#my mom called her “the ginger” im crying

[foxett]

Me irl trust

[bvidzsoo]

Love Me Like A Rockstar (13)

ー☆ Chapter 13: You Know Me Too Well

Author: bvidzsoo

Pairing: Song Mingi x female reader

ー☆ Warning: cursing, usage of the word 'bitch' ー☆ Word count: 6.5k ー☆ Genre: university!au, enemies to lovers!au, rockstar!au ー☆ Rating: sfw ー☆ Summary: Love. You wanted none of it. You had already been heartbroken very badly once, you didn't wish to go through that ever again. But the Universe works in intricate ways and, somehow, you found yourself webbed up in a local rockstar's life, Song Mingi. He was everything you expected him to be, yet nothing like you imagined him he would be. What happens when you find mutual understanding and have heartful conversations? Will he be able to break down your walls? Will you be able to chase away his darkness?

A/N: Well, well, lovelies...new chapter is up and maybe I'm kind of kicking my feet??? Who knows, we'll see what y'all think of this chapter hehe. Also, happy birthday to Song Mingi?! I actually didn't mean to post the new chapter today, but today was the only day I had enough time to write it sooo, yeah. Tmi, but MC's mother is exactly like my mom, so maybe I drew inspiration from real life lol, I love her to death but sometimes I really wish SHE DIDNT SPEAK lol. Also, I'm so obsessed with today's song for the chapter; I'm screaming, crying, throwing up over it LOL. Just a heads up, next chapter is the last like actual chapter of the series and then I decided to add an epilogue lol cue the sobbing. As per usual, listen to You Know Me Too Well before or while reading the chapter! I hope you enjoy and let me know through feedback hehe <3 Enjoy your weekends! divider

Taglist: @orshii @or5i @lovely-red2 @scarfac3 @juicy-red

@sunaswifes-blog @voicesinmyhead-rc @teez-the-time @maru-matt @kyeos4ng

@deathbyyeekies @chicksmoothie @mjlbn01 @xhexy @tmtxtf

@hwashiningstar @thatfavouritesong @ateez-atiny380 @xciiiomwliah @vixensss

@catchingskzzzs @tesssaurrr @ginger-mingi @mingisbbg

⟨Series M.list ↭ Previous Chapter⟩

♫Playlist♫

            Saturday (2:55 pm)

Me: mingi can we talk?

Saturday (8:30 pm)

Me: i am free whenever you say so just let me know and i’ll be there

            Sunday (9:15 am)

Me: we need to talk, mingi.

            Sunday (12:08 am)

Me: please hear me out im sorry

Monday (current time)

            “Do you think he’ll slam the door in my face?” The hallways were buzzing with life as I tried to veer my way around the crowd of students without running into anyone. Today, out of all days, I just so happened to have my last class of the day in a completely different building and at least a good five-minute walk away from the arts building.

“It’s what you’d deserve, to be fair, but—” The was a gasp on the other side of the phone and my eyebrows furrowed as Seulgi muttered something to someone, muffled, “sorry, Wooyoung almost dropped my mother’s favorite vase, I told him to take off that blindfold.”

Eyebrows furrowing even deeper, I abruptly stopped walking, making a girl give me a heated glare that I didn’t care for, “Why is he blindfolded? Wait! I actually don’t want to know.”

“We were playing hide and seek with his niece, you idiot, but I got bored and sneaked away when I saw you calling.” Seulgi’s voice was exasperated and I chuckled as I took off again, leaving the science major’s building as I nuzzled further into my thick scarf. Some days it was warmer, but most days it got really cold and I hated it. I couldn’t deal with the freezing weather, perhaps it was my biggest enemy after Jeong Yunho, “Anyways, as I was saying, you deserve to be ignored by Mingi, but knowing how big of a sucker he is for you, he’ll probably give in before you can utter a single word.”

My heart jumped at the thought as I gnawed on my bottom lip, cutting off the path as I hurried through the grass, uncaring that I was probably destroying the work of the gardener. Besides, the grass had barely just started growing out again, it would be fine, “You think so?”

“I know so.” I heard Wooyoung’s high-pitched voice shouting from the distance and my eyebrows furrowed as I realized Seulgi had probably put me on speaker. Now that was a bit awkward, “He’s an idiot, but he’s in love. Now that I come to think of it, you two are a lot alike, two idiots in love—”

“I believe your niece is looking for you, babe.” Seulgi cut her boyfriend off and I was thankful because I don’t think I could’ve handled hearing him say the words ‘in love’ again. That was scary, even just the thought of it. I was barely coming to terms with liking Mingi, but hearing the word love sort of made me want to turn back around and abandon my whole plan of trying to make peace between the two of us. And Seulgi knew this, thankfully, because she didn’t say anything about it again, “Are you on your way to his studio right now?”

I hummed and curled my fingers tighter around the thermos bottle, my nose cold from the weather as the arts building finally came into sight, “Yeah, three minutes and I’m there.”

“Good.” Seulgi sounded content and I sighed as I tried to ignore the dawning anxiety that tried to crawl through my body and make me abandon my well-thought-out plan. I had to do this. Seulgi and my mom were right, I couldn’t mess this up again. I liked Mingi, a lot. He is a good guy and I shouldn’t let my past and my fears dictate my life. Yes, Mingi is Yunho’s best friend, but Mingi isn’t like Yunho. Hopefully, “Update me later then, I love you Y/N, I hope you know that.”

I chuckled and nodded at the security guard as he was out of his cubicle, standing at the bottom of the steps, smoking his cigar, “I know, thank you for knocking some sense into me.”

“We’ll see about that later.” Her snort was amused and I shook my head as we said our goodbyes, the warmth of the building making me sigh out in relief as I entered through the front doors. I pocketed my phone and unwrapped my scarf from around my neck, greeting the familiar people I crossed paths with. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t feeling nervous at all, after all, I didn’t know how Mingi would react. If he was anything like me, he wouldn’t forgive me so easily. Not when I’ve hurt him again and in the worst way possible.

As I ascended the marble stairs, I found stability in the thermos bottle clutched firmly in both of my hands now, its weight helping me to keep my determination and focus on going through with my own plan. When I woke this morning and went to take a quick shower, I was surprised to hear my mother’s singing and smell the delicious waft of pancakes, making my stomach growl loudly as I didn’t have dinner the night before. It seemed like my mother had taken a day off, grumbling something about her deserving a day to rest after she was almost choked out by one of her mentally ill patients. I couldn’t help but agree with her as we sat at the table in silence, enjoying our breakfast, that is until she cleared her throat loudly and stood up, fetching a mug and a cup from the counter next to the sink. I froze when I realized she was handing me the cup Mingi had designed with funny looking chicks on it, and I was even more confused when I realized it wasn’t coffee I was drinking, but hot chocolate.

“So, what are you going to do about that handsome fella?” I tried not to groan or regret the fact that I told her everything about Mingi. I took a tentative sip of the hot chocolate and realized it wasn’t hot before taking a bigger gulp as I enjoyed its sweet taste.

“I’ll talk to him today—”

“Great!” My mother didn’t even let me finish as she sprung up from her seat again to fetch something from a cupboard, “It’s amazing how strong our maternal intuition is, I swear my starlight, you should make some babies soon.”

“Mom.” I groaned as I watched her curiously as she took a blue thermos bottle from the cupboard and filled it with hot chocolate from the kettle, “We’ve had this discussion many times before, I’m not having children so young.”

“You’re not that young though.” She sent me a sheepish smile as my eyes widened, feigning hurt.

“I’m turning twenty-three?! How is that not young?” She cleared her throat as she sealed the thermos and walked back to the table to sit down.

“I’m just trying to inspire you, anyways,” She huffed and then placed the thermos on the table and pushed it towards me, “Bring this to him as peace offering, he’ll love it. Trust me.”

“I don’t think what Mingi needs right now is hot chocolate—”

“Finish your breakfast and shut up.” My mother didn’t let me finish as she cut off a thick part of the pancake with her fork and forced it inside my mouth, making me groan, “Mothers know best when it comes to stuff like this, be thankful I’m saving your relationship and be back before lunch. I’m ordering take out, and I certainly am not waiting for late your ass if I’m hungry.”

I knew fighting my mom was fruitless, so I just grumbled an okay as I tried to chew the pancake she had forced in my mouth, my cheeks all puffed out. My mother seemed content that I finally wasn’t talking back to her and I shook my head as I pulled the thermos bottle towards me, reminded of the time when Mingi had brought me tea knowing that I would be feeling probably a little sick after getting all soaked in the cold rain and harsh wind.

So, now, with Mingi’s clothes in my tote bag and the thermos filled with hot chocolate in my hands, I couldn’t help but feel optimistic despite the anxiety gripping at my thoughts. If my mother, Seulgi, and even Wooyoung—who knew Mingi like the back of his hand—were convinced that everything would work out just fine, then why would I not believe that? Sure, Mingi was probably still annoyed at me, but I didn’t think a few apologies and even more explanations couldn’t fix the issue at hand. All I had to do was be honest and come clean with my feelings and he’d probably do the same and then—that’s where anxiety stepped in. Then what? Was I ready to pursue a relationship? Did Mingi want to date me? Did I want to date him? Why did it have to be Jeong Yunho’s best friend I was into? Why could I not move past my fears and stop associating Mingi with everything I was wounded by, when he never once made me feel like Yunho did? I could dwell on these thoughts for an eternity, I fear, but I didn’t have that time right now. And to be fair, I didn’t want to think of such things right now because I could feel my determination wither the closer I got to the music majors’ floor, heartbeat loud in my ears.

I stopped at the end of the hallway and took a deep breath, eyes settling on the studio I knew now was used by Mingi only. Wooyoung was nice enough to tell me the number of his studio—not that I had forgotten since the last time I was here—and he also let me know that it was used by Mingi only, the teachers having granted him full access, even at hours when students were supposed to be at home. It seems so Mingi was a favorite amongst the teachers, and I could see why. He was diligent and hard-working; his lyrics were beautiful and nothing would stop him from fulfilling his dream of becoming a well-known rockstar. I couldn’t help but feel excited at the prospect of that, and hoped that I would be part of his journey, that he’d let me back into his life.

Steeling my nerves and trying to see the light at the end of the tunnel, I knew there was no turning back. I wanted to do this, I had to do this. I had to stop sabotaging myself, and so, I marched down the hallway towards Mingi’s studio with a newfound hope and determination. Which lasted about five seconds as I came face to face with Mingi’s studio door. There was a small window on it, which would let you know whether the room was occupied or not, and it was straight across the desk where he was sat at—with the blonde girl standing right next to him. And that should have been okay, because really, Mingi could talk to whoever and spend his time also with whoever he pleased. And it’s not like I didn’t have male friends—I didn’t, Seulgi was my only friend—it’s not like he couldn’t speak to one of his fans. After all, he’s made it clear she was nothing more than a fan he appreciated for helping spread the word about his band.

But then, why was her hand on his shoulder one second and the next second slowly trailing down the sleeve of his beige cardigan—which looked like it was messily stained with paint—and certainly the way my good disposal dissipated and was overtaken by blind jealousy and rage had nothing to do with the sudden possessiveness that shook me to my core. And perhaps the thing that bothered me the most wasn’t even her feeling up Mingi’s arm as she looked down at him with sultry eyes, perhaps it was the way Mingi leaned back in his chairs, legs spread wide, and smirk on his lips as he looked up at her with his sharp gaze, allowing her to touch him. Perhaps that’s what sent me over the edge as I barged inside the studio in the most unceremonious way, making the girl yelp in fright and Mingi flinch as his eyes widened.

『Baby, you're all that I want

I want you all to myself

Oh, but you know me too well』

And when I was angry—or panicking, or hurt—all rational thoughts flew out the window as I was led by nothing else but pure instinct and a shit ton of unclear and not so necessarily nice thoughts. Simpler put, I wasn’t thinking nor making sense, but I couldn’t care less as I glared at the both of them while I struggled to mask the fury licking at my veins. They were both looking at me wide eyed, as if I had caught them doing something I wasn’t supposed to, and that made me snap before I could think through how to proceed with this whole shitshow, “Get out.”

For a second, even I didn’t recognize my voice as it dropped a few octaves, fierce gaze set on the blonde girl as she paled, eyes scrambling between Mingi and me as, suddenly, Mingi seemed to snap out of whatever scare I had given him by slamming his door open and into the wall. God, I hope I haven’t actually damaged it, because I certainly didn’t have the money to pay for it right now. I couldn’t look at the blonde girl anymore, heart beating fast in my chest as Mingi and I made eye contact, his eyebrows set in a deep frown as he had a sneer on his face.

“Excuse me?” God, even her voice was annoying. I looked back at the blonde girl and raised my eyebrows at her mockingly.

“Are you deaf?” I chuckled, but it was humorless, “Do I need to repeat myself?”

She huffed, looking offended—rightfully so—and I gritted my teeth as I stepped inside the studio, making it pretty obvious that I wasn’t going anywhere before this bitch left. I tried not to see red as Mingi’s hands balled up into fists or the way the girl snickered, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

“You’re the one that’s barged inside uninvited, sweetheart,” And if I could have, I would have ripped her blonde strands out, “this isn’t your fucking studio, so, shut up. Mingi wants me here, maybe you should leave.”

I bit my bottom lip to stop myself from laughing, somewhere deep in my mind realizing I looked absolutely psychotic and if Mingi didn’t hate me before, he certainly would hate me now. I wasn’t helping myself; I was making everything worse—just the usual, then. But this bitch wasn’t stopping me from getting what I came here for, and I hummed as my eyes fell on Mingi again, who’s jaw was clenching and unclenching. His sharp eyes were narrowed, but it seemed like he wasn’t saying anything anytime soon and that only pissed me off more.

