#do u think he ever just looks in the mirror and remembers what it felt like to be called sunshine | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

soft4gguk · 4 months ago

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to build a home | chapter thirteen

Pairing: Jungkook x reader. ceo!jk + dilf!jk x nanny!oc

Genre: strangers to lovers. angst. fluff. smut.

Word count: 9k

Warnings: angst. angst. angst. i’m so sorry. jealousy. self doubt. ira talks im sorry!!! but i felt like it was important. oblivious kookie :/ confused oc!! sad oc :( soori’s teething and it breaks my heart. oral (f receiving) 😈

Author’s note: hi besties!! another tbah sunday! i love being back soo much. this is an odd chapter, i feel. i sort of lost track of time and how much of it i actually had to finish so it’s a bit of a shorter one. it’s missing the final part, sort of. and it was making me anxious! because i wanted to post today. and then i remembered i make the rules so… chapter fourteen is coming no longer than wednesday!! it’s outlined and it’ll be what was missing in this chapter. we’re back to tbah sundays after that tho :) i love u guys so much. do let me know what u think of this chappie, i love book clubbing with yall!! xoxo

This is a work of fiction. Please respect the members and their privacy. x

Chapter Thirteen

When you get home that night, you smell like him. It alters your senses, your body nothing but a phantom touch of where he’d been. You look at yourself in the mirror and laugh at how obvious his mark is. He doesn’t just show on your smudged mascara or your messy hair, no. He’s all over your eyes. You can’t tell if the glint in them is from the remnants of the pleasure he made you feel or from the tears that threaten to fall. And perhaps that’s just what you need. To cry. Not with feminine rage music playing in the background, or in a burst of anger, but just to cry. To let yourself feel whatever it is your heart needs to. You can feel it, the way it screams at you and begs you to just let it be.

So you let it. You shower, letting your tears get lost in the water that falls down your body. You cry when you let yourself release the feeling and you cry when you wash him off your body, his smell going down the drain alongside your anger. Now you’re just sad.

You cry your skincare off and give up on it tonight. You brush your hair until you can’t stare at yourself in the mirror anymore, because it just makes you cry more. For some reason the reflection that stares back at you convinces you that this is why he doesn’t love you. You look like a little child, hopeless and helpless. Eyes puffy, bared faced, in your old pajamas with the faded print that once said, born to be cute. You’ve had them since you were fifteen and all of a sudden, your nostalgic attachment feels dumb. You feel dumb. And pathetic. And sad. Your brain is cruel, letting you know exactly what it thinks. How could he want to be with someone like this? Like you? It’s almost ironic how your words of hatred all originate from words of love. From the words of love he didn’t reciprocate.

You think of Ira, because the streak of cruelty couldn’t just end there. You think of her beauty, of her face. You wonder if she ever felt like this about herself. If she ever stared at the mirror and didn’t feel like the reflection staring back at her was enough. You don’t want to be unfair towards her, but you doubt it. You doubt someone like her could ever walk into a room with uncertain steps and words that faltered. All you can see when you look at her is confidence and beauty. Her and Jungkook made sense together. It almost felt like a perfect trick from the universe – a power move.

You get under your covers, exhausted and with the hints of a headache that threatens to settle aggressively if you kept the tears running. You hug the teddy bear you’d grown emotionally attached to when you were six. It makes you feel pathetic yet again, but it also brings comfort and so you pull it closer to you. You wonder if you’ll ever fully grow up. The heart ache turns into something bigger, something downright existential and it won’t stop. Even if you tell yourself that it’s irrational, that things just look bad right now but won’t be like this forever. The self doubt roots inside of you, growing branches that grow through your body. Will you ever become something out of who you are right now? Will you write a book, buy a house, travel the world, start a family? The last one breaks you with a nature that’s so acute it brings back the tears.

You grab your phone, an intense desire to type Ira Sommersmith into the search bar. You find it kind of funny – to be comparing yourself to someone that you can literally google. When did you ever stand a chance with him, really? When did it ever make sense that he’d choose you? When did it occur to you that you were enough?

Ira was from a small town in Europe you couldn’t pronounce. When she was younger she spent most of her time riding horses, they were her biggest passion. She even says it in an interview after they ask her what she thinks she’d be doing if she wasn’t a model, pondering on it for a second before replying, “I’d be in a farm, riding horses all day.” And even though her hair is perfectly styled and she’s wearing very pointy stilettos, you believe her. Her dreams sound completely valid to you because amidst her sharp features, she has a soft face.

Another article tells you she’d been scouted when she was sixteen. She’d been on holiday in London with her parents – she was an only child – and she’d gotten stopped in the street. In another interview where she talks about this, she laughs timidly when they ask her, her gaze down when she says, “they told me I was beautiful in the way things in important places where. Like magazines and billboards,” she softens the flattery by saying, “if you consider those things to be important, of course.” And it’s during that interview that you realize you can’t hate her. Not because you don’t want to, but because she makes it really hard to.

She’d been on her own ever since – traveling the world, walking the most important catwalks in the most important cities, grazing the covers of every magazine and billboards, she’d even made a couple of movie appearances. You wonder how you could’ve missed her. She seemed to be everywhere. She sits on a makeup chair, two people behind her doing her hair at the same time, while someone else works on her face. She talks about having had a 4 am call time, sleeping very little the night before, being jet lagged and hungry. But she laughs as she says this. You almost laugh, too. The camera man asks her how she keeps up with the hecticness and she doesn’t sit on her words for even a second before she says, “I have a really great support system. My family, my friends. Also, I always keep a snack on me.” The video shows pictures of her, in different settings, with said family and friends. You actually recognize some of the faces – actresses, models, influencers. You pause the video in the middle of a particular frame when you see a face you recognize better than the others. It’s Kenny. It’s probably the picture that dates back the furthest, they both look so young. You type their names into another Google search and their friendship is revealed to you in an almost too perfect of a timeline. They’d been friends since they were eighteen after meeting backstage at a Chanel show. Your eyes widen. A Chanel show. Holy fuck. Who were you acquainted with? Kenny almost looks like a different person behind the camera, her eyes fierce and face cold.

You scroll and scroll until something catches your eye. It’s a paparazzi picture, taken in a big city you don’t recognize. Hobi has his arm around Kenny and Ira and Jungkook hold hands and look into each other’s eyes as they strut down a sidewalk. It looks straight out of a catalog, or something. They’re perfect. Then it’s his name alongside hers that you’re typing into the search bar. You’re surprised to find that their relationship had been quite private, not a lot of information about it on the web besides the basics. Forbes talks about Ira being a model, Vogue talks about Jungkook being the heir to The West End Collection. The anonymity their relationship holds brings some sort of frenzy, though, as you read a couple of tweets and posts that idolize their relationship. Strangers wishing them the best, looking up to them, wishing they could have a boyfriend just like him. Another perfect paparazzi shoot of them at the beach, Jungkook picking Ira up from behind, mid-spin. She’s radiant as she laughs, body clad in a white bikini thar reveals her perfect body. There’s over 300 comments under the picture. Someone says, “if my girl looked like that I’d be in a good mood for the rest of my life.”

And you get it. You get it because she’s beautiful, and talented and easygoing. She’s confident but humble and when she speaks, you can see the way she thinks about the words before they leave her, making her sound so very eloquent. She’s gentle and dainty and her voice is soft. The more you scroll, the more you form these thoughts inside your head and then you find the perfect word to describe her: gracious. Elegant is a close second.

Your eyes feel heavy and it’s nearly two a.m.. Your phone screen illuminates your face as another video plays. She’s being asked 73 questions.

“What’s something you can’t live without?”

“My boyfriend.”

“So, you’re in love.”

She nods, a blush creeping up her cheeks.

“He’s the love of my life.”

Your body aches with exhaustion, courtesy of your late night perusing. Your gaze gets lost on the fruit you’re cutting at a lethargic pace and you don’t even react when you lose grip on the knife and it comes dangerously close to cutting through your skin.

Mrs. Chae walks over to you, but you don’t notice her proximity until she’s placing a coffee cup in front of you, her movements gentle, like she understands. When you look up at her and smile, she smiles back, briefly caressing your arm before she’s back to busying herself with her morning responsibilities. Her kindness makes you want to cry.

You hear Soori’s cries long before she enters your line of vision, and when she finally does, she’s pouting and squinting her eyes before letting out another long wail.

“Oh, my sweet baby,” you walk over to them, running your hands down her cheeks, wiping her tears away. She turns around, nuzzling her face between Jungkook’s neck.

“She’s been in pain since she woke up. I gave her a bottle and some Tylenol but nothing helps.” Jungkook rocks her from side to side, hand coming to cup her little head to try and comfort her, but her cries only get louder.

“It’s okay, the medicine will kick in soon and I’ll keep her as comfortable as I possibly can,” you reassure him, but he still looks miserable, guilt settling in the closer he gets to having to leave.

“I hate to leave her like this.”

“You’re not leaving her. You’ll be back home soon. It’s okay, Jungkook, she’s going through a totally normal process. As painful as it is for her, she’ll be fine.”

He nods and she seems to calm down, too, turning around as if following the sound of your voice. She stares at you for a second and you smile and even though she doesn’t reciprocate it, she falls into your arms the way she does every morning.

“Hi, baby,” you kiss her chubby cheeks. “You’ll be alright. Say, I’m gonna be okay daddy!” It’s sweet music to your ears as you get a little chuckle out of her when you raise her little arm.

Jungkook stares at her, lovingly. He stares at you lovingly, too, only you’re too busy being sad to notice. You can barely look into his eyes.

“I’ll probably be late today again, w-”

“We’ll be here. And I’ll be with her. Don’t worry.”

“Thank you, ___.”

And all you can do is smile at him, only allowing yourself to stare into his eyes for a brief second, because any longer could break you further and he’d have no other choice than to know. Perhaps that wouldn’t be such a bad thing – you’re smart enough to know that. But the side of you that can barely handle your feelings wonders how hard it’d be to share them, yet again, with him. Your heart, achey as ever reminds you that it was the shared feelings he couldn’t do anything about that land you right where you are now.

You decide to be with your sadness, alone.

Soori’s pain comes in waves. In the morning she’s fuzzy, then after breakfast she seems to be doing a little better. You two play in the garden and you let her get messy with watercolors. She’s distracted enough for all of two hours, which you deem a success in your book. She cries again as you put her down for her nap. She cries until she tires herself and you hold her through it all. When you try to put her down on her crib, she wakes up, tears threatening to leave her eyes again, and so you hold her and sit down on the rocking chair, letting her sleep on you. You let her sleep as much as she needs and when she wakes up, you have drool all over your shirt. You smile, knowing that’s a clear sign that it was a deep and successful nap.

She’s good during lunch time and then fuzzy again afterwards. She throws a block at you and you hate that you have to give her the gentle talk when she’s in such visible pain. But she’s good and she listens and when she nuzzles herself into your arms ten minutes later, you know it’s because she’s sorry. She’s so smart and it’s beginning to show in every aspect of her.

You read her books, even as she cries halfway into the third, eventually falling asleep. You let her snooze in your arms once again, but try to keep the nap short so she can have a good night’s sleep. She’s a bit groggy and unhappy when you wake her up but she gets straight to playing afterwards. You make her a snack and it seems to be going well until she’s back to restless tears. It kind of reminds you of when you’d first met her, when you were certain about having obliterated your chances at getting to spend time with the “cute baby”. She cries and cries and yet all you can think of is how grateful you are that you got the job, by some odd chance and one hell of a lot of luck.

You stare out into the garden as you rock her in your arms. Your exhaustion is starting to get the best of you and you’re relieved when she begins to calm down, her sobs turning into tiny sniffles and her head falling into your shoulder. You give her back soft, little pats as she relaxes in your hold. And right as you think she’s about to fall asleep, her head springs up and you hear her say,

“Dada!”

You turn around, surprised eyes on Jungkook as he makes his way inside the living room. He smiles at Soori, who jumps in your hold when he outstretches his arms in her direction as he greets her sweetly.

“Hi, baby,” he takes her in his arms, lathering kisses all over her cheeks. She giggles and you smile in relief because it’s so good to see her so happy. “Daddy’s home! Did you miss me?” she claps her hands as if agreeing with him and he laughs, kissing all over her face.

“You’re home early,” you say, a small smile on your face as you take in the scene before you.

He takes a step forward, grabbing you by the waist and kissing you. It takes you by surprise but you let him. The kiss is deep but soft and it lasts longer than you’d expect. You feel his smile on your lips long before he pulls away.

“We closed the deal,” he says. “It’s done. We did it.”

You smile, hugging him to you. Your face to his chest and words muffled when you say, “congratulations.”

Soori taps on your shoulder, whining as she gets smothered between the two of you, making you both laugh as you stare at her. She looks confused and pouty, can’t decide who she wants to entertain first. She smiles at you before she’s nuzzling her head against her father’s neck. Jungkook does a little jump and she shrieks in excitement, looking back at you and smiling again.

“I want to celebrate,” he says.

“You should. I know how hard you’ve been working for this, it deserves a celebration.”

“With you.” He pulls you closer once again. “And Soori. Us three. We can have dinner somewhere nice, what do you think?”

You ponder on his words, suddenly being hit with the exhaustion you’ve been carrying since the morning tenfold. You also think about the way your heart has been actively breaking since last night, and probably for the past two weeks. You look at his face, a big smile that makes him look young and carefree. In times like these you convince yourself that you see him like no one in the world can.

“I don’t know, I-” you try, but the minute you see his smile drop, it’s impossible to keep up the cold front. “I don’t have anything fancy to wear.” you follow your lies with a smile.

He kisses you again. “You don’t need to.”

“I’d have to go change though.”

“We can stop by your place,” he runs his hand through your hair.

“Okay,” your voice is faint. Barely there.

“Great!” He turns to Soori, bouncing her in his arms. “I need to call Jin, run him through some final protocols. I’ll be twenty minutes tops and then we can go.”

He says this in a hurry, making his way to his office already.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?”

He looks at you, confused. “Huh,” and then it hits him as Soori chuckles. “Oh! Shit. Yeah.” He laughs, passing her over to you. “I’ll be right back.”

He kisses her forehead, then yours. When he turns around Soori looks at you. You stare back and shrug, making her laugh.

“He’s funny, huh,” you say, and she laughs even louder. “Yeah, he is. You have a good daddy.”

And as much as your heart exhausts itself at your words, it knows that much is true. It just can’t help but wonder if it’s enough.

You stand before your closet, hands on your hips as you attempt to find something that’s presentable enough for the very fancy and certainly very expensive restaurant Jungkook had chosen. French cuisine, classic interiors and a seasonal menu. You knew it was almost impossible to get a reservation because Lucy had studied their M.O. in class and often praised their chefs. In Jungkook’s case, the reservation was one call away and probably all but three minutes to finalize. He’d told you he frequented the place quite often and that they had, and you quote, a soft spot for him.

You skim through your dresses, skirts, shirts, all a little frantically as you look at the time. You don’t have much of it, but luckily you’d done your makeup first thing, darkening your eyes a bit to distract from the fact that you wouldn’t be able to pull a dress that impressed. Your hair was in an updo that looked like it’d taken longer to perfect but in reality, you’d gotten lucky and got it just right the first time.

You’re in nothing but your underwear, as if the power of your sight alone could make fancy little dresses magically appear. You don’t know what to do, and so you call Lucy.

“Hello, you,” she greets sweetly.

“Lucy, I don’t have anything to wear.”

“I’ve been well! How have you been, ___? Oh! I miss you, too.”

You laugh, playfully rolling your eyes. “I miss you more than you miss me, I can guarantee that much.”

“Never,” she says, “what’s this fashion emergency about?”

“Well, we’re going to La Mélodie and-”

“Woah?”

“Yeah,” you sigh.

“Date night, huh?”

You think about it. “Mm, something like that, sure. But I don’t know what to wear. I have nothing to wear!”

She goes silent for a second and you can hear her gears getting into motion. Finally she says,

“You do. But you’re not gonna like it. But you’re gonna have to hear me out.”

“Okay…”

“Do you remember that Halloween, well into your hoe era, that you wore that skimpy black dress and painted whiskers on your face and said you were a rat?”

You gasp. “I was a mouse.”

“Potatoe, potato.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No. I’m pretty sure I flashed like, three people that night. Involuntarily. Like, I actually had to apologize for it.”

“That’s to blame on tequila, not on the dress! It was a good dress. And I’m afraid it’s your only option so you better buddy up with it!”

“Great. I guess I’ll be the slutty nanny tonight.”

“That’s a great porn title, make good use of it!”

“Lucy. Soori will be joining us.”

“Why is the baby joining you? No offense to the baby. But why?”

“Long story. I’ll catch you up later. I love you. Thank you.”

She sends flying kisses to you before hanging up. It takes you a minute to commit to it, but you get the dress out, examining it top to bottom. Yep, still skimpy. But it’ll have to do. You throw it over your body and walk towards your mirror. The reflection that looks back at you looks nothing like the sad, puffy eyed girl from last night. No, you look hot. Yes, it’s a bit short, but Lucy was right, it’s nowhere near as bad as you remember. It hugs your ass perfectly, drawing over your curves and pushing your tits upwards the right amount. There’s not much to it, just a little black dress, but you certainly do bring it to life. You throw a pair of heels on, cursing them the moment you feel the way it arches your feet in an inhumane way, and brave yourself up for the night.

When you leave your room, Jungkook’s jaw drops. It drops in such a visible manner that he has to collect himself and close his mouth before he makes a fool out of himself. It’s your face he fixates on first. He tries to wrap his brain around what it is that makes you look so different, yet still beautiful in the way he’s so very used to when it comes to you. It’s your eyes, he thinks. The dark eyeshadow you’ve smudged on them in such a subtle but notable way. It makes your eyes big and bright but they make your gaze fall a little bit, making him feel things in the pit of his stomach. Then his own eyes scan down, taking their time to take in your body. Your dress looks painted on and his breath hitches in his throat, letting him know it was gonna be a long night if this is what one minute of you in this dress was doing to him. But what resounds the loudest in his head is that, simply put, you looked beautiful, taking up the entire meaning of the word.

“I’m ready,” you say, letting your arms awkwardly fall next to your body, giving him a tight lipped smile.

