#a couple of my friends didn’t understand the comic lol

[dovesick]

bryan the werewolf-wolf can’t keep a job. it all goes fine until the full moon, then something changes inside him. he goes into work at the pizza place, and can’t stop himself from devouring every slice. when his colleagues try to stop him, they become the new side dish loool (hexoween 7: curse of the full moon)

[cheesyv]

Rating Hazbin Hotel & Helluva Boss Ships

——————

I was originally going to post 2 different things (one for HH & another for HB) but I decided I would bring them together cause there are some ships involving characters from both. So This is gonna be a long behind post :]

-

This should be obvious but for those who might get confused about the colors:

Green - For the higher rated ships. I love or think that ship could work

Orange- For both high and low rated ships. I’m on the fence for that ship. So I could have easily given it a lower or higher rating

Red - For lower rated ships. I hate or think that ship couldn’t work

-

——————

HH

Alastor/Lucifer 10/10 I’m a sucker for enemies to lovers tropes 😭 like I know it’s most likely not going to be canon (and let’s bfr a lot of our ships won’t be) but that’s part of the fun. I find the fics and art hilarious and absolutely adorable. I think the cutest thing is them being in a QPR 🤭

Husk/Angel 10/10 They are cute. Husk and Angel talking, bonding and all that fun crap lol

Alastor/Rosie 10/10 I ABSOLUTELY LOVE the idea of them being in a QPR.

Charlie/Vaggie 9/10 They are so cute and supportive, and fit well together

Vox/Lucifer/Alastor 8/10 Lucifer and Vox become Alastor’s simps, and pull him into all their crazy ‘adventures’ 💀 They start dating but Alastor doesn’t fully comprehend it. I find it kinda funny to imagine Lucifer & Vox thinking they’re all dating but that doesn’t even pop up in Al’s head. (Let’s be for real, Alastor is just barely holding himself together and “tolerating” them and maybe eventually growing fond of them)

Lucifer/Vox 7/10 I like the idea of them partnering together (in fake dating or partnership in hating and fighting Al) to spite Alastor.

Alastor/Vox 6/10 I’m not the biggest fan of this ship. I enjoy the art I see and find some of the comics funny/cute but truly my heart will always belong to radioapple 😔

Vox/Val 10/10 They are most likely already sleeping together and act like a old married couple in the show, just work on Vox’s obsession with Alastor (and Val’s character but you know that probably ain’t happening) and BOOM could be good (tho I think Val finds amusement in Vox’s obsession so idk).

Val/Vox/Velvette 3/10 Don’t really see them all actually dating or being more than business partners/family.

Adam/Lucifer 4/10 Yeah that would totally work 💀 cause Lucifer totally didn’t fuck both of his wifes and I wouldn’t be surprised if he tried it on Adam too. Plus I feel like there would be alot of beef between them. (Adam did attack the hotel and Charlie, they might have some more history then just wife stealing cause you know heaven/earth stuff) But i must admit I like the fan art of them.

Alastor/Angel 4/10 I just don’t like the idea of them together very much. 🤷‍♀️ no specific reason honestly, I never liked the ship even during the plot

Val/Angel 1/10 You understand. Val is shit and treats Angel like he’s shit.

Lucifer/Lilith 7/10 Im suspicious of Lilith. 🤨 I really hope she actually cares about her family 😔 I like seeing them in the garden of Eden and raising Charlie like a happy family but idk, something is off about her. I also love the angst 🤭

Rosie/Lilith 6/10 Is kinda cute but I don’t know enough about both characters (especially Lilith). 🧐 If they are even actually who they say they are (theory post) 🧐

Adam/Lute 8/10 I like this ship, they obviously have history and some sort of chemistry. The relationship might be alittle unhealthy tho. I also like to think of them in a father/daughter or mentor/mentee type relationship.

Cherri/SirPentious 7/10 Sir Pentious likes it and deserves love. I’m a little fiffy on this one cause of Cherri. But she can definitely gain genuine feelings (too bad he’s not within her reach anymore 😏) so I’ll give her some slack lol

Zestial/Carmilla 8/10 I ship it. They obviously have some sort of history and are friends.

Charlie/Emily 1/10 They’re so alike that I see them more as sisters than anything.

Charlie/Alastor ?/10 I don’t know anymore 😭 I used to not like it but now this ship is slowly growing on me. Especially after reading this. <- That post just makes sense and honestly I wouldn’t be mad if it was canon. It’s making me question “everything” lol

Husk/Lucifer 8/10 I like it as a platonic ship. I think they be good friends and can easily talk to each other. I really like @drazhaq’s comics of Lucifer cuddling Husk and him not being overwhelmed talking to husk.

Husk/Alastor 3/10 Not a big fan, I prefer Huskerdust

Cherri/Angel 2/10 They are best friends and I don’t think Cherri would be a good partner for Angel. Plus he’s gay.

——————

HB

Striker/Chaz 6/10 Honestly? They both got some sex drive in them lol. Wouldn’t be to bad if Chaz wasn’t dead ☠️

Chaz/Moxxie/Millie 1/10 I don’t like it. You can tell Moxxie and Millie didn’t like it either

Chaz/Blitzo 3/10 wouldn’t have worked out 🤷‍♀️ plus Blitz ?loves (?that’s what imma use lol) Moxxie and Millie to much to go dating someone who’s hated by them and (I must add) a lousy fuck/fucker.

Martha/Mayberry 7/10 😭 They realized the man wasn’t worth it so they hooked up instead. I’m not against it 🙌 if they got over their differences then sure, go for it ladies.

Stolas/Blitzo 7/10 ugh 😩 Honestly hate the way things are going and how they treat each other (specially Blitz). If they can’t figure it out, it’d be better to just split up and go on their separate ways. But I do want them to work out their issues and become happy together. They are so cute together when they ain’t doing the toxic tango.

Loona/Octavia 2/10 See them more as siblings, friends or mentor/mentee

Stolas/Stella 1/10 Hell no :)

Stolas/Striker 1/10 Striker was literally paid to kill Stolas. Even tho Stolas finds him hot doesn’t mean it’d work out lol.

Stella/Striker 4/10 They can go fuck off with each other :)

Fizzaroli/Blitz 10/10 As a romantic ship, hell no. As a platonic ship, hell yes. I’m glad they made up and are friends again, they are such a good duo :) (Tho I won’t complain if there’s some platonic make out sessions between the two /J)

Fizzarolli/Ozzie 10/10 They are ADORABLE together 😭 They way Ozzie is with Fizz makes me happy.

Moxxie/Millie 10/10 They are perfect for each other. If you ship one of these characters with any one else, how dare you 😠

Verosika/Blitzo 3/10 Obviously Blitz doesn’t like her like that and Verosika doesn’t anymore. They had their struggles and I’m glad in the end it was somewhat “sort out”. I hope they can be friends at least, if not that’s understandable.

Mammon/Fizzarolli 2/10 Mammon’s true love is money 🤑 and he treated Fizz like shit just to get more.

Stolas/DudeThatAskedHimToDance 6/10 Ah. I think it’s cute and could be healthier and less harming than the relationship Stolas has with Blitz. If Stoliz doesn’t work out then this could be an option. 🤷‍♀️

Loona/Vortex 7/10 I think they’d be cute together but you know he’s already in a relationship with bee

——————

HH & HB

Lucifer/Stolas 7/10 Two emotionally damaged dads? They’d be cute and would bond over being hurt by someone they love and their relationship with their daughters. But I think I like the idea of them being friends way better.

Verosika/Valentino 3/10 I don’t know 💀 I’ve been thinking about this one for a day or two. I’m just gonna say no

Ozzie/Angel 3/10 like the idea of Angel going to Ozzie for help/work, but nothing more

Loona/Cherri 7/10 Honestly? Two badass people = badass power couple lol

Loona/Charlie 2/10 not a big fan 🤷‍♀️

Blitzo/Angel 6/10 It could work, both are vulgar and brash. They got issues that could be worked on together. But those issues they got can also be a big problem in the relationship (as it is in helluva boss between Stolas & Blitz). But, if not romantically, then they could be great business partners.

Stolas/Angel & Fizzarolli/Angel 6/10 Platonic ship! Could go two ways: a good fuck or besties for life. I love the idea of them shopping and gossiping together. I don’t particularly think they’d work as a couple tho.

Fizzarolli/Angel/Stolas 6/10 Platonic ship! Could definitely be besties. Bonding over the lovers and tyrants in their lives, going shopping etc. Don’t think they all would/could be lovers.

——————

What’s your favorite/least favorite ship in HH & HB?

✨ Thanks for reading :) ✨

——————

[eveledoze]

Which tadc ship do you like more? Funnybunny or Showtime?

oh well long-post comes-

okay i did a little searching, since i often don't understand such ship names. if google doesn't lie to me, then the first one is Pomni/Jax, and the second is Pomni/Caine.

damn, I thought funnybunny was the name for Ragatha/Jax 💔💔

i don't ship Pomni/Jax but i find the pairing cute. i don't sense any special dynamic between them, Jax just makes fun of her the same way he makes fun of everyone else because he's a jerk (i say this lovingly). when i discovered that this pairing was the most popular in the fandom, i didn’t really understand why, since i wouldn’t say that there was anything particularly interesting going on between these two. I think the dynamics between Jax and Ragatha were more distinct, which I immediately noticed, they had tension and i really liked it x) but then, after thinking about it a little, i realized why Pomni/Jax is the most popular ship (I guess?? it's just my supposition) — people combined two of the most main characters, one of whom is a badass-tumblr-sexyman, and the second is an angsty ordinary person with whom people could identify themselves. anyway i just find it funny that so many people like this ship. i saved fanarts of these two a couple of times because i thought they were cute. to be honest, kitsch's (@ bunnyjesters/ nuzipilled) works probably influenced my opinion about this ship the most. arts with Pomni and Jax from kitsch is probably my favorite among all the other fanarts for this couple, i think that he well preserves their canon behavior and characters despite the fact that the pairing itself in the cartoon is non-canon, and their interactions in his art feel quite realistic for me! i love how kitsch draws them and how he uses gestures and body language to show their emotions, it's very, very cute. so yeah, i don't ship them, but i do find some of the fanart of them cute. i drew this a while ago, so have this if it will make you happy 🌸

now Kaine/Pomni...ahmmm, to be honest, i was even more surprised that this is probably the second most popular pairing in the fandom? :D apparently it really comes across often and haha, i don’t understand it... i’ve never been interested in the dynamics of student/teacher or employee/boss, in my understanding there can be no romance in their relationship, maximum platonic, family relationships, understanding each other. Kaine is very quirky and doesn't seem like he's interested in romance (i generally like Kaine/Moon, but i really think Kaine is just confused by Moon's behavior since he's not interested in her romantically x)). it's more like he treats all the guys in circus like friends, colleagues or something like that. so yeah, it's weird for me to see romantic stuff with Pomni/Caine, but like the first one, occasionally i might come across fanart with them that i think is cute. once I saw a mini-comic (don't remember the author) dedicated to that circus teaser, in the comic Caine suddenly appeared in Pomni's room. Pomni, out of fear, hits him sharply, after which he got upset and she began to apologize <з

