#after all the trauma and heartbreak
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swankifyed · 2 months ago
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i dont think im mentally stable enough for this
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weregonnabecoolbeans · 4 months ago
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I haven’t said this enough recently but I’d like to take a moment to remind everyone…or idk…whoever sees this post…
That I love Obi-Wan Kenobi.
Thank you.
#that man is a disaster and he is the best#i love him and all his infinite sadness and regret and trauma and heartbreak and failures#and anxieties and worries and self loathing and self doubt#all his hubris and sarcasm and snarkiness and sassiness and flirtiness#and how everyone who meets him either falls in love with and/or wants him dead#i love him for all his negotiating and meditating and nerdiness#i love his ability to befriend everyone he meets and his love of animals and all living things and how hard he tries to hold onto hope#his desperate need to be good enough and his love of adventure and his tendency to get kidnapped and his hatred of flying#and above all i love him for the endless love he carries inside of him#how he fought so hard to never give up on anakin and how he spent the rest of his life watching over his kids#how he learned to be himself again after spending time with a feisty ten year old leia#how he softly cried as qui gon and satine died in his arms and how he refused to be the one to kill anakin#how he saw padme and anakin in their kids and how they reminded him to have faith in whatever remaining good there was left in the galaxy#this man had this insane life and went through so much and somehow never fell to the dark side#even when he and the ones he loved were always at the center of all that damn tragedy#yeah i love obi wan#star wars#obi wan kenobi#the clone wars#a new hope#the phantom menace#attack of the clones#revenge of the sith#obi wan kenobi series#star wars original trilogy#star wars prequel trilogy#kate's post
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angeart · 9 months ago
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hhau rescue rambles - part II
>> part I here // hhau masterpost here <<
The hermits are here to take Scar home but Grian is gone and Scar can’t leave without him, even if the others would promise to look for him. (They won’t find him, they won’t, they won’t. Scar knows how vast these forests are. He knows how many hiding spots there are tucked away if one knows where to look.) (They don’t know where to look.)
They’re not listening to him. He’s half-feral and panicked and desperate, barely making any sense. He keeps saying he needs to find Grian, but he looks half-crazed, clothes stained by a huge amount of blood and—
If it looks, a little bit, like he’s just in frenzied denial of some grief? That maybe something happened and Grian isn’t here anymore? The world is permadeath, after all. The rescue party isn’t sure what to think.
Of course they promise to look for Grian. Of course they’ll try. But first, let’s get you somewhere safe, Scar.
Scar panics and backs away and says he isn’t going anywhere until they find Grian. He’s so so afraid they’ll take him away and he’ll never find him. (He keeps imagining that wretched scream he heard that very first day he found Grian, a year ago. How close of a call that was.) (He thinks of finding him after the mimic incident, barely surviving. Wounded and bloodied and ready to collapse.) (He thinks of Grian sobbing as he begs Scar to never leave him again.)
He can’t leave him behind. He can’t.
He won’t.
He’s done everything he can up to this point and if this is his last fight? Then damn it, he’s going to go out swinging. He is going to find Grian. Even if he has to fight his saviours. (They’re enemies if they’re trying to separate him and Grian—) 
He growls and lashes out and his vex magic comes through. The hermits are stunned and a little bit afraid and a whole lot confused. They’ve never seen him like this, hair white and claws ready to tear. (Cub, especially, is terrified of this development. Knowing that if Scar pushes himself too far in his vex form, he could die.) 
They try to placate him, calm him down, reassure him. They try to get the damn teleportation bracelet on him. They keep telling him they can take him home, it’s okay, Scar, it’s okay.
It’s not okay.
He isn’t leaving without Grian, and he isn’t trusting anyone else with this.
So he runs.
He runs from his friends—from people he loves with all his heart; people he thought he’ll never see again. Runs from the promise of home and safety and this hell being finally over. 
He runs, because he can’t take the salvation if he can’t share it with Grian.
Everything’s a bit of a blur as he rushes through the forest, looking for something to tell him where Grian is. He’s fully in his vex form, senses sharp and heart panicked, calling out, desperate for Grian to reply. 
There’s no answer.
Scar sees it, then: a handful of ripped-out feathers and blood.
His heart jumps into his throat, but he laser-focuses and starts following the trail. The world feels askew around him, his steps urgent, his breaths hovering near growls that want to threaten the whole forest if anything dares to hurt Grian more. (He hopes Grian’s still out there.) (He has to be. He has to be—) (Why is he not replying to Scar’s calls, then?)
