#about being prepared. not perfect.
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i need her.
#genuinely considering Crafting this.#a beautiful giant multi tool#…. i feel like it is mean to also work as sort of sledge hammer. but i think it’s leverage would be weird#but i have ideas for slight modifications.#a kvalsund kr+3 multi-tool. if you will#uwu#disco elysium#i do believe it’s hand hold would make it a good hammer for regular nails tho. if a bit clunky.#but multi tools aren’t about the fullest ability of one tool.#they’re about having the right tool for any sudden job that may appear.#about being prepared. not perfect.#sorrrry i think she is so sexy#🤤🤤🤤#kvalsund kr+2 multi-tool#AND SHE HAS A LEVEL.#sorry i forgor.#but the plan is to use. maybe a dowl base. with an actual level attached. cardboard frame. extra handle for extra leverage#next to level#the level will of course have more than one angle. 👍#also maybe would be cool to make the actual tool#and putting extra tools in it.#like a pocket multitool
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Last post on the episode, I promise.
I think Isaac really did love Nigel, but I also think Isaac's idea of a romantic relationship might be based on a fantasy, or an unrealistic ideal. Like he calls off the wedding after Pete's speech about Donna, but that was about the excitement of meeting someone new, not about a long-term relationship. There are ups and downs; it's not just a perfect fairytale all the time. And it takes work, you know? Work that we know Nigel was prepared to do, and had in fact been doing, when he revealed what Isaac's wedding present was going to be.
If the plan is to show us Isaac slowly falling (back) in love with Nigel as a person, and not just a fantasy, I'd be down with that. It would also be pretty satisfying to see him having another freak out about confessing a second time - especially if at that point he's no longer sure if Nigel feels the same way anymore.
One last thing: I've seen people hating on Nigel for not saying anything when he apparently always suspected that Isaac was moving too fast. (And I do mean hate, like people calling him abusive and stuff, not just mild dislike.) But the reason seems pretty obvious to me? Nigel was (is) in love. He may not have expected Isaac to propose so soon, but Nigel wanted to marry the guy, so - he said yes when he was asked. Just because he's been with a lot of people doesn't necessarily mean he's any wiser about relationships than Isaac is.
#cbs ghosts#nisaac#nigel chessum#isaac higgintoot#nigel's not perfect and I don't want him to be#but sometimes it feels like people are holding him to a higher standard than isaac#they both contributed to the way things ended up#and having a lot of sex only prepares you for having more sex#not for being in love#ftr I have no time for Nigel haters and will just block people who post that shit#but talking about his flaws is a-ok
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Lovers that leave.
Or how the Curufinwës’ destroy their relationships with their self-worth issues.
I was thinking about the concept of while Curufin tries to be Fëanor he is more like Nerdanel and it led me here. Nerdanel and Curufin being the ones that saw beyond the surface of Fëanor and Finrod, two restless spirits that can’t not leave to follow their beliefs.
But the one thing Curufin can’t escape being like his dad is the fear of never being enough and how it leads to their own destruction.
#i had a bigger speech prepared#should’ve written it down#you can clearly see where i got a better result lmao#the parallels i can give them 😈#that one post about finrod being a little like feanor is so perfect#silmarillion#feanorians#the silmarillion#curufinrod#curufin#finrod felagund#finrod#my art#nerdanel#feanor/nerdanel#feanor#silm#i like drawing Curufin in green#sort of he changes colors to match with finrod#i don’t know what is going on with Finrod outfit either#one of his rings is supposed to be a swan#it barely looks like a duck
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if clay is third-wheeling for everyone i wouldn’t mind taking them out instead teehee:3
Clay raises an eyebrow, somewhat skeptical of the stranger. They didn't seem too opposed to the idea, however.
"Uh... I mean, can't be too bad, can it?" they mumble, shoving their hands into their pockets. "'S long as you're not a dick, o' course."
Just don't think about roping them into 'any of that sex stuff'. It's not their thing. Also prepare your ears for incredibly loud punk music that they WILL introduce to you (knowing you, you'd absolutely love their band).
