#a lot of it has to do with me being embarassing and saying stupid shit and immediately regretting getting out of bed | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bonefall · 1 year ago

Note

I’m not sure if you talked about it, but what do you think about A Thief in Thunderclan? I actually liked it, though it definitely had a few ehhh moments

Eh, honestly? Im kinda disappointed that James Barry had to go out on such a low note. I did not like it, it felt like a waste of time.

It wasn't like... offensively bad but I have very little good to say about it. It was fine. If you want to see more ThunderClan you can check it out?

(A lot of Thief in ThunderClan critique below the cut, I didn't like it much)

First of all, the mystery was just bad. I'm sorry. An owl? Swooping in at night for dead animals and leaving perfect scores in the dirt? It felt like a real "running out of ideas" type plot.

Brightheart was NOT fun to follow. She was uncomfortable for most of the story and secondhand embarassment is an emotion I really don't enjoy. Even moments that were supposed to be thought-provoking (like the Brambleclaw name confrontation) just felt like cringe because they were written so poorly.

Like, seriously? "Firestar why did you name Bramble after his father who disfigured me?" "Oh its because i uhhhh wanted to remind ppl of it so they would stop being reminded of it eventually" WHAT? That was a brainless enough choice when it was FIRST made, you can't fucking tell me any cat with a brain cell would go "wao... really makes you think... hngsociety"

I disliked the fact they decided to give Brightheart serious suspicion towards people like Longtail and Brambleclaw, I strongly disagree she would be like that. She feels so much to me like someone who would feel awful for doubting people she logically knows are innocent, and express to Cloudtail that it makes her feel like a bad person, but she CANT help it. She is such a kind, loving, and self doubting sort of cat... or, was, I guess? Or maybe it was never there at all and I'm the fool.

On that note? Her character arc was a mess. As much as I hate Shadow in RiverClan, I can say that Feathertail's arc was a competent *story*. Brightheart is having nightmares, suspects Bramble and Long of treason, is trying to figure out this mystery, trying to help train Rainpaw, the fact she resents not being his mentor is mentioned and dropped, she is pregnant... so much shit is going on and it feels absolutely unfocused.

And even worse, because it's overlapping with the beginning of Firestar's Quest, we end up having to Show Off The Continuity instead of telling a cohesive story. Oop Willowpelt died and Rainpaw is kind of sad about it! But wait we have to say bye to Firestar, make sure to squeeze in the Brambleclaw name confrontation before he goes! GO BACK Longtail has been blinded!! ALSO THE OWL! HERES WHY THE OWL WASNT MENTIONED IN FQ!!

And DUDE if there's anything that's a SERIOUS problem, it's Brightheart's stupid ass cutesy "look who's being USEFUL in here!" When blinded Longtail is helping out in the medcat den

First of all fuck you for the wording of that line! Second of all, GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD that disabled people shouldn't have to find a way to be "useful" to belong to their society.

The fact we're getting a book from Bright's perspective as a disabled person and the whole thing is chock full of "useful" language as she struggles with PTSD makes the fact this is COMMON in WC sting so much more.

Anyway back to just, normal critique and not frustration with ableism in wc.

I feel like they really wasted Brightheart's family. I enjoyed finally getting Cinder and Bright hanging out as sisters, but we got a MENTION of Frostfur, and barely anything with her brothers. It's already a mess so why not go the whole way?

Ashfur also has his post-TBC personality retcon which absolutely kills me. Why do we need this shitty "foreshadowing"? Why do we need him to have been so obviously controlling and argumentative? Why are these writers fucking allergic to having a villain that people thought was nice and normal once?

NITPICK: if i have to see another cat gently picked up by a large bird of prey without at LEAST getting a cracked rib I will shapeshift into 10,000 crows and fly away forever

I have some good feelings towards it though, and I have to be clear, this is actually Ambivalent Bones. I'm only mad at the "Usefulness" rhetoric, the rest is just my normal amount of whinging lmao.

I do really like Cinderpelt and Brightheart finally getting some interactions. It's long overdo lmao

I like Cloudtail and Brightheart as a ship so it's nice to see them hang out.

Uhhh this is a bit of a backhanded compliment but I liked how she was upset at not getting one of Whitestorm's children to mentor? I don't like how it bodes for the wider narrative though, because we know this ends in her getting shafted FOR YEARS and unable to get an apprentice. But I liked the plot setup of her having resentment for Cloudtail because of this. I thought that would make a really good plot point for putting a wedge between them to work through. Like, stop being cowards, LEAN INTO Firestar making some very serious, insulting, short-sighted mistakes, and it interfering with Brightheart's ability to heal. Kill your darling.

There were some nice lines. I do remember Ashfur's lame "greedyclaw" insult, which was funny.

I enjoyed the cute moments between the cats in ThunderClan. Ferncloud chasing after her kids, Brightheart convincing people to help her investigate, the Willowkin being upset about their mom. It's a mess but there's some nice stuff in that mess, y'know?

Overall, my memory hasn't been kind to it. I think I was giving it a 6/10 when I first saw it, but it's dropped down to a low 5/10. Not (very) offensive but too messy and pointless to revisit.

#bone babble #Also funfact in bb im turning cinders weird purple snail into a special leech #Little gave it to her because there is literally no stronger display of autistic affection than gifting your best friend a favored creature

74 notes · View notes

mattsdae · 2 years ago

Text

help wanted

tags: joe young x masc reader , curruption , phone sex , mutual masturbation ig , reader is a perv , probably ooc , but also probably not bc i studied up on everyone elses fics , humiliation , lots of degradation BUT it’s just guys being guys lol , some praise , brief mention of pillow humping , homophobic language , so many ellipsis i think my period button is broken , he also stutters a lot which is usually cringe when overdone but he’s also a pathetic mess who can’t finish his sentences

synopsis: joe often finds himself confused on set and asks you for help. in a time of need, you’re the only person he can think of to call.

word count: ~2k

a/n: part 2 and 3 are out now! check it out pt. 2 here! pt. 3 here!

just a quick warning: i am very underqualified for this fic (considering i never watched orgazmo) BUT i do have an intense corruption kink that makes me want to ruin joe young. also, reader has a dick. there isn’t nearly enough gay shit in this fandom, so i’m taking it upon myself. it’s also can’t imagine any trey parker character being straight.

—

“you got morning wood and thought to call me?” it was 6 in the morning, a time you haven’t woken up at since elementary school. you didn’t answer at first, but decided to after he left a voicemail consisting of ‘i need your help’ and ‘call back please’. now, you were pissed off because instead of being injured or in need of actually important advice, he needed someone to ask about boners.

“i don’t know what to do..” joe mumbled, his voice dripping with shame. you shrugged, leaning up in your bed as he waited for an answer.

“just jack off or something; you’ll be fine.” you weren’t sure why he called you of all people. you weren’t exactly close with him. he would come up to you and ask questions about the script, usually too nervous to ask female co-stars, but the conversation never lasted more than a few seconds. they always went the same.

what does head mean?

a blowjob.

what’s that?

when a girl sucks your dick.

oh lord-

followed by him walking away briskly. once he asked what squirting was, but you never answered because you were too busy laughing. he always had this shaky, scared tone when he asked, which only made his cluelessness funnier. for a while, you thought it was a bit. from his incompetence during sex to his talks about ‘our lord and savior’, it was all too perfect.

“is that..” he trailed off. that was one of the first terms he asked you, which started your facination. it’s not like you were into him, you weren’t a fag, but it was a little cute. the questions annoyed the hell out of you, but you loved the look on his face when he would connect the dots and realize what he accidentally said. the innocent, almost shameful look on his face quickly melting to shock and pure embarassment hearing such dirty words leave your mouth (and so casually).

“guess.” after he asked enough questions to annoy you, you started asking him to guess what it meant, which completely changed the game. it was amazing. he’d blush, stuttering over his words as he tried to explain what he thought it might mean without saying anything too sinful. it wasn’t annoying to you anymore. you almost looked forward to when he’d ask his stupid little questions.

“oh, um.. is it when you.. touch yourself?” he whispered the last part.

“precisely,” you chuckle over the line. he cleared his throat, some static covering it as he adjusted himself as well. you leaned back fully, head resting on your pillow as you waited for him to end the call and run off.

“h-how..?” he stuttered. for a moment, you felt a little confused. you never met someone who didn’t jack off every so often. after the initial confusion wore off, you started to wish you could see him.

“you’ve never masturbated?” a grin spread on your face as he let out a shaky breath. he didn’t respond, most likely shaking his head in refusal. “what? you want me to talk you through it?”

it wasn’t a serious offer, just a little more teasing, but you heard something over the phone that resembled a moan. he was ashamed, sure, but he couldn’t deny himself forever. that was only confirmed as you heard a ‘mhm’ sound, barely loud enough to hear.

“what was that?” it was a little mean, making him repeat himself even though he was so clearly humiliated by this whole interaction, but you couldn’t help yourself. “gotta say it a little louder, i can’t hear you.”

“please.” maybe you were a fag because the pathetic whimper he let out turned you on. a lot. he still said it just above a whisper, but it worked.

“you really want this? i’m sure you could figure it out, you’re a big boy.” another jab at him, which only made him huff. you desperately wanted to see him, but it would probably kill you. the idea of his red cheeks, trembling fingers, not to mention his hard cock.

“i need..” a desperate whine and some more shuffling sounded off, which only made you more excited. “please?”

“tell me what you’re doing. i hear a lot of movement over there.” your hand made their way to your crotch, rubbing over your sweatpants without second thought. “you humping your pillow or something?”

another whimper. you chuckled, crackling over the line.

“you would be the type. think about what those girls do during our shoots. the way they touch you..” he huffed again, more shuffling. “go ahead and get comfortable.”

“o-okay.” the phone made a knocking noise as he put it down, making quick work of removing his pants. “what next?”

“good job,” you laughed. “how about this. i’ll tell you what i’m doing and you mimick me.”

“like simon says?”

“exactly.” you sighed, gripping yourself a little harder. “go ahead and feel yourself. don’t go under your boxers, just touch yourself over it.”

“okay,” he mumbled. you bit your lip as a moan played over the phone.

“move your hand up and down, squeeze a little bit too. do it nice and slow for me, alright?” his moans became muffled, his hand physically holding them back. even with the barrier, you could clearly hear his whimpers as he touched himself through the material. “you sure you’ve never done this before? it sounds like you know yourself really well.”

“n-no, never.” the words barely made past his lips as he let out another moan.

“tell me how it feels. make sure it’s detailed,” you asked. another small whimper.

“c-can’t..”

“come on, you can do it,” a grin on your face spread as you said it. you couldn’t get enough of him. “just tell me if it feels good.”

“it feels really good.” he sighed, making you grip yourself harder. each noise he made went straight to your groin. “i-i feel like this is a sin…”

you nearly moaned out loud at the statement. his voice was still shaky and nervous, but you didn’t think he’d ever be able to be normal during sex. he’d always be a trembling, embarassed mess in front of whoever decided to sleep with him.

“it’s not a sin, man. i’m just helping you out, ya know?” you’re voice was breathy, rubbing your thumb over your clothed tip. another whimper from over the phone.

“are you sure?”

“i’ve never been more sure of anything.” maybe it was wrong to lie, especially since he was clearly devoted to his religion, but once again, you couldn’t help yourself. his little huffs and whines did more for you than any girl ever has. “you like it, right? how could it be a sin if you enjoy it so much?”

“o-oh, okay,” he responded. you bit your lip, stifling a whimper as you let yourself go. his blindly trusting behavior nearly sent you over the edge.

“go ahead and take your boxers off for me,” you pulled your cock out at the same time he did, hearing a small gasp on the other side of the phone. you chuckled. “you gotta wait until i tell you, baby.”

“sorry.” the pet name seemingly went over his head as he apologized, whimpering from the loss of contact. you chuckle.

“good boy,” you drawled. “should i make you wait a little longer for not listening?”

