#about a scapegoat who should be the golden child

[kittygirl2210]

Stan Pines falls into the "second child" trap (small discussion brought to you by a second child)

Stan Pines discussion and why I think that he falls into the "second child" trap: courtesy of a second child. This is mostly based off of show details, I haven't brushed up on Lost Legends in a second. I believe Stan is the second twin and also second born child (if we say Shermie is younger than them, I'd put him as only a few years younger). A lot of adultification and pressure, which happens A LOT with first born children, is put on Ford by their parents, especially Filbrick, especially when it comes to get ting them out of the financial situation they're in and he wants Ford to "make it big" (evidence that I feel supports this same line of thinking is when Stan gets angry at Ford for " selfishly hoarding" his college money). Stan becomes the scapegoat second child, who is ALWAYS wrong no matter what, while Ford's the "golden child", who is infallible and never does anything wrong. Since we know very little about Shermie, I am at present putting him in the "baby of the family" category, who usually is doted upon and is sometimes seen as a "replacement" to the scapegoat second child. Shermie, however, is very much a weird outlier in this discussion.

Besides that, Stan seems to suffer from being the middle child, especially considering his actions as an adult. From what I've observed, he craves the validation and attention he did not receive as a kid and turns to reckless behaviour as a result (any attention is good attention). This, I feel, is also seen when Ford returns and refuses to thank him (which I DO think Ford should have thanked him, not to say he was wrong for that in particular), but also when the two family members he was now the closest to seemingly start to dote on Ford. He warns the kids to stay away from Ford because he's a "dangerous know-it-all" (although generally speaking, yes, Ford does wind people up in dangerous situations, there is a clear amount of jealousy expressed from Stan). He ends up running for mayor, because Dipper says Ford could be a good mayor. And when Ford half heartedly thanks him, then corrects his grammar because Ford ALWAYS has to be right, he snaps. Not to say that this isn't an indicator of any other kind of sibling dynamic, but as someone who has been in a sibling situation where children are disproportionately treated, and as the second child, I see a lot of how Stan reacts very similar to how I have felt.

[queen-of-weird-girlboy-nation]

Looking at Jason and Thalia, you’d assume things.

You’d assume that Jason was the family favourite, the golden child, who followed rules in perfect order. The ideal child of Jupiter

Thalia is the scapegoat right? The one who her father hates and would rather had dead. She’s the one who jokes about murdering him. She’s the one who hates his damn guts and is 5 seconds away from overthrowing the dude at all times. Jason would never think of killing his father. It’s against the rules.

So Thalia is the bad child right?

Right???

But it’s weirdly the other way around. Thalia is Zeus’ favourite daughter. He showers her in power ups and affection. He at least tries to love her. He makes an effort with her. She’s the golden child.

Jason is the child he hates. It’s the cycle right? The cycle of son killing father. Jupiter will never let that happen. So Jason, no matter how many rules he invests his life into following, no matter how much he’d be willing to bow down and scrape to his father and give his life for him and live his life in agonising fear of getting struck by lightning by offending him is still very much the scapegoat child.

And Thalia, no matter how much she hates it no matter how much she tries to avoid it and rebel against it is always the perfect golden child in her fathers eyes

@seulgishaku @freddie-77-ao3

[astrolovecosmos]

Sun in the 4th House: Golden child, matriarch or patriarch of the family, attention - seeker, the family artist, everyone in the family's heard of them, the family pride, legacy, identity may revolve around family, FAMILY IS EVERYTHING

Moon in the 4th House: Matriarch vibes or mama bear, the caretaker, strong ancestral connections, the family's counselor, loyalty and tradition matter, provider and/or protector, YOU DON'T TURN YOUR BACK ON FAMILY

Mercury in the 4th House: The family's problem solver, the one to keep everyone connected or up to date, the smart one in the family, knows everyone's business, the tech guru, the organizer, the family historian, FAMILY IS WHERE YOUR STORY BEGINS

Venus in the 4th House: Holidays at their home, keeping the peace, the one to join families together, has the family's talents, gets all the compliments and maybe all the attention, best friends with some family members, IN FAMILY LOVE IS ALL THAT MATTERS

Mars in the 4th House: Head of the household, needs their space, competitive or hot-heated family member, always at the center of conflict or family drama somehow, never runs out of energy or passion, the defender or warrior of the family, FAMILY CELEBRATES THE GOOD TIMES AND GETS YOU THROUGH THE BAD

Jupiter in the 4th House: The family's moral compass, the joker or prankster, the family fool or wise woman/man or sometimes both, bold and productive family member, so generous, open-hearted, making waves or making legends, the lucky family member or maybe the one who always "seems" to have everything handed to them, A FAMILY'S VALUES MATTER

Saturn in the 4th House: The responsible one, provider and protector vibes, the stern or controlling one, taking on all of the family's problems and burdens, cares a lot about what their family thinks, can be distant, strong sense of duty, the reliable one, can be the scapegoat of the family, FAMILY SHOULD BE A SANCTUARY

Uranus in the 4th House: Family rebel, maybe outsider, can be about found family, the weird one, has unconventional family dynamics, detached or separated family member, making new traditions, brings change or new understanding to family, always moving, trendsetter or leading the way, FAMILY LOVES YOU NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE

Neptune in the 4th House: The psychic of the family, the healer or counselor, the sensitive one, the one who might get babied, coddled, or overprotected, the dreamer or artist of the family, may romanticize their family members or dynamics, takes inspiration from family, lack of boundaries, FAMILY IS WHERE LIFE BEGINS AND LOVE NEVER ENDS

Pluto in the 4th House: Intense family member and/or grew up in an intense family, uncovers family secrets, can be the family's healer or therapist, the witch in the family, deeply loyal to family, what happens in the family - stays in the family, empowers others, protective, the possessive or controlling one, is always right, FAMILY IS WHO YOU SHOULD/CAN BE VULNERABLE WITH

Chiron in the 4th House: Healing family or ancestral wounds, breaking cycles, asking questions no one else will, stirs the pot sometimes, family members tend to take their side or goes against them, can be a family scapegoat, the spiritual one, the erratic one, the insightful family member, FAMILY IS WHO'S THERE FOR YOU AT THE END OF THE DAY

[princessmotif]

as i said while discussing iroh as a character, despite the comics being a mess, i feel confident saying that at the end of atla, zuko not only realizes that azula has been harmed too, but he rightfully blames ozai for that harm (although ozai is not solely responsible for traumatizing azula).

