#a passive acceptance that this is how it's going to have to be?
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The Boys with a Stomach Bug (AGSZC)
We saw them with their SO/roommate/friend, now we see how they would act if they were the sick ones!
Angeal:
Mournfully turns into a sad depression rock and hides. He would keep working, but he's responsible enough to know that he's contagious. He tries to take home a huge stack of work, but he can't finish it because he's too miserable.
Passively tries to hint that he wants someone to take care of him, but won't say it outright.
"No, no, it's alright, I wouldn't want you to get sick too..." *Sad cough, despite not being sick with a cough*
He will accept glasses of water delivered to his door, but only if you press him, and he will refuse to let you in.
He will struggle through alone with vaporub on his elbows, powdered Gatorade in a gallon-sized jug, a raw piece of ginger root on his nightstand, and potato peels in his socks.
Genesis:
Canonically, he will make it everyone else's problem too.
Hugging the toilet, asking the goddess why she hath forsaken him. Hugging a bucket, sitting on the SOLDIER common room sofa, asking why no one cares if he dies. Hugging a pillow, asking why Angeal is in the kitchen instead of here with him.
He will try to stay at work, only to dramatically run out of his office to the closest executive bathroom and loudly get sick every hour until he's forcibly sent home.
He will complain about every little annoyance and text regular updates and beg Momgeal to bring him something else.
He will get half the SOLDIERs sick and cause massive staffing shortages.
Sephiroth:
Never gets sick and everyone hates him for that.
HOWEVER, if he gets experimented on or recklessly eats gas station sushi, he turns into the saddest, loneliest, wettest kitten and quietly shuts himself away, wishing for his mother.
If he's expected at work, he attends and just looks miserable the whole time until Lazard sends him home.
He's quieter than Angeal, and doesn't solicit or refuse help, because he doesn't think he deserves it, and is too confused to refuse when it shows up.
He also doesn't help himself. He stays hydrated and minimizes mess, meaning he spends a lot of time lying on the bathroom floor and drinking from the tap until he's operational again.
Where is momther?
Zack:
Gets suddenly and violently ill in the middle of practice.
He doesn't ask for people to show up and take care of him, but they can't help themselves and show up anyway.
As soon as they're in his apartment, he's excited to have friends, but it's pathetic to see, because instead of squatting, he tries a wobbly, tearful grin.
He's not demanding, but he asks for a lot and prefers not to be alone. He likes to sit on the couch, and will ask for popsicles please and soup and water and juice if you don't mind, and then he'll throw up because he tried it too soon.
He recovers quickly and thoroughly, and is jokingly hated for it because what was a 24 hour bug for him has the rest of SOLDIER (who he infected) needing a week off at a time.
He's forgiven, because he's really sweet and helpful to everyone else.
Cloud:
Can't afford time off, so throws up into random bushes and keeps stumbling forward.
He's given 12 hours of leave after he passes out from dehydration and sickness mid-patrol, which means he returns still sick and passes out again.
This time they drop him off in the infirmary to suffer alone until he's cleared for duty.
He's miserable and just sleeps as much as he can and survives out of spite.
He mostly wants to be left alone to perish in peace and is agonizing over how this is going to disqualify him from SOLDIER somehow, until Zack calls.
He doesn't tell Zack what happened until Zack weasels it out of him. Then Zack shows up with Kunsel and a massive cauldron of Angeal's soup.
Cloud pretends to hate it, but secretly soaks up the attention like a sponge until he gets embarrassed and pretends to fall asleep while Zack sings to him.
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it was just going to be a few warmup doodles but then she infected the rest of the page like the ever eternal and spreading spores. hod!!! hod. hod :)
#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#hod#hod lobcorp#lobotomy corp spoilers#I GUESS i almost forgot i drew her box form#lobcorp spoilers#and michelle actually. ..#both very tiny. itty bitty. microscopic#other sephirah there too as normal. i cant have her alone. and Angelina as well on the top patting her#i have a hard time fully capturing her for some reason. in my mind. maybe its because is the disconnected period!!! mentally#she genuinely wishes to care and be kind yet theres a dissonance with what she does..? or how it ends up being taken or what she does to en#up bringing those actions into reality. she can be forceful? wanting to have employees attend therapy sessions and meetings for suppression#tactics. which i think is also something the safety team is incharge of iirc. so that means shes doing way more that what she needs to on#her job as a sephirah. just for the sake of employees#she really does care as shes one of the only to Directly attempt to change their circumstances and quality of life and health#sure chesed doesnt punish employees when they dont do their work assigned or stress them out with work#but he doesnt actively push to attempt to make changes to aid employees besides the research perks which is to the manager#yesod IS right next to her and does also genuinely care but when it comes to employees hes distant at best when it comes to them and the#way he tries to protect them is by enforcing rules but he doesnt really create or attempt to help them like hod does#yesod is sort of a passive? way of doing it. yes he doesn make a push to enforce said rules but he doesnt make new ones. just follows what#is already there in place. hod tries to make new ways and not just for the safety of people like how yesod's has them physically fine and#not letting them over a certain threshold of mental corruption but she tries to have a program to Directly Address such a thing#its born out of care but the genuine worry of being a good person and her naivety ends up having it do more harm than good#sure there may be some employees that actually like and find it useful but so many are just accepting to their fate of Dying to where#her care seems pointless. shes a sephirah and to them a literal metal box why would they go ahead and feel bad for what an 'ai' is feeling#as she is interrupting their free time in the company#which is rude. and shit. iirc the counseling is compulsory but people go because shes a sephirah and their superior. the thought was there#but again it comes off wrong and ends up not working because shes their superior in the end#EEK!!! yeah... hod. the hod. there is WAY more but i can't fit it all here and i already typed enough
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what is going on w my brain
