#a drummer Bard because why not!

[libanezink]

you’ll hear her drumming! 🥁

[0luna123]

HEAR ME OUT: ATSV DnD AU:

Miles: tiefling rogue. Mostly joined because of Gwen, not knowing what's really in store.

Miles G: tiefling hand-to-hand warrior. For the sake of clarity, most call him Gonzalo. Dragged into this by his twin.

Gwen: half-elf drummer bard. Could be considered a leader. Ran away from her home, after her dad, a head guard, found out who she is: a vigilante (wrongly) accused of murder.

Hobie: elf bard? rogue? warrior? artificer? SORCERER? DRUID?! Who knows. Wields a lute. Partially lost the left side of his face, half of his left fingers and almost both his legs in an explosion. Deaf in one ear (gee I wonder why?). Joined to look after his drummer, stayed to look after the others. Makes most of the equipment his teammates wield, from grappling hooks to explosives.

Pavitr: human warrior. Joined out of support for his friends, unaware of the horrors.

Other characters, you may add things here if you want:

Miguel: once human, now cursed, more known as a "vampire" under the name of Black Widow. Actual Sorcerer.

Peter B: Traveling family man, merchant. Knows Black Widow's situation the most, but rarely anyone takes him serious. Mayday is also here.

Benjamin: human, ranged fighter, wields a gun Peni made. Private eye. Also colorblind.

Peni: human artificer, wields a mecha. Adoptive daughter of Benjamin.

The Spot: once human, mutilated in an accident and became a threat to time and space. Nobody takes him seriously as well

[tristayranambrosio]

"Suppress/Pastel" Day 2 - February 19 DWC

(So unexpectedly everyone enjoyed the little peek into the cast around Trist's past, specifically Jezza inspired by one of my old DND partners and his interactions with my table-top bard. So maybe this DWC is just going to be more of their super dysfunctional relationship full of angst and unrequited feelings. Its tragic but beautiful and I hope it remains entertaining!)

I watch my tall brute suppress a smile as his thick weapon callused fingers brush the delicate pastel petals of Palehoof’s latest bouquets that decorate the Cabaret. The moment he notices I’m watching he stiffens and hunches, cutting a glare at me for admiring his secret self… I don’t know why he bothers, I’ve felt first hand who he really is, and no one here after closing would care if he was honest with himself. About me… Sometimes I allow that to itch at me, but then again… that’s not what I am. I promised that I would never let myself feel any sort of entitlement to their secrets, my many Sweethearts and patrons, that’s now what I set out to do… and I had fleetingly considered dropping the topic all together with Jezza given he was after all in the band now, but every time I pulled away, he’d seize me by the arm and pin me in some hidden corner and ravish me with the sort of Reckless abandon that he so vehemently flights to suppress. There’s so much passion in his brutalized soul, and I catch glimpses, fragments of the person he is… He loves the softer touches that answer his brutal ones, the gentle caresses that I follow his violence with. Sometimes I think he hates me, and this is all some outlet to soothe some hurt my people did to his, but then he’ll allow just enough of himself through that I see the admiration, the envy that I am unabashedly myself where he cannot be or thinks he cannot be…

Regardless, his glare never dissuades or intimidates me, if anything it emboldens me because being a ragdoll he can throw against a wall one moment then kiss hard enough to split my lip the next has a certain appeal and catharsis, for both of us… I realize that he’s still glaring and answer it with a smirk so wide it makes his face darken with what to everyone else would seem like outrage… I see it for what it is; He’s flustered, imagining the soft petals in his fingers were my lips given they match my pink… So I part them and wet my lips meaningfully and I pop one of my hips resting a fist against it. His dark magnificent skin flushed red tusks and teeth clenched in a snarl, and wide chest rumbling a growl at me, His jet black locks are still tussled from when I pulled them from their braids giving him this wild rugged handsome flair to his fury, He looks unhinged to the untrained eye… And yet I know he’s barely able to suppress the urge to touch me, and rip me out of my clothes. I belong to no one and everyone and yet I admit, my Drummer doesn’t let me think about belonging to anyone ever… all while never saying anything but holding me so tightly against him that he may as well be the stocks himself, like that could make me his… But that’s not what I am… Instead he lifts me by both arms. Restraint a forgotten courtesy that I’ve lost the ‘privilege’ to… and I live for it. He pulls me behind the Crimson curtains that our venue takes its name from and he palms my jaw as he has his fill of me and me of him… He’ll quit tomorrow, declaring that I’d conned him, tricked him into bed again… He’ll break new drumsticks, put fists through a snare, and before I even manage to fix them he’ll be back… awkwardly offering me a rose wordlessly and sitting to help me mend the damage he’d done on his way out, because that way he doesn't have to leave.

@daily-writing-challenge

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Fics With Titles That Start With B (3) Masterlist

Links last checked: October 26th, 2024

part one, part two

baby, if you wanna try (ao3) - sunflowerwitches (orphan_account)

Summary: wearing jewellery doesn't work in phil's favour when he sees friends that he hasn't seen in a while and they automatically assume he's engaged. engaged to dan

baby, you could be the death of me (ao3) - manchestereye

Summary: “don’t make this weird, idiot. stop looking at my ass when we crawl.”

dan and phil are detectives who “hate” each other.

or, b99 au (kinda) and dnp are sarcastic little shits that spiraled a rivalry over some misunderstandings.

Back Seat Bingo (ao3) - existingcourage

Summary: Phil, a young television and radio personality lands Dan, an upcoming producer as a co-worker. Friendship is inevitable, but what happens when life, love, and fear gets in the way? A 1950’s Phan AU.

Back To Zero (ao3) - intoapuddle

Summary: One weekend, one house, five people, a recent breakup; Dan wasn't exactly thrilled, but he was going to show up for his friend, even if it meant having to share a bed with a stupid guy that sided with the even stupider guy that broke his friend's heart.

Bad at Being Straight (ao3) - Masterread

Summary: Ace!Phil and very gay Dan slowly realizing they may be more than friends, but Phil's not entirely sure how that's going to work out...

Bang Me Like Those Drums (ao3) - Analphancones

Summary: Phil is the drummer of a band, but how will the lead singer, Kevin, feel when he walks in on Phil banging his younger brother Dan as hard as Phil bangs his drums?

Barbie Horse Adventures (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Sometimes friends force you to get over your worst fears, sometimes you meet your soulmate in the process.

Bardic Inspiration (ao3) - dickiegreenleaf

Summary: Dan is a travelling bard looking for a safe place for him and his beloved horse to spend the night. Thankfully, the local tavern owner, Phil, can offer him one.

Because of Reasons (ao3) - adorkablephil (kimberly_a)

Summary: There’s always a reason why … so they come up with compromises. Or, Dan and Phil go out for a fancy dinner to celebrate Phil’s birthday.

been about you, since i met you. (ao3) - smallbump

Summary: Dan is the boy at school that makes Phil's heart jump and do a flip at the same time.

begin and never cease (ao3) - palomeheart

Summary: Dan is a grumpy second year law student living with reclusive, perpetual grad student named Phil. When the holiday season brings out a side of Phil that Dan’s never seen before, Meanwhile, when Phil finds out Dan hates all things festive, he makes it his goal to change Dan’s mind before Christmas. And also to find the perfect mince pie.

be sure to ring the doorbell (ao3) - frostbitten_cheeks

Summary: Dan’s a tired sports reporter. Phil’s a friendly vampire with no real sense of boundaries, a propensity for bad Dracula jokes and a habit of leaving his unconscious victims in Dan’s kitchen. This isn’t how Dan thought courtship goes, but he’ll take it.

be the shift of cornerstone (ao3) - frostbitten_cheeks

Summary: Japan is eight days of sushi and beauty and unwinding and Dan thinking of marriage far more than is necessary.

Black And White (And Screaming Color) (ao3) - mysticstargirl

Summary: the one where Dan is a teenager admitted to the hospital after his lung cancer hits a particularly nasty bump, and he hates it- but a beaming, beautiful, bright-eyed nurse named Phil Lester makes everything a bit better.

Dan is shades and layers of grey-black-white, but Phil is screaming color. The world is printer ink on cheap paper, Dan is thick, messy acrylic paint on rough paper, and Phil is pastel, watercolor stains on hot pressed canvas.

Everything fades with time, even masterpieces.

black butterflies and deja vu (ao3) - kae_karo

Summary: Once upon a time...there was a little boy, his name was- well, that’s not important. There was a little boy, and he didn’t have lots of friends.

But don’t worry, this isn’t a sad story, even though it sounds like it, I promise.

blue can be kind, too (ao3) - Tarredion

Summary: A tale of being scared, starting fresh, and making your first ever friends after experiencing violent bullying.

Or rather, four-year-old Dan's first day at his new kindergarten.

Breeze (ao3) - sarahjean

Summary: Usually Dan is the one sitting awake at ungodly hours of the morning quietly pondering all the usual things. Death, our career, our future and so many other things. Now it’s my turn. For me, I always lead towards our future. Our lives after this second tour is over. The plans we made over a glass or two of wine. All the big things that are incredibly amazing to think about.

Bring Me Home From Hell (ao3) - the_unwritten_ruler

Summary: It’s an important moment for Dan when he finally perfects the ritual for summoning a demon, but he gets a lot more than he bargained for when he sets the creature loose on his life.

Broke, Gay and New in Town (ao3) - natigail

Summary: Dan Howell was in dire need for a change - he hated his job and his life and he just felt stuck. His grandfather’s letter was a blessing that came with an incredible gift: A farm. Dan had no idea how to run a farm but he was willing to give it a try.

He arrived in Stardew Valley with few expectations but even so, he could never have imagined he would encounter magic, otherworldly creatures, corporate conspiracies, so many queer villagers, a secret destiny and right at the centre of it all the love of his life.

broken porcelain (put me back together baby) (ao3) - Tarredion

Summary: Dan wakes up - in pain, in little tiny pieces he can't make any sense of.

And Phil's out for the day, not there to take care of him while he lays in bed, contemplating the universe and why his goddamn brain has to spread its pain to the rest of his body on his worst of days.

[elixir-writes]

Hey! Do you like Xiaoven or Xingyun? Do you want to make an author’s day??

It’s my friend Lantica’s birthday today, so I want to take the chance to plug some of her works because they are beautiful and I think everyone should read them.

Cecilias Smell Sweeter in Summer

Xiaoven, 79k words, almost complete

Summary: Camp Seven A is a small summer camp all of the kids in the local town of Teyvat attend at least once. Xiao has just moved to Teyvat and finds himself taking a job at Camp Seven A as a counselor for the Anemo group. His co-counselor Venti is all too happy to teach him the ropes. Why is that dude so friendly?

This fic is genuinely such a good read. It’s a lighthearted camp au that does really good with characterization.

Can You Feel My Heart Beat?

Xingyun, 7k words, ongoing

Summary: Chongyun is a relatively quiet person... when he's not on stage performing that is. The fact is, he loves drumming, and his passion shines so bright that it attracts the attention of even the most unlikely audience.

Xingqiu enjoys loud places, as they are the only places where he can read in peace. Even still, one drummer never fails to drag his attention from the pages and to the source of the wonderful noise.

This has me giggling in public! If you like seeing useless homosexuals and disability rep, this is the fic for you.

Primordial Tales

One-shot series, Venti-centric

Series summary: A collection of stories that can only be found in the eldest songs of Teyvat's bards. This series also includes a few, more modern tales with hints at ancient histories between characters.

Ough do you like Venti angst?? Here’s some Venti angst! This series is painful and beautiful and wrings many emotions out of me. 10000/10

If you read these or any of her other works, I will love you forever. If you’re inclined, please drop a comment on them too!

[trueduckweed]

Overthinking the covens

Is the only way to join the Emperor's coven becoming a cop? There are more jobs then just guard/scout/captain/warden/etc after all. 

Who helps run individual police precincts, helps with distributing the Conformatorium’s budgeting, creates promotional material, heck who’s even in charge of hiring inside different branches?

I’d say these are mostly things done by members of other covens who happen to work closely with the EC and that the brand/explicit membership is exclusive to only enforcers like the show states.. but that’s just not true. Flora is one such example. Lilith working as lead historian is another (though that seemed to coexist with her work as coven head/possibly whatever her previous ranks were). 

Like.. the main 9 covens aren’t really organizations. Some subsidiaries are, but despite being referred to as ‘subsidiaries’ the main covens can barely be called holding companies. At least with our current worldbuilding.

It’s just a brand and a slight idea of what one may bring to the table job wise + a leader. The most we even see a main coven leader do is personal arrest missions* for Belos, picking up recruits*, and fucking each other over politically. We know jack about what their positions as leaders mean. What are they leading?? Their titles are the only reason I can hesitantly call the 9 main covens holding companies, but there’s really nothing else to indicate it. The EC is the only one that seems to function as a unit. 

Sub covens are possibly the exception if they require membership of one of the main 9. For example, Blight industries is a subsidiary of the Abomination Coven, implying all its members are AC. Presumably ‘Blight industries’ refers to Alador and his team. You’d think Odalia would be considered a member though and she’s in the Oracle coven. So if it isn’t “you have to be a member of X main coven to join Y subsidiary” is it more something like “Y subsidiary gives taxes to X coven/defers to X coven in whatever system is going on there bc the show gives us jack shit”? I just really want to know how this is all organized and ran. This is the kind of tasty worldbuilding this show is missing. 

