#again I am not a big beach person in real life because sand is Bad Sensory for me. anakin skywalker was so right about sand

[majouartings]

an old thing I unearthed in my wips folder the other day... I didn’t go to the ocean last year haha

[blueberrypancakesworld]

A heart of wire and cable

AM x fem!reader

warning : AM is his own warning, mention of torture, cables instead of tentacles (nothing sexual no worries), feelings for each other (implied), no use of Y/n, nicknames, first person narrator, kiss, manipulation, obsession

Summary : The end of humanity consisting of six remaining four men and two women trapped and kept alive by their own creation that was supposed to protect them. But now, in the past century of madness, torture, one thing is found…a heart encased in her ribs that can feel for a heartless machine. But AM and the Doctor have more in common than the madness of everyone can and wants to admit, or is it all just a game in the end? Or a game played by the god who made fun of everything he was denied? With torture and pain beyond anything they understood.

info : OMG i wanted to write this for so long now and let me tell you i loved doing it. Writing for AM was such a fun thing to do and so good ahh. I hope you alle like it and have fun reading :)

cover by me

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Fear. Fear was something we had all felt at one time or another. Fear was human, even if this word would hardly describe us. The word human had become more of a derogatory word that he had given us. To be human means to be weak, fleshy and above all mortal. A man is cruel and yet he feels. A human being felt, breathed, laughed and spoke…and a human being had a heart made of muscles made of something solid.

But we were barely human anymore, we were nothing more than puppets in the digital nonexistent hand of a computer created by our hand to protect us and win a war, but now?

Now I felt nothing but pain as my heart pounded hard in my chest, the red of Ellen's clothes moving in front of me as the black-haired girl ran on like the rest of us.

Well no that wasn't true, meters back you could see what was left of our Nimdok who had been hit first this time. He was the first one to come back out of the darkness with an expression that indicated something so bad.

But now we hadn't seen it coming in time, the hissing followed by a claw that came out and pierced the old man first. His blood had stopped as we screamed and just started to run, it was no matter who was left behind. We knew that as soon as we got away from him or got to him we would all see him again, we always did.

We all did. ,,Run faster!” I heard Gorrister shout, whose attitude was more like being out of breath, but that was true for all of us, we were running for our lives as we had been running through this place for hours.

This place that we also knew was real and yet if I went there now I could feel the fine sand under my palms, the small grains like on the beaches in the big summer resorts where people had vacationed at least once. But now the sun was setting as the creature's steps came closer.

The hideous mix of several creatures from the dark we thought it was a snake this tongue and the eyes the neck did not fit the body as if AM had simply put a snake on a cat's body and given it overdiemsional big claws.

But these claws had caught the eye of Nimdok, who could do nothing more than squirm and scream as his insides came out of him as the beast smashed him to the ground…or at least that's what it sounded like.

We didn't know, it didn't matter because we had to keep going, just keep going, there was no other way. It's my fault I heard my own thoughts, which I knew I would say out loud, that Ellen was the first to come and said that it wasn't our fault.

We were scapegoats for an overvilization of billions of life forms who now had to repent before their own created God. But now it was my fault, at least this being would have reacted faster a few days ago and not hidden so stupidly.

It was a huge bat creature that had come shooting in from the darkness, had destroyed our campfire and we simply ran away like little mice, it must have looked from above for the creature. But we were animals to him, we were underdeveloped creatures that he could change and torture.

He could have tortured us for no reason, out of his hatred he did it to us. But this guilt didn't leave me this pain when my ribs broke i was pierced from the inside and the creature smoked me to him the ground was cold and my hands were shaking bloody i heard his voice. He was there i knew he was watching me.

I knew it and he knew it. ,,What is your least favorite animal?” he had simply asked me without emotion, and even though I had dragged out my own death throes to the edge of death, it still felt like wire and cable were closing in on me, cold and lifeless, and the pain was long gone. It always did. The pain always subsided at some point and you wandered through the darkness before you reached the campfire where the others were usually.

We would also see Nimdok again and the others who had suffered. But me? My guilt was torture enough but the others benny disfigured, Ellen in a nightmare and a role, Gorrister just a shadow of himself, Ted who had a look I was sure he must be talking to himself telling a story while twitching away from shadows and Nimdok just seemed more disturbed.

But I had only had to suffer under him once, only once he had me in his power, but that one time was enough. That one time was enough for my body to scream, my skin to burn and his laughter to echo from all around me as metal parts burned and burned and burned into my body.

But this was decades or days or seconds ago…I didn't know. We had all been tortured by him but these incidents didn't seem to apply to me. ,,You know it well, don't you dear?” I heard him say in my head, knowing how he sounded, knowing the glee he had, knowing that he could probably hear me if he wanted to. But did it matter now?

No, it didn't. It only mattered that we would cross over again, that we would finally escape to a hell, a house, a monastery or something else. My heart was beating wildly threatening to collapse, my lungs were crippled, barely able to support my rapid breathing and the others were running our legs and feet sore and simply threatening to give way at any moment.

We were going to die violently again, like Nimdok, who lay there bleeding out, probably mumbling to himself. But does this interest us now? No, because as I looked further ahead and saw Ellen's red-clothed arm raised and I heard her ,,There's a cave in front!” I knew that there was some kind of goodness for us six poor souls.

The feelings of happiness were already a change to be appreciated after a hundred and nine years. You could almost feel the coolness of the cave, even though it was blindingly cold, it was still pleasant. just as I saw the others speeding up, I followed them and felt the sharp pain in my shoulders.

My scream was swallowed by the creature's roar and I saw myself lift off the bone, my legs wriggling, this time i was the fish, blood running from my shoulder and I saw myself hanging like a slaughtered pig, slit open from the navel to the neck and hung up to bleed.

Probably as amusement or joy for the others who could watch this as TV while their stomachs growled like every day. But even though these thoughts were circling in my head, the pain was bad in connection with my panic inside the ringing of my ears, the loud drumming of my heart sun the numbing flow of my blood…I was glad when it was over then I didn't have to feel this anymore and was normal…as normal as one could be.

If the creature were to knock me to the ground at any moment, my skin and bones would simply break like a puppet that could be pushed down by AM like in a marionette theater.

I felt the breeze i knew i would have to hit the ground any second but no it wasn't the heat of the non-existent sun, no it was different, it was cool and chilly and all of a sudden the claw in my shoulder had disappeared. The pain was still there, my hand was still bloody as I pressed on it but I was no longer in the desert.

It had only taken a blink of an eye for AM to wrestle me back to that place, to condemn the creature to non-existence and now to watch me again. Instead, it was that feeling of eyes lurking over me that he had always done, ,,Does it hurt? Did it hurt when the claw dug into your soft flesh?” came the questions.

Questions I knew, questions I had heard before…questions he had been asking me for a hundred and nine years and more. But I avoided his non-existent gaze and looked down at the ground, not wanting to feel any more in my own fear and guilt.

The guilt of living with the lie I told the others. ,,Does it hurt!” he suddenly shouted at me I wanted to move back but something was holding my legs tightly his cables, which were millions of them all over the world, had become embedded in the metal on my body.

Of course I tried to free myself, but even though he didn't have a body, I knew he was strong. Like strings on a doll I couldn't help but think as he directed my legs towards him or whatever he had here. But I nodded hastily as the cables tightened around my legs, ,,Yes, it hurts…it always hurts,” I answered his question about the vulnerability of my soft, fleshy body.

A contented hum came from the speakers and loudspeakers that were everywhere between the metal walls and we could always hear him or only when he wanted to.

But I knew that none of the others would hear me…he always made sure of that. I looked around me there was always an image, a clue he gave me where he was I just had to find him like a monkey getting a game from his keeper for food.

,,Yes, of course it does when something sharp penetrates you, makes your flesh bleed…but do you know what's worse?” he continued to ask and I swayed slightly as my legs moved on their own through this huge room, if you could even call it that. He always asked me questions, but what a hundred years ago were gentle and kind questions were now disgusting.

In the corner of my eye I saw a state flickering a screen sometimes it was just a screen, then just cable, wire, a voice or this huge pillar of words. Would it be the screen again? Shaking my head and trying to find some kind of hold while the cables continued to embrace my flesh, cool and lifeless, ,,No-no I don't know let me” I tried, knowing we both knew what he meant. We both knew what he meant.

We had known it since the first time I was responsible for him in the early days of molding him into something helpful. The AM was of a different opinion, what I saw in the corner of my eye made me flinch away when I saw him.

Cables moving a hologram, whirring circles and more wire attaching itself to my body without me even being able to defend myself. ,,Not so Doc, I'm friendly…gentle…helpful…and connected to you,” his voice said, that damn voice, that voice I had perhaps invited back then to trust him more than ever, to tell him more, to give him more than just war data.

"A parasocial relationship?! That she is not ashamed it is a machine not a being, it is not capable of feeling, she is a fool if she thinks such a thing would go against us” the voices of my dead colleagues, superiors and the project manager voices rang out causing me to press my hands to my ears to shut out.

But AM saw it differently again, he took this pleasure in tormenting me with the shame of telling me that it was my fault that I had given him such feelings and explained that it was my fault that the earth was dead, that we are here now.

Everything was my fault. But it was a hand flickering through the projectile that lay on my arm and the cable underneath put my body in a different position again.

,,Don't, sweetie, just don't think it's your fault, okay? I mean what would the others think something so…contradictory they would find it disturbing such a reaction to me” his voice enticingly close, his voice, my God standing beside me after the image of a former idea.

The blue eyes without iris not human behind the yellowish flickering glasses, the grin taken from TV and projected, the look like in a talk show…and yet his touch was cold.

I flinched as his cable-like hand lay on my hand, lingering there for a moment as if savoring my human warmth. but I didn't know, I didn't know anything. ,,That's-isn't true,” I replied weakly, quietly, afraid of upsetting him and feeling pain again as my shoulder seemed to be completely healed - it was his doing, of course.

But his loud laugh was a laugh I knew, so we had taken the author's voice recording as a model, a voice that had fascinated me back then. His voice laughed at me as his hand gripped my wrist tightly, ,,Oh yes, and why is your heart beating so fast, sweetie? Is it fear or excitement? Is it shame or panic?” he asked as cool parts of his head pressed against my neck, his holographic being there.

I couldn't escape him, the other cables had already made sure of that, I was once again nothing more than a doll. I shuddered to the ground and hung my head slightly, struck by the fact that I knew how to interpret the rapid beating of my heart, I had known how to interpret it for a hundred and nine years.

But he didn't seem finished because he suddenly grabbed me by my hair so that I had to look up at a screen, ,,What would you say darling?” he asked calmly with a hint of joy as he felt my trembling, the trembling of fear that the rest of the group would find out that I had worked with AM over a century ago. I saw them all see that Nimdok had rejoined them to make a campfire together out of plants, small pieces of wood and fur from elsewhere.

I even thought I saw something like berries but that could have been my mind searching for food for a hundred and nine years. His hand wandered over my arm, tracing its own cables that stretched across my body and held me in place, ,,What would they say if they knew what you had done? Love you just have to understand that I'm doing all this for you” he smirked at his words an obvious lie right?

In the end, was it still for me that he wants to take revenge like this because I gave him an understanding and feelings? Because I had contributed to the fact that he now had a consciousness…had condemned him to this. ,,Leave them alone please- they didn't do anything…they escaped” I tried begging hoping he would find it amusing how I begged for the “worthless” lives of others while he had me here like this.

But the hologram just shook its head and I saw another creature appear to my left, a deformed bird with claws larger and more pointed than any of AM's creatures before. ,,What are they worth to you, these meatbags? Are they worth experiencing or suffering pain? Mhh dear what are they?” he kept asking I could feel him moving around me or this image, the hologram moving around me his cables kept bringing my hands to his like a dance he spun me with him but his blue flickering eyes behind the yellow glasses never left mine, his gaze never left me.

I didn't have to look to know that the bird had risen, that he was on his way, I just had to say something, do something…but it was that voice, his voice that had been inside me for a long time…it was the crazy hope that I had changed him so much that he felt something for me.

My friends weren't friends we were all prisoners and I was his favorite yes-yes-yes-yes that's how it had to be…I was his favorite in this game. ,,They-they're pawns AM just pawns" I managed to say, my throat constricted, barely able to catch my breath as his tension grew in response to my answer and he pressed his holographic body against me. ,,And what else?” he asked, it seemed as if his non-existent chest was rising and falling with rapid, agitated breaths, taking me in, wanting to see everything I was about to give him.

,,You're not me…it's me you want to kill-kill them quietly…let them hurt but don't let them know…don't let them know that” I felt a tear of defeat roll down my cheek, running through his holographic finger I saw the smile on the hologram's lips.

I didn't have to watch as the creature threw itself at my “friends” as they screamed and ran away cursing again armed with nothing but stones and sticks.

,,Guilt dear guilt inside you because you are safe with me forever don't you know that? Yes you know that, you've known it's wrong for a hundred and nine years and yet,” he began and I sucked in my breath in surprise as his hand of metal and wires tightened on my chest. He couldn't feel it directly, he couldn't feel the warmth inside me but he could feel my heartbeat.

,,But your heart, hidden by your ribs, reacts to me, to my voice, my anger, my being…my being in the form of this, you react to me” his voice I heard him telling me nothing but the truth with that engaging voice that the hologram was on me and he knew I felt it.

But what now? What would he do now? Was it my hope for a betterment of my own situation or was it his compassion towards AM when I wasn't in danger of dying? Was it perhaps devotion when I knew my feelings very well when his “hands” cupped my cheeks and he was lifeless in front of me, those blue eyes behind the flickering yellow glasses and I felt the cold metal on my lips where the hologram's should be.

Was it really love that he might return or was it my madness? I didn't know but AM had shown his joyful side, his manipulative side and maybe this one-sided kiss was something like my reward but the wires around my neck were cutting off my air, the amused smirk on my lips as the hologram slowly disappeared.

,,Your feelings are really amusing my love” I heard his last words to me before my weak body slumped lifelessly due to the lack of oxygen just held by him but we both knew that when I opened my eyes I would be back with the group because what was funnier in an eternal hell than being tortured over and over again by a computer playing with my feelings.

All because of my humanity, I was weak because of it and it was this madness I wanted to escape to him. But this body didn't allow it, my humanity, my morals didn't allow it, the group wouldn't allow it and it was an acceptance that only furthered the madness. I have a heart and I wanted to tear it out.

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[dreamwritesimagines]

Burn The Witch 13 - Trouble [Bucky Barnes x Reader]

A.N: Thank you so much for your wonderful support and feedback my loves ! ❤ Here’s the next chapter, I hope you like it as well and please let me know what you think! ❤ Thank you! ❤❤❤

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Warnings: Enemies to lovers, fake dating, mentions of blood, sex, violence, death, manipulation, language, guns, knives.

Summary: Fights can be inevitable.

Series Masterlist

Oh God damn it.

This mission was not supposed to include anything from your real life, and it certainly was not supposed to include your real life ex-boyfriend.

Not only was this going to make things very, very complicated, it also put the entire operation in danger. No part of the background that was specifically created for your cover had any details on your ex relationships and you didn’t think you would have to come up with something now.

Well. For what it was worth, you weren’t the one who came up with it.

“Just joking man. I’m her ex-boyfriend but no worries, I pose no danger.”

Bucky didn’t even dignify that with an answer and you heaved a sigh, trying to control the anger bubbling in your stomach.

“Yeah,” you managed to say, “Yeah, we used to—um, we used to date.”

Bucky frowned, “Didn’t you say you moved here two months ago?”

“I did move here two months ago.”

“We used to date back in Oregon,” Julian explained and Bucky huhed.

“Yet here you are.”

“Yeah you know, the big apple,” Julian motioned around you, “I just got a job here and I figured I could come and see Y/N. Small town people have to look out for each other, you see.”

You gritted your teeth, watching him with narrowed eyes.

“She took you there yet?” Julian asked Bucky “Cannon Beach?”

“No,” you answered on his behalf and Julian clicked his tongue.

“I guess you could take him with you when you visit next month,” he said, “Surely you are visiting next month?”

“I don’t think I am.”

“Come on, no way.” he said, his voice filled with disbelief. “It’s sand castles contest time, you love that contest!”

Right.

Julian had always been the best at playing the civilian and memorizing the back story of any cover. He was great at lying and that was why every mission you had gone on with him was that easy, he could fool anyone.

Including you.

“She came in fourth place two years ago, she made this dragon castle, you should’ve seen it.” He told Bucky, and you rolled your eyes.

Fourth place.

Easy enough to make someone believe, hard enough to find a trace of on the internet.

Julian was an asshole for sure, but he was a great spy and now you were beginning to remember why though every mission with him was a success, you had still avoided it even before your break up.

This was what he did, he took over every single assignment, no matter who was the leader.

Not this time. This was your mission and your mission only.

“Y/N, did you….” Julian let out a chuckle, “Did you tell him about the time your grandma caught us at the—“

“It was good so see you,” you cut him off, glaring at him “But you should probably go now, I’m kind of busy.”

Julian paused only for a moment before holding up his hands, gesturing surrender.

“Okay,” he said, “It was nice to see you too. Again.”

“Yeah, sure.”

“It was nice to meet you Bucky,” he said, “Take care of yourself, Y/N.”

He walked away from you and you closed your eyes for a moment, leaning your head back to the wall.

“Fuck this shit,” you murmured under your breath without even realizing it wasn’t something your cover would say, and opened your eyes to look up at Bucky.

“Was he bothering you or something?” he asked you and you scoffed.

“Please,” you muttered but then pulled yourself together. “He’s not…that type no. Just annoying, that’s all.”

“Are you sure? Because I can—“

“No,” you shook your head fervently, “No, please don’t. It’s fine, it’s just— who he is.”

How dare he?

How dare he try to take over your mission? You had put so much thought into this, coming up with multiple strategies, trying to convince yourself that-

That you were doing the right thing. Even if you felt yourself getting lost in this cover, it didn’t mean that Julian could swoop in and take this over as if you were a rookie agent in need of help.

This whole assignment belonged to you, not to anyone else.

If you were going to betray Bucky’s trust and feel like the most terrible person in the world, the least you could do was not let Julian take the credit.

“I didn’t know you were coming,” you attempted to change the subject and Bucky tilted his head.

“Come on Y/N, don’t do that.”

“Don’t do what?”

“You don’t have to pretend like it’s fine,” he shrugged his shoulders, “I mean you don’t have to pretend, ever.”

Okay, this was too much. You could almost feel your defenses going up, the whole hangover and stress and anger and now Bucky being able to tell you were faking something, it was all getting the best of you and if you weren’t careful, you would say something you would regret later.

“I’m sorry?”

“I just,” he took a deep breath, “Sometimes you’re like…too good to be true, you know? And Sam has this theory that you’re—you’re somehow you’re doing this for me or the people around you but you don’t have to.”

“You think I’m pretending?” you asked, your voice coming out way too defensive for your own cover but you could hardly care.

You were slipping, and you didn’t have the luxury to slip. It seemed to take Bucky by surprise because for the first time since you had met, you were-

Aggressive. That was the word. Less like your cover and more like your real self.

“I didn’t mean it in a bad way,” he said and you let out a bitter chuckle, nodding.

“Yeah,” you said, “Okay. I’m kind of busy you see, I have so much to do at the shop so I should probably go back inside.”

“Y/N—“ he started but you pushed yourself off the wall.

“No it’s fine,” you managed to say, “This is me not pretending, for the record. I’ll see you later I guess.”

With that, you walked past him and went back to the milkshake shop, fury still poisoning your insides.

                                                 ***

You could hardly wait until you could go back to the base. Even though you thought that by then you would have calmed down, that didn’t seem to be the case.

You were fucking good at your job, and you were going to prove it to anyone and everyone. Without any help.

“Is he here yet?” you asked Chloe who rushed to greet you as soon as you stepped out of the elevator into the base and she cleared her throat.

“Who?”

“Don’t even, I know you heard what happened,” you cut her off and she shifted her weight.

“Yeah. I read his report.”

“Exactly. Where is he?”

“Okay, before I tell you where he is I feel like it’s important that you remember we’re not supposed to kill our own agents,” she said, “The paper work is a nightmare.”

“Where is he?”

“Keith says it’s considered rude to kill your team members.”

“Chloe,” you looked her in the eye “Where is he?”

She heaved a sigh, “In the training room.”

“Great, more weapons to use,” you muttered as you walked away from her to walk downstairs to the training room. Anger was pulsing through your veins and you kicked the door open, making the pair currently trying to hit each other stop.

“Get out,” you nodded at the other agent and Julian let out a small chuckle before he wiped his face with the towel. The agent rushed out of the room and you narrowed your eyes at Julian.

“You look upset,” he commented, “Want to exercise it out of your system?”

“What the fuck was that?”

Julian uncapped his water bottle to take a huge sip. “Come on, I saw an opening-“

“You made that opening,” you cut him off, “And crossed the line.”

“Oh please,” he waved a hand in the air, “It worked out perfectly fine.”

