#actually I think the song can go both ways
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── ୨୧ ! SAILOR SONG
matt sturniolo x reader
SUMMARY: Where Y/N and Matt have a comfy indoor date; baking together.
WARNING: Making out.
REQUESTED?: Yes, by an anon.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism, copy, or "inspiration"! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.
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'I saw her in the rightest way'
The kitchen was an absolute mess, a delightful, chaotic swirl of ingredients strewn across the counters, flour dusting the air, and the aroma of vanilla mixing with the sound of their favorite playlist softly drifting in from the living room. The afternoon light streamed through the windows, casting a warm glow over the scene as Y/N stood at the counter, carefully measuring flour into a white-ish ceramic bowl. Beside her, Matt was leaning against the counter, his eyes fixed solely on her, watching her with an intensity that could have melted chocolate.
"Okay, so you just, like, throw the flour in, right?" Matt asked, breaking the comfortable silence, reaching for the open bag with the kind of reckless enthusiasm that spelled disaster.
Y/N’s eyes widened, her hands instinctively darting forward to stop him.
"Wait, wait- Matt, no!" But it was too late. A poof of flour erupted like a mini explosion, covering both of them in a soft, powdery cloud.
Matt froze, blinking through the haze, and then burst into laughter, his shoulders shaking.
"Oops." He said with that boyish grin of his, the one that made Y/N’s heart do a little flip every time.
She tried to glare at him but failed miserably, laughter bubbling up as she brushed flour off her cheek.
"You’re such a mess." She teased, shaking her head, her eyes sparkling.
"And yet, here you are teaching me." He shot back, eyes crinkling at the corners. "Guess that says something about you, huh?"
"Yeah." She said with a mock exasperated sigh. "That I’m a hopeless romantic who thinks you can actually learn how to bake."
Matt just grinned, leaning in to steal a quick kiss on her flour-dusted nose, making her scrunch it up adorably in response.
"Alright, lover boy." Y/N said, shaking her head with a smile. "Let’s try not to blow up the kitchen, okay? I need you to grab the sugar next."
"Yes, ma’am." Matt replied, snapping a playful salute before turning to rummage through the cupboard. He managed to grab the sugar jar without spilling anything this time - progress, she thought with a fond smile.
They continued to work side by side, the kitchen filled with the sweet scent of vanilla and sugar. Y/N would occasionally reach out to correct Matt’s technique, her touch light but effective. Every time their hands brushed, Matt would flash her that lopsided grin that always made her cheeks warm. She tried to stay focused, but with him being so close, so effortlessly charming, it was a losing battle.
At some point, they both reached for the vanilla extract at the same time. Their fingers tangled, and Matt shot her a playful look.
"Hey, who’s the baker here?" Y/N teased, nudging him aside with her hip, her laughter light and teasing.
"I don’t know, I don't see them anywhere." He joked, pretending to search around the room, making her roll her eyes though the grin on her lips was impossible to hide.
They kept mixing and measuring, Matt’s enthusiasm both endearing and chaotic. Just when everything seemed to be going smoothly, he made his biggest blunder yet. He grabbed the baking soda and dumped a generous amount into the bowl, not bothering with a measuring spoon.
"Matt, no!" Y/N gasped, her eyes wide with horror. "That’s way too much! You’re going to ruin the batter!"
Matt looked from the bowl to her, then back at the bowl, his eyes comically wide. But instead of panicking, he simply shrugged and started laughing, his laughter so infectious that Y/N’s frustration began to dissolve.
"Matt, I’m serious." She groaned, burying her face in her hands. "This was supposed to be perfect, and now they’re going to taste like-"
"Hey, hey." Matt said softly, reaching out to gently pull her hands away from her face. "Come here, sweetheart. I'm sorry, yeah?"
Before she could protest, he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her into his warm embrace. Y/N sighed, trying to hold onto her annoyance, but the way he was looking at her - with that soft, adoring gaze - made it nearly impossible.
As if the universe was observing them closely, te next song on the queue started playing, and when Matt realized that it was one of their favorite - Sailor Song by Gigi Perez, obviously - his body started swaying gently, bringing her with him.
"What are you doing?" She asked, trying not to smile, her voice softening as her hands found home against his biceps.
"Distracting you." He said, his lips brushing the shell of her ear. "Is it working?"
Y/N tried to stay annoyed, but the tenderness in his eyes melted her defenses.
"You are so ridiculous." She said, but her words were softened by the smile that tugged at her lips.
"Ridiculously in love with you." He murmured, resting his forehead against hers. "Can you forgive me?"
Y/N’s heart fluttered, and she let out a soft, defeated sigh, leaning into him fully.
"Fine." She whispered, her voice barely audible over the music. "But you’re still fixing the batter."
"Deal." He said with a grin. And before she could pull away, he spun her around in a quick twirl, eliciting a surprised, joyful laugh from her, her apron flowing around her body.
As she came back into his arms, breathless and giddy, her eyes met blue soft ones, shaking her head.
"You really are something else, Mr. Sturniolo."
"And you love me for it." He replied, leaning in to press a soft kiss to her forehead. He lingered there, breathing in the sweet scent of her hair, the warmth of her against him.
"Yeah." She said, her voice barely more than a whisper. "I really do."
With the playful moment fading into a comfortable silence, they returned to the counter, side by side once more. Y/N sighed dramatically, surveying the batter that was now slightly too foamy from Matt’s over-enthusiastic addition of baking soda.
"Okay, let’s see if we can salvage this." She said, her voice taking on that determined tone Matt found so adorable.
"How bad did I mess it up?" He asked, a wince escaping his lips.
"Not too bad." Y/N admitted with a small, fond smile. "We can balance it out with a little extra flour and sugar."
"Got it." Matt said, nodding eagerly as he grabbed the bag of flour, waiting for her instructions.
They worked together to fix the batter, Matt actually listening this time, his focus unwavering as Y/N explained what to do. After a few minutes of adjustments, Y/N dipped her finger into the batter for a taste test. Her eyes lit up in pleasant surprise.
"Hey, it’s actually good!" She exclaimed.
Matt’s face broke into a proud grin.
"See? I knew I could fix it." He said smugly.
"Mm-hmm." Y/N hummed, rolling her eyes playfully. "Pretty sure I did most of the fixing."
"But it was my idea to fix it." He countered, leaning in to press his lips against her warm cheek.
"Alright, let’s get these in the oven before you mess up anything else." Y/N said, lifting the tray carefully.
Her fingers were nimble as she adjusted the rack, carefully placing the cupcake tray into the preheated oven.
Matt couldn’t help but stop for a bit and just stare, leaning against the counter with his arms crossed, his eyes never leaving her. There was something about watching her work, so effortlessly absorbed in what she loved, that made him feel as though the entire world had slowed to a gentle stop just for them.
It wasn't his fault. He reasoned to himself. It wasn't his fault he found everything she did so endlessly endearing, so worth watching with that starstruck gaze that his brothers teased him about. The way her brows furrowed in concentration, her fingers dusted with flour, her lips pursed slightly as she adjusted the oven dial; it all made his heart swell.
Y/N stood up, wiping her hands on her yellow apron and closing the oven door with a soft clink. She turned to grab the timer, only to notice the way Matt was staring at her, eyes sparkling with that familiar, dazed expression. He looked as if he were lost in a dream, his gaze so soft it made her heart skip a beat.
Feeling the heat rise in her cheeks, she tilted her head slightly and smiled shyly.
"What?" She asked with a soft laugh, setting the timer up. "Do I still have flour on my face?"
Matt didn’t answer right away, his eyes never wavering from hers. It was like he was in some kind of trance, completely mesmerized. After a few seconds, he finally blinked, his lips curling into a soft smile.
"Yeah." He said simply, his voice so low and gentle it made her stomach flip.
Before she could ask where, Matt stepped forward, closing the distance between them in a few strides. His hands found her waist, pulling her close. Y/N’s breath hitched, her eyes widening slightly as he leaned in, his breath warm against her skin.
"Right here." He dipped his head and began to trail soft, lingering kisses along her jaw. His lips brushed tenderly against her skin, and with each kiss, he pulled a soft, breathless giggle from her lips. The sweet sound made him smile against her cheek, his eyes closing as he continued his path to her chin, and then to her cheeks, where he left playful kisses that were so light, they were almost ticklish.
"Matt." She breathed out, half-laughing, half-sighing, her hands coming up to rest on his chest. Her fingers traced slow circles over his shirt, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath the fabric.
He paused, hovering just above her lips, so close that she could feel the ghost of his breath on her mouth but not quite touching her. His eyes were locked on hers, and there was a playfulness mixed with adoration in them that made her knees feel weak. He knew exactly what he was doing, teasing her like this.
"Matt." She repeated, her voice a whisper now, filled with a hint of impatience.
"Yeah?" He murmured back, the corners of his lips twitching upwards.
Y/N narrowed her eyes at him, her lips twitching as she tried to suppress a smile.
"Kiss me properly." She demanded, her voice barely above a whisper.
'Oh, won't you kiss me on the mouth and love me like a sailor?'
He chuckled softly, his eyes never leaving hers as he leaned in just a fraction more, brushing his lips against hers, still not quite giving in. But Y/N, never one to be outdone, closed the remaining distance, pressing her lips to his in a soft, sweet kiss that sent warmth blooming through her chest.
Matt’s arms tightened around her waist, pulling her even closer as their kiss deepened, slow and unhurried, like they had all the time in the world. Y/N’s hands wandered from his chest to his biceps, squeezing slightly at the firmness there, before sliding up to his shoulders and finally into his hair. She tugged gently, earning a soft sigh from him that she could feel warming up her face.
Their lips curved into smiles as they kissed, each touch and movement so full of affection it made Y/N’s heart feel light. Matt blindly started to sway their bodies again, following the slow rhythm of the indie song, his hands exploring the small of her back, fingers spreading wide as if he wanted to memorize every curve.
Y/N sighed into his mouth, her fingers threading through his hair, and for a moment, it was just the two of them, no kitchen, no baking, just the soft, sweet connection between their lips and the feel of each other’s warmth.
But the intimate moment was abruptly interrupted by a sudden, loud DING! from the oven.
The sound made Y/N jump slightly, pulling away from Matt with a startled gasp. Matt couldn’t help but laugh, the joyous sound filling the kitchen as he pressed one last, playful kiss to the tip of her nose.
"Guess that’s our cue." He said, still chuckling as he gave her a quick eskimo kiss, their noses brushing together.
Y/N laughed, shaking her head as she gently pushed him away.
"Goofball." She muttered affectionately, her cheeks still flushed.
Reluctantly pulling away, Matt released her from his embrace, giving her one last, lingering look before letting her turn her attention back to the oven. Y/N leaned down to peer through the glass, her hands resting on her knees as she checked the cupcakes.
Matt watched her from behind, unable to resist the fond smile that tugged at his lips. The sight of her brows knitting together as she inspected their work made his heart swell.
"They look perfect." Y/N announced, turning back to him with a triumphant smile.
"All thanks to you." Matt came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his chin on her shoulder. "I love baking with you." He whispered, his voice soft and sincere.
"Even if you’re terrible at it?" She teased.
"Especially because I’m terrible at it." He replied, pressing a kiss to her cheek. "Gives you more reasons to stick around."
'And we can run away to the walls inside your house'
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#chris sturniolo#sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#nick sturniolo#matt sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo fluff#matt sturniolo imagine#matt stuniolo fanfic#matt sturniolo x yn#matt sturniolo x y/n#matt sturniolo x you#matt sturniolo x reader fanfic#matt sturniolo x reader fluff#matthew bernard sturniolo#matthew sturniolo x reader#matthew sturniolo#matt fanfic#fanfic#matt sturniolo oneshot#oneshot#sturniolo triplets x reader#sturniolo triplets fanfic#fluff#baking#sailor song#imagine#Spotify
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Alrighty this is gonna be long but I'm bored so HERE WE GOOO
Kyomu Mori questions
1.Are they associated with a certain colour? What colour do they wear the most?
Because if his hair colour, I'd say he's accosiated with light blue. He usually wears more muted-ish colours like grey, dark blue, and white, but he loves wearing yellow
2. What sort of music would they like? Have you thought about what genres or bands do they lean towards? Do they have a favorite song?
