#a character dying is one thing we’ve had that

[majoringinsarcasm]

Me: I’m not worried about any of team rwby dying bc they are the main characters so whatever happens to them is fine bc I know they won’t die

Volume 9 Chapter 8: would you bet your life on that?

[abitcaughtinthemiddle]

Glintshore is going to mean something different in The Legend of Vox Machina than it did in the original campaign

At this point in campaign 1, Vex and Percy has not yet hooked up and had been dancing around their feelings for each other. Laura and Taliesin have both said that Vex and Percy would never have admitted their feelings for each other hadn’t Percy died and Vex made her plea to him (true love’s Nat 20).

In fact, Taliesin has said that he was ready to let Percy die permanently and move on with his backup character (fun fact: it was actually Mollymauk from Campaign 2 that was his backup C1 character) but Laura’s choice and the Nat 20 roll was too much to simply ignore (and thank god for that because Perc’ahlia is my prized ship and my Roman Empire).

The timeline of things being very different in TLOVM means that we’ve gotten a sort of sped up development of not only the relationship between Percy and Vex but the relationship Percy has with himself. As we’ve been seeing in the show, Percy seems much lighter, much less burdened by the weight of Orthax and revenge. In episode 6, we see him have a touching moment of with Vex about the future, talking about his hopes for Whitestone.

In the campaign, he was still carrying around this weight of guilt and shame in a way that wasn’t dealt with like it was in the show (with his self sacrifice in Ank’Harel, taking responsibility for inventing guns- bringing widespread consequences across all of Exandria). This never happened in the live stream. Glintshore ended up acting like this penance: Percy dying at the hands of the very weapon he created.

Since we’ve seen a more “carefree” happier Percy in the show, and he’s already had his moment of self flagellation, Glintshore is going to mean something else in the show.

Of course, we all know this is going to be a wake up call for Vex to finally admit her love for him and stop pretending she can just fool around with him -heart be damned. I think it’s going to mean a lot for Vax and Keyleth too.

Since they’ve set up plot line that Vax is the one concerned about Keyleth’s long life span, I feel like Percy’s death is going to wake Keyleth up tot he fact that everyone she knows and loves will die before her, and she’ll see a little bit more where Vax is coming from- and I think Vax is going to start to realize that Keyleth can handle herself around loss and that he’s being an absolute fool by pushing her away.

Like Marisha’s said in interviews, these upcoming episodes are going to deal with facing fears- and I think Percy’s death and finding a way to resurrect him is going to touch on a lot more of Vox Machina’s fears than just Percy and Vex. I can’t wait to see how it plays out.

[crescenthistory]

You and I, We’ve Grown Comfortable Here

Pairing: Lee x Reader

Summary: Two outcasts with nowhere to go decides to go nowhere together. In each other they find shelter, acceptance, intrigue and a bond neither expected to go as deep as it does.

Words: 13.6k

Warnings: not proofread, basically five fics in one (a year of their relationship developing), assault, hints at sexual assault, implied attempted rape, death, murder, cannibalism (bones&all hello), make-out sessions, blood, implied smut(?), panic attacks, implied abusive parents, kicked out of home, living in a car, crying, angst, slow burn, cannibals in love, hurt/much comfort, happy ending, lee's truck being a character in and of itself

A/N: i am so unwell, i wrote this whole thing in the span of ONE day. this man makes me unwell. anyway, if i ever write any other fics or drabbles for lee, unless otherwise specified, presume it is based on this background because i am obsessed with these two.

***

When you saw the headlights, your heart caught in your throat just a little. It was late, too late to be out walking down a relatively abandoned countryroad, too late to even be awake. With only the stars for company, you were dragging your feet as you were walking in the hopes of hitting a camping site soon. You had heard good rumours of one not far away from the town you are putting in your rearview mirror. Metaphorically of course, with no driving liscense or car, all you had to get from one place to another were your shoes and your bravery.

It had been a couple of months since you left home. Whenever you had the opportunity to sleep, you could still hear the shouting and the slamming of doors when your father finally threw you out for good. The home in question had never felt safe for you anyway, you had never fit into the small town cookie cutter they tried to press you into, even when it drew blood.

After all that, you might be best off alone you concluded, and have stuck to that as you made your way through the US. There was nowhere in particular you wanted to go, you just did not want to be tied down anywhere. You wanted to see, explore and feel.

You had been dabbling in hitchhiking over the months, always sending a silent prayer to gods you did not believe in before getting into the strange cars. With a knife always in the pocket of your hoodie, you felt relatively secure that you could defend yourself if worse comes to worse. Yet you knew you can never truly know. You tried to keep your head on you still.

There had not been any cars on the road you were currently occupying for the past two hours. It had, for a glorious moment, felt like yours. Just you and the pavement and the night. So, when the headlights lit you up for behind, you grew a bit weary. Part of you wanted to jump in it, unsure of how long you had left until the campsite, tired to the bone, but you knew you shouldn’t at this hour.

But you were also so incredibly tired.

The rumble of the engine neared closer and the driver dimmed the headlights. On your left, the car drove into view, an old beat up truck, and it was slowing down to stop beside you. Leaning over the passenger seat, a young man peered out through the rolled down window, a messy head of freshly dyed hair shining like a beacon in the dark. He watched you with a face torn between curios and cautious.

“You good?” he called out, trying to be heard over the noise of his car.

You didn’t answer right away. Instinct told you to keep walking, to keep your head down and stay invisible like you’d been doing all night. But something about him made you stop.

You squinted through the light. “What do you think?”

He let out a breathy laugh, the kind that was more habit than humor. "Yeah, didn’t think so." His voice was rough, not unfriendly, but sharp around the edges. He glanced down the empty road and then back at you. "Need a ride or something?"

Every ride so far had been a risk, a quiet leap of faith, and it wasn’t like you had a good track record with trusting people. Your parents had made sure of that, kicking you out like it was nothing, like you were the problem for being too loud, too you.

Still, you couldn’t keep walking forever. And there was something intriguing about this boy, out here alone in the night, just like you.

“I guess that’s where we’re at tonight,” was your response, and he nodded immediately with a halfsmile.

“Fair enough. Where you headed?”

“Anywhere but here.”

“Same,” he said, and for a moment, the two of you just stared at each other across the empty road. Something about him felt different — like he wasn’t just another passerby. You weren’t scared. Maybe that should’ve worried you.

He threw the passenger side door open. “You coming, or what?”

"Depends," you said, raising an eyebrow. "You a serial killer or something?"

He smirked, but there was a hint of something darker in his eyes, something guarded. "Not tonight."

"Comforting," you deadpanned, but you found yourself stepping closer to the truck anyway.

He watched you climb in with a kind of steady calm, like he was waiting for you to make the call. There wasn’t an ounce of threat in him, no leering or weird comments, just quiet, detached curiosity.

The truck smelled faintly of gasoline and something else, something metallic that made the back of your throat tighten, but you ignored it. There was a quiet ease to him, though, like he wasn’t thinking of you as prey – like he wasn’t thinking of you at all, really. He just… was. And it felt like enough.

The silence stretched between you as the truck rumbled down the road. Finally, you turned to him, curiosity itching at your thoughts.

“So, you pick up girls off the side of the road often, or am I just lucky?”

He gave you a side glance, something like amusement tugging at the corners of his lips. “Lucky’s a word for it.”

There was something raw in his eyes when he said it, a guarded edge you recognized. You didn’t push it. 

“I heard there is a campsite in the town over, I was thinking of maybe staying the night there,” you said, not wanting him to feel stuck with you in the car forever.

“The Meadows Site? Yeah, I was actually thinking of parking there for the night myself,” he said, giving you a curious glance before looking back to the road. “But it is a few more hours off.”

“Wow, I really am lucky you picked me up then.”

He snorted at that, a sound you somehow hadn’t expected to escape from him, but was amused to hear. You didn’t feel a need to chat further at the moment, and didn’t get the impression he did either. It was not uncomfortable though, the opposite actually. The atmosphere in his truck was comforting, to the point where you would almost fall asleep, though you really should not. Still, there was one thing left to ask.

“What’s your name, kind stranger?” you quipped, teasing tone evident in your voice. He smiled fully then, relaxing more into his seat.

“Lee. And yours, lucky girl?”

You told him your name and settled back into your seat yourself, watching the stars blur into the dark as the truck carried you further and further from everything you’d ever known.

***

It turned out you both had nowhere to go. No one waiting for you at the end of the line. No real reason for him to drive off without you the morning after your night spent in Meadows Site. He had borrowed you a blanket to lay on, thicker than the one you had been surviving on for a while now. After eating breakfast at a shop nearby that he showed you, clearly more familiar in the area than you, it just made sense to get back into the truck with him. That’s how you both rationalised it, as your eyes sparked with interest and entertainment whenever they met. Just made sense.

From that day, Lee’s truck became the closest you had had to a home in months. Maybe even years.

The miles between you and the world grew, but so did the distance between you and the versions of yourselves you left behind. You had nothing to offer each other apart from company, and nothing to lose from spending your days with one another. 

It became easy, almost too easy. Long stretches of road, music humming through the truck's radio, filling the space between the two of you. Conversations about nothing that meant everything — favorite songs, old memories that still hurt, silly stories from childhood, tragedies that were so massive it became intrinsically hilarious to you both, Stories you told in the dead of night when the world felt softer, more forgiving. 

Lee felt true in a way no other had. His company was comfortable, natural. A genuine friend that you could tease, maybe even flirt with a little when the mood struck. Nothing serious you would say. All in good fun, teenagers cruising through the Midwestern countryside.

It felt like forever, though it had only been a few weeks. The truck was a much better bed than the thin blanket you had relied on since you left the house you grew up in. You’d sleep in the backseat, sometimes curled up in the trunk with blankets piled up like a nest. On rare occasions, when exhaustion weighed you both down, you’d spring for a cheap motel, a temporary reprieve from the road.

The more you got to know Lee, the more that sense you had gotten about him on the night you met grew. Something was different about him, something you could taste on your tongue, a kind of unspoken understanding that simmered beneath the surface. You couldn’t explain it, not exactly, but there was something in Lee that reminded you of someone else. It wasn’t just the way he moved or the sharp look in his eyes – it was the way he held himself, the way he watched people, sizing them up like he knew more about them than they’d ever want to know.

You had known someone like that before.

Your uncle.

Your family never talked about him, not after he disappeared, but you remembered the day it happened like a movie in your mind. The last time you saw him. He had come to visit, just passing through, or so he said. You were young, but not young enough to forget the blood that stained his clothes, how his face was drawn, pale, like he was barely holding it together. How his teeth were off-white in a way you had never seen before. He had brushed it off when you asked him, saying he had gotten into a fight, nothing serious, but the way he smelled… it stuck with you.

The metallic tang of blood, the way it clung to him even after he cleaned up, how his eyes seemed wild and unfocused in the dim light of the kitchen. You could never explain it to someone without sounding insane. But yet somehow, you knew what he was. You knew.

Your parents didn’t say much about it then. They just watched him with wary eyes, their faces tight with something close to fear, though they never admitted it. When he left, they didn’t even look at that, and once he was gone they removed all photographs. They never mention him again, not even when you asked. It was like he had never existed. Like he had never even been part of the family.

You never met someone like him again, someone you could feel deep in your bones.

Until Lee. The Lee you looked at as he drove nonchalantly down roads, almost too relaxed to be sitting in a driver’s seat. He made all those pieces you had tucked away begin to slot together, forming a picture that put words to your instincts. The way your uncle had looked that night, the way your own body sometimes seemed to hum with something restless, it was all there, just waiting for you to acknowledge it.

You did not bring it up to him, it never seemed natural. And honestly, you didn’t feel the need to. For some reason, the idea of it all didn’t bother you. Lee was just Lee still, your road companion.

One night, you and Lee had parked the truck somewhere far off the main road, the stars stretched out like a tapestry above you. It was late, the kind of late where the world felt quieter, where the darkness seemed deeper, more honest. You were lying on a blanket in the bed of the truck, side by side, the silence between you comfortable but heavy, like something was waiting to be said.

The two of you had shared a lot already, more than you thought you had in you to share. He was still technically a strange man to you, it had not yet been a month. Still, you felt a bond with him you could not explain. His presence brought you peace in a world too large for you to grasp.

You could feel the weight of his gaze on you, the way his fingers twitched restlessly by his side, like he was working through something in his head. Lee had been quieter than usual lately, more thoughtful, more distant. You didn’t push him – he was always like that, a little withdrawn when he was trying to sort through whatever was going on in his head. But tonight, it felt different. More pointed.

Finally, he broke the silence.

"Do you… know?"

The question caught you off guard. It was so vague, so quiet, that for a second, you weren’t sure if you had heard him right. You turned your head to look at him, but his eyes were still fixed on the stars above, his expression unreadable in the dim light. There was something in his tone, though. Cautious, like he wasn’t sure how you would answer. Like he was afraid to hear it.

You swallowed, your heart picking up speed. "Know what?"

His jaw clenched, the muscles in his neck tightening as he shifted slightly, still not looking at you. It seemed like he had hoped you would not ask. He was always careful, always measured with his words, but this time, you could tell he was holding something back. He exhaled slowly, and then, without turning his head, he said it again, this time more direct.

"About me. About what I am."

There was no uncertainty in you about what he was referring to. There it was, the thing you had been skirting around, the thing neither of you had spoken aloud. You knew, deep down, that this conversation had been coming for a while, with all the time you spent together, but now that it was here, the weight of it felt like a stone settling in your chest.

Your mind raced, memories of your uncle flashing through your thoughts, the blood on his hands, the way your parents had never spoken about him again. The way it all lingered in you like electricity. 

You nodded slowly, your voice quiet. "Yeah. I know."

Lee didn’t move, didn’t say anything for a moment, but you could feel the tension radiating off him, the way his body seemed to coil like a spring, ready to snap. His fingers drummed lightly against the truck bed, a habit he had when he was nervous, though he’d never admit it. 

You wondered how he knew to ask you, if he had seen it in your eyes. You guessed you could ask him. But this moment hung in the air between you with such fragility. It felt like something had shifted irreversibly between you, and you were not yet certain if it was a good thing or not.

When he finally spoke, his voice was rough, strained. "And you… don’t care? Or what? You don’t wanna leave?"

You turned to him fully, propping yourself up on your elbow to get a better look at his face. The starlight cast shadows over his sharp features, but his eyes—his eyes were clear, burning with something raw, something vulnerable he never let anyone else see. They were straining to remain trained on the sky.

"I’m not scared of you, Lee," you said softly, your voice steady but firm. "Or of it. I know who you are. And I know you’re a good person."

Lee’s breath hitched, just for a moment, barely noticeable, but you caught it. His eyes finally flickered toward you, the walls he kept up so carefully starting to crack. He looked like he wanted to say something, but the words wouldn’t come. He just stared at you, a thousand thoughts racing behind his eyes, none of them quite making it out.

He swallowed hard, his voice dropping even lower when he finally spoke. "You don’t even know what I’ve done."

"I don’t need to," you said, your gaze locked on his. "I know you. I’ve been with you this long, and I think I have known all along. And I’m still here."

He stared at you for a long moment, his brow furrowed like he couldn’t believe what you were saying, like he was waiting for you to change your mind. But when you didn’t, when you just kept looking at him like none of it scared you, like you weren’t about to run, something in him seemed to shift. The tension in his shoulders eased, just a little, and he let out a slow, shaky breath.

"Why are you not afraid?" he asked, his voice quieter now, almost hesitant.

You shook your head, almost wanting to laugh. “You’re just Lee to me.”

Lee looked away again, his eyes tracing the stars, but his mind was far from the night sky. The silence stretched between you once more, but this time, it wasn’t heavy with tension. It felt lighter. Like a weight had been lifted, even if he wasn’t ready to say it yet.

You settled back in beside him, arm grazing his. Comfortable. 

For the first time in a long while, Lee let himself relax. He was always aloof, physically all over the place, but his mind remained alert. Now, he let it fall onto the pillow your words provided. He realized then, though he didn’t say it out loud, that the tightness in his chest, the thing he had been fighting for weeks, it wasn’t just nothing. He didn’t want to think the word, let alone say it. It had crept in slowly, so quietly that he hadn’t noticed it until it was staring him in the face. 

Love didn’t feel safe to him. Love was complicated, messy. Dangerous, even. And yet, here you were, sitting beside him, telling him you weren’t afraid, telling him you knew who he was and that it didn’t matter. That you’d stay.

It was a feeling he didn’t know how to name. Not yet.

He turned back to you, his eyes softer now, a faint smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "You’re really not gonna leave, huh?"

You laughed a little at how he shared it like a revelation, shaking your head. "Nope. You’re stuck with me."

Lee let out a breathy laugh, a sound that seemed to ease the last bit of tension between you. He looked at you, really looked at you, and for the first time since he met you, he felt something close to hope. He didn’t say it, but in that moment, he knew he’d do whatever it took to keep you by his side.

"I could get used to that," he murmured, his voice quiet but sincere.

And as the two of you sat there, side by side under the stars, the unspoken understanding between you deepened, solidified. You weren’t leaving. You weren’t afraid. And for Lee, that was enough.

You fell asleep side by side, just you and the stars.

***

Nights passed like that, over weeks and months, with you and him slowly gravitating closer. 

Whether it be in the seats of the truck or the trunk, you always slept near each other. Originally you slept on either side of the trunk, or in each your seat, but as you spent most of your nights talking until either one of you passed out, it just felt natural to be close by.

Waking up with your limbs accidentally having gotten entangled, faces closer than you ever would be when conscious became a norm. The first time it happened, Lee woke first, but did not move until you woke, revelling in the touch of your body against his. Eyes studying your calm face, fully convinced this would be his only opportunity to be this close to you. When you came to, he pretended your movements woke him.

Neither of you spoke of it. There was no need to. Some things didn’t need words.

The more you got used to waking up entangled, the more intimate it became. You would find yourself laying on top of Lee’s chest, or his face would be tucked into the crook of your neck. Once this started happening, you both happened to begin to prefer sleeping in the trunk.

Despite your increasing comfort with each other, the nights were never completely peaceful. Sometimes you would wake up to find him gone, wandering somewhere. It was usually in the aftermath of a nightmare, but you also knew that he sometimes had other reasons for being gone.

You woke up in the middle of the night, the truck’s trunk feeling too empty, too cold. Instinctively, your hand reached over the space where Lee usually lay beside you, but all you felt was the crumpled fabric of his jacket. He wasn’t there. For a few seconds, you blinked in the darkness, groggy, your mind slow to catch up with the situation. The air felt wrong, too still, too quiet. That was when you noticed the faint sounds of movement just beyond the trees, down near the creek.

When possible, you two tried to park near a body of water, so you had the opportunity to wash up. You had also mentioned to Lee how relaxing you found lakes, and he started planning his routes around it after that.

You could hear heavy breathing and splashing by the water. Without thinking, you slipped out of the trunk, pulling on one of Lee’s hoodies he had discarded beside your blankets, and you quietly padded down toward the sounds. The moon hung low over the horizon, casting long shadows across the water, and that was when you saw him.

