#after all this time she's still my number one i am obsessed with her still

[sampaguitea]

Welcome back to super hero world, Gwen! Hope you survive the experience! 

[jenctrl]

sunflower danielle marsh

synopsis; the hero's spidey-senses have been tingling all over her body whenever the sunflower girl walks into the room, however, the problem is that she's a sunflower while Y/n feels like a sun that comes and goes /content; spiderwoman!reader, spider verse au, fluff, teenie tiny bit of angst at one point, mentions; violence, firearms and death but all in a light manner /wc; 8.9k

songs; sunflower - post malone, love 119 - riize, out of me head - steve lacy

a/n; my spiderman obsession has been hitting a bit harder lately so...also im thinking miles morales suit for this one

“There’s a fight happening at the park.”

“I am at the park?”

“Aren’t your spidey senses tingling?”

“Shut up–oh…I might have been preoccupied with the—”

“With the tingles Dani causes, yeah, yeah, it’s by the fountain.”

“Oh my god, look it’s a squirrel!” The girl squealed, shaking the latter beside her who pried away the hands that gripped onto her arm with a deep sigh. 

“Yeah, I can see,” Haerin grumbled while fixing her shirt.

“Y/n look–” Her joyous voice came to a halt as she turned around and the said girl was no longer there where she had been. “Where’s Y/n?” This made Haerin turn away from the tree they had stopped by and her eyes scanned the park.

The sun was shining brightly with nothing but a gentle breeze to cool everyone off together with the shadows. 

Danielle walked past Haerin with a frown, thinking she had lost her other friend among the people walking in the park. “It’s not the first time she just disappears.” The latter mumbled and followed after the girl who hummed and took out her phone. 

“I will call her–Wait here just in case.” She looked back and received a simple nod from Haerin who stopped under the shadow of a tree. Her eyes scanned the area before watching the other girl who walked completely engrossed in her phone.

Danielle squinted her eyes, trying to fix her brightness and cover her phone to see anything all while trying to head for the nearest shadow to make life easier for herself.

The second she got it right she looked for the girl’s number which wasn’t hard to find; all while she wondered how Y/n always managed to disappear or get lost so easily.

She was confused, to say the least, seeing how the girl would avoid her at times or trail behind them. Quite often Danielle made sure all of her friends felt included, but as she did so she rarely succeeded in including herself as the centre of Y/n’s attention. However, the few times that she was–

“Watch out!” She looked up from her phone with wide eyes just as she had managed to press call. The sound of the fountain she was near was just a mere background noise that was drowned out when she finally paid attention to her surroundings; realising that a lot more than the chirping of birds and water was sounding around her. 

Danielle yelped at the body that collided with her, shutting her eyes, the phone that was in her hand no longer there. There was a brief swoosh of air, her feet no longer on the ground, but she could feel herself falling until she collided with the same body that grunted right under her. The impact of her fall was muffled only making her breath hitch.

She raised her head from the body whose heart was about to thump right out of its ribcage—still feeling it thrash under her palms, something was buzzing too—Danielle went mute at the person right under her. It was none other than the local hero. 

“Here’s your phone; are you alright?” She took her phone–the call went to voicemail and that faint buzzing stopped–trying to find words but it was close to impossible as her own heart was pounding from the adrenaline the action had caused her. 

“Yeah, I’m alright.” She managed to get out, wanting to find the next words to thank her hero correctly, but she yelped once again. “Not the head–” Her body was flipped over, shutting her eyes tightly at the slight impact of her back against hitting the grass, however, her head was well protected by a hand. 

This time she opened her eyes and flinched. “Oh come on!” The hero exclaimed at the object that had been thrown their way, hitting the Spidey’s back.

“Five, six–” Danielle’s mouth was left agape at the hero who did a front handspring over her, “pick up sticks,” and then swung–with web–what was a thick branch, “seven, eight, lay them straight,” before launching it at the group of guys who got hit like bowling pins, some trying to scramble away.

“Why are you always daydreaming!?” Haerin was the one pulling the girl up from the grass and away from the fight scene.

“I’m saved as Y/n/n with a red heart in Dani’s contacts.”

“Great Y/n, but you’re literally in the middle of a fight.”

“She’s so pretty!”

“You’re hopeless.”

“I will be anything for her!”

“It all happened so quickly too!” Danielle exclaimed as they walked through the hallways of the college. The girl was so engulfed in the story she told that nothing else would reach her ears.

“I didn’t even notice the fight and suddenly there’s a commotion happening and one of them was about to crash right into me–one second I’m on the ground, the next I’m lifted from it–Spidey swoops in and saves me!”

“We believe you.” Hanni groaned as the girl wouldn’t stop talking about it.

“That’s not the point,” Danielle whined as she looked over her friends, her eyes momentarily landed on the girl who was trailing after them in the back, Y/n. She sighed and shook her head, looking back at Minji and Hanni who were closest to her.

“The point is that I didn’t even get to thank her.” She reasoned, feeling grateful, but somewhat bummed out that she couldn’t even thank the hero who saved her a few days ago.

“Plus Haerin and Y/n were there at the park with me so I have my proof–” She turned around and stretched out her arms to point at Haerin and Y/n, but ultimately stopped which made the whole group stop. “Where’s Y/n?” Her eyes left the spot where Y/n would be and they moved to Haerin who was about to open her mouth but was cut off by Minji.

“She always disappears into thin air.”

“The same thing happened yesterday when that fight happened,” Danielle mumbled and turned on her heels as they continued to walk through the hallway.

“The cat wouldn’t stop clawing at my arm.” 

Sakura threw a glance at the girl, tilting her head to try and have her at the correct angle as the Y/n hung upside down from the ceiling of their dorm. The curtains were down, the room was dim, lit up by Sakura’s setup who was busy fixing up the small tears in the spider suit. 

“Also!” She clicked her tongue at how loud Y/n got all of a sudden. The older girl hummed and flinched again at the loud clatter, looking over to her side to see the girl standing up from the floor and fixing the bin that got tipped over after the fall. “I’m quite sure Haerin knows…” Y/n finished and chewed on her nails as she walked to Sakura and looked over her shoulder. 

“Knows what?”

“My secret.” Y/n whispered right into her friend's ear which made Sakura press it against her shoulder at how it tickled. 

“She doesn’t.” 

The younger girl stood up straight and stretched her back, “I’m telling you, she knows more than she lets on.” She sighed at the feeling and looked back down at her roommate who turned in the swivel chair. The black with red details suit back to its normal self in her hands.

“You should get some rest,” Sakura suggested, dismissing Y/n’s suspicions while handing the suit over to her. 

The girl hummed. “I asked Yunjin to grab me a coffee on her way back, I’m heading to the public library to print some stickers. I made new designs.” Y/n explained as she moved behind the divider to slip the suit on and have it under her clothes.

“Why not the school’s library?” Sakura questioned as she turned back to her computer. 

“Believe it or not; the librarian has given me a ban.” 

“I believe it whole-heartedly.” She rolled her eyes as Y/n blew a raspberry and grabbed her backpack just as there was a knock on the door.

The girl paid no mind to anyone around her as headphones rested atop her ears, printing the stickers she would leave around the city when swinging around.

It was calm and she hadn’t bothered to return to her friends after disappearing to help out someone’s cat. It wasn’t like she didn’t want to hang out with them, the problem was Danielle. 

Well…Maybe Y/n was the problem because she forgot how to act correctly whenever Danielle smiled at her and just did anything around her. She couldn’t help but get lost in her every single time and it was difficult to keep up with anything else going on around her.

It had become a little problem when danger arose and the star of Y/n’s orbit was around. 

The girl quickly turned around, grabbing hold of the hand that was about to touch her shoulder and her eyes widened. With Danielle’s wrist still in her hold she pulled down her headphones with her free hand before quickly letting go of the latter’s hand. 

“Sorry!” She exclaimed and cowered after as it made people turn their heads in the silent library.

Y/n quickly reached for her phone to pause the music which was sounding through the headphones and looked at the two girls in front of her; Danielle let out a breathless chuckle.

“I tried to call your name at first.” Y/n pursed her lips, feeling how her face felt a lot hotter, not just her face, but her whole body. Was it the suit underneath? No because it never got hot in it.

The sound of the stickers printing was what truly brought her back and her eyes landed on Haerin who was right behind Danielle.

Their eyes met and Y/n felt a twinge of paranoia; both girls squinted their eyes at each other and Y/n’s gaze got a bit more intense almost challenging before Haerin frowned. 

‘Oh no, does she know?’

“Anyway–” Danielle was the one to break the silence and intense…staredown? She had no clue what it was, but it eased as Y/n’s eyes landed on her, making her smile a little bigger than she usually did. “You disappeared earlier.”

“Uhm, my roommate–I took her notes by accident instead of my own.” Y/n came up with a quick lie, nodding along to her words to make them seem more believable. 

“Oh okay, so we were talking earlier and I thought it would be better to ask in person,” Danielle continued to talk to the girl whose eyes were glimmering. Y/n was like water in the latter’s presence; glimmering anytime the sun appeared and warming right up for the whole day. 

‘You should probably be listening, but her hair then her eyes, there’s just something about her… Wow, Sakura would be disappointed at this behaviour.’

“Uh-huh.” Y/n nodded, trying her best to snap back into listening to the girl in front of her.

“We’re heading out on Saturday to this café and then we thought of heading to the movies–”

This time Y/n snapped out of it at the shift around her that made it tingle at the back of her head, the hairs on her neck standing up. As if on queue her phone started buzzing; Sakura. 

The loud sirens that were approaching made the two girls look behind them and by the time they looked back at Y/n all that was left were a few stickers that were still being printed. 

“There’s a car chase, actually headed right towards the public library where you are.”

“I’m telling you Haerin knows–Holy!”

“They drove into the building.”

“I can tell–the zipper of my hoodie is stuck.”

“Just leave it.”

“Right, good idea!”

The loud sound of glass breaking shook up the whole library, shrieks and panicked cries mixed in with the already loud volume of sirens and sizzling of what was a reeking car motor. Amidst the chaos and people trying to evacuate, the course of the tall bookshelves was yelling timber.

It seemed to not warn the two girls right under them quickly enough though. Danielle barely managed to make a sound from the fear, already grasping onto Haerin to try and get away from the falling shelves. However, their sense of orientation was extremely off in a moment of pure distress.

“Ready, quite not steady, and go!” A squeak and a grunt were all that was heard before the numerous thuds of shelves falling like dominos followed, leaving nothing but clouds of dust in the air.

Danielle shut her eyes tightly–unsure if she was dead or alive–while hugging the firm yet somehow comforting body. The wind gushed against her skin and she felt the pull of gravity before her toes felt the ground and she opened her eyes.

“Everything alright?” 

She swallowed, her knees almost giving up from the intensity of the adrenaline, once again being met by the local superhero. However, her eyes fell on the black zip-up hoodie, it was so oddly familiar, that it caused her deja vu and she wondered if a book had hit her head after all. It felt like she had seen it just a second ago, the black hoodie with a few red stars stitched onto it which was half zipped up. She was too shaken up to put a finger on it though. 

“Yeah?” She said, however, she did sound quite unsure as they stood now on the second level of the library by the fire escape staircase. Her eyes trailed up the slightly taller figure, the local Spidey tilted her head in confusion and leaned her face in slightly closer.

“Did anything hit your head?” “She’s fine, let’s go already!” Haerin impatiently complained as she was far too scared to stay any longer in the library after almost dying and then flying through the air. 

She grabbed hold of Danielle’s arm to pull her away, but the latter stopped. “Wait!” She finally came back to her senses and looked at the person who saved her.

The words were right at the tip of her tongue; wanting nothing more than to utter the words thank you. However, Haerin was too impatient as she kept on trying to drag the girl towards the exit that was being held open.

“It’s literally–” Danielle gasped, widening her eyes at the web that was shot at her friend, quite literally gluing her mouth shut and making her stumble.

“Cats don’t talk. It will dissolve in an hour or so, be safe, cya later, alligator…” The hero dove right back to the first level of the library and Danielle watched with a defeated look on her face. 

‘You’re so lame…Okay, but does she know? Dani is so cute though–’ 

“Not the printer!”

“That was so scary.” Danielle let out a breath, finally being able to breathe properly after forgetting to do it correctly due to the shock. Those near-death situations were taking a toll on her and she had yet to thank the person who had saved her each of those times. 

“Ugh, did any get in my hair?” 

She looked away from the distance of the campus grounds where they were sitting on a bench to reflect on what had happened. Her eyes landed on Haerin who hadn’t been pleased at all despite being saved. 

“But also so cool, she’s kind of cute.” The girl mumbled as she shook her head, forgetting what Haerin had asked.

Danielle’s thoughts were swinging through her head with no direction, she was trying to connect the web, but it was quite literally impossible because she had no clue where to start. Nothing made sense.

“First off, nothing cool or cute with what she did to me and second; why are you so obsessed with her?” Haerin complained and angrily leaned back against the bench while taking out her phone to check if she looked fine.

“It’s like white knight syndrome or whatever it’s called.” The younger girl added and put her phone away before looking at her friend who looked right back at her with a frown.

“It’s not, she saved me, I wanted to say thank you,” Danielle argued as she didn’t want anything else from the local hero. Just a small thank you.

“Yeah, but where’s Y/n?” That seemed to be a very common question. 

She parted her lips and looked at the lock screen of her phone; a message popped up right as she did. “I just got a text from her.” It was such a normal occurrence that she learned not to be as worried whenever the girl disappeared because somehow Y/n always ended up fine when she checked back to Danielle. 

She couldn’t lie and say that she didn’t get a little sombre whenever the girl just disappeared. It always made her wonder if Y/n really had emergencies or was looking for ways to escape her.

Has Danielle done something wrong? She sighed and opened the text, but despite those little worries she still smiled.

Danielle looked down at her phone, she had been preoccupied with her thoughts rather than paying the usual attention she would to her friends.

She was expecting a text from Y/n with another excuse because those weren’t unusual just like her leaving. It was hard to figure out what the problem was when Y/n was more of a mystery than anything most of the time. 

Maybe Danielle was reading too much into it?

The little bell above the door jingled, making the conversation stop for a second and Danielle looked up with hope that was nothing but crushed when it wasn’t Y/n.  

“Sorry!” Y/n exclaimed, running through the busy street with people. 

The girl glanced down at her phone, 20 minutes late, it could be worse. It had been a long and busy night, by the time she arrived at the dorm the sun was coming up and by the time she fell asleep her alarm started going off. Y/n had ignored Sakura’s advice to cancel and stay in to sleep; she couldn’t miss the opportunity to be with Danielle. 

She fixed the backpack that was sliding off her shoulder and took the last turn, finally arriving at the door of the café. Y/n stopped for a second, looking inside to see her group of friends already there.

Her eyes stayed fixated on the girl who was the definition of a sunflower the way she always looked at the bright side of things.

Danielle looked less bright this time though.

The girl pushed the door open and made it inside, clearing her throat and gazing towards the floor at the attention it got her. However, she didn’t miss how Danielle smiled towards her when her head turned.

“Sorry for being late.” She apologised like she usually got to do.

“Don’t worry about it, the movie starts in an hour so you have time.” Hanni was the one to speak and Y/n nodded, removing her backpack before trying as casually as possible to take a seat beside Danielle. It was like she forgot how to control her body around the girl, her whole body tingled as she took her seat and took a deep breath. 

She watched the girl that had been late who was now sitting and drinking a second coffee. Well, Danielle was observant, at least when it came to Y/n, she somehow caught on to the small changes in her. It wasn’t hard for her to tell that the girl who was sitting right beside her–their knees occasionally brushing, making them both freeze up–was exhausted. 

She felt a bit too shy to straight up ask if Y/n was fine, especially in front of the rest. The girl cared, but she was worried that it would be too obvious.

How stupid could she be? Y/n was her friend, she shouldn’t feel nervous about asking simple questions, or be nervous around her at all. It wasn’t how she felt around her other friends.

Yeah, Danielle liked to play coy with herself. 

She listened in on the conversation Y/n was having with the rest all while gathering some courage to pull Y/n into a conversation just with her once they would be done. However, she would second guess herself because the girl beside her who was close to falling asleep would always avoid her or just leave with no word. 

“Is the cake good?” It seemed to bring Danielle out of her thoughts, realising that she was overthinking once again. Y/n beat her to it and maybe the girl didn’t mind her in the end. The second Y/n would talk to Danielle she’d forget her worries and feel the jitters spark her up to talk. 

“Oh, yeah…Do you want some?” She asked as she looked down at the piece of cake that she had forgotten about midway because of how she lost herself. 

Y/n nodded her head, forgetting words as she was already stuttering in her body language unsure of what to do. Was she supposed to reach for the cake?

Her eyes watched Danielle who pushed it closer and Y/n was about to reach her hand for the fork, however, the latter beat her to it. Her eyes wandered, trying to look at Danielle who was looking at her, but she only could hold eye contact for a second and not any longer. 

‘Take a bite and act cool…You’re anything, but cool though.’

Y/n had a feeling she would melt from the heat running up to her ears as she let Danielle feed her. The cake was sweet, but Y/n couldn’t help but think about how much sweeter the girl beside her was as she smiled at her.

“I was worried you wouldn’t show up, you know?” Did that mean that Danielle liked having Y/n around? That she noticed when she wasn’t present? It could be a friendly thing though, right? 

‘You’re so bad at reading words.’

“Sorry, I was up studying and missed my alarm.” Y/n lied, she couldn’t tell the girl the truth. She couldn’t tell her that all those times she left her without a word was because she was more than just Y/n; the girl who rode her skateboard into Danielle on the first day of college. 

It made a shiver run across her body; maybe friends were all they should be. Y/n couldn’t provide Danielle with a sun 24/7 because she would always come and go. The girl beside her deserved a sun and more, all Y/n could give was the dust she left behind her every time she disappeared. 

“It’s fine, I’m happy you showed up in the end–” Danielle frowned when Y/n abruptly stood up from her chair, it caught everyone’s attention at the table. 

“Sorry! I have to take this,” she quickly excused herself, not waiting for another word as she grabbed her stuff and was already out the door. 

Danielle felt herself deflate once more as her head started to grasp at any possible straws as to why Y/n always left her behind. 

“There was a robbery at a corner store, he is heading your way right now.”

“Okay…”

“Are you alright?”

“Dani probably deserves better than me.”

“Why would you say that?”

“She deserves someone who can be there for her all the time, I can’t.”

“Y/n–”

What was peaceful yet somewhat gloomy for Danielle only seemed to turn worse when the door to the quiet café burst open. “Everyone get on the ground!” The sight of a man nothing more than paranoid and with a firearm was enough to cause chaos among the customers who ducked to the floor when the man pointed at them. 

“Oh no!” Hanni cried out as the four girls found themselves on the floor, trying to hide under the table and stay out of sight. 

“Shut up,” Minji warned as they had yet to have the gun pointed their way and seeing how the man was paranoid, anything could go wrong. 

“I just bought these jeans.” The shorter girl complained.

“Spider-woman, she’s here somewhere, I saw her!” The man exclaimed, revealing the cause of his paranoia. “I will hurt someone if she tries anything.”

“Am I the only one who finds it weird that–” Haerin tried to say something, only to have Minji cover her mouth, shushing her the same way she had done with Hanni.

Danielle thought she would grow used to it by now, but it wasn’t pleasant this time either when she was in danger. It seemed to be everywhere she went lately and each time she was more worried about Y/n than herself; what if she ran back inside? The man would fire right away, wouldn’t he?

Her eyes scanned around the place, her phone was still atop the table and she tried as subtly as possible to reach for it. It seemed though that Minji was as paranoid as the man with a gun; it was quite valid, but still.

“Stop it, he’s gonna see you.” 

“I need my phone.”

“What for? We’re all about to die.” Minji argued with the girl, trying to pull her back down and under the table where they hadn’t been spotted yet. 

“Oh my God, I don’t wanna die.” Hanni cried. 

“Look at what you did,” Danielle complained, trying to divert Minji’s attention to Hanni who was about to start crying. “I need it to–”

“What’re you two doing!?” Both girls flinched and tried to retreat right back to cower away from the man. Haerin clicked her tongue at Hanni who was close to climbing onto her to try and hide.

“Nothing good sir!” Minji squeaked out, widening her eyes as he made his way towards them.

“Throw your phones away.” He ordered them, Hanni and Minji were the first ones to slide their phones over to the man's feet. 

“You two, your phones.” Haerin was next when he pointed the firearm her way, but Danielle was stubborn. All she wanted to do was send a text to warn the girl who could show up any second. 

“Give him the damn phone.” They bickered, trying to pry it away from her hold. 

“Noo.” She whined, but it got snatched by none other than the man himself who tossed it to the side. 

“You.” “Me?” Minji pointed at herself when he pointed at her. “Get up.” 

“Well, I think I'd rather sit here and–” “I said get up!” Her arm got grabbed, her other arm slipping out of Hanni’s grasp who was still hiding behind Haerin.

“Okay, but you’re actually hurting my arm.” Minji pointed out, pointing at the hand that was gripping her arm quite tightly. 

“Are you all making fun of me!?” The man snapped and another wave of panicked gasps and cries echoed through the café when the firearm was pointed right at the girl; holding her at gunpoint. 

Danielle tried to look for a rational solution to this. Where were the cops? She looked around while her friends tried to reason with the criminal. Minji looked like she was about to pass out. 

Where was Spider-woman?

For whatever reason, she looked up with a frown and got her answer when she saw the figure through the closed ventilation. She blinked at the gesture of the hero who was signalling. Danielle got it.

“Knock knock.” The man snapped his head up at the ventilation right above him at the voice. 

“Who’s there, I will shoot!” 

“Your friendly neighbourhood spider-woman,” yet again, screams followed as the vent fell out and a gunshot followed, hitting the ceiling. Danielle quickly got up and grabbed hold of Minji’s arm, pulling her away while the hero tackled the man right to the ground.

The four girls watched the hero who saved the day once again swing away and disappear between the buildings. As they fell into chatter about what had happened while the cops handled the rest of the situation, Danielle finally got to open her messages with Y/n. It had been a while since she left.

“Hey–” She didn’t manage to even start the text and looked right back up, seeing the girl running towards them. “What happened?” Hanni was the first one to jump right into explaining what happened as if she hadn’t cried through the whole scene.

“How about we just watch a movie at our dorm?” Minji suggested, offering hers and Hanni’s dorm after what happened. 

“Are you alright?” Y/n walked over to Danielle as they all started heading back to college grounds, knowing very well what had gone down in the café the second she left. She still wanted to make sure that Dani was alright. 

Danielle hummed and gave Y/n a smile. “Yeah,” she chuckled and looked over the girl’s face who still looked just as tired. She smiled a little bigger at the genuine worry Y/n’s face held. “You’re lucky.” She commented.

“I am?” Y/n questioned, getting another hum, watching the way Danielle gave her a nod of affirmation with it. Her breath got caught in her throat when she felt Danielle’s fingers brush against hers. 

‘Hold her hand, just take it into yours like they do in movies…’ 

Y/n glanced down at the girl’s hand–their friends not paying them any mind as they walked in front of them–they were so close and all she wanted to do was hold Dani’s hand. 

“Yeah, it’s like you sense danger, the way you disappear when something bad is about to happen.” Y/n let out a small laugh at the words that reminded her of why she had disappeared and remembered what she had come to realise right before it.

“I think Sakura is the one who can sense it since she called.” 

Danielle twisted her lips, trying to keep up her smile as she glanced down–wanting to hold Y/n’s hand–and Y/n put her hands in the pockets of her jeans. 

“You did miss Spiderwoman though.” She joked, trying to lighten up her heart which seemed to get a little dull. 

“So…Somewhere between lucky and unlucky.” Danielle smiled, shaking her head, Y/n still managed to brighten up everything for her. 

Danielle hadn’t been expecting much to come out of sitting and watching movies in Minji and Hanni’s cramped dorm. It was cosy, to say the least, but she was still too busy thinking about the girl beside her. 

Could she even call them mixed signals? 

Dani felt time stop for a few seconds, her heart stalled as she tensed up. She tried to move as little as possible as she was sitting on the bed with the girl whose head was now on her shoulder. It wasn’t weird, she would lend her shoulder to all her friends, that’s just how she was, but having Y/n’s head drop onto her shoulder felt different and she was aware. 

Painfully aware.

She glanced down at the girl who was asleep, carefully moving her hand over to Y/n’s which was resting beside her leg. Danielle gently ran her fingers over the girl’s arm which was covered by a hoodie.

She smiled when she got to the girl’s hand, tracing her thumb over Y/n’s soft palm before she pulled the sleeve of the hoodie down further and took her hand into her lap; she did get to hold her hand in the end. 

All Danielle needed to do now was just find the opportunity to talk to Y/n.

After a day that had felt dragged out attending classes, Y/n found herself away from campus. The ground under her vibrated as yet another train passed by, sitting right under the subway tracks where the old and quite abandoned skatepark was.

It had been a while since she last had time to enjoy it and mess around on her board, however during one of her classes with Dani the girl had asked her if they could spend time alone.

Of course, Y/n had concluded that a crush was all that Danielle would ever be to her and she would never become more. How could she become more if Y/n couldn’t even start by giving her enough now? 

It didn’t mean that she wouldn’t spend time with her, especially since just the thought of Dani made Y/n smile which was something she always needed in her world.

Who would have thought that being the local superhero could turn so gloomy at times? She loved it, but it took away a lot, especially the people around her and holding a secret this big could almost feel like a heavy burden on her shoulders. 

She glanced at her phone, bobbing her head along to the song that played through the speakers of her headphones. The girl had arrived earlier to skate before Danielle would arrive and the latter should be there soon enough unless she had missed her train. 

However, nothing could go as planned for Y/n when her music was interrupted by a call from Sakura.

“There have been disruptions between the control centre and the incoming subway train after the ropes snapped on the crane causing girders to fall right atop the tracks, Y/n.”

“Is it really that–Wait, is it the train that stops near the campus?”

“Exactly that one and it will fly right off the rails in a few minutes.”

“Dani is on that train.”

Danielle flinched at the sudden and loud thud that made her look up from her phone, eyes widening at the familiar figure that clung onto the side of the train, staring right at her through the window.

She was confused, watching the spider crawl up and disappear and suddenly her heart rate spiked up. 

Of course, Spider-Woman was nothing but good, but if she suddenly appeared, it could only mean that something was wrong. Not only did she appear out of nowhere, but quite literally halfway changed with a hoodie, shorts, and sneakers still on with the suit under the regular clothes. 

How bad was it?

Danielle got her answer the second the train screeched, making her grab hold of the pole she stood beside to not fly right onto the floor at the abrupt stop. It was still rolling, trying to stop, screeching and making people fall into panicked chatter, trying to figure out what was going on.

Something made the air shake from what sounded like an explosion. 

It all turned into those familiar gasps and distressed shouts as everyone was growing scared; Danielle included when the railway vehicle finally came to a stop but with a loud crash and suddenly the wagon was starting to tip over, tilting forward. As far as Dani was concerned the subway didn’t go downhill, especially not at a steep angle like this was starting slowly to become. 

It had stopped, but it was gradually with intervals tilting or more so falling more and more. Danielle quickly moved over to the windows, grabbing hold of another pole to try and get a peek at what was going on. 

“The whole crane exploded and the bridge!”

“Are you handling it? This is probably something more than just an accident.” 

“I’m trying to prevent the operator cab from falling off and dragging the rest of the wagons with it–people need to start evacuating from the back exit.”

Watching the front of the train hang in the air, supported by multiple webs that connected to the other end of the bridge, looked far from right. It wasn’t right as she watched the hero shoot more strings to hold it all up.

She could barely see through the thick black clouds of smoke that were coating the air around it from the fire under it. 

“Everyone, evacuate through the last wagon, firefighters are waiting!” That was all she caught before people started to pile up to get to the back. They were quite literally in the third wagon–the second was out of service, the first one off the rails. 

Danielle got bumped into as she was about to do the same, her frame being pushed the wrong way and the subway train dropped yet again, making her stumble back and onto the hard floor with a yelp. The angle would become steep any second now and she wouldn’t be able to make it out at all.

Oh was she going to die such a pathetic death?

No way, she still had to talk to Y/n, may that thought be what saved her as yet another explosion followed with terrified screams. 

“Give me a break.” She groaned in annoyance and pulled herself up on her feet, watching people running out of the wagon she was in and disappear, heading towards the end of the tail.

Clearly, not everyone could be called a hero after no one had even considered helping her up. Bitterly she was back up on her feet, holding onto whatever she could to make it easier to walk up the acute angle. 

It wasn’t too bad yet, but she felt heat run across her spine because it couldn’t be good for too long. Lately, it has been anything but good, but she tried to look on the bright side, if she got out she would finally be able to talk to Y/n; she has waited a week now to gather the courage.

It wasn’t good, but it could be worse, couldn’t it?

Danielle ran, whatever was happening behind her didn’t sound good at all and it felt like she was running on a treadmill whose incline constantly went up. Exhaustion was starting to take over and her legs burned, praying that she wouldn’t slip because if she went down now, there was no going back. 

Nope! She probably jinxed herself.

Something snapped–the webs–and it was free fall from there, right back to where she came from. She tried to grab onto something, but her feet didn’t slip, however, her hands did as she missed the next pole, only touching it with her fingertips.

A shriek escaped her lips and no thoughts were left in her head, vividly aware of there being no point as nothing mattered anymore if she was falling to her death anyway.

“Incy Wincy Spider climbed up the rails!” Her body was caught and she huffed, tightly wrapping her arms around the shoulders. “Down goes the train!” Only hearing the webs shoot out before they were launched up, a loud crash followed with another explosion after them and she didn’t dare to open her eyes because she couldn’t tell if she was alive or dreaming after feeling a wave of heat hit her too. 

The air around her swooshed, sirens, screams and it was all growing faint as an arm wrapped around her waist. She slowly dared to open her eyes, she was far from the ground and it made her grip tighten. 