Scar’s aware that if he can follow the trail of blood, so can others. He needs to be better than them. Faster. (He needs to be a better hunter than them.) He knows that if he’s following the trail now, maybe someone already followed it. (He tries not to let that thought in. That he might be too late.) 
He’s trailed by the hermit rescue party. They scramble in his wake, trying not to lose him. They lag behind, losing sight of him, but Cub staggers to follow his vex bond with Scar, like a tether, trying to hold down the swell of warning anxiety at the fact that Scar is in his vex form. Scar looks feral, he lashed out and ran from them, clothes stained by blood and hair white—
Them following just makes Scar feel hunted. His instincts go haywire and put him more on edge. 
He keeps going.
He keeps calling out, too. Uncaring that he’s attracting every hunter in the vicinity. He can take them. He will happily attract them to himself if that means they won’t go after Grian instead. (The fact that he’s searching for Grian gets a bit tangled up in him. The fact that if he succeeds, he’ll just be bringing the hunters to Grian fails to quite register. He’s not thinking very straight.)
Hermits hear those wails, echoing through the forest. He sounds like a wandering spirit. 
Inhuman. 
Lost.
 --
Grian is hurt. Hand pressed against the spot on his side that bleeds, he sits curled up, pressing himself into some bushes for a moment of reprieve—just a moment, just a little bit, please, please.
He hears Scar’s calls from far away. He hears them, and his heart tears itself to pieces.
He is terrified and hurting, and it feels dangerously close to a despair-filled memory.
 He tries to shield himself from it. There’s a reason he ran. There’s a reason why Scar should stay away from him. He can’t— He shouldn’t— He—
Scar draws closer. Grian can hear his sobbing and heaving. His pleading, so heartrendingly desperate. “Grian please. Grian answer me.”
Grian finds himself cautiously standing up, every muscle taut. His heart is rabbity fast, fear clogging his throat. 
He doesn’t mean to answer. He really, really doesn’t mean to. (He needs to keep Scar away.) Yet a distressed chirp slips through anyway, like a terrified call, begging for Scar.
The sound of it pitches something in Scar. His sobbing changes to panic and dwindling hopefulness. “Grian…?”
There’s a tinier chirp then. Scared. Still involuntary.
Grian is so so afraid and he should know better, but a part of him is desperate for Scar.
The moment he sees Scar, though, the futility rips through him. No. He isn’t meant to— Scar shouldn’t be near him. Because Grian’s been gone so shortly and yet the hunters have already found him. He’s already gotten hurt. He is a beacon.
He can’t stay near Scar. It’ll get Scar hurt. 
It’ll get Scar killed.
(Everything good that stays near Grian dies—)
He needs to get away from him.
He backs away. Tells Scar, in a wobbly voice, not to approach.
Scar doesn’t care. He needs to get to Grian. He needs to get to him, they can go home, this can all be over. 
Running on some faulty reasoning, Grian tries to get away. It’s useless, he is in no state to outrun Scar—he can’t bring himself to fly and he’s bleeding, dizzy on panic—but he feels like he needs to try, anyway. 
His feet feel heavy beneath him, the world unsteady. Scar is behind him and Grian’s heart begs him to stop, turn around, and burrow into his arms. (He can’t he can’t he can’t—)
It takes only a couple of steps for Grian to trip over some roots, the world as cruel to him as ever, sending him plummeting harshly down in a rough tumble of leaves and limbs and feathers. A pained, fearful yelp gets punched out of him on impact.
Scar’s next to him in an instant, kneeling down and gathering him in his arms. Crying as he buries Grian in a hug, terrified he might try to run again. Frantically telling him, “Grian, it’s over, it’s over, we can go home— Please—”
Grian’s sobbing against him, held in place, unable to understand what Scar is saying. He just wants Scar to get away from him and stay safe. (Grian can’t be safe. He’s been doomed from the start. He’s been doomed this whole time.) (He’ll end up like that bird. Dead, with wings ripped off—)
The words “it’s over” mean nothing to him. All he manages to choke out is, “There is no— There’s no home anymore.” They’ve had their safety ripped away from them over and over again. They’ve been showed that they can’t have a home anymore; this world will not allow it. Nowhere is safe. Nowhere is safe, as long as Grian’s wings are bright violet and attached to his spine. 
