#abusing the tags rn

[querade]

no bc the funniest thing on ao3 is how every fandom has personalized the ‘no beta we die like ___’ tag. bc sometimes it’s the most heartbreaking death and sometimes it’s the spilled lasagna from episode 4 and either way I’m dying of laughter

[xy-is-i]

Just thinking about Dick freaking out over losing his title of best uncle to Jason.

Dick showing up to take Lian out and give Roy a break only to hear she's having a fun day with Jason

Dick walking into the room with the toy he knows Lian really wanted, only to find out Jason got it for her first.

Dick showing up to game night at Roy's only to find Jason already there.

Just Dick getting increasingly frustrated and his rival Jason having no clue well the the rest watch on in humor and exasperation. Roy finds the who thing hilarious.

Picturing it all coming to a head when Dick is babysitting Lian and she shows him a new photo they put up. Dick all dejectivly being like, "look, it's you and your favorite uncle."

The pure shock and joy he feels when Lian tells him he wrong and her favorite uncle is "you uncle Dickie, duh!"

The door opening and Lian shouting "Papa!" As dick turns to excitedly tell Roy what Lian said only to see it's Jason who's holding Lian.

Dick just bluescreening.

[voidyyzz]

Just found out the robloxconfessions2 blog is a proshipper /vneg

fuck my stupid baka life!!!!! /ref

[kitchenwhere]

Love this freak

[tequiilasunriise]

I love when the toxic yuri is absolutely DOOMED by the narrative and they’re so in love they’re going through a divorce they are seeing each other in full for the first time they’re each other’s first (and last) love they’re gay and kissing and gay they’re still signing those divorce papers and yeah these is all happening at the same time

[beanghostprincess]

I gotta say it bothers me an insane amount when people refer to the Vinsmoke Brothers as "grown-ups" and say they were old enough to know what they were doing during WCI. Because despite agreeing on the fact that yes, they are abusers and Sanji has all the right in the world to not forgive them, the thought of them being irredeemable, especially emphasizing their age... Feels wrong.

People seem to think that once you turn 18 you're all grown-up and aware of your own actions, but when you've been manipulated and used and abused since the day you were born, no you are not. Abuse stops your normal growth and understanding of your surroundings and the development of a personality. And I am not saying they didn't know any better or justifying shit because they are awful people and there's no excuse for what they did to Sanji. But their whole story is about how they didn't grow up at all and are used as machines, and about how Sanji grew up too fast.

Sanji knew what torture was at the age of 8 but his brothers don't know what actual love is being 21. And I think both situations are extremely fucked up.

Referring to somebody (especially somebody who has grown up in a toxic environment) as mature and an adult (as an excuse to say they are aware of what they're doing completely) when they're 21 is just so wild to me because first, the didn't have a chance to grow up at all, and second, it's just 21 how the hell is 21 that old for you? People justifying the actions of teenagers but suddenly deeming people in their early twenties as "old enough to know better" is stupid. You don't turn 18 and suddenly become aware of good and bad out of nowhere. They were clearly caged and trapped in that cycle of abuse and didn't grow up at all.

Neither Sanji nor the viewers have to forgive the Vinsmoke brothers for their behavior at all, but you can admit somebody is redeemable and had a shitty life and they're the way they are because of their abuse without actually justifying their actions or forgiving them. Yes, fuck the Vinsmoke brothers. They're horrible people. Sanji should hate them and if the story ever makes him forgive them I will be extremely furious, I would despise that. But acting as if they were inherently evil and being +18 made them mature and emotionally aware all of a sudden is just not understanding their characters in the slightest.

