#about it and someone who cares about you so deeply that they think about you at night and smile so big that it hurts and someone who loves

[thef1diary]

https://www.tumblr.com/nobrakes/663801931216601088/you-gotta-hand-it-to-him-man-knows-how-to-sell

absolutely going feral over these, and it’s giving dirtbag!daniel having his way with you on a boat 👀

oh how he would LOVE for everyone around to hear 😩😩

-🐱

— his tattoos 😵‍💫 if he wants you, he wants you, doesn’t care if anyone else hears (or sees) plus wouldn’t it be so much fun to fuck w a view? he’ll still look at you though. NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY HEART ATTACKS BTW (cunty collective I see you) 18+ content below

The sun beat down on the boat, the faint rocking of the waves beneath you doing nothing to steady your trembling legs as Daniel pulled you onto his lap. He was shirtless, his bronzed skin glistening faintly, and those shorts he wore—low on his hips and just short enough to show off the tattoos on his thick thighs—left little to the imagination.

You should’ve been looking at the open sea, the endless stretch of blue and the gentle horizon. Instead, you were seated on Daniel’s cock, his hands gripping your hips, letting you take him as deeply as possible.

“Look at that view, baby,” he rasped, his voice rough, his lips grazing your ear as he guided you to grind down on him. “Not the ocean, though—nah, the only thing I care about is how good you look falling apart for me.”

You tried to focus on the horizon, your hands braced against his chest as you lifted yourself up and sank back down. But Daniel wasn’t about to let you escape the intensity of his gaze.

“Eyes on me,” he muttered, a hand slipping under your sundress to toy with your clit. You whimpered at the sudden shock of pleasure, your legs threatening to give out.

“D-Danny,” you stammered, your voice catching in your throat as he smirked.

“There’s my good girl,” he crooned, his tone dripping with mock sweetness. “Whining for me already? Fucking pathetic. You can’t even ride me properly without making a mess of yourself.”

You whined, your nails digging into his shoulders as you tried to keep up with his pace. But he was relentless, pulling you down harder, making sure you felt every inch of him stretching you open.

The wet sounds between your thighs grew louder, and your face flushed as you glanced nervously over your shoulder. The thought of someone walking by, hearing the obscene noises or catching a glimpse of what you were doing, sent a jolt of both fear and arousal straight to your cunt.

“Don’t even think about it,” Daniel warned, gripping your chin and turning your face back to him. “No one’s out here right now, but you want someone to see, don’t you? Bet you’d love to have an audience. Let them watch you bounce on my cock, moaning like the desperate little slut you are.”

“Shut up,” you shot back weakly, but your words were swallowed by a sharp gasp as he pinched your clit, making you clench around him.

“Shut up?” he mocked, his tone dripping with condescension. “That’s cute, coming from someone who’s whining my name loud enough for the whole fucking marina to hear.”

His lips found yours in a bruising kiss, his teeth nipping at your bottom lip as he swallowed your moans. “Go on,” he muttered against your mouth, his hands digging into your hips. “Let it out. Let everyone hear how good I make you feel.”

You tried to muffle your cries, biting down on your fist as your thighs burned from the effort of riding him. But Daniel wasn’t about to let you hide.

“Nuh uh,” he muttered, grabbing your wrist and forcing your hand away. “You don’t get to be shy now. You were so eager when I took you out here, weren’t you? Now fucking own it.”

His hips thrust up into you, meeting your movements with brutal precision. The force of it had you crying out, your head tipping back as pleasure overwhelmed you.

“That’s it,” he muttered, his voice dark and filthy. “Make a fucking mess of yourself. Don’t stop until you’ve soaked my cock, sweetheart. I want to feel you dripping down my thighs.”

You couldn’t hold back. The knot in your stomach snapped, and your orgasm hit you like a wave, your entire body trembling as you moaned his name—loud, unrestrained, shameless.

“Fuck,” Daniel hissed, watching you with hooded eyes as you came undone. His hands never stopped their punishing grip on your hips, pulling you down onto him as you rode out your high.

When you slumped against him, boneless and still trembling from the aftershocks, he chuckled darkly, pressing a kiss to the side of your neck. “Better clean yourself up before someone sees, baby,” he murmured, his voice dripping with mock concern.

Then he leaned in close, his lips brushing your ear as he whispered, “Or maybe we should enjoy the view this time, hm? Turn around, on your hands and knees.”

want more dirtbag!danny? send me an ask with your filthiest thoughts and it’ll get answered during one of my dirty drabble days

[cometblaster2070]

ranting for a bit because the entire scene where elphaba tells glinda her secret makes me go rabid and actually makes me want to chew concrete because not only is it actually absolutely heartbreaking to see just how deeply elphaba believes all the horrible things her father reinforces; how she thinks she's responsible for her mother's death and is the reason for nessarose's disability even when it's literally not her fault in any way and is actually DIRECTLY her father's fault.

and just the fact that elphaba tells glinda all this and tells glinda her father hates her and that everything's her fault and glinda looks at her and she's absolutely heartbroken to hear elphaba saying all these things and she becomes the first person in elphaba's life to look her in the eyes and tell her that none of that is true and that it is NOT her fault, it was NEVER her fault despite whatever anyone said.

ik a lot of ppl see glinda's "it was the milkflower's fault" line as a very sort of shallow take by glinda (I'm explaining it poorly but ik some ppl wonder why she didn't just call out governor thropp directly) but I've got to disagree with that take because personally I think glinda heard elphaba talking, heard her describe her secret and heard how her father forced her mother to chew milkflowers constantly during her pregnancy all because he was afraid the baby would come out green like elphaba and she heard all this and she hears how elphaba thinks this is all her fault.

and yk they're roommates. glinda sees the way elphaba talks about her father and how even though she says that he hates her in an almost casual manner despite how she says he's justified for hating her, elphaba still loves her father and she still wants to do right by him and she still wants him to love her.

so glinda knows that elphaba will not listen to her if she straight up tells her that her father's fucking mental and completely wrong and that it was all his fault and that she's probably going to bludgeon him to death. she knows that elphaba will never accept this and she knows that right now it won't do any good for anyone.

so instead she tells elphaba it was the milkflower's fault. and she looks her in the eyes and she tells her this was never your fault you shouldn't think this was ever your fault and anyone who ever told you that it was your fault was completely and totally wrong and I need you to know this.

because the primary concern isn't about telling elphaba she's got a shitty dad the primary concern is telling elphaba that it is not her fault for simply existing. and to let her know that there is nothing wrong with her and that there is someone here, right now, who loves and cares for her so so much and wants her to know that. that there is someone who will hold her hand and who will tell her that they are there for her and that she is fine the way she is. that she is loved.

[amastarxoxo]

Hii! Could I perhaps ask for a yan! Caitvi with a darling who is scared of them? Ty 4 reading my request!

fun fact: i don’t like either one of these people ( vi is 50/50 on a good day )

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀₊ ˚ shared infatuation ꒰꒰🍒꒱꒱

masterlist ૮ ྀི ◞ ◟ ა navigation

warnings : objectification , fem!reader , poly relationship , violent outbursts ( vi ) , manipulation ( cait ) , sexual touching ( nothing explicit ) , dehumanization ( ? )

caitlyn and vi are the best couple to be around in public. but private…

caitlyn

doesn’t understand why you’re scared. she been nothing be nice to you and even dolled you up like a pretty princess.

everyday, she has a set routine for you that must not be ruined by anyone or anything. they will face the consequences if such happens

if you refuse to obey , she start manipulating you into thinking very differently about some people you care about.

she tends to do treat you more like a doll than a real person , “dolls must look pretty. dolls always obey their masters. dolls are obedient.” — her motto. 

she honestly care but also don’t care that you’re scared of her, she has nothing to worry about she may not put hands on you ( physically at least ) but someone else can take care of that ( more fear the more she’ll listen )

vi

i hc that vi is a really short tempered one but she tries to keep her cool around you and i mean TRY

every time you flinch, refuse, or ATTEMPT to run away from home escape, she ready to blow up and take out on anything or anyone.

“honey bun, please…stop getting me mad for attention! you know i’m completely devoted to you no matter what…just ask next time, k?” she’s delusional ! she thinks we asked for this.

she uses her anger to control you! you don’t want to get hit right? great! start listening—or else.

she does deeply care for you and she wishes you would just cooperate with her so she doesn’t have to use her anger to control you—she also cares about the fact you’re scared of her but she also uses it to her advantage clearly but then again, whatever keeps you with her, us, it doesn’t matter.

vi + cait

they love touching you. and i mean love touching you, boundaries don’t exist with them. from your hair to your lips, lips to your neck, neck to your collarbones, collarbones to your tits, tits to your stomach, yea you got the point.

cait will always scold vi for intentionally scaring you/using her violent outbursts to strike fear into you but she never actually stops her. if anything she’s watching from a distance, the scolding is just an act and they both know it except you of course.

whenever they argue about you, they never address you as a person, you’re an object, or not even consider human in a way, and since cait loves to keep you a doll you feel even more less of a person and more of a prop.

if you misbehave, vi will hold back cait from feeding you, showering you, etc. your punishment is either dehumanizing or rough housing sex; and cait most definitely does not agree with roughing you up have to keep up your precious porcelain skin, not taking care of you is the next best option, but cait is against that one too so vi has to hold her back. this punishment can go on for 48 days to about a week or two.

©︎ A M A T E R A S U. all rights reserved. please don't plazarize, copy, or steal any of my works without my permission, thank you !

[polarisjisung]

ꨄ YOU ARE MY ROCKSTAR

LATE NIGHTS IN THE STUDIO W/ MARK

wc: 0.7k warnings: none yet! notes: been on a mark listening streak, still think golden hour is one of my favourites | LIBRARY

The clock on the wall reads well past midnight, but really it doesn’t feel that late.

The warm hum of the recording studio surrounds you, the soft glow of the lights casting a mellow ambiance in the room. It feels cosy. All moments with Mark did, but something tonight feels especially comfortable.

Mark sits behind the mixing console, headphones perched on his head as he carefully adjusts sound levels. You don't really know what all the switches and dials in front of him mean, but you do know that they mean a lot to Mark, and that's enough for you.

He’s in his element. It's obvious from the way he narrows his eyes down in front of him. But there’s something about the way he moves that tells you he’s more focused on making the track perfect than anything else in the world right now.

You’re sprawled out on the couch across from him, with a spiderman blanket he'd placed over your lap earlier, as you watch him.

His usual cheerful, easygoing nature has shifted into a quiet, intense concentration, the mark of someone who cares deeply about their work.

It was one of the things you loved most about Mark, how much he cared, not just about his work, but about you, about everything.

Mark's loves in life were few, but his dedication to them was immense. He loved rarely, but entirely.

His brows furrow slightly as he listens to the beat, adjusting a few knobs here and there, nodding to himself in approval.

You smile to yourself, almost feeling a little self-conscious about how much you’ve been admiring him lately. You can't help it, though.

The way his hair falls over his forehead, the way his fingers move so effortlessly over the dials, the way his voice takes on a slightly deeper, more serious tone when he's in "work mode." It’s moments like these that make you fall for him all over again.

“Hey, you okay?” Mark’s voice pulls you out of your thoughts, the soft crackle of his mic cutting through the air. You look up, meeting his warm gaze. His hair is an absolute mess, falling over his eyes and sticking out in all sorts of different directions— somehow Mark’s never looked better.

“Yeah, just… watching you. You’re really focused, huh?”

He grins, pushing his headphones off one ear. “Yeah, I get like this sometimes when I’m working on something that matters. You know, the kind of thing where I want everything to sound just right. But you’ve been quiet. What’s on your mind?”