Soori’s enthralled by an episode of Bluey that plays on your TV screen, and so Jungkook walks over to you, granting himself the luxury to simply perceive you and enjoy the view. He smiles, and though he doesn’t mean to, it’s seductive. It makes your tummy flutter, the ever so evident butterflies that never seem to leave.

“Fuck dinner.” He stands in front of you, leaving you wide eyed and your mouth agape at his words.

“Language,” you say, looking over at Soori.

“She doesn’t care about us right now, trust me,” he says, wrapping his arms around your waist and bringing you closer to him. “You,” his hand travels down your lower back, tempting to go lower but he stops himself, “look so beautiful.”

“Thanks,” your words are soft as you smile at him, wrapping your hands around his neck, letting his attention warm you all over.

One of his hands travels up, landing on your cheek, gently cupping the side of your face and you close your eyes, letting the weight of your head fall into it. His thumb brushes your skin and just as you’re about to wish for it, he puts his lips on yours. He hums against them, taking his time, tasting you, letting your smell hit his senses until all he can think about is you. His tongue parts your lips, deepening the kiss as he flushes his chest to yours. You can’t fight it. You can’t deny him, you can’t even remember why it is that you were trying to just a couple of seconds ago. In between kisses and touch, you submit to him.

He pulls away, looking into your eyes before he says, “see? I don’t need dinner. That was a great entree.”

You laugh, playfully hitting his chest. “You do have a tongue on you, that’s for sure.”

Your words aren’t meant to come off the way they do. Your intentions are a play on words to let him know he was being witty to get his way, but alas, they have him raising his eyebrows at you, a smirk adorning his lips.

“Oh,” is all he says.

“No, I mean,” you stall on your words, mind already transfixed on the other truth to your statement. “Because that was clever. What you said,” you stutter, “you get me.”

“Sure,” he says, nodding his head and pouting his lips, making you laugh and roll your eyes.

“Well, it should be a quick dinner,” he says, letting go of you. “I’m already half full.”

“See? That's what I meant with the- the tongue thing.”

He hums, taking one last look at you before walking over to Soori, her mouth open as she focuses on her show. “Don’t hate me, please,” he says, as he picks her up from the couch and turns the TV off. She cries and you laugh a little at the way he apologizes to her over and over again.

“Aw, Soo Soo,” you coo at her, and when she sees you, she throws herself into your arms, hiding between your neck as soft whines leave her mouth in expert crocodile tears.

Jungkook chuckles at the scene before him, but in a matter of seconds the image hits him like a ton of bricks. The way you hold her, beautiful as ever as you fix the skirt of her blue dress, fingers brushing through her hair, careful not to ruin the pigtails and bows you’d carefully perfected as you got her ready.

It’s picture perfect, he thinks. A sight he could get used to.

“Welcome back to La Mélodie, Mr Jeon,” a sweet voice trapped in a 6 foot, long legged, blonde haired body greets you at the entrance. Her voice is so sweet, in fact, that you see where the soft spot he was talking about comes from.

“Hi, Lily,” he says. “Thank you for getting us in such short notice.”

Lily.

“It’s my pleasure, Jungkook.”

Jungkook?

She smiles at Soori, who looks at her with a blank stare before she’s nuzzling her face on her dad’s chest. She then smiles at you and it takes everything in you to return the gesture so politely. Inside, you’re rolling your eyes and probably pulling a face as you imitate the way she says Jungkook emphasis on the J.

“This way,” she says, walking towards the center of the restaurant as she guides you to your table. You don’t miss the way she swings her hips as she walks, turning around ever so swiftly as she lets her long, blonde hair fall over her shoulder.

You feel insane. No, really. Jealousy is such an odd feeling. A foreign one, too. You’d never been a jealous person before – to be quite honest, it wasn’t because you were overly confident or uninterested. It was simply because you didn’t notice. You didn’t notice if someone was a “threat” or had bad intentions. Or perhaps deep down, you never truly cared. Oftentimes, it was Lucy that had to alert you on these things, pointing out how it was right there, under your nose! But you failed to see it every time. Not anymore, though. It’s clear as day and it stands right in front of you wearing very dark red lipstick.

You can feel Lily’s eyes on you as Jungkook opens the chair for you, and she disguises her vitriol with a smile as you sit down. He puts Soori in her high chair and finally sits down himself. He smiles at her, thanking her again and she winks at him. Yes, winks. Your mouth drops, quite literally. Her action is so bold it’s almost admirable in your eyes. You wonder if you could ever be such a go-getter, even if it made you vicious.

He shifts uncomfortably on his seat, looking up at you and not missing the shock that laces your face. He wonders if he should say something, but before he can come up with anything of substance, the waiter is by the table.

“Mr. Jeon,” he bows his head politely, “and Miss…”

You stare at him in confusion, opting for giving him your name.

“___.”

“Miss ___,” he says, and you smile. You don’t see this, but Jungkook smiles in endearment, hand in a fist over his mouth as he covers his chuckle with a cough.

As the waiter recites the magic behind their seasonal menu, the main ingredients they’re using this month, and today’s specialties, Jungkook looks around him. He recognizes a couple of faces and doesn’t miss the way their eyes take in the scene, dancing from him to you, and then Soori, in confusion. It suddenly dawns on him that you don’t quite look like the nanny tonight. Not that he owes any of these people an explanation, or that he cares about what they think, or what they’ll say. He’s very much past that, and has never lingered too much on it, anyway. But the more their faces turn from shock to plain confusion, the more he realizes that it’s only been a couple of months – three, to be exact – since Ira left. He wishes he didn’t, but he understands the shocked expressions. He understands why they must be thinking what they must be thinking.

His eyes land on you, fixating on the way you gently nod as you smile to the waiter, listening to him intently. The sight of you alone makes him think, to hell with what they think. The waiter says he’ll give you a minute to look over the menu, and Jungkook orders a bottle of his favorite white wine. He’d go for red on nights like these, but he knows you prefer light, sweet flavors and so he caters to you, without you even knowing.

“Are you happy,” you ask, a smile on your face as your eyes meet his.

“Very much.”

“You know, I know I said it yesterday, before our little… altercation,” he smiles, remembering the acts that took place in his kitchen. “But it’s all quite unreal to me. And I truly am in awe of… you.”

“I’m in awe of you.” There’s no hesitation in his words.

You shy. “Stop.”

“Why?”

“This night is about you. To celebrate you.”

“Exactly,” he says, “so let me do as I please.”

“Okay,” is all you say, because his soft demeanor and flattery are going straight to your head, looking past your heart that still breaks.

“On that topic,” he begins, crossing his hands over the table, “I want to head to our beach house this weekend.”

What is it with rich people and beach houses? Do they all have one?

“That sounds nice… you can rest and relax. Recover from the week and all.”

“Yeah. I want everyone to come,” he refers to his friends. “Jin and Seulgi already confirmed.”

“That sounds wonderful, Kook.” You’re kind of grateful he’s going to be away this weekend, so you don’t have to make up excuses to avoid him and you can bed rot in peace.

“Yeah. I’m excited. I wanna go sailing and we can grill every night,” he says.

“Hm,” you nod, smiling. You think of all the TV shows you’ve been wanting to start, pondering over the list to pick a winner.

“We leave Saturday morning.”

“Great!” You think of pizza and brownie fudge Ben & Jerry's.

“And don’t worry, we’re not taking the plane.”

You laugh. And then you get it.

“Huh?”

He’s equally as confused. “What?”

“The plane?”

“Yeah. You were kinda scared the last time. Plus, it’s only two hours by car.”

“I’m going?”

“Uh- yeah? I mean- I know book club is on summer break for the next three weeks so I thought- but if you’re busy or something,” he doesn’t know what to say anymore so he just lets his last words linger.

“Oh,” I mean, you are his nanny. Isn’t it expected for you to go to these things? Just like you did the last time. He’s about to say something else, but you interrupt him, “sure.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah!”

He smiles as he nods at you, but it’s an uncertain smile. Like he doesn’t quite know what just happened. Soori calls you guys’ attention when she slams her plushie against the table, giggling as she plays, letting her imagination take over. Jungkook runs his hand over her head.

“I’m excited to spend time with her. I’ve missed her this week.”

“She missed you, too. It’s gonna be good for the two of you to spend time together.”

“I’m excited to spend time with-”

“Would you like to taste the wine, Mr Jeon?”

With you, is what Jungkook was going to say, before the waiter interrupted. Not that he’s to blame. If anything, Jungkook is.

“Yes, thank you.”

The wine is good. Excellent, even. Like nothing you’ve tasted before. It’s sweet and fruity, but very light. You’re very much used to cheap liqueur and even cheaper wine, so getting to jump to the other side and try the other extremes is nice for a change. The whole night pans out like that – pleasant and delicious. The food, the wine, the dessert. You talk, swoon over Soori. At one point you ask something that makes Jungkook dive into a more elaborate explanation of what his job consists of. You let him speak, mostly because you’re interested, partly because you’re too exhausted to say anything of substance yourself.

Lily brings over the bill, and you can hear the clinking of her heels from a mile away. She smiles as she walks over to the table, even before Jungkook acknowledges her. She’s ready to pounce.

“How was everything?”

“Delicious as always, please do congratulate the chef for me.”

“I’m sure he’d love to hear it from you. Don’t you wanna stop by the kitchen before you head out?”

Gasp. She is so bold. God, does she fear nothing?

Jungkook laughs, awkwardly, as he signs the check. “I’m afraid we have to get going, this little one’s past bedtime.”

“Aw,” she says, and it’s not directed at Soori, no. It’s disappointment that’s so evident in her voice. “But it was so fun the last time.”

Last time, you almost say. Quite frankly, for a second you think the words have left you, because both their eyes are on you. Lily’s are laced with twisted pride, and Jungkook’s are apologetic.

“Thank you, again, Lily,” is all he says.

“My pleasure, Jungkook.” She bats her eyelashes at him, a saccharine smile she throws his way before she’s turning around and making her grand exit.

You stare at Jungkook, watching as he reaches for his glass of water, taking a big sip, gulping loudly.

“What happened the last time that was so fun?”

“Nothing,” he says, bringing the glass back to the table a little sternly. “I know the chef. He’s helped me recruit a couple of chefs for The West End. That’s all.”

“Ah,” is all you say.

“I don’t know what that was about. She wasn’t even- I mean, she was there, but it was mostly him and I speaking. She’s his niece.”

“I see.”

“Baby,” he says, nearly whines.

“It’s okay. I’m sorry, I’m just tired. I’m probably just irritable because of that,” you mask your jealousy with a chuckle.

Jungkook reaches across the table, wrapping his hand around yours. You wince a little, looking around you, feeling slightly exposed.

“Hey,” he says. “Look at me.”

“Yes.”

He laughs at your sudden nervousness. “Stay with me tonight?”

“But Mrs Chae-”

“I gave her the day off. I’m going late into the office tomorrow. We can sleep in a little bit. I want you to stay. Please?”

Your heart begs you to at least think about it for a second. A split second, even! But the efforts are unsuccessful, and you don’t hesitate when you say,

“Okay.”

Jungkook’s shower is your favorite place in the world.

Well, perhaps that’s a bit dramatic.

Or perhaps it’s completely understandable, all things considered. You remember when there was a time you didn’t believe in shower sex. Not because you didn’t think it was real, but because you couldn’t believe people actually enjoyed it. There was nothing to enjoy about it, in your humble opinion. And humble it was, because these four walls can testify about the way you became a woman of faith the moment you experienced what you liked to call premium shower sex.

You let the water cascade from your head down your body, relaxing your muscles as the massage jets hit just where you need them the most. Jungkook was putting Soori to bed and he’d suggested you take a shower in the meantime. And so here you were, contemplating. You think of staying here, waiting until he’s back, letting him get in the shower with you. Letting him do whatever he wants to you, really. That’s the truth of it all.

But you don’t. You don’t because you try to be reasonable. Sex won’t solve this, if last night is to tell. And boy, was it loud and clear. So you get out, enjoying a couple extra minutes running his warm, fluffy towels over your body, brushing your hair, doing your skincare with his fancy products and spending way too much time, yet again, picking a shirt to sleep in. You opt for a simple Calvin Klein tee, pleased at the softness.

When he makes his way to the room, you’re already in bed, Sense and Sensibility in hand as you read. He stops, taking you in before you can see him. He thanks the universe for making his dreams from last weekend come true. You smile at him, eyes following his steps as he comes to your side of the bed, planting a kiss on your forehead.

“I’m gonna shower, won’t be too long.”

“Enjoy,” you say.

He turns around, about to make his way to the bathroom but before he can get far enough he’s turning back, walking towards you again. You look up, stars on your eyes is what Jungkook can swear he sees.

“Thank you for staying. And for coming to dinner. That,” he pauses and you hear the hint of nervousness that takes on his tone of voice, “was good. I mean, that meant a lot to me, is what I’m trying to say.”

“Of course, Kook.”

He kisses you. It’s short and sweet, leaves you craving more as your lips feel his absence right away.

The minute he’s out of sight, your heart sends a question shooting straight at your brain. It’s aggressive and angry.

What are you doing?

Its simplicity holds deception. The simple answer would keep the whole thing contextual: he wants you to be here, he asked you to be here. You celebrated an important night with him and now you’re in his bed because isn’t that what you do? The last words get your heart going, beating faster with complexity. It says, no! It is not what you do. Or perhaps it’s what you do with your boyfriend, which he is not, by the way. Your own cruel words make you wince. Your heart opts for a softer approach, simply reminding you that you’re not doing yourself any favors. That playing house with the person that has made you question pretty much everything about both life and love in the past couple of weeks isn’t the best way to make sound decisions. That with every kiss you’re reminded of why you love him, and with every kiss he reminds you that perhaps to him, it’s just a kiss. A kiss that holds affection, sure. But not a kiss that holds love. Your incessant thinking makes you wonder if what you ask for isn’t too much. You wonder if it makes sense to want him to love you the way you did him. You couldn't ask that of him, at the end of the day. You couldn’t ask that of anyone.

Sense and Sensibility is long forgotten, your brain too loud to make sense of the words you read. You turn to your side, cozying up against the pillows. You try to close your eyes but every time you do the images that play in your head are somewhat crazier than your thoughts. You toss and turn and simply opt for keeping a soft gaze towards the ceiling, focusing on your breath and trying to remember what Lucy’s meditation tapes you can sometimes hear in the mornings say.

“You okay,” you hear Jungkook ask before you can see him. He chuckles at the sight of you.

He walks closer to the bed, one towel wrapped very low around his hips as he runs another through his hair, drying it. Little droplets falling over his body, making it glisten. You let yourself stare at him because the sight alone leaves you slightly speechless. You’re not proud of it, but another part of your body pitches in on your heart’s debate and says, this is why.

“Yeah,” you finally muster the words, “can’t sleep that’s all.”

”Mm, yeah. That happens to me when I’m really tired sometimes. Bit weird, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, makes no sense.”

“It’s okay, just try to relax, baby.” His knee hits the mattress, hair towel discarded to the side as he makes his way to you.

“Y-yeah, I’m trying,” your eyes follow his every move as he gets closer.

His hands rest at your knees before he says, “I like this on you, by the way,” eyes zeroing in on his shirt.

“It’s comfy,” you say, eyes closing at the feel of his fingers gently roaming down your legs.

“Keep it, baby.”

“No, I like it on you more.”

He laughs. “It’s okay, I have plenty.”

He opens your legs, inching closer before he lets himself gently fall on top of you. Your fingers thread through his wet hair, pushing it back.

“I’m having the best night ever,” he says, playful eyes on yours as you both laugh.

“You must be easy to please,” you say.

“Depends on who’s doing the pleasing,” he watches the way your gaze flutters before your eyes close at the anticipation of his lips on yours. And when he finally kisses you, you both sigh, falling into it. It’s slow, just allowing your lips to lazily move against one another’s. You run your fingers through his hair, nails softly running down his scalp and it makes him groan in satisfaction. You push your body further down into the mattress, letting your legs fall open as Jungkook settles better between them. A moan escapes your lips as the motion has him pressing his cock into you.

“Kook, I’m really tired, I don’t think I’ll handle it.”

He shakes his head, kissing you again. He doesn’t pull away as he says, “no. I want to make you feel good, baby. You don’t have to do anything.” He looks at you, eyes closing in pleasure when he pushes his hips against yours. “Please?”

You nod, a little caught in the feeling. “Okay.”

“You’re so beautiful, you know that?”

“Jungkook,” you say, turning your face away from him in a timidness that he finds so endearing.

“Don’t ask me to stop saying it because I won’t,” he says, fingers finding your chin and turning your face to him again. He pecks your lips before he says, “fucking gorgeous.” You laugh, and he likes the sound of it and so he feathers kisses all over your face, down your neck where he knows it tickles, rejoicing on the way you giggle as you try to push him away. It’s hard for Jungkook to choose between the sweet sound of your laughter, or the way you moan when the last kiss he places against your neck ends with a tiny suckle.

“Can I taste you, baby?” His voice is deep, right on your ear, sending goosebumps down your spine.

“Please,” and he loves the airiness the word has on your mouth.

His kisses on your neck grow deeper, enticed by your moans and the way you pull at his hair, soft and hard. His mouth begins to travel down, letting his hands roam all over your body at a leisurely pace. He loves it when he can go slow, take his time, make pit stops on the parts of your body he loves the most. He loves your lips, and so he kisses them, snaking a hand down your shirt and cupping at your tits, drawing circles on your nipple with his thumb, making you squirm. You feel him smirk against your lips, always getting a little cocky at how well he can pull at your strings until pleasure is the only thing you can think of.

He pushes the soft material of your shirt away, lips kissing down your chest until they’re closing around your nipple. A throaty moan leaves you and you circle your hips, making Jungkook hiss as his cock jumps from the contact alone. But he doesn’t want to focus on his immediate pleasure, no. He wants tonight to be about you. He wants to take his time with you – make you feel so good your body has no choice but to sleep the overwhelm off.

His tongue plays with your nipple, in an ever so slow pace that has your eyes rolling to the back of your head. He lets his free hand touch all over your body, down your waist, squeezing your hips, nails scraping slightly at your thigh. He looks up at you, eyes meeting your hazy ones as he sucks on your nipple, biting gently when your fingers get tangled in his dark locks. He moves his hand closer to where you need him the most, tentative little touches that have you clenching in mere anticipation.

