#actually don’t even fuck around just go straight to the hospital PLEASE

[appleleef]

my hawkinsona Lee has definitely seen a demodog or a portal to the upside down and just went home. That's none of my business.

[kiirotoao]

Season 3 rewatch notes

Wait a minute, I just realized that Mike and Will are the only ones in The Party who’ve canonically been dungeon masters. Idk what that means for them, but, yeah. Another exclusive detail of theirs

Oh, lord. Mike’s arm being torn off in the D&D game better not be a prophecy. If those s5 notes are accurate about Mike being seriously injured… I’m scared.

GOD I’ve never noticed how hard Will breathes in the rain scene. Poor baby he was so stunned 😭😭😭😭

The thing that I love most about Jonathan and Nancy is that they’ve been through the real shit. Arguments and hardship through the supernatural and the struggles of discrimination and privilege.

I love how Max is usually the one who speaks after Will. It’s like she’s the only one brave enough to answer after he says something profound or important. I need more of Max and Will’s friendship and them having well-thought out arguments I swear

Omg I love Erica’s little green star on her cheek. It’s so cute 😭🩷

After watching The Princess Bride, I am fangirling so much over Cary Elwes - it’s so crazy to me that he got him to play such a character! I wonder if they thought of him because of all the physical stunts lmao

As much as Karen isn’t in the know of much of anything in the supernatural story, I love how she’s a picture of raw strength in the Wheeler family, the true head of the household. She takes charge. Stops at nothing to help. Not even in the face of temptation. Go Karen.

DAMN I forgot that Billy dropped an f bomb! I thought that the closest that the show got was when Max got cut off in the hospital, but nope. There it was

Shit, I’m tearing up at that scene when El collapses into Mike’s arms because I know that that was real exhaustion. Poor Millie ��🩷🩷. She did such a phenomenal job there.

I LOVE whenever Joyce is angry this season. Now that’s how you demand. Straight to the point, justified in her worry, and cutting past any unnecessary bs while still including the cherry on top “please” or “good day” of politeness out of basic decency. I want to be her when I’m upset.

I’m always so blown away by Maya’s performance when she comes out to Steve. Straight (haha) through the heart, so good. And I always, always smile at Steve’s reaction. So in character, so accepting. No questioning if she’s being honest, just immediately questioning her type and believing that she’s into girls. So, so important.

Oh, no. Holly saw the trees moving in the woods. Thus far, she’s noticed the demogorgon coming out of the wall, and now this. She’s definitely a target next season.

When El tells Billy the memory of his mom, I teared up a little! Something about the way that El says, “you were happy” breaks me, dude. Millie and Dacre did so well.

Also, thinking in foresight of s4, Max’s letter is so heartbreaking. The Mind Flayer made a huge show of killing Billy slowly and painfully. I don’t blame her for being too horrified to move. It really wasn’t her fault. That was traumatic. Sadie did amazing there, too. Ouch.

I’m never getting over the helicopter lights being blue, yellow, and red. Were starboard and port always blue and red? And isn’t starboard supposed to be green? It’s all intentional, I’m telling you

I love how Max and Lucas are supposed to be “butchering” Never Ending Story but those two theater kids actually sound amazing. I just wish they harmonized 😆

Oh my gosh Jonathan did the Byers hold to Nancy 😭😭😭😭 I am not okay 😭😭 I never noticed that

Okay wait. This is kinda horrible. I feel bad for saying this. But y’know how Mike has a Will voice? Well I just noticed that Mike definitely does not have a soft voice for El. I swear, he’s always so loud around her like nothing’s different about her 😂😭 Any time he’s sweet with her he’s just like YEAH. COOL. and it’s kinda hilarious.

Jancy is WRECKING me this season wtf. Charlie and Natalia are so cute 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Oh my gosh David’s voice kinda breaks at “doze off.” Fuck.

Erica has blue, yellow, and pink balloons plus a rainbow drawing on her door. I now headcanon Erica as pansexual/panromantic, thank you.

AHHHGHH I can’t wait for the original version of Heroes to play next season over Byler kissing when everyone thinks that they might be dead but they’re just surviving in the Upside Down, clinging to each other and having the highest moment of their lives!!!!!!!

This has been my s3 thoughts for the 6-8th time watching? I forget? And I missed a number of moments because I got too absorbed so, oops. Anyway, I love Jancy, I love Jopper, I love the Scoops Troop, I love Suzie, I miss Alexi, Byler is endgame, and this season was way more fun than I remembered and it always makes me laugh. My list of favorite seasons has been shaken expertly.

[thezombieprostitute]

Dream Come True - Part 9

Summary: The “Garbage Men” are the guys in the mob who get the dirt on others and clean up after the higher ups. They have many different ways of gathering intel by running legitimate businesses. One such business is Jefferson/Jensen’s cyber cafe where you regularly go to work. You’ve actually become good friends with Jefferson’s daughter and Jensen’s niece. You even volunteered as their after-school tutor. One day, there’s a robbery attempt where you get hurt protecting the girls. This is how you are introduced to Curtis Everett, the guy in charge of the “Garbage Men”.

A/N: Reader is plus sized, femme. No other descriptors used.

Word Count: ~1800

Warnings: Bullying, Fat shaming, Insecure reader, VIOLENCE. Please let me know if I missed any!

Part 8 -- Part 10

Series Masterlist

Curtis hears you whimpering in your sleep as you grip his arm tighter. Figuring you’re having a nightmare he gently wakes you up. You look around confused for a little bit before dropping his arm and apologizing. He reassures you with a smile as he massages his arm. You give him a confused look and he says, “you’ve been asleep for a few hours; my arm for a little less than that.”

“I’m sor-” you stop yourself when he raises an eyebrow. “Thank you,” you ventured. “Thank you for letting me sleep and letting me use your arm for a pillow.”

His smile grows, “it wasn’t a problem at all.”

“Have there been any updates?”

“Yes, not all of them good,” Curtis nods. “Ransom is in the hospital but he should make it. Lloyd’s co-conspirators are dead but he’s escaped. We’re working on trying to track him but he’s gone off our radar. We’re working with other families to signal us if they see him. In the meantime, no one goes out alone. Everyone travels in groups of at least two.”

He sees you tense at the information and unconsciously rub at your arm around where the bruise is. His eyes soften, “do you need an ice pack for that? Maybe some painkillers?”

“I think it might be a little late for an ice pack,” you whisper. “But, yeah, some tylenol or something wouldn’t go amiss.”

“Okay,” he says as he gets up. “Let’s go get you some.”

“Have you eaten,” your own stomach is aching and you don’t remember seeing Curtis eat anything before your nap.

“Not really,” he admits. “There’s probably some leftover pizza in the fridge. We can talk while we eat, okay?”

You follow him to the kitchenette area and, as you eat, you relate to him everything that happened to you after you left Ransom’s. It’s hard to believe all that you’ve been through in just 24 hours. Curtis never interrupts you but offers his hand when you have problems talking about your interactions with Lloyd. 

When you’re done he says, “that explains a few things we picked up from Ransom.” You give him a confused look and he continues, “Ransom told us that Lloyd was insistent on getting details about you. His co-conspirators were there with him because he had a potential security breach with you and they needed to see him clean it up.”

“Oh god, I got him hurt,” you whisper. “Fuck. I should’ve stayed at the hotel. Mr. Drysdale’s an ass but Lloyd is a monster. He doesn’t deserve that.”

“If you’d stayed at the hotel I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself,” Curtis admitted. “I wasn’t able to think straight until I got you back here. I really shouldn’t have left the team in the lurch like that. And I know I wouldn’t have listened to you if you tried to tell me to leave you there.”

“That couldn’t have been fair to the guys,” you complain. “I don’t think baking them some cookies will be enough to make up for it. They needed you and I got in the way.”

“Don’t,” Curtis chided. “Don’t speak about yourself like that. You’re a lot more important than you think.”

“I’m not much of anything,” you muttered. “I just fall into these situations. The nieces? Ransom’s signals? Lloyd? Things just happen and I react. Just like anyone else. You and your team are planners, able to think several steps ahead, able to keep safe in dangerous situations. Things don’t “just happen” to you. You’re able to prepare, think through possibilities. I just have blind reactions to everything in life.”

“You really don’t see your adaptability as a strength? Yeah, shit happens and blindsides you, but you’re able to keep your head above water. I have to do all of that planning because, as you’ve seen, being hit by an unknown throws me for a loop that makes me default to anger. And that quick switch you did to throw Lloyd off? That was incredibly quick thinking!”

“No,” you shake your head, “that was actually a bit of experience.” Curtis sits forward, concerned about the implications of your statement. “I wasn’t kidnapped before, nothing like that. I just…” you take a deep breath, “I’d go out with people I thought were friends. They’d get hit on all the time but I was definitely the ugly, fat friend. The guys who got turned down by my friends would occasionally get so drunk that they’d aggressively flirt with me. Not because they were actually interested, of course. They’d insist that they were being nice and doing me a favor. They’d frequently not take “no” for an answer because they couldn’t handle the thought of the ugly one not wanting them. The only difference between them and Lloyd is that Lloyd wasn’t drunk.”

“If you give me their names I’ll make sure they regret treating you like that.”

You give him a sad smile, “I already feel bad for getting Mr. Drysdale hurt. Even when people are assholes I don’t like to see them hurt. I’m weird like that.”

“You’re an angel like that.”

“I think it’s more, I wasted so much time with them that I’d rather not give them any more. Time is precious and I don’t want to waste it on people who don’t deserve it.”

Curtis hesitates, thinking on past interactions with you. “So, that day I called your prettiness a bonus?”

You duck your head close to your chest, “I overreacted. And for that I do apologize. You were just trying to be nice but I was hurting and I lashed out at you. I’m sorry.”

“If that’s you lashing out, I’m good,” Curtis chuckles. “All you did was accuse me of pitying you.”

“Still, you didn’t deserve my anger.”

“I think I got more anger from you when you were arguing about being overpaid. Or about the guys being overworked.”

“That wasn’t anger, Sir. That was debate and, well, stubbornness.”

“A stubbornness that seems to help people.” 

Curtis’s smile is broken by a yawn and you ask, “when was the last time you slept?”

“It’s been a while, I’ll admit.”

“You should really get some sleep, Sir.”

“I can’t,” he shakes his head. “Until we get some kind of update on Lloyd’s whereabouts, any sleep I get is going to leave me even more tired than if I never slept at all.”

“I suppose that makes sense,” you concede. “So, what do you generally do when you can’t sleep but can’t leave standby mode?”

“I’m not entirely sure,” he admits. “Usually there’s work to be done. Intel to verify, cleaning to do, garbage to dispose of. But right now all I’ve got is waiting and making sure you’re okay.” 

“Thanks for not leaving me alone,” you hum. “Thanks for bringing me with you. I know I was never supposed to know all of this. That I was supposed to stay on the legitimate side of things. But, even though I’m in the middle of the storm, I feel really safe with you.”

“That’s the greatest compliment I could ever receive,” he beams. “And I mean it.”

You’re walking back to the kitchenette from the bathroom when you’re slammed hard against the wall. You barely let out a squeak before feeling your windpipe cut off. You open your eyes and see Lloyd, smiling wickedly and holding a butterfly knife.

“Oh Pumpkin,” he sneers, “I told you not to run. Imagine my surprise when Pretty Boy finally confessed you were one of Everett’s agents? Fucker took my job, seems only fair I take his whore–”

His head is slammed into the wall you’re pinned against, barely missing you. The force is hard enough that Lloyd lets go of your neck and you drop, struggling to catch your breath. You’re able to register Curtis repeatedly smashing Lloyd’s head into the wall before Lloyd is able to push Curtis back. He spins to face Curtis, flashing the butterfly knife but Curtis doesn’t hesitate to charge as soon as he’s got his footing. 

You struggle to get away from the wall, not wanting to get Curtis hurt because of your interference. You find your phone in your pocket and send an SOS to Jake. You look up just in time to see Lloyd landing a kick to Curtis’s leg but he doesn’t even seem to flinch. He’s twisted Lloyd’s arm, making him drop the knife, before throwing him to the far side of the room. Curtis storms after him, not giving Lloyd time to get his footing, keeping him on the defensive, only able to focus on blocking or deflecting hits.

Curtis’s face is pure blood-lust and rage. You know you’re looking at Berserker. A small part of you knows you should be scared, but you’re not. He’s protecting you. Thinking you should return the favor and keep him safe, you look around for the butterfly knife. You’ve seen enough movies to know that it could come back into play against Curtis. You carefully remove it from the improvised arena and stay back.

Lloyd manages to get in a few punches but Curtis is relentless. When Lloyd starts flailing, clearly losing consciousness, Curtis pushes him to the floor before continuing to smash his face in.

“Curtis!” You cry out painfully in an attempt to get his attention. You’re quite sure Lloyd is at least incapacitated if not dead. He doesn’t seem to hear you so try again, “Curtis, please!” 

He pauses. You see him blink several times, seeming to come back to himself. He turns to you, “I’m so sorry. You weren’t supposed to see that.” He backs away from Lloyd’s body, running to the sink to wash his hands. He keeps repeating, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“Curtis, look at me,” you gently plead. His eyes shoot up and you see he’s scared, terrified even. “Thank you, Curtis,” you whisper, voice hoarse from Lloyd’s attack. “Thank you for rescuing me.” His hands stop shaking as he searches your eyes for any sign you’re scared. But you’re not. You hold firm in that and it helps to ground him. You step closer to him and he melts into your touch as you hold him.

Soon after the others come by and clean up Lloyd’s body. The higher ups are informed and let out a breath of relief. 

When the business side of things is concluded you ask Curtis if he’d be willing to stay with you at your apartment for a couple of days. You’re certain you’ll have nightmares and having him there, even if it’s just on the couch, will be a great comfort for you. He wholeheartedly agrees that he’ll sleep better as well if he can keep an eye on you.

Part 8 -- Part 10

Tagging @alicedopey because I promised I would. 

@alexakeyloveloki

@bigtreefest

@dontbescaredtosingalong

@hisredheadedgoddess28

@icefrozendeadlyqueen

@lokislady82

@texmexdarling 

@veltana

@winter-soldier-101

Let me know if you'd like to be tagged.

[deathofpeaceofmiiind]

illicit affairs | one

*Ellie’s POV* 

It’s been a whole year since I left. I thought it would be harder to live without Noah, but it wasn’t. It was almost a sigh of relief getting out of his world. I blocked them all out for the most part. I stopped listening to their music, unfollowed all their social media accounts, deleted all my photos of them. It was as if that part of my life never existed. 

I settled into my new life quite happily and Tyler and I finalized our divorce with no problems, much to my surprise. Liam lives with me full time and Tyler takes him whenever he’s able or if I need him to. I got a new job working for the hospital as a case manager, which meant I was able to work from home. It gave me the freedom to my work schedule around my life instead of the other way around. Everything was falling into place…until today. I dropped Liam off at daycare, came home and got straight to work. I took a few sips of my iced matcha while I read through my emails, today looked like it was going to be a light workload luckily. As I was finishing up my last report, my phone started to ring beside me. I still jumped a bit when my phone rang, half expecting Noah to reach out for some reason. It was Danielle so I picked up. “Hey.” I answered as I put my phone on speaker so I could finish my work. “Wow you actually answered me.” I sighed, I hadn’t been the best at answering my phone lately, “Yeah. Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay. I just called to ask you about tonight.”