“no, no, no! please,” he begged. you let out a deep laugh, one that came from your chest. it was almost endearing how horny he was. you knew he never had sex and now you knew he also never touched himself, so finally having a hand around his dick must feel amazing. you still enjoyed teasing him for it.

“fuck, you really want this, huh?” he hummed in agreement. “go ahead, man. you earned it.”

you take hold of your cock as he does. he let’s out a string of moans and sobs as he thrusts into his own hand. you touched yourself with long, languid tugs. you almost basked in noises coming from his mouth. filthy cries escaping as he committed sin after sin, squirming in the pleasure. it was a pathetic display that you couldn’t get enough of. his noises got louder and shorter, a staccato to each whimper exposing how close he was.

“slow down a little, i wanna cum at the same time. you think you can hold off for a little longer, baby?” he was so far gone, he couldn’t even comprehend your digs. any other time, he’d be beet red and trying to escape, but now he soaked in every little comment. he nods nonetheless, whining as he slowed nearly to a stop.

“where are you going?” he asked. his voice dripped with pure sex, but his question was so innocent. at first, you didn’t get it. just before you asked what he meant, it clicked. he didn’t know what cum meant. he thought you meant you were going somewhere. you laughed, covering your mouth to muffle it, but he could still hear it. “why are you laughing?”

“that’s that what i meant, sweetheart!” an exaggerated sweet comment that only made him more confused. you wished you could see his sweet little face, trying to read what you meant by your words but failing miserably. “do you remember what orgasm means?”

the strangled whimper confirmed everything you needed to know. first of all, he did understand what orgasm meant, but he also made it known that he liked you talking this way, just as much as you did. a subtle ‘yes’ came in, quiet enough that you almost had to genuinely ask him to speak up.

“i’m guessing you don’t know what it feels like though, right?” you smirked, knowing the answer was no.

“well..” you stopping moving your hand, pausing in confusion. “i had a dream once..”

“you had a wet dream?!” you grinned. he hummed, agreeing but still shy about saying it. “you’re fucking amazing, dude. wow!”

“i dunno what that means.” he must’ve stopped touching himself as well, considering how even his tone was now (at least as even as he could possibly get it).

“so you came in your pants? from a dream?” he didn’t reply, which only confirmed your suspicion. “what was it about?”

“w-what?” you grabbed yourself again.

“tell me about your dream. you remember it right?” you slid your thumb over your tip, collecting some of your precum for lube. after a while without a response, only whimpers playing over the line. “come on, at least tell me who it was about.”

“umm..” he still didn’t give a proper answer.

“was it a girl you filmed with?”

“no.”

“your ex?”

“n-no..”

“dave?!”

“no no!” you thought for a while, trying to figure out who else it could have been.

“don’t tell me it was maxxx-“

“it was you!” he blurts it out. the line crackled as the words lingered in the air. you were shellshocked by the confession. “i-i thought about you showing me what all those weird words meant. like, doing it to me..”

your jaw dropped, staring at the ceiling as you listened to his little fantasy, a fantasy you also dreamed about every so often. the silence was long enough for him to say your name, trying to catch your attention.

“what was i doing?” you finally asked. he whimpered.

“don’t make me say it…”

“i’m just curious! do you think you can touch yourself while telling me?” it was perverted and down right gross what you were making him do, but you couldn’t stop yourself. with quick tugs, you listen to his story. he moaned as he grabbed himself again.

“ah.. i went up to you and- and asked what something meant.. i-it was all gibberish and-“ you accidentally cut him off with a moan, now thrusting into your hand. “you.. you showed me. you touched me and kissed me. it felt really good..”

“you’re so dirty, joe.” you pant. he whimpers and starts going faster, just like you are, which only made his story more interesting to listen to. “keep going, i’m close.”

“you got on your knees-“ a pulse of heat ran down your body, another moan coming from your chest. “and you.. kissed it..”

“you dreamt about me giving you head?” you laughed, an airy laugh that were laced with moans. he whimpers again.

“you- you made me beg..” the noises that came from you were pornographic. your cock coating in precum as he told you about his perverted little dream.

“tell me how you begged.” you huffed. he sobs, obviously close to orgasm himself. nonetheless, he obliges.

“i said.. i said please a lot. you were rubbing my thigh and i thought i was gonna cry.”

just like that, you came. a girly moan escaped your lips as ropes of cum covered your chest and stomach. your hips jumped, thrusting into your fist and fucking your own hand. by the time you calmed down, he also came, letting out slobbery ‘thank you’s as he came on himself as well.

“good boy, such a good boy. you feel better now?”

“yes! yes!” he sobbed, still getting over his orgasm. he panted, pathetic little cries threatening to make you hard again. you smiled.

“you did so good for me, huh? my filthy boy..” you trailed off as his noises subsided. it was quiet for a while, the only sound coming from his side of the call being little gasps and pants.

“was that.. gay?” joe whispered. it was. it was really fucking gay. it was probably the most gay thing you’ve ever done, but you decided to spare his feelings.

“nah, man. just friends helping out friends.”

#ahhhh #i’m honestly thinking ab making this a series bc i love him sm #joe young x reader #trey parker x reader

99 notes · View notes

zarkishere · 6 months ago

Text

Meet... Ruben Connor!

My dumb dumb stupid idiot I hate <3

(i do wanna say a lot of the things he does is based on how I play RDR, so yeah HAJKSGHKJASG)

(yapping time. this is your fault.)

HE'S SO SO DUMB I LOVE HIM I'M SO SERIOUS. GOD. HE MAKES ME SO MAD. idk if I'll ever tell the full story, buuut I'll tell a bit rn :)

He was born in Brazil to a Brazilian mother and a Mexican father, but when he was young his dad got sick and wanted to see Mexico one last time so they went all the way there...and mf died like a week after and then wtf like what are they gonna do that's crazy

ANYWAY, SCARS AND RANDOM FACTS!!

ion wanna explain where he got these, but I WILL say the arm one was kinda because of Dutch....yikers

he loves animals. Like. God. Keep him AWAY, or he WILL try to get close to the cute baby (cougar)

is into embroidery!!

he overthinks a lot and sometimes just starts eating to distract himself, so Grimshaw taught him how to do embroidery so he had somth to do with his hands other than Cut Up Random Shit or Eat

comes home soaked in blood so often he has to buy new white shirts every few days (it's a real problem, he spends so much money, god help him)

has forgotten most of his Brazilian, and it actually makes him very upset

Next, relationship charts! (THIS IS A VERY SELF-INDULGENT OC LEAVE ME ALONE)

what he thinks of others

notes!

Ruben sees Arthur, John and Tilly as siblings!

Has called Arthur and Charles dad more than once while drunk (don't mention it he gets really embarassed)

generally /pos with everyone :)

you see, Ruben is very much a yes man and is sometimes wayy too easy to trust, so for him to think negatively of you, you gotta be some fucked up bastard 😭😭

Likes referring to people by nicknames based on animals. Like, Javier is coyote, Kieran is patito (YES IM STEALING FROM MYSELF), John is Lobito (he fucking hates it), etc.

calls Dutch dad when he needs something, calls Hosea dad when he's genuinely upset

in general, Hosea is the favorite parent (to no-one's surprise)

...what? what about Javier? Oh, uhh...it's complicated. (aka, they're two men in 1899. They're never giving what they have a label they're just Something) (they are really gay tho like damn get a room)

actually really disliked Javier at first! (internalized homophobia + being forced to go with him since "they're both Mexicans") (yeah Dutch said that, and while Javier brushed it off Ruben Did Not Forget) (he got over it eventually tho)

what others think of him

notes!

most people think he's too reckless, tbh.

he is tho ngl LMOA--he'll run in with only a knife if he's all out of bullets, will accidentally throw the dynamite at his feet and panic or other bullshit like he's a bit of a bloodthirsty idiot

Micah doesn't absolutely hate him cuz he finds enjoyment in seeing the fool do fucked up shit

Charles often gives him That Look when he's doing something wrong, and he'll immediately know to stop

alright idk what else to say HJKASGHJKASGJKASG I could yap on FOREVERRRR, but you don't care so it's okay

this is YOUR FAULT for telling me I should post about my rdr2 oc okay

anyway, thank you for telling me that, it's made me happy <3

#rdr2 #rdr2 oc #oc art #ruben connor rdr2 #character design #artists on tumblr

11 notes · View notes

paper--machete · 9 months ago

Note

idk if you did this before but ummm rank all qotsa albums including them crooked vultures

I'll do you one better! I'll include the desert sessions 11+12 cus imo it's too thoroughly produced to not include

10. lullabies to paralyze

no hate on lullabies but honestly the whole vibe of the record is just sooooo 2005. in my head has to be their worst song just because of how embarassing that chorus is and also there's just a lot of fluff, even the deep cuts on this album feel like throwaway tracks (which I would even say about my favorite songs on the album, tangled up in plaid and broken box). the whole album just feels like a radio-friendly attempt to prove they still had their edge after Nick was kicked out

favorite songs: tangled up in plaid, little sister, i never came, the blood is love, broken box

9. villains

villains gets too much hate. people always point to Mark Ronson for ruining the album but honestly I'm glad we live in the alternate timeline where qotsa made a pop album. the way you used to do is awesome (ESPECIALLY the live version), domesticated animals is awesome, un-reborn again is one of their best songs. hideaway has always sucked tho and I hate the ending of the evil has landed because it just sounds like they were trying to do 3s and 7s again for some reason (with the slide guitars and Josh going "way-ee-ay") but otherwise also one of their best songs. also I wanna mention that Jon Theodore is at his best on this album, you can really hear his background in prog shine through on certain songs

favorite songs: the way you used to do, domesticated animals, fortress, un-reborn again, the evil has landed

8. desert sessions 11+12

first and foremost noses in roses forever is one of the best songs jho has ever written. DS11/12 basically feels like josh decided he wanted to do his own Gorillaz style collaborative project thanks to the increased production values and honestly it just makes me want another desert sessions release just like it.... which contradicts the other thing I wanted to say which is that there's really no album that sounds like 11/12 out there. nowhere else will you hear a song like chic tweetz because any other album would’ve left it on the cutting room floor for being too stupid. i love it

also I wanna say that i think crucifire is for royal blood what ultralight beam was for chance the rapper lmao

favorite songs: noses in roses forever, chic tweetz, easier said than done

7. in times new roman

damn I'm surprised the recency bias isn't getting to me on this one lmao. ITNR has a lot of really good songs on it but put together into an album it really feels like they’re just treading old ground. (I was originally gonna write a review of it when it came out titled “new dog, old tricks”). despite this there’s a lot of great stuff, paper machete and emotion sickness are two of my fav qotsa songs and straight jacket fitting might be their best closer? idk. this would be higher if it didn’t just feel like a “more of the same” type album

favorite songs: paper machete, negative space, made to parade, emotion sickness

6. self-titled

this placement hurts so much because like a year and a half ago this wouldve been #2 😭 anyway i love the self titled so much because it sounds so different from the rest of their discography… you can hear alot of the leftover kyuss influence in the heavier songs and riff writing, plus what other album is gonna try some crazy shit like walkin on the sidewalks or hispanic impressions? (btw hispanic impressions is their most underrated song) also the expanded edition is better for having spiders and vinegaroons but worse for having droids

favorite songs: regular john, avon, how to handle a rope, hispanic impressions, you can’t quit me baby

5. songs for the deaf

i’ve always had beef with songs for the deaf…. i’ve always felt like the best songs on it are so good that they make the lesser songs seem worse in comparison. like another love song is great but when it’s sandwiched between god is in the radio and song for the deaf its like. well obviously this is one of the weaker songs on the album. anyway it’s still good, being the other nick-era qotsa album you can really hear the collaboration between the band’s all-star lineup across the whole thing

favorite songs: hanging tree, go with the flow, god is in the radio, song for the deaf, mosquito song

4. them crooked vultures

TCV is just a really, really solid album. the sequencing is great, the songs are all great, the musicians are all at their A game, ESPECIALLY josh as it’s not an unpopular opinion to say this album is where he really started tapping into his skills as a vocalist. while i consider TCV to be the honorary bonus qotsa album, i feel like it also manages to stand on its own thanks to the creative contributions of dave grohl and john paul jones.