as big of a win as that is for the possibility of the fire hazard siblings healing their relationship (zuko absolutely has to take the first step there in my opinon; azula would not be willing to at this point, and their relationship has been unbalanced in terms of care historically), their relationship is still quite tragic even with this realization.

there is no way that zuko actually understands what ozai did to azula. he doesn't even know what ozai did to azula. yes, he knows that ozai abused azula, but zuko only understands and knows abuse as he endured it.

there's also almost no way that azula is going to tell zuko about it. not only would she not want to discuss something so vulnerable in a serious or honest manner (see the way she discusses ursa in the beach), but she's also just had a serious psychotic break. it's very possible that she's not fit to see zuko at all right now, let alone discuss her trauma with him even if she wanted to.

so zuko is left to fill in the blanks about the how of azula's trauma. given his pattern of relating other people's trauma to his even when it's not actually the same (i.e. how he relates katara's trauma about kya being killed during the fire nation's genocide against her culture to his own trauma about ursa's disappearance after committing high treason), he would come to understand and conceive of how ozai abused azula through his own experience with ozai's abuse. while zuko's abuse was clearly always an implicit threat dangled over azula's head ("you can't treat me like zuko!") and ozai absolutely used some of the same tools against her that he did zuko, zuko was ozai's scapegoat child while azula was his golden child. their abuse did not look the same, it did not function the same, and it did not impact them the same.

it's also unlikely that he has the perspective at this stage in his own healing process to apply any of his (false) perceptions of azula's trauma to how it would have shaped both their childhood and his perspective of azula. he probably doesn't even realize just how deeply his perspective of her is colored by ozai's abuse of them both.

furthermore, since he's accepted his recollection of their childhood (which is not his fault. he is a victim of abuse who did not have the means or opportunity, as a young child, to see beyond ozai's more obvious abuse of him, which he couldn't even admit, to notice ozai's more subtle abuse of azula), he likely can only conceive of azula's childhood trauma in two ways:

as the byproduct of his own trauma, existing not because of azula's own traumatic childhood experiences but because of her witnessing his, such as the agni kai

as the product of his exile, occurring because he was no longer physically there for ozai to abuse and thus had to find a new target in azula

the former seems less probable given his belief that azula enjoyed his pain when they were children, so he would likely think that she was abused not when they were younger but exclusively after his exile began.

this isn't even touching on how zuko's perception of ursa and iroh clouds his ability to see how they both harmed azula too. that muddles things a lot more since zuko struggles with black and white thinking.

i think azula and zuko could heal their relationship with time and mutual effort, but as long as she refuses to confide in her brother and as long as he assumes she should experience and respond to trauma the same way he has, they're doomed to remain static in relation to each other.

[that-one-kiddo-in-the-back]

The Forgotten Gays of Western Animation... apparently.

Tw Lily says the F-slur despite her having a problem with Q-slur and talks about incest... again.

Now I'm not from Canada, nor was I old enough to have seen these shows that she's talking about, meaning I have no choice but to assume she's telling the truth about these shows.

To get this out of the way. Lily, throughout the whole video, was also making jabs at people who like lore based shows how they're the ones who are ruining shows because she thinks people on Twitter have any power over what a creator does on the show I mean if that was the case then JK Rowling would actually shut up about her transphobic thoughts. To put it simply, people on Twitter with their egos don't have much or any power over a show their not a part of, not even the people who are in charge of drawing the frames. now a creator can see multiple people asking about the lore of the world they worked so hard on. Lore might not be important to Lily, but anyone who's worked on making a completely new world wants to talk about and show the lore of the world. To get a bit personal, one of my siblings is writing a book, and there are days they will talk about the lore for hours because they're proud of it.

Now. Lily is very much wrong about moving the goal post for LGBTQ rep. Moving the goal post for LGBTQ characters means we are highering our expectations for what's good rep and what's not. To keep that post in the same place would be doing more damage than good.

Personally, I think (if we have to) the goal post should stick where the owl house is as that's one of the few shows that doesn't really have straight ships, hunter x willow and amity's parents are the only straight cannon relationships (and that's straight in quotes BTW) and I only think that because I haven't seen any of the nickelodeon shows with LGBTQ rep.

Something lily really needs to understand is that CEOs and the men in suits have a huge say in what goes into shows, so most shows aimed at children that want LGBTQ rep have to fight to have it Steven universe and the owl house all had to fight to get the rep they wanted. The reason you didn't see much of ruby and sapphire is because they are always fused together in perfect harmony. Every permafustion in SU were in a healthy relationship and only unfused was when they need to play the part their made for or fighting she also needs to remember that SU had the FIRST same-sex wedding in a kid show. The owl house was already set to be canceled, so who cares if they have a main gay couple it's not like they were gonna see them for long anyway. To me, it seems that if the character isn't kissing, holding hands, or cuddling, then that's not good enough that the LGBTQ rep has to be the most perfect relationship and never show what a real relationship can be like i.e. sometimes unhealthy, one-sided, and unrequited.

Lily then goes through a really long rant about how we shouldn’t hold She-ra to such a high platform because of the incest and how abusive the relationship was... completely forgetting that catra was the scapegoat while adora was the golden child. Both were in an abusive relationship with their perennial figures, with catra getting the brunt of it. Catra and adora are friends to enemies to lovers. Just because you wrote your incest story (scars, pokemadhouse) as some sort of coffee shop, AU, you think that you have any footing about complaining about catradora? Lily can't talk smack about adora and catra being technical sister when all of her fanfiction and even the books she reads aren't technical incest. It is incest. For all the mud slinging Lily does to She-ra, TLOK, and SU, you'd think the creators killed her family.

Also, I haven't heard of anyone saying that those slice of life relaxing shows that have the same rep as "not counting." In fact, people who like those types of shows have praised and really liked it, there's no one saying that shows with rep aren't valid just because there slow pace I've seen that's not valid because it's not good enough rep as in the LGBTQ character dies, doesn't get into a relationship, never get screen time, or how in Steven universe pearls love with rose is one sided and therefore pearl is an incel and "doesn’t count" funny enough all the complaints about rep not being good enough is from Lily herself. Steven universe doesn't count because you don't see enough, TLOK doesn't count because korra and asami didn't kiss as they walked into the spirit world, she-ra doesn't count because catradora is "fetishist towards abuse" and the list goes on.

Despite how much Lily praises Brace face for having a good gay character that wasn't the butt of the joke, he's still a stereotype, 6teen had one episode with a gay character and is never seen again, Lloyd in space had one Non binary character that in the end chose their gender and the main characters forcing gender norms on them. All of those in Lily's own words and past videos those shows aren't good enough.

