#i miss when he was 4-5 months and desperate to listen to everything i said to him

[daforged]

the tired sleeper

[cheekypeakyblinder]

𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚂𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚋𝚢 𝚜𝚎𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚢

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11

Franny knew Thomas had gone talking to the Lees after what happened. But he hadn't told anyone about it. Like he has been doing more the last few months. Ada wanted to see Franny she had heard everything from Polly and wanted to see how she was doing. When they met up Freddie wasn't there it was just Ada. And she was looking miserable.

'Ada, are you okay?' Franny asked making a fast pace towards her. 'Just tired and this baby is really pushing my luck the last few weeks.' Franny smiled and helped her sit down. After they had talked about everything that had happened. Ada was even madder than before at Thomas.

'That stupid shit with Kimber.' Ada cursed while brushing Franny's arm. 'If I were still there it would not even have happened in the first place.' Ada spit. 

'And now they left you alone after all that shite with the Lees.' Ada sighed.' You're going to get yourself killed Fran, you need to get out of it while you still can.' Ada said while standing up and looking for an envelope. 'Ada you know I won't just quit.' Franny said looking up at her. 'Fran, the fact that you love John, is not a reason to get yourself killed.' Ada said aloud. To which she fastly shut herself up. They promised to never talk about it so it would be just their secret. It quickly went to why Ada had actually asked for Franny's visit.

And a few hours later she walked into the Garrison. Finding thankfully Thomas the one she was looking for. 'Morning Tommy.' She said. He was smoking a cigarette and drinking a glass of whiskey. He didn't respond to her. Franny closed the small door to the bar. And sat down next to him. Thomas had gotten the envelope. In it was just an address.

'Do you have anything to with this?' He asked her. Franny sat down next to him and took a cigarette out of his pack and lit it. 'I asked an acquaintance for an address.' Franny started. 'She said she would only give it to me anonymously. She's afraid of the consequences. 'Whose address is it?' Thomas asked questions marks in his voice. Franny took the paper with the address on it.

'Tommy I'd like to suggest a strategy.' She said to him. 'I'm listening.' he said to her while throwing back his glass. 

It was the next day and Franny knew what she was needed to do. Ada had told her it was Freddie's deceased mother's birthday and he would go to her grave to bring flowers. She needed to confront him.

So very early Franny went to the graves a big dark green coat on and because of the cold a scarf around her head. And she was right. Around 8 am Freddie walked over towards his mother's grave. He laid the flowers on the grave, and took off his hat. 'It's her birthday today. I know you never miss it.' Franny said as she sat up. Freddie's face turned towards her. He wasn't looking to shabby to see her. 'Then I'm lucky you're not a copper.' He said looking at her. 'What do you want.'

'I came to warn you.' Franny said as she stood up dusting off her knees. 'They lifted Stanley Chapman.' Freddie stood there his facial expression didn't change. 'How do you know? The police don't spill that kind of information.' Freddie asked her.

'I know, it was me and Tommy who tipped them off.' Franny said as she lighted a cigarette. Freddie's face turned a little. 'Tommy did a deal, in return for safe passage for you and Ada, He's given him Stanley and the money.' Franny said puling off her gloves and exhaling the smoke through her nose.

'Money? What Money?' Freddie said to her. Franny didn't say anything and looked at him. 'Who told you about the money?' Freddie asked. 'Who do you think?' Franny said now turning to him. He was looking at her for a few seconds before Franny spoke up.

'Yea, it was Ada's idea. That's how desperate she is to get out of that rat hole you're in.' Franny said now walking towards him. Freddie took a deep breath and sank to his knees like he was thanking his mother's grave. 'She didn't mind if you knew, she just didn't want to be here when you found out.' Franny said putting out her cigarette against a tombstone.

'Sometimes the women have to take over. Like in the war.' Franny said she stood close to Freddie. 'Who the hell do you think you Shelby's are. Hell you're not even a real Shelby, just looking out for their kids and baby sibling like your their slave. Who's the communist now. 

'You swear like that over your mothers grave?' Franny asked him a small smirk on her face. 'They play their tune and they expect the whole world to dance to it. And you're their little bad new teller, doing their dirty work. Like a little...' Freddie was like a preacher preaching away.

'You don't have time for this Freddie.' Franny interrupted him. Then Freddie walked over to her. 'You did a deal? for me?' Freddie said looking at her. 'Don't flatter yourself. I did it for Ada.' Franny interrupted him once again. 'And you think this copper will keep his word.' Freddie said to her. 'If he does your safe, if he doesn't Chapman will give you up. You'll still have to leave town. Same result.' Franny said. 'So neat.' Freddie said trying to keep the better hand. 'So leave.' Franny said looking him dead in the eye.

'Except there's one thing that you got wrong. Stanley won't be able to give up my address. because he doesn't know it. That's how it works None of us know each other's addresses. So you wasted your fucking time.' Freddie explained pointing his hat towards her. 'And they keep beating him and beating him for information he doesn't have. So all you've done is sign the death warrant of a good man.' Freddie added as cherry on top. 'So you won't leave?' Franny asked nicely like nothing that Freddie had spat out had bothered her.

'No! I won't fucking leave! If you want me out of Birmingham, it'll have to be in a wooden box.' Freddie said before he suddenly took Franny her chin in his hands. And she fast as a whip, pulled her gun and pointed it at him. 'You lay a hand on Ada, and I'll put you in a wooden box meself.' She looked at him. Freddie had turned away from her and walked off.

Later that afternoon she was busy in the betting shop. She had been cleaning like crazy with Polly. Billy Kimber was going to take a look at the shop to hopefully give them their betting permit. 'There's a car out front.' John said. 

Pulling a cigar from his lips. Franny rolled her eyes. 'Best if I leave then.' She said. 'Don't kill him play nice, we can show him later.' She said patting John's cheek before she went upstairs. Thomas and her had closed a deal, that she would not be seen when Kimber would be here. Maybe he would see her and put 1 and 1 together. And not give them their betting permit.

Franny went to Ada's room and sat down on her bed. But before she could actually get bored John ran up the stairs. 'Fran are you in here?' He said knocking on the door but also barging in directly. Franny stood up from the bed. 'What's up something wrong?' She asked him. But John his face told her everything she needed to know. 'Really??' She asked him suddenly also very excited. He just nodded and Franny jumped into his arms. John spun her around.

'Finally!' she said smirking. 'We need to get down before Tommy does the announcing to the others.' Franny said as she had John's hand in hers and wanted to pull him to the door. But he didn't move. Making her pull back to him like a rubber band. He catched her and in a swift move and he kissed her. 

Maybe it was because he was so excited. Maybe it was all the work they had put into this. Maybe it was because they both were so in love with each other and they finally had a moment completely alone. Maybe it was because they both had the gut feeling something was going to be terribly wrong soon. It took a few seconds before they broke apart and both looked to the ground. 

'Sorry, heat of the moment' John said coughing awkwardly. Franny softly smiled. 'Let's get downstairs.' And they both went downstairs still excited about everything that was now put into works.

[lubdubsworld]

物の哀れ ( ‘the sadness of things’.)

Alpha Jungkook x Omega Oc!

Genre : Angst , Hurt/ Comfort.

    Chapter 1  ⋆  Chapter 2  ⋆  Chapter 3     Chapter 4  ⋆  Chapter 5   ⋆   

    Chapter 6   Chapter 7     Chapter 8

Summary : Nine months after her marriage ends, Kim Heejin is a reclusive artist, who works out of a renovated warehouse in Busan, her days and nights spent with canvas and paint. Its exactly what she’s ever wanted, to be left alone. And yet, that nagging feeling of incompletion keeps her on her toes. And perhaps, it is that longing for something substantial, something real that pushes her to give her flawed but lovable ex-husband another chance.

Chapter 9

 “I… No. Just… please tell him I’ll be down…I’ll come down to the lobby to meet him.” I said quickly, panicking at the idea of having him here. I’d barely been here a day but this was still my space. And if I had him here then his scent would just seep into every nook and corner. 

The room would smell like him then… And what would I do after he left?

God, what was I even thinking? Head swimming, I crawled to the edge of the bed and breathed shakily. 

It felt surreal, climbing out of the bed and moving to the vanity . I stared at myself in the mirror as I grabbed the makeup bag I kept with me all the time. Wide eyes and parted lips, creamy gold skin turning lily white because of how the blood had just drained after that phone call. 

I looked petrified .

Jungkook… I thought numbly. Jungkook’s waiting downstairs and I’m going to see him. 

What is he thinking.... What is he feeling... why is he even here? 

You’re not responsible for his emotions, Taehyung’s soothing voice in my head helped a bit but not a whole lot. What about my emotions, I though desperately, grabbing the tube of gloss and slowly uncapping it. I ran the end of it over my lips and felt my fingers tremble because I didn’t know why I felt this need …to look beautiful.

I didn’t need to, I though miserably. Everyone knew omegas were beautiful. Beta supermodels were beautiful yes but they couldn’t hold a candle to me, at least for someone like  Jungkook. He was an alpha, his brain was built to find me attractive. I had evolutionary genetics on my side, which mean that if I ever actually wanted to seduce Jungkook , he wouldn’t really stand a chance .

But I didn’t want that.

I had had enough of that. Enough of seeing handsome, rich alphas being reluctantly attracted to me. They made it obvious too. Most of the hate mail I got stemmed from angry wives or girlfriends accusing me of seducing their men , even though  I’d never so much as laid my eyes on them. It was so unfair. 

I didn’t enjoy watching them lose their minds at the sight and scent of me, because i knew that deep down,  they thought that all omegas were scum. 

Manipulative, sex driven , greedy and selfish . Those were the labels I got plastered with , on the media and on the streets. 

And Jungkook wasn’t different, I reminded myself firmly, pulling away from the mirror and grabbing the loose powder and dusting down some of it on the apple of my cheeks and down the length of my nose. 

He didn’t think any different than the others. Jungkook’s views on omegas were just as archaic and bigoted as everyone else’s .

He just didn’t act on them .

Sighing, I dropped the lipgloss back in the back and brushed my hair off my face. On a whim , I pulled off the hair tie holding the thick strands together, letting the wavy tresses fall over my shoulder. I hadn’t cut my hair in a long time and it felt to my hips now. My stylist was adamant that it added to my aesthetic.

  A primal siren, she had said staring at me in awe, like something eternal and beautifully dangerous. We’re lucky you seem incapable of hate, Heejin ...because I think you could bring grown men to their knees with that body and that face. 

I felt nauseous at the thought of it.   

Walking to the elevator felt like walking the plank and I had stop a couple of times, just to breathe deeply. I had to be smart about this. I was in therapy. Taehyung had taught me how to handle situations like this and while my heart was pounding too hard and my brain was too scrambled to use any of his therapy techniques, I still had some of my cognitive abilities intact. 

He came here, i thought desperately. 

He came looking for you and that means he isn’t nervous or worried or overthinking this because he doesn’t have feelings for you. If you want to come out of this  unscathed, you need to get your head on straight. You need to pretend that you didn’t just have a minor mental breakdown at the thought of him dating someone else. 

I took a deep breath, exhaling sharply before stepping into the elevator. The ride down to the lobby was barely a few seconds and when I stepped out, I realized the place was way too crowded for such an exclusive Hotel. And then I remembered that people were here for the Art Festival. I glanced at the reception desk, covertly, noting a conspicuous lack of Jeon Jungkook. The lady behind the desk held her hand up when she spotted me .

“Ms. Kim? Mr. Jeon just went to get you a drink...He’s over by the breakfast counter over there.” She pointed out the dining space where people were walking about getting breakfast and I swallowed, feeling hot and cold as I cautiously stepped into the crowd, trying to find a that familiar head of thick dark hair. 

I felt the apprehension build as I tugged on my bottom lip between my teeth, trying to reign in the chaos in my mind but it was impossible, everything too loud and too messy. I looked around and then, it hit me. 

His scent. 

I felt my lips part in surprise, and it felt like someone had turned the volume down , noises fading into a dull hum at the back of my mind as I stared at him. He hadn’t spotted me yet and I took a second to just....look.

He looked incredible.

There was really no other word for it. Incredibly handsome, Incredibly beautiful and so incredibly perfect as the late morning sun lit up the room, picking out the shine on his white silk shirt. I breathed in deep, my mindeasily picking out the musky pine scent of him and I stepped closer, moving straight towards him and I caught the exact moment my scent his senses.

He jerked a bit, nostrils flaring and eyes going wide before he turned, lips parted and gaze a bit unfocused as he looked around.

When he caught sight of me, he just blinked. 

I smiled weakly, body going limp with relief because.... because this was Jungkook. Not some monster I had to run from. This was Jungkook....even at his worst he had been better than some of the other people I’d met in life. 

I looked down at the drink in his hand and smiled a bit as he made his way over. 

“ This isn’t the same as buying me a coffee.” I said shakily as he finally stepped upto me.

His eyes danced with warmth. 

“What makes you think I can afford one? Besides, aren’t you the hotshot artist? Shouldn’t you be the one buying me stuff?” He said softly. 

“Just saw you on the front cover of a magazine. We both know you’re far from destitute..” Even through the smile, I felt the tug of emotion as I stared at him, felt the difference in him like night and day, the light and joy and ...contentment that seemed to radiate off him .

He smiled and held the drink out to me gently.

“ Heejin-ah.” He whispered. 

And somehow it was the sound of his voice, wrapping around the syllables of my name that finally did it. 

I felt the tears brim over, my lips parting in choked laughter as I stepped close and wrapped both my arms around him, burying my face in his neck and breathing him in. I felt him hold me, infinitely gentle and I exhaled sharply.

“I didn’t miss you,  at all.” I said shakily. He laughed lightly. 

“I missed you , too.” He stroked the back of my head gently and I sighed, fingers curling on the silk of his shirt. The fabric felt like liquid in my fingers and I played with it for a second, intensely aware that people were starting to stare. That this embrace had gone on for longer than social norms dictated but I couldn’t bring myself to care, letting my chin rest against his shoulder blades. 

And it was almost frightening.....how easy it was to pretend we weren’t broken at all. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“She was so small when I last held her... I can’t believe she’s running around.” I said, awed, listening to Jungkook tell me about how Mina liked to climb everywhere. He laughed, shaking his head. 

"She’s growing bigger everyday. I can barely keep up.” Jungkook smiled, holding a hand out for me to step over the wooden slats that lined the tiny archway that led to the door to his building. I hesitated before lightly gripping his hand in mine, the gesture somehow feeling more intimate that it was. 

“You’re not staying at the Firenze?” I asked curiously, resisting the urge to reach for his hand again when he let go.

it was such a ridiculous thing but I’d never held hands with him. And It felt ridiculously nice, to slot my fingers with his, feel them in between mine. His palm against mine, calloused but somehow so comforting. 

 I’d forgotten how warm he was.

 Don’t. Don’t fall down this rabbit hole again, Heejin. We talked about this. He doesn’t think of you that way. He doesn’t. And neither should you. its unfair to him. He doesn’t deserve that. 

“No... As you can see my apartment is barely ten minutes away and Soeun has her exams so its easier for her to watch over Mina here at the apartment.

“Soeun?” I asked curiously.

“Park Soeun? She’s a University student who lives with me. She’s doing a correspondence course in fashion . So she’s home all the time and she helps out with Mina. And she speaks Italian so that’s a huge plus... ” He smiled. “ you’ll like her. She’s a good kid.” 

 Don’t make that face. Don’t fucking make that face, Heejin.

I struggled to keep my face straight , like I wasn’t feeling the weight of a dozen bricks at the base of my stomach. 

“A roommate...then..?” I asked quietly and he shrugged.

“Something like that. But mostly she helps take care of Mina when I’m out on an assignment.” He smiled and led me past two flight of stairs up to the studio apartment. 

I wrapped my arms around myself as he stopped in front of a wrought iron grill, gripping one end and sliding it open with ease. And then he rang the small bell n the side. I shuffled back and forth on my foot, heart racing. 

The door opened and I blinked because of how young the girl who opened the door was. A second later she was beaming, moving forward and wrapping both her arms around me.

“Unnie!” She squealed, hugging me so close that I almost choked. Completely thrown I could only gape at Jungkook who was laughing . 

“Oh, I forgot to mention..she’s a bit of a fan. “ He teased lightly and I smiled awkwardly, watching as she pulled back to stare at me, her gaze trained on my face unblinkingly. 

“Whoa...” She reached out and lightly touched my cheek with her forefinger making me jump. She flinched as well, flushing red.

“Shit..sorry...I just... I’ve never... I’ve never met an omega before.” She said softly. “ You’re absolutely breathtaking.”

I felt my heart pound, steeping back instinctively, an overwhelming urge to hide , anxiety pooling in my stomach as she continued to stare at me. I hated the attention and I wrapped my arms around myself. 

“Soeun, enough. Don’t make it weird.” Jungkook said sternly, voice hard and the girl immediately flushed, bowing apologetically. 

“Sorry...I.. sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable ... You’re pretty.” She said again before turning to Jungkook.

“I have to get some stuff for my exhibit, Jungkook oppa... Mina’s asleep. i’ll be staying over at Vince’s place for the night though. Is that okay?”

“Sure..have fun.” Jungkook smiled, “ Vince is her boyfriend.” He explained and Soeun nodded happily. 

“Italian men are absolutely amazing unnie...you should try some.” She winked and I laughed despite myself.

“I just might...” I said with a grin, watching as she walked over to slip on a pair of sneakers from the small shoe closet near the door. She waved enthusiastically all but bouncing away and I blinked at him , shaking my head.

“I feel a hundred years old right now.” I said softly, still stunned by the girl’s exorbitant energy. Jungkook laughed at that

“She definitely has that effect on people... Come on, I’ll show you around.” He held his hand out and I smiled , taking his fingers mine and letting him tug me further into the studio apartment. 

I looked around, taking in the full blown prints of Mina and Jungkook , caught in adorable poses in front of different tourist spots in Florence. I saw how much she looked like Jungkook now, and how openly affectionate they looked together, the love evident even in the still photos. 

And then my eyes fell on a familiar painting , my stomach lurching. 

“You... “ i turned to him in a rush and he was staring at me with a small smile.

“I had to bring that. It pretty much saved me, that painting.” He said casually, stepping close and running his fingers all over the print. 

“When you told me this is how Sooah saw me...” He traced the picture carefully before glancing at me,” it made me realize that Sooah didn’t just want a baby.....she wanted a baby with  me. She saw me as a father. As someone who could raise and nurture a tiny human  and that... that’s amazing isn’t it?” He sighed, staring at me.  

He looked beautiful, I thought with an ache deep inside me. The most beautiful man I’d ever seen in my life and it seemed almost too good to be true. That he was here, at reach. So close. I wondered if this was it. This had to be a sign. A sign that we’d come full circle. That it was over. That we could finally break free from all that we’d been through, and look back at Jungkook’s past with fondness instead of pain.

And perhaps, just perhaps I could reach out and touch him with something more than just the love you have for a friend. . Perhaps I could reach out and touch him, without feeling guilt and foreboding.

I exhaled shakily stepping up and running my fingers over the canvas. It was nothing fancy... Just a painting a painting of Jungkook holding Mina up by her waist, high over his head, staring up into her face with all the love and adoration in the world, The child in the painting doesn’t look exactly like Mina, of course, but I’d had no idea , seeing as Sooah had commissioned the painting when she was pregnant. But Jungkook.... Jungkook looked exactly like he did now : Happy and at peace. 

“You’re alright, then?” I asked quietly , a wealth of meaning behind the words and he smiled , nodding gently. 

“I’m fine…” He whispered , “ And I’m so glad I can tell you that, like this. Thank you for coming , Heejin-ah . I know you owe me nothing but.. I wanted to show you that… it wasn’t all bad you know. What we went through… Something good did come out of it.” He whispered.

I choked out a sob.

“I lied.” I whispered. “ I did miss you. Even when I knew I shouldn’t.”

Jungkook’s gaze softened.

“I have a lot to be sorry for. But I don’t want to remind you of those things. I just want you to know that… I understand what you went through…those six months. I understand that it was difficult and painful and i… I’m grateful that you didn’t give up on me. And I’m grateful that you stayed in my life.  Because I know I didn’t deserve that.”

“You deserve to be loved Jungkook.” I said quietly. “ Its not wrong to move on. You deserve to… find happiness again.”

He stared at me, his gaze soft and gentle.

“I can almost believe it, when you say it that way.” He laughed. “ And… you know… I’m not sure if its love. But there’s someone I’ve been…. Well, I can sort of see myself with her. .” He grinned a little, smile boyish as he ran his fingers through his hair. He glanced at me and I felt my heart skip a beat.

Wait… was he going to?....

“ I met her at Taehyung’s practice, a year ago. Her name is Lee Hyorin.” Jungkook looked at me, doe eyes shining with excitement.

And just like that the world ended.

Or so it felt.

It was like being dipped in icy cold water, the shock of it rendering me speechless, lips parted and breath catching in lungs.

Blood rushed through my ears, so fast that I felt lightheaded, my legs nearly giving out. White noise filled my skull, pain lancing sharp through my heart like a thousand paper cuts, and I couldn’t really breathe. It took a few seconds…. For my heart to catch up with what my mind had just processed. And when it finally did, the pain was so excruciating, I had to clench my fists, nails digging into the flesh of my palm to ground myself.

“She’s an alpha…and she lost her husband around the same time Sooah passed..” Jungkook gave me a soft smile. “ She’s actually a curator at one of the museums here. She’s the one who made all the arrangements for me to move here to Florence. ”

“Wow… That’s…” devastating,. “ That’s good news. Jungkook.. I.. How long…” My voice cracked, and I had to swallow. “ How long have you guys been dating?”

“About three months now. We’re taking it very slow, because we aren’t really ready. She has a son too. He’s three years old. Mina loves him so that’s a plus.” He laughed.

My lungs constricted, breathing difficult and my head swam because ….. what. Realization set in so quickly, I was left reeling. I was in love with this bastard, I thought miserably. So in love with him that it felt like he was shredding my heart into ribbons. Every word of his mouth felt like a sharp deep stab, straight through the center of my heart and the pulsing, beating organ was on the verge of giving out.

“She’s going to be there at the dinner tonight at the Festival. She’s one of the organizers by the way. She’s kind of the reason I got in, I think.” He laughed , looking abashed and what a load of bull that was. Jungkook was successful and well known. Superbly talented at his chosen field. She was lucky to have him.

How can she have him when I’m the one who fixed him? How is that fucking fair?

“She really understands the things I’ve been going through, the past few months and because we both still attend therapy with Taehyung, we’re able to talk about a lot of stuff. Stuff I can’t share with others…” Jungkook was saying and I tuned him out, not wanting to hear another word.

I swallowed, choking on bile. I could feel sweat gathering on my scalp, my skin clammy and damp , the air between us shifting into something poisonous and filled with so much dismay, it was a miracle he hadn’t picked up on it.

Couldn’t he sense how distressed I was? Couldn’t he see how his words were hurting? Couldn’t he fucking see that I couldn’t live without him? Why on earth couldn’t he see me the way he apparently saw every other woman on the damn planet…..

Because he’s a shitty Alpha, I thought miserably, willing myself not to burst into tears. He was a shitty excuse for an alpha back then and he’s the same now.

A low, distressed cry began somewhere behind him and he jumped.

“Oh, shit she’s up… come on, Heejin.” He said with a bright smile, turning around and rushing down a small hallway and I willed myself to breathe in deeply, reminding myself that this wasn’t the end of the world. I could get through this. Besides, it was Mina.

Beautiful, perfect Mina who had been there for me. She would see me and she would give me that sweet gummy smile of hers, does eyes twinkling and I would get through this. Because her smile was what was important. Her smile and her joy and her happiness.

The sobbing had slowed down to small hiccups and I stepped past the threshold cautiously, watching as Jungkook bent over the large crib, carefully lifting her out and into his arms. She looked breathtaking, an absolutely gorgeous little girl . I stared, mesmerized as I stepped closer. My arms ached, and my chest tightened. Lips wobbling, I exhaled sharply, moving to reach for her.

She turned to glance at me and just as my fingers brushed her cheek, she recoiled.

Hard.

A loud wail tore through her tiny body and I felt my eyes go wide. Her casual little cry had turned into a sobbing , loud wail and I could smell the distress in her , the fear and distrust as she curled away from me.  Jungkook looked stunned as well, instinctively drawing her close and embracing her, moving away from me because….

Because I was the reason, she was distressed.  

My skin went ice cold at the revelation and I stumbled back, stunned.

“I… I’m sorry.” I choked out, confused and disoriented. Jungkook looked stricken, gently rocking her back and forth and she clung to him, gripping his shirt and I bit my lips, moving further back and I glanced at him, my heart shattering.

“She’s …She’s still sleepy… She doesn’t do well with strangers…” He said softly, looking upset, “ Maybe you could…wait outside…”

Stranger…. Was that what I was?

“I… I’ll go. I’ll just go.” I turned on my heel, rushing out of the door and struggling to breathe in air, my heart clenching so hard I was sure I was going to pass out. I felt my knees give out when I reached the couch, dropping down and drawing my knees up , wrapping my arms around my legs . I didn’t know how long I sat there, fighting sobs and choking on air…and when I finally came to myself, the sobs from the room had died out.

“She’s fallen asleep again.” Jungkook’s voice cut through the silence and I couldn’t bring myself to look up. I felt him move closer, felt his scent hit me as he stepped right up to me, kneeling on the floor in front of me.

I looked up at him, lips wobbling as I took in his handsome face.  A face that was so deeply carved into my heart and my soul, I couldn’t imagine living without it. Without him. The tears came then, helpless and endless and so painful.

He pressed in closer, cupping my face in his palms, thumb brushing the tears that spilled over so relentlessly.

“Heejin…” He whispered and I let my fingers curl around his wrist as his thumb kept brushing the curve of my cheeks. I took a deep , shaky breath .

“She doesn’t remember me….  “ I whispered, “ She doesn’t recognize me at all…She hates me……” I choked out , despair filling every last crevice of my insides, gut twisting as I remembered how Mina had twisted away from me, how her scent had soured in distress at the sight of me, at the touch of my fingers.

 And I wondered if it was different with this other woman..Hyorin, wasn’t it? Did Mina climb into her arms with ease? Did she curl into her chest and sleep? The way she used to with me,  when she was a month old and missing the warmth of a mother.. ….

All those nights spent in that tiny nursery, lying on the cold unforgiving floor, watching the rise and fall of Mina’s chest through the dark room…telling myself it was worth it… it was worth being touched against my will, worth being treated like filth by a man driven mad with grief and anger….all because of this baby…this tiny little baby who had needed me….

And now…she didn’t even know who I was…..worse…she was repulsed by the very sight of me… I couldn’t cope.

“Look at me…” Jungkook rasped, voice raw and cracking. “she doesn’t hate you, Heejin… she just … you feel new to her… different…” 

I shook my head, unable to think about anything beyond the sheer devastation that filled me, the way his daughter had pulled away and run, had refused to come anywhere near me. I realized with lancing pain that I’d wanted to see her, way more than I’d wanted to see Jungkook .

Because she was the reason I’d hung on for so long in that marriage which had been the biggest fucking mistake of my life…. the only reason I’d stuck around . Mina …Having her in my arms, her scent against my face, that had been the only genuine happiness I’d experienced  in a marriage filled with sheer , unending misery. 

“I… she… Why doesn’t she remember? “ I breathed, sagging into his arms, tears soaking his shoulders and his palm ran up and down my back.

“Because she was a baby. Heejin…. I left when she was a baby…”

“Why did you?” I snapped. “ Did it hurt you so much? The thought of living under the same sky as me ? Why you did you go?” I demanded.

Jungkook pulled back, hands coming up to grip my shoulder, holding me at arms length.

“Look at me.” He whispered. “ I had to … You know I had to go….I was hurting you. I was… I was draining you of life. Destroying you… “

Jungkook’s words reminded me of who he was. Of who I was… Of who I was to him.

I choked out, sobbing.

“I hate you. You treated me like scum. Like a crutch….. Like some sort of tool to get better and you just left… you…”

You found someone better. You broke me down and now you’ve gone and found someone better….because I was never good enough for you… I was never someone you could love….

“I had to let you go. I had to end that relationship because it was tainted with so much grief and anger and selfishness and greed. I knew that anything I did afterwards would be tainted by my actions… I… I had to make amends, Heejin. And do you think for a second, that it wasn’t the hardest thing I ever did? That walking out on you wasn’t one of the most devastating things I’ve ever experienced? But I did it for us… for this…” 

I stared at him.

“And what is this?” I asked brokenly.

“This is me, being able to touch you like this.” Jungkook pressed a palm to my cheek, “ And not feeling guilt or sadness or grief or loss.  I did it so we could have this…this… This thing where I can look at you and hold you and see that you’re healing. That you’re doing better… That you’re living the life you want…. That you’re happy. This is me standing here , in front of you and smiling because I’m happy too. Happy that you’re here.  ” He exhaled, “ I’m happy that despite all the hurt we’ve been through for and because of each other, I can look at you now and tell you, honestly, that I’m glad to see you.” 

What a joke.. What a fucking joke.

I smiled shakily.

“Well… “ I said softly, my stomach churning because I was done. Done with him and mostly with myself. “ Isn’t that absolutely wonderful.”

His gaze softened and he smiled.

“I want us to be friends, Heejinah. Even though we don’t see or talk to each other, I think of you often. And when Mina’s old enough to understand , I’ll tell her all about you… I want you in our lives. You’re a friend. ”

I stared at him , feeling the words echo in my skull . It left an acrid taste on my senses, the way he put me into this neat little box, friend. So ….insignificant. Everyone had hundreds of friends. There was nothing even remotely special about being someone’s friend.

Friend just meant replaceable and forgettable. And just like Mina didn’t remember me…. Someday Jungkook wouldn’t either. The knowledge filled my veins spreading all over my body and leaving a fierce, heavy ache in my chest.

It was my fault, I thought despondently. My fault because I had been an idiot.

Jungkook was the sane one here , I thought miserably. These nine months, while I’d been dwelling on him and worrying for him…he had done the healthy thing , by moving on with someone he could actually envision a future with….

What had I done, these past nine months? Dreamt up a fantasy world where somehow we found our way back to each other and built a life together… It seemed so foolish now, in the light of Jungkook’s words and his confession….

Jungkook had done all of this, not for me…but for himself. For his daughter whom he loved and for his wife , whose memory he wanted to honor. And perhaps it was my own delusion that made me think that I’d played some stellar role in his healing…. Maybe if I hadn’t been there, he would have gotten better just the same…. Maybe I hadn’t been a tool …as much as a hindrance …to his healing.

I shook my head, bitterness coating my tongue.

“I should get going.” I whispered , voice shaking.

This is it, I told myself. This is the last time you look at him with that heaviness in your heart. You deserve better. You deserve… a lot of things. And just because people don’t give it to you doesn’t mean you have to settle for less……

“So soon? Hyorin will be back in a couple of hours… I could show you some of my work, and we could get lunch ….”

I shook my head quickly. I didn’t want to meet her in his home. Didn’t want to see him being domestic and affectionate and …normal with her when all I’d ever seen was Jungkook in his anger and grief, either yelling abuses or gripping me with a lust that was tainted with violence and rage. I stared at his hands, the ones I’d liked holding….

How did I forget? That those were the same hands that had held me down and done things that should, rightfully have landed him in prison?

I shook my head, to clear the images out of my head. Looking at him now,  Jungkook looked eager, happy and healed. And I realized that he’d just pushed all of his own actions out of his mind. Forgotten all about it. And that was fair. He probably didn’t even remember any of it. He had been drunk out of his mind, lost in his head and surely, forgetting must’ve been easy… A relief.

I didn’t begrudge him that.

But…

I hadn’t been drunk. I’d been stone cold sober under him on that bed and so, maybe forgetting didn’t come that easily for me. And I was glad that Jungkook could move on and be happy but….

But I couldn’t stay here and pretend that it was the same for me. I wasn’t happy or healed, I thought miserably. And maybe , maybe the sight of him moving on was a sign that I had to stop thinking that healing meant going back to him and his daughter.

“Heejin… What’s wrong? Is it because of Mina.. she’s just not used to…” He began but I quickly pressed a palm to his chest, smiling.

“Strangers.” I said softly. “ I know. That’s not it… You know I have to introduce my exhibit at dinner tonight. I don’t know what the itinerary is or what I’m supposed to say…. None of it.. I need to meet my agent and prep myself a bit. Its alright…I’ll see you tonight.” I said softly.

“I’m sorry… I can’t walk you back because Mina-“

“Of course. Don’t worry about it…. I’ll just…”

The doorbell rang, startling me.

“Jungkook!” A strong voice called out and I went still.

“Hyorin?” Jungkook’s face lit up and I felt my stomach churn. God, the universe really was against me wasn’t it? Sighing in defeat, I wrapped my arms around myself, sitting back down on the couch and waiting.

Behind me , I could hear hushed whispers, soft laughter and shuffling feet. My mouth went dry.

“Ms. Kim….”

I turned around, greeted by the sight of a tall, strapping young woman, pretty by any standards. She was dressed in a pant suit , her hair long and straight, hitting the top of her shoulders. She looked smart… Important.

“Ms. Lee… Its nice to meet you.”

She held her hand out and I shook it gently.  Jungkook smiled at her fondly and his phone rang from somewhere inside the studio.

“Hang on that’s probably Soeun…” He smiled at me and moved away and I watched him leave before shifting my gaze to Hyorin, who was staring down at me with a small smile.

“Are you here in Italy by yourself? Or with one of your many …uh… patrons ?” She smirked.

I blinked.

“Patrons?” I asked softly. “ Excuse me?”

“Jungkook and I’ve been following all the stories about you, back in Korea. You get around quite a lot… don’t you? Every alpha within a 100 mile radius wants a piece of the lovely Kim Heejin… And honestly, could anyone blame them? You look exquisite.”

I stared at her, stunned. The implication was so obvious that I would be an idiot not to realize what she was hinting at. So this was the woman , Jungkook chose? Yet another prejudiced bigot?

I laughed a bit, feeling my heart sink.

“I’m not seeing anyone. If that’s what you’re asking.” I said quietly.

Hyorin smirked at that.

“Of course you aren’t… We all know that isn’t really something your kind does… monogamy, right?”

“Do you have a problem with me Hyorin ssi?” I asked roughly and she laughed.

“Oh come on.. we’re all adults, here. And Heejin, you  agreed to be a part of this festival, knowing full well, that’s what we think . Its because deep down you know I’m right….. Omegas can’t stay with one alpha. They need sex to survive and they are usually open to it with anyone. Not that I’m blaming you or judging you for it. It’s just how you’re built.”

I smiled wide, ignoring the urge to claw at her face. .

“Well, you’ve definitely got me all figured out haven’t you? “ I shook my head, glancing at Jungkook who was making his way over.

“What are you talking about?” He asked curiously and I smiled, glancing at her.

“ Hyorin ssi was just telling me how my sub gender makes it impossible for me to not go around whoring with every alpha I see…….” I glanced at him and Jungkook straightened, looking stunned, “ Well, I hope you two enjoy your beautiful monogamous relationship with each other something an omega like me can only fantasize about…. Right Jungkook?” I smiled and he looked completely lost.

“Wait…What? Hyorin what did you say?” He demanded and she was glaring at me now.

“Please don’t take it personally, I was only talking about omegas in general. “ Hyorin frowned, before bowing and moving away to stalk off in the direction of the bedrooms and I watched her, feeling dirty and terrible.

“Heejin, ignore her.. she’s just old fashioned and-“

“Is that what you’re going to call it?” I snapped and Jungkook froze.

“Heejin…”

I shook my head in disbelief.

“I’m not upset about what she said. I’m upset that she feels comfortable enough, spouting that bullshit to me , in your house. Makes me wonder what else she’s told you about omegas, and how much of it you probably agreed with.”

Jungkook stared at me , lips parted.

“I… I don’t feel that way. You know that.” He said stiltedly.

“Do I? All I know is that she knows about me, about who I am and apparently, she can call me a slut…. In front of you, without worrying about it upsetting you. And that tells me you’re as much of a bigot as she is.”

“Heejin… You know that’s not it. We all grow up being fed certain things and –“

“But you did grow up right?” I snapped. “ you grew up and you can think and act for yourself. As can she. Once you’re an adult, you don’t have a single fucking excuse for being racist or homophobic or bigoted because being an adult means having the ability to unlearn the toxic things you’ve been taught and relearn how to be a decent fucking human.”

I shook my head as he stared at me.

“And you know what…please just… just don’t call me or consider me as a friend.” I laughed. “ Because I don’t think I can consider you one. Not anymore. You can’t…...You can’t just love certain parts of me and be disgusted by others you know? I don’t need a friend who can care about me and love me and help me as long as he can forget that I’m an omega….. I need a friend who can love every jagged, broken , part of me. Who can call out people who talk bullshit at me , who can look someone in the eye and tell them they’re wrong when they’re calling me names  and that’s not who you are……. You’re not it.” I snapped.

Jungkook looked stricken, reaching out to hold me and I stepped away, annoyed.

“I’m sorry, Heejin, you’re right … I’ll talk to her… I’ll…” He began but I shook my head.

“Whatever.  Just don’t call me a friend. We can’t be friends. Let’s just be what we always were , yeah? A big fucking mistake that never should have happened.”

I stormed out of the door, shaking.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What do you mean, there are no flights available for today?” I snapped. “Tell them money isn’t an issue. I need to get out of this place right now.”

Minho looked incredibly stricken, hair messy from how often he’d run his fingers through.

“ We just arrived seven hours ago, Hee. Of course there’s no flight yet…. We can stay another day…attend the dinner and-“

“No.” I snapped. “ Absolutely not. I’m not here because they find my art good  or worth putting up. I’m here because they know the alphas around here will want to pay more , to pour in more cash for a chance with me.” I held the embossed booklet up, waving it in his face.

“Heejin…” He protested but I shook my head.

“ Did you see the cost to get into my pane ?. Extra ….for alphas? And yet…apparently they had to pre book it and its filled? You think any of the lecherous bastards who paid money to see me , gives a shit about my art?  And apparently, there’s a meet and greet, for alphas only if they purchase seven or more paintings worth over 10000 Euros. Do you think, that’s what I’m worth?”

Minho looked down at his shoes, ashamed.

“I .. I’m sorry, Hee. You’re right. Its offensive . And an insult to your art and talent. We shouldn’t have come here, you’re right. And I regret it… But just… give me a few hours, yeah? I’ll find a way to get us out of here….”

I exhaled sharply, exhaustion weighing heavy on my head. I felt like I’d taken a pounding, physically and mentally and I wondered how a day that had started so well, could go so wrong, so fast…

Shaking my head, I trudged wearily to the elevator, knocking on the buttons before sagging against the wall, letting my eyes flutter shut.

Jungkook was dating.

Jungkook was dating. His girlfriend thought I was a slut and here I was about to prove her right.

I wanted to slit someone’s throat.

Sighing, I watched the door slide open, grabbing my keys out of my bag,  and moving to the suite. I opened the door before making a beeline for the bed. I collapsed on the soft duvet, groaning. I was torn between wanting to call Taehyung to yell at him about Jungkook and calling Minho to demand an update on the flights.

I was spared the dilemma when the phone in the room rang. Groaning, I moved to swat at the phone, turning on the speaker.

“Ms. Kim? There’s a Mr. Jeon here to see you?”

I blinked, feeling disbelief swell inside me. Did he not get the hint?

Annoyed, I sat up.

“Send him up.” I said, in no mood to go all the way down to see him.

“Up?” She sounded surprised, “ To your room?”

“Yes. To my room. Is that a fucking problem?” I growled, annoyed.

“Not at all Ms. Kim. He’ll be right up.”

I got out of bed, shrugging off my jacket and taking off my dress as well. It was a little damp because I’d sweated through the fabric. I grabbed one of my oversized t shirts , slipping it on and moving to open the door before retreating back to the inner room. Feeling annoyed, I walked up to the vanity and grabbed the hair brush, running the bristles through my locks. I heard his footsteps outside and stiffened.

“If you’re here to defend your shitty girlfriend, you can just leave Jungkook. I swear to God, I’ve had enough of this.” I shouted. He didn’t reply and my hackles rose.

“Listen, I’m sorry if I said something harsh-“ I froze when I reached the doorway, staring at the man in front of me. He had a large , almost humongous bouquet of wild orchids and roses in his hand and I stared at his face.  

This was definitely not Jungkook.

“Umm… hi.” The man bowed awkwardly, his gaze going straight to my legs, where my t shirt ended, just a couple of inches past my waist. I felt the blood rush to my face.

“Who are you…Get out !!!” I shouted, horrified, diving for my jacket and holding it up against my bare thighs. The man held both his hands up, eyes wide..

“I’m sorry… I… you said I could come up to your room….” He protested and I scowled, confused.

“What? “ I stared, stunned… “ Who…what?”

“I’m Wonwoo. Jeon Wonwoo. I’m uh….one of the sponsors for this festival. And a fan. Huge fan.” He was staring at me beseechingly and I felt my head begin to throb.

The sheer relentlessness of this day…..

“I… Mr. Jeon…” So weird, God, “ There’s been a misunderstanding. I’m not…. I thought you were someone else.”

“Jungkook yes…your ex husband, right? You were married to him for six months after he lost his wife….. He’s also one of the artists exhibiting their work here.” He nodded quickly, running long fingers through thick glossy hair, lips parting in a hesitant smile and I stared at him.

“How do you know all that? ” I demanded, heart pounding. He immediately held his hands up again.

“I’m sorry… I sound like a stalker, shit. But Trust me I’m not. I just am a huge fan.. I looked up some stuff about you….before.” He shuffled a bit awkwardly, finally looking up at me.

I tried to catch his scent. No scent to speak of. A beta then. Relaxing just a bit, I swallowed. At least I wasn’t in any immediate danger. But still, I had no intention of letting him see me in nothing but a t shirt. Embarrassed, I gripped the jacket tighter.

“Why are you here?” I demanded angrily, taking in his appearance. He didn’t look like a hoodlum or someone dangerous. He was good looking, dressed in a white t shirt and black Jacket over plain black slacks. His shoes looked expensive and I didn’t miss the shiny Rolex on his wrist either,.

“Well, for one thing I own the Hotel.” He chuckled and that made my stomach turn. “And also like I said, I’m one of the main sponsors for the Festival itself.”

“Right.” I was too disoriented to process this, head throbbing. “Of course. Is there a reason why you wanted to see me?”

“I was downstairs…just now… I couldn’t help but overhear you with your agent. You wanted to leave as soon as possible. To pull out of the event and I’m just here to try and change your mind, Ms. Kim.” He smiled earnestly and I realized he was really quite young.

I sighed.

“Could you… Could you wait outside? I want to put some clothes on before we talk any further.” I said tiredly and he bowed quickly.

“Uh… These…I’ll just leave these here.” He placed the large bunch of flowers on the table before quickly leaving the room and I swore, racing to the suitcase in the corner. I quickly grabbed a pair of jeans, slipping them on hastily and zipping myself up before glancing at the mirror again. This would have to do.

I moved to the door and opened it, finding him right there, looking lost.

“I… come in, please.” I said hesitantly and he bowed again, moving in and waiting for me to close the door and take a seat on the couch, before sinking into an arm chair across from me.

“Did you see the itinerary? It doesn’t get more sexualized than this.” I waved the booklet and he flushed.

“I understand you’re upset about … certain things. I’m sorry that you feel objectified , in the festival. It wasn’t the intention I had when I first told Hyorin and the others that I wanted them to invite you. But , I’ve been busy the past month, and I didn’t go over the complete agenda. If I did, I definitely would have made sure that you were treated with just as much respect as the others. Unfortunately, there’s not much I can do now, but I’ve had a word with all of the panelists and also the hosts. We won’t entertain any question or comments of a sexual nature and if anyone tries to insinuate anything , I’ll have them removed from the panel myself. “ He said firmly.

“I’m only here because you told me you would exhibit my mother’s works too.” I said sharply and he bowed.

“ Your mother’s works are just as exquisite and I’ve arranged for them to be displayed right at the center of the arena, with a running slide show of her childhood , her art technique and the great love she had for her daughter.” He said firmly.

I could only stare. He sounded incredibly sincere and there was no mistaking the earnestness in his tone.

“I’m….” I bit my lips, “  Listen, Mr. Jeon, I’m flattered but honestly, I never wanted to be here. I… there was … something else that made me want to come and well, that turned out to be a huge mistake. To be honest, I’m not sure if I have it in me to suffer through days of people treating me like I’m some kind of sex crazed bimbo.” I shook my head.

“how about this.? You let me be your date for tonight and you let me display your work, today at the dinner itself. I’ll be right by your side. And then, I’ll have my private jet on standby and we can fly back to Korea. You deserve the spotlight, Heejin and I want people to see how good you are at what you do. I don’t care if I lose money over this… As long as you’re comfortable. ”

I gawked at him, stunned.

“Private Jet?” I choked out. “ Okay, now I’m genuinely concerned.”

He laughed.

“I’m a Hotelier, and I have properties all over the world and I like to inspect them personally most of the time. Its more practical to have a private jet than to try and align my schedules with everyone else.” He smiled.

“Right. Convenient.” I shook my head. “ I’m no stranger to excessive wealth, Mr. Jeon and trust me, it’s always left a  sour taste in my mouth.”

“I don’t flaunt my wealth, Ms. Kim. These clothes? Got them on the streets of Florence. I drive a Mazda. Wealth has no meaning to me. People do. People like you, who bring beauty into the world with their craft. You’ve made my world beautiful and I just want to repay , in some way.” He smiled,  “ Also,  You’re very  beautiful.” He added and then immediately looked away. “ I’m sorry. That was… dumb . I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry if that made you uncomfortable.”

Endeared against my own wishes, I found myself fighting a small smile.

“Just tonight’s dinner?” I asked quietly.

“Just the dinner party.” He assured me quickly.

“Alright. But I’m not getting into any private Jet. My agent will book me tickets and I’ll find my way back to Korea.”

“As you wish. I’ll pick you up at seven. What color is your dress?” He asked casually and I blinked.

“Uh… Wine red? I guess? Why?”

He grinned, looking boyishly handsome.

“I’ll see you at seven, Ms. Kim.”

He bowed, before pausing by the bouquet. He grabbed a couple of  flowers, holding them up for me to see.  

“Daffodils and Lilacs.” He grinned, “ To finding something new to love. And to new beginnings.”

Wow.

Subtle.

I shook my head, momentarily forgetting all about Jungkook as I grinned all the way back to the bedroom.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I told you… coming with me will earn you major points.” Wonwoo smirked as he pulled me in by my waist , holding my dress up for me as I stared at the sleek black limousine at the Hotel entrance. I watched as he held my wrist gently, latching a string of sterling silver and red rubies around the delicate curve of it.

“This is too lavish…I don’t want this…Who are you?” I demanded, flushing because of the way the flashes went off in every direction, reporters scrambling when they caught sight of him. He was clearly popular, if the number of photos being clicked were any indication. I regretted everything.

Wonwoo pressed a kiss to my wrists, right near the bracelet and gently placed my palm on the curve of his elbow, leading me over to the car and I watched the chauffeur open the door for us.  

“ Someone who can get anyone here fired. Be careful , sweetheart.” I watched in mute horror as he bent low, picking up the hem of my skirt so I wouldn’t trip, while climbing into the limousine. The reporters began whispering excitedly and more flashes went off . My face completely red, I hastened to climb in.

“These people look at you like you’re some kind of King.” I stared out of the tinted windows seeing the sheer multitude of people and Wonwoo chuckled.

“ That’s because I am. At least for tonight. And that’s why I’m the perfect guy to protect you Heejin. They’re all terrified of me.” He winked.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jungkook found me, fifteen minutes into the event. I hung by the large archway, near an alcove, sipping champagne and nibbling on some hors d’oeuvre as people threw glances at me. I noticed the conspicuous lack of a date on his arm and straightened, sighing and bracing myself for more unpleasantness as he picked his way through the crowd, eyes trained on me.

“Can we talk?” He said, the minute he was at hearing distance and I exhaled.

“No.” I said casually and he made a noise of impatience.

“Fucking, hell Heejin..just…” He swore again, looking upset. “ Why are you doing this to me? What do you want from me huh?”

I stared at him in disbelief.

“What do I want from you? Oh, fuck off Jungkook. I want nothing from you.” I snapped, turning on my heel, ready to leave but his hand shot out, gripping me right above my elbow, fingers curling in hard.

“Fuck.. listen. I don’t know what she said to you. I .. I’m sorry if she offended you…. Alright? She’s an alpha… I can’t change the way she thinks…”

“I didn’t ask you to. I merely said that if you associate yourself with people who think I’m scum, I won’t let you into my life. Because I respect myself too much for that.” I said firmly.

“She doesn’t think you’re scum, Heejin come on. She just has some misconceptions about certain things.”

“God, Jungkook…just stop. Alright? Stop. Because I’m not asking you do anything. I’m leaving on a flight tomorrow morning and you’ll never see me again. That’s all there is to it.”

He froze at that, fingers curling harder around my arm and it hurt, the skin turning red. Stupid fucker, never knew his own strength.

“Ow, Jungkook let go.” I whispered, and he did, albeit reluctantly.

I rubbed at the bruised skin, furious. I watched as the redness healed over, the pain fading to a throb and then into a pleasant heat and I hated it. Hated that being an omega meant that Jungkook’s rough touch turned to pleasure on my skin.

“What do you mean you’re leaving tomorrow? The Festival is for two weeks.”

I sighed.

“I didn’t come here for the festival. I came here to see you. To see if you were as hung up on me as I was on you…but apparently not.” I snapped.

Jungkook went perfectly still at that.

“What the fuck does that mean?” He said softly and I laughed, shaking my head.

“Wow. You really never even considered it huh? Us? Together.?” It wasn’t funny at all, but I could only laugh. Probably because I’d been so sure.. So certain that there was something there.

He opened his mouth to answer but I felt a warm solidness behind me, an arm wrapping around my waist and a second later, Wonwoo was there pressing up against me.

“Jungkook-ssi… Such a pleasure to meet you.” He held his hand out, and Jungkook frowned, his eyes trained on where wonwoo’s fingers curled around my waist.

“Get your hands off her.” He said shortly and Wonwoo blinked, pulling away from me and stepping back .

“What the-? No. Fuck you.” I snapped, glaring at Jungkook before grabbing Wonwoo’s hand and bringing it back around me. “Don’t you fucking dare take your hands off.” I held my finger up at his face and Wonwoo looked momentarily stunned.

“Really, Heejin? You’re doing this?” Jungkook glared at me. “ We need to talk.”

“So talk.” I snapped. “ Tell me why you think a bigoted bitch is the best you can do in terms of dating. Tell me why she’s the only one who can ‘ understand’ “ I made air quotes, shaking my head, “ You think you and your shitty have monopoly on grief Jungkook? I’ve lost people too. Just because I haven’t screwed other people over because of it, doesn’t make my grief invalid….yeah.”

Ringing silence followed and I regretted everything.

“Fuck.” I whispered, shaking my head. “ I .. Shit. I need to get out of here.”

I pulled away from Wonwoo, moving out of the huge ballroom and Jungkook was right behind me, of course he was.

“Heejin…fuck. Wait. You’re right. I didn’t mean to imply that you didn’t understand me. Of course you did. Its why you stuck around… I know that. And you’re right, she had no business talking about you like that. I’ll have a word with her… But…”

I sped up, wanting to get away but he grabbed me again, tugging me closer out of the hall way and into a darkened alcove and I flinched when he pushed me up against the wall, caging me in, as he pressed in closer.

“What did you mean by that?” He demanded, hands coming up to grip my waist, curling gently and my chest heaved at the touch of him, the enclosed space making his scent turn potent, strong and impossible to avoid. My nostril flared as I breathed him in, familiar and yet so foreign, comforting and yet so fucking dangerous.

“By what?” I snapped and his hands moved up, shaping the curves of my body , thumb grazing the tip of my breast and making me jump, before moving up, gripping my face, gently. He pressed his thumb into my lower lip, rubbing back and forth, face impossibly close and I swallowed, throat sandpaper dry.

“About us? Together….” He breathed and I exhaled shakily.

“You know what I meant.” I whispered. “ If you don’t then I can’t explain it.” I whispered and he swore, head dropping against mine, forehead resting against mine, and lips less than a hairsbreadth away.

We’ve never kissed, I thought suddenly. I licked my lips, turning my face away but his fingers gripped my chin at once, yanking me around to stare at him again.

“Look at me, baby. Tell me… You thought about us together?” He whispered .

I breathed shakily.

“Of course I did…. “ I snapped.

“Then clearly therapy isn’t working for you.” He snapped right back and I flinched.

“What-“

Jungkook pulled away staring at me.

“ Do you even remember all the shit I did to you?” He asked quietly. My stomach dropped.

“Jungkook.”

“I broke your ribs.” He said calmly. I swallowed.

“That.. That was an accident. You didn’t mean to.” I protested. “ And we’re past all that… I don’t… I don’t blame you for it.” I said, which was honest enough.

“And what about the nights I got drunk, Heejin….” He said softly and my skin went cold.

“That… That was just… It was just an outlet for your grief… “ I looked away and he scoffed.

“You’re calling it an outlet for grief. I believe the world calls it rape.”

I felt my entire body shiver at the word , moving up to wrap my arms around his neck, trying to pull him close but he was stiff as a board.

“ Don’t” I snapped. “ Don’t …. Its over…it’s in the past.”

“It was still me. I was the one who did it and I can’t… I can’t pretend it didn’t happen.”

I pulled away to glare at him.

“So , what? You won’t give us a chance because of something I’ve already forgiven you for?”

“Yes.” He said shortly. “ Because you may have forgiven me, but I haven’t forgiven myself.”

I felt my body sag in disbelief.

