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drabsyo · 3 years ago

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I was wondering...I was always confused about Narcissa’s hair. It’s been a while since I read the books. Did she color it blonde to show her now belonging to House Malfoys. Or was it naturally blonde? Movies confused me a bit I guess.

Yes, this had me confused too! I've agonized and toiled over it, more than I probably should, about how I should draw her hair because people have generally different views, which is totally understandable! 💕

And I've always wanted to discuss it, so now that I've been given a reason to... Well.

If you take a look at some of my Narcissa fanart, you'll notice the different ways I'd color her hair. I was so confused. Is she a light blonde? Dark blonde? A mix of raven hair and blonde hair? If she has blonde hair then why does her family have (mostly) dark hair? And WHY does she have blue eyes?! This woman is absolutely confusing! (Which is kind of, you know, fitting because Narcissa always loves to be a mystery to literally anyone lol)

So I did my homework, asked around, and scoured every bit of information, canon or otherwise, that I could find about her. It led me to this:

In canon, this is what the Black sisters look like. You can find the page here. Narcissa is a child here, and already has blonde hair. So we can go ahead and safely assume that she was born with natural blonde hair. But in the films, Narcissa has black and blonde hair. I don't actually know why they gave her that hair color, maybe so that the audiences wouldn't question her blood relations with the Blacks--I don't know. I really don't. But now we have a book version Narcissa, one who has full blonde hair. And a movie version Narcissa, one who has raven and blonde hair. At least, that's how the different hair colors started: a movie version, and a book version.

So... here's where it gets confusing.

To my knowledge, it isn't actually explained why her hair color is the way it is in both the movies and the books. Having blonde hair does raise many questions, how is she the "only" blonde in a family of dark hair and dark eyes? To top it all off, it gets even more confusing, because fanon writes and draws her either as a full blonde or a mix of raven and blonde hair. We just have this large pile to sift through of her having either hair color. No one actually explains anything. She's just... infuriatingly there. She's either blonde or raven haired and blonde. BUT fanfiction writers, as I've observed, give their own reasons why Narcissa's hair color is the way it is in their respective stories. And it's actually pretty creative and interesting! It adds even greater depth to her character, and it fits the narrative of the story even better. Remember, the character we're dealing with is Narcissa Black. One of her main traits is "she won't do anything unless there is a clear purpose behind it." This character is deliberate, meticulous, and she makes sure to plan ahead at all times. And so, some fanfiction writers decide to play on that.

You can skip this part if you want to avoid spoilers but I've compiled a small list of instances in (Cissamione) fanfiction where Narcissa's hair is mentioned.

🔹 In Extinction by rubikanon in Chapter 10: Build and Break, Hermione asks Narcissa about it. Here, Narcissa has black and blonde hair. She explains that she only decided to dye it blonde to "fit in with the Malfoys." We can gather two things from that alone, which resonates with her character perfectly: 1.) Narcissa is loyal and 2.) Narcissa purposefully wants to show the rest of the world how loyal she is by committing to having blonde hair. The woman has some serious commitment, and it shows. But now, the way that it's slowly growing back into her natural black hair color, hints that perhaps Narcissa no longer wishes to fit in with the Malfoys. However, if we take an even closer look, we can safely assume that Narcissa isn't the kind of person to just leave her hair color "unattended" like that. Remember, she's meticulous. And this is a big deal for her, the fact that she's just kind of letting it grow back instead of either fully dyeing it back to black, or dyeing it back to blonde. It suggests that perhaps she's a little unsure this time, perhaps it is her uncertainty that is the reason why it's now a mix of both. Another grey area? Or maybe it's actually something more deliberate? Maybe now, she likes that it's a mix of both. That other half now being solely for Draco, and not to fit in (completely) with the Malfoys any longer. Who knows why Narcissa does things the way she does? We can speculate to the ends of the earth, or be as smart as Hermione Granger (or with the case of Extinction, see Hermione's thoughts), but something tells me we'd still be a good step behind.

"Which one is your natural hair color?" I wondered aloud.

(Narcissa) She glanced up at the unexpected question. I was relieved she hadn't sensed my attention yet. It's not like I meant anything by it, I told myself. She was so beautiful, one couldn't help but notice. And feel physically drawn to her. And want to see her two-toned hair fanned across her back, slipping over the bare skin, silky beneath my fingers...

"Why do you ask?" Her query brought me back to reality, and I hurriedly corrected my imagination to include a pretty dress covering the rest of her.

"I don't know." I chewed the inside of my cheek, suppressing my other thoughts. "I'm just curious."

Her gaze returned to the fire. "You've seen enough of my relatives to guess which color is genetic. The blond is something I added to fit in with the Malfoys, after Draco was born." She was quiet for a moment. "He looks so much like his father. I suppose I wanted to share some resemblance."

🔹 In Killing Me Softly by Looktotheedges in Chapter 4: Nagging, Hermione suggests that perhaps Narcissa is part Veela because of her blonde hair and very attractive features, like Fleur. Which is this whole other theory/plot that's very interesting, but won't be discussed in this post. Narcissa tells Hermione that Sirius has always been blonde, and that it isn't out of the question for her to be blonde either. Sirius Black. A blonde. I know! Maybe it's there because it's funny that Sirius is actually blonde like Narcissa. Prissy, haughty, lady-like Narcissa. Arguably the 'girliest' cousin that he has. No, no, no. He doesn't want to be anything like Narcissa. Anyway, if that's the reason, I think that's hilarious and cute.

Narcissa turns away. 'I am aware my appearance is frightfully drab. Work has been…'

Hermione holds back a disbelieving scoff. 'Narcissa. You always look beautiful. And you’re talking to the witch with grass in her hair who practically lives in her office all week.'

Narcissa just leans further over the crib. 'A blonde little boy. It has been so long since… I can almost imagine…'

Hermione stands next to her. Looks down at the peacefully sleeping Louis. He does look remarkably like Draco. 'Are you sure there’s no Veela blood in you? You weren’t secretly switched at birth?'

'Like a changeling?'

'It would explain your blonde hair.'

'Sirius was also blonde, it is not completely out of the question for us Blacks.'

What?!

(...) 'I know. But it is the truth. He was blond until he was about seven… then it began to darken. Mousy. Dull. He wanted to look cool and brooding instead, so he got his hands on some kind of charm right before he set off for Hogwarts. A new, edgy Sirius. It was around then he forbade us from calling him Siri. Said it sounded too girly.'

🔹 In Fixed in Time by TheWorldsaBeastofBurden in Chapter 9: Sisters and Saviors, it's also tackled a little humorously. Andromeda let's a little comment slip while they're in the middle of trying to heal Hermione. Something funny, something that suggests Andromeda and Bella, when they were children, have always wondered why Narcissa is blonde unlike them.

The first words spoken occurred after they’d risen and attempted their casting. Andromeda’s preparedness to take on their task had been clear in her mind so Narcissa rose with her sister, wrapped an arm around her waist and held her near as the woman raised her wand to draw up the rest of the injury she’d dropped, half a slash across Hermione’s hip bone…

That remained half, as Andromeda growled out, “...it isn’t working.” she looked to Narcissa, “Why aren’t you powering me?”

What nonsense? “I am!” she insisted. She was! Or “I- I am trying to!” Her magic was active and alive, pulsing to rise from her skin and transfer into Andromeda’s but it- it wasn’t working! “Could...could it be that you were disowned?”

“Disowning doesn’t take away the fact that we share blood, our magic is directly related. Ugh, Bella always said you were adopted!”

“Oh ha- oh.”

“...oh?” Andromeda returned.

“...it’s not an issue of power. It is what I intend to aid in casting,” Narcissa slowly worked out. Oh, it was most blessed Mister Goyle could be brought to assist the present Hermione. If her present self had been brought to aid Andromeda? “...I cannot harm Hermione.”

Andromeda sighed with some frustration. “I understand you are so tenderly in love-”

“It isn’t- I’m avowed! I- when we arrived from the future we had to escape Malfoy Manor, I couldn’t bring Hermione through the wards without...I couldn’t add her directly, that would be visible. I had to...attach her permission to mine.”

🔹 In Glass Silence by Zarrene Moss (Menzosarres), which probably gives one of the most interesting backstories for Narcissa's hair, for why it's blonde. I can't put a clip of the scene here without hogging up a huge chunk of space on your dash, so I'll try to explain it as best I can instead.

Understand that these come with serious 🛑spoilers🛑 so please do read it at your own risk.

In Glass Silence, Narcissa's hair and eye color was black at birth. But after an accident with raw magic, something Bellatrix wasn't able to control when they were children, Narcissa almost dies. Bellatrix, using even more raw magic, tries desperately to pull Narcissa's "life force" back, but at the cost of losing the eumelanin that made Narcissa's eyes and hair black. Narcissa survived, but now has very little eumelanin left, which is why she's so pale, blonde, and has blue eyes. Every time Narcissa looks at a mirror, her reflection is a reminder of the day she almost died. Bella, on the other hand, is reminded of that day every single time she looks at Narcissa.

So! These are only a few fanfictions I could think of at the top of my head that tackles the issue of Narcissa's hair. In the books, to my knowledge, she is described as having blonde hair and very pale skin.

But let's take another deep dive, if you're up for it.

These are mostly theories, which are largely unconfirmed, but I think they're interesting to think about.

There's this description in the wiki:

"Narcissa Malfoy is described as tall, slim, "nice looking", and very pale, with blue eyes, long blonde hair, and a clear, cold voice. Her hair colouring thus differs from most of the House of Black, who generally have dark hair, though Narcissa does possess the arrogant good looks characteristic of her family."

There's also this pinterest photo of the Black sisters being compared to each other side by side, descriptively and physically. I'm so sorry, I don't know who drew it, but here's a link to the post on pinterest.

"Narcissa threw back her hood. She was so pale she seemed to shine in the darkness... long blonde hair streaming down her back."

Which is interesting because this hints that she's... different. It's a bit literal in this sense--she comes from a pureblood family, arguably the most influential and notorious one, the Blacks, who mostly have dark hair and eyes, and yet her physical appearance directly contrast that. There's also the matter of her namesake. She's the only Black to be named after a flower instead of a galaxy or a star. We aren't really given any explanation why she's the only one who's different. Even Sirius, who fought and died for the side of the Light, is named after the brightest star in the sky. Even Andromeda. It's been said that this is actually meant to be a parallel of some sort to Lily Evans. Narcissa and Lily are both named after flowers, even Petunia (Lily's sister). And I know there's this thing where it's a tie up to how Harry was ultimately saved by a mother's love: Harry lived at the beginning because of his mother's love, and Harry lives once again at the end of the books because Narcissa, a mother who wanted to save her own son, saved him.

If you read that scene in the books where Harry is saved by Narcissa, the whole scene is actually... pretty soft? There's that sort of disarming softness about Narcissa in that moment, where Harry expected to be callously dragged and prodded for a heartbeat. Instead, he gets a surprisingly gentle touch, a curtain of long blonde hair shielding him from the darkness, and the kind of tenderness he wouldn't expect from his enemies, "Is Draco alive?"

It's almost like Narcissa's appearance is something of a "tell". With Andromeda, she's described to have kind eyes, open, unguarded. She inherited her family's dark eyes and dark hair, and she even looks like Bellatrix's twin. I suppose we could say, Andromeda wants to fight that in any way she can by being openly kind. Narcissa is quite literally the opposite--guarded eyes, stoic expressions, cool and calculated emotions. We're veering into this fine line between fanon and canon in terms of their characterization (but only due to lack of canon materials) but personally, I think Narcissa having blonde hair and blue eyes is somewhat more fitting for her character. Again, this line:

"Narcissa threw back her hood. She was so pale she seemed to shine in the darkness... long blonde hair streaming down her back."

It's like that one glaringly obvious hint that everyone overlooks simply because... because it's the most obvious one. "Me! I'm different! I'm the last person you'd expect, but it really is me!"

Anyway. I've rambled on long enough. Hope this clears up some of that confusion, anon. Hoping it didn't ADD even more confusion... 😂 At the end of the day, this is just me speculating, gushing, and being One Big Fool™. So.

But either way, blonde hair, dark hair, mix of both, I adore her. Pretty much.

#narcissa black #narcissa malfoy #cissamione #anon #HAIR TALK #drabstuff #stupid ramblings

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autumnsart22 · 3 years ago

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Suna x reader: Final part (smut)

Here’s the final part to my Suna series! I wasn’t satisfied with my fluff version of the ending (which you can read here if you’re interested) so I decided to write a more smutty version.

Warning: degradation, angry sex, light choking, mostly just a lot of degrading lol

I genuinely think this is the hottest fanart I’ve ever seen of him I can barely look at it without ✨butterflies✨.

Art creds go to @minghuaa_art on twitter!

Despite Kita seeing you that day in the car, Suna still asked to keep whatever was between you a secret. That was fine with you--you didn’t particularly want a boyfriend, especially with the second semester of college work picking up. You still got to see him pretty often, hooking up in his car or your dorm at least three nights a week or more. Never the frat house; apparently his roommates were annoying.

It was nice. Easy. Far easier than you ever expected friends with benefits to be. And beyond the sex, you loved talking to Suna; laying together on your tiny bed, legs tangled, while he explained the new music he was listening to, or walking together to the cafeteria as he made you laugh so hard that water came out of your nose.

The good parts were enough to overlook the bad parts. At first.

Suna was an abnormally horrific texter, barely ever responding within the day, if at all. If you ever wanted to get in contact with him, you’d have to call directly. And honestly even then he didn’t have the best track record.

What was more frustrating was that it was always on his time. He would text you asking to hang out that night, and you would say yes, and then he wouldn’t respond until the following afternoon with some vague excuse about being busy. The first few times it happened, you got so mad that you didn’t respond to his calls, until he showed up at your dorm with panda express and forced you to watch Tokyo Ghoul with him.

He had apologized...but it didn’t stop happening. It made you feel like you were some sort of side whore, who he called when he was bored and had nothing better to do. Like you were second best to everything else he had going on in his life.

You had promised yourself from the beginning that you wouldn’t allow yourself to get close enough to get hurt, but it was hard. You really, really liked him.

You liked the way he would stare at you while you talked, actually listening and curious as to what you had to say. You liked the way he hugged you after a few days of not seeing each other, burying his face in your hair like he couldn’t get close enough to you. You liked the way he laughed, both the usual, quiet chuckles and the rare snorting wheezes. You liked the way his mouth looked when he smoked, the way he moaned your name when he came, the way he could make you laugh at anything at any time.

You didn’t want to get the “I told you so” talk from Kiyoko, so you avoided the topic all together: with her, and yourself.

After one month of hanging out with Suna, you were planning on meeting up and going to see a movie. Both of you were more homebodies, preferring to stay in rather than party, but you had decided that you wanted to try and expand your horizons once again. The movies seemed like a happy compromise.

The film was something Suna had been talking about for a while, an action thriller that honestly looked like shit but got good audience reviews because of all the flashy fight scenes. He had been so excited when it came out that you hadn’t been able to say no to going, especially not after he pried you with food.

He was coming to get you at 6 pm, and your last class ended at 3pm, which gave you plenty of time to get ready. You stared at the face of your teacher on the screen within your zoom class, zoning out as he explained the flood system around the school. You glanced over as your phone buzzed, a message from Suna popping up on the screen.

Suna

Wha u doying rit now?

You

What?

Suna

Sorr little drynk

You

You’re drunk?

Suna

im at psrty

You

Are we still seeing a movie tonight?

There was no response, and you felt your stomach drop. You didn’t even notice as your teacher ended class and logged you off the meeting. Suna was at a party at 3 in the afternoon, drunk, and didn’t seem to remember you had plans. You swallowed, shoving your phone aside as you ground your teeth. Why was he so frustrating?

You stood up, angry at yourself for caring, furious at Suna for making you feel this way, for being such a piece of shit. You knew what party he was probably at--Kiyoko had said she was going at some point--and suddenly you were moving before you could think about it.

You dressed nice, but casual enough that it wasn’t out of place at a frat party. Sexy enough to make him want you though, of course.

You didn’t give yourself time for nerves as you strode from your dorm and headed in the direction of the frat house, following a steady stream of people already going in that direction. You knew it was Friday, but how the fuck were so many people already getting ready to party when it was literally 3:30????

It wasn’t overly crowded in the house when you entered, but enough where it was confusing as you wandered through the crowd. You snatched two drinks from the counter, downing them as fast as possible as you searched for Suna in the crowd. You’d need to be at least tipsy before having this confrontation.

You found him in the living room, sprawled out on the couch next to who you recognized to be Akaashi, Kuroo, Kita, and Iwaizumi--all who you knew through Kiyoko. There were a few others you didn’t know, and they were all clearly drunk out of their minds.

As you entered the room, Suna met your eyes for a brief moment, but then they moved on without a reaction. He didn’t care at all that you had come to find him, or that he had never responded to your text.

The drink in your hand trembled, and you walked out of the room without looking back.

Instead of talking to Suna, you decided to get wasted. An hour after first coming to the party, you were deep in a game of beer pong and you had a pleasant warmth in your gut, the world a little hazy. You felt braver, more angry, and suddenly all you wanted to do was track down that yellow eyed idiot and slap him.

“Where’s Suna?” You slurred, turning to look at your partner at beer pong. You knew him vaguely as one of the frat boys, Suna’s friend Atsumu.

Atsumu grinned, raising his eyebrows as he stared down at you. “Suna? Why?”

You weren’t drunk enough to tell him of your “friendship” with Suna, so you just shrugged.

“He’s over there,” Atsumu pointed towards the kitchen, and you felt all the blood drain from your face as you followed his gaze. Sitting in a chair, his back to you, was Suna...and on his lap was a beautiful blonde girl with her hands in his hair as she kissed him fiercely.

You must have made some sort of sound, because Atsuma looked back at you. “You good?”

You forced yourself to nod. “I’m...going to go get some fresh air.”

“I’ll come,” he said, and you decided not to argue.

Seeing Suna had sobered you up considerably, but your emotions were still a complete mess. All you could feel was a deep, unending hurt.

As you headed down the hall, Atsumu grabbed your wrist and spun you around to face him. “So...you and Suna huh?” He said, a strange smile on his face.

“What are you--?”

“It’s fine, you don’t have to keep it a secret.” He took a step towards you, and you raised your eyebrows.

“We aren’t together.”

“Really? Then you wouldn’t mind,” He gently took your chin, lifting your face. “If I did this?”

“I--”

“What the fuck.”

All the breath wooshed out of you at the familiar voice, which was now laced with anger. Suna stood a few feet away, his hands in his pockets as he watched you and Atsumu. He was smiling, but it was icy with rage and...jealousy?

“Suna,” Atsumu grinned, releasing your face but not stepping back. “What do you want?”

Suna jerked his chin in your direction. “How about you get away from her, and then we’ll talk?”

“Dude,” Atsumu rolled his eyes. “She just told me she was single. I don’t get what the problem is.”

Suna’s face tightened. “If you don’t get the fuck out of here in the next three seconds, I swear I will break your--”

“Chill, ok!” Atsumu stepped back from you, given you a frustrated look before heading away down the hall.

When he was out of sight, Suna’s head slowly turned to face you, his eyes dark. “Single?” His voice was a low snarl.

You swallowed, feeling your anger return full force. How dare he. “Yes!” You snapped, “Since you clearly don’t view this as any sort of relationship.”

“What are you talking about?”

“So you can go off kissing other girls, but I can’t flirt with Atsumu?”

“Looked like a bit more than flirting,” he said, teeth bared, before the other part of what you said caught up to him. “And how drunk are you? I wasn’t kissing shit!”

“Are you seriously lying to my face right now? I saw you!”

“I didn’t kiss anyone! Do you really think that little of me?”

You clenched your fists. “Atsumu said--”

Suna was in your face in a second, towering over you as he backed you against the wall. “What did he say?” He growled.

You clenched your jaw, glaring at him in silence.

Suna gave a dark chuckle. “So that’s how it’s going to be, huh?”

You barely had time to react before he gripped your chin, kissing you roughly and shoving his tongue in your mouth. You moaned, and the sound snapped whatever restraints Suna had. His hands ran down the back of your thighs, lifting you up so you could wrap your legs around his waist as he carried you through the nearest door into a random bedroom. He kissed down your neck as he kicked the door shut, and you gasped as he tossed you on the bed.

Your eyes slid down his chest and across his toned stomach as he pulled his shirt over his head, completely at a loss for what to do. You could feel the heat pulsing between your legs, making your heart race and your body tremble. But this was wrong. Right?

You didn’t have anymore time to think about it as Suna gripped your ankles, dragging you to the end of the bed.

