#a winter’s night zine

[dazeceleztial]

Here's my piece for A Winter's Night YOI Digizine made by @rememberingyoi

I'm incredibly saddened by the news of Ice Adolescence officially being canceled but I won't ever forget this beautiful story.

Please support the zine and donate to the charities linked if you are able to

[kewpiemart]

My piece for the Yuri on Ice zine, "A Winter's Night."

This show changed the trajectory of my life entirely, and I am heartbroken to hear the news regarding Ice Adolescence; However, our fond memories of it, as well as its everlasting impact, will last forever. ♡♡♡

Go check out the zine with other amazing artists! The zine is free, but donations to humanitarian organizations are linked and encouraged!!!

@rememberingyoi

[rememberingyoi]

❄️ APPLICATIONS ARE NOW CLOSED! ❄️

Click here to apply for your art to be featured in the #MAPPAWhereisYOI team’s first issue of the YOI Digital Zine! We look forward to seeing what everyone comes up with <3

[thescreamingwall]

Decent haul of books from Canty’s this weekend

[centaurworks]

Preparing for Christmas Night

Commissions Open I have a Ko-Fi Social Medias Characters (Peyton De Zine, Basalees, Kenna Flamber) © @CentaurWorks     This took a long while but I really wanted to do it! After last year and since Cynthia won the OC Ballot of 2021, I want to keep doing a yearly Christmas image and this one came out so amazing! I went with a more Bob Ross-style with the trees, I wanted to make sure to have a beautiful starry sky with the moon, and doing the Basalees (my Slimes) felt so good after their introduction. The other thing I loved, is the shading for the fluff on both Kenna and Payton, looking better than most other times. I wanted to add Kenna to this one to keep the tradition going for the OC Ballot winners but this might be her last image for a while.     Hope you like it! 

[alicenpai]

princess tutu: die jahreszeiten 🌸

kind of a companion piece to my 2022 ptutu drawing | it's on inprnt

this print was at anime north; next con is otakuthon!

oops so my hand slipped and i made another princess tutu drawing. i admittedly don't watch that much anime so my catalogue of work is gonna be the same 5 animes LMAO. what can i say, i love "dark" fairy tales, and i've been really enjoying the more fine art approach to a lot of my drawings as of late (and the watercolour brush i've been using has been so perfect for that...!)

as my first princess tutu drawing is now 2 years old, there are some areas i've grown to have ... qualms with... although both drawings as a whole are pretty much exactly what i envisioned, and that's always satisfying!

both of these were drawn in roughly a week's time (yes really...) for con crunch period (and i went back to this drawing after the con to touch up some areas that were a bit rough!). i wanted a different approach to this new pt drawing, with the focus on the line work, rather than on colours and lighting in the 2022 drawing.

this drawing had 2 goals: to continue the style i adopted in my witch hat atelier "lantern bearers" drawing (which i promise i'll post in full soon as soon as all of the zine artists get their go-ahead to post their pieces!), and to emulate the art nouveau movement's heavy emphasis on line work, albeit not a 1:1 style replication of course.

the seasons also aren't a 1:1 representation, as i didn't necessarily pick flowers or colours that are most strongly associated with the season (e.g. summer being a dark tone is a bold choice?). but it's kinda whatever, as i said before i drew this in a week, there may be more appropriate flowers with better meanings. i couldn't spend too too much time drafting and researching.

FLOWER SYMBOLISM:

- spring: apple blossoms, tulips - the apple blossom is a quintessential spring flower, and thus symbolize the arrival of spring. spring is a season of change, which ahiru/princess tutu is a force of, instigating change in her friends and unravelling the story around her. the flowers below her are tulips, and there are many meanings to tulips depending on the colour, due to their ubiquitous nature. i narrowed on one, and intended for them to symbolize happiness. princess tutu's pose is one in which that is open, inviting, and warm - reflecting her nurturing nature in the series, and her willingness to help others achieve happiness.

- summer: deadly nightshade flower, yellow rose - i chose for rue/princess kraehe to symbolize a fiery summer's night instead of the typical dazzling heat of a summer's day, a rather bold and unusual choice. the warmth of sunshine didn't quite fit, as the character is quite dramatic and passionate, with her intentions often hidden in shadow. next, the deadly nightshade - atropa belladonna - has a lot of mythological associations, a lot to do with poisoning, as the flower is toxic. the flowers bloom at night (another reason why i picked a nighttime backdrop for "summer") and also outwardly match rue's dark design scheme, as the cherry on top. yellow roses, at the bottom of her frame, are the archetypal flower depicting jealousy (as with many yellow flowers are), and at one point in the story, rue only wished for her own happiness at the misfortune of others.

- autumn: douglas fir needles, orange calla lily - autumn is another season of change - although much more tumultuous, as this season is traditionally taken to prepare for a long winter ahead - fitting for fakir as the role of the storyteller. the douglas fir is not a flower of course, but is a tree - with many different parts of this tree offering many benefits in advance of the winter season. i wanted the versatile nature of the douglas fir to reflect on fakir's dependable personality. next up, the calla lily is a flower with a dual meaning - on one hand you have life, on the other you have death. a storyteller quite literally can grant both at the tip of their fingers.