favorite songs: mind eraser no chaser, dead end friends, bandoliers, warsaw, spinning in daffodils

3.5. over the years and through the woods

maybe I'm biased cus qotsa brainworms but the dvd of this is the best concert film/album I've ever heard. there's a perfect balance between songs being played as they are on the record and songs having things tweaked or even reworked entirely, which is something i’m picky about when it comes to concerts (i saw jack white two years ago and he changed waaaaay too many songs :P) also there’s a lot of neat little bonus things in the set, like an early version of make it wit chu, another desert sessions track (covered in punk’s blood) and of course the live performance of fun machine which is a top 3 song for them and always will be

favorite songs: feel good hit of the summer, avon, little sister, you can’t quit me baby, the fun machine took a shit and died

3. rated R

rated R is a perfect album! i think its greatest strength is its sequencing tbh, it succeeds at both giving the impression of it being a concept album (while not necessarily conforming to the concept) as well as having a super diverse tracklist where no two songs sound alike. also characteristic of nick-era qotsa, i love how rated R isn’t afraid to have short songs or long songs, though unlike on songs for the deaf the short/long songs here feel like they don’t sacrifice length for substance relative to other songs.

favorite songs: feel good hit of the summer, leg of lamb, auto pilot, better living through chemistry, i think i lost my headache

2. era vulgaris

there is no album that sounds like era vulgaris. why does misfit love sound like that? why does battery acid sound like that? WHY DOES I’M DESIGNER SOUND LIKE THAT??? it’s so fucking weird and rich with ideas, there isn’t a single moment on era vulgaris where the band isn’t trying something new. even my least favorite songs on here have something new and unique to offer while also being the most fucked up little beast creature thing youve ever heard.

favorite songs: turnin on the screw, i’m designer, into the hollow, 3’s and 7’s, run pig run

1. ...like clockwork

i’m an artsy kid, i like artsy albums, and i love like clockwork for how mature it is. every song feels like a statement, an emotion concentrated into a 4-minute masterpiece. while the lows on here are lower for me than on other albums, they still make important contributions to the album experience as a whole (not to mention the highs soar, i appear missing and fairweather friends are top 5 material for them. I appear missing might even be top 1 tbh.) i’m out of things to say so uhhh yeah like clockwork is my favorite :)

favorite songs: i sat by the ocean, the vampyre of time and memory, fairweather friends, i appear missing

#asks #musicposting #qotsa #THANK U

9 notes · View notes

multitrackdrifting · 2 years ago

Note

In light of the recent Limbus shitshow, are you still gonna finish up library of runia or are you just done with Projmoon?

Well I can't refund it so the least I can do is play it - but I don't plan on publishing my lobcorp video that's about 2-3 hours long for the time being. I probably won't resume streaming Ruina however.

It leaves a bad taste in my mouth if people would use a labour of love of mine to say "hey look there's something good here", I know there is something good there - but the CEO and his unquestionably stupid decisions makes the game impossible to talk about. I'm gonna be honest as far as boycotts go you and I probably know people who play league, overwatch or cod or something (maybe) or play something from a company with just as bad of practices that are either not as publicised or simply too far in the past for people to care.

I don't expect people to boycott nor do I think it's the bare minimum standard, people I know, especially those with larger platforms refuse to post about it even if they do play it or still keep up with it but yeah it's basically branded as a game now because of the controversy.

The thing about boycotts a lot of the time and I know this will be kind of bizarre to hear but I think they're very aesthetic in nature in that a lot of people usually clamour for them when they have less stakes in the matter so it's much easier to put pressure on others to do something they would not do for League (Riot Games), or Overwatch (Activision Blizzard).

This exact scenario has actually arisen with people talking about the game in that way and honestly it's not even like a what-aboutism kind of thing it's like, people really do not truly care about the ethics of the situation a lot of the time and many others simply do not know when they make their game-playing decisions, so it's really difficult to get mad about in most cases. That said, this game is niche enough where people probably know, but I wont assume their reasons for playing. Some people, however, are reveling in the backlash about the game bc they're not real fans or something for being upset about seemingly capitulating to reactionaries. This exchange I saw earlier honestly boggled my mind lmao - when the dog whistle is loud as fuck.

We don't have the complete facts, but unlike the nuance enjoyers on youtube & twitter that doesn't automatically mean I'm obligated to financially support a company because I obviously am concerned about the broader company and their job security.

On one hand it makes me frustrated beyond all belief that the decision makers (because lets be real falsely assigning blame to the artists, programmers, writers etc. at pmoon that aren't in a decision making role) are stupid that their art has to be undermined. Yeah, I don't doubt that there is more to the situation but if you make a tweet saying "we didn't do shit and we will sue u lol" and then announce a new banner the next day of course people are going to think you're a slimy company.

I'll put it like this anon: I might enjoy LCorp & Ruina privately at the very least, but Limbus is probably the most embarassing piece of media to be openly associated with, especially when you have people reveling in that a lot of women & lgbt+ members are going to be "filtered out" of the company by what they're reductively describing as "drama". Whether people boycott or not is up to them, but I'm waiting to see if they just brush it aside and pretend like nothing happened over time - I won't spend or post about the game, but I expect we won't actually see a genuine resolution until Canto IV ends and they realized that they didn't actually net anything from firing the artist or capitulating to an audience that will just as soon threaten their financial stability the moment they're validated for having achieved this outcome once before.

It's completely embarassing to be an open project moon fan right now, and honestly I could care less whose comfort media it is, I don't really care what they post or like - for me personally, this ordeal is so shameful that a video I worked hundreds of hours on is probably never seeing the light of day. That's about the gist of how I feel about how icky it is to even bother talking about their games. Fanart is one thing I guess, maybe I'll rb some from time to time, but honestly yeah I don't feel like making anything PMoon related pretty much until we have clear cut facts and if we never get it then yeah I'll just make peace with the reality and stop caring about Project Moon.

To answer your overall question, I probably won't bother making anything anything content wise for the game or even bother talking about it outside of DMs with my friends because yeah it's pretty much embarassing as fuck to even associated with this world. I think the art here is good, in terms of its writing & the artstyles of each of the games, I respect what is made there - but unfortunately we're the laughing stock of every other gacha community & honestly Idec about the hypocrisy of it all, I'm just astounded that they keep making it worse without ever really getting to the heart of the backlash. For LCorp & Ruina fans specifically I feel for them because it's not like they could've ever foreseen that this whole gacha endeavour would send everything up in smoke.

As for being Project Moon's strongest soldier (joking), I have less than zero interest in promoting their work until I have a decent confidence of vellmori's side (which I suspect is not even known because of either unknown factors, or a generic NDA that prevents them from commenting on their contract termination, not that unusual, especially if some kind of severance package is offered alongside it). Basically, I don't want to do any heavy lifting, even though I don't have that big of an audience, it just feels gross to bring them money when KR fans are outwardly begging other fanbases to stop playing and whether you do or not is up to you, but I'm personally just waiting till they shoot themselves in the foot enough times to completely walk away from this community/world. I do think that expecting everyone to express a deep remorse about a situation they did not create nor can they really control for the time being and self-flagellate about it is stupid though.

Hope vellmori & the pmoon staff get an equitable outcome out of all of this because as mad as I am I'm not so selfish as to think that having a dumb boss means you should have no job.

tl;dr - I don't want to openly associate with the "brand" even if the company =/= the community, it still feels weird, but that is just my own choice. I don't expect others to boycott. I'm waiting to see what happens, but judging by the reactionary replies to the latest banner it's probably nothing good in our future if Limbus survives this ordeal - since you will mostly have people who revel in the exodus of LGBT+ & women from the fandom.

#asks #long posts

7 notes · View notes

swagging-back-to · 1 year ago

Text

the way im still reeling from just how much my sister let me down

rant incoming bc im genuinely still mad

like i dont even know how to describe this feeling. 'let me down'is such an understatement.

i went into the weekend knowing it was gonna be awful bc she had just started taking ketamine from her psychotic male friend and was planning on bringing all sorts of psychedlics and hard drugs like ket and molly to a party thats like 2hrs away from either of our houses and in a place we dont know.

she didnt tell me if she needed a place to sleep till half an hour before she was gonna get there and i still hadnt eaten any food at all yhat day. so i had to clean the guest room with all my roommates shit piled to the ceiling and cook at the same time. AND THEN SHE NEVER EVEN STAYED TO SLEEP.

she parked like half an hour away from the party right next to the worlds shadiest and darkest park in existence that had 5 guys just standing behind trees watching us go to the car. and then she wanted subway so we walked like half an hour to subway just for her to decide "im not actually hungry teehee"

and when i was like nah im gonna go eat now if youre gonna play this shit before we even go to the party. we go into an asian restaurant and SHES NEVER FUCKING BEEN IN ONE? all she eats is spaghetti and mac and cheese. didnt even know what a fucling spring roll is. she ate it (a THAI STYLE SPRING ROLL!!!!) like it was a lump of shit. like she ripped it apart with her hands and picked at it with a grimace. i verbally called her out on how stupid that is multiple times.

and then she got mad at me when i tried to tip the waiter everything i had in my wallet ($4) and tried to say i shouldnt tip at all. and in the same breath shared how whenever she doesnt get tipped she wishes death on the person. im actually very anti tipping and i never tip unless im with someone else and they do it. so i was like "he either gets four dollars or he gets fucking nothing. thats whats in my wallet so thats what he gets."

and she asked if ice has gluten in it which is genuinely the dumbest diet question ive ever been asked and ive had dozens of people try to tell me chicken and fish are vegetabels.

she waited until we were right at the door to pop open her fireball and then was like "yeah what if i just throw it on the ground in front of a hundred people and two cops" as if both of us arent underage.

speaking of underage <3 she left an entire box of twisted tea in the car for 3 hours completely unlocked while the cops prowled the streets ♡♡♡♡♡ said she doesnt see why the car needs to be locked even tho it had her id hanging from the mirror with big bold letters saying 'not even 20'

then when we were about to be jumped by the guy following us she kept doing like. the exact opposite of what you should do. kept screaming loudly "omg youre sober!?!?!?!" whenever i would say 'yeah im sober enough to get the fuck out of this place we need to fucking leave'. even as a COP WAS RIGHT NEXT TO US.

and when i was begging her to call the people she knew in the area she called them each one time. never explained the situation. to the point one of them thought she was just joking (which says a lot about how she normally acts that he thought she was joking). and then looked at me like i was being unreasonable for telling her to just CALL THEM and TALK TO THEM so we arent just two high women stumbling down the street quietly. it only ended up happening because she accidentally butt dialed one of her fwb and then was too embarassed to tell him she was with me [her sister] (called me 'some friend') and refused to even look at me when she was talking to him.

and this isnt even the entire fucking event. this is just the main points.

im just genuinely scared to be moving in with her at this point, not knowing whether she'll willingly bring back a predatory male or if she'll take hard drugs in my apartment (im the primary tenant and pay almost all the bills. it's my apartment.) or if she's gonna try to out my dogs to the landlord and get them evicted because "i just dont really like small dogs at all." or if shes gonna quit her job just like 'oh and btw i wont come in tomorrow bc this place is shit and i dont think one of my coworkers'despite not having any job lined up afterwards (she has actually done this!!!) and refusing to get a job closer or better paying because "oh maybe in the warmer months illthink of it" ??????

like she is just so.untrustworthy and so outrageously just.... not all there. even just the few things ive told my case manager makes her go 'is she diagnosed as bipolar? she sounds like my unmedicated bipolar clients."

like yepppp she sure fucking does. im pretty sure our bio mother was a bipolar schizophrenic (schizo diagnosed but idk about bipolar)

3 notes · View notes

vacate-et-scire · 1 month ago

Note

Hellooo, would it be okay to do your matchup for bllk? I've been lurking around your blog for a while and just adore your writing sm !!

