#do u think he ever just looks in the mirror and remembers what it felt like to be called sunshine
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impulse '95 is a really good comic run bc the homies r just out here having mommy issues
#its good for other reasons too and all#but the way the series portrays complex familial relationships strikes something within me fr#thinking abt preston recognizing the generational cycle of abuse w his mom and just being relieved that nothing was his fault#there are a million things i could say abt cissie and her mom in these tags rn#but her being told 'you look like you know how it feels to have someone put you down all the time' in her first appearance sticks w me#bart who looks just like his mom but barely gets to spend time with her or know much about her#do u think he ever just looks in the mirror and remembers what it felt like to be called sunshine#bart allen#impulse#dc comics#cissie king jones#preston lindsay#impulse 1995#meloni thawne
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I do, I do, I do | Spencer Reid x Reader
In which spencer proposes to you.
Absolutely tooth rotting fluff
Contents: Head over heels spence, pet names (honey, angel, darling...)
Warning: none!
a/n: title is a reference to "helpless" from Hamilton & there's a scene inspired by "the tortured poets department" (can u tell I love music?). This is my favorite fic I have ever written.
---
You and Spencer have been dating for 5 years now and, since last year, the team had begun asking the two of you - especially Reid - when were you guys going to “tie the knot”. You and Spencer had talked about it, both agreeing that you both did want to get married, but we’re not in a rush.
Now, you’re at Spencer's house getting ready for one of Rossi's famous dinners. When you look through the mirror, you see Spencer leaning against the door, watching you getting ready while he cuffs the sleeves of his black button-up shirt.
“You’re looking divine angel”
“Thank you honey” You say, turning to him “By the way, this is your last chance to kiss me, unless you also want to wear some red lipstick to Rossi’s”
He giggles, giving you a quick peck on the lips before leaving the bathroom to let you finish getting ready.
Later that night, you, Spencer and the rest of the team are all sitting at the dining table, talking and laughing. This is one of those few, but extremely special moments in which you guys forget all the horrors that happen at work and just are happy together.
You’re in an extremely exciting talk with Garcia about the latest fashion news, a topic that both of you really loved when you feel Spencer playing with your hands, something he usually did, so you did not pay much attention to it. But, at a point you felt him place the small ring he sometimes wore on your finger, specifically your left ring finger, the one you put wedding rings on. When you looked down at it, your heart almost stopped.
He leaned closer to whisper in your ear “It looks perfect on you” and then took it off, continuing to talk to Morgan about… Something. If you were to be honest, after that, you spaced out for a couple seconds, your heartbeat seemed so loud that it replaced all the other sounds around you.
—
2 months later, you’re remembering this moment as you get ready for a very suspicious dinner date with Spencer. Since what happened on Rossi's get together, you knew he was thinking about it and started your detective work to try and figure out when it might happen.
You had asked - no, begged Morgan and Penelope for any kind of clue. It's not that you wanted to know exactly when and where, you just needed a clue to know how to prepare yourself. After a while, you just gave up and decided to let it happen.
You became suspicious when Spencer asked Hotch for you both to have a day off, something you both rarely requested. He also bought you a Vivienne Westwood dress you had been eying for years now.
“Spencer Reid, you did not. Oh my god you're crazy” You said as you opened the box
“Did you like it?”
“Are you kidding? I love it, thank you so much” You say, leaning in to embrace him in a tight hug
“Maybe I can take you to dinner this Saturday, and you can wear it” He says between giggles because of how wide your smile was, oh how he loved pampering you.
“Sounds perfect honey”
Now, finally the day you had been so excited for. Could Spencer just have felt like giving you the dress? Yes, but for some reason you felt there was more to it. Maybe the way he spent the whole day trying to hide how nervous he is, the way he’s letting you take your sweet time getting ready, saying things like “don’t rush honey” or the mysterious call he received from Morgan earlier that day but you were sure something was going to happen.
You finish getting ready and get into the car with him, he’s showering you with compliments the whole way. When he stops the car something is off, this is not a restaurant, in the dark you can’t really make out where you are but it seems familiar.
He gets out of the car, going around and opening the door for you, helping you get out. He walks you to the entrance of the place and opens the door that you now have recognized to be the library you two loved and also the place we’re he finally asked you out on a date after years of secretly-not-so-secretly being in love with you. Only now, there was a small round table there, with lit candles and a table set for two.
The shock made you not realize that Spencer had now let go of your hand, as you look to your side, you're met with your boyfriend down on one knee and a small velvet box in his hand.
“Honey, I have loved you since I first laid eyes on you. You’ve been my best friend, the best thing that ever happened to me, you make all the crazy stuff we go through easier, because we’re goin through it together. There’s no one I would rather live life with than you, so will you marry me?”
“Spencer..” That’s the only thing you manage to say, shocked and feeling a kind of happiness you never experienced before. “Of course I will. Oh my god I love you so much” You say, pulling on his arm so he stands up and you kiss him deeply. Feeling an amount of love you never thought was possible.
Once you pull away, he places the delicate ring on your hand and kisses you again. And all you can think is how you can’t wait to spend the rest of your life with him.
#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x bestfriend!reader#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x y/n#criminal minds#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid blurb#spencer reid x oc#spencer reid self insert#spencer reid fandom#criminal minds blurb#spencer reid drabble#spencer reid x reader fluff
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WORD COUNT — 2.3K
WARNINGS — have you ever tried this one? fingering, pet name usage, sub!jake, hand jobs, cum eating, sex toys (let me know if i missed anything)
NOTES — hii guys thank u for the support on just for now, i will be splitting juno up into 2 parts so stay tuned for the next part! at the end of the fic i did include the pics of the lingerie that u can imagine wearing hehe~
jake was the sweetest man alive. always bringing you flowers, buying you food, being the shoulder you cry on, yes everything about him was so so sweet. even in bed he was so gentle and sweet, you didn’t hate it by any means but you were starting to get bored.
“jakey… can we talk for a sec?” the hesitation in your voice is unmistakable—how on earth are you supposed to tell your sweet, caring boyfriend that you want to go at it like rabbits?
“yea, pretty. what’s up?” he says enthusiastically. somehow that’s making it harder for you.
both of you are on the couch, your legs pulled up to your chest while he sits normally, his hand resting on your knee. as you call out to him once more, the touch makes it even harder for you to find the words.
“in the most normal way possible… do you have anything you’re into? like… i don’t know�� any kinks?” you try saying this sweetly. his eyes widen and a soft chuckle escapes his lips.
“mm… i dunno really…” he trails off into thought and to be honest now that he thinks of it he does wanna try some things out.
“i wouldn’t consider them kinks but probably more of like… things i would be down to try?” he says before laughing again softly. his hand on ur knee trailing down to squeeze your thigh.
“let’s hear it!” you say laughing shortly after. his hand on your thigh ignites a fire beneath your skin. ‘this is gonna be a long night’* you think, before offering him a reassuring smile.
“maybe you on top?” he suggests, biting his bottom lip with a smug grin spreading across his face. “want you to be a little rough with me too… tug on my hair, yank me around here and there.” he squeezes your thigh a bit tighter. your glossy eyes meet his, you nod your head softly, encouraging him to continue.
“make me feel good, but also use me, princess.” he whispered before scooting closer to you, his hand now in your inner thigh.
“use you…?” you whisper back. your breath was caught in your chest.
“mhm… do whatever you need to get yourself off, worry about me after.” his voice barely above a whisper. you look at him and smile before putting your legs back down, your feet hitting the floor.
you thought about what jake had said and ever since then you hate to admit it but you were so so needy and per usual, you texted jake.
you: jakeyyy
jake: yes baby?
you: can you come over? pretty pleaseeee
jake: give me like an hour
is that okay?
‘more than okay…’ you thought to yourself. it felt like a lightbulb went off in your head.
you: yea that’s perf muah see u then
jake: see you my love
you hop in the shower and somehow manage to shave everything. once you’re out, you head to your closet, searching for something to wear. yes you wanted to sleep with him, but you definitely didn’t need him struggling to pull down a pair of blue jeans to make it happen.
you sift through all your clothes until you remember—the baby pink lace lingerie you bought a few days ago, still sitting in its packaging. squatting down, you search through the shoe boxes, hoping to find it, and finally, you do.
you unpackaged it and smile to yourself before putting it on. glancing in the mirror your smile widens. you continue getting ready, doing your usual makeup routine and fluffing out your hair.
after what feels like forever, an hour passes, and you finally hear a knock at the door. you quickly put a robe on and walk over to the front door of your apartment.
“jakey!” you say softly before wrapping your around around his shoulders.
“someone’s in a good mood,” he teases, giving you a gentle squeeze in the hug. of course you were in a good mood. you pepper soft kisses all over his face as he closes the door behind him.
he lets out the cutest giggle you’ve ever heard come out of him.
“just missed you…” you say sweetly before dragging him to the couch with you. the quiet background noise of the tv playing a random channel plays as you focus on jake.
“so what’d you wanna do hm?” he says softly as he wraps his arm around you, pulling you close to his chest. his other hand running slowly up and down your thigh.
“anything… everything…” you mutter before looking up to him sweetly. you shift, draping your legs over his thighs, so close to settling onto his lap.
the bottom of the robe rides up, bunching up on the top of your thighs, of course this doesn’t go unnoticed by your sweet boyfriend who’s trying so hard to not look.
“mm… wanna watch a movie?” he murmurs softly, his breath catching as you move your free hand to untie your robe, letting it fall open without fully taking it off just yet.
“we can… or we can do something else…” you whisper against the shell of his ear, sending shivers down his back.
unbeknownst to both of you, the tv starts cycling through various pop star performances. this hour’s feature is sabrina carpenter, her playful voice and melodies perfectly complementing the atmosphere.
jake runs his slender fingers through your fluffed out hair. “yeah?” he whispers, his eyes locked on your glossy gaze. with one swift move, he pulls you onto his lap, you let out a tiny yelp causing the both of you to laugh softly. he thumbs at your outer thigh gently.
“what do you wanna do, pretty girl…?” he whispers before grazing your neck with his lips. he starts kissing so softly the way he always does. a soft huff escapes your lips before you speak again.
“wanna make you feel good…” your voice barely above a whisper. “wanna have fun with you.” you let out a louder moan as he starts sucking on the skin of your neck. his free hand moves to your shoulders, gently sliding the robe off.
you let him remove the article of clothing, it soon falling to the arm of the couch behind you.
“oh…” he gasps lightly as he looks down at you. the pink lace top lingerie covering just above your soft buds. “you look so pretty… not that you don’t always do just-“
you cut him off, kiss harsh and demanding. an unusual feel to what you both usually do with each other. his eyes flutter open at the sensation before he cups your cheek, deepening the kiss. his eyes slowly start closing again. he lets out a soft hum as you bite his bottom lip.
you pull away and peck his lips before shifting over to straddle him.
“better…” you whisper before wrapping your arms around his shoulders and dipping back down to kiss him again. his hands running up and down your sides gently.
“do you like it…?” you mumble against his lips.
“what? the surprise of you in this skimpy little outfit?” his tone playful. you smile against his lips before kissing him again. he takes this opportunity to rub your hips gently, this sparks an idea in your head too.
you start shifting your hips back and forth gently, a quiet groan tries to release from his lips but they were muffled by your sweet kisses. his grip on your hips tightens before he starts moving you himself, grinding you harder against his aching core.
“bed…” he mumbles against your lips before swiftly lifting the both of you up from the couch. he lays you down on the bed gently before putting his hands back on you.
“so pretty… my perfect girl…” he says in between kisses. you clench around nothing. “s’tied on the sides? how cute…” he starts toying with the ribbons on the side of the lace panties before undoing the knots on one side.
“i wanna try what we talked about.” your words come out in soft pants.
“only if you’re comfortable, angel…” here he goes being the sweetest person alive.
“but i want you to be rough with me too.” you pant once again.
“are you sure?” he gazes up at you. fluffy strands of hair framing his face as he dips down to get closer a better look of you. you nod quickly.
“i also have… toys, we can use.” you hesitantly say. his ears perk up. he nods slowly, taking in what you just said. you tug him back down by his neck, eager for more kisses, and fuck, he can feel you everywhere—your lips on his, your hands digging into his chest, clawing at his shirt, your legs pressing against his. a sweet whimper was all he could let out when you pull away from the kiss.
he pulls you closer by the waist, squeezing the skin that laid on your bones so perfectly, he thought to himself. he leans his body down to suck on your neck, his tongue licking stripes up and down the skin earning a soft moan from you.
“more jae…” jae. it’s what you seemed to only call him during times like this or when you’re sobbing after a long day and he’s there to hold you.
“i’ve got you, baby doll.” and that’s what he calls you.
the soft music from the living room tv drifts into your room as the tension rises. what a coincidence—your favorite sabrina carpenter song, juno, is playing.
he continues his kisses down your neck before untying the other side of the lace panties, his kisses get harsher and hotter. his tongue licking softly at your bottom lip. you instinctively open your lips just enough for him to slip his tongue in, all he could think of was inhaling you. your scent, your taste, the feel of you. he needed it all so deep inside of him. he takes the hand he used to undo the knot and slips the lace covering your bare core to the side before rubbing your clit in soft circles.
you moan into the kiss before trailing your hands up to his nape, tugging on the soft strands just like he told you too. he moans, but not like the moans you’re usually used to. he sounded so spent and needy and all you’ve done was kiss.
he starts rubbing your sensitive bud faster before dipping his fingers down to your soaking hole just to play with your arousal, smearing it back up to your clit.
“baby…” he babbles as you keep tugging on the strands, his fingers working faster against you. you buck your hips up seeking more friction, it just wasn’t enough. he chuckles softly against your lips before biting down on your bottom lip.
“just like that jae— mmh…” you moan out.
“you feel so soft… so perfect…” he murmurs into your lips, craving the warmth, the sounds, the touch—desperate to be consumed by it all.
“check- nngh jae- check the box under my bed…” you manage to whisper out. a soft gasp leaves your lips when he stops his motions.
he dips down next to the bed and reaches for the box, sliding the pink plastic box towards him then up onto the bed.
you smile hazily at him. “open it…” so he does.
dildos, vibrators, a cock ring, and… fuzzy pink handcuffs?
“ooo…” jake playfully says, earning a soft giggle from you. he takes the hand cuffs out and dangles them in front of your face. “so who goes first?”
“you’re asking as if you aren’t dying to go first…” you roll your eyes playfully before sitting up on your elbows to get a better view of him.
“you caught me!” he jokes as he puts his hands up in surrender, a stupid smile on both your faces.
‘this feels so fun…’ you thought to yourself before immediately gasping when his lips meet your collarbones. he nips and nips, your eyes flutter shut at the feeling. never has he ever even thought about leaving hickeys on you, god he always treated you like a porcelain doll during your intimate moments.
he sucks, and nips, and licks, all causing you to grip onto his biceps. he pulls back and looking at the small bruises forming. “pretty.”
you smile softly before sitting upright and taking the cuffs from his hands. you slowly guide him down the bed so he’s laying next to you before you kiss his lips again, the taste of mint and was that mango?* lingering on his tongue.
“off. everything.” you mutter, he wastes no time in removing everything but his boxers. “these too.” you say softly. he nods rapidly before taking his boxers off leaving him completely bare in front of you. you look down at his half hard cock and grin. “lay back.” and again he follows, without hesitation.
you loop the hand cuffs around your bed frame, the clanks of the metals clashing arousing jake up even more, his cock twitching.
“arms up.” you speak firmly, deliberately avoiding eye contact with him. he glances up at you with those endearing eyes, knowing full well that you can't resist him when he looks at you that way. you finally lock the hand cuffs and smile sweetly at him. “just hold still jakey…”
it didn’t take long for you to have jake trembling under you. your hand stroking his aching cock as your lips left marks all over his abs.
“s’too much y/n please-“ a strangled moan leaves his mouth, only motivating you more. you wrap your lips around his red tip, leaking precum and twitching while his veins protrude. it almost looked painful. you chuckle softly around his head, earning a loud groan from him.
“think you can keep being a good boy for me…?” you tease before kissing down his shaft. he pathetically nods his head.
“anything for you please i’ll do anything…” he breathes out, his voice cracking in the process. you release his length and move to the side of the bed, leaning over to get something from your nightstand.
“just relax for me jakey… just wanna make you feel good…” you say reassuringly before lubing up your fingers. “deep breaths baby…”
the sweet whimper that leaves his lips at the feel of you in his walls has you shaking. “y/n holy fuck-“
you start pumping your middle finger in and out of him in a more steady pace before using your other hand to stroke his leaking cock again. he squirms and whimpers beneath you, you gaze up to look at his face— it was enough to have you dripping in your own arousal.
you tighten your fist on his dick and start picking up the pace of both hands. he’s shaking and almost yelling at this point. the hand cuffs creating red marks around his delicate wrists.
“you wanted this jakey didn’t you… you wanted me to play with you and be rough right?” you speak in a gentle tone, a harsh contrast to your actions as you add another finger. he can’t form a response, the words lodged in his throat, refusing to come out.
“s’good…” he babbled. “gonna cum… please i’m so close y/n…” and then he breaks, strings of his release landing on his flexed abs and your soft hand.
you gently remove your fingers from inside him and look up at him before licking up his release that dripped down the side of his waist.
yea this was gonna be a long night.
#enhypen#enhypen jake#jake x reader#sim jaeyun#jake smut#enhypen smut#enha smut#sim jaeyun smut#enhypen jay#kim sunoo#kpop#ni ki#enhypen ni ki#enhypen sunoo#enhypen x reader#heeseung#yang jungwon#park sunghoon#enhypen fic#enha fics#enha x reader#enha scenarios#enha imagines#enha smau
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As a lil ellie request, would u mind writing smth about reader being mad at ellie bc she was a little reckless on patrol and got hurt, so she dosnt let ellie touch her while she rides her? <33
this is my first request and i absolutely love it so how could i say no 🤭
ELLIE WILLIAMS X READER
mdni please<3
summary: ellie was reckless during her usual patrol so you decided to give her a lesson
warnings: 18+!! smut, strap (r!receiving), wound, mean!reader, begging
writers note: i actually love this idea sm?? also dear anon sorry if its not something you expected but its just how i imagine that:3
You were waiting for your girlfriend to come back from patrol, just like every day. Except today she took her fucking time.
The sun has already set, so instead of waiting in the couch, as usual, you decided to go to your bedroom. You knew you won't fall asleep, not until she comes back. You needed to see she's safe if you want to sleep peacefully.
The door's opened.
You heard her entering the living room, surprised you're not there.
"Babe?" She frowned.
You quickly ran up to her. You were already mad she came home so late but after seeing her you were truly pissed of.
Her jeans were rolled up, exposing her leg covered in messy-bloody bandages.
"What the fuck happened?" You almost yelled, kneeling in front of her and unwrapping it.
"I might get bit." She said with a shrug, like it's a normal thing. "They almost killed Jesse, so I covered him. Ya know, he's not the immune one."
You went to the bathroom to get fresh bandages and alcohol to clean the wound. The bit was small, it (whatever 'it' was) probably barely touched her. You quickly started patching her up.
"So what, just because you're immune makes you think you can risk your life?" You chuckled mockingly.
Her leg stung from the alcohol and it took all of her efforts to not groan out in pain.
It was almost more frustrating that she was so nonchalant about it. Like, you knew she didn't care about herself, she rarely ever did, but her putting herself in harm's way because she's the immune-whatever was just annoying. You wanted to yell at her and drag her into the house and never let her out again, but you also didn't want to sound like a controlling jerk.
"Aww, are you worried about me?" Ellie smirked. You rolled your eyes at her response to your concern. She always liked to push your buttons, and this was only one of times she does it.
You finished cleaning and patching up the small bite on her leg, and the wound looked almost healed. You went back to the bathroom to to throw away the used bandages.
You leaned over the sink, splashing some water in your face and gathering your thoughts.
Maybe you overreacted?
Suddenly, when you looked at the mirror, you saw Ellie standing behind you with her hands wrapped around your waist. Her breath tickled the side of your face as she pressed herself against you.
You felt the bulge in her pants and your eyes widened. There's no way she was wearing it at the patrol, but then again, when did she manage to put it on?
"I can make it up to you." She whispered.
You couldn't completely give in. She deserved a lesson and you doing whatever she wants would have the opposite effect. Still, you couldn't resist her now, could you?
Before you could push her away, she kissed you. Her lips were so possessive, like she's intentionally making you as breathless as possible, so you won't manage to speak - you won't manage to say no. The truth is, you didn't want to say no. Not to her.
