#in conclusion i wish shit was fucking easy

[coolcoelacanth]

i think i can't move on because there is a part of me that is waiting for him to come back. there is a part me that is too scared to let go, because that would mean losing him forever. i don't want to think that we will never share anymore beautiful moments, or that i will never know what it feels like to lay in his arms again.

[arolesbianism]

In the future I believe I shall be calling looped Chou Piéride even tho they'd still go by Chou for clarities sake 👍

[corseque]

I honestly just wanted one single plot step that I could not predict given the 10 year wait. More behind the cut, I talk about Emet too, and I'm comparing his writing favorably to Solas' writing and why it worked better for me personally, but I am just talking about the writing skill that went into the games and not the dudes themselves, I love them both dearly of course. idk this is a mess and I am not going to edit it for clarity

For me, the game was a series of me saying

"ok I knew that. cool."

"oh yeah, I knew that. I guess it's good that the larger fandom knows about that now."

"nice, but yeah I already knew that too"

"that was something we've been talking about a lot for years"

"this thing they are acting like is a huge enormous reveal that the characters could not possibly have deduced through simply thinking about it in depth over the 10 years... the fans easily figured out by thinking about it in depth 10 years ago. So you would think his girlfriend would be able to figure it out more easily than we did. Like, why couldn't the game have been like 'oh lavellan already figured that out a while ago' it would have cost them nothing"

"this is something I've been thinking about for years, and now that it's being revealed, the companions' reactions to it are very irritating and jarring and unnecessary and I really dislike the experience I'm having right now, in this, the hour of my greatest triumph"

"this thing that is happening on my screen right now is something that I wrote an essay about 2 years ago describing how it would be a letdown if it happened without the correct setup"

"this way that they're characterizing Solas makes him less likable and less interesting than I have been finding him for all these years, and I have had people tell me 'no, he's simpler than you think' for years but I guess I was wrong, he really is simpler than I thought, so that fucking sucks. I wish I could take that information out of my brain."

"this thing is a retcon of information I have been thinking about for 10 years, and so I don't know how to follow along with this new direction, and I'm not sure if I even want to because it's not particularly interesting anyway"

"aw that was sweet"

"why is it like, so very impossible to have an honest back-and-forth with my favorite character about the dilemma that was most interesting to me about the previous game"

and then, as soon as, like, the other fans had caught up to the Solas lore that was really obvious from the other games, the game was.... over without anything surprising happening, or introducing a new element or plot point or perspective, or a real true twist (or two, or three) for those of us who have thought about it too hard for too long. It was very simple and easy, much, much, much, much easier than I was imagining. It all felt sort of like that Nicholson quote:

The thing was, the whole story was so interesting to think about because in 10 years, I couldn't figure out a good solution to it!!!!! It's why I was never able to write post-game fanfic about it. So I was stoked to find out some reveal we never knew about, some new information, in maybe a SERIES of steps of new information, that made the situation more complicated but also something that could be navigated by everyone involved. I know it was asking for a lot, but they had TEN YEARS, and they seemingly had set up the things they did in DAI on purpose, so surely they had some idea of a complex and satisfying narrative that would reconcile everyone.

The reason why I was expecting this is because FFXIV did a very similar story arc, which was started AND concluded WITHIN those 10 years (so it took the FFXIV team far less time to deliver as well). And the conclusion to the story in FFXIV did what I was expecting Dragon Age to do. So I thought, "holy shit, if this is the FFXIV version of this plot, how much more complicated is DA4 going to be!?!?" The DA devs also PLAYED FFXIV so they were completely aware, several years ago, of a satisfying story ending that was pretty darn similar.

People are probably going to think "oh, well Chelsea was disappointed because she spent too much time building it up in her head" but that's exactly it - I actually speculated and thought about FFXIV's story IN DEPTH NONSTOP for a year+ before its ending came out, and the ending absolutely blew me away. FFXIV Endwalker managed to introduce information and new story elements that I was not able to figure out in the YEAR I spent speculating on the ending of FFXIV's story. It took a complicated situation and revealed several several more facets to it that I was not able to predict, but were very interesting and thematically compelling, and took us all to surprising and climactic places that we could not have predicted.

Endwalker ("end" is in the title on purpose) too, was written to be THE ULTIMATE SATISFYING ENDING for a very long-running story in the exactly way that Veilguard SHOULD HAVE for Dragon Age, so while this complexity is being explored, FFXIV also gave catharsis to many different plot threads that have been built up through the previous expansions, until finally it ends with a bang. The story is desperately good to me, I loved it, it gave me closure for Dragon Age long before Veilguard was even revealed, and going back and looking at its story has made this whole thing far less painful for me.

So, I actually did not have a picture in my mind for how things SHOULD go. I just had the thought "I hope it's complicated and there are points of view or facts that we haven't before been exposed to, and the situation is resolved respectfully for Solas, not making him look like a fucking idiot (lol, the only thing I asked for). I don't even care what happens to Solas and Lavellan, I just need the story to be complicated and interesting to think about. Please, god, don't let it be "solas is wrong and he just needs to be convinced" because that's like the simplest story you could tell with this setup"

(btw they managed to tell Emet-Selch's story without making him seem like he's being an idiot on purpose or can never get anything right, and in fact the more the story goes on, the more you think of him as smart and capable and cool, so it is possible to write.... I wasn't asking for the entire moon)

And I played it and... yeah. Most of the story beats were more simple than I wanted them to be, a lot of them didn't make sense in my heart given the writing from Inquisition. (This is another essay, but if Solas' thematic story arc was always about him needing to let go of regrets, why was his personal quest the way it was? After that quest, doesn't he end up regretting not doing more....? Why did he never really talk about regret during Inquisition? If he was so trapped by regret, why was he able to do so many actions? It doesn't mesh well to me. The whole regret thing was very quarter-baked to me, I don't even like thinking about it.) His story never seemed like one that was as simple as being about one man's regrets, but then, I guess, it was always just about one man's regrets.

Emet-Selch's personal storyline (and the way it interacts with and affects the larger story) is very similar but much more cohesive and satisfying to me. It would be difficult to explain why without the aforementioned 5-hour essay. Emet-Selch's story IS about grief and anguish on a world-shaping scale in a similar way that Solas' was apparently always about letting go of regret, but Emet's story was also very pointedly and beautifully about that one theme for the entirety of his story from every tiny detail, from beginning to end - meanwhile, it seemed to me that they tried to introduce 'regret' as the main thrust of Solas' story only in the short story with the Regret demon onward.