#huge tag rant coming but dw about it#basically. if anyone here has known me on the internet for long enough yous will have gathered that i badly struggle w motivation and#fulfilling goals that i set for myself even if it's for smth i enjoy eg languages#it happens so often but especially over summer where my brain just goes Nope#“i have all this free time to do the thing I've been planning for weeks and i've been so excited about planning but now we have the time i#will be numb and sad and scroll“#i also have huge problems focusing unless every factor is perfectly balanced and even then it's still 50/50#i do have a bad attention span from being chronically online but even if you put me in a blank room w my task i'd be distracted by thoughts#external deadlines are some of the only things that can kick me into gear and i've been fine at uni so far#but i'm scared i'll have another a levels situation where my mental health was so awful i missed every essay deadline for french for 2 years#sometimes by up to a month#the only reason i got away w it is because i had a breakdown in front of my teacher and he was like “yeah take care of yourself the essays#are not that deep just get them in first thing after half term ig“#like that was v kind of him but if i ever have a situation that bad again i will genuinely fail uni cus you can't get away w that#where was i going w this (<- is aware of the irony)#right yeah this week i've experienced the epic highs and lows#highs of really enjoying my downtime and putting active effort into my hobbies instead of my downtime being “scrolling but i don't hate it”#but lows of realising how much time i 'wasted' in my teen years feeling sad and scrolling when i could have been developing skills and#having fun#and yeah i'm having a high rn and genuinely enjoying life but it's making me realise that my default state of being is just 😐#like even when i'm at uni where my mental health is so much better than at home when it's just me home alone or in my room i'm just 😐#not really having fun just existing v passively mindlessly scrolling waiting for the day to be over so i can see my friends in the morning#like not every day has to be amazing but surely there's more to life than just 😐 in 99% of your downtime#like i've struggled for years on how to answer “what do you do in your free time” cus i had to search for answers#i read and go on walks. which is true. but they were always things i did as phone breaks during weekends and not something i actively did#because i liked them#and because of past mental health issues reading and sports based hobbies have become tainted for me#i'm working on it but yeah#huge tldr. i'm finally starting to accept that i probably have a combo of undiagnosed mental illness and neurodivergence#because if it's taken me this long to realise how much it truly impacts my enjoyment of life then surely that's smth
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i love you mr. revvington
#chip revvington#another repost but alas i don't have the HQ version anymore#original context for this was something about “normalize accepting your fave isnt a good person” and i was like. yeah. and made this#i think about how mean he is so much#he's definitely a very strict and stern boss as well. beyond the override he's the type of boss to want his employees to give their 110%#the override and very likely abuse from craig is probably just adding to it#he's not an abusive boss but he definitely would overwork his employees (he would believe in paying them fairly though)#this isnt even getting into the fact he clearly thinks toons are just animals#little thangs that keep invading his office and ruining his day by setting off the override and whatnot#he begs for help and tells the toons to run. sure. but like. the override SUCKS#the shift from his site profile to his interview. the timespan for that had to be within two weeks and while he was very interested in job#he still was like “i dont want to talk about that” regarding the rumors question.#then you have him ingame where he's extremely reserved and passive like “can you go away?” that's. so different compared to his interview
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Jason, especially in that one Teen Titans comic, often complains about the lack of pants he has. And I'm haunted thinking about that at all times
#he clearer wanted to have pants. or at the very least. something more suited for cold environments#boy was in the fucking arctic. pantless. and then teased for asking how wonder woman wasnt cold. he cant catch a break 😔#its just so weird. so wild#im not sayijg. entirely. that bruce was forcing jason to have the same costume as dick with no changes for him#but also.#he was. like he was clearly stated in comics to be doing that with thw whole#makikg him go by robin making him wear the robin costume saying he is robin now. not acknowledging him as like a different robin#no villains really pointed out. only harvey bullock did. i miss harvey bullock so bad#like. its more of a subtle hes not allowed to change it. where i dont think he really thinks he can ask#wpuld jason habe been able to get pants if he directly asked? well.#i want to give bruce the benefit of the doubt and say yes#lets just say that#amd obviously this changed with tim#probably bc the writers wanted to steer clearer of making a possible dick clone or copy#but like in universe#bruce either realized making your kid dress uo as your other kid is kinda fucked. wanted tim to have more protection#couldn't stand tim looking like jason. or tim was firmer in getting a new suit where jason was more passive about for many possible reasons#or something else. who knows. its all up to you#he doesn't even have like a winter suit or something. dang. bruce you're a million billionaire or whatever#you can afford fancy heaters in both suits but you cant make robin some spare pants. he was in the arctic.#i dont careee they were just walking to the fortress which was warm. he had no pants OR long sleeves#when jason was left to his own devices to make his own suit he had covered legs and arms. the shorts is not whats in his heart#why DONT they have winter or colder weather outfits huh.#i can forgive the robin uniform because yknow running around working out working up a sweat#but my disbelief can only be suspended so far#when snows involved i simply cannot accept it#but thats leaning away from canon and more going into “if i could whatever i wanted and redesign them to be vaguely more practical”
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occasionally getting so mad about what they did to maya 5 years after the fact that i have to take a break from writing a maya scene in my fics and just be really fucking mad about her
#made the mistake of alluding to her being raised by a cult and like. whoops.#she wouldn't have gone back to athenas to protect them! they weren't pacifists!!! they wanted her to be their weapon!#there's no reason to go there to learn about sirens she left there because they couldn't teach her about#sirens!!! that's why she went to pandora! she would not become a mom and passively accept death!!!#kinda funny how they tried to make it 'better' in the krieg dlc but what they really did was retroactively turn her death into#'woman fridged to fuel a man's angst' (like. i shipped them from the start but god...no...)#(if i ever fit aurelia into a fic I will flat out never get any fic writing done)
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Not triggering just personal
I really need to vent about being asexual and sex repulsed but I feel like no one will understand and I get how a lot of the things I think will sound but I really just need to for once get these thoughts off my chest without having them being morally appraised because they *aren't* my morals, they're just things I can't change.