You chuckle, lifting a hand to rub the back of your neck, just a touch embarrassed. “Nothing, just… you. I love watching you work. You’re amazing, Mark.”

His eyes soften, a faint blush creeping up his neck. He reaches over and taps a button on the console, stopping the track. “Stop making me all shy. You know I get embarrassed when you say things like that.” He leans back in his chair, crossing his arms as he looks at you with a playful smirk. “But I’m glad you think that. It’s nice to have you here with me.”

In your books, that was a win, considering the number of times you'd been reminded just how much Mark hated to be disturbed during his solo studio sessions. But like most things, the rules were different for you.

You sit up, suddenly feeling a little braver, and slide off the couch, walking over to him. “Can I sit with you while you work? I promise I won’t distract you too much.”

Mark presses a soft kiss to your hand, gentle, reassuring.

“Of course,” he says, already pulling the chair next to his, his fingers drumming lightly on the armrest. “You’re my favorite distraction.”

taglist: @yizhrt @suzayaaa @nanawrlds @sinisxtea @dearlyminhyung @flaminghotyourmom @jisworlds @jenobubbles @nctdreamchaser @lotties-readings @mystverse @chenlezip

[shizuturnspages]

Just yandere ayato and diluc with reader who has been through a lot. Like war, abuse, losing friends and death? You name it

And yet reader remain gentle and kind through it all.

I like this one because we all know diluc turns cold after his father's death, meanwhile ayato had to put up a face and gets crueler in order to keep the peace around his clan,

Yandere Ayato and Diluc with a Gentle S/O Who’s Been Through It All

Yandere Ayato

The Facade Falls for You

❥ Ayato is a master manipulator, wearing a calm, collected mask to navigate the storm of Inazuma’s politics. Yet, with you, it crumbles. Your gentleness is disarming in a way that terrifies him; he feels like you’re the only person who truly sees him beyond his strategic facade.

❥ He becomes obsessively protective, not just of your safety but of your kindness. He sees the world as something cruel, unworthy of you, and he’s determined to shield you from anything that could tarnish your purity.

Fixated on Your Strength

❥ Ayato admires your resilience, though he’d never outright say it. To him, your ability to endure so much and still remain gentle is nothing short of miraculous—and it feeds his obsession.

❥ However, he also hates the world for what it’s done to you. While you forgive and move forward, he quietly seethes, plotting ways to punish anyone who’s hurt you. They won’t even know it’s him pulling the strings until it’s far too late.

Subtle Possessiveness

❥ Ayato’s control over you is subtle but firm. He makes it impossible for you to leave his side by weaving himself into every aspect of your life—offering you comfort, opportunities, and protection under the guise of kindness.

❥ “You’ve done so much on your own,” he murmurs, taking your hand. “Let me carry some of that burden for you. You deserve to rest.”

A Calculated Protector

❥ Ayato will eliminate threats to your happiness without a second thought. Whether it’s someone from your past or a current obstacle, he’ll handle it quietly and efficiently. You’ll never have to lift a finger—or even know.

❥ But if you insist on staying connected to anyone he deems harmful? His tone sharpens, his smile a little too tight. “You trust me, don’t you? Then let me decide what’s best for you.”

Scenario:

You were sitting in the gardens of the Kamisato Estate, the sun casting a soft glow over the flowers. Ayato watched you from a distance, his heart twisting. How could someone who’d faced so much still look at the world with such warmth?

He approached, offering you a cup of tea. “You seem lost in thought,” he said, his voice gentle.

You smiled, though the melancholy in your eyes was impossible to miss. “Just thinking about the past. It’s strange, isn’t it? How the world can be so cruel yet still so beautiful?”

Ayato’s jaw tightened. He hated hearing you speak of the pain you’d endured, even if you did so with such grace. “You shouldn’t have to carry those memories alone,” he said, his tone firm. “Let me share them with you.”

“You’ve done so much for me already,” you replied, your smile soft but hesitant.

“And I’ll continue to do so,” Ayato said, his hand brushing yours. “Because you deserve more than what this world has given you. And I’ll ensure you have it—even if it means bending the world itself.”

Yandere Diluc

A Mirror to His Own Pain

❥ Your ability to remain kind despite your suffering resonates deeply with Diluc, who turned cold and distant after his father’s death. He sees in you the person he wishes he could have been, and that admiration quickly turns into obsession.

❥ He clings to you like a lifeline, desperate to keep your warmth in his otherwise dark and lonely world.

Overbearing Protection

❥ Diluc’s protective streak is intense. He knows first-hand how cruel the world can be, and he refuses to let it harm you any further. Whether it’s sheltering you at Dawn Winery or accompanying you everywhere, he’s always there.

❥ “You’ve suffered enough,” he says, his voice low and serious. “Let me take care of you now.”

Anger at Your Past

❥ While you forgive those who’ve hurt you, Diluc cannot. His anger burns hot and relentless, and he channels it into ensuring no one from your past ever gets close to you again.

❥ If he finds out someone who hurt you is still alive? Well, the Darknight Hero has another mission.

Struggling with Your Independence

❥ Diluc struggles with the fact that you can stand on your own after everything you’ve been through. While he respects your strength, it also feeds his insecurities—he wants you to need him.

❥ This can lead to moments of conflict, where his overprotectiveness clashes with your desire to handle things yourself.

Scenario:

The crackling of the fireplace filled the quiet room at Dawn Winery. You sat curled up on the couch, staring into the flames. Diluc watched you from across the room, his expression unreadable.

“You’re too quiet,” he finally said, breaking the silence.

You glanced at him and smiled faintly. “Just thinking.”

“About what?” His voice was soft, but there was an edge to it—an undercurrent of worry.

“The past,” you admitted. “It’s strange. I’ve been through so much, but I’m still here. Sometimes I wonder why.”

Diluc crossed the room in a few strides, kneeling in front of you. He took your hands in his, his grip firm but gentle. “You’re here because you’re strong,” he said, his crimson eyes locking onto yours. “Because you’ve endured more than anyone should have to. And I swear, as long as I’m alive, I won’t let you suffer anymore.”

You shook your head. “Diluc, you can’t protect me from everything.”

“Maybe not,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. “But I can try. And I will. Because I can’t lose you—not to this world, not to anything.”

[fuck-you-upmusicbracket]

Against the Kitchen Floor (Will Wood)

And I swear! I will die trying!/I'm still in the process, but I'm making progress; I promise I honestly wanna prove improvement's possible, I swear!/I'm so fucking sorry! I'm not a good person, I'm barely a person at all, But someday I'll be perfect, and I'll make up for it all!

Less rare than scarce, less diamond then rough/Unlikely to be more than just the coal you failed to crush

I'm catatonic in your arms, crying, "How did I cause so much harm?"/I'm down pounding my head against the kitchen floor/Apologizing for my life and ever entering yours

The vertex of my redemption arc/I’m searching on that virgin heart

"The raw emotion! And I strongly relate to desperately wanting to improve for someone you love. I belt out this song when I feel really hopeless"

"my one OC. also me. also it's just a really good song. one of will's best imo. screaminbg"

"Literally hits almost all of my self-esteem issues. Feeling like people only care about you for your body? Check. Not understanding why anyone would want you? Check. Thinking that all you do is hurt people? Check. I don't cry very often but this song DEFINITELY made me teary"

"one of those if u aren’t paying attention to the lyrics ur like this is nice but once u hear them its an OW holy OW and guilt and I’m sorry feelings"

"Just. Loving someone but not feeling like you’re good enough and trying to improve."

"Not only does this song have lyrics that are deeply relatable to me, but this song also feels very deeply personal to the artist and I feel that anyone who listens to it for the first time has that same feeling of getting punched in the gut. Just the lyrics and the melody and Will Wood’s vocals make this song an absolute masterpiece and I cry every time I hear it."

"One reason I'm attached to this song is because my friend sent it to me and said "I'm kin assigning you this song" and ruined my life (/j) It messed me up because I've always had a hard time in my life figuring myself out and dealing with my emotions, and for what feels like the first time, this song has been able to near perfectly describe how I feel about myself and my impact on other people, and it always just meant so much to me that my friend who sent it to me knows me better than I know myself and shared the song with me and I love them dearly."

Fast Car (Tracy Chapman)

You got a fast car, I want a ticket to anywhere/Maybe we make a deal, maybe together we can get somewhere/Any place is better, starting from zero got nothing to lose/Maybe we'll make something, me myself I got nothing to prove

So I remember when we were driving, driving in your car/Speed so fast, I felt like I was drunk/City lights lay out before us/ And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder/And I-I, had a feeling that I belonged

You got a fast car/Is it fast enough so we can fly away?/We gotta make a decision/Leave tonight or live and die this way

"I know it's an obvious one but YOU try playing it without crying I dare you"

"I cant explain the yearning but this makes me howl"

"OH GOD the longing!! The yearning in the recurring central image of the narrator and her lover on the highway, feeling this sense of limitless possibility and incredible hope!!! And then the verses take us with brutal efficiency through the collapse of their marriage, the way that the cycle of poverty stomps down on their hopes, and how with nothing left, the narrator does what her mom did and leaves!! Leaving the kids to experience the same thing she did growing up!! But it’s all punctuated and bookended by these callbacks to that central iconic memory of hope!!!!! But by the end we realize that the last line “leave tonight or live and die this way” offers only the illusion of a choice: when the narrator first runs away and later when she leaves her husband and kids, she’s still fulfilling her role in this cyclical generational story. God!!"

Against the Kitchen Floor submitted by @pixopolis + others

Fast Car submitted by @smallboyonherbike + @uchihasasukeofficial + @all-our-exploring

[glossykissies]

the readers and… who?

— the series ࣪𓏲ּ ᥫ᭡ ₊ ⊹ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃

episode four: puppy reader

introducing… my newest moodboard series! i will be creating moodboards based on my different readers with some of the characters i think they pair best with! along with the moodboard will be a brief description of their dynamic. i will mostly featuring characters that i write the most on this blog, but who knows, maybe i’ll throw in someone niche! part one can be found here. enjoy scrolling through ꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱ ౨ৎ⋆ ˚｡⋆

billy butcher (the boys) ♡

the grumpy man ends up having an unlikely affection for the supe!hybrid!pup that himself and the boys reluctantly take in. when she’s not leaving butcher unsettling drawings on his pillow or humping his boot, he finds himself drawn to her optimism despite being deeply traumatised by the lab she came from — a strength that butcher can’t even muster.

soldier boy (the boys) ♡

heading over to the no-supe-universe — grumpy, neighbour!ben didn’t expect to care so much for the sweet, needy girl next door with an obvious crush on him. before he knows her name (maybe she told him once but he didn’t care to remember), he’s always thinking of her as a lost puppy, always showing up at his door in little skirts and socks that are blackened at the sole from walking around outside bare-foot, wielding baked goods, berries from her garden or coming shyly with a request for him to fix something in her house.

scott miller (twisters) ♡

joining scotty on his travels around for research — puppy!reader is never far from scott’s side. she enjoys life on the road, driving motel to motel and spending time with her man. she has the terrible habit of wandering off, worrying scott sick at gas stations and roadside bathrooms but it’s nothing a scolding and a spanking in the back of the car won’t fix. she behaves for the most part, subdued by trinkets and scott’s ‘fun’ facts about twisters to keep her going, but her favourite part of the day is when his strong arms wrap around her thighs and she aggressively humps his face.

clark kent (smallville) ♡

from the day clark met her, he couldn’t help but feel it was his duty to protect pup. that was his nickname for her — pup, he used it more than her real name. it slipped out his mouth once, because of the way she’d energetically fly around and then crash at his feet — and he immediately went to retract it because he thought it might be rude, but she seemed to love the nickname, begging him to say it again. she was totally helpless, greeting dangerous men with a big beautiful smile, wandering around at night going ‘exploring’ in next to no clothes. her innocence betrays her, never noticing when the guys around her stare at her tits falling out of her shirt, to the point where exasperated, her pal, good-guy clark kent has to subtly pull her top up for her with a discreet shake of the head, or on even more dire situations, turn her around and carefully pluck her skirt lower so it wasn’t riding up her ass anymore. “what would you do without me, huh?” he’d give her a tight smile, but she can’t reply — still stuck on the feeling of his hands on her.