From Inquisition just by itself, the closest I personally could get to a story theme for Solas was his inability to trust others hurting him and the world, but his trusting others in DA4 wasn't really addressed to my satisfaction. He is never required to trust anyone before the ending, he never opens up or makes himself vulnerable at all. People find out information about him, he never really dynamically opens himself. So the personal story I thought he had was never addressed at all, while a new one about regret was introduced that never made a ton of sense to me. And I don't think this is just because of my expectations - my reaction to FFXIV proves that I am able to meet good writing where it goes in surprising directions, as long as it's interesting and thoughtful and clear.

And I think this might be part of what people felt was off about the ending - Solas is sort of uninvolved in the revelations that are about him, and doesn't do much to be part of his own ending. Part of what I loved about Solas in Inquisition is that he is not controlled by you in any way, and so he feels like his own person with a very strong sense of character.

Anyway, Emet-Selch, in a very comparable and arguably more extreme plot position, is very involved in the revelations about himself, he always feels like a very strong character who cannot be affected by the player, and the whole situation is handled with deft emotion and care and delicacy. The story is comparatively very uninterested in litigating Emet-Selch or putting him on trial - the story allows you to simply feel the way that you feel in an organic way, and Emet's story spends that energy instead actually exploring his thematic material about grief and legacy, and the larger story theme of existentialism instead, in a way that is very refreshing and interesting. I've seen a lot of western stories tie themselves in knots over "redemption" and frankly it's almost never been interesting at all. Who cares about any of that. lol

(Now, I guess this is a matter of preference, because some people really like being able to shape a character's story, but idk I rewatched the ending of FFXIV and even though there wasn't a choice with Emet, because it isn't a branching story, his story felt more satisfying to me, maybe because there isn't a patronizing choice to be made for him. He is who he is, and he fulfills a very beautiful narrative role and purpose that no other character could in the story.)

I don't know how this could have been improved to me and still allowed players to choose Solas' ending for him, but I can actually think of a few different methods, none of which involve Rook condescendingly and patronizingly lecturing Solas as if Solas had never thought about a single aspect of this horrible situation he's in before that very moment that Rook lectures him lmfao.

All this to say... idk I'm writing this and I am not going back to edit it so it's stream-of-consciousness. But yeah

I just wanted the story to be complicated on a few more levels than I could have predicted. I genuinely don't care what happened, but I thought of a few twists like the Veil coming down and yeah, I was expecting A Single Twist or reveal to happen. In a Dragon Age game.

I wanted Solas to seem cool and capable and noble and smart, and actually feel like he was as old and experienced as he is.

I wanted a clear theme I could sink my teeth into

Like notice I didn't even say anything about Solavellan. Like I never in 100 years thought they were getting a happy ending where they were both alive in bodies, and I like that we got that, but I would honestly trade it for a more complicated story. To me, if a story is sad you can always write fanfic, but if a story isn't COMPLICATED, that's a much more urgent issue.

These 3 things DA4 didn't give me in a way that satisfied me but FFXIV did. anyway idk the way my hyperfixations work, I completely switch to a new subject so talking about Dragon Age is actually hard for me right now.

[bambi-kinos]

Hopefully, this ask is a fun one! I've noticed that a lot of times you mention Paul is a bottom, and honestly, I agree 1000% per cent, but I'm curious how you came to that conclusion

For me, I feel like it was a result of tons of reading up on him, body language + his lyrics, and I think the whole control freak (misleading in a way too) part makes some fans think he's a top. Meanwhile, I sit here and think, nope, he's totally a bottom lmao

A lot of it is just wish fulfillment as a result of Paul's bus-sized ass. We're not the only ones thinking about it:

Like it would be a crime if John didn't fuck Paul in the ass. Right??? So it's easy to think "yeah Paul is a bottom" rofl.

But more seriously, I view Paul as a bottom for a number of reasons.

The first is simply how long John and Paul knew each other and how they naturally shaped each other's interests and desires. Paul may not have been that 'swishy' (i.e. effeminate) if he had never met John in the first place. It's easy to see how John and Paul's understanding of homosexuality would have shaped their presentation and the roles they took with one another. Like, in modern times two gay guys can just be Guys Being Dudes. They can both take shirtless selfies of themselves holding up fish with the 🤙 going "shaka braaahhh." In the mid 20th century this idea was not terribly widespread so even among gay people there was an impression of "well someone has to be the woman and it's not going to be me."

So I think that's a big part of it. It's impossible to know how conscious a decision this was but IMO John and Paul reached a consensus of some sort that Paul would take up the feminine role in response to John's masculine one. It's a natural (for a given value of 'natural') position for the feminine half to be the one who is penetrated. Paul, who has demonstrated a number of times his sharp awareness of homosexual activity and how society perceives it, would know this. And he took up that position anyway and kept with it, voluntarily. (And to be clear I think Paul stimulated John's butch attitude and grew that to make John more overtly masculine as well. This goes both ways.)

It's not hard to see why this happened. John is a lot more naturally traditionally masculine than Paul is, no matter what John said about being "soft velvet" and "le Oscar Wilde!!11!!1!" He's the one who got into bar fights and hammered the shit out of other men. He's the subject of a rumor about kicking Stuart in the head, not Paul. Personally I think Paul is perfectly capable of violence, even extreme violence, but he simply isn't perceived that way due to his feminine appearance. Meanwhile John is overtly aggressive and in your face about it, even when going through his druggie periods, which is simply a more traditionally masculine trait no matter how you slice it.

I guess what I'm saying is, Paul responded to and was shaped by John's personality and preferences. John likes to fuck, Paul leans more towards feminine expression, feminine = 'the one who is fucked' not necessarily 'the one who fucks.'

I don't believe they were thinking about this as teenagers (and I don't think they did anything besides circlejerking before Hamburg.) And Paul likes using his dick! However it seems obvious to me that John woke something up in Paul that would have naturally lain dormant under other circumstances. John had a habit of doing this for people, he woke them up to their higher inclinations that got them out of their boxes and I 100% believe that he nudged Paul's 'swishiness' awake and that Paul quietly used this to get out of the box other people wanted to keep him in. He was able to embrace this more fully while with Linda. For Paul, that swishiness comes packaged with a certain set of implications and to me there's no reason why he wouldn't embrace that.