Dani however trusted the person who held her, trusting her not to let her fall as she hadn’t let her fall with the train she saw down below; it had fallen off the tracks, going up in flames with everything else. The Spidey who was holding onto her kept humming the nursery rhyme she had tweaked earlier.

She inhaled deeply at the pull of gravity with her eyes closed, she only opened them once she felt the ground under her feet.

“You’re all safe now.” Danielle carefully stepped back, looking around to see that she was at the top of a building. Her eyes fell back on the girl in front of her before she could disappear.

“The door is unlocked and you can just head down.” She looked where the door was and snapped her head back at the footsteps.

There was still something she wanted to do, something she had wanted to do for a while now and she’s simply never had the chance. Spider-woman lived a fast-paced life, but Dani was sure she could make some time for her, at least for a few minutes.

“Wait!” She exclaimed and grabbed onto the girl’s wrist who had turned around to run off. It made Spidey turn back around on her heels with a hum, tilting her head at Danielle. She let go and took a breath before swallowing to make room for the words.

“Thank you.” Danielle finally managed to get out and let out a breathless chuckle at the finger-guns pointed at her as the hero slowly backed up. This was it.

“Of course, I’m your friendly neighbourhood–”

“Thank you for always looking out for me, Y/n.” Dani added and inhaled deeply, balling up her fists before she relaxed, releasing that breath she took. 

“What?”

“I know you’re under the mask, Y/n,” Danielle stated, her tone firm yet she felt it all shaking up inside her. 

The hero let out a little chuckle. “What if I’m not actually under the mask? Won’t it be embarrassing for you if you are wrong?

She let out a breath, a hopeless chuckle and maybe she couldn’t get Y/n to trust her. 

“Y/n, I’ve been sure about it for the past week,” the signs were all there laid out in front of her this whole time, they had been especially clear these past few weeks.

The time in the park when a phone was buzzing and stopped the second Dani’s call to Y/n ended. 

The hoodie in the library, Y/n had the same hoodie on her before disappearing, Danielle had seen the girl wear it on multiple occasions before too. Sakura had helped her patch those stars onto it; Y/n would never shut up about it and Dani loved watching her happily boast about her roommate.

The rhymes, the ‘cya later alligator’ and the lame but somehow endearing and cute actions and words she only knew Y/n for. 

Simply the fact that Y/n always disappeared whenever crime took place. Hell, she had never seen Spider-woman and Y/n in the same room and considering how often she was with Y/n it would have happened by now. 

The Saturday after what happened at the café when they went to watch movies at their friends' dorm. That was the night her suspicions got confirmed when she saw the suit peek out from Y/n’s hoodie, making Danielle cover it for her so no one else would see. 

Everything was in front of her now as the Spider-woman was wearing Y/n’s clothes over the suit. 

Dani watched the way Spider-woman, Y/n, slumped her shoulders and looked down. 

“Dani–” Y/n tried, but was cut off by the latter. 

She was feeling vulnerable, everything she had tried to prevent from happening was happening. Y/n was supposed to leave Danielle behind, but now she knew about her biggest secret. She was letting her into parts of her life she hadn’t let anyone else into except her roommate. 

“I just wish you trusted me the same way I trust you and wouldn’t put a distance between us.” She let out, jutting out her lower lip as she frowned, her deep breaths mixing with the wind that howled in her ears. 

“I don’t put a distance between us, Dani.” Y/n tried to argue, but she knew very well how many miles she had put between them. From the secrets to the lies, all the way to all the things she had done to try and avoid letting Danielle in too close. She couldn’t do it to the girl, she couldn’t let her into a place she would never stay in because Y/n would always come and go.

That was her life as the friendly neighbourhood Spider-woman.

“But you do and I don’t understand why…You won’t even take off your mask!” She raised her voice in desperation as she refused to let Y/n close the door on her.

Dani never cared about Y/n staying, all she cared about was being let inside so Y/n would have someone to come back to once she did. She had come to the realisation–after figuring out the girl’s secret identity–that Y/n would always leave, but she’d also always come back.

If only she had let Danielle know why she always left in the first place then they wouldn’t be in this position.

Y/n huffed and pulled the mask off of her face, using her sleeve to wipe away the tears that had formed from the intensity of the moment as so much had just happened.

All she could do now was make Danielle understand just why she put a distance between them; explain why she distanced herself from most people. How her life was miserable without the people closest to her, but how she still couldn’t be as close as she wanted with them. 

How Dani deserved way better than her.

Y/n bunched up the mask in her fist, she loved it, she loved it all, but she hated so many parts of it. She hated that to save the lives of people, she had to hurt the people she loved the most by disappointing them. 

“You know it's like when my spidey senses are tingling but the difference is that you cause more than a micro shift when you step in a room and it causes my whole body to tingle.” Y/n at last confessed, the words bursting out of her as she threw her arms up. It made her pace back and forth at the frustrations of having so much to give, but not being able to. 

“I feel so hopeless because you’re the sunshine, a sunflower always looking towards the bright and I try to do that but my world isn't as bright.” She continued, refusing to look at Danielle as she stopped and glared down at the roof under her feet.

Y/n’s body deflated like a balloon, feeling all those pent-up emotions of anger disappear and the sadness of the situation wash over her instead.

“It’s full of danger, it’s full of uncertainty about tomorrow, it can turn gloomy on the brightest days, it’s a burden I love and hate carrying. It isn’t something you deserve, something anyone close to me deserves.” Y/n sighed and all she felt like doing was crying as she knew that it was over from here.

“I will never be able to just be there, I will always appear and disappear.”

Danielle would understand the reality of Y/n’s life and leave her behind before Y/n could do it; not like she would be able to do it, but the sunflower would turn away from the sun that never stayed, and find one that would always be there. 

“Dani, you deserve better than me.” Y/n widened her eyes and looked up in panic. “Oh my god do you even like me like that!?” It would be embarrassing if she had just assumed that Danielle wanted to be more than friends. Even if they would only be friends, Y/n still needed her to understand why the distance was needed.  

Danielle chuckled, watching the girl who almost jumped at the sheer panic. She heard every word Y/n told her and instead of them pushing her away, they made her want to step so much closer to her. It made her realise how much Y/n needed someone and she wanted to be that someone simply because it was Y/n. 

“You don’t even realise what you’re saying.” The girl stated as she made it in front of Y/n and grabbed hold of her hands. Dani looked down at the mask clutched in the gloved hand, the mask of far more responsibility than one person could carry alone. 

“What?” Y/n looked at the girl who she viewed as a sunflower, feeling the warmth swallow her ears when Danielle looked up and met her eyes.

Under the sun, her eyes glimmered, with the wind her curls gently moved and with the smile that plastered itself on her lips Y/n’s whole world lit up and it always made everything feel easier. 

“A sunflower?” Danielle questioned with a breathless chuckle, her thumbs caressing Y/n’s hands. 

“Yes…” She mumbled, glancing away as she was worried that Dani would find the comparison stupid. 

“I look towards the bright, I look at you and get warm, feel a smile form, Y/n. Why on earth would I ever not like you back? If I’m a sunflower then you’re the sun I turn towards.”

Yeah, Danielle’s whole body was fuzzy and maybe her fingers would tremble from the nerves if she didn’t hold onto Y/n, but she dwelled on the feeling as she watched Y/n with a fond smile. The girl simply made her feel warm and bright just by being there. 

It made her burdens disappear, she only wanted Y/n to feel the same way. 

“You’re exactly what I deserve and want and you deserve to have someone there for you too. I can’t let you carry it all alone. So what if you leave? So does the sun in the sky.” She glanced towards the said sun with her eyes squinted, tightening her grip on Y/n.

Danielle was ready to risk it all for Y/n because she was all that she wanted. It was scary, she had to admit that it was, Y/n was right, tomorrow was unknown and it was terrifying but she knew what she wanted at the moment and that was where she lived, only worrying about what was now. She could worry about the unknown future when it would come. 

“You deserve someone who will be there when you come back and I want to be that home for you, Y/n.” 

Y/n had no words; she hadn’t been expecting things to turn out this way at all. She had expected Danielle to leave her, to be a sun with nothing to warm up.

Her ears were muffled, her face felt hot, her heart beat up in her ears and she could feel those tingles running all over her body again, feeling the shift in her that the girl in front of her always caused.

Suddenly she felt like the bee that was drawn to the sunflower because the warmth it gathered had been just what Y/n needed without realising. Luckily she had Dani to realise it for her. 

The girl huffed when Y/n crashed into her, hugging her close. Danielle wrapped her arms around Y/n’s waist, resting her cheek against the taller girl’s shoulder.

The loud thumping of Y/n’s heart matched hers and she smiled, closing her eyes as she could remember how it sounded the same that day in the park. They were tangled up together, but tangled together in webs of love with their hearts. 

“Thank you, Dani.” She mumbled. 

The girl was everything that she had imagined and so much more as she turned out to be something that Y/n also needed. Most importantly, Y/n–not spider-woman–but Y/n was someone that was needed beyond her secret identity, someone who Danielle wanted and needed there. 

“I’m always here.” She reassured Y/n as they pulled back, she bit her lower lip at the blush on Y/n’s cheeks who exhaled deeply before looking at her seriously. However, Dani’s silly superhero couldn’t keep her composure as she covered her face with her gloved hands, letting out an almost inaudible squeal.

“It’s official then!” Danielle hummed, tilting her head and Y/n peeked out from between her fingers. 

“You’re my girlfriend.” 

“Oh? Just like that?” She questioned with a laugh at the statement, seeing that she hadn’t been left with another choice as Y/n finally showed her flushed face with that big smile. 

“Yes, it’s not even up for discussion–” Y/n firmly stated as she put the mask back on, stepping back she pointed at Danielle with finger guns once again. “I will go and figure out whatever it was that happened and meet you at the dorms.” 

She giggled, nodding at Y/n words, watching the girl who was turning around, but she stopped just as she was going to run off. 

“Wait, wait, can we just—what if…” Y/n stuttered, turning back around on her heels, she cleared her throat and rubbed at the back of her neck. “We kiss.” She tried to suggest as casually as possible with a shrug, letting her hand fall. 

“If you want to.” 

“Yes, I'd love to.” 

Danielle shook her head as Y/n didn’t move from her spot, so she took it upon herself after seeing the girl glued to her spot. She looked up at Y/n who hadn’t even started to lift the mask.

“You’re such a goof,” Dani stated and reached up, pulling Y/n’s mask up above her nose before cupping her face and leaning in as she stood on her toes, finally feeling Y/n move and hold onto her waist.

‘Oh my, about to faint, Dani is going to kiss you, you’re about to kiss–!!!!!!!!!!!’

[foreingersgod]

Can you write kate Martin x reader that she’s completely whipped by but they get into an argument and Kate says something she didn’t mean?

Wedding Planning . KM

pairing: kate martin x reader

synopsis: kate says something she doesn’t mean and it puts your relationship at risk.

A/N: guys i think this is my favorite kate fic so far

my masterlist

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

it had felt like you’ve known kate for a lifetime, having been together for 5 years. so naturally, when she proposed to you on your anniversary, you could hardly contain your excitement. there were tears, kissing and laughing (and the best engagement sex ever). it was the absolute best night of your life.

since you were a little girl you had dreamed of your wedding. you were obsessed with wedding dresses and falling in love, constantly imaging what your life was going to look like. when you’d play outside you’d make wedding bouquets out of wild flowers, or when you would draw portraits they’d always depict you walking down the isle. now that you were grown and engaged to the love of your life, you couldn’t wait to get started on planning the wedding.

kate, although she was equally ecstatic to get married, wasn’t as keen on wedding planning. she was more laid back with decisions and didn’t have any particular opinions on how she wanted it to look. ‘just as long as you’re happy, babe’ she would say. you didn’t mind all that much, in fact it made your life easier. you had full reign to make your wedding exactly how you had pictured it.

on the downside, it felt like you were doing this all alone when you really wished it was something you two could do together. you just wanted to sit down, after kate came home from practice and you from work, and look through different flowers and centerpieces. you wanted to do cake testings and pick out color schemes. but kate’s answer was always the same when you asked: ‘whatever you like, i like’.

you knew that possibly couldn’t be true. kate was an open book and you knew literally everything about her. there had to be at least one cake flavor she despised or one flower she didn’t like, there’s no way she was fine with anything. sometimes you felt irritated that there weren’t any disagreements about the wedding, she accepted any ideas you threw her way and it really bothered you. planning a wedding, throwing a party in honor of your love for one another, should be about what both of you want.

it had already been months since your engagement and the wedding was rolling around quicker than expected. within days, you became stressed and overwhelmed. there were still so many decisions to make, so many people to call, so many things that still needed to be made perfect. these past few weeks have been incredibly hectic, and to no surprise, you felt isolated and alone. perhaps it was just typical bridal anxiety, or maybe it was the fact that your fiancé wanted nothing to do with helping prepare for your big day.

one late night, around 12 am, you sat on the floor of your shared living room. you had came home late from a night shift at work, waiting up for kate to come home from a night out with the team. with the wedding being so close you decided to spend the extra time tying loose ends and checking things off your to do list. you always waited for kate when she was out late, it was near impossible to sleep without her, so you didn’t mind.

there were folders and binders spread on the coffee table in front of you. little scraps of color samples and inspiration pictures took up every square inch, various phone numbers and addresses also scattered every which way. to any outsider, it’d seem like chaos, but you enjoyed the sweet moments of wedding planning.

not long after you organized the floral section of your wedding binder, you heard the lock of the front door click open. it was followed by the creak of the hinges and heavy footsteps. you looked over from your spot on the ground, seeing kate drop her bag at the door and kick her shoes off. she was tired, you could tell, but still buzzing from hanging out with her teammates.

“hey, baby! you’re home!” you smiled as she approached you. she leant down to press a chaste kiss to your lips before setting down on the couch that you sat against.

“hey,” she was slightly out of breath. she was leaning over your shoulder now, eyeing the mess on the table “wedding stuff? this late?”

“yeah, i wanted to keep myself busy while i waited for you”

“gotcha” with a monotone response, she was already dismissing you and pulling out her phone. she didn’t ask about what you were arranging or what folder you were working on, but instead she was checking instagram?

it made your blood boil slightly, the way that she was completely clueless to anything wedding related.

“want to help me?” you asked, looking back at her “if you’re gonna be up for a little longer, i’d like the help”

“you know me, babe. i’m really not good with that, you’ve got the eye for all of it” she didn’t even bother to make eye contact with you.

“really?” you choked back a scoff, torn between wanting to be mad and confront her or letting the matter roll over.

“what do you mean ‘really’?” now she was paying attention, typical.

“don’t worry about it, let’s just go to to bed” you pushed yourself off the floor, putting on your slippers and heading for the stairs. before you could move, however, kate had grabbed your wrist gently to keep you in place.

“well i am worried,” her face contorted to any angry frown “why are you mad all of the sudden?”

“because kate, you’re pissing me off”

“what the hell did i do?”

you wanted to scream, the emotion starting to build up inside of you. for months you had been annoyed with how she left all the wedding stuff for you to do. how she didn’t even want to be involved in this made you feel like you weren’t doing this wedding to proclaim your love, that you were really just doing it for yourself.

it wasn’t your intention to pick this fight tonight, but oh god did you just want to get it all off your chest.

“i’m pissed because you don’t even want to help with this wedding, kate! you can’t even sit down with me for 5 minutes and help me organize a fucking folder”

“that’s not true i-”

“no it is!” you didn’t even want to hear the bullshit that was bout to spew from her mouth. she remained on the couch, jaw clenched in anger as you cut her off “every time i ask you to do something, you blow me off and leave me to do it by myself! you have no interest in doing any of it with me”

“babe, i’m just not good at that stuff. i thought you wanted to plan this?” she was chewing at the inside of her cheeks now, you could tell she was trying to avoid this conversation.

“with you! i want to plan this with you! but for some reason you want no part in it! i have asked time and time again for a little help in hopes that you’d become interested in it. because in all honesty, kate, i don’t even care about the wedding being perfect. i just want to do it with you! i want you to care and to go to run wedding errands with me, i want you to want to do it with me, but you don’t even give a shit!”

her face started to turn red with annoyance, eyes pressed shut. her large hands covered her face as the ran down her cheeks. she was practically huffing as she sat there listening to you completely hound her for her disinterest.

“you haven’t even asked me about what flowers i decided to go with or shown any fucking interest in my god damn dress. my dress, kate, the part that i’m most excited for. you don’t even care about that and it hurts. and you dont ev-”

“jesus, i don’t care about the fucking wedding, YN!”

she could have just punched you right in the face, it probably would have hurt less than hearing her say that. your heart dropped, noticing how she was seething in rage. jaw still clenched, hands tugging at the roots of her hair, trying to calm herself down.

your eyes welled with tears, body frozen as you tried to process what just happened. she she really not care at all? it didn’t take long for the tears to start spilling, running down your cheeks in heavy cascades. a sob struck your body, you tired to bite your lip to hold it back but it was no use.

“great,” you muttered. she finally looked up at, body softening when she realized what she said “glad i know how you feel”

“baby…” she stood up abruptly, trying to come over to you.

“save it, it’s clear that you don’t care about the wedding” more sobs took over you, it killed kate to see you like this. she was kicking herself internally for even thinking that. why did she say that?

“if it’s really that big of a deal” you stepped back when kate tried to reach for you hand to apologize “then let’s just call the whole thing off”

“YN, no” she begged, tears of her own building up “baby come on, i didn’t mean it, don’t say that”

“why not? i mean you don’t have any interest in it. like at all, not even enough to spend time with me to do it. so let’s just call it”

“i don’t want to call it off” her lips contorted to a frown “i wouldn’t have proposed if i didn’t want to marry you and spend the rest of my life with you. honey please, i don’t want to call it off”

“you’re not acting like it” is all you could say, you were truly speechless at this point. “why scream at me that you ‘don’t care about the wedding’ when i’m trying to express my feelings to you if you don’t want to call it off”

“because i’m a fucking idiot” her voice wobbled as she began to cry. the pattern of her tears mimicking yours “i don’t know why i said that, it’s not true even in the slightest. i’ve just been so stressed with everything recently and stuff with the wedding has just been so overwhelming, but at the end of the day i just want to marry you, baby. that’s no excuse, i’ll admit that i haven’t been a very good fiancé”

“no you haven’t” you crossed your arms, wiping away some of your tears “i know things are stressful…and i get that, but you don’t even seem interested. like you don’t want to do this with me”

“i do,” another wave of sadness washes over her “i think i’m just scared. things are happening so quick and change makes me nervous…our life is so perfect and i’m worried that i’m gonna fuck it up somehow. whether it’s planning the wedding or being a shitty wife, i feel like im going to fail”

“kate…” you swallowed deeply. it sent another pang to your heart knowing that this is how she felt all along “is that really how you feel? like you’re going to fail?”

she nodded, sniffling as she looked down at her feet in embarrassment. you ran over to her in an instant to pull her into your arms. she collapsed into your body, arms wrapping around your waist, chin sitting atop your shoulder as she cried to you. your hands rubbed her back smoothly, letting her get all of it out.

“i’m sorry, i’m so sorry that i’ve been so shitty” you could feel your shirt dampen with teardrops “you don’t deserve any of this. i can’t believe i said i don’t care, i never meant it, i swear”

“hey hey hey,” your hand now finding the back of her head, running your fingers through her hair “it’s going to be ok, i get it, we can work past that. but the last thing i want is for you to feel like you’re going to be a shitty wife. baby, i don’t think you could be a bad wife even if you tried”

“you’re just saying that”

“i’m not! i mean it! you’re the love of my life and i think you’re perfect inside and out. i wouldn’t have said yes if i didn’t accept every part of you. we’ll have ups and downs like everyone does, but that doesn’t mean i don’t still love you and it certainly doesn’t make you a shitty wife”

she released you from the hug when you took ahold of her shoulders. you ran your palms up and down her biceps before moving to her face, fingers grazing her cheekbones.

“it’s going to be ok, alright?” you cracked a smile, pressing a kiss to her forehead as you got up on your tip toes.

“i’m sorry, i love you so much” she pulled you in for a real kiss, this time, lips coming into contact with yours.

“i love you too”

after that night, kate made it her mission to change. she started helping out more, like you had asked, but she was also doing things on her own. kate picked out her suit, called the wedding photographer, and a handful of other things on your list. it was clear to you now that she just needed reassurance. it was going to take sometime to recover from what she had said to you, but you knew none of it was true and it was something you could work past.

you just wanted to marry your girl.

and marry her, you did.

[barcaatthemoon]

always || kim little x reader ||

You and Kim would always have each other, no matter what.

Your mother was an absolute lifesaver. Today, you started your first day as a football commentator for the WSL. Sports journalism had always been your backup plan, not believing yourself to be a good enough leader to be a coach. Since it was your first day, you had to leave hours earlier than Kim did to get ready.

Still, Kim hadn't wanted to just leave your two year old home alone, so she had dropped him off with your mother on her way to the stadium. A game at Emirates was a big deal, and for you to be making your commentary debut was also huge. You were so nervous, more so than you had been in years for anything else.

Technically, it was nothing new to you to give a bit of commentary here and there. However, now this wasn't just something you did while you waited to get over an injury or your pregnancy. This was your job now that you had retired from football on a club and international level. Kim was excited for you, but it was weird having this be the first season at Arsenal where your name wasn't on any list.

The game itself went well, and you were absolutely elated to announce your wife's early goal. Even better for you was pointing out the celebration that puzzled a few people meant for your son. If you had been given the view of the crowd, you knew for certain that he was mirroring Kim's movements. He wanted to be just like her, Kim was his hero.

After the game, you were free to go down to the field. You had done little interviews with the players before, but now you got to take your son and spend some time with your wife. Kim had taken your son already, and several of the players were running around with him in a circle.

"Oh wow," Kim muttered under her breath as you approached. "You look beautiful, absolutely breathtaking."

You blushed heavily as Kim pulled you in for a kiss. You kissed her back, only breaking the kiss to tell her, "Years later, and you still make me blush."

"It's easy to be charming with you," Kim said. You kept yourself wrapped around you wife, resting your head on top of hers. The two of you stood and watched your son play with her teammates. It was hard to think about, but there would soon come a day whenever neither of you would be a part of this team anymore. You'd keep your friends from it, but there was something else about it that you knew Kim would miss dearly.

"Mumma look!" Both you and Kim looked at your son. She smiled as he tackled the ball away from Jordan to pass it over to Lia.

"He's gonna be the best midfielder in the world one day," you mumbled as you pressed a kiss to Kim's cheek. There had once been a time whenever you had been hopeful that your boy would come out a natural goalkeeper, but Kim's influence on him was too strong. You didn't mind though, not when you got to see the love shared between them firsthand. If there was anybody in the world Kim loved more than you, it was your boy.

"He could change his mind. Someone will come along one day that he finds cooler than me." Kim sounded sad as she spoke, so you turned her around in your arms to give her a kiss. Years ago, you never would have even thought of kissing Kim in public. You'd been caught up in professionalism, but now, all you wanted to do was shout your love for her from every rooftop in London. It was wild to you how quickly a few things could change like that.

"Well, even if he's not obsessed with you anymore, I always will be," you told her. Kim laughed at that, remembering the way you used to follow her around. It had taken years of teasing and encouragement from Jen and a couple of your other teammates for you to finally let any moves be made with Kim. "I may have started a new job, but I'll always be your number one cheerleader."

"Yeah? Well, I can't wait to tell everybody about my very hot wife who talks about how great I am on TV," Kim said. There was a teasing lilt to her voice. You rolled your eyes and brushed off the comment, only to later check tweets about the game to learn that Kim didn't have to say anything to anybody. Everybody already knew about your relationship, and they were eating up the way that you spoke about Kim's playstyle and the rest of your friends at Arsenal.

[zkaus]

At the back of my copy of The Vampire Armand, there's an old interview with Anne Rice talking about creating that novel. I've never forgotten her answer to one of the questions... It haunted me for years.

It gives incredible insight into how and why she wrote such beautiful, brutal and broken characters, and what she endured in the creation process.

BUT before you read this, I'm going to STRONGLY warn you, it goes to very very DARK places

Q: What are your work habits for a novel?

A: Once I truly begin to write, I work obsessively, in twelve-hour days, punctuated by days of long sleep and vivid dreaming. Starting time and ending time are no longer important. I might begin at 9 A.M., or after noon or at eight in the evening. I go from there. I turn on the computer and write, write, write.

My room is a mess. Notes are scribbled on the walls so that I can look up at them at the appropriate moments and insert the date, the name, whatever, when I need it. Books are stacked so high that people have to search for me when they come into the room. Opened books with marked-up pages are stacked on top of one another.

I become suicidal. I go through a horrid despair some time or other before the final page, during which everything seems meaningless—from the dawn of history to the very hour in which I am writing.

I’m intolerable to live with. But I spread myself thin over a number of loved ones and staff members so that no one person has to put up with how intense, hysterical, and miserable I am.

When I get elated and talk fast and furiously about wonderful aspects of history or the characters, or good developments in the story, people run away from me. I don’t blame them.

While the novel is being written, I try to avoid dressing for outdoors. No one can make you go out if you don’t have shoes on. Not even in the south. I wear long velvet robes and soft velvet slippers. I refuse to go out. All food is brought in. I eat hamburgers because they are easy to hold with one hand while reading and holding the book with the other hand.

In the middle of the night I read, sometimes on the carpeted floor of the bathroom, just because it’s warm. I am wretched. I don’t care anymore about being abnormal. Writing is everything. Everything. It seems impossible to write the book. It seems impossible to lift a hairbrush to brush my hair. But I do it. I put on mascara every day that I write.

This period of intense work lasts about six weeks. It’s best that way. My imagination is overheated, and my memory clogged with data of varying importance. If I go over six weeks, I begin to forget things; I feel the loss of intensity and information and I become all the more self-destructive and obsessed.

The end of the book is a big event for me. A big event. I start screaming. I put the hour and the date at the end of the last page. I expect everybody to understand, at least a little. It’s a triumph! The darkness of destiny has been driven back for a brief while. I celebrate. I scream, eat chocolate, and sleep.

Right near the end of writing The Vampire Armand, I realized I had to return to Italy, especially to Florence, and at once I began to make preparations for the trip. As soon as the novel was finished and off to the publisher’s, as soon as it could be accomplished, I flew to Italy. That gave me hope, a way out of a life threatening darkness that often follows the climax of a book. But I still ate chocolate and screamed.

While writing, I don’t want to rest. I don’t want to sleep. Why sleep? It seems stupid, except when weariness overcomes me like a giant cloud of poisonous vapor. Then I sleep fifteen to twenty hours. I tell people to go in and out of the bedroom and ignore me lying there, as if I were dead. I won’t talk on the phone. I won’t open my eyes if I don’t have to. I dream terrible, upsetting dreams.

I want to kill myself. But I can’t. I can’t do it to other people, and I have work that must be done, novels that must be written. So I don’t kill myself. Besides, I don’t think it’s good to kill oneself. It’s a horrible idea. It has a horrible effect even on acquaintances.

I think a lot about people I loved who are dead. I think of how dead they are, year after year, ever more dead.

[vanillawurld]

༊*·˚Telepatía

✧.* Request- @cvmtitss

"Hey, my first time requesting you! I was wondering if you could do a joost w a fem reader where she's famous as well and she has a concert but doesn't think joost can make it due to him being busy or she thinks he has a tour and he comes back early without telling her. And so while she's performing the music, either suddenly changes or turns off and then she turns around and sees joost like proposing overall it js seems rlly cute and fluffy ❤️"

✧.* Pair - Joost Klein x Fem! Musician! Reader

✧.* Tags & Warnings - fluff

✧.* Summary - Joost proposes to the love of his life while she is performing on stage in front of thousands of fans.

✧.* Extra- The reader's performance will be inspired by Kali Uchis' stage performance at Lollapalooza in Brazil (2023) because i'm obsessed with that fucking performance LMAO but if you guys don't like it, ofc change it up for your own imagination. Also highlighted parts are dutch.

✧.* Word Count - 1,442

It was one of the last tours that (Y/N) was doing and she decided to add the cherry on top in Brazil. She had everything ready to go. Her crew, her outfits, the stage, but she was missing one important thing. Her man. Joost was always there to support (Y/N) at her concerts. Whether it was on stage performing with her or watching her with heart eyes behind the scenes. This time, he was on his own tour in Europe, which was what (Y/N) thought.

It was a couple hours before the show was about to start and (Y/N) was starting to get ready while being on the phone with Joost. l “I’m really sad you aren’t here with me, my love,” she expressed.

She heard Joost softly chuckle on the other line. “I know, honey. I wish I was there with you. I love watching you sing and dance, but this is your last show and I finish mine next week. We’ll see each other soon, very soon, gorgeous.”

(Y/N) was content to hear that. She couldn’t wait to see her lover. “I know, im so excited to see you again. Anyways, I got to go. My stylist just arrived,” She blew him a kiss and ended the call with ‘I love you’ one of the few phrases she knows in dutch.

Mine while, in a small town in Brazil, Joost made a plan to get to where (Y/N) was performing and get on his knee to pop that one particular question he’s been waiting to ask her. He landed there a couple days before (Y/N) was set to perform. He presented his plan to his crew and they immediately were on board to help him. His social media crew helped give the allusion to the media that Joost was still in Europe. He had it all planned out carefully and it was all going smoothly. The only thing getting in his way was time. He had to wait a good couple of hours to sneak into her set.

Joost managed to get (Y/N)’s manager’s number and immediately called him. A couple rings pass by until he heard the sound of the other line getting picked up. “Hello?” he heard the voice of (Y/N)’s manager say.

“Hey, what’s up man, it’s Joost. Can I facetime you real quick?” Joost asked.

“Yeah man,” the manager said. They quickly switched to facetime to talk “face to face” (virtually).

“You will never guess where I am at,” Joost said in a jokingly manner. He turned the camera to a small flag of Brazil and giggled.

“Are you serious? That’s awesome, dude, welcome. Does (Y/N) know you’re here?” the manager asked. Joost turned his camera back on his face and shook his head, saying no.