He prefers rock music. Basically any music that makes you feel like you can take on the world. He loves vibing to those. And just because I don't have a fav song, neither does he 😅 (my fav songs change within a week)
3. Weapon of choice? Any particular reason they chose their weapon?
Guns. Any kind of gun, though he prefers pistols and other small, handheld ones. He likes guns because he's always been talented with them. That, and that he was raised by Snipe
4. How crafty/resourceful are they?
I'd say about a 7-7.5 out of ten for this one. Not the greatest, but he can conjure up some resourcefulness when he wants to
5. How do they typically dress? Does their wardrobe lean more toward practicality or aesthetics?
Depending on how he's feeling, his clothing choice changes. On a good day, he'll go for a nice-fitting tank top. On a bad day, he night go for a loose-fitting t-shirt. His clothing style is casual, but kinda aesthetic in a sort of steetsy-kinda way(??). Fashion/aesthetics are important for him, but you'll never catch him wearing anything with pockets he can't shove his whole hand into
6. How do they wear their hair? Do they care a lot about how their hair looks?
He almost always wears his hair in a high ponytail. Although he does this to get his hair out of the way, he always makes sure his hair looks presentable. He's the kinda guy to use a bit too much conditioner
7. Favourite animal? Why?
Dogs. Specifically german shepherds. Because he thinks guard dogs are cool af
8. Do they have a nickname? Who gave it to them? If it's not derived from their real name, what's the story behind it?
His nickname is Kyo. Ashido gave him it randomly one day, and Kaminari immediately started using it too
9. Favourite food? Least favourite? Are they a picky eater? Do they have any dietary restrictions?
Fav: Burgers. Specifically bacon burgers. Least fav: Tomatoes. He's not really a picky eater, but he's not even TOUCHING anything woth tomatoes in it. And he doesn't have any dietary restrictions
10. If they wear jewelry, what kind? Do they prefer silver or gold? Do they have a favourite gem?
He wears earrings and has an eyebrow piercing, but he'll toss on a necklace or two if he wants to look presentable when going out
11. What do they have in common with you? How are they different? Would you get along with them?
He doesn't have a lot in common with me. Ig we both question authority?? Also we both live guns. Overall, he's MUCH more confident than me. We are quite different. I'd say I wouldn't get along the greatest with him, mainly cuz he likes physical touch, and that is something I HATE. You touch me randomly and I freeze, as well as shoot you a dirty look XD
12. How long have they been around? Do you know their birthday? Is their birthday the day you made them or another day? What do they think of celebrating birthdays?
He has been around for 16 and a bit years, and his birthday is on April 6th. This is not the day I made him (actually this is the first I'm hearing of making their release date into their actual birthday. I shall do this for another of my ocs :) ). He loves his birthday cuz it gives him attention xD
13. What languages do they speak? How fluently?
He can speak Japanese, English, and Filipino. He speaks Japanese fluently. His English isn't the greatest, but he's learning from school. His Filipino is REALLY rusty, but he can hold a basic conversation. He knows Filipino because his father is from the Philippines, and he learned the language as a kid, but he hasn't really used it since highschool
14. Are they any good with numbers?
Not really sure how to interpret this, but he's not the greatest at math
15. How big or small is their family? Who did they live with growing up? Do they live with anyone now?
His parents died. He lived with Snipe growing up. Currently, he's living in the UA dorms
16. Do they have any pets? What do they call their pets?
He doesn't have any pets, but he wants a dog. He also kinda maybe sorta wants a bird
17. How did they spend their summers/free time as a child?
He spent a lot of his time at the shooting range growing up, and it's always been a place of comfort to him
18. Their opinion on lying, stealing, and killing?
He thinks they're bad, obviously. But,,, he does think they are justified, and even necessary, in many cases
19. Are they quick to anger? What sets them off?
He doesn't really anger quickly. He's more laid back. And although he does get angry when someone hurts/threatens his friends, he also gets angry when many little things go wrong. Like, you know those days where everything seems to go wrong and you're tripping on things and dropping things? Yeah that gets him angy quickly
20. If applicable, can they drive? If they have their own, what colour is their vehicle? Is the inside neat and tidy, or a mess?
The legal driving age in Japan is 18, so he can't drive. But he may or may not fail many a driving test in the future... Also he has sworn that his future car WILL have racing stripes.
21. Their favourite place to be?
The shooting range
22. Do they sleep well at night?
Kyomu sleeps like a little baby, if that baby takes up the whole bed while sleeping and falls off the bed randomly in the night
23. How would you describe their voice? Can they sing?
His voice is on the louder side. I don't have a voice claim yet, but I may find one eventually. Also he can't sing. Granted, it's def not the worst out there, but it couldn't be considered "good"
24. Do they have any creative hobbies? (Art, writing, music, etc.)
He likes doing graffiti, tho he doesn't do it often. Other than that, he likes to listen to music
25. How good/bad is their hearing? What about their eyesight?
His hearing is a little better than what is considered normal, and his eyesight is good. Little fun fact about his eyesight: He sees yellow slightly better than any other colour. Yellow is very slightly more vibrant and bright to him
26. How do they move? Are they clumsy? Light on their feet? Do they use mobility aids?
Because of how his legs are built, he is slightly more light on his feet. His footsteps don't make a lot of noise. He can be a bit clumsy tho. He's not the most careful with his actions
27. If applicable, do they have a favorite sport? Do they play any sports or prefer to watch?
He likes basketball (probably cuz Kyomu has a height advantage over his friends). Watching sports is boring to him, and he prefers to play some friendly basketball with his friends
28. How do they show they care about someone? How do they express that they don't like someone?
Kyomu shows he likes someone by doing things with them and touching them (not like that. Stop it.). He'll ruffle his friends' hair or playfully poke them, and he's always down to give a massage if asked. Sometimes he'll even find his tail involuntarily grazing by the legs of those he loves.
29. Are they accosiated with any particular element (air, earth, fire, water)?
I don't think he's really "accosiated" with an element, but he'd probably be water
30. Do they smell like anything notable?
Nope. The only notable smell-related thing I can think of is that he sometimes uses women's deodorant because it smells better than men's "forest mud deodorant" or whatever it's named xD
31. Do they like receiving gifts? Giving gifts? What is their ideal gift?
He loves receiving gifts, but not giving so much, because he rever really knows what to get people. His ideal gift is any like, small, neat, unique, silly trinket. He loves collecting silly shit his friends give him
32. Do they have any hobbies that aren't particularly self-destructive, just maybe odd?
Not a hobby, but he drinks the pickle juice out of the jar when he finishes all the pickles.
33. If applicable, how would your other characters describe them? I mean specifically the people around them.
I don't have any other Mha ocs as of rn, but I can do this for his friends. Also I'm not gonna go into how each character would describe him, so ima do how the characters see him Kaminari, Ashido, and Sero see him as kinda like a cool older brother, and they live hanging out with him Kirishima and Jirou see him as a wee bit much, but they still love him and love the energy that he brings to class. Bakugou doesn't like him. Especially cuz Kyomu is taller than him and he doesn't like that Others like Iida, Midoriya, and Ochako don't care for his rebellious personality, but they will admit that he brings up the mood of just about whatever situation he finds himself in
(The thing above is being a bitch and is refusing to be coloured blue and now we must all suffer.)
34. How would your character describe themselves? It doesn't have to line up with who they really are.
Kyomu thinks of himself as more or less the "popular kid" that just about everyone likes. He would describe himself as brave, strong, and willing to stick up for what he thinks is right
35. Do they ever return home?
. . . . ?? He never "left" home?? I mean, he is living in the dorms rn, but idk what this question is getting at :/
Tagging @bluespider008 because I found these questions cuz you posted yours, but I didn't want this to take up a ton of space on my blog, so I just reblogged the original post 😅
Idk if you wanna see this, but you're seeing it now!
Also feel free to reblog with your oc :)
i wanted to make an oc ask game 😋 things i like to ask people abt their characters:
are they associated with a certain color? what color do they wear the most?
what sort of music would they like? have you thought about what genres or bands do they lean towards? do they have a favorite song?
weapon of choice? any particular reason they chose their weapon?
how crafty/resourceful are they?
how do they typically dress? does their wardrobe lean more towards practicality or aesthetics?
how do they wear their hair? do they care a lot how their hair looks?
favorite animal? why?
do they have a nickname? who gave it to them? if it's not derived from their real name, what's the story behind it?
favorite food? least favorite? are they a picky eater? do they have any dietary restrictions?
if they wear jewelry, what kind? do they prefer silver or gold? do they have a favorite gem?
what do they have in common with you? how are they different? would you get along with them?
how long have they been around? do you know their birthday? is their birthday the day you made them or another day? what do they think of celebrating birthdays?
what languages do they speak? how fluently?
are they any good with numbers?
how big or small is their family? who did they live with growing up? do they live with anyone now?
do they have any pets? what do they call their pets?
how did they spend their summers/free time as a child?
their opinion on lying, stealing, and killing?
are they quick to anger? what sets them off?
if applicable, can they drive? if they have their own, what color is their vehicle? is the inside neat and tidy, or a mess?
their favorite place to be?
do they sleep well at night?
how would you describe their voice? can they sing?
do they have any creative hobbies? (art, writing, music, etc)
how good/bad is their hearing? what about their eyesight?
how do they move? are they clumsy? light on their feet? do they use mobility aids?
if applicable, do they have a favorite sport? do they play any sports or prefer to watch?
how do they show that they care about someone? how do they express that they don't like someone?
are they associated with any particular element (air, earth, fire, water)?
do they smell like anything notable?
do they like receiving gifts? giving gifts? what is their ideal gift?
do they have any habits that aren't particularly self-destructive, just maybe odd?
if applicable, how would your other characters describe them? i mean specifically the people around them.
how would your character describe themselves? it doesn't have to line up with how they really are.
do they ever return home?
#Holy fuck this took so long#Lol#Kyomu#Oc#My oc#Original character#my original character#oc stuff#Mha#Bnha#Mha oc#Bnha oc#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#mha original character#bnha original character#Reblog#Questions#my oc stuff#My hero oc
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WHERE’D ALL THE TIME GO?
CHAPTER ONE
ִֶָ 𓂃⊹ ִֶָ new summer , new camp , new people. you were beyond ready to take on the next few months , but you had to get through your first day before that comes.
word count 7.7k
warnings profanity , mentions of underage drinking , sexual innuendos , mentions of a cult.
CAMP JESSAMINE was going to be your permanent summer camp , you decided. just the drive to get to the campground was a perfect time. your best friend , taylor , was with you— with some persuasion , and the weather was perfect. the windows to your car were rolled down , stereo to the highest volume as it pumped out the tune of your favorite songs.
you and taylor were the type of people that listened to very specific songs that would only ever make the best coming of age movie soundtrack. it was something very special to the two of you ; romanticizing your lives through music.
as you turned onto the driveway before the parking lot in front of the administration building , two weeks by grizzly bear was playing. taylor reached over , twisting the volume knob to lower it as she took in your surroundings.
“this looks much better than skyline ridge did,” she pointed out , leaning out the open window just a bit.
you laughed at the welcomed diss on your old camp. “i don’t think that’s a tough standard to beat , but i do agree. this is a lot nicer,” you replied , rolling to a stop in the gravel lot. there were several cars already parked— some of the staff showing up to help orientation along.
the radio cut silent as you killed the engine before you reached over and grabbed your tote bag. “we need id’s and..?” taylor trailed off , looking through her own bag.
“just our id,” you reassured her, “lets go check in.”
you both clambered out of your car , not having stood on two feet for several hours. your heart was pounding as you made your way to the front door. it was decorated with a banner above shouting, ‘welcome to camp j!’
with one hand clutching taylor’s , you push the door open and step inside. there’s a line of tables with staff members behind them , helping some new staff members sign in and get instructed on where they’d be bunking for the summer. you were silently praying that taylor and you would be close to each other if not paired up.
“hello! welcome on in , guys!” it was a blonde girl , probably your age , waving you two over. her hair was the perfect amount of curled and flowy for it to look naturally effortless , and her smile was practically blinding you as you walked her way. she looked like the human embodiment of sunshine. “hi , what are your names?”
“y/n,” you answered before clarifying, “y/l/n.”
the blonde didn’t even need to look down at the clipboard in her hands before letting out an excited squeal. “ah! you’re my newbie!”
taylor laughed for a moment before covering her lips with a hand. “and me? taylor mcmahon?”
“ooh , you’re with cleo,” sarah— if she was wearing the proper name badge, answered with a smile, “she’s one of my best friends. our cabins are actually pretty close to each other , too. she’s probably in the dining hall right now getting our dinner set up for tonight , but i’m sure you’ll meet her soon. actually , i’m almost done for my shift of signing people in , so if you wanted i could bring you guys around. introduce you to cleo and kiara. she’s another one of my friends who works here.”
while sarah talked and got papers ready , you could feel a good summer coming in your veins. you and taylor were paired up with two best friends and wouldn’t be staying that far a part , and the girl you were paired with seemed plenty nice.
“i think we’d love that,” you smiled back , picking up a pen and filling out the small sheet handed to you. meanwhile , taylor’s eyes were elsewhere.
“who is that?” without looking up , you know she found a boy to ogle from across the room, “and can he be my newbie?”
sarah chuckled for only a moment before she cut herself off. “oh,” she spoke , eyes landing on katherine’s latest find. “that’s—“ you didn’t really listen to who it was , focusing on your form to get it out of the way as fast as possible.
any allergies? no. any food allergies? no. any health conditions that require medication? no. favorite color? green. favorite drink? probably coffee? you finished filling the blanks before slipping the branded pen into your pocket.