“No teasing,” you warn.

“No fun,” he says, pouting before he’s biting your nipple again.

But Jungkook just wants to make you feel good. He wants to give you what you want, he wants to hear you and feel you, and the thought of his tongue on your heat has him nearly salivating. And so he complies. You sigh when he presses his middle and ring finger against your clothed clit, tiny little circles that have you leaking in no time. He feels it, fingers dampening against the cotton of your underwear as his mouth kisses down your torso, leaving a wet trail on your tummy that makes you feel electric the moment he pulls away. His fingers hook inside the side of your panties, his touch soft. Too soft.

“Take them off,” you say, no edge to your voice.

He does just that, pulling away for a second to roll the tiny fabric off your legs before he’s back on his tummy, between your legs, one of his own bent slightly as he gets comfortable. You find it so lewd – the way he enjoys this. The way he enjoys it when his eyes zero in on your cunt, glistening for him.

“Fuck, you’re so wet,” and his eyes never leave, following his index finger as it parts your slit. A low, controlled moan leaves his lips when he sees how wet you make his finger, how you leak for him. The tip touches at your clit, making you gasp before you’re letting out a moan. “And so sensitive, baby.”

You’re a bit delirious but you manage to look at him as you nod, your voice so shaky when you say, “I need you- it’s been a while since I’ve had your mouth.”

His thumb circles your clit. “You’ll get my mouth, baby. But I just wanna see you for a little longer, ‘kay?” You nod again. “Prettiest fucking pussy.”

You’re about to shy away from his words but he wastes no time, pushing a finger inside of you, making you groan as your head hits the pillow. He tests the water, feels how tight you get around him, thumb still working your clit as he pushes a second one in. He pays attention to your moans, the jerk of your hips, his eyes never leaving you as you roll your lips between your teeth, arm hovering over your head before you’re hiding underneath it.

“Look at me, ___.”

You do, eyes threatening to close as he picks up his pace, hitting that spot inside of you continuously, expertly matching your breath with each push and pull.

“Fuck, I’m so close already,” you whine, closing your eyes for a second.

“Want my tongue, baby?”

“Fuck, Jungkook, please,” you plead, gasping when his index and middle finger press on your g-spot, tiny little movements against it. “Please.”

“I will, baby. God, how can I not?” His lips close around your clit, making you moan in sweet satisfaction. “You ask so nicely- fuck, ___, you taste so good, baby.”

Jungkook is growing delirious, too, struggling to keep his own pleasure at bay, hips rutting against the mattress as he places little rhythmic suckles against your clit. You look down at him, eyes meeting his and he smiles. It’s dirty, bordering on obscene, but you love it. You love how much he loves making you feel good.

“Like that, Kook,” you whisper, “shit, don’t stop.”

His tongue parts your folds, teasing your hole before he’s lapping at your pussy, spitting on it before his ministrations are back on your clit, sucking, licking, circling. You’re so wet, and so close, you can’t quite make out his actions. All you know is the white, warm feeling that takes over your body, making you a little lightheaded. His fingers push inside of you once again, making you clench around them, mouth parting in shock and pleasure.

Jungkook hums against your pussy, eyes closing at the feel of you. “You’re so close, baby. Want me to make you cum?”

And the question alone could do it for you – in fact, you have to take a second to concentrate on not letting go. There’s something so fucking divine about him knowing exactly where he’s got you at. You nod, one airy, “please,” and that’s all he needs to finish you off. His fingers don’t go faster, but they go harder. His tongue focuses on your clit, silky flesh lapping determinedly at your nub, sucking on it when your legs begin to shake.

“Oh, fuck- Jungkook,” you cum with his name on your tongue, letting out a little cry when you feel him moan against your pussy at the sound of his name. It’s too much, the way your muscles contract and then release, but you can’t get enough of it. “Don’t stop, Kook, please.”

He doesn’t. He milks you with his fingers, feeling the way you leak down his wrists, making a mess out of his mouth as you pull at his hair, nails digging on his scalp. You cum on his tongue, and you come down on it, too, letting yourself fall into him so quickly that the over-sensitivity has you pushing his head away with shaky hands.

“Oh my fucking God.” You drop your head to the pillow behind you, hands covering your eyes as you try to regain your breath. Jungkook just stares at you, head resting on your inner thigh, smiling and drunk on you. He feathers one single kiss on the soft skin of your leg, and your body jumps a little, making him let out a boyish chuckle that makes your heart beat steadfast. You laugh, too.

You let a couple of minutes linger on, the two of you sharing the same pillow, just laying in bed. You take a while to come back to your body and when you finally do, the exhaustion takes over.

“Come here,” you tell him, and he obliges, body flushed on top of yours once again. Your hand travels down, feeling how hard he is. He hisses, his own hand closing around yours before he’s shaking his head. “Why? You’re so hard.”

“You’re tired. I just wanted to make you feel good. I’m okay, baby. More than okay, actually.”

“But,” you say, confusion lacing your words.

“Tomorrow. You need rest. I think I’ve succeeded at making you sleepy,” he laughs.

“Fuck, you really did.”

He lays back next to you, a sigh passing his lips before his head turns, meeting your eyes.

“You know, you were right,” he says.

“What about?”

His smirk gives him away before his words can.

“I do have quite a tongue on me.”

★taglist★

@roro-in-utopia @yiyi4657 @littlrmills14-blog @namjooningelsewhere@drownforryou @iwanttohitmyself @finelinememories @yukiehyukie@shatzkrinslinzki @bts-fic-recs-mess @kokoandkookie @subtlepjiminie@hobipost @kookiesbreaky @di0rgguk @bloopkook @babyrosieareroses@kookiecrumb @casspirit0705 @eclectictacozinewobbler @tickledpink55@rjsmochii @dimcorner @miniiimee @vintageroses10 @amyniu @tessxblxckthorn@emotionaltrashcansblog @fangirl125reader @laurynne5 @thickgrinch@dianaxnyc @ruinsofangels @berryonasummerevening @taeslarityy@hisunshiine @preciouschiminie @ruclements @galaxyflab @jalexad@missseoulite @bangtannoonalvg @kootonins @lustremyg @kissme-ornot@92thk @everythingaboutfangirling @cakecobain @callmejimmeo @simp4tae@landl7xoxo @jungjoonie @sanfransolomitatm @khadeeeeej @mar-lo-pap @nanjeonlangakook

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elleloquently · 7 months ago

Text

the wretched and joyful [ 3 ] : ellie williams

ellie williams x female reader | angst + slowburn

masterlist

───⋆☆ And what the hell were we? Tell me we weren't just friends - This doesn't make much sense, no ♪

───⋆☆ All those sleepless nights - And all those wasted days - I wish loneliness would leave me - But I think it's here to stay ♪

| a/n - depending on how well this does, i'll decide if i'll be posting the rest of this fic or just leaving it here. thank you for your patience waiting for part three... please share ur thoughts bc that's my favorite part! i wrote this a little tipsy bc i wanted to get the right pacing of drinking so hopefully u get the vibe hehe | c/w - swearing, alcohol used as a coping mechanism, drinking, very small emetophobia warning! brief mention of sick (not detailed whatsoever), and a tiny dash of nsfw

you twirled and twirled in front of your dusted vanity mirror. the skirt that addie had made you was doing wonders.

you felt pretty.

what a ridiculous thing to say in this type of world.

the sky was streaked with orange, the promise of darkness growing closer by the second.

your stomach was in knots as you walked down the road. you tried to muster up excitement, telling yourself that was the reason for your shivers and shaking hands. if you forced it hard enough, perhaps it would be true.

perhaps you were a little too eager to drink, anything to numb your feelings or make you feel easy going, at least for a little while.

typically, you didn't like to drink much. you hated the taste, the way it constantly made you gag no matter how much you tried to like it. you hated feeling sick, too.

now, that didn't matter too much. if you were terribly sick the next day, so be it. maybe the sickness was the punishment that you deserved, and you decided that you would let it be.

dina's laughter echoed around you. you weren't sure what was said, but the ghost of a smile etched itself onto your lips anyway.

you pulled your gaze away from your feet, looking upwards to dina's grinning face instead. you had just caught the last second of a worried expression crossing jesse's face beforehand.

"stop dragging your feet," ellie complained, brushing your arm with her own. your skin responded almost instantly with chills. you could blame it on the cold weather, a cardigan wrapped protectively around your shoulders and arms. the days were certainly warming up, but the crisp air at night was an unforgiving reminder of the harsh winter everyone had struggled through.

you grumbled something inaudible in response, falling in line with your friends.

the four of you, a group of twenty somethings walking along almost happily as if the night could hold some sort of promise.

some older residents of jackson might chuckle, joking about staying out of trouble with a shake of their head. almost immediately their smiles would fall, remembering their own youth and how realistically, nobody would ever get to experience something like that again.

the light peeking through the tipsy bison ignited the fire in your nerves. jesse held the door open and you huddled in, giggling at the way seth loudly groaned once he set eyes on you and the three friends that followed. it almost could've been endearing if he wasn't such a piece of shit.

two older men sat at the bar turned and gave polite smiles as ellie claimed a rounded table in the corner. otherwise, it was pretty quiet. not for long.

"you look so cute," dina gushed in your ear, brushing her hands over your shoulder. "mrs. hollis really is a gem."

your lips slipped into a smile, cheeks burning. "thanks," you breathed out, looking at ellie out of the corner of your eye.

she had teased you quite a few times for saving a clothing item for a special occasion, but it didn't matter much. if you didn't go out of your way to try and make things special, how would they ever be?

dina pushed your back into the direction of the table where ellie and jesse were settling in. "go, sit. drink. be happy, or merry, or.. whatever they say."

you moved to the table as dina crossed to the bar. ellie's gaze raised, patting the seat next to her.

"hi," you said, sliding into the high top.

"so glad you could join us," jesse replied, charming and awkward and obviously testing the waters. he kept glancing between yourself and ellie and you wished he wouldn't. you hadn't even told him anything.

"you look pretty," ellie remarked, as if it were the most casual thing in the world that she could say. you felt feverish.

you opened your mouth to respond, but jesse drummed his fingers against the table.

"better go help my girl with our drinks," he announced, making things worse when he quickly stood up from the table.

"they're disgusting," ellie mumbled, watching as he joined dina and instantly snaked an arm around her waist.

you turned to look at ellie, watching as she watched jesse and dina. "you love them," you disagreed. "i'm glad they're back together."

"yeah. me too," ellie replied.

her tone sounded distant, causing your eyebrows to furrow as you turned and scooted closer to ellie. "what's the matter?" you questioned, just as music started playing throughout the bar. you both looked up at the same time, watching dina and jesse carrying drinks to your table. you wondered which was the one to sweet talk seth into turning on the music. you were almost certain that it had been jesse.

ellie went for her glass instantly, to which you glanced at her once again out of concern. surely though, you couldn't blame her. she had seemed so stressed lately. so.. tense. more than usual, at least.

jesse's filled glass matched ellie's, a flavor you certainly could never develop a taste for, no matter how troubled you were.

you stared down at your own beverage, swallowing hard. you could already taste it without even taking a sip. the anticipation was surely making it worse.

"cheers," you said suddenly, making your joke obvious by the way that you lifted your drink of choice. "to the happy couple."

dina groaned, reaching across the table to smack playfully at your hand.

"enough with that," dina pressed, but still tapped her glass against your own.

"cheers to this week of patrol being fucking over," ellie chimed in, sharing a knowing look with dina.

you wanted to ask about it, but the way that both of the girls took a long drink after the statement made you keep quiet.

the first sip was the hardest part. you knew how bad it would taste. you forced a straight face and took the biggest drink that you could manage. you swallowed down a cough, which didn't go unnoticed by jesse. he laughed, but didn't tease you.

falling into conversation was easy for your friends. you half listened, mostly focusing on the alcohol in front of you. it wasn't right, you knew that, but you wanted to get the drinking part over with quickly so you could just land at the end result.

get it over with.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

"-don't you think?"

you tore your eyes upwards, wanting to locate the face that belonged to the voice just as you heard your name being impatiently called.

"i said, don't you think? you agree, right?"

ellie was looking at you expectantly.

"yeah. yeah, of course," you found yourself saying.

"oh jesus christ," ellie groaned, shaking her head.

"we've lost her," jesse concluded and you scrambled to sit up straighter in your seat.

"no, you haven't," you forced out. you had been preoccupied, but not lost. maybe your mind had just taken you for hostage, a thought repressed with every sip that you forced down.

your cheeks were starting to feel a little warm, but you were still painfully aware of ellie's body heat next to you and the way that you kept fidgeting with your hair.

"can you really blame him, ellie?" dina continued, not letting your short blip disrupt the conversation. "he just cares about you, that's all."

ellie snorted, and you knew the topic needed to change fast.

"can i try?" you questioned all of a sudden, eyes flicking to the glass held tightly in ellie's hand.

"you don't like it," she reminded you softly, the change in her tone genuinely catching you off guard.

"maybe i do now," you pressed, grateful for the way that dina and jesse began their own conversation from their side of the table. you scooted a little closer to ellie, as much as your chair could allow without swaying. you moved to grab the drink from ellie, but instead she raised the glass to your lips and tilted it. you took a careful sip, eyes scrunching shut as the flavor hit your tongue.

ellie laughed, moving away from you and taking a sip of her own. "that's what i thought," she mumbled, shaking her head with a smile.

"whatever, i'm empty. anyone need a refill?" you announced. it was maybe the third or second round of drinks, you couldn't tell who had what once drinks had started to be shared.

"please," dina grinned, sliding her own cup across the table for you to grab.

you nodded once in acknowledgment before attempting to hop off of the chair. it ended up being more of a slide, steadying yourself with one hand gripping the edge of the table.

"shit," you murmured, standing up straight and collecting the glasses in your hands.

clearly, you had underestimated things. it was only made apparent once you were standing up and moving.

you took focused steps, walking over to the bar and inwardly groaning as seth was very obviously trying not to make eye contact with you. he absolutely hated you, which wasn't much of a loss.. but still humiliating under the circumstances in which the negative feelings arose.

"you gonna drink me out of my own fucking bar again?" seth asked harshly, causing you to wince in reply. you simply shook your head, gesturing to have the cups refilled.

it had been two winters ago, maybe. a close call with ellie at an awkward sleepover had you running to the bison for something to help you cope. you shouldn't have been drinking anyway but you did and seth yelled at you, saying there wasn't going to be any alcohol left for the rest of the town.

the next day, you were horribly sick and ashamed. you spent the day throwing up, wallowing in your own pity.

you had told ellie that you had thought maybe you had the flu.

you debated on ignoring him altogether or making a witty quip, but you took too long to decide and the moment passed.

"just two of the same, please," you mumbled, setting the two glasses in front of him.

seth looked at you and breathed out heavily, squinting his eyes. whatever he wanted to say, he held back as he wordlessly refilled the glasses for you. once returned you smiled, or maybe grimaced, and began to turn away before a nagging idea entered your mind.

you drank, quickly, and had your glass filled once more. it only took a matter of seconds, and you had been convinced that was the last step required to rid yourself of the rather unforgiving thoughts plaguing your brain.

like nothing more even happened, you turned as quickly as possible to the table and made your way back to your friends without spilling any drops.

their boisterous laughter caused the appearance of a frown on your lips. a fear of missing out, why were they laughing so wildly now, once you weren't present for the conversation?

"what're you talking about?" your eyebrows furrowed together as you balanced your body back onto the chair.

"nothing," ellie shook her head, her lips slipping into an amused smile.

"that's not nice," you murmured, cheeks warm as dina reached across the table to grab her drink. "you're leaving me out."

"never," ellie responded, her voice dipping low into a mumble. her hand gently squeezed your forearm, reassuringly.

ellie's touch was gone as quickly as it had came and you held your drink up to your lips, hiding the flustered manner in which your lips twisted about.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

ellie really was trying to focus on whatever jesse was going on about, but your cardigan kept slipping off of your shoulders and your laugh was ringing above the conversation.

her gaze kept wandering to where you were sat next to her, fidgeting with your fingers as you enthusiastically nodded along to the conversation. ellie could tell that you were drunk, or very quickly approaching it, by the way in which you were allowing yourself to fully ramble at the table instead of carefully thinking over and choosing your words.

truthfully, wholeheartedly, ellie adored the way in which you lit up when you told a story.

she leaned back in her seat, hand resting carelessly against her glass as she became more interested in your story than what she was meant to be listening to.

ellie could also tell when you were tipsy, at the very least, because you seemed to be a lot more prone to physical touch. every few seconds your elbow found itself bumping against ellie's. a hand on an arm, a head rested on a shoulder, your head in her lap.

you threw your head back while you laughed, a genuine, nose scrunched type of laugh. ellie quickly tore her eyes away and nearly choked on her drink when your head landed on her shoulder.

"you okay?" ellie mumbled. she might've accidentally interrupted dina, but ellie's words were quiet anyway. her body was tense at the contact and she found herself reaching for her glass once again, fingertips gripping at the rim.

you nodded, your cheek bumping against ellie's shoulder but your words came out in response to dina.

"-and did you see cat's new tattoo?" you asked, your eyes widening in an expression that ellie thought looked like awe.

"no," dina guffawed, and ellie felt you nod again.

"wait, another?" jesse questioned suddenly, and finally ellie had an excuse to join into your conversation.

a bigger gulp of alcohol burned its way down ellie's throat and she swore that she could feel her face flush.

you sat up suddenly, stomach nearly slamming against the table edge as you pushed yourself forward. your laugh was breathy now, as if it had taken all of the effort in the world for you to sit straight. you slapped your hand over your own shoulder blade in explanation. "right there," you clarified.

"what was it?" jesse asked, and ellie noticed that his face was looking a little red as well.

you shrugged. "i didn't get that good of a look," you sighed. "but it's probably something cool."

"damn," dina said wistfully. "she's cool."

ellie scoffed. "bullshit, i have never heard you say that cat's cool."

"what's wrong with cat?" jesse pipped in. you curiously raised an eyebrow, and ellie tried hard not to look at you.