Why is Flora, who doesn’t seem to work as a cop or guard or any other rank we know of a member of the EC? The EC seems to only be joinable through becoming a scout. It seems to be an organization unlike the other covens. It seems to have very specific jobs that the EC was created to fulfill In the first place. But working as a historian shouldn’t theoretically require access to all magic. So.. why is it an EC job and why is scout training required?

I mean the inspectors are another example! Not the kind of job to have alongside working as a cop or doing scout work. But they are EC members regardless. 

Are the drummers Bard Coven members or Emperor’s Coven members? They wear regalia reminiscent of the EC after all. It’s seemingly not needed enough to be a full time job but they are obviously trained for it. You couldn't just grab any random guard, put them in the outfit and expect them to know what to do. So is there another job here?

Are there tax collectors? Lawyers? How do laws even get passed? I can’t imagine Belos handles all of that, especially on a local level. 

I guess what I'm wondering is: are there non-sworn* positions in the Emperor’s Coven? Because it’s seems like there are! You should theoretically be able to join a non-sworn position in the EC from entry level. No becoming a scout (AKA a sworn position) required! But we never see anyone indicate that’s an option in the show. Becoming a scout is painted as the only way into the coven. Idk. It’s weird

* I don’t know why or how that fits into the coven head’s jobs. Tasks like that are why the Emperor’s coven even exists. Don’t tell me there aren’t any other extremely powerful witches in the EC who can reliably fulfill that purpose (who aren’t Hunter

* Did no one find it weird that a coven head was transporting new recruits. I get why Darius showed up, he wanted to save the kids. But realistically it’s not the job of the abomination coven head to transport new scouts to.. wherever. Did Hunter not find that weird? Or did he assume Darius was just really proud of him and went to deliver the cloak personally, despite it being his day off? Idfk

* ’Sworn’ referring to those with arrest power and ‘non-sworn’ refers to other law enforcement jobs 

[natromanxoff]

20 - Rockin' in Rio

Greetings one and all A quick return from the Bondi Bard. Last weekend there was a surprise party for Gerry and Sylvia in San Francisco, and judging from the email I got from Ratty a good time was had by all, and a few of our old mob were there. I would loved to have been there but I was committed to go to the wedding of a good buddy of mine. James and his new wife Suze got married on the original Manly ferry, which has been converted into an amazing houseboat and is moored at Balmain. The ceremony was at 7pm, just as the sun was setting to the left of us, and the Harbour Bridge to the right, very picturesque. An Aussie band called Leonardo's Bride sang their top five hit to the couple (of course I can't remember the name of it) and the girl singer has an incredible voice, and is also gorgeous and a very charming lady, who is shacked up with a DJ mate of mine. Lucky bastard. The booze was good, the food even better and a fun night was had. I can hear that question again, "Whats this got to do with Queen?" Well I shall tell you. James worked as an engineer at Metropolis Studios in London, along with the lovely Heidi, where the Queenies did a lot of recording, he also did some work with the band, but did a lot on BM's first solo outing. The next link is even weaker. I spent a good part of the evening chatting with Rob Hirst, who is the drummer with Midnight Oil, and is also a fabbo chappie. And being a typical drummer, while the Oils are not working he is recording his own solo album, as a singer/guitarist.......sound familiar. We had a couple of drinks and swapped a few stories, and as his wife was with us we managed to keep them all clean.

Staying on the subject of drummers I had an email, via Jacky, from a drummer who didn't seem that amused by the joke I told in my last ramblings, they might hit things but they are really quite sensitive deep down. So I suppose I should say I'm sorry, well I'm not. But here's another little jest to piss him off some more. Q: Whats the most asked question to a person with an IQ of 2? A: What sticks do you use?

Onto Sonia's request for some info on our trips to Brazil. What can I say about Rio except that it is a fun city and we all had a great time there, maybe that's why we went back a second time. On the first venture there I was still looking after the kit, and on one night myself and a few of the crew hit the town and got very drunk on the local drink, I think it was made from sugar, which I can pronounce but I've no idea how to spell it. (Help me out Sonia) We were in a bar getting louder and louder when a Welsh Rugby team came in, and they were big boys, and they are also on the tipsy side.

I'm 6ft, Jim Devenney makes me look small and Bob Bickleman made him look small, and the rugby players are of equal size, so we now have a contest on our hands as to which team can sing the loudest and dirtiest rugby songs. To start with the Welsh were winning because they had a couple of good looking women with them, and even though it was loud it was also in good fun. Devenney then comes up with the great statement that rugby is a girls game, the Welsh reply that at least they don't need padding when they play, unlike Gridiron, to which our team say, "OK, lets have a game on the beach tomorrow morning." This to me sounds like a really daft idea as I hate Gridiron, Rugby and Soccer, so one of the lighting guys and myself decided to leave, which means the Queen crew won by default cause neither team turned up on the beach to play, and as the two of us were leaving the bar we took their gorgeous ladies with us. Sorry Wales.

Our second visit to Brazil, when I was traveling with the band, was for the first Rock in Rio which was a two week festival with a host of big names on, each playing two nights. We did the opening night with three Brazilian acts, then Whitesnake who had Cozy as drummer, then Iron Maiden and then us. The second show was at the end and our opening acts were the B52's and the Go Go's. After the show I ended up in my room with a couple of Go Go girls, and boy were they party hounds. Apart from the bands I've mentioned there were other big names like Rod Stewart, AC/DC, Yes, George Benson and more. It was fun because we got to see old friends of the road, but it was also a nightmare cause we were almost prisoners of the hotel, due to the fact there were far to many fans outside the hotel, so we hung around the pool most of the time. The press were paying guests with poolside views so they could use the room and snap rockstars by the pool, which, of course, put an end to that.

The only thing left to do between shows was to get out of Rio and Roger and I heard of a great place called Buzios (Hope I spelt that correctly) which I suppose is about 100 miles away. Deaky and Wally decided to come as well, and being wimps they took a limo, unlike us drum type people, we don't eat quiche, we're gonna drive. The locals were all driving around in beach buggies, they look like fun, thats us, lets go. A buggy is basically a VW beetle with a different body, and our gleaming white buggy turns out to be the biggest pile of crap ever allowed on a road.

I take the wheel and we're not too far into our journey when 1st gear goes on the missing list, I don't care, I'm a good driver, I can start in 2nd. The gearstick decides to loosen on us, so trying to get it in gear was like stirring soup, who cares, onwards and by now our buggy decides to dump the clutch, so when it came to pulling away I just pushed the stick, and whatever gear it went in was the one we drove in. At least we can see the funny side of it all. What else can God give us to make this mission harder, how about torrential rain, which is great fun to drive in when you don't have a roof on the car. Needless to say the buggy rapidly filled up with water. Five minutes of this downpour and we get our next treat, the wipers pack up, so RT has to stand up and lean over the top and wipe the windshield so I can see where I'm going. By this time we look like a couple of soaking wet tramps, but we are killing ourselves laughing as we watch the red mud flow down the hillsides into the river we are trying to drive through. As we go round a bend we both screamed out "OH F***" at the same time. A huge truck was heading in the opposite direction to us, and as it passed at high speed a tidal wave of red water engulfed us and our crappy little car. I have to be honest here, that did wipe out a bit of the humour. We got to our destination, found the hotel and as the drowned rats walked in, the wimps were sitting in the bar, very dry with very cold beers. Next time, I'm with you Deaky. You would think the first thing I would want was a shower, nope, top of the list was a nice quiet chat with the company that rented us our friendly little buggy, and after a couple of well placed words they didn't charge us. Once there we had a good time. Oh, I nearly forgot, we did a couple of great shows as well.

Loads of the usual stuff

Crystal

[gildedmuse]

do you like any of the one piece manga colorspreads? if yes, which ones?

I typed up a very long response to this, but since I'm still getting use to my new phone I managed to accidentally close the window.

Here's a outline:

I only started the series a little over a year ago because all my siblings watched it and I wanted in on that sweet bonding time. I didn't even expect to like it honestly, though they changed fairly quickly. I have plans to read the manga, but I'm still working through the series (what I post on this blog is pretty much where I am in the show more or less.

Since I've never read the manga I have no fucking clue what these things are or if they have some kind of deeper meaning. I barely know what chapter or arc they're from.

I totally have favorites. Some of them have Zoro in them so obviously.

Strawhat Story Time

Honestly, this has to be canon, right? If it isn't it needs to be. I want Robin to take out a book and read the rest of the crew to sleep everytime they are stuck on an island for the night. Of course, I have no idea what she's reading since this is Nico Robin we're talking about; it could be an overly cutesy fairy tale adventure, a dry government approved text on the history of the Grand Line, or just a book of the most gruesome deaths ever recorded (I hope she switches it up every Island or so) but I'd like to think which ever of the possible options Brook always accompanies here with an appropriate backing sound track.

Meanwhile you have Usopp and Chopper looking totally enrapt. Which makes sense. Usopp, of course, loves a good story. I know he's an amazing marksman and all, but part of me still wishes his role on the ship was the chronicler of their adventures or maybe just storyteller. And baby brother Chopper is still innocent enough to fill with wonder as the events unfold, worried the scary looking big dog and kitty cat will never get along and be friends like he so wants.

Then there is Nami, just content to listen while Robin does her thing. Honestly, she's probably just happen no one is actively trying to kill them at the moment. Plus they're camping which saves money so, yeah, she happy.

Neither Sanji nor Franky will be able to tell you what the story is about after she finishes. Sanji because apparently being read to like a child is a big turn on for him. Franky because, well, poor guy is already half asleep. His eyes are open but only just. It gives off big team mom and dad vibes. Franky probably spent his day fixing the ship, watching and playing with the three youngest brothers, keeping the older two from killing each other, and helping Nami as needed. Dude is exhausted, but he's trying to stay up and enjoy this little family moment.

Unlike Luffy and Zoro who are both dead asleep. Neither of them seem like big bedtime story guys. Luffy passes out instantly anyway and is really only interesting in stories if they can tell him something fun to do. Zoro doesn't even care about that. Stories are either are up in which case why bother or they've already happened I'm which case who cares?

Knights Of The Sunny's Dinner Table

A lot of these I like just got the weird AU settings. Like medieval king Luffy surrounded by his knights (plus whatever Nami is suppose to be.) A few observations:

- Usopp'd knight outfit makes him look sort of like Hercules'n and is perfect.

- Brook has a lute why not just make him the bard! Full metal plate armour is heavy. Brook doesn't have the muscle for that. he doesn't have muscles at all (yohohoho!)

- Chopper is fucking adorable

-. Zoro is obviously Luffy s personal knight and protector. Fight me on it. Love how his jolly roger is on his armour. I assume that means that even back then he fought three sword style.

Zoro Is ON A Cat

I just like this one okay? First, shout out to Usopp who looks completely balling. Second, did Zoro defeat a giant panther in a fightnjust so he could ride around on it? I think we all know he did.

That's like the first time I've seen him wear his bandana like that. I approve.

Rainbows And Rock N Roll

Hey, you guys remember that time the Strawhat started a band? No? Oh, right, that's because all recordings of them were destroyed for public safety reasons.

It makes so much sense to stick Luffy with symbols. Like yeah, of course he'd be in the band but how many instruments would you trust him with, really? Where as Usopp seems smart enough that he could easily learn guitar.

Zoro as the drummer also makes perfect sense. He gets to hit things real heard and he's like a steady presence on the crew. The only problem with this drawing? Why no third drumstick in his mouth. Do you coward. You should have gone three stick style.

Also I'd be all about a modern AU where these idiots start a band. And the only bar that will have them just happens to be the one a young medical student visits. He absolutely hates their music, it's loud and annoying and they don't seem to practice or even have a plan, they just get up on stage and chaos ensues. And people absolutely love them. He doesn't understand and yet.... He keeps coming back, every Friday like clockwork.

If nothing else the obnoxious boy with the symbols whose role seems to be bouncing around stage, hanging them together whenever he feels, rallying the crowd and random back up vocals has some amazing sexual chemistry with the silent drummer guy in the back, the one to rocking green hair probably because he thinks it makes him look punk. Like.... It's almost frustrating when he hears girls swooning over them because come on. That can't all just be an act, right? What if they haven't realized it yet? What if they're just that unaware. Law would be more than happy to fill them in provided they thank him with a place in ghei- oh God how much has he had to drink tonight? Fuck he hates The Strawhat Pirates. It's not even a good band name!

ETA: New phone problem. It posted before I was done. I guess I'll do the other seven in a separate post.

