#again a writing quality issue mostly i think

[bloogers-boogers]

0*/**/20**

"My first time with Adam... now that's unexpected to write, think or say.. but it was unfortunately anticipated from the start of this whole marriage arrangement.

Where to begin? It was awkward. At the beginning, just by taking our clothes off was a struggle. Seeing for the first time in ages Adam's bare skin again... it felt like a curse, so soft and fragile looking like the human form he once bore. I couldn't dare touch it, nonetheless look at it so... exposed. It was exhilarating to say the least, but I would never admit it out loud to anybody, mostly not to Adam!

One of Adam’s worst qualities is that he was in fact beautiful. From the beginning of time to his worst possible fate becoming a fallen.

To believe Eve ate this man for dinner every night in eden is to envy. And I could now understand Lilith's fantasies of having the first man on fours and willing to take one in.

At first, ofcourse Adam would protest of the mere idea of bottoming, I didn't expect him to react positive or want to be the one to submit. But it was either that or be thrown back to the streets of hell, cause there was in no way a possibility of me ever submitting to Adam. After all, I've done already plenty of favors!

Aside from that issue, haha! There was plenty of more! Oh boy—! You'd think it'd be easy with our history? FUCK NO.

I wanted to scream the moment I had touched his shoulder, his skin burned against my fingertips. Not even the amount of pain I felt from my fall could compare! Okay... maybe I'm exaggerating a little... that shit was painful as fuck. But you get my point!! It was fucking odd!!! There's things an angel can predict but not this! Never this!

I never thought I'd fuck Adam! Adam of all people!!

And he's my fucking husband too!!!

And the worse part, it wasn't even bad. Yes, it started off awkward but it evolved immediately to something passionate and wreckless, the type of wreckless you could almost consider tender. Adam's kisses were desperate and suffocating, it was almost funny how he was trying to catch my pace. Almost. Because it was hot. Cute. CUTE erghhhhgg!!

Husband! Husband! Husband!! That thing is my husband! The thing that wanted to kill my precious daughter is my husband!

His messy hair, his golden sultry eyes, the drool sliding down his mouth while he chanted my name repeatedly shouldn't have been so memorizing under my gaze.

It shouldn't have felt so good to take him. After everything that happened. After all the sacrifices, betrayal and bitterness. It shouldn't have felt so sweet and right for me to claim Adam that night as mine.

The bite marks, hickes and bruises are only reminders of our honeymoon sins.

This is the last I'll ever be touching Adam, but it was sure an experience I'll never forget. A haunting memory."

Previous >> Next

[aroaessidhe]

2023 reads // twitter thread      

Catch Lili Too

depressed immortal siren trapped in a small town full of supernatural creatures tracking down a serial killer killing both the living and the dead

ghosts, necromancers

demi lesbian MC

[unproduciblesmackdown]

fr both taylor's quants as mirrors to themself. rian Seen as so meritous and deserving and talked to and tasked with and advised and considered but apparently rian's whole thing is going "huh. wha" and having wendy's level of self-reflection (none). winston who is begrudgingly allowed to sit in his corner and ignored b/c he's undeserving so he can't really be meritous and nobody would look in that mirror b/c it's gonna be So not their reflection. while he just won't stop cassandraing and having all these insights and perception and observations nobody even asked or told him to have and is peak taylor understander and just like taylor: isn't guided by a paper-thin ego but also will take criticism / blame / mistreatment Too Much for his own good

[eternallyseverus]

Night Terrors - Severus Snape x y/n

MASTERLIST | AO3 | COFFEE On AO3 here - 2.393 words

Summary: It's 4 am and you woke up once again covered in cold sweat. Tired of having these night terrors you seek for the comfort of Severus Snape.

A/N: I am not a native English speaker so I am sorry for any spelling mistake and if my first smut scene is too bad :D. I tried my best!

Triggers/Warnings: I think there is none other than any bad word around here and there and mentions of Night Terrors, y/n is a she. Please let me know if I missed something important. Also y/n is +18 (you can choose the age you want to, it's just she is not underage).

---------------------------------------------------------

It was 4 am and you woke up again covered in cold sweat. Great. Night terrors were making your life miserable and you  couldn’t understand why you were experiencing all of this.

To be honest, you kind of had an idea of why. You were drowned by deadlines and exams that were hard to meet and on top of that your parents wouldn’t stop sending you OWLs about pushing you to leave your studies in Hogwarts in order to work and help them with the family debt.

You thought about it and you almost dropped your studies but you only had 1 year left before finishing Hogwarts and you wouldn’t dare to stop having the only pleasure that was free in  your life: seeing Severus Snape.

Covered in cold sweat you took your jersey and went outside, sneaking out of your chambers and heading straight to the dungeons to enter his office. Of course he would be there, you knew.

He usually would tell you in those small moments of bonding where you assisted him after class that he also had issues when it comes to having a pleasant night of sleep.

Knocking twice on the door you didn’t wait for him to answer. 

The office was silent, only the small sound of his quill that suddenly stopped writing to meet his cold face, not surprised to see you there at 4 in the morning.

Closing the door slowly you stood in front of him.

Severus slowly left his quill on the right side of the parchment and massaging his temples he began to speak:

“What is this? More whining about the class schedule? Or is this time about the quality of the school’s potion ingredients? Or are we going to be treated to your latest theory on why Harry Potter gets special treatment from the staff?”

Your head shook letting him know that nothing like this was the reason why you were standing in front of him, wearing your cotton pajamas, accentuating every inch of your feminine figure.

Plopping on one chair besides him you sighed audibly. 

“I have night terrors and I just can't sleep”

“And you've decided I would be the best person to help you with this?” He replied in a scornful tone and he resumed grading the papers, unable to look at her eyes.

You were already too annoyed at this precise moment and you knew that visiting him wasn’t the best decision but you couldn’t bear another lecture at this hour.

“Yeah, I have decided that since I felt safe when you are around you are the best person for me to go at 4am because of my night terrors”

Severus' brows pulled together in a clear sign of annoyance being forced to leave his tasks of grading papers, for the second time, in less than 5 minutes.

He folded his arms and looked at you.

“And the nightmares you are suffering from? Tell me about them.”

You knew that this wasn’t him being really interested in what you had to say but mostly to find a reason to manipulate you into thinking that coming to him was another of your foolish ideas and that you should be going out if you didn’t want more points taken from your house.

Still you told him the truth of why you were having them at which he replied first with a laugh full of mockery.

“I could give you nightmares, you pathetic girl”. He laughs to himself. “You live a charmed life, and you have the nerve to complain about being afraid? There are plenty of people who have good reason to be afraid, young lady. You, on the other hand, cannot imagine how it feels to be at the mercy of powers against which we are helpless!”

Snape took a few seconds to reply again, raising his voice. 

“You think that is a nightmare?”

It was obvious that Severus Snape himself wouldn’t be holding your hands and saying how sorry he was for seeing you like this, of course not, but after all you at least had the small hope of him having some sort of… pity. Some soft of mercy or true for you.

But you felt miserable. Of course you did. You knew him and usually you would beg for this type of interaction if it meant to be noticed by him. But today you didn’t want this.

Slowly standing up from your seat Severus seems to take into account how his words especially affected you tonight. 

“No, girl, sit down”. He said simply, but you stood there, quiet, looking at him.

Seeing that you were looking at him with a puzzled look Severus spoke again.

“That is why you have come to me? For comfort?” He seems genuinely puzzled as well. “You think that I could possibly be a comforting person?”

You nodded slowly, still there, as if she was challenging him but the truth is that she was sensing that Severus was trying to say something more and she wanted to test her luck tonight.

“You are clearly mistaken”. He continued.  “How do you imagine that I of all people would be remotely capable of giving you comfort?” The same sneering, contemptuous tone of earlier, and then, as if he has just thought of something important, he says, even more witheringly. “And, even if I were inclined to be comforting, what makes you think you of all people would be deserving of my comfort?”