Scar insists, a series of reassurances, words tripping over each other as he tries to keep his hold on his voice. He says they’ll be okay. He says they don’t have to run anymore. Please, Grian, we can go home.
But it’s not a concept that exists anymore for Grian; it refuses to register in his mind, words sliding right off him, incoherent.
What he knows is this: he failed to protect Scar, and they don’t have a home to go back to, and Grian is sure the hunters are about to show up, any second. He’s so tired and terrified, and he needs Scar to be shielded from this fate. He needs him to be safe.
Scar isn’t letting go of him. His grip is firm as he continues to plead with Grian. He doesn’t want to be rough, he’s never been forceful with Grian, but he can’t let go now. Even as Grian paws at him and tries to push him away. 
Grian’s crying so hard; his efforts to get free are all frantic and urgent, yet half-hearted. (He wants to give in and bury himself in the protectiveness of Scar’s arms.) (He wants all of Scar’s promises to be true.)
And yet something tips askew.
Because Scar’s never been forceful with Grian.
He was always so gentle. He’d never grab him like this, with so much force. So much insistence.
Grian is hit with a dizzying, nauseating thought. Is this a trap? Is this a mimic?
Grian starts chirping. More of those distressed, scared noises as he can't get free of Scar's grip.
It’s the first time ever that Scar won’t heed Grian’s requests to be let go. Not even if Grian says it hurts. He won’t let go he won’t he won’t. He’ll drag him home if he has to.
Grian’s scared and confused, all his thoughts are jumbled, running on rampant trauma responses and unadulterated panic. He can’t deal with any of this. He keeps trying to wrangle free and push Scar away (is it even Scar???), begging him to let go, but it’s so horribly weak. It’s almost nothing. He just chokes on sobs and hyperventilates. (He feels caught.) (He feels like Scar will get killed because of him.) (He doesn’t know what’s happening.)
It’s awful. It’s wrong. It’s— It’s not what it’s meant to be. 
This should be easy. This should be the best day ever! They can go home! 
Instead, it’s like a panicked final showdown and Scar feels like it’s him against everyone. The hermits weren’t listening to him (Grian needs him, he needs him, he needs him), and now Grian isn’t listening to him either. (He can’t comprehend what Scar’s saying at all, and isn’t that so heartbreaking?) (Scar is desperate to get through to him. To calm him down enough so that this could be anything more than Scar forcefully holding him as Grian chokes on panic.) (The kind of panic he should never feel in Scar’s arms—)
Voice breaking, Scar pleads, over and over again. Please, Grian. Please. It’s okay. It’s okay, we can go home, we’ll be alright. It’s me. It’s me, I got you, we’re gonna be safe.
It’s the kiss he presses to Grian’s hair that tips the scales a little, just enough for Grian’s chirps to mute, his sobbing drifting off into softer cries. He goes limp under the affection, still terrified, still trembling and choking on air, but now he’s pressing himself against Scar instead of trying to get free. 
“G, do you understand what I’m saying?” Scar begs in a wavering voice, unbecoming of his feral appearance. He holds onto the magic prickling along his skin, alert for any sort of danger, anything that so much as tries to approach and hurt Grian. His hands are still clawed. His hair is still white. His veins are still stuffed with unending desperation. 
Nothing is over yet. 
It should be. It should be, but it isn’t.
Not yet, not yet.
 The hunters find them before the hermits do.
-- part III here
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msommers · 1 month ago
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i just simply think it's a horrifying but effective way to radicalize the formerly sheltered and spoiled noble lady and get her to immediately understand the desire for vigilante justice when the party member she was just trying to give grace to decides to betray the party and its result is the entire sequence of the fall of val foret
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yellowocaballero · 2 years ago
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I love how your Bruce is traditional but it is also like a mix of different types of traditional. Like he comes across as both "Rich white old money type" traditional AND "member of a marginalized minority group who take great pride in their identity to cope with years of ostracization and going "the world wanted me dead for my culture and religion so i might as well die loud and proud instead of conforming to their unachievable ideals" " traditional
Thank you for this ask, I really love it! I have a shitton to say on this topic, including a lot of worldbuilding decisions on Gotham cultures, immigrant spaces, segregation, how it ended up like 1920s-1930s NYC/Chicago mixed with my own city, Jason "Foil" Todd's Inferiority Complex, but that would make this depressingly long. Long time readers would know that I have, like, really complex and discrete religion headcanons for everybody I write. It's important.