“here you go,” you cleared your throat , handing sarah the slip of paper before picking up your bag from the floor, “anything you need to give me?”
sarah grinned , noticing you wouldn’t be a newbie newbie , just someone who hadn’t been to camp jessamine before. “just your name badge , some t-shirts , the cabin key , itinerary , and list of campers!” it was all handed to you in a packet , badge and lanyard laying on the top of it, “let me grab taylor’s and we’ll head over to the cabins.”
taylor took her own packet and lanyard , slipping the blue loop over her neck with a smile. “you know what , y/n/n? i think you were right : this will be a good summer.” her eyes were still trained on the guy at another set of tables.
looking at him now , you could actually scan over him. camp jessamine t-shirt a half size too small , making his arms budge out of the sleeves just a bit ; buzzed hair ; beyond tall ; perfectly tan skin. “you can have ‘im , babe,” taylor started, “i’ll take his friend.”
your eyes shifted ever slightly to the right , taking in the dark skinned boy that just entered the building , immediately going to his friend and dapping him up. “i don’t date guys from camp , tay. that’s like rule number one.”
“you guys ready?” sarah’s voice cut through your conversation.
“let’s go!” taylor beamed , hooking her arm in yours.
leading you back outside through a different door , sarah began her tour. “so we were just in admin , and that is the gymnasium,” she pointed across the way at another bigger building. it had an outside court as well , giving away its title. “over here is the dining hall , so we’ll stop in for cleo.”
she was smiling the whole time , as if this was some paradise , and you couldn’t help but hope that’ll be you next year. “how long have you been a counselor here?” you wondered , looking all around you all while following sarah through the grass.
“forever,” she simply answered, “i think my first actual memory is from this camp. i went every summer growing up ; a lot of us did. the next move was to obviously start working here,” she continued to explain , slowing her pace just a little for you two to keep up. her eyes noticed how you and taylor were trying to take everything in. “and here we are!”
ever the welcoming committee , sarah opened the door and let you walk through. “sare , who you got with you today?” a boy spoke up , heading your way. she quickly kissed him on the lips before ‘presenting’ you and taylor to the few others in the dining hall.
“y/n , taylor , this is john b , cleo , kiara , and pope,” she introduced everyone , pointing at each of her friends, “guys , this is y/n and taylor. y/n is my bunk buddy , and cleo you get taylor!”
“alright , come here , girl! let me check you out,” cleo hyped taylor up before pulling her in for a hug, “i’m not the newbie anymore , y’all.” the last bit was directed to her friends.
you all laughed at her words , knowing almost all of you had felt that feeling before. “were y’all headed to the cabins?” pope had asked , breaking up the chuckles.
“yeah,” you nodded, “sarah wanted to stop and grab cleo before we settle in.” as you answered , your eyes took in the group , sizing them up in a way to get your read on them.
“yo! new chicks just came in and they are hot! saw ‘em with sarah getting—“ two swing doors opened , a guy walking backward through them with boxes in his arms. when he turned and saw the three extra people in the room , he quickly shut up. “hi there! uh— there’s actually like , i don’t know , four other sarah’s who work here,” he lied , stumbling over his words as everyone laughed.
“right , okay. well , that’s jj,” sarah groaned , clearly unimpressed despite her giggles, “j , this is y/n , my roommate. and this is taylor , cleo’s roommate.”
the blonde swiftly flipped his hat to be facing backwards after putting the boxes down on a table. “nice to meet you , ladies,” he smirked , reaching his hands out crisscrossed for you to both shake. being polite , you both meet his hands , shaking them with smiles.
“nice to meet you , jj,” taylor smiled , catching the fact that he was perfectly your type ; catching that fact that you were blissfully aware that he was perfectly your type.
“hi,” you managed to speak , cheeks flushing bright and ears getting hot, “well , we gotta go— gotta go get , um , unpacked,” you stuttered , pointing to the door and stepping away, “sarah?”
your new friend was grinning ear to ear watching you drown , but she quickly came to your rescue. “see you guys later,” she chuckled , coming and grabbing your shoulders before pulling you away. she led you out the front door and to one of the several golf carts. “so that was something.” sarah couldn’t help herself but laugh a little when you were alone.
“i’m going to kill myself if i talk like that all summer,” you joined in on making fun of yourself, “is everyone that volunteers here that hot?” you questioned , thinking back to the guy you saw signing people in.
“yeah , that’s a perk for sure. something in the water on the cut made those pogues fine,” sarah agreed , turning the golf cart on whenever you threw your bags down in the back.
“okay , first of all : what’s the cut? and secondly , what’s a pogue?” you asked , turning in the seat as sarah took off in the direction of your cabin. neither one of those words seemed too endearing.
sarah looked back at you and took a deep breath. “well , we’re all from this island : kildare. on said island , there’s the nice neighborhood which we call figure eight. then there’s the not so nice neighborhood which we call the cut,” she explained as you listened intently, “all of them are from the cut , sparing kie. she’s a born kook.”
“so if you’re from the cut , you’re a pogue , and if you’re from figure eight , you’re a kook?” you recalled , still not entirely understanding the classist labels.
“it’s dumb , but yeah,” sarah nodded simply.
you took the answer for what it was and focused ahead of you. you could see the cabins now. they were set in five half circles , three cabins in a group. in front of them was a fairly large fire pit with handfuls of chairs littered around the area.
“which one are we in?” you questioned as sarah slowed to a stop.
“we’re in cabin number six! cleo and taylor are going to be in four , and kie is in five,” sarah answered , grabbing one of your bags to help you inside.
“these are nice,” you gaped , stepping into the cabin. there were six bunk beds , three on either side of the building. a bathroom in the back , and another door next to it.
“our room is back here,” sarah announced , moving through the cabin towards the last door, “ta-da!”
you set your bags down at the end of the bed that was still available and looked around. sarah had set up her side of the room already , fairy lights across the ceiling , posters on the wall , and her bed all done up.
“okay , these are really , really nice , dude,” you echoed yourself , amazed at how much more money is clearly put into this camp than your last.
sarah waved you off, “eh , it’s whatever,” she laughed, “just kidding. it’s actually insane how fancy this camp is. even i can admit it.”
“my last camp was an actual dumpster fire compared to this,” you admitted , starting to unravel your bedding to make the room seem homier, “packed cabins , shitty food , bunch of old people for camp counselors. jessamine is an upgrade.” sarah sat down on her bed and listened to you with a smile. she liked you already , that wasn’t hard. “and you all seem actually nice too. that’s another perk on top of how hot you guys are,” you continued with a laugh.
jj. you hated you were still thinking about him. that’s not how you ever want your summers to be. summer flings were not on your list of things to do in your twenties. you wanted to completely focus on yourself and getting to where you wanted to be in life. no blonde surfer boy was going to change that.
“so… you’re still picturing jj in that pretty , little head of yours,” sarah read your mind , holding back a cheesy grin when you turned to her.
“i don’t date boys from summer camp,” you simply said , going back to making your bed. the two of you stayed in silence until you had finished setting up your bed and unpacking. you fell into the mattress with a sigh.
sarah’s position on her bed matched yours , completely sprawled out and exhausted. “i feel like this is the first time i’ve gotten to just chill in like a week,” she huffed , staring up at the ceiling.
“yeah , me too,” you agreed, “me and taylor were on a road trip just before we came here , so i’ve been cramped in my jeep for way too long.”
“wait— how old are you?” sarah questioned , sitting up on her elbows to look over at you.
“nineteen. almost twenty,” you answered , copying her actions, “you?”
“twenty…” she replied with a smile, “which means i’m no longer the baby of the group , so thank you for that.”
“it’s okay. i’m used to it,” you mused, “youngest daughter of six. taylor is older than me , and most of the friends i’ve ever made have been too. nothing new to me.”
it was true ; you were quite used to being the ‘baby’ of whatever group you were around. you grew up that way. as much as you hated it , you did get away with a lot more. such as doing what you’re currently doing. your dad was pissed when he got the email you sent him one morning. it was the day you officially packed all of your things and left home. he had decided you were to be a doctor— what kind? he didn’t care , but a doctor nonetheless. you , however , wanted to travel and experience everything you possibly could while snapping pictures and showing the rest of the world. not exactly an easy thing to come to a compromise on.
that was two years ago.
“well , i hated it. the guys would make fun of me all of the time,” sarah laughed now , it not being as sore of a spot for her, “but that makes taylor… twenty?”
“—one,” you finished for her, “she’s like my best friend and big sister all in one.”
“don’t you already have five of those?” sarah recalled , furrowing her perfectly groomed eyebrows.
you looked away for a moment , fairy lights catching your eyes again. “technically , but i don’t really think blood is what makes family,” you shrugged , pushing yourself to sit up entirely, “show me around some more?” it was an obvious attempt at changing the subject , but it worked.
“wanna see the ponies?”
AFTER ABOUT two hours of sarah showing you around the camp grounds , you found yourself back in your cabin. it was nearly three , so you still had some to yourself before the counselors’ meeting started up before dinner.
you hadn’t seen taylor since you split up at the dining hall , so you were by yourself since sarah had to help with some administrative duties. with your free time , you made the decision to start setting out the things you brought for the girls you’d be mentoring for the summer.
daisy.
amber.
noah.
celeste.
miranda.
kylie.
the first thing on the list was making the covers for their journals. you had pressed three-d stickers on the front , spelling out all of their names. you set the books down on the dressers , pairing each with a disposable camera and pack of pens.
in the bathroom , you had set up a box of essentials. twelve teenage girls in one cabin? it was needed. you hung up a cuter shower curtain , laid down a better floor mat. you were happy with the way everything looked so far , so you moved back into the living area. you set out the mini projector you brought , coloring books and markers , card and board games , bracelet making kits. you were just making the cabin more lived in with plenty of things to do.
you had your headphones in , listening to your own music while you got everything set up. lost in your own world.
“excuse me!”
you jumped , hand clutching your chest as someone pulled one of your headphones from your ear. “holy shit! wow! sorry,” you breathed out , turning to face the person who disrupted your jam session.
“no , i’m sorry,” he replied with a chuckle, “i’m looking for sarah. last i heard she was here , but i guess not.”
“oh , yeah. she went to admin,” you answered , pulling the other headphone out and draping the wire across your shoulders, “i can tell her you stopped by…”
“rafe,” he finished for you , reaching a hand out, “i’m sarah’s brother. cabin seven.”
you nodded with a smile , reaching your hand out for him to shake. he took your hand in his , engulfing it entirely. “y/n. sarah’s roommate. cabin six,” you replied, “just do you know.”
“won’t forget it,” rafe assured you , taking a look around the room, “i like what you’ve done to the place,” he added as he inspected the hanging plant you had hung up.
“i think it’s good for campers to live in a cozy place while they’re away from home,” you explained it , hands coming behind your back as you rocked back and forth on your feet, “i don’t know— it might be dumb.”
“nah,” he immediately dismissed you. he shook his head and looked at you again with a soft smile, “s’cute. see ya around , freshie.”
your eyes trailed after him as he left the cabin , most likely in search of his sister. “see ya , vet!” you called after him , smile still gracing your lips, “jesus , something is in the water around that island.” somehow , rafe looked even better up close than he did when you first got a glimpse of him earlier.
“so you met rafe?”
another voice pulled you out of your thoughts this time. taylor. “thank god,” you sighed , moving to the bedroom and flopping on your now made bed. taylor laughed to herself , following in suit and cuddling up next to you. your arm draped over her stomach , holding your friend close.
“what’s going on , bug?” she asked , dragging a loose lock of hair out of your face, “talk to mama.”
“i think i miss my sisters?” you hummed , staring off at the wall lazily, “which is ridiculous. most days , i would rather go back to cult skyline , but i don’t know. sarah and i somehow brought that up for a moment , and i haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.”
“okay…” taylor nodded, “do you want my advise or or me to just listen?” god , she knew you so well.
you just sighed deeply , letting all of the air in your lungs leave your body. “i just wanna sit here for a second. take a minute before the kids get her in two days,” you shrugged.
the two of you laid in bed for a while— you weren’t sure how much time had passed until your phone started going off to let you know it was nearing five. you groaned , reaching over a sleeping taylor and grabbing your phone to shut your alarm off.
“tay , time for the meeting,” you spoke , nudging her awake. she groaned , stretching out her body as she came to. “let’s go meet everyone else.”
“yeah , yeah. i’m coming,” she promised , pushing herself up as you did the same.
despite taking the golf cart to the cabin , the walk back over to admin wasn’t all that bad. cleo had met up with you , formally introducing herself to you. it wasn’t long before you were sat around another fire pit the camp had with the rest of the camp leaders.
