#a-girl-called-panic

[stump-not-found]

mabel pines #1 hater

[lovesickeros]

☆ even the gods bleed [ pt 2 ]

{☆} characters furina, neuvillette {☆} notes cult au, imposter au, multi-chapter, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings none {☆} word count 1.9k {☆} previous [ 1 ]

This had to be a punishment of some sort – some kind of divine punishment.

She was bored out of her mind just watching the sleeping body – she hadn't blinked once in the past five hours, her eyes were really starting to hurt. Yet they still hadn't moved so much as an inch since she sequestered them away to the only place she had known to be safe.

But it'd been almost a week since then.

The only solace she found was that Teyvat had seemed much less hellbent on collapsing in on itself like a dying star.

That counted for something.

Not much, but something!

..Even if their position was no better then it was a week ago.

There was, after all, still the issue of what to do about the false Creator – the actual imposter – and the Archons following them like blind lambs. The other Archons wouldn't listen if she tried to reason with them, and it would only risk the life of Divine One if she spoke of their location to anyone else.

She also was pretty fond of having her head still attached to her shoulders.

So she avoided them all together. Partially because she wasn't sure she wouldn't have a breakdown at the sight of them..she'd never been a fighter, and fighting an Archon? Easy pass.

Instead she was forced to babysit the sleeping Divine until they woke up while Neuvillette handled taking care of the nation and dealing with the other Archons – and by extension the false Creator.

Really though, she would almost think them dead if not for the subtle rise and fall of their chest.

Though..this also left her with a lot of time to herself. A lot of time to think.

She really didn't like it.

There wasn't a lot to occupy her mind and what little there was only distracted her for a scant few moments before her eyes drifted back to the Divine like she was locked in their orbit, unable to escape.

She closed the same book for the twelfth time – she kept count – and returned it to it's meticulously designed place within her bookcase. A low, barely audible huff of frustration escaped her lips before she could bite it down, her stare boring a hole into the body of the Divine One with a sharp intensity she rarely showed.

She was tired, bored and constantly on edge, fearing that at any moment someone would find out about their presence here.

That, at the drop of a hat, she would be powerless to stop the greatest tragedy of her time play out before her eyes.

Neuvillette would have scolded her for being so petulant, especially around the Divine One, if he were here.

But he wasn't.

He was out running her nation, instead.

And what was she doing? Nothing!

She grit her teeth, nails digging harshly into the palm of her hands as she took a deep breath – now was not the time to think about that. She had..much more pressing matters. Sulking and letting her thoughts spiral helped no one, least of all herself.

Yet her attention was caught by a harsh inhale, the rustle of fabric – were they finally waking up? She was exhausted, but it all vanished at the sudden drop of life within the otherwise deathly still body of the Divine.

Her eyes followed the subtle twitch of their fingers, watching as their brow furrowed and their features twisted in something almost like..pain.

..She wasn't ready.

What was she supposed to say?

Should she even say anything? Would that be considered impolite? Does she wait for them to speak first? Should she kneel? Bow?

She doesn't get much time to find her own answer before their lashes flutter, chest heaving with every strangled breath. Every single thought vanishes from her mind the moment she meets their eyes.

For a long, silent moment she thinks that her heart must have stopped.

Their eyes glow like the cresting of the sun over the horizon, painting the world in hues of gold – yet it also reminded her of the dipping of the moon below the waves, casting the briefest, most gentle of lights upon the world engulfed in darkness. In the depths of their eyes was the birth and death of stars in the infinite cosmos – glittering stars in a sea of empty, blank space that left her feeling lightheaded and breathless.

Beneath the splendor is a spark of recognition in their eyes so vibrant it was like a shooting star piercing through the dark night sky, leaving nothing but the wonder in the eyes of the observer as the only proof it ever existed – brilliant in it's beauty, however brief.

It is the most beautiful thing she has ever seen.

"Focalors?"