Lee was crouched near the edge of the creek, his shoulders tense, his hands dipped in the water. The pale light from the moon caught on his skin, but more than that, it illuminated the dark smudges smeared across his neck and arms. Blood.

He had not heard you yet, too focused on what he was doing – trying to scrub the blood away with frantic, almost desperate movements. He was shaking, his body too tense, like he was on the verge of unraveling. His shirt was torn at the shoulder, the material soaked in water and blood. His hair, usually a mess of carefully maintained chaos, stuck to his forehead in sweat-soaked strands.

For a moment, you didn’t move. You just watched him, heart aching at how broken he looked. It wasn’t like the Lee you were used to. This wasn’t the confident, quippy guy who could brush off anything with a smirk. No, this was the other side of him, the side he didn’t let you see. The one that carried all the weight of what he did, of who he was. The one that bled in more ways than just physically.

“Lee?” Your voice was soft, careful. You didn’t want to startle him, but you couldn’t just stand there, watching him like this.

He froze for a moment, his hands stilling in the water. He didn’t look up at you right away, just stared down at his own reflection rippling in the creek. “Go back to the truck,” he said, his voice rough, a little shaky. “I’m fine.”

But you could hear it. He wasn’t fine. Not even close.

A closer look at where he was sitting, you could see that he wasn’t fine physically either, his torn shirt revealing scratches across his upper body, bruises already forming along his arms in the moonlight. Whoever encountered your Lee tonight had put up a fight.

You ignored him, stepping closer, your bare feet sinking into the wet grass near the water’s edge. “You’re hurt.”

He let out a harsh breath, finally looking up at you. His face was pale, a little gaunt under the moonlight. His eyes, usually so sharp and full of something unreadable, were glassy. “It’s nothing,” he muttered, turning back to the water. “I’m just cleaning up.”

But you could see the way his hands trembled, how his movements were too rough, too quick, like he was trying to scrub the guilt away more than the blood. You stepped closer until you were beside him, crouching down at his level.

“Lee, look at me.”

He didn’t. His jaw tightened, and he kept scrubbing, the water turning pink as it mixed with the blood on his skin. 

"Lee," you said again, firmer this time, reaching out to gently touch his arm. 

He finally stopped, his hands hovering just above the surface of the water, but still wouldn’t look at you. “You weren’t supposed to see this,” he muttered, voice raw. “You weren’t supposed to—” He cut himself off, his shoulders hunching forward like he was folding into himself. “Shit.”

"What is wrong with me seeing this?" you asked quietly, your fingers tracing the outline of a bruise forming along his arm. "Why do you have to fix it yourself?"

He swallowed hard, still staring at the water. "Because you don’t need to deal with this. With me. You didn’t sign up for… any of this." His voice wavered at the edges, frustration mixing with exhaustion.

You shook your head, biting back the sting in your own chest. "You think I care about blood? About this? I knew what I was getting into, I told you so. If you’re hurt, I want to help."

He finally looked at you then, his expression flickering with something like disbelief. “You shouldn’t have to… see me like this. Like some… fuckin’ monster. No, no.”

“You’re not a monster,” you said firmly, and you didn’t waver. You tightened your grip on his forearm. You could see the bruises, the blood streaking down his neck in shapes that looked like somebody had scratched at him, put up a fight. You saw the way he clenched his jaw like he was holding everything in, trying not to crack open. You saw the way his eyes flickered with guilt, shame, like he couldn’t stand himself in that moment. The same boy that laughed with you in the car, who played jokes on strangers. Who usually tried to seem totally content with this lifestyle of his.

"Yes, I am," he whispered, his voice breaking. "You don’t… understand what it’s like. To have to do this, to –"

"I don’t have to understand everything," you cut him off, your hand sliding up to his neck, gently brushing through his damp hair. "But I know you. And I know you don’t have to do this alone. That is my choice, and I choose to be here for you."

He let out a shaky breath, his eyes closing for a brief moment like he was trying to pull himself together. But when he opened them again, you saw the vulnerability in them, the rawness that he tried so hard to keep hidden. He was struggling, fighting to keep himself together, to not fall apart in front of you.

You sat down beside him fully now, your knees brushing his, your hand still resting at the back of his neck. “Let me help.”

He hesitated, his pride fighting against the offer, but he was too tired to resist for long. Slowly, he nodded, his body slumping in defeat as he let you take over.

You helped him take of his torn t-shirt, leaving him bare to reflect the moonlight, and dipped it into the creek. The cold water soaking through the fabric as you carefully brought it back up to his skin, gently wiping away the dried blood from his face, his arms. He winced slightly when you dabbed at a few deeper cuts near his ribs, but he didn’t pull away.

"You don’t have to pretend with me," you said quietly, your eyes focused on cleaning him up. "You don’t have to be strong all the time."

Lee didn’t respond right away. He just watched you, his eyes following the way you moved, the way your touch was soft, careful. He let out a low breath, something like relief mixing with the exhaustion in his voice. “I hate that you’re seeing me like this.”

“Why?” You glanced up at him, raising an eyebrow. “Because you’re hurt? Or because you’re human?”

He laughed roughly at that, shaking his head slightly. “I haven’t felt human in a long time.”

You paused, your hand stilling for a moment before you continued cleaning the blood from his neck. “You feel human to me.”

He went quiet again, his eyes studying you, the way you didn’t flinch, didn’t shy away from the mess of him. For a long time, neither of you spoke. The only sound was the gentle ripple of the creek as you worked, the soft splash of water as you wrung out the bloody fabric.

“He-” Lee began but his voice broke. You were patient, continuing to tend to him as he seemed to wrestle with whether to continue the sentence. Eventually: “He was a bad guy. I always try to make sure they are.”

It broke your heart to hear the pleading undertone of what he was saying. What he was trying to convey to you.

You weren’t entirely sure what the best response was, but you settled on telling him you believed him.

When you were done, you leaned back slightly, your hands resting on your thighs as you looked him over. He still had some bruises that would take time to heal, but most of the blood was gone, his skin clean again under the moonlight. None of his scratches were in need of any serious medical intervention, but you made a mental note to stop by a pharmacy in the morning regardless.

“There,” you said softly, brushing your thumb over his cheek. “Better.”

Lee stared at you for a moment longer, his eyes flickering with something you couldn’t quite place. Then, without warning, he leaned forward, pressing his forehead against yours, his breath warm against your skin. His voice was barely above a whisper when he spoke. “You shouldn’t have to take care of me like this.”

You closed your eyes, your hands resting lightly on his shoulders. “I want to.”

For a long moment, he didn’t move, just stayed there, eyes closed and his forehead resting against yours. His breath slowly steadying as he let himself lean on you, just for a little while.

“Thank you,” he murmured, so soft you almost didn’t hear it.

You smiled slightly, your hand moving to the back of his neck again, gently threading your fingers through his hair. “I told you. You’re not alone.”

“Not alone,” he mumbled and wiggled his forehead against yours briefly before pulling back and getting up.

He stretched a hand out to you, ready to pull you back with him to the truck.

***

A few states had ended up in your rearview mirror since you turned that creek pink and your hearts slightly softer. The atmosphere between you had shifted yet again, growing deeper and deeper each time. There was no acknowledgement of it, but there didn’t need to be. In the unspokeness, you could grow bolder. The touches, the glances, they took up more and more space in your increasingly small truck. You would yet again wake up in each other’s arms, and it no longer felt accidental.

It was the small things, too. The way his hand would brush yours when you walked side by side, or how he let his fingers linger a moment longer when you passed him something. The way your legs would press together in the truck when you shared the cramped front seat, neither of you moving away. Sometimes, when the truck was pulled off the road and you were both leaning against it, talking under the stars, his knee would bump against yours, and instead of pulling back, he let it stay there.

It felt like you were both waiting for something. The tension was not sharp, it was warm, almost inviting. You both knew what was next, but neither of you had made the move to cross that last, thin line.

You and Lee had spent the evening like you always did—driving, talking, letting the hours slip away into easy silences and the occasional laugh. Planning where to head to next. You had decided to drive to see the silliest places you could find, asking random strangers was the weirdest tourist attraction they have heard of is. On the list is Ben and Jerry’s Flavor Graveyard, the world largest ball of paint and a nuclear waste adventure trail. The night had come over you, and you ended up parked on the outskirts of a town, the lights from them illuminating you even in the dark. The two of you sat on the hood of the truck, your legs dangling off the edge, shoulders brushing.

He was quieter tonight. You could sense it in the way his gaze kept drifting over to you, then back to the stars. His hand rested on the metal beside you, his fingers tapping a slow rhythm, like he was thinking through something he had not decided on yet. But it wasn’t the usual restlessness that seemed to rule Lee’s entire existence. This was something different. Something quieter.

You nudged him gently with your shoulder. “You’re awfully quiet for a guy who never shuts up.”

He huffed a laugh, his head tilting toward you, that familiar smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Yeah, I get that a lot.”

“Ironic, isn’t it?”

You smiled, your eyes catching the faint light of the stars reflecting in his. It was moments like this that you felt the pull most strongly – the way his face softened when he wasn’t trying to keep his guard up, the way he let you see parts of him he didn’t show anyone else. There was something magnetic about Lee when he wasn’t hiding. It made you want to keep his doors open, to take them off their hinges.

His hand shifted, almost imperceptibly, his fingers brushing against yours on the deck of the trunk. It was barely a touch, just the faintest hint of skin against skin, but you felt it like a jolt, a reminder of how close you both were. You didn’t pull away, and neither did he. 

The silence stretched between you again, thick with something unspoken. It struck you how much serenity you felt in your soul in the silences with him, even when there was something brewing in it. You could feel him beside you, the warmth of him, the way his breath had slowed, his body still as if he was waiting for something.

Your fingers twitched, brushing against his again, and this time, you didn’t hesitate. You turned your hand over, palm up, an invitation as much as it was a question. Lee glanced down at your hand, and for a moment, you thought he might pull away, like he had so many times before. But instead, his fingers curled slowly around yours, his grip gentle but sure, and your breath caught in your throat.

Neither of you spoke. The understanding that had hung between you for weeks was right there, all you had to do was lean into it.

“Lee,” you whispered, not even sure what you were asking. You liked having his name in your mouth. 

He turned his body towards you at his name, shifting closer, eyes locked on yours. You could see the hesitation there, the way his brow furrowed slightly, like he was still fighting something inside himself, still holding back.

But you weren’t. Not anymore.

You leaned in, closing the space between you before you could second-guess yourself, your lips brushing his softly, testing. Just once, enough to give him an out, enough to say I’m here, if you are.

For a moment, nothing happened. Lee stayed perfectly still against you, his breath caught, his fingers tightening around yours. Then, slowly, almost tentatively, he leaned in further, his lips pressing back against yours, soft and warm. Open mouthed, lovingly.

It wasn’t rushed or desperate like you might have imagined. It was careful, deliberate, like he was letting himself feel it for the first time, like he wanted to make sure it was real. His free hand came up, brushing lightly against your jaw, his fingers tracing the edge of your face, almost as if he was afraid you might disappear if he didn’t hold on.

You deepened the kiss further, savouring his touches, the feeling of his tongue against yours. Your hand glided up to his chest, your fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt, pulling him closer. Slow but steady, the tension between you finally breaking in the gentlest way possible. It was like everything that had been building between you – every touch, every glance, every unspoken word – was spilling into that moment, into the way his lips moved against yours, into the way he held you like you were the only thing to hold.

When you finally pulled back, your foreheads rested against each other, your breaths mingling in the cool night air. Lee’s eyes were still closed, his thumb brushing over your cheek as if grounding himself in the moment, his lips parted, trying to catch his breath.

You stayed like that for a while, it didn’t matter how long. Few things mattered, you had found. Lee did. 

When he finally opened his eyes, they were unguarded in a way you hadn’t seen before. He didn’t smile, but the look in his eyes said enough. He was here, with you, in whatever this was.

He whispered your name, a late response.

You hummed with a smile, your fingers still tangled in his shirt. No words were needed. There were none that could be said, not now, not yet. 

Lee chuckled softly, a sound that felt more like relief than anything else. He slid down from leaning against the truck, to laying on the deck, still not letting go of your hand. You followed suit, for the first time purposefully laying your body half on top of his, head resting on his chest. 

No more waiting.

There was a whole civilisation right before you, just out of reach, but for the first time in a long time, you weren’t thinking about the next destination. You were here, together, and that was all that mattered.

***

Once that barrier was breached, you and Lee found yourself stealing kisses of varying intensity more often than not. There was no label on the two of you, with your pasts you both were guarded from being the first to admit the intensity behind your actions. Yet, the need to be close was not dissipating as the days passed, if anything it only grew the more of a taste you got for each other.

One night, you found yourselves at a dive bar on the edge of some no-name town. The music thumped through the walls, too loud and too fast, but it matched the energy buzzing between you and Lee. The dim lights made everything look a little hazy, like the whole world was moving in slow motion. Lee leaned against the bar, his back to the crowd, his eyes fixed on you as you stood close to him, sipping on a cheap cider that barely tasted like anything. He hadn’t drank much tonight, which made the way he was looking at you feel even more intense.

There was something magnetic about him, the way he carried himself, the way his arm seemed to naturally find its way around your shoulders when in public, protective and possessive without being overbearing. You could feel the heat of his skin through your clothes, and you leaned into it, enjoying the comfort of his touch. 

It was late, and the air between you was only magnifying your need for him, his fingers barely touching yours on the bartop like he was daring you to pull him closer. He only moved them to order another round from the bartender, shooting you a wicked grin.

“Thoughts?” he asked you as he handed you your new drink.

“This place isn’t too bad. The guy at the bar isn’t either.” The smile you flashed him was teasing and he all but rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, I guess we’re both alright.”

You were about to make some quip about his soft spot for dive bars when a figure caught your eye, and you tensed. A guy had sidled up to the bar a few feet away, his eyes fixed on you, too interested, too familiar. You glanced at Lee, but he was already clocking the guy, his body going still beside you, though his expression didn’t change.

The guy stumbled closer, his drink sloshing in his hand. “You two look like you’re having a good time,” he slurred, his gaze flicking between you and Lee with a smirk that made your skin crawl.

Lee’s jaw tightened, but he didn’t look away from the guy. His look could draw blood, but his voice stayed calm, almost flat. “We were.”

The guy either didn’t notice your discomfort and Lee’s adverse stance, or he just didn’t care. He leaned in a little closer, still grinning like this was all a joke. “Come on, man. Just trying to talk to her.”

You didn’t have time to respond before Lee shifted, his arm moving in one fluid motion to slide around your waist, pulling you against him in a way that felt natural, like he was drawing a line in the sand. “She’s not interested,” he said, voice low and steady, but you could feel the warning beneath the surface.

The guy blinked, clearly caught off guard by Lee’s calm intensity, and he let out a nervous laugh. “Hey, man, no need to get all protective. Just having fun.”

Lee kept staring him down, his grip on you tight, steadying you as much as he was putting space between you and the guy. “Well, you’re done,” he said, still in that same measured tone, like he wasn’t giving the guy a choice in the matter. “Go back to your drink.”

He raised his hands in mock surrender, backing off with a muttered, “Alright, alright. Chill.” Slunking back into the crowd, he cast a few annoyed glances over his shoulder, but lacked the bravery to follow up on his annoyance.

Lee’s body was still taut with that lingering tension, eyes scanning the room again before he finally let out a breath. He didn’t pull away from you though, his hand resting on your hip as if he needed the contact to remind himself that you were alright.

"You okay?" he asked quietly, his voice softer now as he finally looked down at you, concern flickering behind his eyes.

“Yeah,” you whispered, trying to take in what just happened and how swiftly Lee handled it. Never before have you gotten away from a situation with a creepy man so fast. 

“Are you?” you eventually asked, looking up to see his jaw still slightly clenched.

He nodded, his expression softening slightly as he glanced down to meet your eyes. "Yeah. Just don’t like guys like that."

You smiled a little, leaning into him, your hand resting lightly on his chest. "I noticed."

His lips quirked into a small grin, and it felt easy again, back to just the two of you, even in this crowded bar. "You ready to get out of here?" he asked, his voice low, his breath warm against your skin now that you stood so close.

“Think so.” You finished your drink and without another word, he took your hand, leading you out into the cool night air. 

The bar’s noise faded into the background as the two of you walked back to the truck, your fingers still intertwined with his. There was something about the way he was holding your hand that made your heart race. It was tighter than normal, his thumb brushing over your skin.

You stopped by the passenger side door and Lee immediatley closed the gap between you, pressing you gently against the side of the truck. His hands rested on your hips, it was as if he had realised he could place them there now. When his gaze met yours, his eyes flickered with something dangerous, something raw.

"You know," he murmured, his voice rough, "I will always protect you. In any situation.”

You almost didn’t know what to say. It was so simple, yet he poured so much emotion into those words, and you felt them entirely.

“I do know,” you whispered. “I have never felt safety like this before.” The last part felt like a confession more than an answer. 

Lee’s breath hitched and he laid his forehead against yours, leaning more of his body against yours, so you were flush between him and the metal of the car.

“I’ve been trying not to kiss you all night. You’ve made it difficult.” Lee looked into your eyes as he said it, searching your face for a reaction. His pupils were wide, gaze intense.

You felt a shiver run through you at his words, the heat between you burning brighter. "Then stop trying."

He didn’t need any more encouragement. His lips crashed into yours with a force that knocked the breath out of you, one hand sliding up to grip your face while the other remained held your hips tighter, closer. His kisses were always languid, open-mouthed and passionate. You wrapped your arms around his neck, fingers threading through his hair and pulling at it as you kissed him back with equal intensity, your body arching against his. His mouth was warm and demanding, and when he kissed you, it felt like everything else in the world fell away.

The kiss deepened quickly, his hands moving up under your shirt, the cool air mixing with the heat of his touch. His mouth trailed down to your jaw, your neck, each kiss igniting sparks along your skin. You gasped softly, tilting your head to give him better access, your fingers travelling to dig into the skin of his back

"God," he murmured against your skin, his voice rough and breathless, like he could barely control himself.

The two of you stayed like that for a while, merging under the stars, the truck a silent witness to the way your bodies moved together, the way you couldn’t seem to get close enough. You lost track of time, lost track of everything except the feeling of his lips on yours, his hands on your skin. He was beginning to become your Lee.

***

Living with Lee changed you in many ways, but the most important was that for the first time in your life, you felt free. Whether it was the boy’s attitude or his attentiveness to you, or the roads that stretched for miles like ink on paper, you settled into your own body and existence. You owned yourself and your destiny in a way you didn’t think possible.

As you shared more of yourselves with each other, you realised just how repressed you had been, just how much of you had been shut off. In your newfound safety in Lee, you could open up.

Things long locked away were stirring within you. Some painful, some exciting. And some, you didn’t have the words to describe yet.

For the time being, you were on a quest to a museum of the history of cheese that an old lady at a café had been raving to you about. It was another state over, but this sweet woman insisted it was worth it, and as you were the ones who asked her about a recommendation, you felt it only right to trust her word.

On the way there, you were stopping in a typical shittown, the kind where nothing really happens but somehow everyone knows everyone else’s business. Craving excitement after a long day in the car with your feet in Lee’s lap, you asked him to go looking through town for something to do. There was a bonfire party that night, something thrown together by a group of locals, and you figured that would do.

