#actually no sometimes i am good but not with text
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
I have things to say but no words to explain and my talking skills are not enough can someone telepathy me right now. I need to share my pure thoughts directly.
#i love seeing what people think#and i love saying what i think#but i suck so hard at communication#actually no sometimes i am good but not with text#also language means a lot too sometimes i am better at explaining thing in my native lang and sometimes its only make sense in English#or it makes sense but changing language vhange the message of sentence thing i wanna say change meaning just a little nit#and i can't find a correct way to show my thoughts in that language#and sometimes things make sense only in my brain with my context and i first need you to learn my context than decipher my own thoughts#like i need someone to learn my language because i vant translate myself#soo i just talk a lot
1 note
·
View note
Text
been going a little bit insane about this sentence from Ace by Angela Chen for the past week
#replace this with any other type of significant relationship too#also! this book actually rules btw i really recommend it#i didnt read it when it first cane out bc i was like. well i am already pretty familiar with asexuality and not rly interested in 101 stuff#but it turns out it doesnt feel 101-y at all its a super awesome piece of queer theory and also chen has Good opinions#and not weird watered down ones that i am sometimes wary of in aspec communities (frankly especially ace ones)#i think maybe if more people approached asexuality the way chen does (including and maybe even especially ace people)#i would be more inclined to still ID as ace#but anyways!#aro#aromantic#<- tag selections that reflect how i personally engage with this quote#also#described in alt text#also also#j tag#:/#aro media
10K notes
·
View notes
Text
I actually think Dorian and Orym should fight more.
Remember when their slowly building tension over and entire episode (full of passive aggressive remarks and blame throwing) led to threats? And how after, Orym thanked Dorian for handing over the crown sadly because he knew Dorian would be mad at him? And Dorian couldn't even look at him because he was legitimately hurt, thinking Orym was disappointed in him for doing what he thought was right? That was peak.
The fact they went from that to their current closeness and trust is the best part of their entire dynamic. Their relationship was hard fought and still will be. They will fight for it because they respect and care for one another deeply, and their disagreements don't change that, only improve it.
#critical role#cr3#orym#dorian#dorym#text post#cr discourse#'dorian deserved that actually and is being stupid by agreeing with ludinus'#'orym was too mean and needs to be quiet about his trauma'#just say you don't understand their characters#or that they are characters#you don't have to agree with them. they can make decisions you wouldn't make and disagree with#its good tv regardless#dorian didnt deserve that and orym was too harsh#dorian needed to be reminded of the consequences of indulging those ideas and viewpoints and orym is tired of this discussion happening#these things can coexist#neither of them have the whole picture here. we can't judge them based off of what we as viewers know#dorian didn't see first hand what the ruby vanguard has done. only what the spider queen did so thats on his mind more than anything#orym didnt see first hand (nor hear many details) about opal and cyrus. only what the vanguard has been doing to them for months#let them bicker and argue#its the best part#only going near the discourse because i have been waiting years for more of this and bitches on twitter are complaining about it#and often from people who don't even like orym (or sometimes dorian). go back to ignoring them and let me enjoy this moment in peace#i know i am adding to the discourse but i needed to find other people who want more dorym relationship drama before we get more fluff
317 notes
·
View notes
Text
HANNIBAL (2013-2015) — SEASON ONE
Killing must feel good to God, too. He does it all the time, and are we not created in God's image? Depends on who you ask. God's terrific. He dropped a church roof on thirty-four of his worshipers last Wednesday night in Texas, while they sang a hymn. Did God feel good about that? He felt powerful.
