#a lot to say abt this series not much of it is good so i will remain silent
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Note
Hi hello I watched all of carmilla in a weekend when I was 17 because a student teacher who in retrospect I had a bit of a crush on mentioned that she knew one of the actresses. also I am pretty invested in all your recent vampire stuff because I watched iwtv in 2 days last week because your edit intrigued me
oh hiiii 🫶 thank you for indulging me. thats so cool that you watched iwtv! did it live up to the expectation?
i also watched carmilla at 17! or like, 17-19. i found it when s2 had just started and followed it to the end. did something permanent to my brain but i think it was a good thing. on rewatch now im like, i was right to like this. like it's a solid show, it's good. it has its flaws obviously but it's well written, the emotional moments still get me, i can see why i liked it and i still like it now even when it's not anymore, you know, meeting every need that baby gay me didnt even know they had
what it doesnt reaallyy do though - i dont remember if i posted abt this or if i left it in my drafts but - is explore vampirism as a concept. their subject matter is more lesbianism than vampirism. which is great! thats what they wanted to do and they did it and it's very good. but reading interview with the vampire the book rn im realising how much potential vampires have to be metaphors for like so many things and i started wondering like 'wait, did carmilla just not really engage with it or did it all go over my head'. but it just didnt really engage with it all that much. which again is fine bc that wasnt what they were doing. im glad they were more about the lesbianism than the vampirism
but there's this interesting difference in framing, because in iwtv they keep calling armand 'ancient' right? and emphasising how old he is. and he's like 500? and i was like 'wait isnt carmilla like 400?'. she isnt, shes 340, but still, thats getting there, you know? and we know quite a lot about her history, but kind of just the Big Events. when she was turned, the events of the novella, coffin of blood, silas. thats sort of what we know. but none of the long lonely slog of history day to day you know? with armand i feel like we can really feel how much time everything takes. how every one of those years is made up of single days. with carmilla i dont feel that as much. i keep kind of thinking about daniel, when louis calls him a boy in the first episode, saying "im an old man, with all the triggers that come with it"
because carmilla might look 18 (or mid twenties at this point) but she has lived all that time. shes also seen her native land be claimed by like a succession of ruling powers, right? like armand. shes been buried alive, like louis. when lestat is born, shes already 80 years old, shes lived a whole human lifetime, and the entire adult part of it shes been a vampire. shes lived through 1680-1870 being a lure. i compared her to abigail hobbs in some tags on a post, i dont know if youre familiar with hannibal the tv show, but i do also kinda keep thinking about that comparison
if youre not familiar, in the first episode of hannibal the murderer of the week is this guy garrett jacob hobbs who kills and cannibalises girls who resemble his daughter. and later on it turns out she was made to be his lure. like they'd go places and he'd sent her to the victims to make friends and maybe get them back to their home or smth. not sure if they specified all the details. but that's what carmilla did for mother. and in s2 we hear from mattie that while every couple of decades carmilla had to lure victims for the fish god, she also seemed to just enjoy humans between those times, right? like the doctor, gets lonely, gets a new companion. but we've only sort of got mattie's mocking word for it ("dont eat him, hes a poet! or her, shes got such a wonderful voice. or that one, shes just too pretty to ruin"), we don't know exactly from carmilla's point of view what she was doing or why. if mattie's talking about stuff that happened after the blood coffin, 1950-now, then i think it's a fair assumption based on what carmilla says in the s1 sock puppet show that after she'd figured out what the real situation was and what her role in it was, when she'd started trying to save girls from being sacrificed, that she mightve been doing the same trying to save people from becoming mattie's victims. it's probably more likely that she was just trying to find excuses to stop mattie from sucking someone dry rather than actually having like an aesthetic based morality. but it might be a bit of both. im still trying to figure out what her philosophy actually is, like i dont know what existentialism actually means ghkfjghkj but i will
i also found it pretty striking in the movie when shes turning back into a vampire she says like "this was supposed to be done, you know? the blood lust, the self-loathing, the sleeping tied to a chair in my own bedroom". thats what defines her vampirism, wanting blood and hating yourself for it (the third part is a joke/reference to s1 but also i think meaningful for how she sees her relationship with laura when she IS a vampire. little bit of that 'she will reject me for my monstrousness' shining through). and thats what defines vampirism for lots of vampires across the genre obviously, but i dont know, it struck me. we dont get a lot from carmilla's pov, we know a fair amount about her, but the story is always told through laura. we get laura's diaries, but just snippets here and there from carmilla, what shes thinking, how shes feeling
and i love that shes a philosopher. i love that thats how she seems to try and find something to hold onto, in a world that kind of moves around her, having been murdered, kidnapped, turned and groomed to be a lure on the cusp of adulthood, never having been properly loved (the relationship with her father wasnt good she says in s3, and her mortal mother i dont think has ever been mentioned (like laura's)). the only good relationship she seems to have had for the better part of 3 centuries seems to have been mattie, and mattie seems to love being a vampire. i can imagine carmilla just sort of going along with anything mattie wants to do just because shes so desperate for that friendship. not like, against her will necessarily really. but more like, she hasnt even had the space to develop her own will, you know? and philosophy lets you do that. philosophy gives you frameworks to understand the world and to develop your own opinions on it. and by the 21st century she seems to have developed those opinions, she has a sense of her own values, but shes also still stuck in that same situation. shes jaded and cynical in the face of laura's optimism and strong moral code a lot of the time in s1 because she feels probably pretty powerless. like she does what she can to save some girls but at the end of the day shes scared of her mother and she has nowhere else to go really, right?
i like how she grapples with that over the course of the series, in tandem with laura grappling with her black and white morality. she sort of jumps ship from her mother to laura bc theyve fallen in love, but then laura still stuck in her hero thinking refuses to see her monstrous side. not literally bc i think the biological vampirism never seemed to be a problem for laura, but morally. the having murdered. carmilla needs laura to see that and love her while seeing it bc the last girl she loved rejected her for being a vampire.
but you see her kind of swing back and forth in s2. she softens first with laura but then they break up and she leans back hard into the sarcastic cynic defense mechanisms, leans hard into "im a monster, dont expect heroism from me". but thats like, it's sort of learned helplessness i think. it's powerlessness, resignation. bc morally shes not a monster. maybe she doesnt have as strong a drive to help other people as laura does and is a little more selfishly hedonistic in that she just wants to enjoy her/their life, but she doesnt hurt people for fun, she never has. she just sort of didnt have another option for a Really long time. so she pretends she doesnt care. "im a vampire, this is what i do, this is who i am". but clearly from the way she talks about it when she turns back into one, she doesnt enjoy it
and i like how she goes even further in s3, where she starts swinging even more to the heroic side, bc she sees hope. shes like "wow if we kill my mother, i'd be free". theres hope and she becomes like a lot more active. and shes like that at the start of the movie too, a lot happier, a lot more relaxed, and then vampirism is back and bam depression gfhgkjh like shes immediately more gloomy, ashamed of her past and her self, retreats into herself
sorry i just took this as an opportunity to dump all the carmilla thoughts floating in my head on you. you didnt ask fhkghgjh consider this an open invitation to you or anyone else to come talk to me about carmilla
#just finished watching the movie and i had actually forgotten but at the end shes a vampire again!#they totally gave us a super great opening for more conflict to explore hollstein's relationship#bc carmilla sort of puts closure to her past by taking responsibility for her part in it and it makes her a vampire again#and laura is like 'dont give up on our life together' and shes like 'im not giving up on anything!'#and laura is like 'we're supposed to live and get old and have grandkids how are we gonna do that if you dont age'#so thats a great set up#im putting the fic im writing i think another 5 years in the future#bc the movie is 5 years from the end of the series and im doing another 5 years so it's 2024#but theres so much opportunity to play there. theres conflict. tehres problems to solve. but theyre in a good place#i dont think they ever specify how vampires are made in this universe#therees some posts on carmillas blog where she responds to asks abt why she doesnt turn laura or if she would#and she just says 'you have no idea how this works'#but that was still during the series and the writers obviously wanted to keep their options open and their writing cards a bit closer to#the chest#but at this point you could make laura a vampire#you could explore that. see how they both feel abt that. would bea difficult decision#theyre also not married yet in the movie#they celebrate carmilla's 'rebirthday' where she turned human again#you could do a thing where they turn laura on that same day. sort of make that their wedding#not an easy decision i think. i think it would take a lot of discussion to get them there but not impossible#and would be fun to explore. both their feelings abt all that. and like anotehr 5 years in the future where they are in their lives#idk idk. brainstorming#thanks for giving me an opportunity to infodump a little :)#carmillaposting
17 notes
·
View notes
Note
r u never gonna update haikyuu dear future husband cause it’s literally been 4 months 💀
no actually it’s never being updated. infact i am deleting dfh in .2 seconds as we speak .
#joking#on a more serious note can yall srsly stop asking me for updates#the series masterlist LITERALLY SAYS ‘updates irregularly’#like i warned yall abt it#also whenever i do feel like writing for dfh i get anons like this ^^^ who don’t even want to be a little bit nicer#like asking abt the state of the series is fine#i welcome any questions abt dfh if u want more dfh content while waiting for the main series updates!!#but i continuously get anons who are pushy abt updates for a series i put a lot of effort into so it takes much longer to update#i would hate to put out anything that i don’t think is good#and cuz i love dfh i refuse to write smth half assed just to please people.#its my series and i get to decide when it updates.#in conclusion if yall dont stop asking i will literally just never update. like let me live bro#the attitude towards writers on this site is appalling for content we lovingly make for free for yall . . .
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
cant remember bringing this up for a while so honestly i'll never be over the reiiteration that jean himself has a bleeding heart. he is going to be both blunt and honest with whoever hes speaking to, but in a way that he hopes will come to help them understand the situation but also does it so whoever he's speaking with actually understands the full situation and what that may entail despite the gruesome outcome.
#out of.#i know so many people respect erwins RTS speech bc its so important but#his honesty to the corps completely parallels what 15 year old jean was saying to the scouts in trost arc and that is. IMPORTANT TO ME#rusty honesty is the most lore accurate name for his theme bc jean is. at his very core. AWFUL at this when he starts off#esp as a scout bc ... so much of it gets held back. just not enough for marco to not see it :pray:#his first proper scout interaction with eren is something i always write as a big regret for him but i also think its good to say he was a#fifteen year old who was suddenly becoming his own and a lot of peoples therapists.#he gets so much better with all this. he GROWS#i was talking abt this with angel a second ago but it's just part of the reiner and jean parallel that makes me enjoy writing them the most#reiner originally was this massive older brother figure role following all he had learnt from marcel. but peoples trust in him snapped so#easily when the reveal took place and he then spent the rest of the series trying to gain it back#( the only character who really seemed to forgive him the most being jean )#whereas jean was the character everyone loved to be mad at / tease / not get too close to#into becoming someone the majority of the scouts trusted the most#one day i will write my meta explaining all these diff characters jean mirrors but ... i shall leave you with this for now
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
guys i keep thinking about loop and nameless bard being friends. they are. rotating around up there
#doodling their meeting wasn’t enough i fear#holds out my hands. i need to show you all the vision /lh#i think bard would be friends w sif too#actually would ven…#ven is just as emotionally shut tight actually 😭 beloved. he is very emotionally intelligent but like hell he will Say anything abt his#problems#how many times have we even Gotten to hear abt what’s bothering them#okay digressing#ven would get along with a lot of the party honestly ?? hed be so fond of mira#AND bonnie#okay okay anyways#i keep Saying it but like. loop and bard would enable each other so much#puts my head in my hands. do you think theyd talk abt their gods/universe …..#how their divinity upset them#how it went so wrong …#also why did i get on vens case like that 😭 bard i feel is like. even worse. good Luck getting him to show true emotions#<- voice of a guy who keeps thinking about bard telling loop theyre not that good of an actor (Very fondly mind you)#and loop. kinda. breaking over it#do Any of these make sense#i just think bard would try his damnedest to be there for loop and vice versa as loop warms up to him and finds another person to love#<- why do i keep going in depth over relationships and friendships over characters from two completely different series 😭😭😭#this is. not very spoilery yeah ?#lantern says stuff
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
ALMOST done with : | compilation. after im done i already wanna do a liam smiling compilation, but i think i should do liam crying compilation and liam angry compilation bc i think that would ALSO lend itself well to future analysis!!!!
#like . i mentioned in that one post that im undecided on how often he cries#i think a list of every time he DOES cry could be helpful in determining this#same for the other ones!!!!! look im very interesting in how he acts and stuff like this helps SO much#like knowing he only apologizes like once or twice in the series? influences how i write him a LOT#ppl write him saying 'sorry' WAY more often than i think is in character#which i think relates to the whole 'lack of manners' thing#i dont think saying sorry is smth that occurs to him very often. thinks its kinda pointless if i had to guess why#like a 'thinks verbally apologizing is kinda unimportant#since it doesnt actually do anything' kinda guy?#maybe i should compile every time he apologizes for smth actually#cus i know he does when amelias talking abt stone making her team win#which feels telling but i gotta think abt it more#BUT of course that is simply my interpretation!!!!#also ngl it IS a good way to get myself to rewatch!!!!#i have a hard time sitting down to watch smth if im by myself n theres no 'reason' to bc i feel like im not doing anything and get Nervous#so!!!! it helps rewatches :D#anyway
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
the thing abt btr is i really wanna see more characterization/ ixn but i don't think anything i write will be able to capture the essence of the source material :(
#i think i just have to also finish the manga at some point but... i hate to admit this... but i don't like 4koma...#i tried to read newgame or something at some point and i just couldn't. 4koma is sth I'd consume with a meal but i can't read it#if that makes sense. like i can't have it as a story. i enjoy the milgram comics and they're basically 4koma but. it's not as a story.#but it's also kinda my issue of not willing to break too far away from canon like i have hcs or scenarios i associate w certain characters#but i feel. idk. guilty writing it if it “breaks character” too much. even w aus i try to stick close to canon and find good parallels#it's just idk. reverence for source material bc usually i like the stuff i write for! i enjoy it! i want more of it not sth different#the most ooc hc i have is hrk being trans bc i think there's no way they would have that be canon but. idk! We'll see!#but also when it comes to btr rahhh idk which pairing to write abt and the issue is I'm usually not a multishipper!! but!!!#everyone in the series adores bocchi so much. and obv it's a series abt bochi's growth so we have more focus on how the others feel abt her#but the moments of understanding shared btwn bocchi and ryo. the sharing of secrets and vulnerability btwn bocchi and nijika.#the way Kita supports and pushes bocchi forward. like. all of them are so shippable!!! i want it all!!#at the same time there's the very canon admiration kita has for ryo and the way only ryo calls her ikuyo.#and in canon how ryo rejects invitations from everyone else but has nijika as her only friend like. as someone who. is okay w being alone.#like idk this is me projecting but the way she falls asleep on nijika the way she says sukithe way nijika so easily gives her the fries#i find it hard to believe they are not bickering gfs. like. they make out every night.#like idk rahhhh i just. i really like all the dynamics!!! i want to write i want to consume but i want to do it right#holding characters i like a lot in my hand just like. mm. do i make you happy or do i. give you so much angst.#i really wanna write sth angsty for the sake of self projection and getting things out of my system but i like all my pairings too much orz#i get an inkling of an idea and then go but no.. i can't do this to them... they wouldn't do that... they're good kids...#maybe i just go really ooc for once just so at least i know i can and i feel less. strung abt it.