“all right , everyone! how we doin’?” the woman still standing clapped her hands together , and you recognized her as marsha , the person you were communicating with before you got to jessamine. everyone applauded , hooting and hollering in excitement. “okay , okay. so to start summer off , i just wanna go over a few rules. i know— i know , boring rules. boo. however , once i get them out of the way , all of the fun begins so…”
“she’s just like meagan,” taylor leaned over and whispered to you , referring back to one of the administrators from camp skyline.
you chuckled under your breath before facing back to marsha as she continued. “… no letting kids have sex , no letting kids do drugs or drink alcohol , no letting kids sneak out around camp by themselves in the middle of the night , and finally : absolutely no fraternization between counselors!” she made it a point to shout the last rule louder than the others, “cameron , maybank , i’m looking right at ya both , okay?”
the boys smirked to themselves , a few other guys patting their backs. you were sat somewhere in between them , getting a chance to look at both. jj was laughing with john b , smacking each other back in forth in argument as to who was the bigger camp slut. they agreed on the blonde.
and rafe , he was with his friends you hadn’t met yet. they were dapping him up , congratulating him on his many conquests over the years.
“now that we’ve all agreed on not fornicating on property , let the games begin!” marsha smiled, “you all know how this works. for you newcomers , you’ll pick up just fine. get with your cabin mate and check your emails. scavenger hunt begins… now!”
everyone shot out of their chairs , finding their partners if they weren’t already sat with them to start the game. when you got to sarah , who was only a few chairs away , she already had her phone pulled out with the email pulled up.
“okay , so this is what we do every year on the first night of camp,” she started , handing you her phone to look at the list, “winner gets to have their cabin get their meals before everyone else does for the first two weeks. it actually gets pretty intense.”
you laughed , handing the phone back to its rightful owner and smiling. “let’s win then.”
“alright! i like you a lot , miss y/n/n,” sarah replied , bumping your shoulder with hers. she started walking , so you kept up with her. taking advantage of the golf carts , sarah plucked the keys out of the cup holder and started one up. “we gotta start at the end. marsha thinks we don’t know , but she puts the list in order of location. the further down the list , the further it is from home base.”
“sounds like we’re going to come out on top then,” you commented, “drive faster.”
“back to the ponies we go,” sarah nodded , pushing her foot down on the gas pedal.
you sped off , passing several counselors that were on foot , including rafe. he was with the boy from check in that taylor was checking out and another blonde.
“sare , you know that shit’s practically cheating,” rafe yelled at his sister , causing her to slow down to a complete stop.
“really?” sarah feigned innocence. her big , brown eyes practically sparkled as she looked at rafe.
you leaned forward to look past sarah and at the guys standing next to your cart. “i don’t think marsha ever said that it’s not allowed,” you chimed in , pretending to think back in time, “so we’re gonna go win real quick , and we’ll see ya when we’re passing you in line for dinner.”
it was almost despicable how sweet your smile was compared to your competitive words. rafe eyed you up and down , not bothering to hide his gaze. “sounds like sarah’s already rubbing off on you , sweetheart. better get away from her before it gets worse,” he joked, “have you met kelce and topper yet , honey?” his hand pointed back to his friends , who were impatiently waiting for rafe to shut the hell up.
“no , she hasn’t,” sarah answered for you, “and also screw you. have fun losing again this year!”
with that , sarah hit the gas and drove you away from her brother. her hand flew up , waving bye as she laughed along with you. “god , please don’t take anything that boy says to heart,” she advised , looking over at you with a serious expression all over her face.
“what do you mean?”
“well…” she started, “y’know how marsh called him and jj out for being camp’s biggest whores? she’s not kidding. i love jj , and i love rafe , but those boys can’t keep it in their pants to save their lives. and they’ll say pretty much whatever to get into someone else’s. that includes sweet talkin’ you like rafe was trying to do with his ‘honey’ and ‘sweetheart’ and shit,” she continued explaining, “just be cautious.”
you nodded slowly , taking her words as gospel. every summer camp ever has one or two counselors that fuck like rabbits , but it was your luck that you found them both attractive here. good thing you had your one rule. no dating boys from camp.
it was simple and definitive.
it was clear you and sarah were going to finish before the rest of the counselors by the time you got to the last scavenge point on your list. it was at the fire pit by the cabins in plain view. sarah took a quick picture of you standing next to the fire and holding up the medallion that was placed on the bricks. finally , you were able to hop on the golf cart and head to home base.
“so there’s this party the counselors do every first night of camp , and i think you should come,” sarah spoke up as you steered your way passed the others.
“there’s not a party on the itinerary,” you replied , already having the next few days memorized.
she laughed at you gently , patting your thigh. “babe , it’s not exactly something marsha knows about,” she explained, “it’s , like , a right of passage for the leaders to get drunk off their asses before the kids come. i mean , we usually have kick backs on the weekends , but this welcoming party is much different.”
“different how?” you asked , furrowing your eyebrows, “party’s a party.”
“well , it’s bigger. every single leader comes to it. hangouts on the weekends are usually split up amongst us and our little groups , so this one is the party.”
“yeah , sure. i mean , it would be dumb to miss out on it,” you chuckled with a shrug , pulling up to the administrative office you had been in hours and hours ago.
the blonde let out an excited squeal , yanking you into a hug before hopping off the cart and running into the building. you stayed still , waiting for her to come back out. “first in line , baby!” she shouted , raising her fists into the air as soon as she stepped out the door.
you cheered and laughed with her , turning the golf cart off and getting out. “i love you , sarah cameron,” you confessed , pulling her into a hug.
it was only one day , and you were convinced she might be your person. she had divulged you into all of her stories and drama and didn’t feel the need to hide anything from you so far. she gave you space when you wanted it earlier. she was good. “i love you too,” she replied with a smile, “lets go gloat!”
AFTER SARAH rubbed the win in her brother’s face , while you stayed back and watched it , you met up with the pogues. thankfully , taylor was still with cleo. you immediately pulled her to the side.
“okay , you’re pulling me,” she grumbled , stepping along with you.
“there’s a party tonight,” you stated.
“yeah , there’s one every year. they were just telling me about it,” taylor shrugged, “we going?”
“well , yeah , but on top of that rafe was flirting with me,” you blurted out , cheeks rosy from the thought of the interaction before and after the game.
taylor nodded slowly , glancing back at your new friends before looking in your eyes. “what about jj ‘perfect for you’ maybank?” she asked , nodding to the blonde boy , who was trying to wrestle with cleo.
“no , no. that’s the point. i don’t want anything to do with either of them,” you groaned , dropping your head back for a moment, “so i need you to cockblock if anything happens.”
“all summer? why don’t you just put on a frickin’ chasity belt?” taylor whined.
you rolled your eyes. “just for tonight. hopefully , rafe will catch on , and leave me alone. as for jj , i’ll just be his friend.”
“just lead him on?” taylor corrected you, “he was already bothering me about you. asking me all sorts of questions.” there was a smile in her words , trying to push you to go for it like she always did when it came to the cute boys at camp.
“not happening,” you simply stated , shaking your head, “just cockblock this once , and i’ll , like , suck your dick or something. i don’t know , just help me. because my roommate’s brother giving me slutty eyes and smiles the three times i’ve met him is not on my agenda , taylor. especially after sarah told me he’s kind of a douchebag.”
“okay , okay. you’re so uptight,” taylor agreed, “and now that you mention it , cleo and kiara were saying the same sort of things ‘bout him , so fine. i’ll cockblock.”
just as you two finished up , jj called out to you. “ladies , c’mon! dinner time!” he waved you both over. taylor sent you a look before jogging to catch up with the rest of the group. you headed that way , noticing jj stayed behind in wait. “i see congratulations are in order,” he smiled at you , walking in step with you.
“it was all sarah , really,” you smiled coyly.
he was cute. taylor was right about that. his unruly blonde hair shoved under a beat up , red cap. combat boots pires with a cut off tee. you hated that you were so obviously eyeing him. even more when he said something again.
“you can take a picture you know.” there was a smile evident on your face , eyes gentle as he looked at you like you looked at him.
you just blushed , walking a little faster. “dinner smells good!” you commented , opening the door and rushing in to find sarah or taylor.
you all went through the line , shoving yourself in between the girls so jj couldn’t talk to you. sarah and kiara led you to a table , and you were able to eat. you didn’t even realize how hungry you were until you were sat down.
“cleo , i think i’m in love with you,” you groaned , taking another bit of the sandwich.
“girl , this is nothing,” kie cut in, “you should’ve been here last year. she went all out!”
“i was trying to make a good first impression,” cleo shrugged with a smile , like her cooking skills were mediocre and not something you’d dreamt of before.
“so…” john b started, “taylor told me you guys used to go to some camp in tennessee?” his question was directed at you.
you nodded , covering your mouth as you swallowed the oversize bite you just took. “mmhm,” you hummed, “skyline ridge.” you answered.
“how come you came here?” pope asked this time.
“turns out it was a baby cult,” you admitted , feeling your ears turn hot at the statement. it was kind of embarrassing how you didn’t realize until after. but who’s to blame you? you were a kid. “like , it wasn’t obvious until you left , you know?”
“kinda like the kooks!” jj pointed out with his fork.
taylor shook her head, “no , it was a little more established than your classist island drama , jj.”
“yeah , it was bad , but who cares? we’re here now,” you smiled simply.
soon enough , you all finished your meals and split up yet again to get ready for the not-so-secret secret party. sarah and you were alone again , trading clothes and trying to find a good outfit for each other.
“hey , so i know we just met and all,” sarah began , shyly twist a skirt in her hands, “but i could tell there was something bothering you when we were getting dinner. everything okay?”
god , she was so sweet.
you paused , adjusting the shirt you had switched into before looking at her. “taylor’s convinced i should get a boyfriend this summer. specifically jj , and i’m just , i don’t know , that’s just not for me.”
she nodded , perching on the edge of her bed. “why not?” it was an innocent question.
“i don’t stay in one place too long ever. i think summer camp is the only place i’ll stick around for longer than a few weeks,” you answered , sitting on your bed to face her. clothes were scattered around the both of you , but your eyes locked and it was all left behind. “ever since i ran away , i haven’t stopped to look back. there’s no reason. i travel the world and do my own thing. boys just drag ya down,” you think you explained it well enough.
“i think the right boy could lift you up , if you let him,” sarah philosophied with a sneaky smile, “on that note , i’m gonna go meet up with john b. i’ll see you at the party , y/n/n.”
you waved goodbye , watching her walk out the back door and skipping over to cabin eight. you took a deep breath , mulling over all of the options your friends had been giving you all day.
by yourself , you finished getting ready. to be completely honest , you didn’t know if you wanted to go as much anymore. it was dark , and you didn’t know your way through these woods enough to go alone. you could easily just cozy up in bed and read a book.
a knock at the door pulled you out of your thoughts. you rushed over , opening the wooden slab as you poked your earring through its hole. when the door opened , it revealed none other than rafe. “hey,” he greeted you , waiting for you to invite him in before he moved. he watched as you put another earring in.
“hi,” you replied , moving to the side to let him come in away from the bugs, “looking for sarah?”
he let out a chuckle , nodding his head. “yeah… she said she’d go on a beer run with me,” he explained , shoving his hands into his pockets after closing the door.
“she left for the lake , like , twenty minutes ago,” you grimaced , continuing to get ready while rafe stood in the cabin area. you shrugged on a crocheted cardigan and stood in front of him. “how do i look for my first party?”
his deep blue eyes scanned over your figure , taking their time to drink you in. your legs were exposed as you wore a pair of shorts you obviously cut yourself. the bralette-esque top sarah let you borrow covered hardly anything. the cardigan was your saving grace for any modicum of modesty. his fingers found his lips , rubbing them almost in an attempt to physically stop any nasty comments from flying out.
“you look real good , freshie,” rafe complimented you, “uh— i’ll let you get to the party. see ya,” he stammered out , reaching for the door handle.
“oh , well i can go with ya. since sarah ditched you,” you offered up , promptly getting him to stop opening the door. you don’t know what changed in the last minute for you to go from wanting to stay in for the night to wanting to join the camp whore on a beer run , but it was already offered.
“if you wanna. i mean , it’s just a beer run , so it shouldn’t take long,” rafe nodded, “i’ll have you back to your little pogues in no time.”
“you guys and your kooks and pogues,” you rolled your eyes , running back into your room to grab your phone and camera, “you do realize you’re all nobodies outside of that little island , right?” you questioned him , brushing past his body to slip out the door.
“you wouldn’t understand,” rafe sighed , following you outside before taking the lead to his truck.
“try me,” you pressed. you were walking passed everyone— going against the grain. you both waved to a few of the people who said hello first , and then your eyes lock on jj’s.
he was walking with pope and kiara , but his eyes were trained on your movements and who you were with. and you don’t know why , but your heart actually stung a little bit when you saw him tear his eyes away from you , going back to talking to his friends like nothing happened.
nothing did happen.
it’s a beer run with a fellow camp leader. big deal.
“so?” you nudged rafe with your elbow, “what’s this big thing between kooks and pogues my tiny mind just don’t understand!” you were being theatrical , and rafe chuckled a little bit before shoving you a little in the direction of his truck that came into view.