“Sure,” I nodded and walked further inside, forcefully throwing my tote bag on the small couch against the wall on my left, making the contents of it spill out. I watched as both Mingi and the girl looked at the clothes, and Mingi’s expression flashed with something unreadable for a second, “Mingi wants you here.”

I suppose neither expected me not to stop until I reached the desk, coming up on Mingi’s left side as I slammed the thermos bottle—albeit too harshly—against the desk, a loud bang echoing in the room. Mingi’s eyebrows furrowed as I opened my mouth to tell the girl to leave again, but suddenly, he was up on his feet, staring me down. The height difference wasn’t that great between the two of us, but suddenly I felt small under his heated glare and sneer that seemed to settle on his lips, broad shoulders intimidating as he lowered his head just a little bit. He looked nothing like the Mingi I had gotten to know over the past few months, and it made my heart race as I realized I might not be able to reason with him today, “What the fuck is your problem, Y/N?! You tell her to get out when you barge in unwelcomed, and then start demanding for her to leave—”

I couldn’t even let him finish his sentence before I was firing back my argument, “Oh, what’s my fucking problem?! Maybe the fact that you lied to me?”

“About what?!” Mingi snapped, eyebrows furrowed as he took a step towards me, his body big enough to make the blonde girl not be seen behind him.

“Oh, be for real.” I scoffed and rolled my eyes, “You never show anyone your songs to? But you so conveniently let me listen to that unfinished song of yours and now look who else gets to listen to it? Her. If you’re so desperate to get laid, you should have—”

“I didn’t show her shit.” Mingi cut me off, voice shaking as his cheeks grew red from anger, probably. Mingi wasn’t a scary person, but he looked scary right now. There was no ounce of kindness in his expression nor tone, he looked cold and angry and like he hated me. I gulped and realized, once again, that I was digging myself deeper into the shithole I had created for myself, that I was hurting him again and again. This is not how things were supposed to go, “I only showed you. That unfinished song you’re talking about, only you know about it. Thanks for reminding me again why I shouldn’t deal with you anymore—”

“Stop it.” I snapped, eyebrows furrowing as I felt fear grip at my throat, making my voice sound shaky as Mingi’s expression went blank. I hated when he did that. I wanted to know what he was thinking about, I needed to see what he felt. I couldn’t do this if he withdrew himself, I couldn’t do this if I was the only one that would bare her heart to him. I was scared. He was pushing me away like Yunho had done, Mingi was abandoning me.

“Stop it?” If I wanted to cry when he laughed in my face mockingly, impassive smirk settling on his lips, I didn’t let it happen. I kept my composure, anger, hurt, desperation, yearning all mixing together as I found it harder and harder to breathe, “You want me to be nice to you after all the shit you said to me on Saturday? You want me to treat you like before after everything that’s happened? I can’t. You hurt me, made me feel like a fucking idiot, Y/N, you broke—I thought we were friends. I feel disrespected and played, and yet here you are again, acting like you have even an ounce of right to act the way you are right now, when it’s you who made it so fucking clear you want nothing to do with me anymore. Do you enjoy making others suffer? Do you want to see me on my fucking knees begging for your attention? I have enough self-respect to step back and move on with my life when someone so blatantly tells it to my face that I am nothing—”

“But you aren’t!” My tone raised without me meaning to as my heart continued to beat out of my chest so fast my ears started ringing. I felt tears prick at my eyes, but I didn’t want to cry. I didn’t want to victimize myself, I just wanted Mingi to understand I made a mistake, that I knew I did, and that I was trying to fix things. I didn’t want us to part ways, especially not like this, he made me realize this second that I didn’t want to lose him, “You aren’t nothing to me. I said those things because I’m scared. I don’t know how to navigate these feelings—”

“Save it, okay?” I was left gaping as Mingi shook his head, pushing his hands in the pockets of his light denim jeans, “I don’t want to hear whatever sob shit you have to say right now, I’m asking you kindly to leave before I call security and delete my number, like I have deleted yours.”

The silence that settled upon us was deafening and my eyebrows furrowed as a tear rolled down my cheek without warning, my chest rising and falling rapidly as I tried to find my breath. That hurt, it hurt more than anything before, it hurt more than when Yunho left me, broke my heart. Mingi meant so much more to me than Yunho ever did, and I bit my lower lip as Mingi seemed unaffected, expression blank and rather bored. Nothing was making sense anymore. I was scared, but I also felt ready to break free of the chains of the past, I wanted Mingi. And knowing all this, I didn’t want to hold back anymore, I didn’t want to consider my next words anymore. I just wanted to speak my mind freely.

“My ex-boyfriend is Jeong Yunho, your best friend.” Mingi had almost turned away from me, but he froze, head slowly turning back to face me once again, “We dated back in high school, many years ago, when we were still some headless and stupid teenagers. But he was the first boy I’ve ever loved and he fucking broke my heart, shattered into pieces with a bright smile on his lips. He promised me many things, and I was naïve, so I believed it all. And because I did, I ended up hurt beyond fixing and I’ve never trusted a man again. He was my first boyfriend and the center of my universe, yet he never cared enough about me to properly break up with me.

“Yunho talked about you all the time. Everything you liked, everything you hated, you were part of our daily conversations and I always wished to meet you, to see what was so great in you that had Yunho gushing all the time. I was jealous, so jealous that I became bitter. I started hating even the mention of your name, I selfishly wanted Yunho to myself, and you gone from his life. I couldn’t understand what was so great about you and why I wasn’t enough. I knew Yunho didn’t love me, but I wanted him to, so I made myself believe it, believe that I was worth more to him than you’ll ever be. And in the process, I stupidly made myself believe that he’d never leave me, that he was the one for me like he has said so many times before.

“He broke my heart so fucking bad that it took years until I could say his name or even see his face again. I am over him now, have been for a long time, but I can’t help still feel bitter about him. I can’t help but associate you with him at times. He made me defensive and untrusting of men, I couldn’t help but assume you’d be just like Yunho when I first met you, at least when I finally realized who you were. I felt so guilty, I tried to push you away but you wouldn’t fucking give up. You are everything yet nothing like Yunho and that scares me, because I want you, Mingi. But I’m scared you’ll abandon me like Yunho did, that you’ll fill my head with empty and pretty fantasies and then leave me alone with them, tearing my heart apart in the process. I want to open up, but I’m scared. I think, however, with you by my side, I’d be able to do that, to let my walls down.”

The silence that settled upon us, once again, was deafening and I gulped, heart racing and making me feel lightheaded as Mingi’s face had fallen, expression finally not as void as before. He looked shocked, but surprisingly, he didn’t look hurt nor like he would hate me for ever. It made me hopeful for a second, it made me sniff loudly and blink away the insisting tears from my eyes. He gulped and took a deep breath, making me stare in his eyes, hopeful and less scared, as he sighed and rubbed at his chin; a stubble was showing. Now that I come to think of it, he looks rather tired with bags under his eyes, and his platinum hair has a blue hue to it.

“I’m sorry he made you go through so much; I know it wasn’t easy.” Mingi’s tone finally lost the edge it had before, finally it wasn’t laced with so much anger, and it almost made me cry, “I kind of—I knew. Not exactly the whole thing, but I suppose I can say I had a feeling that there was history between you and Yunho. It was too obvious whenever I brought him up that you didn’t like him, at first I was confused, but then I suppose everything just clicked into place. The drawing of his eyes, the sweater you lent me and the fact that you gave it to me in the end—I’ve known since then that it was probably Yunho. I never said anything to him, not like that at least, I wanted you to come to me on your own, when you fully trusted me with the information. And I’m sorry, but he—he was an asshole back in high school, he was insecure and he played with everyone’s feelings, he was quite good at manipulating people around him. He’s mentioned dating you, but very few times, and by the time you had broken up I had all but forgotten about you, I suppose I wasn’t much better compared to him.

“But all of this isn’t my fault in the end, and while I completely understand your reasoning now and why you often acted the way you did, I’m sorry, but I can’t just let go of things and start anew. There’s just—too many things that have happened, emotions that you stirred up in me, and I just can’t do it, I—it’s not even about you and Yunho, I don’t give a fuck about it, it was ages ago and Yunho is a changed man and I know he’s long moved on. And you too, I believe you have, you seemed less bitter lately, but I just can’t. I can’t help but ask again, what do you want, YN?”

At least he wasn’t mad at me, but I did feel ashamed that I made him piece everything together on his own, that I wasn’t capable of telling him the truth myself. I have made mistakes, sure, but Mingi apparently didn’t hate me for them, “I just want to apologize, for everything.”

Mingi nodded and I watched in despair as that cold mask slipped back onto his face, expression void of any emotion once again. It made me want to grab his shoulders and shake them, force him to look deep into my eyes and just see everything I felt for him, “That’s fine, I accept your apology. If that’s all, you can leave—”

“But that’s not all!” I snapped, having had enough of being dismissed by him. I saw the way his jaw twitched, the way his eyebrows furrowed at my defiance, at my reluctance to leave just yet. I was being pathetic and a pain in the ass, but I had to make him understand that I was ready to leave all my fears behind for him, to learn how to be a better person next to him. I wanted to change, and I wanted it to happen with him by my side, with him guiding me and teaching me how to be more like him, and less like the shitty person I was for so long. I longed to be the way I was before meeting Yunho, a lot happier and a lot less broody and hateful of the beautiful things that surrounded me, “Mingi, I cannot stop thinking about you. I spend every waking moment when we’re apart wondering what you’re up to, what’s going through your mind, whether you’re okay or not. And I’ve been drawing you, since the first time I saw you, you’ve captured my attention, you’ve made me curious of who you were the longer we spent time together. I don’t want to be like this anymore, I don’t want to hurt you anymore and shut you out, I want to fix everything. I want to—I just want you, Mingi.”

There was a quiet scoff behind Mingi, but neither one of us reacted to it as our gazes bore into each other, my eyes glinting with yearning and his façade slowly breaking down as he released a shaky breath, “Mingi, I adore you.”

“Get out.” For a second, my body froze as I thought he was addressing me, but then, he whirled around and pointed towards the studio’s still open door, “Get out, now.”

And I just realized that the blonde girl had been witness to everything, and I couldn’t help but blanch in embarrassment as she made to interject, but I guess Mingi’s sharp eyes made her reconsider her choice as she huffed and then stormed out of the studio. My cheeks felt hot and I realized the clothes were making me sweaty, so as Mingi hurried towards the door to close it, I shrugged my jacket off and placed it neatly on the back of the sofa together with my thick scarf. And as I looked up, mouth dry as the door clicked shut and Mingi turned around, it felt like time stopped, like the world stopped moving. But Mingi was moving towards me, in nothing more than three steps he stood in front of me, and before I could even as much as try to reason with him or plead more to be forgiven, warm fingers dug into my cheeks and the wind was knocked from my lungs as his plush warm lips slammed against mine, making me gasp as my eyes remained wide open.

『Filthy impetuous soul

I wanna give it to you』

I thought he wouldn’t want anything to do with me, I thought he’d tell me that he needed time to forgive me completely and for us to work things out. But I couldn’t help shudder and feel ecstatic as I grabbed the collar of his shirt and cardigan, my eyes falling shut, as I pulled him closer to my body, savoring the kiss as if it was our first. But it wasn’t anything like that one, it wasn’t soft nor careful nor slow, it was hurried and desperate as Mingi pushed me backward, pressing me against the wall, right between the small space between the sofa and the desk. My arms circled his neck as he grabbed my nape with one big hand and pressed his other into the small of my back, making it arch as my fingers tangled into his soft hair, not pulling, just feeling the need to hold onto something, to keep myself grounded.

And much like the first time, our lips seemed to fit perfectly, and I tried not to keen when he sucked my bottom lip between his teeth, nibbling on the soft flesh, and I tried not to turn into a puddle when he hummed lowly against my lips as my fingers flexed in his hair. Perhaps I kissed him a bit harder and more aggressively as our pace quickened, my hand holding the side of his neck as Mingi pressed his body into mine until it felt like he was trying to forbid me even of the idea of escaping from his clutches, and I had no fucking intention of going anywhere, because in his arms I felt content and safe, and perhaps a bit too hot as goosebumps covered my arms the longer our lips moved hungrily against each other. And when I cupped his cheeks and perhaps held onto them a bit too firmly, his lips parted, and I ignored my lungs screaming for air as my tongue slipped past his parted mouth. I didn’t expect him to moan as our tongues tangled together, all wet and perhaps a little disgusting, but neither one of us cared about that.

I tried to stand on my tip toes for better access as Mingi’s ring clad fingers were suddenly running through my hair and tilting my head back, making my skin tingle where he held my hip firmly. I had been kissed by other people before, but neither felt like with Mingi, neither made me crave more and more and more. But our lungs could only go on so long without air, and I would’ve been embarrassed for the loud gasp I let out when we finally parted, if it wasn’t for Mingi diving straight for my neck and finding the sweet spot that made me putty in his arms. And I tried to ignore his deep grunts as my fingers got tangled in his platinum blonde strands as he pressed open mouthed and wet kisses against my neck, his arms around my hips pulling me into an embrace that had my pulse showing through the skin of my neck. My lips were tingling and my lungs actually hurt, but I couldn’t care less when Mingi finally pulled back and blinked his dark eyes open, pupils dilated and lips so swollen he almost made me chase after them once again.

『Oh, just to see what you'd do

'Cause I'm so drunk on you』

“What’s in the thermos?” His voice was raspier than usual, and it made me bite my bottom lip as my eyes searched his face, his falling on my lips instead.

“Hot chocolate, for peace making.” I answered, sounding a lot more breathless than I actually felt, and Mingi chuckled, the sound deep in his throat. I let my arms fall from his shoulders and instead circled them around his torso, trying to fight off the smile from my lips. Mingi didn’t look angry nor dismissive anymore, but I knew I wasn’t actually forgiven just yet. And that was only fair.