0 notes
Text
Delusional - Lando Norris x Fewtrell!Reader
Masterlist
summary: In which the internet once again is fooled by your slightly overdramatic side. Rumors about Lando dumping you circulate but luckily the Mclaren driver is just as delusional as you are. Social Media Au
y/nfewtrell
Home
liked by kellypiquet and 60‘797 others
y/nfewtrell in my feelings bruh
view all comments
maxfewtrell did you take my hoodie?
y/nstans what why????
user567 sense a breakupppp
f1islife stunning
arthur_leclerc *plays taylor swift
user345 arthur what do you know
y/nandlan Lando didn’t like?!
user567 see his post? he seems completely unbothered
user898 Landos too good for her anyw
f1gossip you sound bitter
user787 i just always had weird vibes from her
f1gossip we‘ve met y/n and she‘s literally an angel
y/nfewtrell thanks means a lot
landonorris
liked by maxfewtrell and 567‘897 others
landonorris how I try to entertain
view all comments
user687 such a hottie
f1fans someone say unbothered cough
georgerussell63 I thought you were on a diet?
alex_albon he‘s abt 4ft tall he doesn’t need a diet
mclaren next week we back to veggies
f1lover wheres the missus
user789 y/n doesn’t attend most gps she goes to university
f1fans yeah but so do Alex and Kika yet they seem to be way more supportive
user789 I‘m sure shes supportive just maybe also focused on her on career?
y/nstans y/n not liking landos post has me scaredddd
maxfewtrell looking smug
landonorris thanks bestieeee
maxfewtrell
Paris
liked by landonorris and 123‘890 others
maxfewtrell took the little nugget to paris @y/nfewtrell
view all comments
user578 she‘s so cute
f1lover peeping the papaya phone case
norrisandme yes also Lando liked! they goood
y/nfrance we met her yesterday and she seemed fine
arthur_leclerc the nugget in the big city
y/nfewtrell miss you archer
f1gossip my fave friendship
user787 why is she already flirting with guys when the rumors aren’t comfirmed
maxfewtrell oh god if you think y/n can flirt you‘re in for suprises
y/nfewtrell thanks maxie :) loved the trip
team_quadrant let’s go to Brazil!!!!
f1gossip
liked by user676 and 12‘899 others
f1gossip You guys know we normally don’t cover anything realitionship releated but it looks like Lando and Y/n are going through some crisis. She appeared on a tiktok crying after a series of mysterious tweets and instagram posts. Neither her or Lando have yet confirmed the rumors. But she has been absent from his likes and vice versa.
view all comments
user676 she’s making it obvious
f1fans cloutchaser?
y/nstans shut up
landonorris @y/nfewtrell care to explain missy
y/nfewtrell no i dont care to, peace out
user676 omg they commented
norrislove they clearly are clowing y���all
maxfewtrell the woman cries like twelfe times a day and people still wonder?
landonorris twelfe is a little much, ten maybe eleven
y/nfewtrell I have my reasons this time!
y/nfewtrell
Austin Texas
liked by charlottesine and 234‘890 others
y/nfewtrell my lanlan. I formally apologize for being a lot to handle sometimes. I do love you more than words could even get close to explain. Thanks for being the best boyfriend and bestfriend. Thanks for pretending I‘m 21 forever.
view all comments
landonorris my world, anything for you 🧡
y/nfewtrell love youuu
maxfewtrell disgusting
maxfewtrell we all know she aint 21, plus he’s MY bestfriend
f1gossip we stan an overdramatic queen
charlottesine power couple
y/nfewtrell thanks chacha
user787 how annoying all that for such a petty reason
f1fans right i was relieved he had dumped her ass
y/nstans sad people you are, she clearly makes him happy
arthur_leclerc happy 21st I guess ;)
landonorris whats with the wink you twat
f1user y/n control your mans
landonorris
liked by f1 and 1‘124‘799 others
landonorris happy 21st birthday to the most beautiful 21 one year old I know. I love you so much eventhough your overdramatic soul makes people assume we broke up every couple of months. I love you my angel.
view all comments
user676 21!?!?
f1gossip look at y/ns post
f1lover they have me dead
charles_leclerc isn’t she-
arthur_leclerc shut up charlie
maxfewtrell tell them!
y/nfewtrell thanks bean. I love you more.
maxfewtrell bean? cringe
kellypiquet such a beautiful girl
f1gossip so the whole drama reallly was bc she doesn’t wanna turn 22 hahaha
user67 she‘s truly overdramatic
f1 we love a supportive and delusional king
mclaren like a true gentleman Mr.Norris
maxfewtrell
Sao Paulo
liked by oscarpiastri and 123‘788 others
maxfewtrell happy 22nd second you LIAR, never thought Lando would go as delulu as you. Love you nugget.
comment have been disabled
#lando norris imagine#lando norris fic#lando norris smut#formula 1 imagine#lando norris#lando norris smau#lando norris x reader#f1 social media au#lando x reader#f1imagines#formula 1 x reader#lando#charles leclerc#football imagines#norris#oscar piastri fic#oscar piastri imagine#imagine#fanfiction#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc x reader#f1 imagine#football
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
Only When It's Us — JJK ,, index ,, about taglist
Chapter 02 — distraction ✎
fic summary: you both say it’s nothing serious, but with every touch and argument, it gets harder to stay away.
nsfw warnings: smut; lots of kissing, lots of touching lol, oral (male recieving, fem too? kinda), sucking fingers, doggy style, unprotected sex (shes using birth control so yep, be safe!) use of ‘good girl’
wc: 6k
📜 permanent taglist: @lovieku @kyuupii @fluttershypoo @deluluisdasolulu @ddanasjk @mar-lo-pap @jungkooks-wife @diamondjeon @nnybtitts08 @lil0u0 @butnotmontana @fr0ggieth1nk @minimoninini @whoa-jo @lola75111 @iswearimover5feetall @rispwr @leemonis-blog
📜 series taglist: @deepikhaprakash @rjooniesdimples @sweetmimosa28
abt series taglist: send me an ask w the series title !!
��i have to go.”
“why don’t you just come back home? you can start over, and this time, maybe you’ll be more like your brother.”
you sigh.
“mom, i don’t want to be him,” you say quietly, trying to keep the frustration out of your voice. on the other end, you hear her let out a soft, disapproving tsk, a sound that always manages to make you feel a little smaller.
“aren’t you clearly struggling with school? if you were here with us, with your brother, we’d help you. you’d be fine,” she insists, as if coming home would magically fix everything.
you roll your eyes.
“i really have to go.”
“___, just listen to—”
but before she can finish, you end the call, staring at the blank screen for a moment.
there’s an unsettling feeling in your chest, one that refuses to fade, no matter how much you try to brush it off. its like a quiet reminder of all the things you’re trying to avoid.
go back home?
after everything you’ve been through to study what you want, to finally live on your own terms. every argument, every latenight fight with your parents, all just to claim a bit of freedom.
you worked so hard to break free from their expectations, to stand on your own.
you even transferred universities just to escape the constant pressure back in your hometown. no matter what you did, it was never enough. every choice was somehow wrong, not ‘their way.’
you can’t go back now.
not until you’ve made it, not until you have something real to prove them wrong. you have to be successful, if only to show them that your way was the right way all along.
“hey, are you done thinking? never seen anyone contemplate cheerios this hard.”
min yoongi’s low voice pulls you out of your thoughts. you look up, finding him behind the cash register, his lips curving into a small smile.
“just wondering if i can actually trust your store’s products. what if you are some sort of cheerio secret agent and you're trying to poison me?” you joke, handing him the money.
“oh no, you figured it out. we’ve been poisoning the cheerios. now how am i gonna explain to my boss that our mission failed?” he dramatically placesb a hand on his forehead as if you revealed his deepest darkest secret. you can’t help but chuckle, the tension in your chest loosening just a bit.
“bad day?” he asks, his gaze softening a bit as he opens the cash register.
min yoongi; your friend.
well, he's more like your senior. he graduated last year and he is working parttime at this convenience store cuz he thinks in this way he could spend some time outside.
you didn't question him about it any further.
you don’t usually come here unless it’s an emergency, and breakfast for tomorrow qualifies as pretty urgent, or so you tell yourself.
“something like that,” you say, your voice barely above a whisper.
he nods slightly. “well,” he begins, “i’m sorry i can’t give you a discount,” he adds, trying to lighten the mood.
you chuckle, the corners of your mouth lifting. “aw, that’s too bad. i thought i might get these cheerios for free.”
he smiles softly, “maybe some other time,"
you smile back at yoongi and turn to leave. but then you almost bump your head against a man’s chest, stumbling back in surprise.
that was close.
you look up to apologize, but your words get caught in your throat as you take in his appearance.
he’s handsome.
no, that doesn’t even begin to cover it. his face is sculpted to perfection, with sharp cheekbones and a jawline that could cut glass. his dark eyes seem to pierce right through you, and his long, dark hair falls effortlessly over his forehead.
but there’s something else,
he looks... mad?
you quickly gather yourself, your cheeks warming slightly. “sorry,” you blurt out, stepping aside to let him pass.
as you walk out of the store, you catch a snippet of conversation behind you.
“are you still upset about her, jungkook?” yoongi’s voice carries just enough for you to hear.
you try to shake it off, not wanting to dwell on whatever is unfolding behind you. it’s not your business, after all.
you step outside, the cool air hitting your face as you leave the store, and try to focus on the tasks ahead of you.
“it doesn’t make any sense, hyung,” jungkook scoffs, the frustration bubbling up inside him.
“when did she ever make sense?” yoongi replies dryly, not backing down as he meets jungkook’s glare. the tension in the air feels thick, but yoongi isn’t afraid to speak his mind.
“from my point of view, you’re now a free man. free from all the bullshit you’ve been through,” yoongi explains, hoping to lift jungkook’s spirits.
“what bullshit? i was happy. we were happy,” jungkook frowns, his confusion evident. he shifts his weight from one foot to the other, struggling to comprehend yoongi’s words.
“that’s what she wanted you to think,” yoongi replies, his tone serious. “and to be honest, that’s what you always did. you did whatever she wanted. you changed for her.”
“i loved her,” jungkook insists, his voice a bit softer but still filled with conviction, as if saying it out loud would make it true.
“did you? really?” yoongi presses, searching jungkook’s eyes for any hint of doubt. he knows this is a tough conversation, but it needs to be talked out.
jungkook looks away and mutters. “you don’t get it,”
yoongi’s expression softens. he presses his lips together as he looks at jungkook, feeling bad for him. “i’m sorry, jungkook. but you really have to let it go now. it’s been two weeks. it’s time to start moving on.”
jungkook stays silent.
instead of responding, he reaches for a lollipop displayed near the cash register, the bright colors contrasting sharply with his gloomy mood. he hands yoongi some money, more than what the lollipop costs, as if he’s paying for more than just candy.
“do you want the change, or can i keep it as a tip for my great service slash friendship?” yoongi tries to lighten the mood, hoping to bring a smile to jungkook’s face.
and it does.
jungkook’s lips curl into a faint smile, a small but genuine response. “keep it,” he says softly.
as jungkook turns to leave, yoongi watches him go, feeling sad for his friend.
“bad day indeed.”
you're sat on a bench in the park near the convenience store, lost in your own thoughts. the quiet sounds of the evening settle around you, the faint rustle of leaves, the distant hum of traffic, and your own sighs mingling with the cool air.
you’re not really thinking about anything in particular, just letting your mind wander in that aimless way it does when everything feels overwhelming.
then, a loud voice cuts through your thoughts.
“no, i know you're hiding something from me!” someone snaps, his voice taut with irritation. “fine! have it your way then.”
curious, you glance over and recognize him immediately; the same man from earlier at the store, the one you’d nearly bumped into.
he’s pacing as he talks on his phone, one hand running through his dark hair in exasperation. his jaw is clenched, his brows furrowed, and you can practically feel the tension radiating off him even from a distance.
after a moment, he ends the call with an aggravated sigh, stuffing his phone into his pocket as he makes his way into the park, still visibly upset. he barely notices his surroundings as he walks closer to where you’re sitting.
he sighs, tilting his head back and closing his eyes, muttering something under his breath as if willing the frustration to melt away. you can’t help but stare a little, like an idiot.
then his eyes snap open and land directly on you.
“got a problem with me?” his voice is sharp, cutting through the silence between you.
you blink, startled, and stand up instinctively. “excuse me?”
he turns fully to face you, his eyes never leaving yours. “i asked, you got a problem with me?”
“no.” you shake your head, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
“good.”
wow. nice attitude.
just as you’re about to walk away, he calls out again.
“never seen you around here before.”
“pardon?” you turn back, surprised.
“you’re yoongi's friend, right?” he asks,
you cross your arms, giving him a wary look. “why do you care?”
he shrugs, almost nonchalant. “my bad, just curious. never seen yoongi smile at a normal customer before, so i assumed.”
“oh,” you reply, softening just a bit. “well, i guess you could say we're friends.”
he raises an eyebrow, an amused smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. “you guess?”
you offer a small shrug of your own. “he used to help me when i was still a freshman, and he still tries to whenever he can. i'd say he's like my teacher, in a way. it’s not like we hang out or anything, though.”
he tilts his head, considering your words. “well, consider yourselves friends. trust me, he doesn’t just help anyone.”
you narrow your eyes slightly, still wary. “and who are you, exactly?”
“jeon jungkook,” he says, extending a hand with a surprisingly polite nod. instinctively, you reach out and shake it, his grip firm. “since you're yoongi's friend, i think we go to the same university. though this is the first time i’m seeing you.”
“same, i am ___,” you pull your hand back.
“what are you doing here, in the middle of the night? didn’t your parents ever tell you not to go out alone?” he asks, the way he talks is somewhere between teasing and serious. you can't quiet get what it is but something about it grates on your nerves, like he's playing at being concerned but in a way that feels almost mocking.
“i could ask you the same thing,” you shoot back, meeting his gaze head on.
he doesn’t flinch, only tilts his head slightly. “i always come here,” he says, his voice calm, almost like a matterof fact.
“same,” you respond. “during the day.”
he quirks a brow, “so why are you in my night shift?”
you scoff, a laugh slipping out before you can stop it. “this isn’t your place or ‘shift,’ you know."
“well, you come here during the day; i come here at night. sounds like shifts to me,” he says with a shrug, and you catch the playfulness on his face.
“guess i’m overtiming, then,” you say, glancing away to hide your own smirk. “don’t mind me.”
he stays silent.
“you’ve got your own shit to deal with, huh?” he says, his voice breaking the quiet.
“why are you talking to me?” you blurt out, catching him a little off guard. “i mean, you don’t even know me.”
he raises an eyebrow, unphased. “i could ask you the same thing,” he replies, mimicking your answer from before.
you narrow your eyes, folding your arms. “i don’t think i want to talk about my problems with a random stranger.”
“problems…” he echoes, looking you up and down like he’s trying to figure you out. “let me guess. got into a fight with your boyfriend?”
“no,” you say quickly, rolling your eyes. “i don’t have one.” for a second, you think you catch a flicker of surprise on his face. “what about you? girlfriend mad at you?”
his face shifts, something almost vulnerable passing over his features before he looks away. “guess you could say that,” he mutters. “since she broke things off with me.”
a silence stretches between you two.
“i’m… sorry to hear that,” you finally say, feeling the awkwardness settle around you.
you didn't expect that.
honestly, the idea of someone like him getting dumped hadn’t even crossed your mind. a guy who looks like that—that intense aura—doesn’t exactly seem like the type to get left behind.
you assumed he’d be the one calling the shots, the one walking away. but here he is, single and clearly dealing with the aftermath of something that’s weighing on him. its surprising.
a thought crosses yourmind.
if someone could leave him, someone who had a place in his life and a claim to his heart, maybe he’s not as perfect as he seems on the outside. maybe there’s something beneath the surface, something that’s harder to deal with than his looks would suggest.
it’s like a puzzle you didn’t even mean to start solving, yet here you are, wondering if there’s more to him than just that handsome face.
but then you shake the thought away. he’s a stranger. a random guy you happened to bump into, quite literally, at a park in the middle of the night. it’s not like you’ll see him again after tonight. or, at least, that’s what you’re telling yourself.
because, really, why should you care?
whatever his story is, it’s none of your business.
“anyway, hope you figure your problems out.” he says, his gaze flickering away as if he’s eager to dodge any deeper conversation.
“likewise,” you reply.
without warning, he pulls a lollipop from his pocket, holding it out to you. “here,” he says, waiting for you to take it.
you reach out slowly, raising an eyebrow. “thanks?”
he smirks, “again, did your parents never tell you not to take candy from strangers?”
“maybe i like to be a little rebellious,” you say, smirking back at him and he shakes his head smiling.
“well, go ahead, eat it. i don’t want you tossing it away. i spent a lot on that sucker,” he says, a playful grin spreading across his face. despite the oddness of the moment, a corner of your mouth quirks up.
you unwrap the lollipop, examining it with a critical eye before giving him a look that says it all.
he catches it, tilting his head in curiosity. “what?”
“i don’t think i like raspberry flavor,” you admit, holding the lollipop up like a trophy of sorts.
he squints at you, “you’ve never tasted one before?”
you shrug, trying to sound nonchalant. “i don’t like raspberries, so i’m guessing this is more of the same.”
he shakes his head, lips twitching into a smirk. “that’s pretty bold, making assumptions without even trying it.”
“just give it a taste; maybe you'll like it,” he suggests, a teasing smile forming on his lips, clearly wanting you to try it. deep down, he doesn't even like raspberry flavor; he just picked it out randomly at the store.
“uh, no thanks. i don’t want that nasty taste on my tongue,” you reply, scrunching your nose a little . “but thanks, you could have—”
your words are abruptly cut off as he grabs your hand, the lollipop still held tightly between your fingers. in one swift motion, he leans in, wrapping his mouth around it. his tongue swirls around the candy, and then he pulls it out, his lips glistening with a reddish-pink hue that matches the flavor.
you're completely taken aback, eyes widening in shock.
oh what the fuck.
“yeah, you’re right. it does taste nasty,” he says, licking his lips as he releases your hand. “give it to me, i'll just throw it away or something”
suddenly, the lollipop feels trivial compared to what he just did. you stand there, completely speechless, your mind and heart racing as you try to process what jus happened.
“what?” he stares at you.
“you’re good with your tongue,” you say, the words slipping out before you can really think them through.
he pauses, his eyes widening for a second, and he chokes on nothing, almost like he’s been caught off guard mid-breath. “uh, what?” he finally manages, blinking rapidly.
realizing how that might’ve sounded, “i just meant... the lollipop. you seemed pretty skilled with it,” you clarify, though you’re aware it’s not really helping.
what are you even trying to say?
he looks at you, a smirk playing on his lips now. “uh-huh, sure,” he says, teasing you. “that’s what you meant.”
you roll your eyes, trying to play it cool. “don’t flatter yourself, i was just making an observation.”
but the way he’s looking at you now, dark eyes glittering with amusement and something else you can’t quite place, makes it hard to pretend that slip of the tongue didn’t mean more than you intended.
“so, do you want to suck on it?”
“huh?” you blink.
suck on what now?
“the lollipop” he clarifies, a small smile playing on his lips.
oh.
you clear your throat, fighting to keep a neutral expression. “no, definitely not, especially now that you had your tongue all over it.” you try to scrunch your nose, but any attempt at showing disgust falls flat with the heat rising in your cheeks.
“alright then, just asking if you changed your mind,” he shrugs, still holding your gaze.
“i still don’t want it,” you say quickly, trying to sound convincing.
“okay.” he blinks, unfazed.
“okay,” you repeat, awkwardly.
he gestures to the lollipop still in your hand. “uh, so… are you gonna keep holding it?”
you glance down, pulling your hand back. “i’m gonna throw it away,” you declare, though it feels a bit ridiculous now, given everything that just happened.
“i hope so,” he says, one side of his lips quirking up.
why do you kind of like his smile?
you try to shake your thought off, tossing the lollipop into a nearby trash can, trying to act as casual as possible.
