#abuser logic

[arcenciel-par-une-larme]

SJW: Hi! Welcome to my tolerant and inclusive space, where all are welcome and cherished. Oh, by the way! If you like Tolkien and DnD, you're a Nazi and you deserve to be hated and abused. If you don't support every neopronoun and xenogender under the sun, you're a Nazi and you deserve to be hated and abused. If you won't bake a cake for a same-sex wedding, you're a Nazi and you deserve to be hated and abused. If you smirk in a way I don't like, you're a Nazi and you deserve to be hated and abused. If you dislike postmodern architecture and prefer classicism, you're a Nazi and you deserve to be hated and abused. If you're Christian, and especially if you preach the gospel to Jewish people, you're a Nazi and you deserve to be hated and abused -- but also, if you support Israel's right to exist, you're a Nazi and you deserve to be hated and abused. If you won't let your 8yo kid transition, you're a Nazi and you deserve to be hated and abused. If you think narcissistic abuse is real and speak out against it, you're a Nazi and you deserve to be hated and abused. If you love and teach classical music to students of colour, you're a Nazi and you deserve to be hated and abused. If you draw a bunch of fictional anthropomorphic minerals one micro-shade brighter or 10lb lighter than canon, you're a Nazi and you deserve to be hated and abused. If you voted for Trump, you're Hitler incarnate, you think women deserve no rights, and I wish you and your entire family would die in a fire. And most importantly, if you support JK Rowling, you're an Ultra-Nazi piece of excrement and I vow to find out where you live and come there and bash you over the head with a chair. XOXO ^_^

Rational people: Uhhh...maybe you could try calming down a bit? Maybe toning down the psychopathy would be good for you?

SJW: HELP! HEEELP!!! I'm being oppressed! They're condemning me just for existing as a queer neurodivergent person! They're denying my humanity!! PROJECT 2025!! HANDMAID'S TALE!! TEN STAGES OF GENOCIDE!!!

[rudolphsb9]

TODAY ON "JILTED LOVER OR ABUSIVE FATHER??"

Man asks woman actively not speaking to him why she is not speaking to him

[theconcealedweapon]

Sometimes, when you tell the truth, you'll offend people. Some people think this means that if they're offending people, they must be telling the truth.

Sometimes, when you do what's best for your children, they'll hate you for it. Some people think this means that if their children hate them, they must be doing what's best for their children.

Sometimes, in order to win a chess game, you have to sacrifice your queen. People following this logic would believe that if their queen gets captured, that means they're definitely going to win. They'll just put their queen where it can be captured as soon as possible and ignore anyone who tells them that it's the stupidest blunder they've ever seen.

[holdmymetaphor]

okay heres some things about houses childhood i think about

theres clearly a few dynamics here

-he hates his father, resents the abuse, recognizes that bad things were done to him

-probably when he was very young, he didnt understand why bad things happened to him, was not intentionally A Bad Kid

-because he surmised his dad was not his dad at 12 i assume the abuse started from a young age.

-house mentions ice baths and sleeping outside, but he also mentions his father not speaking to him for months at a time, which is interesting to me. when house tries to qualify the severity of abuse to eve he says "not as bad as your [trauma] if how your acting about it shows how bad it is." which to me is pretty noncommittal. was he doing that bc he was still kind of lying, trying to get info out of her? if not, it seems like house is actually unsure of how to qualify his own abuse, which would lead me to believe it was largely emotional and verbal. although i suspect that his father did physically abuse him at times, to me this exchange implies that house thinks the ice baths and sleeping outside were the worse of it (interestingly both acting on his whole body and ability to regulate temperature)

-at some point he acts out intentionally, instead of unintentionally, bc his father is Wrong and shouldnt be abusing house in these ways(the fact that the thing he wanted to hear from his father was "you were right, you did the right thing" 😭😭)

-this leads to worse and more cruel punishments, which house both detests and wants to avoid repeating. furthering his resentment, but reinforcing his fathers authority

- despite his knowledge that his father is wrong, his dad claims to do these acts out of love, to teach dicipline, to toughen him up. (in this way his struggle with god is really an allegory of his father: is it better he hates me (i deserve pain) or loves me (i dont deserve pain) when he does awful things to me? or is it better for him to not exist at all (things just happen, there is no deserving)?

