#advice adult life

[skullchicken]

If you have achieved something, please remember to observe a mandatory period of basking in the warm glow of your achievement like a lizard on a stone, lest you teach your brain that effort is futile, actually, because it didn't get to enjoy its happy chemicals, so, naturally, nothing good ever comes of trying. (And no, avoiding punishment is not a reward!)

I recommend, like, 5% of basking time in relation to whatever time you invested into achieving the thing minimum. And if you can't make your own bask, friend-brought is fine (= tell your friends!).

[queer-here-and-in-fear]

best piece of life advice when you want to change a bad habit: you cant remove something without replacing it. otherwise, you'll leave a hole that needs filled.

you want to distance yourself from that friend and interact less frequently? get closer with other friends, and talk with them more.

you want to drink less gatorade/soda? start drinking more water or tea.

you want to play less video games? play more card or board games.

you want to eat less junk food? cook more home meals or go to better restaurants where you can.

energy cant be created or destroyed, and that applies to your habits too.

[withinsight-motivation]

[reasonsforhope]

I don't know who needs to hear this, but especially with the end of the school year coming up soon, and a bunch of people about to leave high school or about to leave college, I just wanted to say:

Being an adult can be really nice, actually!!!

Like, okay, yeah, life can be fucking stressful sometimes, and there's definitely an annoying amount of paperwork.

But me and just about every single adult I know will agree: I would never choose to go back to being a teenager, even if I somehow could.

Insert obvious disclaimer that nothing is universal. But for people worried about aging or graduating into the next chapter of life, here's some words of reassurance:

When you're a teenager, your brain is extra mean to you. Like, neurologically. All of the changes it's undergoing really, really increase rates of depression/anxiety/etc. A lot of the time, literally just not being a teenager anymore is really good for your mental health

Less than five months out of high school, everyone I knew my age was like "Thank fuck we're no longer in high school." Once you leave high school and adolescence there's really just such a dramatic drop in petty bullshit. Shit that would have been a huge social humiliation or gossip in high school is really often just like, "Hate that for you, man." Boom, done.

When you're a teenager or a brand new adult, you're encountering so many problems for the first time ever. When you're older, you just. Have learned how to handle a lot more things. You know what to do way more often and that builds confidence

When you're an adult, other people generally don't care if you don't do things perfectly, because jobs and life don't work like grades. This was such a trip to learn, honestly? But when you are an adult or have a job the bar for success is usually just "Did you do the thing?" or "Did you do the thing well enough that it works?" or "Did you show up to work for your whole shift and look like you were doing things?"

Similarly, if you're about to graduate college and you're really stressed about it, fyi just about everyone I knew in college ended up very quickly going "wow, 'real life' is way easier." Admittedly I went to a school full of very stressed out perfectionists and the like, so I can't promise this is universal, but there's a very real chance that life will in many ways get easier when you graduate

WAY MORE CONTROL OF YOUR OWN LIFE

Literally I cannot overstate that last point. As an adult, you are (barring certain disabilities or shitty circumstances like abusive family/the criminal justice system/etc.) able to make most of your own decisions. If you want to rearrange your furniture, you can. If you want to eat tater tots at midnight, you can. If you want to get yourself a little treat, you can. You can sign contracts and make your own legal and medical decisions and not need a parent or guardian signature for just about anything ever again

You generally learn how to give fewer fucks

The people around you have also generally learned how to give fewer fucks

Even when things are shitty, being able to choose what kind of shitty a lot of the time can really be worth an awful lot

[raining-at-ease]

[theambitiouswoman]

How To Network 🤝📱💬

Have a Plan: Because everyone is important, it's really important to know what you're good at. Before you go to any networking event, figure out what you're good at – like things you can do well, what you know, and the people you know. Plan what you want to talk about, especially how you can help others, either now or later on.

Start with Who You Know: Talk to people you already know, like friends and colleagues. Ask if they can introduce you to others.

Go to Events: Attend conferences, seminars, workshops, industry meetups, and social gatherings related to your field of interest.

Use Social Media: Make profiles on websites like LinkedIn or Instagram to meet people in your niche online.