Any decent Batman Story (TM) is about Gotham. It has to be a huge presence. It's like writing Dick Tracy without Chicago, or Cheers without Boston. When he's written well, Batman is a reflection of Gotham, and they metaphorically represent each other.
Most Batman writers get this, so there's always a lot of historical worldbuilding and everything. But I'm a community health person, and I grew up in the inner area of my own very large city, and creating a Gotham that feels real and rich is more complicated than the Court of Owls stuff. For me, cities are the intersection of culture, community, history, oppression/SES/war etc, and the modern day to day lives of people. When I want to make a rich city that was relevant and important to the story, I wanted to focus on immigrants and cultural minorities. You know - the people who create the cities lol. I decided on a history that involved the idea that Jewish families were the oldest in Gotham, and that they were one of the people to help create it and influence its culture.
I read a Daniel Handler quote just now that said "there is something naturally Jewish about unending misery". What is more Batman, Bruce, and Gotham than that, lol. The Jewish diaspora experience - the traditional history just as you outlined it in your ask - is baked into Gotham, it's the foundation. Gotham is a city of unending misery, but it's a city that stands tall. It takes a thousand hits and always gets back up again. People within it experience unending poverty and suffering, but they stand together. Just fucking refuse to die, as a whole. What's more Jewish than that! What is more Batman than that! Gotham should always be allegorical for Batman and Bruce, and through Gotham existing in that traditional Jewish experience, I think that's where you got the impression of Bruce as very traditional too.
Tim and the Drakes are the modern reflection of this. I was extremely explicit that Tim is alone in the world because of the Holocaust. I talk a lot in the story about how war and violence destroy children's lives, and that stretches back to the 1940s. About how war and violence creates violent children, which is what Tim became. His acting out was from the trauma of seeing his family slaughtered in front of him, and like a lot of people he used his religion to justify it.
There's a reason why the very first moment when Tim and Bruce actually connect as a family is when they find kinship and understanding through their shared backgrounds and values. They both saw their families slaughtered, they're both alone in the world - but they found each other, and they'll keep living.
OK BELIEVE IT OR NOT THAT'S THE SHORT VERSION. Seriously, though, I'm not. Uh. Actually fucking Jewish. This is like the fourth time I've talked out of my ass about this. I'm actually really interested in reading about the actual Jewish themes in Batman, because from what little I know they HAVE to be there. Any smart people out there who know about it, or who can link something written about it?
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carefulfears · 1 year ago
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thinking about how sarah connor was a girl who worked in a diner and wanted to go to a late movie because her date ditched her and kissed her pet lizard on the mouth. in a deleted scene from the first film, she tells her time-traveling warrior that when this is all over, she wants to take him to disneyland. buy him a hot dog. "i want it to be over for you." when we see her again, 10 years later, she's strapped to a psych ward bed. she's screaming of the end times, how everyone is already dead, there is no future. she's snapping at her kid until he cries, because he wanted to help her.
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weremerricat · 2 years ago
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something about how instead of javi it was supposed to be nat.. and instead of nat it was supposed to be lottie. nat and javi not wanting to be sacrificial lambs to the slaughter but it’s inevitable for either. lottie wanting to provide sustenance and offering herself for the platter but is denied. and it’s an awful reoccurrence for her, being refused when she is so willing. lottie watching the people she cares about die when she knows it should’ve been her. it never should have been javi or nat but her.
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vizthedatum · 2 years ago
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You’re not horrible for engaging in a reactive response to prolonged emotional and/or physical abuse.
They do it on purpose, and then they will use it against you. And you will think to yourself, “am I the abuser?”
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faebriel · 1 year ago
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hgs brainrot has returned due to tbosas .. speaking of hgs here’s an ask abt the hgs au: if things were totally different, and Wilbur were to be a 12 victor, what do you think a possible mentor-tribute dynamic would look like between him & Niki? I feel like it would be similar to Snow & Lucy in the way that he’s just going out of his way to cheat n help her
anon u have in fact struck jackpot because this is a concept i was spinning some thoughts abt before bee mentioned avoxes and we went OOOOH at that!!! so yes i have considered rainduo as a mentor-tribute dynamic and would love to talk about that concept too :]
so for this concept i think wilbur and niki would be close friends throughout childhood from 12, and then in their teens wilbur is reaped and, well, no one has particularly high hopes (he's a writer and a musician at heart, not a fighter) but through sheer trickery and dumb luck, he makes it to the end of the games. wilbur pulled some pretty fucked up tricks to win - when you can't use brute force, you have to use your brain - and partly due to the trauma of the games, partly due to his shame and survivor's guilt, he sinks into the capitol and relishes a new life there as a socialite. to him, the old wilbur died in the games and the new one has taken his place - to niki, and to his other friends in 12, whatever the games did to him made him into every vapid heartless capitol victor there is.