Hands balled into fists made you suppress your anger at his words. And it worked since it gave you the energy to reply to him back.

“I don't deserve your comfort, I completely know about it. I just... I just wanted to stay here. I can be silent if you... want to”.

Snape sighs.

“Stay then, if staying makes you any less pathetic”.

Pathetic. He said. Maybe I was after all. Still here even if he wanted to push me away. 

He was insulting me and still, still after all of this it was my body who moved alone, silently, going towards him. 

You don’t really know what happened. If it was the way he saw your face contorted with pain at his words, the fact that you had the courage to still fight him despite his coldness but something in Severus broke inside of him at that precise moment.

He looked at you and without showing any emotion he spoke.

“I do care for you, you know.”

Your eyes snapped quickly at him, staying silently for a few minutes. Unable to move, even unable to breath in case that you broke the spell. In case that the sound of your existence bothered him and changed his words.

But your mouth had other plans and decided to speak.

“You do?”

“Yes” he simply stated.

Your eyebrows furrowed at his simple answer but you  needed to know more.

“And what exactly do you care about me?” 

“Because, unlike many people I know, you have done very little to deserve my dislike. And there are certain qualities in you that I admire”. 

His voice is quiet, almost a whisper, and sounds as if it is choking on those last words.

“The amount of courage you possess is truly remarkable”.

That made you chuckle softly at his words, a lot of butterflies starting to fly on your stomach.

“Well, you inspire me to be like that so, all the credit goes to you, sir” 

Severus gives that a short, dry, humorless laugh that could almost pass as a cough.

“Very flattering, I must admit”.

 There is a very short pause as Snape considers what he has just said before he continues in practically a whisper.

“I suppose you could say that I... feel a responsibility towards you... to keep you safe as best I can”.

You were having luck tonight, and you should have stood where you are but why not? Why not test the waters? Why not push the buttons? Why not?

“So if you want to keep me safe as best as you can... does this finally include that you will help me with the night terrors i just had?”

The contemptuous sneer is back. His voice is back to cold and harsh.

“Do you really expect me to comfort you, as though you are an infant, for night terrors?”

He laughs again and speaks even more contemptuously, mocking her. 

“If you ask so nicely, I suppose I can let you cry on my shoulder”.

At this moment you  continued walking towards him standing by his side. Him sitting on his chair behind his desk.

“If I ask nicely…” you  whispered. “Will you allow me to sit on your lap and find comfort on your hands?” and after finishing this sentence your  right hand was laying on his shoulder.

He was shocked at your words.

 He doesn't say anything, but he looks at you as if you  had suggested something that was completely outrageous and unthinkable, and as if he is wondering whether you  were being serious or making fun of him. But then... All of a sudden... the shock turns into a hint of almost imperceptible color on his face, and, as a hint of amusement enters his voice, he lets out a single "hmph", without any further words needed to explain the meaning behind it.

And also nothing else came from you as well. A slow nod that ended in your body moving slowly to sit on his lap.

It’s strange at first, the feeling of his fabric on your skin, the stiffness on his body and on yours but you try to adjust your body. 

But it feels so good. How your back is laying on his chest and your head on the crook of his neck. Silently taking into his smell. Fresh herbs. Sandalwood. It suits him.

And he felt at first that he wanted to push y/n. But then, slowly,  almost unwillingly, he moves his hand to rest on the back of her head, his thumb caressing her temple ever so softly as she starts to lean on his chest.

It was an intimate moment. A life changing one. In a couple of minutes the dynamics between the two of you had changed and the desire and prayers of you trying to get into your professor's life came true. The room was silent and only the breath of the two of you could be heard.

Severus was the first one to break the silence with a perceptible soft tone whispering in your ear. 

“Maybe you were not so pathetic after all”.

Another chuckle escaped from your lips and your hand started to toy with his fingers, feeling the rough hands of your Professor. Hands that have gone through so much. So much pain, so much hardness and difficulties.

“I am not, I am glad that you are starting to see it even if you can be this cruel with your words”

He makes a dry, humourless laugh and says in a contemptuous tone.

“That is my way of being caring, I'm afraid”.

He smiles then, a small, barely noticeable smile, as if at the memory of a secret joke, and continues in a voice so low he almost isn't even sure if he said anything.

“You have never heard me being outright insulting, have you?” 

The contemptuous sneer suddenly returns.

“Because I can be much, much crueler”.

Oh god, If he just  could say those words in another context. In his bed. Perhaps. You thought for a second, wild thoughts trying to control your  body and your mind but you quickly stopped them.

Instead, you just shook your head.

“You are right. Well, then I must be a bit special after all”.

His voice is low, but he lets out something that almost, just about, could maybe pass for a laugh. 

“Just a bit?”

A small smile appears on his mouth.

 “Not everyone can say they were only called pathetic by Severus Snape at four o'clock in the morning”.

That made you absolutely laugh. And it was unexpected. Your chest didn’t weigh as much as it did when you arrived at his office and his frown ceased and it was replaced by a faint smile.

“That 's true. And not everyone can say that they have sat on Snape's lap at 4 in the morning”

He curled an eyebrow as a quick response.

“Is that supposed to be some special honour? My lap?”

“Yeah, it is. Would you allow this to anyone?”

His sneer appears to be mixed with amusement and he lets out that single dry, humourless laugh again. It almost seems as though he finds this amusing - but he will certainly never admit it.

“No, I wouldn't. It is special just for you”.

Your hand stopped playing with his fingers and instead you held it, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“I wish I could be special in every single way” you whispered to him looking anywhere but his face which started to blush madly.

But he stared at you with burning eyes. And you started to feel it.

“Do you wish I could show you?” you didn’t hear anything but you would bet that he was smirking.

Your hand dropped his and this time you met his eyes, your left arm slowly rising to cup with your hand his cheek.

“Yeah, show me”

He doesn't resist when you caress his cheek. 

He is so close to you  that their faces are only inches away. 

His eyes slowly moved down to your lips. A tiny ghost of a smile curves his lips as his eyes look into yours.

 And all of a sudden, he starts to move, slowly, almost as if he is hesitating.

 His face is coming even closer to yours.

 Your faces are almost touching.

And as if all of this were happening in slow motion…

Severus just kisses you.

And the kiss is reciprocated. Slow. Timid at first but revealing a content sigh from both parts as if the two of you were wanting this for so long.

The night ended slowly and the sun slowly was rising, kisses exchanged with soft touches and small moans of satisfaction. Your lips getting to know each other with soft dances of your tongues.

He certainly gave you the comfort you were wishing for.

[yellowocaballero]

Writing update

I should probably give an update because things been slightly whack. Roughly, in order:

Was having issues with my medication, and writing got really difficult. Wanted to write Naruto, could not. Continued writing that Jason Todd story because what am I going to do, not write?

Fix medication issues. Feel like I can write again. Open up literally almost fucking random word document, see that it was the first paragraph of the More Than Zero rewrite (the story from my Star Wars No Chip AU) that I never did.

Go nuts.

Sixty pages into doing the rewrite, I decide that actually this story cannot function at all if I don't stop writing it and go write an entirely different story, which is somehow necessary for the quality of this story. Time to write the one of the many other No Chip AU stories I never got around to writing.

Go nuts.

40k of the Neyo story now exists. It's good, mostly.

Realize at this point that I cannot post a 40k fic on Tumblr and that the complete series is now clicked into my mind as an anthology, which means that it needs to go on AO3.

For several different reasons, one of which is admittedly marketing, I would like the series to stand on its own, so I need to completely rewrite the Order 66 story to establish everything about the universe that the ordinary roleswap fics established.

Realize I've gone nuts.

Decide to completely rewrite the Order 66 story anyway, it is at least twice as long and basically completely different.

As I do this, I realize that now the Rex buildingsroman story doesn't work at all, so I need to cut one section of that and rewrite a portion of it as well.

I would also like to make some semi-significant changes to the Bly story.