[mellowwillowy]

Briar has always wanted to see what's under your uniform, not under innocent pretense but a lecherous, perverted one. But you would never think of him like that and it killed his mood, too unbothered to have a take on you anymore. You were too good for him and this town and he wished the town would act like him, not bothering you in any sort of way.

Shady Bastards AU: Briar the Brothel Owner

Briar knew he had charm, alluring countless perverts with his face and body. It earned him some quick cash for a quick fuck, enough for him to have leisure time instead of working part-time in a cafe. This kind of lifestyle led him to be a part of a grander scheme, to become a brothel owner in the future and one of the underground brothel ringleaders.

Now imagine everyone's surprise when someone as angelic and pure as you were his best friend, perhaps someone he could only consider a friend. He wasn't close with Bailey in any sense, Darryl was just one of the many passing pale faces that were stuck in Leighton's English class and he only knew Avery as some sort of your sponsor. He was surprised to learn that you were still a virgin after all the years raised in this town and involving yourself with Avery. Hell, you being one of the many orphans from Bailey's family was the cherry on top. Poor souls, he would sneer to himself, pitiful bastards, raised to be raped and pay their guardian, like a fucking investment, as what the current Bailey would now say himself.

Briar didn't care. He wouldn't care. It wasn't like he was necessarily as protective as Bailey when it came to you, no, he was only looking at you as some sort of... thing, an object that he should protect just to sate his own satisfaction urge. Like a display object, he'd rather have it clean and perfect than dirty and broken. Briar was far from a good man so imagine to his surprise when your dead body was finally retrieved from the river.

Remy had sent out his farmhands to locate you, every tree, every river, and every cave had been searched thoroughly yet it took them almost a month to finally find your body floating in the river.

Briar was... he was...

He couldn't put it into words.

Heartbroken? No, that's what Bailey would have to feel, not him.

Dismissive? No, he was also tearing a new hole in the sewer, looking for you.

Furious? Maybe yes, toward the town, the farmhands, the temple, but to you?

Disappointed? You did nothing wrong.

"Why didn't you tell me anything?" Briar whispered to himself as your casket was lowered. Briar didn't want to think too deeply about how he felt about you anymore. He had been a coward all these years so why change now? Things would just be fine if he treated you as a missing display now. Right? Right? Right?!

Briar couldn't even think straight until he saw Bailey launch his punch at Remy. It took him a moment to get on his feet and break the fight. Right... all these feelings were supposed to be felt by Bailey, not him. He was never entitled to feel this way.

So he put himself up with it for 18 years. He swore he wouldn't falter unless he was given a second chance to pursue you better. You, not anyone else. It was just a passing wish, something that would never happen until he ran into you. Or perhaps someone who looked like you, dressed like you, sounded like you. The you a year before you changed and defied the temple and god.

Briar shuddered and stopped his driver, leaping out of his car and braced himself to hold you by your wrist.

A second chance... a second chance... he promised himself.

"It seems like you are lost, little miss, where are you heading to?"

"To the supermarket! I forgot where it is because this is my first time going there alone!"

"Who were you with?"

"My boss, Bailey!" you exclaimed. "He gave me an allowance so I'm looking to get myself an ice cream right now."

Of course, it's always Bailey first. Briar clenched his fist, his smile tightening. But he won't let him get all the spotlight anymore, no, Briar will play along now.

"It's quite hot right now, isn't it? I'll drive you there." Briar smiled and pointed toward his car. Bailey did remind you to never talk with strangers, let alone riding their vehicle. But hell, you did anyway because Briar felt so familiar to you.

[doublel27]

I heasitate to do anything that will give this incredibly toxic, bullying tantrum of a post more views, but I also don't think this is okay and people should say so.

It is not an essay, it is a lambasting of someone who disagrees not with just you, but the general discourse that exists around some shows in the BL world because there were over 8 different people's ideas referenced in that post and you focused on you and @lurkingshan. Spending the time to type in 30 tags in the actual post, and another 5 in the comments lambasting someone, offering to pass to anyone screenshots of DMs, utilzing different sizes of script for emphasis that is considered yelling in the written word, and encouraging others to discuss how toxic they are and then demand your boundaries are that they don't respond after flooding someone else's inbox is very rude and inappropriate. I want to applaud @technicallyverycowboy and @lugarn who I have never spoken to before for also calling it out.

I would like to start by saying it's very clear you're incredibly upset and chose to yell at a person who never mentioned you that you perceived as attacking you. Your feelings are okay and should be felt, this response is not. Particularly because there is a whole lot of projection and defensiveness in this post, both in acting like MBDL doesn't understand fandom ettiquite, being disingenous about MBDL's actions and claim to be entirely misread and misunderstood, but let's take a look at what you and lurkingshan actually said in that post, what you misrepresented and misunderstood, and what words were used that might have suggested you were acting as an authority and dismissing other perspectives.

While you value being tagged, when Maybe-Boys-Do-Love says not "everyone enjoys being tagged" could be referring to previous interactions MBDL has had with people who asked him not to (I know i've had that or have been asked to DM) or his own personal feelings of not wanting to be tagged. I don't know, you'd have to ask him rather than assume. You feel a way about what you refer to as vague posting, but not everyone feels the way that you do. Some people prefer to not have an @ shoved at them and prefer to see stuff that could be about them and just say that if someone cared about them enough to say something to their face they would, and move about their day. You are deeply upset by other's possbily vaguely referring to your thoughts on tumblr.com and that's a valid feeling. Bullying a person due to your big feelings however, is not acceptable, and the limited number of reblogs from a specific circle of people, shows exactly how unacceptable the overall community finds this stuff.

You can ask people to @ you in posts that refer to yours and link to them. That's how you feel. On your blog. And you don't have to like how other people act on their blog, but that's also THEIR blog. They can behave how they want, just like you do. Perhaps this whole post is the opposite of what someone would want to have happen to them, in the same way MBDL's was the opposite of what you wanted to have happen.

I want to be very clear that I have seen the post that @maybe-boys-do-love made and your response. Your response is still visible to me on the post and I have reblogged the version of the post on my blog where you responded to MBLD and where MBDL responded to you because I value the fullness of the discourse. I can still see it. Anyone who goes to my blog can still see it. I'm very mystified by the fact that you can't see your response when everyone else can, but I think it should be acknowledged publicly that your point about them deleting your response is a lie you could have fact-checked by asking someone outside of your circle. You have not edited this post to reflect that was a mistake on your part and was the crucx of you deciding to stop engaging in conversation with MBDL in the first place.

However, your quick nature to dismiss criticisms of your posts both above, and in other posts, as "you attacking their faves" or "other fans who only watch shows for shipping" is as dismissive and gaslighting as the work you accuse MBDL of. This Nov. 5 post of yours includes the following quote:

ULTIMATELY, Nihilistic: what we are dealing with regarding your concern, as fans and/or critics of Series Y shows, is a conflict of values, among critical fans like ourselves, other fans who only watch shows for romance and shipping, and the economic bottom lines of the studios/agencies themselves. Some of us just want narratively good scripts, like Bad Buddy or He's Coming To Me. Others are content with having a show end with their fave pairs confirmed together in the end, no matter the process of how they got there.

This dismissal of people who disagree with your definition of good writing and good scripts is the kind of historical conversation and tone from your posts that suggests that you are a critical consumer of content and others who have different opinions are not. Much like you accused MBDL of using "we" to deflect from his own opinion, your use of "us" and "others" repeatedly in that piece gives an us/them perspective. Other is a very othering word, when others is used as a pronoun. Us lets you know you're in the in group, with the taste makers, others lets you know you're not allowed.

From the post that you're concerned was vague-blogged on, which is part of a lager conversation of Spare Me Your Mercy, and Thai writing in general, you said the following:

It seems to me that the fantasies of the fans are worth more, as an investment by GMMTV and other studios in Thailand, than actual artistic material that focuses on queerness at this point. Capitalism and mainstreaming go very well hand-in-hand when there's money to be made, and this, to me, speaks loudly to the excellent points that Shan has made above about really great queer art being anathema to center- and conservative-mainstreams. We're getting less of really great queer art in Thailand, because the dampening of queerness in Thai shows might very well mean more bucks for the studios. Finally, a last point about capitalism that I'd like to make. I've been seeing a rising number of posts and comments taking Tumblr bloggers to task for being critical (like, objectively critical) of bad shows. Many folks don't want to read criticism of their fave shows and stars. I want to note that if one takes this position -- the capitalists have won again. If you're someone who's trying to prevent critical takes from being published, well, you got got by the capitalists -- the studios, the managers who want you to be so in love with your faves that you will ponder asking a writer to censor themselves from making a critical take. You might feel ownership of your blorbo, protective of your favorite star. Those critical takes may feel, to you, like a takedown of your fave.

Again this is highly dismissive and rejects any critism of your takes as people who are just into shipping or faves. Similar to your criticism of the use of the term we in MBDL's post, here you use the term "one" here is short for anyone or everyone. You're claming anyone who disagrees with YOUR version of good writing and good scripts has been "got" by capitalism. (To be fair, I still don't know what your definition of good writing and good scripts are, and I've read all of your posts, as well as Ben's and Shan's and Twig-Tea's. So far I've got a list of common Thai tropes and themes that you don't approve of, and a tonality that is bothersome to you. Which is fair that you don't like it, but you catagorize those as bad and others as good.) Some people enjoyed the shows you didn't, and that's fine. Some of it they thought the scripts were good. Some of it they thought they weren't but enjoyed it anyway. As you stated in the above post this is your opinion and your blog, which is fair. But dismissing people who disagree with you as being got by capitalism and saying things like "ownership of your blorbo" which is to say that that's the only reason someone might like something, or that the only thing that people can like is high art and good scripts is frankly rude. And it's not even like you live up to your own standard. As you stated in the November 5th post:

Now, out of even MORE transparency, I am watching the MESS that is Kidnap right now, and listen, it's NOT GOOD. I'm fucking not even writing about it anymore, I'm just reblogging the sessy gifs. I am watching it to support Ohm Pawat, and am hoping that this partnership with Leng Thanaphon will hopefully lead to better scripts.... somewhere. (Or at least, better scripts for Ohm at a place like One31 or Channel 3. I also hope Ohm keeps up his anti-branded pair stance, but if GMMTV forces him to pair permanently with Leng, it won't be a fucking surprise, and more on that below.)

We're going to ignore that One31 is also owned by the same corporation as GMMTV here for a second, the money flows to the same overlord. We will also ignore that Jes Jespipat has stated that he wanted to leave Channel 3 for BOC, which his managment team, who is also owned by the same corporation as GMMTV and One31, because he felt BOC was full of like-minded people when it came to quality and production. Those are all easily serchable facts as is the fact that One31 and Channel 3 are mass market channels while GMMTV is a teen/ya market channel.