And I don't want people to TRY to change it either! Or to try to figure what ~hOrRiBle trAuMas~ could have possibly made me "this way". It's not that I think there's nothing wrong with me, it's just that this thing needs to stay neutral to me if I ever expect to actually understand it. I want people to stop morally appraising and physcoanalyzing my sexuality through the lense of inherent trauma!!
I just want to talk about this without feeling like I need to put a disclaimer before every sentence, explaining why I feel the way that I feel. I don't know ok! I don't know why I feel the way that I feel sometimes. I'm just doing my best and I wish more people would understand that. Maybe you don't get an explanation because this is my identity and doesn't need to be justified. I just want to understand myself.
#anyway that felt good#i hope this helps you guys understand in case i ever post some of the thoughts i was referring to here#i hope this helps you guys understand how big of a deal my asexuality actually is#its not just passively accepted#i have quite literally had to mask my asexuality MORE than my autism#i want to talk more about this but anytime i do at least one person is always there#suggesting im only asexual because of trauma or asking me what the fuck im talking about because i said something about being sex repulsed#or saying 'i used to be asexual too' -_- please just dont say this to me#im trying so hard to be a good person even when my deepest instincts go against some of my morals#i dont know if i can ever change those things either#i dont know whats worse#the idea that i need to be fixed somehow to better fit mine and everyone elses idea of a better and more likeable person#or the thought that this disgust is inherent to who i am and can never be changed#it hurts so much you dont understand#it hurts so much to think that rationally its good to accept people expressing their sexualities in healthy ways#but to be consumed by this contradictory instinct that make me recoil in disgust from even the people i love#it hurts and i just need someone to acknowledge that and that im trying and that it is difficult#and maybe even that its not my fault... though idk if id really go so far as to believe that#i wish i could've chosen to be anyone else sometimes
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fr id be so sad if i had to cut enzos hair down but if i cant get my shit together soon that might be what has to happen until im in a better/more stable position. part of it is that it keeps getting Longer and so i have to groom more frequently and for longer sessions. this is also the most harrowing time in a havanese dogs life (around 9-18 months) when theyre 1) dealing with adolescence and 2) have a chance of having a very difficult coat change (blowing puppy coat and developing the undercoat, which in non-shedding breeds can cause some messy, easily matted hair!)
as a result enzo has been losing a lot of confidence on the grooming table and is less tolerant of it. He's not getting pissy or biting at all, just wiggly and low key stressed, which sucks bc he needs to be up there for me to deal with his crazy teen hair =_= The crazy hair is making him even Worse because sometimes theres a bit of a mat i need to get out (at this point i have been clipping them out to avoid causing him discomfort)
it's also spring, which means theres a ton of burrs and seeds everywhere, and the grass is growing tall. so every time we go outside he gets so many little things in his hair. it's a nightmare sometimes LMAO
#gab gabs#literally got a little reel mower so i can at least cut down the grass in my yard#i hate grass but i have a landlord#pray for me#we are working on some cooperative care techniques and handling exercises#but no one ever talks about how youre supposed to keep up with hair maintenance consistently when training isnt finished but your dog has#urgent and ever present grooming needs#this is probably why so many havanese breeders and showdog people use a more balanced and non R+ approach#no ones out here punishing their dogs its more like#they do NOT go cooperative care route#they use very light force#its not cruel but it can be hard for some dogs and owners (me) to adjust to#but i do think cooperative care is pssible im just not a great trainer#also fwiw all the breeders i know do praise and treat their dogs and will not push a dog that is having a major panic attack. they just#set expectations for the dog to hold still and be mostly passive and not interfere with the groom#and usually dogs are rewarded after!#also most of them consistently groom from puppyhood onward which means theyre more likely to be accepting of the process as they age#my dog has always been a little uncomfortable with it but he was getting better#just a bit of a teenage regression#SORRY FOR RANT LMAO
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i think if i dont get a new job soon i am going to kill myself
#like im making absolute dirt shit money i cant save up even w/ over time and ive been fucking my health into the ground#to the point where im on MEDS for STRESS to cure my fucking STOMACH PROBLEMS#like. i cant digest food bc of STRESS. that is fucking insane i make minimum wage#i just need a normal 9 to 5 with weekends off how does every other adult manage that do those even exist anymore#where are all these $20/hr jobs old people complain about i dont see them#like i cant go back to school bc its awful and people are awful but work is so much worse#the assistant manager came into my twitch chat to talk about work how did i even get in that situation.#why would anyone think thats acceptable or okay#why does a 40 y/o man think im his best friend kill me kill me right now i am in hell#every day is just so fucking uncomfortable and disgusting my customers are disgusting and creepy#i am a fucking 20 year old get the fuck away from me#why cant i just be like a bank teller or smth and make enough money to move out of this god forsaken state in like a year#i dont even have my own life i have so much stuff and never do anything with it bc im always working or tired from working#i dont think bank tellers have to deal with crackheads screaming at them and calling the police bc they cant login to google#or not having a work schedule for a month bc the district manager just cannot be bothered#i think its a great job for normal people that arent constantly too high off their ass to hold a conversation#definitely wont have the same problems i do now itd be new problems#like passive aggressive 30 y/o women drama#be a nice change of pace
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I was chatting with my 弟弟 from China who's been in NYC for less than a year, and manz was talking about how he's afraid of taking the subway. I was damn shook, because that means he's been walking to our gym and hasn't seen much of the city.
He explained that people would push him, and just walking on the street people would try to shove or fuck with him and make racist remarks.
I was just like, "说出难听话,这些事我早习惯了。”
His response was, “我知道我该习惯上,但是我不想。”
#cw racism#cw anti asian hate#i always stick up for myself and those around me so i don't mean this in a passive way#but every time you step out the door and go exploring the city you do run the risk of being racially harassed or attacked#and the tension is something i have to live with especially now#every time you choose a fight you accept the risk that comes with it#i think every time someone from asia comes west they can't stand even a little bit of microaggression#and then they can't believe that this is just how i live#it's just a reality check every time that this is not okay#tears falling like peridots
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anyway. i am going to be SO incredibly livid and angry and throwing an absolute tantrum on thursday if i dont get good feedback on my script.
