#a lot of families have been contacting me so this is only a fraction but i hope this helps ☹️💗

[saturngalore]

palestinian fundraiser campaigns 💗

this is a list of some vetted palestinian fundraisers of different families and people that have reached out to me to share/reshare! i hope to rotate these campaigns out once they have reached their ultimate goal, add new ones, and so forth. i do not and can not verify fundraisers!!! please take note of the currency conversion rates as well and donate accordingly!!!!

‼️ VERY LOW | ⚠️ ALMOST COMPLETED | ✅ GOAL REACHED |

last updated: november 24, 2024

💗 Marah’s family | vetted here | gofundme here | currently at £545 out of 20k ‼️

💗 Amal and Mohammad’s family | vetted here | gofundme here | currently at €42,318 out of 80k ⚠️

💗 Alaa’s family | vetted here as #99 | gofundme here | currently at £30,287 out of 56k ⚠️** moving slowly!

💗 Hala’s family | vetted here | gofundme here | currently at $3,267 out of 35k ‼️

💗 Mahmoud’s family | vetted here | gofundme here | currently at $10,068 out of 25k ⚠️** moving slowly!

💗 Saleh’s family | vetted here as #248 | gofundme here | currently at €658 out of 30k ‼️** moving slowly!

💗 Sahar’s family | vetted here | gofundme here | currently at €840 out of 50k ‼️

💗 Lara’s family | vetted here as #241 | chuffed fund here | currently at €1,294 out of 20k ‼️

💗 Amal’s family | vetted here | gofundme here | currently at $7,995 out of $30k ‼️

💗 Hazem’s family | vetted here as #282 | gofundme here | currently at €205 out 30k ‼️‼️‼️

💗 Dina and Ahmed’s family | vetted here | gofundme here | currently at €80,093 out of 100k ⚠️

💗 Jalal’s family | vetted here as #204 | gofundme here | currently at €1,321 out of 25k ‼️

💗 Nesma’s family | vetted here | gofundme here | currently at $149,870 out of 170k ⚠️

💗 Karim’s family | vetted here | gofundme here | currently at $5,502 out of 40k ‼️* moving slowly

💗 Ali and Hadeel’s family | vetted here as #216 | gofundme here | currently at €2,573 out of 70k ‼️

💗 Ahmad’s family | vetted here as #167 | gofundme here | currently at $1,567 out of 20k ‼️

[amphitriteswife]

Savior

Source: lookism chapter 526

Pairing: child Jonggun x Child reader

Warnings: forced child marriage, bad home situation.

Genre: angst

Note: sorry that it’s so long😭 and i might make a pt2

Do not read if you’re uncomfortable with any of these themes

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‘Hi. We’re engaged by the way.’ Meeting you for the first time was quite the experience. Jonggun himself often found himself thinking as to why he was engaged in the first place, and why it was with you. Most of the time you didn’t have any filter and simply only did things for your own amusement, he had never been to your estate before in northern Japan. At first he thought you were annoying and sassy, but over time you became the only person to actually reach out to spent time for him. Not because he needed to do something but simply because you wanted to see him. Jonggun found himself enjoying your company, in a way you reminded him of Haruto. He felt like he could say anything without getting punished for it. With you he could feel a sense of freedom, even if it was just a little. You had been wanting to reach out or pay a visit after it had been revealed that some of the smaller clans had been wanting to overthrow Shingen, but Jonggun jad advised you to stay put for a while and wait until he reached out first. So you had been waiting..and waiting…

‘They want to kill me.’ You had waited for a signal from Jonggun, but seeing him in a state of panic and desperation wasn’t something you’d thought you’ll see. ‘What are you talking about?’ You asked him, trying to move your way out of the guards grasp. ‘My lady, if they find out you’re even in contact with the young master you’ll be in danger too! The headmaster has given us orders to not let you get through.’ The news of Shingen passed away as the headmaster of the Yamazaki clan was big news, even reaching the streets of northern Japan, but even so. What did the death of Shingen have to do with them trying to kill Jonggun? And to add up to the problem, the fact you were now in contact with Jonggun brought your own clan in danger. There was a lot at stake in this situation, and the Yamazaki’s are fast. Who knows when they find out that Jonggun had been in contact with you? You’d probably be one of their high suspects too. You couldn’t help but contemplate the situation carefully, your eyes casting downwards onto the floor. The best course of action was to cut ties with him, it was the best and effective way in order to protect your family…but what about him? He never had someone to fall back into, he just lose his father who had shown him just a fraction of love he winked so hard for, his mom is now with his uncle and they’re trying you get rid of him… ‘buy me some time.’ You told the guards sternly, it was against the wishes of your own father.. someone who sold you to the Yamazaki clan in the first place to clean up his own went doings against them in the past. Both guards hesitate for a moment they weren’t exactly keen on letting you put yourself and the family in danger, but at the same time it was no surprise of you felt for the young master. Well…the now dethroned young master.

Finally the two guards let you go. Only with the promise to not do anything reckless and not be out too long as the headmaster would get suspicious. Taking Jonggun’s hand you let him to a secret part of the garden, one where the camera’s couldn’t quite catch you yet. Jonggun followed you closely, his eyes looking to the grass. It had been a long time since he smelled the scent of fresh grass and plants, it took him a long way to come here all the way to the estate. Yet he couldn’t help but feel selfish. He was putting you in danger. He didn’t want that, he didn’t want you to suffer because of him. He hated making you feel like this, but ultimately he also hated the fact he was the one to cause this in the first place. ‘Tell me everything.’ You whispered to him, the newspaper only revealed the ‘passing’ of Shingen and nothing else, not why Jonggun is on the run. Jonggun hesitated a lot, but eventually spilled everything to you, how his dad passed and the fact that Shintaro was now the headmaster…as well that his dad seemed to care about him after all. From the way he spoke it was clear that his head wasn’t used to parental love and couldn’t understand why Shingen tried to save him instead of himself. It disheartened you to realize the fact how he hasn’t felt love ever since he was brought into this world, the concept of love itself seemed foreign to him. After hearing all of the things that happend you hugged him very tightly, your arms wrapped around his torso that was clothed with a hoodie. He never wore hoodies before not matter how cold it got. ‘I’ll help you okay? Try not to get caught, i’ll find sometimes. I promise.’ You told him, hugging him even tighter. Jonggun seemed se be stunned by the hug and didn’t really hug you back. Only after a little while did his arms droop over your form and did he lay his head on your shoulder. ‘Please don’t go..’ it was a soft and rather pleading sound, never in a million years did you expect him to utter such words much less in such a tone. ‘I’m not going to abandon you, don’t worry-’ ‘Miss! The headmaster is searching for you!’ The moment was cut off by the whisper like yelling from the guards. Eager to make sure no one got in trouble you gave Jonggun a quick kiss on his cheek, his cheek was cold and a little wet from the watered plants. He put a hand on his cheek where you kissed him and looked at you. ‘I’ll be back.’ You gave him a quick nod before quickly coming out of the bushes to ease the situation…yet when you returned, Jonggun had vanished from where the two of you had met earlier

It took you quite the convincing each time of your father to actually let you go outside since the Yamazaki’s had actually reinforced their watchful eyes on you. During one of the times you once again roamed the streets of the underworld the smell of smoke filled your nostrils. Was this what Jonggun saw before he arrived at your estate? This wasn’t living. The amount of teenagers here was surprising but you couldn’t help but think that most have their reasons for being here or turning to this kind of lifestyle. After having searched the area where Jonggun was supposedly to help last seen you let out a sigh and turned to walk back where you originally came from, only to hear the faint familiar voice of someone. ‘Are you searching for my son?’ Somi park questioned you, her voice was flat and stern, no emotions regarding the situation for her son or you…or herself. Her eyes didn’t hold any emotion nor light in them either. You didn’t answer her and instead brazed yourself of the possibility of the man next to her doing something to you. ‘He’s not here.’ The man beside her told you, lighting up a cigarette placed in between his teeth. ‘But if you’re fast enough, you might just find him in time when you arrive in Korea.’ So he went to Korea?..you felt a mix of emotions. You were glad that he was finally going to be save and able to start again. But at the same time…you never got to say goodbye. He didn’t even tell you that he was leaving the country….you would’ve gone with him if he asked you, no hesitation. One could argue that you the both of you didn’t have anything to lose but that was simply not true. Perhaps he didn’t. But for you everything was at stake…because he was your everything…

Thank you for reading 😔🙏

[drabblesandimagines]

could i request something with leon and a reader with lots and lots of energy? like i imagine reader jumping around the house for some reason and leon trying to keep up with that energy. that would be so cute idk 😩

Okay, I must apologise because I fear this went waaaay off topic, but I immediately thought of nervous energy and this fluffy bit came out. I hope you still enjoy it - please let me know!

--

Leon Kennedy x female reader, established relationship

Leon smiles as you finally perch down on the edge of the sofa besides him, moving to slip his arm around your shoulders and pull you in for a cuddle – loves it when you nuzzle into his chest - only for you to get to your feet once more, walking over to the opposite sofa to straighten up the cushions.

You’ve had non-stop energy all day and, thinking back on it, he swears you’d even ate breakfast and lunch without sitting down once. It started with you being out of bed before him, usually an impossible task with his internal 6am alarm clock. He’d often left you tucked up in bed after a kiss on the forehead before he went for his morning run, knowing full well you still wouldn’t be awake on his return.

He’d be a liar though if he didn’t admit that he was still recovering from the Alcatraz incident – some of those bruises were still healing, making him groan like an old man sometimes if he’d sat in one position too long. More recently, and aided by a period of leave from the DSO, he’d been enjoying the lazier starts you were now getting to share, waking up only enough to nuzzle his face into your neck, a few soft kisses here and there, and spooning you into the mid-morning.

No such treat that morning, though. By the time he’d lugged himself down the stairs, you’d mopped the kitchen floor and been to the grocery store whilst it dried.

“What can I do, sweetheart?”

“I’m good, thanks. All under control.” You beam, multitasking up a storm in front of him. You poured him a cup of coffee from the machine and turned back to the stove where you were somehow already cooking him breakfast, a cake was baking away in the oven, all whilst mentioning something about how you were holding off on vacuuming until he was awake. He's a bit in awe at your energy levels today – though it was true he had a few years older than you, he didn’t think it was to this much of an extent. Next, you’d vacuumed all of the rooms, shaking your head at his offer to do them, thinking you were just being a little too particular on the way you liked them done, and when you washed the windows, dusted the surfaces, cleaned the bathroom… But as 5pm rolled closer, he finally realizes what it is, cursing himself internally.

“Sweetheart…” he trails off as you decide the cushion needs a little more fluffing up, now bashing it against your thighs into submission.

“Uh-huh?”

“What’s the matter?”

“Nothing. Just, you know, finessing.” You place the cushion down, eyes scanning the rest of the living room. Did you miss that dust on the entertainment console? You were sure you’d ran that fluffy duster everywhere. It’s fine, there’s cloth dusters under the sink – maybe that would be better – and whilst you’re in the kitchen, you should definitely double-check the ice drawer again, just to make sure you definitely have enough ice…

As you head towards the kitchen, you stop a moment and adjust the bowl of tortilla chips by a fraction of an inch. It’s Leon’s birthday celebration, so you’ve laid out your best snack spread, including two huge bowls of homemade guacamole – a family recipe that has never not once been a hit when you’ve rolled it out – but now you’re not sure it’s enough.  It’s not Leon’s actual birthday either as he never wants a fuss, no balloons and definitely no banners – reminds him too much of his evening at the RPD HQ - but after Alcatraz, Chris, Jill, Claire, Rebecca and he had stayed in regular contact and somehow what was going to be beers at a bar had escalated into a little gathering at his to celebrate his birthday… and for them to meet you.