Those facts aside, I think it's really disingenous to suggest that you as a person are capable of distingishing between good writing and bad writing, because you a person with values, and then sometimes watch bad writing for your love of Ohm Pawat, (and who are we kidding, we all tuned in to Kidnap originally because Ohm Pawat had been returned to us). But the idea that you are capable of this thought, and actively choosing, and the way you stated above that anyone who rebutts your takes "got got by the capitalists" (bold is yours, see above and the post) if they tuned into a show for their faves that you didn't like, or thought was bad, that means they weren't doing the same kind of thinking you did around Kidnap. Or that the only way to distinguish what is good and what isn't is your way.

And the worst part of all of this is, lurkingshan and you, misrepresented the article that interviewed the screen writer, Lux and Sammon, and even @benkaben's essay for your own agenda in the post you're referring to. The exact stuff you're accusing MBDL of doing.

Benkaben's initial post that's also linked in lurnkingshan's post, focuses on the fact that there's a comment in the interview that conflates Shipping, Romance, Fanservice with NC scenes and suggests that it makes a work less serious. For those of you who won't link through to the original article, here's benkaben's words:

And hey, you don't need NC scenes for that! No, sexual intimacy is not the only thing that "proves" a romance exist. I mean heck, you could even go all the way around and have all the NC scenes in the world and still present a story where the characters aren't in love with each other, because sex ≠ romance. Absolutely. But also I'm, really tired™, of this idea that any kind of sex portrayed in media is only going to "taint" the final composition. As If sex and love stories were some dirty stain that automatically made the work lesser: Less serious, less formal, less dramatic. I don't agree with the idea that you have to sacrifice intimacy in order to be taken seriously. I don't agree with the idea that sex is by default, just fanservice and therefore it's portrayal subtracts automatically from the story.

The quote that Benkaben is referring to from the original translation is as follows, just in case you're wondering: (I am not fluent in thai and am trusting the translator understood the majority of what was said)

“Sammon's novels are primarily BL and include numerous love scenes. However, we deliberately chose not to present it as a BL story. While the characters are two men in love, we approached it with a dark drama style. The characters are gay, but we don’t offer fan service in every episode or include NC (explicit) scenes. This has been the plan from the beginning. Our decision to omit NC scenes wasn’t influenced by censorship, airtime, or the actors. It’s because the themes we are addressing are heavy and serious. NC scenes would detract from the story’s focus, which is the dark drama and euthanasia. Some fans of the novel might be disappointed, but we believe there’s other enjoyment to be found in the series, even without NC scenes.

The screenwriter states very clearly and explicitly that this was not censorship, airtime or the actors. It was not for the audience or what you can do on Thai television or giving in to the conservatives as lurkingshan argued. Lux said because the themes they were focusing on were heavy and serious, she felt fanserivce and sex detracted from the concept of euthenasia and dark drama.

In fact, I am going to pull out and highlight this line again:

The characters are gay, but we don’t offer fan service in every episode or include NC (explicit) scenes. This has been the plan from the beginning.

In this way, the screenwriter of Spare Me Your Mercy agrees with your main complaint about Thai BL in general that you spent a solid time going in on, that shows are focused on fan service over storytelling. The decision to remove the NC scenes and anything very romatnic, in the directors view, was to comply with your argument of removing fanservice in favor of storytelling.

Additionally, in this post, which prompted lurkingshan's post, you stated:

And — I believe it was also disingenuous to the two previously adapted Sammon stories of Manner of Death and Triage as well, as both of those dramas were able to hold both mystery and romantic storylines to excellent ends, with wonderful touches of intimacy along the way (MaxTul couch scene, my beloved).

Meanwhile, in the translated interview, that @slayerkitty posted Lux did discuss Sammon's thoughts:

When we spoke with the original author, she was also very supportive of this shift because she also wants to highlight the theme of euthanasia. While she herself is a Sao Y and a writer of BL novels, she understands the adaptation’s focus.

And I was honestly very confused by your post this week adding fan service is the downfall and the cause of censorship (which the director of Spare Me Your Mercy said it was not as stated above), because the director of Spare Me Your Mercy ultimately agreed that shows deserve to have a good script and not be beholden to fanservice. You disagree that his script is good. But that's his argument here.

I was even deeper horrified by this line in lurkingshan's post, which ties back to a previous post of yours:

I appreciated her clarity that despite the show receiving strong ratings and finding popularity with the mainstream domestic audience, that doesn't actually make it a success as a piece of narrative storytelling. And if anything, its popularity underlines why it was a failure as a queer narrative, in particular.

The overwhelming Western paternalism here that suggests that if something is popular in conservative countries and not in the greater queer world means it's a failure as a queer story...That's the statement there: It's popularity underlines why it was a faiulre as a queer narrative.

I think a lot about Casey McQuiston's work, a queer author in America who was raised in some of the most conservative parts of this country. Their work, specifically I Kissed Shara Wheeler is a love letter to queer folx who grew up in conservative communties who LOVE the communties they were raised in, even if that community couldn't fully love them back. I think a lot about all of the boy loves that were turned into bromances in Korea to make the bottom line so that something like Love in the Big City could get made. I think a lot about the amount of money and capital and power it takes to get a story made that a country doesn't want to get told: Saint mortgaged his house to open an entirely QL production house and make the first major GL in Thailand because no one would finance it, The author and director of Meet Me at the Blossom also put her house, and frankly her freedom, on the line to make that show. Because while we'd like to separate the art from capitalist structures, as long as we are living in a captialist world, we are going to have to find ways to both work within the system and resist it. There's a lot of jokes made about how to keep the serious tone of The Eclipse in it's serious true art vibe of telling a very serious story about the deadly nature of the closet and internalized homophobia, that Vice Versa had to have Lay's rain from the sky, because someone had to bring in the money to the company from advertisments to have The Eclipse have the cleaner vibe.

To quote the post by lurkingshan again:

High quality, well-executed, honest and authentic queer art is more likely to be protested than celebrated in places where real queer people are not safe to live free lives.

What makes queer art high-quality, well-executed, honest and authentic? What makes a place safe to live free lives?

In the US? Pose was a beautiful love letter to the Black and latinx trans community, looking at the history of Ballroom in the US in the 1980s. It was succesful in this country, as much of Ryan Murphy's work is. However, it is not safe for the Black and latinx trans communtiy to live in the United States of America. We've got the anti-trans legislation tracker and the HRC had identified 36 murders of Trans and Non-Binary people as of November 30th 2024, disproportionately Black trans women. They acknowldge this is an incomplete account due to: many deaths often go unreported or misreported, or misgendering of victims leads to delays in their identification. This does not even get into the systematic ways in which the queer community as a whole, but the Black queer community in general, is prevented from accessing key resources like housing and jobs with a livable wage.

The US is not a safe country for queer people to live free lives, not as a whole. I live in a Blue state, and am queer and a married to my queer partner. We are not fully out. We are not fully realized as queer humans. Very few queer people in this world live fully out, fully realized lives, due to colonialism and Imperialism. And that's what your argument largely fails to do, is account for the overlay of Western ideals onto non-Western media.

You state loudly that you want good Asian art, like Asian art should be a monolith. It is not for people who are not Thai to decide what good Thai art is, which is why you and lurkingshan do with quotes like this:

I appreciated her clarity that despite the show receiving strong ratings and finding popularity with the mainstream domestic audience, that doesn't actually make it a success as a piece of narrative storytelling. And if anything, its popularity underlines why it was a failure as a queer narrative, in particular.

This is, in my opinion, but you'd have to ask MBDL because he's not allowed to reply to this without violating your wishes, what he was responding to by the following:

"I just wanted to create a post that made people whose queer tastes diverge from others feel welcome to their own preferences and appreciate that there’s not a single stance in the queer BL fandom about what qualifies as good and/or queer work."

People like MBDL and @le-trash-prince, who are also queer, enjoyed the allegorical queer storytelling of Spare Me Your Mercy. The three gay men who you referenced above did not. That's...fine. that's the whole point of MBDL's message, queer people are not a monolith that all agree.

The people of Thailand, overall, enjoyed Spare Me Your Mercy. There is no way to poll what straight or queer Thai people specifically thought, but it's a key piece of the puzzle that Thai people enjoyed this show. Because that's the base audience. That's who they made it for.

But when you say, and I quote this post again: We're getting less of really great queer art in Thailand, because the dampening of queerness in Thai shows might very well mean more bucks for the studios.

You have decided that Thai shows are not great queer art any longer, and that they are dampening queerness off of the critisms of We Are and Perfect 10 Liners, that have been prevalent from your circle. I'll link this one @twig-tea wrote and another one @bengiyo wrote specifically, which comment on shows created by a queer Thai man, and the writing decisions for Spare Me Your Mercy, which were made using an argument you yourself use to suggest that shows shouldn't engage with imagined couples and fan-service. And while these are your opinions, you also, as I have quoted above, stated that:

Finally, a last point about capitalism that I'd like to make. I've been seeing a rising number of posts and comments taking Tumblr bloggers to task for being critical (like, objectively critical) of bad shows. Many folks don't want to read criticism of their fave shows and stars. I want to note that if one takes this position -- the capitalists have won again. If you're someone who's trying to prevent critical takes from being published, well, you got got by the capitalists -- the studios, the managers who want you to be so in love with your faves that you will ponder asking a writer to censor themselves from making a critical take.

I want to be clear, that MBDL writing a statement about how there are many ways to depict and appreciate queer stories is not saying you can't be critical. It's saying that there are alternative views. People saying if you hate GMMTV, maybe don't watch, are saying you seem to be miserable watching this, you can stop any time.

The thing people are rejecting in your critiques are not that you did not like something, that's fine. It is the sweeping statements that there is a right and a good way to make queer art, and everything else shouldn't be engaged with because it's ruining the genre or selling out to capitalist interests (as stated in the above linked Spare Me Your Mercy post by lurkingshan and yourself, and We Are posts twig-tea and bengiyo). Your words across all of these posts, and this one directed at MBDL are about policing other peoples actions and putting your values onto them. That is the core of toxic fandom. Expecting everyone to engage with it exactly the way you want to.

I'm of the opinion that what's good for queer Thai television is not for foriegn audiences to decide, ultimately. That's for queer Thai people to decide. And some of them may not want to make the greatest queer Thai television, some people may want to make fun queer Thai television, or silly queer Television. And that's also a wonderful thing.

Which is at the core of the argument that Dr. Thomas Baudinette started. Dr. Thomas Baudinette stated the following:

He does not state fully what those anti-social practices are. Are some of them likely toxic shipping, yes. But there's also toxic solo stans. (I do take Dr. Thomas Baudinette with a grain of salt because I also know he's a white academic speaking about a community he's not actually fully part of, and I would like to learn more about what Thai and Japanese and Korean fans think.) But his wording suggests that Thai fans are being influenced by fans of other markets: in your post you discuss the TayGun kiss of it all and there's this quote:

In this case, I would like to note that while we see GMMTV reducing blatant queer perspectives and frameworks from their shows, and promoting friend-ships or bro-ships, in the case of High School Frenemy and the SkyNani branded pair, we see GMMTV's (and Thai BL's) rise continue to grow in certain Asian countries (like China, Malaysia, and Indonesia, among others) that do not allow for public displays of queerness, among other restrictions. GMMTV does not hold branded pair fan meetings in these countries, and yet, these countries are some of the channel's biggest markets for its queer shows and pairs. As well, these countries (I am part-Malaysian myself) do not have public programs of sex education. Thus, if I am to assume that the majority fan bases of these shows are young folks in countries that do not offer robust sex education, then these young folks (of any gender) might not be inclined to join in and participate in conversations about queer equality. We, thus, get the outcry that occurred after Tay and Gun smooched. God forbid fantasies were to have been destroyed because two real-life people kissed. Two men, kissing, outside of the context of their branded pairs and outside the context of a drama. Some people have never been to the club before.