“Jungkook that’s-“

“You deserve better. You always have. I’m not… I don’t deserve someone like you Heejin. You’re kind and breathtaking and I’m just… a broken mess of a man who’s barely getting by.”

“Oh, right… So broken.” I scoffed. “ You’re on the front page of magazines, you have a successful career and a beautiful girlfriend,,,,forgive me if I’m not breaking my heart over your failures.”

Jungkook exhaled shakily before looking up at me.

“  You wanna know the truth about me, Heejin-ah?” He swallowed. “ I just got out of rehab last week.”

I went still.

“What?” I was sure I’d misheard.

“I… I came here and about a month or so in…I started drinking again…” He glanced away and my heart turned over inside me.

“Jungkook, what?” I demanded, horrified.

“I got drunk and got into an argument with a cop. I hit him. They found out I was a single father and-“ He shook his head, “ I got arrested for disorderly conduct , Public intoxication and assault.”

I stared at him in disbelief, unable to keep the disappointment out of my tone.

“ Arrested for assault... Jungkook why?” I breathed and he flushed.

“I know…. It was stupid.. I… I was stupid.” He said softly.  “Soeun isn’t a baby sitter. She’s a social worker. She’s here to keep an eye on me because they want to make sure I’m not a threat to Mina. If I slip up, they’ll deport me back home and then the state will likely take her away from me. Soeun likes me….so she agreed to lie to you ……And as for the girlfriend…” He laughed, shaking his head, “ Hyorin broke up with me after I got arrested. We’re not… We’re not dating. She was only there to get some prints for the panel tomorrow.” He finished shakily.

I stared at him.

“Why?” I demanded . “ Why would you lie to me… Jungkook ….”

“Because I didn’t want you to think I was a screw up.” He said shakily. “ I know I’m supposed to be getting better and I have but… But sometimes I just…I miss…. I miss home. “ He shuddered. “ And you.”  He looked up at me. “ I miss you a lot, Heejin and it hurts and I feel like the only way I can forget about you…about us together is if I drink. And I’m sorry. I know I don’t have the right to miss you, not after everything I put you through but I… it’s how I feel. ” He glanced away, trembling a little.

I wrapped my arms around myself, stepping away, feeling myself go cold.

We stayed quiet for a few seconds, both of us staring at the floor lost in our own thoughts. I felt drained. Miserably so. Like someone had sucked all the strength out of me. I realized how badly I had wanted Jungkook to be okay. To heal and be himself again. And I’d spent the last nine months, fully convinced that he was. That he was doing what he loved, bonding with his daughter building a life for himself.

But apparently, he was also spiraling back into addiction as well.

It was like we were back in that apartment, both of us miserable  but desperate to be something we clearly were not : Okay.

“Does Taehyung know?” I asked finally and Jungkook hesitated before nodding.

“He was at my court hearing three weeks ago. He’s the reason I haven’t already lost her.” Jungkook whispered.

“What did he say?”

“He thinks I should come back to Korea.” Jungkook said quietly. “ He wants me to start therapy again with him. Every week. “

I nodded.

“Fair enough. And what do you think?”

“I think I will. My probation ends in three days. I’ll… I’ll start making arrangements afterwards. I’ll probably be back in a few weeks time. ”

I stared at him, finally seeing the things I hadn’t noticed this morning. The shadows beneath his eyes, the worry lines on his brow. I wondered if he would have ever told me the truth, if not for this little confrontation between us.

Silence descended again and I bit my lips, a million thoughts running through my head. I felt the pull of his scent through it all, an instinctive urge to reach out and touch and draw him close and I wondered if this was it. That for the rest of our lives we would just be drawn to each other, reluctant and hurt but unable to stay away.

“You’re leaving tomorrow then?” He asked quietly breaking through the fog in my head.  

“Well obviously not.” I snapped. “ I’m not leaving you. I’ll tell Minho, we’ll be staying here for a few weeks. Do you actually have a possible job back home? If you don’t I can ask my agent to find one for you….”

Jungkook was staring at me like I’d grown an extra head.

“ What?” I asked roughly.

He swallowed.

“No.. I .. I don’t have a job there.”

“We’ll get you one. And my apartment is big enough so you can stay with me till we find you a place of your own. And I think it’ll actually be good for you, because there’s a Fine Art photographer, pretty well know guy who stays just a few blocks away and e can probably- “

“You haven’t really changed have you?” Jungkook cut me off in the middle of my rambling .

I flushed, looking away.

“What do you mean?”

“Back when we were married… it was just like this.. I’d fuck up and do something awful and you’d just take it all in stride, get ready to help me out of it….”

“I don’t know what you mean…” I said quickly, “ Let’s go back to the party we’ll talk later-“

He grabbed both my arms, pulling me back to face him when I tried to get past him and I yelped, staring up at him in surprise.

“What?” I demanded. “ What is it now?”

“How do you do this thing, Heejin ?” He asked roughly. “ How do you just get ready to clean up every fucking mess I make like it doesn’t hurt you? Like I don’t hurt you?”

“What are you talking about?” I tried to wriggle out of his hold but he tugged me closer.

“How do you just…” He shook his head, “ accept me so unconditionally? Like… Its like no matter what I do, you’re just willing to look past it and I don’t fucking understand Heejin… why do you put up with me, damn it?”

I stared right at him. Caught his gaze and held it, refusing to look away.

“You know why.” I whispered, licking my lips, throat dry,  “ And if you don’t…. I’m not going to tell you.”

His eyes widened , lips parting and he exhaled sharply, before letting me go and stepping away.

He looked away, shaking a little and I sighed.

“Let’s just get this night over with, yeah?” I said quietly. “ and then we’ll talk.”

He didn’t reply, merely standing aside and motioning for me to leave first.

I shook my head, moving to grip his arm instead.

“Together.” I said firmly. “ We’ll get this night over with, together.”

 Author’s Note : i love these two. i’ve never wanted two people to be together so much. 

@taeshuworld  .@girlinthemikrokosmos  @xius-exos  @sugainfireslex  @yunkichiee@kpopstudybee @ephyraaaa  @peachoney9795 @ggukkieland  @veronawrites  @blr1004   @tinyhoagiepartylover @btsis7okay @squishyjk  @itsdingdong @emmmui  @honeeybunneey  @yeonkiminnie @just-me-and-myselfs  @delicate-snow-flake  @kpop-lore  @beautifulvirgobutterfly @sumzysworld  @btsmylife21  @teresaisla .@melrosaeparker @taestannie @dchimminie  @ meraki–life  @somewhereinthestates  @mawwnsterr  @kookiesbreaky  @chimchoom  

@namjooningelsewhere  @itsdingdong  @ungodlyjoon  @caratarmy131  

@ladyartemesia  @hardggukk @iliveforjin  @loveemariee

@unicornbabylover  @dchimminie  @nope2214   @landl7xoxo

@mrcleanheichou  @kayteekat @wassup-haeyadwae   @natgba   @nikkiordonez12    @neverthefirstchoice  @btsssssfiction  

@mylittlestrangeandsweetworld   @kookiesxbananamilk     @lovra974   @supernoonanyc  @kokoandkookie​  

[idesofrevolution]

Okay: Bad Boy Musky Transformation it is. Enjoy!

I knew, of course, that Marco sold whatever the degenerates in the neighborhood needed. Weed, Acid, Ecstasy, Shrooms, Coke... take out the hard ones and you have his menu. He always seemed to afford the good things in life with his dark money. Two weeks ago he’d bought a Ducati; a week prior it was a 60 inch TV! God knows it wasn’t from dutiful employment, but I knew damn well just what it was that afforded him these luxuries: whatever could be inhaled, snorted, or smoked. And yet, here I was, working two jobs at McDonalds & Popeyes just trying to afford my garbage studio apartment. 

He’d only ever been kind to me, I���ll admit. He’d bring by a pizza he said he couldn’t finish, or his old speakers he’d upgraded. Nice guy, if a bit dim. Always out in the courtyard, laying by the pool with his shirt off. Always surrounded by other guys who’d slip him a hundred. It’s not fair! Four years of college and what did I have to show for it? Student loans and no job prospects. Yet there he was: no trade, no job, no future really; but living like a king. So it was one day where I’ll fully admit that my jealousy overwhelmed me. 

I was short that month, for the first time mind you. Short only by a hundred dollars for rent, but I had already gotten a notice on my door. Pay tomorrow or get lost. It was this desperation that made me remember every deal that thug made, every 8-ball, every eighth, every pill... Would he really notice a hundred missing from his pile? I knew for a fact that every Wednesday night, precisely at 10, Marco would leave for the hookah club and not return until 4 or 5 at the earliest. I knew he locked his door, a few locks actually, but I also knew that the moron left his window cracked nearly every night. It just so happened that on that particular evening, he did just that. 

In that fleeting moment of curiosity, a plan built up in my head. I watched him loudly slam his door, lock his several locks, and saunter out down the stairs. I waited about five minutes before creeping out of my apartment, careful to watch for other prying eyes. I had to be quick. I made a run for it, bolting to his open window on the balcony. It slid open quite easily, and I heaved myself over the ledge and into Marco’s dark apartment. I landed on the ratty old carpet and quickly shut the window. Looking around the apartment, it was a three bedroom for sure. In the same state of disrepair as mine, but furnished with some of the most expensive, gaudy things I’ve ever seen. Brand new leather couches, a coffee table made completely of glass, a massive stereo system next to his 60 inch TV... An absolute manchild lived here.

However, I wasn’t there for the TV or the oversized sectional. I had a sneaking suspicion that he, like many of us, kept his extra money somewhere in the bedroom. Ensuring that no noise would come from my steps, I snuck quietly down the hall, covered in paintings of scantily clad men toward the bedroom. Interesting, he swung that way, huh? Opening the door, a wafting stink hit me in the face. The room was covered in dirty laundry, used condoms, half rolled  blunts, and lines of coke on nearly every surface. This is what I was expecting, and I was surely right. Holding my nose shut, I crept toward his dresser, and began to ruffle through his belongings. Damp socks, damp underwear, damp lycra, everything in there was damp and reeking. I slammed each of the drawers shut, and opened the closet. There, on the tile floor behind rows of pristine sneakers were a pair of destroyed old Vans; and inside each were rolls of hundred dollar bills. Jackpot. I knelt down and grabbed one of the rolls, momentarily unclamping my nose to remove the rubber band. The smell was unbelievable. It took me aback, just how strong it was. I’m sure each of the pairs of Huaraches, AF1′s, and the like had strong scents of their own, but from this single pair of beat up old Vans was the most salty, sweet, almost cheesy footmusk that I’d ever encountered.

For a mere second, I contemplated bringing one of the shoes to my face, letting the dirty, wet insole touch the tip of my nose. However, it was in that second that I should have just left well enough alone. The lightswitch flipped on, and looming over me was the hulking, shirtless Marco. In my right hand was his wad of cash, in the left was his grody sneaker. My face flushed, and my stomach dropped to my toes. He crossed his arms and smiled.

“If you wanted a loan you could have just asked...” Words were caught in the back of my throat. I wanted so terribly to make up some fantastic excuse as to my presence in his closet, but the frog in my throat had other ideas. The growing grin of Marco, paired with him beginning to kneel down to my level made my heart nearly stop beating. “And if you wanted a sniff I’d have given it to you.” He smirked and slowly pulled the shoe from my hand, taking a quick whiff of it’s stench. He turned quickly and laughed, waving the wafting scent away from his face before grabbing the back of my head and plunging it right into the shoe. “Okay, deep breath now.”

I tried to struggle, to fight back, but the man was nearly twice my size and pure muscle. There was no chance of me weaseling my way out of this. I had to just play along with this weird fetish that he seemed to have. I inhaled a quick breath, barely getting any stink. 

“No, no. I said deep breath.” I felt a strong hand shoot to my crotch, grabbing my junk within my jeans. The shock of this invasive gesture broke my concentration, and a gasp of breath escaped from my mouth. Into my nose, my mouth, my sinuses, my brain did the musk penetrate. I moaned loudly, the confusion of a powerful grope and a powerful scent submerged me into a strange state of consciousness. Or rather, a lack thereof. I was inhaling the footsmell like air, and I couldn’t get enough. My cock began to tent in my pants, and I felt my right hand drop the roll of cash I thought I so desperately needed. “Ahh, haha. That’s right, let it in. Let me in.” 

His voice seemed distorted, as if we were in a deep cavern, it echoed in my skull. He removed the shoe from my face, pulling me to my feet by my bulging groin. Guiding me toward his bed, I sat down on the smelly sheets, no longer in complete control of my faculties.

“Take your clothes off.” His words entered my ears like soft velvet, it felt wrong to disobey. In fact, I wanted to obey. For the first time, I wanted to listen to whatever this man told me to do. His bulging muscles, his plump lips, the way his crooked smile felt so dangerously mischievous, the way his smell took my breath away like a vacuum. For the first time, this man was everything I wanted. I ripped my clothes off and lay there on his bed wearing nothing but my bare, cold skin. Smiling, he took hold of my throbbing, upright cock in his rough hand. Ripples of goosebumps ran up and down my body as he slowly ran his calloused hand up and down my shaft. Each stroke allowed a groan or a moan to sneak out of my lips, before he leaned down atop me and planted a soft kiss onto my lips. He tasted like an ashtray and as his tongue slipped into my mouth, rolling atop my own, I could feel some of his taste transfer to me. I can’t explain it, as we kissed I could feel that taste of cigarettes and blunts seep into my tongue. I pulled his pants down, his thick, uncut cock tumbling out of his compression shorts onto my stomach. He smiled as he pulled away from the kiss. I stuck my finger under his foreskin, swiping it around, and brought it to my lips. It tasted like ripe, sweaty cock, and I began to crave it. “Oh yeah, babe you’re a keeper.”

He jumped up, and pulled me toward the edge of the bed. I got a perfect frontal view of his gorgeous cock and saggy balls, his virile and manly smell kept pouring into my nose and into the depths of my mind. He grabbed me by the back of my hair and pulled my eager mouth forward, engulfing his slick, smelly cock. I suckled, my loud slurping seeming making him even hornier. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him fiddling with something just out of view. As he thrust down my throat, I realized just what it was that he had. His used condom, I presume from whatever sexy fuck occurred the night prior, was in his hands. I closed my eyes as I felt its rubbery walls close tightly around the tip of my cock, slickly sliding down my shaft until his cold, creamy load touched my slit. With a loud snap, I looked down and saw his thick white cum completely enveloping my cockhead. I only got a quick glance before he’d pulled out of my mouth, replacing his succulent cock with my now favorite smelly shoe. I licked the sole, letting the thick toejam season my ashy tongue as the musk thrust into my nose once more. 

I knew what was coming, and I was prepared when I felt that slippery cock slip like butter into my tight hole. He’d grabbed my cock, covered in his seed, and jerked in tandem with his thrusts into my ass. Sensory overload. His smell, his seed, his cock, his taste, the very sight of him... It was all him. He was marking me. I was his property, and I was glad to oblige. Every single hard smack against my ass cheeks, every stinking waft into my brain, every breath of his smoky breath coming out of my mouth... It was too much! He fucked like a madman, stroking my cock into his slime until I felt a strange tingling in my cockhead. It was a slick, penetrating sensation of his seed... slurping into my slit! I was nearly screaming as I felt it sink deep down my shaft, into my engorging balls. It was stewing, brewing inside my growing sack! I heard him howl as he unloaded his fresher load into me. 

I felt his cock within me shooting spurt after spurt... going from ounces to gallons very quickly. His cum spread throughout my body like water into a balloon. I could feel the silky liquid beneath my skin, creeping, inflating every part of my body. It seeped up my throat, into my mouth, behind my very eyes into my brain. The pressure grew as I felt growth, I felt strength, I felt different. My body was gelatinous beneath my skin, before slowly firming into a much larger form. An improved form. I pulled Marco’s shoe from my face, and looked at my changing body. The cum kept flowing as I saw my muscled arms, my bulging abs, a grotesquely inflated ballsack... He leaned down and kissed me again, giving me another much needed taste of his addictive taste. My brain was melting, reforming, changing... Things were fuzzy and blurred before it was my turn to blow my load. In it, was who I used to be, my failures, my strife, my worries and obligations... Flowed like a jet out of my cock into his condom. Cum flowed out of the top of the condom, before Marco ripped it from me, letting the hot juices pool between us. 

“Lookin’ good, babe.” He smiled at me, and I looked at the man I loved with a smirk. Yeah, I sure fuckin’ do look good. We laid there all night long, fucking and kissing and sniffing and tasting... By the time the sun came up, I was in his clothes, I reeked of his sweaty manly musk, I was wearing my favorite pair of red Vans, and I was readying an 8-ball for pickup later that morning (after a few lines for me and the boyfriend). I kicked back and lit a cigarette, enjoying the laid back life I’d come to love with my man.

It’s a love story. How touching. So let me know what you think. Give me some anons on your opinions! Also, toss a few quid into the tip jar and I’d be eternally grateful <3 <3

[liquid-luck-00]

Safety Net 2

Part 2

Day 9: Teen Titans @maribatmarch-2k21

Ao3 *** Part 1 *** Here *** Part 3 *** Part 4 *** Part 5

This is based on Teen Titans Judas Contract

~~~~~~~~~~

Marinette became a fully fledged Talon when she turned 18. Six years with the court before they turned her, as to not arouse suspicion with a child. She doesn't remember the events that led to her leaving but she did. She supposes it is the fact she is a Talon that repressed her memories but that doesn't matter the court and all the other Talons are dead. She kept a single vial of the only poison that could end her life. She left not looking back.

She actually didn't get far when she first saw him. His swords danced, connecting to his target, death etched on his blade edge. Then he vanished.

She would see him again and again as she moved from city to city, state to state, even from country to country. One night as she watched the London sky, from her perch in Big Ben, did he come to her.

"Who are you?" His mask deepened his voice, made it colder and more robotic. She turned to look at him, not saying a word, and then turned back to the city.

He apparently didn't appreciate her silence as he stalked closer to her. "Who are you?" he growled the question, the sword tip pressing into her neck, but she didn’t move.

"Talon." was choked out. The voice was gruff and scratchy from being unused. That single word seemed to answer a few of his questions.

"The Court?"

"Gone"

"Orders?"

Now she simply shook her head. The sword was removed from her neck and was placed back in its sheath.

"How would you like to have your own agency again?" His voice was still gruff and cold. It held authority but it was human. She turned to see he had removed his mask. His hair was stark white, small scars littered his face, his eyes were cold and calculating, yet they didn't lie.

Her mouth opened slightly before she closed it. A deep buried resolve began to surface as she nodded in answer.

She followed Slade Wilson out of the bell tower.

---

She was then embedded into the League of Assassins. This was where they needed patience.

She didn't speak, they thought her mute, she played along. Yes she could withstand life threatening hits, but she didn't let them happen. She would strike faster, hit harder, she made herself stronger, so they called her ruthless. She didn't oppose.

Above all she was patient.

The day the coup was to happen she was guarding the Lazarus Pit.

Silently she killed the guard stationed with her and walked into the pit. The water was both cold and scalding. A fog began to enter her mind but she pushed against it. This was no time to be confused or dazed. She felt the chains and commands programed into her by the court, so she pushed against them too until they broke. She breached the surface of the pit. Shakily she stood, breathing heavily, she began to dress, quickly noticing her skin became more pink and her mind was clear. She had to leave this room as, the alarms rang signaling the coup, she ran out, fully dressed and hidden.

She took her position in the cockpit of a helicopter and soon only she and Slade were alone in the air. The others scattered in order to build up a base of operations. An hour later they landed in a small air field where a jet was waiting for them. They transferred their things and took to the skies again.

"How do you feel?" Slade asked her not long after putting the plane on auto pilot.

"Light," her voice was clearer, still raspy, but there was inflection and life traced through the word.

"Anger, fury, bloodlust?" He pressed.

"None." she shook her head.

"Interesting," he murmured.

"How bad?" she pointed to his wrapped head and covered eye.

"We'll find out once we talk with the Doc," a scowl appeared on his face. "so what's your name, because it isn't Talon"

"Um..." she thought hard and long. she had been called Talon for so long, but what did they call her before, "Grayson. They called me Grayson before they called me Talon."

---

Slade became her mentor of sorts, they would spar and train to learn their new bodies and limitations. In fact it was easy for them both. She became known as Phoenix. Her uniform was similar to her Talon one, but while Talon was gold Phoenix was a deep crimson. The helmet was replaced by a hood and a half mask that extended from her hair line to her nose. She took to being a mercenary rather fast, but all things considered it wasn't that far of a stretch.

The only thing that troubled her, were her nightmares, or were they dreams. But they didn't feel like something her subconscious had created. They felt like memories begging to be remembered. She would fly through the air as if on gilded wings. A pair of inviting and smiling-azure eyes of a little boy. A warm smile and reassuring embrace of the same boy would appear constantly. Then the fall, she never hit the ground, but she continued to fall. The cold and dark embraced her smothering her until she woke up.

---

She never stayed in one place long but sooner or later she would always pay Deathstroke a visit. It isn't that she is attached to the Mercenary. Sure she is grateful to him but it's like if she stays close she will find a missing piece of her puzzle. On one of these trips back she met her. A teen with blonde hair and blue eyes, Terra. She was met with a less than warm welcome but oh well.

"What's up old man!" she joked. Slade glared at her and nodded in greeting.

"We have a job."

"What is it?" she sat on the couch.

"Infiltrating the Teen Titans."

"That's what the kid's for," she hummed. "What can she do?"

"Meta. Geokinesis."

"Disassemble the little league before the big one." A calculated smile spread across her lips.

"I knew I kept you around for something." was his answer. To anyone else it would have seemed hostile, but she simply rolled her eyes at the remark.

"Any old memories come back?"

"Nah-uh." She lied, keeping the kind blue-eyed boy a secret, they both went to work.

It was idiotic how easily Terra integrated into the Titans. Slade helped her enhance her power, while Grayson was supposed to help her gain refined control but the younger girl wouldn't listen to her. Grayson couldn't do anything about that, she could support Terra and help her but that didn’t mean the teen accepted. She wasn't her mother or even her sister.

"... Not without my twin sister." A boy's voice echoed in her mind, she tried to shake the voice from her head, but it stayed.

Twin? Sister? I have a brother? I have a twin brother?

Unfortunately all these questions swam in her mind for months as Terra infiltrated the Titans.

Everything was going relatively well until Robin decided to stick his nose in. Unfortunately this was when she learned the truth to the infiltration. They were going to use the Titans and extract their powers and life force. It made her sick. Sure she didn't exactly see eye to eye with heroes, but she saw the good they did. Hell she may be called a mercenary, but the jobs she took aligned with her morals. Even if those said morals were just a 'fuck you opposite of the court,' but it stood, it was hers.

This was how she was found by Nightwing.

"Figured you wouldn't be easy to kill. Here." she pushed a robe into his hands. "Your team is held this way" she started to walk but he hadn't moved.

"What are you doing?"

"Look you can trust me or not, but those are just kids. I will not be the one to let them give their lives without consent or reason."

"Sounds like your speaking from experience."

"So what if I am."

Nightwing jumped down and the fight began. She went and unlocked the restraints on the Titans and jumped into the fight. She, Robin, and Nightwing were all fighting against Deathstroke when Terra regained consciousness. Both Robin and Nightwing stopped their onslaught but Phoenix knew how Terra fought, she knew how to work with the girl. Unfortunately she was thrown over towards Nightwing and Robin, a quadruple somersault led into a rollout allowed her to land safely from the throw.

"Terra!" she yelled.

"Stay out of it Grayson, Slade is mine." A desperate yell escaped the girl, as she unleashed her power. One of the Titans tried to help, but Terra moved him towards the others.

"I'm sorry." Grayson whispered, before she pulled the heroes to safety. They got out moments before the entire thing collapsed.

"Who are you?" A katana was pointed at her neck.

"More importantly the somersault and the name, Grayson, how would you know those?" Nightwing questioned.

"The name is a memory from before," she responded. "And the somersault is just in grained in muscle memory by now." She shrugged and turned to leave but was stopped. "Look I don't want to fight and I don't want to stay so..." None of the heroes said a word but circled around her. 'Sigh' "I'm not gonna get out without a fight huh?"

"That would be correct."

"Fine." Her hands went up in a placating motion, before reaching into a pocket.

"Stop that."

"Relax little birdie." she pulled out a small ring of keys, tossing them to Nightwing. "Don't know about you but I prefer to not walk over two hours to get to Jump city."

They all got to the car but as it only fit five and there were seven of them something had to give. Well she was sat in the middle back seat between Raven and Robin, Beast Boy turned into a cat and sat on her lap. Nightwing was behind the wheel, Blue Beetle on the passenger side, while Starfire flew above them all. Between the awkward silence and closed space she was lulled into a restless sleep.

Next

~~~~~~~~~~

Permanent Taglist: @itsmeevie01 @adrestar @miraculouspenta @vixen-uchiha

Taglist: @alysrose-starchild

[kingexpl0sionmurder]

Sour Candy - Bakugou Katsuki

Author: @kingexpl0sionmurder Rating: 18+ (Smut) Words: 12,276 Pairing: Bakugou Katsuki/F!Reader (Aged up, characters are in college) Warnings: Language, smut, Shinsou is kind of a dick, I made Bakugou a fan of LotR alright?

AN: I have been writing this for 84 years. This is my first attempt at Bakugou. Please be gentle lol. Shout out to @unbreakablekiribaku for listening to me talk about this fic since FEBRUARY and @420bakubaby​ for being one of the first people to read this and then scream at me for stopping mid smut for like 2 months. Bakugou’s poor neck lmfao. xoxoxo Masterlist is here Buy me a Kofi?

---

You sighed, resting your head on your folded arms at the table. You tuned out the chattering of the girls around you, Ashido and Hagakure giggling at something to your right.

“You okay, Y/N?” Uraraka shot you a concerned look from across the table, causing you to lift your head and gaze at her.

“Yeah, I’m just bored.” And lonely, but she didn’t need to know that. Your eyes fell back to the table in front of you. 

“I think you just miss Shinsou.” Ashido’s tone was teasing and it caused you to roll your eyes a little. She hit the nail on the head, but it wasn’t him that you missed, not really. It was just the companionship. Sure, you had your girlfriends, but it wasn’t the same thing.

“I don’t miss him.”

“Did you break up?” Jirou leaned her face on her palm, raising her eyebrows and looking at you curiously.

You snorted. “We were never together. We just had an...arrangement.”

“He decided to focus on his training,” Ashido explained when you offered no further information. “They’ve decided to just be friends.”

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” Tsu reached out and patted your arm from her place on the other side of the table, beside Uraraka.

You offered her a smile, letting your gaze fall to your lap. You weren’t all that sad about it. There were no real feelings between you and Hitoshi, there never had been. You just had a good time together, letting off a little steam when things became too stressful. You were proud of him for focusing on getting stronger, especially after everything he’d gone through when you were back in UA and how hard he’d worked to get into the hero course, and you didn’t hold his decision against him.

“You need a new distraction!” Hagakure trilled excitedly, breaking you from your thoughts. “We just need to find you a new boy.”

“I don’t need a new boy.” You groaned, leaning back. “I can function without one.” Eyes closed, your lips pulled into a frown. “I don’t want to do the meaningless sex thing again.”

Ashido, who clearly had not been listening, craned her neck to look around the cafeteria where you were having lunch. “What about Kaminari?”

You rolled your eyes. “Ashido, come on. I don’t want-”

“Ooh yeah!” Hagakure continued. “He’s cute, right? Maybe a little pervy, but I bet he’s kinky!”

Jirou gave her a look. “Keep it down! Don’t let him hear you say that! He’d never shut up about it.”

“He’s too easy. All I’d have to do is look at him and he’d cum in his pants.” Your lips curled up into a smirk, shaking your head. Kaminari was cute and you’d been friends for a long time, but you didn’t think the two of you would work out. Plus, you weren’t interested in him like that. 

The table burst into a fit of giggles. Yaoyorozu leaned over from your other side. “You want a challenge then? What about Todoroki?”

All eyes slid to the other side of the cafeteria where Todoroki sat, eating his soba with his chopsticks quietly, while Kirishima and Sero were laughing loudly over his head.

“He’s gorgeous, but he scares me a little bit. Strong and silent types aren’t my thing.” He was a little too...obtuse a lot of the time. Social cues went right over that boy’s head. 

“So gorgeous…” Ashido sighed, slumping across the table. “Okay, what about Kiri? I could put in a good word.”

You decided to let your friends have their fun, playing along. It wasn’t their fault they didn’t know about the secret crush you’d been harboring on a certain boy.

“Shark boy is tempting. I’d let him do anything he wanted to me. Have you seen him without a shirt? And those pointy teeth…” You trailed off, gazing into the distance.

“Eijirou has two quirks; hardening, and respecting women. He would probably be too vanilla for you.” Hagakure was right, of course.

“You never know, though. I’d like to call him Red Daddy Riot at least once.” You said dreamily, earning loud laughter from the girls around you. Kirishima was hot and had a great personality, but in all seriousness, he was just a friend. 

“Midoriya?” Tsu suggested.

Your eyes shot to Uraraka, instantly noticing the blush on her cheeks. “Nah, he’s off-limits.” You were one of the only ones who knew how Uraraka felt about Deku, and you weren’t about to do that to her, so you shut that idea down quickly.

You turned back to the table the guys were occupying, eyes wandering over each of them with feigned interest. 

“I’ve got it!” Ashido was too excited, her loud voice commanding the attention of the room. She sunk back into her seat when a few people turned their heads in your table’s direction. 

All of the girls around you leaned in to hear her better when she beckoned them closer. “Bakugou.” She said conspiratorially, wiggling her eyebrows at you.

“Do you think Y/N has a death wish?” Jirou huffed. “Ashido, that wasn’t a serious suggestion, was it?”

Uraraka winced, her pink cheeks getting ever pinker. “If you think Todoroki is scary, he’s nothing compared to Bakugou.”

Tsu, always the observant one, shook her head. “He’s not as mean as he makes himself out to be. He’s like sour candy.”

“Bitter on the outside, sweet on the inside?” Yaoyorozu was grinning, picking up on Tsu’s metaphor.

“If anyone could crack him, it’s you Y/N. You don’t put up with shit.” Ashido pressed on. “You’re strong too, and he’ll respect that. Plus, he’s nicer to you than he is to the rest of us.”

“That doesn’t mean much, cause he’s still kind of a dick to me.” You said. “But…” You glanced over to see Bakugou eating his sashimi with a permanent frown on his face. “If you think I’d let Kiri do whatever he wanted to me, then times that by a million, and that’s what I’d let Bakugou do.”

“I’d let him blow me up.” You could just picture Hagakure slumping over dramatically. “Those washboard abs, his bulging biceps…”

“You okay, Hagakure? Someone get the spray bottle.” Jirou’s eyes were alright with mirth, lips curled into a teasing smile. 

“You think I should try?” You asked the table, your gaze still locked on the ash blonde across the room. 

If you were being honest with yourself, Bakugou was the only boy that you could see yourself with. You’d been intrigued by him since your first year at UA, and had always wondered what it would be like to date him. You had given up on the idea of ever getting him to like you, knowing that getting close enough to him would be a daunting task. He had built walls around himself since day one, putting up an unapproachable front, and you’d always thought it would be impossible. And now, 4 years later, you were all attending the same hero college, and you felt like your chances to win his affections hadn’t gotten any better. 

But, what was the harm in it?

“If anyone can do it, you can,” Tsu confirmed, breaking you from your reverie. 

Ashido squealed, bouncing in her seat. “You two would be so cute!”

You turned to look across the room, catching a glimpse of bright amethyst eyes peering in your direction. Hitoshi smiled at you before turning his attention back to his friends, and you searched your heart for any feelings that you might have missed for him. When you came up with nothing, you knew you’d made your decision.

“Well, Ashido, I guess you better start thinking of ship names. Operation Bang Bakugou is in full effect, starting immediately.” You said finally, smiling at your friends.

They didn’t need to know how you felt about him, anyway. That was your secret motivation. You just hoped this didn’t blow up in your face. 

---

Twenty-four hours later, you had made zero progress. The most you’d gotten was a heated glare from the explosive blonde when he’d caught you staring at him during one of the classes you shared. You were starting to think the whole thing was hopeless, but you couldn’t give up. Your mama didn’t raise no quitter.

You decided this was going to take some time and a lot of research. You started by observing Bakugou’s routine. It was fate that you’d been assigned to the same dormitory, along with the rest of your high school friends, so you would have plenty of opportunities to watch him without being creepy.

He got up insanely early every morning and went for a run, and then showered and ate breakfast. After his last class, he would do his homework and hang out with Kirishima and the rest of his squad before wandering off to bed around 8 pm, like a grandpa. On the weekends he would keep the same morning routine, and then would spend his afternoons in the gym unless someone was able to convince him to break his regimen and actually participate in a group activity, but it was rare and he would be grumpy about it the whole time.

You filed his relationship with Eijirou away for a moment of desperation. You wanted to try to do this all on your own if you could, but it was good to know that you might have an in if you needed it. For now, you were going to try to get Bakugou to talk to you. 

You begrudgingly set your alarm for the ungodly hour of 5 am the night before you put your half-assed idea into motion. When it woke you up out of a nice dream you grumbled, dragging yourself to the bathroom to wash your face and fix your bed head. You dressed in your workout clothes and stumbled downstairs with your running shoes, your phone, and a pair of headphones shoved into the front pocket of your hoodie.

You sat down on the front steps to the dorm, lacing up your shoes and yawning.

“What are you doing here?”

Your head snapped up, eyes locking with Bakugou’s red ones as he stood behind you. You cleared your throat. “Hey, Bakugou. I was just getting ready to go for a run.”

His posture was stiff as always. “You don’t go for runs.”

“Not normally, no. But I think it’ll benefit me. I want to get faster.” You shrugged. “Are you going running too? Maybe we can run together?”

“Tch. You wouldn’t be able to keep up, princess.” He sat down and pulled on his shoes, no longer paying you any attention.

You didn’t want to push him, so you didn’t say anything, moving to the grass and sitting down so you could stretch. The morning was nice, a little chilly, but the breeze felt good and it was quiet. You felt his eyes on you but you ignored him, reaching out to touch your toes, flexing your feet. When you were satisfied, you stood, bending your knee and grabbing your foot to pull it back.

Bakugou was standing in front of you. “Just stay out of my way. I usually run towards the training grounds and then loop back around the dorms. It’s about two miles all the way around.”

You looked over at him, trying not to grin. “Yeah, okay. Thanks.”

“I’m not doing you any favors, don’t thank me.” He snapped. “Fucking Christ. Just shut up.” 

Your eyes widened as he turned his back to you, reaching into his hoodie for his headphones and shoving them in his ears. He messed with his phone for a second, before turning around and glaring at you.

You followed his lead, shoving an earbud in one ear and turning on your music. When you put your phone away he grunted and started jogging in the direction of the training grounds, and you followed, keeping pace behind him.

It was nice, it felt good to get your blood pumping so early in the morning. The campus was deserted, no one was probably even awake at this hour. Bakugou was quiet, but you didn’t expect him to speak to you, let alone let you run with him, so you didn’t have any complaints. You took this as a win though, because he’d at least acknowledged your existence. 

Your legs were burning about three-fourths of the way through but you pushed on, not wanting to seem weak in front of him. You assumed if you stopped or slowed, he wouldn’t wait for you, and you thought it might hurt your chances of getting to do this with him again. 

Your discomfort must have been apparent, though, because he grunted and looked back at you. “Oi! What’s your problem?”

You shook your head. “I’m fine.”

“No you’re fucking not, you’re slowing and you’re not breathing right.” He slowed down a little. “You’re pushing yourself too much.”

Your legs ached, and you felt a stitch forming in your side.“I said I’m fine.” 

“Stubborn fucking-“ He slowed further, back into a light jog. “Your body isn’t used to this. I shouldn’t have let you come with me.”

“You can go without me, Bakugou. I can handle myself.” You grumbled, hating that he was right. 

He rolled his eyes. “I usually start slowing down now anyway.” He reached in his other hoodie pocket and pulled out a water bottle, shoving it at you. “Drink.”

You didn’t even have it in you to argue, taking the bottle from him and unscrewing the cap, drinking slowly from it. You handed it back to him, keeping your gaze set on your shoes. You could practically feel the anger radiating off of him as he jogged beside you. It looked like all you’d managed to do was piss him off further.

When you finally reached the dorms you threw yourself on the grass, your heart thudding hard in your chest and your muscles aching. You closed your eyes, waiting for your breathing to slow, vaguely aware of Bakugou sitting somewhere to your right.

“Hey, dumbass. Don’t forget to stretch.”

You opened one eye to peer over at him. “Mm. I know.” You sat up and sighed before you started stretching, knowing you’d be in pain later regardless.

Bakugou drank from the water bottle, and then tossed it at you, watching as it hit the ground beside you. “We’ll take a shorter path tomorrow and work you up to more.”

You stopped, looking at him with your jaw wide open. “What?”

“Don’t tell me you’re going to give up already, idiot.” He stood up. “I didn’t take you for a quitter.”

“I’m not!” You said quickly. “I just...I don’t want you to fuck up your routine for me.”

“Tch.” He glared at you, shoving his hands in his pockets. “You obviously need the help since you can’t even handle two miles. It pisses me off. So I’m going to make you my personal project.” He turned to walk inside. “Same time tomorrow. Don’t be late.”

You watched him go, your eyes wide. You couldn’t even believe this was happening. “Hey, Bakugou!”

He stopped, not bothering to turn and look at you. “What?”

“Thanks.”

His shoulders tensed. “Whatever.”

You kept your eyes on him as he disappeared into the building, letting out a breath you didn’t even realize you were holding when he was out of sight. “Well, fuck.”

—

“So what’s going on with you and Bakugou?” Ashido asked a few weeks later while you were sitting down to lunch again. “Any progress?”

There had been a little progress. Bakugou seemed to enjoy your company. It took you a few days to realize it, but he insulted you less. Like, he still called you an idiot and a dumbass, and occasionally he referred to you as ‘shitty woman’, but it wasn’t the same. It was like there was no anger behind his words.

“They go running together every morning now, didn’t you know that?” Hagakure‘s voice came from your right. If you could see her face you knew she’d be grinning widely.

Jirou gazed at you with her eyebrow cocked. “Interesting. He doesn’t let anyone run with him.”

“He does now.” You mumbled, looking down at your soba. “I kind of forced myself upon him. He’s taken me up as a charity case. But I’m getting better.”

“He’s such a hardass. He probably barks orders at you the whole time. I’m not sure it’d be worth it.” Ashido was concerned for you, and it made you smile. She was a good friend.

“He’s alright.” You glanced over at the boys’ table and caught him looking at you. His neck snapped forward when you caught his eye. “Actually, it’s going pretty well.”

“So when’s the wedding?” Tsu’s tone was light, and you knew she was making fun of you. 

You snorted at her. “Okay, not /that/ well. Not yet at least.”

“Do you guys talk at all?” Yaoyorozu leaned on her elbow and blinked at you.

“I talk, he sort of listens? I don’t know. He doesn’t tell me to shut up, so that’s got to mean something, right?”

The second day you’d run together, you asked him what he was listening to, and he’d shoved one of his earbuds at you in response. It was some heavy metal band, and you understood maybe every three words due to the screaming and growling of the lead singer, but it was fitting for Bakugou. You ran the rest of the time listening to it together, and it was nice and kind of unexpected. The next day you’d given him one of your earbuds and he’d listened to your music choices. You were pretty sure that was the first time you’d heard him genuinely laugh at something, even if it was just because he heard the lyric “Tell the haters to suck my fucking cock”.

“It’s better than him blowing you up or something.” Uraraka mused, pulling you out of your thoughts. 

“We’ll see. We’re going to study together later so…”

Ashido gaped at you. “What? He told us he couldn’t help us with the math homework. Kaminari asked him earlier and he said he had plans.” 

“I’m the plans I guess?” You could feel the blush rising on your cheeks. “I’m meeting him in his room after dinner.”

“His room? Y/N, no one has seen his room except for Kirishima! This is big!” Jirou looked absolutely ecstatic for you. 

“Shh! Not so loud!” You felt your face turning even redder. “Don’t ruin this for me.”

“You cracked him, Y/N.” Tsu looked almost proud of you, her smile lighting up her whole face.

“I never thought this would go anywhere! Good luck, Y/N! We’re rooting for you!” Hagakure giggled excitedly, and you felt her grab your arm and shake you.

The rest of the table nodded in agreement, offering you congratulations. 

“Thanks, guys. I’m actually hella nervous.” You turned your attention back to your lunch.

“If how often he keeps looking over here is any indication, you don’t have anything to worry about,” Yaoyorozu elbowed you, a teasing tone in her voice.

You looked over to see him staring at you again. You smiled at him, and he just glared back, but it wasn’t the heated one you were used to. “Yeah, maybe you’re right.”

—

You were heading back to the dorms after your last class, your bag slung over your shoulder, lost in thought. You wondered what you should wear later, running through possible outfits in your head as you walked. If you dressed up too much Bakugou might get suspicious, and you were trying to keep things casual for now. 

“Hey, kitten.”

Your head snapped up, meeting the sleepy purple gaze of Shinsou as he fell into step beside you. 

“Hey, ‘Toshi. How’s your training going?”

He shrugged, amethyst eyes meeting yours. “It’s alright. I’m running myself ragged. But it’s good. It feels good, you know?”

You nodded, biting your bottom lip. You were happy for him. “I’m glad to hear that. You’ve always worked so hard, it’s going to pay off.”

Hitoshi lifted his hand to rub the back of his neck, his trademark move. “Yeah, maybe. How’re things with you?”

“Okay. I’ve been running in the mornings before class. I’m getting faster. I can do almost two miles in about 16 minutes.” 

“Wow. That’s pretty good.” He looked impressed, his hands sliding into his pockets as you walked.

“I’ve got a pretty good teacher.” You said vaguely, not wanting to give him any more information.

“Oh yeah? Who?”

“Just, someone in my dorm. It’s not important.” You knew he’d be less than pleased. You didn’t care what he thought, you just wanted to avoid the inevitable badmouthing he was prone to when it came to Bakugou.

You turned your head, looking forward. Bakugou was standing in front of the dorms with Kirishima just ahead of you. He looked up and caught your eye, frowning when he saw Hitoshi walking beside you.

Shinsou followed your gaze. “You’re training with that asshat, aren’t you?” He looked mildly disgusted. “I’m surprised he hasn’t killed you yet.”

“He’s not that bad, you know that. He knows his shit.” Your brows furrowed. This was exactly what you’d been trying to avoid.

“Maybe so, but he’s also a giant douchebag.”

You stopped walking, tired of the conversation already. You knew him well enough to know that this wasn’t just a casual catch up, anyway. “You haven’t spoken to me in like a week, Hitoshi. What do you want?”

Shinsou raised his eyebrows. “Chill out, kitten. I just wanted to say hi. I missed you.” He reached out, his fingers trailing along your cheek. 

You looked over when you heard yelling. Kirishima was calling after Bakugou, the fiery blonde storming away from him and inside the building. What was that about?

You jerked back from Hitoshi’s touch. “Nope. None of that. You’re the one who ended things with us, remember?” 

“So we can't be friends? Wasn’t that the deal?”

Your frustration was apparent in your posture. “It was. But that’s not what you were thinking and we both know it.” You turned, walking backwards towards the building. “I’ve gotta go. I’ll see you later.”

His face pinched. “What’s your problem? Are you fucking him already? You don’t waste a second.”

You felt your anger bubbling up in the pit of your stomach. Turning around, you fixed him with a glare. “No, I’m not. Jealousy isn’t a good look on you, Shinsou. Fuck off.”

You spun back towards the dorms, your hands shaking as you stormed past Kirishima and slammed the front door open.

“Y/N, wait!”

You kept walking, ignoring the looks you were getting from the group that was sitting in the common area. You didn’t stop until you reached the elevator, jamming your finger against the button harder than necessary.

The sound of sneakers slapping against the floor had you spinning around. Kirishima was approaching, looking concerned. “Hey, you okay?”

“Fine.” You snapped, turning back to the elevator. “What’s up?”

“Oh! Well, I don’t know, it looked like you were fighting with Shinsou. I just wanted to make sure you were alright.”

You felt bad for snapping at him. Eijirou was a good friend. “Yeah, sorry. I’m okay. He’s just a dick.”

Kiri chuckled, his sharp teeth on display. “Yeah, he kind of is.”

Changing the subject, you shrugged. “Is Bakugou okay? He looked mad. Like, madder than usual.” The elevator dinged and you entered it, moving aside so he could join you.

He pushed the button for your floor and then his. “Yeah, he’s fine. He’s just…”

“Being Bakugou?”

“Yeah, basically. You get it.” He reached up to touch his bright red spikes, before his gaze settled on your face, bright red eyes glinting conspiratorially. “What’s going on with you two anyway?”

You froze, panicking slightly. Was it that obvious? “What? Nothing.”

“Yeah, that’s what he says too. You can’t fool me though. I know for a fact that I’m the only person he can tolerate on a normal day, and he doesn’t let me go running with him.” He looked at you knowingly, raising an eyebrow.

You felt your cheeks heating up, imagining their color rivaled the hair on his head. “He’s just helping me train.”

Kiri sighed. “Just do me a favor and be nice to him. He’s my best bro.”

The elevator dinged again when it reached your floor. You stepped out and turned back to him. “Nothings going on, Kiri.” You repeated. “We’re just friends.” 

So what if you wanted to be more? Kirishima didn’t need to know that.

“Sure. See you at dinner, Y/N.” He winked as the doors closed and left you standing in the hallway alone. 

—

After dinner, you went to your room to grab your math textbook and your pencil case. You decided to put on your comfy clothes, slipping on your favorite pair of leggings and an oversized t-shirt, and throwing your hoodie on over it before you made your way to the elevator.

You stood in front of Bakugou’s door, taking a deep breath before knocking. You didn’t have to wait long, the door flying open moments later. “What do you want?”

You blinked at him, biting your lip. “We were supposed to study, remember?”

He frowned, his eyebrows scrunching together as he stared at you, his arms folded across his chest. “Thought you weren’t coming.” He was waiting for an answer. You raised your eyebrows at him in lieu of a reply, and he sighed, opening the door wider and letting you enter.

His room was neat, with an All Might poster on the wall above his desk. His bed was made, and he had a giant bookcase against the far wall filled with books. It was kind of fitting for him. You didn’t expect anything flashy, it was Bakugou after all.

“Why wouldn’t I come? We made plans.” You questioned him, shuffling over to sit on the bed.

“Tch.” He flopped into his desk chair. “Thought you’d be off with eyebags instead.”

You stared at him, confused. “Shinsou? No.”

“Weren’t you dating him?” He kept his gaze on the book in front of him, his shoulders tense, and fists clenched on the desk.

“No. Not really.” Was he jealous? Was that what that fit was about outside the dorms after class?

He didn’t say anything, and you could feel the tension in the air. If he was feeling jealous from seeing you with Hitoshi earlier, then maybe things were going better than you’d hoped. You knew you had to say something to fix this.

“Bakugou.”

He looked up, glaring at you like he usually did, his eyes filled with something else other than anger. Hurt?

“I’m not dating Shinsou. I’m not interested in him.” Putting your book down beside you, you leaned forward, your elbows on your knees. “We used to mess around but that’s over. We’re just friends.” 

You couldn’t read his expression, but he almost looked relieved for a moment, before turning back to his desk. “You needed help with math?”

You nodded, getting comfortable and pulling out your book, flipping to the page you’d marked off, your notebook folded over to where you’d copied the questions. “I’m terrible at this stuff. My brain just can’t comprehend it.”

“Tch. It’s not that hard, princess.” He got up and sat beside you on the bed. “Gimme that.” He took your pencil and started writing, explaining the problem, and each step.

You were trying to pay attention, but you were kind of in awe of him. Katsuki Bakugou was the whole package; he was smart, strong, good looking. He gave a shit about people even if he was good at hiding it behind insults and a big ego. There was no doubt in your mind that he’d be at the top of your class again, and climbing the ranks to number one hero once you’d graduated.

“Are you even listening?” His rough voice startled you out of your thoughts.

“Sorry, yes.” You took back the pencil, working on the next problem, following the steps he’d given you. “Like that?”

He hummed. “Maybe you’re not as hopeless as I thought.” He looked kind of proud of you, and it made your heart flutter.

Thinking back to what you’d said to Shinsou earlier about him, you grinned. “I’ve got a good teacher.”

“Damn right you do. Finish the rest of them and I’ll check them over when you’re done.” He got up and moved back over to his desk, slouching down to read over his textbook.

You got to work, flying through the problems faster than you thought possible. Something about the way he’d explained it had clicked in your head, and it suddenly just made sense. 

“Here.” You held out your notebook when you were done. 

Bakugou looked surprised, but took the notebook from you and began checking them over. 

You stood up, walking over to his bookshelf, and looking at his books. A lot of them were manga, some you’d actually read yourself. There were some fantasy novels, like Game of Thrones and Lord Of The Rings, graphic novels like Locke and Key and The Walking Dead. You had a lot more in common with him than you’d originally thought. 

“You just need to fix this one. Make sure you show your work or sensei will mark you down.” 

You turned back to him and smiled. “Thanks, Bakugou.” You took the notebook back and sat back on the bed, working on the problem Bakugou had instructed you to fix. “I didn’t know you liked Lord Of The Rings.” You were formulating a plan, and as usual, it was half-assed. 

He grunted, turning the page in his book. “What about it?”

“You know they’re showing the extended version at the theater next weekend.” You chanced a glance up at him, surprised to see he was watching you.

“And?” 

He was either completely dense or he wanted to make your life harder. You were leaning toward the latter. You bit back a sigh. “So, do you want to go with me?”

“What, like a date?” He huffed, folding his arms over his chest. You tried not the stare at his bulging biceps.

You finished your math problem, shoving your notebook back into the textbook and setting it aside, leaning forward again. “If you want.”

“Hah? You want to go on a date with me?” His eyebrows were furrowed, eyes squinting, like he was trying to figure you out. 

This was going well. Not. “Yeah, I do.”

He clicked his tongue, shaking his head. “Aren’t guys supposed to ask girls on dates?”

“I mean, that’s kind of sexist, isn’t it? Does it matter who asks who?” Fuck, he was being an ass. You weren’t sure why, but you kept going. “Is that a yes?”

He seemed to be looking everywhere else but at you directly, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. “No.”

Your face fell, and you felt the tears welling up in your eyes. Determined not to let him see you cry, knowing he’d see it as a weakness, you forced a smile on your face. “Okay. Thanks again for your help, Bakugou.” 

You stood up, grabbing your book and your pencil, shoving it in the case and tucking it under your arm. You turned to the door, your heart aching. You thought you’d finally made some headway with him, but you were apparently wrong. This was an unmitigated disaster, and you couldn’t wait to crawl into your bed and never leave it again.

“Ugh, wait.”

You paused with your hand on the doorknob, turning to look at him. He stood up and walked up behind you, grabbing your arm lightly and pulling you towards him. You nearly dropped your book as your hand pressed against his chest to keep yourself from bumping into him. “What?”

“Go out with me next weekend.” He mumbled, his free hand moving up to push a piece of your hair away from your face. 

You blinked up at him, lost in the intensity of his stare. Suddenly, it clicked. “You just wanted to be the one to ask, didn’t you?”

“Obviously.” He rolled his eyes. “Don’t be an idiot.”

“Are you prepared to sit in a dark theater with me for three and a half hours?” You felt lighter, confidence back up to 100 percent. Trying to ignore how close you were pressed against him, you smiled.

He snorted. “If I didn’t think I could handle it, I wouldn’t have asked. I don’t do things I don’t want to do.”

He was right, of course. “Yeah, okay. It’s a date.” You leaned up on your toes and kissed his cheek before you lost your nerve. “Goodnight, Bakugou. See you in the morning.”

“Call me Katsuki.” 

Surprised, you just nodded. “Okay. Goodnight, Katsuki.”

You didn’t miss the pink blush on his cheeks when you pulled away, willing yourself not to look back at him as you turned around and opened the door, stepping out into the hallway.

Your night had gone better than you’d expected.

—

The rest of the week seemed to fly by, and the next thing you knew it was Saturday. 

You woke up at your normal 5 am and met Bakugou downstairs to start your run. You sat together on the grass, giggling and kicking his foot when he stretched his leg out beside yours. “What time did you want to leave later?”

He hummed. “The movie starts at 4. Did you want to eat before or after?”

Looking up at him shyly, you blushed. “We’re going for food?”

“Tch, of course. It’s a date, isn’t it?” He raised an eyebrow at you quizzically, looking at you like you were the biggest idiot he’d ever met. 

“Dinner and a movie? You’re really going all out, aren’t you, Katsuki?” Your heart swelled. You never imagined you’d get to this point with him.

He got to his feet, standing in front of you and folding his arms across his chest. “Keep it up and we won’t go at all.”

You squeaked. “I’m sorry!” You held out your arms and smiled when he grabbed your hands and pulled you up to stand. “After is good.” 

He nodded, rolling his neck. “Fine.”

You started running, trying not to smile when you noticed that he was letting you run beside him instead of making sure he was ahead of you. There were small things that had changed between the two of you since you’d decided to put some effort into building a relationship with him, and it made your heart flutter.

“Are you excited about tonight?” You wondered if he was nervous. Did Bakugou even get nervous?

He half shrugged. “I guess.” You didn’t say anything and he seemed to realize his answer was too short. “I didn’t get to see the extended edition in the theater so I’m looking forward to that.”

“Yeah, me too.” You had missed out on it too. Feeling a little bold, you continued. “Plus, it’ll be great to hang out with you.”

“You hang out with me every day.” He pointed out gruffly, shaking his head.

