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missathlete31 · 1 year

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Left Behind Chapter 4

Previous Chapters can be found on my Masterlist Here

Chapter Summary: Javy finds an unexpected ally in his thinking and Hangman loses a bit of himself

Warnings: Prisoner of War- brutality

It was three weeks after the funeral, when Javy was feeling the perfect mix of tipsy and emotional, that he first said out loud his thoughts on Jake not being dead.

The Daggers were on their grievance leave and though Mrs. Machado begged her son to come back home to New Orleans with them after the services were over, Javy refused, opting to stay with a couple of the other pilots in Miramar. The team seemed to be on a revolving schedule, a few going home each week while others stayed local. Javy had a feeling it was so he himself was never left alone and he appreciated the effort, accepting their phone calls and text messages every time.

Coyote's anger with the team over their inactions during the mission to help Jake had subsided from that first day on the carrier. The time between his outburst and the Seal Team finding Jake's crash site had been a lonely blur. He had turned away from the others, no matter how much they had pushed, and he hurt himself because of it. He hadn't been sleeping, his dreams filled with the images of planes going down and Jake's face screaming at him about leaving him behind. He hadn't been eating, his stomach tossing every time he even tried because he thought about a starving Hangman trapped in wreckage. He hadn't been living, cooped up first in his bunk on the carrier and then back at Base Housing, holed up under the covers in his bed as he mourned the only man who ever had the guts to bully him out of his own head.

Javy assumed he would be alone with his grief when the news of a body being found in Hangman's jet arrived but instead the team rallied. Even Captain Mitchell and Admirals Simpson and Bates seemed to make it their personal missions to ensure Javy was taken care of during some of the most difficult weeks of his life. It was hard to stay mad at them. It was hard to hate them.

Of course it wasn’t always easy to just completely forgive. In the three weeks since the funeral and four weeks since Hangman went down, Javy had those challenging moments, when the white hot rage of injustice burned inside the man. When he wanted to hit something, throw something, scream until his throat was nothing but a raspy whisper. Days where he lashed out at everyone and everything around him. But eventually he learned to quash those feelings, the long days of watching guilt eat at his teammates hurting Coyote more than he thought it could.

Staying mad was just more pain he would be adding and at this point Javy had already hurt enough to last a lifetime.

None of the Daggers were doing particularly well with the loss of Jake Seresin. Javy wished that his best friend could see that he actually was well-liked and respected (no matter how much the blonde deemed himself 'the bad guy'). Nobody laughed like they did before, nobody joked, nobody teased. They all had nightmares, Javy could tell, but they never talked about it. Their drinking habits became heavier, especially those that flew the mission, and it wasn't unusual to hear the sounds of one or more of the team throwing up in the bathroom before the end of the night.

Rooster was the worst of course, being the one that Jake had taken the missile for. Everyone could see the shadows under his eyes become more and more pronounced as the weeks went on. Javy thought he would feel some kind of joy from it but instead he just felt sad. Jake made his choice in the sky that day to save Rooster for a reason and it wasn't so that Bradley could spend the rest of his life feeling at fault because of it. If Javy was a stronger man, a better man, maybe he would have reached out and told Rooster this. He knew from the way Maverick, Penny and Phoenix seemed to hover around the mustached pilot that they were all telling him the same thing, but Coyote knew the words would mean more from him. He tried, numerous times wandering over to the depressed Lieutenant, huddling next to him over a bar top both trying to find the right words at the bottom of a bottle, but he never did, and Rooster never talked either. The silence between them speaking the wrong kind of volumes.

The group stayed mostly at the Hard Deck every night, becoming a sort of ritual, gathering around the dart board and pool table that they always used to but without anyone playing. No one had the heart anymore. They were a subdued group, usually one or more of them would visit the cemetery at some point in the day so Hangman was fresh on everyone's minds. Javy himself had been going every day so far, trying to understand what his heart and gut were telling him every time he clutched the tombstone with his best friend's name etched in it.

Because something didn't feel right about it and Javy just couldn't understand why he felt this way.

When he tried to think logically, taking his heart and his emotions out of it, the man assumed it was because of all the unknown variables. Jake Seresin was dead but no one really knew how.

Was he killed the minute his jet was hit by the missile? A dead stick before anyone could even react?

Or did he sit in his cockpit after saving Bradshaw and try to gain back some control? Was his mind struggling to stay calm and remember his training only to die on impact with the snowy ground? Did he try to eject? Did the ejection not work? Were his last moments spent counting down the moments until the flying coffin he was trapped in met foreign soil?

Or did he survive the crash? Fanboy and Bob said they didn't see an explosion so maybe Jake was able to salvage his landing? Was he stuck in the broken plane, injured and cold, looking up at the sky for some help only to see everyone fly away? Did he turn back to try to free himself only for some of his left over fuel to meet a spark from his dying engine and create a fireball strong enough to char the pilot's remains?

Or was he found by someone, or multiple someone's, who stumbled across this trapped man and tossed a grenade and watched with glee as an American life was lost.

Every one of these scenarios broke Coyote's heart but nothing felt right. Was Jake Seresin dead? That was his biggest variable because every time Javy asked himself his gut answer was always 'no' first.

He didn't plan on telling anyone what was going on in his head, unable to take the looks of pity or concern that would flash on the team's faces. He figured he would just live with it, this unanswerable question, the truth of his best friend's demise. It would be awful but it would be his burden to bear, until he himself met his end.

But something about that night at the Hard Deck made Javy's lips loosen. Maybe it was the tequila Fanboy was feeding him, or maybe because some random stranger played the song 'Slow Ride' and Bradshaw had to disappear outside with Phoenix for the remainder of the song and a few minutes after. Maybe Javy just wanted someone to share his troubles with. Either way he sat there on the barstool as the low voices of his teammates mingled around him and traced along his glass of beer. With no prompting and no preamble, he opened his mouth with a long sigh.

"I don't think Jake's dead" Javy announced softly, his fingers still tracing the condensation on his pint. He didn't look away, afraid to see the reactions of the others but he could tell that all other conversations had stopped. A tentative arm reached for his, the purple painted nails indicating that it was Halo. Coyote turned his head to the left to see the woman watching him worriedly, biting her bottom lip. "That's-" she paused as though thinking of her next words carefully, "that's completely normal Javy, sometimes it's hard to process-"

He shook his head immediately, "It's not a processing thing" he told her, told all of them listening, "I know Jake was shot down and I know there is a body in Jake's grave. I just- I just don't think it's him."

Payback was on his other side, clearing his throat to get Javy's attention. Before he spoke, the man's eyes flickered to the others before settling back on his distraught friend, "Why would you think that?” he asked calmly, much calmer than the situation called for.

“I don’t know, just something in my gut” Coyote finally swiveled in his seat facing the rest of the team. Fanboy held his drink half way to his mouth, a comical pose that held no merriment by the look of sympathy on the man's once jovial face. Omaha was next to him, looking uneasy, his eyes trekking to his WSO for guidance in how to proceed. Halo kept her arm on Javy, tight, reassuring, but her face was amiss, her grim smile too forced, her mouth opening but only the sounds of mumbled platitudes coming out. Rooster had disappeared again, without Phoenix this time, no doubt Maverick or Penny taking him aside after the pain of the song from before. With no Bradshaw and no Bob, who was home visiting his parents, Natasha looked lost, staring up at Javy's face with a forlorn look of hope, as if she was waiting for Javy to say he felt the way he did because he had Jake stashed in his room, the blonde alive and well and excited to have pulled off the greatest prank in the history of the Navy.

But Javy didn't have that proof; he had no proof actually, just a gut feeling.

"I know it sounds crazy-" he began again.

“It doesn’t” Payback patted his back softly, sliding over a glass of water as though that could cure Coyote's confusing words, "and it's not crazy to feel that way man."

"It's not" Halo reassured as well, mustering up some agreement from the rest of the squad, “when someone passes so suddenly it can be hard to-“

"I told you" he didn't mean to snap, but Javy's temper was so short nowadays, so quick to burn like they told him his friend did. "It's not about processing; I really don't think it was him in there. The body was so burned maybe h-he-" a small sob almost shattered Javy's resolve but he held firm, "maybe it wasn't him."

Omaha shook his head, "But it was his plane man."

"I know-"

"And his dog tags-"

"I know-"

"Who else could it-"

"I KNOW!" Coyote screamed back, "GOD DAMN IT NEIL, I KNOW!"

The crowd's noise dulled, the other bar patrons all turning to see where the outburst was coming from but all Javy could see was his teammates, the way Neil stuttered back like he was struck, how quickly Halo removed her hand from his arm, how Phoenix and Fanboy flinched, and even Payback looked to step back. They all think you're insane, a voice in his head that sounded suspiciously like Jake told him, this is why you should have kept your mouth shut.

But it was too late for that, too late to take back the words, to go back to their night and pretend that Javy hadn't ripped the Band-Aid off the gaping wound that was the loss of Hangman and expose it to the air around them all again.

It wasn’t fair. Not to any of them, Javy thought to himself, when Jake was his best friend and his brother to grieve. Throwing this on the others, whose own relationships with Hangman were timid at best, wasn’t right. Javy heaved a bone weary sigh as he stood up from his barstool, noticing both Payback and Halo’s hands out to guide him as though even the task of standing up were too much for the damaged pilot.

Maybe they were right.

“I’m sorry” Coyote mumbled, looking first at Omaha and then the rest, “I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“No” Callie’s face softened, the look of pity that enveloped Javy’s days now, plastered on her face, “it’s important to talk these things out, just maybe not-“ she spared a hand to emphasis around them, “-in this type of setting. Why don’t we head back to base and we can all talk-“

Javy shook his head, “no forget it-“

“Hey Coyote” Reuben reached for his shoulder, clutching it with purpose, grounding the man back to them all and out of his own head, “you just caught us a little off guard okay?” He leaned in closer, “but we are here for you, alright? To talk, to listen- let us be your sounding boards.”

“If you want to hit someone I vote Omaha-“ Fanboy cut in with the most humor any of them have been able to muster since the mission. The younger man was rewarded by a squawk of indignation from Neil, “why me?” the Caucasian man asked as he elbowed Mickey in the ribs.

“Because you’re more punchable-“

“What? No way man, you’re the punchable one-

“Am not!”

“Are too!”

“Guys-“ Callie’s voice cut through the bickering before she turned back to Coyote with a worried glance, matched by Payback as he wrapped his entire arm over Lieutenant Machado. Javy, who thought he was laughing at the antics of his teammates, realized with horrifying realization that he was actually crying, full sobs wracking his body before he could even begin to reign in his emotions. Tears welled up in his eyes and like a dam breaking, they began to run down his cheeks. He hitched a breath, shuddering, betrayed by his body but too lost to feel embarrassed. His team closed ranks, all of them pushing forward, Halo and Payback taking the most space, touching him, grounding him, but Omaha, Fanboy and Phoenix all finding spaces to do the same.

Cocooned in this invisible blanket of support, Javy managed to catch his breath, “I just thought-“ he exhaled through his nose, “I thought I would feel it more” he told them, all eyes watching, attention rapt. “He was my best friend…- shouldn’t I… wouldn’t I have felt it more?”

Callie ran a hand gently over the side of his face, her fingers light but comforting, making Coyote close his eyes and lean into it. “You feel it Javy, it’s just mixed with shock so your mind gets confused-“

“But every time I go to the cemetery I don’t feel him. It’s wrong somehow, it’s not- it doesn’t feel like Jake is in there-“

“It’s only been four weeks” the Asian woman reminded, “and grief comes in stages, different for everyone. There is no right or wrong in it. Your feelings are valid, no matter what they are-“

No matter how insane they are, that voice in his head sounded again. Javy felt his stomach drop, the knowledge that the others could never feel the same way as him, would only placate his thoughts with hand holding and hugs. He should have known, and he did in reality, but it still hurt. Coyote hung his head for a moment in loss before he turned back to his team. “I think I need some air” he informed, moving from the group though they all seemed to dislike the prospect.

“I’ll join you” Payback offered, the others looking to offer as well but Javy waved it off, needing some time to think on his own. “Thanks” and he found he really meant it. It was nice of his team to worry about him so much, to offer so much after everything, “but I think I need some time to myself.”

“Don’t stay out too long” Phoenix warned worriedly, sharing a look with Halo who seemed to hate everything about this idea, “and don’t go home without saying goodbye.”

“I won’t” he promised, mostly because Reuben was his ride anyway and he was way too tired to walk back to base from here.

“We mean it” Callie pulled him in to her arms for a moment, holding him tight. There was a time, a different lifetime it seemed with how these past weeks have gone, where Javy would have given anything to be held by Halo. His decade long crush on the woman, which he had denied to Jake pointedly for years, had seemed useless now, but it still felt nice to have her so near. Callie cared, and Javy would always hold love for her despite his now broken heart.

When Halo finally released him, Javy headed towards the back door of The Hard Deck. He could feel the others watching him, also picking up in his peripheral a concerned Penny Benjamin looking at him as well, but he stayed on task, getting himself outside and into the cool breeze of the night air quickly.

Coyote headed down to the beach, tossing off his shoes and leaving them behind a planter on the deck as he trekked barefoot through the sand. When he was close enough to the ocean to see it despite the darkness but far enough to not get wet, the man stopped. Javy sat his butt in the sand, uncaring that the grainy particulars would undoubtedly get everywhere. Instead he looked out at the ocean, the calming sound of waves crashing rhythmically deterring the sobs that were threatening once more. He was never the biggest ocean person, his time spent growing up in New Orleans meant he had some excursions to the Gulf waters, but it was never Coyote’s thing. Instead he looked to the skies, to something unattainable to the average person. To be a Naval Pilot, to be a part of the best of the best, afforded Javy so much in his life, but it also took. The sacrifices, the grueling training, injuries, near death experiences, suicide missions that they actually fought to be a part of, losing teammates, losing his brother- the price was seemingly too much to pay. Coyote couldn’t help but wonder if it was all worth it.

He looked up at the night sky, the stars barely visible in the light pollution of California, and wondered if peace was possible after the life he lived. Would there be a time when Javy could even look at a Jet without thinking of his best friend? Could he meet one of the daggers and not see their smiles become forced and tight as they asked how he was or how he was dealing? He didn’t think so, especially not now, but he did know that time always moved on and as did people and eventually what hurt so harshly today could be just the tiniest pinprick tomorrow.

He wasn’t quite sure if he wanted that either.

A noise disrupted his thoughts, a quiet clearing of a throat behind him. Javy turned around, surprised to see Rooster of all people having followed him. The older man looked uneasy and unsure, no doubt not wanting to overstep. He nodded shyly to the space next to Coyote, “can I- can I join you?” he asked softly.

Javy nodded, choosing not to speak. He watched Bradshaw kick up some sand as he walked closer, sitting down with an audible grunt before positioning himself to look at the ocean just like Coyote was. The two men sat in silence for a bit, not quite comforting and bordering on awkward as the minutes passed. Finally Javy couldn’t take it anymore, looking to his partner and tilting his head, “why are you out here Rooster? Did they send you to babysit?”

“No” the man shook his head, “I wanted to talk to you.”

“Okay, what about?”

Bradley sighed, "I don't really know how to say this" the brunette spoke up softly, refusing to look anywhere beyond the ocean waves, "I feel cruel even bringing it up but-"

"Just say it Bradshaw."

Javy was reward with another sigh, as though saying the next words were painful to Bradshaw. "Phoenix told me what you said to the group before, how you said you don’t feel like Jake being dead is real.”

"It's a common thing to say after a sudden death-“ Javy repeated Callie’s words and platitudes without thinking but he wasn’t really sure why. It sounded disingenuous to his own ears and he noticed Bradshaw flinch when he heard them as well.

“But you really believe it” there was a desperation to Bradley’s voice, and it stirred something in Javy’s own gut, “you don’t think he’s dead.”

Coyote thought about lying but refused. So what if Rooster thought he was crazy, the others already did. “No” he told the other man, “I don’t. I don’t think he’s gone.”

“Me either.”

The darker skinned man’s head looked over so quickly he might have gotten whiplash. He stared at the man next to him, his eyes boring into him, looking for a mocking smile or anything to say that this was all a sham. Instead Bradley met his gaze with a surprising amount of resolve. He seemed to notice Javy’s uncertainty in believing him because he opened his mouth to offer some explanation. “You were right that day in the debrief,” Rooster informed, his voice sounding shaky, “ I- I didn't think he was dead. I should have spoken up but I couldn’t. I’m sorry.”

Coyote blanched, not expecting the words. When he regained his head, he narrowed his eyes, unsure of Rooster’s motives for such a secret, "Why are you saying this to me? Why now?”

Bradley turned back to the water for a moment before meeting Javy’s graze enough to show the other man the tears in his big brown eyes, “Because I think he’s still out there” and the man stopped when he felt Javy suppress his sobs next to him, “I think he’s alive.”

“Tell me why” Coyote all but whispered, finding an ally in his thoughts as comforting as it was frightening, “why do you think that?”

Rooster leaned closer, pulling Javy into his conspiracy theory without realizing that the younger pilot had already been to the same conclusions for weeks now. “At first I thought it was from my guilt, that I was just refusing to accept it to protect myself but then I started thinking.” The mustached man closed his eyes, “there is so much of the mission that is a blur, it all happened so fast, but after Hangman was- after he was hit, I turned around and did a lap.” He opened his eyes and turned to Javy, “I looked for him.”

“And what did you see?”

“No explosions” the man shared, “no fireball on the ground. He didn’t burn up like that on impact.”

Javy pondered the words for a moment. Both Bob and Mickey had shared the same sentiment, citing that when Jake’s plane fell to the ground they were unable to see exactly where it ended up because there was no fire or smoke in the air. For Jake’s body to be charred so badly, the explosion that would have been needed should have been seen by the WSO’s. Therefore Bradley was right, Jake couldn’t have burned on impact.

One scenario crossed off Javy’s list.

But the younger man wasn’t ready to give Bradshaw too much credence, instead opting for indifference as he shrugged his shoulders, “So maybe he blew up after impact? His plane caught fire and hit his left over fuel, his ammo ignited-“

“An explosion like that would have-“ Bradley paused, sparing a glance at his teammate, “the body wouldn’t have been in one piece.”

“How did you know it was?” Javy asked, because as far as he knew the casket carrying Jake was closed from the minute the Seals brought his body to the carrier.

Rooster’s face paled as he rubbed the back of his neck apprehensively, “Mav told me, he read the report.”

“So the body was burned-“

“Like a flash fire ripped through it.” Bradley finished for him.

It dawned on Javy that neither man was using Jake’s name anymore, talking such gruesome details was only possible if they kept it impersonal, “and an explosion of his fuel tank-“

Again Rooster spoke up, “would have… scattered the remains more.”

“You don’t know that for sure though”

The older pilot frowned, “I guess I can’t say for sure” he admitted, “but from a physics standpoint, it doesn’t make sense. A force of energy that large would destroy whatever is in its path not just burn it. It would have shattered everything, even his plane

Javy looked over, again hearing new information, “his plane wasn’t destroyed?”

“It was crushed in the front but the Seal Commander’s notes said it looked more from impact. Other than that, he wrote that it was just burned.”

Another scenario crossed off, though Javy had no misgivings that the information Bradshaw was providing him was heresy at the moment. He would have to ask Simpson to see the records, or go to Mav and beg the renegade Captain if he couldn’t get the Admiral on board. He looked back at Bradley, “He could still be dead though, if the enemy found him-“

Bradley shuddered, “that’s my worst fear' he told him devastatingly, "that he survived the crash, that he was alive and waiting for us but then they found him and- and-" he couldn’t seem to continue verbally but Javy flinched as his mind pictured the rest. Jake huddled in a broken cockpit, injured and alone, praying for rescue but only seeing enemy forces coming onto his position. A sneering foreign face coming through the snow and laughing as they set fire to his plane and Jake burned. It was unimaginable.

“I guess it’s possible but I don’t think-“ Bradley sighed, “I don’t think he’s dead Javy, and you don’t either and maybe that makes us crazy and maybe we are completely wrong but it has to count for something right?”

It was insane but Javy felt himself nod along, “Right” he whispered back.

Coyote felt Bradshaw grip his arm tightly in his grip, “I know Jake and I didn’t get along and to be honest that was my fault as much as his. He instigated but I was angry and I took everything as a personal affront.” He shook his head, his brown curls bouncing lightly in the moonlight, “I never hated him-“

“I don’t think he hated you either.”

It was painful how much Bradley’s face softened at Coyote’s words, “I think we could have been good friends if we really tried, god knows we were competitive enough to bring out the best flying we could from each other. And in the end Jake, he proved even my worst taunts wrong.” Rooster looked down, “I will always feel guilty,” the brunette shared, “Hangman sacrificed himself for me, he took that missile for me, I can’t every begin to understand why he would ever-“

“Because you were his teammate” Javy cut in, a sob threatening, but he swallowed it down, “because you were his wingman, and because he thought your life meant more.”

Rooster shook his head, giving a watery grimace, “it’s not worth more-“

“Not if you don’t live it. Wallowing in your guilt isn’t what Jake would have wanted; it isn’t what he would have done it for. So stop alright? You have to-“ Javy sighed heavily, composing himself, “you have to keep living, we all have to keep living. For Jake.”

“For Jake” Bradley echoed with a nod and they both turned back to the ocean and sky once more, still too many questions to find true peace, but comfort found at least, together.

Halfway around the world, Jake Seresin was offered the same opportunity to look up at the sky, though it was daytime for him. It was the first time since his crash that he had been allowed to breathe fresh air, to see anything other than his dingy and dirty makeshift cell, and the sun’s strong rays were so bright, they made the blonde pilot wince.

Being outside was his reward for being good today. For not making any sounds and eating what little provisions his capturer’s gave him without a fuss. His first few days Jake had spent being as obnoxious as possible; talking loudly and even going as far as singing that damn Rooster song, ‘Goodness Gracious Great Balls of Fire’ to piss his enemies off. They didn’t appreciate his efforts, showering him with abuse until he was unconscious every time. But Hangman was stubborn, and despite the horrendous pain that pulsed through his body in waves he just continued talking.

Finally the Captain, the same one that the American made such a great first impression with, moved to snapping one of Jake’s fingers every time he talked out of turn.

It only took a day for all ten to be broken.

They moved to cuts then; slashes across Jake’s skin that were deep enough to hurt like a bitch but nothing that he would bleed out with. Soon Hangman was filled with the half-healed abrasions, his arms, legs, torso and back covered like a Picasso painting, but still he talked and sang.

They moved to harsher beatings, longer durations, anything they could do to break his spirit. Hangman took it all with a cocky bloody grin, laughing at their form and telling them his grandmother could hit harder. He asked them if all their countrymen were this pitiful and a bunch of pussies or was it just them. He wondered out loud if they should call for some women to show them how it’s done. They took his body and all but threw it into the wall after that quip but once Jake regained consciousness and spat out the tooth he lost from the impact, he started speaking again, louder this time.

One day Hangman decided to sing the National Anthem each time a soldier hit him. It was the Whitney Houston version, with all the high notes that Jake couldn’t hit since his balls dropped, and everything. He got through seven times before he was pistol whipped so hard he collapsed to the ground and woke up hours later with his face lying in a pool of blood from his mouth.

Yet still Hangman talked and still Hangman sang.

He naively thought he could break them first, the beatings and torture bad but the American could take as much as he could give, and he was certainly holding his own.

Until one week ago, when the captain sent a guard to choke Jake so hard he broke his larynx.

When Jake awoke once more from the loss of oxygen and the pain of the break, he had no voice left to sing or talk. All he had left were whimpers, which his capturers informed him he wasn’t allowed to do anymore either. If Jake made any sound at all he was being punished; and no more little beatings or cuts, the enemy turned creative after seeing the success of choking. Hangman found tight grips closing over his throat for even the smallest of noise now, water boarding with freezing cold river water if he dared to be heard by anyone, or thrashing of punches and kicks until he was rendered a puppet whose strings were cut, no strength to even lift his head. His only respite came in the blackness of unconsciousness.

The Captain was ruthless but effective; he broke the Hangman persona in less than a month, leaving only Jake behind.

Hangman was an annoyingly cocky, smug asshole but Jake was already a broken man. He had lived through abuse his entire childhood, had learned to be silent for fear of his father and mother. Facing similar threats with different enemies brought Jake back to these years of his youth and his mind followed suit. He huddled himself in a corner, curled in a protective ball and ignored the food being offered to him. He lost weight quickly this way, though he already had been down pounds since his capture. His eyes looked sunken and hooded, his skin pale and stretched across what were once strong and tan muscles.

The Captain noticed the change and for the last six days if Jake didn’t eat the food given to him it was shoved down his mouth until he had to swallow for fear of asphyxiation. Then he was drenched in buckets of water to ‘wash it down’ leaving the pilot shivering in his cell and a guard standing next to him to announce if he whimpered and was deserving of another punishment. Most of the times the soldiers lied, their chance to get back at all the annoying and berating Hangman had done his first few weeks. They all laughed as they spoke up excitedly in a foreign language, Jake understanding enough of what they said when the Captain returned all but too happy to call for a choking or water boarding.

Today Jake barely had the energy from his torturous days to eat, staring at the disgusting concoctions thrown in front of him with a turned stomach. Unfortunately, he didn’t think he could last through another punishment so he picked up the food with his poorly healing fingers and ate what he could. When the Captain came by to check he mockingly gave Jake pats on his head like a dog, praising him patronizingly and saying how well he did, before he called for some guards and started talking rapidly in their language. Jake worried, expecting something bad, only to be hauled to his feet that hadn’t been able to hold his weight for days anymore, and all but dragged out of his cell and out of the underground barrack he had been kept in.

Outside, Jake assumed he was being executed. That with his spirit finally broken the Captain no longer had use for him (they had long since given up on getting actual information from Jake, his lips were sealed on that despite all the torture inflicted), and now was just going to get rid of him the best way they could, a bullet to the brain and a one way ticket to a different type of hell. But instead he was let go, Jake knew it wasn’t to run off, but instead he was allowed to sit in the snow and feel the sun. The warmth of the rays on his skin, the cold of the snow on his butt, feelings that didn’t involve fists or aches. Feelings that if Jake closed his eyes he could pretend he was somewhere else, with friends or his team, playing in the snow on a winter’s day.

He got five minutes out there in peace, until just like every ‘prize’ he earned during his captivity, it ended in pain. This time Jake was unceremoniously thrown into the half frozen river nearby, his body landing half on ice and half submerged, the blonde unable to tell what impact actually hurt worse. He had no energy to swim, let alone fight a current but his torturers knew this, the captain waiting with some men about three miles downstream to catch an icy Hangman, hypothermia setting in so bad from the temperatures that he was barely shivering when the winter’s air caught his sodden body.

“Come on Mr. American” the Captain leered as they pulled Jake’s wrecked body back up the hill, “let’s go back inside, we have so much more fun to have.”

The blonde stay silent, fear of chastisement too high, but he managed to turn his green eyes up to the sky once more. He looked at the sun with a heart as broken as his body, unsure if he could even find the strength to pray for a rescue anymore or if he should just pray for the end.

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justanotherblogger · 2 months

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A World Without Him

Chapter 12

-The day before, at 10:30 AM-

Pigsy’s Noodles was just opening shop, with the owner of said restaurant hauling up the metal door and blinds, then lighting up the store's sign to show it was in business.

Then he walked back into the kitchen to check all the appliances and heat up the broth, going into a sort of trance as he checked over everything in his kitchen. A friendly face came by a couple minutes after the official opening, helping to take down the chairs and putting them in the correct spots. After finishing up, the friend went over to the bar and started to chat with the chef.

“Hello Pigsy!” He offered with a grin, sitting down a bit uncomfortably onto one of the nearby stools. “Hey there, Sandy.” Pigsy answered absent-mindedly, focussing on his prep before finishing and walking towards the bar. This was the bit of free time Pigsy had before orders started showing up, so he had some time to talk.

“Do you think Mk will come by today?” Sandy asked, looking around the shop as if he expected Mk to pop out at any moment.

“Not exactly.” Pigsy grumbled. “He hasn't been by here for the past three days, not like he was even pretending to deliver noodles before.”

“Aw, don't be like that Pigsy! I know Mk has been out and about for the past few weeks, but it's only because he's been stopping demons left and right! We're his friends, so he wouldn't just leave without a reason to.” Sandy offered, leaning over the bar as if to make a point.

“I know, I know Sandy.” Pigsy says, waving off the blue giant before staring out onto the street, seemingly lost in his thoughts.

Sandy noticed the change in tone immediately. “What's on your mind, Pigsy? It's never good to bottle up your thoughts or emotions. You seem a little tense. Is this about Mk, or something else?”

Pigsy paused for a moment, thinking it over before sighing heavily. “It's about Tang” “What about him exactly?” Sandy asked.

“Well, ugh. It's just that he's worrying me. He's been cooped up in that apartment of his for the past couple weeks, which you know he only does when he's trying to ride something out on his own, and he's been especially weird after the whole library fight!

“You saw how he didn't answer his phone that day. When I went up to get him, I… his entire apartment was trashed. Things broken and thrown around the room sort of thing. He also looked like a complete mess, with his hair all over the place along with dust and other stuff covering his clothes. His glasses were even cracked!

“Then he brushed me off when I tried to get him to talk, saying how he'd been through a lot that day, dropping a bomb on how he was stuck under a building for hours, and then how he just needed some time alone. I let it go at the time, but staying alone after an event like that happened to him is worrying me about what actually happened at the library.

Pigsy pauses for a second before continuing, now a bit more solemn in his tone. “If he thought what happened at the library was something he could handle by himself, then I'm concerned for all the other stuff he thinks is better going through alone. I'm just wondering if there's something he's not telling me: something that he's been harboring at his apartment all this time.”

Sandy nodded along with Pigsy’s words, growing more and more concerned as Pigsy went on. “Have you tried asking him about this? Maybe checking in on him, too?”

Pigsy huffed, looking at the ground before turning back to Sandy. “I didn't know it had gotten this bad until I saw him yesterday. But I did tell him to come here at noon to talk about it, and that I would drag him here myself if he were late. I'm just hoping he'll actually come by himself instead of staying inside again.”

Sandy nodded, still looking concerned at what Pigsy had told him. “Does anyone else know this is going on?”

