#a little just frustrated i guess

[s4pphoiduser]

im a hypocrite about normal things like u should eat well to be healthy or whatever right but i hate people who r hypocrites of like not-very-normal things. i don't really have an opinion on rpf and stuff but i see a lot on the internet who are very strongly against it and then they post like memes or whatever that ARE real people shipping you know so like pick a side. you want to condemn and crucify people for writing rpf or whatever and you're still doing the same fucking thing dude.

[starshine-cal]

My brain off adderall: ugh work sucks when can I leave

My brain when properly medicated at work:

(I pinky promise this is my own tweet that’s why I blocked the username LOL)(also this post brought to you by every Jedi we know post-order falling getting into romantic relationships with seemingly very little conflicting feelings after living their whole lives with the orders teachings haha)(guy who was young padawan when the order fell: “but I can’t date people! Only the sith date people!” Skdkdkdl)

[kirby-the-gorb]

[ganondoodle]

seeing all the crazy stuff people build in totk kinda ... it feels like that is also a factor in why it turned out like this, like the insane things people did in botw and the (i keep saying devs when i actually mean the directors .. producers?) directors saw it and build totk just around letting people do it all 100 times more

to be clear, i think its impressive as hell what some people build (i just saw like .. a movie scene with a functioning mech gozilla and tanks made with totks building stuff ... what the fuck) and those things go pretty viral (understandibly so) but i also gotta question

as creative, free, and impressive as it is ... should that have been the focus in a zelda game? like .. is building mechas and tanks like that something that should be in a zelda game? can it be in there without inevitably sacrificing so much else? theres building games just for that? and if you want to make it zelda themed you can make it a spin off?

like i get it, people did crazy things in botw, they saw what people had fun with and dialed it up to a 1000 in totk, which in itself is not bad, even pretty good if you consider gamedevs and feeback and all that bc in general you should embrace what people had fun with in your game even if it wasnt the intent, given that nintendy listens to feedback (perhaps even a bit too much at times) and creative solutions was a central point to botw design philosophy but

i feel like totk kinda .. missed the balance?

if its really a reason why totk is build around enabling that in a purely player centered toy box kind of way without it actually mattering in the story .. or even themes ... was it worth it? not to sound like an oldschool boomer tm but in a franchise that iconic, lore and story focused, should you really abandon nigh all lore/story cohesion just to give the player a big box of toys in a world where i feel that doesnt ,, really belong? in a direct sequel in the same world with the same characters no less? that point is perhaps the biggest issue with it, bc again lots of games even if somwhat a sequel, had strange new tech or things in the world but in all of those cases it was some alternative universe, millenia after the other game, or on an entire different continent; while totk is supposedly just a few years after botw in the very same hyrule

(still doesnt explain the erasing of all shiekah things and replacing it with sonau- tho suddendly revealing the shiekah had actual rockets, wheels with suspension and grenade-launchers, might have been confusing too- you could have enabled the player creativity with shiekah too imo, and personally i would have found it way more fun ... lil guardian leg crawlies ..)

having thought about it feels rather logical why they did it in alot of ways, but also ... totk is build around it, while its also not build around it at all- its build around the PLAYER, not the world, not the story, not the theme, not the character, but YOU (especialyl those that dont realyl care about anythign story or lore stuff and just want to have fun with the gameplay loop, which isnt wrong, but i question whether thats the right kind if player to center in a zelda game .... also not saying all of those that build these crazy things are like that but- ... i hope you know what i mean)

(i know games are always build around the player, or should be, but .. do you get what i mean????? playing in a world that doesnt make sense anymore bc its all a box of toys yeeted into my face isnt fun to me, bc im here not only for gameplay fun but for the world .. theme .. characters, its something that has to be harmonical as a whole for me and totk just .. isnt)

i say it alot but i do really mean it, its very difficult to get my thoughts and feelings written out and to have them come across correctly

[tariah23]

The fact that her summer ascension art isn’t even bad… but it’s a copy and paste of her OG design as well…. Like… this is something else to me. It’s even funnier remembering that Dobrynya’s design is also just a copy and paste of the artists own OC ☠️… well, whatever.

[gideonisms]

I become 300% more of both a lover and a hater when I'm on my period. just a time of the month when I have strong opinions I would say

[sparklecarehospital]

Sometimes I wonder how I'm ever gonna be able to work on the other Spinch stories I have, I have so many ideas for things but only so much fixation power

[marimbles]

i miss carpisuns sometimes </3

[sssssaarn]

Me when unicorns have been such an important part of a my life ever since childhood, and likely fall somewhere under the alterhuman umbrella for me, but I have no clue where:

[moe-broey]

Quick and rough Plumeria redesign, mostly just cause...... I gotta do what comes naturally to me, man. Give me some Shapes. Simplify that design or so help me.