[meme-spren]

Hello everyone I've barely dipped a toe into the dark and mysterious waters of mechs fandom but I've already inflicted pictures on the discord to see what the squad thinks they do

[Image of Drumbot Brian, seated, looking off to the side]

S: Criminal S: I'm gonna guess morally repugnant P: Well it's a pirate band so that stands to reason S: One bad bad man P: I think this guy would be the captain because who else would wear a full suit and a rose on his hat O: Not captain, I'd think. Captain is for a lead person and drummer is not. O: I wanna say... the one that fires the cannons? P: Probably bard vibes S: It's a band P S: I bet they all have bard vibes R: He looks horny R: He looks like he flirts with everything that moves, that is

[Image of Nastya Rasputina playing her violin]

S: Assassin S: Was assigned to kill one of the band members and just S: Is REALLY into the cover story S: Maybe turned on the people who hired her? S: Maybe about to kill the dude? S: Who knows S: Not even she does

J: Geddy lee from rush realizes she's trans, switches from bass to violin haha classic rock jokes that everyone else here definitely understands

R: Bad luck on a ship is her deal M: I'm gonna tell you this because I hope it'll just raise more questions: she's romantically involved with the ship R: PILOT R: SHIP FUCKER PILOT R: Or engineer S: Yeah I'll still go with my idea

P: I will second pilot P: Also despite being romantically involve with the ship she's somehow the proverbial straight man of the group M: Love how you've drawn the conclusion that everyone else is ridiculous just from these two pictures and the fact that I'm the one presenting them to you

O: Uh, clearly Fiddle here is the Necromancer

[Image of Raphaella La Cognizi singing into a microphone, two other indistinct figures behind her]

J: dlc fenyx dionysus-themed armor and wing skin

O: Hmm, alright so, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say... she's the singer :V M: Why do you assume there's one(1) singer M: (also like: ah yes, the pirate job of... The Singer) O: If One Piece has taught me anything, then yes :V

P: I'm gonna say she's the lookout, because having wings is very handy for getting to or leaving the crow's nest P: She's also the best fighter of the group P: Maybe also the treasurer? or w/e the pirate equivalent is P: Which is why she has fancy velvety clothes with gold decoration P: Actually no scratch that P: Its because her backstory is she ran away from her rich parents

[Image of Ashes O’Reilly playing their bass]

O: Captain, obviously S: Yeah, with that hat

P: Gunner P: Because cigar

R: Lesbian S: If anyone in this crew is cishet I'll bake an edible hat and eat it

[Image of Gunpowder Tim, dimly lit, playing his guitar. His hand is motion blurred and his guitar is dramatically angled toward the viewer]

J: the token bastard warforged S: he has goggles he must be the engineer

M: His last name is Tim J: First name Tiny

O: Goggles on hat are aesthetic. Goggles on forehead means madlad. Either Engineer or something something chemistry, alchemy, whatever. Something that can explode.

[Image of Ivy Alexandria, holding a book in one hand and her flute in the other.]

P: I'm gonna say tough love mom friend P: Probably the smartest one because book P: Maybe the cartographer?

O: I'm gonna say she is smart, but NOT the "meek scholar" type. More like, brains and brawn. People that know how smart she is are surprised by how strong and brutal she can be, those that only have seen her fight are surprised that she is so intelligent

S: She's the quartermaster

[Image of Jonny D’ville, with a hand on his holstered gun]

R: Home of sexual S: Your fav S: He's got a scar and some weird tech on his chest S: I'm guessing he's another fighty boi S: Gunslinger extrordinaire xP P: Trigger happy loose cannon trash boy P: Commonly drunk P: Causes at least half the crew's problems S: Reminds me of [Spades] Slick R: Wait no R: Omnisexual R: Crew omnisexual

O: Stowaway who snuck aboard

[Image of Marius Von Raum, squatting and holding his little claw thing.]

J: Gremlin J: In the sense of gremlins in the works J: Ship gremlin

P: He gambles P: that's his entire job I think he'd also be like, a spymaster of sorts? P: Knows how to get into places or how to chat up the right people to get that juicy gossip

O: That weird head thing makes me think of a doctor, so, I'm gonna say he's the ship doc P: Counter-point: the doctor really should not be carrying live ammunition around O: Counter-Counterpoint 1: Should not? Sure. Doesn't mean wouldn't Counter-Counterpoint 2: Also, Pirates R: Counter counterpoint 3: gunpowder can be used in emergencies to cauterize a wound :mspa:

S: Oh he's definitely a sharpshooter S: That monocle thing looks like a fantasy rangefinder S: Smug bastard energies S: Like S: 17 rogue/2 bard energy

[Image of the Toy Soldier, saluting cheerfully]

S: Conductor? S: Waiter? S: Avatar of the ship? O: Season One antagonist who used to hunt the crew but got defeated and disgraced and joined them to take revenge on its original boss S: If u combine that with my idea of it being the avatar of the ship then that makes for one hell of a TV show P: It does have an aura of not-pirateness about it P: I'm gonna say this is a recurring "antagonist" and is in fact still hunting the crew, except it kind of sucks at its job and is basically no match for these pirates But it keeps up a chipper attitude regardless

[paintingraves]

The Witcher Sing!AU

just watched Sing and I’m feeling pretty inspired so please imagine a Witcher band AU in which they all participate in a singing contest. In the end it all comes down to two very different finalists: 

one if a band called The Witchers. we’ve got Yennefer as lead singer, Geralt as lead singer + guitarist, Eskel as drummer, Lambert on the bass, Aiden as cellist and Cohen as keyboardist (or something along those lines.) Geralt knows Regis, who’s a music manager under the big name label Vampire Records (Detlaff owns the company and the label organized this whole thing hoping to find some new talent.) 

Now The Witchers are good, they’re better than good, and they know they’re good, but alas they suffered several major setbacks that prevented them from ever breaking through in the industry; including, like, Geralt getting a child surprise, Yennefer and him going through a bad breakup once, and Eskel getting in a very bad car accident (he’s got the scars to show for it.) But today they’re here and they look amazing. They’re going to set fire to that damn stage and get signed under Vampire Records if it kills them. 

And the other finalist? Why he’s a strapping, loud and very flamboyant young man who plays, between other things, the lute. He’s got an amazing voice and an amazing presence on stage, and at his disposition a whole variety of instruments that he has mastered - he switches between the lute, the guitar, the piano and even at some point a goddamn hang drum seemingly effortlessly. And it sounds gorgeous, damn it. 

Geralt has to admit it - the kid is good, he’s really good. Depending on what Vampire Records are looking for he might just be who they choose. But it doesn’t mean The Witchers won’t go down without a fight. Each of them wants this more than Julian - stage name Jaskier, buttercup - can possibly imagine. 

Jaskier does grate on Geralt’s nerves at first but then Eskel, kind Eskel invites him to get a drink after rehearsals and Jaskier beams at them and readily agrees. As time goes by and despite the fact they’re competing against one another they all become fast friends with Jaskier - it’s hard not to, charisma practically oozes off the guy in waves and it feels like he could charm the pants off of anyone if he just smiled at them like they’re the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. 

He stares at Yen like that. 

And Geralt. 

And Eskel, who is utterly puzzled by it. 

And Lambert, a tad, but then Aiden growls at Jaskier who prompty moves on. 

(Seriously, it’s like the bard falls in love with everyone he meets.) 

Regis and Detlaff pay them a surprise visit the final day of rehearsal and, à propos of nothing, Regis tells him Emyr var Emreis himself might just be there to see the performance -- just because Detlaff knows him and apparently the emperor made time in his schedule to see this as a way to relax. 

Jaskier chokes on his bottle of water and repeats the words the emperor???? the fucking emperor?????! for the next fifteen minutes until Lambert cuffs him on the back of his head. 

The last day of competition arrives. The winner gets to sign under Vampire Records and the second place goes home with a 10,000 $ price, which is a fair consolation prize. Geralt is nervous, but they’re all in a good mood, in top shape, Yennefer is gorgeous as ever, they’ve all donned their ‘armor’ and they’re ready to make the audience lose their minds. 

Jaskier is silent for once. He’s wearing a shiny blue thing à la Freddie Mercury that sparkles in the light; his hair is carefully tousled and his eyes are lined with knol (artfully done by Yennefer herself, who’s grown quite fond of the little bard.) 

Lambert is talking to Aiden in a corner, their hands touching; Geralt is pretty sure that, whether they win or lose, Aiden’s gonna ask for Lambert’s hand in marriage tonight and they’ll party till dawn. 

His daughter Ciri is in the audience, of course, with a few friends. She can’t wait to see her dad kill the stage. His heart tightens in his chest. He’ll be the best he can for her. 

He doesn’t know if the emperor is actually here, and tells himself he doesn’t really care. they’ve done this hundreds of times. they’re ready as they’ll ever be. 

Jaskier goes first, for once. His manic energy fills up the entire stage and he’s got the public eating out the palm of his hand after the first song. Geralt watches him from backstage, mesmerized, just like Yennefer and anyone else looking at Jaskier right now. When his set ends he is sweating, his cheeks flushed, but the audience roars their approval and calling for encores and he bows deeply and flirts as he makes his way out of the stage under a thunder of applause. He’s smiling brightly and Geralt doesn’t say it but he knows Jaskier is thinking the same thing - that was incredible and he’s won. 

Doesn’t mean people shall leave this place without remembering performance of The Witchers, because they’re damned good. The audience is going to see two very different genres of music and two very different performances tonight and Jaskier will appeal to some and The Witchers to some others. The public also gets a vote. 

It’s the matter of a few minutes to set the stage and then it’s their turn. The atmosphere immediately grows darker, the lights fading out. Eskel and Lambert start the first song, Ignite, with the drums and bass and then Yennefer’s melodious voice gradually joins in like the veil of an angel cast from the shadows. The lyrics are Geralt’s and Eskel’s work (Eskel just has a way with words, must be all that poetry he reads) and talk about resilience and the ability to ‘come back to life’ when one has lost everything. 

It’s a heavy subject but the beat is good, Geralt and Yen’s voices powerful, and the whole room is electrified. They have fans here, old and new, who shout at the top of their lungs the lyrics as they sing and Geralt briefly spots Ciri in the crowd, dancing along and grinning up at her father with stars in her eyes. 

After that comes Aard, with an incredible solo by Lambert, and then Yrden -- Yennefer’s time to shine. The performance goes very well, and the multiple light and fire effects on stage add to the wow effect of it all. 

When they’re almost done the crowd goes absolutely wild, screaming and shouting and applauding. Some are even crying. Yennefer gets close to the edge of the stage and touches a few outstretched hands as she holds that final note, and Geralt grins at Lambert, who nods and they both take off their shirts (Eskel rolls his eyes) and throw them in the public to screams and whistles. Yennefer throws her empty water bottle to a lucky guy who holds it like it’s the holy grail, awed and struck dumb. 

They perform one last song, a bit calmer and quieter but no less remarkable, and then finally bow and leave as the curtain closes. 

Jaskier grins at them and hands out a new water bottle to Geralt. “That was amazing,” he says sincerely. “I got goosebumps all over, I’m still shaking.” 

They can hear the showman telling people to vote while the jury deliberates and, after fifteen good minutes, they are all called back onstage. Geralt puts on another t-shirt. Lambert doesn’t and walks out there with a feral grin. 

The tension is high and near unbearable as they wait for the final deliberations. 

Finally the presenter calls Regis and Detlaff onstage. Regis holds a single golden enveloppe in his hand. They wave to the crowd, thank them for coming here tonight, say it was difficult to make a choice, yada yada. Yennefer’s biting her lips, Lambert is standing ramrod straight, and Jaskier is flexing his hand. 

“And the winner is... Jaskier!” 

“Oh, fuck,” Jaskier says aloud, and then, “Wait, what? No!” 

And Geralt knew but it still hurts, it feels like he’s failed his band again -- 

The crowd is wild but Regis holds up a hand. “If you’d let me finish,” he says calmly, his eyes gleaming with amusement. “Yes, Jaskier, congratulations for winning this competition. You have a lot of potential, and I think everyone here saw that. However...”

“... However,” he continues, “I believe everyone will agree with me here when I say The Witchers more than deserve to win.” There are screams of agreement. “Your performance here tonight was astounding, Geralt, everyone -- you blew us all away. Even the emperor, who yes, dear audience, is with us tonight. Up there.” A stagehand shines a spotlight to where Regis is pointing. There indeed sits emperor Emyr var Emreis, who stands up and waves under a new thunder of applause. He meets Geralt’s eyes and gives a nod, smiling. Geralt feels like he’s dreaming. 

“Which is why...” Regis has to raise his voice even with a mic. “Which is why The Witchers will still get signed under ampire Records; and as for you, Jaskier, we offer Oxenfurt Records on a silver platter. I am good friends with the CEO and she has noticed you. Countess de Stael, if you please? 

As a gorgeous blond woman rises from the high seats and makes her way down, the world suddenly comes into focus around Geralt. 

The noise is deafening. Regis is smiling smugly as if he knew this was how it would go the whole time. Lambert is cheering and hugging Eskel and Cohen is repeating well fuck me on a loop, and then Aiden is grabbing Lambert by the scruff of his neck and bringing him center stage and getting down on one knee in front of him and oh my god. 

“Oh my god,” Jaskier echoes, and he’s crying. 

It’s all so much. 

Geralt might be crying too. 

And Ciri. 

And Yen, though she’d never admit it. 

And everything is fine. 

[thearvariblues]

The Bard And The Wolf - Chapter One

(AKA Geraskier in the Metal Band AU you didn’t know you needed)

The fic you may have already met on AO3, but now I’ve decided to start posting it on my Tumblr, too, in hopes that more people could find it that way, and maybe even enjoy it. :)

The masterpost for this fic can be found HERE.

1 - Endings And Beginnings

“Kaer Morhen are a bunch of morons, that’s all I’m saying,” said Jaskier, running his fingers through his brown hair to make it more artistically ruffled.

“Yes, Jaskier. We know,” Dave, the guitarist, growled and rolled his eyes.

“But you know which one of them is the worst?”

“Do tell,” Dave sighed.

“That lead singer of theirs, of course,” Jaskier smirked. “Geralt of Rivia. The Witcher. The White Wolf. Honey, how many nicknames do you need? You’re in a fucking metal band, dear heart, this is not some kind of a larp!”

Mike, the drummer, raised his hand.

“Is that why you call yourself The Bard?”

“That’s… Yeah, that isn’t any different,” Jaskier sighed. “Fuck. I just wish they weren’t so damn good.”

“They’re pretty good, yeah,” Dave agreed.

“More like we’re pretty shit,” Mike said.

“Oh, come on, guys. We’re not shit. We just… Need to find ourselves, that’s all. Actually, I have a few songs I think you might like, just here, in my...”