To the first part, GMMTV is not reducing their blatant queer perspectives in their shows. That is factually untrue. They've added more QLs (which at GMMTV are always romances) and queer strands in their non-BLs. In fact, the number of queer shows in 2019 was 3 (2 QL and 3 Will Be Free). The number of shows with QL in 2024 was 12 plus queer themes in an aditional 3 shows. That is an increase of 5 times more queer content in 2024 than in 2019. (source: MyDramaList - filtered for GMM25 and then removing anything not produced through GMMTV). This does not touch on how many of the writers and directors for GMMTV are queer people under the age of 40 sharing their perspectives. Now you don't have to like those queer perspectives but they're not getting less queer. In fact, for the 2025 wave, which did not show a reduction in queer perspectives, but in fact showed a proposed total of 15 BLs, 2 GLs, 1 het (oh Nanon's never coming back), 1 mixed stories with some VERY explicitly queer sections, 1 SkyNani bromance, with 4 BL still outstanding, 1 GL set to air in two weeks, and 6 outstanding non-BLs from the 2024 Up and Above announcements. Second, You conflate the lack of acess to public programs of sexual education to a lack of inclination to join and participate in discussions around queer equity. You then use the word Thus to show causation from lack of access to public programs of sex education and repression of queer people to people having meltdowns over TayGun kissing. Lack of education is not why fans don't have boundaries and can't accept their fantasy bubble being broken. I promise you, Taylor Swift fans yelling at her ex boyfriends over her songs are not doing so because of lack of education about sexual ethics. It's about ownership, which is the heart of the anti-capitalist message you espouse. We allow fans worldwide, not just in specific Asian countries to behave badly becaues they've bought a product of a brand.

The concept of toxic fans is not new nor singular to Thai BL media. @chaos0pikachu has one of my favorite rundowns ever on how the tin hats existed in bandom (and GLEE) before Thai BL was ever a thing. I didn't survive Glee and the loss of Chris Colfer as an actor for us to pretend that the people who do this kind of toxic shit for us to pretend that CPs are the cause. I certainly didn't watch Once Upon A Time fans tweet @ Colin O'Donoghue they hoped his pregnant wife would just die so he could be free to be with Jennifer Morrison for us to pretend this is a BL problem. I definitely didn't watch people harrass Rafael Silva and Ronen Rubenstein out of posting their friendship as a gay and a bi man acting together because the assumption was they were having an affiar behind Ronen's partner's back for us to pretend this was a Thai BL problem due to CPs. I did not watch a bunch of people use interviews promoting the show and the fact that they kiss well to say that Jacob Anderson and Sam Reid are having an affair for us to pretend CPs make this problem.

This problem exists with or without branded pairings, but is entirely tied to idol culture and the objectification of celebrity brand and the intrenchment in being a "Stan" and we've completely lost the plot, Eminem. I still think about regularly Katy Perry asking Stevie Nicks who her rivals were, and Stevie Nicks saying she didn't have rivals but contemporaries. Modern fan culture, globally, in the social media era is set up for rivals: the Swifties, the Bey-Hive, the Katy-Cats, the Barbs, Army etc. Fan culture is like this, and without fans participating in the isolation and ignoring of these people they will continue to harrass and attack people, because as Wicked reminds us, the best way to unite people is to give them a common enemy.

I don't know if you watched the disaster that was Korean netizens sending funeral wreaths to be set up in front of SM building for the member of RII7E who tried to return after fans stalked him to catch him engaging in inappropriate behavior and dug up a middle school girlfriend, which was allowed by the company. I do believe some of this is what he's referring to by anti-social behavior. One of the most horrifying acts of behavior against a GMMTV artist was someone getting into Fluke Nattanon's car and refusing to get out. Like...that's the scariest shit. That shit should be handled. That had nothing to do with shipping culture, and everything to do with a company not enforcing boundaries.

Any time and I mean any time, a person feels that they have the right to objectify a person and control them, that is both NEVER okay and is also NEVER the fault of the person who is being treated that way. No amount of branded pairing is responsible for toxic fans who don't have boundaries. Should the companies do something about them, yes, and that's what Dr. Baudinette is referring to.

To quote @wen-kexing-apologist's essay on objectification of Asian men which you linked in the post on Spare Me Your Mercy:

We all need to, but white Westerners especially, be extremely careful and introspective with the ways we are engaging with queer Asian media

And I take this very seriously. I think it applies not just to the objectification and commodification of the actors, as wen-kexing-apologist wrote about, but also applies to the infantilization and removal of agency of the writers, directors, actors and audiences in Asian countries who are engaging in the process of making and enjoying queer Asian art, suggesting they are not active participants in the process. It is not for interfans to talk over Thai writers, directors, actors and fans of what is and is not true for them and their country's work around queer Thai art.

The long and the short of it, is if you're going to post opinions as facts and undercut anyone who disagrees with you: on what is and what isn't good Asian media, what is and isn't good Thai media, what is and is not queer media, and how people should measure it, and other queer people say out loud: we don't have to all measure queer media the same way and we can have different opinions, and this is your response...I honestly wish you peace.

Clearing The Air On This Wack-Ass Event Of Toxic Fandom That My Brown Ass Was Recently Dragged Into

(*References and endnotes are posted in the comments.)

This past weekend, I was unwittingly brought into an event of toxic fandom instigated by @maybe-boys-do-love. The following is an account of that event, and a rebuttal to misrepresentations that he made in his posts.

1) Chronology of Events and Clarification of Communication, Connections, and Blocks

Late last week, @lurkingshan posted a thought piece about separating art and commerce in discussions of queer shows, and talked, in part, about Spare Me Your Mercy and the show's ratings popularity in Thailand as compared to its narrative shortcomings. The piece also talks about the artistic success, versus the public outcry, of the South Korean queer show, Love In The Big City. I, and a few others, reblogged the post with thought pieces of our own. (If you are interested in following along, reading the second link is a necessity.)

Tumblr user @maybe-boys-do-love subsequently posted, separately on his blog, a reaction post to Shan's post and my reblog of her post (1). His reaction contained misreads and dangerous misrepresentations of Shan's and my writing.

Shan and @maybe-boys-do-love had previously mutually blocked each other (2). Therefore, @maybe-boys-do-love went around the block to react to Shan's post.

He did not make clear to his audience that he was reacting to Shan's post. He wrote his reaction post without citing or linking to Shan's post, and did not tag me as well, thus removing both myself and Shan from a discourse that we had instigated, and prevented his audience from knowing or understanding his reference point for his reaction.

Mutuals reached out to me with @maybe-boys-do-love's piece, having previously read Shan's and my posts.

I DMed @maybe-boys-do-love to note to him that I had seen his post, and that I preferred to be tagged directly in discourse. I wrote that I would write today's post as a means of correcting the incorrect assumptions he made about my opinions. I also checked with @lurkingshan to make her aware of the post and ask if she wanted to be included in a response. Shan stated that she had already blocked @maybe-boys-do-love for previous instances where he indirectly vague-posted about her and misrepresented her writing, and that she had no interest in responding, but was fine with me doing so.

I then publicly reblogged @maybe-boys-do-love's reaction post with a clarifying note, sharing the link to Shan's original post and my reblog of our original SMYM discourse. I noted publicly that his reaction post contained misreads and inaccuracies that I will be clarifying today.

@maybe-boys-do-love deleted my reblog. I do not see my original reblog of his reaction post in his reblog notes. Mutuals confirmed, from their blogs, that they also cannot see my original reblog of his reaction post.

I requested to him by DM that he reinstate my reblog. He did not. He reblogged my reblog from my own blog (sorry, y'all) with a response to me and a general defense of his original reaction post.

He denied in DMs that he had deleted my reblog. I stated that I didn't believe him, and requested for our DM conversation to end (3).

2) Toxic Fandom and Expectations of Personal Accountability in Public Forums

Before I get into the nitty-gritty of responding to @maybe-boys-do-love's reaction post, I want to take a quick second to talk about toxic fandom and accountability, because it's been a topic bubbling up particularly in the world of the fandom of Asian, and specifically Thai, QLs. My public and private conversations with @maybe-boys-do-love about this reaction incident, prior to this post's publication, have been filled with a kind of noxious disingenuousness and deceit that has given me the damn creeps.

I've had tussles with other bloggers before about our disagreements of the art and economics of Asian QLs. The discourse has been almost always so much fun, often argumentative, sometimes gritty, sometimes passive aggressive, and sometimes parasocial involving the celebrities and creators of these shows.

I have always kept discourse respectful, and I pride myself with integrity on responding to any point that has been shot my way. I have been blocked for my takes, and I have encouraged others to block me if my takes are not to their liking, and they attack me for them. I encourage folks who don't like my takes to curate their Tumblr experiences, and take agency for what they agree with and want to read.

If I rant about someone's potential faves -- someone's fave shows or couples -- I put trigger warnings on those posts (here and here are two examples, and the most immediate link above also has a TW), knowing there's a lot of sensitivity out there over content. I trust the judgement of readers to read those trigger warnings and to skedaddle.

In other words, I take full responsibility and accountability for my writing, and I expect my readers to engage with me in good faith in return. I'm proud of the critical posts I've made over the last two and a half years here on Tumblr, especially my exploration of the history of the Thai BL genre through my Old GMMTV Challenge project.

I posted recently that the Asian QL scholar, Dr. Thomas Baudinette, believes that the number one threat to the growth of the Thai BL industry is toxic fandom and the prioritization of problematic markets.

It's funny that I posted that a few days before this incident happened. The specific elements of toxic behavior as demonstrated by @maybe-boys-do-love, as stated above, are that he

a) subverted blocks to read and respond to Shan's post without citing her, b) he did not clarify for his audience what he was reacting to, thus rendering untruthful his real intentions in writing his post, and c) his actual reaction post contained misreads and misinterpretations of Shan's and my analysis.

I'd like to name some elements of toxic behavior and fandom that occurred in the public communication I had with @maybe-boys-do-love to highlight them in order to emphasize the disrespectful nature of this incident.

In his reblog of my clarification post to his original reaction post, @maybe-boys-do-love writes,

"I also want to respect that not everyone wants to get involved in a back-and-forth on here."

Because of previous DMs, reblogs, tags, and comments on and of my work that @maybe-boys-do-love has made, I know that he is very familiar with my blog and my writing. We have previously communicated publicly and privately. I do not know why he would make an assumption that I would not have wanted to be tagged in his original reaction post, reacting inaccurately to points I made in my Spare Me Your Mercy post, considering that he and I have a public history of prior engagement. 

This assumption (remember the adage about assuming…) makes so little sense to me that I can only conclude he is coming from a stance of a disingenuous and untruthful defense.

More concerning, @maybe-boys-do-love follows with:

"I just wanted to create a post that made people whose queer tastes diverge from others feel welcome to their own preferences and appreciate that there’s not a single stance in the queer BL fandom about what qualifies as good and/or queer work."

Again, as @maybe-boys-do-love is familiar with my blog, I do not know why he would assume that my work is insular so as to not welcome different perspectives and discourse on my opinions -- as he and I had actually engaged, in the past, on our opinions of other content, and that there is overwhelming proof on my blog that I love engaging in discourse with others.

The statement that "there's not a single stance in the queer BL fandom" about my work is disingenuous, disrespectful, and toxic.

If it's not clear in the most obvious way -- and it may not be clear to some -- I am a personal blogger, posting my opinions and analysis, on a personal blog. My blog isn't Encyclopedia fucking Brittanica.

@maybe-boys-do-love indicates in his reblog that his mutuals helped him get around his and Shan's blocks. 

He also identifies as a "flaming gay guy" to characterize his position for his love of Spare Me Your Mercy, leading him to go around the blocks to comment on Shan's original post.