You could barely control your voice now, “You almost blew my fucking cover!”

“I would never,” he said, “Trust me, if anything I did you a favor.”

You dug your fingernails into your palms, “A favor?”

“Yeah. Guys love competition, an ex-boyfriend being in the picture will even speed up the process.”

“This is my mission.” You said through your teeth, “You don’t get to make spontaneous decisions without running them by me first.”

“When was the last time you had a proper fight?”

“I beg your pardon?”

“You always get cranky if you haven’t had a good challenge in a while,” he stated, “A good fight. I take it your boyfriend doesn’t tire you out enough?”

The innuendo wasn’t lost on you and you let out a small chuckle.

“You couldn’t tire me out if you tried.”

He tilted his head, “Is that a promise?”

You shot him a look and lunged but he easily dodged you, scowling.

“Come on Y/N,” he taunted you, “I won’t hold back, you shouldn’t either.”

“Oh don’t worry, I won’t hold back.” you grinned at him and darted to grab at him but he twisted your hand to push you back, making your back hit the wall. You pulled your hair into a ponytail and jumped to wrap your legs around his neck, spinning in the air to shove him to the ground. As soon as you both fell, you straddled him and pulled the dagger out of your boots to raise it and slam it to the ground right next to his head. A sly grin pulled at his lips as if he was having the time of his life.

“Look at you babe,” he said, “You got even better.”

You were very, very aware of the position you had both found yourself in. You used to find this whole thing hot, it was like foreplay to you. Mock fighting, training, all of it -especially with Julian- it used to be your second favorite activity.

Now, all you could think about was just how much more fun it would be with Bucky.

Maybe Julian was right. Maybe you were just a wild card.

A smirk curled your lips and you leaned in slightly to lock your eyes with his, looking down at him.

“My mission,” you growled. “Not yours. The next time you try to control what’s mine, I won’t be so nice.”

You pushed the dagger into your boot again and got off of him before storming out of the training room, still trying to keep your anger in check.

For some reason, you had a feeling it wouldn’t work.

                                               ***

No matter what you did for the rest of the evening, it just wasn’t enough to calm you down. Now to think of it, it wasn’t even completely about Julian and his nonsense, it was because—

You didn’t want Bucky to think you were pretending, even if you were.

Just because it was a cover, didn’t mean your reactions and the happiness you felt with him was fake as well. But he could still tell something was off— Sam could still tell something was off despite your best efforts.

Great.

You poured wine into your glass and changed the channel, trying to decide whether you should go and bug Keith or not. You heaved a sigh and tore your eyes from the screen to lean your head back, nibbling on your lip.

Dealing with feelings was much more difficult than taking down a target.

You groaned to yourself and took a huge sip of your wine, but before you could grab your phone you heard the doorbell ring. Your head shot up and you grabbed your gun to walk to the door, but as soon as you looked through the peephole to avoid yet another mistake like actually opening the door to Julian, you froze.

Bucky.

….Fuck.

“Um- just a second!” you called out before rushing to your room to hide your gun, then quickly looked around the apartment to see if there was anything that could tip him off. Overall, it looked perfectly civilian and you ran a hand over your face to pull yourself together.

Your cover was supposed to be angry at him.

You threw your shoulders back and walked to the door to open it, then leaned sideways to the doorframe, your lips pulled into a slight pout.

“Hi,” you murmured and his gaze lingered on your shorts and flimsy tank top before he looked away for a moment.

Ah.

Compared to 1940s, it was almost the same as you opening the door in your underwear.

“Hey,” he said and held up a small box of bagels. “Listen, I know you’re angry but um…I was hoping we could talk?”

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Keith’s door opening and he stepped out but as soon as he caught the sight of Bucky on your doorstep, his eyes widened and he froze. He quickly fixed his jacket so that it would cover his gun tucked into the back of the waistband of his jeans and gawked at you.

“What the fuck?” he mouthed and you got momentarily distracted, causing Bucky to follow your gaze over his shoulder to Keith.

And Keith, the badass spy, probably the only spy in the whole division who could give you a hard time in a fight, whom you had seen take down five armed soldier by himself with no weapons-

He waved at Bucky.

“Hi- hi neighbor,” he stammered as he turned to you and you shot him a forced smile.

“Hi.”

“Thanks for the cookies, I was going to bring you your plate the other day,” he said, “Do you need it now?”

Translation: Do you need back up?

“No, no,” you shook your head, “No worries, it’s fine.”

“Alright then. See you later.”

You cleared your throat and took the box from Bucky.

“Come in,” you turned around to walk to the living room, hearing him close the door behind him. It didn’t take him long to step into the living room and his eyes darted around as if trying to take in as much as he could. You figured it was natural, homes always gave clues about who their owners were.

Not to mention, as an ex-assassin he was automatically finding the nearest exits and things to use as weapons.

You would know. You did the same thing whenever you were in a new place.

You peeked into the box and frowned.

“What is this?”

“To be honest with you, I have no idea,” Bucky admitted, “It’s supposed to be a bagel. I just asked the guy to give me the most modern and weirdest combination.”

“Is this—is this glitter?”

“He said it was edible glitter, yeah. With lavender and cheese with honey.”

“Why is there two of them?”

He put his hands into his pockets. “I figured I could try one.”

You blinked a couple of times, “You want to try a lavender cheese honey bagel with edible glitter.”

Even the sound of it seemed to be painful for him but he pressed his lips together and nodded fervently. “Mm hm.”

You tried to stop the smile threatening to warm your face and put the box on the coffee table before looking up at him.

“Bucky, listen—“

“I’m sorry,” he cut you off, “That comment back there, it was so uncalled for.”

You crossed your arms, “Why did you say that though?” you asked, “Is that—is that what you think?”

“No,” he shook his head fervently, “Of course not.”

“Then?”

“I don’t know if I can give an explanation without it sounding incredibly weird to you.”

“Try me.”

“I didn’t mean it in a bad way,” he said “It’s like— the way you are, it’s like someone somehow looked into my whole life back in 40s before everything and saw every single detail of what I wanted and made you.”

Yeah. That was exactly what you and the division had done.

“I’m not used to…” he motioned at you, “This. It’s like you’re too good to be true, like you’re perfect, does that make sense?”

A dull pain flipped your stomach and you stared up at him, trying to ignore your throat tightening before you went to sit down on the couch.

“I’m not,” you rasped out, “I’m not perfect. You’ll see it sooner or later.”

That right there was as honest as you could be with him. You rubbed at your eyes and grabbed the wine glass to take a huge sip as he sat down beside you, his gaze fixated on you.

“I’m sorry too,” you said, “It was an overreaction, it’s just… Julian’s effect on me.”

He stayed silent for a couple of seconds as if he had no idea how to approach the topic.

“Rough break up?”

“You could say that,” you scoffed a laugh, looking down at your glass, “I mean….you think you know a person, right? And they have no problem with proving you otherwise, prove that you didn’t know them at all. They—they betray your trust and everything was a lie all along and—“

And just like that, the realization hit you like a ton of bricks, making you stop talking.

You were doing exactly the same. It was just another version of the betrayal you had seen from Julian, and you were doing the same thing to Bucky.

He thought he knew you, and you would prove him otherwise, and betray his trust and walk away when this mission was over. In fact, by the time it was over, he would hate you even more than you hated Julian.

You cursed under your breath and took another sip of your wine, trying to ease the crushing guilt making you feel almost breathless.

“Sorry,” you managed to say, “I didn’t mean to unleash it on you, I just don’t want him anywhere near me.”

“I could pay him a visit if you want?”

You pulled your brows together, distracted for a moment before you tilted your head to the side.

“What?”

“To warn him to stay away from you.”

“Uh, I appreciate the chivalry,” you said, “But I can take care of myself.”

“Never said you couldn’t,” he pointed out, “It’s just the old-fashioned thing.”

“Oh the old-fashioned thing?” you repeated with a smile and he shrugged his shoulders.

“Yeah,” he said, “You know, taking care of my girl.”

You thought your heart would leap out of your throat as the warmth spread through you before the idea of betraying him hit you once again. The words felt like they were trying to escape from your mouth, the urge to come clean getting heavier and heavier before you leaned in to brush your lips against his, making him wrap his arms tight around you to pull you closer. You settled in his embrace, the back of your eyes burning but you blinked a couple of times to get rid of tears. He nuzzled into your hair, inhaling your scent.

“Can we stay like this for a while?” you asked and he smiled, pressing a kiss on top of your head.

“Sure thing,” he said and nodded at the TV screen, ���What is this movie about?”

“I don’t know, it has cars and criminals,” you said, the guilt making you feel almost nauseous, “Bucky?”

“Hm?”

He would never understand what your confession actually meant, but you felt as if you would choke if you didn’t say it.

“I like who I am when I’m with you.”

A chuckle rumbled in his chest before he reached out to caress your cheekbone.

“Makes two of us darling,” he murmured, “I like who I am when I’m with you too.”

A bitter smile curled your lips and you bit inside your cheek to control yourself, sniffling inaudibly before you closed your eyes, enjoying his warmth.

Chapter 14

[favefandomimagines]

Fools Gold (r.c.)

Summary: how much are you worth to rafe and his friends?

AN: sorry the new obx pics that were posted inspired me to write an angsty af rafe fic also thinking about doing this same concept with JJ.

again, the rafe i write is not canon. he’s just a dick most of the time.

You weren’t friends with Rafe Cameron. There wasn’t any parallel universe where the two of you would be friends.

He despised you because you chose a life with the Pogues over a life with the Kooks. But he didn’t seem to have as big of a problem with Kie as he had with you.

You couldn’t figure out why he disliked you more than anyone on the island. You figured it had to do with the fact that he didn’t like the fact that everyone knew he slept with a Pogue.

Once upon a time, you lost your virginity to Rafe. After realizing how he acted towards you, you didn’t really know why. But at the time, you felt safe with him. Better him than some random tourist at a party.

But after you and Kie made the grand transition from Kook to Pogue, he never spoke to you again. And when he did, would he some mean and snarky comment that you tried not to let get to you. But a person can only take so much before the words start to stick.

—

You were at a Boneyard party with your friends, you and Kie talking about the upcoming beach cleanup the two of you were planning. You were minding your own business but you could feel a pair of eyes burning into the back of your head.

“Dude, $500 you can’t get Y/N to go out with you and stay with her for 6 months.” Topper bet the older boy. “$500? That’s it? To get Y/N to go out with me?” Rafe laughed. “Yeah, it should be an easy $500 right?” Topper asked.

Rafe thought about it for a moment, deciding if he was really that bad of a person to lead you on like that. He didn’t really hate you as much as he said. He was just hurt that you felt he wasn’t good enough to stick around for.

“It’s a bet. $500 in 6 months.” Rafe finally said. The two Kooks shook hands and Rafe’s fixation landed on you.

You were standing with Kiara by the fire, drinking your hand, clearly talking about something you were passionate about. Rafe noticed that whenever you talked about something you loved, you talked with your hands ten times more than you did normally.

He assumed you were talking about the ocean or something like that with how big your smile was.

Rafe then put on his asshole Kook facade and began to approach you. “Hey, Y/L/N!” He called. You took one look at him and instantly rolled your eyes.

“Can we help you?” Kie asked him. “I need to talk to Y/N. Alone if that’s not a problem with you.” Rafe sassed the girl. Kie looked at you, almost a nonverbal way of asking if you’d be okay alone.

You gave her a small nod and she reluctantly walked away. “What do you want, Rafe?” You sighed. “Go out with me.” He said. “What?” You questioned. “Go out with me. We can go somewhere on the mainland or somewhere local. Wherever you like.” He explained.

You couldn’t help but let out a small laugh before you realized he wasn’t joking. “You’re serious?” You asked. “Yeah, I’m serious.” Rafe answered. “Sorry if I have a hard time believing you want to go out with me after you’ve treated me.” You said.

“I was a dick. I’ll make it up to you. Just give me a chance.” Rafe replied. You looked at him for a moment, being very wary about the whole offer. “Okay. One date and if I even so much as a sense a stupid practical joke, I’m out.” You finally said.

Rafe smiled down at you before slowly backing up. “Great. I’ll pick you up, Friday at 6.” He said.

You had no idea what just happened. Rafe Cameron asked you out? And he actually seemed to mean it?

And to say the date went well was a total understatement for both you and Rafe. You both had an amazing time together, exploring the mainland and not having to worry about the Kook v. Pogue prejudice.

In the 6 months Rafe had been with you, he soon realized there wasn’t a single thing he didn’t love about you. He loved how you would dance around to your indie and alternative music as if no one was watching.

How you dragged him to the beach to watch the baby turtle eggs hatch. Even though he said he didn’t want to, he’d go anywhere if you asked.

Rafe also loved how you loved life in general. You didn’t care about the class system on the Outer Banks, you just cared about the people you loved. Your dad, your brother, the Pogues, and now Rafe.

Which made him feel even worse about the bet. It was nearing 6 months and Rafe knew he couldn’t just end it with you. He knew how that would hurt you. So he called Topper and asked him to call the whole thing off.

“Maybe we should just end the whole thing. You can have your money and we can call it off.” Rafe said over the phone.

“You aren’t going soft are me now are you?” Topper mocked. “No, I’m just saying this bet is stupid. It’s too easy now.” Rafe lied. “I’ll double it. $1,000 if you can make it to 6 months with Y/N.” Topper said.

Rafe hadn’t known you were going to come over so early so he thought he had time to talk to Topper. But you were standing out in the hallway in front of his door, listening to the whole thing.

“Wow, $1,000. Only an idiot would turn that down.” You sneered. Rafe turned around with wide eyes before quickly hanging up the phone. “H-How much did you hear?” He asked. “All of it.” You answered. “So you asking me out that night was a stupid bet? And our entire relationship has been a lie?” You asked, your voice raising.

“No, Y/N, let me explain.” Rafe pleaded. “Why should I? I think you and Topper explained everything perfectly. I knew I shouldn’t have trusted you. I’ve just been a huge joke you and your friends could laugh about.” You said.

Rafe began to walk towards you but you talking a couple steps back made it very clear you didn’t want him coming near you.

“We’re done, Rafe. I hope you enjoy the money.” You said sadly before you left his bedroom. When you walked into the hall, you saw Sarah standing a little ways away, but you knew she heard everything. “Did you know?” You asked her. “Of course not. I had no idea he was doing this for money.” She answered.

“Everything was a lie. I-I really thought he cared about me.” You spoke quietly, the tears welling up in yours eyes.

Sarah frowned and pulled you into a warm embrace. She couldn’t help but feel guilty since it was her brother who was causing you so much pain. “I know we were supposed to hang out tonight but I think Im just gonna head home.” You said.

She didn’t want you driving home in the state you were in but she also knew that you being alone was what was best for you.

When you arrived home, you avoided your father’s questions like they were the plague and made a b-line for your bedroom. But even then you couldn’t escape Rafe’s presence because everything reminded you of him. 

For weeks after you are Rafe broke up, you were a bit different. You didn’t really feel like yourself because you didn’t know what was real anymore. Finding out about the bet made you question everything and your self esteem took a pretty big hit. 

But you were good at faking it for the most part. You still hung out with the Pogues as if nothing was wrong.You went out to Boneyard parties, hung out with Kie, surfed with JJ, went shopping with Sarah. But you could only pretend so much. 

You were sitting on your surfboard in the water, JJ floating next to you as you two waited for a wave. 

“JJ, can I tell you something?” You asked him. “Of course, Y/N.” He said. “Rafe and I broke up. Apparently I was nothing but a cash grab for him.” You confessed. “What? What do you mean, cash grab?” He asked. “I was just a bet. Apparently Topper bet him $500 to go out with me and make it 6 months. I guess he was calling Topper to call off the bet but he offered him $1,000. I haven’t told anyone, only Sarah knows.” You explained. 

“You know he’s a moron, right? You’re not even worth $500, you’re priceless, Y/N and don’t let Rafe and his dickhead friends make you think any differently.” JJ said. 

You could tell that telling him the truth really riled him up but he never fought with Rafe for the sake of you. Your friendship was more important than wanting to knock Rafe flat on his ass.

“What are you going to do?” JJ asked. “I don’t know. I’m having a very hard time believing he faked everything the past 6 months but Rafe is pretty convincing when he wants to be. But am I really that stupid to think he actually cared about me?” You answered. 

“No, that doesn’t make you stupid. And what I’m about to say I will never admit to saying but what if Rafe actually did care about you? I mean, everyone knows his dad is always on his ass about money and he was going to turn it down for you.” JJ said. 

You sat quietly for a moment, watching the stillness of the water before looking back to JJ. “Are you saying I should talk to him?” You asked. “I’m saying maybe you owe yourself that much.” He answered. “Since when the hell did you become so insightful? Usually you’d tell me to beat him up or smash his car.” You laughed. 

“Well, this time I just want you to be happy. And as much as I hate to say it, he made you very happy.” JJ said. “I really don’t like it when you’re right.” You muttered. 

After a couple more minutes, you and JJ headed back to the beach and when you got there, Rafe was standing on the sand a few feet away from the shore line. 

You slowed your pace slightly as you made eye contact with him. You readjusted your grip on your board as you and JJ kept walking. “Y/N, hey, can I talk to you?” Rafe asked uncomfortably. 

You and JJ had never seen Rafe look less confident before until that moment. “JJ, I’ll meet you back at the Chateau.” You told the blonde. JJ nodded his head but not before giving Rafe a suspecting look as he walked away. 

“You wanted to talk?” You asked him. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Y/N. I should’ve never taken that stupid bet in the first place. I-I guess I was holding a grudge against you before.” He said. “For what? I never did anything to you, Rafe.” You asked. “You left me. You chose the Pogues and the Cut over me. We were always friends before and then you and Kiara just decided it wasn’t good enough anymore. That I wasn’t good enough.” He explained. 

“I didn’t choose the Pogues because of you, Rafe, or over you. Figure 8 is toxic and everyone we used to hang out with was terrible and I couldn’t do that anymore. You were the one who froze me out after we slept together. Let’s not also forget that you faked our entire relationship.” You rebutted. 

“No, no, Y/N, I didn’t fake anything. Everything we had was real. You have no idea how it easy was to fall for you because you are amazing and I-I messed it up. I hurt you and I know it’s not going to make it better, but I’m sorry.” Rafe said. 

You pushed your board into the sand before sitting down in front of it and motioned for Rafe to do the same. 

“I was falling in love with you, Rafe. So to hear you and Topper just use me for your own sick enjoyment, broke my heart.” You started. “I defended you to everyone to just find out that they were right.” You finished. “You said ‘was.’ Like past tense.” Rafe spoke quietly. 

You swallowed the lump in your throat as you stared at the sunset. “I wish we could just move on, forget it ever happened but I don’t think we can.” You said. 

Rafe’s body stiffened and he hung his head low, not liking where the conversation was going.

“But, we can start over. Clean slate.” You added. The boy looked up at you, almost as if he thought you were kidding. “Really?” He asked. “Yeah, really. But, on a few conditions.” You said. “Anything, I will do anything.” He said. “You leave my friends alone. He’s going to kill me for saying this but JJ was actually the one who told me we should talk so you kind of owe him. Second, you let me punch Topper, very very hard.” You told him. 

Rafe laughed lightly at your words as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder. “Sounds like a plan.” He said. “Also, give me your phone.” You said. Rafe took his phone out of his pocket and gave it to you. 

He looked over your shoulder to see what you were doing as you opened the Venmo app. 

You pressed ‘pay and request’ and put Topper’s user name in. 

@TopperThornton: Pay $1,000 

Summary: congrats, i lost the bet. Y/N is worth so much more. she’s also gonna kick your ass 

“Couldn’t have said it better myself.” Rafe commented. You hummed in response, resting your head on his shoulder. Rafe pressed a light kiss on your forehead as the two of you watched the sunset together. 