 The fire crackled in the center of the gathering in the middle of the forest, the air heavy with smoke and alcohol. Lee’s arm was slung loosely around your shoulders as you walked through, scouting the place.

"You wanna stay long?" he asked, voice low in your ear.

You shook your head, leaning into him a little. "Nah. Let’s just see how it goes."

He nodded, but you could feel the tension in him, like he was always keeping one eye on the crowd. That protective streak ran deep in him, and you couldn’t help but wonder where it came from.

The two of you settled down on a log by the fire, chatting with some locals and getting your kick out of listening to them drawl away about town drama. A man had been circling where you were sat, both you and Lee noticed, but he never approached.

Needing to get some water from the truck, you squeezed Lee’s leg and told him you’d be right back.

He let his arm fall from around you to let you up, but looked at you with concern. “Don’t be long.” You just smiled. He watched you go, his eyes lingering on you longer than you realized.

You were walking back with water in hand, still on the outskirts of the bonfire and shielded from view when you saw the man coming up towards you. He looked the exact same as every man who had been a bother to you since you began life on your own and your stomach soured.

"Hey," the guy’s voice was a slurred mix of alcohol and bravado, his grin too wide, too familiar. "Why’d you leave your pretty boy toy behind? Done with him and ready for me?"

Your skin prickled with unease, but you forced yourself to stay calm. “I’m good. You should head back.”

He ignored you, stepping closer. "Come on, don’t be like that. We’re vibing, right?"

He reached for you, his hand brushing your arm, and you jerked back instinctively. “Don’t touch me.”

The grin on his face faltered, replaced with something darker. “You’re just playing hard to get,” he muttered, his voice low and threatening now. "Girls like you always do."

“Back off!” you tried, but he took quick steps toward you.

Your heart raced, and before you could step away, his hand shot out, grabbing your wrist with bruising force. You twisted, trying to wrench yourself free, but he was stronger than he looked. His other hand moved to his pocket, and when he pulled out the glint of a blade, panic surged through you.

"Stop –"

"You’re not going anywhere –"

What happened next was a blur—a clash of instincts, fear driving your body into overdrive. He lifted the knife towards your throat, likely to threathen and not harm in the moment, but you could not wait to see how that would turn out. Your body moved before your mind could catch up, your hands lashed out, grabbing his wrist with one and prying the knife away with another. Suddenly the blade was in your hand, and when he threw himself on top of you, you shoved him off with one hand and used the knife with the other. 

It found its home in his neck.

You scrambled away, not yet realising what had just happened. At your hands. You stared at him in shock where he laid in front of you, the sounds sickening, wet gurgle as his throat opened up. Blood poured out in a thick stream, hot and fast, soaking his shirt.

In shock and desperation, you grabbed at the wound as if to counteract what you had just done, but he took that opportunity to grab you by the hair and neck, attempting to choke you. Fear surged through you once more, but his once-hard grip was already weakening and you could wrestle free.

By the time you recovered and looked up, the life had drained from his eyes. All you could hear was your breathing and the pulse in your head.

You could smell the blood. On your hands, on his clothes, still oozing from his wound. It was dizzying, the world becoming distant as you were trapped inside this bubble that consisted of the two of you. You and the corpse.

You realised you had never seen a corpse before, not in person. Smelling fresh blood was different from smelling it once it had harkened on Lee’s skin. Not even the thought of Lee could drag you out of the state you were slowly being pulled into.

Without fully acknowledging your movements, you moved back towards the man, the one who had wished you dead and died by his own knife. Your eyes were fixated on his wound, something building inside of you at a rapid speed. A coil built in your stomach, one you had known was there for essentially forever, without the ability to give it a name.

It snapped. And as it did, you leaned down and sunk your teeth into his neck.

Everything felt right, not the kind of comfortable right you had developed with Lee, it felt like your body was finally getting air after a long period of suffocation, it felt like water after a long run. It felt like a meal after having been starving.

Your face was buried further and further in the flesh, your mind completely void of all thoughts. Just your fingers and teeth, blood and bone. Feral, instinctive, lost in the hunger that just kept building, like it was never enough. 

"Shit."

A switch went off, and you were snapped back to reality. The smell of forest pine and moss, bonfire and smoke crept back in. As you slowly lifted your gaze, you saw him standing at the edge of the clearing, eyes wide, his face pale in the moonlight. His gaze was locked on you, and for the first time since you met him, you saw real shock on his face. Not fear exactly, but something close. Something you didn’t expect.

Horror.

“Lee…” Your voice broke, barely a whisper. The reality of what you’d just done hit you all at once, crashing into you like a wave. “Oh, God.”

Your eyes flashed back down and suddenly it was as if you realised you had a corpse at your feet. You scrambled backwards, breathing quickening, horrified and lost. You stared at your hands as tears were beginning to blur your vision, only worsened by how you couldn’t even see your skin’s colour through all the blood. Small curses kept spilling out past your lips as your eyes darted between the man, your hands and Lee.

“I– I didn’t mean to, I–” Your voice broke.

Lee took a step forward, his face still a mask of shock. For a moment, he just stood there, frozen in place, staring at the blood smeared across your skin. He’d always sensed something in you, always felt that you and him were the same in some way, but this… this was different. He hadn’t smelled it on you before. He had no idea.

“I didn’t– I don’t know what happened, I just–” You couldn’t make sense of it. Of anything. Your world was turned upside down.

“Hey.” Lee had made his way over to you, sitting on his knees in front of you. His voice snapped you out of your spiraling thoughts, low and firm but not harsh. He closed the distance between you grabbing your arm, pulling you up from the ground. His grip was steady, but there was urgency in it now. “We gotta go.”

You blinked at him, still in shock, the reality of what you’d done slowly settling in. “But –”

“I know, I know, okay?” He pulled on a piece of hair plastered to your skin by blood, tucking it behind your hair. “I get it. But we gotta go. Now.” His voice cut through your haze of confusion and guilt. He didn’t wait for you to respond, didn’t give you the chance to argue. He grabbed you by the waist, practically lifting you off your feet as he dragged you away from the body and into the trees.

The world around you blurred as he pulled you through the forest, his grip firm, unyielding. The pounding in your head drowned out everything else– the sound of the party, the crackle of the bonfire, the smell of blood still clinging to you. All you could think about was what you had just done. What it meant. What you were.

By the time you reached the truck, you were shaking, your breath coming in short, panicked gasps. Lee shoved you into the passenger seat, his hand still gripping your arm like he was afraid you might bolt. He climbed in beside you, slamming the door shut, his face hard and unreadable as he started the engine.

For a while, there was nothing but the hum of the road, the world outside the truck a blur of dark trees and empty stretches of highway. Lee didn’t say anything, his eyes locked on the road ahead, his grip tight on the wheel. Mind racing almost as fast as the car, as he sped down the highway, determined to get as far away from the scene as possible. You sat beside him, leaning your head on the dashboard in front of you as you tried to gather yourself. Your hands still trembling, blood still drying on your skin. 

You could barely breathe, the walls of the truck closing in around you. The reality of what you had done hit you again, harder this time. You had killed someone. Eaten someone.

You choked on a sob, tears already streaking the blood on your face. Your chest was tightening, your vision blurring. “Lee, I–”

There was no way for you to finish the sentence.

With your eyes clenched shut, hidden away, making yourself as small as possible in your seat, you couldn’t see the pained look he gave you. He needed to protect you by putting distance between you and the crime. But all he wanted was to pull you close.

“It’s okay. I will stop as soon as I can. It’s okay.” 

Eventually he caught eye of a discreet sideroad and veered the truck down it as fast as possible. He slammed on the brakes, parking the car on a plot of grass by a river. The engine cut off, leaving the night in a sudden, heavy silence. In the blink of an eye, Lee was out of the truck, opening your door to pull you out as well. You were too out of it, not processing anything that was happening. He ended up scooping you into his arms and carrying you bridal style down to the riverside. 

One bloody bride that is.

He sat you down by the water, his hands still firm on your arms, not giving you room to break down yet. "Sit here." His voice was softer now, but still edged with urgency. He knelt beside you, shrugging off his jacket and dipping it into the water. The cold night air hit your skin, but you barely felt it, still lost in the haze of panic.

You sat there, frozen, as he started to clean the blood off your hands, your arms, your face, as carefully as he could when hurrying. His touch was careful, deliberate, the way it had been when you first found him at the creek, battered and trying to clean himself up. But there was something different this time, something softer, more protective, like he wasn’t just cleaning the blood away, but trying to take some of the weight of it with him. Like he was saying, You don’t have to carry this alone. His jaw was clenched, eyes focused entirely on you, like he was trying to fix you, trying to put you back together piece by piece.

“Lee,” you whispered, your voice hoarse. “Am I–?” You couldn’t finish the sentence.

He paused, his hands stilling for just a second before he looked up at you. His expression softened, something breaking in his eyes. He reached up with a wet hand, brushing over your cheek and simultaneously cleaning some blood off. "You don’t have to be scared of it," he murmured, his voice low, steady. "Or of me."

You blinked, tears welling in your eyes. "I don’t understand."

“I’m here.” His fingers remained on your face, wiping away the tears before they could fall too far. “I’m not going anywhere. You hear me?”

You gave a faint nod. 

For a long moment, neither of you said anything, the weight of what had just happened hanging between you. He kept trying to get as much blood as possible off you, making you presentable again both in case someone saw you and to help you feel normal again. He didn’t try to explain it, didn’t try to rationalize it. 

“I didn’t mean to,” you whispered, your voice cracking. “He attacked me, I protected myself and then, then–”

“I know,” he said quietly, pressing a quick kiss to your forehead. “I know.”

Lee made sure your face and hands were free from blood, and then he helped you out of your stained sweater, leaving you in just your top underneath. He discarded it quick and turned back to you, grabbing your shaking hands.

“We need to move again, sweetheart” he said, voice low but certain. “We can’t stay too close.”

He stood up, reaching out to pull you up with him. His movements were quiet, purposeful. He didn’t rush you, but there was a tension in the air now, like he was calculating the next move. You could tell his mind was already working ahead, mapping out the quickest way to get you both far from the scene, far from the mess you left behind.

Your legs wobbled as you stood, your body still weak from the adrenaline crashing out of your system, but Lee’s grip on you was firm, guiding you back toward the truck. He opened the passenger door, helping you in before sliding into the driver’s seat. He tentatively took your hand with the one that wasn’t on the steering wheel, rubbing circles on it with his thumb as a silent comfort. The truck rumbled to life beneath you, and for a moment, all you could hear was the sound of the engine, drowning out the thoughts you didn’t want to face.

"I didn’t know it would feel like this," you whispered once you were back on the road, your voice shaking. "I never… I didn’t think I’d ever be like this."

Lee was quiet for a moment, his eyes trained on the road, like he was thinking carefully about what to say next. Finally, he spoke, his voice low and steady, though there was something distant in it, like he was pulling from his own memories. "First time I fed… I couldn’t stop shaking afterward. Not ‘cause of the blood. It was the way it felt. Right and wrong all at once. Like it was something I was supposed to be ashamed of, but my body just didn’t care."

You swallowed hard, the weight of his words hitting you in a way that made your chest tighten. It was exactly how you felt – the rush of power, the satisfaction of feeding, mixed with the horror of what you had done. You had never wanted this, but it was like your body had decided for you.

"I didn’t want to stop," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. "I didn’t even think about it. I just… gave in."

Lee turned to you, his eyes soft but serious, and for a moment, you could see the weight of his own guilt mirrored in his expression. "That’s what it does. That’s what the hunger is." He paused, his jaw clenching briefly before he continued. "It takes over. And once it does… it’s like you don’t have a choice anymore. You just need."

You shivered, wrapping an arm around your stomach, trying to shake off the phantom feeling of the blood on your skin, the taste of it still faint on your lips. "I’m going to need it now,” you said, the realisation setting in. “How do I handle that?”

He exhaled slowly, and you saw the streetlights reflected in his eyes as they grew somewhat glossy. "You learn. Little by little. You get to know the hunger, learn how to control it instead of letting it control you. I will help you with it. You won’t do it alone.”

The tears you’d been holding back started to spill over, and you turned away, trying to hide your face. "I don’t really know what to do with myself now.”

He remained quiet, just held your hand tighter. 

For a long while, you just sat there, letting the silence and the weight of his words wash over you. The night felt vast around you, you realised now that Lee had rolled down the windows for you. Likely to help you breathe better. You should have known Lee would understand, because of course he would. Yet, there had been fear that he would be angry, disgusted. He wasn’t, not even a little bit. If anything, he was calm. Steady. Like this wasn’t something that could break you.

He built a little bit of confidence you, even as you felt your insides caving in.

The road stretched out ahead of you in silence, the dark trees a blur outside the windows. Lee was counting the miles until it would be safe to stop for the night, just a little bit longer. The truck was filled by spiraling thoughts from you both.

Lee had to stop himself from going down a rabbithole of blaming himself. Thinking that he influenced you, that maybe, if you hadn’t met him you never would have discovered this part of you. He wanted to hate himself, he wanted to break down, but with every glance over at you he knew he couldn’t. Your feelings were what mattered tonight. He knew he needed to keep it together to guide you through it. 

You had been crying on and off for the past hour, struggling with too many emotions at once. To process the assault and the intense fear you felt. Guilt consumed you, but not necessarily for killing the man, as you knew you had to, but then you felt guilty about your lack of guilt, and it was a never ending spiral. You felt horrible about feeding on him, about the discovery that you were an eater. When it was Lee it didn’t bother you, because, as you had come to realise, you just loved him. You know he is good. But you? That one was harder.

Then, your mind went to more practical matters. You had killed someone, feasted upon their body and then abandoned it. There were so many layers of illegal in those actions, and a new kind of fear and panic grabbed you.

Lee had seen these emotions develop in his peripheral, subconsciously speeding a bit faster, looking for somewhere safe to stop.

Your chest began to tighten, the panic from earlier threatening to bubble up. “Lee…” Your voice cracked, barely holding itself together. “What if someone finds out?”

He glanced at you briefly, his face unreadable. “They won’t.”

“But–”

“We’re not going back. Not to that town, not anywhere near it.” His voice was firm, cutting through your panic with the same intensity he had used earlier. “By the time they realize anything, we’ll be long gone. We’re already long gone.”

His words were meant to be comforting, but they didn’t settle the storm in your chest. You squeezed your hands together, spotting some leftover blood around your cuticle. You felt like you couldn’t breathe, like the air in the truck was too thick, too stifling. The man’s corpse was laying on top of your lungs and you were suffocating.

“Lee… I…” You gasped, scratching at your skin, your vision starting to blur. You couldn’t catch your breath, couldn’t think past the overwhelming guilt, the horror of what you’d done.

He called your name, but you couldn’t register anything anymore.

The truck swerved again as Lee pulled off the road, gravel crunching under the tires as he pulled up to a small clearing, hidden behind a stretch of trees. An answered prayer. 

He immediatley turned to you, his brow furrowed with concern, his voice steady but laced with urgency. "Hey. Hey, breathe. Sweetheart, I think you’re having a panic attack."

You tried to speak, but your words got caught and you were doubling over in the space that felt more and more confining.

In a swift motion, Lee had pulled you over the console and into his lap, opening the door beside him to let in as much air as possible. He held you securely, tight grip meant to ground you as he tried to talk you down.

With a hand on your cheek, he made you meet his eyes. "Look at me. You gotta breathe, okay? In through your nose, out through your mouth. Focus on me."

You tried, but the panic had taken hold, your mind spiraling out of control. "I killed him. I killed him, and–"

"I know," Lee cut you off, his voice soft but firm. "You did. But it’s fine. It is fine, you are fine. I know. But you’re gonna be okay. You’re not in danger. Just breathe. Please breathe."

His words didn’t allow for you to argue, quelling your disagreements before you could make them. He cupped your face, stroking his thumb along your jaw, and exaggerated his breathing so you could follow it. In and out. He was so close, his eyes locked on yours, and for a moment, all you could focus on was him. He was pulling you back from the edge.

"Breathe," he repeated, his voice a low murmur. "That’s all you need to do right now."

You closed your eyes, following his lead, trying to pull air into your lungs the way he told you. In through your nose. Out through your mouth. Slowly, painfully, the tightness in your heart began to ease, your breath coming in shaky but more controlled gasps.

When you opened your eyes again, Lee was still watching you, his hand still gently cupping your face, his thumb brushing away the tears you hadn’t noticed falling. "There you go." His voice barely above a whisper. "Just like that."

You let out a shaky breath, leaning into his touch, your body still trembling but no longer on the verge of breaking. "I’m sorry," you whispered, your voice fragile and raw.

Lee shook his head, his gaze softening as he looked at you. "Don’t be. You didn’t do anything wrong."

You wanted to argue, to tell him that you had done something wrong, something unforgivable, but the way he was looking at you – like you weren’t broken, like you weren’t some monster, made the words die in your throat.

"I’ve got you," he whispered, his forehead resting against yours. "I always got you. You’re good."

The weight of his words, the certainty in them, settled deep in your chest, pushing back the panic, the fear. You weren’t alone in this. You had Lee. You always had Lee.

You stayed like that for a while, just sitting in his lap in the truck, your breath finally steadying as the night stretched out around you. You didn’t notice how hard you were holding onto Lee, clutching his shirt and even some skin, but he didn’t say anything either. He just stayed beside you, his hands never leaving you, grounding you, pulling you back from the edge every time the panic threatened to take over again.

You breathed together. Through it all.

After what felt like hours, he finally spoke, his voice quiet but sure. "Let’s get settled down, okay?”

You nodded, too tired to argue, too drained to do anything but follow his lead. Lee helped you out of the seat, his arm steady around your waist as he guided you down. He went around the truck, gathering the blankets from the backseat, more than he would usually grab, and set up your usual makeshift bed in the trunk as quickly as possible.

Together, you climbed into the softness he had created just for you. It felt odd to do something so familiar when it felt like everything had changed. Lee had not, still watching you, as he leaned back against the cab of the truck. You pulled on one of his sweaters, settling in beside him. He tangled your feet together and grabbed your hand, but didn’t initiate more than that, expectantly waiting for you to process your thoughts out loud with him.

Your eyes were slightly glossy again when you whispered, "Thank you."

He shook his head, immediately softening. "You don’t have to thank me."

"I do," you whispered, your voice catching. "You didn’t have to do any of this. And you did."

Lee’s hand tightened slightly on your knee, his thumb brushing over the fabric of your pants. "Of course," he said, his voice low but firm. "You’re stuck with me, remember?"

A small, broken laugh escaped you, something warm flickering in your chest. You looked up at him, tears blurring your vision, but there was a kind of quiet relief there, too. Lee’s gaze was steady, unwavering, like no matter what had happened, no matter how far you had fallen, he was there to pull you back.

"Lee…" you started, but the words caught in your throat, too many emotions swirling inside you to put into words.

He seemed to understand anyway. Without saying anything, he angled himself more towards you, his forehead resting against yours. The closeness, the way his body pressed gently into yours everywhere, was enough to calm the last of your racing thoughts. You let out a shaky breath, your hands reaching up to gently hold his face, your fingers brushing through his hair.