The lilt of their voice nearly made her knees buckle beneath her – euphoria so consuming it left her feeling she was starving swallowed her whole, her mind blanking in a moment of utter bliss. It was..an indescribable feeling that she doubted she could ever hope to put into words – not in a way that could properly express it, try as she might.

She swallowed the words that threatened to spill from her lips – she couldn't make a fool of herself. Not in front of them of all people. She'd never forgive herself.

"Divine One," She rasps, clearing her throat and covering her mouth with a hand to mask both her nervousness and the small smile that creeps across her face. She quickly regains her composure, hand resting on her hip as she puffs out her chest with every bit of pride she can manage. "I am sure you must be confused, but worry not– your most loyal acolyte has seen the truth!"

The silence is deafening.

She opens one eye, peaking at the bewildered and almost distraught expression of the Divine.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

That..she was not prepared for. Surely they knew who they were! Surely they knew. They had to– she's been praying to them for as long as she's breathed, she's dedicated every hour of her life to living up to their ideals, they can't just–!

"Lady Furina?"

Neuvillette, thankfully, spares her the embarrassment of having a meltdown in front of the Divine, the gentle rap of his knuckles against the door making her and the Divine pause, the soft lull of his voice soothing her nerves and yet setting her on edge at the same time.

"Neuvillette." She clears her throat again, her steps hurried as she marches to the door and pries it open none too gently, a forced smile pulling at her lips. She wastes no time tugging the man into the room, shutting the door behind him with a short huff. The silence is, somehow, even worse then before as the three of them stare at each other in absolute exasperation.

Neuvillette, for his part, manages to get his act together with a sharp clearing of his throat, bowing so low even she looks unnerved. She steals a brief glance at the Divine, and she's taken aback by the uncomfortability twisting their features into a grimace.

Their expression is schooled back into one of empty apathy when he stands back to his full height, but she saw it – she knows she did! Did they not like their worship? Were they not respectful enough? For a moment, she feared the Divine would smite Neuvillette down on the spot..but they just stared at him like he was a ghost.

"Why aren't you killing me?"

The defeated, resigned tone combined with the way their voice cracks makes her heart ache in her chest – it feels as though her entire world is crumbling down at her feet, and she cannot explain why she feels such emotions so strongly, but it is suffocating. It is almost as if Teyvat itself is weeping, bearing down upon her shoulders like a heavy weight.

She feels the urge to weep herself, but she powers through, gritting her teeth long enough for Neuvillette to take his place at the side of her – though it feels more like their – bed, kneeling like he was going to pray.

"Divine One," He offers a hand with a quiet rumble of his voice, the words slipping off his tongue like honey. It's like trying to soothe a stray cat..though she'd never voice such comparisons of the most Divine out loud. "I..we mean you no harm. I swear on my authority as the Iudex of Fontaine and Chief Justice that you are safe with us."

The skepticism she expected, but the reverence in which Neuvillette must convince them – or perhaps they are simply so tired that they simply did not care any longer if it was all some ploy to drive a knife between their ribs. She didn't expect them to actually place their hand in Neuvillette's.

He didn't either, judging by the way he visibly brightened – not that they'd notice, but she did.

..Not that she could really blame him, her heels clicking against the floorboards as she shifted her weight to the other foot with a nervous energy that was practically bursting at the seams, more then a little jealous of the attention he was receiving. She was the one who found them, she was the one who stayed with them the entire time..but he gets all the attention?

How unfair.

"O-of course! We would never lay a hand on our creator," She adds, her voice a little higher pitched then she would have liked as she placed her hands on her hips, puffing out her chest and brushing off the sting of jealousy. "Least of all I– your most loyal, most devout acolyte!"

She felt baffled when she heard the sound of their laughter, her shoulders hunching and her cheeks flushing on mere instinct – she was expecting mockery, but the look in their eyes, still dulled by a pain she cannot even begin to imagine, made her hesitate.

..It was, perhaps, the most genuine thing she'd heard from them ever since before the hunt began.