“well, guess that's the end of that,” you say, hoping to sound nonchalant. he nods as he crosses his arms.
you raise an eyebrow, mimicking his stance. “do you usually hand out half-eaten lollipops to strangers?”
he laughs, low and soft, the sound surprisingly warm in the quiet night. “only when they look like they need a little distraction.”
you tilt your head. “oh? and what made you think i needed one?”
his eyes meet yours, his expression softening. “just a hunch,” he says, his voice dropping to a murmur. “we all got stuff we’d rather not think about, right?”
a pause.
there’s something unspoken between you two, a quiet understanding in the way you hold each other’s gaze.
he's right.
you are stressing about things you'd rather not think about, things that seem to cling to your mind no matter how hard you try to push them away.
and then there's him, a stranger but somehow not, going through his own mess. you can see it in his tired eyes, the way he keeps looking off into the distance as if trying to shake off whatever weight he's carrying.
you realize you don’t mind it; you don’t mind his company, or even the strange comfort of this shared silence.
both of you are here, each trying to forget whatever it is that’s eating at you. maybe that’s why this moment feels so easy.
”yeah,” you finally say, “guess we do.”
“i gotta go now,” you announce, hoping to put an end to whatever weird tension is building between the two of you.
he doesn't say anything. no goodbyes, no attempts to stop you. so you turn and start walking away, trying to shake off whatever just happened.
but before you can take more than a few steps, his hand shoots out, wrapping around your wrist. you stop, surprised, and turn back to face him. his grip isn’t tight, but it’s firm enough to make you pause.
you meet his gaze, and there's something in his eyes—something intense, something that makes your stomach flip.
“would you like a distraction?” he asks, voice low, almost like a whisper meant just for you.
you blink, not sure if you heard him right. “what?” you manage to say, your voice barely above a whisper.
instead of answering, he tugs you gently closer. your body stumbles forward, and your hands land on his chest to steady yourself. his heartbeat is strong under your palm, and suddenly, everything feels too close, too intense.
he looks down at you, his eyes flickering over your face like he’s searching for something. “i think i do,” he mutters. “don’t you?”
your mind is racing, trying to make sense of this.
is he asking what you think he’s asking?
he’s a stranger. someone you barely know beyond a couple of conversations and an awkward encounter in a convenience store.
yet there’s something about the way he’s looking at you, something that makes it hard to think straight.
“yes,” you hear yourself say before you can even process it.
his lips curve into a satisfied smile, and without another word, he leans in and kisses you.
the world seems to stop as his mouth meets yours. it’s not hesitant or soft; it’s urgent, as if he’s been wanting this for longer than the short time you’ve known him. his hands slide up to your face, cupping your cheeks as he deepens the kiss.
your fingers clutch his shirt, feeling the heat of his body against yours. it’s messy and impulsive, and he doesn't even care that you’re both in the middle of a park, under the dim glow of the streetlights.
right now, all you can think about is him. the way he tastes, the way he kisses you desperately.
maybe you do need this distraction.
his hands grip your waist, pulling you closer, and you instinctively wrap your arms around his neck, letting the kiss deepen. his lips are soft, and you moan as if you're melting into the kiss. there's something about the way his mouth moves against yours; like he's been waiting to do this.
“wait—” you pant as pull back, your heart pounding against your ribs, trying to gather your thoughts. he looks into your eyes, his brows furrowing slightly as he asks in a low voice, “what happened?”
“we're... we're outside,” you point out, glancing around.
he tilts his head, his brows raising slightly as if that’s the least of his concerns. “so?” his voice is low and almost teasing, like he finds your hesitation cute.
you let out a scoffing laugh, “what do you mean so?wee’re literally in a children’s park.” you gesture to the swings and slides nearby, deserted at this hour but still... it’s a public space.
he pauses for a second, “my car’s parked just over there,” he nods towards a sleek vehicle at the edge of the park, his lips curling into a smile. “we could, uh... relocate or—”
before you can even process that, your curiosity gets the better of you. “wait— you have a car?” you cut in, a little surprised.
he chuckles. “yeah, and it’s a pretty one at that.” there’s a glint in his eyes that says he’s enjoying this back-and-forth with you, like it’s some sort of game.
you sigh, still trying to wrap your head around the craziness of this entire situation. “okay,” you murmur, almost to yourself, deciding to just go with it. what’s the worst that could happen?
he releases his grip on you, but only so he can grab your hand and guide you towards the car. the walk feels a little awkward now, a heavy tension hanging in the air. you're not sure what to say.
what’s the protocol for walking towards a car with a guy you’re about to hook up with?
as if sensing your nerves, he gives your hand a gentle squeeze. “come on, my car’s comfy. don’t worry,” he says with a grin, trying to lighten the mood. the way he’s holding your hand... it’s surprisingly tender, making it feel just a little less awkward.
when you reach the car, he opens the back seat door for you. you hesitate for a second, “you won’t, like, kidnap me or something, right?” you half-joke.
he lets out a soft chuckle, shaking his head. “for someone who’s so aware of the things you shouldn’t be doing, you sure do them anyway,” he teases. his words send a shiver down your spine, both a warning and an invitation.
but you ignore that nagging voice in the back of your mind. instead, you climb into the seat and he follows you right away.
“why are you—” your words are cut off as he crashes his lips against yours, the urgency in his kiss making you lose your breath. one of his hands grips your waist, pulling you against him, while the other tangles in your hair, tugging gently to tilt your head for better access.
the way his lips move against yours, hot and hungry, sends sparks shooting down your spine, and before you know it, you're moaning into his mouth, matching his intensity. your hands scramble to find something to hold onto, eventually locking behind his neck as if he's your lifeline.
“are we seriously gonna fuck in your car?” you gasp, your words shaky when he pulls away just enough to start trailing hot kisses down the side of your neck. your legs wrap around his waist instinctively, drawing him closer.
“no,” he breathes and sucks on a sensitive spot just beneath your ear, his teeth grazing the skin before he soothes it with a slow lick. “just couldn’t stop myself,” he admits, voice low and breathy, and then his mouth is back on yours, devouring you with a hunger that makes your head spin.
your hands move restlessly over his broad shoulders, wanting to feel more, wishing his clothes were gone so you could touch him everywhere.
his hands roam your body like he's memorizing it, fingers pressing into the curves of your waist, teasingly brushing against your chest. each touch has you arching into him, wishing he'd just tear your clothes apart already.
it's all too good.
too overwhelming, and before you know it, five minutes have passed with the two of you tangled in each other. when he finally pulls back, panting, his lips are swollen and glistening. your chest rises and falls rapidly as you try to catch your breath, both of you staring at each other in the dim light of the car.
he’s leaning back slightly, his hard on pressing against your thigh. it’s impossible not to notice how turned on he is, and it only makes your own arousal spike.
you're so fucking wet right now.
you’re laid back on the seat, eyes locked on him, watching the way he runs a hand through his disheveled hair, pushing it back revealing his forehead.
“hotel? or my place?” he asks, trying to catch his breath “hotel’s just a minute away, but my place… well, it’s a bit further.”
you can practically see the options laid out in your mind like a checklist.
a) go to the hotel, have your fun, and slip away without looking back. no strings, no regrets. just a quick fuck and disappear like it never happened.
b) go to his place, let him fuck the shit out of you, see if he’s worth all this heat between your thighs. maybe wake up in his bed with his arms still wrapped around you... and if he's good enough, maybe get his number so it doesn’t have to be a one time thing.
you bite your lip, your decision already made before you even realize it.
“yours.”
the drive to his apartment is quick, the tension between you both barely held back. you're glad it’s late at night, because the two of you can’t seem to keep your hands off each other and you don't want anyone witnessing it.
the second you step into his apartment, the door slams shut behind you, and it's a scramble to rid each other of clothing. shirts are yanked off, belts undone, pants shoved down until you're both stumbling towards his bedroom in a mess of heated kisses and needy touches.
“o-oh fuck—yes baby, suck it just like that,” jungkook throws his head back, moaning, his breath ragged. he’s sprawled on the bed, legs spread wide, hands gripping the sheets. you're on your knees between his thighs, sucking him hard, your lips stretching around his thick length.
you glance up at him, eyes half lidded, watching the way his abs flex as he tries to keep himself steady. “shit... you look so fucking hot,” he rasps out, voice rough. his gaze darkens, and he pushes himself up, one hand threading through your hair.
“can you take it, baby?” he asks, his voice low, a hint of a challenge in his tone.
you know exactly what he’s asking. you nod, barely managing it with your mouth full, and he smiles, almost wickedly, his eyes gleaming.
“good,” he murmurs, his grip tightening just enough on your hair. “tap me if it’s too much.” and with that, he starts moving his hips, fucking into your mouth with slow, deep thrusts.
you gag slightly as he pushes deeper, but you relax your throat, trying to take him in. the room is filled with the wet, obscene sounds of him moving in and out, his groans echoing off the walls.
“fuck—you’re taking me so well, baby,” he praises, his voice thick and raspy, sending a wave of heat straight to your core. each time his cock hits the back of your throat, it forces a choked gasp from him, his hands instinctively tightening in your hair.
your eyes water, tears pooling at your lashes, but you don’t stop, even as your throat aches. your nails dig into his firm thighs, using them for balance as he fucks your throat. you want to show him just how much you can handle.
“i’m gonna—” he grunts, voice rough and strained. a hot burst of his release fills your mouth, and you swallow it all, not breaking eye contact with him for a second. his chest heaves as he watches you, mesmerized, as your tongue slides slowly along his length, cleaning up every drop. his jaw clenches, the sight clearly driving him wild.
“get up,” he orders, voice still a little breathless, and you obey instantly, letting him pull you to your feet. “on the bed, all fours.”
you get onto the mattress, positioning yourself as he asked. there's a moment of stillness as you feel his gaze roam over your exposed body. your heart races, anticipation building as you wait for his next move.
“you’re dripping,” he murmurs, leaning in closer until his breath is hot against your soaked core. he licks a slow, deliberate stripe along your folds, and your eyes flutter shut, a soft, breathy moan escaping your lips. his mouth envelops your pussy, sucking and licking with an rhythm that makes your thighs tremble.
he pulls back just enough to catch his breath before moving up, positioning himself between your legs. his right hand trails upward, skimming over your skin until his fingers brush against your lips.
instinctively, you part them, taking his fingers into your mouth, sucking and swirling your tongue around them. the low chuckle that escapes him tells you just how much he enjoys it.
“you like that, hm?” he asks. you moan softly around his fingers, your response muffled but desperate.
he withdraws his fingers, his lips curving into a satisfied smirk. leaning down, he wraps an arm around your waist, lifting you slightly until your back is against his chest. you can feel his length pressing against your ass, you move your hips a little causing a little friction.
his hands slide over your breasts, kneading them with just enough pressure to send shivers down your spine.
you melt into his touch, your head lolling back against his shoulder as his fingers pinch and roll your hardened nipples, sending sparks of pleasure through your body.
“want me to fuck you, baby?” his voice is soft against your shoulder as he places feather light kisses along your skin. he nips gently, his hands never stopping their teasing, and you can’t help the whimper that escapes when his fingers pinch just a bit harder.
“y-yes,” you mewl, voice shaky with need, “fuck me, jungkook.”
he squeezes your breasts harder, a groan rumbling from his chest as he sinks his teeth lightly into the curve of your shoulder.
“yeah? can i fuck you raw?” he whispers, his breath hot against your ear.
“yes,” you gasp, your voice barely more than a whimper. “p-please.”
his grip on you loosens slightly, and he leans back to look at you, his eyes dark, like he's stopping himself. “you sure?” he asks, one last time, his tone gentle but urgent.
you nod quickly, breathless. “i’m on the pill,” you assure him, and the tension in his shoulders eases.
“fuck. okay, bend over.”
without hesitation, you resume your previous position, arching your back and presenting yourself to him. he groans softly at the sight, his hand sliding down to rub slow circles over your entrance.
he teases you, slipping a finger inside, making you moan softly as your walls flutter around him. he withdraws his finger, watching the way you clench around nothing, desperate for more.
grabbing his cock, he taps the swollen tip against your slick hole. you whine, impatience leaking into your voice, “just fuck me already.”
a smirk curves his lips, and without another word, he pushes into you.
you grip the sheets tightly as you take him in fully, your walls stretching to accommodate his thick length. a choked gasp escapes your lips, eyes squeezing shut at the delicious burn that quickly morphs into pleasure.
each inch fills you so completely, leaving you breathless, your body trembling at the feeling.
“fuck,” he groans behind you, his voice low and rough, a sound that makes your toes curl. “you’re so tight, baby... taking me so fucking good.” the words are almost a growl, filled with barely restrained control as he fights the urge to pound into you.
his hands move to your hips, gripping them hard enough to leave marks, steadying himself as he sinks even deeper.
your moans spill freely now, raw and needy, muffled slightly by the pillow you bury your face into. he starts to move, slowly at first, pulling out just enough before thrusting back in, his cock brushing against that sweet spot inside you.
the rhythm is torturously slow, each stroke making you whimper, your back arching even further in a silent plea for more.
“please... more,” you manage to gasp out, your voice shaky. “jungkook, i need it.. need you.”
“yeah?” he rasps, picking up the pace, thrusts becoming sharper, each one driving you into the mattress. “want it harder, baby? want me to ruin you?”
“yes.. yes mmph- more!” you cry, your voice breaking as he slams into you harder, the sound of skin slapping against skin filling the room. your nails claw at the sheets, the friction of his hips against your ass making stars dance behind your eyelids.
his fingers snake around to your front, finding your swollen clit, and he rubs it in tight, quick circles. your entire body jolts, your hips bucking back against him as you let out a loud, broken moan.
“oh, fuck, that’s it, that's a good fucking girl,” he hisses, feeling you clench around him, your walls fluttering as you near the edge.
“you’re gonna cum for me, aren’t you?” he growls against your ear, bending over you now, his hot breath fanning against your neck. he bites down on your shoulder, not hard enough to hurt, but enough to drive you wild.
“you're gonna cum like the good girl you are?”
“yes n-ngh.. i’m close.. s-so close,” you whimper, your thighs trembling uncontrollably. his fingers press harder against your clit, his thrusts turning frantic.
“cum with me, baby” he demands, his voice thick and commanding. that’s all it takes. your body shatters. your vision going white as you scream his name. your walls squeeze him so tightly, milking his cock, and with a deep, guttural groan, he loses himself too, spilling inside you as his thrusts grow sloppy.
he stays buried inside you, his chest heaving against your back, both of you panting heavily. he leans down to press soft, lazy kisses along your shoulder.
after everything that just happened. you've made up your mind.
you're definitely going to ask for his number.
a/n: erm.. don't get into random strangers cars !! haha
#jeon jungkook#jeon jungkook x reader#fanfic#bts jungkook#jungkook smut#bts fanfiction#jungkook fic#jeon jungkook fanfic#jjk x y/n#jungkook x y/n#fanfiction
500 notes
·
View notes
Text
I’m going to become a modern Socrate with you (/silly) it is really tragic how people don’t do more with them considering their character like Scott’s brand vs his personality is like the when you learn the general cutsey unicorn mermaid ( this is his brand) idea of mythos was gentrification for marketing and they can actually get really gruesome and insane (his personality) like that is the best analogy I can think of him. He is yuor angle or yuor devil. Sweet kind sassy gay man but he can and will say and do evil things to you. And Martyn on the other hand is just literally so big dog codded. He has his set people he sticks with that are his and he gets possessive. He’ll kill for them but when the time comes he’s not afraid to, as my friend rose has said, treat them as equals and have a fair fight with them. And they know this, but even after that he still holds them near and dear. And a lot of people think Martyn gets remorseful over that but he doesn’t. It never made sense to me, hes a guy who’s getting kicked and tortured around by gods yes, but he’s also out for blood. in the same light Martyn is also a dork loser (affectionate) The thing about Scott and Martyn though is that they’re both loyal in different ways but it just works so well together too. Like I’ll never get over how Scott let Martyn kill him because he didn’t want anyone else to have his time. And then when Scott was talking about Martyns birthday party with him (important to add HE KNEW WHEN HIS BIRTHDAY ON THE ACTUAL DATE AND NONE OF THE OTHERS DID) he was like “Scott could I please kill you it’s my birthday 🥺” he loves it. He loves it sooooo much because he’s a freak. And it was so pathetic and sad what’s wrong with him. but also Scott’s the one who’d put himself up on the chopping block for him and let Martyn kill him. That is their love. That invented love. And Scott has said he’d would even wanna pair up with him again and again in later series if he didn’t have his allies. In contrast to how flower husbands said they weren’t coming back. They are both just able to be their craziest around each other!!! But GRAAAAHHH I DONT SEE MANY PPL USE STUFF WITH IT. HELL I KNOW SCOTT AND MARTYN ARE EVEN MORE ABNORMAL IN OTHER SMPS. I know the mcyt loves cannibalism but Yknow I’ve only seen ONE FIC where they cannibalize each other AND THAT WAS THE MOST INSANE THING IVE SEEN WITH THEM SO FAR AND ?? IT COULD BE SO MUCH MORE INSANE?? PLEASE MAKE THWM WORSE GUYS PLEASEEEEE LET ME OUT OF THE BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE IT CAN BE SO MICH WORSE THAN CANNLIBLISM
Anyways I had more to say but I’m jsut sososos not normal
I think we should have Martyn and Scott be more insane
#clownzonthemic#i am RAMBLING but I had to have a huge gap between typing this and I was gonna say more#like in pirates I know martyn is doing so much mroe worse shit as well#and when I finish it is over for y’all#Pirates is so gooddddd I wish more people saw it#But a lot of life series fans focus on scar jimmy grian Pearl to a lesser extent#And all the crazier fics I’ve seen are scarian#But it sucks cleo martyn Pearl and Scott are not talked abt as much in general either#especially martyn limited life was so good dude#but a lot of life series depictions I see too DONT have martyn exist much away from dogwarts and ren#and I have yet to really delve into the third life pov of them and don’t get me wrong though what I’ve seen great dynamics#but martyn also has so much goin for him as well with all his other allies especially what he had with Scott!!#Treebark is good but you can also do really cool and crazy stuff with majorwood#My tags derailed a little bit obviously no hate to treebark I ship it too#but also omgomgkmg#the things you could do with majorwood#our well so dry….#but it’s okay I can be the change I want to see in the world I just need motivation#majorwood#Let these boys go crazy and kiss and kill and much more amen
112 notes
·
View notes
Text
rewatching 13s era for me is not so much diminishing returns as it is something opposite and eviler...............increasing losses? increasing losses
#every time i rewatch an episode the points where it couldve been better poke me in the eye#maybe probably the exact same thing would happen with any other thing i would get this obsessed about#you stare at something long enough its flaws will become ever more apparent#you love something enough everything it could have been but IS NOT becomes ever more painful#i watched 13x5 tonight.........honestly what the fuck goes on#no these were my responses now 3 years and probably a dozen rewatches in:#1) what the fuck goes on#2) philosophically stilll utterly unintelligible to me i might be stupid#swarm and azures whole thing. like. everything they say about their Schemes is completely......incoherent. i dont understand it.am i stupid#3) feels like most agents in these plots are just doing busywork. but might be my inability to understand plot again#but like diane?? who is she what is she why is she#4) 13s message to yaz 'flux destroys universe so refugees coming take over earth your task' is.....like.....profoundly......wtf#and seemingly easily fixable: flux destroys universe refugees come to earth find a way to welcome them#get unit involved THAT way. right?#unit as the liaison between humanity and alienity. rebrand#but maybe that doesnt work with the snakeman plot idfk im stupid with plot#5) scenes between 13 and tecteun couldve been so much more. mastervoice: i have Notes. first and least: tecteun shouldve called her Child#damn now i want to do 13 era rewrite again#i really should do that one day i think it would be good for my skills#turn it into a good oldfashioned 13 ep series. still one story tho. but to deepen everything out a bit more#actually getting into all the stuff thats only sort of Touched upon#making swarm and azure not only make sense but also emotionally important and if possible even lore-wise interesting#more abt the division past. doesnt need to be shown in detail if the absence is the point. that doesnt mean there cant be more absence#swarm&azure lore + division lore + vinder&bel lore in separate pieces starting to show a horrible puzzle when put together#yaz and dan in 1900s for 3 full eps or so. time to breathe. more yaz&13 stuff. a lot more 13&yaz stuff#i think that might actually be the heart of it. maybe it should be the heart of it#leaning into that 13-tecteun parallel. the frustration and resentment. build up to the 'so why are you SO interested in him!' stuff#more of their life in the tardis just the two of them without buffer#i kinda want to play with like a lot more body language between them which the camera doesnt allow as we have it#like zoom the fuck out pls
6 notes
·
View notes
Note
i think you honestly have the best use of shapes ever! really enjoy ur explanation for that buildings tutorial cus its a nice way of thinking abt simplification and stuff :D that being said are there any artists you specifically study for their shape design? or did discover ur process through experimentation?
