#after coming out to someone as aroace for the first time did something to me i think (it made me cry and cry and cry)

[lexalovesbooks]

Anyways. I know most of the fans prefer them romantically but QPR rune and brand is so real and so important to me. A book series where the main character has a love interest and yet the person who is most important to him, the person who is his soulmate and who he is sharing a love story with is unequivocally still his best friend is so. I don’t even know how to put it into words but it means everything to me

[fandomapocalypse]

Love and relationships in Hazbin Hotel

Episode 7 has something interesting and in the song that is called "Out for love" is sung by a character that is referring to a type of love different from a romantic or sexual one, Carmilla is openly talking about familial love. Vaggie of course relates this to her romantic feelings towards Charlie and how she wants to help her. But something else interesting happens in episode 7, Rosie is properly introduced as Alastor's bestie. This leads to showing another type of love: platonic love.

Now to the main point of this post: Alastor. It's canon that he is aroace and as an ace myself (I'm still questioning whether I'm aromantic or demiromantic but this post isn't about me lol) I'm extremely happy to see myself through him. Plus, the fact that the perfect Tumblr sexyman is aroace is genius and hilarious, you can't possibly top this type of humor.

Alastor for me has been a great ace representation and I've seen myself mainly in how he acts around his friends or other people.

When it comes to Niffty it looks more like a relationship between someone with their feral cat or their crazy little sister. But it's still a genuine connection and a fun chaotic one at that, he even lets her touch his hair and climb on him. In regards to Mimzy, he has shown he cares about her and welcomes her with open arms. He openly hugs her, which shocks everyone in the cast. This is extremely important because Alastor usually only starts physical contact to mock others or to pretend physical closeness as a manipulation tactic (like he often does with Charlie). When it comes to people he hates Alastor may touch them but will quickly wipe his hand on his clothes, like what he did with Lucifer. Personally, I don't like personal contact and only accept it if I start it and usually I use it as a way to show affection with close friends. Also, they have known each other since they were alive, so Mimzy probably knows a lot about Alastor that the rest of the cast doesn't. Mimzy also says that they used to dance together. But that doesn't exclude the fact that she uses Alastor's friendship and affection to save her own ass and taking into account how Husk reacted to Mimzy, this isn't the first time she does this. Also, the relationship between the two starts to crumble after what happened in episode 6 and Mimzy seems to be the kind of friend who will pretend that they are still on good terms and still ask Alastor for favors in the future.

Now jumping back to Alastor's true bestie: Rosie. They probably bonded at first over their cannibalistic natures but it's clear that it evolved beyond that. Personally, I don't ship Alastor with anyone, but when it comes to Rosie I headcanon they are in a QPR.

There are various reasons why this relationship is so great and wholesome, the first one being that there is no power imbalance, they are equals. Both are cannibalistic overlords and are on equal footing in terms of power. When Rosie first sees Alastor she is genuinely happy which is something new because most people react badly to him out of fear or hatred.

Alastor respects Rosie, he even compliments her, in her introduction he says she is "the most darling, delightful, and dangerous Overlord of this side of the pentagram". Considering how self-centered and narcissistic he can be, it means a lot. Alastor would rather die again than compliment another Overlord who isn't Zestial, which he respects but out of fear. Alastor respects Rosie as his close friend. When they stand next to each other they give an air of equals, something that never happens thanks to Alastor's ego and sadism towering over everyone else. With Rosie it's different and Rosie can openly tease Alastor with the "Look at you, so polite! Alastor you can learn a thing or two" when comparing him to Charlie when meeting her, or "I'm just kidding, I know you're an ace in the hole" to tease him about his asexuality. This is something that not a lot of people can do because Alastor is obsessed with control and respect. After all, we see how badly he reacted when Husk insulted him.

He also harmonizes with her, he willingly makes a duet with her in "Ready for this". He isn't interrupting her, instead, he agrees with her and they sing together in unison. This is the first time he doesn't openly hijack a song or fight for control over it, like he did with Vox and Lucifer (although this also happened because this is Charlie's song, but who cares the point still stands). Also, this is the first time we see him dance with someone, instead of forcing them to join his musical number (like he does with Charlie on various occasions). Alastor and Rosie are in perfect sync and it's so wholesome and precious to see him being so openly happy with her. Many have pointed out that the only times Alastor is genuinely smiling is when he is with Rosie and it shows by his expression in his eyes.

Finally, Rosie is the only one capable of bringing the most human emotions out of him, the most obvious one being confusion. In the scene of "ace in the hole" Rosie manages to confuse and surprise Alastor for a solid second, which is a huge change of his persona around everyone else of control and manipulation. Also, it's hilarious that Alastor doesn't know what being aroace is, he probably thinks he is above all that.

He is openly relaxed around Rosie and lets her touch him in an affectionate way, something that not even Mimzy can do. It may be because of the height difference but Mimzy only touches Alastor to hug him and to emphasize he is a "heartless son of a bitch" and Alastor clearly gets irritated by her touching him that way and even moves her finger away from him. This never happens with Rosie and he even welcomes her touching him by not having any walls with her. It's Rosie the one starting the physical contact and Alastor doesn't seem to mind and he never tries to use physical contact to take advantage of her like he does with other characters. Rosie is one of the few people who can touch Alastor without losing an arm and instead have a positive reaction out of him.

The most genuine relationship Alastor has is with Rosie, he even has the confidence and comfort to stop his elegant and reserved persona of not swearing. Which he only does when he is truly angry, like what happened with Lucifer. Or when he is threatening someone like he did with Adam. Or when he is shocked when his microphone breaks. He swears to insult Susan, which is someone they both despise equally. Something that you would only do with your closest bestie.

Finally, let's talk about Alastor's breakdown in the last episode. We've already seen that Alastor is capable of having friendships that aren't based on an end goal. Alastor knows this but he rejects it because he is at the hotel originally for selfish goals and doesn't want his emotions to get in the way. He is terrified of ruining his reputation as a sadistic killer and becoming an altruistic who cares about his friends. Alastor wants to stop himself from starting to care about the crew the same way he cares about Rosie, Mimzy, or Nifty to some degree. This is confirmed by his conversation with Niffty, where he admits he has grown accustomed to the main crew and perhaps he is growing feelings of affection towards them in his own way.

In regards to shipping him with Rosie, I see it as a platonic ship or a QPR. Some people have a headcanon that if they had known each other when they were alive they would have married for tax benefits and to avoid the social stigma, which is the only right answer. When they first met in hell they probably had dates in cannibal town where they ate human flesh while gossiping and trash-talked about the other overlords. Which is exactly what an ace person like myself wants from a close friendship.

As an ace, I really like Alastor not because he is the ultimate Tumblr sexyman or see him as hot but because he is an extremely fun character that I can relate to. I'm grateful for the crew and VA that take into account he is aroace and take seriously that aspect of his character. I don't mind that the aroace representation in Hazbn Hotel is a narcissistic psychopath, if you want a more wholesome ace representation you can check Todd in Bojack Horseman or Saiki in The Disastrous Life of Saiki K.

I don't mind people shipping Alastor, after all, it's just people having fun, but you can't ignore that he is aroace and how this affects his relationships. So yeah have fun and respect and aroace community :)

ok thanks for hearing my rant bye

[bindeds]

⊹・° ｡ㅤ BOYFRIEND VOX / LUCIFER / ALASTOR X FEM READER HEADCANONS ! — now i know alastor is aroace so i am once again making a post that acknowledges that as much as possible, meaning his headcanons can also be seen as platonic and his nsfw section doesn’t involve him engaging in the act of sex. i also made an aroace friendly headcanons post on alastor if you wanna check that out!

contains nsfw (+18) and it will be in a separate section <3 please credit me if you use these gifs!

mlist. request status.

VOX.

this man pampers the SHIT out of you and you cannot tell me otherwise. if you’re out walking in the streets of hell and you so much as look at a branded purse for a second longer than usual, it’s in your hands within the next five seconds. same goes for literally anything—clothes, shoes, sunglasses, books, anything you could want that isn’t a gadget, because he already gives you his latest models—only the finest for his girl.

he teleports to your phone screen whenever you ignore him, and you don’t tell him that you find it particularly endearing. the way he’s just so whiny for your attention that he’d act all petty and crash all your apps so you’re forced to look him in the face.

has the most funniest fucking pet names for you i just KNOW IT HAHA like think shrek’s prince charming. i just know that when you call him from a different room he’d definitely say shit like “just a second honey kisses!” like HAHAH I CAN’T GET THIS OUT OF MY HEAD

DEFINITELY loves having you sit on his lap while he works. i just know this man is a thigh grabber.

he loves when you dress in sweater vests, preferably in brighter colors but it’s cute when you use more muted colors as well.

relating back to my first point, this man loves taking you to extravagant AND I MEAN extravagant dates. i imagine one of them would be getting the both of you a literal floating table in the red skies of hell so you can see the entire pentagram from where you dine. he would have the food freshly delivered from the finest chefs he knows but he also seems like the type who would forget your favorite food, then demand that the food switched out with a snap of his fingers.

i’m judging this purely off of ‘stayed gone’ but he has a TON of terrible jokes up his sleeves, and they border on dad jokes at this point. you simply roll your eyes and kiss him for being so silly.

i just know this man comes home to you and WHINES. like, no matter what it is, he’ll always have something to complain about from work and you’re happy to listen to him bitch and moan about the smallest things ever. he also lays down on your lap and you to rub his shoulders and console him, whatever it is. you know he appreciates it because he usually always responds with something along the lines of “you’re right, baby, i do push myself too hard!” and you coo at him while continuing to console him further.