That's not to say that he was completely gung-ho from the start. People who write Paul going 'wtf I'm not doing that' in response to John wanting to fuck him are writing material that feels 'real' for lack of a better word. But I also don't think it would be that hard of a sell once he got used to the idea. Really look at this gif:

John's interest in Paul's backside is overt. Paul seems surprised and a little overwhelmed in the moment but he also smiles a little in response to John checking him out. It seems to me that there's interest there, albeit tentative. In other words Paul seems okay with being the one who is piped.

It's a lot to surmise from a single gif, I know, but otoh we don't have a lot of these moments where John's feelings are overt and Paul responds to them.

In addition to all this, Paul is a curious hedonist. I think John could prevail on him to at least try it. Then I think Paul would enjoy it greatly. Anal orgasms are somewhere between clitoral and vaginal for me but anal sex is satisfying in a way that PIV isn't, and I think Paul would actively seek it out once he tried it and realized how good it is. Anal sex is extremely intimate and John paid close attention to his lovers, Paul is guaranteed a good time once John takes him to bed. And John would want to make that special for Paul especially once Paul did 'break down' and go 'alright I'll do it' as part of their kinky power game. John did like to make things sweet for Paul.

Paul has this whole thing about wanting to be John's second and not necessarily the leader. He enjoys being lead and dominated by powerful men who are at the top of their industry. Check out this quote from McCartney Legacy Vol. 1 in Chapter 26:

Paul explicitly giving in to a "strong and demanding" male after putting up a perfunctory fight that he had no intention of sticking to? What does this remind us of?

And look, Paul invites this himself very deliberately:

Paul is doing this on purpose. He shows his ass off to entice us, the viewers, into imagining his hole and putting our dicks inside said hole and inside him. Women appreciate a nice ass but lack the equipment to fuck it properly. Men do have the equipment and by 1965 Paul knows his effect on heterosexual men. He's very much dangling the fuckability of his ass as a carrot in front of everyone who wants to look. No other Beatle displays this kind of overt neediness for this specific kind of attention. Paul knows what he is doing.

Paul is a bottom. A needy and bratty bottom who enjoys being put in his place and has a thick kinky streak to be sure, but a bottom nonetheless.

The insistence that Paul is a top has always smacked of contrarianism, to me anyway lmao. It's always packaged with making fun of McLennon fanart where Paul is yassified and John is butch or with complaints that Beatle fandom is making Paul "too feminine" and John "too masculine." There's a lot I could say about it but for now I'll just leave it at this: it's usually paired with bitching that McLennon fans are having too much fun. Many are guilty of it.

John and Paul themselves acknowledged this dynamic between them in oblique ways. John, Paul, and even Yoko always imagined Paul as being a woman as well as acknowledging that Paulina would have been romantically attached to John. Paul acknowledged it with the "if I were a woman maybe I could have...." thing, Yoko said that Paul would be a "great threat" if he was a woman in her audio diary that she recorded in 1968/1969, and John also has a quote floating around about the potential that lay in Paul being a woman though I'll be damned if I can't find the stupid thing. And then there's the insulting "Lennon's Princess" nickname from Apple staff. They perceived the dynamic as well.

John and Paul, consciously or not, actively pursued this dynamic with one another. They enjoyed it and Paul voluntarily stayed in that role even during a time period where he might have been justified in going "okay we've hit the big time, no more of that!"

Just look at Paul's posture here lmao. John is shoving his erection into Paul's shoulder. Yeah he's trying to hide it but Paul is fine with it, shoulders relaxed with no tension in him at all. Paul wasn't just John's princess, John was also Paul's knight, and that comes with certain responsibilities as well as privileges.

John was overtly more stable when he had sex on tap. John and Paul actively lived together for months at a time where few people could get to them. Seems to me that Paul not only did his job but took a lot of pleasure in doing it and John reaped the benefits. Notably John didn't start falling apart until they stopped touring and his sexual access to Paul was bottlenecked. Then 1967 rolls around and John just sorta, moved in with Paul and noticeably got back on an even keel.

Many thunks are to be had my friend! Many thunks indeed and one of them is that Paul is a bottom. Not just that, an enthusiastic one that likes courting powerful and even emotionally unstable males capable of overpowering him.

Much to consider!

[exfil]

thinking about how soap and graves are in total sync before the betrayal in las almas. in agreement on how to proceed both with hassan (you can't be serious / let me finish this, actual) and el sin nombre (we came here to stop a missile, lets stop it / this is our one shot, so we take it) both rejoicing the same aspects of battle (it's a beautiful sight / you know i love that shit). easy comraderie, relying on each other (let's wrap this fucker up, graves / [soap], call me when you need me), complimenting each other (good eye, shadow-1 / need you with us, seargant), working in sync when disarming a missile (we gotta move, brother. alright?) casual touches and smiles on the bridge of the ship. seemingly aligned in motivation and action at every turn.

but then after the betrayal, and las almas, the confrontation in the tank happens. and it sets up graves and soap not only as enemies, but are narrative foils, interestingly enough, the contrast that becomes clear from their verbal spat is not about action, but about motivation. specifically, the meaning about being a soldier- they argue about the uniform (hiding behind that uniform / you wore that uniform), about loyalty to the army (i shed that skin / like a fucking snake) about being perserverance (you had to make your own little army because couldn't hack it in the real one) and about honour (knock that honour shit off, johnny).

and it reframes all their interactions before the betrayal - while they worked in complete agreement before, they arrived at the same conclusions from completely opposites angles. both see themselves as soldiers, as needing destruction for the greater good, even rejoice in it - but while both see violence as means to an end, but they differ but about the means. they don't disagree about the necessity killing, but about every aspect of what being a soldier while doing it entails. i'm up to doing my fucking job you should try it sometime. / my job is to kill the enemy. guess what you are. absolutely fascinating character dynamic, i wish we talked about it more

[tbhimnoteasyonmyself]

15 Day BL Challenge - DAY 24

Happy Christmas, to all those who celebrate!

Hoping everyone gets nice gifts and shares a good night with their loved ones. My family and I will be eating a Bacalhau no Forno (classic cod dish), as per Lisbon tradition, and I hope to get, at least, one album tonight, it'd make me very happy.

Anyways...

What Storyline/Trope Do You Enjoy and Wish to See More of?