"nothing," ellie defended. "but dina definitely never used to think cat was cool. you used to say quite the opposite, actually."

"did i?" dina teased. "i've never had a problem with her. you guys just weren't right for each other," she completed, settling seriously as her gaze met ellie's.

ellie could feel your eyes on her, and she could very nearly anticipate some smart remark from jesse. dina's gaze was practically unsettling, how intense it was all of a sudden. there was something there, something knowing between herself and dina. ellie brought her glass to her lips once more, a cop out from having to reply.

just like that, the gaze was avoided. your arm bumped against ellie's as you sank down in defeat.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

how had you ever been sad?

the music had been turned up louder, louder than seth's grumbles and protests. it was something old, something with a lot of guitar that sounded like people would dance in boots to. ellie had rolled her eyes and swatted at you after your attempted description, but you didn't mind. you knew it was silly. the alcohol was too strong for you to mind.

you danced with dina, feeling like the most radiant person in the world while your skirt swished around your ankles. your own laughter sounded far away, echoing in your ears. your cheeks genuinely hurt from smiling, and if anyone were to place a hand across your forehead, surely you would feel feverish.

cardigan forgotten, your sleeves had been bunched up between your elbows and wrists. you twirled and twirled, laughing hysterically as your arms got tangled with dina's. you could hear ellie and jesse laughing too, somewhere far away and hazy. you knew in the back of your mind that they were laughing at you, but you didn't mind. you laughed along anyway.

the burn in your throat that tempted a gag with each sip was subdued. each taste no longer prompted a wince, which resulted in probably a sip too many.

you were happy. beaming, even. couldn't you feel like this forever?

time passed in seconds and years while you were drinking in the tipsy bison. had you been dancing ten minutes ago, or ten weeks ago? you looked down at your feet, trying to decide if they looked tired.

you squinted hard. were your feet always this blurry?

"you alright, kid?"

you squinted harder. a man was talking to you. you looked up, and raising your gaze took a few days, maybe.

jesse.

it took a few seconds for his words to process in your ears.

"am i alright?" you questioned, your tongue numb. jesse laughed, so you laugh too.

so silly.

"time for her to go, williams." jesse says. you laughed, then realized he's talking about you, so you twist your lips into a frown.

"no," you disagreed.

ellie raised an eyebrow, in a way that almost looks lazy. she scans you over, almost pretending to be serious, before a lighthearted laugh escapes her.

"ease up," she tells jesse simply. you nodded once along with ellie.

yeah, ease up, you think, because you forgot to move your lips and say it out loud.

everyone seems to be satisfied because the conversation moves along. you sighed, content, and traced your finger along the edge of the table. you mentally searched your brain for the worried fuzz that previously clouded it, but found nothing. the ambience of chatter and laughter was like medicine for your mind.

you were the first of your friends to switch to water. you sipped it slowly, dragging your eyes between dina and jesse. you really did love them, the closest thing to a family that you had ever had. you felt an extremely strong urge to blurt it out then and there, but managed to swallow it along with your water.

you heard ellie laugh so you laughed too, like a reflex. your eyes found her now without even trying, but you never really had to try anyway. it didn't matter if you were sat right next to her or all the way across jackson, you always seemed to just find her. you were completely drawn to her, just as you had always been.

you felt like jelly.

ellie's features had you completely transfixed.

you weren't necessarily listening to the conversation, just studying ellie's features and reactions. the sounds around you had blended together and you blinked heavily, memorizing ellie's side profile as if you hadn't already had it memorized.

your eyes found the strand of hair following the curve of ellie's cheek and chin. the slope of her nose. she kept laughing, the corners of her eyes crinkling up. you stared for so long, your gaze was fixated.

at some point you must've laughed, because suddenly ellie was staring right back at you.

you forget to tear your eyes away, because you just don't really feel the need to.

"the fuck is wrong with you?" ellie questioned.

her eyebrows were knitted together in confusion, though the slow smile that grew on her lips made her look slightly amused, too.

"nothing," you breathed, and not even the alcohol could help the pounding in your chest when ellie looked at you like that.

"-think it's time to call it," jesse concluded, pushing his glass away from him.

"quitter," dina taunted, and she might've leaned in to kiss him but you weren't sure. you weren't looking.

"nothing?" ellie laughed, repeating your words. she squinted at you and leaned in closer, as if that would help her to reveal the truth.

"are you guys heading out too?" dina questioned, standing with jesse.

"in a minute," ellie answered, finally tearing her eyes away from your own.

sloppy goodbye's were given, giggles and thank you's despite seeing each other every day.

you ducked when jesse reached down to ruffle your hair, but you weren't able to dodge it.

ellie watched as dina and jesse left together, hand in hand. once she finally turned back to you, she laughed in astonishment.

"seriously, what?" ellie chuckled, shaking her head under your gaze.

"i don't know, shut up," you avoided, smoothing the material of your skirt over your lap.

"you're a bad liar," ellie said pointedly, leaning in closer with a determined expression as she scanned your facial features.

frowning at ellie's scrutiny, you caved under the minimal pressure that she had applied.

"your hair," you admitted softly. your answer obviously didn't clarify anything for the girl sat next to you. her brows remained furrowed, as if to imply 'go on..'

you shouldn't use alcohol as an excuse, but you did. reaching a gentle hand out, your fingers brushed against the strand of hair that followed the curve of ellie's cheek. her expression seemed to change a million times within the few, short seconds that the interaction lasted.

"i like when you wear it like this," you said simply, dropping your hand back onto your lap. ellie instinctively reached her hand back and touched her hair, cheeks reddening.

"shut up," ellie said, but her tone lacked any real authority.

"why?" you asked back, nearly instantly. "can't i compliment my friend?"

ellie shook her head, dropping her gaze and swallowing a chuckle as she finished off the rest of the liquid from her glass.

"what?" you asked, lips etching into a smile. you weren't sure why you were pushing now, but it was entertaining. "you said i looked pretty earlier, remember that?"

ellie coughed, eyes widening for only the briefest of seconds. "so what? you do look pretty." ellie doubled down, her gaze flicking over you. her voice was smooth, but her cheeks were red. it made you giggle.

"okay, thank you. you do too," you responded, fidgeting with the bottom hem of your sweater.

ellie pushed away from the table, rolling her eyes. "oh, fuck off," she snorted.

you scrambled out of your chair, thankfully grabbing onto the hand that ellie had offered out to you as you hopped down from the high top.

"fuck you, you look good," you insisted.

ellie dropped your hand, her nose wrinkling as she stopped to study you once again. "what's the matter with you?"

"oh my god, williams. you have got to lighten up," you laughed, looking away from her as you shook your head. you felt hot.

ellie was silent as you left the tipsy bison, and your stomach twisted.

was she actually bothered? you were being too much, right?

the sky was dark. everything outside seemed still.

you breathed in deep as the crisp air hit your face. something about the cold air burning your hot cheeks felt like a wave of reality. there was that lingering of the harsh winter still in the air, but something else, too. the promise of a warm spring to come.

"sorry," you said suddenly, concentrating really hard on the steps that you were taking. "i didn't mean to-"

"please. don't be dumb," ellie said. her tone was lighthearted. you were fine.

ellie's pace was relaxed as you both walked. it was a stark contrast from how tense she had seemed previously in the evening. you wondered if she had been using the alcohol to her own advantage too.

lost in thought, you nearly tripped over your own feet. ellie's laughter bounced around the empty road but she grabbed your hand immediately, helping to steady you. ellie didn't let go, so you didn't either.

you looked sideways at her, trying to step carefully so your steps didn't sound clumsy. ellie scanned her surroundings a lot when she walked, even now. it was less pointed now, but you could still notice it.

you thought back to the previous evening, ellie's body in your bed and the way in which she had looked at you. so close, so intentional.

you might've been anxious, but you weren't stupid. it had been a moment, right?

or at least, it almost was.

the alcohol wasn't pacifying anything. your heart rammed against your chest.

"where'd you go?" ellie asked, and the softness of her tone caught you off guard.

"nowhere," you answered, squeezing her hand. "just thinking."

"about?" ellie pressed, purposely bumping into you. you slowed to a stop, shrugging your shoulders.

"everything," you answered simply, dropping her hand. it almost wasn't a lie.

"ah, right. that narrows it down," ellie snarked.

"shut up," you laughed breathlessly, because her face seemed to be the only thing in full focus and ellie's stare was intense, even when it wasn't intended to be.

"what, we're keeping secrets now?" ellie pressed, her voice raising in pitch. her cheeks were still tinted, you could tell even in the dark.

a secret or two was fine to keep, you thought, especially if it was about potentially being in love with your best friend.

"please, as if you don't have any secrets," you retorted, almost a little too accusingly. ellie had been different lately.

off.

ellie shook her head, eyebrows pinching together. "not from you," she answered, taking a step closer. her tone made your heart soar, but something about the way that her eyes changed made her words not entirely believable.

the smallest difference would make you spiral, but that's what the alcohol had been for. now, you could simply play along.

"well, me neither," you insisted as you continued down the familiar path to ellie's.

ellie scoffed in response. "aren't i special?" she said sarcastically.

"you are." your tone was straight forward, adamant.

ellie shook her head, which made you frown. you wanted her to reach for your hand again.

you lingered outside of ellie's, staying back a step as she fumbled with the door.

"i'll see you tomorrow, okay?" you said softly, not enjoying how much effort it was taking you now to enunciate your words.

"you're not coming in?" ellie asked, tilting her head at you. she looked disappointed, you thought.

"i don't know. you're making me nervous," you admitted without any time to regret it.

ellie laughed in disbelief. "what are you talking about?"

"you're being intimidating," you spat out, wrapping your arms around yourself. you wouldn't ever say that to her, but for some reason you did, and now you had to deal with the dejected expression that appeared on ellie's face.

"how?"

"because im kind of drunk and i know i'll say something without thinking."

"something bad?" ellie questioned, eyebrows raised in concern.

"no," you answered.

"i think.. i'm gonna need an example."

you shook your head. "stop. you're being so... i can't handle it.

"i'm not doing anything," ellie argued.

"i know. you're just.. you."

"in a good way, or a bad way?" ellie asked, red in the face and obviously confused. you felt like you were floating, watching your body from afar and silently screaming at yourself to shut up! stop talking!

"a good way. a really, really good way."

brows still pinched together, the tiniest ghost of a smile appeared at ellie's lips. "what're you doing?" she asked slowly, her tone dropping.

"i don't know," you rushed out. you were dizzy. very dizzy, and you felt like you were burning up. you dropped your arms to your sides.

"are you being serious right now, or are you fucking with me?" ellie asked, stepping closer.

your body felt like it was buzzing. your words nearly came out in a whisper.

"i'm serious."

"you could've just said so," ellie muttered, eyes darting across your own.

it was like all ellie needed was confirmation that she wasn't being misguided, and she turned into a different person. not unrecognizable, just more confident. more assured.

you bumped your back against the door for stability. your knees felt like they could buckle at any second. you wished that maybe you had drank more, because your nerves seemed to be taking control now.

"i don't know what i'm doing," was all that you seemed to be able to muster up with ellie looking at you like that.

your words had some sort of reaction within ellie, because the corners of her lips twitched and she let out a breathy laugh, the scent of alcohol consuming you.

kissing ellie wasn't how you had imagined it to be.

it was sudden and hurried, her lips crashing against your own. your breath caught in your throat once her tongue slid against yours.

you had imagined, maybe, that everything around you would quiet.

instead, all of your senses were on high alert. the taste of alcohol in her mouth, the wind stinging your cheeks. your stomach twisted and turned and your knees threatened to give out at any second.

you pulled away eventually, eyes wild and glistening.

"ellie?"

"was that okay?" ellie's voice was quiet and you found yourself nodding before her sentence was even finished.

at your confirmation, ellie gripped your hip with one hand to keep you steady as she pushed the door open with her free hand. the door swinging out from behind you almost made you jump, so ellie tightened her grip.

ellie's lips were on yours again within seconds of the door shutting. you were blind, taking backwards steps into ellie's house.

your heart was pounding. you swore ellie could hear it. you squeezed your eyes shut, forcing yourself to not think.

you startled once your back clumsily hit the wall and ellie tilted her head, deepening the kiss when you were steady once again.

her calloused fingertips slipped underneath the hem of your tank top, ghosting along your stomach and waist. the shaky sigh that you released into the kiss seemed to only encourage her more.

surely you would need to breathe soon, but you wouldn't dare pull away.

it wasn't anything like you allowed yourself to imagine, but that was fine. you weren't disappointed, it was just different.

you got the sudden urge to step back and look at her, to make sure that she was still your ellie, but you wouldn't.

stop. thinking.

ellie's hands were on your neck and then your shoulders, pushing your cardigan away from your arms and onto the floor. you dug your fingertips into the fabric of her shirt, pulling her body against your own. each breath apart was hurried and shaky, as if you couldn't collapse together again quick enough.

ellie's mouth attached to your jaw, kissing upwards until she was right below your ear. a small breathy sound left your throat, and you could feel ellie's lips turn upwards against your jaw.

butterflies exploded in your stomach. your hands were shaking as you wrapped your arms around ellie's shoulders, tugging her closer and pulling her lips back to yours.

this was everything that you had always wanted, right?

so you tried to push away the growing pit in your stomach and focus on the feeling of ellie's fingers tracing against your flesh.

goosebumps pricked over your bare arms and your body knocked against ellie's. you barely had one second to be insecure before ellie's grip tightened, hiding the trembling of her fingers.

ellie’s name left your mouth as a whisper, though it still gained her attention. she pulled away, just barely, her eyes boring into your own as her fingertips pulled at your hips.

“is this okay?” she asked, her words serious and steady.

you nodded, trying desperately not to shy under her gaze. “promise,” you whispered.

ellie kissed you again, the movements bordering on erratic. your breath hitched, every single thought in your mind ramming together and forming mush. your fingers found ellie's shirt, pressing your palms against her back.

you couldn't believe this was happening. and yet...

you were nearly certain that your hands were shaking. you hardly even noticed the fact that ellie's hands were shaking, too. your nails lightly dipped into ellie's back, causing her to sigh against your lips.

you had never- obviously. ellie knew that. was she considering that now? were you disgusting for even thinking it?

you assumed ellie had. though she never really seemed to like to talk about that sort of stuff with you. she had been with cat for awhile-

you deepened the kiss, speeding up to match the pace of ellie's movements.

not the time to think about the past.

"ellie-" you mustered, the words barely audible and practically swallowed by the kiss. ellie heard it, however, and something about it made her pull away.

ellie snapped back, her lips leaving yours just as suddenly as it had been when she first kissed you. she quickly pulled her hands away, taking a step back.

you nearly gulped the air, trying to catch your breath and make sense of the situation. you pressed a hand against the wall behind you, steadying yourself.

"ellie? what's-"

"shit," ellie murmured, taking another step away from you and shutting her eyes tight.

your stomach dropped.

the situation was unfamiliar to you, but anyone could tell that something was wrong.

this wasn't how it was supposed to be.

you froze, eyes wide and lips swollen. you watched as ellie raked her hands through her hair, pacing away from you.

"ellie, what?" you pressed, your voice coming out in a pathetic whisper.

"nothing," ellie dismissed, refusing to meet your eyes.

your heart hammered against your chest, a wave of emotions flooding over you.

shame, disgust, guilt, regret-

"el-"

"seriously, nothing. it's just late. you drank a lot, right?" ellie accused, staring at the floor.

you shook your head, humiliation digging a hole into your stomach. "not too much, obviously. i'm fine, what's-"

"it's just late," ellie repeated. "i'm tired. you should probably get home."

and there it was.

you pressed your palm harder against the wall in an effort to prevent yourself from collapsing onto the floor.

every doubt, every insecurity, every reason preventing you from being honest with ellie about your feelings rang true in your head. your anxieties had been right, and now there was no taking it back.

you tried to catch her eye in the dark, but ellie wasn't budging.

"w-what?" you breathed out, tears pricking in your eyes.

"you should probably get going," ellie reinforced, her voice devoid of any emotion.

before you could get another word in or even process what the fuck had just happened, ellie turned her back and left the room.

you stood alone in the dark, hands trembling at your sides.

what?

you stayed still for a moment, holding your breath and hoping that ellie would come back.

she didn't.

you gathered your cardigan from the floor, rushing to cover your arms and flee from the scene of the crime.

your body felt as though it was in shock when you were greeted again by the cold night. the unforgiving chill and the fevered warmth throughout your body were battling to win, each sensation fighting to take over.

you wobbled only a few steps away from ellie's house. your stomach lurched. you only had a second to keel over before you threw up, all of the alcohol and shame making itself apparent on the street.

you wrapped your arms tight around your body, trying to force your brain to wrap itself around what happened. you couldn't make sense of it.

you thought that you might throw up again, but instead a sob choked its way up your throat.

you waited just a second, sobs rattling your chest with your arms tightly wrapped around yourself. you stared at her house, willing her to come outside, tell you it was some sort of sick joke and comfort you.

you knew that she wouldn't.

you carried yourself home, steps heavy and uneven. you stifled your cries until you were inside, falling to the ground as soon as your door was shut.

nothing, you thought, felt as bad as this right now.

you rested the back of your hand against your forehead, willing this all to be some sort of alcohol, feverish induced dream.

surely that didn't just happen. it couldn't have, you didn't want it to.

even if ellie was just interested in some sort of drunken hookup and then came to her senses, you were her best friend. how could she suddenly be so detached, so casually cruel without another regard for your feelings? even if she didn't like you, you were her best friend.

you cried like a stubborn child having a tantrum.

it was all that you could really manage to do.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

#ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams x you #ellie williams fanfic #ellie tlou x reader

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enhafilthandfiction · 2 years ago

Note

Can u do making out with jungwon headcanons 🤭

₊˚ʚ Making out with Jungwon✧˚

A/n : Hello Anonnie! Thankyou so much for requesting! In my previous post I have written a whole fic of making out with Jungwon, so if you'd like to, you can check it out!

Warnings : Making out (obvi), grinding, neck kissing, hickeys, love bites, slight swearing, ass groping, mentions of touching him over his pants and him getting a boner

Word count : 552 words

Masterlist - Tips

Poor baby would become addicted to your lips, esp when they lingered on his for a little longer.