I don't have a lot of complex thoughts about it, actually! Just the idea of having a "sexy" outfit that draws the eyes to certain parts of the body -- while simultaneously being modest and Sharp. Having an edge to it. Also!!!! The luna moth inspired wings!!! I wanted to stay within her og color palette, but I've also always thought luna moth wings would suit her... the top wing is vaguely heart shaped, too!

[grimalkinmessor]

Light's end has always bothered me for multiple reasons (the biggest of which is it not actually being his fault that he lost therefore robbing me of a greater poetic justice but you can't win 'em all), but I think one nobody really talks about is that,,,Light wasn't afraid to die.

Well—he WAS, at the beginning, but part of the reason I'm so obsessed with his relationship with Ryuk is because Ryuk's existence was a constant threat to Light's life. And yet Light never once seemed afraid of him, or tried to cozy up to him, or even attempted manipulate Ryuk into doing things for him. Sure, he bribed him sometimes into going along with his plans, but he was friends with Ryuk. Or—as close to friends as I assume a Light Yagami and a Shinigami can get.

But before Light meets Ryuk, he 100% believes that he's going to die. His frenzy those first few days can be attributed not to any moral righteousness, but to a desperate sort of resignation. Light thinks that he's sold his soul after killing those first two men, so instead of destroying the Death Note, he immediately sets out to make as big of an impact as possible. He wants to go out with a bang! He wants to be remembered! Light is afraid of death in those first days—but he also comes to terms with it somewhere between killing Otoharada and Ryuk showing up. He was ready to go with Ryuk quietly if he was there to take his life or his soul.

But then—he learns that he's not going to die.

The face of a boy excited and relieved.

Light learns that there are no consequences to using the Death Note.

THIS is when he starts getting cocky, when he starts to actually convince himself of all that moral stuff he spouts.

But he's still not afraid of death.

Oh he's afraid of being caught, for sure, and after L humiliated him on live television, he might've even been afraid of execution. Because he'd seen firsthand just how quickly L could turn the tables on him, how he could make Kira look foolish. And Light definitely does not want to be remembered as foolish.

I don't think Light was afraid of actually DYING though, because when Ryuk says "You know I could just kill you", Light laughs. Literally laughing in the face of death. Light KNOWS that Ryuk will eventually kill him, but as long as he goes down the way he wants—on HIS terms—it's fine. Ryuk claiming that he'd be the one to finally end Light might've even been a relief, considering how Light's mind works. A god can only be killed by another god, etc. etc. 'Killed By A Real-life Shinigami' sounds metal as FUCK. Top-tier way to die if you're as much of a gloryhound as Light.

And one thing that irks me is that—the five year gap kind of,,,,takes that, from Light. Light spends so long on top of the world with no real challenge that by the time that Near and Mello show up, he's far more arrogant than he was when he was up against L. Light is, once more, afraid of death. He's lost that tolerance he built up in those pivotal first few days, and he goes out, not in a blaze of glory like he wanted, but clawing and pleading to live like a dog.

Light lost his recklessness, his impatience, his acceptance of the inevitable because he believed that he could now change the inevitable—all somewhere in that five year time skip.

This makes him less likely to get caught, yes, but it also takes away that—that teenage dauntlessness that he had at the beginning. Pre-skip Light feared L and L alone. Only the idea of being caught by someone who could truly tear him down frightened him. Not even death compared.

And I suppose that Light's spiralling at the end is a sort of poetic justice in this case?? But it's not the one I wanted.

I wanted Light's recklessness to blow up in his face. I wanted his carefully curated plans ruined by his own impatient hand. I wanted him to go down much as he probably first intended—in a blaze of glory. I wanted his fall to be explosive and terrifying to the audience. A moral of the story that shoots you right in the chest and really makes you think.

Instead he was reduced to just,,,,another criminal, begging for his life.

Which, yes, I suppose, is also a message in and of itself (all evil figures throughout history have only ever been human, have only ever been men that bleed red at the end of the day, and nothing they've ever done or said will change that), but I also find that....exceedingly boring.