“Why do you still have clothes on?” He snarled, yanking your leggings off and leaving them in a tangled mess on the floor. His eyes darkened as they swept over the pair of lacy underwear you had worn, sliding towards your center where you kept your thighs clenched tightly together.

He didn’t say a word as he forced your legs apart, dropping to his knees at the end of the bed, yanking down your underwear, and positioning one of your legs over his shoulder. You shuddered as his hot breath caressed you, and he ran lazy circles along the inside of your thighs with his long fingers.

“Fuck…” He murmured under his breath before looking up at you. “Do you want me to--”

“Stop teasing me Suna,” you groaned, shifting your hips, and he laughed darkly.

“Fine.”

You practically screamed at the first sweep of his tongue, managing to turn your face into a pillow to muffle your noises as he worked around your clit and used his fingers in your core. You bucked your hips up into his face, and his laughter vibrating through your body almost had you coming within the first minute.

You let out a low cry of protest as he pulled away, raising his head to glare at you. His mouth was covered in your juices, his hair rumpled and eyes glassy. He leaned over you, yanking away the pillow you had been using to cover your mouth and throwing it across the room.

“What are you--”

“I want to hear you begging for it,” he snapped, and you managed to roll your eyes before he shoved his fingers back into you.

“You’re so--ah!” You shuddered.

Over the course of a month of fucking each other, Suna had figured out exactly how to make you fall apart under his tongue and fingers, so it didn’t take long for him to work you into an early climax. Your legs shook, and you let out a series of moans as you came all over his mouth.

He got to his feet after making sure he had licked you completely clean, gazing down at you with possessive smugness.

“Why do you look so fucked out already? We’ve barely gotten started.”

You didn’t even argue as you got onto your knees on the bed, hands sliding into his hair as you kissed him angrily, unsaid words erupting. He allowed you to shove him onto the bed, and you focused on unzipping his pants and throwing them aside, ditching your shirt and bra along with it. His boxers went next, and then you had his dick in your hands, stroking it while Suna groaned.

“Here,” he panted, tossing you a condom, and you slid it over his cock just like he taught you. You positioned yourself over him, impatient, your knees on either side of his hips as you thrust yourself down on him in one go. You both moaned at the feeling of finally having him inside you.

“F-fuck,” you gasped, slowly rolling your hips as you rested your hands lightly on Suna’s chest. You went slow, taking the time to feel how deep he reached inside you, the movement on your clit enough to send tingles up the rest of your body.

Suna watched you ride him lazily, his yellow eyes half closed as he took in the way your naked body shifted to move on top of him.

“Ha, you’re doing so good...god--you’re so fucking sexy,” he groaned, and you glared down at him.

“You make me so...mad…” You managed between pants of pleasure, and Suna raised his eyebrows.

“You can still talk? I guess I’m not doing enough…”

Before you could protest, he flipped you over so that you were lying on your back with him hovering over you, his dark hair falling around his face as he gripped your throat lightly.

“You’re such a little cumslut aren’t you?” He murmured in your ear, and you arched slightly. “Don’t you ever try and fuck someone else again, got it? You’re only allowed to come around my cock.”

You moaned in agreement, and Suna rolled you over onto your stomach, dragging your hips up so your ass was high in the air. He gave you no warning as he thrust back in, practically fucking you into the mattress.

Your eyes rolled back in your head as he used his fingers to reach around and rub your clit, his other hand running along your breast. You could barely think through the pleasure, and the only coherent word you were managing to say was his name.

Suna leaned over you, yanking your head back to murmur in your ear. “You’re mine, got it?” His words were rough, and you clenched hard around his cock. You could feel your second orgasm approaching, and he could tell too by the way you shuddered around him. He paused in his motion, and you wiggled your hips in protest, trying to get him going again.

“Why’d you stop?” You snapped, glancing over your shoulder when he didn’t continue.

Suna grinned. “Beg for it, bitch.”

He moved slightly, letting you feel the friction, and you gasped in anger and pleasure. This bastard wanted to tease you, make you submit to him…

Despite knowing this, you broke almost immediately. “Please, Suna, please please, I need you so bad--”

Immediately, he picked up his pace once again, adding more pressure to your clit, and you jerked. “That’s a good girl.”

“Ah, ah, Suna, fuck, I love-- you, ahhh…” You cried, feeling moisture spill down your thighs as your stomach erupted for the second time that night.

For a moment he stilled, and you bit your lip in tired confusion. Did he want you to beg again? You weren’t sure you had another round in you.

You looked over to see him with a shocked expression on his face, but it quickly melted into smugness again once he caught you staring at him. “Of course you love me while I’m fucking you like this,” he growled finally. “It’s because you’re such a slut for it, right?”

Your mouth dropped open, but you didn’t have time to say anything as he started moving once again, making you yelp at the overstimulation. Had you said you loved him? Out loud? Oh my god…

“Have I fucked you stupid already?” he purred in your ear, pulling out of your dripping cunt before slamming back in and picking up his pace. You moaned loudly, thrusting your hips back to meet his as all thoughts flew from your head.

“S-Suna I--” You could barely speak, it felt so good, despite the fact that you had already come. Twice.

He began to pant in your ear, groaning as his grip on your hips tightened.“F-fuck--” He grunted, arms sliding around your waist as he jerked and came.

You both collapsed on the bed, sweaty and exhausted, and Suna easily pulled the condom from his dick before tying it and tossing it in the trash. After a long moment, you rolled to your feet to padded over to where your clothes lay--until you realized that your leggings had a massive rip in them.

“Suna!” You cried, holding up the fabric. He raised his eyebrows, and had the decency to at least look vaguely guilty.

“Sorry.”

“What do I wear?!”

“Here.” He threw the shirt he had been wearing earlier at you, and you gave him a glare.

He had already wiped himself down with the tissues on the counter, and had pulled on his sweatpants once again, leaving him shirtless. His eyes swept lazily down your still naked body, his tongue coming out to wet his lips, and you crossed your arms in annoyance.

“Suna,” You snapped, but finally pulled his shirt over your head, not seeing another option. “I’m going to go get cleaned up,” you said, before heading out the door without waiting for a response.

The bathroom was thankfully right down the hall, and thankfully empty. You didn’t feel very guilty about fucking Suna when you should have been communicating in a healthy way, but you definitely still felt mad.

After you had wiped all the fluids from your inner thighs and core, you headed back to the room to grab the rest of your stuff.

You found Suna on his phone lying on the bed, but he looked up as you came in.

“Where are you going?” He said as you gathered your stuff, and you huffed.

“Back to my dorm.”

“Wait,” he lunged out of the bed and grabbed your arm. “Don’t go.”

“Now you want to spend time with me?”

“Just...stay. Please.”

You swallowed, taking a deep breath. “Fine.”

His expression relaxed into a happy smile, and he dragged you onto the bed with him before flicking out the lights. You weren’t sure what time it was exactly, but you were sure it was far past two in the morning. Your eyelids drooped as Suna wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you back against his chest.

You were right on the edge of sleep when he murmured, “Did you mean it?”

Immediately you were awake; you knew exactly what he meant. “U-um--” You hadn’t worked out any of the problems between you two, and you were sure he didn’t feel the same way. How were you supposed to admit to loving him like this?

“It’s fine,” he finally muttered. “We can talk about it tomorrow.”

You swallowed. “Yes. I did mean it.” Your voice was barely above a whisper, but you felt Suna tense around you.

“Really?”

You closed your eyes, forcing yourself to say it. “Yes... I love you.”

You felt his sigh against your air, ticking the little hair on the back of your neck. His hand slid across your stomach while the other gently began to stroke your hair, and the movement had you relaxing despite the tears that had built up at his lack of response.

You closed your eyes and set it aside; you would deal with it tomorrow. Now, it was time for sleep.

“I love you too.” You heard, so soft that it was almost just a breath of air.

It was probably just a dream.

#suna #suna x reader #suna rintaro x y/n #suna rintarō #haikyuu suna #haikyuu!!#haikyū!!#haikyu x reader #fanfiction #fandom #fanfic #smut

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hawthornewhisperer · 3 years ago

Text

epiphanies

Some DILF!Draco for @ambpersand. Currently 1,500 words and rated T, but I hope to add a second chapter tonight/tomorrow/soon that would be rated M. This will stay tumblr-only until I have that second chapter ready, then I'll put the whole shebang up on Ao3.

Inspired by this incredible fanart by @mignon-chignon and thank you to @bgonemydear for her on-the-spot betaing.

Hermione hadn’t even finished getting dressed when the owl from the Ministry arrived. She scanned the note, swore under her breath, and dashed off a reply. If the Mitford hearing had been moved up, that meant she needed the files and she needed them today.

She had last seen them in Malfoy's briefcase as he went home two days ago, but he'd been out of the office ever since. She hurried up the stairs to her building’s owlery, scribbled a note to Malfoy and returned to her flat, hoping against hope she was wrong.

His return owl arrived when she was halfway through her toast and she groaned under her breath. Mitford files are at my place. I’ll leave them in the Floo Parlor.

That was it, not even his initials as a sign off. “Rude prat,” she grumbled under her breath. Malfoy had been working at the firm with her for the past six months, and while he was no longer the sneering bully she remembered from Hogwarts, he was an exceedingly grumpy arsehole most of the time. Everything he said was clipped and sardonic, and he seemed to have a deathly allergy to saying thank you. She would have hated working with him if he wasn’t so bloody good at his job, which had downgraded her feelings towards him from “loathe completely” to “tolerate grudgingly.”

Hermione always did have a weakness for competence.

She grabbed her blazer and joined the queue in the lobby for the floo, still piling her hair into a bun on the top of her head when she took her turn.

Malfoy’s Floo Parlor was immaculate. It looked like a magazine spread, tastefully decorated and without even a speck of dust. In contrast, her tiny flat looked like a library had exploded in it, largely because one basically had.

But of course Malfoy’s was neat and tidy and...empty. The Mitford files were nowhere to be seen. She let loose a swear that would have made her ex-husband proud and steeled herself to walk into Malfoy’s apartment proper, wishing she had had time for an extra cup of tea if she was going to have to deal with his surly face before nine am.

She pushed open the door to the rest of his flat, ready to snap at him, and froze.

He had his back to her, looking out the expansive window that framed much of London, and the first thing she noticed was he had a very nice back.

A very nice bare back, because he was shirtless. Shirtless and holding a baby.

She knew he had a child, of course. He had one framed photo of the boy on his desk— the only photo of any kind in his entire office, which otherwise resembled a prison cell with a very fancy sofa— but Malfoy did not talk about personal matters at work. All she knew was his name— Scorpius— and that he was approximately Albus Potter’s age.

The little boy shared his father’s blond hair, but there was a soft curl to the ends that must have come from his mother. The Malfoy-Greengrass divorce had been the subject of more than one gossip page article, but Hermione hadn’t read any of them— she didn’t like how exploitative they felt, turning people’s pain into sport for entertainment.

Not that she cared much about Malfoy’s pain, per se, but it was the principle of the thing.

Scorpius’s eyes were red rimmed and his cheeks looked sticky with tears as he eyed her over his father’s shoulder. His father’s exceptionally muscled, well defined, bare shoulder. The boy pawed at his eye with a chubby fist and she watched as Draco pressed a soft kiss to the side of his son’s head, the sort of careless affection she was used to seeing from Harry with his boys but she had never once thought she would see from Malfoy. “It’s okay buddy, I know. It hurts,” she heard him murmur, and she realized she had been staring for entirely too long.

She cleared her throat and he turned with a start. “Fuck, the Mitford files,” he said, the soft look on his face vanishing in an instant.

Hermione felt an odd sort of loss when his familiar cold mask slipped into place, like she had gotten a glimpse of something she would never see again.

Why she wanted to see that look on his face again was a mystery she didn't much feel like solving.

“They’re in my study, hold on,” he added, shifting Scorpius higher on his hip and padding barefoot towards a closed door.

Hermione used his absence to compose herself. She was just thrown by seeing her coworker out of context, that was all.

Out of context and shirtless with an unfairly sculpted chest, plus a pair of joggers slung low across his hips. Did all men have muscles that arrowed down from their hips like that? That was not something she had seen in the flesh before, and it had her flustered.

By the time he returned with the Mitford file, she was thoroughly uncomposed. “You know if you’re going to be off work you really shouldn’t take home client files that can’t be owled,” she snapped.

Anger flashed across his face. “I’ll be sure to have Scorpius schedule his sleep regressions and teething fits with you next time,” he growled.

“It’s nothing to do with him,” she said, doing her best to keep her eyes anywhere but where they wanted to be, which was staring at the play of morning light on the planes of his chest. “These files are supposed to stay at the office for a reason, Malfoy.”

Exhaustion abruptly flooded his features. He pressed his thumb and forefinger into his eyes and Scorpius nuzzled into his neck. “I know,” he said, broad shoulders slumping. “Look, this week has been hell. I didn’t think I would be out this long. I’m sorry,” he added, and quite frankly, she never thought Draco Malfoy would ever apologize to her for anything.

The shock from hearing those two words was the only explanation for what came out of her mouth next. “When was the last time you showered?”

Something that was almost a smile tugged the corner of his mouth up. “I look that bad, huh?”

Actually he looked like a Greek god carved out of marble but she wasn’t about to tell him that. And he did have rather alarming purple shadows under his eyes, plus stubble that indicated it had been several days since he shaved. “You’ve looked better,” she said, reaching out and plucking Scorpius from his arm. “I don’t have to be in for a bit. Go shower.”

He hesitated, but Scorpius was already interestedly pulling at her hair. “Okay,” Malfoy said, something unreadable in his grey eyes. “It’ll only be a minute.”

Hermione stuck her tongue out at Scorpius, who giggled. “Take your time.”

By the time Malfoy emerged from his bedroom, freshly showered and shaved and in jeans and a white v-neck shirt, Hermione and Scorpius were on the living room floor while he clambered all over her like a muggle jungle gym. Scorpius was fascinated by her hair and was sitting next to her while she laid flat on her back, grabbing chubby fistfuls and yanking on it.

“Careful, he’ll skin you bald if you let him,” Malfoy drawled.

She pushed herself up to sitting, at first grateful Draco had put on a shirt and then disappointed as it meant his chest was now hidden from view. But then he crossed his arms and the muscles in his biceps strained against the sleeve of his shirt, and she circled back to grateful again.

“There’s plenty to go around,” she said, gently prying Scorpius’s hand from her hair and retying it into a bun. Draco's gaze rested on her as she did, and an unaccountable blush started crawling up her neck.

“Sorry about earlier,” he said, sitting down on the couch, lifting Scorpius into his lap and bringing the total number of apologies she had ever heard from his lips to two.

She shrugged. “Honestly? You’ve been worse.”

He huffed, a noise that almost sounded like a laugh. “I have been a prat, haven’t I? Between the divorce and Scorpius, I’ve been an arsehole at the office. I’ll try and do better,” he said.

The utter sincerity of his words drew her up short. “Actually, I was talking about Hogwarts but yes, you have been a prat at the office.”

Draco blinked. “Fuck, I— I never apologized for that, did I?”

“You didn’t, but it’s okay,” she said surprising herself. Apologies were nice, but they didn't mean much if the person didn't actually try to improve. She wasn’t sure when, exactly, but at some point in the last six months she had stopped thinking of who Malfoy used to be and accepted that he had changed for the better.

“It’s not, though,” he said. “Again, with the divorce and everything I’ve been— it’s isolating, is all. I'm sorry.”

“Pity there’s no one else in this room who knows what it’s like to go through a divorce,” she said drily.

His eyebrows shot up. “Are you saying I can come to you for tea and sympathy, Granger?”

“I’m saying you don’t have to do this all alone,” she said gently, and stood. “McAvoy will be waiting on the Mitford brief though. I should get going.”

He stood, Scorpius once again snuggling into his chest. “Thanks, Granger. I owe you one,” he said.

Hermione leaned over to place a kiss on Scorpius’s soft curls without even thinking. She could smell Draco’s skin that close, the soap and shampoo from his shower filling her nostrils. “I’ll hold you to that,” she said, and headed towards the Floo Parlor, Mitford files safely in hand.

She only wished she could say the same for her hormones.

#dramione #dramione fic #draco x hermione #single dad!draco #divorced!hermione

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thewildomega · 3 years ago

Text

My kind of Different (Dwalin x Reader)

A/N: A/n : Okay So I have decided to give Dwalin some more love because he deserves it. Also just in case anyone doesn't know Dwalin was born after Samug's claim of Erabor and also he is the last member of the company to die in the books, he dies way after the war of the ring. He lived to the whopping age of 340 which is a long time for a dwarf. Also Look at this cool fanart I found on deviantart, isn’t he so badass looking. The Artist is Mental-Lighton (link included so go check them out.) There is a lot more work as well, I really like the way he captures Saruman as well. Anyway Hope you enjoy. Please like, comment and reblog.

Throwing his knife at the hare he let out a curse under his breath when he missed the shot, the hare taking off in a sprint deeper into the forest. Growling he stood and moved to grab his knife from the ground. Whipping it off on his pants leg he lifted his head to start walking when two bright golden eyes stared directly into his making a small yell escape him and his feet stumble backwards a bit. Panting he looked towards the thing, expecting it to be a monster of some sort but what he saw made his brows dip low before knitting together in confusion. It was a girl, a young girl.

"Whatcha doin'?" you asked the boy as he stared at you.

Continuing to stare he blinked and then rubbed his eyes. He had to be seeing things. There couldn't possibly be a floating girl there. She was just hanging there upside down, looking at him. Moving his hand he indeed saw her still there. She looked to be a few years younger than himself, her face of soft features. Long wavy silver hair that looked to be glowing hung towards the ground from her head and what looked like thin elf ears poked out from the sides of her head a little. Looking closer though he noticed two shinning blue things behind her and he tilted his head, were those wings? "What are ya?"

Turning back right side up you looked the boy over and grinned, "I'ma fairy silly."

Opening and closing his mouth he gave another look at the girl. She still floated a few feet from the ground, her simple white dress hanging on her tiny frame to end at her knees. There were no shoes on her feet but he supposed she wouldn't need them if she coudl fly. Glancing up to her face he saw her still smiling at him and noticed now her sharp canines. Overall he couldn't say she wasn't pretty even if she was weird looking. When she suddenly was right in front of him again, her eyes equal to his he felt a blush heat his cheeks and tried to take another step back but bumped into a tree. Staring in her gold eyes he saw no ill intent there only curiosity.

"So what are you then?" you asked as you eyed the obvious boy. He had thick dark brown hair covering his head and even a ghosting of long sideburns going down to his jaw. His eyes were a bright blue, matching your wings. His nose and ears were a bit big but you liked them, they fit him. His clothes were thick and dark, made of furs and leather. There were a heavy set of boots on his feet as well.

"I'ma dwarf." his voice full of pride.

"I've never met a dwarf before. Do you all look alike?"

Standing still as she floated around him, looking over every part of him but never touching the ground he took a deep breath. "No. What kinda question is that, do all fairies look alike?"

Flying back straight you looked at his face, "No.. well I do have two sisters that look alike."

"Twins." he huffed and saw her nod with a smile. Figuring she wasn't a threat he relaxed a bit and started walking, he was still hungry and it would be getting dark soon. As he walked he glanced beside him to see the girl right beside him.

"So whatcha doin'?"

"Huntin'." Seeing her head tilt at that and her brows knit he rolled his eyes, "Ya know fer food."

"Oh. Whatcha hunting for?"

"Anything that will fill m' belly. Now be quiet or I'll never find anything." he told her and saw her nod. He found it odd that the girl kept following but at the same time he couldn't help but enjoy her presence and couldn't bring himself to tell her off. She didn't say anything else as he walked quietly through the forest, the both of them just looking around. When he heard the small noise of rustling leaves he looked around and stilled when he spotted another hare. The thing had yet to notice him as it hopped along and he slowly took out his knife.

Looking at the small animal you smiled largely, it was so cute. As it hopped along you even spotted a few smaller ones following close behind her. Seeing movement out of the corner of your eye you turned to he dwarf but when you noticed him holding a knife you furrowed your brows, your smile falling from your face. What was he doing? As his arm moved back behind his head you snapped your eyes between him and the mother hare, your heart hammering in your chest.

As soon as he went to throw the knife the girl yelled out 'No!' making him startle and the hare hurry under ground. Growling he gripped his knife in his hand and snapped his eyes up to the girl. "What the hell ya do that fer?!"he growled.

Shirking up some as he yelled you looked up to his angry face and furrowed your brows. "You were gonna kill it?"

"That was the plan aye!"

"B..but why?" you asked in a soft voice.

"Ta eat it, why the hell else?"

"You eat them?" you spoke in a whisper, talking mostly to yourself. Looking back to the hole the hare had went into. "But if you were to kill her then her babies would die, there wouldn't be anything to take care of them."

