#actually i think the only reason why i’m Wishing he’s paid is because i don’t have a whole lot of linkstones

[pinazee]

And down the stretch comes murder

I wanted to take this moment to highlight the adorable child actors they got- Liam James and Carlos McCullers II. They are so perfectly cast as Shawn and Gus and they do such an amazing job! Im so impressed by them 👏👏

The whole spitball incident really highlights the differences between Shawn and Gus’ ethics. Shawn feels guilty for thinking he got the wrong spitter and ruined Jimmys life while Gus actually did it and feels no remorse at all. Perhaps it’s because Jimmy tortured Gus more, but it’s also come up a few other times i believe, that Gus is not above revenge nor is always willing to do the right thing if it interferes with his safety or his own code of justice, whereas with Shawn it’s like he can’t rest until he’s made things right. This, in addition to the ways he looks out for people (helping Lassie solve a case without him knowing, helping juliet find some kids without getting paid, standing between Gus and a gun), I think is why i tend to be more drawn to Shawn. I love tender-hearted morally just characters. Im not saying he’s always riding the high horse (pun intended), simply that at the end of the day you know he’s going to do the right thing. Don’t get me wrong, i love a morally ambiguous character too, and if I’m honest Gus’s outlook is certainly more realistic, but if i had to pick a favorite, i want the reliably good and wholesome over the self-serving. Not that im saying Gus is selfish at all, but of the two Shawns more our hero, even compared to his own cop father. I think Juliet is the only one who comes closest to matching that above and beyond heroism. I think the only reason she’s a step below is because Shawn simply notices others more. Thats all. If Juliet had Shawns abilities she’d be just as on top of it as him, probably more so. Actually she might get overwhelmed by seeing it all and not being able to help everyone. I think it’d be really hard for her to ignore sometimes. Which, okay I’m going down a tangent, but do you think Shawn had to learn to shut it off sometimes or like, learn to walk away? Cause i imagine day to day Shawn’s seeing people dealing with grief, abuse, or pain and with as kind as he is, it must be hard for him to ignore. Like if you’ve ever seen Daredevil, I’m imagining a less dramatic version of that haha

Henry will take any opportunity to point out Shawns failings or try to make him feel less than. Shawn tells him he’s there for a case and instead of asking him about it, Henry goes right back into you never could be a good handicapper because you lack the patience and follow-through it takes to put the time in and research. Also, the line “i let him talk to me” just doesn’t sit right with me even if the guy did turn out to be a skeeve. This kind of stuff makes me think Shawn either learned how to respect people from his mother or refused to treat people like his father. Probably both, though i hate to give her credit for anything haha

Look at his smile when he sees Lassie feed the horse. He’s so warmly amused by him. I wasn’t a Shassie shipper originally (as i just didn’t ship ppl in ye olden days) but i think I am now. I see it guys, I get it haha

These scenes are what makes the episode for me! I love them! We get to see both Shawns interacting and how he utilizes his vast memory, taking a peak into his mind palace so to speak. Plus he literally answered that common question of if you could go back in time what would you tell your younger self? (“Think big!”) I know they never really intended for this to be like a deep scene (nor expected certain fans to overanalyze it haha) but i like how he approaches the kid version of himself with a certain degree of amusement. Like I imagine if i was seeing my young self I’d probably be rolling my eyes at my sheer stupidity, but Shawns a lot kinder to himself haha Also little Shawns line “I thought I’d be bald by 20” was fucking gold! I wish I had better words for why this works so well but all i have is that it does and its brilliant.

Nice try Psych, your Canada is showing ;)

Heres some completely irrelevant info. The difference between a dreamcicle and a creamcicle: both are orange flavored, but dreamsicles had an ice milk center while a creamsicle was ice cream. And dreamsicles are no longer made.

I like this addition to the background. Its so cute. (Sidenote: this screenshot makes it seem like Shawn is the babyfaced assassin)

P.S This is the second episode ive seen him hold this frog. That is all.

[hyunjinspark]

star lost with you | hyunjin au | part 14

synopsis: working in a quaint little art store, you’ve had the honor of meeting all kinds of people, but you’ve never met somebody like him.

there were many reasons hyunjin returned to his hometown; a getaway from the ephemeral and fast-paced life of the city, so he could fall in love with life again. he thought he was prepared for everything, to study art in the way that he’s always wanted to, but what he didn’t anticipate was meeting you. hwang hyunjin realises that sometimes, the best things in life happen unplanned. 

pairing: idol! hyunjin x artist! reader

genre: friends to lovers, so much angst, smut, fluff, set in the idolverse, mutual pining, unrequited love, forbidden romance, slowburn (!!!) soulmate au (kind of), star-crossed lovers

word count: 35K (🫠)

warnings: cursing, drinking, jealousy, mutual pining, sexual tension, intense making out, dirty talk, mature content, sub! hyunjin, references to fingering, mentions of the word cock, dom! hyunjin, handjob, grinding, dry humping, overthinking, references to anxiety and therapy, slight confrontation, opens with a flashback

a/n: thank you for being so patient with me, and this story! i worked a lot for this chapter, and its very pivotal to the rest of the story, in terms of hyun and yn. in fact almost 80% of this chapter is just them. i hope you love it. its very longg so please grab a blanket and snacks before sitting down to read it ;)

i recommend that you can listen to my star lost playlist here!

important: all works are fiction, and do not in any way represent the real personalities or real people, they exist only as faceclaims, and are fictional characters.

masterlist

summer of 2015.

“Do you know why those stars are called Cassiopeia?” 

The constellation was more visible than ever tonight — made up of five stars, it almost looked like a Queen sitting on her throne, in the sky.

It was a real question, because you had absolutely no idea why the constellations were named after Greek myths. You’d read about it, of course, within faded literature pages in middle school, but you’d never been interested in astronomy, so you hardly paid attention.

Staring up at it now, you wished you had.

“Hmm?” He asked, and you realised that he also hadn’t been paying attention, to you.

“Cassiopeia” You repeated, pointing your hand upwards, at the bright stars.

“I don’t speak French, babe”

“It’s Latin…” You told him, “What are you thinking of?”

The sand between your fingers was icky, but once you got used to it, it wasn’t all that bad. The waves rushing over you felt calm. The sea was warm this time of year, and the only thing you had looked forward to all summer was this moment, right here.

“I’m thinking…about how I’d do anything for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich right now” He replied, as if he’d been crafting his answer with perfection for ages, as if you hadn’t just asked him about the night sky, something completely unrelated. 

You turned your head, cheek pressing into the sand, “Really, Lix? We…just ate”

Felix sighed, still staring at the skies above, but making no effort to actually see anything, “I know, but…I’m still hungry”

It was tradition at this point, for you and Yongbok to run away to the beach, lie down in the sand, and talk about anything and everything in the world, or talk about nothing at all.

He was the one person in your life you didn’t mind silence with.

You rolled over to face him, as another wave washed over the two of you.

He squint at you, “What? Don’t look at me like that”

“Like what?” You laughed, elbows digging into the sand, “The carbonara Hana made was good, Lix. It was her first time making that too, don’t be so harsh on her”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was good, but I just don’t understand why we didn’t let Minho make dinner, as he does every time. You should stop being a kiss-ass to Hana”

“I am not a kiss-ass” You rolled your eyes.

He sighed, and sat up, making you sit up too, knees digging into the wet sand. You fixed the red strings of your bikini, tightening the knot at the sides.

He stopped you in the midst of that action, hand landing on your bare thigh, “Please? Just one sandwich?”

“Why can’t you make it yourself?” You frowned, looking up at him.

“Because…I don’t wanna get up” He hummed, lending his help to you. His fingers drifted upwards to your swimsuit and he tongued his cheek, “You don’t even know how to tie a knot properly. Let me”

You sat back, hands resting on your thighs as he took over. His fingers were cold, making you shiver, and Felix smiled at that.

“Did you even hear what I said?” You asked, annoyed.

He squinted, “About the French chick?”

You glanced back up at the sky, and the constellation that you had been talking of, “Greek. I was asking you if you know why the stars were named after her”

“Maybe she was really hot”

You rolled your eyes, “I’m sure she was”

He looked up at you, after tying the strings in a perfect knot, “Then they should name a star after you too, Y/N”

“Stop” You laughed, pushing his hand away, “You’re just saying that because you want me to get you food”

He smiled, shameless, “Yeah I am. Please?”

You glanced towards the cabin, a few hundred or so meters away. 

There were no lights on, since everybody else in the house had gone to sleep. Along the rest of the coast, other cabins dotted the beach, of all sizes and styles, lit up and occupied by families or groups of friends. It was a hot summer and nobody liked to stay in their stuffy city homes. 

But the coast was beautiful, and serene.

“Fine” You hummed, reaching over to pinch his cheek, “But you owe me, Lix”

His eyes were bright and you could never say no to him, so you gave in.

“I love you” He sang, as you walked over to the cabin, footsteps light in the sand. 

You took your time, relishing in the cool wind against your skin, occasionally turning back to smile at Yongbok. His eyes never left your figure until you reached the porch, making sure you got there safely, even though it was the safest place in the world.

Soon, this summer would end and you’d be back at school, missing this gritty sand and warm seawater. 

Yongbok’s shirt hung on the porch railing, next to your sweater and you slipped it on over your bikini, before stepping inside. The cabin tend to get cold, even on summer nights like this, so you hugged yourself to keep warm, as you walked through the foyer. 

Your friends were sleeping, and you had to be quiet. Treading carefully, the loud creak of the door still gave your presence away, wooden planks becoming wet with your footsteps.

You blindly fumbled in the dark, finding your way to the kitchen.

The television was on.

It was a little past three, and static noise buzzed through the little house, flashing colours lighting up the living room.

“Hello?” You asked, trying to see in the dark, “Minho?”

A blanket lay on the couch, but whoever had been watching TV had already left, since the remote lay buried in the pile of cushions. Frowning, you picked it up, turning it off.

“Just because Yongbok’s uncle pays for this doesn’t mean we can leave shit on…” You sighed, in the empty room, hoping Minho would hear you. The cabin was small, so even if he was upstairs, he’d be able to hear you. 

Now that the television was off, the entire room was engulfed in darkness again, and perhaps it would have been smarter to just leave it on so you could navigate. 

You weren’t scared of the dark, but you were easily startled. Moonlight filtered in through the windows, and peeking out, you could see Yongbok’s shape against the dark horizon.

In the blue light of your phone screen, you spotted your headphones on the coffee table. You plugged them in, switching to a playlist Yeonjun made as you slipped the headset over your wet hair.

It was silly, that you’d be making sandwiches for him at this time of the day, but you’d do just about anything in the world for Yongbok.

Humming along to your music, you stepped into the pantry, searching for the bread. For some reason, Minho had brought back four different kinds of bread from the local bakery earlier today, and you peered at the labels, wanting to pick one which wasn’t multigrain, since Yongbok hated that.

Whispers interrupted your search, and you stilled in your movements.

“Yongbok?” You turned around, but you couldn’t see anything or anyone in the dark.

It was probably your music that made you hear things, and you turned back to the shelf. 

“There you are” You smiled, spotting the Whole Wheat Bread.

You stepped into the kitchen, packet clasped tightly within your hands and that’s when you saw them.

You stilled in your movements.

The bread unceremoniously dropped from your hands, landing on the musty floor with a thump.

What the fuck?

Across the kitchen island, sat on the two bar stools, your best friend, Song Hana was kissing your other friend, Yeonjun.

No. They weren’t even just kissing. Hana was halfway in Yeonjun’s lap, and his tongue was so far down her throat that this obviously wasn’t the first time it happened. 

Your reaction of surprise wasn’t loud, but it might as well have been like dynamite inside the quiet house because it made them jump apart from each other, turning to face you.

His eyes were wide, as she noticed you in the doorway, “Oh my god. Y/N. Hey”

Hey?

So simple. Hey, I wasn’t just making out with our best friend.

You wish you could have just walked away without drawing attention to yourself, but now they were both staring at you.

You cleared your throat, thankful the dark concealed your shock, wondering what you could possibly say to diffuse the awkwardness, “Uh, I didn’t know anyone was awake in the house” 

“Yeah” Hana laughed, fumbling over her words, “I couldn’t sleep so…I came to get some dumplings”

Your gaze drifted to Yeonjun, and a faint pink coated his cheeks, but he wasn’t even looking at you. 

“Right... Jun?” You asked, making him finally glance up. Even in the darkness of the kitchen, you could prominently see the shape of his Adam’s Apple, as he swallowed, “Yeah, Y/N? Were you at the beach?”

You obviously saw them kiss, but they were hiding it, and there was nothing more to say.

“I…um, I just came to get some jelly, for Felix” You told them, “But…I’ll leave you two to it. Enjoy the...dumplings”

You immediately turned around, because you had to process this - whatever the hell you just saw, because your best friends were hooking up, and this was how you found out?

Hana had never expressed a romantic interest in him before this, what changed? Your friendship was too special, far too precious, to ruin with an impulsive mistake or decision like that.

You would ask her about it later, not tonight. 

You had to get back to the beach, to Felix. 

To something familiar, and comforting, and known and—

—A hand immediately grabbed your arm, stopping you in the corridor, in the midst of your thoughts.

You shouldn’t be surprised that it was him coming after you, instead of her.

Yeonjun was always the one wanting to fix everything, “Y/N, please wait”

He was always the one who never wanted to hurt you.

“Yeah?” You turned around, hoping you sounded as nonchalant as you wanted to, “You can keep the bread. I…I’ll just tell Yongbok we don’t have any”

“You’re hurt” 

Your eyebrows shot up, at his statement, “Hurt by what? The sandwiches weren’t even for me, I’m fine”

“You know that’s not what I’m talking about”

A laugh escaped you, “Then what?”

Yeonjun closed his eyes, “I wasn’t hiding it from you…I was going to tell you”

“It’s okay, I can pretend I didn’t see anything” You shot him a smile, trying to leave but he pulled you back. You stumbled towards him in the dark corridor, wondering where Hana was, if she was listening to this, and what she must be thinking.

“Jun…” You laughed, another forced chuckle.

A flash of regret painted his eyes, “I promise, I was going to tell you”

It was cold, and you were confused, but Yeonjun’s grip was warm, and understanding.

He didn’t need to explain himself.

You were…just surprised, a whirlwind of thoughts running through your head of everything that could possibly go wrong after tonight, and wondering if you really knew your friends as well as you thought you did. They’d been hooking up all this time, and you never noticed, and you never picked up on any hints?

You were more disappointed in yourself than anything.

He continued speaking, “I was going to tell you in the morning, I didn’t know you’re still awake, Y/N”

“I just didn’t expect that. Does anybody else know about you?”

He shook his head, “There isn’t an us”

You swallowed, “I mean, it’s fine if there is. It’s just…kind of something I have to get used to. How long have you been-”

Yeonjun grimaced, “No, you don’t understand. That was the first time it ever happened, Y/N”

Your voice fell, “What?”

“You just …walked in on our first kiss” He explained, “We haven’t ever done that before. That’s what I was trying to tell you. It just happened”

“But…” You squeezed your eyes shut, “What? I don’t understand. Are you…two tipsy or something?”

Yeonjun laughed, “I wish, but no. We’re...completely sober. Sorry you had to see that”

Your voice softened, tension falling from your shoulders, “You don’t have to apologise. I just didn’t expect...”

He nodded, a chuckle escaping him, “Yeah. You know that I’ve liked her for years”

You crossed your arms, hugging yourself, “Yeah…I just, I had no idea she liked you back”

He laughed, “I didn’t either, but she said that she always wanted to kiss me too”

“That’s good” You told him.

He lowered his voice, “Y/N. There’s something else. She said she’s in love with me”

Your eyes shot open, “What? In…love with you?”

He nodded, a smile on his lips, “I know. It was hard for me to believe too. The girl of my...fucking dreams just said that to me, like it took no effort. I didn’t think that stuff happened in real life”

This changed everything.

Yeonjun was only sixteen, and he’d found the love of his life, and you were so happy for him.

Your eyes lit up, “Did she kiss you first?”

He nodded, his lips still had traces of Hana’s lipgloss on it, “Yeah. She did”

“Fuck, that’s...really cool” You stared at the floor, trying to process it, “I was just taken aback, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to freak out or anything”

He shook his head, “No, I completely understand” 

Just then, Hana stepped out from the kitchen, footsteps timid, hands hugging herself as she saw you, “Hey”

“Hey”

The only light in the corridor was from the moon, and it illuminated their silhouettes beautifully.

They hadn’t even got together yet but you could imagine them being perfect together.

“I’m sorry you had to find out like that” She bit her lip, “We were going to talk to you tomorrow. I’d never keep something like that from you”

Yeonjun glanced at her, eyes crinkling, “I told her”

She looked up at him, mouth parted, “You did?”

The way they were looking at each other made it obvious. This wasn’t just a temporary, impulsive crush. Was it so easy to find the love of your life?

“I’m…gonna go up to bed though” She squeaked, and Yeonjun nodded.

She turned to you, “Is it okay if we switch places? I wanted to stay with him tonight. You could…stay with Minho, or Felix?”

“You’re kicking me out of our room?” You joked.

Hana immediately seemed guilty, “Sorry. I can move your things for you”

“It’s okay” You nodded, even though you had far too many things and art supplies for Hana to even attempt to move, and you could never fall asleep in Felix’s bed, but they were in love and that was the craziest thing in the world, so those technicalities didn’t matter right now, and you’d make do.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to move my stuff just for tonight. I can share Lix’s comforter” You smiled at her.

Hana walked away, and you were left alone with Yeonjun.

His gaze trailed to the kitchen, “Did you want something…from in there?”

You remembered the reason you’d been here in the first place, “Felix…he wanted-”

“Peanut butter and jelly?” He finished your sentence, “It’s almost four in the morning”

“Yeah, you know how he is” You laughed.

He sighed, shoulders sinking, as realisation sank in, “Sorry”

For what?

He had nothing to be sorry for.

Guilt overcome you, because you’d walked in on his first kiss, essentially ruining it and now he was saying sorry to you.

You frowned, reaching to grab his hand, “For what? I’m really happy for you, Yeonjun. I’m sorry I ruined your first kiss”

“Y/N-”

“I should be the one apologising. I know I was surprised at first, but you know that you deserve the best? I…know how long you’ve liked her, and I’m really glad she feels the same way. Why are you apologising for that?”

Yeonjun was looking at you in amusement, and he reached ahead to tuck a wet strand of your hair back, “You’re really special, you know that right?”

“What?” You frowned, “Why?”

“I was apologising to you just because…me and Hana finished all the jelly”

»»————-

“The jelly is gone”

Felix turned to you, quirking an eyebrow, “What does that even mean?”

You settled back into the sand, still in your sweater, curling your legs up, “It means…the jam is over. They finished it” 

“Who?” His voice raised, in pointed annoyance, and surprise.

“Yeonjun, and Hana”

Felix sighed, leaning back on his palms, “Why were they eating jelly at three am?”

“I walked in on them kissing” You blurted.

“What?”

“I just…I saw them, inside, kissing”

“Wait, what?” He shifted on his knees, towards you, “Who? Hana and him?”

You glanced at him, “Yeah, who else?”

A variety of emotions passed Felix’s face, and perhaps you weren’t the only one having trouble processing this. They would be perfect for each other, but what if they were not?

You buried your hands in your sleeves, watching the moonlight bounce off the high tide.

There was silence between you, the only sound of the ocean waves breaking at the surface. 

You had been excited for them, but now that you truly thought about it...a worry festered within you.

“I didn’t know Hana liked him back” He spoke.

“They’re probably gonna date, right?”

“I don’t know” He shrugged, “They might”

You traced a heart in the sand, “I’m happy for them”

He tilt his head, “Yeah, sure, you sound real happy, Y/N”

You squeezed your eyes shut, feeling crazy for even thinking all of this but you could tell Yongbok anything so you did, “I am. I’m just worried”

“About?”

You felt like a child, but you had a tendency to imagine the worst case scenarios, “What if they stop hanging out with us?”

Felix’s eyes softened, “Babe…”

Your voice shot up, “Don’t look at me like that. I’ve seen it happen. What if they break up? Everything’s going to go to shit then. It’s a bad idea to date within your friend group, isn’t it? This could be the downfall of everything”

Felix sighed, shifting closer to you, “Nothing is going to happen”

“You don’t know that” Your voice now broke, and you felt stupid for worrying when you should be happy for them, “I don’t want to lose them…or you. You guys…are the best thing in my life”

“Babe, they haven’t even started dating yet” He chuckled, hand reaching to your chin, “Calm down”

You erased the heart you’d drawn, “Yeah. You probably think I sound dumb as fuck”

“I’d never think that about you” He smiled, “Your concerns are very valid…but I don’t want you to be upset about something that may never even happen”

You sighed, and maybe spending so much time around Felix had made you as dramatic as him, “But what if we have to choose? I don’t want any of them to get hurt”

“Why would we ever have to choose?”

“I don’t know. Like…pick a side between them, if they fight. You know that I can’t choose, I love Yeonjun as much as I love Hana-”

Felix laughed, “God. I love you” 

“Don’t laugh at me” You frowned.

“I’m not laughing at you, babe” He smiled, “I just think you’re…making yourself upset for no reason. You love doing that”

You looked up at him, “Lix…”

His voice softened, against the harsh ocean waves, “Nothing is going to happen. Even if it does, you’re not gonna lose us. I’m always going to be here, you know that, right?”

You grabbed his hand, pulling him closer, “What about…when you get a girlfriend?”

Felix laughed, “I doubt that’s going to happen soon, but if I ever have to choose between my girlfriend and you…I’m picking you. It’s not even a question”

A smile made its way onto your face, “Thank you. I would do the same”

The edge of his lip turned up into a grin, “I know you would”

Staring at Felix now, you felt the calm return.

The ocean was beautiful again, the sky was vast, the stars endless, and you felt at ease.

Things would perhaps forever change tonight, your best friends were in love with each other, but maybe everything else would still be the same.

“It’s a good thing, right Lix?” You asked, squeezing his hands so that your nails dug into his soft palms.

He tilt his head, “What is?”

“Love. Them…being in love? It’s a good thing” Your words were low, because you didn’t even really know what you were asking.

“Of course it’s a good thing, but it’s not just about their love. It’s about ours too”

You were confused, “Ours?”

His eyes swirled with intensity, and he swallowed, “Ours, like all of us. You, me…Minho, and them”

“Right”

“What constellation were you telling me about earlier?”

“Cassiopeia?” You questioned.

“Hmm. That” He crawled over to you, “Which one is it?”

You pointed him in the right direction, just over the horizon, where it was visible, “The five stars, it kind of looks like a W”

“Right, and she was some hot Greek chick, right?”

You laughed, “Yeah. She was”

He wrapped an arm around you, pulling you close, “Well, she...died like billions of years ago, but she’s still here in the stars, isn’t she?”

“What are you trying to say?”

Felix turned to smile at you, “We’re just like her. The five of us. Five stars. That can’t be a coincidence, can it? We’re not going anywhere, okay?”

Your eyes widened at the sweet metaphor. Yongbok wasn’t one for romance, or anything of the sort, but you knew he meant his words.

He believed them.

And if he did, so would you.

“The five stars” You smiled, feeling your calm return, “Immortal”

He laughed, “Yeah. So don’t worry about us. You need to have more faith in us, Y/N. Things don’t just fall apart so easily, they won’t” 

“I know” You laughed, “I guess it’s kind of crazy. They found love so simply”

“You jealous?” He nudged you.

You rolled your eyes, “I wouldn’t even know what to do with love once I found it. All I need right now…is a job this summer, something to do, so I don’t sit at home and waste my youth”

He laughed, “Right, there’s the Y/N I know, only in love with the craft. I’m sure there’ll be a place in town you can work at this summer. Maybe a café , so you can get me free pastries every day”

“Oh. I almost forgot. Are you still hungry?”

“Starving” 

“I got you the sandwiches” You reached behind you for the Tupperware container you’d brought out of the beach house.

His eyebrows knitted together, as he stared at the box, “I thought you said the jelly was gone”

You lift the plastic lid, “It was but I crushed up some fruits, and I read online that if you add honey, it tastes just like jam…that’s why it kind of took me longer in there”

Felix doubled over, laughing loudly, “Oh my god. You did that for me at four fucking am?”

“It may not taste the best, but you better enjoy it” You mumbled, shoving the container into his arms.

“I know I will” He smiled, “And don’t worry about them, okay? No matter what happens, you always have me”

“Thank you, Lix. I know"

»»————-

summer now.

It had been years since you’d made each other that promise. 

Tonight, it felt futile, as you stared at the myriad of overwhelming text messages he had sent you. You had texted him back, telling him that you weren’t home, but he hadn’t replied since then.

“More beer?” 

You looked up, to see Yeonjun stood with another bottle in his hand, a cranberry extract he’d brought straight from his freezer. 

You hated beer, but you needed it tonight, so you grabbed it from him. It surprisingly didn’t taste horrible, so you savoured the fruity flavour in your mouth.

“What did you say to him?” He asked, sitting down next to you. 

“I told Felix I’m not home…” You spoke, “I asked him if we could talk tomorrow instead? I hope he understands”

“I mean, to Hyunjin” Yeonjun cleared his throat, “You were about to go over to his place, right?”

You glanced up at him, chest wrenching.

Sinking into the cushion, you stared at your phone, “I told him I can’t come either. He…didn’t question it. He probably was expecting me to cancel anyway”

Yeonjun needed you right now, and you couldn’t just abandon him— no matter how much you wanted Hyunjin, no matter how fucking horny you felt after that phone call. 

Your legs still felt weak, your heart was still pounding impossibly hard, and your underwear was soaked, but that wasn’t important right now. 

Your needs could be saved for another day.

He would understand. Hyunjin would still be here tomorrow, and the day after that, and you could meet him then.

“You really don’t need to stay with me” He spoke, “I feel like an asshole keeping you here”

“Yeonjun. You were crying, at three in the morning. I’m not leaving you alone”

He sighed, taking another sip of the cranberry beer, “Did you tell him why…? I don’t want Hyunjin to hate me”

“And why would Hyunjin ever hate you?” You turned to him, confused. Yeonjun hadn’t done anything wrong.

His eyes were still glossy, fresh tears dried on his face, and you hated the sight of it. He wasn’t an easy crier. In fact, in all your life that you’d known him…you could count the number of times you’d seen him so upset on one hand.

He licked his lips, swallowing, “Because I always keep coming between the two of you”

“Shut up” You scoffed, shoving his shoulder, “You know that’s not true”

He was still serious, despite the fact that you didn’t blame him at all, “Isn’t it? You were literally on your way to see him”

“I can see him tomorrow” You shrugged, trying to maintain a semblance of indifference and nonchalance, convincing yourself that it wasn’t that important. After all, it would be stupid to acknowledge how truly dependent you’d become on Hyunjin for your happiness. 

It wasn’t right, and even though seeing him right now felt urgent to your heart, to your body, you would still live another day and the world wouldn’t end if you didn’t meet him right this moment.

“I guess I don’t need to ask why you were on your way to him at three in the morning” He added, a teasing evident in his tone. You looked over to him, the emerging smile on his face and if teasing you was going to make him feel better, then you’d indulge him in it.

You laughed, embarrassed at how you’d been feeling like a fucking horny teenager, “You know Jun…any other day you would be very wrong, but tonight, I have to say it is exactly what you think”

“I thought you two weren’t going to be anything” Yeonjun hummed, stating the obvious fact that you were carefully trying to circumvent.

“We aren’t. It doesn’t have to mean anything” You tongued your cheek, still trying to wrap your head around what just happened. 

It started out as just a simple phone call. 

How did it escalate to that? 

“Right. I’m sure having sex with Hyunjin won’t mean anything to you at all” Yeonjun rolled his eyes, “Sounds just like you”

You looked over at him, “Just because you’re sad doesn’t mean you can call me out like that”

He laughed, leaning closer, “I’m just saying. He’ll probably be a million times better than the boys you’ve been with. Are you even prepared for that?”

You narrowed your eyes at him, heart jumping at his implication, “You’re supposed to be talking me out of this, not give me more reasons to want to jump him” 

Yeonjun laughed louder, “Man. You should enjoy this feeling, while it’s at its peak”

“What feeling?”

“That feeling, you know…” He trailed off, trying to find the right words, “When you’re falling for someone…and you’re fucking crazy about them, about every little thing they do? I remember, in the beginning, I used to have heart palpitations every time I saw Hana braid her goddamn hair, or something because she looked so adorable”

“What?” You let out a giggle, “I didn’t know you care about stuff like that”

Yeonjun smiled, “I was into everything that was about her, or even remotely related to her. I guess I was obsessed, but I don’t think anything in the universe can top that feeling”

You nodded, and you wondered if you’d ever stop feeling that way about Hyunjin. 

It had been months you’d known him, years since you’d first seen him, and your heart still went berserk at the mere thought, “Sometimes when I’m talking to him, it…feels like I have tunnel vision. I can’t see or comprehend anything except him”

“I know what you mean” He smiled.

You swallowed, remembering the reason for Yeonjun’s tears, “I’m sorry…about you and Hana”

“Yeah. I’m sorry too”

You reached over, to grab his hand, “And I’m sorry your heart is broken, and I wish I can take that pain away”

Yeonjun’s smile was sad, in return, “Me too…”

The couch cushions were frayed at the edges, because he hadn’t lived here in a while, and you fiddled with the corners to distract yourself from everything, from his broken heart, from your pining one.

“Did he say anything? Hyunjin?”

You peeked into your phone, to read the new texts, “He said, I got a call from Chan too. I hope Yeonjun feels better”

“Oh”

“Yup” Your fingers wrapped around the ice-cold beer again, and you took a swig, hoping the liquid would be enough to calm the fire in your heart. 

“It’s from the 7/11 behind Aera’s” Yeonjun explained, as if he’d read your mind, “You like it?”

“I do” You swallowed, refreshing your phone to see if Felix had said anything yet.

Yeonjun was silent, and he sat like that for a minute, staring into the dark corners of his living room, until he spoke, “Earlier today, I was thinking of the summer me and Hana got together”

“I was thinking about that summer too” You mumbled, “Can you believe it was almost…six years ago?”

“Six years?” He laughed, “That’s insane”

“It is. It feels like yesterday”

“I told her I loved her that summer for the first time… and six fucking years later, it’s not enough. You’d think the person you love for six years, you’d stay with them forever”

“I know...” You realised.

“What did he say…when you told him you can’t come? Felix?”

Perhaps, on another day, you would find it funny that Yeonjun had to keep clarifying which boy he was referring to, as if you had a carousel of boys in your life to keep you busy.

You sucked in a breath, “He didn’t say anything. I just...don’t understand what happened between us. One day we were fine, the next he hated my guts. I can’t even remember the last time I talked to him, my own best friend”

“The only thing between you and Felix…is Felix himself. It’s not your fault”

You laughed, realising the situation, “I’m sorry, this is so…typical of me. I’m supposed to be comforting you, not the other way around”

“That goes both ways” He hummed, and you looked over at him. 

He looked exhausted, sat with his legs curled, dressed in silly panda pajamas. It remind you of high school, when you used to study together; you would help him with literature so he could help you survive math. 

You used to sit right on this very couch, frustrated with the books, wishing everything in life was as easy as painting.

Even though as of late, you’d contemplated why everything seemed to be against you, you realised how blessed you were to know him.

He looked so different from the boy you’d grown up with, yet still somehow the same. 

Yeonjun was only twenty-two, but he’d just lost the love of his life, and you could see that in his gaze.

It resembled yours, the night you lost the apprenticeship.

Maybe that was an insensitive comparison. After all, a lover couldn’t ever compare to a temporary two-year art mentorship, could it?

Yet, your craft was the one thing in your life that you know you’d have, even after he left. That would still be the same.