[lala-blahblah]

I will never make this because it would be for an audience of one (me) but ever since reading "If we Were Villains" (story about serious drama kids in college who perform shakespeare and deal with a murder) I have been entertaining the thought of a crack fic crossover with High School Musical The Musical The Series where the staff decides they will no longer put on shakespeare after the tragic accident that happened at Thanksgiving, because Shakespeare plays would only increase the tension and drama. So they hire Ms. Jen who decides their spring play will actually be High School Musical (which exists in the 90s in this universe) and it ruins the vibe so much that everyone gives up on being dark and mysterious because they're universally pissed at Ms Jen for making them learn choreoraphed basketball dancing.

[daforged]

the tired sleeper

[icewindandboringhorror]

... why he sit like this

[ray935sworld]

1, 24, 42 😸

So Don't leave, Tender and Savior - love the idea. It's giving soft fluff vibes. I decided on Marcmarc as a ship

TW: mention of self-hate

Why can't everyone just go away? Except you, you can stay.

Bez was done. He wanted to throw everything away and hide in a corner of his father's shop, never to be seen again. He wouldn't even tell anyone - not Vale, Uccio, Cele, Pecco, Luca, Migno or Franky. No one. No one would knew and he just started a new life away from motogp.

He wanted to get away from the cameras, the stupid questions form the journos that either way only a handful of people would read cause he had lost their interest. He wanted to get away from Pecco's wins and Franco's hopeful attitude and he wanted to get away from Vale's helpful but useless actions.

He felt his stomach burn with disappointment. He had been sure that this time, it'd might work. And he ended in the gravel. He had been sure that he finally found the grip and the way how to handle the bike. Well he had handle it into the gravel. Right into the gravel. Wow. Perfect job.

He wasn't sure how much longer he could handle it. He tried but after all his dnfs and his finished outside the top 10 or the points, he started to question if it really had been talent or simply luck that bought him there.

It must have been luck. Why else would he struggle so much and be regularly out-performed? He just didn't deserve his place in the team - or any team - or motogp in general. He felt tears rise in his eyes.

The thought hurt so much. He wanted it so much. He was so desperate. He clinged to the idea of continuing his life as a motogp rider that the ideal of failure - which was quick to cost him his career in this field - destroyed him.

The self-hate was starting to bubble over. It felt like it was gut wrenching, like his whole inside was being turned upside down while being set on fire.

It hurt so much and he couldn't get rid of it

He tried to run away from it - literally. He was pacing around his motorhome hoping the movement could clear his mind.

As if his whole situation wasn't enough, he heard a key in the door. He wanted to scream. He didn't wanted to be seen like that. He didn't wanted to be cuddle or get affection he didn't deserve. He didn't need anyone's pity.

„JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" he screamed when he saw that the door was being opened to his bedroom. He hadn't even checked who it was.

So now he was standing face to face with his really confused - and shocked, maybe even scared, boyfriend. Bez froze immediately. He had never yelled at Marc. He never though he would or could. He never wanted to scream.

„Okay" Marc whispered and was slowly turning around.

„No." Bez said fastly. The burning in his stomach had disappeared. Instead it was now in his face but this burning was more an embarrassed burning. It was shame at having yelled. „No, please, amore, I... Im sorry. Please. Don't leave."

Marc seemed hesitant but one look in Marcos desperate eyes proved him that leaving him would be the worst idea.

He gave him a tender smile and nodded. Quietly he hold his hand out to Bez, making him decide on their level of physical touch. Even though touch was Bez love language, Marc knew how easy he could be overstimulated, especially when he was a nervous reck like now.

Bez didn't smile back, instead he just reached for the older rider and pulled him closer. He hugged him close, pressed himself against him. He sobbed quietly.

Marc closed his eyes and returned the hug with all his strength. He wanted to make the Italian feel safe - safe and protected in his arms. He hugged him and softly kissed his head. He let his fingers roam through the curls and whispered sweet things about his lover. He wasn't sure he understood or actually heard them but that was okay.

He succeeded. The burning in Marcos cheeks and stomach eased. He didn't feel desperate anymore and he remembered that he couldn't just run away and disappear. He couldn't leave his friends, his family and his lover behind. Simply because there was no place as safe as his lovers arms and he'd give that up for nothing in the world.

He knew how much he and others worked for him to be here and he knew he couldn't give up cause one year didn't go as hoped. He knew all that simply cause Marc wrapped him in his arms.

„You're my savior" Bez whispered and meant it.

[mellotronmkll]

Wverytime I sit down at a computer to make music I get so scared