[pjsk-headcanons]

omg i have so many hcs for the characters and video games. warning this is probably the longest ask ill ever write

ichika - big classic sonic fan, also likes rhythm games (like rhythm heaven n stuff)

saki - played a lot of pokemon in the hospital bcs tsukasa would bring her his gameboy and pokemon ruby (or smtg) bcs once he showed her a surskit and she begged him to let her play bcs it was cute. she is now a die hard pokemon fan

honami - doesnt really play video games but she has lets go eevee and a bunch of eeveelution and pikaclone plushies

shiho - plays like everything, but she especially likes fighting games and ace attorney. also plays every mario game when it comes out but only bcs "of how popular he is"

minori - LOVES needy streamer overload and cute rhythm games like melatonin. she also deff plays like harvest moon & stardew valley & stuff

haruka - before she became an idol she would play like silly mobile games but she never really got into games

airi - she is obsessed with the legend of zelda and completes every game on release (unless she has a show) (thats the only exception) shes tried other games simular to tloz but none have really stuck

shizuku - she knows like the basic controls of super smash bros brawl but she sucks like hell

kohane - still cries over abandoning her nintendogs sometimes. she plays a lot of raising animal games and tycoons on roblox sometimes

an - name one rhythm game she hasnt played i dare you. any game that can slightly require musical tallent or a sense of rhythm has been played by her (not in full but like). also she likes warioware

akito - sonic nerd. tails is his fav character with shadow in close second bcs of a middle school phase he went through but shadow stuck as a fav. ena has also played a lot of sonic bcs of this man

toya - wasnt allowed to play video games but vbs and the tenmas are slowly introducing him to those like combining games like tetris and suika game. hes surprisingly good

tsukasa - hyperfixates on pokemon like every other month. he makes a persona for every character he plays and gets emotionally attached and stuff (totally not projecting)

emu - kirby lover!!! also plays splatoon at least every splatfest and cooking games. she deff plays a lot of vr and has liked that job sim vr game with the tv robots

nene - we all know she likes shooting games (but idk that many so bare w me). she deff is the one who introduced emu to splatoon & they always chiose the same splatfest team. she also plays just any arcade shooting games and used to play fortnite but shes more into cos & apex now

rui - rui makes his own video games (rom hacks the shit outa every game he plays) (also has homebrewed his wii and wii u)

kanade - likes low stress games like melatonin and animal crossing. she also plays like stupid sims like bee simulator and placid plastic duck sim (one of her favs). she doesnt like multiplayer games that much though

mafuyu - she had a gameboy advanced that her dad got her when she was younger and she played like any game on clearance bcs her mom would get pissed if a game cost too much. that gamebot is now smashed and sold for parts, so are all the games

ena - HATES sonic with a passion. i wonder whos fault that is. she would always play those dress up games but woukd mess with photoshop and stuff more

mizuki - she wasnt allowed to play like rhythm games or fasion games when she was younger. she was told to play mario, or the legend of zelda, or starfox. she managed to convince her parents to let her play kirby and shes been obsessed ever since

🍼 anon (SO SORRY THAT THIS IS LONGER THEN MY FUCKING BODY)

.

[overleftdown]

if i can be so real for a minute, the saltburn fandom is not very large and not very old... and yet i have had SO many odd convos. usually about farleigh but sometimes about other stuff. i've been called obnoxious so many times for mentioning everything that comes with farleigh's character but it's in the movie for a reason, man. i'm venting. "what does XYZ have to do with this?" bro idk maybe the fact that it was included in the movie, therefore i'm going to bring it up?

class, privilege, sexism, escapism, etc. are all important parts of this movie. so is race. i've gotten the most heat for talking about race and white privilege which is... not surprising tbh. sometimes i just want to be serious when everyone wants to be silly. if your silliness makes you apathetic to the rhetoric of the film and how some of it should be taken seriously... man. ouch. damaging to the psyche tbh.

a lot of the fandom is rly cool but ackkk i've been on my toes. i've been encountering some irl felix cattons...

[plutonicbees]

impulse '95 is a really good comic run bc the homies r just out here having mommy issues

[saetoru]

every time ppl write like one paragraph and tag it with x reader tags i think my eyes roll so far back i regress in age a little

[nerves-nebula]

Hey, I just wanted to let you know that your neglected splinter made me realise a lot about my own grandfather. He’s dead now, but I’m learning so much about him. My little brother basically idolises him because he can barely remember him. He was awful to my gran and my mum. He slapped me. He hid all my brother’s stuff to ‘teach him a lesson’ ( wow, like Donnie and splinter). He was ‘tough because he was French’.

