#actually osfed

[support]

Everything okay?

If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, you are not alone.  

If you are in the United States, please try:

National Eating Disorders Association (support, resources, treatment options)

If you are outside the United States, visit IASP to find help lines related to eating disorders for your country. 

For self-help courses on body image and general peer support, please try Koko. 

For more resources, please visit our Counseling & Prevention Resources page for a list of services that may be able to help.

[kohakhearts]

its wip wednesday and i have nothing to share. just wanted to say ive written a non-zero amount of words this week, which hasn’t happened since mid-june at best. everyone say good job taylor (please)

[carrotzcake]

my family session went surprisingly well. i've gotten my drinking back under control and a friend gave me a couple of coupons for some meal delivery services which are helping me branch out more. It's also dare I say, fun(?!) to learn to cook beyond the basics I'm used to. it's helping me keep my fridge stocked too; I have a tendency to either have no food, or buy too much that then goes bad.

went on a second date last night which went super well☺️i'm also more casually seeing someone who's in a poly relationship; ultimately i see myself in a monogamous relationship, I'd like to get married and have a family but I'm almost 33 and beginning to rethink what that might look like. for the time being, i'm prioritizing myself, dating around, seeing what happens. i'm also leaning into fulfilling friendships and community involvement, which feels productive.

[whsprings]

I've decided life doesn't have to be perfect to be worth living

[terrablerequests]

Can I have a Hazel x Fem!reader who likes to break all her stuff? Like she makes them stuff to smash so she doesn't break anything actually important

CONGRATULATIONS

you're probably the first person on the internet to request OSFE x reader content! You also have nice taste. Here's your reward, little man!

HAZEL: f!reader likes to break shit

- you'd think a maker and breaker would be an awful match, it'd give any engineer a heart attack knowing you're in the area. Fortunately, hazel just isn't any turret engineer!

-Hazel also shares your love of needless destruction! I mean, one of her setups is literally all about destroying her own stuff.

-Building turrets, walls, and summoning in those weird floating crystals just to smash them becomes something of a stress reliever for the two of you. It's just plain ol' fun in both of your eyes! However it's quite a terrifying site from an outsider's perspective.

-Fixing them back up can be fun too, it gives the two of you something to work on together. Being a turret engineer for so long it's like second nature to her and she's more than eager to teach you all she knows. Of course it becomes a little hard to take in everything she's saying when she's so close to you, has her hands guiding yours over what need to be screwed in, leaning in to get that part to click in juuuust right, and... well let's just say productivity isn't as high when it's just the two of you.

-Sometimes she doesn't have build something just for you to break it, there's an odd amount of guns pointed at injured medics in the world. Like a weird amount of them. There's also those giant vats with monsters inside of them. I mean sure the consequences are dire afterwards but hey, they're filled with nickelodeon green slime! You can't just NOT crack them open!! Hazel isn't as thrilled with those..

-It may seem a little odd to everyone else but smashing stuff has become a love language in its own for the two of you! ...just don't let selicy or gunner catch on, they seem like the breaky-smashy type too...

(God bless you autumn, this may have been short but it was fun to write! The four requests I've got left aren't as fun to me but I'll get them down... eventually.)

[traumas-echo]

man that eating disorder wasn't lying.

that body CAN deteriorate

[supercantaloupe]

not to oklahomapost like i always do but if ur takeaway from the revival was "the queer subtext was neat but they didn't do enough with it"....listen to the osf production instead i guess?

[anachronistictrash]

I hate how I've been professionally dxed with most of the popular-to-fake disorders, because I feel like when I creep in here to complain that I'll be seen as an attention-seeking faker.

I actually really don't want attention thx, just screaming into the void.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for making my mom cry (in the hopes of continuing a years (?) long lie)

starting off: BIG SHINY ED TW

Context/Background:

• I’ve had an ED (OSFED) since I was 14

• I went to treatment (forced) as a teen. I hold zero anger over this by now and understand why my parents did it. I would have done the same.

• Both times I coasted until discharge, at which point I went back to ED behaviors, just more secretively.

• I’m now 22(F), living w my parents

—

The Lead Up to The Predicament:

• Relapsed age 21, and kept it secret

• My mother eventually noticed, and recommended treatment; I agreed, & got taken into IOP

• I’m still on my parents’ very good insurance, so treatment was covered pretty much entirely

• I did treatment with the same strategy I’ve used before: coasting until discharge, then keeping it secret. I have no intention of ever pursuing actual recovery, and do not believe it is possible. I don’t want to get rid of this problem, but I want it to be my problem only.