I identify as a she/they who is bisexual, 5"2 (tall arc when??), an ISTP and a virgo. I am half Korean, half european who enjoys learning and eating foods from other cultures.

I hve medium length that is slightly wavy, brown hair with hazel eyes and due to my shorter stature I am a little chubby, mostly with thighs and curves. I also wear round glasses, similar to Yukimiya.

My personality can switch up sometimes, mostly depending on who I'm with. I am an ambiviert that enjoys yapping and kind of gossiping (?) with my friends. Just basically rants. Even though I am the extrovert of my friendgroup, I can get shy and embarassed very easily. I'm a bit lazy at times as I enjoy sleeping, but overall don't mind going out with friends if they are up for it. My personality my seem polite and friendly at first, however once I become comfortable with others, I become foul-mouthed, slightly teasing and impaitient. This could also be due to my ADHD. I can be sarcastic but instantly take it back if the other person becomes offended, I'm a bit sensitive towards other people's feelings surprisingly. I seem like a leader type with my overally confident demour with friends, butttt I tend to follow along with someone's opinion I value and doing the heavywork instead. I'm pretty excitable and adore listening to people rant about their interests.

I'm extremely loyal to my friends and will throw hands at anyone who talks shit about them. My love language is physcial touch, I'm very clingy to my friends, in comparism to my crushes, where I'm too embarassed to initiate any PDA. I love crafting unique cards with presents for my friends, along with drawings inside of them.

I love manga, anime, and manhwa which had led me to draw wayyy too much. My favorites are One piece, Bungou stray dogs, Ruri dragon. I enjoy the parts that have that slice of life and funny aspects, yet still have deep lore. I find stories such as urban legends, the supernatural, mythology so interesting as it can tell us what people valued and believed back then. I may like horror, but I'm a scaredy cat. My favorite animal has got to be seals. I love the tiktoks of the ones from Tokkari Center in Japan, they make my day.

I hate ignorant people, bitter things, slugs and being undermined due to my nature appearing to be a bit of an airhead as I usually daydream and say stupid things which are usually just to lighten or get rid of the silence. I feel uncomfortable sitting in silence with groups, unless of course it's friends or a friend that I know doesn't mind silence.

I enjoy drawing other people's OCs, self inserts etc. (you should totally share yours!! i love seeing people's self inserts and ocs) Gaming is a minor hobby as I mostly just play Pokemon on my 3Ds and Switch, and sometimes Geshin Impact and Honkai star rail. Nothing too serious, but I do love pokemon a lot. I enjoy playing these games with people next to me rather than online, talking to people face to face is so much better in my opinion. I currently have an obession with the Chikawa franchise, both Chikawa and Hachiware are my faves as basic as it is.

I like someone who is bigger than me, sarcastic, funny and can talk for a while, basically an extrovert. I am into those who are a bit possessive and clingy, but still be able to back off and be understanding when needed. I have a few mental health problems and I am a bit vunerable at times especially when it comes to the topic of family, so I would want someone who can help me get away from those bad spaces. But overall I don't particularly have a type, just someone who is confident and is understanding is great.

Take your time doing my matchup, don't stress about it as you probably have tons of other matchups to do! Make sure to get lots of rest and take care of yourself. <3

Your Blue Lock Matchup: Eita Otoya

Hear me out, Eita Otoya fits you like a glove. His easygoing nature, combined with his supportive, sometimes teasing personality, makes him an excellent match for you. Much like you, Eita is an extrovert who loves socializing but can easily get embarrassed, especially when it comes to feelings. This may seem out of character for him, he's usually very calm and flirty, but that's when he's being a player, or just casually flirting, it's different with someone he actually plans on committing to and loving beyond just a one-week relationship he's having while seeing two others on the side for desert.

His playful teasing matches your tendency to be a bit foul-mouthed and impetuous when you’re comfortable with someone. You’d both have an endless supply of inside jokes and lighthearted arguments that make the relationship exciting and fun. Also, while he can be funny, there is no way this guy hasn't unironically watched brain rot videos like an iPad kid, but he won't let you see that side of him.

Eita’s physical affection matches your love for touch. You’re clingy with friends, and though you’re shy around your crushes, Eita would be kinda bold in this matter, he's always initiating touch, he wants to hold your hand, lean on you, sling his arm over your shoulder, kiss your cheek. He's proud you're his partner and kinda wants to show that off

Though he may be a bit of a tease, he’s also deeply supportive of his teammates and friends. Like you, he has a strong, confident exterior, but underneath that is a sensitive, caring person who values the people close to him that he hesitantly let's in, especially in the romantic department.

Eita’s extroverted and confident personality complements your own leadership qualities. While you may lean toward being more of a follower in some situations, Eita's confidence and leadership in the team would align with your own natural ability to take charge when needed. Both of you could support each other in making decisions, with Eita taking the lead in some areas, while still valuing your opinions and understanding when you need space or time to recharge.

Eita would be your safe space, allowing you to open up about deeper, more personal topics. He would understand your vulnerability around family or mental health, offering a steady presence when you need support the most. His confidence would give you the reassurance you need while respecting your emotional boundaries, and he would know how to help you lift your spirits without pushing you too far.

#🌸 match up #otoya eita #blue lock otoya #bllk otoya #otoya eita x reader

1 note · View note

cryoriku · 5 months ago

Text

hey you know it's really awesome and cool when ur a grown adult and after getting in a fight with ur mother who still insists on disrespecting and mocking you at any chance, ur adoptive father who has only ever been a source of fear since you were very little calls and instead of screaming at you he's very level and is legitimately concerned about my mental state.

some of his takes are still very shitty. even tho i routinely try the pacifist approach with her she can't stop mocking me and disregarding my boundaries and he acknowledges how aggressive she can be, he still puts the burden on me to be better and suck it up for the sake of maintaining a relationship (which is bs. both sides need to work or i shouldnt have to put up with it after all the abuse i dealt with as a child). and he thinks i need to just get back on meds which is such a backwards stereotype way of thinking that isnt accurate bc i stopped my last new meds bc they didnt really do much for me and gave me bad side effects.

it makes me feel like shit and embarassed now for being depressed and like all the efforts i have been making on getting out of my apartment more often and eating healthier and stuff arent being seen and just the worst of me is. it sucks too bc our mental health took a new redive after one of our ex's told us how we seem to not want to get better. which is an insanely fucked up thing to say and not worth listening to so we have tried to just ignore it but it haunts us still along with toxic ex friends whove talked about how pathetic and disgusting we are for being mentally/emotionally weak. which is wrong and bullshit and hirrible and WE HAVE gotten better before we want to be better again we're sick of living in a rollercoaster we want to be ourselves again 100% of the time and not just some of it, but believe it or not it's hard to keep your head above water much less swim to shore when people are constantly shoving you back down and wondering why youre not succeeding in breathing. dont you see how hard I'm trying?

plus with our dad it just gives us a fucked up moral dilemma of ik how estranged and distant his family is like theyre allergic to showing courtesy or affection and he was raised to be a good mannered cowboy and just sit and take when his mother does him wrong because it's family and he doesn't wanna lose it, so the same is true here, but I've already had it in my head for years that at some point i may have to cut ties. I'm just fucking caught. I'm trapped by the good moments we have, the good aspects of my parents and my sister. I'm caught by the fact my dad doesnt have a close family and everybody in my moms family has that same genetic ego that makes everyone think theyre better than everyone else or made them isolate and hide and die from drug overdoses alone in their bathroom. I'm caught by my baby niece who i don't want to leave alone with these people. I'm caught by my dog and grandma, until they pass, anyway. I'm caught by the stupid child in me who still *craves* a mother, *craves* a father, craves this idea of a family i never really had except in blurry photos if you dont look too close.

any fucking ways..... if anybody is able to get a therapist who can actually help me and not waste a year of my time trying to put me on drugs because they dont know how to do shit with systems and trauma to actually email me back, that would be epic.

i also want everyone reading this to stop seeing people as only their struggles or their trauma or their disability and start seeing them as PEOPLE with personalities and likes and interests first. believe it or not we don't think about our trauma or hardship a lot of the fucking time and it's real weird and a total fuckin bummer if thats all you seem to see. so, yeah.

have a happy sexy naughty bitchy sephiroth labor day guys

#vent

0 notes

minniweekss · 6 months ago

Text

sit your ass down this is a long one

idk what the fuck has been wrong with me lately but all i ever feel is rage. everything pisses me the fuck off. mom woke me up at 10:30, bad mood. yesterday i woke up at 1:30pm, pissed tf off. also dropped my coffee on my new shoes yesterday and then proceeded to knock my entire 24ounce tumbler of coffee off my desk and all over my fucking carpet so now im even more pissed off trying to clean this fuck shit up with stupid ass paper towels knowing that my carpet is now fucked forever.

now heres the embarassing part. my mom witnessed my entire rage fit. screaming, flailing, throwing shit around my room and quite literally destroying my room just because some coffee spilled on my run. quite literally was my last straw.

now lets throw it back to the 26th, my birthday. I wake up with fucking covid (didnt know it was covid until the 28th). My mom leaves for NC that morning. we were supposed to do a birthday breakfast but since i was sick she just straight up left and we didnt do anything. so i spent the weekend alone with mike. Friday night i spent alone in my room with my little piece of cake and Love Island. then i went to work the next day (with a mask ofc) and worked a 9.5 hour shift while swaying and seeing black spots. oh lemme mention it was opening weekend of the new deadpool movie so it was fucking busy to say the least.

Anyways this whole weekend im literally alone. me myself and i. mom comes back, suddenly mike is sick. guess what? she buys him soup, fruit, juice, medicine, literally anything he needs. When i told my mom i had covid and was taken off the work schedule for the rest of the week she told me i should have said my test was negative so i could work anyways. ma'am im fucking sick with a very contagious disease are you fucking fr. while you're letting mike sit here and act like hes on his fucking death bed. suuuuuure.

now lets back it up even more to the weekend before my birthday. i had to celebrate that weekend bc i couldnt get the weekend of the 26th off bc of, you guessed it, deadpool. anyways. we were taking this blacksmithing class that i had my eye on for MONTHS. now im the one in the group to be known as the fantasy/medieval lover. i was quite literally writing a book about a blacksmith so. I was extremely excited for this class and i was trying to keep up with pics and videos of the progress cuz it looked like none of my friends were taking videos. I noticed a few here and there but didnt really think of it cuz i was so focused on making my knife. we get out of the class and back home and im sending all the pics and vids that i took and they did the same, and there were a lot more videos than i thougt. not a single one was me. i dont want to sound like a bitch saying like oh record me im important, no. But i was very excited for the class and i was trying my best to get videos of my own progress and they literally saw me doing that and didnt think to get a video of me making it? every single person that was in my group got a nice video of them tinkering away, while im seen in the background of the videos.

like quite literally one of them got a video of her doing each fucking step. why tf was i being ignored. they were barely even talking to me dude they were all talking to each other and im over here like ok i guess ill just focus on my knife then. there were a lot of cool tricks i was doing with the instructor, but i couldnt take a video bc blacksmithing needs both fucking hands. and i was too embarassed to ask for a video. i feel like i shouldnt have to ask..... the trick we did was called a double strike. the instructor did it with one of my friends and literally everyone whipped their phone out for a video. then a few mins later he came up to me and asked if i wanted to try and i was so excited. it was making me feel like a orc in mordor or something i thought this shit was so fucking cool. anyway we start, and i look around and not one person is even watching. cool.

idk i usually really dont like photos or videos of me cuz i hate the way i look so much, but this is probably the one thing i wanted a video of and didnt get one. i should have fucking asked them to take videos but i didnt think about it until we were home and i noticed that everyone else got a video of themselves. i was like "oh!" so i couldnt really post for my birthday cuz i didnt fucking have any pictures to post. literally all i got is a group picture with the instructors.....

to be fucking honest it felt like i was the third wheel when it was my planned event. not even just an event, but my 25th birthday. i feel like ever since then ive been agitated and annoyed all the time, especially with my friends. im becoming short tempered with them now. i dont think its a direct correlation to the blacksmithing at all i think its cuz my attitude has been so sour lately.