or. niki has her doubts. they all saw how horrible the games were, but surely there is some part of him left, some part that's hurting, even if it's buried deep?
anyway.
like og spin of the au, niki is reaped and this sucks - this time she does expect wilbur as her mentor on the train, and she expects some kind of warm welcome (maybe even an apology for leaving them so suddenly and silently? an explanation?) but she gets jack shit. wilbur is jaded and cruel and unrecognisable and niki entirely hates it. this is the part where i REALLY WISH we got some time of those two beefing with each other directly in canon (or at least interactions while niki was So Mad at him) but it's okay we fly blind. niki feels abandoned, lonely, thrown off of her kilter - she expected an ally in this place, but she doesn't recognise the person wilbur has become. she doesn't recognise his shallowness (...much), his ruthless advice for the arena, the way he doesn't seem to care for anything. she's scared and now she's lonely and it pisses her off - their mentorship is fraught. here are some thoughts from discord on that:
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i tend to think of niki as a bit naïve before l'manberg or even doomsday - i think this is an au where this streak would come out real strong, and niki is stubborn that she can get through the games without losing herself. stubborn that she can stop things, that she can protect people. i don't think wilbur is cold enough (or, really, can bear to say aloud) to say that her odds in the arena are slim enough as it is, but he definitely tells her that she's making enemies and that her odds of survival dwindle with the more trouble she causes.
beyond that... hm. niki's trust in wilbur is almost unshakeable until nov 16, even when she outright says she doesn't recognise him anymore. i think she'd reluctantly listen re: don't burn down any buildings, but she would grow bolder each day she had to stay in the capitol. she gets more honest in front of the cameras. she makes more friends in training, and not the ones wilbur recommends. she throws barbs at him every time he makes one of those callous, cold-hearted comments about other tributes and rankings and odds. and besides, she's going in the arena this time, not him. she needs to practice her bravery.
it's like... she hasn't given up on him. she thinks the old wilbur is in there somewhere. (she is wrong. that is not how trauma works.) but she won't hold her tongue just because she
for extra angst points could definitely play up the whole 'feeling abandoned' angle between them as niki goes into the arena - probably due to how fraught their friendship gets leading up to the games. niki wants to focus on them and their friendship, wilbur has stringently cut off (almost) everything from 12 and refuses to let her in; he tells her to behave for the cameras, she tells him she never will. i think the last point in that screenshot would also make for a super tasty argument where niki feels wilbur has gone astray, that he's abandoned 12, and that he'll probably do nothing but sit on his ass and watch her die and he can't even bring himself to care about her anymore, can he? just more fodder for the arena. and honestly, i think wilbur would passively agree with most of that - he values niki's opinion, after all, even now, and if she says he's rapidly descending into a lost cause then she must be right. and it's niki, so she will be fine, and he goes to his bedroom that night and tries to pretend he is sleeping perfectly fine instead of feeling paralysed with fear.
okay now onto the games - YES HE SO WOULD. or at least i think he would go out of his way to help. as for cheating - he's a recent victor for 12 and i think he would value tommy (no doubt a link to him... i think they'd be in touch in this au also) too much to risk the punishment falling onto him as well. i get the vibes this is a games closer to 74th than 10th, so there are far fewer opportunities to cheat and the consequences of getting caught are higher. but schmoozing up sponsors? making stupid ass radio interviews or whatever to talk up niki's odds? sharing anecdotes from their childhood - some real, some entirely fabricated - across capitol airwaves to stoke their sympathy? 100%. with less to lose in this au, i think niki would be far less inclined to play nice for the cameras - i hope you starve, she spits at one of them, and wilbur appears on a talkshow two days later as she scrambles for survival in the arena to talk up how she always saved loaves from the bakery for the poorest mothers and children in 12. he borrows and begs and swindles to the point where it feels like cheating. but hey, this new wilbur is capitol-branded. he knows how to play the game.