#clay mayde#angel answers#oc#my oc#oc ask blog#ask blog#ask me anything#I knew clay would be the perfect partner when I created them#I simp too don't worry#just prepare yourself for them being tsundere about their affection and love
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cr3 is gonna end and the pc’s still feel like the same people to me :|
(crcritical content in the tags feel free to skip)
#cr spoilers#cr critical#the pacing of this campaign was shot to shit from the start and i really hope mercer learns from this and takes it into account for cr4#i actually think they need to do mini seasons like d20 does. not in the way that they’re all completely separate from one another but#the way the unsleeping city had multiple seasons or a crown of candy or fantasy high. connected arcs in a bigger story#it would give mercer more time to plan and pace things and would give both cast and crew more time to prepare things#bc this campaign was. frantic. just full speed ahead with no breathing room. it’s a marathon sprint#i still feel like the initial assault on the key was like. maybe a few months ago#IT WAS A YEAR!!!!#what do you MEAN this campaign took place over five months!!! these people don’t know each other!!!! I don’t know them!!!!!!#VM knew each other for YEARS TM9 traveled for a YEAR together#CR3 viewers have been talking about a time skip happening as though it’s a guarantee!!! TM9 didn’t end with a time skip and guess what!!#It was a good ending!!! Maybe a few loose threads but they were easily touched upon later with no issues#like idk ppl are allowed to like or even love cr3 i have no issue with that. i just think that from a storytelling perspective it’s just#so poorly paced and i think both fans and players deserve better than to be thrown into world ending stakes immediately#the initial assault on the malleus key felt like an endgame event and it was like fifty episodes in. Tm9 got to xhorhas around episode 50#characters deserve time to marinate. cr3 is a pressure cooker#don’t even get me started on braius’ inclusion. sam i’m sure your character is cool and complicated but he’s been here for like 20 eps#i dont know this man#also i feel like shorter seasons/separate arcs woven together would account more for people’s personal lives and any medical issues#like what happened with sam. ppl were hounding him asking for his return meanwhile he was being treated for CANCER like I can’t imagine#dealing with that kind of pressure. players deserve privacy however they can get it.#(also fgc’s death is to me the only narratively satisfying thing to happen in cr3 i’m not kidding#fucking perfect setup and execution. exquisitely done on mr riegel’s part#laudna has also had some great story beats along with imogen but i think matt fucked up making delilah come back i really do)#anyway all the love to the cr crew and cast if you see this ily and your stories i just think pacing needs to be taken into account#“they’re just friends sitting at a table playing dnd” i don’t think they are anymore actually#obviously they’re still friends playing dnd but like. cr3 feels so produced and i dont mean that in a good way :[ it feels so corporate#off topic i am SO FUCKING EXCITED for the switch to daggerheart! I think it’ll really breathe some new light and life into exandria!!!
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posty by himself for now but hello again im drawing sky ship things!!
#vash the stampede#Perfect Blue by Softcult is just cementing it really!!!#that song is in my lungs#Softcult girl vash real to ME#trimax spoilers beyond these tags!!#emilio is really devastating me in a particular way..#his design and pitch being so sillyvillain. but then it’s like a goob situation where the bowler hat man is the little guy who was your#little buddy!! he was a buddy!!!!#and you used to know him as a little buddy. and you haven’t seen him in years and years. and now he’s wrinkled and making his pain violent#and nothing can prepare you for the day you have to incapacitate him and beg him to endure his pain#last time you saw him he was trying to make something beautiful. and NOW#he’s unrecognizable to everyone but you and he’s made something terrible and wants to die. and he’s very scared of you. and of everything#and there is nothing you can say or do. I FELT vash thinking about that all recovery period. MAN.#ANYWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#trigun#trimax#trigun maximum#sketchies#saintprivateerart#saintprivateer#alt text
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with respect to myself, this whole “i need to wait till i’m out of school to date,” “i need to wait till i’m more historically, politically, and culturally educated to date” is all bullshit. it’s the top surgery. that’s the holdup. they chop these tits off and i’m ready to go.