“I don’t think that will be necessary, Julian,” Dave said, just the second someone knocked at the door of their rehearsal room.

“Jaskier,” he said automatically, turning his head to see who the newcomer was. He blinked. “And what exactly is this bitch doing here?”

“Yeah, we wanted to tell you before he comes, but… never mind,” Dave shrugged. “We know we’re not shit, Julian. You’re shit. So… This is our new singer.”

Jaskier blinked, several times, his brain doing its very best to process what was happening here. He was sure he must have misheard, because surely Dave didn’t just say that…

“Valdo Marx,” he growled. “You fire me and hire fucking Valdo Marx as your lead singer?!”

“Basically,” Mike nodded. “Sorry, Jules.”

“You can’t do this,” Jaskier said, though the argument sounded weak even to his own ears. “Dandelions are my band. Mine.”

“Were,” the newcomer said. Jaskier took a proper look at him. The bitch had blonde hair, styled basically the same as himself, bright green eyes, tight black pants and a silk shirt with its top buttons undone, just as Jaskier wore it… He even copied the goddamn eyeliner.

“You gotta be kidding me,” Jaskier said. He felt his voice begin to tremble.

“We’re not,” Dave said. “Really sorry, Julian.”

“Yeah, sorry, not sorry, Julian,” Valdo smirked. “Don’t let the door hit you on your way out.”

Tears welled up in Jaskier’s eyes. No, this won’t do. He won’t let them see him cry. Also, artfully smudged eyeliner was fine, but tear-smudged? He won’t be caught dead with tear-smudged eyeliner.

So he grabbed his bag and his guitar and got to his feet.

“Yeah, right. As you wish, fuckers,” he growled. “See you never.”

He had to pass Valdo on his way out and it took all his willpower not to punch the son of a bitch in his ugly, smirking face.

He wasn’t even out of the building yet when the tears began to spill.

*

He wasn’t sure where he was going. He was just walking. When he was walking, the sadness wasn’t so bad. He was afraid to stop, because he was pretty sure that if he did, he would surely fall apart. That was also the reason why he didn’t just go home, no matter how much he wanted to.

He didn’t want to have to process the fact that he had been kicked out of his band just like that. His. The band he put together, the band he wrote lyrics and music for, the band that he had kept together for the past two years. And then those bitches decide that he’s not worth their time anymore?!

Maybe he should have tried more. He should have told them they were welcome to have their own band without him, but he shouldn’t have let him used the name, Dandelions, the name he himself chose…

He was forced to stop dead in his tracks when a door he was just about to pass got thrown open and a dark-haired woman stormed out, followed by a tall and muscular white-haired man dressed all in black.

Jaskier gulped, because while he didn’t immediately recognize the woman (mainly because she was busy stomping towards a nearby car), he would recognize the man anywhere.

Geralt of Rivia. The Witcher. And the lead singer of Kaer Morhen, the very band Jaskier had dramatically proclaimed his rivals.

Which meant that the woman had to be…

“Yennefer,” Geralt sighed. “Come on.”

“No. I’m, done,” she said, opening the car door. “I’ve heard enough. Either you get Lambert and Renfri under control, or I’m out of here. I won’t be called a witch–”

“They didn’t mean it like that and you know it.”

“Neither will I be called a bitch, Geralt, and they definitely meant that!” she growled. “It’s your decision. Me, or them?”

Silence fell for a few seconds. Geralt stared at the woman, she stared back at him. Finally, she cocked up an eyebrow and he crossed his arms over his chest in a defensive manner.

“Oh. You mean I should decide now?” he asked.

She chuckled in a way that made it clear that she was desperately trying not to rip his head off.

“You know what? Go to hell, Geralt. Keep your merry band. I’m out. Good luck finding a new singer, you bitch.”

With that, she got in her car and slammed the door shut.

“Fuck,” Geralt muttered and turned back to the building, just as Yennefer drove off. He stopped and blinked when he saw Jaskier standing there, his mouth agape.

“Uhm,” Jaskier managed. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to… watch that. I just… nearly got hit by that door, and before I realized what was happening, she was already yelling at you and… sorry. Leaving now. Sorry. Really sorry. I’m already gone, see?”

“Wait,” Geralt said, his voice deep and husky. “You’re the singer from Dandelions, aren’t you? That… bard.”

“The Bard,” Jaskier corrected before he could think better of it.

“Yeah. Jaskier, isn’t it?” the White Wolf smirked, and Jaskier could feel his heart flutter. Christ. The guy knew his name?

“That’s me,” he said as casually as he could manage. “But you’re wrong about the Dandelions thing. I’m the… former… singer. I’ve just been kicked out.”

“Wow. Sucks,” said a voice from the door. Jaskier turned his head to see a young woman standing there. She had dark, wavy hair that barely reached her shoulders, and her face was almost too cute for a metal band. “You look like you need a drink, buttercup. Where’s our witch, Geralt?”

“Gone,” Geralt smirked. “Did you really have to call her a bitch, Renfri?”

“That wasn’t me, but Lambert. I only call her a witch,” she protested. “Are you going to invite this kicked puppy in, or are you waiting for him to break down?”

“Oh, no, no, I...” Jaskier swallowed and tried to blink back the tears. “I really should be going. Sorry about the whole… witnessing this. Nice to meet you, I guess. I… okay, I really should be shutting up. See you around.”

“Wait. Bard,” said Geralt’s husky voice and Jaskier’s legs refused to cooperate. “Come in and have a drink with us. You really look like you need it.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I do, actually.”

And he did.

Was he really gonna have the aforementioned drink with the members of Kaer Morhen, though?

Apparently.

Why?

Damned if he knew.

Before he could change his mind, he took a deep breath and followed Renfri and Geralt into the building.

*

Oh, dear, this was a bad idea, he thought when he stepped into the rehearsal room and all the eyes turned to him.

“Geralt?” said a tall, long-haired man who was sprawled on one of the sofas in the room. “Hate to tell you this, but if your ex didn’t suddenly change her sex, you might have grabbed the wrong person outside.”

A very, very bad idea. What were you thinking, stupid, stupid–

“Jaskier!” a girl’s voice squeaked. “Oh my god, that’s Jaskier! From Dandelions!”

“I probably failed to mention,” Geralt, who was standing next to Jaskier, smirked, “that my daughter, who just happens to be here, adores your music.”

“Wow. Thanks,” Jaskier muttered. “So you didn’t invite me for a drink, but just to show me off to your daughter?”

“Both, actually,” Geralt shrugged and turned to a young blonde (seriously, she could be barely fifteen) standing in front of them with her bright eyes wide, clearly unsure what she should do. “Jaskier, this is Ciri. Ciri… Well, you know who this is.”

“Yes. Jaskier,” she repeated, and he was starting to feel a little better, because at least someone in this world apparently liked him. “From–”

“Formerly. Sorry. I’ve just been kicked out,” he blurted before he could think better of it. Only when he saw her eyes going impossibly wider did he realize his mistake.

“Dandelions are a bunch of dicks,” Renfri said, handing him a glass of bright golden liquid. “Don’t look at me like that, Geralt, Ciri’s heard worse.”

“Besides, it’s true. They are a bunch of dicks,” Jaskier said, accepting the glass and downing the contents in a single gulp. That was his second mistake in the last few seconds, because his throat immediately started to feel like it was on fire. “Holy flipping...” he croaked. “Oh, dear, this is gonna put even more hair on my chest. Wow. What the hell was that?!”

“Rule number one, never ask Renfri what is the drink she just gave you. Trust me, you don’t wanna know,” the last man in the room laughed.

“Shut it, Eskel,” Renfri said. “It’s perfectly safe.”

“I’m sorry, my hangover from yesterday begs to differ,” said the tall man on the sofa.

“And you too, Lambert,” Renfri growled. “I didn’t force half a bottle down your throat, you–”

“Enough,” Geralt said, and the room went quiet. “Cirilla, stop gaping. Jaskier, sit down. In fact, everyone, sit down.”

“Uhm, thanks,” Jaskier muttered. “But I probably should be going. I mean...”

“Sit,” Geralt repeated. “Renfri, another drink. Cirilla, what have I just told you?”

“How… They can’t just kick you out!” Ciri exclaimed. “It’s your band!”

“Was,” Jaskier shrugged, deciding to claim a nearby chair. He was really starting to regret ever coming here. He really didn’t want to have to explain, but this girl was looking at him with those big, sorrowful eyes… “They thought I was shit. So now… It’s Valdo Marx’s band.”

“Valdo Marx?” Renfri said. “Isn’t that the ass who was following us around last month, dressed all in black, trying to convince us he’s better than Geralt?”

“Yeah, I think that’s him,” Lambert agreed. “Shame he’s taken. We could have slapped a wig on his head and pretended he’s Yennefer. Uhm, where is our lovely queen, by the way? Waiting for you to come running after her, as usual?”

“I don’t think so. It seemed she really meant it when she said she was leaving for good,” Geralt sighed.

“You know mother’s always dramatic,” Ciri said and sat down in a chair next to Jaskier’s. “She’ll be back before we know it. Or we can slap a wig on Jaskier here and pretend it’s her.”

“Oh, dear heart, I don’t think I’m pretty enough to pull that off,” Jaskier laughed. He was still feeling like shit, but he was kind of glad for this distraction. Besides, the thought of Valdo Marx in a long wig was just hilarious. And the booze was great. He didn’t know how, but he was already on his fourth glass.

“Besides, if she’s not coming back, we need someone who can sing things like… like… Song of the White Wolf,” Eskel said.

It was the alcohol. It had to be the alcohol. There was no other logical explanation of why Jaskier cleared his throat, took a deep breath and began to sing a song he’d only ever sung in the privacy of his shower.

“The call of the White Wolf is loudest at the dawn… The call of a stone heart is broken and alone… Born of Kaer Morhen… Born of No Love… The song of the White Wolf is cold as driven snow...”

He realized the room had went completely silent, so he shut up and opened the eyes he didn’t even remember closing. Everyone was staring at him. Especially Ciri. And her father.

“Well,” Eskel said. “I meant a chick. But this was good. If we ever need someone to replace Geralt...”

“You won’t replace me with him,” Geralt argued. “I’m the growl. This is a clean vocal. Damned good clean vocal, too. But as you said, even if Yennefer isn’t coming back, we need a female singer.”

“Shame,” Ciri said. “I’d really like to hear you sing a duet with dad.”

“Honey, I’m afraid I’m really not the right singer for a metal band,” Jaskier laughed. “The best I can do is sing you The Fishmonger’s Daughter.”

Ciri’s whole face lit up like a candle at that.

“You can?” she asked, her eyes immediately going to her father for confirmation.

“Uhm, I mean,” Jaskier said as he felt blood rushing to his face. “I shouldn’t, it’s not a song for, uhm, young listeners...”

“Don’t worry about it. She knows the terrible thing by heart,” Geralt chuckled. “Just sing. We’ll survive. Your voice isn’t the worst thing that can happen to us today.”

“Definitely better than Valdo Marx,” Renfri chuckled.

“I certainly hope so,” Jaskier said, looking around. “Right, in that case, I need my lovely guitar...”

*

A few days later, Jaskier had almost forgotten all about this little encounter. He spent the afternoon with Kaer Morhen (and Ciri), sang them a few funny songs and left, his legs only slightly unsteady.

He thought nothing of it. But then there came the call from an unknown number.

“Jaskier,” he said when he answered.

“Hello,” said the voice from the phone. “This is Geralt. From Kaer Morhen,” the voice added. As if Jaskier needed that clarification. As if he didn’t recognize him just from the Hello.

“Oh. Fuck,” Jaskier swore helpfully. “I mean… Hi. How can I help you? If there’s any lasting damage to your daughter’s mental health caused by my songs, I would like to remind you that I definitely told you they weren’t–”

“You’re in.”

“Ex…cuse me?”

“Yennefer refuses to come back. That means we need a clean vocalist.”

“Yes. Uhm. I’m not sure if you noticed, but I’m definitely not female. And that whole thing with a wig won’t work, I mean, I would need like three razors only to shave my chest, don’t get me started about my legs...”

“We’ve changed our mind. We don’t want a female singer. We want you.”

“You have got to be kidding me,” Jaskier muttered. “How… How did you even get my number?”

“From a fan you slept with.”

“Yeah, that narrows it down.”

Geralt chuckled.

“Look, I’m giving you this chance because Ciri and Renfri have been nagging me for days now, and because we… we all think you are really good. And we would like to try and play a few songs with you, for a start, and then… then we’ll see what happens.”

“My god,” Jaskier sighed. “You are serious, aren’t you?”

“Dead serious,” Geralt agreed. “By the way, remember that Battle of the Bands that happens in two months? The one that Dandelions are participating in?”

“The one for the record contract?”

“That one,” Geralt said. “I just want you to know Kaer Morhen are also taking part in it. So if you want a chance to kick Valdo Marx’s ass...”

Jaskier’s breath hitched in his throat. He could almost feel Geralt smiling at the other end of the line. That goddamned Wolf was playing him like a lute, and Jaskier couldn’t bring himself to mind.

“I’m in,” he said.

He heard a girl squeal somewhere near Geralt, and the Wolf let out a tiny laugh.

“Our rehearsal room, tonight at seven. Does that work for you, or do you have a date with some other fan?”

“Only with Netflix and a bottle of wine, and I can definitely reschedule that,” Jaskier said. “I’ll be there.”

“Good,” Geralt said. “We’ll be looking forward to seeing you.”