if anything he probably sinks into the game a little too much. self-preservation is not his forte. probably wracks up a few heavy debts and favours to owe, but those are not priority until niki is out of the arena, alive. as long as she wins, and as long as the family he has isn't in danger, he will manage. wow it would suck if at some point those two goals became impossible to co-achieve. anyway
i kind of see niki's victory in the arena being similar to the one in the main au - if only because planning out an entire games is hard for meee >-< . she walks in bolder and braver for sure, and with a less strategic pick of allies, but they all get picked off and she spends a few weeks so terrified she can barely sleep and then she ruptures some fuel line and sets the arena alight with a fire that burns brighter and more ravenously than it should. but she wins, and she's airlifted out of a filthy, muddy creek she had resigned herself to die in, and wilbur barges his way through as many peacekeepers so that he can actually see her with her burnt skin and hair and unfocused eyes and trust that what was on the screens wasn't a fluke, and that they made it. and then it's just a matter of surviving the after.
i'm sure there are some other random quirks or tidbits i can think of re: this take on a c!rainduo hunger games au but these are my base thoughts!!
#can i just say whatever the hell lucy grey n snow had going on in part 1 made me so berko btw. like congrats ur my means to an end youre my#symbol youre my buddy? should we kiss? i'll get you out of here / don't make me leave these people behind#BRIDGING OFF OF THE TBOSAS DISCUSSION. i think the thing with crainduo (or at least how i like to depict them) is that they care about each#other extremely deeply and value each other... without being each others number one priority at all times.#i don't think niki plays priority with people she cares for like that; see her relationships with like wilbur and eret in lmanberg#even her friendship with and offering ponk a place to stay in her city after manberg even tho manberg hurt her#as for wilbur: his priority is tommy. like always. if it was just him on the line he'd do anything to get niki thru but it's not#asks#hunger games au#they would truly be such a nightmare in this au like. wilbur's self loathing is SO HIGH due to survivors guilt and trauma and mental illnes#he thinks that niki is So Good and Has It Together meanwhile he is So Bad#and is a mess that she cannot possibly rely on him. she can't possibly need him. she can't possibly want him around#<- and this shit is INGRAINED like. it's not even an active thought pattern anymore it is carved into his brain like a groove#and so shes like. do you even care whether i live or die??#of course he does. but this is the capitol. he cant be vulnerable in a way that matters#and that alienates niki further and this rage and heartbreak is building in her with nowhere to go. and in the arena she thinks it erupts#nah uh. i think its AFTER the area when she has to face wilbur again that she would go full screaming meltdown#ANYWAY !! i really like aus where they have this friction esp because i think like.. idk i think sometimes our views of rainduo are too ros#wilbur kind of forgets about niki sometimes because his self hatred is that bad. niki doesnt get wilburs mental illness and takes it both a#a burden/blame AND a direct rejection of her and her friendship#and they hover just outside of each others spaces anxious and angry and almost self flagellating. GOOD FOR THEM !#anyway Yes this did unlock something within me. thanks anon feel free to add on if u had more thoughts esp re: tbosas and such bc i had suc#a good time watching that movie
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sheltershock · 2 years ago
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Sashamilla is such a nice ship. I just want to gush about my otp, so sorry if this isn’t organized as neatly as it could be. But thinking about them, their dynamic, and how they’re portrayed just gives me so much hope and makes me feel happy. Like suddenly throughout my day I’ll just break out into a big, goofy smile and that’s just nice. 
Also: warning, this is a long text post. 
I like how we get personally introduced to each of them separately, and that they get to be their own characters first and possibly in a relationship second. In the first game we get to meet Sasha, get a feel for his personality, run experiments, explore his mind, discover his traumas, and then get directed towards Milla. Sasha’s a complete, standalone character with personality, quirks, and a backstory by the end of his level without any mention of romantic relationships. And then we meet Milla. We don’t get as much time with her, but that’s because she shined more in the opening of the game. She’s already established with her job as an international secret agent, we see her character design which is colorful with lots of circular/spiral patterns, and we see that she’s motherly, kind and responsible. And then we enter her mind and get both  an expansion of that and a subversion. She's a bubbly party girl who’s always pumping everyone up, and has probably one of the most tragic backstories in fiction. Although her trauma memory vault is hidden, it is 100% accessible before her second one even if you’re playing the game for the first time. So before you get to her second memory vault you get her personality, a few quirks(overprotectiveness w/ the explanation of why), and her super depressing backstory. She’s a stand-alone character. And only after we have two complete standalone characters do we get to see her second memory vault where we get the implication that they’re both in love with each other.