Gotta be SO real with you.
BDoubleO100.
His builds are so fun to study and it travels to his 2D/3D art as well -I feel sick- Bdubs has such a strong read on form and every block/brushstroke has a function his artstyle just has so much PERSONALITY.. I aspire to be as good as him some day ><
If anything I love the Building with Bdubs series loads. A lot of what he says in there comes from literal art and architecture terms - his care for composition and moving around in a space …. He’s so cool
The horticulturalist building I love especially when he shows things like This.
Cuz yes “If the shape is great, you’re going to be fine” he’s right, everything else comes second nature when you have a defined Shape. Would recommend just watching those videos through an artist’s mindset he’s awesome. I love Bdubs :]
#ask stufff#stufff rambles#aliensssrefs#bdoubleo100#Bdubs#hermitblr#mcytblr#a two parter I promise know more artists than just… Bdubs 😭#tagging properly cuz I thinks everyone should see Bdubs’ art for once in their life and forever and ever
500 notes
·
View notes
Text
Mean Girls - Eren Jaeger
synopsis. Eren's the new kid at Trost Academy and being fresh meat in his senior year isn't easy. Especially so when the only friends he's made yet have managed to convince him to help them mess with "The Plastics". The problem?
He's got the biggest crush on their queen bee, Y/N.
series masterlist.
chapter warnings. Foul language, rich ppl, mentions of vomit, mentions of shitting your pants (what even are these warnings LMAO), laxatives, mentions of giving a character laxatives, hitch is a bitch (I love her I’m sorry I made her like this), drama drama drama, a lot of menstrual product talk (these characters are very comfortable talking abt these things!)
chapter synopsis. From a brawl at the supermarket to a meeting with the Queen bee’s arch nemesis, our trio’s plan preparations seem to be coming together! Though, will learning some lore regarding our resident plastics impede on Eren’s drive? Perhaps the future isn’t looking so bright for our revenge seekers…
chapter 2. Fuck with the Plastics: start
"Bag secured, over." Mikasa spoke in her usual monotone voice.
"And... you're completely sure that this will only make her a bit gassy, right 'kasa?" Armin spoke next, the shake in his voice painfully obvious even through the speaker of Eren's phone. With no answer, he tries again, "Guys? Hello?"
Silence.
"You're supposed to say 'over', Armin!"
"Oh! Over."
"Alright, mine is secured too... over?" Eren announced as he slipped his arm through the plastic bag, doing his best to be inconspicuous, though the hood over his head isn't helping his case. His attire was mostly to calm his troubled conscience.
The three way call had one purpose and a very important one at that.
Phase one of 'Fuck with The Plastics'.
"Good boy," Mikasa purred and Eren swore he could hear the mischievous grin his reply had caused to form on her face. "Now Armin, relax. All this is gonna do is make her tummy a bit upset, a little gas here and there never hurt anyone. She'll get the humiliation she made Eren bear... only much much worse because of her status, plus ruin her chances of winning this highly anticipated game and possibly her entire athletic career. Over."
"Please, stop repeating what could go wrong. I'm getting nauseous again..." Eren groans into the speaker.
"Mikasa, you say that now but, what if she's allergic to it or something? Ohmylanta, what if she dies?!" Armin screeches and Eren fears he may begin to wail soon. "I don't wanna go to jail guys! I can't go back!"
"Geez Louise, Armin." Eren winces as he pulls the phone away from his ear. "My ears are bleeding."
"Oh wait Eren, now that you reminded me, can you get me some pads from the store? My cycle is pretty heavy today." Mikasa asks.
"Uh, T-M-I Mikasa..." Armin mutters as he glances around the student aid center. His portion of contribution to the trio's master plan is arguably the least interesting, though the boy didn't seem to mind. All he was put in charge of was attaining their tickets for the game, which they receive free of charge with their student ID's.
"Mikasa, I'm literally already walking out of the store." Eren says exasperatedly, though his pace has already begun to falter in preparation for his U-turn.
"Well then, go back? If I bleed out all over the bleachers, it's your jacket I'm using to wipe it clean. The ball is in your court."
"Oh my gosh, fine!" Eren relents. "What size?"
"XXL."
Silence reigns over the three, and Eren swears everyone in the supermarket had audibly halted all movements along with them.
"Mikasa, you know damn well..." Armin begins.
"Armin! Shut the hell up, the length helps with my leakage so mind your own business!"
"Zayum, okay geez."
"Wings or no wings?" Eren asks, already having made his way back into the multiple isles freshly restocked.
"Wings, please. I want to be ready for anything." The girl answers ominously.
"I don't even want to know what that means. I'll head back to the academy after I'm done with this, where do you guys want to meet?"
"The restrooms near the cafeteria are right beside the doors that lead to a path straight to the stadium. We can meet there." Armin suggests, already beginning to make his way towards the meeting spot.
"Okay. Actually, since I'm here, do you guys want any snacks for the game?" Eren asks while he grabs a box of fruit roll ups and a bag of hot Cheetos for himself. "How long does a soccer game last?"
"A little under an hour and thirty minutes, and that's if they don't go into over time which they probably will, considering who they're playing against." Mikasa answers, "Oh, and I'll take an oat meal crème pie and a red Gatorade. But! The one with the twistable cap that you can suck on."
"We'll see how long this one will last with what we have planned, though." Armin mutters into the speaker anxiously, "Anyway, I'll take some Skittles, baby Gerber puffs, Teddy Grahams, Hubba Bubba, strawberry Hello Pandas, Scooby-Doo snacks, Gushers, Pirate's Booty-"
Eren hangs up before the other boy could finish, deciding it wasn't worth his weekly allowance.
He had already arrived at the feminine hygiene products aisle by the time Armin had sent him the remaining 27 items on his wishlist for tonight, which Eren promptly ignored. The wall that held most of the menstrual supplies was expanse and slightly intimidating to the teenage boy's eyes, though that was not to say he was taken off guard. Having a close relationship with your mother desensitizes you to a large amount of aspects of womanhood that most immature boys his age would either cringe at or ridicule.
He knows the brand his mother uses is best for absorbing, but they're not the best at being discreet. He wonders which Mikasa would prefer, though he decides that coverage and preventing leakage must have been her priority considering her earlier words. Deciding upon the trustworthy brand he had always picked up on late night pad runs with his mom, he notices how it seems to be the only brand that has yet to be restocked. The one in his hand being the very last one in XXL.
As he turns to leave the isle, a high pitched voice, practically whining curse words, catches his attention. Before he instinctively turns his head towards the sound, he internally prays for there to be no reenactment of his first encounter with Armin, knowing he couldn't bear to handle another stereotypical bully, much less work up the courage to stand up to them once more.
"They don't have that one today, I swear I've looked everywhere!" The, now visible, person speaks into the cell phone clutched to his ear. "I don't know? Does everyone suddenly use the biggest size available? I know you do not need double X."
It seems to be a young boy, perhaps only a few years younger than Eren himself, with messily styled H/C hair and a few piercings adorning his delicate face.
"The one with the purple flowers on the box or the navy blue one with the stars?" The young boy asks, his impatience slowly making its way into his features.
Wait, purple flowers?
Eren's gaze moves back toward the box in his hands and his eyes trace those exact purple flowers printed and plastered smack dab in the center. Though, he knows there are tons of other brands that use matching floral patterns, perhaps this boy was looking for the one with the green background instead of the pink one Eren held.
"The one with the pink box, right?" The boy asks.
Well, perhaps he was searching for the 7 hour wear edition instead of the 8 hour one Eren got for Mikasa. Surely that was the case-
"8 hour version? Do you need to charge it or something, why is there a time limit?"
Certainly he couldn't be looking for the same size, not many people would be as paranoid as Mikasa due to leakage-
"Mm, XXL? Oh, cause of leakage, got it."
Run, that's what Eren needs to do. He knows how far passionate boyfriends would go for their lovers, especially ones as young as the boy he is sharing the aisle with. Kids his age will either pay romantic relationships no heed or take them far too seriously.
Though, before he could pivot in the other direction, the boy ends the call and turns to presumably search for the pink floral box in the size XXL. Coincidentally, the exact box Eren plans to buy.
The last box.
Green meets E/C.
His heart drops to his ass and his arm hastily shields the prized object behind his back as visible sweat forms on his forehead. Though, truly his efforts were all for naught.
Silence follows as the two teenagers hold eye contact, one accompanied with worry creases near his brows and the other with an unamused pout to his lips.
"Those are the last double X they have in stock, aren't they?"
"...Perchance..."
The H/C boy sighs and holds his hands up in surrender. "Look, dude. I come in peace, it's fine. What do I look like to you? Someone who would go batshit over menstrual products?" Eren shakes his head hastily, to which the younger boy agrees. Of course, what was Eren thinking? Incriminating a person who looked to be no older than the age of 15 was not cool on his part.
"You're right, My bad."
Letting any past thoughts flee his mind, Eren resumes his standstill with the stranger, neither seemingly knowing what to do next...
...before the stranger juts a finger behind Eren and exclaims, "Hey, look over there, it's TSwift!"
"What?! Where?!"
Eren was tackled to the ground and landed with a coherent 'oof', the assailant clambering on top of his chest and tugging at his arms to loosen the tight grip on the box that remains in his hands.
"That was a low blow, you psycho! I haven't seen her since I was in fifth grade!" Eren whines as he tries to free himself. Deciding that his actions were amounting to nothing, he thrusts the box away from his body and above his head, the cardboard sliding across the tiled floor of the supermarket.
"Morality is non-existent when it comes to the last box of pads, pretty boy!" The younger boy grits as he abandons Eren's body in favor of stumbling to his feet to reach the box.
As the boy steps over his head, Eren grabs onto one of his leather boots, causing him to plummet with his fingers outstretched only inches away from the prize. Eren flips himself onto his stomach and scrambles over the other boy, laying a palm atop his face to thwart his vision. In retaliation, though not after a sharp squawk, the boy chomps on the fingers overlaid his mouth, causing the brunet to cry out in pain.
"Give up!" The boy demands, "I don't care if I have to bite every one of your fingers off, I'll be leaving with that box!" He declares and delivers a torturous blow to Eren's crotch, causing him to wheeze and topple over in pain. "Aha!" The boy proclaims as he nears his victory, emitting a cry of premature success.
Though, before his slender fingers are able to reach the jackpot, his worst fear is born into existence.
"My Prada boots!" He squeals in agony and fear as Eren holds the cherished shoe above his head triumphantly and a pained smirk creases onto his face. "Don't you dare you monster, they're monolith!"
"You rich people are all the same," Eren scoffs as he throws the boot aways behind him, not sparing a glance in the direction as the boy abandons the box in favor of running over to his beloved shoe. Eren limps over to the pink box and swipes it up with an exhausted sigh escaping his lips. "I win." He states in a cocky tone, taking pride over the brawl he emerged victorious from, already preening at the amount of bragging rights he had just earned himself. "Mikasa, you owe me big time- ack!"
Not without a war cry, the unrelenting stranger rams a shopping cart into Eren's body, forcing the brunet back onto the ground and causing the box to slip out of his grasp and slide onto the floor once again.
"Never mess with my Prada boots again," He heaves and delicately steps over to the abandoned box, taking it into his hold and placing a kiss atop the the printed flowers. "Auggie, you're awesome." He then turns to face Eren and boldly upturns his pierced nose at the sight of the older boy sprawled on the floor. "You put up a good fight, unfortunately for you I reign superio-"
"I didn't hear a bell!" Eren shouts as he springs up and tackles the shorter boy, resulting in the two wrestling on the ground once again, just as they had originally started. Scratching, kicking, and biting their way across the floor, though noticeably making zero progress towards the box they both sought out.
An awkward cough acts as the bucket of cold water that halts their movements, both boys craning their heads in the direction of the sound alike deers in headlights.
An employee that hauled a cart filled to the brim with pink cardboard boxes and printed purple flowers decorating their surfaces stood before their tangled ball of limbs, gifting them a critical stare. Leisurely, and hesitatingly so, she tucks the prized boxes where they belong, before scurrying away with her haul of products stacked into her squeaky cart.
An air of silence follows the departure of the poor retail worker, both boys remaining stunned by the sudden appearance. Though, after realizing what a compromising position they had been caught in, the unraveling of their limbs went unspoken as they stood simultaneously.
Another awkward cough, though this one originating from the brunet, filled the vacant space between the two. Eren grabs ahold of one of the boxes that was recently stocked, his head hanging low in embarrassment. "So..." He utters hesitatingly.
The younger boy clears his throat, "M sry." He mutters.
"What?"
"I said I'm sorry! ...I know that Tswift joke was wrong of me."
Eren sighs in resignation, now realizing how idiotic his actions were, especially considering the fact that he seemed to be the older of the two. "It's fine. I guess we were both signed up for errand boy today, huh?"
The stranger shook his head, "Yeah but, to be honest, this is my first time going on a pad run for my sister. I wasn't 'old enough' a few years ago, and even then we don't usually do our own shopping. Our butler handles all of that."
"Oh..." It was stupid of Eren to forget that most people in his city were lathered in riches, but he did. His recent encounter with this new boy only furthered his forgetfulness, because what sort of opulent teenage boy was willing to engage in a full out brawl for a box of pads? "Well, either way. I'm guessing these aren't for you?"
"Nah, they're for my sister's friends. But, she can get pretty impatient real quickly and I'm not in the mood to deal with teenage Godzilla. She'd probably run me over with her convertible."
The mental image of Godzilla driving a convertible, only to then run over an edgy teen made Eren chuckle, "I get it, this size seems to be in high demand."
"My sister says that it's because of leakage, whatever the hell that means. I don't even think I want to know."
Eren smiled sympathetically, little brother ignorance was something he knew about all too well. "So, why are you here instead of your butler? I think I would have stood a better chance against him if I'm being honest."
The boy shrugs nonchalantly, "She says it's an emergency. Those girls can get pretty scary when in a state of panic. For being older than me, you'd think they'd be better at dealing with stress."
"I understand completely." Eren huffed in exhaustion, "My friends and I are dealing with these real popular kids at our school, we've got an ulterior motive of course, but we've seen a fair share of their antics and I can tell we'll have our hands full. At least the pay off will be worth it. We have a whole plan and everything."
The boy cackled a laugh that shook his whole body and clapped a palm onto the older boy's shoulder, "You don't say? What's such a good prize worth dealing with what seems to be a bunch of rich maggots eating away at your soul?" He asked.
"Well, it has to do with this girl..." Eren begun to attempt to elucidate the entire situation to this stranger but in the end only arrived with stutters, before he decided that the effort of reliving his trauma was not worth it. He sighed, "It's a long story."
Unexpectedly, a highly pitched rendition of 'I'm Just a Kid' began to chime in the stranger's pants, causing him to wince and groan in annoyance. "A story that I can't stay for, unfortunately." He muttered before slipping the device out of his pocket. "It's Godzilla." He confirmed his suspicions but made no moves to accept the call. Instead, he offered a jeweled hand towards the brunet.
This hand wasn't like the one that was offered to him earlier today. Instead of diamonds and gold, silver and various colored stones wrapped around this boy's digits, crowning them with luxury and status.