Leon has other ideas as you head towards the kitchen and your mind’s too focused to see him poised as you go to walk past. He grabs hold of your wrist and suddenly you find yourself on his lap after a firm and gentle tug, his other arm now wrapped tightly around your waist and keeping you in place.

“You’re nervous.”

“I’m not.” So what if your leg is bouncing up and down on the spot? He lets go of your wrist then, places his palm flat on your thigh and stills it.

 “Liar. You’ve been on the go since dawn – I’m tired just watching you.”

“Fine, maybe I’m a little nervous.” You relent – could never resist those blue eyes of his. “You’ve never invited friends round here before, let alone had a birthday party and I want everything to be perfect.”

He smiles – the one you know that precedes a corny line. “It is already perfect because you’re here.”

You roll your eyes.

“Seriously – they’ll like you, I promise.”

“How can you be so sure?” You’ve heard of them from his stories – little snippets he’ll share from his work. They’re all so strong, and brave, and clever…

“Because I love you.”

You still go weak at that knees when he tells you those words – he sounds as sincere as the first time he said it. You lean forward then, kissing him deeply. His hand rubs up and down your back as you do, making all the anxious thoughts stop for a moment as you focus on him and his touch alone.

You pull back after a moment and take in his soft, lovestruck expression, placing a hand on his cheek.

 “I still think I should make another bowl of guacamole, though. Just in case.”

“You’ve already made two huge servings, sweetheart - we’re good.”

And, when Chris takes another heaving scoop of it atop his tortilla chip later that evening, it’s Leon’s turn to relent.

--

Masterlist . Requests welcome . Commissions/Ko-Fi

[honourablejester]

Thought for a Ancient Gnomish Divination Wizard

I wanted an incredibly ancient gnome granny. BUT. I wanted an incredibly ancient gnome granny who has only started learning magic in the last decade or so, because she was bored out of her tree in semi-enforced retirement and decided learning to be a wizard would be a great, non physically demanding hobby in her elder years. Because you see an ancient wizard, you expect an archmage, someone who’s been wizarding their whole long life, but you can start learning magic at any age. So I wanted a granny who’s level 1, because this was just her hobby she started this last little while.

I also specifically wanted her to be learning magic via correspondence course. By letter. Because she’s not going to get up and toddle off to some strange new city and sit in classes with all these kids a literal fraction of her age. She’s not able for that. So she found a (potentially dodgy) old wizard willing to teach magic by letter, and set up a correspondence with them.

And then. While these thoughts were percolating. I love the gnomish massive extended family thing, I love the idea of a four-hundred year old gnome matriarch. But I was thinking what her background would be. What she’d spent those four hundred years doing. What her massive extended family was likely still doing. And I thought.

What if they’re a massive crime family. What if her background is criminal?

Because. In Ireland there’s this thing called the mammy mafia, which is the cultural idea of the small-town coalition of grannies who know everybody’s goddamn move, on account of all the ‘little birds’ that told them. And. Make that a literal mafia, or at least a literal criminal clan. And this horrific old biddy at the root of it. She’s four hundred and something years old, thrice widowed (once by her own hand), with an absolutely ridiculous number of cousins and descendants and assorted relatives who stayed in the family business. Her criminal contact is that one grand nephew who knows how to get in touch with everyone in the family, and who’s friendly enough with gran to pass her ‘suggestions’ along.

Because. See. She’s ancient. She hasn’t been a direct part of the business in decades. Not all the family are willing to listen to the old biddy. But she still has enough of a spider’s reach to make life difficult for a lot of people. Especially since her specialty, back in the day, was blackmail. And that much she’s only gotten better at. A word in the right ear does wonders, even when you’re about as physically lively as a four day old corpse.

Which is why her school will be divination. Because she’s a nosy old biddy.

And. She’s also lonely. She wanted someone to talk to who wasn’t one of those innumerable relatives who are all, aside from her favourite grand nephew, varying states of fed up with her, the family’s moved on, gran, it’s not your day anymore, let me run my murder-and-blackmail ring my way, I’ve only been doing it for two centuries at this stage! So. So she decided to learn magic, and she found some perhaps financially struggling hedge wizard, and she’s spent the past decade or so exchanging incredibly vicious and snarky letters with someone who is a genuine wizard, and who does have opinions on the correct way to learn/do magic, but is stuck in a circumstance where he’s teaching some ancient harridan by correspondence course to make ends meet. And she’s become sort of genuinely fond of him. She’s never met the young man in her life (though naturally she’s had some great-great-grand-whatevers spy on him and steal all his information, just for safety’s sake), but their letters have become sort-of-friendly in between arguments and increasingly exasperated ‘lessons’, and she’s just become a bit fond of him.

Which makes it both a) inconvenient and b) worrying that he’s recently stopped responding to her letters. Or any letters. And her familial spy network can’t find any trace of him anymore. He’s up and vanished, and possibly in the wizard way, or possibly in the buried in a shallow grave way, and she’s deeply upset about it.

Upset enough to actually get up and go out and find out what the hell happened to him. Herself. In person. Because she may be only a starter wizard, and she may be an irrelevant old biddy so ancient that her bad shoulder and bad knees and bad lungs won’t let her murder people the good old fashioned away anymore, but she has four hundred years of evil experience of the world, and nobody gets to ‘disappear’ a friend of hers and get away with it.

And if it’s his own magical idiocy that’s done this, then she’s gonna find him, dig him out of it, and laugh in his face about it while saying ‘I told you so’. Because that’s what friendship means for wizards, right? And ancient old harridans.

(Some mechanical character notes:

Is it blasphemy to have a wizard who isn’t proficient in arcana? Because I feel like four hundred years of criminal and blackmail experience will incline her more towards insight and investigation. And, well. This is a hobby to her, that only got serious when her teacher slash pen pal slash best friend went missing. I think I want her to pick up the Observant feat as well at some point.

For her subrace, I’m going deep gnome, because they’re stealthier. So imagine this vast, occasionally genial clan of greyish gnomes who are involved in the criminal underworlds of like half the continent.

I did debate both illusion and scribes for her subclass, but, well. She’s a nosy old biddy, so divination. I think there’ll be a healthy amount of practical spells among her actual arsenal, though, good old Knock and Misty Step and Invisibility, because she’s not ideological about her school, she just likes having tools, and blackmailer instincts die hard.

She will also have Find Familiar. Purely so she can have a literal ‘little bird’ spy. The preferred form would actually be like a sparrow or a house martin or equivalent, a ubiquitous small urban bird, but maybe I could reskin a raven for it?)

I just wanted an evil old biddy who picked up magic as a hobby in her twilight years, and then had a reason to go out and about with it. You know?

[crimsonlyinglilly]

Day 10 “Can you hear me?”                           

| Fear | Smoke | Phone Call |

Day 10 @juneofdoom

Wasn't the planned fill for this but it fit, a return to Stolen Three and Henrik deals with betrayal.

In partial thanks to @isobel-seyms2311 who reminded me of this, Cage Founder's version of this may be a long way off but take this as a hold over.

Bad end for most the Mystic Falls gang as Henrik reminds them for all he looks fourteen he's a thousand years old and has the strength, speed and power of it.

Warning for Character deaths; Jeremy, Elena and Stefan.

Set during TVD Season 4 Episode 12

-----

Henrik returns to life choking and feeling hollowed out, they explain in stumbling apologies it had to be done, it was for the cure, it was the quickest way.

He has always been the closest to those he sired, whether it was from the guilt of turning and using Tristan, no matter how much the older man told him he had forgiven him, that he was impressed, or something else.

Since Kol’s death in the mess that was mother returning to kill them had shown their continued connection to their sireline, Henrik had gone looking for the feeling within them.

So he can still feel his sireline, he can feel how it’s decimated a fraction of what it once was.

He’s next to Elena before they see him move, a fresh hunter and baby vampire didn’t stand a chance if he hadn’t trusted them.

Like his friends, those he sired had trusted him and he let them down.

Elena doesn’t have the chance to register him as a threat as he turns her to face him and compels her, plucking the bespelled white oak stake from her hand.

“Tear Jeremy Gilbert's head off right now.”

She’s not as fast as him but the idea of defending himself from his sister is unthinkable enough to delay him.

Jeremy Gilbert dies quickly, Henrik does the merciful thing and kills Elena before she realises what she had done leaving him facing the Bennet witch and the blonde Klaus fancied. 

Bonnie and Caroline, they had introduced last year following Elena and insisting they were friends and could trust each other and he had believed them like the stupid child he was stuck as.

Forgiving them when they tried to kill Klaus, got father killed while trying that and later killed Kol while almost killing all of them.

The witch started chanting, Henrik had learned during his centuries, he was commonly a target for witching thinking he could be used against Klaus, for all he looked like a preteen, he had lived centuries.

In a burst of mist, he reappeared behind Caroline pushing his hand through her rib to grasp her heart.

“Stop or you lose another friend.” He orders,

The chanting stopped.

“I don’t want to kill anyone else.” It's a offer, that part of him doesn't want to give but killing them would take time and he wanted to check, find out how many of those he had taken solace in during the last nearly a century he was apart from Klaus and his siblings.

“They were my friends.” the witch choked out, he let Caroline take a step as the girl threw herself infront of her remaining friend.

“So were are my sire line. I only turn the people I trust, people I want in my life for the centuries to come. How many contacts on my phone are dead?” 

The thought almost chokes him but he swallows back grief and focus on the betrayal, burning outrage over drowning pain.

“Why do your friends and lives mean more than mine?” he asked, watching as they flinched.

“This is over if any of you come for vengeance, I will tell those grieving those of my sireline and Kol’s where their deaths came from.”

Both looked at him with slowly growing realisation, he smiled, it was cold and empty, not that of a fourteen year old boy. “And they will descend and wipe this town off the map after turning it into a horror.”

“Damon-” Bonnie started,

“You can’t protect him,” he told her.

Damon loved fiercely and would hunger for vengeance in a useless attempt to cover the pain, he was a lot like Henrik’s family like that “but I won't blame you or the town if he attacks.”

He leaves before any more words were spoken and ignored the sobs that followed him out.

-—

Klaus smells blood before he gets to the Gilbert house, he had realised what their plan was too late, and the idea of losing another little brother to this town made him sick. By the time he gets in sight of it he meets Henrik walking in the street staring at his phone in a daze.

“Henrik” he called lightly as he reached out, “Can you hear me?” 

“They tried to call me when it happened.” Henrik explained his tone disturbingly empty as he lifted the the phone to show and Klaus was more than a little lost, his brother was alive they couldn’t have killed him, but there on his brother’s phone dozens of missed calls all the same time.

“What happened?” he asked

“They didn’t want to kill me because we were friends” his brother sneered at the last word, “but everyone else” he choked and Klaus looked around before scooping him up as he had centuries ago, before Henrik started insisting on treating him as an adult, like Kol. 

Klaus hadn’t pointed out the only reason he stopped doing that to Kol was because their lanky brother had become too much for him to manage.

Henrik managed to hold his tears until Klaus placed him on his bed before he curled around his phone. Klaus left the room when Henrik shook off his hands.

Instead he sat outside as Henrik started going through his phone contacts looking for survivors.