For a moment, you just stayed like that, your breaths mingling, the world narrowing down to just the two of you.

"I’ve got you," he whispered, his voice so soft it was almost lost to the night air. "You’re safe."

Something in his voice, the way he said it, made your heart clench. He had never said it out loud, but you knew. He tipped your chin up, meeting your lips with a searing kiss, one that felt like promise. 

It felt like forever before he pulled away, far enough to be able to see your eyes, searching your face for more hurt to quench. You could see his bottom lip quivering slightly before he said it.

"I love you.” 

Life stilled in the small clearing, and the weight of the past year came tumbling down on you. All you had done, all that had changed. How painful it had all been. How worth it it all was, to be sitting here in this boy’s arms now.

You took him in, your breath shaky. His words hung in the air between you, raw and real in a way that made your pulse race. 

He smiled, understanding your reaction. His forehead went back to yours, his hands cradling your face gently, his thumbs tracing slow, soothing circles against your skin. There was nothing aloof about him now. He was all here, in this moment, focused on you like nothing else mattered. "I'm serious," he murmured, his voice soft, the vulnerability in it something you'd never heard before. "I love you."

Your throat tightened, grappling with the weight of it all. "Still?" you whispered, your voice trembling. 

His grip tightened slightly, pulling you closer, his breath warm against your lips. "You think this scares me? You think any of this changes how I feel about you?" His gaze was intense, a burning passion that steadied you, even as your heart threatened to tear itself apart. "You’re still you. This doesn’t make you someone else. So, yeah. Still. Always."

Your heart soared, a flood of emotions you hadn’t expected surging to the surface. You kissed him again, slowly, just lips pressed against lips as you tried to calm yourself.  "I don’t know what life looks like for us now.”

"Then we’ll figure it out," he said simply, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Like there had never been another option. “Part of the fun, right?”

He pulled away just to kiss your forehead and temples, lingering there for almost a beat too long before pulling back just enough to look into your eyes. "You're not alone in this. I’m not letting you go through it alone. Got it?"

You blinked back the hot, stinging tears that threatened to spill over. The calm in his voice, the unwavering certainty in his eyes grounded you like no else. It felt impossible, but here he was, telling you that you weren’t lost, that he wasn’t leaving, no matter what happened.

"I need you, you know," he whispered against your cheek, kissing it once more. "I don’t think you get that."

You let out a shaky breath, your fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt as you pulled him closer. You clung to him. "I do," you said, your voice soft but firm. "I need you, Lee. Desperately."

A faint smile tugged at the corner of his lips. "Then don’t overthink it." 

And before you could respond, his lips were on yours again, kissing you like it was the only thing keeping him alive. There was a quiet desperation in the way he kissed you, like every ounce of the feelings he couldn’t quite say were being poured into that moment. His hands cupped your face, pulling you closer, deepening the kiss as though he was trying to erase the space between you.

You kissed him back with the same intensity, your fingers tangling in his hair, your body pressing into his, craving the closeness, the connection. Everything else faded into the background, drowned out by the steady rhythm of his heartbeat and the warmth of his hands on your skin.

His lips left yours for just a moment, brushing against your jaw, then trailing down your neck, each kiss soft but deliberate, making your breath hitch. "I’m not going anywhere," he murmured again, the words muffled against your skin. "You’ve got me. No matter what."

You couldn’t find the words, so you kissed him again, your hands tightening in his hair, pulling him closer. He responded instantly, his arms wrapping around you, holding you tight against him as though he was afraid to let go, as though you might disappear if he loosened his grip.

For a long moment, the world was just the two of you. Nothing else mattered. It was just you and him, and the quiet understanding that you were in this together. 

When you finally pulled back, breathless, your forehead pressed to his, you let out a laugh, more from the relief of having him here than anything else. It made him give you a curios smile, just happy to see you regain some of your usual behavior.

 "So," you whispered, your lips brushing his as you spoke, "are you gonna say it again, or what?"

He let out a low chuckle, his arms still wrapped around you, his thumb brushing lightly over your cheek. "I love you," he said, his voice warm, no hesitation this time. "I love you. I’m not scared to say it, even if you make me say it a thousand more times."

"Good," you murmured, leaning in to kiss him again, softer this time, but no less meaningful. "Because I love you too. And I’m not letting you go."

A faint smile tugged at his lips, and he kissed you back, slow and lingering, like he wanted to memorize the feel of you against him. When you finally pulled apart, you were both breathless, his forehead resting against yours.

"We’ll figure this out," he promised softly, his fingers tracing idle patterns along your arm. "Whatever happens, we will be fine. Together."

You nodded, your heart finally settling, a sense of calm washing over you. "Yeah. We will."

And with that, the two of you sank down into the blankets, the night quiet at last. Lee’s arm stayed wrapped around you, his lips pressing soft kisses to whatever exposed skin he could find, as if he couldn’t quite believe that you were real, that this moment was real. 

As you lay there, tangled together, the world felt a little less terrifying. You had each other, and somehow, that was enough.

[corellianhounds]

The reason Mando does so many “side quests” is because he’s poor. He has to work for everything. He lives a self-sufficient life on the road bringing money back to his tribe to support them because Mandalorians aren’t safe and can only show their faces in town one at a time or they’re perceived as a danger because of how they look and what reputation is attributed to that appearance by many people. Almost every single episode has somebody picking a fight with Mando over the armor when he’s literally just standing there. He has to fight, scrap, save, barter, trade, and work for every single thing he has because the alternative is dying, or people he cares about dying. It doesn’t matter if it’s because they’re attacked or because they literally don’t have the money to eat, most of the Mandalorians we’ve seen live hand to mouth day by day, surviving out of sheer willpower and working together

Season 1 Episode 2: His only means of transportation (/place of living) is scavenged for parts and stolen in pieces. He’s forced to negotiate with the ones who took his stuff and do a job for them so he can get it all back before then having to rebuild the ship (when he shouldn’t have to trade anything for it to begin with)

Season 1 Episode 4: He wants somewhere safe and unassuming he can lay low with the kid and agrees to scare off some local bandits so he can have lodging. His original long term plan was to stay on Sorgan for a few months— He’s willing to fight the bandits and the Walker because that village was where he was given somewhere to eat and sleep and because he had intended to live there long term

Season 1 Episode 5: The hunter that found them on Sorgan forces him to acknowledge he’s not allowed to remain sedentary. He tries to go back to his old job, working as a bounty hunter for money; he and the kid can live on the ship, though it isn’t ideal, but he needs food, fuel, and immediate ship repairs. The betrayal of the gunslinger and confirmation from a target that word of him breaking the Guild Code has reached the literal farthest reaches of the Outer Rim solidifies that he can’t be a legitimate hunter anymore and that people who recognize him or the kid (or recognize them because they’re together) will be gunning for the reward, leading to—

Season 1 Episode 6: Mando going back to the only other life and means of making money he’s known, working shady jobs with criminals in the hope of receiving payment. The job proves even more unpredictable and dangerous than the last one and puts him back at square one again.

Season 2 Episode 1: Mando is a well-rounded character who’s been given an objective outside of just surviving to the next day. He only ends up in Mos Pelgo because he needs information, and he only agrees to fight the Krayt dragon because— as a well-rounded character— he’s promised culturally important relics of his people that he holds in the highest respect. The armor of a dead Mandalorian being given the proper respect (showing the honor he has for his people) is shown to be tied in importance with the kid. At least he’s given some food for the road because it’s clear he wasn’t being paid any money in addition to it.

Season 2 Episode 2: Chasing the barest lead on information about other Mandalorians forces him to take the dangerous passage he does; he only ends up having to survive the ice planet because of the threat of incarceration if he didn’t run. He’s not being paid in money here either AND his ship is literally barely holding together. If it was a horse he’d have to shoot it.

Season 2 Episode 3: Bo-Katan is his last lead on information about a Jedi. The child needs a Jedi teacher so he’ll be safe. By this point Mando is desperate and BKK forces him to do a dangerous job in exchange for information. He’s not getting any money this season because all of the jobs he does are in exchange for information and it’s a lot easier to manipulate and force people who need a favor from you to do whatever you tell them because you have something more specific than money they can’t get anywhere else. He doesn’t have enough money to cover a good fix of the Crest but doesn’t have anything to leverage against the mechanic who did a partial job for all the money he did have left, meaning—

Season 2 Episode 4: He has to call in a favor from a friend. Karga’s willing to cover his fuel, repairs, and docking fees, but oh Mando while you’re here I have this pesky Imperial infestation and since it’ll take a while for your ship to be repaired and you’re not busy…

Season 2 Episode 5: Now he’s finally found a Jedi. Now he may finally be able to give the kid to somebody who can protect him and teach him how to protect himself. Now the kid may finally be able to live a long, safe life, even if it means it can’t be with him. Oh right except this Jedi says she isn’t really a Jedi anymore, and also she’s kind of busy, but maybe she’ll think about it if you help her do her own thing in liberating a town—

Only for Ahsoka to then go back on her deal because she has her own thing going on. Considering how important the whole Thrawn mission is shown to be later, I’m not all that convinced she was ever going to take the kid as an apprentice. She may have been on the fence and maybe considered doing it if Elsbeth didn’t give any information up, but if the whole Ahsoka show was about her search for Thrawn, it’s obvious she has a lot more involvement in that than she’d be able to afford if she took the kid as her ward. The idea that the kid’s too attached to Mando for her to take him as a student seems like a pretty convenient excuse considering she knows this guy has zero clue about anything to do with the Jedi. It doesn’t matter if she’s right or not, she could have been upfront about having more pressing matters she was devoted to so he would have the option of not wasting his time there or doing a job for Ahsoka he wouldn’t be receiving payment or an exchange from.

And then the rest of season 2 is the bigger plot. Episodes 1, 3, 7, and 8 of Season 1 were the overarching plot.

Mando has to live life on the road in a dangerous and unpredictable galaxy doing dangerous and unpredictable jobs. He’s poor. He’s a survivalist. He’s desperate. He makes friends because interpersonal ties are often the only other form of currency he has, and those ties still often come with requests for favors or work in exchange for what they can do for him. Hardly anybody is giving him anything, and even when they do, he still feels obligated to pay them back.

[rottenaero]

AO3

Part 1

Part 3

Part 5

Part four of roommates idea

The officer clicked his pen again, signaling he took to long to answer. Steve faced him again, “Sorry I- Shit. Eddie he wasn't- he wouldn't do this shit. He's afraid of fucking dogs. Not even the real big ones either, he definitely wouldn't kill someone. He cries when he watches Bambi and gore freaks him out.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes! I'm absolutely-fucking-positive! He looks all tough and shit but he's not, he's just scared. Fuck that sounds- so bad but- God why don't you believe me and Wayne?”

The officer sighs, ”Eddie sold drugs, did drugs, it's entirely possible he had to many and did something…Not entirely in his regular character.”

Steve bit his lip, “He wouldn’t.”

-

Steve sat in the family video, he's been distant since the shift started and Robin couldn’t understand why.

That was, until the TV showed the news of a Hawkins student dying. Did he somehow know?

Not much later, Max and Dustin came in yelling about phones, and were quick to start using them.

Steve didn’t even seem shocked when they talked about Eddie being accused. When they finally got a lead about a ‘Reefer Rick’, his eyes lit up.

“I know where he is.”

-

“Hello?”

Steve looked around the boathouse, “What a dump.”

His eyes landed on tarp covering a boat, “Eddie?"

“Eddie, are you here?"

Now, Steve wasn't an expert, but that tarp looked a lot like it just moved, and if it wasn’t Eddie then-

He grabbed an oar that was leaning against the wall, and began poking it.

“What are you doing?”

“It moved.”

“So take the tarp off!”

Steve gave Dustin an incredulous look.

“If you're so brave, why don’t you take the tarp off!”

It was silent for a moment, then-

“…Steve?”

The man in question let out a relieved sigh, and smiled. “Eds!”

Steve drops the oar, a resounding clatter banging off the walls as he flings the tarp off the boat.

And there he is, Eddie Munson in all his glory, sitting in a fetal position and clutching a broken bottle to his chest like a lifeline.

As soon as he seemed to see Steve, he quickly threw the bottle to the side and stands up to step out the boat.

“Steve, thank fuck.”

Eddie engulfs him in a hug, pressing his face into his neck.

Steve bites his lip, “Hey, hey its okay.”

Steve slid them down carefully, positioning his back against a column. It was a bit awkward, with them being similar height, but he made it work.

“She- I didn’t kill her! I don’t, she started fucking floating. Then her limbs snapped, god Stevie, please you gotta believe me.”

He looked over to the party, Robin’s eyebrows were pinched, Max was darting her eyes between the two, and Dustin looked like he was about to say something.

Finally, he gathered the courage. “ Eddie, we believe you. What you saw, it’s been happening for years. Well, not this particularly but the supernatural.”

Eddie peeked his head out, “ What do you mean?”

Dustin crouches down awkwardly, hands together. “Theres another world. Its kind of like this one, but its terrifying. There are things there. Its called the upside down. We’ve been fighting it since 1983 when Will went missing.“

Steve feels him tense. “ ‘We?’ ‘Fighting?’, How do you fight an invisible force?”

“Demogorgons, demodogs, government people, russians. We’ve had to face them for years. Steve and I were there in 1983, Max in 1984, and Robin just joined in last year with the Russians and the mall.”

Eddie’s eyes widened, and he turned his head slightly to face Steve. “ Is that why you were so beat up last year?”

Steve shrugged, “ Yeah. Pretty much.”

Eddie burrowed his head into his neck again. “ Jesus H. Christ.”

“Look, we’re here to help you Eds, that murder in the trailer? They were asking me questions, they think its you. Wouldn’t let up on the idea no matter how much I insisted it wasn’t.”

Eddie looked at Steve with a mix of fear and gratitude, “What do we do? Can’t exactly waltz up and tell them it’s supernatural.”

Steve hummed, “We need to figure out what happened to that Chrissy, and clear your name.”

Max stepped forward, “We’ll help you, Eddie. We’ve faced worse than this.”

Eddie nodded, “Okay. Shit, we’re really doing this..”

Robin glanced around, “Not to interrupt or anything, but maybe we should do the whole story? Like, you guys didn’t even mention the super power girl, and shes like major isn’t she?”

The long haired metalhead nodded, giving Steve a squeeze before letting go and standing.

He turned to face Robin a grimace on his face, “ Right, yeah, full story. Super power girl, sure.”

Steve patted his shoulder, when did he even get up, and after a second, bumped him with his hip.

“Buckle up, Eds. This is gonna take a while.”

Tag-list

@bxlthazar @i-have-three-feelings

[morewonders]

One thing that does drive me nuts is when people say “oh I don’t even think Bucktommy fans have watched the whole show, if they had they’d know that Tommy’s not a good person and they shouldn’t want him with Buck, they only care about two white men kissing.”

First of all - so what, the planet is dying and shipping is not activism. And I say this as someone who has avoided a lot of major mlm fandoms because they were misogynistic as FUCK. But if you’re just here for two (canonically queer) men kissing and you’re not a dick to anyone about it in the process, great! Have fun!

But second of all…I’ve definitely watched the whole show, and rewatched season 2 very recently, which is the period of time that antis point to for why Tommy is an irredeemable piece of shit. And, no, Tommy did not get on his knees on screen and beg Hen and Chim’s forgiveness for his transgressions towards them. He never will. This is not that kind of show. But in all the Begins episodes, you do see Tommy mending fences with them to the point that they’re having drinks and shooting the shit outside of work. It’s implied that Tommy is one of the anonymous complaints that got Gerrard ousted the first time around. Hen gets him a cake to celebrate his transfer to the 217, something we’ve seen her do for other people she cares about. Two years later, Chim calls Tommy to help save Eddie with the water plane. That all happened on the show that we’ve all watched, well before there was any intention of bringing Tommy back as Buck’s love interest.

And when he is brought back in season 7, Bobby (Tommy’s captain for an indeterminate amount of time, but I’d guess at least a year) tells Buck that Tommy’s good people and good for Buck. There’s no hidden meaning behind it, this is not a subtle show. Buck’s father figure approves of Tommy courting him.

You can hate Tommy’s fucking guts, I don’t care. (Goes extra if you’re a person of color - it’s truly not my place to tell you how to feel about a character who has absolutely been racist and misogynistic, and if you don’t feel like the show has redeemed him enough for you, I get it.) But this condescending “well CLEARLY you’ve only watched season 7” ain’t it. We watched the primetime network procedural drama and took what it was telling us at face value, that’s all.

[winchesterwild78]

A Secret Love

Master List

Characters: Dean Winchester x Reader, Sam

Warnings: mention of death, angst, heartbreak

A/N: So this is gonna break some hearts….sorry. I’m writing a series about Dean surviving the rebar. This is just a one shot of Dean dying and the people in his life picking up the pieces. The reader is Dean’s secret girlfriend, and we find out some things even Sam didn’t know. 

I wrote this fast, please overlook any errors. 

All work is my own, don’t take it. 

Minors DNI 18+

The crisp autumn air was a stark contrast to the warmth of the cabin. Dean Winchester, the love of your life, sat across from you, his eyes filled with a familiar intensity. He'd come to visit, as he often did, but this time, there was a weight to his presence.

“Dean, when are you going to tell Sammy about us? We’ve been dating for 3 years now?” “Soon, sweetheart. I want to make sure he’s going to be okay. He seems to really like Eileen. I think she might be the one for him.”

“That’s great Dean, but what about us? I feel like I’m a dirty little secret or something. I’m not sure how much longer I can live like this. I love you, Dean, but if you’re not in love with me you need to tell me right now.” I took a deep breath, my heart pounding in my chest. "Dean," I began, my voice barely a whisper. "I'm pregnant."

His eyes widened in surprise, then softened into a tender smile. "Really?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. "Really, you replied softly" Your heart swelling with a mixture of fear and joy. Dean had always been protective, keeping you hidden from the dangerous world he inhabited with his brother, Sam. But now, with a child on the way, he knew he had to make a choice.

"I can't do this anymore," he said, his voice firm. "I want to be with you. With us. I want to get out of this life. I’ve always wanted to be a firefighter, and now with the baby, I want to be there to watch them grow up. I know with Jack in charge things could be different for us.” 

Dean stood up, pulled me close to him and kissed my lips. “I love you, sweetheart. I can’t believe I’m going to be a dad. I definitely think it’s time to tell Sammy.” You smiled, it was a drastic change, but it was clear that he was determined. I was overwhelmed with happiness. Finally, the two of us could be together without fear.

Dean spent the next few days with me. Sam thought he was on a hunt with another hunter, and didn’t press him too much. The days with Dean were filled with laughter, good food and good music. He loved to sing to me, and I loved to sit and listen to him. His voice had a calming effect to it, that I was sure would come in handy with the baby too. 

As day turned into night, Dean made love to me. Slow and purposeful, exploring my body like it was the first time. His hand and lips would gently run over my belly. “I love you, sweetheart. Let’s get married.” I gasped, “Really?!” Dean smiled, “Yeah, I want to spend the rest of my life with you and the baby. What do you say?” “Yes, Dean. I’ll marry you.” He pulled me into his arms and placed a feverish kiss on my lips. 