She wasn't sure why her heart hurt at such an idea, but it was enthralling to see the beginnings of a half hearted smile on their lips.

For a moment, her mask of theatrics was forgotten as she stared at them in a mixture of awe and adoration– and though she didn't look at Neuvillette, she could imagine he must've shared such an expression.

Had she any doubts that they were her Creator, that they alone were the most Divine..they would wiped clean now. There was no mistaking the way the world itself seemed to grow clearer as they glanced up at her like she was worth something.

For a moment, she realized how cold the false Creators gaze had been now that she has felt warmth so gentle it almost made her knees buckle beneath her. It felt like a pale imitation, now.

Nothing could compare to the warmth that spread through her body at the mere semblance of a smile upon their lips. She didn't even mind if it was her they were laughing at anymore, she just wanted to hear them laugh again.

She'd make a fool of herself, if she had to.

She'd never felt so..ravenous for such a thing, but just the briefest glimpse was addictive.

She simply couldn't help herself from striding across the room and clasping their free hand in her own, her smile wide enough to unnerve as she leaned her weight onto the bed. For a moment, she considered pulling away at the way they startled, but her mind was made up by then – there was no going back.

"Again."

[tartarusknight]

I need a fem Steddie fic where Stevie is a singer. I know, I know, but it has to be Stevie. She is put in the industry by her parents who see her voice to be the only good thing she has going for her. It's either have her try to get famous or marry her off.

So, they get a friend to sign her on. They make the stereotypical pop music for a girl. Stevie sings whatever songs they hand her and she starts to gain a good following. But it's more men who leer at her.

A few years go by and she's tired of the act. So much so that she takes the invite one of the stagehands give her out of pity to a party. It's not the normal kind of party she goes to while on tour, instead it's more of a friend hang out. But Dustin was a sweet kid and Stevie needed to get away from her managers and parents for a night.

When she gets there, she immediately is drawn to the tall girl who greets Dustin by shaking him around. Stevie soon is introduced to Eddie, who looks her up and down like she just can't help it. But Stevie knew she shouldn't. She had an image to maintain and parents to please.

But after a little while and a few drinks, she's being pressed into the door being kissed within an inch of her life. She feels for the first time a connection and it's a night that's seared into her mind. A usurpingly sweet and tender moment of passion. But she wakes up to an empty bed without a note or number. So, she needs to move on. But she just can't.

Her life feels changed for the better and she begins to understand herself more from the spark she felt. But when she's handed her mic and expected to go on stage and sing about boys, she feels dread. The night is rough, but she makes it a point to give her fans a show. But the rest of the tour drags on worse than ever.

The moment it's done she gets a lawyer and ends the contract a few month earlier than it was supposed to expire. It's emotionally draining but she can't spend another moment on stage being someone she isn't.

She searches for another label to sign under, instead she finds a recently graduated music producer. Robin Buckley is awkward and has a degree in music and knows a few different instruments.

It's a chance meeting really. One that would never have happened if there hadn't been a fire in a mall. Stevie hadn't been prepared for it when she went in, but she still readily threw herself in protecting the girl when a piece of ceiling collapsed.

They ended up stuck in a room together, trying not to pass out from the smoke slowly filling the room. And told all their secrets like a final confession. Stevie told Robin about how there was a girl that stole her heart and she never let herself be... well her.

Robin admits to feeling like she was going to fail for picking a job she enjoyed instead of something to get money fast. Her parents showed her disappointment and she's worried about not making it.

So, there in the small bathroom, Stevie promised to take a chance and work with her. That when they got out, maybe they'd work together to produce music themselves. It's a moment of tears and promises, ones they both never think would come true, but then they're saved.

It's slow going, but soon the two of them are making music under a mix of their names. Sin. Of course, many people recognize the voice and face of Stevie, but it's a new start. And they are making a statement.

Stevie leans into her new identity at as a lesbian, something she hadn't told the public before. She writes music about a girl that took her breath away and how men never seemed to work for her. Robin of course, was there to push her and help her make each song better than before.