I am currently in the state of going nuts and will continue to be going nuts until some undetermined point in the future, at which point I will post every single fic in one story on AO3. There will be a metanarrative.

Decide that I was completely correct in aggravating literally everybody by refusing to post this on AO3, because if I had posted it on AO3 then it would have been way more difficult to rewrite all of this. I also feel a lot more confident in the quality of the rewritten versions and have, fortunately, improved over the last two years as a writer.

I think.

SO YES, I WILL BE POSTING IT ON AO3 THIS TIME. OKAY?

This is all BIG news for like maybe three people. All that to say, I will not be posting anything for a bit and then So Much will be posted. The revamped series should stand on its own and not need any knowledge of its parent AU. This is why I've disappeared off the face of the Earth. I will come back with Star Wars.

[nonbinarypirat]

Hello! I really like your character analysis from m!ik. I wanted to ask you what do you think of Amerie? And her influence on Iruma? And their relationship?

Great question! Okay, I’ll go in order of your questions since you have a few for me :)

Okay, so I have issues with how Ameri is written on the character, some of the few issues I have with Nishi’s writing thus far. But before I talk about the negatives I want to focus on the positives of Ameri and her character because I do think she has a lot of potential that I hope we get to see! Ameri is a classic capable but soft character type that we see in both her romance fantasies but also her deep care for her fellow students. She isn’t just a student president because of the prestige or power it could give her, it’s because her ideal is for every demon to be proud of themselves and their authentic selves. And this is a quality in her that I find deeply profound and beautiful. She’s proud of herself and she wants others to be proud of themselves as well. And what I like about Iruma and Ameri is that she encourages him to strive for more, more than he ever could have dreamed of in the beginning. And he makes her enjoy herself more rather than overworking herself. He makes her be still more, stop to appreciate the little things. She also has the power to inspire others, a nature born leader, and one that is willing to do anything for her fellow students. Not to mention she has given her fellow student council members a place to belong and by doing so, they have deep respect and loyalty to her. And for demons who are inherently selfish and idealistic, this says a lot. They aren’t with her because of her strength, they care for her and I think that speaks volumes in itself.

What I have a problem with is how much her growth is tied to iruma. I think in this Nishi failed at making her an independent character. For instance, we don’t get to see her work towards rank 7, which would help her in her main ambition. We know she wants to take over for her dad, but we don’t know why that’s so important to her yet. And we don’t get to see the steps she takes towards that goal. Her growth is her progress in her relationship with Iruma and I think that’s a let down. Like I said, I love how she inspires and pushes iruma to be a better version of herself. I enjoy that a lot about their relationship. But I don’t find myself interested at all in the romance aspect of the two, mostly because of how they met each other. The trope is that in so many animes and mangas (and the romance genre in general) have two characters run into each other and instantly fall for the other. They went for the trope, we had some laughs about it, but then it kind of just… stuck around? It’s making fun of the clique while also adhering to it and to me it just didn’t land. I think for the joke to work and to make the relationship flow better, the immediate attraction should have quelled and from there a more slow burn of feelings for Ameri. I think if she didn’t become so Iruma crazy so soon into the story, it could have made a more compelling relationship compared to the current one we have. Right now, besides motivating each other I don’t see much in the way of their relationship? I think it’s also hard because we see so little of her in the actual plot and story so the relationship feels like it’s going at a snail’s pace while also going too fast when we do get to see them interact again to make up for the lack of Ameri. It’s weird, they’ve gone on three or four dates (or at least, we can categorize them as dates even if both characters haven’t called it that) but at the same time it’s like nothing has happened for them. I guess besides Ameri realizing her feelings, Iruma blushing when hugging Ameri, and the talk with Henri. I wish the relationship was more friendship focused or the feelings took longer to develop. Because she’s a busy woman and she’s a year above Iruma, we don’t see her actively take part of the plot often and it just makes it hard to get to know more personal stuff about Ameri.

This isn’t to say I’m a Ameri x Iruma hater, I just don’t find their relationship a fun part of the story. I do also admit to having a bias for the love trio when it comes to Iruma ships. But I do hope that the relationship develops more in an in-depth way because I could see her and their relationship becoming more interesting if Nishi takes the time to write her (in my opinion) better.

[toyybox]

Spiderwebs #41: Magnum Opus

Masterlist

content: lab whump, needles (blood draw), immortal whumpee

• —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

“I’m certain that, with a few more years of research, I could discover why your body doesn’t kill it off. If I figure that out—“ She didn't finish that thought. “But there’s no guarantee. That’s only if everything goes according to plan.”

“I’m sure it will,” he said.

They were in the laboratory again. He was sitting in her office chair, as he always did, and she brought a folding chair up from the kitchen. There were peaches for breakfast. Jackie mentioned that he wanted to eat them a few days ago. He was surprised that she remembered. It snowed again the night before, and the morning was less sunny than usual. Gray clouds painted the sky instead. He wondered if it would storm.

“I should write a paper about this,” she said suddenly. “I will write a paper. These notes are practically incoherent.”

"You can’t publish it, though, can you?”

“I can’t publish it. It would be nice if I could, but I would also have to explain how I met you.”

Yes, that little detail. “What are you going to name it?”

“Oh, I don’t know. I always get someone else to come up with the titles. I suppose we’ll need to name the organism, too. You should name it.”

“I don't have any ideas."

“Neither do I. We can think of one later. I’ll start writing soon. Though, I do want to ask you a few questions first.” Hence, Heather was holding her journal and a pen. “Have you ever experienced issues with your immune system?”

“No.”

“Do you recall anything abnormal about your birth? Anything at all? Even if it seems small, tell me. We’re grasping at straws here.”

“No, it was normal.” 

She wrote these findings down. “And I assume you never experienced any sort of… I don’t know, rare event? Nothing in your life that could have caused this?”

“Not really.”

“Then I presume it’s an innate condition, ever since you were born.” She set the journal and pen down on a table. “But you can’t be the only person with this organism. The species couldn’t possibly become this far developed in a single host. There must be other immortals out there, somewhere, whether they’re aware of it or not.”

"If you're right about the parasite thing, then I guess it’s possible. Maybe we’ll find someone like that."

“I wouldn’t mind having a larger control group. By the way, I did a complete blood count…” Her tone shifted to an air of professional curiosity, and Jackie recognized that she was about to lecture him about some new discovery she found. “On the blood samples from when you were starving. I noticed average levels of red blood cells and hemoglobin, but the platelet levels were slightly higher than normal. Platelets are there to—“

“Wait, I know this one. They clot blood.”

“Exactly.” She nodded. “They create clotting. But I barely saw any white blood cells. Even in healthy samples, oddly enough. There’s more organisms in your bloodstream instead. They take the job of killing infections, like I told you. I also noticed what seemed to be eggs in your veins.”

“Really? Eggs?” Though Jackie had mostly detached himself from all these biological miracles, he still felt some discomfort at this idea.

“It’s what’s keeping you alive, so I suppose it can’t be helped. There was an excessive number of organisms, actually. They reproduce faster when the host is unhealthy. I believe that’s what gave your blood that dark, viscous quality.”

“There’s really no way to get them out?”

“If you find one, let me know.” Out of the blue, she picked her journal up again, clicked her pen open. “Actually, I wanted to ask—have you ever donated blood before?”

“No.”

“Interesting.” She wrote this down. “Your blood is O positive. I tested it earlier. You could hypothetically transfer it to about seventy percent of the population. The organism doesn’t survive in foreign organic matter, so there’s no adverse effects. It would be worthwhile to test it in a living human body, though. My blood is B negative, unfortunately, so I haven’t been able to try it out.”

“And B negative doesn’t mix with the positive types, right? That’s why you can’t test it?”

“Right.”

He remembered that much from his scarce education, if nothing else. Jackie always felt a little lost when she spoke of such concepts. What a complete blood count was, he had no idea. He didn’t want to ask her and interrupt.