“Why would I want to do that to myself?” I huffed as my stomach started to turn. The band was in town tonight on their new tour, which I wanted to avoid at all costs.

“Matt really misses you, he wants you there.”

“I don’t want to be put in a position where I see Noah.” I felt tears sting my eyes as I said his name. Even though I wanted nothing to do with him, it still hurt to even talk about him.

“Look, I talked to Matt and he promised me Noah wouldn’t find out you’re there.”

“I somehow doubt that. He’s probably hoping I’ll be there”

I felt Danielle’s annoyance in the tone of her voice the more stubborn I became, “Fuck him, I’m talking about being there for Matt. He’s been trying to reach out to you.”

“I know” I swallowed. I started getting dodgy with my texts and stopped replying to him the second he mentioned the tour dates. He wanted me to be there so bad, but I don’t know if I could do it. The idea of being in that atmosphere, hearing those songs again and being near Noah was too much. I worked so hard to close that door. If I went back, it would be for nothing. “Ellie, please. I can only be the messenger for so long, and I don’t want to see you lose one of your best friends like him.” A few tears escaped my eyes, she was right. I’ve really missed him and I haven’t seen him since we said goodbye at the airport. He always asked if I wanted to come see him, or the other way around, but I always made up some excuse why it couldn’t happen. He really did save me a lot of trouble after LA, I guess I owned him this much. “Ok, I’ll go under one condition.” “What’s that?” She replied with some excitement in her voice. “If Noah realizes I’m there, I’m leaving.” “I’ll come pick you up at 5.” I hung up the phone and just sighed. I really had no idea what I was in for.

[pillow-anime-talk]

toxic.

request: heyyy, may i request something like reader being in unhappy/toxic relationship with some guy but can’t break up with him because she actually still loves him and akashi seijurou trying to get reader out of this relationship and show reader how much love he has to give... it’s messy but I hope you got the idea!!

# tags: scenario; toxic relationship with oc!male & friendship with akashi; adult!characters; work!au; angst; drama; a bit of romance; soft!akashi; but also angry!akashi; soft kiss; mental & physical abuse; bruises and tears; sfw?

includes: female reader ft. seijuurou akashi {knb}

author’s note: writing this headcanon was really enjoyable, thank you, anonnie. remember, however, that any violence (both mental and physical) is wrong, and a relationship with such a person is never a good thing. please seek help from relatives and emergency services or call the telephone numbers for victims of violence. it’s important to take care of your comfort; you only have one life.

Akashi smiled at you as soon as you started to approach his person standing next to the coffee machine (you always drank your favorite coffee and ate cookies or sandwiches together before starting your shift in the office). However, once you were close enough, his smile disappeared, replaced by a large grimace and obvious anger in his eyes. And also great uncertainty, fear and the desire to hug your tiny person to his own body.

“... You fell down the stairs, hit the sink in the bathroom or stumbled again on the straight road?” He asked in a nervous voice, and you just lowered your head, looking at your shoes and the gray floor. You felt indescribable shame. “Do you remember what I said? If that loser does anything to you again, I’ll personally kill him. I guess this is the moment...” He set the mug of still-warm, black coffee without milk on the counter, then clenched both fists, examining the bruise on your face more closely.

“No, S-Seijuurou, it’s not him. I really hit the c-cupboard. I was working in the garden a-and...”

“The fuck? It’s winter. What were you doing in the garden? Don’t make me laugh and stop lying to me.” His voice was serious and cool. You didn’t like this side of Akashi, even though you knew his behavior was normal and right in this situation. Everyone around you knew that your boyfriend, with whom you lived for half a year, tortured you, cheated on you, he was dependent on you and didn’t respect your hard work, good soul and love at all. “After work, we’ll go to your place together, you’ll pack up and stay with me for a few days.” It wasn’t a request, but rather a command.

However, you hoped that after the end of the shift, the man would forget about everything and would not insist on taking you to your apartment.

{ ･ﾟ✧ }

Moments after 4 pm you finished your work and you put on a warm jacket and a hat. You sighed a bit as you left the huge office. You stayed a quarter of an hour longer on purpose so that your friend would go alone, but he was still waiting for you and scrolling through something on his phone.

“Get in. It’s cold, and I don’t want you to get sick.”

“Sei-kun, you don’t have to...”

“I don’t want to drive you home next time, but from the hospital or the police station. It’s not normal that the person who supposedly loves you tortures you every day because you didn’t make what he wanted for dinner. This idiot gets too much from you anyway, plus you clean up after him, pathetic. Get in, Y/N, and let’s stop arguing. You don’t have to do that with me.” He said in a tired voice and you listened to him. The road to your apartment was full of silence and awkwardness, and your red eye was throbbing with nervousness.

After reaching the tenement house where you lived, you hesitantly left Akashi’s white car and together headed towards the staircase, and then the floor where you rented a small, 35-meter apartment. You unlocked the door with your key and took off your shoes inside. Your guest did the same, and when you both looked up, your tall partner was already waiting for you.

“... What is he doing here?” He asked in low voice, not even looking at you but at the other man to show his own dominance. “Why did you come?”

“Can’t I come over and have a cup of tea with my bestfriend and talk about a project we’re working on together?”

“... Nobody invited you here.”

“Nobody had to. It’s not your apartment and you don’t decide who Y/N can and can’t invite and host.” He smiled bitterly, then took off his long brown coat as well. You immediately noticed your boyfriend’s fists clench, making your body tense. Definitely the last thing you wanted was a fight. “What are you so stressed about, kid? Do you think your attitude scares me in any way?”

“Listen...”

“No, you listen. Y/N won’t do it and say it out loud, but you’re not welcome here. You’re a fucking jerk who doesn’t respect women and their commitment to you, you’re just a parasite and a slacker who can’t do anything. All you can do is scare others, cheat on them and use violence. Don’t interfere with my relation with Y/N, because unlike me, you’re nothing; you don’t know her at all, you’re not interested in her, and you don’t truly love her. Plus, I can easily fuck you out of here, and if you give me one more weird glance or remark, or raise your voice at your girlfriend, you’ll fly out the window.”

You were impressed and your cheeks flushed slightly. You knew perfectly well that Seijuurou hated your boyfriend, but you didn’t think that he would defend you in this way and make Hitoshi stay silent for the next few moments. It was a blissful and pleasant silence.

However, unfortunately, after a few more seconds, the blonde spoke up.

“...Y/N, make ne dinner. I haven’t eaten anything since morning.” He grumbled like a two-year-old boy. You sighed and started to go to the kitchen, but your friend grabbed your wrist.

“I don’t remember that Y/N coming here to look after the little baby. She came here straight from work to rest. Didn’t your mother teach you how to boil water and put pasta in it?" The red-haired man laughed and you tugged at his black sweater sleeve with your free hand.

“Listen to me, dude. Y/N is my girlfriend and don’t piss me off. She’ll make me dinner when I ask for it, and you...”

“And me what?” He chuckled. “You are tragic and insolent. I feel sorry for every woman who has had any contact with you.”

“You’re... defending her because you two probably fucking in the office, right? You don’t love me anymore, Y/N?"

“I...” You started calmly but your friend interrupted you.

“You’re fucked up, man, that you suspect her of cheating, and you’ve been doing it since you two started a relationship.” Seijuurou walked over to him, then grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him towards the door. He threw both your boyfriend out the door as well as his jacket and shoes without much trouble. “I think you’ve used Y/N enough over the last few months. Now you can take care of yourself, and if I see you harassing or touching her, I’ll kill you, moron.”

The slam of the door made you jump slightly, then a small tear ran down your left cheek. Seijuurou locked the wood and then walked over to you and hugged your trembling body tightly to his. A light kiss on your forehead calmed you down slowly, and you sighed.

“... T-Thank you.”

“Y/N you are the most important person to me, understand that I couldn’t do otherwise.” He said, rocking the two of you in the middle of the living room and you nodded. “ Did I overdo a bit? ”

“No, it’s okay, Sei. Thank you, r-really.”

You both knew that the young man truly loved you, yet you both wanted to wait. Instead of rushing and acting hastily, the ruby-haired boy ordered your favorite food and offered to watch a movie. You finally felt what it means to have an evening full of rest and joy.

[blissfulstarsfics]

Black and White Chapter 11

Read on AO3

Chapter Rating: M

Summary: Karlach patrols Baldur's Gate for any signs that Astarion might strike, and strike he does. Tav is forced to make the most of her situation.

The sun was setting over Baldur’s Gate, coloring the clouds in shades of fiery red, soft pink, and deep orange. Karlach watched the blazing orb descend, its reflection receding off the water behind the horizon, signifying the beginning of her watch. Two tendays had come and gone since Tav was taken. Two tendays of relative peace. 

Patrons at the Blushing Mermaid drank and laughed, completely unaware of the looming threat. No one knew when Astarion would strike. The vampire had been unexpectedly generous with the amount of time he afforded them to retrieve his beloved. 

Karlach and Wyll had every intention of rescuing their friend, but the dilemma came as to whether or not they should return her to Astarion. On one hand, the city would be safe from the ascendant’s wrath. On the other, they would be condemning Tav to a life as a vampire. Could she damn one of her best friends to save the city?

The roughly cobbled streets of the Lower City abruptly morphed into smooth pavement when she entered the Upper City. It always pissed her off how well kept this part of the Gate was compared to the other parts. Growing up in the Outer City, she was used to shacks constructed on top of mud covered streets. Life there was miserable, but she made the most of it.

Mages from the Watch were also beginning their patrol, activating enchanted lamps which would light up the surroundings. The nobles must be kept safe, be it from a random thief or a small tumble. She nodded to the Watchman as he passed, about to reach her destination.

Astarion stood in the window of his palace, overlooking the city. The candlelight from inside the room flickered around him, causing the dancing shadows to accentuate his sharp, haunting features. Their eyes met and he gave her an eerie smile. 

Not long ago, Astarion had offered her hospitality in his mansion. He was an impeccable host, genial and attentive, she had to admit. When she threatened to crash his party, he took it in stride. Would he do that now? Unlike the rest of their friends, Karlach had seen how he was with and without Tav. They say vampires don’t feel emotion the way the living do, but when Astarion looked at Tav, Karlach couldn’t find any words to describe it other than love. That man loved her, vampire or not. And his love was torn away.

What a fucking shit show, she thought. Seriously, what was Jaheira thinking? All they wanted was a fun night out, swapping stories, eating, and drinking to mark their return to Baldur’s Gate. Karlach regretted agreeing to invite her. It wasn’t just the kidnapping, she ruined the whole evening with her little Klauthgrass stunt. Did she think Tav wouldn’t go straight to Astarion and tell him what happened? Or did she think Tav would actually agree to be whisked away like that?

“Don’t do anything stupid, Fangs. Please. We’ll find her,” she mouthed to the ominous figure. It repeated the same smile, the same movements as before.

“Fuck,” she shouted. Surrounding patriars perked up, giving stares of offense at the tiefling as she ran toward the Ravengard estate.

~~~~~

Rest had been infrequent for the Astarion ever since his little love had been ruthlessly stolen from him. This afternoon, he practically forced himself to trance. Tonight, he decided, would be the start of his Festival of Blood. He would need to be well rested if he wanted to put on a fitting opening ceremony. 

For once, he had relived a cherished memory of Elia instead of a nightmarish one of spawnhood. It was a memory of one of their nights at camp. In perfect detail, he saw how they laid in his tent, making plans for the ascension. Their bodies barely touched. He was so pathetic then, but she still believed in him. Made him better. Helped him ascend.

The recollection encouraged him. Astarion yearned for her to be in his arms again. Gods, he just wanted to hold her again!

But, the memory was just that; a fleeting remembrance with no impact on the now. It was a new moon tonight, perfect for his covert operation. Two birds were about to be killed tonight. His precious treasure had gone to great lengths to enact a plan for him to monopolize a natural resource. Phase one was complete, it would be remiss of him to not begin phase two.

The armor he commissioned from a drow craftswoman had a snug, but not restrictive, fit. Black as night and light as a feather, it was well suited for his mission. The hood covered all but his crimson eyes. Wearing armor again felt somewhat nostalgic. If only she were here to join him in the fun.

Inside the ballroom, his spawn had gathered. They hadn’t seen their master clad for battle before. Decked in black and armed to the teeth, they cowered in fear of their already imposing lord. Everyone remained still on their knees, awaiting his command.

“As you all know, the mistress of the house was rudely taken away from us by a trio of rogue Harpers. For two tendays, the High Harper and my former companions have chosen not to heed my warnings as to what would happen if she was not found. The time for peace is over. We will now act. What say you?” 

“Here, here!” They dare not say otherwise.

“Good. Tonight will be the first night of many. We will make this city stir in fear until our lady is brought home. Zeuril!” The mage was caught unawares. He looked too and fro before scrambling to his feet.

“Yes, master?”

“Cast an illusory image of myself in the front window. I may need an alibi.”

“At your command!” He bowed low, then ran off to make preparations. Astarion dismissed the rest of the spawn. Since the targets were inside a residence, he would be going solo. Not that he would need any backup. By the time he would arrive, the household would be fast asleep. Easy targets.

Shifting into bat form, he flew out an obscured window in the back of the palace into the moonless sky. Keeping his altitude high, he blended in nicely, leaving the watch below blissfully ignorant of any impending danger. Astarion had to take a winding route to the Foxworth mansion; flying directly ran the risk of being exposed by magelight.

He landed in the dilapidated remains of what had once been a prized garden. A few chirping crickets were the only witnesses as he picked the lock of the garden door. Astarion closed his eyes, honing in on the sounds of the inhabitants’ heartbeats. He counted seven. Such a small number! Carlo’s dearly departed wife must not have given him much of a living stipend after all.

Young Carlo had been shipped off to boarding school tendays prior, placing him out of harm’s way. Therefore, the vampire was free to let loose and take out his pent up rage on his poor, unsuspecting former rival. How to do it? Flay him? Hack off his limbs? The estate may end up looking like a Bhaalist temple when he was through.

Two pairs of feet pattered from an adjacent room. Astarion climbed the walls, affixing himself to the ceiling. A maid and a butler rushed into the room, fiercely entwined. How scandalous! He watched on as the girl laid back on the couch, speculating as to whether or not she would notice him dangling above them. 

As the butler fussed with his clothes, Astarion’s thoughts drifted for a moment. What would he do if he found his staff doing similar on his furniture? Probably make a meal out of them for making him and his love sit on their aftermath. Just this once, as a parting gift, he would do the soon to be defunct lord a favor.

Pulling down his mask, he let himself fall onto the lovers below. The maid’s yelps of surprise turned into shrieks of terror when he plunged his dagger into the butler’s neck and began sucking out the rich, hot liquid. He would leave no incriminating bite marks on this night’s victims. A few slashes to the girl’s throat silenced her annoying shrills. Ah, to die in the arms of your lover. 

Two down, five to go. There was stomping overhead, some murmuring, and the aura of infernal energy. Let’s see if they can put up a decent fight. Three servants came down the stairs, one holding a candle, the other two completely unarmed. Such a coward, Foxworth. Sending in fodder so you can make your grand escape, he thought. 

They quaked in the dimly lit room, weeping and clinging to each other as they awaited confrontation from an unknown entity. Poor things. Astarion deduced it would be his lordly obligation to grant them quick deaths. Keeping low, he snuck up to the one straggling behind. He covered her mouth and stabbed her repeatedly. Yes, he had decided on quick deaths, but he still had to send his message.

When the other two turned, they saw their coworker dead and bloody. Killed by a shrouded man with blood trickling down his chin. One started to run, but was easily stopped by a dagger thrown into her back. The other was so frightened, she lost hold of her candle and managed to set herself alight. Astarion stepped over her as she immolated to retrieve his weapon.

The last two heartbeats were heading to a separate exit. It amused Astarion how they thought they could outrun his superior speed. Just as they were about to enter a servants’ passage, he clapped them on the shoulders.

“Oh, hello!” he cheerily greeted. They jumped into defensive stances.

“Te execro!” Mariana slammed her palm into Astarion’s chest, in an attempt to hex him with her patron’s power. The warlock tilted her head in bewilderment, “Te execro!” Again, no effect. Astarion took hold of her neck, maniacally laughing, showcasing his fangs. He jammed a dagger into Foxworth’s knee, sending him to the ground.

“My dear, I’m already dead. Your little hexes have no effect on me,” Astarion spun the girl around, slicing her throat open just enough that she would slowly bleed out, “Have fun in the Blood War!”

Foxworth howled in agony and horror. His partner convulsed and squirmed until she at last went still. Her lifeless body landed on the floor with a loud thud.

“What in the hells, Astarion, you’re a vampire?” he cried in disbelief.

“And a damn powerful one at that,” he knelt next to the lord, “I’m going to take my time with you, Carlo. You should never have gotten in my way,” he flashed his dagger in front of the human’s face, “And you never,” he poked, “should have,” another poke, “come onto my woman.” The razor sharp edge slowly penetrated the man’s bowels. Foxworth begged for Astarion to stop as he sawed through his intestines. Gloved fingers yanked his head back, brown eyes staring into red. It was the last thing he saw.

“Aw,” Astarion pouted, “I thought you’d last longer.” Disappointed, he retraced his steps back to the garden, where he took flight back to the Crimson Palace.

Alone in the armory, he took elvish form. Had she been here, she would have congratulated him on a job well done, helped him out of his armor, and assisted him in washing the blood and grime away. Her touch would excite him, then he would pin her against the wall, making love to her. 

“Elia,” he whispered into the emptiness. Her true name, which only he was permitted to use. The hole in his heart was becoming a bitter void that was devouring his mind and spirit. Tonight was only the beginning.

And the tamest.