-in my perspective, especially as house got older, into his teens, he was actually probably really "well behaved" finally smart enough to fake social cues and swallow his pride so that his father wouldnt hit him or what have you (which is why he regresses to a child often as an adult, because he was not allowed those things)

its interesting to me, to see how all of houses character is shaped around the shadow of his father. the parts where he is similar: rigid, principled, yell-y, and where he is intentionally different: encourages independent thinking, respects challenges to his authority (only when he has authority lmao that all falls apart when people take his power(read:agency) away, his biggest trigger)

and none of this even gets into his mother, blythe (a word which means both happiness and bland disintrest) which is a whole nother can of worms. the fact that at the funeral she said that "the war was over" (which implied that no matter how much house actually listened to his father, there was still a part of him that couldnt help but to point out the logical issues, and therefore continued abuse)

lastlly, she had said that john loved him. which i think house believes to be true. especially when he tries to talk to his dead father in season 6, he says "i think i focus on the wrong things," implying that he did want to find some peace with that relationship, and that he wanted his fathers love, despite it being illogical, painful and confusing.

that he was willing to look past the abuse was shocking to me, because house is right his father shouldnt of abused him. but it was coming from a place of love, however ill concieved.

this is as close as we get to house praying to god. to admit that the suffering of life cannot be defied or denied, and grasp for the love nestled in between all the pain, however flawed, wrong, or illogical.

in a lot of ways, his story is so much about houses struggle with the body, its agency, its disability, its doom. he literally becomes a doctor to grasp with this ideologically (at times paradoxically) instead of physics because his question isnt really about existance in general

its about why he exists in the broken, painful way he does. and at the end of it, he sets down his need for an answer, righteousness, and admits that despite it all, his body cant help but love. and that love is the death of him. the end of his suffering.

[slocumjoe]

Honestly, of all the companions, I think if you wanted to take your SS down a gritty, horror route in the sense that they're kind of an evil bastard, Danse is the easiest person to completely fuck up because his morals are entirely dependent on who he respects. Preston would never compromise his values. Nick wouldn't. All the other companions are so stalwart in their views that it would take some MEGA fucked shit to get them to change, and most of them, they wouldn't just roll over.

Danse absolutely would as long as you lined your goals close enough to his, earned his trust and admiration, got some authority or emotional leverage, and then started the veer-off slowly. If SS was a smooth talker who liked people insecure and codependent on them, Danse would be hanging off their leg. This is all post BB but even prior, he's not as rigid in his values as he wants to be. Danse seeks community and justice, he wants to be a good person and do right. If he's told that means eradicating mutants and that he'll have family while doing so—see what I mean? All it would take is one person who climbs farther than he ever could on that righteous ladder, who is then kind enough to spare him—and then icy enough to use that guilt and gratitude as bargaining, likely without Danse even realizing it.

What I'm saying is that Danse could easily be the victim of a psychological thriller and have his brain chopped and screwed in ways previously unknown to man

[momentomori24]

This may just be me, but I think if you ship a canonically very abusive, manipulative and toxic relationship, you don't get to judge or call anyone degenerates for their own fucked up ships, actually.

[sammygender]

not indirecting anyone but i keep seeing the take that sam has power over dean because dean is so attached to and dependent on him. like it’s everywhere. and its just soooo fundamentally flawed. that is not how anything works. not to sound like a broken record but that type of dynamic (where one partner, the aggressor, views themselves as in fact controlled/dictated by the whims of the other) is actually very standard in an abusive relationship…

whether or not sam has ‘power’ over dean in this way is functionally irrelevant because his ‘power’ extends to his ability to somehow, what, psychically manipulate dean into doing what he wants?? whereas dean’s ‘power’ over sam is making sure sam adheres to exactly what he’s decided sam should do and punishing him if he doesnt do that, and deciding he has ultimate control over sam’s own decisions about his life (see main plot events of s4, 5, 6, 8, 9, 10, so on and so forth…).

