#aaaand he's dead

[oreo-cookies-fan]

STASIU WITKIEWICZ W MISSION IMPOSSIBLE?!

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

this post got me to go find a recording of devin's voicelines and god. they truly go so hard. the best part of them to me isn't even the long speech to godwyn/fia but the part AFTER when you actually interact with him. the fucking. audible smile in his voice when he says "hello! the rotten witch is dead :) " the way it borders on an almost delirious giggle. the whole thing is like, the va did such a good job selling the simultaneous grief and rage and disgust and vindictive joy it's sooo delicious to me. they could never make me hate you devin you will always be iconic in my heart

[double-features]

my taste in guys (imagine my boyfriend is here also i didnt feel like searching for a photo of you, sorry taylor!)

[orcelito]

Ok I'm thinking about kabuto backstory again and thinking about how unfair and fucked up it all is like

> be Danzo

> threaten local orphanage mother into returning to being a spy (by threatening the kids there)

> force them to send One Kid too because he "lost a man" while obtaining the intel he's threatening her to spy over (the kid is Kabuto, who volunteered bc he overheard them threatening the mother over this) (Danzo knows he overheard)

> train kabuto to be a spy while orphanage mother is off on her long spy job as well

> bait spy mom with the promise of keeping kabuto safe to keep her agreeing to work with you

> decide they both are too good at their jobs (????) Of being spies (that work for you?????)(they've been loyal this whole time????) So they're too dangerous and both need to die

> keep mom and kid away from each other as kid grows up

> literally DOCTOR FAKE PHOTOS of the kid growing up to make it seem like he looks totally different now???? So she won't recognize him?????

> give her the assassination assignment of killing the Real Kabuto (who she won't recognize) so they'll kill each other

> whoops, Kabuto survived and killed her instead, oh well at least Orochimaru's watching him now

I'm just like. How fucked up is it to threaten these people into working as spies for you "for the good of Konoha", and then decide that these people (who have given NO INDICATION of intending to betray Konoha) are too good at being spies and thus Too Dangerous and should be killed for it. But no he can't just kill them in a normal way. He had to manufacture an entire scenario so that they'd kill EACH OTHER while making the mom not recognize him (with the express purpose of breaking the kid's spirit) like BROOOOOO I know you ordered the whole Uchiha clan to be massacred (conducting genocide for the sake of 'peace') actually now that I think about it he ordered this of itachi. Ordered him to kill his own family. Of course Danzo would get off on making a mother and son kill each other "for the good of Konoha" he's almost fucking cartoon villain level of horrible past the point of logic EXCEPT there really are people this awful that have existed. Plenty of them. And they have also justified it as being "for the good of [nation]" like that's the Thing, he's a war hungry nationalist that has decided He Knows Best so he's going to fuck up SO many people's lives, up to and including his own damn citizens!!!! And this bitch thinks he deserves to be kage?!?!?! Fucking Hiruzen letting him run wild like this. He knew Danzo was stealing children and indoctrinating them into a murder cult (where, keep in mind, he purposefully raises kids in pairs so they view each other as family AND THEN ORDERS THEM TO KILL EACH OTHER)(AGAIN!!!! with the family killing, what is his PROBLEM) but Hiruzen just let it fucking happen. Spineless fucking piece of shit. He fucked Naruto up he fucked Orochimaru up he fucked up Royally with Danzo like come ONNNNNNNNNN

Rattling the bars of my cage rn at how awful Danzo is and how he was able to just. DO THIS???? I know the bitch is dead but he's not dead enough. Give me the glock.

[keeps-ache]

ouhhh i'm turning into my grandmother [chewing on wriggley's gum]

[mikaikaika]

Friend ^_^

[archaictold]

( OOC. ) when i say zhilan collects the most silly academically punny t-shirts to wear around the apartment, this is in essence what i mean. he's insufferable ( affectionate )

[coochellati]

HAPPY 44TH BIRTHDAY BRUNO!!!!!!!!!!

buon compleanno bruno !!

(reference: michal macku)

[krysmcscience]

Call this the Whoopsie AU (it's barely an AU)

I mean. Narinder never explicitly SAID the Lamb would stay dead... :3c He probably should have been more specific. >:3c

Part Two:

Well. The Lamb tried, but...sorry, Nari, the crown hates you now. Shouldn't have been so quick to lend it out, I guess. :D

Aaaand Part Three:

'Isn't he just adorable?' -The Lamb, probably, while their followers smile and nod and internally scream at the brand new hellcat they now have to share living space with...

Anyway, nothing says 'Dead To Me' like following a person around to loudly remind them of how dead they are to you. Right? Right. Narinder's got this all figured out. <:]

[zhongrin]

honey, can you.… commit a crime for me?

© zhongrin | 2024  ✼  no repost・translations・plagiarism of any kind・ai data mining. rebloggers get a free cup of tea ♡

✼ characters ┈ zhongli, childe, kaeya, diluc, al haitham, tighnari, wriothesley, neuvillette

✼ tags ┈ gn!reader, crack, fluff

✼ a/n ┈ what even are these hsdlkfjlskjdf kinda wanna create a yandere version of this /is bonked

ꜱᴘᴇᴄɪᴀʟ ᴍᴇɴᴜ (ꜱᴇʀɪᴇꜱ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ) ✼ ᴏᴜʀ ꜰᴜʟʟ ᴍᴇɴᴜ (ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ)  ✼ ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀꜱʜɪᴘ (ᴛᴀɢʟɪꜱᴛ)

zhongli immediately tries to find the core of the problem. “what is it that troubles you, dearest? perhaps we can find a more peaceful solution? violence is not always the answer. this, i know from all the 6000 years i’ve lived—” aaaand there he goes on his lecture. if your goal was to get him to give you a preaching of a lifetime, well, congratulations, you’ve done it. sit back and relax, brew some tea, maybe get some snacks, because you’ll be here for a while.

al haitham, surprisingly, actually humors you. only because he knows you were teasing him and this is his way of teasing you back, but you’ll probably end up staring at him in confusion because he looks dead serious while doing so. “what an interesting offer. i’ll have to ask you to submit a formal proposal through your special submission channel. make sure you have several backup plans in case of emergencies. have it on my desk by tomorrow afternoon, the latest.”

wriothesley straight up denies you with a roll of his eyes. he knows you’re joking, and honestly speaking he would stain his hands with blood for you, but as much as he loves you, he really didn’t want you to end up at the fortress while under a sentence. although theoretically he could pull some strings to make sure you spent your sentence peacefully if that scenario ever happened, the fact was that such records will follow you for the rest of your life, and he wants you to stay in the sunlight. “what did i always tell you? don’t break the law... but if you really want to, how about you try to steal my breath away with a kiss?”

neuvillette stops writing his reports immediately, eyes wide and mouth slightly open. “my dear, come sit, let us converse.” he holds your hand and proceeds to rope you into a heart-to-heart talk. are you being harassed by someone? are you being threatened? the cup of water rippled erratically as he waited for you to answer those particular questions. is there something he could do to help that wouldn’t make either of you getting dragged into a court trial? can he— …. yeah, someone save him, he totally thinks that you’re serious.

childe agrees immediately. is that even a question? “sure! who do you need me to kill?” he asks, with his signature wide boyish grin plastered onto his face and his hand twitching to reach for his hydro blade. look. it’s your ajax. your (man)childe. your tartaglia. i bet you liked his murderous tendencies anyway. are you even surprised?

kaeya makes it a point to gasp and looking like a maiden who caught the sight of two lovers rendezvousing in the garden. when he notices you not buying his act, however, he laughs and switches gear into a teasing smile, “oh? was me stealing your heart not enough?”

diluc stares at you blankly, one eyebrow raised, his voice monotonous — if you hadn’t known how to read his minuscule reactions, you would have missed the spark of mirth dancing in his eyes; a trace of the young ‘luc buried deep inside the scarred heart of a charred phoenix, “…. hmph. did kaeya put you up to this?”

tighnari hums nonchalantly and gives you a knowing smirk, his tail swishing mischievously behind him, “perfect. i do have a rare specimen i’d like to plant. i’m sure it’ll benefit well from the nutrients it’ll absorb from your victim. so, where did you put the body?”