#for the record - i still think that those first two things are the WISEST course of action#but i’m just saying that i don’t think anyone could hold me back if the opportunity arises#because the top surgery thing is my real hangup#because that would be a LOT to go through with someone in a new relationship and i would rather Not#so it’s better to wait#and i have a feeling that MY confidence will increase a ton in the aftermath as well#i’ll FINALLY be able to dress how i want holy SHIT#no more needless layering and strategically shapeless flannels#thank GOD#and in the meantime i’ll just keep trying to learn as much as i can on the way there!#so that i’m as prepared as possible whenever the moment comes along#i’m really working on not being mean to myself about not knowing things#nobody comes into the world with this knowledge#and i was not given the resources growing up that encouraged me to learn these things#just because some people had parents or friends who introduced them to things when they were younger or grew up in cultural centers#doesn’t make them cooler or better than me#i am educating myself now and that is what is important#i enjoy learning and that is what is important#i WILL become my ideal self one day - i am getting better#i am not perfect - i am still fucking up a ton and insecure and stretching myself to the absolute limit#which is why it is probably NOT a good idea to date right now!!!!!!#but who knows… i’ll just go where the road takes me#and see how that works out
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Been doing a lot of thinking lately with peoples obsessions with punishing fictional characters who did bad things and i dont have any coherent thoughts yet but i am like. Are yall ok
#this usnt in reference to anything ive seen recently#but what got me thinking about it was watching mha recently#and remembering The Discourse i saw when it first was big#and specifically about endeavor who did objectively horrible horrible things#but i think his arc when taken in the context of being yknow#a mainstream shonen manga anime#was actually really interesting and well done#not perfect no#but how can it be#i found it really cool that each family member had their own reactions and feelings about things#i liked that he accepted that even if be became a better man it was likely#that his family would moveon and or be happier without him#i like that one of them got to say he was done even after everything that happened#and that he still didnt want his dad in his life#and enji accepted that#and enji SUFFERED#one might say he fucking deserved it but im not in the business of being like people deserved horrible shit#but like#his body was wrecked he went through crazy psychological shit he almost lost his family#he was prepared to die with Touya#he did some fucking terrible shit that is in a lot of ways unforgivable#but he wasnt looking for forgiveness he was just looking to do better#and its so important for us to leave room for even the worst people to change#and so many people are like he didnt syffer enough#and im like ok#what else so you want????#dying is a cop out writing wise#DAMN I HAD MORE BUT APPARENTLY YOU CAN ONLY HAVE 30 TAGS#i am not putting any of this in the main text i dont need that attention
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now when are we going to pull out the literary analysis big guns and talk about how important harry potter is to saltburn’s story and aesthetic???
#like#its the only book any of them are shown reading#the stag imagery#the star tattoos#oxford hogwarts#felix is james and oliver is severus and this is snotter fanfic#saltburn#hp#marauders#BUT ALSO LIKE#i saw someone else complaining that saltburn couldn’t be dark academia bc they were reading hp#but i think it’s perfectly dark academia#like hp there is an over reliance on aesthetics and sentimentality to mask glaring plot holes#and dark academia isn’t actually about Smarts and Ppl Studying it’s about critique elite institutions#a whole year at oxford and felix chooses to reread hp instead of preparing for the next year#(because honestly it doesn’t matter if he even shows up to tutes he’ll at least get a 2.i)#that’s very very on brand#i think there’s also to be said for how much hp is oft called Quintessentially British matching the#Quintessentially Aristocratic Britishness of the Cattons and the Quintessentially class/wealth obsessed Britishness of Oliver#and again again again how deeply flawed hp despite being held up as perfect by some#Fennell was an english student i can’t believe this was just a fluke
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nothing sad but i need to bitch and im tired and need to frow up
#someone's eating mcdonalds on the train. oh the guy next to me actually. i really am gonna throw up#anyway killing god for not giving me perfect pitch ig we're just doing some pathetic sight reading today#then again its not like the third lady is much more than pretty much just a continuous bass line but there are Words too and quite Fast#and idk why im so nervous about Not Being 100% prepared if none of these people ever do their fuckin job.#and i love the third lady more than anything but i do think its a bit of a dick move to make me learn the entire second lady part last time#when i literally begged for the third one. and NOW to be like 'you're doing third lady btw. oh and the queen of the night too btw'#and god i WISH it was because of my incredible primadonna assoluta skills and amazing vocal range lmao#but its just because those other teletubbies cannot be fucking trusted to learn their shit :)))))#the first lady is just. the melody obv so its hard to fuck that one up. and the second is the least important lets be honest#why im suddenly jumping to the queen in the finale is beyond me tho and like sure its nice to finally be allowed to sing a soprano part 🤡#but its so stupid. there's zero consideration for our voice types really. also im tired of doing everyone's job#'oh our zerlina didnt learn her part can you cover for her. oh the soprano is sick but we have a spare mezzo#so can you do norma instead of adalgisa today? yes i know you never sang it before. can you cover the cenerentola too next week?'#DO I LOOK LIKE A FUCKING HORSE#and most of all. do i SOUND like im a good fit for ANY of these roles really? 'oh you know idk what they're telling you but to me it sounds#like you're a beautiful lyric coloratura mezzosoprano' NO SUCH THING BUT THANK YOU.#'you're not a mediocre lyric soprano you're a magical unicorn that shits rainbows' this is what you sound like.#its not about my skills its about me knowing all this shit by heart and being willing to be used ig and it's just. god.#im not even getting paid for this 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡
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sometimes when i get stuck in my own head and doubts i wonder if a shepherd is the right choice but then i think about it, and there is nearly nothing, if anything at all that i, in theory, dislike about those dogs. i could make a whole list. hell you could make a list and i'd go through and be like, yeah, i'll take that.