“it’s always been that way. the island was always the rich and the poor,” he began to explain, “but i think right now is the most polarized it’s ever been. i mean , we’re getting into fights all of the time. jj got arrested for sinking topper’s boat a couple of years ago! it’s all eye for an eye back home.”
rafe stopped to open the passenger door for you before moving around and climbing behind the wheel. you buckled up and looked at him. “you know that saying though?”
“hmm?” he hummed.
“if it’s always eye for an eye , eventually everyone is blind?” you mused , waiting for him to pick up on it.
“okay,” he rolled his eyes now, “you don’t get it.”
“no! hey , don’t pout,” you pointed at him when he focused more on the roads than the conversation , which usually you’d be grateful for a responsible driver , but you can only assume he usually isn’t. “it’s not me making fun of you as much as it is telling you there is a big , big world out there that doesn’t give a damn if your from the cut or the loop or whatever the fuck you call it.”
“figure eight,” he corrected you , fixing his pouty lips into a smile as he glanced at you again.
“whatever— do you have a fake? if not , i do , so we can get the beers,” you changed the subject.
and he laughed at you. “baby , i don’t need a fake id.”
“oh , well , okay. how old are you?” you stuttered at the nickname. what was with this man and terms of endearment?
“twenty-three.” he leaned over and gave you the biggest , toothiest smile.
“old man,” you scoffed , pushing his head away from you, “you should be old enough to realize that—“
“that the stupid generational rivalry is pointless. yeah , yeah,” he finished for you, “just let me buy you some drinks for the party and be happy about it,” he joked.
“oh , i don’t drink,” you shook your head.
that’s what got him to look at you fully. “shit— sorry , i didn’t mean to offend you. it’s just , i don’t know , you offered to come with me , so i guess i just assumed,” he rambled off as you started giggling.
his brows furrowed in confusion , not understanding what was funny or why you were laughing at him. “i’m kidding , ray,” you laughed , patting his head gently, “of course i drink. why else would i have a fake , doofus?”
with the relief that you weren’t actually making fun of him , rafe was able to laugh along with you. he did take notice of the nickname you gave him , though. “ray,” he whispered.
“like sunshine , ya know? it’s an oxymoron,” you explained, “and it could easily be an actual nickname for you , so it’s perfect.”
“ray like sunshine,” rafe echoed with a nod, “how exactly is that an oxymoron?”
you looked at him with a sly smile. “you’re not exactly cheery.”
“uh uh!” he argued back, “i can be cheery as fuck!”
you let out a belly laugh , tilting your head back , and rafe thinks he’s met his maker when you do. “i would looooove to see you be anything but flirty with me or grouchy with sarah. truly , i’d enjoy it,” you remarked , shifting your seat a little.
“there’s a lot you haven’t seen from me yet,” rafe remarked , proving your point of only ever being cheeky or grumpy.
“exhibit a,” you pointed, “i’m gonna start keeping count.” the two of you chuckled as he pulled into the parking lot ( of what you assume is ) the closest liquor store to camp.
“c’mon , honey. you’re mrs. rafe cameron if anyone asks,” he included you in his little scheme as if it was a necessity to this beer run. he hopped out of the truck , opening your door once again for you to slide out and land on the ground. “after you,” he smiled , opening the business’ door.
“okay , my ray of sunshine husband,” you playfully scrunch your nose , walking into the store. he was already trying to be ‘sunshiney’ after your comment.
you paused when you stepped in , waiting for rafe to drag you through the store as you’d never been. “follow me,” he simply said , grabbing your hand like he’d done it all his life , like you weren’t two total strangers. it was that moment that made you realize you were starting to break your own rules. well , maybe you didn’t realize it realize it , but in the back of your head? you did.
he lead the way to the back cooler , stepping inside and grabbing a case of beer and one of the seltzers. “you want anything specific?” he looked over to you , seeing you standing in the door way , holding yourself tight at the temperature change. “c’mere,” he gestured to himself and opened his arm.
despite yourself , you moved quickly to him and snuggled into his side. his hand ran up and down your arm , trying to warm you up. “grab whatever you want , and we’ll get outta here.”
your hand reached for a case of ciders , but you paused to look up at him for approval. he nodded and grabbed it before you could and ushered you out of the cooler.
“id please,” the cashier spoke monotonously , looking at you and rafe like you were idiots.
“marco , i literally come here every year. we have this conversation every year,” rafe groaned , digging in his pocket for his wallet.
“and up until two years ago , you were just another jessamine shit head underage drinking,” marco joked , nodding to you, “id , hon.”
“oh—“ you started , but rafe cut you off.
“hey , she’s good,” he nodded , sending marco a message you couldn’t quite read yet, “mrs. cameron isn’t old enough yet. she’s just along for the ride. right , baby?” he continued with his lie , wrapping his arm around you again and squeezing you tight.
marco rolled his eyes , knowing rafe was going to slip him a crisp if he just processed the purchase. “have a good night , y’all,” he grumbled. you muttered a small reply , waving meekly as rafe set a hundred dollar bill on the counter. he tapped it once before grabbing the cases of drinks.
you held the door open for him this time , seeing as his arms were full. “m’lady,” you jested , even bowing before him as he walked through the exit with a scoff.
“shut up,” he chuckled , shaking his head. he set the drinks in the back seat and opened your door. “git on up,” he tapped your back before closing the door— only after making sure nothing of yours was in the way.
rafe wasn’t too sure why he was being all gentlemanly with you. maybe it was because he wanted to prove you wrong when you said he was just a flirt or a grouch. maybe it’s the way you were someone that didn’t know him yet , and he could be someone else for once.
hell , wasn’t that what summer was for?
the drive back was calm. you and rafe just chatted , asking each other questions and really listening to the other one’s answers.
you couldn’t help but think to yourself that maybe everyone else had got it wrong. rafe had depth. you listened to the way he talked about his work , his aspirations , his ideologies. he wasn’t just some camp whore you were so easily labeling him earlier.
“you know what , hubby?” you hummed , hand out the window , surfing the air. your head was rested against the seat , but you turn to look at him with a smile on your face.
“what ever is on your mind , dear?” he replied , goofy smile matching yours as did his tone. the ongoing joke between you two made you giggle before continuing.
“i think you might be one of the most complex people i have ever met,” you confessed genuinely , sweetly almost. and like it wasn’t the best , most heartfelt compliment anyone had ever given rafe , you turned forward again , closing your eyes to just feel the wind passing you by.
rafe held back a grin to himself , mimicking you and just focusing on the road to give you a quiet rest of the ride back. the peaceful kind of quiet rafe didn’t even believe existed.
a/n here it is! please let me know if you hate it or love it or have ideas!!! also: tea me posting this earlier than i expected:)
taglist @sabrina-carpenter-stan-account @viennafantasies @cnnamongrl @embersfae @enchantingexile @urbrunettebombshell @wearemadeofstardust0 @psychicnatural @ecstqzy @ssqra @st4rkeyl0ver
#ִֶָ 𓂃⊹ ִֶָ where’d all the time go?#rafe cameron#rafe outer banks#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron imagine#outerbanks rafe#rafe cameron smut#rafe x you#jj maybank#jj maybank smut#jj maybank imagine#outer banks au#obx au#summer camp au#jj maybank x you#jj maybank x reader#outerbanks jj#jj outer banks#outer banks jj#jj x reader#outer banks rafe#rafe cameron outer banks#rafe fanfic#rafe fanfiction#rafe smut#rafe x reader#rafe imagine#rafe fic#rafe obx
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不要回头
this discussion is due to the announcement that the MV dropping on 11/26 is called don’t look back. let’s start with why this is relevant to xiao zhan. one that immediately comes to mind was his instagram post before where he used the caption: “don’t look back, forever”. a bit of context, this was the time in 2019 when he was having problems with WJJW’s management of his career. a week after this post, he took WJJW to court. so it may be safe to say that the message was moving forward and leaving WJJW behind.
this has been a recurrent theme with XZ, as he so eloquently explained in one of his interviews: “I feel that everyone should not live in the past. But you need to summarize your past, the areas you did not do well, take responsibility and move forward.” not looking back— meaning to live with no regrets. to run towards your future, which is why it makes sense that he likes to do the chongya pose. that’s just who xz is. 🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️ he doesn’t sit and wallow in misery about what happened before. he doesn’t hold grudges. no matter how his fans misinterpret his messaging, it has always been very clear to me. move on. make peace.
we can actually see this mindset between xz and wyb and why ( i think ) they get along so well. considering the life they have, it’s not healthy to live in the past and miss the moment now.
for their bdays this year, both their studios talked about regrets and moving forward.
XZS: The road ahead is always like this. I hope you can have fun without regrets.
YBO: …. along the way, accept imperfection, allow regrets, the mountains are high and the seas are vast, and please move forward boldly.
here are some other similarities with this theme:
XZ: i will believe in my choice and don’t regret it. just go all out and do it.
WYB: I just want to do things according to my beliefs and never regret it.
XZ interview
Q: Suppose if there is a chance to go back to the past. Which stage do you most want to return to?
XZ: i’m not going back
WYB interview
he was asked pretty much a similar question, if he can choose to travel back to an age in his life. what would he choose?
WYB: I don’t want to go back
also this classic one from WYB. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
this one is a personal favorite of mine when he was doing interview for where dreams begin:
XZ: Although life is likely to be unsatisfactory, I think as long as you persist in your heart and work hard to move forward, It will definitely be fine. This is something I insist on, don’t look back, believe in the future and the light is always ahead.
and there are alot more. i think that those of us who have been in tune with them already knows all of this. it’s the way they both are. i feel like this is also why they are successful in their careers. 🫶🏼
lastly is the significance of them singing white windmill during filming. at this time, xz told wyb— wyb, don’t look back.
Tho i’m pretty sure the song/mv title Don’t Look Back is about XZ’s personal journey — the similarity with WYB is just added in here cause we are clowns. 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡
-END.
#yizhan#bjyx#there is no science here i’m just clowning like i always do#i love that this discussion became an opportunity for me to promote the best BJYX song ever —- WHITE WINDMILL
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Linked Universe Headcanons: What I think each of their roles would be in a boy band
I'm surprised how popular my prev one was! I was chatting to a non fan friend and she was curious what they would be like in a band, and asked me who the rapper would be...I reckon WILD hahah
Anyways...
Time: Not an active member but used to be a solo artist back in the day, he doesn't like being in the limelight as much and mentors/manages the rest of them. Still has that suave quality, a total heart throb and occasionally hosts a one off concert only available to the VIPS. He was the IT boy back in the day.
Warriors: Leader of the band and all rounder. He's a complete heartbreaker, can sing, and dance every style and fans go crazy over him. Very charismatic and flirty, knows how to make a fan feel special at a meet and greet and always takes a photo with them.
Twilight: I think lead guitarist, can sing beautifully and has one of the most charming voices, also very yeehaw and country when he goes on solo tour dates or drops his album. He's dripping with quiet confidence and doesn't share too much about his private life to fans, likes to keep a boundary between his private and professional life but will always be kind of them and never deny a photo or autograph
Sky: Has a beautiful voice, more shy and s o f t, he's one of the more quieter members and doesn't like being on camera as much but doesn't hate it either. Has that sweet prince charming vibe that everyone loves, would probably be a part time model on top of his band duties. Can play the guitar and bass
Wild: Absolute hardcore. He's def the main rapper and won't pass up the chance to drop any bars. He'll def go on rap battle tv shows and break EVERYONE. Mans got flow and swag, especially after getting a full arm of tattoos. What's the backstory behind them? He'll change it everytime he's on an interview. Absolute coolest dude on earth, fans LOVE him and how chill he is but you don't want to get on this guy's bad side or you'll be on his diss track list. Even the others are slightly scared of him. Always on social media posting selfies and updates, or threatening other artists that come for him or his band. Likes to film the other members to until Time tells him to cut it out and touch grass
Legend: I can see him having a lot of range in his voice, very powerful and can sing ballads. One of the lead singers and occasionally helps with writing songs. He CAN dance if he puts his heart and soul into it. He loves writing poetry and secretly writes love songs for himself based on a special girl, but he'll tear them up before anyone sees them. Would Probably records an incredible, heartfelt song he wrote and composed himself on his instagram then delete it after 5 hours beccause he'll be like, why the hell did I just do that? Fans would cry, wishing he would post more gems like that. Hates to be in the front but also fairly confident in his skills. Fans adore him because you can just see he's actually a big softie on the inside despite that tough exterior he puts up. Secretly jealous of Wild's rap ability, can't rap to save his life but maybe, one day.