[arcenciel-par-une-larme]

Oh! So now, cancel culture is not a "right-wing conspiracy" anymore! Now it's happening, and it's a "GOOD THING ACKCHUALLY"!

Yeah, OP, go and spout your self-righteous balderdash to Zamii or to the Covingtongate kids if ya dare. Or any of the other cases you will find here.

Or better yet, how about I consider the fact that I found the original post reblogged, without any addition or nuance, from someone whom I consider a bible-believing sister in Christ. And this is already the second time that this sort of thing has happened within the past fortnight.

You know, by the way, fellas, that the Lord does not look favourably upon slander of the brethren? In other words, repent.

[theconcealedweapon]

People who want to legalize child marriage and who want a child to be forced to give birth to a rapist's baby believe that the LGBT community are groomers.

People who hit their children, who berate their children for bad grades, who gaslight their children, and who constantly threaten their children with hell believe that teaching about white privilege is child abuse.

They're not trying to protect the well being of children. They're trying to protect their power over children. That's the only way that their beliefs are consistent.

[messiahzzz]

this informational piece is directed to the gale fandom specifically:

grooming is a tactic where someone methodically builds a trusting relationship with a child or young adult, their family, and community to manipulate, coerce, or force the child or young adult to engage in sexual activities.

1. Choosing a victim - The predator often chooses a child who is obviously vulnerable. Children who are withdrawn, low on confidence, emotionally deprived and with less parental supervision are particularly at risk.

2. Building access & trust - Sexual abuse often begins with friendship. The abuser can also take on other roles such as a romantic partner, a mentor, a caregiver or an authority figure. The abuser spends time in getting to know the victim's likes, dislikes and habits and pretending to share common interests. The perpetrator establishes trust with the child by making them feel special, sometimes through gifts or excessive compliments and attention. This is especially dangerous for vulnerable children who do not experience attention in their daily lives. In the trust development stage, offenders aim to develop a trusting friendship or relationship with their victim. This can involve several tactics, including:

a) praising the child for their maturity and intelligence;

b) encouraging the child to disclose personal information;

c) syncing their language with that of the child;

d) highlighting mutuality (i.e., similar interests, attitudes and behaviors between the offender and child); and finally,

e) portraying themselves as being trustworthy and nice.

3. Filling a need with gifts & favors - Giving the victim small gifts and favours is a strategy used by perpetrators to make the child feel indebted. Trust is further built by sharing intimate life details, going on special outings and giving the child access to things they normally wouldn’t get. Once the offender has identified a child’s needs, they will try to be the “hero” to the child who gives them what they desire. Examples include gifts, extra attention, or affection. This causes the child to see them as highly important and even idolized. They won’t want to upset them in risk of not getting the void in their life fulfilled.

4. Isolating - The groomer actively tries to isolate the child from people who may be watchful or helpful. This kind of isolation creates deeper connection & dependency. The offender also exhibits exemplary behaviour before parents of the victim & manipulates them into trusting the relationship. They will use this trust to create situations in which they are alone with the child. Time spent alone also reinforces the ��special connection” the child feels they have with the offender. This “special connection” is further reinforced when the offender convinces the child that they love and appreciate them more than anyone else.

5. Initiating sexual contact - With the power over the child victim established through emotional connection coercion or one of the other tactics, the perpetrator may eventually initiate physical contact with the victim. It may begin with touching that is not overtly sexual (though a predator may find it sexually gratifying) and that may appear to be casual (arm around the shoulder, pat on the knee, etc.). Gradually, the perpetrator may introduce more sexualized touching. By breaking down inhibitions and desensitizing the child, the perpetrator can begin overtly touching the child. At this stage, the offender will exploit a child’s natural curiosity through physical touch and excitement. They will begin to teach the child sexual preferences and manipulate what the child responds to. The child begins to see themselves as a sexual being prematurely and the relationship with the offender now takes on a sexual term.