#and by good i mean anything actually helpful not just 'omg wow this is amazing' tho ofc that's acceptable too#like a month back now u. might remember that the day i was supposed to get feedback on my outline i literally ended up#holding back tears in class bc it was so. just. pointless and rude and genuinely not helpful#and last week everyone was soooo boring about the scripts that were due like no one was giving helpful critiques or anything#it was all just sooo insufferable u people are not being constructive about like actually helping someone develop their story or whatever#ur just being stupid. and by that i mean it. like they didnt even try to just understand the humor or worldbuilding of this one kid's scrip#t it pissed me off.#and i actually had fun with my script finally it's a first draft so u know it's gonna have its weak spots but eye had fun hanging out#w my girls <3 so. if people could attempt to be helpful this time around that'd be awesome.#like last time a few people made snide comments like 'um about this - well i can't even remember this one's name' hey girl. you could#probably look at the very contained outline i wrote that's right in front of your face instead of saying annoying shit like that to the#writer's face!#the vibes have just been off. that class was so fun for a while and lately it's been such a bitch fest.#they were so mean about mine and my friend's i think people r jealous that that's our bestie prof's class but like. he doesnt treat us any#kind of way you know. and he's supportive of everyone like u dont have to make this weird#sorryyyyy for complaining about what i THINK is wrong with everyone but like! idek how to deal with their passive aggressive shit anymore#they're mean to each other too sometimes#just gonna go crazy with it on thursday#abby talks
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I mean like. Not to bring the mood down but... you guys know that's because American media is everywhere right? Like the world is unable to avoid some version of American accent on a regular basis. Of course ppl find it easy to mimic. This is absolutely not restricted to ppl in the UK, its really common for ppl who learn English as a foreign language to have perfect 'American actor' accents (cause the reason everyone's so good at the American accent that's expected of them as actors is cause at large there's little distinction between regions in the 'Hollywood accent' that ends up on TV and films and stuff. You guys have massive regional differences in pronounceation, but what makes it on to TV (in 9/10 cases) is a very standardised version of American English.)
But yeah. It's not just actors lol. Most British ppl can speak in a passable american accent, as can loads and loads of people worldwide. I'm not saying this to be like 'you should feel guilty! 😡' but it does always stun me when Americans are unaware of the impact their country has worldwide on all versions of English (and even on use of native languages. Many countries are using English more and more over their native languages and dialects , and yeah, historical colonialism has had an impact there.)
But in the last few decades things have progressed way way faster and that, is thanks to the impact of anglo/american/ect lead capitalism. I'm in no way dismissing the impact the UK has on this, but in recent years, its the US that is largely pushing that train .While the UK and several English speaking commonwealth countries are very involved in this kind of capitalist imperialism, there's a reason that more and more people are speaking American English. Not one of the many UK dialects, not Australian English, or NZ English. Across the world more and more people are increasingly speaking in the same standardised american dialect that's in so much of the media you export. Hollywood based media, with that standardised accent/ dialect and the standardised 'normal american life', has a stranglehold on the world and I just find it crazy that a lot of you guys don't even know.
It's stupid stuff like. So many countries are importing american cars and are widening their roads/ changing town planning to account for it (this is less of a thing in the UK but I see it more and more when I travel). Its the food becoming avaliable everywhere. Its the influence that for profit healthcare has even on countries with socialised health systems. Its houses being built to account for American style appliances. Fashion trends. Worldwide, everything is slowly evolving to be closer and closer to this 'American standard' which honestly? I really don't think actually represents the lives of real American people either. You've been turned in to products, the system has taken an unrealistic snapshot of 'American life' and it's being sold to you all day in day out, but it's also being sold to the rest of us. It's being pushed on us all.
Kids in the UK go through phases of talking only in American accents. Anyone born later than the 90s is carrying round 2 sets of spelling and vocab, cause we're all so used to the American way, that you barely know which one you're using half of the time. In the UK we have always had really strong regional accents yeah, and dialects differ between areas that seem tiny to you guys, I know. But like. Those dialects are being lost cause all UK accents are evolving to become closer to this standardised american and yeah not great, but at least we share a language! US American society is largely rooted in the same foundations as UK society, largely we have the same flaws! But oh my god. What about the rest of the world.
It's global. This impact continues to be seen, steamrollering ahead, in places that had completely different starting points. UK culture isn't that dissimilar to that of the US, so we aren't losing nearly as much as cultures that had something completely different. So much is being lost.
Languages and dialects and everything else is just being wallpapered over so we all meet the same ideal of the 'American life' and it's not even real! It's just a product based on how ppl were actually living in the US, manipulated until it's the most marketable mould. You guys are victims of it as well but like. It's based on your culture so you don't lose as much if you conform to it. Just like how in the UK, if we conform, we lose more than US, but nowhere near as much as countries that had languages, dialects and cultures that were so so different to UK/US culture. The less like the US, your starting point, the more there is to lose.
And look. I said it to start with. I'm not having a go. That's not what this is. But you guys really need to be aware, you need to make an effort to understand the impact that this plastic Hollywood american culture is having on the rest of the world. You need to actively look for it, and make an effort to not pay in to it. Because when Americans see other cultures represented in media and say its not relatable, when you guys go on holiday and make no effort to learn local customs, and try and pay in dollars and spend your time abroad like you're still in America, when you see cultural differences and immediately argue that the American way is better and of course everyone should have giant cars and never dry laundry outdoors and live in American style homes, without any kind of critical thought. Just 'this is how we do it so why wouldn't everyone else do it this way. This is the only way. The American way is obviously best.' When you guys do that you are individually feeding in to this absolute bulldozing of cultures (including American ones!) to allow for better marketability.