—-

Rebekah watched Stefan as he answered the phone, his words circling her brain along with a never ending scream, they were planning to kill Henrik, her littlest brother, the baby of the family, to use his sireline’s death to fill the map.

She knew how much his friends mattered, those he trusted his blood too, the people who saw him as more than the immortal child, and they were going to take that from him, people he trusted.

She had hated Elena for stabbing her in the back but had trusted her with Henrik, seen the way she looked at Jeremy, surely she had to understand how important Henrik was. His near death had almost broken their family, had made their parents change them into monsters, he was the one who had spent centuries pulling them back from bloodbath after bloodbath, whose smile no matter how much it had dimmed since their life always managed to brighten their days.

The cure wasn’t worth the last of all their innocence.

If they managed it, they would dim his smile even more she was going to burn this whole town down, she should have after Kol.

“I’m going to kill him.” Stefan snarled into the phone to bring her from her thoughts and Rebekah didn’t need to ask to know who he was talking about it. Whatever flickering embers of attraction for him vanished as she realised how much he meant it.

Stefan puts up a fight but against an Original without any restraint, he was still a two hundred year old vampire without a white oak or dagger.

He dies.

She watched with annoyance as she realised she would need to kill Damon too. Perhaps she could outsource that to Klaus and just take Henrik away from this place.

By the time she gets home to find Klaus sitting outside the room, he doesn’t speak as he looks her over, Stefan had managed to ruin her clothes before she put him down, and she slides down the wall next to him. 

Their silence as they listen to Henrik break on the other side of the wall.

–

One just one of you

Another rings off, he ignores the way his hand shake and moves to the next contact

someone answer please, just one

Heya it’s Mitsy, leave a message and i’ll get back to you.

Someone please

The person your calling cannot pick up right now, leave a message

Just one.

“Hello?” a voice pick up of the third ring and he jumps

“Nate?” he asks, even when part of him knows the voice is wrong, hope is an insidious painful thing that grows even when you know better.

“No i’m sorry i think there was some kind of accident there loading up a body-” he hang up and moves down.

Another one he thinks the next one will answer.

It rings and he waits and hopes.

[fromtheseventhhell]

I don't want to imply only Arya antis think she'll go to the Riverlands first lol I'm pretty sure us Arya stans came up with the theory she'll reunite with Lady Stoneheart and give her the gift of mercy in the first place. Unfortunately though there are a lot of people whose speculation for Arya starts and ends at her killing people and disappearing off the face of the earth or realizing "revenge is bad" and then doing absolutely nothing afterwards. Though one thing I've seen very common with Arya antis is the idea that she'll effectually never reunite with any of her family members or identify as Arya going forward, either staying in the shadows or dying nameless or faceless without anyone recognizing her. That's a bit that worries me somewhat with her returning to the Riverlands first thing. Most Arya fans do expect her to be crowned by Lady Stoneheart and lead the BWB and Nymeria's pack up north but a lot of speculation from non-Arya fans ends up similar to Arya's reunion with Sansa and Bran in season 7; out of the loop, out of place, her journey treated as boring compared to the others, underwhelming reunions, conveniently out of the picture long enough so she can't ruin relationships that otherwise wouldn't happen with her present, secondary to Sansa.

One thing I think gets overlooked is how close Braavos is to Westeros. I've seen a lot of people act like Sansa in the Vale is a hop, skip, and a jump away from the Wall while treating Braavos like it's as far away as Meereen but they're actually about the same distance away. Braavos does appear to be perfectly placed if his original intent was for Arya to end up somewhere in the North, whether at the Wall, White Harbor, or even Hardhome.

But mostly I reject the idea that Arya will end up secondary to her brothers if she goes North. I have faith in GRRM loving Arya too much to ever treat her the way the show did in seasons 7 and 8. I think she has a role to play in the North considering how much of the Northern plots in ADWD are tied together with the "Arya"-Ramsay marriage and Jeyne. Stansas ASOIAF fans really believe that Jeyne will have absolutely no intersection with the person she's impersonating despite GRRM spelling it out that she's almost guaranteed to sail to Braavos for safety. It makes absolutely no sense to believe Jeyne would go to Braavos and never even encounter Arya. We also know GRRM intended for the Stark direwolves to go against Ramsay's hounds at some point in the future of which there's about nine named ones so far. Sounds like Ramsay will find out what wolves to do dogs ;) That may be enough to overwhelm Ghost or Shaggydog even if together but even a fraction of Nymeria's pack going north with her could handle them. I also refuse to believe Lady Stoneheart will die again before encountering a resurrected Jon. There's been rumors she and her men have been seen disappearing into the Neck which did lead to in book speculation the BWB has some contact with the Crannogmen. Arya can also be a bridge between Bran and Jon if GRRM keeps the estrangement between them.

And I really want Roose to find out he was in fact careless with a prize of great worth by not realizing he had the real Arya Stark under his nose in Harrenhal as his cupbearer lol. It'd be a shame if he died before finding out. But I do agree that she could go to either location and GRRM could make it work. I seem to remember jokes about GRRM being stuck because there are too many locations he wants her to be in lol.

I didn't think you were implying that, I just wanted to clarify that there were valid reasons for her heading to the riverlands and that I agree that some people only theorize that because they view the North as the most important location so they ignore her connections to it. I agree with a lot of your points and it's very frustrating that Arya's arc gets reduced so much because people refuse to see her as an important character. A majority of the theories surrounding her are the barest bones and people only expect her to leave the faceless men, kill [x] character, and then fuck off in a boat while her siblings (i.e. Sansa) carry the bulk of the Northern plot. The reality is that Arya's arc is difficult to predict because she has so many plot setups. There is an entire arc in Braavos waiting to play out, she has connections to the Northern plot, and she has plenty to do in the Riverlands. Arya is one of George's favorite characters and he's spent a lot of time developing her for a reason, so safe to say that whatever route he ends up taking it's going to be well-written and respectful to her character.

[bnuunydoll]

The Tears of Time: A Look at the Gaza-C and Axis Zeon

The smothering silence of space has been shattered for ages. In the Universal Century, the cacophony of war is a constant that ensures the vast emptiness surrounding Earth will never be calm.

In the Year 0087, yet another war is being waged. A lone assault carrier called the "Argama" drifts through the abyssal darkness of space toward an asteroid belt. After fighting battle after battle against the rival Titans, the crew of the Argama are hoping to make contact with the newly introduced Axis Zeon so they can form an alliance. Despite much dispute among the crewmates for aligning with a group that has a history of bloodshed and opposing ideology, those in command steer the vessel further in hopes of making contact.

Much like opening Pandora's Box, the crew is met with a swarm of emotions as they get closer; Only made worse by the swarm of pink mobile suits. Fitted with gleaming mono-eye cameras that fix their emerald optics toward the carrier, these suits called the "Gaza-C", are the first introduction to Axis Zeon. I believe they reveal a myriad of interesting things about the group based on their design and presence in the story that this post will try to explain.

Hello there! ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡

I haven't written anything in...an embarrassingly long time, but over the last few months I've been indulging myself in Mobile Suit Gundam. From the original '79 series through Gundam ZZ and Char's Counter Attack, I've been fully submerged in the space opera drama, politics, and cool robots. While the nearly 150 episodes of classic mecha anime have definitely given me a lot to think about, I haven't felt comfortable or well read enough to fully approach any of the topics the series deals with; At least until now. The Gaza-C is a mobile suit that I find extremely fascinating, so please bare with me for however long this text ends up being so I can explain my infatuation with this flamboyantly colored mech.

Firstly, a warning for the uninitiated. I'll be discussing the Gaza-C, and by extension, Axis Zeon; Both of these are elements that appear in the later half of Mobile Suit Zeta Gundam and are prominently featured throughout the entirety of ZZ Gundam. Expect spoilers for both! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝

How Did We Get Here?

Before the Gaza-C can be properly savored, I believe a spoonful of context and a dash of history are needed to bring out the best qualities of this particular mobile suit.

After the One Year War depicted in the original Mobile Suit Gundam, The Principality of Zeon was completely and utterly broken. Those that remained came together on a small mining base called Axis and declared it their new home, but it was a mere shadow of what used to be. Axis Zeon would struggle to have resources and even survive properly, and those who lived there were in constant fear that the Earth Federation would one day wipe them off the map. While they were able to keep functioning and even replicate a life similar to the Earth Colonies, they would only have a fraction of the military power and technology that Zeon once did.

Haman Karn is a woman that would have grown up under this threat, and the struggle to survive mixed with paranoia and abandonment from characters like Char Aznable would lead her to becoming the radicalized tyrant set on wrenching every shred of power she can out of Axis in order to assert her Zeonic beliefs and prove her strength.

She's killed a lot of people, but she was slaying while she did it.

A Ghost of Zeon's Lingering Past

When Char departs from the Argama and meets her for the first time in years he refers to Haman as, "The Ghost of Zeon." Much to Char's horror, it's revealed that she's been protecting and raising Mineva Zabi; A young woman that is said to be the last carrier of Zeon's royal blood. Unfortunately this tutelage also meant she was taught much of the regal and selfish beliefs of the old Zabi family; The same people that were responsible for the corruption of Zeon.

I quite like the title of Ghost, because it implies this sort of belief of something that should be gone but still clings to the world. The terrible ideology of the Zabi family is something Haman clings to and wants to force on others, and this ideology encourages her to see people as nothing but tools and actors for her own personal goals. With Haman and the context of Axis Zeon in mind, we can finally get to the Gaza-C proper; A suit that manages to symbolically represent these different aspects of the faction.

The Zabi family are low-key boomers, for real-for real.

It All Culminates In The Gaza-C

Many of the mobile suits used before this point typically have a humanoid design, especially the other mass produced suits like Zeon's Zaku and The Earth Federation's GM units from the original series. Those specific suits call back to soldiers from historic wars, and fit in perfectly as a depiction of this new type of warfare.

Axis Zeon's Gaza-C units don't share this trait despite having a similar purpose. A rifle juts out from the torso of the suit, with thick tubes connecting it to the main body. The "head" (if that's even a good word for it) is fitted with a singular eye that's reminiscent of a scope. The Gaza may have arms and legs like the other suits, but the structure of feet, head, chest, and the various exposed tubes seen throughout the suit give it a much more inhuman vibe than other suits seen up until this point. If anything, the Gaza-C feel like they're on life support. The mix of purples and pinks brings to mind organs and body parts, with the various tubes keeping the struggling things alive. Struggling would be a key word, as these suits are made from salvaged parts and quickly mass produced.

One of these things is not like the others...

Every mobile suit in the series is a weapon for war and destruction, but the inhuman Gaza units feel much more distinctly like weapons. The alt modes the units can change to support this further: A bipedal turret, and a more compact flight mode. Featured prominently in every mode is a very distinct rifle that is permanently attached to the suit. Taken together, it delivers a clear message; These suits exist exclusively to be used as a weapon without any form of humanity.

Our first encounter with these suits definitely displays this feature, where they're seen showering a Titan mobile suit with a rain of beam rifle shots. While the initial scene shows an impressive number of Gaza units to begin with, a quick pan out shows that the Argama is surrounded by them. Like flies, they jet around and peer into the glass of the vessel, making sure that the crew is fully aware of their presence.

The initial scene depicting them is off putting, and it definitely gives this feeling that Axis Zeon should be feared. But, I used the word flies for a reason. Much like those insects, the Gaza-C are rarely shown to be worth concern even in high numbers. Their introduction depicted a team of them taking shots at an enemy mobile suit, but the damage seemed negligible. While the suit did flee due to orders, it was less out of concern for their safety and more of a strategic decision.