VOX NSFW !

i know he definitely gets irritated when someone interrupts his work but would be so into having sex on the job, and even loves ignoring calls from the vees for you. but of course doing it one too many times has its consequences, and he laughs nervously the one time he backs out. i can just imagine him going, “oh, haha, uh—sorry baby, i uh—listen i know we usually—it’s—FUCK um—just—just five minutes okay baby?”

i know this man’s hickeys feel like tiny zaps on your skin, and the marks reflect that instead of bruises

regarding the ‘sitting on his lap’ thing … you tried riding his thigh once and he DID NOT like that. seconds after you were sitting on his cock, crying his name from how he was just pumping into you mercilessly.

“still wanna tease me on my own fucking thigh, sweetie?” he clicks his tongue and grunts right after, his hands on your waist was enough to leave bruises.

that being said, he makes sure valentino never catches sight of you. the things you do to this man is beyond anything he could have thought and somehow, he feels uneasy at the fact that the way you have sex with him was DEFINITELY porn worthy and the thought of you being on camera in that way makes him want to wrap all of himself around you like a blanket to cover you from all of hell.

LUCIFER.

ironically, this man does NOT give you the world. instead, he gives you casual nights out turned into nights where you share all your secrets with him, and he tells you everything might not be okay now, or ever, but whatever it is, he’ll be right there with you. think going to your favorite diners, cruising and carpooling along the quieter side of hell, screaming at the top of your lungs. this man is all about authenticity. he wants the bond, not the experience.

that doesn’t mean he doesn’t spoil you every now and then—he definitely does research on the best bars in the ring and takes you out every month during your monthsaries and gets you at least 10 different gifts—half of which are little trinkets you and him picked up from your little adventures together.

unironically so fucking good at picking out jewelry for you. you don’t know how he does it, but every time you both visit a jewelry store, you always pick out necklaces and rings and he always comes to you with pieces that just look way more stunning on you. he always insists on being the one to slip the rings onto your fingers or chain the necklaces at the back of your neck, and he always flies up to do it.

he sometimes visits you as a bird and flies through your window. you like stroking his little cheek and it always causes him to transform suddenly which catches you off guard, and he uses this opportunity to kiss you.

he makes rubber duckies modeled after you!! all of them have different outfits from all the times you spend together.

forehead touches. so important for him, he does it so often and it’s nothing short of endearing.

this man COOKS and he COOKS WELL. every now and then when you both stay home he always whips up five-star restaurant grade steak for you, same goes for his carbonara, fish and chips, ramen, fried rice, stew—whatever it is, he loves making it with his own two hands and loves cooking for you.

lucifer makes his own clothes seeing as his hat has a gold snake and an apple on it which only really related to him, and he also has a unique circus vibe to his clothing. he made his clothes out of magic but after meeting you he wanted to get into sewing to make you something from scratch.

LUCIFER NSFW !

i absolutely agree with a lot of lucifer stans on him being a definite switch BUT i just know that if this man tops, he tops HARD. i mean, we’re talking about the angel who successfully seduced not just the FIRST WOMAN to ever exist, but the SECOND TOO. WHILE SHE WAS LOYAL TO ADAM. I FEEL LIKE THAT SPEAKS FOR ITSELF

he’d definitely do a multitude of things while trying out a few kinks to see just what kind of top flusters you. if you like service tops, he found out when he insisted on fingering you right after he’d brought you to orgasm with his tongue. dominant top? he found out when he crawled on top of you and said, “take it off for me, lovely.” all while leaving a trail of hickeys all from your jaw all the way down to your collarbone. the list goes on.

no matter if he tops or bottoms, this man begs, and its especially orgasm-worthy when he does it as a bottom. you’re riding him to your own climax and he’s close too and he goes, “ohhh god fuck please let me cum honey—let me cum please fuck! can i cum can i cum my love? i won’t until you say so oh fuck please baby—”

he knows when you’re pent up. apparently you give of a certain set of cues through body language only he sees and he’s observed it from you in all sorts of situations; going out with friends, sitting in bed with a book, tapping a pencil to your lip—it doesn’t matter what you’re doing. he can tell. and he never tells you how.

seeing as he usually has to fly up to kiss you on the lips, he takes every opportunity he has in bed just to kiss you. he could be going so damn rough on you that the neighbors can hear and he’d still be making out with you so damn hard.

definitely prides himself on cunnilingus. i know everyone mentions this because of the v he made to his lips but it just makes sense for him to do that if he’s good at it! he becomes a grunting, begging, whimpering mess when you suck him off but when he eats you out? you compare it to how restaurants have a signature dish—lucifer’s is whatever miracles he can perform with his tongue.

ALASTOR.

i think this is obvious because he literally hosts possibly the most famous radio broadcast in the entire ring, but this man has a way with words.

“to put it simply my dear, i just never thought the stars could walk on dirty streets, let alone ones that belong in hell,” he sighs with an almost dreamy tone to it as he rested chin on his knuckles, leaning closer to you from the other side of the table with his elbow propped up on it. “but it seems you’re living proof of that.”

you took that as his way of explaining his aromanticism and asexuality to you, even if he isn’t fully aware of those terms yet.

“how did a lovely thing like you end up with a gruesome animal such as myself?”

nonetheless, you and him are partners and he owns it, even if he’ll never admit that it is daunting for someone who has never felt this way about anyone else before. someone who has never liked anyone romantically before. he owns it because he doesn’t want the one person he’s ever loved to slip from his grasp. not when he was just so used to getting what he wants using his own bare hands.

seeing as he is aroace, he doesn’t kiss you directly on the lips but hugs you all the time and maybe kisses cheek-to-cheek.

he listens to your gossip and even arranges dates for you both to properly get together and just dish. he gossips back sometimes too, but not too much as he feels like that would be like treating you like the other friends he has. he’d rather spend this time he has with you focusing on, well, you, not other people’s foolish mistakes. but he sees how excited you are to tell him these things sometimes so, he listens still.

regularly slow dances with you, especially to old romantic songs the both of you like. it’s one of the rare times physical contact doesn’t feel foreign to him as he’s danced with many women, and he actually finds it endearing when you press your head on his chest. it shows that you feel safe around him, and that’s the best thing that could happen for him when you’re dating one of the most feared and powerful overlords in hell.

always does house chores with you even though he could use his powers to just speed up the process. something about cleaning up together just feels so intimate to him compared to physical touch.

ALASTOR NSFW !

he hates being touched, no question about that—but he also doesn’t like to see you pent up. he understands that everyone has their own desires, however filthy they might be—but your own are as good as sacred. you’re the one thing he treasures beyond all others and just as you can’t change the fact that he’s aroace, he can’t change the fact that you have needs.

so he comes up with something just for you; he asks if it would help if he talked you through it. praising or degrading you, whichever you prefer. telling you how much he misses having your hands on his, feeling you close to him. when he says this, he imagines you both dancing as you usually do, but of course, as you masturbate, you’re thinking of something else. this happens when he’s not in the room but he leaves his mic behind to act as a phone for the both of you.

“are you close, love? will you finish for me?” “y-yes …” “good girl.”

i imagine after a while of being with him, he would have seen you naked a few times on accident but he brushes it off well because there’s never anything sexual tied to it. so, when he is in the room while you get off, he’d use his powers to have a glowing green chain around your neck as he pulls your face closer to his.

“do you like it when i do this to you, hm? tell me just how much you relish being my good girl.”

[pannman]

Sleeping Together

Platonic!Lucifer x fennec fox Reader, slight platonic! Angel Dust x reader at the end. Let me know If you want part 2 I have some cool ideas for more

Cw: awkward situations ig, I'm aroace so I like unconventional platonic relationships, some swearing and suggestiveness from Angel

Being a small fennec fox demon wasn't easy. You were known for your small size and cuteness. So you were often seen as easy prey. But you also were so cute and incredibly soft that many couldn't resist touching you. You were used to it to some degree. But for some reason you still didn't see this coming.

It was the middle of the night and you had snuck out of your room and crept through the hotel to grab yourself a midnight snack. You were startled by the sound of someone entering the kitchen and discovered it was Lucifer (looking incredibly sleep deprived). You apologized immediately. "Oh sorry I was just grabbing a snack" you explained. "Sometimes I get cravings at night. I woke up a couple times tonight and couldn't get food off my mind maybe cause-" you stopped after realizing that not only was Lucifer not listening but he was staring at you like he was in a sleepy trance.

Not quite aware of what he was doing he kneeled down a bit and reached his hand towards you. He began petting you on the head and behind the ears. You at first were frozen unable to think of what to do before you melted at the touch of being petted. It was a weakness of yours. Before you knew it he had you in his arms carrying you off while scratching behind your ear. He took you into his room and petted you on his bed. He could not stop yawning. You were too comfortable to question what was going on and Lucifer was too tired and distracted to realize what he was doing

You woke up cozily tucked into Lucifer's arms before memories came flooding back and you tried to wiggle free. Lucifer woke up with a moan and noticed his hold on you before releasing you in a panic. "OHHHhhh. My gosh! I'm so sorry... this is-this is weird. I've never done this before" he was extremely apologetic and embarrassed. You calmed yourself and even though it was awkward quickly realized he was being genuine. "It's alright. Let's-let's just try and pretend this never happened" you said trying to make it less awkward. "Yes. Well um... yeah that's probably for the best"

Though you guys acted weird around each other all day it seemed like it was gonna stay in the past. That is until you got a knock at your door at 3 am. You opened it to see Lucifer with bags under his eyes with a nervous expression. "Hi, I hope I didn't wake you..." Lucifer began cautiously. "Whats going on?" You asked. "Look, i know we said we'd pretend like it never happened but I actually have never slept that good in my life. I... I don't sleep the greatest. Especially not since Lilith left. I tried really hard to put it outta mind tonight but I couldn't help it. I was wondering if... if..." He fumbled and turned red with embarrassment and you of course caught on to what he was trying to ask

"A sleepover every now and then couldn't hurt" you agreed careful with your wording as to not make either of you more uncomfortable. "But, I don't want you to get the wrong idea. No hanky panky, no dinner dates" you spoke clearly and strictly. "Wouldn't dream of it. Sooo... platonic?" He responded. "Platonic" you confirmed.