"My name's Augustine, but you can call me August." He paired with a friendly grin, bringing attention to the silver lip ring hung on his bottom lip.
For some reason, this boy struck something within Eren. He didn't know what it was, but there was a sense of reminiscence flooding his senses when he stared at his smile. The reminiscence that creeps up on you when you look at your sibling and recognize that the shirt they have on is in fact not theirs but yours.
He can't put his finger on it... but August reminded him of someone.
Nonetheless, he excepted his dressed hand with his own bare one. "Eren, it's just Eren."
"Alright, just Eren. I have to go, but hopefully I'll see you around!" August called out as he scampered down the aisle before Eren could have gotten another word of parting out.
What a nice guy, Eren hopes to see him again.
After grabbing the snacks that his newest friends had ordered, promptly ignoring 25 items on Armin's list, he pays the nice woman working the register and makes his departure. By the time he steps back on the pavement, the sun has begun its decent, painting the concrete buildings and vibrant trees in a golden hue.
Trost truly is a beautiful district — the architecture alone places it on a superior level when compared to many other extravagant districts out there.
Eren himself has never lived the kind of life that his new friends or acquaintances were born into. Although having a successful doctor for a dad, it was never an aspect that had ever brought upon wealth for the Jeager family. His mom rapidly rising in her fashion designer career is what has brought him to such a district as this one. Mrs. Jaeger is well on her way to being known for her individuality, and he couldn't be filled with more pride.
Having to leave his old school was pretty easy for him, he had never had many friends there anyway. Sure there were the few he could greet in the hallways, but none that had ever willingly stricken a genuine conversation with him, much less an interesting one. Though, that's not to say the experience of moving out of the blue in your senior year was something he was excited about either, that wouldn't be a nice time for anyone.
It was just his luck that he'd already made a fool out of himself on his very first day. In front of his crush to boot.
Y/N Ackerman.
He wouldn't lie to himself and proclaim that he has no feelings towards the girl. He quite literally puked on her because the amount of emotions she made him feel at a single glance proved to be overbearing to his body. Though, a portion of himself finds itself conflicted. Actually, scratch that - multiple portions of himself find themselves conflicted. As if the little people in his head are arguing against each other, and he isn't sure which side he should be on.
On one hand, the purple person that he decides to name Armeen is arguing that he should hate the girl. Mikasa said that Y/N had surely made it her goal to embarrass Eren in an attempt to solidify her superiority against him and that she was a vicious person with the ugliest soul she had ever seen.
On another, the red person, Mika Mika, proclaimed that he already hates her. Armin and Mikasa have informed him of her vile friends, the people she willingly surrounds herself with. She condones their actions by mere association. Not to mention the absolute joke she had made of him, which was sure to have cost him a year's worth of ill-repute. Hell, probably even the rest of his soon to be miserable life.
But then, as if he had grown a sudden third hand, there appeared a pink person. This one unnamed, whispered details the other two would surely never approve of. How could she be a vicious person, when she had went out of her own way to not only invite him, but his only friends, to her highly anticipated game AND her own home, knowing that everyone in their grade had heard the abrupt invitation? She was willingly attempting to help him fix his image. How could the person those little people in his head describe as ruthless and callous, ever make his insides light on fire, as if he was a skewered rotisserie chicken on a white Sunday morning? How could the devil herself bring upon him feelings only talked about in movies?
Manipulation.
Gaslighting someone to their wits' end by batting her fluffy lashes. It's an old tactic really, but one that would never die out, nor could it. Eren isn't stupid, he knows the truth of the situation. How dire a messy set up like this could have affected her reputation as well, he gets it. Understands that measures need to be taken to prevail through such a trying time. When you're at the top, tiptoeing a razors edge, everyone at the bottom has a clear shot to shoot you down. Those mean comments and accusations of prejudice are just the paint strokes crafting a precise target onto her back.
But, to bring him and his friends into her little scheme?
To escape that threat, you need to move, and to move, you need stepping stones. Eren won't let himself or his friends be used as stepping stones.
That's exactly the reason why the three of them have developed a plan to knock her off of her prodigious throne. No longer will they allow the Queen Bee of Trost Academy to continue her reign of exploitation.
Instead, she will... shit her pants?
Well, that's the best they could come up with, so it'll have to do.
It was simple in nature really, Eren simply needed to buy her a drink, one that Mikasa claims has always been her favorite pick to drink before a game, though Eren still questions how she even had that information, and then he will offer that said drink to her as a peace offering.
A seemingly innocent gesture, except it's not. Mikasa was in charge of acquiring laxatives which they would infuse into the refreshment, which Y/N would drink and whatever happened next would be left up to fate. Though, Armin had elucidated three paths that which this plan could take.
Probability 1: She'd harbor a stomach ache, forcing her to be benched due to her poor performance, effectively eliminating the captain of Trost's varsity soccer team. Ruining her image, their chances of winning their vital game of the year, and her life.
Probability 2: She'd fart up a storm, or worse, ruining her image of the ideal senior of the year, their chances of winning their vital game of the year, and her life.
Probability 3: She'd pull an Eren and projectile vomit all over her teammates and opponents. Ruining her stellar image, their chances of winning their vital game of the year, and her life.
The third was preferred for their goal of seeking revenge, but they wouldn't complain if either of the other two played out perfectly.
"Finally, Eren! You took so long, we started to wonder if you had gotten lost on the way here." Armin says as the boy approaches their meeting spot.
"I did, three times. There is no need for this school to be so damn huge."
"Well, you're here now so..." Mikasa surreptitiously looks over her shoulder and then Eren's, "You got the goods?" She asks.
"Stop acting shifty Mikasa, you're making me nervy." Eren rebukes, eyes glancing from side to side in paranoia.
"Do you have it or not." She exasperatedly asks. He timidly ushers the plastic bag her way, his back moving to obstruct the exchange from any prying eyes. "Good boy, keep me covered and I'll crush these bad boys and then pour them in."
"Hurry 'Kasa, I don't wanna go to jail!" Armin's nerves get the best of him, and just as Mikasa began to pour the laxatives into the energy drink, his trembling palms latch onto her shoulders and begin to shake her back and forth. Unfortunately, the forcible motions cause her hand to slip and pour more than what was necessary for what they had planned. "Oops..." He breathes.
Eren's jaw drops at the amount, "Holy shit, are you- are you sure that's okay?" A dramatic gasp forcibly rasps his throat, "She's not actually gonna die, right?!"
"Uhm... no... I don't think so."
"What do you mean, you don't think so?!" He screeches.
"Ohmygosh,we'regoingtojailI'mnotbuiltforthatimgonnadie-"
"Armin, chill." Mikasa grits, before twisting the cap of the bottle and giving it a good shake. "She'll be fine, we're not going to jail. All that'll change is the addition of one more possibility, which is shitting her pants for real."
"I thought we were only joking about that? You mean she'll actually shart herself?" Eren asks.
"Yeah," Mikasa declares with no amount of remorse in her irises, simply tilting her head to face him head on, smirk standing proud on her lips. "Even better than we planned, right? Give the bitch the humiliation she deserves."
After a moment of maintaining arduous eye contact with the ravenette, Eren relents, throwing his head back to stare at the ceiling instead and interlocking both hands in his shaggy hair. "You're crazy. Like deadass, you belong in a mental hospital."
"Okay but, wait. The bottle is already open, no one who has a right mind would accept an already opened drink from someone she met yesterday." Armin points out, ever the observer.
"Well, she's gonna have to in order for this plan to work..." Mikasa mumbles, lips pursing in thought. "Oh, Eren! Why don't you be a doll and offer to open it for her, that way she wouldn't even notice it has already been open." She announces with a proud nod, clearly impressed with her solution.
Eren however, isn't as impressed. If anything, the pit in his stomach twists and turns even tighter, bringing forth creases onto the surface of his skin as his face lightly scrunches in disgust. Playing a direct hand in the demise of anyone's athletic career can be catastrophic to the psyche, though he doubts Mikasa's is being affected much if at all.
"Fine."
"Good boy-"
"Stop calling me that!"
"Anyway, we should get going now. Or else, we'd be late. The game starts in 20 minutes, and the walk there is about five, give or take. Though, the introductions take up a good 10 to 15." She ignores the boy.
"Plus, we still need to find seats. Hopefully we won't have to sit on the opposing team's side, or else we'd be royally fucked." Armin adds as they exit the school building.
The pathway that leads them directly towards the stadium is beautiful and cleanly. The school itself is exceptionally cared for, with vibrant green bushes that looked as if they were clipped with the utmost precision. Marbled vases for various other plants and polished benches littered across the lawn oozed a luxurious aura.
"Who are they playing against?" Eren asks.
"I think it's Stohess Prep." Armin answers.
"Oh, that means drama~" Mikasa adds, "10 bucks Levi chokes out Coach Nile?"
"Mm, nah. 20 bucks it's Ymir and Hitch." Armin replies, pointer finger prodding at the fat of his cheek in thought.
"Oh, I forgot about those two. 30 Y/N is forced to step in either way."
"40 bucks she joins."
"50 that they recreate that one Euphoria scene from season 2."
"60 someone yells plus ultra."
"70 bucks Y/N gets hit by a bus and dies."
"..."
"..."
"Okay, you need an exorcist." Armin quips.
"I've been wondering, why do you hate her so much? There's gotta be history you're not telling me." Eren asks the girl.
It was true, he can feel the animosity she seemingly reigns in 24/7 and he wonders if it was at all reciprocated. Though, he has the feeling that it's heavily one sided.
"Mikasa and Y/N-"
"Armin, shut it." The girl grits before her friend could have thought to utter the remainder of his statement.
Eren groans, "Armin, don't shut it. Open it. Open it wide."
"Don't word it like that, Eren..."
"I just don't see the point," Mikasa admits, though her face was telling to how difficult the situation seems to be for her, "What's in the past should be left there, why open up that can of worms?"
"I don't know if you've noticed, but it's pretty damn obvious that those worms have been out for a while now. You don't think I've noticed how personal this seems to be for you?" Eren rebuts.
"Oh, and I'm not supposed to notice how personal this is for you? As in, more than just some revenge brought upon by petty high school humiliation?" She challenges, and her piercing gaze bore into Eren's own. "You've made your little crush pretty obvious, the addition of this information might change more than you think it would, Eren."
"Who I have a crush on is none of your business. Besides, yeah, I'll admit I'm not blind, I can tell Y/N is an attractive girl. You can't blame me for admitting so, but a silly little school crush is just a silly little school crush at the end of the day. I don't get how your past with her had anything to do with something as minuscule as that."
Mikasa's arms crossed before her chest in frustration, and she kept her head forward, not relenting at unsealing her lips. Though, Armin, being placed in the middle of both teens, hates being a quiet middleman.
"Y/N and Mikasa are cousins." He blurts.
Eren's jaw drops, "What?!" His fingers thread through his hair once again, this time gripping at the roots because what the actual fuck. "You're fucking with me, right?"
Armin shakes his head vehemently, "Deadass. They even have the same last name! You'd have never guessed, right?"
"Well, not really. Like, at all."
"Trust me, I wish it wasn't true either." Mikasa sighs.
Eren's arms flail before him defensively, "No! It's not that I wish it weren't true, it's just that it's hard to believe considering how you guys are like polar opposites. I mean she's so... y'know-" He awkwardly shrugs his shoulders, expecting the action to speak the words he couldn't find in himself to utter out loud. "And you're... y'know..."
Armin coughs, "Emo."
"I'm not emo! As a matter of fact, I'm not even a goth, contrary to popular belief. I'm just edgy, how hard is it to look up, people?!"
"...what's the difference?"
"Oh, shut up, Armin! That's why your balls haven't dropped!"
"You promised you wouldn't bring that up anymore!"
"Armin, your balls haven't dropped?"
"Oh, look! We're here!"
As Eren looked before them, he was met with the front of an impressive industrialized soccer stadium. The words 'Home of the Scouts' were engraved above the entrance in proud bold letters. He notices that they are currently standing in the middle of the massive parking lot, containing multiple first class busses bearing the titles 'Stohess Stallions'.
Guessing that those belong to the opposing team, and that team was no where to be found, Eren concludes that both teams must be inside already. Which begs the question, how late is this trio?
"You're in the way."
Eren nearly jumps out of his skin at the sudden stern voice, and the freight was not limited to himself. Armin squeaks and hides behind his two friends, using them as human shields, though Mikasa simply whips around with a nasty scowl at her face because, who would have the audacity?
Oh, that's who.
"Hitch." She grits.
Coming face to face with a group of girls clad in forest green shorts and jersey's, though their matching team jackets obscured the latter, was intimidating, to say the least. The one standing with the most pride, right at the front and center, wore a smug smirk on her face that her short and wavy dirty blonde hair framed beautifully.
"Well, well, well, would you look at who we have here." She drawls with a laugh. "This is such an interesting trio you guys have going on."
"Mikasa who is this, and why did she come up to us like an anime villain?" Eren whispers towards the ravenette.
"Just our luck." The girl mutters under her breath, not at all a just answer in Eren's eyes, but he was not about to voice his thoughts.
The stranger eyeballs Eren in a way that a certain Ackerman did just a few hours earlier in the day, though this time it did not have him weak in the knees, instead an eerie shiver ran down the length of his spine and caused him to gulp down a yelp.
"Come lookin' for a barf bag, new kid?" She decides to single him out directly, "You know, it's almost funny. I always have the same reaction you did when I see Ackerman as well! I don't blame you, hell, I'd even praise you if it wasn't so disgustingly embarrassing." She jests. "You are new aren't ya? Man, the balls you must have to pull that stunt on your very first day. Oh, the look on her face was enough to have me in tears, I've got to tell you."
"It wasn't on purpose." He mumbles with an eye roll.
"Oh, be careful Hitch. You'll make him mad and we just had our jerseys dry cleaned." Comes a voice from beside her, one of her teammates presumably. This draws out many more chuckles from the group of girls, causing Eren's cheeks to heat up from the jab at his poor stomach.
That voice, low but smooth, causes both Armin and Mikasa to stiffen, as if they had recognized it.
"No way..." Armin mutters, his eyes widening in surprise as the owner of the voice made herself visible.
Another blonde, though this one a paler tone, with glacial blue eyes and a sloped nose emerged from the group, a large bag slung over her shoulders and purple cleats hanging from her fingers.
She had an aura about her, one familiar to Eren. One that wrapped itself around every throat and forced the people around her to pay her heed.
"You're right, Annie. Coach would bench us if we happened to sully them and he can't afford to bench his star players." Hitch agrees, though her eyes are not on her apparent teammate. Instead, they seemed to be inspecting Armin and Mikasa's faces, clearly amused by their starstruck expressions.
"Kasa, do something..." Armin whispers.
"What do you want me to do, hex her?"
"Mikasa, long time no see." Annie continues. It seems that the two know each other, perhaps they are old friends? What a heartwarming reunion. "How's it feel living in your cousins shadow?"
Or, perhaps not.
Mikasa's eyes darken and she begins to fumble in her bag for a pair of scissors, "I quite like the shadows, it gives me a place to properly plan your downfall. Maybe even your murder."
Hitch gasps and feigns a frightened expression, "Oh shiver me timbers, small emos are so scary."
"I'll show you scary cunt-"
"Hey hey hey! What's going on here?" Connie unexpectedly appears from behind the trio, his arms making their way around their shoulders. "You guys will be late if you keep loitering around."
"You could never be Bokuto." One of the girls murmur.
"Oh, Connie, I'm so glad you're here. Bend down a little will you? I feel like I have something stuck in my teeth." Hitch jests as she rubs a finger across her pearly whites.
"Aha, funny." Connie grits, "Hey, how's Marlowe by the way? I imagine he's better since he left you for, who was it again?" He asks with a false pensive look.
"Her mom." Armin declares with a proud grin.
The girl clenches her jaw and scowls, "Fuck you, Connie. Isn't yours chilling upside down on a roof?"
"Wrong AU, hitch."
"At least my hair doesn't make me look like I call corporate." Connie retorts.
"Yeah, well at least-"
"Hitch, we don't have time for this." Annie interrupts, holding her wrist out and allowing her teammate to glance at her watch... is that a Rolex? "We still need to warmup."
Eren doesn't think he has ever seen Connie's eyes darken as much as they did then, shooting daggers at the blonde on par with the ones Mikasa fires at her cousin. "You finally decide to talk, Annie?" He calls the girl out.
Without even sparing him a glance, she states a monotone, "I have nothing to say to you." And walks away from the group in pursuit for the entrance.
Following her departure, Hitch scowls at the fact that she too should follow. "Whatever, I'll save my energy for your little friends on the field. You better watch your captain, it'd be a shame if she forgets her place and mysteriously finds herself on her knees where she belongs."
"Don't dish out what you can't take." Connie asserts.
The girl simply rolls her eyes, "Let's go." She says and takes her leave, taking her army of followers along with her.
"Saweetie did it better!" Armin yells after her, to which Mikasa agrees and waves her hand daintily at the group.
"Man, you are having the worst of luck today, aren't you, Eren?" Connie says with a guffaw.
Eren groans and holds his head in his hands. "Trust me, I know."
"I'm surprised you held your own, Connie. Considering that was literally Annie... and she's with Stohess." Mikasa says.
The boy sighs, "Yeah, I know. Fortunately, Reiner found out yesterday, so we weren't as blind sided. Though, we still haven't told the team, and that's been a topic of discourse amongst a couple of our friends." He answers, and the pained expression on his face almost forces Eren to feel sorry for him.
Almost.
Shaking his head lightly to disperse his frown, he instead returns his attention towards the brunet once again. "Anyway, don't worry about Hitch. She's always like that. It's petty school rivalry shit that we used to have with Marley till they shut that school down. Now Stohess thinks they need to step up and claim the spot as our rivals." He explains, though Eren laughs at the ridiculousness of his joke.
They're in high school, clearly it wouldn't actually be that serious, right?