Yeonjun had the hint of a smile on his face as he watched you finish the beer, and he was so handsome when he smiled, but…the crinkles in his eyes were strained, forced. 

He was only smiling so you wouldn’t worry about him. 

“Why do you we put ourselves through this?” You blurted, the effects of the beer settling in.

He tilt his head, “Through what? Feelings?”

You chuckled, staring at him and the spots that dotted his cheek, “Yeah. Feelings”

“At least we have each other” He laughed, “I’m really glad you exist, Y/N”

You wanted to stop moping, and to just appreciate what you had. 

You shifted closer to him, so that your bodies would touch, and you wouldn’t both be alone right now, “I’m glad you exist too, Jun”

He immediately wrapped his arm around you, pulling you into him.

It was always better to be alone together.

The television was right in front of you, and the shelves framing it were stocked with old VCRs, and tapes and movies.

“Remember when there were five of us on this couch…and there was absolutely no space for anyone, but we would watch Say Anything over and over again?” You laughed, thinking back to all the sleepovers. 

You’d spent so much of your childhood here, in this room as Yeonjun’s mum baked you treats. Tonight seemed to be a night of remembering, and of nostalgia, and your mind felt clearer than it had in hours. 

Maybe it was Yeonjun’s arm around you, maybe it was the memory of Hyunjin’s voice in your head, or maybe it was the fact that Felix had finally reached out to talk.

You wonder what he had to say, but regardless, that was a problem the you-from-tomorrow would worry about.

You-of-tonight would just let this night be, and not try to make of it more than it was.

“Do you wanna watch it?”

You glanced at him, “Just the two of us?”

He nodded, “Yeah”

It was well past three am, and starting a movie right now would mean that you both wouldn’t get any sleep, but that was okay, and some sleepless nights were worth it. 

You had work in the morning, but Yeonjun wasn’t here for long so you had to make the most of those moments. This might be exactly what he needed, to feel better. 

“All right” You agreed, “Let’s watch it”

He got off the couch, stretching his lanky panda-pajama legs out. He wandered over to his cabinet, filtering through the box of CDs. You hadn’t used those in forever, far too used to the Netflix you shared with Yongbok, but perhaps bringing everything back to as it was, is what would make everything better.

“What do you think he wanted to talk to me about?” You wondered out loud, tracing the rim of your new beer bottle.

Yeonjun was sat on his knees as he searched for the movie, “Honestly?”

“Yeah”

He stared off into space, hands paused in his work, “Felix…would do anything for you, so I wouldn’t be surprised if he was trying to apologise now”

You nodded, taking another sip of the cheap cranberry-extract beverage.

“I made a promise to him, when we were fifteen… that I wouldn’t let anything come in between us. Do you think he blames me for what’s happening to us?”

Yeonjun glanced at you, soft gaze, before turning back to the wooden box, “He could never blame you for anything, Y/N”

You sighed, “Yeah”

“Do you need help?” You realised, as Yeonjun frowned.

“Could you check the other box?” 

You nodded, joining him on the wool carpet, rummaging through the box his sister had labelled.

“I swear, Yuqi needs to have a better organisation system in place” He mumbled.

“I miss her” You laughed, “How is everything with her?”

“She’s actually visiting soon, especially when I told her I was back in Daejon for a while” He smiled, “She’s almost done with her studies”

“That’s crazy” You laughed, “Is she gonna work in Busan too or will she move back here?”

Yeonjun hummed, “You can ask her all of that when she comes. I really do not want to discuss my sister right now”

You laughed, flitting through the various discs.

“Found it!” You declared, bringing out the DVD and handing it to him, “Will it still work?”

“I have faith it will” He got up on his knees, inserting it into the player, “Does Felix know you’re at my place?”

You shook your head, “He would freak”

He seemed to be pondering over it, “You could…call him here”

You blanked, “What? You…two haven’t talked in months. I don’t think he’d come here, even if I called him”

“Say Anything was his favourite film. Tell him we’re watching that”

You laughed, because the idea was so ridiculous, “You think Felix would put aside all of his animosity towards you…because we’re watching his favourite movie?”

Yeonjun nodded, “It sounds exactly like him”

You chuckled, “Yeah… you’re right”

You sent him a text.

im watching say anything…

If you wanna come?

felix:

i thought you said you’re not home 

you:

im not

im with yeonjun 

we’re gonna watch it together

felix:

you’re at yeonjun’s house??

you:

yeah 

we can talk about whatever it is you wanted to discuss here

felix:

sorry yn

im gonna pass

you:

seriously?

im trying here lix

felix:

trying what exactly?

you:

i thought we agreed not to let anything get in between us

or do you not remember that summer?

felix:

out of the two of us, i don’t think im the one that doesn’t remember that summer

ill see you later yn

you:

sometimes youre being impossible and i don’t know what you want

felix:

maybe it’s better you don’t

“Any luck?” Yeonjun asked, and you glanced up at him, disappointed.

“Nope”

He let out a sigh, taking a seat back onto the couch, and you joined him. The disc player made a lot of noise as it started up, and you feared it may not work from years of no use, but the screen lit up. 

Perhaps the reason you liked this movie was because it was so simple.

It was about an impossible love, made possible, against all odds.

You settled into Yeonjun’s shoulder as it started.

It didn't feel the same without them. There were silly parts that Felix would always laugh at, jokes that weren’t even funny, and Hana would always be pointing out the inaccuracies in the movie, to Minho’s joy.

It wasn’t the same.

Everything had changed.

Would things be different today, if you’d thought with your head instead of your heart?

Or would everything still be the same?

“Do you believe in fate?”

He glanced at you, new bottle of beer balanced in his lap, that he’d took from the icebox near his feet, “Hmm?”

It felt sad, just the two of you, drinking away, at what should be the peak of your lives.

“You know…the notion that there’s a path our lives are supposed to be on, and that every choice or decision we make just takes us there”

“I don’t know, Y/N. Doesn’t that mean we have no free will? That everything is already chosen for us?”

“I guess” You shrugged, reaching for the bottle between his thighs. He let you, and you brought it up to take another sip. 

“What? Do you think it’s fate we broke up?” He laughed, “Me and her?”

You shrugged, “No, I guess I’m just thinking if I made the right choices this summer”

“What do you mean?” He turned to you, seemingly having lost interest in watching the movie anymore.

You picked at the fabric of the couch, “I loved how things used to be. Still, I was fighting it for the longest time because I so badly wanted everything to change too. I wanted to move out. I wanted Felix to support that. I wanted Hana to not be heartbroken anymore. I wanted us all to…stay in touch, no matter what, but now I wonder if wanting all of that is futile. I can’t have all of it. Isn’t that too greedy of me?”

“Y/N…” Yeonjun spoke, “It’s okay to hold on to the things we love, even if you want your life to change. You shouldn’t feel guilty for wishing that”

You bit your lip, “Because now I really wish Lix were here…I made a promise to him that I’d never let anything come in between us”

“You were fifteen. I made a lot of promises to Hana too, which obviously aren’t true anymore… but that doesn’t mean I was lying when I made them. People change, and priorities change. It’s not set in stone”

You nodded, “I guess promises when made, are just hope that even if everything in the world changes, you’ll still hold on to that person”

“Yeah”

“Tonight at the pool, before the dinner party, Hyunjin said that he would finally tell me what was going on, with Jisung, with the media, and why he’s been so stressed the last couple of week. I wanted to ask him so many tim-”

Yeonjun turned to you, “Did you just say Jisung?”

“Yeah. Why?” 

“Um. Nothing. I just…heard about him…on the news”

You sat up at those words, turning to face him, “What did you hear?”

He sighed, “You really want me to tell you? It might be better if Hyunjin does. I don’t know the whole extent of things”

A wave of worry washed over you. Was the situation really so bad that Yeonjun, a person who didn’t even keep up with such news, had already heard about it?

You settled back down, because there was no point stressing over it now, “I’ll talk to him tomorrow, first thing. I hope Jisung is okay”

“How is his band anyway?”

“You haven’t heard their music yet?”

He shrugged, “On the radio, a couple of times” 

“What? They play his band on the radio?” 

Yeonjun glanced at you, smiling, “Yeah. Sometimes when I’m browsing the television, their videos also come up. Their sound is really fucking cool”

“That’s crazy” You realised, “I think I’d lose it if I heard Hyunjin’s voice on the radio. I’d...probably think it was fate or something”

“I have no doubt that you would” He laughed.

“I haven’t heard all their albums” You admitted, “Does that make a bad friend?”

“Depends” He shrugged, “Why haven’t you heard it?”

You fiddled with the blanket in your lap, “If I hear all their music, and his voice when he sings…I might fall even crazier in love, and that’s just…avoidable”

Yeonjun smiled, eyes crinkling, “Why…why don’t you tell him, Y/N?”

“Tell him what? That I haven’t heard all of his music? He’d hate me-”

“That you’re in love with him” 

“Why would I do that?”

“Because if he knows you love him, it might change everything”

You swallowed, “It won’t change the fact that he is who he is, and that his life is the way it is”

“No, but listen to me, Y/N. Love is a…it’s a huge fucking thing. It might change everything, if he knows what you feel for him, the true magnitude of it. He might reconsider his never-dating-anybody theory”

You stared at Yeonjun as he spoke, unable to even imagine or comprehend how Hyunjin could react to such knowledge.

To be told that someone was in love with you.

How would you react to something like that?

You’d never been in that position before, not romantically anyway, and maybe Yeonjun was right. It would change things. How could it not?

“I’ll…think about it”

“Sometimes, the things that can make the most difference in our lives, is the stuff that we don’t say”

“God. You’re like…a complete self-help book speaking at this point, you know that?”

Yeonjun rolled his eyes, poking you, “If someone told you they loved you, wouldn’t that change everything?”

“It’s hard to imagine. Maybe you’re right”

“When is he going back to the city?” Yeonjun asked, the one topic you’d been avoiding forever. 

Your heart stung at the reminder.

He was going to leave, eventually.

“Not till the end of summer, which is still a month away, so...I have time”

But he would leave.

“He’s going back in a month? Fuck, that’s...not much”

“Yeah” You nodded, “I’m trying not to think about that. It’s...too soon, it’s going to go away in the blink of an eye. I don’t really wanna think about how I'll feel the day he leaves”

“I understand”

“I’ve gotten so used to him, and being around him, it feels...natural, and after tonight- we’re only getting closer”

Yeonjun smiled, “Maybe one more month with you, and Hyunjin may just change his mind”

You rolled your eyes, “It’s impossible”

He sighed, wrapping his arm around you again, “Guess what? Last week, at work, one of the HR interns…she asked me out on a date”

“What?” You laughed, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“There was nothing to tell. She’s cute, well I don’t even know her, but I think I’m gonna take her out next week”

“You are?” You giggled, shifting closer.

He smiled, waving his hands about, “It’s time for me to finally branch out. To move on”

“I can’t believe all of this started from Hana wanting to move on, the beginning of this summer” You remembered.

Yeonjun glanced at you, “So then technically, you have me to thank for bringing Hyunjin into your life”

You laughed loudly, “God, yeah, I guess that is it. You’re responsible”

He grinned, pulling at your cheek, “I guess fate does exist”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. If me and Hana had to be over so that you could find the love of your life, I’d say it was pretty fucking worth it”

You rolled your eyes, “And why can’t the both of us…be happy? Is fate so cruel to deny you your one true love?”

Yeonjun turned to smile at you, a glint in his eye, “Well. Maybe… the cute intern from HR is the love of my life”

»»————-

The loudness of The Grove did nothing to ease your headache. It was just a little past six am, but the diner was in full swing, and customers filtered in and out of the joint, grabbing their usual breakfast waffles and chocolate milkshakes.

“Give me just two more minutes, Y/N!” Seonmi yelled, over the counter, as she sped through making the quickest caramel macchiato you’d ever seen.

“Of course” You responded, balancing your bag on the counter as she cycled through the customers. You’d hardly slept last night, not even having the energy to finish the film, and you and Yeonjun had fallen asleep on the living room couch as the credits rolled.

You had been woken up by your very loud alarm, and you’d apologised to him for it, somehow forgetting that today was a work day, and that you’d have to leave at dawn.

Glancing around the diner, you noticed some familiar faces from the Lakehouse party, people you remember seeing through your blur of tears. San and Seonghwa knew a lot of people, but you hadn’t expected to see them around town so soon.

One of the boys made eye contact with you, and you looked away, hoping none of them remembered the harsh fight you’d had with Hana.

They probably heard everything.

Not that you cared what they thought of you, you just wish you could go back to that night and erase the argument, for your own sake. 

“Okay, I can take your order now!” Seonmi squealed, stepping up to you, bouncing on the balls of her feet.

You tugged the earphones out of your ears, smiling at her, “Can you take a breather for me?”

Her eyes widened, in perplexed cuteness, “What do you mean?”

“You seem so stressed and the day hasn’t even started yet” You grabbed her hand over the counter, squeezing it, “Don’t forget to breathe”

Her lips tugged up, “Thank you, Y/N. You know how it gets sometimes, there’s a rush this morning and I don’t even know why”

“Well, I don’t know how it gets since I don’t work in the most popular diner in town” You teased her, as she smiled, “Something tells me a lot of people come here for the cute waitress”

She let out a giggle, “Thank you. What can I get you, though?”

“The regular would do” You told her, playing with the little tabletop jukebox, “Whipped cream too, please”

“Of course” She smiled, getting back into the meld of things, and you took a temporary seat at the barstool, as she made your drink.

“Those people…do you know them?” You asked her, glancing over at the group.

She looked up momentarily, “The ones from San’s party?���

“Mmh” 

“They’re older than me, so I don’t really hang with them much. I think most of them are only here for the summer”

“Really?”

Seonmi nodded, as she piped whipped cream onto your hot latte, “Jiho’s from Seoul, and Alexander, he’s visiting from up in Incheon”

It seemed like everyone your age who was born here, had since moved out of Daejon, in pursuit of happiness, and better things.

“Ah, I see” You bit your lip, even though you didn’t know who Jiho was or who Alexander was.

“Why do you ask?”

“They were looking at me earlier, and I think I saw them playing beer pong at the Lakehouse. Just wondering” You shrugged, as Seonmi reached over, handing you your cup.

“Ah, probably because of Hyunjin” She giggled.

“What do you mean?” You tilt your head, a soft smile fighting you just because hearing his name made your heart pound like crazy, even at six am on a work day.

“You know…” She glanced up at you, while wiping the counter clean, “You and him are always together…people are talking”

You sat up straight, “About… us?”

She nodded, “Don’t worry about it though, the people of Daejon always need something to talk about. They’ll move on soon”

Even though you hated town gossip and rumours, the idea that people associated you and Hyunjin with each other made your heart warm. You’d never thought something that bizarre could happen, but hearing his name with yours made it all the more real.

You smiled, flushing at just the thought of him, “Um…did he come by earlier this morning?”

Seonmi had moved on to her next order, hurriedly adding caramel to a drink, “Hyunjin? Nope”

You frowned, “He usually comes by though, right?”

She nodded, “Without fail, every morning…he’s here. Kind of gives me something to look forward to, if I’m being honest”

“Yeah?”

Seonmi paused in her work look at you, “Yeah. He’s always so…kind. It’s like within the flurry of customers, he’s the only patient one. Plus, he’s a sight for sore eyes on morning shifts”

You chuckled, “I didn’t know he’s here that often”

“Oh, he is. I guess Hyunjin can’t live without his coffee either” She shrugged, and then suddenly lit up as if remembering something, “Oh! The other day, you should’ve seen him, Y/N, he was so cute. He spent the entire day here, just reading this book he’s carrying around, and wow…everybody was asking about him, about the quiet, pretty boy in the corner”

Just hearing Seonmi describe him made your heart flutter, because you could picture it so perfectly in your head, even though a part of you was also envious that she got to see him like that, instead of you.

“When was that?”

“A couple of days ago” She scribbled an order for another customer, “I wanted to ask him what book he was reading, but I was really nervous”

You laughed, “Why were you nervous?”

“He’s…intimidating, and I didn’t wanna bother him. But you two are close, maybe you can ask him for me”

Close couldn’t even begin to describe it, but how else would you explain what you two had?

“Yeah, we’re…close”

“Kinda weird he isn’t here today” She added, “But you can always bring him coffee… Maybe he’s busy, or slept in late”

You hadn’t even thought of that, “I could?”

She laughed, “I mean you two are practically dating, aren’t you?”

The warmth faded, and you shook your head, “No of course not, we’re …friends”

Of all the things going on in his life, he couldn’t afford to get into a dating scandal right now, especially because of you.

“Right” She rolled her eyes, “You should still bring your hot friend a coffee”

“You think so?” The idea of bringing it to him made you giddy, because you could imagine his smile, and it would be such a great start to your day - making him happy.

“Of course. He gets the same order as yours anyway, I’ll just add another to your tab”

“Okay” You agreed, and pulled out your phone.

You hadn’t talked to him since last night.

Since…that phone call.

The memory made you red and hot all over, and you opened up his texts. You weren’t sure how to even start, but perhaps you wouldn’t overthink it.

It was obvious to him how you felt, especially after that conversation, and you would just be yourself now.

There was only a month. There was no time to shy away from what you truly wanted.

No more holding back, or second-guessing.

you:

good morning hyun

are you home ?

His reply was instant, meaning he was awake and okay, and you leaned on the counter, waiting for him to type out his answer.

hyun:

morning yn :)

yes i am 

where else would i be at six am ?

you:

idk haha

im at the diner

are you coming here ?

i was thinking i could, like meet you before work

hyun:

oh

im sorry 

i don’t think i can

you:

is everything all right?

hyun:

i think i might be sick :/

you:

what??

what’s wrong?

hyun:

haha its nothing…

just my head hurts like a bitch

ive been up all night

You frowned, heart clenching at the thought of him being in pain.

“Here’s your coffee, love” Seonmi interrupted, placing a to-go cup in front of you, “Well…Hyunjin’s coffee”

“Actually…could I get some peppermint tea instead?” You asked, and she stared at you like you were crazy.

“You’re asking for tea?”

“Hyun is feeling sick” You told her, and just the words felt bitter in your mouth. 

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know, he didn’t say much, just that his head hurts” You frowned.

“Oh” She pouted, “Of course. I’ll get you some right now, but it might get cold by the time you get it to him. Maybe the caffeine will help more?”

“You’re right” You stared at the coffee.

“Hey” She laughed, reaching forward to grab your hand, “Now you’re the one who looks stressed”

“I am… just worried about him”

“He’ll be fine. It’s only a headache” She hummed, returning to her chores, then teased, “Just friends, you say”

It was your turn to roll your eyes, “Friends can be worried, too”

“I know” She laughed, “It’s funny cause Eunbi keeps saying the same thing to me about her boy. Just friends”

“Who’s Eunbi dating?” You questioned, hoping some town gossip would distract you from Hyunjin being unwell.

Seonmi glanced up at you, lowering her voice so the other patrons wouldn’t hear, “Oh, they’re not dating. Just fucking”

“I didn’t know Eunbi is into that kind of situation” You noted, grabbing Hyunjin’s coffee in your hands.

“Yeah! I honestly didn’t think Felix would be either but like…they’re both hot, so I completely get it”

“What?” You looked up, stopping in your movement.

She flippantly glanced at you, “Yeah…her and Felix”

“Wait…what?”

She chuckled, “They’re fucking…I just told you. You didn’t know?”

“No…” You trailed off. 

Is that what Felix wanted to talk to you about?

She stared at you, realisation dawning on her face, “Oh. I thought everybody knew”

“I didn’t” You stated, perhaps too harshly.

“Fuck. You’re…not in love with him or anything, right?”

“What?”

She shrugged, “I mean…you two have been…you know…best friends since-”

You frowned, grabbing your bag off the counter, “No. I’m just taken aback…”

“You sure?” Seonmi frowned, eyebrows knitting together.

You stared at her, “Yeah. I’m sure”

“Well, I’m sure he was gonna tell you soon. Maybe he just forgot”

“Yeah. We’re not really talking right now” You mumbled.

She nodded, “Ah. Eunbi mentioned that. Your fights”

“She knows about that…?”

She shrugged, knowingly, “Yongbok told her”

You squeezed the coffee cup in your hands, a bitter taste in your mouth but you didn’t have time to dwell on this right now, Hyunjin needed you, “I…um, I better get this coffee to him before it gets cold”

»»————-

It had only been a few minutes since you knocked at his front door, the floral wreath hung on the front shaking every time you did so, but nobody had come to the door yet.

You should be patient and wait a bit more.

But your mind assumed the worst, like what if Hyunjin passed out…or fell so sick he couldn’t get out of bed? 

You had half a mind to bring out your phone to ask him where he was because he said he’d be home, but your hands were unfortunately occupied by the coffee. 

The revelation from the diner was still bothering you, but now, you had more important things to worry about.

“Hyun?” You called out loud, in the hope that maybe if he didn’t hear the knocking, he’d hear your voice.

In response though, you heard a bark, making you jump out of your skin.

Kkami.

He was nearby, and you stepped off Hyunjin’s porch, following the sound of his puppy’s excited mewling and barks.

“Kkami?” You asked, tentatively, peeking around the side of his house. 

You don’t know how you hadn’t noticed this before. 

A little metal gate, rusted, led to a back garden.

The path was surrounded on either side by overgrown vines and flowers. 

You hadn’t ever come here before. 

Well, technically you’d only been to Hyun’s house once and hadn’t seen anything except his bedroom. The memory made you warm, and you relived it in your head as you pushed open the rusted garden gate. 

The path ran along the side of Hyunjin’s house, and stepping over the pebbles, you passed the windows of his kitchen and living room.

You were trespassing, technically, but he would understand, right?

“Kkami…?” You called out again, emerging into the back garden, when the little ball of fluff ran head-on towards you, jumping at your body with enough force, catching you off guard. 

The surprise knocked you and the coffee to the ground, and the cup overturned, spilling all over your top.

“Ow” You mumbled, hitting the grass, as Kkami began licking your hand, and the coffee soaked all the way through your shirt. 

It was already cold by now, so it didn’t burn. Still, frustration coursed through you because you’d carefully sought this coffee for him, and now you wouldn’t even be able to give it to him.

“Oh my god” Hyunjin’s voice interrupted your short-lived misery, and you looked up, an impossible frown on your face. 

A frown that melted immediately, with the sight that you were greeted.

Hyunjin.

He sat cross-legged on the grass, across the garden, a soft white sweatshirt enveloping him.

A paper-thin novel was held between his hands, glasses pushed up to his hair, and you had half a mind to question just why Hyunjin was up at six am on a weekend, and reading a goddamn poetry book, but that wasn’t the craziest thing about him today.

His hair.

Wispy bangs fell into his eyes, the color of fucking chocolate.

What the fuck?

Your annoyance at Kkami was forgotten, and so was any semblance of a thought you had in your head. Talk about a fucking cliche.

“Y/N…” He immediately stood up, placing his book to the side, face-down on the grass, and you worried that the pages would get wet, but Hyunjin didn’t seem to care about that right now. 

He rushed to you, bending down to your height, “I’m sorry, Kkami. He…”

Carefully, he pried the puppy away from you, telling him to go sit in a hushed whisper, before he turned back to face you.

You felt silly, sat on the grass on your butt, with just your palms supporting you, coffee soaking through your work clothes, staring at him.

Had his eyes always been that pretty?

The light-brown hair brought out the hazel in his eyes, which seemed even brighter now, and every romance book you’d heard Hana talk about suddenly made all the sense in the world, as you felt yourself get sucked into the depth of his gaze.

“You okay?” He tilt his head, the movement making his bangs shift, and you noticed that the side strands were longer, framing his face perfectly.

His brows were darker now too, to match the hair, and just when you thought you couldn’t go absolutely insane about him anymore, he’d prove you wrong by doing something like this.

His lips, puffier than usual, curled up into a smile when he noticed you staring so blatantly.

“Yeah” You cleared your throat, “You…you said you were sick”

So he just forgot to tell you this morning that he’d completely changed his hair?

“I am” He chuckled, then his gaze fell to your top, “You’ve got coffee on you”

“Oh” You glanced down at it, and you didn’t feel anything, or maybe you were too enamored by the boy to feel any pain. 

He must be a fucking siren, or a creature of some sort to have this sort of effect on you, even after all this while. Everything you’d been worrying about seemed like a distant memory, a problem you didn’t have to deal with, and all he’d done was say five words to you.

“Are you hurt? I’m sorry about your coffee…Kkami is misbehaving a lot-”

“It’s actually your coffee” You stated, looking back up at him, finally finding your bearing on coherent words and sentences, “Well…was your coffee”

“Mine?” He smiled, “You brought that for me?”

You nodded and added, stupidly, “I…was at your front door, but you weren’t there, so I…came in through the metal gate”

“Yeah. I was here” He explained, even though it was obvious, “Are you sure you’re not hurt?”

You nodded, reassuring him, “I’m okay, but…if you’re sick, why are you out here?

“I needed some fresh air. My head…” He grimaced as another bout of pain hit him.

Without thinking, you reached forward, caressing his face, and Hyunjin was taken aback, just slightly.

Your voice was low, soft, “It hurts?”

His eyes fixed onto yours, as your fingers trailed down his jaw, “Yeah”

“I’m sorry” You spoke, “Where does it hurt?”

He grabbed your hand within his, long fingers wrapping around your wrist, and guided it to just above his eyes, brushing past his bangs, “Right here, but…don’t worry about me”

“Let me take care of you” You blurted, touching him delicately.

His eyes closed, and he smiled, relishing in the feeling, “I need to get you out of these clothes first”

“What?” 

His eyes shot open, realisation sinking in, “I mean…the coffee. You have to change”

“Oh, okay”

“Come on” He gestured, helping you stand up, with your unsteady feet. The cup of coffee lay upturned on the grass, along with your bag. Hyunjin held your hand in his own, and bent down to pick up your bag with his other. He slung it over his shoulder, tugging the strap tightly.

You looked around the back garden, and it was so beautiful that you had to do a double take just to take everything in.

“It’s amazing” You breathed, watching Kkami play in the grass, tossing and turning around. Your gaze fell to the book that lay open on the grass, and Seonmi’s words came to mind, “What were you reading?”

“I can tell you that later, when you’re warm and dry” He chuckled, then touched your lower back to guide you into the house, “Come”

You nodded, his touch sending a tingle down your spine, but let him lead you into his house. 

It was crazy, that just yesterday you were so bold, talking about the things you wanted him to do to you, and now…now you were going into overdrive just at his hand on your back.

You craned to look at him, “Are you in a lot of pain?”

He shook his head, “I’ll be fine”

There was another entrance at the back of the house, sliding doors opening up to reveal his living area, warm wooden floors and cosy seating. Kkami ran in just after the two of you, jumping around the futon.

“Do you want to wear something of mine?” Hyunjin asked, leading you to his bedroom. You’d been so lost in him that you’d forgotten what you were doing here. 

You had initially been on your way to work.

“I have…a hoodie in my bag. An extra one” You told him, “I brought it in case it gets cold”

He stopped at the threshold of his doorway, looking at you, “Well, that’s perfect then”

“Yeah” You nodded, “Can I change in your bathroom?”

“Of course” He smiled, and you stepped inside.

Being back here after all this time, was strange. 

His bed was exactly the same kind of messy, but covers and duvets now switched out for a sky-blue color, and his pillows were lined up against the wall. 

It made you want to lie down, since you were severely lacking sleep, but you had work, and this bed wouldn’t probably be big enough for the two of you.

The thought was ridiculous anyway, but it left you wondering.

Last night, you were on your way here in your lustful daze, and if Yeonjun hadn’t been heartbroken, you would have come here. 

The canvases leaning against the far wall were new; you could tell he’d been working on so much art in your absence. Paint canisters were haphazardly placed across the floor, and you carefully walked amongst them, hoping to not knock over any.

Pushing open the door to his bathroom, you placed your bag on the counter, searching through for your hoodie.

Hyunjin leaned on the doorway, watching you, peacefully. He must be in more pain than he let on, because he was hardly saying anything.

You glanced at him, eyebrow raised, “Are you… going to stay here while I change?”

He laughed, “No, I…I’m just…Never mind”

He turned around, giving you the privacy you needed. 

You peeled off your tank top, scrunching it up over the sink to squeeze the liquid out, and you both didn’t address the fact that you hadn’t closed the door, instead letting Hyunjin stand facing the other way.

If he turned, he would see you in just your bra, but you honestly didn’t even mind, or care.

Glancing at yourself in the mirror, you wiped the sticky coffee from your forearms.

“I’m sorry about Kkami” He spoke again, and you glanced at his back. It was cute, how he stood facing the other way, arms crossed, like a kid on a timeout. His hair grazed just past his shoulders, the chocolate brown contrasting perfectly with his sweatshirt.

“It’s all right” You smiled, running the shirt under water.

“Are you dressed?” He asked.

“Not yet” You told him, pushing your arms through your spare sweatshirt, “I’m… really upset”

“Why?” He asked, surprise in his tone.

“The hot drink…it was supposed to make you feel better” You frowned. “Now I don’t have anything to give you”

“That’s okay” He laughed, “I already feel better”

“Your head doesn’t hurt anymore?” You asked, looking over at him.

“No, it does hurt but some sleep will make me feel better” He laughed, “Are you dressed now?”

You glanced at him, a soft smile overtaking you, “No”

Hyunjin nodded, a small ‘Okay’ leaving his lips.

You laughed, pushing your sweatshirt down to cover up, “Why are you so impatient? But yeah, I am dressed now”

He immediately turned around at those words, and pulled you in for a hug, like he’d been counting down the seconds till you could be in his arms. You stumbled into his embrace, surprised at his urgency.

“Thank you for coming to see me, Y/N” He mumbled, face buried in your hair, and you brought your hands up, wrapping your arms around his waist.

“You don’t have to thank me” You smiled, dying but living for the warmth of his body.

He squeezed you in his embrace, “I do”

It was a simple hug. It felt so innocent, so tame, so mild compared to last night, yet the carnal desire you felt for him was just the same, if not more now.

How could Hyunjin be more desirable when he wasn’t even trying to be?

All he was doing was hugging you in his little bathroom, surrounded by potted plants, and fragrances, and candles, and they were all so him.

Pulling away, you looked up, noticing the puffiness of his eyes, “You look so tired”

“I had a stressful night…after you told me you couldn’t come” He explained, “I ended up calling Chan, and we talked up until five”

“Five am? So…you haven’t slept at all?” 

He nodded, a forced smile as he shrugged, “Guilty”

“Hyun…” You frowned, “You need to get some sleep, now”

He sighed, “Now? I’ll end up sleeping through the day if I do, and I…don’t want to waste any time”

“Waste?” You questioned, “It’s not waste. You’re…just sleeping”

“Yeah” He swallowed, “But…”

“But?” 

“But you won’t be here” He finished, “And I would much rather…spend time with you. I know you have work today, I was thinking I could come in to the shop. I promise I won’t distract you, I could sit and read. You won’t even know I’m there. Or I could paint”

You couldn’t help but smile, heart swelling at his eagerness, “If you’re there…I won’t be focusing on my work, Hyun”

He shook his head, as if he’d already prepared the answer, “Then I can sit in the back room. You won’t know I’m there”

You giggled, “Then what’s the point?”

He tilt his head, “The point is… that I’ll be close to you”

Your smile grew, and you tightened your grip on his waist, “You…changed your hair”

His eyes widened, “Yeah. I did. Took you long enough to notice”

“I noticed it the second I saw you. I just-”

“You didn’t say anything” He interrupted.

Your gaze followed the light-brown tendrils as they grazed his jaw, “I don’t even know what to say” 

“You hate it?” His smile fell.

You shook your head instantly, “No. It’s…It… reminds me of chocolate”

His lip tilted up, “Good enough to eat?”

