#this is not a vent btw
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Just saved a note to myself in my drafts so here's ANOTHER note to myself:
JAMIE YOUR DRAFTS!! YOUR DRAFTS JAMIE!!
#for context i get REALLY bad anxious and depressed during my period#and since i can tell its coming this time#( usually i am already too deep in the trenches to realize until it is too late)#im leaving post it notes for future me#so his dumb ass doesnt start havin his dark thoughts#anyway i will likely be excrutiatinglt mentally ill next week so sorry in advance lmao#this is not a vent btw#and pls do not be concerned i litetally be going tjrouhh this once a month
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[TW blood and self mutilation]
yall ever just wanna-?
#egg doodles#rottmnt#rottmnt fanart#rottmnt leo#tw blood#tw gore#tw self mutilation#???? idk how else am i gonna to describe this man????#save rottmnt#rise leo#this is not a vent btw#i should draw more fucked up stuff tbf :3
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I am angelic
I crave to watch people, to help others, but to be unperceptible, just to aquire and amass knowledge and use it for others. I was meant to be to be mysterious and unfamiliar, unknown but comforting. I have a strong sense of justice, but my moral code is not shared by many humans. I want to be kind, but my kindness is alien to them. I should not be percieved, for my unnatural self soon is exposed any time it happens
I am Lawful Neutral because I am equal selfish and selfless, my code is unyielding. Everything has to be according to the divine plan.
I am robotic
I am governed by programs, algorythms. For daily life, for conversations, for existing. I am unnatural and weird. I am literal and logical. I don't comprehend tone, only plain words. I need clear instructions in order, or else my whole program breaks down. I am Lawful Neutral because I care not for selfishness or selflessness, just for everything to be how it is supposed to be, for everything to be according to algorythms.
They are intertwined at its core, as in me being a robot is deeply engrained in being an angel. Both are slaves to something greater than them, both cannot function 'properly' in human society.
They complement each other, I would not be the same angel without being a robot and I would not be the same robot without being an angel
#what Im coming at is that robots and angels are inherently autistic /lh#but yeah my autism is. definetly a big part of all that *gestures vaguely*#angelkin#divinekin#robotkin#otherkin#this is not a vent btw#this was not proofread#this is just ramblings
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yes I'm trilingual 😎 (I can't speak any of the languages I know)
#I explain myself better in English but I'm better at speaking Spanish but I'm better at writing in italian#But also I suck at all of those things#This is not a vent btw#I like being trilingual#I like it a lot. I'm just really bad at remembering words in any language#meitoswords
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EDGEF1SH TIME LETS GOOOO
little bit of story behind this, i was experimenting w music making and accidentally made a 15 second cover of #8 regret that made me picture strong emotion so i drew it :thumb up:
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every now and then i realize i genuinely don’t have a personality of my own. its not necessarily a bad thing because im around people most of the time so i just absorb and mirror their personalities, and when im not around people im watching videos with people in them or thinking about characters etc etc etc. but it’s disconcerting to realize cause i watched like a 3 hour play through of class of 09 while doing my homework yesterday and then had a conversation with my mom and realized i was speaking and talking and thinking like Nicole? and i was like damn i don’t wanna be like Nicole! but yea it’s weird, bpd is weird
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Tbh I would have kms so long ago but Im too pussy for that
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HI JAMIE so i just wanna ask a queshun... i am NOT trying to pressure you, you do not owe us anything, bht i was just curious about the jason and skunk asks thing, im wondering if youre still doing it
if you dont wanna answer thats totally ok but im just rlly curious, okay bye ❤️
hi anon!
I DO plan to do this in the future!!
Unfortunately, right after posting the intro, a big wave of depression I had been avoiding hit me all at once. I couldn't find the motivation to draw anything at all, and I couldn't bring myself to do it���️ I figured I'd put it on hold to take some pressure off for the time being, until things got better.
Thank you for asking!! Honestly I'm genuinely super happy people like to see my content, especially skunk and jason!! And I'm super honored that people are participating!
I received a lot of asks, and don't worry, i haven't forgotten! Once things smooth out, I'll be right back to your regularly scheduled QnA!
#this is NOT a vent btw#just explaining what went down for the last month or so!!#ive been sick for the past couple days too#so ive been sleeping a LOT#im hoping once this sickness goes away ill be refreshed and reset a bit! (my sleep schedule has NOT been good lately)#jamie'srants#thanks anon!#ask skunk and jason#tickle community
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it's so interesting that now, when i live through trauma, i can sense my brain just pushing those memory slip away, out of my skull by reflex. it can be retroactive (which is pretty tiring) but i can also be living the moment and i just feel i won't remember this after tomorrow afternoon. because my brain knows whatever is happening is malevolent for my integrity and won't retain it
#if such process happens to you too please tell me ... i'm interested#rambling#this is not a vent btw#but i find it really interesting that like i can feel what's happening in my brain and how it works...#this makes me believe i'll have dementia before long /serious
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late night thoughts idk why
but i feel like i have no idea what people think of me on here, or on twitter
i dont really post like TOO much about myself and even if i kinda do i always limit myself from actually being like...argh idk how to explain it
i just wonder if people think i’m weird in a bad way for my fan art, i feel like i have to put a disclaimer on everything i upload cuz idk what ppl will think X_X
#i used to not care but like a little tiny part of me is like..i wonder if people think this is TOO cringe or TOO indulgent HAHA#this is not a vent btw#like its just my genuine curiosity and thoughts LOL
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im beginning to feel like a trapped anxious animal which is what happens when i spend the weekend in my dorm and dont go anywhere and well anyway i feel like im gonna start scratching the walls and crying
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Unfortunately,
I have been cursed with the thought that I’ll be ignored and not be thought about anymore if one of my closest friends talks with another person and hangs out with them more then me that I’m not included, which will make me jealous .
Talk about relating to Shelly from dandy’s world—
#this is NOT a vent btw#it’s just something about me#idk what is it#prob bc it happened to me a lot of times that my head just thinks “does anyone think of me?#meh it’s confusing
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everything is funny & i love being alive
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I have a. Weird situation with my relationship status with someone ever since i started this school year. I don't know if we're divorced or not.
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I AHGE eating junk food but lols don’t care it’s so tasty in the moment but then post eating it I feel so sick
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I'm starting to understand why many lesbians, but ESPECIALLY black lesbians are just straight up mean. If I have to hear another gaggle of people try to redefine stud/stem again, somebody is catching a femme-coded fist to their solar plexus. Like, tighten tf up.
#(ptl)#black lesbian#lesbian#nblw#wlw#nblnb#lesbian sft#femme4stud#femme4stem#if you're not a black lesbian i dont wanna hear what you have to say about this btw#vent?
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