Letting out a huff he rubbed his face, he hadn't seen the little ones behind it until it had ran but still the painful clenching in his stomach made it hard for him to feel pity. Looking to the girl he just now noticed she was no longer flying and that she was now standing on the forest floor in front of him. Now that she was on her feet he noticed how small she actually was, coming up to only his chin. There was no longer a smile on her face and he couldn't help but feel bad as he noticed her looking sadly towards the hare hole. Sighing he put his knife back up "Well it got away so 'er lil ones will be fine... unlike me if I don't find some food." he said grumbling the last part.

Hearing this you tilted your head and looked up to the dwarf. "You're hungry?"

"Was the whole point of huntin'." he said like it should have been obvious.

Humming you looked around before quickly flying away.

Seeing the girl fly away without a word he knit his brows. After standing there for a few minutes he gave a grunt and started walking again. Thinking over the whole ordeal he shook his head, "Weird girl." Looking up to the sky he saw the sun going down, he would have to head back to the settlement now. Walking on for a bit he felt something to his left and looked to see her back beside him, smiling brightly.

"Here you go."

Glancing down to her hands he saw she had them full of blackberries. Raising a brow he looked back to her and saw her just smiling. Sighing he reached out to take one and popped it into his mouth. It wasn't the meat he was craving but he had to admit they were good. She continued flying beside him as he walked back towards his people, holding the berries as he ate them but never once eating one herself. "Don't you want any?" he asked but saw her shake her head. As the lights from the tents came into view through the trees he went to speak to her but a harsh breeze stopped him.

Hearing the deep, angry voice calling through the wind you curled up some and then looked to the dwarf. "I have to go now."

Hearing the sadness in her voice he knit his brows and watched as she dumped the berries into his hand, noticing how small her hands were in comparison to his. Meeting her eyes once more he felt this strong pull in his chest and saw her grin at him before another sharp wind cut through the trees and she looked down, her shoulders curling in on her small frame.

"Goodbye." was all you said before you took off towards home.

Watching the girl turn into a small dot of light and shoot across the sky he blinked. Glancing down to the berries he ate another as he moved towards his parents tent.

"There he is."

Hearing his father's voice he looked up and saw both his mother and father looking at him.

"We were about to go looking for you." Balin said with a grin. Looking down to his little brother's hands he saw the berries and chuckled. "No luck on the hunt then?'

Shaking his head he felt as his mother rubbed his head.

"Next time you'll get something for sure. Don't worry darling one day you will be just as good of a hunter as your father." she spoke, looking to her husband with a gentle smile.

Seeing his parents walk away he saw as Balin came over to him and took one of the berries. "Where'd ya find the berries?"

"A girl gave them to me."

"A girl huh?" Balin asked with a chuckle. "What girl?"

"One in the forest. Sh..she said she was a..." he said and then trailed off.

Tilting his head Balin looked to his little brother and furrowed his brows. "Well.."

"Balin have ya ever seen fairy?"

"A fairy?" Balin laughed. "No lad. Fairies are nothing more than legend.... wait is that..."

" 'ey you two, 'ow about some help out here?" Fundin called.

Hearing their father call them the brothers looked to each other before going to help their father.

.............................

Swinging the hammer down on the glowing steel he felt sweat roll down his face but couldn't take the time to wipe it away. Dipping the metal into the water barrel he heard it hiss and watched steam erupt from the surface. Once he had it cooled he lifted it up to inspect his work. Seeing no faults he dropped the horse shoe down to the pile. Letting out a sigh he finally placed down his tongs before whipping his face with the damp rag. At least with the heavy rain it wasn't very hot and the insects were leaving him be. Glancing to the clock he saw it was well past five in the afternoon, past quitting time. Still he had much to do. Going to grab the next piece of metal to start work he startled a bit when a voice spoke from behind him.

"Hello again."

Snapping around he saw a young woman sitting on his workbench, her bare legs and feet dangling down and swinging slightly. "And just who are..." Seeing her smile at him he trailed off, his eyes taking her in. Long silver hair, golden eyes... blue wings... It was her. It had been years since he had seen her, since that day in the forest. She was older now, like him, but she was still beautiful. "You." he finally spoke.

"Whatcha doin'?" you asked looking to the strange object in his hand, long metal thing.

"Where did ya come from? How'd ya get in 'ere?" he questioned her.

"The window." you smiled.

Seeing the slightly parted window he looked back to her and noticed she was soaked, her short white dress and hair dripping. Licking his lips he took a deep breath when he saw how the thin fabric was clinging to her body. "Yer all wet."

Glancing down you gave a giggle and then looked to him. "Yea." Tilting your head you looked the boy...no man now, over. In human years you both would now be considered young adults and it showed. His hair was a bit longer now and bushier along with the hair on his face and chin. He was taller, wider, you could tell thick muscles made up his frame. He was only wearing an olive green tunic that was damp with sweat and a pair of brown trousers along with his heavy boots. You wondered how he walked in those things.

Moving a bit closer to her he placed down the tongs. As his eyes roamed over her body some he felt a blush heat up his face, there was just so much skin showing. Quickly turning away he moved to grab his cloak from the hook by the door. Carrying it back over to her he pushed the thing into her hands. " 'ere' cover yerself up."

A little puzzled you tilted your head but then grinned and took the cloak he was offering. Flattening your wings you wrapped the thick cloak around your shoulders and grinned up at him.

Seeing her small body wrapped in his cloak made this strange feeling bubble in his stomach and chest, gas maybe? Shaking his head he grabbed his stool and sat down on it in front of her. " 'ow did ya find me?"

"Well I wanted to see you again and so I just went in the direction it told me to go."

"What told ya?"

"My heart." you smiled.

Stiffening he felt that blush creeping up to his ears.

"I wanted to come find you sooner but I... well I couldn't." you spoke looking down and frowning a bit before shaking your head and looking back to the dwarf male. "But I'm here now."

Trying to process the whole situation he watched as she hopped down from the bench and started walking about the forge, looking over this and that. There were so many questions he wanted to ask her but he couldn't think of which one to ask first. Anytime he had ever mentioned the fairy lass in the forest before everyone had always laughed at him, asked him if he had fallen and hit his head. Fairies weren't supposed to be real. "Stuff of legend" Balin always told him. "Children's story characters" Thorin told him. She was real though, he was sure he hadn't bumped his head and he hadn't drank anything. She was standing right in front of him. Maybe he had eaten something bad? No. No.

"What is this place called?" you asked, looking to all the tools and such. You had seen them before when you would sneak out but you didn't know the name.

She had spoken, asked him a question. Clearing his throat he looked to see her standing in front of the coal pit. "A forge. There aren't any where yer from?"

Humming you tilted your head. "One I think but I've never seen anyone there." Reaching out you poked one of the chains hanging down.

"An' where exactly are ya from?"

"Galilee."

"Never 'eard of it."

"It's in a different realm than this one, hidden from all but fairy folk."

Humming he watched her continue inspecting things. When she reached out to touch one of the iron horse shoes he heard her let out a hiss and watched her fall backwards to the floor. Quickly standing he hurried around the bench to see her holding her hand to her chest, her face contorted into one of pain. Kneeling down in front of her he furrowed his brows, "What's wrong?"

"I...iron..."

Gently taking her hand he pulled it out to look at it and saw she indeed had what looked to be a burn to the tips of her middle and forefinger. Blinking he felt a strange clenching in his chest and helped her up. Taking her back to his stool he sat her down on it and moved to get some of the burn salve. Crouching down before her he dabbed a bit onto her fingers and gently rubbed it in.

As he finished up you grinned softly and looked down when his blue eyes met yours "Thank you."

Starring up into her golden eyes he felt his heart thump a little heavier in his chest. "What's yer name lass?"

Smiling softly you felt that wonderful hum in your chest before you spoke. "Y/n."

He couldn't help the pull of his lips as he received her name. Standing he gave a bow, "Dwalin at yer service."

Giggling lightly you shared a grin as he rose to look at you again. Hearing the chime of a bell you startled and snapped your eyes over to the door to see another male come inside.

"Ya about done lad? It's gettin' late."

Turning around he saw his brother there, pushing off the hood of his soaked cloak. As soon as his brother looked up he saw shock come over his face at seeing the female inside, sitting on his bench, wrapped in his cloak. As his eyes turned to look at him, that older brother look of curiosity and disapproval he swallowed.

"Hello." you spoke to the new male.

"Uhm h.. hello there lassie." Balin spoke. "I haven't seen you around here before, tell me are ya here fer business reasons."

"No, I just came here to see Dwalin." you spoke.

His name sounded so lovely coming from her lips.

"Is that right?" Balin asked with raised brows, looking to his brother for answers.

Clearing his throat Dwalin looked between the two. "Y/n this is my brother Balin. Brother, this is Y/n."

"Your brother?" you asked with a smile. Looking to the older male you hopped off the bench and moved over to him. "It's so nice to meet you."

Chuckling lightly Balin gave a bow. "The pleasure is mine dearie." Looking to his little brother he gave him a look, "Brother a word."

Sighing he nodded, "Aye." looking to Y/n he saw her give him that sweet smile that seemed to be ever present on her face.

Watching as Dwalin and his brother stepped into the room next to this one you grinned and looked down to the cloak. Dipping your head to smell at it you sighed at the scent of the dwarf male on it. A sudden strike of lightning made you gasp, your eyes snapping to the window. As a loud booming thunder followed you curled up and dipped your head, your fingers curling into the cloak for a moment. Glancing back to the room Dwalin had went into you frowned. You wanted to say goodbye but you didn't want to interrupt his conversation with his brother. Another loud thunder made you tense and you bit your lip as you removed his cloak and hung it back on the hook that he had gotten it from. With one last glance towards his direction you shrunk down and flew out the open window.

Growling he turned and walked back out to the forge, "Y/n, lass will ya please tell my brother what ya... are..." Seeing the room empty he knit his brows. Snapping his eyes around he tried to spot her but she was gone, his cloak hanging back on the hook. Dropping his shoulders he felt a small pull in his chest and heard Balin sigh from behind him.

"Ya know I think ya are gettin' too old ta believe in fairies lad."

.............................

Sitting by the camp fire he turned the meat he was cooking before looking back down to his ax to continue sharpening the blade on it. A faint glow from beside him made him turn his head, his hand gripping his weapon. Seeing nothing he knit his brows and listened but couldn't hear anything. Sighing he turned back to the fire.

"Hi Dwalin."

The sudden voice from beside him made him about fall over. Snapping his eyes to the source he saw the face that had been in his dreams since the last time they had met. "Ya know I think you enjoy scaring the bajeebeeze out of me lass." he spoke and heard her giggle. Sitting back straight he turned more towards her to look her over fully. She was now a little older since they had last saw each other, looking to be around what a human would consider early twenties or so. It had to have been close to twenty years since she had showed up in the forge he was working in. He would be lying if he said he hadn't missed her, even if everyone else said he was crazy and that his fairy lass didn't exist.

"Are you out here all by yourself?" you asked, looking around and seeing no one else here.

Humming he nodded. "Aye lass, on a scouting mission." Her hair was longer now, going to her waist in long sliver waves that seemed to glow like liquid silver itself. Her eyes themselves were like pools of molten gold as she looked to him. Licking his lips he took a breath, "Why'd ya leave last time like that?" he asked, wondering if it was something he did.

"I had to, my father... well he called for me."

"Yer father." seeing her nod and look down he said no more. Looking to the fire he moved to check his meat. Finding it done he removed it from the heat and set it aside to cool some. Noticing her looking it over oddly he rose a brow. "Ya act as though ya've never seen venison before."

"Venison? What's that?"

Freezing he looked to her and then shook his head slightly, "Yer kidding?" When she only continued looking to him he sighed. "What is it ya eat lass?"

"I like fruits and vegetables, fish... um....oh I sometimes sneak tarts when no one is looking." you smiled.

"So you've never had meat before?" he asked and saw her shake her head. Scoffing he grabbed his knife and the skewer of meat. Slicing strips of it he placed it on the wooden plate he had until it was all off. Holding the one fork he had out for her to take he watched her small hand timidly take it. Using his knife to lift his own piece he saw her watching him but not take one herself. "Well go on."

Seeing him start eating his own piece you looked down to the plate and poked one of the strips. Lifting it up you looked it over, smelling of it before you hesitantly took a bite.

Watching her as she ate the meat he saw as she seemed to think it over as she chewed. When she swallowed he rose his brows. "Well?"

"It's good." you grinned.

Chuckling he pushed the plate between them both and nodded down to it, silently telling her to take more. They both ate in a comfortable silence for a while, she didn't eat no where near as much as he did but still she seemed to enjoy it and he secretly enjoyed being able to feed her.

"How is your brother, Balin?"

He was surprised that she remembered his brother and grinned. "He's good lass. Do you have any siblings?"

"Yes, I had twelve sisters and seventeen brothers."

His eyes went wide at that, thirty, thirty children. How the hell does one have that many children. "So are you the oldest or youngest or..."

"No I'm somewhere in the middle. Balin is your older brother?"

Nodding he saw her grin.

"Are you and your brother close?" you asked, crossing your legs under you and looking up to him.

"Aye. Aren't you close with your siblins'?" he asked but saw her lip twitch, her eyes looking down before she shook her head.

"Not really, I...well I've always been d...different."

Seeing how this saddened her he furrowed his brows and felt a small clenching in his heart. When a breeze came he saw her give a shiver and looked to her thin, short white dress. The thing hung on her shoulders by only thin straps and ended at her knees. "Don't ya 'ave any more clothes other than that measly thing?"

Looking down you tilted your head. "No not really." you giggled.

Huffing he took his cloak off and went to wrap it around her shoulders but looked to her blue wings that were standing upwards behind her. They were the most bright shade of blue, slightly see through and shiny in the light of the fire. He didn't realize he was staring until she gave a small flap of them. Clearing his throat he saw her laying them flat and wrapped his cloak around her.

You gave a hum as the warmth of his cloak enveloped you. "Your clothes must keep you very warm." you said eyeing his fur and leather. Looking up to his face you smiled, "Well that and your hair. I like the way you have it now." you spoke, admiring the way he had it cut into a mohawk. Looking to the hair coming out of his chin and along his jaw you tilted your head a bit and lifted your hand. "Do all dwarves grow hair out their face as well?"

He felt his cheeks flush at her complimenting his hair but when her small hand flited and she touched his beard he froze. Her touch was extremely gentle, so much in fact he could barely fee it but still he acted before he coudl think. Grabbing her wrist he shoved her hand away from him. "What in Durin's name ya doin'?"

Gasping at his sudden deep voice and being rough actions you looked up at him in shock. "I..."

"Ya don't just touch a dwarf's beard like that?! Mahal. Don't ya know anythin'?"

Feeling your heart hammering against your ribs you and your eye filling with tears you looked to his angry face and felt a sharp pain in your chest. "I..I'm sorry...I...didn't..." Looking down you felt your lip tremble. "I'm sorry." was the last thing you said before you quickly shrunk down and flew away as fast as you could, not wanting to embarrass yourself further.

Hearing her quiet whisper he furrowed his brows as her frame curled inward. Before he coudl speak a word however she was gone in a tiny ball of light. "No. Y/n wait...." He tried calling but she didn't come back. Growling he rubbed his face, "Fer fuck's sake. Way ta go ya jacksie." he grumbled. Glancing down to his cloak he lifted it from the bedroll they had been siting on and looked at it for a moment before bringing it to his nose. Inhaling he smelt just the faintest small of her sweet scent and sighed.

...........................

Letting out a long sigh you blinked and looked over the water's surface. Hearing the laughter of some of your sisters you glanced their way, seeing them all siting in the field of flowers. From the looks of it they were busy doing each other's hair, working their sleek colorful locks into intricate styles. Your lip twitched as you for a fleeting moment thought about going over to them before you remembered the last time. It had taken you a weeks to get all the moss and sap out of your hair. Looking down you rubbed your arm. Your brothers offered no better company, leaving you bruised and sore from their rough treatment. Closing your eyes you snapped them open at the sound of the horn, banquet time. Standing you flew to the entrance and landed on the small platform. Going to walk in you were caught by a rough yank of your upper arm, from the pain of the hand holding you, you knew bruises would be there later. Glancing up you saw your father there and shrunk up as his loathsome eyes stared down at you.

"Do try not to humiliate me or the rest of the family any more than you already do tonight." he spoke in a low voice so not to bring attention.

Swallowing thickly you kept your eyes down so not to show the hurt his words had caused as you nodded. "Yes father." All that was heard was a huff from him as he walked away, the cough that had been bothering him for a while sparking up. Not a few moments later you heard the applause and took a deep breath before entering the hall. Getting to your normal seat at the far end of the table you stopped and looked to your stool to see a different one there, one that matched the others. Knitting your brows you heard your siblings chuckling and giggling.

"Y/n take your seat so the feast can begin." you mother spoke in a hiss.

Licking your lips you moved to the new stool and sat in it, the table now coming up to your shoulders. Hearing a few snickers from the other fairies you stifled your trembling lip.

"Such a tiny little thing she is isn't she?"

"And such a strange coloring she has."

"Yes, there was never any reason we coudl come to, the rest of our children are all perfectly normal."

"Hmmm how peculiar."

"I'm sure it was nothing either of you did, she was probably just defective from the beginning."

"Yes sometimes I find myself wondering if we should have just shown her mercy. After all she is doomed to a lone existence anyway, not having a bonded."

You could listen to no more of their whispers, choosing instead to stare at your plate as it was set in front of you. Fish again. What you wouldn't give for more of that meat Dwalin had shared with you. Sighing you lifted your fork and started poking at your food.

After dinner everyone broke off into conversation, your siblings finding their bonded to be close with. Looking across the hall you couldn't help the clenching in your heart as you took in all the couples here and there. Even your youngest siblings had their destined one's by their sides to play and talk with. It was times like these when you thought of your dwarf the most. You wondered if he thought of you as well? Did you ever cross his mind? You hadn't seen him since that night when you had made the mistake of touching his beard as he called it. How you had hated yourself after that, realizing how you had offended him so. You hoped he knew how truly sorry you were, you never meant to do something he didn't like and you hoped he would forgive you. On multiple occasions now you wanted to go see him again and give formal apology but you were to afraid to do it. Too afraid of his dismissal.

Deciding to go out onto the balcony you moved into the corner where no one was and stared up at the night sky. Sometimes you wished you could fly way up there with the stars. A sudden sharp pain in your chest made you stiffen and your brows furrow. When it didn't go away you blinked. "Dwalin?" you spoke in a soft voice. Something was wrong. Without another moments thought you flew from the balcony and off into the sky as fast as your wings would take you.

Arriving on the battle field you furrowed your brows and panted as you looked around. Staying in your tiny form you gasped when a horrid looking creature swung his sword by you. Dodging the blade you saw as a male came running up to cut down the foe. Yells of anger and pain filled the air and a pungent odor filed your nose. Your heart hammered in your chest as you spun around, where was he? Where was your dwarf? Seeing some from both sides laying unmoving on the ground as well as those who were covered in blood you felt true fear fill you. As you flew around the area looking for Dwalin you sent a silent plea to the Gods to keep him safe.

You almost flew past him, hearing a familiar voice you stopped and looked around. When you did spot him you felt ice fill your veins. He was in the middle of a battel with one of the monsters but he was hurt. Blood was spilling from his right shoulder and he also looked to be limping. Seeing another coming up from behind him you took a deep breath and flew down. Growing in size you grabbed one of the weapons from the ground and moved to attack the thing.

Hearing a female grunt he looked over his shoulder and felt his eyes go wide. "Y/n?" Blocking the orc's sword he swung his second ax and cut the thing's leg, sending it to it's knee. When he heard her cry out he looked to see the thing had knocked her to the ground and was holding it's spear above her ready to strike. Roaring out he cut the head from the one he had been fighting before hurrying to her defense and doing the same. Staring down at her he saw her looking up at him with those gold eyes. "What the hell ya doin' ere'?!" he yelled but then snapped his mouth shut when he saw her shoulders curl up some. Taking a deep breath he went to speak in a more softer voice but a broken yell cut him off and he grit his teeth when he felt a intense pain to his side. Fighting with the orc he growled and pushed through the pain until he had finished off that scum as well.

Seeing him panting you quickly hurried to his side when he leaned against the bolder, his hand on his side. "Dwalin..." Seeing blood on his clothes you knit your brows, "You're hurt."

" 'm fine lass." he told her.

Watching as his body started to slump to the ground you tried to hold him up as much as you could, "No. You're not."

"Just need ta sit fer a sec'n."

Helping to ease him down you looked over his blood and filth covered body, your heart beating like a drum.