✼ ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀꜱʜɪᴘ (ᴛᴀɢʟɪꜱᴛ) ┈

@abyssmal-skies ! @hamdehlesmis ! @sunnshineflxwer ! @queen-belial ! @silentmoths

@dustofthedailylife ! @marina-and-the-memes ! @mixed-kester ! @lordbugs ! @anonymousficreader

@irethepotato ! @sassy-cat-in-town ! @syrenkitsune ! @smokipoki ! @cakeboxie

@crystalflygeo ! @ciexuvia ! @illaasya ! @celestewritestoomuch ! @pams-comfortzone

@spidermanluvr444 ! @ourstrawberryclouds ! @ryuryuryuyurboat ! @hrts4hanniehae ! @fiannee

@frosts-intuition ! @florapocalypses ! @genshin-impacts-me ! @scarasmood ! @hellcatinnc

@beloved-brynn ! @malachitemischief101 ! @average-yandere-enjoyer

[areislol]

A shopping spree

►— pairings. genshin men x gn! creator! reader

►— warnings. slightly suggestive, slight spoilers for the movie guardians of the galaxy? (nothing much really), not proof read.

►— synopsis. albedo created a machine where it would bring back their creator, who was stuck in another world, back to where they belong. but instead of bringing you here to them, it brought them to where you were.

►— a/n. i’m really enjoying this series sm 😭 and i’m really glad you guys are too!! makes me super happy i can’t even sjsnskwnaka BUT YES i hope you guys enjoy this!! ❤️

►— wordcount. 5.1k

��� part one | ✧ part two | ✧ part three | ✧ part four | ✧ part five | more tba.. NAVIGATION

recommended to listen to: moon - siggerr or mabagal - daniel padilla & moira dela torre or flashing lights - kanye west

Previously..

“It’s silent and dark with only the sound of the softly humming fan. Everybody is awake and you knew it. You could hear the soft breathing of Al-haitham and Dainsleif coming from both sides of you. Soon, a thought and realisation pops in your mind.”

“Wait, you guys didn’t go shower yet.. right?”

“….Yeah..”

“You sighed, knowing that you would probably have to go shopping tomorrow for clothes and sanitary products aaaand probably go broke.”

Today was a new day as the sunlight seeped through the blinds, lighting up the room with a golden hue. Groaning softly you squeezed your eyes shut and stretched out your arms and feet when you suddenly felt two arms tightening their grip on your waist.

Your eyes snapped open and turned your head to the side and found Al-haitham nuzzling his face in your neck while Dainsleif snaked his arm your waist as tightly. No wonder why you felt so warm, and although your waist did hurt you didn’t complain at all.

Heat rushed to your cheeks as the realisation dawns on you. Two.. handsome muscular men.. hugging you in bed. And the more you really took a look at their faces and scanned their features did you really start to grow hot. Your body tenses up as you took a deep breath to calm down.

It’s okay Y/n, just breathe… breath in.. and breath ou-

Dainsleif’s arm around your waist tightens even more, and as he does this you realise something. His arm was resting on your bare stomach. I mean if you had a t-shirt on or something covering your stomach it would be okay but your stomach was being revealed, meaning that Al-haitham and Dainsleif was touching you bare..

Okay Y/n that sounded very weird.

But before you could’ve done anything you look up above and see Childe looming forward, smiling at you.

“Good morning snookums! How did you sleep? Terrible right? Since you weren’t sleeping with me.” Childe questioned before eyeing Al-hai Tham’s and Dainsleif’s arm snaking around your waist. A look of disgust forms on his face.

Although his thoughts differ from his face, he puts on a fake smile and offers to pull you out of this mess, although you really did like being sandwiched between them in the warmes they created, you really should get up as you had plans for today.

“Mhm, it is getting kind of hot being in between them..” you mumbled, face hot from embarrassment and also from the hotness.

Childe nod his head and placed his hands on your waist (while pushing Al-haitham and Dainsleif’s arms away) and hoisted you up. You yelped as you felt his sort-of cold hands on your bare skin and your hands latched onto his arm.

He set you down on the floor, the sounds of discomfort could be heard from the bed as their warmth was being taken away so abruptly. You felt bad for them but at the same time the way their face scrunched up and their arms scoop the empty space, trying to hold you but to no avail.

“Thanks Childe.. where is everybody else?” You asked, looking around your bedroom and seeing nobody else except for you, Childe, Al-haitham and Dainsleif.

You were sure one of the two would wake up early as they didn’t seem like the type to sleep in but considering they were still dead asleep, you changed your mind. (Truth was they do wake up early but since it was so warm and cozy they slept for a little longer)

You walked towards the bathroom and yawned, rubbing your eyes as you dragged your feet to the bathroom to get ready. From last night you knew that you had to go out shopping the next day, which was today.

Sighing, you began to brush your teeth while staring at yourself in the mirror, thinking about how much you were going to spend, you had to buy clothes, toothbrushes and food as well.

After spitting out the toothpaste with water you washed your face and walked back into your room and found Childe, Al-haitham and Dainsleif gone from your room, they probably went out to your living room.

You rummaged through your closet, trying to find a perfect outfit for today, but soon you realised that you weren’t going out on a date or somewhere big, just going out to buy necessities.

Grabbing a white tee and black shorts, you put it on before slipping on some socks. Once you checked how you looked in the mirror you flattened your hair a bit before walking out of your room and making your way to the living room.

“Good morning everyone” you greet, grabbing the plate with pancakes on them that Thoma handed over to you and thanked him.

Everybody greeted you back, some even getting up from their spots and walking up to you, wanting to eat next to you and feed you before anyone could.

“You look like you’re about to go out somewhere, are you?” Zhongli asked as he eyed you up and down, Neuvillette and Tighnari nodded, agreeing with Zhongli.

You began to stuff pancakes into your mouth and nod your head. “Mhm, waisht-“ you said with food still in your mouth. After gulping down the food you spoke again.

“Well I have to buy more toothbrushes, food and clothes for you guys as well, you can’t be going on about your day staying here wearing the same thing everyday right?”

They all hummed in agreement, going back to eating their pancakes. “I’ll be leaving in a few minutes, I’ll probably be back in an hour or so.”

All the while, Xiao walked up to you and stared at you intensely. Your eyes widened at him and smiled. “Yes Xiao?”

“Can I.. feed you too? I-I mean-“ his awkwardness and his blushing cheeks made your heart pound faster. He was adorable. “Of course, Xiao. I would love for you to feed me!”