“No, and we need to keep it that way because…” Joost picked up a small black box and opened it. It revealed beautiful gold ring with the most alluring diamond on top to show the camera.

The manager let out a happy laugh, “That’s fucking awesome, man. Are you going to ask her after her show?”

“No, I’m going to ask her during her show, on stage. And that’s why I called to ask you if you can sneak me on set and not tell her. I want this to be special to her,” Joost replied.

“100% we’ll let you on stage and hide you. (Y/N) is going to love every second of whatever you plan to do. Uh, yeah, alright i’ll alert everyone about the plan and let you know when she arrives at the stadium” the manager said. Joost gave him a quick thank you and goodbye before hanging up the call. He did a small fist pump and smiled. Now the only thing to do was wait.

Seconds gradually turned to minutes, at least that’s what Joost felt. The more he had to wait, the more he was desperate. It felt like the universe was doing that on purpose to test him. It was killing him. He couldn’t wait to see his lover. His beauty. His woman. His everything.

When the time finally hit, Joost practically dashed out his hotel room and jogged towards the elevator. Him and his crew he took got taxis and they were finally on their way to the stadium. The drive was filled with laughter, smiles, and conversations. Joost knew how to light up a room, so him preparing to do one of the best things ever made everything 10 times better. Even the driver was joining in on the good time.

Joost finally made it to the stadium. His heart realized what was about to happen and started beating faster. There was a lot of fans and reporters there that he had to ignore. Joost always loved to talk to his fans but, at that very moment he couldn’t blow his cover. He needed this to be a surprise.

The backstage crew immediately went into action when Joost stepped foot in the stadium backstage. They did everything in their power to hide Joost and distract (Y/N). Joost would watch his girl from a far and fall in love even more. Her beauty always made him fall to his knees.

It was finally time for (Y/N) to perform. She went on stage with her backup dancers and got into position. They covered (Y/N)’s frame with giant white feathers, like if she was an elegant swan. She was able to hear her adoring fans and got butterflies in her stomach. She heard her fans already cheering even though they couldn’t see anything on stage due to it being pitch black. She loved every moment of it all. It was finally time to wrap this all up.

She heard the introduction music and narrator speak. She turned to her back up dancers and smiled, “You guys ready?” she asked. They all nodded and asked if she was ready, not knowing that question had a double meaning. She said yes with a big smile on her face.

“Ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure to present the one and only, the elegant, the heart stealer. Everyone here, please welcome, (Y/N)!”

The dancers pulled back the feathers, revealing (Y/N) and everyone cheered. She was finally performing. Meanwhile, Joost was backstage watching the beautiful performance. He got the little box ready and was preparing himself. He watched as (Y/N) sang, danced, performed with her life. He always loved that about her, she always knew how to put up a performance.

Joost saw the fans go wild and it was just the very first song. They all sang along like it was karaoke and dances to the beats. He watched his favorite girl with heart eyes and before he knew it, the song was about to come to an end. It was finally time to do what he always wanted to do. He told the crew to signal the DJ to prepare to lower the music.

As (Y/N) was about to finish her song, the music lowered and cut off all together. She thought it was a mistake so she improvised and continued singing the song. She didn’t want to disappoint her fans. That was until she heard her fans scream even louder. She got confused and was wondering why everyone was going crazy until she saw some fans in the crowd point behind her.

(Y/N) turned around and saw her man, on one knee with a box containing a beautiful gold ring with a gorgeous diamond showing. (Y/N) couldn’t believe her eyes. She covered her mouth in shock and started tearing up. It took her a couple of seconds before she said yes. She watched as Joost put the ring on her finger with a huge smile on his face. Joost got up and hug her tight.

In that moment, it’s like everything and everyone disappeared. All that mattered was Joost and his lover. “I can’t believe you did all of that, and for me?!” she said to him.

“Of course I did it all for you, my love. You’re the only woman I love and you are my everything,” he replied. Joost gave (Y/N) a kiss on her lips and pulled away to look at her, “I'm going to stay on stage with you and watch because you look like a goddess when you’re performing.”

Joost took the microphone from (Y/N) and turned to the audience, “Brasil! Prepare for this woman to have a new last name! (Y/N) Klein!” The audience erupted in massive roar-like cheers. The soon-to-be newlyweds gave each other one last kiss before a new song played, signaling (Y/N) to continue the show.

˖◛. *. ⋆ Vanilla Speaks

Hey peoples i hope you liked this im so in love with this man </3 i like writing to muscian readers cuz then I can add what artist I wanna be like (ariana grande, kali uchis, lana del rey, etc etc)

[alwaysobsessed777]

I WAS ENCHANTED TO MEET YOU - N.M. (my wattpad fic)

This is from my nika fic on wattpad....if yall want me to keep posting the chaps on here i can. just know its a long one....and i mean currently at 30 chaps and still not done.

ENJOY!!

 "Seriously, do I have to go?" I pout as Ava pulled me to the line of people.

    "Duh, like come on Tate. You've been here for 4 years and haven't gone to one of the women's basketball games," She acts like it's such a big deal, "Matter of fact, you don't go to any sort of games. You don't have any fun and I'm gonna change that."

     I laugh, "Really, I'm plenty of fun. It just consists of me in my comfy bed, covered up, watching TikTok all day."

    "My point exactly," She says matter-of-factly.

     I roll my eyes. Ever since I became roommates with Ava, she's made it her job to make me more social. I talk to people, just they happen to be out of state and I don't really talk to them, I text them. 

     "You remember that edit I showed you the other day?" As if I could remember, girl shows me like a hundred a day. 

     "You're gonna have to be more specific on that," She pulls out her phone.

     "The girl with the blonde hair, there's braids in the front, that help," She clicks on a video in her favorites on TikTok, "This one."

     "Oh, yeah. Why?" I'm genuinely confused on what this has to do with anything. 

     "Look at the jersey," I finally realize, and I'm guessing it showed it on my face because Ava says, "Exactly, that will give you a reason to watch."

    I laugh. After I came out to Ava, she's been nonstop showing me edits of women. Some of them I knew, others I didn't. But her showing me an edit of someone from our school, that's another level. 

   "How do people even make edits of a college basketball player?" We start moving closer to the door. 

   "Well, maybe because people are obsessed with her and find their ways. Also, she's like the best basketball player of all time," She puts emphasis on her points by using her hands, "Plus, they show games on where ever people watch sports."

    "Don't you follow the sport? Shouldn't you know where they watch it?" I ask her.

    "Correction, I follow the players who are hot and talented, not the sport," I shake my head.

    We finally make our way inside, sitting where our seats were. People crowding around us. I never realized how many fans our team had. I mean, I heard people talk about it but never pictured this. I watched as the teams warmed up, I saw the blonde that was in the edit Ava showed me, she was wearing the number 5. I saw a shorter girl wearing the number 2, and a tall girl with yellow and purple braids. Then I saw the prettiest girl I've ever seen. She wore the number 10 on her jersey, her hair up into a slicked back ponytail.

   "You might wanna pick your jaw off the floor and wipe the drool off your chin," Ava said pulling me from my thoughts. 

   "What," I snap my head to face her, "Oh, shut up."

    I slap her arm, causing her to groan and grab it, "Ow, I was trying to help you from making a fool of yourself."

   "Also," Ava started, "The blonde, Paige, you can't drool over her. She's currently talking to someone."

   She starts to point to herself, "Oh my god, seriously? Why didn't you tell me sooner? Is that why we're here?"

   She shook her head yes, "At first, I didn't want to tell you."

   I cut her off, "And what made you not wanna tell me?"

   "I just wanted it to be ... I guess ... real. Like I felt like it was going to go somewhere."

   "And you think it's going to go somewhere?"

   "I mean she did ask for me to come to the game, but I couldn't come alone," She grabbed my hand, " I had to bring you."

The smirk she had on her face told me she was up to something, "Ava, what am I doing here?"

"I mean, I might've told Paige she could set you up with one of the girls on the team."

"AVA! Why would you tell her that ," I felt my face turn blood red.

"Tate, you're literally 22 years old, never had a girlfriend, and has never had their first kiss. At least you have chance for it to be a hot basketball player."

I gave her the dirtiest look I could give her, "Okay, and?"

"I'm just trying to help you a bit. I can tell Paige you're not up for it."

"No, it's fine, I guess. I have to learn to give people a chance, Including you and Paige."

She smiles ear to ear, "I mean, Paige already has someone down to go out with you, but I don't wanna tell you who it is yet."

"What, no. You have to at least tell me who it is," I beg.

"Why don't you try and guess, " Why does she play too much.

"Okay, whatever."

                            *******************************************

As the game went on, I pay attention to each of the players, but one kept catching my eye. Number 10, which I found out was Nika Muhl after her name was called at the beginning of the game. 

 I had named off a couple of the players numbers, getting nothing from Ava. 

"44," She shook her head no.

"Ava," I start to pout, "Just tell me."

"I'm surprised you didn't say it first," she points to the players, "the one you've been drooling over the whole game. Number 10, Muhl."

I gasp, "No way, I can't do that."

"Why cause she's someone you're actually interested in?" I smack her arm. 

"No, she's just so pretty. I wouldn't even be able to talk to her. Like, I would be a stuttering mess. I ... I can't, nope. No way."

Ava starts to laugh, "Oh you'll be fine. After you talk to her for a minute, everything will go smoothly."

Paige makes a foul shot, Ava jumps up yelling and cheering for her. I swear she's the loudest person in this room. Paige must've heard her because she looks into the crowd, finding us. She winks and turns back to the ref with the ball.

"Oh god, now I'm going to have to talk to Nika. I can't, I'm gonna leave now," I go to stand up, but before I could stand all the way up, Ava pulls me back down.

"Oh hush, don't overthink it."

"Too late."

A couple of minutes later, our team called a timeout, causing the girls to huddle with their coach. But in the back of the huddle I see Paige and Nika talking. While their talking, Paige starts to point in Ava and I's direction. Nika's gaze follows, meeting me. She smiles and waves. I send a small one back. She laughs and looks back at Paige.

"Aww, you're blushing," Ava jokes.

"Shut up, Ava, " I put my head into my hands.

I looked at the time left, oh god, there's 56 seconds left in the game. I feel myself start to freak out.

"Hey Ta, it's alright," She patted my knee.

"I know A, but I don't know what to say to her," I fidget with my fingernails, "What if she ends up not liking me?"

"She'd be stupid not to like you," She pulls out her phone, "here let me show you this."

She pulled up an edit of Nika, "Dude why are you showing me this?"

"To show you how hot your future girlfriend is, " She laughed, I rolled my eyes.

"I haven't even talk to her yet," I heard the buzzer go off. 

"Well, you're getting ready to though, " She pulled me up with her to move through the crowd.

Everyone was cheering, UCONN just won 86 - 72. While everyone was celebrating, all I could think of was what I was going to say to Nika. This woman gives me butterflies and I haven't even talk to her yet.

[outsideratheart]

Us (Alexia Putellas x reader)

A/N: I have no idea where this came from but it has been stuck in my head for a few weeks. I hope you guys like it!

You had been in the most important meeting of your career when you received a message.  You never turned your phone off in case there was an emergency but you did put it on do not disturb. The small vibration in your pocket told you 1 of 2 people were trying to get in touch with you. Your manager was in the meeting with you so it only left one person.

I need you, please can you come over.

As far as Alexia was aware you were in England. Your mind went to the worse case scenario because it had to be something bad if she was asking you to get on a plane and fly to Barcelona with no explanation. 

In the politest way possible you excuse yourself from the meeting and leave your future in the safe hands of your manager, who upon seeing your face backs your decision to leave without asking any questions.

A quick text is sent to your girlfriend saying that you are on your way but there’s no response. You try calling only there is no answer. By the time you get to her apartment building you are filled with worry and you waste no time in running up the stairs having no patience to wait for the elevator.

When you knock on the door you are not met by your girlfriend. 

“You’re the lion?” The resemblance was even more striking up close. You had met Alba once or you had at least been in the same room as her.

“Technically I’m a lioness” 

It makes a little more sense now. No one was aware of your relationship and in order to keep the questions at bay you didn’t save each others phone number under a name, instead it was an emoji. Yours was a lion due your national team’s nickname and your on pitch persona. Hers was a crown because she was your queen and known by the fans as La Reina.

“Alba let her in” another woman, Alexia’s mother, guides you through the apartment even though you have been here enough times to know your way around.

“You’re the girl my daughter has been seeing”  

“I am and I will happily introduce myself and answer any questions you may have after I have seen her”

“She’s in the living room. When we came she was crying and she won’t talk to any of us” one of Alexia’s best friends says.

It didn’t look good. Her mother, sister and best friend all at your girlfriends apartment yet she is refusing to talk to any of them

The three woman give you some space as you enter the living room. All of them hoped that you would have more luck at finding out what was wrong.

“Hello you” you crouch down so that you are at her level and without saying a word Alexia wraps her arms around you tightly. The speed of it almost sends you both to the ground but you steady yourself just in time.

Once on the sofa Alexia buries her face in the crook of your neck.

“How are you here?”

“That doesn’t matter. Alexia, what is wrong?”

“They won’t leave me alone. It’s like they are obsessed with my personal life. I’m happy, why isn’t that enough for them? Why do they need to get involved and keep bringing up the past?”

You were at a loss. Yes you were aware of the spotlight that was constantly on Alexia, one was on you as well but you had been dating for almost 2 years now and nobody was the wiser. 

“Who cariño?” Eli asks from the other side of the room. 

“The girls. They think that because Jenni signed for Atleti that we are going to get back together. We finally got back to a good place during the World Cup and no one seems to understand that we are just friends. We are Y/N, I promise nothing is going on” Alexia turns to look at you.

During the World Cup you saw the rumours and they spread quickly given that everyone assumes Alexia is single. At first it bothered you but the two of you talked about it and you realised that you were jealous for no reason. Alexia was your girl and only yours.

“I know” deep down you hated that she was still getting linked to another woman but it wasn’t a threat to your relationship so you let it go.

“They are going to ruin everything. They don’t even know and they are ruining—“

“Alexia, nobody is ruining anything. Let your friends talk. At the end of the day it is me and you”

The three other women in the room watched and listened as you talked Alexia through her panic. You were able to calm her and bring her peace in a moment that was very overwhelming for her.

“But Jenni is—“

“Jenni is your past and that cannot be changed. What have I told you?” You ask your girlfriend.

The woman who is still cuddled into your side mumbles something incoherent and you know she is mumbling because she doesn’t want the other women to know the words you told her during the summer.

“She’s your first love Alexia, I intend to be your last” you kiss the corner of her mouth. 

The sound of awes burst the little bubble that you had formed around you and Alexia. Clearly embarrassed, Alexia once again hides herself. 

Knowing that the two of you can’t ignore the introduction that the women are waiting for, Alexia officially introduces you to Eli, Alba and Miri as her girlfriend. 

“What happens now?” Alexia asks you “Do we tell people? I don’t want our bubble to break, everything is normal with you. We are Y/N and Alexia but when people find out we will be captains, players and rivals”

“Hey, calm down. They will change but we won’t. Do you want to be us normal or what everyone else expects us to be?”

“Us normal”

“Well then I am going to drive you back to your training facility, open the door for you like I always do, I’ll kiss you goodbye and then you’re going to go to work”

Your confidence was reassuring to all in the room.

Alexia tells you that she is going to freshen up in the bathroom which leaves you alone with three of the most important people in her life. Your media training comes in very handy as you are able to answer all of Alba’s and Miri’s questions without hesitation or breaking a sweat. However, Eli’s question catches you off guard.

“You’re the reason why Alexia didn’t come back to the room after the awards show in Dubai aren’t you?”

“Guilty but nothing happened” technically it was the truth, nothing did happen that night “We spent the night in the hotel bar talking then went to the beach to watch the sunrise”

“Can I ask you a question?” Alba says “If you were in England when you received the text would have come?”

“I would have been on the first flight out, yes”

It seemed to enough to please the younger Putellas because she simply nodded her head.

Once Alexia was ready you did as you said. The two of you drove to Joan Camper, Alexia quizzed you the entire car journey because you still hadn’t told her why you were in Barcelona. You open the door for her as expected but what Alexia didn’t expect was you to walk with her into the facility.

“I love that you care but you don’t have to do this for me, I can handle it” 

“Who says I’m doing it for you”

The two of you stop in front of the canteen. It was surrounded by glass windows and you can see the majority of the team eating their lunch.

“Us normal?” You ask Alexia and she nods her head. As you normally would whenever you visited her or she visited you, you kissed her once on the lips and then once on her hairline as she hugged you goodbye.

“Wait! Where are you going?” Alexia asks as you don’t go in the direction of the exit. 

“You asked how I’m here. Well, I have a job interview with your boss” 

[bitchimasnake-sss]

unwinding after a long day ft. luffy!

in which, after a long day, he comes right back to you <3

ft. luffy x fem!reader

set-up: its been a tiring day for him, good thing you're right here to offer your services (wink wink)

warnings: both sfw/nsfw headcanons for this dumbass; nsfw stuff includes penetration, cockwarming, raw!fucking (kids use protection pls 👍)

luffy:

sfw!!

- after a long, long day of eating, running around the deck with ussop, defeating like five sea kings, enduring 53628 kicks and punches from the crew (how is this man a captain is beyond me sometimes), luffy is bound to be tired - you're laying on your bed post-dinner, absent-mindedly chipping away the nail polish - you feel the mattress next to you dip lowly as he jumps next to you, face-first - "ynn-" he's whining, wrapping his hands around you and intertwining his legs between yours, "ynnnnnn" "hmm?" you hum, still busy picking apart the colour on your nails "i'm so, so soooo tired" a laugh escapes you, "really? is it due to all the running?" and now he's pouting, "are you saying it's my own fault?" - you peck his cheek, then flash him a grin, "how can i ever say that?" - most of the nights, you silence him by giving him a massage - you don't even think you're good at it but holy shit this boy is obsessed with getting a quick massage from you. - and this has led to quite the number of misunderstandings. "yn," he had asked you when the crew were eating dinner together, "can we do that thing at night? i really need it." "WHAT THE FUCK-" nami is punching luffy in his guts, his food is being thrown out of his mouth and onto zoro, "WE ARE EATING." - he meant massage. - you knew it, he knew it. the rest of the crew? they assumed you were fucking (they aren't wrong, per se. they just didn't want to believe that all the sounds of bed creaking wasn't from you both jumping around, rip them) - yeah ussop threw up and sanji fell to his knees and cried for like 57 mins because how did luffy manage to bag you??? - zoro hasn't spoken in two days from the shock of it (and the traumatic experience of having food spit on him) and nami has retired to her room for a whole business week, she is now only conversing by using chopper as her message carrier - chopper is confused (poor bby 😭😭, he assumed it was massage or something and he is the only one who's correct) - anyways, other than getting massages, sometimes he starts rambling on about something or the other till he falls asleep mid-conversation - rest assured because he will continue whenever he wakes up "where was i?" he's shaking you awake "luffy" you groan, "it's like two am, go to sleep" "oh right, so ussop told chopper than reindeers are called reigndeers because they used to be actual kings back in the ancient times and so rein means reign and not rain like most people as-" he falls asleep again mid conversation - tf are you supposed to do with this man?? - peak, sheer dumbassery even when he's tired

nsfw!!

- this man refuses to entertain one-sided favours - your soft hands were kneading away the tension on his biceps a few minutes ago, so obviously he should return the favour back by massaging your back - you refuse many times because as much as you love luffy, this man does not understand his own strength - so you have a very valid fear that he would break your spine as he gives you a massage - "this isn't fair, let me do it too ughh" "how about no" "okay then let me fuck you, you'd like that right?" - didn't even blink twice plz 😭😭 - this dude is dead serious. - he gotta make up to you for being such a sweetheart to him one way or the other - that explains how he was pulling your top off, sucking sweetly on your tits, fingers gently rubbing over your clothed pussy - that also explained how he pulled you onto his lap, slipping in his dick inside you, stretching you out with a loud moan "you always take it so well, don'tcha?" he grins at you, tipping your head upwards and kissing you - refuses to move tho. - basically baited you into cockwarming him - what a royal asshole. - "what is it?" he coos when he feels your walls clamp down on him, your fingers desperately toying with your clit to get some sort of relief "pl- pleasefuckme-" there's tears clinging onto your lashline, your lips are red from how long you've been biting and chewing on them "hm?" he grins at your state, "what was that you said?" "please-" your breath hitches as he thrusts into you suddenly "fuck you?" "go- god. fuck, yes" his thrusts are merciless, pounding into you at a speed that has your overstimulated cunt spasming in seconds - doesn't let you go till he feels like he's paid you back enough "that was fun" he nuzzles into your neck, breathing slowly "mhm" you feel yourself dozing off he lays you down before snuggling into you and falling asleep - will end up giving you a massage in the morning anyways - although he can be just a little bit of a dick sometimes, there's no one you would rather unwind with

bonus!!

- ussop (while crying) had to relocate from his cabin to sanji's because the walls are really not that thick and he was next door - "i can hear them-" ussop sniffled, standing at sanji's doorstep, "omg i can hear luffy-" "ussop, you have to learn to face the horrors of the world." sanji spoke firmly, although his expression betrayed the confidence in his voice - actually they both just cried and ate the secret stash of ice-cream sanji had saved up - you and luffy need to pay for their therapy now im afraid 😃

zoro's part <3 sanji's part <3

[neverfindmegone]

Hi people, so I'm not a writer and I never wrote anything but my darling @pinkthrone445 is always writing the most amazing things, so I wanted to write this in her honor. Sorry if it's extremely silly and not well written but is my first try 🖤

What I can see

You and Melissa had been friends for a couple of months now. You met the red head during your first day in Abbot. You were nervous as hell to work as a teacher's aid, but you have always loved children and working with them was a dream.

At first, Melissa wasn't very friendly, she was extremely sarcastic, making fun of you every chance she got.

You still remember your first meeting, Ava had come to introduce you to the red head and you couldn't form one proper sentence, being stunned by her beauty.

- What's the matter Hon, did the cat get your tongue?

After that you started to spend more and more time with the older woman, and the intimidation you felt started to turn into a deep admiration. Being her helper was such an interesting job, the learning range was big, from teaching kids with special needs to having the number of a guy who could help you with racoon problems.

Yes. Melissa was an interesting woman and you started to fall for her more and more each day.

At first you believed to be a innocent crush, but the more you had one on one conversations, you saw that you couldn't stop thinking about what hurricane of a woman she was. Her presence, her personality, her looks, you were completely obsessed. What resulted in you finding every excuse possible to be around her all the time. You would bring her coffee, invite for lunches, drinks, movies almost every week after work.

Melissa seemed to appreciate the extra attention you gave her, sometimes you could swear you caught her staring when she thought you weren't looking.

Her bright green eyes shined when you overshared and her hands always found away to touch you, shoulders, hands, thighs.

That's how you found yourself in the current situation. Ava was giving one of her Ava speeches, and you had Melissa sitting right next to you, her arm touching yours. You were caught giving her looks from the corner of your eye, every time your skins would brush.

- Does she sound drunk to you? She whispered in your ear.

The hairs on the back of your back stood up immediately and you were frozen for a second. Her breath ghosting your skin made you feel dizzy whenever she was this close to you. Damn this woman had put you wonder a spell or something. When did you start to be so easily affected?

Melissa noticing your lack of response, shoved your arm slowly. - You okay?

- Yes, I mean no, not drunk, maybe hung over? I saw on her Insta last night, she was at the club until late.

- Club on a Wednesday? That's brave even for her. She eye rolled, looking back at the stage.

- Come on Schemmenti. You looked at her. - Can't you handle going out on a school night?

Her head snapped immediately, green eyes finding yours, nostrils inflating. You liked teasing her, it was a part of the flirting banter you had going on.

You raised both of your eyebrows challenging her. - Too old?

- Are you kidding me kid? You, me, club tonight. She said snapping, challenging you back.

- Deal, I'll pick you up at 7.

---

Later that night, you knocked on Melissa's door at 7:15. A bit late, but nothing that would bother the older lady. When the door was opened, your jaw dropped. She was wearing a tight red dress, her creamy cleavage completely in display.

You couldn't stop staring at her breasts, your breathing getting elaborated. This was definitely the rack from God.

Melissa's voice broke up you from your paralysis. - What's the matter hon? Am I over dressed?

You frowned, seeing her insecurity.

- Are you kidding me? Mel, you look... You paused, your eyes raking over her body up and down slowly. - Exquisite.

- Really? I'm not sure about this. She said entering the house, with you following. - I had other options. She gestured for you to follow her into the bedroom.

- Maybe these black jeans? She pointed to the bed, where a bunch of clothes were scattered. - I haven't been to a club in a while, I don't know what I was thinking.

You looked around seeing the mess in the room, realizing that she was probably over thinking this. You wanted nothing more than reassure her, this woman was divine, how couldn't she know that?

- No, you look perfect, I promise.

Melissa made a face, showing that she didn't believe you, she walked to the large mirror in the corner of her room, before standing there, observing herself. Her hands moved over her dress, tiding it up. - Am I too old for this?

- Melissa, please. You giggled, how did this goddess believe she was too old for anything. That's when you remember your teasing earlier, you started to feel guilty. She wouldn't have been upset over that, would she?

- Is this about earlier? You asked approaching her. - Let me show you something. You continued, moving yourself behind her in the mirror slowly, afraid to scare her away. Your desire was to prove to the woman how gorgeous she really was.

- What do you really think? She said looking at you, finding your eyes in the mirror.

You moved your hands to her hips gently, holding her in place, while making eye contact with her.

- I think you will be the hottest woman there. You squeezed her hips gently, before giving them a tap. - Come on.

Melissa huffs, before looking at you with vulnerable eyes. - Oh please.

You move closer, keeping your eyes on hers, before resting your chin on her shoulder. - I don't think you are aware of the effect you have on people. Your arms hugged her from behind while you spoke.

The older woman eyerolled. - Huf, you have to say that, you're my friend.

- Melissa stop. You moved your hands to hers, before squeezing them. - Please see what everyone can see... What I can see.

She blushed deeply. - Listen kid, I...

You moved closer in a fast manner, making her stop talking. You pressed your front against her back completely, before starting - First, look at these arms. You moved your hands up and down her shoulders gently. - They are muscular and strong.

You felt her tense up, looking at you with uncertainty. You gave her a wide smile before you felt her relaxing again, she gave you a small nod, letting you know it was okay to continue.

You shifted your hands to her stomach, stroking it with your fingertips. - Look at this waste, so gorgeous and just the right shape. Her eyes shifted to your hands movements, and her breath started to increase it's path, as she felt you caressing her skin.

- And these hips? Your hand moved down her curves, touching her more intimately now, increasing the pressure of your hands.

- They are so attractive, when you walk, people at school can't stop staring at them. You know when I first met you I couldn't stop thinking about your hips and thighs.

She shaked her head no. - It's true. You breathed in her ear. - You carry such power and swag when you walk, it's impossible not to look.

Her eyes starting to shine, lips quivering as she felt your hands moving to her behind. - I don't think I need to tell you about this mouth watering ass of yours, do I?

Your eyes found hers, completely black now, your hand moving up and down her butt cheeks. Your touch was maddening, Melissa was starting to tremble and you heard a small whimper scape when your nails traced her shape, teasingly.

Your face moved closer to hers, your nose brushing against her cheek, your eyes never leaving hers. - But do you wanna know my favorite? You said slowly, letting the tip of your tongue brush against her earlobe.

She nodded, not trusting herself to speak.

Your hands roamed up her front and the red head felt like her skin was on fire, it was as if hot oil was being poured in every spot your fingers touched. Your hand stopped on her chest and you stretched your fingers to her neck, squeezing it gently.

- Y/N. She whimpered, her voice full of emotion.

Your fingers grasped her chin before turning her face to yours. - It's your face Melissa, I'm obsessed with your face. Your eyes kept drinking in hers while you spoke - Your eyes they are so green and deep. - Your smile lights up the whole room, it's contagious.

You leaned closer, letting your fingertips touch the tip of her nose - Your nose is sharp and perfect. You traced a path to her lips, observing her face deeply, like you were a painter and she was your master piece. Your fingers moved to her lips softly, the pressure light but steady.

- And your mouth, God your mouth.

Melissa held her breath, her eyes started to close, she was hypnotized by your caresses. Her eyes snapped open when she felt you pulling away. But before she could protest in disappointment you moved your hands to her breasts squeezing them roughly. You couldn't keep yourself away from them for one more second. - And these are the star of the show. You felt her nipples get hard while you played with them.

Her head fell to your shoulder before she groaned. - Fucking chirst Y/N.

You lost any self control you had left and turned her around, pressing her back against the mirror, trapping her with your hands beside her head . - Do you see it now? You asked, your eyes full of lust.

Her lack of response gave you the impression that she was uncomfortable, so you started to move away shyly. - Fuck, sorry Mel, I know we work together. Before you could finish your sentence Melissa grabbed your face and crashed her lips against yours. She was furious and putting all of her desire and longing into that kiss.

You had no idea how long she had craved this, how long she had craved you. And having your hands and whispers seducing her like that was enough to take the red head to a breaking point.

All she could see was black, her hands moved over your body frantically, squeezing every piece of flesh she could find.

You moaned feeling how dominant she had became, letting her take charge of the kiss. Your hands moved to her shoulders, clutching with force, returning all the fire the woman was giving you. You opened your mouth, accepting her tongue in. Your mind was dizzy with desire, and you couldn't stop yourself from moaning again.

- Holy fuck. You panted. You kissed for minutes, or what seemed to be hours. You couldn't get enough of her taste and she seemed to be obsessed with yours. Every time you would stop to breathe the other would pull in again with force, continuing the intense kiss. Your hands tangled in her gorgeous hair and hers groping you forcefully.

When you felt yourself close to fainting from the lack of air, you moved away from her, catching your breath so you could take a sight of what had just happened.

You moved your hand over your chest, trying to recover.

- Wow Schemmenti, I always assumed you were a good kisser but this, this is something else.