~~~~~

Two tendays ago.

Magics roiled around her, enclosing her, and then nothing. One moment she was at the Elfsong, the next she was in the middle of a field. It was too dark to make heads or tails of their exact location, not that she would have been able to in her mildly disoriented state. Running wasn’t an option. While fleeing was her first thought, the effects of the herb hadn’t entirely worn off. Any attempt at escape would immediately fail.

“The safe house is here. We can rest and resupply.” The elf beckoned his human companions through a hatch leading to an underground shelter. He beckoned to Tav as well, who not so politely declined. The mage shrugged, then created a globe around their surroundings. The barrier crackled with energy that threatened to shock whoever touched it. Nothing was getting in or out.

Where in the hells were they? With the protective barrier in place, Tav opted to remain outside. She wouldn’t trust herself to be alone in a cramped space with these people. Who knows what else they were capable of? Below, she could hear whispering but couldn’t make out what they were saying.

She sat on the ground, hugging her knees to her chest. Listening closer, she could hear angry inflections in the humans’ voices. No doubt they were demanding to know why their elf friend deliberately disobeyed Jaheira’s orders. The elf spoke in a calm, pastoral tone which seemed to work on his companions. It sounded like they were planning their next move, though again she couldn’t make out details.

Very well, if they were plotting then so would she. This wouldn’t be the first time she pulled an all-nighter in the open. It would give her time to think. 

Dawn came, bringing clarity of mind and surroundings. Familiar grasses and wildflowers gave her a hunch as to where they may be: Pelleor’s Prairie. It seemed the mage might have taken them across the Western Heartlands. If that was the case, Tav knew she would be unable to survive on her own.

Food, water, and shelter was scarce in these parts. Also, if starvation, dehydration, or exposure didn’t finish her, some monster most definitely would. Although Tav wasn’t as gifted in the weave as Gale, she did know a number of stealth magics (most spells she utilized were stage related). In theory, she could make herself invisible, but again that would not hide her scent. With no blades, and what minimal spells she had at her disposal being useless, Tav knew she had no options. Crestfallen, Tav willingly departed with her kidnappers.

Where they were going was a complete mystery. Her Harper captors refused to let the subject be broached. If she asked, they would give her a nonanswer such as, “someplace safe” or “where the vampire can’t hurt you.” Replies that were equally annoying and amusing. The vampire wasn't going to hurt her. However, they signed their own death warrants the moment they laid hands on her.

When confronted with why they kidnapped her, the elf mage would sweetly tell her, “Destiny.” His human cohorts would nod along venerably. The female touched her arm gently and told her, “You can trust Carvalur. He has never been wrong.” The way she spoke about the elf reminded her of how the cultists revered the Absolute. It was unsettling.

After a day-long trek, the end of the grassland was in sight. Marshes and forests came into view, as did the impressive mountains which guarded the fabled city of Evereska. The fortress home must have been their final destination.

Hope wasn’t entirely lost. Little did they know that Evereska was well known to the bard. Inside the temple of Hanali Celanil, her mentor maintained a shrine to his patron deity, Melira Taralen. The old man took on a grandfatherly role, expanded her knowledge of music, and even taught her a thing or two on espionage. His shrewd and insightful nature gained him employment as a spy by the Hill Elders a number of times. 

This was good. She could work with this. Another day or two and they would reach the city proper. There, she could formulate a plan back to Baldur’s Gate. For now, she would bide her time.

~~~~~

“Karlach!” The tiefling felt herself being shaken. 

“The fuck, Wyll, I just laid down,” she groaned, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. The ranger’s sullen, bleak expression said everything. “How bad?”

“He massacred a minor lord’s house. The Watch is still investigating.” Wyll sat next to her on the bed. Neither said anything, but words were unneeded. Astarion had made good on his promise, now it was up to the city to deal with the ramifications.

The pair left the Ravengard estate and went to see if they could assist with the matter. A crowd had formed outside the manor that was wasting no time floating speculation about what happened. Some people couldn’t resist gossipping. 

Thanks to Wyll’s name and connections, they were given an introduction to the head investigator. When they discovered the identity of said investigator, it inspired very little hope.

“I remember you two. Come to meddle in another of my cases?” The hollyphant was as chipper as ever.

“Good to see you too, Valeria.” Wyll smiled wryly. 

“Fuck me,” Karlach sighed, “If you’re on the case, it’ll never get solved. I’ll bet you’re already writing up a shoddy report so you can get back to the bottle you left at Sharess’s Caress.” A chestnut skinned gnome with light colored curls came out of the crime scene, wiping her hands.

“You’d be correct, if I wasn’t here to keep things in line,” she stuffed the filthy rag away, “Godsdamned mess in there.”

“Blaze Devella! It’s definitely good to see you!” Relieved, Wyll’s mood improved significantly. It was her persistence that helped unveil the Bhaalist murders, while Valeria was content to let the matter wash down like a bottle of Esmeltar Red. 

“And you as well, Wyll,” she shook his hand, “There’s not much I can tell you right now. Whoever did this was good. Very good. We can’t find a point of entry, or a footprint, a fingerprint, nothing. It’s like they were killed by a ghost.”

“A very slash happy ghost.” Karlach balled her fists. This was awful, just awful. She didn’t know who she blamed more for the incident, Astarion or Jaheira. If only she hadn’t put that fucking Klauthgrass in Tav’s wine.

“That’s one way of putting it,” Devella seemed to welcome the sarcasm, “Anyway, Wyll, let your father know we’ll be doing what we can. This may take a while.”

“Take all the time you need.” He gave her a polite bow, and Karlach a glance that said, “But not too much time.” The inspectors went back to their investigation, leaving the pair to fret over what happened and what will happen next. Karlach looked over the crowd. So many anxious faces. Astarion had succeeded in sowing fear in the Upper City.

“That brazen bastard. Look.” Wyll nodded to Karlach’s left and there he was, playing the concerned citizen. Their eyes locked. His cold, sinister gaze sent a shiver down her spine. They needed to stop him.

“He’s gloating,” she snapped her head toward Wyll, “Come on. He’s got round one. We gotta figure out how to stop rounds two, three, and four from happening.”

~~~~~

Upon reaching the tunnels to Evereska, Tav’s luck went from bad to worse. First, the man and woman forced some sort of magical bracelet on her which shackled her to Carvalur. Then, when the guards questioned the mage about the Harpers’ business in the city, he was quick to throw her under the cart. 

“We’re transporting a woman enthralled by a vampire. For her safety, she is to remain under the protection of the Harpers until the effects wear off.” The mage pulled some paperwork out from under his cloak and handed it to the guard. 

“All right,” the guard folded the paper, “Why bring her here?”

“Distance. And being back with her people may expedite her healing.” The mage exchanged glances with the guard, “If you’re worried about my charge causing trouble, there’s no need. She’s bound to me.” Carvalur held up his wrist to show a magical bracelet. The guard nodded, allowing them through. Tav stood firmly in place.

“What in the hells? You believed that? I’m being held against my will by these people! This is all made up! My lover isn’t a vampire!” The humans took her arms, forcibly dragging her into the city. She cried in desperation, “Let me go! Please!” Yet no one would listen.

And that’s where she was after two tendays; Trapped, enervated, and viewed as a madwoman. The days were lonely. Carvalur and his crew would leave her for hours at a time, held captive by chains and silencing spells. 

Day turned to night. The trio returned near midnight, with them was a group of around ten people. The man and woman sat Tav on a stool, binding and gagging her.

“Brother Raf, Sister Jhoie? Is that truly necessary?” one of them asked. So, those were their names. Twenty days and this is how they introduce themselves. At the first opportunity, Tav was going to have to teach them some manners.

“She is very ill, brother,” the woman, Jhoie, went to smooth back Tav’s hair. The bard balked at her touch.

“Prophet Carvalur says to give her time. Correllon Larethian has spoken to our great seer, so it shall be. She is destined to be one of us.” This Raf person seemed awfully sure of himself.

Oh, for fuck’s sake, she internally swore. The great prophet had told her their meeting was destiny. Perhaps he was right. Destiny had used her once to put down a cult. This little circle was about to learn just how effective she was at it.

What does all this mean for Baldur's Gate?

Thank you for reading!

[streamafterlaughter]

New Kid

Epilogue

masterlist | playlist

summary: immediately following Eddie’s dumb ass into the Upside Down. AU where the ending doesn’t make me ugly cry in the bad way, maybe a little in the good way.

warnings/tags: descriptions of wounds, blood, violence, hospitals, near death, drama (let me know if i missed anything!) gn!reader x eddie, def some typos sorry

a/n: had to wrap it up a little more, selfishly. it’s quick, but it gives me a sense of closure to include the s4 plot even a little. i’ll have more for y’all very soon. keep an eye out. reblog to support the author!

Disclaimer: I do not give permission to have my work reposted on other sites. Reblogs are more than welcome, but please inform me if you find my work elsewhere unless otherwise stated.

March, 1986

Your POV

“Eddie?! What are you doing?!” Dustin peeks back into the dirty darkness of the Upside Down, where Eddie cranes his neck to look at you, then Dustin.

“I’m buying more time.” It’s not a triumphant scream, he doesn’t claim he’ll return, he doesn’t tell you to wait up. Before you can argue, Eddie slices the sheet rope, and shoves the mattress far away from the exit, leaving you and Dustin with no way to follow your stupid fucking boyfriend.

“EDDIE?!” You shriek, but he’s already out the door. You can’t think straight, your vision blurring with angry tears. When you look at Dustin, his mouth hangs open, eyes wide with fear. “Hey,” you snap him back to the present, and he turns his head to you. “I’m going in. Stay here.”

“Hell no! Eddie’s one of my best friends. So are you, actually. I’m not just gonna wait here and hope you don’t die!”

“Dustin, I don’t have time to argue with you. I'll go down first and move the mattress, okay?” He nods once. You drag a rickety dining chair over from the corner, and climb into the Upside Down. You land on your back, hard, but the adrenaline keeps you moving. You’ll feel everything later, if you live to see it.

True to your word, you drag the mattress to the opening, and shout to Dustin that he’s all set. He jumps from the chair, and pulls himself over the ragged edge of the opening, tumbling to the mattress with a thud. You help him up, and the two of you are sprinting and panting toward the sounds of Eddie’s screaming.

You exit the trailer to find a swarm of the shrieking bat creatures surrounding Eddie, as his trash can lid shield takes hit after hit. You’re running at him before you can even think, a heavy baseball bat in your grip. Before you and Dustin reach him, though, the bats seem to freeze, and instead of devouring Eddie limb from limb, they retreat into the sky.

“EDDIE?!” You and Dustin shriek in unison, running the rest of the way to where Eddie lay, bleeding from several deep, ugly bite marks on his torso, as well as a wound far too close to his throat.

You drop to your knees, and take Eddie’s hand in yours. “Eddie, baby? Can you hear me?”

Eddie coughs and you release the breath you’d been holding. “Hey, sweetheart.”

You laugh despite the situation. “Baby, we gotta go, okay? We have to get out of here.”

“That’s a good idea, you probably should.”

Your brows pull together in confusion at his words. “Yes, but you’re coming with us.”

“I can’t, I can’t move.” His voice breaks, and your heart freezes in place. He’s dying. He knows it too.

“Eddie, let us help you.” Dustin’s voice is a broken sob and it rings in your ears like a flatline. But you keep moving, tying his bandana around his neck to stifle the bleeding. You throw Eddie’s limp arm over your shoulder, and Dustin does the same with his other. He’s not dead, but he’s pretty much dead weight. Somehow, you manage to make it back to the trailer unscathed, and you lie Eddie on the mattress as you hunt for another chair.

“Dustin, come in Dustin.” It’s Steve, and Dustin answers the walkie frantically. “Copy, I'm here. Please tell me you guys fucked Vecna up because we need help NOW.”

“Yeah, yeah we’re on our way back to the trailer, what’s wrong?”

“Eddie’s hurt, bad. Just hurry.” Dustin glances over to where you hold Eddie’s head in your lap, whispering calming words and singing quietly to keep him calm.

“Stay with me, baby, okay? Help is coming. I need you to stay awake, even thought it’s difficult, okay?” You talk in circles, watching Eddie fight to keep his eyes open. Your head pounds, and you bite your lip to hold back sobs. “Don’t leave, Eddie, please don’t go. We still need you. Can you hang on for me, baby?” You’re desperate for a response of any kind, but Eddie looks right through you.

It could have been minutes, or hours, but eventually you hear the footsteps of your friends as they run around above you, positioning themselves to heave you back into the right dimension.