They make a full album and release it through their own little company, and they have a social media platform where they mess around to promote their songs. Stevie's image changes and she isn't hiding in the closet anymore with Robin being completely herself as well.

Their first song that blows up is from a small tik tok of Stevie in extravagant makeup and a magician's outfit, a sexy one of course. Singing, "She was a playboy, Brigitte Bardot. She showed me things, I didn't know. She did it right there, out on the deck. Put her canine teeth in the side of my neck."

But soon people were all over the album and the difference in Stevie Harrington's music and Sin's. Stevie went all out, and Robin was right there next to her, playing most of the instruments in the songs. They have to reach out though for other artists to join them on tour.

That's when a familiar stagehand reaches out with the number of the best guitarist he knows. She doesn't have any social media, and her last phone fell through a drain grate but "she's the absolute best! I promise you'd want to give her an audition!" Dustin had been so excited, and Stevie only had fond memories of the kid, so she agrees.

As Stevie and Robin take auditions, low and behold, Dustin walks into the room with Eddie right next to him. Stevie feels the air get sucked out of her lungs and she can't tear her eyes away.

The moment is broken but the stumble in Eddie's step and how her face goes bright red. Suddenly Dustin's dragging Eddie inside and Stevie doesn't care for a moment if Eddie's the worst guitarist in the world, she wants to hire her right then and there.

Robin can see her brain melting out of her ears and makes the decision to take Eddie to audition and give Stevie and Dustin a chance to catch up.

But soon enough Stevie's on stage kneeling next to a kneeling Eddie's on stage. Singing, It's hard when you're going through hell and you're hating yourself, I'm feeling myself. It's hard when you know that you're caught and you're getting pissed off, it's getting me off. It's hard, it's hard. Oh, God, oh, God, Oh, God." And grinning when Eddie's pupils blown wide as Stevie fakes an orgasm on stage, mid-song.

Yeah, I want this as a fic so much.

[hadesoftheladies]

FEMALE MOVIE/TV RECS (PART 5 / HORROR & CRIME DRAMA)

got inspired from a recommendation post so decided to make a list of movies and shows with female-centric stories/female protagonists. since i can't post all of the genres in one post, i'll split it into multiple posts and y'all can save or add to the list as you wish. (disclaimer: i have watched most of these, but i only know about the existence of others. not every movie/show on these lists will be my recommendation. my recommendations will be beneath the list with reasons. also some of these are way better than others in terms of storytelling/performance--which is why i'll list my faves separately):

Common Themes:

-Dangerous girls (they ain't innocent)/ girlhood as violent

-Stressed out and melancholic female detectives and authors (lots of drinking/smoking)

-Mothers who've seen too fucking much to play games/I'm a good mother until it doesn't let up

-Women handling shit/getting shit done

-Mothers who didn't want to be mothers but here we fucking are so might as well handle shit

-Evil women who are also unfortunately hot

-Female sociopaths (not always negatively portrayed)

HAVEN'T WATCHED

The Royal Hotel

The Silent Twins

The Kitchen

The Lost Flowers of Alice Hart

I'm Thinking of Ending Things

Sharp Objects

Killing Eve

Abigail

Heavenly Creatures

A Quiet Place Part 2

Panic Room

Alice, Darling

Blood Red Sky

Rust Creek

The Marsh King's Daughter

Pearl

Longlegs

GOOD STUFF (NEVER WATCHING AGAIN THOUGH!)

Bad Sisters (8/10) (sisters plan to kill their sister's abusive husband)

Yellowjackets (9/10) (love as cannibalism)

Candy (7.5/10) (she's just a killer lol)

Cruella (6.5/10)(help my mom is a narcissist and it's hereditary)

Jennifer's Body (7/10) (boys aren't people lmao)

Bird Box (8/10)

Under the Bridge (8/10)

PERSONAL NOTES

I watched Tragedy Girls years ago, and I remember being grossed out and having a lot of fun as well. If you like Jennifer's Body, you'll probably like Tragedy Girls, too. And if you like Tragedy Girls, you may also enjoy Thoroughbreds. All three have a twisted sense of girlpower.