Hyrule:
One of the lead singers, has the most melodic voice and can absolutely stun a crowd with his angelic vocals. Like Legend, also is one of the members with the most range. You know when you see someone in person and their just glowing? Yea, that's him. Sweetest celeb ever, everyone that's worked with him only has good things to say about this guy. Definitely has the most potential to go solo as well with his incredible piano skills. Can also play almost every other instrument, an absolute talent in everything. He also sponsors charities every now and then and interacts with fans on social media. Can do contemporary dance
Wind/Four: Tbh I think they would be good in broad way, both are great singers and still very much fanboys to the others. Their working their way, still in training. Can definitely see Wind going big on broadway and theatre and specialising in tap dance
Can you guess who is my bias? Or who's your bias? hehe
#legend of zelda#linked universe#lu legend#twilight lu#lu warriors#lu wild#fanfic#zelda au#headcanon#headcannons#my headcanons#lu sky#lu time#lu four#lu hyrule#link boyband#this is what i reckon they would be like in a boy band
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Presenting Kaye for @changingplumbob's Dating Deanna
Hello there! Umm . . . My name's Kaye and I'm applying to be a contestant on Dating Deanna
I've just recently aged up to a young adult (21 in Watcher years) and moved out of my Mother's house and into an apartment in San Myshuno! Nothing I ever did made her happy but I think most of that stems from the fact that we're on one of the spare branches of this save's legacy family - did I forget to mention my last name is Glynnan? I was also born a human which is a MAJOR area of contention for my mother Deliliah who thinks it's a disgrace but my big brother Domenic loves me just the same and doesn't care that I'm not exactly the girly girl princess mother always wanted. I wanted to play football instead of joining the cheer leading team in high school and I'm a bit of a glutton - though I consider myself more a foodie who just enjoys ALL food!
I'm an Adventurous sim and I love the slopes of Mt. Komorebi just don't put me on a set of skis, snowboarding is the only way to go down the mountain! I do have to admit that though I don't dislike rock climbing I'd much prefer using the safer machines found at gyms to actually climbing the mountain after hearing about my Uncle Daolong's incident.
I'm working on becoming a professional athlete one day and here's to hoping one of the EA Gods will patch in professional snowboarding. If that happens I'd be the happiest woman ever! But currently just making Candles and selling them on Plopsy to make a bit of extra cash while I slowly move up the athletic career corporate ladder.
I love listening to music at the end of a long day but PLEASE no winter holiday music! I heard far to much of that All I Want for Winterfest Song while I was working retail as a teenager I NEVER EVER want to hear it again if I can help it!
Now for the specifics I guess . . .
I'm a cisgender female still exploring their sexuality. I'm attracted to both men and woman so being classified as Bisexual might be easiest though I'm leaning more towards Pansexual since I don't really care if someone is nonbinary, trans, genderfluid etc and I've met a few Sims who claim they're bisexual but won't date Trans sims, to each their own but why? If someone makes me happy and I them it seems perfect to me!
My traits are Adventurous, Music Lover, and Glutton. I think there used to be more like Socially Awkward and Vegetarian but my Watcher wasn't sure if @changingplumbob had the more traits mod so removed the last two
My current aspiration is to be a Master Maker
My likes and dislikes are below ↓ There's quite a few but My Watcher actually cut it down from what was there when I was a Teenager
Am I OK with getting flirty with the other contestants? I'm here for Deanna but if any of the other contestants flirt with me I don't see a problem with it since we're not in committed relationships or anything.
Am I open to Polyamory? Maybe? It seems to be working fairly well for my cousin where monogamy hasn't been working for my mother - three kids from three separate failed marriages yikes! Maybe you shouldn't talk trash about El when you don't have even half as healthy of a love life. Sorry mom I know it's not proper to air your dirty laundry on national tumblrvision but oh well! Domenic raised me to think honesty is the best policy so . . .
Open to woohoo? I mean it's part of romance now a days so I'd be alright with it. I just won't let my brother tune in those days. Sorry Dom!
Am I open to flirting with Joey? I think I could be! Again I signed up for Dating Deanna and don't want to hurt her feelings but the heart wants what the heart wants I guess
My watcher is ALL IN!!!
#ts4#simblr#the sims community#Dating Deanna#ts4 screenshots#ts4 gameplay#sims 4 screenshots#sims 4 gameplay#Kaye Glynnan
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ok your arcane blogging has almost convinced me to watch the show because it seems WILD and also, visually STUNNING like wowww
but I have absolutely no idea what the show is even about, could you give me a summary? (also what streaming service is it on?)
Yessss excellent! The show is indeed fucking nuts and also visually stunning. Just. Goddamn. Every single episode had moments of us going "that looks so pretty" and/or "holy shit that looks so fuckin sick"
It also does some of the best visual storytelling outside of the Spiderverse movies. They do so much playing around with 2D looking effects and light bursts, with music that slaps and is also used to create in-story sort of music videos to help drop character backgrounds and establishing where people are in episodes, which helps them handle the many characters really well!
Also the animation of micro-expressions in this show makes me lose my mind. I'm sure you've seen the gifs all over my blog and how much facial animation there is in them lmaoo
Good news is it's finished after 2 seasons, which I like as someone who prefers shows that don't just kind of go on for forever. It could have been 3-4 seasons but they did great nailing a rare mix of a plot AND character focused story that had a ton of moving pieces.
You also don't need to know shit about LoL and from what I can tell, it was more used as a base for the world setting and the first building blocks for the characters. They take advantage of the pre-made world really well and do this immersive style of world building where you may not know what all is going on in this world, but you can really tell that it's there and developed you know? But character lore wise we all tried to predict season 2 based on the original lore and then got cold clocked by how the basic character beats actually played out so. Yeah. The most video game aspect of this is the character designs and the FULL embrace of "what if this lady had a big glowing cyber arm she punched things with and what if it was the coolest shit you've seen."
As for what it's about...theme wise big points are
- love as both a destructive and restoring force, especially love between family and friends
-forgiveness and how one draws the line on what going too far means
-self perpetuating systems of classism that can pull even well meaning actors into being oppressors, and even how different forms of rebellion can begin recreating the oppression they're rising against (there are arguments on how this got handled in season 2 but I don't think there's any really solid storyline way to handle such heavy themes)
- the unexpected consequences of chasing progress as an ideal
-big buff hot women who punch!!!!!!! Women who are yoked!!!
-making you kind of hate how much you like that imagine dragons song
-beat drops that make you yell "LETS FUCKIN GOOOOO"
Plot wise it's about:
Set in a trippy art deco/art nouveau punk aesthetic city that has technology and where magic exists, but has been considered dangerous and only used by mages born able to harness it. Scientists learn how to access magic via mechanical and chemical technology. This causes a lot of problems. It mostly follows two sisters caught within the volatile time, along with a central cast from multiple parts of the city.
It's streaming on Netflix!
#watch arcane#be prepared for needing a tissue box and for being upset for all these people#and also everyone is hot but visually distinct its so good
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I think something I really like and even find endearing about Deanoru is that before Karolina, and that's something even Nico herself agrees with, Nico has never been in love before.
Nico has clearly had crushes before and she's far from unexperienced in dating and all. Like fir example, she liked Alex before his betrayal (and after Murderworld, back when she was a mess, she ended up hooking up with him again). She dated Victor for a while. She's at least kissed Chase a few times-- But that's the thing, though. She first hooked up with Victor also in a moment where she was lonely and looking for comfort (Gert had recently died). He was cute, attractive and a good guy—unlike Alex—, so she didn't mind dating someone like him. But then things end by the end of v2 because he fell in love with Lillie-- and Nico just let him be with her. In fact even pushed for it, which??? She tells Chase that she'd never had with Victor—or anyone—what those two had and lets it go. Nico even later basically admits that their relationship was mostly physical and they didn't spend much time actually talking. With Chase? Well, they both found the other attractive and they had chemistry, but neither of them have ever had feelings for the other: Chase has only ever had that with Gert, too. The times they kissed was because one or the other felt terrible and they were seeking for a way to feel better.
And yeah, Nico literally says it here. She'sd never had something like that. She'd never been with someone she's in love with. Which is why it really is endearing and cute at least for me, seeing how she acted around Karolina, who she later says to, and I quote, 'I love you so much I don't feel big enough to hold it'. The way she acted around her was just cute. Blushing and getting flustered just by Karolina smiling at her. Looking at her like in one of those panels above. Confessing to her and then later on having happy shocked face when Karolina calls her her girlfriend for the first time. Her singing love songs when Karolina leaves to college for the morning and while getting ready to work after spending the night together. Making costumes for the two of them so she can be with Karolina while she was acting as vigilante, all their cute interactions in general. She is happy just to be with her and she finally had that thing she was talking about earlier, being with someone she truly loves, and it was just adorable to see it tbh.
#runaways comics#deanoru#runaways#nico minoru#karolina dean#alex wilder#victor mancha#chase stein#honestly after all the traumatic shit she's gone through and how shitty her love life has been#she deserved something nice like getting the lesbian alien that looks like a model as her girlfriend
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As the anonymous author of the famed (75 notes) What I Think Would Fix the Fates Royals asks, I now present to you:
Fates Royals Ranked by How Much Gender They Have (and also this time I include Azura)*:
Elise: You would think she's just a girl but she hides at least 15 genders under her bed alongside her contraband sweets. Nobody knows where she's getting all these..it's alarming
Xander: Xander has one solid gender. No one is quite sure what it is but he's definitely got a total of one. As you can see from his being so high on the list with only one gender, this family isn't very high on them.
Hinoka: She has like 89.5% of a gender and that gender is lesbian.
Ryoma: His gender is part Hoshidan, part his beautiful, illustrious hair when it's not in that weird headpiece. That is to say, one part is very deeply instilled in his personality, the rest is left to the imagination, you never see it but you know it exists. His gender would be sort of enigmatic if it wasn't SO in your face…known but unknowable, y'known?
Camilla: Has about 75% of a gender that can very loosely be described as being a woman. It's close enough that she doesn't bother explaining it beyond that but like there's 25% something else that she doesn't really touch.
Sakura: Whatever gender she has she does not think she's doing it very well. She's actually doing the best out of anyone because she's sweetiepie :)
Takumi: Takumi has got like half a gender. He had to move the rest of it out to make room for his crushing inferiority complex. Actually no, I think his gender IS having an inferiority complex.
Leo: Taking note of Takumi having only half of gender, decided he must become even less gender. This failed, he has the same thing going on now just in the opposite direction. Put them together and you now have every form of gender angst imaginable.
Corrin: No matter which Corrin you select at the start of Fates they both have just the vaguest hint of gender, dedicated to whatever meshes best with their siblings at the moment. Their gender is loving their family and having fun and also the inexplicable horror of existing in a nonhuman body and the alienation they feel because of it. Also autism.
Azura: They have so little gender that I consistently forget that they're supposed to be canonically a woman. You're telling me that if you could just sit by bodies of water and sing a little song and do cool shit all day you'd care about gender?? Yeah right.
*Ranking is NOT on gender they are, as they are all gender in some way. It’s about how much gender is in their gender. Also none of this is that serious because I could literally reverse the list and still make a case because they're my sillies :)
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My Chemical Romance - Gerard Way interview [INROCK (May 2006)]
“I'm using the word "love" for the first time. I can definitely say this is based on real experience.”
Gerard Way / My Chemical Romance INTERVIEW: AI ANAZAWA
My Chemical Romance have been laying low of late in order to work on a new album following "Sweet Revenge". If all had gone according to plan, recording would have started at some place in Los Angeles by now, but this time it is Rob Cavallo, who produced their heroes Green Day, who is in charge of production. According to Rob, the new album has "some dark stuff, some references to Queen and The Doors. There are also some experimental parts that are reminiscent of System of a Down." The working title of the new album is "The Rise and Fall of My Chemical Romance." It is significant that the album is about 'the rise and fall of My Chemical Romance', even though they have only released two albums so far. As we wait for the album to be released before the end of the year, we attempted an email interview with Gerard, who says he loves Japan.
How have you been? How are you doing these days? Gerard Way (vo.): Good question. I actually just got back from Japan the other day, can you believe it? The day we finished touring in Australia, I went to Japan for a holiday. I was so happy this time because I got to see the beautiful land of Japan without working. What else have I been doing recently? In six days I'll be heading to Los Angeles to prepare for the recording of the new album.
I heard you were visiting Japan. Where did you go and what did you do? Gerard: Hahaha, you already answered your own question. I went to a lot of places. Tokyo, Osaka, Kyoto, Miyajima, Hiroshima and many other places. I also stayed at a ryokan across the sea by boat. I went hiking and visited a lot of temples. I had dinner with a geisha… I had so many wonderful experiences.
Were you alone? Or do you have friends in Japan you can rely on? Gerard: I went with my girlfriend. And her younger sister and her boyfriend, who are both artists by the way. My sister's boyfriend is from Kyoto, so he showed me around. If it wasn't for him, I would have been completely lost. So it's thanks to him that I've had such a great experience. Of course, meeting Kazu, the Japanese label manager, was another highlight of the trip. For me he's not just a label manager, he's a good friend. We got some great photos together.
"I feel like when I go to Japan, I come back a better person afterwards."