Elevator Pitch: Create a concise and engaging intro that highlights who you are, what you do, and what you're seeking. This way you can make a strong first impression.

Ask Good Questions: When you talk to someone, ask questions that show you're interested in what they're saying.

Provide Value: Networking is a two-way street. Offer your expertise, assistance, or connections to others whenever possible. When you start paying attention to what people can do, you might see that one person could help another person. Try to introduce people who you think have something valuable to share. When you make these good connections, you're helping the networking event go well. This will help you establish a good reputation and create strong relationships.

Say Thank You: After meeting, send a message to say you enjoyed the talk.

Follow up & Follow Through: If you said you would talk to someone later, make sure you actually do it and let them know you're still happy to help. If you promised to introduce one person to another, take a moment to make that introduction.These small things really matter to people, and just one introduction could make someone's life better.

Meet Different People: Don't just talk to the same kind of people. Meet people from different jobs and places.

Never dismiss anyone as unimportant: Don't think someone is not important just because of their job title. They could know important things or have helpful friends you wouldn't know about if you didn't give them a chance.

Join Groups: Be part of clubs or groups related to your work. You can meet more people there.

Be Yourself: Just be you. Don't pretend to be someone else.

Learn New Things: Keep learning about your interests. It helps you have better conversations.

[bemusedlybespectacled]

mini psa to anyone who needs it: if they didn't want people to order that meal, they wouldn't put it on the menu.

"but I always order the same thing every time!" is it on the menu? then they're making the same thing every day anyway, whether it's for you or someone else.

"but it's a 'childish' food like chicken tenders!" is it on the menu? can an adult order it? then clearly they expect adults to order it.

"but people might judge me for my meal choice!" it would be absurd and unreasonable to get upset when the restaurant is literally telling you, "these are the things we are capable of making and will give you in exchange for money" and you do exactly that.

[nenelonomh]

improving sleep quality

improving your sleep quality can have a significant impact on your overall well-being. here are some tips to help you get better sleep:

set a consistent bedtime: try to go to bed and wake up at the same time every day, even on weekends. this helps regulate your body’s internal clock.

limit screen time: avoid electronic devices at least an hour before bed. the blue light emitted by screens can interfere with your ability to fall asleep.

create a relaxing environment: make your bedroom a sleep-friendly space. keep it cool, dark, and quiet. consider using blackout curtains, earplugs, or a white noise machine.

establish a pre-sleep routine: engage in calming activities before bed, such as reading, listening to soft music, or practicing meditation. these activities can signal to your body that it’s time to wind down.

avoid heavy meals and caffeine: try not to eat large meals or consume caffeine close to bedtime. these can disrupt your sleep.

exercise regularly: regular physical activity can help you fall asleep faster and enjoy deeper sleep. just make sure to finish exercising at least a few hours before bed.

practice mindfulness: strategies like deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or mindfulness meditation can help reduce stress and prepare your mind for sleep.

[hillbillyoracle]

quick life tips that aren't worthy of a whole post

Your to-do lists are menus, not marching orders. I've gotten so much out of doing a weekly brain dump and then just selecting a few things out of it. Like "here are all the things I could do, not I'll pick a few that would improve my life in a meaningful way and a few that I just want to, the rest can chill". Unless you achieve enlightenment, we all die with unfinished business. It's chill. You're not a failure. It's just an option.

Create a capsule menu of shelf stable and long lasting fridge foods for when you don't feel like menu planning. Like a capsule wardrobe. Cooking oil is like your underwear, it's a base necessity. Then 3 sources of protein, 3 sources of fiber, 3 sources of volume. For us, proteins are canned chicken, eggs, and yogurt. Fiber is frozen vegetable mix, chia seeds, and legumes. Volume is rice, frozen bread, or oatmeal. Pick three spice mixes (Taco, Curry, and Cajun for us) and mix and match. Add some fun items like cheese, jam, and a condiment or two. Mix and match, throw something together. You can even roll on a dice table for it.

