#aaa i really hope im wrong like i dont want to be right i want them to live

[satellitesunset]

everyday I'm faced with the fact that yuji might be the one who will die and I don't like that. i truly dont.

[enapills]

hiiiii😁 idk of yours request is open but i wanted to ask for a mmj! reader x akito😞 hope youre okay with thisss, bye kisses and hugs 🫶😊

-⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀MORE , MORE ⠀⠀⠀. . . ⠀⠀⠀more more JUMP !

authors babbles . . ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀i freaking LOVE THIS ! !

MORE! MORE! - prod. honakito

posted as : request

chars : s. akito

type : x g/n ! reader

scenario : akito with an idol (specifically more more jump) reader ( headcanons )

taglist : @finanah ( ask to be added )

affiliated with : @virtualbookstore

notes : OH MH GOD i am SO SORRY for dipping this whole month and not doing this request sooner you probably forgot about it hhh,,,… no joke i was procrastinating this whole month since i am signed up for the math olympics ( i got a 20/28 at the local phase and now im in for the city phase) then i also have national phase if i qualify so requests are gonna take much longer… but still THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR REQUESTHING THIS AAA!! AND AGAIN IM SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG

notes 2 : so im actually working on a canon character only series. the only thing ill reveal about it is that it is a crossover with one of my current hyperfixations (they go brrr brrr brbrbr) so mist of my attention will be focused on it (requests will take longer in this case) and other shit BUT!!! ill alao try to finish the masterlists befpre my blog gets bigger so it is easier for me to arrange shit YKNOW ,,, and also the last time i posted here i barely got any REACH. like it was embarrassing omfg i dont want that to happen again so this is probably why i was hesitant on posting again but were cool gang ,, and i aslo have to revamp most of my posts kms

date : 26 / 02 / 24 - 10 / 03 / 24

well , he doesnt really care.

wait , what?

dont get him wrong , tho! when he first found out you were also interested in the music field , he was ecstatic in his own way. so , he asked some questions.

to realize youre the fifth member of ‘ MORE MORE JUMP! ‘ tho? that was a shocker! he never really put the puzzle pieces together.

not because he isnt capable of doing so , he just doesnt really.. care, about idol groups. it was never akitos type of music genre.

sure , he saw a few posters here and there , but never observed them as a whole. the only one he recognized on those was airi , because of enas childhood friendship with her.

and when you first came to kamiyama , he never really eavesdropped on any conversations about you. wasnt that normal? for everyone to talk about the new student! why was he the only one that didnt know you were a known idol?

isnt that a good thing , tho?

because akito didnt know of your passion , you saw right through him that this is actually how he feels. figured out that he saw you as an average human being , and not someone you only see on the outside , on a screen.

you were more glad for his oblivion , rather than mad.

but back on topic.

for a little while , he didnt know. but after? he seemed more cautious for you.

he knows the things you have to go through in the idol industry — he isnt stupid.

so for your sake , hes more supportive.

youll never notice it , but he will watch each and every livestream your group will hold after finding out. ofcourse , on a whole different account , while hes alone — he does not need teasing from neither you , mizuki , ena or an. 

and the same goes for your social media posts , he always tries to be the first one to like.

also pay close attention to his playlist — suddenly , a few of ‘ MORE MORE JUMP! ‘ s songs are there! but not the whole discography , hes still getting accommodated with the genre. 

so after a while — he gets comfortable.

hell always show up to the shows you will host. at first , he will seat in the back , so you dont notice him. but with a little bit of time , you will always spot him easily in the front rows , but he has too much pride to admit it. half of it , he will say ena dragged him with her. but what about the times he shows up alone? when theres no big sister , or no extra ticket from kohane?

if you figure it out tho , hed gladly accept any ticket you give him. doesnt matter if general or backstage access — your performances are moments that he holds close to him , outside of RAD WEEKEND.

and even if it seems like he doesnt care — he will always cheer on you from the sidelines.

begging the x reader gods to show this under the tag this time

div. arent mine ; please do not use my work for own uses , includes : reposting and claiming as their own , heavily inspiring off a long term fanfiction , etc , etc .

[loveyhoons]

omg i hope you dont take this the wrong way, but are you a new writer? at least on this blog, it seems! I WAS SCROLLING THRU THE TBZ TAG AND FOUND UR HYUNJAE FIC AND OH MY HODOOODODOODD I NEED MOTE JAE CONTENT ive only read a bit and i normally read on my reading blog (which is dead and i shall revive) but i can alr tell youre so talented and my big mirae ass is so happy to have new content like AAAA i hope its okay that im reaching out but i get so giddy at seeing new people and wanted to properly welcome you into the deobiblr (with the assumption that youre new im like embarrassing myself sm rn)

but im vae!! and i just really love appreciating writers and AAA IM SORRY IM GEEKING ANYPME WHO WRITES TWO OR MORE WORDS FOR JAEHYUN HAS MY HEARTTTTTT I FEEL LIKE IM HALLUCINATING 💀

OMG HI HELLO LETS BE MOOTS RN🤭🤭🤭 and yes hii i’m new to writing on tumblr actually as a whole😭 i used to write on wattpad way back and am just getting back into writing now🥹

but i am so so happy you enjoyed reading my fic that means a lot 🫶🏼 i have a juyeon one in mind so i hope i can get that one published soon

thank you so so much i appreciate it hehe you got me blushing so bad right now i love deobis i need more deobi oomfs PLS

[notarabeiia]

Part two, this one is way longer cuz these episodes are just WOAHHH

Episode four: I really hate Jayce I DONT KNOW WHYY HES SO BLEH!! Caitlin is so pretty I love how smooth her hair looks, gotta be honest idk what her beef with her mum is I might have not been listening. Also is powder a badass now?? SHE IS. HER HAIR IS SO LONG. SHES SO PRETTY. OH MY GOD. SHE DESERVED A BILLIAN ARC IDK. SHE CRUSHED THAT DUDES SKULL. vi done gave her ptsd. Also I don’t trust viktor but his design is cute I like his face he’s kind of gay. Also why the fuck is one of the guys Australian, that feels wrong. Ooo Powder goes by Jinx now, love her for owning that title. She’s soo cute I can’t she moves so fluid. Also Mel!! I haven’t mentioned how pretty she is!!! Her design is incredible. She legit looks angelic, the gold against her hair and skin is so nice. Oh ok so jinx is legit insane now… can’t say in surprised. SO MUCH IS GOING ONNN. VI IS IN PRISON. OH MY GOD SHES SO HOT I WANNA LICK THE SWEAT OFF HER I WANT HER TO HIT ME…. Sorry idk what came over me 👀.

Episode five: sone Caitlin lore, love to see it. Shes cute!! Oh my oh my back to Vi… knees are shaking WHO SAID THAT I need her so bad scissor me timbers oh my GAWDDD. also what is this sexual tension… are they gonna fuck 🤔. God I want her to eat me out WHO SAID THAT ugh I wanna tug on that bright pink hair WHO SAID THAT. IM SORRY I CANT STOP IM TWEAKING OUT. oh funeral time… buzz kill much. Who is this red head girl, she looks like baby powder but with orange hair. What is this Australian doing here it’s pissing me off he doesn’t belong here it’s out of place. Jayce is still annoying me btw he’s got baaaad juju. I hope viktor it ok :( I like him. Jinx is such a little freak I love her and her ptsd I hope she gets to be ok one day. VI IS BACK ON SCREEN OH IM WET AAA WHO SAID THAT I also why is Caitlin’s police uniform a dress?? That’s so impractical, I mean I like her legs and all butttttt pants?? OMG VI IS LITERALLY GWEN STACY. WHY IS SHE SPIDER-MAN WHAT WAS THAT JUMP. I like her spikey hair she looks like a bird. Woah viktor said “Arcane” !!that’s the name of the show!! I want Vi to eat me like she’s eating those fish. uh what. Why is bro playing violin. Jinx looks low-key malnourished has anyone checked if she’s eating, she’s a string bean. But I do like how they made her have more realistic teen body, she’s so lanky. “You’re hot cupcake” OHHH IM CUMMING OH MY GOD IM SORRY IM SORRY IM AAAAAAAA SHES SOOOOOO HER AND CAITLIN NEED TO SCISSOR. NOWWWW. Also I swear I’m right abt viktor being gay. The scene cuts between his work and Jayce being a freak with the hottie is telling me things. Whys this fight scene between vi and… that chick turning me on. I need to be sedated. Oh man she got stabbed. YO Caitlin coming in clutchhhh

Watching arcane for the first time; marking my reactions as I go.

(Spoilers obviously)

Episode one: this is so cool, the art style is incredible, Vi is super cool and the one with blue hair is so cute.

Episode two: I don’t like Jayce, don’t know why. This is getting intense, powder is lowkey relatable. I don’t like Mylo, but I like the other boy (dk his name). Vander is cool too, and ekko!! I love ekkos design he’s so cute. So from what I’ve gathered Vi is gonna give herself up for the group.

Episode three: oh my god holy shit this is so fucking intense holy shit. I should have known it was gonna go wrong. OH THANK GOD TBEIR MAKING POWDER STAY HOME. OH MY GOD I JNEW IT WAS A TRAPP! NO POWDER. GO. HOME. PLEASE. HOLY FUCK OH MY GOD. EVERYTHING IS GOING WRONG. DONT YELL AT HER PLEASE. SHES JUST A KID. IM FUCKING SOBBING. NO WAY THEY ALL DIED?? PLEASE DONT YELL AT HER SHES JUSY A BABY SJE DIDNT MEAN ITT NOO FUCK NOW SHES GONNA JOIN YHE EVIL SIDE OHH MY GODDD

So… I’m obsessed.