- winter: birch tree, snowdrop - winter is a rather still and unchanging season, a lull in the passage of time. this symbolizes mytho's passive nature at the start of the series, especially with his doleful pose here, as if almost in hibernation. to contrast, mytho is perched on the branches of a birch tree, which means new beginnings and renewal - as mytho is one of the characters that undergo the most change throughout the series (i'd argue the most?), regaining pieces of his heart. under mytho's frame is the snowdrop flower - and if you've read my witch hat atelier: seasons piece symbolisms, one of the snowdrop's meanings is rebirth, with connotations to the bible, bringing hope, when all had forsaken eve. the snowdrop is one of the first flowers to bloom even when the snow has not yet fully melted, further echoing mytho as an analogy for rebirth.

[amateurconfessions]

Daily Constellations #3 "December" mini-zine

by Hannah Stokes

[museenkuss]

Marie Museenkuss Advent Calendar

For this advent season, I've prepared a selection of little treats - recipes, things to read or things to watch that I enjoy (or wrote) and am excited to share with you over the next few days. Each day, I'll 'open' another door to reveal the treat. I hope we can celebrate and have fun together!

[💎] To start, a cosy Christmas crime classic: Hercule Poirot's Christmas

[🦊] One of my all-time favourite fairy tales, Allerleirauh, can be read on this website! If you'd like to turn pages and see an illustration or two, you can also read it in the Green Fairy Book via archive.org, but beware - that version is censored!

[🪞] An all-time classic of a different kind, maybe just in time now that the New Year is slowly seeping in: Joan Didion's Essay "On Self Respect"

[💌] Feelings inspired to write? I’ve got some shimmering, cool, delicate december prompts ready for you!

[🗝️] In the spirit of the censored Allerleirauh: Read my thoughts on death, mutilation and the gruesome in fairy tales

[👢] On the morning of the sixth, German children will find little treats in their boots that Nikolaus left for them the night before. Let's use some of them (apples, marzipan(optional), nuts) to make a traditional German christmas treat - the Bratapfel. Rezept. Authentic English recipe.

[🏮] Let's take a virtual trip to the Tate and look at Sargent's Carnation, Lily, Lily, Rose in two short videos that focus on description and technique!

[✨] The nostalgic excitement of entering a theatre and watching the other guests before the show - Chanel's A/W 2024/25 Haute Couture Show blends Opera and High Fashion.

[☕️] Today (very appropriate for the temperature drop), we're learning how to make French hot chocolate: [written recipe] [video]

[🦢] Do you have an hour to spare? Enjoy this charming little volume on perfume from 1928, a love letter to fragrance filled with anecdotes from all over the world and illustrated by the wonderful George Barbier: The romance of perfume by Richard Le Gallienne

[🌹] A Renaissance princess and her baroque prince... Here's a magical performance of Sleeping Beauty by the Bolshoi Ballet

[12] 🎪

[🍰 ] With eleven days left, there's still more than enough time to make the Fortnum&Mason Christmas Cake in time for Christmas! [the official F&M christmas cookbook has a very similar recipe for a fruit cake, but without the soaking and with a layer of fondant on top. let me know if you'd be interested in that, I'll post a pic]

[💋] today, let’s read one of my favourite sensual poems for winter: Francis Jammes — Tu Seras Nu (You will be nude), translated by Kenneth Rexroth

[🖋] This sunday, let's write! Or, alternatively: Let's daydream! Here are some brand new prompts for inspiration.

[🎞️] In the spirit of daydreaming: You and I by Papooz, Weak for your Love by Thee Sacred Souls, Mystery by Raveena are three extremely different but visually stunning music videos to songs I absolutely adore. To start this week, take a little moment to watch and listen, dream and dance.

[🍷] Easy poached pears in red wine with vanilla - a gorgeous, ruby-coloured dessert. I've made (regular) poached pears before and they are just as easy as this title suggests. But I'm SO eager to try (and share <3) this variant!

[18] 🎠

[🐻] After a long, tiring day of Christmas shopping (or Christmas stress), let's relax with a whimsical film! Panna a netvor (Beauty And The Beast) from 1978 <3

[💫] Imagine a zine, except more whimsical and more complicated - today, we're learning how to make a Victorian Puzzle Purse! They're so pretty, perfect add-ons for a christmas gift - or adorable presents in their own right.

[🩰] I feel like Christmas is the time where we can truly reconnect to the magic of childhood. So today, let's put on our (imaginary) ballet slippers and do a little 5-min Nutcracker ballet choreo in our living room! Whether we're dancers or not honestly doesn't matter - nobody is watching us, this is all about enjoying the fantasy of a snow-sparkling night. We're playing pretend! And if you'd rather improvise to something more dramatic, I used to whirl around to Borodin's Polovtsian Dances.

[🕰️] During this cold, dark evening, I present to you one of my favourite poems, caught between romanticism and irony: Heine's Old Chimney Piece (in translation).

[🎟️] About a year ago, Joel Haver made a video looking back on 4 years of uploading weekly short films. It's one of my favourite videos, visually, in its tone and regarding its message, and I feel now that the year is coming to a close, it might be a really inspiring watch: it's been fun.

[🎄] I wish I could invite you all over to show you the illustrated edition of E.T.A. Hoffmann's Nutcracker that my parents gifted me in 2001. Instead, I offer you a very nice translation: Nutcracker and the King of Mice - and, if you're the audiobook type, I found a good translation with Tchaikovsky's music here. The story is haunting, delicate, glittering, unheimlich. It starts on Christmas Day and infuses the following days and nights with magic. It was such a joy to share this Advent Calendar with you and I hope that with this, I can share some of my Christmas festivities with you, too, since they're so entwined with this story (and since the first chapters also somewhat accurately depict how I celebrate Christmas, too - on the evening of the 24th, after decorating the tree). Lots and lots of Love, darlings! I hope you have a magical day, a magical evening, and a very Merry Christmas!