Morale items aren't pointless or wasteful. I spent entirely too much on coffeemonsterzco stickers recently. Guess who's updated their bullet journal and memory keeping calendar for several weeks now? Me. Guess who's already had it uncover and recontextualize medical issues? Also me. It's not pointless. Get the damn stickers.

Listing three good things everyday/gratitude is not overblown hype. It's not meant to dismiss negative feelings or even make you feel good - it helps you correct for you brain's negativity bias and create cognitive flexibility which in turn improves resilience and decision making. Way too many people get the wrong read on it. It's genuinely helped me lately even through some real unfun shit.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

This is the start of something new

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

life advice because i'm drinking a can of monster (and making it everyone's problem)

ALRIGHT HELLO MAGGOTS I PROCURED A TWIRLY STRAW AND I'M DRINKING A CAN OF MONSTER WAIT I JUST SAID THAT OH WELL TOO BAD. @littlewoggysaffle and @empressumbreon, my lovely children, and @robinprinceofchaos my favourite nephew, listen close for this is TOTALLY LEGIT AND AMAZING ADVICE. OKAY? OKAY.

(I'm listening to a Crowley playlist I made called Loserboy Rizz rn. Feels relevant. Like a disclaimer, sort of, about the tone of this post.)

ALRIGHT FIRST UP YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO TAKE YOUR MEDS REGULARLY AT THE SAME TIME OR THEY DON'T WORK APPARENTLY.

SECOND, MEN'S CARGO TROUSERS ARE A HOLY INVENTION, I CAN FIT MY COPY OF ANANSI BOYS INTO THE POCKET WITH ROOM FOR A WATER BOTTLE LIKE WTF. L TO CROWLEY AND HER WOMEN'S JEANS.

YOU ARE GOING TO ANNOY PEOPLE. IT IS INEVITABLE. YOU WILL ANNOY PEOPLE JUST LIKE THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO ANNOY YOU. AND THAT'S OKAY. IT'S OKAY TO BE ANNOYING SOMETIMES. THE ONES WHO MATTER WILL LOVE YOU ANYWAY. JUST LIKE YOU LOVE THEM.

CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF, IT IS NOT ONLY A WAR CRIME THE SECOND TIME.

STANDARDISED TESTING MEASURES NOTHING OF EITHER INTELLIGENCE OR KNOWLEDGE ABOUT A SUBJECT. IT'S JUST A MEASURE OF HOW WELL YOU CAN TAKE THE EXAM.

IT IS OKAY TO BE A STEREOTYPE. IT IS OKAY TO DEFY THE STEREOTYPE. YOUR LIFE IS NOT SOME KIND OF DIVERSITY REP YOU CAN BE WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT.

BODY COUNT DOES NOT REFER TO MURDER IN MOST SITUATIONS. BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU ACCIDENTALLY REVEAL.

WHEN IN DOUBT, THE DRAMATIC OPTION IS PROBABLY MORE INTERESTING, IF NOT MORE EFFECTIVE. AND HEY LET'S BE INTERESTING OKAY. TO OURSELVES, I MEAN.

UNLESS YOU WANNA BE BASIC WHICH IS FAIR BASICNESS IS A SOCIAL CONSTRUCT ANYWAY. EVEN SCIENCE CAN'T AGREE ON WHAT IS BASIC. DOES IT REFER TO PROTON ACCEPTORS OR ELECTRON PAIR DONORS OR -OH ANION DONORS OR WHAT? THEY DON'T AGREE. SO BE BASIC OR WHATEVER YOU WANT. YOU ARE AWESOME.

HUMAN BLOOD DOES NOT MAKE GOOD PAINT. THIS IS FROM EXPERIENCE. DON'T BOTHER TRYING.

IF YOU NEED TO TEAR OPEN THE MEMBRANES SURROUNDING A HUMAN BRAIN, JUST USE A SHARP OBJECT AND CUT THE DURA MATER. IT LOOKS TEARABLE, BUT TRUST ME, I'VE PLAYED TUG OF WAR WITH IT AND IT DOES NOT TEAR.

YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN YOUR "PRODUCTIVE" OUTPUT AND THE AMOUNT OF CASH YOU PUMP INTO AND OUT OF THIS FAILING ECONOMY.

I LOVE YOU. THAT YOU CAN BE SURE OF.

ALRIGHT *SLURPS MORE MONSTER FROM MY TWIRLY STRAW*

I'M OFF TO CAUSE MORE CHAOS, STAY AFRAID, MAGGOTS, FOR I WILL RETURN XOXO UWU

[reasonsforhope]

Hey adults: Why do you like being an adult? What do you like about your life?

A couple weeks ago I told the kids at my work that "Being an adult is pretty nice, actually," and they looked shocked, laughed incredulously, and told me I was the first person they'd ever heard say that

So clearly we adults need to talk about this way more often

The past few years have been hard for a lot of people, me included. Covid sucked. I lost three relatives and three pets in one year. Right after lockdown ended, I got badly injured, and ended up housebound for six months and (much more) disabled for two years, and that sucked too.

And you know what? Literally all of that was easier and better than being a teenager.

I like being an adult. I like my life. Even when it's hard, it's mine, and I am building to the best of my ability the a life that I want to live.

I talked about a lot of why being an adult is something worth looking forward to in my last post, so right now I'll simply say this:

I love actually knowing who I am now. I love that I learned and am learning what I want and need. I love that I have independence and autonomy and don't get treated like a kid. I love the fact that I'm the one who gets to decide want I want to do and what I need. I also love that I'm learning to sew. I love that I've had pet rats, and next will have a pet cat. I love that I got top surgery. I love the way I've decorated my room. I love traveling to visit and crash and even just hang out and do work with my friends, when I can. I love that I started reading good news every day, and that I actually have hope for the future, and that I started this blog and have been able to help give so many other people hope, too.

So, here's a call to action for my fellow adults: comment or reply or tag what you like about being an adult. What you love about your life.

Let's give some kids some reasons for hope.

[joshua-beeking]

If I have to share just one small wisdom that could benefit many to read, especially in fandom spaces nowadays, it would be this:

You aren't special or above others.

The moment you think otherwise is the moment you lost sight of the very concept of community and it all becomes a twisted way of scrapping for validation and self-esteem that will inevitably come crashing down the second people don't shower you in it.

It doesn't matter what you contribute to a fandom, how much followers you got, how much numbers your posts makes, what your jobs entails, what knowledge you have, if you are an artist or a writer, etc...

If you start thinking of other people as less than you for arbitrary reasons and you need to feel like the "head" of whatever space you are in: There's some serious reevaluation you need to do to fix that behavior and remind yourself: " Everyone is equal, these are fellow human beings."

Treat everyone equally. Small or big. We are all here to share love of the same things and boy do some people need a reminder.

[raining-at-ease]

[inkwell-chronicles]

If you care for someone do not let anything go unsaid.  You will regret it when time runs out And it is too late to say anything.

[bitchesgetriches]

Hello, can you or your followers please give some words of encouragement about how careers aren't linear? And how that what you study in college/university isn't always what your career is in, and how that is ok? (And any words of advice for how to figure out, post-college, what it is you actually want to do? Or that it's ok if that process takes a while?)

Feeling lost and not where I should be in life because life happens and circumstances change.

Thank you!

My darling child... you are doing JUST FINE. In fact, we're proud of you for approaching your future career prospects with such thoughtfulness!

I myself went through a pretty big career transition. I wrote about it in these articles (which you should read because I am an excellent writer and also very reassuring):

I Lost My Job and It Might Be the Best Worst Thing That’s Ever Happened to Me 

My Career Transition Succeeded When I Gave Fewer Fucks, Made More Friends, and Had More Fun 

Also, Kitty has written a lot on post-college career choices. She is brilliant and wise and you should absolutely follow her advice:

Your College Major May Not Prepare You for Your Job—but It Can Prepare You for Life

High School Students Have No Way of Knowing What Career to Choose. Why Do We Make Them Do It Anyway?

The Actually Helpful, Nuanced, Non-Bullshit Way to Choose a Future Career 

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