[pjsk-writin]

aaa hey!!! its me i requested haruk with a s/o who has pots i just want to tell you how much i appreciate u <33 idk if u did any research but it definitely looks like you did you wrote it very nicely!!!!! i wouldbt wanna change anything at all you represented it rlly well!! but could i request one more if its ok? (i understand u have a lot of requests so if not you can always decline this or if its out of your comfort zone)

but if you are ok with writing one more could you do maybe smth about what she’d do if the reader fainted? like for me personally (pots is different for a lot of people, some people need walking sticks im so sorry i forgot the name my brain isnt braining today some ppl dont like me thankfully when i do gymnastics i just have to pace myself and take a lot of breaks because if not my heartrate gets too fast and i could faint lol) sorry i got off topic ahah but badically for me sometimes my episodes r really bad and i faint back to back but i can tell when an episofd is about to happen bc i get dizzy and i start sweating/feeling rlly hot and shaky and my heartrate gets waaay too fast which theb i know to sit down n stuff but even then i faint anyways and sometimes its back to back liek once i wake up i could go iut again and it can happen a few times so could you maybe do hcs of what she’d do if the reader was having an episode like that and the reader maybe feels kind of scared bc honestly no matter how many times it happens its always scary but 🤗 tysm one last thing DONT OVERWORK URSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF WE KNOW U LOVE US BUT WE LOVE U TOO AND WANT THE BEST FOR U anyways god this paragraph is long

awww, well ty!! i did do research, id hate to write smth and get it completely wrong- im glad you think so!! and ofc it's ok!! but ahhh I see I see,, well I am making sure to take care of myself, i appreciate you all and I hope yall are also taking care of yourself!!!! idm the paragraph at all, but I do hope you like this!! <3

♧ FAINTING - Haruka Kiritani x Reader

As I mentioned, Haruka gets really good at noticing your symptoms, so when she picks up on them, she'll rush to your side

During the ones where you end up fainting, she'll help you to either sit or lay down, either way keeping you leaned against her

She'll rub your shoulders even while you're passed out, her touch as gentle as can be

Once you wake up and you don't faint again, she'll hold out her bag to you. She doesn't know what exactly you need after fainting, but she's pretty certain that her bag has everything that you would ask her for anyway

If you wake up and promptly faint again, she continues to support you and keep you safe until you eventually wake up again

She's aware that those episodes are scary, she'd honestly be surprised if you weren't scared, so afterwards, she's very gentle with you

"Hey, dear? You're okay, you're safe. I'll always be right here for you." She'll always make sure to say something like that to you after an episode, she just cares about you a ton <3

[krabmeat]

hhhhhellllooooo aaaagggaiiinnnnnn, thheeeeee ffffficcccc wwwwasssss vvverrryy nnnicceeee tooo rrrreeeeaaadddd!! ccccccoooouulllddddd youuuuu wwwwrrrrittteeeeee aaaaa puffffyyyyy x sbbbiiii rrreeeadddeerrrr whhheeeerrrreeeee ttthhheeeeyyyy wwwweeerrreee neeeegggleeeccccttteeeddd annndddd ssssaaaawwww pppufffy aaassss thhheeeirrrr ppppaaarrrrennnttttalll fffiggurrreee iiinnsstttteeeeadddd (cccaaannn thhiisss beeee iinnn tttheeee uuunnniiveerrrsseeee whhherrreee puffffy, ddrreeeammm, ssschlllaattt annnddd tuubbbooo aaarrreee knnoowwnn aassss tttthheeee hooornnns ffffammmilllyyyyy? aaallsssooo!! alllssoooo!!! cccaaann ttheeee rrreeeaddderrrr bbbeeee aaa cccrooowwwww hhhyyybbbriiiiddddddd?) tthhisss isss kkkinnddaaaa lllikeeee aaaa emmmeeerrrggeeencccyyy rrreeequeeessstt ccausseee myyyy ffffammilyyyy haasss beeen iggnorrringgg meee foooorrr aaaawhileeee nooowwww :(( - beeeee aaannnoooonnnn

𝚑𝚘𝚛𝚗𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚠𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜

𝙿𝚞𝚏𝚏𝚢 𝚡 𝚗𝚎𝚐𝚕𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚍!𝚋𝚒𝚛𝚍!𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛 (𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚘𝚗𝚒𝚌)

𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜: Puffy, (next bunch are only mentioned) Tommy, Wilbur, Technoblade, Philza, Tubbo, Schlatt, Dream

𝚖𝚊𝚒𝚗 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚜: they/them

𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚐𝚎𝚛 𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: neglect, mentions of death, mentions of smoking, repetitive words (right after the page break)

𝚊𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚛𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚎:

Bee!! im so happy you enjoyed the other request bud!! i hope this one lives up to your expectations!

im so sorry your family has been ignoring you though, dude :[[ they dont deserve you, and trust me! id be more than happy to be your new "horn family" because you deserve so much better

mmmm anyways,

ENJOY!!

---------------------------------

My name is signed in this book so many different times. It feels like every floorboard and every room in this building knows me like we’re old friends. The same format over and over in the small sign up booklet:

“Y/n L/n- issues to discuss, I’ve been feeling neglected and need help. Please.

Y/n L/n- more problems from the first meeting discussion we had.

Y/n L/n- I feel lonely. Too lonely.

Y/n L/n- they keep on forgetting me, I don’t know what to do.

Y/n L/n- more has happened. Are they forgetting me or ignoring me? Help.

Y/n L/n- they’re drifting away, I don’t know what to do.

Y/n L/n- I miss them.

Y/n L/n- I miss them.

Y/n L/n- I miss them.

Y/n L/n- I miss them.

Y/n L/n- I miss you. 

Y/n L/n- I miss you. 

Y/n L/n- I miss you. 

Y/n L/n- I miss you. 

Y/n L/n- I miss you.”

Puffy is the only one I can turn to at this point. My real family has just...dispersed. They’re all too busy, or y'know- dead. Tommy’s been going off on his own with his hotel. He usually only visits me if he needs to “borrow” money or materials, but lately he’s just been stealing it. Techno and Philza are caught up in their Syndicate work, they haven’t even bothered keeping contact with me. And Wilbur is just...well, dead! He was killed during the Manburg explosion. It’s not even that they just forget me. They ignore me, neglect me. I’ve tried on so many different occasions to just send them messages through our comms or strike up conversation with them if I see them on a rare occasion, but it’s always just the cold shoulder. And it’s getting even colder. It’s numbing. Family is supposed to be there for you through your strife, so where is mine?

Well, I’ll tell you. My family at the moment mainly consists of Puffy and occasionally Tubbo. The horn family of the SMP, technically Schlatt and Dream as well but seeing as Schlatt is dead and Dream is in prison I don’t really see them often. 

“Y/n? Hey there bud!” 

A familiar warm and friendly voice is heard from behind me. I turned around to see the lady I wanted to see right about now, Puffy. She wraps me in a quick side hug, squeezing my shoulder affectionately. 

“I was just here to check my sign up booklet! Did you wanna check in again?”

I nod my head at her signaling that I just wanna chat like usual. She gets the sign and walks me to the small tree we’ve recently been going to to talk. It’s the tree that Schlatt smoked his cigarettes at when he was president. Sure, he’s dead and did a lot of bad things but Puffy suggested this place since she finds it comforting since they’re related. 

We sit down on the worn grass around the tree as we usually do. 

“So, what’s up? Anything in particular you wanna talk about, bud?”

Puffy usually starts off these conversations, she’s looking at me with a soft smile. It’s very comforting. She’s the only one who’s been giving me this kind of affection. I haven’t felt it in so long… 

“Y/n…? Your wings are scrunching up, what’s wrong?”

I look back confused as to what she’s talking about. My wings are in fact scrunching together against my back, it seems like they’ve been scrunching up more and more the more I was in my head about my family.

“I just…my family..did I do something wrong?”

Puffy tilts her head, she usually does this when she wants me to elaborate.

“I’ve tried so many different times to just talk to them! Even when we were younger, they rarely paid any attention to me. I had hoped that letting Tommy take my things or giving Philza and Techno their space to work on their stuff or helping Wil-“

“Y/n! Y/n, please slow down. Now, collect your thoughts, alright? What is it that you're trying to say?”

I take a deep breath. The memories and thoughts clouding my mind. The days I’d spend in our family’s house touch starved and lonely. The days they’d only talk to me to feed me or to ask me for something. The days I’d go to sleep in my twin-sized bed and feel the black and gold-tipped wings on my back rubbing against my arms, reminding me who I was and will always be bound to. A father who doesn’t care, and siblings full of neglect.

“Is it really a big request to just want some attention from them? I don’t know what I did, and Puffy, it destroys me to think I did something to hurt them. I just want them to like me! What did I do?!”

I’m sent over the edge at this point. Tears are streaming down my face and my sobs get more and more aggressive the more I try to repress it.

“AND I HAVE THESE WINGS ON MY BACK TO REMIND ME OF THE PEOPLE WHO DON'T CARE!”

Puffy takes one of my hands in hers and gives me a small handkerchief from her pocket with her free hand.

“Y/n...it kills me to hear that you truly feel this way. But please, please tell me- why do you care so much about people who don’t care at all?”

I sit and stare at the velvet red piece of fabric in my hand. Why do I care so much?

“W-well..because they’re my family! And I should still care for them!”

She looks at me and wraps her arms around me in a tight hug. It takes me by surprise and I’m frozen in place.

“Bad people are bad people. It doesn’t matter who they are or what their relations with you are, they hurt you. It doesn’t matter if they’re your blood family, if they aren’t willing to give you the love that you need then they aren’t worth it, Y/n.”

I’ve been caught off guard by what Puffy had said. My mind analyzes and sifts through the memory of her words. It leaves me distraught to realize she makes sense. I’m desperate to grab onto something to say, but I can’t think of anything. So, I say basically the last thing I can. 

“I wanna be part of your family, Puffy. I want horns, not these wings.”

Puffy breaks from the hug to look at me straight in the eyes. She still has that warm, welcoming smile on her face. The only form of comfort I have around here now. And I’m thankful for it.

“You don’t need horns to be part of my family, Y/n. I’ll accept you with open arms.”

[heyitsyn]

Keeping Up With Seijoh Ep. 6

a/n: DKFJSLDKFSJ OMG YOU GUYS IVE LTR BEEN LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS FOR SO LONG AACCKKK!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

also, omg im screeching bc BAHAHAHA THERE IS GOING TO BE A SLIGHT PLOT TWIST YOU GUYS!!!!!

for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!

anon:

- Ever since yn got lost during a trip to another school, the team made the rule that she has to hold one of their hands. Its probably so small compared against the boys. She got lost cause babie saw a cat

SKDLFJLSDKFJ EWWWWWWWW IM SCREECHING IN DISGUST RIGHT NOW LIKE THATS SO DIS COS TANG OIKAWA TOORU LIKE LEAVE MY GUY ALONE!!!!!!! #LETMAKKILIVE

lmao yep this is really happening

okay so anyways

you guys know how seijoh is like known around the prefecture right?

and we all know that nekomata and old ukai are like besties so they were talking over the phone right

and nekomata was complaining that his players were already fed up with playing against the same people and they wanted to be challenged and wanted new exposure to other players and all that jazz

old ukai was cackling at the other side bc haha youre actually begging me to find you new teams now?

but anyways

theyre like besties forever so ofc old ukai would help

and by help, he turned to poor zaddy keishin and told him to look for teams that could be sent up to tokyo and play against nekoma

‘what?! im already busy and i dont have time to scout-’

‘YOU WATCH YOUR TONGUE BOY! I CREATED YOUR FATHER AND WITHOUT HIM, YOU WOULDNT BE HERE TODAY!’