"Ya need ta get away from this lass, war ain't no place fer an angel like ya." he told her. Any other time he wouldn't be able to say such things but right now he would blame it on the blood loss.

Looking up to his face you licked your lips and stared into his lidded eyes. Seeing how pale he was going you looked down to his wounds again and knew you had to do something soon or he would die. "Dwalin..." Seeing his eyes now closed you took a deep breath and pushed your lips to his. You wanted to cup his bearded cheek but only tightened your hands by your sides, knowing he wouldn't want you to touch it. Closing your own eyes at the feel of his lips under yours you focused on making your magic flow into him.

He had been so tired and he thought he had fallen asleep but there was this strange tingling on his lips that spread all over his body. As his body grew more aware he opened his eyes just barely and then he was sure he had fallen asleep and he dreaming because she was kissing him, his fairy lass. Raising his hand the tips of his fingers just did brush her silky silver hair before he heard his name being called.

Hearing someone calling his name you pulled away and saw his lidded blue eyes looking at you. Glancing to the field you saw figures walking towards the both of you. You recognized one of them as his brother Balin but there were others you hadn't seen before. Still you knew they would take care of him, that he would be safe. Feeling weak yourself you looked back to Dwalin and saw him still just watching you. His wounds were no longer bleeding and his color was a little better.

Seeing her smile at him before she was gone in a tiny ball of light he licked his lips that were still tingling. Had it been real? Had she... kissed him?

"Dwalin! Brother!"

"He's injured, let's get him back to camp."

........................

Getting back to your room you just did make it to your bed before your wings gave out. Not a moment later did the door slam open.

"So you decided to return. I know you went to Middle Earth again, father does as well..."

"Y/N!"

"Oh look and here he comes now."

Panting you tugged the covers up over you and closed your eyes. Your punishment would no doubt be as sever as the ones before but you could care less, the feeling of Dwalin's lips still on yours making it all worth it. As you heard your father enter your room the small grin remained on your face.

#dwalin x reader #the hobbit fanfiction #Dwalin hobbit #dwalin x oc #Young Dwalin

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phoenotopia · 4 years ago

Text

The Last Phoenotopia Blog Update

(Date 2021 MAR 01)

I debated how to open this blog post, but perhaps the main crux of this blog post is the best place to start. The blog is being retired.

The purpose of this blog was to be a "development" blog for Phoenotopia, and well, Phoenotopia's development is done. I'll still be doing bug fixes and maintenance on the PC and Switch versions, and playstation and xbox ports are underway (by a publisher). But I'm not going to be making any more major changes to the game. At some point, you put the paintbrush down and say it's done. Blemishes and all.

Recent Events

The game launched on Steam last month, and like any launch, it was hectic. Bugs Galore. This is our first commercial PC launch, so it was a real baptism by fire. Unlike Switch's one configuration, the PC has multiple configurations and factors to account for. The game needed to be able to handle multiple control schemes, screen resolutions, refresh rates, and more! I had a 60Hz monitor going into launch and didn't know anything about Hz (I do now). There was a troublesome stutter that some players were sensitive to that my whole team didn't notice since our eyes compensated it away. There were a few times where in fixing something at one party's behest, it introduced problems for another party. A few times, due to disorganization, I unwittingly rolled back a fix that was meant to be applied. For some, the game couldn't play at all (really glad Steam allows refunds).

It was messy. It was tiring. I.AM.BEAT.

I think the worst of it is over... I'll still be around to do the last updates and bug fixes, but I'm ultimately ready for what's next.

SO what is next?

What isn't next... is Phoenotopia 2. As you may have heard down the grapevine, the game couldn't be what you call successful. No one's earned even minimum wage on it.

Maybe there's hope in the game's long tail. A year or two down the line... maybe. I won't hold my breath though. At some point in the past few months, I finished processing (or grieving) and it's time to move on.

The game has at least earned enough for us to continue our modest operations. As long as we don't expand the team, and we don't take another monster six-year dev cycle like what Phoenotopia took, we can continue. We'll have to be smarter and faster. Perhaps the most valuable thing we gained from all this is experience.

The Experience

It is a dev blog. Here are some of the lessons I've accumulated from this game's development.

- Have a good menu design. Menus aren't just that in-between fluff before you get to the good stuff. Menus are KEY. Your menus need to be robust, expandable, and *understandable* (to you, the developer). Because once the game's out, you will invariably be asked to add more options. And if your menu design is bad, every time you have to add a new menu option, it becomes a whole new pain all over again. Support mouse from the get-go, etc.

- Focus on features that people will actually care about. For instance, I've never seen anyone praise the camera's zoom feature. In practice, people try that feature a few times and then never use it again. But that feature was a constant consideration factor for every level. Run through it multiple times to make sure the level didn't break, think about which zoom levels made sense, resize rooms because they worked at one zoom level but not the other, and so on.

- Don't do boxes that you can move around. Other 2D platformers avoid movable boxes because they're a huge headache to program and they really complicate the game space. Enemies need to respond to boxes you throw in their path and either navigate around or attack it. When you're moving the box, you have to worry about constantly changing your collision size and reconciling when the box gets snagged on the environment. The boxes were also a constant source of bugs because people can manipulate them to soft-lock themselves and more.

- More focused script. Phoenotopia's 100,000+ word script was panned more for being bloated than it was praised for being lengthy. Long scripts take a long time to write and make the game more unwieldy, increasing the costs of translation and upkeep. Every update we're addressing some textual error or mistranslation. There are some highly renowned games (e.g. Hyper Light Drifter) that do without a script at all!

- Be flashy! A bat and a lightsaber take the same amount of work to program, but the lightsaber will draw a lot more attention and interest.

- Slopes, surprisingly! Six years ago when I started, Unity was ill-equipped for 2D games. If you used the physics that Unity provided you'd have a really floaty character that wouldn't adhere to the slope when going downhill. There were a hundred different tutorials saying different things (use forces, use move position, use translation, etc). You can get rectangular collisions done in a day, but to do slopes took weeks. Meanwhile, games can actually get by fine without slopes. Most people won't even notice. Did you know the Phoenotopia flash game didn't have slopes? Neither does Hollow Knight or Rogue Legacy. You can save yourself a lot of work by avoiding slopes.

(big entities look weird on slopes. Bad slope!)

I could write enough little knowledge nuggets like this to fill a book! But I'd rather just make the next game.

So… what IS next?

As mentioned previously, it's not Phoenotopia 2. Pirate and I are mostly just tossing some ideas back and forth right now. We'll go silent for a year (or two). Our next game's scope will be more modest in some ways, more ambitious in others. It will definitely be more smartly designed. (There will be a map!)

We'll announce it when it's ready for the public. It might be necessary for us to do a kickstarter. I've tried to avoid kickstarters having been burnt on quite a few myself and also because I worry that mismanaging a kickstarter would earn the ire of backers.

But I did keep this blog regularly updated for six years. So I've gained some confidence in my abilities to at least manage a kickstarter well.

Is it really the last Phoenotopia Blog update though?

Okay, not really. There is some news that I'll need to announce, and this blog is one of the game's main outreach channels. Here are the events that will cause me to update the blog:

Announcing the launch of the xbox/playstation ports when they're ready

If a physical edition of the game happens

If a new language is getting introduced into the game (Korean is a high possibility)

When we're ready to talk about our next game

If (BIG IF) we begin development on a Phoenotopia sequel. I do want to do a sequel one day if we have the means and the demand is there.

Those updates will be more on a "when they happen" basis, rather than me reporting in every couple months.

Fan Art

As always, I'm very happy to see fanart of Phoenotopia. Major thanks again to Pimez for collecting all the artwork from the corners of the internet! Since this is the "last" blogpost, Sir Pimez can finally take a rest from collecting the fanart :P

ÆV made a series of pictures that tell a story. A Pooki is humanely sheared of its wool to create a hat. The Pooki is unharmed. Nice! Gotta love Gail’s expressions.

Amagoo Mazeru makes a stunning landscape shot of a full moon and shooting stars. It’s a sharp and clear vector art. I like the faint glow of the moon and the fire and the subtle gradient in the night sky. Very skillfully done!

Hah hah. I got a chuckle out of this one. I imagine this is how Gail's enemies see her by the end of the game. CaESar made this image based on TerminalMontage's famous youtube videos. Nailed it!

CrownStar drew two pictures of Gail. I'm a big player of JRPGs, so the first shot instantly reminded me of Persona 4's art style. (Hmmm... Phoeonotopia as a JRPG... there’s potential there...) Next, Birdy is shown carried off after her defeat. I really like Birdy's expression here - she just seems mildly uncomfortable.

There's a bit of a story behind the first image. As Firanka shares it, she wasn't able to defeat the Big Eye monster at the end of the flash game, so she believed a tall tale that what awaited after was a 6 armed Kobold boss. Hilarious! The second is a rendition of the lonely Anuri elder. A rare subject. The loneliness is portrayed well here. I feel lonely just looking at it!

Koo_chop draws the clash between Gail and Katash at the top of the towers. I really like this interpretation of the game's art style. It’s faithful to the in-game graphics. And the lighting, from the glow of Gail's bat, to Katash's sword, and the lightning in the background... Amazing!

Lime Hazard shows Gail with a salute pose. Very appropriate for this occasion. I also like how there's a slight tilt in the angle that Gail is portrayed. Those dynamic angles are always hard to get right, and Lime Hazard pulled it off very skillfully. See you next mission!

Lyoung0J with a digital painting of Gail posed sitting on a rock. I like how it almost seems like she was caught in a candid moment - she’s smiling, but also feeling self-conscious. Cute! The art style really pops, and I like how Gail is sporting what I call the old anime style nose.

MyUesrNameIsSh*t with a sketch of Gail performing a skillful slingshot. I like how Gail is depicted with her tongue out in a mischievous manner, the way all mischievous people with slingshots do.

Niitsu Kentaro returns with a 2021 Happy New Year picture. That happened didn't it? A New Year... Gail's pose gave me a chuckle with how she seems to be waving the bat around as casually as one would wave hello. And "Phoenotopiyear"... Well said! One day we'll have our Phoenotopiyear...

Ochan Nu breaks all records with a stunning NINE pictures in one session :O

There's so many goodies here. My favorite would be the one with Gail staring intently at the screen - it's like she's looking directly at you. You almost feel uncomfortable.

Next, there's an Animal Crossing villager dressed as Gail and sporting her pink hair. It even looks like a house Gail would live in. Gail is a connoisseur of the arts and likes Mona Lisa. Yes :)

There are various comics of Gail pointing out Gail's weird food habits. A picture of Fran looking really cool, and even Gail rocking a bathing suit. (bathing suit image linked here in case NSFW). Wow!

Pimez didn't just collect the arts, he creates them as well! This one, which he aptly named 'The Year 175' is a depiction of when the dragons invaded the towers as told by an elderly Daean woman. Great pixeling skills! I got a good chuckle from the ice dragon leaving with its stuff slung over its shoulder.

Quo made a stunning picture of Gail playing the flute surrounded by the 5 musical notes and the Phoenix logo behind her. The theme seems to be "fire" and it works really well. Gail herself looks awesome depicted in her red suit - it's like she's leading a marching band!

Rai Asuha depicts Gail in the late game with her red suit, and night star bat, and holding a lamp. She looks ready for adventure! I really like the white outline here and Gail's poofy shoulders here - the art style feels reminiscent of Final Fantasy Tactics.

Seri also draws Gail bearing her late game equipment. Unique to Seri's drawing is how all of Gail's equipment is accessible from a pocket on her shirt. I also like how Gail is depicted with her lucky earrings - that accessory is often forgotten.

Treedude depicts Gail with a bat and wearing a funny smirk. She looks like she's ready to hurt someone!

Warotar returns with everyone's favorite Great Drake, Bubbles! It seems so happy to be featured!

I'm really grateful for all the fanart this game has received. From the bottom of my heart, thank you!

Closing Notes

Pirate drew a picture to mark the occasion. It shows Gail enjoying a hot chocolate with marshmallows and a pumpkin muffin. A rest well-earned...

Goodbye! Until next time!

#phoenotopia

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fandom-sheep · 3 years ago

Text

Eret 11 MAY 21

Cat and DSMP Part 1/1

Cat! Goose!

Goose my beloved.

Eret’s streaming very late for me again. So I’m not staying the whole time.

Hello Elaina. Enjoy Goose.

Fundy! Kinda...

Fundy hearing the donations. LOL.

Fundy enters a stream and it starts to scuffed. Scuffed just follows Fundy wherever he goes.

A wild my beloved on the cube.

The Drista stairs.

Wait what. Why is the tower gone?

I have missed some lore.

Ah... it’s part of the nightmare thing.

Eret offering Fundy housing like a good almost adoptive parent.

Sneeze? OH WOW SNEEZE.

Sounds like Fundy about lost a lung. Good gracious.

The bargaining between these two.

Cat, Handsome, said cube was massive

You know what that works.

It’s hard to keep the audio right for Eret’s stream for my headphones. It’s either too quiet or the loudest my headphones can go and my family can hear it.

On stream explosions. Noice.

Wow youtooz. Not super cool. Permission is usually a good thing.

Eret keeps on sizzling.

Getting dirt for scaffolding. Going old fashioned Minecraft for this.

“Why is the Cube kinda hot” cue Eret losing faith in her chats sanity.

Cube go poof.

Oh. Red stone. That’s dangerous.

I like this song. Oh klahoma. Gorgeous song.

Love joy is such a fun band. I want to make a plushy of the cat.

It’s kinda sad that Eret can’t see themselves the way chat and their little fandom sees them. Most all of us think they look fabulous.

Not Arson. Just bombing. A bit of anarchy by the king.

Demolition. Now there’s the word.

Controlled ish demolition.

Ah I’ve almost saved enough channel points for water. Nice. I’m not going to redeem it I’m just going to keep hoarding the points.

Flame Arrow. Nice.

Eret cleaning up the SMP eye sours.

Watch me attempt to sleep to Eret here in an hour or so, but keep getting distracted.

Explosion time.

Someone get ready to clip it.

Bye Bye Cube. Let’s go.

Gotta get a song that fits the vibe.

Hayloft. Time to go poof.

Turning up my brightness just to watch this explosion in the best way possible.

Still wearing the red dress I see.

I hope the music isn’t too loud to get this part muted.

Drum roll...

Drum roll continues...

Drum roll still going...

THERE GOES THE CUBE!

That was so smooth and good looking!

Overall a very good explosion.

Just a little bit of a hole in the other building.

Twitch Pr-

Poor being’s so confused with his hair. Someone help them.

Twitch bleep.

Everyone attempting to give hair styling advice. Everyone’s trying to help the being.

That bird is majestic. I remember seeing that tiktok.

Animals just decided Eret was the animal whisperer.

Yes! Disney Princess Eret fanart! Someone make it, I shall reblog all of it.

Likes to hug cute animals and cute animals like being hugged by her. Nice.

It’s alright. Names are difficult. I have to like put name tags on people to learn who they are. That or name tags on their space (like on campers bunks and door decs on dorms)

It does feel very February. But I’m very ready for summer because that means I get to do my favorite job.

Hooray. I hit 15k points.

Eret trying to prove to us a ponytail won’t work. Like we aren’t going to hype them up no matter what.

Gotta heart in the chat. All Eret’s chat does is hearts and encourage. It’s a lovely place.

Oh Eret forgot his cat ear sub goal. It’s alright I know I forgot.

Pride is next month. Nice.

Oh. We’re almost halfway already. Why does the world spin so quickly?

We forgot a dirt tower. Whoops.

I would wear Eret merch. I like it when people release merch around Christmas. Then I can ask for it as a gift.

Oh it wasn’t a dirt tower.

Just looking at Elaina’s stream in the stream selection screen it like very cozy.

All the way up the Drista stairs.

Look it’s the museum!

Eret’s got most of the builds around there. The museum. The fortress. Nice.

Some things are too historical to remove. Somethings are historical because they are being removed.

Oh no. L’sandburg.

It’s taking over the summer home.

Ah the lore is coming. It just seemed to be too early.

Hello unofficial ranboo Raiders.

Foolish making the awesome tall thingy!

Foolish’s builds are so neat. I want to watch Foolish’s streams more. Maybe just in the background but I start wanting to delayed liveblog and that requires attention.

Oh the giant portal turned out well. Sorry that was the lady’s foolish stream I watched.

Shulkers. The forbidden mob.

Eret with just a pit in the desert filled with llamas. Bones. And discus.

The mansion has been finished?

Alright is better than bad. It’s alright to be alright.

Lucky being not getting tired. I got the Johnson and Johnson vaccine and I was so so tired. I also had just no appetite.

Eret doing an smp tour. And looking at foolish’s builds.

Flickering the switch on the rainbow beacons.

Eret just knowing where everything is.

Kinoko is super pretty. Just for the aesthetic value of the kingdom I appreciate it.

Yeet. Just defenestrated himself out the window.

Oh? Spectator fly over the smp?

That would be really neat to like. Watch in VR. I think I’ve only used VR maybe twice.

Pretty Rainbow beacons.

The nurse who gave me my vaccine hid the needle from me because I mentioned to her that I was afraid of needles. It wasn’t a big deal at all.

30 minutes till I attempt sleep. Woo.

Goose my beloved. Someone make the gif because I’m not quite sure how to make it.

Oh yeah. Goose in Marvel. I hear MCU and think Minecraft cinematic universe. Not marvel.

Ghibli is so nice. It really romanticize small moments of life.

Yeah the characters are all really supportive in Ghibli movies.

Someone subbed for nine months “that’s enough to make a child” -Eret

That mansion is like a maze. I’m so lost already.

Everyone encouraging Eret and telling her she looks pretty. Good.

Eret needs all the hype and encouragement.

Antarctic empties flag. Yeah it does have a similar color pallet.

Michelle! Hello!

Fortress work. Nice.

Do it. I’ll listen the Eret play other games.

I don’t usually watch game play for non Minecraft games. But I’ll listen to it all.

Hbomb and Eret living in the same city feels like two worlds that shouldn’t meet. But it’s awesome that they have.

TOS means against twitches terms of service. Nice. Glad to finally have an explanation of what that means.

Look at our handsome and pretty streamer. All the hype.

I keep turning down the stream to hear the show my mama has on because I’m curious about what happens.

Yeah. Backseat gaming can be annoying. That’s part of why I share my thoughts here just in case I do start backseat gaming.

Almost to the sub goal. Hooray!

Ooo food.

No no. I see where they are coming from. Eret does give a bit of cat bus vibes. I can’t explain it but the vibes are there.

Creeper causing issues at the fortress.

Ed Sheepran my beloved.

I should draw more ferrets. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe I’ll draw us doing stuffs.

Actually I kinda want to make a little animatic of some heels walking across the screen followed by a hoard of ferrets. I think it’ll look cool. But I need the artistic ability and the ability to not scream making that.

Woop. Ad time. Off to the void of where ever the ads game me.

OH THE NEW VOID LOOKS COOL!

Bread. Flowers. Ted. Crown. And of course Eret.

We V O I D and get our streamer bits.

Hush the chat is V O I D and the occasional emoji or emote.

The void being centered looks good. Maybe that’s just the symmetry speaking but it’s good.

Oh. We hear the being. The being in void mode. And spooky mode.

Chat just starts yelling corpse.

Hydration. I try to stay hydrated. But I fail often if I’m not doing something active.

Tree!

Casually makes and snags tree.

Eret does read chat often. It’s strange. And it is weird how often it ends up being you.

You can tell I’m a tumblr peep. I may say stuff in chat but I’m fully not expecting or wanting to be noticed by the streamer.

Others hitting darkness o’clock and saying goodnight.

It’s sleep to the stream hours y’all. Whoop.

I need to visit the parks out west. I’ve only really seen the eastern US ones. But I have been to the Great Smokey Mountain park which is gorgeous.

Eret thinking of his friends triggers when naming his cat.

Eret’s builds are so casually pretty. Not like Foolish’s which are intricately pretty. Not like Phil’s or Sam’s which are complicated pretty. All pretty. Just different breeds of pretty.

Alrighty. It’s sleepy hours for me. As much as I love Eret I want to read some fanfiction and daydream a bit before I head to sleep.

Have a good rest everyone and may all your coming meals be delicious.

Wait no is it our turn with goose?

OUR TURN WITH GOOSE!

Eret honey that’s the ceiling.

Cat stream. Cat stream.

Sleepy kitty. A cat cam would be good.

Yeah. That happens with cats. Especially strays.

Goose captured the computer mouse.

Goose straight up chose Eret and Elaina.

Goose really just chose not to leave.

Oh my stream connection is acting sad. But I want Goose content.

I want to draw Goose now.