Wow sorry for that massive vent but I just wanted to let you know that your art is really important and you are really amazing. Have a wonderful Christmas and a splendid new year.

-🦖

lol that's fucked. WELP. consider it a christmas gift from ME to YOU

[querade]

late night analysis

thinking about how the doctor (2005) had never fallen in love with a companion aside from rose and river—well river sort of picked him out instead of vice versa, so it's really only Rose...

and that they have such a track record of things going horribly horribly wrong and they've been going down this *path* of closing themselves off to their companions that started off after Rose.

of COURSE they kept their companions at arm's length. They probably think themselves selfish for still having companions around at all when every single one has gotten hurt or worse all because of them.

look at Eleven and how he treats Rory and Amy. 'Don't wander off'. With Twelve he could finally shed his facade and focus on how old he is, and then he found his match with Clara and we know what happened to her.

So Thirteen is back with the same sort of 'life is performance, life is fun presentation' energy that never felt genuine—

because we know what the doctor truly is behind it. And it's not...fun. It's terrifying and hollow and ancient. But of course Thirteen's regeneration is young again, though like Vastra says, that's not for her it's for the sake of those around her. God Vastra is the best. Right on the nose. Thematically a lot of the newer shit in the Flux was about the doctor being pulled in a million different directions and trying to figure out who she, personally, is.

She's lost her sense of self—literally lost her memories and so she's absolutely obsessed solving with this identity crisis…Honestly, the doctor wants to go back to when they were just having fun, so it has to be presented as 'just another puzzle.

Thirteen loves Graham and Ryan and Yaz, oh, she loves Yaz, but knows simply how dangerous the love of the doctor can be.

the thasmin confession works. cause the doctor says they wouldn’t be with anyone but Yaz is close, and that’s does NOT mean the doctor didn’t like her—only that for a being with two hearts, it’s twice the pain when they’re broken.

[crayonverse]

details bout michael n eins dynamic. 2 me (cw physical/emotional abuse, cannibalism, suicide/suicidal idealizations, ableism, self-harm)

michael only refers to himself as eins father when he wants ein to do something, any other time hes just michael .

lets ein not refer to him as sir to make him feel more "special" .

after eins mom broke up w zack she sorta got a bit. out of it. she started neglecting ein and she became depressed. The First Step in ein distrusting others bc his mother stopped paying attention 2 him. michael used a small amount of his magic to control her and make her drown herself in the kitchen sink and then kidnapped ein, making it look like she had killed herself and ein had ran away. .

just as a small thing of me hcing ein as a transguy, michael named him ein bc the meaning of "ian" (which is what his name is just spelled weird) is "God is Gracious" as a constant reminder that michael "saved" ein. .

ein wasnt tested on w forever potions (in the early stages w the other kids) because michael absolutely could not let Zack know he had his other stupid kid. when ein found out about the testing he was extremely upset bc he wasnt "special enough" for it. picture ein 6 years old begging for medical malpractice to be used on him .

he was tested later but as a teen when michael got out, since he didnt have access to the other children. although he wasn't able to use the full potions since he didnt have access to emeralds at the moment, so he used diluted versions of the potions that weren't as powerful via syringes. ein gets a fear needles from it .

when michael n the other two idiots were locked in the pocket dimension ein went through a brief depressive period bc the One Guy he (thought) cared about him disappeared. when michael did get out he didnt tell ein immediately bc he . doesnt like ein but when he found out ein got arrested he told ein that he should stay in jail for a few months to "learn his lesson" .

slightly unrelated but when michael wanted him out of jail he also wanted ein to disappear off the radar so he faked eins death in jail. originally he wanted ein to die in like a riot but ein, sensing an opportunity, asked for it to say he killed himself instead. the opportunity being aphmau half way into her uni course looking up her old high school bullies to see what theyre up to and just finding out ein is Fucking Dead .

the potions michael uses on ein are mainly magic power related (like eins Green Laser) because he likes manipulating ein into doing things rather than using his magic because its "more fun" .