She was slowly pushing you towards your bedroom, which was (luckily) opposite the bathroom.
She pulled away to let you catch your breath only when you were sitting on her lap, not able to move because of her strong grip.
After she unbuckled her belt, she lied down as you sat on top of her. She gave you one of those 'you know what to do' looks.
And that was the moment your bratty attitude came back, as you remembered how reckless your girlfriend really is. Of course you craved her strap, but you wanted to somehow make her regret her stupid antics, so you decided to take it your way.
She was the type of person that needed to touch you. Going on a walk? - Her hand is either on your waist, back pocket of your jeans or tangled with yours. And while you're fucking she had to hold you. Even though just the sight of you is enough to make her go insane, she could never keep her hands away from you.
This time wasn't an exception but you wanted it to be.
You spared yourself all the little games and you started riding her instantly. Gripping her hips for balance, rolling your eyes back and moaning her name.
For her, you looked like the most precious thing in the world right at this moment. She just loved seeing you fuck yourself dumb on her cock.
Her hands started desperatly touching your body, as if to make sure this isn't a hallucination. But you quickly pulled them away.
She had no idea what your point was, she narrowed her eyes and frowned. Suddenly she smirked as she remembered your previous 'argument'.
"Don't tell me you're still mad." She chuckled breathlessly.
Usually you'd try to be as quiet as possible, embarrased by how Ellie can make you feel. This day you were anything but quiet, hoping to make her mad.
"I may be." You moaned out.
She closed her eyes, loudly exhaling, as she seemed to think about something.
She tried touching you a few more times, not successfully. You were holding back a laugh at her confusion.
"Don't be like that, I know you love my touch. Just let me... It would be a win-win situation." She tilted her head, staring at you taking the whole strap without her help. At this point, what you did was cruel.
"Are you seriously so mad at me for this little bite that you're going to make me just helplessly watch?" She continued, her each word sounded more and more exaggerated.
"What, can't stand it?" You said mockingly, continuing to whimper.
"Of course I can't fucking stand it!" She covered her face with her hands as looking at you made it worse and she wasn't able to just look away. Her hips were thrusting, just a little, as she hoped you won't notice.
You couldn't hold back your laugh any longer. She was really losing her mind, or at least pretending to. You couldn't tell. But it sure was funny to watch her squirm.
Your smirk grew with each response, knowing her patience was wearing thin and she would soon be begging for you. She was clearly pissed at the situation, but she wanted to play it cool at first. However, that facade melted with your each mocking response.
"Just let me touch you." She whispered, her voice becoming more needy and frustrated. "I need this."
"You know what I need?" You grinned in between your groans. "An responsible girlfriend who doesn't think her immunity is an excuse for... everything."
She scoffed, but she didn't care about the answer. She just needed you. The frustration was building up to the point where she wouldn't be able to take it soon. Her hands started pulling at your shirt as if she wanted to discretely show you she wants it off of you. She had gone mad, and you loved every moment of it.
"Please, I can't take it anymore." She moaned, her voice breaking every word with a new breath.
"There she is, starting to beg." You laughed as you pushed her hands away again, gentler this time.
Of course you didn't feel as good as you did when Ellie was helping you - there's just something about the way she guides your hips on top of her. But you had to keep your cool this time.
Her hands kept reaching for you, but you kept pulling them away. She was frustrated, and her voice was getting angrier.
"Stop playing hard to get."
It was clear she had almost reached her limit. She didn't care about anything anymore, she just wanted you.
You whimpered and teased her some more, which drove her completely mad. She was at her limit and couldn't handle it any longer.
"Please... please... please." She begged desperately, pulling at your shirt. "I'm going crazy, I need you..."
The sound of her voice broke you. You couldn't help but stop and start giggling to yourself, amused by the desperation in her tone.
But you didn't dare push the game any longer.
#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams x y/n#ellie williams x you#ellie x reader#ellie x y/n#ellie williams#ellie tlou#ellie the last of us#ellie williams smut#ellie smut#wlw smut#smut#strappon#anon#nonnie asks#thank you nonnie#send anons#reqs open#request
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to build a home | chapter thirteen
Pairing: Jungkook x reader. ceo!jk + dilf!jk x nanny!oc
Genre: strangers to lovers. angst. fluff. smut.
Word count: 9k
Warnings: angst. angst. angst. i’m so sorry. jealousy. self doubt. ira talks im sorry!!! but i felt like it was important. oblivious kookie :/ confused oc!! sad oc :( soori’s teething and it breaks my heart. oral (f receiving) 😈
Author’s note: hi besties!! another tbah sunday! i love being back soo much. this is an odd chapter, i feel. i sort of lost track of time and how much of it i actually had to finish so it’s a bit of a shorter one. it’s missing the final part, sort of. and it was making me anxious! because i wanted to post today. and then i remembered i make the rules so… chapter fourteen is coming no longer than wednesday!! it’s outlined and it’ll be what was missing in this chapter. we’re back to tbah sundays after that tho :) i love u guys so much. do let me know what u think of this chappie, i love book clubbing with yall!! xoxo
This is a work of fiction. Please respect the members and their privacy. x
Chapter Thirteen
When you get home that night, you smell like him. It alters your senses, your body nothing but a phantom touch of where he’d been. You look at yourself in the mirror and laugh at how obvious his mark is. He doesn’t just show on your smudged mascara or your messy hair, no. He’s all over your eyes. You can’t tell if the glint in them is from the remnants of the pleasure he made you feel or from the tears that threaten to fall. And perhaps that’s just what you need. To cry. Not with feminine rage music playing in the background, or in a burst of anger, but just to cry. To let yourself feel whatever it is your heart needs to. You can feel it, the way it screams at you and begs you to just let it be.
So you let it. You shower, letting your tears get lost in the water that falls down your body. You cry when you let yourself release the feeling and you cry when you wash him off your body, his smell going down the drain alongside your anger. Now you’re just sad.
You cry your skincare off and give up on it tonight. You brush your hair until you can’t stare at yourself in the mirror anymore, because it just makes you cry more. For some reason the reflection that stares back at you convinces you that this is why he doesn’t love you. You look like a little child, hopeless and helpless. Eyes puffy, bared faced, in your old pajamas with the faded print that once said, born to be cute. You’ve had them since you were fifteen and all of a sudden, your nostalgic attachment feels dumb. You feel dumb. And pathetic. And sad. Your brain is cruel, letting you know exactly what it thinks. How could he want to be with someone like this? Like you? It’s almost ironic how your words of hatred all originate from words of love. From the words of love he didn’t reciprocate.
You think of Ira, because the streak of cruelty couldn’t just end there. You think of her beauty, of her face. You wonder if she ever felt like this about herself. If she ever stared at the mirror and didn’t feel like the reflection staring back at her was enough. You don’t want to be unfair towards her, but you doubt it. You doubt someone like her could ever walk into a room with uncertain steps and words that faltered. All you can see when you look at her is confidence and beauty. Her and Jungkook made sense together. It almost felt like a perfect trick from the universe – a power move.
You get under your covers, exhausted and with the hints of a headache that threatens to settle aggressively if you kept the tears running. You hug the teddy bear you’d grown emotionally attached to when you were six. It makes you feel pathetic yet again, but it also brings comfort and so you pull it closer to you. You wonder if you’ll ever fully grow up. The heart ache turns into something bigger, something downright existential and it won’t stop. Even if you tell yourself that it’s irrational, that things just look bad right now but won’t be like this forever. The self doubt roots inside of you, growing branches that grow through your body. Will you ever become something out of who you are right now? Will you write a book, buy a house, travel the world, start a family? The last one breaks you with a nature that’s so acute it brings back the tears.
You grab your phone, an intense desire to type Ira Sommersmith into the search bar. You find it kind of funny – to be comparing yourself to someone that you can literally google. When did you ever stand a chance with him, really? When did it ever make sense that he’d choose you? When did it occur to you that you were enough?
Ira was from a small town in Europe you couldn’t pronounce. When she was younger she spent most of her time riding horses, they were her biggest passion. She even says it in an interview after they ask her what she thinks she’d be doing if she wasn’t a model, pondering on it for a second before replying, “I’d be in a farm, riding horses all day.” And even though her hair is perfectly styled and she’s wearing very pointy stilettos, you believe her. Her dreams sound completely valid to you because amidst her sharp features, she has a soft face.
Another article tells you she’d been scouted when she was sixteen. She’d been on holiday in London with her parents – she was an only child – and she’d gotten stopped in the street. In another interview where she talks about this, she laughs timidly when they ask her, her gaze down when she says, “they told me I was beautiful in the way things in important places where. Like magazines and billboards,” she softens the flattery by saying, “if you consider those things to be important, of course.” And it’s during that interview that you realize you can’t hate her. Not because you don’t want to, but because she makes it really hard to.
She’d been on her own ever since – traveling the world, walking the most important catwalks in the most important cities, grazing the covers of every magazine and billboards, she’d even made a couple of movie appearances. You wonder how you could’ve missed her. She seemed to be everywhere. She sits on a makeup chair, two people behind her doing her hair at the same time, while someone else works on her face. She talks about having had a 4 am call time, sleeping very little the night before, being jet lagged and hungry. But she laughs as she says this. You almost laugh, too. The camera man asks her how she keeps up with the hecticness and she doesn’t sit on her words for even a second before she says, “I have a really great support system. My family, my friends. Also, I always keep a snack on me.” The video shows pictures of her, in different settings, with said family and friends. You actually recognize some of the faces – actresses, models, influencers. You pause the video in the middle of a particular frame when you see a face you recognize better than the others. It’s Kenny. It’s probably the picture that dates back the furthest, they both look so young. You type their names into another Google search and their friendship is revealed to you in an almost too perfect of a timeline. They’d been friends since they were eighteen after meeting backstage at a Chanel show. Your eyes widen. A Chanel show. Holy fuck. Who were you acquainted with? Kenny almost looks like a different person behind the camera, her eyes fierce and face cold.
You scroll and scroll until something catches your eye. It’s a paparazzi picture, taken in a big city you don’t recognize. Hobi has his arm around Kenny and Ira and Jungkook hold hands and look into each other’s eyes as they strut down a sidewalk. It looks straight out of a catalog, or something. They’re perfect. Then it’s his name alongside hers that you’re typing into the search bar. You’re surprised to find that their relationship had been quite private, not a lot of information about it on the web besides the basics. Forbes talks about Ira being a model, Vogue talks about Jungkook being the heir to The West End Collection. The anonymity their relationship holds brings some sort of frenzy, though, as you read a couple of tweets and posts that idolize their relationship. Strangers wishing them the best, looking up to them, wishing they could have a boyfriend just like him. Another perfect paparazzi shoot of them at the beach, Jungkook picking Ira up from behind, mid-spin. She’s radiant as she laughs, body clad in a white bikini thar reveals her perfect body. There’s over 300 comments under the picture. Someone says, “if my girl looked like that I’d be in a good mood for the rest of my life.”
And you get it. You get it because she’s beautiful, and talented and easygoing. She’s confident but humble and when she speaks, you can see the way she thinks about the words before they leave her, making her sound so very eloquent. She’s gentle and dainty and her voice is soft. The more you scroll, the more you form these thoughts inside your head and then you find the perfect word to describe her: gracious. Elegant is a close second.
Your eyes feel heavy and it’s nearly two a.m.. Your phone screen illuminates your face as another video plays. She’s being asked 73 questions.
“What’s something you can’t live without?”
“My boyfriend.”
“So, you’re in love.”
She nods, a blush creeping up her cheeks.
“He’s the love of my life.”
~
Your body aches with exhaustion, courtesy of your late night perusing. Your gaze gets lost on the fruit you’re cutting at a lethargic pace and you don’t even react when you lose grip on the knife and it comes dangerously close to cutting through your skin.
Mrs. Chae walks over to you, but you don’t notice her proximity until she’s placing a coffee cup in front of you, her movements gentle, like she understands. When you look up at her and smile, she smiles back, briefly caressing your arm before she’s back to busying herself with her morning responsibilities. Her kindness makes you want to cry.
You hear Soori’s cries long before she enters your line of vision, and when she finally does, she’s pouting and squinting her eyes before letting out another long wail.
“Oh, my sweet baby,” you walk over to them, running your hands down her cheeks, wiping her tears away. She turns around, nuzzling her face between Jungkook’s neck.
“She’s been in pain since she woke up. I gave her a bottle and some Tylenol but nothing helps.” Jungkook rocks her from side to side, hand coming to cup her little head to try and comfort her, but her cries only get louder.
“It’s okay, the medicine will kick in soon and I’ll keep her as comfortable as I possibly can,” you reassure him, but he still looks miserable, guilt settling in the closer he gets to having to leave.
“I hate to leave her like this.”
“You’re not leaving her. You’ll be back home soon. It’s okay, Jungkook, she’s going through a totally normal process. As painful as it is for her, she’ll be fine.”
He nods and she seems to calm down, too, turning around as if following the sound of your voice. She stares at you for a second and you smile and even though she doesn’t reciprocate it, she falls into your arms the way she does every morning.
“Hi, baby,” you kiss her chubby cheeks. “You’ll be alright. Say, I’m gonna be okay daddy!” It’s sweet music to your ears as you get a little chuckle out of her when you raise her little arm.
Jungkook stares at her, lovingly. He stares at you lovingly, too, only you’re too busy being sad to notice. You can barely look into his eyes.
“I’ll probably be late today again, w-”
“We’ll be here. And I’ll be with her. Don’t worry.”
“Thank you, ___.”
And all you can do is smile at him, only allowing yourself to stare into his eyes for a brief second, because any longer could break you further and he’d have no other choice than to know. Perhaps that wouldn’t be such a bad thing – you’re smart enough to know that. But the side of you that can barely handle your feelings wonders how hard it’d be to share them, yet again, with him. Your heart, achey as ever reminds you that it was the shared feelings he couldn’t do anything about that land you right where you are now.
You decide to be with your sadness, alone.
~
Soori’s pain comes in waves. In the morning she’s fuzzy, then after breakfast she seems to be doing a little better. You two play in the garden and you let her get messy with watercolors. She’s distracted enough for all of two hours, which you deem a success in your book. She cries again as you put her down for her nap. She cries until she tires herself and you hold her through it all. When you try to put her down on her crib, she wakes up, tears threatening to leave her eyes again, and so you hold her and sit down on the rocking chair, letting her sleep on you. You let her sleep as much as she needs and when she wakes up, you have drool all over your shirt. You smile, knowing that’s a clear sign that it was a deep and successful nap.
She’s good during lunch time and then fuzzy again afterwards. She throws a block at you and you hate that you have to give her the gentle talk when she’s in such visible pain. But she’s good and she listens and when she nuzzles herself into your arms ten minutes later, you know it’s because she’s sorry. She’s so smart and it’s beginning to show in every aspect of her.
You read her books, even as she cries halfway into the third, eventually falling asleep. You let her snooze in your arms once again, but try to keep the nap short so she can have a good night’s sleep. She’s a bit groggy and unhappy when you wake her up but she gets straight to playing afterwards. You make her a snack and it seems to be going well until she’s back to restless tears. It kind of reminds you of when you’d first met her, when you were certain about having obliterated your chances at getting to spend time with the “cute baby”. She cries and cries and yet all you can think of is how grateful you are that you got the job, by some odd chance and one hell of a lot of luck.
You stare out into the garden as you rock her in your arms. Your exhaustion is starting to get the best of you and you’re relieved when she begins to calm down, her sobs turning into tiny sniffles and her head falling into your shoulder. You give her back soft, little pats as she relaxes in your hold. And right as you think she’s about to fall asleep, her head springs up and you hear her say,
“Dada!”
You turn around, surprised eyes on Jungkook as he makes his way inside the living room. He smiles at Soori, who jumps in your hold when he outstretches his arms in her direction as he greets her sweetly.
“Hi, baby,” he takes her in his arms, lathering kisses all over her cheeks. She giggles and you smile in relief because it’s so good to see her so happy. “Daddy’s home! Did you miss me?” she claps her hands as if agreeing with him and he laughs, kissing all over her face.
“You’re home early,” you say, a small smile on your face as you take in the scene before you.
He takes a step forward, grabbing you by the waist and kissing you. It takes you by surprise but you let him. The kiss is deep but soft and it lasts longer than you’d expect. You feel his smile on your lips long before he pulls away.
“We closed the deal,” he says. “It’s done. We did it.”
You smile, hugging him to you. Your face to his chest and words muffled when you say, “congratulations.”
Soori taps on your shoulder, whining as she gets smothered between the two of you, making you both laugh as you stare at her. She looks confused and pouty, can’t decide who she wants to entertain first. She smiles at you before she’s nuzzling her head against her father’s neck. Jungkook does a little jump and she shrieks in excitement, looking back at you and smiling again.
“I want to celebrate,” he says.
“You should. I know how hard you’ve been working for this, it deserves a celebration.”
“With you.” He pulls you closer once again. “And Soori. Us three. We can have dinner somewhere nice, what do you think?”
You ponder on his words, suddenly being hit with the exhaustion you’ve been carrying since the morning tenfold. You also think about the way your heart has been actively breaking since last night, and probably for the past two weeks. You look at his face, a big smile that makes him look young and carefree. In times like these you convince yourself that you see him like no one in the world can.
“I don’t know, I-” you try, but the minute you see his smile drop, it’s impossible to keep up the cold front. “I don’t have anything fancy to wear.” you follow your lies with a smile.
He kisses you again. “You don’t need to.”
“I’d have to go change though.”
“We can stop by your place,” he runs his hand through your hair.
“Okay,” your voice is faint. Barely there.
“Great!” He turns to Soori, bouncing her in his arms. “I need to call Jin, run him through some final protocols. I’ll be twenty minutes tops and then we can go.”
He says this in a hurry, making his way to his office already.
“Aren’t you forgetting something?”
He looks at you, confused. “Huh,” and then it hits him as Soori chuckles. “Oh! Shit. Yeah.” He laughs, passing her over to you. “I’ll be right back.”
He kisses her forehead, then yours. When he turns around Soori looks at you. You stare back and shrug, making her laugh.
“He’s funny, huh,” you say, and she laughs even louder. “Yeah, he is. You have a good daddy.”
And as much as your heart exhausts itself at your words, it knows that much is true. It just can’t help but wonder if it’s enough.
~
You stand before your closet, hands on your hips as you attempt to find something that’s presentable enough for the very fancy and certainly very expensive restaurant Jungkook had chosen. French cuisine, classic interiors and a seasonal menu. You knew it was almost impossible to get a reservation because Lucy had studied their M.O. in class and often praised their chefs. In Jungkook’s case, the reservation was one call away and probably all but three minutes to finalize. He’d told you he frequented the place quite often and that they had, and you quote, a soft spot for him.
You skim through your dresses, skirts, shirts, all a little frantically as you look at the time. You don’t have much of it, but luckily you’d done your makeup first thing, darkening your eyes a bit to distract from the fact that you wouldn’t be able to pull a dress that impressed. Your hair was in an updo that looked like it’d taken longer to perfect but in reality, you’d gotten lucky and got it just right the first time.
You’re in nothing but your underwear, as if the power of your sight alone could make fancy little dresses magically appear. You don’t know what to do, and so you call Lucy.
“Hello, you,” she greets sweetly.
“Lucy, I don’t have anything to wear.”
“I’ve been well! How have you been, ___? Oh! I miss you, too.”
You laugh, playfully rolling your eyes. “I miss you more than you miss me, I can guarantee that much.”
“Never,” she says, “what’s this fashion emergency about?”
“Well, we’re going to La Mélodie and-”
“Woah?”
“Yeah,” you sigh.
“Date night, huh?”
You think about it. “Mm, something like that, sure. But I don’t know what to wear. I have nothing to wear!”
She goes silent for a second and you can hear her gears getting into motion. Finally she says,
“You do. But you’re not gonna like it. But you’re gonna have to hear me out.”
“Okay…”
“Do you remember that Halloween, well into your hoe era, that you wore that skimpy black dress and painted whiskers on your face and said you were a rat?”
You gasp. “I was a mouse.”
“Potatoe, potato.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“No. I’m pretty sure I flashed like, three people that night. Involuntarily. Like, I actually had to apologize for it.”
“That’s to blame on tequila, not on the dress! It was a good dress. And I’m afraid it’s your only option so you better buddy up with it!”
“Great. I guess I’ll be the slutty nanny tonight.”
“That’s a great porn title, make good use of it!”
“Lucy. Soori will be joining us.”
“Why is the baby joining you? No offense to the baby. But why?”
“Long story. I’ll catch you up later. I love you. Thank you.”