He had a point, and you felt like you probably sounded like a loser. No turning back now. “Yeah, I know. But this is different.”

He was silent for a moment, and you looked back over at him to see him deep in thought. His eyebrows were furrowed and he was biting at his bottom lip. “Why do you like me?” He asked suddenly, and you almost tripped over your own feet in surprise.

“What?” You managed to keep yourself upright, keeping up with his pace. He was blushing slightly, and it was probably the single most adorable thing you’d ever seen.

He kept his eyes forward. “Shitty hair says I’m scary. I know I’m not the easiest person to get along with, but you still want to go out with me, so I was just trying to figure it out.”

You rolled your eyes. “You’re not scary. People just don’t know how to approach you.” He scoffed and you continued. “I like you because you’re not a pushover. You don’t take anyone’s shit, you’re smart as hell. You’re going to be a great hero someday, Katsuki.”

“Ugh, shut up, you’re being sappy.” You saw the corner of his mouth twitch like he was trying not to smile.

“You asked! I’m just being honest.” You felt proud that you were able to get that reaction from him. “You know, I didn’t think you’d ever want to go out with me.”

His head snapped to the side, a scowl on his face. “Why wouldn’t I? You must be an idiot.”

“Hey!” You laughed. “Be nice to me.”

“I am being nice. I’m always nice to you, princess.” 

You didn’t comment on how the nickname he’d given you since day one made heat race pleasantly through your veins.

“Your definition of nice is slightly skewed, but I’ll accept it, I guess.” You didn’t want to push him too much, but you were curious. “Why does that make me an idiot, though? You never acted as you would ever date anyone, so I didn’t think I’d ever have a chance.”

The two of you rounded the path by the training grounds and started heading back towards the dorms. “I didn’t expect to…” He trailed off. “Look, being the number one hero is my top fucking priority. I didn’t even want to make friends and then Shitty hair happened.”

You nodded. Kirishima was a ball of sunshine that no one could avoid. He just had this way about him.

“You’re the only one out of all those extras that ever had a chance, okay?” He snapped his mouth shut, scowling, and you decided to let him be. The last thing you wanted to do was piss him off.

“Okay.” 

---

You finished your run, stretching and then heading back inside. You promised Bakugou you’d meet up with him around 2:30 so you had plenty of time to get to the theater.

After breakfast, you disappeared to your room for a while to knock out some dreaded weekend homework. Around noon you stood and stretched, deciding to take a shower and get ready for your date. You decided to wear a pair of black skinny jeans and booties with a cute top. Bakugou had mentioned wanting to take you out for ramen after, so you decided to keep your outfit casual but put together.

You met him in the common area a little after 2, ignoring the knowing grins on your friend’s faces as you left the dorm together, Bakugou’s hands shoved in his pockets, your hand looped through his arm.

You were walking down the main path in companionable silence, heading towards the road so Bakugou could call you an Uber to take you to the movies. Someone called out to you and you turned your head, your stomach dropping when you saw Shinsou making his way over. You glanced at Bakugou from the corner of your eye, noticing his tense posture and the frown on his face.

“What is it, Hitoshi? We were just leaving campus.” Your tone was clipped, not wanting to drag this out, since Bakugou was giving him a murderous glare. 

He lifted his arm to rub the back of his neck as usual. “Sorry, Y/N, I just wanted to apologize for what I said the other day. It was kind of shitty of me.”

You let go of Bakugou, crossing your arms across your chest. “Yeah, I’ll say.” You weren’t about to forgive him, not wanting him to walk all over you. “Was that it?”

His eyebrows furrowed. “Are you not going to forgive me?”

Bakugou decided to speak up beside you. “Obviously she isn’t, eyebags. Are you done? We have somewhere to be.”

“Hey, I wasn’t talking to you, Bakugou.” Hitoshi snapped. 

You watched as Katsuki lifted his right hand, his palm popping and sparking from his quirk. “Like I give a fuck? Fuck you, bastard!”

You grabbed his left arm. “Katsuki, don’t. He’s not worth it.” You looked back to Shinsou. “I’m not talking to you about this right now. We have to go.”

Hitoshi sneered. “Whatever, guess I was right, huh?” He turned around and started to walk away, turning his head to the side to throw a final insult over his shoulder. “Enjoy my sloppy seconds, Bakugou.”

It took an enormous amount of strength on your part to hold Bakugou back from running after the purple-haired boy. “I’ll fucking kill you, you fucking extra! Don’t fucking talk about her like that-”

“Katsuki, come on! It’s fine!” You tugged on his arm. “Let’s go.”

“It’s not fine!” He spat, but he let you pull him away, growling and snarling like a rabid dog. 

You kept a firm grip on his arm until he stopped looking back toward the other boy and you were a safe distance away from the school. He busied himself with pulling out his phone to call your ride, but you saw he was still seething quietly as he did so.

He shoved his phone in his pocket when you got to the road, moving to the side of the campus entrance and leaning against the wall. “What was he apologizing for?”

You looked away from him, knowing if you didn’t tell him he’d be preoccupied with it all night. You didn’t want to ruin the date but you knew how much he appreciated honesty, so you told him. “He insinuated that I was fucking you, and he basically called me a slut for moving on from him so quickly.”

He didn’t say anything for a moment, and you were afraid to meet his eyes. You were startled when he grabbed your hand, lacing his fingers with yours. “He’s a piece of shit, and I will gladly end his life if you want me to.” His red eyes were blazing, and you knew he was fully ready to make good on his threat if you said the word. 

You looked up at him, a small smile on your lips. “I appreciate that, but it’s okay.” Your heart was in your throat, and you felt your eyes watering. You knew Hitoshi was just being a jealous prick, but it still hurt your feelings.

“Fuck him. Don’t let him get to you.”

“I know, I won’t.” Somehow, Bakugou’s words made you feel better. “Can we just forget about him? I don’t want that to ruin our night. We have a date with some hobbits.”

He snorted. “Yeah, okay.” If he noticed your tears, he didn’t say anything. The Uber pulled up behind you and he pushed off the wall, his hand still gripping yours. “Come on, princess.”

—

It was nearly 9:30 by the time you got back to the dorms. You walked up the path from the road with Bakugou’s arm around your waist, your body pressed into his side while you walked.

You’d had a really good time despite the rocky start to your evening, thanks to Shinsou. But Katsuki had let it go, and you appreciated that he hadn’t let the purple-haired boy ruin your night. 

The movie had been great, and you’d been surprised when Bakugou had lifted the armrest between your seats and dragged you closer to him, letting you lean against him with his arm around your shoulder as you shared popcorn. You’d been half distracted by his warm palm against your arm, his fingers absentmindedly tracing patterns on your skin through the whole film.

You welcomed this new development, the feeling of his hand on your skin was comforting. It was a distinct contrast from his normal personality, and it made you soft for him. You never thought you’d see this side of him, and you were not complaining. 

After the movie, he’d taken you out for ramen as promised, and you’d giggled at him when he ordered his extra spicy, and he teased you when you got yours without any spice. You got to know more about each other, quietly swooning over the smirk on his face when he made you laugh.

Now you were back at school and dreading the moment you had to say good night. You didn’t want it to end.

“Do you...want to come back to my room?” His cheeks were dusted pink, and he almost looked shy. “I don’t want to go to bed yet.”

“Isn’t it past your bedtime?” You teased.

He growled. “Shut up, dumbass. Nevermind then.”

“No! No, I’m sorry, I was just kidding. I want to. I was just thinking about how I didn’t want the night to be over.” You leaned your head on his shoulder.

“Me either.” His voice was so quiet you almost didn’t hear it.

“What did you want to do?” You had a few ideas, and none of them were SFW.

He just grinned, holding the door open for you when you reached the dorm building. You walked into the common room, the both of you stopping to kick off your shoes. You looked up as everyone sitting on the couch turned their attention to the both of you.

Before they could start bombarding you with questions, Bakugou grabbed your hand. “Come on.” He started pulling you towards the elevators, ignoring Ashido yelling and whining from her spot on the couch.

“Sorry guys! We’ll talk later!” You called over your shoulder, nearly falling over when Bakugou tugged on your arm and pulled you into the open elevator. 

You braced yourself on his shoulders, looking up at him slowly as the door behind you closed. Your heart was jackhammering in your chest at your close proximity, and the warmth of his hands on your waist as he held you close made you dizzy. You licked your lips subconsciously, the nerves that had been simmering inside you nearly boiling over as you wondered if he was going to kiss you.

His cheeks were ruddy as he gazed at you, his fingers flexing against your hips. The dinging of the elevator reaching his floor ruined the moment, and he was pulling away from you too soon, clearing his throat. His fingers intertwined with yours again as you followed him out into the hallway, hoping that you could get back to what you were doing once you were in the safety of his bedroom.

When the door clicked shut behind him, you watched him fidget around the room, pulling his desk chair near the bed and opening up his laptop, sitting it on the seat. He sat on the edge of the mattress and looked up at you. “Are you going to stand there all night, or are you going to come over here?”

You moved over, sitting beside him, watching as he pressed the play button on some animated movie. “Is this Studio Ghibli?”

He grunted. “Background noise.” 

You blushed when you realized he didn’t plan on actually watching it. You met his eyes, feeling a chill roll down your spine when he smirked at you. The mood had shifted so suddenly, and it felt like he was less of the soft and hesitant boy at the movies, and more like the Bakugou you knew.

You weren’t complaining.

“Now, where were we?” His hands moved to your waist, tugging you forward. You rearranged your legs to straddle his lap, your back facing his laptop, your arms hanging over his shoulders.

You felt his warm breath, his nose trailing along your jaw. “Katsuki…”

“Hah?” He asked, his grip on your hips tightening. “Were you going to let me kiss you in the elevator?”

You hummed, nodding. The anticipation was killing you, and it was apparent that he could tell. You let your eyes flutter shut, licking your lips, waiting for him to do something.

You heard him chuckle, your hips rocking slightly against his lap causing the sound to be cut short as he sucked in a breath. “Impatient, huh princess?”

His usual nickname for you sent a shiver through you. “Katsuki, please.”

“Fuck, don’t beg. You don’t know what that does to me.” His lips were on yours before you could reply, needy and insistent. 

Kissing Bakugou was just what you’d always imagined it would be. He didn’t do anything half-assed, so you weren’t surprised by the passion behind it. Being this close to him was exhilarating. You could smell the faint scent of caramel on him when you breathed in, tilting your head slightly as he ran his tongue along your bottom lip. Your lips parted and he groaned, licking into your mouth as your hips rolled down against him again.

He pulled away, the two of you breathless. He didn’t go far, his lips trailing down your jaw and to your neck, nipping lightly as he went. You sighed when his hands moved from your hips, fingers drifting under the hem of your shirt and trailing lightly up your sides. You let your hands move to his hair, nails scratching lightly along his scalp and tugging at his soft locks as his teeth worried at the place where your neck and shoulder met. 

When he was satisfied with the blooming bruise on your skin, he pulled away to look you in the eye. Vermillion met Y/E/C with his usual serious expression. “I want you to know that I’m not just fucking around with you, you got that?”

Your eyes widened. “I-”

“No, listen to me, idiot. I don’t give a fuck about eyebags and his bullshit. I don’t want you to think I think like that bastard, understand?” His brows were furrowed and his voice was rough in a way that usually made your thighs clench. 

You ran your fingers through his hair again, pressing a little closer on his lap. “I know, Katsuki.”

His eyes fluttered closed and his hands settled on your hips when you scratched along his scalp before they snapped open again. “Good. Because if we do this, I’m not letting you go.” 

“I’m not going anywhere.” You assured him. Your heart was pounding and you couldn’t keep the smile off your face.

“If that purple-haired freak even looks at you again, I’m going to rip off his fucking face and feed it to Hound Dog.” His palms slid to settle on your ass, squeezing and pulling you to rock against the hardening bulge in his jeans.

You moaned softly, nodding again. You were so turned on you felt like you were going to come apart, and he’d barely even touched you. You briefly wondered if you had a voice kink, cause just listening to him talk was doing things to you. 

Sensing he was done talking, you leaned back slightly, grabbing the hem of your shirt and pulling it up and over your head, tossing the garment somewhere behind you. His eyes were glazed over with lust as he looked down at your bra covered chest. He dipped his head forward, tongue tracing the lace of the cup over the swell of your breast. You reached behind you and undid the clasp, gasping when he grabbed the offending object and pulled it down your arms and threw it aside. 

A blush rose over your body as he gazed at you hungrily, but your embarrassment was short-lived, immediately replaced with pleasure. He left a wet trail of kisses across the top of your breasts, his tongue laving over your nipple, hot breath turning cool as he blew over the hardening bud. You were panting, grinding rhythmically in his lap, seeking friction as he showered your chest with attention, switching to the other breast and giving it the same treatment. 

You pulled him up to kiss you again, hands moving to his back to grasp his t-shirt and tug on it. He got the hint, breaking the kiss to remove his shirt. You let your eyes drift over the absolute work of art that was his body, fingers trailing over his defined shoulders and biceps, and then back up across his collarbone. You leaned over to kiss along his neck, your nails trailing down his pecs and over his nipples, earning a low growl from the ash blonde. 

Strong arms moved around your waist as he picked you up off his lap and moved you over to lay down on the bed. He was hovering over you in a second, his forearms resting by your head as his lips met yours again, kissing and biting on your bottom lip. You keened, arching up into him, your hands in his hair and sliding down to the back of his neck to pull him closer.

His lips trailed away from yours, down your neck and chest, his hands moving as he slid down your body, his fingers deftly popping open the button on your jeans. He settled between your legs on his knees, pulling your skinny jean down your hips and thighs. You lifted your legs to help him, shivering when the cool temperature of the room settled over your bare skin. 

Fingers smoothed their way up your calf, his warm hands slid up the inside of your thighs. Your breath hitched when he spread your legs wider, tracing one finger over your clothed slit. The look in his eyes was positively feral when they met yours. “You’re fucking beautiful, you know that?” 

You sat up in response, hands moving to unbuckle his belt and unbutton his jeans. “And you’re wearing too many clothes, Katsuki.” You grinned up at him cheekily, making him chuckle.

He rolled his eyes, shuffling back off the bed to pull his jeans down his legs. Your gaze trailed over muscled thighs covered in light blonde hair, the black boxer briefs that hugged his thin waist, and the noticeable bulge of his cock that had your mouth watering.

He was back on you in a second, pressing you back against the mattress, lips ghosting over your heated skin as he ground his hips against yours. You moaned quietly, committing every touch to memory.

“You don’t know how long I’ve thought about this.” He murmured against your neck. When he pulled back to look down at you, his cheeks were pink with embarrassment at the confession. “Too fucking long.”

“Me too.” You didn’t want to say more, afraid too many words would ruin the moment.

His hand slid down, fingers trailing over the elastic band of your panties, before slipping underneath them. The calloused pads of his digits dipped through your folds, brushing over your clit and making you whine, back arching again. 

“Fuck, you’re wet, princess.” His forehead rested on your shoulder, and you felt him shiver against you. “I’m gonna make you feel so good.”

You didn’t doubt him for a second, your breath hitching when he moved his fingers lower, pressing one into your entrance. The digit curled inside you, and you clenched around it, your body craving more. He thrust in and out a few times, adding a second finger, his teeth sinking into your clavicle when you keened at the feeling. 

You felt like you were on fire, Bakugou’s warm breath ghosting over your skin as his fingers worked you over, his thumb pressing against your clit. You let the fingers of your left hand trail along his back, feeling his muscles ripple underneath your touch. Your right hand let go of the death grip you had on his sheets, crossing over your body to trace your fingers along the elastic band of his briefs, dangerously close to sliding underneath. 

Lifting his face from your neck, he licked his lips and removed his hand from your panties. You whined at the loss, pussy clenching around nothing. You pouted up at him, watching as he positioned himself between your thighs again, tugging your panties down and off. Warm palms slid up the outside of your legs, gripping your ass and lifting your lower half off the bed.

He leaned forward, kissing up the soft skin of your inner thigh, teeth nibbling as he went. Your breathing was shallow, anticipation crawling through you, and you shut your eyes, waiting for what you knew was coming next. 

His tongue licked a stripe from your entrance to your clit, and you moaned, body arching from the bed. He hummed as he repeated the motion, the lewd sounds of slurping filling the room, nearly drowning out your gasps and the sound of the movie still playing on his laptop beside you. He kept you lifted up with one hand, the other snaking between your legs, his fingers finding their home inside you as he sucked on your bundle of nerves.

“Katsuki, fuck.” Panting, your hand moving to rest on the back of his head, your hips rolling into his face as you climbed higher and higher towards your impending release. You felt him smile against you, two fingers leaving you, replaced by three. He expertly scissored them, stretching you out, your body sucking him in deeper as you gushed around his digits. 

“Gonna cum for me?” He peered up at you from between your legs. His voice was wrecked already, your eyes rolling back at the sound. You managed to nod meekly, tugging on his hair and trying to get him back to where you needed him most.

He complied, sucking on your clit hard, pushing you over the edge. You cried out, body shaking in his hold and stars exploding behind your eyelids, his tongue flicking over you again and again, helping you ride out your orgasm.

When you’d calmed, he pulled back, kissing your inner thighs again, waiting for you to catch your breath. He lowered you back down slowly, rubbing his hands up and down your legs. You opened your eyes, grinning up at him lazily.

“You good?” His arm came up to wipe the wetness from his mouth and chin, a smirk on his lips when you nodded.

You cleared your throat. “So good.” You sat up on your elbows, watching him stand again and shove his briefs down his legs. Your eyes widened slightly at his size, appreciating his body quietly. He was an adonis, and you wanted to trace over every inch of his body with your fingers and tongue. 

He didn’t give you a chance, crawling back towards you. You spread your legs wider to accommodate him. “Do I need to grab a condom?”

“I’m on the pill.” You appreciated him asking, most guys would have just gone for it, thinking that this type of conversation was a mood killer. “Don’t worry.”

“Oh, thank god.” Palms flat against the pillow beside your head, he bent forward and kissed you. You could still taste yourself on his lips, your hand cupping the back of his neck to pull him closer. You were practically vibrating, needing more of him, knowing you’d probably never get enough.

Leaning his weight on one hand, he sat back and used the other to guide himself to your entrance. Your hips rocked up toward him, impatient to feel him filling you up once more. He slid inside you slowly, letting your body get acclimated to his size. He was huge, but the stretch was delicious, burning pain giving way to pleasure as he pushed himself deeper.

Your nails dug into his shoulders when he settled over you again, your breathing ragged as you closed your eyes. He was petting your hair soothingly, moving slowly, his lips trailing along your jaw. When he bottomed out inside of you he paused, and you knew he was waiting for you.

Taking a deep breath, you wiggled your hips, clenching around him. He made a punched out noise when you did, his hand rubbing along your side freezing. He was being so patient with you, but you were ready. “Suki, move. Please.”

With one hand on your hip for leverage, he pulled back, thrusting forward in one fluid motion until he was filling you again, his pace slow and steady. Every time his hips met yours you mewled, overwhelmed with the feeling of his cock pulsing inside you. He was muttering curses against your lips, his hand in your hair, thumb pressed against the side of your neck. 

The scent of burnt sugar wafted over you, and you readjusted your legs higher around his waist, the new angle causing him to grunt. He felt so good, so warm, your body was alight and you were desperate for more.

Your moans and mumbled pleas of faster and harder were answered with a smirk, the boy between your thighs raising himself up to his knees and lifting one of your legs onto his shoulder. Large hands held your hips firmly in place as he slammed himself inside, tip kissing your cervix as you arched up in pleasure. He picked up speed, the sound of skin slapping skin filling your ears as you bit down on your bottom lip, focusing on the feeling of him filling you up just like you’d always wanted.

“Fuck Princess, you’re so tight.” He turned his head to kiss your calf, and you couldn’t help but purr at how attractive he looked in that moment, skin shining with perspiration as he fucked into you. “Taking my cock so well.”

“Katsuki, shit, you feel so good.” Your hands slid over your own body, fingers tweaking at your nipples. He was watching you intently, his tongue darting out to lick along his plush pink lips. He adjusted your leg, pushing it up and toward you so he could lean down and press his lips to yours. You breath mingled when he pulled back to brush his nose against yours. “Hey, let me ride you.”

He stopped moving, lips curling into a smirk. “Hah? You want to be on top, princess?”

Humming, you moved your leg back to the bed, leaning up on your elbows. He slid out of you, moving to lay beside you. You willed your body to move, your legs shaking as you threw one over him and hoisted yourself up to straddle his hips. Wasting no time, you gripped his cock, lifting onto your knees and lining him up, sliding down on his length. His hands gripped your hips, your palms resting on his abs as you rocked forward. You moaned in tandem, doing your best to rut against him, alternating with lifting yourself slightly and rocking, dragging your nails from his stomach and up his chest, leaving red lines across his tanned skin.

Katsuki threw his head back, eyes closed, his bottom lip between his teeth. He looked so pretty like this, his skin flushed and chest heaving, hair mussed from your hands running through it. You leaned forward, dragging your lips along his sharp jaw, breathing in the scent of caramel. Briefly, you wondered how angry he would be if you left a mark on his neck where everyone else could see it.

He chose that moment to tighten his hands around your hips, holding you steady as he bucked up into you, forcing you to sit up, your back arching in pleasure. The muscles in your legs burned from exertion, but you kept moving, bouncing on his cock and clenching around him. You knew you’d be sore the next day but felt too good to stop.

One of his hands moved from your hip, fingers trailing across your skin to dip between your thighs, one calloused finger pressing against your clit. Gasping, you moaned his name lowly, your head falling back as you felt your body preparing to throw you over the edge again. “Oh fuck, I’m close.” Voice trembling, you held your breath, letting your eyes close.

He sat up suddenly, his fingers moving faster, his chest pressed against yours. Your hands traveled up and over his shoulders, fingers carding through his soft hair as he pressed kisses to your collarbones. His breath was warm as he spoke, his rough voice as he whispered into your ear, coaxing you over the edge.

You clenched around him, eyes rolling back as you came, his hands gasping your hips as he slammed up into you, chasing his high. Your toes curled as you rode out your orgasm, nails digging into the pale flesh of his back as you tried to keep yourself tethered to him, feeling as though you might float away, his name shuddering from your parted lips.

Groaning lowly in your ear, he came right after, hips stuttering, his head falling to press against your shoulder. Your heart was slamming in your ribcage, breathing labored and skin sticky with sweat, but you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling. Bakugou’s hands were rubbing your back absently, his lips pressing kisses against your neck. 

Lying back with you still in his arms, you giggled quietly, moving yourself off to lie beside him, thighs aching and sticky with the mixture of your release. You watched him, studying the flush on his cheeks, the tiny freckles dotted across his nose that you’d never noticed before, never getting the chance to be close enough to see them. 

His tongue peeked out to wet his lips as he brought his hand up to push a piece of unruly hair away from your face. “You okay?”

You hummed, nodding. “Better than okay.” Your eyes fluttered shut as his thumb brushed over your cheek, fingers tucked in the hair behind your ear as he pulled you towards him to kiss your lips.

“Stay here tonight?” His voice was raspy when he asked, bottom lip tucked between his teeth. He looked so soft and vulnerable at that moment, almost like he was afraid you would say no.

Katsuki Bakugou was never timid or quiet or afraid of anything. You worried for a moment you might have broken him. Too tired to move or tease him, you smiled. “I told you I wasn’t going anywhere, Katsuki.”

---

Lunch was, once again, a rowdy affair. The girls sat around you, as usual, chattering and laughing. Everything was normal. Everything except for the fact that Ashido was staring you down, her elbow on the table, hand propping up her head.

You looked up from the math homework you were desperately trying to finish, meeting her eyes. “Is there something on my face, Ashido?”

“No, I’m just trying to figure it out.” She replied, looking at you incredulously. 

Puzzled, you frowned. “Figure what out?”

“How you did it.”

Before you could ask her what she meant by that, you felt a warm palm on your shoulder, and you turned to look into the ruby eyes of your boyfriend. He was holding out a bento box to you, his mouth in a tight line.

“Oh, thanks, Katsu. You didn’t have to.” You smiled up at him, taking the food from his outstretched hand.

“Don’t skip lunch, idiot. Eat it.” One of his eyebrows raised, as if daring you to challenge him.

You were hungry, so you didn’t, just nodding at him. He grunted and ruffled your hair before turning and walking towards his regular table, plopping down next to Kirishima and opening his own bento.

Moving your homework aside, you pulled the chopsticks off the top where he’d taped them to the lid and opened it, smiling down at the homemade meal. 

“That’s exactly what I’m talking about!” Ashido cried, and you looked up to see her wide-eyed, pointing at your food. “Since when does Bakugou do anything remotely like that for anyone?”

Hagakure squealed. “It’s so cute! Did he make it himself?”

Nodding, you shoveled some rice into your mouth. He was such a good cook, everything he made was always delicious, and it was definitely a perk of dating him. 

“Well, Ashido, when you’re dating someone, it’s not uncommon for them to bring you gifts.” Jirou chuckled, elbowing her friend. “They’ve been together for a few weeks now.”

“She called him Katsu…” Ashido continued. “Anyone else would have gotten a Howitzer to the face!”

Furrowing your brows, you blinked at her. “He’s my boyfriend, Ashido.”

Throwing her head back, she groaned. “I know I’m just saying, it’s so weird to see him acting so...domestic. I’m just wondering if you have like...a magic pussy or something.”

The entire table grew silent, the group of you staring at her in disbelief. 

“What did I just walk into?” A deep voice questioned behind you.

Turning in your seat, you saw Shinsou standing there, his hands in his pockets and his eyebrows raised. “Shinsou…”

“Can we talk for a second?” He looked nervous, and a little guilty. You cleared your throat, nodding as you stood up.

You could feel eyes on you from across the room, so you turned and looked over at Katsuki. He was standing up at his place at the table, brow furrowed and fists clenched at his sides. Kirishima was looking from him to you worriedly, his hand on your boyfriend’s forearm. Locking eyes with Katsuki, you smiled at him, shaking your head, mouthing at him that it was okay.

He didn’t look happy, but you watched as he sat back down, his glare trained on the purple-haired boy waiting to speak with you. You led Shinsou over to lean on the wall away from everyone, glancing up at him and waiting for him to speak.

“Look, Y/N, I just wanted to apologize to you again. I know my last attempt was kind of negated by what I said to Bakugou afterward and I feel like an asshole. You didn’t deserve that.” He slumped against the wall and sighed. “You and I were always friends before any of that other stuff, and I don’t want to lose that.”

You blinked up at him, biting your lip in thought. He was right, you had always been great friends, even before you started sleeping together. You knew he hadn’t meant what he said, but it still hurt you, and you didn’t know how to go back to the way it had been before. “I don’t know, Hitoshi.”

His brows furrowed when you used his real name. “Hey, listen. I’ll do whatever it takes. You just...take all the time you need. I’ll be here when you’re ready, okay?”

“I appreciate you apologizing, though. I accept it, I’m just not sure what to do from here. Our relationship has always been a little unconventional, and I’ve got Bakugou now…” Your gaze cut over to your boyfriend, his eyes still glued to Shinsou, a scowl on his face.

“I’m surprised he didn’t leap over the table and attack me when I came up to you.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “He’s kind of...feral.”

Snorting, you shook your head. “He trusts me. He’s not a bad guy, I tried to tell you.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll see you later then, Kitten. You know my number.” He smiled at you, bumping his shoulder against yours before walking away. 

Letting out a breath you didn’t know you were holding, you walked back over to your table and sat down, picking up your chopsticks again.

“Man, who is that pod person sitting there pretending to be Bakugou?” Ashido continued her rant from earlier, Shinsou’s visit and Bakugou’s subdued reaction adding more ammunition to her argument. “Normally he would have shoved his foot in Todoroki’s cold soba trying to get his hands on Shinsou.”

Shrugging, you glanced up at her, and then over to Katsuki, who was eating his rice moodily, his forehead creased. “He knows I can take care of myself.” 

“I swear to god,” Ashido sighed. “Aliens.”

She decided to leave it at that, the rest of your table giggling at her. You knew she was right though, Katsuki normally would have made good on his promise to rip off Hitoshi’s face. You had spoken to him about it a few nights before, however, and he respected your wish to handle it yourself. Even if he did grumble about it afterward.

When you’d finished your lunch, you packed up the bento in your bag along with the math homework you were never going to finish and stood up. Saying goodbye to your friends, you walked over to the boy’s table, leaning on the end of it. “Gentlemen.”

Todoroki nodded at you over his soba, slurping up the noodles on his chopsticks.

“Y/N, baby, how are you?” Kaminari asked, wiggling his eyebrows. You rolled your eyes, smiling when you saw him jolt, hissing in pain, and slumping over. “Bakubro, that was my shin!”

“Serves you right,” Your explosive blonde grumbled, crossing his arms across his chest. “Show some respect, dunce face.”

“Yeah, you can’t hit on her anymore, dude.” Sero pointed out before he turned back to you and smiled. “Hi, Y/N.”

Kirishima grinned at you. “Bakugou, that’s so manly. Defending your girl’s honor.”

“Tch.” Katsuki stood up, slinging his backpack over his shoulder and ignoring his friends. He turned his attention to you. “Did you finish your math?”

Smiling sheepishly, you grabbed his hand. “Nope. Come help me?”

He let out an exasperated sigh, his arm sliding around your waist as you walked together. “Maybe.” Smirking down at you, his fingers squeezed your hip. “What’s in it for me?” 

“My endless love and affection?” You pouted, batting your lashes up at him.

He shook his head. “I have that anyways, don’t I, Princess?”

You didn’t want to admit it, but he was right. 

[physicalturian]

[G] Gentle summer - Rengoku Kyojuro x GN!Reader - Part 7

[Contains spoilers from the movie, and the manga] [No pronouns used for the reader, no physical description; Everyone +18]

Words : 11 509

Archive of our own

Warning: nudity / Intimacy / Prepare some tissues

Inspired by those works : First Second Third on Twitter

— Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 -

I am seeing him again today, was the only thought running without ever stopping in my mind. Thrill and excitement were filling my entire being. That energy was put to good use by walking a lot, I barely saw time fly by. We did stop too many times for my taste, but complaining would do me no good. Instead, I was counting down the remaining distance until we reached the estate. I received a few comments from the most daring recruits, when my pace started getting too fast. Uchiyama was the recruit in question, he did not feel one ounce of fear towards me, even knowing I was his captain. He had put a hand on my shoulder and frowned. “Captain, are we in a hurry or something?” was what he had told me the time I dared speed up.

Chuckling, almost bashfully, I’d shaken my head and slowed down, “You are right, there is no rush. Should we take a break and eat?” When I heard the small voices behind agreeing, we all thought it best to settle for a while and have lunch. It did not take them long to finish their meal, even amidst their laughter and jokes. I was glad to see them so carefree after all they had been through. The look in their eyes had changed from the time they had joined the corps; they had lived through events that shaped the soul in the most awful ways, and I could see it in the absence of a glimmer in their gaze. Even with that change, I had them alive by my side and matured, it was the closest I could get to a success.

Losing myself in thoughts, I pondered more.

We had suffered losses, but what better way to mourn than to remember the good times we had and to keep living? To best honor the dead is to live a life we would define as worth it. Not to let others define it, but to feel in the depth of our core that we made the best of it, in our own way. Then again, everyone mourned differently. Takeshi and Daisuke were proof of that. The former had needed a lot of time alone; everyone had been there to support him, trying to joke around and to keep things as they were before all of it happened. Daisuke, while he kept a huge smile on his face, saw more than he should have at such a young age. He played it off, he kept his armour on, even if sorrow was written all over his face.

Many recruits were aware their friends died somehow, but they did not see it unfold in front of their eyes. But Daisuke had seen his partner get killed in front of him. It left him scarred, in the depth of his being, thatI knew from the relentless nights I spent by his side trying to calm his night terrors. Only time could help with the things he had gone through, but being with others that had lived through some of those things with him also had helped greatly. Seeing them knit-tight close was heartwarming.

It almost made me forget what was coming, what we were all getting ready for. Blinking out of my thoughts, I had come to the realization I was not participating much in the conversation.

I kept a certain distance from them when I was eating a bit further away. However, the distance was more than physical. I hated myself for doing so, but I could not let them get too close in case I lost them during this last battle. That thought crossed my mind too many times during this entire mission. Every time one of them came up to me for help, for advice, or even friendship, I would welcome them, but my heart would tell me it was a bad idea. Yet, I kept telling them to not hesitate if they needed to talk. A wrong move was the only way I would describe it, but I was their mentor, and we all needed some reassurance from time to time. I was the main provider of that reassurance, no matter how much I tried to talk sense into my actions of getting close to them.

“Captain! We should resume, I believe we just might arrive by lunch if we walk a bit faster,” Hana said enthusiastically. She helped everyone pack after I told her we could do that, adding that it would be great to have a warm meal and see everyone. I kept to myself the excitement I was feeling to finally see Kyojuro again; it was hard to do so with the little shivers I would get. The weather was far from cold, but the idea of seeing his beautiful face again, to be finally able to hold him, to enjoy more of him than that fleeting moment at the fireworks when our lips finally met, it sent energy coursing through my body.

As I was leading everyone, I could hear the loudest of my recruits talk in what they thought was a whisper, “Come on Jin, do you like the Captain? Is that why you’re all-“ Not wanting Jin to combust in embarrassment, I called out over my shoulder sternly, “Uchiyama, leave him alone. I suggest you learn the difference between admiration and love,” Pausing, I quickly added in a lighter tone, “Anyone would be amazed by my fighting skills, I could take you all in a fight,” I huffed jokingly. A few of them laughed and told Uchiyama he should keep his mouth shut, even adding that if the Captain was the one to reprimand him, he had fucked up. Seeing how everyone resumed talking merrily together, Daisuke approached me, bumping my shoulder, a bit too familiar for my taste but I let him.

“Say, you’re a bit quiet in the front. Is everything alright? You don’t seem excited to return to the estate,” Daisuke said, worry laced in his tone. His demeanor made him look smaller than he actually was, he acted shy and unsure of his movements, but all of that disappeared when he entered a fight. It was interesting to know he was the one I had seen fight with determination, with no hesitation in his motions, only raw strength capable of cutting body parts. He was the same man that had been by my side the entire month and throughout fights even as fear had overrun his body. Daisuke was a great addition to the corps and to my closer circle, even if I wanted to keep him away from me in case I lost him.

Looking at him with a playful smile, I lowered my tone and whispered, “If I may be honest with you, I am more than excited to return. However, it will not do us any good to have me all over the place,” I huffed a laugh, surprising Daisuke. A curious brow rose on his expressive face, “I’ve never seen you like this! Is there something waiting for you at the estate? Wait—is it the person you’ve been exchanging letters with?” He asked a bit too rapidly, his speech faster than usual from how thrilled he was. It made me chuckle more, my face heating up lightly, but I could blame it on the long trek we had started and not tell him I was flustered at the mere thought of Kyojuro. “It is, I have someone waiting for me,” and no words can really express how much I miss him, I thought, nodding with a chuckle.

“Can I ask who it is? I am curious now!” He asked in hushed whispers, a genuine smile adorning his features. Shaking my head, I rolled my eyes at how childish he sounded. But, it was heartwarming to see his interest, so I replied, “If you must know, it is the Fire Pillar-“ “Sir Rengoku! That is so grand! An intense man indeed, but definitely not as intense as sir Himejima, I remember my training with him…” He then started talking about his experience with Gyomei, I listened intently. For some reason, I preferred having him talk about himself than having him prying in my personal life. I still felt odd mentioning I was with Rengoku, no matter how much I loved him, simply because I was not sure people would take it well that we are having our own fun while a big battle was brewing.

I enjoyed having Daisuke talk by my side as we made our way back to the Butterfly Estate, of course I would not let him have a monologue, I would intervene and ask questions. Everyone was bantering light-heartedly behind us, which almost made the situation normal; I did not know if it was on purpose, to try to keep this faux-semblance of normality or if they were really carefree. The latter would be hard to believe, considering all they had been through recently, but I liked the idea of still having them optimistic and hopeful. How ironic.

The further we walked, the faster my heart was beating. I thought talking with Daisuke would help calm my rapidly beating heart, but all it did was embarrass me. I would sometimes stammer, my speech being faster than what it would usually be. That’s when I decided to keep my tongue in check and not speak as much as I would have liked. Daisuke did not find any inconvenience to that; I had seen his short smile the few times his gaze would look at the way my hand was clenching the handle of my sword. If I did not do that, I would have been drumming my fingers or playing with my hands from how stressed I was.

It took us a few hours of walking to finally reach the estate. Fortunately, the sun was high above our heads, meaning we had arrived around midday. It means more time with him, I thought eagerly. I had to take a deep breath to stop myself from running to the doors and tried my hardest to slow my pulse down. Everyone was chattering happily, some saying they could use a bath, others craved a bowl of rice, and I knew the quiet ones were longing for a good night’s sleep in a warm futon.

I longed for his arms. I wanted to run all around the estate to find him and throw myself at him, not caring if anyone was watching, not caring if he’d fall down. Would he be as excited as I was? Would he allow me to be this open? I am sure he would, he has never been discrete even before we officially got together, I thought with a smile.

“Captain, you can go find him if you’d like! I’ll get everyone to their room-“ “No, it’s alright. I am not that desperate,” a lie. A blatant lie. The pressure in my chest was insufferable, my insides were churning, more shivers ran down my spine with each step I took towards the mansion. If I put more thought into being aware of my entire body, I would feel how my feet were uncoordinated and my hands were clammy. Excitement was at its peak, and I knew I was more than desperate. I was aching to hold him, to touch him, to love him… “If you say so! We should hurry and get some food,” Daisuke startled me out of my thoughts.

Telling everyone to walk ahead, I made sure to secure the gate once we had stepped inside. They all seemed as excited as children on a field trip to the forest. I had a hard time feeling like that because my mind kept wandering to the thought of Kyojuro. When the recruits entered the estate, I stepped around the building and made my way to where I believed Rengoku could have been training his group. I made sure to hide my presence to not startle him and keep him focused. “One, two, three, and again! The other way, one, two, slash! Good work, good work! You are all improving greatly, I am sure we can go even further! Let’s try this again,” Hearing his voice made my heart burst with joy, but I kept my composure and leaned from behind the wall to catch a glimpse of his features.

I was caught off guard when I realized a new scar was adorning his beautiful face. While it was covered by an eye patch, I could see the pinkened skin on his cheek. All my excitement turned into panic, what had I missed? What had happened that left him like that? “You! Come here, try with me. If you manage to hit me, everyone gets a break, let’s begin!” I heard him speak loudly, his voice roaring like thunder as always. I got startled when he had called out the recruit, then realized he was not talking to me and sighed in relief.

He was smiling broadly, his hair sticking to his face as usual even if it was tied back. He did not seem to mind one bit to be lacking part of his sight and yet I could not help but feel pity. Would he want that? I do not think so, but there was no helping it. I wanted to interrupt him and talk to him aside, but seeing him training so hard, his determination unchanged and his skills just as sharp, I had to let him work.

Deciding to leave him alone until he would retire to his chambers, I turned around and was about to walk back to my recruits when my path was blocked by someone. That someone being the Sound Pillar.

“You’re back, why don’t you go talk to him?” He puffed his chest, his arms low on his stomach, hands hidden in the huge sleeves of his attire, as he looked at me with what looked like disdain. He seemed changed too; just like Rengoku, he had an eye patch. His was a lot less simple however, it was covered with little jewels. The married man was not wearing his Pillar outfit either, no. Instead, he had his hair down and had opted for a kimono that was very loose on the top, enough to show off his muscles. While I wanted to think he was showing off, the weather was warm and heavy, which could explain his attire. Trying to act casual, I shrugged, “He is busy,” I said off-handedly, looking to the side.

“See, you can’t look away now! It’s awkward enough that you’ve stared and all,” He grumbled, I quickly apologized, meeting his eyes again with a small smile. “God, you’re making this so awkward and for what?” He scoffed, annoyed, before gesturing for me to follow him with a motion of his head; as I did, I asked in all seriousness, “Do not be frustrated at me, how would you feel if when you returned from a long mission everyone had changed drastically?” The man had since calmed down and looked over his shoulder, his gaze observant and calculating. “Change is a big word, don’t you think? I like to say we were sketches, drafts, and now we are the final product, that is all.” He said, in the hopes of sounding poetic perhaps. “Each stroke is what makes the art, right? You paint over the lines you don’t like; you leave the one you feel makes it better, and sometimes when you accidentally brush over the paper, it looks great. Accidents are great.”

Offering him a slight chuckle, not really getting his metaphor, I nodded as I sat down when he did. He had guided us back inside, in one of the tea rooms and had gestured for me to pour us a cup each. I did not comment on his words. “What happened?” I asked as I brought the burning cup to my lips. It was not the greatest weather to drink such a warm beverage, but I enjoyed it, nonetheless. “You cannot ask someone how they got their scar-“ “Uzui, I am serious. Is there anyone that did not make it? Why was I not made aware of all the damage everyone had taken?” His demeanor changed greatly. While he had an air of playfulness, light-heartedness even, seconds ago, now he looked at me sternly.

Sighing, he leaned back on one hand and brought one knee closer to his chest, “The district was attacked, I am retired, nothing more,” He paused, giving me a long stare before continuing, “For the others, it happened at the swordsmith village. No one died, I think Ren took the most damage and he is doing great, as you’ve seen,” I had. I had seen how he looked, but even behind this enthusiastic attitude, I was certain he was exhausted and in pain, he had shared that at least through his letters.

I felt hurt that he had not told me about his injury, but I could not feel anger yet. He must have had a good reason to do so, and to find out I would have to talk with him. “Are you retiring with your wives or will they be continuing-“ “Of course I’m retiring with my gals! I’m just here to help train recruits, they need to be in perfect shape if they want to be able to carry my legacy,” He said with a loud laugh, I joined him in his joy with more modesty.

He had indeed not changed much, but there was still something different about him. Uzui had always been mature, as much as it pained me to admit it, but he seemed even more so now. What had he seen at the district, or perhaps had been through, that shaped him like that? I could see in his eyes he wanted all of this to be over, he wanted peace, to return to his wives’ arms and to relax. The time was nearing when he would be able to do so. And when that time comes, I will have a sunken feeling in my chest that will only be shaken off by our victory.

“You’re still stupid to not go talk to him, the man’s been blabbering without ever stopping about you,” He quirked a brow, looking at me curiously and added, “I do not know what you’ve been exchanging in those letters of yours, but it fired him up to a point where we can barely have him take a break,” Leaning forward, he took a sip of his tea then raised his index as he added “The recruits are definitely paying the price, I hope you’ll apologize to them.” A laugh of relief and joy escaped my lips upon knowing Rengoku had been encouraged by my letters. However, I did not know which part had had him in such a state; was it the dream of a peaceful life together or my lewd words? Whichever it was, a funny feeling settled in my stomach.

I leaned forward, resting my elbows on the small table in front of us, “I am glad it helped him as much as it helped me, I will admit it was very tense out there and-“ I paused, shaking my head, “I’m sure it is not of your interest how everything went down, so tell me,” Looking up at him again, I smiled and continued, making sure not to shove my cup with my elbow, “What made you want to retire? What happened in the district that led you to this decision?” His face turned sour, his gaze diverting to the cup he was holding for a short moment. Slowly, he set it down and looked at his lap a moment before lifting his head high once again. “This,” He spat, pulling his left sleeve to show his hand, or lack thereof. It was still bandaged, but I was not sure it was because it was still healing.

From his attitude, he seemed angry to show it, if not ashamed. What I knew was that he did not need pity, so I held back from showing shock on my face. Instead, I breathed out, “I can understand the change in career,” His face lit up in surprise, then he let out a loud laugh. “Yeah, kind of hard to fight now. But hey, that doesn’t mean I can’t please my women,” He said with a wiggle of his fingers. I had to give him a look at how vulgar it sounded. I still huffed a chuckle, “A lot of people are attracted to scars, I am sure Makio, Suma and Hinatsuru find you just as charming.”

I was taken aback when his cheeks turned redder. He tried to cover it by taking a sip from his cup, but I had seen it and found it relieving that even this loud man could be flustered from genuine compliments. “They’ve been great, I should be glad they’re not leaving,” I surprised myself when I reacted by instinct and leaned over the small table to hit the top of his head. The clutter of the cup hitting the tatami echoed, but I did not pay it any mind. “They are anything but shallow! How could you believe for even a second they would have left your side?” Seeing his eye widen in shock made me realize I had been louder than I had meant to be, and that maybe I had taken his words at heart. His situation could be compared to Rengoku’s, and if my lover had spoken those words to me, I would have reacted the same way I did right now.

“I am sorry for the outburst,” I whispered, sitting back on the pillow. “You have been through so much with them. So, even if insecurities are hard to reason with… you must realize how much they love you just from knowing they stood by your side even when you were the loudest man on earth, I would even say annoying,” I finished jokingly while still meaning every word. A change in his appearance would never erase all that they had been through together, I could only hope he would realize that.

He was looking outside while I spoke, and when I was done, he smiled sincerely, “I don’t need your speech, I am awesome, I know it,” He huffed, giving me a side look before adding, “But thank you, I am sure someone else would love to hear those words,” I knew full well who he meant, and I had planned on speaking them to him too, whether he needed to hear those words or not. If I was being honest with myself, fear was my first feeling upon seeing Kyojuro scarred, the second one was admiration and perhaps it added a charm to his bright face. A roguish look that I might become fond of without needing to put too much thought into it.

After this heartwarming talk Uzui and I had, he told me about what happened while I was away. How a lot of them almost died at the Red District, but also how they had defeated one of the Upper Ranks Six demons. From what he had told me, the fight was rough, but they had pulled through with little losses. The three young recruits that had been sent there while I was still here had pushed through and were now training with the Pillars. He briefly mentioned the fight at the Swordsmith Village, but since he was not there he only repeated what he had been told or what he had read in the reports he had been allowed to overview. He had not been able to see Rengoku’s report, but he had seen him come back, face and back bloody.

I felt sick hearing his storytelling, but kept a composed face. It was hard to fight the urge to run to Kyojuro and tell him all the things he wanted to hear, to hold him close and to reassure him. If I could, I would tell him to go back to bed and rest, I would even promise him I’d sing to him every day, every night, without ever stopping if that was what was needed to have him safe.

But I didn’t. I couldn’t. It would be selfish to do so, and he was doing great. At least, that was the façade he was showing. The truth is, I was not convinced he was alright, but Uzui’s words gave me hope that my lover was actually doing fine.

We talked for a long hour to catch up. It was enjoyable, even if we would usually bicker, we were adults and it felt great to be able to talk as such. What made us part ways was the grumble of my stomach after a while; it came with not joining the recruits for lunch.

I was told to go eat and rest, not only by Uzui but also by Sumi who had entered the tea room in case we needed anything. Dutifully, I followed their order and went to have a nice meal before going back to my room to unwind. It felt out of place reading and relaxing when people were training for a war. None had any will to take part in it, but as Gyomei said, one should not stop living in times of war.

So, relax I did.

I ended up daydreaming too many times on each page. My mind would drift off to the man I longed to embrace and caress, the one that was diligently working to improve the skills of the trainees only steps away from me. Oh, how I missed those warm days when I would practice in front of him, only to have him stand by me and touch me in innocent ways that would heat up my body in seconds.

With all the daydreaming I was doing, I decided to write my last report to focus my energy somewhere more useful before having a discussion with each of my recruits. I was able to do so since some had yet to go to sleep; those who did seemed to be sleeping peacefully from what I could see. Those who were still fully awake were talking together, trying to get their minds out of the dark thoughts that were plaguing them. They all welcomed me to their late-afternoon card games accompanied by deep conversations. It was relaxing somehow, even if we talked a little about what happened during our mission.

It all came to an end after a while when Kiyo slid open the door to the recruits’ dormitory and hurried to my side. Turning around to look at her with a confused expression on my face, she brought a hand to my ear, hiding her mouth as she whispered, “Rengoku is in his chambers, he is retiring for the night,” She stepped back, smiling happily. My face flushed rapidly, how did she know I was waiting for him to be alone to join him? Uzui was the obvious answer. Had he told the three girls to be on the lookout and to warn me as soon as he retired? Perhaps… If it was indeed the case, I could only be grateful.

I nodded, thanking her before excusing myself to the ones that had yet to fall asleep. Among them, Daisuke. He grinned broadly, “Have fun, Captain!” I threw him a dirty look that hopefully quenched his audacity, but it did nothing to help. The swordsman’s smile only widened before giving me a thumbs up. I shook my head with a scoff and a small smile before leaving.

Once I stepped outside the dormitory and made my way downstairs, I realized how quiet the estate was. It was one of those rare nights when we could hear the cicadas louder than anyone else around the place. Most of the lights were off, people had had their meal earlier than usual to go to sleep before the sun had even time to set. They were probably exhausted from training hard, and sleep must have hit them the moment their head hit the pillow, which was understandable from how intense the work they were doing was.

As I made my way around the estate, I was careful not to make a sound with my steps. I had left my getas down the stairs and had opted to walk about without them, only in my socks; it was safer if I did not want to awaken the sleeping beasts in the mansion. Some doors were open, which brought in fresh air inside, something very welcome after a long hot day. It was refreshing. Furthering my steps around, I noticed a light was still lit in Giyuu’s room. In all discretion, I went inside and blew it off. I had to hold back a chuckle when I saw he had the three most recent recruits in his room, poor thing, I thought. The demon girl that was also there was respectfully sleeping in her futon, the three others were all over one another. Only Giyuu was left far away, perhaps he knew how wild their sleep got and chose a safer spot.

I had to pause in my trek when the floor creaked under my steps. A moment passed before I could leave the room safely once I made sure they were all still asleep. The next stop was Rengoku’s room. As I approached his room, I hesitated for a moment to call it our room in my head, it did feel nice to call something ours. Huffing to myself, I looked ahead and saw the flickering of the light inside; it was a relief to see he was not asleep, it meant I could catch up with him.

Choosing not to knock, I stepped inside. To my surprise, he was not there. His haori was laying on the ground, but he was nowhere to be found. The worst scenario came to mind as I considered the idea that he had been taken; with heavier steps, I looked around only to see him sitting outside on the veranda. A sigh of relief left my lips; seeing him after so long made my heart soar and left me frozen on the spot for what felt like ages until I found the strength to step closer to him. Calling his name softly I had hoped he would turn around, but he was left unmoving.

It was surprising to be able to catch him off guard, but I jumped on the opportunity and made my way to him. I stepped down the small step separating the veranda and the grass to stand in front of Rengoku’s sleeping form. His arms were crossed, his usual determined frown had left his face, leaving him relaxed and soft-looking. Oh, I had missed him so much.

His eyepatch was on his lap, and by his side were some paper, a pen and ink. His dominant hand was covered in the latter, it was adorable to see and even funny, but I was not here to mock. I did not glance at what he had been writing, instead I pushed back the hair that was covering his face, leaning in and kissed his forehead, then his brow where the scar was crossing from a bit higher on his forehead down to his cheekbone. I felt him stir a bit in his sleep, his head moving on the beam on which it was resting as a frown drew itself on his face. Smiling, I leaned back and started humming a song I had sung to him many times, whether it had been in times of boredom or when he could not fall asleep. My goal was to wake him up subtly, calmly and without startling him.

That did not work out as I had thought.

Without even opening his eyes, Rengoku reached out for me. I stepped back in time to avoid his grip, then whispered his name hurriedly. This time, he woke up quickly and let his arm fall to his side when he realized it was me; his expression turned into one of surprise then into a look of sadness. Quickly, his eyes teared up, I rushed to his form and wrapped my arms strongly around him. “You are back already,” He breathed joyfully, his hand threading through my hair as he pulled me closer. “I am back,” I nodded, gripping his back tighter only to have him wince lightly.

I let go rapidly and tried to pull away to look at him, but he did not let go, “Give me more time, please, I need to hold you—come let’s sit!” Without ever letting go of me, he sat down then had me rest both of my knees on either side of him while he sat crossed-legged and wrapped his arms around my form. I held him just as tight, my arms around his head instead as I held him against my chest while my cheek was against his head. The angle was bad for my neck, but I did not care one bit. I could feel my heart thumping in my chest more strongly than it had ever been and warmth was spreading all through my body.

“Would it be alright if I did not let you go until the morning?” He mumbled against my chest. His words were inarticulate from how he was pressing himself against me. “I would really like that, but first I said I wanted to worship you… Right?” I whispered softly, kissing the side of his head before trying to cradle his beautiful face in my hands. He kept his face against it, not moving, his hands gripping the back of my kimono a bit tighter. “There was a reason it took me so long to reply to your letters, my love,” He was serious, but his tone was laced with sadness and uncertainty. A nervous laugh escaped his lips, then slowly, he pulled away, his face still looking down. “You’ve mentioned many times liking my eyes, and the way I looked at you and… I’m not sure you will feel the same now.”

As he looked up, he slowly opened his eyes, revealing a bright fiery orb on the left and a ghost-like colored one on the right. He was unsure, his eyes were deeply looking into mine for any sort of sign that I was going to leave or hated it. Instead, I pressed a deep kiss on his lips and grinned, “Why would I not like it? A wise man once told me that scars were battle medals-“ He chuckled, interrupting me, “Do you realize you had told that to me, first? You had said it made us unique,” He smiled beautifully, his stress slowly leaving. My eyes widened; he had remembered that? If I said that, why can I not heed my own words when it regards my own scars? I thought briefly, but then looked back at Kyojuro bashfully, “I was not wrong, but the wise handsomeman I am talking about also said…” I trailed off, my hands cradling his face as I kissed his cheek, then his cheek bone, then his eye-lid, the Pillar chuckled timidly at that but let me do as I wished.