No one has forgotten about the Canadian shows with LGBTQ characters their just not talked about, which is a shame. If I had seen these shows when I was struggling with my identity, it might have helped me deal with it better. As time goes on and millennials who grew up with the shows that said "its okay to be different and that just because you have no one now doesn't mean you will be alone forever." Begin to make their art. What was good then just isn't good now. Sure, those shows were ahead of their time, but now we are getting shows with better rep that don't need to use slurs or stereotypes.

[the-badger-mole]

Okay, so I have been seeing many posts saying that Aang is the most well-written and complex character. And how Zutara and Zuko stans need to be humbled (I think what Bryke did was enough (and it was wrong and cruel)) . You have your canon, I don't see the need to humble us when you have Aang being the creator's best boy and having his "forever girl". If a difference of opinion is triggering you, then it's time to click off and look inward. Basically, they say how he breathes life into the show, and how nobody should be dissing him. I understand if your favorite character is Aang because I understand why you like him. To me, the reason we love our favorite characters is that they are flawed, and we get to see how flaws make them human (hence why I love Katara). Aang...... Aang has a lot of flaws and deserves to be analyzed like every other character. We see mass amounts of criticism (border lining hate) for other (female) characters such as Korra and Katara. However Aang....... is very flawed and he should be because that makes him a well-rounded character. But there are some things such as that unconsented kiss, being a bad father etc. That should have been widely discussed in the amount that people had to say about Katara in TSR. Putting him on a pedestal because he's the avatar and the main character, actually deems for us to be more critical since he is the centerpiece of the show.

You've come to the right place. If you want Aang salt, I've got Aang salt. My biggest gripe isn't so much that Aang is flawed. It's that his flaws are treated as virtues, or not as bad as they are, or not addressed at all (looking at Aang's blatant disrespect of the SWT culture...). The fact that Bryke had the absolute gall to come out of their own mouths and say that what Aang did to his children was not that bad and that Kya and Bumi were blowing it out of proportion is infuriating on its own. The fact that Aang's defenders have grown up in a time when going low or no contact with your parents is...I won't say common, but a well known thing that adult children do for their own mental health. That they know what the Golden Child/Scapegoat dynamic is by name. That within the show, people who borderline worship Aang as a deity don't know that he had two other children... and yet they still want to argue that Aang wasn't a bad parent???? It's wild to me that in this day and age, people young enough to have been in the target audience when the show aired go so hard to defend the blatantly problematic aspects of Aang, or argue them away completely if they can't defend them.

[sokkastyles]

I don't know if it's just me but I never liked the idea of Uncle Iroh being pretty much the same before Lu Ten's death and his enlightenment journey through the spirit world. It feels like it cheapens the whole thing. What would the point be if Iroh was the same joyful person but he just happens to wear a t-shirt that says "imperialism and world conquest are only for the ꓘool Kids"? Also his relationship with Ozai reeks (atleast to me) of him not just being Azulon's favourite child but also the Fire Nation's favourite prince and war hero while Ozai was the scapegoat and pariah.

The point is that you can consider yourself a good person and still do evil. The point is that even someone who is otherwise kind and appreciative of other cultures can be swept up in the lure of fascism. That's all but textual, with Iroh stating that he believed he had a great destiny and that's why, despite him being a kind person, he was able to also believe that he had a right to conquer.

It's also historically accurate, as many conquering nations buy into the myth of benevolent imperialism and use it to justify themselves. Zuko repeats the same thing to Ozai, that he was taught that the Fire Nation's conquest was their way of "sharing their greatness with the world" something that is also repeated by Sozin to Roku. The idea that, in fact, as a "superior" nation, it is their duty to conquer.

I also think Iroh being Azulon's favorite is what allowed him to retain the recognizable parts of the character we see in the series while still being successful and respected as a conqueror. We know that even before his redemption, Iroh was regarded as "kooky." The specific use of this word implies that any behavior he exhibits that is outside of Fire Nation norms, like being more fond of drinking tea and playing games than winning battles, is just an odd quirk and can be forgiven because he also keeps winning those battles.

I think that's also why Ozai resented him so much, because Ozai was the scapegoat who could never do anything right, and here was Iroh who had so many traits that would normally be considered flaws in the Fire Nation, yet Azulon kept praising him. That also informs why Ozai became the hyper-militaristic, ruthless person he became, perhaps in an attempt to show his father that it was he who deserved to be the golden child, the star general, the crown prince.

I like this interpretation of Iroh and to me, it makes his redemption, happening too late, all the more poignant. Tragic, but also all the more important because it was overdue. Because Iroh did know better, but chose to maintain the status quo. And that affected not just his life (I've talked about how I think Iroh could have been a very different person if he was raised differently, and there's a part of him that probably would have loved to have a doll himself if that were allowed him) but his son's life. Iroh was able to get away with his own "kookiness," but maybe not so for Lu Ten. Maybe Iroh thought that if he had to stuff down that part of himself for the regime, then perhaps he enforced that in how he raised Lu Ten.

I think that also tracks with how Iroh's fondest memories of Lu Ten seem to be him as a young, soft child. Not the hardened military man he would have become. And it reflect on how he is with Zuko, too. How he works to teach Zuko that empathy and kindness are what really makes a man. And I like to imagine that in doing this, Iroh also learns that that part of himself was never something he should have had to hide or repress to begin with.

That also vibes with how hard Ozai tried to repress it in Zuko. I know the popular interpretation is that Ozai saw his own flaws in Zuko, and I don't disagree with that interpretation, but I think a part of him also saw and hated the things he resented in Iroh, the things Iroh got away with while he was so criticized by his father. Think about how Ozai speaks about and treats Iroh, and about how he usurps Iroh to prove that he is strong and Iroh is weak the first chance he gets.

The irony is that in the end, Ozai loses to Iroh yet again, when his own son chooses Iroh over him as a father. But that's what happens when you treat your kids like mirrors to reflect your own glory instead of people. The cyclical nature of the Fire Nation royal family's dysfunction is fascinating to me.

[is-today-tomorrow-in-nz]

OMG that Rule of Wolves ending was a total Deus Ex Machina! Leigh Bardugo really destroyed ALL the magical system's balance so her favorite could become a God, Avatar, mindreader, emotion reader, and dragon (ironic because LB was a Dany anti for GoT) with no consequences! But Alina, with ONE power just trying to take down the Fold = GREED = STRIPPED OF ALL POWERS. It makes no sense, and causes migraines to think about how LB destroyed all the worldbuilding for poorly thought out wattpad ending.