Pigsy looked to the side, a bit ashamed. “No one else needs to know the specifics yet. I wouldn't want to overwhelm Tang with that many people knowing. It's not like I have that many people I could tell anyways.”

Sandy looked like he wanted to say something, but he never got the chance when the bell on the shop door rang, taking Pigsy's attention away from the conversation.

“I'd better get to that order. We'll continue this later, Sandy.” Pigsy said, leaving Sandy at the bar to attend to the growing crowd.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pigsy was spread thin throughout his restaurant. He had to stop offering delivery at the moment when no one acceptable would apply for the job in Mk's stead, which definitely put a dent into his profits.

At the start, it was fine. People would often order out through his window instead of delivery, and all he needed to do was throw the noodles onto the shelf for people to grab.

Then more people would start to line up, and the pressure of making everything on time became overwhelming along with the struggle of waiting on everyone eating in.

All of this combined started to grate on Pigsy's nerves as more and more people started to complain about the wait time.

If they want their freaking noodles in 5 minutes, then why don't they COME IN AND MAKE IT THEMSELVES.

Pigsy might actually kiss Tang if he came by so he could finally get a break from all the complaints and passive aggressive comments, even if Tang is already way too late just for a slap on the wrist. Pigsy would go out there and drag him down himself if Tang didn't show up in the next few minutes-

*CRASH*

The sudden noise dragged Pigsy's focus away from the noodles he was preparing. He looked up rapidly and saw a mop of brown hair coming towards him at an alarming speed, knocking some chairs over in the process.

“Kid, what are you doing here?!” Pigsy yelled out, but it fell on deaf ears as he was grabbed by his elbow and pulled out of the kitchen.

“No time Pigsy. Something's up with Monkey King, the island has become a bit overwhelming and I need your guys's help stat!” The kid replied, going over to where Sandy was sitting and yanking him out of his stool. Sandy had to contort his body almost inhumanely just to keep the tea in his hands from spilling out.

But that work was for naught as the kid was suddenly getting ready to fly off again, only giving Pigsy a second to cut off the sign and drag down the blinds before the kid jumped off towards Flower Fruit Mountain. Sandy dropped his cup somewhere on the way.

When they landed in front of the waterfall entrance, they only had seconds to recover before all the duo could hear were the kid's ramblings. “I'm not sure what's wrong but he hasn't come out of the waterfall for a week and the sigil on it has been acting weird and I don't know what to do- wait, where's Mr Tang? I thought I grabbed everyone at the bar.”

The kid looked at them both, searching for a certain scholar, yet coming up with nothing other than the small monkeys hanging around the waterfall coming a bit closer to inspect the new visitors.

Pigsy, after recovering from the whiplash, cleared his throat. “Mk, Tang is probably at his apartment. He's going to be at the shop any minute to talk with me though, so I need to get back pretty soon.”

“Oh, I can wait for Mr Tang to get there for you! I just needed to get you all here to figure out how to get Monkey King out and ask him about the island. It wont take too long, right?” Mk asked with a nervous grin.

Pigsy sighed as he pinched his nose bridge. “I wanted to have some time to have a serious talk with Tang. Alone. I can't exactly put that off for whatever Monkey King has gotten himself into this time.”

Mk wouldn't back down at Pigsy's protest, though. “You can just have it here, then! Mei's already inside and all I need Tang to do is sort through all the mystic junk for anything useful and ask him what he thinks is wrong with the island and Monkey King. After that, all I need him to do is sit back and watch as we help Monkey King fix everything up-”

The ground suddenly shakes as the sigil on the waterfall started to glow, cracks in the surrounding stone growing before loose rock fell into the dense forest, knocking down some trees in the process. The monkeys around them jumped and started to run at the sounds, huddling together in fear.

Mei came running out of the waterfall at the commotion. “Another one already!? AUUUUGH, THIS BLOWS!” She yelled as she took a stance in front of the waterfall and shot up towards its sigil, using her family sword to stab it infused with the Samadhi Fire.

The sigil glowed sporadically, the shaking becoming more severe before it finally cracked under the pressure and started to dull, slightly softening the shaking.

Mk's expression became more tense as he yelled to Sandy and Pigsy. “Do you guys see what's happening now!? I need you to keep us safe from the falling rocks while I help Mei.”

Mk ran off before either of them could respond, leaving them in the path of all the debris with a job to do.

Sandy immediately jumped up and started to punch the rocks into bits before they could hit the ground and cause more damage, and after a few seconds of hesitation, Pigsy joined him.

This went on for what seemed like forever: the continuous tasks becoming tiresome for the both of them. But then, long after their knuckles became bloody and numb, the rocks finally stopped falling and the island became silent. When Pigsy and Sandy made it back to the waterfall entrance, they saw how the sigil had gained more small cracks compared to when they saw it before.

Then, looking towards the floor, they could see Mei and Mk laid out on the ground, both breathing heavily as Pigsy and Sandy approached.

“Are you both alright?” Sandy asked, crouching down near the duo to see if they were hurt.

“Nah, *huff* we're both *huff* fine. Just tired from the *huff* overuse.” Mei answered from the floor.

Pigsy sat down next to them. “What just happened back there? Is this why you snatched us out of the shop?”

Mk took a few moments to breathe, and then he finally answered after sitting up. “Yeah, this is why I went and got you. I just figured out this was happening after I hadn't heard from Monkey King in a while and went to check on him.”

Mk looked around the waterfall entrance, a pensive look forming on his face. “I'll tell you more inside. It'll be easier to show you there.” Mk said, standing up with some difficulty along with Mei before walking to the entrance.

Standing in front of the seal with everyone behind him, Mk put his palm up and onto the seal and waited.

It flickered, the image shorting in and out of everyone's view, before it dulled completely. Mk sighed in relief at that before stepping in. Mei, Sandy, and Pigsy followed in his stead.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They walked through hills of weapons, scrolls, and other junk Monkey King had piled in here over the years. Sandy knocked some of the stuff over in the process, and everyone almost tripped over the junk more than once.

They eventually made it to a clearing with a small, wooden hut in the middle of it. Mk looked past it and went towards some logs on the floor, sitting on the one with moss covering half of its side.

Mei sat beside him with Sandy and Pigsy choosing their own logs, looking at Mk expectantly.

Mk sighed heavily before speaking. “The seal has been acting completely overkill since I got here. I don't know what affected it, it's just been going crazy at random times and doing that to the surrounding area.”

Pigsy looked towards the wooden hut, and then back to Mk. “Then where's Monkey King? Shouldn't he be able to fix all this, as it’s his own waterfall seal or whatever?”

Mk grumbled to the floor, so Mei answered instead. “Mk's already looked into the shack with his golden vision. He now knows for sure Monkey King is in that hut right now, but no matter what we do, that monkey won't come out: I even played the Nyan Cat theme for an hour and a half straight! Nothing we do can even scratch what that shack is made of anyway, so breaking it open won't work either.”

This only made Pigsy more annoyed with the king. “So he won't even come out when his island is going to crap? Why is he hiding in the first place anyway?” Pigsy spat, clearly fed up with how Wukong had been handling everything.

Sandy gives Pigsy a pat on the shoulder. “I'm sure Monkey King has a reason for shutting himself away, and now that me and Pigsy are here, we can try and help as much as we can to get him out.” Sandy offered, trying to lessen the growing tension.

Pigsy stood up quickly, shrugging off Sandy’s hand as he marched towards the hut. “If nothing you tried was able to get that stupid monkey to come out, then I'll have to resort to my Special Recipe to get him out of that stupid shack.” He mumbled with a sadistic grin, marching up the stairs to the hut’s main door.

Sandy just sighed and Mk winced in sympathy. “What's the big deal about it?” Mei asked curiously.

“You remember that one time I passed in my room from training for a day straight and was late for my job at Pigsy’s the next day?” Mk asked Mei, seeing Pigsy grab a whole thing of pots and pans out of somewhere.

“Yeah?” Mei responded, a bit more confused than before.

“Apparently, I was sleeping like a rock, and Pigsy couldn't shake me awake or do anything to get me conscious. So, instead, he grabbed the strongest smelling ingredients he had at the time, cooked them together, and shoved the finished product in my face. I was shocked awake so badly that I almost made a hole in my ceiling.” Mk laughed slightly at the end, looking back at Pigsy and seeing the chef giggling to himself as he added what seemed to be garlic and chilies.

“Ohhhhh! That's why you kept taking my scented hand sanitizer for like, a whole week that one time!” Mei remembered, poking at Mk’s cheek.

“Yeah, yeah. I wasn't even allowed to taste the dang thing he made either!” Mk complained a bit, shaking his hand in the air to Mei’s amusement as she chuckled with Sandy.

The story had lightened the mood, lifting a bit of stress off of everyone's shoulders. A few moments after, Pigsy finally finished whatever he was doing near the door and gestured rapidly for them to come up near the hut.

With a bit of hesitation, they walked towards the door and almost immediately gagged at the strong smell. Even Pigsy had a cloth over his face as he picked up the bowl emitting what they were smelling.

“Are we even sure that's gonna work? I don't want that lingering here longer than it has to.” Mei said, a bit muffled under the sleeve she used to block out the smell.

“Did I wave you over here to critique my methods? No, I got you over here to help me get Monkey King outside.” Pigsy rebutted.

“How are we even going to get that stuff inside piggy? Like I said, this shack is basically indestructible!” Mei complained, leaning on one of the wooden rails near the stairs as Pigsy covered the bowl from the complaint.

A moment of silence passed…

Sandy spoke up in a small voice, pointing somewhere at the hut. “Uh, maybe we could do something with that cracked window?”

Everyone followed Sandy's hand to a busted up, dirty looking window that had about an inch of a gap underneath it from being pushed to one side.

Mk spoke up in a chipper tone. “Oh! I didn't see that before… that could work!”

After all of them used almost too many attempts at lifting the window, (Mei trying to leverage it with her sword with Pigsy plus Sandy trying to lift it bare handed), Mk was able to open it by shrinking down his staff, putting it in the gap, and growing it big enough to shove the window open.

The staff went flying at the extra force, but it was luckily caught by Mk before it could hit Sandy square in the nose.

After everyone settled down, Mk volunteered to get the monkey as no one knew what Monkey King would do when he woke up if someone like Mk almost put a hole in his ceiling. Mk also had the highest chance of surviving whatever the king threw out at him.

“Okay, just be careful in there, kid.” Pigsy stated, handing the bowl (now with a cloth over the top) over for Mk to carry.

“Don't worry Pigsy, I'll be in and out no problem!” Mk then slinked in through the window, careful not to spill anything, before standing up in what seemed to be Monkey King's living room.

“Do you see him anywhere?” Sandy yelled through the window.

“Nah, just a bunch of Monkey King merch so far!” Mk yelled back, balancing the bowl in one hand as he lifted blankets with the king's face on it and looked through piles of video tapes.

When he put the bowl back in both hands, he finally activated his golden vision, looking through the walls for the king. He finally saw Monkey King at the end of the hallway, huddled up on a pile of blankets on the floor.

“Monkey King!” Mk called out, rushing over to the monkey's side.

The king looked worse-for-wear, fur matted and dirty along with how his brows were creased and sweaty. He looked like he was in a deep sleep: like he was having a nightmare.

Mk took no time in leaning down, taking off the cloth and shoving the bowl into Monkey King's face. The monkey's eyes shot open as he punched the nearest wall behind, causing a hole 2 feet leading outside wide to splinter into existence. The king also yanked to bowl out of Mk's hands and drank the whole thing as footsteps approached.

“WOAH- What was that?!” Pigsy yelled out, running to the punch site with Mei and Sandy in tow.

“It's ok, it's ok! Monkey King just woke up.” Mk reassured. Said Monkey was still on the ground, his breathing slowing down yet not becoming any less heavy.

Pigsy was about to say something else, but Monkey King quickly raised his hand to quiet him down. After a few more moments of catching his breath, Monkey King put down the bowl, finally stood up, and turned to Mk. “What are you doing here bud?”

Mk looked at Monkey King confused. “What do you mean “Why am I here”? I'm here because I haven't seen you all week and when I got here, the island was going crazy!”

Monkey King furrowed his brow, looking out of the hole he made. His eyes widened with a look of shock. Suddenly, gold mist filled the area as the king transformed into a bird and flew out of the house towards the waterfall entrance.

“Where is he going?!” Mei yelled, the rush of wind following the king making it hard to hear.

“I don't know, but we should probably follow him!” Mk shouted back, already speeding after the golden trail the monkey left behind with his own transformation.

Then everyone started running back through the junk piles and tunnels, trying to catch up to Monkey King and Mk as they sped off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Monkey King flew over the island, staring down at the lines of fallen trees, the jagged rocks jutting out of the ground, and the cracks on his mountain he could clearly see below him.

He quickly de-transformed on one of the surrounding beaches, seeing everything in perspective with rocks double his size littering the sands.

He also noticed the sun had already set by the time he landed. The stars shone down onto the shore he stopped at, the waters uncharacteristically calm as they reflected the starlight.

He didn't know how all of this happened while he was… incapacitated. What got by him?

Mk finally caught up to him pretty quickly after his landing, going back into his regular form and running up to where the king was standing in the sand.

“Monkey King! *huff* Why'd you run off!?” Mk shouted out, still a good couple yards away.

“Oh, Mk! I'm sorry, I just… didn't expect everything to have gotten this bad. I had to check for myself, y'know” Monkey King answered nonchalantly, giving Mk a small grin.

Mk huffed at him when they finally stood side by side. “Well, you could've told us that before you ran off to who-knows-where. Everyone else is probably still behind-”

Right on cue, Mei, Sandy, and Pigsy came tumbling out of some of the nearby trees, clearly roughed up from trying to keep up with Mk and Monkey King.

“Did he finally stop???” Mei asked tiredly, immediately sitting down on the sand as Sandy sat with her and Pigsy moved past her.

“Oh hey guys! Yeah, I just needed to look over the damages. You didn't need to follow me though.” Monkey King stated with a shrug. Both Mei and Pigsy, obviously annoyed, were about to speak up before getting shushed by Monkey King.

“Shushushush, don't worry! I'll just bring you guys back to the entrance so you don't have to complain. Easy peasy!” He said cheerfully, grabbing them by the arms, even taking Mk by his tail, and summoning his cloud to ride back up to the waterfall.

“AHHHHHHH-” Everyone’s screams blurred together as Monkey King laughed and flew the cloud higher and higher.

When they finally arrived, he immediately poofed the cloud and let everyone fall to the floor. He casually walked up to the seal while everyone had to get their bearings, again, and looked over the dull image on the waterfall.

His grin fell a bit as he continued to look it over, turning to Mk, who was still on the floor. “So this is what’s making my island go crazy?”

“Oh? Yeah, I mean, I'm pretty sure. It glows whenever the mountain shakes, and when we attack it, it causes the tremors to stop.” Mk answered, a bit shakily as he stood up again, helping Mei and Pigsy up afterward with Sandy’s help.

“Huh… Well luckily, I know how to fix this! Probably.” Monkey King boasted, mumbling the last part under his breath.

“Wait REALLY?!” Everyone shouted in surprise.

“Well, yes, but I actually need a certain item to fix this, and it's inside.” Monkey King replied, kicking a pebble around while he did so.

Multiple groans sounded throughout the group. No one wanted to do more work after the day they all had.

Pigsy spoke up for the group, a bit exasperated. “Let's just do this tomorrow. The tremors aren't super often, right?”

“Yeah, they happen pretty randomly, and the latest one was the worst one so far. It usually just takes a hit from my staff to stop them completely, anyways.” Mk answers absent-mindedly, Mei nodding along.

“So let's just call it. Nothing good will come from doing all this now.” Pigsy continued, crossing his arms to make his stance clear.

“I agree with Pigsy. We've already exerted a lot of our energy, and trying to use any of our powers at the moment might not end well for us.” Sandy replied with a serious expression.

Monkey King looked pensive, but agreed nonetheless. “You guys are right. I have some extra blankets and stuff for you guys since getting back safely right now isn't exactly possible. Follow me.”

After waiting for the seal to unlock, Monkey King led the group back to the wood hut and went inside, leaving them standing outside.

And then, after a few minutes, he came back out with what seemed to be an excessive amount of sleeping bags, pillows and blankets stuffed in his hands.

“Here you are! I'm sorry this is the best I can do: there isn't much space in here now considering the hole in my wall. This space is protected from outside elements though, so don't worry about being rained on or something. Goodnight!” Monkey King said, throwing the items at the group and going back inside almost immediately.

Grumbling under his breath, Pigsy grabbed a Hello Kitty sleeping bag from the pile. Don't judge him too quickly, it was one of the only sleeping bags that didn't have Monkey King’s colors or face on it.

Sandy took most of the blankets and layered them on the floor for a more comfortable place to sleep. Mk took a sleeping bag with a yellow and red palette, thanked Sandy, and fell asleep almost immediately on the floor.

Mei followed soon after, taking a blanket with some lime patterns all over it with a matching pillow and falling asleep right next to Mk.

Then Sandy went a few minutes after her, taking his time to find the biggest blanket in the pile, a white blanket with a blue and yellow trim that couldn't reach Sandy's feet, before laying down near the edge of the softened ground.

And now Pigsy was the last on up, staring at some of the stars he could see past the configuration of the mountain. He couldn't fall asleep that easily, even though he was practically exhausted from the day like everyone else.

It took a couple more minutes, but he did end up falling asleep eventually, finally nodding off in his bright pink sleeping bag.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The shaking woke them up again. The sigil had apparently thought it was the best time to activate as everyone got a very violent wake up call, slightly throwing them around on the floor.

Mk got up first, rubbing his eyes as he walked up to the hut to get Monkey King to help. He knocked once: no one answered. He knocked twice: no answer again.

Mk was too tired to continue knocking, so he just decided to deal with it himself. “Hey everyone, *yawn* ehh, I'm just gonna deal with that real quick. I dont think it's too serious right now.”

Everyone gave various noises of agreement as Mk went to deal with the sigil.

Pigsy noticed some light was peaking through the ceiling, but he saw how everyone still felt tired to the core.

Sandy tried to go back to sleep, and Mei went on her phone. Pigsy heard short curses when she did so, so he assumed it didn't have much battery left.

Pigsy decided to do the same as he pulled out his own phone, a considerably older model than Mei's but still functional.

He checked the time and saw it was near 10:40 AM, which was a lot later than Pigsy had thought. Ignoring that for now, he checked on everything else on his phone, which wasn't much other than his messages and some social media that he scrolled for inspiration sometimes and to promote Pigsy's Noodles at Mei's request.

After looking through some mediocre recipes for pot pie and some weird throwback gelatin dinners, he goes and looks at his messages from the past few days.

The one at the top was Sandy, which wasn't a surprise as Sandy almost always sent him photos of the therapy cat's every day. The photo from yesterday was a calico cat curled up on Sandy's sofa, sucking in the sun from a nearby window.

Pigsy smiled at it before looking at his other messages, skipping a lot of spam he had built up, and then seeing a name that made his stomach drop a bit.

He saw his texts to Tang from that night under everything. This finally kicked in Pigsy's memory as he realized he had totally blown Tang off and how he had even threatened Tang to come by or else he would drag him there…

But before he could go and type out a huge apology text, he noticed how Tang hasn't texted him at all since that day at the library. There weren't any missed calls either, which put Pigsy a bit on edge. Maybe Tang didn't even know they were gone yet.

And now he was debating telling Tang everything that happened. He's wondering if Tang is okay, that if he dumped everything that happened at the mountain on Tang that it would put too much pressure on the scholar, and what he should text to make sure Tang wouldn't freak out and to show that him and everyone were ok and didn't just disappear.

He debated with himself for a long time, typing out words and then deleting them almost right away. He couldn't make up his mind as he didn't know what to say in the end.

Mk came back soon after, yawning and going straight back to sleep in his bag, encouraging Mei to do the same.

Now Pigsy was the last one up again, overthinking over what to text to reassure Tang everything is okay and that Pigsy wouldn't put him off again.

He just decided to wing it after his eyes started to become heavy, trying very hard not to give the scholar another thing to worry about. He already had enough on his plate.

Freeloader 📖🤎

10:46 AM

You: Hey Tang

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#lmk au #lmk tang #a world without him #lmk #lego monkie kid #tang monkie kid #tang #some different character POV's #mainly to ease into the next arc and to show that they arent irrelevant #hopefully this doesnt come off as filler...#thanks for reading tho!

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neuro--nerd · 2 years

Text

in crisis

TW: mental health, suicide

Last week I was in crisis.

It was Wednesday afternoon and I was at the beach with my friend. We go there a lot, it is one of my favourite things to do. The ocean was calm but instead of soothing, it made everything inside of me worse. I had been spiralling down for a while, but something inside of me shifted. I actually made a comment to my friend about how the ocean made me want to die. I wasn’t joking. I don’t remember doing much of anything after that. The thoughts just kept coming all evening. I started planning. I was talking to another friend, one who had been by my side since first grade. He begged me to reach out to somebody. I promised I would in the morning. But I didn’t sleep all night. I hadn’t been sleeping very well, a lot of waking up, trouble falling asleep, and a lot of nightmares. I thought a lot about ways to die. I narrowed down my list.

First thing Thursday morning I emailed my psychologist. I wrote it before I left for school and then sent it while I was walking across campus. I expected an email back so when I sat down in our classroom I took out my ipad so I could answer it right away. To my surprise, not even fifteen minutes later, she was calling me. I stepped out into the hallway to answer the call. She asked me to come in to see her at 1 pm. Normally we do virtual appointments because I’m very wary about setting foot in the space her office is in (memories) but I agreed. I went back to class but couldn’t pay attention. After class I went to the library to buy a coffee and try to work on some things before my next class. She called again, just to make sure I was okay. We came up with a plan on how to pass the time between then and class. I didn’t really listen; I was not in the headspace to take care of myself. I walked to class, stood outside the door, and knew I couldn’t do it. So I left. I went home and was a little self destructive. Then I got in the car and drove to my appointment.

My psychologist is an amazing person. She is so kind, so thoughtful, caring, patient, and a bunch of other things. As a little back story, we met before she became my psychologist. She taught me abnormal psychology Fall 2021. On Thursday, when I had trouble finding the words for what I was feeling, she told me to take my time and that we had all afternoon. She asked me a lot of questions and listened to my answers. She decided that I needed to go to the hospital. She gave me three, make that two, options. She was going to suggest I could drive myself but I think we both knew that wasn’t going to work. Otherwise, I could call a friend or she could call the mobile crisis team. I chose to call (text) my friend. After spending two and a half hours with me, she walked me out to meet my friend and give instructions. She asked me to let her know when I was registered, but she would also check meditech. At this point I was a little angry with her. I didn’t want to do this.

We got to the hospital and I got registered and then a little while later I was triaged. It was the typical experience. What brought you in, vitals, medical history. Then I was taken back to see a nurse. Again, the standard questions. They let me wait in the waiting room with my friend instead of being cooped up. I knew things were going to go downhill when I saw the nurse practitioner. I just got the gut feeling. She ended up recognizing me. She was still great, but I worried. And my worries turned out to be warranted. When I eventually saw the psychiatrist, it was an experience that made me never want to see another one ever again. While I did not recognize this person when it happened, I knew who it was afterwards. It made me wonder whether they recognized me, considering the circumstances by which our paths have crossed. When this person (I will not be using pronouns because I do not feel comfortable sharing that, I have honest fears of backlash but the story needs to be told) asked me what my plans were, and I told them, they confirmed that it would work. I didn’t know how to respond but my mind immediately grabbed ahold of that information. Looking back, I am appalled that a physician would openly provide that information to their patient while in the midst of a crisis. But it didn’t stop there. They left the room to consult with somebody else and returned with a bloodwork requisition and prescription for more of one of the medications I expressed concern about. When I told them I wasn’t safe they told me, word for word, “just go home and do it”. They handed me the papers and cut off the conversation, saying “I’ll just leave these with you” and escorted me out. No further discussion, no safety plan (which I think was something really important in that moment), no crisis resources. Was I relieved to be going home? Yes, of course. But I knew I couldn’t keep myself safe. Not with no support, no plan. Not alone. At that moment I could no longer fight for myself. I didn’t want to. I made a decision in my head, one that I am not glad I didn’t follow through with.

When I returned to the waiting room, my friend was livid. And rightfully so. I didn’t tell them everything that had happened because at that point I was too tired. I just needed to get out of there. My friend tried to fight for me. They asked to speak to somebody, but that somebody sent out was a nurse who had not been involved in my care. Her only response was that this was the team’s decision and to come back the next day if needed because different staff would be on. I don’t understand why they sent her out, other than to be their scapegoat.

That night was a struggle. I emailed my psychologist and let her know what came of the trip. I did not sleep at all. I sat in bed, refining my plan. I cried. I tried to distract myself. I actually got up once to do it. But I went back to bed. I had an 8 am meal support with my dietician. I struggled. My psychologist emailed me and asked if I wanted to meet at 11. I said yes. I knew I wasn’t going to my classes. I couldn’t handle it.

I told my psychologist everything that happened. She was shocked and upset. She had to spend quite a bit of time convincing me not to gaslight myself. She asked me how I felt, if things had gotten any better overnight. I didn’t want to tell her the truth, that things had only went downhill. So I told her the same. And she told me I had to go back. I had said before I went in that I was not going back there, no matter what. So I sat in her office, silent. I refused to speak to her, to acknowledge the choices she was giving me. We sat there through her lunch break. I felt guilty for wasting her time. She was nothing but patient with me. I am so thankful for that. She promised me things would be different.

And this time they were different. They knew I was coming. I didn’t need to register. I was immediately taken back for vitals, there were less questions. Again, instead of waiting, I was taken to a small room and seen by a nurse almost immediately. They told me they’d expedite the process since I had been there the day before. That didn’t happen, but the entire time I was treated with respect. The student even introduced herself with her pronouns and asked mine. This was a first. In the end they decided to admit me.

And that is another story.

I want you to know that it is okay to reach out for help when you’re in a crisis. Sometimes we don’t always get the response that we need, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try again. I tried to find some consistently helpful local resources to end this blog with, but the truth is they’re all a crap shoot.

The crisis text line: text Wellness to 741741. They have previously ended my chat in the middle of a crisis a couple of times. Sometimes they have been helpful. You can also text Connect to 686868 if you’re a youth. Both of these numbers route to Kids Help Phone.

Instead of the old crisis line, you can now call 811. It is staffed by nurses. I have not heard many helpful things before the transition to 811, so I don’t really imagine that it is much better now. They also now manage the mobile crisis response team, which will send police along with a mental health clinician. This is not the best option. Some people have found the service very helpful, but others have found it traumatic.

Talk suicide has a national hotline: 1-833-456-4566. I have never used this number nor have heard any reviews.

So, yeah. I am still trying to process the experience I had at the hospital. I knew I needed to share it because it was not okay and I don’t want anyone else to feel alone in their experiences. I demonstrate for long term mental healthcare, but it is clear that out mental healthcare is broken all the way through. I will not be silent about it. We deserve better care, and a new building is not going to fix that.

Stay cool, Kaiden

#mental health #hospital #mental illness #emergency #crisis #personal #textpost #blog #recovery #bipolar #depression #resources

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classickook · 2 years

Text

paper hearts (part four): mixed signals

pairing: stephen strange x widow!reader

summary: stephen has been messing with your head for far too long now and you’re finally fed up with his actions. what happens when he admits something that completely ruins everything?

warnings: angst, mentions of ptsd and depression, swearing, stephen being an idiot

word count: 4.6k

a/n: shit kinda hits the fan in this one lol very excited to hear your thoughts!

series masterlist | main masterlist

four and a half weeks had passed since your little training mishap, and your ribs were healing rather well. a dull ache still resonated on your side, but the bruising and swelling had gone down tremendously. the past several weeks had been torture, though; having to sit out on training and missions, missing out on all the action and staying cooped-up inside the compound.

on top of all that, being unable to go for a ride through the city on your motorbike felt more stifling and confining than anything else; however, now that you were finally on the road to recovery, you couldn’t wait to get out of the compound and back into the fresh air: going on morning runs with sam, taking america to delmar’s again, and kicking yelena’s ass in the ring to make up for lost time.

stephen had offered to portal you whenever and wherever you wanted, but you felt rather uncomfortable relying on him for things like that. you didn’t want to depend on anyone, especially him, for anything as you were more than capable of taking care of yourself, regardless of any minor injury such as this, and besides, you could always borrow sam’s car so there was no need to include stephen in your daily life if it wasn’t completely necessary.

you had received a ping earlier that morning, pulling you out of bed after another restless night laden with nightmares, alerting you of an upcoming mission that had arisen and would be the team’s main focus for the next couple of days to sort out.

reading through the message, your eyes drifted up to the top where your name was listed: agent y/n romanoff. you didn’t have a last name. well, technically you did, assigned to you by dreykov as well as all other widows, but you loathed to refer to yourself as anything relating to him. instead, you took natasha’s last name as your own since she saved you from the red room, and the universe from thanos. she was a hero in every sense of the word, and it felt right to honor her name, her legacy, by carrying her surname with you as you traveled through life when she couldn’t any longer. you didn’t know her as well as yelena did, and you didn’t get to spend as much time with her or spend a childhood together like your counterpart had the opportunity of experiencing, but she felt like a sister to you, for the time that you had her, at least. you missed her, as a friend, as a sister, as a mentor, and you wished, now more than ever, that you could have her back in your life again.

after the red room, the blip, natasha—everything—your world felt is it was collapsing in on itself and you didn’t know how to go about life anymore. you had yelena, sure, and she was the closest person you had who knew how you felt and what you went through; well, her and bucky, that is. he had even recommended his therapist to you, admitting that, after finally giving the woman a chance, she had helped him cope with his past and his demons, allowing him to finally move on with life in this century; he still struggled now and again, experiencing nightmares and flashbacks and pinpricks of guilt that stabbed at his conscience, but he was healing, and that’s what mattered most. you figured you might as well give it a try, just for shits and giggles to see if it actually did something for you; however, you had yet to see any major improvement. all that you got out of your sessions so far was confirmation that your life sucked and you were currently suffering from survivor’s guilt, though you weren’t sure how you could be considered a survivor when you weren’t at natasha’s side when everything happened in the first place. maybe if you had been, if you hadn’t stayed behind at the compound, you could have taken her place; you could have been the one to exchange your life for the soul stone, and then she would still be here: with yelena, with her friends and all of the other avengers who felt the gaping hole in their lives where she once belonged. maybe she could’ve had the opportunity to fall in love and start a family, to finally take a break from all of her heroic duties and live for once, but that’s not what happened.

you thought back to the brief moments you spent jumping through the multiverse and it got you thinking… maybe there was a universe, or more than one—god, you hoped there was more than one—where natasha didn’t have to die. that she was out there somewhere, alive and well and happy. you wondered if other versions of you were part of her life in other universes, if she was your sister there too.