“…that scars were beautiful and mesmerizing, like the stars adorning the night sky. And just like the night sky, I wish to look at you until I see a glimpse of the sun rising, or perhaps until one of us falls asleep. I wish to bask in the serenity you bring and never let my gaze strand away from how beautiful you are,” because I love you, I held back from saying so, but it grazed the tip of my tongue. Our eyes never left one another’s, and even as I stopped talking, he did not speak. He looked at me in a mix of awe, adoration and perhaps a part of him still hesitated and needed to be convinced. I could feel my cheeks heating up from how intense his gaze was but loved every second of his attention. It pushed me to talk with more boldness.

Leaning over, my lips hovered over his, what am I doing? Where does all this confidence come from? Were some of the many questions crowding my mind; I was glad my hands were on his cheeks, it stopped them from shaking. The thoughts of uncertainty in my head were not mirrored by actions as I breathed against his lips, “If I remember correctly, that same man had written in his letters that he would like to worship me respectfully.” I held back a moment, brushing my nose against his before planting a delicate kiss on his lips. He tried to return it, but I pulled away quickly, chuckling, “I would love to do as I promised, and worship you instead,” My tone was so low, I was not sure he could hear me, but from how his body tensed I assumed he did.

I let my hands slide down to his shoulders, my eyes never leaving his in case he felt like he did not want to continue. Slowly, my hands slipped inside his kimono and on his bare shoulders before lazily pulling the sleeves down as my hands slithered down his arms. “My love, I cannot express how much I wish for your hands on my body right now,” He started and grabbed my hands delicately, bringing them to his lips before placing a kiss on it, “But I wish to know you are good too, and if you’d allow me, I would like to strip you of your beautiful kimono and kiss-“ I had darted my gaze back to his exposed skin when the word ‘strip’ left his mouth.

He stopped soon after and lifted my chin for me to look at him, “Are you still not hearing my words? Do you not understand that my adoration will not stop the more unique you get, my love?” I replied with a weak ‘I understand’ but he was not convinced at all, “Look at me,” he said sternly. I smiled when he said so, there was nothing I wanted more in the world than to look at him, but I still felt like the gash on my back was not the most beautiful. But then again, I was sure that with time I could get over it, and that his sweet words could help me get that confidence faster.

“I am looking,” I said in a low tone. Looking was a good word, but gawking would have been more adequate. The more I looked at him, the more I was getting used to that slight change on his face, and I was liking it more and more. I had not intended to make him feel self-conscious by ogling, but I felt like I had done just that when he smiled timidly, “You are indeed, and so am I,” He chuckled as he leaned in and captured my lips tenderly. I was grateful he did not break the kiss fast, instead he brought his hands to my jaw and tried to bring me closer to deepen the kiss. It felt so right and so good, I mirrored his hunger with a bit too much passion and made him fall backwards.

I apologized so fast it made Rengoku laugh loudly as he let his head hit the ground, “It’s alright, I love the enthusiasm,” His eyes traveled from my face down to my body, then to my hands that were gripping his shoulders tight, “I would suggest you kiss me again to help the pain away, I am sure it would help,” Looking down at him in surprise, I felt my cheeks heat up again, but leaned over with a stupid smile to then kiss his shoulder instead of him. “There?” I asked playfully. “Or there, perhaps?” I asked again, this time kissing the junction of his neck and shoulder. “My love, you are playing a dangerous game, I would like to kiss your pretty lips,” He said with a reddening face, his hands traveling to my waist where he held me.

I left a trail of kisses from the side of his throat to his jaw to finally kiss him passionately on the lips where he grinned into the kiss, returning it just as happily. “Can I suggest something? For the two of us to do?” He asked, his eyes burning into mine with intensity. My body temperature suddenly rose, I looked at him with flaming cheeks and looked at his still bare chest from when I had slid the kimono off him. “Yes, but I cannot promise I can stay silent-“ He covered my mouth quickly as he sat up, his face burning bright while an embarrassed smile painted his lips, “That’s not—I am so flattered, dear, I truly crave your touch, but what I had in mind was slightly different, if not very,” He chuckled timidly.

With eyes wide, I pried his hand away from my mouth and stood up, “That is embarrassing, do not think of me as wanton-“ Holding my sleeve as he stood up, Rengoku kissed me softly, “Then I will take the blame, I have no shame in saying I want you.” As if in a rush, he let go of me and stepped inside, his hand held out to me as he said, “Stay there, I have a great idea, bear with me my love, simply,” He moved his arm up and down, gesturing at my form, “Stay right there—no, actually, come sit on the futon, yes, yes the futon!”

He was suddenly hectic. A very different mood from seconds ago when I thought we were about to finally be together in more ways than one. I humored him and knelt on the futon, my hands on my knees as I looked at him, pink scars covering almost all his back. I resisted the urge to stand up and kiss all of them, as hard as it was. The lion-like man was careful when taking something from the cabinet, his sleeves hanging on each side of him for he still hadn’t dressed back. “As a child, when Senjuro would get hurt, I would have him draw the shape of his wound on paper, then draw around it, or with it, to make something fun. It would always make him smile,” Kyojuro told me, his eyes drifting to nostalgia as he did so. I wanted to know more about his brother, and his family in general, but I hardly believe now was the time to ask more about it. He had something in mind, and I was curious to know what it was.

“If you are not convinced you are gorgeous, even with scars, then let’s make it a real work of art!” His words were accompanied by his placing of a painting palette on the ground. A glass filled with dirty water and a few brushes were put on the ground too with just as much care. He then looked at me determined, but his gaze was searching mine for any sort of unease, just like before when he had revealed his eye. This time, I was hesitant, “You are suggesting I paint my-“ “I am suggesting to paint your back, your scar, with something so beautiful you will see it the way I do! And if you would like it, you can do mine too,”

Looking at him for a moment, I considered. My eyes trailed to the paint, then the tools around it to finally look back at Rengoku. He was already tying his hair back to get it out of the way. Seeing how thrilled he seemed by the idea, I thought it would not hurt to try; it was also an excuse to have his hands on my body, which rendered the idea even more appealing. Those weeks apart had made me crave his touch so much I was desperate for it.

“I will do yours first, if you do not mind. It will give me time to get used to the idea,” I smiled while mentioning him to turn around. A broad smile displayed itself on his face when his cheeks flushed pink, “Thank you for indulging me, let me-“ leaning over, he held my face between his hands gently and kissed me tenderly once again. The love dripping from his action made my heart beat faster, I kissed him with the same fervor, perhaps too much as my tongue tried to pry open his mouth. He pulled back laughing shyly; his thumb brushed over my lips while his expression was one that confused me. He seemed very concerned and happy at the same time. He was even about to say something but held back. Seconds after, he said, “I missed you so dearly, please, don’t be scarce with your touch.”

A breathless laugh escaped my lips while I nodded, “The thought never crossed my mind, now turn around,” I chuckled. Rengoku seemed insistent on looking at me and resisted when I placed my hands on his shoulders to turn him around. I laughed at that, for I struggled greatly seeing how unmoving he was. “Kyo, can you please turn around,” “Then I can’t see you!” He complained playfully. Pointing at the full-length mirror in the corner of the room, the one that was turned to face the wall, I said, “Then we move there, would that be better?”

After his approval, we moved to the front of the mirror after turning it around to face us. The man sat with his back straight, his hands resting on his knees as he looked at me thanks to the mirror. I had not realized he was doing so until I was done with mixing some paints to have some dark brown and had brought the paintbrush to his back. When I did, I looked over his shoulder and could see him smiling broadly, to which I said, “Is there something on your mind?”

“The same thing has been on my mind for the past four weeks and I am more than glad that my thoughts have manifested themselves today,” He winked flirtatiously. Feeling my cheeks flush, I told him to lean a bit forward all while pushing his head gently. He rested his elbows on the ground, his chin in his hands. Before starting the painting, I could not stop myself from kissing his shoulders. It earned me a giggle and a soft-spoken “Don’t be shy, your lips are welcome all over my body,” I followed his words and peppered kisses all over his scarred back, making sure to kiss each individual one. When I was done, I could see his face had reddened greatly and he was still looking at me in the mirror, his eyes glimmering with joy.

When I brushed the first stroke of paint on his back, he tensed suddenly but not without making a high-pitch sound of surprise. “I am sorry, is it cold?” I asked worriedly, pausing with my free hand on his shoulder. Turning his head slightly, he pressed a kiss on my fingers and shook his head, “I am a bit ticklish; those brushes feel like feathers on the skin, I was caught off guard,” He explained before positioning himself like he was before. Humming, I resumed my painting. From the beautiful pattern on his back, I could see a big tree that started more on the left of his back before growing up to his shoulders, the branches reaching across his shoulder blades and one over his left shoulder.

A few minutes passed; I was focused on the art that was happening in front of me. It was also irritating me faintly that I could not touch him properly, I wanted to hug him and fall asleep in his arms and as enjoyable and intimate this was, I wanted more. I needed to think of something, that’s why I asked out loud, surprisingly at the same time as the Pillar, “Should we start thinking of a name for our four-legged friend?” was what I said, Rengoku however was on a different note, “I am sorry for not talking, you are just so beautiful-“ He apologized for speaking at the same time as I did, so did I. Both of us laughed nervously. With a short gesture, he told me to go on, but I had heard his words, so I teased.

“Uzui told me my letters lifted your spirits,” I started, his face flashing in surprise then embarrassment, “Tell me, which part made you the gladdest?” Don’t start, I told myself. You cannot be this touch-starved to start something in the midst of an innocent painting, I scolded myself internally. I had finished the trunk of the tree, and was now mixing the colours to create a pink shade. Was I confident in my cherry tree leaves making? Not entirely. But I was going to give it my all. “Thinking of retiring with you!” He said a bit louder than he had spoken the entire time we were together. A disappointed “Oh,” escaped my lips without even going through the thinking phase. I quickly looked up to tell him it was nice, to add I was not disappointed, but when I saw his look in the mirror it had darkened. It was not as joyful as usual.

It was not sad either, but the smirk on his lips definitely helped me gauge the emotion portrayed on his face. “My love, are you disappointed?” His hand slowly reached behind to touch my knee. His fingers deftly helped the hem of my kimono out of the way to finally touch my bare skin. I had since stopped painting and was now staring right at him in the mirror. A huge innocent grin made its way to Kyojuro’s lips, “Would you rather I had said the idea of feeling your body against mine once again was what fueled me to get up, in more than one way, in the morning?” The brush was thrown on the wooden plank where the paint was as I leaned my head over his shoulder and slithered my arm to the opposite shoulder to cover his mouth.

I rested my chin against his collarbone and breathed out nervously, I felt him smile behind my hand. “Why are you being naughty now of all times?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. Prying my hand from his mouth, the beautiful man pressed a kiss in the palm of my hand, “Because you have started it, I am only now joining in on the fun,” He then gave me an innocent look, the one he would usually have, as if he was not trying to rile me up, “I will stop if you ask me,” “I am not—I have not said that.” With the tip of his index and thumb, Rengoku lifted my chin and kissed me softly. The angle was not the best for such actions, but I melted into it without hesitation. “Very well, I am glad to hear it. Do not stop painting my love, I am impatient to see the final product!” He grinned enthusiastically.

Getting myself together, I leaned back and realized I had paint over some parts of my Kimono, “I dirtied my kimono because of that, I will blame it on you,” I said playfully, earning myself a loud laugh from the Fire Pillar as he added, in that same tone, one that is almost carefree, “Do not worry, we will dirty it even more,” He threw me a soft smile mixed with something I rarely saw on his face, arrogance? Pride? He added, “That is… if you’ll allow me, of course,” Bringing the back of my hand to my forehead, while still holding the brush between my fingers, I wiped the non-existent sweat, then resumed painting.

“My dear, if you keep that up, you might regret it,” I trailed off, my eyes staring right at his for a mere instant before focusing on his back once again. The pink was beautiful adorning the top half of his skin, up to his shoulders and even a bit on his bicep. I thought to myself it did not look as bad as it could have looked, after all I had no experience in skin-painting, nor painting at all. I was no artist, only a fighter. Broadening his smile, he moved his elbow to rest it on his knee. He was still sitting tailor-style which made him look so good when he rested his cheek on his knuckles. The teasing expression adorning his features drew me in, even more after he spoke, “Regret? You are more than welcome to use me, if that is what you so desire. Your gaze has been more open than your words, for the former has the honesty the latter lacks,” I was about to tell him off when he said, “My apology, I meant that I can read the lust in your eyes, even if your words are reprimanding me for being… wanton, as you would describe it,”

While I smiled to myself upon hearing his words, I could still feel the warmth in my cheeks. The embarrassment was strong, but I still teased back, “You are the first thought in my cloudy mind when I wake up,” I quoted his words from the letters as I put the paintbrush in the water, the look on his face was such a sight I could not help but lean over his shoulder and kiss his jaw. “My heart and body long for you and your…” Looking at him in the reflection, I delicately let my hand wander down his stomach. My heart was speeding up and I could see his eyes looking down at my hands, curious, wondering if I would dare do it. “...Touch” I then undid the knot of his kimono to feel him more, to have one of us act the words shared through those letters when his hand stopped me at such a speed I gasped silently.

A tight smile was on his lips. I loved seeing him like that, not fully out of control but trying hard to resist the inevitable; to resist the pull that was happening between us. Our long separation had only strengthened that need for intimacy, that need to be close, skin against skin, legs intertwined, breath mixing, and warmth shared under the blanket. “I have yet to paint your beautiful body, my love, will you be good and behave until I am done?” He asked with such a sultry look I was tempted to tell him there was no need to paint me, but he wanted to do it. So, I smiled stupidly, “You say behave as if I was a wild animal,” I chuckled, gesturing for him to turn around to look at the final product. He slowly did, while I focused my gaze on the reflection behind him.

He did not even glance at his back, instead he leaned over and kissed my neck softly while whispering, “Your wild, adventurous hands that needed to be caught to be stopped from going on a rampage, tell me otherwise,” I leaned my head the opposite side of his head to give him better access before even assimilating his words. His hair was tickling my throat as he trailed kisses higher on my skin, I gasped a laugh when his lips brushed over my ear then breathed, “Can you blame me? You have an addictive personality, and an even more addictive touch.” His chuckle was right next to my ear, I wanted to hear more of him. With his breath in addition, I felt a shiver run down my spine and looked at the door in case someone came in.

“And I am obsessed with your voice, but I have not made you moan yet, have I?” He huffed another laugh before kissing my cheek and leaning back. I was aware my gaze was flicking between his gorgeous eyes then his hands, many times. Before looking over his shoulder and into the mirror, Kyojuro looked me up and down, a proud smile on his beautiful lips, “Flustered, gaze askance and scared of being caught… Exactly how I had imagined it.” This effectively brought my eyes back to his in the mirror, this time with a pleasantly surprised smile, “Those letters of yours, they made me realize you had a way with words,” I started. He smiled, his beautiful eyes not leaving mine yet, “It made me wonder two things.”

Humming, he told me to go on all while gesturing for me to sit in front of him to start painting. My cheeks warmed up again at the thought of undressing in front of him. My fingers danced on the knot around my stomach while I spoke, “The first one being, if you have such a way with words, how come I have never received a poem?” I said playfully. It made Rengoku panic, his paintbrush falling from his hands as he looked at me with wide eyes. I quickly spoke before he could, “I am teasing. I was only wondering one thing, I would never be entitled enough to ask for a poem,” I said off-handedly.

This made his face burn bright red as he looked at me intently, “I have written many poems!” He said loudly, smiling. That smile turned more timid when he said, “About the one that is always on my mind, the one that makes my heart sing louder than cicadas in the summer. The one that keeps surprising me, no matter the amount of time spent together; I keep getting caught off guard by the words escaping from that someone’s mouth…” He said gently, his tone slowly turning deeper, more sultry. I felt like a comedian on stage, everything was pointing at me, I had all his attention, and I could not run. When he uttered the last word, his face was over my shoulder and he was smiling genuinely at me, “That someone is you, if you had not understood.”

“I had, I… am flattered. Maybe I will write you a song-“ Feeling like a great idea had struck me, I turned to look at him quickly, bumping our noses together. Both of us laughed as he put a bit of distance between us, “I could put a tune to your words, I could sing them—perhaps write words of my own to have you properly flattered,” I chuckled. A sound of surprise caught in my throat when Rengoku kissed me passionately, stopping my sudden rant and calming my burst of enthusiasm. When our lips parted, he stared at me lovingly, “I love this idea, I love it very much.” I giggled nervously, feeling stupid for doing so but did not add anything else. After a moment passed, he turned my head towards the mirror and gestured at my kimono as he said, “Now, what were you wondering upon reading my letters?”

I scoffed, my fingers dancing on the knot of my kimono, “I would hate to ruin the sweet mood that has been set, maybe I shouldn’t-“ Kyojuro wrapped his arms around my waist and pried my hands away from the knot I was not undoing to do so himself, all while talking and looking at me in the mirror, “Do not play a prude when your hand was between my legs minutes ago, my love,” He said softly. The tone was not depicting the actual insinuation of his words, which made it even more attractive that it was just from being spoken by him. He kissed my cheek again, pulling the knot away from my form, “Go tell me, share your obscene thoughts with me! Who knows, I might just share them,” He winked.

I tensed when I felt his nails scratch the back of my neck slightly as he held the collar of my attire. He paused, hesitant but not talking yet. I gently pushed his hands away and took a deep breath; as I let it out, I dropped my kimono off my form and said, with a fleeting gaze, “I wondered if that well-spoken man would keep his manners in bed, if your way with words would remain if you felt good.” I kept my back straight, hoping that if I did so, I wouldn’t shy away from his gaze. My confidence was a lie; even if I kept my head high and I had changed the topic, I knew full well that a seed of insecurity was germinating in the corner of my mind.

My whole body stiffened when I felt the warmth of skin on my scar. I did not pull away, but even if I tried, hands were holding my waist. It made my escape impossible. “Did you know that not one tiger has the same stripes as the other? It is a way to identify them, but also shows how unique they are.” It was slightly helpful and funny, I did not move and listened to him as he traced his finger over the length of my scar, from the side of my hip to the middle of my back. Mumbling to himself, he said he would try again, and try he did. “Perfection is like beauty, everyone has their own criteria they wish to meet, for themselves or for others,” This time I could feel the brush on my skin and shivered, my hair rising on my arms and neck.

“Now, you cannot force anyone to meet the criteria you like or wish for, that would be hard, yes,” He paused, dipping the brush again, his eyes focused on my back, “What you can do, is look at yourself, and see what makes you unique, what defines you, what are your more prominent traits—you make all of those yours, you embrace the traits you like and work on those you don’t,” His gaze met mine in the reflection, with a sweet smile he kissed the back of my head and added, “And what you have to do, is trust your body, love your body, it has gotten you through so much that it deserves all the love and worth in the world. Give your beautiful self worth.” I could hear him smile, his face was behind mine as he leaned over my back to paint details.

“Because knowing you are worth it, you will understand that you are your own perfect, and that perfection is a state of mind.” There was a long pause as I took in his words, while I still felt exposed being uncovered on my top half; while it was something I had never done around him, I still felt comfortable. At least more comfortable than before. A question set on the tip of my tongue; I was hesitant to ask it. “I am sorry if I stepped over some boundaries, we can go back to your question-“ “Do you like it?” His eyes widened. He paused his strokes and looked over my shoulder, confusion adorning his oh so beautiful face. “The topic of before-“ “The scar, do you like it? I will not see it much; I can ignore it, but…” I trailed off, not knowing what I wanted to say more.

Suddenly, kisses were planted on my back, all over it, first on the side of my scar, then on my shoulder blades, to finally reach the top of my shoulders, “I absolutely do! What could be more attractive than knowing how strong you are? And willed, determined! You are so beautiful-“ He looked up, a big smile on his face. I had to hold back a laugh when I saw the green paint on his lips. He had kissed paint that had not dried yet but did not seem to care one bit. “You are my perfect,” He said softly, wiping the paint from his lips with a cute smile.

My throat tightened; emotions were getting the best of me at his kind words. Laughing nervously, I looked down and wrapped my kimono back around me loosely. A gentle tug on my hand made me look over my shoulder then fully turn to face Kyojuro. His face was hesitant at first, but he beamed at me then reached for both of my hands instead, his thumbs brushing over the back of them, “I am going to be selfish—will you bear with me?” Knots tied in my chest, it felt heavy suddenly, but I nodded, my joyous attitude dropping from his words. “I know we do not know the outcome of this final fight; I know that. I am an optimist, I believe in all of us, but anything can happen—that’s why, that’s why I-“ He took a deep breath, bringing my hands to his forehead as he sniffled. His voice cracked as he expressed himself; it broke my heart. Was he going to put an end to this dream-like partnership?

I never let go of his hands, instead I tightened them around his. There was nothing else I could do until he was done laying his heart bare. I was fighting hard the tears that were threatening to fall. What about our future plans? What about retiring? What about our dog? Was this all play pretend? Was I hopeful for nothing?

He brought my hands back to his lips and kissed the tip of my fingers,

“I know it’s selfish to lay it out like that, I know… But I love you, I love you so much. I want you to know it, and that is what is selfish about me. You told me once that I could be selfish, that selfishness was good sometimes,” He brought each of my hand on each of his cheeks, placing his on top to press them closer, “I need you by my side forever, I wish to hold you every night, to hear your voice when I wake up and when I go to sleep,” a kiss was placed on my palms, he then let go of my hands but I kept them there, holding him closer.

He leaned in, eyes teary with a stupid smile on his handsome face, “… to see you trip on the tatami, to have your hands in my hair and to eat the best food with you,” I laughed through my silent tears, a smile matching his adorning my lips, “To love you is all I want,” He whispered before kissing me tenderly. The stress I had put on myself thinking he was going to leave me left through laughs in the kiss, our teeth clashing from time to time but happily so as I pushed him back on his futon. “I love you too, you are my perfect, my safe haven, my home,” I punctuated everything by a kiss on his lips, his arms wrapped around my waist to keep me close.

“I will not let you go, no matter what happens next,” To emphasize my words, I wrapped my arms around his neck, it made him laugh as he rolled us around so that we were both on our side on the ground, looking at one another, “Neither will I, I will find you no matter what,” he pressed a soft kiss on my forehead, then stared at me lovingly.

I could feel my eyelids drooping, I was exhausted from today and crying did not help, “Kyo… I truly love you… But I also think you have put paint all over your futon,” I mumbled tiredly. He chuckled with the same tiredness and brought me closer to his chest, humming, “That is too bad, I am not moving,”

“Is it a problem for our future selves?” I asked playfully.

“Absolutely, it’s their mess, after all,” He mumbled, his lips against my hair.

With my final functional thought, I asked, “If you heard my words about selfishness… Would it mean you were not asleep?” I remembered mentioning it when brushing his hair and even though saying so was out of place, relief flooded over me when I had seen he had fallen asleep. If he had heard me, it meant he had not actually been sleeping.

“I don’t regret faking it, I was able to feel your sweet kiss, a shame I couldn’t return it,” He said tiredly, his words mumbled and inarticulate. It was enough for me to understand and lean in to press a lazy kiss on his lips, “It is never too late,” a breathless laugh escaped his lips as he returned it slowly, sleepily.

We then slowly fell asleep to one another’s reassuring heartbeats, basking in the serenity of today and not thinking of any tomorrows.

[Part 8]

[hauntedbythefanficsofmypast]

BatMom- Jason Todd

Masterlist

Part 1

Part 2[Here]

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Jason Todd, Her Toughest Bird.

Marinette paced the Batcave anger clear on her face as she waited for Batman to get back with his newest Robin. She couldn’t believe Batman would go this far, he knew damn well that wasn’t his name to give away. Her thoughts were interrupted by the Batmobile skidding into the cave and parking. Batman and the young boy getting out, the new Robin took one look at her before sizing her up with a glare.

“Who's the angry lady B?” He said looking ready for a fight, which amused Marinette slightly. But her gaze focused on Batman as she upped her glare.

“Hello B, we need to talk.” She said stiffly before looking down at the boy with a stern look. “Alone.” She said firmly gesturing to the changing rooms. Jason huffed, pulling off his mask walking passed her indignantly. Marinette wasted no time tearing into Bruce the moment the door was closed. 

An hour later Marinette walked through the halls of the manor a frown still on her face. She stopped outside an opened door looking in on the newly adopted Jason Todd-Wayne. “Kid,” She called out catching his attention. “want to go out for ice cream?” Jason scoffed, closing his book giving her a deadpan look.

“Ya great idea let me go out with a woman that obviously doesn’t like me.” He said sarcastically waving his hand at her in a go away gesture. “Why would I even want to go with you in the first place?” Marinette smirked leaning against the door.

“First off I don’t know you enough to not like you, my anger at B will not be dragged over to you. “Second off we are going to Pico’s Ice Cream Gotham’s world renown Ice Cream Parlor, over two hundred flavors, I intend for us to eat so much Alfred has to pick us up. Finally B is paying and after your stunt with his tires, something tells me you’d be more than happy to waste his money.” She held up her hand showing Bruce’s Amex Black card held between her index and middle fingers. “So are you in or not kid?” Jason smirked, placing his book down and jumping out of his chair.

“Oh I am so down! Let's go get sick to our stomachs with Bruce paying!”

An hour later Alfred had arrived at Pico’s giving both of them a disappointed glare as they climbed into the shortened limo he had brought. Marinette and Jason laid on the floor facing each other, curled in on themselves.

“Was it worth it Miss Marinette, Master Jason.”

“Definitely.”

“Hell yes.” 

The two groaned out their response together shortly followed by a yelp from Jason after she had flicked his nose.

“Watch your language.” She said causing him to grumble while Alfred simply sighed, closing the door. A few moments later they felt the limo begin to move. Marinette closed her eyes trying to calm her churning stomach, well aware of Jason’s eyes on her.

“Why were you so mad at Bruce?” He asked softly, wanting to know yet not at the same time. Marinette was silent for a moment before opening her eyes, meeting his own. 

“B gave away something that wasn’t his to give away. Dick hadn’t let go over the title just yet, and Bruce in his anger ripped it away from him and gave it to you instead. He really hurt Dickie, that’s why I was so angry at him. Not at you, you’re innocent in this Jason.” She said softly groaning when Alfred took a sharp turn, showing his displeasure with his two current charges. “My anger is all towards B right now.” Jason nodded thinking over what she had said before he had another question.

“Why do you call him B, why not just say Bruce?” Marinette was silent before looking away with a slight blush.

“B stands for bitch and he knows it.” She said causing Jason to grin at her.

“Language.”

“Shut it little birdie.”

———————————<3————————————

Jason Todd, The Night Joker took him.

She sat at the door curled up crying begging for forgiveness, and Jason-Jason couldn’t find it in himself to give it. This woman, this woman had caused this, Sheila Haywood was no saint. No she was far from it, and unfortunately she was his mother. She was the one that gave birth to him, and now she’d be the one to help kill him. A dark part of him was happy she’d go with him but he’d never admit that out loud. His thoughts strayed from his so called mother as he watched the timer slowly countdown. Instead he thought of the one woman in his life that always tried. That was always there for him, that always stood up for him, and helped him build a relationship with his predecessor. He thought of the terrible fight they had, though he knew that it was mostly on his part. He had gotten too hard headed and Marinette was always stubborn and unwilling to bend with things she believed in. His Marinette wanted to help him meet his mother, she did even though it hurt her slightly and he had known it. She had helped him unlike Bruce who refused after the fight they had had, she helped even though it hurt. Yet he persisted and pushed and pushed until they finally found the women. Jason had insisted that he left for Ethiopia right away, planning to go alone. Ever protective Marinette had refused, told him he would not go alone and that they would go together.  She said she’d have everything ready at the end of the month, but that was not soon enough for him. He snapped at her demanding that she stayed out of it. He declared it was a family matter, and ignored the hurt in her eyes. She had told him not to be hard headed and that she was coming along. Only to be silenced and told that she was not going, he was being so stupid, he let his temper get the best of him. He told her she wasn’t family, that she was nothing but the woman that chased after his adoptive Father. Trying to find any excuse to have his attention, he regretted it so much when he watched her close in on herself. Her blue eyes dulled so much they looked gray, her ever perfect posture faltered but he hadn’t cared. He turned and left her there all alone. Just like he was now, all alone wishing that his mom was there. Wishing that his Marinette, his Mom was hugging him and running her fingers through his red hair.

“Jay-bird.” 

That was it, that's mom’s voice.

“Jay-bird, I don’t know if you can hear me, Gods I hope you do.”

He could hear the shake in her voice as his eyes landed on what he thought was his broken communicator. 

She’s crying, she should never cry.

“Bruce is on his way my little Fire-Cracker.”

She said choking back a sob, Jason twitched in his bond moving closer towards the communicator. His body protested every move as he made his way.

“Dickie isn’t on Earth right now but I told Clark he better get his ass off planet and to him as soon as possible.”

Jason let out a pain chuckle at her swearing, she rarely did it and it always surprised him to hear. Foul language was his thing; it should’ve never fallen from his mom’s mouth. Especially for the fact that she disliked crude language.

“Jay?”

She heard him, she can hear him.

“I’m here.”

He said his voice horse as he shed a few tears.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I snapped at you, after everything you did, I hurt you so much. I’m so sorry Mom. I should’ve stayed, I should’ve listened, I’m so sorry. I just want to be with you. I want to be with you so bad mommy.”

He said desperate for the women to know, desperate for forgiveness from his mother.

“Jay, my sweet baby bird, it's okay. Oh baby, I love you so much my beautiful boy. You wanted to find your birth mother and I will never hold that against you. You have nothing to be sorry for, you hear me?”

Nine Seconds.

Jason’s eyes remain on the timer.

“Mommy, I love you. Thank you for everything.”

Eight Seconds.

“Don’t-”

Marinette’s voice cracked as she cried into her hands.

Seven Seconds.

“Please tell Dickie I love him and he was an amazing brother.”

Six Seconds.

“Don’t-Don’t say goodbye, this is goodbye Jason! You hear me! this isn’t goodbye.”

She finished her voice in a pained whisper.

Five Seconds.

“Tell Bruce he’s an asshole, but I loved him.”

Four Seconds.

“Tell Alfred I love him too.”

Jason was crying uncontrollably as he spoke.

Three Seconds.

“Mom?”

Two Seconds.

“Yes baby boy?”

One Second.

“Don’t blame yourself.”

Marinette stared at the casket, unable to console herself and stop the tears. Her baby boy was in there, her tough little bird. He was gone and she wasn’t there, she failed him. A mother is meant to protect, and she didn’t protect. She should’ve followed him to Ethiopia, she shouldn’t have let her feeling of hurt get the best of her. A sob fell from her lips as her shoulders shooking, her posture breaking as she curled in on herself. Her baby bird will never fly again, he will never read her poetry or discuss his favorite books with her again. No, now she’d have to visit him here, for the rest of her life. Now she’d have to talk to a gravestone every time she saw her baby bird.

———————————<3————————————

Jason Todd, Red Hood Finds her.

He watched her for weeks ever since he had officially come back to Gotham. Watching her as Ladybug, Lady Noir, and Marinette, watching the woman he had called mother. The mother that had seemingly moved on from him, along with his so called Father and brother. He saw her spend countless nights with his replacement, she had never gone on patrol with him as much as she did with the new one. She, of course, didn’t realize she was being watched. Old age he supposed his once mother looked much older since the last time he saw her, before he died. Black hair now greying and everything so perhaps he could not fault her for not noticing.

This night was special though, for weeks she had been fighting him with the so-called Batfamily. Tonight, exactly three days after he shot the replacement, she would find out that he was her ‘Baby-bird’.

He watched as she picked up the phone, no doubt Bruce or Alfred, his amusement faded when tears began to fall. He always hated when she cried, she was always so happy and collected. She rarely cried and when she did it was so heart wrenching, because Marinette cried with her entire body. He watched as she dropped the phone and rushed to the balcony, he saw the small red and black Gods following her. Heard her voice crying out as she threw the doors open.

“Plagg, Claws out!” 

She transformed and was traveling across the rooftops in minutes. She was making her way towards Bludhaven only to be met halfway by Nightwing. Immediately breaking down into her eldests arms.

“It's him, it's him, it's him. It's my babybird! It’s my baby! It's my baby!” 

Her cries caused Red Hood to flinch as he turned his gaze away from the mourning mother. He took one last glance before turning away returning to his current safe house.

———————————<3————————————

Jason Todd, Saving him from Himself.

“Don’t do this.” Her voice called out, it was calm as always yet filled with pain. She limped toward him holding her side tenderly in an attempt to stop the bleeding from her wound. “Don’t do this Baby boy.” Red Hood growled leveling the gun on her as he turned away from the downed third Robin. He froze the moment he saw Marinette, not Lady Noir, not Ladybug, but Marinette, his Marinette. Beaten, Bloody, and Bruised, all caused by him and his men. She didn’t even flinch at the gun pointed at her even though it was clear that her injury was a bullet wound.

“Shut up you fucking liar.” He growled out red tinting his vision once again as he thought of her protecting his replacement. Thought of all the videos of her with little Tim Drake, the newest Robin, all the pictures of her at school events. The actual adoption of not just him, but of her perfect first son. That one had hurt him the most, she had adopted them but not him.

“I am a liar.” She admitted softly continuing towards her son. Looking up at the young man, but always her babybird. “I am. I promised you that I’d always be with you, that I’d protect you. I failed you and I have blamed myself every day. I should’ve followed you, I should’ve found you, I should’ve protected you. But I failed you instead.” She stopped with the gun barely an inch away from her forehead, and for a second she marveled at how tall her baby was now compared to her. She wished she could see his face, see how handsome her beautiful boy had turned out. While Dick had grown into a beautiful young man, she knew her tough little bird would grow into a very handsome man. “You have every right to be angry with me, but not him. He looked up to you, still does, he pulled Bruce, Dick, and me out of the dark place we were in after your death. Not once did he wish to replace you, not once did he shy away from mentioning you. If you want to take your anger out on somebody, make it me.” She closed her blue bell eyes picturing her little red headed bird with his mischievous smile, and love for literature. Marinette leaned her head forehead allowing the barrel of his gun to press against her head. Her free hand shook as she reached out, caressing the red helmet with her knuckles. She opened her eyes again, tears staining to fall from the now dulled grayish blue. “Just remember I love you my little Fire-Cracker, though you’re not exactly little anymore are you.” She choked out holding back a sob as she let her hand drop her legs shaking from exhaustion. “If you’re going to kill us then take me first. Please I don’t think I can bear to watch another one of my birds die.” She barely finished before exhaustion caught up to her and she began to collapse. She didn’t hit the ground though, no she was pulled into strong arms. Arms that held her tightly cradling her and providing safety. Red Hood stared down at the woman in his arms, the red having long faded as tears fell hidden by the helmet. Jason Todd-Wayne held his hurt mother in his arms as he let himself cry.

“Stupid woman, Stupid Mom.” He whispered before moving her so that she laid beside her newest bird. “Don’t say a word you fucking replacment.” He growled out as said bird looked up at him in surprise. “You better fucking protect her or else I will kill you.” He growled glaring at the small shy smirk on the bird’s face.

“Watch your language, you know her thoughts on cussing.”

———————————<3————————————

Jason Todd, Bruce’s Death.

Jason Todd-Wayne sat atop Wayne Enterprises staring down at the city he was born into. Bruce was gone, he was gone and Jason didn’t know what to think of it. Dick was taking up the cowl, making Bruce’s actual son his new Robin. Tim had taken over Wayne Enterprises, the youngest CEO in the world. Meanwhile here was Jason still legally dead, and estranged from the family. With no idea what to do with his life, he had slowly waned from killing doing the same with her men. They very rarely killed, only those that truly deserved it, but ever since that night since he cradled his mother’s broken form. He hasn’t seen the family, he only knew of Bruce’s death from the video he had sent to the family. He tensed as a body sat down beside him, curling into her jacket. 

“Hello Handsome Birdie.” She said softly reaching up and caressing his cheek. “I’ve missed you.” Jason grabbed her hand holding it gently and rubbing the back of her hand with his thumb.

“I’ve missed you too Mom.” He admitted softly both turning to look out at the city in silence together. “Is he really gone?” He asked, not really wanting to know the answer. Marinette leaned against her son allowing her eyes to drift to their held hands.

“Tim-Tim says he might not be and is trying to find him. Dick, my poor bird is hurting so much he is scared to hope that Bruce isn’t dead. Then there is Damian, oh he is going to be a tough Birdie to crack.” Jason smiled softly squeezing her hand.

“Well you managed to raise me, you'll have no problem with him.” He said jokingly, causing Marinette to laugh shaking her head.

“You didn't call me ‘Father’s newest whore’ and then immediately attempt to kill me.”

“He did want?!” 

Jason asked with a protective glare on his face as he turned to his mom.

“Oh hush Fire-Cracker, I’ll get through to him.”

———————————<3————————————

Jason Todd, The Outlaws.

Red Hood could feel her eyes on him and his two companions. The fact that they didn’t notice was both irritating yet caused a bit of pride to fill his chest for only his mom could hide so easily.

“Kori, Roy,” He called out, pulling his helmet off his mask soon following revealing Jason Todd-Wayne to the night sky. “We have a visitor.” He said, turning to look at the shadows where Lady Noir resided.

“Getting better every day aren’t you Jay-bird?” She finally announced her presence to her son’s friends. She knew the both of them Roy better than Kori, it had been Dick that introduced them. Before the split in their friendships, she hated having to comfort her bird of the loss of his older brother. Lady Noir wouldn’t let her hold it against him though, or hold it against Kori.

“Hello mom” Jason said affectionately as he walked over to Lady Noir. She smiled, dropping her transformation and allowing her son to pull her into a tight hug. Marinette reached up rubbing his cheek with her thumb. “Come to make sure, I’m not getting into too much trouble?” He asked, teasingly causing her to roll her eyes.

“No, I simply wanted to see how my son’s new team worked together. “ She combed his hair to the side gently with her fingers before grabbing his gloved hand in hers. “My birds rarely team up with others outside the family.” Jason glanced away a little nervous squeezing her hand gently.

“Well, what do you think? Of my small team here?” Marinette smiled softly glancing back at the two that had joined her son, before looking back to her son.

“I think you have found some very good friends Fire-Craker. They will care for you as you care for them.” She leaned up on her tiptoes, huffing slightly when Jason still had to lean down for her, and kissed her son’s cheek. “Be good to them and you shall have a strong team.” keep them safe. They will do the same for you, now run along my tough little bird.”

“I’m not little anymore.”

“Hush.”

“Yes Mom.”

———————————<3————————————

Jason Todd, Returning to the Family.

Jason stuck his hand firmly in his pockets as he stared up at the manor. Marinette and Dick had both told him he should come for the holidays. If it had been just Duck he would have blown it off, but he’d hurt his mom too much in the past to do it to her. He didn’t want to go in, his relationship with Bruce was still incredibly rocky, and he really didn’t like the Demon brat. Though somehow his mom and older brother had both become rather fond of the brat. He shook his head and squared his shoulders walking towards the door, only to turn around and take the steps back down the stairs.

“I can’t do this.” He growled out kicking the snow glaring at it frustrated. “How can this be so hard! Just walk through the damn door, say hello to Alfred hand over your coat and then immediately find mom. Give her the stupid gift, then sneak out when the others distract her.” He said to himself, but he didn’t turn around he just continued to glare at the ground, his hands shaking slightly in his jacket pockets.

“Or, just putting this out there, you could turn around, walk through the door with me and spend Christmas with your family. A family which has been nervous to see if you’ll actually come tonight.” Marinette called out from her place on the steps behind him. Her cardigan wrapped tightly around her to chase away the cold. Jason turned slightly looking at her sheepishly until he realized she didn’t have a jacket on. “Personally I prefer my idea, way better than you sneaking away from us.” Jason glared slightly walking up to her as he unzipped his jacket.

“What are you doing out here with only a cardigan? I seem to remember you always complaining that I’d get sick if I didn’t wear a jacket!” He pulled his off wrapping it around Marinette holding back a snort over it reaching her knees. Marinette glared slightly as if knowing his thought process and turned up her nose indignantly huffing. “You’ll catch your death out here without a jacket Jason! Jason don’t forget your hat! Jason gloves are not uncool they make sure your fingers don’t get frostbite!” Jason said repeating all the phrases she had used on him when he was just twelve. Marinette reached out pinching his ear slightly causing him to wince, and pout at her, though he’d never admit it.

“I am your mother, young man. I have every right to make sure you wear proper attire for winter. And apparently I should have said it more as it appears, the only thing you were wearing is your jacket.” Jason rubbed his ear after she let go grumbling to himself about annoying mothers.

“Why did you come out here? How did you know I was here?” He finally asked before wrapping his arm around her shoulders walking her towards the door. He knew his mother never did good in the cold, a side effect of being the Champion of a Ladybug Goddess. Marinette huffed, shaking her head, giving him a pointed look.

“Timmy and I sat watching you stand outside for five minutes before he suggested I came and got you.” She smiled as Alfred opened the door for them. “That and Alfred had been standing at the door for a good ten minutes and I decided that ten minutes was enough.” Jason smiled apologetically at Alfred, hugging the elderly butler.

“Hi Alfred, I missed you.” He said softly, smiling brighter when the man hugged him back.

“And I you Master Jason, now come join the family. I shall take your coat from Mistress Marinette.”

Jason raised an eyebrow looking over at his mom who shook her head fondly.

“He insists that Bruce is going to marry me one day. It’s the only bit of denial I’ve seen him in, I shan’t mention it to him however.” She said with a mischievous smile, winging at her son. “Besides Bruce’s face when he brings it up is hilarious. Now come the boys are eager to see you.” She corrected herself after Jason’s pointed look. “Fine Tim and Dick are excited to see you. Damian doesn’t want to share me and Bruce can’t emotion so he hasn’t said it but he is thinking it.”

———————————<3————————————

Jason Todd, Alive Again.

Jason paced his room in the manor mumbling to himself while Kori and Roy sat on his bed watching him. Today was the day, he had agreed to announce that he had survived the explosion all those years ago. They had even come up with a rather ingenious cover story on where he had been. Though that was most his replacement, the kid was wicked smart.

“I can’t do this.” He said turning to Kori and Roy with a pleading look, as he gripped his hair with his hands. “Kori, get me out of here, please.” He said softly though they could both hear the panic in his tone. Kori chuckled standing up and walking over to him. She gently pried his hands from his hair gesturing for Roy to grab the hair brush. 

“X’Hal, Jason, you are overthinking this, and panicking. You can do this, I know it for you are not weak. You know you want to do this, doing this means spending more time with them.Yes, yes that’s not why you are doing this.” She said rolling her eyes when he opened his mouth to argue. She took the hair brush Roy held out with a bright smile. “Jason, this is a most joyess occasion! After today you can spend more time with your K’norfka, and Roy and I know you want to go places with her more than anything.” Jason huffed letting her brush out his hair hold his face as she tilted his head side to side.

“She is not my nanny Kori, she’s my mother.” Kori pinned him with a look as she squeezed his cheeks gently leaning forward.

“On my planet K’norfka, also means guardian. Of which she is, correct?” Jason huffed before nodding his head.

“Yes, yes, you are correct.” Kori smirked triumphantly before kissing him briefly and releasing his face. “Roy and I will be here waiting for you when you are done. Isn’t that right?” Roy nodded, wrapping an arm around her waist, smirking at his boyfriend and girlfriend.

“Oh we will be here, but I don’t know. From the look on Miss Marinette’s face we won’t see you for a while.” Roy said nodding to the door, where Marinette stood watching them. She slowly made her way over to the trio.

“Mom! I can, I can explain. Roy, Star, and I-were-uh-were really good friends-well no we are actually-well.” He was silenced by Marinette’s hand on his cheek, causing him to finally meet her eyes. Understanding and love shining brightly in her eyes, as she rubbed his cheek with her thumb, marveling at her tough little bird all grown up.

“You couldn’t have picked anyone better Jay-bird. They have proved themselves remarkably well, and have shown their love for you my sweet bird. And that’s all that a mother can ask for in life, that their baby is happy and loved.” Jason teared up as he leaned down wrapping his mom into a tight hug hiding his face in her shoulder, causing the women to giggle. Marinette softly stroked his hair resting her cheek against his head. She looked over to the two her son had chosen her smile not wavering but Roy and Kori could read her eyes. Happiness, acceptance, and a little bit of love shining in them as she silently thanked her son’s precious people.

“Now, let’s go. It’s time for Jason Todd-Wayne to enter the world again. This time though I’ll finally get to adopt you.”

———————————<3————————————

Jason Todd, A Prince Consort?

Jason stared at himself in the mirror tugging on the traditional Tamaranean clothing. He still couldn’t believe this was happening, Kori wasn’t even the Queen anymore. Yet her, Roy, and him had all been carted away to her home planet by her brother. News had spread far of her proposal to the two, and her home planet wanted to witness the marriage. Only two months after they became engaged they were getting married, and his family wasn’t even there.

“Lost in thought, Birdie.” 

“Just thinking about how my mom is going to kill me-Mom?!” He turned quickly looking at his mother, dressed in a lavender purple dress, obviously of her own design, that held elements of the Tamaranean attire.

“Surprise.” She said softly with a twinkle in her eye as she walked over. “Oh look at you, my tough little bird is getting married.” She smoothed out his clothing, a tearful smile on her face. “Koriand’r had a feeling her brother would insist on this. So she made sure that the family would also be picked up, she also gave me a few different items of Tamaranean clothing, so that I could make my own clothing.” Jason smiled at the mention of his soon to be wife.

“She is amazing, her and Roy.” He whispered softly, a smile taking over his face. Marinette watched him as a single happy year fell from her face.

“Gosh, first Dickie and now you. Now I just need to have Timmy and Dami find someone that loves them unconditionally. Then I could die happily knowing my sons are loved.” 

“Don’t joke about that mom, you won’t be dying for a very long time.” Jason said, grabbing her hand and squeezing it. “Besides demon brat find someone, please.” 

“Jason.” Marinette said with a warning note in her tone causing Jason to grin at her. Tikki coughed, finally gaining their attention.

“Oh not again. Tikki stop out shining me will you!”

Marinette said smiling playfully at her dear friend. Tikki smiled a twinkle in her eye as she shook her head.

“No I don’t think I will Mari!” She flew up kissing Jason on the forehead just like she had done a year ago for her bug’s first bird. “I grant you and your mates Good luck and Fortune in your future together. Cherish each other always, I am proud of you, even if you’re a troublesome bird.” Marinette smiled softly looking up at her second son, her tough bird, her Fire-Craker.

“I am proud of you too Jason. You’ve grown into such a handsome young man, and have found yourself the loves of your life. That’s all a mother can ask for in life.”

“How much are my brothers going to tease me over being a Prince Consort.”

“Oh so much, that we’re thinking of jokes on the way here. A little scary watching Timmy and Dami work together, but you know Dickie, he can bring anyone together.”

Jason snorted rolling his eyes, Plagg chose this moment to show himself grinning at Jason.

“So, you’re gonna be a Trophy Husband now kid?”

“Plagg!”

“Ow! Oh come on Sugar-cube! Ow!-It was a joke!”

@mythogaychic

[ushidoux]

Look at Me, Senpai - Hinata x Reader x Daichi (Pt. 2)

Summary: Reader starts to see Hinata in a different light once he returns from Brazil. It turns out Hinata’s inability to give up isn’t just something restricted to the court. (~1.9k words)

Warnings: fem!reader, nsfw, infidelity, a touch of the yandere

A/N: Man even my evil heart was a little bothered by this lmfao. Turns out it needs another part, so expect that sometime this week?

Part 1|| Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4 || Part 5

---

“You can stay if you’d like to.”

You paused for a split second in the middle of redressing yourself, your gaze settling on Hinata’s impressive body, now glowing with the thinnest layer of sweat and perched on the edge of the bed, maybe a little bit too eagerly. While his voice remained steady and neutral, his eyes showed just a hint of pleading, the sentiment also threaded in the way his knuckles whitened as he steadied himself in place. He appeared as though he were holding himself back from saying more or doing more. 

For a moment you were almost angry - in fact, furious that he would suggest that you’d stay over on the very first night, almost like he thought he was somebody important to you, like you weren’t simply taking out some sort of repressed frustration out on him.

However, the extremely recent memory of being folded and pressed into the plush hotel mattress, legs dangled over his shoulders, fingers tangled in his wild hair, filled so wide and so deep that you knew you’d probably think about it for the rest of your life if all of this somehow miraculously blew over, flashed in your mind and your irritation was replaced with another wave of guilt. 

No wonder he spoke with this sort of unchecked boldness. You had allowed it. He probably could smell the lust on you from the very moment he lay eyes on you at the restaurant.

You left the hotel without another word, but when he sent you a message to see if you had gotten back okay, you begrudgingly accepted that you would see him again. You couldn’t help it.

And so you continued to meet, with the securing of your engagement ring in a tiny pocket in your purse a new routine before you entered Hinata’s warm embrace for a couple of hours many more nights than not. Hinata, as usual, was all too happy to receive you, his brown eyes lighting up the night. In the dark, whenever he closed his eyes and let himself focus on your staccato breaths as he pulsed inside you, you were his and his only.

Soon your encounters progressed beyond you ending up crumpled up in an overstimulated mess to candid conversations over earnestly made and surprisingly decent meals. Hinata was a very good listener and hung on every word you said, making you realize how little you expressed yourself in the daytime.

Even creating art was different when he was around. You started to bring your sketchbook with you when you visited now that you didn’t solely leave under the cover of night, doodling quietly in the setting sun that matched the locks of his hair as you sat on his couch. The first time you’d decided to do something other than fuck for hours, he’d asked you what you did for a living. 

“I, uh, draw.”

The shout of genuine awe Shoyo let out was almost overwhelmingly embarrassing.

“What??? You get to do that all day?! Incredible! Do you paint too? What do you draw? Still life? Scenes? Can you draw me?” As Shoyo asked these questions, he only inched closer and closer to the couch, crowding your space and while you still retreated from him naturally, you could feel your heart drawing closer.

It had been literal years since someone was excited about what you produced, and while Daichi appreciated your creations around the house, you could tell he thought of them nothing more than decoration, not expressions of your soul.

Everything you make is beautiful, was your fiance’s compliment of choice but what you would have preferred to hear was Everything you make is meaningful.

But you were Daichi’s little housewife, not an artist.

Like his little pet, Daichi continued to kiss you on the forehead before the crack of dawn before he went off to work and drape a protective arm over you late into the night once he returned, and you continued to pretend you never ever took off your engagement ring and work through wedding planning as though you weren’t making a mockery of your wedding vows night after night.

The ninth - or maybe eleventh time (?), you’d lost count - you met with Hinata, you asked him a bold question of your own.

“S-Shoyo..,” you started, trying your very best to ignore the winding coil in your belly as you tried to talk past Hinata’s deft fingers pumping in and out of your quivering cunt. 

“Mm?” His eyes were on you but his fingers continued to move, making it hard for you to remember how to formulate what you wanted to say, and it didn’t help that his other arm hooked around your waist pressed you against him just a little too firmly as usual.

“Why-,” your breath halted as he found the correct spot and you closed your eyes and bit your lip, but you pushed through the pleasure to speak, “why did, or.. why do you like me?”

“I don’t know.” His answer was both shocking and unsurprisingly candid. “I don’t think it matters, though.”

The glint in his eyes and the wide grin as he took in your varied expressions of pleasure reminded you that it truly didn’t matter why, and especially not for someone like him.

“Stay still for me, ____,” he whispered, diverting the subject, as he kissed your mouth softly to put your questions to rest then planted kisses in a trail down your belly to your lower lips.

---

A few months pass and your wedding preparations slow almost to a halt.

You don’t admit to yourself that it’s because you know now that you are falling out of love with Daichi and you ignore the fact that Hinata continues to permeate your mind almost all the time. You can’t exactly say that you’re in love with him because you aren’t. After all, you have enough self-awareness to understand what it means to be in love with the idea of someone new and to be seen as somebody different. 

When Hinata lets you know he’ll now be traveling for matches, he kisses your forehead, caresses your face and assures you he’ll be back soon to see you. He sends sweet texts and pictures as if he really is your boyfriend, and it’s sick how quickly you react to your phone every time it buzzes or how you now wake up as early as Daichi to walk around your neighborhood as the sun rises just so you can hear Hinata’s voice on the phone.

You’re not in love with him though. You could never fall that quickly.

As you start a pot of coffee before putting on your running shoes, Daichi cups your face in his hands and presses his lips to yours, pulling back to look at you with adoration.

“What could I do without you?” He says before he goes. Your heart wrenches.

Your frustration mounts when you find yourself recreating Hinata’s features on paper and considering the complements of colors that would best convey his spirit. You tear out the sketch, crumpling up the paper in a ball before you toss it across the room and now you are crying because what the fuck are you actually doing?

Were you really this fickle?

You were - when your front door knocks in the early evening and it’s Hinata, not Daichi at your doorstep (because of course he wouldn’t knock to enter his own home), your first impulse is to hiss Whythefuckareyouhereareyouaninsanepersonleaveimmediately but when he says he missed you, you instead find yourself melting into strong, anxious arms.

And you forget that Daichi sometimes comes home before 7pm when Hinata hoists you up so that your legs wrap around his waist. You forget that this is your and Daichi’s living space while you are entirely consumed in Hinata’s kiss. You forget that the dining room is a place where you and your fiancé share meals together when Hinata bends you over the oak table, drags down your pants and panties so quickly you hear them tear, and enters you impatiently at full length and girth. He lets out a sigh as he settles inside you, and as you feel his cock pulsate within you, you forget the fact that Hinata is now pounding into you with reckless abandon like a cheap whore and that the legs of the table are slowly scraping along your wood floors, threatening to leave marks.