“It’s honestly absurd,” she continued. “It’s such an extreme case of specialization. As far as I’ve seen, at least. I still don’t know how it would react to dehydration…”

“I would rather not,” he interrupted. “If that’s possible.”

“No, it’s alright. I understand if you’re not up for it. I…” She closed the journal, gently. “I feel like these tests are too harsh, sometimes. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable, but…”

"I'm okay. It's for science."

“That’s good to hear.” Her conflicted expression was gone at once. 

And he was okay. He had been allowed everything he could ever want… well, almost everything, with some heavy restrictions, but he could settle for that. There wasn't any reason to rock the boat. It had been a peaceful few weeks, all things considered.

Heather glanced at her watch. "Would you look at that? You've been here for an hour, and you're still alive. It appears that my experiment is going very well."

Jackie was, in fact, currently hooked up to a blood bag in Heather’s laboratory. A needle inserted into his arm drained his blood through a clear, thin tube. The sight of so much of his own blood would have made him nauseous, once, but this rich scarlet was now a familiar color. It was a more sanitary method of bloodshed, at least, and relatively painless. 

So far, he had filled up about nine bags. Jackie was not a scientist, but he was fairly certain that wasn’t a normal amount of blood to extract. The bags were arranged on the table, weighed down by the gravity of all that heavy red liquid, entire pints of it sagging at the seams. Heather set about removing the tenth one.

“How many liters is that, doc?” He asked.

“About five.” She slid the needle out of his arm, before applying a band-aid over the gap left behind. “Most people would have died by now.”

He watched her unhook the bag from its thin steel stand. “What are you going to do with all that blood?”

“It’s too complicated to explain.” She forced a juice box into his hand. “Drink that. Your blood sugar must be through the floor. Are you feeling lightheaded?”

“A little.”

She forced a package of biscuits into his other hand. “Nauseous?”

“No.” He regarded the biscuits with suspicion. “I’m not hungry.”

“Keep it, at least. Eat when you feel up to it.” She placed the tenth blood bag onto the table. “You know, you don’t have much of an appetite lately.”

“I guess.” Hunger was a point of contention. But he was starting to feel thirsty, oddly enough. He stabbed the plastic straw through the juice box. 

“Yes, ever since…” She paused. But she carried on without a second thought, as if she had never mentioned it at all. “I do wonder where all this blood is coming from.”

Now that his arm wasn’t attached to the needle, he could move it freely. He shook his wrist out for a few seconds. “Hey, where’d you learn all this stuff, anyway? Harvard?”

He said it as a joke, but she replied, “Harvard? Don’t insult me like that. I studied somewhere reputable, thank you.” 

“Somewhere reputable.” He wasn’t sure what that would even entail. Nicer jars for their organ collections, maybe. “What did you get? A PhD?”

“Yes, a doctorate. Did you study anywhere?”

“Nowhere, really. I graduated high school, but I didn’t do anything after that. I just started working.” 

He had never seen his education as a priority. When the police took him in... anyway, they had him in and out of the hospital, then sent him to a couple different homes, and that didn't leave any time for him to care about school. He wanted to study language, if he could, but he didn't think that was possible anymore.

Besides, it was expensive. He could barely scrape together the cash for rent. Getting work as a waiter had been incredibly lucky, in hindsight.

“So you didn't receive further education,” she said. “I assumed as much.”

“You assumed right. I’m not that smart.”

“Well, I don’t know about that. I’ve taught you a few things.” She leaned back in her chair. “Natural talent doesn’t count for anything, you know. There’s a brilliant mind born every day that goes to waste. That’s not enough to get you anywhere. It’s about perseverance and discipline, in the end.”

And a lot of money, he thought tartly. That wasn't Heather's fault, though, and she really was good at what she did. He decided to just let her talk. She could be quite talkative, actually, once she got started.

"I can tell you’re irritated,” Heather said.

“I’m not,” he said. “Continue, please.”

“You don’t have to lie. It's obvious. You should know I appreciate your presence. Even if I don’t express it very well.”

“Yeah, you don’t.”

“I don’t. I can be… harsh. But I meant it. I just can’t say it like you do. I’m terrible at that.”

That was true, despite all her other talents.

“You're my crowning jewel,” she said. “My—my magnum opus, even. But you’re also my friend. You’re the only person I care about.” 

“I know that.”

And he couldn’t hold grudges, when she spoke that way. It was all so stilted, so artlessly sincere. For once, the words were slow and careful, purely meant for him. He had already forgotten the rest of their conversation.

She fell silent. It seemed as though she had been distracted by something.

He looked up at her. “What’s wrong?”

“Do you ever want to leave?” she asked.

"Do I have a choice?"

“No.” She searched his expression intently. "You don't."

He stared back with the same intensity. "Then stop asking me stupid questions."

She didn’t move away, and for a moment she was completely still. Her gaze lingered, as dark as night, burning like distant fires. Maybe that was the wrong thing to say. 

It didn’t matter. She knew he wasn’t going anywhere. Perhaps that was for the best. His circumstances had always been difficult, but he used the cards he was given the best he could. He would be happier this way. Playing his role until the bitter end.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Taglist:

@theelvishcowgirl @lthrboy @whumpy-wyrms

@yassifiedinformation @creppersfunpalooza

@vidawhump @dont-look-me-in-the-eye

[winteriron-trash]

pinned faq

hi, my name is roman. i used to be a semi-popular winteriron blog, but now this blog is mostly dead. so. rip, gone but not forgotten. but i still get some pretty common questions so here's a one-stop shop for most of them as well as links to the important things.

My Tumblr Fic Masterlist

My Ao3

My (dead) WinterIron Discord Server

Did you write the Tony Stark wifi tower fic?

yes, i wrote that fic! it is by far the most popular thing i've ever written and it will probably outlive me.

I found that fic on [insert site here], do they have your permission?

probably not, no. i have found that fic everywhere. and i mean everywhere. pinterest, wattpad, facebook, instagram, tiktok, mediachomp, and so on. honestly, it's been years and i can't control or chase down every single copy and i have no interest in doing so. i don't love that it was stolen from me (especially on for-profit sites) but it just is what it is. it's a fanfic rite of passage to have your stuff stolen, honestly.

can i do a translation/podfic/write something inspired by one of your fics/posts?

yes! there is always a blanket permission to do any sort of transformative work with my work, especially my older stuff. if it sparks joy and creativity in you, run wild with it. i prefer to be credited, but honestly, i'm just happy to see my stuff still inspiring people.

will you ever write winteriron/mcu fanfic again?

well, you should never say never. but in this case, you might want to say never. i have very little interest in winteriron or the mcu in general outside of nostalgia, and i likely will never write anything substantial for them again. it's sad, i miss it too, but i just don't have that spark for marvel these days. mostly i write dc comics fanfiction.

did you write [insert winteriron fic/post here]?

idk. maybe. probably. i wrote and posted a lot of things. you can scroll the tag on this blog to find all my old posts, some more popular than others. if you think it was me, chances are, it probably was. i got around a lot from like 2018 to 2020.

do you have a tagging system?

i used to but lord if i'm going to use it now. i don't even remember it, so your guess is as good as mine. tbh i just use tags as a place to ramble these days so navigating my blog is about as easy for you as it is for me. which is to say, it's not easy at all. because tumblr's search function is ass. i do know one of my old tags has my deadname in it. you'll probably find it if you look hard enough, but that is what it is.

are you going to revive this blog?

probably not consistently, no. if i have something i really want to say here, i'll say it, but i don't have much interest in maintaining this like i used to. i want to be able to, i miss posting here a lot, i just don't think it'll spark joy for me the way it used to, which sucks but that's just the way things go.

why did you leave this blog?

idk. life happened. i was an 18-year-old fighting chronic health conditions and mental health issues that led to me dropping out of high school so, tumblr sort of fell to the back burner, then got forgotten about entirely. eventually, i lost interest in the mcu as i felt the quality of it took a turn for the worst and i went back to dc, which i'm still into. i read some marvel comics, enjoy an occasional mcu project, but largely i just don't have the interest i used to. it sucks and i miss it, this blog probably kept me alive as a teenager. but now it's mostly just an archive of my past, and i'm okay with that.

can i talk to you/send you an ask/befriend you anyway?

sure, if you want, don't know if i'm good company though. but i'm always open to making friends and reminiscing about winteriron, marvel, and all that good stuff. i've gotta warn you though, tumblr fucking eats my DMs on this blog like no fucking business. i'm regularly fighting it. my discord is devilbonesofmetal if you wanna yell at me there, just say you're from tumblr.