michael subconsciously views ein as his actual son (mcd travis) bc he feels like "this one is a better son" or whatever .

not a specific thing but mother knows best reprise from tangled is a Viewpoint on their dynamic 2 me .

ein is internally scared of michael but he never verbally says that and if anyone asks him if he is he denies it immediately bc he doesnt want pity. you can see it in his eyes though. elizabeth is really the only other person who mentions it but she mostly uses it to make fun of ein because she "doesnt think its that bad" (<- she is unaware) .

bc of michael ein absolutely hates unwarranted physical touch. he reacts violently if anyone grasps his shoulder from behind or touches his upper arms. the only touch he usually allows is people lightly touching his hair/head bc he still registers it as headpats (grabbing his hair usually results in him biting) .

michael usually physically threatens or abuses ein to reprimand him but sometimes he throws ein into the Metaphorical Torture Box for entertainment .

basically most of the things michael does to ein is for his own amusement .

he also heavily dehumanizes ein to convince him to do evil acts, rationalizing it to him as "you arent a person so is it really that bad??" ein does not view himself as an actual person at this point more so as a nameless soldier, a weapon, etc .

i used this for an old fic n stuff too but also michael makes ein commit cannibalism to forcibly dehumanize him more. he wants to make ein feel entirely disconnected from humanity (like michael feels for himself) so ein will basically be a "mini michael" .

ein also consciously copies michaels mannerisms/speech. only really elizabeth n zack notice it however and it just fucking freaks zack the hell out (elizabeth is also freaked out by it but mostly ignores it) .

theres just a general theme of a loss of control for ein in general. he gets a small allowance from michael and hes not allowed out overnight, all his communication is usually internally with the researchers or guardian forces. most of the time ein self isolates from them, viewing them as beneath him and michael. when they try to talk to him its a 50/50 whether he'll tell them to fuck off or he'll hiss at them .

another specific detail is pre s4 ein fucked up a potion and instead of his usual reprimand, michael used pliers to defang ein. in his head its the one thing ein can't rationalize about michaels actions (the one "seed of doubt" he has). he usually makes excuses for michael's actions towards him but being defanged is the only one he struggles with since he knows that michael knows how important his wolf side is to him .

pre s5 and just like at the end of s5 (when ein was seen on the bridge) he was going through another depressive episode bc he missed his ears and tail. he was mainly just going through the motions of his daily life but he was barely holding on. michael repeatedly discouraged ein from committing because the plan would be messed up because of it (michael said that directly to him) and he would imply that ein would be a traitor if he went through with it. .

michael actually flipped between discouraging and encouraging ein to commit to see what he would do. .

he's caught ein self-harming before, w ein attempting to either drown or smother himself. michael doesnt like doing this regularly but most of the time he lets ein hug him so he feels "comforted". other times michael just scolds him and tells him to not do it again. .

i also hc ein as a low empathy autistic (bc # me) and he used to stim very openly and loudly but michael disliked that part of him so he "trained" ein to not stim in public which just results in him being constantly overstimulated, a contributor to Ein being fucking mad all the time. hes like a hair trigger away from a meltdown at all times .

the only method of stimming ein can usually get away w is when he scratches his arms/scabs. unfortunately he doesn't trim his claws and it usually results in ein making himself bleed or reopening scars. michael has attempted to get him to stop doing this but its pretty much a compulsion for ein at this point.

[pharaohbean]

due to a. number of reasons (including but not limited to breakdowns on multiple bodily levels [emotionally i want to cry but mentally i cannot and therefore i only cry for about 5s physically which is Not Enough]) i am currently seeking fluff (sfw only!!) for my ships (tagged). can be on tumblr or ao3 or whatever- tumblr pls dont let me down /lh

comment or reblog with links or titles! im not afraid to go searching lol

[miradelletarot]

Trauma Dump Hours

Apologizing in advance. This is gonna be HEAVY FEELS. I just...need somewhere to put all of my thoughts down so feel free to scroll past this.