You can’t come up with the last movie you watched on the living room couch with Daichi when Hinata is laid across it, his face contorted in pleasure as your head bobs up and down his saliva coated shaft.

When Hinata is fucking you against the wall just beside your bedroom door, you’re unable to think about what it would mean for Daichi to find you and Hinata marking up every part of your home with your infidelity. All you can hear are his soft grunts with every upward thrust and all you focus on is the way you are filled so completely by him, how warm you feel and how it feels to hold on to him for dear life.

“You feel so, so good, ___,” Hinata whispers as his forehead presses to the hard surface behind you and he pushes even deeper, forcing another moan out of you that intensifies when he bites down on the soft flesh of your shoulder.

“S-Shoyo…”

“P-please be mine,” he suddenly begs, and you’re horrified, but at that very moment your coil snaps and your entire body clenches around him, your arms, legs, the walls of your vagina, your fingers, your desires… and then he comes as well and you can feel him with every jet that coats your insides.

You’re limp in his arms and he leans further in to keep you even steadier against the wall so that you don’t slip out of his grasp. His face is sweaty and sticky and he’s no longer smiling. His eyes are dark and desperate and you truly don’t understand why he wants you so badly but you know he won’t tell you because really does it matter?

Your heart all but stops.

This is wrong and evil and all types of awful but his eyes…

“Please, ___?”

Your mouth falters. Your breathing is heavy and even though there’s a haze clouding your thoughts, you still have enough panic to cut through the dizziness of it all as your heart now thumps rapidly in your chest, fueled by the adrenaline running through your veins.

What could you even promise him? You didn’t have time to take your ring off this time, and you weren’t completely sure you wanted to. It would mean a sort of defeat, that you really were this type of woman who played with others’ feelings to fill her own emptying heart.

You could feel Hinata growing soft inside you and him inching even closer to you as though he couldn’t bear to feel your body rejecting his.

You were still at a loss for words, and your eyes finally flitted over to the front door and maybe for a split second, you actually hoped Daichi would see you and make the decision, any decision for you. Anything that would end this nightmare of watching Hinata’s façade start to crumble before you.

“Dammit, ____.” Hinata’s voice suddenly breaks, and he pulls back to you and you steadily find yourself standing alone on your own two feet and look at him to see those eyes shining bright with tears.

He knows what you’re going to say before you say it, and you don’t want to break his heart, but you have anyway.

“Shoyo, I’m getting married.”

[baticorngirl]

Title: “Dad, you’re embarrassing me!’

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Relationship(s): Talia Al Ghul/Bruce Wayne (Brutalia), Talia Al Ghul & Ra’s Al Ghul, Bruce Wayne & Ra’s Al Ghul, Dusan Al Ghul & Ra’s Al Ghul, Nyssa Raatko & Ra’s Al Ghul, Talia Al Ghul & Dusan Al Ghul,

Characters: Talia Al Ghul, Bruce Wayne, Ra’s Al Ghul, Nyssa Raatko, Dusan Al Ghul,

Summary: Bruce Wayne, an average (other than his parent's death) billionaire, was nervous. Very, very, nervous. It was a simple task, really, but meeting his girlfriend's family seemed rather intimidating at the moment. She has mentioned her father being strict or whatnot many times, and it had gotten many worries to arrive in his mind.

Unfortunately, Bruce had every right to be worried.

A/N: I don't own the characters, DC does.

This fic was originally made (or at least started) for @brutalia-week​ Day 4: Family. Since I wasn't able to finished it in time, I tried to make it a "day 8" kind of thing.... although I'm a teeny bit late for that, too, lol. It was originally just supposed to be a short humor fanfic, but... let's just say it got out of hand. Fair warning that some of the characters may be a teeny bit OOC (nothing too bad, though) because of humor or just plot-convenience.

For context, this takes place in an alternate universe where Bruce doesn't become Batman, but that's the only big difference. Anyway, enjoy!

Related Links: Read it on FF.Net (x), Read it on Ao3(x),

Day 1(x), Day 2(x), Day 3(x), Day 5(x), Day 6(x), Day 7(x),

______________________________________________________

Bruce was uncomfortable. His tie felt itchy, and hot, like a fever that somehow didn't spread to his forehead. In fact, his whole body felt hot, and the tiniest bit shaky. Bruce's stomach twisted up in a knot, making his face turn visibly red with discomfort. His breathing was a bit quicker and shorter than normal. He was nervous. Very, very, nervous. But considering the situation, he had every right to be.

Talia and him had been dating for quite a while now. Over 6 months, actually. They met up when they could, and every time they went on a date, they started enjoying each other's company more, and more, and more. Talia often had things she needed to do, though, and they would often come up out of what seemed to be nowhere. She'd always say she just had an assignment from work of some kind, but it often occurred to Bruce that she never mentioned what she did as a profession.

Perhaps, today would be the day he found out. Now that their relationship was feeling more serious, Talia had finally decided she would introduce her boyfriend to her parents, and the rest of her family. It had taken some convincing for her to do it, but her father had been adamant that meeting and evaluating any of her potential husbands was necessary.

"What if they're not worthy?" He had insisted, pacing back and forth in urgency. "What if they plan to spy on you, or hurt you, or are simply a failure? Besides, my Dear Daughter, what's the issue with him meeting us? Please, tell me you're not seriously acting embarrassed of your own family at this age." Ra's stopped to look at her, a disappointed look on his face.

"I-" Talia hadn't wanted to upset him, or even worse, make her view her as immature. She sighed, "Fine, but please…. try to stay calm with him. Be understanding if he's not quite up to your qualifications of worthy, and…. Just try not to kill him, okay? You can be very overwhelming, and although he's a very nice man, he's not used to murderers." She had tried to put it lightly, but truthfully, she wanted to yell the list of commands in his face. It was ridiculous -absolute ludicrous- that she had to tell him such simple things.

"Of course, Daughter. Whatever makes you most comfortable." Ra's smiled at her, and leaned in to kiss the top of her head affectionately. Yet again, she was reminded by why she had spared his feelings, but quickly forgot it as he spoke again. "But you can't truly expect me to hide my whole personality, can you? I'll try to make sure there's minimal stabbing at the family dinner that night, but you can only expect so much of me."

Talia had stared at him, with her eyes squinted with concern, but she pushed a smile on her face regardless. "J- Just do your best, Father. Thank you." The minute she had gotten out of the room, though, her smile immediately dropped. She let out a huge, tired, sigh. She loved her family, but sometimes she just wished they could hold their murderous instincts in for a moment.

Now, as her and Bruce inched towards the door, Talia felt that wish more than she ever had before. Even if Bruce was nervous, thinking of the times Talia had mentioned her Father being strict, controlling, and painfully traditional, he was nothing compared to Talia. She flinched every few moments. Her every instinct told her to lead Bruce away, to come up with an excuse, but it was too late now. She gulped. Maybe, if she had the best luck in the world, her father would only talk about his Endangered-Species-Saving Programs, and not his Murder-Most-Humans program.

But when Bruce looked down at her, he felt a sense of excitement. He surely hadn't heard the best things from Talia about her family, but if they have raised someone as wonderful as Talia, he was sure they couldn't be too bad. He knew they may not have the most similarities, but wasn't caring about Talia the most important similarity of all?

Despite his slight optimism, inside the Al Ghul house, not everyone was on their best behavior. Screams echoed through the dining room as everyone got settled down. Nyssa and Ra's, specifically, were the ones having the heated argument. Heated arguments were not uncommon for them, so much that no one had any clue why she was even invited to the family dinners. She didn't even consider herself part of that family, but Ra's was convinced that it was such a special moment, no one could miss it. His little girl has her first boyfriend! Inevitably, he lived to regret this decision.

"You're a dirty excuse for a father, Ra's! You left me to fend for myself when I needed you most!" Nyssa yelled, standing up from her chair. Her breath was heavy with rage. "You should be ashamed of yourself!" She quickly picked up her fork, throwing it as hard as she could in Ra's' face.

"No, you should be ashamed of yourself! You're the one that betrayed me, before I had done a thing to you!" Ra's screamed back, throwing the fork aside. Fortunately for Ra's, the fork hadn't done any damage. He quickly pulled himself out of his seat to balance the dominance in their positions. "Everything that happened was your own fault, so stop pushing the blame on to me just because I blatantly decided you weren't worth saving from torture!" Unaware of how bad that sounded, he picked up the fork again and threw it back at her.

They continued throwing things at each other, screaming endlessly. The danger of the things thrown escalated as they went. At first it was simply things like forks and spoons, things that wouldn't do too much damage. But it started getting worse, and worse…..

Outside, at least Bruce was getting some kind of a warning. Talia stopped him just before he opened the door, turning him to face her. She stared at him, a glint of dead seriousness in her eyes.

"Beloved, you are not ready to meet my family. You never will be. They're a lot to deal with." She warned. Talia's hands gripped his shoulders even harder than a villain does when threatening a hero. "Every single one of my family members is weird. Very, very weird. A bit absurd, even. Albeit a nice guy, you're also only a simple billionaire, so it's definitely going to get on your nerves. They even get on my nerves, they-"

Bruce gently tugged her arms off of her, "Talia, I can handle it. I'm not a judgemental guy, I swear. It's fine if they're a little weird." His face rested in a blank, -but more importantly, not a horrified or angry- expression. "Come on, let's go inside. They're probably waiting for us." He pointed towards the door, beginning to open it. Talia, still frazzled, immediately swung her arms over to stop him from opening it.

"Please, Beloved, you don't understand! It's not a difference in culture, tastes, or even opinions! I swear on my life… they're crazy." She stared into his eyes. Her pupils were huge, and her hands were shaky as she held him back. "I don't care if you don't believe me, but just… promise you won't blame me for them?" Talia looked down desperately. Her words slowed for a moment.

"Of course," Bruce nodded, but before she could even communicate her gratitude, he abruptly swung the door open. "I've told you a million times, though, I'm sure I won't even be blaming them! You're worr-" The second he took his eyes off of Talia, and on to the room in front of them, his mouth dropped. Every word he said about it being fine was regretted almost immediately. It was so very, very, not fine.

Bruce had looked just quick enough to see Nyssa cross a final line with the throwing… a full, sharp, assassin knife. It shot directly into, and right through, Ra's' guts. Blood dripped down his stomach area and onto his shirt and cape. Ra's looked down at the injury for a moment, before quickly realizing that Talia and her boyfriend had officially arrived.

"Look what you've done now, Nyssa!" Ra's scolded, pointing to Bruce angrily. "Our guest has arrived, and you've done this right in front of him! Look at him, so startled at your audacity to stab me that he can't seem to speak…. Congratulations, you've embarrassed the whole family!" Bruce couldn't seem to listen to Ra's, with his eyes stuck on his stomach. Blood kept spilling out of it, yet Ra's hardly seemed to mind.

"...Are you okay?" Bruce took a slow, hesitant step towards the dinner table. His eyes were as wide as he thought they could go. "Shouldn't someone call an ambulance? You're bleeding out!" With the pure shock of it all starting to fade, he whipped out his phone and started navigating to the dialer.

Now dripping even more blood on the ground, Ra's pranced over to the front door to greet Bruce. "No, no, no! Don't mind my other daughter's ill manors. She's never well-behaved anymore, I'm afraid. But you're the guest, you shouldn't worry about this. Just sit down and relax." He led Bruce over to his seat, nudging him to sit down onto it. Ra's turned his stomach away from the chair to be sure he didn't get any little drops of blood on it. As he made his way back to his own seat, he gestured towards his stab wound. "If you'll excuse me, I'm going to have to get changed and cleaned up. I'm afraid this stab wound has created quite a mess."

Still recovering from the shock of the stabbing, Bruce attempted to reason with him, "But don't you need to get medica-" Before he could even finish his sentence, though, Ra's was already out of the room and down the hallway. As hard as Ra's had tried to keep the floor from too much damage, there were still drips of blood every few feet. Bruce considered following them to make sure he was okay, but quickly realized that with all the servants here, at least one person would help.

Talia sat down next to him, surprisingly unstartled by her own father's stabbing, "Try not to worry too much about it, Beloved. This happens a lot -sometimes even ending in the opposite- and as you can see, it has never resulted in his -or even Nyssa's- death. Oh, and don't worry for your own life, the stabbing is very personal. I doubt Nyssa thinks you have enough of a connection with him to be worth hurting." She explained matter-of-factly. Her hand gently reached over to pat his hand, in an attempt to sooth him.

"Okay… I just, I don't want you to lose him. I don't want you to feel the same pain of losing your parents as I did…" His voice quivered at the thought of his own parent's tragic murder. Talia nodded, understanding his pain, but in no way attempting to agree with him.

"As I've said before, don't worry. I'm afraid my mother already died when I was a child, and her death frightened me, but him? No, no, no, he's quite the survivor. He's survived so many ridiculous situations, in fact, I believe he's practically immortal!" She exclaimed the strong statement, seeming a bit excited, but not quite cheerful. Seeing the statement as a casual joke, Bruce laughed nervously. Talia did not laugh with him, though. To his discomfort, she stared at him, just as dead-serious as she was with her original warning.

The sound of her father's pattering footsteps knocked them both out of their odd conversation. Ra's entered the room, his blood now nowhere in sight. Despite how formal the arrangement was supposed to be, he was shirtless. A new shirt, looking very similar to the one he was wearing when Bruce arrived, was tucked under his arm.

As Ra's started pulling the shirt on, Bruce noticed something. The place where the stab wound had been just a moment ago was perfectly visible, with no clothes covering it, and yet it just… wasn't there anymore. Certainly no blood, but not even any bandages, or any kind of scar! The only thing in the victim's gut area was skin. Pure, undamaged, skin. Talia's family was starting to seriously freak Bruce out.

Once Ra's had gotten his upper-half dressed, he promptly began making his more formal greeting to Bruce, "I'm afraid, with all that chaos, I never got the chance to introduce myself! I'm Ra's Al Ghul, Talia's father. You can call me Ra's…. At least as long as I haven't found you unworthy of casual nicknames." He narrowed his eyes, scaring away any joy in Bruce for the moment. "...And you are…? I'm afraid I don't think Talia's mentioned your name."

"I'm Bruce… um, Bruce Wayne." Bruce stuttered, trying to shake away the strong sense of uncomfort Ra's was starting to give him. Ra's smiled politely, and shook his hand.

"Welcome to our home, Bruce… Or Mr. Wayne, whatever you prefer to be called." He gestured to the grand mansion they were having dinner in. Having had enough of leaning over to be eye-to-eye with Bruce, he slumped back down onto his chair. His grand, collared, cape got thrown back in the process.

"..Bruce is fine," Bruce answered, still a bit nervous. Ra's nodded at him. Surrounded by a thick layer of eyeliner, his eyes seemed to stare into Bruce's soul. Bruce hated to judge someone for their clothing style, but the way Ra's dressed was certainly off for a meet-the-family type dinner. In fact, with the gold button on his cloak looking eerily like a demon's face, he was practically dressed like a supervillain.

Everyone began eating the food in peace. Nyssa did not try to stab anyone during that time, and neither did Ra's. It was pure silence at the dinner table, with everyone focusing purely on their plates instead of making conversation. Eventually, Ra's finally brought his head up from it and started speaking to Bruce.

"So… You want to marry my daughter?" Ra's asked, looking at Bruce sternly. His eyes carefully moved up and down, evaluating every single part of Bruce to see how worthy it was. He squinted at Bruce's jacket, his shoes, his expression… everything. As much as Bruce tried to seem calm and collected for Ra's, both the sudden assumption of marriage and the intense staring were only making him feel subconscious.

Fortunately, Talia immediately cleared it up, "We haven't even spoken about marriage yet, Father! Please, you're going to overwhelm him. Didn't I already tell you not to do this?" She pleaded. Talia gulped, just as she had been doing consecutively for this entire dinner. Watching her father act this way always felt a bit off, but having her boyfriend there just made it so much worse. She could easily feel what Bruce was feeling, -or at least what she thought he was- and she knew it was far from positive. Talia looked back down at her plate, hiding her face as it turned bright red. She didn't think she'd ever felt quite this embarrassed in her entire life.

"I apologize, but you do realize, Talia, that if you ever want your relationship to go anywhere you must marry him at some point. How long have you two been dating, again?" Ra's looked back at Bruce, waiting for him to finally speak for himself.

Bruce took a deep breath, "Somewhere around 6 months? Or possibly 7, it's hard to get it exact." Ra's raised an eyebrow at the number.

"You two… have not even been thinking about marriage yet? Let me tell you, every single one of my marriages has always started with a month -at most- of prior dating, and I have had at least one perfectly good marriage. You all remember Sora, may she rest in peace, and we had the happiest of marriages. Yet, we married out of convenience! We hardly knew each other! Sometimes, you young ones must just let-" Ra's rambled, only to be cut off by Talia sighing. The gush of air was so loud and obviously exasperated that it completely cut off his story. After a second or two of silence, he continued despite it, "As I was saying, sometimes you young ones need to understand that dating isn't going to secure a marriage. A good attitude will! Both Sora and I had a good attitude, and she managed to be the light of my life. But of course, that only lasted so-"

This time, Talia simply used her words to stop him, "-So long because she got strangled to death in front of your eyes. We all know, Father, and frankly I don't think Bruce needs to know your life story. Why can't we just talk about something a bit more.. Conventional? We already talk about murder and death so much, can't we just lighten up a bit?" She begged, biting her lip uncomfortably. Her eyes looked at Ra's softly, almost as if she was attempting to do puppy eyes.

"Fine, fine, I really should get to the point, anyhow. We must tell if he is worthy enough to even date you! Only the finest in the lands are worthy of you, my darling, and so far I doubt he's up to that standard." Ra's scoffed, and Bruce couldn't help but roll his eyes in return. Talia looked down again, rubbing her temples. She was just about ready to fall asleep on her father's nonsense. "Hmmm…." Not paying any attention to his daughter's misery, he stared into Bruce's eyes for what must have been the fifth time.

"He's…. Very….. Wealthy…." Talia stated. Each word was separated by a ton of sighs, groans, and deep breaths of frustration. Even as she spoke to her father, she kept her eyes locked down on her plate, in a painful stare. Ra's rested his chin on his hand as he considered her words. He looked side to side, while tilting his head every which way in correspondence.

"Well… I suppose a bit of extra money surely isn't hurting his worthiness." Ra's titled his head one last time, glancing up at Bruce from a different angle. Slowly, he adjusted his head back to normal. His arms were lightly touching down on the table, propping up his hands to wrap their fingers in between the other one. Ra's leaned forward, with his face now less than a foot in front of his hands. "But… you can already get as much of that as you'd ever possibly need from me. Worthiness, you see, is about much more than that. It's about the intelligence. The skill. The strength. The willpower…. The grace." His index fingers, now pointing up from the rest of his hands, tapped against each other. Each tap was methodical, rhythmic… like the ticking of a clock, clacking each second away.

Bruce felt a cold, thick, drop of sweat roll down his forehead, "I… I once took an IQ test. Mine is… higher than normal. Quite a bit higher, I believe." He picked up his napkin and quickly wiped the sweat off, attempting to push a smile onto his face. Or, just some sign of confidence, at the very least. Unfortunately, he was just a billionaire -and not a very emotionally-mature billionaire at that- so it wasn't exactly helping his case.

"Good. That's very good…." Ra's nodded approvingly. His index fingers tapped together again each time his head bopped up and down. Finally looking up from her plate, Talia started to smile, a glint of hope in her eyes. "But if you really have such an impressive intelligence quotient, you better start acting like it. Hit it where it really counts, not just some meaningless quiz. If you want to receive my daughter's hand in marriage, you will prove yourself worthy of such a thing in real life." His head's nodding quickly came to a stop.

Talia sighed again, but didn't even try to bother stopping it. Her mind was much more focused on the worse tests she reckoned would come after… the ones her beloved, as wonderful and skilled as he was, was still bound to fail. She glanced up at Bruce, noticing how wet his forehead looked. Her warnings had not done a thing, as even now, he was acting as if this was a big problem in comparison to the other thing her father most valued.

As she silently brooded, Ra's began to start his opportunity for Bruce to prove his intelligence, "Bring. It. In!" His voice boomed through the room as he looked at his assassins servants expectantly. To his dismay, they all simply stared at him, waiting for some more clarification. Their eyes blinked unknowingly. Ra's cringed at his servant's lack of understanding. "I said, bring. It. In!" Yet again, he got nothing brought in at all. A long, exasperated sigh, -almost as heavy as Talia's had been all night- escaped his mouth.

One of the servants, still unsure what to do but eager to help, went over and stood by his side. The servant bowed, but didn't dare ask for clarification. Not wanting to anger the master, the servant made sure to be patient and let Ra's have time to explain himself.

Ra's turned directly towards the closest servant, looking him in the eyes desperately, "You know, it. The thing. The one you should be bringing in right now. Whipping up out of nowhere." The servant nodded, but continued to wait for even more of an explanation. Ra's waved his hand in front of the person, unsure if they were even listening. "Come on! Get to it! Bring. IT. IN….. Ah, forget it! I was really hoping I wasn't going to have to ruin the suspense and the drama like this, but the chess board! The one I always pull out dramatically when attempting to test whether I should respect someone! The grand assessment!"

"Ohhhhh…." The servant slowly nodded. They spun on their heels, beginning to make their way off to get the chess board. Every breath Ra's took was long and agitated, gushing out like the wind as he watched the servant disappear into the next room.

He turned back towards Bruce, "I apologize for that mishap. It seems I really should just keep my chess board nearby in these kinds of situations, but I promise you, my assassins did say they'd have it handy." He scoffed at their incompetence. Bruce, on the other hand, was a bit more focused on another thing. He stared at Ra's, his eyebrows furrowing.

If this family wasn't already freaking him out, they certainly were now, "A… Assassi-?!"

But before he even got to finish expressing his frantic confusion, Ra's quickly interrupted him. These 'assassins' of his were back, now with the chessboard that he desired so badly. Ra's rapidly swiped the chessboard out of their hands and slapped it down in front of the two of them.

"Finally, we can begin!" He exclaimed, a tint of annoyance still in his voice. He turned back towards his assassins for a moment, gritting his teeth. "We'll talk about this whole 'ruining my drama' thing later. All of you." Ra's pointed at his own two eyes with two of his fingers, and then pointed the fingers back down on the League of Assassins members.

"And I think we need to talk about this whole assassi-!?" Still more focused on the other matter at hand, he persisted in attempting to get some kind of explanation. But yet again, Ra's was simply not listening.

"You may go first. It's only fair that the guest gets privileges. Besides, I think you'll need every advantage you can get when playing with someone who's been playing this game for centuries." Ra's pointed to Bruce's end of the board, waiting. Bruce's lips quivered as he stared at it. From the corner of his eye, he watched as Ra's folded his hands together calmly. "Go on,"

Bruce chuckled nervously, "You're exaggerating… right?" His finger slowly inched towards the board as he thought about his first move. It was a strategy game, and Bruce was good at such games, but the claims Ra's was stating were more than intimidating. He bit his tongue, thinking back to all the games he'd won against Alfred.

"Exaggerating? Oh, hardly." Ra's shrugged, "You see, young man, this game has been going on far beyond even an old man like me's lifetime. I've been playing it for a long time, and I haven't gotten bored. But I have, as a matter of fact, learned many, many, strategies. I'd find it incredible for this to even last more than 30 minutes before you lose." Bruce leaned towards the board in concentration, attempting to ignore the chills running down his spine.

After what felt like forever of them playing chess, Talia finally saw an ending as she looked at the chess board. All of Bruce's pieces were blocked, in some way or another. She sighed in relief. Not only was this game not going to last forever, but her boyfriend wasn't even going to lose.

"It seems we've ended with a stalemate…" Ra's grinned at the outcome. He pulled out a clipboard from under the table, scribbling down the points this gave Bruce. Quickly tucking the clipboard back under the table, a look of awe sparkled in his eyes. "This is… incredible. Quite entertaining, actually! I haven't had a good opponent like this in years! Decades, even… if not centuries!" Bruce smirked, a sense of confidence raining over him. Talia rolled her eyes. She had certainly stalemated with Ra's at least once.

"Good, but now, can we please focus back on the fact that you called these… people around us... assassins?!" Bruce shook off the pride as he finally remembered the eerie mention. Talia's face flopped back down to face her plate. Her breaths were thin and short as she held back the urge to stand up and run straight out of this embarrassment.

"I did, didn't I...? Is that a problem? Did I offend you with that term?" Her father's voice rose. Despite the innocent questions, he fought back the urge to roll his eyes or scoff yet again in annoyance. "Would you prefer them to be called ninjas, murderers, or simply 'the people around us'? …..You're the guest."

"Murdere-?!" Bruce leaned back, unsure how to even say such a terrifying word. His mouth dropped open as his eyes anxiously darted back and forth. "These people are really… actual….." Talia reached over to Bruce, squeezing his hand.

"Are you alright, Beloved?" Talia asked. Her hand was warm, or possibly even a bit fever-ish to the touch. As was her cheeks, so very red with nerves. Bruce stared at her face, observing the not only embarrassed, but almost shameful expression smeared across it. A thought suddenly occurred to him… a quite unnerving, but eerily plausible one.

Bruce sighed, "...yes," He muttered through gritted teeth. Talia's shoulders slouched down, feeling her tense muscles relax at the reassurance. Bruce turned back towards Ra's, pouting his lip in a disapproving frown. "But… I don't want to stay here any longer than I have to. Let's get on with it, Ra's." Talia's muscles tensed right back up.

"Very well then, young man," Ra's aggressively shoved the chess board to the side. He pushed himself up from his seat, pulling out a sword that he had apparently been hiding in his pockets. "The next test is all about your ability to fight. Not only do I expect you to protect my daughter if the need comes up, but you also must be capable of winning wars if you want to win my daughter's love."

Talia pulled herself up from her seat, as well, "He already has my love, though, Father! No offense, but your tests and evaluations are all for yourself, and yourself only. We've already dated for long enough that it's ridiculous to act as if we aren't already in a romantic relationship." She crossed her arms, starting to get seriously fed up with her father's absurd behavior.

"Yes, yes, of course. But if you want me to treat you as my son-in-law, much less, my equal, you need to complete this test. It's about the respect! You've already shown competence in a battle of wits, now you must show you are just as skilled in physical battles for me to respect you." Ra's pointed his sword towards Bruce, making a stabbing motion towards the air. Bruce flinched as the sharp blade reached towards his chest. "Go on, get your blade out. This may not be a duel to the death -since Talia did go out of her way to make me promise I wouldn't stab you- but it's still a battle that you need to be prepared for."

"My… blade?" Bruce raised one of his eyebrows in confusion. He shook his head and squinted his eyes at Ra's. "I was just trying to go to a formal dinner, to meet my girlfriend's family. Why. Would. I. Have. a. Sword. With. Me?!" After having to listen to Ra's constantly scoff throughout the dinner, he finally managed to gather the courage to scoff back.

"You must always be prepared, young man. Always. You are obviously immature. You know strategies, but you lack the true wisdom to use them properly. But, I suppose that is only to be expected with your young age, so…. I will still give you a chance." Ra's slid his sword back into his pocket. His lips rested in a strict frown, but began to curve up ever so slightly for a moment. "Besides, you already stale-mated me. I love a good stalemate! I can't believe I found someone who could achieve such an outcome! You're wonderful, Bruce. Just wonderful… Assassins, get him a sword!"

Bruce could only stare as a woman, dressed in all black attire, handed him her sword. He opened his mouth to reject it, but only a small, frantic, l uttering sound sputtered out. Everyone, including Talia, Nyssa, the assassins, and a man who's name hadn't been mentioned yet, stepped back, leaving Bruce and Ra's alone. Bruce slowly wrapped his hands around the handle of his weapon, still adjusting to the odd feeling of holding such a sharp object in his hand. By the time he realized what was happening around him, it was much too late to eat his last bite of food.

In fact, it was too late to even stretch before the battle. Ra's, who was seemingly having enough of Bruce's shock, was already lunging over. His sword slashed at Bruce's. With Bruce's fingers barely even holding on to it, Bruce's sword immediately got flung to the ground upon feeling any kind of impact.

Clang! The metal blade chimed as it hit the hard floor. The sound instantaneously knocked Ra's out of his intense battle-focus. His teeth were not gritted anymore, and his eyes widened from their stern glaring. He looked down at the stray weapon, then back up to Bruce. Now realizing what had happened, Bruce's face turned red. A tiny spray of sweat appeared on his forehead as he looked down with embarrassment.

"With all due respect, I have never had a weaker or less skillful opponent." Ra's blinked at the pathetic sight, shaking his head. He bent down to the ground and picked up the sword. The woman who it belonged to eagerly reached out to take it from him. Ra's turned back towards Bruce, who gulped as he saw the disappointment in his eyes. "I suppose I should've expected this kind of thing from such an average billionaire, although that chess game had sure gotten me hopeful. I mean god, was that a good game!" Ra's mumbled, holding back a smile.

Bruce sighed, "Let me guess, you want me to never date or even speak to your daughter again." He looked back at Talia, his shoulders slumping at the thought of leaving someone so lovely. But almost just as quickly, his shoulders pulled back up again. "Because if I may just say, this is completely unwarranted! You could've at least given me a warning about this nonsense…"

"You.. have a point." Ra's nodded, "Which is why I haven't completely ruled you out. That chess game still proves your utter excellency in nature, so perhaps it is rather cruel to blame you for this one time. But-"

Out of pure instinct, Bruce punched Ra's in the gut and kicked him to the floor. Ra's quickly jumped back up and dusted himself off, hardly bothered physically. But mentally, he was shocked. Talia ran to her father's side to make sure he was alright.

"Why would you do that, Beloved?" She yelled at Bruce. With Ra's obviously unarmed, she took a step towards her boyfriend. "You already weren't doing very well on his evaluations, so how do you think attacking him is going to help you?"

"I've proved I can defeat him." Bruce narrowed his eyes, still confident in his reckless behavior. Talia sighed, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. "He was doubting my ability to fight, but I've proved that I'm perfectly capable of throwing a punch or two. Since he's so obsessed with my fighting, it should help me be 'worthy' or whatnot." He crossed his arms.

Ra's rested his forehead against his hand, facepalming, "Yes, you got me on the ground for a bit, but at what cost? Ambushing may be a great strategy, and I already admitted you knew many strategies, but what kind of true warrior would use it on his own friend!?" He snapped. His large boots rattled as he stomped his foot on the ground. "A little agitation and frustration towards me does not take away the fact that you never declared us at war!" He began to stomp back to his seat at the dinner table.

"For goodness sakes, you're really going to lecture me about my morals when you've got a freaking assassin cult surrounding us!?" Bruce yelled back in return, "In my defense, when I see assassins, it really seems like anything I do would be in self-defense… Even if you weren't currently attacking me…" He argued. Every sense of nervousness had spiraled into anger.

"Exactly, we never attacked you except for a formal, well-mannered, spa-"

"Shut up! Can't you both just agree to disagree?!" Now shaking from frustration, Talia finally let her voice really rise and scream at them both. She tugged Bruce back to the table, and motioned for them both to sit down. "Apparently you're both a bit crazy, but two different kinds of crazy that apparently don't mix. I just- I just want this dinner to not be the worst experience of all of our lives…." As she settled back down into her own chair, her voice began to lower again.

Bruce and Ra's both begrudgingly nodded. Everyone's muscles began to relax, and their breaths were much slower and calmer. The ticks of an old clock clacked in the background as everyone went back to eating calmly. After a few minutes of peaceful silence, a soft conversation began again.

"I don't think you two ever introduced yourselves." Bruce pointed to another man and woman who were seated at the table with them. They had been simply watching and speculating as him and Ra's did their shenanigans. "You're Nyssa, right?" He pointed to the woman who had stabbed Ra's not long ago.

"Yes, and it's been quite amusing to watch him be kinder to you than he is to me." Nyssa sent him a cold glare across the table. He shuttered. "I'm Talia's older sister… or technically half sister, but you get the point."

Ra's quickly took up the introductions once she was finished, "Yes, yes, she's my other daughter. Much older than Talia, but nowhere near as wonderful." He smiled at Talia, who blushed uncomfortably. Being the favorite was better than being the least favorite, but it could certainly be embarrassing, too. Ra's turned towards Dusan, "He's… my son? I think. I'm sorry, it's been a long time since his birth, so I sometimes forget it even happened! His name is… hmm… I'm fairly sure it starts with a C…"

"It's Dusan, Father. It doesn't even start with a C…" The man corrected. He sighed at his father's forgetfulness. Ra's titled his head at Dusan, displeased at the answer. His expression was questionable, with an eyebrow raised, like he was about to question Dusan on his own name. Dusan sighed even deeper.

"I… supposed that's his name, then…" Ra's gave in, his tone still indicating his lack of certainty on the matter. He looked Dusan in the eyes, making direct eye contact, "But don't call me Father! You're hardly my son if I can't even remember my name." Dusan returned the eye contact with a look of sadness and disappointment.

"If it makes you feel any better, Dusan, I still consider you my big brother." Talia stated, smiling towards him shyly. Dusan shook off the eye contact with Ra's to send a bitter glare back to his younger sister.

"Oh really? Like I care, Favorite! One day, he's going to realize that I'm the better child and you're going to be forsaken considering how much trouble you've caused him!" Dusan scowled at Talia. She groaned, but stayed quiet in an attempt to avoid another embarrassing argument.

"Don't you dare speak to your superior that way!" Despite her silence, Ra's was far from quiet. He immediately looked back towards Bruce as he finished speaking. His speech was completely polite to Bruce now, as if the spontaneous attack had never even happened. "I apologize for his foul behavior, Bruce. It seems that sometimes immature children will act out if you forget to treat them kindly."

"Um… okay." Bruce squinted at Ra's, concerned but still confused. He was still certain that despite the uncalled-for attack, Ra's was still indefinitely the crazier one. But of course, in an effort to not upset Talia, Bruce kept this thought to himself. "I… suppose you must have another test for me, right?"

"Of course! Even though your manners aren't the very best, I will admit you did get me on the ground for a bit there, so… I still haven't counted you out. With a little teaching, you could be a very worthy man." Ra's complimented, "I'd just like to ask you a few questions, to get a grip of your personality just a bit better." He explained, pushing his food to the side.

"Go ahead," Bruce said. Despite his encouraging words, though, he was frowning in utter disinterest. He slowly pushed his food to the side to clear a path between them. Ra's pointed to Bruce before he asked the first question.

"How do you feel about the environment? More specifically, the planet. Innocent animals made endangered by man-made devices and pollution!" Ra's began. He eagerly stretched his hand over to grab a nearby globe, pulling it into his clutches. His thick, strong, fingers spun it nonchalantly.

Bruce thought about the question for a moment, "I feel bad for the animals. Since I have so much money, I've donated tons to helping them, and I feel the environment is a very important cause. I will admit I haven't done a ton of work with it myself, though…" He answered the question as truthfully as possible, figuring it probably wasn't too important.

"That's good… although I would appreciate a bit more enthusiasm for such an important cause." Ra's nodded, quickly moving on to the next question. "How about… murder? Assuming there's a good cause for it, of course."

Bruce froze, "Do I… do I have to answer truthfully?" He whispered into Talia's ear. She nodded, pointing towards her father. With a couple of her fingers pressed up to her neck, she made a cut-throat gesture. Bruce shuttered and shook at such a threatening signal, even if it was more of a simple warning. "I think it's horrible. One of the worst crimes imaginable. I would never commit it, even if it cost me my life. I don't think there's any excuse for taking another human being's life, no matter what that human being has done."

Ra's frowned at the blunt response, "But what if it saved other lives? The animals, which we've hurt so much with pollution's lives, perhaps?" He argued, continuing to spin his globe fidgetly. His eyes peered down at the bright blue paint, thinking of the dolphins, fish, seals, and whales that all inhabited that precious space. The space humans were constantly taking over, with their plastic, machinery, and oil spills. To Ra's, such horrid actions seemed surely worthy of the death penalty.

"I said no," Bruce shook his head stubbornly. "No one deserves to die, period. I'm not going to be persuaded on this." He glared at Ra's, starting to get more and more confident by the minute. Ra's glowered right back at him.

Talia sighed, "You know, Beloved… You didn't have to be this blunt about it." She leaned her head on chin on her hand wearily. Her eyes began to close softly, having no energy left after all the messes that had gone on. "I just didn't want you making up something too-good-to-be-true…."

Bruce rolled his eyes, "Well maybe I want to be blunt-"

"Well, I'd like to remind you that my father isn't exactly the person you want to upset!" She gestured back towards all the highly-trained assassins surrounding them. Every single one had belts with an arsenal of weapons tucked inside, and half of them had enough muscles to take down most people without the help of the weapons. "Only a fool would mess with such a man. After months of dating you, I hope I am not misled when I say you're not that much of an idiot."

Bruce gulped, immediately realizing his mistake, "I…. I'm sorry, Mr. Al Ghul." He looked back at Ra's nervously. He quickly tightened his tie and fixed his posture, hoping even that small of a change could make a difference. . . Whether that difference was a matter of life or death, or simply whether Talia and him were allowed to keep dating.

"You know... '' Ra's considered his options, peering at Bruce judgmentally. "That kind of rebelness does show courage, if you squint. I'll be fair and say it's bound to come in handy at some point in your life… so, I have decided that you two may keep dating. From what I've heard, you make my daughter happy, so I suppose I'd feel bad being too judgemental." He smiled at Talia. Getting up from his seat, he wandered around the table to kiss her forehead lovingly.

Despite the loving gesture, though, Talia was much more focused on the wonderful news this meant for her and Bruce. The minute her father was done giving her the kiss, she ran over to Bruce and hugged him. Bruce wrapped his hands around her as well, squeezing her against him.

"Thank you, Father," Talia turned back towards Ra's for a split second before leaning back into Bruce's hug. She rested her cheek against him affectionately. "You're alive. I can't believe you're still alive. Everyone's still alive…." She smiled, tilting her to the left to peck him on the cheek.

"Yes.. although I will admit it's a bit sad that we even questioned that.. Not that we didn't have the right to." Bruce glared at Nyssa and Ra's bitterly. Fortunately, they were both looking the opposite way. He really had to stop doing so much of this rebellious, impolite, glaring at those he was attempting to make fond of him. "But more importantly, we get to stay together! I knew I had made the right move by attacking your father." He smirked.

"Sure you did," Talia's smile twisted into a smirk along with his, "There's a reason he didn't kill you, though, Beloved. You were wonderful… and the stalemate? That's more than impressive. It took me my entire childhood of playing chess with him to start being able to get those! You're so intelligent, and brave, and… well, I'm just very glad I fell in love with someone as wonderful as you. Even if you did punch my Father." Her eyes softened for a moment, now taken over by a bittersweet gaze.

"...Thank you," Bruce smiled softly back to her, but it was quickly taken over by a more solemn, concerned, expression. "Can we talk outside for a moment, Talia? After all this, I think there's a lot we need to go over… privately." He nudged her out of the comfy hug.

Talia's smile immediately dropped, "Of… course," She stuttered, now remembering that Bruce had just learned tons of secrets in this one evening. Her head turned slightly back towards Ra's, "Please excuse us for a moment." Taking Bruce's hand, Talia led him outside to a nearby courtyard.

Once they got there, Bruce let out a long, painfully loud, groan. He flopped down onto one of the benches drowsily. Talia sat down with him, letting out a smaller groan herself. They sat there, with all masks and forced smiles dropped for an awkward minute or two. Their eyes were closed for the most of it, only flickering open every few seconds.

"I assume you want to break up with me, anyway." Talia finally spoke, her words slow and quiet above the peeps of nearby crickets. She stared straight down at the ground, neglecting to blink or let the aching tears stream out of her eyes. Bruce slowly looked up at her. Both their heads were still dropping forwards for the most part, but he peered at her from the corner of his eye. Another gap of silence stood between them before he finally opened his mouth to answer her question.

"...No, not necessarily." Bruce finally answered. He looked back down at his lap, avoiding any kind of eye contact. Her chin twitched upwards at the good news. But as he spoke again, Talia's chin lowered. "But… out of curiosity, if I did, would your father kill me?"

"Well… yes, probably." Her skirt gently flew up, caught in the airy breeze. She breathed in and out, as slow and soft as the wind. Bruce bit his lip, pouting ever so slightly. He swallowed in consideration. "But I would try my best to stop it from happening, Beloved. As much as it would ache me, I would never want you to die, of course. …..You could fake your own death." She suggested, finally lifting her chin enough to really look at him.

Bruce flinched, but kept his head down, "I'd… rather not do that." A muffled groan escaped his lips. Talia's lips quivered at the uncomfortable sound. Her head dropped again, spinning towards the opposite direction. As she turned away, Bruce continued thinking over his options. Everything felt wrong, but somehow right in an odd way. They sat in silence for another couple minutes as he fell deep into his thoughts.

"You promised," Talia suddenly blurted out. Tears had begun to well up in the corners of her eyes. She continued to look away from him, hiding the weak, desperate look on her face. "You promised you wouldn't blame me for them….. You promised." Her voice was careful as she attempted to keep her tone as calm as possible.

Bruce nodded, "You're right," He stated. For a second, but only for a second, did his voice crack into a much shakier tone. It pained him to look at her, to hear her faltering voice, and most of all, to know that she hadn't truly done a thing. At least, as far as he knew. "Your father's a criminal. The leader of a league dedicated to murder. So, with that knowledge in mind…. How many people have you murdered?"

Talia gulped, "You- You don't want to know." She shook her head shamefully. Bruce winced at the cold, gut-wrenching answer. "You and I both know you don't truly want to hear the answer to that question." She repeated. Talia pressed her eyes closed, letting tears seep out out and on to her trembling cheeks. Bruce was going to go. She was sure of it.

"Why…? Why would you-" Bruce stuttered. He finally fully lifted his head to face the apparent-murderer. Talia turned even farther away from him in response.

"Can't you see? My father is an ecoterrorist, Beloved. A mass-murderer. A genocidal maniac. I spent my entire childhood in his care… Of course I've killed for him!" Her voice rose a bit. Talia's eyes peered back at Bruce to see his reaction, but she didn't move a muscle in her neck to truly look at him. "I swear on my life, I didn't enjoy it. But I couldn't let him down. I still can't let him down. He's still my father, and… I can't betray my own family, can I?" She wrapped her arms around herself. A sad look sparkled in her eyes, almost mirroring the stars above them.

Bruce felt a tinge of anger run up his spine, "But…. you want to, don't you?" Talia's neck shook as her head flopped even closer to her lap. He moved his hand a bit closer to her, considering whether he should place it on her shoulder or not.

"Maybe I do," Talia whispered, her words barely audible. It was if she was simply mouthing them to herself. She squeezed her eyes shut as she spoke the tiny, quiet, little words. As she slowly opened them again, she gradually turned her head to finally face him. Their eyes met for a moment, "But maybe I don't. It's more complicated than that, Beloved ..." Her head still faced him, but her eyes broke out of the eye contact. They wandered in the opposite direction wistfully.

Bruce sucked in his lips, every muscle in his body cramping together. He resisted every urge in himself to touch her, hug her... or simply just reach a bit closer to hold hands. She was a murderer. He shouldn't have felt this way, he knew he shouldn't, but the urges were there. Bruce. Still. Loved. Her. It hurt to say the words inside his head, but not quite as much as it hurt to deny it. He kept his hand still, worried even a small vibration of movement could result in him fully wrapping his arms around Talia. But as he focused on stillness in his body, Bruce felt another hand reach over and squeeze his.

"All I know now, Beloved… is that I don't want to betray you." Talia looked straight at him now, adjusting her entire body to lean towards him. Bruce looked straight at her, as well. Her green eyes were glossy, with wet tears glistening in the moonlight. "We could still work out. My father actually seems to admire you, and I do, as well, but…. I'm not sure if you return such admiration…. After everything you've learned."

"You have a point," Bruce pushed himself off the bench. He began to tread forward, wandering around the courtyard. "I lose nothing from staying with you… except perhaps my lack of relations with murderers. It's not like I'm completely innocent myself. I may not have taken anyone's life, but I certainly started some fires against people who didn't completely deserve it. My poor math teacher…. Besides, I made a promise." He paced back and forth, gradually walking faster and faster|.

Talia sighed, "But that promise only included what my family did," She stood up with him. "They are my murders, not my-"

"Yes," He looked down for a moment, lost in thought yet again. His mouth rested in an aloof frown. Bruce's eyes narrowed. "But even then, it's more than clear you wouldn't be such a murderer if it weren't for where you were raised. Blaming you for such a thing could be considered breaking my promise either way." His hands spun up and down, gesturing as he explained his logic.

Talia's hand reached over to his, "Please… I'm not some kind of damsel in distress. I may have tears coming out of my eyes, and I may look pathetic right now, but…you still must make the choice that suits your heart. I don't want your pity." Her eyebrows arched, a stern focus taking over. Bruce's hands stopped twirling. A stillness crept over, with her hand just barely resting on his arm peacefully.

"-And I will not give you any, Talia," Bruce cleared his throat. Finally giving in to the undying urges, he wrapped his arms around her. Talia felt him pull her into a soft embrace. "Even through mistakes, and even, well... crimes, there is one thing standing. One thing other than pity- and that is love. It may make me crazy for doing so, or even a criminal, but I will give you mine."

"What does that even mean, though?" Talia asked, looking downwards. Her eyelids flapped up and down as she quickly blinked. "I… suppose it doesn't even matter, does it? Not now, anyhow… If you will give me your love, then I will give you mine." She quickly peeked back up, now with a wide smile across her face.

"I think we both know what that means, then… and what it doesn't." Bruce sighed, carefully taking a step back from Talia. Their loving embrace loosened. Talia's smile began to drop, but still not fully hit a frown. "I'm sorry. I… may have gotten lost in the fairytales there. Or maybe I was right. I'm not even sure anymore, Talia…"

Talia took deep breaths as she thought everything he was saying over, "You… you said thought we both knew what it meant… and what it didn't, of course. But perhaps…" Her hand, hesitant and unsure, began to slowly nudge him back towards her. Despite his overall reluctance, he easily let her lead him in the movement. "Perhaps for now… we can just focus on what it does mean, Beloved." She whispered the endearing nickname, a hopeful smile appearing on his face. Bruce couldn't help but smile back.

With their arms already wrapped tightly around each other, Talia slowly began to lean in for a kiss. Bruce closed his eyes, gently following her affectionate behavior. Both of their soft hugs towards the other one tightened even more as they leaned in close. The soft glow of the moon shimmered behind them as they finally kissed. Talia and Bruce held the other one happily. Happy. Even for just a moment, they were happy.

[george-fabian-weasley]

Fred Weasley — Helplessly Part 1

Summary: After the Battle Of Hogwarts, Fred was rushed to the muggle hospital for better treatment of his injuries. While on a coma, his soul stayed with you for a couple of months. He watches as you went through the stages. And he watches when you start to write a song, just for him.

Words: 1,459 words

Warnings ⚠ : Angst, Constant Pain™, PTSD, Genuine Heartbreak, Author Bawled so You Will Bawl Too, Happy Ending

Disclaimer: I'm just...... IN PAIN.

TAGLIST FOR HELPLESSLY: HERE

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5(COMING SOON!)

---------------------------------------------------

CHAPTER 1: When It Went Down

The Weasleys were running.

“Move out of the way!” Arthur Weasley’s shrill shout echoed through the hospital, beside him was a hospital cart, with his unconscious son on board. Around the cart were the Weasleys, all looking ragged and dusty, but themselves were the last thing on their minds. 

The first thing was this one, on the cart. You were right next to it, holding the cold freezing hand of Fred Weasley, who had been crushed by the shattered walls during the Battle of Hogwarts. While being thankfully alive, Fred was critical, one more second and he could be… no, you don’t want to go there. Squeezing the hand back and forth, begging with tears in your eyes that the hand squeeze back, rather than remaining stoic and… cold.

Shouts of doctors and nurses were tense as they took in Fred to the emergency unit, some of them stayed back to hold Arthur, Molly, George, and you from going in. “You cannot go in there, sir! Leave this to the experts, please!” You heard the doctor who’s holding Arthur back firmly said, while the red-haired man begged the doctor to let him in. 

As soon as Voldemort had been killed by Harry, the Weasleys took no more risks and Apparated straight to a Muggle hospital, for their severely injured boy, Freddie. Ron and Ginny stayed back at Hogwarts to make sure everything was alright. But Bill, Charlie, Percy, George, Molly, and Arthur couldn’t stay and wait. They have to come with you to send Fred's help.

Molly hugged you, relying on you for comfort, while simultaneously giving you comfort as well. Both of you needed it. Fred was your lover, and he was her son. “He’ll be alright, Molly. He’ll be alright.” You whispered sweet nothings to Molly, as the loving woman cried in your embrace. 

The embrace felt like hours, your tears mixed with hers ever so frequently, praying to whoever up there who listens to save your Fred.

The adrenaline slowly wore down from each of you, and you realized you were also severely injured. Every single one of you. Thankfully, there was a branch in the Hospital for Magical Healers, and so you received treatment. 

George’s ear injury had been re-opened, and he kept hearing high pitches and experiencing dizziness. Percy had bluish bruises in his arms, he was the one who dug Fred out of the shattered stones, most likely received cuts and bruises along the way. Bill had several injuries from the spells he was attacked with, yet overall, he was fine. 

Charlie had gotten a pretty deep cut along his abdomen, yet the dragon tamer had said he’s had worse. Molly and Arthur, while being relatively not injured physically, were emotionally traumatized by the sight of Fred earlier. Molly kept whispering under her breath, with a few stray tears in her eyes, “They’re just children…”

You… You had some injuries as well, but nothing could come over the fear of going back to the Great Hall and see the boy you’ve loved with all your soul, lying there almost lifelessly. 

“Y/N,” Harry called you, you were leaning against the wall catching your breath after combating with countless of Death Eaters. “What is it, H?” You replied with a wide grin, seemingly proud of your work today. Harry’s expression was grim, and he was avoiding your eyes by looking down, “It’s Fred.”

With that sentence only, you find yourself running to the Great Hall, several emotions swarming you at once. As if in slow-motion, your memories with Fred started to replay at the back of your mind. From the moment you first met him at the 9 3/4 platform, until the moment just yesterday, where he was hugging you from behind, trailing kisses on your neck while mumbling ‘I love yous’.

You can’t lose him. No, he was the light of your life.

Your breath hitched as soon as you arrived, you saw the Weasleys swarming someone, they were crying tremendously. Hermione saw you, and with teary eyes, she hugged you, and with a shaky voice she said, “I’m sorry, Y/N.”

You were frozen. No, no. It… It can’t be. You walked slowly to where they were, George was sobbing while hugging Ron. You had to drag your feet; they were suddenly very heavy to move. 

“… Freddie?”

The quiver in your voice. The pitching fear at the tip. The breathless gasp. Everything was overwhelming.

Fred Gideon Weasley there, lying on the ground, with his eyes closed, and his lips etched a soft smile.

Your legs gave in. You dropped to the ground with a silent thud. You couldn’t tear your eyes away from that face. That face that would make funny expressions to cheer you up. That face that would cry with you, so you won’t cry alone. That face that you would caress every night, counting every single freckle as if they were stars. That face, with a soft smile on the lips.

You scrambled to him, your hands were shaking, “No. No no no, Freddie. Freddie, wake up. Freddie, my love, wake up.” Trembling hands made their way to cup his cold face, the coldness made you let out a desperate, shaky cry. “Ahh, Fred... This- This isn’t funny, you git. W-wake up. Wake up, sweetheart.” 

One, two, three. And soon more tears follow. You almost couldn’t see him through all the tears clouding your vision. Some of them dropped onto him as you cradled his head, your trembling hands dusted away the dirt on his face, caressing the skin shakily. “Freddie please! Wake up! Wake up please, I’m begging you!” You were a wailing mess. You hug his head, kissing his forehead so many times, whimpering, “No... No, please. Fred, please don’t go. You’re- you’re fine, Freddie. You’re fine. I’m-I’m here. I’m here, sweetheart, you can’t leave me. You-you can’t leave me. Not like this, no Freddie, not-not like this…”

You didn’t realize somebody was sitting down across from you and Fred, you were too immersed with the emotions drowning you.

Too immersed that you didn’t hear the echoing voices around you. Until George shook you suddenly, “Y/N!!!” You faced him, still terribly crying, he cupped your face, wiping your tears. 

With teary, swollen eyes and a runny nose, he painted a giant, relieved smile on his lips, “He’s alive, Y/N. Madam Pomfrey said he’s alive!”

“W...What?” You couldn’t even let out a noise. And then you saw it. That somebody sitting across you was Madam Pomfrey, she had her hand on Fred’s left upper chest. She was smiling in relief to you, “He still has a heartbeat, dear. He’s alive.”

Your eyes opened.

A few hours ago. You didn’t realize you’ve been reliving the memories for several hours. you were now in a hospital bed, with long wires inside you, connecting you to several machines. The fluorescent lights made you squint your eyes, unfamiliar with the brightness.  

“Y/N?” A voice. There was a voice. You couldn’t move your head, it seems like your body was paralyzed as if you’ve been Stupefied. And then someone came into your vision, it was Hermione.

She let out the breath she held earlier in relief, she looked away from you and said, “Y/N’s awake!”

Your throat feels sandy, you couldn’t let out any voice. Hermione was attentive to you, she had reached a water bottle with a straw, “Here, Y/N. You’ve passed out for almost two days now. We’ve been worried sick for you.”

As you sat up, you groaned from the pain of not moving for several hours, and then you see the Weasleys, and Harry, and also Fleur. Molly was right beside Hermione, “Are you alright, dear?” You wordlessly nodded, scanning the people staring at you. Strange, everyone was in bandages. And why does it feel like someone’s missing-

And then it clicked. The main reason why you’re here in the first place. 

Your head had never turned so suddenly, your eyes widening in anticipation, dry lips moving to form coherent words, “How is he? How’s Fred?”