“This is peacemaking, not the hot chocolate.” And there it was, the mischievous glint in his eyes and the smug smirk on his lips as he squeezed my hips once and lowered his face until our lips brushed together, “Although I do appreciate the hot chocolate too.”

“Good, my mom was rather excited when she told me to give it to you.” I pressed a chaste kiss against Mingi’s lips before he could try and say anything, and he chuckled when I pulled away, eyes creasing and crooked front teeth showing.

“What are we now?” His voice was a mere whisper, not insecure nor scared, just wondering, “What do you want?”

I gulped, but decided to be honest. No more hiding my feelings and thoughts from him, “I don’t know just yet, and that’s why I need you to take the lead, but this—I want more of this, of you.”

“Good,” Mingi hummed, lips pursed as he kissed my cheek once before slowly releasing me from his warm embrace, “because I’ve been wanting more of you for fucking ages, doll.”

I couldn’t help but chuckle as suddenly I felt embarrassed and perhaps a little shy, but Mingi seemed to be unphased as he grabbed my tote bag and looked through it because his clothes were in it, “You can keep these, they looked better on you anyway. But you better not give them to Yunho if he ever happens to go over to your house—”

“Mingi.” I snapped mortified and pushed his arm as he dropped the tote bag and burst out laughing, giving me a cheeky smile.

“Want to hear the rest of the song I made for you?”

“For me?”

“Yeah, doll, for you.”

            By the time I managed to get home I might as well been on cloud nine and in so much ecstasy that one would think I was on drugs. Which, kind of felt like it after the day I have had—not that I’ve ever done any drugs. I failed to notice my mother’s silhouette in the window of our kitchen when I got out of Mingi’s car and, of course, that meant she saw him get out of his old Honda Prelude and jog after me to kiss me hard and leave me dizzy before he left. And all of that, of course, meant that by the time I unlocked the front door and stepped inside, my mother was leaning against the archway of the kitchen with the widest smirk I’ve ever seen on her face.

“So, did you have sex?”

My eyes widened in mortification and I struggled to step out of my boots and shrug off my jacket, “Mom!”

“So, you did, huh.” It wasn’t even a question, and suddenly running after Mingi’s car sounded a lot better than standing in front of my mother as she bit her bottom lip, giving me a wink.

“We didn’t!” I exclaimed, cheeks flushed a deep red as I cradled the tote bag to my chest, “He needs to take me out on a date first—many dates, actually.”

“Well, he better hurry up then cuz you’re glowing and you’re happy.” I froze at my mother’s words as she looked at me with a serene expression on her face, lips pulled into a small smile, forgetting all about her previous teasing, “He’s good for you, too good. I haven’t seen you so relaxed and happy since—since highschool.”

Since Yunho broke up with me.

“I know, and I will make sure I never hurt him again.” I told my mom and she hummed, looking down at her wristwatch.

“You missed lunch, by the way, so you’ll eat chicken tenders—”

“Again?!”

“Again, exactly. Go wash up before dinner.”

And I was out of her sight in no time, with a newfound rush in my system, skin tingling as I realized I craved to hold my pencil and my sketchbook in my hands. I couldn’t remember the last time I drew something for me and not because it was an assignment. And if hours later the sketch looked a lot like a familiar platinum blonde haired man with sharp eyes and a tall nose wearing blue jeans, a white t-shirt and a beige cardigan over it, accessories many and nails painted black, then I wouldn’t even deny it anymore. Perhaps he would love seeing my drawings. Perhaps I should finally show him.

Mings 🖤: date on wednesday? Me: but im paying this time Mings 🖤: so when we went to the pottery coffee shop it was a date wasnt it, doll Me: maybe it was maybe it wasnt Mings 🖤: no maybes this time

『Oh, but you know me too well

Oh, but you know me too well, well』

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[megumi-fm]

this week on megumi.fm ▸ coding and coffeeshops

📋 Tasks

💻 Internship ↳ lab meet!!! got to learn about the other projects in the lab ↳ got work from home approved!! ↳ optimize protein seq code // account for missing residues ✅ ↳ add on a binding site identifier function for code using 4.5A distance threshold ✅ ↳ optimize binding site code // reducing time complexity for large PDB file inputs ✅ ↳ download and extract alphafold human protein repository and analyze pdb file formats ↳ set up progress tracker and upload code on colab ✅ 🎓 Uni ↳ Final Project: update images quality according to changes mentioned ✅ ↳ renew uni email for extra credit classes ✅ ↳ extra credit classes started this week! 🩺Radiomics Projects ↳ call with teammates to discuss next steps ✅ 📧 Application-related ↳ finished masters application form for 1/1 Uni (waiting on my referee reports) ✅ ↳ finalize referee report from my profs ✅

📅 Daily-s

🛌 consistent sleep [7/7] 💧 good water intake [5/7] 👟 exercise [5/7]

Fun Stuff this week

🍻 met up with my bestie @muakrrr <3 it was a stressful tuesday so meeting him for lunch was super comforting! he bought this cute purple drink and I got myself some ginger ale and the waiter served us the wrong drinks (gender and expectations something something) and it was amusing to watch them get confused when we corrected them 🎂 mom's b'day this week!! went out for dinner with her!! 🛒 went shopping with relatives who I haven't seen in years. bought myself a book! (rip my bookshelf) ☕ went out for coffee and dinner with my girlies (the same besties who I exchanged mugs with). we're trying to spend as much time together as possible before we leave to different countries for our masters 🎮 continuing the beginner's guide 📺 ongoing: Marry my Husband, Cherry Magic Th, Last Twilight 📺 binged: KinnPorsche The Series

📻 This week's soundtrack

Love Wins All by IU (been crying over this music video for days now. it's beautiful) KinnPorsche theme by Slot Machine: Kinn's theme [aka Phiang Waichai; TH] | Porche's theme [aka Free Fall; Eng] (first of all this is one of the catchiest theme songs to exist second only to SPECIALZ aka the JJK s2 op i'm also particularly losing my mind over how the two themes are love letters to the main characters from each other... the narrative parallels of it all are driving me insane sldkhlaksjkshs) Dum Dum by Jeff Satur + the Live Unchained version where his vocals are heavenly (maybe im so drawn to this song because the chorus is similar to the melodic motifs of the KPTS themes/soundtrack, either way, the show introduced me to him and god. I've been voraciously consuming his discography.) Ghost by Jeff Satur (on repeat all week. thoroughly obsessed with this song- the lyricism, his voice, the storyline in the MV, his acting, everything. wow. truly.)

---

[Jan 22 to 28 ; week 4/52 || I. love. my. internship. like. I have been having the most fun time problem solving and troubleshooting. it's also super satisfying to see the outcome of my code. it's been a while since I used python (I've been coding on C) so I forget that python has a lot of inbuilt functions that would do the same tasks I inadvertently entrust my nested loops with, and finding out about them is always so joyous (although it means I have to scrap off several chunks of code). i am a bit annoyed though, because the other intern isn't really doing any work that we're entrusted with so I'm having to carry the team and it's taking me too much time. but oh well. I've suggested we split tasks from next week, hopefully that'll make things better.

I've also been procrastinating a lot when it comes to my masters applications and it really hit me this week when I had to run to uni several times to get things approved and completed. Now that I'll get to work from home I need to set up a proper schedule to get application work completed wayy in advance. also need to resume my GRE prep from next week.]

[runwithwolvcs]

You Know I'm No Good - 46

A/N: I'M BACK!

Between crying babies and chatty seat neighbours, the flight was a long one. As she crossed through a pair of sliding doors and out into the kiss and ride area, she instantly spotted the raven haired women that made it all worth it.

"Hi, mommy," Tallulah said as she wrapped her mom up in a tight bear hug, forgetting all about her bags. 

"Oh, Lula," Winona grabbed her cheeks, taking her in, in person for the first time in five months, “You look so grown up,"

“We facetimed almost every day," Tallulah said teasingly. Though she understood what she meant. Her style had completely changed since arriving in New York. Long gone were the baggy, oversized clothes that she wore. Adopting a more feminine, soft aesthetic. Courtesy of her roommate Nell, who reminded her almost everyday of her first week in New York, that she was not in La Push anymore. She could dress to impress. Especially for the galleriest who came to look at all of their work, which seemed to be weekly.

Most of her wardrobe were cable knit sweaters she had thrifted, the only thing that compared to the warmth of her imprint. That thought alone struck a cord in her chest, a never-ending pit of longing for a man she had no spoken to since the fall break.

“I know," Her mother smiled, "you just.. im so proud of you." She said as she took a step back, the proudest smile Tallulah had ever seen growing on her face, "look at you, my little artist,“ 

Tallulah groaned, “is it a goal to make me cry today?”

"shush,”Winona jokingly said as she picked up one of her bags, light packing was not an option when Washington weather was so unpredictable "no crying, I made ginger snaps,"

"fuck, yes." Tallulah moaned in excitement. The first sign of Christmas in their household was the smell of ginger snaps, a generational recipe. 

“I dropped some off to Paul this morning,”

“Mom,” Tallulah frowned, though she understood why they had kept in contact despite the endless phone calls she had made to her mother in tears over him. He was never going to be gone for good.

"he’s going to know you’re back," Winona tutted, ushering her daughter into her car,”  if he shows up, what do you want me to tell him?"

Tallulah rolled her eyes before grumbling, “to go fuck himself,"

"hm,”Her mother hummed before asking the question sh had been dreading most of all. The question that almost kept her from getting on the plane in the first place,   "did you tell him?"

"no." Tallulah mumbled, bringing her knees up to her chest as she looked out the window to see the cityscape she loved so much. Seattle still had her heart it always will, she feared,

After a brief moment of silence, her mom voiced her opinion, “you should have,"

"it wouldn’t have made a difference, mom,” Tallulah snapped in frustration. She didn’t get it. This wasn’t some boy she could move on from. It was Paul, her entire world. He left her scared and alone, something he promised to never do. Avoiding him for a couple of months won’t kill him, but she figured it would show him how much he screwed up. Though, she didn’t think it would take this long for him to let her stew in her anger.

"lets get something to eat," W”inn hanged the subject, noticing her change in mood, “are you hungry?"

"i ate on the plane." She fibbed. A white little lie. A mini bag of pretzels was enough to quell her queasy stomach, anything more than that would just come right back up.

Noticing her moms worried look, she gave her a reassuring smile, "I’m fine, mom. i can handle this without flying off the rails,"

"i never said--"

"thats what everyone wants." Tallulah cut her off, “to tell me I’m still a child who doesn’t have her shit together and having some older boyfriend will fix that."

"I’ve never wanted that." Winona reinforced, something she had told her daughter many times over the phobe,  "i just want you to be safe and happy."

"i am," Tallulah promised. 

With a nod, her mother thankfully switched the subject again. One she was actually ready to talk about, “okay, tell me more about this gallery spot,"

[crimson0lake]

Meanwhile, somewhere in Spain

—what about this dress?

—Still too revealing

A huff left the girl's lips before her hands let go of the fabric of dress and crossed her arms with a small pout of a child

—That's the point of it!

—Then the lingerie side might be a better option.

—HEY!

She sigh at man's indifference before turning back to the section

—Mom said there would be a meeting again, if I don't wear something in her preferences, she might throw another tantrum. I don't feel like seeing her crying today.

The man follow her right behind with an umbrella, trying to keep her moving figure under the shadow it creates.

—you are quieter then usual Aki.

—Am I? Didn't realised it.

She turn to look up at him with a curious look, having the innocence of a child lingering in her eyes as she spokes in a now more calmer and softer tone.

—If you were worried, why didn't you go with my brothers? Her words make him sigh and look down at her

—Im sure they can look after themselves, and my duty is to protect you three but especially you, it was only fair to let them go.

—You know what I'm talking about, Aki. You are worried about that place... Didn't know a place can scare the dangerous weapon of Port that much The man paused yet his stern look never moving as he sigh after moments later before mum lingerie in a quiet tone, more quieter than he expected from even himself

—I'm not scared, Mi corazón. Just... The nightmares and amnesia makes it difficult to stay calm since they go there, thinking there's another.. me there, makes me feel weird. And the possibility he might be there as well..

—Im pretty sure he won't find them there before the ability users, he probably be the only one in danger soon. And you know my brother, he probably already burn down several things since the plane landed.

—Your calmness sometimes makes me questions things.

— I feel the same about your stern expression, Aki.

.

.

.

—Am I stern?

—Very much. Ooo, Hey let's look at that shop too!

____________________________________________________________________

H—The main question here is why do you still have examples of mom with you?

A— last time I learned about another child of mom's, I bribe the doctor and got some examples, why so surprised?

Haruto take a deep breath before looking down and rubbing his temples

H—Should have expected..

C—so.. there is more?

A—nope, he was dead.

Andres' words make Haruto turn his face to him with a now stern look that had hidden anger and irritation lingering behind it.

H— What did I say to you just half an hour ago?

It was just been two hours since the DNA test come, two hours since the ginger learned about he was never been his parents' real son, two hours since he was informed he was from completely different mother and father. Just that two hours were enough to turn his entire life upside down.

Two hours since he learned the organisation he gave his every pits of loyalty, was the first thing hide his siblings, first place that build his false reality and keep his real past away. He didn't even know what to do, let alone return and look everything in the same way. Even how much he wanted to refuse and deny, Andres had every proof and evidence in hand, leaving no room for his self denial.

He was a son of a different man, different man other than the one he called father. He was a son of a completely different woman, a woman he never even heard in his life. It took Haruto half an hour to calm him down and shut Andres' mouth before he let out every single false thing in Chuuya's life since now.