You laughed, letting go of his waist, “I take the flirting as a sign that you’re feeling better”

“Mmh”

“You still need to get in bed”

“Are you gonna show me how much you like it in bed?” He asked, and you laughed.

“Shut up” You pushed him, lightly, “It’s unlike you to ask for validation”

“It’s unlike you to be so flippant to me” He pouted, walking back into his room. 

It was hot inside so he pulled off his sweatshirt, revealing the tight black t-shirt he wore inside. The neckline dipped low enough to reveal his collarbones, and it was different from the more oversized shirts he usually wore. He stretched his arms, a small yawn escaping.

“I…have to get to work” You realised, “I’m gonna make you some coffee first though, is that okay?”

He glanced at you, in surprise, “You don’t have to”

“Caffeine will help with the pain”

He shook his head, “I promise I’ll take a nap after you leave”

“Okay” You nodded, grabbing your bag, “I’ll…get going then”

You passed him to leave, but he reached out, tugging at your tote bag to stop you.

You looked at him, “What, Hyun?”

“Aera’s doesn’t open until another forty two minutes, and it’ll only take you eight to get there” He hummed matter-of-factly, with the convincing powers and puppy-eyed gaze of a kid who wanted to go to Disney.

“What’s gotten into you?” You laughed, but let him take your bag, indulging him in his little request. He was right, after all. 

You had to make the most of your time with him, even if it were stolen little moments like this.

You leaned against the bedroom door, eyeing him up, as he put your bag to the side, and he clearly didn’t plan on letting you leave anytime soon.

He bent down to gather the stray paintbrushes on the floor, “I just felt like spending some time with you. Is that so wrong?”

You smiled, looking around the room, “Why is all your shit everywhere?”

He glanced up at you, “I paint when I’m stressed”

“Oh” You recalled, “You were painting last night when you called me”

“I was” He hummed, “When do you get off work?”

“Couple of hours”

“You don’t work Saturdays, usually”

“You have my schedule memorised?” You raised your eyebrow, wanting to tease.

“It’s not that hard” He rolled his eyes, “You work alternate days”

“Right”

He kneeled onto the floor, pulling out a wooden basket from underneath his bed, placing paint tubes inside it. 

You weren’t sure what to do as he started packing his art supplies. 

He wasn’t even saying much, as you stood leaning against the door, observing him, recognising the tune he hummed to himself.

He bent over, and whenever he did his shirt would fall forward, allowing you a glimpse of his chest.

Every time you met, you pushed another boundary, crossed another threshold, and after he talked about fucking you last night, you obviously weren’t just friends anymore.

The energy felt...so different, but it was never uncomfortable.

3 a.m. Hyunjin was a stark contrast from 7 a.m. Hyunjin, and...you loved both.

It felt so strangely calm, so domestic, so heartwarming.

It was seven am on a regular Saturday morning, and you were in Hyunjin’s bedroom, as he cleaned up.

A pink tube then slipped from his hands, rolling under the bed, and he cursed, “Shit”

“Let me” You offered, kneeling to join him on the floor.  You stretched to reach for the watercolour tube, and underneath his bed were discarded hairbands, pencils, and a bag of treats for Kkami. Cute.

After retrieving it, Hyunjin smiled at you, whispering a ‘Thank you’ as he placed it inside the original packing.

“One day you should really let me organise your art supplies”

He tilt his head, “Can that day be today?”

You laughed, “I told you. I have to go to work”

He shrugged, “Skip it”

“Oh, will you start paying my bills when I eventually get fired from Aera’s for slacking?”

“Yeah I will” He said, without hesitation.

Your eyebrows shot up, “Shut up, Hyun”

“Shut up?” He gasped, “Can’t believe you’re being so mean to a sick boy”

“Oh” You realised, reaching forward to cup his cheek, “It still hurts a lot?”

He smiled, leaning into your touch, “Less when you’re here”

You dropped your hand, heart clenching, “I wish I could stay then”

“But you don’t work Saturdays, so why today?”

“Mina wanted me to help with the stock…we have some new supplies coming in, and just needed to get my mind off something 

“Something like what?”

“You don’t have to worry about it, Hyun”

“Maybe I could get your mind off it”

You crossed your arms, “What if you’re the thing I need to get my mind off?”

He frowned, “Did I do something wrong?”

You laughed, “No, don’t worry about that”

He closed the wooden lid, gripping the box, “Last night…You said Yeonjun wasn’t feeling all right. Is he okay now?”

“It’ll take time. He’s just having a hard time, with Hana”

“Oh”

You shrugged, “Love sucks, I guess”

He laughed, “You got that right”

You sat back on your ankles, looking around the room, “What was the book you were reading?”

“Oh. I left it out in the garden. Could you get it for me?

"Yeah, once you tell me what it’s about”

Hyunjin smiled, pushing the box back under his bed, “It’s about fate”

You slid open the doors to the back garden, cold morning air rushing in. Plants of all kinds grew alongside the wooden fence. You wonder if it was him, or his aunt who had planted them. 

Picking up the book, you saw the page it was open to had been creased. 

Hyunjin had marked some pages, left little notes, annotating it, and he must have read through it countless times, so you asked him about it when you came back, “So why are you reading a book about fate this early in the day?”

Hyunjin was still sat on the floor, except his head was buried in his hands, “Fuck. I really shouldn’t have stayed up”

You immediately abandoned the book, stepping up to him, “Hyun. What’s wrong?” 

He mumbled, ‘I’m okay’, running a hand through his hair, but he clearly wasn’t okay.

“Come on, let me get you into bed” You gripped his arms so you could pull him up, but he stayed where he was.

“I’m fine” He answered, through gritted teeth.

You tilt his chin up, so he’d look at you. His eyes were tired, puffy and red, and he looked terribly sleep-deprived.

“Why do you not want to sleep?”

His voice turned soft, “Because then you’ll leave”

“Hyun…” Your heart melted, “I’ll be back in a few hours, you’ll barely notice that I was gone”

He pouted, “I'll notice”

You smiled, tilting his chin up to look at you, “Why are you trying to be cute?”

“Trying?” He acted offended.

“Fine” You rolled your eyes, “Why are you being cute? You know I don’t actually want to go, but...unfortunately we live in a capitalist society and I need to pay the bills”

“I fucking hate capitalism”

You laughed, “Come on. What’s wrong?”

“I just...like being around you” He shrugged, “And now that...you won’t be moving for the program in the city, I don't know when I’m gonna see you again. I was really looking forward to meeting you in Seoul”

“I know, me too, but you'll see me every day for the rest of this month. Isn’t that enough?”

It was ironic that you were saying that, because it obviously wasn’t enough even to you.

Something flashed through his eyes, an emotion you couldn’t recognise and he mumbled, “I guess”

“Hyun, we have time to deal with that later, but can I bring you some Aspirin now?”

“I’m just so fucking tired of this shit” He mumbled.

“What shit?”

He glanced at you, “If I tell you…you’ll be stressed too”

Your eyebrows knit together, confused at what he was talking about now, “Please tell me, Hyun”

He sighed, running another hand through his hair, “Okay. It’s just…it might upset you, and you’re going to be thinking about it all day at work. I know it”

“I don’t care, I want to understand why you’re feeling this way”

His eyes were heavy with emotion, “Are you sure, Y/N?”

It scared you, what he wasn’t telling you, but you had to know.

“You’ve been upset about this, for weeks, Hyunjin. I…maybe I can help, or make you feel better somehow”

He shook his head, a chuckle escaping, “You can’t make me feel better about this”

Ouch.

“Oh. Okay”

He looked up at you, “Shit. That’s not how I meant it. I mean…nobody can do anything, it’s a fucked up situation”

“I’ll try my best to understand it then”

He sighed, leaning back, fiddling with the string on his sweatpants, “It’s…about Jisung. I had to leave Yeonjun’s place early yesterday, because…there’s been some stuff going on with Jisung, and it’s just so frustrating”

“What’s going on?” You asked, hoping you didn’t overstep with your questions.

He looked up at you, “Under my company, we have this…sort of contract, a contract that’s responsible for our health. Mentally and physically. They ensure we’re okay, because it can get stressful and tiring, for our bodies…do you get it?”

“Yeah. That’s a good thing, right?”

He nodded, “It’s supposed to be, yes. It is a good thing. If it weren’t for that, I probably wouldn’t be eating well, or getting enough sleep”

“What do you mean?”

He swallowed, “I mean…sometimes the company wants us to be in a certain…shape for an album, or a photoshoot. The pressure of that can be a lot, but this…this contract, it basically makes sure that they don’t push us too hard”

“Right”

He added, “It’s because of that contract that I was able to come back home, because they recognised that I needed some space. Most people in my line of work…they don’t get that freedom or liberty”

“The freedom…to go home?”

Hyunjin laughed, sore, “Yeah. I know how it sounds. It’s really rare for someone to go on a voluntary hiatus…like I did. They never allow it”

“Oh”

“And part of that contract is…we have these weekly appointments with a ….therapist, I guess you could say? I’m not sure what her specialisation really is, but she…talks to us and checks in with us every few weeks, to make sure we’re doing okay, and if we’re stressed about anything.

She works with the company, so it’s nice to have someone to depend on, and someone to just…rant to at the end of a really horrible month, you know?”

Even though he was telling you something nice, you could tell what he was leading up to wouldn’t be because his shoulders were tense and his voice was harsh. 

He was stressed even just talking about it, and you suddenly regret asking him to explain it to you.

You nodded, wanting to comfort him, hands itching to touch him somehow, but you kept your distance, “That’s…really nice, Hyun”

He nodded, “It is. Well…Jisung has been going to her much more often, ever since an article came out about him last month. The one you read. He was getting a lot of…negative public attention for the fight he was a part of, so he’s been seeing Mrs. Yoona far more often than the rest of us”

You nodded, unsure of what this was getting at.

“Mrs. Yoona…that’s the name of the woman we see. We talk to her every month” He clarified, and you were grateful he took his time to make sure you understood everything.

“Okay”

“Yeah…and…last week” Hyunjin sucked in a sharp breath, “I don’t know how it fucking happened, but someone got access to her files…which are supposed to be confidential”

Your breath caught in your throat, “What?”

“They…released everything about Jisung, everything he’s ever said in his… sessions, all of the things he’s anxious about, the things he hates about the job, stuff about his family, about his ex-girlfriend”

Your heart plummeted, a terrible feeling clawing at you, “They released it…publicly?” 

Hyunjin nodded, voice getting angrier, “I don’t know who the fuck it was. Probably someone from inside the company, but it doesn’t matter now, the files are out now, for every person in the fucking world to see, and it’s so unfair, because that shit’s supposed to be private. It’s his life, and…it’s not fair everyone gets to see it, and somehow use it against him”

His voice broke, and you immediately reached out to him, hand grabbing his, so he would know you were here, “I…I’m so sorry Hyun, that’s horrible” 

He nodded, looking up at you, “Yeah. It is”

“I’m sorry” You repeated, unsure what else you could say, but you felt sick. It was the worst kind of invasion of privacy, and you felt so angry.

Why the fuck would someone do that?

You couldn’t even imagine how Hyunjin felt.

“Yeah. Me too” He spoke, “I’m just on edge because of this”

“Do they…have your files too?” You asked, hoping you didn’t sound insensitive for asking about him, when something horrible had already happened with Jisung.

Hyunjin glanced at you, eyes widening, and he pulled you closer, “Y/N…please don’t worry about me”

“But-”

He cut you off though, “It doesn’t matter if they have it or not, or whatever they decide to do with it. That’s for me to think about. I can’t have you stressing about it”

“But…that’s impossible”

His expression softened, “That’s why I didn’t want to tell you”

“Hyun…” You squeezed his hand, “I’m really sorry that you have to deal with this. I wish…”

“It’s okay” He cut you off again, “I’ve been dealing with it half my life, it’s honestly not the worst thing that’s happened, which sounds so fucking cruel to say. Mostly, I’m just sad about Jisung, but he’s holding up okay for now”

Your phone suddenly buzzed, because Mina was calling you.

“I’m gonna tell her I’m gonna be late” You pulled your phone out of your denims to text her.

Hyunjin watched you do so, “You don’t have to, please”

 “Yes, I do” 

“Y/N” He reached up to stop you, “Forget what I said before. I don’t want you to miss work because of me”

“Hyun…this is more important” You told him, but your heart was pounding, “You should lie down now, you haven’t slept all night. I’m gonna get you some water, okay?”

He nodded, moving over to his bed.

You walked over to the kitchen, grabbing a glass of water for him, trying not to fucking panic about what he’d just told you.

You had to breathe.

Hyunjin needed you, and it would help no one if you also began freaking the fuck out. 

How could people do something like that?

You needed to be stronger than this, because you wanted to cry just thinking about how Jisung felt. 

You squeezed your eyes shut, to calm yourself, and then finished filling up the glass for him. 

There was stuff all over the kitchen counter, different kinds of Daejon-special snacks, sour candy, instant ramyeon packed into little ziplock bags. 

Was he going on a trip or something?

As you went back to the room, Kkami was on top of Hyunjin, sitting on his chest, as Hyunjin stroked his chin, fondly. He was lying down, hair spread out on his pillow, and he glanced at you.

“I think this is the first time he’s paying so much attention to me” He told you, smiling as he scratched Kkami.

“Maybe he knows you’re sick” You hummed, placing the glass of water on the bedside table, “Are you going somewhere? Your kitchen counter...is messy”

He shook his head, eyes wide, “Um, no. I was just cleaning... earlier”

That seemed like a blatant lie, but maybe he was planning a surprise, so you didn’t push. He probably needed any break he could get. He settled further into his blanket, staring at you, “So now you know why I had to leave, when we were at the pool”

Everything made more sense now.

That’s why he had left in a hurry, and skipped the dinner party at Yeonjun’s.

He must have heard about the scandal in that moment, and the thought of finding out something like that about your friend also made you want to cry.

You bent down to grab your bag, wondering why those people wouldn’t just leave him, and his friends alone.

“Are you all right?” He asked, at your silence.

“I’m just mad…at whoever did that to Jisung”

Hyunjin reached out, grazing your arm with his fingers, “Me too, but…that anger isn’t yours to have”

“Of course it is!” You spoke, eyebrows shooting up, “I care about you and I care-”

Hyunjin sat up, interrupting you, “Hey, hey. I know”

You squeezed your eyes shut, “You don’t deserve this. None of you do. I just..I don’t understand how this shit keeps happening and people actually get away with it? Why do they care so much about your lives-”

“Y/N…” He spoke, “Can you look at me?”

You reluctantly opened your eyes, and he leaned in closer, “I know you’re upset, but can you just…please promise me you won’t worry about this?”

“I can’t…” You blurted, “You know me, Hyun. I can’t promise you that”

Hyunjin shook his head, “Can you try? If you’re going to be around me… there will be a lot of this stuff happening. You can’t let it get to you”

You swallowed, knowing this conversation was futile right now, “Yeah. I’ll try my best. You could have told me about this last night, Hyun. I could have been there for you”

“I know. I was going to, but...I didn’t want to ruin a perfectly good night” He smiled, clearly trying to cheer you up, and last night’s intense conversation felt like a fever dream compared to now.

You swallowed, “But still-”

“When you come back. I’m gonna make you feel much better, okay?” 

You smiled at the new comfort between you, “I’ll see you in a few hours”

He laid back down, head resting on the pillow, “It’s cute. You…trying to take care of me”

You rolled your eyes, “Well, forgive me for caring about you, Hyunjin”

He grabbed your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours, “I will be okay”

You stared at him, and he stared up at you, sleepily, eyes barely open.

You should be the one making him feel better.

Your impulse won, and you leaned forward, pressing your lips to his forehead.

He murmured, “When you’re done at work, you can let yourself back in. The key is next to the window, under the daisy”

“The key?”

“To my place”

Your heart stirred, “Hyun-”

He curled up into his duvet, eyes drifting shut, “I’ll see you soon, Y/N”

You closed the door to his bedroom, peeking at him one last time as he buried a hand under his pillow. Hopefully he would fall into a deep, restful, stressless slumber.

The walk to Aera’s wasn’t long from his place, but you took your time, savouring every moment that warmed your heart, but your gut twisted with the new knowledge you had gained.

You had many more questions about the Jisung thing, but it wasn’t the right time to ask. 

How could Hyunjin be so kind, despite the horrible things happening in his life? You would think that such hate would turn people cruel.

And despite all that fucking stress, he still called you last night. He stayed up with you, trying to make you feel good, even though your problems were nothing compared to his.

Aera’s came into view, and you could see Mina inside, idling away on the cash counter, probably playing a game on her phone. 

In front of her lay a large bouquet of flowers, and your curiosity peaked. 

Who sent Mina flowers?

As far as you knew, she wasn’t in a relationship, and her latest hookup had ended badly, yet a beautiful arrangement of daffodils was sent to her.

Your gut twisted, in part envy and some inspiration.

Maybe after you left work, you could bring some flowers for Hyunjin.

It would barely do anything to cheer him up, but it was still a nice gesture that you know he would appreciate.

You hope he felt much better when he woke, less in pain, more at peace.

You stopped in your tracks, just outside the steps.

You’d forgotten to give him the medicine.

What if he woke up, and was looking for it? What if his head hurt again?

You were so stupid for forgetting it. It was one of the reasons you’d gone over to his place in the first place.

Aera’s was right here and you were late, but it would only take you ten minutes to get to his place and back. You needed to make sure he was okay.

For a minute you stared at the little art shop, but then you thought of the frown lines in his forehead and the sadness in his eyes and your heart eventually won the argument. 

»»————-

The key was next to the Daisy ornament, as he had promised.

It felt invasive, to enter his home, and when you pushed open the door to his room, Hyunjin was deep asleep.

He was on his side, face pressed into the pillow, covers pulled up to his chest. 

Kkami wasn’t in sight, so you walked over to his bedside table, placing the pills, a bottle of water, and a candy bar.

Just in case he was hungry.

He sure seemed at peace, eyelids shifting slightly. He was dreaming.

What kind of things did Hyunjin dream of?

You hope all the terrible shit in his life didn’t invade his subconscious, and you wish you could stay here.

You gripped the spare key, reaching for the doorknob, but his voice startled you.

“Y/N...?”

Fuck. 

You hadn’t been quiet enough, and now you’d stupidly woken him up.

“Yeah?” You turned around, and he was clearly awake and you didn’t imagine hearing him say your name. He shifted around in his blanket, to face you.

“You’re back…” He mumbled, a sleepy smile, voice hoarse, “How was work?”

Your eyebrows shot up.

You hadn’t even gone to work yet, and it had only been fifteen minutes since you left but…it seemed like he’d lost all sense of time, and clearly been dreaming away.

You stood still, staring at his body under the covers, as he looked at you, waiting for a response.

“Hyunjin, I…”

“Was it not a good day?” He sat up in bed, rubbing his eyes, a frown on his lips, and the kind of person he was, of course his first question was to worry about you, about your day, which hadn’t even happened yet.

In the early morning sunlight, snuggled up in his blanket, brown hair tousled from sleep, Hyunjin looked absolutely perfect.

His hair fell into his face and eyes, and his bangs were cut completely wrong, but god, you wish you could have explained to him how much you absolutely cherished his new hair.

It brought a sense of familiarity, and of warmth, liquid fire running through your veins.

Like the first sip of coffee on a long day. 

Like the sunset on Jeju Island. 

Like a book character crafted just for you. Like an angel that fell to Earth.

You could stare at him forever.

He opened his eyes half-way through, confused why you weren’t answering, “Y/N?”

You had a choice.

You could go back to Aera’s and help Mina with the stock, yet be consumed by thoughts of Hyunjin all day.

Or —

“No, work was…great” You smiled, giving in.

Giving in to the only thing you could ever want.

Him.

“I’m so glad” Dimples appeared in his cheeks, as he smiled, “I hope Mina didn’t overwork you”

You walked over to him, voice soft to not disrupt his sleepy subconscious, “She didn’t”

“Are you tired?”

“Yeah”

His lips curled into a frown, rubbing his eyes again, “Oh. So…you have to go home?”

Another choice.

It was time to stop resisting.

“No. I don’t have to go”

But it would always be him.

“Is it all right if I stay here with you, Hyun?” 

The smile grew on his face, reaching all the way to his puffy eyes, and he instantly shifted, to make way for you, “Of course”

You don’t know what you were thinking, or if you even were thinking. You slipped off your sneakers, pushing them under the bed, next to the discarded items Hyunjin had long forgotten about. 

Your hesitation disappeared, and it ceased to exist, so you climbed into Hyunjin’s bed.

The bed was small, not nearly big enough for the two of you, but it didn’t matter because you squeezed yourself next to him. Hyunjin pressed himself up against the wall, making way for your body, and to share his pillow with you.

There were no words spoken, like it was habit - routine that you just slipped in next to him, like you weren't friends who could never be lovers, like this was what your everyday looked like, like this was all normal.

It was your first time climbing into his bed, but it felt like the most natural thing to do, like it was your fate, no matter how mundane it was.

The only sound was the ruffling of sheets, as he pulled the blanket over your body to cover you up. 

The bed was so little - all of your limbs touched his, and your noses were inches apart, sharing the same breath on his baby blue pillow.

“Are you comfortable?” He voiced.

“Mmh” You reached over, hand tracing his cheek, “You?”

“I’m perfect” He smiled, a yawn overtaking him soon after, “Although I’m still soo tired…it’s like I barely got any sleep”

You laughed, knowing he voiced the truth, “Go back to sleep, Hyun”

He nodded, “And…what about you?”

You slid your hand under the pillow, staring at him, “I will too"

Hyunjin’s hand moved under the blanket, reaching over to your waist. He pulled you closer, his chest pressing against yours, and your fond heart melted.

“You deserve to rest. You work too hard” He mumbled.

The guilt of skipping work crept over you, but…you needed to be selfish today, and you’d never felt this kind of calm before.

It was just one day you missed.

He was forever.

The way his legs fit between yours, and his hand on your body, was forever.

He tilt his head, voice coming out whiny in his reverie, “What are you thinking?”

“Just…about you”

“What about me?” He whispered.

You pushed back the uneven hair from his eyes, and his forehead, words slow because sleep was crawling over the two of you like a wave in the ocean, “I wish I could make everything easier for you”

A dimple appeared in his cheek, “You already do”

You smiled at his words, eyes drifting shut, but you had to ask,“Your head…does it still hurt?”

Hyunjin didn’t answer, and you thought he must already fallen asleep, but when you opened your eyes, he was looking right at you.

Eyes half-lidded, he was staring at you, “You’re so beautiful…”

Heart squeezed in your chest, an unsafe amount of emotions overwhelming you, and you mumbled, “Hyun…”

There was so much to say, but you couldn’t even comprehend your feelings in the moment. His body was so warm, safe, familiar, and it belonged there, and nothing could convince you otherwise. His eyes were so puffy and they kept drifting shut, and then just like that…he was asleep.

You stared at him as he fell asleep, at a loss for words. You thought you were getting used to the way you felt around Hyunjin, but truthfully you could perhaps never get used to it.

You’d never felt this way before.

You’d do anything for him.

You would do whatever he wanted in the world, and go wherever he wanted you to, and the thought was so scary that you almost cried.

It was good that he fell asleep, because the next words at the tip of your tongue were far too dangerous to be said at a time like this.

You would have told him you loved him. 

You were sure of it.

You loved him more than it was possible for humans to love each other, more than it was possible for you to love a boy you met just this summer, more than you should love someone you could never be with.

Just one second longer, and you would have blurted it out, because it was too strong an emotion to hold back anymore.

It’s a good thing he fell asleep when he did, and it was a good thing you didn’t say it.

If you told him how you truly felt about him, he would leave you.

You were sure of that, too.

»»————-

You woke slowly, and then all at once, eyes blinking awake, a steady heartbeat pulsing under your ear.

It took you a few seconds, to gather your bearings and to pull yourself out of this slumber, trying to make sense of where you were.

You’d been dreaming of stars…and you opened your eyes to the sun.

The blinds were pulled shut, subdued sunlight hitting the room.

Your fingers were clutching onto fabric, a t-shirt, and you were on top of Hyunjin.

Somehow, you’d moved in your sleep, your head pressed into his chest, which would explain why the first thing you heard was the sound of his heart.

Hyunjin’s chest rose, and fell, soft, calm. 

His face was pressed into your hair, and you wonder how he could even breathe, pushed up so close to you. His fingers dug into your sweatshirt, arm still wrapped around your waist.

What time was it?

There was no clock in his room, and you shifted, to reach for your tote bag. It lay by the side of the bed, your phone half-way out. You stretched your arm, but it was still out of reach. 

You didn’t want to wake him up, so you settled for not knowing what time it was, and perhaps you could exist in this moment forever, and never have it be stolen from you.

“It’s…just past ten” He breathed, and you shifted, to look at him. Your arm drifted, grazing his stomach, and it wasn’t until your fingers touched his bellybutton piercing that you realised his shirt had ridden entirely up, revealing bare skin.

“You’re awake” You stated, pulling yourself out of sleep, but everything was still hazy and blurry.

His eyes drifted open completely, “Mmh. I am”

He’d been awake a while, it seemed.

The reality of the situation set in.

You flushed, pulling your hand off his abdomen, even though you’d been enjoying the taut muscles of his stomach.

“Sorry…” You mumbled, “How long have you been up?”

Despite being wide awake, Hyunjin didn’t stop holding you.

“An hour…”

“An hour?!” Your eyes widened, “Why didn’t you wake me?”

He smiled, “Because you needed the rest”

“But…” You felt conscious, “Fuck, sorry, I was basically pinning you down, and you must have wanted to get up, to feed Kkami”

“Don’t worry, I already fed him” He laughed, chest moving with every chuckle.

You frowned, “You…did? How?”

“How?” He repeated your question.

“How did you…feed him?”

He laughed again, confused, “I got up and put food in his bowl”

The realisation sank in.

Hyunjin got up, fed Kkami, and then he—

“You came back to bed after that?”

He smiled, “I wasn’t going to leave you alone, you looked so comfortable”

Your heart skipped a beat as you stared at him.

You had been asleep, and he did all that without waking you. 

He…climbed out of the blanket, the bed, and then back in, snuggling up to you, holding you even tighter than before, without ever managing to wake you up.

A bashful smile tugged at your lips at the mental image, “I see”

“Mmh” He tilt his head, “Did you sleep well?”

“I did”

“Even after you lied to me?”

Your eyebrows shot up, “What?”

“You told me that you had a good day at work”

“Oh…”

“You didn’t have to skip work for me, Y/N. I was only kidding before”

You sat up, trying to fix your hair which must have been a mess after that unplanned nap, “I wanted to stay”

Hyunjin got up too, crossing his legs over the duvet, “Mina won’t be mad at you, right?”

You shook your head, rubbing the tiredness out of your eyes, “I can just take the afternoon shift”

He ran a hand through his sleep hair, pushing it back. You got lost in the way he did, brown curls falling across his jaw.

“When did you even get the time to dye it?”

A hoarse laugh escaped him, voice still groggy from sleep, “Late last night or early this morning…however you see it, after I finished taking to Chan”

“That’s why you got no sleep”

“Yup”

“Can I ask why you did it, Hyun?”

“I guess I just…needed a change. With everything that’s been happening” He looked down at his dye-stained hands, “I wanted to feel more like myself”

“And this…” You ran your hands through his hair, “…makes you feel more like yourself?”

He chuckled, “It’s silly, isn’t it?”

“No, not really”

 He nodded, “I guess I needed to remind myself of why I’m doing all of this. The last time I had my hair like this…I was still just a kid, before I had this kind of life”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah” He laughed, breathy, “I remember, at that time… I dreamed of debuting and making it big, and I was so…focused. It was like I had tunnel vision. I never thought this far ahead or about the stuff that comes after you become famous. I guess I was naive. But now when I look at myself in the mirror, it’ll be like looking at the seventeen year old version of me, and maybe I can dream his dreams again”

You smiled, running your hand across his jaw, “You’ve come so far, Hyun. I’m…really really proud of you”

His eyes crinkled as he looked at you, “You are?”

“Of course” You shifted onto your knees, to caress his cheek better, “I think you’re one of the strongest people I know”

Hyunjin’s hands landed on your thigh, and he laughed bitterly, “Thank you…but if I was actually strong, I wouldn’t have had to come back to town, or go through all of this shit”

Your heart clenched, and you nodded, “Right…”

If he was strong, he wouldn’t be here.

Maybe you were happy that he wasn’t strong.

A wave of guilt washed over you, so you turned away. 

You’d overstayed your welcome, and…Mina would be waiting for you.

Hyunjin’s hand on your wrist stopped you, “Wait. That’s not what I mean, Y/N”

“You don’t have to explain, Hyun” You spoke, putting your feet on the ground, hoping the cold floor would wake you up, but the floor was warm, warm like the bed, like his embrace.

Hyunjin stopped you from getting up. 

His grip on your arm pulled you back, closer to where he sat on the bed.

He explained himself, “No, I mean…I don’t regret it, at all. I just wish it was under better circumstances, you know? Coming back home…”

You wish it was under a better situation too.

You turned to look at him, “Yeah…but what did you really get out of coming back? A…drama-filled summer, a splitting headache, and…a really messy haircut”

Hyunjin’s eyes widened, “You think it’s messy?”

The tension was forgotten in seconds, and you couldn’t help but laugh, “Your bangs are…like completely messed up. I take it that this was your first time trimming it yourself, without a team full of stylists to help you”

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me before” He narrowed his eyes, “What do you mean they’re messed up?” 

“They’re really uneven. It’s cute…but maybe you shouldn’t go out with this hair” you said, watching how the strands fell to his eyebrows.

“So, let me get this right. While I was baring my soul to you about my dreams, you were thinking about my hair?”

A giggle escaped you, “Maybe you can fix it”

His eyes widened, “You…you know how?”

“No…but…I can try”

“Okay, follow me” He got out of bed, gesturing for you to follow him, and you didn’t think he meant right now. 

He stepped into his bathroom, clearing the counter, and you noticed how tight his sweatpants suddenly seemed, stretching at the crotch.

You kept your distance, watching as he placed a box of tissues, and toothbrush holder to the side, trying not to focus on that. It was distracting.

You knew how anatomy worked, and you knew he couldn’t control that he woke up with morning wood, but it still made your brain fuzzy, like a stupid girl in love.

“Okay” He looked up you, and your gaze flickered back up to his face because there was no way you’d be caught staring at his fucking crotch.

“I’ve never done this before, so if I mess up…you can’t be mad at me” You spoke, as he hopped onto the marble counter, legs dangling off. He looked cute, staring up at you.

You don’t even know how you got here, from bringing him coffee this morning to napping in his bed, and to now attempting to cut his hair.

He ran a hand through his hair, “You just need to trim the ends, make it even, right?”

“Yeah” You stepped up to him. 

His shoulders relaxed, as he leaned back on the counter, “You’ll be fine. It’s not that hard”

You reached up to brush back his hair, “I mean, I think you did a pretty good job already. How long do you want them?”

“Just so they don’t fall into my eyes…” He told you, craning to look at himself in the mirror behind.

“Do you have a towel?” You asked.

His eyebrow shot up, a teasing smirk on his face, “A professional, are we?”

You rolled your eyes, “It’s just so it’s easier to clean, Hyun”

He smiled, pointing back to his room, “There should be a new one in my closet, on the upper shelf”

His wardrobe was surprisingly organised as you sifted through it, trying to find the towel. 

Your gaze landed on a ribbed burgundy t-shirt; you’d never seen him in it before. A silver zipper ran till the chest. You couldn’t even imagine how good he’d look in this.

“Did you just get this?” You asked, walking back with it, along with a towel.

Hyunjin was reading the label on a candle he lit, and he looked up at you, “Yeah. I haven’t got a chance to wear it”

“Oh, okay”

His lips tugged up, “You want me to put it on for you?”