Maybe I’ll do water color for Goose. I know I tried to do that with Boots (Fundy’s cat)

Hopefully there will be some Goose face screenshots I can see. Maybe I can see him well in the Tiktok.

Artists just violently refusing payment. Sounds about right. The MCYT artists just kinda go “yeah give credit and we cool”

Cowboy cat. Nice.

I want to paint Goose in the cowboy hat.

Hype train! That we are zooming.

Bucket sponge?

WATER BUCKET FROM WET SPONGE! Tiktok people giving all the cool info.

Go Goose. Catch the computer mouse and the screen mouse.

Just sitting here at 11:30 at night getting screen shots of Goose for painting purposes.

Goose please. Look at the camera babe.

My phone is dying. And I can’t charge it and type.

Alright the camera is off the cat. The cat is also blocking the screen.

But no cat on camera means I’m getting some sleep. If I do any of the projects I’ve mentioned I’ll let y’all know.

Have a good rest everyone.

#eret #dream smp #dsmp #dsmp eret #why must this being stream so late #goose the cat #erets cat #delayed liveblogging

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let-the-dream-begin · 4 years ago

Text

In My Daughter’s Eyes Chapter 9: Affirmation

Chapter 8

Read on AO3

A friend of mine just made some incredible fanart for this story, and I am so in love with it! Please check it out for some adorableness!

November 25

Claire took a shaky breath, still gripping the steering wheel despite the fact that her car had been in park for about five minutes. She was parked in the Abernathy driveway, a store-bought apple pie (something she’d discovered that Americans eat on Thanksgiving) sitting in the passenger seat.

Thanksgiving had been this past Thursday, but both Claire and Joe had been working. Upon realizing that Claire had never celebrated Thanksgiving and had no intention of really doing so, he insisted that Claire come over on Sunday when he was off for her and Faith’s first Thanksgiving Dinner.

Claire had no idea why she felt so panicked; it was just Joe, after all. He had seen her at her absolute worst at the hospital, repeatedly. He knew the ins and outs of Faith’s condition because Faith seemed to be the only thing Claire could talk about other than actual hospital business. He had promised that his wife would be aware, that he would make his kids as well aware as possible. He’d texted her several times that he and Gail were so excited to have her, that their little Delia was dying to meet Faith.

Still, the devil on her shoulder was screaming that Faith wasn’t ready for this, that if she slowed the slightest bit of discomfort, Joe would never welcome them into his home again, and he’d look down on her as an incompetent parent for the rest of her life.

“Do you have any idea how embarrassing that was?”

Faith’s sensory overload had been triggered at an Oxford event, a full-blown meltdown had ensued, and they’d had to leave twenty minutes after arriving.

“She can’t help it, Frank. It was too much for her. I should have known that she couldn’t handle such a big crowd.”

“You’re right,” he snarled, roughly loosening his tie and throwing it on the dresser. “You should have known.”

Claire shook her head to clear her mind, repeating the familiar mantra:

Joe is not Frank. His family is not the Oxford faculty.

Taking advantage of a sudden boost of confidence before it disappeared, Claire got out of the car and unbuckled Faith. She got halfway up the driveway before she realized she left the pie on the passenger seat, then ran back to get it. She stood on the porch and crouched down to straighten Faith’s brown and green dress and flatten a few wild curls, then stood up and straightened her own sweater, pulling it further down over her jeans.

“Ready, baby?” Claire said. “We can do it, yes?”

Faith gave Claire a thumbs up, and that was all she needed to ring the doorbell.

“Lady Jane!” Joe exclaimed as he opened the door. “You look lovely, my friend.”

“Thanks, Joe.” Claire smiled warmly.

“And this little cutie must be Faith.” He crouched down, eye level with her, as Claire had mentioned made her least anxious when meeting strangers. “Hi there, sweetie. I’m Joe, your mom’s friend. It’s great to meet you.” Faith shyly pressed Horsie into her face. “I like your horse, Faith. I’m glad you brought him. There’s plenty of food to go around.”

Claire chuckled as Joe stood to full height once more. “She okay?”

“Yes, I think she’s fine.”

“Great, come on in. Let me take that pie.” As they crossed the threshold, a beautiful black woman swooped in from the end of the hall, her purple sweater making her eyes glimmer.

“Oh, look at you!” she exclaimed. “It is so good to finally put a face to the name.” She gave Claire her hand. “Gail.”

“Claire. And this is Faith.”

She hid behind Horsie again as Gail crouched down. “Hello, little lady. It’s great to meet you. Your dress is very pretty.”

“Say thank you, baby. You know the sign.” Claire crouched down next to Faith and signed thank you. “Miss Gail said your dress is pretty. Say thank you?” She signed again, and Faith copied the best she could with one hand clutching Horsie. “Good girl, Faith. Very good.”

“You’re welcome,” Gail said warmly. “What’s the sign?” Claire’s smile got even wider, showing Gail the sign, and she repeated it to Faith. “You’re welcome, Faith.”

Faith hid her smile in Horsie, but Claire could see it.

“She likes you,” Claire said, standing up along with Gail.

“Well I like her, too.” Gail winked down at Faith. “Here, give me your coats, come in, have a drink, relax.”

A loud shriek suddenly rang through the house, and Faith dropped Horsie to cover her ears.

“Easy, little man,” Claire heard Joe’s voice, followed by:

“Gotta be quiet, Lenny,” a little girl said. “Mama said.”

Claire picked up Horsie and Faith and rocked her. “It’s alright, darling. It was just a little baby. It’s okay.”

“I’m so sorry,” Gail said as they entered the living room. “I swear he doesn’t usually do that.”

“It’s okay, she’s fine,” Claire assured her, despite the fact that Faith’s hands were still glued to her ears.

Joe was standing by the fireplace holding a toddler, three-year-old Lenny, and standing next to him was an adorable little girl in a blue dress.

“Hi, Miss Beauchamp,” the girl said politely. “I’m Dee-Dee.”

“Well hello, there,” Claire said, smiling again. “Your Dad has told me all about you, Dee-Dee. Please, call me Claire.”

Delia looked skeptically to each parent, waiting for their approval to address her informally.

“Okay. Hi, Claire.”

“Faith, lovie,” Claire coaxed, whispering into her temple. “There’s a little girl who’d like to meet you. Can you please move your hands now? It isn’t loud anymore, I promise.” Faith looked down at Delia. “I’m going to put you down now, okay?” Claire slowly lowered Faith to the floor, and she didn’t object.

“Hi, Faith,” Delia said. “My Daddy told me you’re real special. Wanna play?” Faith stared back at her. “I brought lots of dollies from my room that you can play with. Wanna see?”

“Can you show her the dolls, Dee-Dee?” Claire said gently, taking Faith’s hand.

“Uh-huh, follow me.” She led them to the corner of the living room, where the girl had obviously created a little arrangement of all her favorite dolls, surrounding a little dollhouse. “See? They’re pretty.”

“They’re very pretty,” Claire agreed. “Here darling.” Claire picked up one of the dolls and handed it to Faith. “See? Dee-Dee is going to share her dolls.” Faith took the doll in the hand that wasn’t holding Horsie. “Can you be a good girl with Dee-Dee, Faith?” Claire held up her thumb, and Faith copied. “There you go. Good girl.”

“Don’t worry, Claire. Daddy told me we gotta play quiet games,” Delia said seriously. “All my dollies are quiet, and I’m really quiet, too.”

“That’s very good, sweetheart. Thank you so much.”

Delia nodded, then sat down on the floor. “C’mon, Faith. Sit down and play.”

Claire slowly backed away from them, waiting for Faith to start whining for her to come back. She breathed a sigh of relief when she made it to the couch without Faith protesting. Gail was already waiting with a drink, and a plate of appetizers had been put on the coffee table.

“She’s so sweet,” Claire said as she accepted the drink from Gail. “Very thoughtful and sensitive. And she’s only six?”

“Yeah, she’s a good one,” Gail said, sitting down next to her. “Not like that one.” She gestured to Lenny, who Joe had to scoop up again to prevent from launching himself at the girls. “Troublemaker.”

Claire chuckled. “Drives her crazy, I bet.”

“Sure does. Doesn’t help that she bosses him around.” Gail took a pig-in-a-blanket into her fingers.

“Big sisters do that,” Joe piped in, sitting in an armchair with Lenny in his lap.

“So, Claire, tell me all about jolly-old-England. I’ve never been out of the States,” Gail said eagerly, popping the mini hotdog into her mouth.

Claire chuckled and took a sip of her drink. “Well, what do you want to know?”

——

The afternoon progressed without a hitch; Joe and Gail were always careful to remove Lenny from the room if it seemed like he was about to be loud, and they took turns keeping him occupied so he didn’t bombard Faith. Claire was overwhelmed. Never before had anyone taken such measures to be sure that her daughter was comfortable. Back in England, if Claire had merely suggested that they bring awareness to Faith’s special needs to anybody who invited them over, Frank immediately shut it down. He had truly made her feel like she was crazy, like there was really no need for her to worry at all. And then when things inevitably went wrong, it was her fault for not having the foresight to leave her home.

Delia was especially a marvel. She must have been the calmest six year old Claire had ever met. She was so gentle with Faith, and spoke so calmly. She didn’t seem bothered at all that Faith didn’t answer when she talked to her; she seemed more than happy to take the lead on whatever game they were playing. She just chattered away to her, and Faith seemed quite content.

She’s never had a friend.

Claire almost cried into her turkey to think about it.

The meal was quite delicious, a wide assortment of things that Joe assured her were “Thanksgiving foods.” Faith refused to eat the turkey no matter what Claire tried so, in the end, to avoid a meltdown, Claire removed the poultry from her plate and gave her extra carrots instead. Faith’s favorite, by far, was the sweet potatoes with marshmallows, something that Claire had reflexively wrinkled her nose at. Joe, however, insisted she try it at least once, and she had been proven wrong immediately.

The Abernathy Thanksgiving tradition was a board game in between dinner and dessert, and Delia decided on Candy Land. Faith sat in Claire’s lap while she played, letting her pick the cards and move the piece where Claire told her to. Lenny had free range of the living room while Faith was otherwise occupied. Claire found herself dizzy with glee for the entire game, thoroughly enjoying Joe and Gail’s competitive banter, as well as Delia’s constant insistence that she would win.

But it was Faith’s joy that took the cake.

She wasn’t just comfortable, she was happy. She was enjoying herself. She was humming, and stimming, and bouncing in Claire’s lap. How many years had Claire been terrified to take her out of the house, and now here she was, happy as ever…?

Joe had nearly won the game, but he purposely kept making silly mistakes so that Delia would win. Winner, of course, had to clean up the game, while Gail and Joe set out dessert in the dining room. Claire blushed with embarrassment to see that the pie she’d brought was the only store-bought item on the table.

“I almost put it in my own container and pretended I made it myself,” she said jokingly.

Joe laughed. “Doesn’t matter where it came from, Lady Jane. What matters is that you brought it.”

Claire almost burst into tears again.

Dessert was just as delicious and fun as dinner. Evidently, Claire’s apple pie paired quite nicely with Gail’s homemade pumpkin and chocolate pie. Everyone made sure to have at least one piece of each, Joe going in for a second of each. By the end of the night, Claire’s stomach hurt from laughter, and her cheeks were sore from smiling. Faith fell asleep on Claire’s lap, face nuzzled into her breast, and Lenny was down for the night upstairs. Delia was more than content to sit at the table and listen to grown-up conversation, though she was quite close to falling asleep on her hands.

Claire had mentioned Faith’s therapy at the hospital, but Joe was eager to hear more, and Gail was excited to hear about it at all. She regaled the story of Faith’s first interaction with the horse, and the first time she got on the horse. She told them all about Jamie, how he had this magic touch that settled Faith immediately, how he went above and beyond to make Faith happy.

The more Claire went on, the more Joe was getting this look on his face that Claire couldn’t put a name to. Then, as she continued, she realized that the look appeared every time she mentioned Jamie…which was actually quite often. She said his name again, and Joe looked at her again, cocking an eyebrow. She opened her mouth to say something in response, something snarky, but she lost her nerve the longer she thought about it.

Which was strange, because she was never one to lose her nerve.

She quickly turned the conversation back on Joe, and before long, Mister Jamie and his blue eyes were out of sight and out of mind.

“You know,” Claire said, everyone coming down from laughter over an anecdote of a particularly spirited patient they’d had this week. “I’m really, really grateful that you had us today. Your home is beautiful, the food was great, and you’re all just…wonderful.”

“Please, Claire, it was our pleasure,” Gail said. “You’re great company. Ever since Joe’s family moved we’ve missed having people over for Thanksgiving. And Dee-Dee loved playing with Faith.”

Delia shook herself awake enough to nod in response.

“Faith liked playing with her too.” Claire rubbed her back. “She was really great with her. You’ve both done a lovely job with her.”

“Well thanks,” Joe said. “You’ve done a great job with yours, Lady Jane.”

Claire smiled and leaned her cheek on the top of Faith’s head.

“Speaking of…” Gail said. “Looks like it’s past somebody’s bedtime.”

“Not tired, Mama.”

“Oh, yes you are. Come on, young lady.”

“I should get going, too,” Claire said reluctantly, standing up with Faith.

“Oh, are you sure?” Gail said. “You can put Faith down in the guest room and we can have some more drinks.”

“I appreciate that, truly. But I do have a six o’clock shift.”

“Ah, that’s right. Claire takes all the crappy shifts,” Joe said.

“Just so I can have weekends off,” Claire said. “I’d do anything they asked if it means I don’t have to work Saturday or Sunday, or Fridays past four for that matter.”

“Of course, of course,” Joe said.

“Well hold on, now, you’re not going anywhere without leftovers.” Gail shuffled into the kitchen. “Come on Dee, you wanna stay up, you’re gonna help Mama.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

“It’s your food,” Claire objected, following her into the kitchen and shifting Faith’s weight around. “I don’t want to take it, please, we don’t need — ”

“Oh, stop being so damn polite.” Gail waved her off, shoveling potatoes into a Tupperware container. “No way we’d eat all this before it goes bad. This’ll feed you both for a week.”

Claire couldn’t help but smile. “I guess all those microwave dinners will have to sit in the freezer for another week.”

They all laughed at that.

Leftovers packed in containers and a paper bag, everyone shifted from the kitchen into the main hallway.

“Listen, Claire, let’s not wait for another holiday to do this again, alright?” Joe put a hand on the shoulder that Faith’s head was not laying on. “It was really great to have you. Both of you.”

Claire’s heart felt fit to burst, and she couldn’t stop the tears that rushed to her eyes.

“Thank you, Joe. Really. This means…a lot to us.”

“Us, too,” Gail said, Delia wrapped around her waist, half asleep.

“Goodnight, Lady Jane.”

“Goodnight Joe. Gail, Delia.”

“Goodnight, honey.”

Claire had to keep pausing in her buckling of Faith’s car seat to wipe tears from her eyes.

“I’m so proud of you,” she whispered, brushing frizzled little curls off of Faith’s forehead. “We’re doing it, lovie.”

This fresh start was truly the best thing that ever happened to them.

——

December 18

Claire was bouncing in her seat, almost exactly like she’d seen her daughter do countless times. She’d rearranged her entire schedule this week so that she could meet Gillian’s plane. She’d come straight here from work, with Faith still at home with Mrs. Lickett. As much as she’d love to have Faith greet her Auntie right away, she figured that would not be wise considering how things had gone the last time they were in an airport together.

She kept checking her phone, as if planes could actually adhere to their exact schedules. The plane was supposed to arrive in five minutes. Claire remembered quite vividly the day she’d said goodbye to Gillian back in Oxfordshire, the bone crushing hug and the tears they shed on each other. They hadn’t been apart more than a few days since the day they met, and no one else had been there for her as steadfastly when Frank left. That day, she wasn’t sure she could go on without her. Which was more than she could say for going on without her husband. She was quite sure she could do that.

So to see her in more or less five minutes after three months had her as giddy as Faith anticipating the opening notes to Frozen.

After an eternity of about fifteen minutes, the announcement that her flight landed sounded and Claire jumped out of her seat. Obviously it would be another ten minutes at least before the plane was lined up at the gate, but she just couldn't sit still anymore.

When people finally started pouring out of the bridge, and Claire caught sight of that strawberry-blonde head, she suddenly felt like a freshman in college again, waving like an idiot to get her attention across campus.

Her elfin face lit up immediately upon seeing her, and she shoved past about six people and started sprinting toward Claire. With a girlish squeal, the two women collided with a force that knocked the wind out of Claire.

“Oh my God!” Gillian exclaimed, squeezing the life out of Claire. “Jesus! Let me look at you!” She held Claire at arms length, and she squealed again. “My God, Claire, ye’ve gotten even hotter!”

Claire gave quite an unattractive guffaw and swatted her arm. “You look great too, Gi.”

Gillian promptly squealed again and pulled her in for another air-compressing hug.

After about five more minutes of fawning over one another, they proceeded arm-in-arm to baggage claim, then outside to Claire’s car.

“Hope ye didn’t pay too much fer parking,” Gillian said as she slung her suitcase into the trunk.

“Oh, you know, America,” Claire said, rolling her eyes. “It was robbery, of course.”

Gillian snorted before getting into the passenger seat. “It’s a lovely set o’ wheels. How long did it take ye to no’ drive on the wrong side o’ the road?”

Claire chuckled as she put the car in reverse to pull out of her spot. “Not as long as I thought. I do still have to consciously think about it.”

“I hope it isna too long to yer place, I’m starving. That shite on a platter they give ye on the plane just doesna cut it. No’ to mention I’m dying to see my wee niece.”

Claire beamed. “She is so excited to see you. I’ve been telling her every day for a week how many days until Auntie Gi. She was practically vibrating this morning when I told her today was the day.” They both shared a laugh at that. “And as for being hungry, I already placed a delivery order to arrive shortly after we get home.”

Gillian leaned her head back into the seat, sighing. “I could kiss ye.”

Claire scoffed affectionately, giving Gillian’s thigh a pat before turning her attention back to the road.

——

When they arrived at the apartment, Gillian was in awe at the sheer suburban-ness of the place. Together, they lugged the suitcase up the stairs, and Claire couldn't help but smile already before she even turned the lock.

As she’d expected, Faith was already right by the front door, having heard the car arrive, and promptly threw herself on Gillian’s legs.

“There she is!” Gillian cried, bending down to lift her and settle her on her hip. She gave an exaggerated grunt as she did. “Jesus, Faith, ye’ve gotten so big I can hardly lift ye anymore!”

Faith was squealing with giggles, stimming without restraint, humming loudly. She threw her arms around Gillian’s neck and squeezed tightly, causing everyone, including Mrs. Lickett, to laugh affectionately.

“Och, I missed ye so much, wee girl,” Gillian crooned as she stepped into the apartment, Claire following behind with the suitcase. “She really has gotten so big, how has it only been three months?”

“I know, I can’t believe how fast she’s growing.” Claire leaned against the couch, her heart full. “Oh, Gillian, this is Faith’s caretaker, Mrs. Lickett.” The older woman smiled warmly from the other side of the coffee table.

“Great to meet ye, I’ve heard so much,” Gillian said.

“So have I, about you,” Mrs. Lickett returned.

The woman gathered her things and left, Gillian coaxing the little girl in her arms to wave goodbye.

“Fifteen minutes until Italian food,” Claire sighed, plopping herself on the couch.

“Ah, New York Italian food,” Gillian said, sitting down beside her and putting Faith in her lap. “A delicacy.”

“Indeed. You were right about that.” Claire watched gleefully as Faith hummed and ran her fingers through Gillians straight, silky hair. It was quite a different texture from her mother’s untamable curls, so she was likely enjoying the sensation quite a bit.

Dinner arrived and was eaten with much celebration, including a bottle of wine that Claire had been saving for the occasion. Faith had vehemently insisted on being given some, which Claire had anticipated, and cleverly served her a little cup of grape juice. They clinked their glasses and cups together, making Faith smile wide as ever.

A comedy of manners ensued when they tried to get the air mattress blown up in the living room, especially with the obtrusive Christmas tree in the way. Several failed attempts later, it was blown up and fully made, just before Faith’s patience ran out in waiting for her movie. They sat cuddled under a blanket on the couch watching Beauty and the Beast, Faith laughing her head off at Gillian’s extremely poor attempts at singing along.

After Faith was in bed, Gillian and Claire spent hours cuddled under the blanket, passing the wine bottle back and forth, updating each other on anything and everything. They were up much later than Claire should have been, being that she had a shift at eight in the morning, but she couldn't bring herself to care. Sitting there, tipsy, with her best friend, whispering and giggling into the wee hours of the morning was the most uninhibited she’d felt in years.