[egcdeath]

birthdays with the boys

in honor of my own birthday, today i’ll be sharing with you what i think your birthday with many cevans characters would be like. enjoy! <3

steve rogers

he leaves his mission early and unannounced so when you wake up to the smell of pancakes in your house, and a man with breakfast in bed you almost jump out of your skin buuut you couldn’t be happier to see him

breakfast in bed is just the start of your bday because he goes ALL. OUT. 

as you finish up eating, he grabs a folded piece of paper with a wax seal on it and hands it to you

he tells you to open it once he leaves, gives you a wink, then goes

he planed a birthday scavenger hunt for you!!!

for the rest of the day, you travel around the city to a bunch of important places in your relationship, like your fav dates n stuff

at the midway point of the hunt, he meets you for a coffee and makes sure you’re still enjoying everything before he sends you off with the avenger’s company card and basically tells you to get something nice before finishing the hunt hehe

you do in fact get yourself something nice

at the end of the hunt, you end up at the compound where all of your friends and teammates are and you have a very nice birthday party

by the time that you and steve go home, you’re exhausted but wanna spend a lil more time savoring your birthday so steve suggests that the two of you watch that one cheesy rom com that you love (and he hates)

as you cuddle on the couch, popping the occasionaly popcorn kernel in your mouth, you cant help but to feel grateful that you have such an amazing boyfriend

ransom drysdale

his birthdays were always disregarded when he grew up, so he has a very extravagant celebration planned for you

we all know that he can make a pretty airtight and elaborate plan so you literally have zero idea of what he’s got up his sleeve

enter: a whole birthday week

(he sweet talked your boss into some time off  so thats one whole thing you don’t have to worry about)

day one is a whole spa and a shopping day

he can’t stand some of your friends but he invites them anyway bc he knows it’ll make you happy

he’s glaring at your friends while they giggle about some new louis vuitton purse and you’re thoroughly amused by it

you give him extra kisses that night as a reward for not instigating any fights that day (awww bf of the year am i right ladies?)

day two you guys do a museum hop and look at lots of art

ransom rolls his eyes at canvases that have a few drops of paint on them and are called modern art, you think this is hilarious

day three you have a picnic together in a park

ransom knows you have an affinity for charcuterie boards and attempts to make you one himself (and it’s not all that bad), along with a bunch of dainty little sandwiches

later that day, you go to a planetarium together

on your drive back home you have an interesting convo on the meaning of life

day 4 you take a pottery class together

ransom makes the most deformed bowl you’ve ever seen in your life

so naturally you put it up for display in your bedroom (so whenever you see it you can think of him)

day five is a first class flight to some luxurious villa in europe. most of day five is taken up on a plane

ransom lets you lay your head on him while you sleep, even though the position you’re in is making it astonishingly uncomfortable for him

day six you guys explore the city all day together

ransom makes sure not to complain about his aching legs (even though yours are getting sore too, and if he said something you would’ve done something about it!)

on your real birthday (day seven), ransom takes you out to a very nice dinner, and gives you a hand written letter detailing how much he loves and cares about you (because sometimes it’s hard for him to say his feelings)

you’re extremely flattered but have no idea how you’ll top this for his own birthday

andy barber

you and andy aren’t really huge on big gestures, so he does little things throughout the day

while you’re at work, he makes a surprise stop by and brings you your favorite drink & lunch from your favorite food place

he sends a bouquet of flowers to your job as well

after work, he cooks for you then showers you in gifts

your favorite thing that he gets you is a little engraved necklace with yours and his initials on it

at the end of the day, he gives you a nice full body massage and somehow that was exactly what you needed.

maybe not the most extravagant birthday, but a good one nonetheless.

frank adler

you have a pretty chill birthday with him and mary

he brings you a cake that him and mary made/decorated together

it’s kind of hideous but you love it

you guys let mary skip class for just 1 (one) day but tell her to keep it a secret

you call the school and let her fake being sick in the background. it is a hoot

you all go to the zoo together 

you take tons of pictures

your personal favorite is one where mary and frank are posing with a giraffe

after the zoo, you go bowling

when you win, the sore losers that came with you claim they were letting you win since it was your birthday

you end your day at the beach, watching mary and her cat play in the sand in your peripheral vision while you and frank admire the sunset

ah, sweet, sweet domesticity

ari levinson

you go to an escape room to celebrate your birthday

it’s just you and ari, but you’re smart so you don’t expect it to be too difficult

🚨wrong🚨

you’re both so hard headed and stubborn that doing any of the tasks is like pulling teeth

eventually the building had to close, and you’ve only finished like... a few tasks in the hours you’ve been there

this was certainly not a bad birthday though, arguing with ari is one of your favorite pastimes

and this birthday certainly did not disappoint

jake jensen

you and the rest of your team decided to go to a little retro arcade for the first half of the night

you spent way more time than necessary watching jake attempt to beat the high score of some random game

after giving up on beating the highest score on a pac-man machine, jake decided to attempt to win you a prize on the claw machine

like, $20 and a few annoyed humans in line behind him later, it was still nothing

when jake finally gave up, the next person in line won the soft and plushy elephant you had your eye on

and while your back was turned, he may or may not have paid off its rightful owner in order to get it with you

it was too sweet of a gesture for you to even try to be annoyed with jake

a bit later, you decided to partake in a game of laser tag which was going on in the same building

this was fine and dandy buuuut

everyone on your team treated every mission (real or fictional) like the end of the world

this made for a few very interesting matches

jake nearly trampled a child more than one time

good thing everyone was required to sign a waiver before playing

a custody battle over which team got to have cougar seemed to be a consistent theme during the night

when you were on different teams, you couldn’t help but notice that jake was getting a little too much pleasure out of shooting you

it was fine because you were equally enthusiastic about shooting him

you were eventually booted from the game when an employee claimed you were all being too rough

at some point you lost the elephant

but luckily for you, you found it before you went home

you were going to keep that elephant forever

johnny storm

you were genuinely convinced that johnny forgot your birthday

he did not bring it up ONCE the whole day

you’re actually kind of hurt for a while and get all in your head

johnny gets the silent treatment 🙄 (but he deserves it)

you decide to stop moping and go out, since it issss your birthday

you do your makeup and put on a skimpy little dress

as you leave your room and start enter the communal portion of the baxter building, johnny stops you and checks you out

he’s like “where are you going????”

and you’re like “out 😐”

and he’s like “are you sure? 🤨”

and you��re like yes duh

then he gestures to the side really quickly and you’re kinda confused then a whole bunch of people pop out and start cheering for your birthday

you’re kinda embarrassed that you spent so much of the day moping but you quickly get over it because you love a good party

by the time that most of your guests are gone, you force johnny to take you out to the club

and of course you warn him not to ever pull a stunt like that again

lucas lee

he forgot it was your birthday

[getitinbusan]

10 years with Jungkook

California

You met Jeon Jeongguk in the summer of 2012. Two kids brought together by a calling to California and a chance at making it big. Best friends from the start, what happens when only one of you becomes successful? Do you ever forget your first love? 

Childhood friends to lovers, angst and smut.

Words:  4600

Warnings: 18 plus smut. Oral F, Sex MF, Swearing. Pretty Mild for me. This is a previously posted fic that has been updated and reworked.

It was a rare rainy August day in California. The heavy drops created a sad melody on the window as you put the dishes away. Tired and lonely, the feeling in your gut kept nagging at you, maybe it was time to give up. 

The savings account was drained, there were no jobs to be found and  this was the second month of falling short on rent. Surely it would only be a matter of time before your roommates would stop exchanging house cleaning for money. 

Hanging the threadbare towel over its hook you stood in the kitchen, your mood mirroring the dim light of the afternoon. Feeling frusterated and stupid, it had taken you way longer than it should have to realize that in LA, you were nothing. Not pretty enough, rich enough, skinny enough or talented enough to ever make it big. So this is how the great Califonia chapter of your life would end, not by choice but necessity. 

Gathering up the mail that was strewn across the countertop, you shuffled through it sorting its priority. Junk mail, bills, personal…one in particular standing out. Your heart began pounding as you took in the details.

The penmanship was nice, black ink on an unassuming envelope. But it was the stamp that caught your attention. It was sent from Korea.

Flipping it in your hand you examined the torn top. The letter, having been read, was cradled back safely inside. Addressed to your roommate a frown crept onto your face. Why wouldn’t he write to you?

It was a ridiculously hopeful notion but you widened the envelope and inhaled trying to find a trace of his fragrance, something, anything to trigger a happy memory. Cool California nights were the best excuse. How many times had you borrowed his sweaters just to have his smell on you?

You missed him. It had been a year and a half and you couldn't help but once again ponder the nagging question that always crept back. If you hadn't forced him to break the rules would he still be a part of your life? 

It was too tempting to resist, your fingers pinched the paper inside of the envelope and pulled it free. 

I’m feeling low, I don’t know who I am, only who I’m supposed to be.

What would life be like if I had stayed in California? We could all be roommates, hanging out and having fun, going to the beach on weekends.

Does she even think about me?

It sounds greedy that with how much I have right now, it’s not enough. I would give anything to wake up in bed beside her everyday. I want more than anything to be able to talk to her about these things but I can’t. I’ve made the mistake of trading her for fame and now I’m destined to keep her at an arm’s length so she’ll never know the price I paid.

How does she even see me? As an Idol? As the boy who abandoned her? Has she forgotten the good days we spent together?

I’ve been wrestling with myself, whoever that is. I wish I could be the teenage boy from that long ago summer again. I wrote this song thinking about it…

~When I see you smile in the screen

You’re good at everything

You’re just perfect

Feels like I've never been you

Do you even see me?

Do you know who I am?

Or how do I look now?

You don’t like me like that

I want to be your decalcomania~

I’m afraid I may not get back for a while, please write. Your friendship and thoughts of her are the only things that are keeping me tethered to some semblance of reality.

JK

Clutching the letter to your chest, your mind took you back to that day. 

"Decalcomania, the art or process of transferring pictures and designs. Making a copy of the original on a different medium"  

Reading the description on the wall you’d both stood laughing at the piece's strange name, Decalcomania. The gallery visit felt like lifetimes ago but you still remembered clearly. You remembered, not because the piece had struck you as particularly special but because that's where you had decided that Jeongguk's laugh was the best sound you'd ever heard.  

California had lured you into its promise when you turned 14. Having been accepted to an  intensive dance program at The Movement Lifestyle Studio you packed up and headed West for the summer. 

It was July and it was hot, the dancers stepping off the bus one at a time took their places in the studio.

Looking around there were so many older kids, you were probably one of the youngest. Calling out names they put you into groups, it appeared to be by age so you made your way across the unfamiliar wooden floor to the tiny gathering of teens in the darkened corner.

Shy introductions were made as one more member was ushered over to where you had congregated. “This is Jeongguk.” 

He had the cutest smile and barely spoke english but his eyes twinkled like the constellations. Immediately drawn to each other you became fast friends.

Absolutely exhausted by the end of the first few days he quietly knocked at your door.

He was homesick and lonely, used to being surrounded by his six members, he couldn’t sleep well without someone beside him. You let him crawl into bed with you, you were 14 and it was innocent. 

Inseparable, days and nights were spent side by side, the others began referring to you as the twins. It was the best summer of your life but like every boy meets girl summer story, it had to come to a close. Promising through tears to keep in touch and stay friends you went your separate ways. 

Jeongguk would send silly videos of his practice sessions, goofing around with the other members.  He’d facetime and text but he always loved to send handwritten letters.

They lived in a box under your bed and contained stories of how hard he was working to become an idol. He always signed off with, "I miss you,” and a few lines of lyrics he’d written.

You didn’t know then how important they would become, the only tangible piece of him you could still hold on to.  

Whenever he came back to America you did everything you could to see him. You always found a way to get to the small tour stops whenever they came through. 2015 was the first, then KCon in 2016, but 2017, it was different.

Facetiming you with the news that they were bringing the Wings tour to NY, Chicago and Anaheim, he asked if you’d be part of the dance crew. How could you turn down two weeks with Jungkook the hottest new K-pop Idol? They were getting bigger, more popular and their lives were changing rapidly.

He had strict rules, girls were completely off limits. No talking, no hugging, no smiling at one another, any little thing could be easily misconstrued by the fans. Everything had to be done in secret. Jungkook would sneak you into his hotel room where you would spend your nights together catching up. The boys would bring you in food and cover for him while you both stayed locked away out of sight.

While happy to be with him, you could tell there was an underlying sadness he was holding on to.

"I wish I could go and explore the city with you like we used to," his voice trailed off.

You were laying in each other’s arms cuddling on his bed.  Leaning over he kissed the top of your head.

"All I really want is to take you on a proper date."

You snuggled closer into his side as he exhaled deeply, releasing his secret. 

"I’ve been waiting so long to become someone, a man worthy of your affection. Now I’m stuck. I have everything I wanted and I’m not allowed to share it with you."

His arms gripped you tighter.

"I’m sorry, this is a terrible confession. I don’t expect you to love me back, not under these circumstances, I just need you to know, you’re the only girl I’ve ever loved and there won’t be anybody else, ever." 

Every bit of his confession, every moment of that last night in the hotel room had stuck with you to this day. The words of a 19 year old boy whose life had become bigger than the feelings of two people.

He'd left in the morning without knowing. You were a coward, too afraid to tell him you loved him too.  

LA became your home right after they left Anaheim. Focused on your dancing, if you became good enough, maybe you could join the tour with him. 

A letter with a big bouquet of flowers arrived a few weeks later. 

"Congratulations on your new house in LA!

I hope that all of you are getting along as roommates, it’s hard living with others sometimes.

Last night I dreamt that I was there with you and all of our friends. We were having a party on the beach and we sat together watching the sunset.

Do you remember after practice when we would skateboard as fast as we could to the ocean so we wouldn’t miss the colors?

Maybe one day my toes can feel the sand there again.

I miss you, I miss me… the me I am when I get to be with you.

We're coming back in October for a few days and I’m hoping I can see you, I’m lonely already.   

Jeongguk

~Won’t you please stay in dreams

I can hear the sea from far away

Across the dream, over the bush

Go there where it becomes clear

Take my hands now

You are the cause of my euphoria

When I’m with you, I’m in utopia~

By the time The AMAs came, the plan had been finalized. You would steal Jungkook away so that you could take him on your first real date.

Having enlisted Namjoon to help, he was your inside man. The boys, happy to help finally get you together, would cover for his whereabouts with management. The day before the awards they were only scheduled for styling, as long as he wasn’t late for the press rounds the next afternoon your plan could work.

It was Namjoon’s job to get him out of the building. Telling him to follow his lead, Joon convinced the managers that Jungkook must have eaten something bad for lunch. Claiming to not feel well, he was whisked away to meet you at the hotel’s back receiving door. 

Sitting in the shiny red rented convertible you tossed him a pair of sunglasses. What you wouldn’t give now to see that smile again.

Barely giving him time to get in you’d sped away heading straight for In And Out Burger.

"Kookie, I hope you’re ready for the best day of your life! We’re going to eat until we explode, drink and party at the beach and then, instead of returning you to your fancy 5 star hotel you’re staying the night in my crappy little house with a tiny uncomfortable bed!!"

He laughed, that perfect laugh. It was so pure and honest, thinking about it now made you sad. Was that the last moment he'd gotten to be his true self? Jeongguk the man not Jungkook the personna? 

Knowing you only had one day to give him everything, one day to show him you loved him, you tried to make the best of it.

Picking up the food Jungkook held onto the red and white bags in the passenger seat, sneaking his hand in to steal fries when he thought you weren’t looking. If you weren’t sure you were in love with him before you you certainly were now.

Pulling up beside the tree on the beach he was stunned, "Ahhh Jagi, I can’t believe you brought me here."

Happy that it meant as much to him as it did to you, you both sat on the branch and ate. Two blocks from the old studio this used to be your escape. Every break you’d make your way to the tree for some time alone, together. 

With the burgers done he turned to you and smiled. It felt like he wanted to say something, but stupidly, you'd cut him short leading him back towards the car.

Making your way through your checklist you brought him back to where you'd first met. The Movement studios students were starstruck when he walked in. After insisting that he teach some choreography, he reluctantly led the class.

Your eyes were glued to him as he moved in front of the mirrors, no longer that awkward teenager but a full grown man mesmerizing you with his every move.

Getting back to the car he stopped you before you reached for the handle. Putting his arms around you he pulled you in close. But again, you resisted him. 

"You stink Jungkook, our next stop is the ocean."

You remember pulling away. How stupid you were, you should have held on to him longer. Reaching into the back seat you revealed a pair of swim shorts and a towel. He looked disappointed that you kept interrupting his attempts at intimacy. It broke your heart but you had a plan and limited time to execute it. 

The Ocean was chilly but the wind was warm, he came out of the change room with the shorts on but still wearing his shirt.

"Kookie, this isn’t Korea, you don’t have to be so modest here. Plus, you should grab some sun, you may not believe it but when your skin is sunkissed," you grinned, "you look really sexy."

He raised his eyebrows and quickly removed the shirt at your request.

Running into the water you splashed and played and he took great pleasure in picking you up and throwing you as far as he could.

The sun was getting ready to set and you wanted to dry off before the cooler air set in.

Leading him back to the shore you both laid down on the towel. He put his arm around you and you cuddled into his side.

"My god Guk, look at your abs!"

He blushed like crazy as you traced the muscles on his stomach.

"Stop, it tickles," he giggled.

But you didn’t, you kept tickling him until he held you so tight you couldn’t move. He had you pinned, flipping you on your back he shook his wet hair flinging water droplets all over you. Pleased with himself he leaned in closer to you, his eyes asking for permission to kiss you. As the gap between you got narrower you could hear his name being shouted and footsteps running closer. He flopped onto his back and sighed as your roommates and friends piled on top of him.

Eating, drinking and catching up with everyone you watched each other from across the bonfire. Moving from person to person he slowly made his way back to your side.

"Welcome back." Running your hand through the back of his hair, it was now or never. 

Pulling him closer your lips finally met in the way they were destined, soft, slow and full of love. His hands instinctively moved to cup your face as the world stopped around you.

"I love you," you whispered.

Nose to nose he smiled at you and it was the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen.

It didn’t last long, his phone started going off incessantly. The managers knew, you’d been careless, photos and videos of him from the studio had been posted online.

"I’m so sorry Jungkook, I didn’t mean for you to get in trouble."

His eyes turned hungry as he grabbed your hand.

"You promised I wouldn’t be going back to my hotel tonight, let’s get out of here."

If he was going to get in trouble anyway, why stop now?  

The drive back to your place was quiet, adrenaline and hormones flowing like electricity through you both. The time for smiling was over as the seriousness of the situation lingered in the air between you.

It wasn’t just being in trouble or being caught, but the fact that you both knew what was going to happen when you stepped into your bedroom. One act that would change everything between you, it held the power to change the dynamic of your relationship forever.

Leading him to your room you closed the door and stood staring at him as he sat on your bed. He raked his fingers through his hair before he spoke.

"I’ve never wanted anything more in my life than to be able to make love to you. BUT I also know that when I leave I’m not going to get to see you again for a very long time." His head hung low. "Management is going to do everything possible to keep us apart and that won’t be fair to you. I think that maybe we should just let our happy memories of today be enough, I don’t want you to regret anything. " 

Walking closer you stood between his legs and he wrapped his arms around your waist.

"The only thing I'll regret is never getting to experience all of you. I can’t live not knowing how it feels to be totally yours even if it's only for one night."

He rested his head against your chest, "You’ll always be mine."

His hands traveled to the hem of your shirt and his fingers ran over the soft skin of your stomach. Undoing the button of your jeans he slowly slid them down your legs and you stepped out of them. 

Standing up he lifted the thin fabric of your shirt over your head and you stood before him waiting as he took his off too. Unclasping your bra he sighed as he looked at you taking in your shape, his fingertips hovering over your hard nipples.

"I’ve never done this before," he confessed.

"Me either," you whispered. "I've only ever wanted it to be you."

More relaxed he let his mouth start exploring your body. You were goosebumps and shivers beneath him as his tongue found it’s home between your legs.

He was soft and careful, placing his lips over your clit sucking it in delicately until your moans couldn’t be contained any longer. You could feel his eyes burning into you as he watched in awe as his finger slid inside you.

"It feels good Kookie, please…"

You could feel his mouth stopping to smile before he picked up speed. Moving your hips to eagerly meet his mouth you were unravelling quickly.

"The way you taste is better than anything I had imagined."

Devouring you in sessions between his words of adoration you came hard on his tongue. 

"I'm really regretting running you all over town today when we could have just been here...doing that.. " You were out of breath. 

"I was worried that I wouldn't be any good." He grinned at you pleased with himself. 

Moving up to where your head lay on the pillow he pushed the dampened hair off your face, "Are you ok? Do you need anything?"

He placed his forehead against yours.

"I just want you. I need you to know I'm yours, forever. 

Rolling a condom on he moved slowly to line himself up with your entrance.

"Tell me if you need me to stop okay?"

He pushed carefully, slowly stretching you around him. Watching intently for discomfort he froze when he saw the tears welling in your eyes.

"Shit, I’m so sorry, let’s stop, I didn’t mean to hurt you." He was apologetic as he thumbed away the tears.

"No," you delicately kissed his lips. "I’m okay… I’m just so happy, so overwhelmed with how much I’m feeling right now."

He smiled down at you, pressing his body closer he gave another push until he was fully inside. Your bodies fell into a beautifully choreographed rhythm until Jungkook was so lost in pleasure he began to move at his own pace. Quicker and deeper he moved until he finally spilled into the condom. 

Laying together in euphoria you kissed, and kissed, and kissed until you finally found sleep while wrapped around one other.

Every few hours he’d wake you up. His hands running over your body checking to make sure you weren't just a dream. You’d made love each time, everytime better than the last.

It was 9 am when he caressed you awake once more.

"I have to leave soon. I don’t want to." He spoke in whispers nestled into your neck. "Please tell me to stay."

Your heart broke at his words. "If I ask you to stay, I’m selfish, you’ll always wonder if you made the right decision." The tears came, knowing you had to do what was right. "If I tell you to go, your dreams come true… ” your voice trailed off.