‘BOLD OF YOU TO ASSUME I WANTED TO BE ALIVE IN THE FIRST PLACE!’

family goals 😍😍😍

but keishin still listened to his grandfather and recommended seijoh as being the one to go as they are one of the hardest to beat opponents in the preferecture

but its more like he wants to hear about nekoma being destroyed by oikawa’s service aces and grovel at their feet since naoi always made fun of them saying country boys arent as good as city boys

LIKE PLEASE

anyways!!!!!!

nekomata got word of it and immediately phoned aoba johsai and talked to the coach 

‘yes, i heard from an old friend of mine that you are quite strong’

nekomata praised, wanting and desperate to have them come up

‘and do you think your team is good enough to beat us?’

LMAO YESSSS GRANDPA IRIHATA!!! DRAG THEM KITTIES!!!!

WAIT NO THAT SOUNDS WRONG

but they settled on their disagreements and decided yep they were going to go up there and have a practice match

however

irihata and nekomata wanted their boys to be kept in the dark about who this team is as knowing them, they have sources to find them tapes of old plays

they wanted it to be a fair match

even the managers were being kept from it as they could easily be influenced by the players for that information

irihata walked into the gym and announced a team meeting to which they stopped

you sat down next to kyotani, who pulled you beside him and wrapped a protective arm around your waist

‘we have a practice match against a prominent team up in tokyo in 3 days. make sure you have your plays right and pat down as they are known to be quite an opponent’

the boys shouted a determined cheer and they all hussled back to practice

you were running around, tending to everyone with towels or medical tape

once you finally sat back down on the bench, you noticed your phone screen light up, indicating someone sent you a message

it was natsu

you swiped open and smiled softly at his picture

it a selfie of him in front of his school as you told him to send you a picture that he arrived safely

‘got here in one piece since im not ready to meet daddy satan yet’

i hate him you guys

after receiving news of his mother gaining custody of him, he cheered and was able to go back to tokyo without his father in the picture

lets just say,,, hes not nice

anyways

you were sad to let him go but you understood he missed his friends and his almost-boyfriend so you were able to say goodbye easily at the station

‘gross but im pretty sure katsuki would blow satan to smithereens’

‘hehe ;) he would’

‘N A S T Y’

you cringed but giggled and the team noticed so they tried hard to gain your attention back on them

‘aaa!!!!! y/n-chan!!! my leg!!!!’

‘i think i chopped off my finger!!!!’

‘my head snapped off my body!!!!!’

you rolled your eyes and placed your phone down before walking over to mattsun to help him snap his head back on his neck

finally, it was the day of the match

you were arranged to stay the night at tokyo to have a few practice matches with this unknown team

the team was arranged to meet at the train station at 9:45 since the train leaves at 10 

you arrived the earliest to keep track of everyone and just because you were actually kinda excited

theres this weird feeling in your stomach that isn’t exactly bad but its,,, giddy

you sat on the bench, waiting for the team 

they all started arriving one by one and you were doing a headcount for everyone but you were missing one

you checked your phone and you noticed he was getting late

it was already 9:54

you hate it when people are late to meeting time so you were slightly irritated

you dialed up your captain’s number and you stood up, pacing around

‘hello~~~~ y/n-cha-’

‘oikawa-san! do you know what time it is?! you were arranged to come here at specifically 9:45 but its 14 minutes passed that so where the hell are you? you better have a good excuse you piece of-’

‘aww y/n-chan oikawa-san is sorry’

someone whispered in your ear from behind and you flinched, surprised at the sudden person

oikawa wrapped an arm around your waist while his other hung up the call and you turned around, arms crossed while pouting at him

‘sorrysorrysorry!’

he apologized and you rolled your eyes

‘i swear, oikawa-san. if i find out it was because of your hair again-’

‘oi shittykawa! your sister just called me and you left the curling iron on, you stupid bastard!’

iwaizumi’s shout made oikawa sweat and pale 

your eyes glinted dangerously 

‘this is the last straw, oikawa-san’

you growled and he shot down to his knees and was about to start praying to you when the coach decided he had enough entertainment for the day and called everyone to gather around

‘heres your tickets. this train will get us there around lunch time so dont worry about getting hungry’

the shinkansen train had 2-person seating so everyone fought secretly amongst each other to sit next to you

literally, their private group chat was blowing up until early this morning at the shouts and yells of everyone caps locking their arguments as to why they deserve to sit next to you

the only one who didnt was mattsukawa issei

bc quite frankly, he didnt care who he sat next to and although it sounds nice to be next to you, he isnt exactly the comfiest to sleep on due to the obvious size difference

lmao like your head probably wouldnt reach his shoulders bruh

now youre not oblivious

or blind

so you noticed the glares of everyone as you all stood for the train to come

and you also noticed mattsun just standing there, bored, so you sneaked over to him, wrapping your arms around him

‘arent you excited, mattsun-san?’

he gasped quietly at your sudden appearance but he smirked

‘its nothing special. just another team that we’re going to beat’

you giggled at his confidence and you walked in front of him so you could properly be held by him

it was practically second nature now by the way he just opened his arms and you crashed into them, his own wrapping around your shoulders to hold you tight

‘i love your confidence so much mattsun-san’

he flushed red and furrowed his eyebrows, head turning to the side to hide the obvious effect you had on him

‘whats the point of playing when you cant be confident’

‘aaaa why are you looking away mattsun-san!!!’

lmao when the team saw you sitting next to mattsun, they all felt so betrayed like bruh

ltr kyo and iwa were about to go feral

oikawa was like ready to screech his ass off but one look from you made him shut up

‘i sincerely, really, truly hope youre just complaining about the seat hurting your flat ass, oikawa-san’

KDFJLSDKFJSDL Y/N NO STOP IT

it was kinda funny actually bc everyone was all pouting and sulky while you just have mattsun who’s smirking like ‘beat that’

SDKFJLSDKF I LOVE MATTSUN’S SMIRK LIKE PLEASE OMG

ofc he let you sit at the window bc you love window seats

like iwa, he also pulls up the arm barrier thingy and you shuffle closer to him and mattsun practically combusts

the ride isnt expected to be very long but you still found yourself sleeping during it

mattsun has his arm around your shoulder while your head is leaning against his peck man boobie 

omg its so cute like he actually slides lower on the seat to help you reach his shoulder and hes slouching and back is hurting just for you

;’)

he was awake the whole time bc he couldnt sleep with his heart beating so hard it might rip out of his chest

ew thats kinda gorey

your hand was gripping his own and to pass time, he found himself fiddling with your fingers 

an unknown smile appeared on his face at the obvious size difference between yours and his

a finger traced different and foreign shapes just to feel the softness of your hand and he combusts again when you unconsciously squeeze his hand

mattsun couldnt help but bring your linked hands up and kiss the back of yours

it was soft, gentle, and his lips lingered there for more than a second

then a sudden feeling of fatigue washed over him and he leaned his cheek against the top of your head 

the last thing he remembers is the smell of your f/s (favorite smell) shampoo

then you guys arrived in tokyo

irihata had to personally wake you all up because even naoi fell asleep and everyone fell asleep

irihata gently shook mattsun awake and when the boy opened his eyes, the older man nodded over to your form

‘gently wake her up’

as if mattsun didnt already know

thats why he softly ran the pad of his thumb on your cheek that was exposed to the air

‘y/n~~’

he coos and your nose twitches, in between the border of dreams and reality

‘darling, wake up, baby bear’

FSDKLFJSDLKSDJKFJDSKLFJSDLFKSJDLF YOU GUYS I CANNNNTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

also im listening to kataomoi by aimer  so that kinda influences the ‘darling

his deep voice that surprisingly reaches a level of quietness made your eyes flutter

your whole face scrunched at suddenly being woken up but the sight of mattsun’s genuine smile made you mirror it and cuddle closer for an extra dose of warmth

‘hmm, is my baby tired?’

he teasingly whispers and you nodded, snuggling even further and he gently cups your face

his hold had made your cheeks squeeze slightly together and your pout increased the cute factor 

‘nwoooo dont skweeze demmm’

you slurred and he chuckled

‘hai hai’

‘kwiss it better’

you demanded and he full on laughed before moving his hands to your jaws so he could plant many kisses on your cheeks

the repeated kisses tickled so you giggled and squirmed

‘aaaaaa mattsun-san it tickles!!!’

your playful protests forced him to stop and allow you to actually sit up

as usual, your hair was a bird’s nest and mattsun attempted to settle it out

‘hah, y/n-chan your hair is like another being itself’

he choked out and you pouted at him

‘so mean! mattsun-san is so mean! baba-san! rescue me!!’

yahaba was known in the team to be the one who fixed your hair and you trusted him the most with it

hearing his name being called, the pretty boy dashed towards you and mattsun’s seats

‘is senpai giving you trouble again? come, honey, come to baba-san’

mattsun gave him a look for the younger’s passive agressive tone

oikawa immediately dashed over right next to yahaba

‘oh? y/n-chan! oikawa-san is here!!’

iwa and kyo growled

‘SHUT UP SHITTYKAWA!’

meanwhile irihata and naoi were just done

they just wanted to get off the train like is that such a big favor?

finally!!!!

seijoh was able to actually make it to the city and ngl, despite living in sendai, you were actually overwhelmed by the bustling city of tokyo

there were people all over the place and many cars and you were being pushed around

it didnt help that it was ltr lunch hour and a flurry of business people just flooded out of their buildings

you unconsciously gripped your bag and focused on just not tripping over people so your eyes were trained on your feet 

then in the corner of your eye, you saw a tiny animal that was in danger of being stepped on so you ofc had to go chase after it

you shouted at some people to watch out and to not step on it

but then it disappeared

the moment you looked up, everyone was gone

you panicked and your head was turning from side to side

‘MATTSUN-SAN?! IWA-SAN?! KYO-SAN?!’

you shouted but it seems your voice wasnt loud enough

GIRL YOU GOTTA MANIFEST THAT BULLHORN VOICE

worry and dread bubbled inside of you but you stopped, just trying to calm down and think

then you saw the flash of white again so you hurriedly ran after it, not knowing that you were straying away from the city and towards the suburbs

you noticed you were now lost at the less amount of feet walking and this wasnt the city and you were now away from the team

taking yoru eyes off of the cat, you looked around to confirm your fear and that gave the cat an opportunity to disappear again

yoo crookshanks

huffing a curse, you pulled your phone out of your bag and dialed each 

your phone wasnt reaching the boys and no one was picking up

what the heck

you ended up at some quieter and less crowded spot 

like a neighborhood

you contemplated calling natsu as he lived in tokyo but tokyo was a big city and you were at some neighborhood so its highly unlikely he would know where you are

so you just walked around, looking for a place to sit and think like a park

then you heard a distressed meow

you were just walking and hearing that loud cry of help made you stop and immediately follow the sound

‘kitty? kitty?’

you called out even though you knew fully well they didnt understand you

but the cat cried even louder and you heard another cat

it was less higher pitched and honestly, you just felt like there was another cat

as you looked around, you saw the same cat you followed after and it bobbed its head at you as if asking you to follow him

‘you want me to go with you?’