if we talk about my fav ship, i love Ragatha/Jax! i don't remember this "name" for the pairing, but yes, that's them. dynamics like theirs are my favorite dynamic in couples, i just love it when characters can't stand each other lol. i love the tension between them and i'm afraid i paid too much attention to it while watching the pilot... oh my god, a moron, who pisses everyone off, with a good-natured girl, who wants to help everyone, but she has to deal with this asshole. i guess it's the "from hate to love" trope, right? i like that the first thing that manifests itself in such couples is negativity, they just piss each other off and cannot calm down. but after a while the annoying cools down and they begin to open up to each other. ofc i don't know Gooseworks’ plans, but you guys probably thought that Jax is actually not such a jerk as he shows himself to be, and in fact he is a deeper character, with his own traumas and trials? let's not turn this into a tragic sob story, but nevertheless, Gooseworks said "every tadc character has a reason why they behave the way they do" and i believe that we will be revealed that. it seems to me that to some extent Jax and Ragatha can complement each other. Like, you know, it’s like N helps Uzi cool down and be calm, and Uzi helps N to be confident and defend his positions. maybe Jax can show Ragata that her toxic positivity is not the best option and sometimes you need to be tough, and Ragatha can help him open up, share his problems and well...to be less jerk-like. and yes, of course i can't get it out of my head that Jax called her "dollface" while he gave the others rude nicknames haha

also i like Ragatha/Pomni, i probably don’t pay much attention to them, but they're good. there are cute interactions between them and it seems that Ragatha was better than the others in being able to approach her and become somewhat of a friend. Ragatha has this energy of a caring mother or something, so her desire to help Pomni get comfortable in the circus and direct her to positive thoughts is cute. at the same time, Pomni looks extremely confused, but Ragatha is the one she turns to because she seems the most adequate and friendly of the others. i liked to draw how they hug, but in i think that most likely Ragatha would not have allowed herself to hug someone without asking, at least she would have asked permission x) however, it seems to me that physical contact and kind words are Ragatha's way of support, so simply holding hands with her would calm Pomni down

also i like Pomni/Gangle and Gangle/Kinger and i don'tind other ships as well !!

[maycontainsimonella]

Nischa Oneshot - Getting together drabble lol

keep in mind this is definitely not beta read and was thrown together in like half an hour! enjoy!!

Noel was sitting alone on a bench in the schoolyard when he first realized he had feelings for his best friend.

It was late, a cool breeze was starting to get through his sweater vest. The transition from summer to fall was beginning, very early on in the school year. Noel was dreading the walk home, He was dreading being alone with his thoughts.

He was dreading being alone with him. The one boy whose opinions mattered most to him. Mischa Bachinski.

Noel waited, everyday like clockwork after choir practice, until Mischa came out to greet him. Sometimes they’d walk out together and sit, talk for a few minutes then walk home together. He felt like he was holding Mischa back. Mischa was sweet, honourable even, always looking out for Noel, getting into way too many fist fights with catholic hockey boys.

He was Noel’s hero.

Mischa lived a few streets down from Noel, with his neglectful foster parents. Noel despised them, with a burning passion. Mischa didn’t like going home either, yet, the best part of the day was, according to him, going home. Noel didn’t really understand why at first.

Noel would stand with Mischa at the end to his own street, give Mischa a good farewell fist bump as Mischa looked at him with the saddest puppy dog eyes. He looked like he wanted to say something but really couldn’t.

Until one day he finally gathered the courage. Mischa asked Noel a very simple question.

“Poet.” Mischa called him that as a term of endearment, they were standing together at the end of Noel’s street like always.

“Can I stay at your home? Just for this night.”

Noel felt frozen, it was like his heart stopped whenever Mischa made eye contact with him, his guts felt like molten chocolate.

“I mean- maybe my mom is out for a little vacation, I’ve been home alone for the past couple days. I don’t know how she’d feel about me having someone over.” He looked at the cement beneath their feet, trying to think about something, anything else.

“My parents had fight over something stupid, I do not want to get in middle of that again.” Mischa seemed to mumble. He was noticeably softer with Noel, everyone felt it. Including them.

“You know what sure. It’ll be fine. I think I have some pyjamas you can borrow. Might be a little small but.” Noel said, a smile appearing on his face. Mischa wanted to stay the night with him, as friends, nothing else.

“You are the very best, Poet.” He pulled into Noel into a very sudden hug, which Noel awkwardly soothed him through, then they made their way to Noel’s house down the street.

When they both walked inside, Noel started to heat up a frozen pizza for the both of them, Mischa flopped down on Noel’s mom’s expensive couch with a hard thud. After setting a timer for the pizza, Noel sat with Mischa, Mischa had pulled out his phone and was very wrapped up in it, with a concerned expression.

“What is it? Do your parents need you home?” Noel asked with a small amount of concern in his voice.

“No, they really do not care. It is my Talia, she is saying she is wanting to- open relationship? She says she met a girl she likes.” Mischa looked at Noel, less with an expression of pain but confusion. “What does this mean?”

“Well- opening a relationship is like saying you’re allowed to date other people while also dating each other? It’s different for everybody. If you feel comfortable with that then go for it!” Noel said, he offered the best advice he could to Mischa when prompted. They didn’t call him the most romantic boy for nothing.

“Okay. I shall tell her this.” Mischa was on his phone for a bit before shoving it into the pocket of his baggy jeans.

“Gotcha. Now what do you want to watch Misch?”

Mischa smirked at Noel, like he’d just came up with the most evil idea in some sort of lame comic book. “Why don’t we watch the movie you like, Blue Angel person.”

“Oh that’s a great idea! I’d love to!” Noel put on the movie, plated up their frozen pizza and they ate in silence, there was occasional commentary from Noel while Mischa nodded while shoving his face with pizza.

Eventually the movie was over, and they were just sitting on the couch. They were co-existing, and it was peaceful. Noel wondered how he’d gotten so lucky, to befriend the angriest boy in town.

Noel broke the silence before Mischa could. “So where are you going to sleep?”

“Couch is fine.”

“I’d feel bad… do you want my bed? I can stay on the couch if you want Misch.”

“What if we just stay on bed together?”

“What?”

“…what?”

Suddenly the room felt small, Noel’s chest was pounding and he felt blood rush to his ears in a fierce blush. Mischa was also bright red, Noel didn’t exactly know why.

“It is solution! We share bed, then no one fights about it.” Mischa said, trying to manoeuvre his way out of a difficult situation.

“Yeah- yeah I guess but…”

“But what poet? You know you can tell me anything.”

“Isn’t it weird because I’m-“

“I told you poet, I am not homophobic. Macklemore.” Mischa had in fact told him, in fact it had become a joke of theirs to say Macklemore at anything remotely gay.

“No it’s not that. Mischa- I think- I like you.” Noel closed his eyes and braced, waiting for Mischa to slap him or something. At least now he could be rejected and not pine for weeks.

“I like you too. You are my best friend, poet.”

“No Misch it’s a little more than that, like I have feelings for you.”

“Oh.”

“Oh?”

“I think I do as well.”

Noel looked up at Mischa shocked, adjusting himself on the couch to face Mischa a little more.

“Is that okay, poet?”

“Yeah actually- that’s great.” Noel brushed his hair out of his eyes, a gesture to try and ground himself.

“Can I- can I kiss you poet?” Mischa sounded slightly unsure, like he was trying to diffuse a bomb.

“…mhm.” Noel said after a little bit of debating, he locked eyes with Mischa and slowly closed them as he felt chapped, rough lips chafe against his. It was slow and sweet.

“Do you want to go out? Like on actual date?” Mischa said, after pulling away.

“Yes! Yes I think I’d really like that.” Noel said, giggling to himself like a preteen girl.

____________________________________

The next day at school Ocean could tell something was up, she was eyeing them like a bird of prey, and not the fun Harley Quinn kind.

Choir practice went as normal, and Mischa started walking home as well as spending most nights at Noel’s, after a proper first date to an ice cream parlour of course. They’d share, thoughts, feelings, opinions until it grew too late to keep their eyelids open.

Then they rode the cyclone, relationship still kept very secret. It was new and private, neither of them wanted to spoil that. They’d tell people when they were ready.

Noel’s mom never got to see the happiness he found with Mischa, but somewhere, deep down she knew he was safe.

Safe in the arms of the angriest boy in town.

[storiesofsvu]

CM 17.3

Alright!! 17e3 here we go!!

(I meant to rewatch the first 2 eps before this but didn’t get around to it, so a more in-depth review/more film student analysis is still to come.)

Enjoy this chaos with no context for now! (a lot of it likely isn’t gonna be fully fleshed out cause I have a full thought/reply and try my hardest to type it all out super fast before the show moves on but I have to stop to pay attention OR something else comes up and im just SCRAMBLING)

Absolutely hate there’s no subtitles right away for this but I mean.. I could wait a couple of days til its on Disney I just have no patience.

GOD why is it so fucking dark.

Thank you Emily for not letting luke spill the beans, like, kinda like Rebecca as a person, but can’t trust her as long as her job goes

Okay, em is in the right here, both in the sense of keeping it quiet originally but also making luke keep hush. Cause im sorry but she’s right. It would’ve 1000% drove the team to the brink and split them apart AND made them spiral so deep about what was on the site/other people seeing them/trying to cleanse the web of them (which obvi is impossible). Esp jj of all people? Like I’m not really sure *what* is on there, but jj is the one with KIDS, a full family, she’s still in contact with her parents (at least the mom?) she’s probably likely known in the circle of the boys friends parents? Like that’s SO much damage control to stress over??

Im so fucking excited for prentiss’ wacko neighbour to come back loool

LOOOOLL em’s “oh.. oh no…” reaction. I love this.

Did pen just say “tik tack” instead of tik tok? or was I not listening properly lol

“what are you gonna do?” “put out fires” that is LITERALLY a boss’ job. This being said as a boss.

“I don’t want to say no to your face…” SAME girl… same

GOD Emily is so fucking beautiful

This back and fourth with Garcia and her opinions on tyler is SO annoying. At first she hates him and doesn’t want to even look at him, then they’re flirting, then they’re fucking. Then she’s all twitterpated and wrapped around his finger. Then she AGAIN wants nothing to do with him?? Even though in the last ep she was all high school girlie about working with an “ex”?? I GET that the writers/showrunners are piling the comic relief onto her/the situation but come ON.

“I didn’t call you” “your landlord did” BRUH. COME ON. I don’t care how crazy things are, you ALWAYS double check that! I once saw a dude backing into my driveway with a ladder and immediately went outside to be all “uh..hello?” he immediately pulled out his phone, named my landlord, pointed out what he was there for (damage to the siding of the house, I hadn’t noticed cause I hadn’t left the house and live in the basement) AND offered to call my landlord. ALWAYS BE SUSPICIOUS.

WHY THE FUCK ARE JJ AND LUKE PAIRED UP!!!!????? Jj’s a profiler, she’s obvi gonna be able to get it outta luke, or press him for details, or whatever. If he’s supposed to keep shit quiet why tf are they off together. (or were they specifically asked to be together by voit? Cause that’s just him playing into his bullshit again)

“Emily practising deception isn’t a lie. It’s good leadership” THANK YOU.

Also...to feed all the jemily shippers out there… if this was a fic written by me.. it would be bundled into the AI shit, but there would be pics of Emily and jj hooking up that were very easily proven to be legit and the entire situation would out them and that’s what the actual issue was/is with the site…

I understand jj is outside with Sydney and luke’s job is to keep the girls distracted inside but of COURSE its himbo’s first reaction to pull out the soccer ball INSIDE.

Okay is that just some weird direction/camera angles or are we eluding to the older sister being a cutter?

Emily’s reactions to brian were perfection.