She sends flying kisses to you before hanging up. It takes you a minute to commit to it, but you get the dress out, examining it top to bottom. Yep, still skimpy. But it’ll have to do. You throw it over your body and walk towards your mirror. The reflection that looks back at you looks nothing like the sad, puffy eyed girl from last night. No, you look hot. Yes, it’s a bit short, but Lucy was right, it’s nowhere near as bad as you remember. It hugs your ass perfectly, drawing over your curves and pushing your tits upwards the right amount. There’s not much to it, just a little black dress, but you certainly do bring it to life. You throw a pair of heels on, cursing them the moment you feel the way it arches your feet in an inhumane way, and brave yourself up for the night.
When you leave your room, Jungkook’s jaw drops. It drops in such a visible manner that he has to collect himself and close his mouth before he makes a fool out of himself. It’s your face he fixates on first. He tries to wrap his brain around what it is that makes you look so different, yet still beautiful in the way he’s so very used to when it comes to you. It’s your eyes, he thinks. The dark eyeshadow you’ve smudged on them in such a subtle but notable way. It makes your eyes big and bright but they make your gaze fall a little bit, making him feel things in the pit of his stomach. Then his own eyes scan down, taking their time to take in your body. Your dress looks painted on and his breath hitches in his throat, letting him know it was gonna be a long night if this is what one minute of you in this dress was doing to him. But what resounds the loudest in his head is that, simply put, you looked beautiful, taking up the entire meaning of the word.
“I’m ready,” you say, letting your arms awkwardly fall next to your body, giving him a tight lipped smile.
Soori’s enthralled by an episode of Bluey that plays on your TV screen, and so Jungkook walks over to you, granting himself the luxury to simply perceive you and enjoy the view. He smiles, and though he doesn’t mean to, it’s seductive. It makes your tummy flutter, the ever so evident butterflies that never seem to leave.
“Fuck dinner.” He stands in front of you, leaving you wide eyed and your mouth agape at his words.
“Language,” you say, looking over at Soori.
“She doesn’t care about us right now, trust me,” he says, wrapping his arms around your waist and bringing you closer to him. “You,” his hand travels down your lower back, tempting to go lower but he stops himself, “look so beautiful.”
“Thanks,” your words are soft as you smile at him, wrapping your hands around his neck, letting his attention warm you all over.
One of his hands travels up, landing on your cheek, gently cupping the side of your face and you close your eyes, letting the weight of your head fall into it. His thumb brushes your skin and just as you’re about to wish for it, he puts his lips on yours. He hums against them, taking his time, tasting you, letting your smell hit his senses until all he can think about is you. His tongue parts your lips, deepening the kiss as he flushes his chest to yours. You can’t fight it. You can’t deny him, you can’t even remember why it is that you were trying to just a couple of seconds ago. In between kisses and touch, you submit to him.
He pulls away, looking into your eyes before he says, “see? I don’t need dinner. That was a great entree.”
You laugh, playfully hitting his chest. “You do have a tongue on you, that’s for sure.”
Your words aren’t meant to come off the way they do. Your intentions are a play on words to let him know he was being witty to get his way, but alas, they have him raising his eyebrows at you, a smirk adorning his lips.
“Oh,” is all he says.
“No, I mean,” you stall on your words, mind already transfixed on the other truth to your statement. “Because that was clever. What you said,” you stutter, “you get me.”
“Sure,” he says, nodding his head and pouting his lips, making you laugh and roll your eyes.
“Well, it should be a quick dinner,” he says, letting go of you. “I’m already half full.”
“See? That's what I meant with the- the tongue thing.”
He hums, taking one last look at you before walking over to Soori, her mouth open as she focuses on her show. “Don’t hate me, please,” he says, as he picks her up from the couch and turns the TV off. She cries and you laugh a little at the way he apologizes to her over and over again.
“Aw, Soo Soo,” you coo at her, and when she sees you, she throws herself into your arms, hiding between your neck as soft whines leave her mouth in expert crocodile tears.
Jungkook chuckles at the scene before him, but in a matter of seconds the image hits him like a ton of bricks. The way you hold her, beautiful as ever as you fix the skirt of her blue dress, fingers brushing through her hair, careful not to ruin the pigtails and bows you’d carefully perfected as you got her ready.
It’s picture perfect, he thinks. A sight he could get used to.
~
“Welcome back to La Mélodie, Mr Jeon,” a sweet voice trapped in a 6 foot, long legged, blonde haired body greets you at the entrance. Her voice is so sweet, in fact, that you see where the soft spot he was talking about comes from.
“Hi, Lily,” he says. “Thank you for getting us in such short notice.”
Lily.
“It’s my pleasure, Jungkook.”
Jungkook?
She smiles at Soori, who looks at her with a blank stare before she’s nuzzling her face on her dad’s chest. She then smiles at you and it takes everything in you to return the gesture so politely. Inside, you’re rolling your eyes and probably pulling a face as you imitate the way she says Jungkook emphasis on the J.
“This way,” she says, walking towards the center of the restaurant as she guides you to your table. You don’t miss the way she swings her hips as she walks, turning around ever so swiftly as she lets her long, blonde hair fall over her shoulder.
You feel insane. No, really. Jealousy is such an odd feeling. A foreign one, too. You’d never been a jealous person before – to be quite honest, it wasn’t because you were overly confident or uninterested. It was simply because you didn’t notice. You didn’t notice if someone was a “threat” or had bad intentions. Or perhaps deep down, you never truly cared. Oftentimes, it was Lucy that had to alert you on these things, pointing out how it was right there, under your nose! But you failed to see it every time. Not anymore, though. It’s clear as day and it stands right in front of you wearing very dark red lipstick.
You can feel Lily’s eyes on you as Jungkook opens the chair for you, and she disguises her vitriol with a smile as you sit down. He puts Soori in her high chair and finally sits down himself. He smiles at her, thanking her again and she winks at him. Yes, winks. Your mouth drops, quite literally. Her action is so bold it’s almost admirable in your eyes. You wonder if you could ever be such a go-getter, even if it made you vicious.
He shifts uncomfortably on his seat, looking up at you and not missing the shock that laces your face. He wonders if he should say something, but before he can come up with anything of substance, the waiter is by the table.
“Mr. Jeon,” he bows his head politely, “and Miss…”
You stare at him in confusion, opting for giving him your name.
“___.”
“Miss ___,” he says, and you smile. You don’t see this, but Jungkook smiles in endearment, hand in a fist over his mouth as he covers his chuckle with a cough.
As the waiter recites the magic behind their seasonal menu, the main ingredients they’re using this month, and today’s specialties, Jungkook looks around him. He recognizes a couple of faces and doesn’t miss the way their eyes take in the scene, dancing from him to you, and then Soori, in confusion. It suddenly dawns on him that you don’t quite look like the nanny tonight. Not that he owes any of these people an explanation, or that he cares about what they think, or what they’ll say. He’s very much past that, and has never lingered too much on it, anyway. But the more their faces turn from shock to plain confusion, the more he realizes that it’s only been a couple of months – three, to be exact – since Ira left. He wishes he didn’t, but he understands the shocked expressions. He understands why they must be thinking what they must be thinking.
His eyes land on you, fixating on the way you gently nod as you smile to the waiter, listening to him intently. The sight of you alone makes him think, to hell with what they think. The waiter says he’ll give you a minute to look over the menu, and Jungkook orders a bottle of his favorite white wine. He’d go for red on nights like these, but he knows you prefer light, sweet flavors and so he caters to you, without you even knowing.
“Are you happy,” you ask, a smile on your face as your eyes meet his.
“Very much.”
“You know, I know I said it yesterday, before our little… altercation,” he smiles, remembering the acts that took place in his kitchen. “But it’s all quite unreal to me. And I truly am in awe of… you.”
“I’m in awe of you.” There’s no hesitation in his words.
You shy. “Stop.”
“Why?”
“This night is about you. To celebrate you.”
“Exactly,” he says, “so let me do as I please.”
“Okay,” is all you say, because his soft demeanor and flattery are going straight to your head, looking past your heart that still breaks.
“On that topic,” he begins, crossing his hands over the table, “I want to head to our beach house this weekend.”
What is it with rich people and beach houses? Do they all have one?
“That sounds nice… you can rest and relax. Recover from the week and all.”
“Yeah. I want everyone to come,” he refers to his friends. “Jin and Seulgi already confirmed.”
“That sounds wonderful, Kook.” You’re kind of grateful he’s going to be away this weekend, so you don’t have to make up excuses to avoid him and you can bed rot in peace.
“Yeah. I’m excited. I wanna go sailing and we can grill every night,” he says.
“Hm,” you nod, smiling. You think of all the TV shows you’ve been wanting to start, pondering over the list to pick a winner.
“We leave Saturday morning.”
“Great!” You think of pizza and brownie fudge Ben & Jerry's.
“And don’t worry, we’re not taking the plane.”
You laugh. And then you get it.
“Huh?”
He’s equally as confused. “What?”
“The plane?”
“Yeah. You were kinda scared the last time. Plus, it’s only two hours by car.”
“I’m going?”
“Uh- yeah? I mean- I know book club is on summer break for the next three weeks so I thought- but if you’re busy or something,” he doesn’t know what to say anymore so he just lets his last words linger.
“Oh,” I mean, you are his nanny. Isn’t it expected for you to go to these things? Just like you did the last time. He’s about to say something else, but you interrupt him, “sure.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah!”
He smiles as he nods at you, but it’s an uncertain smile. Like he doesn’t quite know what just happened. Soori calls you guys’ attention when she slams her plushie against the table, giggling as she plays, letting her imagination take over. Jungkook runs his hand over her head.
“I’m excited to spend time with her. I’ve missed her this week.”
“She missed you, too. It’s gonna be good for the two of you to spend time together.”
“I’m excited to spend time with-”
“Would you like to taste the wine, Mr Jeon?”
With you, is what Jungkook was going to say, before the waiter interrupted. Not that he’s to blame. If anything, Jungkook is.
“Yes, thank you.”
The wine is good. Excellent, even. Like nothing you’ve tasted before. It’s sweet and fruity, but very light. You’re very much used to cheap liqueur and even cheaper wine, so getting to jump to the other side and try the other extremes is nice for a change. The whole night pans out like that – pleasant and delicious. The food, the wine, the dessert. You talk, swoon over Soori. At one point you ask something that makes Jungkook dive into a more elaborate explanation of what his job consists of. You let him speak, mostly because you’re interested, partly because you’re too exhausted to say anything of substance yourself.
Lily brings over the bill, and you can hear the clinking of her heels from a mile away. She smiles as she walks over to the table, even before Jungkook acknowledges her. She’s ready to pounce.
“How was everything?”
“Delicious as always, please do congratulate the chef for me.”
“I’m sure he’d love to hear it from you. Don’t you wanna stop by the kitchen before you head out?”
Gasp. She is so bold. God, does she fear nothing?
Jungkook laughs, awkwardly, as he signs the check. “I’m afraid we have to get going, this little one’s past bedtime.”
“Aw,” she says, and it’s not directed at Soori, no. It’s disappointment that’s so evident in her voice. “But it was so fun the last time.”
Last time, you almost say. Quite frankly, for a second you think the words have left you, because both their eyes are on you. Lily’s are laced with twisted pride, and Jungkook’s are apologetic.
“Thank you, again, Lily,” is all he says.
“My pleasure, Jungkook.” She bats her eyelashes at him, a saccharine smile she throws his way before she’s turning around and making her grand exit.
You stare at Jungkook, watching as he reaches for his glass of water, taking a big sip, gulping loudly.
“What happened the last time that was so fun?”
“Nothing,” he says, bringing the glass back to the table a little sternly. “I know the chef. He’s helped me recruit a couple of chefs for The West End. That’s all.”
“Ah,” is all you say.
“I don’t know what that was about. She wasn’t even- I mean, she was there, but it was mostly him and I speaking. She’s his niece.”
“I see.”
“Baby,” he says, nearly whines.
“It’s okay. I’m sorry, I’m just tired. I’m probably just irritable because of that,” you mask your jealousy with a chuckle.
Jungkook reaches across the table, wrapping his hand around yours. You wince a little, looking around you, feeling slightly exposed.
“Hey,” he says. “Look at me.”
“Yes.”
He laughs at your sudden nervousness. “Stay with me tonight?”
“But Mrs Chae-”
“I gave her the day off. I’m going late into the office tomorrow. We can sleep in a little bit. I want you to stay. Please?”
Your heart begs you to at least think about it for a second. A split second, even! But the efforts are unsuccessful, and you don’t hesitate when you say,
“Okay.”
~
Jungkook’s shower is your favorite place in the world.
Well, perhaps that’s a bit dramatic.
Or perhaps it’s completely understandable, all things considered. You remember when there was a time you didn’t believe in shower sex. Not because you didn’t think it was real, but because you couldn’t believe people actually enjoyed it. There was nothing to enjoy about it, in your humble opinion. And humble it was, because these four walls can testify about the way you became a woman of faith the moment you experienced what you liked to call premium shower sex.
You let the water cascade from your head down your body, relaxing your muscles as the massage jets hit just where you need them the most. Jungkook was putting Soori to bed and he’d suggested you take a shower in the meantime. And so here you were, contemplating. You think of staying here, waiting until he’s back, letting him get in the shower with you. Letting him do whatever he wants to you, really. That’s the truth of it all.
But you don’t. You don’t because you try to be reasonable. Sex won’t solve this, if last night is to tell. And boy, was it loud and clear. So you get out, enjoying a couple extra minutes running his warm, fluffy towels over your body, brushing your hair, doing your skincare with his fancy products and spending way too much time, yet again, picking a shirt to sleep in. You opt for a simple Calvin Klein tee, pleased at the softness.
When he makes his way to the room, you’re already in bed, Sense and Sensibility in hand as you read. He stops, taking you in before you can see him. He thanks the universe for making his dreams from last weekend come true. You smile at him, eyes following his steps as he comes to your side of the bed, planting a kiss on your forehead.
“I’m gonna shower, won’t be too long.”
“Enjoy,” you say.
He turns around, about to make his way to the bathroom but before he can get far enough he’s turning back, walking towards you again. You look up, stars on your eyes is what Jungkook can swear he sees.
“Thank you for staying. And for coming to dinner. That,” he pauses and you hear the hint of nervousness that takes on his tone of voice, “was good. I mean, that meant a lot to me, is what I’m trying to say.”
“Of course, Kook.”
He kisses you. It’s short and sweet, leaves you craving more as your lips feel his absence right away.
The minute he’s out of sight, your heart sends a question shooting straight at your brain. It’s aggressive and angry.
What are you doing?
Its simplicity holds deception. The simple answer would keep the whole thing contextual: he wants you to be here, he asked you to be here. You celebrated an important night with him and now you’re in his bed because isn’t that what you do? The last words get your heart going, beating faster with complexity. It says, no! It is not what you do. Or perhaps it’s what you do with your boyfriend, which he is not, by the way. Your own cruel words make you wince. Your heart opts for a softer approach, simply reminding you that you’re not doing yourself any favors. That playing house with the person that has made you question pretty much everything about both life and love in the past couple of weeks isn’t the best way to make sound decisions. That with every kiss you’re reminded of why you love him, and with every kiss he reminds you that perhaps to him, it’s just a kiss. A kiss that holds affection, sure. But not a kiss that holds love. Your incessant thinking makes you wonder if what you ask for isn’t too much. You wonder if it makes sense to want him to love you the way you did him. You couldn't ask that of him, at the end of the day. You couldn’t ask that of anyone.
Sense and Sensibility is long forgotten, your brain too loud to make sense of the words you read. You turn to your side, cozying up against the pillows. You try to close your eyes but every time you do the images that play in your head are somewhat crazier than your thoughts. You toss and turn and simply opt for keeping a soft gaze towards the ceiling, focusing on your breath and trying to remember what Lucy’s meditation tapes you can sometimes hear in the mornings say.
“You okay,” you hear Jungkook ask before you can see him. He chuckles at the sight of you.
He walks closer to the bed, one towel wrapped very low around his hips as he runs another through his hair, drying it. Little droplets falling over his body, making it glisten. You let yourself stare at him because the sight alone leaves you slightly speechless. You’re not proud of it, but another part of your body pitches in on your heart’s debate and says, this is why.
“Yeah,” you finally muster the words, “can’t sleep that’s all.”
”Mm, yeah. That happens to me when I’m really tired sometimes. Bit weird, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, makes no sense.”
“It’s okay, just try to relax, baby.” His knee hits the mattress, hair towel discarded to the side as he makes his way to you.
“Y-yeah, I’m trying,” your eyes follow his every move as he gets closer.
His hands rest at your knees before he says, “I like this on you, by the way,” eyes zeroing in on his shirt.
“It’s comfy,” you say, eyes closing at the feel of his fingers gently roaming down your legs.
“Keep it, baby.”
“No, I like it on you more.”
He laughs. “It’s okay, I have plenty.”
He opens your legs, inching closer before he lets himself gently fall on top of you. Your fingers thread through his wet hair, pushing it back.
“I’m having the best night ever,” he says, playful eyes on yours as you both laugh.
“You must be easy to please,” you say.
“Depends on who’s doing the pleasing,” he watches the way your gaze flutters before your eyes close at the anticipation of his lips on yours. And when he finally kisses you, you both sigh, falling into it. It’s slow, just allowing your lips to lazily move against one another’s. You run your fingers through his hair, nails softly running down his scalp and it makes him groan in satisfaction. You push your body further down into the mattress, letting your legs fall open as Jungkook settles better between them. A moan escapes your lips as the motion has him pressing his cock into you.
“Kook, I’m really tired, I don’t think I’ll handle it.”
He shakes his head, kissing you again. He doesn’t pull away as he says, “no. I want to make you feel good, baby. You don’t have to do anything.” He looks at you, eyes closing in pleasure when he pushes his hips against yours. “Please?”
You nod, a little caught in the feeling. “Okay.”
“You’re so beautiful, you know that?”
“Jungkook,” you say, turning your face away from him in a timidness that he finds so endearing.
“Don’t ask me to stop saying it because I won’t,” he says, fingers finding your chin and turning your face to him again. He pecks your lips before he says, “fucking gorgeous.” You laugh, and he likes the sound of it and so he feathers kisses all over your face, down your neck where he knows it tickles, rejoicing on the way you giggle as you try to push him away. It’s hard for Jungkook to choose between the sweet sound of your laughter, or the way you moan when the last kiss he places against your neck ends with a tiny suckle.
“Can I taste you, baby?” His voice is deep, right on your ear, sending goosebumps down your spine.
“Please,” and he loves the airiness the word has on your mouth.
His kisses on your neck grow deeper, enticed by your moans and the way you pull at his hair, soft and hard. His mouth begins to travel down, letting his hands roam all over your body at a leisurely pace. He loves it when he can go slow, take his time, make pit stops on the parts of your body he loves the most. He loves your lips, and so he kisses them, snaking a hand down your shirt and cupping at your tits, drawing circles on your nipple with his thumb, making you squirm. You feel him smirk against your lips, always getting a little cocky at how well he can pull at your strings until pleasure is the only thing you can think of.
He pushes the soft material of your shirt away, lips kissing down your chest until they’re closing around your nipple. A throaty moan leaves you and you circle your hips, making Jungkook hiss as his cock jumps from the contact alone. But he doesn’t want to focus on his immediate pleasure, no. He wants tonight to be about you. He wants to take his time with you – make you feel so good your body has no choice but to sleep the overwhelm off.
His tongue plays with your nipple, in an ever so slow pace that has your eyes rolling to the back of your head. He lets his free hand touch all over your body, down your waist, squeezing your hips, nails scraping slightly at your thigh. He looks up at you, eyes meeting your hazy ones as he sucks on your nipple, biting gently when your fingers get tangled in his dark locks. He moves his hand closer to where you need him the most, tentative little touches that have you clenching in mere anticipation.
“No teasing,” you warn.
“No fun,” he says, pouting before he’s biting your nipple again.
But Jungkook just wants to make you feel good. He wants to give you what you want, he wants to hear you and feel you, and the thought of his tongue on your heat has him nearly salivating. And so he complies. You sigh when he presses his middle and ring finger against your clothed clit, tiny little circles that have you leaking in no time. He feels it, fingers dampening against the cotton of your underwear as his mouth kisses down your torso, leaving a wet trail on your tummy that makes you feel electric the moment he pulls away. His fingers hook inside the side of your panties, his touch soft. Too soft.
“Take them off,” you say, no edge to your voice.