[riotwritesthings]

Unrequited Dreams

WinterIron, M, 3.5k - Soulmate AU, Angst, hopeful ending

I can finally share my piece from the Reforged WinterIron Zine! I'm so excited, I'd had the idea for this fic for years and it was delightful to finally bring it to life. And now I get to share!

Thank you to all the mods over at @reforgedzine for making this happen!

~~~

The night before his thirteenth birthday Bucky is so excited he can barely fall asleep, because he’s going to have his first dream about his soulmate.

The anticipation has been building for weeks, for years; his family has taken to fondly rolling their eyes because Bucky can't talk about anything else. He can’t wait to find out something, anything about his soulmate, about how they'll meet for the first time. He can't wait to start trying to make sense of the hazy details the dream will leave him with.

In the morning, Bucky wakes up sobbing, because now he knows that his soulmate is gorgeous and graceful. That knowledge is crystal clear even if few other details are.

And now, Bucky knows that he's going to put a gun in his soulmate's face and pull the trigger.

~

Thirteen year old Tony wakes up feeling cold and hollow except for a sharp ache settling deep in his chest.

Apparently, it was stupid to be excited, just like Howard always said. Because now he knows that their first meeting involves his soulmate pushing him away.

Literally.

Tony knows that dreams are funny things. He read all about soulmate dreams and how easy it is to misinterpret them, how they tend to exaggerate, back when he was dumb enough to look forward to them. But he would swear that the shove felt hard enough to knock the air from his lungs, felt strong enough to throw him clear across the room.

The ache in his chest lingers the entire day, and every morning that he wakes up from the same dream, the pain is agonizingly fresh, digging a little deeper.

So Tony grows up and learns how to push people away first. He tells himself that when he meets his soulmate, he’ll be ready.

~

Bucky never tells anyone about the dream, even when his parents give him concerned looks. Eventually people stop asking.

Every time he has the dream, Bucky remembers a little more. His soulmate is dressed in mostly black, moving gracefully and carelessly through a room in chaos. His soulmate has gorgeous eyes and a wicked, beautiful smirk.

Every time, Bucky shoots his soulmate in the face and wakes up nauseous.

At least when he joins the army, no one else talks about their dreams either. Most nights, Bucky is too exhausted to dream at all, and it’s almost a relief when nightmares start to overtake the few times that he does.

~

Most nights, Tony drinks until he falls into a short, restless sleep, just to avoid the one dream he doesn't want to have.

He doesn’t want to see his soulmate’s cold, emotionless eyes. He doesn’t want the all-too-brief feeling of his soulmate's hand beneath his own before he's shoved away.

When Tony does dream, it’s of clenched fists, feeling frustrated, helpless. Feeling like his entire life is falling apart around him, and it’s all so stupid.

So he refuses to figure out any other details because he’s already going to have to live through it at some point. He doesn't want to know if that fleeting contact of hand against hand is a first meeting, doesn’t bother trying to remember anything about the large, bright room the dream takes place in or the people around them. He doesn’t care if it's a charity gala or something else. None of it matters.

Tony wakes up and drinks more.

He builds and smiles for the press. He does his best to not lose the few people he has, and tells himself that he won’t care when his soulmate doesn’t want him.

Sometimes he even believes it.

~

The Winter Soldier doesn’t dream at all.

Not during the short, fitful sleep he gets on missions. Certainly not while he’s frozen.

He forgets.

~

When the moment finally happens in real life, they don’t recognize it.

Bucky isn't in his right mind. He’s barely clinging to awareness past the hold of the conditioning in a room in chaos. He doesn't recognize the graceful motions of the gorgeous man who jumps into the fight, or the moment he points his gun in the man's face.

The bullet doesn't connect, and when Tony doesn't die, the Winter Soldier rips his hand away from Tony’s, shoves him across the room and knocks the air out of his lungs.

Tony isn’t thinking about the brief contact of his hand on Barnes’ over the barrel of a gun, of Barnes’ hand splayed across his chest. He’s thinking about the fact that his life is falling apart, and that he needs to stop a rampaging Winter Soldier. He doesn’t have time to think about the splinter itching at the back of his mind.

They don’t even notice when they stop having the dreams, after that moment.

~

Tony is alone in his workshop, in the too-empty compound, when it hits him that he doesn’t even remember the last time he dreamt of his soulmate.

It’s not just because he barely sleeps, not just because when he does dream it’s of his friends falling from the sky, of cities and worlds crashing to the ground. He’s spent so much time trying to ignore the dream, apparently he’s even been ignoring the fact that it’s gone.

It’s a stupid thing to be upset about.

Tony has always known how they would feel about him, known they wouldn’t want anything to do with him, but he still has to sit on the cold tile floor as his legs give out. He blinks back tears, wondering how far he must have fallen, if he doesn’t even deserve a soulmate who pushes him away anymore, doesn’t deserve anyone.

He wonders if his soulmate dreams about someone else now.

~

Bucky is in Wakanda, trying to find peace, when a doctor asks about the dream.

For a second Bucky doesn’t remember. And then he does. And he can’t breathe.

He doesn’t dream much anymore. When he does, it’s always nightmares. He hasn’t dreamt of his soulmate since before the war.

Before the Soldier.

And Bucky realizes he’s probably already killed his soulmate, and doesn’t even remember it. Everything goes fuzzy.