"Friends of mine shared the post with me knowing the love I, as a flaming gay guy, had for Spare Me Your Mercy."

I want to note that in the context of this characterization, I myself reached out to three gay male friends (one Asian friend, and two white friends married to each other). (There's nothing that IRL people love more than an Internet beef.) These three individuals range on the flaming spectrum, and assured me that @maybe-boys-do-love's position does not count as spoken monolithically for the gay male community (4).

Which leads me to my last point (for now) about toxic fandom. As iterated above: these Tumblr blogs we write on are personal blogs, homes to personal opinions, created by individuals.

The danger of trying to leverage group-think or group-speak to validate toxic opinions and toxic engagement with others is high within fandom discourse. I see it all the time on X in BL shipper circles. Maybe @maybe-boys-do-love's friends were too cowardly to write reaction posts of their own, and asked their friend to write one on their behalf. If that's the case, @maybe-boys-do-love can show us the receipts. But I'm guessing that didn't happen.

Within group and family therapy arenas, and human relations and business environments, counseling often focuses on "I-speak" -- the practice of using the "I" pronoun to claim accountability for facts, opinions, recounting of details, and so on. Using the "we" pronoun to justify a position -- without identifying who your "we" is -- weakens a stance, and at the same time, creates panic and fear within a group or community. It's a tactic often used in gaslighting or supremacist situations to generate collective fear over incorrect facts and threats.

This tactic is useless in a scenario like this, when there is ample published proof that @maybe-boys-do-love published a misrepresentative reaction post that did not link to the original source, deceiving his audience; he subsequently tried to monolithically speak for others, and to leverage and claim community to justify his doing so. It's wrong, it's disingenuous, and it's toxic.

I wouldn't want this guy speaking for me, and I hope readers of this post wouldn't want him to, either.

3) Responding to Misrepresented Points in MBDL's Reaction Post

Note: Much of @maybe-boys-do-love's reaction post reacted to points that @lurkingshan made about Spare Me Your Mercy and the Asian QL genre. I have consulted with Shan on my responses and she has approved them.

My entire rebuttal is long. An abridged version is below, and the entire rebuttal is linked here at this private link.

I want to start my response to misrepresented points in @maybe-boys-do-love's reaction post by highlighting the most noxious misread he made. He writes,

"and just a friendly reminder that a simple BL romcom is equally as queer of a story as a story about HIV."

Much of @maybe-boys-do-love's reaction post seemed magically conjured out of his ass to assume or imply that certain points were made by @lurkingshan when they were most certainly not.

NOT ONCE IN @lurkingshan's POST WAS LOVE IN THE BIG CITY DESCRIBED AS A "STORY ABOUT HIV." IN FACT, HIV WAS NEVER MENTIONED AT ALL, BY ANYONE, IN THE ORIGINAL POST, OR ANY OF THE REBLOGS AND ADDITIONS.

That was a heinous and noxious misread and reduction of @lurkingshan's post, wholly inaccurate and misrepresentative of the tone and content of Shan's original writing, and more revealing about him and his perspectives about the shows, than anyone he was pretending to fight.

And nowhere in @lurkingshan's original post did she claim that a BL romcom was not as "equally as queer" as any other story.

I want to respond specifically to an analysis of capitalism and markets that I made in my reblog of Shan's post, that @maybe-boys-do-love then reacted to.

"just a reminder, if we wanna talk about capitalism, that the whole idea of a work being better or worse, queerer or less queer, more valuable or less valuable based on it’s reception in numbers (either higher or lower) is not something Marx and Engels would be into, since they ascribed to exchange value over use value. The labor put into the work is where it’s at—and all of these shows had plentiful hours of (queer) labor put into them! But not everyone who talks about the wrongs of capitalism on here is actually interested in the finer details of how capitalism operates, the full political and economic realities of the companies making these shows, nor the individuals who are forced to fight for change within capitalism’s global structure."

This was such a convoluted, random, and inaccurate reaction to my post that I had to send it to a family member who is an actual professional economist (again, remember, IRL people love internet beefs) (5). He assured me that Karl Marx and Fredreich Engels would NOT have wanted to get tangled up in this beef.

But, anyway. I'm not a communist, and when I speak about capitalism and the markets to which Asian QL content is marketed to, I'm not analyzing the quantity of labor put into these shows that needs to be exchanged on the various Asian markets in order for the shows to be made. That's a very specific sightline into production budgets that maybe tingles @maybe-boys-do-love's brain. I think he was just trying to sound smart.

I want to be clear that he reacted to nothing I wrote in my post. This was a made-up stream of something that only established how he watches and judges shows.

But because I used the word "capitalism" in my post to talk about how GMMTV and other studios are addressing queerness and queer perspectives in their shows, @maybe-boys-do-love found reason to take issue with my writing, and to assume an air of intellectualism to establish a false sense of superiority -- by posting drivel.

All responses can be found at this link.

4) Conclusion and a Public Request to Respect Boundaries

As I wrote above: I wrote this post to make a public record of rebuttal against misinterpretations made about my writing by @maybe-boys-do-love.

I will publicly request that @maybe-boys-do-love do not contact me again. Do not reblog, tag, or comment on my posts.

If I have to block @maybe-boys-do-love, I will. However, I want the ability to read any further reaction he might have to this rebuttal, especially if he continues to besmirch my writing inaccurately and disingenuously.

As he demonstrated that he could not respect Shan's boundaries prior to this incident, I will say publicly now:

RESPECT MY BOUNDARIES.

And I want to thank the many mutuals who reached out to me during this incident to offer your support, and to notify me that this public incident of misrepresentation was taking place.

[bapeach]

Not an early bird

A bit of a shorter story, hope you guys don't mind! Again, sorry for any mistakes. Let me know what you guys think :p

Pairing(s): Azzi Fudd x female!reader Word count: 1.3k+ Summary: You were not a morning person, unlike your girlfriend, but you suppose mornings aren't so bad when you get to wake up to the love of your life. ------------

If there's one thing people knew about you, it's that you were not a morning person. Your team could attest to that, especially Paige. The blonde still couldn't stop talking about the time you almost gave her a black eye when she tried waking you up to get to the bus on time (it's not your fault, really. Who the hell thinks it's a good idea to wake someone up by jumping on their bed and screaming in their face?). You also know KK wouldn’t dare to wake you up to play games anymore, not after you locked her out of her dorm as a punishment (you still don't know why you had the key to her dorm and she didn't, but you found it best to not question these types of things).

So no, you were not an early bird. Not unless you counted staying up till the crack of dawn playing video games or binge-watching shows. Your girlfriend, Azzi, had tried many times to make you an early riser, though always being unsuccessful. She’d also tried to get you to wake up early once to watch the sunrise with her. You ended up agreeing, seeing as you couldn’t really say no to her, but that resulted in you falling asleep against her not even 2 minutes after getting to the lookout spot. After that she stopped trying, choosing to tease you about your sleeping habits instead.

Currently you were having an amazing dream. You were out on the beach with Azzi, hearing the waves gently crash on the shore. She was wearing her black bikini with a pair of your sunglasses. The ocean was the most beautiful blue, with the shore being a gorgeous white sand. None of that mattered, though. You only had eyes for Azzi. The way her skin shone in the sun, looking softer than ever. The small smile she had on her lips as she leaned back, trying to soak in all the sunbeams. Listening to her mumble about how you two should go out for dinner later, you could barely pay attention. You could only think about how her velvety, calming voice could lull you right to sleep. 

The scene started fading from your mind as you felt yourself waking up. Even with your eyes still closed, you could tell it was early, no sun shining through the curtains yet. You don't get the chance to get upset at the time though, feeling a finger gently tracing the slopes of your face. The trail started on your forehead, going down the side of your face, swiping softly on the skin just below your lips. You feel Azzi's finger climb back up to your forehead, smoothing out your eyebrows before letting her finger slide down your nose. 

While you'd rather never play basketball again than wake up early (Okay, maybe you were being a tiny bit dramatic), you couldn't help but smile a little. I mean, how could you not? Your head resting on Azzi's chest, feeling it go up and down, hearing her soft breathing and her heartbeat like a beautiful song. You breathe in deeply before letting out a contented sigh. You think this might just be heaven. The warmth of Azzi's body heat keeping away the chill that lingers in your room from the cold night. You hear raindrops trickling against the window, the gentle rhythm making you feel even drowsier. As you inhale, you smell the lingering scent of the skin care products your girl used before bed, mixed with the scent so unique to Azzi. The scent that makes you feel more at peace than you've ever been. 

You squeeze her closer to you, wishing you could just sink into her until you become one. "G'morning baby," she whispers, knowing loud noises in the morning overwhelm you. You open your eyes and crane your neck to look at her. You feel your heart skip a beat. You can't believe that this is your life. Waking up to the love of your life as she smiles softly at you, letting you know that no matter what, everything will be okay. You groan a little in response, your voice cracking from not being used for a while. You send her a sleepy grin, crawling up a little so you can put your head in the crook of her neck.

“Did you sleep well?” she mutters, her hand sliding to your neck to play with your baby hairs. “Mhm,” you hum, pressing a kiss to her neck. You grin against her skin as you sense a slight shiver going through her body. “You?” you ask huskily, giving her another squeeze. “Yeah,” she breathes.

While you love your sleep dearly, you’re glad Azzi is an early bird. Being able to just lay in her arms as you wake up with no need to rush to get ready. (Which happens a lot when she doesn’t stay the night). It’s moments like these where you feel like you could conquer the world. You feel like you’ve never felt peace before meeting the brunette, at least not like this. 

As you’re laying there, you’re already trying to find the best ways to convince the smaller girl to stay in bed all day. Who cares if Paige wanted to go to the mall for new shoes or that KK needed to go get Crumbl cookies? You could already imagine it, cuddling with Azzi for a while before she grabs her latest book and starts whispering the words to herself (She swears she doesn’t). She’d be wearing the little reading glasses that you love but she hates because they “make her look like a librarian”. You’d lay next to her with your own book in your hands, or maybe you’d play the game you’d been wanting to play for ages on your switch.

Letting go of the brunette, you roll over to grab your phone from your nightstand. Seeing as it was still dark in your room, you figured it was probably around 9 AM, the rain making the sky gloomier than usual. Your eyes widen as you whip your head back around. “7 AM?!” you rasp, your voice cracking, “What is wrong with you, you insane woman?!”. She giggled at your sudden exclamation and the slight horror in your eyes. The same giggle that usually sounded like music to your ears sounded evil this time instead.

You flop back down on top of her with a huff, your head on her chest as you sling an arm across her stomach and a leg across hers. “Sleep,” you say with a playful frown, closing your eyes again. She chuckles, your head bobbing up and down in jolts as she laughs. “We need to get up soon anyways to go meet the girls,” she says, her grin evident in her voice. “Shhhhhh,” you grumble, “sleeeeep.”. You can feel her smile as you place your hand on her mouth to shut her up. Returning your hand to her waist, you hear her mumble lovingly, “You’re such a grumpy baby in the mornings.”. You don’t pay her any mind however, already being lulled back to sleep as she softly scratches your back. Azzi places a kiss on your forehead as you nuzzle against her chest, trying to get more comfortable. Finally happy with your position and the returned silence, you exhale contently, a small smile on your face as you start drifting off again.

Looking down at you, the younger girl smiles in adoration as she closes her eyes again as well. She supposed you two could sleep in for once. Knowing KK and Paige, they’d be late anyway, Paige taking ages to get ready while KK is probably too busy making TikToks to realize what time it is. So she falls back asleep to your soft snores, feeling safe, wrapped up in your arms. And even as the sun starts peeking through your curtains and the outside world starts waking up, you remain blissfully asleep in your cozy, little cocoon, without a worry in your mind.