The fact this boy had more knowledge about his own life than himself was unsettling and upsetting for him.

And yet again, Haruto was the first one to stand up and get some newly made tea in kitchen, the first try to soften the atmosphere in the room, which was replied with Andres leaving the room.

H—Tea?

Haruto mumbled as he set two cups of tea on the coffee table.

C— Is he always like this?

The ginger asked as he still looks at the door with uncertain eyes before turning them to Haruto who sits across the sofa from him, his tone was unsure and quiet, like he wasn't sure how to feel in this very moment.

H— Andres.. Well, he isn't very open to changes. First was mom's party, then coming here, and the last drop was another sibling, it was all bottled up since now. It was just a unfortunate moment that he snapped. He'll get used to it.

C—How are you so sure about it?

H—simple, he had reacted the same way as you when we find out about our dead brother for the first time...

Haruto paused himself and look down before turning go see Chuuya waiting him to continue. He sigh before continue calmly with a lingering nostalgia in his voice

H—I was around 18 and the twins were around 13-14.. He wasn't dead or unhealthy when we find out... But we were too young, Andres was already in so much pressure of mom, and I was just started to work. And Luna.. she was under more pressure of both parents, she didn't even had time spared to talk with us..

He paused before looking down again, with a sad smile in his face he added with a guilty chuckle.

H—we weren't sure how to react so.. we try to forget about it for a while, at least till the pressure on us lighten or at least one of our parents got a free time... He drowned next week.

Ginger's eyes widen before he turn to look in front him with a sad and pity on his face

C—sorry...

Haruto turn to him before sighing and chuckling, he lend a light playful punch to Chuuya's shoulder before smiling calmly

H—dont be, don't think we are sad. At least he is in a better place. But as you see, Andres probably just doesn't like the shocked and questioning look on your face, he is just like a baby when him and his sister are separated!

The ginger chuckled before rolling his eyes

C—there's no doubt of it.

The both chuckled before Haruto sigh and look outside

H—mind if you stay here for a while? Don't want to worry for another kid running around while Andres gives me heart attacks every hour, or at least be around till you made up on your mind

Chuuya look up to Black haired man before sighing, his lips curling upwards slightly

C—I'd like to. A break doesn't sounds bad... Haruto, so you have.. any information about my real parents?

Haruto turn to him before smiling in a brotherly energy and nod

H—I can tell you everything about your mother, or everything I know. But about the father.. maybe Luna knows some

[raymencranpin17]

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내길로와 #아무로나미에 #박유천 #더킹2017 #힐러리더프 #최원�� #인디락 #カムマイウェイ #조인성 #소지섭 Hate Philipines Philipino Vietnamese Richard Luga

[raymenpin61]

Raymen pin come home to ewa beach better backing on home to Ewa beach his Mom Ma Home BTS DO A 5 on tell Western Ribbon Necktie soon always back home soon okay Yes Park Yoochun Hilary duff 2017 Trandy Crewmen Kirby Crying Cay Ratellite home soon okay Yes Jo in sung his again okay Come Clean Logan Lerman Dylan Everett PC over home jang eui soo memory okay Yes Wincestiel Laptop for Christmas back again okay Yes Mom Dad Joseph Lucas okay Yes Samk Dake Castrie Kintaro akiyama Hide Away Boa Kirby trandy crewmen soon okay Yes No hug okay chill out okay Danny Lim and Evan Ghang Keonjik Lee to Peachmilky and Kalo Hentrendy Will Sonny and Paul Christopher Sean Chandler Massey and Freddie SMith not Guy Wilson again okay Gay Love Crying Drama Devin Freeman Kevin Norman The Legendary Lackey GTA 5 SA Kirby Cran Miani Jo jung Suk Lee Hyun Woo Jann Lee AKira Jacky Rig Western white okay Kang Chan Jae Woo #RaymenPin #LyndaTrangDai #ReyPin #KirbyCran #MarieRose #Leifang #DOAkokoro #Jannlee #DOArig #JackyDOA #DOaAKira Lynda Trang dai Take it easy okay Christmas #AdamandJack #Aska #RaymenPinbeStrong #CastielHealed #YoungCastiel #Dylaneverett #LoganLerman #Hilaryduff2004 #ParkYoochun #Wincestiel #Westernribbonnecktie #jojungsuk #thumpsdownsamjaredleftside #GabrielxSam #Kintaroakiyama #cayratellite #RemoveTattoooff #RaymenPin #Destiel #Jangeuisoo #Joinsung #CastielandDean #DeanCastiel #RaymenPinhome #Castiel #Kanggook #Lyndatrangdai16 #CastielComeback #Leifang #UnFradednoHugSamDeanCastiel Jo in sung Miyako Edit Waitress Heart Morning Noon evening Raceruse Achayr Asian Western Gay Crying Jung Woo sung Vietnamese Double K O Hair Mod Pete Buttigieg Ginger Boy Young Gay Boyfriend Relationship anymore Chang Song Eui Lee Sang Woo Lee Hyun Woo High Society Korean vs Thai Tin and Pete Mean Saint M34nS41nt Mean x Saint Ae Whore Person Hate him SO Ji Sub Park Ki Woong Nekosen Salvation aaron shawn Ashmore Angel Song Seung-heon Gary Sinise Nichalos Cage Harvey Mike Guardianship danielxmiller Eric Angelo Vivi Nell aria usual Cory Monteith taylor kitsch Craymen Pin Slow Down Little Buddy 김현우 Bae Sung Woo Hat

DOA Male Xtreme English Korean Khmer Bobby Raecren Awake Early soon Call Your Mother Later on okay Raymen Pin Cran Meta Knight #DOA22hu34dGrandit #DOA56Crackit Just Relax Massage stay easy okay family home hawaii okay

#thumpsdownsamjaredleftsidearmcrossed No Armcrossed Left and Standing Tray to not at left not Red and Blue okay #NoBlueNecktieSamandNoRedNecktieDean Danny Lim Evan Ghang Keonjik Lee Crady Rang Roof Mech Ugly eek With that Crut Face Make him or her Brownie Brustin in Makeover Kyosuke Kagami

Sophie Monk Namie Amuro Peachmilky Remastered Hilary Duff Clark x Bruce Return Begin Superbat Superman Batman always Sad Come still home come home milky way River Flows in you SBS MBC KBS TVN JTBS JBTS Phi Viet Volume 11 JTBC I Get I get i get Asshalfbraidwipe 蘇楷盛 ដា រ៉ូ សំណាង បឹងព្រីង ប្រុស ពៅ 더킹2017 코미웨이

미웨이 raymen crying all day back his mom home no more Police Whore Pussy idiot no good okay Yes Hate them Swearing me anymore im gay to Joe Lucas and Uncle Waene Vance FT always a lot okay Yes always know its raymen always a lot okay Bobby Raecren Family heart memory coming back to family guardian home soon okay Yes Hate Girls anymore Jannlee rig akira jacky bayman leon gay Love Diego and Kazuya always a lot okay yes Come My Way ewa beach home 101 apartment home soon okay Ma danny bro Hp laptop my information always its mine okay Get a Grip Whore Neija Nurse Nani idiot asshole okay Ma I Like Joe and uncle waene they wanna hang out with raymen at home and khmer people at up the hill okay Yes Did not Hurt my granson young teen raymen boy you fucking asshole i said cut that fuck out you asswipe okay Achimeideh How Come Family and friends Try Raymen Pin Was Crying Wanna go Stay Home to his Family Mom and Dad Home back over soon Need Him Wanna overcome back to Ewa Beach back always Aww Poor Raymen Jenna She Miss Raymen all the time The Whole Day Month Years 5 ago 5 years ago okay😭 Poor Raymen Where Are you!. Raymen you wanna come home hurry please raymen 2017 #RaymenPin #CayRatellite #Joinsung #Parkyoochun #Sojisub #Westernribbonnecktie #Leehyunwoo #TheKing2017 #CalenderIndiehome #vivinellaria #Ewabeach101 #Raymenpinbluewhiteblad2017Mod #Jannleeandrig #akiraandjacky #GTA5Castiel is a Crut Person not allowed at no more again to with be friend okay Love to Raymen Pin Home #December312017 Roof Mech All get Enon Rainbow Resort Im 22 and From 12/31/2017 12/24/2017 Headdress Ribbon Crown First Crut 조인성 소지섭 박유천 #소피몽크 #린다트랑다이 #내길로와 #아무로나미에 #박유천 #더킹2017 #힐러리더프 #최원영 #인디락 #カムマイウェイ #조인성 #소지섭 Hate Philipines Philipino  Vietnamese Richard Luga Sachen Carfend Come home ewa beach apartment Home 101 91-1671 My Idea My deal me always 12.24.2017 Miani France DOA5lr Hit anywhere cheats Angelic 12.31.2017 22 years old Granson Family Guardian Safe home HP Laptop Red white Release Raymen Bobby Raecren Young teen

[liquid-queer]

Conversations with my best friend, and they always end up with me threatening canibalism-

Prime example being just twenty minutes ago:

Me at 11 something pm last night: Once I grow out my hair, I’m gonna dye it ginger and cosplay Chuuya.

Her this morning at six thirty something: NO

Me: BABHAHABAHSHA LMAO

Her: I WAS GINGER ONCE

Me: LMAO YOUR REACTION-

Her: DONT DO IT

Me: I WANNA DO IT FOR SPITE NOW LMFAO

Her: KYS /j

Me: IM ACTUALLY CRYING IM LAUGHING SO HARD

Her: U SCARED ME BITCH😭😭

Me: LMAOOO

Me: i will eat ur spleen:3 /j

Her: I’d like to keep my spleen

Me: Nah

Her: go kys /j

Me: Nah

*proceeds to elaborately threaten to call my mom and murder me*

Best friends am I right- :,D

[gory-roryy]

idk how to start this im very awkward so cut me some slack 💔

@theatrekidenergy

but rtc is about 6 teenages in a choir, “st cassian chamber choir” and their names are noel, mischa, constance, ricky, ocean, and one unknown girl known as “jane doe” due to her not having a head (but is later discovered to be penny lamb (from legoland i believe))

“rory wtf do you mean she doesnt have a head” WELLLL heres why, the choir goes on a roller coaster called the cyclone, and on the loop dee loop the carts front axel breaks, causing it to derail and kill the choir (and not only kill penny, but also causing her head to get chopped clean off.) the choir is brought to a warehouse with “the amazing karnak,” one of those fortune teller machines. the choir preforms a song, “fall fair suite (or the uranium suite, depends on the cast)” and after some explanation on whats going on he promises that one of the choir members will get brought back to life by unanimous vote after each member sings about their dreams.

“whoever wants to win it the most, will redeem the loser, in order to complete the whole,” is what karnak told the choir. this makes sense at the end of the musical.

ocean claims that the situation cannot get any weirder, and thats when karnak introduces the “mystery contestant,” jane doe. her head is replaced with a doll’s head, that has curly-ish, raggedy blonde hair and empty black eyes. (i adore jane sm)

from this point on its mostly ocean yapping, and then some of the ginger’s story being told. she grew up in a household of stoners and decided to break the stereotype and be a perfect, straight a student (sorry for not much about ocean i dont like her too much so i dont have as much info)

she then goes on to preform her song “what the world needs,” offending the choir with some of the lyrics. she told constance, her best friend, that her biggest accomplishment would be to become an “organ doner,” and other bad things to the other choir members. she starts to explain, going into song again, beginning to sing a shitty song called “i love you guys” before getting interrupted by noel, the zest fest of the choir.

he shouts “SWEET JESUS CHRIST ON BIKE,” at ocean, and then more of his story was revealed. he was very into tragedy and french cinema, his implied favorite movie being “the blue angel.” he tried to go as the movie’s character “lola lola” multiple times, but always got too scared to. his mom often told him to water himself down. he worked at taco bell, saving up money to go to france. he has an oc, monique gibeau, who is a french hooker and an opium addict who dies of typhoid flu.

moniques tragic story is told through his song, “noel’s lament,” which consists of noel getting all dolled up in what is pretty much drag. its a black dress, beat up tights, and a black wig. he kisses mischa during his song.

once his song is finished, mischa hypes noel up, calling his preformance “dope.” constance and ocean were absolutely dazed (bc they kissed), causing mischa to yell something along the lines of “just because im all gangsta and shit doesn’t automatically mean im homophobe” in broken english.

mischa’s story is alot sadder than the others, in my opinion. mischa grew up in ukraine, but his mother was slowly dying due to uranium poisoning. in hopes to protect her son, she forged a birth certificate for him, claiming he was 2 years old. its implied that his mom dies. he was sent to a family in uranium, canada, and the family was surprised to see their 2 y/o was a 18 year old who smelled of alcohol. he tried to be affectionate towards his new mother, like how he was taught, but the mom would cry whenever she even saw mischa. the father would shoo him away, yelling and potentially hitting him. he was forced to live in the basement, and they left food at the top of the stairs for him. this caused mischa to change, and he drank more than before and smoked, becoming the stereotypical, unsupervised “gansgster.” he was seen as aggressive, but deep down he was just damaged and scared. he claims to only feel rage and passion, and has (had) an online “fiance,” (gf) talia. talia lives in ukraine, and mischa wants to go back to ukraine to meet her. mischa is also multilingual, speaking 4-5 languages! throughout the musical, mischa’s vulnerability shows more as he gets closer with noel.

he proceeds to rant about how much he hates canada, and then raps a angry, shitty and stereotypical rap song about girls and money and drugs. its called “this song is awesome,” and its really fucking funny lmfao

though, the angry theme fades into passion, and mischa sings a song called “talia,” a very emotional and genuinely adorable song about his girlfriend. the acting in these scene is so beautiful aughh. he sings ukrainian throughout the song which i lovevevevwve!!! the song then fades into bad rap again, representing his rage about not being able to meet talia.

mischa then has a small meltdown, noel presenting the cliche “love conquers all,” which makes mischa start to cry and hug noel, calling him a “man of words.” noel comforts him for a bit.

its then ricky’s turn to preform. in life, ricky was physically disabled and mute, his family speaking in sign language. however, in the afterlife, he can move and speak just fine. his family had 14 cats, causing him to develop a hyperfixation on catgirls. he also likes space.

his song, “space age bachelor man,” is a bit weird compared to the others, talking about how he helped save the zolarian race by.. breeding with the catgirl space creatures. otherwise, the song shows ricky’s creativity. its about the planet zolar, a world he made in his stories. theres catgirl aliens and other cool shit, its pretty interesting when you actually think abt it and pay attention to the lyrics tbh. but its also kind of sad that ricky made this story, as it implies that because ricky was ignore so much in his life, he made his own world that revolves around him, all of his character’s attention being on him.

constance claims she is “so happy right now, she can never come down,” but then jane doe claims that its her turn to preform. constance is disappointed, as it is very obvious she is freaked out by jane.

jane doe’s body was found after the accident, but her head was not. no parents came, and the choir conductor died of a heart attack 2 hours after the accident, so nobody could verify who jane was. everyone knew everyone in their small town, but for some reason, not her. so, jane doe.

she preforms “the ballad of jane doe,” which is a fucking amazing song. the detail in the lyrics is amazing, and THE FUCKING ACTING??! god it’s perfect in every way. when jane is finished preforming, the choir sings happy birthday to her. constance faces her fears and hands jane a cupcake. the song is called “the new birthday song,” and the choir made it specifically for jane.

jane asks ricky, “how do we know its my birthday?” and ricky answers by saying “how do we know its not your birthday??” ricky gifts jane the name “savannah,” and jane requests that savannah has the greenest eyes. ricky confirms that she can.