When you caught her eyes, she was still silent, chest and face red, she looked dangerous, almost a predator looking at her pray. - Mel?

She moved closer to you before shoving you in the bed savagely. You fell on your elbows harshly. - Ouch! Melissa! You said looking her with surprise.

- You had your fun seducing and playing me like pudding in your hands. Now it's my turn. She said while moving on top of you.

Her hands moved to your neck before squeezing it. - And you know something Y/N? She said while leaning in, letting her mouth hover over yours. - I don't think I want to go to the club anymore.

[chocolatetheoristcloud]

can you do a scenario in which sasuke is completely obsessed with the reader, sends her lewd pics of heeself, scares her to the point that she avoids him but also everyone around her cuz he wont let her make friends, also him finally locking her in the class with him (some noncon if u can)

The Gingerbread Woman

Inspirded by the song the gingerbread man

Warnings: Yandere themes,nudes,hints of NON-CON,dark content,possiveness, cursing,modern AU, real dulu yelling out my woman, yes he's a little dulu.

Paring: Yandere Sasuke x reader

I am ETREMELY sorry for how long this took.

You couldn't believe what you got yourself in it.

How the fuck did this happen ?

Well that's something you didn't really know to be honest.

I mean you stayed away from him and you didn't talk to him, expect that one time you helped him with the missing notes he missed but that was it.

You didn't know he liked you,well he sent nudes to you of himself once but you didn't think he would go this far.

Locking you into an empty classroom with him, You had to stay behind in school to finish some work and then you had to clean up and put away but you had thought all the students left besides the one who had club activities,as far as you know Sasuke wasn't in a club and normally stuck to himself so why was he here then?

This made you uncomfortable as you looked at Sasuke as you two stayed deeply into eachother's eyes,like a staring contest.

His eyes were dark and black as a shadow with a hints of sinister-ness and something else you couldn't put your finger on at.

Whilst you looked into his, you're eyes were e/c looked into his with hints of uncomfortableness and confusion.

You had your back turned to the door as you cleaning when you heard the door open, you turned your head thinking it was a teacher but it was Sasuke......it was like if he knew you were here and didn't leave school...............how strange.

Oh good afternoon Sasuke,......is something wrong did one of the teachers sent you here?......I was just about the leave I was just packing my bag and cleaning up.

You avoided Sasuke after you saw the nudes he sent you and blocked his number and deleted it, even tho you didn't tell anyone you still felt very uncomfortable with being with him right now it felt uneasy. As the air hang thick feeling claustrophobic and heavy,as you awaited his answer.

He only nodded.....slowly, and looked around and watched as he opened the door again and looked outside.

Which was a red flag from the beginning but you didn't think about it since he was probably felt awark after he sent you his nudes and you blocked him, you nodded as you turned around to finish packing your bag when

*lock*

Whipping you're head around as fast as lighting to see just what the hell happened.

You saw Sasuke now inside the room with you,the door now locked and closed as he looked at you before slowly walking up to you.

Um.....What are you...doing?

You quoted, backing away from him as your eyes went wide trying to process what to do.

He said nothing only walking towards you, before finally opening his mouth.

......Y'know your such a strange girl....you know that I'm in love with you....but instead....of rejecting me... you completely just ignore my feelings right in front of me.... with no problem....at all...

He said his voice deep and raspy and low as if he was struggling to find the words to speak,as if.....he couldn't breathe like was gasping for air but he couldn't get it.....no matter how hard he tried.

When sent you pictures of me you didn't even text back you just blocked me....I thought you would have told someone but you didn't...not a soul...as If,it was a normal thing like it didn't happen.

And y'know what really get's me? hmm?... you passed me everyday in school like it was nothing... like you just didn't care!, yeah you avoided me....but you didn't even say a word about it to anyone! not even a peep.

Like this didn't matter....I didn't matter!....to you....my feelings and emotions don't matter to you... everything I've done to get your attention doesn't matter-

He paused quite literally in his tracks as he looked down before placing his hand on his eyes rubbing nose bridge before chucking to himself.

And y'know it's really laughable hahaha I've tried almost everything! to get you to acknowledge my feelings for you,my love for you! but still no matter what I seem to do you never acknowledge them hahahah!

And no matter how try and try you will never take the time and today to acknowledge them, just look at you you're not even denying it are ?

It was true and you both knew it, you knew he loved you and instead of saying anything at all you choose to ignore them... ignore him.... even before he sent you the nudes of himself.... you just didn't acknowledge but more like refused to acknowledge them really and truly if you're being honest but you didn't think he would go this far.

He looked at you not all that surprised, but not all that surprised after all that's why he had interested in you in the first place, you were so strange to him so uninterested.

But as I said that's why he likes you so much is because of that you knew you were could be hurting his feelings but you didn't care and instead of just telling him to stop and reject him you remain silent.

He looked back up at you his piecing dark onyx eyes staring at you as they looked souless like a black empty void that was filled with nothing good.

But now.....all that is going to change..... you're going to acknowledge my feelings for you one way or another.....

He picked up his pace,as feet making nosies as it touches the wooden floor boards as he back's you into a corner,as you looked at him.

Sasuke....?

Don't Sasuke me now y/n.... it's too late for that you're going to acknowledge my love for you, and when I'm done you it will be a piceing memory marked into your skin.... something of my love...... something even if you still refuse to acknowledge it you're always....always have a memory

[serxinns]

Yandere class 1A with a reader who has helped pros from another country but has never gotten her permit. So she goes to school and ends up with new classmates who are obsessed with her?

• Your Big Sister is one of the most popular pro heroes in America ranking number 6 you always looked up to her and wanted to be like her one day, On your 14th birthday she gifted you your own hero outfit saying that you'll be her sidekick during your time you also became popular alongside your sister defeating villains helping citizens and praising your teamwork, usage of your quirk, a pot the pros and the employees of your sister agency adores you every time you walk by there's always a either a wave, a hey, or a small gift for your hard work life was great

• Until you receive a letter from the Special School called Ua saying that they require you to attend there since you never got a permit which made you feel sad that you were gonna leave your sister But she promised she'll visit and she made sure one if the pro heroes you worked with will be your new guardian

• When you 1st walked in your class most students were shocked they knew that they were be getting a new student but they didn't know it was you?!

•"introduce yourself and make it quick" Aizawa said with a tried expression "My name is y/n l/n I am the younger sibling of (sister's hero name) I hope we can all get along! Any questions a bunch of hands went up eagerly waiting

•" What's your quirk?" "are you actually the sister of h/n?" "what's working with a bunch of pro heroes like?" "Is your sister single" you answered them one by one (expect for the single part) and the class was amused you went to take a seat feeling some a bunch of eyes were on you

•After class a brunette girl, came up to you a warm smile on her face "Hi you must be y/n im Ochako Uraraka" You smiled at the girl while shaking your hands "Nice to meet you ochako you look so adorable!"

•Ochako face began to flushed with your comment her mind was all over the place "she called me cute!" her heart was racing "T-Thank you! I was gonna ask if you could sit with me and some friends they r-really wanna meet you" ochako manage to say still flushed she rushed away still thinking about you

•at lunch you managed to make friends with the glasses kid named iida a green hair boy named Izuku midoriya, and red and white hair boy named Shoto

• Ochako and 5 other girls came up to you while you were minding your business "y/n I was wondering if you would like to hang out with us! It's just a little cafe da- I mean hang out!" a girl with pink hair and yellow eyes said "Of course! That sounds fun!"the girls all starting blushing at your cute smile and adorable smile adoring it like it's the most precious thing in the world

•You soon was introduce to a hot head named katuski bakugo, a red hair boy named kirishima, a Blonde hair with a black lighting in his hair named denki and a black hair boy named sero along side with the other classmates like sato, Koji, tokoyami, ojiro and aoyama you and you're classmates all got along with each other but sometimes u question their behavior but u brushed it off

•whenever training come around ur classmates would bicker at each other about who gets to train with you and if one of them win they would glare at them behind your back when your your classmates would stare in wonder and memorize your fighting skills some even cheering for you

•They would always drag you wanting to spend time with you every chance they can get "Back off extras y/n and I are supposed to spare with each other! With shitty hair!" "Y/n promised that we are gonna have baking lessons later" " actually me and y/n were supposed to be jamming with each other" "*Kero* actually we were gonna go swimming alone" "oh please you people are crazy me and y/n are gonna go shopping together!"

•the more you spend time with them the more obsessed and delusional they get whenever you talk to other classmates who are not in their class they glare at you and try to make excuses for you to pay attention to them they even daydream you and them dating

• They are so desperate for your attention and praise that they'll always bicker about who got the most attention

•one time mineta tries to flirt and try talking dirty about u you let's just say 19 classmates are coming for his ass

•Izuku would have a secret notebook about you with everything about you even with stuff you didn't know he would talk to you like he's a shy boy but whenever you're talking with someone he's would glare at him and would gently tug your sleeve a bit trying to pull you away with a excuse of "cmon y/n we need to study" or "sorry we need to get to class now"

•Shoto and Momo would leave u expensive gifts and spoil the heck out of you momo would hug you and try to cuddle you whenever you're sitting down and if your not much of a cuddler then that's fine too hand holding is also a option

•Bakugo and Kirishima would spar with you and sometimes show off to see who's more manly

•Denki or sero would invite you to play videos games and even if your bad at the games they'll loose on purpose just to see your eyes sparkle tries to throw some flirting here and there

•iida and you would fangirl/fanboy about how cool your big siblings are and Iida would make sure you're safe at all costs being your study partner and teaching you Japanese

•Ochako and you would either make you hang out at the park with her or go to a nice hill to look at the sunset while you both race down the hill (the 2 of you got scolded by iida for staining your clothes)

•Aoyama would have a mini fashion show with Bakugo picking out the outfits for you and Momo getting all the pretty outfits making sure you're comfortable and safe revealing or not both Aoyama and momo would be squealing while bakugo pretends not wanting to be here

•Sato would bribe you with sweets to make him hang out more he'll find out by asking Izuku what your favorite dessert or treat is whenever you taste his treat he always wanted to know what you think and if you say it's delicious the dude would make more for you

•Koda would teach you what animals you wanna know if you wanna know what animal lives in Japan he talk all about that heck! He'll even bring you face to face (unless the animal it's dangerous) of not then he'll let you pet it but if you're scared if gently reassure you that the animal won't hurt you

• Tokoyami loves to hang out with you in quiet places like coffee cafes or a library trip when dark shadow tries to sneak in his real feeling for you he'll shine a flashlight at him making him hiss

•Shoji like Iida would make sure you're safe especially when you're around him shoji would tell you about how dangerous the country Japan is wanting you to be closer to him to the point where his hands are around your waist or being carried burial style

•Hakagure and Mina will always be your number one hyped girls always pitching your cheek and hugging you and if you're not a hugger that's ok! A head will do that when alone they would always gossip about how hot you are and how adorable you are they even made a secret shrine of you

•Tsuyu is a cool girl who would always take you swimming if you don't know how to swim she'll hold on to you very Tight making sure you don't drown or get those floaties to help you

•Jirou and you would have a jamming section whenever an instrument you play she'll play along with you the both of you would share your favorite playlist songs and why is most of hers love songs. Anyways she gifted you a matching t shirts of your favorite band now whenever it's the weekend yall would jam out in cute matching clothes

Ojiro would occasionally spend with you as well while making sure he doesn't hurt you loves it when you touch his tail it makes his heart race and tail wag Ojiro also loves to hang out at the ice parlor with you while talking about hero stuff and karate

They all love you and will cherish you as much as they can even convince you to join their hero agencies when they grow up they're obsession gets worse as the day goes on with how their glares will linger if they see you talking with another person and will argue at each other of who gets to spend with who

[dragonbarbie]

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐏 𝐏𝐎𝐊𝐄𝐑 𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒 - modern!aemond targaryn x reader

rating: 18+, minors dni

summary: academic rivals, where revision has the same rules as strip poker

word count: 3.8k

tags: mature content, smut, modern!au, reader being petty and competitive, aemond also being petty and competitive, guest appearance by aegon

note: this is like… my first attempt at writing smut so ….*clown emoji* anyway hope you like it

y/n was used to being number 1. all throughout high school, be it history or physics – she had the highest grade in every class and was managing to do so without much effort, really. she hadn’t expected that to change when she landed her dream university, dragonstone. but when she arrived she had the rude shock of getting acquainted with aemond targaryen. first day of their valyrian history class, she had expected to impress her professor with the extensive knowledge on the subject that had been one of her favourites in high school, but when she found herself being beaten to the punch by the blonde bastard, she took an instant dislike to him.

pettily enough, as everyone was leaving the class, she made a show of saying “suck-up” in a not so quiet whisper as she passed him by. “excuse me?” his condescending, posh tone made her eyes roll. “all i did was answer his questions. i wasn’t the one gushing about the books he had written.” he sharply pointed out. “whatever.” she tried to brush off the retort. “if you’re so jealous, maybe actually read before class next time, instead of whining.” he coolly stated as he stalked off, leaving her behind as she gritted her teeth and glared at his striding figure.

from that point onwards, every class that she shared with him, she made a deliberate effort to work extra hard for. she went beyond just the recommended readings, she would write extra few hundred words for every essay, and for every test she would spend hours in preparation. still, frustratingly, all of this effort only made her good competition for him and not the outright winner. it seemed that aemond targaryen was in fact used to going beyond just the bare minimum, she didn’t ever see him take a break. if he wasn’t at the library, she found him sweating it out on the track field. his perfection was downright annoying.

what her friend baela found annoying, was the detail with which y/n would observe (obsess over) his daily behaviour and then rant about it to her. by the time finals week was on the horizon, she was just about done with y/n’s obsession.

y/n had been in the middle of ranting about how she had caught aemond revising for finals on the treadmill, when baela slammed the book that was open in front of her with frustration. “why don’t you just join him then?” she sarcastically asked, earning a “yeah right” from y/n who returned back to her notes as she realised that all this talk of her rival had clearly seemed to drive her friend to the point of irritation. “actually… why not?” though she had asked the question rhetorically, baela soon realised that perhaps that wasn’t such a crazy idea after all. y/n, did not share that understanding. she blinked back at her “i’m sorry am i supposed to say something or just wait in silence while you regain your senses. what are you talking about?”

“you said it yourself, you study better with a partner. and i don’t have any of the same classes as you.” the thought of baela having fun studying marine biology while y/n had to suffer aemond targaryen’s presence all alone at the history department was a point that brought her great sadness each day. “he does. and you have to admit it, he’s pretty good.”

as soon as y/n opened her mouth with a retort right on her tongue, baela silenced her with one pointed sentence “i have one reply to all your objections — keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.”

oh, y/n thought, she’d never thought of it that way. “besides,” baela reopened the book she had shut, “this way you can keep an even closer eye on his schedule.” she teased.

☆…━━━━━·:*☆…━━━━━·:*☆…━━━━━·:*☆

aemond somehow didn’t need to lift his eye to know who it was that had approached the corner library desk that had become his unofficial residence for finals weeks. “can i help you, l/n?” he asked, as she stopped before him. “no, but i can certainly help you, targaryen.” she announced, pulling out the chair across from him and putting her laptop bag down on the desk. he wordlessly raised his brow as she made herself comfortable. “look—” she knew that selling the idea to him was going to be just as hard as it was for it to be sold to her, but she was as stubborn as she was competitive, “—if we work together, our work will be halved. i can beat your ass at history of tyrosh and the origins of dorne any day of the week, and you are marginally better than me at valyrian history and aegon’s conquest. i am proposing that we sit and quiz each other on the exam portions and that way we’re both covered for our weaker subjects.”

she did not like the smug smirk that overcame his face at the suggestion. “so, you’ve come here to grovel for my help?” she could punch his perfect white teeth in. “look you little shit, while everyone on campus will be sweating and crying and chugging copious amounts of energy drinks to survive this week – we could be sailing through it, if we do this. our rivalry’s entertaining and all, but the stress of finals week will make even your fabulous hair fall out.”

“hmm.” he considered her words for a second. she rolled her eyes as he seemed to revel in making her wait for his response, “c’mon, targaryen, do it for the hair.” she was sure she saw his lips twitch upwards at her teasing.

“fine.” he finally gave in, causing y/n to sigh in relief, “but if you can’t keep up, i’m dropping you.” “likewise.” y/n promised.

she had to admit, studying with aemond was actually not that bad. their reading speed was similar, he kept her on her toes with his constant quizzing, and initially he had seemed to be singularly focused on the task at hand. as the days went on though, y/n found that they had actually started to talk of things beyond dead king and queens. “so, you’re like, related to the conqueror?” she asked as a manner of taking a break from their revision of her least favourite class, the conquest of westeros. “yeah, directly. he’s a great-great, times ten, grandfather.” he answered, turning the signet ring on his hand subconsciously. “that’s cheating, then. i’d be great at that class too if daddy had told me tales of grandpa aegon every night before bed.” she shrugged as she reached to grab the pot of black coffee, to refill her cup.

“well, ‘daddy’ didn’t even bother saying goodnight most nights, so let’s not attribute any of my success to him.” she looked up at him suddenly at the off-handed admission about his home life, but before she could really react, he added. “you just want there to be more to why i’m better than you, rather than accepting – i just am.” there was that smug smirk again, the one that she used to loath. but nowadays, that same smile was more playful than hostile, she had noted. “or, i’m trying to figure out if being an asshole is just who you are, or if it runs in your family. aegon burned half of westeros down to colonise it, so I’m leaning towards the latter.” “colonise?” he was clearly irritated at her choice of words. “one race of people, the valyrians, through violence made another race, the first men, submit to them. that’s the textbook definition of colonisation, is it not?” she raised her brow, inviting him to debate her. she knew it was the subject he felt most passionate about, and thus, it was the class where she would most often find herself playing devil’s advocate, for no reason other than to oppose whatever view aemond had taken. in their revision sessions, too, she liked to watch the passion light a fire in his eye whenever she would declare his opinion was wrong. he looked hot when he was academically pissed off.

“westeros was just different war lord states fighting for dominance until aegon united the seven kingdoms.” he firmly argued. “so what, that gave him open invite to just come and take over?” she challenged, crossing her arms with a self-satisfied grin at having gotten him so riled up already. he opened his mouth to throw his retort at her, when suddenly the door to aemond’s apartment, where they had been studying, swung open to disturb the proceedings.

she saw a man with platinum blonde hair that matched aemond’s stumbling as he entered the apartment with his arm around a beautiful girl, with black hair hanging down to her waist.

aemond, she noted, was visibly annoyed at this.

“oh, did we spoil your little study session?” the other man rhetorically asked, without any real remorse in his tone, his words slurring to indicate that he had been drinking. he sat himself down on the sofa next to y/n, uninvited, a move that inexplicably made aemond’s jaw tighten. “you must be my little brother’s study buddy, y/n. i know all about you, and i’m sure he’s told you nothing about me. i’m aegon, the nerd’s big bro.” y/n was immediately amused at the thought of this man, who was decked in a supreme tracksuit and who’s hair seemed to have been left uncombed, was the perfect, prim and proper aemond’s elder brother. “nice to meet you, aegon. are you studying at the university too?” “business major, yeah, graduating next year.” he replied stretching his hand to place it behind y/n. aemond snorted at his brother, “with the way your finals prep is going, i would not bother wasting money on a graduation gown.” he eyed the woman with whom aegon had entered, judgement clear in his eye.

“hey! i decided to follow your lead and i’ve asked cassandra here to be my study buddy. i’ve actually gone one step further than you and invented the best revision method.” he declared. aemond seemed to have no curiosity at his brother’s statement, but y/n asked “do tell.” aegon turned to her with a pleased smile, “it’s revision, but with strip poker rules.” he simply answered.

she raised a brow at his response, “as in…?” “as in you quiz each other, and every time one of you gets an answer wrong – you take an item of clothing off. it’s a win-win, if you get the answer right, good job, you know your shit. if you don’t…. well, its so much more fun if you don’t.” y/n had to purse her lips to suppress the laughter at the back of her throat.

at the sound of aemond packing up his books, she looked away from aegon to the younger brother. “let’s go to your dorm, y/n. he definitely doesn’t know his shit, and his ‘revision’ tends to be loud.”

☆…━━━━━·:*☆…━━━━━·:*☆…━━━━━·:*☆

as per y/n’s prediction, final’s week had indeed sailed by for aemond and her because of their revision sessions. they only had one exam left now, and it was the one they had both been dreading the most – historical methods. it was a subject that was so boring and plainly simple, that they knew it was easy enough to study for, but they could not bring themselves to revise something so mind-numbingly dull.

y/n, in her frustration, threw her notes on the table at aemond’s apartment. aemond, seated on the other end of the sofa from where y/n was lying on her back, shared her frustration, but he tended to be more stoic and was determined to finish the work on hand. “it’s just a few more topics, and then you never have to think about the subject ever again.” he tried to placate her. “it’s too boring, i can’t do it!” she complained bringing her hands up to her face in frustration. aemond couldn’t help but notice how the action made the t-shirt she was wearing ride up and expose soft skin just above her jean shorts, his eye remaining fixed on the spot for a second too long.

then, the mixture of a caffeine high and a boredom that was seeming like an unending chasm, gave birth to what y/n thought was a brilliant idea. she moved her fingers slightly, so only her eyes would poke out from behind them. “let’s try your brother’s idea.” she suddenly said, “i don’t think anyone has ever said that sentence before.” he remarked.

“i’m serious.” she sat up, as if to indicate her earnestness. “the ‘revision, but with strip poker rules’ idea, let’s try it.”

aemond’s expression was unreadable as she watched him, but she was certain she saw his adam’s apple move at the suggestion. “it’s a dumb idea.” he said, but his throat had gone dry at the thought.  y/n rolled her eyes, “that’s the point! it’ll break the monotony.” she crawled to his side of the sofa. “come on, aemond. don’t be a coward.” the suggestion of him even possibly being cowardly had clearly set off something in him. “fine.” he shut the book in his hand and placed it on the table.

they quizzed each other, and it was going much the same as their usual quizzing went, which disappointed y/n since it did not in fact break the monotony as she had wanted. that was until, in her over-confidence, she got a question wrong. “well…” aemond seemed to be very satisfied indeed at her wrong answer, “are you going to do the honours or are you ready to admit that you’re the only coward here?” he scanned the white t-shirt she was wearing, almost with hunger and an expectancy, y/n thought.

she pulled the shirt off over her head, and threw it right at his smug face, “i’m no coward.” he caught it with ease, and for a split second she was sure he smelling it as he held it to his face, before dropping it in his lap. when he looked at her now, he didn’t even attempt to hide how he was taking in her figure, as she sat exposed only in her black bra. knowing that she was being watched, she sat straighter, even as she muttered “pervert” but made no attempt to hide her form.

 “please, don’t even try to pretend like you don’t love it.” now, that did take her aback. sure, she had caught him looking at her chest or her ass many-a time over their study sessions, and had done nothing to stop it, but she hadn’t realised that he had in fact, caught her catching him when he looked. he knew she had allowed it all this while, unspoken.

the monotony was certainly broken now.

when it was next aemond’s turn to ask a question, he threw her an easy one, a question she had answered in class. but y/n shrugged and said, “i don’t know”, as an answer. aemond snorted at her, “yeah, you do.”

she simply laid on her back as she undid her shorts and slid them down her legs, eyes never leaving aemond’s as she did. he wet his lower lip with his tongue, and then bit down as he watched. his eye trailed her bare legs, up to her panties, with very little being left to his imagination now that she sat only in her underwear on his sofa.

“my turn” she had the perfect trick question in mind, and when he called her out, saying “there is no right answer to that”, she shrugged once again. “are you going to do the honours or are you ready to admit that you’re the only coward here?” she threw his words back in his face with a grin.

he didn’t seem to need a lot of convincing. he pulled off his shirt in one swift move, and y/n felt her stomach clench at the sight of defined muscles on pale skin. she took a minute to memorise his details before she asked him the next question, but she hadn’t even reached the end of it before aemond was unbuttoning his pants, answering the question by simply saying “don’t know, don’t care.” it seemed as if he was in a hurry, as if he had waited long enough for this moment.

y/n seemed to be in a hurry too, when she deliberately gave a rushed, wrong answer to his next question. she moved her knees to straddle him where he sat, able to feel everything through her own cotton panties over his satin boxers. “need some help with the bra hooks.” she said as an excuse for her action. he readily obliged, with his hands reaching behind her and unhooking her bra with ease, letting the material fall down to the floor. his hands trailed up from her waist to her chest, pale hands first covering and then roughly squeezing her breasts. she started to rock back and forth where she sat, her now wet panties grinding against his obvious bulge.

“it’s your turn to ask.” she breathlessly reminded him after a minute, “fuck revision.” he was trailing kisses around her collar bone, sucking hard enough to leave bruises, she was certain. ““fuck revision”? who are you and what have you done to aemond targaryen?” she chuckled. he only gave her a growl in return, as his arms snaked around her waist to hold her up and then place her back down, with her back hitting the soft sofa.

he hovered over her for a second, supporting himself on his knees as his fingertips traced her side. “you look so hot when you’re concentrating….” he murmured, seemingly out of nowhere, as his fingers found the waistband of her panties and hooked under them. “…and when you’re debating me….” he pulled the cloth over her legs, and his hand reached down to the wetness between her legs “… and especially, when someone tells you you’re right.” a shiver went down her spine she felt two of his cold fingers in her folds. “already so wet for me.” he chuckled.

“oh, would you stop being a tease and just…” at her complaint he withdrew his fingers suddenly, causing her to whine. “just what?” he asked, making her feel more frustrated with him than she had ever felt before. “did you really think i was going to let go of the perfect opportunity to make you beg for me? make you beg me, to fuck you?” oh, there was that stupid fucking smug smirk once again. Now, it was no secret that y/n had too much pride, especially when it came to facing off with aemond targaryen. but as she lay there, exposed and achingly wet, she decided she had to bury her pride to get what she wanted.

“aemond…” she swallowed, “fuck me.” that did not seem to give him what he wanted. he cocked his head to one side, “hmm. you’re missing something.” she huffed, thinking why he had to make this so difficult, and how satisfied he must be at getting her in this position. “aemond…fuck me….please.”

at that, he grinned. he bent down to be inches away from her face, “as you wish.”

she felt two of his fingers enter her suddenly, making her gasp. his fingers curled inside of her roughly, at the same time he started to kiss the side of her neck with more gentleness than she had expected of him. the dichotomy gave her a high. his fingers continued their assault, as her hands tangled themselves in his hair. “so tight…” he whispered against her ear, “how long have you been thinking about this, you little slut?” y/n could only hum back, not capable of formulating a well thought-out response.

Her legs clenched as he continued to dig his fingers inside of her with perfect rhythm. His thumb reached up to massage her clit, as her hand reach down to grab the arm that was inside of her, nails leaving scratch marks. A warmth spread around inside her stomach at the feeling.

when he suddenly pulled his fingers out, she groaned in frustration, “has anyone ever told you, you have no patience?” he tutted. y/n rolled her eyes as she sat forward and her hands moved to finally remove his boxers, “yes.”

with his boxers now discarded, he positioned her to lay back down on the sofa, her legs around his waist. his tip grazed her core, but he didn’t enter her which only added to her annoyance. “aemond, i swear to the old gods and the new, if you tease me for a second longer—” she was cut off by him slamming inside of her suddenly. “ah!” she moaned as he filled her, “that ought to shut you up.” he grunted, supporting himself by keeping a hand on the arm of the sofa that was beneath her head. “oh, gods… aemond…” she could feel him touching her spot, legs growing weaker with each thrust.

he was going at it with a ruthless pace, leaving her feeling helpless and satisfied at the same time. his mouth dipped and he began sucking on her nipple, his teeth grazing where she was sensitive, making her yelp in pleasure. she grabbed his shoulder, grip strong enough leave even more marks. as she felt his tongue circle the skin around her nipple, she made a mental note to tell his brother that she had come to agree that his method of revising was indeed ingenious.

“aemond…i’m…” she had begun to say, “yeah baby, almost there” he replied lifting his head to her face. he tucked a stray stand of her hair behind her ear, a gesture that felt more intimate than the sex. he placed his hand on her cheek before his lips finally met hers. she could taste the black coffee they had been drinking on his tongue, mixed with something minty like toothpaste. for all the roughness with which he fucked her, y/n realised that the kiss felt sweet, tender almost.

“fuck…” he said against her lips, and she could tell he was close too. “aemond…ah!” she reached her peak, just as he pulled out and finished on her stomach.

panting, breathless and sore, for once y/n did not have a retort in the presence of aemond targaryen. he seemed rather speechless too, as he remained above her, unspeaking but his eye refusing to leave her face. he seemed to be in deep thought, and just when he opened his mouth to speak, a different voice could be heard from down the hall.

“and you called my ‘revising’ loud.” aegon snorted, leaning against his bedroom door.

[runningfrom2am]

kinda famous - d.s

summary: after your debut album charts in the top 100, you somehow get invited to the obx3 premiere. you went there to make connections- but maybe not the exact kind you ended up leaving with.

wc: 2.6k

tags/warnings: no warnings! just a meet-cute :), drew x musician!reader

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February 16th, 2023

Not a day went by this past year where you didn't consider yourself incredibly lucky. Your debut album saw some medial success, landing you in the Spotify top one hundred with the help of a TikTok trend to some of the lyrics from your first single. You could hardly believe it was real, sometimes. What always helped, however, is having connections.

Your best friend was a makeup artist to the stars. Working on movies like Avatar and even a few marvel films, but most notably and most recently, she's been working with Madelyn Cline. They've taken a liking to each other, having been in touch about every event, shoot, and movie she's been working on in hopes of having her new friend styling her look for the occasion. Luckily for you, your best friend is your number one fan- and hardly ever does she have a client who isn't forced to sit through your album while she's blending out the makeup on their faces or curling their hair.

Madelyn, apparently, had taken a liking to it. In the words of your best friend, "She was just gushing over it! She requests your music every time she's in my chair. I swear." So that, is how you ended up at the OBX3 premiere, shaking hands with one of the most beautiful actresses of your generation while she complimented both your dress and your music.