Thank you! I was beyond frustrated too. Her magic system is like a mirage in a desert- it exists one moment and then vanishes the next minute. It does not help that she plays favouritism with her own characters. Zoya, Nikolai and the crows are clearly her golden children. Aleksander is her scapegoat child. For the sake of her golden children, she bends the plot and swathes them in plot armour. However she refuses to offer any sort of redemption or even decent plotlines for her least favourite ones.

Just the other day, I was lamenting about this in another post. Let me share my fav deus ex machina other than the ones mentioned in the original post.

1)SoC: Began well- foreign country, jurda, everything at stake, heist etc etc. After the disaster of the trilogy, I was excited to read something different. However, the climax just made me want to fling the book to a corner. So Jarl Brum knows the partial truth from Matthias, knows why the crows were there. But somehow they got away scott free. Like yes, Nina made some soldiers fall asleep, but doesn't Fjerda have a navy? Isn't Djerholm not a harbour? Do they not know the ship name? Do they not know how long the jurda effects last in Nina? And yet all Brum did was stomp like a villain at the end of scooby doo saying, "If it weren't for those meddling kids!" and did nothing. They literally attacked one of the most powerful country's capital, blew up a part of their palace, and stole a tank! Somehow destroying a bridge was all it needed to stop an army! And at the final standoff, the soldiers were just put to sleep not killed. even if Kaz was just a day ahead, the fierce Fjerdan navy should have caught up to them. 🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️ But no... Nina attacked them with parem. Suddenly nothing can be done. It's like Fjerda is this formidable enemy when LB needs it to be and then become a bunch of helpless idiots when her favourite characters need to escape!

2)S&S: Ivan's death or literally any Grisha death on the Darkling side. They were very dangerous and battle experienced one moment but somehow were nothing compared to two sword weilding mercenaries. With convenient plot devices, the man who is literally the oldest and the most powerful Grisha in Ravka, was defeated and left at sea- no doubt hit by LB's idiot hammer. The man literally created THE FOLD for god's sake!!! And yet he and his army of well trained Grisha were defeated in a matter of minutes.

3)Nikolai: The whole Nikolai spiel was that he is the 'good' guy. He desperately wants the throne but instead of doing anything about it he was literally waiting for his big bro to get bored of it and throw it to him. That was the 'most clever fox's' brilliant strategy. Because that's what good boys do. Only evil, dark wizards create a coup.

And when the plot doesn't move forward, the easily-defeated-at-sea Darkling, is suddenly a raging powerful villain who conveniently kills Vasily and hands the good boy his throne.

I could go on and on. She butchered her own universe and is fixing them with cello tapes.

[ineffectualdemon]

I'm going to get personal while talking about Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian

A lot of you don't understand what it's like to be a neglected child

I'm not saying Wei Wuxian was in an enviable position in the family as both the Golden Child (to Jiang Fengmian) and the Scapegoat/Troublemaker (Madam Yu)

To receive all the attention BOTH good and bad is not a pleasant position to be in (especially as it feels that while Jiang Fengmian favoured Wei Wuxian he didn't really see him, he saw his parents)

But to be the neglected child is awful

To know that your parents wouldn't notice if you weren't around hurts. To never receive attention and care and certainly not positive attention or care ever gives you severe insecurity and a feeling that you will never be enough and all your accomplishments are worthless because it doesn't matter how good you are or how diligent or how hard you work.

You don't matter

Your accomplishments don't matter

Your feelings don't matter

And yes you are resentful and angry but no one allows you that anger

They laugh it off or act like it's out of no where

No one sees your anger as justified. How could it be? You're not in the firing line! You're not getting the worst of it

And no you don't want to be seen in the bad ways and hurt in the same way but you fucking want to be seen

By anyone!

Just to have your hurt and your sadness and your loneliness and your successes and triumphs seen and heard and validated

That's all you want

And you want to protect your sibling from being the constant victim and try to play peacemaker but that doesn't work when you're invisible and you also hate that you will never be as good as them at anything and how there is nothing that is just yours. Your accomplishment that they haven't already done better

But they are also the only one who sees you at all

The only one who gives you comfort when you cry or backs you up when you do something well

But they don't keep promises anymore than anyone else

And there are reasons. They have their own hurt. Their own issues. They are also a child trying to grow up in a hostile world

But they still hurt you and leave you and don't see you enough

And there is resentment from them to you because you don't get targeted and you don't have to live up to anything and carry a weight that no one person should carry

Now I had enough issues with my own sibling (and they had enough issues with me. The causing each other pain went both ways) but we are reforming a relationship as adults

But if you add in secrets like the reason why Jiang Cheng lost his core and the core transfer that happened after plus the complete lack of communication from Wei Wuxian during it all and the seeming betrayals and rejections

Yeah it's no wonder that Jiang Cheng reacted like he did

And I gotta say I do like the relationship he has with Jin Ling. A Jin Ling who chooses to sit with Jiang Cheng. He sees his uncle and his hurt and his pride and he is proud of him, proud to be his nephew

And Jiang Cheng for all he is rough on the outside and makes empty threats and demands (that Jin Ling knows are empty and says as much) He is very caring and loving towards Jin Ling. This is shown in the trust Jin Ling has in him and how he gravitates to Jiang Cheng whenever he is insecure or afraid

And as crushing as the core transfer reveal and Wei Wuxian just leaving again was, Jiang Cheng did not go catatonic. He did not completely fall to pieces. Because he still has to care for his nephew and his sect

And I think that really shows how he has developed from a teenager

He had an embarrassing freak out but at the end of the day he can continue on. But he's still hurting

I think he can reconcile with Wei Wuxian but it's going to be painful and awkward and slow

I'm not saying Jiang Cheng is always right but I'm saying his hurt and his reactions are very real and very in character from the point of view of a neglected and unloved younger sibling

[worlds-oldest-teenager]

Why I think Apollo is the golden child and not the scapegoat.

To me both Apollo and Athena are Zeus's golden children.

At first it makes sense that Apollo would be the scapegoat of the family cause of how disproportionate the punishment is when most of his family (Athena & Ares) Have done much worse. The way Apollo narrates as well makes him seem like he gets the blame for everything.