Easy one.

You Make Me Want to Be Better

I think we see a lot of You Make Me a Better Person, where one of the characters is trying to actively change the other. But I think that's not such a good trope. Love, after all, is not about forcing anyone to do anything but about finding a safe place where you can fall back to in your road to being better. So, I think, having someone not only be that home but also the kickstarter to that road is really interesting and so much better.

They loved you as you were. You were the one who realized their love was so precious they should give it to someone better, so you're searching to be that person.

Perfect.

Here are some examples to illustrate:

SandRay (Only Friends)

Ray is depressed and an alcoholic and he acts arrogantly and selfishly to compensate. But when he accepts Sand's love, he accepts, at much cost, what comes with it: the realization that, yes, he is kinda broken, but even ppl like him are worthy of love and of a place in the world. And that he should fight for his future. Be someone better. So he goes to therapy and he tries rehab and he tries to be a good boyfriend. Is he perfect? Absolutely not. Do I think his road won't be bumpy? Hell no! But you don't have to succeed at first or even at all to be a better person. The effort is enough. And I appreciate that.

WenZhou (Word of Honor)

You might look at them and think I'm just talking about Kexing but I'm not. Sure the murderer to family father plotline is HYPER relevant to this conversation but we can't forget how much Zishu was also not fucking great with his assassination cult shit. This is a classic sodium chloride ship. Alone they have done terrible things. Together they've been a wonder to society, learning from the other the best there is in him and that, perhaps, sometimes, only truly they are able to see.

JackJoke (Jack&Joker)

Similar to WenZhou but without all the war crimes. This time is just normal time crimes dksjkdjskdjsd. I think we're quick to say Jack profoundly changed Joke just by being a good selfless person, which is absolutely true, but also we need to understand how Joke's vulnerability made Jack more open as well; how Joke's faith made Jack more faithful; how Joke's trust made Jack more trusting. Undeniably, they bring out the best in each other.

TongrakMahasamut (Love Sea)

Back to the beginning, this is 100% about Tongrak and how closed off, selfish, distrusting and arrogant he was and how loving Mahasamut and finally seeing the value in that love, made him a softer, calmer and more altruistic person. And none of this was because Mahasamut demanded anything bc that was the last thing he ever thought of doing, he gave Tongrak nothing but space and opinions. This was bc Tongrak came to this conclusion himself. And that's beautiful.

HONOURABLE MENTION: Poly, Ace and Aro Relationships

I just feel like we deserve companies and directors less afraid of being "offputting" or weirding out the fetishizers that lurk around. Queer people will never fit into the narrow-mindedness of the people who see us as objects for their own gains or non-human so why bother? Give us a whole series on characters like Plakao from Wandee Goodday, give us 3WBF (without Andrew Tate listeners), break a love triangle by making it a throuple, tell us more queer-platonic stories, make a plot where one of the protagonists doesn't succeed with their incessant bothering bc the other person just doesn't do romance, give us stories where there's 7 ppl, all romantically involved some way and they're all cool with it, DON'T BE AFRAID!!!

[venusiancarbondioxide]

after thinking about the last few rounds of "notable man is accused of sexual assault," and how they've gone down, i've come to the conclusion that most people don't actually care about victims of abuse as people, they just care about victims of abuse as tools they can use to bludgeon famous men. which, don't get me wrong, those men deserve a good bludgeoning, but shouldn't we care about those they've wronged? do the people posting takes about how neil gaiman and cormac mccarthy were shitty writers anyway have compassion and love in their hearts for victims, or are they more happy to engage in a parade of shitting on a shitty guy? and remember when we were all singing songs about drake being a pedophile? he did that shit, but like, really, does anyone actually care about the young women involved here?is there any love or protection being extended to them by society, or are we just bumping "not like us," six thousand more times and calling that feminist action? do the people joking about diddy's baby oil usage ever stop to think about the horror of it all? and yes, those guys are terrible. fuck every single one of them and also all the ones i don't have time to name. but shouldn't our first priority be the people they've wronged? how many victims of bill cosby or kevin spacey do you know the name of? because i don't know even one; the narrative is never actually about them and what they've suffered. the wider world cares more about the """taboo sex lives""" of powerful men than the actual suffering of nameless, everyday people (usually women, but no one's exempt). and that's depressing! i've been guilty of this before, and looking back on it, i wish i had spent more time thinking about the people harmed then clowning and decrying the person doing the harm. i'm not saying these guys deserve to have it easy, but it often feels like the first priority is shitting on them and not actually helping those who they've hurt. and hurting these people--that isn't necessarily restorative, you know? it doesn't actually fix the harm they've done. ideally, we should focus more on righting the wrongs than using those wrongs as weapons.

but that's ideally. i have no expectation that this is going to change at any point. it will go on and on and on, beyond the suffering of this world and into the next.

[queer-overwatch]

hihi! loveee this blog god bless both of you i'm tweaking waiting for venture to come out 😭😭 might be a bit odd but if it's something either of you feel comfortable writing about, could i request them with an audhd masc reader who's really struggling with executive dysfunction? like they're struggling to do anything and feeling really down and ashamed about it (⁠me rn T~T) thanks!!

Venture w/ Audhd!Reader!

It's not odd at all! We both get the same way fjsofndk, have some hurt/comfort for ya <3 -Frisk & Xorn

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(Good lord we need more Venture gifs-)

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This was stupid, you were stupid, having a job was stupid- everything was stupid!

It's so easy, all you have to do is just get up, grab a pencil, and write a few words! It's quite literally the easiest assignment you've ever gotten from the Wayfinders! Ever!

Yet for some stupid, unknown reason you just- couldn't. No matter how much you yelled at yourself or cried, feeling useless, you couldn't get up. It was pathetic, sad, pitiful, everything you didn't want to be and yet, were.

You were sure your partner would be able to do this, anyone would be able to do this, so why couldn't you!? Groaning, you desperately wish to push yourself up and out of bed, yet make no movement to do so.

Stuck in your own head, you don't notice Venture knocking on your door, or stepping into your room after a few minutes of waiting. You only acknowledge them after they scare the shit out of you by grabbing your shoulder.

"What the fuck-!" You're finally able to move, even if it wasn't thanks to the best circumstances-

"Sorry! Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you!" They laugh slightly, cheeks a bit darker than usual as they bend their knees slightly so they're eye level with you as you sit up in bed.