"I am seriously such a big fan. B/F/N put me on and I am literally obsessed." Madelyn smiles, dropping your hand.

"Oh my god, you're such a sweetheart- stop." You laugh, waving her off.

She smiles and leans in, resting her hand on your shoulder as she whispers in your ear. "Between us, I can't confirm anything just yet, but I'm working on getting you a soundtrack offer for season four."

You gasp, your hands flying up to cover your mouth to hide your shock. "No- you're literally joking!"

The blonde smiles and shakes her head, giggling and clapping her hands together excitedly. "We all listen to you on set- it's growing on the producers I think."

"Oh my god- Obviously I am so down! Allegedly, of course." You smile, winking at her.

"Yes, of course, Allegedly." She laughs, matching your wink. "I have to run, but we'll jump in for some photos together on the carpet, yeah?" Madelyn grins, giving you a quick hug and brushing past you in the direction of the curtain where everyone lines up for photos.

Feeling absolutely giddy, you're quick to lift your dress and shuffle over to the makeup room, where B/F/N was still working with some other clients doing some touch ups. "Oh my god!" You smile as you approach her chair, where she's just wiping up. You cringe internally at the sound of your music playing over her desk speaker, hearing the way you swore that the man you wrote this song about was the love of your life, and you'd be a fool to let him go. It wasn't long after the release that you ended up having to, discovering he was cheating on you with a girl from his hometown.

"Y/N! Hey girl! Did you get to talk to Mads?" She asks, looking back at you over her shoulder.

"Yes! And I have some serious tea to tell you later. Well- not serious, but good! It's definitely tea." You explain vaguely, knowing she'll understand.

"Yay! Okay, we'll debrief after." She nods. "Did you talk to anyone else?"

You instantly shake your head as she turns to face you. "God, no, I'm petrified." She doesn't answer, holding her finger up in your face and digging through her kit and pulling out a brush.

"Look up." She says, pointing to the ceiling and you oblige as she touches up the shadow under your eyes and brushes away some flaked mascara while she talks. "You need to. You've got to make some more connections- I can't carry you forever." She teases, placing the brush back in her belt when she's done. "They're a lovely cast, trust me."

You nod a little, taking a deep breath. "I just like... don't know what to do. Do I just walk around and talk to people?"

"That's the beauty of it! You're already doing it. Just show that stunning face of yours to the cameras with this beautiful dress, smile, make small talk, and opportunity will fall into your lap. I know you- everyone will love you regardless." She muses, quickly adjusting the waistline of your dress. "And report back to me- of course."

"You're not gonna come? I want some pictures with you. The world needs to see the artist behind this face." You grin, gesturing to your face of makeup and wiggling your eyebrows.

"Yes, of course." She giggles, smacking your shoulder playfully. "I'll change and come find you."

You smile and clap your hands together, bouncing in your heels. "Let's go together! I think I have to because I'm basically your plus one."

"No- absolutely not." She dismisses you quickly, closing up part of her kit and doing some quick organization. "You, my dearest Y/N, need to prove your independence in the industry. Just because you put out your Lover Era album doesn't mean you can't stand proudly on your own after the breakup. Your energy will draw all the cute boys to you. I just know it." She jokes at the end, but you know she's serious about her sentiment.

Your breakup wasn't fresh anymore- she was right. It didn't hurt and keep you up all night over heartache that you had assumed would never get better. You're thriving now, you feel like yourself again. "That's not why I'm here and you know that." You giggle.

"Of course not... It just would be a nice bonus." She shrugs. "Now shoo! You're distracting me. I'll see you in a few." She pushes you away, winking at you before returning to her cleanup duties.

You take a few breathes as you turn around, making a conscious effort to smile as you walk over to the curtain where crew is organizing people and sending them out onto the carpet.

Luckily, you spot the bar not far away, and quickly make your way over to grab a quick glass of wine before you have to step out. You try to sip on it casually, not wanting to draw attention to yourself, but craving the buzz and freedom that comes with being a little tipsy around strangers.

"You're Y/N L/N, right?" Someone approaches you, and you quickly turn to the source of the voice.

"Yes, that's me." You smile, securing your glass in one hand before holding out your hand to shake. The woman takes it, smiling politely as she shakes it.

"Lovely. We're ready for you whenever, just go check in with that lovely gentleman by the curtain and you're free to walk when you're ready." The woman smiles, quickly taking off to go deal with more crew business.

You lean back against the bar, nursing your drink still and glancing in the direction of the dressing rooms and hoping your best friend would walk out in time to join you. You give it another minute as you finish your drink, feeling adequately warmed by the alcohol in your system before approaching the curtain.

"Hey! Nice to meet you, I'm Y/N L/N." You greet the man with the clip board and he nods, giving you a thumbs up and holding the curtain back for you to step out. You take deep breaths and focus on smiling (and not tripping) as you take the few extra paces behind a wall before you'll be in view of the many cameras you can already see flashing at the cast and their friends standing already in their full view. You hear lots of voices as you walk up, but they somehow get a million times louder as you step into the lights.

This isn't your first red carpet, but it is your first premiere. Besides the backdrop curtain, they have a variety of props from the show, including the Twinkie itself, making you giddy with excitement. You make a mental note to yourself to not leave without a picture of you behind the wheel for your instagram.

"Y/N! Look over here!" You hear a dozen voiced calling your name and you decide your best move is to smile and wave, stopping and placing one hand on your hip and just glancing across the whole crowd of camera men and interviewers behind the small fence. You give it a few moments to capture hopefully enough photos for their portfolios before an interviewer pulls you over to chat with them.

"Y/N! So nice to meet you. You look absolutely stunning!" They grin, shaking your hand and holding the mic up to your lips.

"Hello! And thank you so much! It's lovely to meet you too. What's your name?" You ask, smiling at them and giving a quick wave to the cameras still flashing in your face as they record you with one closer up.

"I'm Noah. I'm with Netflix just documenting everyone here tonight." He grins. "So, we were all excited to hear you would be coming tonight! Are you a fan of the show?"

"Oh my god, I'm a huge fan." You gush, looking around at the other people on the carpet. "I was just so lucky to be invited- I was ecstatic when I got the invitation from Madelyn. So nervous, though. So, so nervous."

"I can't imagine!" He chuckles, agreeing with you. "If it makes you feel any better, we've heard from a few members of the cast that they were looking forward to meeting you."

"That does actually help a lot, thank you." You giggle, a blush covering your cheeks. "You mind telling me who, though? I'd love to know who wants to talk to me and who I should probably not bother." You joke.

"Oh, nobody to avoid here. This is one of the nicest casts I've ever worked with." Noah assures you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. "That being said, the boys seemed extra keen." He winks, making you laugh.

"Oh god, okay, I'll keep that in mind." You go along with it, looking around and seeing the rest of the cast goofing off a little ways away.

"So, I have to ask, Y/N- keep in mind you don't have to answer if you don't want to, about your breakup- how are you doing? Your album is absolutely amazing, you told a beautiful story, but we've all heard about what happened afterwards." He says, and you glance down nervously, trying to maintain your smile as best you can.

"Yeah, totally. Uh-" You pause for a second. Your ex has never been in the public eye- you were highschool sweethearts, which gave your album a sense of purity and authenticity that was almost rare in modern music. With that, however, comes a responsibility to keep him out of public scandal in the fallout of the albums success. "I am doing really well. I believe my ex is as well. Of course he was always a huge inspiration for me, and he always supported me and my dreams, so I know he's still cheering me on, which is a nice feeling." You nod, smiling as Noah drops his arm from around your shoulders, patting your back.

“Well, you’re stronger than I am because I would want him to be punching the air right now.” Noah laughs.

“No! God, no, I’d never want that for him. I wish him all the success in the world, which just means something different for both of-“ You try to explain, when you get bumped from behind and stumble slightly forward. You let out a little squeak and try to turn to look what happened when someone steadies you by your waist.

“Sorry, sweetheart. Didn’t mean to knock you there.” A man chuckles, making sure you’re steady before letting you go. You’re met with blue eyes that reflect the lights and the matching colour of his suit just beautifully, and you quickly recognize him as Rafe- quickly racking your brain for the actors name. Drew- yes. That’s it.

“No! No you’re fine- I was in the way.” You say sheepishly, laughing it off and adjusting your dress again.

“Drew, Welcome back! While I’ve got you both here,” Noah says, holding the microphone up to him as he nods, leaning down a little in anticipation of the question. “Have you listened to Y/N’s album? We were just talking about it.”

Drew nods, smiling and locking eyes with you again briefly. “Yes, of course. It’s both Maddie’s favourites right now, they’ve always got it playing on set. If it wasn’t so good I’d be sick of it.” He chuckles.

“Aw- thank you!” You grin. “Thanks for listening even if it’s against your will.” Your eyes connect again and you feel yourself blushing once more, he just has this aura about him that shows he’s really listening and really cares what you have to say. “Not to plug it here or anything, but we’re almost at ten million streams on spotify so I’m feeling really proud of it, it truly was a passion project for me. Sorry…” You explain, looking back at the interviewer again, trailing off when you realize you’re acting selfishly.

“No, don’t apologize. You worked hard on it- you deserve to talk about it.” Drew cuts in before Noah can speak. “Everyone stream it- you won’t regret it.” He says, pointing to the camera.

“Yes, absolutely.” Noah agrees. “We won’t take up any more of your time, but I’ll let you know we’re all looking forward to your next album already.” He smiles, giving you a quick hug.

“Thank you!” You wave as him and his crew are quick to move onto someone else. You take a deep breath, turning and jumping slightly when you see Drew still standing there, looking down at you as you clasp your hand against your chest. “Oh, gosh. I didn’t know you were still there.” You giggle, quickly adjusting your hair.

“Sorry.” Drew chuckles, holding his hand out to you. “We haven’t properly met. I’m Drew. Or you might know me as Rafe, I guess.”

You smile, taking his hand and shaking it. “Y/N. You might know me as the girl who got cheated on right after releasing an album about how amazing her relationship is.”

This makes him laugh, dropping his head back as he lets go of your hand. “Hey, it’s good to have a sense of humour about it I guess.” He says, locking eyes with you again. His charisma is truly captivating- it’s rare you meet someone in the Hollywood scene who seems to care about anyone other than themselves.

“I’m coping.” You shrug, laughing it off with him.

“Let’s grab a few pictures together, then maybe a drink?” Drew suggests, guiding you back towards where the rest of the cast was taking photos with the beat-up van parked on the carpet. “I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

“Yeah! Yeah- thank you.” You smile, glancing over your shoulder and seeing your best friend stepping out. She quickly waved at you, giving you an excited look and a thumbs up, which you return behind his back.

No doubt the pictures of this moment will embarrass you tomorrow, but at least the debrief with your best friend in the uber home will have a lot of good things to cover.

taglist: @slut4drudy , @madelynie , @mutual-mendes , @sadfury (i just tagged some mutuals who like my other stuff so if you want to be added or removed lmk!!)

reblogs and feedback are very appreciated as always :)

[everythingmp3]

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭

Tess Servopoulos x fem!reader

AO3 / part 1

after spending the whole summer apart, you finally get to reunite with Tess. nobody has any idea what you are up to as you spend a whole week together.

authors note: thank you to everyone who gave me such lovely feedback on crossing lines! a few people asked for a continuation, so I went back to this story and I am really glad I did bc it’s close to my heart and I had a lot of fun developing it further. this one is heavy on the romantic aspect bc I wanted it to be joyful and light and to function as a kind of escape for anyone who might need it! I put a lot of thought and time into this, it’s a labour of love, so I really hope you guys enjoy reading it <3

warnings: minors dni. smut (both giving and receiving), large age gap bc reader is in her early 20s Tess is in her early/mid 40s

word count: 25k

as predicted, the two weeks that Tess stayed in your hometown went by in a flash.

fourteen days sounded like a decent amount of time, but the number of hours that you actually spent together one-on-one was very limited. you tried your best, some evenings you´d go over to the place where she was staying and got lost in the heat of the chemistry you had, during those moments it was pure bliss, Tess was a devoted lover and made you feel wanted in ways you´d hardly allowed yourself to dream of before, but you could not stay the night more than a few times, since the excuse of “sleeping over a friend´s house” would have made Joel suspicious if used it too often. it frustrated you that you were so restricted in your movement with her, that you couldn´t go out and get lunch because you knew too many people around town who also knew him, it was hard not to grow frustrated those days because you wanted nothing more than to spend entire days with her, free of the anxiety of who might see or judge you.

one rather nerve wracking event happened a week into her stay: Joel suggested that you should all get dinner together. it was not as unbearable and awkward as you´d have expected, but still, it was hard to sit across the table from her all night pretending like you didn´t wanna touch her or kiss her or look at her with more than polite interest. for her it was just as hard to keep her gaze on him when he talked, while you were so close, your skin glowing beautifully, the memory of its feeling against hers clouding her mind with desire. towards the end of the dinner Tess excused herself to go to the bathroom because she had to catch a break, the heat of the summer day mixing with the heat of her need for you, leaving her a total mess by the end of the night, even more greedy for the taste of you the next time you both found yourselves alone. the one perk of being unfree in your expression of affection was how violently you made up for it when you reunited, more than once you´d sat on the edge of your bed at night, touching the bites and marks she´d left on your inner thighs, your chest, all the places where nobody would be able to see, a satisfied grin on your face when you pressed down on the sensitive spots and felt a slight pain, the lingering impact of her lips, her teeth, her hunger. 

at times it did feel strange to lie to your father´s face, especially when he came home from hanging out with her, talking about what they´d done and seen, blissfully unaware of the things you two had done the night before; the constant sneaking around and hiding of your true feelings did make it harder at times to fully enjoy the feeling of being so obsessed with each other, that early stage of no amount of touch being enough, and yet you still soaked up all of the warmth and joy you could during the few times where you could just lay in bed together and forget about the outside world. 

the morning she was going to drive back home, you told Joel you were “seeing a friend for breakfast” and then spent a very emotionally charged hour with her, which looking back almost embarrassed you a little because you´d sobbed quite violently in her arms once it was time to say goodbye. you usually didn´t cry in front of others but you couldn´t help it that day, you´d grown so comfortable around her and she´d made you feel so seen for who you really were, that being separated from her for weeks on end seemed like a nightmare. she put on a slightly braver face, holding your hand and kissing your tear stained cheeks as she told you in an earnest manner “we´ll see each other at the end of August, alright? you´ll come visit and we´ll do whatever we want, but in the meantime you should enjoy your summer. you better have some fun stories to tell me when we see each other again, okay?”, followed by a brief moment of silence and a tentative nod from you, trying to cling to the knowledge that you´d eventually reunite. 

the days after Tess´s departure you tried your best not to let it show that it had affected you, but you knew you weren´t concealing it well, so you pretended you were a little under the weather and spent some time in bed, sulking and being dramatic about your lovesickness. 

almost immediately after Tess was back home you two developed a routine. it was clear as day that she was not a great texter so you called each other about every other day, mostly at night because then neither of you were in a rush, laying in bed and catching each other up on what you´d done that day, her offering some gossip about coworkers, you offering some about people from high school you´d run into, asking more personal questions that you hadn´t thought of before, comforting each other whenever you´d had a rough day, teasing each other a lot, making the best of your less than ideal situation of being miles and miles apart.

generally, your calls were calm and relaxed but during one of them, when it had gotten particularly late and her voice was even raspier and lower in your ear than usual, the sudden silence on your side and your labored breaths gave away what you were trying to do, she paused for a moment before she asked “are you getting off to my voice right now?” which made you stop immediately, but after a brief laugh she added “no come on, it´s okay, let me help you out there”. from the moment you had first kissed her, you had never been shy with her about how much you liked her but in moments like that it did take her a moment to believe it, that you were truly that into her, enough to get turned on just from hearing her speak. it was both endearing and thrilling to her, to be lusted after that overtly.

she´d never talked anyone through it over the phone but Tess liked a challenge, so she thought about what you might want her to say and continued speaking, telling you how pretty you looked when you´re all worked up and desperate, what she´d do if she was there next to you, her tone soft and sultry, so she didn´t have to keep doing it for long, after a while of getting into it she could hear a sound that signaled to her that you were done, a sense of cockiness swelling up in her. a moment after you said “you should feel really good about yourself”, she smiled which you could hear from the way she spoke, of course she knew what you meant but she liked teasing you, “oh yeah? why?”, “why? Tess. I miss you so much that I´m doing shit like this” she laughed then, “well, we´re in a similar spot then”, “are you saying you jerk off thinking about me?” you teased back, “take a wild guess sweetheart”. 

that night you had various feverish dreams about her, inspired by what had happened over the phone mere minutes before you fell asleep, which left you spaced out and distracted the next day, haunted by the visions you´d had of her mixed with the actual real life memories that were utter torture to think of. it happened pretty often in the following weeks that you had to ask someone to repeat themselves because you were busy thinking of her; Tess on the other hand was eyed curiously by a few of her friends and colleagues because they sensed an unfamiliar ease in her, she smiled more than usual, she was less irritable and snapped at people way less frequently than before, to a point where her closest friend straight up asked “okay. who is she?” over dinner one night because she knew that Tess could only be magically changed like that by a pretty intense infatuation. 

towards the end of summer it was thankfully rather explain to Joel why you wanted to go back to college early, you made something up about getting into the groove of things before classes started and he was just glad to see you eager to get back to your life there because the year before you´d sometimes seemed a little fed up with everything. as long as you were happy he was happy but of course, the true source of your happiness might have changed his mind in that instance. lucky for you, he had not caught on about the fact that your enthusiasm had absolutely nothing to do with your academic life. the plan you and Tess had come up with was a simple one: you´d fly back to your college town and from there you could take a train to Tess´s city that would take about two hours, which meant you´d get there in the early evening if everything went according to plan. 

she told you she´d park just down the road of the station and the moment you spotted her from a distance it reminded you of the first time you´d met: she was leaning against the passenger door the exact same way, but this time a bright smile crept onto her face as soon she saw you walking towards her. what she did then was very typically Tess, she didn´t walk or run over to you but let you come close to her, those subtle displays of dominance that suited her well, watching your slightly tired but utterly joyful expression as you approached her, waiting until you were only a few feet away from her to finally stand up and open her arms. the second she did that you dropped your bags and swung your arms around her neck, immediately nuzzling your face against her neck and making a sound of excitement as she picked you up with her familiar strong grip, lifting you from the ground for a second, wrapping her arms tightly around your back as you breathed in her scent, her hair soft against your face, the fragrance of her shampoo reminding you of the times you´d been in bed with her and had gotten an intoxicating whiff of it. “my sweet girl” she said as she kept holding you. neither of you wanted to let go, so you stayed like that for about a minute, wordlessly embracing and touching, eyes closed, melting into each other, instantly as comfortable as you´d been the last time you´d been that close two months prior. eventually you let go and faced each other, somehow there was an agreement that you´d wait to kiss until you could do it properly, passionately, in private, so you held her hand instead and waited for her to speak, beaming at her, overjoyed by the thought of having a whole week with her ahead of you, trying to soak up the bliss of that long awaited reunion, the sun casting you in a golden glow that matched the warm feeling you both felt in your chests. 

she looked at you with soft eyes and touched your cheek with her free hand, caressing you the way she´d done countless times before, you breathing out deeply as you leaned into it because that simple gesture alone put your whole body at ease. “you´ve had a long day, right? are you tired now?” a subtle sound of concern, you smiled at her, still processing that she was actually in front of you again, somehow even more beautiful than you  remembered, her hair slightly ruffled from the breeze, her face bronzed and freckled from the weeks of sun before, “well I was tired until like a minute ago, but now I´m wide awake”. she grabbed you by your waist then, enjoying your flirting, holding onto you, “good, that´s what I hoped. so how about we go home first, you can freshen up, relax, and then we can go get some dinner, how does that sound?”, “perfect, ideal” you said, leaning in to kiss her cheek while whispering “I missed you, so much”, an obvious statement but you felt the need to remind her, her hands lingering on your back as she let you press your lips against her face, “I missed you too. I´m glad to have you all to myself this week”. she took your bags from you and put them into the trunk, joining you in the car a few seconds after and it felt good to be back in that seat next to her since that was where your whole relationship had started, where you´d spent the first few hours of knowing each other, it reminded you of the fun you´d had with her during the beginning of summer, the nervousness before you dared to go for it, so it was a cute full circle moment, to be right back in that same spot.

“ah I missed this, your shameless staring” she said, grinning as she pulled out of the parking spot and felt your gaze fixed on the right side of her face, you´d gotten comfortable and were eyeing her with clear desire, unwilling to mask any of it. “well, you might get sick of it by the end of the week”, she shook her head, “no, never. oh by the way, here, I thought you might need something like this”, she directed your attention to the drink holders between you, which held two of the refreshments she´d seen you go for most often. “didn´t know which one you´d prefer right now so I just got both”, it was one of the things about her that had won you over from the start, her way of paying attention to even the smallest things, her way of reminding you that she cared about the details, “oh thank you, that´s really sweet”, you said as you took a big sip of one of the cold drinks, but Tess never wanted any praise for her little acts of service because she saw it as the most natural thing in the world, so she changed the subject. 

“so, be honest, was it weird? lying to him about all this?” she knew that it was no small thing, to lie to Joel that blatantly about going back to college when you were actually visiting her for a whole week, so she made sure you were still fine with it. “oh it was okay. we get a little pissed off with each other when we spend so many weeks in one house, so I think that helped with me not feeling too bad”, she nodded, an amused expression “right, I get that, good to have some distance now I assume?”. “yeah for sure. but not just because of him, I was honestly just glad to be leaving home now”, that intrigued her, “oh yeah? how come?”, a sympathetic tone, you thought about it “I don´t love spending that much time back where I grew up. now that I have my own life, coming back there sometimes makes me feel so out of place and weird.. like running into old friends and seeing all the places I used to spend my time, it can get suffocating after a while, all those memories and old feelings”. Tess made a sound of agreement, “yeah I get that, I avoid going back to my hometown, I used to do it more when I was younger but I only do Christmas now, that´s it. sometimes you just outgrow a place and it feels odd as hell to return, huh?”, you nodded, “exactly yes”, she hardly ever talked about her family so you knew it meant something for her to share that information, you didn´t press her further, still, it made you feel understood and seen in a way.

“so, this might be a good moment to say thank you for letting me come here” she tried to wave it off but you insisted “no, really! I can´t tell you how nice it is to be able to leave early without having to go back to my everyday life already. you´re kind of saving my life by giving me this in between, I already feel lighter right now, like I can breathe out again”, she grabbed your hand, squeezing it a little, “well I´m glad, I want you to let go of everything and just enjoy this week okay? I´ll take good care of you” she meant it, she felt protective over you and wanted nothing more than to offer you an escape from whatever might be weighing on you, “oh, I´m sure you will”, you said, a suggestiveness to your words that made her laugh then, “okay, I wasn´t just talking about that kind of care but sure, that too”. there was palpable tension between you, you could both feel it as you kept glancing at each other, Tess was wearing something you hadn´t seen her in yet, the temperature was warm but not too hot so she´d opted for black pants that hugged her body perfectly paired with an oversized navy t-shirt that left her forearms exposed, you were also dressed in something that was unfamiliar to her, which left you in a similar state of wanting to get your hands under the fabric already. a charged silence hung between you as she pulled into her street and interrupted your shared moment of fantasizing, “this is it” she announced, pointing at her house as she looked for an empty spot.

“okay wow...” you said, clearly stunned. the street was picturesque: tall buildings, beautiful architecture, five story houses with little iron balconies out front, a row of lush trees on either side of the street that cast pretty shadows onto the sidewalk. the area seemed both urban and peaceful, it was very close to the center of the city so there were little shops and cafes further down the block that were busy during that time of day, she was pleased by your reaction, the nervousness about having you stay with her was fading by the second. “you know what. I think I should just drop out and come live here, be your trophy girlfriend” you joked as you both exited the car and you got a good look at your surroundings, she laughed as she got your bags for you, charmed by your enthusiasm, secretly into the idea of having you with her for good  “enticing offer, truly, I´ll think about it”

as you walked up the stairs to her apartment, you noticed how nice even just the hallway was, the ground floor had mosaic tiles, the stairs seemed about a century old, sturdy and almost like something you´d find in an old library, you turned to Tess who was walking behind you, “is it possible that you´re hiding the fact that you´re kind of rich?”, which she could only laugh at, “I wish. rent-control, baby, that´s the reason I´ve been living here for ten years, I couldn´t afford places in this area if I moved here now. but feel free to believe that I am secretly rich, I don´t mind”. 

by the time she let you in, you were slightly out of breath, steading yourself against the wall as she dropped your bags on the floor and closed the door, giving you only a brief second to recover before she grabbed your face with determination and kissed you, deeply this time, her hands holding your face as she pushed you further against the wall, eager, kissing you in a way that was not elegant or pretty but messy with all the pent up tension, her taste still familiar to you, even after all those weeks, hot and slightly sweet against your tongue, your skin tingling where her knee brushed yours as she had you against the wall, a series of desperate but pleased sounds leaving both of you until you eventually got dizzy with the heat of it and separated, smiling bright while you stood there breathing even heavier than before.

“so” she said, her lips a deeper shade of pink than before, “I think I should give you a tour of your home for the week now, right? be a good host”, you nodded, smiling to yourself, realizing that you hadn´t even taken a look around yet. Tess lead you to her bedroom first to drop off your stuff there and it was just what you´d imagined it to be: minimal but elegant, nothing showy, no bright colors, but an impressively large bed for one person with very comfortable looking sheets, the same dark wooden floor you´d already noticed outside the room that gave her whole space an expensive, chic feel. there was not much clutter at all, she was obviously a neat person, you could tell that she took good care of the few belongings that she cherished, no clothes over her chair, no trinkets on the dresser, nothing left laying around where it didn´t belong. still, the room had a distinctly warm and inviting feel to it, you could already imagine how well you´d sleep in there and she was glad to read the enthusiasm in your expression; Tess was only human, so naturally she´d worried about what you´d think of her place, if you´d feel comfortable staying there for a while, but those thoughts were quickly replaced by relief when she saw no hesitation on your part as you moved around, quite the opposite, you seemed elated.

Tess quickly showed you where the bathroom was but didn´t have much to say about it, so instead she lead you to the room that took up most of her apartment: her living room that was connected to the kitchen, a bright open space, one that made it easy imagine her throwing dinner parties there, which she probably rarely did, but still, the understated chicness of the place lent itself to fantasies. the thing that struck you most about her apartment was that it got a ton lot of beautiful natural light, it had tall ceilings and big windows, so during that early evening hour you were spoiled with a glow of orange-golden sunlight, two windowed doors opening up to her balcony, which looked like a lovely place to spend summer nights. it was very obvious that the apartment belonged to a person who was not that easy to figure out just by taking a look around, it fit her personality, that you wouldn´t have been able to guess much about her just by judging the interior design, other than the fact that she had good taste. 

eventually Tess reached the end of what she had to show you, so she got comfortable on the couch and patted the space next to her, looking up at you with an inviting smile, but as you stepped closer you shook your head and lowered yourself onto her lap instead, your arm around her neck as she put hers around your lower back to steady you, glad about the fact that you still seemed just as physically comfortable with her as you´d been in June. 

you held onto her as you smiled at her, taking a look at her pretty eyes from up close as you said, “I just realized I haven´t asked you a thing about the stuff that matters yet. so, how are you, really? is it still stressful at work? you mentioned something last week, I was kinda worried” you purposely put on the tone that a wife using to comfort her tired spouse after a long day at work, it charmed her, she thought about it for a moment as her hands wandered up and down your back.“oh I´m okay, sweetie, really, it´s getting better now. for a minute they were just giving me more and more shit to do because I get things done faster than the others. maybe I should start slacking off a little.. but yeah it´s good to have a break now. the thought of you coming here kinda kept me going last week” that made you feel warm but also evoked some sympathy, you exaggerated a little with your pity as you answered  “poor thing” brushing a strand of her hair out of her face, eyeing her with tenderness, “I wish I could have been here and cooked for you or something, helped you out a little” she smiled imagining it, “hm, I´d have liked that”. “well I´m here now, I´ll help you relax this week, don´t you worry” your hands on her shoulders then, squeezing a little, gently massaging her muscles there for a moment, a pleased sigh from her as she shut her eyes, “god, I forgot how sweet you are..” you stared at her, tilting your head, “forgot?? I guess I´ll have to leave more of an impression this time”, a grin as you said this, still moving your fingers over the fabric of her shirt, she nodded, already fully back under your spell again, “feel free to overdo it, yes”. 

she didn´t have to tell you that twice. you moved your legs to go from sitting on her to straddling her and leaned down to kiss her neck, gently at first, but quickly getting lost in the sensation of her scent, her soft skin, feeling her struggle to stay quiet and still under you until her patience wore thin and she needed more, so she tugged at the bottom of your shirt to signal to you to let her pull it off. the moment you leaned back again, she did just that, pulling it off and throwing it to the side before she grabbed you and kissed your chest, a low humming sound of pleasure, your hands around her neck as she put her lips to the soft skin right above your bra, biting it lightly because she couldn´t keep her desperation for you inside. you did her a favor and removed your underwear, so she could do what she really wanted, to get her mouth on your tits, messy and needy as she moved you from her legs to your back onto the couch, leaning down and covering your whole chest and stomach in wet kisses, overcome with all the desire she´d kept at bay during the time she had to manage being separated from you, your breathing interrupted by satisfied sighs. you spent about half an hour just making out on her couch like that, grabbing and biting and caressing each other in a feverish state of “I missed you” passion, and yet, holding off with actually fucking because you both knew you´d want to really take your time and do it properly later that evening, perhaps also because you liked the idea of getting hot for each other during dinner, having that leftover bit of anticipation, drawing it out a few more hours to savor the intense longing you´d both gotten so used to. 

eventually, you suggested that you should probably go take a shower and get changed. you were eager to look as good as possible in her presence, so she showed you where she kept her towels and left you to it, getting herself a drink from the fridge and opening the balcony door to sit there with a breeze against her face as she smiled to herself, unable to hide how giddy she was over the fact that she finally had the girl she wanted back in her life,  many days and nights to look forward to.

once you were out of the shower you wrapped yourself in a big towel and went back to her bedroom to get dressed, still high on the surreal feeling of being in her space, daydreaming about becoming part of it, not just for a week. as you looked at all the tops you´d brought with you, none of them stood out to, so you got an idea and stepped closer to the door to call out to Tess, “what is it?” she answered from the living room, “come, help me with something”, so she did what she was told. Tess didn´t walk into the room but stopped in the door frame for a second to take in the sight of you in your underwear and jeans “damn, I could get used to this” she said, looking you up and down, her arms crossed, you smiled at her, a sudden tingling sensation on your exposed skin where her gaze was resting.