• Unfortunately, this means I essentially have to lie to everyone, because they won’t discharge you if you say “I’m doing this purely so I won’t run myself into the ground, and so my mom will leave me alone”. So I lied my ass off.

• I’m continuing to lie to my nutritionist, who recently approved me for “as-needed” appointments, and I kept putting off finding a therapist until my mom forgot and stopped asking about it, because I just don’t have the energy to continually lie to a therapist, and conversely, I don’t want to actually, honestly talk to a therapist.

—

The Predicament:

• Bill for $600 (part not covered by insurance) came from the treatment center

• Mom offered to pay it; I said no, I’ll pay for it

• Did this because I could not live with the guilt of my mom paying for treatment that she thinks actually put me on a path towards health, that I secretly used to lull her into a false sense of security

• She insists, and I insist back

• I pay it that night

• She finds out I paid it and breaks down crying because she thinks I did it because I assumed she couldn’t afford it and now she thinks she has failed me because I don’t think I can rely on my mother

• I try to explain that I’m an adult and it was my issue and my treatment and that I work full time and should be expected to pay my own medical copays

• This makes her feel worse and she expresses that my trying to pay my own way has been a pattern since I first got a job at 14, and that she should’ve asserted herself as a financial caregiver when she had the chance

• I freeze, because I don’t know how to explain what I really mean without admitting that I lied for months in an attempt to get people to stop worrying about an admittedly possibly-fatal illness

• I let her continue to cry

—

AITA FOR: Not explaining and just… letting her believe that?

What are these acronyms?

[narrator-navigator-storyteller]

I want to make a shoutout post for people with severe ADHD, since I rarely see actual severe ADHD symptoms talked about on here, and want to spread awareness of the actual debilitating effects of ADHD since it gets treated like little baby disorder so much.

So shoutout to pwADHD who:

Have chronic UTIs

Have issues getting to the bathroom in time/have wet themselves into adulthood

Have genuinely dirty rooms, not just disorganized

Have extremely poor personal hygiene (smell bad, unhealthy teeth, unkempt hair)

Have learning disabilities

Have intellectual disabilities

Have ASPD

Have OSFED from lack of hunger cues

Are genuinely rude in social situations due to lack of impulse control

Have RSD that feeds into paranoia disorders

Have RSD that has ruined friendships

Have social issues that have led to an inability to form friendships

Have severe anger issues

Have self-harming and excessively risky behaviours due to understimulation

Are suicidal

Have "8 year old boy" ADHD (get up at inappropriate times, climb furniture, are genuinely disruptive)

Are hyperactive or mixed type in general actually (especially those raised female who are told that women always have inattentive)

Can't drive

Can't work a job

Procrastinate to the point that you don't get anything done at all, not just do it last minute

Burnt out educationally far before it's 'relatable' to (elementary/middle school)

Were in affective learning/special education

Can't do higher education

Rely on other people in order to live life

Can't live alone

Can't mask their ADHD

Aren't just a 'quirky' person, but are visibly mentally ill

Have made their other mental illnesses worse because of ADHD

Have developed other mental illnesses because of ADHD

Have made their physical disabilities worse because of ADHD

Have developed physical disabilities because of ADHD

We need to accept that ADHD is not a funny lighthearted diagnosis, and is in fact a severe thing to deal with. Anti-ADHD ableism has gotten way too common here, and acting like moderate (and honestly mild) ADHD is severe even more so.

Feel free to add more but if you add mild traits or act like any of these are about autism/any other disorder instead of just accepting that ADHD is a severe and debilitating disorder on its own I will kill you with hammers.

[dark-nymph3t]

burgers and milkshakes have literally been proven to increase risks of diabetes, cancer, autoimmune diseases, obesity genes, fatty liver ETC but if it makes you feel better for having a bad diet you do you

I wasn’t gonna respond to this, but considering how you clearly missed the mark and didn’t realize that the post is pro recovery for eating disorders, I feel like I have too.

I’ve had an eating disorder since I was 11, OSFED to be exact. I have literally been so sick at one point that my spine was showing through baggy clothes and my friends would literally force feed me during lunch. If you want to criticize me for having a bad diet, go ahead, but criticize me for having an eating disorder and not taking care of my body, don’t do it by acting like I only eat burgers and milkshakes.