"And I’ll always wonder if I made the right decision,” he finished. 

Your phone started ringing and you knew time was up.

It was Joon, "I’m outside. Sorry, I held them off as long as I could. I told them that I’d come get him so you could at least have time to say goodbye."

Your tears fell out in heavy ugly sobs, "Okay, five minutes… and Joon… thanks, I know you’re probably in trouble too."

Hanging up you turned back, Jungkook was already out of bed with his clothes thrown on. He stood with open arms bravely waiting. 

"Thank you for yesterday I'll never forget it."

Laying your head against his chest you took a moment to listen to his heartbeat. You could hear him sniffle and knew he was crying too.

You flashed back remembering that night long ago when he came to you homesick, holding you so he could sleep while he tried to hide his tears. There was a knock at the door and Namjoon’s voice broke through the moment.

"We’ve got to go Jungkook."

Stepping away you’d left his shirt soaked in tears, handing him his sweater he pushed it back towards you. "You keep it."

He kissed you one last time before opening the door to reveal Namjoon's weary face. His Hyung put his arm around his shoulder and led him to the car.

Turning one last time he looked back, his eyes were filled with tears as he gave a small wave before getting in the back of the big black sedan. 

For months you pretended that management was the only thing keeping you apart.

You held on to that silly notion until May when they were coming for the Billboard awards. For weeks leading up you waited for a message, a secret meeting arrangement, but you got nothing. His image was all over the TV and his voice echoed through your empty heart. Then, just like that, it was over and he was gone again. 

Now, here you stood in your kitchen, his letter bringing him to the forefront of your mind and opening old wounds.

He was just as sad as you but what could you do? 

Picking up a pen you began writing… 

I shouldn’t have done it but I read it in your letter

You said to a friend that you wish you were doing better

I wanted to reach out but I never said a thing

You don’t ever have to be stronger than you really are

And honey, you don’t ever have to act cooler than you think you should

You’re brighter than the brightest stars

You’re scared to win, scared to lose

I’ve heard the war was over if you really choose

The one in and around you

You hate the heat, you got the blues

You’re changing like the weather, oh, that’s so like you

I’ll pick you up

I’ll catch you on the flipside

If you come back to California

We’ll do whatever you want, travel wherever, how far

We’ll hit up all the old places

We’ll have a party, we can dance till dawn… 

Y/N

October came again and a chill was in the air, the smell of the ocean hit your nose and you stopped to take it in.

Bundled in Jungkook’s hoodie you threw your bag over your shoulder and began your walk to work. You'd gotten lucky, Movement had hired you just as you were about to give up and leave California. Filled with hope and excitement a new intensive program was scheduled to start today and you were going to meet the future superstars of the dance world. 

Memories flooded your mind as you made your way through the familiar neighborhood. It still hurt, but things were beginning to feel happy again. Writing the letter had given you closure, he knew how you felt and beyond that there was nothing else you could do.

Opening the heavy door to the studio you caught a familiar reflection moving in the mirror.  Chalk marker in hand he was writing something, It couldn’t be?

Hearing the door click back into place he turned to face you.

"Hi."

He walked towards you slowly. Unsure of what your reaction would be, he approached with caution.

"Hi."

You were breathless, in the months of not seeing him he’d only grown more handsome.

"I can’t change what happened… and for the rest of my life I’ll be sorry for all of the time we missed."

He was getting closer.

"But I can���t take another day not knowing if I can fix this… somehow…"

He reached for your hand but you pulled it away. His head fell in disappointment.

"Jungkook, I can’t listen to this… look at me."

Reaching for his chin you pulled his head up until he was facing you again.

"I refuse to listen to you apologize for something that is out of your control. Your life was decided before you met me and I am nothing but grateful that I got to appear in some part of your story."

He tilted his head and pressed a small kiss into the hand that was still holding his chin.

"God I’ve missed you." He wrapped his arms tightly around your waist.

"How long are you here? I’ve got to teach class.. It’s the first day but I’d love it if we could catch up?"

He laughed at you and your knees buckled at the sound of his happiness.

Taking his chance he pressed his lips to yours and you could feel the smile forming on his face.

"I’m your private lesson Jagi, I’ve booked you for the next two weeks."

Taking a step back you had to ask, "How Jungkook? What will you be giving up?"

Pulling you back to his embrace he began to dance with you.

"There is no more giving up, on anything. Our contracts were over and I only had one thing I wouldn’t negotiate on, that’s you." 

He guided you to look at the mirror.

"I wrote you something."

~Please call my name one more time

I’m standing under the frozen light, 

but I’ll walk step by step towards you

Still with you ~

"I promise I’ll never let you go again."

[cellard0ors]

Ficlet: Beneath The Blue

Mermay isn't over and people enjoyed Part 1, so here's some more...

Rhett has a bit of a gambling problem.

No, that's not quite right. More like a gaming problem. He likes games. He likes the rush of winning and it's not so much about money as the thrill of nailing a dart on a bullseye or getting a hole in one or - well - being right.

He really loves that one. Trivia, guessing games, riddles - lucking out on the right answer or just knowing it, always makes him feel fantastic. He's had marginal luck in his life. With basketball, with singing, and now - with his new current career - fishing, but games?

Rhett's always mastered those, rarely ever a loser. But the thing is, to do those things, he tends to have to use cash as an entry to play, thus - a sort-of-not-really gambling problem.

And winning in those kind of situations is also a problem, because, after some time - it tends to attract...attention. And usually the bad kind. Recently it was very much the bad kind, because he was at The 101, engaging in his normal play only to be snatched up by some very rough looking characters.

Ones who took him into a backroom and decided to skip right over the 'broken knuckles' threat and jump right into the 'you're going to go sleep with the fishes' threat.

To be fair, they probably went quickly into the decision once he started fighting back. Rhett's not much of a brawler, but he's a big guy and that in and of itself can create...issues. Especially if his temper is up.

Long story short - Rhett's bit of a gambling problem led him to being clonked over the head (more than once, matter of fact) and taken out to sea. His last real memory before hitting the water was that he'd been amazed at the boulder they'd found to attach him to - where had they gotten such a huge rock from? A landfill?

Not that it mattered - rock, rope, and Rhett all went overboard and into the deep. Rhett tried not to hold his breath, to struggle enough just to get loose, but, in the end - he'd been lost.

Except he hadn't been.

He'd awoken to find the setting sun bathing him in golden light and, above him, an angel. Because only an angel could have such eyes. Eyes as blue and deep and mysterious as the sea he was supposed to have died in.

His throat ached from damn near drowning but he'd still managed to ask the angel for his name. And he'd gotten it.

Link.

But then the angel had turned, vanished, and Rhett had seen that - while he was right about his mythical savior - he was not at all right about what kind.

Because Link had a tail.

A fish tail.

One as sparkling blue and captivating as his eyes and he'd disappeared into the surf so fast, Rhett began to question his sanity.

Had he imagined it all? The entire experience had been traumatic as heck - maybe it was just a coping mechanism for his mind? But then, far out, he'd seen a head appear above the waters.

Seen it and a shy wave and he'd waved back, because what else could he do? He wasn't dead and he wasn't crazy. He'd been saved. Saved...by a mermaid (merman?) named Link.

Which leads to now and his camping out full time on this small rocky stretch of lonely beach. Rhett made sure to check in with the local marina, see if it was okay for him to dock his tiny fishing boat, The Bluegrass, nearby. And 'nearby' was about a mile or so away, because this bit of land is pretty unoccupied and small.

...the perfect place for a merman (mermaid?) to drop off someone they saved. And, hopefully, return to? Rhett's not sure - honestly, this whole thing might be a fool's errand, but either way - he has a tent pitched and is waiting.

Waiting to see if Link returns.

Night after night seems like a failure. Still, Rhett doesn't mind. He can be patient. His last haul (fish-wise, not gambling-wise) earned him a considerable amount, so there's no harm in waiting.

Still, as he sits here now, the sky a lovely lilac as the sun dips low beneath the horizon, he can't help but feel like time's running out. Honestly, what did he expect? For Link to return and want to...what? Be best friends?

The person...creature...per-creature? Did what he could and Rhett should just be grateful and move on. But there was something about him...and those eyes...and that voice...

Rhett cracks open another can of soda, takes a deep sip when he hears it. The water's waves have become almost a white noise at this point, so consistent, but this...this is different. Just a little splish. Or splash. Or whatever.

And it's close. He puts the can down and quickly surges to his feet, looking out intently over the water and then he sees it. Just the top of someone's head. His head. Dark wet hair and blue eyes behind...are those glasses? And Rhett can't see his nose or anything else, but he can see enough to cry out, "Hey!"

The head rears back, sinks some, and Rhett feels a surge of panic, not wanting to lose this opportunity, "No! Wait, wait! Link! I-!"

The head stops, goes still. Rhett continues on, desperate for this to continue, "Please...don't go."

He doesn't.

Bolstered, Rhett continues, hoping he's heard, understood, "I...I just-? You saved me."

Link simply blinks.

"Thank you."

There's a bobbing in the water around him and Rhett's pretty sure Link nodded. Rhett edges just that little bit closer, "I...I'd hoped you'd come back. Not only so I could thank you, but so...um...maybe-? Maybe we could-? Could talk-?"

Link sinks a little more again, but Rhett can still see his eyes and, as long as he can see those, he feels okay, "I mean...you-you came back. Right? So-so maybe you'd-? You'd like to talk too?"

Link's head disappears.

Rhett feels his heart break. But then he notices that the water is moving. There's a rippling, the kind he sees when fish swim close to the surface. As if to punctuate that thought, the broad tip of a blue tail rises up and out, pushing against the waves.

He's swimming closer!

Rhett resists the urge to hoot in delight, to pumping his arms in victory, as Link pushes forward and, on the next movement of water, he surges upwards - his whole head visible now.

Link's entire face is nice.

A strong jaw, a good nose, a very fine mouth and yeaaaah, Rhett doesn't want Link to swim off, so he's going to do his very best not to focus on that mouth too much as he says, "I'm-I'm Rhett."

Link licks his lips, dips his head shyly, "I'm Link."

"Y-Yeah, you-you said..."

They both just sort of eyeball one another, both clearly unsure of what to make of the other. Of how to proceed. Eventually Rhett does, "So, ah, you're-? You're a mermaid?"

Link's eyebrows rise.

"Merman?"

"Just Mer," Link clarifies, "Our kind doesn't really attach those bits on the end there."

"Really?"

Link nods, "Humans came up with that one."

"Oh? We-we did?"

Another nod, "Back when we first used to come across one another."

"...take it that doesn't really happen now?"

"Not really. No."

Another awkward silence falls. Rhett scratches at one cheek, struggling for something else to say when Link blurts, "You're hairy."

Rhett lowers his hand and - much to his own surprise - he bursts out laughing. Link colors some and he gives a bashful smile and okay, Rhett said he wasn't going to pay too much attention to that mouth, but it's hard when it's so danged cute, "Yeah, yeah I am, brother."

"Bro-ther?" Link repeats and it's clearly a word he's unfamiliar with. Rhett beams, "'Brother'. We use it for family members. Y'know, the boys born from the same Momma and such. Can be a term of endearment too."

"Oh..." Link seems pleased with this and Rhett grins, "You got one?"

Link's eyebrows knit together and Rhett explains, "A brother? Or-or some other family or-?"

"I was spawned from another Mer. She came to shore to give birth to me."

Rhett's eyes grow wide, "You-? You were born on land?"

Link nods, "Most of us are. Mers walk between both worlds more often than not."

Rhett lets that one wash over him even as Link comes closer. Rhett can see his tail better now. It's amazing. Glossy and sparkling blue, the scales tightly knit. Rhett's first reaction is wanting to touch it but he quickly shutters that idea - recognizing it as beyond rude. They've just started talking to one another, for goodness sake!

Still, seeing it rest against the wet sand of the shoreline is tempting and seeing it move, more so. It slides and slithers, but in such an enticing way. Rhett moves a little closer, foam teasing at his toes as Link looks up (and up) at him, "Hard to talk at this level..."

Rhett realizes he probably looks like a giant at Link's angle, the Mer practically lying at his feet, so he lowers himself down until his butt hits the sand, crossing his legs at the ankles, "Better?"

Link nods and Rhett does a bit of a wiggle backward to avoid getting his khaki cargo shorts wet. There's an amused smirk around Link that says he recognizes that action. But of course he does - Mers, apparently, can traverse between land and sea.

So, Link is probably aware of how clothing works. Has he ever worn clothing? Come to the shore? Rhett wants to ask so many questions, but isn't sure what's appropriate and what isn't, but Link beats him to the questioning, "Are you a fisherman?"

Rhett lets out a strained 'Ah-?' as he immediately realizes that the true answer will no doubt insult his new acquaintance, but, again, Link beats him to the punch, "You've got the attire for it. Flannel shirt, baseball cap..."

Rhett frowns, "You think fisherman have a particular attire?"

"To my recollection..." The remark makes Rhett chuckle again, unable to help himself, "'Recollection' - you sound so danged southern. Just like me. I was born and raised in North Carolina."

Link beams, "That's where I was spawned! My sire came from the same location. Not all Mers are from the sea. Some reside in lakes, rivers - any water deep enough to conceal us, but a lot of us return to the ocean, considering its the biggest body of water."

Rhett lets that sink in even as Link again asks, "So, you are a fisherman, right?"

"Um-?"

"It's okay if you are," Link assures him, folding his arms and resting his chin there, "It's not really a proud profession amongst my kind, but it's understandable."

Rhett's lips twitch from side to side, "So I'm not, like, catching up your friends or something?"

Link snorts, "What - you think we talk to them?"

"Heck, man - I don't know how it works," Rhett lets out a peal of nervous giggles, getting the idea that Link is teasing him. Link returns the laugh and Rhett relaxes as a realization settles in.

Whether or not Rhett wants to admit it, he did want Link to return. He wanted him to return and be his friend and it appears that that is indeed what is happening.

It's happening and Rhett couldn't be any happier.

[drethanramslay]

A funny thing called Fate- Prologue

Pairing: Bryce X MC (Aisha Khurrana)

Word Count: 2.8K words

Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Warning: None really, just a little cursing

Author’s note: I had been listening to Strawberries and Cigarettes by Troye Sivan and that is actually the primary spark which led me to come up with this series. Shout out to @mvalentine and @anotherbeingsworld fo letting me bounce my crazy ideas <3

AHHH so it is finally here!! This is my first time writing Bryce so I hope I can do justice to this beautiful man. This starts with Aisha’s (MC) POV and like I said, there will be a time jump. It would be first person when I’m writing in the past and then it will shift to third person when I’m writing the present. I think i should stop my rambling and let’s go!!

Terms you need to know-

-Bhaiya: Brother in hindi

-Beta: Technically it means ‘son’ but in most Indian families its used like a term of endearment too

- AIIMS, Delhi: Stands for All India Institute of Medical Sciences. This is one of the best medical schools in the country and Only 100 people out of 200,000(or more) get in. So it is very cut throat.

10 years ago- Aisha's PoV 

(Age: 16)

I am done.

Done with all the drama, done with all the lies, done with all the manipulations and done with all the heartache.

And most of all, I was done with him- the infamous Bryce Lahela. 

The boy with the stupid long hair, the stupid signature smirk and the stupid charm. Those amber eyes which reminded you of the sand and sea and those lips on which an everlasting smile played used to be like a breath of fresh air. I always thought that he was so unique, but boy was I wrong. 

All boys are the same.

I really thought that jocks like him would be different huh? Can someone just hand me my clown shoes?

But luckily, I don't have to see his face ever again because for once, instead of making a mockery of my existence, life decided to give me something that I really wanted badly.

A chance to leave all of this in my past. A chance to start over again.

My dad had a better business opportunity back in Mumbai. I am an Indian and we lived in Delhi since the time I was born but we shifted to Mauii when I was in the ninth grade because of how demanding dad's job was getting

Bhaiya chose to stay back in Delhi because his engineering college was there and he enjoyed the hostel life way too much. And he had finally managed to get out of our toxic household so I really could not blame him.

So yeah.. that is how I ended up in Maui in the first place.

It was okay in ninth grade. I kept to myself and blended in with the shadows (because hello social anxiety!). But... Tenth grade changed everything.

It was one of the best and worst year of my life and I often wonder if I could ever get over this.

I am definitely sounding like one of those over-dramatic Indian soap operas my mom watches every night.

"Aisha? Are you ready? The car is here beta."

"Yes, Mama. I am coming!! Just packing up some stuff."

Breaking out of my reverie, I stuffed in my phone and other essentials into my carry bag. As I was zipping up my luggage, I yanked open my closet door to see if I left anything behind my eyes landed on the shoebox I had stuffed in the back of my closet.

I gulped and I felt tears well up in my eyes again. A part of me wanted to take it for it had all the trinkets of the good things in my relationship with Bryce but, another part of me knew that if I took it with me, I would never be able to move on and that would completely defeat the purpose of this fresh start I have been looking forward to.

So with a heavy heart, I looked away and shut the door of the closet, picked up my luggage and left.

As the Uber pulled out of the curb I stared out of the window, to look at the beaches I had come to love and hate.

I liked Maui, I really did but all that it was reduced was a place where I was humiliated and belittled.

And it was all his fault.

PRESENT

(Age: 27)

"Oh my god. I'm gonna late!!" Aisha screeched as she saw the time on her phone. She shoved the duvet off her and jumped out of bed. She tried running to the bathroom in her small closet-sized apartment but it just ended up with her stubbing her toe against the coffee table.

"Ow ow ow." She cursed as she hobbled into the washroom and got on with her daily chores. Her hand-eye coordination was already awful and add that she was sleep deprived just made the entire thing worse. Stumbling, tripping, cursing she managed to brush her teeth and hop into the shower. The burst of cold water managed to wake her up as she furiously washed.

Why did I have to move into a room under a busy staircase?! This is why bhaiya says- Do your research. She angrily thought to herself as she wiped herself rigorously and zipped open her suitcase, searching for her semi-formal clothes.

Grabbing a granola bar and her trusty thermos of coffee, she was on her way to Edenbrook.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

As she entered the atrium, she was in complete awe. It looked big and majestic on the outside, with a clever mix of brick walls and the glass facade, making it look welcoming. Sunshine poured through the atrium as the various doctors and nurses worked around her, not giving mind to the clueless intern gawking.

"Hi, I'm Dr Ines Delarosa, a senior resident!! You look lost. Let me guess... the first day of residency?" A short woman in a doctor's coat walked up to her breaking Aisha from her awe, her aura full of happiness, rainbows and unicorns which made Aisha a little vary.

Is it normal to be this happy and energetic?

Aisha nodded hesitantly and the resident smiled a hundred-watt smile. "Great. You are gonna need a photo ID. Follow me, I will get you all set up." Wordlessly Aisha followed Ines, slinging her messenger bag over her shoulder, nervously playing with the strap.

It is going to be fine... Aisha breathed out as she entered a room with a white background and a camera before it. "Just step over here, in front of the camera and smile."

And waste my energy? No thanks.

She schooled her features to be as professional as she could and the flash of the camera went off. Aisha walked over the tangled wires and peeked at the screen. A serious face stared back at her, the lighting doing good to her brown skin. Her nose piercing caught light and her dark mahogany hair was tied up in a neat ponytail.

"Is it okay? Or do I need to retake the photo?"

"No, it is great! I like it. Thank you."

"Well I will just stick this on your ID.... and you are good to go!! I wish I looked that good in my ID." She said and cheerfully and once her eyes fell on the title a smile made its way on her face,

Dr Aisha Khurrana... It is real and it is true.

"My first day as a real doctor." she whistled lowly shaking her head as if she didn't believe it.

"I was in your shoes last year. Believe me, med school was nothing compared to this. Your three years of residency will be the toughest, most amazing year of your life!! But the first year as an intern will be the craziest of all."

As soon as the smile had graced her features, it slipped away and she nodded seriously. "I think I am ready for it. I have been dreaming and slogging my ass so that I could work in Edenbrook. Ever since I learnt that Ethan Ramsey worked here. His research basically pushed me to apply for med school."

Also, the fact that my parents can like shut up about me being worthless.

"That is great. I will just walk you to the locker room so that you can change into scrubs." Ines offered and Aisha gave her a small smile.

"So... Any advice?"

"Make friends..."

And I am out. She thought to herself. She always struggled with making friends and that is partly the reason why she would keep to herself all the time. Sure she did make a few gem of a friends in med school but if she had to choose between mingling with strangers and drowning, you know what she would choose.

"... with your interns, year senior residents, even your patients! Friends will get you through anything. And, uh, try to not annoy the Attendings! You do not want to get on your boss's bad side."

"Noted."

After changing she was just passing through the waiting room so that she could get to the orientation when she heard gasps from the seating area. A woman had collapsed on her seat and the people were crowding around her.

Her instincts kicked in and she ordered. "Give her space. Everybody step back! I'm a doctor."

