ask-the-parabalis-gang

[ask-the-parabalis-gang]

Does Clay like working at the arcade?

“I mean, it’s pretty fun,” Clay says, nodding. “Place’s got nice vibes. Not too hard to get stuff done, either… I like to play some of the games once I get done my shifts. Try and beat Poly’s high scores. That’ll show him. I’m better than him anyway, he just needs to realize that. Fuckin’ bastard… they’re the only downside to working at the arcade. Sometimes it’s enough to make me want to quit, but I never do. It’s too nice there.”

[ask-the-parabalis-gang]

patchy you should have this awesome ethically produced energy drink

“An energy drink?” Patchy tilts her head. “I’ve never had one of these before, actually! I’ve seen Clay drink some of these before, though, and they seem to like them a lot! Thank you so much, I’d love to try it!”

She accepts the drink with a warm smile, cracking it open and taking a sip from it. The next thing you know, she has ascended beyond the human comprehensions of hyperness and is now running in figure eights on the ceiling whilst stimming and twitching.

Actually, depending on the flavor, she might like it - however, she wouldn’t drink many, if any at all, knowing the health risks of them. She often reprimands Clay for having a borderline addiction to them, but they never listen.

[ask-the-parabalis-gang]

hi pith here's a ginger cat bc i think you'd like a ginger cat

Pith stares at the proffered ginger cat with wide eyes. “For- For me?” she gasps, raising a few fingers to press against her mouth as she steps forward. “Are you serious?”

She reaches out with her other hand, gently stroking the cat’s fur and sniffling slightly - no one had ever given her something with this much impact before. “Oh my goodness, I’ve wanted a cat for so long… thank you so much. This is so amazing. It’s so soft…”

She and the cat then curl up on the couch with a warm cup of tea and a journal and nap for hours.

[ask-the-parabalis-gang]

put poly in a cardboard box with glow worms in them <3

soz the insect rant made me cave a little

“What the FUCK-!” Poly shrieks as they get shoved unceremoniously into a cardboard box. He starts pounding at the walls, trying to punch a hole through them. “Let me OUT OF- oh my god are these GLOW WORMS HOLY SHIT LOOK AT THEM THEY’RE SO PRETTTYYYYYYYY”

He picks up some of the glow worms, holding them gently in their hands and staring down at them in fascination. These are definitely some to add to his collection - if he ever got out of this goddamn cardboard box, that is. He resorts to crying and biting the cardboard like the rat that he is.

They’ve slept in cardboard before. The feeling of it brings back unpleasant memories.

[ask-the-parabalis-gang]

It hurts me to actually be somewhat civil with Poly instead of dropping a piano on him- don't look up by the way. But what's poly's favorite kind of insect?

Poly doesn’t know how to react to the question. No one’s ever asked them anything like that before.

“Uh-” He blinks, stammers, then quickly puts back on his suave front again. “Well, they’re not technically insects, but I do like spiders. I have a whole section of my collection dedicated to all the different kinds I’ve found - now, as far as real insects go, I also like collecting moths and butterflies. Put some color on the boards, y’know? Oh, they’re so pretty… but they’re all my favorites, y’know? Every bug I’ve got - and it’s an impressive collection, if I say so myself - in a way, they’re like my friends.”

He’s barely restraining from inviting you over to look at his insect collection. They don’t want to seem desperate just yet.

[ask-the-parabalis-gang]

oh nooooo oh noooo i accidentally just dropped a stick of dynamite into poly's bedroom. oh noooooo it's lit. oh nooo

Bold of you to assume that Poly has a bedroom.

Angst aside they get fucking blown up and Clay and Patchy and Pith have an easier life thank God you did the world a favor :D

[ask-the-parabalis-gang]

hey poly you should step on that not-suspicious giant red X over there

“You know what? Fuck it!” Poly huffs, crossing his arms in front of his chest as he storms forward onto the totally not-suspicious giant red X. “I’ll do it! I’m not a fucking pussy! Watch me, bitch, watch me-”

Poly then gets crushed by a comically large anvil and fucking dies. The world rejoices.