[qballqueue]

Bloomburrow's story is good

Having just binged the audio version of the Bloomburrow story, I can say with genuine surprise that I actually enjoyed it a lot??? I'm stunned, legitimately, that it actually delivered.

For context, I'm not an avid reader of the Magic story. It had been so reinforced from community consensus--as well as my own experience--that the story for each set was largely lacklustre, existing mostly so people could see what their favourite blorbos were up to instead of actual entertainment, that I hardly bothered reading them and stuck to story recaps on Youtube. It had always seemed to be a better use of my time.

This was echoed by my reading of the Thunder Junction story. I loved the idea of Magic Cowboys, so I actually dove in to read this one as it was being released, and it was meh at best. It was a story where most of the characters were reappearing ones instead of new, almost none of whom felt they had any reason or motivation for wanting to be there. And the climax largely centred on a cliffhanger, which left a lot of narrative tension feeling unresolved.

(For the record, absolutely no shade thrown towards author of the OTJ story articles, Akemi Dawn Bowman. I found the actually writing to be enjoyable, and I'm 80% sure most of my issues with the narrative were mandated to be there)

I went into Bloomburrow expecting more of the same, honestly. I only really started it because I needed something to listen to, but, like, holy shit. We have a mostly original cast that's simple but fun. We have a plot that's almost entirely self-contained, with no larger narrative implications so it's just allowed to be itself. We actually only have one reappearing character who joins in on the current story instead of taking it over. It's just a short, pleasant ride you can finish in an afternoon.

I do have some issues. For starters, the prophecy that happens at the end felt like a shoe-horned in way to remind people that there's supposed to be an over-arching plot. I do prefer it to the 'something interesting is going to happen soon, we promise' form of storytelling longer narratives often fall prey to, which MtG's story often does, but I would just as soon do without an over-arching story at all if I'm being honest.

The pacing also felt a bit rushed. By the time we get to chapter five, it feels like we're only at the middle of the story, but then the antagonist's introduction, their explanation, a couple climatic battles, and the ending happen all at once. It felt like I had skipped something, but this feels more like an issue with WotC only allowing five chapters per set and one set per plane.

Speaking of which, if the quality of the Bloomburrow story is doing anything, it's highlighting how shitty it is that each plane only gets one set worth of story before we have to leave again. I liked the story, so it's a shame that as soon as the set arrives it'll be gone for a while; WotC almost assuredly has the next year-or-so's worth of sets planned out already, so if there ever is more Bloomburrow story it'll be way in the future, and not because someone decided to put faith in it--it'll be because it proved profitable enough for a revisit.

So, yeah. You know the drill: artistic integrity good, capitalism bad, etc., etc.. But I will say that I think these story articles are worth a look. Kudos to the author, Valerie Valdes, and the entire story team.

[zhansww]

The first ~28 episodes of War of Faith are so good. So fucking good. And definitely recommendable. But the drop in the quality of the writing after that is... jarring. The pacing runs wild, the plot gets ridiculously contrived and a good character turns evil for no reason. Basically, the best way I’d recommend this show is to watch until about episode 28 and after that, just skip to the finale. Spare yourself all the nonsense in between. Although I will say that the character of Wei Ruolai, at least, stayed pretty consistent and mostly well-written until the very end. He’s easily become my favorite of all the characters I’ve watched Yibo play. Oh and there is definitely potential for a second season. As long as it has the same quality as the first two acts of season one, I would totally welcome it.

spoilers under the cut

As much as I appreciated what they did to redeem Tunan at the end, my biggest issue is that Tunan should not have turned evil in the first place. He shouldn’t have fucking needed redemption. It (still) makes no sense. And it’s the worst mistake of the third act. I could literally condone anything else. The fact that Tunan turns into a warlord, even though he is banker. The fact that everyone suddenly knows how to wield guns and fight. The ridiculous plot armor for certain characters and how conveniently important things constantly happen at the same time. Like, I’m fine with all that. But changing characters to move the plot in a certain direction instead of having characters move the plot naturally... that’s where I draw the line. And I know what they did it for. To make it more angsty. To make us, viewers, feel some type of way. But nope, the only thing bad writing makes me feel is annoyance.

Even if I take my shipping glasses off for a moment, I think it’s safe to say that Tunan and Ruolai are the heart and soul of this story. Heck, this show literally starts off with Ruolai, trying to get a place at Central Bank, where his beloved Tunan works. That’s what kicks off the entire story. Honestly, their relationship is gayer than the only canonically gay c drama I watched. And even though the third act is a mess, their relationship is still probably what I liked the most on this show. And I’m glad that they, somehow, got a sort of happy ending. I assume the implication in the end is that Tunan is the comrade Ruolai was supposed to meet... And since they’re finally (belatedly) on the same side again, they get to work together again, too. It’s a bit bittersweet but oh well. Better than if Tunan had died, at least. Ruolai has this really endearing and whole-hearted devotion to Tunan. They very much have a master/servant dynamic at the beginning. But the more Ruolai grows into his own, the more he steps out of Tunan’s shadow and at the very end, they meet each other as equals. I really liked what Yibo himself said about their relationship, that they started as master and disciple but gradually came to consider each other family.

I’m really fucking glad that Yibo chose this role and that he played it the way that he did. I don’t even know how long it’s been since the last time I was this invested in a show (not counting the OP live action cuz I’ve been invested in the og for a decade lol) so I’m ultimately quite happy that I watched this which I wouldn’t have done if it weren’t for dd, tho. My man really chooses the best roles and his performances keep getting better. I’m super proud of him and to be his fan~

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

The Sign - final thoughts

I want to start by reasserting what I've said before about companies like Idol Factory. Having production companies being willing to try new things and push the genre is always going to get points from me, even if I don't absolutely love the end result. Much better that than yet another university series that doesn't even attempt to be coherent.

So I am grateful that this show exists, even if I did struggle to maintain my enthusiasm the entire way through.

We'll start with some very solid positives.

Pros:

Idol Factory is so good at identifying talent. The acting was overall great, with some genuine standout performances (Nat as Art, I mean c'mon, just incredible). Heng devoured his role. Gap was an utter delight. Billy swings between horny and angsty like no one else. Babe did amazing for his first series, and I look forward to seeing him develop as an actor.

The talent behind the camera was really strong in some arenas too. The production quality was high, and we got some genuinely beautiful cinematography.

Even characters in small roles were memorable and well-characterized.

The action scenes were pretty solid, for the most part. The underwater stuff looked really, really good.

The sex scenes. Idol Factory knows we are thirsty bitches, and I appreciate that about them. And they were so pretty!

The cast chemistry. It was fantastic.

The premise - I am a sucker for the reincarnation trope, Until We Meet Again has a firm hold on my heart.

Some genuinely interesting ideas around karma and fate and determinism.

Getting to see more of Thai culture and mythology.

Cons:

This part hurts, because I really was so obsessed with this series in the beginning. I think it was mostly a writing issue, but there's some big flaws in the story construction that became apparent as we got further along. The interweaving of the past & present, the cop storyline with the mythology storyline...it got a bit clunky.

There were a number of planted seeds that never bore fruit. The Abott being set up as a powerful ally to then be completely nerfed in the last episode. Chalothon being set up to be punished for refusing to give up his quest of vengeance, but that never happening. Tharn being told multiple times he needs to learn to fight for his love, and then he just...doesn't. (Unless you consider talking to Chalothon for a year "fighting").