The Call isn't scary so much as its nerve-wracking and upsetting. It's not gory (although there is violence), but it deals with heavy subject matter. I can, however, promise a satisfying ending. Even though I doubt it would put you at ease.

Horror is my least favourite genre so bear that in mind. I just hate jump scares (because I hate being startled) and I don't like gore though there are times where it doesn't bother me so much. So this is definitely not an exhaustive list on horror recs. Crime is as close as I usually get to such dark stuff so I put the dark crimes, psychological thrillers and horrors together. I don't even want to talk about these that much because I'm nauseous already.

Watch at your own risk.

[lgbtpopcult]

What to watch when...

You feel sad

Comedy I care a lot

Or

Comedy Crush

You need a scare!

Slasher horror Fear Street trilogy

Or

The haunting of Bly Manor horror series

You want to practice your Spanish

Calle y Poché: No Labels reality show

Or

Las pelotaris 1926 Spanish period action series

You want sappy romance

Love classified Hallmark movie

Or

Strawberry Panic anime

You want some action in your life!

Killing Eve crime series

Or

Harley Quinn the animated series

[foxett]

Me irl trust

[musicalmoritz]

There is not a single straight bone in Mitsuba’s body like I genuinely believe that man could never like a woman. Sousuke I know what you are

[pilonciillo]

lol didn’t think someone giving money would give me anxiety

[faaun]

pls i need to provide updates

[kraro-school-life]

Like 3 weeks ago I made a list of 'productive' things to get done. What I didn´t know is that things would get worse after that.

See, mental health is something I always somehow managed to keep up. But recent events/ development have worsened it and my physical health too. It is weirdly intertwined with eachother for me and that´s what´s frustrating. I KNOW my pubescent brain is just desperatly trying to connect my neurons and keep the chemistry up there right somehow (- Quote from my mom btw). But everything is just so frustrating I want to cry and never stop sometimes.

I had to give up an event I was looking forward to for half a year but it´s better that way. It feels like my life was slowly shaking, getting more and more shaken up and in the end technically nothing moved from it´s place, but I ended up somewhere else and got a different, new perspective on everything. And I don´t like this prespective so it´s time to rearrange this shit.

So I will take one step at a time and before school starts I hope to have it figured out at least a little bit more. I will, as always, use this blog to motivate me :)

~ ♦️

[mothinabottle]

Ok, so I'll go back to posting drawings soon, but I need to ramble about girls with short hair like??? What gives them the right to be so pretty???? And when someone has bags under their eyes, like REAL bags under their eyes. A tired person who is themselves and has short hair ohmygod I knew this was my type, but fuckkkk

Saw someone with short hair and bags under their eyes at the breakdancing olympics and I JUST FELL IMMEDIATELY. Saw this yuri manga that is called "The guy she was interested in wasn't a guy at all" and fell for Mitsuki, too 😭(That without counting the fact that all my girl crushes have been girls with short hair through my life). It's like I have this instant crush for girls with short hair that I can't help. It just looks so fashionable and great and so comfortable and makes them look so cool.

Help, I am having a huge gay panic rn 😔

[alex-is-the-king-11111]

Me when I'm about to play Mama by MCR on repeat for an hour and cry

[florida3exclamationpoints]

I'm gonna post this hopefully quickly and then go make bracelets to distract myself bc I wanna get it out but not have to come back to it later . And I will be whining about this on main a lot so I might as well give yall some context first

[all-too-unwell-13]

is it just me or is 'girl i've always been' by olivia rodrigo kind of avery grambs coded????

[figuerockfaeth]

can people just have kindness and understanding for others for two seconds please

[ratatatastic]

no im still on maffhew calling the forsymaffhew lovechild a missile