Why is Eren the only one laughing?
"No literally, look." Connie says and juts a finger towards the busses they had spotted earlier. Eren hadn't spotted it before, but right under the school name seemed to be the words, 'Trost Academy rivals! Fuck Marley and Fuck Trost!'
"Oh..." Eren utters breathily, "We're too old for this shit."
"Anyway, we should really get going or else we won't find good seats." Armin ushers his friends with his hands.
"Oh!" Connie exclaims with a newfound grin, one that Eren thinks fits him better than his previous frown. "Don't worry about your seats, you can come chill with us. We've already saved some for you guys."
Armin gasps dramatically and his eyes nearly bulge out of his skull. "Y-you mean, your VIP section? We get to sit in VIP?!" He screeches. Even Mikasa seems taken aback, her jaw slack and her brows hiding behind her bangs, though she didn't dare voice it.
"Yup! Though I had no idea it was called that, Sasha is gonna freak when I tell her!" The teen buzzes with anticipation. "I'll lead the way, come on."
As they begin to follow him, Eren leans into Armin's ear to ask, "Why are they called the VIP seats?"
Armin sputters, "Why else, Eren? They're the best seats in the stadium. The plastics are the only ones to ever use the space, but today we're making history."
"We haven't even told you about the rest of their clique." Mikasa adds.
"The rest? There're more than the eight we've talked about?"
"Oh Eren... there are levels to this shit, okay? Not to mention, lore." Armin says whilst his fingers wiggle before Eren's face to build suspense.
"For instance, remember Annie from earlier? The blondie with blue eyes and a tongue as sharp as a dagger?" Mikasa asks.
"Yeah?"
"Well, she might not act like it, but she's a retired plastic."
"What? You mean she attended Trost at one point? Also, you can retire? Why would she retire?"
"She didn't just attend Trost, she was a founding member of the plastics. A true OG. She helped run our halls. In fact, I'd go as far to say that she was once closer to Y/N than Jean has ever been." Armin said.
"Then, what would make her willingly give that up?"
"Something so simple and obvious, yet achingly torturous that you wouldn't help but sympathize with her. Especially someone like you, wearing your heart on your sleeve like that." Mikasa lightly jabs at her friend.
"Just tell me, 'kasa. I'm not as soft hearted as you think I am." Eren grumbles.
"Unrequited love."
Eren's breath catches in his throat at her words, for he couldn't believe what she was implying. "W-what? You're telling me..."
"Yup," Armin decides to finish his sentence, "We're not sure which way it went or how exactly it went down, but...
One of those girls loved the other far deeper than just mere friendship."
Taglist: @idreamitski @str4wberrylover @jesus-son-of-god @hoejosblindfold @caycaysblogg @simpingmyassoff @youatemylollipop @enouche @longestline [comment to be added, dm to be removed!]
A/N: im sorry this took so long, its shorter than the last but twice as long as my first draft 😟
#coveholdenmyluv#anime#fanfic#attack on titan#aot#eren jaeger#eren yeager#mikasa ackerman#armin arlert#eren yeager x reader#eren jeager x reader#eren x reader#eren aot#high school au#aot high school au#reiner braun#annie leonhart#connie springer#jean kirstein#Historia reiss#ymir aot#attack on titan fanfiction#aot fanfiction#levi aot#levi ackerman#captain levi#mean girls au#mean girls#mean girls spinoff#mean girls eren jaeger
135 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ohk so, I'm halfway through tdp s7 ep2, and I have some t h o u g h t s. Like, okay, firstly I do understand where raylla is coming form in wanting to reunite her family and have runaan be free and where Callum says to Ezran that yeah, he should forgive Runaan like he forgave Zubeia. Like, I get all of that, I want Runaan to be free too I love the guy. But like, I think it's kind of unfair to Ezran that he's being expected to forgive Runaan kinda immediately. Like, not even considering the mental state he's in rn with the destruction of Katolis and all. Ezran has shown a shit tom of maturity and kindness and forgiveness and grace through out the series but I kinda feel like Raylla and Callum are putting this very unfair expectation upon Ezran to just forgive Runaan. I see that Callum wants to give Ezran that time to process, but like, that's gonna take longer than a few days or a week, Ezran is a child faced with the assassin that killed the father he loved and whose death made him have to carry the very heavy and stressful burden of the crown. And I get Raylla not wanting to wait in reuniting Runaan and Ethari (it's been two entire years), and Callum wanting to help her and empathizing w her. But like, I kinda think that they need to empathize with Ezran more and just, see how complicated it is for him to just forgive and how it's not this simple, straightforward thing for him to do. I wish Ezran were allowed to be angry and be free with his emotions for a second because he's very much human and not a saint. Besides, ik that Ezran wasn't really too open for discussion but I do condemn Callum calling him 'a jerkface' (I understand what Callum was going through but there are other ways to go Abt this) rather than Raylla and him approaching Ezran with more empathy, as friends and family, and discuss what other options (because there are other options) are there then expecting Ezran to just, immediately forgive and let Runaan be free atm. I rly don't think it should have gone like, Ezran's side (Runaan bad, murderer in prison) vs. Runaan good, should be immediately forgiven and set free. I understand why it turned out like this cuz of how all the characters are (I love all of them, thsi season is feeding me rn), I just empathize a lot with the unfair expectation places on Ezran and kinda want to see that be recognized.
#dont take this for runnan or raylla or callum hate okay?#i love those guys SO MUCH#and i get there view point but i have alot of empathy for Ezran too and wanted to talk abt his position in this#tdp s7 spoilers#tdp s7#the dragon prince#tdp callum#tdp ezran#tdp raylla#tdp ethari#tdp runaan#ruthari#rayllum
71 notes
·
View notes
Text
im. so ill. where does one even begin with?? like
// WL FINALE SPOILERS‼️ (finale yap 💔)
ok. firstly: shiny duo (+ cleo :3) things. (totally not bc im so insane abt them. 100% hahahdvav fucking explodes)
WE DIDNT GET MURDER CAMEL. NOOOO WE WERE SO CLOSE TO THEM HAVING AN ALLIANCE. + CLEO (live laugh luv cleo) WE COULD'VE HAD A NEW KIND OF 3 G'S (w/o this blue haired FREAK /aff i need scott to explode) GASLIGHT, GIRLSLAY (or girlmurder. idk man they both fit methinks), AND GIRLBOSS. (ignore this im posting at 2am. very energetic and also eepy)
THEY ARGDHQ GEM CALLED PEARL PATHETIC AND CUTE AND STILL TRYING TO 1V1 HER. PEARL TELLING GEM THAT HER SNAIL IS LITERALLY NEXT TO THEM EVEN THO SHE WAS TRYING TO KILL GEM. ALSO. WHEN GEM SAW THE G'S AT HER BASE SHE LITERALLY SPECIFICALLY CALLS PEARL. GIRL THEIR WHOLE ALLIANCE IS THERE AND YET THE ONLY PERSON THAT YOU TRULY NOTICE IS PEARL. OK GEM. 😔🤨 NOT THEM CALLING EACH OTHER'S FULL USER. UAGH. THEY MAKE ME SICK.
cough she def misses being w pearl. cough (it goes both ways for them. they miss eachother sm trust) she wants that cookie so bad its actually sososososos insanely painful to watch. i should get a degree in studying whatever the fuck theyve got goin awn. the fact its unresolved is an added thing in there.
moving on bfore i get shiny duo severe stage 10 brainrot. secondly: JOEL WIN. ACTUALLY CRAZY. (<- hes crazy. like genuinely.)
i didnt think that he was gonna win tbh. since yk lizzie is his weakness and lizzie wouldve used that to kill him. honestly if grian hadnt killed lizzie she wouldve probably killed him i think. and lizzies advice to joel to not get scott is so sweet actually <3 imagine trying to kill your husband but at the same time your lowk also looking out for him. she noticed the pattern of him always losing when getting scott wjjwbfm jizzie is os.. precious uaghhqphqvsb
ALSO ‼️ HE AND GRIAN MAKE SUCH A GOOD DUO. I THINK THEYVE TEAMED UP BEFORE ON LIKE LAST LIFE?? I THINK. I WAS ALWAYS WATCHING PEARLS POV. ianfbwnbsl life series brainworms r working overtime on this. too bad im on the verge of eeping.
AND thirdly: the wildcard. er wildcards.
the wildcards returning for the finale is great dont get me wrong. its jst. i guess at the end where all of the wildcards are activated its jst. so much?? like everything happening is too much at the same time yk? i think thats mostly the problem. bc. everyone has to deal with all these deadly wildcards adding up gradually causing some of the players their last life. which i think makes it more.. unsatisfactory? kind of? since the finale for others werent going out in pvp or traps and allat but the wildcards.
all of them happening at the same time is a bit overwhelming?? or maybe its jst me but theres too much going on every moment and such. its jst hard to actually focus/try to kill ppl? we have the slow to speedy thingy happening, the mobs dying and changing, which causes a lot of lag and deaths (gem to a vex is an example of this) cus theres a bunch of mobs to look out for, the trivia bot coming down sometimes at the worst possible moment (a snail chasing u n all), theres also the superpower card its kinda not been properly or well used during all this, and snails since they did end some series and caused a bunch of deaths in their past of being the main wildcard.
and: shiny duo again bc i cant not end this talking abt the wildcard(s) and i love them (sadly true)
them both keeping the bit where gem complimented her red skin. gem saying that she loves pearls red outfit sm. pearl trying to douse gem when her alliance tried to kill her and burn her w lava while they were talking. jsksnwnwbqle ims o sick.
lastly: lizzie having cleos superpower. i am having THOUGHTS abt this.
LIZZIE HAD CLEOS SUPERPOWER. ODLWNWNFNBWKFLD didya guys know that i was more of a shadowrot fan when i started watching last life? now you know !!
kqnebwbf fn also. the shadowrot is being revived w this series. no more thoughts abt shadowrot bfore i get forced into a psych ward.
honorary mention: cleo reaction to pearl getting killed by grian (ignoring the heartache bc i love skyblings sm. uaghhh).
when pearl got killed by grian, cleo ran straight for him. she ignored joel who was stabbing her in the back (literal). she tried so hard to blast grian off that cliff. i dont think she was trying to protect ren, who was getting chased by grian. she didnt yell at him, she was jst quiet and absolutely pissed that pearl died. i mean who wouldnt tbf. pearl was the only remaining teammate of the main 4 g's afterall. ohhhhshdbwb my moonrot heart has been revived.
the life series gals should team up next season i mean WHAT WHO SAID THAT.
#wild life spoilers#wild life smp#gempearl#shiny duo#shadowrot#moonrot#<3#i love love love them can u tell#:3c#im so unbelievably eepy#im gonna eep now
55 notes
·
View notes
Text
Rigor Mortis (part 8)
College roommate!Miguel O'Hara x reader
(AO3 Mirror) (Wattpad) Series Masterlist, Main Masterlist,
Part 7, Part 9
summary: You visit your ex. Miguel tags along.
warnings: mentions and description of depression. heavy angst, depictions of a toxic relationship. some suggestive language.
a/n: me when idk shit abt the american school system:
Thank you to my beta readers, @tianyhi and @urgonnaneedabiggership (they also write Miguel fics, I highly recommend! my favourite is this series), I couldn't have done it without you guys <3
Join my taglists here
wc: 5.8k
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
you had forgotten; they were good.
Blank walls. Quiet corridors. The buzz of monitors and dull chatter sandwiched between blue vinyl and exit signs. You're not usually one to wander during your breaks; but you're going crazy looking at the same four walls.
That hair net itches and the strap of a blue mask digs into skin as you make your way to a little courtyard. You sit out on a paltry bench overlooking concrete. The spindly remnants of a tree provides little cover from harsh elements. Wind whips through its branches, whistling and cool, as you rip off the mask and crumple it up in your pocket. A heavy sigh, and you feel some semblance of peace. Some quiet, before the morning comes. Before a rush of orders and shunting plastic trays up and down the wards.
You screw your eyes shut to still the pounding at your temples. God. You're grateful for the job, really. And all things considered, it's not particularly taxing: coffee orders until the little cafe closes, meal prep for the morning rush, and sometimes you'd volunteer to take orders to bed bound patients. A whole lot of reheating and chopping and pressing buttons on the little machines. You don't quite get it, of course, but your lone coworker picks up the slack well enough.
The older woman doesn't do much for company, anyways. Riveting conversation comes in the form of grunts and sharp elbows when you get in the way or round the corner of the kitchen. It has you counting down the seconds until your shift ends.
And so you are grateful, well and truly. Jamie's not so sappy, anymore; doesn't partake in 'I love you's or grand gestures; but he is dependable. Safe. Willing to stick his neck out for you, at least. He'd gotten you a job at the hospital he has his placement at; with decent pay, and it slots in well with your other ones. He's taking you seriously – taking the news better than your parents. After telling him you wanted to go back to school, you're not met with thinly veiled disbelief, or lips pressed together with pity. He'd nodded, rather simply. Didn't make a fuss. No deep sighs, or heavy frowns. Okay , he had said. How can I help?
It was the simplicity of his reaction that had bowled you over, almost bringing you to tears. To have someone believe in you, for once – wholeheartedly and without an onslaught of questions – felt like a deep breath of air after almost drowning. It felt like love ; and after desperate breaths, gasping and gulping and clawing at something to hold on to, you think you've found dry land. Something solid, something stable; a rough palm to pull you out of swirling depths. Because, unlike your family, and unlike half-hearted friends: Jamie was there.
After heading back in to catch the morning rush, you're wiping down surfaces and sorting plastic trays onto a cart. Rote, repetitive, boring; you've settled into a routine that feels familiar. A couple more months, you reckon, and you'll be able to cover the costs for a second go at undergrad. You can shed the skin that seems to follow you at every family gathering, and the job interviews in between. Dropout – and when your Mom says it, it feels like a vile curse. Jamie calls it spiteful, and you opt for the democratic alternative; she's being dramatic - rather than cruel, rather than hurtful, rather than crass. You've heard enough, from all sorts: ‘too much pressure’, and ‘didn't think she had it in her, anyways’, are common phrases whispered in the background of phone calls home.
Your chest aches with the weight of it – the kind of ache that seeps into skin, and lines a casket. Grief; mourning a person you could've been, and a person you never would be. For a while, it left you paralysed by the what ifs and the maybes; rotting in a quiet corner. Sinking into sofa cushions or caked onto the bed sheets like the mystery mould bloomed onto the plates in your room. But Jamie was there, more than anyone else.
You'll wait for him in the corridor near the back of the service elevator, like you always do after a shift. You finish when he starts, early in the morning and rubbing away sleep from his eyes for ward rounds. You'll give him a kiss, and he'll give you a soft little smile to send you on your way. It almost makes the whole thing worth it. Almost.
You give and you give and you give. Your boyfriend isn't quite the same; doesn't pour into you the way you'd like him to. But it works. It works because it has to; a thousand miles away from anything resembling home. You can't ask for more – the right words die in your throat.
~~~
You've spent the past couple of hours in the library. Procrastinating for at least half of it, but you've managed to draft out a couple of essays and more or less reorganise your life. It's something you've been dreading for the past week or so; letting yourself get swept up in the monsoon that is your roommate. Miguel – sarcastic, saccharine-sweet Miguel – and his stupidly pretty lips, his pretty hands, and the pretty way he scrunches up his face like he's smelt something rotten.
You're staring at a computer with a slew of books spread out on the adjacent desk. Your half-finished report seems to jumble together on the screen; a tangle of citations and filler words and shitty diagrams. It's not quite clicking , and it's making you want to tear out chunks of your hair in search of relief. A tale as old as time, one you can merely wallow in and fold yourself between its pages. Struggling at school; and this time it's a stats module you thought would be an easy couple of credits, that you definitely can’t afford to fail if you want to graduate early.
You’ve picked a quiet spot on the third floor; a computer bay tucked into the corner. It overlooks a little window, cramped and claustrophobic and mystery mould in the corners of its grout. You've resorted to scanning the cracks with sharp eyes, light fingers on your neck to trace the leftovers of the morning. You can see it in the slightly mirrored surface of cloudy glass; you look like shit, you feel like shit, but you can still feel him. Lips on your neck, sucking soft hickies into the skin; and you can't help but like the way it looks on you. It's the same under your jeans, blooming like mauve and purple heather on a sprawling field.
You cross your legs, wincing at the dull ache that spreads. Sore, in that way that feels good; sending flashes of a morning with Miguel. Fingers knuckle deep in your cunt and the heat of him – cut and lean-lined – on top of you; it's impossible to ignore. Condensation drips from the panes, pooling in its corner and you swipe a finger in it, lazily. Again, you're reminded of him, for the thousandth time in the past hour: shaking legs, fisting his cock, spraying fat globs of his cum onto your face and chest.
With another glimpse of your reflection, you sigh. Deep and heavy, with the weight of half a decade of frustration, sexual or otherwise. You've never felt this good or had your needs satiated so wholly, so exorbitantly. It feels odd. You don't know where to put your hands, how to place your feet on the floor. Do you shout, do you scream? How do you tell all the poor bystanders that scatter the third floor: I'm sleeping with Miguel O'Hara! A walking red flag with cheekbones that could cut glass! He wants me, and I want–
Your phone rings. The noise catches you off guard, and has you stumbling to press accept.
"Hey," Miguel's voice sounds tinny in the speakers, and so you press it to your ears.
"Y-Yeah?" You steel yourself, batting away daydreams of your legs wrapped around his middle – too horny for your own good, clearly.
"I'm outside, chula. " He stops talking. The quiet ticking of an indicator becomes the only sign of life, before he says, "In that parking bay by the–"
"I know, I know. Give me 5 minutes." You rush to pack up, clicking off the monitor and haphazardly shoving your notes into your bag. Not everything fits, and you give up trying to cram that textbook in.
A beat passes before you realise he's still on the phone. Quiet, but still there.
"…I brought food, by the way."