“good morning, sam. ‘morning, buck,” you announced as you made your way down the stairs and into the kitchen, grabbing an apple from the fruit bowl before you headed out for the day.

“morning, sleeping beauty,” sam’s deep voice greeted back. without warning, you were pulled to his side and into a headlock, ruffling your hair a bit in the process. “glad to see you out and about, i almost forgot what you looked like. hey, are those new boots? buck, do those look new to you?”

“back up with the morning breath, wilson. you’re frying my hair off.” he chuckled in response but you just smiled sweetly at him before stomping on his foot with said boot and elbowing him in the side until he let you go. “you’re a real pain in my ass, you know that?” you said. “how do you even stand being around him, bucky?” you asked, turning your attention over to the super soldier in question.

“i ask myself that every day,” bucky deadpanned from his seat at the kitchen table, leafing through the morning paper with his vibranium arm.

sam choked out a throaty laugh, “funny, i ask myself that about you every day.” he eyed the two of you, his gaze flickering back and forth from one to the other. “you two are absolute heathens. i did not wake up this morning for you to—”

“put a sock in it, would you, pal?” bucky grumbled. “i can’t concentrate over your yapping.”

it was all in good fun, teasing each other like this. after everything you had been through, you all craved some semblance of normalcy and camaraderie, and the two of them really felt like best friends to you, like you could rely on them for anything and they would always have your back, as you would theirs. it was nice to have them by your side.

“well, if you two lovebirds are done quarreling,” you said with a smirk as they both glared at you, “i’m probably going to stop at the store while i’m out. either of you guys need anything?”

“yeah, grab me a new captain while you’re out, this one is getting on my nerves,” bucky said but was quickly rewarded by a firm kick to his chair from sam that nearly knocked him over.

sam turned to you with his short list of requests from the store and you were off, absolutely thrilled to get out and back onto your bike that was parked at the far side of the building.

“i’ve missed you, baby,” you told the inanimate piece of machinery. “it’s been too long.” as you reached out to grasp the handlebars and take on your usual stance around the motorbike, however, something felt strange; a certain resistance that was preventing you from climbing onto the bike. you tried again, this time using just your hand to grasp the handlebar, but you were pushed back, unable to make any contact at all. you groaned in frustration as you realized who could have been behind this. you pulled out your phone and selected the most recent contact on your screen.

what the hell? you typed out, no ‘hello’ or greeting of any kind. he wasn’t deserving of any niceties at the moment.

that’s an interesting way of saying good morning, stephen replied.

funny. you put a spell on my bike?

i had a feeling you would go off making reckless decisions regardless of my professional opinion, so, yes, i put a spell on your bike that prohibits you from riding it until i know you’re fully healed.

but you said three weeks! it’s been over four, i’m perfectly fine, you reasoned.

i would prefer the full six weeks.

you rolled your eyes as you texted him back with a single word: asshole.

maybe so, but at least i’ll know you’ll be safe.

your fingers paused over the screen. when did he start caring all of a sudden? i didn’t realize my safety was a major concern of yours.

a few moments later, you got your response: now you know.

you didn’t know how to respond to that so you said nothing, instead, pocketing your phone and trying to erase him from your mind. he was messing with your head again and it was only getting progressively worse. you seriously needed to cut yourself off from him once and for all before you got hurt… well, more hurt than you already were. there was only so much one person could take, and you were starting to reach your limit.

heading back inside the compound with a dejected look on your face, you borrowed the keys to sam’s car to use for transportation until a certain sorcerer would let you back on your bike. who did he think he was, honestly? he had no right to prohibit you from doing anything, let alone moving about freely. who cared if you weren’t completely healed yet? that was your decision to make, you knew your body better than any doctor, especially him, and you had been through far worse throughout your life; you could handle this. your annoyance only intensified with each thought that flew through your mind, and you took a deep breath to calm yourself down. it wasn’t worth it, you told yourself. he was a control freak, thought he knew better than anyone else, just because he was a world-famous surgeon and now world-saving sorcerer… please. maybe the other christine had a point when she told him back in 838 that he always had to be the one holding the knife. after all, she knew him better than you did, and it was clear to you now that he did have to hold the knife, save the world, save you, but you didn’t need saving, and certainly not from him.

you walked with america inside the sanctum after school with her insisting, once again, that you needed to come in. she didn’t bother using an excuse this time, but she was very adamant about you seeing stephen, which you weren’t too pleased about. you were still mad at him over the whole bike thing, and you weren’t sure how you would go about confronting him without yelling or punching him square in the jaw. okay, maybe that was a bit harsh, you scolded yourself.

america threw a cheeky grin your way before running up the stairs and into her bedroom. you sighed, feeling ridiculous for just standing in the entryway of the sanctum while stephen was somewhere inside doing god knows what.

as if your brief thought of him conjured him out of thin air, he appeared before you as he descended the staircase in the middle of the room, dressed in his usual blue robes and sentient red cloak fluttering behind him. “how’s my favorite patient doing?” he asked with a self-satisfied smirk.

you rolled your eyes. “i’m fine, but that was a shitty thing to do, doc. take the spell off my bike.”

“what’s the magic word?”

it took everything in your power to not kick him in the shin right now. “please,” you said through gritted teeth.

he tsked, “it was actually dormammu, but since you asked so nicely…” he waved his hand in front of him and seemed pleased with whatever the hell he just did.

“well?” you asked, arms crossed over your chest.

“your bike is all yours now,” he said. “but take things easy. don’t ride for too long, and stop immediately if you feel any pain.”

“seriously, doc. i’m perfectly fine.”

the corner of his mouth quirked up into an almost-smile. “i know you are,” he said softly. “i’m just looking out for you.”

“i can look after myself, thanks,” you said sharply. “have been for quite some time now, actually, and i don’t need you swooping in and controlling everything. you have no right.”

stephen’s face fell but he quickly shuttered his expression, once again donning the usual self-confident air about him that irked you to no end.

“well,” you started, clapping your hands together in finality, “it looks like we’re done here, so i’ll be heading out now.”

“actually, y/n, i wanted to talk to you about something,” stephen said. “do you mind staying for another few minutes?”

you knew you shouldn’t stay, just being around him like this would only get you into trouble, but you sighed and agreed, “sure, i guess i don’t have anything else to do, so you’re in luck. what’s up?”

stephen’s hands were clasped together in front of him and you noticed how they trembled slightly even as he tried to hide it from you. “i’ve been thinking… and i don’t mean to overstep, but america and i… we—” he cleared his throat awkwardly before continuing, “we both really enjoy your company, and thought it might be nice to see you around more often. if you have time.”

your forehead scrunched in confusion. “um… i guess i’m not quite sure what you’re asking.”

“right, right,” he muttered. “i guess what i’m trying to say is that you’ve become someone important to me—us,” he corrected. “and i’d really like to see you, spend time with you… if you’d like that. and, well… what i mean to say is, i think i’m falling in love you, y/n,” he said finally.

your eyes widened at his confession. isn’t that what you’ve been wanting to hear for so long? somehow, though, it didn’t feel genuine.

he watched you closely, concerned at your hesitation and silence over what he had said. “shit, i’m sorry. did i make you uncomfortable?” his eyes creased with worry and he did look apologetic, but it was too late for that now.

a humorless laugh escaped your throat. “you know, it’s funny you should mention that. i thought i loved you once, but it was clear that your affections were directed elsewhere and there was no room for me.”

“loved?” he echoed.

you smiled tightly. “yes, because pining after someone who doesn’t notice you or put in any effort kind of hinders one’s feelings.” you couldn’t believe you were finally telling him all of this, especially in this particular situation, but you supposed it was time it came up so you could get it off your chest once and for all, so you could move past him and what he did to you. “i want you to pick me first, strange. not just because i’m all that’s left and you can’t have who you truly want. that’s not fair to me.”

“that’s not—what are you talking about?”

your gaze dropped to the damn watch still clasped around his wrist and your anger—hurt—over the situation increased tenfold. “i have been second to christine all this time and i will not be the person you settle for because you can’t have her,” you admitted.

“y/n…”

you couldn’t meet his eyes, instead, focusing on the door across the room and making quick steps outside without another word to him.

“y/n, wait,” he begged, long strides catching up with you as his hand reached forward to lightly circle around your wrist. “talk to me. please.”

“you still have the watch,” you blurted.

his brows lowered in confusion, eyeing said watch that was still attached to his wrist before looking back at you. “i do… it functions all the same, i just need to repair the face—”

“the two of you broke up,” you reminded him. “she’s married. or did you get so caught up in this idealized fantasy of yours that you forgot?”

“now wait a minute—” he started, frustration lacing his tone as you cut him off again.

“but there’s clearly some sentimental value surrounding it. if you’ve kept it all this time, you still have some sort of an attachment to it.”

“it’s not like that—”

“it is, though. you don’t need to keep lying to me, okay? just… make up your mind, would you? one minute you’re actually pretty nice and i think we might be friends”—or something, you didn’t say aloud— “but then the next, it’s blatantly obvious that you can’t let go of your past. that’s fine, all right? i get it, you two have history. but i need you to be straight with me, you can’t keep stringing me along like this and giving me false hope. i can’t keep waiting for you, strange. it’s not fair to me. i don’t deserve that.”

he ran a scarred hand down his face as he tried to come up with a reasonable response, anything that would get you to listen to him. “i know. shit, i know i messed up, y/n, and i’m trying to talk to you. just let me explain.”

“explain what? how you still have feelings for your ex? that you ‘love her in every universe’?” his eyes widened slightly at your remembrance of that day at the dilapidated sanctum. “yeah,” you continued, “i was there, which obviously escaped your notice at the time considering you were too busy pouring out your heart to her, on the verge of risking an incursion to be with her, when we were fighting for our lives. how did you expect me to feel after that, strange? did you really think i would just come running back to you, go back to the way things were before, let you in after you abandoned me? i was practically invisible to you. i was counting on you, okay? you asked for my help, which i was more than happy to do, and how did that work out for me?”

you were breathing heavily now, chest rising and falling in stuttered breaths. agitation ran through your veins until your hands shook and you self-consciously squeezed them into fists so he couldn’t see how this was affecting you, and you felt your nails dig sharply into your palms as indentations of crescent moons pinched at your skin. you didn’t usually get worked up like this, after years of training and self-discipline, you should be able to control your anger better than this, but something about stephen manipulating you in such a way, pulling you in different directions time and time again, dug under your skin to the point where you couldn’t reel in your anger any more. “not well, strange. i’m not going to be your backup for christine. you think that just because you can’t have her, i’m the next best thing? i don’t deserve that. it’s cruel, and if you can’t see that—see what’s standing right in front of you, and has been for a while now—well then, i don’t know what to tell you.”

“shit. y/n, i’m—”

you held up your free hand, stopping his next words. “don’t bother apologizing to me, especially if it’s not wholly genuine. that’s not going to resolve anything. you’re a grown man, stephen strange, and it’s about time you start acting like it. you don’t know what you want and when you finally do, you don’t even have the guts to fight for it. you’re a coward.” your face felt hot, like you were burning up from the inside, or like the room was about to burst into flames and swallow you up in plumes of smoke and ash. you needed to get out of there, as far away from stephen and the sanctum as quickly as possible before you broke down completely. that would only further your humiliation; not only has he treated you like shit, but he would also see just how horribly it was affecting you.

“from now on, we’re just coworkers and that’s it. i’ll remain civil with you, for america’s sake, and i’ll continue to pick her up from school and drop her off like usual, but that’s as far as it goes. i’m not coming inside anymore and i’d really prefer not to talk to you, if i can get away with it. and if i’m being completely honest, doc,” you said, voice deathly quiet, “i can’t stand you.”

the look that fell over stephen’s face could only be described as pure anguish, the skin around his mouth tightening into a grimace that somehow reached his blue eyes until his entire face was awash with shame and guilt and heartbreak, but you didn’t care; let him wallow in self-pity and torment for a while, he deserved it.

maybe you were being a bit too harsh, too dramatic, and you figured you would probably regret your outburst once you had cooled down a bit, but at the current moment, you felt that the situation warranted this kind of behavior, or maybe you were finally so fed up with everything that you just… snapped.

“let go of me, doc,” you said, unable to meet his eyes now. he must have realized the severity of the situation from your tone of voice, as he promptly released your wrist and watched you walk away, leaving him behind. you didn’t look back, determined to remove yourself from bleecker street and back to the other side of the city, back to the safety of your bedroom at the compound. you shoved the heavy wooden doors open as your heart was torn to shreds because of him for a second time.

the following afternoon, america grabbed her backpack from the floorboard of the passenger seat, quickly jumping out of the car and running up the steps to the sanctum’s entrance, but paused once she noticed you weren’t following behind. turning back to look at you still standing by the parked car, she said, “what are you doing? i thought you were coming inside?”

you shook your head. “not today, kiddo.”

“but—”

“i’ll pick you up after school tomorrow, same time as usual, okay? ‘night, america,” you said, beginning to open the door and drive back the way you came, but she stopped you before you could get much further.

“hey, wait!” she called after your retreating back. “what’s going on with you?”

you sighed, figuring you might as well be honest with the teen. she trusted you and looked up to you, and you felt it was your responsibility to set things straight. “i know what you were trying to do, america, but it’s not going to work. so just… stop. please.”

“i wasn’t doing anything…”

you fixed her with a pointed look.

“okay, maybe i was… but i don’t understand, i thought you two really liked each other. i thought you would finally get together if i just…” she trailed off.

“it was a cute thought, but i can’t be around him like that anymore. i’m sorry, but from now on, i’ll just drop you off in front of the sanctum. i can’t go inside, i can’t be around him. i really just don’t want to see him.”

she took a step forward, her brown eyes wide and pleading. “but he misses you.”

you scoffed, but you didn’t sound as aloof as you were hoping to. “no, he doesn’t.”

“but y/n, really,” she insisted again, taking another step toward you. “he does like you. i know he does, you just need to give him a chance.”

“i can’t keep giving him more chances. i’ve tried and it’s come back to bite me in the ass every time. i’m not going to do that to myself anymore.” you had come to a final decision regarding stephen and you were sticking to it; no more contact with him, period.

“but—” she started.

“he told me he loved me,” you admitted quietly.

america squealed with delight. “oh my god, he did? this is great, that means you can finally get together like i’ve been telling you would happen! i knew there had to be a reason why you were acting funny.”

you cut her off. “not so fast, kiddo. it didn’t get very far.”

her face dropped. “what? why not?”

“i walked away,” you said with a shrug. “he’s just stringing me along, giving me just a glimmer of hope that he might feel something for me, but he’s still in love with christine. i’m not taking his shit anymore.”

“what do you mean?”

“he’s still wearing the watch.”

“the one christine gave him?”

your lips stretched into a tight smile. “the very one.”

“what an ass,” she fumed.

you snorted. “yeah, that and the fact that he told christine that he loves her in every universe—right in front of me—doesn’t help much either.”

“he said what?” she yelled.

your head tilted in confusion. “wait, you didn’t know?” america was the multiversal know-it-all, how could she not know this happened, in various universes or just the one.

“no! holy shit, he really is an ass. i can’t believe he would do that! no wonder you hate him so much.”

“i don’t necessarily hate him,” you replied honestly. it was true, you didn’t hate him per se, but you certainly weren’t pleased by the whole situation… it was complicated. “i just wish he would stop messing with my head like this. he’s giving me whiplash. at this rate, it’s best if i just stay away from him completely, because giving him even a sliver of a chance clearly wasn’t worth it.” you offered her an apologetic smile. “sorry, kiddo. but from now on, i’m just dropping you off outside of the sanctum. i don’t want to see him,” you said again, tone serious and unwavering. “and no more meddling, all right? it’s not going to happen.”

“yeah, okay,” she sighed. “i understand.”

“see you tomorrow,” you said, starting up the car again and pulling away as america watched from the doorstep.

stephen had left you numerous voice messages since then, but you didn’t have the heart to listen to them, convinced that they would only make things worse; and maybe hearing his deep, husky voice again would just cause your resolve to crumble and you might run the risk of going back to him. you couldn’t do that—you wouldn’t do that. it was probably best if you just deleted his number altogether and moved on with your life.

you were allowing him far more control over you and your thoughts than was deserved, it was sickening. you wouldn’t cry over him and you wouldn’t lose sleep over him. he was a pathetic mess of a man and you didn’t have time for him; you had wasted enough of that already, and you were over it. you needed to move past this little slipup and continue on with life as if he had never meddled with it in the first place.

and that was a promise to yourself you intended to keep.

taglist: @stygianoir @poor-unfortunate-soul-85 @samisubi @seishoari @mischiefmanaged71 @pasta-warlord @elicheel @vesta-ro @luthientinu @torresbarnes @kikus-art @stanny-uwu @hospitaldaydream @loki-is-loved @slvtforstr4nge @sofi786

#paper hearts #doctor strange #stephen strange #doctor strange fic #doctor strange fanfic #doctor strange fanfiction #doctor strange x you #doctor strange x y/n #doctor strange x reader #stephen strange fic #stephen strange fanfic #stephen strange fanfiction #stephen strange x you #stephen strange x y/n #stephen strange x reader

390 notes · View notes

hotdamnhunnam · 3 years

Note

Jax + 👀⏰🚭

Thanks for your request for my Emoji Fic Fest! 💗

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Up in Smoke

Pairing: Jax Teller x F!Reader Warnings: smut, swearing, overused tropes y’all have already read (friends to lovers + only 1 bed) Word Count: ~1.3k Emoji Prompt: 👀⏰🚭 (key words are in bold)

“What?”

You glare at him and keep your mouth shut. How the fuck dare he ask what.

He went and said it as if he has any right to look so hot when he’s supposed to look like shit. Just sitting there. Sleep-deprived stare, messy ass hair. Ratty old shirt stinking of sweat and dirt and he just doesn’t care. Jax Fucking Teller never looks like shit, not even just a little bit.

Last night he got stuck in a fight and needed somewhere quiet he could crash and hide. As his best friend you somehow got caught in the middle of it. Now you and Jax are cooped up here in this motel out on the roadside. Some unspoken tension rears its ugly head between you two and you’ve no clue how to get rid of it.

Actually you do—you have more than just a clue—you know you need this stupid sexy piece of shit to fucking fuck you.

“How’d you sleep,” you ask without lifting your voice into a question. Your own sleep wasn’t that deep. You’d tossed and turned in every possible direction. On a mattress that felt like the pit of hell—expected nothing less from this motel, given the room was so dirt cheap.

He gives you that signature you’re-a-stupid-whore look which between friends is endearing. Friends or not, coming from him it’s fucking hot. A whole damn kink. “How do you think.”

You cross your arms and scowl. He chose to sleep on a scrappy old towel. “Christ, don’t be a dick about it. I told you to take the blanket but you said you’d be fine on the floor without it.”

Jax ignores that and just pulls a cigarette out. Sticks it in the sweet pink pucker of his mouth. You want to be that cigarette right now. You wish he’d read your mind somehow. Why can’t this big blonde idiot figure it out…?

He takes a puff and looks so hot you might start choking. You can’t handle that today. “Put that away. This room’s non-smoking.”

Snickers at you as his broad shoulders lift up in a slight shrug. “Do I look like I give a fuck?”

You start to fume, the smell of smoke and your own slutty desperation swirling all around the room. “You’re gonna set off the alarm—”

Reach down to yank the cigarette out of his mouth but then he swiftly grabs your arm. That ice-blue fire in his eyes that could do you serious harm. The way you wish he would—he’d rough you up so fucking good… he’s more the fire-breathing dragon than Prince Charming but to you the beast has all the fucking charm.

Last night he’d been a gentleman and had insisted that you take the bed. Today you’re mad ‘cause you had been desperate for him to share the bed with you instead.

He doesn’t know that yet. But he could sense it from the second that you grabbed his cigarette. Jax doesn’t want your lifelong friendship to go up in smoke but he’s been itching to get in your pants for years and if you’re standing here and handing him a ticket… maybe if the sex is epic then it’s worth getting his dick wet. Epic sex is one thing Jax Fucking Teller never regrets.

***************

“Bitch, all you had to do was ask.”

He’s such an ass. That shit is so typical Jax.

He growls it fierce, ridge of his teeth grazing the soft lobe of your ear—thick fingers slide across your slick sensitive clit, seeking the tight heat of your slit—then fucking pierce—he can’t believe he has you here and holy shit—it’s stark how different you appear. He tells himself it’s just a fuck, but no such luck, as something sparks and runs him over like a truck.

Jax Teller never feared the dark but just the light: something that felt too fucking bright. Done so much wrong he has no right. Having you near—this was exactly what he’d feared. Had tried to fight. He’d won last night. He’s losing it with you right here.

The lines between friendship and whatever this is should’ve stayed clear. For fucking years, that was the path he’d tried to steer. Stroking his dick alone in bed, or drowning in another chick he had just met—picturing you instead—that was the closest he could get.

Until you grabbed that motherfucking cigarette.

It’s barely been a minute yet, and you’re already dripping wet. It hits him now that’s how you’ve always been for him. It hits him now that you adore him. That you’d do anything for him.

Hits him in the way you hold him like you’re on the verge of death—the way you lick into the heaven of his kiss with your sweet tongue, fucking explore him—suck the smoke out of his lungs, white hot and seething. You’re the fire that the beast in him is breathing. He’s your first and last and only fucking breath.

You’re set to shatter into pieces on his knuckles, and he wants to fucking cry at just how beautiful you are, but that’s the shit that would cut deep enough to scar, and so instead he fucking chuckles.

Makes you weak; you’d scream at him if you had words to even speak. Just leave it to this piece of shit to fucking lighten it. He drags his fingers from your soaking cunt right in the instant just before you hit your peak, and you can’t keep him in no matter how you tighten it.

Here you had thought you both felt something that meant everything, but suddenly you worry that your inner slut got carried off imagining. Suddenly you think of course that’s not what’s happening. You’re just spread out beneath your best friend on the crap mattress of some seedy motel, and there’s no fucking way the fallout from this session will go over well. No way you can go back to what you were, after this ravaging. No way you can go further and become more in the future, which is what your stupid little heart desires more than anything. No way in hell. No way in fucking hell.

You’re slipping fast and he can tell. Tripping somewhere inside yourself. He’d run away from all the weight of that—or fuck through all the issues, if it’s not too late for that—that’s what he’d do, if you were anybody else.

You’re not.

You’re you and that’s what scares him. Like, a lot. He’s never felt something that tears him, but he’s shocked to find the pain and fear of feeling more than he can even bear just makes him harder, pushes him to take this farther. God, it’s super fucking hot.

The doubt and heartbreak radiating from you twist him up in knots. Jax had no clue, just what that little laugh off of his wicked lips would do. He did it to protect himself but didn’t think it would screw you. He sees it’s true, your pretty face painting the picture of your thoughts. Inches from pushing him away but pull him close instead ‘cause whether friend or lover, you’ll still love him like no other. Cling to him with all you’ve got.

He knows you better than he has any damn right to. He’s in you before he ever drives inside you. Always has been. This was real before it happened.

Holds you as you’re gasping—big strong hand soft on your face, the other keeps your hips in place, forehead against yours as he looks at you with eyes the blue of hope and then becomes the rope you’re grasping.

All the lines of who you were—the blindness of before—didn’t just blur. They fucking broke. You take him deep into your core, and let him wreck until it hurts, beg without words, for him to fuck you like a whore and so much more, and breathe him in so deep you choke.

There’s light on both ends of this cigarette, and no regret, as everything goes up in smoke.

..................................................

Emoji Fic Masterlist

Emoji Fic Tag List – below; if you’d like to be added or removed, just let me know!

@happyhunnams @band--psycho @est11 @edonaspanca @starbooty @innerpaperexpertcloud @i-love-scott-mccall @six-camelot @alexa-rae-dreamz @coffeebooksandfandom @thesuicidalflower @flaireandsynch @helloheyhihowdyheya @gemini0410 @waywardodysseys @zozebo @bettergetusetoit @emilykjh @little-diable @rocketqueen @mrspeacem1nusone @miss-smutty @rayslittlekitten @abby-splace @chubbychubbs28 @miraclesoflove @tegggeeee @hunnambabe @missusnora @kesskirata @vixenrebellion @thexhostess @pomegranatearildreams @kandii395 @severewobblerlightdragon @itspdameronthings @niki-xie @cind-in-real-life @saweetspoiled @poge-life @few-proud-emotonal @samanthaisnthome @melodranas @soaharleys @charlie-hunnams-old-lady @simpmasterjr @nataliewalker93 @lovebarefootblonde @marvelousmermaid @tsukuyomi011 @sciapod @midnight-dreams-23

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wolfeyedwitch · 2 years

Note

I am torn, either 🍽 or ☀️ for the weapon? (Or both if you feel like it!)

🍽 - A special treat of their choice

☀️ - A nice day outside

This is set further in the future, once the rebels came to the conclusion that the Weapon needed an actual name and decided to call them Doe.

Masterlist

-------

"Hey Boss? We're going for a walk," Chloe said.

The leader looked up at Chloe, then over to Doe where they stood a step behind her. For a moment, they thought he would say no, that Doe wasn't allowed to leave the base.

Instead, all he said was, "Take a comm with you."

"Yes!" Chloe said, turning and raising a hand for a high-five.

Doe gently tapped their hand against hers.

"Close enough; come on!" She practically pulled them along as she jogged towards the exit, her backpack bouncing on her shoulders as she went.

Chloe hadn't said what she was planning. All she'd said was that they were going to have a fun day outside, because they'd been "cooped up inside too long; you need some sunshine!"

Doe felt... strange, as they walked out. It was a far cry from the last time they'd left a building. Then, they'd been a scared little thing too cowed to even think of doing anything but following their orders. They'd looked at their feet, not allowing themself to look up and see the world. They'd worn nothing but thin scrubs, clothing that did almost nothing to protect them from the elements.

Now? Now they were with a friend, going on an adventure. They drank in the scenery, the bright jewel-blue sky above the red-brown rocky soil and sparse plants. They wore jeans and hiking boots and a wide-brimmed hat. (Chloe had insisted, something about them being paler than a sheet of paper and not needing a sunburn on top of everything else.)

They walked side by side, alternating between comfortable silence and Chloe telling amusing stories. She never shamed them for needing to stop and catch their breath, and even made sure to remind them to stay hydrated.

Eventually, they got to a small group of man-made objects.

"It's a playground," Chloe explained. "I come here to get away from the team sometimes. I wanted to share it with you."

Doe smiled, touched by her thoughtfulness. "Thank you."

She grinned back, white teeth a stark contrast with her tan skin. "Come on!"

Chloe showed them around the playground. Some of it was too much like training for their liking, but others were such harmless fun that they couldn't help but enjoy it. They settled on the swings as Chloe demonstrated her upper body strength on the jungle gym. Eventually, she came and joined them and challenged them to see who could swing higher.

Chloe won, of course, given her greater familiarity with the apparatus. She leapt off at the height of her swing, landing gently on the padded ground nearby. She laughed until she lost her balance and ended up laying down and staring up at the sky.

"I haven't- done that- since I was a kid," she said between bouts of laughter.

Doe let their feet skid along the ground, bringing them to a stop. "Thank you for sharing, Chloe," they said softly.

Chloe turned to look at them, her ponytail spread out like a halo around her head. She grinned broadly. "Thanks for coming."

Before they started the trek back to the base, Chloe pulled one last surprise out of her backpack: a pair of apples. "Your favorite, right?"

Doe took the offered fruit gingerly, marveling at the shiny pink-red surface. "How did you..."

"You always save them for last," Chloe said. "And your face scrunches up when you eat them, with this little smile like... yeah. Like that."

Doe found they were smiling, to their surprise. They bit into the fruit, relishing the way it crunched between their teeth.

It was almost as sweet as the kindness Chloe had shown them.

-------

Taglist:

@appleejuice , @kim-poce , @badluck990 , @cupcakes-and-pain , @lonesome--hunter , @wits-and-wrongs, @neuro-whump , @winedark-whump @aswallowimprisoned , @rose-pinkie , @whumpy-writings , @whump-cravings , @secretwhumplair . @hobiisthesunfiteme , @whumpcreations , @myhusbandsasemni @heart4brains @kixngiggles

#weapons don't weep #ask game #asks answered #comfort ask #comfort ask game #a nice day outside #a special treat of their choice #living weapon #the weapon #weapon aka doe #chloe the youngest #caretaker chloe #chloe is nice #playground #swingset #a nice break in the angst #this is a love letter to my SO #they said i should practice writing comfort so i don't forget how to #so that's what i'm doing

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doubledgesword-2 · 4 years

Text

So someone stole my work, thought it was a good idea to impersonate me and claimed it was their own. So I’m posting it here so people know I’m the original author. Art is not mine. Part 1 Soulmate au! Please do not te upload somewhere else!!

WARNING NON-CON AND EXPLICIT SMUT

It was weird but not unheard of to have three soulmates. Lots of people reassured you it just meant more love for you. You, on the other hand, didn't felt it. Reading the names on both your wrists and the one on the top right corner of your back, just gave you chills. Not the good kind.

After doing some research on the names and better yet the last names of the three, you concluded that nothing good was going to come from this. You weren't a hunter, neither were you powerful. One could almost say you were average or normal when it came to brute strength.

So you did what any sane person would do. You disappeared. With some expert help and a lot of money involved, you erased yourself from the records, not leaving so much as a hair behind. It wasn't ideal, but you didn't want to spend the rest of your life running from a new enemy every week. Besides, if the three hadn't bothered to look for you, you figured you'd do them a favor, as angsty as it sounds.

Rural life wasn't bad. Leaving the big crowded cities and trading them for the quiet of the forest; it did you some good. You had a little cottage in the woods. Very far from anything and anyone. In the beginning, it was scary. What if something were to happened to you? Who would you run to? But as time went by, your experiences gave you the wisdom you needed.