“Savannah.. with the greenest eyes,” was janes response. i adore this scene, i adore how sweet and gentle ricky was, i adore how relieved jane seemed. its so cute.

meanwhile, noel and mischa are sitting together. mischa offers noel some vodka, and the two chitchat as they drink. mischa calls noel tragic, and noel claims its the “nicest thing anyones ever said to him.” he leans on mischa and smiles.

while this was going on, constance and ocean were talking. ocean then yelled at constance, and constance finally snaps, punching ocean in the boob and walking away.

connie has glasses and purple pigtails, but the rest of her hair is black. she talks about how she felt during her death, how her life was, how much she loves everything, and how she lost her virginity right before her death in a nasty ass bathroom stall. constance was “the nicest girl in town.” thats all she was known for, and it upset her greatly throughout her life.

she then preforms “sugar cloud,” a song about how shes now happy and accepts her death. ocean apologizes, etc etc.

then its time to decide who gets brought back to life. but, instead of a unanimous vote, its all up to ocean. im not gonna spoil who gets brought back to life, but i implied it around the beginning!

“whoever wants to win it the most, will redeem the loser, in order to complete the whole.” ocean wants to win it the most, but she redeemed the loser, bringing her back to life.

the final song, “its not a game/its just a ride,” is the choir accepting their death and messing around with each other.

YAAAAY I DID ITTTTT!!!!!! THIS WAS FUN TO WRITE (can u tell i love mischa?!?) lmk if you have questions!!! i also have headcanons i can give u

If anyone who knows an obscene amount about Ride the Cyclone can explain the lore and characters to me (And what they look like) I would be so excited, please I’m begging you I want to learn about it and I don’t care how long the info dump is I will read every word of it 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

[marastriker]

hi im working on my own caboose family hcs post but id love to hear your thoughts about these bastard boys :)

Absolutely!

All cabeese are kind of mischievous little troublemakers in their own special ways, that goes without saying! But let's get into the family dynamics here 😈

OLC CB - AV, as we like to call him - is obviously the Dad. He's had his hay days, but he kinda just doesn't let much bother him now, even if the kids are in their prime of being chaotic. Just the tired, Oh CB is dragging a raccoon through the house cause he wants to adopt it? Yeah alright, I'll talk to him.....Buddy, wtf?

CB is THE prankster. He will come up with the weirdest shit to get you with - like genius level pranks. How did he even THINK of that? He's just a little gremlin boy but will also cry if he accidently drops his ice cream because he's still a baby (I also hc him as the younger sibling, so obviously he's going to get a pass on all this.)

BV is the swinde-ly one, he can always talk anyone into doing whatever he wants. This could go from giving a sob story to a fast food worker to get a free meal or charming an old lady out of her precious jewels. He also has the superior slight of hand. Older sibling, is responsible for handling the Ceeb once he's deemed "responsible enough" - which is term used very loosely (though, he is more responsible than CB, for sure)

And I have my OC as their Mom, Chessie, a yellow caboose with long, curly ginger hair. She's....a riot. Very loud and overbearing, but genuinely sweet - as long as you don't cross her. One Look, you know, the Mom Look, can get CB and BV to behave just cause they know the consequences if they don't.

and that is my lovely cabeese family <3

[organic-guacamole]

episode 209 spoilers below

I'm so late today but here it is

I love EJ, he's finally learning to be happy. I'm so proud.

Ms Jenn = every boomer during zoom calls, like jeez yes we can hear you stop shouting at me.

LOVE THE SUBTLE JOKE ABOUT QUARANTINE "these dark times" "you mean spring break?"

ah yes, remember when we thought covid was just gonna give us a longer spring break? good times

SEBLOS

damn the passive aggressiveness from Carlos and the absolutely over it tone from seb✋

CASWELL COUSINS!!!!! THEY'RE THE BEST!!!!

we needed more if this kind of goofiness for the first part of season 2 that only such an iconic duo can provide.

old old movies-

is it even that old, or is Nini being a gen alpha rn-

i choose to imagine EJ being scared of the movie and hiding in Ashlyn's shoulder while she keeps a straight face and then EJ pretending to be tough afterwards

aww redlyn are soulmates.... yknow, if gingers had souls

(please ignore me)

y'all saw how EJ's face *lit up* when Gina logged on? how dare you tell me he doesn't like her

ofc she's no damsel in distress, she's Gina porter, she's amazing.

so do we think she'd be the type to just glare at suspicious people? or bark at them

do they not know that Rini broke up? or is Ms Jenn just wanting Nini to suffer through her heartbreak to make her a better actress....

speaking of, why is Nini in the call? she's not in the show anymore. Unless she is, even after the rose and the song got cut, which would be so unfair to all those that auditioned properly before she even came back but whatever, she's the main character I get it 🙄

big red is a hero honestly, Nini better thank him for changing the subject like that

I can't-

i won't work you over the break-

this woman would 100% work her kids 24/7 if it was legal and idk how to feel about it.

YES GINA USE THAT CHARM

QUEEN

FRENCH QUEEN

SHE LEARNT FROM THE BEST (antoine obvi)

smh the airport lady, eavesdropping on Gina's call.

The way she was so happy to answer EJ's call, "eej"

I love them your honour.

EJ WITH PAINTED NAILS YES PLEASE

great now we need to see Gina, Ashlyn and EJ having a complete spa day and EJ getting really into it and Gina and Ashlyn take pictures of him when he's laying down in a robe with a mask and cucumbers on his eyes.

finally we get to see Gina's side of portwell

the way she considered it as flirting, this is the sign she asked for in episode 6 come onnnnn

no is Asher/jack really doing tiktok dances in an airport-

Ricky is me. I am burrito.

oh Lynne, sweetie, I'm sorry but the blonde hair is not it

is that even the same lady or-

THE BEAN

THE CHICAGO BEAN

THE BIG OLD METAL BEAN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CITY 😭

jetlag is my go to excuse for anything... I haven't travelled in 2 years.

"welcome to the Lynne and Mike gossip show. where we talk about our depressed son that we both neglect in certain ways! And now a word from our sponsor, Nord VPN..."

SO MANY CANDLES

WHAT DEMON IS LYNNE TRYING TO SUMMON IN HIS ROOM-

is Nina becoming social media obsessed EJ from season 1? AND SHE LIED ABOUT HAVING SONGS TOO PLEASE WHY ARW THEY RECYCLING THE SAME PLOT-

Gina smiling at the picture of her family on Instagram makes me so happy, idek why.

EJ's nails are so pretty, we needed to see it more (unless he had it on for the rest of the episode and I just.... didn't notice🧍🏽‍♀️)

oh not the tiktok kid✋

yes ma'am end this strange mans whole tiktok career

sir take a hint and leave

GINA NO DONT SAY YOUR LAST NAME HE COULD BE A HUMAN TRAFFICKER

Ricky, walking in style✨

weird kid, ok then Lynne, can't you see he's this close to the edge?

not all your fault baby Ricky, Nini sucks a bit more

RICKY YOU DIDN'T COME DOWN HARD ON THE SONG-

YOU ASKED WHAT IT WAS ABOUT AND SHE SHUT YOU DOWN-

PLEASE DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF

ok but the deleting comment thing was very bad

still don't know if I like Jack honestly

hmmm so Nini's calling herself Nini instead of Nina in her little egg seat, while trying to write a song without inspiration.... Nini, honey, Ricky was your muse, he inspired you to write all those songs, even if it wasn't good for the relationship.

that doesn't mean you gotta get back with him, or that you can't write a song that not about him butttt it'll take some time

the rainbow sticker in her box and her rainbow shirt-

anyways wbk she's not totally straight

Jack are you a criminal?

quick, Gina, check his ankle for a tracker

THE YES AND PRACTICE STRIKES AGAIN

the way Gina wasn't into it in episode 6 but she's used the technique twice now

stole her grandma's Pomeranian-

Jack where the hell did you pull that out from-

the fake crying killed me, that looks like so much fun though

anyone wanna raid a first class lounge with me?

wait so is jack not gonna go in with her?

wouldn't he go in too? help look for the credit card? SO CONFUSED

the first class lounge guy was so into the drama though, watch his face when they start arguing 😭

sorry to break this to you Kourtney, but you haven't even blocked the second act yet soooo...

take that as you will

I love how all of them are totally dissing the dance off

that's the most realistic part of this show tbh

shouldn't Nini have asked how she knew....since the start? why is the fact that her best friend has knowledge of a North high secret now dawning on her...

Howie is sweet honestly, at least he's trying to help. but I stand with Kourtney, don't take him back just because he sang an amazing song, and is giving you a heads up on what's gonna happen...

KOURTNEY IS ME TRYING TO LEAVE AN ONLINE CLASS

I hate school

ooo Nini's writing a song about bad internet connection 🤩🤩🤩

I never lie, except when I do-

son that is the creepiest thing you could say to a stranger that you've been "helping"

2 truths and a lie👀

he's an Ariana fan 100%

called it.

OLDER BROTHER-

WHAT-

free spirit? damn so brother porter was in that horse movie

so has she been kissed or not?????????

I feel like she's moved more than 15 times though so possibly

but then if she's moved so much, and before east high she never opened up to anyone, she's never been kissed then?? damn

same though Gina so let's be besties please

heartbreak president is a great song title idea, give Nini a call rn

but wait

is the no strings attached feeling thing about her telling Ricky she liked him? she thought she was moving away so she thought it'd be no strings attached???

guys I think I figured it out insert the "I've connected two dots" meme

THE DUKE SWEATSHIRT

IS THAT YOUR BOYFRIEND'S

OMG I LOVE I LOVE

NOT THAT I KNOW OF???

ma'am did you just kill me

yes you did

Lynne and Ricky have such a weird relationship

YES IT DID SUCK

TODD SUCKS

LYNNE SUCKS

yeah I get that you wanted Ricky to like Todd BUT THAT WASN'T THE TIME

right so we already know that Ricky was so desperate to keep Nini cuz he didn't want to be like his parents, and now Lynne's talking about this-

Richard needs a long hug

yes Lynne, it is your fault. thank you for finally admitting it.

YES DYE YOUR HAIR

BLOND HIGHLIGHTS RICKY WILL RISE AGAIN

"sometimes the best, last thing you can do for someone you love, is let them go."

gotta admit I teared up at that point

not me thinking big red was calling ms Jenn cupcake for a hot second-

Carlos please omg, you're at the "beach" and they're leaving for the pool?

also, why not just do the call from the hotel room please omg

"don't ask me"

"Carlos"

OMG WHAT HAPPENED

big red wants the tea

O M G

SEB IS JEALOUS

JEALOUS SEBBY IS MY FAVOURITE THING IDC

I'm surprised ms Jenn knew how to give Nini permission to screenshare tbh

So lily's been stalking the East high kids and spending time editing this video while she's supposedly in an immersion trip.... right

EJ and Ashlyn's picture is so chaotic, what even is happening there

"slacking off" bestie its spring break, obviously they're confident enough that they'll get it done in time so why not focus on your own musical.

jealous seb = sassy seb

please what if those guys Carlos is posing with are his cousins or something and that's why he's so confused about Seb

6 YEAR OLD EJ I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM

Nini saying she's obsessed with her ex, that's not weird at all 👍

I can just tell Matt had a blast harassing Julia with those puppets.