“can I wear one of your shirts? please?” you asked, batting your eyelashes at her but you didn´t even have to convince her, she loved the idea of seeing you in her clothes, “sure, yeah, come here” she said, waving you over as she walked to her closet and opened the doors for you, “nothing´s off limits, pick whatever you want” so you started scanning the various fabrics as she watched you, absentmindedly tracing your upper body with her fingers, all the parts of you that were yet to be covered, the softness of your freshly showered skin making her space out until you said “okay, let´s try this one”. 

you stepped in front of the full length mirror next to her closet and pulled the black long sleeve shirt that you´d picked out over your head, it was light enough for summer nights and fit you well, you fussed with your hair as she stepped behind you, she could tell that you were trying to find a fault with your appearance, so her arms found their way around your waist, pulling you back into herself as she looked ahead at the reflection of you both, her head resting on your shoulder, “you´re so pretty” she cooed before leaning in and lightly kissing your neck, turned on from the sight of you in something that was hers. you smiled and closed your eyes as she started feeling you up, “we won´t make it to dinner if you keep doing that” you sighed, so she laughed and restrained herself, letting you go and walking over to her bedside table to touch up her perfume, hearing you utter “god that smells so good..” the second it hit your nose, because even just a hint of her signature scent was enough to make you feel dizzy. Tess looked pleased, well aware of that effect, recalling the times you´d basically licked her neck with pure greed, not acknowledging your comment but announcing her plans instead “okay so, there´s this great Thai place about fifteen minutes from here, it´s my favorite spot, so much so that I actually never take people there because I like that it´s my secret thing, but I´d like show it to you”, you smiled, “so, I´m an exception?”, she nodded “absolutely yes”, somehow you could tell that she wasn´t just saying it to charm you, that you did occupy a special place in her life. “sounds good to me, I´m starving so I´ll be very easy to impress”, “okay great, come on then”. you both exited the bedroom and collected your things before stepping out, both giddy with the excitement of having a proper date night for the first time since getting together, no time limit, no rush, total freedom. 

the atmosphere that night was idyllic, it was that distinct late summer feel, a warmth that was pleasant but not too heavy, the sun setting earlier than those bright weeks in June, casting the sky in a muted blue, little accents of orange from the glow of the streetlights, the sound of people chatting and getting drinks after a long day, a collective sense of slow ease in the city as you linked arms and started walking. usually, Tess kept her head down when she made her way through those streets, she was the type to just zone out and wear headphones all the way to her destinations, never looking at her hometown with much generosity, lost in a dull routine, but your presence was changing things for her; she found herself falling back in love with where she lived because she saw how much you were enjoying yourself, it was rubbing off on her, the way you looked around and pointed out all the details she usually passed by without thinking twice. for years Tess had refused to be present in her life, after a few very painful years she´d decided to just give up on excitement, on chasing thrills and had numbed herself as best as she could, pushing herself into a state of hardness that left her cut off from most strong feelings. she told herself it was better that way, to remain detached and untouchable, but you had come along and were helping her come out of that state. you´d given her a reason to feel again, to come back into her body, to be in touch with her senses and the world again, for the first time in ages she felt completely present, glad to be exactly where she was in life. as she thought all of this you could feel her pulling you closer, shoulder to shoulder, you´d missed it terribly all summer, those casual intimacies with her. 

during your walk to the restaurant she gave you the inside scoop on a lot of the places you passed: her favorite spot for coffee, a cinema that she frequented, a bar that she might take you to later that week, the entire time you were listening intently, buzzing with the joy of being let into her life like that. 

the place was located in a small alley that branched out from the bigger street you´d been walking down, so it was quiet and secluded, the kind of place that didn´t need a bunch of fancy decorations to lure people in, a lowkey but cozy vibe, a few lanterns hanging outside, little candles burning on the tables, vases with little fresh flowers around the room. you decided to sit inside because the doors were open anyway and a few couples were already sitting out on the terrace, so a table indoors would offer a little more privacy. the room was dimly lit and a delicious smell was stirring your hunger, a few workers busy behind the bar with making drinks, soft music playing over the speakers as a kind waitress showed you to a table placed two menus in front of you.

“so, go ahead and tell me what´s good here” you said, leaning your head on your hands while looking at her expectantly. “well I have my usual order but how about we share a few things so you can try more of them? we can take whatever we can´t finish home”, that sounded good to you, so you ended up deciding on both a noodle and rice dish, some homemade spring rolls, dumplings with chili sauce, and two peach iced teas, which she advertised as the best you´d ever have. 

as you waited for the food she pulled your hands over the table, holding them as you both stared at each other lovingly. “I honestly can´t believe I´m actually here now” you said, “yeah me neither” she agreed while you both interlaced your fingers, almost like you had to touch the other person to be sure you weren´t dreaming. “can I be real for a second?” you asked, “please, yes”. you laughed to yourself before going on “I honestly went kind of insane this summer because of you”, Tess smiled then, not having expected that “should I apologize?”, of course she didn´t feel sorry at all, you shook your head, “I just need you to know how serious I am about this. like I have truly never felt this way, it was all day, all night, I couldn´t think of anything else to be honest”. usually Tess was not one to admit her intense feelings to others, especially not romantically, but in that moment she didn´t feel scared to do it, she wanted you to know that it was not one-sided, that obsessiveness you were describing,“yeah I was going through something similar, people caught on very quickly about what was going on with me, which says a lot because I´d like to think of myself as hard to read. but yeah, apparently it was written all over my face when I thought about you” you liked the sound of that,“really?”, “yeah, someone straight up asked me who “she” is because it was so obvious”, you were thrilled by the idea of someone as calm and collected as her being so shaken up by you, “and what did you say?” you inquired, leaning forward.

“oh the truth of course, that I´m having an affair with my friend´s college age daughter”, her dry delivery of that made you laugh then, “affair? that sounds scandalous”, she kept looking at you, “well I hate to break it to you but this kind of is sweetheart”. she was right of course, but it did slip your mind at times how odd your involvement might seem to others, since it felt so right and natural to you. “so, is that a turn on for you? that this is kinda fucked up?” you teased, looking at her with a challenging grin as she leaned back and eyed you in a way that brought color to your cheeks, a pregnant pause on her part before answering “no comment.”, a smugness to her expression that gave away what the actual answer was. 

once the dishes were in front of you, she had a lot of fun getting you to try everything first, she wanted to watch your reaction before joining you in eating, and she was not disappointed, you clearly loved all of it, after a full day of travel a meal like that was exhilarating, the sauces were seasoned just right, thick and savory, the dumplings tasted divine, soft and pillowy, practically melting on your tongue, the iced tea was perfect, a great contrast to the heat of the spicy meal. Tess had a thing for watching you eat, her way of loving you was largely based on wanting you to feel good, in every sense of the word, so seeing you take pleasure in something, whether that be her touch, her words, her attention, or the things she gave you to eat and drink, it all made her feel like she was doing a good job; to her being your lover meant more than just having sex with you or spending time with you, she thought of it as her responsibility to make sure that her presence was actively bettering your life, your well being, so a dinner like that where you said things like “this might be the best meal I´ve had in years” made her heart swell. at her core, Tess wanted to feel like she had a purpose, and despite how closed off she might have seemed to those around her all her life, she´d always been the type to go looking for that kind of fulfillment in devotion to another person, the kind that is so deep and visceral and sacred that it almost seems sacrilegious to speak of it to other people. it seemed unthinkable for her to try and explain to someone else what you meant to her. 

after you both put your utensils down and sipped the rest of your drinks, she had something on her mind, “can I ask you something?”, a gentle tone,“sure yes”. she thought about how to word it for a second, you leaned your head on your hand as you waited for her to speak. “you weren´t with many people before me, right?” you shook your head “no”. you saw no point in lying to her, you wanted her to know you and she was glad that you trusted her. “well, I was just wondering, is it strange for you sometimes, that you´re having these experiences with someone much older? you can be honest with me, really, I can handle it” the seriousness with which she said that touched you, it was clear that she wanted to make sure that you were comfortable, that you knew you could talk to her openly.

 “it´s sweet of you to ask but no, not at all. I was actually thinking about this recently, the fact that I feel more like myself around you than with the people I tried to date in college. it just never clicked, I always felt like I was putting on an act, you know? but with you it was so easy from the beginning. I never felt awkward or weird around you, it was freeing in that way. i mean, it still is, so no, it doesn´t feel strange” she could tell that you meant it and it put her at ease, you played with the straw of your drink as you added “I do sometimes have thoughts about my age too, because I never want you to get bored or anything, since I´m less experienced in many ways”, she sensed that there was a hint of insecurity in there and she was puzzled by it “okay that is nonsense, really. trust me, I have been with “experienced” women and that doesn´t mean shit, some of them had no idea how to treat a partner or how to be a decent person in general. they could learn a thing or two from you, believe me, you´re a dream to be with”, you smiled at her, charmed by that answer, reaching out to caress her forearm, “also, just to add to your question, it should be pretty obvious to you that I don´t care about your age because you´re fucking hot”, she laughed then, shaking her head, flattered by your ever so shameless way of lusting after her “okay, sure, let´s not act like saints here, I also wouldn´t have invited you to my place if I didn´t wanna fuck you”, she said it that way on purpose to mess with you a little, grinning at you as your face briefly got colored in shock. “okay I see, that´s how it is” you responded, but of course you didn´t mind one bit, it felt good to get back into that familiar thing of trying to catch each other off guard with out of pocket comments.

eventually she got the bill, she wouldn´t have let you pay even a fraction of it in a million years, and you both made your way back outside. by that time it was dark and the air had gotten chilly, so she made sure to wrap her arm tightly around you as you walked back to her apartment, but before you could reach her place her attention got caught by something. “oh, I forgot about this place”, you followed her gaze and saw that she was looking at a shop across the street, “they have this really fancy ice cream, it´s a little overprized but worth it. you want some?” she asked, “yeah sure!”. it was hard to pick because the flavors all sounded uniquely delicious, but you eventually settled on salted caramel while she got a dark chocolate raspberry mix, conveniently there was an empty bench right next to the store, so you sat down and got comfortable while tasting the desert and nodding at each other in approval as the intense flavor spread on your tongues. 

“yeah this is it” you said, immediately going in for more. she had her arm behind your back on the bench and watched what was going on around you for a while, before her attention was drawn to your mouth. you had no idea what she was thinking as you licked the ice cream but the sight of your tongue swirling around like that, the undeniable erotic quality of those movements, it made her rethink her attitude towards getting head from you. previously she´d almost always been the giver, you´d gotten her off here and there and you´d made it clear to her that you´d enjoy doing more for her, but she had yet to take you up on the offer, perhaps because she was scared of being vulnerable in that way, but as she kept watching you devour the slowly melting ice cream, your lips glistening from it, she couldn´t help but feel a heat between her legs as she imagined how it would feel to have your tongue on her, to have you savoring her taste. Tess was not one to lose her composure easily but she was getting impatient, she felt a violent need building up inside of her that was bordering on the unbearable, so she cleared her throat before announcing “I think we should go home.”, a weight to the words that made you turn to face her, the moment you locked eyes with her you could tell what she was actually saying, which was I need to get my hands on you right now. so you kept your answer brief “okay” and let her pull you up. 

both of you were quiet and walked significantly faster than earlier, there had been a build-up of desire for weeks, countless dreams of each other, countless hours of aching for each other´s touch, and in that moment it came crashing over both of you in full force. the hours before it had been on a low simmer but in that moment it boiled over and you were struck by a need for each other that was so deep and intense that you almost had trouble breathing as you hurried up the stairs to her apartment. 

the moment the door was shut behind you, she dragged you to her bedroom and you couldn´t help but smile from being wanted that desperately. she barely managed to switch on her bedside lamp before she turned back to you and kissed you hard, her hands on the sides of your face, a whimpering sound from you as you felt your whole body burning up for her; you both started fumbling with each other´s clothes immediately, almost ripping them off until you were left in your underwear, allowing yourselves a moment of admiring the other person´s physique in the dim light, your eyes drawn to her broad shoulders, her strong upper arms, the way her hair was falling down over them in waves, her eyes drawn to your stomach, your hips, that space right above your thighs she was dying to grab. you quickly pulled each other close to kiss again, feverishly and sloppier than before while she pushed you towards the bed, you were grabbing each other all over, wherever your hands landed, a force to the way your fingers dug into each other´s flesh that got you more and more worked up, it was pure bliss to finally have it back, that dizzying passion.

Tess backed you up onto the mattress, you were flat on your back then as she climbed over you and pinned your arms down at your sides, her fresh musky fragrance clouding your mind as you looked up at her and sighed “don´t hold back, please”, she always had to be careful with leaving marks while you were in your hometown, but now you were free, so she lost no time and abandoned restraint, kissing you all over your neck, sucking and biting the soft skin that she´d missed so terribly, your skin various shades of red in certain places, soaking up the sounds you were making, a mix between sighs and moans, not too loud yet but definitely getting there as she moved down to your chest. during the times you´d fucked before you´d always done it in a rush, worried your time was running out, but in that moment it was completely different, after she left your neck raw from having her way with you, you both hastily got rid of your underwear, you climbed on top of her, flush against each other, chest to chest as you made out, her hands roaming all over your body, switching between squeezing and caressing, yours next to her face as you got lost in the heat of the full body contact, the overwhelming sensuality, doing things that you hadn´t thought of doing before, kissing her arm all the way down, taking the time to taste every part of her that you´d spent so much time staring at, which was driving her insane, feeling your soft lips tender on her hand, briefly taking her fingers in your mouth, a low sound of pleasure from her as you messily licked over her stomach, her tits, leaving a trail of spit until you reached her throat and eventually put your lips back to hers, obsecene with it, open mouthed and moaning as your tongues met, your hands in her hair, both moving your hips as you kissed, increasingly desperate to do more, to release the tension that had built up at your core; without even consciously trying to, you ended up in a position that allowed you to rub up against each other, you still on top of her, grinding against her as your wetness mixed with hers and got you both to a point of pathetic whining very quickly, your palms flat on her chest for support as she stared at you in awe, her hands firm at your sides, both of you suddenly overcome with the need to sigh sweet things to each other, a constant echo of, “you´re so pretty” , “I missed you so much”, “you feel so good”, wrapping each other in the comfort of those words as you felt yourselves throbbing from the constant friction, the slick feeling of the other person´s heat against your own, the divine sensation whenever you found just the right angle and rocked back and forth like that, moaning in unison. eventually you locked eyes as you felt that you might cum at the same time, so you leaned down and breathed into each other´s open mouths as you finished, too far gone too kiss properly, remaining like that and clinging to each other out of breath. 

Tess was gripped by the need to have you on her fingers, to feel how soaked you were from the inside, so she pushed you onto the empty space next to her, urging you to lay back and get comfortable as she moved her hand down between your legs and felt how soaked you´d gotten, a breathy, “fuck..” as she used the mess to slick up her fingers, a needy, almost pained sound from you then, “you feel so good” she praised as she slowly pushed two of her fingers into you, addicted to the feeling of your velvety hot flesh as she went knuckle deep, an almost animal-like possessiveness in to her physicality then that rendered you defenseless, entirely at her mercy, trembling with the thrill of being taken by her as she leaned down to kiss your chest, fucking you slowly to really feel it, the way you were throbbing, rocking against her hand. Tess sighed against your skin as she felt you turning into an utter mess for her, “fuck, right there”, you cried as she found the spot she needed to target, your hands gripping the sheets, your head pressed into the pillow as she sucked on your neck and made you almost black out with the double arousal from being both fingered and kissed, both your lower and upper body on fire from the feeling of her all over you, the ache at your core deepening each passing second from her relentless pressure on your sweet spot, your legs wide open for her even though you felt the need to press them together, “always such a good girl for me, hm?” she praised as she saw that you were trying to be easy for her, “so fucking pretty like this”, she knew what her words were capable of doing to you, especially when she kept her voice low and whispery, so she used it to drive you over the edge, her mouth close to your ear, her breath warm against your face as she had you trapped beneath her, working at your throbbing core, feeling you clench around her fingers as she kept whispering to you, about how hot you sounded, how many times she´d fantasized about doing exactly that, how nothing else made her finish lately when touching herself, your nails digging into her back as you felt yourself coming undone, “it´s okay, I got you” she assured as you tried to let go and let yourself cum around her fingers, eventually unable to hold off any longer as the climax shook you to your core, more visceral than the one before, biting down on her shoulder to stifle the sounds, which made her groan in pleasure, the feeling of your teeth digging into her flesh like that, an unexpected thrill to the pain, she´d have let you draw blood if you´d wanted to. for a moment she refused to let go, even though you were clearly spent, and kept her hand on the mess she´d just made, moving her hand up to your clit to tease you during the aftershocks of your orgasm, which you didn´t mind, it felt good, to be overstimulated, to be pushed into a state of total surrender to her touch, her impact, softer and quieter moans from you then as she watched you, mesmerized by the beauty of your face when you were lost in pleasure, “my angel” slipping out of her mouth as you eventually pulled her hand up to lick it clean for her.

once you found your words again you leaned closer to her ear and whispered “tell me what to do, I´ll do whatever you want”, an eagerness to your tone that hit her right where she was weakest. nothing satisfied Tess more than having you surrender to her, having you waiting for her instructions, desperate to please by letting her do whatever she wanted, but in that moment a different urge came over her, she ran her hands up and down your spine as she responded, “you still wanna taste me?”, which made you move your face change in an instant, conveying your clear “yes” with an intense look, it was like she´d awakened a hunger in you that you´d kept at bay, but now that she was giving you the green light, you felt yourself salivating at the thought, “please, yes”. she nodded, giving you a light slap on your thigh, motioning for you to get down to her legs, “go on then”. 

even though you were switching roles of giver and receiver, she was still going to be the dominant one, and you wouldn´t have wanted it any other way. you your placed your hands on her warm thighs as you got down between them, kissing the soft inside at first, the part of her body you´d admired so many times, finally yours, as she leaned back and tried to let go of the slight tension she felt. it was made easy by your tender way of going about it, it turned her on immensely, the contrast of your style versus hers, she knew you needed her to be rough and greedy with it, while you knew that she needed you to be devoted and eager, it got her good, the feeling of looking down at a pretty girl between her legs, visibly aching for her taste. you briefly got lost in the haze of covering her thighs in little kisses and bites, almost worshiping her in a way, but you could feel her growing impatient, her hands moving to your hair as she uttered, “enough teasing, baby”, urging you to give her what she wanted. you kept your hands hooked around her legs as you put your tongue to her cunt, hit by how wet she´d gotten from your fucking before, licking it up in broad strokes before you pushed your face closer, your tongue between her folds then, her grip on you tightening, “that´s it” she praised, “keep going”, so you took the cue and turned it sloppier and more intense, sliding your tongue up and down in a steady rhythm, moving your face with the motions to add more force, “fuck..” you could hear her moan as her head fell back and her back arched up a little, it was completely overwhelming for her in the best sense, she was too prideful to be very loud but she could have moaned pathetically right then if she´d let herself, it had been a while since anyone had eaten her out and you were doing it so passionately, so clearly not just for her pleasure but your own too, that she wondered why the fuck she had denied herself that kind of heaven, her eyes shut, her body on fire, her mind full of only one thought “I love her, I love this girl, I lover her so much”,  a sudden rush of adoration for you that could have made her cry from the overstimulated feelign of being fucked while she felt it; meanwhile you were also weak with the weight of your arousal, you could feel yourself growing wetter and needier as your whole lower face got coated in her cum, it was exactly what you´d dreamed of so many times, to finally return the favor, to show her how good it felt to be taken care of in that way, drunk on the taste of her, knowing that you´d stay down there for hours if she told you to, comforted by the feeling of being trapped between her thighs. 

eventually she could feel a familiar knot tightening at her core and pushed your head further against herself, her fingers rough in your hair, which got a sound out of you that was whiny and pathetic, dumb with lust as you felt her forcing you closer with that move, keeping her hands there and not letting you move an inch as she struggled to remain quiet, “just like that, don´t stop”, the praise was all you needed to get perverse with it, your spit mixed with her juices leaving her skin and yours a total mess as you devoured her, switching from licking to sucking on her clit to give her a final push, an immediate low groan leaving her lips, breathless by that point, her hips moving upward as she felt the beginning of an orgasm spreading through her whole body, building up to a hard release as you kept your lips on her, nails digging into her flesh as you let her rock against your face as hard as she wanted, soaking up every little noise she made as she came, every move of her muscles, high on the knowledge that it was your doing, her unraveling. once she was left slack and intensely flushed, you slowly moved your face away and gave her thigh a last indulgent bite before moving up to look at her, your hand on her chest as you laid down next to her, the room silent except for your shared attempt to breathe steadily again. a few moments later a smile spread across her tired face, turning her face to see your prideful expression. 

“you´re a freak, hm?” she teased, brushing a strand of hair out of your sweat-stricken face. “oh, you´re just now noticing?” you said, grinning at her, “maybe. I should´ve let you do that sooner, god..”, she shook her head, still coming down from the high you just gave her, gazing up at the ceiling for a moment as you traced patterns on her skin with your index finger, staring at her in awe, the blush on her cheeks, her messed up hair. “hm, agree. but you know, we can make up for lost time this week”, she nodded, “oh, we will, yes.”, moving her body over to trap you, her arms by your sides then, looking down at you before kissing you, not a care in the world about the fact that she could taste herself on your lips, covering your face in kisses, eliciting quiet sighs and giggles from you. after she pulled back she put her hand flat on your slightly bruised chest,“we should take a shower, I think”.“we?” you asked, in slight disbelief over the fact that she was willing to be that vulnerable; fucking was one thing, getting cleaned up together was another, and it was true, usually Tess did not do that with the women she was seeing, but she could not stand the idea of leaving you in her room as she showered, or waiting for you as you did, it was different with you. “yes, we, I´m not done with this yet”, she said while gesturing at your exposed form, so you smiled “okay, come on then”, still somewhat weak as you peeled yourself off of the bed and waited for her to lead the way.

Tess´s bathroom was tiled in a dark green color, so at night it had a cozy and slightly cave-like feeling , as opposed to the white tiled ones you were used to, you noticed this as she turned on the shower and made sure the temperature was fine, before you both got in and stood facing each other, your hands loosely resting on each other´s waists, barely a few inches apart. 

a few seconds after the hot water started running down your skin, it hit you both at the same time, that getting showering together was somehow more exposing than having sex because your bodies weren´t in motion or in a particularly sexy pose, you were both just standing there, vulnerable, your bodies visible for what they were in their natural state. Tess could tell that you shared some of her sudden shyness and got an idea, before you could reach for any body wash, she did it herself and told you “turn around, let me do that for you, baby”, which she didn´t have to say twice. she put some product in her hands and rubbed them together to create some foam before gently moving her palms over your back, lightly kissing your shoulder for a second, and you could feel yourself relaxing into her touch immediately. the vaguely citrusy and herbal scent started mixing with the steam of the water and gave the shower a spa like feeling, she moved her hands all over you in deliberate gentle motions, enjoying the sensation of your soft skin coated in the creamy soap, almost hypnotized by it, she could have kept doing that for a while, so she made a mental note of offering you a massage sometime. “that feels nice” you sighed as you leaned back against her a little, and she couldn´t help but move her hands to your chest then to pull you even closer, her hands briefly over your tits, the hint of a moan leaving you then, which didn´t escape her, so she kept her fingers there for a moment, a smile on your face as your head rested against her shoulder, “I think I´ll pass out if you actually try to do anything right now”, your body was already exhausted from before and you felt the heat sinking into your limbs, leaving you relaxed but also hot enough to a point where you suspected that extreme arousal might actually make you lose consciousness. Tess smiled too then, “well we don´t want that, do we”, but as she said that you abruptly turned around and put your hands on her neck, staring at her as you pressed yourself against her to transfer some of the soap onto her, the feeling of it somehow more intense than you both expected, being chest to chest while water and foam were slicking you up, so you leaned in to kiss her, only briefly, but she pulled you back in the moment she could feel space between your lips again, she had no desire to stop as she felt you submitting to her force but it didn´t take long for her to lose her breath, so you both ended up standing there panting, desperate for air because the room was all fogged up. 

both of you laughed then, “we´re fucking losing it” you said, hugging her as you closed your eyes and felt her wet chest against yours, “yeah I´m done for, we need to get out before we overheat and die”, so you both rinsed off together and stepped out, wrapping yourselves in big towels.

as you dried off and stood on the shower mat, your gaze fell to the sink, “two toothbrushes?” you exclaimed, exaggerating a scandalized tone, “is this the point where you confess to me that you´ve had a girlfriend all along?”. Tess shook her head, “yeah you figured it all out, I´m just using you to cheat, sorry” her tone dripping in irony, you couldn´t help but smile then as she pointed at what you were referring to, “that´s a fresh one for you, genius, because I know how easy it is to forget shit like that”. of course she was right, you could recall countless times of cursing yourself for not having packed something small but important like deodorant or toothpaste and you were charmed by her considerate ways, the idea of her wondering what you might need before you´d come to her place.“that´s really cute, thank you” but ,as always, she didn´t wanna hear it, so you quietly joined her by the sink and kept looking at her with soft eyes as you both brushed your teeth. Tess was facing the mirror but she could feel your gaze on her side profile and let herself enjoy it, not turning to you, just soaking up that quiet moment of intimacy, the sensation of having your undivided loving attention.

once you were both dressed in comfortable nightwear and back in bed you couldn´t help but smile to yourself as got comfortable under the covers, you were content to your core, thrilled by the fact that you were finally gonna sleep next to her again. you felt a delicious sense of satisfaction over the fact that nobody had any idea what you were doing, that it was your secret, in a sense it made you feel powerful, to have your joy all to yourself like that, without any witnesses but her. Tess looked down at you, pride bubbling up in her over the fact that you clearly loved your situation, “happy?”, she asked, knowing the answer, you nodded, moving yourself closer to her, “yeah this is perfect. god this mattress is like a cloud, my bed is not nearly this nice”, she smiled, her hand on top of the blanket that you´d pulled up to your shoulders, “well, I have a hot tip for you then, when you eventually get your own place, splurge on your bed instead of fancy decoration or furniture. trust me, your back will start hurting soon enough”. you laughed, “okay, noted. sweet of you to assume I´ll make enough money to have my own apartment, with the housing market as it is.. let's see about that one”, she smiled, “you have a point, yes. but I have faith, if everything fails, something tells me you won´t have trouble finding some older richer woman to take you in”, you joined in on the joke, “right, I´m getting great practice here. except for the rich part of course”.

she leaned down to kiss you, more tenderly than before, light kisses that didn´t burn but calm you, she liked having you under her, so she stayed like that for a moment until she got more comfortable next to you, sinking further down into her pillow. you remembered something then.

“I saw a book on your nightstand earlier”, “yes..” she said, a hint of apprehension in there, “what is it?” you asked, looking at her expectantly. “I actually haven't picked it up in ages”, her tone less unwavering than usual, “yes, I´m listening”, you could tell she was dodging the question. “okay but don´t you dare laugh”. “laugh?? what.. is it some trashy romance novel? weird erotica?”, she shoved your arm then, “no! is that what you think of me? really?”, you shrugged, “hey I have no idea what you´re into”. you were expecting something embarrassing but it turned out to be the exact opposite. she reached over to grab the book, holding it out to you so you could read the title yourself, you recognized the name on the cover. “Mary Oliver? you think I´d make fun of you for reading one of the best poets of all time? Tess come on, do you think I´m an asshole?”, she was relieved, for some reason she´d felt shy about admitting a more private interest of hers to you, “no of course not, I don´t know. I guess it just doesn´t really fit my image, does it?”, “your image? you really don´t want people to know you feel things deeply, hm? a bit too late with me, hate to break it to you, love”, she smiled then, at the casual use of the word “love”, and because it was true, there was no need to pretend around you, you´d already seen her at her most romantic and vulnerable, so she opened up a little. “it´s actually the one book I´ve had the longest. one day when I was in my late 20s I was going through it, like truly the worst fucking day ever, and for some reason ended up in a bookstore. I was just browsing, kind of losing my mind, and then came across this collection. I guess I liked that the poems were hopeful without being corny or overwrought. I kept going back to it whenever I was kind of.. I don´t know, lost?”. you gave that confession a few moments of respectful silence before saying, “that´s really sweet”. it was touching to you, that she was so shy about the fragile parts of herself, the ones that she had probably kept to herself for most of her life, concealed by her very convincingly tough aura.

“actually, could you maybe read me some of those”, you asked her, which made her turn to face you again, “what, like a bedtime story?” slightly confused, “no, just.. I like your voice. I like hearing you speak”. “yeah I am well aware, ever since a certain phone call a few weeks ago” she said with a smug expression, “oh shut up, this isn´t about that, I am trying to be sincere. I am asking you to read to me because I-” you almost slipped up and said “because I love you”, you saved yourself before the words could come out, but your abrupt pause was a giveaway, she knew what you´d thought, and it hit her, but she let it go, though she wouldn´t forget it, “because it would soothe me” you said instead. “okay, okay let me see if I can find some favorites. come over here” she said, pulling you closer, your head against her side then as she had put her arm around your back. 