“Is… Is he alive?” Your voice was hoarse. The quiver in your voice was hard not to notice, and Molly quickly said, “Y/N, dear, have a drink first.”

“No, Molly. Where is he? Why is he not here?” You said loudly, you’ve grown anxious, at the back of your head you’re starting to feel the same as when how you felt at the Great Hall.

The fear was coming back, for sure, and rather fast.

“Y/N, calm down.” George reached out, putting a comforting hand on your leg. “Fred’s alright. But,” He trailed off, unsure of how to tell you.

“But what?” 

George’s eyes darted to Molly, who just reluctantly nodded before reverted his eyes to you. “He’s in a coma, Y/N.”

---------------------------------------------------

PART 2: READ 

A/N: Just know that I sobbed terribly at this chapter, this is honestly how I think it would go if Fred has a lover in the Deathly Hallows pt 2, without the Madam Pomfrey scene. Damn, if that scene was there, I would be traumatized :D

This fic is a full fanfic btw. That means it’s going to have more chapter than 3, so I hope you love this one as much as I do! Until then! p/s: check out my other works in my masterlist, it’s in my bio!

[missdawnandherdusk]

That Would Be Enough

Hufflepuff!Reader X Draco

Look at where you are

Look at where you started

The fact that you're alive is a miracle

Just stay alive, that would be enough

Chapter 1     Chapter 2    Chapter 3     Chapter 4     

Chapter 5     Chapter 6    Chapter 7    Chapter 8    

Chapter 9     Chapter 10

Summary: Dumbledore is dead and the pieces start to fall apart or in to place...

A/n: Okay guys, this is a great chapter because you get to look into the past and into the future and also you get to see the loose ends start to tie themselves... who’s ready for this to end soon? Not me, but at least I’m figuring out how I want to end it. Also, my postings will be a bit more sporadic because I’m in college and have a job and so writing, though still fun takes energy that I rarely possess...

I stood and Draco was beside me. I looked to him frantically, wondering what was next. What would be next for the two of us?

There was hardly a moment to think for ourselves because beside us, Snape apparated into the foyer, causing my to jump in panic, into Draco’s arms. The professor seemed to take the sight of the two of us in, and something soft and sad was in his eyes before he recovered.

“Are you to unharmed?” He asked curtly. We nodded mutely.

Then the thought ran through my mind, or perhaps I had finally allowed myself to think it.

The man in front of us was a murderer.

The man in front of us saved Draco’s innocence. Something that I couldn’t even do.

My mind begged the question: was Snape good? All I could find were grey answers.

“Is it done?” Narcissa’s voice caught all of our attention.

“Yes,” Snape retorted. “And I expect the Dark Lord to be here any moment, so if you’d like to flee Miss Y/n, now would be the time,”

“I’m not running,” I declared defiantly—foolishly.

A loud crack sounded through the large Manor, and the air grew cold and foreboding. Draco registered what was occurring before I did. He protectively pushed me behind him as many more Death Eaters appeared around us until black flooded the green marble floors. They were all shouting in victory. They were all laughing and grinning. Even behind their masks, it wasn’t hard to understand their pure joy about the death of Dumbledore.

My fingers gripped Draco’s cloak as I went numb, by choice or perhaps not. My mind shut down and had gone to autopilot. One look in Draco’s eyes and I knew that he had as well. His hand still found mine, however. That was one thing, even numb, that would never change. Narcissa came behind me, holding my shoulders—comfortingly or defensively, I wasn’t sure.

One thing broke Draco’s perfect mask and made Narcissa gasp in terror. The sight of Lucius. I could barely make out a clear image of his father, only the long silver blond hair that I knew well. On the cold ground, Lucius looked desperately to something—someone.

The Dark Lord.

I could not mistake this being for anyone else. The creature that haunted my dreams and plagued my reality. Not meters from me. His cruelty revealed everything.

I had never seen the Dark Lord happy, but a gruesome smile distorted his ghastly face. My grip on Draco’s hand was so tight that my nails dung into his skin. If I had control, I would have lessened the pressure, but the control no longer belonged to me. Instead it belonged to the beast in long dark robes with blood red eyes.

Words left his lips, but I had no power to listen. It wasn’t until other people acted upon me that I had any reaction to the events around me.

Draco held firmly to my arm and Narcissa to my shoulders, refusing to let me go. To let me be pulled into the circle of Death Eaters next to Lucius.

“Ah, ah,” The Dark Lord refuted gently. “Come, bring the girl,”

Narcissa’s hands left regretfully and Draco met my eyes, terrified before he let me go too.

I was shoved into the middle of the circle of Death Eaters, wand gripped tightly in my hand. Before me, I could finally see Lucius—looking more ghostly than I had ever seen him, frail and defenseless. A storm of emotions overwhelmed me. Anger overpowered the others. He had hurt so many of the ones I loved. Not fifteen years ago did he kill me father in the same room.

Maybe I’d have the pleasure of vengeance after all.

“A gift for you my dear,” Voldemort purred, as if to read my thoughts. “I heard you were marvelous in using the Cruciatus Curse on Precious Potter, and I wonder if you’d like to display you skills again?”

My eyes flashed from hallow grey eyes to vivid red ones.

“You want me to...” my voice wavered. My anger fizzled out.

“Well of course, you did aid dear Draco in his mission, and were quite marvelous, I thought it might only be fitting to reward you,” His false kindness eerily swept through me, leaving me in uncertain ground. “Just think of all of the hurt Lucius has caused you. He murdered your father, abused the one you love for years and still he kneels there on the ground loathing you,”

In my mind I saw the death of my father again. The fruitless pleas that fell from his lips. The bright green flash that ended his life.

Tears stung my eyes as my gaze fell upon Lucius again.

Then I saw a shade of Draco in those troubled grey eyes: The night of the third trial and the absolute dread in Draco’s eyes. The night of the ball as this man spoke coldly to him. The breakdown Draco had not a month later. The need for healing potions to be on hand. All because of the man before me.

My lip quivered as the tears fell silently. But then my memories shifted.

To Draco chasing after me at the ball. Or the day we first kissed that summer. Seeing him on the train. The day he defended me from Umbridge. Every smile and every tear. The nights when he broke and the days when he was put back together.

That was so much more valuable than my hatred for Lucius.

Then my eyes met Narcissa’s. They were frozen in shock and fear. I could see the desperate pleas in them to spare her husband’s life. A woman who went through two wars, desperate to keep her family together. Losing one sister to insanity and another to disownment. Losing a husband to hatred and a son to darkness. A woman who welcomed me with opened arms because she believed that I could pull her family back together, even for a little while. She had faith in me. In the kindness and goodness in me.

That was so much more valuable than my hatred for Lucius.

“Crucio,” I whispered, the spell taking no effect on the man before me.

“Like you mean it my dear!” The Dark Lord encouraged. “Let out all of your hatred and anger! Every wrongdoing, every lie, every injustice!”

“Crucio!” I called out louder and still there was little effect. The circle of Death Eaters around me snickered, mocking me.

“She has had a long day My Lord,” Snape spoke up. “Perhaps she will be better suited in the morning after a night’s rest,”

Voldemort’s blood red eyes peered at me, but I was at peace. There was no thought for him to have. My mind was plate glass. A reflection for him to gaze upon.

“Perhaps,” The Dark Lord echoed. “Take her out of my sight,”

Again, I was grabbed and thrown hastily out of the circle and into not Draco’s arms, but Narcissa’s. There were tears in her eyes and a kind smile on her face as she led me upstairs to Draco and my shared room.

“Thank you,” She wrapped me up tightly in a hug. “That was a kindness I didn’t deserve,”

“My love for you and Draco outshines any malice I have towards Lucius,” I whispered. “You’re my family, and family sticks together,”

She pressed a kiss to my forehead and cradled me close. Tears fell down her face as soft sobs wracked her frame. There was a knock on the door causing us both to jump. Narcissa wiped her eyes quickly and composed herself opening the door only to meet Snape.

“They’ve gone, he requires medical attention,” His voice was soft and curt.

Without hesitation, I rushed to Draco’s bathroom grabbing three vials: healing, thoughts, and anxiety. I brushed past Snape and Narcissa, heading down the stairs to where Draco was cradling his father, unshed tears in his eyes.

“Here,” I knelt beside him, uncorking the first vial.

Draco and I worked like a well-oiled machine as the potions took their affect onto his father. Some color returned to his deathly face. Snape and Narcissa both had their wands drawn, casting healing and protection spells of their own. Lucius’ breathing became steady and no longer did he look like a corpse. Though he looked aged, he looked human.

“Thank you,” Narcissa murmured, stroking Lucius’ hair from his face. “You two get to bed,” she ordered softly.

“Y/n,” Snape called before I ascended the stairs. “The Dark Lord will be waiting for you to torture Lucius. He will not let you fail in this attempt.”

“I... I can’t do it. I never wanted to do it in the first place to Harry,” I confessed, my voice rasping.

“You must.” Snape rose. “For the sake of your life and for Draco’s. This is a different game now.”

I nodded and took Draco’s hand, rushing up the stairs and into the safety of our room. Like his mother had, Draco wrapped me up into his arms and only then did I realize I was shaking rather violently. I didn’t feel panicked, but my body said otherwise.

“Thank you,” He pressed a kiss to the top of my head. “You were kind in ways that I never could have been,” It seemed that the only even that either of us could process at the moment had been the past few minutes.

“I couldn’t do it. Not when I looked in his eyes and saw you,” I whispered into his shoulder.

“What are you going to do?” He asked. “You... the Dark Lord isn’t going to...”

“I know,” I sighed. “I don’t know what to do. But I won’t cast another Unforgivable.”

“Maybe it’s time for you to leave,” his words held a softness as he cupped my face. “To keep you safe.”

“I can’t leave you here, Draco,” I refuted. “I won’t go. I have to show them I won’t be broken. I won’t let hatred win,”

“Do you understand how dangerous this is?” His words became curt. “You could be killed for showing any disloyalty.”

“I know, I know,” I dismayed. “But I won’t run. I won’t be a coward... and I have nowhere to go...” There was nowhere that I could go that I knew wouldn’t be a target or a suspect for hiding me.

Draco huffed and ran a hand through his hair anxiously.

“Okay,” He gave in. “We should get to bed,”

“Dray,” I groaned. “This is my path as much as it’s yours. Please don’t push me away.” 

“I’m just trying to keep you alive,”

“My life isn’t my own anymore. I’ll willingly die for the good,” As soon as the words left my mouth my thoughts flashed to my father. “That’s why he did it.” I marveled mostly to myself. “That’s why my father wasn’t afraid of death,”

Draco stroked my cheek softly, the warmth in his grey eyes proving that Lucius would never be the man that Draco was.

Silence fell over us. Our minds, in sync, went mute. The phantoms of last summer guided us tonight. The warm silky water of a bath in his porcelain tub. The comforting scents of florals and memories. A trail of cloaks, robes, and clothes followed us to the bathroom and into the tub. My locket laid beside his family ring on the marble counter. His hands draped the water over my chilled skin, massaging away the tension in my muscles.

A year ago, there had been one mark on the two of us, now it seemed that there was no end to where our damage and scars were. And yet I didn’t feel shattered. I didn’t feel broken. Silent streams of tears trailed down our cheeks. They weren’t just of fear and anger, but perhaps also of relief and hope. What we dreaded had been done, now there were pieces to pick up. There was something to do. It wasn’t the brightest direction, but it was direction.

The shine of the moonlight reflected off of Draco’s eyes as we laid together in the comfort of clean cotton sheets. My fingers carded through the silver gossamer of his hair. I slipped into slumber in the comfort of the storms of his grey eyes.

My dreams were vividly bizarre. Trails of what ifs. Of almosts. Of what could have been.

A bright green flash coming from Draco’s wand. Coming from my wand. Draco dead in my arms. The last glimpses of life as I laid in Draco’s arms. Harry staring us both down, defending Dumbledore. Pinnae flying away in the night to a small home in the Grecian countryside and never looking back. Pinnae falling, falling, falling, flightless. Down from the Astronomy tower and to the cold unforgiving ground below.

A soft unintelligible mumble pulled me away from the free fall down. I was steadied. I was wrapped in comfort. I was draped in soft blankets and warm arms.

“Just a dream,” Draco slurred sleepily, his eyes not opening. “You’re okay,”

I hummed a response and curled back onto his chest, settling back into sleep.

___________________________

“He’s not going to forget her,” Severus huffed, pacing the room. “Y/n will have to prove herself,”

“I know,” Narcissa sighed, sitting beside her husband.

Lucius had not yet woken since he had been healed, and though Narcissa knew that he was not on the verge of death any longer, his health was still failing.

“She’s just a child,” Narcissa insisted hopelessly. “She has no business in all of this,”

“She doesn’t have a choice anymore Narcissa!” Severus declared. “She chose this path. She chose to stand beside Draco, and this is where that road leads!”

Silent tears fell down her cheeks, lost in a memory.

~~

“It’s not safe for you Cissa,” Lucius’ voice was quiet and urgent. “Go now, before it’s too late,” 

“I’m not leaving you,” Her stubbornness might kill her one day, but she wasn’t giving up on him.

“The Dark Lord will kill you, and I can’t lose you my darling,” Lucius stroked her cheek softly, “You’re too important,”

“Then you know why I must stay,” She closed her eyes leaning into his touch. 

“Please,” Lucius begged. “If not for your life, then for Draco’s. He’s just a babe.” 

“This family will stay together,” Tears stung her eyes. “He needs his father as much as he needs his mother,”

“You’re not going to like who his father becomes,” The whisper was barely heard. “Please Cissa,”

She shook her head, tears running down her cheeks and into his hands. 

~~

“She knows that,” Narcissa answered softly. “More than anything she knows the consequences of her choice.”

“And how can you be so sure?” Severus demanded.

“Because she was me,” Her fingers trailed down Lucius’ face gently. “I never thought I’d have to live through another war—to walk through another one with him,” She paused and turned to Severus. “But Y/n knows what she’s doing.”

“Then why are you so adamant on protecting her?” He demanded.

“For the same reason you are,” It could have been an accusation, but it wasn’t. It was sad and soft. Hopeless in a way.

“We can’t protect her in a desperate chance to change the past, Narcissa,” It was just as hopeless. 

“But we can try, can’t we?”

Lucius’ hand was ice cold in hers. His body was still riddled with Dark Magic and his time in Azkaban had not aided it one bit. There used to be an inkling of warmth in his skin, but now, it had vanished.

“You’re welcome to stay,” She offered. “The invitation is always open,”

A quiet beat passed.

“I will.” Severus answered. “He’ll need more looking after. And so will she,” 

“She will make it Severus,” Narcissa pressed as he went to exit the room. 

“That’s what he said about Lily,”

In the morning, Narcissa found you and Draco curled up together in bed, still sound asleep though the hour was becoming closer to afternoon than morning. She didn’t dare to rouse you two. If you could manage to sleep, she’d let you.

When you were finally awake and presentable, both eating in the kitchen, Narcissa could see the determination and uncertainty in your eyes as well as the familiar unease in Draco’s. You two were having the same disagreement that she and Lucius had. Draco no doubt wanted you to hide away, to be safe. And Narcissa knew that leaving was the last thing that you were going to do.

“When do you think he’ll be back?” Your voice was small as you cradled your mug in your hands.

“It’s hard to say,” Severus answered. “Time doesn’t work the same for the Dark Lord. It could be hours; it could be days.”

You nodded and leaned against Draco. It made her heart soar when she watched the two of you together. Draco’s comforting and protective nature that came out for you. And the trust you had in her son. It made Narcissa believe that she might have done something right after all these years to see her son this contented.

“Come,” Narcissa smiled softly, offering her hand to you. “You should learn how to heal Dark Magic,”

Wide-eyed, you followed Narcissa up the stairs, Draco shadowing you both, and into her bedroom where Lucius was still sleeping. Leading you beside the bed, Narcissa drew her wand.

“The easiest is medicari,” She instructed. “It will heal any physical wounds. The deeper the wound the more times you should repeat the spell,” You two nodded softly.

“To cleanse dark magic from the bloodstream or body—expurgatio” Narcissa turned to Lucius and brushed a stray lock of hair from his face as she cast the spell. Under her wand tip drew forth an inky blackness from his chest.

“A lighting charm, my dear,” Narcissa instructed.

You drew your wand and cast the charm, drawing it near to the darkness at the tip of her own wand.

“Dark Magic, after drawn from the body and exposed to light—” you watched as the ink vanished. “—has nothing it can do but run and hide,”

Draco’s face held an air of thought as you remained quiet in thought for a moment. Narcissa could see that you were trying to form your words in such a manner that they made sense, and that they didn’t draw you into a breakdown. Draco’s hand slipped into yours. Your thumb gently traced the scar that ran along the back of his hand.

“Snape...” You began, “He—he used a spell. It sounded like song... when he was healing Draco,”

“The Song of The Lost Soul, yes.” Narcissa sighed softly. “It is not an easy feat to cast such a spell. Whereas many spells are one or a few words, The Song of The Lost Souls requires perfect cadence and pronunciation to be of any aid. If not, it is rendered useless.”

“But if it works?” You asked, curious, hope in your eyes and voice. “It’s one of the most powerful healing spells known to wizards.”

“I want to learn it,” Your determination didn’t surprise Narcissa in the slightest. A smile graced her face at the sight of your eagerness.

“In due time, my dear. For now, why don’t we begin with expurgatio,”

Slowly but surely, with each time you cast the Cleansing spell, your wand gripped more and more of the dark magic that plagued Lucius blood stream. Draco would touch a Lighting charm to the Dark Magic, and it would flee every time. After a while you paused and went quiet.

“I don’t want to have to hurt him,” the confession was soft from your lips. “But if I don’t...” Your eyes met Draco’s a hopeless expression on your face.

“I understand, my love,” Narcissa comforted. “I’ve walked in your shoes before. I know the sacrifices and choices you must face.” She took your hand and smiled softly. “You have a kind soul. A strong soul.” With a soft breath in she continued. “I taught you these spells, not only to aid you in your oncoming battles in this war, but also to let you know that whatever is done, may be undone.”

You processed the words, your eyes growing in realization. “You mean... you want me to...”

“Mother,” Draco’s brows furrowed, surprised himself.

“I don’t will it, no.” She confessed. “But I understand why it must be done. Stars above know the things I was forced to do to gain the respect I have among the Death Eaters...” She looked down at Lucius, “Though I do not think you are aiming for their respect nor should you, I do believe that it will be a comfort to know you won’t be killed.”

“I... I don’t even know if I can,” Your voice broke as your gaze dropped to Draco’s hand in yours. “All I see when I look at him, is you two... and I can’t... I can’t imagine hurting either of you.”

“That is not what the Cruciatus Curse entails, Miss Y/n,” Severus spoke, spooking you a bit as you jumped a bit and Draco’s arm wrapped around you protectively on reflex.

Severus stood from the armchair accompanying the window and neared the bed.

“The Cruciatus Curse was originally meant as a way for a wizard or witch to alleviate all of their anger and frustrations. It was a spell directed at the stars, never at a soul, never at another man. Of course, it became distorted over the year unto what it is now, but I digress,” The tone was familiar to Narcissa, and it seemed to you two as well—a formal teaching tone.

“So... I don’t... I don’t have to hate the person I use the Curse on?” You squeaked, your eyebrows drown in confusion and revelation.

“Not particularly, though it does help.” Severus took a tight breath in. 

“But... in the bathroom... I used it on Harry,”

“And you were scared and angry,” Narcissa comfortingly placed a hand over yours. “All of your frustrations and fears that had been growing over those months were let out on Harry. Not that you loathed him specifically, but he was on the receiving end of your fury.”

____________________________

“So, I can cast the Curse with no intention of wanting to harm the person I’m casting it on?” Disbelief colored my tone. “How is that in any way safe? Or fair?”

“It’s not my dear,” Narcissa replied. “Which is the reason the ancients deemed it Unforgivable.”

“And I think you’ve seen that first-hand,” Snape remarked. “Though he is quite loathsome at times, I don’t truly believe that you hate Potter,”

“Debatable,” I muttered, causing Draco to chuckle beside me.

“You don’t,” Draco murmured in my ear. “Because I know you. You’re too kind,”

“He probably hates me,” My voice was weak and small. “You should have seen his face...” Worrying my lip, Draco pulled me in closer.

“Potter is very hot headed and impulsive,” Snape tried to comfort. “And he has no authority over you either,”

“But he’s the chosen one,” I protested, miserable. “Everyone cares about his opinion and what he thinks,”

“I think you’d find a few flaws in that statement,” A smile barely touched Snape’s lips. “You were quite the leader yourself in school. The students were just as willing to follow you as they were Potter,”

“Me?” I squeaked, my mind reeling. “But I’m just me. I’m not special. I’m not the chosen one. I’m just a bloody Hufflepuff for Merlin’s sake!”

“And that’s what everyone adores about you,” Draco interjected softly. “Though I’d like to go on record saying you’re extraordinarily special,” A smile played at his lips. “But things aren’t handed to you like they are Potter. You never had the advantage, and when you did, you used it to rescue the underdog,”

“Draco is right, the Slytherins are quite fond of you,” Snape’s eyes narrowed. “Sometimes I wonder why you weren’t one,”

“Anything’s better than Slytherin,” I muttered without thinking.

Draco laughed beside me, pressing a kiss to my temple. “There’s my Y/n,” He murmured softly. “I was getting a little worried there,”

The day was spent nursing Lucius back to health as best that Draco and I could. My trial of the Unforgivable forgotten for the moment. And I prayed that it would never come. 

When Lucius’ cold grey eyes opened and landed on me, fear gripped my heart. But it was in vain. His hand reached out and covered mine as he nodded once, before closing his eyes once more in rest. Amity fell between us, knowing that there was forgiveness somewhere in my heart for him. Maybe it was a forgiveness that mirrored in Draco’s eyes as I sought him for reassurance.

“Happy birthday, love,” I whispered softly as the hour passed midnight as the two of us stared up at the stars.

“Don’t remind me,” He grumbled, causing me to laugh softly.

“And why not?” I mused, raising an eyebrow at him. “It’s not every day that you turn seventeen,”

“But you really wanna talk about it now?” He dismayed. “It’s not worth celebrating,”

“Look around Draco,” I pressed. “Look at how lucky we are to be alive right now,” Tears stung my eyes as I took his hand holding it tightly. “It’s more than enough to celebrate,”

He hung his head, closing his eyes, his shoulders rising with the deep breath that he took. Laying my head on his shoulder, I pressed to his side.

“It is enough,” He whispered softly, pulling me into his arms. “It’s more than enough,” His weak smile mirrored mine.

Draco’s hands came up and cupped my face softly, pulling me in for a calming kiss, sealing that us being alive was enough. That I was enough. That he was enough. That the quiet night with the fireflies and the stars watching over us was enough.

A letter came for me the next day from Prof—Lupin requesting me at the next Order meeting being held at Fleur and Bill’s cottage on the seaside not far from the Manor that night. The four of us debated whether or not it would be safe for me to go alone, knowing that I would be the only one allowed. And though Draco was hesitant, he urged me to go. A sadness lingered in Snape’s eyes at well, but he agreed. It was only Narcissa who had a qualm.

“They can track her Apparition,” She reasoned gently. “We need to keep the Order safe...” Her eyes met Snape’s, and something passed between them.

“I’ll fly,” I offered off hand. “No one will know that it’s me, and if they think I’m flying, then no one will be able to find me,”

“I’m not sure I follow,” Snape’s monotone voice seemed uninterested, but I could see that the questions burning behind his eyes.

“And that’s how it’ll have to be,” Draco took my hand, “Are you sure you can make the trip on your own?”

“You’re not coming with me, then we’ll be found,” I refuted the hope in his eyes. “I’ll have to go alone,”

And what Snape didn’t see was a white and bronze barn owl taking off toward the sunset, on her way to an Order meeting.

...............

“Lupin?” I gasped out, steadying myself from my transformation.

“Sirius said that you were able to do that... didn’t give much away thought,” Lupin mentioned offhand, almost talking to himself. “What took you so long?”

“Long flight,” I muttered, leaning against the door jamb of the little house. “They can track Apparition. At least mine, I guess.”

“Really?” He seemed surprised.

I nodded and fidgeted with my sweater. “They all hate me, don’t they?”

“It’s quite divided actually,” A smile ghosted at his lips. “Those of us who know you, we don’t, but those who got the story from Harry on the other hand...”

I groaned in defeat and rubbed my face. Then I held my head high and nodded. 

“Alright,” I concluded, “I’m not afraid to face the consequences of my actions.” 

Lupin smiled warmly. “I can see why Sirius liked you.”

“You miss him,”

“Yes,” He paused then continued. “But there is more to life. I’m sure you understand that,”

“Yeah,” I whispered. “Do you think he would have been proud of me? My dad?” I was almost too afraid to ask.

“More than you could ever know,” Lupin appeased. “In fact, that’s why a lot of us are so divided about what to do with you, because your father was in the same situation with your mother,”

“My mother wasn’t a Death Eater,” I muttered. “That complicates things doesn’t it?”

Lupin stared at me like I had two heads. “Y/n, your mother is a Death Eater. Or she was in the first war.”

I froze. My eyes going wide. There must have been true panic or horror on my face because Lupin neared me, placing his hands on my shoulders.

“Y/n, breathe,” Lupin instructed. “I thought you knew,” A soft shake of my head declined his statement.

“Well, that changes things a bit...” Lupin muttered. “We need to talk to Moody,”

“Will you—give me a minute...” I squeaked out, sinking into a kitchen chair. I hung my head in my hands, wishing nothing more to find comfort in Draco’s arms. He would know what to do. He would know what to say.

“What is she doing here?” A snarled voice asked.

Lupin’s arm shot out, holding me back from going off on Harry. Or maybe he was protecting me from Harry. I didn’t know. I wasn’t paying attention. I was too shellshocked.

“She is a part of the Order,” Lupin defended sternly. “She has a rightful place here,”

“So, we’re going to ignore the fact that she aided the murder of Dumbledore!?” Harry shouted.

Silence fell. 

“No,” I whispered softly. “I helped kill Dumbledore,” My voice was soft and broken and obviously not what Harry was expecting. “I helped kill Dumbledore. I’m in love with a Death Eater. I’m the daughter of a Death Eater. I’m the daughter of a member of the Order of the Phoenix. I’m the child of a Slytherin and a Hufflepuff. My father’s dead and my mother’s gone.”

I spoke mainly to myself, but loud enough for everyone else to hear. “And I know that,” My eyes met Harry’s. “So, what are you going to do about it? Berate me? Scream how I don’t belong here? How massively fucked up my life is? Is that what you’re here to tell me?” My voice stayed soft and calm. “Because believe me, I already know,”

My words sapped all of the anger from Harry and caught the attention of the other members of the Order as they filed into the small kitchen. “It’s not about what I am, or where I come from, or who my parents are. It’s what I’m going to do from here on out and what I’ve been trying to do all along.” Again, I met stubborn green eyes. “I’m going to save Draco Malfoy. I’m going to fight for good. And I’m not going to let anyone, or anything stop me,”

There was something I realized about Harry in that moment where we differed immensely. He had no restraint and he never hesitated. He was hot headed and made rash decisions. He took everything that was offered to him and then some. The game he plays he takes and raises stakes without anyone else’s consent. He had an endless uphill just as I did. He had something to prove and almost nothing to lose.

I had everything to lose. Everything that I fought to keep. Everything that I fought to have. If he could thrive in the middle of the struggle, then I’d wait for my time to thrive.

I was willing to wait for it. 

________________________________

“You think I don’t know what I’m doing!?” He roared, near tears. Remus placed a hand on his shoulder and Sirius held James back. “What would you do for Lily, Potter?” He straightened, shaking off Remus.

“My wife isn’t on the wrong side of the war!” James spat.

“It’s easy to love those who love you isn’t it? It’s easy to love the good, isn’t it Potter!?” The words held ice shards. “You think you’d understand. You’re a father as much as I am in this hell, you think I don’t want what’s best for my family!? What will keep them alive!?”

“Boys!” McGonagall shouted reprimanding them. “You two are acting like children. We are on the same side of the war here and unless we work together, we’re not going to survive.” Her stern look silenced them both.

“Walt,” Alice reached out as he went to leave, shifting a small bundle of sleeping blankets in her arms, “Please, we do want you here,” Frank came up behind her, reaching out for him.

“She’s right, Walt.” Frank affirmed. “You deserve your place here with the rest of us,”

“Thank you,” He nodded. “But I need to get home to Elizabeth and hope Y/n hasn’t been giving her too much trouble,” The fire had left from his voice and weariness remained.

The Longbottom’s nodded as he set out into the night, apperating back home. The small farmhouse in the outskirts of town welcomed him home more than any consoling word from the Order ever could. He knew that the two people he loved more than anything in the world were inside that farmhouse. The two people who never questioned him or denied his loyalty.

“Walt?” Elizabeth’s voice chimed up from the nursery.

“Yes, it’s me,” Maybe he didn’t hide his weariness well enough because a soft concerned look was on her face as she met him in the hallway.

“Maybe her and I should...” Elizabeth trailed off. “You wouldn’t have to...”

“You think I’d walk out on you? On our darling girl?” Walter shook his head and pulled his bride into his arms, tucking her head under his chin. “You two are worth more than a war,”

“I love you,” Her voice was broken as she clung to him, unshed tears in both of their eyes.

The soft cry of a babe broke their moment. Walter neared the crib to see a little pouting face start to snivel.

“Oh, now what is the matter?” He cooed softly gathering the child into his arms. “I’m right here sweetheart,”

Rocking her softly, her cries quieted, and large innocent eyes stared up at him. It was those eyes that made everything that James said, or Sirius muttered worth it. Those deep and trusting eyes that held wonder and love in their naivete.

Elizabeth placed a soft hand on his shoulder, and he turned, for the first time seeing the exhaustion on her face. He knew that no matter how harsh James was or how many times he came home feeling defeated, his love had a harder battle to fight. One that wasn’t built on love, and trust, and goodness. But wickedness, cruelty, and evil. He loathed having to see her bare that burden on her shoulders.

“I’ll put her down for the night,” He whispered softly. “You go on to bed. I’ll be there in a moment,”

Alone with his child in a quiet room on a peaceful night, he began to hum softly. He sang of sunshine and happiness in the midst of grey stormy days. When he looked into those eyes he knew for sure that no amount of Dark Magic would affect her soul that was laid bare in her gaze.

And her eyes went from wonder and awe to peace and slumber. Placed in her crib and warded by protection spells and charms and talisman, he headed to his Elizabeth.

She was combing through her long hair, sitting at the mirror in the bathroom. He came up behind her and rubbed her shoulders softly, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head.

“How are you feeling?” He murmured softly.

“A little drained, but since having Y/n, and because Narcissa has her little Draco now, they seem very adamant to protect the two of us... you should see Severus stand up against him. He knows that Narcissa and I shouldn’t be doing Dark Magic... then Regulus backs him up and...” She went quiet, lost in the memory.

Curled up in bed, an amity fell over the house.

“Narcissa’s little Draco is just a darling,” Elizabeth spoke softly, curled up into his arms in bed. He could smell the florals and spice of her shampoo linger still in her long damp hair. “Such bright blue eyes. Just turned three months today,”

The days were gentle and calm, though fear came at the on every side. Some nights Walter would be left alone with his little girl, sometimes Elizabeth would. It depended on who had a meeting and where it was safe for their baby girl. And despite her kind nature, even barely a year old, there was worry underneath about what would become of her. It was new generation of Dark Magic, and branding. Two babes had been born from a parent with a Dark Mark, only little Y/n grew inside her mother who was riddled with Dark Magic. The other nurtured by a mother loyal to family.

The tiny babe wrapped in a soft pink knitted blanket had been cradled in Walter’s arms as the next Order meeting went on. Not that he paid much attention. His attention was divided between the warmth his darling offered, rocking her so that she stayed quiet, and then he gave half a mind to Dumbledore speaking about the Dark Lord. And in focusing on his babe, his mind wandered back to the innocence of his own childhood, of meeting his beloved Elizabeth.

~~

She was draped in flowing green, looking as if she belonged in some high-end party, not a dance for grade school. It made his heart skip a beat when his eyes caught hers. Those eyes that held mystery and passion that he adored. They held secret study sessions in the library and elusive nights in the Astronomy Tower, desperate to keep their love a secret from their Houses and the other students.

“Go and talk to her,” Lily nudged his arm.

“You know why I can’t,” Walt sighed. “She’s a Slytherin,”

“Not all Slytherins are so bad...” Lily argued softly. “There’s hope for her too. For both of you,” 

“You really think?” There was hope in his voice.

“Trust me,” Lily smiled, placing a hand on his shoulder. “She’ll love you being you.” Her eyes drifted to the crowd, finding a face that meant nothing to him but everything to her. “Go before you miss your chance. You’ve waited for her long enough,”

He heeded her words and made his way across the grand hall that was dressed for the holidays. She was standing with the Black sisters, two of which moved from his way, and one blocked him.

“What’s an ickle Hufflepuff doing here?” Bellatrix cackled. “You’re not wanted little badger,”

“Bellatrix,” Walter greeted politely. “I’m not here to entertain you, but rather ask for Miss Elizabeth to dance,”

The sisters turned to their honorary sister of House. Her cheeks flushed pink, but there was hope and joy shown in her eyes as she took his outstretched hand.

“Are you sure about this?” She whispered under her breath as he led to her to the dance floor.

“I’ve waited too long to show the rest of the world that I love you,” He affirmed, holding her close as the next waltz began.

Though he knew all eyes were on him and his love, he paid them no mind. Instead he focused on the scent of perfume that was mirrored in Amortentia. He focused on the sound of her pretty laugh and the way she threw her head back in joy. And more than anything he focused on those eyes that held his entire world.

~~

“How long have you known?” Walter asked softly, stroking Elizabeth’s cheek.

“About a month,” She smiled, her hand cradling her stomach.

“Why didn’t you tell me? I would have come home,” There were tears in his eyes.

“I wrote to Dumbledore, but I know you my love, you’ll fight until this war is over,” Tear fell down her cheeks softly. “I’m not sorry,”

“Neither am I,” Walter let out a hopeless laugh as his tears fell, holding his bride close. “How are we supposed to raise a child—”

“Just stay alive, that would be enough,” Elizabeth wrapped her arms around him. “And if this child has a fraction of your smile... of your heart... that would be enough,”

“If they had a fragment of your mind... look out world,” Walter smiled, pressing his lips to her forehead. “That would be enough,”

~~

“Walter?” Frank drew him from his thoughts, from the eyes of his baby girl. Alice mirrored his stance, a smaller bundle of blankets cradled in her arms.

“Will you be our Secret Keeper?” Frank asked with a solemn tone. We need to hide, we need to keep Neville safe,”

Walter nodded; determination mirrored in both father’s eyes. 

________________________

~

My Dearest Andromeda,

I hope that this letter finds you well, and I hope that you will give me the time to read it. I have much to tell you and much to ask that I know I am not allowed nor owed, but I beg of you anyway.

I know that your daughter is now married to Remus Lupin, and to which I congratulate the union. I know that Lupin will be good to her. But that is not why I have written.

My Draco and Y/n are now in very deep with the Death Eaters and I fear for them as I feared for our lives through the first war. And perhaps you understand because you managed to erase yourself from our family and flourished regardless. And for that I apologize and esteem you for.

You remember as well as I do how much our Elizabeth loved Walter, and now by some miracle, their child has been placed in my care after Elizabeth carried out her orders from the Dark Lord to keep her Y/n safe from him. She writes to me even still, asking about her child and is comforted by my words of her success and prosperity, knowing that she can never come back to her daughter while the Dark Lord is alive.

Which is why I beg of you to offer a place for dear Y/n to come and stay. I have offered my home, but the Dark Lord has demanded that the Manor be the base for his Death Eaters, and I cannot allow Y/n to be drawn under such an influence. She is good and I know it in my heart, and you can see it in her eyes, but I fear greatly as to what should occur if the Dark Lord manipulates her any further. She is powerful and has potential and power for great good and evil.

Please dear Andromeda, for the sake of Walter and Elizabeth and the second chance that they both gave the three of us. For their child who was marked from birth as was mine.

Your sister,

Cissy

~ 

______________________________ 

~

Narcissa,

Remus and Nymphadora have told me much about Y/n and the fire she possess in her heart just as her parents did. I have fallen in love with a girl I have not met yet and still I feel as if I am responsible for her as I am for my own Nymphadora.

With a heavy heart I mourn the years lost between us, but I can rejoice that the legacy of Walter and Elizabeth change and alter your heart even still. My heart goes out to Elizabeth as it goes to her daughter, as it goes to you and your son.

She is welcome in my home while school is not in season for her. She will be safe and protected here from the Dark Lord and his claws. I have no doubt that Bellatrix is also a reason for fear in your heart as much as the Dark Lord is. I pray that you come to see the light, and though I know there is barely a hope, I pray that for Bellatrix as well.

Send her at first light my dear Narcissa, 

Your sister,

Andy

~

____________________________

“I have another aunt?” Draco asked.

“Yes,” Narcissa sighed softly. “She was disowned by our parents because she was a blood- traitor, much as Sirius Black was.” A quiet moment. “You also have a cousin, Nymphadora Tonks,”

“Tonks is his cousin!?” I gaped. “Hufflepuff, Auror, Metamorphmagus, Tonks?”

“Yes,” Narcissa nodded, a smile playing at her lips. “It seems that you two have quite a bit in common now that I think about it,”

“And...she’ll be safe there?” Draco asked hesitantly, taking my hand.

“She’ll have a home while she isn’t at Hogwarts,” His mother affirmed. “Now that your father is feeling better and the Dark Lord has decided to make the Manor his headquarters. There may also be a chance that she can escape her fate with Lucius...”

“I can’t stay,” I murmured the realization.

“No, I’m afraid not, but not for the main reason you think my dear,” Narcissa consoled, piquing my interest. Draco and I exchanged a glance and turned back to her. “Whether you knew it or not, you and Draco and connected, since you were born,”

“I’m sorry, what?” We both demanded, looking at each other once more.

“It is quite amusing how fate played out, having you two come together like this but... yes. During the first war there were two babes born with parents holding the Dark Mark that survived. One was paternal, one maternal.” She gauged our reaction.

“But...that doesn’t mean anything... does it?” I asked timid.

“No one knew and no one still knows. It simply means that you two were both destined for something beyond the ordinary,”

“If... we were both born marked,” Draco spoke like he would while walking through a complex spell or potion. “And I have the Dark Mark... wouldn’t that mean that she’s marked for it as well? That fate...” He trailed off, his grey eyes holding fear and discomfort.

“I’m fated for the Dark Mark,” I understood what he couldn’t bring himself to say. “And if I stay here...”

“Your fate would be sealed,” Narcissa sighed softly. “Which is why I need you to go to my sister, and stay away so that you might avoid this,”

I nodded and took Draco’s hand in mine

“I love you,” I whispered softly, just for him. “And I’m not afraid. I know who I chose,” 

“As long as you come back to me,” He nodded.

Wrapped up tightly into his arms, I breathed in deeply, the last time I would be comforted by his arms until September. The beginning of the first chapter I had to write on my own until I found my way back to him.

Epilogue:

“Thank you, for your hospitality,” My voice held a soft tone, already missing Draco’s warmth. 

“Of course, my dear,” Andromeda smiled. “Come,”

She showed me to a spare room that I assumed used to be Tonks’ because even cleaned up, I could see the chaos of her style linger still.

And though I thought I’d never make it through a night alone, let alone three months, somehow, they passed. Like the slow ticking of a clock that didn’t bother to mock me. Instead there was something reminiscent about the summer. Of writing letters to Draco and waiting for his to arrive. To be in a small home filled with happy memories and warmth of muggle books and films and music. It left me in tears more than I cared to admit, because it was something that I never thought would be mine again.

Something I didn’t know that I was waiting for, nor longing for.

Something that made three months seems like mere months, not an eternity waiting.

.

Chapter 12

.

masterlist

.

more like this:

gryffindor series

hufflepuff dating hc

.

support a college writer

.

Tags: @coffee-addicti @msmcsmutt @ravn-87@artemismohr18@whygz @crazywritingbug @fuzzy-panda@bitemebro522@zombiesnips-blog@savingdraco@welcometomyworldwithoutrules @akari180@slytherin-emerald@memalfoy-spidey @queenfeatherwings@fanficflaneuse @go-whovian-universe @spicyshenanigans@darling-im-not-okay-i-promise  @dietkiwi @katsukink@takemetothekingdom @strangerr-things @tmnt-queen@hxneybgb @justsomerandomgur@belcvayelena@moviesbooksandfandoms @howdycharlie@cocochanelthepupper@ninacotte @braelynn-j  @jiggllyy @darcypotter-blog @atomicpunkrock @thiccheerioss @lottie289  @beautiful-pegasus @tceedlmao @deadlynyghtshayde @iconjuresnapeingrandmaclothes   @anonymous034 @bi-andready-tocry @lunna-does-real-doodle @dragonsandbread @okaydraco @the-queen-of-hell-things @cmxreader @alienmotel @oh-itsnothing @sunflowerxsadnessw @fattycooter    @thisisahugemistake @fanficsigottaread @gweaslvy @strawberriesonsummer @gaysludge @cleopatera @ray-of-sunrise @artist-bby  @shadowsingeraxolotl   @quillsareforwriting @ghostlytoadalmondhairdo @wollymalfoy @lilpieceoftoast  @paper-cats @floweryjh @sdicapriox @peachesandpinks @hufflautia @livize75 @annie-mcl @riathearora @live-like-luna @justathoughtfulangel @coconutdawn @skteaiy @wannabeskinny-thinspo @naughtygranger @dragonsandbread   @abundantxadorations @moony-artnstuff @myforeveryoungblog @and-then-a-girl-with-luv @1-800-luvsick @pandas-rice-field @mrvlfangirl3190 @in-slytherin-we-trust @emmaa-t @introvertedrae @infinity1o1 @stoleurmomsvan @echpr  @dekulover @marshmallowtraver @cereuselle @lonely-skywalker @xlosttdreamss @sleepysnapesnake @hoeforthefictional @coldlilheart @helen-paris @romance-geek @rosie-starlit-sky @californiaa-babyy @vulture-withafile @hogstupefy @littlepanda-love @eveft @iraniq @groovyfluxie @cool-weirdo-wannabee-author @siriusblackdies @rosegold-thorns @criminaly-supernatural @annie-mcl @ghostofdolans @bforbroadway @mxl-foyrecs @ginger-haired-queen @bex4whovian @kellyrose193 @scrunchinn @unlikelygalaxygiver @marvel-trash-was-taken @one-edgy-bitch @supersouthy @narcissism-iskey @garbagejay @rejectedlonelyasianchild @lucymxwell @coldlilheart @cha0ticbisexual @elia-the-bibliophile @biggalaxydreamland @fuckbuckyyy @hopem1218 @anchorclifford @youareinllve @tyrusparker @3rdofkingdomtrees @whamitsqueen @i-mmunity@zero-nightshade @graym01 @fandomtrash88 @snakey-drakey @ceeellewrites @alluringshawn @thatguppienamedbae @pinkleopardss @angel-blogging @xhoney-bee-x @thehippyprepster @jovialthings @samanthahaigwood @minigigglybabi @clumsy-writing-rdb @eggsb03 @lahoete @yourenotafailureoverall @m-winchester-67​ @shiningstar-byulxx​ @hmpfkoo​ @clumsy-writing-rdb​ @dracosathenaeum​ @dracofeltonmalfoy​

[writing-red]

The Emerald Manor | 5

Draco Malfoy x Reader

Summary: It’s their sixth year, Draco and the reader are placed in an arranged marriage by their pureblood families, expected to follow through they navigate their feelings for each other amongst the many other social pressures at Hogwarts.

Warnings: major themes of physical and verbal abuse, maternal body shaming, nasty parents, mommy issues, daddy issues, jokes about suicide, I may even be missing some things

Word Count: 11k

A/N: self care is important if these warnings may trigger you please consider that chapter carries heavy themes, take care of your brain <3 also this is the longest thing I’ve ever written, she’s a beast

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

‘You and Draco shall be traveling from Hogwarts directly to Malfoy Manor. Since you will be meeting his parents before you see your father and I, I demand that you look presentable and remember the manners I’ve taught you. Your father and I will meet you at Malfoy Manor the night you return from school for dinner. As you will be staying with the Malfoy’s for the entirety of the Holiday, I will pack and send the clothing I find suitable for you to wear throughout this visit.’

The words from your mother’s letter rang in your head as the train pulled into London. As much as you hated everything she was putting you through for the sake of blood purity and her social status, you did not wish to incur her wrath. 

As you stepped off of the Hogwarts express and onto platform 9 3/4 on Draco Malfoy’s arm, you looked the part of the picture-perfect pureblood pairing. You were both matching in all black, your Gryffindor tie, and Gryffindor friends nowhere to be seen. If your mother were to see you, you could swear she would shed a tear. You were finally the young lady she had been grooming you to be since birth.

Draco led you out of King Cross Station to where a large black driverless carriage awaited both of you. Everything about the situation made you want to vomit off of the sidewalk and onto the street, but you took Draco’s arm as he helped you up the step and into the carriage. As hard as it was to admit it, you knew that Draco would be the safest person in your world for the next couple of weeks, and you would have to cling to that as hard as possible. You sat right next to him in the carriage, refusing to let go of his arm. You held his hand tightly in yours, reaching for any sense of security you could scavenge.

Draco knew you were afraid and that you would rather die than admit that to him, so instead of teasing or chiding you for it, he didn’t bother when you chose to sit next to him or when you refused to let go of him. He took the opportunity to make you feel safe. It’s all he’s really wanted to do anyway.

You had been to Malfoy Manor before, but it had been a while, every family takes turns hosting society events, and you were only ten the last time you attended one at the Malfoy’s. That had been the first year your mother had forced you into a corset, and that was about all you could remember about their estate. But when you rolled up to the gate, you wondered exactly how you could forget the lavish mansion. It was cold, looming, and dark, as was yours, the sharp wrought iron gates refusing entrance to anyone who didn’t make the cut. The stark white peacocks that stalked along the border of the estate offered more of a threat than any romantic reminder of nature, their cold eyes bored into as if to remind you that you would never fit in here.

Draco could feel anxiety rolling off of you as the carriage approached the manor, and he wanted with everything in him to cure it.

“Y/n,” he said in a whisper tone even though you were out of earshot from anyone who could be listening. “I know I haven’t been the best in the last month, but please know that I do care about you.” He could sense your disbelief. “I know you don’t believe me, I know that I haven’t given you a reason to, and I know that this doesn’t feel like the time. I’m sorry I don’t know how to say this. But, I am here for you through this. Please let me be.”

You knew that now wasn’t the time for an argument, that it wasn’t the time to ask why he hadn’t said this before you were walking in the doors of his house and not that morning in the courtyard when you had bared your heart to him, and he had ignored you, but as you were thinking, he interrupted you.

“Just nod, please, just show me that you understand,” he said, his tone desperate for some reason you couldn’t identify.

You nodded, maybe to placate him, or maybe, perhaps because this time you had heard him, even if it was just a little, it was enough to plant the prospect of trust.

“Alright,” he said and exited the dark, ornate carriage, offering his hand to you when he had landed on the ground.

You took his hand, more for emotional stability than physical. “Thank you, Draco,” you whispered into his ear, for his hand or his words from just moments ago, neither of you was sure.

Narcissa had been waiting for you outside of the entrance to the manor. She was clearly eager to see you and to see her son home from school.

“Mother!” Draco greeted, what seemed to be a genuine smile graced his face for just a moment. Narcissa took him in his arms and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek. It was the briefest of interactions, but you could tell that she cared deeply for her son. “I know you have met her before, but this is Y/n, Y/l/n.”

“Yes,” her voice was kind and utterly elegant. “Darling, I haven’t seen you in years, you have grown into such a stunning young woman. Welcome back to our home.” Narcissa opened up her arms, and you welcomed the embrace, not remembering the last time you had received one from your own mother. You reveled in the short interaction even after she released you. “I am truly delighted to have you. And your mother sent your things yesterday, they are in your room.”

“Thank you for having me, Lady Malfoy. It is an honor to be invited into your home,” you said, speaking the words your mother had instructed you to say before.

“Please, call me Narcissa, there is no need for titles between us. And we are happy to have you,” she said, her features softening for a moment. “Now, come inside. I can’t risk you and Draco getting sick before the Holiday has even begun.” 

You followed Draco and Narcissa inside through the grand doors. The room was filled by cold light flowing in through the grand windows framed by black curtains, most of the stone floor was covered by an ornate rug, and there were two black stairways curving to the same location of the second floor, which from its spot far above you provided its own dark mystery. The manor was anything besides inviting, even the silver and green Christmas decorations were distressing in their coldness.

“We will be meeting down here for drinks at 7 tonight,” Narcissa informed you and Draco. “Y/n, that’s when your parents will be arriving. So Draco dear, why don’t you show Y/n up to the room across from yours, and you two can clean up before dinner.”

Draco nodded and gestured for you to take his arm again. As you did, you turned to thank Narcissa once more. “Thank you again, ma’am.”

She cut you off before you could finish, “Narcissa dear, please, I won’t have you calling me Lady, ma’am, or anything of the sort.”

You nodded and smiled, “thank you, Narcissa.”

Draco led you up the set of stairs to the right side of the entrance and down a dark hallway lit only by the occasional candelabra. It reminded you much of your own house, a dark museum dedicated entirely to your family’s great pureblood history. Draco showed you to a black door at the end of the hallway, across from another black door and near the only window in the corridor.

“Well, this is your room,” he said, gesturing to the door he had shown you to. “Apparently, you’re across from me,” he said, referencing the door not three feet away from you.

“I’m sure there’s some sort of underlying meaning there,” you said, trying to lighten the tension.

A smile graced Draco’s lips for just a moment before falling back into its usual stone near-scowl.

“I have to admit that I’m glad you’re close-by,” you said, so quiet he could barely hear you, quietly enough it was as if you weren’t even admitting it.

Draco hid the joy that bubbled in his heart when you muttered those words. “Well, I’ll leave you to get ready for dinner. We should head back downstairs at five-till.” He advised, and you nodded before he disappeared into his room, the door closing behind him.

The room was more comfortable than you had imagined it to be, even more, comfortable than the one you had at home. The walls were covered in green tapestries depicting nature, a black fireplace with a fire roaring inside rested against the wall across from the four-post bed that had what looked like the softest comforter in the world and a plush bench residing at its foot. On the floor beneath your feet was a perfectly soft grey carpet that laid over dark wooden floors. On the wall that housed the fireplace stood another black door that was open and led to an intricate bathroom, inside of which was a closet. But what took your breath away was the wall covered in bookshelves and a vast collection of stunning books. You could even spy a few muggle authors, which surprised you. 

If you could spend the entire Holiday in this room and not leave once, you would be content, although, as that sadly would not be your reality, you hauled yourself into the bathroom for a quick shower. You still felt sick to your stomach with nerves, and you were hoping that hot water would soothe you even just a bit. You didn’t spend long under the running water, nervous about the time, departing out of the shower, drying yourself, and stepping into the closet, you found a dark emerald green dress labeled ‘dinner, night one’ in your mother’s script, of course, she didn’t even trust you to pick out your own clothing. You drew the dress onto your body, holding your wand in your teeth as you willed magic to help you lace up the corset the way you knew your mother would expect it to look. You used the same guide for your hair and makeup, everything exactly as she would want, even though you were sure that you would find some way to fuck it up.

Just as you finished, you heard a soft knock land on your door. You opened the door to Draco, who was wearing a variation of the black suit you so often found him in, although you couldn’t help but notice how incredibly handsome he looked in it. And part of you didn’t want to stop staring at him. Part of you wanted to skip dinner and pull Draco into your room by his tie.

“Y/n, you look lovely,” he said kindly. “Emerald is a stunning color on you.”

“Thank you, Draco,” you said, a bit of blush rising to your cheeks. “You are quite handsome yourself.” 

“Are you ready?” He asked.

“Will I ever be?” You said.

He didn’t have to verbally respond for you to know that he understood. He just offered your hand, led you back down the long dark hallway and down the stairs, which seemed steeper now that you were wearing heels. But Draco’s steady hand assured that you were ascending the stairs gracefully. You let out the breath you weren’t aware you had been holding in when you realized you had beat your parents to the first part of the evening. You could only imagine the lecture on tardiness your mother would be ready to deliver had you arrived after her.

“Darling, you somehow look even more beautiful than you did earlier,” Narcissa said when she caught sight of you. “Draco, did you tell your fiancée how lovely she looks this evening?” Narcissa asked, glancing at her son.

“It was the first thing I heard once I stepped out of my room,” you assured her, your cheeks reddening even more at the sound of her compliment.

“Good,” she said and smiled.

Impeccable timing as always your mother and father appeared in the Malfoy’s grand fireplace, your Mother and Father had clearly not spent a second thinking of anything but these two weeks for some time, they were both dressed perfectly for the event at hand, their sour faces completing their outfits.

“Layah, William,” Narcissa greeted them as old friends, which of course they were, your mother had been friends with Narcissa and Bellatrix back in their Hogwarts days, and your father was on many of the same boards as Lucius.

“Narcissa, thank you so much for having us and for inviting our daughter into your home,” your mother said, false kindness wrapping around her voice like a snake. “I hope she’s remembered her manners,” she shot you a glare, causing anxiety to roar in your stomach.

“Merlin, Layah, you’ve raised the perfect daughter! She’s been nothing but kind and pleasant since she arrived,” Narcissa assured her friend, not catching the look Layah had sent you. “This is my son Draco,” she gestured to Draco who was next to you, just across from her.

