#a healthy sleep schedule? what's that?

[bloomshroomz]

I think I'm aroallo?

CW: sex mentions, talk about aroallo stereotypes

I think I'm aroallo. I've been identifying as aroace for a while now, but I keep saying to my girlfriend, "I feel like I might not be asexual after all." I've been saying that again and again for months. Her response is always, "You're probably not."

I don't question my aromanticism at all. It's one aspect of my identity that I'm very sure about. But my asexuality, on the other hand... I don't think that I'm really ace. I feel like I've been clinging to the asexual label because of the assumptions people make about aroallos. Being aroace is one thing, but being aroallo is a lot harder for me to accept.

People tend to assume that aroallos are always hypersexual, or always loveless, or always prioritize sex above all else when it comes to their relationships with people. And all of those things are valid experiences, but they don't apply to me personally.

I've been trying to put it into words... People think that a lack of romantic attraction necessitates an amplified sexual attraction. Like just because I'm aro, I must be "more sexual" than other allosexual people. It seems like people think sexuality has to be "balanced out" with romance. But I'm not particularly sexual; I'm just not ace.

Tangentially related, this idea that "no romantic attraction = amplified sexual attraction" also seemed really prevalent in SAM discourse a while back. One of the big arguments people used against romantic orientation labels was that they were "oversexualizing" sexuality labels or "reducing everything to sex" by separating the romantic aspect from the sexual aspect.

I'm talking about the people who would say shit like, "Why would you call yourself biromantic instead of bisexual? Are you implying that bisexual people only care about sex?" when they saw a biromantic ace. That sort of "logic."

And the implication with that argument is, if the tables were turned (i.e. they were bisexual and aromantic), it would be appalling to them. And it was especially paired with the assumption that sex - romance = oversexualized, in whatever way "oversexualized" may be defined. Lots of sex negativity mixed in with the discourse.

On another note, I've voiced my disdain for the Attraction Layer Cake elsewhere before. There are a lot of problems with it, but I'm going to focus on the "Crimson" part specifically: the crimson layer is the only option if you're aromantic without being asexual. That and "Red" I suppose, but the red layer could describe any allosexual orientation, whether aromantic or not.

Crimson is labeled as aromantic sexuality, which is a problem in and of itself. It should say aromantic allosexuality. But that's not the part I take the most issue with. I hate the description.

"The purpose of relationships is primarily sexuality. Romance is not specifically desired."

Again, there's nothing wrong with prioritizing or emphasizing sexuality. But that's not an inherent aspect of being aroallo, and it doesn't describe me personally. The primary purpose of my relationships is emotional connection. Sex is just a cool thing that I may or may not do with people.

Also, "relationships" is vague. Does it mean relationships in general, regardless of whether they're romantic, platonic, etc? In that case, that's a huge generalization of the many types of relationships aroallos may have.

Or does it specifically refer to romantic relationships? In that case, that's also a huge generalization, because it assumes aroallos will have romantic partners, and it implies that it's only okay to have sex with people if you're also romantically involved.

Aromantic people also have to deal with a lot of explicitly negative stereotypes. Manipulative, abusive, cruel. I feel like these assumptions get amplified when you're aroallo specifically. A lot of people think that explicitly wanting sex, without explicitly wanting romance, automatically makes you a horrible person. I'm too exhausted to even delve into these stereotypes.

All I'll say is, there's nothing wrong with wanting sex, and there's nothing wrong with having no desire for romance. Sexual attraction doesn't need to be "justified" via romantic attraction, and sex doesn't need to be "justified" via romance. As long as everyone is consenting and upfront with their intentions, whose business is it anyways?

I'm not 100% sure if I'm allosexual. But after months of saying, "I don't think I'm asexual after all," I think it's safe to say that I'm not aroace. Maybe I'm greysexual at most, but eh. Whether I'm allosexual or ace-spec, there's one thing I'm certain of: I'm more aro than I am ace, if I'm even ace-spec at all.

I'm sitting here sort of feeling... Out of place. Like, everywhere. I'm a romance-indifferent aroallo, who isn't heavily sexual, but still enjoys sex. It's sort of isolating, I guess. It would be reassuring to see more people with similar experiences.