I, personally, would be a little more concerned if a large mech stared at my viewport.

Even with that kind of pathetic opening display aside, the suits are commonly shot down without much trouble as well. While there certainly are a large number of them, the actual threat they pose seems minimal...and it definitely seems like the Argama crew feel the same way. Comparing them to what the AEUG's Argama carrier or Titan vessels have at their disposal feels sadistic, since suits like the Zeta Gundam (and ZZ Gundam later on) or The O are practically walking fortresses that are more then capable of wiping out a Gaza fleet on their own.

Ultimately, I think the Gaza-C are mass produced, barely cobbled together units produced en masse purely to give the façade of power; Something that would make sense for Axis Zeon current situation. Haman Karn would want to be taken seriously as a threat, and meeting her competition with a full army of suits definitely leaves a strong impression.

Fragile Beliefs and Even Weaker Armor

Turning things into an army of emotionless, disposable, weapons wouldn't be something Haman is a stranger to either. During the events of ZZ Gundam, the Neo Zeon forces led by Haman are filled out with an assortment of lighthearted characters with quirks and personality. However, many of these characters end up being reprogrammed as Cyber New types and lose bits of themselves in the process; They become less human for the sake of acting like a better weapon for Haman's personal use.

Not only did they rob his personality, but his drip too.

Despite how devoted to Zeonic ideals Haman and members of Axis and Neo Zeon might seem, I believe this devotion is extremely flimsy. Many high ranking members of Neo Zeon seem far more interested in appealing to Haman herself as opposed to any pride or devotion for their faction. The Princess that is meant to be the lynchpin of their whole faction is revealed to have disappeared before the events of ZZ Gundam, and...no one actually seems to mind this that much. Haman herself doesn't seem to want to restore the Zabi family to power either and even seems to be convinced that she was wrong for even trying; This leads to her taking her life during the finale of ZZ Gundam. These fragile beliefs seem to be perfectly represented by the fragile Gaza-C, which is completely eliminated by single blasts from the Zeta and ZZ Gundam suits.

Shockingly, this is one of the least gruesome Gaza trashings.

That's not to say there are no Zeon loyalists, as Glemy Toto was extremely devoted to the point of being sick of Haman Karn and staging a coup. However, most of Neo Zeon comes off as a group of quirky individuals simping for an unhinged woman with abandonment issues.

Justifying Atrocity

With all these things in mind, I feel like Haman Karn wanted to give off the illusion of strength so she could gain power for herself, and used Axis Zeon as a way to do it. The fleet of Gaza-C units and the Axis warship would definitely give an impression of strength, but the impression is all it is. Neither the AEUG or Titans seem to have any proper estimate of the groups military strength, with the Titans instead using the possible threat of a Zeon revolt as justification for their fascist policies. Besides Haman's own personal Quebley unit, the Gaza-C is all they have and it doesn't pose any major threat; Definitely not enough to justify the Titan's attempts to control Earth and Space.

These dorks are what the average queer friend group looks like.

I think that's the perfect explanation of Axis Zeon as a whole, much like the Gaza-C they both look scary and can be used to strike fear, but both are fragile things that can be easily dismissed when the curtain is pulled back. The threat of an "Axis uprising" or "Zeon Revolution" was used primarily as an excuse for the Titans to force more control over colonies.

Even in the events of ZZ Gundam where a power vacuum allowed Axis Zeon to advance and gain more military strength, The newly renamed Neo Zeon was ultimately stopped by...children. They might have been extremely weird children, but the only real strength Neo Zeon had came from aligning themselves with other groups and taking advantage of the Earth Federation's negligence.

This small child fought the CEO of war crimes and WON.

To wrap everything together, I believe that Axis and Zeon is merely an illusory symbol of hate and regressive ideas that was used by the Titans and Haman to gain their own power. While Haman and Axis/Neo Zeon definitely existed, the actual threat they posed both ideologically and through sheer military strength was horribly diminished and downright miniscule compared to the might of the Titans or even the AEUG. The Gaza-C units are a perfect example of this; though their sheer numbers and design can appear threatening, in reality they're all barely finished suits crafted from salvaged parts that can't withstand any sort of real fight. If Haman Karn is the Ghost of Zeon, the Gaza-C are the corpse, dragged out as a display of power in hopes to hide the decaying state of the faction they represent.

The little asteroid Axis that could...(it actually failed.)

Bonus Section: Woah! Cool Robot!

Story relevance aside, I do genuinely adore the sheer aesthetic and want to rave about the Gaza-C model kit. The starkly distinct pink and deep purples mixed with the emerald eyes and windows give it a very unique look compared to other kits, and the asymmetry present in the design not only gives the kit a unique look, but keeps the actual building process interesting throughout.

My first foray into mech enjoyment came with transformers, so having a kit that transforms into several modes brought me a large dose of euphoria. The kit even came with a flight stand so the other modes could properly posed and displayed.

Taken together, it's a very unique kit with a lot of really cool features and I've absolutely adored my time with it. Although the actual build and lining process was a lot more involved then I would have expected, it does make the thought of making a small army of them feel less enjoyable tenable.

The Gaza-C and Quebley are besties ^.^

I'm a little quirky so transforming suits like these make me happy. (⁠；⁠^⁠ω⁠^⁠）

Panel lining these tubes was a nightmare and one of the reasons I'm discouraged from building a whole army (⁠´⁠-⁠﹏⁠-⁠`⁠；⁠)

Conclusion

The Gundam franchise as a whole sports a bevy of interesting mech designs, but the Gaza-C really stuck out to me as a very minor detail that ended up giving a lot of insight into the story and characters. This was definitely a lot to go over so I hope anyone that read this far enjoyed and can possibly also share my appreciation for this suit! This was my first time writing anything of this nature (and first time writing at all in years) so if there's any feedback please let me know!

Unlike Haman, I won't react badly to criticism (Probably)

I don't actually have a caption for this, I just wanted to share more ZZ please watch it. I promise it gets better, the early episodes have some whiplash coming off of Zeta but I think the series actually works really well as a more light hearted Gundam experience with a cast of loveable charac-

[nikkiitalks]

Race Baiting - A thoughtument by Nikkiitalks.

Okay.. Here we go.

Firstly, for the sake of absolute transparency, when I was first contacted by @olivaraofrph in a tirade of a novel of a response, my skimming through it had me starting to be swayed in her favour, mostly because of the depths of which her privacy was invaded for the sake of the allegations against her. And in that moment, I prematurely forgave her. Told her I understood. But it turns out, after much more has come to light, that I in fact do not understand. And in turn my forgiveness is recanted.

I did not have all the information. Hell, I had a fraction of it. Natalie and I, we were friendly, but not close. We don't talk every day and we never did. We had, though, stood arm in arm against that moment's hot button issue that I had felt strongly about, and so had she. It seemed. We'd held each other in places of mutual respect, shouting each other out and praising each other's advocacy.

Now, it all feels so... silly. This performative display that I so willingly let be pulled over my eyes. But that's beside the point. That was all I knew of her, really. There are others in this tiny niche of our already tiny community, that were far closer. Those that ran servers, indigenous servers, with her. They weren't even afforded the respect of being given an explanation to, but I did?

I was the one, who when I it was brought to my attention, when I was urged to send a DM which I already had, that was deemed the one to get that? A novel, let me be clear, the contents of which I won't make public upon request. A lot of it had nothing to do, truly, with the issue at hand but served to distract from it in a wall of text. It was overwhelming, and it felt just a teeny, tiny bit, manipulative.

There's so much evidence now, even evidence regretfully obtained, that the only place her advocacy extends to is Tumblr. None of your public, irl facing socials having anything there about it. Your own admission of percentage, (how that had been confirmed as she claims I can't speculate), and other things that don't line up. Those of us in the community affected haven gotten together to compare and talk through our feelings toward it all and there is a consensus.

It fucking sucks.

Just the fact that this needs to be brought up absolutely sucks. It detracts from the credibility of other indigenous creators in the space. Not all press is good press, and Natalie right now, is bad press. Beyond myself and the others being lied to. Beyond the personal offense I take to that. This is what bothers me the most. For all the posturing and all the 'talking in wrong and confusing ways' it makes us all look bad. And for what?

The other personal and religious or spiritual beliefs she believes doesn't mean anything to me. The other racism claims about her I can't confirm, whatever. Talking shit about a beloved creator, real or not. Doesn't matter.

What matters is there is damage done to the indigenous community here on the rpc, and before we came together to discuss it, it was distressing to all of us. There is no such thing as clout on tumblr and I don't know why people can't seem to get that through their heads? What need is there to claim to be something you're not, even through insinuations, half truths and vague details? I don't understand.

Yes, the indigenous community is so willing to accept anyone with any indigenous blood, and it's the fact that this is what was taken advantage of by someone... that really gets me. That's what really makes it sting. It's a blow to every white passing Native out there, in my opinion. That's where my hurt is. It's the fact that there is question of the validity of the claims toward a shared familial and generational trauma to myself. That still impacts my father's side of the family to this day.

I don't even know where I'm going with all this, and I feel like I'm typing myself in circles, but it's all to say that I don't care about all the other stuff that serves to muddy the waters of the real issue. Race baiting does nothing but end up hurting those who's real life experiences you're roleplaying.

[mej2235]

A little gift for @wandering-ghost

Consider this propaganda for the Ghost Leo AU in @rottmnt-au-summit

For context, this is Ghost Leo’s POV and the ‘Other’ turtles are my Sewer AU turtles!

Leo twiddled his thumbs in his lap as he kicked his tiny legs that had never had the chance to grow. Looking around the arena, all the little ghost child could see were these other versions of himself and his family, turtles of different shapes and sizes, some wearing clothes, others taking after his own family and sticking with the traditional belts. Leo wished he could join in, finally wear that belt Mikey made just for him or maybe even wear a pretty dress! He had seen so many pretty ones on TV or in those Princess magazines April would bring Raph, but Leo would always be forced to remain in his rad shirt. It could be a lot worse, Leo supposed, at least he still had his bandana, a reminder that he was still part of his family.

He was glad that seemed to be true for most versions of him and his family, versions that he was watching laugh and play music together in this ‘Battle of the Bands’.

…

Leo sniffled as he watched his own siblings play together, Mikey screaming as Raph pushed him away from the guitar with one hand. He wanted that, he wanted that so bad-

A churr came from Leo’s left.

The little slider wiped the tears from his eyes as he turned to be face to face with a much larger red eared slider, only a fraction of an inch from his own face. Leo took a deep breath in, an unnecessary habit Mikey had taught him on bad days, days when Leo was forcefully reminded he wasn’t part of this world. The other Leo tilted his head at Leo with a coo and Leo giggled, almost able to pretend that someone other than his baby brother (who wasn’t really a baby anymore, was he? Whereas Leo…).

“Hi,” Leo whispered quietly, almost as if he was afraid his unhearable voice would scare the other.

Much to Leo’s surprise, Other Leo’s eyes brightened and he chirped, “Hi!”

Leo blinked.

And then he blinked again.

And, for a third time, he blinked.

“Did-“ there was no way- Leo glanced over his shoulder, but there was no one there, “Did you just say hi to me?”