No one asks about the dreams again. Bucky has so many regrets to move past, he just shoves this one down with all the others. His soulmate is probably long gone. There’s no need to think about it.

So, he tries not to.

~

Having everyone back at the compound is exactly as awkward-as-hell as Tony thought it would be. It only makes him feel a little better that he’s clearly not the only one feeling it.

The reasoning is sound, the threat is coming, but that doesn’t mean Tony has to be happy about it.

But he smiles, shakes hands when he has to, and reminds himself this is for the best. He can bury his hurt feelings for the good of the world. He can be an adult, pretend everything is fine. He shows everyone to the residential wing, despite most of them already knowing their way around, and doesn’t meet anyone’s eyes as he says to make themselves at home.

Slowly, they start putting the team back together. There’s lots of talks about trust and honesty that feel hollow and stilted, but Tony supposes it’s progress.

They still work well together in the field, but that was never the Avengers’ problem.

Around the compound, though, the split remains obvious. Everyone seems torn between walking on eggshells and the urge to act like nothing’s changed even though it has, Tony among them.

The different sides of the war still give each other wide berths in the hallways, and Steve still stands protectively between Tony and his shadow of a best friend when they happen to run into each other in the gym.

Tony spins on his heel with a lazy wave, doesn’t even care if he’s too obvious. For just a moment, Tony’s gaze meets Barnes’ as he turns.

For just that moment, Tony finds himself caught in that deep blue stare before the doors slide closed behind him.

~

Bucky spends a lot of time wandering the compound.

He’s aware everyone thinks it’s a paranoid-perimeter-check thing, which it partially is. But it's also just him enjoying the novelty that he can spend his time wandering aimlessly. He can go where he wants when he wants, never has to sleep unless he chooses to.

He’s still getting used to it; remembering how to enjoy the freedom.

Which is how he runs into Stark in the kitchen at three AM, when he’s trying to outrun his nightmares. Tony is apparently making pancakes.

Bucky freezes in the doorway as they stare at each other. Just when he’s preparing to back away, Stark’s lips curl into a tiny smile. Stark tips his head towards the rest of the kitchen, obviously inviting him to stay instead. Bucky grabs an apple and sits at his usual spot at the far end of the table, trying to look comfortable, and it’s somehow easier than he’s expecting.

It’s only a couple minutes before Stark finishes making and neatly stacking his pancakes on a plate. Then he dumps everything in the dishwasher and shoots Bucky only the briefest look before leaving with his plate of food.

Bucky tells himself to avoid the kitchen around that time. He should give Stark some space, because he’s so clearly uncomfortable with everyone being back.

But two sleepless nights later, Bucky’s feet carry him on a familiar path without thought.

Stark is making waffles this time. He barely even looks up as Bucky takes up the same space at the table. Stark glances at him again as he’s preparing to leave, at the power bar Bucky’s been picking at, then transfers one waffle to a smaller plate. He sets the small plate on the table, just within Bucky’s reach. Then to Bucky’s surprise, Stark sits at the counter instead of leaving.

Bucky pulls the plate closer, and they eat in total silence. They’re not even facing each other and Bucky is actually a little relieved. He doesn’t know what to say to anyone these days, much less Stark.

It’s the first time they’ve done more than pass in the hallways, but it’s not as uncomfortable as it should be. When Tony stands to leave with a wave and a small, warm smile, Bucky finds himself disappointed.

~

As the weeks go by, Tony notices Barnes getting more comfortable around the compound, sometimes with Steve but most often alone.

Not that Tony lets himself wonder why he cares, why he scrolls through security feeds of the hallways like he needs to check on Barnes. It’s just morale has been slowly improving, and that’s the last bridge Tony has to mend. Or, the last bridge to build from scratch over a giant chasm, in this case.

He’s coming back late from a charity event, a little tipsy with plans to head to the lab, but gets sidetracked when he passes through the living room and realizes Barnes is on the couch watching Star Trek. Tony pauses for a second, filled with nostalgia, but he tells himself to leave Barnes to his marathon in peace.

To his surprise, Barnes looks at him with a tiny smile, unsure but devoid of suspicion or impatience. Tony sinks into an armchair, asking himself why. They proceed to watch four and a half episodes in silence.

Tony wakes up to Steve and Sam clomping through after their morning run, slumped down in the chair with a blanket carefully draped over him.

It becomes a habit, and Barnes becomes Bucky, even if they haven’t actually spoken yet.

So maybe Tony has FRIDAY alert him when Bucky is queuing up the next episode so he can head to the living room. After the first time, though, Bucky waits for him to arrive before hitting play and greets him with a smile that gets brighter every time.

Tony doesn’t let himself wonder about the why’s. Like why he spends so much time simply existing in the same room as Bucky, why that doesn’t feel awkward at all. Or why it seems to be the only thing that helps Tony ignore the empty pit in his chest.

One night, Tony realizes he hasn’t seen Bucky in a while. There’s been no marathon nights despite being due to start Next Generation. He tells himself it’s not creepy to flip through security feeds., He’s just curious how Bucky is spending his sleepless nights now.