—

Eddie’s POV

When he opens his eyes, it’s to a room of dimmed fluorescent lights and beige walls. He glances down, where he lay in a hospital bed, gown and all, hooked up to machines and bags of fluid. His right hand rests in yours, and when he looks up at you, he watches as your face shifts from broken to bright in a matter of seconds.

“Good morning, sweetheart.”

A wracked sob escapes your throat, and you bring his hand to your lips, leaving a long, grateful kiss to his knuckles. “Hi, baby.” You rasp. It’s clear you haven’t slept in days, at least. Which Eddie thinks is so unfair, as he just spent days asleep.

“Did we win?” It’s the first question he needs an answer for, hoping his injuries are the worst of the group because shit, does it hurt.

You nod, a small smile reaching through your somber expression. “It was hard. Eleven somehow helped from California, but we did it. Vecna’s gone.” He almost sobs when you say it, relief flooding over him. He will never not blame himself for dealing to Chrissy. He will never forgive himself for dragging you into this mess. But he can’t thank the universe enough for at least giving him this. A chance at life. Until he remembers he’s still a wanted man.

“What about Jason? The police?”

“Jason is taken care of. The police have dropped the charges on account of Jason being arrested for assaulting Lucas, as well as being caught in the same room as a levitating Max. This might all have to do with the fact that they know they had nothing to go on besides Chrissy being found in your trailer.” You squeeze his hand lightly. “What the fuck were you thinking?”

“I- I don’t know, I didn’t wanna run away again. And I didn’t run away this time! I fought. I had to fight. To protect my friends, protect you.”

“You can’t protect me if you’re fucking dead, Eddie. That was the stupidest thing you could have done. Did you think we wouldn’t chase after you? You thought we wouldn’t fight like hell to save you?”

Eddie looks down, the guilt settling in his chest. He knows he didn’t need to run back, there was no reason to. They had all been inches from safety, and he blew it. For what, his pride?

You interrupt his thoughts when you lean down, resting your nose inches from his. “Don’t ever do that shit again, yeah? If you die, I will fucking kill you.”

He can’t help the grin that crosses his face, closing the gap between your lips and his. The kiss is soft, sincere, and Eddie can feel the wetness of your cheeks as you deepen the kiss. Eddie can’t imagine what these last few days have done to your brain. Before he can ask, there’s a knock on the door.

“You have visitors,” The nurse announces, moving aside to make way for a gaggle of children, followed by Steve, Robin, and Nancy all huddled together. The kids have brought balloons, cards, and bouquets as well as drawings and figurines to brighten up the dingy room, and they all stare at Eddie with glazed, teary eyes. They’d just finished visiting Max, who was recovering from a near blinding as well as several broken bones.

Eddie adjusts in the bed to sit up further, wincing as the pain of his wounds makes itself known, bandages sticking to his scabbed skin. The kids sit around him telling jokes and stories, all the while he holds your hand in a tight grip, promising never to let go of you again.

—

Three Months Later

Your POV

“Edward Munson.” The principal announces into the small microphone. The audience claps politely, but the air of disapproval still lingers throughout. Eddie prances across that stage, snatches his diploma, and just as promised, flips him the bird. You giggle from your seat, fighting the urge to clap for the gesture. In the stands, you hear the shrieks of the Hellfire Club and company, chanting Eddie’s name as he skips back to his seat.

The ceremony ends, and you find Eddie and Robin on the football field. You leap into your boyfriend's arms, legs curling around his waist. “‘86, baby!” You cheer, and the gowned classmates surrounding you respond with whoops and whistles. Eddie sets you down, and you throw your arms around Robin’s neck. “Next stop, world tour.” You chuckle, and she laughs with you.

The three of you walk hand in hand to find the rest of your friends. Steve suggests ice cream, and you all pile into his BMW. You pop in the tape you’d brought for this occasion specifically. You crank the volume to Alice Cooper’s School’s Out as you peel out of the parking lot for what you hope is a very long time.

We can't salute ya / Can't find a flag / If that don't suit ya / That's a drag / School's out for summer / School's out forever / I'm bored to pieces…

—

thank you so much for reading. see you soon!

taglist: @children-of-the-grave @five-bi-five @wiildflower-xxx @beebeerockknot @champagne-glamour @xxgothwhorexx @therensistance

[lostsouls-house]

I was gonna say something angry but I realized quickly that that wasn’t what I wanted to say. As one of your ex friends I do care, I don’t check on your blog to see how you’re doing because I don’t care. Just because we’re not friends now doesn’t mean I don’t care now or didn’t care then. You’re free to delete this ask/ignore it but I just wanted to say my peace.

This took us weeks to sort our feelings on, so if you are checking Anon- I hope you see this.

First, let us say that we are not talking about anyone we still have as friends on Discord. We are talking almost exclusively about our former friends from the Survivor's Network, mostly mods.

If this is @circulars-reasoning , then you're right. You did care, and we thank you for that. We miss you, and we're sorry you get lumped in with the people you hang out with. We wish things could have been different, but they weren't. Whatever we say, it's not aimed at you. That said, we think it's time we talked about why we left in a more substantial presentation than vague posting. Because if this is a specific *dude*, then you should know how fucked up everything between us was.

Unfortunately, we only ended up modding for the Survivor's Network for a few months. When we joined, it felt like coming home. We had a brilliant mod team, we all had similar views and we worked very well together. We even got a new writing partner out of it. We were on top of the world. Working on the rules, creating a safe space and making things for the anti-endo community just a little more comfortable. Oh, and the voice chats! We had such a great time in those spaces. That's what we miss the most. But the atmosphere changed for us as our new Writing Partner began to enter awkward territory. We are no strangers to flirting and we are not opposed to enacting the rights of our open relationship, but this quickly became uncomfortable and emotionally manipulative. We have long been in silence as they are a huge name on Sysblr and were know no one would believe us over them. We do have receipts but for now we are choosing to keep them to ourselves. If the need is there, they will be released but we'd rather not have to paw through thousands of trumatic messages.

None of this is in any particular order, as our brain is very averse to revisiting the server these things happened in. But we do still have it, it and all the things said in it. We are going to place this list in bullet format and under a cut. You are welcomed to DM us any questions after this, but I doubt we will have straight answers as we're still scared to *actually* name them.

- Made our protective alter feel like a monster.

- Made us feel like we somehow cheated on them if we spoke in the SN before our private server.

- Used a situation I was venting about to try and make me feel bad after they "tried to help" by sending us a car part WITHOUT TELLING US. They used it to make us feel like we had done them wrong when we hadn't even known it was happening.

- Made our partner System feel like they were monsters.

- Tried to convince us that we were either ALL IN the relationship with this person, or all out. As in we either commit or we don't be friends.

- Pressured us to tell them any and every dark thing going on in our mind.

- Pressured us to make sure our protective Alter was never around when they were, shutting down to one word answers when certain alters would appear.

- Generally getting upset when we split new alters.

All of this and more in the space of three months. I cannot go back to the Survivor's Network because this personnas far as I know is still a mod there. They are older than me and manipulative as hell.

So if you *are* still watching my blog please note that your stupid little servers ended me in the hospital and into new psych treayment to deal with the scars you left.

We're are tagging this so it's seen. Ask us whatever, but I will not be giving a name until I can go through mentally and screencap everything. If you're asking yourself "Why now?"- It's because the alter that spit to protect us from this person finally gave us to okay. So here we are, telling the story. Believe me or don't I don't care.

[a-reader-and-a-writer-for-all]

A Christmas Miracle

Fandom: DC, The Suicide Squad, Rick Flag

Summary: When you are in an accident and forced to stay in the hospital for Christmas, will your partner Rick Flag be his normal pain in the ass self, or will he surprise you?

Word Count: 1361

TW: Language, Hospital, Broken Leg, Reader from Florida, Reader has a Sister

“Come on, Sarah. Please pick up. I’m so sorry. I know I promised but….Look, I didn’t expect this to happen and it wasn’t on purpose. That’s why they call it a car accident. Just, please, call me back and let me explain. I want to be there so bad and I…. I know I messed up. But it’s Christmas Eve and if I can’t be there then mayb-”

“We’re sorry, but the voicemail box of the person you are trying to call is full. Pleas-”

You let out a scream of frustration as you hurled your phone at the door. But instead of shattering when it hit the wood as you expected, it bounced off the broad chest of the man who had just walked into the room.

He looked down to where the phone had harmlessly clattered to the floor before glaring at you. “What the hell was that about?”

“Not now, Flag. I am not in the mood to deal with your bullshit today.” You huffed as you crossed your arms angrily across your chest.

“Well, hello to you too, darlin’. Looks like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.”

“Instead of being home in Louisiana, I’m in a hospital bed in DC with a broken leg on Christmas Eve. What exactly is the right side of the bed? Now, what did I just tell you? Get the fuck out!” Even on a good day, Flag knew how to push all of your buttons. And today was not a good day.

“Ah, come on. It’s not so bad. DC at Christmastime is beautiful! The decorations, the lights, the snow!”

“Don’t you dare even mention the snow! That’s the whole reason I’m in this mess. Who knew it was so hard to drive in? I’ve driven on sand loads of time! How could it be that different?”

Flag stared at you dumbfounded. “Are you an idiot? What do you mean how is sand different from snow?”

“Well, how was I supposed to know! I lived in Florida before I moved to Louisiana. This is my first-time seeing snow. And you better believe, it’ll be my last.” You thrust out your hand. “Now will you please pass me my phone and get out.”

“No, no, no. You threw it at me. It’s mine now.” He glanced at the screen before letting out a low whistle as he saw the call list still displayed there. “Jesus! You placed 39 calls to the same number in the last hour? Darlin’, if he doesn’t pick up after the third time, just stop. This just seems desperate… and a little crazy.”

“Shut the hell up! You don’t know what you’re talking about! So, just give me my phone and get the fuck out!” By the end of your outburst, your voice was cracking as tears threatened to fall. Don’t cry in front of him. Don’t you dare give him that satisfaction. You are better than this. DO NOT CRY. You bit your lip so hard, you tasted blood, but it did little to stop it from quivering.

But Flag noticed immediately. All his bravado and swagger dropped in an instant as he took a step closer to your bed. “Ah, Y/N… I didn’t mean…I was just jokin’ around. Here.” His voice was sweet and as smooth as honey as he handed you your phone. “I’ll-I’ll get out of your hair. Just text me if you need sometin’.”

As he started walking out the door, you called after him. “I was trying to call my little sister.” He stopped and turned to face you. “She’s mad at me and her phone keeps going straight to voicemail. She won’t even text me back.”

You squeezed your eyes closed as you took a deep breath. “She’s a single mom. Her son was born last January so this is his first Christmas. I missed his birth, baptism, first Halloween, and first Thanksgiving all because of the stupid Suicide Squad. But, I swore to her I would be home for Christmas. It’s the first one since Mom….I’m the only family she’s got left. Growing up, Christmas was the one time of year we were actually happy. That things just seemed to work out okay. But now…”

A sob rips from your lips as tears poured down your face. “I’ve let her down so many times, disappointed her over and over. I just thought, for once, I was going to be there for her when she needed me. But then this stupid fuckin’ leg….” You backhanded your cast, sending pain shooting through your leg and your knuckles.

Flag shifted awkwardly at the end of the bed, not quite sure what to do. Finally, he said, “I’m sorry, darlin’. I recall you’ve mentioned your sister and nephew quite a few times while we were on missions. I think I even remember you showing Harley and Boomer their picture once.”

Your face scrunched in surprise. He remembered that? But before you can question him about it, he continued. “I also knew how hard you begged Waller to let you out of this assignment and I should have fought harder for you to stay. I just thought it might be fun for the two of us to spend some time away from Belle Reve when people weren’t trying to kill us. But I never meant for you to miss Christmas.”

“Yeah, well, you didn’t know. And it’s not your fault. I’m the one who drove off the road.” It was almost unnerving. You had never seen this caring, tender side to Flag before. Well, except for the time both of you had gotten hammered and made out in the back seat of the transport van. But that had just been the alcohol, hadn’t it?

The sweet, small smile he was currently giving you made you start to think differently. As did the kind tone in his voice as he said, “Hey, listen. I talked to your doctors, and they suggested that when you’re discharged in a few days, it’s better for you to not fly home but to take a car instead.”

You groaned. “Great. And how am I supposed to make an 18-hour drive with a busted leg? This day keeps getting better and better.”

“Well, I was thinking I could stick around and drive you back.”

You blinked in surprise. “You would do that?”

He smiled broadly at you. “Of course. We’re partners after all. And you don’t abandon partners.”

“Thanks, Flag. That’s really nice of you. I-”

You were interrupted by a knock on the door. Flag peaked out and turned back to you, beaming. “One more thing. Turns out the airline won’t give refunds this close to Christmas, but I pulled some strings and was able to get the tickets transferred instead.”

Before you could ask what he meant, he swung the door open and your words froze in your throat. But after a few attempts, you managed to whisper, “Sarah?”

Your sister stood in the doorway, tears in her eyes and your nephew in her arms. “Hey, sis. Merry Christmas.”

You opened up your arms and she ran into them, careful to not crush her sleeping son. As you squeezed her in a tight embrace, you choked out through your tears, “But ho-how are you here?”

“Well, after you called last night and told me about your accident, Colonel Flag called and said he had made arrangements for us.”

You looked over Sarah’s shoulder to look at Flag, who was still standing in the doorway. His face was lit up brighter than one of the trees in the lobby and if you didn’t know better, you might have even called him misty-eyed. When he saw you looking at him, he gave you a small nod. You silently mouthed Thank you, Rick and his eyes seemed to shine just a little bit brighter as he whispered, “Merry Christmas.” Then he was gone.

As you turned your focus back to your sister and your nephew wrapped tightly in your arms, you couldn’t help but think that maybe you had misjudged Flag this whole time. Or maybe, Christmas was just the time for miracles.

[sins-of-the-sea]

….. I don’t like the ending to My Brother’s Keeper. It feels like a cheap copout.

//Can’t please everyone, Anon. It’s not the ending I originally intended, but after some thought and deliberation, no: Phoebus does not deserve a happy ending even WITH encouragement. The mindscrew treatment of the Anons actually felt more in-line with how the Master (and Devil’s Eye story as a whole) would act around people who try to help his thralls.

Initially I was going to give people a taste of how to obtain the better Fates of the Seven, but after some deliberation, I think I was giving it TOO easily on a silver platter. And the reward did not match the difficulty of the journey. In the end, I think It’s significantly better to leave the story more open-ended as to give a recurring subplot for Phoebus to become a better person. And he needs it. Of the Seven, he is the only one without a story at ALL in the Main Verse. I’ll tell you a bit below:

I've stated before in the blog but I can't find it (fuck you Tumblr search engine!), but Guy had problematic writing and Phoebus was just a flat, sadsack prop. In the original RP with CappnRob (our basis of the main plot), GUY was the one who KILLED Phoebus permanently. But in this situation, Guy was written to be evil BECAUSE he was gay and Phoebus just got in the way of righteousness for straightness, or something to that effect. I don't know, I don't remember, it was 2006-7 and I came straight out of my Christian Evangelical Right environment. IT WAS HORRIBLE. And even if you take out the homophobia, it was just bad character writing in general.