So here you were gathering some water, inside a wooden bucket, from the nearby river. You pressed the bucket to your hip, leaning over to support the weight as your other hand had a bunch of pretty flowers. A nice touch for the kitchen today.

The forest was quiet today, peaceful with some little bird songs and the stream's running water. You walked amongst the trees happily, breathing in the cold air. Although the sun was beaming right on you, it didn't make you feel hot. The cold weather of the approaching winter contrasted the heat nicely inside your sweater.

Still, you kept walking blissfully, unaware of the stares focused on you. You did felt the paranoia hit you in the back, but this forest was vast, and in the time you'd lived here, no one has come across your little cottage.

Said cottage was in view as you walked. The sun setting meant you were on time to snug inside the house and turn on the chimney. Sure the smoke would be an indication that someone was there. But who would be looking for you? You had no family; cutting ties with your friends was easy since the relationships were shallow, and quitting the job felt like relief. You walked by your little garden, which was your pride and hobby, plus the only thing giving the house feel personality. The cottage wasn't like any standard wooden house. You asked it to be made and even pitched in with the workers to put some sweat into it. Afterward, all plans were equally erased like you. The house worked on solar panels, giving you the luxury of some electricity, which came in handy for the winter. A small chicken coop on the side gave you eggs and helped with the crops. It had the piping and whatnot, but overall everything was very eco friendly as you had insisted. You liked the place, and it seemed like a beautiful house to live the rest of your days without a worry. Sure it did get lonely during those sleepless nights. The ones were you thought too much about why your soulmates never cared to find you and reject you straight out. You didn't felt like dying by their hand. You weren't a fool; you knew their reputation, but something inside you gave you some light to hope. The light that you ended up squashing just because. The four of you were better off without each other. You really didn't want to be involved in their jobs and amusements.

You went inside, placing the bucket outside the front of the house and closing the heavy wooden door behind you locking it in the process. Inside the kitchen, you replaced the dying flowers with the new batch and quickly watched your hands to cook some dinner. You lighted the chimney in the living room, making the house feel warm and snuggly while putting some music on. You had taken off your shoes at the door and were parading around the house in fluffy socks, which made you slide into the kitchen as you danced like no one was watching.

As you stirred the pot and dropped more spices and ingredients into it, you heard a light tapping against the window at the kitchen side. Being in the forest had made you immune to the peculiar noises and the groans of the house when it was cold outside. You were pretty much anti-jump scare, but you were still new, so it was a work in progress.

You cleaned your hands on your apron and made your way to the window. You wanted isolation, but you weren’t completely crazy to be all alone in the woods. That’s why you made a friend.

“Well, hello there, big guy! How was your day today?” You opened the window, letting in the medium-sized fluffy black cat and closing it after he was inside.

You received a mewl as the cat rubbed himself against your legs and jumped on the turned dining chair. The kitchen and the dining room were fused, so you were sitting and reading while keeping an eye on dinner.

“Wow, taking my place? You’re rich, you know that?” The cat almost seems to shrug, giving you another mewl and licking his paws.

You smiled, shaking your head and focusing on dinner.

After everything was done, you washed the dishes and cleaned the surfaces. Just because you had a cat didn’t mean you wanted to give the mice a reason to come in. You rubbed the back of your neck, squeezing the spot as you walked towards your bathroom to wash up. The ball of black fluff eagerly following behind you to enter your room.

“You just want to get on my bed, don’t you? Here I was thinking you wanted to accompany me,” the cat meowed, jumping on the bed and kneading the folded blankets.

You chuckled, lighting the small fireplace inside the room. You turned to your vanity, picking your night clothes and turning to bathe. The warm water did help you relax more, maybe you shouldn’t carry the bucket with one arm. But the flowers you picked were worth it.

You came into the room towel in your hair and dressed in a robe. Only to stop abruptly, eyes widening at the fact that a man was sitting on your bed petting your cat like it was the most normal thing. He didn’t turn to look at you, and you quietly walked back, towel still in hand, but not far. You bumped into a hard chest, and if you hadn’t turned around to look, you would’ve thought it was the bedroom door. You gasped really scared at the fact that there were two men inside your bedroom, and you hadn’t even heard them come in. The man in front of you grinned joyfully and took a step towards you. Your eyes immediately went to the window in your room, and before you knew it, your feet had carried you there.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you” the cliche rolled off one of their tongues, making you annoyed and irked despite the adrenaline rush.

You turned glaring, and that’s when spotted the third man on the other of the room leaning against your vanity with a book in hand. This was bad. Really bad. It had been a short couple of years, but you could see the resemblance. They had found you.

“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, you’re quite hard to find” the man with the slicked-back hair closed the book looking at you with cold black eyes and the ghost of a smile. One, you didn’t return.

As he spoke the tall and pale, magenta hair one took two steps toward you placing his hand on his waist. You took a step back, eyeing him warily. You didn’t smile or showed any joy at the fact that your soulmates had actually found you. You didn’t felt the overflowing love people used to say you would for having more than one soul mark. Instead, all you felt was cold and afraid for your life, fear running icily in your veins. Despite having a nen ability, you knew little of it ,and you could feel the aura they were letting off. It didn’t reassure you. On the contrary, it made you feel like cornered prey.

“What do you want?” Your voice could be considered an authoritative whisper as it flowed shakily pass your lips.

There was a moment of silence, and then the one dressed as a clown laughed merrily at your question. You could see amusement slip through the cold expression from the man that had spoken before.

“Danchou, I thought she would be smart,” the clown asked, looking to the man to you.

Your eyes hardened, annoyed, but still, you said nothing. The only person who hasn’t spoken was the long black hair one petting your cat—that fluffy traitor.

“Well, maybe she doesn’t recognize us. That gives us the chance to introduce ourselves. My name’s Chrollo Lucilfer.”

“Hiso-“

“I know who you are, who all of you are,” you interrupted, looking at all three of them, making the clown arch a brow in interest. “That doesn’t answer what you’re doing here or what do you want” you were angry and scared, nervously looking into their eyes.

“My dear darling, well, that’s easily answered. We’re here to take you home, make you happy, and all the in-betweens,” the clown expressed, giving you a playful feeling. He was waiting for you to make a move so he could jump at you. They all were.

“Thank you, but I am home. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I would like to sleep, so if you could just leave?” You have them a sardonic smile hoping against hope they would accept the rejection and actually leave. It was a fool's wish.

“But soulmates are supposed to be together,” the man with long black hair finally spoke. His voice monotone and calm. It made your skin crawl. Oh, hell, no.

He finally turned to look at you, his big black eyes almost swirling and enchanting, a manipulator at its finest. You looked to the side, avoiding him.

“Then I could only assume that you three have found your soulmates. You’re together.”

“But it gets oh so lonely without you, little fruit” Hisoka was done playing from afar and slowly walked closer to you.

This made your bloodlust flare in a warning. They all got goosebumps just looking at it, feeling the sheer intention. It wasn’t as developed as theirs, but the fact that you weren’t afraid to push them away made their paints tight.

Hisoka let out a low groan, eyes half-lidded and looking at you with a perverted smile. You looked at your cat; you could get him later, and they were smart enough to survive. Then the towel in your hand and as Hisoka came to stand closer to you, you gripped the towel hard and threw it at him, covering his face for a brief moment that allowed you to pass him. They knew you weren’t a fighter, heck you had run from them in fear. It made you a smart coward in their eyes, but they weren’t expecting you to be so quick-witted and resourceful. They should have with you living in the middle of the forest and all. You slipped into the short hallway, feeling the breeze of something spearing near your face but missing you. It made you run even faster into the living room. What you weren’t expecting was the sudden failure of your body.

The minute you slipped into the hallway, Illumi had launched several needles your way. Even though some missed their mark, one hitting you square in the back was enough. You crumbled to the floor, clutching the small sofa and leaning on it as if you were crying. You might as well be—the intense pain coming from the center of your spine emitting pulse-like electricity. The stinging sensation made a couple of fears fall down. It left you breathless.

The trio calmly made their way into the living room, looking at your slumped form.

“Soulmates are meant to be together, with time you’ll understand. Staying with us is best for you.” Illumi was crouching near your form, grabbing your arms and pulling you to lean on him instead as he petted your hair for comfort. You tried to move away or do something to get out of his cold embrace, but each attempt was met with more pain. You whimpered.

“That was a rush. It makes me wonder...~” Hisoka groaned obscenely behind Illumi, talking to Chrollo.

“She does have spirit. That could prove to be a problem.”

“Oh~ but I don’t want to break her yet. Nice toys are so hard to come by these days.”

Your sniffles cut through their banter. Your form was trembling on Illumi’s lap as he kept petting your hair.

“Don’t move” Illumi’s hand slipped to your back, and you felt the sting of the needle being plucked. Your body relaxed, letting out a sigh and breathing greedily, but still shaking. The phantom pain made you involuntarily cling to Illumi’s arms for comfort, which made the assassin’s heart flutter. It was proof that you needed them, they just had to show you.

“We should show her how much she needs us” Illumi slightly turned to look at the other two, still holding you to his chest. His face expressionless as he spoke, but the excitement in his eyes can’t be denied.

Hisoka’s eyes gleamed, his tongue coming out to slowly lick his lips as he approached Illumi and crouched down close to the two of you.

“Hmmm, splendid idea, we have to show our little flower what she’s been missing all this time” Hisoka took a strand of your hair, twirling it and pulling slightly.

“Then it’s decided,” Chrollo’s voice felt like the judge giving the verdict to seal your fate away.

Hisoka didn’t wait for Illumi, he simply took you from his arms, bridal style and clutched you tightly to his chest. As if you were some long lost heirloom, he just found and couldn’t part with. You struggled a bit, jerking in his grasp, but the recent pain had left your muscles tender and sore.

Fighting was encouraged by them but had been diminished with their antics.

The way to your room felt like a death row walk, and you couldn’t help but keep wiggling pathetically in Hisoka’s strong arms. He looked down at you, his yellow half-lidded eyes were already a telltale of what’s to come. He bit his lips when you gave him your best wide doe eyes, and you swore he sped walk, feeling the vibration of a suppressed moan deep in his chest.

He brought you down on the bed, tenderly like a lover would on their first time. Your tired body succumbed to the comfort of the mattress and the warmth of the sheets. Hisoka lowered himself, pressing his body to yours and letting you feel his arousal hot in his trousers. Alarmed, you tried once more to move, but he brought his face close to your ear.

“Don’t worry, little one, we’ll be gentle….at least this time.” He bit your earlobe, kissing the spot to soothe the sting “Mmmm, but do forgive me if I just can’t help it~” he moaned slowly, grinding his hips into yours dragging the length up and down your thighs.

You whimpered and brought your hands up to his chest, pushing him as best as you could. He grinned and sat up, still hunched over you. Looking deep into your eyes, he took his shirt off, never cutting off the eye contact. Hisoka then took your hands, trying to push off his thighs and placed them on his chiseled chest, dragging them to touch him. He moaned obscenely, and you couldn’t help but blush at his well-built frame. Your hands felt the muscles contract and relax as your fingers, guided by him, gingerly touched every single spot. Hisoka bit his lower lip, looking down at you. You haven’t even noticed he had let go of your hands, and you were freely roaming, touching so softly his chest, his stomach...it made it all the more difficult to not take you right here.

He didn’t want to scare you; after all, this was the beginning of countless nights and days of pleasure to come. Your red nose, puffy eyes, and pouty lips made him hot. As your fingers grazed his nipple ever so softly, he bursted, throwing his head back and to moan loudly. You retracted your hand alarmed, and that’s when you noticed you had been almost lying down on top of Chrollo’s lap. The man’s fingers were tangled in your locks as he massages your head.

“Hisoka, you’re going to scare her away being so loud,” Illumi said from behind Hisoka. His face on leaning over his shoulder and his hands grabbing his hips. Hisoka’s hand came up to caress Illumi’s cheek, and he once more looked down at you through glazed and sensual eyes.

“Mmm, I just can’t help it. She’s so innocent...those eyes...It turns me on~” his hips jerked up quickly, grinding against you.

“Make her feel good first,” Illumi whispered in Hisoka’s ear, making eye contact with you, as he kissed the clown’s neck.

Hisoka crawled back, his hands softly running down your thighs. Chrollo unmade the knot holding your robe closed, and uncovered your body to them. You gasped, remembering you had just showered and had nothing but your dignity. The sight of your skin glowing under the dim moonlight coming from the window mixed with the reds and oranges from the crackling fire made their mouths water. Your squirming was pitiful at best, hands trying to grab the robe and close it, but Chrollo snatched your wrists pinning them down beside your head. He lowered his face closer to you and dive into your lips. His locks coming to the sides of his face and his soft lips molding against yours. For a moment, you forgot who these men were. Their sweet caresses here and there as Hisoka brought his face to nuzzle your stomach leaving kisses and marks wherever his lips touch. Chrollo took your alarmed gasp as an opportunity letting his tongue inside to explore. He groaned when you trying to escape him, lightly bumped into his arousal. He let your lips go, both of you breathing heavily.

He wanted more. "You are the greatest jewel I have ever stolen" he muttered his minty breath fanning over your abused lips.

Hisoka lowered all the way in between your legs, but you self-consciously closed them from him. He pouted like a kid who had seen his new toy but couldn't have it. Illumi pried them open, putting everything on display. Hisoka chuckled darkly, his hands rubbed your thighs and knees, and then they rested on the bed. Seeing your chance, you attempted to close them once more, but couldn’t. Looking up, you saw Hisoka smirking at you with a dark knowing look. He did it and now you could see the pink substance sticking your legs open to the bed.

“Bungee gum, love, has the capabilities of both gum and rubber.” His face came closer to your core, you could feel his excited breath, and it gave you goosebumps. He moaned bitting and kissing the inside of your thighs “I can’t wait to see your beautiful nen. The thought makes my pants so tight~” he licked his lips and dived into your entrance.

You moaned a bit overwhelmed at the sensation of his tongue, sucking and exploring inside without a care. The slurping sounds made you blush even harder. Still, you couldn’t deny the arousal building up, or the knot in your stomach tightening even more. At the same time, Chrollo and Illumi took it upon themselves to suck on your chest. Their teeth grazed your nipples, with the danger of biting down, and your back arched perfectly, allowing them more access to your perked nipples.

The pleasure was overriding all the red flags and alarms going off in your head, not too long ago. It was making you pliant, your heated body melting into their touches. You bucked your hips into Hisoka, and his hands came to rest on your hips, making you whine. He smiled, his tongue licking a slow and torturous strip up your slit ending on your clit. He latched on to your bud, eliciting a whine, brows furrowing at the electric feeling surging through your body.

Then something snapped inside you; you shut your eyes, letting out a loud moan, your body shaking as pleasure rolled all over your body. Faintly you heard Hisoka moaned equally loud, slurping all your liquids like he was starved. While still in your high, you didn’t notice Hisoka take off the rest of his clothes, his arousal standing proud. He crawled back on you, taking your knees and lodging himself between them.

Chrollo caressed your cheek, petting your hair. He lowered to give your forehead a tender kiss. “It’ll only hurt for a moment, (Y/N)”

Your eyes widened when you felt Hisoka’s length prodding at your entrance.

“W-wait,” you slurred, but he entered you gently, moaning at the warmth and slick coating him, beckoning him further into your depths.

You cried out as he went further inside until he was buried to the hilt. He keened in satisfaction, waiting a bit, and soaking up your walls’ sensation spasming around him.

“You’re so tight…so warm, mmm, it feels sooo good~” his hips started to slowly move.

Illumi, went behind Hisoka, kissing his neck and leaving marks all over. Meanwhile, Chrollo couldn’t have enough of your chest. Sucking and biting all he could, hands grabbing both your mounds and squeezing, decorating your skin in purples and reds. You mewled at all the sensations, eyes gleaming with unshed tears.

“Make her cum” Illumi whispered to Hisoka loud enough for you to hear. Hisoka grabbed your hips, speeding up, leaving you breathless, hips bucking, and meeting his thrusts.

“Mmmm, (Y/N)…I love that look in your eyes~” he moans thrusting even faster, your slick making it easier for him to slip in and out. Illumi went down where the two of you met and started to suck on your clit. You went crazy, the pleasure too much to contain it. “Arghh, she’s getting tighter…I can’t…” Hisoka moaned, burying himself deeper. One of his hands gripped your hip hard, surely to bruise, while the other held back Illumi’s hair as he sucked on you.

Suddenly the forming knot in your stomach tightened until hot white pleasure exploded through you. You squealed, liquids gushing around Hisoka, making his hips stutter, feeling your walls spams around him. He came, bursting inside you as your walls milked him for what his worth.

“Take it…Take it all~” Hisoka gasped, moaning breathlessly, his hips dragging out the orgasm.

Hisoka pulled out, making you mewl. The oversensitivity and tenderness were a bit too much. Through half-lidded eyes, you looked as Illumi took Hisoka’s spot, cleaning you up with his tongue. Chrollo stood and shed his coat on top of the vanity, his clothes joining the others on the floor. Illumi’s tongue swirled Hisoka’s cum and yours, lappin everything greedily, he then crawled on you kissing you roughly, making you taste the result of your joining. Your lips separated, leaving a strand of saliva connecting your mouths. With aggressive desperation he hugged you, pulling you flushed against his naked chest feeling how heated you'vemade him. Then you felt yourself being flipped over, Illumi under you.

Alarmed, you moved a bit, but Chrollo grabbed your hips, stilling you. He crawled over you, pulling your robe off of you and kissing your shoulder gently, his hands went softly down your spine giving you shivers. Illumi kissed and bit your neck, making you whimper as you felt his length prodding your entrance.

“It’ll be alright, just enjoy it,” He whispered, his monotone voice breathless as he guided himself into your slit. You mewled at the feeling, and he quietly gasped at your warmth.

Your eyes looked into his deathly ones, watching them swirl with different emotions. Yet, the main one being lust and adoration. His black hair fanning behind him gave him a mystical and beautiful look, he looked majestic, like some forest elf of sorts. You bit your lip holding back the moan. That’s when you felt a bite on your left butt cheek.

“Sorry, you look good enough to eat~” Hisoka drawled, and then you felt a finger prod your forbidden hole. You squealed, trying to writhe away, but it only made Illumi hiss in pleasure and grab your hips hard.

“Don’t tease me, (Y/N),” he groaned into your ear, biting down on your shoulder to muffle his moan, as your walls flustered around him.

“N-no, p-please. Not there,” you cried out, the feeling of his finger weird and alien to you.

“It’ll be alright, (Y/N)-Chan, we only want to make you feel good~.”

Hisoka was in front of you, lowering to your eye level, his yellow eyes lidded as he licked his lips and went in for a fevered kiss.

Illumi looking at the two of you kiss so wantonly, started moving his hips gently, biting his own lips at the display. Chrollo added another finger preparing you for him, the scissoring giving you chills. Yet, as Hisoka kissed you tasting himself in your tongue and lips, he distracted you from the prodding. He separated, panting heavily watching as some drool came down the corner of your lip.

He enjoyed your fucked out state.

Without warning, Chrollo entered the tip. It made your eyes widen to feel the burning sensation contrasting your skin with the coldness of fear. You gave a muffled screech, your walls closing on Illumi and making him unable to hold back the groan.

Chrollo slowly pushed inside until he was buried deep. He inhaled shakily, feeling you tighten around his intruding length. The feeling made him groan lowly.

Tears came rolling down your cheeks, you had never felt so full. In one night, the entirety of your virginity was lost.

Hisoka watched as the two men he liked the most, made sweet slow love to you, pulling adorable noises from your swollen and abused lips. He couldn’t help bit his own lip, looking at how they ruined you for the better. He loved the scene.

Chrollo dragged you away from Illumi. His face resting in the crook of your neck as Illumi’s hand grabbed your jiggling mounds, squeezing them and marveling at how they fit perfectly in his hands. You were made for them and only for them. Your body hasn’t known pleasure before, and you had clearly neglected yourself, you needed them as much as they craved you.

Hisoka came close to where you and Illumi met, his tongue coming out to lick his lips as his fingers came to rub on your hooded pearl, holding back the whine of pleasure. Everything was becoming too much. You convulsed a bit, the pleasure overwhelming you.

“She’s getting tighter,” Chrollo grunted, speeding his thrusts.

“Mmm, are you close, (Y/N)-Chan, hmm?” Hisoka got close to your face, his lips close to yours, teasing, “Are you going to cum on Illumi, like a good girl~? Milk them both for all they’re worth~?”

He kissed you, rubbing harder and faster, and you moaned into the kiss. He slipped his tongue in and sucked on yours, still tasting his arousal’s tanginess on you. That was the moment you became undone, your liquids squirting around Illumi. Both men thrust faster, almost competing with each other until Illumi came inside you, ropes of cum filling you up until he deemed it was enough.

Chrollo moaned lowly, biting your neck to muffle it as his cum shot into you, filling you on the other side.

Hisoka bit your lip and separated for air. Your eyes were almost closing, body shaking with the aftershocks of pleasure still rolling up and down your body. Chrollo pulled out, his cum dripping down the back of your thighs, making him lick his lips in satisfaction. Illumi pulled you abruptly towards him, making you land on his chest. Hisoka was surprised and annoyed that he couldn’t watch your tongue lolled out, and your lidded eyes look at him.

Illumi grab your face with both hands and brought you in for a passion-filled kiss. It was aggressive and possessive the way his lips pressed into yours until you both couldn’t breathe. He let you go, pulling out and laying you down on your side. Your body was tired, filled to the brim, marked, and pounded to their heart’s delight. Chrollo pulled a blanket over you as your eyes finally closed in exhaustion.

“Mmm, that was delightful. Our little fruit might not be as innocent as we thought~” Hisoka sat by you, caressing your cheek as you sleep.

“We should move her in the morning. She shouldn’t stay alone in the woods.” Illumi sat at the other side of the bed, calling out to the black fluff, making his way into the room.

“We shouldn’t forsake this place. It could be useful when we need a place to get away for some time” Chrollo put on his pants and dressed in his coat, leaving the shirt of out the equation as he leaned against the vanity.

“Mmm, vacations here with our darling pet should be divine~” Hisoka kissed you, making you snuggle cutely into your blanket. He warmly smiled at you. “Danchou, let’s keep her here. She doesn’t exist in the world, and our line of work is not the safest. She’s still hasn’t shown us her nen, but I’m afraid she’s not as developed as we are. She’s not ripe yet.”

“Hisoka is right. Bringing her with us will only endanger her. Illumi, can you persuade her to stay?”

Illumi sighed, going to his clothes and pulling out a single needle. He went to Hisoka’s side, his eyes looking down at you with warmth. He sat by your head, almost on Hisoka’s lap, the clown giving a suggestive buckle against Illumi’s back, making him annoyed.

Illumi caressed your face, pulling your locks away from your forehead.

“She won’t be able to leave the forest, without us or our consent. She’ll stay here as she has but will always expect us. The moment her mind thinks of leaving, she will have the most painful headache. The more she fights it, the worse it’ll get until she stops.”

Illumi then pulled you to face him. Your close eyes made you look so calm and sweet, and your puffy lips called out to him. He then pressed the tip of the nen infused needle to the middle of your forehead and pushed it in. You whimpered in your sleep, brows furrowing in pain and discomfort as the needle lodged inside your cranium. Then as quickly as the sting had come, it went away, leaving you blissfully unaware.

The three men then showered in your bathroom and slept all around you smothering with their heat until morning came. Arms clutching you possessively as if the minute they let go, you would fade away.

You woke up with a start. Heavily panting and looking around to see if you were alone. Maybe everything was a bad wet dream, and they hadn’t found you yet. Your first thought was to leave this place that you had constructed and built with sweat and tears. It pained you, but having them found you, was too much of a risk. So you turned, placing your feet on the floor and wincing at your lower region’s discomfort, in all the lower part of your body. You whimpered but made your way to the mirror on your vanity.

The sight almost made you scream.

Deep red and purple marks were littered all over your neck and chest. You brought your hand to cover your mouth as tears rolled down your cheeks. You looked down to see bite marks and bruises all over your stomach, hips, and thighs. You took your robe from the floor and put it on tightening the knot with shaky hands. You opened your bedroom door and quietly walked to the living room.

The embers of last night’s fire were still slightly lit; the windows were opened, letting in the fall breeze. But the place was empty, no well built handsome devils were in sight.

You sighed in relief. At least you were alone was once more, and they may never come back.

That’s when the front door opened, making you jump startled. You stayed in place watching as Hisoka came in carrying a hay woven basket with eggs, he took off his heels at the door placing them beside your shoes and looked up at your still form.

“Good morning, (Y/N)-Chan~” he brightly smiled at you, eyes closed in joy as he made his way to you. You didn’t move, baffled by what was going on. Hisoka placed a kiss on top of your head and went into the kitchen.

As soon as he left your space, Illumi came through the door, carrying your black cat in one arm and a bucket with water in his hand. He did the same as Hisoka putting his shoes beside his and the bucket near the kitchen. The black fluff jumped down his arms and trotted joyfully towards your legs, Illumi followed suit. He took your hand, kissing your forehead and bringing you into the kitchen. He pushed you gently to sit on the dining chair, and you winced a bit at the discomfort and slight pain.

Everything was tender.

“I’ll run you a warm bath,” his monotone voice and void swirling eyes gave you shivers, but his intentions were sweet. You nodded, still unsure of this picture, and he left you.

“I’ll make us some breakfast; you need to be strong if we want to have more fun~” Hisoka winked suggestively, and you hugged yourself unconsciously. “Now, now don’t be like that, darling.” he came closer with a spatula in hand, his big strong arms coming to cage you between the chair and him.

“I know you enjoyed it~” he gave you a peck on the lips and went back to cooking.

You looked at the door expecting Chrollo to join this weird play/reality show, but he didn’t come in. Curiosity got the better of you.

“Where’s...”

“Danchou? Hmm, he was busy and had to leave, but he left us to take care of you~”

“Is he...coming back?” You asked shyly, hating how you already missed the man or the fact that this domestic scene made you feel peaceful and right.

“Huh?” Hisoka looked at you, your shy demeanor let him know all you were thinking. He beamed with glee, you were already theirs. “He’ll be back tonight, maybe he’ll bring desserts~”

You hummed in response. Your eyes looked at the door, and a scheme came to mind. With Hisoka distracted and Illumi away, you could run. Run fast and not look back.

Your hands gripped the edge of the chair, and you almost took impulse to stand and go. Hisoka side-eyed you, his yellow eyes beaming with joy. You were such a fighter, he just wanted to ravish you now. The thought of you wanting to run made his pants tight.

“Do try it~” he said casually not even looking at you “I want to see how far you’ll get”

At that moment, Illumi came back, and you looked like a kid caught with her hand in the cookie jar. He knew what you wanted to do, your intentions were clear in your eyes. It pained him a bit, but he knew you were acclimating still. He had to be patient.

You stood, and both men got ready. The tension could be cut with a knife. You looked at Illumi and went to him, seeming a bit defeated. He slightly let out a sigh in relief as he grabbed your hand and guided you into the hallway.

“Good girl,” Illumi said, pulling you inside the bathroom and closing the door behind him, snapping the lock to seal your fate.

915 notes · View notes

stuff-from-the-void-matron · 4 years

Text

Laurel Wreaths & Animal Teeth (4)

(c!Technoblade x fem!Reader)

(people seem to like this for now but remember, no reblogs/comments then i’m gonna assume people lost interest. so show u enjoy this please!! <3 also someone drew fanart of Reader, check it out at the bottom! :3c)

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“Come ON Wilbur! Come with me to check out the huge village I found the other week!” shouted Tommy while making sure to get in his older brother’s way as much as possible. He figured if Wilbur was focused on him and not whatever ‘super important’ shit he was busy with then he’d join him.

Wilbur meanwhile was doing everything he could to sidestep and ignore said younger brother. Now usually he’d humor the much younger boy but Wilbur was sorta busy at the moment. There’s been murmurs of unrest within the L’manburg territory lately since new faces have joined their country.

Apparently they weren’t happy about the fact that Wilbur was a self appointed president, and likened him to a dictator because of it since no one got a say in his leadership role. Which Wilbur thought was highly unfair. He’d fought tooth and nail for his country, so they could have and enjoy all the freedoms to do as they pleased without Dream and his cronies breathing down their necks.

Everything he did he did for his country. But he didn’t want them to see him as some unsympathetic tyrant who didn’t listen to his people. He’s not Dream, he actually listens when they speak, even when they say they don’t like his self appointed role as president. So yes, Wilbur was sort of busy with more important things than goofing off and finding some random village. But instead of snapping he just sighed and said,

“Tommy, I’m working. We’re supposed to be running a country, remember?”

The aforementioned boy let out an aggravated sigh, he knows they have a duty to L’Manburg, he’s not stupid! But he also knows they need to be allowed to have some fun now and again too! Or they’ll go crazy! And Tommy was sure Wilbur would go mad if he stayed cooped up inside all the time working! So this was his way of dragging his brother out for his own good.

But Wilbur was being especially stubborn (wonder where Tommy got it…) and was refusing to budge.

“I don’t have time right now Tommy! Ask Tubbo or Fundy to tag along. I’m sure they’d love to go vandalize a village with you,” Wilbur distractedly said as he wrote down some notes in one of his books.

Tommy was tired of fighting Wilbur on this and decided to hell with it, he’d just take the L this time. So he scoffed and said “Whatever” in the most pissed off teen voice he could physically summon and turned away from Wilbur and stormed out of the brunet president’s house, making sure to slam the wooden door as hard as he could on his way out.

It seemed like all Wilbur did was mope around and WORK since they’d won independence from the Dream SMP. What the hell was the point of even FIGHTING for said freedom if Wilbur wasn’t even going to enjoy it??

Tommy pushed those thoughts away and went to search out Tubbo, he could always count on his best friend to follow him into some mischief! Unlike SOME people. And thankfully it didn’t take the rambunctious blond long to find his friend, and with a grin he ran and jumped on the shorter boy, making him yelp in shock and nearly fall. But then Tubbo saw who it was and started laughing and shoving the taller boy away half heartedly. But after goofing around a bit Tommy remembers why he’d searched out Tubbo in the first place.

“Oi Tubbo, come with me to this weird village I found the other week. I was gonna explore it when I found it but Wilbur said there was an emergency and I had to leave before I could,” he said as they both walked along the main path.