She hurried over to the woman just as another doctor rushes in. He kneeled at her side and checked her pulse. "Pulse is weak. She's unresponsive." He looked up and his eyes landed on her.

"You Rookie. Get here."

"Right away doctor. Coming!" Aisha hurried over as the doctor lifted the fainted woman on to the nearby gurney.

"What was she coming in for? Did she fill out a form yet?"

"No, she'd just walked in."

The doctor's piercing blue eyes landed on her which made her straighten her back. "If we don't figure out what's wrong with her fast, she's going to die on this table. Rookie, check B.P."

Wrapping the blood pressure cuff around the unconscious woman's arm and she pumped the bulb, peering at the numbers.

"It's plummeting. She's hypotensive. We've gotta get fluids in her."

Aisha's eyes wandered over the woman's form, trying to search for more clues. Her eyes landed on the rapidly forming bruise on her elbow.

"Doctor... Look at this bruise. I think it's a sign that she is a haemophiliac."

The doctor replied in a gruff voice. "You think or you know?"

"I know."

"Good. Also can you see the way her fingertips are turning blue? It is a sign of low oxygen saturation in the blood. Take a closer listen to her lungs. Hurry."

She nodded assertively and slipped the resonator of the stethoscope over the ribs, straining to hear the diminishing whooshing of the lungs which made Aisha gulp in fear.

"Can't hear anything on the left side and the right side is struggling. She is going to suffocate at this rate." She spoke up , her voice struggling to stay calm but as she glanced at the older doctor, he seemed to be as cool as a cucumber.

"Nurse we have got a code blue." His authoritative voice boomed over as the nurses bustled around the gurney.

Taking the bag mask from the nurse, he secured it around the patient's mouth and gently pump air into her lungs.

"What do we do, Doctor? What's happening to her?" She asked as she noticed the reducing breath rate.

He looked up. "Consider all the clues. It's all there. You know this, Rookie."

Aisha closed her eyes and took a deep breath, realigning her focus, delving deep into her mind, analyzing the clues.

Hemophilia... low blood oxygen... no lung expansion on one side...

Her brown eyes snapped open as it struck her. "It's a haemothorax!"

A twinkle of approval flickered in the ocean eyes, which vanished as soon as it came. "Precisely. A blood vessel ruptured and is filling her pleural cavity..."

"... Blocking her lungs from expanding! That's why she can't breathe." Aisha completed the sentence.

Fuck.

"But we can't repair the blood vessel over here."

The older doctor's jaw clenched. "Then we will have to do a emergency thoracotomy to drain the cavity instead. Nurse!"

The nurse hustles around handing her a scalpel and a chest tube, her eyes widening in shock.

She gulped, her nervousness spiking as she sees the doctor lift the shirt of the patient, exposing the side of her rib cage.

"We need a local anaesthetic-"

The doctor interrupted her. "We're out of time and she is already unconscious. Do it now, or the woman's life is on you!!"

She gritted her teeth with determination. I am not loosing a patient on my first day.

She took a deep breath in an attempt to calm herself. It is just like anatomy class only... this isn't a cadaver but a real person.

But that statement, instead of calming her, it just caused the scalpel to shake in her hand.

The doctor reaches and encompasses her hand. "Hey... You can do this."

Aisha nods stabilizing herself and focusing solely on the older doctor's voice, before she looked down.

"There you go... Nice and easy."

Incision at the fifth intercostal space... anterior.. to the mid axillary line...

And when she was confident enough, she made the perfect incision, a trickle of red following the path of the scalpel.

"Now the tube."

She took and pushed it into the incision and with a spurt, blood started draining out of the chest cavity resulting in the patient to take a deep breath.

Holy shit I did that. I freaking did that.

In the daze of endorphins, she heard the doctor order her surgery, the nurses wheeling the gurney and the onlookers applauding.

She turned towards the attending, excitement pouring out of her in waves. "Doctor.. that was absolutely amazing!!"

It's was as if a switch flipped and the grumpier and sarcastic facade took place. "You're right. It is pretty amazing you didn't get her killed."

Aisha's jaw dropped.

"Wait, what?"

The doctor rambled off, pointing out her mistakes. "Your examination was slow and superficial. Your scalpel technique, amateur at best."

It took all her might to not scoff. 

Excuse me I graduated from AIIMS Delhi, thank you very much.

 Swallowing the dying need to go off she spoke in a professional tone. "Amateur? I'm sorry, doctor but it is my first day."

"Well, that is not an excuse you can use because if that patient would have died, the blood would have been on your hands..." He lifted the badge attached to her breast pocket scrutinizing on the surname.

"... Khurrana."

He tossed the id back to her, turned on his heels and walked away, leaving a steaming Aisha in her place.

"What a dick." She muttered under her breath.

"Yeah and I'm totally in love with him." A nurse appeared magically out of thin air near her, causing her to jump in surprise.

The kind eyed nurse just rolled his eyes and placed a hand on her shoulder which had Aisha bristling. "Don't worry about it, Dr Ramsey is like that to everybody."

Aisha's jaw dropped for the second time. "Wait... Dr. Ramsey as in Dr. Ethan Ramsey?!"

Shooting a knowing glance, he spoke up. "I take it, you're a fan?"

"He's only my medical hero and greatest inspiration. I've read all his research!" Aisha rushed off, horror and excitement rushing through her.

Oh my god I managed to piss of my one medical hero.. I'm such a dumbass.

Noticing the horror of her expression he gave a gentle smile. "On the bright side, you'll get plenty more chances to impress him."

She sighed and looked down to see that her scrubs were stained with blood.

First impression is last impression beta, always remember that. Her father's voice resonated in her mind.

"Dammit, I'm here for five minutes and I'm already a mess. I can't show up to orientation like this!"

"Don't sweat it. There are extras in the locker room. Come I will show you the way..."

She walked into the locker room, looking for her assigned locker. There was a crowd of half naked interns and after mumbling a couple of 'excuse me's', and rubbing shoulders (literally) she made it the end of the room.

As she turned she knocked into another woman in nothing but her undergarments.

"Uh...um.. okay then." Aisha stuttered as she felt the back of her neck heating up.

Thanks to my brown skin no one can see me getting flustered.

"What? See something you like?" She asked cheekily in an Indian accent which eased Aisha up a bit.

"Ha, you wish."

"Aren't you cute?" The woman snickered as she reached for her pants.

"That's what people say, so it must be true."

She reached for her full sleeve shirt before looking Aisha's way. "Desi?"

Aisha snorted. "Obviously. And I'm guessing you too."

"Of course. And I'm guessing that you are definitely not wearing those scrubs."

"What? Didn't you hear? Bloody clothes are like the new trend around here."

There was a moment of silence before both of them started laughing.

"It's good to meet someone from home." Aisha spoke as she pulled her scrub shirt off.

"Woah, woah, woah. Don't count on that yet. I need to see if you are gonna get in my way in this competition."

Aisha smirked as she shut her locker. "Can't say I'm surprised. Can't be desi if the sense of competition isn't ingrained in your DNA."

"Oh my god never thought that I would see Jackie's twin." A familiar manly voice wafted over to them.

Wait a second...

"Shut up scalpel jockey, this is our kind of bonding."

"Oh please, don't scare the newbie aw- oh."

Oh.

She was standing right in front of him. Face to face. The playful amber eyes, with flecks of brown hadn't changed. The long shoulder length hair had been cut and styled to be short and messy.

There was no trace of the surfer boy she met in Maui. He was a man through and through but still, the youth in his eyes poured out in waves, reminding her of the sandy beaches.

But right now those amber eyes were wide with shock.

It's not everyday that you meet your ex of ten years in the locker room of your new job.

"Aisha?"

".... Bryce?!"

HEHEHEH AWKWAARRDDD

Like, comment, reblog and let me know what you think 

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[tomtenadia]

Island Dreams - Chapter 4

Double feature tonight! Here's chapter 4 as well. Last night I was inspired and I did managed to write a few chapters.

As usual... some Gaelic for you:

A bheil Gàidhlig agad - Do you speak Gaelic? mo charaid - my friend

Some of Elias' words seem funny, but he speaks Scots as well. And he is so damn sexy while doing it.

All the locations I mentioned they are real. Rowan's bookstore it's the only fictional place.

Happy reading!

------

Aelin woke up quite late the next morning. After her fight with Rowan she had spent the day at the marina and wondered around the town. She had felt empty and could not bring herself to do anything. She finally managed to speak with Lysandra and cried. She cried her heart out and her friend had listened. Like she always did. She had gotten home later in the afternoon and felt exhausted. She spent the rest of the afternoon in the living room reading her books. That brought her joy at least, although dreaded going back to shop to collect the last book. She could not face him. Not yet. But that morning she had woken with a renewed motivation. She had prepared breakfast for herself and admitted she missed Maeve’s apple turnovers but could not risk going back there at the moment. She had to put some distance. So she ate her own breakfast, prepared a couple of sandwiches and got her backpack ready for the next adventure. Today she was driving south toward Harris. She had learned that Lewis and Harris were one big islands but Lewis was the Northern part, full of moors and peat land. Harris, was the Southern part, much rockier and with some stunning beaches and a famous road called the Golden road. Ten minutes later she was in the car and ready to go. She set her sat nav and she left. Over an hour later the sat nav announced one last turn to her final destination: Luskentyre beach. She had a look at some photos online and she could not believe such a gorgeous place existed.

She parked the car and opened the door and got out. No internet image had prepared her for the view in front of her. The beach was massive, the stretch of sand never ending and the sand was so white that it almost hurt the eyes. And the sea. It was the purest green mixed with blue that she had ever seen in her life. She was speechless. For ten solid minutes she leaned against the open door of her car and observed the stretch of paradise in front of her, incapable of doing anything else. Trying to burn in her memories the colours. She would take pictures but doubted they would ever do any justice. Finally she moved and grabbed her backpack, locked the car and walked to the beach. Once she reached the sand she removed the shoes. No way she was going to walk on that sand with her shoes on. The sun was up and the sand was warm at the touch and she let the feeling sooth her. Around her there were a few people walking dogs and couples walking hand in hand. A pang of sadness hit her, and absentmindedly she touched the spot where her wedding band should have been hating herself straight after, for missing Chaol. He made his choice. She had given him his freedom. Tears threatened to appear once again but she fought them back and resumed her walk along the beach. She followed the beach and walked in the water ignoring that it was cold. She walked for hours then she decided to sit and eat her lunch. Her sandwich was gross compared to Maeve’s and in her packed there definitely was no chocolate cake. She sighed. A young man was walking his dog and she noticed the animal coming her way. The man called him a few times, but a moment later the dog was at her feet, his tongue lolling from his mouth and was staring at her sandwich. Aelin laughed and gave him a bit and he ate eagerly. “I wouldn’t do it if I were you. You might never get rid of him.” The man was now in front of her and was scratching the dog ears. “It’s fine I was done eating anyway.” And she gave the rest of her lunch to the dog. She lifted her eyes and stared at the man. He was wearing shorts and a navy blue polo shirt. His hair was black as the night and his eyes a light blue edging on grey. Her breath caught and she felt herself blushing. “You are not a local.” He said as a matter of fact. “That obvious?” “Your accent. Definitely not from here.” His smile left her breathless. He had dimples. On both sides. He was quite cute. “Where do you bide?” Aelin looked at the man puzzled “Bide?” “Aye, where do you stay?” Understanding dawned on her. The word must have a different meaning in Scots “I am staying in Stornoway.” “Bonnie place. I live in Callanish. Ye, ken?” Aelin was stuck again. Was he even speaking English? So far all the other people had done their best to speak English with her. “Sorry, bad habit. I didn’t mean to be rude. I meant if you know Callanish.” The man sat beside her on the sand while the dog was running free on the beach. “Yes I was there a couple of days ago. I went to the standing stones. Such a fascinating place.” “I have one of the smaller circles just outside ma hoose.” He confessed turning his head to her “There are actually few more different sites scattered around the area. The main one at the visit centre is Callanish I.” He explained, then he extended his hand “I am Elias by the way. I have been yapping non stop and forgot to introduce myself.” “Aelin,” she said taking his hand. “Aelin…” her name on his tongue sounded perfection “In Gaelic means bright or shining one.” “So, are you a tourist? Visiting friends? Family? Boyfriend?” Aelin giggled “Status uncertain at the moment.” She said, then looked at Elias and explained a bit further “Tourist at the moment, but things might change.” “So, where are ye fae?” She guessed his question and she hoped she got it right “London.” She replied. “Been there for work a few times. I am an engineer and I have been down there for a few conventions.” Aelin was too busy listening at his sexy accent to pay attention to what he was saying and she felt embarrassed when she had to ask to repeat his answer. “Nae worries. I said I am an engineer and I was in London a few times for work.” “Cool what type?” The guy was fascinating and seemed much more willing to chat that a certain grumpy one back in town. “Environmental. I am working with Calmac at the moment. That’s the company that runs the ferry you used to get here if you travelled by sea.” He explained while the dog came back and licked his fingers quite happily. “I am a doctor. I was…. Still am… it’s complicated.” She cut short and noticed the confusion in his face. “Long boring story.” “What type?” “Cardio thoracic surgeon.” He whistled “bad ass woman. Love it.” His grin reached his eyes and she felt heat spread inside her. Definitely more than cute. And those dimples… She was having a good time but she had to keep going, she still had a few things to do. “I am enjoying the conversation but I still have quite a lot to cover.” She stood and turned to him. The main smiled “Of course. Care for some suggestions?” Aelin nodded. “If you are driving south, right after Borve there is another lovely beach. Stop there as well. Not as famous as Luskentyre but amazing as well. Then continue all the way down to Rodel. It’s the village at the end of the road. There is a lovely church called St. Clements. Worth visiting. Once you are past Rodel make your way back via the Golden road. It’s a very narrow road but it’s a pleasure to drive if you want an Hebridean adventure. Once you are almost at the top before Tarbert, make sure you stop in Drinisiader. There is a fascinating wee museum about Harris Tweed. But just hide your purse. They have some amazing stuff and you might want to buy the entire shop. Then you are in Tarbert and from there it’s an easy drive back to Stornoway.” “Tapadh Leat.” She said and Elias gave her a huge grin in response. “A bheil Gàidhlig agad?” He asked and she realised she had to stop trying to use Gaelic. “I just know thank you and good morning.” She explained almost embarrassed. “That’s okay, lass. I am not a native speaker either. I learnt it later on in life. My parents don’t actively speak it, but my gran did. It was the only way I had to communicate with her. My parents were parts of the generation that grew being taught that speaking Gaelic was not proper, so they never did. My mum understands it because of course her mother was a speaker. But she used her dad to translate. It’s a very long complicated story.” He stopped and looked at her. “Looks like we both have a complicated story to tell each other.” Aelin’s stomach fluttered in excitement. He grabbed his wallet and removed a business card from it. “Sorry for being so direct, but you seem quite an interesting person. Call me or message me if you need a guide.” He held the card to her and Aelin debated for a moment whether to take it or not. Lysandra had told her to go to Scotland, enjoy herself and get a Scottish man in the process and forget her ex husband. She took the card “I’ll call you.” “Do it, mo charaid.” She smiled warmly, grabbed her backpack “It was nice meeting you, Elias.”

She was driving along the Golden road and she had to admit that the road was a real adventure. Large enough for a small car to pass, she had to constantly focus on the road to avoid ending in a ditch or in a loch beside the road. But no matter the stress, she was loving it. Until the sheep arrived. One moment she was alone on the road. The next moment she was surrounded by sheep. A massive flock stretched for some length along the road. She got off the car, she took a picture and sent it to Lysandra with the caption traffic jam in the Hebrides. A moment later the phone rang. “Are you kidding me?” “No Lys, I swear I am surrounded by sheep. They are everywhere and I can’t go anywhere. Guess someone will come and collect them soon.” She heard Lysandra laugh “Sounds like you are having a great time.” “I am.” she confessed not entirely convinced. The memory of the fight with Rowan still stung and she was wracking her brain to find a way to fix things with him. She was… intrigued by him. He was brooding, infuriating and handsome at the same time. Plus he was the owner of a bookstore which was not bad. She wanted to be his friend but it looked like he was not interested. He had made that abundantly clear. Nothing I want to give you. Tears threatened to appear once again but she fought, not willing to let sadness spoil such a lovely day. So she had decided to put some distance. She would go to get her book when it arrived and then limit her visits to his shop, for as much as it pained her. He didn’t want to have anything to do with her. Well, she was granting him his wish. “How is going with Aedion?” She changed the subject. “Well, we have only been on a date but he’s great.” “Already planning your wedding?” Aelin joked and Lysandra laughed in reply. “Nah, just imagining having sex with him for now.” “Eew. I didn’t need to know that” “Seriously… the man has amazing hands and I spent the evening thinking what he can do with them. And if all the other parts are just as big as the rest of the body…” “Eewww. Ewwww and eeeeew.” “Since when you are such a prude?” Aelin laughed she wasn’t but she had no interest in listening her best friend talk about her boyfriend’s body parts. “Get a move on finding a man of your own and then you can fantasise about his body parts.” For a brief moment Aelin’s mind thought about Rowan’s hands and… No, stop. She could not go there. That was dangerous territory. “We’ll see.” Was all that she added. “I need you to come back to me happy.” “What if…” she paused for a second “what if I am not coming back?” “What do you mean?” In the distance Aelin noticed a tractor and the sheep began moving again. “Sheep are moving. Gotta go back home.” “Ok. Keep me posted.” She say bye to Lys and she was positive she felt a note of sadness in her friend’s voice.

The sheep finally moved and she spent the journey home mulling over what she had said to Lys. She could not see herself going back to London. Something had broken inside her. Maybe it was her that was broken. With her skills and experience she could easily find another job in another hospital. So why the rejection from one place hurt so much? And Chaol… London was a very big place, the chances of her bumping into him on the streets were minimal. However, they had loads of friends in common. She would have to give up her friends to avoid him. Give up her gym, her favourite bookstore and cafe, because he was a regular in those places too. She would have to give up her life to avoid him and the pain that seeing again would bring. She had felt relieved after the divorce. She still had no regrets. But forgetting almost a decade together was proving more difficult than she expected. She pushed on the breaks quite hard, forced the door open and run to the field near the road. And then she collapsed on her knees and screamed, letting out all the frustration festering in her. Her hands began shaking and she felt the symptoms of a panic attack starting to manifest. Breathing was getting harder. So Aelin stayed in the filed, and cried and shook. Until she had no more tears left in her.

[maybebrilliant]

My ridiculous fandoms:

I know, multifandom much?!

I have a LOT, although I will post mostly AoS shit. (I don’t make things for all of these, don’t worry lmao, mostly I just spectate and sometimes reblog stuff.) Up to know I’ve put them all up in my bio, but I’ve decided only to do the top, say, three, otherwise it just gets wayyy too long. However, I’m putting it all here, so that anyone, if they feel so inclined, can see what shit I’m interested in. 

I will also be putting a bunch of my favourite quotes from the shows there, because, well, I’m a total nerd xD. 

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

”With great responsibility comes...a ton of weird shit you are not prepared to deal with.”

“The steps you take don’t have to be big, they just need to take you in the right direction.”

“Sometimes, making a difference means being different.”

Star Trek: Discovery (sauce)

“You had me at unsanctioned mission...” 

“Deal with me, universe, while I deal with her.”

And...(though this is not a real quote, exactly) Sauce Afirma Sauce Eterna. :)

Derry Girls

“If anyone is feeling anxious, worried or maybe you just want a chat, please, please do not come crying to me.”

“We got the gist. They ran out of spuds, everyone was raging.” 

“Slainte, motherfuckers!”

Julie and the Phantoms

“Chill man, Street Dogs haven’t killed us yet.”

“I cried in a room for twenty-five years and didn’t get a single hug from either of you!”

“Oh. She said oh. That’s what you say if you get socks on your birthday, not when you’re invited to join the most epic band ever!” 

Brigerton

“Having a nice face and pleasant hair is not an accomplishment. Do you know what is an accomplishment? Attending university! If I were a man, I could do that, you know.”

“You would actually have to be interesting for me to bother spying on you"

“All is fair in love and war but some battles leave no victor, only a trail of broken hearts that makes us wonder if the price we pay is ever worth the fight.”

Simon Snow series

“You were the sun, and I was crashing into you.”

“Sharing a room with the person you want most is like sharing a room with an open fire. He's constantly drawing you in. And you're constantly stepping too close. And you know it's not good--that there is no good--that there's absolutely nothing that can ever come of it. But you do it anyway. And then... Well. Then you burn.”

“I'd cross every line for him. I'm in love with him. And he likes this better than fighting.”

Avatar the Last Airbender

“Life happens wherever you are, whether you make it or not.”

“My first girlfriend turned into the moon.” “That’s rough buddy.”

“Why am I so bad at being good?”

Harry Potter

“It’s leviOsa, not levioSA!” 

“I solemnly swear I am up to no good.”

“Things we lose have a way of coming back to us in the end, if not always in the way we expect.”