You flushed, putting it back, “No, I was just curious”

“I’ll wear it for you later” He laughed, knowing you far too well because you’d never have asked, but you needed to see him in it.

Placing the towel on his lap, over his taut sweatpants, you hoped it would also serve as stopping the very obvious distraction. He didn’t even seem embarrassed or affected by it though. 

He hummed, “Thank you”

You laughed, tossing the hair in your hands, “Thank me after I’m done, this may turn out to look like shit”

“It won’t” He assured you, and you grabbed your phone.

“What are you doing?” He asked, “Texting while I’m asking you to help me?”

“I’m not texting” You rolled your eyes, tilting the screen to show him.

He read off your screen, “Step by step: How to a man’s hair”

“I don’t wanna mess up” You explained.

He giggled, loud laughter filling the bathroom, “Oh my god. You’re referring to a Wikihow article? I am truly doomed”

“They’re helpful sometimes, asshole” You pout, “We need to get your hair wet”

He nodded, leaning onto the mirror behind him, as you ran your hands under the sink to get them wet.

“It’ll be easier if I get in the shower” He suggested, and you glanced at him.

There was a smirk on his face at the recommendation.

“I…don’t think that’s necessary” You stated, flushing under his stare.

“It’s not like I’m going to get naked, Y/N” He laughed, “Don’t worry about it”

You shook your head, running your hands through his bangs to get them wet, droplets falling into his eyes. His eyes fluttered shut, and the drops of water trailed down his neck.

“Your shirt will get wet though” You added quietly, trying not to fixate on the trail of water that had made parts of his shirt see-through.

He blinked, wet hair falling into his face, “We should probably take it off then”

“Yeah” You swallowed, paused in your movements.

Hyunjin laughed, “Oh come on, it’s not like you’ve never seen me shirtless. You seem embarrassed—”

You immediately tugged at his shirt, pushing it up his chest, perhaps to prove that you weren’t affected by this. His eyes widened, and he clearly hadn’t expected you to take the initiative, but he smiled to himself, lifting his arms up, so you could pull it off completely. 

Once you got it over his head, and arms, he was flushing red.

“I don’t know Hyun” You hummed, “You’re the one who seems embarrassed now”

“Stop” He laughed. 

You tried not to get distracted, but in the soft light of the bathroom, his muscles seemed even more pronounced, the twinkle in his bellybutton catching your eye more often than you’d want.

You took in a deep breath, holding a hairbrush up, “Here goes nothing”

“If you ruin my hair, you should know some stylists in Seoul are gonna be very unhappy”

You laughed, untangling all the knots, “So…no pressure then, right?”

He shrugged, “Mmh, none at all”

“And they’re not going to be unhappy with your dye-stained hands?” 

He held his palms up, staring at them, as you pulled his hair taut, “It’ll wash off soon enough”

“Close your eyes” You spoke, “I don’t want to hurt you”

He nodded, and you carefully trimmed the front ends, choppy pieces of his bangs falling onto the towel in his lap. You had to make sure it was even, as you measured it roughly, and you’d never been a hairdresser but all those years engaging in crafts surely came handy now.

“You’re quiet” He spoke.

“I don’t want to mess up”

Hyunjin’s hand suddenly found it’s way to your waist, and you stilled, scissors in hand, “Unless you want me to accidentally stab you in the eye…don’t do that…not without warning”

He glanced up at you, despite the precarious position, gulping, “Sorry”

Just as he was about to move his hand back, you stopped him, “I…I didn’t say you have to stop touching me”

Realisation passed over his face, and he nodded, gripping you tighter.

Now that he held you, you felt more anchored, confidence flowing. You focused on what was left of the task, trimming the rest of his bangs as he watched you. 

Any other moment, you would feel conscious, because you were the only thing he was looking at, but today you didn’t.

“Are you almost done?” He asked, voice soft.

“Almost” You promised, putting the pink scissors away, to look at him.

The light-brown bangs fell just above his eyebrows, growing longer at the side, tucked behind his ears. The rest of the hair brushed his bare collarbones, almost a mullet in the back, shorter in the front.

There was barely anything to even fix, and maybe you just needed a dumb reason to be so close to him again. He knew that too, yet he indulged you.

You let yourself stare at him, seconds stretching into minutes.

It was perfect.

“Is it… all right?” He asked.

His eyes were blown wide, and curious, teeth biting into his plush lower lip, with apprehension.

“It’s beautiful, Hyun” You admitted.

His smile grew, “Really?”

You nodded, putting away the towel on his lap, “If you went to my school, everyone would have had a crazy crush on you”

His eyebrows shot up, “That’s…random”

You bit your lip, “I’ve been thinking about that a lot”

“About…school?”

“No” You shook your head, “About how things used to be. Everything seemed simpler back then”

He nodded silently, as if understanding exactly what you meant. After all, he’d just been talking about a similar thing -- about how things were easier before he debuted.

“Did you…have school too?” You asked him.

He laughed, “Of course I did”

“In Seoul?”

He nodded.

“Why didn’t you just go to the one here…in Daejon? Isn’t this your home?”

He smiled, “I had to go to the academy every day to train, before and after my lessons. It would have been impossible to travel so much if I was in Daejon”

“So you never visited home? What about your aunt? This is her place, right?”

He nodded, “It is, I’m taking care of it for her while she’s away”

“And your parents?”

“They moved with me to the city…” He explained.

“Do you miss them...now that you’re here?”

His gaze softened, “Yeah, I do, but…even when I was there, I couldn’t meet them often. I would try to talk to my mum every day at first, but over time that became…really tough”

“Why?”

“I was just…insanely busy. Not that it’s an excuse, but I just let myself get carried by the work, by the... responsibilities and what was expected of me”

Your hands gripped onto his bare shoulders, “When you go back, you’ll be busy again”

“Yeah”

“When do you even make time for yourself, between…all of that?”

He shrugged, “I...don’t. That’s why I cherish moments like this the most”

“I see” 

He tilt his head, “Do you think we’d be friends…if I went to your school in Daejon, instead of in the city?”

“Probably not”

Hyunjin frowned, “Wow. You didn’t even have to think about that”

You smiled, apologetic, “No, I just mean…I’d probably be too intimidated to approach you, and…you’d definitely be dating the most popular girl in high school”

He rolled his eyes, “Stop. That would never happen”

“Right. I forgot you don’t date”

His eyebrows knit together and he tilt his head, “You know that’s not what I meant”

You absentmindedly fiddled with the string on his sweats, twirling it within your fingers, “Hmm”

“What kind of girl were you, in high school anyway?” He asked, lazily leaning back against the mirror, allowing you a more prominent view of his collarbones, and his bare chest.

“What do you mean?” You laughed, “I was…the same”

His eyes were full of amusement as he watched you speak, and you couldn’t comprehend how…easy this felt. How domestic. 

Hyunjin sat across you, shirtless and just in sweatpants, as you talked about the most mundane things at eleven in the morning.

Is this what it’d be like? 

If he let himself love you?

“Minho told me differently”

Your eyebrows shot up, “What did he say?”

Hyunjin laughed, eyes crinkling into crescents, “He just said you were different, that you were…much louder”

You tilt your head, “As all teenagers are”

“He also told me you failed Art once”

You gasped, “He did?”

Hyunjin giggled, “Wanna tell me what that was all about?”

“The professor…felt differently than me. I actually had a full-blown argument with him in class” You recalled, “Man. I don’t think I’d do that today. I kind of regret it”

He smiled, “I’d love to see that. I’ve never seen you…angry. If it makes you feel any better, I’d definitely fail that art class too”

You laughed, “Why?”

He leaned forward suddenly, closing the little distance between you, “Why do you think?”

You lost your train of thought, getting swept up in his gaze, “I don’t know…”

“I would be too distracted… staring at you” 

Your heart sank, at what could have been, “Yeah…”

He laughed, breathy, “I’m sorry. I…shouldn’t say stuff like that, right?”

Your chest felt heavy, eyes landing to the floor, or anything else, “Yeah. You shouldn’t”

“But you have to know” He cupped your cheek, tilting your chin to look at him.

“Know…what?”

He swallowed, “That…I wish everyday for things to be different, and sometimes I wish I was just a boy you met in high school, instead of…who I am right now”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing” You frowned.

“It’s true. Things would be simpler if I was just…some Hyunjin, wouldn’t they? A nobody”

“No... Hyun, you can’t wish for that. You worked so much to be this. You are who you are, because that’s who you’re supposed to be”

“Supposed to?”

“Aren’t you the one who was reading all about stuff that fate earlier? Don’t you believe that you’re here right now in this part of your life, because you’re meant to be?”

He frowned, “Does that mean I’m…supposed to suffer too?”

“Suffer? That’s…a harsh word”

“You don’t agree?”

You nodded, “Things would be simpler, of course…but you told me that you don’t mind the bad stuff, because you love what you do”

“So you don’t wish for things to be different?”

You swallowed, admitting, “Obviously it would be easier if you were just Hyunjin, a boy from my art class, instead of…a world-famous member of a band"  

“You should stop thinking of me that way” He interrupted, pulling you closer between his legs.

“Even if I stop thinking of you like that, it doesn’t change the truth”

His eyes were soft as he spoke, “Maybe you can forget about it for a day”

“Forget who you are?” You laughed, “Before I knew that about you, it didn’t matter to me at all, but now...it affects every part of your life…it’s hard to just ignore what’s real”

What happened with Jisung just further solidified that for you. Hyunjin had run away from the fame, but it still found him, festering into his heart and mind. Miles away, he worried about it, defeating the sole purpose of him coming here.

His thumbs brushed under your shirt, “I know, but just for a day, don’t think about that”

“What should I think about then?”

“Think about how nice it’d be…if we were in another world, where I wasn’t me”

You frowned, “But who you are is... perfect. I don’t want that to change”

He closed his eyes, “I know you don’t…I’m sorry. I know it’s upsetting, but…I wish for a lot of stuff”

You leaned closer, brushing your thumb against his jaw, “What do you wish for?”

He leaned in, gaze piercing through your soul, “I wish for…a normal life. Wouldn’t I be happier then?”

Your heart stirred, “We all suffer, Hyun, even when we lead normal lives”

Hyunjin’s hand slipped around your neck, the space between your mouths almost negligible, “You want to know what true suffering really is, for me?”

“Yeah?”

“Being this close to you…and not getting to have you in the way I want”

Your voice trembled, “And…what way is that?”

“In every way that’s possible…I want you”

You moved in the same breath that he did, crushing his mouth to yours, before he could even finish speaking.

It didn’t matter who moved first. Your lips were on his, and he let out a satisfied groan, as you swallowed his words, his breath, his taste.

Your hands slipped into his freshly-cut hair, frantic as you kissed him, and he devoured you in open-mouthed kisses, and you could feel it all the way down to your toes, within the crevices of your heart, within the depths of your soul.

It was electrifying, the way he gave into you, like it was muscle memory at this point.

“Y/N-” A groan escaped his lips, between pecks. His hands slid around your waist. He pulled you flush to the counter until your hips met his, thighs closing around your body to trap you in his embrace.

A bottle of hand-soap knocked over onto the floor, as did the pair of scissors you’d held so delicately before, and earlier it was so tranquil but now it was so rushed.

He tilt his head, mouth crushed against yours, and it was already messy, saliva dripping down his chin, but you didn’t care.

Not after what he just said.

He tasted of lazy Saturday mornings, of books about fate, of home.

He tasted fucking perfect.

“Let me make you feel good” You whispered, “Please, please, please”

Despite the growing lust, he was still fucking polite, shaking his head, “No, let me-”

You pushed your tongue into his mouth to interrupt him, words slipping out in a rush, “You don’t have to suffer, not when it comes to me”

“I know” He whined fervently, in a heated daze. You were both burning up, and it was so hot inside this room, but he was the hottest boy that had ever existed. You wanted to do so much, but your time together wasn’t infinite, and the things you wanted to do to him were.

“Please let me do this” You mumbled, pecking his lips over and over.

“What are you going to do?” He whispered.

You fingers rest in his hair, and you pulled at the strands to tilt his head back with enough harshness to make him whine, allowing you access to his neck. 

Within seconds, you pressed a trail of kisses down his throat and jaw, nipping at his ear. 

“Fuck-” He moaned, as you bit onto his neck. Your other hand travelled up his body, fingers brushing against his chest, and his hips bucked up into nothing.

You should be more careful. You wanted to be delicate, but you couldn’t stop, and he couldn’t either, as he slowly rocked his hips against yours, to relieve the friction.

Hyunjin was restless, squirming, as you did so, and he suddenly whined, “Baby, don’t mark me”

You pulled back to look at him, “Why?”

His eyes were half-lidded but clearly he was still thinking straight, panting, “Someone… could see”

The disappointment must have been evident in your face because he immediately kissed you, whispering, “You can do anything else to me, I’m sorry”

You indulged him in the kiss, feeling his tongue in your mouth, as he explored you, grip strong on your jaw. His other hand pushed your sweatshirt up, and his lips were so fucking swollen, dripping with spit - yours and his.

It was messy, his hair was wet, and his hands were stained with dye as they travelled up your body, tracing each curve, under your sweatshirt. They brushed the wire of your bra, and he immediately paused, puling back to ask for permission.

Hyunjin had touched you before, but he’d always been so fucking respectful, never going into unfamiliar territory. Despite the heat of the moment, his eyes were shy, as he silently asked you if he could go further.

“You can…keep going” You nodded, pressing your lips to his again. 

It was all the approval that he needed, before his large hands squeezed your tits and you moaned, “Hyun-”

“Last night-” He began speaking, voice hoarse, “I wanted to touch you so fucking bad”

“Me too” You breathed, “You made me crazy…with what you said. I’m sorry I couldn’t come over”

“I’m sorry too” He apologised so sweetly, but he groped you so filthily, fingers pulling back the lace of your bra, ”I’m sorry I couldn’t make you feel good, when that’s all I ever fucking want to do”

He made you clench, “Fuck, Hyun I promise when I came over this morning, I…I wasn’t expecting this”

He shook his head, kissing the corner of your mouth, “I know, I know, you were just being so fucking sweet, you’re always so sweet”

“I was— I was just so worried about you” You admitted, but every word was difficult when you couldn’t breathe. Every word was difficult when his tongue slipped into your mouth, and you gave up on speaking, to just taste and devour him.

“I know. You care about me far too much” He mumbled, pulling back to gaze at you.

“Does it still hurt you?” 

“If I say yes--”

“I’ll make it go away” You promised.

“How?” He breathed, chest heaving, wondering what you could possibly do to take away the pain.

Your hand landed on his lap, and he was clearly so turned on, and you gently squeezed him through his sweatpants.

A loud moan escaped him, back arching at the sudden sensation, “Oh my god…”

“Is it okay if I go on?” You asked, against his lips.

“Please, I might die if you stop”

You smiled at his words,“You’re hard”

“I know” He chuckled, eyes half-lidded.

“Is that because I kissed you?” You teased, pecking kisses down his jaw, as you palmed his cock through his sweats, “Or is it because I’m touching you?”

“It’s because you’re you” He groaned, head thrown back against the mirror.

Suddenly, a buzzing caught your attention, and your phone vibrated against the bathroom counter. Still, you didn’t stop touching him.

“Baby…” He moaned, his voice was hoarse, trying to find his way to a sentence, “Your…your work”

“Don’t think about that right now” You told him, kissing under his ear, sucking over the sensitive spot, “Just let me take care of you”

Your hands hovered over the string of his sweats, “Can I?”

He nodded, frantically, “I told you. Do whatever you want...to me. You don’t even have to ask”

“Okay” You undid the knot, loosening the waistband of his sweatpants, and Hyunjin held his breath, abs clenching tightly, as you slipped your hand inside, feeling him bare.

He let out a whimper, “Oh god”

Your fingers wrapped around his entire length, and you’d touched him before, the first time that you kissed him, but things were different now.

“Fuck” He grit his teeth, “If I don’t last long-”

“Don’t worry about that” You told him. It was stupid and silly how your brain short-circuited; all you could think of was how hard and big he was. 

“Wait-” He interrupted, and you looked up at him, wondering if he changed his mind. Instead of asking you to stop, he grabbed your hand. 

You watched, curious, as he lift it to his own mouth, his lips wrapping against your fingers, wetting them.

It dawned on you what he was doing, and maybe you were so far gone that you’d forgotten how to even do this, and you felt embarrassed, but Hyunjin didn’t let you feel embarrassed for too long. The sight of him with your fingers in his mouth was so absolutely insane that you had to remind yourself to stay still, and not pounce on him in that very moment.

He pulled them out, with a pop, spit trailing down his swollen lips, “It’s easier… this way”

You immediately slipped your hand back into his sweatpants, tugging at his cock. It was easier now with spit on your hands, and it was better as you gripped him tightly. He was so warm, leaking already, and you wanted to just feel him inside you.

It was only the morning, and maybe that’s why he was flushing red, squirming as you touched him in broad daylight, and he pressed his mouth to yours, too shy to look into your eyes.

Too shy, but far too turned on, as his cock twitched with every tug of your hand, hips bucking to feel more of you.

Your grip was steady, thumb brushing against his tip and you learnt that he loved that, because his whines got louder when you did, curse words escaping his lips. 

“Oh my god” He groaned, and his mouth fell open, eyes squeezing shut.

“Do you like that, Hyun?” You asked him, “You like being touched?”

“Fuck. You’re going to make me come so fucking fast” He mumbled, embarrassed, hands gripping the marble counter.

Your pace increased, squeezing him every other second, and it had been so long since you’d given a handjob that you would get tired but of course he was helping you out, rocking his hips into your hand to match your pace.

He was unable to keep still, knuckles turning white, sweat dripping down his chest, drenching his abs.

He was so sensitive, and it was tough because your hand was restrained by the elastic of his sweat, but he kept squirming, so you gripped his thigh with your other hand, “Stay still, Hyunnie”

“I can’t��� He whimpered, a tear slipping out, “It feels so good”

You kissed the edge of his mouth, as his moans got louder and your pace increased, hand gliding up and down with ease. It would be easier if his sweatpants were off, but you’d lose it if you saw him like that.

A loud ringer threatened to pull your attention away.

“Someone…someone is calling you again” He breathed.

“They can wait” You cut him off with another kiss, and his hips bucked up into your hands, legs wrapping tight around you.

“Y/N-” He moaned, the veins in his neck strained as he held back. 

Your phone was ringing, but you didn’t care about it right now. You’d been interrupted countless times in the past, and today you would make him feel good, no matter what.

“Faster?” You asked.

“Yes, please” He pleaded.

You picked up the pace, squeezing his cock tightly and he bit down on his lip, harshly.

“I just wanna be buried inside you” He blurted, cheeks red, chest heaving, “I can’t imagine how good you’d feel”

“I’d let you do anything to me too, you know?”

“Really?”

“You can fuck me, anywhere… anytime that you want”

He swallowed, “Shit- I want that now”

You leaned closer, pressing your chest to his, “You want to fuck me?”

He bit his lip, “Y-Yes, but-”

He was so whiney, and it was so easy to tease him, “But you’re not supposed to. We’re not supposed to do this, right?”

“I don’t give a fuck about that. I need to be inside you. I dreamt about you, every night” He blurted, and you learnt that perhaps forbidden love was his turn-on.

“What do you dream about?”

“I dream about — Fuck. I dream about you, on top of me, and about - it’s so inappropriate”

“Tell me, please Hyun”

He nodded, wanting nothing more than to please, “I dream of tasting you, and I can’t imagine how sweet you’d taste, and I think about waking you up in the morning, and — ” 

He seemed like he was losing it, beads of sweat dripping down his forehead, specks decorating his collarbones, and you were losing it too, at his words.

“Do you touch yourself to it? To those dreams?” You asked him, squeezing him again.

Tears brimmed at his eyes from the pleasure, and he shook his head, “I want to, but is that...is that okay with you?”

You smiled, kissing him, “Are you asking me if it’s okay?”

“Yeah” He breathed.

You pecked his cheek, and his ear, while stroking his cock, “You can think about me all you want when you touch yourself”

“Fuck” He groaned, “I’m so close. Please don’t stop, please”

“What do you need?” You whispered.

“Let me touch you” He begged, and you nodded, so his hands found their way to your body. 

He pulled you close, pushed your sweatshirt up, just enough to catch the lavender lace of your bra, in the early afternoon sun, “You’re so fucking hot”

You ran your fingers through the freshly-dyed hair, and when he felt your nails against his scalp, he moaned loudly, and you learnt that he loved having his hair pulled. 

You pulled at his hair, and his hips bucked, thrusting up into the air, head falling back, and with another tug inside his sweats, a loud moan escaped him.  

“Fuck—” He groaned, pink lips parting, eyes squeezed shut, cock twitching as he came in your hand, soaking you.

Small whines left his lips, and he rest his head against the mirror, and you continued touching him, and his legs trembled from the pleasure and the pain, until he was done.

It was only a regular Saturday morning but it was the most beautiful moment in your life.

You learnt that you could never feel as satisfied, as you did right now, revelling in his orgasm.

You stopped, in awe of him, until his breathing returned to normal. His hair was sticking to his face, and you pushed it back, and his chest was moving rapidly.

Hyunjin’s lips were bitten red and swollen, a sheen of sweet dripping down his abs, as he tried to catch his breath.

“Fuck” He muttered, opening his eyes to look at you, after he’d finally calmed down.

Slowly, you slipped your hands out of his sweats, and he noticed the mess he’d made, “Fuck, I’m so sorry. That’s-”

“Don’t say sorry” You told him, kissing his cheek.

“But I…let me clean it up” He felt embarrassed, post-coital haze taking over, and he reached for a tissue, wiping your hands with it.

You smiled at his tenderness.

He was red all over, as he wiped his release from your hands, “I’m sorry”

“Hyun” You interrupted him, “Relax”

His shoulders slacked, and he nodded, “Okay”

Like clockwork, your phone rang again.

Hyunjin’s gaze drifted to it, reading the caller ID, “Are they gonna be mad at you?”

“I don’t care” 

His eyes searched yours, and he nodded, and his cheeks were so red, and he was so endearing.

“How do you feel now?”

He let out a chuckle, pulling you closer, “What do you think?”

“I don’t know” You teased, nails grazing his abs. You were turned on beyond belief, the sight of Hyunjin like this enough to make you go insane, but it wasn’t about you right now, it was about him. 

When you got home, you’d think of him and this moment, and make yourself feel good.

You’d think of the moans, and the feeling of his cock in your hand, and you’d imagine it was him touching you.

“I promise this wasn’t my intention…when I asked you-”

“I know. You just wanted help with your hair” You interrupted him.

He laughed, “Yeah…and you helped me”

You tucked his hair behind his ear, still not used to his new look, “You look perfect, Hyun”

“I’m embarrassed” He admitted after a while, “I’m sorry if I was pushy or-”

“You weren’t” You assured him, only half-joking, “Now I know what I’m gonna be thinking about at work”

His eyes shot to yours, widening, “Y/N…”

You laughed, wrapping your arms around his waist, “I’m kidding”

“What about you?”

You laughed, “What about me?”

He smiled, coy, “Isn’t it my turn now?”

“Your turn to what?”

He leaned forward, voice dropping, “You’re…you’re not wet?”

You swallowed, because of fucking course you were, and then your phone rang again, for the fifth time in a row.

“I…I should get that” You stuttered, stepping away from him.

You don’t know why, but…you weren’t ready.

You weren’t ready for him to see you like that, even though every part of you wanted him. Maybe because you knew it couldn’t last. You feared that if Hyunjin touched you even just once, you’d never feel the same again.

So, you answered the sixth missed call, “Hello?”

Hyunjin watched you from where he sat.

Mina’s voice came in, “Oh my god, I thought you died or something”

“Yeah, sorry. I…wasn’t feeling well. I’ll be there soon” You replied, staring at the cabinet and how he’d arranged everything beautifully — a black cherry candle on the top shelf, a cerulean blue hand towel, and a tiny glass jar of hair-clips.

Your gaze darted to Hyunjin’s, and he was putting on his shirt now.

“Okay, I’ll see you there” Mina spoke, hanging up.

“You have to go?” He asked.

You turned to him, “Yeah, in a bit”

He stepped closer to you, “Are you all right?”

You nodded, “Mmh. Why wouldn’t I be?”

He smiled, pressing you into the counter, “Because you didn’t answer my question”

Your eyes widened, “Hyun-”

“I hope you don’t think of me as one of those guys”

“What guys?” You laughed.

“The guy… who’d let you just go to work without taking care of you too”

You gulped, “You don’t have to take care of me”

His expression fell, “You don’t want me to…?”

“No, it’s not that”

“Then tell me what it is” He asked, leaning in.

“Hyun…maybe later” You told him, “Mrs. Aera…will really hate me if I don’t show up”

He sighed, “Yeah. No one could ever hate you, though”

“Let’s not wait and find out” You laughed, grabbing your phone. As you headed for the door, Hyunjin watched you from the bathroom counter, but suddenly spoke, “Y/N”

“Yeah?” You turned.

He leaned in, pressing his lips to yours. Your heart jumped at the suddenness, and the kiss was so soft, so slow.

“Thank you” He said, pulling away, just slightly, “For…cutting my hair”

“Of course” You smiled. His fingers brushed against the skin of your stomach, and he pulled you close again, finding your mouth with his for the second time in the same breath.

Immediately, you kissed him back, and his tongue slipped into your mouth, deepening the kiss.

“Thank you…for…” He mumbled again, between kisses. 

This time…you knew he wasn’t referring to the haircut.

Your mouth hovered close, nose touching his, “Don’t thank me, Hyun. I’ve only been dreaming about it forever”

“So...you dream about me too?” He asked, looking right into your eyes.

You laughed, hands coming up to his chest to push him away, “Shut up”

“Wait” He leaned in to kiss you again. You let yourself melt into his embrace, and you wanted to ask what the hell happened to his no-dating rule, and all of his damned rules about love, but you didn’t.

A chuckle escaped you, “You have to stop thanking me…”

“No, you just…you make me feel so good” He whispered, “I don’t deserve it”

Your eyebrows shot up.

Where did that come from?

“Hyun, I’ll be late” You told him, and you were crazy for willingly pulling away from him, but you wanted to respect Mrs. Aera and her time. 

There was no hurry. Hyunjin wasn’t going anywhere right now, and you’d have all the time in the world to kiss him when you got back from work.

There was still time.

“We’re meeting at the Creek later tonight, right? Yeonjun might come too”

“Tonight? I almost forgot about your futile mission to make me love Daejon again”

He pouted, and you wonder how he could look so adorable after doing something so filthy, “Don’t call it futile”

“We’ll see who’s right” You hummed, adjusting your sweatshirt.

“Have a good day at work”

You felt like teasing him again, just a bit, “Maybe you should change your sweats after I leave”

He flushed red, “Stop. You’re the one that couldn’t resist me, and all just because I changed my hair”

You narrowed your eyes, “Unfair. You win”

He smiled, cheek dimpling, “I know”

»»————-

Work felt a lot like hell that afternoon. 

As you sorted through the new paint, all you thought of was him.

His moans haunted you, his nose scrunching in pleasure, spit trailing down his swollen lips.

What came over you to do such a thing?

How did he let you?

The answer, of course, was simple enough.

Fucking lust. Or love. For you, it was both.

It seemed like he’d realized that you couldn’t stay away from each other, and you were thankful that you didn’t have to pretend to resist each other anymore. 

“Acrylics?”

“Huh?” You looked up from where you were bent on the floor, hands buried in bubble wrap.

“Could you pass me the acrylics?” Mina repeated, standing tall on a ladder, trying to stock the upper shelves. 

“Right. Sure” You reached into the cardboard box behind you. A new edition of paint bottles lay there, named summer pastels, and you handed it over to Mina.

Just a few hours more that you had to make it through.

You were meeting him and Jun by the Creek later for a night swim, and the thought of seeing him so soon again excited you. There was so much to do with him and you were looking forward to the rest of the summer.

He definitely seemed eager to explore the rest of Daejon, and you had to take him to the night market, the summer solstice festival in the park, to a paintball fest, the list was endless.

You wanted to teach him your favourite techniques about art. He’d asked for your help after all. You’d help him excel in watercolour, and gouache, and maybe he’d love impressionism. It was surreal, and dreamy just like him and you could imagine the landscapes you could paint together.

How amazing would that be?

If you and him worked on a painting together.

Your styles were so different, but they’d meld together so well, and you’d let him take the lead. You could imagine how proud he’d feel.

You hope you wouldn’t get too distracted and caught up in each other, and would actually finish the painting, and god, it would be so hot if there was paint all over him-

“You’re distracted” Mina pointed out, stretching to reach the upper shelf as she stocked new sharpies.

“I’m just tired” 

She smiled, “Thinking about a boy?”

“What else did you want me to hand you?”

“You’re cute when you’re flustered, Y/N”

“I’m not flustered. I told you…I’m tired”

Your phone buzzed, and you immediately reached for it, before realising that you were technically at work, and you shouldn’t be so eager. 

Still, Mina caught onto that.

“Oh my god” She laughed, “Who is he?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” You put your phone face down, so you wouldn’t be tempted to check. 

“Yeah you do” She smiled, “Don’t be embarrassed of it”

“There’s nothing to be embarrassed of, because nothing is going on” You felt like a broken record repeating that, but it was the truth.

Your phone buzzed again, and you peeked at the messages. 

They were from Seungmin.

seungmin:

hey yn

i think you may be at work but I can't get in touch with hyunjin

whenever you do, can you ask him if the refund for the last payment came in?

you:

refund for what?

seungmin:

the art classes

at the château 

he was registered for the whole summer before, but since he’s not attending them anymore, we’re refunding him

you:

what?

he cancelled the classes?

“Y/N. I arranged the colors the way you like. Is it okay?” Mina interrupted, and you looked up at her, confused by what you’d just learnt.

“Yeah. It’s okay” You mumbled, reaching for your phone again.

“Can you please text whoever he is after work? I need some help with the canvas” She asked.

You nodded, “Of course. Sorry”

Hyunjin probably had a really good reason for cancelling the classes, maybe it was getting too expensive for him, and you’d ask him about it later.

“Which one even is he?” She asked.

“What?”

“Which boy?” She grinned at you.

“It’s just Seungmin” You told her, “And you’re one to talk”

“What?” She asked.

“Earlier when I came by…I saw the daffodils. Who’s the secret admirer, Mina?” You laughed, turning the tables on her.

She laughed, stepping down from the ladder, “Those were for you, dumbass”

“What?” You glanced up at her, heart jumping.

“They’re in the back room. Since you didn’t come for the morning shift, I put them in some water so they wouldn’t die”

Your eyes widened, “Can I go see?”

“Of course, but come right back please. I need some help with the easels”

Hyunjin sent you flowers?

Why didn’t he tell you? He must have wanted it to be a surprise, and you immediately stood up, dusting the dirt off your jeans as you made your way to the back room. 

The daffodils were peeking out from a cut-up plastic water bottle, a stark contrast to the natural beauty of the flowers. Your heart melted. Mina had done her best, going so far as to putting them on the one shelf of the storage room that got sunlight.

As you stepped closer, the scent overwhelmed you. It had been so long since you’d gone to pick any flowers. 

The petals were delicate to your touch, and you turned the bouquet around. There was no note attached from him.

The flowers were enough though, and you smiled to yourself, making a mental note to take them home with you, and put them on the windowsill by your bed. 

You would thank him later. 

You wanted to cheer him up anyway, and since you were going to the Creek tonight, you knew the perfect fucking way to do that. You just couldn’t wait for him to see it.

“They’re gorgeous, aren’t they?” Mina asked.

You turned to see her standing by the door, “Yeah. They’re so beautiful”

“Someone is waiting out there for you” She nodded back toward the shop.