#mine#i know it will be a wild ride and maybe one day i'll even be proven wrong about what i just said but for now. yeah. i'll stick to it#i want a dog that will take me out into the world and lead me to opportunities and experiences i would've never even thought of on my own#and like. i am expecting some struggles. i know things wont be perfect all the way through it would be silly to think they would be#but its a challenge im willing to take on and doing my best to prepare for#i will give my world for this future dog#and all the ones that will come after as well because i cant imagine my life without a dog by choice tbh#i know i sound dramatic but !!! i feel very strongly about this !!!#i've also had this nagging feeling that people all around me disapprove of this decision/goal/want#but i've got to live a little and stop being so preoccupied about what people that i dont even know think#i'll take feedback but not just from anyone#a lot of rambling this evening but god i just love dogs so much i love dutchies so much. i think calling it a passion would be appropriate
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Vent: tw: torture in tags
I know that something is wrong. But there's nothing I can do about it right now.
#cheeseburgerboy#it really distresses me. i can't function well not knowing.#i know I know#i sometimes think. what if im wrong.#but i cast it away. because im so scared. i don't know what ill do. but im concerned.#i hate not being able to do much. but being closer may not be a good thing.#i fear everyday. when i comes. i think to myself. what will i do.#will i try really hard and still end up in the same place? will things change? and can they? is it even possible?#im not one to give up on another person. even if im not there. i continuously think about people. it doesnt go away.#i know.#the people ive known will sporadically pop in.#it is stressful.#i fear for my life in a way. worried ill have to suffer it all over again. but prepared to have my life ruined for another person again.#i think about this being my life. sometimes believing in a perfect world i am being tutored. and i am then able to watch myself struggle#like that. but for real this time.#maybe i wouldn't get anything from it. and i shouldn't. but i can't help but feel like im meant to walked over and mistreated. because#how else could you be lifted up. if not for myself being dimmed#i know its loser like. but.
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on one hand i'm glad the aquafam aren't as popular as the batfam for a multitude of reasons. on the other hand if i can't read 50 new metas a day about garth i might choke
#OUGHHHHH#need a 20 page essay on garth and letifos STAT#they shouldve been endgame...#im so serious about that#listen i love dolphin dont get me wrong but i really do think him being with letifos wouldve made more sense#im prepared to defend this but no ones gonna ask alhdglj#dont worry guys the video essay in my head is perfect rn
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i think it is probably a sign of the process of healing from the trauma of having every word out of my mouth ripped apart, mocked, and treated as an unforgivable offense warranting Extreme Rage and Vitriol, and having it explained to me in excruciating and hateful detail why my thought processes and basic turns of phrase and the things i thought were worth expressing were stupid worthless gibberish, unbearable to listen to, and the root of everything wrong with society, by redditor-ass faux-intellectuals in my life growing up for being awkwardly phrased/not concise enough/mildly whimsical, that some days i'm proud of my meta and some days i can barely stand to look at it. but god that does not make the second one more fun.