The last day Dean spent with me before he headed home was perfect. The two of us went and picked out an engagement ring, had lunch and of course pie, then Dean took me for a stroll in the park around the lake. As the two of us made our way back to the Impala I noticed Dean’s attention was elsewhere. I followed his gaze and saw the fire department. Dean had a twinkle in his eye and a grin on his face.

I smiled at him, “Dean, why don’t you go ask for an application. I’m sure they have one.” “Are you sure you don’t mind?” I touched his arm, “No, baby. Go.” Dean kissed my lips again and ran across the street. I saw him talking to some of the firefighters and he looked at me, grinned, and waved. When he finally came back, I could feel the excitement pouring out of him. “The chief wants me to put this in as quickly as possible.” “Dean, that’s amazing.” 

The next morning as Dean said his goodbyes, he promised he’d be back in a few days. I nodded, kissed his lips and told him I loved him. Dean pulled me into his arms, kissed my lips and smiled, “God I love you, Y/N. I can’t believe you’re mine and we’re going to have a baby. Sammy is going to lose his mind with excitement.” I smiled, nodded and kissed him one last time. “I love you, Dean. Come back safe to us.” “I love you too, Y/N, and I will do my absolute best.” 

As Dean drove away my heart clenched in my chest. I always hated when he had to leave, but I understood why. He had a job to do, a commitment to Sam and everyone else. Sometimes I wished his commitment to me was stronger. 

A few days later Dean sent me a text. 

Dean: Hey sweetheart. Got a job that is going to take some time. I’ll call when I can. I can’t wait to see you soon. I’m bringing Sammy with me so I can tell him about us and the baby. I love you. 

Me: oh okay. Be careful and I can’t wait to see you and Sam. We love you, Dean. 

Days passed and you hadn’t heard from Dean. I was starting to get worried, but if he was on an intense hunt he would sometimes go weeks without checking in. I sent him a text just to let him know I was thinking about him. 

Me: Hey handsome. Just saying hi and I miss you. I can’t wait to kiss your lips and be in your arms again. I love you, we love you. By the way, the baby is doing great. Healthy and happy. 

I sent an ultrasound picture with my text. I’d gone to the doctor and they checked on the baby and everything looked great. 

Dean: I love you too, darlin’. This hunt is brutal. Sorry I haven’t called or texted. Thank you for sending a picture to me. 🥰😘 I love you both so much. I’m glad they are doing well. I can’t wait to meet them. 

My heart fluttered in my chest. I was going to be a mother and Dean a father in a few short months. I was over the moon. 

The days stretched out into a week. Soon the week was almost two. Still no word from Dean. 

I finally decided to call. I called Dean's number, my heart pounding with anticipation. Instead of his familiar voice, I heard a stranger's. "Hello?"

“Oh um, hi. I’m trying to reach Dean. Is this Sam?" I asked, my voice trembling.

"Yes," he replied, his voice laced with a hint of sadness.

"Is Dean there?" I asked, as my heart sank.

"I'm afraid not, Who is this?" Sam replied. “Oh, I’m Y/N, Dean’s fiancée. I’m sure he’s planning on telling you. He was bringing you to meet me. We’ve been dating for 3 years. I know all about your lives, but he insisted on keeping me out of it.” 

I heard a sadness in his voice, “oh, yeah. Um I don’t know how to tell you this, but he died about a week ago." 

My world crumbled around me. I couldn't believe it. Dean was gone. And I was carrying his child. The pain was almost unbearable.

Tears fell from my eyes. My breath caught in my throat and I felt like I was under water, drowning. 

“What? What happened?” I asked through sobs. My heart aching with every tear that fell. It felt like there was a hole in my chest. 

Sam told me about the accident and the rebar that took Dean’s life. As he recounted the tragedy my stomach turned and I felt my heart breaking. 

I was mourning the loss of my beloved and the father of my unborn child. 

“I was trying to figure out how to get in contact with you. Dean told me about you and the baby as he was dying. He had written letters to people he loved in the event of his death. There is a letter addressed to you, and one addressed to the baby.”

I hit the ground sobbing. I’d lost Dean. Our future together, the plans we made were just gone. 

“Y/N, I’m so sorry. I want to drive out to you, Eileen and I want to meet you and bring you the letters Dean wrote.” 

I sat, still softly sobbing. “When?” I asked through hiccup sobs. “Whenever you’re ready for us to come. We don’t want you to be alone right now. You’re carrying Dean’s child, so that makes us family.” 

I cried harder at the sound of Dean’s name. “Dean” I whispered. 

Sam’s heart broke at the sound of my pain. He’d lost a brother, but he knew I lost so much too. Not only did I lose the love of my life, he knew my child lost their father and we lost the future we had planned. 

“Hey, Y/N, tell me where you are and Eileen and I will come get you.” Sam’s voice softly echoed through the phone. 

I gave him the address to the cabin and told him I needed to go. After I hung up I laid in our bed and sobbed. I grabbed Dean’s pillow and held it tightly. It still smelled like him. 

“Dean, please come back to us. We need you. God or Jack, whoever is listening, please give him back to me. Please. I’ll do anything. Please.” My pleas filled the room but were left unanswered. 

I sobbed louder. The sounds coming from me were unlike anything I’d ever heard before and definitely not from me. The cries were primal and full of anguish. I was irrevocably broken.

Exhaustion finally took over and I fell into a restless sleep. My dreams filled with flashes of the love Dean and I had shared, and flashes of a future void of him and his love. 

Around daybreak I crawled out of bed. My head was pounding and my eyes swollen and red. I managed to make something to eat and forced myself to eat it. 

As I walked around the house my heart ached more. There wasn’t a single room, a place that didn’t hold a memory of Dean. The couch where we shared our first kiss, the kitchen where we’d spent countless hours talking, cooking together, and dancing, and our bedroom, where our love created the life that was now growing inside me.

A few hours later a knock came on the door. I opened it to see a really tall man and shorter woman standing there, with soft smiles on their faces, but their eyes full of sorrow. Without a word the man pulled me into a hug. 

I collapsed in his arms, not caring who he was. As we pulled apart I saw the Impala. Dean’s car, my Dean’s car. This must be Sam, I thought. 

“Hey, Y/N, I’m Sam and this is Eileen.” I nodded and stepped to the side letting them come in. Eileen signed, “Nice to meet you, I’m so sorry about Dean.” I simply nodded as tears started to fall.

The three of us sat on the couch and Sam asked how far along I was in the pregnancy. My voice, small and weak, finally answered, “I’m about 2 months along now. So it's still very early.” Sam and Eileen looked at each other, “I know you said you and Dean had been dating for 3 years, but how did you two meet?”

I let my mind drift to the day I met Dean. A slight smile formed on my lips. “I was at the grocery store and I needed a dessert for a work function. I normally would bake it, but I didn’t have time to do what I wanted, so I decided to just buy a pie. I grabbed the last apple pie, but as I did I felt resistance. I looked up and saw this tall, handsome, green eyed man with a smirk on his face. I told him I was buying the pie, and he said “No, darlin’ I need this pie. It’s a matter of life or death.” I laughed and he laughed that deep, head tilting laugh of his. We talked and then we came back here. We sat for hours talking and eating the pie together. Then he kissed me, and I knew I was his forever. I never believed in love at first sight until Dean.”

“We’ve been together ever since. He kept me away from the hunting life to protect me. He didn’t want monsters or anything to come after me. Lately he talked about getting out of hunting. He wanted to be a firefighter, and we were going to raise this baby together. Before he left this last time, he asked me to marry him. We picked out my ring, and now he’s gone.” Tears began to fall fast.

Sam’s face contorted with pain and sorrow. He had no idea his brother had a secret life, one where he was happy and rid of monsters. Sam took a deep breath, “I remember that hunt we were on. He left to get supplies and pie, but was gone for hours. When he came back he had everything but the pie. He wore a smile I’d not seen in years. Now I understand why. He had met you. So, I guess these are for you. When Dean was dying, he told me to check the safe in his room. When I looked I found all these letters. One was addressed to you, and one to “baby Winchester”.” 

Sam handed me the two envelopes. A lump formed in my throat and I couldn’t breath. Sam touched my hand, “We’ll give you some privacy.” I nodded and they went outside. I sat on the couch and looked at the envelope in my trembling hands. 

The white envelope simply had ‘Y/N’ on it. The other one had ‘Baby Winchester’. My heart broke when I saw that. Dean wanted to be a father. He would have been an amazing father, now our baby would never know him. 

I turned the envelope addressed to me over and opened it. I took a deep, shaky breath and pulled out the letter. I saw Dean’s handwriting and read his final words to me.

Y/N,

Hey sweetheart. If you’re reading this something happened and I’m gone. This isn’t the future I envisioned for us. One where you’re alone and I’m gone. I know this time I won’t be coming back like I did so many other times, and that makes this worse. From the moment I met you, you know when you were trying to steal the last apple pie, I knew I wanted to be with you. I fell in love with you fast and hard. The hours spent with you, laughing, talking and making love were the happiest of my life. You became my refuge, my light in this dark world. I’m sorry I can’t be there for you and our child. Damn I couldn’t wait to see you walking down the aisle in that beautiful dress. I dreamed about the day you would officially become Mrs. Winchester. My wife, my partner, forever. I’m sorry sweetheart that you have to raise our child without me. Just know Sammy will be there for you and our baby. He’s going to be an amazing Uncle. Please sweetheart, don’t let losing me break you and your beautiful soul. Our baby needs you. I know it’s going to be hard without me, but I’ll check in on you and the baby from time to time. I love you so much, sweetheart. The letter for the baby, please read it when you’re ready, and make sure they get it too. There is still so much I wish I could say to you. I want you to know you’re everything to me. I never thought I was worthy of love, happiness or being a husband and dad, but you made me believe that I am. Thank you sweetheart, for loving me through all the flaws and darkness in my life. There are going to be days where you feel like you can’t go on, I’m sure that’s how you’re feeling now, but please know you are one of the strongest people I know. You can go on, I want you to. From the moment I slipped that ring on your finger you were Mrs. Winchester, and Winchesters don’t give up. Please keep Sammy close, take care of yourself and our baby. I love you both so much. Until we meet again, I love you and I’ll see you later sweetheart.

Love, D

The tears fell hard and fast. Sobs filled my body as I gasped for air. As I read his words I heard his voice, felt his strong arms wrapped around me, comforting me. The hole in my chest is a little smaller. Sam and Eileen came back into the house and sat down. Sam wrapped his arms around me and held me tight. 

“Y/N, I don’t know what your letter said, but Dean would want me to stay in your life and be an uncle to the baby. Eileen and I are moving to the area so we can all be together. We will be here for you every step of the way. You’re a Winchester, and having my niece or nephew. We stick together.” 

I touched my belly and thought about Dean’s words. “Thank you Sam. I think being around family is exactly what I need. Besides, this baby is going to need to know more about their daddy than I know.” I touched Sam’s hand, “Thank you, Sam and Eileen.” 

Sam smiled softly, “Of course, you’re family and family sticks together.”

Tags are open, if you want to be added, let me know.  

Tags: 

@nescaveckwriter @kr804573 

@k-slla @jackles010378 

@jawritter @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx 

@roseblue373 @cheynovak 

@jassackles  @chriszgirl92

@suckitands33 @arcannaa 

@n-o-p-e-never @ladysparkles78 

@smoothdogsgirl @hobby27 

@manicjk @stoneyggirl2 

@deans-spinster-witch @snowayumi 

@shadowqueen1318 @shanimallina87

@muhahaha303 @fitxgrld

@nancymcl @baby19sthings

@cheekygirl2309 @oceean

@kindollss @foxyjwls007

@lmg14 @cevansbaby-dove

@spxideyver @reignsboy19

@deans-baby-momma @deansimpalababy

@ladykitana90 @quietgirll75 

@superrey @kamisobsessed

[princessofgotham777]

Dating Jason Todd (Part One)

fanfic type: angst, fluff, comfort (ongoing)

If you liked the Titans show but wish they handled Jason’s story line differently you might like this fic!

Hey so this is in fact my first time writing fanfiction (idk what my life has come to). Sorry if it’s cringy but also I would eat this up cause I LOVE some good angsty comfort fanfiction. I won’t write smut. I don’t think I’m gonna do requests but if you have any ideas feel free to let me know. Also of course I don’t own any DC characters this is purely fanfiction. Although I’ve had tumblr for a bit I’m not really used to posting stuff so sorry if I don’t format everything well. Thank you and I hope you enjoy. (I hope you like run-on sentences💀) (if you don’t like it don’t be rude just move on dude😃🧍‍♀️) also pls excuse my grammar.

So story line, this doesn’t really take place in any specific universe but I’m gonna be pulling concepts from Titans, The Batman, Under the Red Hood, and whatever lore I remember from the CW shows cause I grew up watching those, then just my imagination of course. The beginning takes place when Jason is still Robin but he’s no longer apart of the titans. Reader is referred to as she/her btw.

Warnings: talking about death, suicide, depression, torture (it’s not graphic I hate gore it’s just sad)

Part One: Back To The Tower

“Babe? Babe!” You opened your eyes at the sound of Jason’s voice. His green eyes normally looked at you with gentleness but currently they were alarmed. Scared and scary are two things Jason normally does a good job at keeping separate, but when someone threatens his whole world the two merge to create someone dangerous to everyone, including himself.

“What’s going on? Are you okay?” You asked.

“We’ve got to go, Dick called… he thinks joker is after me for some reason…I’ll explain more on our way to the tower.” Jason quickly grabbed the go bags you two had made in case something like this were to happen. He used to think having go bags was you two being paranoid but you always knew dating a vigilante would have its ups and downs.

You knew he was serious when he walked straight past his bike and headed to your car instead “Jason, slow down,” you said as he swerved around cars. He knew you hated speeding and he so he never dared do it, also because he liked not dying in a car crash.

“I’m sorry, so you know how joker has been leaving notes around Gotham?” He asks as he drives a bit slower.

“Yeah why?” You answer quickly.

“Dick called me two hours ago and said they think they’re threatens to Robin, threats to me.”

“Shit, what does joker even want with you?”

“I have no idea maybe I’m a pawn in some game he’s got going with Bruce or Dick or the titans or maybe he’s just decided I’m the next victim in his reign of fucking torment,” Jason’s voice shook slightly. You could tell he was trying to keep it together while driving; trying to keep it together infront of you. You two had been through so much together: he’d been the one you turned to when you left home, you two had been apart of titans together, he’d rescued you from poison ivy once, you talked him off the roof of the tower. You two knew each other better than you knew yourselves. Even after everything he still had a hard time voicing his emotions and honestly you did too.

“Why’d you change the fucking password asshole,” Jason said to Dick through the security camera at titans tower.

“More importantly why’d he change it and not tell us?” You said. Jason’s arm was around you, his leather jacket was a familiar feeling against your skin.

The tower brought back many memories for both you and Jason. You remembered painting your nails with Rachel while Gar and Jason tried not to burn down the kitchen. Late nights when you’d find Kori or Donna and ask for their advice when you first noticed yourself falling for Jason. They thought you were crazy of course but it all worked out, so far anyway. You remembered the first time you’d been to the tower when Dick took you in. Dick introduced you to the titans but it was Jason, who you only knew as Robin at the time, who saved your life and called Dick. Another memory you unfortunately recalled was the time after you guys got Jason back from Deathstroke. You hadn’t known pain till you saw the way he winced at the slightest touch or loud noise. Then there was his fall…your mind refocused when you saw Dick.

“Hey lovebirds,” he said with a grin.

“So what do these messages say exactly,” you said.

“Always so serious,” Dick says. You simply glare at him and he stops messing around. “Right so over the past few days there have been notes around Gotham in seemingly random places, each one is just some nonsense about circuses and birds so naturally it’s about Robin. They talk about the flying boy and encounters him and I have had he then goes on to talk about me becoming nightwing. The rest is disturbing stuff about him “wanting to pick off the feathers of the new little bird to reveal the horror inside”,”.

“Right…so seemingly random places?” Jason says.

“Yeah so, the first was found spraypainted on the stage of a highschool in Gotham, the next was spray painted on a random wall in an alley and the third was on the door of this bar…” Dick said.

“Shit,” Jason said.

“The highschool and the alley,” you said softly to Jason.

“And the bar… it’s the one my uncle took me to,”

“Someone wanna explain the significance to me,” Dick said.

“They’re places from my past,” Jason said. “The highschool I lived in, the alley I boosted the Batmobile in and the bar my uncle took me to.” You all simply stared at eachother waiting for someone to break the silence when Rachel, Gar and Kori came rushing in.

“Oh my God what are you doing here?” Rachel asked pulling you in for a hug.

“Wish I could say just to see you,” you say.

“Hey man what’s the special occasion?” Gar asks Jason.

“Unfortunately the occasion is another psycho trying to kill me,” Jason replied.

“Wait is that true? Dick is this about the joker?” Rachel asks. Dick looks at Jason who nods.

“Yes, we think joker knows Jason is the new Robin and is threatening him,” Dick says.

“No offense but isn’t this more Batman’s territory?” Kori says.

“Normally yes but he’s off doing Justice League bullshit,” Dick says.

Everyone gets comfortable and Dick explains what we know.

“So we know the notes reference Dick, Bruce and Jason but I think there’s a fourth person here,” Kori says.

“Is joker just referencing himself?” Gar says.

“I don’t think so cause…” Jason stops himself.

“Cause what?” You ask him. He doesn’t answer.

“Jason what is it what’d you find” Dick asks. Jason simply gets up and starts to walk away. Naturally you get up and begin walking after him.

Dick grabs your arm, you glare at him and he lets go, “hey let me go see what’s up just keep picking apart the notes with the others.” It was the Dick you knew, loved, and were annoyed by. The camp counselor anything is possible with teamwork Dick Grayson, the version of him which would soon have to step aside.

“Jason!” Dick says when he finds Jason in his old room which looks exactly the same. Jason doesn’t reply he simply grabs a bag and starts packing. “Going somewhere?” Dick says. Jason still doesn’t reply. “Hey, what the fuck!”

“You aren’t stupid Dick you read the fucking note,” Jason says.

“Maybe I am stupid cause I have no fucking idea what you’re talking about.”

“Jokers not threatening me, he’s challenging me…telling me to meet him. And he’s threatening y/n saying what he’ll do if I don’t go find him.” Jason says.

“Shit,” Dick says. “Okay but all you’re going to accomplish by going by yourself is pissing me off, getting your shit rocked by joker, pissing Bruce off, and scaring your girlfriend to death all of which I’m gonna have to fix so could you not be impulsive for once!”

“You don’t think she’s already scared!” Jason says.

“Yeah I do but I think you’ll make it worse if you leave her here,”

“She’d be safer here far away from Gotham and far away from me,” Jason says.

“Hey dipshits,” Kori says as she turns the corner. “Yeah I can read too,” she also seemed to have figured out the note “So why don’t you I don’t know, include her in the conversation about what to do about the threats that are against her?”