this post is all over the place so bear with me ok. im gonna jump around a lot. another thing that sets me off is when i text my friends either questions or plans i need them to confirm and they take 5 fucking day to respond to me, like shit i dont fucking need it now. idk i just cant be friends with someone who wont answer my messages like how the fuck are we supposed to talk if you dont even respond. im talking to myself at this point.

and my close close friends do this to me too so its making me become more distant with them because my biggest mode of communication is through text. because realistically i NEVERRRRRRRR see my friends. its a once every three months event okay. so you cannot judge me for being a big texter and wanting my friends to respond to me. i really dont want to feel like im fucking begging for your attention. i shouldnt HAVE to beg for your attention. I pretty much have two friends i send everything to and they're both out of state so... i cant even get my fucking in state friends to talk to me.

all of this to say im angry and lonely. im always angry in some form, im like the fucking hulk bro it takes the smallest fucking thing to set me off. and im so lonely all the fucking time cuz as you can tell, my friends dont fucking text me, i dont have any siblings either so its like wtf do i do. The only time i get human interaction is at work with stupid fucking customers. also dont have a partner cuz i didnt experience romantic love in high school or college so i fear its over for me. 25, havent been in a single relationship. not even joking bro not 1. ive had maybe 3 people like me before: my friend in HS when i wasnt even romantically processing things yet, a dude from work who only wanted to fuck, and a friend from college who iced me out when i said no.

idk i think thats SO comforting only having 3 people in your entire 25 years to be interested in you. that i know of at least. but out of those 3, only 1 asked me out so its like ok. even when i go out with friends they're the ones that get approached or flirted with by everyone. like at blacksmithing dude the cute instructors were flirting w all my friends and then when they got to me they'd be talking all business... cool thanks i get it im ugly as shit ok. i dont think theres ever been a girl or guy in public thats even checked me out. girls dont even go for me so thats fucking great. idk dude this type of shit makes me feel like im genuinely ugly. i know thats probably not true but thats how i see myself and how ive seen myself for years. i have never liked my face. ever. its always been my biggest insecurity. when covid first started and we wore masks i was fucking thriving having half my face covered. i looked so much better.

cant even try dating apps bc im demisexual so i cant even build a connection like that. and this time is all about hook up culture and friends w benefits its like i dont want that shit bro. i want an emotional connection with someone first before it gets physical because im fucking scared. I already hate myself so why would i let some stranger see my gross naked body bro ew. i cant do this dating shit brother i am genuonely about to be single for the rest of my goddamn life. which might be the end of me considering no one can fucking afford to live by themselves anymore and i REALLY dont want to live with a friend and their partner cuz that would just make me fucking depressed about my own love life.

screw the fucking world. im over this stupid ass shit dude, people fucking suck. relationships suck. friends suck. work sucks. life fucking sucks. cant afford to do anything, 25, still living at my fucking moms house. its like im stuck int he same spot and not moving forward. time seriously stopped in 2020 cuz what the fuck do you mean im 25 and not 20. i lost sooo much time to the pandemic and it made me worse. it made me more anxious, more depressed, more scared to go outside and enjoy life. like i used to be so productive. I was going to school and working 40 hrs a week. and now im only working 42hrs a week and i can barely get out of bed on my days off.

as i get older it just seems like life gets worse and worse. like i dont see this picking up at all. i literally only see a downward spiral from here.

life is absolute hell that is only sprinkled with good moments. idk if the good moments are enough to outweigh the bad at this point. idek if i want to make it to 30. im so miserable here. i dont even have any family in this stupid state except my mom. llike i dont have siblings and i barely have a fucking family either. dont talk to my aunt or cousins, dont talk to my oma cuz she hates me, barely talk to my other grandparents bc they're insane. its like i literally only have my mom. ,everyone else i know can go swing by their cousins place and hang out or spend the night. ive never been able to do that. my aunt left the state two months before my mom had me. like literally everyone related to me has moved away. like if i was close with my cousins at least thered be SOME family i could actually talk to and be close to. nah dude. its just me and my mom, literally. that is so fucking sad.

god help me bro

#personal vent

0 notes

crobones · 1 year ago

Text

I know dyslexia is a thing. and discalculia. and sometimes people just fucking use words wrong. and it's probably elitist or some other -ist or something but I'm more passionate than not about language and when people consistently get a very specific detail wrong, I get worried.

it's different from if people say "granite" out loud as opposed to pronouncing "taken for granted" and it's not if someone says "axed" as opposed to "asked." verbal dialect influencing the way we speak is understandable. chances are! that someone who says "granite" or "axed" likely knows the correct terminology or spelling. and the beauty of spoken language is, if you understood what was said, then what was said conveyed the appropriate message and is thus still correct!

my ick/worry/annoyance/whatever you want to call it comes out when I - about a decade ago, in front of the board of education at my university - used the word "behoove" incorrectly. it's when I just saw a tumblr user say "I cannot empathize enough that [insert fact here]" when they definitely meant "emphasize." it's when people say "at the drop of a dime" as opposed to "at the drop of a hat" (a phrase that describes a willingness of a subject to do something instantly, without hesitation) or "stop on a dime" (something - usually a mode of transportation - can specifically stop, on purpose, near instantaneously.)

like, I know it's stupid. language changes over time; it grows and diminishes and flows like water because it's a concept. and I know people somewhere down the line will know the correct origins of words and phrases and meanings, while others will not. yes, it's a matter of education, but that is not to say it's an unwillingness to learn.

unnecessary context time!

when I would correct my mother (on grammar or otherwise), she would get upset. my family would then get upset because I upset her and then we all had to deal with it. they said I was being rude or annoying or that i was trying to embarass her. but even now, I knew I wasn't correcting her out of malice. to this day, my correcting someone or something is not out of malice. it is my way of saying "it's possible you don't know this thing, and I enjoy and feel useful when sharing information!"

it's the same part of me that, when a person pauses and has trouble finding a word, I suggest words based on context clues. if they ask me to stop suggesting words (happened once or twice) then I stop, obviously. but when I guess the word correctly, I don't feel a sense of superiority, I feel a sense of usefulness. I, a person with ADHD, am incredibly familiar with the frustration that comes with knowing a word, it's at the tip of your tongue, but your brain isn't connecting in the correct way to make the word appear. it makes me worry about being misunderstood. you can likely imagine, with undiagnosed ADHD, I was misunderstood a lot.

so when I would correct my mom on menial things like grammar, it was my neurodivergent way of saying "I understand what you're saying, and so people don't misunderstand you in the future, here is the correct or more appropriate way of saying it." ha ha ha jokes on me, I was misunderstood on as to why I was correcting her.

but then her frustration with my correcting her also occurred when I was correcting her on important things - like how most of the rioters during the marches for George Floyd were mostly plants or nonprotesters taking advantage. and how, even then, why is a building that can be repaired more important than a man's life? or when I corrected her when calling my cousin's girlfriend a "k*ke" is not o-fucking-kay.

regardless of the context of my correcting her, she always got defensive. she felt that I was trying to be or superior to her. because she felt insecure when I corrected her grammar, she then used that same mindset to get embarrassed when I called her out on shit that actually mattered.

so which is it - am I annoying for correcting someone to the point that, when the subject matter is actually important, I shouldn't be surprised to be ignored? or is she so insecure about being uneducated on specific matters that she wilfully would equate her frustration in regards to both situations. the old "I'm not racist, you just are rude for trying to correct me all the time."

to this day, she tries to say "oh, I don't remember saying that."

then! useless context number two!

my most recent ex-roommate! he would not only misuse words, but then he would try to imply I was not only uneducated but also "less than" for trying to correct him. he said "nuance" was, specifically, the details of something. I said "I could be wrong, but I think you're using nuance incorrectly. It could be because of my background in media studies, but to my knowledge, the word means the slight differences in the details or - well, even the word nuance has nuance to it's meaning. The difference between your use of it and how it's actually defined - that, in and of itself, has nuance."

two hours. this motherfucker argued and debated with me for two hours on how he was right, I was wrong. he said he was going by the dictionary definition. there was a fucking eye-witness to this. the moment we walk away, "agreeing to disagree," I google the fucking word. I start laughing. eye-witness asks what's funny. I show him the fucking Google definition of "nuance" being nearly word for word what I was trying to explain.

but wait, there's more! then he tries to change the definition of "passive aggressive" on me. and "gaslighting." He thinks that if he feels he is being lied to, that's gaslighting. even if you're telling the truth about what just happened five minutes ago and all eye-witnesses agree with that the order of events. no no no! his brain is an iron-trap and cannot be corrected! then, when I said he's using the phrase "gaslight" incorrectly, he said I was implying he was dumb. I said "no, I said you were using 'gaslight' incorrectly. now youre using 'imply' incorrectly."

He said, "you said everything but."

I said, "that's the definition of imply, but that's not how you just used it. stating directly that you are wrong about something is not implying you are an idiot. I won't be passive aggressive about it. I will call you dumb to your face."

then I remember. years before - before any of these arguments - I tried to tell him you can't be racist against white people. you can be prejudice, but due to the lack of any systemic oppression against white people for being white, you technically can't be racist against whites. the motherfucker pulls out the dictionary definition like the reddit debatelord he is. I tell him that there's fucking nuance between how the dictionary defines it and how society in general uses it. he said to me "You're not using nuance correctly." I live in a sitcom.

so what have I learned over the years? from my perspective, I could very easily come to the conclusion that manipulators and abusers don't like being corrected on things. that their insecurity in the possibility of a reality in which they are wrong about literally anything can easily be a reason WHY they abuse and manipulate people.

why the diatribe about manipulative people in my life? because there's another roommate. she's a decade younger than the aforementioned roommate and myself, and nearly half a century younger than my mom.

this younger roommate will wilfully admit when she doesn't know something. she admitted to not knowing who Albert Einstein was. she will hear me use a word like "cathartic", actively listen and wait until I'm done talking, and then ask what the word I used means because she doesn't know or never heard it before. And she will listen to my answer.

but my worry is when the internet will try to tell her misinformation before she actively looks for answers herself. idk how much of tumblr was aware of Helen Keller TikTok at the time, but there were conspiracies galore going around about how Helen Keller either didn't exist or wasn't truly deaf and blind. luckily, I had just recently heard of the trend and brought it up in conversation, and she admitted to having seen the conspiracy theories. aforementioned gaslight/gatekeep/girlboss roommate and I finally agreed on something, even if it was just the fact that Helen Keller existed. We both encouraged her to look up her own research, or at the very least, don't believe everything TikTok tells you.

tangent: I need to tell her that her ability to admit not knowing something is fucking admirable because, even though we will make jokes poking fun, none of it is actually malicious, and her willingness to learn is something she should be proud of.

eitherhoot! stevie! what does any of this have to do with the literal beginning subject of your rant? so glad you asked! misinformation is abundant on the internet. words have meaning. insecurities breed unhealthy behaviour like manipulation and abuse.

so essentially, if I see someone misusing a word on the internet, I feel compelled to correct them because words are important, but I never want someone to think that I'm correcting them as a way to mock them. a person admitting when they're wrong is admirable. but a person refusing to admit they're wrong about the definition or use of a word has become a red flag for me. if they won't admit to being wrong to something as simple as grammar, how can I expect them to admit being wrong about actually fucking important things, like racism, or antisemitism, or gaslighting.

so if I correct something in the tags, I hope people understand that I'm trying to convey that I understand what they said. I will even explicitly say whether I agree or disagree! but I've seen people get defensive in regards to being corrected on things. "it's elitist! classist" or whatever fucking buzzword they want to use at the time.

motherfucker, there is no shame in admitting wrong. it's fucking admirable. assuming someone doesn't want to be corrected is taking away their decision on whether they want to learn or not. assuming the person being corrected is feeling shame says more about you than it does them. assuming any correction is out of malice or mockery also implies (lol) to me that there is an insecurity there, and I begin to see red flags.