What did you buy in Japan? Gerard: I bought a lot of straps to put on my mobile phone, hahaha. I also bought a lot of souvenirs for my family and friends. Tea, Godzilla, and Studio Ghibli stuff.
Why Japan? Gerard: Because it's my favourite place in the world. It's beautiful and I like the way people take care of things. I feel like when I go to Japan, I come back a better person afterwards.
Is there anything you've learnt since you've been here? Gerard: Wow, well… I learnt about respect and the importance of thinking about what's good on a larger community level and not just about yourself.
Don't you think more Americans should travel more and see more of the world? Gerard: Everyone should, not just Americans. It's the only way to learn about the world.
I heard a rumour that you bought a CD of the Don Quixote theme song while you were in Japan. Gerard: Yeah, I liked it so much that Kazu helped me find the CD and buy it. I'm sure Matt Cortez, our guitar tech, will be thrilled when he hears it.
You once said that "I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love" (first album) was about finding yourself, and "Sweet Revenge" was about polishing yourself, so you want to make the next album the ultimate My Chemical Romance album. What exactly do you plan to do to make that happen? Gerard: I think some of the songs on the previous albums have inspired us to grow up and take more risks as a result. For example, "You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison" on "Sweet Revenge" showed us that we could explore new and more diverse areas. It's like a warm-up before a boxing match knockout. Another thing I can say is that the new album will be more colourful. It will definitely have more depth and you'll see that we don't care about the outcome, we're just going to do what we want to do.
What can we expect from the new album? Are you planning any collaborations with anyone? Who will be your producer? Gerard: I'm looking forward to some intense stuff. Also, there will be a lot of wolves. I don't know about collaborations yet, but we're going to have Rob Cavallo as producer. I'm very happy about that. It's a huge honour.
You mentioned that the new album will have more songs based on real-life experiences. What are the themes of the lyrics? Gerard: Death is still a theme in the new album, but this time it's more humorous than before. There's also a lot of references to self-loathing, self-awareness and a lot of longing. I'm using the word "love" for the first time. I can definitely say that this is based on real experiences.
Looking back, what do you think of your work so far? Gerard: I'm very proud of it. At the same time, I feel that I could have done better. Especially my parts. But hey, I'm good at criticising myself.
"I've been sober for the last year and a half, and it's made my life a lot better."
I heard that "Sweet Revenge" was a concept album, and the makeup was based on that concept. Do you think it was good the way it was? Gerard: Of course. It was necessary for us to make an artistic statement and to get the idea across. It was specific to "Sweet Revenge", and we'll do something different next time.
With that album, you guys were accepted by many people, especially the MTV demographic. I think your popularity has exploded, especially over the past year, thanks in part to the elaborate promotional videos you've made. When we spoke at Summer Sonic two years ago, you said that you still had a strong New Jersey underdog mentality, which I remember fondly. Was it a slow and gradual process for you guys to become popular since then? Or was it a sudden, dramatic change? Gerard: Even though we'd been around for quite a while, it was a sudden change. We just couldn't keep up with the fame. I don't think anyone can ever be prepared for fame. And we didn't get along well with celebrities, so we never got over the underdog mentality. Celebrity pretence was never our forte.
How important is the visual aspect? What can we expect to see from you in the future? Gerard: The visual aspect of the album art and the stage is very important. The costumes we've worn in the past, they've just naturally taken shape to suit the stage. That's why I don't wear the old stage clothes for photo shoots these days.
You have been relatively open about your depression and alcoholism. How are things going for you there? You seem to be a lot happier these days. Gerard: I'm doing great. I've been sober for the last year and a half, and it's made my life a lot better.
Finally, I know you're of Italian descent, but what other bloodlines are you mixed with? Gerard: Italian and Scottish, as well as German and Swedish. My name comes from a Catholic saint. That's a very Italian way of giving a name.
Oh, at the end of the day, did I forget to ask you anything else? Gerard: Hahaha~ I think we covered it all. Thanks for today!
Translator's Note: Please do support me via ko-fi! ☕
#Gerard Way#My Chemical Romance#MCR#The Black Parade era#my scan#translation#interview#INROCK#INROCK May 2006
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The fact that when I read this "But everyone will learn why the Other Arthur always walked alone, stare empty. Everyone will learn how Merlin has killed everyone he loved except for himself, and everyone will know how the Other Arthur has done the same to the Other Merlin." The song I was listening (it's great it's very Arthur coded AND IT FITS THIS AU TOO 🤌✨ https://youtu.be/twI3qZ6_8PQ?t=182&si=9AN09qUcLoSdzGka ) just went to the last lyrics "Oh gods that dwell beyond the stars, if you can hear my cry ; And if you have compassion, let me send no more to die" is fate omg
To come back on the subject : I LOVE HOW YOU WROTE THIS SO MMMMUUUUUCCCCCHHHBBHH (honorable mention to this because I was GAGGED OMG : I preferred you with longer hair.”
Arthur smiles, hand on the pommel of his word. Merlin shrugs, an equally menacing but darker sword materialising on his side, and right in his hand.
“It was better to hold onto when I came inside you.”
Also « We meet again merlin » <- arthur, babe, I know you wanted to ride that man until sunrise came)
>#i also have this irrational fear that someone will steal my fics ideas💀so like i always blog them under your blogs#talk about being dramatic#because i feel safer lmao
>I’m sorry if it will be quite long or under your blog, but you just caught my attention because yes!!! We
I'm very happy my blog can be a safe space! And I always LOVE when people expand on what I write!!
#but also like why i haven’t got all the time in the world to write all of these
I currently have 32 page of idea of wip in my doc (and I’m not exaggerating that’s really 32 pages 💀) and Goddness know how many are actually on my tumblr so I get it 😔😔 BUT WE REALLY NEED TO EXPAND AND CLEAN THAT ONE UP BECAUSE IT'S SO FIRE !!!!!!!!DKBSSBJSBSBSBSBSBSB
#YOUR IDEAS SOMETIMES MATCH MY IDEAS IN A WAY THAT SCARES ME
GREAT MIND THINK ALIKE or as they say were I live "Great spirits met once again"!
#but also like i always imagined this in a parallel world because i want merlin and arthur to actually see for themselves what other#possibilities there could be to their love#if there is a world where they can love each other without consequences
Tbh it could be very interesting if the reason why merthur 1's world was eating magic out of that world in particular is because merthur 2 has magic yes but it doesn't have a stable merthur relationship 👀 like merthur 1 world feed of magic of merthur 2 but merthur 2 feed of the kinder love of merthur 1 👀 and the only way they can both get stable is if not only merthur one go back and legalise magic but also if merthur 2 are put in a room and have a ‘hungry cat in heat fight’ for a week that turn into slow love making as days goes by 🤌✨ like who knew you could make war stop if you make them fuck MORE and not look at your king as you wonder when he will start to fuck less with his mortal enemy please sire it's the 8 time this month we cannot effort another tower cra— *sigh*
(also imagine from an external pov lmao like for the random people of Camelot this kingdom is already a shared custody between the king and his enemy-with-benefits who conquer it for 6 months then the king conquers the enemy-with-benefits’ kingdom then then enemy-with-benefits conquers back his own kingdom as the king conquers once more their kingdom and then—)
I just find it so interesting that canonically merthur can not hate each other. They seem also they never be able to fully live if the other is far away.
Just, this is the perfect set up fot extremely dark and toxic romance.
Like imagine : Merlin and Arthur being from enemy kingdom who are at war. They both killed countless of loved one of the other mentor, friend, lover, family,... But they can't stay away. It's like a drug Arthur needs to see Merlin, Merlin needs to see Arthur. They go out in the middle of the night, they fight, they kick, but they can never give the fatal blow. They hold each other so tightly you could never know where one begins and where the other end. They scream 'I hate you, I hate you, I hate you so much' and yet, between kisses they whisper 'I hate you, I hate you, I love you, goddess, I love you so much"
When Merlin's kingdom manage to take Uther's castle, they make love on the bloody floor. They run their bloody finger in each other hair, pulling on them so hard you could wonder how they manage to never break their kiss. Merlin takes, takes and takes. Spreading blood on Arthur's flanks, pushing him on the cold floor. Arthur fights, fights and fights. Pushing back, searching for a sword but when he find one he barely put it on Merlin’s neck before throwing it away and taking merlin in a crushing embrace.
When Arthur will take back his Castle, when Merlin will lose his and take it back again. When they will have made each other king by turning rivers red. Maybe they will find a different love or maybe they won't. It doesn't matter, as for now, their kisses have only one taste, blood and war.
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“boys beware” by Mad Tsai but it’s Evan talking about Barty
#rosekiller#barty crouch x evan rosier#barty x evan#dead gay wizards#music#those fuckers are so gay#and I love them for that#just the song reminded me of them#also it’s not like I’m thinking about them multiple times a day#nope#not at all#me am sane#and not obsessed with two gay psychopaths#haha#not AT ALL#this is fine#totally normal#yup#actually I think the song can go both ways#like it can be Evan about Barty#and Barty about Evan#ooooh I like both actually#how is poor me supposed to choose?#:(
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Master manipulator vs Master manipulator
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#xue yang#a-qing#The scenes with XY and A-Qing are so delightfully tense and anxiety inducing#They are both so deep in the mind games with each other. Convinced they have the leg up when in reality they do not know the full scope#Also is is just me or do XY and A-Qing give off the vibe of internet nemeses?#A-Qing coming in hard with 'Oh you think blind people cant do XYZ? Get canceled idiot'#Meanwhile XY is the kind to purposefully use leet speak in descriptive text to antagonize the screen reader population.#a teen girl and a 4-channer who found his way to tumblr would be awful to watch fight irl but the vibes are equivalent.#Meanwhile XXC is going on a nice little walk to pick grass. I love him so much actually.#through writing these notes I have also gone down the rabbit hole of trying to pinpoint Xue Yang's age. Hello? Is it actually not known?#The best resources I could find put him as 1-3 years younger then xxc and song lan#So? early twenties? late teens? Someone who has absorbed more mdzs knowledge...Please help#Oh no I'm even deeper in the rabbit hole now. What do you mean the ages are mostly just relative?#What do you mean cultivators can age differently (usually slower in xianxia)#Oh no oh no wwx doesn't have a golden core. I was too accurate in my homestuck AU re: lifespans. I want to go back.#(I love angst and am now marinating this thought in my little thinking chamber)
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ok how bout i go through it (spoilers ahead for both the album and for tma!! i'd personally recommend going in blind and then reading this review)
lmao i say that like a question but you already know i will hold you here until you are done listening to me talk and talk and talk and t
SPOILERS BELOW!
1. spiraling down is an absolute VIBE. i am really really enjoying this
OHMG THEY SAMPLED MICHAELS LAUGH THATS SICK!!!!!! THIS IS GENUINELY INCREDIBLE. 8/10 because its a great song absolute banger but doesnt really mesh with the spiral/themes of insanity as much as it could imo
additional notes: omg how did i not catch the door opening/closing noises at the beginning and end of the song on my first listen. hello.
2. this is glorious ambiance. omg. OH MY GOD OH MYG OD THAT'S TERRIFYING
holy CRAP
HOLY CRAP DUDE JUST go listen to this i am BLOWN AWAY by the production quality and attention to detail
corruption is flawless so far
JESUS
that was 10/10 hands down glorious. very sinister. i wont spoil it for you but it's an experience
3. YAAAAAS I LOVE BREAKBEAT its chill in like a desolation type way
really really sick bass going on here holy shoes
THIS ONE IS ACTUALLY AMAZING I LOVE THEM ALL I LOVE THEMMM they're all different and magical and vibey in their own ways
ok im kinda getting the style of this artist now. i rescind my earlier comments about the spiral not being spiral-adjacent enough for me. for this style it's PERFECTION
DOES SHE FEEL IT!!!!!? BECAUSE IT'S ALL HAPPENED BEFORE!!!!!
4. OMG THIS IS ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE. STRAIGHT FIRE
this is really reminding me of milwaukee protocol A6 (milwaukee protocol is another fantastic underrated album that i highly recommend)
5. the use of sfx in this project is completely insane it's gorgeous dude
OOOOGH
i can see you seeing me ...
oh my lord jons voice in the background
HOLY CHRIST THAT BEAT DROP
LITERALLY BONKERS
im in AWE *explodes*
this is what played during 200 actually. i make the rules
this is actually genuinely fantastic music though. i did noT expect it to be THIS good
6. WHOA I AM SPOOKED
i ADORE THIS ONE !!!!!!! IT'S PERFECT FOR THE DARK!!!!!
7. THAT WAS INCREDIBLE I HAV E NO WORDS it sounded like a lovely deep purple
8. WOW OK STRAIGHT FIRE RIGHT OFF THE BAT????
YOOOOOOOO THIS IS BEAUTIFUL
every time i think of the flesh as a fear i remember jonny saying he was proud of its justification (fear of being nothing more than your body, fear of being warped and horribly disfigured beyond recognition, fear of being hurt and of being chopped up and consumed) and YES JONNY I AGREE YOU SHOULD BE
anyway totally amazing
OH HELLLLLL YESSSSSSSSSS THEY USED A CLIP FROM KILLING FLOOR MY FAVORITE MAG (well it's the one i say is my favorite — definitely top ten at least)
IM GETTING ACTUAL CHILLS JESUS
9. AYE THAT WAS SICK
oooooh ???