the cat blinked then turned around and started walking

‘okay then’

you took the time to inspect the actual color of the cat

it was dominantly white furred but it had multiple colored spots, mainly yellow and brown

you eventually ended up at a large tree with a cat shivering on the biggest branch

it was black and had some fur sticking out at the top of its head and it looked young so its probably a kitten

you tutted and reached out your hand but it recoiled, hissing at you

BOI SHE TRYING TO HELP YOU WHAT

‘hey, i want to help you’

you softly said and maybe youre just doctor dolittle? 

bc it stopped hissing and started whining instead

‘kenma-san! i swear i saw it just now-’

a sudden foreign voice made the black haired cat hiss again and this time, even you were counted as a threat

the appearance by the corner of two boys made you glare at them

one was freakishly tall with grey hair and scary green eyes while the other was shorter and had bleached hair that grew out

they both wore running shorts and black shirts and they looked like they were on a run or something

then you had a thought

this guy was tall

he could help

‘hey! you!’

you waved and the boys stopped, eyes wide

they pointed to themselves and you nodded

‘yes, silly! especially the tall one!’

the other had a flash of a glare that disappeared almost immediately but the ‘tall one’ happily skipped over

‘oho, hello chibi-chan’

KDFJSLDFKSDJLFDKSJ YES IM CONDENSCENDING

you puffed your cheeks out in anger at the nickname but this was not the time

‘that kitty up there is stuck. and i cant help it because its scared. and its all the way up there’

you pointed and he nodded

‘i followed that cat here too but i needed someone else. thats why i brought kenma-san’

your eyes shifted to ‘kenma-san’ who was focused on the other cat who also stared back at his spot by the tree

hmmm, they look kinda similar

‘well! we need to help it,,,,,, grandpa-san!’

taken aback by the nickname, the tall guy gasped while the blonde boy choked out a sudden laugh and you giggled

‘GRANDPA?!’

‘yea. you know cus you have gray hair’

you reasoned and he was about to retort when he stopped himself

‘no. we have more important matters in hand. kenma-san, come stand on my shoulders. chibi, use my jacket to catch it if it falls’

you scrambled to do your task but you heard kenma-san mumble

‘you cant tell me what to do’

‘oh hey! whats your name?’

you asked and the tall guy waved

‘im lev. haiba lev. first year’

‘kozume,,, kenma. im a second year’

‘oh! then nice to meet you! im l/n y/n!’

introductions had to be cut short as you all assembled

kenma wobbled while lev cringed at the obvious pain but they gritted their teeth and kenma lunged to grab the cat 

but the cat jumped away, falling to the ground where it was caught safely by you

thankfully the jacket saved you from scratching but after a few soft whispers of reassurance, the kitty calmed down and it resulted in just shaking

‘its okay. we’re okay. i got you’

you were completely oblivious to the fact that kenma and lev were on the ground, bleeding after falling, or the shout at the distance

‘kenma! lev!’

‘Y/N-CHAN!’

you three turned to see two groups of boys coming from two directions

on the right had a guy with black hair similar looking to the cat on your arms 

while the left had your familiar looking captain

‘oikawa-san!’

you shouted and he ran up, eyes wide with worry

‘where were you?! why did you run off?! you shouldn’t-’

he rambled but your eyes stopped at the appearance of your familiar pink-haired cousin

‘natsu?!’

you shrieked and he had an equally surprised expression

‘y/n?!’

he shouted 

‘what-!’

he started but you beat him to it

‘why are you here?!’

you pointed to the people behind him

‘im,,, a manager. im a manager for my volleyball team’

‘volleyball,,,’

you trailed off

‘VOLLEYBALL?! NEKOMA?!’

you knew of your cousin’s school but you didnt think you guys would meet here

‘shes your cousin?’

someone piped up from the back and natsu nodded, still looking at you

‘oya? the apple doesnt fall far from the tree, then. hello gorgeous, the names kuroo tetsurou’

KSLDFJDSK I HATE THIS LIKE PLEASE HES JUST A NERD YET I WRITE HIM LIKE THIS I HATE MYSELF

‘HAH?! YOU BACK OFF!’

kyotani started but you caught him in time, holding him in your arms

‘nooo,, calm down, kyo-san’

natsu’s nose crinkled and his mouth curled

‘ugh, nice to see you too, brat’

‘BRAT?! YOU BASTARD!’

‘IM A THIRD YEAR, YOU BASTARD!’

kyotani was held back by oikawa and iwa while your cousin was with that kuroo guy and lev

you hurried back to the rest of the team and they each glared at you but they had an obvious expression of relief

‘do that again y/n-’

‘i know, makki-san. youll use a leash backpack’

lets just say its not,,, the first time youve been lost

‘new team rule. youre holding someone’s hand at all times. no matter what, always hold us’

yahaba scolded and watari nodded

meanwhile, mattsun grabbed your hand and gripped it tight

‘youre never leaving my sight again’

his tone was different from his usual playful and teasing voice 

you knew he was very worried and that made you feel really guilty

‘im sorry’

you whispered and he pulled you to him, hugging you tightly

‘its okay. youre here right now and thats all that matters’

you nodded and you turned your head, leaning on his chest to watch oikawa yelling and shouting at this kuroo guy while your cousin and kyo were arguing and you chuckled

this was,,, chaos

‘dear god, you shouldve let me be lost for a few more hours’

you mumbled, smiling lightly when mattsun’s chest vibrated as he laughed

‘take me with you next time’

‘i will’

you hummed

‘Y/N-CHAN! YOU ARE NOT GOING NEAR THIS-THIS MONGREL!’

oikawa screeched, stomping his way over to you

you smirked

‘oi kuroo-san! lets hang out after the match!’

oikawa screamed

a/n: now that my nekoma manager is out, i can finally have a manager x manager interaction and uwuwuwuwu just wait until i finish the others and ill do that req anon sent in ;) if you sent it in, you know what im talking about ;)

[wychive]

𝙪𝙣𝙨𝙥𝙤𝙠𝙚𝙣 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙𝙨

summary // you found your pile of ‘letters’ to hyunjin that contain thoughts that have never been said and decided to write to him one last time.

pairing(s) // hyunjin x gn!reader, hyunjin x oc, slight minho x reader

genre(s) // angst, letter fic 

warning(s) // mentions of food, themes of being forgotten, vulgar wording, humiliation, overthinking

word count // 2.0k

author's note // happy birthday @noya-sannnn​ !! im sorry this was so late hhh you know how i am irl,, but i hope you enjoy this! i love you so much, jane <3 i apologize for the many grammar mistakes gn. i recommend listening to iu’s ending scene while reading this! btw y/n/n means your nickname.

[10/01/14, 3:55am]

dear jinnie,

hi there! it's y/n <3 i hope you're doing okay - i mean of course you are pfft anyways, just writing this short letter (more like paragraph)  sort of as a venting mechanism? for things i cant tell you about lol  im not so sure how you would call it, since you're so much better at words than i am. basically were like:

hyunjin: ow a brain freeze!

me: haha brain go brrrr

anyways haha yea <3 it's 4am so like,, ill see you at school!

signed,

your loser,

y/n/n

[15/02/14, 12:34am]

yo heartthrob!

im back with this kinda stuff haha it's been a whole? week? since ive written one of these so like yes..hi! i just wanted to say thanks, for today. you really know how to cheer me up huh? you really outdid yourself by setting up that little picnic for us. congrats on making the strawberry cake so perfectly <3 this day will always stay as a core memory in the back of my brain. you're too caring sometimes,,, istg you'll pay for this [maybe hugs?] >:) 

signed,

your partner in crime,

y/n/n

[30/02/15, 01:29am]

jinnie-senpai~~

LMAO you hate me calling you that, doesn't change a thing though. hehe,, nways i hope you enjoyed your birthday present :) i got you that really cool skateboard that you wanted. i worked my ass off for that in my mother's garden so like,, you gotta thank me for that a thousand times :D nah jk, its a sincere gift, from me to you. i rarely do this for ANYONE so consider yourself lucky to have a best friend like me -3- also, seungmin is like….kinda the cutest person ever. introduce me to him pls, thank!

signed,

<your bestest friend3,

y/n

(p.s. you're kinda cute too,,,, ig,,, still stinkee tho)

[13/04/15, 9:04pm]

hey 'baby' (HAHAHA ihy for this)

i hope your day was okay! i didn't see much of you today (which was sort of a bummer but wtv) so like…. uh yea. you told me you were doing okay over text, which kinda surprised me because like?? we always video call lol this is kinda the first time,, but its okay, i trust you! (i really hope youre doing alright tho, i'll beat anyone up if they make you sad >:( ) you also called me 'sweetheart' today which was like…. omg wtf haha????????? that was so weird to me for some reason… a good kind of weird :D we haven't done those kinds of nicknames in a while so…. happy to know that they're back in session <3 i talked to the new girl today, she's really cool! like she knows the bean song on tiktok so like its a total win heh, ill introduce you to her tomorrow! you'll love her a lot

signed,

your 'lover',

y/n/n

[08/06/16, 10:23pm]

hey howl (hehe go back to that movie night we had)

this spring break sucks so much,, esp because youre not here (you still couldve brought me along :'[ ) but wtv i hope youre enjoying yourself. ive been hanging out with yeonnie lately and i found out she likes conan grey too like pls i love her sm. can we adopt her?? please???? she told me you guys have been video calling too and that makes me so happy!! you two are getting along so well aaa my precious babies </3 

what if you developed a crush on her? haha…..jk unless?? (no jk dont shes all mine, stay away >:) ) anyways, i hope the three of us hang out soon. maybe go to that ice cream parlour where they serve the best cookies and cream?  

signed,

your daisy,

y/n/n

[19/07/15, 01:23am]

peepee poopoo hello

heyheyhey!! (heh, haikyuu thingz) i hope youre doing okay! i mean sure you are, with everything going so well. also i feel like you're not telling me something. maybe it's just me? is it? i hope it is because you tell me everything,, we've been talking less these days but its okay! i know how busy you are, especially with your dad always bugging you,,

also, i think yeonbin likes you :0,, she keeps talking about you whenever we hang out. don't get me wrong, its not bad that she likes you but...something doesn't feel right. i feel like i'm being the third wheeler here and like ugh idk. haha laughs yea i think its just me.. im sorry, i didnt mean to do you like this,, anyways, ill see you soon + her too ofc- yall are inseparable lmao

signed,

your moonlight,

y/n/n

[23/07/15, 01:56am]

greetings, kind sir

lol more like mean sir but like aight KSKSK,, anyways,, how have you been? we haven't really talked in a while,, our convos are always so short with it being one-sided :/ i wish you were online more. yeonnie is ignoring me,, do you know why? i think you do,,, but when i asked you just said you didnt know. did i do something wrong? pls tell me.. 