STEVIE? DO YOU GO THROUGH THIS ENTIRE SELF-INDUCED CRISIS ANYTIME YOU SEE A WORD MISUSED ONLINE?

BITCH I HAVE ADHD. OF COURSE I DO. IT HAPPENS IN SECONDS.

and, in case you were wondering, yes. I do actually use either archaic or convoluted words, phrases, and idioms in my every day life, if this fucking rant wasn't example enough.

#long post that doesn't fucking matter #don't look at me lol i'm having a monologue #tbd

0 notes

meaty4spicedbuns · 3 years ago

Text

Who would win in a Pocky challenge against you - Tokyo Revengers Headcanon

Me and my friends always come up with head Canon when we watch the same show ; and I have the tendency to extend a lot the univers since I kinda focus on things and have a really vívid imagination. So let's me tell you we have a few good laugh about about Tokyo Revengers since the whole characters seems to share the same brain cells sometimes.

Pairing age!up character : ''Mikey'' Manjiro Sano;'' Draken'' Ken Ryûgûji; Baji Keisuke; Takemichy Hanagaki; Chifuyu Matsuno; Takashi Mitsuya; Hakkai Shiba.

Warning : should i put a warning for (almost sometimes) kisses ? Otherwise bad grammars

Mikey

I'm pretty sure Mikey's the kind of not care about proximity and shit when he is not that much attracted to someone in a romantic way. So if you do it, and he sees you as a friend, he'll takes a good fun to sees how long you can eat the pocky. But at the end he'll win because he loves those biscuit. He'll eat it full in almost one bite and stole the package from you at the end.

But if he has any feelings or else about you, he'll ended up being a mess. All embarassed to see your lips coming closer once your eating the Pocky. And it would be worst especially since he can see how much you are aware that his stare is dodging yours. Because at the end, he can't stop himself starring at your lips. It's almost made him panicking seeing them that close (since he his EXTREMELY BAD with everything around love and shit).

So he would quickly break the pocky by backing off his head. However, since he is a bad looser, he would quickly turn around, roll his eyes up and grab the Pocky's box to eat them alone.

"Leave you this one, I get all the other." he'll voice without adding anything more. He'll sit away, but soon enought he'll tap next to him for you to come sit where he is now.

Draken

He wouldn't play, or find it interesting, except if he's interested in you. As you were eating Pocky's with him, you would turn around and talk about this game.

If he sees you as a friend, he would bash it off saying it's stupid.

But if he is interested in you, he would play the game and tries to embarrasse you.

He would take a Pocky, lay his head on his hands, and move you to come closer. Of course if you stay with him, that mean you have kind of an attitude to talk back and that you're a brat. So you'll play in his game, bend toward him and block the other side of the biscuit between your lips.

But even if he's the one taking the lead to this stupide game, he wouldn't move. He would just stare at you, amused. And it would tease you to try to play and test his patience. You eat the biscuit and came closer, little by litte. However he wouldn't move. Not and inch. Just starring with a smile.

At the end, you would decided to break the pocky right before touching his lips. Because you were beginning to get too shy. But it isn't what Draken thought.

In his case he want to try to push it a little bit more. He decides to take another turn right before you choosed to back off and eat the last bit. He open his mouth, come closer and take it, taking a volatile kiss on your lips.

In a second you turn around, with the end of the pocky between your teeth. You stare at him, blushing as a mess, and say all shy :

"You no fun! you would mumble, all blushing, putting your hand on his cheek.

" Oh yeah ? Because I founded this game funny, he would chuckled."

Takemichy

LET'S SAY he have a crush on you, and he isn't officially with Hina. You would both hang out around town and would have bought thing to eat outside. In a park, under a tree, you would both sit and eat those pocky before you bring that game you heard about.

You would propose and see him loose his cool. As you block a Pocky between your lips he would look somewhere else far away while already being a blushy mess. So you would took of the pocky from your lips and smile :

"You're giving up 'Takemichou'?"

He would turn around, frown his brow and say :

"Never!"

He would turn around, frown his brow and say :tween his lips he would be so embarrassed to see you staring at him. Thankfully he is way more embarrassed than you so it would take off the shyness you have. You would win so easily and decided to not push too much since you have almost pity to see him struggling to keep eyes contact with you, and you were actually really enjoying his company.

Chifuyu

You are both sitting on some stairs at your Building. The weather is nice that day, feeling good to stay around outside, and Chifuyu wanted to hang around with you. So he invited himself, came to get you out of whatever you were doing outside.

He know you love chocolate Pocky and bought those for you. You then walk around town and headed back to your place. You live in a big building with some exit backstair. You both love to sit there since there never anybody aroud there. You bring some biscuit out your flat and came back sitting next to him.

You then take the pocky box to eat it. And as you were eating some, you ended up staring at you. A smile paint on your face as you look at him.

"You know the Pocky's challenge ?" He bend his head on the side confused. "You eat the Pocky, and the one's chickening out is the looser."

You block one between yours lips after explaining the game. You bend over him, your legs touching his, as his shoulders crisp a little. Your eyes is inviting him to play.

He look away, blush a little, then look back at you with a huge smile.

"Y'a gotta loose, y'a know that ?"

He put his lips over the Pocky and t take a bit to it. At this moment, you don't know why but you want to win. So you close your eyes, tilt your head and eat the pocky more. In a second your both lips touched and Chifuyu head's back off. He was trying not to focus on you otherwise he would had back away sooner.

When you opened your eyes, he was blushing red so much it made you smile wide.

"You're lips are soft for a boy, you chuckled.

"Oh shut up!"

He take a Pocky out of the box and eat it. So you smile more :

"Wanna try again? After all, you lost since you are the one who back off."

He look at you dead in the eyes. Seeing your smile made him even more shy. He push your face with his hands before turning his head.

"Pf. I'll leave you win this time."

Mitsuya

He is a snitchy bitch that loves to play around. He isn't shy at all to be honnest.

That day you wanted to hang out peacefully, and meet Mitsuya who was walking around town. You step at his side and he just explain how he came back from a rendez-vous and was so tired. The discussion lead to you proposing him to lay near a little lac in a nearby parc. He needed to grab something so you both separated and meet there.

As a surprised he bring you your fav's snack, and you done it too knowinfg he was tired and you wanted to made him happy. Then you both lay on your jacket, shoes off. You put the whole package of snack between you two and closed your eyes, talking about shit before your belly scream hungryness.

You then look in the bag and grab the Pocky's box.

"My fav's ! Vanilla and Nuts !" You open it, stare in your eyes, and see him grabbing one.

"I know a game, he smile. You know the Pocky's challenge?

"Oh yes I heard of it, you smile.

"Wanna try your courage?, he wink.

"Let's go."

He place the pocky between his lips, and you can't take off than starring at them. But you decided to continu and bite the extremity too.

Nonetheless this boy isn't gonna turn back. He is all smilling, and seeing him all playfull made you so shy. So take the lead and began to take a bite. You continu too, closing your eyes as you came closer.

And let's be honnest, he is willing to embarassse you, but he stopped when you're lips almost touch. You open your eyes, meet his stare. You were ready to say something as he lay closer and eat the remaining biscuit between your two. His lips almost touch yours, but he respect your boundaries and decided not to do more.

But he can't contain the next chuckled he let out once he is backing off. You are all blushy and tense.

"If I would know you would look that cute embarrassed!, he laugh.

"Come on!" you say all shy.

Baji

Let's said it ahead : He would loose. But he would be the only one to try multiple times.

The first time you propose to play, you were both sitting on a bench facing the sea. You decided to spend the day away for the two of you and you wanted to see the sea.

During your trip you stopped at a shop to buy something to eat for your sweet tooth. And Pocky's one of your favorite.

" Dark chocolate and mint flavor !" you show the box to Baji.

"Nice, he say without knowing what else to answer.

"I've got a game, you continu while opening the package. Wanna play with me? It's a two player only.

"Go ahead."

He is showing his big proud smile with his little pointy teeth showing off. The cuteness.

But not for so long. You place a Pocky between your lips, look at him and wink. Seeing his perplexe réaction, you took off the biscuit from your lips and explain.

"The plot is to see how much you can eat before chicken out.

"It's childish, he add.

" You can say you are too shy to win."

His brow frown on his forehead.

"OK, let's go."

He is showing his big proud smile with his little pointy teeth showing off. The cuteness.at he blush. You starring, with your big gorgeous eyes and your soft smile. He can't. He turn his head and break the pocky.

First time of his long defeat score.

It became kind of a running joke between you two both. Everytime you have a Pocky box you propose to try, and everytime he melt because of your eyes, face, cheek, smile, your whole. Even him, sometimes, come with a box and propose before he loose and leave the rest to you.

And with time passing, you proclame it your "Pocky date" at this point. And Baji loved it. Of course he'd always loose ; but at the end he don't care because it always made you smile.

Hakkai

OK let's begin the supposing right?

Supposing you are with the Toman for a long time and run.

Supposing everybody kinda love you.

Supposing you are really close to Taka-Kun.

Supposing he introduced you to Hakkai, knowing you both gonna live each other.

So Hakkai grow to get use to you and talk with you.

"Tada!" you take of the Pocky package from your bag. You legs are swinging in the air as you look down at him from your balcony.

"What?" Hakkai look at you all perplexe.

"Let me come down!"

You get out your flat in less than five minutes. In yoga pants and long band tee-shirt. You hairs are a mess but you don't care if it's for Hakkai ; you know that man won't judge.

"Oh, the famous fav' Pocky I guess, he smile so genuinely.

"Thoses are the best! Cookie and cream! Wanna taste!"

You turn around him and go jump to sit on a little wall near. He follow and sit on it too. You open the package and get one, ready to gave it before you have an illumination.

"Do you know that game with Pocky?" he move his head from left to right. "It's one to see how much you can eat the pocky without chicken out. I mean.." you put the pocky between your lips and look at him.

He's about to find an excuse to not do it, but the possibility of the two of you kissing, or even your lips almost touching, made him happy but almost so freaking embarrassed. But at the end he place himself at the end of the Pocky, eyes closed. He began to eat it, but when he open his eyes and see you to close he took his head of.

" From your lips?" you nods. You take of the biscuit.

" Your chickening?"

The pocky break, you win.

When you felt it broke, you open one eyes to see him. He is so blushy you are happy with yourself.

" I win!

" Yeah,, you win!" he lift an arm. He is smiling but looking away. And that made you really happy with yourself to see how shy he ended up, but how much he wanted to try. Because it has it meaning.

You took of another pocky out the box and handed it to him.

"Here's, for my favorite Pocky's opponent.

" Favorite?, he take it.

" And only one." You give him a wink but he don't want to belive what his brain is saying. So he just chuckled and eat the Pocky, singling his foot in the ears.

314 notes · View notes

angelblooms · 7 years ago

Text

the worse i feel the more i’m thinking about my escape fantasies. like i’m having a great time with all my friends and things are generally pretty okay but there’s certain.....things that i just want to run away from!!!

escape fantasy #1: this one is soft and pastel and quiet. i live in a beach house. i can go outside and the beach is right there. i go to sleep at night with the sound of waves. i wear flowy dresses everyday. there’s no stress or worry or weirdness. no one talks to me, or bothers me, but i’m not lonely. i don’t need anyone, and that’s okay. the days are long and slow, seeming to go on forever, but in a good way.

escape fantasy #2: this one is yellows, oranges, reds, bright blue. i live in california. i have a small apartment with brick walls. i work at a coffeeshop, and it’s really chill and easy. i have a big group of friends, and i never feel off or weird around them. i never get that “alone in a crowded room” feeling. they’re accepting and open, even if i say something off-the-wall. i feel important around them. i never have to fight for anyone’s attention. every weekend, we hang out at someone’s place or go somewhere around the city. things are loud and crazy, but never too much. just the right amount.

escape fantasy #3: this one is new. i live in a cold, green country, like ireland. i have a cluttered house with a lot of windows. wild animals come visit, like goats, sheep, rabbits, etc. i’m not sure if anyone’s involved in this one but it’s very quiet and comfortable.