You only just manage to catch it, slotting the phone between your ear and shoulder. That makes you perk up.
" Seriously? " You give him a small laugh. You think you can hear him smile through the phone. "Thank fucking God, I'm starving. But you weren't rushing, or anything, right? I mean, it's so soon after your session with… Sally, or–"
You're bounding down two steps at a time, so eager to see him – to get food , actually – that you're careless going down the stairs.
"Sarah . " He breathes, and you make your way downstairs.
It stops you in your tracks, for some reason.
"Okay. Sarah ." You say it with finality, voice tight. "What did you end up doing anyways? At her place, you said?"
"Pressure differentials. Modelling viscosity. It's not very interesting." He hums, shifting in his seat. "What about you? Did you get something done?"
You take a beat too long to respond, and it comes out half-baked.
"Loads, Mig."
He snorts. " Sure. "
" Fuck you. " You say it under your breath, ducking past the entrance, and into a side road.
And there Miguel is, car heaped onto part of the sidewalk. He's leaning back, lazy arm sticking out the car window, showing off muscle and pretty tan skin. It's getting cold, but he's cracked the car door ajar; donned in a well-fitting t-shirt and slack trousers.
You're trying not to drool; and he makes it a little easier by flashing a shit-eating grin.
Childishly, you stick your tongue out; wrenching the door open and slumping into the passenger side. You tuck your things by your feet, and it lands on the floor with a thump.
"You can put your stuff in the back.. . " Miguel frowns.
" Can't. We need the space, remember?"
To pick up the rest of your things left in your ex's apartment. You hope he can parse out the rest of that from a raised eyebrow.
He sighs, tossing a brown bag of takeout onto your lap. He starts the car. "...I didn't think we were still doing that, to be honest."
He seems disappointed, eyes flitting this way and that as he reverses and pulls out. You must've hit your head at some point, because you're in heat – pressing sore legs together at the way he does it. One arm on the back of your headrest, sharp jaw jutting out as he looks back, and bottom lip hooked under his teeth; he's just concentrating, trying not to hit one of the cat-sized rodents that roam the streets this late at night, and he's still hot .
"You promised ."
"I had my face between your thighs. Would've said anything if it meant I could have more."
You draw your lips in faux disgust – your heart's not in it, but it's enough to make him chuckle.
"Fuck you."
He doesn't miss a beat, deadpanning, "...you'd like that."
Lips pursed, you ignore the way it twists your stomach into knots. Steadfast, you stare out at the window, watching the yellow lights of a bustling city pass you by.
Miguel takes a different turning, one that'll take you across the city and away from your place. To Jamie's, most likely. You soften, taking a moment to look across at him.
His eyes flit over, intense and almost a deep red in the neon and lights. It's barely a couple of seconds, but he knows, just like that.
"Are you nervous?" He tests the waters, voice steady and non-committal. It's not an accusation; even though everything feels like one, lately. Not from him, though. Never from him.
" No ." Your tone is betraying, and you both know it. He seems to pretend not to hear that tremor in your voice.
"You'll be okay, sweetheart." He says it soft and low, not quite looking at you.
"It's just… it's the first time I'm going to see him after–" Your voice crackles. "After everything."
"You'll be okay," He starts. It doesn't feel like an empty platitude when he says it: it feels genuine and full-bodied and sonorous, clanging around your head like the chime of church bells. "Probably not right away – it's going to hit you like a semi, first. And you'll feel like shit afterwards. But it won't last. You'll move on, and you'll be okay; because you have to be."
He drifts off somewhere far away when he says that last bit; and you're not too sure what he's talking about anymore. Regardless, you wrap his words around you, holding it to your chest like a little songbird in the cradle of a tree.
You'll be okay. You have to be.
It feels less solid when it's not Miguel saying it, you think. You don't tell him that, though, sinking into the seat instead.
He doesn't let that silence sit for too long. Traffic creates a natural lull, and he reaches over to tap at the book in your lap – one of many different textbooks, the rest of which is lodged in your bag.
"You're taking a stats module, I assume."
You nod.
"With Dr. Karev?"
You sit up slightly. "...yeah, actually."
He hums. "You thought it would be an easy A, then."
He's right, but it doesn't make it sting any less. You were hoping for simple math and data processing, and here you were: drowning in matrices and linear algorithms.
"I thought it would be."
"Let me help you, then. I took one of his classes and he barely changes the syllabus. I could dig up my old notes, and–"
"You want to tutor me ?" You splutter – but you don't mean to sound as shocked as you do. " Why? "
"Why not?" He shrugs.
"I… I don't have any money, or anything."
"M'not offering because I want money." He's nonchalant, inching towards the car up front.
You squint. It's not adding up. "What's the catch?"
"No catch, I swear. Is it so hard to believe I'm being nice?"
Now, you feel guilty. "Sorry, Mig. I appreciate it, I really do–"
"Sit on my face and we'll call it even."
He turns to you now, face flat but with a twinkle in his eye. The corners of his mouth are slightly upturned - amused. He thinks this is funny?
You give him a light shove as the traffic starts to break up. He's riled you up, now, and you're much too annoyed to be nervous.
"Eyes on the road, asshole."
It's more bark than bite, and you settle into the seat, finally cracking open the paper bag. You munch on fries and it makes him laugh. Miguel swears he can see it: the hint of a gentle smile on your face.
~~~
He pulls up to the apartment complex. Modest, close to the hospital; and you probably couldn't have afforded to live there without your ex. Jamie was lucky; his parents could foot the bill of moving out, and he had family that lived in the city.
It feels odd to be on the outside looking in. The building's windows become snapshots into other people's lives. For some, it meant an early night, blinds drawn and lights off. From the parking lot, you can see the dim yellow of lights streaming through other apartments. Silhouettes flit past every now and then; the only sign of life.
Jamie's apartment is on the top floor, the two windows on the far right. You crane your head out of the car window, to get a better look. The lights are on, with one window left slightly ajar.
Miguel moves to get out, with shuffling that breaks the silence. You stop him with a hand on his arm.
"No, no. I'm going up by myself."
He cocks his head to the side, ever so slightly.
"...you sure? If you need help shifting boxes, I can–"
"I'm good, Mig. I just needed the car."
It comes out snappier than you meant it to, already irritable. With that, you pop the door open with a thunk . You can't see it, but he frowns, watching you swish and sway towards the entrance.
You trace familiar steps to Jamie's apartment. The door code hasn't changed, and so you buzz yourself in. This is something you can do quickly and efficiently, you've decided. In and out, and you don't have the energy for much else. Bracing at the door, you get ready to knock, hand curled into a fist.
The door swings open before you get the chance. He's there; still in light blue scrubs and a name badge pinned to his chest. It's the first thing you see, trying not to look at his face. But it's like pulling teeth, you decide: less painful when it's quick and sharp.
" Where's my –"
" Your stuff's in the –"
In a great clash of words, you finally look up at him. Where you're expecting some form of emotion – a flash of something, even for just a moment – Jamie is steadfast. Blank; blinking back sleep, if anything. You clamp down what feels like bile rising in your throat and push past him into the front room.
"Is this how it's going to be?"
Head down, you grit a quiet, "Don't . "
It's just as you left it, to the point it's almost comical. The same pillows you'd bury yourself in after work, the patterned tea towel you'd bought on a whim. The bar stools in lieu of a proper dining table, and that great big desk he had insisted on carting to the living room for years . Bits and pieces of you, of your relationship, and he barely bats an eye. He'll use your mugs and sleep on your patterned sheets.
It makes you sick .
You head to the second room. There's a stack of boxes, hastily stashed in the corner. There's still permanent marker on them from when you first moved in. Now, it houses the things you couldn't take with you the first time – everything you left behind.
Sick, sick, sick .
You take a moment to dig through the top box, that's clearly been moved. Knick-knacks, books, clothes and all the clutter you've acquired; and it reminds you of family, it reminds you of friends.
Jamie leans by the doorway, looking on in silence.
When you pick up a box, straining to lift it, he doesn't offer to help. He watches as you flounder, dragging it towards the door.
You're huffing when he finally says something; something that's clearly been on his mind for a while, with the way he says it.
"Are you seeing someone?" He's looking out of the window, gaze fixed on the car parked outside. Miguel's car.
Your eyes widen. You don't quite trust yourself to speak.
You leave the box by the door. "Are you?“
He shrugs. "Don't have the time."
It's noncommittal and frustratingly blasé. He's not giving you much, and it's fucking with your head. This whole thing feels like a big joke – he wants to talk, and all he's doing is asking bullshit questions. Once upon a time, you would've stewed in it; sat with that question on your tongue and let it rot.
"I don't understand." You croak. It hurts to say out loud, but you say it. That's the important part. "I don't know why you're doing this… why are you still doing this?"
"I don't like how we left things." He says it slow, like he's choosing his words carefully.
You want to scream.
" So? "
" So , I need some kind of closure. We've got unfinished business."
" Unfinished business? " You roll it around on your tongue, reeling at its bitter taste. It feels clinical and lifeless, yet again.
And then… oh. It clicks. Looking at him, arms folded and leaning on a wall, he looks antsy and uncomfortable. Now, when forced to face you.
" Closure. " Another word that tastes like shit. You give a watery laugh. "You feel guilty."
He doesn't say anything but his body language says enough. He shifts his weight side to side, unable to make eye contact.
You don't bother to stick around for an answer, snatching up the box as best you can. Through the doors, and down the corridor. You stagger down the flight of stairs, gritting your teeth. It's heavy – you've packed as much as you can inside, trying to get this over quickly – and you make it to the first floor before it clatters onto the steps.
You fold ; knees drawn to your chest and hands tight in your hair. Heart racing, chest pumping: you're trying not to get swept away by heavy emotions. The tide rises. You pump your legs around the swirling mass - barely staying afloat in deep, deep water.
You'll be okay.
You remember Miguel's words, gentle and sweet and kind. You remember the way he said it; firmly, like it's the most obvious thing in the world. The kind of grace that you don't have to work for and doesn't need a performance. He believes in you, at least; thinks you're stronger than you have any right to be. And you think of him in the car: eager to help and reassure. You brushed him off. You were mean.
Deep breath.
Miguel's waiting for you, just outside those doors. Diligent and patient, saccharine-sweet Miguel. Getting up, you make your way down the stairs with that box.
When he spots you, a pretty little thing in a hoodie and jeans, he leaps out of the car.
"Hey, hey, easy… "
"I'm good, Mig – "
You're struggling with the box, and he eases it out of your hands without breaking a sweat. One hand on the boot of the car, the other holding up the heavy box effortlessly, and he gives you a quick once over.
"...he didn't offer to help?" His face is scrunched up - disgusted by the looks of it - and all you can manage is a limp shrug.
It doesn't take him long to figure it out. You're dejected; nervous, down-trodden, blue in every meaning of the word; losing a little bit of that shine you had started the day with. If he had to guess, and he knows you well enough he'd bet money on it, it was that ex of yours – stealing away that light in a burlap sack, a thief in the brilliance of bright sun.
It makes him grind his teeth, eyes flicking up at the fourth floor window.
"I could help." He offers, a hand on your shoulder. It's your favourite hoodie, he thinks, as he circles the soft fabric with his thumb.
You purse your lips, thinking it over.
"It'll be quicker, chula. "
That pushes you over the edge, and you finally nod.
It must be a sight, knocking at the door with Miguel hot on your heels. After living with him for so long, you've forgotten how intimidating he can be when you first meet him; taller than Jamie, and mean-mugging the blonde with a deadly look. If you weren't so on edge it would make you laugh: you know your roommate is mostly harmless.
Jamie doesn't, of course. He visibly bristles, looking you both up and down.
"I just need some help with the boxes. This is my roommate, Miguel."
You turn to the man beside you.
" Miguel ," You say it softer. "This is Jamie."
Wordlessly, he stretches out a palm,
rough and broad and tan. Hesitant, the man in front of you takes it.
"Hey, man." Jamie flashes you a strange look when he says it.
Miguel doesn't answer.
You lead him to the second room, divvying up the boxes as Jamie hovers at the doorway. It's surprisingly efficient: Miguel insists on taking the heaviest boxes, hauling them up onto his shoulders, before stacking them up at the door. You'll take the smaller stuff, and it seems everything will be done in far fewer trips than before. It's hard to say out loud, but you're grateful for his help – Miguel was right , for once.
After the first trip, he's bounding back up the stairs for more. You've both made it into a game, with neither one of you having to explain the rules. He pinches your arm whilst you sift through boxes, and you stick your tongue out in response. Elbow deep in crap, and he manages to make it feel a little better.
Jamie stews. Jamie festers. In a corner of what used to be your shared apartment, he pretends to tap at his phone, uninterested. You know him too well for that facade to stick.
Miguel takes the last of the boxes down, and you're straggling behind, picking up the last few bits and pieces. You're left alone with your ex, for a brief moment.
"You're fucking him." He says it quiet, in a whisper that sounds oh-so loud in that little room. Fucking. He spits it out, and makes the word feel cheap and dirty.
You look up from across the room. Slowly, he traverses its width, gaze pinning you down like a bug under a microscope.
He brings a hand to your chin, cupping the flesh tenderly. It's intimate and familiar, reminding you of better days. Something bubbles up in your stomach, sweet and innocent. That feeling doesn't last long.
"You're fucking him."
It's accusatory, spat out with a rueful smile pulling at his lips. His fingers brush over your throat and you squirm, pulling up the mouth of your hoodie.
Those hickies, blossoming like flowers in the spring. They crackle across your skin like fallen leaves in autumn.
"It's none of your fucking business."
"Of course you are. I can't believe you." He rolls his eyes, half-laughing. "I was going to apologise! I was planning to say sorry for the way I handled things and you had to rub it in my face."
" What ?" You croak.
"You brought the guy you're fucking to our apartment!" He explodes.
His lips flatten into a tight line.
" ...now it's our apartment? You kicked me out. You dumped me ."
"Don't…. fuck , don't do that. Don't make me the bad guy, here. I gave you plenty of time to find a new place."
"Two. Weeks." You grit. "You gave me two weeks, asshole. You left me alone, and told me to fend for myself whilst you fucked off to your sister's."
That fire dies down as he hesitates. "I… I would've let you stay longer. You know that, baby."
" No. No I don't know, 'cuz you don't tell me shit , anymore." You blink back hot tears. "I don't make as much money as you do, and my family can't support me like yours can."
"I would've–"
"You didn't. " You swallow roughly. "You didn't. I don't even know what I did wrong ."
"No, no." He cradles your face with his hands, swiping at stray tears. "You didn't do anything wrong."
Now, you look up at him. With glistening eyes, and a heavily furrowed brown, it barely comes out as a whisper; red-raw and strained.
"Then why don't you love me?"
He doesn't deny it. There isn't a scramble to reassure you; to pat your head and kiss away tears to show you how much he cares. Instead, he steps away guiltily.
"I care about you, of course I do. Remember when you changed your major?"
You nod.
"I was there, wasn't I? I stayed up for hours talking you through it. And when you dropped out, I came over on the weekends and brought you groceries."
"I was there. I helped you through that funk , and helped you get that job for school. Every stupid little question, every depressive episode, all those moments where no-one else would help: I did. Even though I had other things going on in my life, I showed up. For you. It was enough, for a while."
Until it wasn't. He sighs.
"I'm starting my residency next year… and you're still in school, right?”
“Yes, I am.” You say it simply, not able to say much more without breaking down.
“I'm happy for you, really - proud that you actually got that far. But we're going in different directions, and at different paces. It's easier now that we're not together.”
You bristle at his tone: still in school, actually got that far . It oozes pomp and a quiet kind of superiority. Easier now, like it was difficult before.
“I didn't make that decision because I hate you, or because I don't care about you. I know you're angry.” He places his hands on your shoulders, and doesn't break eye contact. For the first time since you got here, you think he's finally showing emotion; quiet melancholy just below the surface. Up this close, you can see it: deepening bags under his eyes, sallow skin, and fine lines. Jaime looks tired. In fact, he seems exhausted .
“I'm sorry that I made you feel that way. But that doesn't excuse the fact that you brought your fuck buddy here, when I just wanted to talk.”
It feels cruel. The way he looks at you, and the way his demeanour switches from the Jamie you knew before, to this .
"I wanted to talk." You strain. " Months ago. After you broke up with me, and disappeared off the face of the planet. Every time I called, crying and panicking, it went straight to voicemail."
You shake his hands off of you, stepping back.
"Miguel's a friend… did you ever think of that? Maybe I just needed some help moving my things, Jamie. Maybe I don't have that many friends since they stopped talking to me because of you, Jamie. Maybe, there's not some devious plot to spite you."
You pick up the rest of your stuff, a little basket of trinkets and books. The very same books that he had told you to pack up; to make some space for his textbooks.
"Get your head out of your ass. Don't call me. Don't text me. I'm done. "
You're already halfway out of the door. With that, you start to storm off; clattering into Miguel by the stairs. When your things spill out of your hands, you both drop to your knees in a scramble to pick them up. You're chewing the inside of your cheek so hard it draws blood, fumbling around. Miguel is more efficient, scooping up your belongings back into its box.
You're drooping, only able to mutter a quiet thanks. On the way to his car, you're dejected. Miguel watches carefully, trailing behind.
~~~
He doesn't know what to say.
You've left him speechless before. Many times, in the span of your couple months together. Miguel recalls it in exasperated messages to Lyla; you're something else entirely. Frustrating, sometimes. Quick-witted. Perceptive. Thoughtful. A million and one words to describe you, and yet, it still doesn't paint the full picture. You are multi-faceted and brilliant in a way he's not sure he completely understands.
[Sent: 22:33]
Can't explain it, Ly.
[Sent: 22:33]
I'm going fucking crazy.
[Received: 22:34]
ur being dramatic :p
[Received: 22:34]
think u just need to get laid
[Sent: 22:34]
Fuck off.
[Sent: 22:35]
I said I'm taking a break. Meant it.