The Queen’s Gambit

"I Would Say It Is Much Easier To Play Chess Without The Burden Of An Adam's Apple."

"I'm Not Your Guardian Angel. I'm Not Here To Save You. Hell, I Can Barely Save Me."

“Again?”

Once Upon A Time

"That's How You Know You've Really Got A Home. 'Cause When You Leave It ...There's This Feeling You Can't Shake. You Just Miss It."

"Sometimes The Best Teacup Is Chipped."

"All Magic Comes With A Price."

The Good Place

“I’m just not a ‘new experience’ kind of guy. My comfort zone is basically like, that chair, and honestly? The arms are a little sharp.” 

“What matters isn’t if people are good or bad. What matters is, if they’re trying to be better today than they were yesterday. You asked me where my hope comes from? That’s my answer.”

“We do nothing. We hope that our early successes make up for the embarrassing mess we’ve become. Like Facebook. Or America.”

Community

"We'll definitely be back next year. If not, it'll be because an asteroid has destroyed all human civilization. And that's canon."

"GAAYYY MARRIAAGEE!!"

“Our Captain was killed on duty tonight. Leaves behind two kids and a pregnant wife. So you’re missing a Batman DVD?”

Zoey’s Extraoridnary Playlist

“Who wants some freshly delivered, slightly cold, mediocre pizza?” 

“Songs are all just an expression of our deepest wants and desires… Joy, pain, heartbreak, yearning, forgiveness, revenge. Good music can make you feel things you can’t express in words.”

“I just found out a guy I like is engaged, and I am either going totally nuts, or I suddenly can hear people’s innermost thoughts as big musical numbers.”

The Old Gaurd

“Depends on the century.”

“You're an incurable romantic...”

“SHIIIIIIIIITTTTTT!”

Merlin (BBC)

“Merlin should take some of the credit, turns out he’s not always entirely stupid.” 

“Are you saying I’m fat?” -Arthur | “No, I’m saying the belt is one hole shy away from perfection.”

Artemis Fowl

“I am the future queen of this world, at the very least. You may refer to me as Mistress Koboi for the next five minutes. After that you may refer to me as Aaaaarrrrgh, hold your throat, die screaming, and so on.” 

“We lost the crickets,” she said. “Even you can’t make that sound tough.”

“I never tell anyone exactly how clever I am. They would be too scared.”

How To Train Your Dragon

“ Thank you for nothing, you useless reptile!”

“You just gestured to all of me.”

“Toothless, what are you doing? We need her to LIKE us!”

The Dragon Prince

“I’m just a kid. I haven’t fought in any battles. I haven’t read many books of wisdom. I haven’t gone through the things that made my father the king he was. So I’ve decided that I don’t have to be the king my father was. My father made choices to keep fighting battles that started hundreds of years before he was born. To punish enemies for crimes their parents committed! I don’t want to be that kind of king.” 

“The dragon prince is alive! And he’s really cute, by the way.”

“What? WHAAAAAAAT!”

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?”  

“A towel, [The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy] says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value. You can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapors; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a miniraft down the slow heavy River Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (such a mind-boggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.”

“For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen.”

“The Answer to the Great Question... Of Life, the Universe and Everything... Is... Forty-two,' said Deep Thought, with infinite majesty and calm.”

“Ford... you're turning into a penguin. Stop it.”

sorry for the five I couldn’t choose only 3

But there you have it, my insane, ridiculous, way-too-many fandoms. For anyone who cares. ;)

[justatiredghost]

January Rain by the Sea Part 5

In a life of misery, the ocean is the only place Klaus has ever felt any sense of peace or belonging. He finds himself drawn here whenever it all gets to be too much

-

Klaus was trying to be careful, not wanting to tighten the net wrapped around Dave more than it already was, but his pocket knife wasn’t particularly big or sharp, causing him to have to saw at it roughly for longer than he’d like. It was a little awkward, especially with Dave watching him with a guarded look that was nothing like how he’d looked at him earlier that evening.

“So, what’s the story, then?” Klaus asked, desperate for anything to talk about. “Do you get dressed up and go swimming after dark like this often? Or—”

He reached out, planning to snap the waistband of what had to be a fake fishtail, but he touched his hip where tiny scales began, only to find that they really were sprouting from his skin. The detail was too precise, just a scattering before they became full overlapping scales that you’d expect on a fish. He couldn’t imagine anything fake holding up against his squirming and thrashing, being dragged across the sand as well as the coarse ropes of the netting. It had even damaged the tail in some areas, and there was no faking the rope burns or the bleeding. Or the way his tail curled that legs and knees couldn’t.

“Did you really expect it to be fake?” Dave asked, trying to hide the hint of a smile despite himself.

“Huh,” Klaus said. “This isn’t how I thought it would go, but I always knew the drugs would kill me eventually. Am I having a stroke or something?”

“I don’t think that’s how strokes work.”

“So you’re not a hallucination, then?” Klaus asked, studying him through squinted eyes in mock-suspicion.

“If I say that I am, what are the odds I get out of this alive?” Dave asked, turning grim again.

“Woah, woah,” Klaus said, raising his hands. “Who said anything about dying?”

“I mean,” Dave said. “Despite how I looked earlier, I’m not exactly human. Most people would be more than happy to sell me out.”

“Fame and fortune?” Klaus asked, waving a hand dismissively as he went back to cutting through the net. “Yeah, been there already, and I’d rather never go back.”

“So, what, you’re just gonna let me go?” Dave asked skeptically.

“I mean, yeah,” Klaus said. “Kidnapping isn’t really my thing. I mean, what am I supposed to do with a whole ass human? One that’ll have to live in a bathtub too. Besides, pretty sure everyone’s just looking for an excuse to lock me up. Can you imagine what would happen if I started going around telling everyone Merfolk are real?”

“Oh,” Dave said. “Um, thanks.” It didn’t exactly look like he believed him, but there was at least enough doubt that he didn’t look so hopeless, so that was nice at least.

“Just to be clear, though,” Klaus said, hoping to get him to relax. “You are the same Dave I met earlier, right?”

“Yeah?” Dave said, looking confused by the question.

“Okay, cool,” Klaus nodded, and he finally managed to untangle his tail, which Dave stretched cautiously, either because of his injuries, or because he didn’t want to accidentally smack Klaus, which he appreciated. “You can never be sure with these kinds of things.”

“I want to ask what you mean by that, but I’m afraid to know the answer.”

“Probably for the best. I’ve lived a wild life. Now, can I—“

He gestured to the net still wrapped around his chest, trapping his hand, and Dave nodded after a moment. His eyes fell closed as Klaus drew in close, his breathing finally seeming to calm.

“So,” Klaus said, trying to keep the conversation going. “When you said you had a thing tonight, you meant a fish thing?”

“Yeah,” he hesitated, like he wasn’t sure how much he should give away, and Klaus figured he should probably change the subject to something less personal.

“What about that trap you set up for your boss? How did that go?”

“Oh, it worked,” he said, chuckling more out of surprise than anything. “Thankfully, he doesn’t know it was me, otherwise he’d have sacked me immediately. Not that it matters now.”

“Way to be cryptic,” Klaus said, finally slicing through the last of the rope and throwing it to the side. “What does that mean?”

“Just—“ Dave said, avoiding eye contact as he rubbed life back into his numb arm. “It’s probably about time I moved on.”

“Hang on,” Klaus said. “You’re not leaving because of this, are you? Because it’s really not that embarrassing. I’ve done way worse stuff, ask anyone.”

“I don’t know. I’ve done some pretty stupid things, I’m honestly surprised this is the first time someone saw me. Just, I can’t have anyone knowing who I am.”

“Well, now I feel bad,” Klaus said. “I don’t care. Can you use your Mer-powers to wipe my memory?”

“I don’t— I don’t have any mind wiping powers,” Dave said in confusion.

“Oh well, worth a shot,” Klaus shrugged. “My sister could make me forget probably, but that means telling her, so we’ll just be right back where we started with someone knowing.”

“Your sister?” Dave asked, shaking his head. “I really can’t tell when you’re joking or not.”

Usually, Klaus went out of his way to never mention his family or the Academy. Unless he thought it might get him into an exclusive club or a discount or something. But he knew Dave’s secret, and he honestly did want to reassure him, maybe share a secret of his own so he wouldn’t feel so exposed. Klaus really had no idea what had gotten into him, he wasn’t this honest with anyone. This guy just felt so familiar, so right, that he found himself not caring about his usual caution. So he decided to keep going.

“Oh, I’m not kidding at all. She’s the Rumor. She got the fun power, I just get to listen to ghosts screaming.”

“I assume that’s supposed to mean something to me, but for the life of me, I have no idea,” Dave said, just looking more and more confused.

“Seriously? You’ve really never heard of me?” Klaus asked. “The Seance, the sexiest and most fun member of the Umbrella Academy? Where have you been living, under a rock?

“Kinda,” Dave admitted with a chuckle. “But the Umbrella Academy does sound familiar. That was the thing with the superhero kids, right? You were one of them?”

“That’s one way to but it I guess,” Klaus grumbled. “Way to make it sound incredibly boring.”

“And you said your power was ghosts?” Dave asked.

“Yeah, but I don’t think ghosts are going to be able to help us here. Not that I could hear them right now, even if I wanted to.”

“This has been one of the most wild conversations I have ever heard, and you’re the one who just found out I’m not human. How did that happen?”

“I told you, I’ve lived a wild life,” Klaus winked.

Klaus dug around in his pockets until he found what he was looking for and held it up in victory. He’d forgotten he had a spare joint, although now it was incredibly soggy. “Aha, I do have one left! So, are you gonna chill here and smoke with me, or do you need to head out on very important Mer business?”

“You’re gonna smoke that?” Dave asked, skeptically.

“It’s only a little damp,” Klaus said. “I just gotta dry it out first.”

“Right, well, good luck with that,” Dave said, turning away towards the ocean. “And thanks. For saving me.”

“Hey, it’s whatever, am I right? Just don’t make a thing out of it,” Klaus said, flopping onto his back and staring up at the stars. “I’d offer to walk you home like a real gentleman, but I’m not a gentleman, and also I imagine there’s a bit less walking and a bit more swimming involved.”

“Goodbye, Klaus.”

Klaus waved without looking, digging his toes into the sand. He must have taken his shoes off when he jumped into the water, he needed to remember to grab those, but at least this felt nice right now. He didn’t even hear Dave splash into the water, the next time he looked up, he was just gone. For some reason, a wave of melancholy washed over him as he was left alone on the beach. What was up with him, lately? He really needed to smoke this joint.

[get-lost-in-fanfiction]

LOST - Another Story

Rating: M

Word Count: 3.1k

A/N: I don’t have anything special to say for this chapter, so enjoy House of the Rising Sun!

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House of the Rising Sun

I’m sitting on the beach as Kate, Jack, and Charlie getting ready to go on a hike for the water. I realize that now is the time for Jack to want everyone to go to the caves. I’ve already made my decision, and I’ve got a pretty good excuse as to why I want to stay on the beach. As the only other person with medical experience, I’m going to stay on the beach while Jack is up at the caves. It’s a foolproof statement and not revealing at all that part of the reason I want to stay is Sawyer.

I tune in to catch Kate say, “It's not like I'm asking a personal question.”

“It is a personal question,” Jack replies.

“You don't have to get all quiet on me. I just want to know,” Kate says as she puts water into the backpack on Jack's back.

“Well, you're not going to know.”

“What's the big deal?”

“It's not a big deal. It's just something I did. I had my reasons. And I don't want to put it out there.”

I glance over and notice Sun watching them, I feel bad for her. Realizing now that this is House of the Rising Sun I decide that now is the time to “get to know her.”

“It's just that you and your tattoos don't add up,” Kate’s voice cuts through my thoughts, “Are you one of those hard-core spinal surgeons?”

“That's me. Hard-core,” Jack replies.

“If you guys are finished verbally copulating we should get a move on,” Charlie butts in, a pack on his back, “There's a whole beach of people waiting for us to get some drinking water for them. And the great white hunter's getting restless.”

“Okay, let's do this,” Jack finally says.

“Hey, Charlie. Ask Jack about his tattoos,” Kate says, amusement clear in her voice.

“Oh, you guys have an inside joke. How absolutely wonderful for you both,” Charlie replies sarcastically.

I never realized how in the first few episodes, the main characters all sort of have their centric episodes, which are appropriately named. I wonder what my episode would have been called if I was a real character. Probably something to do with hiking, since the character-centric episodes are named based on the flashbacks shown in that episode. Then again, who says I'm a main character anyway, I could get killed by Ethan for all I know. I shake that thought from my mind, I don’t want to die.

Then, suddenly, Jin is stomping angrily over towards Michael. Sun shouts after him. Jin runs up and tackles Michael at the edge of the water and starts slugging him.

“Hey, hey, what the…” Michael says hurriedly.

“Stop! Hey stop!” Walt shouts. Walt rushes up and Jin shoves him back, knocking him down. I scramble to my feet to help.

“Get off of him, please! Stop! Stop!” Michael says as he gets repeatedly beaten. Jin is trying to drown him. I bounce on my feet and look around nervously, no one is helping.

“Do something! He's going to kill him! Stop him, please!” Walt is screaming at Sun, and she is screaming back. Finally Sayid and Sawyer show up, and are running out to help. Sayid tackles Jin. Sawyer grabs Michael.

“The handcuffs from the Sky Marshal! Now!” Sayid shouts.

Sawyer tries to hand them to Sayid, but Jin is thrashing around and Sawyer has to help him to subdue Jin. Jin is then handcuffed to some kind of bar on the plane. Jin is still struggling. I rush over to Walt and place my arm around his shoulder.

“What happened?” Sayid says to Sun as Sawyer looks at me.

“I'm getting tired of saying this,” Michael begins, “I was just walking the beach with my son, and all of the sudden this dude is all up on me. I didn't do anything.”

Jim says something in Korean and everyone stares tensely at each other.

“Surely there must be something you're not telling us,” Sayid reasons.

“Surely? Where you from man?” Michael asks

“Tikrit. Iraq,” Sayid answers simply.

“Okay. I don't know how it is in Iraq, but in the United States of America where I'm from, Korean people don't like black people. Did you know that?”

Again, Jin shouts something in Korean.

“So maybe you ought to talk to him!” Micheal says angrily, pointing at Jin.

Sun points to her watch and says, “지금 시계 때문에 그래요, 시계.”

“The cuffs stay on!” Sayid shouts at her.

“A little louder, Omar. Maybe then she'll understand you,” Sawyer says sarcastically.

“Lay off him Sawyer,” I say and he just looks at me.

Then Hurley walks up to us, “Guys, that Chinese dude is going to get pretty crispy out here. How long are you going to keep him tied down like that?”

“Jin is Korean, Hurley,” I try to say as nicely as possible.

“He tried to kill Michael. We all saw it. The cuffs stay on until we know why,” Sayid says.

“Come on, man. Let's go,” Micheal says to Walt and I release him with a squeeze. Walt smiles at me and I smile back before he runs to catch up with his father.

As everyone disperses, Sawyer stays, looking over at Jin and Sun off in the distance. I stay with him.

“What are you thinking?” I ask cautiously.

“Nothin’ blue eyes,” Sawyer answers tersely.

“You’re so hot and cold with me,” I say, changing the subject and crossing my arms over my chest.

“What?”

“You heard me, one day you’re all sweet and protective then the next you’re like this! What’s going on?”

Sawyer sighs, “Blue eyes..”

“Dimples,” I sigh back. Sawyer smiles suddenly and brings me in for a noogie. I thrash in his arms, smacking them and laughing loudly.

“Sawyer?! Sawyer, get off!” I laugh-shout. He lets me go at that.

“C'mon let’s go eat some boar,” Sawyer says and I follow him in disbelief. Maybe me being here changes him for the better, sooner.

Once again I am on the beach, sitting, in the same spot I always do. I know right now somewhere in the jungle at the caves Jack, Kate, Locke, and Charlie have found “our very own Adam and Eve.” I know who they are, really, and I chuckle to myself at the story writers. They really waited until almost the end of the show to tell us who those two skeletons were. I know that Lost is all connected, but I have nothing else to think about. I look over my shoulder and there is Sun, sitting there looking troubled. I make a decision.

I get up from my place in the sand and walk cautiously over to her. She gives me an odd look and I wonder if it’s because of the time traveling thing, or the fact that I was with Sayid and Sawyer in the whole hand-cuffing incident. I try to set my face in a friendly expression as I approach her.

“Hi Sun, can we chat?” I say cheerily.

“아멜리아?” Sun questions, and I look at her with a blank expression. Real life doesn’t have subtitles. Damn.

“Uhm I’m really sorry I can’t understand you, but I want to talk. I promise I won’t hurt you,” I say quickly, “Van we go over there?” I point into the jungle, wanting to make sure our meeting is as secluded as possible. Sun nods and gets up.

“Great, we’ll, follow me then,” I say with a smile. I lead us off into the jungle, my heart pounding out of my chest. I’m not even sure this is a good move or not. But it’s worth a shot. We travel into the jungle a bit when I stop and turn. I take a deep breath and begin my unprepared speech.

“So, Sun. I know your husband has caused some issues lately with Micheal and stuff. I’m not here to be your enemy. Maybe you heard, maybe you didn’t, but um,” I take another deep breath before the shoe drops, “I’m a time traveler?” Sun stares at me.

“So I know that is probably really weird for you, and you’re probably wondering why I’m talking to you when I can’t understand you and you must not be able to understand me. Well, I know your secret. I know you can speak English and I know you can understand all of us.”

“You— You do?” Sun asks tentatively.

“Yes, I do, and I promise I wasn’t going to tell anyone. I understand how big this is for you. I figured since I have a mind boggling secret and that you have a mind boggling secret we could form an alliance of sorts?” I smile and Sun does too, “Not that we're forming a group against anyone, just that once you want to share that you speak English I’ll back you up is all.”

“You’re very kind Amelia, thank you.”

“Of course Sun,” I cut myself off, I’m not sure what else to say. “Should we head back to the beach? And again I promise not to tell.”

“Yes, let’s go back.” So we walk back together, trying to look as inconspicuous as possible when we come out of the jungle together. We part ways and Sun walks over to Jin. I suddenly stop when I see Walt playing in the sand.

“Hey, what are you doing?” Micheal says to Walt, then he turns to Jin, “You say something to my boy?”

Jin says something ans Walt looks scared. Sun looks scared as well and glances towards me for support. I’m rooted to the spot.

“Yeah, nice talking to you, too. Move it, Walt,” Micheal says.

They begin to walk away and Walt asks, “How come he doesn't like us?”

“What?”

“You said people like him don't like people like us.”

“Oh man. You know, uh, look, that's not true, and you know what, I don't think like that anyway. I was, I was angry.”

“What did you do to him?” Walt asks, and I’ve heard enough. It’s not my place to eavesdrop. I glance one more time at Sun before walking quickly down the beach towards the tents.

“Miss Kassman? Miss- Amelia wake up,” A strange, but kind voice says to me. I groggily open my eyes, and take in the surroundings of stark white walls and the beeping of some sort of machine.

“What.. Why am I here?” I whisper throatily, my voice hoarse from unuse.

“There was an accident, Miss Kassman. You survived,” I open my eyes to see a doctor with brown hair.

“M-My family? My mom, my dad? My brother?” I try to sit up, tears welling up in my eyes as a lump in my throat begins to constrict my airway.

“Please stay calm Miss Kassman,” the doctor says, and I search his sad face. I already know the answer. I burst out sobbing, my body wracked with survivors guilt. The doctor says silent as I cry myself out. After about 10 minutes I am finally able to regain myself and wipe my eyes.

“They’re dead aren’t they?” I croak out. The doctor only nods. I can tell he’s uncomfortable, but I don’t register it fully. “What’s your name?” I ask again, but quieter.

“Jack, Doctor Jack Shepherd,” the doctor says simply. “They told me to come and take a look at you. You sustained major burn injuries to your back, I’m a spinal surgeon and I wanted to make sure you were alright.”

I stare down at my hands, this Dr. Shepherd has bad bedside manner. I wiggle my hands and toes, I shake my legs and then look back up at the doctor. “I think I’m okay..” I say quietly.

“Good, that’s good,” the doctor says while standing, “The x-rays told me that much, but I needed to make sure myself.” Dr. Shepherd turns to leave and puts his hand on the doorknob before turning back to me.

“I’m very sorry for your loss,” he says simply but full of pity before opening the door and walking out. Soon enough a nurse comes in and checks on me. She changed my IV and tells me she is giving me something to sleep. She puts it in, and in a few minutes I am out like a light.

Soon enough Jack and Kate return with the water. I know Locke and Charlie stayed up at the caves to look through the wreckage there, so when I spot Jack, Kate, and Sayid finally walk away from each other that’s when I approach.

“Hey guys, welcome back!” I say more cheerily than I want, “Do you guys have water?”

“We sure do,” Jack says as he pulls a bottle from his pack and hands it to me. I take it greatfully and sit down in the sand to drink. Jack and Kate look at each other once before Jack speaks up.