They slowly look you over, drawing their own conclusions as to how you're feeling and gently pushing you so you're on one side of the bed before grabbing something from the desk on the other side of your room and snuggling up next to you.

"So I'm gonna take just a wild, crazy guess here and say you haven't done any work today?" They hold out what they'd grabbed, apparently it was your assignment from the Wayfinders. Just seeing the paper sucks any energy you had left out of you as you groan.

They laugh pitifully at your misery, patting you on the back and setting the paper down on your lap. "I'll be honest, I haven't gotten a whole lot done today either. I'm a bit of a slacker myself from time to time!"

Venture throws an arm around your shoulders pulling you into their side softly as they nuzzle your cheek teasingly. "Buuut I've still gotten more done than you, so I'm on a winning streak technically! Though I guess I could be the best partner ever, which I already am, and help you out a bit."

Of course they'd turn it into a challenge, if there was one thing Venture adored, it was winning something. You could imagine their smug look already, as adorable as it was, you simply couldn't hand it to them that easily. Plus..the paper was already there, maybe you could just do a little, just so you would have it out of the way faster.

As you take the assignment from Ventures lap, you slowly start to write a few words, finally getting something done as Venture talks your ear off about how awesome they were.

About halfway through, it hits you that this was their attempt at helping, at getting you motivated. It was always easier to do things when they were around, and they knew it.

They still ended up with a stupid, adorable, smug smile on their face at the end of the day.

Hiii here are some headcannons to add on <3 -Xor

First of all it just sucks , wanting to do things but not being able to will yourself to do them is actually just awful.

Venture makes it a point just to generally check in on you and make sure you're feeling okay overall.

They then immediately delve into "how can I help you?" Asking you what you want or need to do but just can't seem to.

If it's something personal then they'll leave it to you unless you want their help. However if it's not then they ask you how you would perform the task and try to help you out with it.

The whole time they're really understanding and encourage you, not to do things but so you don't feel horrible about not doing them.

They try to find ways to interweave things you really enjoy doing along with said tasks , trying to help the tasks seem bearable in a way.

And if you simply can't, then it's a good time to relax and work out a half plan, for anything that needs to be done and try to do it layer.

They aren't going to push you to do anything just gentle yet loud encouragement and a couple nudges in the right direction.

[atticsandwich]

sorry but if ur entire reasoning on disliking mephisto banks entirely on u jumping to conclusions about his character without even giving him a fraction of a leeway that you do with the rest of the cast so u resort to calling him "shallow and abrasive" im just gonna assume you have some racial bias going on in ur head

look at it this way: how come when mephisto does something even slightly rude or mean towards mc (or any of the brothers) (which he doesnt even do often btw. it's ESPECIALLY LESS in nb besides lucifer) he's immediately irredeemable, unjustified for his actions, etc but whenever, let's say, lucifer (using him bc he's one of my favorite characters so yall can't put shit in my mouth where there is none) does something questionable in the same vein ya'll immediately jump to his defense or bring up personal character anecdotes? like don't piss me off??

it's so easy to figure out why mephisto is the way he is and why his courses of action lean the direction they do because the game quite literally shoves all of it in your face. some of ya'll just don't bother to read between the lines the same way yall do for the other characters because of ... reasons, whatever they may be, but then immediately interject on conversations that involve him only to say "oh i fucking hate him i wish he never existed" gee i wonder why you think that...

anyways, i digress. ofc i'm not saying you can't dislike a character (hello i literally felt nothing for solomon the first 6 months of me playing obey me until i gradually started to like him) but when ur dislike can be traced back to racial bias whether consciously or not... i would personally never open my mouth on the internet, that's all I'll say

[jitterbugjive]

I hate that people can easily find the stupid and shitty things I said and did over 5 years ago and jump to the conclusion that that's who I am, and there's no easy way for anyone to see all the efforts I've been making since then to NOT be that person. It's hard to find all my apologies and explanations because I didn't tag them all properly. I've tried time and time again to explain that I was mimicking the behavior bad adults gave me when I was growing up and that no one really called me out on that behavior until it was too late. I've tried to explain that since then I've been going through extensive therapy to separate bad learned behavior from who I want to actually be. There's so much more to this whole story than what one small chunk of the internet is making it out to be. People who actually know me know that this has been eating me up constantly and that I am always living in fear of losing everything to this drama.

especially since some of that info takes quotes out of context, jumps to conclusions that aren't true, or flat out lies about what certain artworks are depicting or meaning to convey (Like claiming a grown ass adult is a child even tho I have proof the character looks totally different as an adult than as a child, or claiming that a shock piece meant to make people reel back in horror was a fetish when it was not at all that)

It takes clips of things without the full picture and puts words in my mouth.

Here's a little something about how I used to talk about sore subjects: I would make a controversial sounding statement, but then I would explain myself in a way that would show the statement wasn't as bad as I was making it out to be. A lot of the time they just take that bad statement and paste it for the world to see, without giving any of that context of me explaining why I said that and why it's not what it sounds like.

I wish people were smart enough to spot cherry picking when they see it, but they just aren't. They'll see one sentence, and someone saying "look they're supporting this bad thing" and that's all they need to think that's what it is. People aren't smart enough to really ask questions and try to understand a situation, all they want is face value to tell them how to think and feel.

People aren't going to bother to listen to me because I'm "the bad guy" and I'll "say anything to cover my ass".

Listen, if I was really that horrible of a person, don't you think there would be more evidence out there that is very clear and blunt and not just making assumptions on what a thing means?

I'm never gonna sit here and say what I said and did wasn't wrong, it was, but it was not done because I was trying to be a terrible person or prey on anyone. It was because I was insanely misguided by someone who groomed me for 5 years since childhood and then abused me for another 3 in a really toxic relationship. And then I never got HELP for it, I never got therapy to cope with it, I never even realized until way later that 'holy shit this person was 7 years older than me and was taking advantage of me the whole time'. Like I knew they were abusive but adults being friends with children was so normalized in my head, and throughout my life many adults or older kids exposed me to things I shouldn't have been and it skewed in my head what was appropriate behavior or not. Or what was okay to draw or not. And a lot of my opinions were formed around this adult who convinced me things like loli/shota were fine as long as they were strictly made up, and he fed me a lot of nonsense about what does and doesn't make a predator to cover his own ass. I was seriously fucked up almost beyond repair for a long time.

