#abuse talk

[nemesismess]

weird randomly ramblings about living with abuse

When you live or with a abusive person, you lose a lot of friends.

And many people won't understand when you have to reject plans or last minute cancel plans because of your life situation with a abusive person

The abusive person wants to control your whole life and is irrational

So I've lost a LOT of people who """got tired of my bullshit""" because I wasnt able to be as present as I actually wanted to

So sometimes when I see ppl post things like "if they dont make time for you, that friend is toxic <3" it doesnt apply to victims of abuse. When you're abused or in contact with your abuser, your life isnt your own.

So yeah, theres reasons why I have abandonment issues.

And don't tell me I have a defeatist attitude when I had irrational rules like I wasnt allowed to take public transit till I was 18 AND my therapist at the time had to lecture my abuser

My life hasnt been my own for so long

[bistaxx]

>.> just gonna make a quick vent sry…

( tw abuse talk )

I actually really kinda fucking hate the fact that there’s a chancla on Pepito’s happiness meter, idk it just makes my stomach turn- I wasn’t really happy when they included that item to begin since I don’t like chancla jokes in general ( and yeah I’m Hispanic + Latino before people start asking ) but was willing to try to be chill and not take it too seriously but like… idk… it’s hard and it hurts and it does make it harder for me to watch streams. All the other eggs have cute and happy things on their bars…

Idk it just feels weird like they’re constantly going back and forth on if the pep + ro dynamic is suppose to be serious but then they do stuff like put the chancla on Pepito’s bar and it’s back to being ‘jokey’ and idk… I don’t like that feeling.

Idk, it just sucks I love qro a lot and I don’t mind liking darker characters/characters developing in negative ways even if their actions evoke some bad memories for me… I’m just worried that the intent with the admin(s) and the cc aren’t lining up if that makes sense? Esp. With Pep having multiple admins. Idk, the whole thing makes me feel nervous for a lot of reasons- I just hope they can get it settled bts before any more streams. And I’ll also concede me not being fluent in Spanish makes it harder for me to catch tones and understand what’s going on fully which I get plays into my mixed feelings… still don’t like the bar though…

[self-loving-vampire]

Extremely dangerous how "grooming" in the context of child sexual abuse went from being a very specific pattern of isolation and trust-building with the aim of abusing someone to "telling children anything that contradicts their parents' ultra-conservative worldview is grooming" to "selling rainbow flags in a store is grooming" to "literally anyone I don't like is a groomer".

These days the word seems to most often be used by people who don't care about what it actually means and just want an easy "this person is irredeemably evil, kill them now" button.

[chokeonitslutt]

[pathologictwo]

y’all remember we’re talking ab allegations of pedophilia and human trafficking and domestic violence right. real-life abuse. this isn’t fucking hannibal or Genshin or some shit even as a joke these posts are fucking weird

[scramratz]

Part 1

[flipflopmasterr]

Oh those kids were BORED ALRIGHT.

The fact that their bedframe looked intact before getting grounded is so funny to me

(And no kids you can't practice your knife skills on the bedframe, put it down)

[anendtopursuit]

not to gush too much abt neil newbon's performance as astarion (and stephen rooney's writing for him) but like. he's discussed on streams before how conscious the decision to make him feel like he's constantly performing is (regardless of outcome; theatrical spawn astarion & operatic ascended astarion), and how stephen rooney leaned more into the whimsy and fun of the character based on things he saw in his portrayal (hence astarion progressively getting funnier and more charismatic through game development). but the thing that drives me absolutely mad tbh is the moments where all of it drops and he's suddenly so sincere, because it hits you like a truck to the face.

his voice going all soft and quiet and brittle when he describes cazador instructing his spawn to torture themselves. his mannerisms shifting from seductive and playful to a little more nervous. but the one that always gets me is in the graveyard romance scene, talking about what cazador has taken from him, how it was taken by force; "but he did take it," in this voice that's so full of sorrow that it almost sounds hollow, muffled by none of his usual pomp and theatricality, when even in cazador's palace his admissions of upset were sandwiched between attempts to brush it all off. dear god.

[apollos-boyfriend]

i keep seeing people talk about dan and phil who are they???