But if we really get into the head honcho himself's brain, the punishment is fitting for the crime Apollo's committed. In his mind Ares and Athena's crimes are excusable. Ares is violent, bloodthirsty and war bringing and he's given up on that child ages ago. (I'd argue that Ares is the real scapegoat of the family)

Athena is interesting. She's very clearly at fault for this war even more so than Apollo. So why doesn't she get punished at all?

I think the reason he comes down so hard on Apollo and not on Athena is cause of their motivations. Athena causing the schism over some statues was because of her righteous anger at the Romans for demoting her to a craft goddess. It was a decision she made millennia ago that any other god, at least in Zeus's opinion, would have also made. They literally stole her and made her nothing which is something no god takes lightly.

Apollo is a whole other story.

The reasons behind Apollo conspiring with Octavian are blurry but what we can acknowledge is that he at least promised to put him above Zeus which is complete high treason on Apollo's part for actually going along with it.

Hoping on Ares just invites disappointment. Athena's the golden child who's actions are perfectly acceptable in his twisted mind. But Apollo? Apollo should be the perfect son, and most of the time he is. He's got the most domains. He's won so many times that the very symbol of victory is one of his symbols.

Athena and Apollo's relationship, from the very little we've seen, also confirms this. They seem to have a deep mutual respect for each other and an understanding that comes from being in the exact same situation.  Apollo loves her enough to give her a nickname. Athena is (I think) the only god to almost stand up to Zeus when he blamed Apollo for the whole war. To me their dynamic doesn't really read as a golden child/ scapegoat dynamic but more like mutual golden children with one absolutely having the potential to kill their father. They're kind of ride or die but they would not die for each other lmao.

So I think Athena and Apollo share the same dysfunctional family role. It's just that sometimes Apollo goes a little astray yenno? He's learnt to sand down his rough edges since he was a godling but at least twice before, he's absolutely lost it and forced his father's hand. But it was nothing a little correction couldn't handle. Now he's back to being Zeus's perfect son and continues being so for thousands of years.

That's why him conspiring to overthrow Zeus is such a collosal betrayal. This level of anger and hurt doesn't make sense to me if Apollo is the scapegoat. It makes much more sense if he's Zeus's beloved son who he thought loved him as much as he did.

Even his confrontation with Apollo in blood of Olympus was blamey, sure, but it was also a bitterly disappointed kind of angry. I really feel like he was using the war to justify punishing Apollo so harshly for an affront against himself.  (Way to state the obvious).

Pjo Zeus just doesn't really seem to care about most of the problems anyone is facing  until there's real potential that it could turn deadly against himself. He has a prophecy of his son overthrowing him to think about. Golden child or not, nay especially if it's his golden child, they cannot ever think doing such a thing is acceptable or that they are capable of it.

And in that way the punishment kind of fits, right? Try to put yourself above the king of the gods? Get supremely humbled with the most embarrassing experience of your life fighting your nightmare of a nemesis who nearly killed you as a child.

Zeus and Apollo reuniting on Olympus after his trials cements my point. What is Zeus's confirmation that all is right and his son is back in his rightful place? Is it 'I apologize' or 'I love you ' ? No. It's, "You have done me proud ". Because this is who Apollo is meant to be. An object of pride that Zeus doesn't love so much as appreciate when the light from his trophy child reflects on himself.

[dinaniktorl]

Vanderboom triplets and christian symbolism

Rusty Lake devs put many allegories to different religions in their games, and christianity is one of them. The most obvious is the scene where Samuel, Emma and Albert get born and what Mary feeds them.

(before we begin i must mention that i am NOT catholic and was never raised to be one or any other form of christianity. if i've made any mistakes, please correct me, and also please tell me your thoughts about it!)

(i won't be able to answer you in the comments on the account of a broken glitchy mainblog, but i will read them anyway.)

There are two ways to interpret this scene:

1. Golden kid, scapegoat and forgotten child

Many breastfeeders don't have enough milk to raise one infant, let alone two or three. Mary HAD to choose a favorite kid, the one who can survive and bring help to the family.

Obviously, she chose Sam.

First of all, he is a boy. For many years, boys were valued more than girls. They were able to work, to have rights, they didn't have to leave their family when they got married.

And that's exactly what happens to Sam. He grows up healthy, strong, is the only kid that works and marries. He is the only one that can create a healthy heir without the help of magic or science, and he works for the better of his family.

I would also like to make a suggestion that Mary didn't bother to give Emma any education. She can read, yes, but she was never shown playing any instrument in the game or anywhere else. Learning music was a very important part of education for little kids in wealthy families, and both Sam and Albert can play at least one instrument. Emma, on the other hand, tries to get pregnant. Because she is a girl.

Second of all, Albert, unlike Samuel, was always weird. Not necessarily in his hobbies, but his appearance. He was brought in this world with a birthmark, Mary was probably scared of him. Maybe to her Albert was a bad omen, and she actively tried to kill him with wine. She didn't want to keep him alive, so he was not worth the milk.

And, probably the most important part, Samuel was born first. It's that simple, he was the first kid, so he was the first to get milk.

But, Sam's life may not have been easy. You see, there's this parenting model of a golden kid and a scapegoat. Golden kid is assumed to be perfect, which means he must be perfect in everything.

Scapegoat is an example of a bad kid, of everything that golden kid should not be. Usually parents of these two kids make them hate EACH OTHER instead of parents.

I mean, Sam didn't have to choose Emma over Albert and then bully him.

Emma is a forgotten child. She doesn't get anything good and her bad behavior is never controlled.

2. The water, The milk and The wine

“Come, everyone who thirsts,

Come to the waters;

and he who has no money,

Come, buy and eat!

Come, buy wine and milk

without money and without price.” (Isaiah 55:1)

This next interpretation is based on this article.

The scene is, of course, metaphorical. Don't take it at face value.

The text says, : "Water for Life, Milk for Strength, Wine for Joy". In this exact order.

Water is supposed to make people alive. Just to keep their bodies fresh, so to speak.

But it can't keep you alive for long. You will be weak, you will get sick, you will probably die of malnourishment.

Emma is 28 years old in this picture.

She can't work, she has to sit almost always, just like her elderly mother, I'm surprised she was able to birth Frank tbh.

Also, I can't really guess another reason for her to dress so warmly. I don't think we ever saw her neck. Or maybe I'm overthinking it, idk.

Water was the first drink God gave to thirsty. Milk was next.

It is supposed to give strength and health to overcome hardships, just like mother's milk nurtures and heals a little baby.

And, well, Samuel IS a bit on the heavier side, at least when he was younger.