she blocked my contact the other day and she won't even smile at me when i pass her in the hallways. its,, sad and stressful especially because she was the only one that would genuinely talk to me. i hate to say this,, but i miss you. us, hanging out like the best trio we are, yknow? but i dont think you miss me the same way. sorry, im getting out of hand. i know im just overreacting. im just gonna sleep ig,, good night! sweet dreams,,

signed,

your pink lemonade,

y/n/n

[25/07/15, 03:25am]

hi there

i heard you and her got together?? congrats, jinnie! im so proud of you,, especially because you never had even considered getting a girlfriend a few months earlier lmaO you really woo the ladies huh? anyways,, i hope you've been well since we last talked,, how many days has it been?? i would say nearly a week or so but honestly it feels like a hundred years,, considering you and i used to talk every day. but you have her now to keep you company.

keep this a secret but can you possibly tell me why it hurts when i see her? or when i mention her or even think of her?? is it because she's connected to you? but.. you're my best friend, so why? is it because i miss you? is it because im alone now? is it because you left me with a simple 'i have to go now,, bye y/n/n.'? im not sure either. im being silly, i apologize. ill figure it out sooner or later. sweet dreams, jinnie

signed,

your asswipe,

y/n

[25/07/15, 04:30am]

jinnie

it's because i love you. 

signed,

your butterfly,

y/n

[??/08/??, 05:??am]

you

i miss your lame jokes. i miss your smile. i miss your laughs. i miss your funny faces. i miss the way your eyes twinkle. i miss th way you would make me happy just by doing the bare minimum. i miss the disaster you made when cooking breakfast. i miss the night when you snuck me out just to go to that pretty lantern event. i miss when you would call out my name everytime we met. i miss when we would share earbuds in train rides. dont you get it, hyunjin? i miss you.

[??/??/15, ??:??am]

asshole.

please tell me that isn't true, please. you're too kind to do these kinds of things, right? + i was your best friend,, then, why, why did you hurt me like this. i didnt do anything wrong.. you couldve just told me you didnt like me,,, why did she have to tell me? out of all people. 

youre so pathetic for this,, i thought you were brave, bold - but youre just a fucking coward. i loved you, i really did. and i realised too late… im sorry. she,, i shouldn't have talked to her in the first place, right? i bet you knew she humiliated me, in front of everyone. of course you did, you were the only one that knew. you told her. fuck, i hate you so much (yet why do i long for you on a night like this?). you know how much that'll affect me and yet, there you are, laughing about it with her.

signed,

fuck off,

you know who i am.

[31/08/15, 03:41am]

ah, jinnie

please tell me this is just a nightmare. please, please. stop just reading my texts, please answer them. jinnie. i miss you so much. i dont care bout her, please just let me be in your arms. i dont care if you love me back, please just talk to me at least. tell me what i did wrong,, jinnie,, please,,, clear these tear stains on my cheek with kisses.

signed,

your fuck-up,

y/n

[15/09/15, 04:59am]

jinnie

why do i keep crying because of you? its been a few weeks since everything has happened. please, nothing has changed. i still love you the same even with all the hatred i have pent up in this stupid brain of mine. i wish i could just walk back in time, to where it all began.

when i first met you in third grade and you pushed me while playing soccer or maybe when we took those ridiculous prom pictures, remember those? i hope you still have them,, because i do too. i hope the pictures of us on your wall still hang there,, it'll remind you of the happy times. hm,, maybe you don't need them. 

you already have millions of pictures with you and her,, i bet you printed some and replaced those with ours right? sly dog. 

signed,

friend,

y/n/n

[04/02/16, 12:57am]

hey

i went to the park today and saw both of you being happy. it's nice to see your smile again. im sorry i didnt go up to you,, i just thought it would be awkward. when i heard that adorable laugh of yours, it made me realise that i lost something special. but it's okay isnt it? as your happiness matters more than mine. 

signed,

y/n

[06/01/20, 08:00pm]

dear hyunjin,

im doing fine here. how about you? gosh,, how long has it been? years? since we last talked to each other. i havent heard from you since. i would just like to say i still think of you sometimes, when watering the plants or dancing while making pancakes. sometimes i think you're here with me too, just being the pals we were. 

sometimes i'd see you out, just reading a book in the park or buying pasta sauce at the grocery store. it's nice to see you having a stable life. im not sure if you're still with her or not, but its good to know that you still have that large friend group. also! you're never gonna guess who im dating--

it's minho! do you remember him? the one that i used to hate,, uh yeah. he asked me out the other day- you may wonder how tf,,, i too do not know how tf but he gives the best hugs ever. he gave me the love i wanted from you. he stitched my heart back together after it broke,, i love him so much, jinnie..

it's snowing,, do you remember when we would skate on the frozen lake in front of your house? are your parents well? i wonder if your mother still has those earrings i bought for her birthday. i never told you this but your laugh and hers sound so similar. 

i would just like to say thank you, for everything. you were a big part of my life, up until now. when we see each other after this, we would just be strangers. maybe flash a little smile or give a little wave whenever we greet each other but nothing more. some memories of us would flow in every now and then but it'll just be a short teaser. well, i'll be going now. smile for me, okay?

signed,

the one that loved you the most,

y/n.

taglist // @/noya-sannnn, @crvgio​ , @neo-shitty​

reply to be in my gen taglist!

[probablydinosaurs]

finished dr1 last night. quick character thoughts before I shift brain to dr2 makoto: best boy. best “blank slate” protag ive seen and i hope the next few protags are just as good. sayaka: eh. cute and i like her backstory but. eh *shrug* leon: i feel bad for him but....eh x2. plus characters like that remind me of my nephews dad soooo eeehh. i like sayaka more. kyoko: first to really grow on me. backstory neat and detective vibes are amazing.  hina: best girl #3. god i love her. she's so cute!! and aaa.  sakura: best girl #2. god fuck aaaa the tears. she has never done anything wrong ever and people who judge her can fuck off. her and hina are girlfriends. no questions. god i love them so much my heart.  chihiro + alter ego: best girls #1. trans rights. ill be honest, i was scared af about chihiro bc, as a fem trans boy, my brain always panics that i might relate to trans girl coded characters as my gender instead but. my brain is STUPID. god all that panicking was pointless. once i actually got to her arc. 100% trans girl. 100% adorable. 100% deserved better. also I owe alter ego my life. ill die for her.  toko: aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh she grew on me a LOT. bc her beginning behavior. well actually. her whole thing felt like me in middle school. like no joke.  and that really rubbed me the wrong way personally BUT she's still a fun af character and i adore her so much. had some of the best lines.  hifumi: if toko was that type at its best. hifumi is it at its worst. god. we love a fat character whose creepy yaaaaay /s. i do love his English va voicelines tho. the dorky voice deepening always cracked me up. but otherwise. eeehhhh. celeste: a solid 5/10. i dont really have any deeper feelings on her BUT still a great character and. id do what she did for that too lmao. id kill a another human being for aesthetics.    taka: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA that is it. best boy. didn't deserve such PAIN mondo: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA GOD AAAAAAA BOYFRIENDS! didn't cry as hard as case 4 BUT still AAA hiro: i thought he was going to kill hina ngl. i had this like. fake spoiler in my head that he just. does that??? but nope. also loveable stupid. 5/10. tbh i kinda forgot he was a character a lot. mainly bc i was spending all my free time with- byakuya: ha....*cries* I’m predicable lol. add this fucker!! to my chart off “ gay assholes i kin bc i relate to trauma that was only mild af subtext” GOD I HATE HIM SO MUCH HES THE TYPE OF CHARACTER ON THAT LIST I ACTIVELY WANT TO ROAST! “i don't need your help” then seconds later “tell them makoto” BITCH! BITCH! BITCH! twink ass looking asshole bitch i love him!! toko deserves better god i feel so bad. i hear she's in the despair girls game and i hope she gets a good girlfriend that will treat her right. he don't need you boo. go be great faaar away from him. plus he’s gay (and homophobic) and uses makoto as a “please give me attention or i’l die from shame” comfort pillow anyway. GO BE GREAT SOMEWHERE ELSE TOKO!! he doesn't deserve u (nor wants u.) and bc I like him. ik I'm DOOMED to like the other two WAAAY MORE problematic bitch boys in this game franchise.i see art of all three together and im like FUCK THEIR THEY ARE HU!?.......wish me luck ehh.  byakuya was easy mode and i failed.  junko: yep that's junko. junko is junko. no further questions your honor haha. (god I love her) anyway time to sell my soul to another cast of characters. good byyyeeee

[taonsil]

💤

[pestopascal]

While I will absolutely agree that CB2077 isn’t the ONLY game doing all this bullshit, or that other AAA studios don’t deserve the flack CDPR is getting, I have to say that this is absolutely the perfect storm and I think people are FINALLY seeing the problems in modern AAA gaming. CB2077 might be fun to play, may have a good story, but it’s almost impossible to see because of the glaring issues. Which, honestly, is a good thing. I hope games change after this.

under here

AAA studios have been like this and this sort of release has been completely normalised on all accounts by both the businesses themselves and fans because of the inherent reliance on modders (bethesda at the forefront of this), as well as the pushback every time companies actually go ‘uh we need a lil more time’ (although... they just shouldnt announce potential release dates, im even of the camp they shouldnt even start releasing the game until like 6 months out from their official date because they fuck it up every time. borderlands 3 being the only game i know of being in “secret” development and then announcing itself in march for a september release. game itself aside, thats how companies should do it). easily i can remember a lot of 2011 release games which have had the exact same issues as cp77′s release, and then every other game in between since. very rarely do you actually have a game that isn’t a fucked up mess of a pile of pixels. and it is always the customisable character ones that are honestly, genuinely, ugly looking at release. but you can definitely say its been happening looooooong before 2011, with unrealistic expectations, word limits, 11 month time frames, offloading sequels to smaller companies so they can suffer if it fails, etc etc. the entire system has been like this for so long... they dont know any real different nowadays.

i mean look. tlou2 released under crunch conditions this year, and was rewarded. it was ALL over the social media feeds, it was quite the controversy because, surprise surprise, the company promised they wouldnt do it uwu and then. bam ! crunch conditions. literally around that time too, bioware employees came out with a statement saying ‘man we wish dai FAILED so that back in 2014 we couldve proven crunch was a wrong practice’. they say this as well after having to produce da2 in 14 months, which just suffered from fans and journalism for reusing environments, because it was produced in 14 months, and honestly? no one pointed that out back then, bioware themselves pointed it out again this year, 6 years after release, that that game was produced in 14 months. rdr2′s release was hounded by stories of crunch, and they all disappeared into the night because... it was heralded as the best game of all time. that was 2018, 2 years ago.