"Also, let's keep this between you and me" you stated. You didn't want people at the hotel (Angel) cracking jokes and you didn't want them to get the wrong idea either. It was something better kept private you thought. Lucifer nodded "of course"

That night led to many others. You and Lucifer spent so many nights together that you started to develop a strong bond. It was an odd relationship but you were grateful for it. That was until one glorious morning you awoke bright and early (as you usually did to avoid suspicion) and you crept out of Lucifer's room so you could head back to your own but as you closed Lucifer's door behind you heard a certain someone catch you in act.

"Wow, never thought you and the big dick in charge would be a thing" Angel grinned as you sighed and turned around to face him. "So how long you two been getting frisky? Man the broads are gonna flip" you wanted to slap him but unfortunately you couldn't reach. "It's not like that" you tried to explain. "Oh please, you sneaking out of his room early in the morning in your jammies? You think I'm fuckinh dense?" He questioned and you let out a heavy sigh realizing you had to tell him the truth or things would get very awkward soon.

You relayed the whole thing onto him. You hoped he would believe you. You knew this was definitely unconventional so you weren't sure. Finally you finished telling him what was going on and how it happened. "Soo... you guys just been sleeping together bit ACTUALLY sleeping?" He sounded surprised but it seemed like he believe you. "Yes" you answered with relief. "...All because you're like... this magical cure for insomnia?" He sounded a bit off when he asked that and you weren't sure why. "Yeah I guess... I don't know..."

"Can I give it a try?"

[ririban]

I really cannot fully explain just how much The Case Files of Jeweler Richard means to me. I will never not be grateful about having come across it when I did. Like, I’m from India, and India isn’t the best place to actually be exposed to what being queer means. For the longest time I didn’t even know that the acronym went beyond the letter T. The word aromantic meant nothing to me because it wasn’t a word I knew. All I knew was that when my friends were getting crushes and dating, I was desperately trying to find new excuses for why I didn’t have anyone I was interested in. Because “I don’t want to be in a relationship” was an answer that earned me strange looks.

I did eventually learn that something called aromanticism exists by the time I went to college, but I never really bothered to learn what that entailed. Then I met a friend who happened to be asexual, and she pointed out that based on what I told her, I might be aroace. And I thought about it for a while, but wasn’t really convinced. More importantly, the idea of sticking a label to myself kinda scared me because it felt like it was something irreversible.

And then Jeweler Richard happened. I really enjoyed the first episode, even shed a couple of tears. The inclusion of a canon lesbian character in the second episode was a pleasant surprise (I did not know about Tatsuki back then. Present day me is annoyed we never got to see her in the anime). But it went from an anime I simply enjoyed to a story I absolutely fell in love with in episode 8: The Angel's Aquamarine. This was the episode in which we first found out about Tanimoto’s views on romance, and I found myself understanding where she was coming from. Online people were discussing how she came off as aromantic, and that made me think again. But, again, “sticking�� that label to me wasn’t something I was comfortable with.

That changed when I came across a certain passage in volume 6. For those of you who haven’t read the novel yet and are okay with spoilers, Tanimoto visits Étranger after being invited by Seigi. There she has a conversation with Richard, during which he tells her this:

“Humans are creatures that can only recognize the present moment as reality. But that present changes, moment by moment. For example, someone who was bisexual in their twenties might decide to identify as heterosexual in their thirties. Or someone who considered themself heterosexual at age seventeen might realize that they’re gay at age twenty-five. Someone who may have considered themself polyamorous and open to relationships with anyone might feel as though they’ve met their soulmate at age fifty-five and become monogamous. Of course, this isn’t true of everyone—but from a statistical perspective, changes of this nature aren’t at all unusual. It’s just like how, if left to their own devices, our hair and nails will continue to grow.”

The reason I was scared of declaring myself as aro was because I worried that it was something I’d never be able to take back. That becoming aro to the people around me wouldn’t allow me to one day say, “no, I don’t think I actually am aromantic”. I would’ve rather stayed in a state of being confused than make a decision I couldn’t undo. But then Richard told Tanimoto that it’s fine. It’s fine to change your mind later on. That a label isn’t fixed to you, and isn’t something you have to carry throughout your life if it’s something you no longer identify with. And idk if I can even begin to explain how important that was to me. Because those were the words I needed.

It’s okay that I’m not interested in being in a relationship. It’s okay if I call myself aro. It’s okay for me to no longer make up excuses because a simple “I’m not interested in dating” is enough. This is a comparison that only Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint fans will get, but The Case Files of Jeweler Richard is to me what Three Ways to Survive the Apocalypse is to Kim Dokja. JR did not save my life in the way that TWSA did for Kim Dokja, but it had a bigger impact on my life than any other story. I’d like to believe that the love I have for JR is similar to the love Dokja holds for TWSA.

As a final point, this confidence in myself and my identity isn’t all that JR gave me. Another important thing that happened in my life thanks to it is that I made many lovely friends in the fandom 💕

[amypihcs]

So i'm dead.

@contact-guy's beautiful comic (i loved it, truly, it killed me.) and watching Hellsing with an offline friend of mine killed me THROUGHLY.

And since i fear i'm figuring out how Holmes and Watson's relationship will evolve into @contact-guy's comic serie i'll curse you with the HCs i made with my dear @i-dont-talk-for-days-on-end today talking about my future drawing of Watson with his loves, Holmes and Mary.

You can probably tell i'm emotionally devastated because my writing is more inconsistent than my usual.

So.

For me is very important that Mary gets treated well, since she exists in canon and is a fantastic woman. And i also love to think that she and Holmes are friends, after all they both love Watson.

My take is, Watson and Mary have kind of a façade marriage based on good friendship and comradeship but without love and generally without sex.

This could work in two ways, both of which are incredibly nice one:

Aroace Mary who needs some sort of social respectability coming from a marriage and got lucky enough to find a man as good and kind as Watson who is more than willing to help her to achieve it without endangering her

Lesbian or Bi Mary in a relationship with a girl, probably her ex employer, could be someone else, who still needs the respectability and stability coming from a marriage and is still lucky enough to find our favourite bisaster, Dr John H. Watson, who is also bisexual and in a relationship with a man and would benefit a lot from the cover of a respectable marriage.

The first one is rather easy to treat. Watson and Mary make good friends during Sign of Four, Holmes notices/guesses that Mary is acespec like him (my Headcanon for Holmes is that he is demigay) and when Watson proposes and she accepts they put immediately straight that it won't be a consummated marriage, ever.

The second one develops in the same way, and this makes so much more explainable the many times Mary is mentioned to be away visiting relatives in canon. Mary is with her partner, Watson is with his partner.

Now angst warning!

Sherlock Holmes looks very favorably upon Watson's marriage, he is in fact the one that pushes Watson into it, and for very good reasons.

Let's put sign of four in 1887, alright? Chances are high he was already pursuing Moriarty, or that he generally was realizing more and more the risk of dying on the job, well, Holmes is a smart man. And a clever, practical and caring one as well. he is a man who loves deeply and cares deeply and wants to always have his affairs in order.

Is it too much of a stretch to imagine that he realizes the higher and higher risk of SOMETHING BAD happening? I don't think so. And he knows that Watson could get caught in the crossfire and he wants of course to protect Watson and offer him some saving net.

He pushes Watson into this marriage that will not mean the end of their relationship but the creation of another meaningful relationship for his love, so that SHOULD I DIE he will have someone to help him weather the storm (would watson care, would he? nobody ever did, but WATSON. Watson cares for everyone... would watson care...). The marriage also means that he will go back into practice, and this is an economic safe net, something always good. Their relationship is of course carefully concealed but such a handsome, sociable, perfect man as Watson is staying unmarried and living with a bachelor friend might give rouse to suspects, marriage will give his incredible partner respectability, something Moriarty or anybody won't dare to attack without sure cards in his hands, and Holmes will make sure NOBODY has any such cards.

Holmes is no coward, but he's not stupid either. He knows his job is dangerous and it might lead to really bad things happening, so he is happy when Watson tells him Mary said yes. He is happy on the morning of the wedding, he is the man who ties Watson's tie and then kisses his lips. He tells his husband to go marry, enjoy his honeymoon and start his life with his wife. And then come back to him, to their rooms and their love. And they both will have tears in their eyes. Holmes will not be at the cerimony, nor will Mary's wife. But they will always support their partners.

Holmes OF COURSE will sulk for a bit, until Scandal in Bohemia. He did what was right, but he still feels lonely. And then Watson comes back. And they're together once more, they're in love and they can break the world apart. And then comes 1890. Watson is a bit more settled down, Holmes has his affairs in order, he can set to the work of his life. And then comes 1891.

Holmes is afraid.

They set fire to their rooms. Home is not safe anymore.

Reichenbach comes.

Holmes is not suicidal, he is terrified. And yet he will once more put Watson's happiness in front of his own. He will not put his husband in front of an impossible choice. He drafts a letter in his head. He leaves it under a silver cigarette case.

He can't imagine he will only see his husband three years later.