Jack please dont be like that, "yet"

chances are you'll never see eachother again 🥰

(honestly sometimes I really miss those friends I made on trips and stuff when we'd spend the day or week together, only to never see them again....those were the good days though)

Ashlyn and Nini should write more songs..... something better than this one at least

Nini: "im good"

cue the Tia Mowry (please I can't spell) crying gif

oh I forgot Ricky was in the show for a hot second

1. where did Gina get to film this without people being around

2. did she just... randomly change her clothes???

ok but the transition between Carlos and EJ

*chefs kiss*

now everyone shut up, EJ's singing

oh i think I'm pregnant

HIS MUSCLES

YES KOURTNEY

I love how big red and Kourtney went from being "the best friends™" to the couple in season 1, to kinda close themselves and having their own plots

sebby makes me so happy

props to biggies editing skills honestly

PORTWELL BEING SIDE TO SIDE I CANT

AND SEBLOS OMG

big red lives for the drama

"wow" so true Ricky

no he is not cute, stop it

"holding" ok that's kinda cute

yeah EJ's a lucky guy😌

jokes aside, it's not that hard to exchange numbers-

keep in touch if you want

ok I really like Jack now

if he comes back in season 3, maybe have him be LGBTQ+ ?

like the only out characters they have rn are Seb and Carlos and they're like the sterotypes, yk?

I'd love to see jack kinda break the mold

Ricky's breaking my heart

that song just hurts

the only thing

now I don't hate Lynne????????

HOW DARE THEY WRITE IN A PROPER REDEMPTION ARC FOR HER

UGH IM SUPPOSED TO HATE HER FOREVER

I mean I don't live her now but she's good

but honestly

"mom can I show you something"

IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL

THE PICTURE AND EVERYTHING OMG

I'm sobbing please help

Gina saying she's just waiting for the right guy and then EJ coming to the airport to pick her up late at night without her asking, offering to bring her back in the morning so she won't have to Uber, bringing her a granola bar (WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT SHE FORGOT TO PACK) and without expecting anything in return???

ms ma'am you've got a keeper right there

her smile at the end was so heartwarming I really can't.

this episode was great.

it felt really short but I liked it, great character development for Ricky, Lynne and Gina.

Cant wait for next episode to see more of EJ being the ideal boyfriend /hj

[derekmorganscrocs]

Nancy Drew 2x8 Thoughts While Watching

SPOILER ALERT!!!

DRUGS OMG BESS- she looks so good omg. So pretty rn. Always but rn especially. Loving the pastel pink. YO DONT BE A DICK DUDE. I don’t like him. I hate him. SHE GOT HIM ARRESTED.

Ace coming thru with the spam texts. “Are you married, to a man?” HE KNOWS. OH NO THE HUSBAND

UGH I HATE HIMMM- DO NOT TOUCH HER. HANDS OFF BITCHBOY.

Nancy and George bickering over security blanket- GEORGE PROTECTING NICK OMG FANERSON FOR LIFE I SAY.

Ryan, what are you doing with that magazine. How do you read from middle to back to front to middle, I’m so concerned. “IM GONNA KEEP HER SAFE” “did she say anything about me?” PLS HES KINDA ADORABLE FATHER.

“RYAN I SEE U STOP BEING SO WEIRD.” Sassy Nancy. GEORGE CALLED NICK BAEB BABE BABE BABE FANERSON BABE.

I HATE THIS MAN. bess’ hubby needs to go away. SHES SO AFRAID OF HIM. my heart is hurting. LEAVE HOE. bess ily pls stay safe until ur crazy ass husband leaves. Maybe divorce him too babes. Paused at exactly 54:04, her expression shattered me. SHE LOOKS SO SCARED. (It’s been two seconds) I GET IT WTF HES TERRIFYING.

FAKE MARRIAGE THANK GOD. ace and Bess rehearsing her speech omg “that was so good.” SUPPORTIVE PLATANCHOR.

Grant’s a murderer. I’m calling it now.

OH SHE KNOWS- oh she’s kinda nice. Oh I kinda like Diana... maybe not she’s a little family crazy. And kinda sinister idk

On the record... OK WOW SHE CANE THRU WITH THE REAL QUESTIONS. love her. STOP FLIRTING WITH THE REPORTER RYAN- “therapists out of business” oh he’s funny. NO HES BEING DEEP. WHY IS HE A HIPPIE- “for rich people who don’t like nature and don’t like walking” I LAUGHED

oh he’s dead. saw that coming. George and Nancy bonding :)))) george looks adorable I LOVE HER HAIR!

NANCY KILLED A MAN- NO IF GEORGE DIES ILL RIOT. the writers are just having fun throwing shit at George huh? STOP TRYING TO KILL HER DUDES

ACE IS SO JEALOUS. HES BEING REPLACED AS NICKS BFF, OH NICK KNOWS, plot twist nace is nick x ace “the woods speak to me” ok babe. yeah vibes though, forest picnic date!

Ghostly flypaper yeah vibes. DONT FLATLINE GEORGE OMG. “I was just envisioning possible scenarios” “I’m not mad I’m angry!” SHE DIED. SHES DEAD- I TOLD YOU GRANT IS A MURDERER- more reasonable thought brought to you by my mother, it may be bess’ hubby.

oh crap. He stole Frew (fan x drew).

NICK IS BEING REASSURING AND I LOVE HIM. WOW PLS CALMING NICK-

I love Ace’s jacket sm. I low key want it not gonna lie.

odette gonna save them??? OH SHE RLY JUST- ODETTE IS IN LOVE WITH BESS- “Bess has a husband” shrugs “okay” LEAH LEWIS IS KILLING IT WITH THIS ACCENT BRO I LOVE HER.

“Deer poop 11 oclock” I AM IN LOVE WITH RILEY SMITH AND HIS LAUGH. RYAN BRINGS PATRICE GROCERIES. STOP OMG. he kinda got sad talking about Lucy aw. He loved her so much.

“My ladies. Care for a beverage.” Smooth ace “Oh, there it is-“ BRAIN SHUT UP.

Odette kinda sending me though, kind of funny. Actually have sympathy for her I’m not going to lie. Oh nvm she’s a stone cold bitch. Kinda love her though- destiny or gene pool? Vibes lmao. Oh period odette.

BESS SNAPPED. SHES DISTRAUGHT. BESS I LOVE YOU.

“Oh, him again.” ODETTE PLEASE. RUN MY KNIGHTS IN SHINIBG ARMOUR- ACE OMG THAT WAS HOT. NICK OMFG. ACE WAS AN EAGLE SCOUT I LOVE. NICK PLS- oh he’s so concerned OMG STOP. WAIT what’s gonna happen now? IF THEY BREAK UP I AM RIOTING. “I got you” x6 NOT MY COMFORT WORDS, SIR.

OH NO. WHAT- DAMN IT HUSBAND. I HATE THAT GUY. NO STOP. NO BESS BEING A MARVIN WAS THE ONE THING SHE HAD- FUCK YOU STEVEN. AND YOU DIANA. SHE TURANID HER. IM GONNA CRY NO, BESS IS CRUSHED. BESS I WANNA HUG YOU, PLEASE

They’re so chill about being kidnapped no- SOMEONE HUG THIS GIRL. “Just like my mom all over again” NO. ace going to talk to her aw. Best friends.

“The musical reminder of the man we just killed” GEORGE STOP AHAHA.

Val- I DONT LIKE HER ANYMORE. I admire her drive, however.

oh no. She told him. “what?!” HE ONLY CARES THAT SHES NOT HURT!!! AS HE SHOULD. “Nancy is going to get it right now”

GRANT STOLE IT. FUCK YOU GRANT. I KNEW IT.

SISTER THOUGHTS:

“OF COURSE HES LIKE THIS HES A FRIGGING GINGER!” me: “HES LITERALLY BLONDE ALEXIS-“

“I didn’t know what that meant until like last year” about “late [person]”

Me: “Oh dear” sister: “oh dette“

(Ryan’s accent) “KJ APA? ARCHIEKINS?”

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

Hi I don’t think there are any TWs for this, except maybe mentions of drug addiction of a parent near the end?

I have a lot of amnesia of my whole life. (I’m 20). I barely remember anything from before tenth grade. And the other day my mom gave me home videos on cassette tapes and let me watch them. It took four or so hours to get through them all. And by then end I was crying my heart out.

Multiple happy Christmas vacations to my distant relatives, Easter, thanksgiving, school plays, my childhood dogs first day home. And I can’t remember any of it. I can’t remember these people or these places.

And as I watched the videos it hit me. I had a family. When I was little, I had a big family, who loved me and bought me dozens of presents. I had a cousin who’d build ginger bread houses with me and hold my hand while I walked so I wouldn’t get lost. I had a grandad who’d dress up as Santa to please the kids. I had a grandma who’d hold my hands as I jumped in a bouncy house so I wouldn’t trip. And an aunt, and another cousin, and her baby, and a great grandma. And I had a mother who doted on me and called me nicknames and gave me kisses and helped me unwrap presents when my fingers were too small.

All my life I dreamed of having a big big happy family. And now I know I used to have that. I could’ve had that forever. But it was taken from me. My mom started abusing prescription pain meds, and she stopped taking me to visit my family. And I never saw them again. I can’t even remember them.

I had a family and a home. I was safe. I was happy. Why would she take that from me?

Ever since I found this out I’ve been in a big depressive episode. I’m not eating much, I’m sleeping too much, I’m not talking. Im just so sad I can’t even explain it. I feel the loss, I really feel it and I’ve felt it all my life. But I can’t even remember what I’ve lost.

Am I being over dramatic or is this actually something to be sad about?

Hello anon,

To answer your question: Am I being over dramatic? No, absolutely not, you aren’t being over dramatic. What you have experienced is loss, loss of something near and dear to you; the loss of your memories and the separations from the loved ones contained within them can absolutely be considered as a traumatic experience, and your sadness is valid as is your loss and you mourning this. I hope this answers your question.

-Mod Srishti

[riverleyk]

SCRAPPED CHAPTER: Dimitri Watches his father's broadcast (MK3: Dimitri Project)

Dimitri watches his father’s broadcast Jack and Dimitri go to a cafe. A small ginger boy greets them Emilien: Hewwo! Welcome to Flavorsham Bistro! I’m Emilien and I’ll be your waiter :3 Jack: How old are you!? Emilien: 13! I started working here 2 weeks ago! I’m so excited- do you want chocowate!? It’s on special! She turns to dimitri in shock: What kind of labor laws do you even have in Canada!? Dimitri shrugs: Hey dont look at me, I dont know why a kid is working here either. Emilien: I dont work here, I volunteer! I do home schwool, and my mummy’s sick so I take her shifts He points to a small can with a picture of a woman on it Emilien: Will you donate, pwease? Jack: you lisp and accent are disgusting. What is she sick with? Emilien whistles out of his 2 buck teeth. He’s missing them because, ya know baby teeth fall out. Emilien: I don’t twalk like this normally! I’m missing teeths! Jack: How cute, but I dont care. Emilien (nervous): I was told to tell people that she has cancer.

Jack: How suspicious, I’ll send a formal complaint to the bureau of investigations. They sit down and get hot chocolate, because they’re just teens. Jack: I’m glad you could meet me here dimitri. Dimitri: Yes… just us eating croissants at our favorite British cafe that serves French cuisine. And its not a date. Jack nods: Not a date. Anywho… You’re interested in why my father and I moved to canada? Dimitri: yes Jack: Yes… it’s a top secret case, but… it’s so cool! Antonio Dreyas escaped from prison lately, and canada reached out to MY FATHER, the world’s greatest detective to go find him! Dimitri goes pale: Tony drey? Jack: Yea! Antonio Dreyas. Dimitri: Nobody calls him that, and your dad is going after my dad!? I didnt even know he escaped Jack: No… the probability that- *gasp* That’s why I recognized you when we first met! You cant be serious… you look so much- Dimitri: I know I look like my dad… I hate my face. Jack: Well… thats great! She gets out a note pad and pen: Tell me everything you know about him! This cafe isnt exactly a prison cell but I can interrogate you here! Dimitri glares Jack: What? I’m just curious Dimitri: Jacquelyn, this is impolite on so many levels. Jack: ok, well I supposed I can tell you the information I have first. Tony broke out in the middle of July, and Canadian officials have been on high alert ever since. The public wasn’t informed because it would cause panic, but my dad is close to finding me. We located a safe in northern Montreal, and right now my dad and the rcmp are negotiating with those thugs to let us have access inside. It contains a lot of cash, and potentially, Tony. Dimitri looks away: Then why did you want to interrogate me? I havent seen my dad since I was a kid. 6 Jack: its interesting that you still refer to him as your father. Havent you disowned him? He’s done so many terrible things… Dimitri: Because I still have memories of him as my dad. He was kind, and caring. He was there for me when I was a kid. it’s… he was a family man and a criminal, why dont nobody understand that? Jack: because its a confirmed fact that he was a womanizer and potentially god a dozen or so women pregnant. Havent you seen the trial where all those women testify against him? Dimitri whimpers: I have… a memory of it, but I watched it when I was young Jack gasps: wait thats right… you’re 16! You must have only been- Dimitri: 7. I was 7 when he was arrested. Jack: how did it happen? Dimitri: I was in third grade. Coming home from school. There were police officers all around my house and my dad was in cuffs. I was really small so I ran thru the crowd and hugged onto my dad’s leg. Nobody pulled me away ///////////// Flash back /////////////// Young dimitri: Daddy! Whats going on? Tony: Its alright, Walt. Dont cry. He kneels down by his boy and pets his hair Tony: I have to go. I’ll be gone for a very long time, but even tho I wont be with you, daddy loves you, Walter. I really do. Dimitri just cries and goes under the cuffs to hug him: Where are you going? Tony: Prison. I made a lot of mistakes. But promise me dimitri, you wont watch the new with mommy anymore. Dimitri: uh… what did you do??? Tony kisses his forehead before being forcefully put into the care Kiel picks up the boy and holds him. /////////// Back to reality //////////////// Dimitri: I did watch the news. My mom encouraged me too. It was confusing. There were so many words I had to look up in the dictionary. I remember him arguing with a woman about a baby that she killed… and him being guilty… It took me years to understand, but those who knew my dad, they started to hate me. My own mother stopped talking to me, I grew up into his face and people on the street give me bad looks. I was 13 and some woman called the cops on me. She thought I was him. Jack and him stay quiet for a bit Jack: I have that broad cast recorded at home. I- Dimitri: Can I watch it again? Jack: Why? Dimitri: I want to understand what it means. Im old

enough now, I can handle it. Jack sighs but accepts Later that night they do to her house and sit on the couch They watch the broad cast Im getting really tired of typing but essentially They accuse Tony of rape, murder, theif and drug selling Annabelle testifies that he was at raves trying to sell drugs and would cause violent riots Kiel testifies that she didnt know he was a monster. She cries and apologizes saying she would have called the police sooner if she knew and that her heart is broken due to the number of women he raped Nick’s mom testifies that he raped her Then theres Stellas mom. She was his second in command in the mafia. They grill her about her cries but she’s silent on trial, until they mention a baby. Tony eggs her to know where the baby is, but she’s quiet until she cracks… “I disposed of it.” Tony for the first time on trial breaks and shows fear. He screams what he wanted that child, that he wanted to be a father and run away with her Dimitri breaks while watching that. Knowing his father wanted to run away to start a new family, as well as finally understanding the severity of the crimes he committed. He cries I’M REALLY TIRED OF WRITING THIS Basically Jack sucks at comforting dimitri, and he explodes at her Calling her out for trying to be better than him even tho he has no dad, is failing school, has no friends and his life sucks. Her trying to be better than him, a guy with a pathetic life makes her worse than him by default cause its pathetic . He tells her he refuses to tutor her in French and leaves.