HOLY FRICK.
THE USE OF DRUMS IN THIS IS BRILLIANT DO YOU HEAR THOSE RIDES CRASHING
the best way i can articulate my thoughts is this: these songs sound exactly like a poetic description of the fears they convey
OHHHH MYY GOOODDDD THIS IS SOOOO GOOODDD
!!!!!!you can tell a tonnnn of work went into these
im going to need to relisten to this all the way through,, oh my
10. i predict this one will either sound incredibly muffled or earsplittingly loud
hmm ok so far very mellow
OOOO STRINGS
this kinda beat is right up my alley
11. AAAAAAAbsolute vibe. loving it. lovvve. definitely very interesting
12. OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!!!!!! IT'S EVERYTHGING!!!!!! iT'S EVERYTHING I HOPED IT WOULD BE I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS IM SCREAMING AND SBBING DYING ON THE FLOOR i "fell" in love with the vast a while ago (he h heh) and i have NEEDDED something like this in my life this is the most amazing vast ambiance i have eEVER heard oh mygodoogodmy god new go-to unlocked 100000000000/10
13. OH M GEE LONELY IS PERFECT TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FLAWLESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this could work for vast too i think but it's more melancholy. it sounds like it would play in martin's domain. screaming screaming internally i feel so
its making me feel things bro
oh this is just gorgeous all around
im obsessed im CRAZY
the slow descent...into "maybe it's better this way".... the loss of self. so acutely conveyed through music.
that gentle pause that says i dont know what to do anymore now that im alone; i guess i just keep going.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVVVVVE for the second half of the song they somehow made drums belong in the lonely hello??
THE ECHOES are hurting me in my soul this is BRILLIANT.
NNNNO STOP THEY ADDED MORE PAIN
14. TERMINUS!!!!!! LETS GOOOOO!!!!!!!!! oh i am fEELING this minecraft end dimension ahh sound ok get it
i really like that they put the end at the end lol
it needs no ritual, for in its infinite patience it knows inevitability
me when i slowly approach death with this playing
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
ENNNNDDDING NOTESSSS
this entire album is so so so beautiful please feel free to check it out 👍
tbh tma video game when?? and also please hire this guy for it??
HELLO. I GENUINELY CANT PICK A FAVORITE. i adore them all for different reasons.
i like how hunted is really long and sort of repetitive — it articulates that feeling of the never-ending chase. also its STRAIGHT FIRE so ive just been listening to it over and over
corruption is BRILLIANT for a variety of reasons i love love love that one
currently listening to ceaseless watcher because both the BASS and the BEAT DROP are INSANE im so normal about this audio art of this other thing that im also very normal about
ehehe thanks :D
guys btw i found this fabulous af tma fan album — fourteen tracks, one per fear — largely instrumental but it's ABsoLUTEly AMAZING. epicest ever. it's called "panopticon" and is by harvo.
#tma#the magnus archives#jazz freaks out about tma#well. ish. its more of me freakign out about a fanwork. but yk#tma.txt
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I’d love to hear your thoughts on what Eldritch peredhel entail
-@@outofangband
Sorry this took so long @outofangband and thank you for asking this I am! Delighted! And am preemptively putting a read more down because I cannot shut up about they <3
alright I'm just gonna put stuff and headcanons down as they occur to me so expect low-moderate levels of coherency
shapeshifting is an obvious one (gets weaker down the generations) but because my brain is Like This I have caveats!
thanks to my whole peredhil things=gender allegory that my brain spit out without my permission I've long struggled against my inherent feeling that while they can shapeshift they don't like it
but because I'm now aware of my brain's reasoning I can say it's because of ✨fantasy dysphoria✨
that's oversimplifying, obviously, but peredhil already have so much issues with working through who and what they are and compromising between body and mind and spirit that actively choosing to change into/present as something/someone who They Are Not is. Not usually their cup of tea.
As a whole they tend to have specific forms that they prefer as being closer to themselves, and distinct enough that it doesn't feel like they're faking something they're not
(changing to look like a different person, or a edited version of themself is Very Very not fun unless either explicitly for disguise or shenanigans)
(the exception to this is that Luthien can make herself look almost perfectly human without any real issue. she doesn't do it often but especially as she ages she likes to catch glimpses of her reflection and get both excited and sappy. this is in contrast to making herself look almost perfectly like an elf which makes her feel like her skin is on fire.)
(Also I'm pretty sure all of them can flip their agab presentation while only feeling varying degrees of off, and even then it's a different feeling than the shapeshifting dysphoria. Dior and Elwing are the two who I think mind it the most)
They all have the (agonizing to write) trait of feeling very distinct relationships to their species in their body vs soul/mind vs spirit/fea and they all feel it very differently! This isn't exclusive to Luthien's line but the maia blood does make it worse.
Oh! This is a new headcanon of mine actually but!
They all have faces that are very very hard to capture in image. They are the bane of portrait artists (and, to a degree, sculptors) everywhere because the art never looks accurate to life
It's not blatantly off it's just. missing something? Or something was added? maybe it's a little too wide, or narrow, or long, or short, in one place or another
It's not unrecognizable but if you've ever seen the subject in real life you can just tell
It's especially bad with Luthien (and Daeron) and Dior (to a lesser extent) because everyone literally sees them differently, as in their features will be slightly different depending on what each person finds attractive/aesthetically appealing and beautiful
(not a lot, again, it's not unrecognizable, but there has never and will never be any accurate depiction of Luthien as she was as a person)
(as a concept, though, as the most beautiful creature to have ever existed in Arda, a little of her image exists in every portrait lovingly made of a beloved spouse, every child's drawing of their family, in biological sketches of songbirds and field mice, in a sculpture of a stranger's face. Daeron remembers his sister perfectly, but he collects these regardless)
(Arwen, Luthien come again, isn't described as such by her grandparents. Galadriel and Celeborn both knew Luthien, and while Arwen and her father both look as closely to her as genetically possible, to those who actually know them both it's nothing more than uncanny family resemblance. Luthien was to most a concept personified, Arwen is a person with concepts imposed on her.)
The list of people who have seen Luthien how she actually, physically, defaultly is, essentially consists of Melian, Daeron, Beren, and Dior
Beren doesn't see her as she is right away because he doesn't know her right away, but they learn about each other and she shows herself and he sees her and by the time she rescues him from Tol-im-Gaurhoth there are no echoes on her face
(He's always a little bit haunted that he nearly died without realizing he'd never quite seen the truth of her before)
Neither Thingol or Beren can quite see their own features on their children's faces. They clearly take after their mothers, after all!
(This leads to much affectionate eye-rolling on Melian and Luthien's part)
Hair stuff!
It's alive! kinda! it's definitely not normal hair!
It moves a lot on its own. Sometimes like a breeze is blowing where there isn't one. Sometimes more like tentacles. It depends on its mood.
They've got some very pretty traditional cosmic horror vibes swirling around on their heads. It's very sparkly and colorful but in a Forbidden Shrimp Colors that your brain is unable to comprehend way so it reads as iridescent black mostly, or holographic white, where applicable
Luthien's hair actually is a glimpse into space, Daeron's is a glance at a star
(Luthien's magic hair cloak survives, I think, into the 4th age and beyond, though if anyone/anything has found it they certainly don't know the origins of the beautifully intricate living star map. It has seen the reign of countless north stars, yet the lines always point to the same coordinates- where the ancient, sunken, ruined remains of what once was Tol-im-Gaurhoth lay)
Speed round!
Fangs and talons and horns oh my! Are they tooth and keratin and bone, or are they petrified wood and gem and stone? Yes!
They all smell a little like ozone and a lot like petrichor, flowers, and Green. If you've smelled green you know what I'm talking about. Also, unfortunately, like bird. Birds don't smell great, especially wet bird.
Weird Foresight Powers++
(Most of them don't have actual foresight, but all of them are more in-tune with the Song than is natural for an incarnate)
Their eyes glow, most notably in the dark, unless the irises turn black as they sometimes do. They are also all unnaturally bright versions of the less-spooky parent's- Dior's are gold, Elwing's are blue-green like a tropical sea (Elured and Elurin split the color between them- ultramarine and emerald), Elrond and Elros have pale star-gold, Elladan, Elrohir, and Arwen all have silver.
(Daeron and Luthien being the exception again, because I decided they have Melian's eyes before I decided this, and I don't know what color eyes Thingol has. Watsonianly: Melian's spooky genes overwrite a lot. Luthien's genotype is probably much closer to his than her magically overwritten phenotype)
Their sclerae turn black and their pupils white, on occasion, usually when using powers
They don't bleed right. It's a little too red for an elf, a little too light for a human, and it shines strange as it beads like quicksilver on the skin
They have very shiny, cool skin. Luthien looked like her's was silver plate under a stretched stocking, the rest toned it down from there but it's still noticeable.
The Song is. Attached to them. They are all very much Main Characters. Their lives have a clear story arc with symbolism and narrative parallels. They are all subconsciously aware that their lives are a fairytale, whether tragic or no, and yes this has many Implications and affects. They are not the only ones like this, but they are the only ones who, to some level, know they are in a story.
This is the fundamental separation between them and everyone else.
The difference in how they perceive themselves between heart soul and spirit is very difficult to explain and understand, but not impossible to someone who knows them and is willing to put in the work.
The life-long knowledge that they are Important to the Song and their every choice and event they experience and their mere existence serves a greater purpose in a way that most other people simply do not- that's very, very isolating.
No one else can understand how they see the world. Very very few people are willing to try, and even fewer in a way that's not frustrating. There is a reason most of them find only one person to latch on to outside of their family, and a reason they hold on through hell and high water.
(This is about being neurodivergent)
#asks#outofangband#eldritch peredhil#gonna go into more detail about preferred shape forms here bc it's important to me but not relevant lol#luthien: nightingale/s (obviously) but also a starling and to a lesser extent various other birds- preference toward passerine and raptors#wolf and deer are both fine- wolf especially for snuggles- she can go bat and enjoy it but only after thuringwethil#(which is a whole thing for her to unpack)#dior: cat (male calico specifically) wolf and bat#and then a kingfisher starling nightingale red-crowned crane and a bird of prey (currently thinking maybe a swallow-tailed kite?)#e^2 1.0 don't actually have the same feeling towards shapeshifting bc of the whole consumed by doriath to become Entities thing#so they're closer to maiar vibes-wise than even luthien entirely was#elwing: starling beach mouse and then pretty much most seabirds#but on the whole Song's Specialist Little Guys thing#obviously its up to individual philosophy on if free will can exist in the face of Destiny#my opinion is yes but i think all of them have a different take#luthien thinks no but is happy/fine with this and thinks its very romantic. daeron also thinks no but is resigned and ultimately content.#neither of them understand the average person being deeply uncomfortable at the idea of the lack of free will#their mom is a maia this is just normal to them#dior thinks yes at first but flips around a lot through his life#its a pretty hard no post-death but when he gets reembodied he becomes deeply aware that he is No Longer Important but nothing changes so??#elwing thinks absolutely not and uses this to cope. she feels like she has so little agency already#at least if it's cosmic there's nothing she could've done#at least if it's cosmic her mistakes are worth something#(she needs so much therapy)#earendil is the only spouse who comes to fully understand this. he cant decide what he thinks. every option seems horrifying in its own way#elrond and elros both think yes and use this to cope. they can be better. they can make things better.#there may be a story but they can make it a happy one.#they're people and that has to count for something.
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fire and the thud came on my spotify shuffle while me and my sister were listening to music this afternoon, and at the end of it she turns to me and goes “who was that? the lyrics sound like the kind of thing you’d write” and honestly i think it’s one of my favourite unintentional compliments i’ve ever received
#the fact that she’s been reading my writing since we were both kids and knows that side of me better than anyone too#idk it just made it really hit with that bit more weight#also something about it was weirdly validating#because like that whole album has such a special place in my heart#i have never heard anything that connects me so fundamentally with my creativity in the way humbug does#and so to have someone who knows nothing about am go ‘hey these lyrics remind me of the way your mind works’#when hearing those songs for the first time sometimes felt like someone had reached into my brain#was just#yeah#i don't even know actually#i'm not trying to claim i can write like alex btw#i'm not delusional lol#but i do hear echoes of myself and the way i connect with creativity so often in his writing#which is i think why i connect with it so much#even if i express that creativity differently#(and with less skill)#sorry i'm just rambling at this point#i feel like i'm not explaining this well at all but my brain is so foggy rn#so i'm going to shut up now and go back to my book#thanks/apologies to anyone who's read their way though this whole ramble#humbug#lulu posts
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