The little slider pointed at his chest and Other Leo chirped at him, sitting back as he grinned at the much smaller turtle. Leo refused to get his hopes up, but he stood up on the bench anyway, turning so his whole body faced the larger turtle. The two sliders stared into each other’s eyes, unblinking, completely ignorant of the war being waged in the background.

Other Leo blinked first.

“I win!” Leo cheered, fist punching the air, and, to his surprise, the turtle in front of him groaned. He couldn’t believe it. After over a decade, someone other than Mikey could see him. Leo had no idea how to process that and chuckled, “You really can see me,” the turtle burst out into hysterical laughter, ignoring the faint sensation of tears rolling down his cheeks as his hands covered his mouth, “Someone sees me.”

Other Leo whined in distress as he watched Leo fall apart. For once, someone could see him and the first thing Leo did was breakdown. He pulled his hands from his mouth, the shaking limbs reaching out to this physically older him’s face. Leo didn’t know why, but he was so scared- he hadn’t touched anyone besides Mikey in so long and this was him. Someone he could have been.

Other Leo frowned and crooned, pressing his face into Leo’s hands. Unlike the way Leo’s skin tingled with would-be ghost bumps when Mikey made physical contact with Leo, his skin buzzed with warmth and Leo melted against the other turtle.

Was this how cuddling his family was supposed to feel?

“Oh, you’re warm,” Leo leaned against the older turtle, ignoring every lesson about stranger danger Dad would try to talk into their heads, not that it ever really affected Leo, “This is nice.”

Other Leo churred, a rumble Leo could feel throughout his body and he melted into the other turtle’s hug, completely ignorant of how he was picked up and carried away. No one had ever picked him up before in his memory- Mikey couldn’t handle the cold contact long enough to try.

The taller turtle laid down and placed the ghost on his plastron. A shadow fell over the duo of Leos and Leo glanced up, only to be met with a Raph. He blinked up at the bottom of his older brother’s chin, listening to him and Other Leo grumble and coo at each other.

“Okayyyy,” Leo looked at Other Leo, “This is nic-WHOA!”

Leo flinched as Other Raph curled around the two Leos pulling them into his plastron and Leo’s arm went through it, turning the warmth to ice. He shivered and pulled his arms close to his body, glancing across the stadium again. To his surprise, his own siblings were now only a handful of feet away, despite Leo now being further from their stage where they were supposed to be performing.

“-and you’re sure he didn’t take anything?”

“Of courssse not!” Other Donnie was not happy with Raph’s accusation, “My brother doesssn’t sssteal!”

Other Mikey put his hand on the Other Donnie’s shoulder and stepped forward, crossing his arms, “Was anything even missing?”

“A ring,” Donnie crossed his arms and glared at the other two.

The two alternate turtles looked at each other and then back at Leo’s brothers. They stared for a few seconds before bursting out into maniacal laughter.

“Y-you-“ the alternate softshell cackled loudly, “thought our brother ssstole a ring?”

Other Mikey wiped some tears from his eyes, “You clearly don’t know us. If it’s not a comic or a blanket or supplies, he won’t touch it.”

The two alternate turtles continued to laugh as Leo’s brothers turned red, all except Mikey who was looking straight at him. Leo met Mikey’s eyes and waved. Mikey shook his head and waved back. He looked over at his older brothers still arguing with the other turtles, before glancing at Leo with a smirk that Leo had personally helped his little brother cultivate as they worked on his mischief making skills. The box turtle rolled his hand, a movement that Mikey had worked tirelessly to perfect after discovering Leo’s love of magic and misdirection, leaving the slider staring at his brother in barely concealed excitement; this was going to be good!

Mikey revealed a small blue ring in his hand and winked. Leo covered his mouth and giggled. He felt Other Leo shift under him and coo at Mikey.

“YOUR MIKEY HAS THE RING!” Other Donnie yelled, pointing at Leo’s brother who suddenly looked very nervous. “And you dare to accuse my brother of thievery! How dare you-“

Leo tuned out the rambling from the other version of his Donnie to give his full attention to his own brothers.

“Mikey,” Raph placed a hand on Mikey’s shoulder, smiling in a way that reminded Leo of just before Dr. Delicate Touch would make an appearance, “why are we accusing other us of stealing a ring you have?”

The box turtle picked at his nails,” I… forgot I had it?”

Raph pinned him with a look, “Is that a question or an answer?”

Mikey didn’t bother to answer verbally and shrugged under his older brother’s hands. Leo watched Raph sigh and turn around to apologise for what had happened, Donnie completely uninterested with the scene now that it didn’t involve him. Mikey, on the other hand, approached Leo and his new friends, skipping over toward them.

Other Raph did not like that and growled at Leo’s brother, not slightly irritated or fondly exasperated like a Raph growl should be, no, this one was filled with aggression. That was not how a Raph growl should be, especially at family.

“No!” Leo scolded, reaching up to hit Other Raph’s chin, ignoring how his nonexistent scale turn to ice shards. “That’s Mikey! Don’t growl at Mikey!”

Other Raph blinked down at him and, for a moment, Leo was terrified. He’d never seen such an empty gaze directed his way, but it only lasted a few seconds as Other Raph looked up at the chittering Other Leo. From a few feet away, Leo heard a sigh of relief and watched his brother visibly relax nearby. Leo may not be able to be injured, but Mikey had always been a worrier, no matter how much Leo reminded him he would always be fine.

You can’t die twice.

Mikey did not appreciate that joke.

Leo gasped as his current bed stumbled toward Mikey, an annoyed grumble escaping Other Leo as he playfully hissed at Other Raph. The much larger turtle rolled his eyes and settled down, retuning to his nap, even if Leo was sure that was all an act. No way was Mr. Overprotective Aggression not keeping an eye on them.

Other Leo placed him on his hip, giving Leo full view of both sets of siblings as they approached Mikey. The taller slider stopped in front of Mikey, grinning up at him with a chirp.

“Yours?” Other Leo held Leo out by the armpits, much to the ghost child’s amusement.

Leo looked up at Mikey, noting how he was being held at shoulder level to Mikey. He glanced over his shoulder at Other Leo and back again at Mikey. Wow. Other Leo was the same height as Mikey. Would he have been that tall if-

Nope. Not thinking about that right now. Focus on your new friends and family, Leo.

“He can see you,” Mikey’s voice was faint, almost nonexistent, fingers raising as if to graze Leo’s cheeks, but they stopped short, unwilling to send ice down both their spines, “he can actually see you, Leo!”

“And he’s warm!” Leo reached out and grabbed his brother’s hand, “So we can be warm too!”

“Y-yeah!” Mikey’s voice wobbled, but he continued to smile, grip tightening around Leo’s hand slightly, We’ll figure it out.”

“Who is he talking to?” Leo looked over his brother’s shoulder at Other Donnie.

“No one,” Raph sighed and Leo frowned as his no longer beating heart ached. He knew Raph couldn’t see him, but that was just rude.

Other Leo hissed at Raph, taking the others by surprise, “Little Leo no no one!”

“Little…” Other Mikey murmured, “Your Leo is smaller and invisible?! Why didn’t you tell us Leo kidnapped your brother?!”

“Scoff,” Donnie was mad and not the mad which could be used to get him out of the lab, but the dangerous mad that meant you needed to keep an eye out for anti-turtle lasers, “Hard to kidnap someone that’s dead.”

Silence.

A hiccup broke it. Then another and then a third until the sobs refused to be held back and tears that didn’t exist began to pour down false cheeks. He blubbered away as Other Leo cooed and pulled him against his chest. He didn’t even notice as Other Raph pulled them into his arms, hiding himself in the comfort the warm embrace and rumbling purrs gave him.

“You made Leo cry!” Mikey stomped up to their purple clad brother, stabbing him in the chest with a finger, “What kind of brother does that?”

“One that doesn’t delude himself with fantasies of playing with said dead brother!” Leo flinched and the rumbling grew in volume.

“YOU FUC-“

“What sort of brother doesn’t trust their brother’s judgement?” Other Mikey placed a hand on Mikey’s shoulder as he stepped in front of him, “What sort of brother berates another on how they cope and doesn’t help him?”

Other Donnie folded their arms as they stepped in front of the two Mikeys, “What sssort of Donatello ignoresss the evidence right in front of them?”

They looked over their shoulder at Other Mikey who nodded and grinned at Mikey, “Go ‘hug it out’ with your Leo. You both look like you could use it. We’ll just have a quick little chat with your brothers. Dr. Feelings loves a challenge.”

Mikey quickly retreated over to Leo and his new friends in their cuddle pile. Unlike before, Other Raph didn’t growl and pulled Mikey into the pile. Leo giggled at his brother’s wide eyes as he squirmed to try and escape, only to realise there was none. Mikey was stuck, with Leo and his new friends.

Leo wrapped his arms around his brother’s neck and basked in the warmth surrounding him. If he focused on his little bubble, he could ignore the yelling nearby.

Leo really hoped Other Donnie would get them to understand. He missed his brothers.

[tiredelirium]

D.14

This is the near halfway mark where this task of self journalling begins to feel like a chore. A selfmade target with a pointless trajectory. Still honestly surprised I’ve been able to keep this up so long.

A part of me knows nobody will ever read any of these entries. They’ll never be picked up by an algorithm thanks to my limited tags, or reblogged for any particular reason as theres no real meat behind each entry.

These words are, as I’ve tagged them, scattered thoughts written out loud, alongside a handful of meagre stories of my past. Maybe I’ll write something about my present sometime in one of these entries, but it’s an unlikely thing. My present isn’t very thought provoking, interesting, or available in any way.

Pretty soon I’ll be a third of my way through a life that I haven’t accomplished much in. There are things I want to do, of course, but a lack of drive and motivation to get to action has always been my biggest character flaw. I’ve mentioned before about this. They say disinterest is a big part of depression. But I don’t think it would be possible for me to have been depressed since I was 12. Maybe that is a possibility, and it was just something that came with puberty alongside anxiety and isolationist habits.

I want to write a book. I’ve made several attempts to start ones in the past, both fantastical and modern. Though I can never get past the first few pages. It always hits me after that point. The disinterest. The apathy. The lack of drive or motivation.

If we were ever taught as children how to motivate ourselves in life I must have missed that lesson.

I want to travel the world. I’ve been to places in the past, but very rarely of my own volition and choice. Family holidays to sunny climates, and school trips are truly the only ones. I’ve been to the far east of Europe, borderline Russia. I’ve been to New York. I’ve been to the Mediterranean, to little islands in the middle of seas. And i’ve travelled across a tiny fraction of the UK, namely England and Wales.

At one point I seriously considered, and briefly looked into, joining a crew and attempting a ship faring life. I was talked down from the idea by my parents. One whose father was a sailor and an arsehole, the other who didn’t want to lose contact with me for months on end with no idea if I would be safe or not. The second wasn’t overprotection, but just genuine concern. The seas are unforgiving after all, and I’d be a rookie before I was ever good enough.

I want to make a game. Not necessarily a video game though that would be a fun project and there’s lots of engines and facilities out there these days to try and make one. I’ve made a ton of homebrew dnd content for my own enjoyment, from specialised subclasses and unique items, to monsters and large scale settings. Currently, in my spare time, I’m working on a Horror based TTRPG setup. A kind of one and done game, that, unlike DND, wouldn’t be a module that could run for 50+ sessions.

It’s a fun project so far, but the disinterest will hit me eventually. Maybe I’ll get distracted with another project idea. Maybe I’ll simply hit a wall of non-creativeness, where ideas just don’t hit as good. Or maybe I’ll get frustrated and think the project is dumb and pointless.