“Yeah sure, but why was it ‘weird’? Was it one of those ones that’s built somewhere stupid like half on a cliff?” Tubbo asked with a laugh.

The two laughed and Tommy explained that the village just looked different? Like there was no cobble! Which was ridiculous because in his opinion that was the best part of villages was all the cobble buildings. Not that he was biased or anything like an American.

But Tubbo just laughed and said sure, they could go check it out. He didn’t have anything else important to do today anyways. Tommy gave a triumphant ‘yeah!!’ because at least he got ONE of his friends to not be a total loser and go out to have some good old fashioned fun with him.

Tubbo told him to lead the way so they were off.

-0-

Many blocks away in your village you were getting out of your ‘shower’, which was really just a waterfall hidden by thick trees and hanging vines behind your temple home. But it was the best shower you’d ever used thanks to how the water fell over you in huge sheets. You’d honestly stay in it for hours if you didn’t hate being bored just standing there. But you did get bored, so you got out and began drying off.

Once you were dry you started getting dressed in your usual outfit, then once done you paused before reaching down to grab the newest item of your outfit..

Your mask.

...

After your… horn discovery the week before you’d just laid in bed all day for a couple days. Not leaving your temple for any reason, not even to shower or eat. You’d have been feeling worse if you’d actually needed food but thankfully you didn’t, so when you finally got your ass in gear and got up to bathe you only felt marginally like shit. At least you had until you went to go bathe…...

But on that first day up you’d just stared at yourself in the reflection of the water and sighed. You didn’t have the urge to cry anymore, so that was a good thing. But you also weren’t a fan of the new horns or glowing eyes you’d had since ending up here. You weren’t even sure what KIND of horns these were?? And… call you crazy but you SWEAR they were bigger than they were before your stint laying in bed..

They’d only been little nubs before, not even as big as your thumb! But now they were at least five inches long and sort of splitting at the tips? It looked weird and honestly felt even weirder what with that velvety texture covering them. You made the foolish mistake of grumbling to yourself,

“Things couldn’t get weirder, right?”

And as if the universe heard you… you discovered a new ‘appendage’ on your body while you started to wash your body off. You’d been lost in thought, just scrubbing yourself with a soapy washcloth when you’d started reaching around to wash your back, your washcloth brushed against something protruding from the base of your spine, right above your ass. This time you didn’t start panicking, you think you were still worn out from the days previous, so instead of freaking out you just slowly craned your neck around to see if you could glimpse the...thing.

A tail.

You blinked, shocked but also.. confused? What in the absolute fuck? Why? When?? This time there was no sobbing or breakdown, you were honestly just puzzled. Are you ever going to STOP growing animal traits or what? Under any other circumstances you might even call the tail cute. It was small, probably just smaller than your hand and about the same shape too. And the majority of the top of it was the same color as your hair, but the sides (and underside after you got curious enough to look under it) were a soft white. With how you were in water the tail looked rather unimpressive and you couldn’t identify what kind of tail it was, but if it was at all connected to the horns then maybe deer? Or caribou? Reindeer? The last two seemed more likely since those animals’ females actually grew antlers you think.

Having to adjust to all this new shit practically every other day was giving you a headache. With a tired sigh you rubbed the area around the base of your antlers, soothed slightly by how the action dulled your headache. But you couldn’t ignore the issue at hand, so you swallowed down your unease and instead just decided since you couldn’t control these… unnatural features then.. well, you’d just cover them up or since that wasn’t possible for the horns now you’d just disguise them?

You’d been stumped for a while on how to even DO that but eventually you’d gone down to the village to feed the animals and you’d watched the armorer leave his house to get started working for the day. And you’d noticed the mask he wore pushed up on his forehead. That’s when the idea for a mask hit you. But you didn’t know how to make or even craft a mask, so you’d gone to the armorer and asked him about it. It was hard to grasp what he was saying clearly but after the months living with the villagers you’d picked up some stuff and could understand them some.

So you let him show you how to make a standard iron mask like his, though the first one he’d made hadn’t fit you in the end so he’d made a second after tweaking the size a bit so it’d fit your face right, since your face shapes weren’t the same. But you were thankful and said so after you put it on. Though the eye holes still revealed your eyes, which you didn’t like. You asked how hard it would be to put reflective lenses in them to prevent your eyes from being seen.

That question turned into the armorer calling over the cartographer, the stonemason, and the shepherd oddly enough to help him out. They were murmuring and crowding around the armorer’s workstation while you watched from the edge of the porch where you sat idly. You didn’t want to hover over them like some busybody, so you sat patiently to see what they came up with together.

And after a while your patience was rewarded when they came over to show you the fruit of their collaboration. And it surprised you how gorgeous it was, which wasn’t fair since you had 4 skill masters working on it together for you.

The mask was actually very beautiful.

It was a white half mask that only covered your eyes, forehead, and upper nose/cheeks but left the lower half of your face bare. And you think it was simply painted white because it felt about as heavy as iron, but the part that amazed you was how it almost looked Venetian in design. On the forehead of the mask was a golden sun, and golden floral swirls came from the corners of the mask and curled near the cheeks and sides of the sun on the forehead, making the mask look elegant and almost vintage.

But the best parts in your opinion were the glass lenses in the eye holes. They were reflective and the same colors as your banner! You don’t know how the villagers did it but the edges of the lens were a goldish orange and the color faded into a violet in the center. You worried you wouldn’t be able to see through them but when you put the mask on you realized the lens only gave things a VERY slight blue/grey tint. So slight in fact that you could fully ignore it if you wanted.

And the second best part was some of the floral swirls actually swirled UP past the top edge of the mask and rested against your horns, giving the illusion that they were somehow part of the mask. Actually with the mask on you could almost trick yourself into thinking you were just wearing a cool looking Mardi Gras mask!

You clapped your hands in glee and couldn’t help the excited sound you let out as you gushed and told them it was perfect! They all let out bashful happy murmurs and generally looked shyly pleased with your praise. You tried to give them each some emeralds but they refused to take them, grunting and shaking their heads each time you attempted to push the gems towards them. Eventually you gave up and resigned to accepting the mask as a gift, but you’d definitely do something nice for them later, to make up for their hard work.

…

You’d taken to wearing the mask at all times when not in the privacy of your temple. Which wasn’t very hard to get accustomed to. The mask was lightweight and the lenses honestly helped shield your eyes from the glare of the sun so win/win. And it also made your horns, in your opinion at least, less in your face. Which was good because they were definitely still growing. You could tell. And the split in the tip was now more pronounced, making you wonder if they were like… reindeer antlers? It would fit with the tail currently growing out the base of your spine, said tail that now looked REALLY like a fluffy little deer tail since the hair/fur on it had dried.

One good thing was that your tail wasn’t long or huge and could actually be hidden relatively easily under a shawl you tied around your waist. So that was one less thing to worry about. Though your life would infinitely be easier if you didn’t have to deal with all this inhuman bullshit. But you supposed life wasn’t fair and expecting it to be was foolish.

“At least I’m not part some weird animal like an aardvark or something…” you mumble to yourself, trying to view this whole thing in a ‘glass half full’ sort of way.

You’d decided to relax and unwind from your recent discovery by just taking things easy for a while. First day since you got the mask and such you just chilled and started a small farm for yourself. You didn’t need the food but the process of building the farm and toiling the earth and then sowing the seeds was actually pretty therapeutic. The repetition of it all was pretty calming. Just you, your gardening tools, and the earth beneath your feet.

The days following were pretty much the same. You’d tend your garden first thing in the morning after your shower, then you’d go off to find something else easy to fill your time. You took up feeding the animals, making flower boxes and planters around the town to make it more colorful, potion brewing, and even fishing. Which was what you were doing right now actually.

You were sitting on the edge of the pond next to your temple, bare legs in the cool water and your back resting against the side of another grass block, an enchanted fishing rod you’d traded the town fisherman for sitting stuck in the ground next to you while you relaxed. The day was actually quite beautiful and nice. Sun streamed down over you from between the bamboo behind you, fluffy fat bees buzzed overhead as they hunted lazily for pollen, and you were close to dozing off.

“Hnn! Hnn! Hnnn!!”

At least you would have dozed off if you hadn’t heard one of the villagers sorta freaking out. You looked up and saw one of the farmers panickedly shuffling about at the top of the small hill to your left. You wondered if zombies got into the village again? But no it was sunny out, they’d be burning if they did. Illagers maybe? But how would they have gotten around the bamboo and prickly berry bushes?? Well there wasn’t anything else for you to do than do see what was wrong.

You put away your fishing rod, got up and dusted yourself off before hurrying up the hill after the villager. You trailed after them down the lantern lit path but so far didn’t see anything, but you perked up when you heard telltale sounds of one of the iron golems fighting something and taking damage. That put some urgency in your gait and soon you were running to see what was going on. You rush past the fletcher’s home and then the cartographer’s right after but nothing. Then you finally round the corner where the market is set up and see at the very end of the path next to the cleric’s church is the altercation.

You sprint down the path, yelling for the villager’s to stay inside until you ring the town bell as you run past them. You hear the doors slam closed behind you and you manage to get to the problem right as your iron golem gives one last cry before getting poofed. You gasp sadly and then glare when you hear cheering. A blond boy that was shorter than you hopped down from a dirt block tower and scooped up the fallen iron ingots the poor iron golem dropped upon its death.

You were so pissed that you ignored the nagging feeling in the back of your focus that said this kid looked familiar. It wasn’t until he finally turned to look at you that it hit you. Holy shit this kid looked… and sounded.. like that minecraft youtuber, TommyInnit.. Like eerily so. You’re glad you’re wearing your mask so he can’t see the deer in headlights (*ba-dun-ts*) look on your face at the sight of him. And your shock didn’t fade with him speaking. If anything it reinforced the idea that this kid was weirdly reminiscent of that youtuber.

“Holy fuck! You are a MASSIVE woman. Wait, who the fuck are you?!” he said in a loud tone of voice as he looked up at you. It made your eyebrows furrow. You were NOT that big! He was just short! You even crossed your arms and told him so, which earned a snicker from the little brown haired boy in dark green overalls next to him. The blond boy scoffed, looked fully offended, snarked back that you were about the same height as a ‘bloody fuckin’ iron golem!’ so yes you were huge.

You glared at the little TommyInnit look alike and instead of arguing about your height you started scolding both boys, which they hadn’t really.. expected? At least from the surprised looks on their faces (which still had the roundness that came from baby fat). The brunet rubbed his elbow and sort of toed the dirt under his feet while the blond crossed his arms and almost looked to be pouting from the scolding.

“My height isn’t the issue here! The issue is you two barging into my village, killing one of my iron golems, stealing the loot from it, and scaring my poor villagers!! What in the hell were you two thinking?”

The blond tried to cut in, to defend himself but he barely got out the first syllable before you held up your hand to signal for him to silence himself as you snapped,

“I do NOT wanna hear it! You treat others this way?? Like they’re nothing, like their possessions and peace of mind don’t mean a damn thing?! Shame on you both!!”

By the end the two boys looked properly scolded. The brunet wondered if THIS is what it felt like to get scolded by one’s mother, and if it was then he’d like to avoid it for the remainder of his life. And the blond meanwhile actually didn’t have anything to say, or more accurately he didn’t know what to say to not feel like he was in massive trouble.

You meanwhile were just annoyed at this point, so you held you hand out (causing both boys to give you wondering looks) before you demanded the iron ingots that the blond stole from your slain iron golem. He got all in a huff, saying he earned them and they were just ingots- but you slapped that train of thought down with an angry,

“EARNED?? More like STOLE! After you killed my iron golem! Now give them back! I have to use them to make a new golem to protect this village.”

The blond sputtered, face blooming red at being blatantly called out on his theft, before muttering in embarrassment and pulling the ingots out and practically tossing them at you. You caught them and returned them to your inventory before shaking your head at the two and saying they should leave if their only goal in your village was to kill and destroy property. The small brunet quickly spoke up and said,

“No wait, we didn’t come just to mess stuff up! We came cuz Tommy said he found this place last week and it wasn’t the usual village so we wanted to explore it.”

Your stomach churned at the name.. Tommy. This was getting weird again. Way too fucking weird. But you resisted clenching your teeth anxiously like you wanted, instead you raised an eyebrow they couldn’t see and shot back,

“Oh yeah? And how did that escalate into killing my iron golem?”

This time it was ‘Tommy’ who cut in and said it had been an accident! They’d apparently been looking around when Tubbo (you felt queasy now after hearing that name too…) started fighting a spider and Tommy came over to help him, but in the process he accidentally hit the iron golem, who got pissed and smacked him.

“I ran from the thing and towered up three blocks! I knew it wouldn’t let up so I had to kill it! S’not my fault the bastard was holding a grudge!!” Tommy said heatedly, arms still crossed defiantly.

You wanted to rub your temples in exasperation but couldn’t without removing your mask. And like hell you were showing these kids your weirdo inhuman eyes. Though… if they really were the characters from.. the videos you got hooked on? Honestly this whole thing was 10 times weirder than the stupid glowy eyes or even the horns or tail.. Like this has to be proof you’re really dreaming or in a coma or something. What other logical explanation could there BE? These kids aren’t real. Nothing here is. It CAN’T be. The real people behind these… minecraft characters? They’re not here. In this place.

Before you could do a kickflip off the edge of your sanity into a full on mental breakdown you took in a calming breath and pushed those thoughts away until you were alone to give it the proper attention. And maybe so you could have your panic attack in peace and quiet. But right now you had two kids causing ruckus in your village. So you just said,

“Yeah alright, fine. I’ll forgive you both THIS TIME. But don’t make a habit of causing trouble in my village. And you can look around and explore, just don’t steal anything or hurt any of my villagers or animals. Got it?”

The two boys nodded, happy to not have you giving them that Angry Adult Tone anymore. So you turned and started walking back to the middle of the village, calling for them to come on. You had to ring the village center bell to tell everyone everything was okay.

Both boys shared a glance before Tubbo smiled and started jogging after you, Tommy right behind him, both curious about you and your village.

------------

(a/n: YOOO SOMEONE DREW READER FANART AND IT’S FUCKING BOMB DUDES CHECK IT OUT!! (Reader looking heavenly~) uwu)

@salinesoot @lady-bee-fechin @kacchasu @putridjoy @lunawritesstories @galaxypankitty3030 @paradigmax @zachariethememerie @killmewithafanfic @trinity-1002107 @hufflepuff-demigod @truthdaze @exorcisms-with-elmo @redbloodtea @heythereimhaylz @olyink @jackalopedoodles @nikkineeky @artsimatsu

#technoblade x reader #technoblade #c!techno #dream smp #dsmp #mcyt x reader #c!tommy #c!tubbo #c!wilbur

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bbhyeoliskooks · 4 years

Note

Can I request an angst where Yeonjun breaks up with you but then wants you back a few weeks later?

«❝ 𝐈'𝐥𝐥 𝐍𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐖𝐚𝐲 𝐀𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧 ❞»

Yeonjun was the one to break up with you, so why does he want you back now?

➸ check part two out here !

«────« ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

Pairing: Yeonjun x Reader (female)

Genre: 5 cups of angst and maybe 2 cups of fluff ?

Warnings: harassment, alcohol consumption, cussing, yeonjun is a big jerk in this :ccc, cliffhanger ending, not edited so if i make a mistake... oopsies

Song: I’ll Never Love This Way Again

(I wasn’t sure if I could do a happy ending, but you just have to find that outtt 😌😌~~ i’m so sorry that it came so late too ! i just didn’t expect there’d be tons of assignments this week??? anyway, if you want me to make a part two, of course i can ! requests are always open 🥺💓)

«──── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

Everything was fine.

When Choi Yeonjun made the first move under your favorite spot in the whole world during the time both of you were stargazing, you felt his smile brush up against your lips as you kissed him to your heart’s content. Finally, the boy of your dreams was yours. You hadn’t thought this would be coming for a long time, but you were so happy it turned out this way instead of a permanent, platonic friendship- one that was simply excruciating whenever you saw him and his adorable, fluffy cheeks. Warm infatuation flowed through your veins making you kiss him deeper, allowing him to be in your arm’s embrace while your heart swelled in joy. This was love.

You knew deep in your heart that everything was fine and was going to be fine, for that matter.

Said boy gently cupped your cheek, and you melted into his touch under the glistening, white moonlight. He was so warm, you never wanted to lose that even if you gave up the entire universe to be with him.

He was happy.

Butterflies fluttered in your stomach while you fondly gazed at his pure, bright smile, not being able to look away from his brown eyes which captivated you every single moment of the day. In a crowd of people, you were sure he’d be the one person you’d look at, and not to mention the only one. He was for you, and you were for him. He loved you, and you loved him. What difference was it going to make if you made it official?

And so you were too.

“I love you, Y/N,” he murmured so softly he wondered if you actually heard it.

You had.

“I love you too, Yeonjun.”

Everything was fine.

Up until now.

Call you cheesy or anything else, but all you wanted to do for the day was drop some food off at your boyfriend’s house before going out to a few of your classes. Your boyfriend of eight months, actually. You doubted that anybody else numbered their months as an anniversary, but who was counting? It had been a while since you seen each other due to studies and exams, so you assumed that this would be the perfect time to visit him for a couple minutes while he’s having troubles on a few assignments. Easily, a couple minutes could turn into hours and you’d find yourself missing class unintentionally.

Although at the same time, spending time with your boyfriend was the best! And he’s made you smile so much these past months that you were really starting to understand why you loved him so much. Those sparkling eyes which held all the starts from the Milky Way Galaxy in them, those sweet lips which never failed to calm you down whenever your patience wore thin, and that sweet heart that protected you from all evil in the world. Point is, he was the perfect boyfriend and there wasn’t even once a time where he would hurt you! After all, you knew that he loved you so much as well. He promised he would always be right beside you, and the Choi Yeonjun never ever goes back on his promises.

Entering the house with the spare key he gave you for emergencies, you hesitated for a few seconds when you heard his voice ripple throughout the silent kitchen. Was this right? It wasn’t an emergency, but what if Yeonjun was really hungry and needed you? You could picture his pouty lips whine whenever you asked him if he wanted something to eat, and the imaginary sight made you grin with delight. Still, you were unsure if you could just budge in without his permission. Like the loving boy he is, he assured you every time that it was okay, managing to convince you in the near future which was technically now that he adored in whenever you planned a surprise visit for him.

You shut the door softly, enough for it not to create any sounds that could signal you arrived. Knowing how much Yeonjun loved when you came over by the way he kept encouraging you to come over whenever you had free time, you made sure not to make any sound in order to be the sunshine in his day. It could too much for other people, but hey! Seeing him happy because of you made the pride in your chest grow, like you were on top of the world. Just a simple visit would do, right?

“Yeah Bin, I just think they’re really clingy, don’t you agree?”

His velvety voice caused you to stand still in your spot, paralyzed as your mind was reeling with a variety of thoughts. Your excitement instantly burned down in flames, your curiosity growing as you slowly inched around the familiar kitchen. Luckily you weren’t noticed, albeit that was good since you didn’t have the desire to be seen anyway. Who was he talking about? Could it be someone you know?

“Nowadays, I don’t see them as much, and I’m so happy I don’t. Like, who would want to come home to that thing? If we lived together, I sure as hell know that I wouldn’t be able to stand a minute with them, if not much more than a second.”

The pounding in your chest grew faster with every single second that passed, for if he caught you, you knew that he would be extremely disappointed. As a couple, it was important to trust each other, and especially when one of them needed their privacy. But the wonder of who it was was far stronger, overpowering the fear of being caught. Yeonjun would definitely hate you for this if he ever found out, but that didn’t mean he had to know. You felt like you were doing something by listening to him, an impending feeling in your gut which only signaled trouble.

“I think I’m getting tired of them. All they do is wear my clothes when they know they have their own and cry to me about their problems every single night. They’re always like this and that, making you do things that you don’t want to do. It’s really annoying, you don’t understand,” he added as he ran his fingers through his hair.

Your heart sunk to the ground, shattering into a million yet heavy pieces once you registered who they were talking about.

It was you.

Yeonjun chuckled at your newfound misery, not acknowledging you were there as he traced his finger over the marble counter. “And don’t you try to defend them, Soobin. I know you guys are good friends, but if you dated them then you would really know how stupid they are. To be honest, their problems turn out that way just because they’re such an idiot. Who knew I would be stuck with a dimwit like them?!”

He burst into laughter, but you heard nothing from the other line. Internally, you thanked Soobin for not finding humor out of the situation, but there was a bitter taste in your mouth as you heard him tell more and more about what he hated about you.

Was it that easy to say?

Too tired to hear the rest, you gently shut the door, leaving as soon as he made another joke about your affection. The bag of food clanked against the porch loudly, causing the shutter of the windows to flicker inside the house but you didn’t care anymore if he came out to see you like this. He said you were pathetic, and that’s what you are. If you can’t even do one thing, then why even try due to the fact that you aren’t good enough for him? Your eyes were betraying your will now, welling up with tears of disappointment in yourself. You should’ve known, you should’ve known! Look what happens when you depend on people too much, this is all your fault!

You went home like a fool with your stunned voice not permitting you to say anything about what you heard from him. Maybe if you just endured it a bit more, he would come to realize that you were only doing what you did since you loved him with all your heart. This couldn’t be your boyfriend, perhaps he was stressed with all of the exams they’re giving. This wasn’t him, it just couldn’t! How could he say all of that?

He was for you, and you were for him. He loved you, and you loved him. That was that.

Certainly everything was going to be okay... right?

«────« ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

Just like Yeonjun wanted, you did everything in your power to make sure that he was comfortable with his own space. You placed the stolen clothes you loved to wear whenever you missed him during the time you knew he wasn’t home because of dragged out classes. You didn’t text or call him as much, knowing that he would probably get annoyed if you bothered him too many times to count on both hands. You didn’t plan surprise visits anymore when you had the time, choosing to coop yourself in your bedroom as you waited for him to say something- to say anything.

Maybe he would actually come talk to you, right? It’s been almost three weeks since you’ve seen each other. Maybe he would notice the missing piece in his life which was you, right? He always told you he adored whenever you called him your soulmate, as cheesy as it is. Maybe he would at least explain why he’s being like this, right? He strove to do the right things in your relationship even if it cost him his pride. It was because he loved you.

That’s what you thought.

He didn’t, and you were left shattered in pieces. Disappointment clouded your heart as you thought well of him, the hope in your chest gradually becoming less and less each day for the time the two of you did not speak. Instantaneously, you felt terrible about yourself, understanding why he thought of you to be so clingy that it was almost suffocating.

All the while, that ended up with the two of you getting even more further apart.

You hated it, but what hurt the most was that you weren’t sure if he cared about you anymore.

«────« ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

“Hey babe, can we talk today? I need to tell you something, so meet me up at Moonlight.”

When Yeonjun asked you to meet up with him at your favorite spot, the one you both deemed to be your place, you were absolutely thrilled to see him. It was nearing four weeks since you haven’t seen each other which was quite surprising to you; you never knew how well you could hold up without him in the first place. Moonlight was the code name for the place you both ended up confessing to each other since it was incredibly vivid in your hazy memory. You couldn’t help but remember Yeonjun’s bright smile directed towards you when you mentioned the name.

Jittery, you made sure to put on the perfume he gifted you on your first month anniversary, spraying it just enough so that it wouldn’t overwhelm him. It was no wonder that you wanted to look your best for him, for perhaps he would finally tell you that he loved you again! You’ve been waiting for that day since forever, patience becoming frayed from the anticipation that consumed you every single day.

Your nerves were practically a scrambling mess as you walked yourself there, hoping that everything with Yeonjun was doing well. Gosh, you missed his fluffy cheeks so much and his cuddles you swore you were going to go crazy. His scent was no longer on your pillows and you had to admit that you really missed it. But really, this was a good sign! You knew that everything was going to be fine, just fine. He was going to be right by your side, right by your side where he would stay but why was this gut feeling in your fluttering stomach trying to convince you differently?

When you arrived there, heart thumping as you watched his head peek up instead of staring at the ground, you suddenly felt your eyes gather up with tears. It was pathetic to cry in front of him, but you missed him so much that just seeing him made your whole world feel complete. As always, he looked perfect when his eyes found yours, looking you up and down and staring to see if you’ve changed one bit.

You waved at him shyly, words becoming stuck in your throat as you took in his beauty that never failed to amaze you. A smile struck your lips, stepping towards him with bravery even if you were scared you were doing something wrong. He wasn’t smiling like usual, so maybe something happened in his personal life? You wanted to be there for him through times like these. However, all you had to do now was hope for the best once he spoke up.

“Y/N, I...”

His voice faltered when he stared at your gentle expression, unable to find the courage in what he was going to say.

How was he going to break it to you?

“Yeonjun,” you stated simply, raising an eyebrow at why he was so vulnerable all of a sudden. His breath became heavy when you mentioned his name but he remained strong, standing as tall as he could to finally say-

“Y/N, I’m breaking up with you.”

... What?

He’s breaking up with you?

You couldn’t comprehend what he was saying, all the words going through one ear and out the other.

There was no way. There was no way he was breaking up with you. You were for him and you were for him. He loved you, and you loved him. There’s no reason why he would be leaving you right now, he just couldn’t do that!

He sighed, shaking his head at your dumbfound expression. “I just... I just I don’t think we’re right for each other. We don’t have any interest talking to each other anymore, and you know how easy it is to give up, right? That’s what we should do, and I know you’ll definitely find someone else.”

You still weren’t able to say anything, shock taking over you as your eyebrows furrowed and tensed up. Since when was he like this? He said he never gives up on anything, so why is he giving up on you now?

“You’re a great person and all, but I have to break up with you, alright?” His velvet voice which you swore loved you just as much made every single hope and dream die in your soul, the words he said breaking your poor heart even further.

You couldn’t possibly understand- you just couldn’t!

He was for you and you were for him. He loved you, and you loved him. It’d always been like that! You kept repeating over and over again in your head, trying to convince yourself that this was a bad dream that you needed to wake up from.

He didn’t say anything else, the sudden silence deafening your ears as you did your best to conjure up something to say.

“B-but why...?”

But why? All the sympathy from before drained from his heart once he heard those words and he couldn’t contain himself, chuckling at your misconception. Why couldn’t you get it through your thick head that he was being the right one here? It was the hard truth, you needed to realize that like he did.

“You can’t be serious, can you? It isn’t that hard to understand, I’m just saying that we should break up once and for all,” the boy muttered under his breath.

Was it that easy to say? Was it that easy to break someone you loved? Was it that easy to hurt someone you thought the world of?

The anger built up from weeks before rushed in you and you charged up to him, punching him in the chest with all you had to give. It was too weak to feel anything, honestly. He couldn’t help but smirk at your fragility.

“Yeonjun, how could you do this?!” You heaved, voice becoming stronger without realizing it. You threw another punch, strength failing you over and over again. “I gave everything to you!” You hit him again. “I did everything in my power just so that you’d be happy!” You hit him again. “I went against my own heart in trying not to contact you as you’d like, but it all came down to this?” He watched tears one by one trickle down your cheeks as your voice thinned with hopelessness, but he just wasn’t able to feel anything.

“You just weren’t good enough.”

It was like that one phrase set you off, and you clung to him like a fool, taking his freezing hands into yours while the atmosphere became thick with tension. Perhaps if you could’ve done something from the past the way he liked it, he wouldn’t leave you. Perhaps if you just worked on yourself and your appearance a bit more, he would actually find something to love. Perhaps if you just tried harder, everything would be fine. But why? Why had all your efforts gone to waste just like this?

“What can I do then? What can I do to make you love me again? Tell me, please! I want to fix everything, I have to fix what we have!” You gripped his shirt as hard as you could, your knuckles turning white from how hard you were doing so. His scent which gave you euphoria every time you sensed he was near had now turned sour, making your stomach churn with dead, exhausted butterflies you weren’t sure how to clean up.

There was no remorse in Yeonjun’s heart as he stared down at you, combing his fingers through his hair in frustration. This was much harder than what he had assumed, but you’d eventually move on, right? He honestly couldn’t say that he cared, and it was a bit funny to see how desperate you were.

“I don’t love you anymore, Y/N, get over it,” he said before pushing you away towards the tree you used to have dates under.

You then stumbled on your feet, almost falling over due to dizziness which numbed your senses. The thorny-like bark of the tree slit a few cuts on your arm, making you groan with tears in your eyes. You searched frantically to where he could be, eyes easily falling upon his body, where every single second you witnessed became excruciating both physically and mentally. Your chest twisted with unbearable agony while you watched him leave, walking out of your life as if it was the easiest thing to do. The splinters dug against the flesh of your skin, but you couldn’t care less. He was leaving. He was leaving, and you were just allowing it to happen.

“Yeonjun, please don’t do this to me!”

You hoped he would hear you.

“I know it’s all my fault, but please don’t leave me!”

You hoped he would just listen.

“I want you to stay, Yeonjun! Please!”

You hoped he would know how much you loved him so much to the point where you would die without him.

“Yeonjun, I still love you!”

But it didn’t work.

“Please...” You reached out to him in desperation that he would come back, but the once familiar figure slowly but surely left your life, taking your torn heart without giving you one, last glance.

«────« ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

To say you were a wreck was an understatement.

If an absolute pathetic mess who didn’t take care of their hygiene as they laid in bed all day, going through several tubs of ice cream was enough to say that you were a wreck, then that was it. But clearly, that in itself was not good enough just like what he said. You were terrible, clearly in shambles after what he had said to you. Faults upon faults kept piling upon the bitter taste of your tongue no matter how much you tried to distract yourself by doing the things you loved. In this situation, it seemed that hobbies didn’t work at all. The things you did had no purpose without him. It would only come out as second best, and you could even say this was the worst you’ve ever done them. All of it came down because of the breakup. How could you live without the boy who made you so happy every single day?!

So in turn, it had to be your fault for doing this. It had to be your fault because you tried so hard and yet it just wasn’t good enough. You caught yourself thinking that if you just changed yourself a little, maybe then everything could be different, and the two of you could be happy in love like always. That only weighed on your heart because you knew you were such a fool for him, hopelessly devoted for something that would never come.

Plus, it was bad enough that no one cared about you so much to even look after your well-being even if you felt terrible about getting help. Showing sympathy was the worst option ever since it only reminded you of how your ex would shower you with love and affection whenever something abominable happened to your heart. Looks like that wouldn’t happen now.