**This is HEAVY mental and emotional trauma with mentions of abortion within so please be mindful of the content below the cut**

I have made mentions of my parents before, but never really went into too much detail about my relationship with them because of everything else going on. But, in light of some things that have happened recently, I need to just get these thoughts out in some sort of order...which might not happen but here we are. So my relationship with my parents has been interesting to say the very least. i was raised in a very conservative catholic home. Silent gen dad, and a boomer mom. both very intolerant of anything they don't agree with. My dad is the epitome of hating everything that doesn't align with his beliefs...If you aren't white or straight especially, and do not live the traditional lifestyle that he feels one should abide by. (hopefully that paints a picture for you).

Anyway, I am the baby of my family. My brother is 50 and my sister is 49 (they are a year and 4 days apart). I arrived 12 years later. I was very well and truly an OOPS. My brother is the golden child, my sister, the problem child (former, anyway, but she was definitely more wild than they liked,) and I...well, I had to be the perfect one to do as my parents wanted 100% of the time.

my mom had no self-esteem and raised me to be the same way. never be too confident and sure of myself b/c it was unbecoming to do so. I had to always get good grades, and always follow the rules. If I ever did something wrong, i got the wrath of my father (that stern, military rage). So, as i got older, my mom would hide things from him on my behalf, but only if I did something for her. Things like keeping secrets from dad, hiding mail so she didn't get in trouble with the finances again. If i ever dared to stop doing that shit for her she would blackmail me...would threaten to tell my dad all the shit i did wrong if I stopped helping her. Basically, I was scared and brainwashed into having ZERO autonomy or individuality. If I showed any emotion other than happiness I always had "an attitude." But, I saw my mom's behavior as if she was the only one in my corner...my buddy who kept my secrets for me because no one else would.

I struggled in school, but almost always got As and Bs. I had to work my ass off for it too. Math was always a sore subject that made me and dad lock horns. He's a math wiz, and I'm not. I'm not well read because I HATE reading books. (thanks school for ruining that for me). history? forget it. i have a horrible memory. But, if i ever got a C? holy shit i was a failure in their eyes. I feel like I am so far behind everyone intellectually that it's hard for me to have conversations with people sometimes because I feel like I can't keep up. By the time I got to high school was when I finally started to see what they were doing to me, but I was too afraid to break free. Honestly? i didn't know I had a choice in the matter. When I was in college, I had to be in remedial math. When my dad found out (b/c he was paying for college,) he literally screamed at me in the financial aid office b/c he couldn't believe I was in such a low math class. His apology? "I just worry about you, and i want you to do well." What a fucking joke. Again, in college, I was big into choir. we had a huge spring performance that we NAILED and we wanted to celebrate. So, we carpooled and went to a nearby club. I was barely 20 so i had the wristbands of course. I CALLED my mom to ask if i could go. Told her who i would be with, where i was gonna be, and that it would be WAYYYY late before I get home. Said I would keep my phone in the car b/c I knew i wouldn't hear it or feel it vibrate, but i could call her when I leave even if it was like 3 am. She said no need, and let me go.

So, in I walk at 330 am to both my parents in the living room, and my dad SCREAMING at me that I am just like my sister. out partying at all hours doing "god knows what." I was dumbfounded. My mom didn't even look at me...just sat there as I got ripped into. Wanna know why that happened?? Because SHE PRETENDED SHE NEVER GAVE HER PERMISSION. She told me later that her and dad had to have a "united front" and I had "no right to be mad" at her. When I tell you I leveled my room into an absolute mess that night and cried myself to sleep. the betrayal I felt...as a 20 yr old, a legal fucking adult, and I had no voice. no independence. My relationship with them has gone south ever since.

Of course, several things have happened between now and then. Their relationship is very transactional, and always comes out with me needing to serve THEM for them to be happy. for them to see me as worthy. But, my mom likes to throw it in my face whenever she can about how great my brother is. How stable he is. that bitch is single and has no kids. fuck him. he's an incel anyway.