And Jaskier’s heart definitely didn’t flutter when he heard those words…

*

Five minutes later, Jaskier decided to finally do a thing he had been putting off for days and opened his Instagram. He knew it was flooded with questions about him apparently throwing Dandelions under a bus and deciding, quite suddenly, to leave. He found that out when he accidentally opened the app once, just after leaving Kaer Morhen’s rehearsal room, and saw about twenty messages and comments. And that was only a start. Two hours later he was forced to turn the notifications off.

The Dandelions were really quick getting the news out, he had to give them that.

He opened the app, ignored all the messages and went straight to adding a new photo. He knew exactly what he wanted to post. He’d been thinking about it for days.

There was a photo in his phone he was really proud of – a dandelion going to seed. He’s taken the photo that spring. The angle was perfect, the lighting was perfect, everything was just perfect, but back then, the picture seemed too depressing to post. But right now, it was… Well, perfect.

So he used a black-and-white filter and took a deep breath before he started to type a comment.

Hello, my darlings. As many of you already know, I parted ways with Dandelions – well, in fact, it was the other way around and it were Dandelions who parted ways with me. I won’t give any details, so don’t even bother asking. But don’t worry. Because when a dandelion goes out of bloom, it releases seeds that can take root… well, anywhere. What I want to say – this isn’t the end of my story, quite the opposite. And I’m already taking root, dear hearts. And trust me – if it works out, it’s going to be BIG!

#dandelions #newbeginnings #justwaitforit

Continue with Chapter Two

[librarian-of-orynth]

OK JURDAN HC. so Jude has an old Walkman/tape recorder, and it’s really special to her. she listens to it whenever she’s really upset or needs it. she hasn’t shown it to anyone, but one day she shows it to Cardan. it has a bunch of old classic rock 70s songs on it, and at first they’re just listening to it. then a slow song plays and cardan’s all like “let’s dance.” And eventually “hey Jude” by the Beatles comes on AND CARDAN FRICKIN LOSES IT AND HES ALL LIKE “JUDE, DEAR, THIS IS YOUR SONG.”

okay omfg i love this so much BUT I wrote it as a fic I hope you like it!! 

“The mortal world is fascinating,” Cardan said, beaming up at Jude. 

She rolled her eyes. “You’ve been here for an hour, Cardan. What could you possibly have found that would be so fascinating?” 

Cardan shook his head at her, not understanding. This world…he hadn’t expected mortals to be so…savvy. It’s not as though a world without magic couldn’t be impressive, but, well, Cardan certainly hadn’t expected it. And it even seemed like–like they were more advanced, what with their giant metal boxes that moved (Jude told him they were cars, but that word meant nothing to him, and she refused to explain, anyway), their methods of playing music–how could they store so much music in a little tiny device!–and even the way pictures formed on what Jude told him were televisions. He’d never seen anything like it, and for Jude to tell him it wasn’t surprising?! 

Oh, Jude. 

Sure, she’d been born to this world–and had visited with her sister plenty of times–but how could this all seem normal? Cardan figured she’d be so used to Faerie that this was as foreign to her as to him, but instead, she seemed to be the expert. She navigated the world with ease, unafraid. And sure, she lived in Faerie with a similar bravery, but even he knew that she still felt a level of fear there. She wasn’t as relaxed, as comfortable, there. Here, though, her shoulders relaxed, she lounged on the couch with no fear of her things being stolen or her hair being knotted by a stray faerie looking for some trouble. She didn’t even have her sword with her! Normally, Jude kept it strapped to her side at all times. 

But here…she didn’t seem to need that. There was an ease to living here. At least, for mortals. 

For Faeries it was harder, as though the mortals knew how to protect themselves against the despite not knowing of their existence. 

Iron was everywhere. Absolutely everywhere. In the buildings, in the so-called cars, their jewelry, hell, it was even in some of the water! It left Cardan feeling eternally uncomfortable. And grateful that the house they were staying in was some sort of log cabin from when Jude was young. 

It wasn’t just the iron, though. There was salt, too. In everything. Their meat was seasoned with salt almost always, according to Jude. So were the vegetables. Even the desserts! As soon as they got to the cabin, Jude opened the cabinet and plopped a salted caramel candy into her mouth–without offering him one, of course. Instead of sweets, Cardan had a nice snack of bread and butter. 

And promptly spit it out, realizing there was salt in the bread, too. 

Sorry, Jude had said sheepishly. As though she didn’t know there was salt in it. But Cardan knew better. They might be on better terms as of late, but she still loved to trick him. To mess with him. To lie to him. If she got a good laugh out of it, too, that was another plus. 

She hadn’t laughed this time, but he saw a smile creep up on her lips, as though she’d had a feeling there was salt and fed it to him anyway. 

This world was not meant for him. Or any Faerie. However Vivi lived here, he had no idea. There was nothing to eat, to drink, to enjoy. At least, not for him. 

Regardless, there was something fascinating about the endurance of the mortal world and their technologies. Sure, he wouldn’t vacation here by any means, but staying here for a day or two…could be fun. There was so much to see, after all. 

“Cardan?”

“Hmm?” 

“You’re staring.” 

“Am I not allowed to stare at your beautiful face?” he purred, moving closer to Jude. 

“You’re staring at the television,” she replied blandly. 

“…oh.” Cardan shifted, taking his eyes off of the pictures moving across the screen. It was harder than he wanted to admit, though. The story, the pictures telling the story…it was all so fascinating. He knew if Jude hadn’t awoken him from his trance, he likely would’ve stared at that television, thinking about it–and the mortal world’s ways–all day. 

“How is it that despite not having magic, mortals produce things like this–” he pointed to the tv “and those–” he pointed outside, to the cars lining the street. 

“They had to adapt,” Jude said, taking a box out from under her bed, “mortals didn’t have magic to rely on–to help them. So instead, they had to help themselves. Machines, technology, art…all of it developed because there was no magic.” 

“But how,” Cardan wondered. 

“Brain power. How about an example. Once upon a time, we had to play instruments to hear music. We couldn’t record it, couldn’t store it anywhere. To hear a song again, you had to find a musician. I’m going to fast forward here a bit, but after that, you had record players, and then tape recorders, like this one.” She held out her hand, showing him the device. It was fairly bulky, with a few buttons and a space to put something inside, with a pair of headphones attached at the top. 

“Tape recorder?” 

“Well they were actually called Walkmans, back in the day. This one–this one was my mom’s. Before she was killed.” 

“May I…”

Jude smiled. “You can see it. If you want. I’ll even put a tape in for you.” 

Cardan held his hands out, waiting, while Jude placed a rectangular object inside of the device. He took it from her gingerly, being sure not to crush it between his hands. He wasn’t about to ruin something of her mother’s. He knew how much it meant to her that she still had this–a memory of her and her past. And of Madoc’s cruelty. 

But he had no idea what to do with it. So he turned it over in his hand, inspecting the device. The buttons had odd symbols that he couldn’t figure out. Two lines. A sideways triangle. Two sideways triangles facing one way, and another two facing another. A square. What was it all for?

“Jude, how do I use this device?” 

She laughed. “Put on the headphones and press the single triangle.” 

He did as she said, and music came flowing from the Walkman into his ears. Cardan’s eyes went wide. How did this work? He decided instantly that he needed one of his own. 

The music was unlike anything he’d ever heard. No lute he’d ever heard sounded like that! As though…as though it were releasing lightning with every note. And the drums were so complete. Was one person doing all of this? Jude once told him that drummers in the mortal world had drum sets. Was this what drum sets sounded like? 

And then there was the voice. All gravelly and like nothing he’d ever heard in Faerie. There, one needed skill to sing for the folk–they needed to hit every note, let their vocals cascade over the audience. This was…not so beautiful. But Cardan found that he enjoyed it–he needed something different nowadays. 

“This is like nothing I’ve ever heard before,” Cardan said, amazement in his voice. 

“I guessed as much,” she said, chuckling. “The next song’s my favorite. My mom used to sing it to me every night.” 

At that, Cardan stood and held out his hand, putting the walkman in his pocket. “Then shall we?” 

Jude furrowed her brows. “Shall we what?” 

“Dance, of course. If you will do me the honor?” 

“I can’t exactly hear the music, Cardan. How am I going to dance?” 

“Like this.” He waved his hand, and the music began to fill the room. “Better?” 

“Fine,” she huffed, and took his hand. 

Hey Jude, don’t make it bad

Take a sad song, and make it better

Remember to let her in your heart 

Then you can start to make it better

The song filled the air, surprising Cardan with every word. 

“Hey Jude?” Cardan said, eyes wide.

“Yeah?” 

“Is this song about you?” 

She laughed. “No, no. It’s by the Beatles. My mom used to tell me it was, though.” 

“She was lying?” 

“Of course. I wasn’t even born when the Beatles wrote this song.” 

“Oh. This is a beautiful song.” 

Cardan wasn’t lying. He loved it. He wanted every bard in Faerie to learn this song, to play it when he asked. He wanted to listen to Hey Jude over and over again, until the court demanded he stop. And then he wanted to hear it some more. 

“I think it is, too,” Jude said, and rested her head on Cardan’s. He placed a kiss on her forehead. 

They remained like that, her head on his, his arms around her, dancing until the song was over. Eventually, Jude pulled back and looked at Cardan, who was grinning. “What?” she asked. 

“This is your song, Jude.” 

“I didn’t write it.” 

“It’s still yours. Your mom gave it to you, and now you’ve given it to me. And I will bring it back to Faerie, for all to hear. To enjoy.” 

“Cardan, I don’t think–” 

“It’s a beautiful song. As beautiful as you are. And our world–our home–should learn of its beauty. Of your beauty.” He moved closer, taking her hand in his. 

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea, given that I’m–” she pointed to her ears, to the rounded tops. 

“They must know. I am done letting them walk all over you. Treating you like you are nothing. You are their Queen. They should be honoring you.” 

“Cardan, they won’t, though. I’m mortal.” 

“We can try, Jude. Try to make them see you as I see you.” 

“You didn’t see me like this before,” Jude grumbled.

“That was years ago, Jude. It is ancient history. If not for them, would you allow me to bring the song home for you? For me? I would certainly love to hear it again.” 

Jude thought for a moment. “Fine. But you’ll teach it only to bards within our court. And you won’t tell them why you want them to learn it.” 

“Deal,” he said, sealing their agreement with a kiss.

Cardan did as he was told. He taught only the bards within their court Hey Jude, not explaining why, and telling them to keep it a secret. But you know what happens when bards love a song are told to keep it a secret. Word spreads, songs spread, and soon, every bard in Faerie knew the words to Hey Jude. 

[manjuhitorie]

Hitorie’s various antics + bonus bursts of trivia - Mid June-July 2019

I’ll begin this long digest with news of ygarshy’s recent involvements! Because he has been dipping his toes into a few pools of waters and his bass is *chef’s kiss* precious.

It’s been disclosed that he played for the song ‘Shadow Tag’ on Ken Kamikita’s new album! Kamikita is a singer songwriter, also once known as KK, who belches out vivid vocals from his diaphragm while the substructure of skilled technique is there as instrumentals, holding it together sturdy. His songs are very thought-provoking alone, yet music isn’t his only reign as he writes scripts for his shows, he puts careful consideration into his visuals: and abracadabra! ygarshy is continuing to be supporting Wasureranne yo with concerts for the summer.Concurrent reports consist of ygarshy smiling, poker facing to hide his smile, yet his smile seeping out because of Shibata’s noble passion for music. Shibata will do risqué shouts or gatling release the word "sex" out of his mouth, when which yg will subtly sip his water in a means to dodge, or just knifesharp glare at him. I love these drunken bards. Wasureranee yo's twitter posts clips of them performing after ever show also!

Also Wasurerannee yo with The 50 Kaitenz↑ good. June 8th was the Kankaku Pierrot x Hitorie concert, which was originally meant to be a joint show for their tour, yet was now turned into a jamboree of respects and thunder... Rie themselves were unable to attend yet Kan-ero nevertheless performed a cover of Ao, Polaris, and clenched a spiritual presence...! The cover of Ao is a tear trenchcoat I'm a trench of water... Kan-ero so good...

I was finally able to tell Shinoda-san that “These lyrics are way too long.”. For the sake of today I had to spend the whole week sleeping on the couch, as my bed is practically buried by all the alphabet He wrote, yet still I simply want to thank him for leaving us with so many words. They’re really all so cool. I’m sorry for being unable to sing them well. Let’s meet up again soon. The photo shows a large cloth-covered bed-like surface strewn with printout papers of World End Dancehall, Montage Girl, Imperfection, and Senseless Wonder lyrics.... Because..... The setlist for Village Man’s Store’s concert on 6/13 went like this. 1. Senseless Wonder 5. Montage Girl 7. Imperfection 13. Ao Encore 1: World’s End Dancehall

Thanks for coming to our show, “The Holy Land Pilgrimage - Village Man’s Store VS Hitorie”! Utmost love and gratitude goes out to Hitorie and all of you who made this day possible. P.S. Hitorie, cheers to doing even more with you in the future. From vocalist: Mizuno Gii. Mizugi “I sent Shinoda-san a LINE message reading “I'm going to be playing this song and this song and this song and~~... at the next show”. And normally right, you’d think someone’d reply “Sorry ‘bout making you do this” right? Yet Shinoda replied “Why’re you doin’ that many lololol” Han (drummer): “He laughed at you" After all is said and done, have y'all properly purchased 'Tsuiraku, Kurushiku wa Lucky Strike’ yet or what. It’s fire isn’t it

((I hate(love) how Mizugi has (14 years old pun) in his profile, (63 years old) in this MV while dressing up as a slanky old man, and is actually 31 years old.)