[jubilantwriter]

Jaspvid Week 2020: Day 3 - Summer

fuck it at this rate i’m just gonna be posting late never get a night shift job y’all

(AO3)   @jaspvid-week​

You Can't be Traumatized if You Don't Go to Summer Camp

Summary:  They met by an ice cream truck as children.  And since then, it’s been a tradition for them to meet up and buy ice cream together.

Word Count: 5088

Jasper loves summer.  Summer means no school, no homework, and no teachers to be bummed out by!  Since he's eleven now, he thinks that maybe his mom will let him go to the community pool more often, since he can totally swim by himself without her worrying that he'll go to the deep end and drown.  

He's too rad for that anyways!  And since summer vacation started, he's been having fun watching the Saturday morning cartoons and hanging out with his friends whenever they want to come over and play.  With the heat bringing it's A game this year though, more and more of his time is spent just lounging inside his house, trying to beat the heat with his mom's rotating fan.

In fact, here he sits, mouth wide open as he makes a long "ahhhh" sound at it, giggling as the fan messes with his voice.  Although summer isn't always about having fun and playing with his mom's fan and going swimming at the pool.  He keeps his ears perked as he waits for a special kind of song to start making its rounds around the block.

And sure enough, the musical notes of a familiar tune rings throughout the neighborhood, and Jasper is already making a mad dash to his mom for some sweet, sweet cash.

"Mom!"  He waves his hands back and forth to get her attention.  "Mom, the ice cream truck!"

His mom smiles, having already heard the tune and pulling her wallet out of her purse.  "Alright, hold on."  A few dollars bills are handed over as Jasper grabs them eagerly.

"Rad!"

"But only buy one, okay?  Dinner's coming up soon."

"Okay!"  He dashes out the door just in time to see the ice cream turn the corner onto his street.  "Hey!"  He waves his hand in the air, flagging down the ice cream truck as it continues past his house.  It slows to a stop as he chases after it when he notices another kid peek his head out.

Red hair.

Green eyes.

And the scariest frown he's seen.

He smiles as he waves at his neighbor.

"Hi, Davey!"

"Don't call me that!"  David yells as he slams his front door shut, disappearing back into his house.

"Jeepers, man."  Normally, all the other kids would feel put out by having their neighbor slam a door shut at them, but Jasper was used to it.  It was pretty rude yeah, but as long as Jasper kept his distance, David wouldn't start throwing rocks at him!  It's a good thing Jasper is a quick learner, otherwise there would have been a lot more rocks in his future.

"Hey, kid."  A man with a scraggly looking face rolls down the window.  The ice cream man!  "You wanted somethin'?"

"Sure do, mister!"  Jasper looks over the ice cream choices on the side of the truck.  There were ice cream sandwiches, drumsticks, those push pop thingies, the faces with bubblegum eyes, that frozen lemonade stuff in a cup that tastes okay he supposes, and-  "One bomb pop!  Please!"

"Sure, which flavor?"

"The one that looks like a rocket!"

"Red, white, and blue, comin' up."  Jasper waits patiently as the ice cream man disappears for a minute before reappearing with the cold treat.  "Here ya go.  One American ice cream."

"Is it really called that?"

"Nah.  That's a dollar."  Jasper hands over the dollar and grabs the frosty treat from the man as he sits on the sidewalk.  As he unwraps the popsicle, the ice cream man grunts in surprise.

"You want somethin' too?"  Jasper looks up and sees David standing not too far from him.  He's biting his lip, fists buried deep in his pockets as he glares at the ice cream on the truck.  "Gotta pay up, kid."

"...Not if I take it first!"  Jasper watches as David runs and leaps at the truck's window, grabbing onto the ledge as the ice cream man looks unimpressed.

"Nice try, kid."  He flicks off every single one of his tiny fingers, making David land on the ground with a soft "oof!".  "Maybe come back with a dollar, and I'll give ya what your bratty heart so desires."

"Whatever!"  David stands up quickly and stomps his foot.  "Ice cream is for squares anyways!"  As the ginger stomps off, Jasper wonders how many times David's tried to pull that off.  He gets up and walks back to the truck.

"Hey, mister?"

"Whatcha want, kid?"  The ice cream man eyes him from the window.  "You better eat that quick 'fore the sun melts it."  

"Oh I will!  It's just, um," he digs around in his pocket and pulls out another dollar, "can I have another one?"

The ice cream man takes it slowly, looking between Jasper and a door that slams shut yet again.

"You sure?"

"Yeah."  Technically, Jasper wasn't breaking any rules.  He grins up at the man brightly.  "Umm, can I have..."

Actually, which one WOULD he like?  It's not like Jasper knows enough about David to make a good guess.  All he knows is that David is grumpy, hates people, sasses adults, and is an overall menace to everyone around him.

But he's also seen David out in the rain, with no umbrella or raincoat to speak of, just picking worms off the sidewalk and tossing them into the grass.  He's seen David yell at bullies, aim only for the legs in dodgeball, and even sit next to a crying kid silently just so he wouldn't be alone.  

Jasper points at the vanilla bar with the hard outside.

"Can I have that one?"

"Sure, kid."  The ice cream man disappears and comes back with the wrapped treat, but he looks hesitant to give it to him.  "Are ya sure...?"

"Totally man!  My mom says that if I treat people the way I wanna be treated, I can make friends way faster like that!"

"That's one way to do it, I guess."  The ice cream man shrugs as he hands over the treat.  "Better give it to him before it melts then."

"Will do!  Thanks, mister!"

The ice cream man waves as Jasper runs to David's house, sticking his melting popsicle in his mouth as he knocks on the door.  The door creaks open slowly, a single green eye peeking out suspiciously before he spies Jasper standing on his doorstep.  Jasper pops his popsicle out and grins.

"Heya, broski!"

"Oh, it's you."  Ouch.  "What do you want?"  Jasper waves the wrapped treat in front of David.

"I did something totally wack and got an extra by accident!  And I'm only supposed to have one ice cream before dinner or else my mom will totally wig out, so I thought maybe you'd like it?"  David stares at the ice cream with a suspicious squint.

"...Why are you giving it to me?"

"Because you're the only kid I know in this neighborhood!"

"Liar."

"Okay, maybe I know a few other kids, but you were closer!"

"What's the catch?"  David glares at Jasper, holding onto his door tight.  "I take the ice cream and then what?  I gotta give you my allowance?  Beat the snot outta someone?  Be your friend because you're a weird loner?"  

Well, Jasper's not exactly a loner, but he wouldn't mind being friends with David if he'd just stop being mean for a second.

"It's just ice cream, dude.  Take it or leave it."

David swipes the bar from his hand and slams the door in Jasper's face.

"Nice!"  The ice cream man calls, laughing as Jasper walks away with a huff.

Well.

At least he took the dang thing. 

////

The ice cream truck comes again, and this time, the man grins as Jasper points at an ice cream sandwich.

"Gonna get a second one too while you're at it?"  He points to a door cracking open, and a familiar tuft of red hair peeking out.

"...I dunno, maybe."  Last time didn't work out so hot.  Maybe David just doesn't want friends.  Maybe he's the loner.

And Jasper's fine with that.  It's not like he has to be friends with David anyways.

"Who knows, kid?  Maybe he's like a stray cat.  Gotta be nice to 'im and bait 'im 'til he comes out."

"You just want my mom's money."

"Absolutely, now are you gonna buy another one or not?"

"I said I dunno."  Jasper huffs as he waits for the ice cream man to give him his sandwich.  As he takes it, he hears the door shut and he turns to find David no longer hiding by his door.

"Looks like the runt went back into hiding."  The ice cream man hums to himself as Jasper unwraps his treat and starts to munch away.  A bright look comes across the man's face as he ducks into his truck as Jasper watches curiously.  When the ice cream man resurfaces from his searching, a yellowish cup is held in his hand as he shoves it at Jasper's face.  "Here, kid."

Jasper scrunches up his face.

"I don't want it."

"Nah, kid, it's free."

"I still don't want it."

"Look, I got a whole bunch of these laying around 'cause kids don't want 'em as much as the other stuff I got.  So why not throw it at that kid's face so you're not wasting your ma's money and I'm gettin' rida stock I don't need?"

"I don't want him to hate me more than he already does!"

"Can't get any lower than rock bottom, kid."

Oh, he'd beg to differ.

But the ice cream man tosses him what was essentially frozen lemonade, but not like, the good lemonade, but the lemonade that was just pure lemon juice with some water, maybe even too much water, mixed in, and then they put it in the freezer, and then put that ice block into a blender, turned it on high, and poured the goop into a cup to be sold to children who actually knew what good lemonade tasted like.

And this was not good lemonade.

Jasper barely manages to catch it as it smacks into his chest.

"Good luck, kid!"  The ice cream man salutes him before rushing off into the driver's seat to drive away.

"But I said I didn't want it!"  Fruitlessly, he yells at the disappearing ice cream truck, groaning loudly as he clutches this awful excuse for a lemony treat.  What was he supposed to do with it?  

...

Well, he could actually give it to David.

Maybe he was into this sort of stuff.

Frozen, bad lemonade.  That was kind of like shaved ice, but not really.  The outside of the cup sweats in his hand, reminding him of the hot temperature.

Maybe he wouldn't care?  Maybe he'll take it because it's so hot out and use it as a, like, ice pack or something.

His feet are already walking him to David's door, and after cramming the ice cream sandwich in his mouth, he once again knocks on the door, but with less enthusiasm this time.  David opens the door, but he looks only a little surprised.

"What do you want, Jasper?"

Oh, he knows his name?  

"Uh, here."  His words are muffled around the sandwich, but David takes the cup regardless.

And scrunches up his face when he sees it.

"Ugh!  I don't want this!"

"Me neither!"

"It sucks!"

"I know!"

David blinks, as if registering that Jasper was actually agreeing with him.

"So why are you giving this to me?"  Jasper swallows a bite of his sandwich and shrugs.

"I dunno, maybe you can like, use it as an ice pack?"

"Pfft."  David snorts, which makes Jasper perk up a bit.  "As if.  This thing'll only last for a few minutes."  

"What are you gonna do then?"  Jasper watches as David wipes the sweat from his brow, frowning as he stares down at the cup.

And sighs dramatically.

"Guess I'll eat the dang thing."

"...You sure?"

"Well it's not like I have a choice."  Jasper expects more bite to his words, but the ginger merely says it with a tired reluctance he doesn't expect.  "Thanks, though."

"Oh uh, sure, duderino."  He expects David to slam the door in his face but the boy just... keeps it open.  "Guess I'll see you around?"

"Whatever."  David shrugs as he pops the lid open.  "See ya."  

He walks away from David's house and doesn't hear the door close.  When he makes it to his own house, he looks over to where David's house is and sees the boy sitting there.  Quietly eating his treat in the open doorway.

And Jasper swears.

He's eating it with a smile.

////

When Jasper approaches the familiar ice cream truck, he can hear two voices yelling at each other near the truck's window.

"You tellin' me this is all two dollars?!"

"I said count 'em, you gigantic square!"

"Uhh...?"  Jasper walks up to find David gripping the edge of the window from where he hangs with a snarl.  The ice cream man glares back down at David as he holds a fist full of coins.  Oh.

"It's two dollars!"

"Quit jerkin' my chain!  As if I'd believe you!"

"Can I count?"  The two of them turn their heads to Jasper as he sheepishly rubs his arm.  "I mean, if I count them in front of you, it'd save you the trouble and prove Dave- David's telling the truth."  The ice cream man rolls his eyes but hands the change over to Jasper regardless.  And so the brunette carefully sorts out the assortment of change, and holy cow, he can see why the ice cream man was angry at first.  It's a big mess of nickels and pennies and dimes, with maybe one quarter in the mix, but he counts out the change dutifully, carefully, and out loud so that the ice cream man can see his work.

"...and two dollars."  He gathers up the change and holds it up to the ice cream man.  "David was telling the truth."

"I told you, you big doofus."

"Watch it, kid, or else I'm taking your money and drivin' away."

"That's stealing!"

"As if you haven't tried stealin' from me before."  But the ice cream man disappears and comes back with two drumsticks.  "Here, your ice cream."

"Yessss!"  David takes them both, before turning to Jasper and handing him a stick.