JFC NO! who’s out there stalking them? Uggghh (though I will say that the moment something clinked in the parking garage I said to myself “pls don’t let her get kidnapped in ep 3…”

I KNEW IT WAS CARBON MONOXIDE!! So smrt

Why does it feel like tyler knows more about gold star than the bau does?

Oooo but he cloned the phone! Good boy!!

Penelope: in charge of tracking down tyler

Tyler: texts Penelope “I need to see you”

Penelope: “NO!” doesn’t reply….

Ah yes.. I was right about the cutting… oof. Uugggh talk about heartbreaking..

LOOOOL tara teasing rossi! “I think I pulled… everything…” HHAH

Im not gonna lie, I absolutely HATE that they went down this AI *porn* route, as if these fucking poor characters haven’t been through enough, and like, again as I said, JJ… she’s got the most damage control to do no matter what, and poor girl hasn’t dealt with more than half her trauma so far…

“but I didn’t exactly get it legally, so you know what rebecca’s gonna say” THANK YOU. But also, like fuck that. cause this show has ALWAYS been above the law in that sense. I can’t remember if I said it in last week’s summary or if it was another random post, but CM vs like, SVU is WILD because we NEVER see things past the cuffs being put on/the unsub getting killed/killing themselves. We never go to court, we never see the legal side of it BECAUSE 99% of them would be not guilty due to mental…defect? LOL I know that’s not the right word/phrase but you know what I mean. CM is about the mind of the criminal and chasing them down and finding out the trigger and stressor and figuring out the pattern, not seeing things through to court and prison.

and while I love the addition of her character (Rebecca), it’s making other characters act in ways they never have before/never would simply because now the show is implicating the legal side of things. again, love having Rebecca and that boundary in line for the team but it is messing with the normal dynamics we are used to. Like..as IF Penelope would have any issue using an illegally cloned phone in the past. She was all “don’t ask questions” “well yes I *could* get access to that record, but it is technically sealed” and hotch would be all “I didn’t hear anything…”

LOL Emily with a full bottle of wine at her desk. Love her. god she’s SO annoyed with brian and I love it.

SEE this is why luke never should have said anything. Cause it doesn’t matter how hard you try not to look, you’re never going to be able to resist being able to look it up, no matter how bad it is, how fake and evil and ugly it is, you’re still gonna want to know and jj didn’t need to see that/know about it. How is she supposed to go home and act ok now??

“okay they’re here… somehow” DUDE YOU KNOW BETTER EM! Doesn’t matter that youre in an fbi parking garage, no cop gets there that fast!!

Also..that red coat is TRENCH COAT. YEESSS

Oh FUCK YOU BRIAN

“FUCKING BRIAN!” thankkkkk you em

THAT’S HOW IT ENDS SEERIOUSLY? Ffs.

Also…in all seriousness. Em was in HER office at the BAU, somewhere you (I assume) need clearance to get on property, much less in the building or into the parking, so WHY/HOW the FUCK were both brian, the guys who beat him up and whoever took the pictures get clearance?? SHOULDN’T QUANTICO HAVE SOME PRETTY FUCKING HIGH SECURITY LEVELS???

[lunadreamscaper]

VT/P.I.E. Headcanon list!!

This is all my personal takes and opinions, I guess also are canon in my “au”/spin off.

If there’s any you like from this you can take inspiration or adopt any of these if you like them I will not mind <3

But if you don’t like some of these (which is fine bc you don’t have to), please be kind, especially since some of these are based off/inspired by personal experiences as well as some of my Headmates experiences (that I got permission to use as headcanons 🙏🏻) I just hope people won’t find some of these upsetting? I don’t think they are upsetting but sometimes difference of opinions can be distressing so I understand 🫂

Anyways here goes:

Toast and Ghost have a queer platonic relationship (this one might be a hot take but also we need more rep like this Imo 🙏🏻)

The Level 25 demon from Spooker’s debut video is the one that turned Ghost into the Puppet. (And was probably the one who put those FNAF ghosts in Swift Taylor’s house lol)

Another lvl 25 demon one: I like to think it pulled “a Bipper” (Gravity Falls reference yes) and used Spooker’s body, that’s why you see Spooker as a “ghost” but then later on was normal/living again. Also why we see Spooker in the dimension where Housekeeper is trapped and later towards the end of the Puppet arc in the crypt where Ghost sees him. (Also watch the Haunted by Pennywise video 😭) I don’t think the demon lives in Spooker’s body like how people think demon!Jimmy does though.

Speaking of Jimmy, he’s a very traumatized alter (I’m a system in case anyone is concerned by that 😭🙏🏻 )

Ghost has some supernatural abilities? And is sensitive to dimensional shifts that happen (which happens a lot considering how unstable their world is) as well as understanding lower level paranormal entities, and sometimes visions of specific events (reference to Spooker’s debut video and “Johnny Ghost meets Freddy the dinosaur” video) and a few others that Jimmy also takes advantage of. Also dreams. He gets weird dreams sometimes.

Gavin Toast speaks in an American Accent sometimes, originally to separate himself from his twin.

I’ve already mentioned Ghost being intersex and demisexual I think but still adding it.

Dark Pit’s disappearance after joining P.I.E. In its early days has something to with Darth Calculus…

Ghost had a fear of umbrellas as a kid.

The Lvl 25 Demon and Stardust Sprinkleshine are a divorced couple/hsrs

Toast paid Josh to keep an eye on Ghost during his retirement arc (reference to my comic Heart Attack xD)

Timothy Casket and Chakalata Soup may have been business partners… before ending in disagreement.

Gavin maybe an Acalacam experiment that was only found out later by Darth Calculus (Gavin and Johnny T.’s father never learning that it actually sort of worked.)

Toast’s mother hates Ghost, except nowadays tries to hire people to kill him so he stops spending time with her son but ofc he keeps coming back like a damn revenant lmao

Spooker and Colon are boyfriends (sorry this is a ship but like they literally kissed in the 5 yr anniversary stream and I dreamt about it so I have to acknowledge it)

Spooker did used to have a crush on boyfailure Johnny Ghost though

The reason the VT world is so scuffed and has so many dimensions is bc they all live in the shattered remnants of a broken world.

My fan comic Supernatural Crossover, and Sherlock crossover on wattpad are technically canon to my spin off (except for the Gravity Falls one that one is retconned but fun fact Timothy Casket is in that one and I’m reusing the ideas from it for other things)

Timothy Casket totally wasn’t a serial killer and also totally didn’t get his kid(s) involved traumatizing them and changing the course of their lives forever.

Ghost has a twin brother but that’s mostly for Strive SMP shenanigans

Cardboard Friend is made up of many souls of children that possessed a cardboard toy creation made by Gregory…

There’s a cult out there somewhere with significant importance.

Johnny Ghost also has lead poisoning and some other issues bc of the old mansion’s condition (the one from the first Cardboard Friend video)

Johnny Ghost is also really pale because Cardboard Friend ate off his life force and sanity but got away probably in the Nick of time probably bc of some permanent effects?? (probably why that video made no fucking sense bc it was from Ghost/Gregory’s perspective)

It’s actually really traumatizing to separate twins from each other while they’re young. So if you take into consideration that Johnny Toast and Gavin were probably not allowed to interact and Ghost being separated from his twin too, that makes Ghost and Toast two twinless twins that trauma bonded to each other which is probably why they have a lot of separation issues.

Colon is a witchcraft practitioner (reference to “Moving didn’t go as Johnny planned” video)

I also used to believe Colon is a retired undercover cop or detective but also like ACAB and I barely remember why I came up with that so idk if I’ll keep it but I definitely need more Colon headcanons

Josh is also hired to babysit Woah for Spooker and Colon from time to time :3

Josh also makes really good pumpkin pie (since she was a pumpkin farmer) Ghost also really likes this pie.

Also Spooker is trans and pan while Colon is gay (these ones are special bc it was from a dream)

I’ll also add the universally accepted hc that Toast is bisexual (and demiromantic??)

Josh is also bi and polyamorous (maybe a demi girl but not sure yet)

Ghost is on the Spectrum, (most of pie probably is but the one I’m confident on is Ghost at least)

Sometimes paranormal entities can sort of fuse and/or mesh together to sometimes become stronger (but can separate… sometimes) *cough cough the paranormal tornado cough cough and CBF cough cough*

And lastly Ghost is 5’4, Toast is 6’6, Spooker is 5’7, and Colon is 6’1 (Gavin is the same height as J. Toast and Josh is either 5’3 or 5’5 I haven’t decided yet 😭)

Okay I’m gonna stop there for now but if I remember anything that’s important to me I’ll add them in like a reblog to this post.

Sorry it’s so long! Also had to keep some of these vague to avoid… spoilers ig?

If you’re curious about any of these tho feel free to ask and I can talk more about ‘em!! :3 <3

Maybe I’ll share some more Acachalla related headcanons but not today

[believeinyourotp]

Love

Hansanna: My OTP! Well I was watching a bunch of trailers, back in my freshman year of high school and was wondering why Hans didn’t appear that often in the trailers, like he appeared in one for a couple of seconds then none. Turns out they were setting him up to be a “villain,” and I loved him already which grew strongly after the Love is an open door song, and with every scene of him even when he revealed to be the villain, I think this would be the first Disney Princess: Hero x Villain ship I had. I always love the ships that are not obviously going to be endgame, but have their subtle moments that keep you locked in.

Like

Kristelsa: I’ve made this chart a long time ago, before, if I had to choose someone for them to be with, maybe each other, but now not so much

Sven’tron: because of that one kabedon comic strip.

Ok

Kristelsa: Now I’d prefer them as just friends, and also because I believe you should never ship something only because of the pair the spares trope

Kristanna: They’re great friendship wise, but if I was Anna, I’d be annoyed with Kristoff as a friend and lover. I don’t think you should be insulted in your choices for romance, but KINDLY offering advice ALWAYS helps.

Hansoff: Potential romantic rivals, but I’d like to read some fanfic where they’re hanging out as friends, can be aus (like any for example canon divergent or compliant, or just your general aus like coffee shop or whatever)

Olaf x Hans: A singer I knew (who dated an old crush of mine) compared me to Olaf, now I can have Hans all to myself lol, canon or oc lmao.

Sven’tron: read the description for this ship in my like section

Sven x Olaf: Pals

Olaf x Marshmallow: Siblings

Dislike

None that I don’t already hate

Hate

Elsanna: I feel those who ship it are most likely normalizing incest ships in kids media and I’m not ok with that. If this was an adult show and an anime or cartoon, I’d understand, but there has been a weird community that’s been normalizing incest in Disney ships. Cmon guys make a private community so we don’t normalize it. Ok to be fair I know I have questionable taste in ships but not to this extent.

[felinemotif]

ik i could just ask this on discord but it’s not urgent so i didn’t wanna like. @ you or anything

i just had a couple of steph questions!! first: i swear i remember reading that steph was a vegetarian or had attempted being vegetarian at some point? but i can’t find anything about it & am starting to think i imagined it shsjjdkdjd

& then my second question: is she mentioned to like. enjoy any particular shows/movies or genre of shows/TV??

(these are for fics but like… minor, single sentence details so. def not urgent <333)

also feel free to throw any other interesting steph facts at me!! esp things you feel ppl forget / leave out 💞

ahhh you know i am always happy to talk about my girl <333 it’s after midnight for me so i am sorry that this isn’t the most eloquent answer and i am sure i am forgetting some things (i’ll add to this later/dm you if anything hits me) but to the best of my knowledge:

yes, stephanie is/was(?) a vegetarian. not sure off the top of my head if it was stated anywhere else but i dug up this screenshot from batgirls #13.