I wish my mind wasn’t this way, but it’s not an easy thing to change a method of thinking. Especially when you don’t know where that thinking originated or why it still persists, even against the things you enjoy.

I’m greedy.

[simplylemonboii]

I'm a simple man, I just wanna be loved and appreciate. Routine affection and reassurance is definitely needed but I'm able to survive with a minimal amount

Since I don't really have a fulfilling amount of that instead I'll cope with drugs and sex. Unfortunately I'm only really getting one of those things

Both would be amazing but here we are, so instead of giving into those feelings and letting the pain consume me ill get manic bursts of insomniac/crackhead energy and clean my room.

I'd much rather have some cuddles and lots of bare skin to skin contact, however I'll have to make make do without

Life ain't really cash money right now but I'll survive because that's all I know how to do anymore

Its so hard seeing so many friends and family find that wonderful and meaningful love. It must be so nice to have a partner that'll work just as hard as you to make things work and overcome just about anything together

I wish I had that. I got so tired of everyone saying "You'll find it. Everyone's got someone for them out there. You've just got to stop looking for it."

Believe me friends, I haven't been looking for a long time. I'll do my best to try and entertain someone's attraction to me but unfortunately they haven't stuck around long

Starting to accept more and more each day that perhaps I'm just not meant to be with anyone.

Everyone has someone out there for them. I know it's a big world and I haven't met even a fraction of the population. I've barely seen a speck of the world and it's people

But I don't think I'll meet anyone that's a match for me

I don't think I have a soul mate. I used to believe I did

Twice I thought someone could be my forever. Sadly I ruined both of those relationships. I was a horrible human. I abused and pushed them away.

Now I haven't felt like anyone could possibly be my soul mate. I'm just that lone fish of a different vibration. I an a bird who's singing his own mating song and unfortunately none of the other birds in the forest like what they hear.

I'm that extra nail that wasn't needed to finish the project.

I'll probably live a longer life than I'd like to but I fear most it'll be a lonely life.

I'll end up dying alone in an empty home. After years I have faded away from all my friends and family as they moved on with their lives and many started families of their own

I'm that hot wheel that got buried and left behind in a sandbox on the playground. As more and more kids came through that school to play in the sand box I sunk further and further beneath the grains. Never to be seen again

When I was younger I was always asked what my biggest fear was. I used to say it was being alone.

When I was a young lad I wasn't able to really find the words to explain exactly what I meant. Now as an adult I knew exactly what I was afraid of. I'm experiencing more and more each day.

I'm afraid of dying alone. Unloved, unwanted. Forgotten...

[honey-and-silk-xiv]

An Interview with the Thavnair Jewel

► Name ➔ "I have had a few, only the one that was given to me at birth I no longer use."

► Are you single ➔ With an amused smirk the Viera canted her head. "Yes, and I would not wish it any other way."

► Are you happy ➔ "I have everything I wished for and more." The confirmation was paired with a nod, maintaining that same amused smirk.

► Are you angry? ➔ "Angry? Rarely. It is a considerable waste of my energy that could be used elsewhere."

► Are your parents still married ➔ "That would imply they were in the first place, no?" This she spoke with a breath that warped into a faint chuckle.

NINE FACTS

► Birth Place ➔"Like most of my kind, I was born in the Golmore jungle."

► Hair Colour ➔ "As you can see, I am currently a sun kissed blonde." She reached to touch the strands of silken hair with a smirk.

► Eye Color ➔ A momentary pursing of her lips revealed a pensive pause but she chuckled softly. "If you wished to look deep into my eyes you could have asked. A striking colour is it not? A family trait." Vibrant green hues fixed themselves confidently forward, lined with a generous application of kohl to make them stand out more.

► Birthday ➔ "It is custom to never ask a lady her age, no?" A sultry grin lurked upon her painted lips.

► Mood ➔ "Curious." The tanned viera responded without hesitation. "Curious to know where these questions lead, it would be preferable that the result would be...exciting."

► Gender ➔ "Firmly female."

► Summer or winter ➔ "There is nothing quite like basking in the hot sun." Those verdant eyes gleamed, matching the subtle smirk gracing her lips. "Preferably with as little clothing as possible."

► Morning or afternoon ➔ "That depends on the night prior and what for." all the while the gleam in her gaze lingered bold and confident.

EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE

► Are you in love ➔ Mirth flared upon her features, her tone carrying the trace of her laugh. "It would take someone utterly extraordinary to invite such an emotion from me. No, I am not."

► Do you believe in love at first sight ➔ "A romantic notion, to be sure. But not a realistic one from my own observations. Lust at first sight, that is a more accurate explanation and one I do believe in."

► Who ended your last relationship ➔ "Hmmm, oh it has been such a long time ago." The viera mused with a lingering grin.

► Have you ever broken someone’s heart ➔ "A few more than one, some like to play with fire and end up burned in the process." a dismissive hand waved off her reply without losing the languid smirk still dancing on her lips.

► Have you hugged someone within the last week? ➔The laughter sounded nearly like a croon when the viera angled her head a fraction. "I am rather willing to offer you an embrace if you find that you have not had enough physical contact yourself."

► Have you ever had a secret admirer ➔ "Quite regularly so, I have received many an anonymous gift over the years. Exciting ever time, though I rarely fail to figure out who it is from."

► Have you ever broken your own heart? ➔ She snorted in laughter and shook her head. "No."

SIX CHOICES

► Love or lust ➔ Passion flared in her eyes, unblinking in her conviction. "Lust." She spoke with a deliberate sultry draw in invitation and promise both.

► Cats or Dogs ➔ "Neither. I have no interest in pets. Well...not of the animal kind of course."

► A few best friends or many regular friends ➔ "Both." The bold smirk she offered daring the interviewer to try and make her choose.

► Wild night out or romantic night in ➔ "Wild night out, leading to a wild night in." a wink sealed the statement.

► Day or night ➔ "A lot of these leave much open to interpretation. Hmmm, night."

FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS

► Been caught sneaking out ➔ "I never needed to sneak out- Unless of course..." The ever present smirk on her lips curled further still. "Are you asking if I would be able to leave unseen if I came with you after this?"

► Fallen down/up the stairs ➔ "Not to my memory, and I am not one to forget."

► Wanted something/someone so badly it hurt? ➔ "I have wanted things badly, to the point of hurting?" Amusement rung warm in her words. "I get what I set my eyes on."

► Wanted to disappear ➔ "And live in solitude? Sisters, no."

FOUR PREFERENCES

► Smile or eyes ➔ "Eyes. So much can be said with a glance. A single look."

► Shorter or Taller ➔ "I have no preference to either."

► Intelligence or Attraction ➔ "Depends what I am in the mood for, it is terribly difficult to have a stimulating conversation with someone who lacks any wit."

► Hook-up or Relationship ➔ "You continue to dance around the real question you wish to ask." Subtly she leaned forward, darting a flick of her tongue across her bottom lip seductively.

FAMILY

► Do you and your family get along ➔ "Ah, I guess you are still gathering courage, very well." Leaning back again, the viera nodded. "We are very close."

► Would you say you have a “messed up life” ➔ "Not in the slightest."

► Have you ever ran away from home ➔ A ponderous pause followed. "I have left home, but I do not classify that as having ran away."

► Have you ever been kicked out ➔ "From where? You are not implying you would?"

FRIENDS

► Do you secretly hate one of your friends ➔ "It would be rather strange to call someone you hate your friend. I do not waste my time on hatred, it serves nothing."

► Do you consider all of your friends good friends ➔ "Nobody has the time to form such a deep connection with that many people and maintain it. I am a capable woman but even I have my limits." The laughter rolled from her lips with ease.

► Who is your best friend ➔ "Lord Kaien is my closest and most dear friend. I consider him as close as my own blood."

► Who knows everything about you ➔ "You will have to learn about me yourself, instead of interrogating others. Now... that is quite enough questions. A glass of wine to start a far more enjoyable rest of our time together?" The woman rose from her seat, leaning over to reach for the bottle with a salacious grin.

[strawberry-cowmilk]

Feeling violent rn 😈 (I totally understand if it makes you uncomfy and you don’t want to do it and I apologize if my request made you feel that way)

I’ve been seeing a lot of MC family hc’s that are pretty wholesome and comical so how about the brothers and side characters react to an MC who hates their family due to being severely abused by them for years, cut off all contact since they moved out, and never mentions them. And this isn’t your average hatred; like their personality does a full 180 to pure malice and it goes beyond human capacity to the point of it concerning everyone.

However and by some random reason we don’t need to disclose, MC’s family reunited with MC again and they show genuine remorse and want to fix things but MC tells them how dead they are to them, how they tried to give them chances only to be met with physical/mental wounds, and that as far as they’re concerned; they have no family on Earth and even though they have almost died and actually did die in the Devildom, they’d rather be killed a thousand times over than forgive their family.

(Let’s say MC has a Dad, Mom, Brother, and Sister while MC was seen as the black sheep and was often discarded)

MC’s “Dad”: Please, MC! We just want to fix things!

MC:*had soulless eyes* So you are capable of guilt, I’m a bit impressed that you have some capacity to be human.

MC’s “Mom”:*was begging* We’re so sorry, MC! We love you, please come home!

MC:*chuckles* I haven’t had a “home” the second I opened my eyes.

MC’s “Brother”: If there’s anyway to prove we mean it, we’ll do it!

MC: Then drop dead 😀

MC’s sister:*crying* MC, please! This isn’t like you!

MC: You’re right, this isn’t like me. I’m much worse and you all made me this way. Guess you miss your punching bag.*smiles a bit wider as they look to them* I’d rather have my limbs and intestines be splattered across this room than let you even have a trickle of hope that I would ever forgive you. I’m being merciful by not killing you all myself. *meant it*

Hello! Sorry I evaporated off of this platform for a while, thank you for waiting. I hope you enjoy!

the obey me cast with a mc who has a bad relationship with their family

-> brothers and side characters x mc (luke platonic)

mc's gender is not mentioned, not proof read

content warnings: implied past abuse, (implied) violent words, fighting, violence, torture mentions

-----

Lucifer

he makes your family leave or takes you sonewhere away from them

lucifer is surprised you're capable of saying such things, you're usually so sweet, but he's proud of you for standing up to them

that makes him wonder how bad the abuse was, needless to say, lucifer isn't done with your family

Mammon

he waits for you to finish your little 'talk' with your family

the whole time, he was staring at the scene before him with mouth agape

afterwards, mammon asks if you're alright after all that and he offers to punch each of your family members

Leviathan

like mammon, levi watches as you vent your grudge against your family

the whole time, he's trying to figure out how to comfort you later

does he play games with you? binge watch the tsl movies? he lets you decide

Satan

satan has to fight with every cell of his being to not attack your family then and there

whatever they had done myst be bad enough to provoke such a reaction from you, right?

after it's done, he comforts you first before doing what he wants to do to your family

Asmodeus

'okay, honey, that's enough' he says as he leads you away from your family

he doesn't want you to work yourself up over people who don't even deserve a fraction of your attention

asmo does his very best to let you relax as best as possible with baths and massages when you're alone

Beelzebub

family is the most important thing there is to beel

so it really hurts him to find out you were mistreated so badly by your own

fighting the urge to lunge at those who hurt you, beel takes you somewhere private where he can shower you in affection and your comfort food

Belphegor

he starts shaming your family with you

'you do realise mc hates you now because of what you did, right? or is all you understand violence, in that case I can teach you in a way you'd understand'

eventually he gets tired of your family's whining, so he takes you somewhere private

Diavolo

he realises he might have made a huge mistake by having sent you back to the human world after the exchange program

diavolo makes your family leave before you waste too much energy on them

then, he offers you a permanent stay in the devildom, so you don't have to see them again

Barbatos

barbatos is calm on the outside, and absolutely burning with rage on the inside

it's been a while since he had some fun with his torture equipment, perhaps your family would like to help him out

but anger aside, he will make you some nice tea to get your mind off of this

Simeon

he sends your family away and takes you somewhere you feel comfortable

there, he'll let you vent all you want, and if you want to be held, he will open his arms for you

simeon uses his angelic powers to provide you with enough strength to help you cope with everything that had happened

Luke

you stopped what you were doing when you realised luke could hear and see everything

you tried to send him away, but he refused to leave you alone with your family

luke doesn't really know how to help, but he tries his best by baking you the sweets you like

Solomon

he's secretly cheering you on to let your family exactly know how you feel

that doesn't mean he isn't worried about you, though

when you're done, and you two are alone, he'll ask you how you feel and let you vent all you want

[manuedws]

Too late to apologize

I usually have a lot of fun discovering all your creations, and admiring your imagination and talents, and I thought I'd stay on the readers' side. But since I finished the game, I have a few things on my mind, so I think I should share them.