"...Huh?"

"Here."  He shoves it into Jasper's hand and looks away.  "For the other times you got me ice cream."

"Oh!  You didn't have to-"

"Later, nerd!"  David runs off and into his house, slamming the door shut as he leaves Jasper in the dust.

"...Are you two friends now?"

"Uhh."  Jasper looks down at the drumstick in his hand.  It's the usual kind - vanilla, coated with chocolate and nuts.  He unwraps it and gnaws on the outer shell.

Sweet.

"...Maybe."

"Huh."  The ice cream man sounds amused as he reclines against his window.  "That was quick."

////

It becomes a routine.

Everyday, the ice cream man comes.  Sometimes it'll be Jasper who meets him first.  And sometimes it's David.

But there's an unspoken rule between them.

They have to wait until the other shows up before leaving.

It's like a meeting place, but with a guy who brings the meeting place to them.

Normally, they just buy the ice cream and part ways back to their houses.  

But sometimes...

"Doesn't it hurt?"

"What?"

Jasper and David sit on the curb, the ice cream man already driving away as they eat.  It's too hot to stay indoors, so they find themselves having a rare moment outside in the sun.  Jasper wouldn't mind staying quiet, if only for the fact that David bites down on the bomb pop like it's candy and crunching away at it in his mouth.

Just watching him eat it makes Jasper's teeth ache.

"Biting down on it!"

"No it doesn't."  David chomps down on it again, making Jasper cringe. 

"My mom says that biting ice cream like that can hurt your teeth."

David snorts.

"You're just a chicken."

"Am not!"

"Then do it, chicken."

Jasper looks at his own popsicle.  He doesn't want to hurt his teeth, but he also doesn't want to be called a chicken.  David grins slyly as he nudges Jasper.

"Chiiiickeeeeen," he goads.

"I'm not a chicken!"  Without a second thought, Jasper bites down on his popsicle and crunches down on the block of flavored ice.  It feels as though the ice is freezing his teeth all the way down to his gums, and it sort of hurts, and sort of doesn't.

It's still not pleasant though, so he chews through it quickly.

"See?"  David nudges him again with a lighter grin as he goes back to polishing off the popsicle.  "It's not that bad."

"Ugh."  He determines not to do that again.  "I think I'll pass on eating popsicles like that ever again."

David snickers but doesn't push him.  Instead, they both kick at the asphalt beneath their feet and take in the rays.

////

Summer comes, and summer goes.  They go back to school, pretend they don't know each other asides from a neighborly nod, before continuing on with their lives.

But when summer returns, they find themselves meeting up back at the ice cream truck.

"Wanna try these ones?!"  Jasper excitedly points at the pastel-looking ice cream bars on the truck.

"Are you getting it only for the colors?"

"Why not!"  

"That's dumb.  You're dumb."  

"You just don't wanna admit you wanna try the cotton candy one."  Jasper teases the ginger as David rolls his eyes.

"Whatever.  I'll just take the watermelon one."  

"Well, I'm taking the cotton candy one, 'cause I'm not a chicken."

"You take that back."

"Are you kids gonna pay or what?"

"Here you go, mister!"  As the ice cream man hands them their treats, the two of them sit back on the curb, kicking at the asphalt as they get used to each other yet again.

"You think his menu ever changes?"

"Nah, he seems too lazy to do that."

"But what if something new comes out?  Like a tubular kind of ice cream."

"He already has a tube-y ice cream."

"No, like tubular!  Like wicked?  Gnarly?"

"...I hate you so much.  Just speak like a human!"

"But I am??"  David yells as Jasper laughs.  "Take a chill pill, man!  It's how everyone speaks nowadays!"

"That's a lie.  A big, dumb lie that only a square would make."

"Calling people a square is sooo outdated, Davey."  The nickname slips out before Jasper can stop himself, and he slaps his hand over his mouth in shock.  "Oh, no, I'm sorry!  I didn't mean to-"

"It's fine."

And he blinks.

"...Huh?"

"I said it's fine."  David kicks at the asphalt, keeping his eyes away from Jasper's as he bites into his ice cream.  "...I'm okay with you calling me 'Davey'."

"Are.  Are you sure?"

"Yeah."  David shrugs before turning to face Jasper.  He looks uncertain, nervous even as he twirls the melting treating between his fingers.  "I mean, we're friends, right?"

And he blinks again.

Mouth slightly agape. 

He must have taken too long to respond because suddenly David's ears are bright red as he stands up abruptly.  "Wh-whatever!  If we're not friends, just say it-!"

"We are!"  Jasper stands up just as quickly, a giddy grin making it onto his face as he makes to hug David, only to remember the sticky ice cream in their hands.  "We're friends!"

It's David's turn to blink as he registers the words Jasper says.  And then.

He smiles.

A real, genuine smile.

"...Cool!"

And when summer inevitably ends, he hopes he'll get more than a nod from David as they pass each other in the halls.

////

Summers come, and summers go.  As they pass each other in the halls, Jasper goes for a high-five that David avoids, only to punch Jasper (lightly) in the arm later.

They sit next to each other at lunch, Jasper sharing his snacks with David as the latter pours over Jasper's homework as Jasper explains each problem to him.

They become an odd pair, the two of them.  David's bristly exterior is immediately softened when Jasper is nearby, and Jasper's mood lightens considerably no matter the problem he has to face as long as David is there with him.

People often ask him if he hopes to make David a more cheery person by sticking with him.  After all, Jasper is all smiles and bright colors.  But Jasper just shrugs, saying he likes David the way he is.

If David changes, then he'll still like him.

Because David is David.

Just like how Jasper is Jasper.

Some things about them will change, Jasper knows that's inevitable.  Habits change, opinions change, outlooks change.

But some routines never change.

They're fourteen as they wait for the ice cream truck together, sitting on Jasper's front lawn as the cool grass stains their shorts.

"Aren't we too old for ice cream trucks?"  David is lying down besides Jasper, his eyes closed as Jasper drops torn up grass onto his face.  Jasper giggles as David swats halfheartedly at his hand.

"Nah."  

"We could be doing something else.  Like playing games.  Or eating ice."

"Only you would eat ice."

"Yeah well, maybe if you didn't think your teeth were so fragile-"

Jasper rolls David over, the other boy squeaking indignantly as his words are muffled by the dirt and grass. 

"UGH!  JASP-"  And then a familiar jingle rounds the corner.

"Oh it's Mr. Kevin!"  Jasper bounces to his feet and dashes away to meet the familiar driver.  "What's up-!"

David comes up from behind Jasper and grabs him in a headlock, already yelling at the amused man as he pulls out a few bills.

"HE WANTS THE LEMON ICE!"

"HEY-"

"Whatever my loyal customers want."

"HEY-"

////

A few more summers come and go.  Puberty is wack.  High school is wack.  Preparing for college is super bogus wack.  But David isn't wack.

If time could stop for just a moment, just so Jasper could have more seconds in the day to relish those moments of happiness that escape them more often than not, then maybe, just maybe, he wouldn't feel as though everything was falling through his fingers so quickly.

Things change too quickly.

Times change too quickly.

Even old routines, that one routine he'd grown to depend on every summer.

That began to change too.

As the two of them wait for the ice cream man, a man who has slowly begun to fade from their lives as the times change, Jasper finds himself clutching desperately to the past as his feet tap nervously against the grass.  He can feel David's eyes on him, watching as his best friend slowly unravels before him.  With a sigh, David leans against him, forcing Jasper to a halt as he forces the teen to lay down in the grass.

Up above them, the clouds roll by peacefully, completely unbothered and untethered to any sorts of worries.

"...You think he's gonna come by?"

"I don't think he's got enough customers to justify it, Jasp."

"...Bummer."

"Hm."

They continue to watch the clouds for a while, Jasper's disappointment settling on his face as he wonders if he took his childhood for granted yet again.  A finger prods his cheek, and he turns to see David's green eyes.  Calm.  Relaxed, even.  He's mellowed out throughout the years, but he still wears a frown most days.  He's grown up a lot since he was that mean, bratty kid next door.

"You want ice cream that bad?"

"It's not that."  Jasper bites his lip.  He's kind of embarrassed actually, wanting to stick to this routine for so long.  David's probably long since gotten tired of waiting for the ice cream truck, especially during these recent years as the man showed up less and less.  But he never complains or goes against Jasper's wants, and instead plays along patiently as Jasper continues to cling.  

"Then what is it?"

Is it hard to explain?  Or is it just embarrassing to say?  He looks over to David, and there's understanding in his eyes as he props himself up, waiting for Jasper to choose his words without any rush.

How lucky was he to keep a friend like David for so long?

"We stuck together because of the ice cream truck."  David's eyes widen as the words sink in.  Jasper laughs, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck as he looks away.  "I dunno it just- I'm probably just tripping over this for no reason, dude, sorry-"

"It's important to you."  Jasper feels David lean against him as he thinks out loud.  "I don't think it's wrong that you're upset about it."

"...But it's a dumb thing to cling to."

"Not really.  We became friends because we kept buying ice cream together.  I think that's pretty meaningful."  David rests his chin on Jasper's shoulder as they continue to sit, waiting for nothing to arrive. 

"Is it bad that I miss it?"

"Nah."  

The breeze ruffles their hair.

"...What do you think Kevin is up to?"

"Probably selling drugs."

"Davey!"

"What?"  The ginger laughs, puffs of warm brushing against Jasper's neck as he gradually calms down.  "I'm right."

"You don't know that."

"Maybe."  

Jasper closes his eyes.  It's hot out, but he doesn't mind David sticking so close by.  It's comforting, actually, feeling his warmth like this.  Like, no matter what, even if the ice cream truck doesn't come by anymore, David doesn't really need a reason to just come by and sit next to Jasper and do nothing together.

At least that won't change.

"Hey."

"Yeah?"

"Let's do something next year."

"Like what?"

"Something new."  David turns his attention back to the sky and reaches out towards it.  He tries to grab a cloud, but it floats away from his hand.  "I've always wanted to go camping."

"But we don't know anything about camping."

"We can practice."  David pulls back just enough to look Jasper in the eye, bright eyed at the prospect.  "We got a whole year to prepare, and we'll be graduating soon anyways.  Why not do something special for that summer?"

No more ice cream trucks.  No more sitting around.  But something new to fill in the void.

It couldn't hurt, right?

"Yeah."  He smiles as David returns with his own grin.  "Let's try that out."

\\\\

Summers come as they are wont to do.  And they leave as they tend to do.  The ice cream truck never comes back.

But that's okay.

David brightens up significantly as they begin camping, and Jasper wonders if he'd been holding his friend back for so long, making him wait for trucks to come when it was clear they needed to move on.

And yet.

He stood by him the entire time, waiting until Jasper was ready to let go.

An unspoken trust.  With unwavering understanding.

Camping is alright, he supposes, but David loves how the trees surround them, how the birds sing above them, the way they come across streams and rivers as though they were new discoveries.

Camping is alright.  But David's happiness is worth so much more.

"Jasp!"  David pulls him along to the nearby clearing, their campfire crackling softly as he points up to the sky.  "You don't get to see stars like this often!"

"...Yeah."  He watches as David stares up at the night sky, so unlike the boy he grew up with.  It's a side of him he's rarely seen before.

And he thinks that it's a shame that they never got to explore this side of him sooner.

Wouldn't that have made David happier?

David turns to Jasper, head tilted to the side as he catches his friend staring.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Oh, uh, nothing."  He looks away with a blush, scratching at his cheek as he looks for something to distract David with.  "Oh yeah, we should make sure the campfire doesn't burn down anything, right?"

"Oh- yeah!"  David rushes back, already worried as Jasper laughs.

This.

This is different.

But it's a good kind of different.

"Hey."

"Huh?"  David looks up from where he sits by the fire, watching as Jasper plops down besides him.

"Why do you like camping so much?"

"...I dunno it just."  He shrugs, smiling wistfully as he watches the fire.  "I mean, I used to camp a lot with my dad.  Before he left."  

Ah, right.

"Wouldn't you hate camping then?"

"I mean, I did.  For a long time, I did."  David laughs, a light blush dusting his cheeks as he talks.  "But then, you became my friend.  And we grew closer and.  I just wanted to do something with you.  Something that we could claim as our own.  Sure, there was that whole ice cream thing but.  That could only last for so long, and when it ran its course, I saw how you were struggling to just.  Wrap your mind around losing something that was so us.  And I wanted to do something.  Make a new something.  And.  Camping was the only thing I could think of."  He shrugs as he turns to face Jasper, the brunette wide eyed as the ginger grins.  "It just felt... right, you know?"

"...God."  Jasper shakes his head, laughing as he does so.  "You're amazing, you know that?"

"Only because you stuck by long enough for me to be amazing."  David nudges his shoulder playfully.  "...Hey."

"Hm?"

"Thanks.  For actually, um.  Being my friend."  David looks down as he speaks.  "It couldn't have been easy."

"...Nah, thanks for letting me stick to that ice cream schtick for so long."  Jasper bonks his head gently against David's.  "That couldn't have been easy."

"It's whatever."  David bonks back with a smile.  "I mean, as long as I got to spend time with you, it was worth it."

...Yeah.

It was, wasn't it?

He smiles as their fingers brush together.

Yeah, maybe camping was just alright.  If it'd been with anyone else, he'd be pretty indifferent and distant throughout the whole affair.

But.

With David?

Like when they were waiting for the ice cream truck together, the sun beaming down above them, feet kicking playfully at asphalt as they listened to the sounds of the birds chirping in the distance.

Sitting here, by an open fire, underneath the stars and listening to the songs of the crickets and the hoots of the owls.

Just like then.

Just.  Existing next to each other.

It just.

Feels.

Right.

[raymencranpin17]

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