I would like to think I am a much better person now 15+ years later, accepting my own queerness instead of making myself to be evil for even liking girls or questioning my gender, recognizing I have much to do in my own path of redemption, and understanding that the concept of 'hating the sin, loving the sinner' is significantly more harmful than it is good. However, I am still in the process of overcoming what is actually a traumatic upbringing rather than a normal, safe one that invites blooming and openness rather than hiding and cowering from the world

I am Phoebus. Phoebus is me. I have never said anything as horrible as Phoebus did to Guy, but I have been in situations where I thought I was being the best sibling I could to family members and friends who were struggling--and ended up being a detriment because of my caustic upbringing and my cowardice. I am nowhere as close to my siblings as I once was despite my efforts in trying to protect and guide them during our traumatic times (my Noelle), and I lost my oldest brother (gay, btw) after a battle with his own conditions in the hospital (my Maman). I've said it already this story was going to be personal and I hope to write it out as my catharsis. I have reached that goal halfway. But looking back at what Phoebus did and the heartache the Master forced Guy to relive:

I don't know if I am deserving of that catharsis just yet.

The encouragement Anons was an effort to be uplifting, but as I sit and look back, it felt like just fishing for undeserved validation. Phoebus didn't deserve that encouragement, and neither do I. And this is not a self-insert story, nor is it wish-fulfillment. I want to prevent inserting myself too much into my characters and their narratives or else it'll affectt he quality of the writing. So the mindscrewy twist to go the other way for a downer end feels more natural, even if folks felt like their efforts of encouragement were yanked under their feet. BUT HEY: THAT IS HOW THE MASTER OPERATES. If my late brother is my Maman and my younger siblings are my Noelle, my intrusive thoughts, guilt, and situational imprisonment is the Master. If I'm going to get words of encouragement, I better damn well deserve it by coming to terms with my cowardice.

Until then, perhaps Guy glaring at me with a white streak in his red hair and dead eyes is going to be my Mark. I have a lot of work to do to become a better person. I am hopeful my writing will help me build that courage, but I should be mindful to not insert myself too much or else it'll end up like the undeserved encouragement Anons. Phoebus has a lot of work to do. And so do I.

[skulkingwriter]

A couple of months ago, while I was sitting in hospital with gallstones and nothing much else to do, I watched Heathers The Musical, which is available on Prime, at least in the UK.

And I came out of it with a really sour taste in my mouth, and it wasn’t exactly the fault of the show itself - not exactly.

Spoilers and both praise and criticism under the readmore…

I was worried, going in, that it would be softened somehow from the film. That there would be… idk, not less murder because then it’s not even Heathers any more, but I guess from the way the marketing leans on the iconic short skirts and croquet mallets and the 90s glam of the Heathers themselves, I think I worried they might be neither awful nor pathetic enough. But no! Three more awful and pathetic human beings you rarely see on stage in a teen-pleasing musical. The boy, also? Horrid. Love it. Veronica doesn’t get off easy either. No one does. Everyone here is terrible. As it should be!

Which brings me to Martha. Hands up who’s surprised. Nobody? Good.

I was hoping for more depth for Martha. It would have been an actual improvement on the film, where as far as I remember she’s just sort of there as a way to prove Veronica has become a better person at the end. And… I guess? She gets a whole song?

But it’s literally all about her preschool boyfriend who is a rapist now. And look, I can talk myself around, if I try. I guess if she had seemed less pathetic and deluded than the rest of the characters that might have not been fair or felt like it fit. And sure the dickhead preschool boyfriend is human, and dead, and there’s no harm in waxing lyrical about the lost innocence of their youth, before everyone including him turned on Martha for being fat and uncool.

But it just… didn’t feel like it was about Martha, not like Heather 3’s surprisingly moving solo about the boat. I wanted a song about Martha. Veronica is so fucked up by the high school politics that she (accidentally) murders three people, and she is conventionally attractive enough to pass for a Heather. Martha is a real victim in a way that Veronica can only dream about, she attempts suicide about it, and all she has to say for herself is a fantasy about a boy.

I know it’s not unrealistic for that to be what she’s obsessing over. I was just hoping for more. A little update. A tiny bit of empathy.

But none of that is actually the thing that made me feel sick. That was when she came out in the wheelchair and brace at the end and

the audience laughed.

I’m still not sure if the staging set them up for it. Kind of, I guess. The narrative didn’t. She was a pathetic character, the implied conscience of the lead, and the last thing she had done on stage was attempt suicide.

She came on stage in her wheelchair and the audience for this musical laughed at her.

And I flashed back to the opening credits pre-roll bit where we’d seen a succession of teen girls queuing to get in and buying hot bully merch, and I felt ill. Can I say for sure there were no fat or visibly disabled teens in that video? No, I’d have to go back and look. I would be pretty surprised though. If there were any unconventional looking girls in that audience, I don’t think they got to be on telly about it. And I had been a little bit apprehensive about that all along, and I’d forgotten about it because the musical was pretty good, and guess what? I was right.

And honestly that’s why I can’t recommend this to people, even though the music is fun and the story is as fucked up as the original in most of the right ways. Right at the end, the audience who’s been enjoying this teenage bully-killing revenge fantasy turns around and straight up bullies the only fat or disabled character and it is a gut punch to experience.

Veronica is the audience surrogate, living out these intensely teen fantasies one by one - adoption by popular set, hot weird boyfriend, violent revenge, vindication and redemption. And ever since I saw the film 20-odd years ago I’ve assumed that, sure, some Veronicas needed that as teens too, and obviously you’d never cast a Martha in the lead role, but as a Martha, this is secretly a story for me.

Except it’s not. Apparently.

Anyway think the musical is pretty good but the audience ruined it for me and I wasn’t even there.

[switch-alt-nsfw]

TW for irl medical shit under the cut

Just got back from the hospital. Was in for the better part of a week dealing with a kidney infection that turned into sepsis.

It was the worst pain of my life, bar none. I couldn’t stand up straight, I couldn’t walk, I could barely speak. I’m still having trouble eating. And if I’d waited too long to go to the hospital the sepsis might easily have turned deadly.

Turns out the infection started from a UTI, and the culprit was a bacteria that naturally exists in a vagina but can get into your urethra specifically during sex. For my age bracket it is the second most common cause of UTIs, following E. coli (which of course is from the other hole lol).

So take this as a PSA: if you have a pussy, PLEASE keep everything down there clean. Pee after sex. Make sure your partner is clean. Or if they have smth going on down there, make sure you’re being conscientious about it. Clean and sanitize your toys. And actually, do this shit even if you don’t have a pussy - you are not immune to this stuff.

Do not fuck around with UTIs.

[herehavesomeheadcanons]

Bungo Stray Dogs Headcanons, but it’s only the characters that I think deserve more attention

I'm currently on a BSD kick, so have these headcanons while I feel ✨Inspired✨

I'll take requests for other characters, these two are just the only ones I have inspiration for right now.

Tw: Aku’s a yandere so yeah. He’s also kinda just a violent disaster of a person in general.

Ryuunosuke Akutagawa

🖤‼️ I got one word for you, and that word is Yandere. Are you surprised? You shouldn't be. If you manage to catch his eye, he will kill to keep you by his side. He’s certainly a dangerous one, so watch your back! Yes, he will kidnap you. You kinda brought this on yourself by searching ‘Akutagawa x reader’

🖤‼️He has no idea what love is, actually. He just knows that the world is a dangerous place and he’s the only one strong enough to protect you. It’s going to be a while before he can put a name to this strange feeling, so just sit tight while he figures it out.

🖤‼️Gets a lot of advice from Chuuya, mostly. It’s not that everyone else doesn’t already know that he’s helplessly in love with you, it’s that they’re all scared of him. Chuuya is the only one who isn’t, and thusly he is the advice giver. He actually gives surprisingly good advice, despite his rather angry personality.

🖤‼️It’ll be a while before he trusts anyone else around you. Eventually, you’ll basically be an honorary member of the Port Mafia, but for the LONGEST time he refuses to let anyone else even speak to you. Chuuya does not give a fuck, and visits you while Aku’s out on a mission. Don’t worry, Short Ginger’s got your back. He’ll be your best buddie and wingman.

🖤‼️He has absolutely no clue how to socialize like a normal person. You think Dazai took the time out of his busy schedule to teach Aku how to function socially? Absolutely not. He was too busy turning Aku into the perfect killing machine. Aku is incredibly blunt and literal about everything, and he takes everything way too seriously. 90% of jokes will fly straight over his head, which is pretty funny in its own right.

🖤‼️Gin is the first person Aku trusted with you. She’s his sister, after all. You’ll likely become friends with her, which pleases Aku. He wants all the important people in his life to get along.

🖤‼️If you’re not already a secret badass, become one. Just trust me. Aku is very into that. If you suddenly whip out a gun and save his ass by shooting a bitch without hesitation, he’ll be hooked forever. He’ll be so stunned in the moment that he won’t be able to function properly. Remember that scene in season 3, episode 11? Where he just said yes to everything? Yeah he relapses into that.

🖤‼️Please validate him. Tell him he’s the best and the strongest. He needs to hear it from somebody he cares about. And maybe try to convince him to not seek after Dazai’s validation so much. Does his opinion really even matter? I mean, he certainly doesn’t seem to care about Aku.

🖤‼️He spends more time in the infirmary than out of it. This hard-headed idiot pushes himself well past the limits of what his frail body can handle LITERALLY EVERY FIGHT. You’re going to be spending a lot of time sitting by his hospital bed hoping he’ll wake up from whatever coma he’s currently in. Somebody needs to tell him not to push himself so hard, and it may as well be you.

🖤‼️Please make him take care of himself. Force feed him if you have to, but this boy needs a sandwich. Good gracious, he’s a fucking toothpick. There is no meat on his little toothpick bones. Make him bathe, too. At least make him wash his hair and put on deodorant.

🖤‼️No, he will not let you steal his coat. He will get you a matching one, if it’s really that important to you.

🖤‼️Aku opposes physical affection at first, especially in public. He can’t have people thinking he’s a softie! Eventually, he’ll warm up to it. Only in private, though. Unless he happens to be jealous. Then he needs to show this other guy who you belong to.

🖤‼️Over all, probably the third most dangerous pick in the show. First being Fyodor, and second being Shibusawa Tatsuhiko. It’s not that he lacks power or ruthlessness, just that he has a very obvious issue that can be fixed with some hard work and dedication. He needs lots of validation, and to have some sense beaten into him from time to time.

Edgar Allen Poe

🤎🦝 Oh gosh I love this underrated mf so much- there really isn't enough content of this sweet introvert baby- Anyway, Poe is the sweetest, shyest little bean pole. I think he would like someone who won't abandon him at parties. *ahem* ranpo *ahem* He would also love it if you would read his stories and give him positive feedback. Please. Just do it. He deserves it.

🤎🦝He does have some… interesting… mood swings. Honestly, he can be moodier than most girls on their periods (i can say that, because I’M a girl). One minute he’ll be happy and cheerful, and the next he’ll be Tamaki-Amajiki-ing in the corner. If you don’t know what that means, go watch My Hero Academia. 

🤎🦝He and Karl are a packaged deal, obviously. I’m sorry if you have some deathly fear of raccoons (if you do, then why the heck are you simping for raccoon man??) but that’s how it is. Karl is his best buddie, and will be your best buddie too. Look on the bright side, you get to pet a fluffy raccoon!

🤎🦝You met during one of the ADA’s office parties, which Poe attended to show Ranpo his latest novel. Unfortunately, Ranpo is easily distracted and abandoned poor Poe within five minutes. Seeing the incredibly nervous introvert in the corner, you decided to talk to him. Congratulations! You now have a second shadow! Poe is so incredibly insecure in social situations that he will cling to you for as long as you’re willing to put up with him, even if you’re also introverted.

🤎🦝If you like to write, he would love to read your writing! He’ll give you pointers on how to make your writing better. Y’all meet up regularly to discuss your latest projects, read each other’s work, and give each other tips and ideas.

🤎🦝He is WAY too shy to confess to you on his own. He writes so many letters, but never has the courage to send them. He also practices with Karl daily, and still can’t handle the pressure. Somebody please help him-

🤎🦝He tries to ask Ranpo for advice (probably a bad idea) and Ranpo outs him immediately. (“Oh, you’re crushing on y/n, aren’t you?”) Ranpo advises him to just confess already. The World’s Greatest Detective definitely already knows that you’re crushing on Poe. It doesn’t take a genius to see how much you’re pining for each other!

🤎🦝Cafe dates!! Library dates!! Anywhere decently quiet and calm. Poe really doesn’t like large crowds, so maybe no big social gatherings. He enjoys just relaxing at home and reading next to you.

🤎🦝Loves physical affection, but is so so so shy about initiating it. Please just grab him and snuggle him so he doesn’t have to worry about it. Hold his hand! Give him kisses, if you can reach! He absolutely loves to cuddle. With how tall he is, he makes a great big spoon. He could probably just envelope your entire body with his.

🤎🦝Apparently he’s also rich?? Not certain if this is canon (edit: it is!!!) or not but we’re going with it anyway. That way, he can spoil you. If you like to read, he will buy you so many books. You’ll never have time to read them all. Artist? He’ll buy you art supplies! Any other hobbies? Taken care of. Saw a cute necklace/dress/outfit/whatever? It’s on your doorstep within a week.

🤎🦝All in all, a phenomenal pick. Perhaps the best in the show (in my opinion, anyway). Yeah he’s super clingy and insecure, and has some interesting mood swings, but he’s still just a good lad who deserves all the love in the world. Plus he has a pet raccoon, and that’s just really cool.

[kimtaesss]

OUR BELOVED HOME | JIN. 1

Summary: your relationship wasn’t perfect, but it was good enough for both of you. Yet that all changes when you caught your sister and husband in bed.

Pairings: Jin x reader

Genre: lots of angst, barely any fluff, toxic Jin

Warnings: Y/n has some trauma!!; Potential friend?; Physical fight with blood!; Jin cussing out y/n! Hospital visit; verbal abuse; Jin spitting on y/n! Jin!!!! Mia ( y/n’s sister)!!! Not really smut but some touching.

Next chapter > Jin. 2

“So when did you notice your relationship drift”

The lady in front of you crosses her leg onto the other, and clicks on her pen. You notice her patiently waiting for you to respond back, so she can write on her piece of paper. So she can write about how you failed to keep your relationship intact.

“I’m not sure. I guess when I found him in bed with my friend”

The lady chocked on her salvia and you looked down. You knew it was going to shock her, it shocked you. But if you kept rambling on and on, instead of getting straight to the point you’d never get the aid you desperately want and need.

“I’m sorry” she excuses her self, and clears her throat several times to allow the left over saliva that got stuck be gone.

“It’s okay, it’s not like I expected you to react differently”

“No it’s was unprofessional of me so I apologize”

You crack a grin, to give her comfort seeing as she was distressed about her lack of professionalism. You were the one that needed comfort, yet somehow you ended up comforting her.

You check your phone, to make it seem as if you had to be somewhere.

“I’m so sorry, but I actually forgot I had to be somewhere. Maybe I could reschedule?” You question unsurely back.