(for clarification this was when steph and cass body-swapped)

so no, you didn’t imagine it! though i can’t recall if she is still a vegetarian now, sorry.

now, your other question was much harder lol. i actually went and skimmed through all of the comics i have marked down as my favorite reads for her (+ a few non faves that i thought might have smth relevant) and most of the time when stephanie is shown watching tv or in front of a computer, all that’s ‘on’ is the news.

but! for you, livvy, i didn’t give up.

in nightwing #106, stephanie, cass and dick are all sitting down for their movie night. it’s cass’ pick that week but since steph did stay to watch, i think we can go on a limb and say that she at the very least doesn’t mind horror/sci-fi.

i know that she’s also referenced harry potter throughout her comics— usually just a throwaway line like ‘accio’ so from there we can infer that she does like fantasy/adventure as well.

(took some digging but i found an example in batgirl #18)

she’s referenced star trek as well, and at least in one conversation has been shown to know enough about game of thrones and star wars to joke about it with cass in batman: urban legends #5

i know that’s toeing the line of pulling at straws but given her more delved into interests in the action and fantasy genre i feel like it’s okay to assume that she does like those shows :) and if not who is going to tell me i’m wrong :) stephanie brown would love arya stark

all of this to say that stephanie has been shown to enjoy and understand pop-culture. a good portion of her civilian friends are alt as well, and i’d go so far as to say that given that, it wouldn’t be unreasonable to assume that she would enjoy independent films.

she’s a self-confessed music snob with an interest in art. i could easily see that playing into a joy for film festivals.

(didn’t include because this is already so long but after this panel — i already had it screenshot but i believe it comes from batgirls #1 — was her saying that they were looking for models and steph did consider it so i’d argue that she would enjoy fashion shows as well, though probably ones that are entirely student-run or by small designers)

(she hung that poster up on her bedroom wall next to her bed later on)

i know this isn’t covering everything, but i hope it’s enough to help!!! so excited to read your upcoming fics 🫶🏻 and as always if you have more steph questions or need a panel dug up, i am your gal

[tinyinvadr]

It’s been a couple days, but I’m back with a new chapter! I’ve been kinda stressed out lately, but I wanted to get another chapter out since I love this story so much and I wanna have at least one good thing happen today lol. Also I finally got my hands on Dookie Loop Horror last night, so now I officially own all the Zim comics! I would like my award now.

Borrowed Family

Chapter 5

“Rosie, please be quiet. Do you want the humans to hear you?”

I was running around our house, playing with my plushies, when my parents stopped me.

“What’s the big deal with humans, anyway? Aren’t they sort of like us?”

Dad placed a hand on my shoulder.

“No, Rosie. They’re monsters. Monsters who want us dead. And if they find out we’re here, they’ll see to it that we’re all killed, understand?”

“But… maybe some of them are nice! And the family that lives here has kids! Can’t I go play with them?”

He looked me dead in the eyes with the coldest glare.

“If they see you, they will kill you. The only thing you’d be playing with is our lives. I don’t want to hear another word about this.”

“But-“

“ENOUGH!!!”

I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. I always hated when Dad yelled at me.

“Humans will never be our friends. Put those childish fantasies aside and accept the truth. If you don’t, we’ll all have to suffer for it. Now, keep it down.”

Just as I was giving him a little nod, the walls began to shake. A human hand burst through the wall like it was nothing, and it was grabbing at everything, trying to reach us.

Before I could run, the hand grabbed me. I looked to my parents, crying even harder.

“MOM! DAD! HELP!”

They both just stood there, looking at me with disappointment.

“Now look at what you’ve done.”

That was the last thing I saw before the hand pulled me out of the wall. My family, the only family I’ve ever known, ashamed of me.

The second I was fully out, I heard the human laughing. I almost didn’t recognize the voice, but then he said something that made my blood run cold.

“I have you now, Recap!”

I was turned around, forced to face Dib. He had an evil smirk on his face as he loomed over me, holding me tightly in his fist.

“Dib!? Why!?”

He kept laughing at me. “Did you really think I wanted to be your friend? I lured you right into my trap! Your parents were right, you ARE stupid!”

I woke up in a cold sweat, my heart pounding like it wanted to burst out of my chest. It didn’t help that I didn’t immediately recognize where I was, either.

The bedroom door suddenly opened, and I yelped and jumped back as Dib came into the room.

“Recap? What are you doing up?”

I inched further back as he approached the desk.

“Whoa, are you okay? Did you have a nightmare or something?”

I shut my eyes as he got closer, waiting for him to grab me like he did in my dream. But after a few seconds, I realized he wasn’t making any moves to reach for me, and I opened my eyes.

Dib was looking down at me, but with concern. He could tell something was wrong, and he stayed at somewhat of a distance.

“You’re… still scared of me, aren’t you?”

“I… y-yeah…”

Surprisingly, he didn’t look too upset.

“I understand. You just went through something awful, you only just met me, and I’m basically a giant to you, of course you’re scared. But… even if it doesn’t feel like it, you did the right thing coming back here.”

At that point, I wasn’t sure what to say. In only a couple days, my entire life got so much more complicated than I ever thought it would be. Though, I guess if my dream is anything to go off of, these problems have always existed, I just learned to ignore them.

“If it makes you feel better, I can go sleep downstairs on the couch.”

“N-No! I mean… I’m scared, but… being alone would be a lot worse…”

He simply nodded.

“Okay… then maybe we could stay up and talk for a little while, until you feel more comfortable. It doesn’t have to be about anything heavy, just, anything that you think would calm you down.”

I thought it over for a minute. What could I even talk about? I didn’t want to go into the details of my dream, especially since he wouldn’t exactly love hearing that I saw him as a monster. Then, I thought of something.

“This is probably a dumb question, but… do you ever feel scared?”

He chuckled. “All the time. I think I mentioned him a couple times, but there’s this alien in my class, Zim, and he seriously terrifies me. The amount of times he’s almost killed me… yeah, I definitely need therapy.”

“If you’re afraid, why don’t you try to stay away from him?”

“Heh… it’s complicated. You see, I’m the only one who knows Zim’s an alien. Well, Gaz knows, but she doesn’t care. And because of that, I’m the only one who can stop his evil plans. It’s my duty to defend Earth and protect the people I care about… even if they don’t always appreciate it…”

It was hard to believe how much pressure he was under. He was only a couple years older than me, and he had to deal with all this. The responsibility of keeping his family safe shouldn’t fall on him alone.

In a way, he was a lot like me…

While my parents didn’t expect me to protect them, they still wouldn’t let me just be a kid. Everything that I did had to be considered from the the perspective of “will my family die because of me?”

That’s… not something that kids should have to go through.

“Dib… I’m sorry for freaking out. You’re not a monster. You’re a kid, just like me.”

“You don’t need to apologize. I can’t even begin to imagine what it’s like being so small. You’re a lot braver than I would be in your place.”

To be honest, I really didn’t feel all that brave. I ran away from my problems and went to a kid I only just met in the hopes that he would help me.

Then again, I’m not really sure what I would’ve been proving if I chose to stay in the house with the family that didn’t want me. Maybe this was the better option after all.

Dib let out a yawn. “Do you think you’re ready to try going back to sleep?”

I nodded. “Yeah, but, um… Could you do that thing where you pick me up and rub my head again?”

He chuckled as he scooped me up and pressed me against his chest like he did before, gently hugging me and running his thumb across my head.

“Things are gonna be different now, I promise.”

After a few minutes, I started to feel tired again, and he put me back down on the coat. The real Dib was nothing like what I saw in my dream, and I could rest easy knowing that. I couldn’t say the same about my parents, but at least I knew for sure that no matter what horrible things my mind had to throw at me, I would be safe in the morning when I woke up.

[terriblesportsimagines]

could i get HCs for maybe mima or hongou asking his fem s/o to marry him? :) nsfw if you'd like but totally up to yoy!

So cute, so awkward. Lol  Sorry this isn’t nsfw… I tried to think of something, but nothing came XD  To make up for it, I give you both~

Mima Souichirou

Has no idea what he’s doing, but knows he’s supposed to plan something.

He’s not great with verbal communication, not even with you, so he writes his thoughts down and does a lot of research on proposals.

Doesn’t want to be cliché or do anything you would find upsetting.  He’s not great with romance, but bless his heart, he tries.

He focuses on the little things, the little details of your relationship and comes up with something that’s more fluffy than exciting.  He’s an outdoorsy type, so he takes you to the tree in the foresty park you went to on your first date.

Unlike that date, however, it was early October and so it was a little chilly.  He would have preferred to do it in the summer, but professional baseball kept far too busy for something like this.

The proposal is simple – after you eat the soup and onigiri he’s brought for the picnic, he let you pour the tea while he pulls the small ring box from his pocket, keeping it hidden in his hand and sleeve until the right moment.

He loves listening to you chatter.  He can converse reasonably well, of course, but sometimes he just wants to listen.  After a few minutes of chatter, he sets his tea down, then takes yours to set aside and grabs your hand.

Is almost comically serious, and any other person would probably think he was about to deliver bad news.  It’s the nerves.  When you just smile at him, he takes a deep breath and lets himself relax enough to soften.

He kisses the back of your hand, like a prince in a story (and let’s face it, he looks like a prince), and while you are looking at him, maneuvers the ring so that the box is open and he’s holding it out for you.  “Will you be my wife?”

Of your answer is yes, and he accepts all your enthusiasm, even if you knock him backwards onto his back and cover him.  It doesn’t matter to him, and he more than welcomes your passionate kisses and words of praise.

Hongou Masamune

To be honest, he probably doesn’t even think about marriage until someone brings it up.  He gets hyperfocused, and it’s generally on his career.  He can be a little insensitive at times, and he definitely takes things for granted.

However, when Renji points out that he’d been in a relationship with for a long time and that you were a saint for putting up with him for so long, he actually stops to listen.  Of course, he doesn’t understand what his best friend is getting at, but at least he knows to ask now.

He gets really still when Renji tells him that normal couples would be long married by now, maybe even with children.  Not that other people matter, but had he ever stopped to think what you wanted?

He hasn’t.

After that, the idea consumes him.  He’s angry at himself that he didn’t think of it, and a little annoyed at you for never mentioning it.  You aren’t shy about telling him what you want (how could you be?  He’d never get it), but he knows too that you don’t like to push him too much, especially when it came to your relationship.

The obsession grows, and he starts to watch you.  Starts to pay attention.  You aren’t obvious at all, much to his further annoyance, but he starts to see little things, small moments of irritation or sadness.  You flinch whenever anyone asks you about marriage and kids.

He’s definitely not ready for brats, but once he actually considers it, he finds that he wants to see you wearing his ring now.  He’s possessive and a little jealous by nature, so everything sort of feeds into that attitude and his classic impatience kicks in.

It’s not even a special moment.  It’s just so typical Masamune that you will laugh later when you retell the story.

You are just standing in the kitchen, scrolling through recipes on your phone, trying to decide what to make for dinner when the front door blows open with a loud bang.  You jump, but it’s not exactly abnormal for Masamune.

Appears in the kitchen doorway and dark, pretty eyes zero in on you.  Pins you against the counter before you even know what’s happening.

“Marry me.” He barks.