#whosebaby talks#personal stuff#abuse cw#ableism cw#gaslighting cw#it says something that i considered just leaving this in my drafts solely for being an awkwardly phrased; probably hard-to-read run-on#when that is literally what the post is about lol#and i will count it as a victory that i caught myself went fuck that and posted it anyway#it is not morally wrong to speak awkwardly#doing my best to be clear about important distinctions and concepts in the ideas i am expressing is not synonymous with#'sound polished and perfect; sound like a professional lecturer reading off a prepared speech'#'never write a sentence someone may have to reread a couple times; never use a word too many times; never use a cliche turn of phrase'#and it's also not synonymous with 'never express a feeling or use a metaphor; or talk about an idea of any complexity'#'or say things that are Obvious(tm)'#i believe i am good at expressing ideas and the ideas i feel are worth expressing matter.#believing that; so i can do my best to work to live up to it; is an active choice.#i have chosen to believe based on the evidence available to me that i make a hell of a lot more sense than it feels like#on days when the people who have claimed i'm unintelligible in bad faith; because i talk in a way that's easy to *make* unintelligible#if you know where to strike to throw me off and keep me from pulling an idea together#are loud in my ear#but like. it's okay. It is Okay. to express yourself and fucking be awkward about it.#it's okay to be Emotional in a way that's not the Current Acceptable Style. it's okay to use lots of heavy emphasis#it's okay to repeat yourself. it's okay to sound Pretentious(tm) and it's okay to sound 'childish' and it's okay to run on sentences#and a thousand other things. the things you have to say do not matter less for it and you have no less right to attempt it#you're not stupid or unbearable; it's not a waste of people's time to listen or make the effort to understand you#and it's not entitled of you to expect them to damn well try. it is not on you to do all the labor of chewing their food up for them#so they don't have to meet you halfway. you shouldn't have to put up with people being lazy dismissive assholes bc you're at a disadvantage#which like. i say this for myself; but if you're reading these tags and you needed to hear someone say any of it; it's for you too#fuck em. you're allowed to talk.
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You guys are so lucky im at work right now and cant get screenshots I have a insane peacemaker in bb2006 post in my brain but it requires screenshots.
#basically another reason i think he was perfect for being Jaime's mentor#you know how in bb2006 theres that bit where he tells Jaime he cares too much and itll kill him#and in the same scene tells him to be prepared to die to save other people#and Jaime later feeling guilty about not saving enough people in the typhoon issue#//insert screenshots of those panels of peacemaker hitting himself because he thinks he didnt save enough people//#//insert that time he killed himself to finish the eclipso mission and save others (as well as because he was-#-suicidal anyway//#everyones lucky right now.
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Fuck I reached 30 tags I guess that got us rambling
For full context I guess read those first cuz I'm not putting all that here again
We got started on mythology and bitch were not close to being done
What I was about to put in another tag was:
I'm interested but I'm not gonna read scientific papers on mythology sorry Africa and Oceania...
European is just the easiest to come by and most relatable mythology. Being. A filthy European.
Although I'd love to hear more shit about mythologies that are more exotic to us
And no. I don't mean japanese. That's barely exotic at this point.
No I'm not reading journey to the west again either.
I could go on for so long honestly I fucking love mythology with a passion I wish I had more energy and patience to get deeper into it
But yeah no I'm not sitting down reading research papers or ancient texts that aged horribly for hundreds of hours
At least not with these mental illnesses I'm not
i made a character uquiz. i 100% promise you that you will get a character you know AND like
#THERES SO MANY COOL RESULTS AND YOU GIMME NICK CAGE#MOTHERFUCK-#i hate this#theres literally morgan le fay in there#AND MEDEA#listen who the fuck even knows who medea is#i do#thats the fuck who#and i did not get her#BUT NICOLAS CAGE#OKAY BITCH#I HAVE NEVER PLANNED A PERFECT MURDER BEFORE BUT OH IT IS ON NOW#PREPARE TO FACE THE WRATH OF A WOMAN THAT LOVES EVIL MYTHICAL (and historical) WOMEN#i will drain your blood into a tub and take a nice bath in it#i will string you up on the high gates of babylon#i will throw you into the depths of irkalla and judge you to eternal death#you will long for the pain of tartarus#nothing heracles has endured will hold a candle to your suffering#(ah shit referenced greek mythology twice already? fuck im getting out of practice...)#i will show you why we fancy the name of Nemesis#...okay listen greek and mesopotamian mythology are just the most interesting ones.#greek is the most popular so just easy to come by greek mythology content#and mesopotamian is just the oldest mythology that we have decemt records of as far as im aware#i like other stuff too but its harder to find stuff about it#and tbh chinese and japanese would be the next easiest but i just cant connect with them as well#(despite being a fucking weeb)#celtic is hard to get started on and so is nordic and slavic#then native american inca aztec etc are hard to relate for us again. somehow just doesnt click#indian is kinda neat. should get more into that#a lot of stuff from africa oceania etc is neat but near impossible to come by without actively looking
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