#tw Survovors Network

[lostsouls-house]

I was gonna say something angry but I realized quickly that that wasn’t what I wanted to say. As one of your ex friends I do care, I don’t check on your blog to see how you’re doing because I don’t care. Just because we’re not friends now doesn’t mean I don’t care now or didn’t care then. You’re free to delete this ask/ignore it but I just wanted to say my peace.

This took us weeks to sort our feelings on, so if you are checking Anon- I hope you see this.

First, let us say that we are not talking about anyone we still have as friends on Discord. We are talking almost exclusively about our former friends from the Survivor's Network, mostly mods.

If this is @circulars-reasoning , then you're right. You did care, and we thank you for that. We miss you, and we're sorry you get lumped in with the people you hang out with. We wish things could have been different, but they weren't. Whatever we say, it's not aimed at you. That said, we think it's time we talked about why we left in a more substantial presentation than vague posting. Because if this is a specific *dude*, then you should know how fucked up everything between us was.

Unfortunately, we only ended up modding for the Survivor's Network for a few months. When we joined, it felt like coming home. We had a brilliant mod team, we all had similar views and we worked very well together. We even got a new writing partner out of it. We were on top of the world. Working on the rules, creating a safe space and making things for the anti-endo community just a little more comfortable. Oh, and the voice chats! We had such a great time in those spaces. That's what we miss the most. But the atmosphere changed for us as our new Writing Partner began to enter awkward territory. We are no strangers to flirting and we are not opposed to enacting the rights of our open relationship, but this quickly became uncomfortable and emotionally manipulative. We have long been in silence as they are a huge name on Sysblr and were know no one would believe us over them. We do have receipts but for now we are choosing to keep them to ourselves. If the need is there, they will be released but we'd rather not have to paw through thousands of trumatic messages.

None of this is in any particular order, as our brain is very averse to revisiting the server these things happened in. But we do still have it, it and all the things said in it. We are going to place this list in bullet format and under a cut. You are welcomed to DM us any questions after this, but I doubt we will have straight answers as we're still scared to *actually* name them.

- Made our protective alter feel like a monster.

- Made us feel like we somehow cheated on them if we spoke in the SN before our private server.

- Used a situation I was venting about to try and make me feel bad after they "tried to help" by sending us a car part WITHOUT TELLING US. They used it to make us feel like we had done them wrong when we hadn't even known it was happening.

- Made our partner System feel like they were monsters.

- Tried to convince us that we were either ALL IN the relationship with this person, or all out. As in we either commit or we don't be friends.

- Pressured us to tell them any and every dark thing going on in our mind.

- Pressured us to make sure our protective Alter was never around when they were, shutting down to one word answers when certain alters would appear.

- Generally getting upset when we split new alters.

All of this and more in the space of three months. I cannot go back to the Survivor's Network because this personnas far as I know is still a mod there. They are older than me and manipulative as hell.

So if you *are* still watching my blog please note that your stupid little servers ended me in the hospital and into new psych treayment to deal with the scars you left.

We're are tagging this so it's seen. Ask us whatever, but I will not be giving a name until I can go through mentally and screencap everything. If you're asking yourself "Why now?"- It's because the alter that spit to protect us from this person finally gave us to okay. So here we are, telling the story. Believe me or don't I don't care.