It isn't any one individual American citizens fault that things are the way they are, and you guys are victims of the same system, but you need to have some self awareness when it comes to the fact that as individuals you are unknowingly, helping driving this forwards and as individuals, there are things you can do to limit your personal impact (and no arguing that you have no culture is not it!!! Being all self deprecating doesn't do shit. Take some responsibility and accept that individual Americans didn't create this system, but currently, individual Americans really are doing their bit to keep promoting it, to keep pushing it on the rest of the world.
And I've already rambled for an age so I'll stop here but I just want to make clear as an ending note here, that this really isn't about piling on Americans and being all 'boo it's all America's fault. They should apologise. Their culture isn't worth anything.' Not at all this is the opposite of that. The fact that millions of Americans have been convinced you have no culture, all while a mimicry of American culture is plastered on to the rest of the world, and while you as individuals are encouraged to help that happen, often without even realising what you're doing; is a crime. You've been wronged, as have we all.
And America is not the problem. The problem is imperialism and it didn't start with you guys. It started in Europe, and Europeans, particularly British ppl, have a responsibility to push back and be self aware, take some fucking responsibility and not inadvertently keep feeding in to that system, just as you guys do. The US didn't start the fire, imperialist capitalism is a fire that started burning long before the United States was even considered, but its on all of us, to do what we can to not feed that fire. And right now? You guys are the face of it.
This idea of what America is, is the face of imperialistic capitalism, and that means that even if you don't mean to, you guys are feeding that fire more so than the rest of us. You're responsible for spreading it, more so than the rest of us. And if you don't step up and take responsibility, accept that you're gonna get it wrong sometimes and you need to try to do better; if we don't all do that. There will be nothing left. They'll paper over it all, the lives of real Americans just as much as those in Scotland and India and the Netherlands, and 100 other cultures, that are at risk, thanks to this fire, that's currently, largely coming from America.
So yeah. It's absolutely not just on you guys and ppl who act like there's no racism or wealth divide in Europe or anywhere else for that matter are complete idiots, however, this Americanisation of the world (and I hesitate to call it that. Because its not a representation of real American lives. Its simply wearing an American face.) Its real. It's happening.
And we don't tell you about it to make you feel guilty (those of us who aren't dicks at least) ,we are telling you. We are kicking up a fuss. Because it isn't fair. It's not right and while individual Americans ignore that and refuse to take responsibility where they can (small apples. We aren't asking for you to call a violent revolution in our names. Just take some time to learn about the rest of the world. Stop assuming America is always right and examine your biases. When you find them. Stop personally pushing them.) , while that is happening, as individuals, you are contributing to this. It's not even altruism. This system is hurting Americans too. It's hurting us all. All we ask is that you do what you can to not personally contribute, and keep an open mind, be aware. That's all any of us can do.
when a british actor does an american accent everyone’s like “i didn’t even know they were british until they were on colbert.” but when americans do a british accent everyone’s like “they’re supposed to be from east cocksford but their glottal e’s are north dicksford. shameful.”
#so yeah sorry to rant but honestly#I'm so tired of ppl refusing to take responsibility on every side of this#imperalistic cruel capitalist regimes going 'well hey. at least we aren't America. this is their fault.'#meanwhile. Americans contribute to the bulldozing of their own cultures to make room for a capitalist monster wearing them as a mask#and if you call out any Americans or make them aware of something they are doing individually that isn't helping. it's either#refusing to see/ accept their own bias. or just as bad! yes! just as bad!!! america is beyond help. there's nothing worth saving#nothing we can do. that's bullshit and making stupid excuses like 'oh our schools don't teach us to respect other cultures'#'we don't know how.' fucking learn! try! that's all anyone asks of you. nobody cares about your schooling. school is shit for working class#ppl in most countries!#you think the english curriculum is any more balanced? we're subjects of a colonial empire. it's propaganda and its not even competent!#i don't think the average American understands how many more hours of schooling they get vs a lot of places. I'm not saying it's right#but teaching time? you guys have longer school days and you stay in school till youre older. our national curriculum ends the year we turn#16 in the UK. year 11 finishes in June. you can leave school 2 months shy of 16 to get a supermarket job. (and many working class ppl do)#and our government still pat themselves on the back and say its eqv. to high school finishing at 18 in other countries. like for context.#i haven't had a geography lesson since i was 13. my last english lesson? i was 15. that's completely normal here. so yeah. the#'our schooling was shit so we can't use Google to learn a bit of geography' falls pretty fucking flat. sorry.#they should have done better by you but they didn't. join the queue. do what you can and take some fucking responsibility now#the only way out of this is for us all. American and otherwise. to do what we can. be self aware. try to be better. keep learning#because if you fall to apathy? capitalism wins. if you believe the propaganda? capitalism wins. if capitalism wins we all lose#the system is designed to wear you down so you're too tired to remember that it doesn't have to be this way.#that's been happening for decades and it's why things are such a mess now. the only way out. is remember there is a way out#climb towards it. do what you can. it seems like low hanging fruit. it doesn't look like enough to change anything.#but there are more ppl being hurt by this system than those benefiting. 99% of us. if everyone picks an apple. that's a lot!#that's a fucking lot! keep going even when it seems like you aren't making progress. make your voice heard. vote. don't passively support a#system that's on its way to destroying you. destroying us all. do what you've got to do to live. but don't forget that all the things that#seem like they don't matter? really really do matter once you add up everyone's contributions. you can't control other ppls actions only#your own. but your contribution matters. your vote matters. your voice matters. join the union. educate yourself. stay curious. question.#the informations out there go online learning 1 thing. challenging 1 bias is better than all or nothing. i dont have time to learn anything#small apples. low hanging fruit. the oceans made up of billions of drops. the longer you don't try. the longer you've no chance of success#we can do better. we can absolutely all do better.
