#low key vent

[cyberr-v0id]

If I fail all my exams then at least I still have my wit and poetic genius.

[northstararia]

I wish I could live in Moominvalley instead of our world. People would actually like me and want to be nice to me. I won’t have to be alone or perfect all the time. I could be at peace for once. Idk I think about it a lot. I hope it not alone

[thetrashthatsmilesback]

Idk who needs to hear this but the genetic and neurological factors behind eating disorders has been known for a while now so anyone who has an eating disorder is neurodivergent even if they miraculously don't have any comorbidities, and the fact that people outside the Ed community never spoke up about how mocking eds was a trend on tiktok for a good two years shows that many people who regularly talk about ableism actually don't care about ableism at all.

Like we could get into how OCD, autism, ADHD, and cluster B personality disorders are all heavily associated with eating disorders, but that's not necessary. Eating disorders themselves count as neurodivergence. But for some reason when people were making "go throw up" jokes on tiktok for two years straight all the accounts I followed which regularly called out ableism were fully silent. It was... Telling to say the least. Eating disorders are seen as okay to mock, especially those of us who purge, because we do it to ourselves right? It's just silly kids wanting to be skinny (not true, even in weight focused eating disorders weight is often not even close to what it's about and triggers to use Ed behaviors are often things like school difficulties, social rejection, abuse, etc) so mocking it is fine right?

And this has always been an issue in the nd community. I've seen people who speak up constantly about ableism use the term "delulu" as if people with psychotic spectrum disorders haven't been telling us to stop using that term since it got popularized. I've seen people who otherwise post about nd awareness suddenly tag something as "narcissistic abuse" as if people with NPD aren't more likely to be victims of abuse than purpetrators. I've known for a while that people who supposedly want to call out ableism don't acknowledge a lot of ableism that happens within their own community, but still. I feel like people don't even mention the fact that eating disorders are a form of neurodivergence. They're seen as something that you have to recover from and if you don't you're somehow in the wrong, when 1/3 of anorexics, and up to 1/2 of bulimics will continue to have symptoms of their disorder for the rest of their lives, and with research finding similar rates for OSFED disorders, ARFID, and BED. I've seen people on this app actually put in their bio "if you're not attempting recovery, don't follow" as if 1) that's any of your business and 2) eating disorders aren't a complex set of disorders primarily caused by the intersection of genetics, neurology, and society.

[ari-writes-things]

can I just say how hard it is to call yourself a writer?

I saw this post asking if nobody was around to ever read your writing, would you still write? and like?? I very rarely show anybody my writing anyway, not because I don't want to share or because I don't enjoy the external validation from others, but because I am so terrified to be proud of it.

I call myself a writer and I very much am, but that word (at least in my mind) carries so much weight and the connotation of quality that I am immediately hesitant to share what I write because what if I let down those expectations? I am literally unable to say "here, want to read my writing? I'm really proud of it" even if I truly do feel pride in what I've created because I cannot handle the shame of not living up to someone's expectations of what a writer should be.

I have been writing since I was seven years old and I never intend to stop, but I feel like a fraud calling myself a writer.

I don't want people to think I'm good at writing just in case I'm not.

[brightgreendandelions]

How do you think it would feel to disappear into the void and never return (positive)?

i wouldn't have to worry about reading all my tumblr, watching all my youtube, chronicling all my slugcats, packing all my clothes, transing all my genders, writing all my code, listing all my anime, noeing all my cities, backing all my ups, sewing all my plushies, unloading all my chores, eating all my food, drinking all my tea, loving all my friends, taking all my meds, opening all my sources, charging all my phones, making all my beds, looping all my songs, hoarding all my data, reading my jojo, ...

but sometimes i enjoy these things

[ill-fitting-parts]

Bleghhhh... why does my brain jump from one extreme to another and either gives me absolutely no sense of self or identity OR slaps multiple of them out

Can I PLEASE have a break??? My head hurts so bad, the pressure is unbearable, I just want to be normal like others and get headaches from normal stuff ( ༎ຶ⁠‿⁠༎ຶ)

[somegurl8]

[chatlote]

Not a moment of rest.

[that-gothic-glitterball]

As a teenager this is something that I need to remind myself so much. That it’s not my fault that these people are being assholes and homophobes ask transphobes. It’s not my fault that they can’t handle anyone being different, and it’s not my fault that they decided to make a big deal out of something tiny, even if they try and make it seem like it was. They are immature rat bags and it is perfectly acceptable of me to have a mental break down in maths after I have finally snapped and asked that guy to stop harassing me, only to have him defend his actions and act like nothing has happened. It is not my fault

Idk what teenager needs to hear this but you're not being too sensitive. It is fucked up and unconscionable to deliberately antagonize and provoke people as a joke. When you're an adult, people who do that are called "fucking assholes" and nobody gets weird about you not wanting to hang out w/ them because they don't wanna hang out w/ them either.

[st-dionysus]

Beating every cisbian over the head with a copy of Stone Butch Blues and Sons of the Movement.

[cyberr-v0id]

I’m so tired, I can’t be dealing with this for much longer. I shouldn’t always have to be the one to reach out. Heck- this situation shouldn’t happen at all, let alone have to be resolved by the person who didn’t cause it. I shouldn’t have to be the bigger person. It’s not fair on me

[thereignwolf]

hey hi hello

here's your not so friendly reminder that there is NO "correct" way to be trans, non-binary, gender non-conforming, etc. there is no set of rules you need to follow to be the ✨p e r f e c t✨ enby. just because YOU may feel strongly one way about something, doesn't mean every single other gender non-conforming/non-binary/trans person has to feel the exact same. constantly bringing others down for not fitting into your exact, regimented, gender worldview is doing the EXACT opposite of supporting others.

k, stepping off my soapbox now

[curscival]

Cover piece loosely tied to the first chapter of my fanfic that released today!

[inkperch]

....was desperately looking to see if anyone else had picked up on the vibes between two female characters in something I just watched, and the only post that had was one of those wankers using everything and everyone they could find to shit on Chaggie for 'Having no tension', fuck the internet I hate it here-

[bathmob]

low quality rockets

[sanasanakun]

As someone who’s played all the COD games and loved the series despite its super obvious flaws, I really am curious how Activision will take the phenomenon around Ghost. Obviously, Ghost has always been popular amongst the COD fandom, but he’s reached a new massive, outside appeal. Specifically, his relationship with Soap is a very big part of that appeal. They’ve been shipped together for fucking years, but not to this extent. I guess what I’m wondering is like …would Activision actually do it? Would they make them boyfriends? Or at least like pine for each other?

I really struggle with knowing because on one hand I could see them doing it even if it’s still niche. On the other, they absolutely would never do that because it would alienate their dude bro fanbase. But like … I don’t fucking know lmao because it’s super plausible that Ghost and Soap could like each other romantically.

Like their interactions indicate a closeness that both don’t share with anyone else. And yeah sure, they could just be besties (which they currently canonically kind of are), or they could just be brothers in arms (which they also are). But there definitely is room for something there that reads as distinctively “not straight” if that makes sense? And I’m a fucking diehard GhostRoach shipper from like a billion years ago when the OG mw2 came out, so if I’m saying this then maybe it really is possible lmao

But really the truth probably just is I’m gay and I want to see myself in my silly little military men in my silly little military game because I’ve loved those little military men so much since I was like 10 😭