You can see how Xiao’s cheeks flushed red when you agreed. Inside, his heart was racing 100x faster, and also from the happiness of feeding you first and beating the rest.

Opening your mouth, you wait for Xiao to feed you—and as he picks up the pancake with the fork, he placed it inside of your mouth, your mouth closed and you began to chew, somehow, it tasted even better when Xiao fed you.

“Mhm~ tastes even better..” you moaned, swallowing before opening your mouth once again to be fed. Xiao blushed some more as you opened your mouth, indicating that you wanted to be fed again.

And so that’s how Xiao ended up hand feeding you everything while everybody was glaring holes into the back of his head.

And Xiao knew this, but it didn’t affect him—not even the slightest. All he cared about was making sure you were being fed.

One by one everyone placed their plates in the sink, some washing their own dishes by their own to save Thoma some time while some didn’t (ahem wanderer and the fatui except for Pantalone and Pierro ahem).

Once everyone was done eating and the plates had been washed by Thoma with the help of you, you grabbed your bag and keys, making sure everything was in the bag.

“Okay, my keys yes, my purse yes, my pepper spray yes.. okay I’m ready!” You mumbled to yourself and put your shoes on before unlocking your door, not even a step outside—Zhongli called for you.

“How about some of us come with you? We need to make sure you’re safe and protect you.”

At first you refused to let them come, I mean they would attract so many people because of their peculiar clothings and their hair and everything!! But the more you thought about it the more you accepted it.

“Eh.. sure why not? But maybe just- uh, here come with me..” you closed the door behind you and took off your shoes and walked to your room. Zhongli along with Kaeya, Ayato and Neuvillette trailed behind you.

They entered the room and found you going through your wardrobe. “My friend gave me some of his shirts this one time, and I kept it. Thankfully I didn’t throw them out or something.. here, try these on in the bathroom.”

It was just a plain, simple t-shirt, nothing out of the ordinary. They all nodded and took the shirts you gave them, after a few minutes of everyone taking their turns using the bathroom they came out in a white tee shirt and grey sweatpants.

Honestly it was a miracle that you had enough clothes for them to use that were in their size. You had to admit, they looked quite fancy despite wearing something to simple, they looked like models.

“Alright, we’re done, we should go out now.” Zhongli nodded and let you walk out first. Reaching the door, you put on your shoes again and unlocked the door before turning around and waving goodbye.

“I’m off you guys! Remember, Dainsleif and Albedo are in charge, don’t make a mess!”

As you made sure everybody nodded their heads, you turned away and clicked the lock on your door before the others following right behind you, and with the sound of the door clicking closed, Wanderer, Childe, Xiao, Diluc and the fatui began to glare at each other.

It was only a couple minutes walk away to the closest mall, as you left the house, you could hear Kaeya gasping in awe. That’s right, ever since they arrived at your place they haven’t been out, so it would be their first time out in public.

They all looked around their surroundings, observing everything, from the tall buildings and the people on their skateboards, to the small lizards scrambling away from the pigeons.

“Oh, that seems interesting. What is that device they are riding on? That looks dangerous.” Zhongli points out, admiring how they did flips and tricks on the skateboard. “Oh that? That’s a skateboard, people use it to ride around the area and stuff like that.”

Zhongli hums when Ayato points out the large and tall buildings. “What do they even hold in that blue tall building?” He says, pointing at the building.

“For work and stuff.” You replied, walking on the path towards the mall. “For.. work? Wow..” Neuvillette makes sure that he walks side by side next to you.

They were all totally unaware of the people glancing at them, you couldn’t blame them, they looked like models. But you couldn’t help but feel a bubbling sensation of jealousy in the pit of your stomach.

Zhongli, Kaeya and Ayato walked up to you and Neuvillette, following right beside you.

You finally arrived at in front of the mall and smiled. “That’s the mall!” You point at the large, white building. “That’s a mall? It’s huge..” Kaeya mumbles to which you nod and smirk.

“That’s what she said.”

They all cock their heads to the side to what you said, you have never felt so embarrassed in your life before. “Oh no it’s nothing.” You quickly shut your mouth and began to make your way into the mall.

During the — what you called — a shopping spree (because you have never went out to a mall for so long before), you smiled many times due to the cuteness of them being in awe and amazement at everything.

Although you frowned as well due to the many stares coming from multiple people. You could literally feel them staring at them, and when you turned your head around you could see groups of girls giggling to themselves before looking away, still giggling.

You were fuming in the inside but couldn’t show it, I mean it wasn’t like you guys were dating or anything so what was there to be jealous about?

But it was almost like they could sense your jealousy, so as you two were just walking to the clothing shop, Kaeya wrapped his arm around your neck, pulling you in close to him.

“Kaeya? What are you doing that fo-“ “shhh, just relax, where are we going now?”

“To Uniqlo… a clothing shop.”

Kaeya hums and you two made your way to Uniqlo. Before you knew it, Kaeya had his arm around your neck, Ayato holding your hand as Zhongli and Neuvillette trailed behind you.

As you all walked into the clothing shop, you were greeted by a helper and as soon as she laid eyes on the four men you were accompanied with, you noticed how she batted her eyelashes at them, maybe your eyes were playing tricks on you.

“Hello, welcome to Uniqlo! Are you guys looking for something in particular? Perhaps i could give..” the worker looks up at Zhongli. “You a discount.”

You step in between them and smiled. “Excuse, it’s not just him here you know? And we’re fine by ourselves, thank you.”

The lady seems taken aback from your sudden appearance even though she could literally spot you with them all. Forcing a smile, she nods her head and apologised.

As you squeeze Ayato’s hands tighter, you dragged him deeper into the store. They all gave each other a look of “what just happened back there, is it what I think it is?”

But before any of them could question why you sounded bitter and jealous, you already let go of Ayato’s hand and Kaeya’s grasp—walking over to shelves full of clothes.

You spent the next hour making them trying on clothes, holding up the hanger with the shirts on them and pressing it against their body.

“Eh.. that should fit! Go inside the changing rooms and then come out, we can judge then. And also tell me if it fits.”

And so after spending a few minutes of changing in and out of the changing rooms and finding some shirts, jackets and pants for them (you really struggled with trying to find the right size for everybody.. especially Itto. So you just bought two pairs of each size.) you walked to the counter and bought everything.

“And your total is $150.47 cents!”

“… s-sorry come again?”

“Your total is $150.47 cents? Cash or card?”

You held your purse and stared at the screen that clearly read “$150.47”. You paid and left the shop absolutely bamboozled and crying on the inside—so much money was spent.. even your purse was crying.

While Zhongli, Ayato, Kaeya and Neuvillette followed you from behind, watching you sulk. “$150 is nothing, don’t you think?” Maybe they’re overreacting a little bit?” Ayato whispered to Zhongli.

“Hm, I’m sure their currency is different than ours and the value.” He replied, watching you walk so… sadly. If that was even a thing. Neuvillette nodded, agreeing with Zhongli.

All of the sudden you stopped in your tracks and turned around, looking at them. It almost gave them a heart attack.

“Food! I forgot to buy food and snacks! No time for sulking I’ll go sulk later!”

You quickly grabbed the hand of the person closer to you—which was Neuvillette (which caught him off guard but he held onto your hand tightly nonetheless) and began to walk fast to wherever you were going to.