{inspiration}
#hannibal#hannibaledit#l.gifs#flashing gif#will graham#no way am i tagging all the characters actually#magnum opus. if we're going by effort alone#some of the choices here are as ugly as hannibal's interior design but we move#:/ started off trying to make it pretty and it's dissolved into chaos#pls enjoy my visual clutter i spent hours&hours on it#jumping between serious creepy gifs & then making things objectively so silly#homage to s1 of my favourite silly show <3#small explanation: the typewriter text is what appears to be the situation (to the fbi). the gifs obviously show the truth that we know#so if ur thinking e.g. tobias budge did not kill franklyn. yes but thats what is believed by everyone but hannibal#idk if thats necessary to say#sometimes theres a dichotomy between the text and gif. sometimes not#so idk if it was clear#anyway#there we have it#good lord#im done#there are so many things i want to say abt insignificant details sjdbjhsb e.g. hannibal not being in the final few gifs is deliberate.#hes menacing in a ghostly background kind of way#the same way he is in s1#okokok im going to post thsi now my procrustination is getting ridiculous#pls if you see a mistake i would love to have it pointed out#so i can fix it early on#i am sure there is one#ANYWAY posting & logging off . this was hours and hours worth of work holy shit
372 notes
·
View notes
Text
Every time I try to write lately, I just can't get anywhere with it :/ I can string words together but they feel empty. Events happen, but what story are they even telling? There's no emotion, no depth, so substance at all. I just can't make anything that's about or says anything at all and idk why :/
#it's starting to get really frustrating#I've got 3 wips that are all different stuff that I keep coming back to and none of them are going anywhere#it's like there's no substance to any of it#the events feel soulless and empty#what am I even saying with anything that happens#'oh this story is about intimacy' where's the intimacy then bitch#like yeah they're touching but like what's intimate about it where's the emotions#goddamnit I just want to make something and I just can't#like maybe I could make something that's shit and soulless but I don't want that I want it to be good#and I keep trying and trying every week and I get nowhere with it and then I'm like :/ well fuck now I don't know what to do with myself#and then the bad feels get worse cause the thing that's supposed to make me feel better isn't working and I can't manage to actually do it#ffs#idk what to do but sometimes complaining helps so I'm trying that lmao#who knows maybe it'll help#shut up nerd#text#misc
17 notes
·
View notes
Note
I can't see how the writers still think Skystar's a good person. Like, twelve year old me liked him and thought he was interesting, but I was like twelve. And even I knew he was an irredeemable asshole after Moth Flight's Vision. If a twelve year old can figure this stuff out I have no idea what these grown ass writers were doing.
DOTC has a thesis, stated in The First Battle, that really explains everything.
"Fear and Greed" is just a fake-deep way to reinvent a Good and Evil dichotomy. Because Clear Sky's abuse comes from a place of fear, it means it's not malicious, unlike a "greedy" cat.
He can be "soothed," ergo, he's a fundamentally good person.
Post-First Battle, the books are focusing constantly on his feelings, how sad it makes him to not be trusted, how happy he is when people are on his side. All while he continues to screech at people who tell him what to do, manipulate and mistreat his son, and even still beats and mauls those who offend him.
But because it's "fear," that doesn't matter. That's a justification, an excuse. The writers don't seem to believe in good and bad actions as much as they do good and bad people. True 'evil' comes from a person who hurts others for the wrong reasons, like 'revenge' or malice.
It's abuse apologia. Plain and simple.
The truth is that abusers don't think of themselves as evil people, and everyone, even you and me, is capable of being toxic or abusive. Talk to those who have been abused and we'll tell you; we often stayed because we "saw the good," or even felt responsible for them. Abuse can be passed down through generations because the kids come to believe the way they were treated was normal and okay.
If you go through life thinking that abuse only comes from evil/greedy people, you won't see it when it happens right in front of you. Fundamental good and evil is childish. Abuse comes from fear all the time.
Abuse is about power and control. Fear of rejection, of losing someone, of pain, those are all very common motivators as the abuser tries to stop them from happening before they even begin. It doesn't MATTER that your abuser is in pain too, you NEVER "deserved" what they did in an attempt to break your legs so you wouldn't run.
But... we can all change. Even the worst of us. It's never too late to stop hurting others, move on to a better life, but some people never will. Skystar loves his power, and he keeps that power no matter how many times he misuses it.
He has no reason to change as long as his cruelty rewards him with status and authority.
But the writers are incapable of recognizing that, because for this entire arc, they were stuck in an absurd view of the world in terms of Fear and Greed. Abuse can be excused if he did it for the "right reason," and that makes him "fundamentally different" from the truly evil villains, Slash and One Eye.
Hopefully, it now makes more sense to you.
#I am completely sincere when I say that I am legitimately concerned for the mental health of these writers sometimes#It's a lot of words to say. Again. That evil is really really simple.#It feels good to get what you want.#Power gets you what you want-- Security. Assurance. Respect.#Everyone wants these things.#It's not about having a twisted and sadistic soul#I'm sure those exist out there. But they're so so rare#And you will get hurt if you need to believe that the only person it's okay to leave or distrust or hate is a literal monster#You can leave anyone who tries to control and hurt you actually!!#Even if they're in emotional pain and insist that they NEED YOU#You didn't deserve it! You never did! It's okay! They didn't need to be a monster. And you're not one for leaving either.#Or resenting them. Or recognizing that they can't be trusted.#Of course... well. Clear Sky DOES act like a monster in this text.#Gouging out people's eyes and slaughtering innocent women#But most of the time irl your abuser didn't like. Kill someone lmao#At some point the metaphor breaks down#BUT!!!#cw abuse#dotc hate#Clear Sky#Skystar#Anyway casting spell of I Love You on every abuse survivor who feels a connection here#bone babble
110 notes
·
View notes
Text
ah yes! the joys of executive dysfunction and something being Fundamentally Broken In Your Braincase!