I have a warning on my blog now that minors shouldn't be following me, I make it a point to not ever work with minors on projects or talk to a minor in any capacity beyond a fan to artist relationship. I understand now that it is my responsibility as a NSFW artist that I simply cannot have minors as friends. And being much older now I don't even want minors as friends anyway. When I was in my early 20s the age gap didn't feel as bad but I'm definitely feeling it now and I just don't want to deal with minors any more.

I'm not a danger to anyone, I'm not spewing apologetics for horrible people, I've been doing my best to be a much better and more informed person

And I have no easy way to prove any of it in a way that will matter

I'm only talking about this now because once again I was kicked out of something because someone found that old info and that was all it took. No one cares about my side of things.

And I don't know if this will ever go away

I don't know if I'll ever find any amount of comfortable success because I can't get rid of this shit and on the internet it doesn't matter how long ago you did something or how much you've changed, you did it and therefor you're bad forever.

I hate this shit so much.

[farfromdaylight]

OH I AM SORRY somehow i completely did not see that you had already answered some of these lmao. anyway have some more: 9, 16, 20, 21

NO NO i got a bunch at the same time and answered them together, you just happened to double up! not ur fault at all. THANK U FOR SENDING MORE, i shall tl;dr below!

9: worst part of canon

god i could answer this for so many series, i am always full of salt about Bad Canon.

can i say "most of zero time dilemma?" i know this isn't final fantasy but oh my god, what the fuck was uchikoshi smoking on this one. i thought it was okay but not great when i played through it the first time. when @shepherdtostars played through the series she streamed VLR and ZTD for me and man, ZTD does not fucking hold up lol. like all three games have their low points (especially in gameplay/mechanics/traversal but i'm solely speaking about story here). ZTD's conclusion to the series is fucking stupid at best.

to be slightly more on topic, i have not thought dirge of cerberus was good since i was a teenager with no taste and no understanding of Decent Storytelling and Characterization. (and even then i could recognize some shit was garbage, lmao.)

16: you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

my gut answer for this is zenos, lmao. i think @anneapocalypse summed up a lot of it in her similar response (i'm on mobile rn or i'd link). i think zenos is fine in stormblood itself and his ultimate ending at the close of 4.0 is fantastically done, ties together the narrative themes, etc.

i don't feel that way about endwalker. i don't think it's earned. i struggle with it to the point that i am going to replay stormblood (i haven't replayed it since 2020) and really dig into how i feel about it for my wol's story, then extrapolate from there for an ending that makes sense for endwalker. like i'm genuinely stuck on my 80% complete endwalker fic due to The Zenos Problem.

here's the thing, i don't hate his character trope? ennui is fine for a villain motivation and it ties into the themes of uncaring imperalism that stormblood puts forward. by contrast, i really disliked how zenos carried forward after that in the story. fandaniel didn't work for me. EW zenos didn't work for me. i have no desire to replay endwalker but i've reread and rewatched the scenes enough that i don't think it'll ever really work for me.

which is fine. i know i'm supposed to be choosing violence in this meme but it's fine that This Specific Storyline didn't click. there's a lot else i like instead.

20: part of canon you found tedious or boring

FF14 is too easy an answer for this. I love the game but it has some dead boring story and gameplay structure for MSQ. i have nothing against the character (i thought she was fine) but "speak with wuk lamat" illustrates the problem perfectly no matter how you feel about her. you need variance in the actual gameplay of telling your story, or it becomes too obvious to the player.

it works fine in visual novels and in many ways FF14 is very similar to that medium, but... it's not. it's a RPG. FF14 can't really do much of interest with this kind of thing due to the nature of its setup. i don't expect the kind of genuine exploration and discovery you get in other RPGs from it because it's linear by design. but please hide the bones of the structure so i can focus on enjoying the game.

21: part of canon you think is overhyped

final fantasy vii rebirth dev. square enix

lmao.

i really wish i'd liked it. in so many ways i should have liked it. it clearly, CLEARLY worked for many people. but it didn't work for me. remake was solidly middle of the road, but rebirth? good god, what is nojima smoking these days. why is aerith singing. why is zack here. what the fuck is that ending.

sigh.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

reread the rest thus far of lackadaisy and there's the both v easy & difficult task of gathering a shit ton but only a shit ton of excerpts (like every single page is a highlight i'm not exaggerating)

and every single element is superlative and the way it all only becomes More So....already mentioned the way the like smooth gradient shading made the successful evocation of 3D Shapes more noticeable, along w/the consistent geometries of character design & details in fabric folds; the way Lighting & Coloring only goes on to become more prominent elements only enhances that further. the compositions, backgrounds, pacing, angles....everything is so dynamic & expressive, such as including the expressions which you know i also Love / absorbed

going "hell yes for people to discover this superlative comic" then having to occasionally refresh past site traffic overloaded server errors like "nooo" but actually yes

whilest clapping & cheering for the fun of everyone who's been here a minute. My God the invigorating reward when again i started reading in '07 & the concept of rocky & freckle on a "proper" run had only manifested via fun official bonus art, then a literal decade later as it was actually happening in the comic like screeeeaammm i can feel it coming in the air tonight oh lord etc....i've loved following it, again, if i see another new comic page. i am going to be Enriched

i also really was right on the ball myself this time around like okay okay yep i have picked up on Everything, at least to the degree i can lmao. i love the mysteries. i love how Character Focused it is too ofc and there's no characters i'm uniterested in / dislike. you gotta point to one of them, truly, and i have been a [pointing at freckle] enjoyer these fifteen years but fr i am a connoisseur of everyone, i love that so many characters are a weird mysterious chaos element story driver in their own right. i considered mordecai more intently than ever, love his like ultra mystery (and that we leave off on him doing some detectiving even) and truly fun that like, the source of the more Immediate problems he keeps having in every damn interaction isn't the like [wow mordecai with the just diving into the hatchet murdering] factor so much as it's that he's generally like "i am just standing here" and is not nt in any way that matters and people insist on fucking with him on that front. the peak tragedy of him in a bonus comic getting bullied into having to dance with someone to Be Polite like i'm so sorry i wish you could be that ficus too. anyways intrigued with the marigold &/or mordecai mysteries including that it's like, how coincidental is it that he talks about marigold having a thorn in its side & the savoys' nickname for him is peekon = thorn. there is so much to consider, love that for us truly. and i'm rooting for mordecai & nicodeme's dynamic out here, is another conclusion....very enriched by comparing & contrasting that serafine nicodeme mordecai triumvirate with the rocky ivy freckle one, to be sure. im enriched

i'm also enriched by every footnote that's got like historical facts / research notes / [this is inaccurate for xyz prioritization but here's the disclaimer] explanations. i Love information. and everything else like i loooove this comic it's Soooo Fucking putting my hands to my temples and inhaling at length through my teeth