Soobin tried calling you a lot after he heard that Yeonjun broke up with you, but you didn’t give him any chance to talk to you. If he did, then you would burst into tears at his voice saying something along the lines of the words, ‘are you okay?’ Obviously, you wouldn’t be able to handle it if he saw you like this- like a sobbing mess that no one else could ever love.

A day passed of watching shows you used to love, and that didn’t work either. No spark of light passed your eyes while you gazed upon the screen you and Yeonjun used to share, laughing about your favorite characters who you would give the world to but were honestly too stupid to realize that they caused the problem in the first place. You weren’t able to help the tears that gathered up like puddles in your eyes when you saw Yeonjun’s favorite character, the one he adored all the time whenever you two watched tv together.

Every single place you looked at, it would only remind you of him. The couch where you two would cuddle all the time, and the one where Yeonjun slept on if you forced him out. Sometimes when you both were having a bad day, some things would lead up to another with shouting and angry eyebrows due to the cause of each other. Although that would be solved in no time and more times than necessary, you would find yourself sleeping on top of his chest so he’d wake up to you apologizing to him. With lots of soft kisses too! He said he loved you, and that was that. You loved him too.

Really, you couldn’t go a day without him so why was it so different now? What happened to the loving boyfriend Yeonjun used to be?

Just a day after he broke up with you, you found your spare key you gave to him right in front of your house, waiting expectantly for you to pick it up as if it was nothing special. Just the sight of it was enough to bring you tears and you threw it over the streets as if it was nothing. It didn’t get very much far though, but the only thing your mind screamed about was Choi Yeonjun this, Choi Yeonjun that, Choi Yeonjun every-single-where. If it was something from him, you wanted nothing to do with it! Except maybe his sweaters and pillows that still had the scent of him, yeah.

It would be strange if someone found it right on the black pavement your driveway, huh? And definitely used it to unlock your house in the wee hours of the night. Wait! And not even bothering to knock on the door before coming inside with the key that they found too. That would be totally strange...

It seemed the idea got to Soobin when he showed up to your house without you knowing, being smart enough to use the key to open the door. You awoke to his gentle voice luring you out of bed at like two in the morning, apparently just checking up to see if you were okay. Once hearing that, you sobbed onto his white sweatshirt, pretty much feeling bad that you wrecked both his mood to the max and his poor sweater that was victim to both your spit and tears.

A bleak outcome became of this even if he assured you so many times that it was okay. His shoulder and shirt in the upcoming days were your soggy tissues for the moments where you cried, but that gave you much ranting to let out anyway. Soobin couldn’t believe his very own best friend had the audacity to do this, but it wasn’t his business to do anything but help. He didn’t mention anything to Yeonjun who laughed about your ashamed expression when he listed the reasons to your shortcomings, though it wasn’t like he cared enough about him to see for the time being. He didn’t tell you either, for he didn’t know how you’d react. What he knew mostly was that you were busy cursing Yeonjun and his perfect, white smile that still very much caused flutters to your heart.

Little did you know that Soobin’s everlasting, sweet kindness would get you somewhere farther than what you could’ve ever expected; even if it meant eating tubs of ice cream just to make yourself feel better.

«────« ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

Time goes too fast for your brain to comprehend.

It’s been... almost one month since that very day.

That very day where Yeonjun broke up with you, marking it a month anniversary of where the love of your life crushed your entire being. That very day where you promised yourself you wouldn’t ever love again. That very day where you realized what the true meaning of what love really is.

So far, you haven’t heard about Yeonjun. Soobin didn’t tell you anything- which you were thankful for- otherwise you would’ve had a mental breakdown about his fluffy cheekies or the bright smile you so longed to have back. Likewise, he said he didn’t mention anything about you to Yeonjun, but you knew the boy was doing well without you. It’s been a long, rough month and you were obviously itching to move on, but that was what broke you the most.

You did your best to avoid him. You ripped every single photo you had of him in your albums although it caused you so much pain, you burned every single sweater you still had left in your closet for safekeeping, you threw all of the anniversary gifts he gave you- even the promise ring so that you wouldn’t go insane. Even you were surprised at how much you could do by yourself in trying to move on. And little by little, you could tell it was working. Soobin was proud.

In classes that you were with him, you made sure to sit at the end of the room so that he wouldn’t dare to notice you. Sometimes you’d find yourself staring at him whenever the teacher droned on and on, but luckily you got back into the lesson by engaging yourself by drawing in a few of your old notes to study from. The long hallways were crowded with tons of people, so there’s no way he’d see you too! You made sure of that. At lunch, you instead went to restaurants to waste some time until the next period started again. You made sure everything was perfect. You did everything in your power not to see him.

Passing period was just for a while, and you met up with Soobin who seemed to be a mess with his black hair all over his eyes. You bit back laughter at his ignorance.

“Thank you so much for helping me Soobin,” grinning, you passing him some bread from your lunch bag that you knew he would like. He accepted it generously, gnawing down on it as he shot you one of those eye smiles he knew you were weak for.

"Of course! You’re my friend, why wouldn’t I help you? Also this bread is much more yummy than Yeonjun’s cook-” speaking of the devil, you caught sight of the boy with blue hair (something you admired as you stared at him) who was walking in your direction. His head was turned to the side as he laughed with his friend, but that laughter was enough to shatter your heart all over again

Grabbing Soobin, you pulled him out to the other hall where luckily Yeonjun wouldn’t be able to see you two if he didn’t go there. You hoped he wouldn’t. He would see how you weren’t over him yet! One of you, you couldn’t discriminate between them, sighed. Your heart was thumping way too loudly in your chest in which you were sure anybody could hear it and you teared up, laying a shaking hand over your chest. That was a close one. That was so close, he could’ve seen you like this- like such a mess who wasn’t good enough.

“It’s because you saw Yeonjun, right?” Soobin’s hands gripped your arms as you suddenly felt overwhelmed with dizziness. What happened to your posture and your stature? You shook horribly, nodding your head at his words. Again, there was a bitter taste in your mouth as you avoided Soobin’s eyes. He must’ve been disappointed in you, but you just couldn’t do it.

“Yeah. I saw him again, and he could’ve seen me,” you spoke softly only he could hear it, clear tears of agony becoming one puddle onto the hard ground.

You weren’t sure if you could handle seeing him. You couldn’t allow yourself to after how hard you’ve been working.

Soobin just pursed his lips, pulling you in for another embrace of his. He doesn’t mind giving them to you whenever you needed it, and seeing you like this hurt him just as much as it did when you saw Yeonjun. Nonetheless, you were surprised at his manner despite the sadness that clouded your vision. You were expecting him to reprimand you since you were doing so well and this could be the next big step, but he didn’t. You knew that was only because he was only worried for you anyway.

What you didn’t know was that when Yeonjun turned the halls to see the two of you holding each other in the dark while you did your best not to make any sounds, he glared at Soobin who found him in the corner of his eye. In response, he furrowed his eyebrows back to him, laying his chin comfortably on top of the head as if it was what he always did. They both stood there for a few moments as your chest heaved up and down with heart-wrenching sounds of hiccups that echoed through the hallway, but not one of them dared to move moved. Yeonjun then shook his head, turning away as his loud, mocking steps were practically silent to you who sobbed on the one you knew you depended too much on. Soobin noticed that his annoyed expression was brimming with green, monstrous jealousy, obviously at the sight. But he didn’t want to tell you.

You didn’t stop yourself from crying until the soothing voice above reminded you that it was finally time for your next class. Pulling yourself together was the hardest thing to do in that moment as your stomach coiled with a churning spin. You wanted to throw up as regret bubbled in your fake smile. How would you ever move on if Soobin didn’t feel the need to help you?

Future you would’ve definitely gave her everything just to tell you that Soobin’s help failed.

«────« ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

Was it too early to say that you totally regretted coming here in the first place with Soobin?

All these people dancing upon each other and making out in whatever they could find weren’t your thing. Every place your eyes landed upon was something you definitely needed the eye bleach for, it was too disgusting for you to even glance at once in a while. It could be the drinks that are making people like this, but where was their modesty? You wanted to choke from how much they shoved it in your face that they were happy. That’s also due to the fact that they made you feel extremely single as well, but not the point!

Instead you were standing near the “punch” table, staring down at your drink since it was so much better to look at instead of people eating their faces out. Some of the boys tried to get you notice them, but you paid no mind to them. No amount of catcalls about what you chose to wore or the seductive snickers they sent your way could pull you out from your trance of the hypnotizing cup. None of them were as cute as your standards anyway... which was still Yeonjun.

A cup wouldn’t hurt tonight. Just one cup would be fine, wouldn’t it? You winced at the taste, nose scrunching up with disgust when you downed it again. It was hasty to put some more in the cup while you poured the most you’d ever done before, taking no time to repeat the same action. You knew that in a couple of minutes- hours or so, you’d probably end up drunk and alone on the dance floor, but who cares. No but seriously, who cares? Not even yourself, so maybe once you could actually find a distraction which, or for that matter, who makes you feel better.

One cup.

Two cups.

Some things led to another and what surrounded you became blurry, hazy, and too raggedy to make sense of.

You weren’t expecting to hear a familiar voice from out the corner send shivers down your back, prodding at your heart as you almost spit back your drink into the same cup.

It was in no doubt, him.

A lump appeared in your throat, making you choke on your own spit. Soobin lied, that rat lied to you! Was it on purpose or that he really didn’t know? You sure had to give it back to him by socking him in the stomach once you made eye contact with him. Otherwise they were having a date here, but you knew Yeonjun well enough that he wouldn’t do this from your past experiences.

However, that wasn’t the point! You got back to your surroundings, taking sneaky glances at who you’d been dreading to see this whole month.

“Please, no! It can’t be him!” You whisper-shouted to no one, holding your breath as the same scent with the same voice inched closer to you in slow steps. It passed through your nose, making your stomach churn with anxiety as you heard his *feet draw nearer and nearer and nearer to you. You could feel the breath in your lungs depleting as your eyes widened with fear, too paralyzed in your spot to move away. Was he going to hurt you even more now?

Move, please! Just move your legs and leave!

“Y/N, baby...? Please tell me that’s you,” Yeonjun gently called, getting closer with slow stomps and an aching heart in mind. He took in your bored facial features, the thumping in his ears getting louder and louder as seconds passed. It had been a while since he clearly took a look at you; in response, his mind clearly blowing over with a thousand questions per minute. This had to be an illusion, tricking him that it wasn’t the you he was searching for this entire time. Maybe he was drunk, but it just couldn’t be something that wasn’t there! Who else could it be other than the one person he’d been pining for, for a month?

It was you, the only person he’d ever loved.

The word baby pricked your ear, and you turned to the side to see Yeonjun with tears in his eyes. They were sparkling from the lights all over the house where you could clearly see them, and you cringed, looking away from him. What a sight you didn’t ever want to see for the rest of your life. It only made things worse, obviously! This urge of wanting to baby him while asking him had to be suppressed or else you wouldn’t know what would happen. You were doing so well. You couldn’t give up now.

“Y/N? Why are you here? I thought you’d be home studying like you always do,” the boy muttered, his eyes focused on your every action as if you’d disappear any second. He was right, you completely wanted to disappear from his sight. Still, you didn’t want to look back at him in fear that your streak would end in a demise.

“Nothing, and it’s none of your business anyway. Please, leave me alone.”

He only shook his head at this- or what you assumed from the peripheral vision of your eyes- and jerked a thumb at the red solo cup you were holding. You decided to gaze at it intently like you had been doing this whole time, bringing it up to your lips when he shouted something right in your ear. It was quite different than what he was murmuring earlier, and you almost dropped the cup from your already shaking hands.

“Y/N, stop drinking! I told you it wasn’t good for you, don’t you remember?”

Yeah, but that was back then.

You shakily sighed, clenching your eyes shut. If you wouldn’t allow yourself to look at him, then let’s not do any of this at all. A headache would soon become of this, if his nagging voice kept annoying you any longer.

“It’s an acquired taste, you idiot. Just leave me alo-”

"Please, listen to me,” he cut in, easily begging in favor of you. Too curious to hear what his request was, you didn’t say anything.

“I don’t know how to start this off but... I know I’ll never love this way again, just like I do to you. Y/N, can’t you see?! I’m dying without you.” He moved closer to you and you looked down at the floor, too shaken up to say anything. His breath was near enough that you could feel it right against your forehead while he looked directly at you with piercing eyes. You couldn’t bring yourself to say anything, the words of help stuck in your throat as your poor heart hammered in your poor, wrenching chest.

He then held out his arm towards you, one so desperate you felt it through his heart that he wanted to let you hold on. You looked away from that too, not wanting the urge of finally seeing him to enrapture you like always.

“There’s no one else who can ever replace you. It’s me for you and you for me like we’ve always said... can’t you see it too?” His words were too affectionate to get away from now. What was this warm feeling you received upon hearing that? Gulping nervously, the last part of his words resonating in your mind before he drew one, last breath.

“I need you,” he delicately whispered.

There must’ve been glue beneath you, for you were trapped in that claustrophobic spot in the corner. Of all the words he could say, he just had to hit you right in the chest where everything ached... Suddenly, it had become so silent you could hear a pin drop. Your ears had to be tricking you. There was no way Yeonjun could ever say that to you, after all the things he did to you a month ago. He had to remember that, right?! You can’t go back to him no matter what he says! He doesn’t love you. He never did.

“I’m leaving. Have the cup if you want it,” you shoved it into his hands and right off the bat, he dropped it like it was nothing. A deep, permeating frown was on his face and he grabbed your hands with his warm ones, holding it as if it was the only thing he ever wanted to do. His thumb stroked the top of yours, clinging on tightly in desperation as if begging you to spare one more glance at him before this love was somewhat forbidden, somewhat over.

“Y/N, I know I messed up pretty bad, but please. Please, be safe out there. I won’t hold you back anymore. Tell me to take you home, and I’ll do it. I need you, just please,” He held onto your hand, his fingers tightly wound with yours and your eyes widened. Why did he have to sound so genuine?

“Have a good night, Yeonjun,” you glanced at him for the first and last time to see a glistening tear run down his cheek. He was the same. Yeonjun was the same. All the way to his forehead and lips, he was just Yeonjun. His messy, blue hair was still just as charming as your eyes ran through it. His lips were like you left them, and you could do anything just to show him how much you adored them again. His pure eyes were still like the last time you saw them, innocent and sweet like it held no true matter of what the world was like out there.

It broke you just as much as the last time you saw him. He and you were finally meeting each others’ eyes, but not in a way you ever expected. You wanted to be free from him by the time you saw him again, so that he’d realize you were doing well without him even if the case was far from that.

And you wanted to say that it was what he deserved but why in the hell was your heart saying so much differently?!

«────« ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

By the time you got out of where Yeonjun currently was, you could feel yourself losing breath even if you hadn’t walked very far. It was true that you walked as best as you could because the legs which carried you across the dance floor simply felt like dancing jelly; all the while you kept cursing yourself internally for even making a dry conversation with him.

The air felt tense now. You felt as if you could no longer relax inside that same house for any longer. Soobin wasn’t anywhere to be found, but you didn’t truly search for him in the first place because this was one night where you wanted to enjoy yourself for a little while.

Maybe some drinking would help it like it had done earlier. You wouldn’t have to worry anymore about Yeonjun if you just changed your mindset due to the drinks! Wobbling, you gripped onto one of the cups that distinctly wasn’t yours and took a few swigs out of it, hoping it would help ease your nerves.

Three cups. His smiling face appeared in the cup, and you winced at the bitter taste. Why were you torturing yourself with this bitterness?

Four cups. Well, looks like you were okay, you guessed.

Some things led to another and here you were. At the dance floor where you were swaying to the music the dj put on whether it was romantic or made to have a blast.

Throwing your hands up to the sky like all the other people were doing, you realized you were having so much fun- for a couple of minutes or even a couple of hours, you weren’t sure- until two, sly hands gripped at your waist. You instantly cowered away with widened eyes, backing away from instinct when they forcibly pulled you back in.

“Hey, sweet cakes,” they slurred quietly, their breath repulsed with beer mixing in with the tacky scent of cologne they chose. You immediately noted that it was a male’s voice, scrunching your nose up at the rudeness he plainly owned. The audacity he had to come up to you like this instead of introducing himself with a tender voice. And a pet name straight off too?! Give you a break.

It made you think about how Yeonjun always treated you nicely, naturally acting like a gentleman whose kindness made your heart swell with love.

“Hey, asshole, could you leave me alone?” Despite the fear rushing through your veins, you made sure to stand firm like everything was okay. Sooner or later, he had to get the hint. And if not... you glanced at your heels, then catching a look at his crotch. But we could say that was only Plan B if nothing else worked out.

He chuckled at what you assumed to be your insolence, a cocky grin crossing his attractive and confident face that only made you want to throw up.

“Aw, don’t be like that! I saw you dancing right across the room and I knew I had to get a piece of that,” he muttered, getting closer to you by each step. You couldn’t help but groan at his terrible advances towards you.

“Well, I don’t care. Leave me alone, please.”

The man sighed, rolling his eyes at your words. You hoped that with that action it meant he was finally leaving you alone, giving you the peace you so hopelessly needed after the whiplash that took place with your ex. But he only got close to you, an uneasy grimace taking place instead of the pretentious, arrogant grin from before. Your stomach bubbled with anxiety this time, not feeling much too comfortable in the moment to dance again.

“Help! Someone, please!” No matter how much you kicked at the bottom area of his body (and missing them completely since your aim terribly sucked when you became drunk), he wouldn’t budge to your surprise. You tried squirming away due to the resistance of being a damsel in distress like every saving person needed to be, but the man would clearly not move with all your efforts!

He puckered lips swiftly while you hurriedly tried to move away with the best of your abilities. You were sure as hell you couldn’t get out of there even if you used all the strength that was left in your body. With the wall pressed up against your back and the looming arms that trapped you in, there was no way you could leave without pleasing him. He was getting way too close for comfort and you closed your eyes shut, no longer feeling the courage to shout at anyone through the blasting music.

“Now, how about you give me a kiss from those pretty-”

“she said leave her alone, you asshole!”

In one, sweeping moment which had you off your feet, you felt someone’s back brush against your front while you squealed with a deadening fright. At the very last bit of being harassed, you never would’ve expected to be saved by the one and only who you thought was never going to come back. Hastily you opened your eyes, only to see Yeonjun whose chest was heaving up and down from how fast he ran just to protect you.

“Leave her alone or else I’ll be forced to do something much worse- something more horrendous than you could ever imagine.”

Seeing how tall Yeonjun was in comparison to him, he muttered something under his breath before moving along to another direction. And just like that, he was gone. Gone to another place where you hoped never to see him again to bother either of you.

You internally thanked the heavens, eyes tearing up from how grateful you were to not have been physically attacked.

Yeonjun speedily turned back to you, his face blooming into a worrisome expression. Lips forming into a pout, he cradled your cheek, checking everything from your face to your arms which were shaking terribly in order to be sure you were unscathed.

Even if you hated him so much at the moment, even if you thought he was a dreadful person for hurting you, even if what he was doing could be because it was the right thing to do and not because he loved you, this was the Yeonjun who you fell in love with in the first place. He was right in front of you again and no matter how much you wanted to back away from him, you couldn’t deny that he was your precious knight in shining armor.

“Yeonjun, thank you- I’m scare...” Your brain wasn’t able to form a comprehensive sentence, words jumbled together to create a nonsensical grumble you were sure he couldn’t understand. He just cooed at you softly, taking you into his warm arms which felt just as cozy as his sweet heart. Your face subconsciously buried upon his chest, nuzzling into it as he gently patted the top of your head.

“Hey, hey, hey, I’m right here. There’s no need to worry. I’m right here, and I’ll always be right here.” His hug this time was made for you, and you happily sighed with a newfound relief. Tighter, you clung onto him, hoping he didn’t mind. A part of you knew that he didn’t care because he kept pressing those soft kisses he knew you adored onto the crown of your head.

Your brain was yelling at you that this was wrong, he could be toying with your heart again, but everything felt so right. Your heart wasn’t corresponding to your mind, telling you something the sober you wouldn’t be able to understand.

You were safe at last.

The both of you stayed like that for a few minutes with you sniffling into his embrace before he lightly rubbed your shoulder.

“Come on, baby, let’s go home to make you calm down,” he took your hand into his tenderly, treating it with the utmost respect. After all, it was what you deserved after all of that trauma.

All the way he made sure you were alright strolling beside him, protecting you like the world depended on it. His scent was too addictive and you followed him, holding his hand tightly while a soft smile became of his face.

Before you knew it, his steps led you to his house.

«────« ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

“Yeonjun, stop! You know I’m-” you erupted with an intermittent series of laughter, giggling over and over again whenever his fingers accidentally traced against your stomach. He was busy carrying you to wherever he was taking you, whining about how you didn’t deserve less from sleeping on somewhere comfortable.

“You’re not sleeping on the couch,” he giggled along with you, nuzzling his nose against yours. Anybody else who saw this could see that you both were clearly an affectionate mess, touching one another whenever they pleased.

Sooner than later after all that messing around, he laid you down on top of the bed as gently as he could, setting you down as if you were a fragile vase. His fingers lingered at your side before he cleared his throat, instantly pulling away at how quiet the atmosphere had gotten.

It was hard to see his face now; the dimness of the room and not to mention the side effects of being drunk disrupting your normal vision, but you could still see how intent he was on gazing at you. You grew shy at how long the duration of time he chose to stare at you with keen eyes, looking away compared to your strong, resistance persona from before.

Yeonjun found this little bit to be endearing, sketching out your whole, entire face in his head. To your adorable, button nose, to your cheeks which he oh so wanted to pinch, and to your lips that he was too afraid to kiss without permission, everything was simply perfect- a masterpiece that cannot be described in words. If it was up to Yeonjun, he would never look away because he was afraid he’d lose you again.

But this wasn’t right.

If he was there, it would only hurt you like you said earlier. His heart was screaming at him to let you know that he loved you more than anything else he’d ever laid eyes upon, but no, that wouldn’t be right either. He wasn’t sure how you’d react once he told you that. You’d leave him and rightfully so.

Even if he was drunk as hell, he knew you wouldn’t be too comfortable sleeping with him once you sobered up in the morning. Besides, it was his fault- he doesn’t get to treat you like the way he did before since he really has no right to.

Sighing, he turned to go until something grabbed onto his hand. His eyebrows rose up, but he didn’t allow himself to look back or else he’d betray all his morals.

Like he expected, you were the one holding him in place, your fingers sliding against his as they squeezed tightly.

“Yeonjun... stay? Just for tonight?”

«────« ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

A soft, genuine smile spread throughout his face as he turned over on his side, immediately expecting to touch someone that kept him company from last night. It had been a while since things were arranged like this, a month if he remembered correctly in his hazy mind. This was something he’d been desiring for such a long time already... he was going to make the most of it even if it was just a little bit.

Wait a minute... his fingers danced throughout the covers, eyebrows turning into a frustrated furrow and he finally realized what was happening.

But- but you were there with him last night! You weren’t an illusion! Your voice resonated through his head along the lines of asking him to stay, but you just weren’t there.

Panic swept throughout Yeonjun’s body as his eyes searched the whole entire room for any sign of her, looking at the door which was wide upon unlike last night.

“I messed up,” he groaned as he raked his fingers through his messy hair, heart dropping to his stomach as if it had weighed 1,000 pounds. His shaking, cold hand plummeted upon a pillow that was still warm and coated with her warm scent he always adored coming home to whenever he had a rough day.

But you were no longer there. You were gone.

“I lost her.”

---

Posted: 2/15/21- 6:30pm

Tags:

#txt fluff #txt angst #txt requests #txt reactions #txt imagines #txt scenarios #yeonjun fluff #yeonjun angst #yeonjun requests #yeonjun imagines #yeonjun scenarios #txt ff #txt fic #txt fanfic #yeonjun ff #yeonjun fic #yeonjun fanfic #yeonjun x reader

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lubdubsworld · 3 years

Text

Falling for you ( Falling from grace) Jungkook x OC

Rated : 18 +

Warning : . Fuck buddies? Or rather enemies that have sex. They just really hate each other but also can’t keep their hands off each other.

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5

Chapter 6

“Are you sure you want to head back to work today, Areum? Hoseok told me that he would give you the rest of the week off if you like... That bruise on your face is looking pretty nasty.” My sister commented mildly, her eyes worried as she watched me dab concealer on the mottled purpling skin on my jaw.

“I need to finish a couple of reports by the weekend. And Namjoon oppa told me he wanted me to be there when we viewed the CCTV footage later today. It’s going to help getting that bastard fired.” I flinched at how bad this side of my face looked.

The bastard.

“He’s not fired yet?” My sister made a noise of outrage.

“Of course he is. There’s a restraining order against him. But formally he needs to be terminated and Namjoon wants to do it in a way that it goes on his record permanently. Especially considering he’s already out on bond.” I wrinkled my nose.

There wasn’t much chance of Junho going to prison over this but I definitely did not want him within fifty feet of me, ever again.

“Jungkook’s busy with his practice is it? I haven’t heard from him...” My sister prompted and I nodded.

“His big match is coming up on Sunday. That's like four days away ...he’s probably cooped up in that gym of his.”

“I know... Seokjin works out there too... its a great place...how come you’re never there?”

I frowned .

“He actually has me blacklisted. I’m not allowed inside the establishment. ” I muttered.

My sister’s eyes widened.

“What? Why?”

I shrugged. The memory was a good one and worth reliving. In fact i relived it quite often when I was particularly horny with only my own hands for relief.

“I seduced him against his favorite punching bag once and he had to get rid of it because the cum stains wouldn’t come off. He’s a petty jerk.” I grinned at my sister enjoying the way her eyes went wide as saucers. .

She stared at me slack jawed. And then she shook her head in disbelief.

“You talk about him this way but you always look like you're half way in love with him. I don’t know what is going on in your head when it comes to Jungkook.”

I laughed.

“I love him. Of course I do.... I’m pretty sure he cares about me too, “ I remembered how warm and content I’d felt when he’d held me, how the police officer had immediately concluded he was my boyfriend, simply from the concern radiating off him, “ But, I’m not going to push for anything. I like how we are ...now.”

“Friends with benefits.?”

“I prefer the term enemies who fuck” I winked and she groaned.

“Whatever you say. But remember, you’re going to have to DTR at some point and I hope you don’t get a shock if he isn’t on the same page. “

“Unlikely. Now go distract mom so I can slip out of the back door.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“That looks pretty fucking bad.” Hoseok winced when he saw me and I groaned.

“Don’t remind me. I ran into Namjoon on the way up and he swelled like a bullfrog. Is Jungkook in today?” I asked him brightly.

Hoseok frowned.

“you guys are awfully chummy these days ....Need I remind you about the clause on interpersonal relationships in the office?”

I flushed.

“We’re...not....I mean. We’re friends. “

“I thought the term was enemies who fuck.” Hoseok said thoughtfully and I jumped.

“What-?”

“Jungkook told me, you little brat. I asked him why he went over to the police station and broke Junho’s fucking jaw and he spilled...”

My own jaw came unhinged.

“ He what?!”

“He posted the bond money for the bastard himself to get him out and then apparently punched him hard enough to land him in the hospital.”

“Oh my God...is he in trouble?”

Hoseok sighed.

“Of course not... Mr. Jeon had it taken care off at once but I knew something was up . He’s too old to play knight in shining armor , unless there was something between you guys...”

I sighed.

“We’re in a purely physical relationship yes with of course a splattering of affection for each other. But nothing that deserves a label or close scrutiny from the HR dept. Please Hobi oppa, just let me be. “ I fluttered my lashes and he rolled his eyes.

“Just as long as you know that Jeon Jungkook is a chaebol. He’s not going to make a honest woman out of you.” Hoseok gave me a pointed look and I wondered if I really did wear my heart on my sleeve.

Apparently, everyone could sense that my feelings for Jungkook ran deeper than just lust and I wasn’t sure if it was a good thing.

“Anyway, yo answer you question, yes. He’s in his office right now.”

I made to turn away but Hoseok grabbed my wrist.

“You have thirty five memos to answer and seventeen appointments to schedule. Your desk is this way, I suggest you head in that direction.” His eyes glinted in a way that told me he was incredibly serious.

I pouted.

Fine... I’d wait for lunch to go meet Jungkook.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jungkook had a secretary of his own , the smitten Miss Lee and she gave me an angelic smile, telling me that Jungkook was out to meet someone in the marketing department. If there was anything important, I could leave it with her.

Declining the offer and thanking her, I made my way to the fireescape and the back stairwell. One of the doors opened to the emergency exit in Jungkook’s office and it took me a little bit of running around but I managed to locate it easily enough.

Jungkook had left the door open and less than ten minutes later , I was in his office, staring around in mild awe.

Weirdly enough, I’d never been here. before, mostly because Jungkook himself wasn’t in here all that much. But there was no mistaking that he actually did take his work seriously . I peered around the expensive drawing Tablet and the three or so monitor screens , the stylus tossed about.

It was probably a huge breach of his privacy but I couldn’t help but click on the mouse, watching his monitor come alive.

I blinked in disbelief when I realized what I was staring at.

“Oh my fuck...” I

I felt my face flood with heat as I stared at the screen.

It was a drawing of me.

I was completely naked , reclining against what looked like a thick white fur rug , with countless plush cushions scattered all around me. The snow white fur set off the golden glow of my skin and I noticed the attention to detail, the tiny mole in the corner of my hip, the small half moon scar on the edge of my collar bone and of course an impressive collection of hickeys on my neck and my inner thighs.

I looked the way I usually did when I was mouthing off at him, a little angry and rebellious, my eyes blazing with a challenge and my lips parted in annoyance . I had one hand resting right between my legs, two fingers pressed against the labia while the other two disappeared into me. The other hand lay on my breast, fingers tweaking one hard nipple .

I turned away quickly, breathing harshly as I realized that Jungkook had literally drawn an incredibly accurate drawing of me masturbating , purely from memory.

Not entirely sure if i should be angry at this or not, I tried to clear the hazy cloud of arousal that was beginning to settle all over me. I wasn’t angry.

I was just ridiculously turned on.

And incredibly curious if he had other pics of me.

I whirled back around to the computer and then nearly jumped out of my skin when I realized that Jungkook was leaning against the doorway, watching me with an amused smile on his face.

“Oh, fuck...” I clutched at my heart which felt like it was going to give out.