#so yeah there's what my mind looks like recently #:-)#there's some moments lately where i'm like #'i need to get out of here'#a lot of it has to do with me being embarassing and saying stupid shit and immediately regretting getting out of bed #i'm kind of becoming a different person but im not sure if i like it #this weekend has been so emotional #i've been thru every emotion multiple times a day #and disassociating!!!! that's new #last night i felt like i wasn't in my body it was great #but yea anyways the idea of being somewhere else where no one knows who i am is so amazing right now #the beach house one is my favorite #when i think about it i see pastel colors and the waves crashing #it's really calming #i'm not sure if this is like.....a good thing but it helps #but it's also sad that they're only fantasies and it's not like i;ll ever be there #save #putting this is in my save tag bc i might use it in my story ???

1 note · View note

loversindevildom · 3 years ago

Note

hello! I'm not that anon but thank you for the other period-related hcs, if it's okay, may I ask for the brothers' reactions to an MC who doesn't have painful ones, but bleeds A Lot and is terrified of getting communal/the brothers' stuff dirty? people with monster uteruses unite

((Definitely!! Currently on my period while writing this and felt it-

((Also would you look at that, the me is posting again-

Masterlist

The boys x MC with heavy flow

Lucifer

It all began when one of your worst nightmares came true.

You woke up early in the morning having bled all over his sheets.

You were panicking. Badly.

Lucifer was still sound asleep on his side of the bed, having noticed nothing.

Without thinking, you immediately get out of bed and go fast towards the wardrobe to grab some sheets.

You had no idea how you were going to change them without waking Lucifer up but one step at a time.

But he was already awake as soon as he felt you get off the bed. "MC?" He mumbled your name quietly before opening his eyes.

You wished a hole could open underneath your feet and the earth would swallow you. You also happened to be wearing white pijamas and so the blood was obvious all over you.

Lucifer had just woken up and was not thinking straight so his first thought was that someone attacked you or that another demon attempted to eat you and immediately rushed to you and pulled you in his arms. "Who?"

"what?"

"Who hurt you?"

"no one... I'm so sorry!!" You cried in dispair and that's when Lucifer started understanding what was going on.

"It's your menstruation? I thought someone attacked you... It's alright. I'll go fill in the bath for you."

Thankfully you changed the sheets before he realized you got them dirty.

Or so you thought. In reality he had noticed but didn't want to embarass you.

Mammon

He knew you were on your period.

You had told him the moment it came.

But it didn't matter to him much. He didn't know many things about it, only that you're in pain.

"Hey, come on, sit with me." He patted the couch beside him in his room.

He knew you were hurting and he wanted to cuddle you and watch some movies with you and spoil you with chocolate he stole from Beel.

When you shook your head in return, his heart shattered. "I'm not really in that mood."

"B-But! It's your favourite!"

"I'll just go to sleep."

"We can sleep together here."

You sighed and he felt the world twist. You didn't want him anymore? That's it? It was over?

"What did I do?"

"nothing! I just don't want to get blood all over your couch!"

"Ohh..." He felt relieved. That was all. Truth be told, this couch was pretty expensive but you were worth ten times that couch...

"Don't you wear that pad thing you talked about?" After you nodded he added. "Then it's fine. Get your stupid pretty human ass here now. You don't wanna miss the beginning."

Leviathan

He wanted you two to cosplay today.

You had been planning to go to that convention for months.

The day had arrived and he had excitedly changed into his costume only for you to come out and say you're not going.

And he's ???? So confused ????

He thought you wanted this as much as he did.

Did you fake your interest?

"look, Levi, I'm sorry. I was really looking forward to the con but I got my period today."

Ohhhhhhh it was because of that thing. That was a relief.

"it's fine! The con is a week long, we'll go by the end of it. And we can wear the costumes inside and cuddle!"

The idea horrified you.

"NO!" The costumes were amazing and Levi had paid of them. You couldn't ruin it.

"why?" He was confused again.

"I'll get blood all over it. I always get things dirty. You should keep me away from your stuff." After all you knew how much he valued his merch.

Leviathan rolled his eyes and walked over to you. He grabbed your wrist and pulled you down with him. He wrapped a TSL blanket over you and proceeded to play games with you all night.

After all, you were more valuable than all these together.

Satan

You two had visited Devildom's public library to get a book he had ordered for you.

He had seen how fascinated you were as soon as you heard it came out and immediately ordered it for you.

You were looking around the shelves with him while the staff was going to bring you your book when you felt an intense pain on your lower parts.

Looking down you realized blood was leaking everywhere.

Panicking, not sure what to do you hid behind a bookshelf.

Satan panicked as soon as he realized you were gone.

What if another demon had fetched you and eaten you?

"MC?" He called out your name. Once, twice, thrice...

"Here..." You said in embarrassement. You had the idea of using a jacket to cover the mess in your pants. But you had accidentally grabbed his...

When he finds you he was relieved. "There you are, I was worried..." Then he scanned you. "My jacket looks good on you."

You weren't sure how to tell him, so you continued and went all the day back to the house of Lamentation when you immediately put it in the washing machine.

Of course, he had noticed. You had been dripping on the floor.

But being aware this was a normal thing, he decided not to embarass you and make a big deal out of it.

Asmodeus

You were screwed.

You were seriously screwed and not in the good way.

This had been a lesson to you to always keep in mind when your period was coming.

Because the one time you had forgotten, you had wore Asmo's clothes to sleep.

He told you you could use them whenever you wanted.

It made him very happy to see you wearing his clothes and it made you feel very comfortable so why not?

This was the reason not to.

Because waking up that morning, you had gotten blood all over his clothes.

"Shit."

Your exclaim and panic woke him up, but he was too focused on your face to notice the blood at first.

"What happened, my love? Are you okay?"

"I'm so sorry, Asmo!!"

It took him a few seconds but then he realized exactly what you were talking about. He took a deep breath. This was a disaster, but you didn't do it on purpose.

"It's fine. It's your time of the month? Come on we should get you changed. Wanna run a bath together? I can give you a massage too." He winked as he got up to get the water running. He prefered to focus on you than his ruined clothing.

And this, my friends, is called love.

Beelzebub

You were always careful when it was your time of the month not to get anything dirty. Always.

However, the unfortunate day had arrived.

You were in his bed, playing on your DDD while Beel was picking up some food from the kitchen.

And then it happened. The major pain. And you realized you had been bleeding all over his sheets. You should change them before Beel-

Speak of the devil....

Beel walked in happily and let the food down on the tray next to the bed. As he leaned down to put them there he noticed the blood and frowned.

You were scared you had disgusted him.

"are you hurting too badly? I'll bring you some medicine."

Cause he's that sweet.

Diavolo

Yes I will say this every single time I write about this one;

He's busy.

So even if you do get blood in his stuff you'll certainly have time to clean it.

However, fate isn't very nice...

When Diavolo is in his study, he likes to work with you sitting on his lap.

When you felt the sharp pain in your stomach you immediately jumped off his lap and fell on the floor.

"MC? What happened!? Are you okay?" He asked worrily.

You didn't answer him, instead you run towards the bathroom.

Yes, you didn't get anything on him but it was big a jumpscare itself.

Diavolo knocked on your door once. "Dear? What happened?"

"nothing! It's fine, my period just came!"

He was silent for a bit. You thought he left but as soon as you opened the door he was standing right there and he hugged you. "I see... Come on, let's go back. I promise we'll cuddle when Im done."

"I'll get blood all over you!" You argued back.

In response he picked you up and walked back to his chair where he made you sit on him again.

Simeon

Simeon is such a sweetheart.

He probably has already noted your circle on his calendar.

He remembers when it's that time of the month always.

Usually, so do you.

Usually.

You had miscalculated this time. You thought it was due for next week and so you had wore a nice white dress for your date with Simeon.

He wasn't sure what to say. He thought you looked gorgeous in that one but...

"Sweetheart, are you sure? I love the way the dress looks at you but I don't want you to feel bad if it gets dirty."

You were so confused. "What?"

"You said you avoid wearing white when it's that time of the month... Unless you're late? Oh my lord, are you late?" His eyes were shining and that's when you realized what he meant.

"shit! No I am not! Wait here!" You rushed back into your room to get changed and indeed found blood between your legs.

You couldn't find yourself feeling bad tho.

All you could thinking about was the way Simeon's eyes had shined at the thought of being a father.

Solomon

As a human like yourself, he treats it much more normal than the others do.

He doesn't treat you any different then really, unless you're in pain.

Then you're getting backrubs.

You were sitting on the couch with him and he was telling you a story about how he first formed a pact.

When he was finished you felt the need to go to the bathroom.

Then you noticed the red stain in your pants.

Shit that was a lot of blood. Had you gotten it on the chair too?

Thankfully, when you returned it was gone.

And thankfully, Solomon knew magic to clean it quicker.

579 notes · View notes

jjk-anime-horray · 4 years ago

Text

Mr. Steal your Girl

Suguru Getou x Reader

Summary: After Getou catches Gojo cheating on you, he finally becomes fed up with his bestfriend's bullshit. So, he does the mature thing, he goes and tell you what happened, and makes you his in the process.

Note: I had this thought in my mind forever, so I naturally write it down to preserve it. Please take this offering as my first unholy sacrifice to the Jujutsu Kaisen fandom. Please enjoy!

Warnings: This is NSFW! This is Smut! Please don't read it if you are uncomfortable with those things. Cheating (from Gojo), Sex, fluff, Reader is Female and or has Female anatomy , and Angst (Cross posted on my ao3).

When Suguru Getou, your boyfriend's best friend, and your good friend came knocking on your door after 8:00, you honestly didn't know what to expect. Was he injured? Your line of work was notorious for that. So, when you peered through your key hole to see his slender eyed face distraught, your first instinct is to open the door.

"Suguru what happened?" You say in a lower and mellow tone of your normal voice as to display concern. "Are you hurt?"

"No no, you got the wrong idea!" His black maned body lifted in his hand in a slight waving motion as a common action to calm someone down. "However, I have something to tell you. Can I come in?"

"Of course you're my friend, and I'm always here for you! Next time can you give me a little warning will ya?"

"Yeah, of course (Y/N)." He said while moving his body through your apartment's entrance, and swiftly plopping himself on your couch next to your body, already sitting there.

"Oh!" You say remembering something. "Do you want anything to drink or eat? I've got some left over pizza in the fridge if you want it! Hold on let me just go get it."

You quickly push your hands onto the cloth underneath you to lift your weight off of the couch, only to have your arm be weighted down gently by the man next to you.

"You don't need to get me anything (Y/N). Plus, I don't have an appetite right now anyway. Can you sit back down I really need to tell you this?"

He looked you dead in the eyes. Onyx eyes swirled with not their usual playfulness, but uncertainty and concern instead. Triggering you to sit back down on the fabric below you with the same feelings.

"What's wrong Suguru?"

"Well you see....." Words fell dry in his mouth. How was he supposed to tell you this without making you cry? He never wants to make you unhappy. He especially doesn't want you to cry because his friend is skank, and a piece of shit.

He looked over to you with sadness in his eyes, swirling in them with glassiness around the iris'. He thought about all of the times he looked to see you so happy with him, lips letting out gorgeous laughter, mouth curling into a beautiful smile, and your excitement burst at something with joy. But then his mind went to the blonde bouncing on Satoru's cock, moans leaving her mouth that were supposed to be coming out of yours for him. While she was pretty, she didn't nearly compare to you, and while she was sexy he couldn't even be slightly attracted at the thing bound to ruin your relationship. It angered him, enraged him, that his friend was stupid enough to hurt or give up something like you. However, his stupidity gave him a a direct chance to finally get what he wanted. I guess he could thank his dumb platinum blonde of a friend for that.

"Satoru is cheating on you."

"What?" You said, but you could hear him completely fine. It was out of disbelief.

"Look (Y/N), I'm really sorry. This probably isn't how you wanted to fine out. I just walked in on it, and I couldn't just not tell you when I was, you know.... there."