“Lord Y/l/n, Lady Y/l/n, it’s an honor to meet you again,” he said as he politely bowed his head now.

 “Come now, let us start with drinks in the sitting room,” She said, showing the party into a somewhat smaller sitting room. The room was covered in silver, art, and luxurious furniture you were sure came from the 18th century, which was arranged perfectly for conversation. You found yourself sitting on a love seat with Draco on Narcissa's instruction, which didn’t surprise you much.

A house-elf came in and began handing out drinks as the conversation started, mostly between your mother and Narcissa, Draco, and your father. You didn’t mind being ignored. You simply held your glass tightly and tried to not be sick.

“So, Y/n, Draco tells me you’re a wonder at potions!” Narcissa said, startling you a bit as you weren't expecting to be drawn into the conversation.

“Well, Professor Snape has been a fantastic teacher, and I really spend most of my time at school studying anyways,” You could only think that if you were at the Burrow, Fred and George would be cackling at the lies you were boasting. You were more likely to spend time running around getting into trouble than study.

“She really just is modest, Mother,” Draco said. “She’s the reason I have such good marks in the class this term.”

You smiled sweetly, unsure otherwise of how to respond. It didn't help that you and Draco knew that Hermione was undoubtedly the best in your year, but that wasn't the point here.

“Darling, don’t sell yourself short. Coming from a family like yours, I am sure you are an incredible witch,” Narcissa said.

“Thank you, ma’am,” you said and gave her a respectful bow of your head, intent on displaying the manners you had been taught and that were expected of you.

“Now, Draco, I am curious what you wish to do once you leave Hogwarts,” Your father interjected. You could only presume that he was uncomfortable with the compliments being offered to you.

The conversation continued on, you remained mostly ignored, and as your drink refilled itself a second time, you found yourself feeling a bit more at ease. While you weren’t aiming to get drunk, you were trying to rid yourself of those pesky nerves eating at your stomach. As you calmed yourself, the house-elf returned to call the party to dinner. You silently reminded yourself to get her name when you could. You were sure she experienced nothing but cruelty here.

As you rose from the love seat, you were sure to remember all of the perfect ladylike manners your mother had been sure to instill in you. Taking Draco’s hand when he offered it and leaving your glass on its coaster, you would most likely be having wine with the meal, and it would be considered rude to bring along a dirty glass. You knew that you would never forget these stupid little societal rules no matter what happened with your life. You sat at the incredibly made-up dining table next to Draco, which you knew was intended to encourage you two to make conversation. After everyone was seated, conversation resumed, but it wasn’t until the second course arrived that your mother finally mentioned the wedding.

“Narcissa, I do believe you’ve landed on a date for this summer?” Layah asked.

“Yes, I thought that the 22nd of June would be lovely seeing that it’s the longest day of the year,” Narcissa said. “Y/n, what do you think?”

“That sounds perfect,” you agreed. Of course, nothing about this wedding was perfect, but you knew better than to oppose. “Summer is my favorite season, and the Summer Solstice has always been special to me.” What you were saying was true. You had always loved the heat, joy, and magic of the day.

“Lovely, we’ll work on getting out the necessary notifications this week,” Narcissa said, and you nodded.

“You two have made quite the match,” your father said to Layah and Narcissa. Of course, he would approve of Draco, he was everything William wished his son had been. “Y/n, I hope you realize how lucky you are.”

Underneath the table, you clenched your nails into your palm, breaking the skin on your hand as you tried to brush off your father's remark.

“I’m glad you approve, sir,” Draco said, dismissing his second statement.

Dinner continued on, snide remarks occasionally coming from your mother after you would speak, and constant praise to Draco from your father. However, Draco and Narcissa acted as a barrier of sorts from your parent's attacks, which made the whole thing just a little bit more bearable. When dinner ended, Draco and your father left to smoke, which was expected, and Narcissa invited you and your mother back to the sitting room for tea.

“Y/n, Layah, I was wondering what you were thinking for Y/n’s dress,” Narcissa asked as you sat back down on the loveseat.

“I did not have anything in mind,” your mother said.

“Well, my family has a very old tradition where the mother passes her dress down to her daughter,” Narcissa started.

“Oh, Narcissa, I’m sorry to say I don’t have my dress any longer.”

“See, the thing is I still have mine, which had, of course, belonged to my mother, her mother, and so on, and since I don’t have a daughter, I was wondering if you would like to wear it Y/n?” said Narcissa, sure to direct the question away from your mother and towards you.

“Narcissa, I would be honored!” You chirped, your face lighting just a bit with a genuine smile, the motherly love she had extended to you in the last seven hours was more than you had experienced in your life, and you would be happy to have a piece of her with you in the ceremony.

“Dear, I doubt it will fit,” your mother said to you, that evil faux smile on her lips.

“I’m sure it will!” Narcissa said, her excitement shining through her smile. “Anyways, isn’t that what magic is for, Layah?”

“Sure, Narcissa,” your mother drawled as she shot her friend one of those cold snake-like smiles. “Narcissa, would you mind if I stepped out with my daughter for a second?”

“No! Of course, I forgot you haven't seen her in so long, please stay here. I’ll go check in on the gentlemen,” she said and left swiftly. 

You wanted to beg her to stay. You wanted to scream and cry and demand that she not leave you alone with your mother, but that would only end you in more trouble than you could possibly be in now.

“Merlin, Y/n, you’ve put on weight. Are you not exercising at school? Just because you’re betrothed doesn’t mean you stop taking care of yourself, foolish girl,” she said the second Narcissa was out of earshot.

“Sorry, mother,” you cast your eyes to the floor.

Your mother rose from her seat, she’s a tall woman with harsh features, and she loomed over you when she made her way over to the love seat. 

“Stand,” she said, and you did so instantly and with grace. “I’ve been told that you’ve been acting decently for once in your pathetic life,” the witch said as she inspected you, from the way you tied your corset to the curls in your hair, you kept your eyes on the floor, staring at the tips of your shoes. Suddenly she grabbed your chin with as much force as you believe she possessed and drew your face up so that you would be forced to make and keep eye contact with her. “If you screw this up, I promise you will not live to see the Summer Solstice, do you understand me?”

You drew in a breath, which was a mistake, a sign of weakness. 

She released your chin, and with the opposite hand struck you across the face. “I asked you a question, now answer it.”

“Yes, ma’am, I understand,” you said, and you drew your hand up to cover the red mark that was forming on your cheek: your skin prickling and a headache seeping into your skull from the force of the strike.

“Good,” she said as she brushed her hands off on her skirt as if to rid herself of any filth she may have picked up from you. “Your father and are leaving for work for the next few days, although we plan on returning Wednesday for lunch, stay about your wits until then. Am I understood?”

You nodded, “Yes, ma’am.”

With that, she swept out of the room, her expensive black dress accentuating her exit. As she left, Draco came in the way she had exited. Seeing you holding your cheek with your eyes cast to the ground, he hurried over to you in concern.

“Y/n, did anything happen?” he asked, his tone as rushed as his entrance.

You shook your head ‘no.’ 

“Darling-”

“Draco, I’m fine,” you hissed, dropping your hand and looking up at him. The mark from the strike remained, and he saw it clearly. You took a moment to calm yourself. But you couldn’t help but feel guilty for your harsh tone when you caught his eye, the same eyes you had agreed to trust, at least while you were here, “I'm sorry, I just wish to go to bed if you don’t mind.”

He shook his head to give you a silent, yes. He had only seen you act like this up close and personal once when he pissed you off just that past week, but even in that, you had a beautifully bold and courageous anger about you that seemed to spark cherry red. This was different. Of course, he had seen you at events when you were both young, but you hadn’t attended them in recent years, and you acted far differently at Hogwarts. Even around him and his friends, you were yourself, even when he sought ways to piss you off. He thought back to the playful banter you had with Blaise just this morning, which felt like ages ago, or the fire you spat at him when he invaded dinner at the Gryffindor table. Here, in the presence of your parents, you were in a state of survival and fear. He was finally starting to see why you had been so afraid of him and this whole marriage. To you, he embodied everything you were afraid of, everything that kept you from living your life in fear of it being taken away. Should you say the wrong thing, wear the wrong dress, or use the wrong fork, befriend the wrong person, it would cost you. You were someone else here. He recognized the look of fear you had when the silver letter landed between you two, that night of the party all the way back in September, and even that morning in the courtyard when he refused to hear out your fears, preferring to remain ignorant to his own petty feelings. 

“Can I walk you up to your room?” He simply asked, now wasn’t the time to pry. He would have to prove to you that you could trust him, and that would take time.

You merely nodded and took his arm as it was offered to you. Draco showed you out of the room where your parents were all saying their goodbyes.

“You two should be heading up to bed now, especially after such a long day of traveling,” Narcissa noted.

“Yes, mother,” he said and gave polite nods to your parents. “Sir William, Ma’am, it was a pleasure getting to know you tonight. Thank you for joining us, and thank you for allowing Y/n to stay for the Holiday.”

“Please, Draco,” your mother started. “William and I are so often out of the house for work that she would have been alone most the time, and we can’t have that, can we?” She elicited a grotesque little giggle, to which everyone politely responded with smiles despite the thinly veiled insult.

You watched as your father took your mother's hand, “well goodnight Draco, Narcissa,” He said to the two, then his eyes landed on you, his tone shifting from polite to the one you were so used to hearing him use, “Goodnight, Y/n.”

“Goodnight, father, mother,” you said as they disappeared into the grand fireplace.

“Well, I won’t keep you two. I’m sure you need to sleep after today,” Narcissa said. “Goodnight, both of you.”

“Goodnight,” you and Draco said together before you parted ways, and Draco led you back up the set of stairs to your rooms. You released his arm and disappeared into the darkness without a word, the effects of the day settling heavily on your shoulders.

Sunday passed with little activity. You mostly took the day to explore the manor with Draco as Narcissa was busy running errands throughout the whole day. You were excited to find the library in the manor filled to the brim with old books. They were, of course, all wizard-written, although most of them seemed to have not been opened in a couple of generations. The fireplace alongside the comfortable leather chairs and the grand windows made it the perfect space to read. It seemed to be the only other comfortable room you found in the space. It was the last room Draco showed you on the extensive tour, and you both spent the rest of your day in the library. You went between reading and writing out details of your break thus far in letter format to your friends. You were hopeful that you may find the opportunity to sneak them out some way, and you didn’t want to forget a detail when you did get a chance to recount the events of your holiday. Draco, who sat across from you in his own chair, had a spread of books and charts along with a notebook that was clearly well used. You didn’t bother him with questions about what he was doing as you enjoyed the opportunity to sit in peace. In fact, it was the first time the two of you were able to occupy a space together without finding your way to one another’s throats.

Monday morning, you awoke on your own despite the darkness of the room. You took your time getting ready, allowing yourself to remain in the peaceful space as long as you could. You found a casual dress your mother had packed for you. Of course, there wasn’t a single pair of pants in sight. God forbid you have an ounce of comfort over these next two weeks. After you got ready, you realized you weren’t entirely sure of what you were meant to be doing or where you were supposed to be. You decided to walk downstairs and find breakfast. You made your way downstairs and through the maze of the house, through the dining room and sitting room till you finally reached the kitchen. Already inside was a house-elf, different from the one who had served dinner last night, hard at work cooking, and beyond him, you could see Draco sitting in a breakfast nook, eating. You slowly made your way over to him and took a seat across from him.

“Good morning,” you said as you sat down next to him.

“Good morning,” he said and smiled at you. “I’m sorry I didn’t wake you. I just figured I’d let you sleep.”

You shook your head, “Don’t apologize. It was nice.”

“Are you hungry?” He asked, and you responded with a nod. Shortly a plate with toast, poached eggs, and fruit appeared right in front of you.

“Thank you,” you said quietly as you began to eat.

The two of you sat in silence as you both ate your breakfast, you didn’t have anything to say, and Draco didn’t know what to say. This lasted about fifteen minutes and was only interrupted by Narcissa entering the kitchen.

“I’m so glad you two are here,” she said when she saw both of you.

“Good morning, mum,” Draco said, and you echoed him.

“We are going to Diagon Alley today, and we are going to get both of you fitted so that Madam Malkin can start adjusting your clothes for the wedding,” she explained. “Then, I thought the two of you could get lunch in London once we were done.”

You and Draco nodded, “Sounds lovely,” you said.

“Perfect, we’ll leave in an hour,” Narcissa said, then left the kitchen, likely to prepare for the trip.

You were excited to go to Diagon Alley. You hoped you would be able to sneak into the twins' store and, at the very least, see Fred and George, who you missed dearly now that you hadn’t seen them in nearly a year now. You also figured that you would be able to sneak them your Although, you limited your expectations, not wanting to get your hopes up if you couldn’t make it. The hour passed quickly, and at precisely 11:23 in the morning, the three of you utilized the grand fireplace to floo to Diagon Alley. The whole place was cold, so many shops had been boarded up, lights were out in many shops, although you found a slice of joy when you saw the lights up in Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes. You didn’t have much time to look as Narcissa quickly whisked both of you into Madam Malkin’s. It wasn’t until you were inside that you noticed the large black garment bag Narcissa had been carrying, something you could only assume to be the dress she was passing on to you.

“Draco, you go run your errand first while Y/n tries her dress on,” Narcissa said before you even went in and he nodded, clearly not wanting to argue with his mother on this one. While you wanted to see where this errand was taking him, Narcissa turned you around and gently pushed you inside of Madam Malkin’s shop.

“Ah, Lady Malfoy! I’ve cleared out my whole afternoon for you two. I take it we have a very special project at hand,” Malkin said as you entered. “Give her here,” she said regarding the dress, which she indicated by holding out her arms.

Narcissa softly handed over the wedding dress. Madam Malkin hung it up on a nearby garment rack, unzipping the black bag revealing a stunningly elegant white gown in impeccable condition. “Let’s get this on you, dear,” she said, ushering you over, and you complied quickly. 

It took both her and Narcissa to get the dress on you due to the sheer weight of the thing, but once it was on, it fit nearly perfectly. But Madam Malkin flitted around you, taking notes, making marks, poking you when you moved, and making suggestions to Narcissa about changes that would better accentuate your figure. You just stood there and let the two of them make the decisions. You didn’t feel that you had much of a stake in the wedding anyways. What more was the dress? Eventually, however, they separated you from the dress, Malkin placing it back in the garment bag and zipping it up so that when Draco returned, he wouldn’t see it, not that it mattered much. Your marriage had been doomed from the start.

“Dear,” she interrupted your thoughts. “I’ll schedule one more fitting with you when it’s done. Lady Malfoy was saying the wedding will be in late June?”

“Summer Solstice,” you said. “But Narcissa is doing most of the scheduling since I’m still in school, so it may be better to schedule the fitting with her.” You felt bad for deflecting, but you genuinely didn’t know much of anything going on with this event.

“Oh, of course, I’ll be sure to do that,” she said, and as you turned to leave, she stopped you. “I noticed you were quiet during the fitting, is there anything you’d like included in the dress? It is your wedding, isn’t it?”

“I love peonies,” you said, then turned to leave, not wanting to speak about the dress anymore, it playing to your anxieties for some reason. When you reached the front door of the shop, you were met by Draco and Narcissa, who had gone to retrieve him while you were changing. “I’m sure it’s just as bad for the bride to see the groom in his wedding ware,” you said to Narcissa. “Would you mind if I stepped out for a moment?”

“No, darling go right ahead,” she said, and as you exited, you caught Draco’s eyes. While you may have fooled his mother, you knew in that second you hadn’t fooled him. It was clear that he knew you pretty well, but you quickly made your way out of the shop and down the alley.

When you were sure they couldn’t see you, you slipped into a practically empty Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes, devoid besides two quintessential red-heads.

“Y/n!” You heard Fred’s energetic and happy voice from the top of the shop.

“Come quickly, I haven’t long,” you urged, although instantly regretting your request as each of the twins apparated only a centimeter away from you on each side.

“What’re you doing here?” George asked.

“Getting Narcissa Malfoy’s old wedding dress fitted for my wedding,” you whispered as if you were worried that she could hear you.

“No,” the two whispered in unison, to which you nodded in confirmation.

“Draco is getting his robes fitted, and I used the whole bad omen thing as an excuse to sneak out. I just wanted to see you two,” you said. You had begun breathing easy again for the first time in twenty-four hours.

“We’re happy to see you, Y/n,” George said, all sense of humour aside.

You pulled four letters out of your pocket on the inside of your coat, “These are for you two, Harry, Ginny, and Hermione if you can get it to her.”

“Ron doesn’t get one?” Fred asked, raising an eyebrow inquisitively. 

“I figured he and Harry would share I didn't have all that much time,” you answered. “I had ought to be going. Please send letters once I’m back at school I’ve missed both of you.”

“We’ll send you half the store-” George started

“-A care package,” Fred finished his thought, and you pulled the twins into a hug.

“Stay strong,” they said from either side of you.

“Stick to what you know is right,” Fred said.

“We know William would be proud of you,” George said. The twins had known your brother well since he had been a close friend of their older brother Bill's. William had been a Gryffindor as well, and he played quidditch alongside Bill. He had been the reason why doing something other than what your family had set out for you could even be perceived as an option. 

“Thank you,” you whispered before disappearing out of the door. It was relieving to see them even for just that moment, and you were comforted when you noticed that Draco and Narcissa hadn’t ventured out of Madam Malkin’s just yet. You took the time you had left to rush into Flourish and Blott’s, a place they would expect to find you in. Of course, not long after you hurried in, Draco sauntered in, finding you in the potions section near the front of the store.

“Thought I’d find you here,” he said, not mentioning the look you had shared earlier, and you nodded.

“Call me predictable, but I do love books,” you again found yourself lying through your teeth.

“Well, my mother has returned to the manor. She expects us to go get lunch if you’re up to it.”

“Absolutely,” you said, the hesitance on your voice obvious.

“But?” He asked.

“Would you mind if we went and picked up a couple of pants, my mum didn’t pack me any, and I just really hate how cold my legs get in these dresses,” you said, gesturing to the dress and tights you were currently wearing.

“I wouldn’t mind at all,” he said, and you perked up a bit. “I just don’t know where to go.”

“I’ve got somewhere you’ll love,” you said, and being that money is of no consequence to either of you, you showed Draco to Bond St. somewhere you only knew of because of a shopping-obsessed cousin of yours.

You found it surprisingly amusing shopping at muggle stores with Draco. You were both well respected in the shops you entered, which you assumed him to appreciate, along with the clothes' general quality and style. You enjoyed picking out clothing for him, finding a particular oversized black turtleneck and tight slack duo a bit enticing. 

Draco, while enjoying the fashion, also enjoyed seeing you loosen up. He was aware you had slipped into the Weasley’s shop, but it didn’t bother him as much now that he was able to see you relax just a little bit with him. Indeed he didn’t find it boring to watch you trying on incredibly beautiful clothing, and he loved sneaking money too whoever was helping you and surprising you with the purchase. At this point, he didn’t know how to express his love to you otherwise, and he wanted to do so; however, he possibly could.

This went on for longer than either of you anticipated, although it was more fun than tiring or boring. Eventually, once you had made it through your last store, you finally made it to the restaurant you had been meant to go to in the first place. It wasn’t long before you were seated, your many bags stowed in coat-check. 

“I have to admit today’s been more, well, fun than I assumed it would be,” you said as you opened the menu.

“I’m glad,” Draco said, an unmistakably kind smile on his face.

A waiter came to your table relatively quickly, “Good evening.” 

“Good evening,” you greeted kindly.

“I am afraid you will not be needing these menus as today you are being treated by the Chef,” the waiter informed as he collected the menus from you. “Any allergies we should be aware of?”

“None,” Draco said and smiled, “Thank you.”

“Of course, sir, I’ll be back shortly with drinks.”

“This really is lovely, Draco,” you said as you settled into your seat.

“Anything for you,” he said and smiled at you.

You couldn’t help but question him again for just a moment, was this more of that image you had promised to maintain, but there was no one to prove your relationship to. Could it be genuine, could it be that he lied to you that morning in the courtyard?

The dinner continued on in the same pleasant fashion as your day had. You and Draco exchanging banter as you had earlier. You both took your time with each other and with the evening, allowing yourselves for once to truly enjoy the other's presence. It helped that the food was incredible and the atmosphere utterly romantic. The lights dim, and the sound of sensual jazz playing live, allowing your senses to fizz along with the music like the champagne in front of you. At the end of the night, Draco didn’t even consider letting you pay, although you promised to get him back, which he believed. Being that the coat-check was run by a very kind witch, you didn’t have to worry about your bags.

“I guess we have to go back now,” you said, clearly not too happy about that fact as you both exited the restaurant as you made your way back to the Leaky Cauldron.

“Look, I know I haven’t been the best to you in the past, but I’m here for you. Alright? Whatever you need, I’ve got you,” Draco said, the sympathy in his voice still slightly jarring.

You reached out, took his hand, and smiled weakly. Not only were thoughts of your parents approaching lunch on your mind, but you were beginning to believe him. “Thank you, Draco.”

“You two must have had an eventful day,” She said, referring to the bags that arrived before you along with your late arrival time.

“I thought I’d take my girlfriend out on a proper date,” Draco said, placing a kiss on your cheek, causing a soft blush to rise up.

“Well, I’m glad you two had a good day,” Narcissa said and smiled.

“Yes, thank you for the suggestion,” you nodded.

“So, tomorrow, a wedding planner will be here to meet with Y/n and I for the full day,” she said to you. “So Draco, you can work on those errands we had spoken about.”

There were those errands you had heard mention so many times, which you found never failed to make Draco tense up.

“Alright, well, I’ll be off to bed. I was just waiting up to see you home safely,” Narcissa rose, closing her book as she left the room, the tea following her up the stairs.

You were left in the foyer with Draco, and neither of you were sure what to say. 

“Well, it seems we both have another full day ahead of us,” he said after a moment of silence. “So, we should probably head upstairs.”

“Yeah, absolutely,” you nodded, still so close to him you were alarmed by the tension between you too.

“Today was nice,” he said. “I really enjoyed spending time with you.”

You nodded again. It felt like your brain was turning to mush as all you could smell was him, his musky cologne, and minty shampoo intoxicating. The darkness of the manor seemed to close around the two of you, lit only by the fire you were standing in front of. 

“Let me walk you up to your room,” Draco said, offering you his hand, which you kindly took, escorting you to your door, departing once you disappeared inside.

As you got ready for bed, you couldn’t stop thinking about him. Here he was again, soft, kind, and caring, and so incredibly confusing. A part of you loved being around him, joking with him, throwing playful insults back and forth, and merlin you couldn’t get over his cologne or how badly you wanted to run a hand through his perfect platinum blonde hair. But another part of you couldn’t help but see the cruel bully who didn’t mind making your life as hellish as possible, who didn’t think twice before shouting your private life out for the entire school to hear, and you couldn’t help but question whether or not everything he said to you was a lie or was the truth. Not to mention those mysterious meetings and errands. Eventually, your busy mind found sleep, although you found yourself shooting awake every so often due to terrible nightmares. You couldn’t sort them out but images of your father standing over you while you sat in a pool of your own sharp red blood, a sea of well-dressed purebloods at your wedding with Voldemort looming over you and Draco. Every time you awoke, you were nervous that you had awoken Draco. Although you had no evidence, you had awoken the other girls in your dorm with your screams more than a few times in the past six years.

You awoke, absolutely exhausted from the sleepless night, but you dragged yourself out of bed, wanting not to be late for your appointments with Narcissa and the wedding planner, although, after yesterday, you were sure that the two of them would be making most of the decisions while you looked pretty and nodded in agreement on topics that made you feel sick. You donned a perfectly simple yet elegant black dress and headed downstairs in the hope of finding breakfast and, more importantly, tea. You found Draco sitting in the same spot you had found him in yesterday and the day before eating a green apple.

“Good morning,” you greeted as he swallowed the bite he had just taken.

“Good morning. Did you sleep, alright?” He asked, his voice laced in concern revealing to you that he may be aware of your restless night.

You resigned to nodding, unsure of how to answer, and not wanting to outright lie but also not wanting to reveal your nightmares in the middle of the kitchen. 

“I got this for you,” Draco said, sliding a book towards you. Your screams had awoken him a few times through the night, but he chose to ignore your dismissal of his question, trusting that you would come to him when you needed him.

“What is it?” You asked, picking up the old book and examining the cover.

“Open it,” said Draco softly.

You did as instructed, finding an envelope inside addressed to Draco from Theodore Nott. You were puzzled but opened it up to find parchment covered in Harry’s messy scrawl.

Dear Y/n

You peeked at the beginning of the letter, excitement raging in your stomach. “Draco, how-” you whispered, your tone shifting back to the one he was used to hearing from you.

“Read it later,” he said smartly, and you nodded, tucking the letter back into the book. “I’m sure there’ll be more, but that one came this morning.”

You caught his eyes and held eye contact with him, all sincerity falling over you, “Draco, thank you, I know this, that my friendship with them isn’t easy for you. You don’t know what this means to me, what you doing this for me means.”

Your words struck Draco, he knew you’d be happy, but he didn’t consider entirely what it would mean to you. He was so deep in his thoughts, he was deeply startled by the kiss you placed on his cheeks. Although momentary, he knew he’d never forget the feeling of your soft lips on his face. The moment absolute bliss, he simply craved another when you stood back up. He wished he would grab your hand, pull you down onto his lap and kiss you back properly, but he wanted to give you the time you deserved. This touch, unlike many you had exchanged, was genuine.

“Anything for you, Y/n,” said Draco. They were the only words that he could think to say.

“Oh no, am I interrupting a moment?” Narcissa asked, half-way through her entrance to the kitchen. 

You snapped the book shut, and straightened yourself up, the kiss you gave Draco affecting you more than you thought such a modest action could possibly affect you. 

“No! Don’t worry, Draco was just surprising me with a book I didn’t think I’d be able to get otherwise,” you said, your words thinly veiled to the boy sitting next to you.

Narcissa smiled, excited that you two were getting on so well. “Well, I am sorry to interrupt, but we have an appointment in the sitting room.”

“Of course,” you said before turning to Draco. “Thank you again, Draco, have a lovely day.”

“You as well, darling,” he said and smiled back at you, watching intently as you left the kitchen alongside his mother. 

He couldn’t help but feel a sense of melancholy wash over him as he saw you redraw your walls as you walked away. This wasn’t the life you deserved, and he could only feel that he was locking you into it, but somehow at the same time, he was your last chance at survival, and as you had pointed out in September, it could’ve been several guys, but he was glad it had been him. He sat with his thoughts for a while longer before rising to get about the terror of a day he had ahead of him.

Your day wasn’t much better. The sea of colors, choices, flowers, linens, menu options, types of chairs, different styles of canopies, and the list only seemed to grow every time you thought you’d reached the end. At the very least, the planner was sensible and didn’t talk your ear off about how exciting it was for you to get married. It was as if she understood that you, as a sixteen-year-old, wasn’t exactly anticipating this nor expecting it to be the best day of your life. Nevertheless, there was a mountain of things to get done. Narcissa helped with it all, honestly, she was more excited about the whole thing than you were, but you didn’t mind. The woman had shown you nothing but kindness, and her happiness brought a bit of lightness to your dark world.

“And I have a list of Master Malfoy’s groomsmen, but not your bridesmaids, ma’am,” the planner, Alexandra, directed this statement to you, pulling you out of your thoughts.

You hadn’t considered bridesmaids, and the thought of having anyone but Hermione, Ginny, and Luna with you made you want to burst out in tears. But it was evident that you couldn’t have them. “I guess, Pansy Parkinson, and Astoria Greengrass,” you paused, entirely unsure of anyone else you knew who wouldn’t be murdered for stepping foot at this event.

“Well, your fiancé only has three groomsmen, so you really only need one more,” she noted, and you looked to Narcissa for help. 

“My cousin’s daughter, Ismelda Rosier, is coming, and I’m sure she’d love to be a bridesmaid,” Narcissa said, smoothly saving you, and you released a silent breath of relief which admittedly didn’t last long as the thought of spending your wedding celebrating with two girls you hated and one you didn’t know settled in your mind.

You continued sorting through the many tasks till darkness fell, and you were interrupted by your knight in shining armor, Draco. 

“I think eggshell linens would be lovely,” he said as he entered the sitting room, approaching the table the three of you had gathered at. “Pardon my interruption, but dinner is ready. Will you be joining us, Miss-”

“Alexandra Frey,” she introduced herself. “No, but thank you for the invitation. I’ve got lots of work to do, Mrs. Malfoy. I’ll be back next week, the same day?” 

Narcissa nodded, “Thank you for your time Alexandra, we’ll see you next week.”

You stood and made your way to Draco, excited to get away from the headache you’d spent your day dealing with. “You are my knight in shining armor,” you whispered in his ear. “If I had to talk about napkins for one more second, I’m going to find a window.” 

Draco laughed quite loudly, causing Narcissa to sharply turn around, “What are you two giggling about?” She asked although a smile was on her face.

“Mother, I’m going to have to confiscate my fiancée from you. I’m afraid you’re going to kill her with talk of napkins.”

Narcissa shook her head, she hadn’t heard her son laugh like that in years, and it brought light to her heart to watch you bring it forth with such ease. “You know, after today, I’m quite tired. I think I’ll take dinner in my room if you don’t mind. You two go ahead and eat,” she said, and neither of you offered any debate.

“Thank you, Narcissa,” you said sweetly, and she nodded as you both headed off into the dining room. You chose the seat next to the head of the table as was social protocol, although Draco swept around you, electing to sit closer to you.

“It’s just us, I doubt anyone will care,” he said as he sat down.

“Mister Malfoy, how incredibly improper of you, whatever will I do with such a mannerless man?” You teased, your exhaustion accompanied by this morning's gesture emboldening you.

“I guess you’ll have to find peace with the fact that you’re to marry a beast who does not know his table manners, Miss Y/l/n,” he teased right back.

“I may just faint,” you said breathily, mockingly wobbling in your seat.

That laugh, that vivid, rolling laugh that reminded you kindly of waves meeting the sand, returned to your ears.

“So, how is our wedding turning out?” He asked as drinks, and your first course appeared on your plates.

“For one, I think it is preposterous that the only reason I am apart of planning and you aren’t is because I am a woman, and you are a man,” You said, as you lightly touched his nose to emphasize your point. “You are most likely way better at these things than I am. And second, my bridesmaids are Pansy, Astoria, and your cousin Ismelda, so that’s exciting.”

“Merlin, Pansy is going to hate that.”

“How was your day?”

“Certainly not as interesting as yours,” he masterfully dodged your question, which you let drop.

You continued talking, going back and forth just as you had Sunday night, but tonight was slightly different. You had started to trust him, brick by brick taking down a wall just for him, and he was beginning to understand you. Again you found the time you spent with him to be incredibly pleasant, pleasant enough for you to occasionally notice butterflies rattle around in your stomach.

When dinner ended, and it was time for you to both get to bed, you somehow both rose from your chairs on the same side. Luckily Draco had some of his whits about him and gracefully caught you by the shoulders, holding you just far enough away so that you wouldn’t bump into him but close enough so that it felt like your stomach was being shredded, his lips just centimeters away and the dim light suddenly feeling very romantic. But you just stepped back and allowed him to show you up to your room.

You awoke Wednesday morning, the monotony of your routine beginning to set in. You found your way back into the closet and picked out another perfect little black dress your mother had provided you along with a corset underneath to cinch your waist and a matching sweater. You styled your hair precisely as she would like it and followed with your makeup, applying it with an expert hand. 

It was around nine when you made your way downstairs and into the kitchen to find that you were the first to arrive.

“Good morning,” you greeted the house-elf, whose name you still didn’t know.

“Are you talking to Zilsey, Miss?” she asked you.

“Of course, and please, when it’s just us, call me, Y/n,” You requested kindly.

She nodded, “Did Zilsey do something wrong, Miss?”

“No! No, I just wanted to say hello and good morning,” you said, softening your tone as much as you could.

“Oh, thank you,” she said. “Can Zilsey get you anything, miss?”

“No, thank you Zilsey, is breakfast out on the table?” You asked.

“Yes, Miss, it is.”

“Thank you, Zilsey.”

You sat down at the breakfast table. You weren’t hungry, in fact, you were mostly nauseous with nerves at the thought of the day that was ahead of you. You poured yourself some tea and found an apple. You sat with yourself and your tea for a while until Draco appeared in similar black attire.

“Good morning,” he greeted, another book in hand, and you perked up a bit.

“Good morning,” you stood to greet him.

“This is for you,” he said, passing you the book, and you took it.

“Thank you, Draco,” you said with the same sincerity you had the day before.

“Anything for you,” he said, kindness softening his grey eyes.

“Do you mind if I read it?” You asked as you both sat down in your respective spots.

“No darling, go ahead,” said Draco as he started placing food on his plate.

You opened the letter from ‘Pansy Parkinson’ underneath the table as a layer of precaution. Excited to see Hermione’s neat scrawl and your name at the top.

Y/n,

I miss you so much I hope that you are staying safe and everything is going well. Harry told me that Draco came to him and Ron on the train and told them to write to you through him. Did he come up with this on his own? I think you should ask him about the morning in the courtyard again, I have the feeling that there is more to what’s going on than what he’s told you. 

Everything is going well on my side of things, I still haven’t been in touch at all with Ron, but I know that Harry and Ginny are doing well, but if they haven’t written you yet, I am sure they will soon. Harry has a whole conspiracy theory going around Draco, and I’m positive he is going to ask your thoughts, although he may wait until we return to school. He said that he’s worried Draco is reading these, but I doubt it. I’ve got a wonderful Christmas present for you, but I’ll wait to give it to you until we return.

Please know that I’m here for you no matter what and that I love you.

Stay safe and write me when you can,

Hermione.

“Thank you for these Draco, I really can’t say it enough,” you said once you finished the letter.

He nodded, “Anything for you.”

“Hermione says I should give you the benefit of the doubt,” you said as you folded the letter back into its envelope. You knew exactly what you were doing with those words.

Draco swallowed the pumpkin juice he had just picked up. “Does she?”

Elegantly, you nodded, “She does.”

You knew this was enough to tell him that your feelings for him existed and that you were considering something real, something better than this game of tennis you had been playing.

“Well, she is the smartest witch in our year.”

“I thought that was me,” you smirked.

Draco smiled, and playfully shook his head at you.

Breakfast continued, full of banter and flirting, and as you were waiting for the events of the day, you moved into the sitting room. Although eventually, your parents arrived, and the second they were announced, you hastily reconstructed your walls and straightened your back. Draco, picking up on every little change in habit you exhibited.

While it wasn’t raining outside, it was quite chilly, although Narcissa had utilized magic to put up a sort of weather-proof bubble around the outdoor dining set, allowing the lunch to take place out in the Malfoy’s beautiful garden. Even in winter, flowers, vines, trees, and hedges thrived green, white, silver, and blood red. Despite this, the gardens seemed cold, lifeless, and fake.

You and Draco made your way through the fog to the transparent bubble that sat in the center of a clearing out past the maze and under a series of trees and vines where your parents were waiting.

“There are the love birds,” Narcissa said gently.

“We were waiting for you all in the sitting room when the elf announced your presence,” Draco explained, catching your mother's judgmental gaze on you.

“Don’t worry, we haven’t been out here for more than a few minutes,” said Narcissa.

You assumed your seat next to Draco and across from your mother as sandwiches and teas appeared on the table before you. The lunch went as the dinner before it had, your parents focusing entirely on you and your mother shooting snide remarks about your appearance or your attitude whenever she could fit them in, although this time, your respite was a glass of champagne and holding onto Draco’s hand under the table.

“Layah, I’m sorry you aren’t able to make any of the appointments with the wedding planner. I’m sure you’d love to see how it's all getting along,” Narcissa said.

“Oh, I trust you completely with all that Narcissa, it really isn’t in my area of interest,” she said.

You were surprised that she wasn’t, in fact, more controlling over this whole process, although it was likely because she just wanted rid of you. Lunch continued on, and as it did, you noticed the stares you were receiving from your father, typically, he would just ignore you. In fact, the only time you received this much attention from his was when you screwed up.

As tiny desserts and espresso hit the table, your father rose from his seat. “If you don’t mind Y/n and I are going to go on a walk, I’d love the opportunity to talk to her, Father to Daughter,” he said to gritted teeth, taking your wrist tightly in his hand, and departing, dragging you along with him before anyone could say anything.

He took you inside and upstairs, shoving you into the first open guest room he could find and instantly cornering you. 

“Your mother and I have been made aware that you’ve found yourself in the arms of Harry Potter more than once and that now he is writing to you here. Now usually, I would have your mother deal with such slip-ups. However, we have also been made aware that you slipped away in Diagonal Alley the other day to see some Weasleys. I thought you would’ve learned from your brother's mistakes.”

You swallowed, unsure of what to say as the shock of him finding you out rose to your expression.

“Don’t think we don’t have eyes on you, girl. Now, what do you have to say for yourself, considering slip-ups of the same nature are what got your brother his early spot in the grave,” 

“Father, I’m sorry, I promise I’ll do better,” you recited the taught promise. You couldn’t think, the persistent reminder of William and the overbearing presence of your father overwhelming your mind. 

He glowered at you, “You know that promises are not enough. We really did expect more from you, Y/n.” 

“I know, sir, I apologize-” 

In order to shut you up, William raised his left hand and backhanded you, the sharp cold ring bearing your family crest cutting your from the bottom of your cheek to just under your eye.

“You will not be embarrassing your mother or me after we leave on the errand,” He said, spitting on the ground next to you as you pressed yourself into the wall as you clenched your eyes closed. “Look at me when I speak to you!” He roared as he pulled out his wand and held it to your neck.

“Yes, sir! Yes, I’m sorry,” you sobbed, but when you looked up at him, he silently cast a dark spell that began to open the scars that littered your back, one you had experienced twice just this past summer. 

As the curse started to take effect, you fell to your knees, and the man standing above, you stepped back in order witness to his work. When you were down, tears started streaming down your face from the pain, and you were focused on the screaming wounds on your back. He grabbed your hair in a fist and pulled your face up so that you’d have to look him in the eye as your blood seeped into the fabric on your back. 

“You’re just a stupid little girl unable to comprehend the world around her. You’re not to ruin the legacy our family has worked so painfully hard to craft, you’ll shut up and be a pretty little face. You’ll marry Draco, you’ll stand by as we win this war, and you’ll have pureblood babies. You’ll be the Malfoy’s problem, and you’ll bear their name, but I won’t allow you to blatantly write off everything this family stands for. Your opinion, your thoughts, that overactive brain of yours doesn’t matter. Am I understood?” 

“Yes, sir,” you croaked. 

“Ah, I’ve been looking for you sir,” Draco’s sudden presence caused your father to drop you and turn towards the entrance of the room where Draco was standing. He stood in front of you in an attempt to cover you considering your current state. “Would you mind if I stole Y/n for a moment? My mother wanted to speak with her. Although if you two-“

“No, no son, please go right ahead. I was just saying my goodbyes. Layah and I will actually be leaving now.”

Your father turned back to you, muttering the counter curse to the torture he had started, then giving you a terrifyingly venomous glare before striding out of the room. Not before giving Draco a kind nod. Once he was gone, you let out a sob you had desperately been trying to hold in.

“Y/n, are you okay?!” Draco rushed over to you, dropping to his knees.

"The corset,” you murmured. You didn’t have nearly enough breath to allow for speech to come freely.

Draco pulled out his wand to unzip your dress and quickly undo your corset, ridding you of it as soon as he possibly could. Once he saw all the open scars on your back and the blood that had soaked through all of the layers of your dress, he muttered a nearly silent, “vulnera sanentur” which painfully closed the now fresh wounds. Every one of them turning into angry red scabs and flesh, and the cut on your cheek closing into a raised red line across your face.

“Can you stand at all?” Draco asked you, and you nodded, despite being unsure. “Here,” he muttered, and he picked you up, avoiding touching your back as best he could. He carried you down the hall and into his room, softly sitting you down on his bed. Draco disappeared into his closet, quickly returning with a plain sweatshirt and a pair of his boxers. “Let me help you put these on,” he offered, and you accepted, enveloped in pain you weren’t thinking of much besides your throbbing back.

“Do you want to tell me what happened? Or do you want to lay down?” He asked, he was rushed and worried, entirely unsure of how exactly he could help you.

“He knows Draco, he knows about Harry, about the letters, he knows that I went to see Fred and George,” you cried. “I don’t know how he could know.”

Draco sat down in the middle of the bed with his back against the headboard, and he laid you down from your sitting position so that your head was resting on his lap, “Darling, I’m so sorry.”

“He said that they’ve been watching me. I can’t believe I’ve been so stupid to think I could get away with anything,” you said as another sob racked your body.

“I promise you that I’ll never let something like this happen to you again,” he said in a soft and gentle whisper.

“Do you love me, Draco?” you asked, your voice so quiet you weren’t sure if he could hear you.

This caught him off guard, but after a minute, you heard him respond, “Of course I do, I have for years.”

“Then, why?” you were referring to the last term and the hell he had put you through.

He drew a breath in, he couldn’t very well lie to you now, “I- well there’s just a lot going on and I. Well, I’m involved in something that could get you seriously hurt, and I couldn’t bear the thought of being the cause of your death because I-” he looked up at the wall to collect his thoughts for a moment then looked back down at you. “I love you, and I didn’t want to tell you now, here, l really care about you, and I don’t know how to convey it because you- you’re perfect and I’m just an asshole, and I don’t know how to do anything but hurt you. You emerged from all of this, from the abuse and the lies about blood purity a better person, and I just let them turn me into one of their own, a pawn.”

It took you a while to think about what he said, the lack of blood, the exhaustion, and the adrenaline seeping out of your body, causing you to take longer than you might usually. You placed your hand over his, the one that was resting on his knee, your voice was lighter and lower than a whisper, “We can fight on the right side of this war, Draco, even in secret, but we’re all that we’ll have. You don’t have to be their pawn. I know your heart is in the right place. You just have to trust me.”

He folded down and stared into your eyes, inches away from your face. After a few moments, your lips met, exchanging a delicate and telling kiss. You loved him, you cared about him, you felt safe with him, and the two of you wouldn’t be your parents. You would make a better legacy for your families. You would change the tide.

-

Part 6 - The Onyx Ring

Tag list-

@whatawildone @herequeerandstressed @lordfxxker @pillowjj @pointlesscoconut @lovelylangdonx @fire-in-her-veinz​ @morelovemorepeacemoretattoo-blog @oi-itsemily @lukehemmingslut831 @peachybeannn @lovebynorth @bubblesam06 @voidnarnia @bethii1 @arthemis-o-negative @roseyrams @treestarrrrrrrr @streetfighterrichie @dreams-in-blxck

[krreader]

ensorcell | chapter 8.

pairing: prince!taehyung x reader  fandom: bts warnings: non idol!au ; prince!taehyung ;  arranged marriage ; language ; sex  genre: fluff ; angst ; smut word count: 2.7k+ previous: 1 ; 2 ; 3 ; 4 ; 5 ; 6 ; 7

summary: it was funny, how meeting one single person could change your life forever. you were ordinary, he was not. he was rich, you were not. he fell in love with you and so did you. even though he was never supposed to.

a/n: i’m so sad I never get to update my originals as much as I want to, but I’m really happy when I do. especially with this one BECAUSE IT’S FINALLY SEXY TIME

It was on days like these that you were harshly reminded of not really belonging here.

It was on days like these that you realized that the girl struggling in college to get her degree and having frequent anxiety attacks due to the uncertainty of the future was the real you that you had left behind to play pretend. Because unlike some others, you were not cut out to play this game of royal intrigues that some seemed to excel in.

“You're mad.. aren't you?” the familiar voice would have made you turn around and smile a few hours ago, but now you kept your eyes firmly on the horizon and watched the sun set in the royal gardens while royal guards and maids were all around you, making sure that you were well taken care of.

Why, you might ask? Well, because they all thought you were carrying a royal heir, thanks to the man that now sat down next to you. When in reality, the only thing you were carrying was the weight of the lies that kept piling up.

“I'm not mad. I know why you did it,” when Taehyung let out a relieved sigh, you quickly added, “Doesn't mean I like what you did, though.”

“I had to say something. I've gotten so many inquiries about whether the rumors about Dae and me were true today, I knew the only way to make it stop was to say you were pregnant. A royal heir is the most precious thing a kingdom could have. You being pregnant will put an indefinite end to any possible other 'proposals' that my father could make.”

“But I'm not, Taehyung. I'm not pregnant. And I don't intend to get pregnant. Because in case you forgot, we've only been dating for a few weeks. Marrying is a big step after such a short amount of time, but having a baby?”

“I know,” he put his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands, brushing them over his tired eyes in desperation, “I thought it was the best solution at the time. I should have discussed it with you first, I'm sorry.”

It was a mess. A mess that would be hard to get out of, but at the same time, you really couldn't bring yourself to be angry with him. His father would have married him off to someone that he hated. He did it to ensure that the two of you could stay with each other. In some way, it showed you that he did it because, like his sister said, you meant a lot to him. And from the way he was acting now, a child hadn't been something that he had considered so early on either.

So at least you were on the same page in that sense.

Now, you'd have to figure out how to fix this and get out of this without birthing a baby in nine months. It’s not like you already had enough shit on your plate already.

“Give me a second,” you said when you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket, letting out a heavy sigh when you saw the name on the display. You already knew you were in deep shit when you answered, “Let me explain..-”

“No, you let me talk now and you just listen,” your mother started angrily, “You run off with some foreign prince that I've never met in my life without so much as a word to get married to him, because there is no other way to stay together, despite you and him only knowing each other for a few hours. Then you get knocked up by said prince before even getting married to him and are now pregnant without even having finished college yet and having absolutely zero fucking stability in your life while being in a country that is not home. Did I get all the details right?”

You clenched your jaw as you looked at the terrified 'foreign prince' that your mother seemed to like so much. Taehyung maybe should have asked more about your family, now that he was hearing her scream like this.

“I'm not pregnant, mom,” you lowered your voice, “It's.. extremely complicated and I promise I will explain it all eventually, but I am not pregnant, okay?”

“You know what? I've had enough. I'm taking the next flight out and I am taking you home with me.”

That alarmed Taehyung so much that he sat up straight, but you just put your hand on his leg to stop him from worrying, “I'm not five anymore, mom, you can't just come and get me. I'm an adult who can make her own decisions and I've made this one. I am getting married, with or without your approval.”

You knew that she was worried. That her saying that wasn't said out of any ill-will, but she was worried sick for you being here, so far away from home where she couldn't be with you.

And she instantly showed that side of herself when her voice broke a little, “Just come home, sweetheart. We can figure all of this out when you're back here. And maybe your boyfriend could come here too? Why can't he just..-”

If only it were so easy.

“Mom,” you got up and started walking, wanting a moment alone with your mother, “I miss you as much as you miss me, so I'm going to suggest that maybe, if you can, come here and spend a few days here. I actually would really like you to be here for the wedding. I want you to meet Taehyung and see what a great guy he is and his mother and sister, who take such good care of me. I want you to meet them.”

“It's not them I'm worried about. It's everything else. You don't understand how big of a thing this is, the media coverage on all of this is insane. Everyone is suddenly talking so much about you and I'm so afraid of what it's turning you into. I just don't want anything to happen to you, so leaving now..-”

“..- is not an option, I'm sorry, mom,” you said firmly, but at the same time, with a soft undertone, “Call (Y/B/F). She'll be here soon, maybe you can take the same flight as her. I'll prove to you that I'm doing okay and that you won't have to worry about me. I've got this.”

Fake it till you make it, right?

“How could you be so stupid?!” the king was pacing up and down the room, the queen and Taehyung's brother and sister all sitting across from you and him on a couch opposite, “I told you, the worst thing that you could do is get her pregnant and you do exactly that. This is an outrage!”

“Have you even listened to the news? Read an article? Because everything I've seen so far is well-wishes and happiness,” Taehyung leaned back and crossed one leg over the other, “We live in the 21st Century, father. Having a child before marriage isn't as big of a deal anymore as when you were younger.”

He was challenging him, so much that his mother had to gently shake her head to tell him to stop.

The king was already furious enough. Taehyung shouldn't add more fuel to the fire.

You had thought that Taehyung might have told his father the truth about the situation, but that would make little sense. What he did was to stop him from trying to ruin yours and his relationship. If he caught wind of this pregnancy being fake, it would be back to him trying to marry Taehyung off to princess Dae. His mother seemed to be unaware of the situation as well. Only his sister knew, why she did, though, you didn't know. Maybe Taehyung had confided in her beforehand.

“I thought I had raised you well, you know?” gone was the mad king, now all that you could see on his face was disappointment, “But ever since you met her..-” and as soon as your eyes met his, it was back to anger, “..you ruined everything.”

Taehyung let out a snort and got up, “If that's everything you have to say, then we shall take our leave. My fiancé has to rest,” he emphasized the word fiancé, which only seemed to make his father angrier.

But before this could escalate any further, he pulled you up by your hand and out of the room, walking with you to your bedroom.

And as soon as the doors behind you two were closed, his shoulders slumped and you could see just how tired he actually was.

You weren't the only one that was drained by all of this, he just hid it better than you.

Taehyung moved to the bed, then sat down on the foot of it and closed his eyes for a moment.

You watched him, but couldn't do so for long. Your need to reach out and support him was too great. And so you followed him and knelt down before him, gently cupping his face in your hands so that he looked at you.

“This is all my fault,” he whispered, “I made it worse.”

“Why did you do it? I mean.. really, why did you take such a drastic step?”

He looked into your eyes for a long while, then he put his hands over yours to hold them, his eyes becoming sadder by the second, “I was scared to lose you. The only one that I ever had feelings for and that I wanted to spend my future with. That was selfish, wasn't it?”

The corner of your mouth curled into a smile, “I wouldn't be here anymore if I didn't feel the same way about you.”

And the longer this eye contact lasted, the harder your heart beat against your chest. So much, that it felt like it was about to jump out. The urge to kiss him, to hold him and just... be with him, was so overwhelming that you couldn't hold back anymore.

And for the first time since you came here, it felt like you shut off your brain and just listened to your heart. You leaned up and kissed him, carefully at first because you were afraid of taking it too far, but Taehyung was as desperate for this as you were.

This wasn't even about sexual needs, this was about feeling the other person so close to you, to feel a union that would bring you closer together and would help you feel a little better in a shitty situation like this.

He wanted that too... so he deepened the kiss.

You sighed against his lips and slowly got up, only so you could straddle him a moment later.

His hands traveled from yours to your waist, holding you so tightly that you felt like his hands were leaving marks on your skin.

Keep in mind that you haven't had a proper moment like this since that first kiss that you shared back home. All those emotions, those feelings... you both just bottled them up because you had no other choice. But now, the bottle was overflowing. And there was no going back anymore.

Taehyung fell back into the mattress, you with him, without ever breaking the kiss once.

The only moment you both did, was for you and him to take off your shirts, then it was back to exploring the others mouth.

Fingertips running over your back, a trail of goosebumps forming where they touched and once he unclasped your bra, your entire upper body was covered in them.

One of his hands came up to your neck to hold it firmly, his thumb brushing against your jaw, stopping to kiss you for a moment, but leaning his forehead against yours and breathing heavily.

You thought he might say something, but he couldn't. It was all too much in that moment. Too many feelings and emotions. All he could do was quickly turn you around so that you were lying on your back and he on top of you.

His lips found their way to your neck, beginning to kiss every single spot on it.

Your hands were running through his beautiful and soft hair, letting out quiet moans every time he found a spot that made you shiver.

It was clear that he wanted to make you feel good. As if he wanted to make up for something, which he really didn't have to. But as his lips wrapped around your nipples, you couldn't bring yourself to say no. Not when his tongue felt so good and felt even better when it was finally between your exposed legs.

You had only been able to imagine what kind of lover he was before, but you were glad to see that – despite not knowing his sexual history – he seemed to know what he was doing. His tongue was caressing your clit, kissing it and biting down on it every now and again. Every time your moans became louder, he slowed down, just so you could fully enjoy this and he could draw this out for as long as possible.

He didn't say a word, just enjoyed making you feel beautiful, loved and outright good. 

Soft kisses, hard kisses, sucking on it.. he drove you mad relatively quickly.

“I think..- I think I'm..-” you couldn't finish this sentence, Taehyung had already felt your grip tighten in his hair. He licked on your clit like he had before and to top it all of, sucked on it a little harder than he had earlier. And that was all it took to bring you over the edge and to have you moan out his name. Loud.

Your body became limp afterwards, breathing heavily as he kissed his way back up.

A grin had spread on his face, kissing your cheek when he whispered, “I should thank whoever built this castle for making the walls thick.”

You let out a chuckle and spread your legs a little wider, grinning when he looked down, “You're not done, though, right?”

“Right..-” he dipped his head to kiss you once, twice, then he leaned down to your ear, his hardened length now resting against your throbbing clit, “Are you sure?”

Butterflies erupted in your belly when he said that. This caring and wonderful man, still worried if you maybe didn't want to continue after all this... it might have been stupid to think that way, but in that moment, you thought to yourself: ‘It's all worth it...’

“Yes,” you wrapped your arms around his neck, “I want you. All of you.”

“You have me,” he whispered back, slipping inside you so easily because of how wet you were, “All of me.”

You had seen his dick earlier and had seen that it was long, but now that he was actually inside you, rock-hard at that, you could really feel just how long.

The moment he was completely buried in you, you let out a breath that you had unconsciously been holding and waited for him to continue.

But it took him a while.

He just waited, held you in his arms and kissed your cheek every now and again. 

“Hey.. are you okay?” you asked eventually, putting your hand on his cheek to make him look at you.

And when he did, you were surprised to see tears in his eyes. Worry filled your face, but he quickly laughed, “Shit, I'm sorry. I'm just... I just really needed this.”