“Oh, I’ll be right there” You grabbed the fragile water bottle, carrying it back out with you.

You stopped in your tracks as you entered the shop again.

Curly hair falling to her shoulders, the color of rose-gold, heart-shaped glasses balanced atop her nose, she was flipping through a Daejon brochure.

“Yuqi?” You exclaimed.

She looked up, immediately pushing the glasses up her head, and her lips tugged into a gorgeous smile.

“Seems like you’ve been up to a lot while I’ve been away” She grinned, pointing to the tourist brochure in her hands.

“I’ve been up to nothing” You laughed, stepping up to pull her into a hug, holding the flowers in your other hand. 

“Fuck, it’s been so long” She hummed.

“When did you get back?” You asked, placing the temporary vase on the cash counter. You leaned against it, turning to face her.

She looked like a dream in denim dungarees and a tube top.

“I drove in early this morning. I was running a few errands for Yeonjun since then”

You crossed your arms, “Oh, he’s already making you work for him?”

She rolled her eyes, “Unfortunately, as his twin sister, I have no choice but to do it”

“What errands does he even have?” 

“Ice-cream to aid his broken heart”

“Oh” You pouted, “He told you about that, huh?”

“Texted me crying last night” She shrugged, “That’s kind of why I drove in last minute. I wasn’t supposed to come home until the fall”

You smiled, “I’m glad you’re here. I’m sure he will be too”

“I’m like the worst therapist” She laughed, “But…I have dealt with assholes and heartbreak before, so I may just be the perfect person”

Your eyes fell to the brochure in her hands, “What are you even reading that for?”

“There’s a beautiful picture of you in it" She said, waving the paper around.

“What?” You grabbed it from her, flipping through the pages.

It was the new tourist brochure for Daejon, and just like she said, there was a picture of you.

It was from the Paint and Wine event at the Château. 

You were painting, smiling at someone off-camera, and you knew that it was obviously Hyunjin, but he hadn’t been a part of this frame.

Maybe that was better since you didn’t need any rumours around town. Still, it remind you of that night and how beautiful it was, well… until the part where Hyunjin told you he could never be in a relationship, or let himself love someone.

You folded and kept it away, looking back at Yeonjun’s sister.

“You said you drove here? From Busan?”

She nodded.

“You brought the red pickup?”

She laughed, not one for nostalgia or outspoken love, “Sometimes I think you love me just for my car”

Just outside the store window, was parked her gorgeous red pickup truck. You had countless memories associated with it — nights Yuqi would sneak you and Felix out for drives, to the night markets and candy shops in Samhae, up the hill, to the river when Minho had his fishing phase in school.

Observing your wistful expression, Yuqi smiled, “Don’t tell me you’re reminiscing high school already, Y/N”

“I’m not!” You defended, “But it was kind of fun. It was simple”

“It isn’t now?”

You shrugged, “Things have changed a lot since you were last here”

She stepped up to you, “I already know about Hana and Jun’s fallout; what else happened?”

You didn’t even know where to start. Yuqi had always been like an older sister to you, even though technically her and Yeonjun were the same age, but you’d hardly kept in touch ever since she moved.

She’d been so busy in her life, and there was so much she didn't know about you.

You fiddled with your charm bracelet, wondering how to sum up the best summer of your life, “I uh, I met a boy”

Her eyebrows shot up, “What the actual fuck? Tell me everything”

“Sure, but I have to help out Mina too” You laughed, moving back to the supplies, “You’re coming tonight, right?”

“To the Creek? Yeah, Yeonjun told me he’s going” She questioned.

“You should come! You can meet him there”

Her eyes widened, “The boy you met, he’s coming tonight too?”

You smiled, “Yeah. It was actually his plan to go in the first plan”

“Fuck. Is he cute?”

“Mmh. He is” You laughed, pushing the cart of supplies towards Mina as she stocked them, rolling her eyes at your and Yuqi’s conversation.

“You ladies are not passing the Bechdel test” Mina laughed, from the top step of the ladder.

You glanced up at her, “You know what that is?”

“Of course. How dumb do you think I am” She laughed.

Yuqi leaned against the shelf, crossing her arms, “What is the Bechdel test?”

“Like...a way of figuring out if a film or book represents women without the stereotypes or sexism, and in order to pass the test, the book should have more than one conversation between women...which isn’t about men” You explained.

Yuqi laughed, “Well, fuck me. You’re still telling me all about the hot boy you met this summer. The Bechdel test can sue me”

»»————-

Hyunjin was waiting for you by the forest trail, later that night. Liquid dripped from his lips as he sucked on a cherry, and he had a bunch in his hand.

He looked adorable, hands tucked into denim jeans, his hair pushed under a baseball cap. 

“Where did you get those?” 

He glanced up, a small smile on his lips, “Hey” 

He pulled into a half-hug because of how messy his hands were.

“Hey” 

His lips were redder than ever, juice from the fruit dripping down his neck. It did something to you, and you looked away, not wanting to relive your thoughts that overtook you at work. 

He bit into another cherry, “I picked them out earlier by myself. At first, I wasn’t sure how to know which ones are fresh, because back in Seoul, I just buy them from the 7/11 under our dorm, but I don’t know, there’s something truly satisfying about picking your own fruit, you know?”

“Wow. How will you ever adapt to living in the city again?” You laughed.

His eyes crinkled, “Very sadly”

“I got your flowers, by the way” You smiled.

His eyebrows shot up, “What flowers?”

“The daffodils…that you got me?” You laughed, looking up at him.

Hyunjin seemed confused, which confused you further, “Um…”

“You…weren’t the ones who sent me those?”

He shook his head, an unreadable expression on his face, “No, that…wasn’t me”

“Oh okay. Never mind... How long have you been waiting here?” You asked, wanting to change the topic because that was fucking awkward, tugging your tote bag higher up your shoulder.

“You’re not late. I just got here early” He explained.

“To pick cherries?”

“Nope, I just needed to get out of the house”

“Oh. How do you feel now?”

He sighed, biting into another cherry, “It could be much worse”

“Oh…”

“But, hey, at least my head doesn’t pound anymore” He joked, as you arrived at the Creek.

The moon was supposed to be bright tonight, according to the forecast you looked up, but clearly nothing was going to plan, and everything that had happened since this morning had been all kinds of unexpected. 

The water was enveloped in darkness, and it felt like you were looking out into nothing.

Yongbok had always fed you tales of the many elves, faeries, and sirens that lived in the deepest abysses of your town. Stories of otherworldly creatures that inhabited the depths of the Creek, which would only reveal themselves in the deep of the night, concealed in the shadows. 

Obviously you’d never seen one, but you weren’t stubborn enough to tick their existence off the list.

He had told you those stories many times before, and you didn’t believe them, not really. 

Still, staring out into the dark right now, you did feel a little on edge.

The water was mostly still, as all of the little streams led to this spot, pooling in this gorgeous area. You thought it was beautiful how every river across your town ended up in one place, bringing together each corner and story of Daejon - forming a whirlpool of the lived memories.

To be honest, if there were any chance of otherworldly creatures existing in the entire universe…they probably would be residing in the cool cerulean blue water of the Creek.

“What are you thinking?” His tender voice, calmer than the waters, pulled you out of your fantastical thoughts.

Looking up, you saw him stood by the edge of the cliff, on the same rock he had jumped off months before, but you didn’t know him back then. He was but a stranger to you at that time.

You did know him now, at least you think you did -- over the weeks of peeling every layer of what made up Hyunjin, you knew so much of what made him, him. 

“I was…just thinking about how Yeonjun is late” You told him, crossing your arms against the cold breeze.

Hyunjin’s lips curled up, “He’ll be here”

“I hope he didn’t ditch us” You stared back at the dark water.

Hyunjin laughed, “Of course not. I think he’s just running late”

“You seem fairly confident when you’ve known him for less than a week”

He chuckled, stepping closer to you, “We can get in the water. We don’t have to wait for him, you know?”

You swallowed, “Get in the water, like…just me and you alone...together...?”

“Yeah”

Hyunjin standing there right now, looking like this, did not help your emotions. 

Chocolate brown strands framed his face, grazing his cheeks, and the rest was pulled up into a bun, messy, uneven, so fucking attractive.

And even if all those tales Yongbok and the town-dwellers told you were false, Hyunjin was the closest thing to an ethereal, out-of-this-world, ripped straight out of a fantasy novel creature - that you'd ever see. 

If those stories had been written in today's age, they would probably all be about him.

The t-shirt you'd picked out this morning fit him far too well, the zipper stopping at his chest, burgundy sleeves hugging his arms and biceps just like you wish he would hug you.

You were surprised when you’d seen him in that, and you definitely hadn’t been subtle enough this morning. 

He tilt his head at you, “Is there a problem with that? If it's just you and me in the water, alone?”

Was there?

The hint of a smile made it's way onto your face, and you reached up to untie your halter top, and even the fiercest creatures in Daejon couldn’t intimidate you right now as much as he did, “No...there's no problem at all, Hyun"

His eyes fixated on you, as you slipped off the top, revealing the swimsuit you’d picked inside. Light-pink, it hugged your body far too tightly, but he didn’t seem to care. 

He stared at you, unabashedly, unashamed, as you kept the top to the side, with the rest of your stuff. His eyes flickered over your body, and then back to your face.

“Your turn” You told him, crossing your arms.

“Okay” He chuckled, reaching up behind his neck, to take off his shirt, and your pulse went frantic and you felt so silly.

Hell, you’d seen him shirtless only hours before, but it was never enough, and he looked so fucking pretty in the moonlight.

You reached for the button on your shorts, popping it open, and Hyunjin watched as you slipped them off your legs, stepping out of them. It was chilly tonight, and you bent down, to put all of your stuff inside your backpack, and you were so fucking excited to show Hyunjin what you’d been planning. He would love it so much—

“Jisung called me”

You looked up, “What?”

“Yeah” He released a frustrated sigh, running a hand through his hair, “Sorry. I’m ruining this moment”

“No...that’s okay. How is he doing?”

“As good as he can be right now, but...” He sat down on the rock, staring at the water, “I feel bad that I’m not with him”

“You’ll see him in a few weeks though, wouldn’t you?”

Hyunjin swallowed, “Yup”

You’d been expecting that Hyunjin would feel better after…what happened earlier this afternoon, but maybe it was naïve and stupid of you to assume that. You couldn’t change his life circumstances. You made him cum, you didn’t fix all the problems in his life. 

You felt defeated, because he certainly didn’t seem to be in the mood for this.

And why should he?

His best friend was going through shit, and he could do nothing about it. 

“Are you sure you wanna do this?” You asked.

Hyunjin glanced up at you, “Do what?”

“Swim. We don’t need to. I know you’re not in a mood to…we’re only doing this for me—”

“No, I wanna do this” He interrupted, “Did I…made you feel like I didn’t?”

“Maybe we can just wait for Yeonjun” You spoke, joining him on the rocks, “He must be close”

He nodded, crossing his legs on, “Yeah, he must be. So who do you think the flowers are from?”

You turned to him, pulling your knees to your chest, confused, “I don’t know. I…just assumed it was from you”

His face fell.

You smiled, to reassure him, “Don’t worry. They’re probably sent to the wrong person. Or maybe they’re consolation flowers for not getting the apprenticeship”

Hyunjin frowned at the mention of that, “Once I get back to Seoul, I’m definitely giving a piece of my mind to that shit company”

“What?” You laughed.

“They’re crazy to deny you” He expressed, turning to you, “Have you thought about…applying to another?”

You glanced at him, “Another program?”

“Yeah” He wrung his hands together.

You shrugged, staring at the dark water, “Not yet. I’m not proud enough of my work to send my portfolio again, and I’m…not really over the rejection”

“So, what, you’re gonna just give up?”

You shook your head, “No, of course not, Hyun. I’m just gonna take some time off”

“You can’t do that”

You frowned, the urgency in his tone unmistakable, “Why…? Isn’t it a good thing to take time to myself?”

“No, because-” He turned to you, grabbing your hand, “You’re so fucking good at what you do. Right now, there will be so many chances…and opportunities that you could get. Do you know how many companies I auditioned at before I got selected at Pegasus?”

Your face softened, unfamiliar with this urgency,  “No, I…didn’t know that, Hyun”

There was so much you still didn’t know about him.

Realisation sank into his face, “Yeah. Well, it was a lot. If I’d given up, do you think I’d still be here right now?”

So much you yearned to know.

Why did he choose to audition in the first place? What made him even go after this profession? 

And then more. Stuff about his life that didn't matter, or maybe it did.

Who was his first kiss? What was his favourite book? His worst heartbreak? The first girl he fucked? Your curiosity would rip at the seams and maybe it would never end, because the things you wanted to know about him were endless, and now that time was slipping away, it was the only opportunity to stop thinking and start asking him all of those things.

There was no point in dwelling on the what-ifs. 

Hyunjin was here now, and you would not hold back anymore.

“How do you do it?”

“Do what?” He glanced at you.

“Stay so fucking positive, despite everything. If I was in your place, I think the apprehension and fear would have killed me”

His lip tilted up, “It’s not always this way. This year is just not a good one for us. I guess because people are finally beginning to know who we are, it just invites so much more hate, and anger”

“I don’t understand people”

“I know” He sighed, “But for the amount of hate, the love we get...it cancels out all the bullshit”

Hyunjin spoke of love in so many ways, except one.

“Like…” You picked at the pebbles with your nails, lowering your voice, “Some people are so evil”

Hyunjin nodded, “Mmh, but let’s... forget about them tonight. For the time we have left, I don’t want you to spend it inside your head”

“The time we have left...” You repeated, and you would forget about those people tonight, because tonight was special, “I have a lot of things I wanna do with you”

“You do?” He looked at you, voice unsure.

“Yeah” You smiled, “You’re going to love it. There’s so much stuff that happens the end of summer, like the solstices festival, and I still have to teach you so many of my favourite techniques! So I...I was thinking that we could paint together—”

He swallowed, “Maybe we should just take it one day at a time, Y/N”

You stopped mid-sentence at his words, “Oh”

You were getting carried away.

Hyunjin sighed, realising what he’d said, “Because…I mean, you know…eventually, I’ll have to go-”

It just reminded you that this was so temporary.

Your thing with him was temporary — whatever that thing was.

Hyunjin would just walk out of your life, and his life would go on as it always did.

Was there a point to what all you had planned, if he was never going to see you again after that?

“Yeah I know” You interrupted, “Let’s get in the water”

“Y/N…” He spoke, reaching out to your cheek, “We came here for a reason, right? You love this place, and so you’d have a good-”

“I am having a good time” You stood up, standing by the edge, and you would.

Tonight was supposed to be special. 

He joined you, staring at the drop, arms crossed, “Are you gonna ask me to jump again?”

You laughed, “You’ve done it before”

He glanced at you, biting his lip, “Together?”

It wasn’t that scary, but this was only his second time here, and so you took his hand in yours, letting him grip you tightly.

And then you stepped forward into nothingness, stomach lurching at the sudden drop.

You’d jumped off this rock a hundred times before, but this time you still didn’t feel prepared. 

The cold water swallowed you both, and for a minute or what felt like hours, everything was blank.

It was black, and blue, and freezing, and you couldn’t see where he was, and your head pounded with the pressure, and for a second, you feared your worries would weigh you down until you couldn’t come up — 

But then Hyunjin pulled you up out of the water, holding you tight.

You gasped for breath, taking in fresh air, yet it still felt like all the oxygen had left your lungs, because he was touching you so close.

Hyunjin shook his head, to get the hair and water out of his eyes, “Fuck. The water’s fucking freezing”

“It is” You shivered, drifting closer into his arms, to share in his body heat.

The water finally settled around, ripples from your jump dissipating, and if there were any creatures in the water they surely would have woken up by now.

“This is what you missed about Daejon? Freezing your ass off? I can see why you hate this town”

You laughed, loudly, gripping his shoulders, “Shut up. It’s nice if you let it settle”

His teeth chattered, and he was so dramatic because it wasn’t that cold. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him to you, “It’s better than a cold shower”

“What do you even love about this?” He asked you, “It’s better in the morning. It’s warm and I don’t get hypothermia—”

You grabbed his chin, making him look up.

He did, mouth parting, in awe of the view.

The stars had never been as bright as they were tonight, and he sucked in a sharp breath, “How is it so clear? It’s…even better than the hills”

“There’s no lights here, so you can see them much clearer”

Hyunjin’s gaze stayed up to the sky, as he watched the stars twinkle.

“Shit, isn’t that gorgeous? I can see all the constellations from down here” He spoke, “Wait, I think I know that one. It’s Cassiopeia”

Your heart stung at the reminder, but you calmed yourself.

One day at a time.

Tonight would be great.

You tilt your body back, floating on the water, and Hyunjin held onto your waist, drifting with you in the cesspool of your lived memories.

Time felt like it stretched into hours, as you watched the stars move so slow, as the Earth spun, and Hyunjin’s fingers kept you rooted to reality, and your perception of everything was different here. 

You almost expected to look up, and be back in the past somehow, and the thought was terrifying because as much as you wanted things to be good again, it couldn’t happen at the cost of Hyunjin.

The stars blinked, disappearing every other second, reminding you of a memory you’d forgotten - you’d actually planned something for him, and you were going to miss it, because you were stupidly stuck in the past, when your present was already so perfect.

“Fuck” You straightened up, “We need to get out of the water”

There was something Hyunjin needed to see. 

And it had to be now.

“What?” 

“We might have already missed it” You immediately swam back to the bank, and Hyunjin followed, confused why you were getting out of the water so early.

“Missed what?” He laughed, as you lifted yourself out. The wind pricked your skin. You slipped on your flimsy top, and there wasn’t any time to wear your shorts and you can’t believe you fucking forgot about this.

How lost were you?

“Why are you getting dressed?”

“It’s…like your thing on the Château” You told him, grabbing his hand to drag him away from the water and into the woods, not wanting to spoil it anymore.

“What thing?” He stumbled after you, still dripping wet from your short-lived swim.

“The town lights on the hill. Remember you showed them to me?” You spoke, as you pulled him through the underbrush.

“I remember” He was confused, following as you ran through the clearing, into the denser part of the woods. The sound of crickets surrounded you, drowning your little gasps of breath as you ran through.

The leaves crunched under your hurried footsteps, pushing past the twigs in your way.

You hadn’t been there in a few years, but there was no better time to revisit.

He had to see, and he had to now.

He would love it, you know he would love it so much.

If anything in Daejon could make him feel grateful and happy, it was this place. 

“But where are we going?” Hyunjin almost whined, trying to keep up with you. He was much taller so it should have been easier for him, but he was still stumbling through, clearly not used to the wilderness and the city boy inside him was peeking out.

“We’re almost here!” You promised.

“Can’t you at least tell me—“

Your abrupt stop made him bump into you, and he put his hands on your shoulders to turn you around, “What’s wrong? Are you hurt? Did you step on-”

“I want you to close your eyes”

His eyebrows shot up, “What…?”

“Just…” You grabbed his hands, “Please listen to me and don’t ask any questions”

He laughed, amused but slowly closed his eyes, and you grabbed his warm hand in yours. You lead him deeper into the clearing, and he hesitated.

“Don’t make me fall into a ditch—”

“Just trust me, Hyun” You told him.

“I do trust you. I just don’t want to get hurt blindly walking through a forest” He asked, stepping over the leaves, and pebbles that he felt under his feet.

Your smile grew, as you finally made it to the clearing, a view prettier than anything in the entire universe.

You hadn’t come here in ages. 

You turned to face him, catching your breath, “Okay. We’re here”

“Where? Can I open my eyes now?”

You laughed, because Hyunjin was such a hopeless romantic, but he was so impatient too.

Amongst the Daejon woods, was a clearing, where the terrain was flat, and the woodland plants grew tall - a mix of orange and purple flowers, surrounded by thin weeds. 

But, the most beautiful part of this clearing, was what you’d brought him to witness. 

“You can open your eyes, Hyun”

Confusion painted his face, in the form of suspicious furrowed eyebrows, until he finally looked up, realising just why you brought him here.

His mouth fell open in awe, eyes widening, as he took in the scene.

“Oh my god”

Soft, twinkling lights illuminated the entire clearing.

A hundred of them, bright lights, flying above the canopy, like stars shining through the canopy.

Stars that flew around, bumping into each other, creating paths and patterns that could never be replicated even in constellations.

Fireflies.

Hyunjin’s eyes were lit up, mouth parted in amazement like never before, watching the little lightning bugs illuminate the dark woods.

“Oh my god” Hyunjin repeated, a chuckle of disbelief escaping him. He clutched his stomach tightly, as if he couldn’t believe he were here, turning a full circle to take in the view.

“There’s so many of them” He breathed.

A smile overtook your lips, voice soft, “Do you like it?”

He turned to you, pure adoration in his eyes, like a kid on Christmas morning, like a boy in love, but not with you, with what you’d done for him.

“How did you know they would be here?”

You shrugged, coyly, “A coincidence”

His gaze softened at your words, “You planned this”

“I did…I wanted to show them to you”

He looked up again, getting distracted in the way the fireflies flew above the canopy, “It’s so beautiful”

You swallowed, “I wanted to show them to you…before you have to leave. I thought it’d make you feel better, even if only temporarily. I know you’re having a hard time, and I just thought you should see this because—”

When you looked up at him, he was staring at you, not the fireflies anymore, an unreadable expression in his eyes.

His gaze pierced through you, and then flickered to your lips, “Thank you”

You swallowed, suddenly nervous as you looked up at him, “Earlier you said you wish you had a different life, and you’d be happier somehow and I want you to know that’s not true. You can be happy in this life, I know we still have a lot of time, but I don’t want to miss any moment—”

Hyunjin cut you off, pressing his lips to yours.

You let out a noise of surprise, as his arms gripped you, pulling your body closer to his. You stumbled into his embrace, immediately kissing him back. His chest was still glistening with water droplets, and his hair was dripping, sticking to your face, to your lips.

Cold, and wet fingers grabbed your cheek.

His mouth felt hot on yours, as he pressed his chest to yours, wasting no time in pushing his tongue into your mouth.

“Hyun-” You whined, pulling back an inch to breathe, but you didn’t want to breathe anything except his taste.

“I have to tell you something, Y/N” 

At first you thought you misheard him.

“W-what?” You paused.

He kissed you again, holding your face in his hands, “It's...very important”

His voice was suddenly heavy with emotion, and you realised that no you did not want to know.

You’d push your curiosity to the side, and fuck that, because you didn’t want to know anything that would break your heart, and what Hyunjin was going to say definitely would.

“I don’t wanna know. Not now. Just kiss me, please”

Hyunjin’s gaze softened, “Are you sure?”

“Please” You pressed your mouth to his, “I just want you right now”

“Y/N…” He breathed, against your lips.

It was hard to speak, and you didn’t even know what you were feeling at the moment, “I just want tonight to be perfect, and I want you so much”

“Okay” He breathed, pulling your face back to his, and you kissed him, trying to erase everything he was going to say, and this could have been a beautiful moment but perhaps you weren’t the only self-destructive one.

Perhaps it was far too perfect for Hyunjin to handle, and that’s why he was trying everything he could to destroy it, but you wouldn’t let him.

So, you kissed him, until you both sat on the grass, and your knees touched the forest floor. He was on his knees too, holding you to him, hands clutching your face to still have the semblance of control. 

You kissed him until the pebbles and rocks under you stopped hurting, leaving imprints on your skin forever just like he had.

You kissed him until he’d swallowed all your tears, and until denial tasted just like the cherries he had sucked on. 

You kissed him until he was hard, and he mumbled, “Baby...”

He pressed you to the floor, crawling on top of you.

He never broke the open-mouthed kiss, and everything was so wet, with your spit, with the water from the Creek that still hadn’t dried off, with your soaking underwear. 

His weight on top of you was new, and it was unfamiliar, and you don’t know when it would ever happen again, so you tried to memorise it. Your hands sifted through his freshly-cut hair, and it remind of you this morning, and of how beautiful he’d looked, and how different things were.

Hyunjin at seven am was so different from him now.

You wanted to learn him, and discover who he was at every hour of the day. 

Hyunjin’s hands grabbed yours, and in a single move, he pinned them over your head, taking control of you.

Your hands pressed into the grass, and the rocks, and you were at his complete mercy.

“I…couldn’t focus on work today because of you” You complained, when he pulled back to breathe.

“What were you thinking about?” He whispered, kissing the corner of your mouth, pushing his knee between your legs.

“Fuck” You mumbled, and his other hand dropped to your stomach, holding your body down, and it was so fucking sexy you couldn’t stop your whines, “About how pretty you look, about how big-”

He let out a groan, pushing his hardening cock against your swimsuit bottoms, “It’ll feel more perfect when I’m inside you”

Blood rushed to your head, and you tilt your head back, as he planted kisses all over your collarbone. His hand slid under your sweater, squeezing your tits in his hands as he grind against you.

You wanted to touch him, but he didn’t let you, keeping your hands at bay, and it was so fucking hot and you were so wet.

“This swimsuit…is so fucking adorable on you” He mumbled, fiddling with the strings of your bikini bottom, “Is it okay if I touch you?”

“Yes, yes, please”

Why was he even asking?

And then he pressed his fingers into your core, over the thin fabric, and you almost passed out at the touch.

“Fuck” You moaned, squirming, “Don’t tease me”

He nodded, swallowing your whimpers, “I won’t. I was just making sure you’re ready”

“I am” You all but begged.

“I know” He smiled against your lips, and true to his promise, pulled the waistband of your pastel-blue panties forward. 

You could still see the fireflies from here, the twinkling lights in the sky, and you wanted to remember how that looked, but Hyunjin was rolling his hips against yours, and you couldn’t focus on anything else.

You let out a loud moan, when his hand slipped inside your underwear, and he was so fucking sweet as he kissed your cheek, “Will you let me finger you now, baby?”

“M-”

“Y/N?” A familiar voice interrupted, echoing in the woods, and Hyunjin immediately stopped, pulling back to look at you.

“Did you hear that?” He asked you, eyes half-lidded.

You were so distracted by his dilated pupils that you didn’t register that someone was calling your name, and you would have chosen to ignore it, but Hyunjin was already standing up, pulling you to your feet.

“Y/N?” The voice sang again.

“Shit” You cursed, squeezing your eyes shut.

“Who is that?” Hyunjin asked, fixing the straps of your top, pushing them back onto your shoulders.

You ran your hands over your face, trying to gather your bearings, but your head was filled with a cloud of lust, “It’s…her”

His eyebrows shot up, as he tugged your sweater over your swimsuit, “Who?”

“Y/N?” The voice called out again, as footsteps ran out into where you were. 

She stopped, feet skidding against the dirt, as soon as she saw the two of you.

Hyunjin turned to her, eyes widening.

You flushed with embarrassment, because if you heard her…that means she definitely heard you moan.

She stood still, staring at the two of you, and it would almost be comical if you didn’t feel slightly ashamed. 

Her rose-gold hair was pulled up into two ponytails, a red swimsuit hugging her curves.

“You must be Hyunjin” She blurted, “I’ve heard so much about you”

“Oh” He trailed off, looking back at you, and you could see he was trying to restrain the hard-on in his swim-shorts.

You were still so lost, head fuzzy, because what was Hyunjin going to tell you before you interrupted him?

Yuqi looked apologetic, “Sorry I ran in here, I parked my car and then I saw your clothes out by the rocks, and I assumed the worst, like you never know what goes on in these woods, there could be some serial killer, and I literally fell asleep watching Friday the 13th last night, and if you’ve seen that, you’d know that—“

“I haven’t seen it” Hyunjin interrupted her.

“Oh. You should. It’s…nice”

“I don’t really like horror movies” 

“I’m Yeonjun’s sister” She added, an awkward smile.

“Ohh. You look like him”

“Yeah. Cause we’re related”

She looked around the glade, “Did she bring you out here to see the fireflies? I swear she and Felix are so obsessed with thi—”

“Where’s Yeonjun?” You interrupted.

“He’s already in the water” She jut her thumb back towards the water, “I’ll see you guys there!”

She ran back through the woods, and it’d be funny if you didn’t feel so frustrated. You and Hyunjin had horrible timing…or maybe it was fate’s way of saying you weren’t supposed to be doing this.

“She definitely knows what we were doing” Hyunjin spoke, softly, hand slipping inside his shorts to adjust, and you looked away.

“Yeah, but you can trust Yuqi. She…won’t tell anyone”

This was reckless. There were a lot of kids and groups from town that hiked in the woods, especially in the summer.

Hyunjin was already dealing with scandal upon scandal, he didn’t need you to make it worse.

His gaze fell to the floor, “I’m sorry for getting carried away. That was stupid”

You nodded, “Yeah. It was”

“We should be more careful” He mumbled, but you could see the frustration in his eyes as he began walking back.

You followed him, trying to calm your breathing, “It’s a good thing it was just her”

“I didn’t even know Yeonjun has a sister”

“Yeah, she lives in Busan” You told him.

“She has a car?”

“Yeah”

“I was going to rent one” He spoke, as you fell into step with him.

"You were?” You turned to him, “What do you need a car for?”

He shrugged, pushing through the rustling leaves, “I…got us tickets to something”

“Well, I’m sure Yuqi would let you have it for an evening. You don’t have to rent one”

“That sounds good” He nodded, shooting you a soft smile as you finally caught up to Yuqi and Yeonjun, who were already in the water. 

They were splashing each other already, asking you to jump in.

Hyunjin headed to them, but you reached out to him, “By the way, tickets for what?”

He laughed, looking sheepish, “Can that part still be a surprise?” 

»»————-

Fortunately for you, the curiosity about the surprise only lasted for a day.

“You’ve never seen Jaws?” 

“I’m not really a monster movie kind of guy” Hyunjin replied, arms crossed against his chest as Yuqi gaped at him, an almost comical expression on her face.

“Does that mean you’ve never seen Chucky either?”

“I happen to like dolls, and I don’t want to change that”

They’d only known each other a little more than a day, and were already comfortable enough with each other, thanks to the hours spent last night swimming and getting to know each other. 

“You’re fucking kidding me” She stated, then turned to you, “Where did you find this guy?”

“Leave him alone, Yuqi” Yeonjun replied before you could speak, and you laughed.

“No, because monster movies are easily the best genre!” She told Yeonjun, who’d already stopped listening, and was checking the tickets on his phone. 

The drive-in theater was busy tonight, as a crazy amount of families and couples had come out to watch the iconic screening of Jaws. 

Hyunijn had insisted that you come here tonight, another thing off your list that you’d mentioned to him, and the fact that Yuqi just happened to have a car — was a cherry on top of a perfect coincidence.

When they’d learnt of your plans, Hyunjin had been kind enough to let them come along with you, because he enjoyed their company as much as you did.

You don’t know why Hyunjin was rushing through the things, but you couldn’t complain. 

Every summer, cars would line up until Mrs. Erin’s noodle shop, and a huge projector and screen were set up, facing the woods.

They usually played the same movies on loop, so you’d already got tired of the the same blockbuster tropes. Being Yongbok’s friend, you had had no choice but to indulge in every single one of these films.

Still, tonight was different, because Hyunjin was here now.

Every time you came in the past, you would borrow Yuqi’s car since her pick-up truck had space in the back to squeeze all of your friends, with thick blankets and enough snacks to last double-features. Her truck was also ideal for star-gazing and movie nights like this. 

You stood leaning against it, in the minutes before the movie began. As of now, they were only showing previews and trailers, as everybody parked their cars.

“I’m not a fan of watching people get ripped apart” Hyunjin replied to her, his voice low.

“Can’t believe you’re a softie” She tilt her head, as if analysing him top-to-down. Hyunjin’s cheeks turned red at her scrutinising gaze and he turned to you, for help. 

He looked extra adorable today, in a white button-up shirt, and faded boyfriend-fit jeans.