He doesn’t believe in wasting time or playing games.  He wants to know something, he demands to know.  Even now, his question was more like a command than anything else.

Don’t bother questioning him about why now, or how he’d come up with the idea.  He won’t tell you.  Maybe later.

If you take too long to answer, you get to see the very, very rare sight of his confidence faltering.  His heavy brow furrows, and fear touches his gaze.  “Marry me…please?”

Please go easy on this man, he did his best.

[nukenai]

My full opinion on wild caught reptiles and amphibians is like. Well, captive breeding programs need to start somewhere. If species are legally imported and properly cared for (medicated and quarantined, like my new fella), and not just grabbed from somewhere and thrown onto an expo table the next day, I consider that something responsible. I don’t think a lot of people know that lots of wild caught species are legally exported from their country of origin which is understandable, because poaching is such a problem with so many animal species. Like large birds. Which, for the record, I staunchly don’t believe that large parrots should be kept by regular people. I don’t think their care requirements can be properly addressed/replicated in someone’s home. Also with wild caught reptiles, I think there’s no excuse to have one if there is an active captive bred population. That’s just ridiculous.

I also think that introducing different varieties of reptiles into the trade can help further our understanding of husbandry and behavior for those species. Like, my little guy is a skink, so he has similar care to other skinks. He’s fully grown so he won’t get any bigger - this isn’t an animal like a full grown monitor lizard that needs really insane keeping requirements or anything. People are already working with this species and beginning to breed them in captivity. Like tokay geckos - which are available captive bred but are still very expensive - there needs to be dedicated people who love these species and want to learn more about them. I think that’s cool.

Banded skinks are known for being like... almost comically docile and very easy to handle. Which is just so funny to me. I’d been reading up about blue tongues these past couple weeks, but they get pretty large and can have bad attitudes if not handled a lot! Also most smaller reptiles prefer to try to run from you, rather than attack.

anyways i keep calling him my little pizza tube because he’s just such a goofy little weirdo. and my friend was disappointed I didn’t get a snake, i asked her if she saw my new baby and she replied “yes. it has legs >:(” LOL

once I can get a properly sized (4′x2′x2′) enclosure, I’ll get a snake. but not before!

[starlight-time-machine]

Week in Review

06/09/2024 – 06/15/2024

Sunday

Week 18 of missing Cipher Academy

I re-watched Everything Everywhere All At Once with my friend and her brother who’s seeing it for the first time, and everything about it just hits me as hard as it did the first two times I saw it in theaters years ago. The themes of choosing joy in the nihilistic chaos that is being alive coupled with an Asian family trying to reach through generational and language barriers in order to connect…yeah, it kills me every single time. I was basically non-stop crying for the last forty minutes.

Undead Unluck very good and cute this week. I love the choices for the backing band (and I hope they’ll play a more pivotal role than just comedy) and Nico’s unethical training practices are so funny to watch. And I’m fascinated by this new connection between Kaede and Kururu, I love how Undead Unluck moves its characters around so freely and spark all these unexpected relationships.

Monday

I finally finished She Who Became the Sun…I think this is the first time I’ve truly seen an anti-hero protagonist that I enjoy reading about… Zhu’s killings near the end feel so brutal, but I can see why they were necessary. I really wish Zhu and Ma could’ve had that domestic bliss, but I suppose that was never going to happen. And speaking of things that were never going to happen…yeah…obviously Ouyang and Esen wouldn’t live happily ever after…but it would’ve been nice…and their final scene is so painful…it’s fine I’ll just imagine fix-it fics in my head… Overall I really enjoyed She Who Became the Sun. It’s been a long time since I’ve read an adult fiction book that truly captivated me, and I think it came down to a perfect intersection of a setting/aesthetic I like and a writing voice that I love – I love that it sounds like it was translated from Chinese, it adds to the vibes so much. (I feel like a major gripe I have with modern fiction is how bad the writing voices are…but I digress.) At the same time, though, I do sense some weaknesses from this being the author’s debut. Zhu’s motivations were understandable when they were literally life or death, but as they moved up in the world it became less and less convincing. I bought that they feared retaliation for not being Zhu Chongba so they continued on that path to greatness, but once that problem was out of the way I found it a bit difficult to stay on Zhu’s side as they did all these ruthless things in the name of a goal that I don’t believe that they want. I guess this is why Parker-Chan emphasized the “I HAVE to achieve GREATNESS” internal monologue so much, but it didn’t really solidify Zhu’s motivations in my mind. And for being a war novel, there’s shockingly little fighting or war-time strategic battles…a lot of the time, Zhu relies on using the environment around them rather than deploying their soldiers in specific formations or anything… I guess I was hoping for Hunter x Hunter Chimera Ant arc levels of back and forth but oh well lol I really loved this book…and I’ve already borrowed the sequel so I can read it while I’ve still got all the character and place names in my head. If Parker-Chan can stick the landing, I’ll probably buy a copy of the duology for myself, so for now I’ll give She Who Became the Sun a 9/10.

Read the new SpyFam because I’m enjoying this Henry/Martha arc so much, and while I’m a little miffed that the air sirens were just a false alarm to conveniently prevent Martha from confessing, I’m obsessed with the rest of this chapter… Endo’s writing and comicing is really incredible throughout, but I love love love the sequence of Henry facing his own obstacles and slowly awakening to his feeling for Martha…the letters they exchange are so heartbreaking, and then the panel where his hands and thoughts betray his gentlemanly image is so beautifully impactful. This is honestly the most I’ve been enjoying SpyFam since the cruise ship arc happened in the manga, so I’m really excited for the next chapter.

Tuesday

Ummm

Wednesday

Two more Simpsons episodes as I try to work…it was a bad idea, because I just got irritated with the show lmao. Bart the Daredevil was a pretty straightforward episode in terms of the arc/jokes, and then the episode about Marge campaigning against the violence in a kid’s cartoon just reminded me of the current puritanism streak in media and left a bad taste in my mouth…I mean I guess the episode ended on the side of artistic expression, but I feel like it flattened the discussion too much.

Thursday

Caught up with Hibi, Kimi and it’s as pleasantly cute as it’s always been.

Akuheki…the freaky sex scenes feel a little silly now that they’ve resolved all their backstory hangups and have an otherwise wholesomely romantic relationship, but whatever lol.

Friday

Absolutely nothing

Saturday

I’ve been going through my entire chart of all the anime and manga I’ve experienced in my life as part of work (don’t ask), and I found a few that I wanted to revisit, but the only one I actually read through was Nennen Saisai. And wow I have zero memory of ever reading this (as it happens with most of the BL I read), but revisiting it as an adult was really rewarding now that I know about rakugo, because I didn’t mention it at all in my earlier notes. This was such a tightly written love story between Jugemu and Shinigami…I love the transition of Jugemu going from staying by Shinigami’s side because he wants to die and then wanting to live because of Shinigami’s companionship… And then the final twist that his name truly holds the power of immortality and how he uses it to cheat death, not to mention how he was probably inadvertently replenishing his own lifespan just by going to rakugo performances…that’s so cute and funny. It was enough to bump my score from an 8 to a 9. It’s been a bit of a weird week lol I’ve been so obsessed with work that I can’t focus on anything else…not even the weekly manga I usually keep up with. I can’t promise to do better next week, but we’ll see.

[tiptapricot]

I'm finally off the floor lol

✏️👽🌈 📬 and 🥚

✏️—The first fan fiction you ever wrote? (doesn’t have to be a posted fic)

Honestly this one’s hard to pin down. There’s stuff that counts as fanfic from when I was in like preschool kindergarten era with like Winnie the Pooh and superhero stories, but when it comes to like… actually consciously writing fanfic that I knew was fic, it was probably two instances. One was a Danganronpa semi self insert that I wrote in my notes app n have now deleted (which I wish I didn’t bc it was terrible n I wanna look back on it now), and a similar ish Tiger n Bunny one w a hero insert (tho that one didn’t get as far). Both were very bad but good for me for starting somewhere, you’ve grown baby me!!

👽—Strangest fic you’ve ever written?

Idk if it counts as fic bc it was technically original but I typed something out to a friend over Instagram when red velvets Zimzalabim came out n Area 51 memes were happening, n it was ab a guard on duty witnessing a huge crowd naruto running and singing that as they approached the base. If that’s counted as more original, thennn hmmmm Well my first published work is a collection of (once again) danganronpa poems so probably that. (Also sry DR fans if this is in ur tag I can’t control tumblr)

🌈—Your favorite tropes to write about?

I love angst and hurt/comfort, and characters finding the small details to love ab each other. Tropes I haven’t written often that I want to do more are time travel/loops, mistaken identity, fake dating or being a couple for cover, and monsters (in general).

📬—The best comment you’ve ever received?

This is so hard bc I’ve gotten some rlly sweet ones over the years, but any that like… have the person talking ab how a fic hit for them rlly hard personally and that they reread it, or just rlly going in depth on details they noticed and loved. I got a really cool person who went chapter by chapter on my commander fic and left lovely comments on each one, n I got a REALLLYYYY nice one on my recent wwbn fic I still have to respond to that pointed out a ton of things I rlly wanted ppl to notice n just aghHh!! I love comments sm, they mean a lot to me n I couldn’t choose a fav bc ppl r so often so sweet. Those instances come to mind tho :-)

🥚—Any Easter eggs you put on a fic that you hoped people would notice?

Yeah! N usually in more snapshotty ones. In somewhere over the sun there’s a moment mentioned where Crawley pats Steven’s shoulder n leaves a smear of paint, which was meant to represent the passing of love and comradery onto him with the color themes I’d been keeping up throughout the story, and also to show the way Jake was separate from that, not carrying the physical mark himself.

In 10k Lightyears the entire plot of the 5th chapter was meant to b a ref to the multiverse colliding/collapsing in other MCU movies like no way home and multiverse of madness, though it wasn’t on a solid timeline as that verse was blended with comic lore as well, it was a cool way to incorporate a big in world event from a point of view of a character who doesn’t understand what’s happening but is still experiencing it.

And in my recent fic Third Time, in the scene where Jack takes a cab ride with Jake, I was trying to leave not just Jake as an Easter egg (even tho he’s tagged), but Khonshu as well, implying that being close to a moon god was the reason Jack turned prematurely, the energy messing with his brain and physiology.

Easter eggs or lil details like that r always so fun to include even if ppl don’t notice n I love talking ab my thoughts behind them aFGhhhHg!!!

Send me an emoji for a fic/writing ask!

[thegirlwhobrokeintothetardis]

I Wanted to Fix the World for You (Kelly Severide x Reader)

Word Count:  3,558

Pairing: Kelly Severide x Reader

Summary: Growing up in Chicago, you were best friends with a boy named Kelly and if you had a say, you never would have left his side. But it wasn’t, and you had to move to Europe for your father’s deployment and lost contact with Kelly. Now as an adult and newly moved back to Chicago, guess who saves you from a rouge fire in your apartment building? And how will he respond when he realizes that the one who got away is back within reach?

Warnings: Fire, panic, small angst and biG FLUFF!!!

A/N: So I’ve been wanting to write another Kelly Severide imagine after seeing how well Salvation did, but I’ve been busy with this new job at an elementary school and the upcoming wedding for my best friend which I am apart of lol. Anyway, I got the idea after being inspired by the Netflix show Sweet Magnolias and that scene between Helen and Ryan when he is going through all these moments that showed how he fell in love with Helen. It was so sweet, especially after he said, “I just wanted to fix the world for you”, so here we are lol.

A long time ago...