“I don´t have any practice of course, so bear with me” she prefaced, but the moment she read the first few words out loud, you were sucked into it immediately, the slow rhythm of it, the humm in her chest that you could feel because you were pressed against her, the deliberate pauses she made, it was deeply relaxing to listen to, so you closed your eyes. after a few verses she stopped, unsure if you´d want her to continue, but you urged her “hm you´re good at this, go on”, so she did, remembering the parts of certain poems she´d held close to her heart when she was younger, a sweet contrast, to be sharing something with a lover that she´d often turned to when she had been at her loneliest. a few minutes in, Tess could feel your drifting off, your breathing became slower and your head became heavier, so eventually she quietly put the book down and stayed like that, her fingers lightly running up down your spine as you fell asleep in her embrace. for a while she did not allow herself to move because she loved the feeling of having you nestled against her like that, but eventually her eyes got heavy and she switched off her bedside lamp, moving herself down to lay her head near yours, your breath warm against her face as she joined you in a dreamless sleep. 

all the intense impressions from the day before had made it so that you both slept through the night without any interruptions, so by the time you first woke up the next day it was already around 9 am. for a while you laid there half-conscious, sprawled out comfortably over her large bed, your arms stretched out on either side, which eventually signaled to you that you were alone. reliably, Tess had gotten up before you, you were well aware by then that she was not the type to sleep in late, even on her off days, so you forced yourself to wake up for good and join her. 

as you walked into the living room, slightly self-conscious about your disheveled appearance, she had her back turned because she was busy with the coffee machine, so a few seconds into watching her you cleared your throat, a bright smile on your face as she turned around, “oh hey! perfect timing, I just got done with this” she said, pointing at the table. the first thing that caught your eye was a vase filled with beautiful flowers, the kind that almost looked like they grew in the wild, dainty but colorful, shades of lilac and pink, they hadn´t been there the day before. “wow, those are stunning. wait, you were outside already?”, you asked, she nodded as she came over to you and gave you a light kiss on the cheek before urging you to sit down with her, “yeah, I wanted to make this a little nicer than just.. you know boring old toast. we have this bakery around here, I don´t often get stuff for myself but I thought you´d like it. oh and these yeah, I recall you liking flowers so, they stood out to me”. she said it all so nonchalantly but it was really special to you, that she´d gone out of her way to do all that because you´d have been fine with much less, you still felt a bit of sleep in your eyes as you looked at what was in front of you, “drink something first” she ordered, pointing at the three glasses of water, juice, and coffee in front of you, so you did, as she went on to explain what she´d bought. “okay, so, this one is a croissant with pistachio filling, it´s kind of what they´re known for, but I really like the white and dark chocolate swirl one so if you want we can share”, you agreed, watching her rip them both in two, placing the halves on your plate and watching you closely as you tried them, “oh wow, that´s fucking good” you said as the intense sweet flavor hit your tongue, she leaned back, satisfied, successful in her attempt to start your day off in an ideal way. 

“you know, it´s kind of unfair that you always get dressed before me” you bemoaned, gesturing at her outfit as you both ate, “you always look better than me in the morning”, she shook her head, her mouth still half full as she mumbled “bullshit. that´s your warped perception, trust me, most people would prefer waking up to that” a wave of her hand in your direction as she said this. “well, not everyone has good taste, so” you joked, grinning at her, “right, and you do?”, she couldn´t deny that it felt good to be accused of upstaging you in the looks department even thought she vehemently disagreed. “clearly, look at this, I´m spoiled as hell”, she couldn´t really argue with that, still, she wondered if you actually thought you looked worse than her in that moment, because she had a hard time keeping herself from letting you finish your meal uninterrupted. she´d have liked to go over to you to slip her hand under your shirt, to feel your skin that was still warm from sleep. 

for a while you both leisurely emptied your plates and cups and talked about whatever came to mind, enjoying the feeling of a slow summer morning, of sharing a domestic kind of intimacy. “so, what are we doing today?” you asked her eventually, eager to do whatever she wanted, your eyes glimmering with excitement at the thought of still having the whole day ahead of you. “well, I have an idea, but I´m gonna need you to hear me out...” she seemed slightly unsure, so you wondered what was gonna come “sure, tell me”. “okay, so, about 45 minutes outside of the city there´s this really beautiful hike but not the boring kind, trust me, it´s not just an endless fucking trail, it´s this forest landscape with a bunch of little rivers and a lake, I went there a lot when I was younger, and since it´s a weekday I doubt we´d run into many people. also-” you interrupted her then, “you don´t have to convince me Tess, I´m down, let´s do it. do you think I´m that unathletic, that I´m scared of a hike?” you said, smiling and giving her a questioning look, she smiled too then, “well I guess I´ll see what we´re working with once we´re there, right?”. “you´re scared you´ll have to carry me once I get tired, huh?” you teased, “oh, you´d like that wouldn´t you” she said, “probably yeah. but don´t worry, I´ll manage. in fact, maybe I´ll have to support you in the end, you know, since you´re..”, “old?” she finished the sentence for you, acting offended, “I´m not 70 sweetie, so let´s see who has to take a break first” she challenged you, leaning forward as she said it, you returned the energy, “won´t be me”, even though you knew she could probably triumph over you in terms of endurance, something told you she wasn´t the type to ever admit that she felt weak, both emotionally and physically. 

after breakfast you spent some time on the couch, you half on her lap, her hands on you, a soft lazy exchange of touches and kisses until it was around 11:00 and you mustered up the energy to get ready as well. 

by noon you were in her car, sharing a bottle of ice cold water because it was already warming up by that hour, the windows down and the radio playing as you found all kinds of things to talk about: classes you were gonna take in the new year, jokes from her side about you probably being a teacher´s pet considering you talent for charming people her age, you grilling her about details from work, gossip she could share, trying but failing to get her to spill some stuff about exes of hers, whether you fit her usual type, if she even had one, but Tess was steadfast in her refusal to share any of that, leaving you to tease her with speculations like “I bet there was some hot intern at work you had a thing with. maybe you fucked in the office or something, is that it?” until you reached your destination and quit the banter. 

she hadn´t over-promised, the area was absolutely stunning; trees as tall as buildings as far as the eye could reach. you were at the beginning of a path that had a slow incline and would lead you to the top of a hill, the thick row of trees would offer enough shade for it to be an enjoyable hike and the little patches of flowers and plants you had never seen before offered enough to keep your eyes busy. 

the first half hour passed very quickly, both you and Tess kept pointing out things to each other, stopping every now and then to inspect certain kinds of berries of particularly colorful kinds of flowers, her teasing you by ripping out some leaves and running them over your skin to catch you off guard with the sensation, getting a high pitched squeal out of you that made her bend over in laughter and earned her a kick to the shin from you. you liked watching her as you made your way deeper into the forest, it was hot to you, seeing her physically exhaust herself, her leg muscles straining whenever there was a steepness to your path, her breath heavier, her face dewy from the heat, she could feel your eyes on her as you went a little quiet and she liked it, knowing that you were checking her out, so eventually she stopped, leading you to a tree and backing you up against it as she grinned at you, waiting for you to follow your instinct, which you immediately did, pulling her in for a kiss as she slid her hands under your shirt and enjoyed the thrill of feeling you up in public, kissing your neck as you felt the bark of the tree against your head, your hair getting caught as you shut your eyes and sighed from the sensation of her sucking on the skin right above your collarbone until she pulled away and left you flushed and disheveled, acting all innocent as she said “shall we continue?” pointing at the path and walking away from you, a shake of your head as you tried to slow your breathing and to forget about the fact that for a second there you´d hoped that she might actually fuck you in public. one day, you thought, one day she´ll cave and do it.

about an hour in, you both felt a rush of gratitude as you reached an area that made you gasp in awe, “oh wow”, you said, as you looked at a river that was wide enough to swim in, a truly picturesque scene, and because you were both sweating and ready for a break by that point, you looked at each and realized that you were thinking the same thing. “should we?...” you asked, pointing at the river, Tess thought about it, “god that would feel so good right now, wouldn´t it? you know what, let´s do it, we can go in our underwear, it´ll dry fast if we sit there for a few minutes after”. “oh I was just talking about taking our shoes off and getting our legs in there” you said, surprised by her bold idea. “oh no, all or nothing baby. come on, it´ll be fun” she nudged you playfully, so you gave in because it did sound delicious in that moment, to cool your hot body, the sound of the rushing water practically luring you in. “alright, fuck it, let´s do it” you put your bag down and unzipped your shorts as she did the same. 

as you stood there after getting rid of your shirt, Tess leered at you, pointing at your bra “I think you should take that off too” a smug grin on her face, you put your hand on your hip and raised your eyebrows, “right, so some stranger who is walking by can creep on me?”, she shook her head, grinning, “no. so I can creep on you.” emphasis on the I as she pointed at herself. you suppressed a smile and challenged her, “I´ll do it if you do it”. Tess sometimes forgot that you admired her body the same way she did yours, so your request surprised her but she just shrugged, “sure, okay”, moving her hands to her back to free herself of the last piece of fabric on her upper body, you doing the same thing, slightly shy once you were left topless, your hands over your tits as you looked at the water, dipping a toe in to gauge the temperature.

“oh fuck thats cold” you cold feel goosbumps forming on your skin and she was definitely bolder than you, immediately wading into the water, knee deep within seconds, braving through the initial shock, teeth clenched until she got over it, waving you in, her body mesmerizing, strong and almost god-like in the light of the midday sun. “come on, its fine, you can do it” she encouraged, endeared by the way you held your body then, arms clasped around yourself for comfort. you tensed up as you took a few steps in, Tess lowered herself in the meantime, submerging her whole body except for her head in the cool waves, “trust me sweetheart, this feels great”, so you just took the final step and mirrored what she was doing, a gasp as you felt the cold all over your skin, a few seconds of discomfort until you felt the utter satisfaction of being one with the elements like that on a warm summer day. “come here”, she ordered, so you swam over to her, feeling her pull you closer underwater, your hands around her neck then, your legs loosely wrapped around her back as you both stayed like that for a moment, the water running over you in a steady stream, the sound of birds and rustling leaves hanging in the air, a scene straight of of an Impressionist painting, shades of green and blue all around, accents of reflected sunlight on the surface of the river, you right in the middle, it was like you were truly outside of your lives for a moment, which was visible on your faces before you leaned in and kissed. 

after a while you pulled back and felt the sudden urge to try and push her underwater, so you put your arms on her exposed shoulders and applied some force but she just looked at you, patient, smiling, unaffected, “nice try” she uttered, somewhat condescending; she was clearly not going to be overpowered and you knew it but it was a thing you liked to do sometimes, testing her strength to get a little turned on by how impossible it was to match it. eventually, you gave up but before you could think about swimming away she did what you had tried to do but she did it successfully, pushing you under the surface, not too hard but keeping her hands on your head for a few seconds as you shut your eyes and felt the silence of being totally engulfed by water, a feeling you hadn´t experienced in years, which admittedly wasn´t all that unpleasant. after she let go and you came back up for air you immediately splashed water onto her face, shaking your head as you wiped your eyes and adjusted your soaking wet hair. “you know” you said, staring at her, out of breath, “you could fully drown me right now and nobody would ever know. I didn´t tell a soul I´m here, so, you could get away with it”, she was moving her arms through the water in a soothing motion as she returned your look, amused by your strange remark, “well fuck, you got me. this whole thing was just an elaborate scheme to get you out here and kill you”, you kept standing where you were, water dripping down your chest as you responded “yeah I figured, that´s your thing right?. kidnapping fantasies”, she shook her head, “okay easy, a little too far”, but you weren´t done yet, “no? you don´t like that? thinking about tying me up and-”. before you could even finish the sentence she pulled you down and put her hand over your mouth to shut you up “okay, you´re fucking insane”. Tess reacted that way partially because you´d struck a cord, she didn´t have violent sexual fantasies but she did like the idea of restraining you, which got her riled up as you joked about it.

the whole ordeal ended in you both being half submerged in the waves and laughing, holding hands as you both laid down on your backs to float on the water, the sun warming your front side as the river cooled the back, a delicious contrast, about fifteen minutes of peaceful silence and bliss, your fingers interlaced so you wouldn´t drift away from each other, more relaxed than you could remember being in ages. 

after you got out of the water you laid down in the grass by the shore, waiting for your skin to dry off before you could get dressed again, the breeze gently caressing your nearly nude bodies. 

eventually you both sat upright, looking around at the scenery as you started talking again. 

“can I ask you something personal?” you said after a while, your head resting on your knees as you looked at her from the side, Tess was ripping out single strands of grass absentmindedly as she looked back at you, “another question about perverted kinks I might have?”, you laughed, rolling your eyes at her, “no.”, “go on then”. “did you ever consider the whole getting married and having kids thing? when you were younger I mean”. 

Tess had a joke on her tongue about not being the type of woman that people would love to bring home to their parents, but she decided to be earnest, sensing that you were actually interested. “kids definitely not. and marriage, hm.. well, when I was in my 20s I was busy just surviving and figuring my shit out, so I never thought about it back then, but sure, when I was in my 30s and people around me started having kids and settling down, it did cross my mind sometimes. but if I´m being totally honest, I think that wouldn´t have been the right way for me. maybe if I´d met the right person, but not a huge white wedding..” she shook her head at the thought, you were listening with deep interest, “maybe an elopement or something, I do like that idea. but also, I witnessed a good amount of nasty divorces in my time, truly awful shit, so I think this is actually a pretty fortunate situation to be in at my age” she motioned back and forth between you two, smiling conspiratively, you nodded, returning the smile. “that makes sense, I mean look at my parents.. that shit was not good”, she made a sound of agreement “yeah exactly. but what about you?”, she leaned closer then, tapping your leg. “me?”, “yes, what´s your stance on all that, you´re young, you still have time”. you sat up then, leaning back on your hands, staring off into the distance as you thought about it. “god I don´t know...”, Tess was still looking at you, “well I think you´re gonna make some lucky woman lose her fucking mind”, she chimed in, you stared at her then, “stop, no, I´m with you right now and I like it this way, I don´t want to imagine some potential future wife”. it struck Tess then that she´d implied the obvious, that you two were not going to be with each other for decades to come, so she softened a little as she realized that you did not like that thought at all, turning to humor to lighten the mood again. “well, you know, if your dad is still single then, I´ll make him take me as his plus one to your wedding.” your expression lightened then, touching her thigh for emphasis as you said, “well, if you want me to cheat on my wife on our wedding day, sure, go ahead and do that”. Tess pulled you towards her then, kissing your cheek before you laid your head on her chest, “sure, if you ever need a reason to break off an engagement, just call me, I´ll come be your homewrecker”. 

a while later you both felt your bodies growing weaker from the heat of the sun and lack of food, so you made your way back down the trail and stopped at a place to eat lunch. not many words were exchanged during that meal because you were both starving and recovering from moving around way than you usually do in a day. by the time you were back in her apartment she announced, “okay, either I´ll have to make myself the strongest coffee ever or we have to take a nap. you decide”, it was an easy decision, “yeah, let´s sleep for a while I´m exhausted”. 

as she laid down on the couch you went over to her record collection and looked for something that would be soothing as background music, something that could lull you to sleep. she had at least 40 records to choose from, all kinds of genres, mostly from the 70s to 90s but also some modern ones you recognized.“this is impressive” you marveled, as you turned some of them over, inspecting the slightly aged but beautiful covers, Tess already had her eyes closed and felt herself drifting off as she said “thank you. I mean, I´ve had some time to collect those, I think I got the first one at least 25 years ago”, you smiled to yourself then and couldn´t help but say what was on your mind, “so some of these are older than me huh?”, you could hear a groan from across the room, “oh that´s just perfect, really, very romantic of you. how about you pick one and get over here already”, she responded, unwilling to admit that she liked your teasing, so you made your choice and let some soft tune play as you laid down on top of her, her arms around your back, the side of your face positioned on her in a way that allowed you to hear her heartbeat. 

it was a sweet feeling, to lay there with the balcony door cracked, a soft gust of wind every once in a while as you drifted in and out of sleep for about an hour, until you were both awake again but didn´t move yet, enjoying the quiet intimacy of the moment, because it was all you´d wanted for so long, to have the luxury of time, to spend some of it in comfortable silence, only communicating via light touches and caresses. 

later that day you went outside one more time to go stock up on groceries for the week, Tess urging you to get whatever you might want to have at hand in the following days, asking you about which of her ideas for dinner you liked best, so you ended up spending a lot of time just walking around the isles and figuring out each other´s tastes, scanning the liquor shelves together to decide on what would be best to share on her balcony later. it hit you while watching her prepare dinner that night, not on your phone at all during that hour because you loved watching her move around the kitchen, that it felt like you´d lived together for a while, since it all fell into place so naturally. you tried to remain in the present moment but there was a slight pain you felt in your chest whenever you remembered that your situation was only temporary, that you hadn´t actually moved in with her, that you were a guest and would not get the chance to spend that many days in a row together again for a good while. Tess had similar thoughts as she felt you admiring her from across the room, pushing up her sleeves on purpose to show off her arms as she worked her way through the recipe. it was in her nature, that deep desire to center her life around someone else, to devote her energy and time to the needs of another person, she´d never loved living on her own even though she let other believe that she did, it gave her too much time to talk down on herself, to obsess over her shortcomings, to sit with herself long enough to get tired of her mind and go to sleep much earlier than needed. Tess did not thrive in isolation, she needed her alone time and space to unwind, certainly, but that night it was so clear to her, that she was meant to share her life with someone, that she was never happier than when she could tell that another woman was glad to be in her presence, glad to be taken care of by her, that she wanted to live with someone, with you, and would miss having you there quite intensely once you´d have to leave. thankfully, you both got yourselves out of that mood rather quickly once she was done cooking and you helped her set the table, a simple thing, yet so delightful to you, the sight of two plates, two glasses, the reminder that you were part of a union now. 

you ate dinner on the balcony and spent another hour after that sipping on the drinks you´d bought earlier, a few candles on the table, the faint sound of people on the street below you, an atmosphere that made it very easy to forget the time and stay there together on the wooden bench you´d put a blanket over until it was about 11:30 pm, your eyes getting heavy from the booze and the outdoorsy activities earlier that day. for a moment you both rested against each other out there, almost falling asleep because the night air was the perfect temperature, but eventually you both managed to go brush your teeth and fall into bed, heavy and satisfied as she pushed you over to be big spoon, the warmth of her body against your back enough to make you fall asleep within minutes, comforted by her grip on you, even when she was exhausted, that same firmness to her touch, her determination to have you as close as possible.

the next day Tess was clear about the fact that she´d have to show you all her favorite spots downtown, after spending the day before outside of the city, so she took you to two cafes, one for the sake of the coffee the other for the sake of their lunch options, so up until 2 pm you were busy just sitting around in the sun, trying all of her usual orders, approving of them, a little jealous that she had access to that many nice spots, you could imagine studying in those cafes for hours. “maybe during finals season you can come visit for a weekend, I can watch you do that” she joked as you told her that, “you´d like that? just watching me type on my fucking laptop?”, she shrugged, smiling as she ripped a piece off the pastry you were sharing, “I´d enjoy watching you do pretty much anything, sweetheart. also yes, I think it would be hot, you being a nerd right in front of me”, teasing you a little, “my grades aren´t high enough to qualify as nerdy I fear”, she pretended to be shocked, “no? well, we can work on that”, “we? you´d help me how exactly?”, “I don´t know. quiz you, promise you a gift for when you come back with perfect scores”, “okay, I do like the sound of that.”.

that day was a little fresher than the day before so at night you had the idea of taking a bath together, which quickly taught you the lesson that sex underwater only sounded good in theory and was a mess in practice, so you settled on sitting across from each other in the tub with your legs touching, every now and then leaning in to kiss, you putting your lips to her knee after, which was an unexpected tenderness that hit her right at her core, the sight of you bending your head down to places a few soft kisses on her leg. 

on your fourth day with her, it rained from morning til night, so it was an easy decision to stay in bed til noon, to be lazy and stay in your loungewear and order take out, putting on a film while relaxing in the living room as it kept pouring outside, chatting about anything and everything, coaxing more and more personal information out of each other, longer, more intimate stories about your lives, passing the time on the couch, switching between various states of undress, paying no attention to what was playing on the TV. later that night you both got the sudden urge to go outside and get a drink, so you put on some nice clothes, stood in the bathroom together as you fixed your hair and felt a shared giddiness over the prospect of walking arm in arm to the bar she´d picked out, the streets still smelling of wet earth, the moon almost full, people hurrying to their dinner dates or back home, that buzz of the night time in a bigger city. you´d both come to realize that you shared a love for date nights, the cozy darkness, the intimate feeling of sitting in the corner of a crowded room somewhere at that hour, slightly buzzed, faces flushed, hands innocently resting on each other´s thighs as you spoke, you´d both miss it, having a reason to randomly step out of the house at 10pm. you´d miss the feeling of walking up the stairs together a few hours later, tipsy, laughing at each other for almost missing a step and stumbling, grabbing each other´s arms for support. it was a light, effortless kind of joy that made you glow, your faces permanently stuck in a smile while you washed your faces together and helped each other out of your clothes, clumsily feeling each other up before you fell into a deep sleep. 

on Friday you were ready to move around again after you spent majority of the day before being lazy, so you did whatever came to mind as you walked around the city together. after spending some time at the local park and getting lunch, you came across a pretty large thrift store and decided to just take a look around, but it quickly turned into you getting an idea: you wanted to find her clothes you thought she´d look hot in, so you picked a few shirts here and there, both longsleeve and shortsleeve, a jacket you thought that would suit her, until she eventually told you to slow down with the makeover quest, amused by your enthusiasm over styling her. it moved her in a way, to see that you knew her well enough by then to skip over any clothes that were too feminine, briefly wandering over the the men´s section to check out the bigger vintage tees, it contrasted the feeling she´d often had as a young girl, being pressured by others to dress more like a “lady”, something was healing about it, to have you picking out styles for her that actually matched her taste.

she was reluctant at first but after enough begging and kissing her she gave in and changed into some of the things you´d handed to her, unable to deny that you had an eye for her physique and what would suit her, what she´d feel comfortable in. you practically gawked at her as she looked at herself in the mirror. “you know, maybe I fucked up here, you look a little too good, I don´t want other girls to start hitting on you” you mused, your eyes traveling up and down her body, which got a laugh out of her, “I think you need to chill a little with all that praise, I´ll start believing you eventually” she wasn´t going to admit it, but she did enjoy it, the fact that you never held back with compliments, that you almost made her feel shy or blush at times, which was something that usually never happened to her.  “well you should, I´m not just being nice” you insisted, as she came over to you and let you inspect her from up close, “you know, I also have some ideas for things I´d like to see you in” she said, a smile as she lightly traced your bare arm with her fingers, “oh you don´t have to convince me, I´ll try on whatever you want” you said, a smugness to your expression, “anything?”, you nodded, “hm, good to know”, her tone gave away what she was thinking. “what kind are you into? lace? satin? see through?”, she shook her head, not expecting that bold of an answer but enjoying the back and forth, “I´m not telling you that”, “you should buy me something”, you said, batting your eyelashes at her, “buy you lingerie? you want the sugar mommy thing, is that it?” she teased, “jesus how do you even know what that is Tess..” you said, slightly unnerved, which was funny to her, “baby I´m not ancient, I know things. but sure, yes, I will gladly buy you something pretty, although I only really give a fuck about what´s underneath”. 

the rest of that day passed very quickly, the way the whole week had, by Saturday morning you couldn´t believe that you´d already spent that much time at her place because it felt like you´d just arrived the day before, like you were at the beginning of your stay, but to your dismay, it was already coming to an end. 

the days before Tess had been the chef for dinner or you´d gone out to eat, so for your final night at her place you decided that you´d prepare her something. there was a pasta dish that you´d perfected over the years because it was your comfort meal, so you told her to sit back and relax as you assembled all the ingredients you´d need, but she wouldn´t, she leaned against the kitchen counter instead and watched you, enthralled by the sight of you carefully picking herbs off their stems, tasting the sauce over and over to get it to the exact spice level you wanted it, your face shiny from the effort, your cheeks flushed from the steam of the pasta water, all of it turned her on but she tried her best to not get in your way and touch you too much, only giving you the occasional hug from behind here there, whispering sweet things about how good you looked working with your hands, breaking a sweat. 

one thing that you´d done the entire week was to switch between sitting across from each other and next to each other during meals at home because both of the options had their own appeal; sitting next to each other was sweet and intimate, legs touching as you ate, easy access, stealing touches here and there, sitting across from each other was sexier and more charged, since that´s the way you´d sit on a first date, that unavoidable eye contact, the almost confrontational nature of being in your direct line of sight, the ability to lean back and steal glances while the other person wasn´t aware of your gaze, or pretended not to be because it felt good to be looked at like that. 

on that last night, you sat across from each other, inside because the weather had gotten a little too fresh to eat on the balcony. as soon as Tess took the first bite, you realized that you liked it a lot, the roles being reversed, you watching closely for her reaction, hoping for signs of pleasure, which came, an approving nod from her as soon as she swallowed, “no notes”, she said, smiling, charming you, a satisfied look on your face as you joined her in eating. what Tess didn´t know, was that you´d picked up on certain preferences of hers over the week, so you´d added things to the sauce you usually wouldn´t have added, because it was more important to you that it would be to her exact taste, you couldn´t haven cared less about your own feelings about the meal, which was a beautiful thing, to be so preoccupied with pleasing someone else that you forgot about yourself in the process. you could understand why she was always so eager to be of service, you saw the appeal as you watched her clear the plate, not leaving one piece of the pasta untouched. 

after you were both done, Tess quickly realized that she didn´t want to waste any of the remaining hours you had left being unable to touch you, so she suggested that you should move to the couch, grabbing some chocolate from the kitchen, breaking a part off to offer it to you as a palette cleanser before getting comfortable next to you. by then, you knew how you liked to sit together when you wanted to talk properly, your legs on her lap, her hand on your thigh as you sat there, eyeing each other until you broke the silence. “I can´t believe this already our last night..” your tone quiet and earnest, she nodded, “yeah, me neither. feels like it has only been a day or two, honestly, the time passed way too fucking quickly” you cracked a smile then, moving some of her hair out of the way to place your hand on her neck, a lovestruck look. 

during the week neither of you brought it up because it would have been a mood killer but since it was the end of the week Tess felt comfortable asking you “so uhm. did he reach out to you at all while you were here?”, apprehension in there, you knew of course who the “he” in question was. a shake of your head, “no, thank god. probably because I told him I´d call this weekend, I guess I´ll do that tomorrow”. she nodded, absentmindedly caressing you, “hm, good, that´s good. didn´t hear from him either. be honest, did it cross your mind at all?” she genuinely wanted to know if you´d just been good at bluffing or if you´d actually forgotten about the potential horror of being found out by him during your stay with her.

 you thought about it, “surprisingly no, I didn´t think about it, at least not consciously. I guess because I was just glad we had this time to ourselves and I really didn´t want to ruin it for myself by worrying” she agreed, “yeah same for me, I kind of forgot about it til just now to be honest” you shared a moment of silence, contemplating the issue. “looks like we´re both great at compartmentalizing hm?”, you joked, grinning at her, Tess couldn´t help but laugh then, “you´re not wrong there, we´re pretty fucking shameless if you really think about it. the next time he calls me I´ll make small talk and act like I didn´t just spend the week…”, “fucking his daughter?” you completed the thought for her, purposely putting it that way. Tess shoved you then, pretending to be scandalized, “wow, you have such a way with words. I was gonna say that I spent the week having the time of my life” she countered, exaggerating a little, trying to get you to feel bad about your crass comment but you knew her too well, “bullshit, you didn´t wanna say that”, she nodded, amused, “maybe, but it´s true. besides, you´re right in the sense that that is of course the one thing he´d focus on. jesus…”.

you could tell that she was getting sucked into a spiral that she´d managed to stay out of all week, so you leaned closer and took her face in your hands, your tone gentle and sweet, “hey, it´s fine, relax” placing a few kisses on her face before reminding her “he won´t find out, no way. how would he?”. she couldn´t argue with that, you´d both been careful and you were both more than decent liars, so she relaxed again, soothed by your touch. “right, yes. but still, we´re kind of fucking insane for this” she could smile again by then, you did too, only shrugging in response, not a care in the world over potential danger, you were simply too happy. she gave you a kiss then, a proper one, to forget all about the previously discussed subject and it worked, within seconds she was too busy pushing you back against the couch cushion and pulling your shirt over your head to think of anything else but the feeling of your warm body in her hands. 

later that night, after you´d spent a good amount of time just laying in bed with the window open and talking because you didn´t want your time to be cut short by sleeping too early, you had something on your mind. you rolled over onto your side, placing your hand on her stomach as you looked at her, “Tess” you said, an unusually timid tone which was endearing to her, “yes sweetie, what is it?”, she moved herself up on the pillow a little to signal that she was listening. “well, I was just thinking, my roommate isn´t coming back until next week..”, “okay. and that means?”, she said, not catching on yet, eyeing you curiously, so you just put it out there. “well, I was wondering if I could persuade you to stay a night...”. she was confused for a moment, “what, in your dorm?”, you nodded, a shyness to your demeanor all of a sudden, waiting for a response. she laughed to herself, “well, wouldn´t that be a little fucked up, someone my age hanging out in a dorm?”, you shook your head, “oh no, I have seen so many odd boyfriends coming and going, nobody would even blink an eye at you, really I mean it”. she smiled then, staring off into space as she considered your proposal, muttering “well, I´d have to take Monday off work..”, so you doubled down, increasingly desperate to prolong your time with her, your hand on her forearm then, a strong grip as you pleaded with her. “please, come on, just one night. I could show you around, it would be fun, I could let you get an image of how I live, now that I got one of how you do”. you had a point there, she couldn´t deny that she liked the idea of getting a glimpse into your life like that, “hmm” you could see that she was close to cracking, so you got up and climbed on top of her, bending down to kiss her neck lightly as you kept whispering “please”, which gave her vivid flashbacks to how you´d first come onto her that night you´d first gotten together, the way she´d been broken by the sound of your begging, and it was working yet again, she sighed and held onto your back as she finally caved and said “okay, okay yes. fuck it, let´s do it”, a shudder going through her from the feeling of your hot breath against her skin, your weight on top of her, until you finally let go and looked at her with the face of someone who´d just won a battle. “you´re fucking killing me here, lady” she said, shaking her head, grabbing your waist as you kept sitting on her legs, a bright red blush on her cheeks, “am I?” you whispered, pleased with yourself for getting under her skin. secretly, Tess loved it, that you often pushed her buttons, that you weren´t discouraged by any of her moments of reluctance but took them as a challenge, she never got frustrated by your teasing because it was too delicious, to be played with like that, to be guided towards certain pleasures she´d deny herself if it wasn´t for you insistence. 

the next morning after having breakfast out on the balcony for the last time, basking in the sun with your legs crossed over each other´s, she helped you pack your things. as you were checking around her bedroom to see if you´d missed a piece of clothing or something else, she grabbed a shirt of hers that you´d worn to bed a few times that week and handed it to you, “here, take this too”. you hesitated for a moment as you reached for it, “really? you won´t miss it?”, she shook her head, “not at all. besides, I like the idea of you sleeping in my clothes when you´re not here. I´m not being that selfless”, you laughed, “okay, well in that case I´ll gladly take it”. 

as she opened her apartment door you took a dramatic final look around, a gentle squeeze on your shoulder as she said, “hey, don´t act like you´ll never see this place again, you´ll be back”, “you think so?” you asked, “oh, I know.” she proclaimed, confident, so you smiled and clung to that sound of conviction as you both made your way downstairs and headed towards her car.

the drive was not that long, about 3 hours, a little slower than by train but not long enough to actually be exhausting. you drove an hour, then stopped for coffee, drove another, then got some mediocre lunch and walked around for a bit before passing the final hour with you feeding her individual pieces of candy as you got comfortable in the passenger seat and handled the job of choosing songs that fit the mood, every now and then getting a rise out of her by touching her where you knew she liked to have your hands the most, while she was trying to keep her eyes on the road. 

around 3 pm you reached your destination, she´d of course picked you up in your college town once before, so she had no trouble finding the street you lived on. the semester wasn´t going to start until a week later, so the streets weren´t that crowded even though it was a Saturday, you could tell that about half your fellow students were back, while the other half was probably still either still back home or somewhere savoring the last few days of freedom before things would go back to business again. 