[Received: 22:37]
(image attached)
[Received: 22:37]
got this at the party
[Received: 22:37]
ur staring, mig
[Sent: 22:38]
…
[Received: 22:38]
that's my dress! told u I have great taste :))
[Received: 23:06]
miggyyy
[Received: 23:06]
stop ignoring me! its not fun anymore >:(
That was a while ago. Before anything serious happened between you both. And he's had the privilege of seeing you in many different ways; stressed, angry, beaming with joy. Bouncing off the walls after too much coffee, or crawling out of bed following a late night. He's seen your lips curve to form a delicious O as you writhe underneath him; he's seen you smile. He'd tattoo it onto his skin, if he could.
Fuck . He's overthinking it.
You've retired to your spot on the couch, and yes, he's staring. Tracing the slope of your jaw and the tilt of nose outlined by the glow of the TV. After getting back home late, he brushed off limp protests and took most of the boxes up himself. It sits in a pile by the dining table. You'll deal with it tomorrow, he supposes.
Retreating behind your ratty blanket, you stare blankly at the screen. Glassy eyes, you've curled up to watch reruns late into the night. Can't sleep, you told him, as he hovered by the doorway.
He should go to bed. It's nothing to do with him, really, and he shouldn't have overheard as much as he did. Miguel is curious but not nosy, and well-versed on the art of minding your business . So he shouldn't feel his heart splintering; creaking like the trunk of a felled tree; hacked into two by the way he sees you drowning.
He sits by your side. Not too close, of course, he's wary of all the shit you've been through today; not wanting to make you feel more uncomfortable.
He's reminded of a childhood holiday. Half a summer spent at a campsite, bounding through woodland and creeks somewhere up north. Gabi and him would disappear, forgoing the beaten paths for their own adventure. Miguel couldn't make friends the way his brother could, so he'd straggle behind; watching from afar as the other kids would climb trees or swim in quiet lakes. Reading by the banks, and he remembers a time someone had slipped under the water. Drowning, and it wasn't anything like the movies. It was quick, silent and deadly. Thrashing under choppy water, and then…
…nothing. Just quiet.
He feels that panic rising now, watching you stay so eerily still. You've slipped under the waves, and he doesn't know what to say to pull you back out.
Miguel isn't too good with words. He's not known for his warmth, or comforting presence. Sometimes, he thinks he wasn't built with that switch turned on in his head – and he certainly didn't learn the right words from his parents. And so, he gives you comfort the only way he knows how. He shows you. He takes care of you.
You come to him. Like two parts of a whole, you slot together perfectly: your head on his shoulder, at first. You end up on his chest, curled up like a housecat; matching shaky breaths to his steady ones. He brings a hand to your shoulder, drawing lazy circles in the fabric to soothe you.
With the dull chatter and gloom of the TV, you fall asleep. It takes Miguel a little longer, but he wraps his arms around you. He listens out for it: the gentle rise and fall of your chest. Steady, like a metronome, and it grounds him – drowning out the creak of gears.
_
_
_
Rigor Mortis Taglist: @bunnyrose01 @lavenderslemonade @tsukkie-daisuke @malxoxo @thekidscallmebosss @vvitcxen @theyoutubedork @doublevirgogirl @jnghs @taleiak @noblesavagex @cumikering @rebeccawinters @evanpetersrightbigtoe @saucypeanuttt @pix-stuff @maliarenee @truthuntolddd @honeycovered-bandaids @aiyaaayei @aeeliy @amplsblog @sikrettt @opuffmango @spear-bitch @maddielikesmoths @lemonpepsi @sweet-strawberryhoney @lacedinweb22 @bubbsby @jing5uan @ellaandorersoct @hibarbiesblog @valentxi @kittym1ka
@delulu-dia @melovetitties @yohoe-hoe @acollectionofcells1 @froggi-mushroom @thund3rthighs @bonthebunnie @natthernandez @strawberrymiguel @twwcs @mammonispunk @um-well @renn-pumkin-head @ietherealkistar @smallishbook @sonderspider @spear-bitch @cryingintheclubdhmu @mageneire @notdyl4n @slezhara @funkyfoxx0 @smol-beb @iceclaw101 @lixhizy @errorundyne-exe @707xn @beantokki@twentysomethingwereyote
#miguel o'hara x reader#across the spiderverse#rigor mortis 😼#miguel o'hara#miguel o hara x reader#kat_writes😼#spiderman 2099#spiderman 2099 x reader#miguel o'hara angst#angst#emotional hurt/comfort#hurt/comfort
700 notes
·
View notes
Note
hi! me again, i know it hasn’t been that long but i just rewatched one of my favorite anime’s, Komi can’t communicate, it’s about a girl named Shoko Komi who has extreme social anxiety or also known as social-phobia and has trouble speaking to others and making friends as well, i’m serious, anytime the girl tries to speak, she gets nervous and overwhelmed and just starts stuttering a LOT!
So! i was wondering if you could do lil something with the rottmnt boys and a reader who acts like that? you don’t have to! and don’t worry, i’m almost finished with the lil gecko’s design!
i also recommend watching the anime, it’s really good and funny!
have a nice day/night! ❤️
❝ dulcet vibes. ❞
— ‧₊˚ 🎐✩ 𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐱 𝐤𝐨𝐦𝐢 𝐞𝐬𝐤!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
❝l a/n !! : bro how many coincidences will we encounter ? I LITERALLY ADORE THAT ANIME SO SO MUCHHH AAAAA !!!! i binged the entire series over the course of time and finished it during the summertime last year ! such a wonderful anime. the slice of life feel to it, the equal parts humor and heartfelt, and not to mention the characters are all absolutely adorable and lovable !! especially komi. bro she's such a sweet cinnamon roll i just :(( my baby gorla :((( entire show is just *chef's kiss*
also darling this is like. YEARS late i hope u don't think i forgot abt you ?!!!! thank you soso much for your patience + i really hope you like this waaa !! also, psst. this is probably one of my favorite layouts~ the colors came together soso pretty !! ^^
ᝰ genre !! : fluff, a bit of crack, slice of life, platonic :)
ᝰ precautions !! : none, I don't think 🫡 if I am wrong however, pls pls let me know!! *smek* love y'all. hope you enjoy~
i imagine the gentleness is which they all unanimously develop when interacting with you, developed on day one of meeting you.
they're all quite protective over you !! that much goes without saying, of course.
it started out with you becoming a close friend of april's :'))
seeing as she was the first to understand that you weren't some unreachable individual w/ some uppity "holier-than-thou" complex,
but rather, a kid. just like the rest of them. :')
she recognizes her peoplez. 😤✊🏾 probably finds a kindred spirit in you for feeling a bit like an outcast.
whereas you garner attention for your stoic, quiet demeanor and mysterious beauty, that's usually all people see you as.
some don't even see you as much of a fellow person at all. based on your aura alone — you've been described as an equal mix of cold, stuck up, unreachable, boring or flat out rude . . . as well as absolutely stunning, dark, debonair, sleek, attractive, godlike even.
whatever the case, you garnered the attention of all kinds wherever you went, whether you liked it or not.
they just ain't know you, babes. 😞
and april is all too familiar with being simultaneously judged (solely based on appearances) and ignored or pushed aside because you're different.
and homegirl don't run that way 🫡. she a real one.
i imagine she took/takes on the role of being your tadano at first !!
she was chosen as your guide to show ya around the school and upon seeing y'all's chemistry build instantly throughout said tour, you both were paired up for a project in your shared classes! ^^
at first she was a little off-put by your silence and sharp gaze, and even more so at the loud attention you were given the instant you were introduced into the classroom, but a little time is all it took :)
it quickly became apparent that that simply wasn't the case.
you had pulled out your phone, showed her a message typed out in a cinnamoroll-themed digital notepad,
" thank you for your help :')) i'm sorry i don't talk a lot! i'm just shy. thank you for being so kind to me. 💛🙏 "
yeeeaaah she knew you were a good egg.
and the rest is history!
LEO gives me madddd najimi vibes, i'm gonna be so fr. so let's imagine that dynamic here !! as soon as y'all met, there was probably a little miscommunications at first :'] ofc april had told the guys beforehand that she was bringing you over, and he was positively stoked at finally being able to meet this "new friend" his best gal had been talking so fondly about !! and yes, she had given them all the rundown (but him especially. he was sweat-dropping at all the enunciations in her spiel being directed so openly at him. he ain't even met you yet 😔 why is everyone bullying him he is not that bad please he just wants a new friend this isn't fair ple- #justiceforleofr ✊🏾) but with leo, there's always something happening. (/aff /lh)
y'all know ts that najimi stayed pulling in the show? giving komi these complicated orders to go collect on her own in efforts to help her overcome her social anxiety? THIS HAS LEO WRITTEN ALL OVER ITTTTTTT. he'd definitely verbally note down the most diabolical pizza order and only gives enough time to make sure you even heard it before he's shoving the phone in your hands.
now if you start shaking and hesitate, he'll wait until like the very last second before he's chuckling and looking at you with gentle eyes. he takes the phone back into his hands, confirms the order, then pats your head. he's proud of you for trying!!
(he promptly dissolves into good-natured laughter when you start cuffing at his arm, face as red as a tomato.)
tbh thinks you're a cutie pie and tho he teases you, it's all in good nature !! let someone else try to come at you for your shyness. big "only I'm allowed to tease them" energy from this blueberry.
you know leo as your charming and obnoxious but fun-loving best friend who always smiles and jokes around you. but he can be brutal when he's upset. it's like a complete 360 when he's coming to your defense; his gaze turns hard and all traces of his bubbly self. GONE.
fiercely protective over you. whenever you're with him (or any of them really) he's your protector. and you can count on him to celebrate like it's the 4th of July whenever you manage to overcome your verbal barriers.
RAPH. our red angel of preventing harm. the backbone of our society. he is such a mother hen when it comes to you awww :(( when y'all first met & you responded to his amicable greeting by beginning to tremble and stare up at him with wide, shiny eyes, not a word of reply, he thought it was most obvious that you were scared of him. of them. ☹️
it made his heart ache but it was a familiar hurt. this may be New York, but this whole situation isn't the exact norm. (well, not yet anyway!)
then april went and pushed you forward-- closer to him, enthusiastically encouraging you to "go on, say hi!!" like some excited mom with her shy kid 😭😭. it was a few moments of tense silence, you could literally see the ". . ." in the background. then finally, in a hushed but determined whisper, you respond in kind.
yeah. he's hooked.
you bring a sense of stability and tranquility; a welcome pace to the constant chaos of his everyday normal. he's so used to all things loud and rambunctious and completely fizzy pop frenzied on a great day, that when your sweet little molasses self shows up and becomes a regular part of their everyday lives, he finds a haven that he didn't even know he wanted. much more needed.
raphie carries you in his arms to make a quick getaway? you force urge him silently to rest his head on your lap/tummy when y'all chill in peace.
he's effectively babying you? you take it with a stoic grace and appease his ruffled mother hen feathers with gentle sympathy pats to his arms when he finally relaxes.
he especially loves when you both go on little best friend dates !!
you have a tranquil, 'insider' type outlook on life so when you share your vision with them, he can't help but feel honored. being who you are in the modern world has left you with devices that conspire of the affinity to finding very cool hideaway spots!! & the more time you guys spend with each other, the closer you get. it develops into a very wholesome and loving friendship :(( ICONS, THE BOTH OF YOUSE. 🫶🏾
he loves you sm bcuz he feels like he can truly be himself - you're not the type to judge. he feels completely at ease with you and goes the extra mile to put you at ease too!!
—and you can bet he's allllways keeping leo in line as well 😭☠ like, bro can barely breathe. he can, has, and will tackle leo in mid-air because he went to tackle you in a running hug. 😪
blue bro means well when he plays around with you, but raph can only take so much before he gets tense 🥹 he just wants you to be comfortable!! :(( like, always.
he's like your teddy bear. a safety blanket. teddy blanket?? mm ^^ he's got it all for you. would bend over backwards at so much as a slight breath from you. completely whipped and unashamed of it.
DONNIE understands you on a spiritual level. he's your twin flame. your soul brother. bro's your down b, bro's your solider, he's got that thang-thang— *loud 16-wheeler horn passes by*
no but let's lock in. donbon becomes your saving grace, whether you like it or not (but i mean c'mon, who wouldn't like it? :] bro is him.) out of all the siblings, donnie understands your apprehension to socializing the best. it's not that you don't want to interact with others, it's just . . . hard. and scary. he gets that too.
donnie himself is sociable in the way that he's not afraid to interact with others nor is he scared to; he's just an introvert and if the feeling doesn't strike him, he won't. simple as that. 😆
but you're a bit of a different story. it's not that you don't want to, it's just significantly difficult for you </3. and donnie is nothing if not persistent and a fix-it felix in his own right, so! 👏 what does he do?? what he does best, of course!! he builds. he invents. he creates.
he would absolutely create different gadgets and such to try and make things easier for you. they can range from tiny things — automatic digital/magnetized notepads, tiny flying robots that have neurotransmitters embedded within so it speaks for you in the moments your voice croaks, to literal AI robots that do close to everything for you.
once he had gotten caught up in the excitement and pure influx of creative juices + had drawn up a prototype for a replicate robot of you — purely intended on doing the things that you couldn't in a way of helping out!! — and barely survived the crossfire that he was immediately subjected to by his siblings. he snapped out of it and locked tf in after that and, after a lengthy lecture from raph, he allowed leo to rip the blueprints to shreds & mikey to burn it. yes, he might've gotten carried away in his inventions, but it's all from a place of care!!!
he buys you snacks and gifts you a cute handmade keychain the next time you come over after that. you're confused but delighted. he sticks just a little closer that day, and you allow it.
i feel he'd see himself in you. as a result, he'd want to provide you with more things and protect you a lot!!! he ain't afraid to speak up on your behalf either. trust me, he's given such poetic lip to some stuck up assholes in the social world that it rendered you genuinely speechless. but they stay as inside jokes between y'all and best believe it makes the others so jealous 🤣😭.
also not afraid to tell his own brothers off if they're crowding you a little too much (*coughleocoughcough*) — he's a lot less lenient than raphie tho 😅
he cares. a lot. maybe. he's got a soft spot for you, what can I say?
when everything and anything starts to become too much for you, he's usually pretty good at recognizing it and offers you a place of solitude in his lab! it's cool and quiet (well. quiet-er than the wipeout episode that is his daily life outside those very walls.) and generally gives a very chill vibe.
he also loves the fact that you listen to his ranting and rambling without interrupting, not even once. sometimes he thinks it's because you can't, but when he pauses and goes to inquire as much, he's met with your warmed and focused gaze, a slight quirk to your lips as you nod along and. the message is there. i'm listening.
you're lowk his bestie and he can't really live without you from now on, he thinks. it's like the grumpy cat x golden retriever trope, but you're more of a cat too. two moons coexisting! two cats drenched in purple moonlight.
y'all just get each other i made myself sad. /lh + /hj
MIKEY aims to make you feel as comfortable and welcomed as possible !! at all times, all day, everyday. he even set up a cute little personal nook for you in the lair!! (he's such a sweetie pie y'all i'm 💔)
he was the most excited to meet you!!!! (you're his friend now. y'all are having soft tacos later!)
well, all of them were, but he was (and is) the most amicable and the most emotionally adept at understanding you and your shyness. apart of the "Save Y/N from Leo & His Shenanigans" pt 2. (i love the blueberry y'all i prommy bullying him is my love language). ofc he's just a bubbly glass of fizzy orange juice when y'all come face to face; he's all smiles and going "hi!! I'm Mikey!! what's your name??" even if april alr told them 🤦🏾♀️ HE'S JUST EXCITED OKAY???
hesitates for just shy of a second when you begin shaking, but then, you pull out your phone and shove the cute sanrio-themed greeting note in his snout and, the second it registers, he's beaming brighter than the sun and immediately welcomes you in, both physically and emotionally.
he makes you feel seen and heard, even when you try to chameleon your way through situations, as you've done countless times before. even when you assume your "better to be seen, not heard" posture, as you've done countless times before.
mikey being the most emotionally available of his family certainly comes with its perks!! he helps them navigate their individual friendships with you as well, and even tho there are a few hiccups along the way, you all develop a strong and lovely bond— & a large part in that is owed to mikey and his empathetic prowess.
particularly loves baking for/with you!!! it's always worth it to see your eyes light up, and he really does think you have a cute face. it's been described in a more debonair light by others, but to him, you're the sweetest little baozi and he just wants!!! to wrap you up in a blanket burrito and!!! keep you in his metaphorical pockets forever!!!!!!
he has definitely dedicated murals and different art pieces to you. sometimes you'll be minding your own business, just chilling together, and feel him staring at you. but before you can get self-conscious he always speaks up and sheepishly rubs the back of his head while pointing to the sketchbook in his lap. now, you're used to feeling his warm yet concentrated gaze on you, but your face still hasn't changed in the lobster red it becomes when he shows you the finished product :')) what can he say?? you're a one of a kind muse.
gives you cute nicknames. pinches your cheeks (if you're aiight with that.) soso affectionate with you, the fact that he loves you is unshakable and unquestionable.
#zeepie beep : fandom! ⭒๋࣭ ⭑🖋˚𔓘。#fandom's humble offerings!! ✉⋆ ˚。#"૮₍ •⤙•˶|✉️ beep! inbox! ˎˊ˗#rottmnt x reader#rottmnt x reader headcanons#rottmnt raph#rottmnt leo#rottmnt donnie#rottmnt mikey#rottmnt headcanons#rise of the tmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#save rise of the tmnt#save rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#tmnt x reader#x reader#x platonic!reader#platonic rottmnt x reader#komi can't communicate#i just started rewatching it & it's just as cute as it was the first time#i can not WAIT until summer#the vibes are gonna be off the chiz-artssss 📈💯🔥⭐💌☀️🌻😍
147 notes
·
View notes