Even when you pull away for breath, he's definitely the type to chase after your lips in a needy manner.

He's even the type to make it very intense and be quite tense himself

"Wonnie calm down baby, there's no need to rush"

But he would just be very excited and giddy almost, loving the feeling of your lips on his.

He would always close his eyes, focusing on the feeling

When he wants more of you, he would either lick your lips or gently bite down on your lower lip, making you yelp in surprise.

When you lips part, he wastes no time sliding his tongue in your mouth, tasting you and exploring your mouth.

And the second his tongue meets yours there's no going back oml

He feels aroused by the feeling and starts squirming around, his hips twitching

When your hands snake to the back of his head to pull him closer, he almost loses it.

He starts kissing you like it the last time he's ever going to be kissing you.

Then you pull away, making him whine at the loss of warmth on his lips

But then he whines because you lips are on his neck, sucking on his sweet spots and kissing softly, almost in a teasing manner.

He feels himself get harder at the sensation, and when you point it out, he feels his cheeks go red, too shy about it.

But that's until you start marking him up, he feels your teeth gently nip at his skin and suddenly his shyness is out the window

He bucks his hips up, desperate for any sort of friction

He tilts his head back, giving you more surface area as he whimpers out you name

"Y/nn please, I need more"

He's such a needy baby I swear

His warm hands find your waist, sneakily sliding under your sweater and rubbing your sides.

But when that doesn't work, he's not afraid to find your backside, groping your ass

Does this while kissing too, just to rile you up

Maybe if he's feeling a little more confident, grabs your hand and places it on his growing bulge

"Feel how hard I am for you baby?"

Moans out when you slightly squeeze him through his pants "Fuuuuck, Y/n, need you"

You smirk at his adorable state; messy hair, puffy lips, red marks decorating his neck and collars, hips twitching and his hardness prominent in his pants.

You lean in for another long kiss, this time grinding your hips on him, giving him some relief.

"Mm t-thankyou y/n" he tries to say between kisses. But unfortunately you still leave him hanging

"Jungwonnie you're so adorable, but I gotta go, I'm gonna be late" you say, leaving him pouting for you to come back

Poor baby >:(

He ends up dealing with his boner in the shower, thinking of you

When he's done and looks at the mirror- notices the hickeys and love bites and immediately his cheeks turn crimson red

He blushes, remembering of what you two did, how your lips felt on his and on his neck and how much he loves kissing you

He feels cool having to hide hickeys 😎

Thanks a lot for reading, I hope you enjoyed it!

Inbox is always open for new requests!! (I need some)

Lyyyy <333

If you enjoyed this post, you can help support my blog by tipping me here! Anything is highly appreciated!

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ferg0s · 9 days ago

Text

Nanase being infatuated by his pink lock partner not cuz he’s like weirdo but because he think she’s so fucking cool. You’re a little flustered by the compliments and praise he gives you for literally breathing. It feels like showing a toddler the most basic magic trick the way his eyes light up and the smile spreads across his face.

“I’m so buzzed!” He exclaims as the two of you make your way on the field. You promised you’d show him your direct shot, and teach him how to do it, and you were sure that he didn’t sleep all night due to the excitement. He was a breath of fresh air in the other wise bleak program. Bluelock was filled with people who would sell your soul for a grain of rice - if they had any respect for you, other wise it would be for free - so his general cheery attitude had you smiling for the first time in weeks.

“Okay-“ you sigh, using the helm of your shirt to wipe your sweat off. “Again.” You instruct as you two get ready to run through the drill again. Him trying to copy what you had showed him and you trying to block him. It was more beneficial to you than him, because explaining the moves to him made you understand the process better and then executing it made you perfect any mistakes.

When the spandex finally came in, you wouldn’t admit it, but you were nervous as fuck. Being surrounded by all the pretty and literal definition of peak female athletic physique has you second guessing yourself as you look at your self in the bathroom mirror. This was such a stupid thing to get hung up on, but with the overall anxiety and self doubt that lingered in bluelock, body dysmorphia wasn’t something unexpected. You convinced your self not to crawl back in the old frumpy uniform by remembering how much you sweat it in, and decided to prioritize not getting a heat stroke over your anxiety. You could cry about it later.

You hoped it wouldn’t be that much of a distraction, maybe if you acted like everything was fine it would-

“WOOOOW!”

You cringed at the sound of Nanase as he walked up behind you. “I didn’t know you had so much muscle-“ he said cheerfully. It was so stupid. Such a small compliment - coming from a man who had more muscle than you could ever have- ogling at your biceps and asking you to flex. You came to hate how he could turn your mood around.

“You look like a Micheal Angeles statue!”

“It’s Michelangelo , Nanase.”

“Oh.”

That stupid himbo had your heart.

When it came time for selection for the U-20 team, the men went first. You crossed your fingers and hoped that Nanases name would be mentioned, glancing over at him with a smile before it began. Looking over in concern when his name didn’t come up. He looked dejected, rightfully so. But when it came turn for the woman’s U-20, and your name was one of the first to be called - you froze. Oh my god, this was your dream.

You seemed to freeze up, only coming to when you felt someone wrap their arms around you and pull you into a hug.

“Oh my god!” Nanase exclaimed. “I’m so proud of you!” He pulled away from you and smiled looking down at you. It took you a minute to realize what was happening. Had he walked across the room to come congratulate you? You could see the remnants of tears in his eyes - no doubt from the crushing news he’d just received, but despite that he has a smile on his face, looking down at you with no joy. No malice, no jealousy. Just… pure happiness.

You felt your eyes tear up, it had been so long since you had heard that. It broke your heart to see that he didn’t get selected, you had seen first hand how capable he was, but regardless, he seemed to focus on your victories rather this his failure.

As he began to blabber about how ‘buzzed’ he was that he’d get to see you play on the big screen, you just looked up at him with a smile on your face. Wondering how your kids would look like, because goddamn… you’re head over heels for this guy.

#ferg0s #blue lock oneshots #blue lock imagines #blue lock x reader #blue lock #bllk #bllk x reader #nanase nijiro

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littledovesnow · 11 months ago

Text

young!coryo x fem!reader fluff

a/n: fluff fluff fluff i love fluff !!!!!! hoep u little snakes like it too <3

-----

Staring at the clock on the wall, you wanted nothing more than to be back in your bed, tea in your hand.

You felt the headache start not long after you woke this morning but thought nothing of it as you gathered your Academy uniform, putting the blame on the new perfume your younger sister was trying.

A soft nudge on your right drew your attention away from the clock, your boyfriend looking over at you curiously.

“Hm?”

“Are you feeling alright? You’re usually one of the few who willingly engages in this dreadful class.”

Coriolanus gestured to the literature class going on around you two, the professor going on about something or another.

Shrugging, you twirled the pen in your hand. “I’m fine, Coryo. Just a little tired.”

Narrowing his eyes, Coriolanus didn’t believe you one bit, but he also knew you well enough to realize that you weren’t going to budge.

“Grandma’am and Tigris went out for the day, you can come rest at my place after classes.” He was privy to your rambunctious home life- two younger siblings and parents who only knew how to fight with one another.

Smiling, you thanked your boyfriend before trying to focus on the rest of the lesson.

-----

Staring at yourself in the bathroom mirror, you were half temped to bribe the Peacekeepers stationed at the back exit of the Citadel and skip the rest of your day. What you thought couldn’t get any worse had surprised you in the worst way possible.

Taking a deep breath, you made sure the slight wave of nausea was out of your system before joining your classmates in the bustling hallways, wanting to avoid a certain blonde’s eye.

“Hey, are you okay?”

You jumped as Clemensia came alongside of you, worry evident on her face.

Sighing, you felt you façade crumble just a bit, confiding in the black-haired girl. “I’m starting to think I’m getting a migraine.”

They were a rarity in your life, you could only count on one hand the number of migraines you could remember, but they gave you hell every time.

Clemensia’s worried frown deepened, unsure of how to help. “Do you want me to get Coriolanus or anything? See if Casca could spare a morphling bottle?”

Shaking your head, you softly groaned at the pain it caused. “No, no don’t get Coryo. He’s got enough on his plate already, he doesn’t need to worry about me, too.”

“You’re kidding if you think he doesn’t worry about you.” Clemensia replied, following you to an emptier hallway, taking your bag while you unscrewed the water bottle.

You gave the girl a look, dropping the now-empty bottle into your bag. “Do not tell Coriolanus. If I still feel like this in a little I’ll tell him.”

Clemensia could see it on your face, you had no intentions of telling your boyfriend, but she didn’t want to interfere, unsure of how Coriolanus would react if he head the news from someone else.

“Whatever you say. Now come on, Casca will probably put us in the Games if we’re late to class again.”

-----

Coriolanus knew you weren’t telling him something when you didn’t respond to Arachne’s dig at your clothing, something you two were known to bicker about.

He scootched his chair over towards you, lacing your hands together. “You sure it’s just tiredness? Because I don’t think I’ve ever seen you not bite back at Arachne, even after our anniversary.”

You felt your cheeks flush at the comment, but you chose to otherwise ignore that part of his comment. “Maybe I have a headache, too.”

Frowning, Coriolanus chewed on his lip. He knew you’ve suffered from migraines and knew that sitting in a classroom wasn’t the best way to get rid of one. “A migraine?” He whispered, not wanting to aggravate the ache anymore.

“A small one. But it’s really nothing, I’ll be fine.” You admitted, still not letting him in on the full truth. “Now shush. I’m not in the mood for Dean Highbottom to unleash whatever punishment he’ll come up with if he catches us talking.”

Coriolanus remained quiet for the rest of class, thumb rubbing soothing circles on the pulse point on your wrist.

As soon as he dismissed the class, Coriolanus was on his feet, grabbing both his and your bags. “Come on, let’s go home.”

You rose after him, grabbing onto Coriolanus’ blazer as the world tilted for a moment. “Hold on.”

“What’s going on? Are you okay?” He asked, setting the bags down to hold your other elbow, keeping you steady.

“Just a little dizzy. Nothing I haven’t experienced before.”

Growing tired of your half-truths, Coriolanus let out an exasperated sigh. “You don’t have to lie to me about how you feel.”

You popped an eye open, seeing worry and anger written over your boyfriend’s face. “Fine, fine. I feel like I was hit by a train, okay? My head’s hurt all day and I nearly threw up after Festus showed us his lunch.”

Coriolanus swore under his breath, helping you to your feet. “You should’ve said something earlier. I’m sure you could’ve left and rested.”

“I’m sure all would have been fine if I suddenly disappeared, Snow. Remember what happened when I left a few months ago for my grandmother’s funeral?”

Coriolanus did indeed remember; he was nearly expelled for the reign of terror he caused after noticing your mysterious disappearance.

“That’s what I thought.” You mumbled, squinting as the bright clouds increased your headache tenfold. “Jesus, when did it get so bright out?”

“I have a few train tokens left, come on. It’ll be faster than walking, and it’s darker in there.” Coriolanus passed the two tokens over to a Peacekeeper, who in turn let you two onto the train heading to the Corso.

-break-

Collapsing on your boyfriend’s bed, you hummed in content when he drew the curtains closed. The walk up to his family’s penthouse nearly took you out, but a promise of hot tea and a nap gave you the strength to make it up.

“At least change before you sleep, don’t crease your uniform.” Coriolanus toed off his shoes, moving your own heels out of the way to avoid a potential tripping hazard.

You groaned, but sat up and shed the maroon blazer and coordinating button-up shirt. “What would I do without you, Coryo?”

Grinning, your boyfriend threw on a pair of more comfortable clothing, helping you into an outfit you kept in a drawer at his place. “Suffer through Arachne’s awful opinions and Festus’ crude remarks alone, I presume.”

You blindly threw a hand out, lightly slapping your boyfriend’s thigh. “Be nice, Coryo.”

Coriolanus laughed quietly, joining you on the bed. “Life is more fun when being bad, you know that.” He quipped, right hand going to rub soothing circles on your back. “Go to sleep, the faster you get over this migraine, the faster we can practice for our next anniversary.”

You were already nearly asleep, Coriolanus guessed, otherwise you would have had a stronger reaction than a simple snort.

-----

a/n: hey send requests that would be dope but i won't write smut it's not my vibe

#coriolanus snow imagine #coriolanus x reader #coriolanus x you #coriolanus snow x reader #coriolanus snow #hunger games imagine #the hunger games #coriolanus snow fluff

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writingstoraes · 1 year ago

Text

90 days 🍷

pairing: charles leclerc/fem!reader

type: written imagine (angst)

word count: 2.3k

notes: this is just very angsty and has little to no dialogue, apologies for errors this was not proofread lolol lmk what u guys think <3

warnings: none too gruesome! mentions of break up, fights, and recollections of fond memories only

about: charles can’t avoid you forever and he cannot afford to do so. it’s his first time seeing you again after you parted ways, and it seems as if the entirety of his being still belonged to you.

Charles wanted to say no. He wanted so badly to decline his brother’s invitation by possibly coming up with some reason why he couldn’t go, but in his heart, he just cannot find the will to do so.

He was torn, between the possibility of seeing you again after everything that went down and the fact that he desperately needed a night out. Ever since the two of you decided to give each other’s hearts back, Charles had been picking up pieces of himself and he admits he’s all over the place. Not having you in his life sucked. He doesn’t bother to find any melancholic or beautiful word to describe it; everything just sucks. At the same time, he doesn’t think avoiding you would be any better. You both had many similar circles of friends and you both lived in the same, small city. It was only some time before your paths had to cross again, inevitably.

He thinks this might possibly be the better option, like ripping off a band-aid. Maybe by seeing you, he can assess the progress he’s made for himself, that is if he’s actually made any. But deep down he knows, he looks forward to seeing you, finally being in the same room as you because it felt like forever since he was last graced by your presence.

Had the two of you been together still, Arthur’s invitation will probably be of two counts instead of just one. It’s like he could still picture you standing in front of your shared room’s full-length mirror, trying on an outfit you have already decided on, proceeding to ask him what you should do with your hair. Charles adores the way you pull out pictures from your phone, knowing he was more of a visual learner, just so he could pick which hairstyle would suit you better.

As he proceeds to the bathroom so he can freshen up before leaving, he glances at the completely empty countertop. Before, tiny trinkets of your things were laid out on it neatly. He could spend an eternity watching you do your makeup or curl your hair. He misses seeing tubes of foundation and eyeshadow palettes spread on the marble top or cords of your hair straightener plugged in the socket near the paper towel. He remembers the time when you had let him do your make-up and he ended up giving you a spectacular smoky eye, and by spectacular, you looked like a raccoon. But the two of you laughed about it anyway, and he apologizes by peppering kisses all over your face as he drags the makeup wipes across your eyelids.

The nightlife you can find in Monaco was definitely unbelievably alive if you had to describe it. It doesn’t matter if it was a race weekend; even if it wasn’t, the city was always awake. High-class restaurants filled to the brim with reservations, bars littered with people who want a fun night that they forget whatever it is they’re running away from. He’s probably doing the same thing, so he can’t judge.

Charles ignores the fact that his car ride to the restaurant was just him retracing all your steps and recalling all the memories he’s made with you. The glovebox of his car used to have some of your belongings and he had been accustomed to seeing you in the passenger seat, now his undeniably really cool and expensive car just seemed lonely and empty. He knows in his heart that car rides with you were always the most peaceful and most fun, he doesn’t mind how you play all your favorite artists’ songs even if he doesn’t know half of them. He gets the kick when he sees you singing along, your voice filling the cold car. He misses seeing you close your eyes in solitude when the windows are down, reiterating how you prefer riding his car with the windows down because it gives you a clearer view of what’s outside.

He sighs to himself when he gets out of the car, prepared to accept whatever the world plans on throwing at him should it decide that it was time for him to run into you. Whatever this was that Arthur had planned was not a party, more of a lively dinner and chat with friends, which Charles was thankful for because he was sure seeing you again in combination with heavy liquor would just result in his relapse.

Charles enters the restaurant, seeing a few of his friends. He nods at some, smiles at others, and embraces the others rather tightly. He feels a bit lighter, slowly starting to think it might be a good idea he came. It was rather nice to be surrounded by friends, maybe for a while he can forget the despondency he left at home and in his car.

“Hey, you came!” Arthur gleams, as he makes his way over to his older brother. He slings his arm over Charles’ shoulder, right after they exchange light kisses on the cheek.

“Of course, I did,” Charles replies, glad he saw his brother again, who looked like he was having fun.

“Also, I know you already know but I invited her. She’s Carla’s friend and the three of us have a ton of mutual friends, it would just seem wrong not to,” Arthur raises the subject, something Charles hopes he wouldn’t, but it had to be addressed anyway.

“No, it’s fine.” he responds, trying to appear as emotionless as he can. “I mean, technically we have the same friends. It’d just be a matter of time before we had to see each other again.”

“I know, but-” the younger retorts, quite worriedly.

“It’s okay, Arthur. Besides, it was my decision to go anyway. I can’t avoid her forever.”

“Plus, it’s been what, 3 months? If by now I still can’t handle seeing her without breaking down then I really need to seek some help.” Charles says, followed by a light and quiet laugh. He tries to make a joke of it all, a desperate attempt to lighten the atmosphere, but not even his own brother is a stranger to his obvious salvage.

But all it really was was just humor. It really has been three months, a shy of 90 days since you departed from his life, but he’s afraid to admit he was still tethered to you and he’s even more scared to face the reality he might never be completely over you.

Arthur then left him as he proceeds to sit down. He chooses a seat near the corner of the table, already beside Joris and in front of a friend. This way it’s unlikely you had to sit in front of him or beside him. Before his brother left him to his thoughts, the younger Monegasque was quick to reassure him you haven’t arrived yet, so at the moment he should have nothing to worry about.

But then he hears your name. He hears Arthur greet you at a distance he knows is in the restaurant’s front doors. The sound of your lively and soothing voice travels to his ears and it’s as if he winces in pain by hearing you. If your voice alone can shatter the pieces of himself he didn’t even think he had anymore, he’s in fear of what happens to him when he gets to set his eyes on you.

