#advanced depression

[punkinvsblogging]

I’m starting to wonder if this book is affecting me a lot more than I think lol

[yourheartinyourmouth]

i am the gods saddest wettest little meow meow

[aroaceleovaldez]

tbh my latest biggest theory for why HoO and onwards is such a dramatic drop in quality and consistency is just. Rick stopped making teaching guides.

Like, the Lightning Thief teacher's guide is SUPER in-depth with even stuff like sources about middle grade child psychology and exact specifications of where he's applying that, explaining what different character's goals/motivations are, their dynamics with each other and their environments, etc etc. Even specifying which specific myths certain plot elements are supposed to reference or be about.

That stuff just doesn't exist for later books. There's activity guides and smaller, significantly more simple teacher guides for later books but they don't go into anywhere NEAR the same level of depth. The TLT one is a full lesson plan that breaks down the book at every level and explains what's going on and more or less why Rick did that. The others are all basically just glossaries of terminology and some simple question guides.

And they didn't even use the TLT teacher's guide for the Disney+ show because they clearly aren't adhering to any of what's discussed in that breakdown of the book.

By creating a teaching guide alongside writing the actual book, that's forcing you to document what you're doing, why, your sources, and information about your characters and the story they're in. It's like an even more in-depth version of a series bible. But that's lacking for later books (and etc) and it shows because that level of thought and depth and attention just isn't there anymore.

[wszczebrzyszynie]

hello! i've seen you've mentioned the sibling relationship between przemek and lena in your last post and the topic seems really interesting. would you have some time to get into it more? or are there any already published posts of yours talking about them?

truth be told i dont remember what i talked about already on here exactly but im pretty sure this will be the first Przemek-Lena relationship mini essay to post. well either way as always its under the cut and thank you for being interested in my ocs 💐😊 if dns was real (a real piece of media not a real story) and for some reason started doing huge numbers i firmly believe Lena discourse would be the most divisive

Lena is at the beginning the only person in Przemeks life he gets to somewhat depend on; despite her being younger (Przemek is 17/18, and Lena is around 15), in his eyes she was an anchor to him of sorts, someone to hang out with, and, once he gets hired, someone to come back to. While both of them are very family-oriented in general, the relationship they have with one another was for the longest time most important to them, and went back to back with both their ages (theyre the closest in age compared to the rest of the family) and their closely shared experiences, compared again to their other siblings - after Przemeks accident, it was Lena who took care of him the most (their father has already passed away at that point, their mother wasnt exacty capable of doing that at that point in time (after which Przemek became her favourite of sorts; she latched onto caring for him after the worst has already passed, not out of malice, but more as a hm, compensation, and out of guilt). This post accident time is the most meaningful moment that formed their relationship going onwards, establishing Lena as a sort of... caretaker figure in his mind, someone who didnt leave him and who he could depend on. For Lena this wasnt exactly the case - while she wants her family to be able to depend on her, in her mind it was a more equal relationship, she saw Przemek as the same as her; they both had to navigate their family falling apart as young children, had to take care of themselves and of each other, having to mature too fast, lived through Przemeks accident together, and now got to go into life with all that baggage. They were never fully honest with each other, and never talked anything through, but they didnt have to, as the idea of their relationship they had in their heads was enough for them. This disonance is what sets the stage for Przemeks overarching arc

Him leaving to work in the palace was different for both of them. For Lena it was loosing a part of herself, the only person she thought could understand her, but she was willing to go through it knowing its for greater good. For Przemek it was a lot of regret and fear of other people, lacking the person he depended on. And while Lena, who now is deemed the dependable one for good, the most stable pillar in their family, stays the same at their family home, Przemek gets to change and grow after meeting new, often outcasted and strange people. They both start as tools to be used and be useful, but where Lena stays that way even in her brothers eyes to some extent, Przemek doesnt. In some way, the role he made Lena fit into in his head, was instead taken by Ryba, in a much clearer and reciprocated way. Przemeks unability to see Lenas struggles, him putting her on the pedestal, someone to save him, despite her still being a child, is mirroring the way their mother sees Przemek; something he recognizes she does, something that makes him into such a mess in the first place, but doesnt do so in himself and his treatment of Lena. With Ryba on his side this issue doesnt reappear - they start as strangers, in a vastly different enviroment, and even when they end up codependent on each other, its more similar to the way Lena saw Przemek, than the way Przemek depended on her. And, under Rybas influence (and Mikitas unbearable behaviour), Przemek gets to start mentally leaving his depressing family home

Its Przemeks slow change that starts triggering the rift between them; it esentially questions the before unquestioned status quo of the siblings relationship. Przemek leaves his home for a month, comes back for two days, and leaves again. And in those two days every time it feels like he comes back a different person. Hes not afraid anymore, or at least, not of the palace, but starts being anxious over his home. Hes more open about it, too, at least to Lena. He grows less reserved, more content and, generally, more happy. While in the beginning she is able to ignore it, after each visit she slowly realizes shes being left behind. To her, this is losing a part of her life that was constant, that she too could depend on; something that made everything less dull, someone she loved and who loved her, as cold and tough as that love often was. Shes becomes disgusted by her brother - to her, hes getting weak, hes selfish, and even if hes now happier, she wasnt allowed the same chance. Instead of now sharing their pain together, she is now completly alone, being abandoned by the only person she thought understood her. And this resentment is something that carries on even after he apologizes; she cannot fully forgiving him now that she knows they are not and were never the same. While it never was Przemeks full responsibility, he made her feel completly alone in a house she already was a ghost in, and all he can do now is work to become someone she could trust again; and all she can do is try to move on. She never sees him off when hes about to go back to work after that, always leaving first on her own terms

[verytendou]

One of my favorite things about world trigger is how natural and realistic the world building feels and while its obvious the mangaka puts a lot of thought into every aspect of it one of absolute favorite parts is how gossip-y everyone in border is. Like the only secrets at Border are the really really big ones (certain people being neighbors) and everything else is just free game, even if its not necessarily true.