i think too is that some people get kind of ... morally and ethically concerned. which is understandable. can you consume something when you know it was made under conditions like crunch? and i think one of the most confronting things about it is that 9/10, not only has your favourite company engaged in crunch conditions, they almost actively choose to continue with them. and then that’s a whole other bag of issues blown up over there when it comes to what is able to be consumed what isn’t etc etc

i think also like a mix of marketing, promises and then the expectations of what the game will be like have really had cdpr earn the ire of fans which is just like... you don’t believe what these companies are saying. you never should, esp when it’s their ceo’s saying it who don’t work on the actual floor. bioware itself is the main culprit of doing this to the point they finally came around with all the da4 concept art and teasing to be like ‘ummm but actually dont get invested?’. remember all that qunari lady fanart that bioware management was like ... please dont get attached? yeah. yeah. like at what point as well is there going to be heavy level of apprehension to approach this? and i can’t really talk either, i cracked open the door for mass effect again. i know exactly what kind of shit bioware will pull, i know they are teasing it already on social media, but mass effect is my ride or die series. that’s why people keep opening the door on letting these companies get away with it. and you can’t fault fans entirely either because this is down to a science of how to get money. i mean, fuck, mass effect andromeda’s entire advertising campaign HINGED on the n7 logo. for the nostalgia value. and i see text posts in the same vein of both ‘guys, disney isnt gonna fuck you if you consume every remake for nostalgia value’ and ‘its understandable why people do it’.

so then you have to go ‘well are fans as just to blame’ and then that’s a whole other argument.

i think also like. i personally havent run into aaaannnyyyyyyy of the issues that you see posted online. which is ironic bc 1) i play on ps4 and 2) its an old dusty ps4. in fact a lot of ppl i have spoken to who have had issues have played on pc. does this mean the glitches dont exist? ofc not, the vids and screenshots are right there. but like... ive had a basically unhindered experience so far, and i get where ppl are coming from (i do, i promise) where theyve basically found the game unplayable. is there also a standard of what ppl consider unplayable because ive played most AAA games at launch when they basically rushed to slap the box label on the game and called it a day until they work on patches. when ppl consider unplayable is also just... different per person. some people have a slight blur on the screen when turning too fast even in an MMO and decide the game is horrible and unplayable. some people can have broken quests and npcs not loading and falling through maps and still be fine. there’s no agreed statement of what makes a game unplayable either, which is why you read threads on twitter and someone goes ‘yeah this npc t-posed so i quit in the first hour’ with a dozen replies. everyone has different levels of it.

it’s a mixed bag of issues. im not excusing cdpr, but the ppl who worked on the game are honestly likely not the ones who pushed for a release. you’ve gotta look at sony and microsoft and ceo’s with bonuses coming up and the investors and shareholders and people who sit behind computers and read numbers detailing interest and demand and supply and how every single time they had to delay this game, the loudest (but smallest) bunch of assholes on like reddit and in the twitter threads complained that it was delayed AGAIN even though back in what 2015? they said it’ll come out when it’s ready. and yeah there are times when game delays result in a mismatched half assed sort of story (kh3... p5... ffxv... dai...) and then there are times when, if they need to delay the game... they probably need to delay the game. sometimes delays are bad sometimes theyre good sometimes you are sitting there like whew if you only didn’t try to be like THIS TIME this is the release date.

the ONLY WAY this will stop happening is, quite frankly, unionising. and everyone is allergic to that whole concept so like... this is “the perfect storm” as you put it. but it’s also not. people have been so disappointed over the last 2 years alone for gaming companies, the final product, the attitudes from higher ups, that i think cdpr is receiving a good few years worth of anger. i think theyre also on the receiving end of misdirection from american fans who still don’t fucking get the company isn’t american, because that’s another bag of issues as well. like we’re holding at least 8 bags of groceries out of the back of the car now, and we don’t want to take another trip, because there are so many little bits of this entire situation to look at. there’s so much back and forth.

i think the worst, but most realistic thing is: games won’t change. how they will social media wise will. maybe. assuming bioware gets their heads out their asses but... they’re going to be a lot more careful. i mean, hell, sony offered refunds. that was just a publicity stint. they dont give a fuck if the game was bad. as i said before, if they did, they would make all companies fix trophy problems, starting from like 2010 or whenever the trophy system first came out. they just don’t wanna fall in alongside cdpr being thrown on its sword. but the companies are gonna learn from this, get smarter, still do the same shit to their employees, still pay off journalists, still do media blackouts, etc etc. and we’re gonna be here in another year’s time, with another game, having these same roundabout arguments, and cp77′s issues are gonna fade into just a wikipedia article.

[si-nging-ren]

*CRACKS KNUCKLES*

okay. ive decided im going to discontinue the jirou x reader fanfic "wrong number, my bad" for a number of reasons that i will get into in a bit. i have also, however, decided to create an smau for hawks (probably not, but who ive decided on for now) x reader, based on something more personal about me. the goal of the story being more personal is to give me a better layout for how it should continue on and the feelings can be more genuine than me making up stories on a whim and hoping they work. i will give out the plan for wnmb, however, so that anybody interested can still understand how the story wouldve ended.

now as for why im abandoning wnmb.

1. i dont feel the energy to write it anymore. i dont like where the story is going, and with my current mental state and status at school, i dont have the ability to start over or try again. i font have the ideas for the story and just dont vibe with it.

2. mental reasons. i can't stick to the schedule i made for the story as well as i used to be able to, and also personal mental health reasons that sort of keep me from doing so.

3. there are personal life reasons that cause this, but jirou has slowly evolved into somewhat of a discomfort character. i dont want to get into the reasons as to why, but i dont like her that much and bad memories come up whenever i try to sit with her in my head for too long.

thats really all for why i dont want to continue wnmb, but for anybody interested, here was the plan as to how the story was planned out (via notes):

- [x] yn and mina and ochaco do be talking doe

- [x] basically introductions

- [x] same with jirou baku toko yaomomo and denks

- [x] but THEN

- [x] yn and jirou talk :DDD

- [x] jirou basically says that theyre not annoying

- [x] yn says their typical clown shit

- [x] "aidjskjdh thanks you daddy 🥺"

- [x] jirou doesnt answer for a wholeass hour

- [x] "sorry had to go to church and clense from that sin"

- [x] "o-oh okay 😔 daddy doesnt love me"

- [x] "there are so many things wrong with that"

- [x] "😳😳😳"

- [x] "im starting to wish that i blocked you"

- [x] "nONONONONO IM SORRY"

- [x] "nyways what did you wanna talk about d-"

- [x] "......."

- [x] "arling :)))"

- [x] poor jirou just wanted to know about who they are

- [x] "name, hobby, talent, interests, whatever i just wanna know about you"

- [x] yn hops over to twitter all "omg theyre so sweet 🥺🥺🥺"

- [x] naturally ochaco and mina are all "fake bestie wtf are u talking about"

- [x] yn is laughing awkwardly and is just,,, "oh nothing 😳😳"

- [x] (nobody believes them)

- [x] then they ask about jirou but she has to give false info

- [x] except for her gender its fine if she says that

- [x] she hops over to the squad

- [x] panicking

- [x] "guys wtf i think i just committed a crime"

- [x] "nono youre fine what happened"

- [x] "i made a fake identity so the person who contacted me wouldnt know it was me"

- [x] "do they even know you???"

- [x] "YES they said they really liked our music and im PANICKING"

- [x] "okok calm down its not illegal or anything"

- [x] "i think"

- [x] "YOU T H I N K ? "

- [x] "yeah sorry :// but like you did this to yourself lmaooo"

- [x] jirou awkwardly hops back to yn

- [x] "yeah i think that band is pretty cool too im actually friends with some of them"

- [x] i mean its not false

- [x] ":ooo omg rlly?????? theyre so cool aaa 🥺🥺 maybe we can meet one day at one of their concerts 👉👈 jkjk...... unless 😳"

- [x] little did they know

- [x] LMAOO jk

- [x] kinda

- [ ] they end up talking for hoursss and mina and ochaco ask one day if they wanna hang out

- [ ] theyre all "hell yesss 🥴 where we goin??"

- [ ] a bar. they go to a fucking bar. (btw its to celebrate minas new job thingyyy)

- [ ] drink responsible kiddosss

- [ ] nyways afterwards she ends up talking to jirou bout how shes super nice and would love to be friends with her more

- [ ] jirou has gay panic tm

- [ ] like actually theyre rlly cute fuck

- [ ] yn asks if they can call since theyve never heard her voice or seen her

- [ ] jirous all ".....theyre drunk they wont recognize my voice"

- [ ] also shes rlly groggy since its TWO IN THE DAMN MORNING

- [ ] jirou calls her and yn asks if she wants to meet someday bby doesnt understand okay

- [ ] jirou panics and asks if they can get to know each other more first

- [ ] yn is hurt but understands and agrees

- [ ] yn asks to play 20 questions

- [ ] jirou asks if theyre a preteen jokingly

- [ ] yn whines and says its either that or a drinking game

- [ ] not wanting yn to drink anymore, she sighs and agrees

- [ ] she ends up finding out:

1. yn has a cat

2.

3. thats it, yn passed out

- [ ] jirou fell asleep on call later nd they didnt hang up until jirou woke up later and realized that awake yn would recognize her

- [ ] she quickly hung up and then sent them a good morning text

- [ ] bitches be playin

- [ ] but yn doesnt mind theyre a gay, dumb clown

- [ ] yn asks what minas job was since they never found out- god their dumb

- [ ] mina says its the typical teaching thing but its for ome of yns favorite bands

- [ ] "ooh, who are they?"

- [ ] "they said their name was blackbear! pretty sure youve talked about them some times before"

- [ ] "omygod mina you dont understnad if you could somehow find a way for me to find them i would literally marry u"

- [ ] "please dont. but ill try boo dw"

- [ ] she ends up doing it

- [ ] but inbetween then they end up getting rlly close like numerous calls and texts and learning more about each other until they realize they like her

- [ ] yn is super happy all "bro u guys are so awesome"

- [ ] bby girl is vibrating.

- [ ] LMAOO YOU WANNA KNOW JOWNTHEY FIND OUT

- [ ] THEY AND JIROU END UP BECOMING RLLY CLOSE LIKE THEY FRIENDSSSS

- [ ] AND SHE ASKS FOR THEIR NUMBER

- [ ] THEIR STILL JITTERY BTW SO THEYRE LIKE WOAH RLLY???? ID LOVE TO BRO

- [ ] AND JIROU PUTS HER NUMBER IN YNS PHONE AND SEES THE NAME "nd strikes" COME UP ND SHES LIKE "HUH MUST BE A GLITCH"

- [ ] BUT YNS ALL

- [ ] "HAHA SOMEONE NAMED "BBY" CAME UP WHEN I TYPED IN MY NUMBER I WONDER WHO THAT IS"

- [ ] "MAYBE I TYPED IT WRONG" CAUSE BBY IS DUMB

- [ ] MEANWHILE JIROU IS PANICKED CAUSE "HOLY FUCKING SHIT THEYRE BBY"

- [ ] SO SHE HANDS THEM THIER PHONE BACK AWKWARDLY AND YN SEES THEIR OLD MESSAGES AND PANICKS

- [ ] "HOLD UP IS STARS JIROU????? HAHHA NO IM BLIND AN D DUMB SURELY NOT"

- [ ] SO THEYRE LIKE "DID U EVER TELL ANYONE UR NAME IS STARS"

- [ ] AND JIROU JUST SIGHS AND IS CLEARLY IN PAIN AND IS JUST "YEAH THATS ME"

- [ ] ALL YN DOES IS LAUGH AND GO "YO THATS KINDA GAY"

- [ ] JIROU IS PAINED

- [ ] LIKE SHE THINKS THEIR GONNA HATE HER BUT????? NO??????????? SHES CONFUSED LMAOO

- [ ] yn blinks and realizes she should probably confess or smth

- [ ] "uhm, jirou?"