[genderfluid-insomniac]

Day 7: Sickness

Characters:

Lucifer

The king of hell has never been so nervous in his immortal life and is pacing around like someone just told him he’s going to have to give a public speech to all of hell except that his partner is fatally ill. They’re not really that ill and it’s mostly his anxiety acting up; tell Charlie and you to explain to him that it’s not the end of the world and you will be alright. After that, he’ll be a bit calmer and constantly at your side, wanting to be helpful and get you anything you want. Prepare to be waited on for as long as you are sick (not that he doesn’t already) and take care of no matter what symptoms you have. Because he’s immortal he can’t really get sick so if you want cuddles then he’s more than happy too and despite having work to do he’s more than happy to ignore all of it. Expect a get-well rubber duck when you’re better and it won’t be long till you get better.

Epel

He’s not the best at caring for people who are sick but he’ll try for you without a doubt and may or may not go to Sam or Rook for tips on how to help a sick person get better. If he is still stumped he’ll try to remember how his family helped him get better and give you some homemade food he thinks you’ll like. Epel isn’t allowed to skip classes so he will have to be away for a bit at times but Vil does understand how he really wants to help you better so he’s more lenient than normal. If you’re a cuddler when you’re sick or when you're normal then tough luck because he’s not going to risk getting sick and kinda feels bad about it but knows it’ll work out in the long run. It doesn’t take much at all for you to get better under his care and he’ll do his best to help you out with the work you’ve missed.

Leona

Surprise to everyone else he knows exactly how to take care of someone who’s sick and he might not look like it but the reason he acts lazy is so it would “ruin the image he’s maintained”. He can use home remedies or get high-quality medicine if it’s bad or serious; money isn’t an issue and he cares for you greatly although don’t mention it to anyone else because he will deny it. I mean he is royalty so money isn’t an issue and he has a hard time showing he is deeply concerned especially if it’s serious. You’ll be better in no time and you better believe that he will use your sickness to get out of work and classes. He knows he has a strong immune system so he’ll let you nap with him but only if you ask….and promise not to bother him.

[sikyulioness]

Hi hi! If its cool, could you write something about Jinwoo with timid!reader. Like theyve known eachother for years and as Jinwoo gets stronger, reader lets themselves drift away since they didnt want to be a burden. As a farewell, readwr gives him a letter, a love confession, before running off emabressed?

Thabk you!

✨Hope you like it✨

________

"If Only You Knew"

The ink smudged slightly under your fingertips, your trembling hands making the already delicate handwriting uneven. You swallowed hard, staring at the words you had rewritten over and over again, trying to find the perfect way to say goodbye.

But there was no perfect way, was there?

You had known Sung Jinwoo for years—before dungeons, before Hunters, before the world decided that power was everything. Back when he was just Jinwoo, the boy who smiled at you through his exhaustion, the boy who always tried his hardest, even when the world was unfair to him.

But as he changed, you remained the same.

Jinwoo had grown into something more—stronger, faster, untouchable. The world looked at him in awe, in fear, in reverence. And you? You were still just you. No magic. No power. No place in his new life.

So you let yourself drift away.

Not because you wanted to. God, you wanted to stay by his side more than anything. But you didn’t want to be a burden, the weight that held him back. You convinced yourself that this was the right choice, even as loneliness hollowed out your chest.

But even if you left, you wanted him to know.

So you wrote this letter, pouring out everything you had kept locked inside. And now, standing outside his apartment door, your hands clenched around the folded paper, your heart pounded so hard you felt dizzy.

Would he even care? Would he read it? Would he laugh?

You shook your head. It didn’t matter.

With a deep breath, you raised your fist and knocked.

The seconds stretched unbearably long before the door finally creaked open.

Jinwoo stood there, fresh out of a shower, his damp black hair tousled, a plain black shirt clinging to his frame. His golden eyes widened slightly at the sight of you, surprise flickering across his usually unreadable expression.

“Y/N?” His voice was warm, familiar, and hearing it made something in your chest ache.

You panicked.

Your mind screamed at you to run, but your body refused to move. Instead, you thrust the letter into his hands, bowing deeply to hide your burning face.

“T-thank you for everything, Jinwoo. I—I hope you’ll be happy.”

And then you turned and ran.

“Wait—Y/N!” His voice carried after you, but you didn’t stop.

Not when tears were already slipping down your cheeks.

Not when your heart ached with the knowledge that this was goodbye.

Not when you were too afraid of what his answer might be.

---

Jinwoo’s Reaction

Jinwoo stared at the letter in his hands, his fingers tightening around the edges as the sound of your footsteps faded down the hallway.

His heart pounded for reasons he couldn’t explain.

You had been avoiding him. He noticed. How could he not? The missed calls, the unanswered messages, the way you started slipping away every time he reached out. At first, he thought you were just busy. Then, he convinced himself that maybe you just needed space.

But when you stopped showing up altogether, when he realized he hadn’t seen you in weeks—no, months—he knew something was wrong.

And now, out of nowhere, you were here. Giving him a letter. Looking like you were on the verge of crying. Saying goodbye.

A sinking feeling settled in his stomach.

Without thinking, he tore open the envelope and unfolded the paper, his eyes scanning your familiar handwriting.

Jinwoo,

By the time you read this, I’ll probably be gone. I’m sorry for leaving like this, but I don’t think I could say this to your face without completely embarrassing myself.

I’m so, so proud of you. You’ve grown into someone incredible, someone the whole world admires. You’re strong, fearless, untouchable. And I… I’m just me.

I don’t belong in your world anymore.

I kept telling myself that leaving was the right choice. That you didn’t need someone like me slowing you down. But the truth is… I don’t want to leave. I want to stay by your side. I want to see you smile, to hear your voice, to know that even as you stand at the top of the world, I can still be someone important to you.

But I’m scared.

Scared that you don’t need me anymore. Scared that if I stay, I’ll just be a burden. Scared that you’ll look at me one day and realize I’m nothing compared to the people who belong by your side.

So this is my goodbye.

But before I go, I need you to know one thing.

I love you, Jinwoo.

I always have.

I always will.

Even if you never feel the same, even if you forget me, even if I become just another face in your past—I will always love you.

Be happy, okay?

- Y/N

Jinwoo’s hands clenched around the paper, his vision blurring as something in his chest twisted painfully.

You idiot.

Did you really think he didn’t need you? That you weren’t important? That he could just forget you?

A sharp, desperate urgency surged through him. He didn’t care if it was late. He didn’t care if he had to search the entire city. He refused to let you disappear.

Crumpling the letter in his fist, Jinwoo grabbed his jacket and ran.

---

The End

[sunnysidesevenup]

some Tilly rambling and analysis, since I somehow ramble more about him in DM’s than where anyone else can see it 😭

tagging!! @jadelover69 @kirexa @lallopsyou @jovieinramshackle @b0njourbeach

Tilly, first and foremost, is a liar and a performer, so most of his motivations are usually unclear and misrepresented on purpose. This is true for a lot of stuff—he tends to present himself as a lot shallower than he actually is. He’s actually a pretty deeply caring person, but he doesn’t want anyone to be aware of that basically ever.

For example! When he first met Fellow he actually disliked him. The scam Fellow first attempted to pull on him was one that tends to target vulnerable people, so he automatically assumed that was specifically who he was targeting. Tilly dislikes things like that, which is why he takes money from people who can afford to lose it. This is why he immediately throws it back in his face and gets him in trouble.

In general, for the first three months he harasses Fellow, it’s because he’s actually worried about Gidel. In his experience, adults tend to use, hurt, and abandon kids when it becomes inconvenient to take care of them. He doesn’t initially believe Fellow is genuinely able to care for Gidel, and his “jokes” about “stealing” him are completely serious at first. All his bribes to Gidel of food and toys and whatever else are Tilly’s way of attempting to say “I’d take care of you if this guy doesn’t”.

Tilly in general is very protective of anyone he views as in a similar situation to him. It’s why he lets people pickpocket him and pretends not to notice, it’s why he gives food up to people sometimes, it’s why he will happily hand over a jacket to any struggling kid. When he was a kid he actually started giving some of his food to the street cats and dogs, even when he couldn’t afford to (and it was pretty common for a teenager Tilly to be seen laying in an alleyway covered in cats lol).

This isn’t to say that he’s a good person, because he very much does not think so. His protective nature extends to people he thinks deserves it, and he doesn’t care what happens to anyone who doesn’t meet that criteria. For a while, Fellow wasn’t included, which is why bothering him was him being an actual nuisance and not just harmless pranks. The “enemies to lovers” part of their dynamic is NOT one sided. Tilly disliked Fellow just as much as Fellow disliked him in the beginning, if not more.

Tilly does not dream of any sort of fantastical life. He doesn’t desire to be rich, or to achieve any amount of success, or to have some sort of grand experience. His only dreams are that one day he will not have to fight to survive, but he views that very much as a dream. His only goal that he views as “realistic” is to have fun sometimes. This is directly opposed to Fellow who consistently dreams of a better life and tries his hardest to make it a reality. They are both opposite ends on a spectrum: Tilly who desires nothing and so frequently accidentally sabotages himself, vs Fellow who desires things so much that he sometimes goes too far in trying to get them.

Their argument about Playful Land is a lot deeper than initially assumed, as well!! For one, Tilly is actually VERY ANGRY at Fellow’s actions. Not only is he sometimes hurting people Tilly views as undeserving of it, but he’s working for someone who Tilly personally despises on principal. It’s like a slap in the face—a betrayal of the mutual trust they’d managed to build. He doesn’t say any of this, though, instead presenting his disapproval as him thinking Fellow and Gidel are “better than that”, and the argument suddenly becomes about Tilly and Fellow’s opposing views on life rather than what he’s actually upset about.

Even when Fellow tells him that he’s “too much effort to take care of”, the reason Tilly leaves is not because the words hurt, but because he thinks they’re RIGHT. At the end of the day, he doesn’t want to cause trouble for Fellow at all—he doesn’t want to make his or Gidel’s life harder. He would have stayed (even with all his personal feelings towards the entire Playful Land scheme) if Fellow hadn’t said that specifically.

Even when they make up, Tilly still doesn’t ever talk about how much the argument actually hurt him. Instead, Fellow ends up piecing it together from multiple conversations and incidents and reveals of Tilly’s past, and then apologizes to him himself. The apology doesn’t really go the way he wants, because Tilly has an unhealthy mindset of “no matter what you say/do to me I’ll stay around as long as you want me”, but it’s a start.

Tilly is just a very, very lonely and desperate person. His first taste of a human connection that might be genuine makes him feel like he’s starving, and he doesn’t ever want to let it go. Fellow has to communicate to him a LOT that there’s certain things he’d never ask him to do, that he shouldn’t ever accept from ANYONE, that he shouldn’t endanger himself to make money for them, that he doesn’t owe him anything… it’s a very long process. They are both very broken people who have endured very hard lives, and neither of them are navigating it well.

[wirewitchviolet]

The Big Lie of Transphobia

There is a lot of really horrifying transphobic stuff going on at the moment, even relative to the baseline. Like arrests and federal repression in the U.S. and don't even get me started on that new policy from Facebook and the propaganda amplification that's going to do. So you may find yourself wondering what you can do to help.

As always the real answer to that is to just give all the money and other material aid you possibly can to every trans person you are personally aware of. Individually. Don't look for a charity to donate to, there really isn't one. Make those patreon pledges and write those checks and empty those wallets and cosign for those houses, go!