Tony’s heart leaps into his throat when he finally locates Bucky on the roof of the hanger, standing on the ledge. He’s breathless by the time he makes it to the hangar, heart racing and legs shaking from the sprint. He doesn’t even know what he thinks is happening, except…

Bucky looks at him with wide, exhausted eyes when Tony bursts through the door, and he could swear Bucky’s shoulders drop in relief. Tony doesn’t have time to think. He just starts talking, because Bucky looks so haunted, and Tony knows a thing or two about distractions.

They’re still on the roof when the sun comes up., And Bucky has to stop pointing out all the constellations he can remember while Tony fills him in on the new star science he’s missed.

~

After the roof, something shifts.

Bucky can’t put his finger on exactly what it is, or even when it happens. But that one stilted conversation about the stars becomes less stilted conversations about whatever’s on TV becomes friendly debates about the merits of different toppings as they make pizza at midnight.

Before Bucky knows it, he feels like he’s home.

He finds a groove with his new life and starts branching out, starts connecting with the rest of the team. He’d almost forgotten what it felt like to be a person. To actually interact when he passes people in the hallway and eat with a group.

To be more than a ghost, to be part of something good.

Always though, he gravitates back to Tony. Because Tony actually makes him laugh and it fills a void in his chest Bucky has long gotten used to. Because Tony is always trying to do better and god Bucky wants to learn how.

Because when Tony’s been on an inventing binge, Bucky can trick him into taking a nap by putting on home improvement shows, and it makes Bucky feel like he’s doing something right. The team smirks when they walk in on Tony drooling on his shoulder, but it’s not like that.

He recognizes the look Steve and Natasha start to give him, smug and knowing. And fine, maybe Tony would have been exactly his type, before. But it’s not like that.

Because Bucky is the man who killed his soulmate. He doesn’t let himself think about that kind of thing.

~

When Bucky decides that he wants to officially join the Avengers, Tony leaps at the chance to make him new gear.

He does the same for the entire team, after all, making sure everyone’s safe. It doesn’t make Bucky special. No matter what the wide grins from Rhodey try to imply.

Tony just loves a challenge, loves the excuse to build something new. So maybe he gets more input from Bucky than anyone else, offers to help Bucky test all the gear on top of team training, but it’s not an excuse to spend more time together. He just sees what Bucky is trying to do, and he’s all too familiar with that struggle.

Despite the knowing looks from everyone, it doesn’t mean anything that he lets Bucky into the lab to see the prototypes, even if it is Tony’s only place of solitude in the compound. Even if eventually Bucky just hangs out there with him for hours.

Tony keeps telling himself it means nothing.

Watching Bucky try to teach DUM-E checkers is the final straw, though. Warmth fills Tony’s chest so fast and hard that he can’t breathe around it. And he finally admits that maybe it all means something.

But Tony is the man who doesn’t deserve a soulmate, who never even got to meet them. Who’s not sure he’d want to meet them anymore, as guilty as it makes him feel.

Maybe he can’t lie to himself anymore. Maybe he’s completely in love, but Tony knows better than to say anything.

~

Days spent in the lab with Tony run together in the best possible way. It’s a blur of playing with the bots, watching Tony create the future, and trying to convince him maybe the new reboots of Star Trek do have something to offer.

Bucky knows what a privilege it is to be here, to see Tony at his most relaxed and occasionally unhinged. He tries not to let it go to his head, give him ideas, even though every day he falls more in love. He’s even getting used to the pangs of guilt over the soulmate he should miss.

Until one day they’re watching a movie on the lumpy couch in Tony’s lab. When it’s revealed that Tony called the plot twist from the very beginning, he smirks at Bucky at just the right angle.

Bucky’s heart drops into the floor.

He knows that smirk. He’s seen it a thousand times in a thousand dreams, even if he hasn’t had it in years, he remembers.

And of course it’s Tony, who’s smart and gorgeous, graceful and just the right amount of wicked. Who Bucky already loves so much he can’t breathe sometimes.

Tony, who he still can’t possibly deserve.

So Bucky says nothing, as happy as he thinks he’ll ever be. Tony is here, alive. Bucky’s soulmate is too smart and too tough to die. Bucky gets to watch the way he laughs when their friends do something stupid, to watch Tony’s back in fights while they both try to do better.

He’ll never get to taste the edges of Tony’s smile, but he shoves that aside. Tony is alive. That’s more than enough.

~

Tony’s first thought when he wakes half-buried under rubble is that he’s officially over alien invasions. The second is that the power of the suit fading in and out, causing the concerned shouting over the comms to cut in and out, is really not helping with his throbbing head.

The aliens swarm into what’s left of the nightclub, stealing his attention before Tony can work up the breath to answer, and all the suit’s questionable power has to go to blasting the ones that get too close. The oversized bug-like soldiers just keep coming, and Tony starts to wonder if he’d be better off ditching the deadweight of the armor.

But he’s not sure he can make a run for it. His head is spinning and he’s dimly aware of blood filling the suit, and the aliens are still coming—

There’s a roar of approaching gunfire and then Bucky is bursting into the destroyed building, wielding a large knife and the only gun Tony has built in years.

And the thing is…Tony knows those movements.

He knows that brutal fighting style, the blank rage in those blue eyes. He recognizes the wrath of the Winter Soldier. He’d been dreaming of it most of his life.