I hesitated a lot, because I don't know if my English is good enough to start. I admit that I would have liked to be proofread, but after all, it doesn't cost anything to give it a try.

I'm sorry, the action is slow to take place, but in order to deal with this subject, I thought it was important to talk a few words about MC, who she is, what she does, and why.

Hope you will enjoy

---------------------------------------------------------------

Part 1.

The trickle of fresh air on her face was almost pleasant, it was perhaps the only thing that maintained a semblance of contact with reality. She was staring straight ahead, her mind foggy. Reality had escaped her for a few seconds, granting her a brief moments of respite.

Her gaze was inexpressive, deep rings  were marking her eyes, her makeup had run down her cheeks, like the scars of her despair.

the light of a flashing beacon that snapped her out of her reverie, when an ambulance passed her at high speed. She then realized that she had lost track for a few moments. It only took her a few fractions of a second to put the events back in their place before the abominable lump in her stomach overwhelmed her again and tears came to her eyes. 

She glanced at the speedometer and saw that she had slowed considerably, a warning light indicating that she was soon to run out of fuel, which made her hiss in annoyance between her teeth. She turned on the car radio, hoping the music would keep her awake and more attentive, now was definitely not the time to screw up.

A few hours earlier, she had hastily stuffed a few clothes, her toiletry kit, and her laptop into a large canvas bag, grabbed her purse and a large hiking backpack, and left her apartment without looking back. She had tossed everything onto the passenger seat of her car, this time preferring it to her motorcycle.   It might have an advantage later, she had thought, and in a last flash of lucidity, she had made a slight detour to withdraw as much cash as possible from an ATM before getting on the highway.

She was already out of control.

"I've been a bad, bad girl

I've been careless with a delicate man

And it's a sad, sad world

When a girl will break a boy just because she can"

Was singing Fiona Apple on the radio.

The GPS indicated that there were still 2 hours to go, she had done more than half of the way, and yet she still hadn't drawn up the slightest plan. She was exhausted and on edge, unable to organize her thoughts, unable to find the beginning of solutions. So ...finding the genius idea that could solve all the problems and fix that mess.

"Don't you tell me to deny it

I've done wrong and I want to suffer for my sins

I've come to you 'cause I need guidance to be true

And I just don't know where I can begin

Ooh, what I need is a good defense

'Cause I'm feeling like a criminal

And I need to be redeemed

To the one I've sinned against

Because he's all I ever knew of love"

She was born into a united and happy family 28 years ago. An only child, her parents had had her late, as they were thinking they would never have any children. She had been pampered, and loved madly, they had always had high hopes for her :  "She will do great things" they were saying.

She could have become one of those proud bitches who thinks everything is due to them, but it was the opposite. One day, seeing bruises and scarfs on her 7 years old bestie, she realised how lucky she was to be in such a loving family.  She was thinking that a fairy had leaned over her crib when she was a baby, and she had tried all her life to deserve what had been given to her. 

She had been an easy and affectionate child, a studious student, a hard worker, she became a courageaous woman. Although she had clearly defined studies as her priority, she was a smiling and kind young woman, who never refused to have fun, as long as her work was done.

Six months ago, after many years of study, she got her first assignment. It was far from what she had hoped for, but she told herself that she was close to her goal, and that she would do her best, as always, to prove that she deserved her place. 

A lifetime of control, and yet, for the past few hours, she had been sailing on sight, freestyle. She was aware of what she was doing: rushing headlong into her downfall  without the slightest hesitation. In two hours, she was going to throw away everything she had fought for all her life.

“Let me know the way

Before there's hell to pay

Give me room to lay the law and let me go

I've got to make a play

To make my lover stay

So what would an angel say the devil wants to know”

Damn it, make an effort and think!!! She grumbled through her teeth, taking a quick look at her phone on the passenger seat. A sign pointed to a nearby highway service area , so she decided to fill up the car and freshen up.

The interior of the shop was anything but classic. There was a corner grocery bazaar which seemed to be well stocked. The large counter at the back offered fast food at all hours of the day and night. On the right there were a few tables, some of which were already occupied. Against the wall, a few vending machines for coffee, snacks, sodas and above, a large television screen on which we saw a surreal scene: dozens of people, police and firefighters in a security perimeter, a helicopter in the sky. The subtitle read :

Duskwood: Unexplained explosion in the mines. Search operations are still ongoing.

She felt an icy thrill run through her body, her eyes glued to the television. She had heard from Alan that the mine had caught fire and that's what had convinced her to go there, despite her promise, but the sight of the smoke column and the dozens of people gravitating in the middle of the forest terrified her.

What if... 

What if he was still inside?

What if she was too late?

Part 2

[tommyspeakycap]

request for jack grealish one where he’s really upset over something and you’re there with him to comfort him, lots of physical contact being his love language and you being the only person he likes touching his hair ?

Comfort

You knew from the very second he walked through the door that annoyed would be an incredibly generous word to describe the emotions running through the Brummie boys head. You grimace to yourself, shoulder raising closer to your ears at the sound of the brand new front door slamming heavily behind him with a curse at the fact he couldn't get his shoes kicked off just right the first time he attempted it in the foyer.

The first game was a loss and just about all he'd gotten for the past few days was hate, stress, hate and some more fucking stress. He was exhausted. From Mykonos to Birmingham to get a bag full of clothes so he could meet Villa in London before eventually travelling to Manchester, his sleep schedule has been completely messed up and even when he did have bursts of time where he should have been sleeping, he had been laying awake scrolling through countless tweets criticising his every single move. Add to that the fact his body was exhausted from international duty and that he had wanted nothing more than to curl up by your side and let his worries melt away like he had last gotten to do nearly three whole months ago.

He doesn't know you're here. To the very best of Jack's knowledge, you were still home in Birmingham and he would probably have to broach the conversation of whether or not you'll be joining him up anytime soon, if ever. He lets out a frustrated grunt, but you know Jack better than anyone else and there's the thick sheen of his heart aching tears existing beneath his frustration.

"Hey baby."

His head snaps around to land his eyes on you the second your sweet voice meets his buzzing ears. The echos of Etihad still burn a bit of his hearing away for now, but he knows it'll return to normal by the end of the night. The tears that had previously been kept on his lash line, pushed back by his will not to breakdown for fear he might not be able to stop if he starts are now past the last line of defence, streaming over his cheeks as he crossed the floor at a pace that would send his fife rating into surefire question.

Your body makes an involuntary 'oof' as he crashes against you, his arms so tight around your body as he stops you from stumbling back with the force of his incoming hug. You don't think he's ever actually held you that tightly before, never with such dire necessity, with such urgency for you to be as close to him as he could get you.

The hair that's been allowed to fall loose from the band he'd earlier had it tied back in tickles the back of your neck as it dangles over the exposed skin. He mumbles something almost incoherent about how much he's missed you into your neck, pepping chaste kisses where his lips have landed against you in this hug. You wished you could enjoy that, but the dampening that has begun to occur over the shoulder that his head is above reminds you of the pain he must be in.

Leaving your childhood club is one thing, but leaving it when everybody else seems to think he's a monster for it is a whole different kind of agony. There were just too many emotions for people to see the kind of things Jack had given for the club and the huge opportunity he had left them with his legacy and with the money they copped for his record breaking sale.

"It's okay, Jacky." You coo, tightening your arms around you as he attempts one tighter squeeze to force the tears back into him. It's a futile attempt, his arms loosening but never dropping away from you as he squeezes his eyes shut and lets those sobs shake his body. "I got you, baby. I've got you."

There was such a mix of emotions running through him that made him feel like the world had just pushed him to the ground and taken the perfect opportunity to give his body a good kicking. First final for England in 55 years, then they lost in a penalty shootout he didn't even get to be a part of after a game he barely got to play in. Then a holiday he couldn't take with you because of work commitments and a sudden coworker needed sooner maternity leave meaning your holiday was completely eliminated. As if those things didn't dampen his spirit, all that transfer business had gone down and it was finally all hitting him.

His exhaustion had caught up, an inevitable burn out that could be messed only by the presence of you in his life. Some of this tears that stream down his cheeks and pool on the grey material of your t-shirt are ones of joy and relief for finally having you back in his arms again for the first time in far too long of a time. Jack vows he will never ever spend that amount of time without you again. Never will he let so much time pass before he gets to hold you, kiss you and tell you face to face how much he truly loves every single thing about you.

"You're my rockstar, you know." You announce, seemingly out of the blue ones his body wracking sobs had died to smaller sniffled and period tears streaking down onto you. "I've literally never been prouder of anyone in my life ever. Not only did you fucking smash the euros, but then you stayed so sweet and so amicable during such a difficult process. You handled everything so well, J. I'm so proud or you and I'm so, so happy for you." You promise, pushing him back so you can take his blotchy, tear streaked face in your head. The expanse of that face is coved in your kisses, pecked all over the surface until he's giggling like the Jack that you know so well, his laugh the most contagious sound you've ever been lucky enough to get to hear on a daily basis. "And I'm so lucky that you let me share this journey with you." You finish, landing your lips softly and perfectly onto his with a warmth and love he had been desperately missing out on for those last vital few weeks of his break.

"S' our journey," Jack mumbles in response against your lips, pulling back every so slightly so he can get a proper good look at the face he had missed so much in person. Your cute quirked eyebrows and confusion tainted eyes make him smile before he elaborates. "Not my journey, it's our journey together. All of this, just the two of us."

His words make your heart sore, flying up onto the space above you in pure glee. You had to admit there was a mild element of fear wondering if he would want you here or if he'd maybe be wanting fresh start, but that was certainly not the case for Jack.

"I love you," he says as you feel him tuck you right back into his chest with a content hum. "I love you too, but you need a wash."

Jack's laughter bellows loudly from his chest beneath your ear at your lightly playful and yet very truthful statement.