He does just that, pulling away for a second to roll the tiny fabric off your legs before he’s back on his tummy, between your legs, one of his own bent slightly as he gets comfortable. You find it so lewd – the way he enjoys this. The way he enjoys it when his eyes zero in on your cunt, glistening for him.
“Fuck, you’re so wet,” and his eyes never leave, following his index finger as it parts your slit. A low, controlled moan leaves his lips when he sees how wet you make his finger, how you leak for him. The tip touches at your clit, making you gasp before you’re letting out a moan. “And so sensitive, baby.”
You’re a bit delirious but you manage to look at him as you nod, your voice so shaky when you say, “I need you- it’s been a while since I’ve had your mouth.”
His thumb circles your clit. “You’ll get my mouth, baby. But I just wanna see you for a little longer, ‘kay?” You nod again. “Prettiest fucking pussy.”
You’re about to shy away from his words but he wastes no time, pushing a finger inside of you, making you groan as your head hits the pillow. He tests the water, feels how tight you get around him, thumb still working your clit as he pushes a second one in. He pays attention to your moans, the jerk of your hips, his eyes never leaving you as you roll your lips between your teeth, arm hovering over your head before you’re hiding underneath it.
“Look at me, ___.”
You do, eyes threatening to close as he picks up his pace, hitting that spot inside of you continuously, expertly matching your breath with each push and pull.
“Fuck, I’m so close already,” you whine, closing your eyes for a second.
“Want my tongue, baby?”
“Fuck, Jungkook, please,” you plead, gasping when his index and middle finger press on your g-spot, tiny little movements against it. “Please.”
“I will, baby. God, how can I not?” His lips close around your clit, making you moan in sweet satisfaction. “You ask so nicely- fuck, ___, you taste so good, baby.”
Jungkook is growing delirious, too, struggling to keep his own pleasure at bay, hips rutting against the mattress as he places little rhythmic suckles against your clit. You look down at him, eyes meeting his and he smiles. It’s dirty, bordering on obscene, but you love it. You love how much he loves making you feel good.
“Like that, Kook,” you whisper, “shit, don’t stop.”
His tongue parts your folds, teasing your hole before he’s lapping at your pussy, spitting on it before his ministrations are back on your clit, sucking, licking, circling. You’re so wet, and so close, you can’t quite make out his actions. All you know is the white, warm feeling that takes over your body, making you a little lightheaded. His fingers push inside of you once again, making you clench around them, mouth parting in shock and pleasure.
Jungkook hums against your pussy, eyes closing at the feel of you. “You’re so close, baby. Want me to make you cum?”
And the question alone could do it for you – in fact, you have to take a second to concentrate on not letting go. There’s something so fucking divine about him knowing exactly where he’s got you at. You nod, one airy, “please,” and that’s all he needs to finish you off. His fingers don’t go faster, but they go harder. His tongue focuses on your clit, silky flesh lapping determinedly at your nub, sucking on it when your legs begin to shake.
“Oh, fuck- Jungkook,” you cum with his name on your tongue, letting out a little cry when you feel him moan against your pussy at the sound of his name. It’s too much, the way your muscles contract and then release, but you can’t get enough of it. “Don’t stop, Kook, please.”
He doesn’t. He milks you with his fingers, feeling the way you leak down his wrists, making a mess out of his mouth as you pull at his hair, nails digging on his scalp. You cum on his tongue, and you come down on it, too, letting yourself fall into him so quickly that the over-sensitivity has you pushing his head away with shaky hands.
“Oh my fucking God.” You drop your head to the pillow behind you, hands covering your eyes as you try to regain your breath. Jungkook just stares at you, head resting on your inner thigh, smiling and drunk on you. He feathers one single kiss on the soft skin of your leg, and your body jumps a little, making him let out a boyish chuckle that makes your heart beat steadfast. You laugh, too.
You let a couple of minutes linger on, the two of you sharing the same pillow, just laying in bed. You take a while to come back to your body and when you finally do, the exhaustion takes over.
“Come here,” you tell him, and he obliges, body flushed on top of yours once again. Your hand travels down, feeling how hard he is. He hisses, his own hand closing around yours before he’s shaking his head. “Why? You’re so hard.”
“You’re tired. I just wanted to make you feel good. I’m okay, baby. More than okay, actually.”
“But,” you say, confusion lacing your words.
“Tomorrow. You need rest. I think I’ve succeeded at making you sleepy,” he laughs.
“Fuck, you really did.”
He lays back next to you, a sigh passing his lips before his head turns, meeting your eyes.
“You know, you were right,” he says.
“What about?”
His smirk gives him away before his words can.
“I do have quite a tongue on me.”
~
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Nanase being infatuated by his pink lock partner not cuz he’s like weirdo but because he think she’s so fucking cool. You’re a little flustered by the compliments and praise he gives you for literally breathing. It feels like showing a toddler the most basic magic trick the way his eyes light up and the smile spreads across his face.
“I’m so buzzed!” He exclaims as the two of you make your way on the field. You promised you’d show him your direct shot, and teach him how to do it, and you were sure that he didn’t sleep all night due to the excitement. He was a breath of fresh air in the other wise bleak program. Bluelock was filled with people who would sell your soul for a grain of rice - if they had any respect for you, other wise it would be for free - so his general cheery attitude had you smiling for the first time in weeks.
“Okay-“ you sigh, using the helm of your shirt to wipe your sweat off. “Again.” You instruct as you two get ready to run through the drill again. Him trying to copy what you had showed him and you trying to block him. It was more beneficial to you than him, because explaining the moves to him made you understand the process better and then executing it made you perfect any mistakes.
When the spandex finally came in, you wouldn’t admit it, but you were nervous as fuck. Being surrounded by all the pretty and literal definition of peak female athletic physique has you second guessing yourself as you look at your self in the bathroom mirror. This was such a stupid thing to get hung up on, but with the overall anxiety and self doubt that lingered in bluelock, body dysmorphia wasn’t something unexpected. You convinced your self not to crawl back in the old frumpy uniform by remembering how much you sweat it in, and decided to prioritize not getting a heat stroke over your anxiety. You could cry about it later.
You hoped it wouldn’t be that much of a distraction, maybe if you acted like everything was fine it would-
“WOOOOW!”
You cringed at the sound of Nanase as he walked up behind you. “I didn’t know you had so much muscle-“ he said cheerfully. It was so stupid. Such a small compliment - coming from a man who had more muscle than you could ever have- ogling at your biceps and asking you to flex. You came to hate how he could turn your mood around.
“You look like a Micheal Angeles statue!”
“It’s Michelangelo , Nanase.”
“Oh.”
That stupid himbo had your heart.
When it came time for selection for the U-20 team, the men went first. You crossed your fingers and hoped that Nanases name would be mentioned, glancing over at him with a smile before it began. Looking over in concern when his name didn’t come up. He looked dejected, rightfully so. But when it came turn for the woman’s U-20, and your name was one of the first to be called - you froze. Oh my god, this was your dream.
You seemed to freeze up, only coming to when you felt someone wrap their arms around you and pull you into a hug.
“Oh my god!” Nanase exclaimed. “I’m so proud of you!” He pulled away from you and smiled looking down at you. It took you a minute to realize what was happening. Had he walked across the room to come congratulate you? You could see the remnants of tears in his eyes - no doubt from the crushing news he’d just received, but despite that he has a smile on his face, looking down at you with no joy. No malice, no jealousy. Just… pure happiness.
You felt your eyes tear up, it had been so long since you had heard that. It broke your heart to see that he didn’t get selected, you had seen first hand how capable he was, but regardless, he seemed to focus on your victories rather this his failure.
As he began to blabber about how ‘buzzed’ he was that he’d get to see you play on the big screen, you just looked up at him with a smile on your face. Wondering how your kids would look like, because goddamn… you’re head over heels for this guy.
#ferg0s#blue lock oneshots#blue lock imagines#blue lock x reader#blue lock#bllk#bllk x reader#nanase nijiro
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Can u do making out with jungwon headcanons 🤭
₊˚ʚ Making out with Jungwon✧˚
A/n : Hello Anonnie! Thankyou so much for requesting! In my previous post I have written a whole fic of making out with Jungwon, so if you'd like to, you can check it out!
Warnings : Making out (obvi), grinding, neck kissing, hickeys, love bites, slight swearing, ass groping, mentions of touching him over his pants and him getting a boner
Word count : 552 words
Masterlist - Tips
Poor baby would become addicted to your lips, esp when they lingered on his for a little longer.
Even when you pull away for breath, he's definitely the type to chase after your lips in a needy manner.
He's even the type to make it very intense and be quite tense himself
"Wonnie calm down baby, there's no need to rush"
But he would just be very excited and giddy almost, loving the feeling of your lips on his.
He would always close his eyes, focusing on the feeling
When he wants more of you, he would either lick your lips or gently bite down on your lower lip, making you yelp in surprise.
When you lips part, he wastes no time sliding his tongue in your mouth, tasting you and exploring your mouth.
And the second his tongue meets yours there's no going back oml
He feels aroused by the feeling and starts squirming around, his hips twitching
When your hands snake to the back of his head to pull him closer, he almost loses it.
He starts kissing you like it the last time he's ever going to be kissing you.
Then you pull away, making him whine at the loss of warmth on his lips
But then he whines because you lips are on his neck, sucking on his sweet spots and kissing softly, almost in a teasing manner.
He feels himself get harder at the sensation, and when you point it out, he feels his cheeks go red, too shy about it.
But that's until you start marking him up, he feels your teeth gently nip at his skin and suddenly his shyness is out the window
He bucks his hips up, desperate for any sort of friction
He tilts his head back, giving you more surface area as he whimpers out you name
"Y/nn please, I need more"
He's such a needy baby I swear
His warm hands find your waist, sneakily sliding under your sweater and rubbing your sides.
But when that doesn't work, he's not afraid to find your backside, groping your ass
Does this while kissing too, just to rile you up
Maybe if he's feeling a little more confident, grabs your hand and places it on his growing bulge
"Feel how hard I am for you baby?"
Moans out when you slightly squeeze him through his pants "Fuuuuck, Y/n, need you"
You smirk at his adorable state; messy hair, puffy lips, red marks decorating his neck and collars, hips twitching and his hardness prominent in his pants.
You lean in for another long kiss, this time grinding your hips on him, giving him some relief.
"Mm t-thankyou y/n" he tries to say between kisses. But unfortunately you still leave him hanging
"Jungwonnie you're so adorable, but I gotta go, I'm gonna be late" you say, leaving him pouting for you to come back
Poor baby >:(
He ends up dealing with his boner in the shower, thinking of you
When he's done and looks at the mirror- notices the hickeys and love bites and immediately his cheeks turn crimson red
He blushes, remembering of what you two did, how your lips felt on his and on his neck and how much he loves kissing you
He feels cool having to hide hickeys 😎
Thanks a lot for reading, I hope you enjoyed it!
Inbox is always open for new requests!! (I need some)
Lyyyy <333
If you enjoyed this post, you can help support my blog by tipping me here! Anything is highly appreciated!
#enhypen#enhypen masterlist#enha#enhypen smut#yang jungwon#jungwon#jungwon enhypen#jungwon smut#jungwon x y/n#jungwon x you#jungwon fics#jungwon scenarios#jungwon headcanons#heeseung enhypen#jay enhypen#jake enhypen#sim jake enhypen#park sunghoon#kim sunoo#nishimura niki#nishimura riki#making out with jungwon#kpopfilthandfiction#wonnie#nat writes : enha
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young!coryo x fem!reader fluff
a/n: fluff fluff fluff i love fluff !!!!!! hoep u little snakes like it too <3
-----
Staring at the clock on the wall, you wanted nothing more than to be back in your bed, tea in your hand.
You felt the headache start not long after you woke this morning but thought nothing of it as you gathered your Academy uniform, putting the blame on the new perfume your younger sister was trying.
A soft nudge on your right drew your attention away from the clock, your boyfriend looking over at you curiously.
“Hm?”
“Are you feeling alright? You’re usually one of the few who willingly engages in this dreadful class.”
Coriolanus gestured to the literature class going on around you two, the professor going on about something or another.
Shrugging, you twirled the pen in your hand. “I’m fine, Coryo. Just a little tired.”
Narrowing his eyes, Coriolanus didn’t believe you one bit, but he also knew you well enough to realize that you weren’t going to budge.
“Grandma’am and Tigris went out for the day, you can come rest at my place after classes.” He was privy to your rambunctious home life- two younger siblings and parents who only knew how to fight with one another.
Smiling, you thanked your boyfriend before trying to focus on the rest of the lesson.
-----
Staring at yourself in the bathroom mirror, you were half temped to bribe the Peacekeepers stationed at the back exit of the Citadel and skip the rest of your day. What you thought couldn’t get any worse had surprised you in the worst way possible.
Taking a deep breath, you made sure the slight wave of nausea was out of your system before joining your classmates in the bustling hallways, wanting to avoid a certain blonde’s eye.
“Hey, are you okay?”
You jumped as Clemensia came alongside of you, worry evident on her face.
Sighing, you felt you façade crumble just a bit, confiding in the black-haired girl. “I’m starting to think I’m getting a migraine.”
They were a rarity in your life, you could only count on one hand the number of migraines you could remember, but they gave you hell every time.
Clemensia’s worried frown deepened, unsure of how to help. “Do you want me to get Coriolanus or anything? See if Casca could spare a morphling bottle?”
Shaking your head, you softly groaned at the pain it caused. “No, no don’t get Coryo. He’s got enough on his plate already, he doesn’t need to worry about me, too.”
“You’re kidding if you think he doesn’t worry about you.” Clemensia replied, following you to an emptier hallway, taking your bag while you unscrewed the water bottle.
You gave the girl a look, dropping the now-empty bottle into your bag. “Do not tell Coriolanus. If I still feel like this in a little I’ll tell him.”
Clemensia could see it on your face, you had no intentions of telling your boyfriend, but she didn’t want to interfere, unsure of how Coriolanus would react if he head the news from someone else.
“Whatever you say. Now come on, Casca will probably put us in the Games if we’re late to class again.”
-----
Coriolanus knew you weren’t telling him something when you didn’t respond to Arachne’s dig at your clothing, something you two were known to bicker about.
He scootched his chair over towards you, lacing your hands together. “You sure it’s just tiredness? Because I don’t think I’ve ever seen you not bite back at Arachne, even after our anniversary.”
You felt your cheeks flush at the comment, but you chose to otherwise ignore that part of his comment. “Maybe I have a headache, too.”
Frowning, Coriolanus chewed on his lip. He knew you’ve suffered from migraines and knew that sitting in a classroom wasn’t the best way to get rid of one. “A migraine?” He whispered, not wanting to aggravate the ache anymore.
“A small one. But it’s really nothing, I’ll be fine.” You admitted, still not letting him in on the full truth. “Now shush. I’m not in the mood for Dean Highbottom to unleash whatever punishment he’ll come up with if he catches us talking.”
Coriolanus remained quiet for the rest of class, thumb rubbing soothing circles on the pulse point on your wrist.
As soon as he dismissed the class, Coriolanus was on his feet, grabbing both his and your bags. “Come on, let’s go home.”
You rose after him, grabbing onto Coriolanus’ blazer as the world tilted for a moment. “Hold on.”
“What’s going on? Are you okay?” He asked, setting the bags down to hold your other elbow, keeping you steady.
“Just a little dizzy. Nothing I haven’t experienced before.”
Growing tired of your half-truths, Coriolanus let out an exasperated sigh. “You don’t have to lie to me about how you feel.”
You popped an eye open, seeing worry and anger written over your boyfriend’s face. “Fine, fine. I feel like I was hit by a train, okay? My head’s hurt all day and I nearly threw up after Festus showed us his lunch.”
Coriolanus swore under his breath, helping you to your feet. “You should’ve said something earlier. I’m sure you could’ve left and rested.”
“I’m sure all would have been fine if I suddenly disappeared, Snow. Remember what happened when I left a few months ago for my grandmother’s funeral?”
Coriolanus did indeed remember; he was nearly expelled for the reign of terror he caused after noticing your mysterious disappearance.
“That’s what I thought.” You mumbled, squinting as the bright clouds increased your headache tenfold. “Jesus, when did it get so bright out?”
“I have a few train tokens left, come on. It’ll be faster than walking, and it’s darker in there.” Coriolanus passed the two tokens over to a Peacekeeper, who in turn let you two onto the train heading to the Corso.
-break-
Collapsing on your boyfriend’s bed, you hummed in content when he drew the curtains closed. The walk up to his family’s penthouse nearly took you out, but a promise of hot tea and a nap gave you the strength to make it up.
“At least change before you sleep, don’t crease your uniform.” Coriolanus toed off his shoes, moving your own heels out of the way to avoid a potential tripping hazard.
You groaned, but sat up and shed the maroon blazer and coordinating button-up shirt. “What would I do without you, Coryo?”
Grinning, your boyfriend threw on a pair of more comfortable clothing, helping you into an outfit you kept in a drawer at his place. “Suffer through Arachne’s awful opinions and Festus’ crude remarks alone, I presume.”
You blindly threw a hand out, lightly slapping your boyfriend’s thigh. “Be nice, Coryo.”
Coriolanus laughed quietly, joining you on the bed. “Life is more fun when being bad, you know that.” He quipped, right hand going to rub soothing circles on your back. “Go to sleep, the faster you get over this migraine, the faster we can practice for our next anniversary.”
You were already nearly asleep, Coriolanus guessed, otherwise you would have had a stronger reaction than a simple snort.
-----
a/n: hey send requests that would be dope but i won't write smut it's not my vibe
#coriolanus snow imagine#coriolanus x reader#coriolanus x you#coriolanus snow x reader#coriolanus snow#hunger games imagine#the hunger games#coriolanus snow fluff
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[A:3 C:57] (Ramos)
“Any tummy troubles?” (Gina asks Bonnie.)
“Nuh uh.” (Bonnie replies, still in bed.)
“Weird memory stuff?”
“Nothin’ weird.”
“Do you ever feel bad feelings for no reason?”
“Uhm, I don’t think so.”
(Gina looked over at Nille, who sat next to you. She shrugged.) “They feel bad for things that’s not their fault.”
“HEY!!!” (Bonnie pouted.) “Nuh uh!!”
“Yuh HUH!!”
“YUH HU-” (Bonnie was interrupted by a wheezy coughing fit. Gina gently rubbed their back and helped them through it, then handed them some water.)
“You’re alright, just remember, no yelling, okay?” (The Doctor reassures.) “You can sit down, Nille, it’s alright.”
(You didn’t even see Nille jump up to Bonnie's side; what speed. She sat back down.)
(The check in continued. Gina wanted to ask a few things, make a few checks, get a few ideas for what could be causing the nightmares. Apparently, the weird shade and damage was from something to do with the island you couldn’t remember. Either way, Bonnie should be free to go soon. You didn’t even need to be here, but Pétronille asked you.)
(You could ask that tea person about herbal teas, couldn’t you? Maybe that’ll help-)
(Nilles thoughts had been a constant string along the same line of thinking; how to help Bonnie. It was sweet, really, big sister just wants little sibling to be okay. Stars, you had to get a lid on this mind craft.)
(PTSD Nightmares? Possible. Unknown allergy? Low chance, they’re a cook, spices-?)
(Gina's mind was a steady stream of information. Connecting one thing to another like a puzzle. Some pieces slotted into place right away, others required some work, and some were put aside until the puzzle was more complete. The only thing it was interrupted by was by a special someone. Huh!)
(But Bonnie's mind. . . .)
(---------------------------------------------)
(They just sounded like empty air.)
(No matter how hard you listen, you can’t hear anything from Bonnie's head. Why? Was it because they were still a kid? That’s weird, if it is.)
“How’d you sleep last night by the way?” (Gina asks.) “You slept almost until noon!”
“Uhm. . . It was pretty good?”
“R-really?!?” (Nille asks, excited.)
“Uh huh.” (They fiddle with the blanket on the bed.) “It was, uhm, still a nightmare, but. . .”
“Buuuut?”
“There was a uhm. . . A weird, glowy, moth in it this time.”
(?!?!?!?!??!?!?!??!??!?!!)
(Bonnie continues as you try to hide your reaction.) “It, uhm, stayed around the whole time, and if there were any really scary parts it’d land on my nose, ‘n I couldn’t look away from it ‘ntill the scary part was over.”
“Huh!” (Nille crosses her arms.) “Weird! What kind of- Gina what’s with the face?”
(Gina’s face was one of absolute shock, mouth hung open. He shook his head clear.) “U-uh, that, t-that I. . . O-oh Change that. . .”
(He glanced over at Nille, then to you, once he saw your expression mirrored his own.)