The three of them return to see you, Gar and Rachel sitting in silence, it was clear you guys had also figured out the full message. Jason doesn’t get a chance to even fully enter the room before you get up and pull him back into his old room.

“What were you thinking not telling me?” You say.

“You didn’t sign up for this shit,” Jason says.

“I did, and I don’t just mean with you I joined titans before I even knew your name.”

Jason hesitates before saying, “you’re right, I’m sorry”

“Apology accepted so what the hell are we gonna do,” you say slipping out of your serious tone.

“First question, do you wanna go out there and work with everyone or just keep this between us,” Jason says.

“What do you wanna do?” You asked. It was clear you wanted to include the titans in the plan. You knew Jason has a complicated past with everyone in the other room but you also knew despite his own feelings he’d do whatever would keep you the safest. He hugs you softly, one last act of humanity before completely focusing on being Robin. You and Jason were fairly new to the world of having a secret identity. You both tried to keep the two personas completely separate but at the end of the day the person under the mask always has the final say when hard decisions need to be made.

The plan everyone agreed on was simple. You’d stay at the tower, with Gar and Rachel far away from Gotham and the joker. Tomorrow morning Jason, Dick and Kori would drive to Gotham and work with Barbra to catch joker. If only that were actually how it went.

You’d fallen asleep in your old room with Jason by your side, around three am you woke up and he was no where to be found. “Jason?” You said as you looked around the room. The light was already on so you could see perfectly that he was gone. Jason must’ve turned the light on when he left, he knows you hate being in the dark alone after what you went through with Poison Ivy. “Dick!” You yelled as you ran down the hall to Dick’s room. To your surprise Dick was wide awake busy on his computer.

“Y/N, what’s going on?” Dick said concerned.

“Jason’s gone.” You said.

“Fucking idiot,” Dick mumbled under his breath. He began typing quickly on his computer. “He got rid of his tracker didn’t he?”

“He cut it out ages ago,” you said frantically. Jason had vanished but both you and Dick knew exactly where he was going; he was going to face Joker alone in Gotham.

Please like if you enjoyed the fic I need to know people like it otherwise I’ll stop posting new parts (I have a whole storyline idea and backstory so like if you want to see more)🩷

Here’s my Masterlist so you can read the other parts.

Masterlist

[hsr-texts]

find your cinderella

꒰‧₊˚✩彡‧꒱ ┊ ━━━━ prologue

꒰⸝⸝₊ʚ♡ɞ ┊ streamer!reader x mystery hsr character ꒱

꒰⸝⸝₊ʚ♡ɞ ┊ otome event ꒱

꒰ ☰ WORD COUNT ┊1.4k ꒱

꒰ ☰ DESCRIPTION ┊ ━━ When you do an unboxing livestream for your subsribers, you find an invite to an exclusive event called the "Find Your Cinderella" masquerade gala where you are guaranteed to find your supposed true love, as a rather enthusiastic manager told you. ꒱

꒰ ☰ NOTES ┊HIII omg you guys THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE SUPPORT!! Getting 1k followers is so crazy for me because I've never had a blog be received with this much love and support before so I've decided to make an extra special otome game style fanfic! ꒱

“Guys, look! The package just came in!”

You rushed into your studio, holding a sizable metal box. Inscribed on the sides was a logo of two masks, resembling a certain Aeon. Placing it down on the floor, you gave a sigh of relief. “Aeons, that was heavy!”

Your eyes glanced at the live chat and saw all the messages, curious about the package.

“Seems like you guys are more excited than I am,” You couldn’t help a small chuckle leaving your lips. “It took me quite a lot to get a hold of this limited edition package from LumiPro. Like, do you guys know how much it cost?”

A few comments popped up trying to guess the price.

You shook your head. “100,000 credits.”

The chat then flooded with shocked emotes and comments. It was more than a fair reaction. You found yourself silently thanking the stars that your current occupation as a streamer granted you a steady income. Otherwise, you probably would’ve had to eat the same type of cup noodles for months.

“Anyway!” You clasped your hands together. “Let’s open it up already! I’m dying to see what’s inside. What could possibly warrant such a steep price?”

Your index finger pressed on the button at the top and heard a voice.

“Vocal identification. Please state your name.”

You uttered your name. It was a good thing you added an auto-censor to your setup so that any sensitive information that could get you doxxed would be redacted in the stream. You didn’t want stalkers showing up at your home after all.

“Permission granted.”

Faint clicks of metal against metal could be heard as the mechanisms worked to unlock the box. A hissing noise came from it as the lid opened. You watched, feeling anticipation and eagerness bubble within your chest.

A hologram was projected from the box, showing a person wearing professional attire. They smiled.

“Thank you for purchasing from Luminous Productions. We’ve curated a package that we believe would be of most use to you. For further questions, you may contact support on our site. We hope you enjoy it to the fullest.”

You took a peek and gasped at the sight. “Guys, oh my god, they just gave me a new PC!”

They must’ve done their research because you did mention in your stream a month ago that you were looking for a better PC.

The chat seemed to be as excited as you were, knowing this meant you’d be able to go back to your regular streaming schedule.

You could tell this was a real high end PC after seeing the graphics card and CPU model. Not only that, but it came with a new headset, keyboard, and mouse. You took out the stuff and gently placed them on the floor, letting the viewers see it.

After noticing that there was more in the package, you rummaged around for the other objects. Your hand made contact with some sort of fabric so you pulled it out.

Your eyes widened as you realised that it was a fancy outfit. Upon looking, you could estimate that it was your size too. Was this tailor made?

“Holy shit…”

It seemed like it was for a real special occasion, not even just your run-of-the-mill party that regular people go to. This outfit would probably fit right in with a red carpet event for rich folks or celebrities. Well— One may say, “Hey, aren’t you a celebrity too?” but you weren’t cocky enough to claim the same status as those with inter-galactic levels of fame.

A slip of paper fell out of the outfit’s pocket and you turned to see what it was.

You squinted in confusion. A ticket…? After picking up, you couldn’t help but notice the holographic shine to it first. How pretty.

“Find Your Cinderella Masquerade Event?” You mumbled in confusion. Who was Sugo? You couldn’t recall knowing anyone that went by that name.

Suddenly, the screen flickered for a moment and a new window popped up next to your stream.

A person showed up, wearing what you could only describe as a pink clown outfit that somehow combines cuteness and gaudiness in one. They grinned at you with amusement.

“Heya to all those viewers watching at home!” Even the way they spoke seemed to have a theatrical ring to it. By the way the chat was going insane, the people watching the stream could also see them.

“My name is Sugo and I’m the event organiser of the Find Your Cinderella Gala, or the FYC Gala for short,” they introduced themselves with a flourish. “Pleasure to meet you.”

“Uh… hi?” You didn’t know how to respond. This was quite a bizarre experience to have someone hijack your stream to introduce themselves. Was this legal…?

They chuckled. “Yeah, sorry for the sudden appearance but I figured that it would shake things up a little. I’m sure your dear fans appreciate having two exciting things happening at the same time. You can bet that this’ll go viral too~”

“Right… So what exactly is this Find Your Cinderella Gala?”

“Glad you asked, dear anomaly!” They beamed. Eh? Why were they calling you anomaly?

“See, I’m doing a collaborative project with LumiPro. I proposed to them a large-scale event with celebrities from all over the galaxy, which would be broadcast to every streaming platform out there. The premise is simple, all attendees are there to find their one and only, their true love, their Cinderella, you get the idea.”

“So it’s a speed dating event for rich people?” Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. It sounded like a stupid idea. And yet, a part of you was intrigued.

“Right on the money! What a clever streamer, it’s no wonder you got such high compatibility ratings with the other attendees~”

“A what?”

Their eyes gleamed with amusement. “So, we didn’t just pick the celebrities at random. I bet you’re wondering why a small time streamer is getting an invite to such an exclusive event, right?” They tilted their head, leaning on their desk.

You nodded slowly. It was still a mystery to you why you’d be invited when there are far more famous people in the galaxy.

“Behind the scenes, we’ve been developing an advanced algorithm that can find your best match in a group. How it works is that we pick a participant, feed it available information on said participant, then it calculates how well the person would get along with those within the group,” they explained, “What’s interesting for your case is that your average compatibility score with the group is 90%. Most folks that got tested only came up with a 60% average compatibility rating.”

You raised an eyebrow at this in skepticism. “Don’t you think that’s just a bug or something?”

They shrugged. “It could be, but we’ve done several tests and it always came out the same. We were hoping to add you in to act as an outlier to our pool of data.”

“So I’m just a guinea pig for your weird little experiment?” You gave them an unamused look.

“It’s just to see if your results were really true or if it was just a mistake on the algorithm’s part.” They shrugged. “I’m sure it’ll be a fun time for you regardless of my motives. A win win for all parties involved, don’t you just love that kind of thing?”

“I guess but doesn’t this come with strings attached?”

Sugo whined. “Ughhh, you’re gonna make this way less fun if you go in already knowing what you’re getting!”

“What kind of sane person would do something without knowing the full details?!”

A groan came from them. “Booo, that’s so boring! Life needs a special surprise factor that keeps things fun and interesting.”

They sighed after. “But fine. If you’re so skeptical, then I can throw in a 500,000 credit compensation if you end up not enjoying it. So even if you do lose, you still gain something!”

You stayed silent, trying to figure out if this was really worth the trouble of dressing up and going to a party.

“Anyway, that’s all the information I’m contractually allowed to give out. It’s your choice whether you want to go or not.”

“Can I have some time to decide this?” You asked them.

Sugo nodded, smiling in amusement. “Of course! It’s not good for a show to spend too much time on exposition, after all. Let’s give the player some time to shine, hm?”

“I have no idea what you’re saying.”

They giggled, ignoring what you said. “Bye bye! I’ll see you at the gala!”

Their window disappeared, leaving you with your viewers again.

You sighed. What a strange person. Did you really wanna go? It’s not like you had much to lose. Plus, you would be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t want to find out what that compatibility rating was all about.

“What do you think, chat? Should I go?” You turned to the screen, waiting for their input.

[bnhaobservation]

My two cents about chap 426

Hum... maybe I should call this my SIX cents about chap 426 because I'm gonna look at that chapter from three different perspectives.

The first is the Doylist one, in which I'll try to discuss what I think Horikoshi meant with what he represented in the chapter. I'm not Japanese and I might be wrong so take everything with a grain of salt.

The second is the Watsonian one, in which I'll focus on the story itself.

The third... is watching the chapter not keeping into consideration the chapter as a story filled with Japanese culture aimed at Japanese readers but as if it were a story that follows my culture and is aimed at me. This third analysis is here because there's actually a huge cultural clash between how many scenes would look to a Japanese audience and how they look to a person of my culture.

It's food for thoughts about how different cultures can see the same things differently and, while I'm a western, this doesn't mean I expect allt he western to feel the same as there are plenty of countries in the west and while they've similar views... they still can be different among them so it's fine if other westerns would read the chapter in an even different way.

Also this is not meant to be a compaint at Horikoshi or a critic to Japanese culture, just an acknowledgement different cultures see things differently.

Of course you can choose to skip to read one of those three parts if it doesn't interest you.

It's up to you.

Said so let's start.

Doylist commentary: So I’ve already discussed in a previous post how normally, the general attitude of a family would be to dump Touya to his own devices… so, as to prove the Todoroki instead are there to see Touya because they care about him, we’ve the opening discussion in which it’s clearly said not only they are all there but also that they aren’t there merely for a sense of duty. It’s Horikoshi’s roundabout way to say the family CARES.

By the way Fuyumi, Rei and Natsuo got a haircut. While it's obviously due to the hair burning cutting off hair in ancient Asia (Japan, china, Korea & possibly some other Asian cultures) used to symbolize being banished or rejected from their home (which fits with how the family is kind of a social pariah) but currently, cutting long hair into a short cut means to forget the past, leaving the old and starting anew (which might fit with how the family is starting a new life).

So I think Horikoshi also kept this into consideration when he had them cut hair.

We aren’t told where they are but it’s probably either a Villain hospital (they got mentioned in the Overhaul arc)...

...or just a prison as the guy in the room is dressed in a way that’s similar to the guards that were in Tartarus.

Touya is in a medical contraption which looks like a coffin as the guard explain he’s slowly dying.

He looks terrible, Horikoshi even got rid of his hair, which Touya had instead kept through the whole battle. He looks so bad (there are even nails that, I guess, hold still his head and what seems to be mechanical contraptions  around his jaw and neck, never mentioning the restrains that hold his body still… though we can’t see anymore the cables that were visible in the previous chapter… guess Horikoshi retconned his previous design…) some readers have compared him to a Cenobite. For who has no idea what a Cenobite is, they’re characters from the Horror movie “Hellraiser”, extra-dimensional beings who are mutilated and brainwashed into torturing humans for all eternity. Likely the visual look is to sweeten the pill that Touya is meant to die. In such a state it will seem cruel to keep him alive.

The announcement Touya is about to die is likely meant for the readers, not for the family, as they probably already know, hence not only there’s no reaction from them but this is also meant to be Horikoshi’s attempt to clue the readers in the fact we’ve to let Touya die.

His family has no hope he’ll survive and it’s doing nothing in this sense which is also a way to tell us we’re meant to deal with it... and Horikoshi likely chose this as this is the most ergonomic solution for Touya's ending.

Japan has death penalty, and fighting so that Touya would survive, only to sentence him to death for his crimes afterward, would be counterproductive for the story as it would only stretch it and make it sadder.

I’m pretty sure Horikoshi thinks letting Touya die on his own is a good compromise.

The following talk between Touya and Enji is a mean to conclude both Enji and Touya’s arcs.

The remark that Enji always meant to retire is here to tell us it’s not just because he can’t fight anymore, so he’s forced to. You might remember Enji himself said ‘Endeavor’ died back when he woke up in the hospital at the end of the first war.

The fact Horikoshi also had Enji’s body being basically destroyed (along with Fuyumi and Rei getting scarred) is part to show the consequences of their mistakes, part to symbolically have the family also share what Touya went through (when he burned himself over and over).

We’ve a lot of close up on eyes, to go back with the theme of looking, of how Touya only wanted for his father to look at him and how he’s been looking at him the entire time.

There’s another visual good reason why Enji is on a wheelchair.

When Enji says he’ll come to talk with Touya, Horikoshi represents Touya as standing, dressed as Dabi and with the scars Dabi had prior to his reveal but with Touya’s hairstyle. Visually it’s to tell us both identities have merged. Touya isn’t dead… but he’s no more just Touya, Dabi is part of who he is. His arm is missing but HE IS STANDING, he’s not trapped in that contraption. Enji is also represented without bandages or burns… but he’s still seated on a wheelchair. This forces him to look up at his son, while Touya looks down at him. Even though now Enji isn’t saying sorry, his words and the visual imply this is also an apology to Touya, even if Enji already said to him he was sorry after the end of the fight.

This is BIG in Japan so in this way Horikoshi makes the scene more emotional.

Now… previously Touya didn’t want to talk, he wanted to be seen by Enji. His catchphrase was ‘look’ not ‘hear’ (as this chap itself remind us).

He was desperate to show his father what he can do. In chap 390, moments before Shouto saved the day, Horikoshi introduced the idea he wanted to talk with his family.

It wasn’t a bad idea, first of all because now he’s not in the state to show much, so either Horikoshi were to kill him short after he almost blew up Japan, or they wouldn’t have much to watch now. Introducing the idea he wanted to talk as a way to ‘translate’ his ‘I want to be seen’ gives them something to do with the additional time they’ve with him and could be considered foreshadowed by the times Touya tried to talk with his family and they didn’t really listen to him. So the idea that seeing him could also be done by talking with him works.

It’s also an extra attempt to make clear to the readers Touya’s soul will be soothed/saved even if he’s going to die (I’ve discussed how this might be important for Japanese readers while it often falls flat to western readers in another post).

Horikoshi also kind of give closure to the Touya/Shouto narrative. By giving them the same favorite food he draws a connection between the two siblings.

The reminding of their fight isn’t just here to remind us of how the battle. What Touya said before that bit was they shared the same blood but were really different. Now instead he’s shown Shouto has something in common with him, something good and nice like a shared taste for a certain food. This denies Touya’s words that they run in parallel but forever apart and with Touya apologizing to Shouto, in a single blow Horikoshi ends the feud between the two siblings as well as giving Touya the chance to do what he wanted to do when he woke up in the orphanage, apologizing.

It can also be that this little exchange was something Horikoshi long planned, as for a long time he had kept Touya’s tastes hidden in his profile so that he could reveal it here.

I know there had been wondering if Touya’s tears are real (hence either his tear ducts regenerated or he lied previously) or bloody or something else. I think the whole point of it according to Horikoshi is that Touya, who used to cry a lot as a kid (and whose tears eventually almost killed him as the fire at Sekoto Peak started from them)...

...then became unable to cry.

Touya was (almost) killed by his own pain and desperation and once he was forced to not show it... well, this also lead him to become a Villain.

The message was not that he wasn’t suffering anymore, but that he couldn’t express it anymore (which is not a good thing)… with Horikoshi going for alternative ways to show him being in pain (his losing blood the hair die dripping  from his eyes and so on) that you would notice only if you were paying attention, in short ‘looking at him’.

Now Touya is being looked at and can express his pain as well, though this time is a bittersweet one.

So I don’t think the idea is we should ask ourselves how he can cry, and if it was a lie he couldn’t, but just enjoy the message.

It’s bloody tears? Is he magically able to shed tears again? Or it’s just a symbolic scene? Repeat the MST3K Mantra and just enjoy the fact he’s finally capable to express his pain and WHY because it’s hugely unlikely we’ll get an answer on the why (though maybe the anime might show if they’re bloody tears or not).

Horikoshi gives less space to the closure of the Rei/Touya and Fuyumi/Touya narrative, just having them tell him they want to talk with him.

I think Horikoshi considered the Rei/Touya narrative closed when he had Rei apologize to Touya. Yes, Touya said he wanted to also apologize to his mom, but I think the idea is that Touya’s apology to Shouto is meant to work as a reminder Touya wanted to apologize so Horikoshi doesn’t feel the need to show us that scene.

As for the Touya/Fuyumi narrative… Horikoshi hardly paid it any attention. The only interaction we see between the two of them prior to disaster striking has a 3 years old Fuyumi telling him she doesn’t want him to get hurt, which lead Touya to claim she doesn’t understand. When Fuyumi shows up on the battle ground she fundamentally say something similar by claiming she can’t bear to lose anyone else.

However Horikoshi might have meant for the closure not be her words but her actions. Fuyumi accepts to get burned in order to try to save her family parallels how Touya got himself burned to try to get his father to see him, they both burned because they couldn't bear the pain of not doing anything.

Long story short the reason why Horikoshi hardly give space to Rei and Fuyumi might be that he thinks he had closed their narratives with Touya already.

If, Enji, Rei, Fuyumi and Shouto were all the Todoroki family members I’ll say that the story of the Todoroki family has definitely ended with this chapter. Don’t take me wrong, there’s plenty of things I would wish to see them do and say with Touya, but Horikoshi might feel he had them say all that truly mattered and leave the rest to the readers’ imagination.

However… there’s still the matter of Natsuo.