Joris sends him a knowing stare, a look of worry in his eyes, and Charles knows it was his signal that you were right behind him. Charles tries his best to not look back, to not glance at you, even if it felt like he was physically fighting the muscles in his neck and back.

You make your way to the table, smiling to friends and hugging some, and Charles feels his heart break as soon as his eyes landed on you. It didn’t make it better that you looked breathtaking, your hair neatly parted to the side, and the dress you wore hugged your body rather perfectly. He feels a lump in the back of his throat, still not immune to the effect you had on every room you entered. He didn’t know how you did it, but each time your presence fills a room, everything just becomes brighter and lighter. He feels his chest lighten, yet at the same time, it feels as if it’s being weighed down by tons of rocks.

The ridiculously long table Arthur had acquired was of no help. You were sitting fairly far away from him, but you were on the opposite side so he still got a clear view of you. The restaurant’s warm light hits you to perfection, the features of your face highlighted rather marvelously it makes Charles’ heart hurt. Deep down he feels you were avoiding his gaze, trying your best not to look at his direction, so Charles tells himself to do the same. For some time he desperately tries to fill his mind’s own silence by conversing with his friends, trying to forget the fact that you were mere seats away from him.

He feels as if someone had ripped his heart out of his chest and smashed it to the ground, stomped on it until all the blood had drained out of it until it turns white and pale. Truly, seeing you had just proven he was still aching, in the same magnitude as the first day he slept on a bed without you in it. 90 days and still he thinks he hasn’t made any progress, so terrible he wants to bash his head just to get over you.

Charles wonders how someone can go from a soulmate to a stranger, how you can go from being the person he runs to when he feels like the world is crashing down on him to someone who’s behind the tears he quietly sheds at night. How someone who’s met his family and the entire team in Ferrari, how one can go from being Fred’s self-proclaimed daughter to someone he can’t even look at without being in pain.

No matter how hard he tried to avoid it, his eyes unconsciously still landed on you. He feels something pull at the nerves in his heart whenever you smiled and laugh, and he figures you were still as beautiful as the day he lost you. He closes his eyes and remembers the day the two of you hit your tipping point - the night you packed up your things and left your shared apartment, leaving Charles to ponder alone in a cold and empty room. He remembers how you both started to settle things as calmly as you could and he’d forgotten how you got to a point where it was just frustration and pent-up anger. He can still picture how you slammed the door behind you and he remembers how he threw his phone across the room - not aimed at you, but out of emotion.

“Earth to Charles,” Joris snaps his fingers across the table, trying to get his attention.

“Yeah? Sorry, zoned out a bit.”

“Uh, Peter’s asking how you’ve been,”

“Oh well I’m okay. Life’s not always sunshine and rainbows so it is what it is,” Charles replies, adding a small laugh at the end.

“Hey, by the way, I’m sorry about your split with Y/N. Must have been tough.”

“It was,” he says, turning his head to look in your direction and looks back at his friend right after. “But it’s all good.”

Except Charles was just a liar. It was not all good, he knew that, and everyone who knew him well enough would see right through him. He’s never been a good liar nor a good pretender, people close to him knew he was hurting. Joris knew it, thankfully, he got Peter to change the subject before he pried any further. But Charles couldn’t blame them, because they were witnesses to his greatest love story yet - the one he had with you.

He misses you, so bad it makes him want to just walk up to you and tell you he longs for you. He misses you more than he remembers you. He doesn’t care about his friends anymore or what people might say, he doesn’t care if he’s going to ruin all the progress he’s made no matter how little it was, he wanted you back in his life it’s disrupting all his senses. All he could do now was look at you and wonder how you’ve been doing, because God knows he can’t ask you himself. He has a hundred questions he wants to ask you; how you’re processing everything, if you’ve been taking your supplements daily because you tend to forget, and if it was still him that resided in your heart.

Except he can’t. So he decides to stash his feelings in a box and stowed it away in the back of his head.

“Hey, uh, I’ll just get some fresh air.” Charles excuses himself, deciding to give himself a breather. Too preoccupied with his own thoughts, he doesn’t notice you were gone from the table as well. And maybe he’s better off not knowing, he didn’t attend tonight just so he can weep and watch you.

Head down yet still cautious of the path he was walking, Charles continues his stride with the goal to get out of the restaurant so he could climb up its balcony that overlooked the city.

As he climbs up the stairs, he notices a shadow, someone else coming down so he decides to step aside and let them through.

Much to his surprise, he was greeted with the only one he’s ever longed for and loved, still.

“Charles,”

“Hi.”

----------

tagging: @slytherheign, @honethatty12, @siovhanroy (lmk if anyone else wants to be part of my tag list hehe)

notes: thank u sm for reading <333

#writtenbyrae #charles leclerc #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc fanfic #charles leclerc x female reader #charles leclerc one shot #charles leclerc drabble #charles leclerc angst #formula 1 #f1 #formula 1 imagine #formula 1 fanfic #f1 imagine #f1 fanfic #f1 angst #f1 drabble

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niki-phoria · 2 years ago

Note

broooo u gotta continue the stories of the fan signs especially nikis !!!

i adore this gif he's so pretty

pairing: niki x male!reader (he/him pronouns) genre: fluff word count: 1.0k

warnings: (very brief) mentions of homophobia

includes: idol niki x fanboy reader, blushy niki, supportive jay, this can be read by itself, the breaks are supposed to be timeskips lol, i kept it as male reader bc that's what the original request was, i hope that's okay !!

a/n: thank you for requesting !! i hope you like it :))

ENHA REACTION TO MEETING A FANBOY

requests open !! read my rules first

“hello?”

“hey, it’s y/n,” niki lights up immediately when he recognizes your voice. he pulls his hood further over his head as he rushes out of the building in search of privacy. he waves off jungwon’s confused glance when he’s finally outside. “we met at the fansign earlier.”

“yeah, i remember you,” he smiles though you can’t see it. “it’s good to hear from you.”

“it’s good to hear from you, too.”

“hey, niki- oh, sorry,” jay pauses when he sees the boy on his phone, silently setting his bag down on the ground. niki simply nods, turning his attention back to you. your phone has been propped up against a pile of books to keep you in frame as you continue typing up your assignment.

“when do you have practice?”

niki glances up at the clock before turning back to you. “right now, actually,” he chuckles.

you finally turn back to the camera, lifting up your phone so he can see you more clearly. it’s a small gesture, but he appreciates it all the same. “i’ll call you later, then?”

he nods with a smile mirroring your own. “i look forward to it.”

“you always say that.”

“i always mean it.”

you playfully roll your eyes as he chuckles. “bye, niki,” he brings his hand up to form a half heart. it’s become a habit since you first started talking regularly and slowly grew more comfortable around each other.

“bye y/n.”

“is that the boy from the fansign?” niki jumps slightly at the question; having forgotten about jay entering the room.

his face flushes a light pink as he turns his phone off and shoves it back into a pocket of his bag. “his name is y/n.”

“so it is the boy from the fansign,” jay chuckles. he walks closer as niki stands up, joining him in the middle of the room in front of the mirrors. “you guys facetime?”

niki nods. “we’re friends.”

“just friends?” he looks away, ignoring the way his face lights up with a deep blush. jay laughs at his embarrassment as he walks over to pat his shoulder. “don’t worry, i won’t tell anyone. besides, i think it’s cute.”

he purses his lips as he wills his face to stop burning, silently grateful for the support. “thanks, hyung.”

niki spends weeks thinking about you and debating whether or not he should take a chance on asking you out before he finally makes up his mind. it’s late - nearing midnight - when his feelings feel too strong to ignore. you’re telling him about your day in between rounds of the newest first person shooter game you found.

your voice plays clearly through niki’s headset as he plays with his fingers, still silently trying to build up the courage to make the first move. “niki?”

“what?” he jumps slightly at his name. “sorry, what were you saying?”

“is everything okay? you’ve been quiet for a little while.”

“everything’s fine, i’m just… a little distracted.”

“are you sure? we can stop for the night if you’re too tired.”

niki sighs a little. his mind swirls with thoughts and possibilities. telling you could mean risking his career if it ever got out. it could mean losing his friends. losing you.

“i’m okay. i promise.”

“okay.” the few seconds of silence that pass feel agonizing. it’s become common for both of you to go silent while on calls together. it’s a byproduct of spending hours together on phone calls - eventually you run out of things to say. but it’s never felt so suffocating before. “hey, i… have something to tell you, but i don’t want to make things weird.”

“y/n, you could never make things weird between us.”

niki can hear you take a shaky breath before you continue. “i like boys. like… romantically.” his heart skips a beat for a second before he forces himself to relax again. you liking boys doesn’t mean you like him. he’s so caught up in his own thoughts he almost doesn’t notice when you unnecessarily start trying to explain what you meant. “i know it’s not really accepted here and you probably think it’s weird and-”

“i’m in love with you.” the words escape him before he realizes exactly what they are. his eyes widen and his face flushes a deep red. “i mean…” he sighs, setting his controller down and running a hand over his face. “i have feelings for you. strong feelings. i’ve never felt this way before - about anyone. i just… i’m in love with you.”

“i love you too.” niki’s eyes widen. you let out a nervous laugh as you continue. “i’ve been in love with you for a while now.”

“can i take you out sometime? on a date?”

you smile when you speak again. “i’d like that. tomorrow?”

“i’ll come pick you up.”

niki’s hand slips into yours as he leads you further down the river. you follow behind him as you hike through the foliage closer to the water. a gentle breeze blows past you every now and then, rustling your hair slightly.

he squeezes your hand as he leads you over to a small patch of grass near the river bank. a small blanket has been set out, complete with a picnic basket. you can’t help the small chuckle that escapes you. “a picnic?”

niki shrugs as you smile, leaning over to press a kiss against his cheek. “do you like it?”

“i love it. thank you.” niki smiles as he feels the weight of your head lean against his shoulder. you let out a small, content sigh as he reaches over to wrap his arm further around your waist. you let yourself relax further against him as he leans down to press a kiss against your forehead. “you know, i’m really glad i gave you my number,” he whispers.

you shift to look up at him with a small smile. “i’m really glad i called.”

niki hums, moving his left hand up to cup your cheek. he smiles as he tilts your face upwards to pull you into a sweet kiss - only the first of many.

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junikicker · 1 year ago

Note

idk if u take requests but if you do could i request a fic w lady bellaston (maybe w the same reader character as your previous lady bellaston fics??) where they’re at a party and lady b is knowingly flirting with others to make reader jealous all the while sending looks at reader like ‘what are you going to do about it:);)’ and reader takes her to an empty room and fucks her lol no worries if you don’t take requests tho!!

Masquerade - Lady Bellaston x fem!reader

warnings: smut

note: I've really grown to love the oc I creadted with the whole Under Her Spell story. Love that even though the story is officially over, you requested the character again. Also love that you all love the series so much.

word count: 2.2k

“I understand you will attend the masquerade ball next week?” Your father asked, just as he was about to head out for the day. “Affirmative, father. I’ll have William fetch my clothes from the tailor this afternoon.” You responded, looking at him from your desk as you dropped the quill in your left hand.

“You’re not again writing that foolish poetry, are you? Son, how often must I tell you that you are no Shakespeare? And quit writing with your left hand.” He ordered, a deep frown on his face.

“When my time comes around, lay me gently in the cold dark earth. No grave can hold my body down. I’ll crawl home to her.” You recited the words written down on the piece of parchment before you, looking your father straight in the eye. The man’s frown seemed to only deepen at your words. He turned around and left without saying another word. You sighed. Nothing you ever did could seem to make him proud.

Later that day, William arrived with your clothes for the ball. Your father had insisted on the family colors, however, you decided to only go for the blue and switch the black for silver elements. He was not attending either way, so you thought you could just as well do a bit of your won thing.

You hadn’t seen Lady Bellaston since the night the two of you spent at Champagne Lane, but you regularly exchanged letters. William was so gracious to act as a courier for the two of you, delivering your letters to her and her letters to you, so your father wouldn’t suspect anything. William truly was a man of honor. He’d been around the manor for as long as you could remember. For a long time he had been your only friend.

The letters mostly consisted of her telling you about how much she longed to be with you again, while your letters always included a new poem of yours that you had written for her and only her.

Since you met her, your creativity had increased. You saw her in all the little things. The flowers, the sky, the clouds, and the moon with the stars at night. Sometimes even a word was enough to make you think of her.

As the masquerade ball was approaching, you felt yourself grow nervous. It was the first time that you would be seeing her after Champagne Lane. What if she suddenly decided she wanted to end it all? What if she had told anyone? What if she had told your father?

“Are you quite alright, Y/n?” William asked you as he fixed the buttons on your shirt. Whenever your father was not around, he called you by your real name. Whenever you heard your own name, a smile appeared on your face. Your father always called you Atticus. Everyone called you Atticus. Everyone but William, Charles, and now, Clarissa.

“Yes, it’s nothing.” You sighed, your hands a bit clammy. “Is it about Lady Bellaston?” He asked and you met his eyes. “I haven’t looked at the letters. But I sense there is a strong connection between the two of you.” He explained as he stepped aside for you to look into the mirror.

“We have been sleeping together, if that is what you are asking.” You told him as you smoothed out your clothing. “I was not implying-” William started but you cut him off, chuckling. “It’s fine, William. Really.” You told him. “I suppose, I am just nervous to see her again. We’ve been talking over letters over the past two weeks, but what if she decided that she wants to end whatever we are having? What if she thinks it was wrong?”

“Everything will be alright, Y/n. I’ve seen how she beamed when I came with your letters every day. How she was eager to get your reply. She won’t change her mind. And if she does: Whatever happens, happens. Everything happens for a reason.” William tried to soothe your nerves. “Thank you, William.” You genuinely told him and he gave you a smile. “Now leave. And enjoy yourself. Your father is in Paris until the day after tomorrow, do not worry about the time of your return.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow then. And thank you again.” You told him as you got ready to leave. “My pleasure, Y/n.” He spoke and left you alone.

The carriage in front of your home seemed to have arrived just in time for you to leave. You were still nervous but William seemed to have managed to calm your nerves down severely.

There were already loads of people at the masquerade when you had arrived. You got off the carriage and looked at the mask in your hands. With a sigh, you secured the mask over your eyes and tied it at the back of your head.

You looked around, trying to find any sort of familiar figure but decided it was not worth the effort. Everybody looked so different with the mask on. You still tried to find that one particular blonde among the many people.

“You have got to be kitting me! Atticus Huntington?” A voice grabbed your attention and you turned around. You were met with a small man. His hair was neatly pulled back into a slick bun at the back of his head. “Blifil? Is that you?” You asked. You hadn’t seen the man that you knew when he was still a boy in years. “So it is you! I haven’t seen you in a long time. What have you been up to?” The young man asked. “Spent some time in the countryside. Wrote a book. Everything and nothing, really.” You explained. Then Blifil was saying something about how he wanted to go to the countryside too, but it just didn’t seem to be a fitting environment for him and some other things that you didn’t quite catch because you were distracted by something, or rather someone.

About fifteen meters away was a woman in a yellow dress, a mask hid her face, but you would know that hair anywhere. It had a different color than all blonde hair you had ever seen. It had a texture that you’d know everywhere. And she was talking with some man, a tad older than you. A hand on his arm as she laughed at something he said. You had a hard time drawing your eyes away from her but managed to get back to your conversation with Blifil.

“I don’t think you’d be a fit for the countryside either, lad… Look, it was nice catching up with you, but I need to find someone.” You explained and gave his shoulder a pat. “Yes, no worries, I must be off as well.” He said and you parted ways. When you looked back to where you had just seen Clarissa with the mysterious man, there were now two ladies, one dressed in delicate green and the other in a deep purple gown. You looked around. No sign of Lady Bellaston.

As you were about to give up on searching, you saw the yellow dress again out of the corner of your eye. There she was, talking to… Tom Jones? What could she possibly want from Tom Jones? Surely she was not going to allow him to wed Sophia. There it was again. That laugh. That laugh that you had come to adore so much. The laugh that you thought was only for you.

As if Clarissa seemed to have felt you watching her, her head turned and she looked at you, giving you a smirk. That was when you knew what she wanted. It was all a game. She wanted to make you jealous and you hated that it was working. Your jaw clenched when you watched her laugh at yet another joke Ton Jones seemed to have made. She looked at you again, quirking an eyebrow at you as if to say ‘what are you going to do about it?’. You took a deep breath before abandoning your drink on the next best table and then made your way over to where Clarissa and Tom Jones were seated.

“If it isn’t Tom Jones. Are you not supposed to be talking to Sophia? My Lady Bellaston.” You acknowledged her presence as you put on a fake smile for Tom Jones. “I was just about to leave.” He gritted out between his teeth before getting up and leaving.

“Follow me.” You said to Clarissa, grabbing her hand, leading her to the next best room inside that you could be alone in.

“What was that about?!” You asked her through gritted teeth. “Why in God’s name were you trying to seduce Tom Jones?! He’s not in love with you!” You were backing her up against the closed door, leaving no place to escape for her. She had a smug smile on her face as her hands reached behind her head to get rid of her mask before she reached around your head to get rid of yours as well.

She caught you off guard with that. It was not what you had been expecting at all. Confused, you looked at her, meeting her emerald green eyes. “Because I want you.” She breathed out. “And this was the fastest way.” She explained, a hand cupping your face, thumb tracing your bottom lip.

“You’re mine.” You breathed once you had comprehended her words. “You belong to me. And if you ever look at him like that again, you are going to be very sorry, Clarissa.” You told her and her pupils dilated at your words. “Understood?” You asked her, looking deep into her eyes. You took the small whimper that fell from her lips as a yes. “Turn around.” You ordered and she immediately obliged.

You practically tore the dress from her body, not caring if it took damage as you removed it from her body. You just needed so much access to do what you had in mind. “Now I’m gonna show you who you belong to.” You growled into her ear. You looked around to find the next best place to take your activities to and saw a desk in the middle of the room. You got a hold of her hips and led her to the wooden piece of furniture.

One swift movement was all it took for you to lift her up to sit on the desk as you stood between her legs and removed her underwear. As you did, you got the perfect look at her breasts, corset so tight they were threatening to spill out of it. And the little heart-shaped mark was present once again.