“My vagina?” you said, mainly to lighten the mood. And it did.

Taehyung let out a laugh and kissed your forehead, “No.. happiness. A moment of peace. With the woman that I'll marry.”

Your smile softened, your thumb brushing over his cheek, “Well then.. why don't you show your wife-to-be what she can expect from her future husband?”

“Many,” he pulled out a little, “many,” then pushed back in, a little harder than the first time to make you moan, “Orgasms.”

Now, that was music to your ears.

And the moans that escaped his throat afterwards as he continued pushing himself inside you again and again were an even sweeter melody. Every time he moaned your name and told you how good you felt, your heart felt like it was exploding.

This is what you had both needed.

Because now, there was no uncertainty anymore.

This was right. This felt right. You and him together.

And whatever obstacle would come your way, you would face it.

Together.

[svtkillua]

milk and tea > 4

rating: [pg-13 / angst] genre: soulmate au pairing: todoroki shouto x reader warnings: cursing, heartbreak, angst! word count: 6.1k

listen while you read here!      join the discord!

1 - 2 - 3 - chap 4 - 5 - 6 [final]

The sky was dull every day during the week that passed, like the rain had sucked all the color from it and drained it away, clouds thick and dark like a threat from up above. Most people had been staying inside, couped up with their mid day coffees and bundled in blankets, cuddled up with the person they loved to keep them warm. Part of you wondered if that was where Todoroki was, if he was at home curled up in Momo’s lap with his head on her shoulder, if he’d already washed away the emptiness from the week before. The same emptiness that was eating you whole, swallowing up any joy left inside you every time you remembered the way his lips had felt against your own. 

Todoroki was gone when you woke up that morning a week ago, the smell of his cologne still bathed into the sheets when you hugged them just a little bit tighter to your chest. The apartment had felt dead, as hollow as your chest did when your eyes opened to find nothing there beside you in bed. Everything was unfair, all of it, getting to kiss him once but knowing you never would again, getting to memorize how he sounded when he said ‘ I love you ‘ but never getting to utter it back to him for the rest of your lives. It had made your eyes burn, made you scream into your pillow to muffle the sound as much as you could, made your nails dig into your palms until they left marks. 

Your apartment had been suffocating, the ghost of Todoroki still vivid on your bed and beside your front door, still following you in a way that made it hard to breathe. You didn’t think you could be there for a while, could be in the place where both your desperate ‘I love you’s‘ were bouncing off the walls, reverberating into your bones and making them shake. You couldn’t do it anymore, couldn’t keep on acting like you were fine and continue trying to bottle everything up inside. The seal on your feelings had been broken and you couldn’t stuff them all back in where no one could see them, everything now up at the surface, letting you appear cracked and broken. 

Somehow that had lead you to Midoriya’s, where you cried into his chest for a solid hour while he held you on the sofa, where he listened to the words that poured past your lips without anything spewed back from his own mouth. He’d been more than kind, promising it would be okay, bringing you tea making you stay in their guest room so you wouldn’t have to go home just yet. He didn’t judge you, didn’t tell you how horrible you’d been to catch feelings for someone who was accounted for, his eyes full of worry for your distressed state every day since you’d shown up at his place one week ago. 

Your eyes fluttered shut as your head tipped back, body curled up on the sofa in Midoriya’s living room, his soulmate out of town, himself in the kitchen making the both of you lunch, his hums loud enough for you to hear. Todoroki had tried to call you every day, but you’d been too scared to talk to him just yet, guilt like a weight on your chest every time you hit the ignore button. Every time he’d send you a text after, simple texts that held so much love behind them, the words laced with worry and aching and all the pain you could feel in your chest mimicked in jumbled together letters. Everything hurt, like you’d worked out far too hard but didn’t stretch afterwords, like your muscles were contracted and too tight to loosen back to normal. 

When you opened your eyes again you caught sight of it, the diamond still placed on your finger as the ring twisted from the way your hands were wringing together, lungs burning like they were full of smoke as you skimmed your touch over it.

Todoroki hadn’t taken it when he left, the jewelry still on your finger when you’d woken up, and despite how heavy your chest felt, you couldn’t bring yourself to take it off. Maybe if you kept it on long enough you could pretend it was a part of you, maybe it could be what you looked at on days you were the most lonely and could think of Todoroki without the unimaginable pain that came laced with his image now. 

You wondered if it would get easier eventually, if maybe in a few months you wouldn’t regret getting to kiss him or tell him you loved him, that maybe you’d get to look back at it and feel thankful rather than devastated. It didn’t feel like it would, like a wound that was too big to heal, a gaping hole in the shape of your heart blown right through your rib cage. Maybe one morning you’d wake up beside another man and think that you loved him even more than you loved Todoroki, even if the mere idea made bile rise in your throat, the thought enough to make your head shake as Midoriya’s figure approached you on the sofa. 

“Here.” He hummed, hands extending as he plopped down beside you, passing over a bowl of whatever concoction he’d come up with, the tangy scent enough to make you mutter a soft thank you before you took a small bite. You weren’t hungry, you hadn’t been much of anything past upset all week, but Midoriya had been pretty insistent on making sure you ate and kept yourself from moping all the time, and at the moment you didn’t feel like arguing. He was being nice enough to let you stay there, you didn’t want to come across as rude to the one person you felt like you still fully had. “Taste okay?” 

“It’s great Midoriya, thank you.” You hummed faintly when your head bobbed in a nod, eyes downcasted to the bowl propped in your palm rather than focusing on his face. You could feel him staring at you, the concern oozing out of his pores like water raging down a river. He wanted you to talk about things, wanted you to open up and let yourself feel something openly rather than keeping things to a vocal minimum. Slowly your eyes floated over to his worry filled features, his huge eyes widening ever so slightly when he realized you’d caught him staring, lips pursed as he licked a bit of sauce off of them. “What?” 

“What?” 

“You’re staring at me.” 

“I’m not.” He shook his head dismissively and looked away, legs folding up under himself as he reached for the remote, flicking the volume up a few notches before smiling to himself. Your eyes rolled as you shoveled another bite of food past your lips, stomach unconsciously grumbling as your eyes flickered once down to your phone, watching the screen flash with light when it buzzed. “But if I was, it’d just be because I’m worried about you. Is that really so bad?” 

“I don’t want to talk about things.” You sighed and glanced at him, your phone buzzing again under your knee, the vibrations making it slip down the couch cushion towards your legs. “I know you just want to help Midoriya, and you are a lot, but you don’t get how I’m feeling. You never will. The only person who could come even close to getting how I feel is maybe Todoroki, and he’s the last person I want to talk to right now.” 

It was a lie, you wanted to talk to Todoroki so bad you could feel it in your bones. The problem was that you couldn’t handle it. Even saying his name out loud made your stomach twist, throat constricting until you forced down another bite of food. Everything felt harder without him, like you’d gotten tossed to the bottom of a mountain and told to climb back up with your bare hands, like you supposed to run a marathon with two broken ankles. You weren’t sure how to feel now besides depressed, weren’t sure how to make yourself move on from the hollow sensation in your chest when the person you wanted to fill it was in the arms of someone else. 

“You should talk to him, even if you don’t want to.” He sighed, leaning back on the couch once he abandoned his half empty bowl on the coffee table in front of him. Your eyes danced over his palm when it landed on your knee, savoring the comforting squeeze while you blinked away the burning hiding behind your lashes. “Todoroki, I mean. I know you don’t want to but I can guarantee he’s just as miserable as you are, maybe even more.” 

Your head shook as you set your bowl down, arms folding over your chest before your phone buzzed again beneath your leg, fingers clasping around the device and moving it up to rest on your blanket covered lap, glancing at Midoriya rather than the screen. He was staring at you again, eyebrows knitted together as he fidgeted his fingers in front of his long stomach, lips pressing into a thin line when you both recognized the sound of your phone vibrating another time in your lap. 

When you peeked down at the device you let out a shaky breathe, eyeing the string of messages all followed by Todoroki’s name, the text bubbles seeming like ghosts that had come back to haunt you. 

Todoroki [ 15:18 ] : 

You’re not at work again. 

Todoroki [ 15:20 ] : 

I don’t know if your okay or if you hate me now or what. 

Todoroki [ 15:22 ] : I miss you so fucking much. 

Todoroki [ 15:22 ] : 

Please talk to me.

You swallowed, hands shaky as you tossed the phone away from yourself, eyes drooping shut as Midoriya sighed beside you, arm looping around your shoulders before you were falling in his chest and crying quietly. His arms held you a little tighter the longer you stayed like that, like he was trying to protect you from the world still turning, like he wanted to shield you from your own thoughts that were trying to devour you. It’d been the theme of the week, you trying to shut yourself away from everyone else and Midoriya being there to help you when the cracks in your armor got too big to ignore. He wanted to help you but didn’t really know how, wanted to ease the pain in your chest but had no clue how to put himself in your shoes. 

Things had been easy for Midoriya, he’d met his soulmate right after highschool, their marks perfect matching swirls of blue. They’d gotten married, moved into an apartment, never had to be separated for more than a few days since they met. Their love had blossomed from day one, their relationship the perfect depiction of what soulmates were supposed to be, their personalities complimenting each other and their hearts beating in time with the others. You envied it so much, loathed yourself for how jealous you got on the nights his soulmate came home and you could hear them laughing quietly from their bedroom, despised watching them cook breakfast together before one of them left for work because they looked so genuinely happy and you’d never get that with Todoroki. 

Hell, maybe you’d never get that with anyone. 

It took awhile for you to calm down, the song of Midoriya quietly humming like the soundtrack lulling you back to calm, heartbeat slowing to its normal tempo as the sun peeked through the clouds out the window, flooding the floor beneath it with light. Everything was quiet when you shifted from his grasp, rubbing at your eye sockets as Midoriya took your phone and turned it off for you, setting it aside as his palm landed on your shoulder and left a comforting squeeze. Silence fell for a few minutes as the both of you stared at the television screen, though you weren’t taking any of it it, your body drained and eyes heavy from the crying, lungs exhausted from sucking in air so hard. 

“I’m gonna ask you something and I don’t want you to get upset with me.” 

Your head turned to look at him, vision hazy from the bit of moisture clinging to your eyelashes, Midoriya leaning forward to retrieve his drink from the coffee table. He took a sip, your eyebrow raising as if telling him to go on, arms folding over your chest lazily while your foot bounced unceremoniously against the carpet. 

“So I have this friend, Awase, he doesn’t have a soulmate either.” He huffed when you interjected him with a small groan, hands raising to your tired face as your head started to shake, already having a feeling you knew where his question was going. “Relax, I just want you to get lunch with him, not like a date. I just thought maybe talking to someone who has a better idea of what you have to deal with could be good for you. Please? For me?” 

You exhaled heavily, fingers parting from where they were resting over your eye sockets so you could look at him, his emerald eyes wide and pleading, like he was desperate for you to say yes. You knew he meant well, that he wanted to help you, that he wanted to let you live a life that wasn’t so clouded over with darkness but wasn’t sure how to get there. It made your stomach twist, a small bubble of guilt floating up your esophagus for all the stress and worries you’d dumped onto him. You felt like a burden at times even if he insisted you weren’t, like your suffering was making him suffer and it made you want to disappear. Sometimes it made you want to run away so you could start fresh where no one could hurt you and you could hurt no one, but you knew that was irrational. 

None the less, the guilt combined with the way his teeth gnawed on his bottom lip made you reluctantly bob your head in a nod, the shy but content smile that spread on Midoriya’s face enough to make you feel like it was the right decision. Even if it seemed useless, even if the idea of having to leave the house felt like too much work when everywhere you looked reminded you of what you didn’t have. You doubted it would work, were unconvinced simply talking to someone else could change anything, but if humoring Midoriya was all it took to make him feel even an ounce better than it was worth it. 

Because you knew how it felt to be miserable, and because of that, you’d never wish that upon someone else. 

The café was quiet when you walked inside, fingers clasped tightly together like a knot in front of your lap, the light spring breeze brushing your hair away from your neck as you peered around the outside seating area. It was beautiful, the few trees lining the courtyard dotted with flowers and bursts of green, the tables set with shining copper colored silverware. You felt out of place, eyes darting down to your black sweater and blue jean skirt, sneakers scuffed up on the ends from dragging your feet just a bit too much. You felt nervous, on edge, like somehow your heart knew something was happening but you didn’t know yourself, anxious with the arranged meeting with a guy you never knew, almost unusually scared by the idea of meeting someone like yourself. 

You didn’t know if you could handle it. On the one side you figured maybe Midoriya was right, that maybe talking to someone who also lacked a soulmate would help you feel a little less alone. Maybe he was content being alone like the rest of them, or maybe, just maybe, he was like you, desperate for love and affection, miserable watching the rest of the world get all the things he wanted. You weren’t sure you wanted to see so many similarities between the two of you, scared of what it would make you think of yourself, afraid that you’d see that depression sunk into his irises like it was your own. You couldn’t ignore your problems when they were staring you head on, even if having to admit how upset you were felt like you were getting your teeth pulled. It had taken a lot to make you even tell Midoriya. That longing for someone to care had been the nudge that pushed you into his apartment days before, and eventually led you to now.

Awase was easy to spot, his hair spiked upwards, poking out from under his blue patterned headband, his pale blue flannel unbuttoned and fluttering when the wind blew, white shirt beneath rising and falling with his breathes. His jeans looked a bit loose on him when he shifted in his seat, a large bandage poking out on his wrist from beneath a glove that was encasing one of his hands, free hand grabbing at the cup of coffee in front of him. He was handsome, a few girls glancing at him as they walked past to head back into the café, but his head didn’t lift up once, his phone beside his cup when he reached forward to check the time on his phone. 

“Awase?” 

Your voice made his head lift, a small, polite smile spreading on his lips as he pushed out from the table to stand, eyes never leaving you as you approached. You pretended not to notice the slight dark circles around his eyes, wondering if he’d notice your own as well, the pair of you settling into seats opposite each other as he waved the waitress over. You ordered a coffee, shifting in your seat as you took a nervous glance around, like if you avoided his gaze long enough he would disappear. 

“Midoriya told me a lot about you.” His voice was deep, soothing, the kind of sound you could fall asleep to if you listened long enough. Your eyes trailed back over to his face, wondering if he could see how bloodshot they were, questioning if the gentle laugh that fell from his lips was genuine when his head shook side to side. “He also told me you probably weren’t going to want to talk to me much.” 

Your eyes rolled, a small laugh bubbling up in your throat, his lips spreading into a gentle smile when he got a reaction from you. You shifted slightly in your seat, in an effort to get more comfortable, hands resting on the table top as he took a sip from his mug again, the light breeze making a few flower petals rustle above you. You tried to ignore the way the light caught the ring still on your finger, tried not to feel the rock that grew in your throat when you let your eyes focus on the jewelry. 

Looking at it was becoming some weird form of self torture, a constant reminder of who you were missing and why you were missing them, a physical representation of all the things you wanted but would never get to have. Despite that, you couldn’t bring yourself to take it off, like if you did that night would have just disappeared. Like if the ring was gone you’d forget how it had felt to have his lips on yours, like the memory of his heartbeat pounding against your eardrums would cease to exist. Then again, maybe that would be good for you, to just forget everything, to not find yourself unable to sleep anymore because you kept repeating his voice saying ‘I love you’ in your head like a broken record. 

It was hard to sleep when your desires were chasing you, strangling you with their bare hands and defining you with their whispered voices. 

“It’s not that I don’t want to talk to you, necessarily, I just don’t really know what to say.” You shrugged, teeth digging into your bottom lip as you blinked away your thoughts, eyes tearing away from your ring to instead glance at the waitress as she set down your coffee with a polite nod. “It just seems odd to dump all my feelings onto anyone, let alone someone I hardly even know. I don’t usually like to talk about the things that are bothering me.” 

Awase’s head bobbed in a nod as he pursed his lips slightly, a gentle ‘ah’ falling from them as he glanced away from you to instead look at the flowers on the tree above you. A petal fell down and landed near your hand, your fingertips grazing the soft surface, careful not to break it, feeling like it was as fragile as your heart had become. Somehow however, its fragility was beautiful. Yours felt like a flaw, like you were defined by how delicate your well being had become. When people looked at you, you doubted they saw a soft and gentle person. Instead they saw someone who was heartbroken and horrible at hiding it, someone they pitied, someone who didn’t know their place in the world. 

Someone who wasn’t even sure they had such a place anymore. 

“Your soulmark is beautiful.” Your eyes trialed down to your palm when Awase’s finger tapped against it, the line of gold seeming darker today than normal, brighter, like it was laughing at how hollow you had become. You swallowed down the nerves that spiked up every time you stared at the mark, trying to quiet down the self destructive thoughts that were threatening to cloud your conscious. “It’s a shame you probably hate it.” 

“Don’t you hate yours?” His lips spread slightly at your question, a sad smile gracing his features as his eyes trailed to his hand covered by a glove, shoulders hunching like the weight of the world had been dropped back onto them. For a moment you felt guilty for asking, fidgeting in your seat and picking up your cup to take a gulp of your scolding coffee as a distraction until he looked at you again. 

“Of course I do. Everyday.” 

The conversation started to blossom, Awase talking about what he struggled with, how the few people he’d met without soulmates always seemed so different than him. How everyone else seemed content alone, but he never could, how everyone else was happy but he never really seemed to feel that way fully. Every word that came out of his mouth felt like you had said it yourself, every syllable and emotion and wince that twitched across his features were once you’d also gotten used to, that familiar ache of being different than everyone else around you dissipating if even for a few seconds. 

Midoriya and Todoroki would try to sympathize for you on the odd times you vented to them but they never really could understand, no one ever had before besides Awase, because he actually understood how you felt when you poured out words about how lonely you were. No one else had ever grasped how incredibly depressing it was to feel empty all the time, to look around and see everyone else getting to have the things you so desperately wanted. Midoriya and Todoroki had soulmates, they didn’t know what it was like to know you were meant to be alone, didn’t understand how hard it was to keep on fighting every day when all your heart wanted to do was give up. 

You talked for well over an hour, about the world and your emotions and how similarly difficult things were for the both of you, your coffees being emptied and refilled twice before they were abandoned and began to grow cold. The sun had started to dip in the sky when you took a glance at the time on your phone, Awase’s voice trailing off as he laughed softly at something he had said, lips wrapping around the edge of his mug as he sipped at his chilled drink, a sense of calm washed over the both of you from the mutual comfort of having someone understand. He made you feel a little less alone, even if once you both left the restaurant you’d go back to remembering exactly what had been making you so upset. That it wasn’t just the lack of soulmates that was making things hard, but rather being in love with someone who already had one. 

Your phone buzzed when you locked it but you didn’t look, flipping it so the screen was facing the table as Awase pulled down on the sleeves of his shirt, which had been bunched up around his elbows. It buzzed a second time, his eyes drifting to it before lifting to your face, a faint smile on his lips as you cleared your throat and folded your hands in front of yourself on the table top, nodding once towards his glove covered hand before tipping your head to the side, admiring the way the sun was bouncing off his cheekbone. 

“Why are you wearing that, by the way?” 

“My palm got cut at work.” He lifted his hand up some, tongue poking out to wet his lips as he pulled the glove up just barely, so you could see the bandages covering his wrist. “It’s mostly healed now, but my doctor suggested I keep it until I have a check up with him again, so it doesn’t get infected. The bandages don’t really stay on that well alone.” 

“I’m sorry, I’m sure it’s annoying.” You sipped your coffee, cringing from the temperature of the liquid as it slid down your throat, ears faintly picking up the sound of the door opening behind your back, not bothering to look. His shoulders rose and fell as he let the glove go, glancing down at his fingers as he wiggled them slightly, his eyes glued to them like a little kid watching their favorite show. 

“It’s not so bad, though it gets hot sometimes.” He pressed his lips into a thin line, free hand raising to scrub at the back of his neck when his head lifted properly on his shoulders, foot barely knocking into yours as he let his blue eyes flutter shut when the wind blew past the pair of you. “It covers up my soulmark, which is nice, I don’t have to stare at it all the time when I write or cook or clean. Sometimes, when I can see it, I just focus on my mark and think about how much I wish it wasn’t there, that soulmates weren’t even a thing. Sometimes I wish I could just carve it out of my palm and never have to see it again.” 

“I wish that all the time.” 

“What are you doing here?” 

Your head whipped up as your spine locked up, Awase’s eyebrows bunching together as a shadow blocked the sun that had been hitting his face. He looked as confused as you felt panicked, eyes following your body as you turned enough to stare up at Todoroki, hands shaking on the table top as his irises locked onto your own, stealing the air from your lungs. For a second you almost thought you were imagining him, that you’d finally lost your mind and were just picturing him wherever you looked. 

“Todoroki-” You felt like you couldn’t breathe, taking in the way his lips were red and chapped, like he’d been biting them too much, something he always did when he was anxious. His eyes were underlined with deep blue circles, much like your own, like he hadn’t slept in days, his hair a mess and sticking in to many directions. Somehow he still looked beautiful, even with his sweater bunched oddly around his waist, his hands fidgeting inside his coat pockets as he blinked between yourself and Awase twice. 

“You haven’t been answering my texts all week. I thought something happened to you. I thought-” He trailed off, swallowing hard enough for you to see his adam’s apple bob, his jaw tightening and relaxing repeatedly, like he was trying to stop himself from screaming. He looked so small, like the world had crushed him into a ball and was forcing him to stay there, like you pulling away from him had been enough to make him start to lose his control on things. He could usually compose himself, could handle the weight of everyone pushing him in all directions, but he looked like he’d lost that now, like he was in the middle of a maze with no map to know how to escape. “Who is this?” 

“I’m Awase.” Awase awkwardly scratched at his hair, able to sense something was happening even if he didn’t know what, his eyes flickering between yourself and Todoroki as you stared at each other. Todoroki didn’t even glance at him when he spoke, taking a step closer to you as his eyes danced once to your shaking hands, your heart leaping to your throat when his lips parted as he stared at them, taking a glance and noticing the ring as it caught the bit of sun still poking through the tree branches up above. “I can give you guys a minute, if you want.” 

You could feel the pull in your chest, could sense the way your heart was dying to have his arms wrapped around you and feel his lips against your ear while he whispered to you. You were so desperate for him, so miserable just looking at him and knowing you couldn’t touch him, not there, not in public where anyone could see you. It made your eyes burn, them welling with tears so quickly it almost seemed fake, his tongue poking out to wet his lips as his bottom lip shook just slightly, nostrils flaring and head shaking side to side. You missed him so much you could taste it on your tongue, could feel the bile rising in your throat when his eyes tore away from your own as the door opened back up behind you. 

“Todoroki, c’mon, we’re leaving.”

Momo’s voice made your spine lock up, eyes glued to Todoroki when his gaze maneuvered back to your own, feet unmoving from his spot while his mouth opened and closed, like he had a thousands things to say but had forgotten how to speak. You’d of given anything to of been alone with him then, to get to say all the things you weren’t allowed to now, to have a few more hours of touching eachothers hands and tasting each others lips, even if it would only be more fuel to torture yourself with later. 

“Todoroki.” Momo’s body came into your view but you didn’t glance at her, her head down as she grabbed onto Todoroki’s hand and gave him a gentle tug in her direction. Everything was happening so fast, his feet scuffing on the concrete as Momo tugged on him once more, her hair covering her face from your view as you struggled to stop yourself from crying. You barely noticed the way Awase’s head rose, didn’t focus on the way he sucked in a sharp breathe as Todoroki got reluctantly pulled away from you “The cab is waiting, we have to go.” 

Your body turned to watch him as he left, whipping around like you were engrossed from a film and didn’t want to miss the ending, elbow knocking into your coffee mug and sending the liquid spilling out all over the table top. Your vision was blurry as you forced yourself to look away from the couple, choking slightly on air as you grabbed a wad of napkins and tried to clean up the mess, sniffling as Awase jumped back a bit while the coffee dribbled off the edge of the table onto the ground below. It’d splashed a few dots onto his shirt, his glove completely soaked as he laughed quietly, not mentioning the tears brimming in your eyes as he tugged the fabric off his fingers and tossed into onto a dry patch of the table. 

“I’m so sorry.” You breathed, using your sleeve to try and dry your eyes, swallowing down the emotions bubbling up in your esophagus, forcing the tears back down to let out later, when you were alone and the world couldn’t see you. It was almost funny how a few seconds of being in Todoroki’s presence was enough to totally derail you, mentally slapping yourself for not thinking about how close the café was to his and Momo’s apartment. Your body turned, arms extending as you took a few napkins off a nearby empty table, turning back around to Awase as you reached for his damped, now bare, hand, his bandages having lost their grip from the coffee soaking them, now laying beside his discarded glove. 

“It was an accident.” 

“Still.” You sighed, shaking your head as you dabbed the napkins onto the face of his palm, his skin warm as he didn’t fight you off, his eyes lingering on the door Todoroki and Momo had slipped out of, a look on his face you couldn’t quite place. You flipped his palm, pressing the bandages onto the skin gently, in case his cut was still sore, not glancing at it as you focused on his face for a moment longer. “I’m really sorry.” 

“It’s okay, really.” He smiled lazily, head shaking as he blinked a few times, like he was trying to snap himself out of a daze. Your head dipped down, throat clearing as you moved the napkins away from his palm and tossed them onto the table top. You paused, eyes squinting as you stared down at his skin, heart speeding up in your chest when you felt all the hairs on your body stand on end. His soulmark was visible, even with the small cut running across his palm, your fingers shaking as you traced hesitantly against it. 

Because there on his palm were dark, blueberry colored lines, branching out from the middle onto each of his fingertips, like the branches of a tree. Because there on his hand was his soulmark, bold and unmistakably recognizable, one you had memorized the shape of a long time ago, one you couldn’t forget if you ever even wanted to. 

You had seen his mark before. 

Because his mark was the same as Todoroki’s.

-

[previous] - [next]

[paper-n-ashes]

sparks and embers - chapter 5

Characters: Poe Dameron x Original Female Character, Kylo Ren x Original Female Character

Story Tags: Explicit (18+), Canon Compliant/Divergent (Set after TLJ), First Person POV, Love Triangle, Slow Burn, Enemies to Lovers, Porn with Plot, Hurt/Comfort, Kylo Ren hates Poe Dameron

Chapter 5 - Bubble

Words: 5.8k

Chapter Tags/Warnings: Tiny mentions of illness, mention of parental death, gratuitous use of the 'there was only one bed?' trope

Read on AO3 or Start from the beginning

~

I scurried away as lightly as my feet could take me, heart thumping as I made it to the other side of my quarter’s door. Holding my breath, I listened as Poe shuffled down the hallway, waiting for him to knock on the wooden shield I was hiding behind, exposing his knowledge of what I’d done. But it never came, instead hearing his hobbling steps enter the ‘fresher, water hissing out of the tap.

Thank the stars, maybe I’m safe.

I hurried to shut off any remaining light sources, climbing into my bed to bury my face under the sheets. Holding myself in frozen silence, the rushing water stopped, and muffled uneven footsteps paced back down the hallway.

Eventually, the realisation of what had happened started to settle into my brain. What I’d heard him do. What I’d done. What he’d said.

He was thinking of me.

A blush prickled my cheeks, the heat in my lower abdomen dulled but still noticeable. I tried desperately not to think of what could have happened if we’d kissed earlier, if I hadn’t pulled away so sharply. It nagged at me, this sudden desire damning me for not giving in to the urges ignited from Poe’s presence. I would have known what his skin felt like connected to mine, I would have known the smell of his sweat, I would have known what his lips tasted-

Stop doing this to yourself. It will only hurt more.

My eyes squeezed shut, obeying what the voice told me. I began to make a list of everything I had to carry out when the next day broke, the patients that had standing appointments, the treatment notes I had still yet to finish.

Being in my own bed for the first time in days made it easier for me to drift off into a quiet slumber.

*

When my chronometer buzzed at 0700 I groggily opened my eyes to the new morning, wishing I’d had more than 4 and a half hours’ worth of sleep. I nuzzled my face into the pillow for a few moments, hoping for nothing more than to extend my peaceful resting.

But my first consultation was set to take place within the hour, and I still had to make time to do the vitals check on Poe that had to be… rescheduled. A pang of embarrassment and heat spread quickly through my chest at the memories, rustling it down into the back of my consciousness. I needed to start focusing on my work again.

No more distractions.

Pulling myself up slowly from the bed, my eyes glanced outside the window to the still rising sun, rays of light now pouring in past the clear glass and hitting me with a subtle warmth as my legs moved over the side of the mattress. I allowed myself to bask in it for a minute or two, hoping it would somehow invigorate my enthusiasm for the day ahead.

No such luck.

Making my way into the ensuite fresher, I frowned as my reflection came into view. I looked exhausted. Copper hair was beginning to unravel out of the low plait I spent most days wearing, errant strands stuck to the skin on my forehead. A rosiness had settled into my cheeks, starkly contrasted to the rest of my face, another indication of the minimal sleep I’d had.

My eyes were slightly droopy, hazel irises only half visible. Sluggishly, I took the elastic holding together the weaves of my plait and shook the hair free, fingers combing through to soften out the knots created from tossing in the night.

Slipping off my clothes, I stepped into the shower, pressing the start button to an instant rush of molten water, basking in the sensation of the pressured stream massaging my aching muscles. I hadn’t realised how sore I was from the long trek I’d completed for Poe, but it was all too noticeable now when my body pulsed in delight from the searing heat flowing into my skin.

After freshening up to my normal state of being and donning my usual work attire - a light button up blouse and deep navy slacks, I worked to reform my hair into a loose plait that sat over my shoulder, twisting the strands smoothly down my chest.

It took me a few minutes of hesitation before I could push myself to walk out of my quarters. I was nervous. Not only for the way Poe and I parted, but also for how I’d caught him hours later. How was I supposed to not blush after hearing the way he moaned my name? How was I not supposed to refrain from thinking about the way it had made me come instantly?

He’s your patient. Just treat him like anybody else.

That’s the thought that ricocheted through my mind as I paced down the hallway, steady breaths preparing me for the rush of bashfulness I knew I wouldn’t be able to avoid. Rounding the corner, I saw the hospital drapes had been closed to shield Poe’s bed from view, moving closer to hear the relaxed sounds of his breathing muffled through them.

Damn, he was still sleeping.

I had been hoping he would already be awake, simply to avoid the awkward disturbance of restful sleep. I hated it, hated shaking patients into consciousness just to prod them with medical equipment. I could always tell they despised me for it. But there was no other option. I had put this off for long enough.

My fingers slipped through the drapes’ opening and slowly forced them apart, thinking Poe’s eyes would immediately open at the rattling of metal rings against the rail. But as my stare scanned his body, then his face, he was still snoozing soundly. And it was anything but elegant.

He laid on his back, diagonal across the length of the mattress, the uninjured leg poking out from the sheets and foot completely free from the support of the bed. His casted arm was resting on his stomach, hand reached under the night shirt, exposing his lower abdominal muscles and the flickers of dark body hair trailing down from his navel. The other, bandaged arm was flung backwards over his pillow, face pressed into the cloth covered bicep, mouth hanging open, chest slowly rising and falling in his deep slumber. I wanted to giggle, but settled for a quick smirk before moving to the bedside.

Placing a hand on his shoulder, I shook him gently. “Poe?”

He rustled only slightly, mouth closing and forming into what I could only conceive as a smile.

“Poe?” I called to him again, the pressure on his shoulder harder this time. “It’s time to wake up.”

“Alex?” he breathed sweetly, eyelids still not unlocked, my chest tightening at the way he said my name. I barely had time to process it when his eyes suddenly flitted open, pupils widening at seeing my face not far from his. He recoiled almost instantly, neck sprouting upwards from the pillow in surprise, quickly jerking around to survey his surroundings.

“I’m sorry to wake you,” I said tenderly as he rushed himself back into a normal lying position. “It’s just… I need to take your vitals and check how those burns are healing.”

He shook his head rapidly in an attempt to rid himself of the morning haze. “Sure,” he coughed, voice gravelly. “Go for it.”

I pulled the leads from their hooks on the wall and positioned them on him, both of us pitted in silence. He wouldn’t look at me as I waited for the results to appear, instead staring straight at his feet, struggling to hold down the irritability peeking though in his expression.

“You’re not much of a morning person, are you?” I observed, failing to stifle a laugh.

He simply shook his head, still not letting his eyes deviate. “I usually am. This morning… Not so much.”

“Did you not sleep very well?” I began to enter his stable vitals onto my datapad, writing a few notes detailing his recovery so far.

His jaw tightened. “I didn’t get to sleep until pretty late.”

“Oh,” I breathed, urgently trying to abate the rush of blood to both my cheeks and in between my legs. “Were you in pain? Hungry? I’m sorry I didn’t come and check on you.”

I wasn’t about to tell him that I’d tried and failed. I didn’t want to embarrass the both of us by reciting how I managed to catch him in such a… vulnerable position.

“You’re sorry?” he puzzled, eyes finally reaching mine as I sheepishly looked up from my datapad.

“Well… um… yeah. What happened last night-”

“Stop,” Poe interrupted, his expression finally softening. “Stop apologising. I’m the one who should be asking for forgiveness.”

“But I-”

“Alex.” Poe stopped me as I started to unravel the edge of his bandage. “I shouldn’t have been so… forward. You were right. It was inappropriate. You’re... my doctor, and I shouldn’t have put you in such an uncomfortable position.” There was a tinge of shame flickering in his bronzed irises, his jaw taut. I could sense there was still more waiting on his tongue. But I didn’t want to pursue it further than that. I didn’t want to get caught in the black hole of wondering why he’d felt so strongly in that moment to kiss me.

“Let’s just both be sorry and forget it ever happened,” I smiled.

He reciprocated my soft grin. “Sounds great.”

Neither of us were going to forget about it.

*

“Thanks so much Miss Jago!”

I waved my midday patients off from the front entrance, the burnt, crumbling ruins of Poe’s X-wing still disturbing my view of the Raxus countryside now brightly illuminated in the heat of the noontime sun.

“See you in a month!” I called as the small children, twin siblings, scurried to catch up with their parents who had already begun their several hour journey home. As much as their monthly visits warmed me, I hated they had to make it so often. It was unfortunately necessary to treat the musculoskeletal disease they had been born with - one that slowly ate away at their muscles. They were mere infants when their parents had brought them to my door, tiny little bodies wasting away for an undiscernible reason. Thankfully with a diagnosis, regular check-ups, injections and medication, I’d helped them grow into normal little kids.

This was the impact I wanted on the world.

I’d left Poe to his own devices after finalising my assessment of his injuries. His X-rays indicated adequate signs of healing, most of his wounds mere red lines, and the severe burn on his left arm had healed extensively, so much so that I hadn’t needed to replace the bandage over his skin.

It was still obvious he’d sustained damage, but the scarring that’s taken place of the seared flesh looked like it had been healing for a long time. I knew in my bones that it wasn’t the bacta that did all that work, and hoped yet again Poe wouldn’t somehow come to that realisation.

“Huh, I thought you said there was third degree burns under there,” he had questioned, still seeming impressed.

“There was,” I answered shortly. “Bacta and time does the trick.”

He hadn’t inquired beyond that, once again accepting bacta as a wondrous miracle cure. Which it was, but not to this extent.

I stepped back into the clinic room and returned to my computer, typing a few last notes into the twins’ file.

“They were cute,” Poe chirped across the room, sitting at the portable desk I’d provided for him to continue working on BB-8 while I was with patients.

“I’ve been seeing them since they were babies,” I said flatly, still concerned with my inputting.

“I can tell,” he added. “They actually seem excited about coming to the doctor. Didn’t even cry when you gave them the needles. They must like you.”

I hoped he was too far away to see the manifestation of a stroked ego display on my face. Hitting enter on the last of my records, I stood out of the chair to make my way to Poe’s makeshift workstation. “How’s the repairs coming along on your little friend?”

“Slow,” he huffed. “Especially with my arm still in this cast.” He looked up at me then, asking a silent question.

“No,” I stated sharply. “The cast isn’t coming off until tomorrow.”

He made a playful attempt at a frown and returned his concentration to the complicated weave of wire and metal in front of him. Humans, and most aliens, seemed a lot less complicated to fix than this.

“The crash really messed him up bad huh?” I noted, kind of too obviously.

“Yeah, but his circuits seem to be a little more fried than I would have expected. He’s got big impact dents, a decent amount of smoke and fire damage, but that doesn’t really explain a lot of the wiring damage I’m seeing in here.” Poe pointed to the domed inside of BB’s head, a maze of tiny circuit boards connected to an absolute mess of melted copper wires.

I didn’t have a very educated mind concerning robotics, but still made my guess anyway. “Electrical sparks maybe?”

“Hm,” Poe hummed. “It seems that way. Although hardly anything that would have been caused by fire or ejection into a concrete wall.” He was deep in thought again, attempting to precisely pull apart the wires with fine pliers. But he was right, the cast did impinge on the proper use of his hand.

“How about a break?” I chimed, truly believing he needed it.

He raised an eyebrow. “What kind of break?”

“A break from this, using your brain and uh… hands.” I tried to smile cheerfully but it felt a little more like pity. “We could go for a walk, get your rehabilitation started.”

Poe’s eyes sparkled at my suggestion. “Oh thank the maker, I thought you were never letting me out of here.”

I rolled my eyes. “I’ll take that as a yes then?”

“Absolutely!”

*

It took an infuriatingly long time to convince Poe to use any type of walking aid, outright refusing the z-frame, snubbing the bilateral crutches, only begrudgingly accepting to use the walking cane he was leaning on now as he finally got a chance to inspect the remnants of his near-fatal crash landing.

“I made it out of that,” he said faintly, and I couldn’t decipher whether it was a question.

“Just,” I reminded him.

He turned to look at me, eyes widened, glowing with disbelief. “Have I said thank you enough yet?”

“You’re getting there,” I chuckled. “You’re just lucky you crashed on my doorstep. Who knows what would have happened otherwise…”

I knew. He’d be dead.

“Lucky is right,” he mused, the shimmer in his eyes not having faded yet.

“Come on, let’s get you walking.”

I turned in the direction of the north village’s path, stepping in relaxed strides as to not tempt Poe into further straining himself. He followed my instruction, limping beside, albeit much less unsteady than he’d been without the cane.

We were quiet as I allowed him to focus on the task of walking, not wishing to distract him from learning how to safely put one foot in front of the other again. Soon he had settled into a steady rhythm, and I glanced sideways to see Poe’s face finally survey his surroundings.

Luscious green fields rolled out in every direction in front of us, large plots of land lined with wheat grass and varying vegetation, all separated by short, rustic wooden fences. Trees dotted the path we took, tall and flourishing from years of undisturbed growth. I could hear the canaries whose nests littered their branches start to chitter at the sound of our footsteps, many high-pitched chirps fluttering from under the cover of shrubbery.

“It’s beautiful here,” Poe marvelled, his face almost as bright as the sun that shone over us. “I can see why you picked this place.”

I smiled warmly. “I did a small amount of research.”

Hours and hours.

“Evidently. Although, a thought did come to me…”

“Hm?”

Poe was quiet for a few beats as we strolled slowly along the gravel path, then asked, “Why didn’t you bring anyone with you? Why do this all alone? Don’t you miss your family?”

Kriff. Pulling out all the difficult questions.

“Well… I suppose I’ve always worked best alone. Even through my training I found it would take me less time to come to the correct answer or work through a procedure if I didn’t have anyone interrupting me.” I stopped with a realisation of how the words spilled out my mouth. “Uh… did that sound too conceited?”

Poe chuckled. “A little. But I understand. Some people are just wired that way.”

I laughed with him in response, hoping he would forget the rest of his queries.

“Alright, I can understand the lack of co-workers. But what about family? Raxus is an incredibly far place to travel from Coruscant. I can’t imagine you simply cut all ties and left one day to live in the Outer Rim, alone.”

Yet that was the cold reality, the truth lingering through every day I spent on this planet.

“Are you okay?”

Poe had noticed the shift in my mood, the subtle pain in my expression.

I nodded with a smile that didn’t dissolve into the rest of my face. “They understood. They just wanted me to be happy.” I swallowed slowly, focusing all my concentration on keeping the tears from forming at my eyes.

I need to get off this subject fast.

“What about your parents, don’t you miss them while flying to every corner of the galaxy for the Resistance?”

Poe stopped suddenly, myself following suit, and he smirked a little. “I do. My father is on Yavin 4, lending a hand to the civilian defence of the colony I grew up in. And my mother…” His eyes softened as he reminisced, the smile never fading from his lips. “She passed when I was 8, so I’ve... missed her for a long time. And I’m sure she misses me from wherever she is now.”

Our eyes met, a swirl of profound soothing energy radiating between us under the midday sun. He didn’t know it, but the shared feeling of loss in the family we would never be able to see again was a comfort to me, to know someone else sensed the weight of grief on their shoulders too.

We were still for a few moments, both ruminating within our own minds, until our footsteps simultaneously crackled on the ground again. As we walked, I could almost feel a tangible stripping of the hardened layers I’d built over years to frame my consciousness, never daring to let anyone get too close to the core, the truth.

The way Poe spoke without hesitation of consequences, the way he so willingly trusted me, the lightness that it made me feel, I couldn’t help but want to mirror his energy. I wanted to let him in.

You’ll regret it.

You know what? I don’t care.

*

At first we talked of our childhoods, recounting the differences between the sprawling, artificial cityscape of Coruscant and the vast jungles and rainforests that encompassed Yavin 4. Poe spoke of climbing Massassi trees with his father, attempting to learn how to track Woolamanders by scent alone, and his first hazy memories of sitting on his mother’s lap, playing with the controls of an X-wing.

My memories were more rudimentary by far, as I recalled my schooling in classes of hundreds, learning how to transverse the maze-like Level 4860 without becoming lost, and the rare trips to the higher levels that I journeyed with my parents just to see the sky.

As we made our way back towards the clinic, we regaled each other of the differing sides of war, him attempting to avoid the injuries of battle while I took pride in mending them. It was effortless the way we conversed, a lack of discussion never opening up to an awkward void of silence. I couldn’t remember the last time I felt so weightless, the heavy shackles of my long-kept secret feeling looser around my soul.

A twinge of disappointment tugged at me once we’d reached the clinic building again, wanting to remain in this floating bubble of contentment for so much longer. But there were still patients to see.

Poe was visibly drained from our long hike, a small tremor of exhaustion and pain beginning to tremble through his body as he eventually hobbled back into his hospital bed. I was able to renew his analgesia drip before a knock at the door indicated my 1400 appointment had arrived, albeit a little early.

To my surprise, and relief, it was a small crew of east village tradesmen, tools in hand, having carted along the scrap parts that would hopefully put my comm-tower back in working order. A familiar, gruff looking man with kind eyes, salt and pepper hair and a short beard framing his jaw, reached out to greet me.

“Alexys!”

“Vixur,” I beamed back, embracing him in a curt hug. “Thank you so much for coming. I hope the trek wasn’t too tiring.”

“Nothing we haven’t done before.”

The 3 others with him nodded in agreement. I recognised their faces but couldn’t find their names hidden away in my brain. They were all considerably younger, so I assumed they hadn’t needed my care so much over the last couple of years.

“These are a few my trade students, to help me. So… where’s this broken comm-tower?”

My eyes moved to look behind them. “Uh... under the wreckage. Just over there.”

They all craned their necks around in unison, Vixur’s face falling into look of unease. “This might take a little longer than expected Miss Jago.”

I gritted my teeth into an apologetic smile. “I know. But anything you can do to get it working would be unimaginably helpful. The comm-tower allows me to order supplies and do my research. I’ll be useless without it after too long.”

“Guess we better get to work then,” Vixur remarked, giving me a warm smile before ushering his crew towards the metal debris.

My chest thumped with appreciation for the older gentleman I’d known since I’d arrived on Raxus, one of the few who volunteered their time to assist in building my clinic. It was one of the things that cemented my belief I’d made the right choice to settle on this planet, just to help people like him.

As the four men began to carefully take apart the burnt metal frame of the X-wing, I returned inside to find Poe already back behind the workstation with BB-8’s insides splayed across the metal.

“I thought you were resting,” I scolded.

He didn’t look up, attempting exactly what he’d been struggling with before leaving the clinic. “I was bored. I’d rather be sore and busy.”

I chuckled under my breath, my rear almost reaching my desk chair before another knock resonated into the room.

*

An infected foot wound, an angry rash, a burning pain during urination. Just a few of the patients whose appointments brought little in the way of fascination for my afternoon.

Poe continued his work silently behind the hospital curtain to provide at least some privacy for my examinations. I felt the aura behind the screen grow intense with repulsion as I discussed the less than glamourous issues with my patients, burying the need to smile at the thought of Poe’s sickened face. Being in this line of work for so long allowed me a resistance to the kind of aversion most people felt being faced with nauseating and embarrassing conditions of the human body.

I had just waved farewell to my last patient of the day, when Poe’s voice suddenly piped from behind me. “How do you do this every day? I thought I was going to be sick hearing that woman talk about her foot,” he winced.

I turned to him and raised an eyebrow. “You’ve been in battle, but can’t handle a little pus?”

“Blood and ugh… pus… are two completely different things.”

“Hm… Poe Dameron, pilot extraordinaire, Commander of the Resistance fleet, battle hardened military man, is afraid of a little pus?”

He took my mocking with good humour, conceding. “Don’t tell anyone okay? Wouldn’t want my enemies knowing my one weakness.”

“Somehow I don’t think I’ll be making contact to help out the First Order anytime soon.”

“I would hope so,” he stated lightly, “We don’t need someone like you patching up all the holes we put in their soldiers.”

I knew logically he meant it as a joke, but it still minced at my insides, a flush of irritation coursing through me, and he could tell when my face fell.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, remorseful. “When you’ve been involved in war for so long it’s easy to become a little… indifferent about the other side’s casualties.”

Indifferent? More like ignorant.

How stone hearted did one have to be to consider the deaths of millions at the hands of fleets and armies just par for the course? To deem the deaths of those who just happened to be on the opposing side not even worth a second thought?

I worked my whole life to keep people’s hearts beating, and people like him could so easily stop them, seemingly without guilt. He made my work, past and present, feel absolutely pointless.

People would keep dying as collateral, and those who sentenced them to that fate didn’t even care.

All the positive emotions that had bubbled up for Poe during our walk today suddenly popped, disappearing into the air in an instant, leaving little behind.

I looked to Poe with narrowed eyes, my tone icy. “Good thing there’s people like me who actually value life instead of readily wanting to take it.” I marched from his hunched frame towards the hallway, too tired from the day to spend more time arguing about war again.

“Alex! Wait a second! I didn’t mean it like that!” he echoed from behind me, his voice ricocheting off the walls as I stormed away.

Slamming the door of my quarters, it was difficult to deny the tears of frustration threatening to break from my eyes. I feared his stubbornness wouldn’t allow any reprieve, and it appeared I was correct when I heard his disjointed footsteps becoming louder. Gritting my teeth, I felt the burning sensation of bile simmering in my stomach. His knock was faint, and not accompanied by his voice asking for me.

I strode back to the door and swung it open. “What?!”

Poe’s eyes grew wide at my snapping question, not appearing as hostile as I’d imagined. “The tradesman is at the door asking for you,” he muttered sheepishly. I was rattled for a moment at his lack of antagonism, before pacing back to the front entrance as he slunk onto the hallway wall, letting me pass by without challenge.

Vixur was there to greet me just inside the door, a sly smirk curling his lips. “Who was that Alexys?”

“He’s a patient, the one who survived the crash that wrecked my comm-tower,” I grumbled, in no mood for Vixur’s assumptions.

“Right. Sure.” His smile didn’t fade quickly enough for my liking. “Anyway, we’ve managed to clear most of the wreckage, and start our rebuild. But I’m afraid it’s still not even close to being finished.”

“I can’t say I wasn’t expecting that. Sorry it’s such a big job.”

“It’s perfectly alright, I had a feeling you wouldn’t have made a trip to the village unless it was important. We’ll set up camp out here for the night and hopefully have it running tomorrow.”

The thought of these men shivering in the frosty Raxus night, for what was really Poe’s benefit, made me feel heavy with quiet fury.

“No Vixur!” I protested. “You and your students don’t need to spend the night out in the cold! I’ve got four hospital beds in here, and they’re at least somewhat comfier than the ground. And so much warmer.”

“I thought you said you had a patient?” Vixur’s eyes drifted behind me, and I turned to see Poe leaning against the hallway door.

“Oh, he doesn’t require my treatment anymore. I’ll find a place for him. There’s plenty of floor space in this clinic.”

Vixur seemed to successfully gauge my mood, unease twisting his expression. “It wouldn’t feel right taking away a bed from the man who survived that crash.”

“It’s fine, really. He hasn’t proven to be half as selfless as you and your men have been today. It’s honestly the least I could do for you.”

I could sense why Vixur was wary. I had never acted like this before, vindictive and petty. But Poe’s hideously callous mindset had wrestled out a restrained wrath that was bubbling to the surface.

“Well… okay then. I’ll round up my boys and bring them inside. Much appreciated Alex.”

I swivelled on my heels to Poe’s downcast expression, knowing he’d listened to the conversation. “You can move BB-8 and your things into my office,” I said flatly, before beginning to strip the sheets off the bed he had called his for the past couple of days.

He didn’t say anything, mouth clamped shut as he followed my orders and collected as much of BB as possible into his arms.

It took him a couple of trips, and I faintly twinged with contrition as he limped back and forth from my study. But it was quickly buried in the heap of bitterness weighing heavy in my chest.

*

After renewing the sheets of the bed and helping the men settle into the clinic for the night, I showed them where to help themselves to my food stocks and offered them use of the ‘fresher. They were hideously thankful, and it made me contemplate what kind of sleeping arrangements they had in their village to be so appreciative of the lumpy hospital grade mattress I was providing them. It only soured my mood even more.

Yet another thing that war bestows.

It was mildly surprising that Poe didn’t pounce on an opportunity to debate with me in a way to clarify his stance, wondering how long he would let me have the last word. He had skulked away into the study to continue his repair on BB-8, his solemn aura a far contrast to the spiky air that hung in the air around me.

I fell into my usual nightly routine of reading, bathing, and dinner, begrudgingly making Poe a meal and placing it in front of him without muttering a word. He let out a soft ‘thank you’ as I left back to my quarters, and the same pang of guilt tried to rise up again, this time a lot harder to submerge.

It didn’t sit well in my body, this cold resentment that continued to churn through my blood. It felt foreign and unknown to my usual state of being. I knew it was because I hadn’t had to face a person like this, who deemed war and death necessary companions, in such a long time. I found myself impatient for Poe to leave, to return to an existence being surrounded only by those who had been too traumatised by war to ever consider it an acceptable burden in life.

It was starting to get late in the evening, my weariness from the day becoming increasingly powerful as I lounged on my sofa, waiting for Poe to get out the ‘fresher so I could instruct him he was to use my bed for sleep tonight. The doctor side of my brain had eventually won despite my irritation, pressing that he was still a man who had painful injuries and needed a comfortable place to rest them.

The ‘fresher suddenly opened, Poe rushing past my door back into the office before I had a chance to stop him.

“Poe?”

He slinked his head around the corner first, seemingly startled I had called for him, before shifting his body slowly into the entryway.

“Yeah?” His voice was gentle, albeit slightly hollow.

“You’ll be sleeping in my bed tonight,” I asserted, tone firm and professional.

Poe cocked his head to the side. “With you?”

“No,” I sighed, exasperated, thinking that fact would have been obvious. “I’ll be on the couch.” I patted the pillow and blanket I had beside me.

“Right, of course,” he mumbled. “I thought you had banished me to the floor.”

I took in a slow breath, trying to be more cordial than I felt. “It wouldn’t be good for your recovery.”

“You don’t have to. I could take the couch.”

I shook my head. “It wasn’t a question.”

“Right,” he conceded, quicker than I expected. “Are you going to sleep now?”

“Yeah,” I yawned. “As your doctor, I would suggest you do the same.”

His face seemed bruised at my coldness, and I felt a lump form in my throat as guilt tried incessantly to escape into my expression. But I was too tired to care anymore, and sleep would mean I was closer to being free of his mood-altering presence.

I pulled the pillow over to the opposite side of the sofa and fluffed out the blanket so I could slip myself under it, facing away from Poe still self-consciously standing at the door. I heard him eventually tread over to my bed and climb in, the faint rustling of fabric filling the air until there was silence between us, yet again.

*

I tried my best to sleep. But I was restless, mostly from the discomfort of my sleeping place, the couch providing little in the way of relaxation for my tired body. There was also an incessant torrent of thoughts nagging at me, unable to stop turning over the conflicting emotions I had towards Poe.

In such a short time I felt so close to him, so connected, both care and desire climbing higher with our time together. Now that already fragile bond was frayed at the edges, threatening to snap in two.

In reality I barely knew him, spending only a handful of days in each other’s lives, yet somehow within that meek time frame I’d felt more attached to this man than anyone I’d encountered in my lifetime.

But his differing morals couldn’t be denied, and they wounded my soul, made me feel useless in this already overwhelming universe. What hope did this galaxy have when even the self-proclaimed heroes of the war don’t see themselves as murderers too? Did they think because their ideals were more noble that it allowed them to freely kill without care?

It didn’t seem to matter what side someone found themselves fighting for. Each had different causes, different reasons behind their crusade, but they produced the same outcome. A whole lot of death.

I heard Poe sit up all of a sudden. “Alex?”

“Hm?” I answered groggily.

“Can we talk?”

~

Next Chapter

Tag list: @tlcwrites @roanniom @foxilayde @blackberries45 @hopeamarsu @caillea @princessxkenobi @leatherboundbirate @blowthatpieceofjunk @mylifeisactuallyamess @poedameronloverx @lightsinthedistancee @paterson-blue​

(Please let me know if you wanted to be added)