Tony can’t believe he never put it together before, because of course it’s Bucky. Resilient and brave and so kind, Bucky who still deserves so much better than Tony. Of course.

Maybe it’s just easier to recognize him with unconsciousness trying to drag Tony under. Maybe Tony’s already dreaming.

He must be, because suddenly Bucky is leaning over him. His eyes are warm, and scared. Tony doesn’t know this part of the dream, doesn’t know what happens next.

Everything is going black. Tony struggles to find his words, to plead. To beg not to be shoved away again.

~

Bucky sits unmoving beside Tony’s hospital bed for three days, even though all he wants to do is run.

He saw the recognition in Tony’s eyes, he knows that Tony knows. He wants to leave before Tony asks him to, because what else could Tony want from a soulmate like him?

But that’s not what Tony had said. Tony asked him to stay while sounding so scared, so resigned. Like he knew Bucky wouldn’t and it was already breaking his heart.

So, Bucky stays.

He’s staring at his fists, trying to stop himself from wondering, when the heart monitor starts beeping triple time, giving away that Tony is awake. Bucky jerks his gaze up to meet Tony’s big brown eyes, watches the flashes of fear and hope that go through them.

Bucky knows he must look terrible, hasn’t slept or shaved in days. He’s barely eaten, and he can feel the lines of worry set into his face. But Tony’s still looking at him with something like awe, just because he’s here.

When Tony smiles nervously the wave of hope that crashes over Bucky nearly overwhelms him, could crush him beneath it.

Bucky smiles back.

[defjux]

Here's 100 of the albums from 2024 that i''ve enjoyed the most: 50 hip hop records, and 50 albums in other genres. There's still a ton of stuff I haven't gotten to yet or need to revisit, but i'm feeling pretty good about this and don't think too much would change aside from the order. Insane year for music overall, and surely there will still be some big releases in the next two months. Biggest surprise for me was definitely The Cure making a comeback after almost two decades and putting out their best album since Wish. I'm also convinced that Robert Smith is an actual vampire. he still sounds great after all this time. Charts with album titles included Again, i'm sure there's plenty of stuff that has gone under the radar for me so as always i'm open to recommendations. Let me know what your favorite records are, i'd genuinely like to know. I'll post the list of albums below, and maybe at the end of the year will do some kind of spotify playlist with one or two songs from each. Peace.

Hip hop:

ELUCID - REVELATOR

Ka - The Thief Next To Jesus

AKAI SOLO - DREAMDROPDRAGON

Mach-Hommy- #RICHAXXHAITIAN

Cavalier - Different Type Time

The Fortunate Ones - RESIN

Armand Hammer - BLK LBL

Dead Players - Faster Than the Speed of Death

ShrapKnel - Nobody Planning To Leave

Sunmundi & klwn cat - Lived and Born

Desert Camo - Desert Camo

Nakama - EMBERGO_

Lee Scott - To Tame A Dead Horse

Joshua Virtue - Black Box: JOSHUA IS DEAD

Freddie Gibbs - You Only Die ince

Navy Blue - Memoirs in Armour

Phiik & Lungs - Carrot Season

Nickelus F - MMCHT

Nuse Tyrant - Juxtaposed Echoes

Mary Sue - Voice Memos From A Winter In China

DJ Muggs & Raz Fresco - The Eternal Now

Revival Season - Golden Age of Self Snitching

Midnight Sons - Money Has No Owners

Tyler, the Creator - Chromakopia

Sasco - The Hottest Year on Record

Boldy James & Conductor Williams - Across The Tracks

Hester Valentine - Valenta

Mavi - Shadowbox

Serengeti - KDIV

JPEGMAFIA - I LAY DOWN MY LIFE FOR YOU

Rap Man Gavin & postureless - Memories, Dreams, Reflections

yungmorpheus - WAKING UP AND CHOOSING VIOLENCE

Sadistik & Maulskull - Oblivion Theater

Roc Marciano - MARCIOLOGY

R.A.P. Ferreira - the First Fist to Make Contact When We Dap

Deca & Dealz - Bough

Nxworries - WHY LAWD?

Oddisee - And Yet Still

Rich Jones & SINAI. - Sour Dub

Lupe Fiasco - Samurai

Noveliss & Hir-O - Cyberpunk Rhapsody

Cavalier & Quelle Chris - Death Tape 2: We Gon' Need Each Other

Killah Priest - Abraxas Rebis Simha Pleroma

Vince Staples - Dark Times

Kooley High & Tuamie - All Infinite

MIKE & Tony Seltzer - Pinball

Daniel Son & Futurewave - BUSHMAN BODEGA

Vic Spencer & August Fanon - Psychological Cheat Sheet 5

Jack Jetson & Illinformed - Winter Forever

bromethugzine - THUG ZINE issue 002: WORLD-SPIRIT

Everything else:

Chelsea Wolfe - She Reaches Out To She Reaches Out To She

Iglooghost - Tidal Memory Exo

chat pile - Cool World

Frail Body - Artificial Bouquet

The Cure - Songs Of A Lost World

Trauma Ray - Chameleon

Terry Green - PROVISIONAL LIVING

Gouge Away - Deep Sage

Thou - Umbilical

ØKSE - ØKSE

Tenue - Arcos, bóvedas, pórticos

Krallice - Inorganic Rites

Nala Sinephro - Endlessness

Punchlove - Channels

Milton Nascimento & Esperanza Spalding - Milton + esperanza

Arooj Aftab - Night Reign

Hammok - Look How Long Lasting Everything Is Moving Forward For Once

Blood Incantation - Absolute Elsewhere

Crumb - AMAMA

Kamasi Washington - Fearless Novement

Fievel Is Glauque - Rong Weicknes

Camila Bañados - Viento 1.

julie - my anti-aircraft friend

Oranssi Pazuzu - Muuntautuja

Skee Mask - Resort

Mary Halvorson - Cloudward

Infant Island - Obsidian wreath

Blushing - Sugarcoat

Godspeed You! Black Emperor - NO TITLE AS OF 13 FEBRUARY 2024 28,340 DEAD

MAGDALENA BAY - Imaginal Disk

Leaving Time - Angel in the Sand

Joel Ross - nublues

Both Gibbons - Lives Outgrown

geordie greep - The New Sound

Nilüfer Yanya - My Method Actor

Nails - Every Bridge Burning

Hiatus Kaiyote Love Heart Cheat Code

Liana Flores Flower of the soul

Babii - Daredeviil2000

Blind Girls - An Exit Exists

HERIOT - Devoured by the Mouth of Hell

Julia Holter - Something in the Room She Moves

Cindy Lee - Diamond Jubilee

Melt-Banana - 3+5

Ulcerate - Cutting The Throat Of God

Spirit of the Beehive - YOU'LL HAVE TO LOSE SOMETHING

Hannah Frances - Keeper of the Shepherd

Ginger Root -Shinbanguni