“Oh. I mean yes, of course you can! Just call the office, and we can set up a new appointment”

She knew you were not coming back but still she tried to let you know, that if by any chance you change your mind, you could give a call back.

You wave her goodbye, and walk out of the door as quickly as possible. And once you stepped out of the door, the building, you felt this sense of relief. You weren’t sure if it was because you weren’t sitting down in front of a stranger, confessing all the sins your husband committed within your home or if you were just embarrassed for not being enough.

Maybe both.

You searched for any Ubers. You couldn’t take the car since your husband left an AirTag on it which meant he would see you were in another therapy session. And if he saw that you were in another therapy session, then he would leave you for being so weak.

“Stupid phone! Why are you so slow!”

You hit your phone plenty of times, thinking that it would fix the problem. Instead you see your phone, fall straight down to the ground. You wanted nothing more but to end this day, it’s been tough for you to say the least.

You look around before you actually try to pick up your phone. Phones fall on the ground regularly, but it was still embarrassing having to bend down and pick it up. What if your underwear stick out? It’s not like they were sexy, or even decent looking. But they were comfortable, so you shouldn’t be too insecure, yet you are.

You focused on how others see you. You were always cautious about that, however, once you entered the relationship you are in now it’s been getting worse. You weren’t sure why, you knew he loved you but you also knew that they are people out there who are better looking, smarter, funnier and overall stood out more.

Having no other choice, you lower yourself to reach your phone, and don’t flip it until you get back up.

Please don’t be cracked. Pretty pretty please.

Carefully you turn the phone around, while your eyes were squeezed, making it barely clear of how exactly your phone turned out.

“Fuck my life!” You angrily yell.

This should have not happened. Now, how the hell are you getting home?

“Want to use mine?“

Great! Now a stranger is offering help, which only means you look like you need help, and that means you’re a pity party.

But then again, you do need to communicate with your husband if you want to get the hell out of here and safely.

“Can I?” You questioned worriedly back.

“I mean I know you said I could technically, but is it really okay to use it?”

“Yeah, it is” you hear him belt in laughter.

What the hell was so funny? Maybe there was something on your face, or maybe he’s just enjoying your misery. Either way, you were feeling uncomfortable. Especially when your husband wouldn’t pick up, not even after the third ring.

“He’s probably busy” you make an excuse, before the stranger comments about it. He probably wasn’t going to, after all it’s not his business, yet you chose to explain or more like cover your embarrassment by blaming your husband. You’re a terrible, horrible wife.

“Well… I do feel bad if I leave you here alone without a way to contact someone so… is there a way I could help you? Maybe a ride? Or if you don’t feel comfortable I could call you an Uber?” He rambled on.

With every question he made, he found a way to add more. He was unsure of how to help you out, without overstepping. He just wanted you to feel safe.

“I- uh”

“But then again if I order you an Uber, it would ask for your location” he interjected, worried that you’d think he was some creep just trying to find out where you live.

“Well if it’s okay with you, can I just send a message through your phone to my husband?”

“Yeah, of course! Whatever you feel comfortable with, I’m cool”

“Thanks” you shyly said.

He passed you his phone carefully, and stood there patiently waiting, as you typed your husbands number on his phone. You were overthinking of what to say, without giving too much information. Without, having him think the worst of you. Especially since this attractive man is helping you out. You don’t even process whatever you said, or more like what you thought.

My phone died and I’m using a strangers phone, if you could do me the favor of picking me up at the cafe I always go to, that would be cool! But only if you can! Love you :)

You wanted to reread the message you sent, but you didn’t want to look like a loser in front of a stranger. What kind of person does that? Especially to someone they are supposed to feel secure with.

“Thanks” you muttered, while passing the phone back to him.

“It’s really no problem. I’ve had this problem way too many times”

It’s like you wanted to believe him, but you couldn’t help but feel like he was just trying to make you feel embarrassed. After all your phone is not working, because of your clumsiness, and lack of control when it came to your feelings.

“Oh! I’m Jimin by the way, it’s nice to meet you”

He stretched his hand, and attempted to shake yours. You, however, being in your own little world, didn’t realize until it was too late. He quickly retracted his hand, and put in his pockets.

“Sorry, I’m a bit out of it today”

“Rough day?” He stupidly asked.

“Well yeah I guess it was” he quickly was reminded when you nodded your head with confusion.

“Yeah” you scoff. “It was a pretty shitty day” you continue to blab on.

“Want a coffee? There’s a near by cafe, and it’s amazing” he raised his eyebrows, as he buried his hands in his hair.

Now, you’re all for stranger danger. Your parents even gave you a whole presentation about it but it was free coffee, hopefully? And you also would be in public, so there’s not much he could do.

“Sure, why not?” You gleefully answered back.

You walked side by side, and without realizing it, the corners of your mouth quirked up. With his own mouth beginning to turn up as well.

This was supposed to feel wrong. So, why the hell did it feel so right?

“So where do you work?”

He took a sip of his drink, which he immediately regretted; seeing as the coffee had just come out which only meant it was boiling hot.

You couldn’t help but laugh. Maybe it was because he had a little mustache left over, from the sip he had just taken. Or maybe it was the way he had his tongue hanging out of his mouth, and his hands became a fan to ‘fan away’ the hotness, you guess.

“Glad to see you broke out of your shell to laugh at me” he tried to sound upset, but his face said something else. His eyes sparkled, while he bit on his lips, to prevent himself from laughing along with you.

“You’re laughing too!!” You accused back.

“Well it was funny, okay?!” He answered with a higher pitch tone, almost sounding like he was straining it.

“Yeah it was” you whispered. You glanced back at Jimin to see if he had heard it.

While you looked to see if he had heard, you noticed the way his eyes bored into yours. You felt this intense heat wave coming, your face was feeling it too.

“I was wondering if—“

Before he could finish his sentence, you heard your name being yelled.

“You wanted me to pick you up, to see you be a whore?! Really, Y/n?”

Fear crossed your face. Your eyes were practically shut, as you did not have the guts to face him, like at all. But then you heard another voice intervene, and that’s when it really hit you.

You were screwed.

“That’s not the way you treat your girl! Your wife!”

You had to do something! But you were afraid, you were afraid of making things worse. Maybe it would be better to just beg for forgiveness, even though you hadn’t done anything wrong, per se.

Sure, you were having coffee with a stranger, who happens to be male, but you had no ill intentions, you just wanted a friend. You just wanted someone to listen to you, even if it sounds ridiculous. You missed talking to someone, anyone and so you used this one chance. It was clearly a mistake.

“She’s my wife! Why don’t you back the fuck away from me, before I ruin your pretty little face!” Your husband, Jin screamed like a maniac. His face was completely red, and even a vein popped out of his neck, and forehead.

Jimin scoffed, and gave the dirtiest look you’ve ever seen to your husband.

“Try me bitch”

He immediately pulled his sleeves up, and you just knew shit was about to go down.

You saw Jin walk towards Jimin with no hesitation. If there was one phrase or word that Jin hated the most was ‘bitch’.

You immediately ran in the middle, and push both of your arms out.

“Stop! Just please stop” you pleaded with every single bit of strength and courage you had in you.

You saw Jimin’s eyes soften, but Jin’s were only filled with more fury, with more passion to hurt him.

“You’re a whore, you can’t say shit” Jin spits on you, without caring how he looks, how you look.

“That’s it” Jimin runs to tackle him down on the ground, and easily succeeds. You guess his height was not a disadvantage. You were a bit surprised to say the least.

“Oh my god! Oh my god!” You repeatedly shriek.

You looked around, spinning in circles for someone, anyone to jump in and save Jin but no one ever did.

You had no other choice but to rely on yourself, but you just couldn’t. What if you got hit in the process? What if you make it worse? But then again, what if Jimin kills Jin?

That was your final straw! You immediately began running towards them, and as you got closer to Jimin’s back, you slapped him over and over again.

“Get off of him! Jimin! Please!” You shout while continuing to slap him repeatedly.

It wasn’t enough to actually get him off but his punches weren’t as rough, and that was a win; a small one, but still a win.

It wasn’t until Jin stopped responding to his comments that he stopped.

He began to slowly back away, and examined his bloody hands, his white t shirt being painted with all the red blood. He froze, but still felt this intense guilt and anger. Why did he do that? Why couldn’t he control himself?

He had to run away, and was planning to but his gaze landed on you. You looked so scared and fragile, and he was the cause of it all. He hated to make others feel that way, he didn’t want to be a monster.

“I’m so— I’m sorry” he stammered.

“Leave!” You cried out.

You wanted to hate him, be angry even. But the truth is, he saved you. You weren’t sure how things would have ended if he hadn’t intervened but then again, he had just hurt someone. Maybe he didn’t or couldn’t see the bright side of it when he had just physically beat someone up.

He frowned, and looked over to your husbands state. He understood. He understood that you saw him as a monster, like everyone else did. This is why he hated to socialize he always messed something up.

He began to walk away, his back was turned to you as you watched him leave. You had hoped he looked back just once so you could thank him, so you could reassure him that you understood.

You began walking towards Jin, and had this sudden urge to look back and so you did.

It was then you both locked eyes, and you whispered, “thank you.” You weren’t sure if he was able to read your lips, but you still felt more at peace knowing that you somewhat got to say it.

You smile to yourself before walking back to your husband. You look down at him, and see the bruises, the swollen face with blood painted all over him.

Your eyes were filled with tears, as you reached down to him. You moved his hair slightly, and gave him a tiny peck.

“Take me home” He hissed.

“Okay” You whispered back.

It only took you 20 times before you managed to lift him up. When you lifted him up, it took you even longer to get him in the car. You weren’t the strongest, and he wasn’t the lightest. It was simply not the best combination.

When you finally managed to get him in the car, with a couple bumps in the way. Such as, his head constantly hitting the top of the door, and him falling over on top of you when you couldn’t carry him anymore.

“We’re almost home” You muttered, hoping it made feel more at ease.

“Thanks Mia”

Mia? Why was he thinking about your sister right now? Poor thing, he must of hit his head pretty hard.

You had to make sure he was not out of it, which meant going straight to the doctors. Hopefully there was no permanent damage. Because despite everything, you loved him and you were sure enough he loved you back.

He’s just overworked a lot these days, that’s why the roses stopped coming, and all those planned anniversary dinners have been postponed.

He was going to come back to you, and you were going to patiently wait until that happens. After all he is your husband, and you’d be with him through sickness and everything else that followed along.

It’s been 3 hours since you’ve arrived at the hospital and have not gotten a single update. You’ve gotten impatient and could not deal with this alone.

You called the only person you could trust and confide in.

“Mia please come” You desperately said.

Even though, she had just barely accepted the call. You couldn’t help it, hospitals made you nervous. They always bring bad news. They never provide you with any happiness.

“Come where? What’s wrong? Are you okay? Is Jin?”

She had so many questions and although you know her concern is reasonable, you don’t want to be asked questions. You just wanted someone next to you, holding your hand and telling you that everything will be okay.

“No! He’s in the hospital. Please come! I’ll send you the address” You spit everything all out at once. It’s a good thing your sister excelled in understanding you, when you get like that.

“I’m on my way!“ She responded immediately.

You heard her keys, and her door slam and instantly you felt a little bit more relieved.

‘She’ll be here soon, y/n don’t worry’ You said under your breathe, fidgeting with your fingers.

It’s been 15 minutes and she’s still not here, and there’s still no news from the doctors.

“Excuse me sir” You blurted once you saw a doctor walk by your area. This waiting game is not for you.

“Yes, how can I help you?” The doctor softly replied.

“I’m sorry to bother you, but my husband has been here for 3 hours now, and I haven’t gotten a single update or anything” you rambled on until you couldn’t breathe anymore.

“Well let me check on that for you. What’s his name?”

“Thank you so much! And Kim, Kim Seokjin” You nervously answered back. Your voice kept breaking, due to your worried state.

“Okay….. yup! Looks like he’s stable for now”

It felt like a weight was lifting off your shoulders. Your husband was really doing okay, and that’s all you could ever ask for.

“Oh. Well, thank you so much again sir!”

He bowed and walked away immediately. You could only assume, he was busy. You pray he gets a meal in and some rest, it must be so hard working nonstop to save lives.

“Y/n!!”

You follow the voice, and see your sister frantically running towards you. Her hair was frizzy, and she accidentally wore two different slippers.

It was a silly mistake, but it made you crack a smile. The thing you haven’t been able to do throughout the whole time here.

“Thank you for coming!” You hug her with all the force you have. You really needed her embrace, it’s always the one you felt most safe with. Well, hers and your husbands, of course.

“Of course! Your my sister, I’m always here for you”

“Don’t say that cause I’m going to cry” You clear your throat and continuously blink to prevent you from actually crying. You’ve had enough of that already.

“Sorry” she quietly apologized.

“So what happened with Jin? Is he okay?”

“Yes! Well, I just talked to the doctor and he said he’s stable, so that’s good.” You shared while looking away from her.

“That’s good!” She cheered.

You were just thankful she didn’t push for more information. But you also noticed she was hesitant to continue asking just about anything. You simply gave her the signal that it was okay for her to continue on.

“Have you seen him? Can you?”

“I’m not sure but I think so? Maybe I should ask?” You inquired back.

“Yeah! Go ahead and ask. And while you’re asking, make sure they let you know if he needs any medicine or if he’s badly hurt!” She emphasized, and although she is very cautious, sometimes that scares you. Why is she always so precise?

“You think I should ask all that? I mean wouldn’t they have told me if he was really bad?”

“You could never trust doctors. Plus it’s always better safe then sorry! Right?”

“I guess you’re right” you sighed.

“Yeah! Go ahead while I go to the bathroom”

“Alright well text me if anything, okay? You know I worry about you”

“I will! Now go on” she shooed you away.

She must really have to pee, or maybe she already has by the way she was rushing you.

You guess it’s time to bother the doctors, but it’s all for Jin so it’s going to be worth the bother.

“Where’s y/n?“

“She’s talking to the doctors right now” you answered with sass.

Why was he so focused on her? Especially when he had you in front of him.

“Oh” he hummed. “So why are you here?” He rolled his eyes, while running his hand through his hair.

He was annoyed, and seeing you wasn’t making him feel better. He badly wanted to press the button next to him and have you kicked out but then Y/n would have so many questions.

“To support my sister? Why else?!” She tilted her head, while folding her arms.

She was acting like some innocent bystander, when really she was the real criminal.

He scoffed. “Yeah, cause you’re a great older sister”

She scoffed right back. “And you’re a great husband?” She threw her head back.

“Yeah I am, actually” he argued. He gave a half shrug, as if he was really sure of his response.

“I didn’t think you’d still considered yourself as a great husband after you know, sleeping with me, her sister” She gave a bitter laugh, while stepping closer to him.

“Yeah well I guess we’re both fucked up” he let out a harsh breath.

“Yeah…. I guess” she whispered.

She ran her fingers up his thighs. The robe he had on was very revealing, and it was definitely making her feel some way.

“What are you doing?!” He shrieked, by the random outburst of Mia.

Y/n was probably on her way back, and here she was trying to seduce you. She’s fucking crazy.

“What does it look like I’m doing?”

She pressed her fingers to his lips. Jin immediately followed her finger movements with his eyes. He bit his lips, clearly falling for whatever show she was putting on.