(Your mouth was open, hair on end, face sweaty and cold. You felt a lump in your throat, a pit in your stomach. T-that. . . Your gaze drifts to the dreamlight. As does Ginas.)
“. . . I-I, wouldn’t have thought, in a million years. . .” (Gina sounded dumbstruck.)
(. . . You know what you need to do next, right?)
(You, stand up. Legs made of dried tinder. You felt like you were about to collapse like a house of cards. Each step begged you to keel over and die. You walked, wordlessly, to the dreamlight.)
(You tap it once; to exchange greetings.)
(You tap it twice; to give thanks.)
(. . . . . . T-thank you. Thank you. Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you. I-I, I, I don’t know why, but, thank you so much, thank you, thank you. . . I’ll, I’ll make it up to you I, thank you. . .)
(The chime dies down. You wanted to throw up.)
“. . . I didn’t know you practiced Flickerism, Ramos.” (Gina comments.)
“. . . I-I, don’t.” (You shake your head.) “Not since Eri took me in.”
“Oh.” (His tone changes, softer.) “. . . I guess Flicker likes you. Are you going to be alright?”
“I, just, need to step outside.” (You quickly walk to the door, ignoring any questions or concerns, then step out.)
(You lean on the wall next to the door, then slide down to the floor.)
(Breathe, breathe, breathe, breath.)
(Breathebreathebreathebreathebreathebreathebreathebreathebreathebreathebreathebreathebreathebreathebreathebreathebreathebreathebreathebreathebreathebreathebreathe-)
(You ran away because of that. You ran away because of that. You ran away because of that why did they listen to you why did they help you why why WHY!!!)
(Likes you?!? LIKES YOU!?!?!?!? WHY!?!?!? You ran away!! You ran away and didn’t look back!!! You abandoned them!!! You abandoned them for Change! For the Universe and the Stars!!! Why!!! You’re panicking. You need to calm down. You need, to-)
(Calm down please calm down calm down calm down-)
“Hey.” (You snap to attention. Nille’s standing next to you. You look up at her.)
(. . . She kneels down, then hugs you.)
“. . . Thanks.”
(You, hesitate, then hug her back.)
(. . . . . .)
“. . . Wanna talk about it?”
“. . . A, a-another time.” (You take a shaky breath.) “I, asked for help the other day. Didn’t expect to, actually get it.”
“Gods are weird.” (She pulls back from the hug, smiling softly.) “But, thank you, really. Going out like that for Bonbon, I owe ya one.”
“You don’t owe me anything, Nille.” (You chuckle, leaning back against the wall.) “I just, need a second, but thanks.”
“Don’t worry about it.” (Nille pats your shoulder, then gets up to walk back in the room. She smiles at you before going back in.)
(. . . Stars. . .)
>>>
(Siffrin) {Mal Du Pays} <Null> |Asterion| [Loop] [(Saffron)]
|Bonnie was safe. Stars be blessed Bonnie was safe.|
|Soon after Siffrin and the others returned from the medhouse, Siffrin switched out and you were here once again. Oh. . . You’re not sure how much you could handle it. You had been fronting so much lately, stars know why. But, between what happened with Boniface, how Ramos is developing. . . Oh. . .|
|It was. . . Only a matter of time.|
|You were in Ramos’ room. Well, the room yourself, Ramos, and Isabeau shared, now. You lay on the bed while the others were downstairs; you just wanted time to think. You even left Siffrin's dagger down there to dissuade any worries.|
|So. . . What, do you do?|
|Keep who you are hidden? Not possible. Madame Odile could sniff you out. Or Ramos could read a stray thought and out you.|
|Talk to the other headmates? Absolutely not. Each and every one of them despises you, and for good reason. TO discover you’re here, in their mind. . .|
|Talk to the party? Hmm, maybe. . . But, one at a time.|
|Lady Mirabelle? You were to freeze her home in time, she would hate you. Madame Odile? Also no, she is far too intimidating, far too. . . Knowing. Isabeau? Hmm. . . Maybe. . . He has been kind to you. . . But, well, he may not react well. Boniface? No. Pétronille? Also, no.|
|And, Ramos. . . They, well, they were-|
|There’s a quick knock on the door and it opens. You jump in place as Ramos walks in, a box in hand. They look at you and wave.|
“O-ohuh, still Asterion?”
|You nod.| “Yes, ah, s-sorry. I can leave, if you. . .”
|Ramos stops for a second, then shakes their head.| “No, it’s, it’s okay.”
|They close the door behind them. They pause, then walk over to the window, placing the box down to the side. You watch as they wordlessly examine the window.|
“. . . . Ah, is, everything, alright?” |You blink, confused.|
“O-oh, uh. . .” |They look to you, then away.| “. . I’m, trying to figure out where the sun would come through the window.”
“Oh!” |You hop off the bed and walk over.| “Let me.”
|Ramos steps back and watches as you look over the window, mouthing to yourself as you think. This window faces the west, since you’re somewhat close to the equator the sun should line up well. . . It is winter, but that still means you got a lot of daylight. At this angle. . . Considering the rest of the year. . .|
|You trace a finger from the window, across the room, to a blank part of the wall.| “Here, along that line is where you will get the most sun throughout the whole year.”
|You turn back to Ramos, their face is. . . Oh, quite the mix of surprised and grateful. You smile, softly.| “. . . Did, that help?”
“. . . Yeah, i-it, it did. A lot.” |They let out a breath, and turned to open the box they brought. After a moment of looking inside, they pull out a. . . A dreamlight?|
|They stand there holding it for a minute. You walk over, curious.| “. . . Isn’t that the. . . Ah, Flickerism, thing?”
“. . . Y-yeah.” |They take a shaky breath in, and out.| “. . . Eri got it for me on my 10th birthday. They thought it would be a nice little thing but. . .” |They shudder.| “It, just brought back memories, so we packed it away in the attic.”
“. . . Ah. . .” |You slowly reach up and put a hand on their shoulder.| “. . . Bad memories?”
“Yeah. . .” |They close their eyes.| “. . . Most of my birth family, and the town, was torn between Flickerism and Soleanism. . . Eventually, every conversation would go back to those arguments. . . My mom was a Soleanist, my dad was a Flickerist.”
“Dad wanted my metamorphosis, o-oh uh, a coming of age ceremony, to be the Flickerist one. Cut your hand open, pour some blood into a dish of sugar water, stay up all night with the moths that would gather in self reflection.”
“Mom wanted to do the Soleanist one, spend three days in a cave with no food, no light, and a knife. On the first day you cut your right hand, the second, your left, and you rest on the third.” |Ramos looked up at the ceiling, face sad.| “It was, a lot.”
“One day I asked about what changing meant, if I could do that. Dad was hesitant, but would support me if the Dreaming One decided it was alright. Mom said I couldn’t until I come of age, because at that point I was ‘no longer her son, I was the Radiant Ones son.’”
“That’s when I realized that I had to leave. They didn’t care about me, just about their Gods. And the Gods didn’t care about me.”
|Ramos lets out a shaky breath, then looks back down at the dreamlight.| “. . . But then Dreaming One, Flicker, helped Bonnie last night, so. . . I don’t know what to think.”
“. . .” |You stand next to Ramos, then lean your head on their arm.| “I. . . I know the feeling.”
|Ramos turns to you, a silent request to go on.|
“. . . The Universe asks that we follow, and it will guide. In return it grants our wishes.” |You take a shaky breath.| “We. . Used to think it did not care about us, some still think that. With how our wish was granted, with how it seemed like no matter what, we were always lost.”
“We thought it abandoned us. . . But it didn’t.” |You close your eye.| “It made mistakes. Very human mistakes. It was trying to fix things, make things better. . . Some say the Universe is a teacher, and I suppose, it is a teacher who should feel guilty if its students all fail a class.”
|Ramos considers this for a moment, then smiles. Moving their arms to pull you into a side hug.| “Heh. . . Yeah, maybe. . . Thanks, Asty”
“A-ah--” |Asty?!? You’re blushing, just a little.| “I-it’s, it’s nothing, Ramos. . . S-so, do you plan to put this dreamlight up, then?”
“Yeah.” |Ramos squeezes you, then lets you go. They grab a hammer and nails from the box and walks to the part of the wall you pointed out.| “You hang dreamlights in a bedroom, where the sun shines the most. Gimmie a hand?”
|You help them put it up, Ramos talks as you work.| “Dreamlights, or crucelights if you’re a Soleanist, act as a bridge between the dream realm or divine realm respectively. They’re basically the same thing but y’know, semantics.”
“I don’t remember what you do with crucelights, but with a dreamlight, all you’re asked to do is hang it up. It’s customary that every few days you tap the dreamlight once to essentially just, say hi to Flicker? While the dreamlight chimes, you just think about how you’ve been doing, what’s been happening in your life, that sort of thing. You’re essentially sending Flicker a mental letter like you would an old friend.”
|Ramos was hammering a nail into the wall.| “You tap it twice if something particularly good happened to you that you think the Dreaming One was responsible for; sending a mental thank you letter while it chimes. Then you tap it a third time if you desperately need help, and, well you get the idea.”
|You help hang up the dreamlight. The sun was going to shine on it soon. Ramos continues.| “The other day I. . . Well, I tapped it three times, asked Flicker for help, not really thinking they’d do anything. Let alone anything so. . . Direct.”
|You both step back, looking at the copper disc on the wall.| “. . . It, shook me up, I won’t lie.”
“. . . I. . . Understand that.” |You hold your hand out, Ramos takes it, and squeezes.|
“. . .” |They look away.| “. . . I hope, they’re not mad at me, for following Change. A-and, the Stars, to an extent.”
“Ah, ahaha. .” |You cover your mouth a little as you laugh.| “I don’t know about the Change God, but, if my instincts are right, I believe those following the Universe had many arguments with Those of the Soluna religions.”
“Oh?” |Ramos turns to you, curious.|
“Soleanists follow the sun, the singular sun above all others.” |You chuckle.| “To those who follow the Stars, it is practically an insult to disregard all other stars just because one is a bit closer!”
“Pfft-” |Ramos chuckles back.| “Well, heh, I promise I won’t go starting any arguments then. N-not that I, plan to, well. . .”
“. . . .” |You squeeze their hand.| “. . . I understand.”
“Thanks. . .”
|. . . Oh Universe. Jinn. Please, allow me this little drift from your path. You let go of Ramos’ hand, walk up to the dreamlight, pause. . . Then tap it, once.|
|. . . . .|
|. . . . . Greetings, Dreaming One.|
|I am unsure if you do hear me, or I am speaking to nothing but dust. But, I digress. My friend, my close friend, revealed to me just now their history with you. I helped them put this dreamlight up, even. So, I thought it would be appropriate to say hello, as it were. So, hello!|
|A few days ago was the first time I learned about your dreamlights, and soon after, it helped me jog memories, old arguments, discussions, etc. But I don’t really care about the discourse of religion anymore; you helped Bonnie, so no matter what, you have earned my respect.|
|As has Ramos, actually. They may believe themself to be a failure, but they are one of Siffrins family now. They are doing better, we all are. . . But, I have my own sadness to deal with; the blood on my hands, and how it wont wash off. Hopefully, if I ever chime your dreamlight again, I won’t be fearing for how they will react.|
|. . . . . The chimes died down. You turn to Ramos.| “. . . Did, I do that right?”
|Their face was, soft, an emotional soup of joy, fear, excitement, sadness, and relief. They nodded.| “Yeah, I’m sure you did.”
|You walk to them, and give them a full hug.| “You’re a very wonderful person, Ramos.”
|You feel their arms slowly close around you.| “H-haha, why is everyone complimenting me today?!?”
“Because you deserve it?” |You look up at them.| “Ran faster than any other to get Bonnie to safety, made a wish to a deity you thought abandoned you, helped calm Nilles nerves in recovery. . . Stars, Ramos, you have been. . . incredible!”
“A-asty. . .” |They pull their bandana over their mouth.| “I’m, just, trying my best to be useful.”
“You’re always useful, helpful, and kind, Ramos. . .” |You rest your head in their shirt, and sigh, relaxed.| “. . . T-that’s, why. . .”
“Hmm?” |You feel their hand in your hair.| “Is, everything okay?”
|. . . You make the decision.|
“. . . N-no, no. It is not, Ramos.” |You hold tighter to them.| “I. . . I Have something to talk about. None of the party knows, none of my headmates do, either.”
“. . . You can talk to me about it.” |You feel them gently run their fingers through your hair, you feel your shoulders relax.| “I-if you want. I can keep a secret.”
“Alright. . . Please, please keep it to yourself.” |You, very shakily, breathe in. . . . . . . . and out. . . . . . . . .| “. . . You understand what Null is, yes? Where he has ‘come from?’”
“An introject?” |Ramos says, questioningly.| “Latched onto a personality while being formed, right?”
“That is right.” |You gently let go of Ramos, and back up. You sit on the floor, legs crossed.| “He is a fictive, as the personality his psyche latched onto was from a piece of fiction.”
“Okay. . . Are, you like that?”
“P-partially. . .” |Oh. . . It, was time.| “I. . . I am an introject, but a factive. One who is based on another real person, not of fiction.”
“Alright. . ?” |Ramos sits down across from you.| “Is it, is it someone the others wouldn’t, like to, uh. . .”
|Rip the bandaid off.| “I am a factive of The King.”
|There’s an uncomfortable silence. You look at the ground, praying to the Universe this was the right move. . . You continue.|
“I. . . I have fake memories of being the King. Both things that happened, and that did not. I look like the King, I feel like the King. But, I do not want to be anything like him! I-I, I don’t want to hurt them, I want to help them. A-and, I want to atone for what he, I, did. B-but, I cannot do that if I hide, but, I-I. . .”
|You feel a hand on your shoulder. Looking up, Ramos had kneeled down to your level.|
“. . . . . Breathe for me?
“. . . O-okay. .”
|You, breathe. In and out. . .|
“. . . You're okay, Asterion.” |Ramos got closer. Another arm around you|
“. . .am, I?”
“You are, I promise.” |Both arms around you, they were hugging you.| “You don't want to hurt them, right?”
“R-right. . .”
“Then you're alright. They forgave me, they'll understand.” |They squeeze you, close.|
“. . . A-and, headmates. . . ?”
“. . . Here, how about this?” |They lean back to look at you.| “When you're ready to talk to them, I'll hop into your head, and be there with you. Okay?”
“. . . R-ramos. .”
|You dive onto them, holding them tight in a hug.|
“Thank you. . .”
#Yes this is a hk thing. kinda#tl;dr character of my that origonated in HK but has evolved into their own thing so#isat#art#isat art#isat au#in stars and time#siffrin system au#isat fanart#sifstem#isat spoilers#isat siffrin#isat asterion#isat king#isat ramos#isat bonnie#isat nille#isat oc#isat fanfic
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90 days 🍷
pairing: charles leclerc/fem!reader
type: written imagine (angst)
word count: 2.3k
notes: this is just very angsty and has little to no dialogue, apologies for errors this was not proofread lolol lmk what u guys think <3
warnings: none too gruesome! mentions of break up, fights, and recollections of fond memories only
about: charles can’t avoid you forever and he cannot afford to do so. it’s his first time seeing you again after you parted ways, and it seems as if the entirety of his being still belonged to you.
Charles wanted to say no. He wanted so badly to decline his brother’s invitation by possibly coming up with some reason why he couldn’t go, but in his heart, he just cannot find the will to do so.
He was torn, between the possibility of seeing you again after everything that went down and the fact that he desperately needed a night out. Ever since the two of you decided to give each other’s hearts back, Charles had been picking up pieces of himself and he admits he’s all over the place. Not having you in his life sucked. He doesn’t bother to find any melancholic or beautiful word to describe it; everything just sucks. At the same time, he doesn’t think avoiding you would be any better. You both had many similar circles of friends and you both lived in the same, small city. It was only some time before your paths had to cross again, inevitably.
He thinks this might possibly be the better option, like ripping off a band-aid. Maybe by seeing you, he can assess the progress he’s made for himself, that is if he’s actually made any. But deep down he knows, he looks forward to seeing you, finally being in the same room as you because it felt like forever since he was last graced by your presence.
Had the two of you been together still, Arthur’s invitation will probably be of two counts instead of just one. It’s like he could still picture you standing in front of your shared room’s full-length mirror, trying on an outfit you have already decided on, proceeding to ask him what you should do with your hair. Charles adores the way you pull out pictures from your phone, knowing he was more of a visual learner, just so he could pick which hairstyle would suit you better.
As he proceeds to the bathroom so he can freshen up before leaving, he glances at the completely empty countertop. Before, tiny trinkets of your things were laid out on it neatly. He could spend an eternity watching you do your makeup or curl your hair. He misses seeing tubes of foundation and eyeshadow palettes spread on the marble top or cords of your hair straightener plugged in the socket near the paper towel. He remembers the time when you had let him do your make-up and he ended up giving you a spectacular smoky eye, and by spectacular, you looked like a raccoon. But the two of you laughed about it anyway, and he apologizes by peppering kisses all over your face as he drags the makeup wipes across your eyelids.
The nightlife you can find in Monaco was definitely unbelievably alive if you had to describe it. It doesn’t matter if it was a race weekend; even if it wasn’t, the city was always awake. High-class restaurants filled to the brim with reservations, bars littered with people who want a fun night that they forget whatever it is they’re running away from. He’s probably doing the same thing, so he can’t judge.
Charles ignores the fact that his car ride to the restaurant was just him retracing all your steps and recalling all the memories he’s made with you. The glovebox of his car used to have some of your belongings and he had been accustomed to seeing you in the passenger seat, now his undeniably really cool and expensive car just seemed lonely and empty. He knows in his heart that car rides with you were always the most peaceful and most fun, he doesn’t mind how you play all your favorite artists’ songs even if he doesn’t know half of them. He gets the kick when he sees you singing along, your voice filling the cold car. He misses seeing you close your eyes in solitude when the windows are down, reiterating how you prefer riding his car with the windows down because it gives you a clearer view of what’s outside.
He sighs to himself when he gets out of the car, prepared to accept whatever the world plans on throwing at him should it decide that it was time for him to run into you. Whatever this was that Arthur had planned was not a party, more of a lively dinner and chat with friends, which Charles was thankful for because he was sure seeing you again in combination with heavy liquor would just result in his relapse.
Charles enters the restaurant, seeing a few of his friends. He nods at some, smiles at others, and embraces the others rather tightly. He feels a bit lighter, slowly starting to think it might be a good idea he came. It was rather nice to be surrounded by friends, maybe for a while he can forget the despondency he left at home and in his car.
“Hey, you came!” Arthur gleams, as he makes his way over to his older brother. He slings his arm over Charles’ shoulder, right after they exchange light kisses on the cheek.
“Of course, I did,” Charles replies, glad he saw his brother again, who looked like he was having fun.
“Also, I know you already know but I invited her. She’s Carla’s friend and the three of us have a ton of mutual friends, it would just seem wrong not to,” Arthur raises the subject, something Charles hopes he wouldn’t, but it had to be addressed anyway.
“No, it’s fine.” he responds, trying to appear as emotionless as he can. “I mean, technically we have the same friends. It’d just be a matter of time before we had to see each other again.”
“I know, but-” the younger retorts, quite worriedly.
“It’s okay, Arthur. Besides, it was my decision to go anyway. I can’t avoid her forever.”
“Plus, it’s been what, 3 months? If by now I still can’t handle seeing her without breaking down then I really need to seek some help.” Charles says, followed by a light and quiet laugh. He tries to make a joke of it all, a desperate attempt to lighten the atmosphere, but not even his own brother is a stranger to his obvious salvage.
But all it really was was just humor. It really has been three months, a shy of 90 days since you departed from his life, but he’s afraid to admit he was still tethered to you and he’s even more scared to face the reality he might never be completely over you.
Arthur then left him as he proceeds to sit down. He chooses a seat near the corner of the table, already beside Joris and in front of a friend. This way it’s unlikely you had to sit in front of him or beside him. Before his brother left him to his thoughts, the younger Monegasque was quick to reassure him you haven’t arrived yet, so at the moment he should have nothing to worry about.
But then he hears your name. He hears Arthur greet you at a distance he knows is in the restaurant’s front doors. The sound of your lively and soothing voice travels to his ears and it’s as if he winces in pain by hearing you. If your voice alone can shatter the pieces of himself he didn’t even think he had anymore, he’s in fear of what happens to him when he gets to set his eyes on you.
Joris sends him a knowing stare, a look of worry in his eyes, and Charles knows it was his signal that you were right behind him. Charles tries his best to not look back, to not glance at you, even if it felt like he was physically fighting the muscles in his neck and back.