Maybe his mother was mad at him for having a kid before marriage or something, but he is on his own now. He loses his weight and bulk, his arms start turning grey (and i really don't know why!)

I guess he does grow a tummy, or maybe he gets a full expensive costume. Either way, he does become wider, and his hands whiter.

He doesn't die from malnutrition or stress, but he gets killed for taking a "toy" from a spoiled kid.

SPEAKING OF.

Quote

"<...God> invites you not only to come alive with water, but also to be stable and strong with milk. But that is not all we need in life. No matter how stoic, unemotional, phlegmatic, laid-back, or poker-faced we may seem to others, there is a child inside of every one of us that God made for exhilaration — for shouting and singing and dancing and playing and skipping and running and jumping and laughing..."

Albert is, genuinely, a lively kid. He plays, he experiments, he falls in love deeply and for many years.

He is not malnourished in the slightest. Albert is a big, tall boy. He gets everything he wants, any mask he wants, any room. This is especially interesting, considering Emma and Sam did not get any toys ever.

He doesn't have to work. He doesn't have to worry. Everything gets served to him on a plate.

Well, almost everything.

"Wine is a powerful image, an exhilarating beverage that is God’s idea — and like others of his best gifts, not without its serious and documented dangers in the hands of sinners."

Albert is spoiled. Albert gets mad easily. His feelings hurt him, and nobody can say no to him when he goes out for vengeance, even his mother.

He lies constantly. He is the Devil himself, though I don't think it's in a typical sense.

Yes, he's violent, untrustworthy, egoistic, but he cares. Deeply. Maybe too much.

And what he was given, he gives to other. That's how he was raised.

That's how he raised Rose. Ouija board, dolls, food and water, her own room. She was free to do whatever she wanted, robe graves, even free Frank.

And Albert did nothing about it. He, too, did not die peacefully in his sleep. He weakened himself until he had no one to rely on. His wealth was taken from him, and he fell limp immediately.

"It’s difficult to abuse water. Some abuse milk (and cream). Many abuse wine."

------------------------------------------------------

There are many so called triplets in Rusty Lake. Frank, Leonard and Rose. Bob, Dave and Laura. Maybe even William, Aldous and Jakob.

Maybe the previous three must die before the new are created. Albert was reanimated and Rose has died immediately after.

I'm not really sure what to make of this.

[gearbox-doll]

Okay but I'd love to genuinely have a debate with someone, where everything is completely neutral and I don't have to worry about getting judged outside of the room, about why incest is bad.

Because like. Beyond the ick factor that most people feel, which wouldn't exist if it weren't so heavily stigmatized, why is it bad? I want a well thought-out, logical, neutral answer.

If it's because their kids would have mutations or whatever: first off, stikes me as kinda like eugenics. "They shouldn't have kids because their kids might be disabled", is what you're saying. Plus, the really bad stuff tends to crop up only after a few generations, and honestly I don't see that happening unless the family is specifically only marrying within itself? Like, I feel like in a world where incest is normalized, there would be equal chances of falling in love with a family member as there are falling in love with someone you aren't related to. Just because it's a possibility doesn't mean it's gonna overtake everything else. And that's not even bringing up y'know, gay couples or childless couples in general.

"It's wrong!": Why? Why is it wrong? Does the bible tell you that? (Genuinely asking, it's been a while since I've read the bible.) If it does, what about people who don't believe in the bible? Setting aside the idea of "everyone should believe in the bible", what is a non-religious reason someone should think incest is bad? Why does the bible say it's wrong? Are there explanations? Is it a case of "this was dangerous back then but now we have ways to deal with it"?

Abuse: no relationship style is inherently abusive, so I ask you this: why is incestuous abuse worse than non-incestuous abuse? Why is romantically abusing your child worse than romantically abusing someone the same age as your child? They should hold the same weight, no? And if they do, then why isn't it illegal for someone to date someone the same age as (or younger than) their child? If the person is an adult, don't they have a similar dynamic?

What about siblings? Siblings usually have a smaller age-gap right? What about twins or triplets? Why is incestuous abuse in this kind of case considered worse than domestic violence? Obviously it's not illegal to date an abuser that's similar in age to you. You can get them arrested for abuse, yes, but it's not illegal to date them, or for others to date them.

And yes, I know there are certain dynamics that are only found in families (golden child vs scapegoat, the power a parent has over a child, etc), but I think those are symptoms of other issues that should also be solved. A parent only has that much power over a child because children don't have equal rights. So give the kids more ability to stand up for themselves! And even so, in a relationship with that kind of age gap, I'd be willing to say that the older partner has that kind of power over the younger partner regardless of whether they're related or not, because often it's the older partner who has more money, a better space to live, is older so they "know better" etc which so easily allows them to control the younger partner. Just like in a parent/child relationship, the older party has to be aware of what kind of control they have, and make sure they aren't hurting the other, to be a good parent/partner.

As for golden child vs scapegoat, I think that kind of dynamic can just as easily be found outside of family structures, though for different reasons. A popular kid and someone who's bullied, for example. You get what I'm saying?

Like honestly if you can give a good, well thought out response to this I'll read it and consider it! I'll see if I agree with you or if I can find evidence to refute you! Let's make it a debate.

If you're just going to yell at me bc incest bad or whatever though, you're getting blocked.

[yourlowkeyidiot3]

I'm actually gonna write a fucking essay defending ford bcs I'm tired of this fandoms bs I'm actually gonna scream fuck it I'm doing it rn

(It might be because I relate to him and seeing people completely demontise him for things that aren't really his own fault makes me feel terrible but whatever dude)

" He shouldn't had gotten so mad at Stan for ruining his project"

Put yourself in his shoes for a bit. Imagine that, in your whole life, you've been bullied for something that while, yes is abnormal, but also is out of your control, and treated like an outcast and a freak for it, then one day you get the chance to go to your dream college and prove your worth, prove that you are more than just a freak. But you get rejected because turns out, your brother had ruined your project and kept it a secret until it was too late to fix it. Wouldn't you be mad as well? Because if my brother did that to me. I would also be mad, and hell. I might not even want to speak with him ever again in my life.

Yes it was an accident. But Ford didn't know that. Ford thought that Stan had purposely sabotage his only chance at proving himself just so they could stay together.

" He didn't do anything to prevent Stan from getting kicked out"

Do you seriously believe that standing up against an abusive partner is easy? It's not easy to stand up against an abuser for yourself. You think it's easy to do that for another person? You do realise that if he had tried to do that, he likely would also gotten kicked out as well right? Yes Stan didn't deserve that, and yes Stan was 17. But Ford was also 17!