But if what you're really asking is, what can you do that won't personally inconvenience you, the best thing you can probably do is to really internalize that the Big Lie backing up all the transphobia out there is a complete lie, and convince everyone else you can too. And what's the Big Lie behind transphobia? "Trans women are men who believe they are women." As usual with these, I'm going to expound on that a ton under the fold here.

It really is the lynchpin of everything transphobes have to push. If you don't believe it, none of the things they're pushing for makes even the slightest bit of sense, but if you DO believe it, even if you aren't all in on the other hate stuff, it's going to warp the hell out of your perspective and make you a crappy ally. And wow is it ever deeply embedded in there.

So for what it's worth, as a reminder, when people make statements like "trans women are women" that is stating an actual fact. That's not some weird feel-good slogan that "really" means "you should treat trans women like they are real women" or something. It's just what we freaking are. We aren't men who have some strange mental illness that makes us think of ourselves as women, we aren't people who start out as men and for some reason make some kind of decision to become women. We're just women, always have been, just like any other woman.

If you've met a number of trans women, you can very clearly and plainly see that's true, but the thing is, most people haven't. And the lie gets pushed damn hard. Most people's idea of what a trans woman is, and for that matter, most other things about life, comes from what they see in TV and movies and the like, and on those occasions where a work of fiction features someone they'll call a trans woman, they tend to get some dude to put on a dress to play the part, which is usually also some sort of weird crazy murderous sex worker. Movies and TV also tend to depict cars as prone to burst into massive fireballs if anything goes wrong with them, glass windows as something you can jump through without being sliced up so badly by the shards you're basically going to die instantly, police as caring helpful people who try to solve crimes and return people's stolen stuff and such, and people with albinism as having strange magical powers. None of this is actually true in reality.

So yeah, it's not even a little bit true. If you look at the people who insist the loudest that it is, you'll notice they are completely out of touch with reality and preach all kinds of ridiculous BS. Get it into your head that there isn't even a sliver of truth to it, and it's easier to get on the right side of a lot of things.

Are trans women trustworthy? Yeah? I mean, as much as the next person. Why wouldn't we be? Because some freaking weirdo is sharing all kinds of weird conspiracy theories and setting up weird freaking stalker shrines about us? Pretty clear who it is you shouldn't be trusting there.

Is it OK for trans women to play sports? Yeah? Why would that even be a problem? We don't have superpowers or anything. We're just regular freaking women. Well OK a lot of us have pretty nasty health problems leaving us a bit less physically fit than most women, but you know, doing athletic stuff should help with that.

Is it OK for trans women to use public restrooms? Yeah? Like honestly, I know a lot of guys get weird about women going to the bathroom in groups sometimes but there's nothing sinister about that, just sometimes you need to pull someone aside to ask if you can borrow some embarrassing thing or double check makeup or check if someone's date is as big a creep as they come off and you need to run interference. Mostly though people just need to pee sometimes, and society generally prefers that people do so in a toilet and not the street or whatever.

What about children being trans? Like... everyone's a child at some point? A lot of the downsides to being trans come from associated medical issues which can be totally prevented if spotted early, so it's actually very good to have kids look out for whether they might be dealing with those and get the appropriate medication, which is true for basically anything.

Well what about [whatever stupid BS derailment]? Yeah I'm addressing a group of people who actually need to have it explained to them that women are in fact women and not men, let's not go confusing people with whatever weird sidetrack you want to get onto.

[ensemblesongs]

I gotta say I’m really disappointed that you have decided to partake in this ridiculous boycott that is built on lack of research and racism. I can’t find it in myself to support someone who openly supports hate towards the Ryukyuan people and Japanese people. I wish you the best in real life but I strongly urge you to do proper research before blindly following the wolves in sheep’s clothing who pretend to care about racial discrimination.

I understand why you might feel this way. I'm sure that there are misguided people amongst the bunch, or people who are only participating in a performative way. But what Happy Elements has done felt malicious and hurt me and many others with their lack of consideration for long-term fans, and most importantly, their lack of sensitivity. Do you not see the issues in how this narrative is being handled...? I'm uncertain on what you mean by hate towards Japanese people. Addressing the country's past, and the company's failures, is not hating on an entire ethnic group. Maybe you've seen things on social media that I haven't. If you'd like, you can give me more of your perspective to enlighten me. The plea for me to research is also a little vague...💦

Real-life Ryukyuan (and Ainu, who are not the same, but have shared a similar pain), and other indigenous people have expressed support of this boycott, what about their perspective? Does it not matter? They don't speak for every single one, but I think it's worth taking into consideration, nonetheless. I'm not blindly following anyone, even if there are people that I trust more than I trust myself when it comes to knowledge on certain topics because they know more than I do, I have tried to do my own research, too — and I know that Ibuki's story is reflective of that of the experience of many real Ryukyuan people, a choice that they make themselves. I have a more hopeful view about this situation than most. Still, I do not trust Happy Elements with this decision due to their history of actual racism and failure to address these subjects with the necessary care, though I see their attempts to in stories like Matrix. (Which is a story I don't hate nearly as much as the average person does and don't see as OOC, either, and only really found problems with the Takashi subplot being unnecessary and the village's plot-twist. The wave of hate over a story most didn't even read themselves was quite peculiar. This is different.)

There is a clear bias in the writing room as seen in many other stories, even when it isn't hatred there is a feeling that there's more fascination towards the subject of racial minorities than care, and this was the final straw for many fans. I don't think it's wrong for Rinne to be written to have internalized racism, even if it's being written by Japanese authors. Similarly, I am not upset at the concept of Ibuki being involved with AKATSUKI. I was actually excited at the prospect of them interacting more, I'm more so upset at the execution and the imperialist undertones which are all too expected from a careless company like they have been for years. Not just that, but even if it wasn't racist, the desecration of AKATSUKI, a group that has been there since the beginning, with an utterly mischaracterized story that dumbs them down to their past selves and breaks promises the real Keito had made, and how HE continues to puppet their mangled corpses around for all to see, and the hatred Ibuki and possibly Chiaki Kobayashi will have to face because of this decision, one they knew no one would like, would remain. Not to mention, their audacity in trying to make the audience feel bad for disagreeing with this, making the characters say things along the lines of, "I'm sure fans will be upset".

I'm someone who loves Ansta. Deeply. I never aligned with people who hate it while being into it and always tried to have hope. So, I take my criticism of it seriously. When it comes to my activity on here, I'm doing the same I have for years, and I just thought people who are participating, and mean well, would benefit from what I post. I appreciate your kind wishes and I wish you well, too. Thank you for having supported Ensemble Songs.

[slut4megantheestallion]

Hey can you do cullen x reader headcannons where the reader ghosts them and ignores all the messages and ignores them in school and stuff like that? it’s okay if not!

Cullen siblings x reader that ghosts & ignores them Headcannons

Warnings ⚠️: stalking mentioned of mind reading, cullens x reader, maybe some fluff, angst, black!reader, obsessivnesss.

Characters ☆: Edward cullen, Alice cullen, Emmet cullen, Rosalie cullen, Jasper cullen.

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-Edward Cullen

● Edward is instantly intrigued when he realizes he can't read your thoughts. To him, that's already unusual, but what really catches his attention is the way you avoid him and his family.

● He tries to figure you out what makes you tick - listening intently to your conversations with others, hoping for clues about why you're ignoring him

● Edward uses his mind reading ability to hear the thoughts of people around you, looking for any insights about you. It frustrates him when nothing adds up to you. Most people's thoughts about you are mundane or superficial, leaving him with no answers about you.

● Edward finds himself shadowing you more than he cares to admit, trying to learn more about you from a distance. He tries to act like it's just harmless curiosity, though deep down, he knows it bordering on obsession.

● He'll linger near your locker of eavesdrop on your conversation in the cafeteria, always careful to stay undetected.

● He would send polite text messages asking if he does anything to offend you, but when you don't respond, he starts over analyzing everything.

● He thinks about using his vampire speed to catch you off guard, but he doesn't want to scare you off.

● if you accidentally bump onto him the hallway and mutter an apology with meeting his eyes, his cold, undead heart flicks of warmth. He becomes fixiated on earning a silver of attraction. Though he's deeply conflicted about his growing obsession.

-Alice Cullen

● Alice was genuinely baffled by your behavior. She's used to everyone liking her, so your avoidance to her is both confused and challenging to her. She had visions of you interacting with the cullens and becoming part of their circle, which only fuels her determination to get close to you.

● She would wave at you across the cafeteria at lunch or try to sit near you, hoping you would acknowledge her.

● Alice would send you cheerful and polite text messages, trying to start conversation, but when you don't respond, she gives up. She'll try again with something like, "Hey, just wanted to say hi!"

● After weeks of being ghosted, she starts questioning if she did something to offend you. She would try to win you over until you notice her

● Alice would leave small, thoughtful gifts in your locker - a book she thinks you'd like, a handmade bracelet, or a note with a kind message. When you ignore her gestures, she becomes more determined, viewing it as a puzzle she needs to solve.

● If you so much smile in her direction, Alice feels like she won the lottery. She'll immediately text edward or tell jasper gushing about the tiny interaction.

-Emmet Cullen

●At first, he doesn't take your avoidance seriously. He thinks it's funny and treats it like a game, trying to get a reaction out of you. He'll do ridiculous things in class, like make exaggerated noises or cracking jokes loud enough for you to hear, just to see if you acknowledge him.

● if you ignore him in the hallway, Emmet might pretend to trip or dramatically gasp, saying something like, "Oh no, Y/n, you've wounded me again by ignoring my existence!" He genuinely enjoys the challenge of getting you to notice him and sees it as an opportunity to show off his charm.

●Despite his playful nature, he's extremely protective. He secretly keeps his eyes on you, ready to step in if someone bothers or upset you. He doesn't understand why he feels so attached to someone who barely acknowledges his existence, but he can't help it.

● on rare occasions, you ignoring him stings. He hides it well, but he starts to wonder if there's something wrong with him or if he's done something to upset you, hoping it's not because you dislike him.

-Rosalie Cullen

●Rosalie assumes you're ignoring her and her family out of jealousy or hatred. She takes it personally and brushes you off as someone who's unworthy of her time. However, as weeks went by, you began to intrigue her. She wonders what makes you different from everyone else.

● She admires the way how confident and independent you are, though she'll never admit it. She finds the way you ignore people both impressive and frustrating. She tries to engage small talk with you, like complimenting your outfit or asking about an assignment, but your dry short responses leave her both annoyed and intrigued.

● extremely overprotective. If she overhears anyone talk bad about you, she'll shut it down. She might not understand why she feels the need to defend you, but she will not tolerate anyone disrespecting you.

● if you do acknowledge her like a small smile, a thank you, or a brief conversation- Rosalie feels an unexpected warmth. It's rare for her to feel genuinely happy, but your attention sparks something in her that she didn't know she craved.

-Jasper Cullen

● Honestly, out of all his siblings, he's the most understanding. He doesn't take it personally and respects your desire to be alone, but he can't help but be curious about your emotional state, especially since you're so calm and composed.

●He tries to subtly influence your emotions, hoping to catch a glimpse of what you're feeling. When his attempts don't seem to affect you, he's both impressed and puzzled. He starts to admire emotional resilience and wonder what makes you so different from everyone else.

● he's quietly overprotective, often wanting to be near you during school events or crowded spaces. He tells himself it's just to make sure you're safe, but deep down, he's drawn to you in a way he can't even explain.

● He worries that his interest in you is selfish, especially given his past. He feels guilty, wanting to be near you, fearing he might bring danger to your life.

● if you do ever notice him jasper with a kind gesture, he feels a quiet sense of peace. He'll treasure those rare moments and hold onto them longer than he should.