“It’s almost 3 pm, we should hurry up, I don’t want to leave them for too long.. oh! We should go to a food court and just buy take away instead of buying ingredients, I’ll do that another day.” You rambled.

Entering the food court, they all looked around in amazement but also.. somewhat disgust? It definitely looked dirty and it would be downright weird to eat in a place that is unhygienic.

“Lets buy some sushi and rice.” You stated, holding onto both Neuvillette and Kaeya’s hand and walking to the sushi bar.

“Mm~ it certainly smells amazing! Are we going to eat this for lunch or dinner?” Kaeya asks, mouth almost drooling from the smell of sashimi. You nod your head and chuckled. “Of course, eat it whenever you’re hungry!”

After ordering everything you needed, you all walked out of the mall with at least one or two bags in a hand. But it wasn’t a long walk from the mall to your home so it wasn’t that bad.

While walking, they had all offered to hold your bags but you refused, replying with “I’m fine it’s not that heavy” or “it’s okay really, my hands don’t hurt at all.” And honestly, they just wanted to help you and make sure you go about your day not having to hold anything or put it in the energy.

I mean of course being a dependent person is where it’s at but, they just want to prove to you that they were a strong and capable man. But you already knew that.

Unlocking the door, you twisted the door knob and pushed the door open with your arm. “We’re home~ did you guys have fun?”

You asked, leaving the door open for Zhongli, Kaeya, Neuvillette and Ayato to come in. After closing the door you locked it again and made your way to the kitchen, placing the bags down on the counter with them mirroring your actions—placing the bags on the kitchen counter.

Venti, Heizou, Kaveh, Childe, Itto and Gorou sprung up from the floor, as if they were anticipating your come back. “Y/n!! You’re back, what took you so long?” Itto asked, running up to you and engulfing you in a warm and tight embrace.

You were somewhat suffocating, although you couldn’t really complain because your head was in between his man-boobs. What a dream..

Ayato placed his hand on Itto’s arm and smiled menacingly at him. “You’re suffocating Y/n, you know?” Itto immediately looked at you and you smiled sheepishly up at him.

“Awh.. we’ll okay then..” Itto pouts and lets you go reluctantly, you heaved a great sigh and thanked Itto. “Sorry for leaving you guys for so long, we had to buy many things. Oh and we bought sushi and other stuff to eat for dinner!”

A collective hum, and “yum!”’s could be heard from everyone, some started to get up and move to the kitchen, taking a peek inside the bags or just grabbing whatever was inside and taking a closer look at everything.

While everyone was doing their thing, you took your shoes off and began to walk to your room to go get your clothes and shower.

“Nothing happened right? Nothing broke nor any fight broke out..?” You asked, peeping out of your room and eyeing everyone.

It was silent.

Venti, Dainsleif and Cyno and everybody side-eyed Childe and Wanderer to which Wanderer scowled at. “What are you guys looking at?!” Cyno rolled his eyes and replied with a quiet “nothing”.

It was obvious some fight did break out but they didn’t dare ruin your place so they didn’t throw any hands (because Dainsleif, Al-haitham, Capitano, Kazuha and Pantalone wereholding them back).

Sighing, you grabbed your pajamas and entered your bathroom, stepped inside and locked the door and began to take a shower and just relax.

And relax you did. The hot water hitting and running down your hair, back and chest immediately relaxed your muscles, this is definitely what you needed after walking all day surrounded by people in the mall.

After giving your non existent crowd a spectacular performance and concert, you finished up your shower and dried yourself and pat your hair dry—putting on your pajamas before leaving the bathroom and exiting the room with a small towel wrapped around your hair (head?? You were going to let it air dry and dry it later).

The smell of fresh sushi filled your nose as you walked into the living room. You could see Kaeya, Lyney, Venti and Xiao sitting down at the kitchen counter—plates filled with sushi on them in front of them.

In fact, you could see everybody already eating and enjoying their sushis, smiling at the scene before you, “eating without me already?” You joked, seating yourself down beside the coffee table where a plate with sushi on it laid in front of you.

“We wanted to wait for you but some people just couldn’t wait..” Cyno sighed, shaking his head disapprovingly.

The ones who already began to eat froze. Dropping the sushi in their mouth and placing their fork down. “Y/n- I swear I didn’t mean to but-“ “what? It was just a joke.. did you think I would be mad at you guys for eating without me?”

Itto nod his head and looked guilty. “Oh.. well I’m not mad okay!! I understand if you can’t resist the hunger” you laughed, popping a sushi in your mouth and chewing on it.

“Mhm!! Sho shgood! Eat you guys!!” You said with food stuffed in your mouth—shielding your mouth with your hand.

They nod their heads and began to eat their own sushi, also moaning from the taste and enjoying it as much as you did.

Thankfully you bought more, as some started to ask for seconds. Once you were full you laid back on the couch, watching a few continued to eat more sushi.

“Full? So am I.. it was certainly delicious Y/n! Thank you so much for everything..”

The sudden voice of Albedo snapped you out of your trance, you smiled softly and shook your head. “It’s nothing Albedo, I’m sure it must be hard to be away from home..” you frowned.

Albedo hummed. “I guess so but, being with you is much better.”

His words made you feel things, warmth spreading across your body and cheeks. “Oh- well, that’s something.” You chuckled nervously, looking down to avoid his gaze.

Looking back up, your gaze wandered off to the clock. 5 pm. Still early, you thought. While thinking of what you all could possibly do, a sudden thought pops up in your mind.

UNO. A simple but fun card game that is somewhat similar to TCG so it should bring some comfort to them. Not only that but… it could maybe bond you all closer?

“Hey, how about we play some UNO after everyone is done eating? It’s pretty easy I can explain everything to you guys.”

Albedo smiles, “that sounds lovely.” And so after everyone had finished eating their sushi, you grabbed the pack of UNO cards and sat everybody down in your living room. Honestly, how was everybody going to sit in one giant circle and reach to place their cards down? Seems like you would all have to be throwing them in the middle.

“Okay so, we are going to include stack here alright? Stack is when you stack the cards that have the same number — despite different colours — or pluses — when you make the next person get two or four cards —, reverses and skips.”

After explaining the rules, everybody got the grasp of the game and began to play. At first it was confusing, but soon after they got the hang of it it became competitive, only because Kaveh, Wanderer, Childe, Itto, Kaeya and Pantalone made it competitive.

After a few rounds the winner was announced. But the thing was, it was tied between Cyno and Al-haitham.

“Ugh, every time I play TCG with them they always seem to win or tie!” Kaveh groans, clutching onto his wild cards. “I will win one day!”

Al-haitham sighs, putting down his cards. “You’ve said that a million times now, when will it really happen?”

But there seemed to be a few people who were not willing to lose of the grand scribe.. (Childe.) and demanded for another round but by now it was 6 and the sun was setting.

Wanting to use the time to bond, you (again) decided to watch movies with them. As it seemed last time they really enjoyed it.

When you suggested the idea of watching another movie, an immediate “yes please!” Was heard from many. Switching off the light switch, darkness soon enveloped the room with only the light of the TV illuminating onto everybody in front of it.

You seat yourself down on the floor this time beside Ayato and Xiao (much to everyone’s dismay, they wanted to sit next to you.. sigh..)

After snuggling beside them and tucked yourself into the blankets, you had already began to chew on your popcorn. “Don’t you think you should save those for when the movie really starts, Y/n?” Ayato chuckled, patting your hand to stop you for eating.