Osamu tied Kazama in a fight? Immediately social headline news. Chika can’t shoot people? Known before she even says it out loud to someone not from Tamakoma. Tamakoma-2 wants to make the away team? Such common knowledge it comes up in their commentary and is even a strategy used against them. Osamu tried to recruit Jin? Probably all any A-rankers talked about for a week. Ko was so good Arafune quit? Still talked about to this day. AND MORE

And its so great because a majority of the time the gossip isn’t malicious its just a by-product of what happens when you put a bunch of 12-20 year olds in a workplace together like yes obviously people are going to talk and it works! It feels natural! No character even ends up feeling overly gossipy because everyone takes part in the gossip. And it’s amazing. It’s wonderful. I love watching someone say something outloud and immediately realizing everyone in the base (including the actual career adults there) is going to know about it in a week. Its fun! It makes sense! It makes the world that much easier to insert yourself into!

World trigger i love u!!!!!!!!

[sameyotherside]

An apology Nanami drawing for taking so long to update my fic 💀🙏🏽

[13eyond13]

a headcanon I just realized I have is that Light often has a lot of trouble living in the present moment and L often has a lot of trouble NOT living in the present moment. Light is a huge planner and forward thinker and accustomed to grinding through unpleasant current circumstances in order to achieve optimal future results. L is very keen on living for today and whatever is currently tickling his fancy and giving him the most excitement and pleasure and challenge, and prefers not to dwell heavily on the future nor the past. And I think that both of them normally feel uncomfortable and resentful if they are forced to do the opposite of what they are normally accustomed to doing.

[rukanthevampirequeen]

correct me if i'm wrong but Jax is not a Tumblr sex man..but Kinger is?

[squeakadeeks]

theres an irony to drawing the transient characters in my physics class since i intend transient to be an infotainment/a physics education series....so in a meta way they are serving their purpose

[kneelingshadowsalome]

A gentle reminder that I'm taking a break from answering asks & from writing overall, but I haven't abandoned my Christian Woman fic 🩷 The last 2 chapters are going through an editing process so please be patient, you won't be left high and dry with it :)

[kentuckyfriedmegumi]

well, i am sorry in advance, but i wrote a terribly depressing, angsty, NO COMFORT, NO HAPPY ENDING one shot because my friends got into my head too much

read it, if you dare

[daily-whistlepaw]

daily whistlepaw until ki becomes PoV day 1387

[caffeinatedopossum]

No one:

Me when the plans change:

[allowed-to-take-up-space]

Something I've been thinking about a lot is the way my father would critique and stereotype every single person he saw, yet still insist he wasn't judgmental.

We are in the car, my dad driving, me in the passenger seat. I am a child, maybe 11 years old. My father points at the girl standing on the corner, waiting for the light to change. "Yikes. Good thing she's out walking. Looks like she needs it. Bet she's hoping she'll fit into the outfit she's wearing someday."

"Dad, that's not a nice thing to say about someone."

"It's fine. She can't hear me. I would never say something like that to someone's face. You know, MY dad was homophobic and racist, so at least I'm better than that."

Maybe that girl on the corner didn't hear my father. But I did. And I've never forgotten it. Or the time I finally admitted to him - after YEARS of being a suicidal teen - that I was extremely depressed, and he told me I was one of those kids making shit up for attention, because HE had been in a car crash at one point and experienced REAL depression.

And yet I always ponder, now, how I could possibly be so insecure. Why I cannot just accept myself and move forward. Why I look at myself in the mirror with disgust.

It's HIS voice that echoes in my head. It's HIS nasty remarks that I remember. It's HIS judgmental opinions that I have to rid from my brain, every single time they pop up, because I KNOW better.

Even though I haven't spoken to my dad in several years now, the way he treated myself and others invades my mind constantly. His negativity has shaped so much of me - of my LIFE - and last time we DID speak, he still refused to take any accountability for the multitude of ways in which he hurt me (this specific topic not even covering 1/10 of the ways in which he did).

Furthermore, this makes me think about all the people who utter "harmless comments" about others when they don't think someone who might be hurt by that is listening. I've been privy to many conversations that have left me feeling hollow, without the folks making those judgmental comments realizing that what they've said applies to me. And I don't often feel safe enough to stand up for myself.

I wish folks could realize that openly passing heinous judgment on strangers is a gateway to passing judgment on people you care about.

"I would never say something like that to someone's face."

You said it to mine.

[melrosing]

I'm just a lurker in the fandom who occasionally comes to your blog to read your Jaime posts, but as someone whose mom died eleven years ago, I can tell you it does get better eventually. It just takes forever.

aw thank you so much and I’m so sorry about your mum. I’m still kind of in disbelief?? like what the fuck he fully died?? sounds fake. but once the funeral is done maybe I’ll start moving along idk. either way thank you so much for your message, I really don’t want it to hurt this bad forever so that is genuinely reassuring 🥲

[moonstoneistired]

I’m very sorry to anyone who endured my frankenstein’s monster of a high school au chatfic not chatfic sort of murder mystery psychological found family and unfinding the family confusingly stuffed full of legend of sleepy hollow references emotional meat grinder of a fanfiction I wrote last year. I will do it again