“Pretty sure your desk isn’t here, Areum. Are you lost?” He drawled, stepping away from the door and stalking over to me.

I stepped back quickly, the action purely instinctive.

“Did you punch Junho?” I asked sharply.

Jungkook gave me a small smile.

“That is a very mild way to put it yes. He’s gonna be eating through a straw for a couple of months , yes.”

I glared at him.

“What if you got arrested.” I folded my arms.

He laughed.

“Baby, come on. fucker had it coming. Anyway enough about that loser. Why are you hovering near my desk. Corporate espionage is generally frowned upon baby... Am i gonna have to spank you, you naughty girl?” He waggled his eyebrows.

I rolled my eyes before walking up to his desk and turning the screen around to show the lewd artwork .

“how long have you been drawing me like that?” I pointed at the screen and Jungkook looked surprised.

Surprised but not particularly bothered.

“Ah... i love that one... Did you see the way I only drew four of your fingers between your legs baby, your thumb is supposed to be rubbing on your clit.... I was working on it when I got called away earlier....” He looked apologetic.

I felt like I had turned the exact shade of the marron carpet under my foot.

“Jungkook how long have you been drawing me naked...” I snapped.

“ Oh... probably the first time you let me see you naked.” He said nodding lightly and I stared at him.

“How come I’ve never heard of this?” I hissed and he gave me a grin.

“Because it’s for my own personal...use.” He grinned.

I glared at him.

“How many....?” I demanded.

Jungkook shrugged.

“50...? 60? Definitely at least fifty.” He said casually.

I stared at him.

“I wanna see them.” I said sharply. Jungkook sighed, like I was being a pain , which was so unfair it made me want to scream.

“Areum, I-”

“Jungkook?” A soft voice called from the outer office and I frowned when Jungkook startled.

“Oh, hey... Sana..... Come in.” His voice had shifted into something mild and pleasant and I felt my hackles rise.

“Oh..hello... Areum ssi...” The girl gave me a confused smile and I resisted the urge to fold my hands and demand what she was doing there. Instead , I moved away from behind Jungkook’s desk, grabbing a file.

“Good afternoon Sana ssi.” I smiled.

“I’m sorry, I missed lunch, Sana.... I wanted to give you this. “ Jungkook pulled out a small envelope from his jacket, smiling an absolutely angelic smile at her.

Sana looked suitably enthralled, her eyes trained greedily on his perfect face as she took the envelope.

“Oh.. are these--?”

“Tickets to my match on Sunday yes...” He smiled. “ I’m hoping you’ll be there.”

I felt my lungs expand as I took a deep breath to calm myself down. The urge to screech like a banshee was increasing by the second.

“Oh, I’ll be there for sure. I’ll be cheering you on from the front row, Jungkook !!” She all but bounced on her feet, looking positively giddy with excitement as she bowed to both of us and literally floated away.

I waited till she was fully gone before turning on him.

“There better be another envelope in there with my name on it.” I gritted out.

Jungkook grinned wide at that, eyes dancing with mirth.

“In my jacket? Not really. But there’s something much better in my pants with your name on it. Want me to whip it out for you baby?? “

He grabbed the edge of his belt buckle, tugging the leather out of the hoops and I glared at him.

“You are out of your mind if you think I’m going to be okay with you letting everyone watch you fight but me. That is just unfair and uncalled for.” I snapped.

Jungkook was still tugging on his belt, but he paused to give me a look.

“What’s in it for me?” He said softly.

I frowned.

“What?”

“I’m not going to enter a deal without an equitable pay off....Its obvious that you’re really turned on by the thought of watching me fight . So unless you give me something I’m thirsty for.... I’m not going to indulge you,” He said casually.

I laughed in disbelief.

“There is literally nothing I’ve denied you in bed , you're crazy to even suggest -”

“I haven’t fucked your ass yet.” He said casually.

I could feel myself turning red.

“No.” I hissed. “ Absolutely not.”

“Why the hell not?” He frowned.

“Because it fucking hurts. I’m not going through that again.” I snapped.

Jungkook groaned like he was in actual pain.

“Baby, its hardly my fault you’ve never slept with a real man before me, is it? Why should I deprived the pleasure of fucking your ass just because those buffoons didn’t know how to do it right?” Jungkook’s voice was dangerously close to a whine and I resisted the urge to throw something at him.

“I don’t fucking care...its a no. So drop it. ”

Jungkook narrowed his eyes.

“Fine. I’ll drop it. For now.” He muttered and then made a big show of thinking, “ alright fine. How about you let me tie you up.”

I stared at him.

“You literally do that every time we have sex.” I pointed out.

“And I get to use my toy box.”

I blinked.

“Your toy box.” I said , confused. He grinned mischievously.

“You know the one...Big mahogany box underneath my bed. The first time I showed you, you kind of screamed and called me a monster?” He grinned wide.

i had a brief flashback of an assortment of whips, floggers and gags.

I shuddered.

Nope.

This wasn’t working.

“How about this.... Either you get me those tickets or you don’t get to fuck me. At all.” I smirked.

Jungkook hummed.

“Why would you punish yourself like that love?” He drawled. “ You can’t live without my dick, the sooner you accept that the easier life is going to get for you.”

The audacity of this bitch.

I walked right past him , ready to stalk out, but his hand shot out, gripping my elbow and pulling me into his embrace.

I struggled against his hold, but he brought both arms around my waist, flexing his muscles so I could feel just how futile it would be to try and break free.

“Come on baby, walking out in the middle of negotiations...that’s just really poor etiquette. Think of the poor hostage....” He pouted , doe eyes wide and I nearly caved. He had no fucking business being sexy and cute.

I laughed in disbelief.

“Hostage??....are you talking about your fucking ego....?” I stared right up at him , tilting my face when he moved to kiss me. His lips latched on to my jaw instead, tongue licking the skin there gently as he hummed .

“No...I’m talking about my dick.” He grabbed both my elbows, swinging me around like I weighed nothing, one arm holding me in place as he pressed up against my back, hips rolling so I could feel the hardness of his dick right against the swell of my ass. “ Dude’’s feeling pretty darn trapped right now. Poor thing just wants to get inside you and ruin you baby, why you making it so hard for him...?”

I elbowed him sharply, vindicated when the sharp edge of it caught something hard and fleshy. Jungkook grunted in discomfort but didn’t let go of me.

“My little hellcat. “ He bit down on the juncture between my neck and shoulder, “You know why my dick is hard?”

“To match your cold unfeeling heart?” I snapped and he moaned in mock hurt.

“Not fair baby...I have the kindest heart... Soft heart, hard dick....That’s literally my entire persona.” Jungkook nuzzled my neck .

I fought the urge to laugh .

“So why then? Because I’m within ten feet of you? Isn’t that all it takes usually?” I muttered, wincing a bit when his teeth sank in a little deeper.

Jungkook let out a soft chuckle.

“Normally I’d agree but today... I’m so fucking hard because you looked like you wanted to claw Sana’s face off when I gave her those tickets....”

I flushed.

“Well, I just don’t think I should be the only one not allowed to see you fight.”

“Or maybe you just hate the idea of any one else getting to touch my dick...because like I said...it’s got your name on it right baby?” Jungkook laughed against my ear and I blushed .

“I still think its rude that you don’t let me come to your matches.” I grumbled.

“And why do you think that is, baby? Why do you think I’m so adamant about you not being anywhere near me when I have something important to do...”

I didn’t reply, eyes fluttering shut when he suckled on the skin near my neck.

“Its because I’ll probably lose..” He growled into my ear, “ Don’t wanna get knocked out in the first round because I was too busy staring at your pretty, pretty face and delicious fucking body... My only distraction, my favorite distraction.”

I felt myself melt like an ice cream cone in the fucking sun.

“Oh, fuck you....you honey-tongued son of a bitch...” I choked out, unable to fight the wide grin that was taking over my face.

Jungkook chuckled in victory, hugging me tighter.

“So tell me.... Can I tie you up tonight? Get some of my favorite toys...Want to play in your sandbox....” He leered and I laughed despite myself. How could this man make the most innocent of phrases sound so fucking sexy....

“Only if you let me pick the toys.”

Jungkook let go of me and gently turned me around. He was frowning deeply.

“Babe you don’t even know what their called.” He complained.

“But I can gauge how much damage they’ll do and that’s more important to me.” I pointed out.

Jungkook gave me a thoughtful smile.

“Hmm....fine... But I get to offer the choices. “ He said softly.

I narrowed my eyes at him.

“Okay, in that case you need to let me see every single drawing you’ve made of me... right now.” I smiled.

Jungkook grinned, already grabbing my wrist and tugging me back to his desk.

“Deal...but I’m gonna need you to sit on my cock and keep it warm while I show them to you..... okay?”

I glared at him but he was already moving to the wide , comfortable chair behind the desk. He sat on the chair, manspreading and unbuckling himself before wriggling the slacks down past his waist and tugging his boxers down.

I watched him reach in to pull out his hard cock , pumping the hard length of it a couple of times before smiling at me expectantly.

“Horny bastard.” I muttered under my breath, before letting him maneuver me into his lap, fingers slipping up my skirt and tugging my panties aside , before lining himself up against my center.

“Ready baby?” He kissed my cheeks fondly and I nodded lowly. He pressed a couple of fingers against my slit, dipping in just enough to make sure I was wet enough. I wasn’t dry per se, but it still stung a bit when he drove himself in with one swift stroke.

“Oh, fuck...” I groaned when he entered me , the rock hard length of him cleaving my insides and making my tongue go dry. I clenched down on him, thighs beginning to tremble already. I gripped the edge of the table in front of me.

“Maybe I should call Sana in now.? Huh baby...that’ll show her who this dick belongs to, right , angel?” He whispered against my ear and I moaned, a gush of arousal staining my thighs at his words., Jungkook laughed knowingly, wrapping an arm around my waist to keep me still before rolling his hips gently and settling inside me.

“So baby, which ones do we start with.... Solo shots? ones with me....? There’s one of me fucking your pretty pink hole, maybe that’ll change your mind about letting me take you in the back...”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author’s Note : I’m stopping here because the next chapter is just like 5k of porn and I wanted it to be a standalone chapter.

Comments are love , Feedback is really appreciated. Send me your thoughts, ideas or even just scream about how hot Jungkook is....anything works.

taglist : @veronawrites @aamxxrii @brooky95

@apollukee

@ladyartemesia

@yoongisdragon

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ if you guys wanna be on the taglist just lemme know...

#jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook smut #jungkook au #bts au #bts enemies to lovers #jungkook fics #jungkook reactions #bts smut #bts fics

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romiantic · 4 years

Note

this is me, slipping into your asks from your friends blog! idk if you saw the request but i’d love a bokuto fic where his s/o is having a rough natural hair day, i am currently ... struggling lol. thank you angel!!!

𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩 𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐮𝐭

reading: black!fem!reader

genre: fluff

word count: 1.6k

request: this is me, slipping into your asks from your friends blog! idk if you saw the request but i’d love a bokuto fic where his s/o is having a rough natural hair day, i am currently ... struggling lol. thank you angel!!!

a/n: I’m am SOOOO sorry for the wait sis 😭 but I really do hope you enjoy

Another one. For the past two hours, you’ve managed to break three scrunchies and your rat tail comb. You groaned in huge frustration, trying to figure out why your hair isn’t working out for you. “What the fuck?! Work with me, DAMN!” You harshly combed out your hair and SNAP! You brought back down the wide tooth and saw the comb snapped in half. In fury, you threw the comb across the room.

“This thing acting like I won’t shave it off and call it a day.” You complained out loud while pulling on your hair and trying to figure out what to do.

“Babyyy! Y/N!” What a relief! Your handsome, six foot two, volleyball playing boyfriend came into your shared home, happy to be home with his beautiful girlfriend. Typically you would yell back hello if you were busy or come into his large body and give him a tight hug as he tells you how his day went and give you multiple forehead kisses.

But today you didn’t. You haven’t left your vanity and glued yourself to your seat as out loudly cursed your hair. Seeing that you didn’t welcome him home, he looked around the house to see where you were until he met a frustrated you pulling at your hair. Bokuto was actually used to your bad hair days so he knew how to approach you whenever your hair didn’t feel like cooperating.

He put his bag down next to the couch and quietly crept into your shared bedroom. Instead of greeting you with loudness, he wanted to comfort you and distract you from the thing that was stressing you the most. He walked behind you and snaked his arm around your waist, giving you a soft hug as he softly said, “Hello y/n, did you miss me?”

You got scared at his touch but calmed down at the hearing of his soft voice talking to you. You slightly turned to face your boyfriend and smiled at his golden eyes trying to calm you down. You took a breather from all the stress and answered, “Of course Kotaro, why wouldn’t I miss you? You’ve been gone all day.”

“You seemed frustrated when I came and you didn’t say hello.” He curved a slight downward smile, “You didn’t even give me a hello hug, you always give me a hello hug.”

You sighed and kissed his cheek to reassure him, “I’m fine babe, it’s just that my hair is not working with me at all.” Bokuto looked at your hair then back at you, mentally solving how he can fix your hair problem.

DING! Something hit him and grew happy at his idea. He smiled widely and asked you, “Y/N can I do your hair? Please please pleaseee. The way you style your hair is so pretty and I wanna try it myself.” The man kept begging you until you finally agreed, “Okay okay Bokuto, you can do my hair. But fuck it up and you’re sleeping on the couch for a week.”

“Don’t worry y/n, I got this.” Of course your boyfriend had confidence that he knew exactly what he was doing since he saw you do your hair literally almost every day. For date nights, games, work, any occasion, he would just sit on the bed and watch you work your ways on your hair until it becomes a masterpiece. Always leaving the white/black hair man in awe of what you can do with two hands. One of the great gifts of having a black girlfriend if he does say so himself.

You got off your chair and took a seat on the carpeted floor. While Bokuto went to go shower and put on a change of clothes cause he knows you don’t like having his sweat roaming the room. After, he took a seat at your vanity and looked at your hair supplies spreaded around. He thought about what style he should do on you, there’s so many to choose from and you would look good in all of them but which one?

You looked at him and saw a concerned look on him, you asked, “Something wrong Bo?”

“I don’t know what I wanna do, I mean what I can do to make my baby even prettier than she is now?” You lightly laughed at his compliment, and his thinking face that he had on.

Finally, a style came to mind, one that was simple yet he loved seeing you in it. Before starting, he collected all of the supplies that were needed and got to work on your hair. At first it was silence surrounding the two of you until Bokuto excitedly started talking about how practice went.

“Y/N you should’ve seen me at practice today! The way I was hitting those spikes was literal perfection, I barely missed any. Oh, we had this five-on-five game today and I got to be team captain.”

“It brought back old memories didn’t it?” You smiled at the memory of seeing Bokuto in his high school uniform, fulfilling his captain role, putting a smile on his team's faces for scoring, and being one of the greatest aces in Japan of course.

“Yup! Feels like old times when it would be Akaashi setting the ball for me and the great ace, that’s me, comes flying in, spiking it and getting another score. Now it’s Atsumu setting for me and Hinata cheering me on, I think Sakusa cheered for me too, don’t remember.”

“Last time I remember Sakusa cheered was when Hinata actually didn’t fuck up his quick attack with Atsumu.” You two laughed at the memory of Sakusa being somewhat excited at Hinata for not missing the ball or spiking it too late.

The conversation continued on about practice until Bokuto decided that it was your turn to speak. You spoke about it as Bokuto was all ears, listening to you, even though you were mostly cooped up in this house since it was your day off from work.

You stopped talking to take a peek at what your boyfriend was doing until he firmly pushed you back down on the carpet. He commented that you would ruin the process, he needs to focus, and that he wants you to wait until the end.

“But Bo-”

“Nope y/n, you have to wait.”

You furrowed your brows at him, “It’s my hair Kotaro, why can’t I see?”

“Trust the process y/n! Don’t you always do that with your hair?”

You let a ‘hmph’ and crossed your arms, “At least I get to see what I’m doing.”

Bokuto gave a wide smile to your grouchy face, “You’re gonna love it y/n, I promise.”

You peeped Bokuto grabbing rubber bands, giving you some ideas of what he could be up to. “And I’m holding you to that promise.”

To make time fly by, the two of you had random conversations that led into a whole nother topic than before. One minute you’re talking about getting new furniture then the next, you’re talking about the coral reef. At some point, you guys even had an odd conversation about weird habits that people do.

“Anddd done y/n.” Bokuto scooted back the chair and got up from it, giving you room to get up and take a look at your hair. Your eyes widened and your jaw dropped at the work your boyfriend did. You were honestly caught by surprise that your boyfriend could do something like that with your hair. Styling it a large puff with black and white rubber band style going across.

Meanwhile, Bokuto was chewing his lip and getting nervous, wondering whether or not you liked it. He knew how much you loved your hair and he wouldn’t wanna do anything to mess up your beautiful curls/coils. “Do- do you like it y/n?”

You turned around, seeing your face lit up washed away his nerves and giving him a breath of relief. You immediately jumped on him, which caught him by surprise and made him lean back, landing on the bed with you still on him. You responded,”I love it Kotaro! You did such an amazing job and this style is bomb as hell, where did you learn how to do that?”

“After that failed attempt at doing your hair, your great boyfriend, that’s me, went on Youtube to learn how to do different hairstyles with your hair. I really loved this style and I spent hours learning it, but I say it was worth it.”

You smiled at his answer, it made you giddy inside that your boyfriend takes time out of his day to learn how to do your hair. Your hair! One that was definitely different from his natural spiked up hair. This kind of dedication made you fall in love with him even more than before.

You gave him a large smile and kissed him, “It was definitely worth it Bokuto cause I fucking love it. Plus I think it’s cute that you tried to match with the black and white rubber bands.”

“I’m so happy you love it y/n.”

You kissed his cheek and said, “I’m even more happy that I have a boyfriend like you.”

“Besides, what if we have a kid y/n? I can’t leave it to you to do all the work. I wanna have little daddy-daughter dates and do her hair while I’m showing her volleyball videos.”

You laughed at him, “You’re gonna stuff our future daughter’s brain with volleyball and make them say ‘One touch’ instead of ‘mama’. But I think that’s so sweet of you Bokuto.” You hugged your boyfriend and he hugged you back even tighter, “That and I didn’t like seeing my baby frustrated.”

“Next time my hair doesn’t cooperate, I’ll just call you for help.”

“Call me Bokuto, the great hair superhero!” You two laughed at the superhero name and shared the moment of happiness and content surrounding the two of you. Honestly, you couldn’t ask for a better boyfriend besides Kotaro Bokuto himself.

omg I finally finished it, wow I’m proud of myself

I haven’t written in a superrrr long time but hopefully I can get back and write regularly

bye babes, drink your water, stay hydrated, and remember that you are the baddest bitch on the planet 🥰 no matter what ANYONE says

𝐏𝐬𝐚𝐥𝐦 𝟐𝟕:𝟏𝟒 💗

#bokuto x black!reader #bokuto x black reader #haikyuu x black!reader #haikyuu x black reader #kotaro bokuto #x black reader #black y/n

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milkybonya · 3 years

Text

In THE DaRk

order 004 for anon: large coconut milk tea (In THE DaRk by BOBBy) with regular tapioca pearls and fresh taro

Warnings: food mentions

Pairing: idol!Hui x delivery worker!reader

Summary: you deliver food to cube ent. and end up becoming friends with Hui, an idol who's at the peak of his career... but he finds himself falling for you even as his songs rise on the charts :")

Word count: like maybe 3k?

[a/n]: i love this request because i love this song and writing it while listening to the song on loop in the dark of my room just made me so happy? also i put wayyyy more effort into this than necessary and it turned out super long >.< i'm so sorry anonnie i hope you like itttt ahhh

Shine, you shine on my existence

Sure, Hui was an idol with a life of his own - especially now, during Shine promotions, that his group, PENTAGON, was blowing up. Yet he never failed to make time for you, because you were the light of his life.

As a hardworking idol who was always cooped up in his studio and skipping meals, his members encouraged him to at least order food. He was reluctant but eventually agreed, not wanting to make them worry.

That's where you came in: a delivery worker at a local restaurant not too far from Cube entertainment, Hui's company. A lot of people ordered from your restaurant to Cube, so you weren't surprised when a new order flashed on the iPad screen at your workplace.

"We've got another delivery, [y/n]," the worker at the front told you with a smile, walking to the back to tell the cooks what to prepare.

You tapped your feet against the ground, awaiting the order. Once it was prepared, you carefully placed it in your delivery bag, fastened it to your bike and off you went, wearing a helmet of course.

The gentle breeze was enough to cheer you up and give you energy, despite the scene around you being full of traffic and slightly bleak.

Once you arrived, the guards let you in without even checking your workplace ID this time, recognizing you as a trusted delivery person.

You made your way up to the floor listed on the order, roaming through countless hallways until you finally found the right room. Judging by the area and the doors, it seemed to be full of studios.

The person who ordered this must be working hard, you thought to yourself.

Suddenly, you got an urge to leave a note, wishing the person well. You took out a scrap piece of paper and a pen that you always had handy, your heart racing and your hands shaking at the thought of doing this. You were excited at the idea of the person being happy to see such a cheerful note...

I hope you enjoy this meal and that it gives you enough energy to keep working hard :) Go for it!

After neatly placing the food and note at the door, you knocked and walked away, not wanting to bother the person. Even though you didn't turn your back, you heard the door open a few seconds later.

"Thank you!" a voice echoed through the hall.

You turned quickly to say ‘you’re welcome’ in response and caught a glimpse of what seemed to be a young idol hard at work. His hair was messy and he had dark circles under his eyes, but his mismatches clothes and bright smile were quite cute.

You thought that would be the last you’d see of him, but from that day onwards, he always ordered food from your restaurant at the same time: 2:09pm. Why so specific? You weren’t sure, but that’s how it was, and you being the only delivery worker at your restaurant meant that it would always be you taking the food to him.

The second time you went, you were surprised to see a note waiting on the door for you.

Thank you for your cheerful message... I’ll do my best to work harder!

It made you smile and you decided to leave another note with his order, this time just asking him what his favourite side dishes were so you could tell the cooks to put more of those in next time. Instead of him leaving a note for you with the response, though, Hui decided to text you this time so he wouldn't have to wait for you to make another delivery before you could see his response.

Unknown: This is Hui! Ah, I ordered food from you at 2:09pm? I'm not really picky on side dishes, but one of my members likes kimchi, so could you make sure to leave more of that for me?

You: sure, of course! but how did you get my number?

Hardworking Hui: Ah, sorry! It was on the app since you're the delivery worker... for me to contact you in case you get lost? I'm sorry!

You: No, that's okay! i just wanted to be sure ^^

So after that day, you made sure Hui always got extra kimchi with his order. He would always greet you at the door of his studio, quickly asking about your day and how you were doing. Truthfully, he actually wanted to ask you to come inside so he could talk with you some more, because the two of you would always get an interesting conversation going before you declared you had to leave.

Since he was too shy to ask you in person, he texted you, instead.

Hardworking Hui: could you get the rest of the day off after delivering my order today?

You: why?

Hardworking Hui: so you can eat with me? if that's okay? or just take an hour off!

You: ...

You: Only if you pay for my food :P

Hardworking Hui: deal

So that day, you asked your manager for the hour off from 2:30pm to 3:30pm. She agreed, knowing that you always work hard and deserve a break.

Showing up to Hui's studio with his usual order and some food for yourself in your hands, you knocked a little nervously this time, knowing that this wouldn't just be a delivery, but a whole... hang out? Type of thing?

Hui had made sure to clean his studio to the best of his ability, making sure that there was another comfy chair for you to sit on and that the room didn't smell bad or anything. He lit a couple of candles and vacuumed the place so there would be no dust. When you knocked on the door, he jumped out of his seat with excitement, immediately opening it.

"Hi! Come in," he said, holding the door open so you could step inside. Seeing the cosy, dimly lit space left you in awe.

"It's so cool to see where you've been working away for all this time," you said, sitting down on a chair and putting the food down.

"Yeah... sometimes I get tired of it, but it's home," Hui said, sitting on his studio chair and opening up the food.

"Ah... where's the kimchi?" Hui asked, pointing at all the dishes.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, I told the cook to include my favourite side dish too, but he must have just replaced the kimchi with this instead, I'm so sorry!"

Hui laughed, shaking his head.

"It's completely fine!" he said, handing you your favourite side dish.

As the two of you began eating, you were able to get to know each other more as you spoke and asked each other questions. Even though it was a little silly asking for each other's favourite colours and seasons, it was a lot of fun, and the two of you turned out to have a lot in common.

Tears are erased by my emotions / Add, add colour to the world

After that day, you weren't just a delivery worker for Hui, and he wasn't just a customer to you. The two of you became close friends, attending the concerts of your favourite artists together. Hui would joke and say that he was attending for work reasons, trying to gain musical inspiration, while you had no real reason to be there. You'd slap his shoulder lightly, telling him to watch his words while he'd laugh at your reaction.

Even though his work was stressful at times, it was days like those that seemed to make him cry in reverse, if that was even possible? You showed up and turned his world around, adding colour onto his black and white canvas.

His members even told him that he seemed more cheerful and energetic despite still working hard in the studio, and Hui even told you that his songwriting process seemed to be running more smoothly.

"I'm so glad we became friends," he told you, leaning his head on your shoulder one day as the two of you sat on a park bench. You smiled, strongly agreeing with him in your own heart.

But do you remember when I mentioned Shine promotions at the beginning of this? Well, let's skip forward to that point.

By then, you had seen Hui and his group perform quite a few times, whether it was at concerts, music shows or even on the TV at your home. You were incredibly proud of him and wanted nothing but for him to succeed.

Every time Hui found you in the crowd at any of his live performances, he'd feel some kind of crazy adrenaline rush as all of his tiredness just seemed to magically disappear. He'd perform as if rent was due just because you gave him the energy to do so.

"Was [y/n] watching us again?" Hyunggu asked backstage after another performance for Shine ended safely.

"Yeah, I saw them there!" Hongseok confirmed.

"Plus, you can tell by the way Hui is acting," Yuto laughed, nodding towards Hui who was frantically texting you asking you if you'd left completely.

You told him you were still at the venue, and he begged you to come backstage. When you arrived, you greeted all of the Pentaboys, who adored you almost as much as Hui did, before joining Hui at his makeup table. You greeted the makeup artist too, out of respect, before asking Hui why he needed to see you so urgently.

"We might win today... I just wanted you to be by my side as good luck," he explained, a clearly worried expression on his face.

It was a shock to you that despite Shine doing so well on the charts, Pentagon still had not gotten their first win, but you knew they were an amazing group, regardless.

What you doing now? What's your plan now?

You placed your hand on top of Hui's, which rested on his own thigh.

"Hui, I know you haven't been getting all the wins you've been expecting, but we can't deny that this song is absolutely a bop and you have all been killing it!" you told him with a smile.

You couldn't tell whether or not your words had any sort of effect on him because he was looking down, but you hoped they at least didn't make him feel worse.

The rest of the Pentaboys cheered hearing your words though, feeling energized at your honest observation.

Hui was looking down because his stomach was tied in knots at the feeling of your hand on his. It was something he'd never felt before... butterflies? He tried to shrug it off but he couldn't stop wondering about your intentions... did you place your hand over his for a reason? What were you trying to tell him? What were you planning?

Inside my brain, after making a place for you / You make it impossible for me to sleep

That night, Hui still couldn't stop thinking about your simple gesture. You didn't mean anything by it, right? It was just a friend comforting a friend... the two of you had been friends for a while now, so why was he thinking into this so much?

As feelings of sleepiness took over, he drowsily wondered what it would be like to hold your hand rather than to just have his hand underneath yours. What would it be like to be held by you?

The next day, with more promotions ahead, you made sure to send Hui a text of good luck. You wouldn't be able to watch from the live audience that day, since you had work and deliveries to carry out, but you still wanted him to know that you were thinking of him.

Hui couldn't stop staring at your message of good luck for the whole day, pressing his finger on the heart emoji that you added at the end of your message.

"Hui hyung, are you reading something?" Wooseok asked the leader, sitting beside him on the sofa in the waiting room.

"Huh? N-no," Hui quickly said with a laugh, tucking his phone away.

"You've been staring at your phone all day... what is it, is it a fun webtoon?"

"No, no! Don't worry about it," Hui laughed, ruffling the tall boy's hair.

Wooseok whined, yelling about how the stylist just did his hair. Meanwhile, Hui's heart was racing. Why had he been staring at your text message all day?

You: I'm thinking of you today, Hui! Go get em, good luck <3

Are you thinking of me in this dawn? / I wish there was a continuous portal from my room to yours

Again, that night, Hui couldn't stop thinking about you. This time, it was about the message you'd sent him. He still had it open and was staring at it. He wondered if, when you said you were thinking of him, did that mean you were thinking of him right then and there too? At the same time when he was thinking about you?

Were your sleepless thoughts filled with him, just like his were filled with you-?

Ring ring. Ring ring.

Shit.

He'd been staring at your text and holding his phone so tightly that he accidentally pressed the call icon next to your name.

"Hello?" you answered sleepily. It was 3am and you had been asleep.

"H-hello? [y/n]?"

"Yes, Hui, what is it?"

"I uh..."

He desperately tried to think of an excuse for calling you, any reason-

"I wish there was a portal that went directly from my room to yours."

Really, Hui? Was that the best thing you could think of?

His heart raced and he smiled as he heard your laugh on the other end. He didn't realize he'd balled his other hand into a fist until your laughter made him calm down.

"What are you saying, Hui?"

"I miss you..." he mumbled.

Despite being sleepy, his words still made you nervous. Your heart raced and you wondered what he was trying to tell you.

"I m-miss you too," you croaked out.

"Really?" Hui asked you, sitting up in bed.

"Yeah, really," you said, laughing. It wasn't a lie, either. You'd been watching all of his performances on your phone that day while working, almost falling off your bike because you were that invested. In him.

"Do you wanna meet up now?"

"Now?" you spluttered.

"Yeah... by the Han River?"

You paused for a while before answering.

"Let's do it."

Even if I breathe in the cold air / It feels sweet, so sweet

"AHHH IT'S SO COOOOLD!" Hui yelled into the night air, rubbing his arms and running around in circles beside you.

"Here, take my coat," you said, but instead just wrapping your arms around him.

Hui tensed up, wondering if your arm that was wrapped around his chest could feel his heartbeat.