But both of them have already been built up so well that they got time to be their own characters instead of simply being “X’s love interest.” It prevents this problem that happens in a lot of heterosexual couples in media where often it’ll just be one full character split into two roles. So the couple “completes” each other, because neither character was actually a complete character to begin with. I actually have a bit of a distaste to the idea of “completing each other” in romance, and I heavily dislike how it’s leaked into real life in the form of “your other half.” You are your own person, and absolutely complete as yourself. I like the terminology of “complimenting” instead of “completing,” specifically in the analogy of color theory. For example the colors red and green. You can make an entire painting in just shades of red or just shades of green and no other colors and it’s a complete painting. But if you put red and green together, it looks really nice because they’re complimentary colors. People in romantic relationships should compliment each other, rather than complete them. 
Sasha and Milla absolutely compliment each other as a couple. It helps that they’re clearly apart of the “opposites attract” trope, but the literary term would be a foil. They are so badly and fully themselves that they can’t help but highlight the other person’s qualities. Control vs. Chaos. Monotone vs. Colorful. Flat vs. Expressive. Logical vs. Emotional. But the reason they compliment each other so well is because it isn’t as easy to say that they’re just opposites, because they’re also extremely alike. For example, you can’t say that Sasha is emotionless, cold and uncaring. You just can’t. Milla is absolutely emotional, warm and friendly, but you can’t say that Sasha is the opposite of that. Firstly, because emotional baggage exists in his mind, which would imply, y’know, emotion. He sympathizes with Raz enough to step up to be his mentor, and when he believes Raz has mistaken a “scary, flaming-eyed demon” for a Censor, he doesn’t berate Raz for wasting their time, but just gently encourages that problems often seem larger in our heads, and that it’s alright. And in Rhombus of Ruin, Sasha tries extremely hard to be as comforting as possible to Lili, to the point that he actively tries to imitate Milla with slow speech, a softer tone of voice, and even throwing in a “darling” at the end. 
The same can be applied vice versa, too. Sasha is clearly a smart, intellectual character. But Milla can’t be called stupid. Except for the times where she is literally brainless, she proves herself to be really smart and capable. She can easily put herself in other’s shoes to identify problems, she knows how to read ripples in emotional oceans and trace its source, she’s extremely knowledgeable about children and their development, and in RoR she can rally the Psychonaut team from their emotionally charged, personal tasks to work together to achieve a goal. Milla isn’t stupid. She just has a different version of intelligence. Instead of Sasha’s logical-mathematical intelligence, Milla has really high emotional/interpersonal intelligence. And that’s the beauty of complimentary characters, that lean towards comparing and contrasting. 
Speaking about how Sasha and Milla compliment each other…well, they compliment each other. Literally. Their version of flirting is just them hyping each other up. Which is really cute. Complimenting their work ethic, ideas they come up with, talents and abilities, etc. Never in the games do they really talk about the other’s physical appearance. Which makes sense since they’re both psychic. But it’s refreshing to see a relationship where both people value their personality and talents instead of physical attraction. The famous scene in PN2 where they are both inching close in way that’s so obvious that they’re going to kiss, they’re talking about how fucking talented and good at their jobs they are. 
Since we see that this is how they flirt with each other, you can actually go backwards in the series and see that they’ve been kind of doing it for all three games. In RoR, when Sasha suggests the idea of tracking a constellation, Milla says “oooh~ great idea, Sasha!” Or in the first game when Sasha refers to Milla as “one of the world’s foremost levitators,” which Raz repeats to Milla as “the most powerful levitator the Psychonauts had.” And Milla’s response for her tone to get really soft and go “Sasha said that? Really? I didn’t know he noticed…” Which, uh, they went on multiple missions together and she’s in the air for most of them. I think he noticed. Then Raz goes on to say that he only works with the best teachers and Milla calls him a flirt. But armed with the knowledge from the sequel that they’re literally always talking to each other, and can do so while having a different conversation, I personally like to think that she was referring to both of them as a flirt. 