"I ran you a bubble bath for you. Bathroom's huuuuge." Your eyes are full of wonder like he thought they might be when he would get the opportunity to bring you out to his temporary Manchester abode. This is you would both stay until he could find a house to place some money down on so he can truly start to settle out the fact he's going to have the next six years of his life here in this area with this club. It makes him more than happy, being here. But something that tickles him in thought as he follows you up the stairs is that he'll get to experience all of this newness with you. You’ll get to explore the new area together, find nee places, making it home together. You had both known Soulihull like the back of your hand, now you could find new places to just be together. He can go house hunting with you. He'll let you drag him through the houses he probably wouldn't otherwise look so much into, talking about what room could be which and silly little things he wouldn't even have noticed.

He could pick a house with you that would have enough room to start a family in together within the next year or so, like you had been hoping to do depending on what the club and transfer season had brought. This brought stability, a team that would function well without a reliance on him if there were some things he had to sit out in order to build this family.

It had been, unbeknownst to you, such a pivotal part of discussions with the Manchester City agents. Jack made it clear he was looking for stability and trophies. He had done so much for Villa and now it was time for him to invest energy in bigger fights with bigger clubs that don't face relegation so constantly. He made it clear to the managers also that the was looking to be in the business of starting a family sometime soon. He was welcomed with open arms still. A club who wanted him desperately and would probably have caved to many more demands from him, not having a fraction of an issue with negotiated paternity pay and leave.

He couldn't wait to find a house and settle down here with you for the foreseeable future, even if things didn't look exactly as he thought they might've looked when you first got together as merely young adults.

"What's going on in that pretty head of yours, eh?" You ask softly, running your fingers gently through his tangled and sweaty hair as he stands there in the middle of the large bathroom. Jack shrugs. There's so much in there today, not really like usual where he could sort through those thoughts and keep his head clear for every day and every game he faces.

"Just stressed," he huffs, allowing you to help him out of the brand new away strip he had been given at the beginning of the day today for his first first game with the new team.

His muscles are achy and tight, body still stiff from the cold that the rain had battered into his limbs as you easily hook off his boxers and tug them down his legs so he can step over the bathtub into the perfect temperature bubble filled water that makes him heave out a heavy sigh of relief the second it meets his skin.

"Talk to me, baby?"

And talk to you he did after he sat down in that bath with you.

He leaned back against you, allowing you to lather shampoo into the hair he trusted very few people with multiple times to massage the ache out of his skull from the previous days tension headaches. He talks about all those messages from so many unhappy people, some even City fans who didn't even want to entertain the idea of him being there. He talks about his worry of sitting on the bench season after season, telling you he was hoping to god those tweets wouldn't be further from the truth. He confided in you some of his greatest pains; the concept that he'd let his Villa teammates down and maybe even made his family unhappy despite the fact they had given him nothing but their full support and unsurprising pride just like everybody else in his immediate circle.

You massage muscle relaxing soap into all of the muscles in his body as he just talks, letting the weight of the world off of his shoulders to dissipate like the steam in the air from the bath. Only once he has everything off his chest and the waters gone cold do you both leave the bathroom, wrapped in towels then into pyjamas where he wraps you up in his arms like he's been desperate to do since the moment he touched off for International duty months ago, and he talks again.

This time, he talks to you instead of just talking out every worry and fear he's ever had.

Jack uses probably the most amount of words he's ever used in such sensible succession in order to paint you a perfect mental picture of a house just outside the city with a huge garden, fenced in for dogs and kids with a pool and enough room for all three of those future kids to have their own room, even though they'll share at first just for fun. He paints a picture of you at his games with two sons and a daughter, his name on each shirt along your back. The kids will call Foden uncle Phil and they’ll love him just like you both do. They'll get to play with the teams kids on the pitch after the games no matter how tired the guys are even if they've been thrashed in a loss. He depicts the kind of life you had both wanted for so long, somehow always deterred by something until right this moment, the time feeling like it had rolled perfectly into place for both of you.

And Jack tells you about how you'll poke fun at him when he starts to get those salt and pepper strands of hair and he'll love you no matter how you look. Your kids will learn what love is from their parents, they'll pick it up and they'll emulate it in their own lives sometime in the future. They'll stamp out hate with the hearts full of love that you will both allow those kids to grow into.

You both fall asleep together that night, wrapped in each others arms drifting off into dreams of kids that don't exist yet in a house you haven't even looked for with a future that each of you wants nothing more than to grab onto with both hands.

Jack's heart hurts for the changes he's made this week. He doubts the pain will ever fully leave him and he hopes that one day his club will welcome him back to end his career on a high note with them. However, until then the pain will be dulled by the prospect of his new future here.

One he can't wait to get stuck right into.

[crumbledcastle28]

Chapter 8: An Apology

Warnings: depression, suicidal thoughts, references to an incredibly painful past, references to murder, references to torture, lots of crying, references of being shot/stabbed. This is really heavy, so please proceed with caution.

Author’s Note: Thank you to EVERYONE who has shown any support for this! I am very proud of this series and it makes me very happy people are enjoying it 💜

(I cannot remember where I got this gif from, so if it’s yours please let me know so I can credit you!)

After Mando left, you sat in your silent sobs for what felt like hours.

It could have been hours for all you knew. It’s not like you cared anyway.

All you did was sit in your guilt and shame, allowing yourself to digest all you’ve done. You have been pushing this down for so long, and now it feels like there is no stopping it.

A person can only pretend for so long, and you would give anything to just go back in time and reverse it all.

So many faces flash in your memory of people you’ve killed and cheated for the Empire, and it’s an absolute hell. None of these people deserved what they got. None of them. And yet you still did it.

No matter how many excuses you make for how you became a part of the Empire and all the torture they put you through, you still did it. You are still an enemy to the people you held so dear after so little time.

You are a monster.

After a while, you hear Mando’s footsteps entering Kuiil’s house again. You don’t even know where Kuiil is, you honestly forgot he even existed.

Maybe he will forgive me, you think to yourself. We were in a similar situation?

You see Mando’s helmet enter through the doorway and you feel the smallest, tiniest fraction of butterflies you once had for the man returning.

But the butterflies are immediately squashed when you remember you are about to be thrown out. Again.

Just because you handled it once before doesn’t mean you have the strength to go through that now. Especially after everything you’ve done.

You feel his eyes scanning your pathetic, patched up form on the ground, and the storm inside of you starts to rumble again.

Please… please not again.

He sits down on the opposite side of the ship, resting his hands on his knees. He folds his hands, and you swear you hear him take a deep breath.

“She needs to calm down, that’s all,” he says, referring to Cara, and you find some strength to nod. Your eyes are burning and your muscles want to explode from exhaustion. Your mind is keeping you awake, while the rest of your body just wants to sleep.

“I…. I wouldn’t have let her kill you,” he says, and you shut your eyes, feeling the tears start to rise again.

Why, you think to yourself. It would be easier for everyone if I was just dead!

You still somehow keep yourself together, wiping your nose with your sleeve. He can see how much pain you are in, but you were praying he didn’t pity you. You didn’t deserve it. Especially from him.

“I have only heard stories about red lightsabers. They belong to an evil, dark side of the powers that the kid has,” he says, and you nod.

He has to understand. You know he understands. He always has.

“They’re called Sith… right,” he asks, and you finally make eye contact with him.

“Yes,” you croak out. Your voice sounds like you hadn’t talked for a hundred years, but Mando just nodded.

Yes, you think to yourself. I am a Sith.

The fact that Mando knows who and what you are now is the weirdest combination of feeling a weight lifted off your shoulders, but at the same time, one double the weight has been added.

He was talking so gently. Like he didn’t want to rub it in your face.

He has to be doing this so I don’t kill him when he kicks me out, you think.

Why else would he have any respect for me? No one else ever has?

He takes a moment to process, and then he asks, “The Emperor was a Sith… wasn’t he?”

You feel like a sword has been stabbed through you one final time, but you don’t want to make him feel like he’s hurting you, so you just nod slowly.

You have to save your strength for when he asks you to leave. You know he will ask you in that calm, gentle voice that will haunt you forever.

He understands you fought for the Empire. You killed, destroyed, and lied for them. Their blood is forever stained on your hands, and now you got Mando bloodied.

He deserves an explanation, or at least an apology, so you mumble a quiet “um,” signifying you were about to speak.

Even if he doesn’t believe you, he needs to know you didn’t want this. Ever.

“My uh… my parents sold me,” you mumble while sniffling.

You can tell his interest is peaked because his entire body leans forward, silently asking you to continue.

How can he even look at me right now?

You proceed to tell him the story of how your parents were servants to an evil family who never gave them a fair pay. They were incredibly poor, and they had you outside of wedlock, so they were looked down upon even more in their society. They hated you for it. They took any chance they could get to get you away from them.

When the Empire came to your planet looking for recruits, your parents jumped on the offer. They didn’t mind the extra handful of credits that came with it too.

“No matter how much I hated them, they were still my parents,” you say.

“I didn’t want to leave them, so when the stormtroopers went to drag me away, I got so angry. I didn’t know it at the time, but the force channeled through me in my anger. I used all my strength, and sent them all flying through the air,” you say, while laughing uncomfortably at the memory.

Your eyes still burned and your muscles screamed for relief, but you had to keep going. Mando deserved to know the truth.

“That’s the last thing I remember of that day, and the next thing I knew, I was sent into training. I went through countless masters, but none of them could control me. I was just so angry. All the time,” you said with a sigh.

“I would refuse to do what they asked, and even when I did what I was told, I would hurt them instead. I never listened.”

You took a deep breath. This next part was going to hurt.

“They finally realized that I could not be controlled, so they….. tortured me,” you say, trying not to allow the weakness in your voice to show through.

If you got emotional, it was more likely Mando would think you were crazy. You had to keep pushing.

You cleared your throat, and continued.

“They made me do everything, Mando. They made me tear down towns, cities, planets. And if the people didn’t succumb to the Empire’s rule…,” you say, and you can’t even finish the sentence.

“I finally got away years later, and I escaped to Tattooine. They tried to stop me, but it was no use. I could beat any stormtrooper or Imperial guard they threw at me,” you say.

“They hurt me enough to know that I wouldn’t come back…… I hadn’t even come close to helping anyone but myself until I met you,” you say.

You take a deep breath and rub your eyes.

You did it, you think. He knows.

You let him digest your story. He listened intently and respectfully the entire time you were speaking. He never interrupted, he never became angry, he just stared at you and digested it all.

It was quiet for a while, until he stood up.

“The Empire killed my family,” he said, and all your composure went out the window.

You assumed that the Empire hurt him, it has hurt everyone, but this is on another level. It felt like you had been shot again, but this was way more painful. Your heart shattered for him.

You always knew the universe was cruel, but you had done horrific things, so you always thought it was payback. Now you knew the universe was truly cruel.

“I am….. so sorry,” you manage to say through your burning throat. Tears were streaming down your face, but you managed to stay relatively quiet. It’s not like crying for them would bring Mando’s family back.

He moved to you slowly and kneeled down in front of you.

You couldn’t meet his gaze. You just stared at the floor and wiped your eyes. You were hurting him, just like you hurt everyone else. It felt like hell on earth and you were convinced you were the worst person that ever lived.

“You… you don’t have to believe me Mando. I know I hurt so many people, and even if I didn’t want to, I still did what they asked,” you say, trying to fill up the space.

“You can kick me out, kill me. Anything. I just want you to know that I didn’t choose this. I swear on everything I would do anything to be any other person in the whole galaxy.”

You finish and finally meet his gaze, begging him to say something. Anything.

He stands to leave, and you finally accept your fate.

He gets to the doorway, your final hopes of forgiveness leaving with him.

“I believe you,” he mumbles, looking back at you.

“We will talk more tomorrow” he says, and he leaves you.

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