Martha Skye Murphy - Um

Pluma - Não Leve a Mal

[eye-of-enigmatic-thought]

Happy New Year! I hope you all had a good December! These were my contributions to the @welcomehomefanzine winter zine! I managed to do more art this time too! For my contributions I wanted to draw art on various Winter traditions from different cultures, such as also my own! If you decide to colour in any of these, please @ me!!

Also keep in mind, we are not affiliated with Clown or the team behind WH, we are just fans who love the work!!

I wrote more on all the artworks under the cut! Including the traditions they were based on!

First one was a little visual pun on the first verse of '12 Days of Christmas', Poppy is the partridge in the pear tree! Not much to say about this one, it's my only Christmas related thing! Second one was based on the Southern Welsh winter tradition of the Mari Lwyd. The Mari Lwyd is a hobby horse made from a horse's skull and is then decorated. It is puppeteered to go to the doors of various houses where its handlers will sing verses on letting it in to the home, you are supposed to sing back excuses on why you can't let it in, and if you relent, you invite the Mari Lwyd and its handlers in your home, where it will eat your food and alcohol and terrorise your children! The tradition and its true origins and meaning and even etymology is unknown, but it's thought to have ancient Pagan roots! It seems here, Eddie relented in his songs to it and regretted everything immediately after!

Third image is another Poppy centric piece because I love her. Here she is dressed up as a figure from Schnabelperchten! This is a tradition seen only in Rauris Valley in Austria and is a manifestation of Perchta, a goddess from Alpine Paganism that took the form of a old woman who'd punish misbehaving children by slitting their bellies. For Schnabelperchten, on the 5th of January, figures dressed in smocks, jackets, and a beak-like mask will visit various homes to check their upkeep and cleanliness all while emitting a soft 'ga ga ga', in more ancient versions of the legend, if you did not keep your living quarters in good enough conditions, the Schnabelperchten would slit open your belly and dump all the rubbish inside! Poppy would never do that though! No one tell her about that part!! Last but not least is one based on a tradition from my culture! Here you see the entire neighbourhood celebrating Yalda Night and spending time with one anotherThis is a Persian/Iranian festival with Zoroastrian roots held on the Winter Solstice. This day was traditionally seen as ill omened as being the darkest day of the year, the forces of Ahriman and his Deevs were most active, and so much of the day entailed family and friends getting together in good company. They would read stories and poems (especially the Shahnameh or poems by Hafez) with nuts and various fruits from previous harvests being served, watermelon and pomegranates being the most prominent! It was also encouraged to stay well up after midnight lest misfortune befall you! Due to it also being the longest night, it was also seen as the birthdate of the sun deity Mehr (or Mithra), as the subsequent days would get longer.

This was all fun to do and I hope I did all these traditons justice!! I am most likely missing out a lot on my explanations for them, so I hope I at least peaked your interest in these different Winter festivities enough to look into them on your own!

[fswintersdelight]

Four Swords: Winter's Delight 2023 is live and the event open!

It has been a lot of hard work, not only for myself, but also for all of our featured artists and writers, and for our technical editor. That said, it's finally here: Winter's Delight 2023, the e-zine.

You can view and download it, either by clicking on the image or by clicking here. It will take you to a PDF shared through Google Drive.

Alternatively, you can follow the instructions here to get a print copy.

The zine itself contains:

New fanart by nine artists

New fanfics by six writers

Three interviews with prominent and active fans in the Four Swords fandom

An overview of a fan's online shop with Four Swords themed items

Seven reading recommendations from fellow fans

The final results of the Fandom Awards

31 prompts for artists and writers in December

You might find the fanart posted by the individual artists on their social medias (full information on where to find them in the zine) throughout December. The fanfics might appear on Ao3, where our official collection for 2023 is Winter's Delight: A Four Swords Calendar (2023).

We invite all fans of Four Swords, on Tumblr or elsewhere, to join us in making this December a creative and joyful month for the fandom. Use the prompts (or not), take inspiration from other artists and writers (or not), and share what you create (please do!). Even if you don't consider yourself a creator of any sort, we would love for you to feel like you can test the waters this December.

Our themes this year are WINTER and COZY NIGHTS, so if you create anything pertaining to these, feel free to tag us (@fswintersdelight) so that we can see and share your creation with others! Our overall guidelines for participation can be found here, and an individual post with our December prompts here.

Finally, I want to take a moment to thank everyone who has made this zine special: our general editor, @pokegeek151; our artists, @astrolabe-blade, @dergshadow, DKS01 Gaming, @fourswordsfairworld, @kaenith, @mckittyarts, @nextik, @sleepygremlin11, and @umbrenshadow; our writers, @1esor2, @adel-memes, @vagueandominousvibes, @zarvasace, @pokegeek151, and @hey-adora; and our interviewees, @hauntinghyrule, @hey-adora, and @zarvasace. This zine would never have seen the light of day without you. Thank you.

Hugs, spice, and all things bright,

Kalh

PS: We're testing printed options for those who might want a hard copy. Assuming it works as it should, we will provide the necessary documents and instructions for individual printing through Lulu.

[muitamaita]