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i love me some toxic yaoi but damn there is definitely a line you cannot come back from and if the ml starts pulling that shit forget breaking up he just has to die lmao
#there's a lot of toxic yaoi where they frame stuff that would be way bad in real life in such away that it feels comfortable and safe#like possessive love interests is a massive one. someone who gets violently jealous irl is scary and dangerous#but i love possessive fictional mls it's just so much fun#but sometimes a novel will have a ml do some straight up pure abuse shit that is played completely straight and it's like#yoooo how are people enjoying this at ALL#read one recently where he confined the protagonist and it was like 'protagonist was threatened and ml has abandonment issues'#which i guess was supposed to make it feel understandable#but the framing was way off. he cut off the protagonist's contact with other people in his life including his family and#berated and guilt tripped him for trying to go out to do a simple errand#and the protagonist was like 'lah dee dah this is fine :)' and seemed totally oblivious to how he was being restricted and manipulated#and it just left such a fucking awful taste in my mouth#am i supposed to root for this relationship??? i think you should#say it with me now#kill him!!!!!!!#i don't even dislike little black room tropes but i fucking hate when the protag just passively accepts it and internalizes#all the shit the ml does to them like please i need you to have a spine or i cannot root for this relationship at all#you need to be harming each other. mutual harm. my toxic yaoi must be mutually toxic. otherwise it's just gross it just feels gross
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My gynecologist confusing me completely by not using raw violence this time, being overall quite nice, and first and foremost asking me to undressed from my waist Up?? Wtf?
#ok so maybe she just had a bad day last time but i totally got prepared for getting treated quite rudely again#oh no wait another thing that was new was the new medical assistant who checked me in#the old one was always such a mean bitch. this one was nice?#and then when i got to the doctor she (the doctor) actually said hello and asked me if everything was fine???#instead of immediately going 'undress back there.' which was what i was prepared to do so i just kinda awkwardly stood there#when she was like 'aw how are things? you're just here for a check up? everything else is okay? :D'#????? hello???#anyway then she went 'then you can undress from the waist down OR the waist up first :)'#and i was like?? so i did the waist down thing first since that's the only thing that's actually covered by insurance at my age?#and like i said. she didn't even use raw violence during the exam this time? what Was that???#and then again told me to get dressed again but i could take off my shirt now? so i AKSED in all the confusion#'you actually mean i should take off my shirt right? because i thought that's not covered before 30?'#'yeah yeah you're right but we'll do it anyway :)'#MY BRAIN CANNOT COMPREHEND THIS WTF IS GOING ON WITH HER???#anyway#no one asked about my weight either and it was overall a chill appointment#was way too 'scared' about this for months for nothing. (I'm not scared of the exam. i just didn't want to get treated like dirt again#but accepted that this was part of it so i was in a very bad mood everytime i thought of it so here we are. all this for nothing.)#(watch me go there next year again thinking it's probably gonna be chill but everyone will be mean and passive aggressive again lol)#void screams#i also didn't have to pay for the breast exam which i almost assumed because why the fuck would she do an exam for free???#ugh whatever#I'm still so confused#i have so much work now though
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#it’s my wedding anniversary today and I’m in a snit#not for the typical romcom reasons one might assume that a woman might be a snit about like#’he forgot our anniversary!’ or ‘he never brings me flowers!’ or ‘we’re not doing anything special because i didn’t plan it!’#i specifically planned nothing except for my regular routine because I don’t WANT to do anything special#it’s just Wednesday#and i know that to some folks that’s just a passive aggressive way of a woman communicating that she wants more out of an experience#but i seriously don’t. in fact I’m annoyed that he took the day off instead of just the afternoon like he said he was intending to do#THAT I was able to fit into my morning routine. i knew I’d still have coffee and reading and Spanish time to myself#then i realized he was all in my space making a ton of noise and i got a sinking feeling in my stomach and understood#that he took the whole damn day off#which is fine—he’s entitled to do that and I’m not going to argue with it#but where is the communication?#did he think that this is what count as ‘spontaneous’ and ‘romantic’? he doesn’t know the meaning of the words!#and I know this by now! 23 years of marriage is a long time to NOT know that and hope for more#i have made my peace with this arrangement. he works and i manage the house and work on myself during my copious alone time#so to have him in my space when i just want to read my stupid smutty book and learn reflexive verbs rankles me#i asked point blank why he was bothering to take the day off and he said ‘to spend time with me’#dude we spend time together all the time and most of that time you’re face down in a sudoku puzzle or coding#which is fine because you know have your hobbies I’m not stopping you#so unless you have a specific plan in mind that would justify trainwrecking the morning routine of an autistic woman#a woman who has accepted a plain and unadorned life without sex or romance#then take off the afternoon that you said you were going to take off and let that be it ok?#i don’t want flowers. i don’t want a card. i do want the fancy grilled cheese we talked about before i remembered it was our anniversary#tbh Wednesday is just gyros night and I suggested the gourmet grilled cheese place as a change of pace that’s all#i don’t even want to go to the art museum. I’d rather play video games tbh#agh Samantha who are you talking to? the faint outline of a man who chose someone else? yes i guess i am#sighing into the void#anyway. off to go learn how to properly use me te se nos etc. etc.
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attractive things they do #2 !
— w. housewardens
⤷ "yuutapdatass tweeted: malleus pls stop dming me to rub our feet together as a nightly custom"
cw: hinted suggestive content for malleus, vil and leona. passive reader! enjoy ♡
RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS
shushing others so you can focus.
pens and textbooks alike cluster along your designated study table, accompanied by the riddle rosehearts as his knee brushes against yours wordlessly. he's utilising this free period, toiling out and about to aid you in your, regretfully, pointless revision. finals season starts to get rigid around this time, so he's more than content to lend a hand if you're willing to put in the effort. except—the students abounded at the table diagonal to yours start getting chattier than what's socially allowed in the library, so riddle calls them out without a pain. one "they're trying to focus." and their mouths are zipped. he turns back to you, unperturbed, and smiles. "shall we continue?"