#outlander #outlander fanfic #outlander au #outlander fanfiction #claire beauchamp #claire fraser #jamie fraser #faith fraser #frank randall #joe abernathy #gail abernathy

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mahou-furbies · 4 years ago

Note

☕️ transformation items in precure!

Overall I’m more tolerant for dumb designs with transformation items than in weapons so most of them get a positive or at least neutral reaction from me. However some still scream “we would never have used a design like this if it wasn’t for the toys”.

Let’s go through them all!

Futari wa Precure

Simple flip-phone like designs for the modern girl in 2004. I think these are alright enough but don’t raise a lot of emotions in me. Not a fan of the mascots transforming into items, like does the phone become a part of their body, that’s just creepy. I’d prefer if it was made clear that the phone is a separate item and the mascots just shrink to be able to fit in it. I prefer the original designs, the upgraded ones look busier.

Uhh... I got nothing on this. I guess it’s nice that the new girl gets an item that’s a bit different but also similar to the ones we already have.

Splash Star

Still got nothing, it’s the same thing again. Good that they started using different ideas from the fourth season onwards. I guess I prefer the Futari Wa ones since these somehow feel too small. Nice light? But let’s just say that while it’s just fine to use phone as a base for the transformation item, there’s quite many of them on this list and in general they are a bit boring when you can’t do anything else with them than press a few buttons in the beginning.

Yes! Precure 5

Simple design but it works, usually black is a good idea. Though it could do with some buttons because now it doesn’t look you can do much anything with this. It’s a nice detail how the henshin starts with the lid of the clock opening and ends with it closing.

Now we’re truly in the 00′s with the flip phones. I like how the henshin starts with the lid opening, and the rose button is cute. But there’s not a lot to say about this one and it’s pretty boring.

My second least favourite Precure transformation item. What is this even supposed to be? Some kind of makeup case? In that case I’d rather have the colous be actual makeup and not buttons. The handle also feels stupid.

Fresh Precure!

This doesn’t even try to pretend it’s not a phone, it even has the number buttons. Actually were the transformation items originally the Cures’ phones? Can they make regular phone calls with this? I’d like to see that. But this is cute enough, I can imagine that a real phone like this could have been popular with little girls. But maybe it could do with some extra detail to look more weird, now it feels a bit too mundane to be a magical girl item.

Heartcatch Precure!

I’m not a huge fan of beauty products in little girls’ shows, but they do make a lot of sense in a transformation sequence where you get to see the characters “apply” the magic themselves, and the fragrance bottles make for some great henshin animation and also fit a flower-themed season. I also like the white-and-gold palette, makes it look more regal than the usual shock pink.

I forgot this one even existed. I really can’t muster any emotion towards it, KiraKira did the compact mirror thing a lot better.

Suite Precure

Why are the colours pink-white-blue-purple and not yellow? I don’t have particularly strong feelings for this one in any direction, I guess on its own it’s a bit boring when it doesn’t resemble any real item I can recognise and you can’t do much else with it than press the button at the bottom, but I also think it’s fine to have an item like that every once a while. However I think the little mascot creatures that are needed to use this thing are uncute and that lowers the overall points.

Smile Precure!

Another makeup item, another chance for the characters to do the transformation themselves. I love the little tup tup! sound effect that comes from this. Otherwise great, but it’s just unacceptable that the canon Cures cover 5 of the coloured bead thingys but we don’t get a red or purple Cure. False marketing I say.

Doki doki! Precure

The mascot-items are back and I’m still not a fan of this living-creature-turns-into-hard-plastic-device thing. It’s a phone, but it’s also too bulky to comfortably feel like one. But I really like how they spell L-O-V-E with the heart, I thought that was creative.

They tried to make Ace all cool and mature and then her transformation item is the most kiddy-looking TOY makeup box ever. Even if the merch is plastic can’d she at least have actual makeup in the henshin? And what’s with the button colours, sure they’re the team colours this time, but the other Cures don’t even use this item.

Happiness Charge Precure!

The idea that the Cures can choose different cards to insert is a super fun one, and it’s also nice that they can use it for more mundane outfit changes outside battle scenes too. The writing around the cards is atrocious though but that’s another story. As for the design of the device itself, I think it’s pretty weak, it’s somehow bulky and not very memorable.

Probably my least favourite item from this bunch. The Piano is yet another unrelated thing that is shoved into HapiCha’s confused world, there is nothing about making music in the themes of the season, or Iona as a character. I hate that this thing is the culmination of Hime and Iona’s character arcs. Also the design looks really cheap and the animation where Iona presses a couple keys to get sounds that don’t even try to hide that this is just a toy for three-year-olds wastes time.

Go! Princess Precure

Another makeup item. At least perfumes fit the princess theme... But Go!Pri has the best henshin scenes in Precure, and the Cures applying the tranformation themselves plays a part in that. I also love how they start the transformation by filling the bottle with their theme colour, and the little twist they do with the key is a nice change from the usual button presses. And like with Heartcatch white and gold makes for a good regal colour palette. I think you could get an actual pretty fragrance bottle for grownups with this design if you did it with glass rather than plastic.

Also there are the keys which I love because of course I’m going to love collectible frilly dress items. They give each transformation and attack something unique and I like the bit where all the keys show up in a chain at the end of the henshin (and thankfully otherwise hidden under frills so you don’t need to draw them every time), and it’s nice to get the lock-and-key theme to the henshin as well. So once again Go!Pri is the best Precure at something and now gets the award for Best Precure Transformation item.

(god flora is so cute in this frame)

Mahou Tsukai Precure!

My bias that ever since I was a kid I’ve never really liked teddy bears comes to play here. The idea that the Cures don’t have a distinct transformation item at all is fun and the jewel theme is nice too, but I’m just filled with negative emotions whenever I see Mofurun... I haven’t seen MahouTsukai outside the henshin scenes so who knows if she’ll turn out to be my favourite character (and not just by process of elimination from me disliking everyone else more)

Not a big fan of this one, is it supposed to be a smartphone, or do they have some kind of smart notebooks in Japan? Either way it doesn’t really fit witches or flower fairies. All the little engravings are pretty and the flowers are cute, but overall this feels just random.

Kira Kira Precure a la Mode

Mixing the attributes the character represents with a magic whisk and then transforming by covering yourself with the whipped cream is a super fun idea, and also one of the few Precure transformations where the girls apply the transformation themselves that is not based on beauty products. Or I guess this is a pocket mirror too but whatever. The item itself is fun and cute enough.

However as those who saw my Ichika fanart a few days ago I really really really don’t like that they have to fiddle with the pathetic tiny q-tip of a whisk, give them one the size of a microphone so they can put some strength into it!

Hugtto! Precure

I love how you can twist the end to make a heart, if I had one of these I’d click it back and forth while sitting at the computer and the hinges would be busted in no time. The grey things at the edge of the screen could be some other colour, now they look a bit like they’re made of rocks. I don’t think this one does anything special but it’s just so cute that I have to love it.

Star Twinkle Precure

These are fun but a bit wasted on a season that has nothing to do with art. But otherwise A+ idea, very active participation from the girls when they draw almost everything in their new look, and it’s not makeup-based. Quill and ink bottle are the most magical writing apparatus so that’s very fitting, and thanks to the space theme we get some stars too so it’s not just the usual hearts. The pink tone is a bit gaudy.

Healin’ Good Precure

And we end on a weaker note with mascot items again. And these are my least favourites since to me they come across as if they have the dead-eyed animals’ decapitated heads sticking out of them. The paws also feel somehow unbalanced, and should not be pink for the blue and yellow items. The bottles feel tacked on too.

I feel that the mascots have been treated a bit better than average in Healin’ Good so I suppose it’s not bad that they get to be involved with the fights too (It’s nice that the item is also used as a weapon) but I would really rethink the design since now I don’t think the different elements go too well together and the result feels unbalanced.

#precure #stuff #Anonymous #responses #ranking #Hapuriainen bitches about children’s cartoons

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the-final-sif · 4 years ago

Text

interview about writing processes

Hey Lady Sif,

thank you for taking time for us and agreeing to answer our interview questions.

Since this was of short notice we decided to change the deadline to June 19.

We hope the time frame suits you.

Here are our questions:

Can you shortly describe us your writing history? How did you start off? How did you come across fanfiction?

Do you have a writing philosophy that helps you overcome challenges in writing?

Could you describe your writing environment? (workplace, prefered writing tools, fandom discourse, discourse with friends)

What inspires you to write and post in and for a fandom? What triggers your headcanons? Does your educational background influence your writing?

In how far does your fandom experience influence your writing?

In how far do you work with others to create fan content? And what ideas do you integrate in your writing?

Are there certain steps you take/decisions you make when/before responding to a post/prompt?

When and why did you decide to host writing events like your fake fics event? What was the purpose and how did you approach the title prompts?

How would you describe the difference between writing alone and writing spontaneously with others (first in creating fan theories and headcanons and second in creating fanfiction)?

Do you think knowing that others read and can comment on your texts subconsciously influences your writing?

What motivated you to create a story where your readers can decide for an ending (name)?

Is there anything else you consider important in your writing process that you would like to tell us?

Thanks again for your time and effort, we are very much looking forward to your answers!

If you’re interested we’ll keep you updated on our findings.

Kind regards, Dana and Helena

----

Can you shortly describe us your writing history? How did you start off? How did you come across fanfiction?

I started writing when I was very young! I was a huge reader, and even before I was writing stuff down I was a storyteller. It’s a really important part of my family & how we communicate with each others and others.

My first experience with fanfiction was when I was,, 7 or 8? That sounds about right. I hand wrote a fanfiction called “ShoppingCats” which something between warrior cats and Cats vs Dogs, but also made primarily of my OCs (+ a handful of warriors characters I liked). I still have most of it, it’s sitting in my desk drawer in it’s original binder, since my mother saved it.

I came across fandom spaces / online fanfiction in 2012 with fanfiction.net, and published my first fanfiction in 2013 (under Rosae-Sif on fanfiction.net). I’ve taken breaks as my interests changed & life got chaotic, but I’ve always enjoyed retelling stories that I hear and changing them to suit me more / explore new themes, so I’ve stuck with it after all this time.

Do you have a writing philosophy that helps you overcome challenges in writing?

Yes! I write for myself above all else. It’s fun to write stuff for other people sometimes, and I like getting feedback and what not, but I never let that be the focus of my writing. I always try to write what I want to be reading, so when I go back and reread what I’ve written, more often than not I find I’ve produced something that makes me happy, and that helps keep me going when a lot of other things couldn’t.

Could you describe your writing environment? (workplace, prefered writing tools, fandom discourse, discourse with friends)

Uhhh, I don’t really have any one set thing. I mostly write on my laptop, sometimes I use a notebook + pen. I have 5$ fountain pen that I got that I really love when I have writer’s block.

I think the most consistent “workplace” for me is actually discord/my friends. Almost all of my AUs/fics/ideas start as me storytelling (either typing things out or out loud) to someone else. That’s where the spark comes from, and then that slowly is refined through several iterations until I have something I like.

I really like taking long walks with headphones & nobody else around. That’s when a lot of the very early forms of my favorite ideas come to me. It’s a key part of my writing process the few times I get stuck on stuff too. I just go walk till I figure it out.

I don’t really get involved in discourse much. I like debating people, but I try to stay away from destructive stuff and just have my own fun corner where I create things. I’m in fandom for fun, and I refuse to let me experience be tainted by people who try to turn it into Discourse Central.

What inspires you to write and post in and for a fandom? What triggers your headcanons? Does your educational background influence your writing?

As I mentioned before, I write and post primarily for myself! I have a lot of ideas in my head all the time, and things I want to see, so I create those things and then put them here. It’s fun when other people interact with me + add onto my ideas + create things in response!

My headcanons are usually just kinda,,,, coming out of my brain. I think it’s just how I am. I have a question or a thought and I start looking into it and before I know it, a whole new thing has come out of it.

I think my family actually influenced a lot of my writing style more than anything else. I mean, I was homeschooled for a long time, and my parents were very encouraging of whatever weird projects I was creating (my dad once even let me cut down and drag actual brambles into the basement to create a warriors style fort). I was allowed to dress however I wanted (during high school I worn nothing but PJ pants b/c they were most comfy for me, and also I had/have several capes that I would rotate through), I was allowed to dye my hair (still do! it’s current a side shave in red + purple + blue!), and I was encouraged to just,,, be weird and happy. I think that shows in how I write. I pursue the ideas I want to go after, I indulge myself, I commit to thinks and I focus more on what I want to write rather than what I feel I should write.

That being said, a lot of science nerding that comes out in my writing is def from my educational background. I’ve got a bachelors and stuff. I did take some writing classes, but to be honest, I think my fanfiction experience influenced those a lot more than they influenced my fanfiction (years and years of writing constantly and quickly paid off in college where I would BS papers the night before and get top marks on it).

In how far does your fandom experience influence your writing?

Hmm, I don’t think it does that much? I mean, for the BNHA fandom in particular, I think that seeing all the cool content + ideas other people create really keeps my brain chugging along and creating new things, and god, having seen people make fanart and fanfiction for my stories has been one of the best feelings I’ve ever experienced, but I don’t think that’s really changed how I’m writing.

At my core, I’m still doing the same thing my 8 year old self was doing with her pencil and that binder full of paper. I take the strange thoughts out of my head, and I follow them onto the paper until I create something that makes me happy.

I’ve had some negative experiences of course. I mean, everyone does. They’ve all been fairly minor, mostly just people trying to tell me I’m wrong about stuff that’s either in an AU that’s already not supposed to be canon, or stuff I’m right about. Most of the time it’s just annoying. Sometimes it’s concerning. I ignore or delete the annoying stuff, I don’t want to give it any of my time or attention.

The concerning stuff I try to reply to. It’s been rare, but sometimes I get comments on certain fics trying to tell me what’s being depicted in my fic isn’t abusive when it absolutely is. I try to correct that and link to resources when I do get that. I usually don’t get a reply, but a few times I’ve had people realize that what they thought was normal was actually abusive behavior. I’m happy that I’m able to help people come to that realization.

In how far do you work with others to create fan content? And what ideas do you integrate in your writing?

Hmmm, I’ll be honest, I’m not quite sure how to answer this one. I don’t exactly work with others when creating my fan content? All of my writing (save one RP collab homestuck fic from ages ago) is done by me exclusively, and most my ideas are also mostly from my own brain. Although I will say one exception to that is @windschildfanfictionwriter whose an amazing bnha writer I chat with fairly frequently when I need help figuring something out.

It’s less of “working” with people, and more discussing things/ideas, and being excited about stuff. Sometimes literally all I need is someone to be my rubber duck while I talk about an idea for 2-3 hours to get it solidified. People in my discord server often help me by betaing (editing/reviewing) my wips. My adhd means I often make weird mistakes, and they’re wonderful at helping me catch that.

As for ideas I pull into my writing, it’s hard to pick out specific ones. I think I kinda create + absorb + integrate lots of stuff at once. A lot of the times my ideas don’t come from things other authors write, but instead come from things other authors didn’t write. When I see an thought/idea/thread in a story that isn’t followed up on, or isn’t handled how I think it should be handled, that often inspires me to either use a similar base concept or similar thought but in the way I wish it had been done.

Are there certain steps you take/decisions you make when/before responding to a post/prompt?

Not really? I tend to just go with whatever comes to me or what I already had prepared. I’m rather impulsive, so unless it’s a delicate subject matter, I roll with whatever’s going on.

I do always make myself take a step back before responding to stuff that annoys me/any sort of anon hate. I have to remind myself it’s not worth the effort and I should focus on positive/fun stuff. I’ll admit though, I have a very combative nature that can get the better of me sometimes. I’ve gotten better at that though! Hooray for proper adhd medication to help prevent destructive stimulus seeking behavior and therapy! Although I do still like to debate stuff for fun, I just don’t let myself get hostile about it.

When and why did you decide to host writing events like your fake fics event? What was the purpose and how did you approach the title prompts?

Oh, I just saw the post and thought it looked fun so I reblogged it. Stuff like that is mostly an impulse more than anything else.

I just kinda went with the flow for the titles. God, I got so many of those, I still have a lot of them sitting in my inbox, most of which I probably won’t ever post. For the ones I did do though, I picked ones that sounded like fic titles I would actually use, and then asked myself what sort of story I would use that title for. Then I just kinda wrote whatever came to me.

How would you describe the difference between writing alone and writing spontaneously with others (first in creating fan theories and headcanons and second in creating fanfiction)?

Hmmm. This one is also a bit hard. It’s rare I truly “write alone”, most of my stories start as a form of oral storytelling and then are adapted to “proper” writing. Most of my theories/headcanons start the same way.

You’ll notice a lot of my posts start with “Also” “Okay” or “I’ve been thinking” or “You know”. When I’m writing my headcanon/theory posts, it’s all written very conversationally because I’m still following my family’s storytelling in a way. It’s a public post, but I’m not just making statements to a void. I’m still talking to people, addressing them, leading them through stuff. It’s just how I communicate on a very fundamental leave.

I’m still writing for myself, I’m creating for myself, but I’m doing it with others. I’m telling a story constantly, and sometimes I’m telling that story to myself, but I’m still telling it to someone.

I think you can read that in my fics, with the perspective I tend to use. I use limited third person POV, but when I’m writing, I try to write it how the character I’m writing from the POV of would tell their own story. I’m not just describing what’s happening, I’m letting this character tell their story through their own voice, to others, to me. It’s a core part of my writing, and that makes it hard to say that it was ever really written alone.

Do you think knowing that others read and can comment on your texts subconsciously influences your writing?

I mean, it’d be impossible for it not to. But I don’t think it influences me that much. I’m still writing for myself most of the time, and I hold onto my bullshit tightly. I don’t change my writing based on what I think other people want to see from me.

That being said, it’s still something I think about. It’s more of a conscious choice, but specifically regarding my stories that have abuse in them, I try to connect in elements of realism and common underrepresented traits/habits of abuse (which I do try to check via research when I can) and ensure that they are then called out as what they are. I’ve gotten a number of comments/asks/discord messages from people telling me that my works helped them realize they were in a crappy situation / understand what they were going through, and that’s something that’s important for me.

I think The Green Eyed Monster is an example of that, where I explore platonic stalking/obsession/pressuring. It’s something I don’t see taken seriously often enough, so I wanted to frame it in a serious but realistic light and make it clear that what was happening was wrong and harmful. I wanted to explore this concept, but I purposefully did it in a way that I hoped would help others who might’ve dealt with it on some level understand it for what it was, and I think it really shows. In the comments of that fic, there’s a lot of very personal responses/stories from people who went through similar experiences. I think that’s important, so it’s something I try to do when I can.

The other thing is I do 100% put references/lines in certain stories with an evil grin on my face knowing that a certain handful of my commenters are going to rip their hair out over it, either because they have no idea what I mean by it, or they know exactly what I mean by it. But hey, I’m a hurt/comfort writer at heart, so you can hardly blame me.

What motivated you to create a story where your readers can decide for an ending (name)?

Oh, uh, “Seven Year Old Katsuki Has The Ability To Kill A Grown Man And No Concept Of Legality”.

I actually can’t remember the exact inspiration for this one? I think I saw uhhh, Markiplier, playing a text adventure game, and I got curious about creating something similar.

I considered using a platform meant for text based games, but true to my family’s long history of needlessly complicating things and creating things where they aren’t meant to be created out of some mix of spite and creative hubris, I decided I wanted to make it on A03 instead. I looked up a style formatting guide, and went to work.

That whole project took like 1-2 months, around school work and everything else. It was created entirely using links that sent you to the next page. That’s it. That’s the only ‘code’ functionality I had to work with. So I made a whole paper map of the routes, separating them out into “steps” and then created unique text blocks for each step based on prior choices. I used a secret point system for one of the main routes, and ended up with 97 unique steps, and 155 different text blocks/variations.

Fun project. A03 was having some trouble/going down right after I released it, and to this day, certain members of the discord server still blame me for that as I was forcing the website into bullshit it was not meant to contain.

Is there anything else you consider important in your writing process that you would like to tell us?

Nothing I can think of off the top of my head. Other than maybe I have an African Gray named Cecil, and sometimes when I’m not ready to share an idea with humans, I’ll talk it out with him first. He’s an excellent listener sometimes, and by that I mean he’s usually ignoring me or I’m giving him scratches and he’s not paying my rambling any mind.

Though sometimes I get lucky and when I finish up a point and ask for his opinion, he’ll just look at me for a moment and say “I love you.” He does it because I’ll always cave and give him treats since I’m weak for him, but it still makes me smile.