This chapter mostly seems to close the Enji/Natsuo narrative, but not the Touya/Natsuo one.

In fact it’s noteworthy how through the discussion the only one who said nothing to Touya and tried not to look at him is Natsuo...

and the only moment Natsuo is shown looking is the moment Touya close his eyes.

There’s basically zero interaction between the two of them.

Now… I don’t blame Natsuo for failing to help his brother when he was solely a child of 8… but the story did. The interaction we were shown had Natsuo dismiss an already crying Touya, causing him further grief. In two chapters (302 & 388) Horikoshi has Natsuo thinks if he has talked to Touya or heard him out it would have made a difference.

Now though, Horikoshi leaves him silent.

There’s more.

I know there’s plenty of people who is cheering on the idea Natsuo won’t meet Enji anymore, which seems also how Horikoshi closes the Enji/Natsuo narrative … but this however indirectly means Natsuo won’t meet Touya anymore. Touya can speak with people only few minutes per day and Enji will be there all the days. This means there’s no time for Natsuo to meet his brother outside of the time his father will also be there.

Either the closure to the Touya/Natsuo narrative is that the two will never meet again (so they won’t have a chance to talk again and reconcile) or we’ll get another interaction between Touya and Natsuo.

Since Horikoshi raised a point previously that implied the importance of Touya and Natsuo talking, to me it feels a bit weird he would decide to go this way.

Let me be clear again, this is not about denying Natsuo the possibility to decide he’s furious with his brother and doesn’t want to see him anymore. This is about Horikoshi tossing in previously the idea it would have been important for Natsuo to talk with Touya and him regretting not doing and… then having him not do it again. While it’s a legitimate choice for Natsuo to make, in terms of story writing is kind of an odd choice… especially because Natsuo’s words seem to imply he’s trying to leave the past behind (even the visual places him ahead, in front of his family which is behind him)…

...which again, fair choice, but there was a whole narrative in the story about how the past doesn’t die so I’m not sure why Horikoshi would want instead let Natsuo go this way.

So I think it’s possible we’ll get another Touya/Natsuo interaction… which might include a Todoroki family/Natsuo interaction as well. Maybe Natsuo will bring his girlfriend to meet Touya. It would make a good chance for her to be introduced to us readers as well before the end as so far we only caught a glimpse of her.

On another note Horikoshi apparently has this chapter ends the narrative of Enji’s atonement.

No, it doesn’t mean Enji has finished atoning, just that he has find his way to atone.

Enji is taking responsibility for how his actions caused what Touya did (taking responsibility was something he refused to do before) and now he’ll spend his life protecting his family. It’s a compromise of the narrative Heroes hurt their family to save others. Enji is trying to do both so this narrative is also in a way closed by having a Hero who tries to do both.

Natsuo says responsibility has been taken and punishment dished out…

‘........ Shōjiki sekinin wa hatashita to omou batsu mo uketa to omou… mō ī nja ne ̄ no?’

「........正直責任は果たしたと思う　罰も受けたと思う…もういいんじゃねーの？」

“...Honestly, I think responsibilities have been taken and punishment has been received... isn't it enough now?”

…Enji continues to say he’ll keep on taking responsibility and try to protect his family (and therefore their future). This was what he had assumed was the duty of the Number 1 when he had talked with All Might so that discussion comes to a full circle as well. He faced Touya (aka accepted to dance with him in hell) and will keep on protecting the future of the people and his children by trying to protect them by the scandal/sparks/fiery fallout.

What’s the scandal/sparks/fiery fallout?

Many wanted Enji to be legally punished for the abuse he forced his family to undergo… but that’s not something Japanese society really cares, that’s viewed more like a personal family matter between all the Todorokis… and none of the Todorokis is asking for legal compensation that’s why Horikoshi won’t have Enji be put under trial.

What society blames THE WHOLE TODOROKI FAMILY for (yes, even Shouto even though he hardly had a part in this) is being the family that gave birth to Dabi who was among the ones who went at war with the current society (again, I’ve talked about it in a past post). It’s legally not a crime to have a child who became a criminal… but Japanese society will give you hell for it, hence Enji wants to protect his children from this and take the whole blame on himself.

Horikoshi likely means for THIS to be punishment for Enji’s mistakes (along with the death of ‘Endeavor’ and the damage his body suffered). As Natsuo said THIS WILL BE HELL (at least in theory) so it’s not like Enji is supposedly getting off lightly.

However a foreign reader might miss it because we don’t really get to see the ‘hell’ part. Shouto is in class A who’ll protect him (normally they won’t, Shouto would be ostracized at best, bullied and forced to leave school at worst), Natsuo’s girlfriend is still willing to marry him (normally she would dump him), Fuyumi had to leave her job but she was immediately helped find another one (normally her chances to be hired by people who were to know who she is would be 0) while all of Enji’s sidekicks and Kurumada are there to support him (normally they wouldn’t want to support him) and Hawks is there to support him too (and the story forgot about how Hawks too was involved in a scandal as the fact Hawks is the son of a criminal is a big deal too, even if Hawks’ situation is better than the Todoroki’s). The hell part is a given for Japanese readers so Horikoshi doesn’t feel the need to show it but he shows only that it won’t be only misery.

There’s also something else here. By remarking how things will be fine for the Todorokis because they’ve people supporting them, Horikoshi clearly means to underline the importance of having people supporting others. In the story those who had support always managed to handle things in the end no matter how hard they were, so it’s likely this what Horikoshi is stressing.

Two words about Nagant and La Brava and Gentle.

As I’ve said in a past post, contributing to the fight against AFO was going to be the way for Villains to get forgiven for their crimes. It’s a recurring trope in manga and it works in real life too so I’m not surprised Horikoshi presents them as they’re all pardoned.

The only downside I see in this is that by representing Nagant as okay to stay in prison he forgets how he represented Tartarus as a place where violation of the human rights was an okay thing. Yeah, his idea is probably she was moved and placed in a better prison but still, the narrative has kind of washed away how Tartarus was terrible in more than one situation (prisoners like Stains were first shown to be kept tied all the time but when there’s the escape they’re all free and La Brava said being put in jail was beneficial for Gentle).

Horikoshi clearly let everyone cover up how the Commission jailed Nagant for the wrong crime and it’s not presented as something bad. Revealing it is avoided because it would create chaos and distrust again so the story now only place Hawks, a person who means well, in charge of the commission and this is all the insurance the Japanese audience need to know things from now on will go on well.

It’s possible the idea is also Hawks’ narrative has ended. He lost his Quirk which in a way saved him as it was due to it the Commission took him away from his mother but also it was due to it he became the Commission’s lapdog and now he sits at the top of the commission. He’s basically free and can use the Commission’s power to make a better world. As I said it seems Horikoshi cut short the whole scandal part which regarded Hawks to close his narrative in a positive light.

In a way it almost seems there’s a clash in how the Todoroki family narrative involves the scandal being still alive while the Hawks narrative just let it go. In real life society would probably still give Hawks hell because in Japan you’re just not supposed to have a relative who’s a criminal.

In the story though, while the Todoroki family was held accountable for what happened with Touya (Touya was stated to be the Todoroki’s family sin and hence Shouto had to deal with it), Hawks wasn’t hold accountable for what happened with his parents so Horikoshi gave him a free pass thinking his readers wouldn’t mind (just to make clear I DON’T HOLD HAWKS ACCOUNTABLE FOR THE FACT HIS FATHER WAS A CRIMINAL… but Japanese society often thinks differently).

Hawks is even missing the cut Himiko gave him on his cheek as it apparently left no scarring (or Horikoshi forgot it).

So this might be the last we see of him… unless Horikoshi is going to address him a little more due to the Hawks/Jin/Himiko narrative. Will he be involved in sparing a Villain’s life instead than urging Heroes to kill them or killing them himself? We’ll see. I’m not taking him wanting to get Nagant out of jail as an answer to this as he was supportive of Nagant previously as well. Long story short it’s possible we’ll see more of Hawks but it’s also possible that’s all we need to see.

Lastly, the scene with Shūichi at Central Hospital is clearly meant to imply the next chapter will address his narrative.

We know Midoriya was meant to bring to him Tomura’s last words. Shōji might drop a visit as well to talk about Heteromorphs and ways to cope about discrimination or he might want to talk about the future of Heteromorphs. On another note, Horikoshi might remember in his world building he has decided who carries more than one Quirk, unless it’s All for One, will have a shorter lifespan (remember Hikage?) so he might be planning to tell us Shūichi, who now has three, will soon die of old age. Killing him too like it was done for Tomura, like it will be done for Touya and, possibly, like it was done for Himiko (unless they saved her) is ergonomic as it spares Horikoshi from telling us  Shūichi  will be jailed and sentenced to death to give us a tamer ‘he accepted 2 Quirks from AFO and now he faces the unavoidable consequences’. Not that it makes me happy but we’ll see.

So here ends how I think Horikoshi wanted us to read this chapter. I’m not Japanese, I might be wrong as I might have missed some cultural clues but I like to hope I was, at least, close enough. I think for Japanese readers it will be an emotional and fulfilling chapters and they’re probably going to enjoy it a lot.

Watsonian commentary:

So as I expected the Todoroki family is gone to see Touya. This seems the first time they see him, but since he seems to be in some sort of Villain hospital it’s possible it took time for them before they were being allowed to see him. That or for a while Touya was in coma or something like that because yes, some of the Todorokis might not have been up to see him immediately after the fight but some others weren’t so bad.

Of course there’s the possibility they preferred to wait for everyone before going there but I prefer to think they either had to wait to be legally allowed or that it was Touya who previously couldn’t see anyone.

Touya is in some sort of contraption… but the most it’s doing is keeping him alive a little longer as we’re told he’s slowly dying. This tube in which he’s put in is more like a coffin than the one in which Tomura was put in and it can be conveniently placed horizontal and vertical. To allow Touya to talk with the others they put him in an horizontal position. It’s worth to mention the room Touya is in seems dark and, anyway, the others can’t be in the same room as him, they see him through a glass.

The family is composed and calm despite being told Touya is about to die, Touya, seeing them there is sarcastic, pointing out he’s not a tourist attraction. He’s keeping distance from them, even though they all came to see him during the war and now, his words point out how he doesn’t seem to believe they came there for him, that if they were to be there it would be because they thought to find some ‘amusement’ in seeing a tourist attraction.

It’s a jab meant to hurt, as they never looked at him before and the little they did previously came too late… but it’s also possibly a hidden plea to point him wrong. Touya wants to be seen.

Enji fundamentally tells him he succeeded in killing ‘Endeavor’ and in having flames that are way hotter than his own.

Touya insists it’s too late, that Enji is playing nice now when it’s all over and that he’s being a coward.

While Enji agrees with him, now he keeps on staring at him and takes responsibility again. Midoriya has said Touya wasn’t Endeavor so Enji couldn’t be blamed for his actions but Enji takes blame for them anyway.

He says something interesting here.

‘Dare ga nanto iou to........ Omae no honō (netsu) wa ore no HELLFLAME da’

「誰が何と言おうと........　おまえの炎（ねつ）は俺の『ヘルフレイム』だ」

“Whatever people try to say… Your flames (read: heat/rage/mania/madness/passion) are my Hellflame.”

This seems a nice way to also call back how Touya said that the fire inside him was lighted by Enji and wouldn’t go away… as well as a nice tie with how Touya thought he was in hell and invited Enji to join him. Enji’s rage/madness was passed down to Touya, burned inside him and became Touya’s rage/madness. Enji is no more telling him to just forget and move over, he’s accepting Touya couldn’t.

We see Touya’s eyes squeezing a little, even if he’ll hardly talk through this chat and we hardly can see clearly his emotions his eyes tell a story of their own.

Enji acknowledges it’s far too late but promises he’ll spend the rest of the time Touya has talking with him. In short this time he’ll be there for him, he’ll pay him attention. Touya says nothing but his heart speeding up shows he’s affected. Enji encourages the rest of the family to do the same and encourage Touya to tell him whatever he wants, even if he hates him, which is a repeat of what he told him once they managed to stop him. Fuyumi and Rei also say they want to talk with him but Touya closes his eyes.

For once he won’t be looking at his family, though more likely the reason isn’t he doesn’t want to see them but that he’s just keeping his emotions bottled inside.

Natsuo instead says nothing and this is the first time he looks at his brother… though he has an uncertain expression. It seems as if Natsuo hasn’t quite decided what to do with his brother. His last words to Touya were a scolding… but also moved by how Natsuo felt guilty because in the past he didn’t listen Touya.

In the past Natsuo used anger to hide his pain so back then Natsuo probably used it to hide his sense of guilt. In a way he’s similar to Touya and Enji. Now though… he seems uncertain, he probably hadn’t come to term yet with what had happened.

The family is told to leave and return tomorrow. I guess they’ll be allowed free access. Shouto though still wants to ask Touya about his favorite food but, at first, he gets no reply either, Touya’s eyes still close, while Natsuo turns away his face. It’s when the family is about to leave and Touya is lying down in that dark room he finally replies, telling Shouto his favorite food is Soba, which Shouto confirms also being his favorite food.

It’s meaningful Shouto is the only one who got his brother to reply to him in a somewhat normal tone… even though Touya needed to do it once he was kind of hidden by everyone’s sight… or that he did it  when he thought everyone was leaving as if to say he didn’t really want that.

That tiny word is Touya accepting to talk with them peacefully, but, more importantly, with Shouto. His family has tried to reach out for him, and, of all of them, he reacted to Shouto’s question. It’s probably also Touya’s way to make peace with them. He had hated Shouto, he had said he wanted him dead but now… he’s starting from him to talk with his family. And the fact they have in common something, their own favorite food, makes everything even more tragic because those two siblings could have gotten along, they had things in common, if they had been given the chance they could have gotten along and loved each other just fine but… now it’s late and they’ve only a short time left.

Touya cries when he hears Shouto, like him, loves Soba, he’s finally able to see his brother not as someone way too different from him for him to connect to Shouto but as someone likes him and this allows him to apologize to Shouto, even if the visual seems to imply Shouto didn’t hear him as it was done when Shouto was already out of the building… or at least that’s the impression I get from the images.

As said before, apologizing is a BIG DEAL in Japan so this matters a lot more than it would in the west.

Once they’re outside what’s probably some sort of Villain hospital, Natsuo says he’s cutting bridges with Enji and won’t see him anymore. By default, this means he won’t see Touya anymore either, as Touya can get visits only for few minutes at day and Enji promised he’ll go there all the days.

Likely it’s not just for all he said in past chapters when he admitted being angry with Enji and feeling bad when he sees him.

Touya is a criminal and his whole family, but especially Endeavor as he’s a public figure and a Hero, is held accountable for this. Touya has made a video for the purpose to make sure society, who would have already normally blamed his family for Touya’s actions, had even more incentives to blame Enji. As Natsuo himself said, what expects them after what Touya has done is hell. Society will hold them accountable as if they had agreed to what Touya did.

Cutting bridges with Enji (and Touya) is a common way for many criminals’ family members to try to escape the social hell that await them.

You might notice Natsuo said:

‘Kanojo to seki iretai-shiki wa agenai shōkai mo shinai.’

「彼女と籍入れたい式は挙げない紹介もしない」

“I want to enter in the family register with my girlfriend, but we won't have a ceremony or introduce each other (families).”

In Japan all the family households (basically defined as married couples and their unmarried children) have a family register, also known as koseki (戸籍). The words Natsuo uses imply he’s registering himself in a Koseki that already exists, not that he and his girlfriend are starting a new Koseki.

Now, from what I could understand, generally you start a new Koseki when you marry or when you become independent…  Natsuo isn’t married yet and, although he said he doesn’t want to see Enji again, he didn’t make clear if he wants to become economically independent. It would be difficult as people would be unwilling to hire him and he hadn’t finished university yet (Fuyumi had to leave her job and could find another only because someone supported her).

It’s still possible Natsuo wants to ask for his own Koseki but I think part of what Natsuo want to do is to register himself on his girlfriend’s Koseki so as to take her surname.

Changing Koseki and surname will help him distance himself from the Todoroki. Differently from his mother and sister Natsuo has no facial scars marking him. If he manages to sell himself for someone who’s not a Todoroki he might escape hell.

Natsuo then asks Fuyumi what she plans to do as she had to leave her job. I think he wants to know if she has a plan to escape hell too… but while Fuyumi confirms she has lost her job, she says she has found another thanks to a person who helped her and it’s clear Fuyumi doesn’t plan to cut bridges with her family or Touya. She said she wants to talk with him after all.

Natsuo claims he believes responsibilities have been taken and punishment has been received... asking if this isn't it enough. To Enji it’s not.

He states he’ll be making amends and apologize for his sins for the rest of his life.

‘Okashita tsumi no baishō to shazai o isshō o kakete tsudzukete iku. Mite inakute ī. Kodomo-tachi (read: omae-tachi) ni furikakaru hi no ko o dekiru kagiri ore ga uketomeru, ikinobita imi ga aru to sureba sore dake nanda.’

「犯した罪の賠償と謝罪を一生をかけて続けていく。見ていなくていい。子どもた（おまえたち）ちに降りかかる火の粉をできる限り俺が受け止める、生き延びた意味があるとすればそれだけなんだ。」

“I will continue to make amends and apologize for the sins I committed for the rest of my life. You don't have to watch/look after me. I will take upon me as much of the sparks/damage that will (try to) falls on the children (read: you) as I can, and that's the only meaning of my survival.”

As said before, apologizing is a big deal in Japan and what’s more Enji wants to keep on doing it and making amends and therefore taking responsibility when, previously he had always avoided doing so and pushed responsibility on others. Natsuo remarks again it will be hell but, although Enji agrees with him, he also says he accepted it because he accepted to dance in hell with Touya.

‘Ā DANCE no sasoi o uketande na.’

「ああダンスの誘いを受けたんでな。」

“Yeah, I was invited to the dance.”

He has changed a lot from where he started, to the point even Natsuo, who’s the one sibling who has the lowest opinion of him, acknowledges it.

‘… Hajimeteda yo otō-san no koto kakkoī tte omoeta no.’

「…初めてだよお父さんの事かっこいいって思えたの。」

"...It was the first time I thought my dad was cool."

This sentence from Natsuo means MUCH more than it might seems like as it’s the first time Natsuo refers to Enji as ‘otō-san’ as he previously only used ‘anta’ (“you” in a kind of rude/angry way) or ‘Endeavor’ to talk with him. Now he calls him ‘otō-san’ which you can translate as father/dad, but it’s much more respectful than the ‘oyaji’ Shouto uses.

Basically, even though Natsuo is cutting bridges with him, with this sentence he’s acknowledging Enji as his father for the first time. The first time Natsuo yelled at Enji, Shouto said he wanted to see which kind of father Enji could be. I’ll say the idea is that now he’s the sort of father they can appreciate.

Shouto assures everyone he’ll be fine too as he has the people in class A to support him so he can become the person he wants to be. The Todoroki children leave and we see that Endeavor’s sidekicks as well as Kurumada are there to wait for Enji and Rei. I take that means they’re back together. Enji receives also messages from Hawks, who’s worried for him.