You blushed and nod your head. “Mhm, okay.”

And again, the whole movie was a roller coaster. You, Kaveh and Freminet were left in tears, you were a total mess from the middle of the movie to the end. The plot twists and emotional scenes made you bawl your eyes out.

“Tissues, Y/n.” Xiao said, offering you a box of tissues as he watches you cry your eyes out. He then found his palm against your cheek as he wiped your tears with this thumb.

“Remember what you told us Y/n, this is all fake and not real, try not to cry so much, your eyes will get red and puffy.”

You sniffled and pat your eyes dry and blew your nose. “Mhm, y-you’re right Xiao.. thanks.” You softly said, giving him a tiny smile, and that was enough to make his heart explode.

During the movie, you began to feel sleepy. With how warm you were, how the room was dark, with the soft glow coming from the TV and illuminating on your face made you all the more drowsy.

You fought to stay awake, wanting to finish the movie to the end and then sleep but your heavy eyelids said otherwise, because soon you were knocked out cold, and if not for the soft snores escaping your lips, they wouldn’t even have noticed until the end of the movie.

Ayato could hear your soft snores and turned to look at you, smiling at your sleeping face before gazing at the clock, 7 pm. You normally didn’t sleep at that time but considering you were already asleep, Ayato decided to put you to bed anyway.

Slowly getting up from his spot, he removed the blanket from your body and carefully wrapped his arms around your back and legs, hoisting you up into his arms—carrying you bridal style.

The others turned and looked at you before looking at your sleeping figure in his arms. “Y/n’s already sleeping already?” Tighnari whispers, eyes focused on you, the answer was clear but he asked anyway. Ayato nodded.

“I’ll be taking her to bed, if anyone wants to go sleep early with them I suggest you go now.” Ayato states before turning around and walking off to your room.

He could hear people hastily getting up and scrambling to be the first in your room. Ayato could only sigh before setting you down onto your bed and covering you with your blanket, tucking you in.

Cute, I’m going to be the one sleeping with you tonight.

Ayato checks to make sure you’re looking comfortable before walking to your bathroom, grabbing one of the toothbrushes (that you had opened for everyone and write their names on it) and applied the toothpaste before beginning to brush his teeth.

He could hear the others whisper-yelling over who was sleeping with you this night, Ayato would make sure to scold them later for arguing in your presence later.

After finishing brushing his teeth, he walked back into your bathroom and made his way through the people fighting to sleep next to you.

He slipped inside your covers and made himself comfortable. When he opened his eyes, everyone was staring at him in confusion and anger.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

“Sleeping with Y/n of course, what else?”

“Ugh I’m gonna kill yo-!”

“Sh! Y/n’s sleeping, remember?” Ayato shushes them, pointing at your peacefully sleeping figure. Your face buried softly pressed against his waist.

The others groan at yet another fail of fighting to sleep with you and glared at Ayato who ordered them to go brush their teeth.

But even as they complained they obliged and walked one by one into the bathroom and brushed their teeth.

Soon, after a few minutes everyone from the living room walked into your bedroom and was immediately ordered by Ayato to go brush their teeth, all the while their eyes almost popped out of their sockets after seeing you sleeping beside Ayato.

“Also, I’m going to be choosing who else will be sleeping beside Y/n.” Ayato states, yawning. “Why you? Who decided you could?” Wanderer asked while scowling at Ayato in distaste.

He shrugs his shoulders. “It’s just for one night, don’t worry Wanderer.”

Ayato then chose Kazuha to be the one to sleep beside you, he wasn’t as big as Itto so he couldn’t suffocate you and seemed like a peaceful sleeper. He also didn’t snore like Itto.

Kazuha thanked Ayato and took off some of his clothes and changed into a plain white tee and shorts, it was.. definitely something.

He soon climbed into bed with you and laid beside you to your right, sighing in content. You were so warm..

The others began to settle themselves on the mattresses while the other walked out of your bedroom and into the guest bedroom, knowing that they would probably be sleeping there for a while until you picked them to be in your bed (or if something like this that happened between you and Ayato, to happen to them)

Dainsleif reached to the ceiling and turned on the fan, knowing that you liked to sleep with some background noise. Then, Venti, who was the closest to the light switch flicked the switch down, the room went dark.

They could finally peacefully sleep in the darkness of the room with the sounds of your soft snores and also because Itto was not in the room meaning no loud snores that would keep them up!!

“Anyone still awake?” Kaveh softly asked, waiting for a response. “Mhm.” Al-haitham, Dainsleif, Gorou, Wriothesley and Baizhu answered.

“A serious question, what do you guys think about Y/n’s world and house and everything? Do you guys like it here?”

There was a long, silent and deafening pause. Then an answer.

“Honestly, I really don’t mind being anywhere as long as our grace- I mean Y/n is with me, although I do miss teyvat and my home I also find Y/n’s house comforting and calm. Plus, I don’t have to fight any monsters.”

The remaining people that were still awake hummed and thought about Gorou’s response. It wasn’t false.

“Mhm, I agree, as long as I’m with Y/n I don’t care about where we are, even though we just met a few days ago, I feel so drawn to them. I don’t ever want to leave them.” Dainsleif chimes in, letting out a sigh.

“Agreed.”

note: RAGHHHHHHHHHH IM ENJOYING THESE SERIES SO MUCH EJSNSKSJSJSJS I HOPE U GUYS ENJOYED THIS 🫶🏻

Took me longer than expected I’m sorry 😢

taglist: @tomansimp @one-offmind @miitchiji @dainsleif-when-playable @momoewn @stygianoir @irethepotato @v4an @imetsk @fiannee @sunnyf4lls @goldenglow149 @rhwm @urlocalheizousimp @hex-vx @saltylovetale @backintomykpopphaseagain @toramune @oreo-ren @serenity-loves-red @flooofity @minteasketches @amaizverydum @lovelive-animequeen1029 @roseapov @yuraasia @chellazhef @fulldoves @kateybuggi @wanderingconstellations @mini-shower @160ccm @rosariashield @sickize @sarah22447 @dreamlessnight @gimmealamp @bebeluvs @caramelstarlight @sukiidreams @oceanisty @achy-boo @alhaitie @dilucragnvindr-my-beloved @that-mom-friend @v-sh @merormerry

(if the usernames aren’t highlighted that’s because I can’t tag you so I’ll dm you when I post a new chapter!)

liking + following + reblogs are greatly appreciated!!!

[little-pondhead]

Damian was once reminded of a quote.

God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers.

The saying held no meaning for him, but it slipped out of his mouth once when his mind was wandering and hazy, and his self-control was null.

The boy sitting beside him huffed, a flicker of amusement flashing across his face. The most emotion either of them has been able to express for a while now.

"That line is bullshit," the boy whispered. His voice was hoarse and raw. Damian had to strain to hear him. "I've met many gods, and they would rather sacrifice their soldiers if it meant their own survival."

Damian's head lolled to one side, contemplating his words. "Indeed," he croaked. "I've met my fair share of gods as well. They were, how do you put it..."

"Wimpy? Disappointing? Underwhelming?" The boy offered. The conversation wasn't the most cheery subject to talk about, but it served to fight off the medicine that was attacking their minds.