Slightly unrelated, but my primary special interest is Littlest Pet Shop, and I love putting these little guys on pride flags. So, here's the aroallo flag with a bunny on it. Makes me happy despite all the confusion and conflicted feelings

[danis-artss]

UwU redrew another screenshot

Lets hope ill get like 5 hours of sleep today before school

Sigh.....

Oh, and this one iiiiiiis part of an open dtiys ! By @daily-dose-of-danno uwu

https://www.tumblr.com/daily-dose-of-danno/722618500667015168?source=share

Just a quick scribble tho lol

[soullessjack]

6am exhaustion posting but it’s very funny to me that jack is compared to so many serpents, the biblical serpent in the garden. the ouroboros. the black snake. and then he loves fantasy movies with heroes that crush villains. he reads fairy tales like sleeping beauty, fairy tales that predominantly have knights in shining armor slaying the dragon or the serpent. obviously with him wanting to be a hero he’d follow the KISH archetype, but also look. serpents are medievally satanic symbols. fairy tales are majority stemmed in European Christianity. He’s literally a dragon that wants to be a knight . A satanic if not Thee Satanic Serpent wanting to be a hero and a Knight In Shining Armor and actively partaking in slaying other beasts for acceptance. this vision came to me with caffeine and zero sleep but do you see it .do you see how this is insane and also funny. Do you understand it …..

[mikichko]

folks who have demanding jobs: how the hell do y’all get any writing done?

[avephelis]

*hand raise* um quastion does anyone have suggestion for not getting absolutely exhausted by 7pm it is getting inconvenient

[chiff0n-echz]

Jester passive Nightmare ✷

[topsyturvy-turtely]

well i suppose 7h of sleep are more than 6...

[cptnwynnie]

Some doodles for @mashpotatoequeen’s fic forks since I reread it for the millionth time

[hotheadedhero]

Last night is the first I've slept decently in the last few weeks and, oh man, it's good stuff. How do some of y'all do this every night?? Consistently??

[denako]

Hey guys! Life update since i haven't posted anything in some time

College started three days ago and

[floral-hex]

ayyyyyyy I set up an appointment for medication this Friday (telemedicine but whatever) and I get to see my former therapist again later this month. I’m kind of excited. More than kind of. Little sad, but I’m lonely and want to talk to someone. He’s a real cool dude. I’m a little worried to trauma dump the last 6 months on him, but whatever, it beats sitting there for an hour feeling like I’m wasting his time and struggling to think of things to say. dang dang dang, I’m excited.

[yakultii]

ok but reason no 2 why imma move back into a sharehouse when lease is up so I don’t have to worry ab randomly dying bc it’s not necessarily death that scares me but the literal rotting alone in my apartment for days and literally no one will know bc I have no human interactions except sometimes my mum texts me every few days (she’s 4hr away) but she’ll think I’m just being rude and ignoring her which makes me even sadder which is all hella ironic cos I wouldn’t be here anyway but my anxiety transcends all dimensions … like also it doesn’t scare me the fact I’d be rotting it’s more like the anxiety I’d get if I ever did a prank pretending to not know something cause I’d wanna tell them right away I want them to know I know, I can’t stand them not knowing the truth not knowing that I know the truth I always want people to know things idk why I’m like this why do they need know things when I never really know anything

[bluishfrog]

gm blu :D

Good morning, I am SLEEPY

[strixcattus]

The "the Voices are to you as the Vessels are to the base Princess" theory basically spontaneously generated as a result of dangerous levels of sleep deprivation combining with my innate need to overthink transforming into a semi-conscious "the Shifting Mound was right" monologue that spat it out as a byproduct, and I'm still not sure how closely I subscribe to it

But man if I wasn't on to something there

[whoa-where-did-the-pancakes-go]

How the fuck is Dallon Weekes real. Actually how.

[hauntingofhouses]

it's the last week of my break and i'm really out here pulling all-nighters to carve up some time to write and work on my hobbies before the new semester starts during which i will have to once again start acting like i am a professional grown adult who knows what i'm doing and i'm not just a living corpse who is rotting on the inside. i'm having a blast (<- insane)