[ask-the-parabalis-gang]

Mwah 😘 /p

WEEPING /pos

Mwahs you back /p

[ask-the-parabalis-gang]

Does orgon have a favorite animal? Or perhaps a least favorite?

He used to like dogs. Still has a soft spot for them. Patchy’s family used to own a dog that was friendly with him, up until the Event; it became very wary and fearful of him after that, so he never got to see it. No matter how much he hid it, Patchy could tell that it upset him.

Then there’s deer. He fucking hates deer. Scared shitless of them. His elafiphobia stems mainly from learning about CWD and the fact that very little is known about prion diseases. The Event didn’t help much with that, since a deer was involved with what killed him. Other than deer I’d say anything that lives in the ocean, which is something he doesn’t fuck with either.

[ask-the-parabalis-gang]

does pith like tea? She seems the type

Pith nods slowly. “I don’t think there’s anything like curling up with a warm cup of tea and a journal after a long day,” she muses, a small, rare smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. “I’ve always enjoyed tea. It’s quite calming, most of the time.”

Now all she needs is a cat, and her life will be complete.

[ask-the-parabalis-gang]

i want to see poly trip on their own shoe laces and fall flat on their face <3

Poly yelps at the impact, skidding across the ground slightly. A low whine escapes him as he clutches at his damaged face with a hand, looking around wildly to see if anyone noticed his fall.

“Stop LAUGHING at me!” he shrieks indignantly, curling into a rather pathetic ball on the ground as he snivels. “Motherfucker- you’ll pay, you’ll PAY-!”

There may or may not be a dead insect in your toothbrush when you get home.

[ask-the-parabalis-gang]

THERE IS NOTHING BETTER THAN HAVING A PLOT COME TOGETHER.

All I had were a bunch of unconnected dots bouncing in my head like DVD logos that always miss the corners. But now that I wrote those dots out and am ordering them to my liking I’m putting together a readable plot???

Who knew that actually doing the writing process will cause the writing to come together. Holy shit.

[ask-the-parabalis-gang]

can I give clay a fistbump they're so cool

Clay gladly returns the fist bump, a hint of a warm smile on their face as they nod.

“Thanks, pal,” they say, glancing down at the ground. “I don’t get that too often. You’re cool n’ stuff too, I guess. I dunno.”

Don’t pay their tsundere-ness any mind. They mean what they say.

[ask-the-parabalis-gang]

Orgon’s voiceclaim is Springtrap /hj

Also THE CHARACTER SHEETS HAVE NEW AESTHETICS AND THEY’RE EPIC AND COOL GO CHECK THEM OUT /nf

[ask-the-parabalis-gang]

Does Cal have a favorite type of car?

“Hmm… that’s a good question.” Cal rubs his chin thoughtfully. “I drive a pickup truck myself, a Chevy Silverado, made a couple years ago. It’s got a powerful engine, good gas mileage, all the good stuff. I do like the Ford F-series models too…”

He shrugs a little. “I’ve seen and worked with a lot of different cars as a mechanic, but I like those the most. I tend to stay away from Toyotas, though… not the best brakes…”

There’s more to the story than he’s letting on.

[ask-the-parabalis-gang]

patchy my girlie they could never make me hate you <3

Patchy’s absolutely floored by the statement, but the surprise quickly gives way to excitement. She bounces on the balls of her feet, bringing her hands up to her mouth as she lets out a squeal.

“Oh my goodness- you’re too kind! They could never make me hate you either!” she managed to say through her uncontrollable giggling.

[ask-the-parabalis-gang]

what the flip is poly's deal

Short answer: Mommy issues.

Long answer: He doesn’t have a good home situation, and takes it out on others. His family’s extremely poor, and his mother (who he has a deep emotional attachment to) is actually an awful person to him and everyone else, which he learned from. Think Clay from Moral Orel with his dad. Pith was a ray of hope for them but they fucked it up by becoming obsessive, worsening her schizophrenia, and stalking her to the point where she’s threatened a restraining order on them.

They hate themself, but instead of wishing he could get better he makes everyone else’s lives worse just like his own because he thinks he’s entitled to do so. I fucking hate him so much why did I curse them to be hot.