His plans worked and failed. But they're back together. Holmes will finally talk. There's a broken window in 221b Baker Street, they're both older, more tired. A bit sad at how things turned out. Mary is dead. Holmes couldn't have forseen that. And yet after some days, after a dinner. Watson will pat the empty spot on his left on the couch, he's still sitting in the center. He will hug Holmes close to his chest, they will remember the times all three of them hugged, Watson and his loves, Mary on the right, Holmes on the left. Holmes on the heart's side, Mary on the reason's side. They will cry. And remember. And be glad for what have been and look forward to what will be.

They're older, more sure of themselves. Watson's status as a widower is respectable enough, he murmurs in the dark. He will only be married to one man for the rest of his life. The following morning, Holmes presents Watson with a French gold coin, for his Watch chain. That will be their ring, their memento.

Years will pass, they will retire, they will always be together, because they never lived, so they can never die. Outside the rain pours and the cabs rattle in the streets.

And it is.

Always.

1895.

Okay, sorry for the immense rant, i have tears streaming down my face, my j'accuse is up in the first lines and it's also my thank you for getting the balls to write this rant on holmes, watson and mary.

[gammija]

Wrote this all last night in a rush after thinking about aroace podlock too hard - not sure how good it is but people on the discord liked it! so y'all will get it too

[Rushing sounds. At first it sounds like white noise, but there's a rhythm to it, swelling and ebbing; waves crashing onto sand. Wind whistles past the mic occasionally, while soft footsteps can be heard underneath. A quiet beach...

...Well, quiet, except for John giving one of his characteristic introductions to a mailbag episode, before starting proper.]  

JOHN: ...Okay, first question is for Sherlock, from Gammijonk - thought the 'Jonk' joke was starting to die down a bit, but apparently not! This one can be quite a, uh, heavy one, mate, so totally up to you if you want to answer or not. 

They ask: "No need to answer if you feel uncomfortable," like I said, and then the question is, "As what sexuality do you identify, and how did you come to realize?" Again, I'll just edit this out and we can start with another one if you don't want to share that kind of info with the listeners.  

SHERLOCK: No need, it's... alright. I'm in a sharing mood, I find. Not sure whether it's the calming effect of the noise from the waves or something else. 

...I, uh, consider myself to be asexual.  

JOHN: ...Uh- what- but- I mean, not that I'm disagreeing with you on your own identity and such, but I thought you told me you were gay? 

SHERLOCK: I definitely did not.  

JOHN: No, I distinctly remember, after the Gloria Scott case - I asked you if you had been in a relationship with Trevor. And you said yes!  

SHERLOCK: Correct.  

JOHN: Okay, well, so, then...?  

SHERLOCK: I- well. Let's see... I could, try to describe it another way?

JOHN: Right, right. I've actually heard of that before, now you mention it... So that's you, then?  

Within aspec identities, there is often a distinction made between sexual attraction, and romantic attraction. Sexual attraction is when you look at a person and feel like you want to have sex with them. Romantic attraction is when you look at a person and want to have a romantic relationship with them.

For most people, these two kinds of attraction seem to be intrinsically linked, but just as someone could conceivably have a romantic relationship without sex, or two people can have sex without being in a romantic relationship, so too is it possible to feel one kind of attraction, but not the other.  

SHERLOCK: Ah, no. The distinction feels meaningless when applied to myself. 

But, I mentioned it, because I feel it illustrates something of the complicated semantics when it comes to identity, sexuality and romance.  

To get back to the original question for a moment as to how I realized; When I was very young, I wasn't thinking about attraction at all. Then, as a young teenager, my sexuality felt noteworthy only in that it seemed to make me worthy of praise, a rarity: other boys were constantly doing stupid things, willing to do anything to impress a girl-  

JOHN: -While you were only doing stupid things for the love of the game?  

SHERLOCK: Hah. Quite. Well, mostly in order to follow my hyperfixations wherever they lead me, but I won't deny that as a teenager I might not have always been capable of making the brightest decisions. 

In any case, as I got older, I began to realise that my lack of attraction was not, in fact, a sign that I was simply better than the other boys, but something that required a different explanation. So, I did what I do best, and I began to... experiment.  

During that time, I eventually entered into a relationship with Trevor Scott. And those relationships would lead me to eventually learn the terms asexuality and aromanticism, in fact. Looking back, I still didn't feel romantic attraction for Trevor or others then, either. But a romance certainly was the way I and him viewed it at the time. And I certainly did love him.  

JOHN: Right, that makes sense.  

SHERLOCK: So, you see, that's where your confusion stemmed from.

Anyways, now that I had a name for my experiences, after that there followed a brief and unfortunate period in which I felt like I had to figure out whether my asexuality originated in one of my neurodivergences, or if those were two unrelated ways in which I deviated from the societal norm.

Thankfully I quickly came to the conclusion that that would be a fruitless endeavour, like trying to prove a negative. There is only one version of me, and he is asexual, and he is autistic. Whether or not those two facts are related, is frankly irrelevant.  

...That answers the question, I believe?  

JOHN: It definitely does. Wow, mate. That was a lot of talking, for one of these! Man. Feels difficult to follow up with some question about what's our favourite, finger, or something... That was just an example, they, they didn't actually ask that.  

...Do you... want a hug?  

SHERLOCK: Uhm, sure? Yes. I could go for one. Any particular reason why?  

JOHN: Not really - just felt like giving you one.  

[Fabric rustles. It's quiet for a long moment, only wind and waves.]  

SHERLOCK: ... If we count the thumb as a finger, obviously that's my favourite.  

JOHN: Obviously?  

[END] 

[onesidedradiostatic]

Intro Post + FAQ!?!?!?

STRIPES TRUTHERS DNI!!!!!!!! (this is a joke)

I'm not replacing my pinned post because I like my pinned post. it's special to me. it describes my blog in a single gif. but I'll link this in my bio.

hi! I think this was long overdue. first of all, introduction!

I'm pink! she/her, 19, filipino-chinese, 🇸🇬

I am an asexual sapphic on the aro spectrum! I'm not repulsed in either department though, I consider myself mostly sex-neutral and romance... idk, ambivalent irl, favourable in fiction.

keep in mind that hazbin hotel itself has a lot of explicit humour, so canon-typical level of that kind of humour should be expected here. however, outside of text-only nsfw jokes, I typically don't post or reblog nsfw art (and IF I did, I would use community labels/appropriate tags). I may also tag certain text-only nsfw joke posts as #suggestive, just as a precaution.

and now the FAQ...

FAQ

Other than one-sided RadioStatic, what do you ship?

I've actually done this before, but decided I'd update it a bit.

cherrivel is only there because of the need for velvette to have someone at the hotel to be obsessed with, refer to this post. it is currently unserious and could easily never come up in my posts I just thought to include it because of that one time I brought it up. other crackships may come up if I find it funny (ie adam x mammon).

this shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone, I do not like any reciprocated romantic alastor ships, I'm not here to police anyone for what they do in fanon, but all I ask is no one send me anything of the sort. I interpret alastor as a repulsed aroace, and the dialogue in which his asexuality is implied in canon implies to me he would never pursue dating (rosie knows alastor wouldn't be dating charlie because he is aroace, which implies she knows he is an aroace that doesn't date**). so that is how I choose to portray alastor in my posts.

**TO BE CLEAR, there IS nuance to this. because action =/= attraction. funny situations such as a fake date with vox as a distraction that he doesn't like at ALL entertain me. but I do not believe he is the type to pursue it under normal circumstances.

regarding qprs... well, as you can see, I really only care for qpr radiorose, but this is the part where it comes down to personal preference. qpr radiostatic largely depends for me, maybe if it's like an au where they never had a falling out or something but otherwise, I don't personally really see it, but that isn't to judge anyone who does. HOWEVER, I do like thinking about their past friendship, here's a post I made before regarding alastor's side on it.

Who's your favourite character?

unfortunately, it is the stupid tv man in my pfp. alastor is my second favourite though if that's not immediately obvious (wow tumblr user @onesidedradiostatic's faves are vox and alastor who could've guessed?)

Do you know [insert pre-series information here]?

I need to clarify, I am NOT a pre-series hazbin fan. I only got into hazbin properly at episode 5-6's release, prior to that I had only watched episode 4 out of curiosity due to twitter discourse. any information I have regarding pre-series stuff comes from the wiki, tumblr posts or anons who have informed me of stuff. my main source of information is the main series, that is how I first consumed hazbin after all.

What the fuck is the "Lucifer's Commissions Saga"?

it all started with an anon talking about the most unrealistic thing about vox owning an alastor body pillow being that alastor was able to be printed on it without glitches. I then dropped a stupid idea I had in my head for a bit about lucifer being offered 50k to make a sexy alastor painting for vox. one reblog later. well. it turned into vox commissioning lucifer for the body pillow. and then a bunch of asks came in related to it and it turned into a saga which is now my legacy. feel free to scroll through this entire thing. also a fanfic of it by ChaoticAce2005 now exists. go check it out. AN ANIMATIC BASED ON ONE OF THE POSTS BY NATAKARANIA ALSO NOW EXISTS. CHECK THAT OUT TOO.

The original post mentions Val commissioning Lucifer for the art for Vox, Val is canonically a talented artist, why would he do that?

in my defence, I kinda forgot about that when I posted the original joke. later asks, I've mended that val HAS drawn for vox before but vox nitpicked too much and val's not always willing to do a fully rendered sexy alastor... so vox has to outsource. and he just happens to do so to the king of hell.

Hey, hey, listen! What if Vox doesn't have a crush on Alastor but wants XXX instead!?

hey, I respect you! I respect your opinion and hc. but this blog is built around that concept specifically, I like vox wanting something he can never have, wanting romance from a guy who literally cannot feel the same way about him. so I'm probably not gonna be as passionate about other takes. but your opinion is valid! I'm just not really sure what you want me to say other than respectfully disagreeing.