And that’s another thing, they’re always talking to each other. Which communication, yay! And it also hints that they like each other enough that they always want to be available for conversation. But surprisingly, when this is revealed in PN2, I think it’s the first time a two-way telepathy connection has been brought up. Of course, characters have been projecting their thoughts into Raz’s mind during all three games, but in these scenarios, Raz always responds out loud. You’d think in an organization of psychics, this kind of two-way communication is normal, but it isn’t? When Sasha, Milla and Hollis go on the casino mission, they’re using radios to communicate. Out loud. Radios. This is a stealth mission and they picked a type of communication where you have to vocally express your thoughts? At one point Milla is saying into her earpiece, “I’m approaching the front desk, I’ll distract the clerks.” That’s not something you want to be saying out loud, within earshot of the target you’re going to distract. Of course the argument can be made that this choice was because the interns were coming and they needed to hear what good correspondence sounds like. But there’s got to be a more effective, less life threatening method right? Unless, of course, that two way mental links aren’t very common. 
Projecting yourself into a mind doesn’t seem to be very hard, but manipulating the mental world does. Within all the games, Raz has to play each level and mind by its own rules. The same is probably true in the real world, that each mind is different and has its own vibe and rules. Solutions that worked in previous worlds are viable in new ones. For example, in Hollis’ mind you have to disconnect the ideas of money and risk to destroy the Lady Lucktopus. Bob’s mind seems to work with a similar boss idea, each plant represents a person in his life that has caused pain, and realizing that his view of them determines if they’re a monster. So if Raz really wanted to optimize his therapy speedrun, all he’d have to do is disconnect whatever thoughts Bob has with these people. But that’s not the solution, Bob has to do the disconnect himself. Like Hollis said, the Psychonauts are there to help people fight their own demons. Because it’s almost like trying to go in and manually changing someone’s mind usually fails in some way, because everyone’s mind works differently. 
What I’m trying to say is that psychically linking two people is probably extremely difficult. You probably need to have a good understanding of each other, get on each other’s wavelength, etc. The only other time something like that has happened was with the Meat Circus, which was terrible, and multiple characters said that untangling Raz’s and Oleander’s minds would be difficult. So thinking about how Milla’s and Sasha’s minds are linked in such a way that they can communicate without it going horribly wrong is extremely impressive. Especially with how stated previously that they’re really different from each other. But seeing how they can get on the same wavelength, it again shows how similar they actually are. It seems really symbolic of a healthy relationship. 
I don’t really know what else to necessarily say. They have their own identities, they compliment each other, they have subversive banter, they’re psychically linked and are probably really good at communication. Just watching them being in a relationship is cute. Even if the games don’t make it clear what exactly their relationship is. They love and appreciate each other for being themselves, and that’s just so hopeful and adorable to me. 
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oars · 1 year ago
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i like that in some kinda way bg3 punishes you for mischaracterizing characters or interpreting them incorrectly
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little-pup-prince · 2 years ago
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he is like me for real - ⚠️beware the trauma dump in the tags, i didnt tag this with the usual ones for this. ⚠️
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sleepyone2three · 2 years ago
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I just finished episode 37 and am not okay 😭
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gayemoji · 2 years ago
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god i havent . i havent listened to meteora since i was probably like 8 . and just . dear god .
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kay-kaylen · 10 months ago
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A lot of people are talking about Ivan's hypocrisy with Sua and how he berates her for sacrificing herself for Mizi and becoming a source of trauma for her and then he did the same thing, but there's a heartbreaking perspective on this.
Sua and Mizi loved each other. The love was reciprocal. Sua died KNOWING Mizi loved her. Ivan's dislike of her comes from the fact that she knew damn well what her death would do to the person who loved her and she did it anyway. She KNOWINGLY hurt Mizi in the worst way possible while still claiming to love her.
Ivan? Ivan's been drilled for YEARS that Till DOESN'T love him. His love isn't returned. It's very possible that he just believes that he won't be a source of trauma for Till, because Till doesn't love him. So he can die for him all he wants. Of course, the elephant in the room is that we no longer know what Till thinks of Ivan after he kissed him and sacrificed himself for him, but that's AFTER Ivan is already dead. He had no intentions or expectations that what he did would actually hurt Till. And there is something so unbelievably sad about that.
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coolcoelacanth · 1 year ago
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i think i can't move on because there is a part of me that is waiting for him to come back. there is a part me that is too scared to let go, because that would mean losing him forever. i don't want to think that we will never share anymore beautiful moments, or that i will never know what it feels like to lay in his arms again.
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