"Soft-bodied bitches." Damian let out an uncharacteristic snicker. The boy broke out into giggles, that soon transformed into violent coughs. Thick blood was spat onto the ground, and the temporary joy dissipated from the air.

No jokes could cover up the fact that they were trapped.

Well, not trapped. They'd been captured. And caged. Like fucking animals. It was humiliating and terrifying at the same time.

When Damian first landed in this dimension, he immediately knew something was off. He paid no mind to the empty streets of a half-destroyed town nor the strange graffiti and green fog that reminded him of Fear Gas. Blast marks made his footsteps dirty, but he barely even noticed. What was truly unsettling to him was the immediate pull he felt toward a certain direction. His very soul was crying out desperately for something, and it was all Damian could do to follow the urge.

He walked for what felt like hours. Glowing eyes peeked at him from the shadows, scattering when he approached. The fog got thicker, dragging at his bones and making his heartbeat feel slower. The silence was mind-numbing, and he didn't dare make a peep.

As he got to (what he assumed) the center of town, Damian noticed a thick, rotting stench replacing the fog within the span of a few blocks. Glowing red flowers lined the sidewalks and streets, sometimes sitting in piles in the mouth of alleyways or arranged in a line across the doorway of a shop. Like how one would salt their home to ward off evil. When he tried to get a closer look and possibly a sample, his body physically recoiled from the flowers as if stung. The mere presence of them made him feel sick.

So he ignored them for now. Damian continued to trudge along in a straight line, following his instincts. As the fog lifted even more, sound returned to the world as well. The town was truly abandoned, then. No sirens or car horns were going off. No one was running through the streets, panicked about the fight that had obviously taken place.

What Damian did hear was two voices raised in anger, a third in fear, and the sound of concentrated explosions happening nearby. He broke into a run. The fight that brought him here had done some decent damage to his outfit and person. His mask was barely clinging on, his armor was digging into his skin strangely, and he'd lost his weapons, but as soon as Damian had heard that third voice, he just had to run.

Damian knew he was going against all his training by rushing into the situation. Logically, he should have backed out as soon as he heard the commotion. Maybe retreated completely or at least snuck around to assess the situation first. But no, here he was, barely keeping his secret identity intact, bolting towards a group of unknowns like his life depended on it. His mind screamed at him that it did.

He finally rounded a corner and nearly tripped on the excessive rubble. He'd made it to the town square. There were more red flowers and blast marks. A pair of adults, one impossibly large man and a smaller, lithe woman in hazmat suits, were standing back to back, glowing guns raised as they searched the sky and ground around them. He stepped behind a chunk of concrete to hide himself better.

"Show yourself, Phantom!" The woman screamed. She was so full of rage. "There are blood blossoms surrounding this whole area; I know you can't leave!"

There was a slight shift in the rubble to Damian's right. Without hesitation, the man spun around and shot the pile. Damian didn't have time to move, so he just crouched and covered his head while a blast of green light destroyed the pile and surrounding debris. When the light cleared, Damian was distantly horrified to find that his cover had taken on the brunt of the rebound blast and had been reduced to pebbles. His cover was gone.

The man immediately noticed him.

"Oh, look, Mads! Another one!"

The woman whipped around to study his tiny figure, still curled up to protect himself. Damian knew these were dangerous people. Why couldn't he get up and run? The woman grinned awfully and hiked up her gun-more like a bazooka-to aim at Damian.

"How wonderful, Jack!" She crowed. "Phantom would never leave one of his kind behind. And this one is so human-shaped! It looks just like Danny."

"Using the pest as bait? I'm so glad I married you, Maddie." The man gushed, slipping his goggles and hood off to gaze lovingly at his wife.

Damian's heart stopped. He couldn't take his eyes off the evil, terrible look on the man's face.

"Father?" He mouthed.

The couple didn't notice. The woman just took aim, and for the life of him, Damian couldn't force himself to move.

That was his father. That was Bruce Wayne in a hazmat suit, shooting up a city without regard for human life. That was Batman, who was pointing a gun at his face, no recognition showing in his eyes whatsoever.

The bazooka went off first.

"NO!" Someone cried, coming out of nowhere and slamming into Damian's frozen form. His head bounced off the ground, and the last thing he saw was his own eyes staring back at him.

---

Damian came back to himself slowly. It was unnaturally bright where ever he was. His limbs were stretched far straighter than he would have liked them, and the feeling of dried glue on his face told him that someone had captured him, stripped him, and tied him to a table.

This time, though, his training did kick in. As soon as he was aware of himself, he regulated his breathing so it would appear he was still asleep. The air still smelled of rot and concrete dust, but there was a sharp tinge of chemicals in there, too. It was chilly despite no nearby AC vent going. A lab? Underground, perhaps? He dared not open his eyes, but he could feel something familiar laying on his left.

A door hissed open, and the voices of the couple from earlier entered, arguing with a third party.

"-said we got to start the dissections first!" The woman, Maddie, demanded. "That was our deal! If we handed Phantom and any other specimens over to you, the lab would let us have the first go for the experiments!"

"Yeah!" Added in Bru-Jack's voice. "We could learn so much from a powerful specimen like Phantom, and he's been a pest to us much longer than he has been to the GIW. We can put him back together for the rest of your scientists if you really want."

The third-party spoke, sounding irritated and exhausted from arguing. "Listen," they stressed, flipping through papers. "I'm not saying you can't partake in the agreed-upon experiments. I'm saying that you failed to fulfill a crucial part of the contract and cannot even look at a scalpel until you complete your part of the job!"

"WHAT?!" Maddie screeched. There was a flurry of paper sounds, so Damian assumed she'd snatched a pile of them from the third person's hands. There was a moment of silence while she read, and then, "Oh, fudge cake! Jack, the contract states we have to provide a minimum number of specimens plus Phantom in order to be let into the labs. We'll have to go out and round up as many as we can before we start dissecting."

Jack grumbled. "Fudgin' lawyers and their tricky tongues."

The third person tsked them and snatched the papers back. "No lawyer trickery was used here, Mr. Fenton. We prepared this document in good faith, seeing as we're already business partners. It's not our fault you signed before reading. Now, I heard that the Manson house has been a well-known haunting spot ever since the family moved out. Perhaps you should start there?"

Jack and Maddie grumbled some more but agreed and left the room, with the third person sighing and following them. The door locked shut with a click that echoed in Damian's ears. He waited for a breath. Then two. Once he was sure the party was gone, he cracked open his eyes and looked to his left, where his soul was still trying to reach.

There was a boy staring back at him.

Strapped to a table, just like Damian, a thin and lanky boy around his own age seemed just as surprised as him when they locked eyes and something clicked in their brains. Damian realized that while the boy was obviously not human, with his floating white hair and dim green eyes, he did share the exact same face with Damian, if not extremely paler. In fact, the boy's skin was deathly, almost taking on a mottled blue-green tinge he'd seen dead bodies develop.

The boy got over his surprise first. He grinned at Damian, clearly exhausted but obviously trying to make the situation seem less dire than it actually was. "Why, hello, stranger," he quipped. "What a good looking face you have there."

"Of course you would say that." Damian snapped automatically.

The boy just chuckled, unfazed by his attitude. "Chill out, my guy, I'm just joking. If I had to guess, you're from another dimension, right?"

Damian stiffened up, straining against his restraints. "How did you know that?" He hissed, glaring.