More and more consoling words spilt from his mouth in an effort to comfort you, but you cease to even register them as you started crying. Salty tears started to trickle from your eyes, and down your cheeks. You felt embarassed, jealous, and sad all at the same time. You knew of his past behavior, why did you expect anything to change?

"Wow, I'm an complete idiot."

"What (Y/N)?! Don't say shit like that! That's completely untrue. You're talented, funny, you-"

"Suguru, I knew of his past behaviors, I let my feelings ignore them, and I expected him to change. I'm a fool for that."

Why would you think he would change. Fuck, you gave your heart to the wrong person. You should have known! The trickle of droplets cascading down your face only started to grow even more. You didn't want to be crying in front of your friend. You didn't want to be crying at all! This was your fault for failing to see that people hardly change.

To Suguru it was heartbreaking to see you in a condition like this. If Gojou was anyone other than his best friend he would have beaten him to a pulp already.

"Hey, Suguru." You say, voice cracking as you tried to hold it together, and peaking your head up slightly from the position pressed into your knees.

"Yeah (Y/N)?"

"Could you give me a minute to cry this out, alone? I don't like you seeing me like this."

"Okay. I'll go into the other room, but I'm not leaving you completely alone when you're emotionally distressed."

"Thanks Guru'." You say as he left to go into the other room, away from your water works.

"Anything for you (Y/N)."

With him finally gone could finally let it all out, and truly just let yourself cry. Now, not having to worry about embarrassing yourself in front of your friend. Your eyes turned puffy the more you let out your pent up emotions. The same eyes turned redder the more you let out your anger because of the situation (through your tears). Red eyes turned your shirt wet, and completely soaked from the water streaming down your face. However, the more you let it out, the more you started to let it go. Yes it hurt, but no it wasn't something you couldn't recover from. Yes you were losing your friend, but no you weren't losing Suguru from this because he wouldn't be here right now if he was siding with Gojou. You hands drifted to your phone to text your best friend, Shoko, what happened.

Gojo cheated on me. Your fingers glided to press into the screen.

You waited fo couple of minutes, well only one, until a notification lit up your screen in response to your text.

You're kidding me

That son of a bitch, want me to murk him?

Do you need me to come over?

Multiple messages came bombarding in one go. You were glad to see that she was as pissed as you were. Making you halt your crying into snickering and laughter at your friend's eagerness.

No you don't need to come over

I know u r working, and Guru' is already here

He's the one who told be

Another light flashed onto your screen.

Okay, just tell me if you need anything

Luv you babes!

She never failed to make you smile, even if she was sneaking a smoke. In which that you hated.

Luv u too

"I heard laughter so I assumed if it was safe to come back in."

A certain man came around the corner with a glass of water and cloth his hands.

"Yeah you're right, Shoko is the best sometimes."

You felt a large weight lower half of the couch, coincidently lifting your eye level up to be more on par with a certain pair of slender ones.

"I brought you some water, crying drains a lot out of you, and I don't want you to get dehydrated."

"Thanks Guru, it means a lot."

You take the cup from his hand. Your fingers met with his fingers and the glass as you shifted the water from his to your hands. Then to lifting it to your lips you take a large gulp of it. Causing a little drop of water to dribble down your chin in the process of your refreshment.

As the water dripped down your chin you felt a thumb connect with your check, slowly making it's way down your skin to your lips and chin to imprison the that had escaped onto it's creases.

"Hey (Y/N) I have a damp cloth right here to help with the swelling of your eyes. Can you close them for a sec?"

"Sure."

With your eyes now closed you felt a cool presence over your eyes, but it did more than help the swelling in your eyes. It also calmed you down, but you knew it wasn't the cloth that was calming you down. It was the male pressing it gently into your face. And the one that gently removed it from your eyes when the right amount of time had passed.

Unveiling your eyes you look to Suguru who was currently placing the items he had gotten for you on to the table in front of the two of your.

"Guru' "

"Yeah (Y/N)?"

"Come here."

You said come here, but you didn't actually wait for him to move as you want to him first enveloping him in your grasp with a hug. Your head burying into his shoulders and chest.

"Thank you Suguru, for everything."

"No problem (Y/N), are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah I'm okay, I just wish I could forget about him."

"I could make you forget about him."

"What?"

"I said" Hot breath fanned across your ear, while you didn't know if it was the intimate position that the two of you were in, or it was the black haired man that was unbelievable gorgeous talking that sent shivers down your spine. "I could make you forget."

"Please (Y/N), let me make you forget." That last sentence was the last one needed to shift the mood completely. What was a light hearted one now turned heavy from the impending building lust that the two of you secretly shared for the longest time.

You felt hot lips trail down your neck, slow kisses dancing across the expanse of your skin down, only to quickly trail back up to your ear, and then your jaw. Wetness was placed right next to your lips, but not onto them.

Onyx eyes pierced into yours looking for a awnser. They swirled with want, desire, and love as they looked at your right in front of you. It was so intoxicating that you could help yourself from being completely lost in them.

"Suguru, please make me forget." You let out with a needy whine, wanting to get lost in his lips more than anything.

Then predatory orbs locking in on it's prey, and he pounced onto you locking you into a seering kiss as lips collided, and you were pinned under him.

His lips glued themselves to yours, hot, needy, and loving. They constantly alternated from hot, lustful, rushed kisses to slow, romantic, loving one that were offering you all he had to offer. You missed the feeling of them on you when he pulled away.

"You want to forget (Y/N)? I'll make you forget that that ungrateful bastard ever touched you, and that all you can think about it is my fat cock inside of you. You want that don't you?" Finishing his sentence he attached his slips to the sweat spot on you neck, causing you to silt your head, and grind your clothed sex onto the knee pinning you down to the couch.

"Please."

"Great, but lets get you undressed first, I want to see all of you when I ruin you. Strip for me, I bet you can do that angel can't you?" To allow you to put on a show for him he sat back onto the couch, staring at you with a ferocious hunger that was about to be fulfilled.

Obediently you sat yourself up onto the couch, and hooked your arms onto the bottom of your shirt to reveal your barren body with glorious feature to him.

"Fuck princess, no bra? Dirty girl~" He latched himself onto your breasts. Caressing, pinching, pulling with his right hand on one breast, and his mouth, sucking, teasing, and squeezing the other playful mound of flesh. He slowed his ruthless pace to speed in up then slow it down, again, again, and again. Alternating which breast got which part of his body, and it was driving you insane. And you couldn't help Letting out little whispers, whines, and groans as he did.

"Guru, stop teasing me please."

"I'll stop teasing you when you when I stop finding you amazing, because fuck I could play with you like this forever."

"Guru, please touch my cunt, please!" You said, letting out a whine, and bucking to his erection trapped in his sweats as you did so.

"Using dirty words I see. Princesses shouldn't talk like that darling, but who am I to not give pleasure to someone who's so honest about her needs. I'll give you what you want baby, lift your hips for me."

With no reason to reject his off you do was he says, allowing him to slip off your pants, and little white panties in one go. Giving him a full view of your glistening sex dripping with arousal from teasing. Begging to be touched as it pulsated.

"Wet already darling?"

You gasped airily, as you felt him insert a much need finger into your dying cunt. Finally giving your pussy the attention it it needed with big thick milky fingers.

"Fuck baby you're so tight, I'm going to have to prepare you to make sure I don't hurt you because I would hate to see that."

Speeding up his finger he forced for of it into your pussy lips stretching you out in the process. Pumping strongly with fingers curling up towards your womb he hit all of the right spots inside your walls as he added another finger. Causing you to squirm and wiggle under his grasp pleasing his eyes with the amazing sight.

Feeling bad that you were being given all of the attention, you slowly reach to try to touch him, only to have your wrist snatched up with his other free hand.

"Bad baby, shouldn't you know know not to touch people without their permission? Naughty."

He brought the soft curve of your hand up to his mouth to give it a tender kiss. Only for seconds later to bring into down to your clit, and forcefully guiding you hand to out pressure on the little sensitive flesh button causing as he move your hand to circle it.

This building burning pressure turned to be too much to handle as you felt a familiar sensation burn in your lower stomach as your body prepared itself to cum. Fluttering around his fingers in the process.

"Do you need to cum?" Suguru said while gazing his eyes into yours, speeding up his finger even more than you could imagine. Rending you speechless as you gave him a rapid nod in response.

"You have to use your words baby."

"Please Suguru, please let me cum!"

"Do it baby."

The sensation bursted through your lower body as you finally got the release you deserved. Suguru encased your lips into a lustful action as you whined into his mouth pouring slick all over his fingers.

Greedily while looking right at you he swirled his knuckles into his mouth a lapped your juices with delight, and a grin on his face pleased with his work.

He looked at you with a grin on his face, and a naughty twinkle in his eye that made you know what he was going to say next while slightly pulling down his sweat and boxers to reveal a juicy cock. Long, thick, trimmed, clean. Who new your Ex boyfriend's best friend was packing more than he was? I made you wiggle with anticipation. "I think you're ready baby for my cock, do you want it?"

"Yes please, fuck me now, in this pussy right here, I want to feel you so badly!"

"Someone's eager." He said letting out a heart chuckle. "Good thing you are because so am I."

Before you could even say anything he slipped you onto your stomach and slammed into you awaiting cunt all in one go. Affectively making you let out of scream.

"Suguru!" You let out with a yelp if pleasure, and surprise from the new invading stretch.

"Sorry I couldn't wait, fuck your so tight, if I had known I would have done this sooner."

He sunk himself fully into your pussy, then stalled waiting for your to adjust to the stretch of his member. Since you two were bearbacking he could feel every pulse of your pussy as it tried to accommodate his length. And he fucking loved.

Not being to contain himself any longer he pulled himself half way out, then slammed himself back in to see all of your fuck about expressions again and to hear you whine. God, he was going to get used to this.

Gripping your ass he made himself a slow but deep pace into your womenhood once again. He continued this again, and again, and again. Until he found himself speeding up and he drilled harder into your sex, loving he way he name founded when it was being screamed from your lips.

You found yourself having to try to control your breathing as to it not being completely blown away by the main raining to you from behind. His onslaught on your cunt made you abosulety breathless. You felt your pussy contracting the more you thought about the man pleasuring you, how did you not see all of him before this.

But your thoughts were ripped away as you felt a large hand grab your jaw forcing you to look up into predatory onyx eyes. The eye contact as he was hitting it from behind, having his balls pound into your clit, and your G-Spot throughly abused made you pussy quiver in anticipation of your release.

"(Y/N) are close to summing." He said. while completely continuing to fuck you without the slightest pause.

"Yes, umm hmm!" You say nodding as you still looked into his eyes, knowing his loved the contact.

"Fuck....." He said smirking at your wrecked form beneath him "Great." Then he took his hand off of your next to harshly rub your clit, causing you too spill your release over water than you. realized. Making you see white fuzz through the orgasm as he fucked you though it.

Now it was your turn to listen to his moans as seconds later he finished his thick cum on your ass as he flopped in exhaustion shortly after that onto his arms to entrap you under him into the couch cashing your breath.

Panting, Suguru flipped you over to sit you on his lap, curling your legs around his waist, sitting you up to face his intense gaze once again.

"I'm going to go clean you up okay." But just as he's about to lift the two fo you up you stop him momentarily.

"Suguru, will stay with me please?

"I thought that was a given, of course I'm staying, I'm going to run bath."

Placing a kiss on your forehead he brought you to your bathroom, and cleaned the two of you up. Slowly cleaning everything that may have been dirtied, caressing everything on your body, he held you in such a way that it just felt right to be like it.

And sure enough he was holding you in his arms in your sheets the next morning with no intentions of letting you go. Or letting you hear the door ring as his sorry ass of a bestfriend came to offer you an apology.

This was my first smut! How did I do you guys?

Part Two

#jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen smut #jjk smut #suguru getou #getou suguru x reader #getou smut #getou suguru #gojo satoru x reader #gojou satoru x reader #jjk shoko ieiri #shoko ieiri #shoko ieiri x reader

586 notes · View notes