[rita-repulsa-ke]

shopping trip

Eve Polastri was a terrible shopper. Villanelle pushed a trolley ahead of her, head lowered, cap down, watching as Eve doubled back for the third time, looking quizzically at her list like she were interpreting hieroglyphics. Maybe she had awful handwriting, that seemed likely. Or maybe her husband had written it and he had awful handwriting, which also seemed correct, because of course he would be bad at everything. He was definitely bad in bed, she’d already decided. Look at him. Besides, clearly Eve was not being appropriately satisfied or she wouldn’t be obsessively hunting down female assassins.

Not that Villanelle minded, of course. Not that she wasn’t worth hunting down. Eve was lucky to be in her orbit, this close to her even if she hadn’t noticed it yet, because Eve was also terribly unobservant. A few times Villanelle had gotten closer than was sensible, just to see if Eve would notice, and had come to the conclusion that Eve was the kind of person it would be very easy to kill.

That was good, though! She was here to see Eve, not to let Eve see her. She didn’t want to let Eve see her yet, she wanted some time to watch, to observe how Eve stared into a freezer full of frozen food without opening it, looking at it or perhaps at her own reflection, with a concerned expression, a crease of her forehead and a wrinkling of the fine lines around her eyes.

Observation 1: Eve was weird. Also, very pretty.

Villanelle trailed after her to the bread aisle, and slipped into it, too close, pretending a complete fascination with bread. She expected Eve to grab something and move on, or perhaps grab nothing and move on.

What she didn’t expect at all was for Eve to whirl and face her, open her mouth and say, “Excuse me—“

*****

Oh shit oh fuck she’s right there, who does she think she’s kidding, that baseball cap wouldn’t fool a child. What’s she going to do, is she going to stab me?? She’s totally going to stab me! Keep moving, Eve, keep moving—what’s she doing now?

She’s looking at carrots. Why is she—she thinks I don’t know she’s here.

Hey, come on! I’m not blind, you know!

Okay, keep calm. She’s not stabbing you yet. You can handle this. You just have to get out of the store, get somewhere crowded, call Carolyn or the police or—

Only we really do need something for dinner. Maybe chicken or lamb? Or we could do vegetarian…

She’s following me, but she’s not getting closer. I wish she would. I could end this charade—these mushrooms look okay, let’s get some mushrooms—right now, just turn around and confront her.

Do it, Eve! Turn around and confront her!

Maybe carefully, though. Don’t want to set her off. I really don’t want to get stabbed in a Tesco.

Just say something like, ‘Hi, Villanelle. How have you been since I stabbed you?’

Yeah, that’ll go over well.

Maybe ‘Please don’t murder me or my husband’.

No, let’s not bring up the subject of murder first.

‘You look great’.

Hey, brain, let’s focus here please!!

Wow, they have so many types of bread these days. Gluten free, wheat, banana, fortified—she’s right there. She’s so close. You’ve got to say something. Something casual, something safe.

“Excuse me, do you know which aisle the coconut milk is on?”

Great job, Eve. Nailed it.

[luxrayz64]

star thoughts after reading btw

i think something can be defined as good by virtue of quality (ie being well written) but still be really fucking awful. warrior cats is that to me

obviously they fumbled the end of this arc bad. splashtail is ultimately poorly characterised, flies completely off the handle into a complete fucking caricature.

like, we do know why; curlfeather was fucking with him Bad through the whole book. we see in the prologue that this is why he killed harelight. but cmon dude, the immediate jump to threatening kits? feels like there should've been more of an arc to get to this point.

also evil atheist as per usual. people who reject god for whatever reason will murder your children

the way riverclan immediately folds too... I stand by my bitching abt tigerbabygirlstars attempted annexing of riverclan. but holy fuck the way they were written to just fall apart is insane. he had maybe three hardcore supporters? it felt like a lot of riverclan became suddenly insanely crueller than they were - am i meant to believe gorseclaw was living in fear, when he was blocking the shadowclan patrol on the island and jeering at them?

like this happened overnight too. this was insane

anyway

i do love nighthearts growth through this arc. I love how intensely he is Best Friends with frostpaw throughout. her number 1 cheerleader. I do still kind of wish he and sunbeam had broken up but not as bad as i wish moonpaw of next arc was their kid instead

the conclusion of sunbeam and berryhearts arc..... I don't know really

berryheart is, i think, a very real villain, in that she is a horror story that has happened to a lot of people

she's been radicalised into a hateful husk of herself. the people around her are either encouraging this in her or dont know how to help her. she was, more than anything, probably just scared. she wasn't like this before.

it's the kind of thing that happens all the time in real life, watching your mother or another beloved family member get radicalised and not knowing how to reach them as they become hateful, knowing that this is not the person they used to be

i do kind of like that they treated berryheart with so much kindness. with her family choosing to remember the person she was, rather than the person she died as. sunbeams reckoning with just how far gone she was and struggling to remember the kind mother she'd known vs the cruel cat she knows.

she still went to hell. she cannot make up for what she's done. but she did still love sunbeam. the love was there. even if it was dulled and twisted and hard to see or feel. whether or not that matters is different person to person. and it was important to sunbeam

god i wish curlfeather got that much though

i do actually like that curlfeather was too stubborn to apologise. that she feels frostdawn should have been grateful. I love that characterisation for her. I love that frostdawn doesn't forgive her. I think that sunbeam and berryheart are a great mirror to frostdawn and curlfeather, being two radicalised mothers who hurt their children to fix a perceived wrong, fucked it all up bad and then died to save their children but never apologised for it.

the love was there. sometimes that doesn't matter. it didn't to frostdawn.

god i still want to know more about her so badddd. I wouldn't mind seeing her return somehow like how tigerstar haunted the series up til oots

as for frostdawn herself, holy shit i cheered when she got to take down splashtail. i fucking love that she had to choose to come back to riverclan. that being part of this clan is hard and difficult and that they ask too much of her and always have.

even after everything, she still just wanted her mum. cries.

getting to see jayclaw too!! oh i want to know his thoughts so bad. he just wants things to be easy for her. I love that both her parents are a little bit selfish in their own ways. wanting to be with his daughter instead of encouraging her to live......

was also just very happy with how fucking climactic this book was, with a full on war finally FINALLY breaking out. this arc has been ridiculous promising war and then not fucking following through.

idk im tired of typing i probably have more to say. I think i liked this arc overall even though it stretched a little thin and fumbled in quite a few ways. it was good for wc standards though. was never 'bristlefrost stands next to the moonpool for several chapters hoping her boyfriend who she fell in love with off screen' bad.