- [ ] "yeah whats up?"

- [ ] "aCTUALLY NVM ILL TELL YOU LATER-"

- [ ] later in a call they say it

- [ ] jirou is rlly smart and all but her first thought was "its cause of who i am. this happened immediately after."

- [ ] some part of her is screaming that its feelings and that she likes them back but she ignores it.

- [ ] like this has to be bad right???

- [ ] nyways jirou ghosts her like a clown and rants to the band b-wordssss gc

- [ ] yn cries to the babiest of the babies 🥺🥺🥺 gc

- [ ] yn asks if she just doesnt care about them now that shes seen them

- [ ] jirou realizes "wait fuck maybe im wrong"

- [ ] spoiler alert: she is

- [ ] she sort of goes "i didnt rlly think that you actually liked me actually

- [ ] yn starts crying

- [ ] (this is over call btw)

- [ ] "why tf wouldnt i?!"

- [ ] "bc you confessed right after you knew who i was"

- [ ] "istfg so our conversations just dont matter ig"

- [ ] jirou is confused

- [ ] like??? she gets that theyre mad but she does understand why so much

- [ ] "listen i just need to know if you like me back or not please. before i start crying again."

- [ ] she decided to not comment on how they were already crying

- [ ] "yes i like you okay"

- [ ] "do you actually?"

- [ ] "yes. istag that i actually like you and im not shitting u. if you want ill go there rn"

- [ ] ".....yes pls"

- [ ] "i need your address though"

- [ ] "oh yeah– its *address*"

- [ ] jirou arrives all nervous and shit

i didn't have anything planned out after that, but it was probably gonna be a kiss scene or something idk

[tartagliaxx]

hello!! i cant seem to find our last interaction but to be fair it was a whileee ago 💔 ahah hi it’s me, the anon that dropped off the face of the earth 😔 firstly i wanted to clear up a few things! my life has been pretty yucky since we last talked so i went off tumblr for awhile,, got sick, got sucky grades back, changed subjects etc etc. i’m sorry i disappeared like that regardless! i tend to do the whole hibernate into my little wallow of sadness and come back out when i’m finished,,, (a bad habit i need to break) i hope we’re okay! i actually just got back on socials and was surprised to see you mention the band hcs ahah and remembered f u c k i disappeared. tldr: me being a ghost was definitely not your fault and just me tryna figure out my life lol!

idk why spacing is so weird on asks anyway, how’s everything going in your life? are you doing alright? since we last talked i did catch a few glimpses of? maybe you didn’t get childe? i should really catch up on ur blog 😀 if he didn’t come home i’m tying him up and roasting him like a piece of meat on a fire bc w t f man???? rude as fuck not to come home to ur wife 😡🔫🔫 if he d i d come home,, disregard everything i said ☺️ <3 he’s safe,,, for now...

so back to the matter at hand: band hcs. love, please!!! do not force urself to write these 😔 i know u said u got em queued up but i can’t help but feel guilty bc i was definitely meant to throw my two cents in there! *cue me scrambling for my notes* from what i can gather.... *squints at notes* i could see childe as main vocal/on the electric guitar maybe bc i think that’s kinda sexy of him (nothing to do with ed sheeran playing guitar...😳) kaeya i can see as sub vocal/bass guitar - i feel like he wouldn’t be the face of the band but very popular for the vibe he’s got going. benny on the drums because benny on the drums that’s my explanation aaaand old man zhongli on keyboard/sub vocal. that’s what i had ahah probably totally different to yours but tell me your thoughts - i look forward to seeing yours! (note: this was just a boy band of my favs 😔) i just saw another post u had about...something i can’t remember but i had thoughts abt it and will send them in a seperate ask!!

i’m sorry i can’t remember much of what we said last time aaa my memory is horrible but i do remember something abt us watching barbie movies tgt and u perhaps saying that’s cool 👀 heh um,, if we were to start, would you want to go in chronological order? 👀 alright! this is very long so i’ll wrap it up there, all my love~! 🦋💞xx (if i got the emojis in the wrong order...no i didn’t 😳🤚)

mAN ahahahhahahahah ok, first of all, i never meant for you to feel guilty over this or put you in the spot for that matter because trust me, i understand. i sometimes need to stay away to recharge and stuff. besides, no one is ever, ever required to keep talking to me after they sent an ask. it’s not your responsibility to socialize with me but i appreciate it regardless. i’m so sorry your life was not going very well but i just know that better days are coming :)) and yes, we’re definitely okay. i do hope that u didn’t feel forced to send this tho!

things have been great! i have been doing absolutely nothing in contrast to back then when i was doing absolutely everything. it’s like a recharge period for me. oh and im doing my graduation rites on may 8 so there’s that.

ok so,, i lost 50/50 w mona and i lost all hope that i’ll get childe but drama queen went brr and came home on my 16th pull after that. i’m still a little salty bc you dont do that to your wife yknow??? so you have my permission to put him in a stick and grill him over live fire 😍

🥺🥺 that’s sounds fun!! the hcs are already done. i had a huge brainrot yesterday and finished it in one sitting. very different from what you have but im starting to feel like yours had more sense to it asvdhskkcbsjka n e way, childe being your bad boy guitarist bf.... MAN i see it and i love it. i feel like kaeya would exude sm mysterious energy and he just catches attention on stage. mr. popular through and through. and like,, i hc kaeya has pretty hands and just,, imagining it on a bass, fingers stretching to reach the chords... ugh seggsy 😭 benny boy send tweet!! i love that.. i feel like he’s the type to always have tons of spares on him bc he keeps snapping his sticks bc he gets into it. i love the polarity tho bc off stage he’s the softest boy around 🤧 and lastly, big man zhong... hehehehe... yes.

i got your other ask and i’ll answer it separately so we can vibe better there. on another note,, yes please!! let’s watch the barbie cinematic universe chronologically together!! idk how we’ll do it though? discord maybe? if u have that u can send in your id through an ask and i’ll send the request privately. thanks for dropping by again, bub!

ps. i think you got the emojis right

[blisslilywrites]

Todoroki x Reader

PROMPT: Todoroki with a s/o who’s insecure and thinks he should just be with Yaoyorozu -- @iishoto-kun​

A/N: Aaa im so sorry this took forever to write..if im being honest i dont quite like it all that much but i hope its good enough for you ~lily

You sighed and buried your head in your arms. It was just another day in class waiting for your teacher to arrive. You heard a bright laugh come from behind you and turned to see your boyfriend talking to Yaoyorozu. You weren’t the possessive type anyway so you didn’t exactly mind, but this particular classmate had you feeling all these mixed emotions inside. 

You’ve always been self-conscious about your body. There were parts of yourself you could never really bring yourself to love. That mostly changed when you got together with Todoroki. Being with him helped you learn how to better appreciate yourself for who you were. However, all that confidence he gave you seemed to disappear whenever you saw Yaoyorozu.

Yaoyorozu Momo, the closest one could probably come to defining the perfect girl. She was tall, beautiful, smart, kind, had a great body, and was basically everything you weren’t. 

Lately, you’ve begun to notice her little interactions with Todoroki. She easily talks to him and he’d respond just as casually

If you’re being honest, her relationship with Todoroki had always made you slightly uncomfortable. You knew they weren’t like that, but sometimes you can’t help but think it’d just be better for Todoroki if he was with Yaoyorozu.

The class bell rang and brought you out of your thoughts. You’d have to continue dwelling about these things another time.

The day went on as it always did. The only thing different was that Yaoyorozu seemed a whole lot closer to Todoroki. In all fairness, it was probably just your own imagination running wild. A few weeks ago you probably wouldn’t have minded, but now, you couldn’t just help but notice them whenever they were together. 

During the afternoon class, Aizawa partnered everyone up and told them to practice using their quirks in combo attacks. As if fate was mocking you, Todoroki ended up being paired with Yaoyorozu. Every once in a while, you’d glance over at them and see them working together in almost perfect sync. It was frustrating really, but all you could do was grit your teeth and focus on your own practice.

The final bell rang signaling an end to the day. You quickly packed your things and left the class for the dorms. Just a few seconds after you exited the building, you heard a voice call out to you.

“Y/n, wait up.”

It was Todoroki. He walked over and you two started walking silently, side-by-side, to the dorms.

Seeing the way Todoroki and Yaoyorozu were earlier put you in a quiet mood. Sure it was stupid, but the more you thought about it, the more convinced you became that Todoroki should just be with Yaoyorozu. 

It’s not like you were anything special. Your quirk wasn’t quite as powerful as hers. You didn’t look that pretty or that hot. You weren’t as smart and intelligent. In the end, he was probably just staying with you out of pity. All the little voices in your head kept whispering these things over and over. You tried to reason with yourself but that wasn’t getting you anywhere.

“Y/n? Are you ok?” Todoroki had stopped walking and was looking at you with concerned eyes. 

“Yeah I’m fine.” There you were, pushing your emotions down and building your walls up.

Todoroki just kept quiet and continued to look at you with what seemed to be genuine concern.

“Ok...if there’s anything wrong though, you’ll tell me right?”

You let out a deep breath, “Mhmm, I will.”

He gave you a small smile and you realized there was no point keeping your feelings to yourself. The words just started flowing out. You told Todoroki how, lately, you’ve begun to feel more and more insecure about yourself. You told him how you’d look in the mirror every day and feel unconfident in your body. 

“I just really scared sometimes, because one day, you might look at me and realize I’m not good enough for you--”

“Y/n, stop,” Todoroki interrupted. “I don’t know why you’re thinking all this because, to me, you’re already the most beautiful girl I met. Your body is absolutely perfect and there’s nothing I’d want to change about it...”

Your heart lightened upon hearing his words and you started feeling small tears pool in your eyes. He reached out and you leaned into his warm embrace.

“...so y/n, please stop saying all these things because you’re perfect just the way you are.”