Why don't you use RadioSilence for one-sided RadioStatic?

radio silence is the name of another book made by the author of heartstopper, alice oseman (which I heard also has a canon aspec character!). even though it is already a used tag for this ship, I refuse to contribute to flooding the book tag with hazbin hotel. it's already an issue I see even when searching #radio silence with the space, I think those in that fandom should be allowed to search for content without being flooded by content from another fandom. please understand.

I instead use #onewaybroadcast in accordance with this poll. I still use the regular #radiostatic and #staticradio tags in addition to it for more reach and because vox's side still technically counts under it, if anyone doesn't like specifically one-sided radiostatic for whatever reason, they may filter out the specific tag or block me.

read more about the tagging issue here

Why haven't you answered my ask?

you see. once upon a time I used to answer every ask in my askbox. but then trying to come up with intelligent responses to every single ask was kind of draining so I gave up on that. so nowadays I just answer whatever I feel like, if you don't see your ask answered for a while it may still be answered later cause I do go back to old asks sometimes (and sometimes I just forget about asks I'd wanted to answer before). currently my askbox stands at 180ish unanswered asks going back to as early as end of february, that's how much I kinda just gave up trying to clear my askbox. DON'T be discouraged from sending new asks though! I'm actually more likely to answer new ones that I'm able to form a response for immediately.

Wait, I checked your time zone, why are you posting at 2-5am?

I haven't had a normal sleep schedule for like at least 4 years now, don't think too hard about it. and don't rely on my time zone for my active hours, I could be active at literally any hour 😁👍

Can I write a fic about [insert idea posted on this blog before]?

OF COURSE!!! I would actually be honoured if you did!! credit for the idea would be appreciated (although it depends if it's mostly me or my anons' ideas, sometimes it's a combined effort), but otherwise go ahead! and do send it to me if you please, if I have the time or motivation I may read it!

-------------------------------

more may be added at a later time, but this is what I can come up with for now. I've been holding back on this for a while, trying to phrase every single little thing with tact, just understand that a lot of it is personal opinion!

Tags

#osrs.txt - all text posts, including asks #osrs.art - self-explanatory, art done by me #osrs.mp4 - videos which can range from compilations, shitpost edits to high effort edits #osrs.helluva - my helluva boss reactions/liveblogging and related stuff

#radiostatic parent trap subplot - the short series of asks joking about the torn picture vox has reminding them of the parent trap, turning into a crack subplot #projecting irl experiences onto radiostatic squad - where a bunch of anons came together to recount irl experiences with incels and say "yeah this is vox" #the ays - angel dust realising he and alastor are the reason for the vees' focus on the hotel and decides to brand both of them as the ays #lucifer's commissions saga - everyone's favourite as explained above, and also the biggest arc on this blog (my legacy) #alastor's modern sexuality label crisis - started with alastor misinterpreting "asexual" as asexual reproduction, continued on to him misinterpreting more modern sexuality labels #vox's stupid fucking turtleneck - it started with me trying to start up a debate on the colour of vox's turtleneck in the vox and val photo and escalated into people in my notes and askbox trying to gaslight me into thinking the turtleneck has stripes instead of it being a KNITTING PATTERN. this is what the STRIPES TRUTHERS DNI is referring to btw #cursed yellow val - tag name taken from andy-solo1, started as a response to the turtleneck discourse, I believe the turtleneck is a similar colour to val's wings therefore yellow turtleneck truthers are implying val's wings are also yellow #respectless anons - started with an anon trying to correct colour names and saying "not to be velvette..." and ended up with other anons being kin assigned characters #all the fucking parodies - there's been 2 parodies for you didn't know and 2 for respectless by others based on shit from this blog now, this tag is needed #the fanon val killjoy beef - tag made for the made up concept of valentino and katie killjoy beefing, started from this post

[r0-boat]

One off headcannon concept:

Deity/God of love x ace/aro spectrum!reader

Cw: angst, unrequited love, one-sided love. Enemies to one-sided love, never returned one-sided affection.

(reader is on the Aro/Ace spectrum, And they are still finding themselves)

This God has no name so it can be interpreted in a lot of ways!

Hi I am on the aroace spectrum. This is from my point of view please don't kill me aroace community.

Coming back into the mortal world blends into society All his brothers sisters aunts and uncles have done this already.

So, the rumors are true? Humans do not need us? Some of his kin have blended wonderfully into human society and become highly successful. I mean, it's pretty hard not to. They are gods, after all. But He isn't so willing to submit his godlike title.

He was quite an arrogant fellow. So when he found out his powers didn't exactly work on you, he was not happy... He had heard of mortals with the power to be resistant to his weapons no matter how dangerous, no matter how potent. You are the first he had seen and possibly the first of many... So he studied you... It was not hard, especially when He overheard you trying to find a roommate, and he applied.

You hated him... Anyone would. At least he pays his bills on time, but you cannot stand how he would set you up with dates!

A lot of the dates were bland but not bad. And as time went on the two of you started to get relatively close... Underneath his confident, cocky arrogance that made you scratch up walls, he was pretty chill.

The last straw was when you went out with one of the people he picked, and they treated you horribly. He had a big smile coming to pick you up, only to see you crying on the sidewalk. His heart felt heavy when he saw you, knowing he had helped you prepare for that date. Hell, the two of you even had fun...

The car ride was silent on the way home. Usually, you yelled at or told him how the date was, but this time, you were silently staring at your phone, your eyes red from crying.

That's when he decided to give up on finding you dates. He finally learned that love isn't something you force. And even then, he comes to terms with the truth that some mortals are not capable of experiencing sexual and romantic love. But he decided to stay in the human world only because he liked your company.

All is well from a lot of talking and a lot of apologizing and a lot of silence, Your relationship is slowly repaired. And after that, all was okay. The two of you honestly were attached to the hip partners in crime your group of friends would call you.

But then things started to get weird. He would feel this ache in his heart when guys or girls would come up and talk to you. It felt wrong. He felt protective, possessive, and jealous.

What was not to love about you? Every little thing you did made him smile. But what took his heart You were awkward at first (even more endearing in his opinion) but once you broke out of that shell to him you were like gold. you are funny. And you were a natural people magnet. Everyone liked you. You are sweet and caring, You had strong morals yet, You were not opposed to learning more and changing your opinions. He could go on and on... Even the little things you did that was normal for mortals He was captivated by because the small ways you did it was so interesting. You are not perfect, no human is. But it somehow just made you more attractive.

Once he realized that he was the one who fell in love. It wasn't something out of happiness or confusion but fear and sadness and immediate acceptance. To him he knew 100%, that he fall in love with someone who could never love In the same way in return. He is desperate for the hide feelings because if you find out, he's afraid you might never talk to him again. But at the same time, he wants to support you and do everything for you because he loves you and wants to see you at your best. And he wants to be there for your worst. He generally cares for you, And he won't let his selfish feelings get in the way of that.

So he will continue to stand beside you. It hurts. But that's okay. He's content with this.

[getosbf]

I saw some people talking about yuumori character sexualities and just wanted to add my own headcanons <33

Sherlock: see now, we all know sherlock has been explicitly stating his... Repulsion (yes, not "oh im not attracted to them" straight up repulsion at the thought of being in a romantic and/or sexual relationship with them)

And im not saying sherlock is misogynistic. He has been seen very happily helping women with their cases. And might i add that on the Noahtic, while everyone was prancing around with a lady on his arm, sherlock was standing in the corner. Even though he was also with ladies he was CLEARLY in it only for their appreciation of him. Because you see, Sherlock is a clever man. He saw these bunch of women who had no one to dance with and was aware that they would be head over heels for his skills. And he was probably sent to the Noahtic by mycroft, so why not pass some time and get some praise?

But as soon as he met Liam he felt an instant obsession connection. Not necessarily romantic, but this is where that japanese feeling that i forgot the name of comes in. The feeling of meeting someone and instantly knowing that while you dont feel anything now, you could potentially be dynamic (is that the correct word, for sherliam i think it is)

And as i said and will say again, sherlock is a clever man. Of course he's not gonna sit around sexually frustrated, when he can easily use his charms and skills to find the right people. But as per literally canon, until he met Liam he didnt feel romantic (that comes later though, first was obsession) "attraction".

Conclusion? Gay demiromantic.

William: now while william never had a "repulsion" to women, I'd say he quite literally has a repulsion to any idea of a romantic relationship at all. He looked at london and got his "lemme fix that" hyperfixation game so heavy that he forgot he was alive most of the times. That man falls asleep on random occasions at literally anywhere at any time because he avoids sleep for his plans. Do you expect him to have any sort of romantic or sexual relationship? No, sir.

Then waltzes in Sherlock. Like i said, instant obsession. Though for William, that japanese feeling never came. While he was always hoping for a different reality where he and sherlock could be together, he never acknowledged his feelings enough to let himself feel something.

But talking about sexual attraction, while i do firmly believe Liam doesnt feel it for the better part of his life, he did start to feel some things a while after meeting sherlock. He fucking KNEW what he was doing with that "catch me if you can, mr holmes~" I think it surprised him too, all this strange emotions trickling in slowly after years of not feeling anything.

Conclusion? Demisexual AND demiromantic.