When is the rain going to stoppp

There's a lot of people who dislike Weezer's Green Album but I like Green Album Is it cause the music takes such a different turn? Reply from Saito Shinya, the vocalist and producer of ONIGAWARA: The drums suddenly neatened up so it hit by surprise. Also Matt Sharp left. SND: Ahhh so it’s because of Matt Saito: Fans of their first-second album’s more squishy sound went into denial I think

I can’t believe 'Sayonara Dake ga Jinsei da' isn’t here *The late 90's band 'Eastern Youth’ has uploaded the majority of their discography unto music streaming sites. Except for the niche EP which SND is fond of, but all their albums are cool so zipper your lips and open your eyes shuuush!

Is Tanktop Shoutai's new video out yet They're a posse of blurred out faces with burlesque bases. Their current series is one where they dress up as Yugioh characters, roleplay them with accurate voices and cult-like enthusiasm, before the instigation of the series’ famous ~Shadow Games~ together. Which are all uhh, epic card games, yeah, like tabletop Jenga or  or Mariomaker or electric Russian roulette, pick them up like they’re Kuribos. It’s a riot.

 I’m sure I’ve said this for the umpteenth time now but, my favorite album from syrup16g is “delayed" syrup16g are an indie band who began in 1993 and keep resurging again to pop off. With performances in Budoukan and high Oricon points on their back. This pivotal album of theres is mellow with whimpering instruments and ephemeral sounding visuals and it's really nice, thank you SND.

Media outlets have been making misleading headlines like “A manga opposing the legalization of euthanasia”, and I bet there’s a lot of people are blindly dissing Death Harassment now Death Harassment is a comic written by Yoshida Yori, challenging the problems which could come with euthanasia, and a society which might pressure departure unto the unwilling. Euthanasia has been becoming a uproarious subject in Japan, ever since a woman fled to Sweden because she suffered brain diseases, and wanted to die while still preserving her sanity and dignity. People are now starting to welcome the prospect and yearn for a mercy fate but, please consider the demerits and the demoralization also, is the message. I translated the comic for fun also here.

This evening as I was eating soba alone, in front of me were a middle-aged couple throwing curses at each other with sullied mouths, but by the time I finished my soba they were smiling together. I think that’s perfectly peachy. That reminds me, I ate 4 whole eggs today. I think I ate too much.

My habit of getting the urge to play with people only at this time of the day, is really bad.  Posted at 3 AM JST.

Yumao, also at 3~ AM JST.  Bubble milk tea for sensible people has been gaining traction on twitter but, the fact that it's not Chinese tea milk tea is the nonsense to me. There was a post about purchasing uncooked tapioca pearls at a Seijou Ishii (an exotic super market chain), and putting them inside of a convenience store bought bottle of cheap tea. Budget bubble tea.  In regards to Yumao’s comment, the Chinese oolong tea is such a standard I’m assuming he’s referring to that. Is this more flavor wars, the civil wars over various flavors of integrated foods from equal or same brands is rampant throughout Japan’s domestic history. It’s kinoko VS. takenoko etc. Why such fervor over flavor YUMA

I gotta buy toothpaste I can’t sleep whatsoever so I thought if I drank I would get sleepy but I drank and it’s somehow backfired by revitalizing me so now I got no idea what the fuck to do, I’m screwed I’m screwed I know that feeling when your stomach is in a frenzy, too well

I haven’t heard the term “moe” used in a while I kinda want to go heavy on it now Replies: "Shinoda you’re moe” “Shimoeda” “Your expression when you got kicked was so moe" (He was kicked by yg during SLEEPWALK ref: the 6/1 report)” “The term moe technically d- (*The definition copypasta-ed from wikipedia*).” Within a split second replies have already turned into hell so I’m putting the lid back on moe, please forgive me Damn it’s hot.

I saw Tokyo Syoki Syodo in concert for my first time today. It was the best. I seriously thought I was gonna burst into tears. It might be a long time since I was last this excited to see a band live - it's been a long time since I even saw a concert live but still,,, I was surprised by how much of the lyrics to Saisei Button I subconsciously remembered. It just shows that Tokyo Syoki Syodo's songs are that good. They are a group who indulge in the typicality of cutesy culture, instagram filters, sparkling make-up, and all while flexing the power to whack you with whamming hard rock. He mentioned them again in his June 9th twitcast also, calling them natural and epiphanic to how bands can just be just as they are. I have no doubts that this is my top-played song these past few months. This is my anthem. -Saisei Rock, their most recent music video, check it out! I don’t even know how many years I’ve lived at this point but it’s not commonplace to find a song this great. 

This example will only be understood by super like-minded folk, but I haven’t felt this way since I got obsessed with Sakasama Cider. 

He’s expressed countless times how much he likes this song and the artist, Gucha Gucha's, Though the story behind SND’s partiality may be ultimately uncertain, it can be easily understood from one listen. The guitarist and cofounder of the Gucha Gucha’s, Shimoyaka, borrowed Shinoda’s guitar for their first live. Chikyuu Monogatari chapter 3 uses Shimoyaka as a model.  Shimoyaka has posted porn on forums, getting banned from youtube, he was on a team with infamous Shotacon Kurage, here’s SND’s cover of Sakasama Cider playing over the team, nowadays he does retro~modern gaming livestreams or his own cooking episodes because he got kicked off a cooking show, he slipped at the Niconico Douga Game Party, he’s videos are quite civil now though Shinoda even joined him for a stream and is watching them often.  Shinoda on the July 9th live said not verbatim “When I heard Sakasama Cider and ‘Sad Delay-chan’’ live, I was amazed by Shimoyaka that he can actually make good songs. Justice doesn’t have to be one-sided~ Gucha Gucha’s are unrefined and shitty and helpless, but then they bounce back up with a sudden good song and it’s irresistible. I’m always yearning to meet those sort of exciting experiences. 

We are people who clench our fists until our palms are red with blood, and we keep going on singing. Though we tend to forget it

Happy birthday ygarshy!! ygarshy's birthday is on June 17th and I hope you celebrated. SND’s birthday is also on June 6th. And I Hope. If not they can still be celebrated 365/24. Because even SND had proceeded to tweet these words of celebration at…. 12 o’ clock AM June 18th. Right when the clock changed!!

Look at this simultaneous trickery. Then Yumao RT-ed them both. I love you Rie… I love you so much...

I liked when Brocken Jr. was hit by Prisman's rainbow shower and super fucking glowed. (Timestamp 1:38) Also Mariposa’s victory pose was freakish-, ly cool (Timestamp 3:14) Kinnikuman is branded as Ultimate Muscle foreignly, if you recognize it! This youtube video is is a short promo reel celebrating the 40th anniversary of the series, Yudetamago has been in it for the long haul and is well honored by the lords of the wrestlers.

Wooooooooooah

I wanna eat a negitoro bowl Raw tuna and scallions plomped on top of a bowl of rice The special issue of Kinnikuman, I didn’t think it would put me on the verge of tears like this. Chairman takes way too many goods to the table. Plus everyone is cheerfully chit-chatting about how absolutely maniacal of a character Robin Mask is. Robin Mask really is one loony mister. Most characters are weirdos on thin ice but Robin Mask is in a whole different league of weirdo so,,, Also for the 40th anniversary, an original episode was spotlighted in the 29th issue of Shounen Jump magazine. and taken for another spin! Chairman, AKA Harabote Muscle, had an emotional arc in it too. Robin Mask I'm guessing is as rambunctiously malicious as ever in it.

The final episode of Sarazanmai had me bawling like a baby.

A photo of the possession of Kinnikuman -Supermen Dictionary-.

futurrrrrrrreee funnnnnnnnnnnk

I spent about 4 hours dancing alone in the club I am a party person Party people(パリピ is just ENG articulated into JP)* is a slang which means just that. It’s believed to have been originally popularized by a song called Let’s Party People from Illmania. Since then it’s curved to hold different nuances for all kinds of different people also. It can indicate ‘avid partygoers' or ’normies’ or it can just be for people who’re having a good time.

Puuuuuuussssshhhh! An issue of 100M, an upcoming shounen manga by the author Uoto. It's bout a runner who’s world revolves around his sport and nothing other, who then meets a boy who runs only to forget the troubles of the rest of the world. The story spurts off from there. 笑顔いっぱい！ https://youtu.be/QXuGweSMxUI @YouTubeさんから ときめきメモリアル　キャラソング【おサカナになりたい～1000wに願いを～】～虹野沙希～（TokimekiMemorial music） https://youtu.be/rV16KgKKUi8 @YouTubeさんから YUNG BAE - Fly With Me https://youtu.be/BWgQvj0Nd_U @YouTubeさんから TenmaTenma - September https://youtu.be/6VsJgk5Qw6s @YouTubeさんから ~~~A slew of various song recommendations~~~

People that're posting pics of ramen while talking about being on a vegan diet, and people who gang up on them both, aren't they all becoming a clusterfuck of boringness without even heed to their actions

People who were peacefully posting their favorite music until suddenly bursting blustery onto the net, ain’t that the definition of emotional instability SND are you heeding your own actions Seven-eleven when are you gonna sell microwavable mugimeshi (rice with boiled barley mixed in) Task-san (a trusty companion of all of Rie’s, and an even more lovable animator who runs most of Minaken): *Replied to SND with a photo of Seveneleven brand microwavable mugimeshi*  SND: So they do have it

As I was frying some fried eggs, it hit me, people who heedlessly throw heavy words at other people tend not to let anyone else complain about the heavy weights they themselves may put onto other people huh.. But actually that’s not necessarily true so whatever

I just recently caught up with Murata-sensei’s version of One-Punch Man but, thanks to the insanity of the quality level, Tatsumaki has gotten so sexy I burst out laughing See: ONE VS. Yusuke Murata 

Clever folks, I’m positive you could figure out who my favorite One Punch Man characters are. There’s two of them.  The answer is King and Unlicensed Rider Oops there’s Zombieman too

I’ve noticed that washing ashtrays squeaky clean seems to put me in a better mood The Marías - Cariño youtu.be/QHVp9xiUr9U @YouTubeさんから The Marias are soo good The 3 monkies game, the host is so cockeyed that I’m laughing out loud I think he’s talking about サルヂエ(Sarudie), a quiz show about 3 people donned in hyper-realistic monkey attire, overseeing the “homo sapiens” as they try to solve unique questions. Which are usually twists on daily life concepts, find the difference, or digesting puns on pop culture. The word Sarudie(猿知恵) itself refers to something which seems profound but is actually simple and shallow, like monkey business etc, and the hosts are spoofs of The Three Wise Monkeys, while they hooked in a lot of famous figures to be the quiz undertakers. I want the DVDs. Though if SND is talking about a different 3 monkey game then I’m oopsie-doopsie. I heard a voice for the first time in a while

I can feel my manga-artist muscles crippling

nico.ms/sm35308083?ref… #sm35308083 #ニコニコ動画 It’s here!!!!!!!!!! Ref his tweet from earlier 'Is Tanktop Shoutai's new video out yet’. So if any youtuber works with a band on a music video then everyone’s going to assume they’re Starmie next I guess A recent cause of discourse was the twitter account A Starmie Who Wants to Quit My Band(@shhf9kr)*. It originally was suspected of being the side-account of KANA-BOOM's bassist, Meshida, due to the timing of the account's appearance and the unsettling content. Meshida had gone missing for about a week’s time, much to relief he’s returned home, but upon return he’s now taking a break from the band to heal from pressure/anxiety… Which is a huge worry in itself (On top of Alexandros’ drummer going on hiatus because of physical issues and then MONGOL800.....) though for now we only have the power ease his soul.. BUT ANYWAY - This Starmie twitter account tweeted “I’m so far gone with band work that I’ve devolved into a Starmie. ~~~~ I feel so disgusting.” on the exact same date as the dilemma. As the situation progressed the details Starmie revealed about financial problems and wage didn’t match up with KANA-BOOM, so they’ve continued to suspected to be SEKAI NO OWARI, now signing salient as someone named Ishihidari from BASEMENT TIMES, the writer of a snazzy sassy J-Rock blog and band of that same name. Shinoda here is a direct reaction to Starmie’s recent tweet under the lines of “I hate having to work with a youtuber.” Yeah SND you're 100% right, it's now on the radars of us curious critters. Why is the J-rock scene such a pain hoho. I bought new shorts but it’s chilly out today so I’m in a sort of pickle

I tried out lo-fi hiphop style for a change of pace and I ended up making songs I get to feel like I’ve done good work as easy as fast-food, lo-fi hiphop is good Maybe this is fine, we have flowers here (The word in the insta video means "to hide from the rain")

I don’t wanna add screentones

He used a southern accent on this, unlike his usual slurry casual city boy tone. I notice that southern JP seems to simplify the connotation of tone by omitting certain sounds or replacing them with vowels and then they’ll proceed to make the whole phrase more musical, it’s like ending your sentences with a “~” but it’s a whole accent done that way~ vowels are cute, gimme more~ Or maybe not idk It’s a hardship to even work on my manga because of my back pains, people who’ve actually wrecked their back must go through serious hell Kobayashi Doumu (*ref: later in this post): *sends SND a photo of himself hospitalized with crutches and bandages for his back* I was watching Kura-kyun’s stream but, does that guy actually still live in Aichi…? This seems like a rabbit hole I don’t want to dip my toes so I’ll take a step back but… Shotacon Kurage is a long time streamer who seems to get up to a lot of unfavorable antics. のどちんこって呼び名、いくらなんでもメチャクチャ過ぎないか No matter how you put it, isn’t the nickname “throat schlong” just a little too messed up Kids super often call the uvula part of the mouth by that nickname I don’t like the rain because I can’t go out drinking

View this post on Instagram

ボディメンテナンス怠るべからず

A post shared by シノダ (@snd_vs_snd) on Jun 27, 2019 at 11:14pm PDT

One mustn’t slack off on their self-care The drawing says “Shoulder pains”.