“You’re going to get us caught” He gulps, once Mia moved her hand further up his robe.

“Please… my sister is soooo worried about you, I’m sure she’ll bother the doctors with millions of questions” she snickers at the Jin’s lack of adventure. And why the hell was he so worried about getting caught?

“Yeah….” He scoffs. “She’s great like that” he gently smiles.

“Ugh! Stop thinking about her”

She stepped on the stool, to lift herself up to match his height. She reached over, until she was placed right on top of him. She could feel his boner directly on her. He groaned, as she kept swaying her hips.

“Fuck” he moaned.

“I just knew you missed me” she giggled, as she got closer to his lips.

“I sure did” He placed his hands behind her head and pushed her even closer to him. He closed the gap between them both. His tongue makes it’s way into Mia’s mouth.

They didn’t care who heard them or who saw. They weren’t aware of the consequences they were about to face.

“So, he’s okay right? I mean there’s no permanent damage? Or maybe there is?! I mean I could help him out if you just tell me what to do. I could—“

“Breathe” he lifted his hand up and down, as he inhaled and exhaled.

You followed along with him and his tempo. You were making yourself crazy, you kept breathing hard and you simply couldn’t do anything about it.

“Sorry! I just feel like it’s all my fault, I didn’t protect him and— and he’s all hurt” you cried.

He placed his hands on your shoulder, and looked you directly in the eyes, “I can assure you, it’s not your fault”

“But I-“

“But nothing! You brought him here, to aid him! Which means you care about him and that’s all one could ask for”

You clean your boogers with your shirt. You knew you looked gross, you were even grossed out with yourself.

“Yeah I guess that’s true”

He nodded his head.

“So, can I see him?”

“Of course! But visitations are over in 30 minutes, so I’d rush on over there if I were you”

“Okay!” You ran towards the room your husband was currently resting in. But then you remembered how you rudely brushed off the doctor, even after answering your ridiculous amount of questions.

You stopped, and ran back to the doctor.

“Yes?” The doctor looked at you, patiently waiting for you to say anything, instead of just staring.

“Thank you so much!” You shout.

He begins to laugh, “you welcome!” And waves you goodbye.

You wave back, and go back to your running. You couldn’t wait to see your husband. It was only 3 hours but you missed him so much.

This time things were going to change. You wanted things to go back to the way they were, so you held a grudge and pushed him apart.

You both clearly needed to work on things, but you loved him so much. You didn’t care if it took weeks, months, or years.

You wanted him. You loved him with your all.

You finally get to the room and plan on knocking, because you always respected privacy. But you wanted to start off fresh with a surprise. You wanted to show him that you were willing to put the effort.

“Jin! I love you so much and I wanted to—“

Sounds of skin slapping together, the hotness from the closeness of the two bodies.

Your world was shattered into the tiniest pieces. Pieces so tiny, they were barely visible to the naked eye. You wanted nothing more then to scream, cry, maybe a little bit of both mixed together. But you stand there and can’t even begin to form the right words, expressions, anything to explain how you were feeling.

“Y/n! It’s not what it looks like”

Why lie? Why lie, when you can clearly see your sister on top of your husband. When you can clearly see that this was not the first time they’ve done this. When you can clearly see, that your marriage was over a long time ago.

It was only until now that you were able to finally realize that.

You were betrayed by the two people you love the most and the worst part was they didn’t seem to care enough to hide it.

Tag list: @mwitsmejk @ikonsiconic @pretzelssbangtan @evafrechette @taelici0us @bjoriis @sukakakakakakkq @laylasbunbunny @belovedsthings @kimxhanbin131 @got7usernames @bambamsthings @rainfprest @whipwhoops @bloodline1632 @proudbtsstanfightmebeach

[p0orbaby]

How Do You Plead?

Summary - Two conversations, one decision.

Warnings - More angst, alcohol, language

Authors note - Part 2 of One Too Many

Word count - 2.3k

Navigation | Series Masterlist | W.M Masterlist

It was already dark when you arrived at Tony’s. You’d driven around the city for hours trying to calm yourself down. It obviously didn’t work because you were knocking on the front door of the Stark residence in hopes of finding someone to rationalise what you were feeling.

Moments later you heard shuffling coming from behind the wooden door and the click of several locks before the door swung open, revealing a disheveled Tony.

“Y/N, what on Earth are you doing? It’s the middle of the damn night”

“I need to talk to you. Any time, any place, remember?”

“Has this got something to do with Wanda ringing me for the past several hours? Because if it does I don’t think being here is the best option when you obviously have a frantic wife waiting for you at home”

“Please Tony, can I come in, it’s serious”

Your desperate tone had him relenting and opening the door wider so you could go inside.

Having been there many times in the past, you knew where he kept the liquor, so you made a beeline for it, grabbing a bottle of the strongest thing you could find.

“Ah, what are you doing? Nope Y/N put that down, that’s a vintage”

Ignoring him, you twisted the cap and took a sip straight out of the bottle, not even bothering with a glass.

“Right well okay, you now owe me a couple thousand dollars, so whatever’s going on, it better be worth it”

You relished the feeling of the alcohol slowly working it’s way into your bloodstream. The burn was a sweet relief from the building panic you were currently fighting.

Finally putting the bottle on the nearest surface, you slumped into a chair, head in hands and let out a long sigh.

“Are you going to tell me what the matter is? Or are you just going to drink yourself to death before I have any indication of what’s going on?”

“We had a hospital appointment today, a scan actually”

“There’s nothing wrong with anything, is there? Wanda and the baby are fine right?”

“Everything and everyone is how it should be” you replied, mirroring the words Wanda said to you earlier that day.

“Oh good, you had me worried that something bad had happened for a second there”

All you could do was let out a small chuckle. Bad was an understatement in your opinion. This was a situation you hadn’t planned for, hadn't expected and definitely didn’t want. So if it wasn’t bad, then what was it?

“It was such good news, I saw my life flash before my eyes and it was filled with double the tantrums, double the diapers and half the amount of sleep I was planning on getting, which wasn’t a lot to start off with”

Tony was a smart man, very smart to be exact. That’s why it was so comical that he was sat staring at you with a blank look on his face, trying and failing to comprehend what you had just said.

“Twins, Tony. We’re having twins”

There it was, the lightbulb moment you were waiting for. His eyes widened and a large smile covered his face as he stood and patted you on the shoulder.

“Oh wow, congratulations Y/N, that’s amazing news!”

“Is it? Is it actually? You know just think about it, one kid I got my head around. Took a while. But two? Nope I can’t do it. Two at the same time, fuck that”

“Hmm, I see the dilemma”

“God, I’m so glad you agree, Jesus I thought you were gonna rip me a new one”

“I mean the dilemma you’ve created for yourself after you’ve run away from your pregnant wife. I get it you’re scared but running off and hiding isn’t going to help matters”

“Well what do you expect me to do, huh Tony?” You stood, now pacing around the room throwing your hand in the air as you talked. “Lie to her and tell her how happy I am. Pretend this is all I wanted and more?”

“Yes, precisely that”

“And that would make it better how? I’d be living a lie. She wouldn’t want that”

“But you storming off and leaving her all alone was a better decision? Even you’re not stupid enough to believe that”

“If all you’re going to do is argue with me about this then I’m leaving” you stated matter of factly as you headed towards the door.

“No, fuck, Y/N wait, you can’t drive now, you can stay here for the night”

“What, so you can just judge me in the morning as well?”

Tony ran his hand across his face. Either to stop himself from getting frustrated with you, or because he was trying to keep himself awake. Either way he took a long sigh and ushered you back through to the lounge.

He sat next to you on the couch this time, but not before he poured you a small glass of whisky.

“Right, I know you’re upset about this but you have to listen”

You scoffed at him and took a sip of your drink.

“No, I mean it. You’re going to listen to what I have to say. You’re going to sleep off this pissy mood. And then tomorrow morning you’re going to go home, to your pregnant wife, and apologise like it’s the last thing you’ll ever do. Got it?”

All you could do was sit and stare at the glass in your hands. You felt like a child being scolded by a parent.

“I’m probably not the best person to talk to you about this stuff. But that also makes me the person who understands it the most. You remember how I was right? Before pepper?”

You nodded, who could forget. The big headed party animal with too much money to spend and too many women to choose from.

“Pepper put up with a lot. Too much. And I didn’t make her life any easier when we found out when we were pregnant either. I was terrified. Me, a father? Who would’ve thought it? But then when Morgan was born, everything changed. I wasn’t just responsible for myself anymore. I had a baby to protect”

“But that’s the thing, I don’t want to have to be responsible. What if I fuck up and I mess them both up beyond repair? What if they hate me and push me to the sidelines?”

“That’s not going to happen”

“But how could you possibly know that?”

“Because I thought the same things. Look, I’m not going to tell you it’s going to be all rainbows and daisies, because it isn’t. But unfortunately you’re the only one that can come to terms with that, no one else can do that for you”

“Well that’s great, just what I needed, to be told I’ve got to do this alone, thanks Tone”

“For God's sake Y/N, stop putting words in my mouth. If you really think you’re alone in this then why did you come here? Who's been at home worrying about you? Because if that’s alone then I don’t know what to tell you”

It wasn’t often you felt sorry for yourself. For the most part you were quite a resilient person. But this was a situation you can’t see yourself ever getting excited about.

“The guest room is already made up, so you can stay in there. Don’t drink that whole bottle because I doubt Wanda wants a bill sent to her door with the stuff you’ve put her through already”

He stood and made his way to the door of the lounge, but before he left the room he turned, looking at you with a sympathetic smile.

“I’m not going to stand here and tell you what you did was okay, because it wasn’t. You can’t run from this, but it’s not a crime to take a little time to get your head around it all. If anything, do it for Wanda, she needs you more than she lets on”

And with that he was gone. The room was now silent apart from the thoughts that were swirling around in your head.

-

You laid awake most of the night dreading going home. You couldn’t face Wanda. You were ashamed that you ran, embarrassed with your reaction to the news. But you still couldn’t bring yourself to come to terms with everything just yet.

Like Tony said, it could take some time.

You left the house before anyone rose for the morning. Not wanting to be subject to the ridicule of Pepper as well as Tony. You weren’t in the mood to be lectured again.

It wasn’t until an hour later you got home. Deciding to take another drive to talk yourself into going back.

Finally pulling into the driveway, a cold chill ran through your body. Normally this place brought you so much joy and comfort, but right now it felt like you were about to walk into the principal's office.

Stepping out of the car on shaky legs, you walked tepidly to the front door. It was now or never. Taking a deep breath, you unlocked the door and took a step inside. It was eerily quiet. You almost thought Wanda had gone out. But then you heard clattering coming from the kitchen.

There was a brief moment where you thought about heading straight upstairs and not bothering facing your problems, but you couldn’t do that to Wanda for the second day in a row. So you made your way through to the kitchen.

You found her with her back facing you, washing dishes at the sink. She must not have heard you come in, so in an attempt not to startle her you placed your keys on the kitchen island with a soft jangle.

She turned at the noise, finding your gaze as soon as she did. Her eyes were red rimmed and puffy. Dark circles had found their place around them. It was obvious she hadn’t slept. It made you curse to yourself that you had done this to her.

“I didn’t hear you come in,” she finally said, turning back to what she was doing.

“I didn’t want to scare you so I tried not to be loud”. It wasn’t a complete lie. “Do you want any help?”

“It’s fine, go up to bed, you look tired”

“So do you”

“Well I wonder why that is”

Her tone was curt. One she didn’t use often. Reserved for only the most serious of instances.

“Wanda I-“

“I don’t want to hear it. Not right now at least. Just, please, go to bed, I’ll wake you later when dinner is ready”

-

Wanda was right, you were tired. She had to result in shaking you with quite a force so you would wake. You’d been asleep for twelve whole hours. It was definitely needed.

The table was set as normal and she’d placed everything in their usual spots. The only thing different was the obvious tension that was floating around the room. Ready to be sliced by whoever was willing to talk first.

The silence didn’t last long, Wanda was never one to beat around the bush.

“Have a good time at Tony’s last night?”

“I wouldn’t say fun, but helpful I guess”

“Want to share this helpful information? Or was it for your ears only?”

“Just some stuff about becoming a parent is all”. You tried to keep your answers as vague as possible. Not wanting to hurt her further by letting her know about your outburst last night.

“Right, because that’s not what I’ve been told”

“I'm sorry?”

“According to Nat, Tony said you didn’t want to be a parent”

Damn you Tony.

“Well, they’re lying”

“So you do want to be a parent then”

“Wanda, can we talk-“

“Answer the fucking question”

You dropped your cutlery with a clank and closed your eyes. This was what you wanted to avoid. More arguments. More shouting.

“I'm scared,” you said quietly, keeping your head in your hands as you leant against the table.

“What, and you think I’m not? I’ll have you know I am scared Y/N. I’m fucking terrified. But I can’t just run off when I feel like it. I'm the one that's going to have to deal with this. More than you”

You didn’t know what to say. Of course you were selfish enough to not even think about Wanda in this situation. Other than the fact you’d left her when she needed you. But it’s her body that’s going to go through drastic changes. How she can’t just up and leave any time she gets tired of it all.

“You need to make a decision” her voice cut through your thoughts. “I want you to stay, I need to be here. But I’m not going to raise these children with someone who doesn’t want to be involved. So you need to choose whether you want to stay with me. Us. Or whether you’re going to leave”

“You. It’s always you” you rushed out. The decision was easy. Never did you think you’d have an ultimatum like this.

She let out an audible sigh at your answer. The fact that she was so relieved with what you said just proved that she thought there was a slim chance you'd end everything and leave her for good. That made your heart hurt more than you thought possible.

“And the babies? Is there any part of you that wants to stay for them?”

“It’s going to take time. But I’m willing to try, for you”

Just as it seemed like the conversation was over for now, Wanda cleared her throat to indicate she was about to say something else”

“One other thing. If you’re going to stay, I want you to go back to therapy”

Taglist

General Taglist: @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @jromanoff @diaryoflife @xxromanoffxx @marrymemcgrath @smileyromanoff

[babyboibucky]

The Match - Part 9

Pairing: CEO!Bucky x Fem!Reader

Summary: Bucky brings you and Mackenzie with him to an important meeting.

Word Count: 3.3k

Warnings: Uhhhh hmm work tension, sexual tension, idk Bucky and Mackenzie being annoying as usual lmao

A/N: ALSO I know I haven’t mentioned what the fuck Bucky’s company is all about because c’mon, I didn’t expect I’d get this far lmao so IDK there might be continuity issues or inaccuracies or whatevah, just ignore it lmao it’s fiction. ANYWAAAY, I just want to say how GRATEFUL AND OVERWHELMED I am with the amount of attention that this series is getting. I appreciate every feedback, every ask and every freaking debate about this shit lmfao. I love you guys. I can’t put into words how much I appreciate you all askcnasjkcnak bye

The Match Masterlist || MAIN MASTERLIST

Don't let Bucky or Mackenzie get to you.

Mark's advice rang in your ears like a chant as you watched Bucky and Mackenzie's exchange about the project. Joining them in the conference room for a major brainstorming session was you and a couple of people from your team with Beverly taking down the minutes of the meeting.