Also, burgers and milkshakes are major fear foods for many people with eating disorders. I am terrified of ice cream and have literally started bawling once when my dad tried to take me to a restaurant where they served milkshakes. You missed the entire point of the post.

You are allowed to enjoy things in life that previously made you terrified, you are allowed to enjoy things that yes, may not be the healthiest for you, but when you have an eating disorder relishing in those moments is one of the key parts of recovery.

Please, educate yourself, there’s a reason you’re on anon and not commenting from your actual account.

[machine-saint]

reading a paper that claims to prove that making a human-like AI is NP-hard and therefore computationally impossible; their proof appears to boil down to "reconstructing an arbitrary input distribution by sampling it is NP-hard", and concluding from that that full "human-like" AI is computationally infeasible

and like... as far as I can tell they literally never address

there are many problems that are NP-hard but have very good approximations (edit: in the cases that we actually care about)

this proof implies that humans can't be human-like either unless you assume that humans can magically solve NP-hard problems!

the problem they actually reduce from is so difficult humans couldn't do it either

[crowgvts]

sorry to get controversial on main but aside from the fact the statement "ed's are inherently fatphobic" is untrue because the ways in which they can develop and the reasons behind it are so incredibly complex (eg. there are literal genetic factors) the other major reason you're all fuckin wrong is because:

Binge eating disorder is an eating disorder

PICA is an eating disorder

ARFID is an eating disorder

Orthorexia is an eating disorder

Rumination disorder is an eating disorder

OSFED is an eating disorder

massive, sweeping statements like that not only show that you have no real idea of how this shit works, it also shows how little of a fuck you actually give about people who, may I remind you, have one of the deadliest mental illnesses.

mental health problems are more complex than the watered down shit you learnt about them in health class or whatever

[carrotzcake]

i had a really good therapy session today and coffee date, challenged myself by splitting a pastry andd made an everyplate meal (my friend gave me a coupon) without focusing too much on the nutritional info. some anxiety about it but it was tasty and felt good about trying something new! date was #3 with this person and it feels really promising. i haven't drank since thursday so fully detoxed, feeling more clearheaded, sleeping better, not urgey.

[thetrashthatsmilesback]

Idk who needs to hear this but the genetic and neurological factors behind eating disorders has been known for a while now so anyone who has an eating disorder is neurodivergent even if they miraculously don't have any comorbidities, and the fact that people outside the Ed community never spoke up about how mocking eds was a trend on tiktok for a good two years shows that many people who regularly talk about ableism actually don't care about ableism at all.

Like we could get into how OCD, autism, ADHD, and cluster B personality disorders are all heavily associated with eating disorders, but that's not necessary. Eating disorders themselves count as neurodivergence. But for some reason when people were making "go throw up" jokes on tiktok for two years straight all the accounts I followed which regularly called out ableism were fully silent. It was... Telling to say the least. Eating disorders are seen as okay to mock, especially those of us who purge, because we do it to ourselves right? It's just silly kids wanting to be skinny (not true, even in weight focused eating disorders weight is often not even close to what it's about and triggers to use Ed behaviors are often things like school difficulties, social rejection, abuse, etc) so mocking it is fine right?

And this has always been an issue in the nd community. I've seen people who speak up constantly about ableism use the term "delulu" as if people with psychotic spectrum disorders haven't been telling us to stop using that term since it got popularized. I've seen people who otherwise post about nd awareness suddenly tag something as "narcissistic abuse" as if people with NPD aren't more likely to be victims of abuse than purpetrators. I've known for a while that people who supposedly want to call out ableism don't acknowledge a lot of ableism that happens within their own community, but still. I feel like people don't even mention the fact that eating disorders are a form of neurodivergence. They're seen as something that you have to recover from and if you don't you're somehow in the wrong, when 1/3 of anorexics, and up to 1/2 of bulimics will continue to have symptoms of their disorder for the rest of their lives, and with research finding similar rates for OSFED disorders, ARFID, and BED. I've seen people on this app actually put in their bio "if you're not attempting recovery, don't follow" as if 1) that's any of your business and 2) eating disorders aren't a complex set of disorders primarily caused by the intersection of genetics, neurology, and society.

[melanirana]

Are you going to continue your mermaid au?

Did I ever stop?

But seriously,  I’m drowning in assignments and tests. This semester is cut in half but will still have to get just as many grades as in a full semester.  I got three more weeks to go and maybe then I have more time to actually work on shit.

OSF is not over and it won't be for a while.