Really clunky setup at times - we've spent almost no time with Khem and Tongthai, and then suddenly a ring, and then suddenly he's shot, and then suddenly he's fine.

Relatedly, I genuinely can't believe that for their final scene, they had Tharn run in and just tell Phaya that Chalothon had entirely changed as a person and was now in support of them. Why wouldn't you have at least one scene of Tharn & Chalothon talking? I get that show don't tell is not universal for every situation, but it was hella important here! That was a genuine wtf moment. It would have been so powerful to see Tharn finally break through to Chalothon, after centuries of hurt.

The flashbacks. I get that they had to use a ton of the budget for CGI, but I rather wish they had either done the flashbacks in the green screen space they used for Phaya being unconscious, or just used a black stage. It just felt like the cast in costumes running around in the woods, which, admittedly, it was. But it took me out of the immersion, and made them less impactful.

I will still watch anything Billy does, and I'm excited to see where Idol Factory goes from here. And someone needs to do a Gap/Yoshi series stat.

[ghostlyvoidshark]

Could you do some rival Headcanons between epic and cross sans fighting over us? Like every second you cannot breath, each of them trying to one up each other to show who would treat you better. This idea has been floating in my head for a bit, so just wanted to finally request it. (Also, can we be gender neutral? And romantic, obviously) Thank you and have a good day/night! :)

Hello hun! Sorry this took me a little while - I've had to work more than normal recently. But THANK YOU FOR THE ASK!! I thi k this is my first from a non-moot so im so excited to be able to write this for you! I hope you have a lovely day / night as well :D sorry if this isnt that long, im trying to get some confidence in my writing lolol

Epic & Cross x Reader

Cross doesn't like fighting Epic since they are pretty close but this doesn't stop him from getting competitive.

Epic, on the other hand, loves play fighting and competing with Cross! He's not aggressive about it, he just does it for fun.

Cross is usually trying to prove himself worthy of your affection in some way while Epic just likes flirting and making you laugh.

Epic is surprisingly good at flirting but often settles for making you laugh because he loves it so much.

Sometimes Epic flirts with cross too just to fuck with him lmaoo - Cross is always baffled and a mess when it happens. Its pretty funny to watch tbh.

Most people assume youre a polycule. Epic doesnt help dispel that with his flirting. I mean a poly relationship could probably work.

You will never know alone time again if you don't set those boundaries. They're both Clingy!!

Given the chance, Cross will escort you everywhere - hes like your own personal bodygaurd. (You dont know how he knows your schedule so well or how he finds you so easily when going out.)

Epic also shows up a lot. Hes usually the one initiating lunch & dinner dates between y'all. Well, its not obvious theyre dates but they basically are, lmao.

They do try to one up each other but you'll next to never see them fight. You may catch them bickering about who did better, though. Epic likes instigating and Cross can be sassy.

They may have a fight about you once. Other than that they are chill because they're so close and Epic often gets Cross to communicate.

The fight would probably be mostly on Cross. He would get mad that he fell for someone his best friend likes. He would be upset that he "couldn't have someone himself" both because he feels guilty about Epic and for personal issues (he's lost a lot). Then he'd be mad that he thought that way and felt jealous. He wouldn't like how selfish he feels. Epic talks him through it, though. And talks some sense into him :]

Cross may be quiet most of the time but he is hanging around more often than not. He's just sort of ... supervising lol. Its comforting in an odd way. He likes the quality time too.

Sometimes Epic gets you alone, though. He gets you two to do relaxing things together like a picnic or video games.

He can be surprisingly tender and romantic but he will ruin it with a joke after surprising you or flustering you with the romance so cherish the moment while you can. Good luck, too. ;P

Cross is a mixed bag. One moment he's purposely suave and dashing then the next he cant get a sentence out . Its like he has moments of clarity then goes back to being a dork.

On a few occasions they will team up on you. I don't think they would really plan it unless it was your birthday or something special like that. When they do it it's usually just an accident and their moods synced to cause chaos.

When they team up they are menaces! Epic would be all gentle and romantic with flirty, witty remarks while Cross would be the type to guide you by the small of your back, leaning in to tell you things. And you know he'd be saying stuff like he's your personal knight! "I'll always be there for you." || "if you ever need anything just come to me, I'll take care of you." And shit like that.

Augh they would have you cornered but like in a good way. Cross always behind you, making sure you're safe while Epic leads you around by the hand. I hate them. I actually love them damn it.

Sometimes they get needy and steal you away for a while. The dorks.

Epic "kidnaps" you to cuddle up somewhere and read or watch a movie. He's very touchy (respectfully) so if you're okay with it he will be all over you. He especially loves it if you act as his weighted blanket and lay on him.

Cross gets grouchy and takes you somewhere on an "adventure". Most of the time it'll be somewhere without people. If the place has rough terrain he'll likely try to convince you to let him carry you lol. "You got it?" / "you tired?" / "want help?" Any reason to be close or touching you if you'll allow it.

If you're more of a low and mellow energy person he'll set up a special spot where he sets up stuff for one of your hobbies (if he can) somewhere hidden and will hang out with you.

Stars forbid you give only one of them a gift. They won't guilt you or be mean, but they will rub it in the others face subtly. If they're the one who didnt get something then Epic would jokingly act all clingy and pouty while Cross glares at him. Speaking of, Cross would stand closer than normal and Low-key pout if he didn't get something. Like a cat who wants something from you.

If you're the more affectionate, touchy type then you're going to likely always have one of them touching you if they're around. Epic practically hangs off of you while Cross just has a hand on you somehow. They have probably scent marked you, accidentally or not. They just clingy bois.

Also - not in a kinky way - but Cross has a high chance of biting you during prolonged physical contact lol. It's just a quirk of his. Its like cuteness aggression but in a loving way. You can think of it as kisses it a way.

He wouldn't mention it if you dont but it is a good way to fluster him >:3c

As for trying to be better than each other i think they would choose some things you like and try to be "the best" at it?? Like... lets say you collect shells. Suddenly they are finding great shells - in tact and pretty - and giving them to you. Same with trinkets. Or finding weird coffee mugs if you like those.

Epic also is that bitch who has a lot of money and just sugar daddies his friends LMAOO. You want that expensive thing? Dont worry bby hes got it kcjsbsbsb. If hes crushing on you it just gets worse and more ridiculous.

Cross is the one who has dedication to getting you things. So if something is about timing or searching hard for it he's the one to go to. He also just brings you random things like a bird..?? You dont even know where he gets half the stuff he shows up with. You may even just find stuff on a table in your house randomly.

Also, for no apparent reason, kareoke becomes a thing between y'all. You have no choice /j

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 3/5/2024

really fucking around in Breath of the Wild and not defeating Ganon, even though i think i am fairly well prepared, which is probably indicative of something or a metaphor for some larger issue. oh well! guess we'll never know!

listening

Rock the Jungle by The Daniel Pemberton TV Orchestra, off an album of music from and inspired by LittleBigPlanet, a video game i have never played. Daniel Pemberton is a remarkably prolific british composer who mostly does film these days but also does a lot of BBC stuff.

this is the kind of scrubby pad to the brain electronica i need sometimes. i think these are heavily filtered and processed kookaburra sounds? at about the minute fifteen mark it adds a rolling, rollicking bassline that is, as im sure we all know by now, fucking catnip to me. at about 2:20 it adds alarm blares that fade in and out of a sort of disco-y organ? it uses its five minute runtime pretty well imo. i think this was off the spotify discover weekly.