Here is my submission to DBTR-server's zine, this time we had folklore and fairytales as our inspiration, see the other amazing artists behind the link!

My little comic was inspired by my favorite folklore ghost story, which in Finland is usually called "The Dead Travel Light" or "The Dead Travel", it is a "dead bridegroom carries off their bride"-type folktale, the most famous version is the German Lenore-ballad. In these tales two young people are lovers, and the bridegroom is send away to work or to war, where he suddenly dies. One night he arrives to fetch his bride, but she has no idea he is a walking dead as news of him dying have not reached her. He tries to carry her to his grave, but the bride is saved the last moment.

In the Finnish version we have some special features I wanted to incorporate, such as it is always a cold winter night and the bridegroom arrives on a horse drawn sleigh instead of riding.

I have brought the story to BG3 here, as I found Astarion's story is a perfect fit to it. Bride's part is played by my Tav Eris.

[rememberingyoi]

Our tenth applicant is Risa (@animatedrisa, also found on Twitter) who will also be submitting art to the zine! Here’s one of her previous and very gorgeous art pieces, more of which you can find through her accounts. We look forward to sharing her contribution to the project with you :)

Thank you so much for joining us! <3

[stiltonbasket]

MXTX Food Zine: Fic Preview!

Hello everyone! The MXTX Food Zine will be out on October 31, so here's a preview of my entry (part of a fic-and-art collaboration with the wonderful @stardustinjune❤️).

For the first two summers of her once-again mortal life, Shi Qingxuan did not so much as dream of following a new cultivation path, or regaining her lost divinity.  She could not tell why, exactly. It was not that she thought herself unfit for any life other than a vagrant’s, or imagined that her suffering might appease the man whose destruction had been the price for her three-hundred-odd years of joy in the heavenly courts. Nor did she believe that the way back to godhood was forever barred to her—Pei Ming was one of many who would have gladly taken her in as a junior official, if she had been willing—but she was not, and for those two years, she and the rest of the beggars in the capital wandered from place to place like strands of milkweed cast adrift on the wind.  It hadn’t been a bad life, so far as such things go. Hunger came and went like the wind, for busking was only so easy with a broken arm and leg, and she passed far fewer nights with a roof over her head than without one; but she and the strange family she fell into were happy together in their own way.  And then one of the children fell ill, early in the second winter.  They scraped together enough money for a doctor and medicine; and then for another doctor, and advice from a second apothecary when the first prescription did not work. But the second doctor could not help, either. Little Tang Xiao grew worse by the day; and at last, with no other recourse left to her, Shi Qingxuan made her way to an abandoned wind and water temple and prayed for the child to be spared. When she looked up, she was no longer alone. On the place where the old Lady Wind Master statue had stood, there was a living woman dressed in robes of verdant green; and when Shi Qingxuan lifted her head, she found herself looking at the smiling face of Yushi Huang.

You can check out more zine previews at @mxtxfoodzine! Most of our entries will be posted to AO3/social media on November 7, 2024.

[thehallstara]

hi hello it's both itch creator day AND my birthday so this is a perfect excuse for me to do a master post of my games and zines!!!

Collabs:

Agami Village: Created with Weiwei Xu as part of last year's HES SUPERFestival, supported by Hand Eye Society and Canadian Council for the Arts. It's a short visual novel about fishing and time loops!

ghost story: A short prototype of a first person murder mystery where you're a ghost trying to solve your own murder. Done as a final project for Code Coven's Intro to Game Making course back in the winter.

(neither of these are purchasable but if you try them and like them you can always send a kofi!!)

Bitsy:

on nights we dream of stars: a semi-autobiographical story about stars. mostly just me figuring out how bitsy works.

on the nature of ghosts: small vignette about ghosts made for the february 2022 bitsy jam.

the end is near: a soliloquy about the end of the world, done for both the july 2022 bitsy jam and crabjam 2022. inspired by s24 for of blaseball but wholly independent to it.

lungs to burn: a short poem game about wildfires, grief, and queer connection done for the may 2023 bitsy jam. featured in indiepocalypse #43

no postage required: a somewhat-sequel to the end is near; or a letter to a lost love. done for the 2023 trans game dev server jam.

Twines:

cards fall where they may: anthology of interactive blaseball stories told through a tarot reading. some of the most impressive css i've done to this day, and i honestly think it's worth checking out just for that.

ablaze with the people you've been: another interactive story, this one a story about edric tosser told in four acts. still worth checking out even if you know jack shit about blaseball imo and still one of my favourite things i've ever made.

run from me or rip me open: the thing that started it all, the first game i ever made. yet another blaseball story; it's a little rough around the edges but it's got heart.

Zines:

Kriah: A personal zine about my experiences with antisemitism over the years. a heavy read but one i would implore gentiles to take a look at regardless.

square roots: made with @tigerquoii for the 2022 blaseball zine jam. a series of conversations.

and that's it!!! all of them (besides the collabs) are pay what you can, forever and always. if you've ever enjoyed something i've made, consider supporting me and my projects! and if you can't, rating and comments are always equally appreciated mwah