#sif speaks #sif answers #my writing #long post #if there's anything else #just let me know!#submission

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faustonastring · 4 years ago

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Hiii. Congrats on having 500 followers. This is not really a request but I think it would be fun if I you can describe your MC and I can fanart them/him/her, base on what you wrote (or you can send a photo of your MC for more accurate fanart haha..). Anyway, just want to give you my support and thank you for all the writtings, lighten my mood everyday ~

Ahhhhhhh please don’t feel obligated to draw anything for me, if you want to by all means go ahead, I’m not going to stop you, but you don’t have to go out of your way or anything 🥺

Describing my Apprentice

But being that you asked....ahhhhshshwhah quite honestly at first I wasn’t really sure, when I first started playing the game it never really crossed my mind, I just used my name (and I still do) and as dorky as I think it is, the arcana really helped me get through some shit and it still does, but when I started getting traction on this blog, I knew one day some one was going to ask, so I started to pull things that I liked about my self, traits that I like or find cute about other people, and a very half assed and dramatic backstory, which I’m still working out, but if any one wants to hear what I got for it, ill most definitely explain. Also, I always kind of thought of little oc’s here and there that gave representation to certain communities, like the trans community, the black community, and apprentice with vitiligo (which is so pretty, btw, if you have vitiligo you are so. Beautiful. And I mean that I’m the nicest, non sexualized way possible,) and if people would like, when I get more free time I will most definitely give them some more thought, but back to ✨me✨ I can’t draw, like to save my life, and I, not the best at explaining things, so here are some pictures I made on picrew of what I imagine her looking like, and below them I’ll go into more detail

👏Dumb 👏 bitch 👏 blonde 👏 but plot twist, she’s actually really smart. She just makes a lot of stupid decisions, and has a lot of ✨mental illnesses ✨

First let’s start out with her blonde ass hair, which ties into the truamatic totally off canon backstory I’m giving her, (and honestly if you think hard about it, you could probably guess why she has blonde hair) growing up I always wanted my hair to be blonder, and super curly, so, she has very blond hair, which is right in between super curly and super wavy, as for the color, the second picture sums up the color pretty well.

She also has very blue ass eyes, like In the third picture, and some long ass eyelashes, which look like false ones.

She also has a gap inbtweem her two front teeth, nothing too big, not too small, just right. (But if were being honest it’s a little on the smaller side.

She is also 5’5 and is super skinny, my reasoning for this is that when asra brought her back, she was deathly skinny, and she never really gained back her weight, because of this she has a small chest, and ass, but has an hour glass figure, and dimples (Tw) she also has self harm marks on her thighs and wrist.

👏She 👏is 👏muriels 👏cottage 👏core 👏wife. 👏Except the thing is, she looks the part, she looks exactly how you would Imagine a cottage core wife to look like, except she is a feral dumbass, who acts the exact opposite way. Sure she’ll bake cookies from scratch. :) But can she use weed oil instead of butter-

I’ve mentioned before that opposites attract, but for that to work, you, and your partners moral code has to be the same, which is why she vibes so hard with Muriel, he grounds her, and she keeps him on his toes, but what’s super cute about their dynamic is that even though they may seem like polar opposites they both have a lot in common, like they both like nature, and flowers, and they’re both from the south-

Her faveroite color is pink, which works out great because it works so well with green, and she can always be seen with a headband in her face, or her hair pulled up on in braids, because it is thick and loooong, (like waist length)

She alsooooo loves dresses, that are like ankle length, or skirts that are ankle length, their comfy, cute, and if your In a rush, you don’t need to take it off to fuck, just hitch it up a little bit, it will be finneeeee

Also I haven’t decided her name yet, I feel weird giving her my real name, but at the same time she was based off of me, so it’s either Emma, or Elisabeth

I think that’s about all of her physical qualities, if any one is interested in learning more about her, or anything spefic about her, send in an ask, and I’ll gladly answer it any time! (Please don’t be shy, it makes me happy knowing that people are interested in this dumb bitch 🥺)

#the arcana #the arcana game #the arcana apprentice #the arcana oc #500 follower special #muriel the arcana

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mu11berry · 4 years ago

Photo

I did the six fanarts thing on instagram and ended up doing 8 because... I don’t know how to tell people no XD

My handwriting is hard to read + I feel like rambling so, see below the cut for my long-winded explanations

Top left is Rhen Pendragon. I drew her last because I knew saving her for last would give me motivation to finish all the other drawings, but I put her first because this drawing of her is the best lineart I have ever done or will ever do, welcome to my magnum opus, please never expect perfection like this from me again. She makes it look like I wasn't even trying on the other linearts but I swear I was, idk how I ever drew anything as perfect as her but I can't even complain because at least now my magnum opus is Rhen Pendragon. Top right is Dameon Maurva. He is the most difficult character to draw... ever. But I love drawing him anyway because I love him so I saved him for second to last. He is a gentle part-fae child and all the fairies love him and I've wanted to draw this concept for a while now so yay. Also, I love designing fairy clothes. 10/10, would recommend. I redrew the background on this one like seventy times because I couldn't find something that fit, but finally decided on an interpretation of Memory Caverns. The music in that location is gorgeous, and the theme fits both Dameon's character and the fairies. Second left is Princess Allura from Voltron Lengendary Defender. She's wearing Lance's t-shirt because she deserves to live happily ever after with her cute boyfriend and finally wear something besides pink, the literal color of mourning in her culture. I feel like nobody recognizes how edgy and angsty she is, like if we translated her actions in her culture to ours she would be constantly dressed in all black, and she already does that whole melodramatic speech about how much has been lost and etc etc like she's the brooding protagonist of an action movie or something and like. Idk, she just deserves more recognition for everything about her and I love her and she. deserved. better. Second right is Muriel of the Kokhuri, from The Arcana. He was requested twice actually because someone asked specifically for him and someone asked for my favorite character from that game and surprise, that's him. He's so gentle and kindhearted but he's also learning to stand up for himself and love himself in his route and that's pretty much one of my favorite arcs ever (like hello, just look at Rhen, and Dameon, and my faves in any other fandom basically xD). Plus, you get to pet so many cute animals in his route!! And SPOILERS but you can make a flower crown FOR A CAT!!! (Pictured here in Muriel's arms, hi Pepi) Third left is Boyle Wolfbane. He's just. So adorable. But don't tell him I said that, you'll hurt his feelings. He wanted to do finger guns for this portrait. I tried to tell him to pick something more dramatic but he insisted this was the most dramatic pose possible. I cannot draw finger guns but I love him anyway so please pretend they look good so he can feel happy. Third right is He-man. Though actually I drew him as Prince Adam but close enough. I've seen a lot of people draw He-man for this challenge and I can't figure out why? Did the show make a comeback or something? But anyway I've actually only seen one episode of he-man, and it was recorded, and it was a long time ago but I specifically remember loving the cat so I also drew the cat.

Forth left is Galahad. The background is supposed to be the practice yard in Sedona, but abstract because I was a lil lazy after trying to get his nose right for 210359482 hours. I still didn't get it right though XD Fun fact! Galahad was also requested twice. He’s a popular man.

Forth right is Nicolas. This is post quest where he adopts Jack and they run charities in Thais together because I just like the idea and I said so. I got the outfit from pinterest and I’m pretty sure I still have it saved if anyone wants the reference.

#aveyond #rhen pendragon #dameon maurva #boyle wolfbane #galahad teomes #nicolas pendragon #princess allura #muriel of the kokhuri #i know only the first like 3 tags show up in searches #but might as well make my blog somewhat navigable

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gayregis · 4 years ago

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I've listened to the part where Geralt talks with a very ill Cahir about Ciri and vengeance... it was one of the most emotional parts of the book by itself but also thanks to your take about the lost innocence of Ciri ! I felt it thrice hard in the feelings! Also, do you have thoughts on the declared love of Cahir for Ciri? Personally I see it as disturbingly romantic, let's say. Thank you for your commitment to the books and sorry to bother you

omg thank you for the ask. first of all i have to say you’re not bothering me!! tbh i have been loving getting asks because it gives me an opportunity to like bring more discussion to the witcher community...

i feel like although reblogging pretty gifs of characters/landscapes from tw3 and any good fanart i can find is nice, my FAVORITE thing to do is write or read a really long textpost about the witcher books, i really like the discussion aspect of fandoms where people post their reactions and opinions to the content they like, because you get a bunch of shared reactions and differing opinions.

so no this is NOT a bother at all, and its nice especially to get asks about topics that i have strong feelings about but have not made posts about yet, like this one

ok, as for the actual topic: i hate forced heterosexuality, so you KNOW i hate that canon cahiri! it was out of line from sapkowski and imo, it came out of absolutely nowhere in tower of the swallow, it wasn’t something built up to or foreshadowed at all, so it felt not only weird in context but weird for sapkowski as an author.

my main problem with canon cahiri: i think it’s super creepy!

first of all, let’s discuss the age difference. cahir in baptism of fire is estimated to be “not over 25,” which i see as putting him around 20 to 25 years old, and i usually take the median of this which is around 23. while this “not over 25″ comment is said in the context of the hansa to remark upon how young cahir is (i believe it’s thought of by either geralt or dandelion, and geralt is around 60 years old and as a witcher he looks 45, and dandelion is 38 in tower of the swallow), and how cahir is described as a young man in time of contempt to illustrate that he has a sense of innocence to him as ciri cuts him down, his age gap with ciri is super innappropriate for anything to occur between them, since she is 10 or 11 during the massacre of cintra (as stated by geralt in something more), so she would be around 14 at thanedd, and 15-16 during baptism of fire to lady of the lake. so sapkowski deemed it fit to pair a 23 year old man with a 16 year old girl. this isn’t the first time he’s done something like this, what with essi being “not over 18″ and shani also bein around 18 / college age, and yennefer canonically looking around 20. listen, the man has some messed up values when it comes to women’s ages. we have to take it upon ourselves as people who like the not-weird parts of canon to understand how worldviews and personal biases affect one’s writing, and change it for ourselves to make it right so we can continue interacting with it, if we so choose (tldr: retcon some shit when it’s fucked up in canon).

now, before someone argues that “it’s fantasy medieval world, medieval relationships between men and women were just like that,” believe me, i am aware. i study ancient greece/rome and men who were in their 30s were most often paired with women in their teens as part of their arranged marriages. that is how their ancient societies functioned more than 2000 years ago. the issue is that this is a fantasy world, in which societal norms and laws do not have to conform to real-life earth history, and this is the work of a modern writer writing in the 1990s. it’s not “just how the times were,” it’s deliberately choosing to include an age gap like that to be something canonically acceptable by their society/ies.

also, one could argue that the age gap would be fine once they are older, like, when ciri becomes an adult she is already medievally-style betrothed to cahir so they start dating when she’s like 20 and he’s like 27. eh... that’s still an uncomfortable age gap, at least for when they’re in their 20s. people in their older 20s have more life experience than people in their younger 20s. but at least it wouldn’t land cahir in modern-day jail.

it’s still just an uncomfortably large age gap, and if you think about it, it’s even creepier considering that cahir met ciri when she was a helpless child around 10 - 11 and it just makes the bathing scene excruciatingly creepy too if you put it in the context that he eventually would fall in love with her. it even begins to not be about strictly age, but about life experience, development, and power imbalance within the relationship. i mean, he did literally kidnap her.

cahir in tos calls ciri a “woman” when she is like, 15 or 16 (with the rose tattoo) (to anyone reading, please don’t come at me with that “the age of consent is 15 in poland, just because it’s 18 in the US doesn’t mean your laws and culture apply to everyone” ... please do not try and justify this with laws, legality is not morality. only saying this because i’ve seen it in other posts). like.... hm! don’t like that! she is a teenager... he is in his 20s... this should not be occuring.

sorry for the loooong explanation, but every time someone brings up the subject of age gaps on tumblr it turns into crazy discourse with everyone trying to justify it.

but yeah, CANONICALLY cahir would have been 16-21 (median 18) when he met ciri at 10-11, and 20-25 (median 23) when he declares his love for her at 15-16. that’s ... not good ... to put it more into perspective, these are their ages on a traditional school system path: a 18 year old is a high school senior, an 11 year old is a 6th grader. a 23 year old has been out of college for 2 years, a 16 year old is a high school sophomore. ITS NOT GOOD

my other problem with canon cahiri: it’s boring and contradicts sapkowski at his own game.

all of the witcher is about taking fantasy tropes and inverting them, like you can’t have some random peasant kill a dragon, you’d need a professional, and also guess what, the dragon isn’t evil but a dad trying to protect his wife and child.

all of the characters in the hansa (as well as the four main characters of geralt, yennefer, ciri, and dandelion) are inversions of the tropes they represent. for some examples, milva’s trope is something like the hot action girl who only exists to be the only girl in the company and to be sexy eye candy. instead of falling into this, she is actually an action girl, not bothering with sexiness and appeal to the gaze of a male audience but a “get shit done” type, who also dresses and acts “like a man.” regis’ trope is all vampire tropes ever. he/vampires in the witcher doesn’t/don’t fall into any of the traditional european vampire myths like burning in sunlight, needing to drink blood to stay alive, being disdainful of humanity, having aversions to garlic, belonging to a super-secret orderful society that lurks in the shadows and controls everything like puppetmasters, etc... instead, he is the epitome of redemption arcs and overall “goody-goodiness,” understands humanity perfectly and does things out of his good nature. i already talk about regis too much, so i’ll quit it.

cahir is an inversion of every knight trope ever, particularly the evil knight. he scars ciri’s memory as a night terror, but actually is not ... a bad person. he’s just some guy, pressured by his family and his society to do what he saw as an assignment like a college kid might see their final essay assignment posted on canvas. except you know. the final exam was to kidnap a girl. and he got an F on that and failed the course (ie got thrown in prison). ANYWAYS, cahir is meant to be this inversion of the knight tropes, so WHY, WHY, WHY make him become the knight trope of being the one to romance and to save a hapless princess? if we’ve learned anything about ciri, it’s that she’s the inversion of the princess trope! she KILLS PEOPLE. she ALMOST KILLED CAHIR. she can defend herself and kill for herself, she doesn’t need the knight trope going to protect her!

heterosexual romance as the Big Reason and Motivation behind all of a character’s actions is tiring, annoying, boring, and not well-thought out. it’s so base and not unique, it doesn’t fit in with everything else about the witcher.

how i would fix it: not make them fall in love.

cahir already HAS a motivation to find ciri and to help her. he needs to APOLOGIZE. he needs to say, hey, i’m sorry i kidnapped you and ruined your life, i made peace with your dad, he doesn’t wanna kill me anymore, i can only hope that you can forgive me too after i SET THINGS RIGHT.

as opposed to regis’s arc (i swear i am not playing favorites with regis, i just tend to compare and contrast regis and cahir’s redemptions because they are quite different yet they join the hansa side by side so they’re bound to be compared), cahir actually can find the one (not many) people he wronged, and set things right on his own accord, not go forth with a larger mission to assist all humanity, or whatever.

i think cahir also had this WONDERFULLY UNDERUTILIZED anti-imperialist message as part of his character that pains me to see being swept under the rug for some cheap lame romance story. sapkowski already created some anti-war sentiments with the battle of the bridge in baptism of fire, and he tried to create anti-racism sentiments throughout the book/at the end of lady of the lake. anti-imperialism fits with the rest of the saga as a message.

the fact that cahir was instructed by his family to hate the northern kingdoms, despite the fact that they were related to northerners, is really profound as something to happen to a character, and holds a lot of meaning in today’s society. the fact that he broke, finally, after he lost ciri, just completely lost his mind and had to be restrained because he was wailing so hard, because of the pressure that this society put him under to succeed and achieve pride for his family, is such a great example of the tragedies of society. then he speaks out against his leader and is jailed... and yet, after this, he gets to learn from his mistakes and redeem himself as a good person, and his character has developed SO much. he is not doing what his country wants him to do, he is not doing what his family wants him to do. he is doing what he wants to do because it is the RIGHT thing to do. that already is such a powerful message, he doesn’t need anymore character motivation!

so yep that’s my thoughts on why cahir is a good character asides from all that forced romance biz

#ask #cahir #ciri #master-dellamorte

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surveys-at-your-service · 4 years ago

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Survey #314

“as above, so below / what you reap is what you sow / what you give comes back threefold / as above, so below”