-

reading

T Kingfisher's The Clockwork Boys, recced by @rae-being-naughty lo these many months ago, and my library hold finally came in. the goodreads blurb is a remarkably accurate sales pitch so let's yoink that

A paladin, an assassin, a forger, and a scholar ride out of town. It’s not the start of a joke, but rather an espionage mission with deadly serious stakes. T. Kingfisher’s new novel begins the tale of a murderous band of criminals (and a scholar), thrown together in an attempt to unravel the secret of the Clockwork Boys, mechanical soldiers from a neighboring kingdom that promise ruin to the Dowager’s city. If they succeed, rewards and pardons await, but that requires a long journey through enemy territory, directly into the capital. It also requires them to refrain from killing each other along the way! At turns darkly comic and touching, Clockwork Boys puts together a broken group of people trying to make the most of the rest of their lives as they drive forward on their suicide mission.

i had a lot of fun with this! very pratchett-esque in its imperial critique through bureaucratic loopholes thereof, which is catnip to me, but i do think Kingfisher is simply better at writing women. the forger is an only child and it fucking shows.

i think if it were 5% more devoted to Humorous Bits and didn't have some nice character work between the forging accountant and the big sad blond paladin man, i would have gotten frustrated with it. i think it is simply more of a comedy than any of its blurbs suggest, and it can be difficult to ride that line between comedy and character growth through desperate acts without getting a little bit of whiplash. this is me being very depressed and a bit nitpicky though. the line "Time passed, like a kidney stone" is going to stick in my brain for a while. i already have the sequel on hold

-

watching

if you do nothing else today could you please watch this car chase for me? ok thanks

Gunsmith Cats is a three-episode OVA that's a fancam of the american city of chicago and the cool girls that live and shoot and drive there, but let's just yank the MyAnimeList description

In the dangerous suburbs of Chicago, skilled bounty hunters Irene "Rally" Vincent and "Minnie" May Hopkins run Gunsmith Cats, a firearms store of questionable legality. One day, Bill Collins, an agent for the Chicago branch of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives, blackmails Rally and May into working with him on a case. The stakes are high, but Rally’s gunmanship and May’s knowledge of explosives are unmatched. As Rally and May unravel the secrets of the case, the two will need to use guns and grenades while being faster, stronger, and better than everyone else in order to stay alive.

all three episodes are free (in really nice quality) on youtube. i pitched this to wendy as "rally is jigen lupinthethird's little sister" and her driving skills and marksmanship... i'm not sure who would win between them but i wouldn't like to live on the difference.

animators, historically, hate animating guns and cars, except for the masochistic ones who use it to flex. there are at least three shots in each episode where i want to stand up and hold my cat above my head and hoot like a fuckin tusken raider. in the first episode, there's a raid on a smuggling warehouse (you know, a warehouse) where the BATF agent and Rally throw each other their guns and have a really cool FALLING OFF A CATWALK back to back shootout. it's hard to describe. watch the episode. i wish there were more than three episodes.

this is an OVA that, aside from the requisite panty shot and WHOOPS my whole shirt tore (one of each per episode per girl) is fairly normal about women? rally and minnie are...roommates. that bicker and eat pizza. they have a cool network of other slightly shady women they interact with a lot, and the big bad for most of the episodes is also a woman. this isn't like a bastion of feminism or anything it's just neat. sort of middling on the ass portion of the Weeb Ass Shit scale. low on the weeb and shit parts too. again this is a fancam of chicago with cool girls

i watched this bc i was trying to use up kanopy credits and came across the precursor to this, Riding Bean, which i did not love for several reasons (the big one being the legitimately pedophilic lesbian relationship) but the creator took the concept of Rally out of that forty minute...experiment? and that led me to Gunsmith Cats. thank u ppl who put free anime on youtube

-

playing

still futzing about in breath of the wild. fucking around with sidequests and a sudden need to at least discover all the shrines.

for example, i did all the labyrinth shrines. underneath the akkala labyrinth is the scariest room in the world, bc six of those fuckers are alive and they will all target you the instant you open that chest.

cannot be bothered with the eventide island shrine yet (the roguelike) bc it frustrates the hell out of me. did the thyplo forest one, which was extremely annoying bc it dimmed my whole TV screen (including the UI) instead of just dimming the game itself. im sure someone thought that would be such a cool detail but instead i found it extremely annoying and vey difficult to swap weapons or start campfires.

and then i trundled through a list of shrine quests, bc i apparently had TWELVE missing?? three were korok trials, one was eventide (apparently it only shows up as a quest if you are on the island or have finished it, bc if u die on the island it kicks you back to a pre-island save lmao) so for the others: three i just had to talk to people to officially start and then immediately complete the quest. remember when i was anxious about softlocking myself out of the jungle dragon shrine quest bc i went right there instead of talking to Kass? never fear, nintendo's got my back

"kay how did you possibly miss reading the giant stone tablet to start this quest--" i am not a clever woman. i go "oh i know what to do!!!" when i see the Orb and hare off without looking around further.

A Brother's Roast i missed bc i forgot to talk to everyone in Goron City after defeating rudania, didn't run across Test of Will (the Goron challenge in the Gerudo highlands) bc i forgot to look off that side of the tower and was very focused on gliding into the labyrinth at the right spot, and didn't run across Guardian Slideshow on the far south beaches bc i hadn't explored there yet.

A Stolen Heirloom was deeply annoying. i had four out of five quests complete to unlock this, but there is an unmarked side quest where you have to go into this lady's house at night to figure out she wants fireflies. maybe she has some ambient daytime barks about this? i have never heard them. this was a little obtuse. also i don't love the stealth in this game. this game's stealth really works when you are well out of detection range bc u have a sniper bow, and i find it works less well for me when i have to follow a target. no i haven't finished the korok stealth trial either.

non-shrine nonsense:

ive been using Stasis as a sort of VATS equivalent. in fallout, i like to hit VATS every once in a while just to see who's out there. how many radroaches are nearby. this also highlights most interactable things which i think is nice of the game

gerudo town stuff: i missed this sand seal racing challenge by SO little the first time which annoyed me so much, it took me six more tries to beat the damn thing. i am very charmed that they actually put in a garden for the kid who was trying to grow a garden!

some beach vegetation mysteries: im really baffled by this singular hearty radish growing in full sun in what is essentially sand with a dusting of palm bark. all the other hearty radishes i have seen are in deep forests with partial sun and lots of leaf litter. what the hell is this then. plus a neat little unique sea wrack? korok circle instead of the usual lilypads.

i didn't know this game knew how to do rainbows at all, let alone double ones!

i will leave you with my many attempts to make stamina potions.

-

making

making things requires both the perfect levels of anxiety (too little anxiety and im out doing normal people things, too much anxiety and i shut down, a medium level means im frantically making things to distract myself. we are at the high end of medium) and some level of income bc i inevitably need one or two things to finish projects. eg we are at the level of anxiety where i am only able to do simple things like repainting a whole bunch of big frames for my maps (procured when i had money) but i need more matboard. so they are sitting, 90% finished, in my office closet.

garden update: more than half my bush beans came up with no leaves and promptly died, which could be due to any number of things but im choosing to believe it's bc my bestie's five year old planted them a little too deeply. so it goes. all the sweet peas are fine, all my normal peas and most of my regular climbing beans came up. a little annoyed bc only a third of my nasturtiums came up even after soaking them for 24h as recommended. the shit i Bought (tomatoes, marigolds, mint, rosemary) is doing fine. the spinach and dill i planted are doing fine too, although the spinach also had about a 50% germination rate. this does mean i don't need to thin them but. Hm. yanno?

[invidiia]

Lippmann with assistant darling, a concept:

You’ve always been good at your job, did all that he asked for with no complaints and go along with what he had in mind, that’s why he likes you so much. You don’t really know or expect just how deep that “like” runs, it’s not even just fondness anymore it’s obsession, he doesn’t know when it took for a turn but it did at some point. Does he want to go back? Never, not really.