The boy sighed. He suddenly looked much older than either of them had any right to be. "You reek of the Deep Zone, dude. It's not something humans can smell easily, but with a little practice, you should pick it up quick."

"What makes you say I'm not human? And why-"

"Why did you feel a connection?" The boy turned his head back to the ceiling, eyes unfocused. He looked and sounded very sad. "I'm pretty sure we're alternate versions of each other, my dude. I've met a few other versions of myself, mostly from other timelines, but you're the first one who is so obviously different and so similar at the same time. It's weird."

Damian's heart dropped.

"...Alternate versions of each other?"

The boy nodded. He was refusing to look at Damian's reaction. Scared of rejection. "Yeah. And every version of me has died and come back in some way at least once, so by the time we're a preteen, we no longer identify as strictly human. Although," his voice grew bitter. "We do get pretty good at blending in, according to others."

Damian examined the boy more closely. His outfit was falling apart from whatever he'd gone through, but it was very clearly an old hazmat suit with a logo on the chest. Scars, both new and old, littered his skin, some of them matching the scars on Damian's own body. His eyes weren't dim originally, it seemed. They had swirled and glowed brighter when the boy had spoken, and his whole demeanor screamed exhaustion. Thinking back on everything he learned since being dropped in the middle of the street, Damian put two and two together quite easily.

"You're a hero." Damian pointed out. "An undead hero." The boy flinched but nodded.

"Was. The key word there. Not many people enjoyed having a ghost around to save their asses, even when it was from other ghosts." He held no resentment in his voice, just genuinely upset and betrayed that the people he had protected for so long and loved so much had turned on him, and abandoned him in his time of need.

"And, these people don't think the undead are...human?"

"Not in the slightest. We're apparently unfeeling monsters with no sentience but are driven by a single goal to destroy anything living."

"So now we are to be dissected? For what? The ghosts I know don't have physical bodies. What use would this be?"

The boy scrunched his nose. "Damn, your universe must really be out in the sticks if your ghosts aren't solid." Somehow, Damian felt offended. "Don't give me that attitude; I can feel you judging me. Anyway, the ectoplasm here is much thicker than other universes, so most other ghosts can walk around and act just like humans if they want to. They just usually don't because we are technically a different species. It's like asking a dog to act like a cat."

"Hmm. I'm starting to understand."

"That's great!" The smile returned, and the boy turned his head a little too far to make proper eye contact once more. "By the way, I never got your name. Do we share the same one?"

"Perhaps. I go by Damian Wayne. What is your name?"

The boy gave him a shark-toothed grin, one that was barely familiar. It reminded Damian of his grandfather. "Oh, my ghost name is Phantom, but my living name is Danny Fenton."

---

[that's all I got in me, but anyone is free to take this and keep going. Like a baton race at track meets. Go win us gold!]

Ooooh I just came up with an idea

You know all of this fics where Danny is an alternate universe version of like Bruce or Jason? What if it was with Damian

There could be some kind of ritual that sends Damian into Danny’s universe only they both get caught by the GIW and Everything Goes Wrong

By that I mean both of them get vivisected. And the Fentons should do at least some of it, and that Jack looks just like Bruce for extra ✨trauma✨

They both go on the Road Trip of Hell while escaping and Danny’s just working on building a temporary portal to the Ghost Zone/Damian’s home dimension.

I want Danny to lean out of a car with like a mcguivered bazooka or something to try and drive off the GIW for a while with some kind of crazy/stressed smile back at Damian.

I want little moments where they’re bonding/teaching each other how to fight (Because Damian knows formal fighting, and if we go with Danny knowing some self defense from his mom he’s not completely horrible at it, but Danny knows how to fight like a feral raccoon. It’s effective and Damian DOES like animals right?)

I want them to finally get to Damian’s dimension and when they finally finally gets to the bats and Bruce reaches out to help his son Damian flinches

And then I want it to get into the fluff/healing/trauma dumping part where the newly dubbed twins (who get along scarily well and everyone is pretty sure are trauma bonded) are healing while simultaneously causing the other bats to become more and more distressed (it may or may not be on purpose)

It would also be pretty cool if their habits and mannerisms rubbed off on one another, so they can be uncannily similar one moment then completely different the next

I also had the idea of them being literally the same soul- like, the soul that originally formed was completely identical when they were babies but diverged due to different experiences, so it’s literally a ‘same soul two bodies’ thing. I just think it would be neat, even if it’s not even really mentioned, but just like, Implied you know?

[evilminji]

You know what would be HILARIOUS?

For everyone NOT involved in the situation?

If the Uzumaki, mad lads that they were, seal master's who routinely moon the Shinigami for funsies that they are, got SUUUUUPER drunk? And were like?

"F-! *hic!* FUCK your fancy ass Summons contract Himiko! I got one TOO, you know. A..An' it's TOTALLY better then yours! It's got BLACKJACK! And hookers!" *falls on their face unconscious*

Needless to say? Not their proudest moment. Actually, their kinda deeply embarrassed. But like FUCK ARE THE BACKING DOWN! Their mouths wrote a check their ass can't currently cash... so the only REASONABLE solution? Apologize and tell the truth? Psh! NO.

Break Reality Until It's TRUE.

THEN they weren't technically lying!

They're a GENIUS~☆! :D

And yes, yes this IS normal behavior for them. It's both cultural AND genetic. There was a REASON people were terrified of those insane mother fuckers.

Because? They just? MADE UP a A Summons Contract. With Who? Dunno! We're gonna find out! But it looks right Seals wise! *signs name before anyone with sense can stop them, does the signs, draws blood aaaand?*

POOF!

Nani THE FUCK!? Says local dead Japanese 16th century fisherman who was flying by to visit the Lair of his buddy the 14th century monk. Behold! A FUCKING ZONE GHOST! He is unsummoned before he can react.

The Uzumaki have A Ghost Contract™.

.........th....they may have fucked up.

YOU THINK?

Roars basicly the ENTIRE Elders council. Who FUCKING FELT THAT. Because EVERYONE Felt that. They're SENSOR. That was a HOLE in REALITY that somehow GLOWED like a BEACON of both absolute Nothingness and Death! You TRAUMATIZED THE KIDS, YOU ASSHOLE!

Still....they ARE ninja. And Curious mother fuckers to the last.

So basically EVERYONE and their dog signs it. They somehow get WEIRDER. Bigger Chakra reserves. Obsessive tendencies. Meh, you win some, you lose some.

But? Then they fuckin DIE. (And their WHOLE ASS VILLAGE SHOWS UP IN THE ZONE. OH GOD, WHAT-!?)

And some grave robbing fuck tries to use the Contract. SUPRISE MOTHERFUCKER!

Ghost Uzumaki!

Your literal worst nightmare!

They DO NOT try using it again. It gets sealed DEEP. Until the Hokage gets wind of it. And, of course, Danzo. The Hokage sends Hound. And Team Kakashi on a completely unrelated but nearby "help a farmer" mission. Danzo sends assassins. Because he's fucking awful.

Kakashi gets the scroll.

Yep. Creepy rambling and shit handwriting, def Uzumaki. Time to go.

He gets attacked on the way back to camp. GDI Root. Well, its you or me. Sucks for you, I guess. They fight. They get a lucky shot. He bleeds on the scroll, doesn't notice. But SURELY... SURELY it isn't CROWDED enough with names that the Uzumaki just added a "and anyone who bleeds on THIS part at the bottom _______ plus does the handsigns" towards the end.... RIGHT??