John: thought he was straight, but you all have seen his reaction to irene when they dressed up as the king of bohamia right? I'd say bisexual, but he's still learning to embrace that part of his identity. And even when he does embrace it, i dont think he's gonna do anything about it. Cuz like cmon, its 19th century London. Do you think he'll damn himself by loving a man when he is capable of what most people like him are not (to love someone of the opposite gender)? But I DO think he had a crush on louis for a while but i think that just for shits and giggles hehe

Louis: aroace. No questions asked. He loves in a very... Devotional way. Like liam and possibly albert, he has an unbreakable attachment to them. His love for their found family? He is soooo aro ace coded.

Albert: wineromantic. bisexual disaster.

Moran: pansexual just cuz. He loves his women but he has had something with albert and possibly james that is simply not heterosexual. And he was in the army cmon if there's a hole there's a goal

James: pansexual BECAUSE, hear me out, he had known this since he was a teenager. Which is why it took him until he got to Moriarty's to realise he actually wants to be a man. He had known men love him, so he was styling his hair and wearing tight corsets. He had known women loved him, so he was putting on disguises to kiss and snog. I think he was just so comfortable in his identity he never felt the need to be the opposite gender. But he was and, well, we're happy for our boy.

Fred: ace, maybe demi, and genderfluid. I might be projecting on the genderfluid part here but can you blame me? He/they pronouns.

Jack: he's above such measly attractions (idk maybe he was young he could have had something but idk anything while looking at him now)

Mycroft: gay gay homosexual gay. No straight man spends 30 minutes every morning putting pomade in his hair (hiding a part of your identity, already? Huh myckey?)

Miss hudson: straight because she didn't feel any (okay maybe somewhat) attraction to irene but when she met JAMES ouahahahaha

Herder: married to the grind 💪💪💪 making love to the game 💯💯💯 he only loves one thing and thats his craft 🔥🔥🔥

Just kidding he definitely has something gay going on

Billy: he has some WAY GAYER going on. Have never seen him interact with women (how gay) so i can't say much but he definitely gives bi/leaning on gay vibes

[raccoon-eyed-rebel]

Part 23

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Part 22 🟣 Part 24

A reverse harem vampire AU ft. Mikey, Marshall, August and Sherlock

Series summary: Somehow, you've managed to live with your boyfriend and his roommates for months before finding out they're vampires, but the real shock first comes when they find out you have a special quality. A quality the guys would love to make use of...

Warnings: Fluff, ongoing vampire shenanigans, a little ace-angst...

Word count: 2k

A/N: More vampire feels for everyone!

@geralts-yenn @deandoesthingstome @ellethespaceunicorn @summersong69 @mis-lil-red @sillyrabbit81 @livisss @itsrubberbisquit @ktficworld @proud-aroace-beastie @plaidcat4815 @wa-ni (Fucking dumblr won't let me tag y'all)

“Darling, can you come to the kitchen for a moment?” Sherlock asked calmly. You rounded the corner and looked at them suspiciously — the way they were all sitting around the kitchen table with serious looks on their faces made the whole thing… just kind of sus.

“Did someone die?” you asked as you joined them at the table. This was not a nice way to spend your time after the lovely shower you’d just taken.

“Oh, no! Nothing of the sort,” Sherlock reassured you. That was comforting, at least.

“We just wanted to ask you…” August started, only to be interrupted by a very excited Mike.

“We want to take a little trip!”

“In fact,” Sherlock clarified, “we would love for you to spend the summer with us… with our family.”

“You mean,” you replied slowly, “I’d get to meet the others?”

“Yes,” August answered. “There’s only two of them, no worries.” You had been wondering how big their coven was, and it was nice to hear there weren’t too many introductions to be made.

“And one of them would be Charles, correct?” It was more or less a guess, but an educated one.

“Yes. There’s a chance my brother will show up — it is quite a nice house we have…”

“Then why live here?” If they had a nice house somewhere, then why did they share this apartment?

“Sherlock moved here to teach, Mike moved here to go to college,” Marshall answered.

Mike interrupted again: “Marshall missed me too much.” You raised your eyebrows and rolled your eyes, but Marshall chuckled and shook his head.

“He’s not lying,” he said. “It took me nearly a century to be able to live apart from Sherlock. What Mike neglects to mention is that he missed me, too.”

“Did not!” Mike faux-protested. “I only called him up on the verge of crying three or four times a week!”

“At the risk of sounding completely insensitive… What? Why?” you wondered.

“We suspect it’s a way to protect new vampires, and people,” Sherlock explained. “The very young ones can be unpredictable. It’s not as much of a problem these days; there are special feeding programs for juveniles — they feed more often for the first year or so… Anyway, before feeding became legal the way it is now, it was important that youngsters learned to… well, to be quite frank about it, they had to learn to not kill everyone they bit.”

“A hungry young vampire left unattended can — and will — kill a grown man in about three minutes,” August helpfully added. “Supervision was very necessary.”

“Especially during those times when secrecy was of utmost importance,” Sherlock continued. “One wrong move… It can be tricky to gain full control over the new levels of strength and speed.”

“Not to mention those damn fangs,” Mike noted. “Just getting the bite right is tricky in the beginning.”

“You don’t just… bite?” you asked.

“When we’re close to you, princess,” August said with a strange smirk, “we can feel every vein in your body.” Did that have to sound so… ominous? “That’s the easy part. The hard part is aiming. It makes sense to have someone teach you.”

“Most of us feed exclusively on their… let’s say ‘mentor’, for the first six months,” Marshall added. “Then, by the time they move on to human blood, they’ll have something resembling restraint. Usually.” He glared at Mike.

“Okay, my first human was not a success, but…”

“It was a disaster, Mike,” Marshall said, rolling his eyes.

“He didn’t… you didn’t… right?” You could only hope they understood what you were trying to ask.

“No, she was fine. But it was a bloodbath,” Marshall grumbled. “A waste of perfectly good food.”

“Says the one with the knife kink…” you blurted out.

“I wouldn’t have dreamed of wasting a drop of blood back then. Remember that feeding was mostly illegal during that time,” Marshall reminded you. “I almost lost a very willing volunteer that night.”

“How did that conversation even go? ‘Hello, would you mind if my intern performed the procedure today?’” Everyone laughed.

“Something like that,” Marshall said eventually. “I told Manu — her name was Manuela — I had a friend, someone like me… She jumped at the chance to be his first human.”

“She was great,” Mike remembered. “Very solid about the pain…”

“She got off on the pain, genius,” Marshall laughed.

“I know that,” Mike sighed. “But even then. Stop making me look like an idiot, I know you know what I mean!”

“The difference between enjoying the bite and enjoying the aftermath of the bite,” August guessed — and judging from the looks on Mike and Marshall’s faces, he was correct.

“Sherlock?” He was gone. Suddenly. Not that that was so strange for him — you knew what he could do — but to leave like that, without warning?

“He’s in his room,” the guys said at the same time.

Of course, you were the last one to reach the door — but the first one to knock.

“Come in,” Sherlock said reluctantly, and you opened his bedroom door. “I’m sorry I disappeared.”

“What’s going on?” you asked, sitting down on his bed, and reaching for him in a silent plea for him to join you. He did, wrapping an arm around your shoulders almost painfully tightly.

“I remember this time so very differently,” he whispered. “Many… volunteers, back in the day, were exactly as they describe. But many weren’t simply in it for the pain…”

“I mean, of course there was a sexual edge to it for many of them, but…” Mike’s eyes went wide. “Oh. Right. Shit…”

“It was particularly difficult to find volunteers willing to forego the…”

“Boinking,” Mike suggested.

Sherlock looked up at him. “You can’t possibly think that would have been my choice of words, Mike.”

“Fine, amorous congress, better?”

“Marginally,” Sherlock chuckled. “Even the ones who seemed content with such an arrangement at first often became bored with the lack of…”

“Boinking,” Mike said again. “Ow! Joke, people. Joke!” He rubbed the back of his head, where August had hit him.

“What did you do?” you asked, both concerned and curious.

“I had to eat,” he answered plainly. “There weren’t too many options. Telling people what I was, was dangerous enough in and of itself. I simply viewed the” — his eyes shot up to look at Mike for a second — “intercourse as payment for the service rendered. I should add that, during this phase of my life, I was far more repulsed by the concept of sexual activity than I am now.”

“That… changes?” you asked carefully.

“There is some fluidity to it, yes,” he replied quietly. “Completely involuntary and ungovernable, of course.” He sighed. “So far, the height of my interest in physical relations has been the willingness to please a trusted romantic partner. Which is not a state in which I find myself at this current time — regrettably, I might add. I’m sorry.”

Was he apologizing? “You are not apologizing to me for being who you are, Sherlock,” you said sternly. “I swear I’ll have one of them kick you!” You gestured at the others.

“I can’t shake the feeling that I’m not enough for you,” he whispered.

“Look at me,” you said, placing your hand on the side if his face. “You are more than enough for me. Our relationship is… whole. It’s not lacking, it’s not incomplete, it’s everything it’s supposed to be.”

“If that were true,” he said, “you wouldn’t have wondered why we weren’t sleeping together.”

“Oh, good God,” you sighed. “That was because of some misaligned expectations on my part, and you know it, Holmes! If you desperately want to apologize for something, apologize for not managing those expectations sooner.”

He gave you a kind smile that was unable to hide the pain in his eyes, and took your hand, gently rubbing his thumb over the back of it. “I still wish it were different.”

“Well, I don’t ,” you snapped. “Because I love you. Now, tell me more about this trip we’re taking, please.” You threw an arm around his shoulder and pulled him close. “Who is this mysterious coven member I’ve never heard any of you talk about? And are my, ehm… services expected to be extended to them? I mean, I—”

“No,” August snarled unexpectedly aggressively. He calmed down slightly when Marshall put a hand on his chest. “No,” he said again, this time whispering so softly you could barely hear him. Now, August having a strained relationship with Charles wasn’t exactly news to you, but even then, this reaction seemed a bit extreme…

“August, I know you don’t like him much, but we both know the most likely scenario,” Marshall replied to August’s outburst.