“Kelly!!”

The boy down the near the double swing set at Pulaski Park turned after hearing his name, his ruffled hair catching in the eyeline of his baby blues as he tried to find the source of the shout. Then quickly, a wide smile came on his face as he saw a flurry of hair and bruised up knees running towards him; her smile was missing her front baby teeth and her wrists were covered with the jelly bracelets her older sister gave her for her 8th birthday. 

His best friend, Y/F/N Y/L/N.

When you reached Kelly, you were quick to pull up your elbow and show off your rocket ship band-aid covering it, explaining quickly how you fell riding your bike the day before but you didn’t cry...this time. After that you pulled the little Severide boy to the jungle gym where the two of you proceeded to start a game of “Monkey-Ninjas” which the two of you had made up at recess a few weeks before. Kelly was never happier than when he was with you; a girl who would play in the dirt with him, and talk about comic books, and didn’t laugh about how he wanted to be a firefighter like his dad. And he was the same to you, being the most important person to you aside from your family. Kelly was there when Michelle O’Keefe called you an ugly hog-goblin (he ended up cutting off one of her pigtails after that), and when you wanted to solve mysteries in your apartment complex’s creepy basement (he only ran away once, but you didn’t judge because you were running right by his side). 

After another hour at the park, you could hear your dad call your name, and you looked over to see your dad waving you over, yelling that it was time to go. You turned back to Kelly and gave a little pout that you two had to be separated. Kelly, hating that sad look on your face and how it twisted is stomach in a way he wouldn’t understand until he was older, gave you a hug with his arms around your neck and squeezed. You returned the hug with the same tightness, maybe even a little more knowing that you were moving in a couple of weeks and you have yet to tell your best friend. But too soon, the hug was over and you were off walking back to your dad as a cloud flew in front of the sun. Just you walking away from Kelly made his world darker.

                                                           ---

The present...

An incessant beeping woke you from your sleep, the blaring noise making your eyes squeeze like they demanded to stay shut. You groaned, how can your alarm be going off already?! It hasn’t even felt like you slept! You turned on your side and slammed your hand into your alarm clock, trying to get the horrid noise to stop. But surprisingly, the beeping kept going. 

Confused, you peaked one eye open at caught sight of your alarm clock, and the time 3:41 am glaring back at you in a bright red light. A cough escaped you as both of your eyes opened, groaning as you sat up and stretched before grabbing your alarm clock. You examined the clock, clearly the noise wasn’t coming from it, as a couple more coughs escaped your throat. That’s when your sleep-addled brain finally decided to wake up and notice that something was wrong with your room. You turned around and noticed that a thin layer of smoke had coated the room, seeping from your bedroom door which led to the rest of your new home. You quickly put your alarm clock down and stood up, walking towards your door. Before you grabbed the doorknob, a flicker of a memory came to the front of your mind.

“Remember Y/N, if you think there is a fire somewhere in your house, don’t just grab your doorknob. The fire might be on the other side. Gently touch it to see if the knob is hot. If not, then its safe to open the door. Okay, Sweetheart?”

The rough voice of your childhood friend’s dad wisped away like the smoke floating around you, and you laid your hand gently around the knob, and when your hand was met with just a cool touch, you opened the door. The rest of your apartment was covered in smoke, but from what you could see the fire was not coming from your home. While coughing a few more times, you quickly made your way to your front door and did the same thing you did with your bedroom door, checking the temperature of the knob. It was warmer than your other door, but not hot so you went to open the door when more smoke pushed its way into your living room. Down the hall of your apartment building you could see the flickering of flames around the apartment right next to the emergency exit. And knowing that the elevator would be out of service because of the fire, you realized you were trapped.

You shut the door and backed away from it, your brain ping-pong-ing ideas through your head of ways to try and get out of this. Another memory flitted through your brain as your breath started to pick up.

“My dad says that if there is like a lot of smoke from a fire, that you got to crawl on the ground like a snake. Just get real low, you know?”

Your body immediately reacted to the memory of him, getting low and crawling like a soldier to your nearest window to push it open. Down 5 floors you could see the flashing lights of the firetrucks and ambulance, small figures in black and yellow coats rushing around trying to help. With a deep breath of Chicago air, you let out a large yell, “HELP!!!! UP HERE!!!”

With your shout, the first responders paused and then started moving faster, and a few started making their way to the ladder on top of one of the firetrucks. Once the ladder started rising to your window, a rush of cold air plus the smoke from the fire made you fall into a coughing fit, lowering yourself back into the apartment as the breaths heaved through your lungs and came out rougher and rougher with each cough. 

“Hey! Fire department, you still there?” 

You stood up slowly and came face to face with a firefighter, his face mostly masked by his full-face mask firefighters normally wore. You nodded before saying, “Yeah, sorry.”

“Is the fire coming from your apartment?” The firefighter asked.

“No, but I saw it when I realized what was going on and checked the hall. It looks like its coming from the apartment all the way at the end of the hall next to the stairs.” You explained.

The firefighter looked like he nodded and went to his talkie on his shoulder, “Casey, fire looks like its from the apartment closest to the emergency exit tail end of the west corner of the building.”

“Copy. Heading there now with Hermann and the hose.” A voice crackled through. After that, the firefighter in front of you motioned you to make your way on top of the ladder, and with every ounce of remaining courage, you followed the firefighter down the steps of the ladder until you had made it to the truck. 

Once your feet were back on solid ground, you took a deep breath of air and coughed, the taste of smoke lingering on your tongue. One of the paramedics, a woman with darker skin and her short brown hair in a ponytail came over and started ushering you to the ambulance where a mask connected to a tank of air was waiting for you. Once you were sat down on the edge of the ambulance and had the oxygen mask firmly on your face, you looked up at the firefighter that helped you out of the window.

“You okay?” he asked, also looking over you. You nodded, taking a couple deep breaths before pulling the mask away from your face a little.

“I’m okay, the cold air mixed with the smoke just messed with my lungs a little bit but I should be okay. Thank you...”

Before you could ask for his name, a voice came back up on his talkie, “Severide, we found a few more people in their apartments, could use a hand here.” The firefighter in front of you grabbed for his walkie and replied before sending you a wave and heading back towards the building. You, on the other hand, sat in shock.

“Severide...” You said, still staring at the space where the firefighter was standing before.

“Yep, that’s our Lieutenant for Squad 3.” The paramedic attending to you said, trying to get you to put your oxygen mask back on, but that just made you turn to her.

“Kelly Severide?”

The paramedic looked at you, tilted her head and nodded, looking at you like she should be worried that you knew Kelly’s first name. “Yeah...How did you know that?”

“Um...Me and Kelly grew up together. We-we were really close until my family had to move for my dad’s new posting in the military.” You explained, still in shock. “I can’t believe he actually did it.”

“Did what?”

“Became a firefighter.” You said. A smile creeped on your face at the thought of Kelly’s childhood dream career actually becoming a reality. The paramedic saw the smile on her face and smiled as well, remembering faintly Shay talking about Kelly’s childhood friend who moved away right before he met Arden, and how Shay could tell that that friend was Kelly’s first love just by how he would talk about their adventures and stories together.

After the fire was put out and a check was made, thank god that no one had gotten hurt too severely, you were about to make your way back into your building when you caught a glimpse of a fireman’s helmet with the name SEVERIDE on the back of it. As the firefighter pulled off his mask, your breath was stolen away with how much Kelly had grown. You could see features of both his parents on certain parts of his face, but really you were just struck with how handsome Kelly had gotten. Before you could stop yourself, you heard your own voice shout, “Hey, Lieutenant Severide?”

Kelly turned and saw you standing there; your hands stuffed into the sweatshirt he assumed you had been sleeping in and your feet bare because of your quick escape. Your smile was something that made him pause, it was warm and wide and familiar, but it didn’t hit him until he saw you pull out one of your hands from your sweatshirt pocket and take your pointer and middle finger and have them tap your thumb a couple of time. It was a tick that you had had since you could remember, almost like you were making your hand look like a bird.

“Y/N?” Kelly said, moving closer to where you were standing. Your smile widened more and you gave a proper wave, Kelly’s heart beating faster and faster as his brain started to catch up. You were here... You were back in the States, back in Chicago...You were back!! 

Kelly didn’t even think before he scooped you up in his arms and started spinning you around in a tight hug. You hugged back just as tight, the smell of smoke and ash and something that was plainly Kelly Severide kicked into your nose and made you more giddy than before. After a few good spins, Kelly finally put you down and got a good look at you. You had grown into your childhood beauty, that’s for sure. Sure, your hair wasn’t as crazy and you weren’t covered in Band-Aids and jelly bracelets anymore, but your smile was the same, and your laughter still made it feel like his whole body was vibrating.

“I-I can’t believe you here, in Chicago?! How long have you been living here?”

“I just moved back about a month ago. After all the travel from my dad’s job, I just wanted to settle somewhere that...that really felt like home. And Chicago was the first that came to mind.” You explained. A whisper of a thought said, you made it feel like home... But you never said those words allowed. 

Kelly was still feeling a high about seeing you again after all these years when there was a call of his name a little farther away from where you two were standing. He turned and saw Casey waving him over, and that’s when he noticed that everything was cleaned up and it was time for House 51 to head back to the station. Kelly turned back to you and smiled sadly, not wanting to leave you so soon after he had found you again, “Hey, we got to head back to the firehouse, but you should definitely stop by tomorrow.”

“Really?”

“Yeah! Are you kidding? We have so much to talk about.” Kelly said as he pushed to have you see him again. You nodded and Kelly gave you the address of the house before he was rushing off back to the truck, and just like that, he was gone.

                                                            ---

The next day, you found yourself walking up to Firehouse 51 with a covered plate of brownies in your hands. You could barely get to sleep the night before from the adrenaline still rushing through your body from the fire and from seeing Kelly again, so even though there had just been a fire in your building, you spent a few hours baking-out your anxiety to make brownies for the firehouse. 

Once you walked in, you saw the gleam of the shiny red trucks and the spotless white ambulance just sitting in the house, looking like they were waiting for their next time to help. Over by the side of one of the trucks, you saw a table with a couple of firefighters sitting at it, playing some card game as they relaxed. You walking closer caught their attention and they stood up, one of them walking over to you and stuffing his hands in his pockets.

“Hi, can we help you?” He asked. 

“Yes, hi. I’m one of the residents from the building fire last night. And I wanted to bring something by as a thanks for everything you guys did.” Holding out the plate of brownies, you smiled as you explained part of the reason as to why you were here. “I’m also looking for Kelly Severide, he told me to stop by today.”

“He did?” The firefighter asked, taking hold of the plate of sweets. “Well, he’s in the common area, so I’ll just tell him that...” He paused, waiting for you to give your name.

“Y/N.”

“That Y/N is here. And thank you for the brownies, by the way. I’m Joe Cruz.” The firefighter said, taking one of his hands and holding it out for you to shake which you did. Joe than left while you made small talk with the other firefighters, and from what you could tell, trying to interrogate you on why Kelly asked you to come by the firehouse. 

A couple of minutes later, Joe came back with Kelly in tow, Kelly catching your eye and a smile inching its way on his face. When he made it over to you, he greeted you with another hug like the night before. “Thanks for stopping by.”

“No problem. Had to see where your working anyway. I mean, with all that talk when you were a kid about being a firefighter, seeing you like this just warms my heart.”