シノダ「地球物語 35話 – BABYBABYの夢 – 」 | MEETIA After a 2 month break period, the 35th issue has been topped off. It’s full of all the ideas and memes I’ve accumulated over the whole 2 month span, so please if you may, take it easy on me. And please give it a read. Shinoda “Chikyuu Monogatari: Chapter 35 - Dreams of BABYBABY - meetia.net/manga/shinoda-… #meetia 

Shiohigari, fantastic artist of 1 panel light-heavyhearted gags, girls who share their feelings and a Picasso-esque mascot named after himself. He also happens to share many interests with SND and a decade-long historic friendship with him: That part there, that’s the Robin Mask moment! During the Survivor Match for the Kinniku Throne Arc, the match against Kinnikuman Zebra and Parthenon!  SND: I’ve been exposed Trivia: ●The title "Dreams of BABYBABY” is a reference to the song by TANUKI of the same name. SND’s interest in future funk grows. ●The Chikyuu Monogatari chapter has a parallel to a Kinnikuman scene. When that manga went on hiatus for 3 months due to an illness of the author's, right in the middle of a fight scene's cliffhanger, he returned and doubled-down on it. By making the characters do this:

And SND’s comic has this parallel:

“Wake up!” “Please excuse me. How could I not get sleepy after being left here for 2 months….”“Are we allowed to say this stuff, I’m sorry Yudetamago-sensei.” ●Please keep having fun Shinoda-sensei.

I made 10 lo-fi hiphop songs *They’re magnificent and they’re incoming, check his Instagram for the ongoing bonanza! https://www.instagram.com/snd_vs_snd/  Laundry is so draining  Harassment sentences are going to such extremes that now it’s as if they’re the one’s doing the harassment meow, said the kitten who’s sleeping next to me There’s not actually any kitten sleeping next to me: it’s the imaginary friends in my head

What an article. Don’t be releasing things like this into the world. Do they have no dignity, mishandling words while trying to write about the subject of words.  Emo, in terms of usage and genre, has especially been through a lot of change. But upholding only the era you lived in and then proceeding to feel nostalgia and begrudging the next generation for being different is amazing in itself, not to mention their absolute subjectivity combined with presumptuous usage of “Us”. 

Or, so had spoke the kitten sleeping next to me... In reference to his retweet of this article: https://letters-to-you.life/emoi It’s a petty, convoluted text rebuking the masses for a simplicity and resisting the implacable evolution of language. The word “emoi” in Japan (which is super equivalent to the English "emo") is transforming from not only the emo band subculture or a descriptive of emotional experiences, but also to mean the likes of an adjective for any emotion-evoker and the author is uhhh conservative. Let us get emotional over things!! wowawa lived through all the evolution also and he’s still an enthusiastic user of all definitions of “emo” too...

I’ve been cooking nukaduke at home recently and all I have to say is that home-cooked nukaduke is the best. 

Trivia: Yumao lives together with his super duper saikou cool mother, Yurika.

My nukaduke paste is getting better and better, and the pickles I’m making are amazing. I need to consider cutting back on the salt a bit though.

Ah nukaduke is emo

Yumao has nowset his location to nukaduke, hunger ensues

Kobayashi Doom congrats on a good run & Congrats on the new issue #SupportForLet’sMeal

The picture shown is SND’s face was drawn in the background of Meshi ni Shimashou(Let’s have some food!), a manga by Kobayashi Doom. It’s a story which digs into the lives of a a manga artist and her assistant, who bask in the dying embryos of production and then cook meals with crazy twists or gimmicks to restore their “MP”. There’s an official sneak-peak preview of it here! It’s only available in JP though… If you like the look of it please feel free to yell at your local manga provider to officially translate it, Kobayashi Doom is someone SND is so undeniably influenced by. Especially their series Negi nee-san. A webcomic about a surreal girl drowned in surreal antics. It’s usually rooted in nonsense and that’s the grandest appeal. The visuals consist of copy-pasted collages, intricate professional art dynamics, cute girls, to stoic jokes such as “’seven eleven is an integer so seven & I is a complex number” and mostly references to mathematics or science or Jojo. The most parroted one is “Yes” “Not yes”. Also worthy of mention is that things resembling Negi-neesan’s various nameless beasts will show up as backdrop etc. in SND’s manga Chikyuu Monogatari. And most importantly here, there’s even a comic about Shinoda on that link, with the Let’s Meal characters! It reads: Madare ”Who's that?" Omega "From the band 'Hitorie',His name is Shinoda and he seems to be a zealous fan of mine, (sign reads: zealous whatever food hall) He told me he wants me to experience his recent works so he sent me the mp3"Madare “Ooh Isn’t Hitorie that [insert amazing praise here]“. Omega “Look, he’s even wearing a Negi-T (Negi-nee-san’s surreal brand) in this video” (Reference: In the Talkie Dance MV he wears this one) Woah　Click-click Omega “So now, I’ve listened to it 100 times but in sheer honesty I don’t know anything about rock besides the band Ningen Isu so I thought I’d use this comic as an equivalent of an answer to him, a sort of "guess my feelings" quiz. Madare “I see you're popping your conman skill again. (You’ve even beaten me with that skill before )” “I’ve been eavesdropping. Time to cook a meal and get together with him” Omega “I like it." *The chorus lyrics to Hitorie's NAI from ai/SOlate are written on the top left corner, Kobayashi Doumu on the right, and the beastly text written next to the youkai-looking Shinoda in slide one I believe is an feisty ateji encrypting ‘For Shinoda’. SND replied to that comic too! Saying “Even insane miracles can happen huh, Doom-sensei thank you so much!! No this is seriously sick, wtf…." Q.E.D. Kobayashi Doom is strangely important for SND’s character development.

This isn’t specifically concurrent with my current feelings but The text on the video reads “I like you I like you!l I snuck a glance at myself in the mirror and my back has a hunch far worse than I even imagined SND’s RT:  ONE BY ONE RECORDS, the indies label, is hanging up the hat after 12 years of service…. Ahhhh… Congrats and good luck on future ventures oh employees..  Key to this article is the band, JONNY. A Weezer cover/original group of which, a certain familiar chestnut-headed rock hero played for. I’ll save the stories of the explorations into that beloved dark past dungeon for another day but, yes, click that link and you’ll see, that glasses fella is a young Shinoda in the flesh.  I woke up in the middle of the night. Have a listen to this if you plan to go to bed anytime soon. instagram.com/p/BzV23p6HpRl/… Written on the drawing is “Poyashimi”, which simply means “Oyasumi (Good night)". It was originally just a misspell due to “O” and “P” being so close on standard keyboards but, it’s cute so it’s been adopted in it’s own rights. Can been paired with “Pokita (= Okita = I just woke up)” in the morning. Cute. I wanna go to the beach instagram.com/p/BzawsWGHaGg/…

I wrote MUNEYAKE but I myself don’t have any muneyake heartburn, that’s all there is to it I couldn’t make the bubble tea visible without making the emblem on the hat invisible, and just fought a weird-ass battle with this https://www.instagram.com/p/Bzh7fqRnkBQ/?igshid=1hmx49pswt6ns … “Yasumi" means like “take a breather"

I recorded drums for Sasaki Sayaka’s song, the ending theme for 'Ultraman Taiga’. I used a big and powerful setup for this. The broadcasts start on 7/6. I can’t wait. Also Taro's son is crazy. Ultraman Taro's son is the main character of this new spinoff tokusatsu series! The ending song is called “Hitotsubishi” and will premiere along the first episode, I’ll update this if an official video arrives later, so we can listen to it! I watched the first episode of Taiga, I’m think I’m gonna cry.

This morning a drunken me slipped while walking down the stairs, and turned into the Kinnikuman side of the Kinniku-Buster. My butt hurts. Smack down on the floor, legs aflight.

colormal’s concert was downright fantastic, everybody listen to colormal https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJ83BZ_BIHA&feature=youtu.be

colormal, a galvanized nerd who turned his hobby into a hopping constitution for his livelihood, his quest for the alternative rock. He makes music alone and he’s namely even inspired by Shinoda’s past solo project “cakebox”. He’s bound to mention a cakebox song in his interviews, on top of a whopping list of other western or indie bands. His music itself has flows of climaxes into unfluctuating concord and it’s either guitar or guitar with pretty effects and I enjoy it SND. His filling bassist, Matsuyama, was even thrilled! https://twitter.com/mtymJb/status/1147537998898069504

My body isn’t able to finish even the small size ramen with full toppings. “Mashi” is a trademark menu option of the chain Ramen Jiro. It’s under the lines of “Pile it up”. You can choose to pile up a bit of everything like Shinoda seems to, or you can choose from specific topping such as veggies or meats. If you ever go into such a ramen shop, try shouting “yasai mashi mashi!” or “buta mashi mashi!” for a heap of piggie. 

Tokyo Shoegazer are definite They’re an indies band who had a concert in Shinjuku that day! One of their most recent tweets draws my attention 👀 The wheat and grated yam beef meal at Yoshinoya is delectable but, the sign says the large rice portion and refills are given for free until 11 PM, but when I go there’s a fee on the large portion, how am I supposed to interpret this Reply: I work at Yoshinoya but the free portions and refills is a recent offer, the menus just haven’t been reprinted to represent it… The meal packages generally all have free refills and large rice portions. Shinoda: Thank you. Ref: their ENG menu. Feel free to use this information if you ever get the chance to go to a Yoshidora!!(?) SWEET https://www.instagram.com/p/Bznm6DTH-Gs/ I want to see Siamese Cats live They’re a definite J-rock band who have tinges of psychedelic and a sort of 80’s pop style to their music. They had an outdoor show the day before SND tweeted this, but they also have a 10th Year Anniversary Celebration concert this December. SND GO! Siamese Cats - Escape Eve (Official Video) 2018　　シャムキャッツ - 逃亡前夜 https://youtu.be/5Jtd5nmI0Fc

salad days was on Amazon Prime so I gave it a gander but it was really fucking good. The walking alone Straight Edge scene or at the beginning when everyone was partying together until strange people starting flooding in one by one and the safety of the concert went downhill Or how the terminology “emocore” doesn’t resonate at all with people who were directly associated with it at the outset.

The fact that controversy which we’re still having today has existed since the 80’s is an astonishment
 Also once the Smells Like~ MV wrought the knowledge of crowd-surfing (stage-diving) upon the world, and then the crowd became a flood of stage-divers so much that Fugazi lost his temper, that scene was so good

The joint show with Trouble Funk, when they were reflecting on what became the final Minor Threat show, everyone was vocalizing the horrors, the turmoil of it, yet I laughed when only Ian said it wasn’t that bad

Not disregarding how these types of issues really did exist those days, ultimately the concerts and their music really are awesome, the energy and thrill everyone held was amazing

Formidable figures such as Thurston Moore and Dave Grohl are shown looking back on the past, and then pops in J Mascis with such batshit indifference that I laughed again 
Why does Ian MacKaye not have a Japanese wiki page If it draws your attention here’s the link!:https://www.amazon.com/Salad-Days-Fred-Armisen/dp/B01MAV0YAH I’m not specifically feeling emo https://www.instagram.com/p/BzqVd4wnaOX/?igshid=nhnyzm9vipdi …“emoi”

[flat-san]

The music ask, 28

Thanks for asking! :)

28: A song by an artist with a voice that you love

.... You had to pick one of the hardest ones, huh. XD

I usually don't pay attention to the voice so much as the lyrics, so I don't think I HAVE any "voices I love"?

So instead, here's a few bunch of different people/groups who I think have very nice/interesting sounds to their music! :)

Japanese:

"Lone Wolf" by Yuki Akira

Yuki Akira- I stumbled across this MV of hers by chance a while back, and I really like how emotive her voice sounds! :)

"Take My Chance", Doll$Boxx

A Japanese girl group with a metal/rock sound that isn't Baby Metal (who are also very fun)? Sign me up! I really enjoy how the clean vocalist and the screamer/drummer's voices interact in this song from the group Doll$Boxx!

English:

"Battle Cries", The Amazing Devil

Joey Batey- He plays the bard Jaskier in the Witcher series, but I really like him for the band he co-leads with Madeleine Hyland, "The Amazing Devil". And it's ALSO because I find their voices highly emotive!

"Pale White Horse", The Oh Hellos

This song in particular for its haunting quality, I tend to like The Oh Hellos for their kinda wispy, intangible-ish sounding music? It's hard to put into words, but I like their sound!

"Summer Nights" and "The Wolf", SIAMÉS

SIAMÉS has a very interesting sound, and in "Summer Nights" especially it genuinely puts me in a nostalgic mood and feeling! "The Wolf" is better to hear a bouncier, spookier kind of sound from them!

Chinese:

"Running After You With All I Have", Bibi Zhou

I first heard this singer/song in the end credits of the film "Our Shining Days", and may or may not have rewound the credits seventeen times in a row just to keep listening to the song. There's just something very compelling about it to me!

"Sorrowful Coral", The LifeJourney

Can't find this song ANYWHERE online, so I'm linking to a tumblr post- I hope it works. It's another song where the emotional feeling is the most important thing to me, and I can't explain why I like it!