#quick vent Look Away Nothing To See Here#i just needed to place my emotions somewhere before i really started to spiral#texts from cherished friends should not cause nausea-level anxiety! and yet!#here i am! running away from the ever-present miasma of guilt and stress!#you know a few months ago i was like 'im going to be better about responding im going to do better'#i Immediately started doing Worse!#i think i stressed myself out too much#pretty much every relationship i have ends up completely deteriorating due to my own insecurities and guilt and fucked up brain <3#ah yes and how could i forget the Commitment Issues and Emotional Block#mentally i am banging my head into a wall#but its fine Its Fine#i mean its not. its really not. but sometimes it seems like the harder i try the harder i fail#which is something i should be used to by now!#okay so it looks like i Am Indeed spiraling so#i am going to go... list some good things in this world and uhhh#well i dont have the car this weekend so cant go for a drive and some boba. um.#i need to organize my room table Yes that sounds distracting and falsely productive#not gonna tag this with anything actually.#love treating tumblr like my personal diary#ah yes its just me. my personal feelings. and the couple thousand people that follow me.#perhaps i will also buy something online with one of the gift cards i found the other day#buttons from michaels!!! i need buttons! i will go do that!#with the knowledge that i have unopened messages to respond to looming in the back of my mind like a noose! yippee yahoo!!!#gonna... turn of replies/rbs just this once since its just a Vent#i just needed to get it Out yk? not looking for anything other than relieving pressure on my brain#ok it looks like i cant turn of replies for individual posts#just... pretend you didnt see this for both our sakes <3#look away look away
117 notes
·
View notes
Text
...
#ugh. fuck me im so tired. im getting sucked back into that workaholic mindset and now my body hurts and my nerves are fying. but it feels#good to b productive. if only i didnt have to teach and could just work with data :-(#anyway. the last 2 weeks have been good in that i feel like im actually hitting my stride a bit#bc we're seeing cool things in our genomes and its gonna b really fun to explore. and i met with the terrifying#prof who is on my committee to pitch a project for a final in her class and it seems it went over well. it was kinda funny bc we were#meeting and she was like: so how would u tell which gene was lost 1st? the phytochrome or the genes that r triggered by activation? and i#was like: uhhhhh idk. and then my advisor walked by and she grabbed him and asked him the same question and he was like: idk we'll have to#figure it out. which made me feel way better abt not knowing lol. then my superior lab mate asked me a question abt taking confocal images#and i was actually able to figure out what her issue was. and my old advisor was asking me if i knew anyone to ask for using a pam on cyanos#and i was like: here is what i think my advisor would say and linked her a paper. then i asked my advisor and he said what i expected and#linked the paper that id already sent. so im like. ok. ok. maybe i actually sometimes do kno what im doing. sorta.#and then my old advisor said she was so proud of me. and i was like aw. its so funny bc my relationship is so different with my new advisor#hes great but its all very professional. with my old advisor i would text her after hours bc she was a workaholic like me and went on long#car rides and handed out Halloween candy with her. she was more hands on and doesnt have kids so work is her life. its just interesting#so things have been going well. but there arent enough hours in the day. and my committee meeting is in like 16 days. and i am afraid for#that but not as afraid as i was in april when i had a full on breakdown and canceled it the day before it was set to happen lol#itll b fine. i just have to work thru the weekend so i can get my preproposal done. and prey that the fucking splitstree download site will#start working bc i want to do gene networks dammit#unrelated
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
day 30/30 of 30 microfics in 30 days
kandreil because i didn’t get to write them together throughout the thirty days before now. a 50 word reminder to self that i can write a microfic whenever i want 🥰 because they’re fun 🥰 and i like them 🥰
KANDREIL • PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT
#all done!!!!!!!!!!!! ta-daaaaaa 🎉🎉🎉🎉#a fun fact is that the little canva template i used for this is the same i used for my actual birthday party invites kjkjkjkl#yes of course i made invites for my 30th#bring back party invites actually#fuck getting a text on whatsapp lol send me snail mail#anyway here it is! the final micro of 30 micros in 30 days#there are tons of pairings and fandoms i never got to#but i'm going to try and not forget i can just write a microfic whenever i fancy#it's hard sometimes but i remembered how good i am at these by like the 10th?#so it really is a muscle you gotta practice sometimes#aftg#kandreil#30 microfics in 30 days#[insert keyboard emoji here]
30 notes
·
View notes
Text
i really wish that people here on the 'accessibility is so so so important' website would figure out how to use alt text.