Kelly laughed and then grasps your hand, tugging you further into the firehouse. Just the touch of his hand made your heart jump in a way it hasn’t done since you two were kids. While he introduced you to everyone in Firehouse 51, you two also caught up on everything, how your parents were doing now, how Kelly found out that he was an older brother, and how Benny was still after all these years. When the two of you finally reached Kelly’s office space, Kelly shut the door and took a seat on his bed while you sat down at his desk, swiveling in his chair and getting a good look at everything around you. 

One thing that caught your attention immediately was a old picture sitting on Kelly’s desk; it was of the two of you at the Lincoln Park Zoo when you were about 7 years old. Your smile was missing a couple of teeth as Kelly had his arm wrapped around your neck and yours around his waist. The two of you were in front of the giraffe exhibit and just as the picture was being taken, one of the bigger giraffes swooped his head in to photo bomb the picture. “Oh my god, where did you find this old thing?” You laughed as you picked up the picture.

“My ma found it a while ago cleaning some stuff in the house. Decided to keep it.” He explained. You smiled as you saw your goofy little face, but then your eyes trailed to little Kelly, whose eyes were glued to your younger self. And the smile on his face wasn’t one of goofiness or excitement like yours was; his was warm and you wanted to say almost like he was admiring younger you. When you looked up to point it out to Kelly, you paused as the look you saw in the picture was the exact same one on his face now as he looked at you. “I still can’t believe your here.”

“Y-Yeah, me neither.” You stuttered, looking back down at the photo as you put it back on his desk. 

“You remember the day you left?” He asked.

You scoffed and shook your head, images flooding your brain as one of the most painful moments of your life played out in your memories. “How could I forget? I was crying the whole time. My nose was a literal faucet.”

“I wasn’t any better.” Kelly said, also shaking his head, “I remember our parents having to separate us because we wouldn’t let go of each other.”

“You know I bawled a full 4 hours of that plane ride to Berlin? I was a mess.” You chuckled and there was a deep pause around you, like the silence had thrown a weight on both of your shoulders. “Kelly-”

“I remember when we were 6, and you found out that your grandma passed away.” Kelly interrupted, making you look back up at him, “When you came back from Jersey after the funeral, you locked yourself up in your room for days. You wouldn’t even see me, and that made me a wreck. I just remember that knowing you were in so much pain and I just wanted to fix the world for you.”

“Kelly...”

“So I got prerecorded some VHSs of Full House and Saved by the Bell and bought some boxes of microwave popcorn and marched over to your apartment. You finally opened the door to me and we spent the next 7 hours just binging on popcorn and corny jokes. Being able to see you smile again, even if it wasn’t a full-hearted smile with what you were going through, was the highlight of my week.”

“I remember.” You said, watching as Kelly grabbed your hand and pulled you to sit next to him on the bed.

“When we were that young, I didn’t really understand what I felt for you. But now, I know that I had really deep feelings for you. And I know that they never really went away, Y/N.” Kelly said as he grasped both of your hands in his. You looked down as his thumb grazed the top of your hands, then looked back up to his eyes that were so full of affection, it made your heart stumble in your chest. “And I don’t want to loose my chance now that you are back.”

“Kelly, we barely know each other anymore. Its been so long-”

“I know, I know. But that’s the beautiful thing about dating, you get to know one another. And Y/N, I think that we could make it work. And I know that it is probably a longshot that you even feel the same-”

This time it was your turn to interrupt Kelly with a small tug on his hands, “I did! I-I do anyway.” You stumbled, your face flushing. “Kelly, I would love to go out with you.”

“Really?”

“As long as our first date is to the Lincoln Park so we can remake that picture.” You said with a giggle. Kelly had a rush of excitement course through him as a wide smile grew on his face. He then leaned forward and had his forehead meet yours, his heart beating so fast he was afraid it would pop out of his chest and tell you how deeply he felt for you.

“Anything for you.”

ONE CHICAGO TAGS: @carnationworld​

NORMAL TAGS:  @l4life​ @ithoughtiwasflying

[bigskydreaming]

Brain topic du jour is reflecting on the frankly weird as fuck pattern in Dick’s life where....he barely ever experiences losses one at a time. Most of the loss he’s experienced in his life is compounded by him losing multiple people and other elements of stability all at the exact same time.

1) When his parents died, in some continuities this is coupled with him losing his extended family of his aunt and cousin as well, with his uncle left comatose and on life support for years before he eventually died as well. Even in continuities without Richard, Karla and John, the loss of Dick’s parents is compounded by the additional loss of his circus family in the sense that he was taken away from them by the state and their constant reassuring presences in his life were no longer comforts he was able to rely on.

2) When Jason died, Dick didn’t just lose his brother, as the tragedy was compounded by Bruce’s reaction. I’ll never be able to gloss over the effects of NTT #55, personally, because I think its too key to Dick’s entire characterization and the specific direction his character took in the years that followed this, to like....disregard that Bruce however unintentionally, while lost in his own grief, added to Dick’s own sense of loss for Jason in probably the worst way possible. As by kicking Dick out and telling him to leave his keys, Dick - having no way to know or guess that they’d ever reconcile, just like he never actually went back to the circus being a regular presence for him - to Dick, this was in essence the equivalent of his childhood tragedy all over again. Losing not just one family member, but his whole family in one sweep, and all the comforts and stability offered by a home he was forced to leave. Even Dick’s contact with Alfred was minimal for awhile, because why would the guy who basically JUST saw history repeat itself and was like, well I know how THIS tends to play out.....why would he think that if Alfred felt forced to actually choose between his loyalties to Bruce and Dick respectively, that Alfred would pick Dick over the man he’d known and raised from childhood himself?

3) Titans Hunt. I know I harp on this one a lot, but you can’t deny that it fits the pattern. Dick didn’t just lose one friend and teammate.....he lost Joey, he lost a good four or five lesser known Titans who nevertheless were people he viewed as directly HIS responsibility to keep safe. With these tragedies compounded by the fact that though comics played out a lot more slowburn and extended stories over years back then, like.....the aftermath of Titans Hunt was still everpresent and directly died into Dick’s reactions and emotions during the Mirage storyline and everything that happened with the failed wedding and his breakup with Kory AND the fact that he was literally forced off the team he’d basically founded, by the government agency that took over the team and appointed Roy as its leader in his stead.

3) Graduation Day. The second time the Titans disbanded it was again not due to a singular loss, because Dick didn’t just lose Donna at this point, but also Lilith died in the exact same story and though Lilith is criminally underused, like, she’s also one of Dick’s oldest friends. She was literally the first Titan to join after the original five. This then led into the Outsiders era, where Dick was shown to still be reeling from the losses of this story for an extended period of time, and in a fun parallel to the Titans Hunt aftermath, Dick was also ousted from his leadership of THIS team by essentially a vote of no confidence by his teammates (and uh, Bruce too, literally).

4) The Blockbuster arc. Where Dick’s emotional state was due to a continued string of multiple losses. He lost his apartment building and almost every one of the neighbors he’d built a community out of, as we’d been shown him actively involving himself in their lives and vice versa for YEARS before this point. Then he lost his circus, his childhood home, burned to the ground and with dozens of deaths - both spectators and actual performers Dick had known and loved as a child. Then he lost his relationship with Barbara, his sense of self-security and autonomy to Tarantula, he lost another teen vigilante who died in his colors, the mantle HE’D created, when Stephanie was believed dead in War Games, and it all culminated in losing the city he’d invested himself in as his CHOSEN home, the place he dedicated himself to protecting, when Chemo blew it up.

Oh just for the record - my nonexistent passport to the magical kingdom of Narnia for a fic that raises the point when bringing up Tim’s losses in the Red Robin era, that like.....ALL of the above happened at literally the EXACT SAME TIME as all Tim’s referenced losses occurred. Obviously Steph meant more to Tim than Dick on a personal level, but I also included her largely as an anchor point to the timeline, to show how that death, and not long after that Jack Drake’s and then Superboy’s.... occurred right smack in the middle of one of the absolute WORST periods of Dick’s life. To be clear, I don’t intend this to suggest that no actually, Dick had it harder than Tim - nah. 

No thank you. Hard pass. I hate that sort of thing even in support of my own faves over other characters. No, instead the thing I’d love to see explored more is just in light of the SPECIFIC angle fics take here - that Dick’s actions while Bruce was lost in time showed an obliviousness to everything Tim had lost lately - for literally ANYONE to bring up or introduce into the timeline here an awareness of everything Dick had lost AT THE EXACT SAME TIME PERIOD. To establish that actually, Dick didn’t just ‘not understand what it was like’ - rather, its more accurate to say that nobody in universe around this time ever shows an awareness of Dick’s own losses and says oh wait, that doesn’t track then. 

Because obviously, with this stuff put in proper perspective, Dick understands VERY VERY WELL the exact thing we’re accusing him of not understanding by being oblivious to Tim’s losses that he’s not actually oblivious to because he tries to talk to Tim about them all the time, while meanwhile its everyone else who has absolutely mum to say about the fact that Dick’s emotional state is compromised to hell and back at this point, not JUST because of losing Bruce, but also because *gestures wildly* literally ALL OF THE ABOVE in the exact same time frame Tim’s extended losses happened in.

And okay I am going to indulge in slight tiny itty bitty pettiness and point out my ire that so many fics set during this time tend to recite listicles of Tim’s losses, with Steph, Kon and Jack Drake at the very top of said list....while paying no attention whatsoever to the fact that STEPH WAS LITERALLY BACK BY THE TIME THE RED ROBIN SERIES HAPPENED. She’s LITERALLY a person Dick sends to check up on Tim after Tim turns Dick away when he tries himself. How are you gonna stress the impact Steph’s loss has on Tim when you’re not even acknowledging STEPH’S RIGHT HERE IN THE EXACT SPECIFIC CANON STORY YOU’RE CITING??? I just. afhioskhflafhlafhklfahlfa. 

And not to put too fine a point on it, but you know who ELSE was also back at the same time? CONNOR. Superboy LITERALLY was already back to life by the time the Red Robin series even began. Like, the issue where a resurrected Kon and Cassie (Wonder Girl) have a heart to heart about the fact that Tim and Cassie ‘connected’ during his absence and Connor stresses that this doesn’t bother him or make him feel negatively towards either of them at all, because hello, he was literally dead at the time, why would he mind that two of the people he loves most in the world sought comfort in each other? Yeah, that issue? Literally came out BEFORE Tim even became Red Robin.

I MEAN. I’m just saying, when people constantly take shots at Dick’s choices during this period because of how much Tim had lost before Bruce already, in order to shift focus away from the fact that Dick lost Bruce every bit as much as Tim did......and you repeatedly emphasize the SAME three names as the focal point of Tim’s losses while paying no acknowledgment whatsoever to everything Dick lost at the exact same time Tim lost these three.....it quickly becomes kiiiiiiinda relevant in my opinion THAT TWO OF THE THREE NAMES CONSTANTLY MENTIONED AS BEING TIM’S LOSSES ARE NO LONGER EVEN LOST BY THE TIME THE SUBJECT COMES UP. Again, I’m just saying! Pettily, mind you! I am aware of the pettiness, I just beg awareness of like *again gesticulates wildly at all of the above* ALL THAT!

LOL.

But I digress.