You make your way to the table, smiling to friends and hugging some, and Charles feels his heart break as soon as his eyes landed on you. It didn’t make it better that you looked breathtaking, your hair neatly parted to the side, and the dress you wore hugged your body rather perfectly. He feels a lump in the back of his throat, still not immune to the effect you had on every room you entered. He didn’t know how you did it, but each time your presence fills a room, everything just becomes brighter and lighter. He feels his chest lighten, yet at the same time, it feels as if it’s being weighed down by tons of rocks.
The ridiculously long table Arthur had acquired was of no help. You were sitting fairly far away from him, but you were on the opposite side so he still got a clear view of you. The restaurant’s warm light hits you to perfection, the features of your face highlighted rather marvelously it makes Charles’ heart hurt. Deep down he feels you were avoiding his gaze, trying your best not to look at his direction, so Charles tells himself to do the same. For some time he desperately tries to fill his mind’s own silence by conversing with his friends, trying to forget the fact that you were mere seats away from him.
He feels as if someone had ripped his heart out of his chest and smashed it to the ground, stomped on it until all the blood had drained out of it until it turns white and pale. Truly, seeing you had just proven he was still aching, in the same magnitude as the first day he slept on a bed without you in it. 90 days and still he thinks he hasn’t made any progress, so terrible he wants to bash his head just to get over you.
Charles wonders how someone can go from a soulmate to a stranger, how you can go from being the person he runs to when he feels like the world is crashing down on him to someone who’s behind the tears he quietly sheds at night. How someone who’s met his family and the entire team in Ferrari, how one can go from being Fred’s self-proclaimed daughter to someone he can’t even look at without being in pain.
No matter how hard he tried to avoid it, his eyes unconsciously still landed on you. He feels something pull at the nerves in his heart whenever you smiled and laugh, and he figures you were still as beautiful as the day he lost you. He closes his eyes and remembers the day the two of you hit your tipping point - the night you packed up your things and left your shared apartment, leaving Charles to ponder alone in a cold and empty room. He remembers how you both started to settle things as calmly as you could and he’d forgotten how you got to a point where it was just frustration and pent-up anger. He can still picture how you slammed the door behind you and he remembers how he threw his phone across the room - not aimed at you, but out of emotion.
“Earth to Charles,” Joris snaps his fingers across the table, trying to get his attention.
“Yeah? Sorry, zoned out a bit.”
“Uh, Peter’s asking how you’ve been,”
“Oh well I’m okay. Life’s not always sunshine and rainbows so it is what it is,” Charles replies, adding a small laugh at the end.
“Hey, by the way, I’m sorry about your split with Y/N. Must have been tough.”
“It was,” he says, turning his head to look in your direction and looks back at his friend right after. “But it’s all good.”
Except Charles was just a liar. It was not all good, he knew that, and everyone who knew him well enough would see right through him. He’s never been a good liar nor a good pretender, people close to him knew he was hurting. Joris knew it, thankfully, he got Peter to change the subject before he pried any further. But Charles couldn’t blame them, because they were witnesses to his greatest love story yet - the one he had with you.
He misses you, so bad it makes him want to just walk up to you and tell you he longs for you. He misses you more than he remembers you. He doesn’t care about his friends anymore or what people might say, he doesn’t care if he’s going to ruin all the progress he’s made no matter how little it was, he wanted you back in his life it’s disrupting all his senses. All he could do now was look at you and wonder how you’ve been doing, because God knows he can’t ask you himself. He has a hundred questions he wants to ask you; how you’re processing everything, if you’ve been taking your supplements daily because you tend to forget, and if it was still him that resided in your heart.
Except he can’t. So he decides to stash his feelings in a box and stowed it away in the back of his head.
“Hey, uh, I’ll just get some fresh air.” Charles excuses himself, deciding to give himself a breather. Too preoccupied with his own thoughts, he doesn’t notice you were gone from the table as well. And maybe he’s better off not knowing, he didn’t attend tonight just so he can weep and watch you.
Head down yet still cautious of the path he was walking, Charles continues his stride with the goal to get out of the restaurant so he could climb up its balcony that overlooked the city.
As he climbs up the stairs, he notices a shadow, someone else coming down so he decides to step aside and let them through.
Much to his surprise, he was greeted with the only one he’s ever longed for and loved, still.
“Charles,”
“Hi.”
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tagging: @slytherheign, @honethatty12, @siovhanroy (lmk if anyone else wants to be part of my tag list hehe)
notes: thank u sm for reading <333
#writtenbyrae#charles leclerc#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc fanfic#charles leclerc x female reader#charles leclerc one shot#charles leclerc drabble#charles leclerc angst#formula 1#f1#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#f1 angst#f1 drabble
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broooo u gotta continue the stories of the fan signs especially nikis !!!
i adore this gif he's so pretty
pairing: niki x male!reader (he/him pronouns) genre: fluff word count: 1.0k
warnings: (very brief) mentions of homophobia
includes: idol niki x fanboy reader, blushy niki, supportive jay, this can be read by itself, the breaks are supposed to be timeskips lol, i kept it as male reader bc that's what the original request was, i hope that's okay !!
a/n: thank you for requesting !! i hope you like it :))
ENHA REACTION TO MEETING A FANBOY
requests open !! read my rules first
“hello?”
“hey, it’s y/n,” niki lights up immediately when he recognizes your voice. he pulls his hood further over his head as he rushes out of the building in search of privacy. he waves off jungwon’s confused glance when he’s finally outside. “we met at the fansign earlier.”
“yeah, i remember you,” he smiles though you can’t see it. “it’s good to hear from you.”
“it’s good to hear from you, too.”
“hey, niki- oh, sorry,” jay pauses when he sees the boy on his phone, silently setting his bag down on the ground. niki simply nods, turning his attention back to you. your phone has been propped up against a pile of books to keep you in frame as you continue typing up your assignment.
“when do you have practice?”
niki glances up at the clock before turning back to you. “right now, actually,” he chuckles.
you finally turn back to the camera, lifting up your phone so he can see you more clearly. it’s a small gesture, but he appreciates it all the same. “i’ll call you later, then?”
he nods with a smile mirroring your own. “i look forward to it.”
“you always say that.”
“i always mean it.”
you playfully roll your eyes as he chuckles. “bye, niki,” he brings his hand up to form a half heart. it’s become a habit since you first started talking regularly and slowly grew more comfortable around each other.
“bye y/n.”
“is that the boy from the fansign?” niki jumps slightly at the question; having forgotten about jay entering the room.
his face flushes a light pink as he turns his phone off and shoves it back into a pocket of his bag. “his name is y/n.”
“so it is the boy from the fansign,” jay chuckles. he walks closer as niki stands up, joining him in the middle of the room in front of the mirrors. “you guys facetime?”
niki nods. “we’re friends.”
“just friends?” he looks away, ignoring the way his face lights up with a deep blush. jay laughs at his embarrassment as he walks over to pat his shoulder. “don’t worry, i won’t tell anyone. besides, i think it’s cute.”
he purses his lips as he wills his face to stop burning, silently grateful for the support. “thanks, hyung.”
niki spends weeks thinking about you and debating whether or not he should take a chance on asking you out before he finally makes up his mind. it’s late - nearing midnight - when his feelings feel too strong to ignore. you’re telling him about your day in between rounds of the newest first person shooter game you found.
your voice plays clearly through niki’s headset as he plays with his fingers, still silently trying to build up the courage to make the first move. “niki?”
“what?” he jumps slightly at his name. “sorry, what were you saying?”
“is everything okay? you’ve been quiet for a little while.”
“everything’s fine, i’m just… a little distracted.”
“are you sure? we can stop for the night if you’re too tired.”
niki sighs a little. his mind swirls with thoughts and possibilities. telling you could mean risking his career if it ever got out. it could mean losing his friends. losing you.
“i’m okay. i promise.”
“okay.” the few seconds of silence that pass feel agonizing. it’s become common for both of you to go silent while on calls together. it’s a byproduct of spending hours together on phone calls - eventually you run out of things to say. but it’s never felt so suffocating before. “hey, i… have something to tell you, but i don’t want to make things weird.”
“y/n, you could never make things weird between us.”
niki can hear you take a shaky breath before you continue. “i like boys. like… romantically.” his heart skips a beat for a second before he forces himself to relax again. you liking boys doesn’t mean you like him. he’s so caught up in his own thoughts he almost doesn’t notice when you unnecessarily start trying to explain what you meant. “i know it’s not really accepted here and you probably think it’s weird and-”
“i’m in love with you.” the words escape him before he realizes exactly what they are. his eyes widen and his face flushes a deep red. “i mean…” he sighs, setting his controller down and running a hand over his face. “i have feelings for you. strong feelings. i’ve never felt this way before - about anyone. i just… i’m in love with you.”
“i love you too.” niki’s eyes widen. you let out a nervous laugh as you continue. “i’ve been in love with you for a while now.”
“can i take you out sometime? on a date?”
you smile when you speak again. “i’d like that. tomorrow?”
“i’ll come pick you up.”
niki’s hand slips into yours as he leads you further down the river. you follow behind him as you hike through the foliage closer to the water. a gentle breeze blows past you every now and then, rustling your hair slightly.
he squeezes your hand as he leads you over to a small patch of grass near the river bank. a small blanket has been set out, complete with a picnic basket. you can’t help the small chuckle that escapes you. “a picnic?”
niki shrugs as you smile, leaning over to press a kiss against his cheek. “do you like it?”
“i love it. thank you.” niki smiles as he feels the weight of your head lean against his shoulder. you let out a small, content sigh as he reaches over to wrap his arm further around your waist. you let yourself relax further against him as he leans down to press a kiss against your forehead. “you know, i’m really glad i gave you my number,” he whispers.
you shift to look up at him with a small smile. “i’m really glad i called.”
niki hums, moving his left hand up to cup your cheek. he smiles as he tilts your face upwards to pull you into a sweet kiss - only the first of many.
#niki fluff#niki x reader#enha fluff#enha soft hours#enha x reader#enha x male reader#niki x male reader#enhypen fluff#enhypen x reader#enhypen x male reader#niki x you#niki x y/n#niki scenario#niki drabble#niki one shot#niki imagine#enha imagine#enha one shot#enha drabble#enha scenario#enha fanfic#enhypen fanfic#niki fanfic#enha x you#enha x y/n#enhypen x you#enhypen x y/n#enhypen imagien#enhypen scenario#enhypen drabble
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The Day Before The Last
(Rin x Nanase fanfic. "Blue Lock" is by Kaneshiro Muneyuki, and illustrated by Nomura Yusuke).
Rin explicitly told Nanase that because the country boy is now his property, Nanase has to train exactly how Rin tells him to. Being the strict trainer that he was, Rin later explained it would include Nanase mirroring his routine like Rin's: time when to wake up and sleep, meal time, yoga exercises. This excludes, of course, the group training which would revolve around Loki's schedule.
However, Rin told him that whatever Nanase does before bedtime is up to him, though he had to strictly adhere to the sleeping time. By twelve midnight, Nanase should stop whatever preoccupied him and sleep.
However, the day of waiting finally came to an end.
That day was a nerve-racking day. After their group practice that afternoon, Loki gave some announcements. Then he let out a battle cry, telling his minions to give their all for tomorrow's match: the game against Bastard Munchen, the last game of the Neo Egoist League. It was a day of reckoning for tomorrow, for both teams had never tasted defeat. Tomorrow would determine which group would proudly call itself the best European league in the match.
And for Rin, it would mean finally crushing Isagi and that other guy named Michael Kaiser. For Nanase, it was the final day he could prove himself and somehow increase his bid after getting a bid following the game versus Manshine City weeks ago, and increasing his bid while being at the 24th after the game with Barcha.
After their yoga session that night, like their usual, Nanase and Rin took a bath together at the communal bath. For more than a week already, it was a common sight for the other members of Paris X Gen to see the two together despite the fact that they didn't do that prior to the special training.
Initially, Rin had a room to himself, just like Loki, Shidou, and Charles. But after the start of the special training, Rin informed Loki that Nanase should room in with him so he could monitor his minion closely. Loki just agreed to it if it would mean increasing the chance of PXG winning against Bastard Munchen.
Since rooming in together, Rin found out that Nanase always used the shitty hair dryer that Ego provided for his players. Rin knew that the most notorious one to use that device was Chigiri, who Rin had seen twice while preparing for the match against the original U-20 team. The other person he knew would do that was the fashionably long-haired Aryu, though Aryu would do that once his hair was a bit dry from a towel wrapped around his hair. Though it was common for guys to use a hairdryer, but in Blue Lock, only a handful ever did that. And it included his roommate. However, Nanase seemed to use the lower setting, so it was not that noisy. Rin knew that Nanase had learned by now what pleases him or what irks him.
But tonight, the country bumpkin was unusually quiet and was not his chatty self. Even at the communal bath, Nanase scrubbed himself in silence. The pressure of tomorrow's match must have gotten into his nerves. So when Nanase finished drying his hair, Rin just observed the country boy keep the dryer and sit on his bed, staring at the floor pensively.
"Oi, what's up with you?" Rin finally asked him.
Nanase finally lifted his head and looked at Rin. The ace of Blue Lock noted that something was off with the way Nanase looked at him. The country boy looked... wistful.
"Tomorrow's the day, Rin-san," Nanase said in a soft voice. "I am glad Loki-san chose me fer the starting lineup, but it's mah last chance ta increase mah bid so I can join the U-20 team."
Rin scoffed before replying, "Of course, you will. Who do you think trained you?"
But Rin felt his cheeks warming up and he wondered why, especially when Nanase only smiled at him with those sad eyes.
"Rin-san. Rin-san trained me hard," Nanase replied. "I will do mah best ta be useful ta ya on the field."
"Of course, you should. Remember, I told you I will not hesitate to throw you away if you don't work according to how I want you to function."
"I know," Nanase replied again.
"Be confident, Bumpkin. Your lukewarm behavior is killing my mood tonight," Rin said in his usual stoic remark.
"Still, I wanna thank ya for training me," Nanase said, "Despite the fact that at first, ya didn't really wanna train me at all."
"You took the first step," Rin reminded him. "That's the most important thing."
But Nanase only smiled before staring back at the floor. Rin knew that theirs was just a transactional relationship, but somehow, he realized during the sixth day of training that he had grown a bit fond of this sunny young man, the opposite of him. He remembered the first time they met during the game between Team A vs Team B during the Third Selection. When Nanase greeted him politely, he ignored Nanase and heard Isagi tell the country boy that Rin was just like that. Of course, Rin remembered that well. Despite the fact that Nanase had a headband and had thicker eyebrows, he and Isagi could pass off as fraternal twins.
"I'm going to the pantry to get me some water for bedtime. Do you want me to bring you some too?" Rin offered. It was only rarely when he did something for someone.
But Nanase only nodded, his gaze still at the floor. Rin rolled his eyeballs. His mentee should stop being so emo tonight. So Rin stood up from his bed and started to go to the door.
But just as he was about to hold the door knob, he felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist, a head leaning on his back. Rin was shocked and felt his cheeks heating up again. But the tsundere that he was, he coldly asked Nanase.
"Is there anything else you wanna tell me?"
With a soft voice, almost in a whisper, Nanase replied, "Nothing."
The voice was so tender that Rin felt his stomach doing somersaults. The contented moan coming from the other boy told him what he wanted to know, what he had learned during their times together but had refused to acknowledge: Nanase liked him. Looking back in hindsight, he realized he was also wondering about himself, why he found himself staring into those periwinkle irises. He realized that Nanase was cute, and he was forced to admit, on the day before their final game, that he also had fallen for his teammate. Rin put a hand on Nanase's own and gently held him.
Nanase felt himself blushing. He felt his cheeks warming up when he realized that Rin held his hand and intertwined their hands together. The next thing took him by surprise. Rin let his arms go and turned around, and he wrapped his arms around the shorter guy.
"We can do it, Bumpkin. Just trust me. Look at me."
"Hai..."
Rin hugged Nanase tighter and carded his fingers through the other boy's hair. The shampoo and conditioner at Blue Lock were shitty. No wonder Aryu used to complain about it. No wonder Yukimiya once said if only he could smuggle inside the facility the hair products he endorsed as a model. Despite that, Rin still felt how soft Nanase's hair was.
"Let's get some water from the pantry before we sleep. And once we come back, I want you to stay next to me, hm?"
"Hai," Nanase whispered while wrapping his arms around Rin tightly. The thought of sleeping next to Rin somehow made Nanase at ease.
"What will I do with you, my Bumpkin? How could have I noticed you only now?" Rin confessed.
"I like ya, Rin-san," Nanase confessed too.
"I know," Rin told him. "I observed you for fifteen days, and I realized that the way you look at me differs from the way you look at others."
It made Nanase bury his face on Rin's shoulder.
"Trust me, Nijiro," Rin said to Nanase in a voice more tender than what he intended to. "We will win this. We, Paris X Gen, will win this."
"Hai," Nanase replied once again.
The moan escaping from Nanase's lips had Rin, once again, feeling his cheeks heating up and his heart fluttering.
"Is this how a crush is supposed to feel like? It feels nice," he admitted to himself as he held the other boy in his arms.
--end--
#blue lock#blue lock manga#bllk#itoshi rin#blue lock rin#bllk rin#blue lock nanase#bllk nanase#nanase nijiro#nanarin
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idk if u take requests but if you do could i request a fic w lady bellaston (maybe w the same reader character as your previous lady bellaston fics??) where they’re at a party and lady b is knowingly flirting with others to make reader jealous all the while sending looks at reader like ‘what are you going to do about it:);)’ and reader takes her to an empty room and fucks her lol no worries if you don’t take requests tho!!
Masquerade - Lady Bellaston x fem!reader
Masquerade - Lady Bellaston x fem!reader
warnings: smut
note: I've really grown to love the oc I creadted with the whole Under Her Spell story. Love that even though the story is officially over, you requested the character again. Also love that you all love the series so much.
word count: 2.2k
“I understand you will attend the masquerade ball next week?” Your father asked, just as he was about to head out for the day. “Affirmative, father. I’ll have William fetch my clothes from the tailor this afternoon.” You responded, looking at him from your desk as you dropped the quill in your left hand.
“You’re not again writing that foolish poetry, are you? Son, how often must I tell you that you are no Shakespeare? And quit writing with your left hand.” He ordered, a deep frown on his face.
“When my time comes around, lay me gently in the cold dark earth. No grave can hold my body down. I’ll crawl home to her.” You recited the words written down on the piece of parchment before you, looking your father straight in the eye. The man’s frown seemed to only deepen at your words. He turned around and left without saying another word. You sighed. Nothing you ever did could seem to make him proud.
Later that day, William arrived with your clothes for the ball. Your father had insisted on the family colors, however, you decided to only go for the blue and switch the black for silver elements. He was not attending either way, so you thought you could just as well do a bit of your won thing.
You hadn’t seen Lady Bellaston since the night the two of you spent at Champagne Lane, but you regularly exchanged letters. William was so gracious to act as a courier for the two of you, delivering your letters to her and her letters to you, so your father wouldn’t suspect anything. William truly was a man of honor. He’d been around the manor for as long as you could remember. For a long time he had been your only friend.
The letters mostly consisted of her telling you about how much she longed to be with you again, while your letters always included a new poem of yours that you had written for her and only her.
Since you met her, your creativity had increased. You saw her in all the little things. The flowers, the sky, the clouds, and the moon with the stars at night. Sometimes even a word was enough to make you think of her.
As the masquerade ball was approaching, you felt yourself grow nervous. It was the first time that you would be seeing her after Champagne Lane. What if she suddenly decided she wanted to end it all? What if she had told anyone? What if she had told your father?
“Are you quite alright, Y/n?” William asked you as he fixed the buttons on your shirt. Whenever your father was not around, he called you by your real name. Whenever you heard your own name, a smile appeared on your face. Your father always called you Atticus. Everyone called you Atticus. Everyone but William, Charles, and now, Clarissa.
“Yes, it’s nothing.” You sighed, your hands a bit clammy. “Is it about Lady Bellaston?” He asked and you met his eyes. “I haven’t looked at the letters. But I sense there is a strong connection between the two of you.” He explained as he stepped aside for you to look into the mirror.
“We have been sleeping together, if that is what you are asking.” You told him as you smoothed out your clothing. “I was not implying-” William started but you cut him off, chuckling. “It’s fine, William. Really.” You told him. “I suppose, I am just nervous to see her again. We’ve been talking over letters over the past two weeks, but what if she decided that she wants to end whatever we are having? What if she thinks it was wrong?”