[lemongogo]

hey im the anon abt gyutaro/ume and i dont remember what happens to demons after they die ?? did i miss smth ? regardless i wanna ask what do you think their fate should be ? cause on one hand i think they're just victims of a cruel world who took the first way out they could find but on the other hand it doesnt rlly justify all the slaughter, and i also think abt the demon slayers who also suffered horrible fates and used it to fuel their determination to save other people from that pain

hi !! i don’t think kny ever explicitly mentions what happens to demons after they die (as in we never have concrete evidence of where they go or how their lives after are spent), but i think the general consensus is that the demons go to hell. 

in some cases, the family can decide to go with them (ex: rui and i think akaza? if i remember correctly?) but their fate is pretty much sealed from that point forward i believe. 

heres a pic of gyuutarou and ume, actually, in chapter 97 !!

but yeah !! thats something i think about a lot tbh. as you mentioned, many of the demons we’ve seen have either been groomed into demonhood (rui, ume, susamaru, etc.) or had their pain and suffering exploited (akaza, gyuutarou) for the sake of advancing other demons’ plans (muzan, douma, etc). so i agree ! a lot of these characters are unfortunate victims in themselves and its impossible to view their stories without incorporating the struggles they’ve had to face as both humans AND demons. especially considering that lots of these individuals experience muzan’s abuse regardless of their status relative to him (such as with the upper and lower moons). i think this is best explained through akaza’s relationship with muzan,

(ch. 67)

(ch.156)

and further explored though tanjiro’s observation of rui’s death. he notes that being a demon, for most, is an existence punctuated by extreme grief and despair, and that’s equally supported, i think, by the humanization of these demons following death. that their original conscious is restored (albeit with knowledge of everything they’ve done) and are oftentimes plagued by the guilt of what’s happened.

(ch.43)

what he says here is probably what sums it up for me. that while it’s important to condemn these demons and hold them accountable for the truly awful things they’ve done, it’s also important to consider the suffering they've experienced through existence alone. its so !! complex !! and thats what i love about kny. i love how .. you have some demons who are entirely despicable and bask in the carnage they create, but you also have some for whom demonhood was simply what appeared to be the only answer towards living a healthier life or righting the wrongs that’ve been done to them (usually with false promises and manipulation unbeknownst to them). and .. its so hard to figure out where to.. draw that line. or view these characters at least. because you sympathize with their pain, but you also realize that their actions have caused endless pain for many hundreds of people. tanjiro losing his entire family, giyuu losing his. shinobu watching her sister die before her very eyes, and kanao the same. the ubuyashiki family’s curse or the slaughter of himejima’s children. you look at characters like sanemi, shinobu, or giyuu and understand that you cannot invalidate their view of demons either. while kanae and tanjiro may find hope and humanity in demons, they exist as monsters who feast on pain to everyone else. its important not to discredit their perspective when making a personal choice to observe the demons’ hardships yknow. shinobu’s anger is just as warranted as tanjiro’s optimism and that neither are wrong for how they personally feel demons should be handled after death. 

im like. AAAAAAAA theres so much to it , its really hard for me to condense into a few sentences AHAHA im so sry for making u read this if u still are. but . i guess i’m not too sure. i think maybe, had i experienced the same pain as those above, it would be easy for me to say the demons deserve to go to the worst hell imaginable regardless of what they’ve gone through because that history isn’t accessible to everyone like it has been the audience (or that they’ve seemingly made the conscious decision to cause harm w/o understanding the ways in which demonhood obscures their original conscious/morality). but at the same time, you have those like tanjiro whose world view is shaped by positive encounters with demons like nezuko, tamayo, yushirou, etc. where it seems very evident that . theres more to it than what meets the eye. 

one of my friends ive talked to about this had a rly good perspective on it thats kinda stuck with me since !! she said she likes to view their conclusion as some . separation of identity?? if that makes sense?? that the demon side of them goes to hell while their human form goes to heaven (or division into whichever afterlife). and !! i think thats a really neat interpretation because there’s obvious descrepancy between demon personas and human personas. that the demon personas are like. exaggerations of their flaws, almost (akaza becoming hellbent on battle spirits and physical victories when hajuki’s fury & determination was fueled by love in a sense) while their human personas are the truest sense of self. and depending on which influence there is (muzan vs the appearance of loved ones), their identity changes accordingly. so ! idk ! thats one nice way of looking at it. holding their demon personas accountable while also recognizing that many of these characters deserve some form of healing after many hundreds of years of abuse. its hard because ofc i don’t want to negate the harms they’ve caused but its also? not cut and dry given the environment they were placed in and the fact that muzan’s blood essentially removes their humanity against their will you know. so in this way at least you have both forms of self receiving the proper conclusion. 

whwhwhw so im. !!!!!!!!!!!! ah !! i can’t say i have a definite answer but i think the one above is smth thats comforting to me. i think the story settles with sending them to hell once they’ve regained their past self but also .. “softens” it by providing them company by their loved ones who are willing to go w them?? so thats rly cool to look at too. because it holds them accountable for all that’s happened but also.. recognizes that they’re not wholly responsible for it either and that .. even in hell they’re able to keep their connections and human emotions/experiences . its tragic yet oddly. fitting, i think, of the kny narrative. while i like the aforementioned interpretation, i also really.. appreciate the way its set up in canon too. like yeah i want the best for them but also. it fits in with the tragic nature of demonhood and what it meant for them all. oddly enough. 

u make a good point too !! about demon slayers experiencing the same hardships but using their pain to help others. i think a lot of it is plainly chalked up to luck in terms of.. what they were exposed to following tragedy. how shinobu and kanae were saved by himejima, tanjiro saved by giyuu, kanao picked up by shinobu and kanae, sanemi given the guidance of kagaya while akaza was killed by muzan during his lowest moment, ume and gyuutarou were cornered by douma, rui misled by muzan, etc. i think circumstance is definitely a large factor in determining the paths that were taken. such as sanemi’s anger being validated and heard by ubuyashiki vs, say, akaza’s same anger being intentionally exploited for muzan’s gain.

aaa anyways. theres a lot 2 be said about this. like. SO much on my mind and obviously the extent of muzan’s abuse goes far deeper than what’s briefly mentioned here but.  i love talking about the complexities of kny . and how i view the demons vs the corps and how each of them have grown into their respective stories . AA but ill end it here THNK U >> also so sry for making u read thru all of this i get so excited i could talk abt kny all day long if i had the chance AAA 

[pizzavorous-wolf]

Okay I just finished The Last of Us 2 gameplay and have many thoughts also when I read some other opinions from others.

First of all I understand why Joel had to die so early in the game but it was still early for me... I liked him but I dont mind him dying - characters die in stories. I dont even mind the way he died. Not everyone needs to have some dramatic tragic way of dying I find that actually a bit annoying... I like some realism in stories and seriously I dont mind this way. Sometimes it’s just bad timing and being at the wrong place meeting wrong people. Im tired of magical rescues or surviving.. sure there’s place for them but not overusing them.

Im very satisfied with Eli and Dina. Do you guys realise no matter how flawed this game is from your point of view this is huge fucking step? This is first AAA game that has openly protagonist LGBT character and very visible wlw relationship ON SCREEN? And not even limited to one time or just side convo? It’s huge fucking thing.

Now Im just gonna jump right to the ending. At first I couldn’t believe they actually did it and gave us exactly what we wanted but then yeeahh... Look you can never satisfy gamers... its either “oh gosh this ending is bullshit why does everything have to be dark i will pretend it never happened >:/” or “wtf this is not realistic they are just gonna live happy life now? it should have been darker” so yeah Im gonna say there should have been two endings at least. I seriously expected two endings yknow... the whole Abby vs Eli thing was screaming two endings at me. But we got what we got. Im bitter about the ending BUT at the same time I can understand what Naughty Dog was aiming for. They wanted to paint Eli as flawed human just like every single of us is. The whole game is pointing finger at our flaws. Eli was too caught up in her seek for revenge she didnt see the good thing she had. She realised too late the revenge is not the answer and so her fear of ending up alone came true. Seriously do you not know people who realise their mistakes too late? I know plenty. This is very human character.

But at the same time sure - I also would have loved the perfect lovey-dovey rainbow colored ending her living happily with Dina on the farm forever. Yeah that would be nice. But I also like in some way the actual ending. Because it shows Eli’s human nature so well.

Same for Abby. Both hated and loved. I didnt like her at first - when I didnt know her story yet. She lost her father. Who wouldnt seek a revenge? But she only aimed for Joel. No one else. Joel was her goal and the end of it. She also changed her kind of closeted mind about the outsiders (Scars) and I think she opened up to the different way of thinking during convos with Lev. She helped people she used to hunt and kill. She protected them with her life. She betrayed “her” people for them. Is this evil person? Antagonist? Not for me.

Obviously then again who wouldnt seek revenge when her ex boyfriend and his pregnant girlfriend got murdered? She was done with her revenge for father and now this? The vicious circle was burning.

But then... she wanted to kill pregnant Dina because Mel was also pregnant and that didnt stop Eli right? But then... yeah she didnt want to continue that circle. She broke it. But it was only her who did so. Once again to me - a person who breaks the circle of ongoing revenge is not the bad or evil one. She changed. She grew.

Eli did so as well but... a bit late. But thats okay. Because people grow at different speed as well. In that way I really like the game. Im not gonna spit poison at it because I see the writers wanted to show the complexity of human nature and the matter of coincidences... I dont need perfect stories and as I said many gamers still wouldnt be satisfied.

I also have respect for Naughty Dog for designing Abby. Shes very muscular. I can see other AAA game studios are still taking kind of baby steps in showing women as not only the hot perfect eyecandy for straight male gamers. They’re like “uhm... so this woman will be slightly overweight.. and has short not neon colored hair..shes not very feminine.. but dont worry! Shes only side character! She wont get in your way too much! Is it okay with you guys? :( Its okay right?”

But Naughty Dog gives you very visibly muscular woman with no makeup and hardly any feminine features as one of the main characters and you also have to play as her. Nothing subtle about it. No other eye-catching hot women for horny male gamers anywhere. Just women trying to survive living rough life. And looking normal. Abby is ripped and you will be very aware of it all the time. No “forcibly sexy” angles shes treated as any “regular” muscled male character would be.

I find it very refreshing. You only play as woman characters in this game. No macho muscular ruffled middle aged dude running around with rifle. We have already so many games like that. This is such a breath of fresh air at the AAA game industry. It was bold. Naughty Dog was expecting the backslash from those dudebro gamers. There are LGBT flags all over the map too. They give zero shit about being subtle and not hurting the dudebro gamer too much. Theyre so very open and I love that. No matter the other flaws I respect this so so deeply. And I hope they will be the inspiration for other studios to stop tip-toeing and just fully stand up - openly and with no shame.

Naughty Dog you did so well and I appreciate that. That game isnt perfect in all ways but Im seeing all that hard work and you standing up - rebelling againts the set rules - pandering to straight male gamers - yeah you go. I support you all the way.