5) When Bruce was believed dead while he was lost in the timestream. Again, Dick didn’t just lose the father who had been the only parent in his life for almost TWICE as long as his first parents......this was coupled with the loss of numerous other sources of stability in Dick’s life. There’s the matter of his personal sense of identity and self-expression....Dick FOUGHT against becoming Batman, trying to handle Gotham in Bruce’s absence as Nightwing for as long as he could, because he knew being Batman was very much NOT going to be good for him. He put so much of himself into building his identity as Nightwing, establishing himself in that role, that self-image, that yes, I maintain it was an actual LOSS for Dick, to feel like he had no choice but to give that up and everything it meant to him and his own life, in order to essentially live Bruce’s life for him in his absence. 

Because it wasn’t just being Batman that Dick was struggling with at this time....he also had to act as the patriarch to the Wayne family, essentially raise Bruce’s ten year old son, step into Bruce’s old role in Wayne Enterprises, all while getting no acknowledgment for any of this, for literally LIVING his father’s life instead of the life Dick had worked so hard to build for HIMSELF....because of course Dick’s actions and struggles couldn’t even be advertised beyond the family and close friends, because the whole point of him doing all this was so that nobody else even realized that Bruce wasn’t really there anymore. Dick didn’t just assume Bruce’s responsibilities. Dick assumed Bruce’s life, so thoroughly that most people didn’t even put together that Bruce was ‘dead,’ between Dick handling Bruce’s actual roles and responsibilities while Hush made public appearances as him. 

Like, when you’re living someone else’s life so completely that nobody can tell they’re even gone....how on earth does that leave any time or space for you to have ANY kind of life of your OWN, y’know? Not to mention the fact that like in so many times previously....all this meant that Dick couldn’t even afford to let his grief for his own losses show, because he wasn’t supposed to be grieving any losses in the first place, that was the whole point of the con!

Additionally, couple this with the fact that throughout this time period, Dick didn’t have Tim to lean on at all, because it was never that Dick kicked Tim out or neglected him or didn’t care....he’d actively stressed how much he needed Tim, because the partner Tim was convinced Dick chose ‘over’ him - Dick was the first one to admit back then that he DIDN’T trust Damian yet, couldn’t afford to, because he was all too aware that Damian didn’t give a fuck about him yet and couldn’t be guaranteed to step in to have Dick’s back - because that required mutual trust that Dick literally just hadn’t had time to build yet. And add to THAT the fact that during this time, Jason was actively antagonizing the family and Dick in particular at every turn, trying to bring them all down and basically write over what all of them saw as Bruce’s legacy with Jason’s own version of what he thought that should look like.

Also also, take into account that unlike how often we see fanon depict Dick as just too stubborn or proud to ask for help, there’s the fact that he actually had very few avenues TO ask for help! As already established, he DID ask Tim for help. Not like Jason was an option at this time, and Dick’s friends weren’t actually just sitting waiting in the wings and groaning about the fact that Dick was trying to do all of this solo....nah, they kinda had their own problems, which Dick was all too aware of?

Like the fact that in the wake of Final Crisis, it wasn’t just Bruce that was believed lost. Many other key Leaguers like Martian Manhunter were dead or lost, with others struggling to fill the gaps left in their absence. Cry For Justice happened right after Final Crisis too....that story where Lian was murdered? So it wasn’t like Dick was remotely going to try leaning on Roy when Roy had just lost his freaking DAUGHTER and very much wasn’t handling it well (and not to overshadow Roy’s loss at ALL, but please let’s not act like Dick - who had literally been the person to put a baby Lian in Roy’s arms for the first time and had known that girl for pretty much her entire life - like, it shouldn’t be used to detract from Roy’s loss at all, but it shouldn’t have to, to just acknowledge that Lian’s loss right at this exact time was painful as fuck to Dick, who’d loved his niece like crazy.)

The pattern of compounding, concurrent losses in Dick’s life. I’m just saying. Its there.

And it extends into the New 52 as well, where Forever Evil came right on the heels of Dick losing his circus in THIS continuity to the Joker, just as a way to hurt him in Death of A Family. And with the aftermath of Forever Evil and Dick’s own literal death, being like....the complete loss of Dick’s entire life, even though he was revived quickly. That didn’t mean he got to live HIS life though, since Dick Grayson was believed dead and he was told had to remain so, so its like fuck whatever he actually wanted to do as he went about on the Spyral mission aka something that pinched his own sense of morality and personal agenda at every turn and was kinda the last thing a therapist would recommend for a trauma recovery period, lol. And like, for all the focus that was paid to how Dick’s family were hurt because they believed they’d lost him when he was actually alive, let’s not forget that for all intents and purposes, Dick DID lose his family in the wake of his resurrection because he was flat out told over and over that due to what ‘he’d LET happen to him’ he was an ACTIVE danger to them, and thus wasn’t allowed by Bruce to contact any of them or lean on them to any degree, until Bruce got amnesia and stopped blocking Dick’s pleas to return home by just not being there to pick up the secret phone line at all. 

(And omg, the obliviousness that just EMANATES off the hot takes that Dick had a ‘choice’ in all this and he still CHOSE to do what Bruce told him....like. LOLOL, stop being pissy about me bringing up the term abuse apologism when its literal victim blaming to paint the guy who had to be beaten into ‘agreeing’ to the Spyral mission in the immediate wake of the trauma of DYING, all while his father vocally blamed him for his own suffering and the ‘threat’ he now posed to his family, keying directly into the guilt complex Bruce knows damn well is at the core of most of Dick’s motivations.....fucking please. There’s no choice in all that. That’s active emotional, mental and physical abuse aimed at directly manipulating Dick’s actions, delivered by the guy who knows Dick best in the world and whose approval - particularly when Dick is at absolute rock bottom aka Current Location - matters more to Dick than just about anything because his sense of self-worth has more in common with dog shit than actual dog shit does. Or something. Idk. That analogy got away from me. But like. You get it.)

BUT. I. DIE. GRESS. (I guess).

Aaaaaaanyway, so yeah! That repeating pattern throughout Dick’s life of ‘loss? What loss (singular)? My losses only come in groups, lolol, fuuuuuun’ - mmmm. Yeah. So that’s what’s on MY brain right now. Thoughts?

[hmmdelicioussoup]

So I just finished The Lost Book of the White and I really want to talk about Simon.

I’d tried reading this book sometime last year but didn’t really get into. Then after listening to the TMI audiobooks and TFSA I was motivated to try again since I knew it took place after Simon lost George. Second time round I absolutely loved it, Malec, baby Max, Magnus x Ragnor x Catarina friendship, all so good. But Sizzy! My god so so good. Getting to see them finally be together as a couple honestly made me so happy. But despite the happy moments, it’s also occurring during a time when Simon is grieving, and that grief is very fresh. TLBOTW takes place only 4 months after Angels Twice Descending.

So, throughout the whole book I was waiting for Simon to crack. From his first scene in the book it’s mentioned how different he seems.

Magnus says upon the TMI gang arriving at his apartment about Simon:

“…it was obvious [Simon] wasn’t doing well” pg 36

From the start I was strapping myself in for some pain. Even just a couple of pages later Magnus notes that Simon is acting ‘very unlike himself’ pg 39.

Simon has gone through a lot, they all have, but I think it’s different for Simon. Just on the basis that he kind of got dragged into the shadow world. He wasn’t raised in it like Jace, Alec, and Isabelle. It wasn’t his birthright to be a part of it like Clary. He’s had to fight stay beside Clary, to earn the respect of the Shadowhunters who even though they would eventually become his friends, didn’t think much, if anything of him, when they first met him. He had to really fight to show he was worthy of their respect. And he did. He fought beside them, lost beside them, sacrificed himself for them and all the while maintain his morals. I’m not saying he never changed, on the contrary, he developed significantly throughout the series and throughout it all always managed to be the optimistic one. Magnus says of him,

“Through all of it, Magnus had grown impressed with his morale, his willingness to persevere and keep a brave face even when the situation seemed worse than impossible” pg 40

Even knowing all Simon has been through, even Magnus who kind of seemed the least invested in Simon during TMI, expects him to have the same attitude he has always had. They’ve legit been to hell twice now and all seem pretty chill about it. They’re all making jokes, Magnus and Alec get it on basically every time they’re alone lol. I think they feel almost invulnerable. There’s very much this energy of well we’ve survived one hell dimension before, surely we can survive another. But they seem to be forgetting that they very nearly almost didn’t survive Edom. They only got out because of Simon. And I think Simon is painfully aware of this. He’s not one to brag about saving them but he understands maybe better than anyone the risk of having to make sacrifices.

Simon’s truly at his tipping point throughout TLBOTW. Despite all he went through in TMI, mainly with him losing half his memories and as a result losing important pieces of himself, he’s able to find himself again throughout TFSA or at the very least gain some idea of the type of Shadowhunter and person he wants to be. But then he loses George, once again he’s faced with unbearable loss. One as well that didn’t come from noble sacrifice or dying in battle protecting the people you love. George died drinking from the mortal cup and even though he was a good person, even though he was more than worthy, more worthy than Simon according to him, the cup didn’t want him.

“[George] was no different to me. No less worthy of Ascension. If anything, he was more worthy than me.” pg. 283

So when they all travel to Diyu and Simon is taken and tortured by Sammael, and Magnus has been stabbed by Svefnthorn and Isabelle gives herself up to demons, it’s all just reinforcing Simon’s worries about loss and how easy it is to lose what you love. Honestly I am so glad to have content where Simon is appreciated and allowed to show how much he cares and be more than just comic relief.

When they are in the Cathedral and Simons calm finally wavers I was so keen for it. And boi was I not disappointed. We get to really see how Simon is coping, how the loss that made him stronger is now what’s making him fall apart. Everyone else is so shocked and confused by his reaction:

“[Clary] looked wary…“This isn’t like you,”” pg. 282

“….“This isn’t even your first trip to a hell dimension,” Jace pointed out” pg. 282

It really shows how no one expected Simon of all people to be the one to break. It gives the others the chance to crumble a bit too. Isabelle who has always been very noble, always ready to fight, doesn’t know how to answer Simon when he asks how they all keep risking their and their loved ones lives. Before this book we never really got to see how they coped with the trauma they gained from TMI. We saw them in TDA but that was about four (I think?) years later, in the midst of someone else’s story and another fight. (As someone who very much prefers character over plot being able to read moments like this with some of my all time favourite characters really is my favourite thing. Like yes it’s sad as hell but oh isn’t it the best kind?)

Simon needs this moment. They all do. The desperation in Simon’s voice, everyone else’s inability to give him an answer. Because he has a point.

“How do you risk yourself and everyone you love, over and over again?” pg. 284

The Shadowhunter motto is just as much ‘we often die young’, as it is ‘facilus descensus averno’ and George’s death made this painfully clear to Simon. I think that Simon is definitely prepared to risk his own life, we’ve seen him do so many times before, but it’s the risk to the lives of the people he loves that he cannot deal with. The others kind of accept it, they definitely don’t love the idea of it but they know it’s a dangerous job. Both Jace and Alec literally say so.

It’s a moment that makes everyone grateful for their love.

- Clary tells Simon and Isabelle she loves them.

- Jace wraps his arms around her ‘drawing her close’.

- Alec reflects on the choice to love someone.

Writing this is really making me realise that maybe that’s what the whole story is about. Love. They’ve all found their epic loves, their families, they should all be happy. And they are, you don’t go through what they went through and not come out of it happy to still have the people you care about. But with the presence of love now it’s apparent, especially for Simon, that fear of losing it. And while it’s a hard thing to cope with, as Alec and Simon put it:

“That’s being a Shadowhunter,” said Alec.

Simon shook his head, “No, that’s being a person,”