[icedjuiceboxes]

For the ask game *hands you a Emily*

You know you think this would be easy considering she lives rent free in my mind but man what new is there to say when I said it all already.

How I feel about this character

Emily had a very big role to fill as the playable protagonist of dishonored 2.

From my perspective Female protagonists in sequels tend to be mocked and ridiculed, especially if they replacing the original male protagonist from the first game. Some examples include Athena from Ace attorney 5, and Abby from TLOU2 (though Abby is a special case separate from the argument). Female protagonists tend to get shit unless they fall under two categories. A) They're the protag of a new game (Aloy from Horizon) or B) The female protagonist started as an NPC before being Playable (Ellie from TLOU).

Emily falls under the second category, so the community was already familiar with her. Still didn't completely block her from criticism from all the gamer bros™️ who cannot stand playing as anything but as a cis white male bc God forbid they do otherwise.

I will literally defend any female protagonists with my life. Which is why she became my favourite character. Sure. I like mainstream shit. But I like the underrated shit even better.

I also think Optimistic protagonists tend to be less favored compared to their emo-ass counterparts and I don't know who hurt yall but can we please let a little hope into our lives-

In conclusion: I will defend Emily til I die and even once I get over my brainrot I promise you she is only reincarnated in a form of an oc. Hell I'll probably will name an oc directly after her. I did it once before and I'll do it again

All the people I ship romantically with character

Emily X Billie

TOXIC YURI / ENEMIES TO LOVERS LETS GO !!!

Emily X Alexi

Very nice. Very plausible. I think alexi should been Emily’s Canon romantic partner in game especially with how fast alexi was introduced and killed and there was have been more emotional connection to her. Wyman didn't need to exist and the brownie points of making them non-binary is pointless (and I'm saying that as non binary myself.)

Emily X Hypatia

I see the potential and I personally like to think that Emilt and Hypatia got along a little too well on the Wale and Billie was jealous the entire time and completely misresd the room between them. Because tell me why when Billie says "let's hope your friend (hypatia] doesn't burn the ship down" HAD SO MUCH JEALOUS UNDERTONE ??? toxic Yuri for the win

Alexi X Emily X Billie

Hear me out,,,, herding dog, sheep, and wolf situation. And no not a love triangle. Emily has two hands okay.

Emily x Mindy

They fucked once. Thats it.

Emily X Outsider

Once again there's potential here and i can see it. Idm seeing stuff but it doesn't excite me to personally create for it (though if I made it Yuri...)

My non romantic otp for this character

Outsider X emily

You can't tell me the outsider didn't have favorites (and that favourite was Emily.) The two are besties.

Emily X Alexi

Doomed one-sided crush and the oblivious best friend okay. (Alexi should have lived change my mind)

Emily X Hypatia

They're both nerds

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in Canon

Nothing because I respect the narrative as it present but also I am a comic creator with free will, delusion and pure spite and delusion and anything I want to see happen I've already thought about it. There's already an outline. it's in my wips folder. I am the change I want to see in my world

Just kidding I wanted a fucking voice line to discovering corvo's childhood home and daud confession. Where is it akrane. WHERE IS IT.

[starrysharks]

today, i watched "saw 3D". it was a moving picture.

i'm surprised that they went off the rails for the most part of this movie (not in a good way) like this. firstly, this movie probably has the worst starter trap in saw history 💀 it was framed so ridiculously that i thought "oh, they're showing a fake trap that's being done as a prank or something" until the girl actually got sawed in half. even when blood got spilled i thought it would be revealed as ketchup later, and it was supposed to be a parody of how people view saw as over the top and silly.... but no that prank was legit.... the traps in general were a bit mediocre here, and the gore was really meh especially with the bright pink blood. iirc this movie and danganronpa came out in the same year which is a funny coincidence.

generally this movie was just sillier than the others and it was hard to suspend my disbelief with it. i think the breaking point was the car crash trap. hoffman killing a bunch of racists is lowkey #BASED but the way it's more or less him saying "when the lights turn off we're ALL black" is kinda funny. as well as that, the weird fanservicey parts (like the girl's outfit in the first trap) also took me out of the story.

other than that, the story of the movie was actually an interesting concept - guy fakes being a saw trap survivor and actually has to go through a saw trap, but compared to the other saw trap house guys, this one kind of blends in. also two teeth related tortures in one movie i feel like they're kinda running out of ideas (but that's just me nitpicking)... though i don't want to be too hard on this movie. my favorite trap was probably the one with his friend cale as it was pretty unique, didn't rely on gore, and had a good stressful atmosphere.

ignoring the main trap house plot, the continuous story here was pretty nice. hoffman going crazy and killing everyone is entertaining (even tho he killed jill </3), and gordon's big reveal was also cool, even tho i knew it was coming because i accidentally got spoiled. i think him looking at his severed foot at the end in the OG bathroom kinda showed how he left behind his compassion/a part of himself died, which if intentional was cool symbolism. i assume this really was supposed to be the final conclusion, so it makes sense that they had so many callbacks to the 2004 movie. but i wish they had more clues towards it besides bringing up gordon as much as possible in the previous movies.

this saw was not like the other saws i saw. people weren't lying when they said it was the worst - the story, while easy to follow along, was a bit dull and very silly (i know i've said silly a billion times i'm not good with words), and it really feels like its leaning in to the misconceptions and stereotypes that people give to these movies. however, it did show a huge plot twist that had an alright buildup and good conclusion. i'm giving it a solid 1.5/5, with .2 points added for john kramer's fire fucking fit at the book signing holy hell that shit was raw. hopefully saw 8 shows us who the other pig heads at the end were (maybe the other survivors at the therapy talk?) and also redeems the franchise.