“And what is the most likely scenario?” Mike fidgeted with his own fingers, clearly nervous.

“That I will want to,” you said without thinking. “That’s it, right? What everyone is thinking? That I’ll want to feed them?”

Sherlock nodded slowly. “Though the agreed upon parameters of out contract do not extend to them, and you will not be responsible for keeping them alive.”

“So, by all means,” August hissed, “refuse him service.”

“August,” Sherlock warned, and to your surprise, August relaxed immediately. “Play nice.” There was an edge to his voice, almost a kind of buzz. The words felt fuzzy in a way you couldn’t quite explain.

“Remember the hierarchy, love?” Marshall reminded you.

“Right…” You’d almost forgotten about that — probably because Sherlock never really pulled rank — just like you’d forgotten about the fact that…

“You can boss us around too, princess,” August said with a smile. “Although I’m quite glad you… don’t.” At least not to him…

“Mystery coven member, guys!” you reminded them of your other question.

“Ah, right,” Sherlock said with a smile. “He is the man who turned me and Charles, nearly a millennium ago. His name is Melot.”

“He’s close to, what? 1400 years old now?” Mike asked, more than said.

“Give or take,” August shrugged. “It doesn’t come down to the century once you start talking about those kinds of numbers.”

“His history is interesting, but you’ll have to ask him about it,” Marshall said before you could voice any of the questions that popped into your mind. “Pack your bags, love.”

“Don’t you have to, like… call them? Let them know we’re coming? Or did you guys plan this whole trip without ever letting me know?” It wouldn’t have surprised you, but you would have had a thing or two to say about it, for sure.

“He knows we’re coming,” August said plainly. Why was he suddenly holding your suitcase? “Anything already in here stays in here.”

You glared at him, getting up off the bed and closing the distance between you with a single step. “August Walker, you… you…”

“Use your words, princess.” He grinned, and you caught a hint of his fangs. It was infuriating.

And then you felt it.

Heat. Strength. Power.

“You insolent jackass,” you growled. “If you know everything so well, then why don’t you pack up the rest of my stuff. And you had better get it right the first time.”

A low growl escaped him before he disappeared from the room, and the strange feeling disappeared.

“Wow,” you said. “Never thought I could actually make August my bitch…”

“You may have won the battle, darling,” Sherlock said. An amused smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “But I doubt you’ll win the war.”

“I, for one, doubt you’ll be able to sit when he’s through with you,” Mike chuckled. “He wanted to spank the shit out of you as soon as he sensed the shift, but he couldn’t. Because hierarchy…”

“You did nothing wrong, love,” Marshall, as always, managed flawlessly to put your unspoken panic at ease. “If anything, I’d say he had it coming.”

“I’ll talk you through the etiquette during the flight,” Sherlock chuckled, no longer trying to hide his smile. “You’ll learn to control it, eventually.”

“Okay hold on for one teeny tiny little moment there,” you said. “What do you mean by ‘during the flight’? Where the hell are we going?”

“Home.” Mike said with a big smile.

[compassionatereminders]

Tw: sexual topics, slightly non-con mention?

So...Im a bit confused...

For context, I have alexithymia and have a very hard time understanding my emotions. Most of the time I can fully understand what Im feeling about a situation only after days after that situation is gone

So...I have a friend who we are in a very weird relationship. Like, she confessed her love to me and I started to date her because I always wanted to be loved (it was my first relationship) and also I was (and still am) in a very big denial of me being aroace so I just wanted to prove myself that I'm "normal" (I know that its horrible and im working on that). But that didn't worked out. She loved me so much it made me really uncomfortable cuz I couldn't say the same back. After less then a week I broked up with her. She was mad, of course, but after a few days we were okay and stayed friends....with benefits. I don't know how that happened to be honest, but we're both very touch starving people and I don't really I divide physical contact into romantic and platonic, so we were both happy with what we had. She could still to things she wanted with me and I could be friends with her knowing that she knows im aromantic

But then it got even more confusing... We were at me place alone and she started to touch me under my shirt. I was okay with that, it felt nice and I just like the feeling of someone's skin touching mine. Then things became more... intimate and she said that she's really afraid of making me uncomfortable, so I said that I kinda was prepared that things will go that way to comfort her (and yes, I knew, she always joked about it and she's a very sexual person, so I knew what can happen when we are alone. I don't think I was waiting for this or something, I just knew it's coming and there's nothing I can do about it). And I guess it was enough for her to get started. So we did it. And I don't know if I liked it. It was my first time and I don't know how I *should* feel, but I mostly feel numb... (A more detailed description of the process is ahead. Sorry if this is unnecessary information, but it is important to me)

She told me not to be shy about my sounds and at first I didn't understand what she was talking about, and then I remembered that I needed to moan. I had to fake my moans because nothing fucking came out of me. When she finished playing with me the first time she asked if she should continue with mockery. I didn't know what to answer because I didn't feel anything. Yes, it was nice, sort of, but nothing more. I didn't feel like continuing, I didn't feel excited, I just wanted it to be over. And I'm not saying I didn't like it, again, it was nice, I know I felt some joy at that moment, but now I don't feel any of that. Just shame. I don't even know if I came (and neither did she)

Since then, she often reminds me of that day, trying to tease me, telling me how bad I will feel when she leaves (Hinting that I would be too excited. I don’t feel anything), throwing sexual jokes and everything like that. I feel disgusting and most often I just keep quiet or joke about it

But here's the problem, I still feel sexual desire. In fact, after that day, my libido seems to have decreased threefold, but I still get aroused sometimes, just... not from her. And not from any living person (usually I like to read about this than to see it and, apparently, feel it myself...) But what if I'm wrong? What if I was just too anxious? I felt good then, I felt so happy when I was thinking back about it (remembering it now, I was thinking about her, and not about what we were doing) Maybe I made it all up and it's worth giving it a second chance?

Another problem is that I can't even talk to her about it. She has a severe fear of hurting me because of personal traumas (including sexual ones) and I know that if I tell her about it, then she will be afraid to even touch me, and I don’t want that. I just don't want to lie to her again the next time she starts joking about it. What if she gets mad again because I "lied to her"? Does that count as lying?? I don't know what to do. Should I feel this way? Is this normal?

In my experience, consenting to sex you don't actually want never ends somewhere good. Even if you say "yes", it isn't going to be a great experience if you wanted to say "no." And even consensual sex can be an unpleasant or even traumatizing experience if you disregard or simply aren't sure of your own boundaries. So I recommend stopping this "relationship" and at the very least saving sex for someone with whom you can actually have an honest and constructive conversation about all of this!

[the-way-astray]

how about a break from some strieefe asks?

here are some questions to answer! (if you feel comfortable ofc)

1: what's your zodiac?

2: how tall are you?

3: what is your fav kotlc ship besides aldella

4: how long have you been part of the kotlc fandom for? (not necessarily keepblr)

5: what is your favourite hc in kotlc?

6: have you read shadowhunters? (i need more kotlc + shadowhunter fans 😔)

7: do you have any pets?

8: who is your favourite kotlc character?

9: what is/are your favourite song/s

10: keefitz; yes or no? (this determines my opinion on you ;D)

11: sophitz or sokeeefe? or keefitz

12: do you hc any of the characters in kotlc as aro/ace? if so, who?

13: do you like potatoes?

i didn't know what a zodiac was, so i searched it up, and it appears to go by birthday. i'm not comfortable revealing anything about my birthday/age whatsoever, so instead, you'll get the one that has a description that i feel fits me the best: virgo.

i'm 5'8" . . . towering over you all for real (i hope)

KEEFITZ. two most thirsted after boys in the school are actually into each other! it's an exercise in wanting and being wanted. also a tad bit tiana and a tad bit stinex.

i've been here since 2020, and only on keepblr. i only started posting in 2023, though. i'm not actually sure what prompted me to start posting, but there was a reason.

that not long after the pyrokinesis ban, banning abilities was a hot topic. it had never been done before, and questions like "should the council have the right to take away someone's right to use their ability?" were very controversial. this resulted in a group of councillors trying to ban the shade ability. it was eventually overturned, and eventually a law was signed into effect that banned banning abilities, deeming it a violation of the core principles of elvin society. this means that if pyrokinesis were to be unbanned, banning it again would be illegal under the new law. but since the ban was put into place before the law was signed, it's not actually a violation of the law. several people have pointed out the hypocrisy of this, but it continues to remain unresolved to this day.

yep. i did not like it (i'm sure you can guess what my feelings toward jace are . . . ). favorite trilogy was last hours, though, cassie definitely got her shit together a bit there. and i'm going to read the new one when it comes out, the one about kit and ty. what's it called again? can't remember. something something no series goes unfinished. but i haven't read these in a LONG time and i sped through them when i read them first so i remember almost nothing.

nope.

i actually don't have one. closest you can get is probably fitz vacker.

this changes every day. but currently . . . probably eight by iu (and bts's suga). it's just so sad . . .

YES

keefitz trumps all. i don't ship sophitz and i definitely don't like sokeefe. if you put a gun to my head and forced me to pick one of the two, it's sophitz. but i don't particularly ship that either, though i used to.

hmm . . . i kinda flip flop between seeing fitz as gay for keefe and seeing fitz as aroace. but not really other than that.