The upcoming project was a huge one, given that Barnes Group of Companies was a huge name in the automobile industry. Meanwhile, Wilson Enterprises is one of the biggest autonomous vehicle technology companies out there. This partnership was one for the books, possibly an industry changer too.

You wanted to be a part of it, wanted to spearhead the entire thing and watching Mackenzie take the reigns on this one was truly making your blood boil.

"That sounds like a nice idea, Kenzie." Bucky praised, nodding his head.

Mackenzie shrugged, "It's what I do, Buck." she said.

"Yeah, it's a great idea. I do have some comments though, if you don't mind?" you asked.

Bucky and Mackenzie exchanged glances before turning to you. You glanced at Bucky for a quick second before ignoring the way he was eyeing you with genuine interest.

"I know that bringing in a celebrity to endorse this brand new model would definitely create noise around the partnership. Although I think that would take the spotlight away from the actual product we're creating here. We want customers to focus on the brand new car model and the technology that Wilson Enterprises will be providing it with, not on the celebrity endorser." you explained.

Mackenzie hummed, "I get where you are coming from. That's a good point, actually. But a celebrity endorser will pretty much do everything for the brand. Have him up on billboards and different advertisements and you're all set." she further explained.

You chuckled, "But then how will people understand what the entire partnership is all about? Aren't we supposed to be communicating a certain message to our consumers? Wouldn't it be better to hold an event to launch the product instead? Invite the press and key opinion leaders to spread the word. Have Bucky and Mister Wilson talk about this partnership. They're famous and powerful enough to get the message across. Why waste the budget on a celebrity when we literally have everything we need to make noise?" you shrugged.

The entire room was silent after your feedback, even Mackenzie wasn't able to respond to your suggestion. Glancing over at Bucky, you saw that he was giving you the look-- the one with half-lidded eyes matched with a head tilt, the one that often resulted to him giving you a very nice reward once office hours are over.

Feeling your breath hitch in your throat, you quickly looked away and shrugged your shoulders, "I mean, that's just my two cents. Having worked here for years, I just based it on my experience. You're the expert here, Mackenzie." you offered a proud smile.

Mackenzie tried to brush it off and turned to Bucky, "What do you think, Buck? I'm still into the idea of hiring a celebrity. That's good publicity. And let's not get worried about the budget now," she said, placing a hand on top of Bucky's that was resting on the table, "I have a lot of connections so I can definitely get an endorser for a much lower rate." she reassured.

"We may have a huge budget for this, but that doesn't automatically mean that we have to use it all up. We can allocate it somewhere else, maybe start a CSR campaign as well? We are, after all, coming out with an environmental-friendly model." you suggested.

You heard Bucky when he took a sharp inhale, bringing his hands up to rub his lips as if in deep thought. He then turned to Beverly, however, his eyes remained on you.

"Take note of everything she says." he reminded her before standing up.

He asked everyone else in the room of their opinions, whether it was your or Mackenzie's idea that the company will go for. The team was divided in half, some of them preferring Mackenzie's celebrity pitch probably because they didn't want to do a lot of work.

Bucky nodded, "Well, I guess we'll have to discuss both ideas with my partner Sam and let's see where we will go from there. I have a meeting with him this afternoon, I need you and Kenzie with me there." he said, looking at your before turning to Kenzie with a charming smile.

Don't let them get to you.

-

You've never wanted for the ground to swallow you up until this moment as you stood behind Bucky and Mackenzie in the elevator. This felt so much more uncomfortable than when you shared it with Bucky after swiping right with him on Tinder. There was still tension and it felt so much worse now because you didn't know whether it was between you and Bucky or him and Mackenzie.

Fucking Mackenzie and her nicely manicured nails which always seemed find its way around Bucky's arm. You eyed her hands as they squeezed his arm, the both of them talking in hushed voices as if you weren't standing behind them.

"I've been dying to try this restaurant, I heard they serve good food. Do you want to go have dinner there sometime this week?" she asked Bucky.

"I'll check my schedule, which restaurant is this?" he asked.

When Mackenzie uttered the name of that restaurant where you celebrated your promotion, you and Bucky choked on your own spits at the same time. Warmth crept up to your cheeks at the same time Bucky's ears reddened.

"Oh, what's going on?" Mackenzie asked with a nervous chuckle as she looked at you and Bucky, struggling with your coughs.

You recovered first and shook your head, "Sorry, I get allergies. Anyway, I've been to that restaurant. They do serve good food, the staff was very hospitable as well. I'm sure Bucky would enjoy it there." you said with a smile, pushing your way past them when the elevators door slid open.

Mackenzie asking Bucky whether he was up for dinner was the last thing you heard. Good luck explaining to her why he's banned from there, you thought to yourself.

Bucky led the way to his car and it instantly brought certain memories back. You weren't going to lie, you missed the fucking and how Bucky always made sure to take care of your needs. Seeing his car was enough to make your thighs clench at the memory of him fingering you as he drove.

His gaze was on you when he opened the door to the passenger's seat, his eyes inviting as you approached him. And just as when you were about to slip in, he turned over to Mackenzie and gestured for her to get in.

What a fucking asshole, you thought to yourself as you took a step back to ride in the back instead. You tried to keep your expression stoic when you saw that Bucky checked for a reaction. He seemed perplexed when he saw that you didn't react that much to what he did.

One hundred points to Gryffindor.

-

The location for the meeting was at a nearby restaurant so you didn't suffer that much during the entire ride. Mackenzie was busy with her phone anyway, typing out messages with those manicured fingers you were beginning to hate.

By the time all three of you arrived, Sam was already there. He donned a navy blue suit and he was rocking it. You'd seen his photos on the internet and knew that he was good-looking, but seeing him in the flesh, you were stunned at how gorgeous he was. Sam stood up when he saw Bucky, offering a kind smile to you and Mackenzie.

You weren't sure whether you were just being assuming or what, but you noticed how his eyes lingered on you longer that it did with Mackenzie.

"Sam." Bucky greeted, shaking his hand before introducing you and Mackenzie.

Sam shook Mackenzie's hand first before he turned to you. You took his hand and introduced yourself, "Mister Wilson." you said.

"Please, just Sam." he told you as he gently squeezed your hand before letting go.

"Have a seat." Sam said to Bucky and Mackenzie before pulling out the chair next to him, motioning for you to sit down.

You thanked him and sat down; straightening up, you were met with Bucky's watchful gaze as he sat down across you. Your attention was taken away when Sam asked what you wanted to order, he even suggested a certain dish and immediately went to discuss that it was his favorite thing to order.

This was going to be an interesting meeting.

And interesting it truly was, because you didn't expect for Sam to be so laid-back and easy to communicate with. He wasn't one of those uptight CEOs who were very intimidating to work with. Simply put, he was the complete opposite of Bucky. While Bucky was ice cold, Sam was sunshine and warmth with his attitude.

When it came down to pitching your and Mackenzie's ideas to him, you suddenly got nervous. Sam wasn't born with a silver spoon in his mouth; from what you've read, he started off working regular jobs before he climbed his way to the top. He was a self-made man and he had extensive knowledge in the marketing industry, having a doctorate degree in the said area.

Mackenzie was the first to discuss her strategy about hiring a celebrity endorser. She said it was fast and straight to the point. When it was your turn, you started off a bit shaky but eventually found your pacing.

"We wanted to ask you how this should go on about. I know that the offer for a partnership came from our end and that we're supposed to pitch the details for it. But we wanted you to be involved in this as much as we are." Bucky further explained.

Sam nodded and let out an amused chuckle, "I really appreciate this, Buck. I was going to ask you if I can contribute with the planning as well. I'm very particular when it comes to marketing our products." he said.

"That being said, I loved both ideas. I think hiring a celebrity endorser is good." he said, making Mackenzie smile proudly.

"But I would rather hold an event to launch the product. You understand the product and what we want to do with it. It's not just a brand new car, it's an innovation and the messaging is very important. I'm very impressed." Sam said, his attention geared towards you.

"Wow, I'm honored." you laughed. "Coming from you, I mean I've read about the marketing studies you did. Pretty big deal to receive a compliment from you." you admitted.

It was meant to be a genuine reaction, really. You had no ill intentions for it, you didn't do it to make Bucky jealous or get the upper hand. However, your passion for your career and area of expertise seemed to favor you. It had Bucky on edge, seeing you and Sam get along so well.

You didn't even need to check for Bucky's reaction because he simply cleared his throat and excused himself to go to the restroom. Mackenzie seemed unbothered though, when Sam favored your pitch over hers. You couldn't read her, sometimes she'd come off competitive but right now, she was unaffected.

When Bucky got back, he was quick to finalize the meeting, "I guess it's a done deal then. We'll work on the details of the launch and maybe we can set another meeting for the major presentation for your approval?" he asked Sam.

"That sounds like a plan. I'm looking forward to working with you." Sam told everyone, although he did seem to be directly addressing you.

"Alright, I'm leaving too." Mackenzie announced after Sam left the restaurant.

"Oh, you're not heading back to the office with us?" Bucky asked.

Mackenzie shook her head, throwing her bag over her shoulder, "I have another meeting. You know how it is with freelance work." she said as all three of you stood up to head outside of the restaurant.

"My Uber's here, I guess I'll see you both sometime this week." she said and waved at you before turning to Bucky and pressing a kiss on his cheek.

"I'm counting on that dinner, okay?" she reminded before slipping into her Uber, leaving you and Bucky to head back to the office together.

Alone with Bucky. In his car. The exact same car where plenty of fucking happened. Again, you chanted Mark’s advice in your head over and over again.

Don’t let Bucky get to you. And most of all, don’t cave in.

You quickly slipped inside the front seat of Bucky’s car before he could even open it up for you. The air was thick between you and Bucky and it almost felt like it was suffocating you. Reaching for the seatbelt, you tugged at it but it wouldn’t budge. Cursing to yourself, you tried again but to no avail.

“What’s wrong?” Bucky asked.

“Nothing. Seatbelt’s just stuck.” you grunted, using both your hands to pull down at it.

“Here, let me.”

Suddenly, Bucky reached over to your seatbelt and tried to fix it. His face was inches away from yours and you literally felt your insides jump at how you were immediately drowned in his perfume. If you moved forward so much as half an inch, your lips would already be pressing against the corner of Bucky’s mouth. And that thought was sending your senses into overdrive.

Do not. Cave. In.

The loud click of the seatbelt made you relax and thank goodness that Bucky was quick to move away from you, fixing his suit before starting the engine. The office may just be nearby but the fact that you and Bucky were together was making it feel like it was going to be an hour-long drive.

“So what do you think about Sam?” Bucky asked out of the blue.

He was gauging you, trying to get a reaction from you. Maybe he was expecting you to be flirty with your response, or be defensive even? You weren’t going to give him that.

“I think he’s great. Like I said, I’ve read his marketing studies and they were very insightful. I learned a lot.”

Plain, simple and safe. There was no hidden meanings and no malice; you were doing great at this whole not letting Bucky get to you thing. You made a mental note to thank Mark for his advice.

“He seems interested in you.” Bucky said again, shrugging his shoulders a bit and trying to be as nonchalant as he could.

“Well we are in the same field of expertise and I was very straightforward about admiring his skills. I’d be disappointed if he brushed off my ideas.” you slightly chuckled.

“I liked Mackenzie’s idea better, honestly.” Bucky blurted out.

By this time, you had Bucky’s plans figured out. He was coming for your job, using it as a bait to get a reaction out from you. He knew how much your career meant for you, how competitive you were in your field. Whenever his other tactics wouldn’t work, he’d always go for the career aspect.

“It was good.” you agreed, turning to Bucky with a small smile. “I think we can do that for other campaigns. Just not with this partnership. I like her.” you said.

“You do?” Bucky asked in surprise before he cleared his throat upon realizing that he sort of broke his facade.

You shrugged, “She’s a headstrong woman. She reminds me of myself actually.”

If you were alone, you would have given yourself a high-five because that statement truly made Bucky think. His forehead creased as he drove, his hand rubbing his chin and his jaw clenching as if he was in deep thought.

It was silent inside the car for a brief moment, before it was interrupted by the trilling of Bucky’s phone. He fished it out of his pocket but before he could even answer it, it slipped out of his hand and disappeared beneath his seat.

“Fuck.” Bucky cursed, both his hands on the steering wheel as he continued to drive, his attention divided between driving and searching for his ringing phone.

“Shit.” he hissed again, not knowing how to get his phone while driving. He quickly glanced at you before focusing on the road again. “Baby, can you get it for me?”

You almost missed the term of endearment. Almost. It was obviously a slip of the tongue because he genuinely didn’t seem to realize that he called you that. Bucky was more focused on the road rather than processing what he just said. You chose to ignore it the same way you did to the butterflies that erupted in your stomach.

“Yeah, okay.” you said and reached over to him, bending down to look for his phone.

In a split second, your face was right in front of Bucky’s crotch as you tried to reach beneath his car seat. You tried to ignore the bulge that was staring right at you and let your hand do the searching.

“Can you reach it?” Bucky asked.

You straightened up, “No. Can you pull aside?” you asked.

Bucky checked the surroundings and then the rearview mirror, “We can’t. We’re at a no loading and unloading zone.” he explained.

The phone continues to trill and it doesn’t seem like it would stop any time now. You sighed and removed your seatbelt before stretching your body over Bucky, slipping underneath his arms on the steering wheel so you can fully reach under his seat.

From another car’s view, you looked like you were giving him a blowjob. Not that you haven’t done that before, in this same car.

Finally, you felt his phone at the tip of your fingers and stretched further, your free hand coming to grip Bucky’s thigh unintentionally. It was only when you felt his muscles flex beneath his trousers that you realized how near your hand was to his crotch.

“Did you,” Bucky cleared his throat. “Did you get it?” he stammered.

You still have a certain effect on him, how very nice. Biting back a smirk, you hummed in response before pulling back and then handing him his phone casually. Mackenzie’s name was flashing on the screen as the phone continued to ring.

“Sorry, can you answer it and put it on speakerphone?” Bucky asked again.

You shrugged and did as you were told, holding the phone near Bucky as he continued to drive.

“Hey, Kenzie. Sorry, I dropped my phone. What’s up?” Bucky asked.

“Yeah, so my meeting got cancelled at the last minute. I was thinking maybe we can grab that dinner tonight instead?”

Bucky stole a quick glance from you but your face remained stoic, your hand steady as you held out his phone.

“Sure, how does around 7pm sound? I can pick you up.” Bucky offered.

“Sounds great. So are we checking that restaurant I was talking about?”

Bucky’s ears turned red again but he quickly recovered, “I was thinking of trying out a different one. I honestly didn’t like their dessert.”

Huh, that was weird. You and Bucky didn’t even make it to--

Fuck, he was talking about you, you realized. Clenching your jaw, you tried to keep calm. He was trying to get a rise out of you, don’t give in. Don’t react. Bucky’s conversation with Mackenzie didn’t last long and ended when they settled the location for their dinner.

The ride back to the office was quiet again, until your phone lit up from a notification. Bucky was already parking in the basement when you checked your phone, an audible gasp slipping past your lips upon reading the notification from LinkedIn.

Samuel Wilson wants to connect with you.

-

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