You laughed, pushing the pebbles at your feet, “You’re on your own, Hyun”

He sighed, turning to Yuqi, “It’s not that I don’t enjoy the thrill, I just prefer to indulge in a different kind of …excitement”

“Yongbok must hate you” She laughed, “He’s obsessed with those movies. Have you two met yet?”

Your eyebrows shot up, and you saw Hyunjin stiffen. 

You spoke, before he could, “Um, yeah they have”

“How did he approve of you then?” She asked, eyes wide.

“Yongbok doesn’t have to approve of anybody” You rolled your eyes.

“Yeah, yeah. You two just don’t seem like you’d get along” She told him. 

Hyunjin’s expression was calm, and reserved as she said that. You realised that while you’d heard plenty of opinions from Yongbok about him, you had no idea what Hyunjin felt about him.

Hyunjin smiled, “He’s a cool guy. I’m sure if we hung out more, we’d get along”

His eyes landed on yours, and you agreed, “Yeah. I’m sure you would”

“So then what do you like? Don’t tell me you’re into that cheesy Notebook shit” Yuqi narrowed her eyes at him. 

“I’m sorry I just happen to have a more refined taste than you, Yuqi” Hyunjin replied, catching you and her by surprise as she gasped. You laughed, proud of how he’d already learned to deal with her.

“Okay. I see you, Hwang Hyunjin” She hummed, smiling at him.

“These tickets should get us a popcorn and soda combo. Is there anything else you need, guys?” Yeonjun asked, squeezing his phone back into his jeans pocket.

“That sounds good” You answered, “I can go get the snacks”

“No, me and Hyunjin will go” Yeonjun smiled, looping an arm around him, “Won’t we?”

Hyunjin smiled, shy gaze falling to the floor, “Yeah, of course”

They walked to the pop-up booths, and you and Yuqi hung back, watching the crowd filter in.

“He’s sweet”

“He is, isn’t he?”

“Where did you find him?”

You laughed, “I didn’t. Hana found him. Kind of”

“Where is she, by the way?” Yuqi asked, glancing up at you.

“I haven’t seen her since the party” You shrugged.

“Ah. The party Yeonjun went to?”

“The very same” You sighed, wanting to forget the nightmare Lakehouse party, “You and Hyunjin were talking a lot last night in the water. What about?” 

She waved a hand dismissively, “Oh. He was just asking me about Felix”

You turned to her, “Felix? What did Hyunjin want to know about him?”

“Just a lot of random things, it wasn’t an important conversation"

What random things? 

You searched the crowd for the boys, but your gaze landed on a recognisable silhouette, walking away from you, clutching a tub of popcorn tightly in his hands.

Light blonde hair that stood out in the crowd, and he was in a leather jacket, and there was a grin on his face. You’d missed seeing that so much.

He looked so different, yet so familiar, and your heart ached in the wake of all that familiarity.

“Oh, isn’t that him right there?” Yuqi asked.

“Yeah. It is”

“Aren’t you gonna go say hi?” She laughed, confused at your somber tone.

“Um. I should. I’ll be right back, okay?”

“Of course. Tell him I said hi!” She smiled. 

You walked over to him and you felt nervous, but you had to have this conversation sooner, than later.

“Lix?”

He turned around at your voice, eyes widening in happy recognition.

Immediately, he smiled, his entire face lit up, “Hey. It’s been a while since I saw you”

You hadn’t seen or talked to him in what felt like forever.

“I didn’t think you’d be coming tonight”

He laughed, “Why would I not? You know how much I love Jaws”

“Right. I…remember”

“What are you doing here?” He asked, stepping closer, to hear you better over all of the crowd, and the sounds of the previews.

“I…” You trailed, point to the projector, “The movie”

“Right. The movie” He laughed, tub of caramel popcorn in his hands and Yongbok hated caramel so you wonder why he was holding it this tight.

“Are you here alone?” 

“No, I came with Eunbi” He responded, gesturing to where she probably was, not that you cared for that right now.

“Oh”

He tilt his head, “Did you get the flowers, by the way?”

Your eyes widened, “You…sent me the flowers?”

He chuckled, “Did you hate them or something?”

“No. I...” You trailed off, unable to comprehend why Felix would send you flowers, of all things in the world, “I love them. They’re great...”

Was that his attempt at an apology?

“I’m glad” His eyes crinkled.

“Yuqi’s here” You blurted, wanting to not talk about this any longer, because it just made no fucking sense.

“Yuqi?” He laughed, seemingly not affected by your ignorance to his gift, “She’s back in town?”

“Yeah. She drove in last night”

“From Busan?”

“Mmh” You nodded.

“She’s still the same?”

You smiled, “Yeah. She is exactly the same”

He looked around, trying to spot the iconic red pickup truck, “So you’re here with them then?”

“Hyunjin too” You added.

Felix’s gaze changed, and he nodded, “Right. Of course”

“Yeah”

He took a step back, smiling, “I guess I should let you get back to him"

Felix looked so happy, so much like his usual self, you felt safe again and you had to ask, “What did you…want to say to me? The other night, when you texted me?”

He laughed, except it seemed forced, “Um, forget that. I was just tipsy, and I was missing you”

You recalled his texts, “No, you said you realised why you’d been acting this way. What way?”

“Well…” He tucked his hands in his pockets, and stepped even closer. Under the lanterns, his eyes sparkled in a way they hadn’t before. Was it because it had been weeks since you’d seen him this happy, or was it just that you’d never gone so long without him?

“I yelled at you, at the cabin, at the party. The one you organised, just for me”

“I remember”

He sighed, “I’m sorry about that. It was…uncalled for, and I was an asshole, for doing that to you, when all you’d been doing was trying to make sure I had a good night”

“Why are you apologising to me now? All of a sudden?”

He shrugged, “I’ve been wanting to for a while. I just couldn’t find the right time, and then earlier this week, I was actually thinking about us. About the cabin, and-”

“Felix…”

“Do you remember that summer?” He interrupted, and even though you’d spent every summer the same way, you somehow knew exactly which one he was talking about.

The summer Hana and Yeonjun started dating.

The same summer you promised Felix you’d never let anything get in between you.

How did he know that you were thinking of it too?

Was it because you and him had spent your entire lives around each other, and he knew you so well?

“Yeah. I remember” You nodded, “What about it?”

“I miss that. I’m really sorry for getting frustrated at you, and overwhelmed. I was upset because-"

“Because you what?"

He shook his head, “It wasn’t just because of Hyunjin”

“Then what?”

He sighed, “That’s not important. What matters is…I’ve been thinking about that summer a lot, and how it was probably the best one of my life. We snuck out to Jeju, do you remember that?”

“I do. Your parents got so mad”

“They did” He laughed, “Anyway, so I was thinking…we could go for a swim soon, right?”

“Why?”

He smiled, “It’s the season of the fireflies. Don’t you remember?”

Your heart crumbled at the memories. 

You and Felix used to go there, every summer, to play with the lightning bugs.

Was it you that ruined everything? 

Felix tilt his head at you, “You all right, Y/N?”

You swallowed, because it was time to tell him what you’d been feeling, “No. I…keep thinking about how things used to be, and I miss that”

His gaze softened, “You do?”

You had to be honest now, “Do you think too much has happened…that things can never be the way they were?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean…Hana and Yeonjun will probably never talk to each other again, half of it feels like my fault”

He shook his head, insisting, “It’s not your fault. They just weren’t meant to be together”

“You believe that?”

“Yeah. When two people are meant to be, everything in the world brings them closer, not further apart”

“And…what about you and Yeonjun?”

He shrugged, a playful expression on his face, “Maybe…we can be friends again”

“Really?”

“I…honestly don’t even remember what I was mad at him for. For breaking up with her, for leaving us, it doesn’t matter”

“And…Hyunjin?”

His eyes shot up to yours, “What about Hyunjin?”

You swallowed, “You and him…do you think you can ever be friends with him again?”

He shrugged, “Does it matter? He’s…going to move back to the city, and I’m probably never going to see him again”

“Why?”

“I mean…with his job, it’s not like he’s going to be visiting every summer. So I don’t think it matters if me and Hyunjin get along or not. We’ll hardly ever meet”

You nodded, the sting of Hyunjin leaving hitting you again, but then something Minho had told you came back to you, “Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah, you can”

“When we were fifteen, you said you’d look for the boy from the shop, but you…never told me you found him. Why did you never tell me?”

Felix’s gaze fell to the floor, “It was..futile. It would just break your heart, Y/N”

“What do you mean?”

He stepped closer, clearly wanting to explain himself, and his voice was louder now, because the movie was beginning to play, “I didn’t want to give you false hope. When I found out who Hyunjin is, I also found out what he was doing…training in some big-shot company that would basically own his DNA if he debuted. And he did debut”

“So?”

“So…there would have been no point if you even knew his name, Y/N. I didn’t want you to get hurt. I thought I was doing what was best for you. I’m sorry I lied”

Your gaze fell to the floor, because of course he made some kind of sense, it’s not like Felix was an evil person who would keep such things from you for no reason. He cared about you, and so he did what he could to protect you, even if it was wrong, “So is Eunbi your girlfriend now?”

“Where would you get that idea?”

“Seonmi told me everything”

Felix laughed, “Seonmi told you what she thinks she knows. We’re just sleeping together”

“Right. I should go-”

He stepped up to you, closing the distance between you, “You asked me if things can go back to the way they were”

“Yeah?”

“Why do you want that so badly?”

You frowned, “What…what do you mean?”

“I mean…Hana was a bitch to you ever since Yeonjun left her. You wanna go back to that?”

Your eyes narrowed, “That’s not what I meant”

“Then what did you mean? Do you even know what you want go back to?”

“Of course I know, Lix”

“No, I think you like hurting yourself. Why are you always chasing after things you can’t have? Like that art internship in the city. Like…him”

Your eyes widened, and you stepped back, sneakers skidding against the dirt,  “How…how do you know about that?”

He sighed, “Is that really the most important thing right now?”

You squeezed your eyes shut, “I was here to fix things, not to fight again”

Felix let out a breath, reaching out to grab your hand, but you stepped back.

“We’re just having a conversation, Y/N, I’m sorry if it makes you feel like I’m fighting you. Trust me, the last thing I want to do is to fight you”

“Then what are you even saying?” You mumbled, “Why don’t you want things to go back to the way they were? Don’t you want us to be friends again, Yongbok?”

“No, I don’t, Y/N”

“What?” Your eyes shot to his, because you hadn’t expected him to say that, “You…don’t wanna be friends with me anymore?”

His gaze fell to the floor, and he seemed nervous, until he looked back up at you, “I don’t think this is the best place for this conversation”

“No, Yongbok, if you’re cutting me out of your life-”

His eyes landed on someone behind you, “I’m sorry. I can’t have this conversation with you right now. I’ll see you later”

“What...?” You watched him walk away, heart sinking.

“Before you say anything, I tried my best!” Hyunjin laughed, and you turned around. He stood with Yeonjun, snacks in hand, smiling wide. 

“Tried your best on what?” You asked, a lump in your throat after that entire conversation.

“There were way too many candies at the stall. I didn’t even know there’s that many flavours of gummy bears” Hyunjin noted, and then extended a packet towards you, “So I got you guys a mix of them”

“Oh...thank you” You fought a smile, following them back to the truck. Yuqi had spread out all of the blankets, to make enough space for the four of you in the back.

“That’s perfect” Yuqi reached out, taking the pack of candy from Hyunjin, “A gummy bear orgy is just what we need”

“Gross” Yeonjun sniffled, climbing into the truck, crawling over to get comfortable.

You grabbed the tub of popcorn, balancing it on your lap so Hyunjin could hop into the back too. He slid in next to you, pressing you to the side, and you pulled the blanket over yourselves. 

“Are you comfortable?” He glanced at you, leaning into your ear to talk because the movie had already began.

“Yeah” You manoeuvred your legs over his, entangling them. His arm wrapped around your shoulders, pulling you closer, and it was easier to forgot about the conversation with Felix with his arms around you.

He smiled, dimples appearing, “Warm enough?”

“Yeah” You smiled, not wanting to ruin yet another night, “Don’t worry about it”

“The movie’s starting guys, save the pillow talk for later!” Yuqi whisper-yelled, leaning over to look at you.

“Okay, okay” You laughed, bringing your knees up to your chest, letting yourself get comfortable.

“Is the opening scary?” Hyunjin whispered in your ear to not disturb the others.

“A bit”

“Man” He mumbled, sinking deeper into the blanket, and it was cute how he tried to make himself smaller, “I’m definitely going to embarrass myself tonight”

“Why?” You laughed.

“I might scream” He mumbled, as onscreen a girl went out for a late night swim, while her boyfriend stayed on the beach. You, of course, knew what was coming next. 

“You can hold my hand, if it makes you feel better” You told Hyunjin, and he glanced at you, wondering if you were being serious.

“Are you making fun of me already?” He narrowed his eyes at you.

“Of course not” You smiled, reaching over to grab his hand, pulling it into your lap. 

“Is the shark gonna come now?” Hyunjin tensed up, as the music in the movie got louder, and he squint his eyes, preparing himself for a jump-scare. 

He squeezed the life out of your hand when the shark attached the girl. You watched with bated breath, as people in the drive-in theater started cheering, making you laugh. He was focused on the film with unparalleled focus, even though he pretended he hated it.

“You’re so fucking cute” You blurted, already feeling so much better, mid-way through the movie.

He looked at you, eyes still narrowed, “You’re enjoying my misery”

You laughed, “I am, but only because you look adorable” 

He pouted, eyes wide, “Why did I want to do this again?”

“Because you’re the sweetest boy in the world” You hummed, wanting nothing more than to kiss him, but you couldn’t, not here. Instead, you settled for staring at his plush lips.

It seemed like he was thinking of the same thing, because his gaze dropped to your lips, and he mumbled, “Y/N…We can’t. Not here…”

You were in public, surrounded by tons of families, and Hyunjin couldn’t engage in PDA like this, ever. After everything that was happening with Chan and Jisung, he couldn’t risk anything of this sort.

“Sorry” You bit your lip, moving back.

His eyes were half-lidded as he stared at you, “It’s fine. We just…have to be careful about this”

This. He acknowledged it, and that made you happier than you thought it would.

It wasn’t just mistakes, or built-up tension, or lust that had pulled you two together.

It was purposeful.

And you had to be careful about it now.

You felt lost in his daze, “Can I come over after this?”

“Actually. Could I come to your place instead?”

“Oh, of course”

“My place is just a mess” He laughed.

“I don’t really care. We can still go—”

“Let’s just meet at yours” He insisted.

“Of course” You settled back, a little confused.

You tried to focus on the movie, and you almost did, for a good five minutes before Hyunjin spoke up again, “It’s not that I don’t want—”

“Can you pass me the pop soda, Hyunjin? This fucking kernel is stuck in my throat, and it feels like I'm deepthro-” 

“Yuqi!” You interrupted her, “Why would you put that image in my head?”

She laughed “Just give me the soda, please”

Hyunjin blinked, looking back at her, “Shit. We… forgot to get that”

Her eyes widened, disappointing flashing through, “Oh. That’s okay. I’ll just go get some”

She stood up, the truck creaking under the sudden weight.

Hyunjin sat up too, pushing the blanket off himself, inviting cold air onto your legs, “No, that’s okay. I’m the one who forgot. You’ll miss the movie”

She shook her head, “I’ve seen it before. I’ll come with you, I’m already up” 

Hyunjin shot you a smile, “See you in a bit”

You nodded, watching them walk off, hurrying towards the food stands, so they didn’t interrupt the other cars' views.

Yeonjun bit into the leftovers popcorn, shifting closer to you, “More for us”

“You’re right” You laughed, reaching into the tub to eat some.

“Are you having a good time?” He asked.

You smiled, “Yeah. I am. How are you feeling now?”

“Yuqi’s a good distraction” He laughed, “She’s been taking care of me”

“She’s amazing”

“Can I ask why we’re here?”

“What do you mean?”

He laughed, gesturing to the drive-in theater, “I mean, you haven’t come here in ages, and then Hyunjin bugs us about doing a movie night literally the next day…even though he clearly hates the movie playing”

You stretched your feet out, “Yeah. We’re…checking off a list”

“A list?”

“Of stuff I love about Daejon. He thinks it’ll help me feel better”

“I don’t understand why you two don’t just…date” He laughed.

“It’s impossible, Jun” You bit your lip, “Especially right now”

“Yeah. I know” Yeonjun spoke, “Did he tell you what happened with Jisung? There’s going to be some big lawsuit, I heard, against the company”

“What?” Your head snapped to his, “Did he tell you that?”

“Some of my friends at work were discussing it, when I was on the video call earlier. Hyunjin didn’t tell you?”

“No…he didn’t mention that”

Yeonjun sighed, “It’s probably really shitty for him, to watch his friend go through that”

“I can’t even imagine what Jisung would be feeling” You stared at the screen, zoning out of the movie already, even though it was gearing up towards some of the iconic scenes.

“What’s taking them so long?” He wondered, “They’re missing the best parts”

You glanced around, but you couldn’t spot them anywhere, “They must be on their way. Are you missing your emotional support Yuqi?”

He rolled his eyes, “As if you aren’t missing your emotional support Hyunjin”

You laughed, “I can go check. Maybe they’re picking gummy bears again”

You made your way through the cars, as the movie continued playing in the background. 

Yuqi was walking back to you, soda in her hands. Why was she alone?

You looked around the parking lot, but you couldn’t see him anywhere.

“Hey” She shot you a smile, meeting you in the middle, “I finally got it out of my throat. Man that was so uncomfortable”

You laughed, “You...are so entertaining”

“I know” She grinned, grabbing your arm to lead you to the truck, “Come on, let’s go. I miss my dumbass brother”

“But where’s Hyunjin?” You asked, stopping her.

Yuqi sipped the soda, “Oh, he was right behind me. I’m sure he’s on his way”

“But the two of you went together. Is everything okay?

She glanced at you, but her voice was too cheerful to be authentic, “Of course. Why wouldn’t it be? I'm sure he’s fine”

Why did it feel like she was hiding something from you?

You narrowed your eyes, “Yuqi...tell me the truth, please”

She sighed, “He said he’ll join us in a minute. He told me to go back to the truck! Why would I question him?”

“You go back to the truck. I’ll go wait for Hyunjin” You dropped your arm from her grip, walking back over to the food stands. 

“Wait!” Yuqi made a noise resembling a grumble, and ran after you.

What if he got a call from the city, what if he wasn’t okay?

He wouldn’t just walk out of the movie like that.

The noise of the film carried across the entire area, and it was so loud now, the music swelling and escalating as the film geared towards another jump-scare. 

Frightful and excited cheers echoed through the parking lot, and your heart was pounding, from the bass of the speakers, and from the fear of not seeing him anywhere.

Where could he have gone?

You turned the corner from the dumpling stall, looking over towards the restrooms but the line stretched long, and he wasn’t there either.

You turned around to her, “Did he seem okay?”

Yuqi was cursing, wiping her shirt, “Fuck, I spilled my soda!”

You stepped forward, voice softening, “I’ll get us tissues on the way back, but Yuqi...was Hyunjin oka-”

Then you heard him.

Towards the exit, under the huge drive-in sign, were two silhouettes.

Hyunjin and Yongbok.

You were so far away, but you could see that they were in a heated discussion, of some kind.

“Do you know what that’s about?” You asked her, a lump rising in your throat.

Her eyes were wide, and she shook her head, “No, but Hyunjin told me—”

“They’re arguing...”

“Y/N, let’s just go back” Yuqi spoke, pulling at your arm.

You’d never seen Hyunjin like this. He seemed so overwhelmed, hand over his face as Yongbok talked to him about something.

You pulled your arm away from her grip, walking over to them, and they were so engrossed that they didn’t even notice you coming.

“When the hell are you gonna tell her?” Yongbok was saying, “After you were already gone-?”

“Yongbok” Hyunjin mumbled, breathing into his hands, “Please... try to understand”

He grit his teeth, “I don’t have to understand shit, Hyunjin” 

“What is going on?” You asked, but your voice came out shaky and you thought you’d cry. 

What the hell were they talking about?

You felt sick to the stomach, as they turned to you, like they’d been caught...

Hyunjin’s eyes widened, “Y/N”

You stepped closer, footsteps steady despite the absolute storm brewing inside your heart, “Tell me what...? Is everything okay, Hyunjin?”

Hyunjin looked defeated, as he stepped over to you, “I need to talk to you”

»»————-

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[acourtofthought]

Fellow Gwynriel/Elucien here, but I don’t agree with the Nuala and Cerridwen erasure.

Here’s my question: why do you not want Nuala and Cerridwen to be involved in Elain’s story? Why are you so opposed to them having a more active role in Elain’s life?

Despite posting multiple times a day for what I’m presuming is years now, you have never once mentioned them in your blog (which is crazy, considering that Nuala and Cerridwen are indeed relevant to Elain’s character thus far). You didn’t even refer to them by their actual names in the post you made.

The ACOTAR novels rarely feature POC characters at the forefront. Nuala and Cerridwen’s involvement as Elain’s version of Gwyn and Emerie would be a fantastic opportunity to change that.

To date, aside from their spy work (which is never shown on page), they’re only said to be the IC’s servants/handmaidens, which is a particularity problematic stereotype.

Why shouldn’t we wish for more for both Nuala and Cerridwen?

Why couldn’t they be Elain’s own found family? We barely know them yet to make a call one way or another…

Nuala and Cerridwen aren't just the ICs servants or handmaidens, they're the ICs spies so they are already more. I'm also not sure why we have to claim someone who does hard work for others has to be given a more important role in order to be considered valuable. There's nothing wrong with maintaining someone's home.

Of course the main characters of a story go on to have greater purpose but it's a bit odd to claim every side character who works for them is the victim of a harmful stereotype. They're paid well and from what I gather are respected by Rhys so I'm not getting the sense they need to break free of shackles of some sort.

And having two of the NCs spies play a major role in a book feels a little redundant since Az is also one of the ICs spies and chances are high he's getting a book. And Lucien was once said to have been the Spring Court's emissary and possible spymaster so again, another main character who already fills that role. Both POC characters might I add. Which Rhys is, which Amren is, which Cassian is, which Az and Emerie are, which Helion is (and who would play a role in an Elucien book). An Elain pov featuring Nuala and Cerridwen would not be two female POC at the forefront. It would be a white FMC at the forefront with side character female POC, which we did see in SF, which we did see in ACOMAF in Amren. Emerie getting a POV would be a female POC at the forefront.

I'm not even sure the wraiths are technically POC because we're told they're half wraiths made from shadow.

Alis had brown bark like skin because she was a certain sort of fae that resembled the bark of a tree but I don't think she was meant to resemble a particular kind of person in real life. There was the blue fairie with wings in book 1. Again, not really a poc so much as a specific type of fairie. The Suriel was gray, were they written as a POC? I think that's what we're being told of the twins rather than them technically being persons of color the way Kallias, Helion, etc are. Also, Vassa is referred to as having golden brown skin therefore she appears to be written as a poc and would most likely play a major role in Elain's book. Vassa who cared for Elain's father. Even then though, I don't think Elain will have a found family in the same way Nesta and Feyre did, I think she'll have various friends across all courts and lands. If she's to end up in Spring or Day, it wouldn't make sense for her core group of people to be from the human lands or NC.

I also don't recall the fandom demanding justice for Alis having bigger representation though she was also just a servant and only servant.

The reason I didn't refer to them by name is their names are complicated, I didn't want to misspell them and I didn't have my phone beside me at the moment I was typing the post. Not to mention it's a pain to continue writing two long names over and over which is why the fandom often defaults to ship names when possible.

And the reason I'm opposed to them having a more active role in Elain's book is I'm not. I'm not opposed to anything. In fact my fanfiction features Elain interacting with them so your comment that I never address them is incorrect. Many of my posts have addressed that I believe they'll always be friends of Elain, just not her main found family.

What I do when reading these books is try to follow what I believe the author is telling us.

The wraiths have been around since book 1 and if SJM had wanted us to believe they were important to the future novels I feel she would have begun to give us a bit more on them. Look at Jurian for example. He's only ever been a side character yet he's been given tons of dialogue, an interesting backstory, a dimensional personality, character growth and a developing purpose.

Sarah has chosen to keep the wraiths singularly dimensional, not having them share in dialogue with anyone outside Feyre, not giving them a greater role than that which they've had since the start of the series and not writing hints that they'll be relevant to future plots, a lot like she wrote Alis. I love Alis but I can recognize when authors are writing side characters who are meant to only stay side characters. Were the wraiths even in the war? Not to mention if Elain leaves with Lucien, why would they steal centuries loyal workers of the NC from Rhys?

If Elain leaves with Lucien, what need is there for two NC representatives to tag along for their romantic arc as they travel to Spring, to the continent, to Day, etc? Where they will most likely be meeting new people along the way in each place?

I'm not saying we won't see Elain interact with them in her book but no, I don't think they're her found family that she'll journey with.

I don't read books hoping for things that I think the author should do.

I read books and try to anticipate what I think the author is telling us she will do.

My feelings on the wraiths don't matter in the end, what Sarah's feelings on the wraiths do. And based on her patterns and past writing of side characters who were given greater purpose at a later point, Nuala and Cerridwen do not fit that mold.

You claim they are relevant to Elain's story but based on that logic Amren should have played a much bigger role in Nesta's book yet Sarah chose to have Nesta develop a found family outside of the friendship she made prior to her book.

Of course I could be wrong or she could change direction but I'm not going to sit here and theorize that which the author doesn't seem to be hinting at at this point in time.

[bookishdream]

flame

Matthias girlies, this one is for you <3

Matthias didn’t know when he fell for her. She was awfully sarcastic, even when the situation was serious. She was laughing louder than any girl in Fjerda ever did. But she was always there for him, when he needed her. After the Ice Court mission, when Kaz and the gang rescued her from the prison, she understood him like no one ever had. When Matthias was waking up from one of his recurring nightmares, she was the first one, who he sought. One night, Matthias knew he fell for her, and the thought scared him, because he was supposed to kill her kind; hunt them, so their criminal tendencies wouldn’t put normal people, his people, in danger. But one of these nights, when the dream was so vivid, he realized that she was his person, and there was no turning back from that. 

They were hiding at this cemetery, whose name Matthias couldn’t care less to learn. After their seldom successful mission, Kaz was planning how to get Inej out of Van Eck’s imprisonment, Jesper was sorting out issues with his father and Matthias was trying to bury his feelings, deep down with the corpses already inhabiting the grounds that they were on. 

“Are you okay Matthias?” He hated how polite you were. Every time you asked for his permission when you wanted to touch him, or clean his wound that he got from punching the gravestone. And you’d never used your powers on him. For a Grisha, you weren’t using your powers much, and Matthias had never paid attention to the reason why, hell, he didn’t even know what kind of witch you were. “You seem lost in your thoughts.”

“I’m fine” he snapped, regretting it seconds after when you flinched at his tone. He let out a shaky breath, noticing how he could actually see his own breath. Then he took a note of you shivering. Matthias took one of the moldy blankets that Kaz brought there a few days ago, and wrapped the material around your shoulders. 

“Thanks” you let out a weak laugh. His chest filled with a sour feeling, despising how he couldn’t help you more. He considered wrapping his own arms around you, and sharing his warmness, but he didn’t expect you to appreciate the gesture, after his awful treatment. “I wish I had my powers back” you murmured. 

“Back?” he questioned, sending you a confused look. You chuckled at his face, rubbing your ice cold hands. 

“In the Ice Court, they were torturing me to the point, where my Inferni powers just…” you trailed off. Matthias looked at you, your tangled hair, your bloodshot eyes and the dark circles under your eyes. “I don’t know what exactly they did, but I cannot even make a spark.” 

“Y/N” he whispered. You raised your eyes at him, sending a bolt of energy down his spine. “I am so sorry”

“It’s okay, Matthias” you took his hand. He could feel how cold your palms were, putting his other hand on the top of yours. “You weren’t there”

“Might’ve as well could be” he was still whispering, scared that if he raised his voice, you’d stop talking. “Those were my people that did this to you. That still do this to other Grishas”

“You cannot change this, love” his heart swelled at the term of endearment leaving your mouth. “You’re no longer like them Matthias, you have changed”

“But I cannot erase my past”

“Indeed, but you can change your future.” He didn’t know when you got closer to him, when your other hand was holding his forearm, when only one turn of either of your heads would lead to unbelievable things. “You’re better than them”

“Do you really think so?” his voice was full of hope, his eyes were locked with yours and he could see little flames burning in them. 

“Well, you did save me. Doesn’t that make you a changed man?”

He couldn’t wait any longer, his lips were on yours faster than he could think of the repercussions of his actions. Your lips were cold, and neither of you were moving, waiting for someone to do the next step. You took out your palm out of Matthias’s hold and when he thought you would move away from him, you placed your hand on his cheek, pulling him even closer. He sighed straight in your lips, and kissed you, this time harder. One of his hands was squeezing your waist, under the blanket and you shiver at the feeling of his cold, rough fingertips, touching your bare skin. The second one was on your neck, caressing it. The forgotten blanket was pooled around you, creating a nest. When you parted, your breaths were mixing and your lips were swollen, but both of you were smiling at each other. 

“You have flames in your eyes” he said, placing the blanket around your shoulders again. You smiled at him, embracing him. 

“And you have a flame in your soul, Matthias” 

[pommunist]

I don't wanna say this under my own name because I'm friends with too many Quackity fans, but god, everything about his actions just makes me think that what he cares about is just avoiding legal trouble and protecting his own public image

And maybe also about his friends to be fair

(I mean to his credit, I don't think he cares about money either)

He says he's doing all this for the viewers, but I guess that doesn't include the viewers who care about the French streamers or the French characters

And I don't see any hint of him genuinely caring about the workers. This is not how you treat someone you care about. He keeps implying that he can't talk to anyone because of "leaks" but what the fuck could be so bad about the "leaks" that it justifies this kind of disrespect? Why is this secrecy more important than the needs of the workers?

Nobody's asking him to reveal his biggest secrets to the workers, everyone is just asking for him to TALK to them at least, and hearing them out

He also says he can't talk because he doesn't want to make false promises, then just say that! Again, nobody asked him to promise them a job in the future, we just want him to be honest and respectful! Just tell them directly that you don't know yet and listen to their thoughts on the situation! Ask them how you can alleviate the inconvenience if it's within your means! Just talk to them like they're fellow adults who are capable of having a reasonable conversation! Because they are!

The union mentioned that some of the workers had basically been told by management that they should be grateful to be allowed to work for Quackity Studios and ngl, I wonder if this is not only the view of higher management but of Quackity himself too. That's the question I keep asking myself and not daring to say out loud: does he see the lower level workers as just fans who should be happy they were even allowed to participate at all?

- 🐧

First I never mind anonymous asks so no problem dont worry !

Second I tbh don’t want to assume what Q true intentions really are because heavy speculation isn’t productive and can lead to more stress in general. However I think that we can agree that he isn’t doing it all for the money, given that we’ve always known QSMP was never and problably even supposed to be a profitable thing (just the hosting and translation costs alone point to this).

That said, I do agree that everything that has been done up to this point and since Lea started to reveal things seems to be more damage control and trying to avoid legal issues than actually trying to be fair to the workers. This isn’t even speculation if you consider the sudden firing of Twitter admins and the silent towards all the other admins.

Obviously, when you’re a company or an individual you wanna avoid a lawsuit at all cost. It is a logical business move, morally I don’t agree with that mindset ofc, and I also feel like it’s a misunderstanding of the intentions of most of the admins.

I don’t know any of them personally but none of them, so far, have publicly said they wanted to take the legal route or even sue Qstudios. In fact, most if not all of them have expressed their love of the project and wished for it to continue with better working conditions. Some admins also said they didn’t care about getting paid, that volunteer work was fine if they had done it without the stress and pressure. Side note if it ever comes out that some admins want to take the legal route to make their rights be recognised and be compensated then my full support to them.