Tess vaguely recalled some of the buildings as you walked up to your dorm, but she found herself liking the atmosphere more than she´d expected, her own college town had been more urban, so it was interesting to see a campus that was more on the isolated side. 

once you were in your room, you opened the window to let some fresh air in and sat down on your bed as Tess inspected the details of your space, trying not to feel the slight burn of self-consciousness in your chest as you watched her curiously inspecting the details of your space, but for once she didn´t have anything to say, she was genuinely absorbed in the attempt to figure you out, to see how you liked to live, how you made yourself feel at home and comfortable. after a few minutes she joined you on the bed, the two of you sprawled out as much as the rather small bedframe allowed you to be, arms and legs touching in various places as you laid there, staring at the ceiling, relaxing after the drive. after brief moment of comfortable silence you could hear her laugh to herself and utter “god..” while shaking her head, so you turned to look at her, “what? what is it?”. she turned her head too then, “it´s just. this is pretty fucking mid-life crisis-ey of me, isn´t it?” her hands in the air, vaguely gesturing around, “ending up in a dorm room again at my age. I think I can´t deny that that´s pretty cliché mid-life of me”. you laughed, endeared by her moment of self-deprecation, “well if it makes you feel better, people my age have actually recently coined the term quarter-life crisis, so we´re kind of in it together”, she laughed too then, “what, really? that´s a thing?” you nodded, she considered it, “well, I think the takeaway there should be that we´re all in crisis at all ages, huh”, you nodded, reaching for her hand, lacing your fingers through hers, “exactly, that´s the enlightened take. so, no need to feel bad about yourself or question your weird behavior, if it´s gonna be ongoing, right?” you joked, “sure, I can just mess around with a girl in college and free myself of the knowledge that it´s technically kind of pathetic” you gasped as she finished that sentence, overly dramatic, “pathetic?? ouch”. Tess pulled your hand up to kiss it then, patting your head afterwards, “not on your part, baby”. 

after about 45 minutes of regaining some of your energy, you both made your way outside again and you gave her the promised tour of all the places you usually spent most of your days at: your lecture halls, the buildings where you had your seminars, the dining hall, the little park that was located in the middle of your campus. the thing that made it easier on your part was that you that yours was an impressive one as far as college campuses went, large historic buildings, a lot of nature surrounding your area, a rather idyllic vibe to it all. Tess seemed to have a genuine interest in everything you showed her, which warmed your heart. she kept asking you things that you didn´t even consider telling her about because they seemed minute to you, but to her it was a delight, to finally get to know the structure of your daily life, she couldn´t remember the last time she´d been so eager to get a picture of how someone moved through the world, and it hit her as you showed her around, how you´d awakened a curiosity in her, a deep need to know as much as she could about the person she felt so devoted to. 

as you walked down a particular path you often took after classes, you pointed towards a wooden bench under a large tree that was still in bloom, “oh see, this is where I spent many miserable afternoons, just listening to music and feeling sorry for myself, it was great”. Tess laughed as she went over and sat down, looking around to see the view you´d had all those times, “I hope those days are over now”, you joined her, stretching your legs out and sighing, “you think you magically fixed all my issues?”, you teased as she put her arm behind your back, “all of them? jesus, care to tell me what that endless list entails?”, she joked back in a low tone, “oh you know. general melancholy, loneliness, self-pity, being into women that could be my mom, the usual” she shoved your leg then, “you´re disgusting”, but you could see a hint of a smile out of the corner of your eye. 

“but for real, I don´t have to worry about you, do I?”, it felt good, to know that she felt the need to make sure you´d be fine on your own, you assured her, “no, I´m much better now than last year. but feel free to maybe worry a little, I don´t mind that..” you said, grinning at her. “oh and you´re gonna have to get better at texting, because I can´t call you during lectures or while I´m at the library”, she laughed, “so I can keep you from actually learning something?”, you shook your head, “I´ll only do it during the boring ones. promise”, “right, sure, I´ll see what I can do about that”.

“would sexting encourage you?”, Tess made a face of disgust then, “no? you think that´s my thing, typing sleazy shit into my phone?”, you knew she was not the type for all that but the image was funny to you, “okay jeez, guess I´ll find other ways to fantasize”, “I can send you audio messages of me reading some book, that should do the trick”, she teased, “fuck off. I never should have told you about that, it really went to your head that I love your voice”, she smiled, leaning closer to you then, whispering in your ear as she held your face, “do you?”, you sighed, defenseless against her, a shiver on your neck as she kept fucking with you until you eventually pushed her off and tried to get your face to a normal temperature again, a satisfied expression on her face as she backed off because a few people were walking by.

“last year this place was my depression spot, but this semester I can sit here and think about you instead, how does that sound?”, you said after a few moments of silence, “better. much better” she did like that image, “or you know. you could focus on your academic goals, just a thought”, and as if she´d summoned her by mentioning it, you spotted a former professor of yours from afar as she was walking in your general direction. 

at first you thought she might pass you by but you locked eyes and smiled, so you tapped Tess on the shoulder, “she was my prof last year, I think I should say Hi”, but you barely got the sentence out before she already stood a few feet away and greeted you, so you stood up to get a little closer. “hey, good to see you!”, you returned the politeness and exchanged a few words about what you´d done over the summer, she´d been one of better professors you´d had, actually good at teaching and always eager to get to know her students, asking what was wrong if anyone ever seemed out of it during class, so it was easy to make conversation. 

“you´re not taking any of my classes this year, right?” she asked, signaling disappointment, you shook your head “no, sadly not, but maybe next semester”, “right, well I´m sure we´ll see each other around still”, Tess was observing the exchange with keen interest and as your professors´s eyes wandered over to her you said “oh yeah, I´m here with a.. family friend, to show her around because she lives nearby”, Tess gave a brief nod and smile, amused by your choice of words. “then I´ll leave you guys to it, have a lovely time! see you around!” she´d used your name at the end of that sentence rather affectionately and Tess watched her with a hint of judgment in her eyes as she walked away, immediately shaking her head as you sat back down on the bench, laughing to herself, “wow”. 

“what?” you asked, confused by that reaction “she was fucking flirting with you”, “huh??” you said, unsure if you´d heard her right, “oh come on, it was so obvious”, you protested, “Tess, she has a husband and two kids”. “that doesn´t mean shit”, she wouldn´t back down, “it doesn´t??”, your expression one of disbelief then. “no. married women are freaks, trust me, I´ve had my experiences”, you couldn´t believe that she was insisting on it but then it dawned on you that she was jealous because they were both women around the same age, because she maybe thought that she fit your type, so you decided to mess with her, flattered by the wave of possessiveness that had come over her just from watching you be polite to someone who shared some of her characteristics. “well, in that case I seem to have a good back up plan if you ever decide to dump me”, grinning as you said this.

she immediately shook her head, her index finger moving back and forth in the air, a show of protest, “oh no, if this ends, it´ll be because of you, I´m not going anywhere, so you´ll have to do the breaking up if you wanna get rid of me”, you returned the energy, “well I won´t do it either, so, I guess we´re stuck with each other?”, she smiled, leaning back and closing her eyes as the clouds parted and let the sun through, her face turned towards the warmth, “seems that way”. 

the rest of the afternoon you spent getting lunch and coffee at a place you often went to, sitting in the sun and people watching, letting the time pass while you walked around, stopping here in there to walk into stores or buy a cold drink. naturally, you ended up back in your room with nothing else to do but get rid of the clothes you´d sweat through while walking around all day and getting your hands on each other, clumsy at first since you had gotten used to her much bigger bed, but you made it work, her hand between your legs as you made out, getting you worked up and soaked before she got down between your thighs and ate you out like she hadn´t done it in weeks, even though it had just been a day, messy and desperate, her hands pulling you down onto her face again each time she could feel you moving away, pushing your legs open if you squeezed them together, doing her best to turn you into an absolute mess, turned on from your desperate whining, your fingers in her hair, the taste of you all over her face, she´d never get tired of it, having you in your most vulnerable state, all to herself.

the thing that you realized while living with Tess was that she was a spontaneous lover, she didn´t have specific times of day where she needed it the most, she wasn´t a morning or a night person, it was unpredictable and you loved it that way, that she sometimes got random bursts of intense desire during the day, it was one of your favorite things about being around her so much, that you´d sometimes just be relaxing on the couch together and somehow end up having the most mind blowing sex at a random time like 5 pm. she realized while you were living with her how much she loved it, not planning hook-ups, but just responding to desire whenever it called to her because she had someone close by who wanted her, all the time, the reciprocal thing of “if you´re in the mood, I´m in the mood”. your week together had given you both a new relationship to your sexuality, it had become more playful and free but also more intense because the deep emotional bond was there. she never came hard with hookups because as much as she did not want to admit it, Tess was absolutely the type to need that loving component to really lose herself and get off in a truly satisfying way. 

you kept laying there for a while after, you fully undressed and she in her underwear, touching and caressing each other as you rested your eyes for a moment, before you got up to shower and get changed before going out for a drink. 

you knew where to take her, there weren´t many bars to choose from but one was a safe bet, it was the one that your roommate and you frequented most nights because it was not too overpriced, not too far away from campus, and had a veranda that was ideal for the warmer seasons. you and Tess stayed there for about an hour and a half, debriefing your day, you asking her for her honest opinion about your college, the vibe she was getting, her admitting that she was actually kind of jealous of you because being there had made her feel nostalgic for that time of her life even though it had been rough at times, she swirled the ice around in her drink as she thought about how to put it.

“the thing you´ll understand when you´re closer to my age is that even though you did suffer in your younger years and in college, you´ll still miss it, the specific feeling of being young but old enough to do whatever you want, living with friends, doing stupid shit for fun that would feel weird at an older age. I am not saying you have it easy, not at all, but just. try to soak this up” she said, gesturing around at the other people sitting outside, “you should try to enjoy your last year, really, don´t let me distract you from all of this too much.”. you smiled at her the entire time she spoke because you really liked it when she was more earnest, she always put things in a way that made sense to you, and you were grateful to have her perspective, you pulled her hand over onto your lap then, “I will think of you a lot, but yes, I´ll try to make the most of it, thank you for caring about all that, really”.

Tess patted your hand, “you should do shrooms or something, really get the most out of your student life” she joked, “oh sure, yeah, great advice”, “wait, you never told me, are you a party goer?”, you narrowed your eyes at her, “didn´t I tell you about how much of a loser I was last year? my friends dragged me out a few times but other than that, no”, she laughed then, leaning back and eyeing you with a hint of intrigue, imagining something, you could tell, so you asked, “what?”.

“oh I was just thinking about how you might look when you´re drunk and dancing with people”, she liked the image, you in some dark room with colorful lights illuminating your smiling face as you moved in unison with another girl, or multiple girls, it did turn her on, she couldn´t deny it.

“well, I wish you could find out” you said, smiling at her, leaning your head on your hands, “if I do end up going out, I´ll probably send you drunk texts and pictures, so there´s that” you added, amused by the idea of her receiving some overly affectionate messages from you at 2 am, she was too, “sounds good to me. what kind of drunk are you? touchy? the one that ends up crying? aggressive?”, you laughed, “I think I´m an emotional drunk, just showering everyone in compliments and random confessions of how much they mean to me, how pretty they are, etc.”, “okay damn, you´re making me jealous there”. “yeah with you it wouldn´t end well, I´d embarrass the fuck out of myself”, she knew what you were alluding to, the fact that “I love you so much” would probably slip out multiple times, “I´d like to see that to be honest” she admitted, you threw her a playful look “one day maybe”. 

around 10 pm you were back in your room, after a slightly tipsy walk back, and tired to make it as homely as possible by lighting a few candles and pulling the curtains half shut, leaving the window cracked, so you could hear some of the faint nightlife noise, laughter from a drunk group of people here and there, a few birds still singing at that hour, nothing city-like about it, no cars honking or sirens blaring because your town was rather secluded. Tess was soothed by it, the change of scenery, and you could tell as you saw her laying there in your bed with her arms behind her head, her eyes closed and a faint smile on her sun-kissed face as she waited for you to join her, her freckles visible even in the dim light. you snuggled up to her because there was not enough space for you both to spread out the way you had in her bed, but neither of you minded, it almost felt the way sleepovers had felt as a kid, being huddled up like that, she felt younger in that moment and she liked it, it was

comforting to be so far away from everything that tethered her to her usual routine, in the middle of someone else´s life.

you laid there with your arms wrapped around each other, your face against her chest, the blanket only pulled up to your waist because it was warm enough, both quiet for a while until you spoke up. “so. when are we seeing each other again”,your tone deeply serious, which was endearing to Tess, the fact that she was still there and you were already thinking about your reunion, clearly anxious about how long it would be until then, she thought about it as she slipped her hand under your shirt.“hm, let´s see, I can´t really take off work again in the next few weeks, but weekends are always good. and I know you should probably try to settle in here before coming back to my place, so how about the weekend after next one?”, you nodded, “okay, yes. oh wait, I don´t have classes on Mondays, so I could stay a day longer, I don´t mind if it´s a work day for you, we still have the morning and I´ll take a late train so we can have dinner too. or is that stressful for you?”, “no, that´s perfect, let´s do it. two weeks, that should be fine right?”, she said while glancing down at you, your grip on her suddenly tighter as you thought about the time you´d spend apart, you sighed, “should be, yeah. but I´ll still miss you”, she caressed your back in a soothing motion then, “I know, me too”. 

that night you both woke up multiple times but you weren´t bothered by it because you just used the few minutes you were awake to change positions to lay more comfortably again and to give each other some sleepy kisses on the shoulder or back or whatever body part was closest, hands always finding their way back under the fabric of your clothes, a lazy sensuality to those little windows of time where you were awake during the night. 

the next morning you grabbed breakfast at a place around the corner because you knew Tess was a coffee freak and would love their seasonal menu of various cold brews and you were right, she was blissed out sitting there with you in the morning sun. “you´re trying your best to make me come back here, aren´t you?” she said after she´d gotten up to order herself a second beverage, you just smiled, “maybe. is it working?”, she laughed, running her hands through her hair and taking in the surroundings, she had to admit she´d come to like it there, “kind of yeah. who knows, maybe one day I´ll get a spontaneous burst of recklessness and come surprise you”, your eyes lit up then, “please do that, I´m not kidding.” you loved the idea of living your life, going about your day, while knowing that there was always a slim chance that she might randomly appear at your doorstep one evening, she could tell, so she´d at least consider it, “okay, I´ll see what I can do”. 

your last few hours together were marked by that beautiful feeling of seeing a town right before it wakes up, the sun golden but not hot yet, only a few people besides you out on the streets, both you and Tess could appreciate the feeling of being in the middle of the city on a busy night, but for your farewell it was ideal to just sit there together and soak up the quiet, warm, almost dreamlike scenery. 

what you´d both realized during the course of your week together, was that neither of you were afraid to hold hands in public, to be affectionate and obviously romantically involved. you´d never even had the discussion if it was okay, most likely because you were both so aware of the limited amount of time you had together, that you wouldn´t let fear of judgment keep you from pulling your hand to your face or her from kissing your cheek when you were close enough to do it. there was a relaxed, natural feeling to your tenderness with each other, it was never awkward or clumsy, both of you had the instinct to reach out, all the time, whether you were sitting next to each other, or standing in line somewhere, or laying in bed, your hands always seemed to find their way to the exact spot where the other person wanted it, it hadn´t taken long at all for you to give each other exactly the kind of intimacy you needed. Tess had often been accused of being aloof and distant, even with women she was having sex with, so it surprised her to find that it wasn´t just an intrinsic issue, that she wasn´t fundamentally unromantic or fucked up, that she´d just been waiting to meet someone who brought that side of her out without force, which was a central thing about your appeal to her, the way you loved her without pushing her to give you more of herself than she was willing to, because you trusted that whatver she would offer would be more than enough.

in return, you loved that she was so calm in her obsession over you, it was clear that she was deeply into you, but she left you space to breathe, Tess knew that you didn´t need her to smother you to feel loved, and it created this deeply peaceful bond, one where both of you felt held and seen without ever feeling caged in, quite the opposite, you´d never felt freer than when you held and kissed each other, felt each other there at night or in the morning. 

around 11 am you walked Tess to her car, both of you walking much slower than necessary, eventually reaching the spot where she´d parked and unsure what to do, now that it was time to say goodbye. 

she put her bag in the backseat and came over to where you were standing, a parallel to how you´d greeted each other at the start of the week, her resting against the passenger door, you facing her, a silence, a shared moment of unwillingness to part ways, something somber and fragile in both of your expressions. you nervously shifted your weight as she looked at you, the way the light was hitting your face, the way your neck was bent, that space right above your shoulder where she´d placed countless kisses the days before, suddenly overcome with utter devastation over the fact that she´d return to an empty apartment, that she´d sleep alone again, that she wouldn´t feel you moving next to her in the night, that she wouldn´t spend her afternoons on the couch with your head in her lap. Tess couldn´t stop listing all the things she´d miss and without realizing a few tears had formed in her eyes, you caught it, looking at her while she was so lost in thought that she didn´t even realize until you stepped closer and touched her arm, a hint of a smile on your face as you asked, “hey, are you crying?”, unsure if you should comfort her or delight in the fact that she was so affected by the idea of your absence. 

she was slightly embarrassed and adjusted her posture to seem more secure as she briefly dabbed the corner of her eyes, “no…” a very unconvincing tone, because she knew you knew. you put your arms around her waist then, leaning in to kiss her temple, staring at her until she collected herself and met your eyes, her hands around your neck as she said, “listen, I know I am not the best at making speeches, but I need you to know that this whole week has been a dream, really. I can´t remember the last time I had this many good days in a row.” she was deeply serious about it, so you were too as you answered, “me neither. thank you isn´t enough to be honest, there was literally not one moment that I didn´t enjoy”, Tess could tell you meant it, and it made her feel good about herself, because that was all she´d hoped for, that you´d leave her place feeling better than when you´d come there, and she´d succeeded, very much so. 

“so, in two weeks then?” you said, a gentle smile, still holding onto her, “yes. be good in the meantime, eat well, sleep well, have some fun, all that. okay? none of that shit from last year” there was something parent-like about the way she´d phrased that, so you couldn´t help but say, “yes, mommy” which earned you a light slap from her, she wouldn´t let you get under her skin with that word, she was too stubborn to admit that it kind of turned her on. “shut up, I mean it! if you don´t look healthy the next time I see you, we´ll have a problem, miss”, you liked her slightly stern way of caring for you, it was a hot contrast to her softer side that you´d brought out, “okay, noted. I guess if there´s a serious issue I´ll just come to your place for a day, that should fix whatever´s wrong with me” you said in a low tone, playing with a strand of her hair, doing your best to make her feel weak in her knees. Tess had gotten used to it and grown to enjoy it, your shameless way of toying with her. 

“sure, if there´s an emergency, I´ll play nurse” she teased, gaining the upper hand again by giving you a deep kiss that left you flushed and frustrated over the fact that you´d have to wait fourteen days to do that again. “I´ll fucking miss you.” you uttered, shaking your head, you knew it was time to let go, because otherwise you´d stand there til nightfall, but you had one last thing to say, a stillness to you as you told her, “I love you.” the warmest smile on her face that you´d ever seen, a brief moment of her basking in the light of those words before she pulled you in for a final hug, whispering “I love you too.” as her head briefly rested on your shoulder, her arms tight around you, both of your eyes closed, your hearts beating slowly in unison. there was nothing stressful about that confession because the feeling of loving each other had been so palpable between you all the days before, neither of you were shocked or surprised, you were just full of warmth, flooded by a deep sense of ease, the kind that fills your body with a sensation that evokes the visual of a river of gold, running slowly through your core, spreading to your face, leaving you tingling all over, close to sighing from relief, from joy, from everything you´d come to cherish about your connection. 

for a few seconds you stayed like that until you squeezed each other´s hand and separated. once Tess sat behind the wheel, she pulled the window down, so you could lean in and rest your arms there for a moment, looking at her all doe eyed as you said, “call you later tonight?”, her hand on your arm, “tomorrow. gotta build up some suspense, sweetheart”, that familiar grin of hers as she pulled down her sunglasses. “sure, alright, let´s do that. I do hope you dream about me tonight though” the threatening tone of that statement amused her, “there´s a pretty good chance of that happening, don´t you worry, baby”. eventually you got up, giving her car a light slap on the hood as she started the engine and threw you a final glance, driving off with the window still down, wind in her hair, looking in the rearview mirror to confirm her suspicion, that you´d keep standing there, that you wouldn´t immediately turn around and walk away, a sudden urge in her chest to turn around, to fuck up her work schedule and tell her boss that she´s sick. 

for a good few minutes you just stood there by the side of the road, leaning against a lantern, unable to move on with your day, to go back to your own routine without her by your side. the initial pain that you both felt in your return to being alone was slowly but surely overshadowed by a deep feeling of gratitude, because you realized at the same time that you´d given each other a deeply precious gift; it was undeniable that it would have been ideal to lead a life where you could live together, where you could spend all your time together, neither of you would have ever denied that, you´d both dreamed about it, but your unique situation gave you both the gift of returning to your daily lives on your own with a completely different feeling and outlook compared to before, even though nothing about your circumstances had changed. Tess knew then as she was driving back home that she would not feel the same sense of dread every morning, that she would not dissociate as much as she always had before, that she´d move through her life with an unfamiliar sense of optimism, knowing you were out there and waiting to see her again. she knew that being at work would feel different, simply because she could spend the minutes she´d usually spent zoning out, thinking of you, what you were up to, how you might sound during a call later that day, what you´d want to tell her. 

you felt the exact same way as you walked back to your dorm with a dreamy look permanently frozen on your face because it dawned on you that your senior year of college would not be as hard as your junior year at all, you knew then that it would be easier to get up and move around, to look at the days ahead of you with hope, because regardless of was about to happen, you had someone out there who´d listen to your worries, who´d help you navigate your through it all, who´d always get your spirits up without even trying hard, hearing her voice would be enough to feel better after a rough day, making her laugh would be enough to feel useful, to feel like your presence mattered and helped other people move through their own lives a little easier. your love for her was reviving in a way, you felt stronger and more capable than before, you felt safe and secure knowing that life could shake you up however it wanted and you wouldn´t be scared, at least not the way you´d been before, because she´d be there, always, even if it was just a text or a call, you wouldn´t be lonely anymore, neither of you would be.

you had left each other with the most beautiful thought to hold close to your hearts:

someone out there loves and sees me for who I am at my core. someone out there prays that everything goes well for me. someone out there is waiting eagerly for me to come back to them, and I will. again and again and again.

[raeniskaies]

how to fix your mindset ♡

- your mindset is one of the most powerful things in the world . how you depict the world , what you believe , can absolutely change it all . .

001 , respect yourself

- so most of you attend school , right ? whenever you talk to the teacher , you call them by their honorific titles or speak to them with respect . or if you meet a stranger , you greet them and ask how they are. now , forget about teachers or strangers , imagine you are greeting a member of the royal family , you curtsy or bow towards them with a great amount of respect. you are a member of the royal family. every single morning , look in the mirror and tell yourself you deserve a great amount of respect and you deserve the freaking world . don't expect anybody to love you if you don't even like yourself ! look at your room. is it messy ? if so , go clean it right now because having the place where you sleep , study and lounge be messy is extremely disrespectful to yourself. not having the respect or even a frick to clean after yourself is disrespectful to you and you might not even realise it. treat yourself like you're the most precious thing in the world because honey , you are .

002 , stop being lazy + pathetic

- you may be still searching on how to stop being lazy or how to get back up. do it. I don't care if you're tired because whose fault is that ? some people can not afford to be lazy. the financially struggling can not afford to be lazy. the single parents can not afford to be lazy. the workers can not afford to be lazy. you sit around on your butt all day watching tiktok or reading tumblr blogs or whatever to do absolutely nothing. God has given you the gift of life , out of billions , you were the one to be placed on this earth and you spend your life doing nothing ? don't say you're unlucky or your life is terrible. that's absolutely pathetic. let that be your motivation. it's okay to take breaks or rest but please get back on track. only the privileged can afford to be lazy.

003 , don't follow people around - you're not a dog

- have you watched ' mean girls ' ? had you seen gretchen and karen ? did you notice how they follow regina ? don't be like them , don't waste your time , your life on following someone like they own you. don't seek someone's attention like you live off of it ; you don't ! it's also disrespectful to yourself because you're lowering yourself to the position of a dog or any other pet , following it's master to the end of their time. life is only once. use your time on something more important.

004 , idgaf

- please don't care if somebody hates or dislikes you. they are just jealous. no seriously , they spend most of their time obsessing over you and your life just to " hate on it " , they're jealous , hun. also face it , we are all going to die , life is too short to care about it , you are way more important to just worry your pretty little head on some obsessive parasite !

" so and so said this about you - " okay.

" they said this - " okay.

okay. idgaf.

005 , life is survival of the fittest

- your future matters. your teen years go way too fast and before you know it , you're already grown up. get a decent education. get to the top.

my mother always tells me I am pretty , I am smart , I have potential and I actually do. at the age of 10 she would already know what private university she would attend and she would have that as her number one goal. 5 years later , she travelled away from all of her family , her friends , her home to reach her dream ( the uni ) and she did. she knows others who have done the exact same as her who are billionaires and others who haven't who are financially struggling. throughout her parenting ( the first couple years were an extremely tough time for her ) journey , not one person , not even her bestest friends had come to our home offering gifts or money , not even for her kids. everybody else is focusing on their own families and their lifes ! if you have an opportunity , take it , like my mother had + be prepared ! because at the end of the day , in 10 years , your " friend " will not pay your rent.

006 , your mind is blind but not deaf

- your brain has no eyes of some sort that can lookout and know what's happening. whatever you tell your brain is happening , that's what it will believe , e . g ::

♡ " I'm ugly " then you'll be ugly. you'll perceive yourself as ugly.

♡ " I can't achieve anything " then you won't. you'll get nothing done in your life.

instead , tell yourself affirmations in the mirror , remind yourself that you're absolutely stunning ! it will come true !

007 , every setback is a blessing in disguise // see the bright things in everything

- now I do not care how bad something was , or how much it had impacted you , that is a blessing in disguise from God. God has your back. God is with you 24 / 7. He is greater than everything in the entire world. Don't ever erase that from your mind if something as small as not being able to go to your bestie's bday party or having strict parents. When I moved to the other side of the world , I felt like my life was over. 2 months later , I realised how toxic some of my old " friends " were and I got amazing opportunities where I live now. " When a door closes , another one opens " that is one of the most truthful sayings ever.

008 , don't wallow in your own self pity like a pig

- did you lose a competition or your partner broke up with you ? its okay to feel sad and you can cry about it but afterwards , get up. Move on. im sorry but nobody really cares. "oh my life is so unfair" so is everybody else's ? Get over it , please ! you can try another competition and your ex was clearly not for you so move on. nobody will care because they have their own problems to deal with. they may say sorry or give you a pat on the back but that's it. It won't change anything. they will be a whole lot ahead of you whilst you're still in the same spot in life , wallowing in your own self pity. whether you like it or not , life moves on and nobody cares , ml ♡

009 , set boundaries

- do you not like it when someone makes fun of you or touches you in a way you don't like ? you do not have to endure that , honey ! set your boundaries and if someone breaks them , take a break / leave them ! if they cannot respect your boundaries , they don't deserve you ! ♡

010 , drop toxic people

- it doesn't matter if you've been friends with them since kindergarten , or you don't want to seem mean. drop toxic people. this includes "friends" who just talk about themselves and say things like "oh , my life sucks" all the time , put everything in a negative mood. they don't deserve you. don't ruin your mental health over someone else , ml ! ♡

sorry if I sounded mean , I'm just trying to be honest !! ♡