You dragged your index finger up her slit and a low moan left the woman’s mouth. “Oh, darling. I’ve barely touched you and you are already drenched.” You chuckled at the wetness you found between her legs.

Without a warning, you thrust two fingers into her dripping core, Clarissa’s head falling back at the rough pace you set from the beginning. Your fingers play with her sensitive bundle of nerves, while one of her hands reach for your hair, gently tugging on it, while streams of moans leave her throat. Your lips latch onto her cleavage, leaving mark after mark on her porcelain skin.

Her gasps get higher in pitch and once you feel her flutter around your fingers, you pull away fully, gaining a groan and whimper in response. Just as Clarissa was about to say something about it, you slipped your fingers back inside, thrusting even harder and faster, a moan taking up the space of her words. Her pupils were blown wide, and her chest was flushed and covered in, what you thought was, art.

Your thumb on her clit continues to tease her further, her gasps becoming more frequent and the rhythm more frantic. Just when you curl your fingers into that special spot inside of her, her back arches fully into you, and a loud moan leaves her mouth. When you press your lips to hers in an attempt to silence her loud moans, the kiss is sloppy and messy. A few moments later, curses in what seemed to be French started leaving her mouth. Within the next few moments, you can feel her walls flutter around your fingers and her hands clawing at your back, into the fabric of your suit, while you throw her over the edge. You helped her ride out her high, before pulling away. “Who do you belong to?” You ask her, wanting to know if she remembered anything about your conversation from before. “Yours.” She panted, trying to catch her breath.

Her hair was now messy, the heart-mark washed away by sweat and her lipstick was smudged. You wondered if there was some on your face. The way she smiled at you made your heart ache. “I think I’m in love with you.” You blurted out. Just as you realized what you had said, you put your hands to your mouth. “Sorry- that was...”

“You think or you know?” Clarissa asked, now back to her cocky self. “I know.”

#gxg #wlw #fem!reader #lesbian #rebecca welton #rebecca welton x reader #ted lasso #hannah waddingham #lady bellaston x reader #lady bellaston #tom jones pbs #junikicker

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officialfics · 2 years ago

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Hii can u pls do a fic where pedri knew famous!reader first they had been friends for a little while and he started catching feelings for her but then gavi meets the reader and they start dating and ledri gets jealous. 💖

This took me longer than expected, I just don’t know how to portray jealousy🙈

warning: a little long,none ⚠️

It's a 03:09 o'clock on a Friday. You're sitting in a chair on set, scrolling through your phone and texting with your friends. You had just finished shooting some photos for a brand, it was a collaboration. The crew were looking at the photos, giving you complements on how photogenetic you are. You couldn't help but start blushing and laughing it off.

You started packing up all your stuff and heading out, till you got a text, from Pedri. Your history with Pedri was super sweet. Your families were close, and you had been neighbors pretty much ever since you could remember. He's your best friend, you had been through everything together. Life wouldn't be the same without him.

The message read "wyd rn"

Y/N: “nothings just heading home from a photoshoot, why what's up?"

Pedri: "there's a party, I have a plus one and I want you to come."

Y/N: “Pedri I would love to, but I'm exhausted, today was a lot"

Pedri: “Y/N I'm not taking no for an answer, and you know that, I’ll be at your place in 20* You knew he wasn't kidding; that’s just how he was. Accepting his offer, maybe this could be fun”.

At home your making food, partying on a completely empty stomach was not your thing. Looking through your cabinets. Pasta was the first thing you saw so, pasta it is.

Halfway through you heard the doorbell, going to open the door and letting Pedri in. he went to give you a warm hug. you both let go when it felt right. There was some strong eye contact, but you didn't think much of it. He entered to the through the living room, to the kitchen. You knew how much he loved your cooking, so you asked him if he would like to have some and of course he said yes.

After lunch, you both took the stairs up to your room. He was on your bed scrolling through his phone, while you were doing your makeup. You caught him glancing over through the mirror.

“What are you looking at?" vou asked.

"You look beautiful Y/n" he ignores your question.

"You don't look so bad yourself" you hit him back with the same energy.

After the makeup, you got dressed. Heading down to the hallway, getting dressed and heading out.

Pedri was the one driving like always. The car ride was fun, listening to music and talking. While on the way to the party, Pedri was telling you about a close friend of his and how he wanted to introduce you to him.

Inside the party You and Pedri started talking to people, and he introduced you to his friends, then you both headed your own ways, that's how it usually went down.

You went to get another drink, when you were approached from a guy, a handsome guy, like your type handsome. That doesn't happen often.

"A martini?" he prompted.

"Something wrong with a martini" you decided to flirt back.

"You're my type" he gets straight to the point.

"And you're mine" you teased back.

"Want to dance?" he suggested.

"With you, yes!" you flirt.

On the dance floor there was tension, a whole bunch of tension. You had fallen head over heals for this guy, so did he and you knew it.

The music was loud, and he was all over you, this man had no self-control. You didn't mind you were in love with this boy without even knowing his name. the night wasn't young anymore, you were tired, and it was about time to head home.

There were eyes on you all night ever since you started hanging with then nameless boy. Pedri later decided to show up later to announce it was time to leave. Getting all your stuff and walking behind him to the car. He started the engine and was about to drive, till a guy knocked on the glass window.

"Were you really going leave without giving me your number?" He said with a grin on his face

"Of course, not lover boy, I just wanted to see if you were going to chase after me" you stated, took his phone and typed in your number.

"Oh, and Pedri thanks for bringing her to the party" he said waving you off goodbye.

Half of the drive back home was silent, till Pedri decided to talk.

This wasn’t like him, he would normally be more talkative. You didn’t want to think anything of it as it could have been a misunderstanding on your behalf.

"That's Gavi by the way, my close friend, the one I told you about earlier" he states, no longer silence in the car.

"THAT'S GAVI, YOUR KIDDING" you shouted hysterically.

You couldn't believe it, maybe you were overreacting a bit, but that wasn't what you were expecting.

Plus, he's Pedri's what if he wasn't cool with it.

"It's fine Y/n if you like him you should go for it" he said not looking at you, but the road.

What was up with him.

He drove you home and you both said goodbye.

_______TIMESKIP______

You're at Gavi's apartment on the coach watching a movie, while Gavi was in the kitchen making breakfast. He came into the living room with the food and giving you a kiss on the forehead.

"Y/N there's a gathering with the team and we could bring our family, and you're coming with me" he demands.

"I would love to Gavi" you respond.

"Is Pedri coming" you asked. Truth is Pedri hasn’t reached out to you in weeks, he hasn’t even responded to you messenger. One time he even threw a fuss, and told you to go to your boyfriend, since you loved him so much and forgot about your friend.

"No, actually he said something came up" he said snapping you out of your thoughts .

This isn't the first time Pedri has done this, he's been distant the last couple of weeks. Ever since that night in the car and when you and Gavi made it official. You would invite him for night outs, movie nights or hang outs, but he didn't come to any of them. He declined multiple time, and the time he did come it, he wouldn't be himself. You wanted to tell Gavi, little did you know he already knew.

"Why didn't you tell me before Gavi, he's my best friend" you demanded an answer.

"You're a flirter Y/N, I thought you could see it. It was clear" he said embracing you in a hug.

"I'm such an idiot, om my god he liked me, and I went for his friend. He was jealous that's why he acted like that?" you rambled.

"He will get over it Y/N, just give him time, you can't choose who you love after all.

𝐖/𝐍: Hope you liked it😅

#gavi imagine #gavi x reader #gavi one shot #gavi fluff #pedri gonzalez #fc barca #football one shot #football fics #reblog post

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wonderswritings · 2 years ago

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Reapers Fall 2: Ready to Comply

Summary: In one moment, a life ended. In the same moment, a life began. Pairings: Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley x Fem!Reader AN: I literally wrote the last half of this right before I went to bed. So, it's unedited, and possibly a little rushed? I don't think it's rushed but I also need sleep so what do I know. The Reapers Fall pt.1

☠

“Reaper! Reap- Grim! Grim answer me dammit!” Simon jerked to, sitting up in bed, his chest heaving as he called out your name. He made a face when there was no response, only silence. Oh. Oh.

I promise, I will always come back to you. I’ll see you soon.

Liar. You lied. You didn’t keep your promise. You’re a liar. And now he’s left all alone. Alone and in agony.

Today, we remember and honor the life of one of the greatest soldiers I’ve had the pleasure of ever working with and habing the privalege to call friend. She was one of the greats, and today, we leave a legend to rest, in the peace she deserves.

Simon scoffed as he got out of bed, making his way to the enclosed bathroom, splashing cold water on his face. He grabbed the sides of the sink, taking a few deep breaths before he looked up, looking at his reflection in the mirror. The longer he stared, the angrier he got, and in a fit of rage he punched the mirror, the mirror breaking into pieces, some shards cutting his hands, his knuckles bleeding as he his chest heaved, tears welling in his eyes.

☠

Flashes of moments. Flashes of moments you couldn’t place or understand. Something loud going off, things falling. The feeling of heat, and then nothing. Waking up to a blinding light, blurry faces standing over you, a prick in your arm and then a cold sensation spreading. Then it was burning, like your body was on fire from the inside. You couldn’t move as you screamed your voice hoarse. In and out of consciousness, all you felt was pain and confusion. And then one day, you opened your eyes, and there was no pain, and everything was clear. For just a moment, it was peaceful.

☠

Ghost walked into Price’s office, nodding at him once before Price motioned for him to sit down. Price leaned back in his seat, looking over at Ghost.

“How’ve you been?”

Ghost clenched his jaw, balling his hands into fists, clenching and unclenching them as he responded.

“M’fine.”

“Si-”

“The psychologist cleared me. I’m fine.”

“It’s okay if you’re not. We all under-”

“I am fine. People die all the time. You move on. I’ve moved on. I’m fine.”

Price sighed, nodding slightly.

“You’re cleared to return to active duty. Recruits are waiting for you. They’re yours for the day.”

Price leaned forward, grabbing one of the files from the corner of his desk, placing it in front of him.

“Try not to kill any of em’.”

Ghost nodded, standing and making his way to the door when Price called out for him, causing him to stop, looking over his shoulder at him.

“You’re right about people dying, but you’re still here Simon.”

“Simon is dead.”

☠

You looked up when the door to your cell opened, watching as two guards walked in, followed by him. You backed into the corner, bringing your knees up to your chest as the man stepped forward.

“Are you ready to comply?” “Please, no, I don’t want to.”

You moved closer to the wall, shaking your head, tears welling in your eyes.

“Please. Please, I’m tired.”

The batons the guards held lit up, casting a blue hue over your face, causing you to jerk your head down into your arms. “We will take you by force if you do not comply.”

“Please.”

“Comply.”

“Please.” With a nod, they moved forward, shocking you with the batons. You screamed as pain coursed through you, your body convulsing. You looked up as they grabbed you, their grip on your arms tightening when you tried to fight them off. You looked over at the man,tears streaming down your face.

“Please.” A needle was placed at your neck, your eyes rolling as they injected you with the knockout agent.

“In the end, they always comply.”

He looked down at you, huffing slightly before he looked up at the guards.

“Take her to the chair. It’s time to begin.”

☠

The chair. You hated the chair. The chair only brought pain and misery, but it was basically your home for what felt like weeks- if you were able to keep track. You were strapped down, your wrists and ankles bound as another strap went across your forehead, ensuring you couldn’t move in an attempt to resist. The moments you spent in the chair were long, agonizing hours. In passing, you heard one of the doctors mention electroconvulsive therapy, the sharp pulses in your brain growing the longer they did it. When they;d finally let you out of the chair, dumping you back in your cell, you couldn’t move. Practically in a catatonic state, you could only lay where they’d dumped you, unmoving as ghost pains from the therapy pulsed through you. On the days you weren’t in the chair, you were on a table, strapped down with different wires and iv’s attached to you. Those days, you missed the chair.

☠

Guards were placed around the room, two more entering with him- your handler. You watched from your peripherals as he walked closer to you, walking around you.

“Status report.”

“The electroconvulsive therapy has done well. She is susceptible to the orders we’ve given. She has exceeded in all of her training. She is ready.”

He nodded as he came to a stop in front of you, looking down at you.

“Just for good measure, hit her one more time.”

A stinging pain spread throughout your head as your handler spoke, but it was just muted background noise as you began to convulse from the pain. Eventually it stopped, and as you slowly began to stop convulsing, your handler came to a stop in front of you, placing his hands on the metal cuffs keeping you in place.

“Are you ready to comply?”

The mouth guard stopped you from speaking, and the strap across your forehead kept you from moving your head. But he wasn’t expecting an answer, not really, not after they’d broken you and molded you into their perfect, obedient little soldier. He shot you a grin before he turned, looking over at the head guard assigned to keep you in line.

“Get her prepped. The chopper leaves in thirty minutes.”

“Yes sir.”

He left, the two guards he entered with following after him as the lead guard moved to stand in front of you, a smirk on his face.

“Well, let’s get you prepped.”

☠

The first mission Ghost was assigned to after your death, he kept looking over his shoulder for you. He was glad he was alone, because after he’d switched the comms off, he was talking to you. Or at least, the ghost of you. The image he’d created felt off, but in the end it was still you, and he felt a small semblance of peace. Now, a year after you’d died, he was going with the motions, doing mission after mission without much care for his own safety. Currently, he was on a mission with the rest of 141, what was meant to be a simple catch and grab turned into an all out firefight that seemed to never end. Somehow, they’d managed to get separated from one another, the onslaught of enemies never ending when there was a lull. The shooting had stopped, and there were no more explosions.

“Sound off.”

One by one, they each reported in, stating their status and location when Gaz’s voice broke through.

“Vans incoming, southside!”

Ghost peered over the ledge, watching as three armored vans drove down the road, only for the van in the middle to turn and stop in the middle of the square.

“V’got eyes.”

“Steady. We don’t know what they’re doing.”

“Copy.”

Ghost steadied his rifle, keeping his eyes locked on the vans when the doors opened.

“We’ve got movement.”

Ghost looked through his scope, watching as a group of at least ten got out of the vans when the back doors to the middle van flung open, a person jumping out. They were dressed in all black, a mask covering the lower part of their face, goggles that were also blacked out covering their eyes. Ghost watched as one of the men walked towards the person, handing them what looked to be a grenade launcher, saying something to them. Ghost watched as they stepped forward, lifting their weapon and aiming at one of the buildings Soap and Price had reported being in.

“Incoming!”

“Move, move, move!”

Ghost watched as they shot a series of grenades, and once the launcher was empty they dropped it, grabbing the weapon the smaller man behind them handed them.

“Cap, what’s the plan?”

“We need to fall back. We’re outgunned and outnumbered.”

Like a button had been pressed, the group that was still standing in front of the vans moved forward, taking aim and shooting. Ghost watched as the person dressed in black aimed, shooting off rounds with an accuracy that puzzled him. They’d come mid fight, and seemingly knew where everyone was currently hiding out at, save for himself.

“Cap?”

“Take em out! We need to take out however many we can so we can retreat safely.”

“With pleasure.”

Ghost started to shoot, the men dropping like flies before they dispersed, taking cover, except for the person in black. They continued to walk forward, the person following them having ducked for cover some time ago. Ghost jumped slightly when a shot landed next to him, and when he looked around he saw the person in black aiming at him. They started to shoot, causing him to take cover. Once the shooting had stopped he slowly peered over the ledge, only to see the person was gone, the square seemingly empty of everyone.

“Anyone got eyes?”

“Negative.”

“Alright, evac is eight minutes out. We hold our ground until they get here then we haul ass, clear?”

“Copy.”

“Ghost, take out as many as you can and then make your way to us.”

“Copy.”

He peered over the ledge, aiming his rifle, looking for any signs of movement. After double checking he lowered his rifle, keeping it close to him as he slowly started to make his way off the balcony and back inside the room.

“Moving.”

He started to make his way down the stairs, keeping an ear out for any sounds of movement. Once he was on the ground floor he kept low, occasionally checking to make sure it was clear before he’d move.

“Heading out now.”

He had just entered the hall where the back door was when it opened, a flash grenade being thrown in. blinded, he stumbled into the wall, huffing when something slammed into him, forcing him to the floor. He’d dropped his rifle, and before he could attempt to reach for it, hands were wrapping around his throat, squeezing. His eyes widened as his vision returned, his gaze landing on the black goggles that looked like pits.

“Lt- come- status.”

Shaking his head, he fought back, managing to knock the person off him. They went back and forth, the person managing to meet his hits with just as much force as his own, even though they were smaller than him. The longer the fight went on, the angrier Ghost became. They’d already managed to cut his arm, blood dripping down his sleeve, seeping into his glove, causing his fingers to become slick. He was starting to become tired, but it seemed like the person in front of him was only getting started. He needed to get them out in the open, with hopes that one of the others could take a shot. Thinking fast, Ghost ran forward, tackling them, causing them both to crash through the window, landing in broken glass as they rolled out into the streets.

“Lt town’s clear. Evac hit some trouble, they're ten minutes out.”

Huffing, he slowly stood, keeping a glaring gaze on the person that continued to lay on the ground.

“Copy.”

Slowly, he made his way to the person, harshly kicking their side. When there was no response, he started to search them, turning them onto their back. His eyes widening slightly when he saw their goggles had fallen off. He continued to search them, and when he glanced up to make sure they were still out he froze. Their eyes were open, but it was as if they were looking through him, their eyes empty, void of any emotion. Within seconds they’d managed to wrap their legs around him, flipping him onto the ground as they stood, preparing to fight. Ghost went to get up when they ran forward, tackling him back to the ground. The two fought once more, until Ghost managed to land a kick to their face, forcing them back as they fell. Ghost’s chest heaved as he stood, glaring at them when he saw their mask had fallen off.

“Lt, I’ve got a clear shot!”

He watched them stand, slowly turning towards them. When they looked up at him, his heart stopped as his blood ran cold.

No.

There was no way, it was impossible. You, you were dead. You are dead. But if you’re dead, then how are you here, standing in front of him? You were looking right at him, but there wasn’t an ounce of recognition on your face, your eyes didn't hold the warm, welcoming feeling they used to. Instead they were cold, cold and dull.

“Lt!”

Shaking his head, he practically screamed into the comms.