Mother's day this year was the last straw for me. I called my mom out of obligation. in that 15 minutes she gushed about my brother's financial stability knowing how hard i have been struggling since I left my husband. I told her how proud I was of myself, that I was doing all these things with very little help, and making so much progress in such a short time. her response? As deadpan as possible "Congratulations. You're finally adulting." Finally? FINALLY? Not like I had been trying FOR YEARS when my irresponsible idiot of a husband was the one who had the control. I left my childhood home and walked into another relationship with a person who was just like my parents. A transactional, mentally and emotionally abusive relationship. I was his shadow because i felt like i HAD to be. When he wanted to leave me in 2021 for that very reason i thought i would literally die. That's when I found my spiritual practice. when i started to really change and try to find myself. and yet, he STILL didn't like who I was. Hence, why i finally found the strength in me to leave him back in December. I got no support from my parents. They wanted me to move in with them....ACROSS THE STREET FROM MY EX...just so i could be close to my children. I'm only 15 mins away from them. I see them when I can with the 2 jobs I work for shit pay. I'm busting my ass to pay off my car. Have they ever called in the 6 months I have been gone to ask me how I am??? If I need help?? NO. And why would they?? Between my mom and dad both, I was told on three separate occasions that they wanted to abort me. But I SHOULD BE GRATEFUL THAT THEY DIDN'T. Why would I? I have lived my life feeling like I was never good enough, that i was a worthless burden to the world. All because i was conditioned to believe as such. Thankfully for my sister, she saw through their shit a long time ago, and left home when she turned 18. i wish I understood why back then...but I was a kid. All i knew was how hurt my parents were, or how they seemed to be, and I believed that if I did anything to hurt them i was a bad person. I couldn't be like my sister. because that was a bad thing. But...nothing makes you feel more unloved and unwanted than your parents telling you they didn't want you. Then act surprised when you block them and don't want to speak to them. I can't go thru 38 years worth of shit they did, but this was some of the bigger/more recent stuff. It's amazing i never blocked them sooner (though, being across the street from them at the time was certainly a factor...)

It's why my identity means so fucking much to me. i felt like my name is not my own, my existence isn't my own. Why I want all the labels that I feel make up who I am so i can have some fucking semblance of understanding about what makes me "me."

Aside from spanking as a kid (which was normal back then sadly,) i was never physically abused. i had a roof over my head, I had food when i needed it, I was clean, had nice (not name brand) clothes...all the necessities, but I never *ever* had a healthy grasp on my mental health. never had healthy coping mechanisms for my emotions, and I never felt truly loved by my parents. better seen than heard, and if i was seen it was always to do something that made my parents proud so they could brag about me. I was a trophy. A puppet.

And today, as i sit here, wondering how tf to deal with my parents...I am anxious and scared. i feel like a child all over again, trembling like I am about to be scolded. All because i was conditioned to believe that my feelings were worthless and wrong. I have gotten 2 voicemails today from my dad, telling me I "need" to call them. To explain what's going on. Suddenly, they are worried. Suddenly, they care. But I know it's only for their satisfaction. part of me wants to pour my soul out and light it on fire so they can see how much they hurt me over the years. Part of me wants to pretend they are dead and forget they exist. I am not sure what to do.

So, if anyone ever wonders why Gale means so much to me...why i have such a mental and emotional attachment to his character. this is why. because aside from my 2 bffs, he was the only other entity that made me feel loved and worthy, and it breaks my heart that he isn't real. For now, though, he's a beautiful escape.

idk if I need anything rn...I'm not sure where to go from here. I have no idea what will make me feel better. getting some of it out helps. Being in therapy definitely helps. If you read this then you're a damn trooper...or a glutton for punishment, idk. Either way, thank you for listening to me.

I really don't expect anyone to say anything or even read this. It really isn't necessary. But please know that for the many of you whom I have befriend on here since I joined tumblr...I am grateful for you all. Just being in this space has been so healing for me. thank you.

[cryptcatz]

so sick and tired of constantly stressing over the thought that the people that love me actually don’t or they will inevitably get sick of me eventually because i am inherently unlovable. why can’t my brain just let me be loved in peace? why must i be scared the whole time, waiting for the moment when they abandon me? why can’t i just bask in it while it lasts?