[rvllybllply2014]

Manchild update that nobody asked for.

After getting him home he talked to his mother and demanded that I take up to Walmart because he said that some employees up there tried to beat her up/jump her and she’s the type of woman who would call the police not her son to deal with it. I refused so he went to bed and fell asleep. Fast forward about 2 hours he wakes up to use the bathroom and I catch him peeing in the sink I ask him what the fuck he’s doing and tells me to shut the fuck up and to leave him alone. The door was open btw it’s not like I busted in on him. Anyway I go to put the pop back into the fridge and as I walk by the bathroom which the door is still open he’s ripping up one of my books that I have in there to read while using the bathroom. So I ask him what is he doing he rips out another page from the book and puts it on the toilet seat. I tell him to stop and use the paper towels that he brought in there to use as toilet paper instead of ripping my book up so he leaves the bathroom. And sits on the stairs and falls asleep so I ask him what he’s doing once I hear him snoring he doesn’t say anything this time and just gets up and walks outside. He leans against the house and I guess falls back asleep but idk cause I’ve closed the door to keep bugs out and the ac is on so I’m not wasting energy. I’m finally doing his laundry, because this is day number two of his drunk ass peeing his pants and I’m tore of smelling his pissy pants,that he demanded that I do because he “works hard” (he’s a truck driver) and I should have to do it and if I don’t then I’m not a real woman and I should be grateful and suck his dick 24/7 and be happy to cook for him (every time I do he complains about something). He acts like I owe him sex (I’m demisexual and the older I get the less I want to have it) I’ve told him I won’t unless he starts showing me respect like he does his mom and sister but he says I won’t ever see that level cause I’m not them and should stop comparing myself to them and how me doing all the cooking cleaning and his laundry makes me feel like his mom all he does is scream at me about how I’m not he already has one and that I’m nobody’s mom. Manchild is 31 years old and still acts like this, I think the reason that it’s hard for me to leave his abusive ass is because I feel bad for him and he tries to make me think that he’s not abusive towards me and how real abuse victims would laugh at me because they have broken bones and bruises. But here’s the thing he’s bruised me before multiple times and he’s thrown shit at my head, he made me quit my job by calling me a slut and whore and saying I didn’t actually work I was just in the back sucking underage dick or old man dick because those were my coworkers teens and men in there 40s and just generally stressing me out making it hard to work, and he also calls me bitches along with whore slut and other names which I’m pretty sure is verbal abuse. But yeah I feel like I am a victim but I’m not sure because I don’t have it as bad as other people. Side note I’m so fucking tired of crying, I’ve never cried this much not even when a traumatic event that happened five years ago upended my whole world, he constantly makes me cry and it’s hard to sleep knowing that he’s here it’s like I have to stay alert for what ever he might decide to do.

[sarcastic-clapping]

LET YOUR DAD DIE: IT'S FINE IT'S FINE IT'S WHAT HE DID TO HIS DAD.

Lestat + Claudia: Patricide & The Cycles of Violence - INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE (2022) - Catherine Lacy, "Cut" (2019) / Anne Rice, "The Vampire Lestat" (1985) / Anne Rice, "Interview with the Vampire" (1976)

[existential-flu]

there's something so fascinating about the physicality of Hotch. he's tall, strongly built, and he uses that, he's commanding. he's loud, his voice carries well, but he's rarely violent. he's a clean shot, he's steady. that drops when he's not in charge of a situation. his voice gets the softest of anyone on the team. he moves stiltedly. stands awkwardly, like he's trying to shrink - he makes himself look smaller. he fidgets but it's isolated to areas of his body, the rest of him freezes. when he loses control he tears down to bone. screaming in the face of fire, beating Foyet to death. inherent violence tamped down and down. and you know it's there, when he's physically commanding, but it's not far away even when he's not.

[mephoj]

can we beat this guy with hammers

[dumbnsuch]

crying on it daughter style

[padmestrilogy]

two spent swimmers

“the skywalker suicides part i: the case for padme” / the phantom menace DVD commentary / macbeth act i, scene 2 / gregory orr / early concept art of anakin and padme by iain mccraig / “lady macbeth + macbeth” - two-bees-poetry / valerie estelle frankel