What do you do for work? I'm currently unemployed. I only get paid now and again to do pictures for people. What would you ideally like to do for work? I'd love if I could just be a photographer. What are you doing in order to achieve this? Practice and shoving my extreme discomfort about it aside and trying to promote myself where possible and not in an overbearing manner. What do you think is the worst being on the planet? "Rapists, pedophiles, abusive people in general." <<<< This. Anyone who disrespects the existence of other and equal people. Have you ever been arrested? If so, what for? No. How big an age gap is between you and your siblings? My immediate sisters and I are two years apart. My half-siblings, I don't know. I don't have their ages memorized, but I do know 5+ years, some even 10. Do/did your siblings cause trouble? Not really, we were good kids. What's your dream vehicle? I don't really have one. Are you good at taking care of your finances? What finances? And I don't mean that happily. What's your favorite comic strip? I don't have one. How many people have you texted today? Zero. Someone cheats. Second chance? Nope, byyyyeeeee. Thoughts on kids? Clay that I'm not playing with. Are you a risk taker? No. What are you listening to? I'm currently going through a phase of playing The Evil Within 2's theme nonstop, jc. Is/Was your high schools dress code strict? Not like, mega strict, but it still was overboard. No spaghetti strap shirts, and I even once got in trouble for wearing a floral mesh shirt, despite having a normal tanktop underneath it. It was weird, like no one had ever had a problem with it before, it was just this one teacher that I passed in the hall. Who was the last person to request you on a social media network - and did you accept? Someone I didn't know, so obviously not. Who was the last person’s vehicle that you rode in? Mom's. Who was the last person to make you laugh or smile, and why? Another current obsession of mine: John Wolfe, another let's player who I think is super funny. He said something that made me snicker before I turned on music and started this. Who was the last person that you took a photo with? My half-sister while she was visiting. Who was the last person to pay you a compliment, and what did they say? In group therapy the other day, one of the other women told me that even if I don't believe it, I bring so much positivity to group and she was really happy to be there while I am. I was so so super flustered but flattered, too. Who’s the last person that you visited in the hospital? My mom, following her surgery. Who is the last person that you lent money to? Actually today to Mom. What was the last food that you ate? I warmed up a burger for dinner. What did the last pair of footwear that you wore look like? They're just black flipflops. What was the last kind of bread that you ate? Just plain white bread. What was the last app that you downloaded to your phone? Oh wow, I never do this. I want to say it was a game for my niece. When was your last work shift? I haven't worked in a long time, so idk. When is the last time that you had trouble falling asleep? This is literally every single night. When was the last time you saw a significant other? I ain't got one'a those. When’s the last time that you took a risk? What was the risk? Well, I did say I'm not a risk-taker... Where was the last place that you went on vacation to? You know, how long does it have to be to be considered a "vacation?" I would say not since I went to the beach with an old friend, but it was literally a day. Where was the last place you got lost? uhhhhhhh Why did your last relationship fail? We need to work on ourselves before we could properly support each other and stay in a healthy mindset. Why did you leave your last job? I couldn't handle the stress of serving people and having so many responsibilities at once. How long has it been since you last visited a doctor? How about a dentist? I literally went to the doctor today because I had a follow-up appointment about my weight gain again. I haven't been to the dentist in a few months; I had a normal cleaning my last visit. How big was the last fish you caught? Oh boy, this is stretching years back. It was probably something small, idr at all. Give me the first initial of your last name? D. Something in your home that’s on its last leg(s)? We just moved here, so nothing that's a part of the house itself. As far as items we actually own, idk. Where do you purchase most of your clothes? I haven't gotten new clothes in so long, idk. I would probably say Hot Topic. Describe your skincare routine. I don't have one, if I'm being honest. I just shower. What’s your typical morning routine look like? I don't have one of those, either. The only thing that's consistent is going to the bathroom, eating, and taking my meds. Even brushing my teeth, the time of day when I do that (if I'm not leaving the house) varies. Then it's time to just binge stuff on YouTube and do whatever on the laptop... Are you still playing Animal Crossing? I've never played it, actually. How has the pandemic specifically affected you? It's caused a lot of stress worrying about my mom falling ill, given her being immunocompromised. It's also held me back from searching for another job (even though I don't know what I'd go for, anyway...), because I absolutely refuse to risk bringing Covid into this house by leaving it daily or whatever. What is your main source of anxiety? Being mentally ill, really. It just affects a lot. Any bands or artists you’ve recently discovered? Not very recently, no. What kind of games do you play on your phone? Just Pokemon GO nowadays. Do you have a specific aesthetic? It varies. I love dark, gothic, and gory stuff, but then I also love everything pink and pastel?????? Pastel gore is especially where it's at. Describe the moment you realized you were falling in love with someone. I'd rather not. What’s your favorite sparkling water brand/flavor? I've never even tried it before. What’s your favorite makeup brand/brands? I don't wear nearly enough makeup to be even remotely familiar with any. What’s your all-time favorite movie? It'll probably always be The Lion King. Do you have any subscription boxes? No, but they're cool. What fictional creature would you like as a pet? On deviantART today I actually discovered a fantastic artist who does a lot of HTTYD fanart, and I would say as a dragon lover, Toothless would be soooo great. Have any local businesses closed that you’re sad about? I'm certain tons have closed, but none come to mind. How do you feel about TikTok? I don't feel anything about it. Did you/do you still have a Neopets account? Haha I've had like... two or three at different stages in my life. What were you doing at 9 o'clock this morning? That's actually when (virtual) group therapy starts. Are you wearing any jewelry? Yeah; my piercings (if you count them) and then two rings that I always have on. Are you good at hiding disappointment? No. I'm bad at hiding my emotions because they're so strong. What happened the last time you cried? lmaooo I was finishing watching a The Evil Within 2 LP yesterday, and like, the last hour or so of the game just rips me apart. I was hoping so bad that my mom didn't pass by and ask what the problem was. What would your parents be surprised to learn about you? Both would be stunned to know the situation I had with Joel/my former best friend's boyfriend when I was around 12. What fictional character do you have the biggest crush on? dARKIPLIER Where would you live if you could live anywhere in the world? When all things are considered, like laws, seeing family, etc., somewhere in Canada, or maybe Alaska. Actually, Alaska would be really cool. What after school activities did you do in high school? I didn't have any, if you mean like, school sports and clubs. I did do dance once or twice a week, but it wasn't tied to my school. What’s the last book you really loved? I positively adored The Handmaid's Tale. If you could have been a child prodigy what would you have wanted to be skilled at? My writing was seen as very exceptional for my age as a kid, but it still would've been awesome if it was even better. If earth could only have one condiment for the rest of time, what would you pick to keep around? Uhhh I guess ketchup. I use that the most of all options. What is the scariest experience you have ever had? The night of the breakup. It was such an impossible concept to me that I genuinely thought my life was over, that I'd pull the plug at any moment. Who is a non-politician you wish would run for office? Oh, hunny, Markiplier lmao. Call it a bias all ya want, but he's just a genuinely incredible person that cares so much for everyone and is so serious about equality and just being a good person. Do you think it’s important to stay up to date with the news? It's very hypocritical of me to say, but yes, regardless. Do you own plants? If so, what kind of plants? If not, would you like to grow any? I've never been into growing plants, honestly. Is there a city that you have a particular fondness for? If so, what city is it and why? No, not really. When was the last time that you acted impulsively? Is this a common behavior for you? I dunno, I've gotten better at this. I probably said something I shouldn't have. If you received an allowance as a kid, what kinds of things would you buy with it? Were you more the type to save up for something big, or spend it on little things? I didn't get one. When you cuddle with someone, how do you prefer to position yourself? Would you rather be held, or do the holding? Or both? Are we sitting or lying down? Either way I think I have a tendency to lay my head on their chest while hugging them, and my legs generally curl up. If I'm upset, I definitely feel better and just a greater sense of safety if I'm the one being held, but if the roles are swapped, then I like to be the one doing the holding because I know that's what I want when I'm upset, so treat others how you wanna be treated, y'know. When you woke up today, did you find unread messages from anyone? No. Have you recently told anyone that you miss them? Yes. Can you recall the last time you turned down an offer, of any kind? Mom asked if I wanted to come with her to Ashley's a few days ago, but I said no. I wasn't in a social mood at all. Is there anyone you interact with every day on social media? No. What was the main character's name in the last fictional book you read? Sunny. Have you ever been rejected by a church? No. Is your family nice to you? Yeah. Are you comfortable with your gender? Yeah. What was your favorite Mary-Kate and Ashley film? I don't remember; we had a couple, though. What was your favorite book you had to read for school? The Outsiders. What was your favorite Nickelodeon show? ngl, I don't remember a lot of them and don't feel like looking up a list. Do you still live in the house you grew up in? No. Which Spice Girl was your favorite? I don't remember their names. Do you think you look the best you've ever looked? Oh hell no. Have you been hurt by religion? Yes, honestly. In Truth or Dare, would you rather choose Truth or Dare? I always choose "truth." Have you ever had more than one crush at once? Yeah, I think that's perfectly normal to feel, even for someone monogamous like myself. Just when you establish a relationship, then it's time to make a choice. What social issue do you care about most? This is hard to say with how passionately I hold my opinions, but probably LGBTQ+ rights. It's just... so disgusting to me that I was once homophobic. It's like I want to make up for it. Just the idea of being repulsed by love just because someone has "the wrong thing" in their pants is just... appalling. When was the last time you read a Bible? Many, maaaany years ago I started reading it, but I didn't get very far at all. Do you own a Bible? I personally don't, but I know Mom has one, maybe multiple. Do you discover new music regularly? No; I very much stick to what I know. It's great when I do, though, given that that's how I find new songs to repeat to the grave. What does your first name mean? "Of Britain" or something like that. What country do you live in? U.S.A. Do you believe that gays are born that way? Uh, yes? Who honestly believes a homosexual would *choose* to be in the discriminated minority? People are murdered and abused for simply their sexuality; no sane person would "choose" to risk that torture.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''as above so below'' by in this moment

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julemmaes · 5 years ago

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Today is World Autism Awareness Day

And my dear lady here (@tyherondaletrash) had the amazing idea of writing something Ty related to make this day special for her favourite baby boy, so we asked a few people if the cared to join our project and about twenty people answered our call. We posted fanarts and one shots and edits and headcanons (you can find them all here).

I hope you enjoy my part as much as I enjoyed reading the others and starring at the drawings cause we put ourselves into this.

Word count: 3,308

It was one of the coldest winter days ever in Los Angeles.

That afternoon it had even rained for a few minutes and the Blackthorns, who had gone out for a walk on the beach, had to run to seek shelter and by the time they reached the Institute they were completely soaked.

Julian had forced Tavvy to go take a shower, seeing that his younger brother had already planned to sprawl on the first free couch and sit there all evening, and Cristina had to drag her boyfriend Mark and Emma up the stairs, who had begun to jump into the puddle of mud and sand that had created at the entrance. Kieran had shaken his head, but his girlfriend had noticed the amused smile that had hovered over his lips before he mumbled Shadowhunters whispering, watching the two blondes in the group.

Ty had moved almost immediately, avoiding the splashes, but Kit and Dru, who had complained all the way to their rooms, had not been as careful and had spotted legs, which made Emma laugh satisfied. Although, almost an hour later, when the trio walked by the entrance, they saw her cleaning the floor, swearing against Julian that he must have told her something about setting a good example. Luckily, Mark was there with her, so at least she could complain to someone.

Ty, being careful not to trip over the bucket of dirty water, headed to the salon, where they would have had a party that same night. He didn’t realize that Kit and Dru were lagging behind, but he heard voices become more distant and realized that he was alone.

A large group of Shadowhunters would have arrived to investigate the unusual demonic activity that had been reported at the foot of the mountains, and Ty, who was among the first to gather information about what was happening, would have helped during the missions.

He entered the main hall and was surprised. Cold-colored tents came down from the windows like waterfalls and the tables, strategically positioned on either side of the room to give space to a dance floor, had already been set.

Cristina was giving orders right and left to the staff, with a crumpled sheet in her hand, and Julian was helping Kieran move a black piano to the center of the room.

His brother saw him and with a shake of the hand made him sign to approach. "Would you help us out?" Julian asked, arranging the bench so that it would be ready for anyone who would play that night. Ty nodded and continued to watch the blue and violet rustles hanging from every wall. "We have to put a viola and two violins and they’re all still in the music room, so could you go?"

Kieran looked at Julian with an expression that seemed slightly frightened, "Don’t forget the-"

"The guitar, Ty!" cried Cristina across the room. The voice resounded throughout the institute. All three guys winced. "Julian the guitar! Please, they have specified it so many times." The girl seemed exasperated and even though she had just showered, it looked like she had just finished running a marathon from how sweaty she was.

"I still don’t understand why musicians shouldn’t carry their instruments with them, but okay." Emma said behind his back, taking him by surprise.

"No questions asked, Emma, let’s be good hosts and give them a guitar." Cristina retorted approaching the group, who was waiting for orders to be given. "We’ve already ruined the surprise of the party, the least we can do is satisfy a few small requests."

"I’m going to get it." Ty announced, starting to walk away.

Kit followed him without thinking it twice, "I’m coming with you."

Cristina had already started giving other directions, "Mark, there should be other boxes in the library, you think about those. Dru, go call Tavvy, everyone has to help. Julian, Emma..." the girl’s voice got lost in the hall.

"So? How are you feeling?" Kit asked, looking at him sideways.

"How do I feel about what?" asked Ty sincerely confused, not understanding what his friend was referring to.

They had found each other again almost a year earlier and the meeting was sudden and completely unexpected. They had solved their problems in a simple way, even though the emotions in play weren’t, at all, and now they were in a limbo that even Ty could not decipher and this sometimes put him under stress, because he did not know how to behave in the presence of the other.

"For the party tonight." answered Kit, "I, um, I remember you didn’t like being in crowded places." he said scratching his forearm.

"Oh." whispered Ty. "I guess it’ll be quiet. There won’t be many people and the music will be more classical, considering the choice of musicians." he opened the door of the music room, taking two long steps towards the part where they kept the string instruments.

"Wow. I didn’t know you had so many instruments here. I’ve never seen any of you play." exclaimed the blonde.

"Emma’s father tried to teach her how to play the violin when she was little, but she wasn’t good at it, and she never tried again." Ty replied, taking the only guitar that was there. "We Blackthorns have always had other hobbies." He saw Kit nodding, as he tried to look everywhere but at the figure of Ty. They returned to the main hall in silence.

They finished fixing everything and then Helen, who had spent the last hours checking that every room had the necessary with Aline, sent everyone to get ready and announced that the guests would arrive a half hour later. Anyone who wanted could go with her to welcome them when they would arrive through the portal and Ty saw with some relief that even Dru seemed little inclined to the idea.

He had changed and wore a pair of elegant black pants accompanied by a simple white shirt. Dru had passed by a few minutes before proposing he wears a tie, but he had decided not to wear it. He was wearing black shoes, and the whole thing made him even more handsome than usual. Not that Ty cared much, he only did it because Aline threatened them all in case they ruined "her wife’s party," as she called it.

He was going down the stairs when he heard the noise of dozens of feet slamming on the floor. Well, the guests had arrived. He began to open and close his fists. He forgot to take his headphones, and it was too late to come back, because Mark was making weird hand gestures to tell him to join them.

He arrived at the entrance where Julian was helping the last Shadowhunter out of the portal to stabilize. The girl had a pale face and looked about to throw up so Ty looked away, focusing on a movement that had caught his eye in the garden. He approached the window overlooking the desert, but saw nothing suspicious and after a few more seconds of observation decided that there were no animals or demons around the Institute, and that the sensors were working.

The introductions began, and he would just nod his head to anyone. He had noticed that most were young, as it was meant to be, but there was a particularly high number of adults. Normally in these missions they sent the kids with little experience and only one or two with a few more years of fighting behind, to supervise the situation.

Unusual, Ty thought, thinking about asking his brother Julian if they had discovered something that he had missed.

A good part of the guests had arrived a few minutes before and some were already dressed for dinner, with elegant clothes and lavish shoes. It wasn’t every day the Los Angeles Institute was dyed a thousand colors. In the midst of all the whips and hairstyles he could see the rag of concealed weapons.

He felt a hand resting on his shoulder and turned to find Kit smiling at him, his eyes sparkling, "You look handsome dressed like this." Ty looked at him and saw that they wore the same clothes, only that Kit had decided to wear a blue tie that surprisingly captured the color of his eyes.

"You too." he allowed himself to say, and Kit’s smile widened.

"Come on, before these cockroaches invade our house and steal all our food." the blond said whispering, pushing him towards the hall, from where a slight melody came.

Ty was about to correct him, but a voice behind them preceded him, "Actually, it’s the locusts that invade places, but, yes, we should hurry." Dru gave them both a broad smile and Ty greeted her with his hand, smiling in turn. She was wearing a dress with long sleeves of a dark grey and very simple.

Kit snorted, "Yeah, whatever."

When they entered the room, the atmosphere was quite different from what it had been a few hours before, when Cristina was about to have a nervous breakdown. The girl was now arranging the last place cards on the tables, but unlike before, she now had a completely relaxed expression and seemed to float with that cream dress of hers.

Ty seemed to start accusing the noise, the absence of headphones on his head was heavier than when he was wearing them. He put his hand in his pocket, hoping to find one of Julian’s games, but it was empty. He felt his back stiffen, trying to focus on the music and the people that were playing. The melody immediately overwhelmed him, but he kept hearing people’s chatter and mumbling, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t isolate that roar.

He was going to turn around, go back up to his room and get his headphones, a book, anything to distract himself, when he saw Dru stop beside him and her features hardened.

When she spoke, she sounded threatening, "What is she doing here?" Kit and Ty followed her gaze to the table that was closest to the windows.

There, between four girls the two of them had never seen, was Paige Ashdown. And she was looking at them head-to-toe with a grimace of disgust on her lips. She turned to her friends and when they turned around again they all had an amused face.

"She’s part of the LA community, Dru. Helen told me that the other families in the city would come too." Ty replied, murmuring, as if he were afraid that Paige might hear him, looking at a flickering leaf of one of the centerpieces.

"Who is she?" Kit asked, squinting his eyes, trying to remember if that face was familiar.

"Paige Ashdown." Emma answered behind them. Dru jumped lightly, holding a hand to her chest and Kit cursed softly. But Emma was focused on Ty, a look that said ‘don’t touch my family or I’ll kill you’ in her eyes, "If she tells you anything, you tell me and I’ll take care of it."

Ty knew that taking care of something didn’t really mean that she would take care of that, and that it was actually a way of saying that she would beat her or kick her out of the Institute, but that thought wasn’t enough to calm him down.

He took a step back to the door, trying to talk. He didn’t like being stared at, and right now he felt five pairs of eyes burning on him.

The voices had become even louder. He cleared his voice and said, "Sorry, I forgot to take something. I’ll be right back."

He heard Kit call for him, but he did not turn around and quickly got past the people still crowded at the entrance who were heading very slowly to their rooms.

He opened the door of his room, slammed it, and ran in, grabbing the headphones and starting the music, and with his other hand he looked for his ball of rope in the drawer.

He was taking deep breaths while playing with the ball and when in his head it seemed to him that there was enough order he decided that he could go back down, but he would not enter the salon, no. He had to go out and get some fresh air.

He reached the edge of the desert and had almost completely calmed down, when he saw something moving behind one of the bushes in their garden. He snuck up, tried to make as little noise as possible, and avoided scaring any kind of animal that was hidden there.

The tail that sprouted from behind the leaves was very similar to that of a fox, but the color was more reminiscent of that typical of the coyotes. It couldn’t have been Irene, because it was too thick and not spotted.

"It’s a kit fox."

Ty nearly jumped up in the air like Dru did mere minutes before. He turned around and brought a hand to his belt, clenching his fist on a dagger. The sudden movement frightened the fox, that with two quick sprint was already running in the desert, away from Ty.

The girl who spoke, who Ty recognized almost immediately, covered her mouth to hold a giggle, "I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. I always feel sick when I travel by portal and when I went out to get some air, it was near the entrance." she said referring to the fox. She sat on the ground and hher long, blond hair was left loose. Ty found himself thinking that Emma’s were much more beautiful, more alive, but he relaxed, taking his hand off the knife and bending over to pick up the ball that he had dropped.

"What’s your name?" she asked him, sitting on the rock with her hands between her knees. She had a vague French accent, but it wasn’t as pronounced as you’d expect from a native speaker, she was probably raised in America, like him.

"I am Tiberius Blackthorn." He answered, looking at the dry land in front of him, hoping that the fox would come back and let him come near it.

"Oh, you’re Julian and Helen’s brother." she smiled.

Ty nodded, "And Drusilla, Mark and Octavian’s."

"Sure." she giggled.

"What’s your name?" Ty asked standing in front of her. Aline would surely scold him if he soiled his pants before dinner.

"Oh, yeah, sorry. I’m Cléa Dubois."

Ty looked at her for a moment, nodding, and then, in a quieter tone, he confessed, "I had never seen a kit fox near here."

"Macrotis vulpes." she basically blurted out. Ty turned surprised towards her. "It’s not so common around here, it’s more likeable to be found in central Mexico and inland, not so close to the LA coast." Ty noticed that she was blushing, and was certain that the girl was embarrassed when she started playing with the ring on her middle finger.

"It’s strange that it’s in this area. It’s also mating period, it really shouldn’t be here." This time it was Ty who spoke and, even though he wasn’t looking at Cléa, he noticed that she had stopped fidgeting.

"Do you like animals too?" she asked with hope.

The boy kept looking at the landscape, "I love them."

"Oh, lucky me. I get unbearable when I start talking about stupid canids and birds of strange colors and-"

Cléa couldn’t finish the sentence, because Ty interrupted her, maybe a little abrupt, "They’re not stupid." He started playing with the ball again, a frown formed between his eyebrows, "This just got lost."

The girl blinked a couple of times, surprised by the tone of the other. "I- Yes, sorry. I didn’t mean to offend the canids. They’re my favorite family of mammals." She tried to clarify, "For real, sorry."

Seeing that Ty did not answer, she didn’t speak anymore, and the silence that arose was a bit tense, but they both seemed to enjoy the desolate desert that extended before them.

They stayed there and after a few minutes Ty heard someone call his name. He turned in time to see Kit running in his direction, with wheezing breath and a worried expression on his face.

"Where the hell have you been?" he panted, "We’ve been looking for you for 20 minutes."

Ty imagined that ‘we’ includeed all his siblings, "I’m sorry." he said sincerely. "I went to my room to get the headphones and then I went out, I didn’t realize it had been so long."

Kit rubbed his hand on his face, sighing loudly, but then Cléa sneezed so hard that the blond jumped into the air, practically flying in front of Ty to protect him from any lurking danger.

The girl burst into laughter and even Ty found himself smiling in front of Kit’s terrified face.

"And you are?" Kit asked slightly relieved that he didn’t have to fight some weird demon.

"Nice to meet you, Cléa Dubois. You’re Christopher, aren’t you?" Kit nodded, always with frowny eyebrows.

"How do you know him?" Ty asked, moving from behind the friend, to be seen by the girl.

"I am very interested in everything that concerns fairies." she said in a flat tone, getting up and cleaning her hands on her jeans. "So I was surprised when I found out your story. You’re the reason I came here, actually."

It was Ty’s turn to stand in front of Kit. He felt his friend’s hand resting on his back. There were only a handful of people who knew about the lost heir, and the fact that this unknown girl knew about his whole story was concerning.

"And what exactly do you want to do to me?" threatened Kit.

Cléa seemed confused, "I’m not trying to intimidate you. I want to help you."

The hand on Ty’s back slipped away.

The boy could not understand, but before he could ask for anything else, Cléa interrupted him, "But we will talk about it in a… safer place, maybe even with the others. For tonight, I’d rather eat something warm and talk about animals with you, if that’s okay." she first turned to Kit and then to Ty, and with that friendly smile, she went inside.

"Now, I’m afraid." Kit bit.

Ty hadn’t really heard him, he was still too focused on the girl, too upset to understand if she was a threath or not. And yet, when he spoke, he said the thing that made him trust her more, "She likes canids."

Kit moved in front of him, with an eyebrow raised. "What?"

"We met a kit fox." said Ty, with his eyes glimmering. "She knew what animal it was. I don’t think she’s bad."

"And so, if she likes dogs, she can’t be totally evil, you say?" Kit started heading up the stairs.

Ty followed him, reaching him in a short time, "She likes all canids, not just dogs. And the two things are barely connected. Why can’t a serial killer or a super villain like dogs?"

"I was just saying. Do you want to go to dinner?" Kit asked as they entered the warmth of the Institute, the voices already too loud even for the blonde’s taste.

Ty shook his head, "Let’s get some food and go to the roof. I don’t want to see Paige."

"I’d warn Julian first." Kit said walking towards the hall, then stopped and turned to Ty with an amused smile, "Do you want me to call the dog lady?"

"No, I’d rather be with you." the black-haired boy answered sincerely.

Kit nodded and Ty thought that yes, Cléa would have to wait the next day to dump the mess that was their lives on him.

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