I think I should give a friendly reminder that Filbrick didn't gave a fuck about Ford the same way he didn't gave a fuck about Stan. He only saw Ford as a way to success and make money because he was smart, the same way he saw Stan as just a failure. Ford was the golden child, and Stan was the scapegoat. Both are still abuse.

"He treated Fiddleford terribly"

You also need to consider that it was Bill's fault, and not really Ford's. Ford was a great friend before Bill started to insulating him from Fiddleford. If I remember correctly (god please don't be misremembering things that'd be embarrassing) He went ahead and brought Fiddleford a banjo (or banjo strings I can't remember) after he had arrived in Gravity Falls. He,(the 24/7 workaholic Ford Pines) threw a party for him, when he returned back to Gravity Falls after his argument with his wife. And genuinely he was happy to go on adventures with him. To me it seems like he only started being "a jerk" after Bill started to isolate him from others. And that's kinda the point. That's what Bill was trying to do, he isolated Ford from his best friend, his only friend. So he wouldn't have anyone to help him get away from Bill. He manipulated Ford to think that Fiddleford was against him. That he was untrustworthy and weak.That's what abusers do. You guys are blaming him for something Bill is responsible for.

"He didn't appreciated Fiddlefords gifts!"

Now that's just straight up wrong. He loved Frilliam, it was Bill who had pressured him into getting rid of him, he fucking loved those gloves, him dropping the snowball was an accident because Bill had startled him, (and knowing Bill probably did that purposely just to make him drop that snowball) and ..I feel like there's another thing Fiddleford had gifted Ford and I can't remember what it was oh my god my brain is so stupid why is my memory so bad--

"He was a jerk to Stan after coming out of the portal despite the fact that Stan spent 30 years trying to bring him back"

Have you also considered the reason he was mad at Stan is actually way more understandable than it seems? It's not just because Stan opened the portal when he was about to defeat Bill. It also because Stan had ignored all of his warnings that opening the portal could put entire world in danger. And Ford certainly doesn't consider himself someone worth enough to risk putting the entire world in danger just to save him. And in a way he's right, one person really isn't worth putting the entire world in potential danger. And not to mention: Stan stole his identity and committed a shit ton of crimes under his name! Yes I understand why Stan did it, but I'm pretty sure if we were in Ford's position we'd also be mad!

I mean he shouldn't had punched him , but his anger is understandable.

"He was gonna rob Dipper of Mabel and his future"

Okay I will agree with this one. And yes this is in fact one of his flaws. It would had been bad for Dipper, had he not refused. It was gonna rub him of his future, and it would had been bad for a 12-13 year old for many reasons. But it also wasn't done with malicious intentions. Keep in mind that he hasn't seen another human being in 30 years. He probably just didn't see/understood why it would be bad for Dipper. And as for Mabel? He thought she would be fine on her own. He cares for the kids, he loves them, he would never intentionally do anything that'd hurt them.

"Well he should had known better than to summon Bill"

Oh Christ....where do I begin with this one?

Did you the show you watched, magically didn't have the parts where it's literally shown that he was bullied his entire life for being a freak and that he wanted to show everyone that he wasn't just a freak? Did the show you watched and the books you read magically didn't had every moment where Bill had lied and manipulated him by overflattering him and using his insecurities against him? What you all so call "stroking his ego"? Bill's whole point is that he's terrible, and a master manipulator no one is safe from. Ford wasn't the only victim of Bill's manipulation. Why only blame him? Why are we blaming Bill's victims. And not Bill himself?

"Ford doesn't deserve any friends/his family he deserves no love'

And wow! Just like that you're blocked! Get the fuck out of my blog if you genuinely believe that. You disgust me. You're saying a victim of: bullying, manipulation, abuse and torture. Both physically and psychologically, deserves no love. Are you even hearing yourself? Especially when his character arc is about how he learned to be a better person. And about how he has a family and friends that don't blame nor hate him for his past mistakes and that's all he needed. Yea okay I am sure that he doesn't deserve love and support right.

God whatever. It's not like trying to reason with people who have no media literalicy and the mindsets of victim blamers is gonna get me anywhere

[anti-spop]

tumblr just keeps gifting me these posts i'm so fed up with this hellsite. anyway, as always, spop fans keep missing the point.

i'd like to know your thoughts on this entire post but i'm more amused by the second paragraph. "ignore actual canon"? what actual canon are they talking about? the official character sheets that called adora and catra sisters? the ¾ths of the show that established an intense toxic sibling dynamic between these two? the fact that some of the cast themselves described adora's and catra's relationship as a "sisterly bond"? lmao.

LMAOOOO oh my fucking god.

OP rlly said "it's not ableism if the disabled person is shitty". What the actual fuck. That's like saying that purposefully misgendering a shitty person who happens to be trans/nb is okay. But we should all know in the year of 2024 that it's not.

The sisterly C//A paragraph is beyond me. For one, C//A stans do accept that Shadow Weaver raised Catra and Adora. Their entire conflict is rooted in the golden child x scapegoat dynamic, mostly present in sibling relationships. SW isn't just a shitty teacher or master, she's their MOTHER. Catra fights for SW's affection and the lack of it deeply affected her. Hell, stans will make "mommy issues" jokes with both Catra and Adora, and yet they will get so pissed when we say "so you admit they're sisters". And since stans don't have any valid arguments, they will just call us lesbophobes.

Hate to quote a Marvel meme but me every time I see a SPOP stan saying shit like this: "oh so we're using our made up SPOP now".

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

I'm not a catra stan-stan and definitely not an apologist but I really like her character. Her redemption arc was botched and it's a shame because she had a really interesting character, and she had perspective on abuse that I'd never seen portrayed before.

I live in a relatively abusive home with (gross generalisation here) me as a scapegoat and my brother as the golden child. I'm not proud of it but i've been abusive like catra (even if not to this extent because ??????? She did reallyfucked up things ?????????). And seeing that on screen, it was freeing in a way, like staring in a really dark mirror, and it felt good to have a character to relate too in this aspect.

And then came the redemption arc 🤡 honestly Catra's point of view is not badly written from what I remember. Like trying your best to be a better person and stop being abusive, but the other person doing something that sets you off and falling back on those patterns on instincts ? I've been there, and it's somewhat nice to have the scene with mealog to relate to for example. Having to take responsibility for your actions and your reactions, but every sorry feels awful and has to be torn out of you because you feel guilty as fuck and you know apologies aren't gonna change anything, and you know there will be other instances when your abusive tendencies will take over despite your best efforts? It was freeing to see those sorts of moments on screen.