As if he is doing all this for preserving his image (i say IF) then what a terrible job he’s doing. I hope I’m making very clear that QSMP and Q’s image with french speakers fans (and non fans, and other French Ccs) is in literal ruins.

Also I feel like there was a genuine wish to add different cultures, I’m talking specifically about the French and BRs here, but an underestimating of the work it takes to actually merge people from different backgrounds and that it goes beyond just putting CCs from all over the world on minecraft with a translator. The fact that there was no FR, PT or KR speaking upper admin at all in the team baffles me to this day.

Worst thing is that we probably only know like a fraction of the overwork, miscommunication and intimidation that went on behind the scenes. Heart aches for all of those who went through it. All the love to them ♥️

[cameronspecial]

Secrets In Tangled (Part 4)

Pairing: Anthony Lockwood x Reader

Warnings: N/A

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 1.4K

Summary: Secrets revealed causes everyone to get hurt.

Masterlist

“Mother? Y/N, what are you talking about?” Lockwood questions with a confused look on his face. Lucy and Geroge’s faces show the same emotion. Y/N turns to her mother, “Can you give me a second with them, please? And then I’ll talk to you. I promise.” Her mother motions for her to do as she wishes. She closes the door and turns towards the others. “So you know how you guys are always asking me how I know all the things that I do? Well, that woman out there is your answer. I am technically the daughter of Penelope Fittes, and I ran away from home.” Lucy snaps out of her confusion, “But how come we’ve never heard of you before? If that were true, then you’d be everywhere.”

“Yes, good point. I should be, but since I am talentless and technically, a bastard, dear old mom wanted to keep me a secret. It’s why I grew up just outside of London with only my tutors and coaches as my only source of social interaction.” 

“And you kept this from us?” Lockwood asks, his facial expression has now turned to one that she cannot read. Y/N nods slowly, “Yes, at first, I didn’t know how people would deal with it. I mean without my mother calling me her daughter, who would believe that I am biologically hers? I’ve always looked more like my father from what my mother says. But also… I didn’t know if I could trust you guys just yet.” Lockwood’s face contours to anger at her words, “You didn’t know if you could trust us? We aren’t the ones who kept a massive secret from you. We took you in when we saw you needed a place to go. We fed you and clothed you.” “Lockwood, maybe you should cal-” George tries to suggest, but is cut off by Lockwood. “We made you a part of our family and this is who you paid us back? You keep secrets from us and you don’t trust us? How could you?” It’s Y/N’s turn to interrupt the boy, “I’m sorry, Lockwood. I really wanted to tell you. But after keeping it a secret for so long, all my secrets in tangled themselves into one giant ball and I wasn’t sure how to tell you guys. I’m sorry.” 

The continual anger and frustration on Lockwood’s face causes tears to stream down her face. “I want you out of the house by the time that I get back,” he threatens, opening the door quickly and pushing his way past the waiting Penelope. George runs after him, “Lockwood, wait. Be reasonable.” As she watches Lockwood go, Y/N seeks comfort in Lucy’s arms. “I will go back home with you, but at least let me get my stuff from my room first, please,” she begs her waiting mother. Penelope nods, “Don’t expect to see any of them again because you are never coming back here. And I already have Jenna coming over with NDAs for them to sign.” Y/N meekly nods her head and lets Lucy guide her upstairs to her room to pack. “You don’t have to go with her. We can argue with her for you to stay here,” Lucy reasons, not wanting to see her best friend go. Y/N shakes her head sadly, “There is no arguing with the great Penelope Fittes. And even if we did convince her. I don’t think Lockwood wants me here anymore.” 

“Nonsense, he just needs some time to cool down.”

“Lucy, he’s never been so mad at me before. I don’t think that’s the case. I really want to stay, but for the sake of Lockwood, I’m going to go.” 

Lucy develops the girl in a tight hug and starts to silently cry, “But if you go, I’ll never get to see you again.” 

“I know. I’m sorry, I don’t want to leave you either. My mother can’t take my phone away at least. It’s how she yells at me for not doing well in my lessons when she is too lazy to be bothered to actually come down to see me. So we can call each other,” Y/N offers with tears in her eyes. Lucy nods her head in the crevice of Y/N’s neck and begins to help the other girl pack. “You can keep this lipgloss, I know how much you love it. And I can always get more later,” Lucy hands the lipgloss over to her and now it is her turn to give the massive hug. “Thank you.”

The girls are quick to finish packing and then bring everything downstairs to see a black SUV with tinted windows already waiting for her. The only person outside is Penelope’s assistant, Jenna. “Y/N, your mother wants you in the car. And Miss Carlyle, I need you and your co-workers to sign the papers and drop them off at the Fittes building by tomorrow evening. If not, then we will send our whole legal team after you.” Lucy takes the papers with a nod of her head and gives Y/N one last hug. Y/N returns it tearfully and pulls away to get into the car. Lucy has no choice but to watch as her friend gets into the car and is driven away from her life. 

——

Y/N slowly unpacks all of her stuff back into her big old empty bedroom. Without the presence of Lucy in her room, she isn’t sure if she is going to able to go to sleep here anymore. She had gotten so used to sharing her space with someone else that it felt weird to be alone. Penelope walks up behind her daughter and moves her hair over to one shoulder. “I know it’s hard now, my dear, but I promise that you will soon see why I have to do what I do. I am only trying to protect you. See how fast Lockwood turned on you when he found out the truth,” Penelope says in an attempt to make her daughter feel better. Y/N jerks out of her mother’s touch, “It wasn’t Lockwood’s fault. If I hadn’t kept it a secret, then he wouldn’t have felt so betrayed by me. They cared for me and loved me no matter if I had a talent or not. They protected me even when they let me go outside of the house, which is more than you have ever done. I may be biologically related to you, but they are my family by choice.” 

Penelope looks at her daughter with a scornful look on her face, “Say whatever you want, but you are never going to see those hooligans again. I have had the common sense of hiring on-site bodyguards who will be watching you twenty-four hours a day. You won’t be able to sneeze without me knowing. So don’t even try to pull that trick again. Is that understood?” Y/N narrows her eyes at her mother. “Whatever you say, mother.” 

——

“Lockwood, it wasn’t that big of a secret. It’s not like it harmed any of us anyways,” Lucy rationales, looking at him with the hope that he would agree. Lockwood does not, “It’s not about the secret itself, Luce. It is about the fact that she didn’t think that she could trust us with it.” It’s George’s turn to try to get Lockwood to forgive Y/N. “Well, how could she? Trust is earned and although she may trust us with certain things, a big secret like that is something that takes time to earn. Her whole life she’s never had to learn to give someone her trust, so why are we expecting her to get it perfect the first time around that she’s learning how?” Lockwood sighs in defeat, “I just thought we had a special connection that would make her trust me a little more. But I guess not.”

George and Lucy know that they aren’t a part of the we that Lockwood mentions and they now fully understand what is bothering him. “It doesn’t matter anymore anyway. I never want to see her again,” Lockwood promises. “Come on, we have an agency to run and a new assistant to hire.” Lucy and George watch as Lockwood pushes his true feelings away and tries to fill his sadness with work. They have no idea how to help him or Y/N. 

[killakalx]

I’ve been thinking

What about opposite au?

Like, sorority!reader and loser!dick and the only reason he’s popular is because he’s rich and that’s why he needs everyone to like him and reader who’s like a player and has Dickie wrapped around her new manicured nails that he paid for

Or plug!reader with Roy, she’s feeding into his addiction but at this point it’s not the drugs he wants it’s you. He thinks you just have super cheap supplies but really you just think he’s kinda cute so it’s like 50% every time he buys

And ngl AK!Reader with Jason were Bruce saves Jason on time so joker takes someone else which is reader and reader goes through the Arkham knight back story (I haven’t played the games so I don’t really know much about this so I can’t add on)

But I thought it would be a cool concept of instead of the boys being like players and the hot big guy reader was and the roles were reversed?

I’m running low on ideas so sorry I haven’t been active 😞 I haven’t gotten inspired yet but I have been catching up on The Boys series and the new invincible season as well. But Frenchie and Red could do what ever they want to me owbalanck I think I have a thjng for pathetic men it’s getting bad (no it’s not I wish pathetic men were real 💔)

-🫶

i actually think about this very often and i got excited when i saw this ask… then it slipped my mind to share my response 😭

for reader and fratboy!dick i think it’s more of a middle ground. so yes, dick is rich and popular and a player on every level, but the reader’s the same way sometimes. doesn’t let him have his fun until after he’s paid for her hair and nails yk? he likes someone on his level that he has to chase since he’s so used to getting what he wants from women with no effort, even if he doesn’t admit it. loser!dick grayson though… he’d be such a sweetheart. i see the vision

i loveeee love love love plug!reader but i imagine it with jason more often. walk with me 🙏🏽 you’re the one that gets jason into it. he’s a friend on campus, finals just ended and you can see it in his face how badly he needs a break, and at first he feels guilty (bc in all honesty i don’t think jason fucks with drugs fr) but he’s convinced himself getting high every now and then is worth it if it leads to him lazy lapping at your cunt. the drugs just make the oral fixation ten times worse yk

++ pleaseeee don’t be sorry for inactivity bc i haven’t written anything in what feels like five years 😭 “i think i have a thing for pathetic men” we know. trust

[lunebloodworth]

Because I’m just a poor obsessed boy, have the interaction I WISH Joan and Abe would have-

Abe: I don’t understand!!! I’m finally doing everything right and you’re STILL going after him!! You’ve liked me for far longer so why do you STILL GO AFTER JFK?!?

Joan: BECAUSE HE’S THE ONLY PERSON THAT’S EVER LISTENED TO ME!

Abe: What are you saying?

Joan: On Prom night, 20 years ago when I finally realized what I was doing to myself, I just wanted to be alone because that’s all I felt I deserved. You still weren’t listening to me even when I was being somebody I couldn’t recognize. And just when I thought I had nobody at all… he came to me. He actually paid attention to me and listened to what I had to say. And he likes me for who I am, not when I’m crying for attention from someone who didn’t even care about a WORD I have to say. And I recognize that you’re changing, but it’s not for the reasons I would’ve hoped you’d wanna change. You’re no better than I am when I had 50 pounds of makeup on my face. You’re just trying to win my attention back, Abe. And I can’t accept your feelings. As MUCH as I like you, I’m finally growing. I want to be happy, and I want you to be happy too. But this… it won’t make either of us feel any better.

Abe: Joan…

Joan: I think we need a break, Abe. A long break. I wish you the best, I hope you do some good thinking. Goodbye Abe.

[piercingnovember]

i’m stuck again. it’s selfish of me to feel stuck but who am i but myself. who can i understand in the ways i understand me. i wish i could kill myself. most days it doesn’t feel worth it to keep trying. the loneliness is eating me alive. its killing every joy i’ve ever felt. the anger and the depression overcome me, they overcome anything i could feel.

i’ve tried to be positive and look at life differently but every time i do, someone reminds me that i shouldn’t think happy thoughts. they tell me im stupid and young and unrealistic.

i wish i was not in a relationship with an addict. i thought about saying “in love with” but at this point im not sure. grief is so heavy and it hangs off his body but why must i throw away any pieces of optimism or joy.

today he told me to be quiet when i laughed loudly and joyfully and then got angry at me for - well - becoming silent. how am i supposed to live as a perfect person. i think what’s expected of me is being a caring machine. he wants me to be perfect in the way a mother should be (but never is). nostalgia is lying to him about what he had so he takes the anger out on me for not filling the shoes that have never actually been walked in before. it’s exhausting. i just want to be a machine.

i think it’s because i don’t care about him anymore. i just don’t. my empathy ran out years ago when he showed his cruelty time and time again and it’s been dwindling me down.

sometimes i just want to cry when i think of how he’s stolen my youthful joy. he hated it so he carved it out of me. im only me when im away from him but is that even true? maybe the hateful, unempathetic, empty person that i am with him is now the truth.

i don’t know what to do for him. how do you act when someone has stolen your kindness. how do you act when they demand you find some? fucking thief. i cannot pull kindness from nowhere because i expect machines as well. we’re alike in that way.

i hate his grief and he hates my apathy. we don’t like the complicated shit. i’m the selfish one. i know that.

tonight we fought (reasons mentioned previously about the silence following the request for silence) and as he cursed and yelled at me i said that thing you should never say to anyone. and i don’t even know if i think it’s true. i told him that he’s using his grief as an excuse to be an asshole - to tell and fight and binge drink and always say that i’m the fire starter. that’s when he told me he can’t even look at me.

we’re on vacation. which i also fully paid for as an escape for him. and we have almost an entire week left. what am i supposed to do with an empty pit in me feeling so alone. this must be a fraction of how he feels.

[anthonysstupiddailyblog]

Anthony’s Stupid Daily Blog (402): Sun 23rd Apr 2023

Idea for a heckle put-down if I ever try stand up: If you don’t shut up I’m going to make your face bloodier than the abortion your mother wishes she could have afforded 

Another taxi ride to work today because I can’t get in touch with the mechanic to fix the bike. The driver did actually show up on time today but fuck me he was weird. He spoke like his voice box had been riddled by smoking and also he chuckled warily after every fucking thing he said 90% of which I couldn’t make out anyway. During the morning meeting the health and safety officer was given the floor to speak his mind in the importance of health and safety, something he’s been doing a lot more lately. This guy really loves health and safety, like he LOVES it. He has the delivery of a childrens tv presenter and he always looks like he gets some sort of almost sexual gratification out of giving people tips on how to remain safe at work. Mercifully I got sent down to shipping straight away so didn’t have to put up with any stowing bullshit today. Once again the lass in charge said to me “You’re trained to use the scanners aren’t you?” and for the 785th consecutive time I shook my head and said “Nope”. The lass sent me to my station and made no attempt to organise for me to be trained in the scanners ensuring that she will ask me if I’ve been trained in them for a 786th time. Half way through the shift the conveyor belt stopped working and no parcels were being sent down so I decided to go over to the lass and ask her if she fancied training me on the scanners since there was no work to be done anything. And so began the rigorous, intense, highly important training and five long minutes after starting the training I was declared fully trained. Holy fuck I can’t believe it. Five minutes. Six months they’ve been unable to set up some “training” (which was basically just showing me which buttons to press before scanning which package / trolley and this whole time it only would have taken five minutes! The same amount of time it would have taken me to work out what the twist was going to be in a Shayamalan film! Why they didn’t just make time to train me themselves is anyones guess. I spent the rest of the day wandering around the stow section loading boxes into trolleys and scanning them off which is a pretty sweet way to get paid for doing as close to Jack shit as possible. While I was “working” I started thinking about other stuff I want to cross off my bucket list. One thing I want to do is actually a three parter. I want to go to visit Baltimore in order to visit the house Edgar Allan Poe lived in, his grave and the pub where he was last seen alive. This will be quite tricky to organise because there are no travel agents that organise flights from Newcastle to Baltimore (bloody Brexit!). If I were to do this then I would probably need to go from Newcastle to London, then London to Paris, then Paris to Amsterdam, then Amsterdam to New York, then New York back to Amsterdam again then finally Amsterdam to Baltimore. I might have also found a way to start making the most out of my trips abroad. This year I plan on beginning to follow American football. Originally I had the Denver Broncos in mind to follow as their logo is the nicest and will look the best in tattoo form should I choose to get one some day. Sadly I’ve looked up things to do in Denver should I choose to travel there to see one of their games and it’s not as rife with adventure as LA was. I think the most exciting thing that happens in Denver is that every Thursday the local library gives away free cupcakes if it’s not raining. So what I might do instead is start following the Baltimore Ravens because not only would going to see one of their home games also give me a reason to go to see Poe’s famous landmarks but the team are named after Edgar Allan Poe ffs duh!

[endversewinchester]

More carelessness with Lupin’s condition. “I wish it was a full moon” like that’s not a very painful process for Lupin, but rather some fun event. I truly think the prank (which again, is moments away) came from how comfortable and careless they all grew with his lycanthropy. Sirius told snape because he got too comfortable. Too cocky. And then when he told James, he got a reality shock.

Marauders fandom seems to think the boys bully Snape out of jealousy (James) and loyalty (Sirius) and that seems to be the pattern here. James is the one that suggests it as an alternative to sate boredom.

Peter doesn’t care either way but he’s going to tag along because he’s afraid to be on the other side of it. And with Lupin, we can see their behavior truly bothers him but he is afraid of losing his friends instead.

Snape’s reaction highlights it’s not the first time. Peter, again, the stereotypical bad guy, likes beating on others to feel good but he isn’t brave enough to do so himself. Lupin wants to d-

More of that dynamic I pointed out. James starts. Sirius tags along. No excuses either way, it’s just how it works.

Go Lily go! Also the change in James’ behavior when he sees Lily is very telling as to what started this. He likes her, but not enough not to bully one of her best friends, or mock him right in front of her openly. Which means he’s most likely doing this over her.

1) Lupin is really not impressed. I see why they drew a friendship between him and Lily for the movies. She understood him more than the boys did in some ways.

2) Lily is right in what she said.

3) That was just sad. “I won’t be a bully if you go out with me”. You’re probably desperate but she’s not a prize, James. Good that she shuts you down immediately. Sirius probably said “bad luck” that she caught you halfway through this.

4) The rivalry is flying high. I’m not upset Snape sliced his face.

You want her to go out with you? Behaving like this? The audacity in this man. Sirius doesn’t care either way. He’d stop only if James stops. But James, with actual interest in this? Hell nah. You were a nasty kid.

Snape said that in anger but he has no right. Not even because she was helping him. You don’t call people slurs just because you feel like it. And then she went down to his level and paid it back.

James, again. The audacity. You caused this mess now you want to play hero? Good on her for calling it out. You’re trying too hard to look cool. Some of my side of the fandom (marauders) excuse his behavior with snape, so there you have it in canon. It isn’t just Snape. It’s anyone he feels like bullying. Big yikes. She’s right. You both suck.

“But I’m not racist!!!” Being racist isn’t the only way to be an asshole.

Sirius trying to comfort him would be cute if the scenario was different, but it highlights loyalty. James taking out his anger over his own behavior on Snape is just… proving Lily right about you dude.

Yeah. Sorry about that, Harry. Snape didn’t want you to see the memories for that reason….. maybe not. I think he didn’t want you to make fun of him for it. Either way. You shouldn’t have seen. The image you had of your dad would remain.

[chellyfishing]

I FINISHED THE THING in-depth thoughts and full spoilers for a two decade-old game ahead, god this is so long

let’s get a few criticisms out of the way first cause i do have a few minor notes: va stuff. the voice for ada is not the same as in 2 remake and all due respect to the new actress the performance is just not as good. it would bother me for continuity reasons as well, but the va in 2 was white while this one is actually east asian, so i figure that’s why a recast was done, in which case, i get it. i just wish the performance had been as good. that feels so mean. it’s fine! it’s not bad! it’s just a bit flat especially in comparison to the other one, which was honestly kinda flawless.

more unforgivably, dc douglas does not play albert wesker in this. they should have paid him whatever he wanted. he is synonymous with the role. i’m offended. jail.

(as a slight tangent, it’s possible that it doesn’t bother me that matt mercer is no longer leon because i never played 4 classic or, lol, 6, but it’s not like i’ve ever played a game with wesker in it either. this is the same actor as in 2 remake, and i really like how he plays leon. like obviously matt would also deliver a great performance, he is goat and i would die for him, but this actor just really kinda nails him for me. he has so many sarcastic quips and action one-liners but he never delivers them in a way that feels cocky or smart-ass, which i think is SO key for what makes leon so likable. he’s just tired!! he doesn’t get paid enough for the things he has to deal with!!)

uhh, the pacing. didn’t love it. this game is LONG. i couldn’t find how long my first play of village was but google tells me it’s about a 9-10 hour game and that sounds about right. my final save in 4 remake was just under 17 hours. i do take my time in my first play of games, but that’s long for a resi! still, that in itself is a neutral quality, and it’ll obviously get shorter now that i know what i’m doing, but it’s so action-heavy that it feels a bit relentless at times, especially across the middle bit. like, 3 remake is also pretty action-heavy, but it’s a fraction as long and paced itself very well. it was just a lot sometimes and i think slow, quiet parts are so vital to maintaining the correct level of tension in a game like this. otherwise it just becomes a bit tiring.

there were a couple major points in the game where i feel like it didn’t do an amazing job of telling me what the hell i was supposed to be doing. i got stuck straight out the gate the very first time i got to the village square cause my dumb ass was running around thinking i needed to find an exit. the worst imo was when the regeneradors first appear tho. like, you read in a note about the scope, but then you can’t get the scope until you’ve activated TWO of them. so i’m shooting at them, hoping that sufficient firepower will take them down, but it’s basically impossible without the scope or perhaps the devil’s own luck. you pretty much just have to kite them until you can upgrade your keycard to get into the room with the scope. they also probably could have done a better job with the location of the wrench, or maybe i’m just an idiot, but i was running around for awhile trying to find the damn thing. yeah i read a creecher swallowed a tool and then i immediately forgot about it, what do you want from me! the worst part is there is literally a wrench sitting on a table in the room with the power switch but no, not THAT wrench, you need the OTHER wrench ONLY.

so obviously one major change from the original was that they wanted to eliminate the QTEs, but i feel like as a result a lot of things happened in cutscene. i don’t know if there’s a one-to-one correlation here but that would be my guess anyway. like it just seemed like they had cool action-y things they wanted to include but couldn’t actually turn them into real gameplay so they said fuck it, cutscene, so there were times i was sitting there like, man i wish i was doing that cool thing right now.

hmm, the villains were a bit of a miss for me. i wouldn’t count mr. x or nemesis as villain CHARACTERS (they’re a gameplay mechanic slash boss more than anything), or the birkins honestly, but 2 does have chief irons, and 3 has mikhail, both of whom i thought worked really well in their respective roles. and then obviously in 7 and 8 you have some absolutely iconic villains in the bakers and the lords. so i guess maybe i have a kind of high bar for this series. ramón is easily the best of the lot, extremely memorable design, spends a lot of time taunting you over loudspeaker like really who does that? and even with him i think this game is just so jam-packed with boss-level encounters that he doesn’t... how to explain. i mean first of all he’s not even introduced until kind of late into things, and he’s really only around for that one stretch, if you get me? for my thoughts on the character of krauser, see below, méndez is just wish mr. x, and saddler’s whatever. i feel like the monsters are more memorable than the characters, really, which i guess is fine.

partially related to the two points above and ultimately kind of a mixed opinion, but luis was done so dirty. i’m pretty sure i knew he was going to die, and even if i didn’t the challenge for finishing chapter 11 is called “adios, caballero,” so i mean? but like. a knife in the back? after all that? just one little knife in the back? shove an herb in this man’s mouth! i get it, gameplay and story segregation, but it just felt sooooo cheap and convenient. from a storytelling standpoint, the primary purpose seems to be to make you, the player, hate krauser, because like, you can tell me he’s important to leon but a two-second flash in the opening scenes don’t help me know him from adam. i dunno, surely there were better ways to have done this. that having been said, his final scene did make me genuinely so emotional. it should feel as cheap and emotionally manipulative as the knife in the back but for whatever reason it didn’t. still, you could have had him give that speech before the fatal would and then at least killed him with a knife to the HEAD. or even better, “i’ll hold krauser off, you have to go save ashley! take this key!” or something? and then as you’re running away you see him get knifed in the gut and then later krauser taunts you with his lighter and you get it back after you finally defeat him?? somebody should pay me for this. anyway if you can kill someone with a single knife to the back in a cutscene, then what is to stop you from doing that to anyone. all of it is “because the plot says so,” and sometimes you need a better reason than that if you want to tell the best story you can! (but then he’s just sitting there with his lighter and you have to leave him and then the island blows up and baaaaawwwww. justice for luis.)

okay but quick note: mike? absolutely ejected from the helicopter before it went down and radioed for pickup. he’s fine and you can’t tell me otherwise.

moving past my own personal bugbears, i’m going to state what is perhaps my most controversial, spicy hot take ever, but i really like ashley. (controversial, yes, but surprising? as the only member of the sherry birkin defense league--she’s 12, you ghouls--i think not.) i liked ashley a lot! i liked her design, i liked her performance. she honestly was such a good sport given all the trauma. no, she’s no elizabeth comstock or miles tails per hour, but you tell her to shut herself in a locker and she barely even expresses distaste. she was doing her best!! and she needed to scream “LEON!” because then i knew she was in trouble! i also really, really liked her relationship with leon. he was so kind to her, and she tried so hard to help them both get out alive despite being way out of her depth. it was very big brother/little sister and i’m so here for it. team ashley. i hope she’s living her best life.

important! i finally figured out why i’m not into leon/ada even tho they are both bisexual bait: leon is asexual but not aromantic, and ada is aromantic but not asexual. the chemistry is all contradictory. so like, i’m not sitting over here invested in them overcoming their differences or whatever. also, leon is a puppy and ada eats puppies for breakfast.

some of the action set pieces seem goofy on paper, like ah yes, we must escape on a high-speed water scooter as an entire island collapses and explodes all around us. and yet, they made it work. mine cart rides? worked. harpooning a monster fish as it dragged you frantically around a lake? worked! fighting two giants over idk what is that lava? you better believe it worked!!

(oh, and i absolutely shot the water and got et by the giant fish. i had to do it once. i recommend it. peak comedy.)

speaking of the two giants tho, i almost had an absolute breakdown when i got to that fight, because i was severely lacking in ordnance, and i had bought a damn rocket launcher but it was in storage and this is for whatever ungodly reason the one merchant who doesn’t have a typewriter what the ACTUAL fuck. reloading my last helpful save would have lost me forty-fifty minutes and some pretty tough battles. i thought there was no way i could do it! anyway it turned out to be incredibly easy, and i didn’t even notice the switch to drop them in the lava until after i’d beat one and done severe damage to the other so i was like might as well finish this by hand. i basically only used my pistol and luis. it was fine.

i also thought i was gonna be trapped forever outside the room with the two blind guys, so i googled for strategies (“two blind guys at once?!”) and like, obviously those bells are put there to create distractions, but i was so focused on trying to use the cultists as bait that i hadn’t even tried them, and it turns out using the bell will actually stun the big guys when they run into it. so i circled around to get into position, hit the bell, both of them crashed into it, i started unloading my magnum into their backs, they were dead in seconds. didn’t even need a full clip. again, easy.

i know i complained about krauser above but really his boss fight is so unique. like, i struggled at first because he’s mr. don’t-bring-a-gun-to-a-knife-fight, so i was like, best not waste my ammo, i bet he’ll just parry or dodge all my shots, so i was trying to fight knife-only, and i used up my healing items and my armor was already busted after that first bit, and i’m like, clearly i’m doing something wrong. anyway once i mixed guns into it, it got a lot more doable and i could appreciate it a lot better. it’s grueling and man when he’d pop up and go SLOPPY! and pin you, that was bogus, but the whole thing just felt really different and neat. when i finally got to the last stage and he Revealed His True Form, i thought, oh good, finally, a straight-up boss fight, and then he’s still so quick and has multiple one-hit kills?? that chapter was the only one where my hit percentage was below 70 and i don’t even care because it doesn’t count. anyway, should have been more annoying than it was tho my zeal for it is somewhat mitigated by him having some cheap-ass moves, but still. i appreciate it a lot.

speaking of knives, i know at least non-diegetically it doesn’t work because you break and lose knives in resi2 remake but i like to pretend the combat knife you start with is, in fact, the one marvin gave you at the station.

as i said i take my time on first plays of any game, so i don’t care about rank, but when i got a B i was like oh! i must have done pretty well even so! anyway it turns out there is no C rank in this game.

oh, it probably goes without saying, but the sound design is, as always, perfection. if these people don’t have awards, they should, and if they do, give them more.

graphics are really good. one thing i’ve found even in games that have good graphics is that if you move your camera so that leaves or grass are right in front of it they look really bad because obviously those assets aren’t meant to be seen or examined up close, but in this game they actually still look good! it passed the leaf test.

i feel like i complained more than talked about the things i liked but i mean that’s always easier isn’t it? overall, just so so good. non-villain characters, performances, production quality, gameplay, variety of encounters, all so good. i don’t know where it ranks compared to the others i’ve played, but honestly i’m not sure i know how to rank those in comparison to each other either.

i’m sure i could say a lot more and i’ll remember twenty things i wanted to after i hit post but this is already a lot. i’m so pleased! happy birthday to me!! thanks capcom!

[thesecretattic]

Mannat from 31st Dec, 2015

Year 2015-2016 was the first & last new year I have ever celebrated I currently have high fever rn so I can’t type much again I wish I had someone to talk to… maybe another loner like me, cuz all others are having plans for tonight. So all my teens I was bullied and it went to so much extent that the geyser bursted and our bathroom caught fire twice (I’m sure you’ve read that) Anyway they would bully me on bbm but as a 15-16 year old I was like we are too old for all this… cuz they were bigger anyway but in actual sense it was indeed bullying and very toxic. On new years too I would get tortured with all sorts of texts, as a final resort I was told to lie and tell them I was celebrating NYE with new friends but one of them saw me running my daily errands so they started spamming me with more scathing messages such as “Go celebrate with your imaginary friends you forever loner” my childhood best friend would ask them to circulate this phrase repeatedly “A girl who can never have a best friend” anyway she did that cuz she had her older brother’s support who was again 7 yrs older than me and he was very intimidating, she used his help to turn everyone against me and make sure they would boycott me cuz i was on friendly terms with everyone and I wouldn’t back bich about them like her (she had that habit, she would even comment on people’s appearance and weight) she was very materialistic and she came to India like a spoilt brat from Dubai, she would shun and disparage all Indians that was her sole motto when they shifted here and since me and my brother were younger she would tried doing that with us too but as a next door neighbour and same bench partner at school she was in for a shock. Everyone at school believed I was some NRI from USA and someone started spreading those rumours in my new school as well cuz I was always that well versed and I would come up with all those ideas and thoughts which were prevalent only there (even when someone saw my work a few years ago like when I was 21-22 they said I couldn’t believe it was made in India it’s too sophisticated for here) so in school everyone would say you’re too classy all ur high profile words will go bouncers… you’ve recently come from US right? Etc etc. They weren’t being mean they would just start joking after that. I had a good circle till a certain age but then they started shuffling which I think is really wrong especially when there’s a lot of groupism cuz some ppl stick together and some don’t. They thought I’d recently shifted, me and my bro were used to buying imported stuff and we knew all the places where we would get them for cheap and we knew a lot of other things which she couldn’t handle, she almost challenged a 7 year old to show her prowess in Hollywood movies/trivia that too even adult ones while playing dumb charades.