“No! Don’t shoot! Don’t shoot! It’s- It’s Grim.”

He could hardly get your name out, not after a year of refusing to say your name, always calling you by your callsign or the nickname he’d given you. But saying your name? It felt dirty, wrong. He watched as you titled your head to the side, slightly making a face.

“Who the hell is that?”

The others were screaming in his ear, but it was as if he was underwater, his only focus being on you. You, who was dead for a year, now standing in front of him not knowing who you were. Or for that matter, who he was. Frozen, he didn’t register the small device that rolled between you both, only snapping out of it when smoke filled the area. Coughing, he tried to wave the smoke out of his way, and through the smoky haze he could just barely make out your figure moving away from him. He yelled your name, his voice growing hoarse as he followed after you. Once the smoke cleared, he looked around, but there was no sign of you. The vans were gone from the street, and you, you were gone.

“Lt?”

Turning, he saw Soap and the others making their way to him. Shaking his head, he muttered your name, turning back towards the road the vans had come from.

“She’s alive. She was right here.”

He turned back towards the others, clenching his jaw as he looked at them.

“She’s alive and I’m getting her back.”

No matter what, he’d get you back. For a year, Ghost went with the motions, going from one mission to the next. Now, he had a purpose. Simon had a purpose. You.

Reaper’s Fall Tags:

@derpoonsunbloom

@daryldixonh0e

Everything Tags:

@jedi-dreea

@scarlett-witchhh

@sammysgirl1997

@cevans-winchester

@rafecameronswhore

@jennmurawski13-writes

#reapers fall #simon 'ghost' riley x reader #simon riley x reader #cod x reader #codmw2 x reader

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pacifymebby · 1 year ago

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t r o u b l e // Chapter Nine

A peaky blinders modern au balletcore story

Chapter List

Sonya

I felt like such a child fleeing from them like that but I couldn't stand to be in that room, having Tommy look at me with such disgust, such judgement the way that he was. I could feel the blame he placed on me then, as if he thought that the hit on Michael could be a direct result of something I'd told Freddie. But if Tommy had bothered to ask he'd know I hadn't told Freddie a thing about my family. That I'd been doing all I could to forget about my brothers whilst it seemed they had forgotten about me.

I burst through the study doors making the two lads who were loitering just outside jump with a start. I couldn't bare to look at them but I did because they'd startled me too and Id frozen like a rabbit in the headlights, my eyes full of tears, my view of them blurred. I covered my mouth with the back of my hand trying to stifle a sob, gasping with the hurt I couldn't contain, so humilated to have them witness my frankly tragic display. But I couldnt help it, I'd always been that kind of girl. The fragile one, the kind if girl who couldn't control her wild emotions, the kind of girl who's emotions controlled her.

I was shaking as I raised my other hand to my mouth, clutching the hand which already smothered my sobs, holding onto it tightly desperately.

For a second the three of us stood frozen, Isaiah watching me with a kind of familiarity, a pity in his eyes as they rested on my distraught flush. The glowing pain in my dark eyes as they darted between him and Bonnie. Bonnie watching me too, his expression hard to read, tranquil as ever and yet, the slightest tug on his brow, his eyes sorry too, something which looked like concern gathering like a shadow in his greenish eyes.

I stood there, frozen, chest rising and falling eratic and ragged. And then just like that I was gone. Like a doe fleeing the road. And fleeing was exactly what I was doing.

I ran down the hallway, feet light and quick on the stairs as I fled to the only place I thought I stood a chance and peace. The only place I really knew how to get to in that big house which my brothers kept calling home but which felt far from it to me.

I darted down through the door at the bottom of the stairs, under an archway and across a smaller room, the marble floor cool through my socks as I ran, barely skimming the floor. So light on my feet. Unaware that I was being followed because the lad ib pursuit was just as nimble as me.

When I slipped through that little door into the damp little tunnel which led out into the meadow, far across the grounds of the Shelby Mannor, I felt the damp from the cold stone floor soaking into my socks, felt the strange weight of the water soaking into the thick fluff. But I didnt care about the water, didn't care if I was ruining Sylvie's socks because my heart was pounding and aching in my chest and my mind was shaken with sorrow. With the hurt of those awful things Tommy had said to me.

Why the fucks he with you eh? What other reason could he have for getting so close to you?

Tommys cruel words played over and over in my head and every time I remembered the vitriol with which he'd slung them across the room at me another choked sob wracked through my body. By the time I reached the meadow and the lake I was breathless and I could barely manage to carry myself to the waters edge before I crumbled and collapsed in the grass, holding myself, legs in a w on the ground like a little girl, arms wrapped around my body, holding my shoulders as I bowed my head and sobbed my heart out on the floor. The tears relentless, my crying disturbing the peace and quiet. So dramatic, my grief ricochetting off the trunks of near by trees and bouncing back to me like a mirror.

I didn't realise I was breaking more than my own heart. That someone was watching me and the sight of me like that, so distraught, was making them think they might start crying too. At least I didn't until they sat themsleves down beside me in the grass, reached out carefully for one of my hands and let their fingers brush delicately over my trembling fingers.

"Y'know lass if you keep this up you're gonna have me cryin an all," said Bonnie softly, his eyes soft but still aglow with that teasing humour, his smile small but still cheeky as he withdrew his hand from mine. The gesture had only been intended to get my attention but as he sat back up and pulled away from me his eyes lingered on my fingertips and then on my sorry expression.

"Tommy make you follow me?" I sniffled wiping at my eyes with the palm of my hands, trying to hide myself behind them so that he couldn't see the mess I'd made of myself. I wasn't a pretty crier, my eyes went red too quickly, swollen and sore looking, my whole expression puffy and childish when the waterworks turned on.

"Nah lass," he said with half a lass, looking up and away from me then with that lingering amused half smile on his open mouth.

"Thats not true," I said still sniffling, wincing at the pain of trying to swallow down a more violent sob. Every now and then one snook up on me like a hiccup sharp and sudden so that it stung my throat and left me feeling bruised. "Tommys got you spying on me or somethin now right... Youre not allowed let me out your sight or something I don't know..." I trailed off, cut off ultimately by another embarrassing sob. But Bonnie only frowned, he seemed to be thinking carefully about what he said, seemed much more pensive than he had when we had first met earlier that morning.

"Its true that he asked me to protect you.." he said smirking at me and rolling his eyes as if me and him were in on some joke I'd forgotten, his smile almost drawing one from me. "But it ain't true thats the reason I followed you out here..."

Perhaps if I hadn't been feeling so sorry for myself I'd have matched his smirk with one of my own. As it happened however I just kept sniffling and sobbing, trying to catch my breath and hold it together, completely unable to control my emotions and my tears.

"Then why did you?" I asked a little confused as to why he was sitting down in the grass opposite me, one knee bent, his arms crossed over it as he watched me in all my heartbroken tradgedy.

"Cause," he shrugged, "You're cryin your eyes out lass, didn't want you contaminating me lake with all that salt water... S'bad for the ecosystem see.." he said with another smirk, his eyes sparkling with that gentle teasing. His smile growing with his confidence when I couldn't help but smile at his little joke, biting back a sob which shook my spine, blushing through the smile I tried to hide.

"Hmm," he said stroking his chin as he pretended to study me, "thats a small improvement but I'm still worried about them tears yknow..." he said with a little chuckle when I bit back a giggle that mixed with my crying and left me uncertain as to why exactly I was shaking.

"Sorry," I said then, trying to force a wider smile, remembering who I was, remembering that Shelby girls didn't reveal themselves like this, didn't let strangers know them to be vulnerable the way I was doing just then.

"Don't say sorry to me lass, its the Cattails you should be worryin about," he said still grinning, still trying to encourage a smile from me too as he shifted where he sat and wrapped his arms around his knees. He was watching me. Even when we fell into silence, just me sniffling and wiping at my tears, him sitting still and quiet, he carried on so that I felt studied, my skin prickling under his gaze. Struggling to ignore him.

"Why'd they all call yous Fen?" he asked after a minute or two of not quite awkward silence.

"What?" I frowned uncertain as to why he was trying to make conversation with me, why he was asking a thing like that instead of asking me what was wrong or why I insisted on being such an unpleasant snob around him. He had no reason to smile at me or talk to me this way, I'd given him no reason at all to be nice.

"The both of yous like, ain't it weird to be called the same thing like that?"

"Well I don't know they just always have since we were little like... Well not always I guess," I said pressing the ball of my palms to my eye sockets trying to gather the last of my tears though I knew they weren't really going to be the last.

"Must be funny being twins an havin to share everythin right down to your own name..."

"We don't share everything," I lied knowing he was almost right, since we were young we'd always shared most things, our clothes getting confused in the wash, our bed when we were still poor and living on watery lane, our dream of becoming a ballet dancer, so many rolls throughout school because the director enjoyed being able to swap us in and out from scene to scene. Enjoyed not having to worry that the understudy would change the aesthetic of their vision.

"Don't do that to your eyes darlin," he said then, reaching forward to me, taking my wrist in his hand and tugging it gently from my eye. If I'd put up a fight, even just a small protest, I was sure he'd have let go and left me to it. But I didn't because I knew he was right. "Just makes em more swollen, you need some cold water on em, draw the red out... I mean don't get me wrong, you don't need to do anythin," he said speaking quieter then, his own cheeks a pale shade of pink as he averted his gaze, chewed his cheek, all the arrogance I thought I'd recognised in him, all those Blinder traits vanished when he suddenly receded and mumbled, "y'still look dead pretty either way..."

I didn't know what to say to him then, my own smile kind of shy, kind of awkward as a blush blossomed on my cheeks too. This time when I sniffled I was smiling through the tears and I felt a little less like I was sitting stranded in the Birmingham countryside completely on my own.

"Its cause we got lost in the fens when we were little girls," I said, "we were still travelling then... y'know before our mam died... Think John was meant to be lookin after us and he lost us,"

"In the Fens?" Bonnies eyes lit up, his smile tickling his features, making me smile too. He'd probably been down that way many times before with his own family, probably knew those grassy marshes, the endless expanse of flat dry ground in the summer, so suddenly rich and dense, swampy with the first fall of rain, all the little becks and drainage streams trailing off into the wash. As a little girl those fields of long grass, with all its little creatures, all those miles to explore, had been such an adventure. Bonnie probably had similar memories. For all that shit I'd thrown at Tommy he was right, me and Bonnie would have lived similar lives up to the point of my mothers suicide.

"I don't remember it," I said, "but me an Fen didn't know we were lost, we were having a lovely time playin in the marshes," I said letting out another little laugh which Bonnie echoed. He held his shins with his hands as he leant in to listen to me and I realised that we both must have looked like to children sitting there in the grass. "By the time they found us again we were soaked to the bone and freezin, covered in mud and bits of pond weed stuff, came down with a nasty fever a few days later, mam was livid, I think John got into a lot of trouble for it..."

He grinned, chuckling away, telling me he remembered getting into similar trouble when he was a wain.

"Don't really remember me mam, but I remember the trouble me sisters used to get for letting me off on me own when we were out to play," and then as if a distant memory, one he'd almost forgotten, had just washed over him like a wave he laughed, his grin lingering as he looked up at the sky and then into the distance somewhere over my shoulder. "There was this one time actually, we were travelling along down the east coast of scotland, they let me off on me own at the beach, you know one of those lovelyns where the forest comes right down to the tide line... They let me off on me ones and I built a raft, tied all these bits of drift wood and branches together with kite string and then tried sailing it... I was half way out to see before anyone realised what I'd done and me dad had to swim out to get me cause.." he trailed off, his own amusement overtaking him for a moment, his eyes really bright when he laughed, "cause I couldn't fuckin swim," he said sniggering into his sleeve, his laugh making me laugh too, just as shyly, hiding my smile in the crook of my elbow as I tried to hide away. It felt strange that he could have changed my demenour so quickly, i didnt like that I appeared so easily moved then.

"Think my mam would have killed our John if me an Sylvie had ever done something like that," I said with a lingering smile trying to imagine him as a little boy, sailing out to sea. Bonnie just chuckled, this fond little smile lingering on his lips when he shrugged his shoulders.

"Aye," he smirked, "think she probably did half kill our Esme for it," he said, "fuckin stupid kid though I was, bet yous two never did anythin that daft..." he was blushing again, only slight, his eyes taking on that dark, pensive shadow again when he met my gaze. I was blushing too, I didn't know what to say to him. But the longer we lingered in that comfortable quiet, those small smiles on our lips, the worse I felt for the hostility I'd shown him all day. Because it wasn't him I'd been wanting to hurt with all my vitriol and childish remarks. It had been my brother. Probably everyone knew that except Bonnie.

"You know you don't have to stay out here waitin on me," I said quietly, picking at pieces of grass, snapping the thin green stems, looking down at my feet, "I know Tommys got you followin me round like I need babysittin an all but I'm fine out here on my own..." I said awkwardly.

Still Bonnie just leant back in the grass on his elbows, legs stretched out in front of him as he relaxed, laidback grin, his eyes scanning the sky, one dark curl falling across his forehead. He really did look out of place then in his jeans and that bright blue adidas jacket, the polo tshirt he wore tucked into his waistband a little baggy, a little too 80s to be hanging round the grounds of a country estate with a forlorn ballerina in her white tights and her sisters slipper socks.

"Don't take this the wrong way darlin but, you're still cryin... Don't really seem fine on your own to me..."

"Didn't my big brother warn you, I'm always crying," I said sulkily, making him chuckle with my pouted lip and still teary eyes, my lashes lined with tears that were waiting to fall.

"That true?" he asked still smiling, still looking at me from under his lashes like he already knew me. Like he wanted to know me better.

I bit back a shy little smirk.

"Uhuh... I know," i rolled my eyes, a little melodramatic, "I'm a real cliche..." but Bonnie just smirked and shook his head.

"Well thats the saddest thing I ever heard," he said with a small shrug, his eyes flickering over me again, meeting mine and holding my gaze until I couldn't hold his anymore, averting my eyes to my hands, wiping another tear on the back of my hands.

"Its not that sad," I said with a self concious shrug, receding into myself and away from him. I couldn't tell if he was flirting with me or not. It didn't feel like I was being charmed, didn't feel like he was using well practiced moves and lines to chip away at me. He wasn't exactly like any of the lads I was used to, the actors I'd gone to school with. Those competitive boys with famous surnames, old money parents who'd taught them exactly what to say and to who and when.

Everything Bonnie had said and done so far that morning had seemed so natural, a little clumsy a little shy, but natural. I didn't feel like he was acting, didn't feel like I needed to put on an act for him.

And yet I knew that this was exactly what made me the weak link in the family, the least Shelby of us all. It had hurt to hear Tommy say it outloud, for him to call me naive in front of Sylvie, within earshot of Bonnie and Isaiah, but it had hurt because it was true. Bonnie was proving that to me now because all he'd done was follow me outside, show me a little smile when I was crying, and there I was opening slowly like a shy flower in the evening sun. A little slither of dusk and I was looking at him with my most honest eyes.

"Its not sad," I said it again, sucking my cheek in and then cracking a self aware half smile, "If you cry over nothing and everything all the time no one can ever really tell when you're genuinely upset, maybe I'm just leaning into drama..."

"Yeah? What about now, are you leanin into drama or is this just now, genuine?"

I bit my lip, a little caught out because I'd been expecting my words to wash water off a ducks back the way that kind of talk usually did. Usually people rolled their eyes, called me aloof behind my back, told me I was 'mysterious' to my face. But Bonnie, despite his teasing smile, seemed to want a real answer. So I gave him one.

"I'm fine Bonnie Gold," I said my eyes meeting his, his name foreign on my tongue as my lips curved around the syllables for the first time, "Its just my brother see, I don't know if you know this about him but..." I trailed off, forcing a smile, one which probably looked far more sorry than it was supposed to when tears still gleamed in my eyes, "but he's a little bit of a cunt..."

He laughed then, a real laugh. I'd shocked him with my harsh words and he was, for a second, speechless.

His grin lingered as he looked away and when he looked back at me he was still laughing so that the longer it went on, his beaming smile poking dimples in his rosy cheeks, the more self concious I became, feeling my own cheeks heat up. An awkward smile on my lips.

"What?"

"Nothing, its nothing," he chuckled settling down though the grin still lingered and when he looked me up and down I got the feeling he was still trying to work me out. "Just don't sound right thats all, you sayin a word like that with your pretty little accent..."

My smile grew, awkward and shy. His green eyes still watched me but I couldn't bring myself to hold his gaze for very long.

"I don't have a pretty little accent," I frowned, "are you callin me a fuckin toff?" I narrowed my eyes at him, suddenly so aware of my annunciation. Cheeks burning, temper prickling though I couldn't wipe the smile off my face.

"Nah," he chuckled, "certainly don't sound like your brothers though do you lass..." he said giggling somewhat pleased with himself when my frown etched deeper into my brow and he realised that his teasing was really winding me up. "See if you don't wanna be around that cunt of a brother today..." he started, running his hand through his messy curls, turning away from me to look out at the grounds, "you could come to my place yknow, lay low stay out the way whilst they uh... Hash it all out?"

I chewed my cheek, looking at him a little uncertain. Tommy trusted him so I could trust him. And he was right, I didn't want to see my cunt of a brother again, not just for the rest of the day but for the rest of the week if at all possible.

"And why would you want to invite someone like me back to your place?" I asked still picking at grass stems, remebering again all those disparaging things I'd said about travellers to Tommy in front of Bonnie.

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Well what about all that shit I said earlier for a start..." i chewed my cheek looking guilty.

"Ohhh" he breathed pursing his lips together holding back his smile for a moment, "right yeah that... For a start lass you're pretty transparent and I know you didn't really mean any of em..." he said tilting his head looking at me from under dark lashes, his eyes dark and marbled and still so understanding, and then he smirked and shrugged his shoulders, "and for seconds, this just gives you more time to say you're sorry."

And with that he jumped up and held his hand out to help me, the wink he shot me leaving me speechless and burning with a blush.

#Trouble #peaky blinders imagines #Bonnie gold #Tommy shelby sister!#tommy shelby modern au #peaky blinders modern au #peaky blinders fanfiction #peaky blinders imagine #Alfie Solomons modern au #peaky blinders x sister!reader #peaky blinders x oc

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