But adora shouldn't have forgiven her. The others shouldn't have forgiven her. Maybe they could be forgiven, but not trusted. It doesn't make sense, it's rushed, it's stupid, I hate it. Also catra stops feeling guilty really fucking early for what she's done, like ma'am show a bit more remorse you tried to kill her ? Stop complaining when frosta punches you in the face, it's explainable and you deserve it. In her redemption, she lashed at Adora once or twice, got told it's okay I forgive you please don't do it anymore and suddenly she was "fixed". That's not how it works and it sucks, it hurts, that's not how it works. We never saw a broken catra post redemption, and it lacked.

So, yeah. I'm pissed about her redemption arc, and it's a shame because i really wanted to see it work.

(I didn't even mention catradora because that's not the point but the amatonormativity of it all? You're broken but your true love's kiss has fixed you so it's okay)

this is exactly how i feel too! i didn't start off hating catra because she was a really compelling villain and a scarily accurate version of an abuse victim who started adopting those abusive tendencies themselves. i didn't relate to her entirely but i could definitely relate to some aspects of her, especially her anger that sometimes got best of her.

but it feels like the creators forgot that she was supposed to be redeemed and kept making her do the most heinous things with no remorse, only to remember in s5 that she needs to be redeemed, and shoving a hasty redemption arc where she ultimately does not change at all.

i don't think even catra's perspective was that good because she only changed for adora. she didn't redeem herself because she knew what she was doing was wrong or because she regretted taking part in the war. she did it because she wanted adora back and also because she was of no use to horde prime.

and after getting saved by adora, catra honestly does not try much to actually correct her mistakes. she keeps lashing out at adora and abusing her, she's snarky with the other princesses and keeps falling back into her old habits. and no one ever calls her out for it. healing is not linear, sure, but there should have been someone who would keep catra in check and call her out when she starts acting shitty again.

but no, the only instance of her trying that we got was when she admitted that she was working on her anger issues, and then immediately proceeded to guilt trip adora by saying that adora was giving her a hard time.

catra really had a lot of potential but it's a shame the creators valued a rushed toxic romance more than actual character development and good storytelling.

[sokkastyles]

since you have spoken out of turn ONCE AGAIN I, “the stupid Stan” must educate you, the actually stupid Stan

This is one of the more depressing lines in ATLA, because Azula tried to peacefully coexist with Zuko earlier, because she tried to give everything he ever wanted and acted on the premise that it was possible for both siblings to be happy, successful, and equal.  

But as a result Zuko’s actions she’s come to accept the toxic paradigm of sibling competition created by Ozai and accepted by Zuko where the rise of one sibling inevitably means the fall of another, where it is impossible for her to coexist with her brother unless(at the very least) one of them has been violently forced into submission by the other(if it is possible to coexist at all).

You know, Katara runs out into the arena at the Agni Kai just when Zuko is beginning to taunt Azula about lightning. I have zero idea of what was going through her mind.

You know, ever time I think about the final Agni Kai, I’m reminded why I’m terrified that Zuko having Azula under his control post-canon would lead to him abusing her.  I like to think and hope that he’s better than that, but it would absolutely be keeping with the dynamics between the siblings.  Azula shouldn’t have power over Zuko, and Zuko shouldn’t have power over Azula; otherwise things will end poorly

#zuzu stans are retarded

I "spoke out of turn"? You came into my inbox, numbnuts.

Also, poor choice of words unless you're trying to mimic Ozai, which does seem the case considering everything else you've said.

At least you're not making any pretense that this is about protecting disabled people, since you feel very comfortable using an ableist slur, or about feminism, given the other asks you sent me calling me a "stupid bitch." I shouldn't bother with your nonsense but this one is actually really dangerous for the myths about abuse it puts out.

I like to think and hope that he's better than that

Don't lie. You are VERY willing to demonize Zuko and twist the narrative to make it look like he's the abuser. You just aren't very good at it.

Azula DID NOT try to "peacefully coexist" with Zuko, and that claim in and of itself is abuse apologism. Because there is no peaceful coexistence while Zuko is living with Ozai, and Azula not only brought him back there, she would have brought him back there as a prisoner if he hadn't sided with her.

She's not doing him a favor by bringing him back as an ally because she is the reason he was a prisoner in the first place. She's not doing him a favor by telling him to stay away from Iroh because she is also the reason that Iroh is a prisoner. But abusers are actually very invested in creating problems just to convince you that they can provide the only solution. It is literally an abuse tactic. That is what Azula does when she tries to "peacefully coexist" with Zuko. None of this is for Zuko's benefit, but it benefits Azula for Zuko to think it is.

It also benefits Ozai, since Ozai wants Azula to be his golden child and Zuko to take the blame for everything Ozai doesn't approve of. Ozai did not encourage them to fight each other, and he certainly didn't encourage them to compete. It makes no sense that he would, because he does not want Zuko, his scapegoat, to be able to or even think he could compete with his golden child. He doesn't want them to fight each other. He wants Azula to fight Zuko. And Azula wants that, too.

You say that Azula should not have power over Zuko but fail to acknowledge that Azula did have power over Zuko, which is why when she brings him back to his abuser with a heavy dose of "prove you're not a traitor" and the knowledge that if he didn't, he'd be thrown in prison, plus being separated from the one adult who actually cares about his well-being, it isn't a peaceful coexistence. Zuko is not peacefully coexisting, he shows telltale traits of being abused and gaslit, and describes how he feels like he's not himself, feels like he's losing his mind, is angry all the time but can't articulate why. It's because he's being abused.

Azula also has power over Zuko by virtue of being Ozai's golden child who Ozai allowed and encouraged to treat her brother badly. That's another big reason why there is no peaceful coexistence under Ozai's roof. Not because of some general idea that they're in competition or are mutually toxic to each other. That's actually a myth that abusers use to try and control their victims and obfuscate their own culpability.

Oh, there's also the fact that Azula tried to kill Zuko numerous times.

Azula should not be allowed to have power in any capacity and she's shown that she's very capable of manipulating Zuko and others even from the diminished position she is in in the comics, and that is because he wants to help her and makes the mistake of trusting her. Interpreting this as him somehow abusing his power over her is a very deliberate attempt to make the victim seem like the perpetrator.

Also lol at the victim blaming of Katara that is casually thrown in there. Really doesn't help your argument!