Argh there were some in French and German ones I wanted to bring up too, but it's late and I have work in the morning, so alas. Another time! :)

[chcsingdrecms]

ronan can play a few instruments- he’s a half decent drummer and has some talent for guitar. he’s relatively hopeless at reading music, but he’s got the knack of being able to learn music by ear which is how he’s learned to play most of what he knows, if not all of what he knows. he’s the worst when he hosts a campaign at his apartment for his buddies, because he can and will actually play music in character for what ever his current (most likely a bard) character-- it’s part of why he usually is the dm when they play at his place. 

[obscureoldscotspoems]

Epistle tae Davie

Dear Davie Lad                    It gies me pleesure Noo in this evenin' oor o' leesure, Tae write tae ye this Lallans jingle, As I sit bi a cheery ingle. Nae doot ye'll think this puny verse, That winna roose the universe, Nor gar great pundits an' their minions, Tae overhaul erstwhile opinions. O' wha in Lallans poetry, 'S maist fit wi' Burns tae bear the gree, Let's leave it 'til "Sir John de Graeme", Tae win me literary fame. As poetry its somewhit better, Than the lame verse intil this letter, But let that pass, it winna maitter.

I see that Scotia's heath ye've quitted, An' tae the Soothlan' ye hae flitted, Some gate aboot the Howe o' Lincoln, - Faur cry frae Glesca' Toon, I'm thinkin'. Ma rhymes may better serve nor prose, Tae mind ye on "The Land o' Brose", O' whilk a wheen droll tales are tauld, Whaurin Truth's aft gey sairly mauled. Haud on, Dave, till I limn a scene, Will aiblins shaw ye whit I mean, Come, jine me on a Caledonian tour, I hope your pleesure in it turns na sour.

O Scotia, land o lochs an' bens, Crags, peat hags an' stags in glens, An' Heilan' stots at the lochan's edges, Slorpin' the mists amang the sedges, O Scotia, land o' the bonnie glens, Whaur shilpit loons frae "single ends", Thrang in droves wi' their keelie molls, Tae seek refreshment for their sauls. Bravin' the vagaries o' the weather, Traikin' your hills o' purple heather. See them "foot it out together Be it fair or stormy weather." - O leeze me on yon hiker billies, Wi' their tartan socks an' ukeleles, On whilk they twang hill-billy tunes, O leeze me on yon hiker loons! -

O Scotia, hame o' Burns an' Barrie, "Bonny Mary" an' "Annie Laurie", "Scots wha hae" an' Scots wha hinnae, Donald Dhu an' Donald Dinnie; The hame o' aa' that's great an' true, As ony Scotsman will alloo. O Scotia, land o' sma' kailyairds, Prood clan chiefs an' bunnet lairds, Land o' the pipes, an' hame o' the tartan, An' weather keen's the claw o' partan, Tae freeze the knees o' sturdiest Spartan. No that the weather irks true Scots, Wha eidently sup their parritch oats.

O Scotia, caa the clansmen frae their hames, The tourists maun hae Hielan' Games, Caa frae the clachans, crofts an' castles, The chiefs, their senechies an' dunniewassals The pipers, drummers, bards an' ghillies Yon's the braw sichts for tourist billies - The kilted hurdies an' kirtled shuthers The bunnets bristlin' wi' blackcocks' feathers - It's no the tourist ilka day Can boast they've seen sic fine array Sae let them hae their Hielan' Games For they hae traipsied frae their hames In carefu' search o' local colour; Then dinna vex. They've rowth o' siller Their gowd'll steek the dollar gap Oor games pit us upon the cultural map Bayreuth an' Stratford could scarce be on a par Wi' the annual glories o' Royal Braemar.

(There's a "Road to the Isles" an' "A Window in Thrums" But we'll ne'er let a wheest o' the acres o' slums For there are some things are better unsaid Since we maunna imperil the great tourist trade).

Tourists hae come faur frae their hames Sae let them see the Hielan' Games.

Let lassies jinglin' wi' medallions Dance an' prance wi' rare agility While stalwart men as strang as stallions         Perform according tae abeelity Let athletes wechts an' hammers hurl Let kiltie dancers boo an' birl Let pipers gie the bags a dirl O let the martial music skirl

(Oh, the brave music of a distant drum An' distant pipes soun' sweeter still, think some).

Let pipers gie the bags a dirl An' let the brave, braw music skirl                For guidness kens Tourists will threep wi' satisfaction They've seen an' heard the clans in action                Amang their native glens.

Here endeth noo this Caledonian pageant, A droller clanjamphrie was ne'er imajin't Tho' I've set oot ma views in pure pastiche T'was gude tae let ma feelin's aff the leash.

Ma letter stertit wi' an even chimean O ane line wi' the neist ane rhyman But noo, ye'll see, in the hindmaist stanza Ma rhyme scheme coorts extravaganza As on the Sabbath ilk kirk bell            Rings its ain chime An' wi' its neebour disna mell            Sae wi' ma rhyme The gate ma Muse gangs, maun dae me Albeit it leads ma prosody ajee But no for peevish murnins did I invoke the Muse Sae Davie lad, pu' in your chair an' hear ma views

The doors are snecked, the windaes steekit The fire alowe, the hoose weel beekit An there, his languid length oot-streekit                    Upon the mat Wi' een whiles shut, an whiles hauf-keekit                    Behold oor cat! Blinkin' an' govean at the gleeds Wi' een as green as emerald beads The name is Angus, masculine gender His favourite neuk beside the fender Ilk nicht he diligently hugs He purrs whane'er ye scart his lugs Mair nor the cat within the hoose This nicht is feelin' unco croose.

Aa day I've tholed the elemental fury Sae noo it's gran' fornent the fire tae coorie The lang darg on the hill's complete An' I hae ate my evenin' meat - Nae Benmore cheat-the-belly stuff But halesome food an aye enough Weel-cuiked an' served in a mair gracious way Nor macaroni in a creeshy tray E'en Daisy Watson wad alloo It maun be "chacun à son goût" Sae I hae tauld ma guidwife Joanie That "mon goût n'est pas macaroni" An noo I dine as weel's I may Wha toil tae win a pund a day.

Davie ye'll see frae oor address We bidena faur frae Inverness - I'll tell ye o' that toun again Quhilk to considder is ane pane -

Kiltarlity's oor pairish Foxhole's the nearest schule Battan's the place we live at Heich upon a hill.

The locals arena boorish Tho' some in mainner cool As if no to be a Lovat Was tae mark ye for a fool

In Beaufort Castle's pomp The Lovat Frasers bide Their lives a shinean lamp Tae aa the kintrae-side.

(Davie, ye'll think me sair At the Hielanders' expense But why the unco steer Their inordinate reverence

For whit's gane by lang syne? Why their deid forbears mimic? Here's Caledonia's sin - The cult of the patronymic!).

An' here for ye's anither fact Ma Muse owre easily's side-tracked I promised ye I'd gie ye news, Instead ye've heard me gab ma views On the Hielan scene as I construe it Tho' maybe no as the tourists view it This point I've dinged as wi' a hammer - There's mair tae Scotland nor glib glamour Sae noo "retrones à nos moutons" An tak' up the burden o' my story I was aboot tae introduce Ye tae the environs o' ma hoose Sax hunnert feet abune sea level An' bluffert lik' the verra devil In winter bi the angry gale That brings in turn, snaw, rain an hail The Battan wudes hae aa been felled Leavan the hillsides cauld an' beld O timmer bare but wi' stumps a-bristle Thro' whilk the wind wi' eerie whistle Comes pouncean, bouncean frae the wast Tae skelp an skite us wi' his blast Till simmer comes we hae nae help But thole snell Boreas's skelp Bidean in hope o' better times An' dreamin' oor dreams o' warmer climes

A curse upon the bard did sing A garden is a lovesome thing Him wad I shaw ma so-caad garden An' speir gin he'd no beg ma pardon Oor forrit prospect, I'll confess Is nocht but sterile wilderness A "waste land", "a blasted heath" O' ling abune an' rock beneath An' yet anither weed's nae lackan - It's Scotia's curse, the creepin' bracken This birn o' stanes an' scanty soil Hauds oot the promise o' sair toil I've no as yet e'er had the hert Tae tak' a spade an' mak a stert "A garden is a lovesome thing, God wot" When I see mine a lump comes in ma throat And a tear I canna hide What guid's a gairden in this bleak kintrae-side?

Did I say bleak? That's hardly true; Ae thing we hae's a glorious view I wad neglect the poet's duty Gin I peyed nae tribute tae its beauty Northward an' faur intil the wast Great rugged hills lie ranged an' massed Raw on raw o' serried peaks That hae been wreathed in snaw for weeks While tae the east, closer at hand There lies a strath o gude fairm-land Noo Dave, afore I end ma sang A word o' the chiels we bide amang They till the yird, an' tint their flocks The same as ither kintrae folks - We're aa the self-same britherhood Aa bairnies o' Jock Tamson's brood Whither we hail frae oot the Lallands Or claim oorsels as Hielan' callants Tho' here there are, as aawhere else The few wha preen an' pride themsels An ettle tae heeze up a steer Because they've hained a puckle gear - There's mair wi' siller can be coft Than graith tae plenish fairm or croft - Their parks are snodly ploo'd an' harrow'd But the lanskip o' their minds is arid Belyve I hae come tae expect Nae kindred speerit o' intellect Whan we hae said "It's cold to-day" There's little else for us tae say Whan we've agreed 'tis stormy weather We'se be tongue-tacket baith thegither Whan we've remarked his neeps are frostit Oor common store o' talk's exhausted I kenna the respective merits O' takin' game wi' snares or ferrits Nor wha's held in the maist esteem Intil the local shinty team - As yet I've had nae time tae gove at Newtonmore, Strathglass or Lovat -

I see that, Davie, at your place Ye're in a similar sad case Talk o' cabbages an' trees Hae no the interest aye tae please; Wi kail an' conifers replete The mind sune greins for ither meat Sae Dave, ma fier, I hope that this'll Draw frae ye a lang epistle In while ye'll treat me tae your views news Forbye your much-respectit views I wad gie much tae hae ye back That we micht hae an auld-time crack

At New Year, Joan an' I gaed doon Tae veesit Perth an' Fankertoun Renew the ties o' flesh an' bane An' see the weel-kent spots again T'wad fill a page or twaa wi' rhyme Tae tell ye hoo we spent the time Suffice it then for me tae say On Hogmanay we were right gay I maun allow I felt gey cheerie Tho' dinna think I was camsteerie Juist ae nicht i' the lee-lang year I frae the straucht an' nerra veer An' wi' ma freens I mak' carousal An' tae a dram gie nae refusal Baith Rabbie Burns an' auld Khayyam Advise us tae tak aff oor dram An autram dram is nae abhorrent That has sic worthy poets' warrant Sae ilk New Year I rise up on ma hams An' gie ma freens a stave o' "Nicky Tams" An auld sang yon, but fresh as salad Ye canna beat a gude-gaun bothy ballad Wi' the tang o' the yird in't an' a braw tune forbye I like tae sing it when I'm feelin' spry

The evenin's still are lang an' mirk An whan I staucher hame frae wark An' whan I've had ma evenin' meal There's naethin' that I loe sae weel As tae draw intil the ingle-neuk Tae pree the pleasure o' some beuk Whiles it be prose, but maistly verse Yeats or Burns or auld Dunbars Tho' Burns is richtly weel-respeckit The auld grey horse is sair neglickit "Gret reuth it wer that so suld be" Whan he in technique bears the gree Owre Burns an' Henryson an' the lave At turnin' oot a polished stave Burns may command the human heart Dunbar commands the greater art.

Ma ain idea o' Paradise Rigged oot anew in earthly guise Is tae lie back in an easy chair Whan "Poetry Scotland" taks the air Let ne'er a soun' i' the hoose be heard That I micht savour ilka word That smools sae sauve frae the siller tongue O yon beardid bardie, Douglas Joung (sic) In readin' verse there's ane wey o' it An yon lad kens it. He's a poet O I abhor lik' vilest pooshion Practitioners o' elocution They set me rantin' in a rage They mind me o' some village stage Whaur maids an' matrons simper thru' Their pairty piece, syne tak a boo This is caad, "Giving recitations" Sic antics pit me oot o' patience Tae talk gin their mous were stapped wi' bools An' think they're speakin' verse, the fools "But they're only doing their best, poor dears" Then lat them dae it for ithers ears!

Dootless ma freen, ye're boond tae think The maist o' this mere crambo clink An gin ye dae ye're no tae blame For I wad be the last tae claim That this, ma poem, had muckle worth Yet we'll no froon upon its birth For I maun threep juist aince again T'was written you tae entertain I its makar downa be blate Tae thank the lass wha helped me oot The lass I'm meanin, ye'll jalouse Tae be ma puir, lang-sufferin' Muse She stertit oot fu' braw an' jimp But noo puir lass, she's got a limp We'll mak' an end ere it gets worse An' is refleckit in oor verse Sae frae the Muse, ma wife an' me Tae Margaret, wee Jane an' ye We send ye greetin's an' gude weel An' hope that ye're aye bidean weel That Fortune ne'er does ye a shavie S' ma wish for ye, ma gude freen Davie.

                          Robert Thomson,                                     Kiltarlity,                                         Beauly,                                             Inverness-shire.

Written in the early 1950s. Bob Thomson was my grandfather, and I knew him as Papa Bob. He served in the Royal Navy during World War II, and after the war he joined the Forestry Commission, and had a long career living in various places in the Highlands. He had a keen interest in poetry and prose, and in photography. He died in 1991.