#abandonment (:

[clovelie]

i hate everyone and i wish i never made any connections to anyone

[shadowhaert]

on being left

drift, alek olsen / cheryl strayed / u.k / u.k / trista mateer / rebecca malakai / u.k / marya hornbacher / jan heller levi

[ivynightshade]

fatima aamer bilal, excerpt from moony moonless sky’s ‘i am an observer, but not by choice’.

[feral-ballad]

Margarita Karapanou, tr. by Karen Emmerich, from Rien ne va plus

[Text ID: “You were always leaving. I always picture you with a suitcase in your hand. I can’t picture you sitting at a desk. I always see you in motion.”]

[bleedingandbroken]

[whump-in-the-closet]

dialogue prompts for traitor whumpees

(cws in tags)

the betrayed:

"What are you doing? Why did you lock...why did you lock the door?"

"No! Stop, you can't do this!"

"You don't have to do this."

"I thought I could trust you."

"When I get out of this-- when, not if-- when I get out, you're going to wish you were dead."

"Fucker. I always knew you were trouble. No one else listened, did they? They took in your sob story and swallowed it whole."

"Oh, you're sorry? You're sorry? Why don't you run back to your master like the dog you are?"

"Fuck off."

"I don't want to hear it. I don't!"

"We should have never trusted you. We should have never helped you."

"You're going to regret this, I promise you."

the betrayer:

"I'm...so sorry."

"Its for your own good."

"This was the only way, you don't understand."

"I'm sorry-- I had to, they forced me-- please, please forgive me."

"This would be much easier for you if you just held still."

"Oh? Are the handcuffs a little tight? Do they pinch? My bad, let me just cut off your circulation here."

"This is very satisfying, I have to admit. And just the tiniest bit humorous."

"Someone gag them. They never know when to shut up."

"You really should have known better."

"Why on earth did you think I ever needed your help?"

"It was me or you, old friend. And I really prioritize survival over any relationship."

"It's nothing personal. It just had to be done."

"I may regret this, I may not. At least I'll be alive to regret it."

"You don't understand what they did to me. You will though. Soon."

"Oh shut up, this isn't even the worst part."

"I had no idea some of the most brilliant minds in the world were so... gullible."

"God, you lot were stupid. You...followed me into a basement. Seriously, what is up with that?"

[adultstuff0]

i want an older man to comfort and hold me like a child :(

[hisenemy]

only u and me?

[loveyourlovelysoul]

It may be that if you had always been rejected by those you liked or you got to do things you really didn't feel like in order to not being left out (but still ended up alone), you may now fear being yourself and being seen for real. You may have learned from that experience that no matter what, there's something wrong in you and you may have (even unconsciously) tried to hide from others in any way you could. Maybe you also started to unconsciously either search for more people that would possibly reject you for various reasons (so that if one day you found one and they didn't reject you, you could feel enough) or you started to like people secretly, or people that are "unreachable" to you and you don't have to deal with in your everyday life, so that they could not reject you.

But there's nothing wrong in you. It's just that we cannot be appreciated and accepted by everyone (or by all the people we'd like to), and that some relationships are not the ones for us. Plus, there may also be a problem of having different outlooks and ideas coming in between, or issues that are not compatible among each others. Whatever may be the reason, it won't always be like that. Don't be afraid of being yourself, of sticking to your values, of being seen for who you are and of receiving a no. It will hurt ofc, but it doesn't mean that you're not worthy or lovable in your entirety or by the whole world: you just didn't click with that person/people and that's okay. There are hundreds of others willing and waiting to click with you. Give yourself and them a chance.

[whumpster-dumpster]

"I'm here for you."

"Oh, yeah? How long is that gonna last?"

[clovelie]

the thought of being replaced is enough to make me almost pass out

[post-traumatic-slaughter]

Rock doves were once our companions and prized possessions. Now we call them pests and winged rats.

[stygianroses]

[feral-ballad]

I was not the woman who breaks into pieces under the blows of abandonment and absence, who goes mad, who dies. Only a few fragments had splintered off, for the rest I was well. I was whole, whole I would remain. To those who hurt me, I react giving back in kind. I am the queen of spades, I am the wasp that stings, I am the dark serpent. I am the invulnerable animal who passes through fire and is not burned.

Elena Ferrante, tr. by Ann Goldstein, from The Days of Abandonment