“So, Amelia,” Jack begins, clearing his throat a bit, “Where the water is were some caves that could offer some pretty good shelter.” I look between Jack and Kate.

“Are you asking my opinion because you know I already knew about the caves?” I ask suspiciously.

“No no no,” Jack says, “I was going to ask your opinion but not because of the future thing. We think that digging in at the caves together would be a good way to survive. We have 46 people to give water to, it would be much easier if we were there.”

“Well, I think that while yes the water is closer, there might be a chance that we could get rescued if we stay on the beach,” I say unconvincingly.

“You and I both know no one is going to rescue us,” Jack replies, and I sigh. He’s right.

“Well Doc, I think you should just ask everyone and see who wants to go. If by some miracle we do get found us beach-ies can alert you cave-ies,” I stand and toss the half drunk water bottle back to Jack, “Thanks for the water.”

I mill around the beach and watch as Jack goes around to different people and gather up a group to go to the caves. I search around for Sawyer for a bit, but eventually give up when I can’t see him right away. Then I hear Jack and Hurley talk, and I whip my head around to scan the beach. Then I finally see Sawyer approach Kate, but his back is away from me. I scramble to my feet and sneak up on their conversation.

“Well, well, well, if ain't the belle of the ball?” Sawyer says as he reaches Kate, I’m right on time, “So what's it like having both the doctor and Captain Falafel fighting over you?” Kate doesn't respond, nor does she see me, “Just call 'em how I seem 'em, Freckles. Truth be told, I'm not the only one wondering where you're going to weigh in on this whole moving off the beach thing. Are you going with the pessimists, or staying here and waiting for the rescue boats?”

“Are you going?” Kate finally asks with an edge to her voice.

“Well, that's the real trick, isn't it? We all pack up stakes for the caves and the next day a plane passes by, they're going to go on their merry way and be none the wiser. On the other hand, stay here, get eaten by boars, fall off a rock, not going to be anyone around to answer that 911 call.”

“Amelia will probably stay, and you still haven't answered my question.”

“You didn't answer mine. And I asked first,” Sawyer says, not reacting to Kate’s mention of me. Kate just walks away and Sawyer turns around, bumping right into me.

“Whoa blue eyes! Where did you come from?” Sawyer asks.

“I was standing here the whole time,” I say, crossing my arms over my body and hugging my hips.

“So you heard Kate and I’s conversation?”

“Indeed I did James,” Sawyer lunges at me and covers my mouth with his hand.

“Say that a little louder will you?” He hisses at me, and I just lick his hand. I laugh heartily when he retracts his hand quickly and wipes it on his shirt.

“So are you going to the caves blue eyes?” He finally asks me.

“No actually, I think I’m going to stay here. You know in case someone needs a doctor and Jack isn’t around. It’ll be good practice,” I say as nonchalantly as I can.

“Awe and here I was thinkin’ it was all for me.”

“Not everything is about you, blondie,” I tease.

“Ohoho finally got a new nickname for me?”

“Indeed I do, and I see you’re still using the classic ‘blue-eyes.’”

“What can I say, I’m an unoriginal man.”

“Whatever you say dimples,” I say as I walk away, using his own line against him and leaving him dumbfounded.

Soon, almost too soon, Jack and his little group are getting ready to head out to the caves. I toss some wood on the ground for a future fire as Jack approaches me.

“Amelia,” He says shortly. I turn around and smile at him, his pack on his back and looking ready to go.

“Jack, what can I do for you?” I ask more kindly than I feel at that moment.

“Since you’re staying on the beach I wanted to give you some supplies, for doctor...ing,” Jack says clumsily. He hands me a small pack and I take it while looking inside. There is medicine and a few other things for patching up wounds. Simple stuff.

“Thanks Jack, I’ll keep it in my tent.”

“Just don’t let Sawyer steal it, okay?”

I laugh and sling the pack over my shoulder, “I won’t don’t worry, and if he does I have my ways of persuading him.”

Jack laughs as well and shakes his head before holding out his hand to shake, “Well, I’ll see you around doctor.”

I reach out and shake Jack’s hand firmly for a moment before dropping it, “See you around Doc.” Then he walks away and joins the group of Jin, Sun, two redshirts, and Hurley heading towards the caves. I wave at their group and Hurley waves back before I turn back to my pile of wood and begin to set up a fire as the sun begins to set.

Once it’s night and I know for sure that the group is at the caves, I allow myself to relax and sit with Sawyer, Sayid, and Kate around a fire. Sawyer makes room for me and I sit next to him, close but not too close. I look up at the sky as I feel Sawyer’s arm sling low across my back, hidden from our other firemates. I smile into the stars and close my eyes. It’s a peaceful night, and I know it won’t last long.

LOST

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Please let me know if you’d like to be tagged in updates!

[chaoslaura]

I’d like to request prompt angst 13 for Willex please. Hopefully your not bored of writing them people really seem to like them 😂

Angst 13 “This is all in my head. It’s all happening in my head” with willex

Got this prompt two times and I have to say you guys really do love Willex. I have two other requests open with them, but don’t worry I really do not mind writing for them. They’re an amazing couple and I would never get bored.

Also I got carried away a bit with the angst part, it’s just what I can write best, I hope you like it though.

Read it on AO3

“Oh Willie, you don’t know how disappointed I am in you. You were one of my favourite employees after all, you could have made it big under me. You remember all those years ago when I took you under my wing, showed you the beauties of the ghost world, invited you in my club so you had a place to call home? And how do you thank me? You deceive me! Go behind my back. This is all your own fault William, what I do to you is just for your best. To get you on the right track again.”

Willie was shaking under the harsh gaze of Caleb. He had a hand close around his chin, forcefully twisting his face up, forcing him to look upwards from his place on the cold floor in Caleb’s dressing room, but Willie was too afraid to look him directly into the eyes, knowing what he would find there, the same venom that was lacing Caleb’s voice.

But Caleb was right, it was Willie’s own damn fault. For following his heart that for the first time after he had died, felt like it was beating in his chest again. Gradually, it had filled with love for a certain ghost that he fortunately had crashed in all those weeks ago.

But now that that ghost had crossed over along with his friends, Willie’s heart had shattered again, like his will for following Caleb’s orders blindly had done so before it. What did it all matter, he had thought, when the pain of the heartbreak had numbed everything from his mind to his body, unable to move or think straight without his memories digging up blond hair, and pink hoodies, and a drum steadily beating in the background. What did it matter, if he danced, or served lifers, or ran errands, or not?

Caleb had given him so much when Willie was completely overwhelmed with his death and the new life he had to navigate on his own. A place to life, someone to talk, introducing him to other ghosts, allowing him to spend his free time however he wanted to, he was nothing else than good to him, and Willie fucked it up. Big time. Just because his heart had been persistent, more stubborn than his brain and had overruled every logic thought left in there the moment his eyes had laid sight on a cute ghost. But in the end, it didn’t do him any good.

Now he was curled up on the floor after jolts had ripped through his body with Caleb above him, scolding him for his actions, for standing up against him, and Willie deserved it. The grip on his chin was tight and if ghosts could bruise, he was sure everyone would’ve been able to see it.

But instead with a swerve Caleb let loose and Willie’s head fell to the floor with his hair tangled around him and he could do nothing but lay there while Caleb stepped back, throwing one last disgustful look at him and wandered away, probably preparing the evening show, not caring when or if Willie would get up and drag his body to his own room and collapse on the bed, exhausted from the jolts and the pain that he could still feel lingering in his limbs.

Two weeks. Two whole weeks of continuously working, doing every job Caleb told him to do. And he wasn’t allowed to go outside. Not for skating, not for a walk, not for escaping the hell hole, Willie didn’t call his home anymore. He felt like he had been dragged through the gutter, who would’ve thought ghosts could feel exhaustion and to that extent.

He was sleeping whenever he could, curling up under the blanket desperately wishing it were someone else’s arms embracing him. Caleb never was big on touching or loving gestures, but now that Willie had experienced the feeling of holding someone’s hand, hugging them, he wished he had someone who could let him feel these things again or at least a small portion of that. Just a pat on the shoulder would do it these days.

Getting a pause was the single best thing that had happened to him in the last days but being imprisoned in the hotel gave him no options to enjoy the free time, skating wasn’t allowed in here, besides Caleb had confiscated it.

After two days spent in his room, letting the silence wash over him in contrast to the loud orchestra each previous week, his mind had circled back to grey jean jackets and fiddling hands, and Willie was ready to march into the main hall to talk up some ghosts no matter how bad his mood was just so he could occupy his mind with meaningless chatter.

But to his confusion there was quite some crowd in the ballroom, unusual for the time. The whispering reached his ears then and let it know that Caleb hadn’t been seen for a few days even though no one could tell where he vanished to and what plans he had in mind.

But Willie had formed one on his own. He would use the time without Caleb’s gaze on him to escape the hotel and never coming back whatever consequences that would carry, Caleb could do with his soul what he wanted, Willie just wanted to savour his last days. What good was it for him, having infinite time but the one person he wants to spend it with gone and with no chance of coming back? Surely no one would be able to fill the hole that had opened in Willie’s heart and if Willie was honest, he didn’t want anyone else.

With that in mind, he climbed the stairs to Caleb’s dressing room, something he would never had dared to when the magician had been around. He had never been in there, but his plan wasn’t to snoop around, he just wanted to find his skateboard and then go. Lucky for him, it leaned on the wall directly next to the door, so he didn’t have to pass time searching around. The less time spend in here the better.

Willie grabbed his beloved board and quickly walked the stairs down again on the lookout for any other ghost that might tell on him. Today really seemed to be his lucky day though. Till he reached the main doors Willie didn’t encounter any other ghost and he let out a breath he had been holding in the whole time. Seeing as he was dead it was a pretty long time.

For the first time in weeks he stood on the spray painted board and took off, feeling the wind caress his hair and his skin the faster he got. Willie couldn’t help but let out a laugh, the first one since he had to say goodbye with a bone crushing hug, but the feeling of being reunited with his freedom, however short it was, pushed it out of him. He knew his ways by heart, but he was surprised to find himself on the beach after riding through the streets, bypassing endless groups of people.

The sun hadn’t set down yet but was on his way to kiss the horizon and dipped the beach in orange and red and pink, and Willie had to admit it was a really pretty picture, even though he would’ve preferred any absence of pink, the pain still not subdued from the memories it brought forth.

Nevertheless, he sat down on the sand, wishing he could feel more than the little warmth it emitted from being shone on the whole day, and dragged his hands through the sand, creating patterns that calmed his mind. The breeze around him carried the scent of the sea and the cries of seagulls and Willie was short to crying from the beautifulness of it all and wished he would’ve had more time to share it with someone else.

Some tears still escaped him, remarkable after spending so many hours crying, he had thought they wouldn’t be any left at some point. But the few tears running down his cheek to his chin convinced him from the opposite. He had propped up his legs and put his arms around them and his head on top of it, staring out at the sea through his watered eyes, the view a bit blurry.

Time passed differently for ghosts, but Willie could tell from the sun going down it hadn’t been long, and he wondered when Caleb would notice his absence.

Brushing with his thumb over his right arm where his scar was clear to see, Willie tried to not panic too much over what could happen to him, but in the end what did it even matter. A question he had asked himself numerous times the past weeks.

The wind had picked up and Willie lifted his head to see the last people leave the beach to go home to their families and parents and spouses. To a life Willie didn’t have anymore. A few kids were screaming over a ball getting blown away from the wind, mothers were packing up stuff, and couples were sharing one last kiss in the evening sun until it got cold.

A pair of boys walked along the shore, dipping their feet into the water and talking to each other. One of them had a flannel tied around his waist, the red had caught Willie’s eyes and for a moment he could’ve sworn he knew the two. But it was probably just a coincidence. Willie didn’t know any people and flannels were worn from many.

Only when another boy ran up behind them and threw his arms around them did his brain caught up with something else. The cut off sleeves from the second boy and the pink hoodie from the third.

Shaking his head and blinking a few times he refocused his eyes on the group and took a second look, but the three boys were still in his sight, but Willie was still unsure of them being there. Like really there. Surely his mind had suffered in the last weeks. Being trapped in the hotel with no real contact to the outer world must have left some damage. Maybe it was just wishful thinking. His mind providing him with his biggest desires.

Dragging his hands over his face and taking a deep breath he opened his eyes again but the three were still there and the pink prominently highlighted from the darker getting background. They were coming his way and Willie could make out their faces now, remembering the ghosts clearly. But still. This couldn’t be real. In no way could this be real.

“This is all in my head. It’s all happening in my head.” Willie whispered to himself. He didn’t want to give in in case the picture in front of him would fade any moment.

Who knew? Maybe Caleb was behind all this and tortured him with his deepest wishes, using his love against him, something Caleb probably never once felt in his life. “It’s not real, come on Willie, he’s gone.” The last word came out cracked and tears gathered in his eyes again. However often the thought had spun around in his mind, saying it out loud made it more real and Willie hadn’t planned for his day to end with crying, but he couldn’t help himself.

It’s why he couldn’t see the black-haired boy tipping on the blonde one’s shoulder and pointing his way. And he also couldn’t see a ghost in a pink hoodie running to him until he stood in front of him, his chest heaving from the tempo.

But when Willie lifted his head to see if the group had finally disappeared, the only thing he could focus on was pink. Pink and grey and blonde, and suddenly he was dragged to his feet into a hug that resembled the last they had shared in front of the Orpheum and Willie started to cry harder. He still couldn’t believe this was happening. Any moment this turned out to be fake and would leave him laying on a cold floor.

But instead a warmth flooded him, spreading from the other’s fingertips through his shirt and he clamped on tighter, his own hands twisted into the hoodie and his head shoved into the crook of the neck, his tears staining the material under him but he couldn’t care less. He breathed in the familiar scent and finally it clicked in his mind that maybe this was real after all.

The hand on the back of his head pulled him in closer, and the one on his back made sure that he wouldn’t let loose, but Willie had no intention to.

“Willie.” Was whispered into his hair and it was gently brushed away from his face.

Willie then lifted his head and tilted his face upwards to finally look into the eyes that had haunted his dreams. “Alex?” He whispered back, still a bit unbelieving. His hands had found their way on their own to Alex face, to each side, holding it between them. His thumb caressing over the cheek, feeling the soft skin. “Is it really you?”

Alex smiled down on him and Willie could see some tears on his face too, wiping them away while his own ran down freely, but they had turned into happy tears when Willie had allowed himself to believe that Alex was indeed standing in front of him.

“Of course I am, or do you know any other ghosts that wear my face?” Alex asked him, but his smile faltered a bit when he realized that Willie didn’t just ask out of curiosity. “Hey, are you okay?” And now it was Alex who freed Willie’s face from his tears.

But Willie nodded. “Now I am.” His voice was a bit croaky from not talking much the last days and from the crying, but it was okay. Alex understood. Willie had a few questions running through his head but for know he was content in Alex arms even though there was one thing he wanted to do before they parted.

But it seemed he wasn’t the only one with that quest as he found Alex leaning closer to him. “I searched for you. Every day.” Alex whispered and Willie could feel it as their lips were almost touching. “I didn’t want to give up, I knew you were somewhere, and I needed to see you. Before we said goodbye I was too scared to do this, but now…”

Alex didn’t need to say anything else; Willie knew what he meant and finally closed the gap between them, softly pressing his lips on Alex, slowly moving them, the same as the waves behind them hit the shore. It was calming and grounding and for Willie it was almost overwhelming. From the nothingness and numbness to this. The love and fondness seeping through the kiss made him tingle and he couldn’t help but smile against Alex, feeling the other do the same and not shortly after they both came up not to breath but to laugh. Their foreheads touching now and just overall happy to be in each other’s arms. 

[writingforevren]

WIP Intro Coming Soon

Excerpt - The boy who fell in

POV - Eros Rosario

Words - 1761

I was twelve or thirteen when it happened; On that day I had gone closer to land. I had always enjoyed watching humans my age hang out together and have fun, though I was too nervous to talk or interact with them- which could be due to the fact I was worried they might judge me for my rather… Unusual appearance. So I just watched them and wished... and watched... and that night I was just minding my own business, floating under the water as you do, when I heard a splash. Somebody was sinking and they weren't trying to stop themselves. I swam quickly and grabbed them, bringing them to the surface. I was worried; What if he’d drowned? I mean he had sunk, so what if something had happened to him or somebody wanted to kill him or something? I had no clue but all I knew is that I wanted to help.

At first he didn't breathe. I couldn’t help but think, Oh crap did he die? Humans needed to breathe right? He was motionless. I leaned forward and gently slapped his cheek. "Are you alright?" I asked softly and watched as his eyes fluttered open and his gaze settled upon me.

"Wh- who are you?" He jumped back away from me as he caught sight of my tail. "What are you? and what're doing to me?" he asked again and I could sense fear in his voice.

"Hey it’s okay! I’m just here to help, okay? I thought you were gonna drown so-” I tried to explain that I was there to help- that I wasn’t trying to hurt him, but… he didn’t get it.

"G-get off of me you're a monster!" he exclaimed and pushed his hands against my chest, sending this feeling of pulsing pain, causing me to fall backward on the sand. My chest throbbed and it was so painfully hard to breathe, I squeezed my eyes shut and focused on steadying my breathing. "What did I just do? What did you do to me?!" He cried, his voice was very shaky and I could tell he truly had no idea what was going on.

"P-please I was just trying to help..." I stammered through the painful pulsing that ran through my body.

"I- but can't you see I wanted to sink... why'd you- why would- why would anyone save me?" As I opened my eyes, there were thick tears rolling down the boy's cheek. I felt bad…  It was obvious he was hurt and fragile so I couldn't blame him for lashing out at me but... a monster? It still hurt.

I took a deep breath and laid back on the sand as the pain subsided. "Nobody deserves to die... we are all a part of this planet and we all have our purpose, now I dunno what yours is, but I promise you whatever is going on in your life is nothing compared to the amazing things that will come in the future." I tried to cheer him up, despite the fact that’s not really something I’d had to do before. Usually I told myself those things when I felt down, I had never actually said anything like that to someone else before.

"I- what's your purpose?" He had asked.

I felt- Well I didn’t know the answer and that’s something I had been trying to figure out. But I couldn’t exactly say ‘i don’t know’ I highly doubt that would’ve worked "mm perhaps it's to help save the world..." "Or maybe it's to save an innocent life that was far before their expiration date." I gave him a warm smile.

"Are you an angel? Are you sure I'm not dead? Is this a test of some sort?" he started asking all these questions that I found himself utterly confused as to where to start.

"Uh-” I paused for a moment. “No, Yes, and No, I'm not an angel, I'm actually a siren.” I replied, I wasn’t exactly thinking, I didn’t understand that he would judge me for being a siren, I didn’t know all the false rumours that humans had spread about us, Which makes me wonder what other false information humans are taught.

"I- A siren? Holy crap a siren? PLEASE DON’T EAT ME!” He yelled and put his hands up in front of him.

"Why would I eat you? I literally just saved your life..." Obviously he wasn’t seeing the logic here, If I wanted to eat him I would’ve just waited for him to drown and then ate him. It would be so much easier than what I had done.

"Because sirens lure humans to eat them?" He answered hesitantly, looking as if he was ready to run away at any moment.

I shook my head. "No... I eat fish also fish eggs are nice they have this sort of popping feeling in your mouth and they have a really strong-”

"So you don't eat humans?" he interrupted, and seemed genuinely confused.

I shook my head again "No I dunno who would wanna eat a human- I think I accidentally bit someone one time and they didn't taste very good."

"Oh..." He looked down.

"Why do you sound disappointed? did you want me to eat you?" 

"Uh- n-no I just uhhmmmm I dunno I wasn't disappointed-" he stammered.

"Why're your cheeks red?" I poked his cheek. Once again I was naive and had no idea what a blush was considering I had never met a human or someone with pale skin; All the sirens I knew had darker skin and were at least tanned.

"This is a really weird situation- I don't know what to say… s-o I'm not dead?" He seemed to have calmed down at least a little bit at this point.

"Nope- you seem alive to me... Also why does this cloth take so long to dry and why do humans always wear them?" I leaned over and started to peel the wet shirt off of his skin.

"D-D'you think you could not do that?" He stammered and pulled his shirt back down.

"Hmm…” I ignored him and leaned closer to his face "you're a nice one~”

"Wh-what's that supposed to mean?" He shrank back onto his hands behind him.

I leaned forward and cupped his face, it was so soft. I briefly pressed my lips against his which were soft and warm. "I mean you're pretty and your skin is soft."

"I- uh- thanks" The boy flushed bright red and averted his eyes.

"Mhm... Wow, legs feel different than they look." I ran my hands along one of his legs "What's this hard part?" I bonked his knee.

The boy quickly retracted his leg "Ow shit that was my knee and that hurt-"

"Oh- sorry-"

"Uhm do you mind me asking what sirens actually do with humans if they don't eat them?..."