i know adding it is an additional barrier to posting, but i'm hard pressed to believe that 95% of people here are unable to ever clear that barrier. it's not that hard to add a brief description of the photo--imo anything is better than nothing, and for many pictures, brief is better than a ten-paragraph description.
i know for a long time tumblr was bad about supporting it, especially for photo posts, but they have pretty robust support since about when automattic took over, and it's a real fucking bummer to me that so few people have adopted it.
if you'd like to see alt text but you're not sure how:
on mobile: if an image has alt text, there's a little button that says alt in the lower left corner of the image. most do not.
on desktop: you can inspect image etc but tbh the modern web makes it a pain. xkit rewritten has a toggle that shows it underneath the image, though, which makes it very easy.
#welcome to tumblr#the website where we're all very good about talking the talk and less good at walking the walk#anyhow i'm sighted (tho impaired) but am very bad at image processing and sometimes use a screen reader for other reasons#and i actually rely on alt text a lot!#tho uh not so much here i guess#anyhow it's one of the few accessibility things literally baked into the internet#and it would be amazing if people started using it more
24 notes
·
View notes
Note
are you ok
i'm fine i'm safe sorry, remembered mommy </3
#for clarification mommy is why i am suffering#got triggered#nothing happened#i just suffer the painful memories sometimes#she literally texted me the other day like#''was i a good mother#you can tell me the truth''#and then “i don't remember ever hitting you” yeah i bet you don't but there was actual CPS reports you were that bad#but hey i don't remember what i do when i'm high off my ass too mom guess we're just the fuckin same
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
why do i feel like there’s some sort of veil between me and the rest of the world
#like i just feel like there’s this weird seperation#ppl all seem to have such full lives and be so connected with friends and stuff#but it feels like i can’t fully join in??#like i have friends and ppl i love and hobbies and whatever like i have a life#but sometimes it feels like i blinked one day and everyone else found their ppl and their super close knit#and i’m just like?? how do i cross this invisible curtain between me and everyone else#like sometimes i meet someone and we get along super well and then we just don’t hang out more#maybe bc i suck at texting ppl back#but i feel like nothing ever deepens#anyway#ignore me#today was a good day#apart from one thing lol#even on here like i love love love my mutuals but i lowkey feel like everyone’s closer with other ppl than with me??#i’m think i’m feeling a bit lonely bc i’ve been so busy lately i haven’t spent much time with anyone#and it feels like i just am missing out a lot#and i’m definitely someone who appreciates having alone time but i do actually like socialising and connecting with ppl#talking to ppl is one of my favourite things ever i think there are so many incredible ppl to find out more about and become friends with#nadiya.txt
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
I have so many photos I need to post. 15 years worth!!! I started posting them on my old tumblr's side blog but never finished and then I abandoned tumblr for years. but tbh I feel like posting my work doesn't benefit me and it's just more pointless work for me 😭 especially instagram and twitter where my posts get maybe 1 like from a follower if i'm lucky and that's it. why do I even bother 😭 no one is excited to see my work so it'd hard to motivate myself to actually share anything when it doesn't benefit me and when no one else is excited for or looking forward to it. sometimes I lose that "I made a thing I want to share it like a kid hanging their finger painting on the fridge" mentality 😅 even kids can get discouraged and give up sharing if you don't ooo and ahhh over their work. does that make sense?
#also can we talk about how horrible social media is?#i was told instagram is so easy. you get many quick likes and followers. ive SEEN new accounts get thousands kf followers and hundreds#of likes in a couple weeks. ive been on there for years and have 20 followers and get 1 like sometimes#new accounts with one post will get 1k followers and 300 likes in a week. i just dont get it lmao im so confused 🤣#and twitter is now pay to win. i only got maybe 5 likes per post before. now i get none at all. which is expected...#so why am i bothering!#at least on tumblr my art will get maybe 20 notes and my photography maybe 10. so it doesnt feel as pointless to share 😅#i really want to open a shop for my art and photography and stuff but with the lack of attention im afraid to#because its A LOT OF WORK and i hate wasting my time and energy and money for no reason 😭#my last shop i opened got a grand total of 0 sales in the 2 years i had it open LOL it took me months to set it up and print everything#artist struggles#is there anywhere actually good to post your work online? (besides tiktok. i refuse) most social media has become useless!!!#lee text#sorry for whining 😅 just questioning my entire existence and why i even bother to do anything
2 notes
·
View notes
Note
2 years ago i fucked up a friendship w a girl (that im pretty sure i was in love with). to this day i think of her and sometimes when i see her on the street i just wanna cry. i understand your plight very much.