We didn’t bother fighting or arguing we would let her win… she was always competitive and she would get jealous of my inexpensive fancy stuff even though she would get a lot of things from Dubai (because choice matters more) anyway she went extreme after growing up, my school had to be changed and I don’t want to get into more discussion but she’s the reason why I don’t have any friends. I also learnt about racism from a very early age that too within India, sorry she never considered herself an Indian. I once tried showing her Rihanna in my fav Magazine but she couldn’t take it so she flung it across the room and she thought I was good at fashion because of those mags. Nope! wrong, I would select my own clothes even as a toddler I’ve shared this before like Raven from that’s so Raven it was very relatable when she said that in one of her episodes, all other parents would ask for the same stuff when they would see my clothes on the cash counter. I started reading those magazines out of interest cuz I always loved fashion and I knew maximum items listed there were paid advertisements. As a 12 year old (I was a bit sassy) I would be like “All paid… all paid even the Chanel Sunglasses by Delhi Vasant Kunj store” I can’t write much there’s a lot to share haha funny stories too, she started getting magazines just to compete with me and she would even compare home appliances (show me a kid who’s interested in all that) next she would ask me what career I would like to pursue just to go around and tell everyone she wanted to take up that as well… she then started getting extreme, even now she is the first to copy trends and stuff cuz she thinks that is what I do even though she hasn’t seen me in recent years, Karma: I was an epicurean I loved trying out different cuisines so she would always get jealous whenever I would go out even though she knew I would cry a lot of tears before leaving due to my family eventually she took away all my friends and even the little bit of happiness I had on my previous childhood birthdays (I last celebrated the 15th one or so) and I went on dating apps to socialise cuz girls are very jealous and hostile in India now I’ve realised even guys have a very poor mentality and she too had those traits even if she was from Dubai anyway I went there and got bed ridden and she got her wish I STOPPED going out to restaurants and stuff and she would then POST her own restaurant and food images OBSESSIVELY and then Karma struck back to her and we had Covid when NO ONE WAS ALLOWED to go out anymore but even during cov times she tortured me and she dragged one of her friends to whichever cafe was open during lockdown just to share images. When I wrote my previous book and published it (cover editing layout typesetting website whatever I could manage or do) she couldn’t take it so she created a fake writer’s acc with all those previous society’s friends and came there to mock and harass me. Even now she copies all these stupid trends cuz she thinks I might be doing that, the world is currently a fashion disaster and no offence so are you. I don’t want to ruin anyone’s new year the way she ruined mine I hope she is not reading this. Anyway, I could go on for hours, I actually haven’t shared the dark side of this story, there’s a lot more.

My hands are getting cold cuz I can’t type much. I have shared the following stories previously but all the other posts have now obsoleted them. Coming back to 2015 31st Dec I realised I wasn’t the only one who was crying in the car due to lack of friends, I saw an old uncle crying on the signal too cuz it was almost midnight and he wasn’t able to make any sale… he was selling party stuff. I was 20, someone in the car had cleanliness OCD back then so I couldn’t buy anything. I came up with an idea which led to a very unique resolution that year, I knew Harsh’s birthday was coming on 5th so I picked 3rd to like make this “Mannat” but of a different kind not where you tie threads, I’m sharing this cuz its a sweet memory and I hardly have such memories. Back then we wouldn’t get those Nutella snack packs consisting of biscuits and stuff☹️🥺😡 so I just got big jars of Nutella and I went to Carter Road… you would always find these little urchins there selling colouring books and stationary, they would even sometimes nag you to buy them something from those stalls. I once bought one of them some yogurt but the yogurt wala 😡😡😡 the reason I’m calling him that is because he was really bad he was just looking down upon that kid and that’s not because his height was small or he was unable to reach the counter, I had told him to give him whatever he liked… don’t treat them like that or I won’t even pay for my yogurt! I had already made the payment that’s why he was acting smart I was keeping a watch from outside 👀 It was some chappi employee btw what did he think of himself?

I went there on 3rd Jan hoping these kids would be around but looks like they were still decompressing from 31st bash or they were probably too smart to only come out on weekends, unfortunately Carter road was entirely empty that day… then I spotted one toddler coming from the opposite side, she crossed very fast cuz they are very adept at all these things, she came to me and she was just standing there cuz I don’t think she had even learnt how to talk she was too small like those Chucky dolls. I gave her the Nutella but I had to explain to her that it’s like chocolate cuz she was like I said too small to understand anything, I was afraid someone might snatch it from her so I kept a watch, but she went back properly to her mother and on her way there she opened it and tasted it (this was the fun part) no child would resist something like that. She tasted it then she hugged the jar like left right, I was like how cute 🥰 people rightly say Nutella is like happiness. She turned out to be smarter than I thought cuz she was holding it properly and she went straight to her mother. I was hoping he would get a good opportunity or tv show or whatever he wanted to do cuz it was like a Mannat an exchange of favours with God and it would’ve made 2 people happy or in fact more than 2, I was happy a few onlookers were happy… but God just wanted that thread???!! Since it was something sweet, he should’ve gotten a sweet role to play not toxic ajinomoto I will never have Maggi in my whole life (ref. 22nd Dec + posts) I’m feeling giddy like throwing up, happens when you have Maggi too. Bye. I can’t write further I’d already taken a few breaks in between.

- Zara Sauleh

[thoughtfulstudentsalad]

until the battle with South Kai. But yes it’s true that he had COUNTLESS reasons for that and I don’t blame him.

Exactly. That castle/South Kai battle period was also the absolute worst point to accommodate. At that point her presence had become a reminder/reason for his sudden death and how she would waltz in taking the throne because divine powers are superior. Su-Won isn't stupid, deep down he knew it was only a matter of time, but he hated that. So he was determined to resist that bitter truth for as long as possible.

And so this incident of betrayal and his father's instructions about friends and emotions came together in his head. Then he also found out that his mother ratted him out to Il. He formed a whole new view on close people.

I completely forgot about his mom! Whenever he learned of it, Su-Won might have realized the cracks in his parents' marriage and wondered if his mother ever even loved him. It must have been another huge blow. Familial ties probably lost meaning.

He definitely has severe trust issues

Indeed. It's funny because Hak is actually the same way.

was inclined to believe that Yona and Hak would betray him too or turn away from him.

Yeah, he no longer could easily take them at face value. And I don't blame him either considering how Il and Yon-Hi handled the situation.

(Unrelated, but I also think that Su-Won telling Lili that he is at ease with her BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T HIDE HER THOUGHTS also kind of hints at him having trust issues)

Yona and Hak for sure used to feel like family, but he understood they were closer to one another and Il. There are so many instances of him thinking that.

Even after Hak told him to marry Yona, Su-Won really thought that Hak would still be angry at him lol. After all Hak was always concerned about Yona and Il more, and Yona was the same. In fact I'm guessing Yona's confession to Su-Won also might have made him think like, "why me and not Hak? Nah, she clearly likes Hak" Unconfirmed but I think he might have brushed it off partly because he believed she wasn't serious and she would forget him quickly anyways.

I’m not sure about Hak. Even now, after so many events, he is still the last one to understand the reason for Il being killed.

Yeah, Hak and Yona have still not communicated much about how that went down or about Il killing Yu-Hon either.

When Judo told him the truth, Hak started wondering if he had never truly known King Il, but we never saw anything more from Hak on that. I'm hoping that interacting with Su-Won more will make Hak learn more about Il.

In his internal thoughts, he still NEVER acknowledged Il as a bad king.

Hmm. He did hear complaints, and understood them, but he liked Il, and after this incident, he respected him. Maybe Hak thought it wasn't in his place to ask Il why he ruled the way he did?

Here, Hak says that he's not related to Mundok, he's a commoner, he doesn't have power, and he does also say that Il is too bubbly during the tribal meetings and he doesn't want to listen.

But you know, that excuse might have worked before he became a general.

But after? Was he not going to tribe meetings and discussing politics? Was King Il not present? Did he not have more responsibilities? Not saying he had to change Il's policies all by himself but yeah, definitely he could have started a real discussion among the tribal leaders and got King Il thinking, and... he never did...?

I know Akatsuki no Yona never delves that much into Hak's perspective of like, his job as a general, it's always about who he serves, but that's a weakness I will say it has. There's still so much about Hak as a person unrelated to Yona especially, that I wish we knew. Because I think Hak has potential to be a very deep character. I'm not saying that he is a bad character, but the author never paid attention to his past, his relationship with Mundok, etc. and while his relationships with the dragons aren't bad by any means, it's still related to Yona somehow. I need something that's from him alone. That's another reason why I was pleasantly surprised by the arc where he went to get the Senjuso. Yes, he was doing it for Su-Won, and Yun was accompanying for a bit, but regardless, Hak was finally getting his own screen time.

But I digress. Back to the subject, Hak wasn't even at the Wind Tribe during the time he was a general, they were looking after themselves pretty fine, but he was in the Sky Tribe. He was a strong dude, training himself to fight in the military I guess whenever Su-Won ascended. But his only job at that point was protecting Yona, not Su-Won. He had more free time on his hands, and could have definitely done more.

And the other question is, why didn't King Il confide in him more? Reservely, what made Il think, "This Hak guy better be the next king!" (it is implied) other than the reason being that he would protect King Hiryuu? What about the other dragon warriors?

he is still the last one to understand the reason for Il being killed

Yeah, true. But I think that is also due to Su-Won being the killer. If it was a rando, he would still be upset, but might have been more understandable.

And he does recognize that Su-Won had done better things for the country compared to Il.

But clearly, he thought there were ways to talk things out.

And if Soo-won confessed his thoughts about Il only to Hak, I don’t think he would ever go against Yona and Il, no matter how reasonable Soo-won’s arguments would be. between Yona and Soo-won, Yona was still the priority. convincing himself that everything would be fine as long as his loved ones were fine (especially Yona).

Yeah, I agree that Hak would haven't turned on Yona and Il, and if Su-Won started confiding about how much he hated Il or whatever, I'm not sure Hak would know what to tell him or how to handle it.

And not gonna lie, I can imagine that even if Su-Won already had a fiancée/explained that he didn't want to marry the daughter of his father's killer/that he saw Yona as a sister/didn't want to be the king or whatever excuse he gave, Hak would probably not take it well.

I myself wouldn’t call Il “cowardly”, that’s not it. In fact, he was a strong-willed idealist. However, a mere ideal in one’s head has no value without real actions. Il was more useless and passive than cowardly.

Agreed.

Hero vs Villain

The Antagonist Soo-won in the manga is the "I'll save the world for you" type of guy. Basically every hero ever. He loved his dad, so he became the king who saved the Kingdom just as his dad wanted him to.

The main protagonist Hak on the other hand is the "I'll burn the word down to save her" type guy. Classis villain. He killed anyone trying to harm Yona to save her life on the day of the regicide. He would kill anything and anyone for Yona.

Yet, we love Hak and Yona, cheered for their growth and development and was appalled by Soo won's betrayal. I just adore how Mizuho Kusanagi plays with perspective. Akatsuki no Yona was a villains perspective all along. From the beginning, she was the spoilt princess of a selfish king leading a kingdom to ruin. Hak knew this, being a generals son, he was very aware how how things were outside the castle but he didn't care, if it meant Yona would be happy.

[cynical-cemeteries]

there’s a part of me that almost wishes l. laphlaes would be paid so it’d be easier to get him since i have money i can spend

but there’s Also another part of me that thinks gacha would make sense because of the “through the rift of time” quote

But Also. there’s Another part of me that wants him F2P but NOT through gacha because tbh…we don’t get enough methods in the game to farm for linkstones a substantial amount

[wtfsteveharrington]

coffee and mint chapstick / bf!steve harrington x fem!reader x robin

content: listen... the family video era of robin and steve? it’s iconic. that’s why you hang around at night and not because you hate being away from them. things are normal until you wind up in a particular section you shouldn’t be.

- same energy as part one. threesome but exclusively robin x reader and steve x reader sexual interactions. just the reader getting passed between the two. have y’all heard that the eiffel tower is beautiful???

steve x reader - kissing, unprotected sex, spanking, choking, rough sex, marking, spitting, hand job, swallowing

robin x reader - oral (both receiving), nipple sucking, 69, praising, degrading. just general robin cheekiness.

also i feel like steve gives more dom energy, robin has semi - nervous switch energy, and reader is vocal sub but that’s up for reader to decide :)

authors note: idk if all readers have actually been in a family video but i went a lot as a kid. they pretty much all have two rooms off the main floor - one had video games and one had adult videos. needed to add that in for context,,, also lets pretend family video doesn’t have cameras okay thank u.

ps i think i like part two more than part one hopefully this lives up

word count: almost 4.5k

part one | part three | part four

You didn’t work at Family Video but you may as well start clocking in with how much time you spent there. It was already a little out of hand before the party, but after? 

Time was just better spent with Steve and Robin. 

You’re sitting up on the side of their front counter, kicking your feet through the air while Robin works on rewinding the returned newly VHS and Steve works on replacing the ripped up stickers on a few cases. 

Periodically you’d catch Robin’s eye and exchange this giddy little smile. You were wearing a skirt today on purpose and Robin’s mind would drift back to the other night every so often. 

Steve’s pouting across the small desk space, slouching his shoulders over and walking towards you with heavy feet. “I just don’t understand how people mess up the stickers. Like who looks at a ‘new release’ sticker and thinks hmm wouldn’t that be fun to rip in half.” The store is empty so he knows he doesn’t have to worry about offending any customers. It was later on Wednesday night and there had been a storm threatening to rain on Hawkins any minute now all day. Needless to say people weren’t exactly rushing in. 

He’s making you laugh, your boyfriend leaning back into you and wrapping your arms around his chest. “Awh, you poor thing. Having to put stickers on a box? How do you handle suffering like this?” Steve’s grabbing your knees, giving them a firm squeeze at the teasing. “You’re literally not even working. It doesn’t get much easier than just sitting here and looking pretty.” You lean in, pressing a kiss to the skin where his neck meets his shoulder. Then another one further up his neck. Robin feels her ears heating up as she catches the intimate act out of the corner of her eye. 

“You’re getting paid, Steve. This poor girl’s only reason to be here is us.” You’re laughing now, nuzzling your face into Steve’s neck before glancing up at Robin. “You should take it as a compliment. I’m literally the best customer this store has ever seen.” All three of you are laughing now, your hands resting flat against Steve’s chest as you feel it rumbling. You move to touch the edges of his vest, giving it a firm tug. “I do wish I had one of these though. Feeling a little left out of the club.” 

Steve’s stepping out of your grasp, giving you a dramatic twirl before grabbing the vest and tugging it together in the center of his chest. “Oh, this ole thing? Sorry, Babe. Only Family Video’s finest employees get one of these.” Robin’s nodding her head, ejecting the VHS now that it’s fully rewound. “It’s true. Wearing this token shade of green is one of the highest honors in the land.” Steve’s dramatically motioning over to Robin, giving you a very pointed look. “See? We just couldn’t expect you to understand.” 

You click your tongue against the roof of your mouth, giving them a dramatic eye roll. There wasn’t much you knew about the layout of this store, it all honesty you typically just went right to your spot on the desk. You did know that down the hallway on your left lead to a bathroom and a room with a curtain for the door. Surely that’s where the uniforms were hiding? You’d show them. 

One thing about your boyfriend, he’s gotten good at predicting what you’re going to do next. His grip on his vest is loosening and he’s already reaching out to try and keep you in place. “Don’t even think about it. There’s no uniforms back there.” Steve’s stepping closer to you and it’s now or never. You jump down from the desk, ducking his arms before darting towards the back of the store. Robin’s clearly entertained, letting out this gasp that gets cut off with bright laughter. Your boyfriend however? Screaming and cursing your name. 

He’s ripping the curtain open seconds after you got into the room and finds you stopped dead in your tracks. Your eyes scanning the room filled with cheesy porno titles and women posed just right to tease the potential viewer into buying that particular film. “I told you there’s literally not a singular vest in here. Now get out and maybe I’ll let you try mine on.” And maybe Steve could have convinced you to get out, had Robin not been ducking under his arm that’s holding the curtain open to meet you in the room. She wasn’t a minute late because she locked up the front door early. No, she didn’t lock you guys in here alone at all.

“Kind fuckin’ crazy, right?” Robin’s looking around the room, letting her fingers drag across one cover she sneaks a peek at every shift. “There’s not a huge section of lesbian movies yet but at least I get the covers to enjoy.” Steve? In full protective dad mode. He can’t explain it... Sure, he’s seen you do a lot but there’s something about watching you stare at the movie covers that makes his ears hot and his cock twitch. “Okay, okay. You’ve had your fun. Let’s get back to the floor before Mrs. Dorris comes in to rent Casablanca again.”

You giggle, grabbing one of the tapes off the shelf and facing it towards the other two. “Or maybe we should recommend Star Whores: Battle of the Boner to her. Seems like a good one.” Robin’s laughing, this bright sound that you’re slowly but surely getting addicted to. “You’re joking, I haven’t even seen this one. Do you think they braided Princess Leia’s pubes? That would be like, totally iconic.” 

Steve’s huffing at the two of you, watching as you guys flip over the box to examine the cover. Robin’s hand is coming to the small of your back as she peeks over your shoulder at the movie. That’s the only reason she’s touching you. No other reason at all. 

Then, once again without fully thinking it through, you just drop a - “I wonder if we should have filmed the other night. We could be making money hand over fist, right? Getting paid to be between two pretty people, not a bad way to make a living.” Steve and Robin are both torn between blushing and getting their ego’s puffed by being called pretty. They both love being pretty to you. 

You know Robin’s nervous rambling? It’s back in full force. “There’s nothing like that in here. Not that I’ve uh-... I didn’t look for myself. There was-” She’s taking a deep inhale but not nearly as deep as the hole she was digging herself “- You know, there was a customer who was oddly after a scene like that. And I’m like so close to becoming Employee of the Month so I just try to go above and beyond for our customers.” 

Steve? He was giving her a pointed look, willing her to stop talking until, “What do you mean you’re Employee of the Month? I helped get Keith a date the other night. There’s no way that isn’t going to top getting people a good porno recommendation.”

Their bickering is about to pick up full force until they hear you gasp as you accidentally drop the VHS in your hand. And maybe you’re playing a risky game, thinking only with the dull throbbing between your legs that’s threatening to pick up any minute. The box just happened to land slightly under one of the displays. Which means you have to get down on your knees, leaning forward until your chest is pressed to the ground and your ass is in the air. 

The two stop their argument, instantly distracted by the sight of you fully displaying the fact that under your skirt is just this sheer mesh lilac panty leaving nothing to the imagination. Robin’s watching you with her jaw tight and doesn’t miss the way Steve has to shift his hips at the view either. “Did you guys know it’s like really dusty down here?” 

No response.

Steve knows that the two of you follow his lead and he has a choice to make in that moment. 

Steve’s glancing between you and Robin. A Robin who won’t meet her eye but he notices the way her chest is moving faster, the tips of her ears are a bright red, and her bottom lip is being bitten on so hard he’s wondering if she can’t taste blood.

Jesus Christ, she really does love girls.

And then there’s you. Who’s taking entirely too much time to pick up the box, rolling your ass forward as you go to reach for a bouncy ball that had rolled under the display as well. You’re seconds away from asking how they thought the ball ended up in here when Steve’s voice breaks the tension in the room.

“You know, if you wanted us to fuck you all you have to do is ask.”

Robin’s jaw drops and she’s looking over at Steve with wide eyes. He’s giving her yet another pointed look, aggressively holding out his hand towards you and mouthing “You want her too”.

This whole silent exchange happens in the time it takes for you to get back up to your kneeling position, facing the two. Your skirt is still hiked up on your thighs. Your soft thighs that now all Robin wants to do is kiss and Steve wants to bite. Your hair is fluffed up from being thrown over your shoulder and your eyes are already getting heavy from know what’s coming next. Just ready to be closed from pleasure.

“Fine. I want you two to fuck me.”

Steve’s the one who moves towards you first, dropping to his knees as well before grabbing your chin to pull you into a rough kiss. You’re moaning into his mouth, reaching out to run your hands up his thighs before your hands quickly find his the button of his pants. You’re so wrapped up in your boyfriend that you don’t realize Robin’s behind you now until you feel her hands slide up under your shirt and toying with the cup of your bra. You’re crying out into Steve’s mouth at the feeling of your nipple’s being tweaked by Robin’s cold fingers.

You’re pulling Steve’s cock out of his jeans, and he’s got a firm grip on your wrist before you can touch him. “You know better than that, Princess. Needs to be wet.”

Robin’s lips are on your neck now, teeth grazing your heated skin as Steve’s bringing your hand between your own thighs. They both watch as your hand disappears under your skirt and you moan as your fingers come in contact with your clit. You’re driving them both crazy.

They hear how slick you are as you slide your hand into your panties, your head falling back on robin’s shoulder as Steve digs his fingers into your thighs. It’s Robin’s voice that encourages you to keep touching yourself. “Have you thought about us like this? Touched yourself thinking about me and Steve taking turns with you?” You nod pathetically, so needy. Your hips are rocking on your own hand, Steve’s hand delivering a sharp smack to your thigh. His voice is firm, “Use your words when we talk to you.”

“Yes. Steve didn’t come over last night and I spent the whole night thinking of you two.” Part of Robin wonders if she shouldn’t feel dirty being a side piece in a way. Or maybe she did feel dirty and she liked that feeling.

Maybe this would feel way different if it wasn’t you and Steve.

He’s looking over at Robin, jerking his head in a motion for her to lay back before he tugs off his shirt. “Lay back and let our girl take care of you.” Our girl. The three of you will never get past how that makes you feel.

Robin? A mess. She’s scooting back and making quick work of taking off her pants and underwear while you slide your hand out of your panties to wrap around Steve. Lazily pumping his length through your fist. You lean forward, lifting your hips to help him take off your panties and catching his lips in a tender kiss.

“Love you, Steve. Love you a lot.” He’s giving you a breathless chuckle before pressing a kiss to your bottom lip, your chin, then to the corner of your mouth. You know it takes a lot of trust for him to be okay with this. “I love you too, Beautiful.”

He’s rocking his hips up into your fist, gently pushing you until you’re facing Robin and your ass is pointed towards him. Robin’s got a hand covering between her legs and the other one semi nervously holding her bra tight against her chest. “Listen. You can’t look at my tits, Harrington.” Robin doesn’t have the comfort of being crossed this time around. The three of you only drunk on each other. She’s a nervous girl sometimes. Threesomes with her best friend and her best friend’s girlfriend who she’s kinda got a crush on? It’s a nervous situation.

Steve’s scoffing now, twisting up his face in confusion. “Can’t see your - Robin! My literal whole cock is out! My nipples are out!” She’s using the hand that’s still holding her bra to flip Steve off, making you giggle as you rock your ass back towards Steve. “Yeah your nipples are different.” You’ll never get over the switch that happens from being so comfortable with one another to those brief moment’s where Robin’s nerves get the best of her.

Leaning up, you effectively cut Robin off by distracting her with a kiss. “Can I see your pretty boobies, Robin? Just wanna kiss them.”

You’ve got her nodding now, caught up under your spell. You take a moment to kiss down her chin, her jaw, her neck, fluttering kisses across her collarbone. Robin’s letting go of the death grip on her bra and you give such an appreciative hum of approval as her nipples come into view. “See? So pretty.”

Robin’s convinced she’s going to combust as you wrap your lips around her rosy bud. Tongue swiping over the sensitive skin. She’s dragging her nails up your back, letting you take a moment to worship her left nipple before moving to her right. You feel Steve’s hand between your thighs now, pressing a finger into you while using his thumb to swirl around your clit.

He’s watching as you instantly start fucking yourself back against his finger and gives you another finger to wrap around. “M’gonna fuck you soon, get comfortable for me.”

You moan against Robin’s skin at his promise, your lips popping off of her nipple and you lean back up to get another kiss. “Can I eat you out again, Robin? Wanna keep practicing with you.” She’s nodding enthusiastically, practically shoving your head down towards her exposed pussy.

Steve waits until your arms are wrapped around Robin’s thighs and you’re pulling her core towards your mouth before taking his hand away from your pussy. Robin’s hands are rubbing your arms, savoring as you kiss her thighs. “You tasted different tonight. Minty? Kinda tasted like mint.” Nodding against her thigh, you move your kisses to either side of her mound. “Got something new the other nig-“

“Jesus Christ you two talk too much.” There’s a firm hand on the back of your neck that’s pushing your face into Robin’s pussy. You hear her gasping above you and feel Steve’s hips giving you a sharp stroke. Both of them effected by the action. “Holy shit, Harrington. Did you just-…. Did you just shut up your girlfriend with my pussy?” He’s gripping your hips, holding onto the tender flesh best he can before pounding his length into you. Steve can’t even dignify Robin with a response, afraid if he really acknowledges what happened that he’d be finishing way too soon. 

Robin’s throwing her head back once the shock wears off, your name coming off of her lips in a way that’s so deliciously broken. She’s wet for you. You drag your tongue up her slit, getting right to work.

Funny thing about Family Video? It’s carpeting fucking sucks. You’re almost getting a little over stimulated between Robin’s wet pussy on your tongue, the carpet burn forming on your knees, and Steve relentlessly jackhammering his hips into you. So rough and possessive and maybe trying to show off.

Robin’s hand is coming down to put a finger on either side of her clit since your arms are still wrapped around her thighs. Holding her against your face and holding on for dear life as Steve fucks his cock into you. “Let me take care of my clit. Dip your head down for me, Honey. Good. Keep lickin’ me like that.” You’re obedient. Tongue lapping through Robin’s folds, dipping into her hole. She shows her affection towards you by bringing her free hand to rub your back, your shoulders, stroking your head, just gently checking in on you while you take care of both of them.

She’s cooing at you when she feels your tongue stop against her pussy after one particular thrust, your both just resting open against her, “I know, Honey. Steve’s doing such a good job fucking you, isn’t he?” Let’s all be honest, Steve eats up praise. His hips are getting tired but he’d be damned if he’s giving up now. “Don’t you want to come for him? Show us how good you feel, Baby. You love being this filthy, don’t you? Eating me out while your doting boyfriend fucking you?” 

You can feel yourself dripping down your inner thighs. There’s a stray thought somewhere in your brain praying you don’t leave a stain on the carpet. 

Steve’s delivery a sharp smack against your ass, his handprint already taking the form of a red wilt on your ass. “Such a good girl for us, aren’t you? Letting us use your body like this. C’mon, Sweetie. Come on my cock.” 

You’re resting your sweaty forehead on Robin’s inner thigh, pressing haphazard open mouth kisses to her heated skin when you’re able to think about anything else besides Steve stretching you out. He’s bringing up a knee, slightly adjusting his position and now he’s hitting so deep inside of you just right.

You know, Steve being able to watch you and Robin and was little more of an erotic experience. He likes girls, so it makes sense it would be. Yet, Robin can’t help but to get herself entranced by the view. Remember how we talked about Steve stealing videos from the back of Family Video? Yeah, he wasn’t slick. Robin caught on the first night but instead of calling it out, she just followed his lead. 

She stuck to lady on lady scenes only, but sometimes she had to wait through watching a poor girl obviously fake her way through being fucked. She always felt bad for how obviously the guys didn’t actually care, more concerned with angles and getting themselves off. None of those scenes even slightly compare to what’s happening in front of her. 

It’s the way Steve knows your body. He’s grabbing a fist full of your hip, pulling up towards his cock which leads you to rest your head just right on Robin’s thigh so you can look back at him. He is taking notice as you wince when your knees come back in contact with the carpet. “Rug burn,” you’re explaining with a breathless and broken sounds. He’s frowning for a split second, pulling your body up towards him since it wasn’t doing my good for Robin at the time. He’s cupping your chin which you take as a sign to part your lips and then Steve’s fingers are in your mouth.

“Lemmie know if it’s too much, Baby.” His two fingers are dragging along your tongue causing you to gag around them. Steve’s hips buck at the sight, the sound, everything. 

Robin’s convinced it’s the way you so clearly trust him and he so clearly loves you that has her so entranced. She has to find that connection and soon. Maybe a little part of her is worried that she sees a future where you look up at her like that too and you know she loves you too and her and steve become blubbering fools over you but that’s a problem for a different day.

Steve’s still fucking up into you when you give out this sharp cry of his name as he gets you just right. Robin’s eyes are focused on you, the way your boobs are bouncing, how much pleasure is on your face. “Wanna watch you come.”

And you do. Oh God you do. Steve’s not slowing down and you reach down to desperately grab his thighs, just needing something to hold onto as you feel the tension burst in your body. There’s nail marks being left on his skin, neither of you complaining.

The feeling of your pussy gushing and clenching around his cock? It’s snapping Steve out of doting boyfriend and into a man who just needs to finish. 

You know Steve’s favorite place to put his load? Deep inside of you. It’s risky but you both figure there’s so many more risky endeavors happening at Hawkin’s. Tonight though? He’s settling for your throat, not sure if Robin’s done with your pussy but assuming she 100% would be if he came in it. Understandably. The three of tour were completely overboard but navigating the waters the best you could. 

Sometimes you can read his mind just how he can read yours.

You crawl forward once your brain catches up, trying to ignore the way you’re throbbing around nothing and so sensitive after your first orgasm.

He’s cupping your head once you drop to all fours in front of him, making you stay in place so he can effectively fuck your throat. The closer Steve gets, the less gentle he is. Each time you gag around his cock, his hips sputter and you’re rewarded with a “pretty girl” from your boyfriend. Your only warning is your name getting choked out of his throat before you feel him releasing into your mouth. So warm and just for you.

Steve takes a moment to recover, grunting his appreciation as swirl your tongue around his shaft as you pull him out. “Lemmie see.” And you know what he’s after. 

You hold your tongue out as Steve’s hand comes back to cupping your chin. “Swallow.” A firm command. You notice his hand sliding down your throat and if his cock wasn’t done, the feeling of you swallowing his cum would sprung him back into action. 

You give yourself a couple of minutes after Steve comes, letting yourself get back to Earth. Once you can process the situation again? All you can think about is Robin. You’re grabbing Steve’s shirt, wadding it up in a ball before laying back flat on the floor. Robin takes the hint, scrambling to her knees, crawling over until she’s overing your face. “Squeeze my knee twice if you need air, okay?” In all honestly, she can suffocate you all night. 

She’s lowering herself onto your mouth, this pretty little grunt coming from deep in her chest as your tongue quickly starts flicking over her clit. You’re making these wet smacking sounds as you suck and lick every drop she gives you.

Robin’s rocking herself down against your tongue, leaning over to look at your wrecked pussy. She’s got a hand on either side of your mound, pulling you apart gently to get a better look. You feel her gently blowing against you and you’re rewarding the action with a flat lick to her clit. “Look at your poor little hole… Needs someone to kiss it better, huh?” 

You know, Steve didn’t think we could miss much while he zoned out for a few minutes to recover from his orgasm. But when he looks back and sees the two of you eating each other out? He thought nothing would top last time, but now he knows there’s no way you’ll ever top this moment.

The three of you were in deep. 

You feel Robin’s hips start moving desperately as she humps your face so you pick up the speed of your tongue, getting greedy at the idea of feeling Robin coming into your mouth like this.

The feeling? It must be mutual because her lips are wrapped around your sensitive clit. Giving it her rough, undivided attention. Without saying it, you just know she wants you to come with her.

Neither of you speak a word, just diligently working on eating the other out. Robin’s orgasm hits her first, her hips just twitching against your face. Hearing her crying out against you has you following her lead shortly after. The both of you just staying frozen in place as your body is overwhelmed with the sensation.

——

The three of you lay together after that. Your back against Steve’s chest and Robin’s head in your lap. Your fingers dragging through her hair while Steve investigates your knees and makes a mental plan to stop on the way home to get everyone bandaids and ointment. Not that anyone would complain but he couldn’t have his girls hurting on his watch. One thing about Family Video is that it has a time sensitive security system. They have until 30 minutes after close before it automatically sets itself to make sure people are just hanging around for extra hours.

So imagine Steve’s concern when he looks and - “Holy fuck. Get dressed! We have 9 minutes!”

The three of you are a fucked out, giggling mess as you scramble to get dressed and your clit is way too sensitive for this situation. You’re laughing as you run for the door, Steve and Robin trying to panic their way through their closing duties.

You watch them look around, frantic to figure out what they’re missing. “Don’t forget to clock out!”

——

Just know that Steve did stop at the store to get you guys recovery items. Drinks, snacks, extra large bandaids for your knees that make you look so crazy but you love watching him take care of you so you don’t complain.

That night? His parents are away on his dad’s business trip so you not Robin make a bug fuss about leaving.

Which is how you fall asleep in Steve Harrington’s bed, your warm boyfriend rubbing your back while you doze off and Robin on the other side of you. The two of you face each other, secretly stealing a kiss or two or five until you all drift off.

Like I said, the three of you were in deep.