“Everything will be alright, Y/n. I’ve seen how she beamed when I came with your letters every day. How she was eager to get your reply. She won’t change her mind. And if she does: Whatever happens, happens. Everything happens for a reason.” William tried to soothe your nerves. “Thank you, William.” You genuinely told him and he gave you a smile. “Now leave. And enjoy yourself. Your father is in Paris until the day after tomorrow, do not worry about the time of your return.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow then. And thank you again.” You told him as you got ready to leave. “My pleasure, Y/n.” He spoke and left you alone.
The carriage in front of your home seemed to have arrived just in time for you to leave. You were still nervous but William seemed to have managed to calm your nerves down severely.
There were already loads of people at the masquerade when you had arrived. You got off the carriage and looked at the mask in your hands. With a sigh, you secured the mask over your eyes and tied it at the back of your head.
You looked around, trying to find any sort of familiar figure but decided it was not worth the effort. Everybody looked so different with the mask on. You still tried to find that one particular blonde among the many people.
“You have got to be kitting me! Atticus Huntington?” A voice grabbed your attention and you turned around. You were met with a small man. His hair was neatly pulled back into a slick bun at the back of his head. “Blifil? Is that you?” You asked. You hadn’t seen the man that you knew when he was still a boy in years. “So it is you! I haven’t seen you in a long time. What have you been up to?” The young man asked. “Spent some time in the countryside. Wrote a book. Everything and nothing, really.” You explained. Then Blifil was saying something about how he wanted to go to the countryside too, but it just didn’t seem to be a fitting environment for him and some other things that you didn’t quite catch because you were distracted by something, or rather someone.
About fifteen meters away was a woman in a yellow dress, a mask hid her face, but you would know that hair anywhere. It had a different color than all blonde hair you had ever seen. It had a texture that you’d know everywhere. And she was talking with some man, a tad older than you. A hand on his arm as she laughed at something he said. You had a hard time drawing your eyes away from her but managed to get back to your conversation with Blifil.
“I don’t think you’d be a fit for the countryside either, lad… Look, it was nice catching up with you, but I need to find someone.” You explained and gave his shoulder a pat. “Yes, no worries, I must be off as well.” He said and you parted ways. When you looked back to where you had just seen Clarissa with the mysterious man, there were now two ladies, one dressed in delicate green and the other in a deep purple gown. You looked around. No sign of Lady Bellaston.
As you were about to give up on searching, you saw the yellow dress again out of the corner of your eye. There she was, talking to… Tom Jones? What could she possibly want from Tom Jones? Surely she was not going to allow him to wed Sophia. There it was again. That laugh. That laugh that you had come to adore so much. The laugh that you thought was only for you.
As if Clarissa seemed to have felt you watching her, her head turned and she looked at you, giving you a smirk. That was when you knew what she wanted. It was all a game. She wanted to make you jealous and you hated that it was working. Your jaw clenched when you watched her laugh at yet another joke Ton Jones seemed to have made. She looked at you again, quirking an eyebrow at you as if to say ‘what are you going to do about it?’. You took a deep breath before abandoning your drink on the next best table and then made your way over to where Clarissa and Tom Jones were seated.
“If it isn’t Tom Jones. Are you not supposed to be talking to Sophia? My Lady Bellaston.” You acknowledged her presence as you put on a fake smile for Tom Jones. “I was just about to leave.” He gritted out between his teeth before getting up and leaving.
“Follow me.” You said to Clarissa, grabbing her hand, leading her to the next best room inside that you could be alone in.
“What was that about?!” You asked her through gritted teeth. “Why in God’s name were you trying to seduce Tom Jones?! He’s not in love with you!” You were backing her up against the closed door, leaving no place to escape for her. She had a smug smile on her face as her hands reached behind her head to get rid of her mask before she reached around your head to get rid of yours as well.
She caught you off guard with that. It was not what you had been expecting at all. Confused, you looked at her, meeting her emerald green eyes. “Because I want you.” She breathed out. “And this was the fastest way.” She explained, a hand cupping your face, thumb tracing your bottom lip.
“You’re mine.” You breathed once you had comprehended her words. “You belong to me. And if you ever look at him like that again, you are going to be very sorry, Clarissa.” You told her and her pupils dilated at your words. “Understood?” You asked her, looking deep into her eyes. You took the small whimper that fell from her lips as a yes. “Turn around.” You ordered and she immediately obliged.
You practically tore the dress from her body, not caring if it took damage as you removed it from her body. You just needed so much access to do what you had in mind. “Now I’m gonna show you who you belong to.” You growled into her ear. You looked around to find the next best place to take your activities to and saw a desk in the middle of the room. You got a hold of her hips and led her to the wooden piece of furniture.
One swift movement was all it took for you to lift her up to sit on the desk as you stood between her legs and removed her underwear. As you did, you got the perfect look at her breasts, corset so tight they were threatening to spill out of it. And the little heart-shaped mark was present once again.
You dragged your index finger up her slit and a low moan left the woman’s mouth. “Oh, darling. I’ve barely touched you and you are already drenched.” You chuckled at the wetness you found between her legs.
Without a warning, you thrust two fingers into her dripping core, Clarissa’s head falling back at the rough pace you set from the beginning. Your fingers play with her sensitive bundle of nerves, while one of her hands reach for your hair, gently tugging on it, while streams of moans leave her throat. Your lips latch onto her cleavage, leaving mark after mark on her porcelain skin.
Her gasps get higher in pitch and once you feel her flutter around your fingers, you pull away fully, gaining a groan and whimper in response. Just as Clarissa was about to say something about it, you slipped your fingers back inside, thrusting even harder and faster, a moan taking up the space of her words. Her pupils were blown wide, and her chest was flushed and covered in, what you thought was, art.
Your thumb on her clit continues to tease her further, her gasps becoming more frequent and the rhythm more frantic. Just when you curl your fingers into that special spot inside of her, her back arches fully into you, and a loud moan leaves her mouth. When you press your lips to hers in an attempt to silence her loud moans, the kiss is sloppy and messy. A few moments later, curses in what seemed to be French started leaving her mouth. Within the next few moments, you can feel her walls flutter around your fingers and her hands clawing at your back, into the fabric of your suit, while you throw her over the edge. You helped her ride out her high, before pulling away. “Who do you belong to?” You ask her, wanting to know if she remembered anything about your conversation from before. “Yours.” She panted, trying to catch her breath.
Her hair was now messy, the heart-mark washed away by sweat and her lipstick was smudged. You wondered if there was some on your face. The way she smiled at you made your heart ache. “I think I’m in love with you.” You blurted out. Just as you realized what you had said, you put your hands to your mouth. “Sorry- that was...”
“You think or you know?” Clarissa asked, now back to her cocky self. “I know.”
#gxg#wlw#fem!reader#lesbian#rebecca welton#rebecca welton x reader#ted lasso#hannah waddingham#lady bellaston x reader#lady bellaston#tom jones pbs#junikicker
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Hii can u pls do a fic where pedri knew famous!reader first they had been friends for a little while and he started catching feelings for her but then gavi meets the reader and they start dating and ledri gets jealous. 💖
This took me longer than expected, I just don’t know how to portray jealousy🙈
warning: a little long,none ⚠️
It's a 03:09 o'clock on a Friday. You're sitting in a chair on set, scrolling through your phone and texting with your friends. You had just finished shooting some photos for a brand, it was a collaboration. The crew were looking at the photos, giving you complements on how photogenetic you are. You couldn't help but start blushing and laughing it off.
You started packing up all your stuff and heading out, till you got a text, from Pedri. Your history with Pedri was super sweet. Your families were close, and you had been neighbors pretty much ever since you could remember. He's your best friend, you had been through everything together. Life wouldn't be the same without him.
The message read "wyd rn"
Y/N: “nothings just heading home from a photoshoot, why what's up?"
Pedri: "there's a party, I have a plus one and I want you to come."
Y/N: “Pedri I would love to, but I'm exhausted, today was a lot"
Pedri: “Y/N I'm not taking no for an answer, and you know that, I’ll be at your place in 20* You knew he wasn't kidding; that’s just how he was. Accepting his offer, maybe this could be fun”.
At home your making food, partying on a completely empty stomach was not your thing. Looking through your cabinets. Pasta was the first thing you saw so, pasta it is.
Halfway through you heard the doorbell, going to open the door and letting Pedri in. he went to give you a warm hug. you both let go when it felt right. There was some strong eye contact, but you didn't think much of it. He entered to the through the living room, to the kitchen. You knew how much he loved your cooking, so you asked him if he would like to have some and of course he said yes.
After lunch, you both took the stairs up to your room. He was on your bed scrolling through his phone, while you were doing your makeup. You caught him glancing over through the mirror.
“What are you looking at?" vou asked.
"You look beautiful Y/n" he ignores your question.
"You don't look so bad yourself" you hit him back with the same energy.
After the makeup, you got dressed. Heading down to the hallway, getting dressed and heading out.
Pedri was the one driving like always. The car ride was fun, listening to music and talking. While on the way to the party, Pedri was telling you about a close friend of his and how he wanted to introduce you to him.
Inside the party You and Pedri started talking to people, and he introduced you to his friends, then you both headed your own ways, that's how it usually went down.
You went to get another drink, when you were approached from a guy, a handsome guy, like your type handsome. That doesn't happen often.
"A martini?" he prompted.
"Something wrong with a martini" you decided to flirt back.
"You're my type" he gets straight to the point.
"And you're mine" you teased back.
"Want to dance?" he suggested.
"With you, yes!" you flirt.
On the dance floor there was tension, a whole bunch of tension. You had fallen head over heals for this guy, so did he and you knew it.
The music was loud, and he was all over you, this man had no self-control. You didn't mind you were in love with this boy without even knowing his name. the night wasn't young anymore, you were tired, and it was about time to head home.
There were eyes on you all night ever since you started hanging with then nameless boy. Pedri later decided to show up later to announce it was time to leave. Getting all your stuff and walking behind him to the car. He started the engine and was about to drive, till a guy knocked on the glass window.
"Were you really going leave without giving me your number?" He said with a grin on his face
"Of course, not lover boy, I just wanted to see if you were going to chase after me" you stated, took his phone and typed in your number.
"Oh, and Pedri thanks for bringing her to the party" he said waving you off goodbye.
Half of the drive back home was silent, till Pedri decided to talk.
This wasn’t like him, he would normally be more talkative. You didn’t want to think anything of it as it could have been a misunderstanding on your behalf.
"That's Gavi by the way, my close friend, the one I told you about earlier" he states, no longer silence in the car.
"THAT'S GAVI, YOUR KIDDING" you shouted hysterically.
You couldn't believe it, maybe you were overreacting a bit, but that wasn't what you were expecting.
Plus, he's Pedri's what if he wasn't cool with it.
"It's fine Y/n if you like him you should go for it" he said not looking at you, but the road.
What was up with him.
He drove you home and you both said goodbye.
_______TIMESKIP______
You're at Gavi's apartment on the coach watching a movie, while Gavi was in the kitchen making breakfast. He came into the living room with the food and giving you a kiss on the forehead.
"Y/N there's a gathering with the team and we could bring our family, and you're coming with me" he demands.
"I would love to Gavi" you respond.
"Is Pedri coming" you asked. Truth is Pedri hasn’t reached out to you in weeks, he hasn’t even responded to you messenger. One time he even threw a fuss, and told you to go to your boyfriend, since you loved him so much and forgot about your friend.
"No, actually he said something came up" he said snapping you out of your thoughts .
This isn't the first time Pedri has done this, he's been distant the last couple of weeks. Ever since that night in the car and when you and Gavi made it official. You would invite him for night outs, movie nights or hang outs, but he didn't come to any of them. He declined multiple time, and the time he did come it, he wouldn't be himself. You wanted to tell Gavi, little did you know he already knew.
"Why didn't you tell me before Gavi, he's my best friend" you demanded an answer.
"You're a flirter Y/N, I thought you could see it. It was clear" he said embracing you in a hug.
"I'm such an idiot, om my god he liked me, and I went for his friend. He was jealous that's why he acted like that?" you rambled.
"He will get over it Y/N, just give him time, you can't choose who you love after all.
𝐖/𝐍: Hope you liked it😅
#gavi imagine#gavi x reader#gavi one shot#gavi fluff#pedri gonzalez#fc barca#football one shot#football fics#reblog post
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Reapers Fall 2: Ready to Comply
Summary: In one moment, a life ended. In the same moment, a life began. Pairings: Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley x Fem!Reader AN: I literally wrote the last half of this right before I went to bed. So, it's unedited, and possibly a little rushed? I don't think it's rushed but I also need sleep so what do I know. The Reapers Fall pt.1
☠
“Reaper! Reap- Grim! Grim answer me dammit!” Simon jerked to, sitting up in bed, his chest heaving as he called out your name. He made a face when there was no response, only silence. Oh. Oh.
I promise, I will always come back to you. I’ll see you soon.
Liar. You lied. You didn’t keep your promise. You’re a liar. And now he’s left all alone. Alone and in agony.
Today, we remember and honor the life of one of the greatest soldiers I’ve had the pleasure of ever working with and habing the privalege to call friend. She was one of the greats, and today, we leave a legend to rest, in the peace she deserves.
Simon scoffed as he got out of bed, making his way to the enclosed bathroom, splashing cold water on his face. He grabbed the sides of the sink, taking a few deep breaths before he looked up, looking at his reflection in the mirror. The longer he stared, the angrier he got, and in a fit of rage he punched the mirror, the mirror breaking into pieces, some shards cutting his hands, his knuckles bleeding as he his chest heaved, tears welling in his eyes.
☠
Flashes of moments. Flashes of moments you couldn’t place or understand. Something loud going off, things falling. The feeling of heat, and then nothing. Waking up to a blinding light, blurry faces standing over you, a prick in your arm and then a cold sensation spreading. Then it was burning, like your body was on fire from the inside. You couldn’t move as you screamed your voice hoarse. In and out of consciousness, all you felt was pain and confusion. And then one day, you opened your eyes, and there was no pain, and everything was clear. For just a moment, it was peaceful.
☠
Ghost walked into Price’s office, nodding at him once before Price motioned for him to sit down. Price leaned back in his seat, looking over at Ghost.
“How’ve you been?”
Ghost clenched his jaw, balling his hands into fists, clenching and unclenching them as he responded.
“M’fine.”
“Si-”
“The psychologist cleared me. I’m fine.”
“It’s okay if you’re not. We all under-”
“I am fine. People die all the time. You move on. I’ve moved on. I’m fine.”
Price sighed, nodding slightly.
“You’re cleared to return to active duty. Recruits are waiting for you. They’re yours for the day.”
Price leaned forward, grabbing one of the files from the corner of his desk, placing it in front of him.
“Try not to kill any of em’.”
Ghost nodded, standing and making his way to the door when Price called out for him, causing him to stop, looking over his shoulder at him.
“You’re right about people dying, but you’re still here Simon.”
“Simon is dead.”
☠
You looked up when the door to your cell opened, watching as two guards walked in, followed by him. You backed into the corner, bringing your knees up to your chest as the man stepped forward.
“Are you ready to comply?” “Please, no, I don’t want to.”
You moved closer to the wall, shaking your head, tears welling in your eyes.
“Please. Please, I’m tired.”
The batons the guards held lit up, casting a blue hue over your face, causing you to jerk your head down into your arms. “We will take you by force if you do not comply.”
“Please.”
“Comply.”
“Please.” With a nod, they moved forward, shocking you with the batons. You screamed as pain coursed through you, your body convulsing. You looked up as they grabbed you, their grip on your arms tightening when you tried to fight them off. You looked over at the man,tears streaming down your face.
“Please.” A needle was placed at your neck, your eyes rolling as they injected you with the knockout agent.
“In the end, they always comply.”
He looked down at you, huffing slightly before he looked up at the guards.
“Take her to the chair. It’s time to begin.”
☠
The chair. You hated the chair. The chair only brought pain and misery, but it was basically your home for what felt like weeks- if you were able to keep track. You were strapped down, your wrists and ankles bound as another strap went across your forehead, ensuring you couldn’t move in an attempt to resist. The moments you spent in the chair were long, agonizing hours. In passing, you heard one of the doctors mention electroconvulsive therapy, the sharp pulses in your brain growing the longer they did it. When they;d finally let you out of the chair, dumping you back in your cell, you couldn’t move. Practically in a catatonic state, you could only lay where they’d dumped you, unmoving as ghost pains from the therapy pulsed through you. On the days you weren’t in the chair, you were on a table, strapped down with different wires and iv’s attached to you. Those days, you missed the chair.
☠
Guards were placed around the room, two more entering with him- your handler. You watched from your peripherals as he walked closer to you, walking around you.
“Status report.”
“The electroconvulsive therapy has done well. She is susceptible to the orders we’ve given. She has exceeded in all of her training. She is ready.”
He nodded as he came to a stop in front of you, looking down at you.
“Just for good measure, hit her one more time.”
A stinging pain spread throughout your head as your handler spoke, but it was just muted background noise as you began to convulse from the pain. Eventually it stopped, and as you slowly began to stop convulsing, your handler came to a stop in front of you, placing his hands on the metal cuffs keeping you in place.
“Are you ready to comply?”
The mouth guard stopped you from speaking, and the strap across your forehead kept you from moving your head. But he wasn’t expecting an answer, not really, not after they’d broken you and molded you into their perfect, obedient little soldier. He shot you a grin before he turned, looking over at the head guard assigned to keep you in line.
“Get her prepped. The chopper leaves in thirty minutes.”
“Yes sir.”
He left, the two guards he entered with following after him as the lead guard moved to stand in front of you, a smirk on his face.
“Well, let’s get you prepped.”
☠
The first mission Ghost was assigned to after your death, he kept looking over his shoulder for you. He was glad he was alone, because after he’d switched the comms off, he was talking to you. Or at least, the ghost of you. The image he’d created felt off, but in the end it was still you, and he felt a small semblance of peace. Now, a year after you’d died, he was going with the motions, doing mission after mission without much care for his own safety. Currently, he was on a mission with the rest of 141, what was meant to be a simple catch and grab turned into an all out firefight that seemed to never end. Somehow, they’d managed to get separated from one another, the onslaught of enemies never ending when there was a lull. The shooting had stopped, and there were no more explosions.
“Sound off.”
One by one, they each reported in, stating their status and location when Gaz’s voice broke through.
“Vans incoming, southside!”
Ghost peered over the ledge, watching as three armored vans drove down the road, only for the van in the middle to turn and stop in the middle of the square.
“V’got eyes.”
“Steady. We don’t know what they’re doing.”
“Copy.”
Ghost steadied his rifle, keeping his eyes locked on the vans when the doors opened.
“We’ve got movement.”
Ghost looked through his scope, watching as a group of at least ten got out of the vans when the back doors to the middle van flung open, a person jumping out. They were dressed in all black, a mask covering the lower part of their face, goggles that were also blacked out covering their eyes. Ghost watched as one of the men walked towards the person, handing them what looked to be a grenade launcher, saying something to them. Ghost watched as they stepped forward, lifting their weapon and aiming at one of the buildings Soap and Price had reported being in.
“Incoming!”
“Move, move, move!”
Ghost watched as they shot a series of grenades, and once the launcher was empty they dropped it, grabbing the weapon the smaller man behind them handed them.
“Cap, what’s the plan?”
“We need to fall back. We’re outgunned and outnumbered.”
Like a button had been pressed, the group that was still standing in front of the vans moved forward, taking aim and shooting. Ghost watched as the person dressed in black aimed, shooting off rounds with an accuracy that puzzled him. They’d come mid fight, and seemingly knew where everyone was currently hiding out at, save for himself.
“Cap?”
“Take em out! We need to take out however many we can so we can retreat safely.”
“With pleasure.”
Ghost started to shoot, the men dropping like flies before they dispersed, taking cover, except for the person in black. They continued to walk forward, the person following them having ducked for cover some time ago. Ghost jumped slightly when a shot landed next to him, and when he looked around he saw the person in black aiming at him. They started to shoot, causing him to take cover. Once the shooting had stopped he slowly peered over the ledge, only to see the person was gone, the square seemingly empty of everyone.
“Anyone got eyes?”
“Negative.”
“Alright, evac is eight minutes out. We hold our ground until they get here then we haul ass, clear?”
“Copy.”
“Ghost, take out as many as you can and then make your way to us.”
“Copy.”
He peered over the ledge, aiming his rifle, looking for any signs of movement. After double checking he lowered his rifle, keeping it close to him as he slowly started to make his way off the balcony and back inside the room.