yeahhh man im sorry to hear that!!! it genuinely fucking sucks and i would never wish this upon anyone. cuz like it makes you fully think about all the what ifs and i genuilnely dont think ill ever find someone like her again
#im not trying to sound dramatic im being so serious she was so fucking perfect for me#i geuss the difference is shes the one who broke up w me and i know i didnt do anything wrong#neither of us did#its just like fuck!!! you know?? like we could have been so much#serious relationships dont need to be longterm to be serious you know???#one of these days im going to get tipsy and then 'drunk' text her even though i fiully intend to text her#and then claim i was just drunk because im notl ying im just not telling the full truth#like i fully considered it last night but i knew it would be a bad idea and i know if i do it its just gonna fuck things up more#but im soooo tempted man#like i dont know what itll even do#i know inside my goal is to maybe convince her that its not our time to end but i know in reality#its just gonna make her feel guilty and push her away even more if i show her how much ic are abou ther#i just seriously wish i understood why she even did it#i also thought being back on campus would help and i mean it has for sure becuase ive had my friends to distract me#but the thing is im not enjoying anything. like im not being distracted im just being numbed ykwim#cuz the moment i leave my friends all i do is think about her#and even when im WITH my friends ill be in the moment w them and then 2 minutes later ill start zoning out thinking about her#like the worst part about this is i dont have any anger *against* her#maybe im angry about like the general situation but the anger isnt against her#and while being angry is its own kind of pain in a way it can be easier cuz at least then youre tempted to have a good time and show off#but when its like this where youre just sad at the situation like what am i actually gonna do except think about her#sorry anon im not trying to dump on you i just start ranting in the tags sometimes#sunny rambles#anon tag#asks
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
mspaint fanart of this fucked up xuppu plush i found on google
#i dragged my discord server into watching all of miraculous and god its jsut. such a show#the show is infinitely entertaining bc theres so much enjoyment i get laughing at how much of a mess it is#and theres still enough actual good stuff where its like yea im here for a reason#the jarring tonal shifts#the occasional janky animation#the infinite refusal to change the status quo too much (that is changing some this season but its still funny to me)#the show is clumsy. thats how id describe it.#i dont hate it. i fucking love it. i love it cuz its sometimes shit. i love it cuz it shows promise for a few seconds and then does a 180#anyways i got distracted. point is that in our server weve decided to roleplay.as the kwamis. as a bit#they dont really have personalities but they DO have a bunch of absolute beasts of plushies n stuff online for pfps#we cant stop laughing at the fuckign xuppu one. why he look like that. look at him.#im not gonna actually tag this as miraculous bc i dont want people to bash me for my takes here in the tags.#if u like the show thats epic more power to you#i just am infinitely fascinated by it#and i have a very low bar for what gets me to laugh when im with my friends . this show is unintentionally the funniest shit ever#art#text#xuppu
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
im lowkey so annoyed charles said he’d want to have a conversation w elon musk on that podcast. like i’m obvi not looking to charles as my main political source lol and i do believe he meant it in a completely unaware surface level ~tech billionaire entrepreneur~ kind of way bc he’s interested in those types of figures/that’s how he explained it on the pod but still sucks to hear. i don’t think this one-off hypothetical automatically means charles has bad politics i think he just prob lives in his celebrity bubble and doesn’t see all the shit musk stands for beyond his like business creds ig but still … he could’ve literally said anyone else
#esp considering charles is someone w such good pr otherwise#ig this is a good reminder that celebrities and normal ppl don’t exactly operate on the same frequency#and it was clearly a throwaway comment not intended for deep analysis (as I’m doing rn lol) but like when musk could directly impact policy#I kinda have to take it seriously#and yes it was filmed before the trump livestream but musk has been awful for years#ugh anyway#I love charles so much so it just stinks to hear this. esp bc the rest of the podcast was so good!!! m#(podcast was beyond the grid in case anyone actually reads these tags lmao)#idk if I should put this in the normal charles tag ig I will#I don’t wanna tag it as anti bc it’s not fully anti it’s more just … a reminder that I can’t idolize celebs#charles leclerc#f1#text#mine#the way I use tumblr as just my personal diary#like am I overreacting? probably 100% yes and I’ll prob forget about this in a week but sometimes u just gotta write it out u know
6 notes
·
View notes