YES

[our-aroace-experience]

ok so here's my ace/arospec story

ace:

i learned about being ace

oh i don't know

12 years old maybe

i searched it up after reading about it online

"aroace definition"

it went something like

"being both aromantic and asexual"

i searched up

"aromantic"

"asexual"

at first i thought it was a bit strange

i hadn't learned yet

to distinguish

between romantic attraction and sexual attraction

because i didn't know

people actually wanted sex

people actually saw someone and went

"wow"

"i want to fuck them"

i had a crush on a childhood friend of mine

at the time

(a guy. i am a girl.)

i'd always assumed i was cishet

grew up in a conservative christian household

slightly offtopic but honestly my parents were great

not stereotypical conservative christians

both allies

they had friends who were trans and gay

i'd checked out queer media from the library

and they were fine with it

anyway

back to the story

so since i had a crush on the opposite gender

i assumed ofc

i was cishet

well ofc i wasn't into sex, i was just a kid

but at age 13

almost 14

i was alone

in a hotel room, no parents, on instagram

that's the only time i could get that

late night phone time

when i didn't have parents around

i found @i.put.the.ace.in.disgrace on instagram

scrolled through every fucking post

on their account

and on the #asexual tag

i related to those posts

like

a lot

a suspicious amount for someone supposedly allo

even though i was just a kid

yeah maybe i'd grow into it

maybe i'd feel attraction one day

but not now

and who the hell was going to tell me

what i could or couldn't identify as

so i tried out the ace label

spent hours and hours

wondering if it was right

if i was really ace

if i wasn't too young

but going back to being allo felt wrong

so i decided to keep the label

the first person i came out to

was an online friend

they were so amazing and supportive of it

i love them so much for that

they said i'd been on their gaydar for a while

(a message i still think about

when wondering if i'm really ace)

felt sick the next day

i'd always been an ally

supported my queer friends

arospec aspec trans homosexual i supported them all

but it made me sick

to think about me

myself

being queer

it was sort of rough

but i got through it

later

came out to my friend and her mom

they were cool about it

i knew i'd be safe

they weren't ecstatic or super happy

but they accepted me

"cool"

that's what they said i remember it

i was a hot mess that day too

stuttered over all my words when trying to come out

and they still accepted me

i love them

later

i decided to hint at my identity to my mom

talked about not liking sex

i checked out a few ace books

from the library

my mom took me aside

i don't remember her exact words

it went something like

"it's natural to be curious

but you can't be ace at 14

you're not trying to be

are you?"

ofc

i managed to convince her i was allo

had to be more careful then

arospec:

i'd only had one crush.

one crush who i'd liked as a friend first.

you see where this is going, don't you?

well

i didn't

i'd heard that aces had not very many crushes

so i assumed i was just Really Really Asexual

and i couldn't be aro hahahaha

i'd been in love before!

aros cannot be in love!

oh by golly i was wrong

i started questioning

(only one crush?

my friends are all over their crushes

plural

and i've only had one??

maybe i'm not as allo as i thought)

i debated over gray-aro and demi-aro

picked demi

it described my experience more accurately

came out to aforementioned friend

then aforementioned online friend

they were chill about it

(fucking love them)

then i 3d printed a black ring

and a white ring

ace

and aro

and this is maybe the best part of the whole experience

i had friends who were stereotypical conservative christian

queerphobic

they complimented my aro and ace rings

and so did my mom

and that made me really happy for some reason

shit that was a long ask im sorry

thank you for sharing! i hope your mum comes around to you being aroace one day

also side note: this reads like a poem it’s so well written!

[my-lonely-thoughts]

I've recently realized I'm aroace and I wanted to talk about it :))

Growing up, I felt so much love for what would be called my "best friends" at the time. I usually had one 'best' friend and would give gifts to, spend all my time with, message them good morning and goodnight, go out of my way to communicate and go the extra mile to show so much love to them because I did/do love them!!

And it always felt so much stronger than my other friendships.

It's hard to explain but sometimes I 'fall in love'? So to speak? with a friend sometimes and it opens up gestures I want to do that I didn't have the desire to do before.

However, these acts/gestures/feelings were always assumed to be romantic (because most of them are tied to romantic culture) and so these friendships sort of blew up in my face every time because I really struggled with wondering if I must be romantically attracted to them. (Or they blew up because the other person started feeling romantic attraction for me).

That, and being raised to find "the one" and being told that it'll "click" for me one day, until that day never came.

And my life really started to change once I realized that libido is different from sexual attraction, and that there is such a thing as QPR's!

Once I learned more about aromanticism and asexuality, and the beautiful spectrum it is, things started to click into place.

I feel like I was always expected to go juuuuust a bit further than friendship at some point but I never wanted to! I really am okay with just friends! Or a qpr! I don't desire/want anything romantic/sexual! And that's okay!

I even remember the very first time I came out. I came out as asexual and was immediately shot down and told I'd find someone one day. I was 15. Now I'm 21 and after coming out like 15 times as a million different labels, I feel really happy that I'm not having this internal battle anymore and trying to force myself to feel something I simply can't/don't.

Aro/ace for the win 💚🤍🩶🖤 💜🤍🩶🖤

[twig-tea]

Love in the Big City Part 1: Reliable and Unreliable Narration

This post will be a ramble capturing of my reactions and thoughts and linking other meta where it applies. I did think about the discussion questions by @bengiyo but haven't set out specific question-by-question answer per se.

[if you don't know what this is about, check out the initial post about the book club, and if you'd like to join, here's the post with the overall schedule]

First, I am just going to acknowledge that I struggle with stories written in the first person, but this book is good enough that I got over this hang-up pretty quickly. I really love how both the narrator's self-awareness and his lack of self-awareness comes through in this writing style--he is very reliable a narrator around his own faults (as he brags to his readers), but unreliable about his own feelings. This is reflective of his emotional intelligence and lack of self-understanding or self-interrogation around his emotions. A few moments stand out to me around this: He mentions explicitly that he often laughs when he is actually angry and only realizes he is mad after the fact; He is also shocked at the level of hurt he feels at Jaehee's betrayal, and doesn't understand his own reaction; and he similarly gives no indication of having any emotional attachment to K3 in terms of how he talks about him, though he keeps and returns to his last text message and thinks about how he had imagined K3 remaining in his life through his future.

All this is to say, once I realized the disaffected tone was intentional and also unreliable, I got really invested in this novel and enjoyed Part I a lot!

I agree with the read of the narrator and Jaehee's relationship as a Queer Platonic Relationship as @doyou000me wrote here, and I agree with @lurkingshan that this relationship went unrecognized in the novel because these characters did not have the words to understand or characterize the relationship they were in. I can also relate; my roommate and I in my 20s were both queer, on the aroace spectrum, and were one another's plus-one for everything from work parties to family events. We lived together for ~4 years. We shared cooking and cleaning duties, spent every evening together, vacationed together (we even went on a vacation just the two of us while they were dating other people), and it was only when we realized (without realizing that's what we were realizing) that we could not have further emotional intimacy with one another and we "broke up" (by spending less time together, no longer sharing meals, it was all very avoidant and immaturely handled lol) that they eventually got serious with someone else and moved out.

I now have a few queer platonic relationships that I'm in consciously that are as close as Jaehee and the narrator, where we share all kinds of intimate details about our lives and plan major things like where we'll move to around one another; and my awareness is much better for managing and understanding my emotions around them. This is part of why I think this read is so compelling; it helps explain some of the disaffected writing style overall in this part, because when I didn't have words for the relationship I was in, I didn't understand and sometimes didn't acknowledge the feelings I had about it. And the way Jaehee slowly but easily transitioned into putting her relationship with her boyfriend/fiance/husband first; @my-rose-tinted-glasses connected this to atanormativity in her post, and that resonates for me too.

This connects also to something @lurkingshan talked about here around life stages and how these two people only worked while they were in the same life stage, and since the expectations they had on their own lives and that everyone had on them were so different, those life stages did not align and would not align forever. The way the narrator talked about not ever wanting to be married and not understanding why Jaehee, who seemed to feel the same way he did about life and love, would want to get married, really resonated with me as a queer arospec person who has always struggled to understand why other people want the things they want in their lives, and always feeling out of step with where they're headed. It's been interesting actively trying to keep friendships with people who got married and had kids, for example. I wrote a list of my own list of alternative milestones for anyone who falls outside of allonormative and atonormative lives.

One thing I wanted to highlight that I think @my-rose-tinted-glasses also alluded to was that the betrayal the narrator experiences when Jaehee shares their secret and outs him to her boyfriend was a betrayal because Jaehee puts her boyfriend's needs over the narrator's. This happens again with the wedding planning, where she assumed she could ask the narrator to be her emcee and then had to renege on the request because her fiance had someone he wanted to use and it was 'traditional' that the groom's side get to set the emcee. The narrator basically shrugs this off but we can tell by the way he talks about the wedding, the emcee, and the bitterness that exudes from the page, in addition to how quickly he leaves, that he has feelings about this.

Unrelated but one of the things I noticed about the health scares that I haven't seen mentioned yet is that Jaehee is yelled at by the doctor for being irresponsible with her sexual health; in contrast, the narrator is responsible about his sexual health by bringing his sexual parter for testing at the first sign of a potential STI, and he is made fun of and feels explicitly embarased. I haven't fully thought through all of the implications of this but thought I'd add it to the discourse while I think about it some more this week!

When going into Part 2, I'm going to be thinking about the cover of the book and how the two versions I've seen have either blueberries and Marlboros, or fingertips stained with blueberry juice making a finger heart. I am wondering whether these will become visual leitmotifs for the rest of the novel, or whether Jaehee's role in the narrator's life and these physical manifestations of their bond will be left in part 1; and if so, it's interesting that these themes resonated strongly enough with the publisher to put this visual on the cover. Either way, it indicates their importance and the importance of this relationship in the narrator's story overall.