“Moving.”
He started to make his way down the stairs, keeping an ear out for any sounds of movement. Once he was on the ground floor he kept low, occasionally checking to make sure it was clear before he’d move.
“Heading out now.”
He had just entered the hall where the back door was when it opened, a flash grenade being thrown in. blinded, he stumbled into the wall, huffing when something slammed into him, forcing him to the floor. He’d dropped his rifle, and before he could attempt to reach for it, hands were wrapping around his throat, squeezing. His eyes widened as his vision returned, his gaze landing on the black goggles that looked like pits.
“Lt- come- status.”
Shaking his head, he fought back, managing to knock the person off him. They went back and forth, the person managing to meet his hits with just as much force as his own, even though they were smaller than him. The longer the fight went on, the angrier Ghost became. They’d already managed to cut his arm, blood dripping down his sleeve, seeping into his glove, causing his fingers to become slick. He was starting to become tired, but it seemed like the person in front of him was only getting started. He needed to get them out in the open, with hopes that one of the others could take a shot. Thinking fast, Ghost ran forward, tackling them, causing them both to crash through the window, landing in broken glass as they rolled out into the streets.
“Lt town’s clear. Evac hit some trouble, they're ten minutes out.”
Huffing, he slowly stood, keeping a glaring gaze on the person that continued to lay on the ground.
“Copy.”
Slowly, he made his way to the person, harshly kicking their side. When there was no response, he started to search them, turning them onto their back. His eyes widening slightly when he saw their goggles had fallen off. He continued to search them, and when he glanced up to make sure they were still out he froze. Their eyes were open, but it was as if they were looking through him, their eyes empty, void of any emotion. Within seconds they’d managed to wrap their legs around him, flipping him onto the ground as they stood, preparing to fight. Ghost went to get up when they ran forward, tackling him back to the ground. The two fought once more, until Ghost managed to land a kick to their face, forcing them back as they fell. Ghost’s chest heaved as he stood, glaring at them when he saw their mask had fallen off.
“Lt, I’ve got a clear shot!”
He watched them stand, slowly turning towards them. When they looked up at him, his heart stopped as his blood ran cold.
No.
No.
There was no way, it was impossible. You, you were dead. You are dead. But if you’re dead, then how are you here, standing in front of him? You were looking right at him, but there wasn’t an ounce of recognition on your face, your eyes didn't hold the warm, welcoming feeling they used to. Instead they were cold, cold and dull.
“Lt!”
Shaking his head, he practically screamed into the comms.
“No! Don’t shoot! Don’t shoot! It’s- It’s Grim.”
He could hardly get your name out, not after a year of refusing to say your name, always calling you by your callsign or the nickname he’d given you. But saying your name? It felt dirty, wrong. He watched as you titled your head to the side, slightly making a face.
“Who the hell is that?”
The others were screaming in his ear, but it was as if he was underwater, his only focus being on you. You, who was dead for a year, now standing in front of him not knowing who you were. Or for that matter, who he was. Frozen, he didn’t register the small device that rolled between you both, only snapping out of it when smoke filled the area. Coughing, he tried to wave the smoke out of his way, and through the smoky haze he could just barely make out your figure moving away from him. He yelled your name, his voice growing hoarse as he followed after you. Once the smoke cleared, he looked around, but there was no sign of you. The vans were gone from the street, and you, you were gone.
“Lt?”
Turning, he saw Soap and the others making their way to him. Shaking his head, he muttered your name, turning back towards the road the vans had come from.
“She’s alive. She was right here.”
He turned back towards the others, clenching his jaw as he looked at them.
“She’s alive and I’m getting her back.”
No matter what, he’d get you back. For a year, Ghost went with the motions, going from one mission to the next. Now, he had a purpose. Simon had a purpose. You.
Reaper’s Fall Tags:
@derpoonsunbloom
@daryldixonh0e
Everything Tags:
@jedi-dreea
@scarlett-witchhh
@sammysgirl1997
@cevans-winchester
@rafecameronswhore
@jennmurawski13-writes
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t r o u b l e // Chapter Nine
A peaky blinders modern au balletcore story
Chapter List
Sonya
I felt like such a child fleeing from them like that but I couldn't stand to be in that room, having Tommy look at me with such disgust, such judgement the way that he was. I could feel the blame he placed on me then, as if he thought that the hit on Michael could be a direct result of something I'd told Freddie. But if Tommy had bothered to ask he'd know I hadn't told Freddie a thing about my family. That I'd been doing all I could to forget about my brothers whilst it seemed they had forgotten about me.
I burst through the study doors making the two lads who were loitering just outside jump with a start. I couldn't bare to look at them but I did because they'd startled me too and Id frozen like a rabbit in the headlights, my eyes full of tears, my view of them blurred. I covered my mouth with the back of my hand trying to stifle a sob, gasping with the hurt I couldn't contain, so humilated to have them witness my frankly tragic display. But I couldnt help it, I'd always been that kind of girl. The fragile one, the kind if girl who couldn't control her wild emotions, the kind of girl who's emotions controlled her.
I was shaking as I raised my other hand to my mouth, clutching the hand which already smothered my sobs, holding onto it tightly desperately.
For a second the three of us stood frozen, Isaiah watching me with a kind of familiarity, a pity in his eyes as they rested on my distraught flush. The glowing pain in my dark eyes as they darted between him and Bonnie. Bonnie watching me too, his expression hard to read, tranquil as ever and yet, the slightest tug on his brow, his eyes sorry too, something which looked like concern gathering like a shadow in his greenish eyes.
I stood there, frozen, chest rising and falling eratic and ragged. And then just like that I was gone. Like a doe fleeing the road. And fleeing was exactly what I was doing.
I ran down the hallway, feet light and quick on the stairs as I fled to the only place I thought I stood a chance and peace. The only place I really knew how to get to in that big house which my brothers kept calling home but which felt far from it to me.
I darted down through the door at the bottom of the stairs, under an archway and across a smaller room, the marble floor cool through my socks as I ran, barely skimming the floor. So light on my feet. Unaware that I was being followed because the lad ib pursuit was just as nimble as me.
When I slipped through that little door into the damp little tunnel which led out into the meadow, far across the grounds of the Shelby Mannor, I felt the damp from the cold stone floor soaking into my socks, felt the strange weight of the water soaking into the thick fluff. But I didnt care about the water, didn't care if I was ruining Sylvie's socks because my heart was pounding and aching in my chest and my mind was shaken with sorrow. With the hurt of those awful things Tommy had said to me.
Why the fucks he with you eh? What other reason could he have for getting so close to you?
Tommys cruel words played over and over in my head and every time I remembered the vitriol with which he'd slung them across the room at me another choked sob wracked through my body. By the time I reached the meadow and the lake I was breathless and I could barely manage to carry myself to the waters edge before I crumbled and collapsed in the grass, holding myself, legs in a w on the ground like a little girl, arms wrapped around my body, holding my shoulders as I bowed my head and sobbed my heart out on the floor. The tears relentless, my crying disturbing the peace and quiet. So dramatic, my grief ricochetting off the trunks of near by trees and bouncing back to me like a mirror.
I didn't realise I was breaking more than my own heart. That someone was watching me and the sight of me like that, so distraught, was making them think they might start crying too. At least I didn't until they sat themsleves down beside me in the grass, reached out carefully for one of my hands and let their fingers brush delicately over my trembling fingers.
"Y'know lass if you keep this up you're gonna have me cryin an all," said Bonnie softly, his eyes soft but still aglow with that teasing humour, his smile small but still cheeky as he withdrew his hand from mine. The gesture had only been intended to get my attention but as he sat back up and pulled away from me his eyes lingered on my fingertips and then on my sorry expression.
"Tommy make you follow me?" I sniffled wiping at my eyes with the palm of my hands, trying to hide myself behind them so that he couldn't see the mess I'd made of myself. I wasn't a pretty crier, my eyes went red too quickly, swollen and sore looking, my whole expression puffy and childish when the waterworks turned on.
"Nah lass," he said with half a lass, looking up and away from me then with that lingering amused half smile on his open mouth.
"Thats not true," I said still sniffling, wincing at the pain of trying to swallow down a more violent sob. Every now and then one snook up on me like a hiccup sharp and sudden so that it stung my throat and left me feeling bruised. "Tommys got you spying on me or somethin now right... Youre not allowed let me out your sight or something I don't know..." I trailed off, cut off ultimately by another embarrassing sob. But Bonnie only frowned, he seemed to be thinking carefully about what he said, seemed much more pensive than he had when we had first met earlier that morning.
"Its true that he asked me to protect you.." he said smirking at me and rolling his eyes as if me and him were in on some joke I'd forgotten, his smile almost drawing one from me. "But it ain't true thats the reason I followed you out here..."
Perhaps if I hadn't been feeling so sorry for myself I'd have matched his smirk with one of my own. As it happened however I just kept sniffling and sobbing, trying to catch my breath and hold it together, completely unable to control my emotions and my tears.
"Then why did you?" I asked a little confused as to why he was sitting down in the grass opposite me, one knee bent, his arms crossed over it as he watched me in all my heartbroken tradgedy.
"Cause," he shrugged, "You're cryin your eyes out lass, didn't want you contaminating me lake with all that salt water... S'bad for the ecosystem see.." he said with another smirk, his eyes sparkling with that gentle teasing. His smile growing with his confidence when I couldn't help but smile at his little joke, biting back a sob which shook my spine, blushing through the smile I tried to hide.
"Hmm," he said stroking his chin as he pretended to study me, "thats a small improvement but I'm still worried about them tears yknow..." he said with a little chuckle when I bit back a giggle that mixed with my crying and left me uncertain as to why exactly I was shaking.
"Sorry," I said then, trying to force a wider smile, remembering who I was, remembering that Shelby girls didn't reveal themselves like this, didn't let strangers know them to be vulnerable the way I was doing just then.
"Don't say sorry to me lass, its the Cattails you should be worryin about," he said still grinning, still trying to encourage a smile from me too as he shifted where he sat and wrapped his arms around his knees. He was watching me. Even when we fell into silence, just me sniffling and wiping at my tears, him sitting still and quiet, he carried on so that I felt studied, my skin prickling under his gaze. Struggling to ignore him.
"Why'd they all call yous Fen?" he asked after a minute or two of not quite awkward silence.
"What?" I frowned uncertain as to why he was trying to make conversation with me, why he was asking a thing like that instead of asking me what was wrong or why I insisted on being such an unpleasant snob around him. He had no reason to smile at me or talk to me this way, I'd given him no reason at all to be nice.
"The both of yous like, ain't it weird to be called the same thing like that?"
"Well I don't know they just always have since we were little like... Well not always I guess," I said pressing the ball of my palms to my eye sockets trying to gather the last of my tears though I knew they weren't really going to be the last.
"Must be funny being twins an havin to share everythin right down to your own name..."
"We don't share everything," I lied knowing he was almost right, since we were young we'd always shared most things, our clothes getting confused in the wash, our bed when we were still poor and living on watery lane, our dream of becoming a ballet dancer, so many rolls throughout school because the director enjoyed being able to swap us in and out from scene to scene. Enjoyed not having to worry that the understudy would change the aesthetic of their vision.
"Don't do that to your eyes darlin," he said then, reaching forward to me, taking my wrist in his hand and tugging it gently from my eye. If I'd put up a fight, even just a small protest, I was sure he'd have let go and left me to it. But I didn't because I knew he was right. "Just makes em more swollen, you need some cold water on em, draw the red out... I mean don't get me wrong, you don't need to do anythin," he said speaking quieter then, his own cheeks a pale shade of pink as he averted his gaze, chewed his cheek, all the arrogance I thought I'd recognised in him, all those Blinder traits vanished when he suddenly receded and mumbled, "y'still look dead pretty either way..."
I didn't know what to say to him then, my own smile kind of shy, kind of awkward as a blush blossomed on my cheeks too. This time when I sniffled I was smiling through the tears and I felt a little less like I was sitting stranded in the Birmingham countryside completely on my own.
"Its cause we got lost in the fens when we were little girls," I said, "we were still travelling then... y'know before our mam died... Think John was meant to be lookin after us and he lost us,"
"In the Fens?" Bonnies eyes lit up, his smile tickling his features, making me smile too. He'd probably been down that way many times before with his own family, probably knew those grassy marshes, the endless expanse of flat dry ground in the summer, so suddenly rich and dense, swampy with the first fall of rain, all the little becks and drainage streams trailing off into the wash. As a little girl those fields of long grass, with all its little creatures, all those miles to explore, had been such an adventure. Bonnie probably had similar memories. For all that shit I'd thrown at Tommy he was right, me and Bonnie would have lived similar lives up to the point of my mothers suicide.
"I don't remember it," I said, "but me an Fen didn't know we were lost, we were having a lovely time playin in the marshes," I said letting out another little laugh which Bonnie echoed. He held his shins with his hands as he leant in to listen to me and I realised that we both must have looked like to children sitting there in the grass. "By the time they found us again we were soaked to the bone and freezin, covered in mud and bits of pond weed stuff, came down with a nasty fever a few days later, mam was livid, I think John got into a lot of trouble for it..."
He grinned, chuckling away, telling me he remembered getting into similar trouble when he was a wain.
"Don't really remember me mam, but I remember the trouble me sisters used to get for letting me off on me own when we were out to play," and then as if a distant memory, one he'd almost forgotten, had just washed over him like a wave he laughed, his grin lingering as he looked up at the sky and then into the distance somewhere over my shoulder. "There was this one time actually, we were travelling along down the east coast of scotland, they let me off on me own at the beach, you know one of those lovelyns where the forest comes right down to the tide line... They let me off on me ones and I built a raft, tied all these bits of drift wood and branches together with kite string and then tried sailing it... I was half way out to see before anyone realised what I'd done and me dad had to swim out to get me cause.." he trailed off, his own amusement overtaking him for a moment, his eyes really bright when he laughed, "cause I couldn't fuckin swim," he said sniggering into his sleeve, his laugh making me laugh too, just as shyly, hiding my smile in the crook of my elbow as I tried to hide away. It felt strange that he could have changed my demenour so quickly, i didnt like that I appeared so easily moved then.
"Think my mam would have killed our John if me an Sylvie had ever done something like that," I said with a lingering smile trying to imagine him as a little boy, sailing out to sea. Bonnie just chuckled, this fond little smile lingering on his lips when he shrugged his shoulders.
"Aye," he smirked, "think she probably did half kill our Esme for it," he said, "fuckin stupid kid though I was, bet yous two never did anythin that daft..." he was blushing again, only slight, his eyes taking on that dark, pensive shadow again when he met my gaze. I was blushing too, I didn't know what to say to him. But the longer we lingered in that comfortable quiet, those small smiles on our lips, the worse I felt for the hostility I'd shown him all day. Because it wasn't him I'd been wanting to hurt with all my vitriol and childish remarks. It had been my brother. Probably everyone knew that except Bonnie.
"You know you don't have to stay out here waitin on me," I said quietly, picking at pieces of grass, snapping the thin green stems, looking down at my feet, "I know Tommys got you followin me round like I need babysittin an all but I'm fine out here on my own..." I said awkwardly.
Still Bonnie just leant back in the grass on his elbows, legs stretched out in front of him as he relaxed, laidback grin, his eyes scanning the sky, one dark curl falling across his forehead. He really did look out of place then in his jeans and that bright blue adidas jacket, the polo tshirt he wore tucked into his waistband a little baggy, a little too 80s to be hanging round the grounds of a country estate with a forlorn ballerina in her white tights and her sisters slipper socks.
"Don't take this the wrong way darlin but, you're still cryin... Don't really seem fine on your own to me..."
"Didn't my big brother warn you, I'm always crying," I said sulkily, making him chuckle with my pouted lip and still teary eyes, my lashes lined with tears that were waiting to fall.
"That true?" he asked still smiling, still looking at me from under his lashes like he already knew me. Like he wanted to know me better.
I bit back a shy little smirk.
"Uhuh... I know," i rolled my eyes, a little melodramatic, "I'm a real cliche..." but Bonnie just smirked and shook his head.
"Well thats the saddest thing I ever heard," he said with a small shrug, his eyes flickering over me again, meeting mine and holding my gaze until I couldn't hold his anymore, averting my eyes to my hands, wiping another tear on the back of my hands.
"Its not that sad," I said with a self concious shrug, receding into myself and away from him. I couldn't tell if he was flirting with me or not. It didn't feel like I was being charmed, didn't feel like he was using well practiced moves and lines to chip away at me. He wasn't exactly like any of the lads I was used to, the actors I'd gone to school with. Those competitive boys with famous surnames, old money parents who'd taught them exactly what to say and to who and when.
Everything Bonnie had said and done so far that morning had seemed so natural, a little clumsy a little shy, but natural. I didn't feel like he was acting, didn't feel like I needed to put on an act for him.
And yet I knew that this was exactly what made me the weak link in the family, the least Shelby of us all. It had hurt to hear Tommy say it outloud, for him to call me naive in front of Sylvie, within earshot of Bonnie and Isaiah, but it had hurt because it was true. Bonnie was proving that to me now because all he'd done was follow me outside, show me a little smile when I was crying, and there I was opening slowly like a shy flower in the evening sun. A little slither of dusk and I was looking at him with my most honest eyes.
"Its not sad," I said it again, sucking my cheek in and then cracking a self aware half smile, "If you cry over nothing and everything all the time no one can ever really tell when you're genuinely upset, maybe I'm just leaning into drama..."
"Yeah? What about now, are you leanin into drama or is this just now, genuine?"
I bit my lip, a little caught out because I'd been expecting my words to wash water off a ducks back the way that kind of talk usually did. Usually people rolled their eyes, called me aloof behind my back, told me I was 'mysterious' to my face. But Bonnie, despite his teasing smile, seemed to want a real answer. So I gave him one.
"I'm fine Bonnie Gold," I said my eyes meeting his, his name foreign on my tongue as my lips curved around the syllables for the first time, "Its just my brother see, I don't know if you know this about him but..." I trailed off, forcing a smile, one which probably looked far more sorry than it was supposed to when tears still gleamed in my eyes, "but he's a little bit of a cunt..."
He laughed then, a real laugh. I'd shocked him with my harsh words and he was, for a second, speechless.
His grin lingered as he looked away and when he looked back at me he was still laughing so that the longer it went on, his beaming smile poking dimples in his rosy cheeks, the more self concious I became, feeling my own cheeks heat up. An awkward smile on my lips.
"What?"
"Nothing, its nothing," he chuckled settling down though the grin still lingered and when he looked me up and down I got the feeling he was still trying to work me out. "Just don't sound right thats all, you sayin a word like that with your pretty little accent..."
My smile grew, awkward and shy. His green eyes still watched me but I couldn't bring myself to hold his gaze for very long.
"I don't have a pretty little accent," I frowned, "are you callin me a fuckin toff?" I narrowed my eyes at him, suddenly so aware of my annunciation. Cheeks burning, temper prickling though I couldn't wipe the smile off my face.
"Nah," he chuckled, "certainly don't sound like your brothers though do you lass..." he said giggling somewhat pleased with himself when my frown etched deeper into my brow and he realised that his teasing was really winding me up. "See if you don't wanna be around that cunt of a brother today..." he started, running his hand through his messy curls, turning away from me to look out at the grounds, "you could come to my place yknow, lay low stay out the way whilst they uh... Hash it all out?"
I chewed my cheek, looking at him a little uncertain. Tommy trusted him so I could trust him. And he was right, I didn't want to see my cunt of a brother again, not just for the rest of the day but for the rest of the week if at all possible.
"And why would you want to invite someone like me back to your place?" I asked still picking at grass stems, remebering again all those disparaging things I'd said about travellers to Tommy in front of Bonnie.
"Why wouldn't I?"
"Well what about all that shit I said earlier for a start..." i chewed my cheek looking guilty.
"Ohhh" he breathed pursing his lips together holding back his smile for a moment, "right yeah that... For a start lass you're pretty transparent and I know you didn't really mean any of em..." he said tilting his head looking at me from under dark lashes, his eyes dark and marbled and still so understanding, and then he smirked and shrugged his shoulders, "and for seconds, this just gives you more time to say you're sorry."
And with that he jumped up and held his hand out to help me, the wink he shot me leaving me speechless and burning with a blush.
#Trouble#peaky blinders imagines#Bonnie gold#Tommy shelby sister!#tommy shelby modern au#peaky blinders modern au#peaky blinders fanfiction#peaky blinders imagine#Alfie Solomons modern au#peaky blinders x sister!reader#peaky blinders x oc
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