He realizes he likes you and he’s deep into the pit of desiring you to be with him. He’s nice, and he keeps an eye out for his reputation but there isn’t anything bad if he gave you a bit of a raise, yes? You deserve it after all, along with a lot of other nice things in life he could get ahold of—

being his assistant - yandere!lippmann (bsd)

includes ; lippmann (bungo stray dogs stormbringer)

warning ; yandere themes, mentions of murder, mostly soft!! <3 still yandere. i talk about the reader's hair here so if you're bald then i apologize 👍 also a gaslighting joke but i think he'd do it

note ; I AM SO IN LOVE WITH THIS. GIGGLIGN AND VIOLENTLY SHAKING AND CAUSING AN EARTHQUAKE. I COULDNT REALLY TELL IF THIS WAS A REQUEST (PROBABLY WASNT) BUT I WANTED TO WRITE MORE FOR IT ANYWAY SOO

being lippmann's assistant was an easy job, really. no issues, aside from maybe a jealous fan who thought you were kept too close to the famous actor you worked under.

you caught him staring on numerous occasions. he was just so kind, wasn't he? you know how some famous people aren't as nice as they are when they're interviewed? this just wasn't the case for lippmann - he was perfect, exactly how he presented himself to the public.

sometimes, no — more often than just sometimes, lippmann gave you gifts and compliments. little hair clips, rings or any other accessories from recent movies that he got to keep? why, of course, it goes straight to you! just take the gift, it reminded him of you the entire time he filmed! he made sure to say that the thought of you helped him focus on set. he was just so kind, wasn't he?

lippmann always found himself touching you. was it an arm on your shoulder while he thanked you kindly for bringing him the drink — your choice, of course. go ahead and get yourself a cup of the same thing. he wanted to know your favorite. chances were, he'd ask for the same drink again — or was it the way he gently placed his thumb on your cheek, taking your focus away from the papers of this week's schedule and to him. he would tell you it was dirt on your face, but he kept his thumb there for another moment before straightening his tie and walking away, back to whatever he was doing while your face had flushed from his sudden affection. was there anything on your face? nope!

obviously, your paycheck was smaller than his. you could afford nice things, but of course, lippmann could always buy clothing with the nicer fabrics, and just about everything else with better quality. he knows that you don't have the money for things as nice as he does, but you get around just find with about half of what he makes, aside from any other forms of income he has. the man enjoys buying you things. no matter how much you protest against him spending that, you come to an agreement that you'll pay it back to him. does he let you pay it back in the future? nope, he probably gaslights you 🫶

this is.. obsession. what started as a fond liking to you had escalated and grown to a deep infatuation. lippmann has a good name out there, and getting blood on his hands for you? he'd do it, absolutely. as much as he would love to kill someone who wronged you, you can't get revenge and keep a spotless reputation.

but being a part of the port mafia, he has his ways, doesn't he? lippmann has good connections, and while you don't exactly know other than his relations with the legal side, he still has the ability to get a target on that person's head. who from the organization would pass up an opportunity to kill someone for money?

[ a/n ;; honestly i got more but im so fuckign tired its like 4:33 am and i'm running out of brain energy ]

[n3rdy247]

HEY GIRL YOU DEFINITELY DONT KNOW WHO THIS IS *WINK WINK WINK WINK* (I'm saying wink out loud everytime btw)

From stranger to stranger *wink* do you by any chance write samgladiator hcs??????? 😊😊😊

Perhaps x reader hcs??????? 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

THATD BE SO SILLY IF YOU DID YKNOW LIKE GIRL ITD BE CRAZYYYYYYYY YKNOW LIKE ITD BE SO INSANEEEEEEEE RIGHT???????????

EAEHRHHSUGHE DUDE RIGHTHTHTH IT WOULD BE SOOOOOO FUCKING WILD AND SUCH A SILLY THING TO DO 🤭🤭🤭

(PROBABLY WILL BE OOC THOUGH since i only watched a few episodes, so I'm really sorry if this doesn't really fit your headcanons anon WHO I TOTALLY DON'T KNOW *wink wink*)

(ANYWAY, these will be (mostly) based off the reboot since idk much and keep in mind that I only watched a few episodes, so I'm really sorry if these HCs seem really OOC)

YHS!SAM X READER HEADCANONS GO WEEEE!!!!

I STILL DON'T KNOW HOW TO WRITE

❥ Sooo, starting off the bat, since I'm not really writing yandere hcs, let's put all the batshit crimes he committed aside for this occasion..and focus on him being really silly. ❥ If you see him tripping near a trash can, dude, that's on YOU. I imagine he'd be jokingly bragging to someone how he is about to make a 'pro gamer move', then immediately fail a millisecond later before he could even try SHIT

❥ His love language? Well...uh....you could say it's kind of a mix. ❥ For example, gift giving? Absolutely. If you were to mention something specific that you wanted even once (or maybe even when you were talking to yourself while walking back home)? Expect that very thing to appear right outside your doorstep with a poorly drawn rabbit doodle sticked on top of it with a bunny sticker. ❥ Quality time? Definitely! He loves to see you wake up and THRIVE FOR ANOTHER DAY! You BET he stalks the shit out of you though. If you can't shake the feeling that you're being watched at school, on the road back home, and mayybe when you are about to sleep, then that's on HIM. (Sorry, I said I'm not really writing yandere hcs, not that I will never write any.) ❥ Physical touch? ... ❥ DO YOU TAKE HIM AS A MENTALLY WELL GUY? I DIDN'T THINK SO. ❥ You should know by now that he would SCREAM the second his hand accidentally brushes against yours (though we're not sure about the accident part WINK WINK)

❥ I also have a teeny tiny headcanon that he only lets YOU touch his rabbit ears. (and I MEAN ONLY YOU if others even TRIED they'd be thrown to the nearest dumpster) And when you do so? He MELTS. Like don't be surprised if you see him giggle like a freaking teenage girl is what I'm trying to say 🤭🤭🤭

❥ You also cannot tell me he wouldn't also try to impress you, one way or another. Whether it be trying to make you giggle and twirl your hair by saying the most APPALLING pickup lines of all time, or casually talking to you about your interests as if he was already a huge fan of em (bro actually stood up all night looking at every search result on google about that topic, BUT SHH)

❥ He would also tell you about his day BY EITHER LYING OR TWISTING HIS WORDS AROUND. COME ON NOW.

"Sooo..what weree you up to this weekend?" ❥ "Oh, me??? Well, I bought my friend a cat...and I did help a guy raise money for his cancer.." as he recalls what the FUCK happened in his life that went wrong

❥ Now. You know this man would never ever want to leave you alone (as if it wasn't obvious enough with the abandonment issues and the stalking, but I digress) so you definitely would need to reassure his ass. But once you do so? His droopy rabbit ears would slowly, but surely go right back up again. He can't help it though, you just seem to always make him feel better by existing.

either way, he is a little fucked up bastard someone please put him in a psychiatric hospital (or kiss him, that sounds like a better solution) *DROPS THE MIC AND IMMEDIATELY RUNS*

[olderthannetfic]

Professional jealousy anon here: Thank you so much for your reply and your advice! You're completely right, the root of my issue is probably a combination of all these factors and I really appreciate your detailed explanation.

Just to adress a few points that have been mentioned: I do write in my native language (an Eastern European language) and publish it on a small local archive that is more reminiscent of 2000s HP fanfic sites than AO3, therefore its tagging culture is a bit more rudimentary as well. I always assumed people read the stories that showed up on the front page and didn't bother to get the search function to work but the site has recently been updated, so there might be newcomers who are already proficient with the now-functioning tag and filtering system and search specifically for the darker tags. (Also, nobody makes any money off of these stories, unfortunately with the levels of homophobia in my country that's just not a viable option :( )

As for the quality of my writing, I pride myself on the quality of my prose and my characterisation but I'm admittedly very weak at coming up with decent plots, which these other writers might excel at. I tried reading their stories to see but I was always turned off by their prose style, which just proves, as you've said, that we're very different writers and want different things, and ultimately it's pointless to compare myself to them. So thank you for pointing that out.

Overall, thank you again for your reply and thank you to everyone who added their thoughts! :D

--

:)

I think plot also might matter more for something with fewer obvious hooks, but it's probably mostly just about what audience happens to be on that site. With a smaller venue, you'll just get specific trends in tastes or content sometimes. Nothing you can do about that. It's not a reflection of your skill.