SO patient with you it makes you cry.
riddle may be a bomb of ire waiting to burst at any given moment, but you believe that his patience shouldn't go uncredited. a tireless awardee, a distinguished laureate, going sleepy in your eyes, although he's wrestling to win over the urge just so you can get the hand of the concept he's cramming into your head last-minute. the scent of white petunias could really alleviate his fatigue, and you make a promise to bring over a few of those in favour for his devoutness to your study sessions. for the time being, he'll make sure you pass, for him, and for yourself.
vows that he'll outdo your stupid ex in every way.
whatever your ex did wrong, riddle will do better. that's just in his nature. he swears with each and every fibre of his body, nuzzling his head in the dip of your shoulder, that he'll love you in ways that your morose ex never bothered to think about. a muttered pledge that couldn't compare to the pious burn that lit in his eyes, like a withstanding candle refusing to go out. his confessions are firm, where he'll be the betterment that you wished for on an astral night, so please, don't put him in your doubt.
LEONA KINGSCHOLAR
pressing you against the nearest wall he spots to kiss you.
there are numerous attributes to this man that renders you hopelessly drunk in love. one of them is his maddening habit of pressing you flushed against the nearest surface in his sight, and the most poorly lit areas when you're in stranded in a public space to guise the both of you. he executes this with the softest hint of care, ensuring that the landing wasn't too harsh, and advancing when given the green light. wispy strands of hair stroke your skin like a feather, as fine lips come crashing down to yours in a heartbeat, in paradise. he gives you a sheer once-over, bringing up the following statement: "grab onto my vest if you need to."
breathes the confidence into you.
downgrading oneself may be in his dictionary, but it won't appear in yours. he'll clasp any opportunity to brandish his infamous eye-roll to those whose comments about you stray a bit too loud. you may be a bit thrown off by the audacity and aimlessly think about the ways of which you could live up to his—your standards. you take a bit to reorient yourself when you hear your name being called out, sluggish hands circling your waist, as you're unable to finish your thought about how beautiful he is until he asks whether you're actually sparing a single thought for those nobodies. he casually states that you're leagues better than them, whether you think so or not, and won't mind giving you a physical demonstration if you can't bring yourself to accept it yet, because he knows it.
just knows what you want without you having to tell him.
eyeing an accoutrement that could accent your main outfit? longing for a new stand-alone book after the last one you buried yourself in was a letdown? leona has the prices covered. despite your incessant denial, that you don't actually need those, he tells you that a little spending wouldn't hurt. he doesn't need verbal expression to know what'll satisfy you, the flit of your gaze is the only opening he requires. you're embarrassed by how easily you're read, but the hearty smile that blooms on your face will be all the excuses leona needs to keep spoiling you.
AZUL ASHENGROTTO
drapes his coat over your legs if you're cold.
sometimes, you swear that he has the whole "affection capability" of a wooden plank. his actions aren't entirely faultless, nor was there not a single second of err in the delivery of his speeches, but he does haul around that handy coat solely for moments like these. perched wordlessly on top of mostro lounge's signature high stools, azul rebukes your rash behaviour after spurting out in the rain without an umbrella, clothes weatherworn and all—not to mention the lounge's benevolent addition of its AC. the chills rack your body from head to toe, not noticing that a fuzzy warmth starts to blanket your legs, as azul pats it down creaseless. he says that you can pay him in return at a later date, your declining health is his utmost priority at the moment.
sets you straight when you need it.
his prized coin collection seems to blur boorishly, bleeding into the soft jazz playing in the back. the thirsting need to word-vomit all over the place, thanks to the hours of ennui you've been experiencing ever since you've trudged yourself back to azul's room, threatens to tip over the edge. he notes your irresolute responses to his (nearly) bombarding questions while he's planted over at his desk, and takes the initiative to make you open up to him. he wants you to look at him, commit his words to memory, as he caresses your shoulder under the twinkling lavender glow of his night lamp with a sure look in his eyes, guaranteeing that you're going to do fine.
has a secret album dedicated to pictures of you in his gallery.
azul tries to get accustomed to the revolutionising tricks of technology just for you. fine, if he has to pass through every single hyperlink and learn unfamiliar terms, that's on him. other than owning a booming magicam account promoting #mostrolounge, he saves a single, peculiar file in his gallery that hoards all the pictures he's taken of you when you're together, on a date or not. he can't tell if your lovely visage is the sole cause to the rapid change of pace in his heart when he's dealing with a mounting workload, but if you ever drag yourself down after taking a quick glance at them, he'll bring you right back up.
KALIM-AL-ASIM
clears the hair out of your face when its windy.
you may be a tad bit hesitant to ride the magic carpet every once in a while, but kalim's sparkling serendipity puts your heart at ease. he takes you for a midnight rendezvous, golden embroidery flashing and sheening at every twist and turn you direct with the tassels with aplomb—as he compliments. his headpieces jangle merrily like a thousand bells in the breeze, up until he notices your sight being blocked by the troublesome hair whirling all over the place. chuckle as he may, he shifts it to the side of your face with a deft hand, tracing the last strands down to your chin. "there. seeing better now?"
interlaces your hand with his in your sleep. (the physical touch GOAT)
wrinkled bedsheets rustle under the weight of your movements, coarse, and even a bit sullen as the morning ooze of sunlight drenches through your curtains, as if it prohibits you to sleep in the entire day. kalim's newfound ailment forces the two of you to be separated indefinitely, so colour yourself surprised when you feel the taut clutch of your hand in another, holding onto the remaining pieces of you that he needily ached for all night. sun-kissed fingers wove between yours like silken ribbons, his eyes pleading for you to stay, as a minute—a moment without you in his world—would be infallible torture.
purchases a piece of the moon for you.
you know those moneyed, wealthy fans who purchase a piece of the moon for their favourite idol? kalim gets influenced, and is driven by his conviction that you deserve something more extravagant than rowdy parades or a hallowed mansion (regardless of how many he wishes to buy). he takes it upon himself to surf across Lunar Registry, registering your full name and gifting its stated amount for approximately...5000 sq ft of land of the celestial body that hung high in the sky, radiating its extraterrestrial luminance on your nights of sobriety. you chide him for such an impulsive act in return, but soften up when he states, upright, that he would gift you all the stars in space if he could.