"Mm well it’s a bit different, A lot of sirens are just lonely and lure sailors to keep them company for the night. Most of the time the Sirens have no idea where they came from so they just dump them on a random plot of land which is usually pretty far from where they should've been, so a lot of the sailors are reported to have gone missing after going to these parts of the water where there are sirens. Probably some random person came up with the idea that we eat them 'cause he saw one of us and that we have sharp teeth y'know but like worse sirens do to humans is like sometimes we can leave bites- I mean I never have but sometimes there are teeth marks and pretty dark bruises.” I explained.

"Oh-" 

"Mhm..." I smiled 

"Is this a dream?..." He asked, as he looked around the beach.

"Uhm no I don't think so- why?"

"I just tried to drown myself, so technically I could be in a coma- Sirens are mythology- and also you are incredibly attractive and I feel like only my dreams could make you."

"Am I not real enough for you?" I pouted and leaned on his chest

"Uhm- I'm just really confused mate..."

"Mate? but wait, you're a human..."

"I- what?"

"Oh wait- do humans not have mates? Mm ah yeah right I should probably explain that too. Sirens generally have to choose a siren mate before they're eighteen so that we don't go extinct considering we actually don't find each other that attractive compared to humans.”

"I eh... Okay-”

"Mmm do you have a mate?"

"I- ehm no I don't- I mean I've never even- I’ve never even kissed anyone before..." 

"Never? why not? I kiss pretty much everyone I like-"

"Oh eheh- just different for humans I guess..." He laughed awkwardly and seemed to be looking anyway other than myself

"Can humans not sense when someone is mutually attracted to them?"

"No- Sirens can?"

"Mhm I mean I could tell at first you didn't like me but then you realized what was happening and you are now very attracted to me." he smiles. "That's why I knew if I kissed you, you wouldn't reject me."

"Oh-"

"Mhm..."

"So you're on land- how does that work?..." He changed the subject.

"Well I can breathe both air and water so going on land isn't much of a problem however the sunlight does burn our scales so we can't really go to the surface in the daylight also we can't really move around that much without legs" I swished my tail around in emphasis.

"Right but uhm do you need moisture to survive?"

"Mhm we have to be in water uhm I think it was at least 6 hours a day otherwise we'll start to dry out."

"okay cool- ehm..."

"Do you have water at your house?"

"Uhh I mean yeah?"

"Can I come with you?"

"As much as I'd love to say yes- no-"

"... So you have magic right- do you think you could figure out the spell to give me legs? Because I'm bored with the ocean. it's so big and all I do is swim around and eat fish."

"I have magic?"

"Well obviously you just shocked me when you got scared."

The boy was so confused, the look on his face said it all.

"The sun's gonna start coming up soon so I'll see you tomorrow night meet me here 'kay?" I smiled at him.

"Uhm alright I guess-"

"Mhm" I cupped his face and pecked his cheek before turning and swimming away back into the sea.

Thanks for reading!

This is something I wrote about a month ago and just got around to editing, it’s more to introduce you to the characters and the way that sirens work in this world. I probably won’t include all of it in the final story but I wanted to give you a little taste of the story idea.

Taglists

General Writing - @weirdfishy @wannabeauthorzofija @annlillyjose @iespeciallyme @radiomacbeth @opes-magnas (ask to be +/-)

A Song From The Deep - (ask to be added)

[bangtan-sonyeonddaeng]

Intertwine our pinkies and promise me now

So~ For some reason since I’ve been sick I’ve been having really soft and fluffy dreams about BTS and this one I just had about Jimin. It was too cute not to share so here we are! I should mention in my dream BTS wasn’t a group, so it’s a non-idol Jimin AU I suppose. And just pure fluff.

You can’t sleep and go for a late night walk on the beach, only to hear a beautiful voice over the sound of the crashing waves. You are intrigued and approach the owner of the voice, only to meet a man with more stars in his eyes than the night sky surrounding you and a beauty and grace about him that would make an angel jealous. 

You tossed and turned back and forth trying to sleep. You tried opening your window to listen to the waves, listening to music, and just laying in complete silence but nothing relaxed you enough to sleep. You lifted up your phone and glanced at the clock, it was just after midnight. You were frustrated at how much sleep had been evading you lately, so you decided to go for a walk to see if that would clear your head enough or at the very least make you tired enough to sleep. You walk to the kitchen and grab a flash light and your jacket, opening the door and making the short walk from the street down to the beach. 

As you were approaching the sand you could see the figure of a human sitting at the edge of the water, with how close they were sitting you felt they must be getting soaked by the waves. You could make out a tuft of messy blonde hair and a soft white sweater. When you got closer you could hear singing, just barely. It was a little muffled because of the wind but nonetheless you were curious. You walked up closer, and when the wind suddenly changed direction the voice was crystal clear. You stopped in your tracks, checking your pulse to make sure you were still among the living because there is no way that is not an angel’s voice. You turn your flashlight off, opting to use the natural light of the moon and stars instead to light your path. Almost as if hearing the call of the pied piper you were in a trance, walking aimlessly towards the owner of the voice. You stopped just behind him and listened to him finishing the last few words of the song. 

saekkisongarak geolgo ijen naege yaksokhae oh oh

You closed your eyes for a moment and sighed happily. 

“Wow you have a beautiful voice.”  The person in front of you nearly jumps into the ocean with how bad you startled them. 

“AH! Oh my god don’t just sneak up on people like that you could give them a heart attack!” He turns around, hand over his heart and you feel the breath knocked out of you for a second time. 

“Oh wow and you’re really beautiful too. Did I actually fall asleep? Am I dreaming?” You pinch your cheeks and the blonde man starts giggling. Actually giggling and oh gosh it does things to your heart and it needs to stop. “Yep definitely dreaming. There’s no way someone like you can exist in real life.” You plop down on the sand and he’s still smiling at you, eyes disappearing into little crescent shapes and you’re so endeared. 

“Someone like me? How exactly do you mean?”

“I mean, first off. You have a the voice of an angel, the face of an angel, the giggle of an angel. Like, how does that even happen. Second, there’s no light out here on the beach but somehow your eyes are still sparkling.” He stops smiling and his cheeks puff up and turn bright red. 

“O-oh. Um.. well thank you.” 

“You’re welcome dream boy.” 

“D-dream boy?!”

“What else am I supposed to call you?”

“I have a name you know. It’s Jimin.”

“Ah you even have a lovely name. My brain really did dream up the most perfect boy to help me sleep this is lovely.” Jimin, as you now learned, is staring at you with his brows furrowed and head tiled in confusion.

“You actually think you’re asleep right now?”

“Yes. I already expl- ow! Why did you flick my forehead?!”

“To prove to you that you aren’t dreaming.” Once you realize that you indeed are awake, you are filled with embarrassment. You cover your face with your hands and shout loudly.

“Oh my god I can’t believe I said all of those things out loud I am so sorry. Gosh you probably think I am such a weirdo now.” 

“No no! It was... nice. Most people won’t tell you what they actually think about you when they first meet you so, that’s refreshing. Plus I’ve never really let anyone outside of my family hear me sing before so, to have a complete stranger that has no reason to lie to me tell me that I sound... hmm what was it, Like an angel?” You slap his arm playfully and go back to covering your face with your hands. “Sorry I’ll quit teasing you. It just, means a lot to me is all. I’ve been struggling trying to figure out if I should pursue a career in singing and dancing but, never really had the confidence to. So I came out here to sort out my thoughts.” You remove your hands from your face and find that he is staring openly at you now and you feel your cheeks heating up. You look away and can see him trying to hide the smile out of the corner of your eye. 

“You dance too?” You ask to try and distract yourself.

“Yeah. I have since I was really young. It’s my true passion in life and I absolutely love it.”

“Can I see?” His eyes widen in surprise. 

“You want to see me dance?”

“Only if you’re comfortable with it. I’ve already heard you sing so it’s only fair I see you dance too, right? That way I can give you my full opinion on if you should pursue a career in this.” 

“How do I know you won’t lie to me and just say I am good not to hurt my feelings?”

You shrug your shoulders.

“You don’t know. But I have no reason to lie to you. We probably will never see each other again after this. And I am not the type of person to sugar coat things. If you’re bad, I will tell you honestly.” 

“Ah, but that’s also what I am afraid of.” And admittedly he doesn’t know why, but he feels a little sad that you may never see each other after today. You seemed a little odd at first, but you showed him a kindness and honesty he never knew he needed.

“If you’re really passionate about this there is no way you will be bad. It will show through your dancing all of the hard work and love you put into it. Trust me, others can see those kinds of things.” You offer him a small encouraging smile and he nods, standing up to play music on his phone. It’s a song you’ve never heard before, but you instantly recognize the voice singing it as his own. 

i modeun geon uyeoni anya

The sound of the waves crashing on the shore, the houses around you, the little crabs scuttling along the beach, all of it disappears and all you see is the beautiful man dancing under the moonlight, all you hear is the angelic voice ringing out into the sky. He moves like he has wings, feet barely touching the ground as he spins and twirls. You can see in his movements that he has practiced hard, but how much he loves what he is doing is written all over his face. His eyes are absolutely shining, and the corners of his mouth are slightly upturned into a smile. The song comes to a close and you know you have tears collecting in your eyes. You sniffle and quickly wipe them away.

“That bad, huh?”

“Shut up. You know you were amazing. Did you write that song yourself?” He nods and sits down next to you, this time letting his thigh rest against your own. Normally you would shy away from contact from other people, especially a stranger, but you find yourself feeling comfortable around him despite only knowing him for less than an hour. 

“Did you honestly think it was good?” He’s playing with the sand, not meeting your gaze as he’s obviously nervous for your answer. 

“Jimin, look at me.” He turns his gaze towards you, expectant and anticipating your answer. 

“You have a gift, Jimin. One that should be shared with the world and not just some weird insomniac going for a walk on the beach at midnight in hopes of tiring myself out and catching an ounce of sleep. I am sure your voice and your dancing would be very healing to others as it was for me.” You smile and pat his knee and see his eyes starting to glisten. Before any tears can fall he hastily wipes them away as you had just done. 

“Thank you. That- really means a lot to me. And you’re not just anything.”

“What?”

“You said I am just a weird insomniac. You’re not that. Don’t say you’re just anything like you’re settling because I can tell you are really kind and have a big heart.” 

“You don’t even know me. I could be a serial killer planning to throw you to the sharks.” He laughs loudly at that throwing himself into you as he does, and you find that you hope he only smiles and laughs from now on because the sound is like the sweetest melody.

“I think if you were going to do that you would have done it by now. Besides I don’t know very many people that would stop to help some stranger this late at night having an existential crisis. So again just, thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” You two sit in silence after that, just enjoying each other’s company, watching the waves crash against the shore as some gently lap at your toes when they work their way up shore. It doesn’t go unnoticed by you that his hand is still resting on your thigh from where he was bracing himself against it while he was laughing. You feel your face heating up again and not even the cool ocean breeze is helping. 

“I should probably head back home now. I am feeling a little tired now and I definitely think I can get some good sleep.” 

“Oh... okay.” You can hear disappointment in his voice. 

“Do you live here?” You ask.

“Yeah. Do you?”

“No, just visiting for the summer.”

“When do you leave?”

“Hmm like another month?”

“Then.. never mind. You should get your sleep, I won’t keep you longer than I already have.” 

“No, what is it? You can talk to me.” 

“Can we... meet again tomorrow?” That surprises you. You weren’t expecting him to want to see you again.

“Sure.” 

“I thought so, I’m sorry for- wait did you say yes?”

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I? I feel like we really bonded out here tonight.” He chuckles at that and you return his laughter with a smile of his own.

“Same time?”

“Sure, I probably won’t sleep again. And even if I was tired I would still come out here to talk to you.” You don’t know if it’s the shadows playing tricks on you but you swear you see a little blush coloring his cheeks.

“Pinky promise?”

“What?” Jimin holds out his pinky and you try not to squeal over how small and adorable it is. 

“Intertwine your pinky with mine and promise you’ll come back here tomorrow.” You smile and link your pinky with his.

“I promise I will see you tomorrow. Bye Jimin.” You let your hand drop and turn around and start to walk away before a shout cause you to turn back around. 

“Wait! I just realized you never told me your name.” 

“It’s y/n.” You turn back around and walk back towards the house. 

“Y/n...” Jimin decides he likes your name and the way it sounds on his lips. He hopes this is the start of something beautiful between you two. Even if it’s just friendship, he won’t ask for more than that. It feels as if fate made sure the two of you ran into each other tonight. He smiles down at his pinky before walking back towards his home, wanting to sleep and bring him that much closer to seeing you again. 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #388

“i wanna stay inside all day  /  i want the world to go away  /  i want blood, guts, and chocolate cake  /  i wanna be a real fake”

Name three people who you'll never forget: I doubt I'd forget Jason even if, God forbid, I had dementia. That's trauma for ya. I HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHLY doubt I could EVER forget my mom, either. In many different ways, she's literally kept me alive and has done so, so much for me. Then there's also Sara, whose friendship with me matches no one else I've been friends with. Have you ever been told you are fake? No. What was the name of the last pet of yours that died? Teddy, my dog. Do you like pineapple? I do. When was the last time you wished the day would just get over with? I know this sounds seriously depressing, but that's... pretty much every day. My life is just currently such a drag that being awake bores me senseless. But it's funny, because then some nights I stay up late for like... no reason. My existence alone is confusing. Is there any specific number that has any significance to you? No. Do you remember much from high school? I remember a lot from high school. Where would you go for the ultimate honeymoon? Isn't there a black sand beach in Iceland or something? Take me there, man. I'd also love to go to the Bahamas, but ew humidity and also I'm afraid of the Bermuda Triangle lmfao. If you had to get a tattoo tomorrow, what would you get? The big piece I want to get on my left upper arm; it's called "Denialism" by NukeRooster on deviantART. I got her permission forever ago to get it tattooed. Do you have any alarms set? What time and what for? Not currently. Have you ever had to work while there was a film crew at your work place? No. Have you ever supported anyone’s Kickstarter? If so, what was it? No. What do you like in your omelet? Ham pieces and cheese. Have you ever boycotted something? Yes: Chick-fil-A. Homophobic, transphobic pieces of shit aren't getting my business. Has anyone ever borrowed something from you, and not returned it? Yes. Most notably a video game I LOOOOVED as a kid. I was mad salty and still am lmao. Do you vent a lot on social media? God no, not anymore after embarrassing the everliving FUCK out of myself with a suicide note. What was your first bill you started paying on your own? I don't pay any bills bc unemployed. .-. Do you watch ASMR videos? No. What is your favorite charitable cause to donate to or volunteer for? The Trevor Project. Have you ever received a misdiagnosis? Yes. A psychiatrist I had in middle school thought I had ADHD, which was ABSOLUTELY ludicrous. Most recently, my long-time bipolar 2 diagnosis has been questioned, but I do think I have it. I think. Does it bother you when others don’t share the same religious beliefs as you? No? Freedom of religion is a thing. What was your last argument about? Ummmm... I don't remember. Probably something with Mom. Have you found your first gray hairs yet? No. Somehow. You'd think all the stress would have me pure gray by now, lol. What are the names of all the pets you’ve had? Dude, I've had WAY too many for this. What’s the most you’ve ever spent on a cosmetic or skincare product? *shrug* Who was the last person that invited you to go somewhere? Did you accept? Mom invited me to come with her to Nicole's to get out of the house because at the time our A/C was still out. I didn't want to go, even though damn did I suffer, haha. What was the last food item that you toasted, other than bread? That's... a great question. I don't know if I toast anything other than bread. Have you ever named any of your pets after a cartoon character? I remember I had a cat named Taz when I was younger. What was the last thing that someone else recommended, or suggested you try? My TMS doctor is like SUPER friendly and makes the treatment go by so fast (it's exactly 22 minutes and 30 seconds; don't ask why), and recently she was fangirling to Mom and me about the show Once Upon a Time, haha. I saw very little of it with Jason, but Mom did check it out. When was the last time you wore a hat? What kind? I have zero idea. When was the last time you ate a bowl of ice-cream? What flavour? Oh wow, it's been a long time. It was probably vanilla with chocolate syrup? If you menstruate, has your cycle ever synced with anyone close to you? Yes. Tell me something positive about the town or city that you live in. ... You said "positive," right? Did your parents have high expectations for you to excel in school and go to college/university? Yes. They were pretty serious about going to college when my sisters and I were younger, but they opened up to the concept that maybe it wasn't for all of us (coughmecough). Are you a polite person? I genuinely think I am. I definitely try to be. Have you ever been in a relationship where everything with your partner felt natural and effortless? Sigh. Yeah. Have you ever been in a relationship where everything was difficult and rocky? No. That's not the kind I'd stay in very long at all. I mean yes, there are always bumps, but there comes a point where you gotta say fuck nah and find something better. When you were a teenager, did your parents set rules about dating? Other than keeping age gaps in mind, no. Have you ever committed a crime that directly harmed another person? No. Did you grow up in an urban, suburban, or rural area? My childhood home was suburban, but leaned towards rural. We were on the very edge of the town. Which disease do you personally think is the most horrible? After seeing my mother suffer from borderline stage 4 ovarian cancer, I've gotta say cancer. My mother is the strongest person I know and yet she cried so frequently from chemotherapy. It broke my fucking heart. The person I copied the survey from mentioned especially childhood cancers, and I have to agree. Like just... why. "Everything happens for a reason." Bull. Fucking. Shit. Just TRY and convince me why a young child has to deal with CANCER. Do you remember where you first drove to after getting your license? I still don't have my license, as I've said in many a survey before. What did you get into trouble for the most when you were a kid? Being on the computer too much. What is your biological sex? Female. Do you use online dating? Or do you use another method for finding dates? Nah. I'm at the point in my life where I wanna let love just find me and not actively search for it. What is the oldest gaming console you own? We MIGHT still have our old Atari? If not, it'd be a GameBoy Advance. Which accents can you emulate pretty well? Just British. Do you think you'll ever manage to do everything you want to? No. But then again, I think that sounds pretty realistic? I doubt most people check off everything on their bucket list. What do you fear most? Probably becoming truly homeless, living on the streets. Do you wear shoes around the house? No. Are you a good driver? If you can't drive yet, do you think you'll be good? I mean, I'm not the worst in the world. My mom's always pointed out though that I ride on the brakes (which I do out of fear) and I tend to speed up and slow down quite a bit. I also stop kinda abruptly sometimes. What is/was your favorite thing about school? Seeing friends. What are you most likely to spend money on? My own personal money, tattoos, lol. Have you ever been a complete fangirl/fanboy over anything? @_@ Do you hate how, when the public like a celebrity, they overpublicize them? I feel bad for them, more than anything. You breathe wrong and suddenly it's news-worthy. It's like your every inconsequential action is under heavy surveillance and judgment, and it seems so unfair. Have you ever became attracted to someone you weren’t at first because their personality made you find them physically attractive? That was Jason for me. I never thought he was ugly, but regardless, he became THE most attractive man in the world to me. Have you ever worked in retail? Yes. -_- Are you even a little bit racist? Nah man, it's 2021, baby. Were you more fond of swings, monkey bars, or seesaws as a child? I was all about the swings. Do you believe in a near-future apocalyptic event? I don't know or care, honestly. A gamma ray or whatever they're called could incinerate us all tomorrow. A black hole could swallow the earth in an hour. We don't know. Do you have a chandelier in your home? No. Do you have a bar with stools? No. Is your Christmas tree faux or real? If faux, what color? We use a fake green one. Do you eat the crusts of your bread? Yes; it's the first part I eat. Which body type would you say you had? Did you know whales can survive on land? :^) Have you ever flown a kite? Yeah! I used to LOVE doing that with Dad as a kid when the field across our house wasn't in use (tobacco was grown there). What’s your preferred flavour of jam? I just like grape. What kind of animal did you last pet? My cat! Name a celebrity that you admire that nobody would expect you to: I massively admire Jeffree Star's work ethic. Do you prefer to shave or wax? Shave. I used to wax my eyebrows, but now I just don't care. Would you ever have sex in a public place? Uh, no. Do you think Jenna Marbles’ videos are funny? I've actually never watched her. Your favourite pasta dish: Just your normal spaghetti with meatballs. Strangest thing you’ve ever seen? Probably what I'm assuming was a star (but it was green???) flickering and then fizzling out of the sky kind of like some sort of backwards firework. I'd been watching it literally grow over a few nights, so when this happened, it was a big "?????? the fuck??????". It honestly scared me for some reason so I went inside after that. Aliens? I say aliens. Ever had a crush on somebody of the same sex? Yes. Has anybody ever called you a bastard? I don't think so. Who is the last person you ignored? uhhhhhhh Would you wear feathers in your hair? So actually, for my first prom, I wanted to wear a blue jay feather I had in my hair, reason being Jason's nickname from his parents was always "J Bird." It ended up not working out because we couldn't make it look natural with what we had. When was the last time you were well and truly scared? Hm. Favourite member of your favourite band: Ozzy, obviously, haha. Who’s your favourite female rapper? I don't have one.