6. Post-abuse maintenance - The goal of the final stage is to ensure the child remains trapped in the cycle of abuse and loyal to the abuser, by either reinforcing and maintaining trust in order to prevent disclosure, or by explicitly threatening or blackmailing the child or their loved ones. This can also be reinforced and maintained by, for instance, giving the child affection, praise or encouragement for one’s actions.

[n3felibata]

"Stella is called an abusive parent for letting Via grow up in a toxic environment but Stolas isn't for letting her grow up in the same one!"

Maybe cause Stella is the reason that the household is abusive whereas Stolas has tried to pacify her and keep the abuse a secret from Via?

[theladyofrosewater]

Okay I know it's a semi-popular headcanon/storybeat that Michael would have gotten in HUGE legal trouble for the whole bite of '83 thing but honestly I think it'd be interesting to see if the business itself got into legal trouble, specifically Henry since in the novel trilogy it's established that he makes the bots.

Like obviously Michael would still get sent to juvie or something but it's only for a short while since maybe William got his lawyer to place the most blame on Henry and resulted in either Henry going to jail for a while or having him sell his half of the business to deal with the legal fees. Fredbear's officially closes down and William takes control of the brand when it relaunches as Fazbear Entertainment. Bonus points for William killing Charlie after '83 as a sort of twisted "eye for an eye" situation.

and you can have Michael after the fact overlooking some of William's more unnerving tendencies maybe even lying to help him because well.. it's his dad. Michael literally did the worst thing in the entire world to his younger brother and his dad doesn't blame him. He still has (an absolutely awful) person to support him and tell him it's okay when literally everyone else in his life either hates him or avoids him so of course he'd ignore when his dad came home with bloodstains on his shoes or a new toy for Elizabeth that he swore used to belong to a kid down the street.

It doesn't matter if it comes from a place of actual love and grief or from wanting revenge on Henry I just think it would be an interesting spin

[arcenciel-par-une-larme]

@siryouarebeingmocked I know that this post is about 7 years old, yet not only has this practice not stopped, but it has mutated in countless variants as well. I have lost count of the times when, e.g., I find myself pre-blocked by an OP with whom I have never interacted before, or a fanart-only, politics-free blog which I follow suddenly decides to block me, even though my only interaction with them was reblogs of their art and we are not mutuals.

I mean, maybe I'm reading too much into it, but the message I get is along the lines of "YOU, child, have to sit down and think what you did to make me mad."

@siryouarebeingmocked

i was going to make a witty comment about this but as it turns out i am also blocked. it made me laugh and then i forgot what i was gonna say so… welcome to the club, me!

(original post)

[brucewaynehater101]

The number of times I've seen people argue that Bruce is a decent father and that he is not abusive absolutely blows my absolute mind.

Yes, you can hc whatever version of Bruce you want. You can even blame it all on bad writers or reject canon. You can claim comic!Bruce isn't your Bruce and main a different version of him. Those are all valid.

However, you can NOT say that he has ever been justified for hitting his kids. There is no excuse for him willingly laying his hands on his kids. It doesn't matter if the person is drunk, drowning in grief, lost in emotions, whatever. Hitting kids is not okay.

Continually, the physical abuse is a very obvious sign of Bruce being a shit dad in the comics. On top of that, there is so much emotional abuse and manipulation as well. He's shitty as fuck to his kids and there's no reason this is okay. He may love those kids, but that doesn't excuse his behaviors.

Anyways, reject canon Bruce all you want. There's certain aspects of other characters I reject, and DC stands for Disregard Canon. Feel free to have whatever version of Bruce you desire.

What is NOT okay is excusing or accepting canon Bruce's actions/behaviors as acceptable.