VIL SCHOENHEIT
brings you to touch him himself.
no use if you're cowardly in the bold language of physical touch, vil will simply make you oblige into feeling him, whether its physically or through minds. oftentimes you find yourself hastily straddled on his lap, him decked in his satin-sewn pajamas, as you prod and poke his hands nervously while scrutinizing every area of skin that screamed of his unyielding years of care. there's a teasing lilt that lurks behind his voice, questioning if you're seriously taking your time trying to figure him out where you're aware that he's less than patient. he seizes your hand in his grip, and leads them to his chest—shamelessly. if he needs to remind you of who you're with every day, he'll be more than committed to reel you closer to his body.
demands full eye contact.
tsking and huffing is, an unsurprisingly normal habit for him to adapt. and this includes moments of when you're shying away from him, heaving under your tense breath about how unfairly attractive he is. slick in his latest outfit tailored specifically according to his calibrated measurements. high stilettos bests your height, and he almost seems disappointed in the lack of praise he's receiving (although he knows exactly why). you feel a manicured finger tilt your chin upwards, as your teetering praises come to an abrupt halt. he smiles, demanding you to look him in the eyes throughout every second you're worshipping him.
tells you to ready yourself before he showers you in his love.
vil wants you to experience each and every slide of his nails against your feverish skin, whispering pure promises and cherishing you, affirming that you're worth much more to him than a million grand. if you ever throw yourself below the bar lower than necessary, he waves your deplorable behaviour away, and asks if you truly believe that you're tumbling down that route of thinking when you're with him. vying arms enclose your figure like a velvet blanket, surrendering your chapped lips a centimetre away from his, as his refined scent tickles your nose until he advises you to prepare yourself to revel in his untiring devotion. all your worthwhile priorities were put on hold until further notice.
IDIA SHROUD
leaning back in his chair after finishing a game.
you arose from your sleep, previously dozing off while perusing written tales of the past propped up on idia's bed. the culprit of your awakening is off cheering in the same vicinity after speed running a round and emerging victorious, unmanned, of the latest version of a first-person shooter game he recently installed on his computer. he starts to recline in his chair as it creaks off his weight, arms slackened behind his head and his sweater gliding off of his stomach, exposing the barest bit of delicate skin that indulges you to run your hands across. he emits the heaviest of sighs while he runs a sore hand through his hair, as the disorientation of your mind starts to scatter all over the place.
"i thought it'd cost more."
Idia Shroud will not have you get scammed by lowly, needling scammers surfacing online websites like newborn piranhas. his head begins to split when you spout about the official item being too pricey and that you won't be able to milk a single penny out of your derelict dorm, so he insists that he pays for the item for you himself. you send him a link of the mentioned item, and he felt like he was dragging himself through wet cement throughout the whole mire. he remains indifferent to the price overall, and goes "oh? i thought it'd cost more." with a brazen smirk etched on his face that it almost gave you a whiplash.
discreetly orders things to your front door.
quivering lips settle atop of your shoulder for the last time before he sends you back from his room after the intimate amour that had you two wondrously occupied for the entire day. you pilfer a single gummy worm from his desk, and cloak yourself further into his jacket that intoxicates every one of your senses as you streel into the night air that reeked of petrichor. your steps begin to feel like bricks, whilst your eyes were betraying your wish to stay alert. as you approach the front door welcoming you to your dorm, you gauge the sight of a small box placed on the carpet with a small note plastered on it that follows the lines of "for you, pretty thing."
MALLEUS DRACONIA
cushioning your head with his hand.
bony fingers sail through the pleasance of your hair, twirling each and every tendril that it meets and bringing them to his defined, pillowy lips. amusement cracks through the ominosity that sits in his eyes, shielded by his bangs as he beams a smile your way before grasping your shoulders in a split second. he pushes you down onto the mattress with a thud, cushioning your head with a single hand, and tells you to save your yelps and complaints before he endows you with the ability to sing for him all night. he reassures you that he does in fact, know how to secure the deadbolt on the door.
doesn't bother with any potential contenders whatsoever.
malleus but it's "okay, and?" personified. yes, he's heard of the towering sovereign in the neighbouring country who was recently appointed. yes, he's heard of the lucrative salesman nearby situated in town whose attention you captured after visiting his booth. yes, he's heard of Leona Kingscholar. but he could not give Two (2) flying tamagotchis about whoever has been swaying your way, tossing cheap and low-grade courtship in an attempt to earn your affection. he notes that he does have some cheesy pick-up lines of his own to use, but unlike the others, he knows you inside and out. he has no use for the mainstream ways of love and is eager to please you to his own liking, further revealing the unparalleled reverence he maintains for you and only you.
brushes his fingers over your collarbone.
once you step across the threshold of his bathroom, adorned in his nightwear, malleus can't help but dim the lights with the flick of his finger after catching the sight of your collarbone that peaks out from underneath. he's in front of you the moment you blink, and hums in response to your addled self. he brings his ice-tipped fingers to your neck, padding it with caution, and sliding them down to the V-shaped collar that hides the rest of your warmth. stark fingers ghost over the structure of your collarbone, and malleus asks whether you think the gibbous moon will be kind enough as to not set so early.
#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland x reader#twst imagines#twst x reader#riddle rosehearts x reader#leona kingscholar x reader#azul ashengrotto x reader#kalim al asim x reader#vil schoenheit x reader#idia shroud x reader#malleus draconia x reader#riddle rosehearts#leona kingscholar#azul ashengrotto#kalim al asim#vil schoenheit#idia shroud#malleus draconia
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