"W-what are you doing?" he asked.

"Providing you with warmth," you said.

You also felt butterflies stirring within you, realizing that maybe you saw Hui as more than just a friend. Yet you shrugged it off, telling yourself that Hui was an idol and you were just a delivery worker.

You can't know my pathetic feelings / Even if I've confessed a hundred times inside my brain / I'm invisible to you

Hui stayed quiet, closing his eyes tightly and enjoying the feeling of being in your arms on this cold night. He knew this embrace wouldn't last and that maybe it wouldn't happen again, because in his mind, he was invisible to you. Just a friend who you goofed around with, but all of your jokes made his heart rush.

The two of you ran around the grassy banks of Han River together, laughing into the night and chasing each other like kids. Each time Hui caught up to you, he'd wrap his small frame around you so tightly that it made you lose your breath. You told yourself it was just because you were running so hard, but it was definitely something else.

As the sun was beginning to rise and the two of you were finally in your homes, trying to get some sleep, Hui imagined what it would be like to confess to you. What if he confessed right there and then when you hugged him by the Han River? What if he told you how much he likes you and... what if you felt the same? What if you cupped his cheeks in your hands and kissed him right there as the river reflected the starlight from the sky...? What if Hui would drop his phone in shock but would kiss you back more passionately?

No, Hui. No.

If I ever want you to feel the same / That must be greedy, that'd probably be a chance to peek into heaven / 'Cause you are angel

There was no way any of that would ever happen. There was no way you would ever like him back, at least for Hui. You were way too good for him, an angel on this planet full of demons and sinners.

Little did he know that you were also squinting at the sun, struggling to get some sleep as you thought of the way Hui would press his face into your chest every time he caught up to you at the Han River as you chased each other for fun. His bright smile and gentle laughter made your heart feel like the Han River itself, gently flowing along but filled with such a refreshing feeling.

After another week of intense Shine promotions, Hui feeling all sorts of emotions as Shine continued to soar while his feelings for you also grew, it became unbearable. The two of you would talk late into the night, whether it was sending texts because Hui was busy working or whether it was phone calls. Hui thought about you every second of every day and always missed you a ton.

Please know that I like you / I just want to be there for the rest of your life

Hui asked you to meet him in his studio one evening, as he knew your work schedule and knew that you were free. You agreed, slightly confused as to how he was making time to meet with you despite being so busy.

"Hui, I'm here!" you sang, opening the door to his studio and finding him sitting there in his chair, looking especially cute as his hair was slightly ruffled and he wore a big, comfy hoodie.

"[y/n], I have to tell you something," he said, with a slightly sad smile.

"Yeah, what is it?"

You grew worried, but decided not to make a fuss over anything just yet.

"So, for some time now.... well, of course we've been good friends, and I don't want this to ruin that if you don't feel the same..."

He sighed mid-sentence.

"Gosh, I don't know why I'm rambling," he said with a laugh.

You instinctively laughed along.

"Well, [y/n]. I like you... a lot. I know it's pathetic for me to feel this way when I don't even deserve you, but-"

"You like me?" you cut him off.

Hui nodded in response, looking slightly red now.

Nervous and absolutely bewildered, you starting laughing to yourself, making Hui worry if he'd said something wrong.

"Hui, I... I like you too, what the hell?! And here I was thinking I was pathetic!"

"You're not pathetic at all!" Hui said, grinning widely and bright red in the face upon hearing your answer to his confession.

Both of you nervously smiled at each other for some time before Hui broke the silence.

"I know... it may be hard to date me... well no, it will be hard to date me since I'm an idol, but I promise I'll give this my everything. It's a given, because of how much I like you and how lucky I am for you to even date me-"

"I never said I was dating you," you joked.

"What?" Hui asked in shock.

"I'm joking! Hui, it's okay. We'll get through these difficulties together, whatever they may be," you said, holding half of his face in your right hand, stroking his cheek with your thumb.

Hui leaned into your touch, closing his eyes.

"You're right," he said, before turning his face and pressing his lips to your hand.

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blvejeanbaby · 3 years

Text

Play Ground | Jung Yunho

Pairing: Yunho x reader, mention of reader with other idols (but it’s still basically a non!idol au) Word count: 3.8k Warnings: mentions of sex, alcohol consumption Summary: Drunken words are sober thoughts... sometimes spoken at clubs and playgrounds

The pre-party was in full swing. Yeosang and San were over by the counter, preparing a second batch of mojitos, which you weren't sure you were going to drink (the previous one had contained far too much rum and you were not one to water down your drinks); Jongho was in charge of the music, arguing with your friend Ginny about the line-up (she wanted a certain sing-along Beyoncé ballad). Your eyes passed over Wooyoung and Mingi, who were a beer pong team against Seonghwa and Hongjoong, who were losing spectacularly. And finally, your eyes found Yunho. He was standing by the sliding doors leading into the back garden, watching the beer pong game over the rim of his red cup with an amused look in his eyes. Just then, your eyes met. You smiled, not wanting to appear suspicious by looking away too quickly. He smirked back at you, pushed off the wall and sauntered over to you.

He was drunk. It was quite clear now that he was walking (damn Yeosang and San's cocktail making abilities!) by the slight stumble in his walk as he passed the column in the middle of the room. He was rather clumsy as he dropped down onto the couch next to you. From up close, you could see his cheeks were slightly rosy and his eyes held a shimmer to them that suggested... something more. You weren't sure what. "You were sitting here all lonesome," he said.

"Lonesome?" You raised your eyebrows. "I was enjoying peace, quiet and voluntary solitude." You patted the throw pillow that lay in between you and Yunho. "I was considering taking a nap, actually. You know how alcohol makes me drowsy."

"Does it, now?" He held his cup out to me. "Sip?"

"Is it mojito?" But as you leaned to smell, it was a lot sweeter than the medicinal smell of the rum. "What is this?"

"Some Spanish liquor," Yunho said. "Mixed with milk."

Indeed, the substance in his cup was quite white. You wrinkled your nose. Even though his description suggested otherwise, the smell promised a sweet taste. "I think I'll pass." You leaned back against the couch, pulling your legs up under yourself. "Shall we play Never Have I Ever with the others? I'm bored."

“Sure. I’ll call them over.” You held your breath; Yunho leaned in as if to give you a kiss, but he only put his cup on the table behind you before getting up and rounding up the others. A pang of disappointment shot through you as you watched him gather your friends. Provided with newly filled cups of San and Yeosang’s mojito mix, everyone settled around you on the couch. You felt as though you were about to tell a grand story and everyone was gathering to listen. You were glad Yunho went to sit down beside you again, even if it was just to feel his body warmth.

“Who starts?” Hongjoong asked before taking a tentative sip from his cup. He made a face; evidently the mojito tasted bad.

“I will,” you said. After all, it was your idea. “Never have I ever... made out with anyone in this room.” You took a sip and winked at Ginny. You weren’t the only one to lift your cup: San and Wooyoung looked, rather suspiciously, away from each other as they drank, as did Jongho and your friend Yeeun.

“My turn,” Mingi said. You felt Yunho stiffen beside you. “Never have I ever had feelings for someone in this room.”

You lifted your eyebrows as you watched Yunho decidedly take a sip. You followed, as did Wooyoung. When no one else drank, you saw how Wooyoung’s face fell. You also saw Ginny throw you a wink this time.

Now, it was Yeeun’s time to think of a question. “Never have I ever... thrown up in my mom’s vegetable garden.” She looked at Jimin intently. Jimin laughed, taking a sip. She was the only one to.

The game continued for another while, after which the group split into two: those who wanted to smoke outside and those who wanted to play a round of truth or dare. You watched Yunho go with your eyes as he left to smoke, you staying with the group inside. You didn’t feel much for playing the game, but you stayed nonetheless.

It was Mingi who asked you your first question of truth. “I saw you drink just now... Who is it you had feelings for?”

Everyone’s eyes were on you. You were glad that Yunho, San, Wooyoung, Seonghwa and your girl friends weren’t there, but at the same time you missed Ginny. She would understand your inner turmoil at the moment. But you had had a bit to drink now and there was no denying it...

“Come on!” Mingi pressed you. “Tell us. You picked truth!”

“Fine,” you sighed. “It’s-”

“We need to go!” The sliding door to the garden was thrown open and Seonghwa burst inside, looking all sorts of frantic. “We needed to be queueing at the club ten minutes ago!”

Seonghwa had been right in trying to plan the evening. You should’ve arrived earlier to ensure not queueing for too long. But there was nothing to do about it now, as the line to enter the club passed down several other establishments on the road. You stood next to Ginny, who was chatting animatedly to San about something to do with university. You saw Wooyoung throw the boy many glances that were probably very meaningful, but you didn’t quite understand what was going on there.

You were just about to turn to him to ask if anything was wrong, when your eyes moved past him and saw... “Changkyun?”

Changkyun and his friend Jooheon immediately looked up. When Changkyun saw you, his eyes lit up, as if he was happy to see you. “Y/N!” He gestured for you to come closer, so you did, stepping past Ginny to get to the barrier in order to hug Changkyun. You two had had a casual thing for a while, but it had ended a few weeks ago because he got himself a girlfriend. Finally, you had thought when he announced to you via text that he couldn’t see you anymore. Although you knew via Ginny that the girlfriend had up and left already. “It’s been so long.”

“I know,” you said. Being back in Changkyun’s arms felt so familiar, you almost couldn’t breathe. “Come on,” you drew back from his embrace and tapped the top of the barrier. “Come stand with me.”

Changkyun and Jooheon didn’t have to think twice; the line was so long already. Because of your history of hooking up, Ginny had often been left with Jooheon. She spun to talk to him as Changkyun cornered you against the wall. It was clear that this was perhaps one of the first few times he was going out again after breaking up with his short-term girlfriend. He wanted a rebound, apparently... “What have you been up to?”

You started explaining something completely irrelevant about your past week - you had been rather cooped up inside trying to study for an important exam and had seen very little alcohol and very little night life. You didn’t ask for details on Changkyun’s week, fearing it would be awkward to talk about the ex-girlfriend, but he started talking about her himself.

As soon as you entered the club, you felt excited. The buzz you had felt during pre-gaming had worn off a bit, so you instantly dragged Changkyun with you to the bar. He paid for your drink, which told you quite clearly what his intentions with you were for tonight. You weren’t about to say no, not to the drink and not to his plans.

Until you spotted him. Yunho stood with his back against the wall, listening to Yeeun telling what was possibly a great story about her favourite activity in life (flower arranging; oddly enough she always found a way to sneak it into conversation). He ought to be looking at Yeeun, but he wasn't. Instead, his eyes were trained on you.

You quickly looked back at Changkyun, feeling suddenly awkward, as if Yunho had caught you in a very compromising position with Kyun. But it was nothing like that, not yet at least. You tried to smile at Changkyun, to appear normal, but you could feel it wasn't at all convincing. You felt a sudden urge to tell Kyun to fuck off (he didn't deserve that rudeness, he was perfectly gentlemanly in every way), push Yeeun out of the way and confess your undying love for Yunho. But that was madness.

So you excused yourself to the toilet instead. Luckily, there was a long line and, unlucky for you, it caused you to have time to overthink. Would you have hooked up with Changkyun any other night? Definite yes. He was hot, good in bed, had a good personality and always treated you with respect. His friends and roommates were amazing and you liked sleeping over there, even if only to appreciate the view from his apartment and the softness of his bed. But tonight was different.

Perhaps it was because you had admitted it, if not to others than at least to yourself; you liked Yunho. You had a crush on him. You thought of the way he had sipped at the question (he was in love with someone!), the way his eyes were on you and not on Yeeun. He couldn't be in love with Ginny, you told yourself. If it was Jimin, that was just immoral; Mingi had a massive crush on her. No, it was none of them... so it had to be you. Or had he just been playing around? Had he misunderstood the question?

You quickly did your business at the toilet, wanting to return to the club’s main area to dance. You passed by the bar, which was void of Changkyun. You found him a moment later on the edge of the dance floor, his front stuck to an unknown girl’s backside. On the hunt for a rebound, as you had suspected. You smiled at Jooheon as you passed by; he was dancing with Ginny. They were always platonic, but you weren’t sure if they would remain that way.

Instead, you found Yeeun, Yunho, Hongjoong and Jongho a little further into the mass of bodies on the dance floor. Jongho was looking wistfully at Jimin, who was a few metres away, dancing closely with San. Behind him, Seonghwa and Wooyoung were just returning with drinks in their hands, the latter looking at San with a similar expression as Jongho at Jimin. You, however, turned your attention to Yunho. His was already on you.

You decided to test your theory. For Ginny’s birthday last year, you and the girls had all arranged for her to have both a pole dance lesson and a lesson in burlesque dancing. If there was one thing you had learned from that, it was to feel comfortable and confident. It was that feeling you summoned as you adjusted your movements to the rhythm of the music, attempting to make yourself as sexy and appealing as possible. You suspected you needed little effort to get Yunho’s attention, as he was already looking at you and only you, but you could aid the situation this way. If you wanted something to happen... this was the way to accomplish it.

The music was loud, the bodies around you sweaty. You were way too alert of everything that was happening around you, but at the same time you were oddly focused on Yunho only. And that’s when something snapped in him.

He was by you in a second, accidentally shoving Yeeun out the way and into Seonghwa’s arms, in an attempt to get to you faster. He was intoxicated, very clearly so. He would never be as bold as to touch you where he touched you now; his right hand was on your hip, his left cupped your face. He tilted your face upwards and bend over. Your breath hitched. Was he going to kiss you? But no, he bend a little further to speak in your ear: “I thought tonight you would be with Changkyun.” He spit his name, angrily. You had never heard Yunho talk of anyone that way.

“Not if you’ll be with me,” you said, feeling bold. You wanted to reach up and touch Yunho, but it was always you taking the lead. He had never been this way before, always taking a backseat to everyone else. Oh no, don’t mistake him for not having personality or confidence. He wasn’t shy, he wasn’t reserved. But he was careful, sometimes near calculating. Yunho knew what he wanted and how to get it, but he would prefer to wait and see. And there you were, answering his unspoken calls, finally. Finally forgetting about Changkyun.

“Let’s leave,” Yunho said.

“Leave?” And leave our friends behind? you wanted to ask.

“I have something I want to show you,” he said.

You pulled back a little so you could see his eyes. He was drunk, yes, but not so drunk that he could not think clearly. “Okay,” you heard yourself say.

Five minutes later you had said goodbye to your friends (Ginny already congratulated you on your catch, even though nothing had happened yet; Wooyoung had looked sourly on as he promised to tell San you had said goodbye; San was pressed against a girl’s backside; Changkyun and his girl were getting thrown out by a security guy for him fingering her in the club’s bathrooms), you had collected your coats from the wardrobe and you were on your way to whatever Yunho wanted to show you.

The night air sobered you up significantly and with a tentative peak at Yunho, you could see that it had the same effect on him. Your hands swung in between you two, occasionally brushing against each other. You bit your lip, gathering all of the courage inside you to reach out just a little bit and -

His hand was warm in yours.

You couldn’t help but look up at him and smile. He was staring straight ahead, but by the bulging of his cheek, you could see he was smiling too.

After a few minutes of walking, Yunho led you into a park. There were no lights on inside, there was only the glow of the street lights a little ways away. You had frequented the park when you were younger. Every day after school, you would go there to hang out, unaware that you were scaring the younger kids away. You hadn’t been to the park in months now, years even. You didn’t think Yunho would be so sentimental as to take you here.

The park’s center piece was a large playground, complete with every playset you could imagine: slides of different heights, seesaws with an animal theme, an array of different swings. And there was a relatively big, wooden playhouse. It was the playhouse you had had your first kiss, the playhouse where you got drunk for the first time. It was that exact playhouse that Yunho started climbing into - he had to let go of your hand to do so.

You followed him inside. The interior was warmer than outside, despite the many holes in the wood. Even though the floor of the house was covered in sand, you didn’t mind sitting down, because it meant sitting next to Yunho. In honesty, he was all too big for the playhouse. He had to pull up his knees to be able to fit his legs and he had to slump down a little bit to not hit his head, but he seemed comfortable nonetheless. And more importantly, he seemed to be staring at you.

“Is this what you wanted to show me?” you asked, getting shifty under his gaze.

“Oh!” Yunho said, as if he’d forgotten. He shot up a little, hitting his head on the roof of the playhouse.

You laughed softly. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” he said, rubbing his head.

You sat up a little, taking the hand that was rubbing his head in yours and softly pulling it away to reveal the damage done. There was nothing to show for it, although you imagined there would be a nice little bump the next morning. You bent over and pressed a kiss on the sore spot. “There.” You swore Yunho blushed.

He moved on quickly, saying: “This is what I wanted to show you.” He took out his phone, using it as a flashlight. Yunho pointed it at the wall of the playhouse, revealing a drawing. It was a heart, shot through with an arrow. On the left side stood YH, on the right YN.

You moved closer, taking out your finger and stroking the drawing. “How long has this been here?”

“Remember when we came here the night before graduation? We played truth or dare.” You nodded, remembering how, at the end of the night, everyone was escorted out of the park by police after ignoring noise complaints and being drunk in public. Luckily, because you were underage, the police had settled for contacting your parents and sending you home with a warning. “I hid in the bushes when the police came. I managed to sneak away. I figured they’d only be warning us for the noise, so I came back when I saw their cars drive away. Only, everyone had gone. I didn’t know if others had managed to escape the police, so I climbed in here to wait it out for a moment. When no one returned...” Yunho shrugged. “I thought it was going to be the last time we would all be here together. And I wanted to leave a trace of us behind.”

“A trace of us?” you said, tracing the outlines of the heart. “Of Yunho and Y/N.”

“I was in love with you. All throughout high school.”

You felt your heart contract. “You were?”

Yunho nodded. “I know you didn’t, don’t, feel the same way.” He shrugged. “You had a massive crush on Jeon Jungkook when he was still in school with us, right? And then, the year of our graduation, you suddenly shifted your focus onto Moon Kevin! I was so upset.” He laughed a little, as if it was funny. “And then you got with Changkyun.”

You saw all of the faces of the boys he mentioned in your mind. Jungkook, whom you indeed had had a crush on, but so did the entire school. That was never serious. And then Kevin... It had been a little bit more serious, but you found out he was dating some ulzzang and you had given up. And then Changkyun...

“None of that was ever serious,” you said. You thought of Changkyun. You had only been seeing him for about a year or so - way past graduation. You jerked your head up. “When you said you were in love with me... You are not still, are you?”

Yunho didn’t respond, just looked away to his phone, turning off the flashlight.

You figured he wouldn’t respond at all, unless prompted by you... “Because if you are,” you started, gulping. Were you really about to do this? There was no turning back now. “...then that would be really fortunate. Cause I- Cause I’m in love with you too.”

Now it was Yunho’s turn to jerk his head up quickly. “You’re just saying that.”

“No!” Your eyes, used to the dark, searched his face. “I mean it.”

There was a long pause, and then a smile broke out on his face. “You do?”

You couldn’t hold back a chuckle. “I do, Yunho.” You wanted to reach out and take a hold of his hand, but he had something different in mind. He grabbed your face, in a rather rough manner that revealed the alcohol had not made its way out of his system entirely, and pressed his lips firmly against yours.

It felt so different from every single kiss you had had before. Where before, you had not been able to stop comparing every partner to the previous, you were now only focused on Yunho. On the way his grip on your face softened as his other hand found purchase on your waist. On the way he made a little yelping sound as he pulled you closer - so close that he lost his balance and toppled over backwards, you following him without breaking the kiss.

You didn’t want the moment to ever end. You were far too content just lazily dragging your tongue against his, his hands exploring your body. After what felt like an eternity, you pulled away from him, Yunho’s lips following yours needily. But you sat up a little, too far away for him to reach. “We should head home,” you said.

“Nah,” Yunho said, pulling you by your hands so you fell softly on top of him. “I don’t want us to face drunken Mingi.”

Your heart burst at the thought of what he meant - he thought you had wanted to come home with him. There was no way you would suggest taking Yunho home to Ginny and Seonghwa - the latter of which seemed to be permanently crashing at your place after being thrown out by his partner two weeks ago. And so instead, you shuffled down a little bit so you could lay your head on Yunho’s chest and close your eyes.

You could feel Yunho’s heartbeat, as well as his chest rising and falling with every breath. The soothing atmosphere (the birds of the park slowly coming back to life, chittering away) made you so sleepy, you didn’t know where the night ended and sleep began. At least you knew when the morning came.

You opened your eyes, groaning a little. You were hungover; you felt the headache as soon as you opened your eyes. Your eyes were met by another pair and -

“Argh!” You shot upright, your scream causing Yunho to wake up too. He shot up, hitting his head on the roof of the playhouse once again. In scaring you, the little kid seemed to be scared himself; his eyes disappeared from the entrance of the playhouse, followed by a thump and a yell: “Mom! Mom!”

Yunho rubbed his head, muttering angrily under his breath.

You wiped the sleep out of your eyes, not caring that you were wiping your makeup off as well. “We should go.”

“Before they call the police on us,” Yunho agreed.

But even if the mother would have called the police, it wouldn’t ruin your day. Instead, you figured it would have been a perfect full circle moment.

#yunho x reader #jung yunho #ateez x reader #ateez fluff #ateez suggestive #yunho imagine #yunho fluff #ateez imagine #yunho suggestive #kpop x reader #kpop fluff #kpop suggestive #kpop imagine #ateez #yunho

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noona-clock · 4 years

Text

The Dog Walker

Genre: Dog Walker!AU

Pairing: Hanbin x You (Female!Reader)

Warnings: None

Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 | Words: 2,022

You gasped softly when you glanced at your watch and saw what time it was.

If you had waited even a few seconds longer, you would have missed it.

But, as it was, you still had some time. So, you leaped out of your chair and dashed to the window in the front room of your townhouse, using two fingers to widen the slot between the blinds as inconspicuously as you could.

Your gaze shifted as far down the sidewalk as your window would allow, and when you saw the small, brown dog rounding the corner, your stomach flipped over itself.

Because the small, brown dog meant that he would follow.

And, sure enough, barely a second after you saw the dog -- whom you had named Teddy in your mind since he looked like a little teddy bear -- there he was.

You had no idea who he was. You didn’t know a name, an age, a location, a personality -- nothing. The only things you knew about this guy were that he was a dog walker, he took the same route every day, and he was somehow incredibly cute and incredibly handsome at the same time.

His dark hair that fell over his forehead just right. His slightly rounded cheeks that were just so pinchable. His square jawline and chin that added the perfect touch of sexiness to his face. His full lips that screamed to be kissed (not that you would kiss him because you didn’t know him, but boy did you imagine it). His straight nose that fit perfectly amongst his features.

And his eyes.

Oh my lord, those eyes.

They were never focused directly on you, of course, but you had caught enough glimpses of them to know that if they ever were... you would most likely faint on the spot.

But it wasn’t just his face that made him so captivating and alluring. The way he dressed was so effortless but so cool. And the way he walked kind of made it seem like he was a bumbling idiot but also like he knew exactly what he was doing.

Plus, as he’d passed your window one day, you’d heard him talking to the dog he was walking and it had almost made your heart beat right out of your chest.

It had sounded like he’d been having a full-on conversation with Teddy, and his tone of voice had been just about the cutest thing you’d ever heard.

If you ever did meet this guy in real life, you weren’t sure you would survive. And if you did, you certainly would never see or talk to him again because you would undoubtedly act like such a fool that he would stay as far away from you as he possibly could.

So... best to never even meet him. Or go outside to get your mail as he walked past.

You pressed your lips together, holding your breath as the guy and Teddy approached your window. Some days, it seemed like they were both walking in slow motion and you had all the time in the world to admire your dream man. Other days, it seemed like someone had pushed the fast forward button and the whole thing was over in the blink of an eye.

Today, blessedly, was a slow motion day.

Your forehead wrinkled as he loped down the sidewalk, his stride casual but purposeful. You bit back a squeal when you saw his mouth moving, murmuring some unknown words to Teddy (or whatever the dog’s actual name was).

And your eyes followed him like your life depended on it. As if you would actually cease to exist if you stopped watching him for even a millisecond.

And then, a few moments later, just the same as every other day... he was gone. He turned the corner at the other end of your block and vanished.

It was the highlight of your day, and yes, this was all incredibly concerning and upsetting. You were fawning over a guy you had literally never met. Literally never spoken one single word to. Literally did not even know you existed! And yet your heart began to hammer when you knew he was coming, and it sank when he was no longer visible from your window.

It was kind of like he was a celebrity you fangirled over... except he was just a normal guy. A dog walker. One who presumably lived in the same town.

But he was definitely as handsome as a celebrity!

...Still, though. You knew if you ever told anyone about this daily routine of yours -- about your secret crush on a guy whose name you didn’t even know -- they would judge you. Harshly. And for a long time. Probably until you stopped spying on him as he went about his work.

So... you never told anyone. You didn’t even talk about it out loud to yourself. You didn’t write anything in your journal, either! This whole situation was something you would take to your grave.

With a soft sigh of disappointment, you let go of your blinds, turned on your heel, and shuffled back to your computer. It was right smack-dab in the middle of your work day, after all, and now that you’d had your daily fix of Cute Dog Walker Guy... it was time to come back to reality.

You know how some people get into a very specific routine but they can’t even remember how that routine came about? Like, it just sort of happened one day and then it stuck and now it seems like it’s just always been a part of their life.

That’s not how it was with your routine.

You remembered exactly how it had first happened -- every little detail. Partly because you had the memory of an elephant and were extremely observant, but also because... I mean, how could you forget the first time you saw...

Was it too dramatic to say ‘the man of your dreams’?

Maybe?

Okay, fine, I’ll just say this: How could you forget the first time you saw Cute Dog Walker Guy?

Close enough.

It had all gone down about two months ago, on a Wednesday. You had just finished a particularly long, particularly stressful project at work, and you had stepped away from your home desk for a limb stretch and a brain break. And probably a snack.

The sun had been streaming in through the blinds, and you’d had a thought to go and open them, wanting to soak up a bit of vitamin D after being cooped up inside the entire morning.

And then you’d heard the barking.

If anything could put a smile on your otherwise grouchy face, it was a cute dog. And since you were the type of person to think just about any dog was cute, you scurried over to your window and, rather than pulling on the cord to lift the blinds up, you simply peeked through two of them to see if you could spot this yippy friend.

And, sure enough, you caught him trotting around the corner just in time.

You’d thought seeing this adorably fluffy brown dog would be the highlight of your day... but then the person walking him had come into view.

Basically, you’d known instantly that you were a goner.

The day after, you’d kept an ear and an eye out for both the dog and the dog walker, and much to your surprise and gratitude, you’d been rewarded.

And again the next day, and the day after, and the day after.

At first, you’d thought the fluffy brown dog belonged to him, but there were some days when he was joined by a scruffy tan dog and other days when he was joined by a smooth gray dog -- both of them so cute you thought your heart might burst. So, you had eventually come to the conclusion that he was a dog walker.

Many times, you had been tempted to try and look him up by searching for dog walking services in your area. But, somehow, you’d resisted.

First of all, you kind of enjoyed the mystery. Second of all, you didn’t have a dog, so there was really nothing you could do with any information you found on him besides stalk him on social media.

You already spied on the guy every single day. Wasn’t that enough?

Your plan was really just to continue waiting and watching as he walked by your townhouse for as long as he chose to walk by your townhouse. If he ever decided to take a different route, then... you would just move on, I guess? Maybe try to actually meet someone you might be interested in dating?

That sounded like a pretty solid plan.

But, as we all know, life very rarely ever goes according to plan. I mean, the instant any one of us thinks we’ve come up with a pretty solid plan, The Universe simply shakes its head and laughs.

Instead of watching Cute Dog Walker Guy go past your window every day, admiring him from afar and daydreaming about your life together, wondering how much time you had left to watch and admire and daydream...

Well, I might as well just stop trying to explain and actually tell you what happened.

It was Monday. You were slightly depressed because the weekend had been far too short, and honestly, who decided that a workweek should be five days long, anyway? You’d barely caught up on your sleep over the past two days, and now you were expected to work again? For five days straight? It wasn’t at all fair, and along with being slightly depressed, you were incredibly distracted.

Really, you were sitting at your desk waiting for Cute Dog Walker Guy time rather than actually even trying to work.

But such is life!

And when the time finally arrived, you were ready. You pushed your chair away from your desk, stood up, and tiptoed over to your window with a hopeful smile tugging at your lips.

Almost immediately after you peeked through your blinds, though, you knew something was different.

Instead of hearing the jingling tags of Teddy’s collar, you heard... yelling?

“No, no, no, stop!”

...That didn’t sound good.

Your eyes darted around, trying to see what could be causing Cute Dog Walker Guy (at least, you assumed it was him) to call out like this. And when your gaze finally landed on a squirrel scampering around on the sidewalk and climbing up up a stop sign, you couldn’t help but let out an amused giggle.

Finally, Teddy turned the corner, and he was joined by a brand new dog you’d never seen before -- a dark brown brindle dog who was tugging at his leash and hunting the squirrel as if his life depended on it.

Cute Dog Walker Guy stumbled behind, his brow furrowed deeply as he continued to call out after the dog, desperately attempting to get things under control.

Attempting... and failing.

The squirrel hunter had, apparently, tuned out everything in the world around him so he could focus on his prey and was now jumping up the stop sign pole and barking.

“No, please, be quiet!” Cute Dog Walker Guy pleaded.

The squirrel then jumped from the stop sign onto the trash can at the corner, and Squirrel Hunter leaped after him.

Cute Dog Walker Guy yelped as the dog yanked him forward, both leashes getting tangled up in the stop sign and the trash can.

And then Cute Dog Walker Guy fell to the ground.

Your eyes widened and your mouth fell open slightly, a soft but strangled yelp of concern emerging from your lips.

Oh, god.

What should you do?

I mean, obviously, your instinct was to run outside and help him! He was now sprawled on the ground, trying to keep hold of the two leashes while one dog was still wildly jumping and whining toward the squirrel.

But... wouldn’t that be weird?! If you just immediately showed up to help him?! He would know you’d been watching!

Although, maybe he wouldn’t care? I mean, it really looked like he needed help.

But what if --

“Owwww -- stop! Stop it!”

At hearing Cute Dog Walker Guy’s moan of pain, you fled from your window and skidded to the front door.

Part 2

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