RIGHT?! Look him in the EYES Uzumaki Clan, RIGHT??!

They would prefer not to answer that. The Vibez here are getting REALLY aggressive, you know? >.> It made sense at THE TIME...

So... he goes to summon his Dogs.

And he SURE DOES GET UM.... plus One(1!!!).

Who the FUCK is this glowing green dog? A puppy? Kakashi seeing the dimwitted looking little thing about to get STABBED tries to rescue it. It takes one look look at him (worried for it), the other dogs (growling at his enemies, fighting) and... turns around, shifting as it does, to HUNDREDS of times it's previous size.

Like an Akimichi transformation.

A sudden, hulking, green WOLF with red glowing eyes and killing intent that would Rival a demon's. The howl is unearthly. It joins the fray like a meat thresher.

Then pops back to a floating, tongue lolling, dimwitted pup the second everything is done.

G...God boy?

Far be it for KAKASHI to fear a dog, no MATTER how dangerous. So he carries it back to camp. Where it seems to instant fall in LOVE with Naruto. They become the BEST of friends.

There's frolicking.

Looking down at the pocket with the scroll he reclaimed? Yeah. Yeah that tracks. According to Pakkun, the pup has a "weird, echo-y" accent and is incredibly scatter brained. Training to be a gaurd dog? WAS Training. IS currently... what.

Okay. IS currently the gaurd dog/pet of an Emperor. Because THATS not alarming. Did the Royal family all... wait... he examines the pup again. Transparent. Was it KILLING intent he felt... or a Deathy pressure? Didn't the Uzumaki have Forbidden soul and death seals? It would stand to REASON...

Oh god damn it.

Pakkun. Pakkun please tell me that pup is ALIVE.

(He can not.) (Hilariously? Dispite being TERRIFIED of Ghosts? Naruto is TOTALLY COOL with Zone Ghosts? Don't be MEAN, Sensei! They're just PEOPLE! It's not THEIR fault They're dead! Now GHOSTS? Spooky and EVIL! Totally different.)

@hdgnj @babbling-babull @hypewinter @legitimatesatanspawn @mayfay

[skekthesilly]

ii s2 ep 16 spoilers

welcome to: INANIMATE WOKESANITY

we have EVERTONES FAVORITE HOST, THEYPHONE4!!!!!!!!

and EVERYONES FAVORITE COHOSTS, they/SHEPAD and toilet (i coulgnt think of one for toilet spare me)

now for the CONTESTANT!!!!!!s under the cut

apPRONOUNS!!!!

DEMIBOYloon

baseBI

bombSBIAN

BIw

BIx

cheeSHE/HE

cherrTHEYS

DEMIough

MTFan

BIfe

TRANSbulb

marshmallWOKE

micQUEERphone

nickHER

oGAY

PRONOUNSbrush

THEYper

PANper

pickHER

THEY/THalt

ASEXUAoap

suitcACE

TRANSco

TRANS tube

tisSHE/HERs

trophFEM

THEM-THEYng

aaaand our VERY SPECIAL SEASON 3 DEBUTERS!!!!!!!!!

blueTHEIRy

BIt

cabbHE/HIM

candHER

clovSHE/HER

gAY

FEMring

yaoi spoon :)

SHE kettHER

the floor (TRANS)

OH YEAH ALSO!!!! THE UNWOKEVITATIONAL COMITTEE (THEYRE STILL WOKE)

judge GAYvel

ballpoint THEM

dr. FEMz

groscHER

inani-THEYts

springSHE/HER

FEMkie THEMkie

saberspark

HOPEFULLY YOU DIDNT FORGET ABOUT:

THEYt-ball

BIell

cookHE/SHE

dictionarTHEY

magnifying gTHEYS

PANtart

spikeSHE/HERvert

TRANSdy THEIR

TSHE

"omg what about the mephones??" we have them all

THEYphoneSHE/HE s

THEYphone4FEMs

THEYphone uh...5

THEYphone5THEMs

THEYphoneSHEs

THEYphoneSHE plus. im runnig out of ideas here i know only like 3 genders

THEYphoneFEMven

mephonex aka woke remover

also the WOKE PRIDERS

oh yeah the alternatr universe people WE HAVE THEM TOO

THEMnana

barrHER

black hole???? uh umm uhh

MTFrank

THEY bale

kumQUEER

HEll

HERmos

SAPPHIC light

other guys

guitHER

rubbHER BIall

THEYler BImbard

THEYler BIngard

baxter (pansexual)

this took me so long im dead. im litearlyy dead im and dead helg mpe,,

[rebeltigera]

What is V!wukongs back story?

Ya guys always ask good questions that i have no capability to answer to cuz my writing is shit skksks alr, buckle up , that might be long one and i'm gonna use my dear friend's short recap of this damn gotta put it in some order alr- The story starts with that he and his Mac were married/mated (yes, that's ofc shadowpeach based-) After the Havoc his Mac didn't left him under the mountain but stayed there all the 500 years to protect him from the mountain gods that tried to punish Wukong more . When trippy goes to free him ,Wukong wants to redeem himself so heaven will leave them alone - he goes with the monk , Mac goes back to the FFM , to protect it and wait for Wukong. The Heavens ofc don't play clear so the circlet was in fact cursed - And when it was used to punish Wukong , uh well, Mac was around and tried to stop Trippitaka. It didn't turned out well and Wukong attacked Mac because of the circlet . Mac fled, and when Wukong is back to himself pretty much rage overcome him , he kills the pilgrims. With the circlet (it was all the time activated during that time) he went to Diyu- just to find Mac . HOWEVER he doesn't find him there cuz he's not dead, just injured. He finds the scroll instead, uses it to get the info how circlet works and how to take it off. He find out where Mac did fled too. When he finally finds him, he cries his eyes out apologizing, they reconcile and go back to the FFM. Heaven want to punish Wukong again , obviously but before they can -Nuwa herself turns him into stone . To protect him from heaven's wrath. Aaaand weakened Mac is left alone again , protecting him. Waiting for him to awaken. And then Lady Bone Demon appears! because this monkey would do a fine power source in that stone state. Mac trying to defend him is being ereased from the world by LBD . Wukong after reawakening tries to find his husband unsuccessfully He goes to heavens, diyu , searching everywhere he could , because he would not know that Mac is truly gone, beyond rescue . His anger reaches much higher, Now all the higher principals against him, they would still try to bring him down cuz Wukong would go mad with pain and grief This time they wouldn't succeed , Wuk would bring them all down , gaining the power , and creating perfect opportunity to world to just fall apart. He might've eaten some gods n pilgrims along the way so he is even more powerful than ur usual wukong so- rip Half canon thing (Myth if you must-) is that he beheaded himself a few times in the meantime, each head creating a new body and going search for their Mihou in different universes (sheer excuse for RP in different universes-)

SOME ADDITIONAL STUFF ABOUT THE MYTH!

[dippers-guide-to-the-strange]

Right, right… who’s Bill? He’s that guy in mom’s diaries right? Yellow shape? Is he, like, currently dead? Why would I raise the dead haha

Hey man, stumbled upon you at random. You uh… I won’t end up like you, right? No offense…

-@dippers-guide-to-the-strange

Unless you resurrect Bill and he murders your Mabel, then no.