Basically, even though the Todorokis are supposed to be in hell, each of them has people supporting them (Natsuo has his girlfriend, Fuyumi the mother of one of his students, Shouto has class A, Enji and Rei Endeavor’s sidekicks, Kurumada and Hawks) so things will be fine because they’ve people supporting them (in this story who didn’t have people supporting them broke down and ended up a Villain and prey of All for One).

We move to Hawks who’s likely the youngest president of the commission and would like to free Nagant but now, differently from when she escaped, Nagant is all for staying in jail so that she won’t be exploited again. Well, she worked for the Commission and by AFO but… well, the Commission exploited her because they caught her when she was really young… but AFO… he hired her and she said she agreed to work for him because she believed the resulting world would be better. So he used her but I wouldn’t say he exploited her unless the idea is he blackmailed her into agreeing… which it’s possible but wasn’t shown. I’ll be honest, I’m probably losing some sort of clue about Nagant’s narrative post her meeting Midoriya because her actions after meeting him never quite felt that smooth. It’s probably me but, due to this, I’ll leave this part of the story as it is and focus on Shūichi who’s not in a Villain hospital but in Central hospital even though he’s a Villain bedridden and in a poor shape. With three Quirks he might end up dying soon of old age but I don’t know if the story will refresh our mind with this detail.

Shūichi is likely about to meet Midoriya and, possibly, Shōji, maybe with Kōda. I don’t think the ones who followed Shūichi till Central Hospital then changed their mind will drop to say ‘hi’.  I do not look forward to this part. Midoriya had to tell him Tomura’s final words, which, I guess, will be sad and emotional.

As I wasn’t a fan of the Central Hospital arc I do hope it’ll be only Midoriya who’ll visit him because I do not look forward to a retake of that arc. I think that arc is another thing that cause a huge cultural clash but, while this chapter still managed to have good point the Central Hospital arc felt even more distant from me and I’ve no wish to resume it. Still, we’ll see.

A not-Japanese person (aka me) commentary:

I’ll refresh everyone’s mind again. This is a commentary done as if I had not the slightest idea of how Japanese culture works and were reading the story SOLELY through the lenses of my culture… and I’ve to say this is one of the chapters in which the cultural clash is more evident and reading it merely through the lenses of my culture brings me really far from Horikoshi’s intended message.

It’s not here to criticize Horikoshi, it’s just food for thoughts that shows how the same scene can be interpreted very differently according to which lenses you use to look at it. If this is not your cup of tea, just don’t read it.

Now… I’ve said how, in Horikoshi’s intention, the first discussion is meant to show that the family LOVES Touya and that they aren’t there for a sense of duty. To Japanese readers I think it works wonderfully. Ironically, if this were a story placed in my country it would have a different effect. Opposite to Japan in my country is a given they would go to see Touya. All that talking about not having to go there (when it would be normal to) seem to drive home the family thinks NO ONE cares about Touya. Yes, Shouto would then set things straight but you’ll get a really different impression than the one the author intended.

The scene with Touya being held in that tube gets even more horrifying as we often would let inmates who’re about to die go back home so that they can die in their home, with their family, especially if they clearly aren’t in the shape to escape. What’s more the family wouldn’t just leave, as Touya is about to die they would want to remain with him even if he just were to sleep.

The Todoroki family is very composed, very calm, they don’t need to show their pain or their love because in a Japanese mind setting just the fact they’re there and want to talk with him proves it… but since here it would be a given we would need it to be more grief stricken or the family comes out as cold.

We don’t have death sentence. The fact that the family isn’t scrambling to try and find a way to keep Touya alive in such a Quirk world (with Garaki indeed saving him from a similar situation and him surviving for 10 years) again feels as if they don’t care about his survival, as if they thinks it’s more convenient if he dies.

So what for a Japanese audience is meant to work as a way to let Touya go, here gives out a very different vibe… we would have needed Touya to die on the battlefield, before medical aid could be carried to him to accept this.

Touya’s initial mockery, his refusal to talk afterward and his last moments with Shouto instead work here too and are emotional enough.

I wouldn’t expect Enji to face legal punishment for what he did to his family not because we consider it a private family affair but because… he should have faced it ages ago. When little Touya started burning himself at the tender age of 3, the family would be put under scrutiny. They couldn’t let him under vigilance. When Shouto was burned, this would worsen. When Touya would be assumed dead there would be for sure legal consequences. If Enji hadn’t faced it back then, my conclusion would be the BNHA world doesn’t care about all this and won’t lift a finger to protect children (never mentioning the time to make a complaint would be expired). If the idea is that Enji covered things up back then, then the characterization would break down when he would admit things, making it bad writing so yeah, I would just expect the BNHA world to be built to not care to punish such abuse… but the story to criticize it by punishing Enji with his physical disabilities.

Continuing on this… yes, I would be in the camp of ‘just an apology isn’t enough’ because in my country saying ‘sorry’ isn’t that big of a deal as in Japan and wouldn’t even begin to cover it. Combined with how Enji isn’t fighting to save Touya’s life nor improve his condition but he’s saying he’s just willing to talk… it feels he’s doing too little.

Natsuo’s narrative would feel concluded even with Touya. Deciding not to see him nor his father again would feel okay, and since we wouldn’t really hold Touya’s siblings accountable as much as in Japan, Enji’s idea he’ll protect them from the scandal wouldn’t feel like the big deal it is in Japan.

The sidekicks’ narrative would feel... weird. Horikoshi showed them as supportive of Enji in previous chapters because he was a great Hero despite his family situation. There was no real criticism for how he handled his family but in such a setting it could have worked because they were focused on the war. Now that the war has ended the fact they all brush away Enji’s past without having a chance to be critical to it (even if only to say ‘you did terrible but now you’re trying to fix it so okay’) would reinforce the idea of a messed up theme in which for people is okay to abuse people. Yeah, I guess we might fill the blanks assuming they confronted him in a scene we didn’t see because they aren’t really important but it still would feel weird.

The same goes for Hawks, who doesn’t plan to reconcile with his abusive parents but never felt discomfort at how it was Enji’s neglect what caused Touya to do what he did, nor showed sympathy for Touya.

I won’t really dig much into why Japan and my country handle this matter differently, because the difference was established long ago, it’s just that we would have kept on expecting that Hawks’ lack of reaction didn’t mean he was okay but merely that the whole thing was being postponed so it would be confusing when, even now, it wouldn’t be addressed at all, while for the Japanese narrative is clear there’s nothing to address.

Now… remember when I said in Horikoshi’s intentions showing us that the Todorokis will be fine because they’ve support is to remark the importance of support and that he doesn’t show the struggle of the Todoroki being in hell because it’s a given for Japanese readers?

Well, since for my culture it wouldn’t be a given, all that would be seen is the Todorokis not having troubles at all… and their life being made even easier because they got so lucky they accidentally met up with people who would support them. The importance of support gets dimmed by the fact the hardship isn’t really shown much but is supposed to be taken as a given (to be fair we see a little of it, but it’s easy to miss it), and them having support as well just make things seem even easier for them.

Something else worth mentioning about Hawks is that for us the scandal wouldn’t be so much that he was the son of a criminal and hid it, but that he killed Twice… and the press probably even recorded that he said to kill the Twices again. The problem is… here the police is not really allowed to use lethal force (I’ll go for Heroes paralleling the police) unless it’s a life or death situation.

In Japan it’s exceedingly rare the police will use lethal force but… they can do it in the event that a person who is actually in the act of committing, or is suspected on sufficient grounds of having committed, a violent and dangerous crime which is subject to the death penalty or life imprisonment does so much as TRY TO ESCAPE. Bubaigawara was escaping yes, but he was a dangerous criminal and Hawks said he had no choices and so it makes it fine. So basically for Horikoshi this narrative was likely kind of closed with Hawks’ press conference and him apologizing for not managing to find a better way to handle things. It makes it to the news because it’s supposed to be rare… but not because it’s wrong.

Yes, generally the police is investigated if they kill someone but since the police in BNHA was aware of which danger Twice represented it’s no surprise they shrugged it off. And Hawks apologized which, as said before, is a big deal in Japan so to Japanese fans this narrative is, by now, long closed. The same instead wouldn’t work for people of my country.

Nagant’s narrative feels weird to say the least as not only she can’t decide to remain in jail when she’s told she’s allowed to get out but I would expect the situation to be investigated as she ended up in jail for a crime she didn’t commit instead than the one she did. Of course this would means to put the commission under investigation as well instead it seems like all is being hushed which I would totally take for corrupt government. Hawks being a person who means well wouldn’t be reassuring because he’s covering previous crimes.

So that is. This would be my reaction if I were to analyze BNHA from the lenses of my country’s culture. As you can see it would give off a very different vibe because since we’re different for us things would need to go differently to get the same message.

THIS IS NOT A COMPLAINT TOWARD THE STORY HORIKOSHI WROTE.

It’s just accepting if Horikoshi makes a story that’s strongly tied to a specific culture (his own Japanese one) people from a different culture who might not be aware of how things work in Japan, will perceive what he says differently. Which is fair, many of us will be handed off the manga without additional cultural notes that help us to understand it the way the author wanted us to understand it. Some stories aren’t meant to work in the same way through all around the world and, as a result, this might cause them to feel ‘bad writing’ in some countries just because the message they want to deliver ends up not being understandable by everyone.

I still think it’s worth to read BNHA even though I just can’t get the same warm feelings Japanese readers get from this ending. I like to think I understand what Horikoshi is trying to deliver (I might be wrong) but it feels more like cold understanding after rationalizing things than an immediate emotional response. It’s very interesting for my curious mind so again I don’t regret in the slightest reading it but… it’s not equally emotionally satisfying. But well, that’s me, if you managed to find it working perfectly well than that’s great!

[its-phi]

okok obx4 part 2 spoilers !!!! like major so don’t read this until after you’ve finished or are okay with spoilers but it won’t make sense for you i don’t think.

i need to rant here bc no one i know has finished it.

i feel like this season , despite having some amazing moments, was just a bit lacklustre in a lot of areas. the relationships seems off and i feel like there was a massive disconnect between part 1 and 2. im going to go into more detail below.

so the things i really enjoyed:

- episode 6 had some of the best cinematography i’ve seen in a tv show in fucking ages! they way they included everyone’s reactions in the court scene whilst still focusing on jj was incredible. and then the scenes following that where the riot took place was so amazingly done i loved it

- i LOVED that we finally got to see jj actually let loose the way they described him in all the previous seasons. like we’ve obviously seen him act out and let loose but the raw emotions that jj produced was insane. he went full loose cannon and i for one fucking loved it.

- i really did appreciate the rafe and sarah reunion and i enjoyed seeing rafes character development (at the hands of sofia might i add). to see how she was the only one bringing him food on the boat and the small smiles they shared before the actual reunion, like when her and jb told pope and cleo about their pregnancy and she smiled at rafe. loved it.

- knowing that kie and her parents are at least on speaking terms made me really happy! and seeing her dad stand up for jj with the cops made my heart smile. they could finally see that just bc they might not like kies friends does not mean they aren’t amazing people that have so much care and love for each other.

- i am intrigued to see how they all deal with their grief and how the revenge plot pans out. i think there is going to be some emotional turmoil between jb and kie bc i have the feeling that jb holds kie partly accountable for jj’s death and i’m interested to see how they work through that.

okok now onto my anger with this season bc there’s a lot of it…

- we will start with the obvious here… jj. look i know there is so much speculation and assumptions surrounding rudy leaving or being written off the show and i’m not going to comment on that for the most part bc we will never know the truth. BUT i do think they didnt handle it the best either way. jj hated being alone and for the pouges to bury him in the desert… idk doesnt feel right. (yes ik logistically how could they bring him back to the obx? idk they have done more fucked up shit)

- the disconnect between part 1 and 2 was STRONG for me at least. it just felt really separated and like we just got over some major plot points in the characters between the two. like jj was having a major identity crisis and then we just kinda moved on. and i know is a pretty fast paced show especially with the amount of moving around they do but like huh?

- (this is a big one for me so strap in) THE RELATIONSHIPS OMG! they felt so off this season as a whole. and i don’t just mean romantically. i know it was to kinda set up jj’s death but the way all of the pogues had this significant drift between them and jj just felt odd and not like them. romantically speaking, jiara was lacking majorly. you’re telling me they had barely any physical interaction but they are meant to be together? it just didn’t feel right. if you’re with someone, especially someone you’ve known for as long as they’ve known each other, even with being less physical people, you’re going to hug and kiss and hold on to that person when they are dying or injured or even just going through everything jj was. didn’t like it. wanted more jiara scenes ( especially seeing them alone and how they interact when it’s just them. THE PREGNANCY TROPE? REALLY? after sarah was so visibly uncomfortable when jb brought it up previously… and i know it’s common when you lose a character you fill it with someone else but like what the fuck. it’s rushed and it’s so cliché. and it’s predictable. even without jj making that comment about naming their kid jj, it’s obvious they are going to honour him with that. cleo and pope are gorgeous and amazing and i love them. my only complaint is i want more cleo. she’s too stunning to not have more screen time. I WANT CLEO BACKSTORY IN DETAIL PLEASE.

- despite the feature episode and the part 2 episode being longer it still felt kinda rushed and like they were just skimming over things quickly. like i wanted some dialogue between jj and gr**f about luke and the abuse jj experienced but oh well ig. (i’m upset)

anyway, im kinda bummed with this whole season. i will watch season 5 but i’m not going to be anywhere near as excited. jj was such an integral part of the show for everyone but for me he really tied things together. the interactions all of the pogues had with him really made it so enjoyable and kept the lighthearted, teenager thing alive for me. like without him it’s gonna be hard to remember that they are still young adults that just want to have fun and live their lives to the fullest.

please discuss your thoughts and if you have any differing opinions let me know! i love hearing everyone’s thoughts on it all and am so open to discussions about it all bc at the end of the day it is just a tv show but it’s also so much more to so many people.

love you all

[thunderandsage]

arcane, shipping and “word of god” within queer readings

tldr: “word of god” vs “death of the author” through the lens of jayvik

so first of all, here’s linke’s now-infamous reaction to jayvik:

first of all, there’s the classic mistake of conflating asexuality with aromanticism (they can and do overlap, but having one does not automatically mean the other)

to be clear: asexual viktor is not a bad concept. i’ve seen arguments for and against it that bring up valid points (there’s also the question of whether it’s a stereotype to make the disabled character asexual, but i’m not disabled, so i don’t really know the fine details of that debate?), but the questionable thing here is that it seems to have been brought up specifically against a jayvik interpretation

aside from this i’ve seen twitter screenshots floating around where it looks like linke is arguing with people about jayvik? idk—

sigh.

i’m not even going to get into this.

ironically, and unfortunately for linke, a piece of media the fans drew an immediate parallel to is the ending of the magnus archives with two of the main characters jon and martin dying together to save the universe, and they are both a canonical couple and jon is explicitly confirmed to be ace within the universe by dialogue between characters

amanda overton, luckily, is a breath of fresh air:

the first part of what overton says is similar to linke—written with a brotherly love, etc.—but while linke uses this as a “gotcha!” moment to shut down discussion, overton rightly recognizes that “other people give it their own meaning”—that art exists as dialogue with the audience where intent and interpretation do not necessarily align

honestly, what strikes me the most when contrasted with linke is the lack of possessiveness here, as linke clings to the original intentions of the writers like a lifeline whereas overton has set her creation free into the wild with serenity

which can also be rephrased to mean that linke believes in the power of word of god

so word of god is extremely interesting when it comes to the history of queer media

from the korrasami being confirmed via word of god because of network restrictions that meant they had their hands tied when it came to the text of the show, but still making a huge step in the direction of explicit queer rep

to hannigram, where the ship has an incredibly solid textual base within the universe (with “is hannibal in love with me?” “yes” being actual lines), but shipping wiki still has it as “canon (confirmed by bryan fuller)” as if because it’s a queer couple, it needs that extra layer of assurance when for a straight ship it would have less scrutiny

so these two examples have been instances of positive word of god—cases where the creators intentionally wrote in queerness

and media creators have not always been so supportive—just look at the 2010s epidemic of queerbaiting

BUT HERE’S THE THING: the “word of god” stands in near direct contrast with another incredibly useful tool—“death of the author,” which posits that authors essentially lose authority over the meaning of their work and that the work can be analyzed contradicting the authorial intent if there is textual evidence to support it (grossly oversimplified)

essentially, the “death of the author” approach happened a lot in fandoms that had “hostile” creators (moff and gatis mocking fans for shipping, both within and without the show sherlock, for example)

and the thing about fandoms is that it’s great when the creator is on our side! but if not? we’re going to be just fine on our own, we’ve survived like that for decades

and here comes 2024, a year rich with queer content and the practice of queer readings having lost a fair bit of the stigma that was long associated with it (with special mention to the good omens and ofmd fan readings before and after the episodes with kissing were released)

and linke is… still stuck in a 2010s mindset??? like i’m not sure how to explain it more elegantly. do not be like linke

in contrast, amanda overton has the much more nuanced view of fandom and fan interpretations, where she can both acknowledge authorial intent and that differing interpretations will exist and that they still carry weight. be like amanda overton

[lesbians4armand]

What is your take on Armand's sexuality. I suppose he is canon bisexual as in he says he fucked Celeste and Estelle but do you read him as having any real interest in women? He seems very gay to me

Honestly, I totally read and see him as bisexual. I think he can have more interest in men than women, but so far we’ve only seen that part of him (aside from vague references to relationships with women) in the show.

One of the things that makes me see him as bisexual the most is a bias from the books and a relationship with a character named Bianca Solderini who is yet to be introduced to the show, a woman he knew as a young man in Venice during his life with Marius. Bianca and Armand were very close and very obviously loved one another (romantically as well as in other ways), and Bianca cared for Armand when he was dying before he was made a vampire.

While it makes some sense to make Louis explicitly gay rather than the hand-wavy bisexuality of all vampires in the books, I think Armand’s (and Lestat’s) bisexuality are equally important. They aren’t just bisexual because vampires don’t care, they’re bisexual because they already were.

I can see Armand having a preference for men, both out of genuine preference as well as a comfort in familiarity (Armand to me is very much a character who likes to be in situations he is familiar with, this is why he seeks security in covens and tries to somewhat recreate the dynamics of what he had with Marius when he was young). A part of this familiarity could be being with men as almost all of the most important relationships of his life have been with men, it’s what he knows.

But I do still think he is attracted to women. Bi4Bi devils minion you are so real.

[terukosnumberonefan]

Levi’s Former Identity: A Danganronpa Despair Time Theory

Levi is one of the most interesting characters for me, and I remember when I watched him and Eden discuss his backstory. I found it weird when Levi mentioned wanting to be a good person, since he had shown himself to be kind and caring towards his classmates. So when he said he didn’t actually care about anyone, that sentence finally made sense to me.

However, as I watched that episode, I began to ponder when I thought about another fictional character with antisocial personality disorder, and that’s when I began to realize they had a lot in common. At first, I struggled to believe the realization I came to, like I’m sure you guys will as well. After all, what I’m about to say sounds outlandish and ridiculous. But after looking through all the evidence I compiled, I do have reasons to believe this.

Personally? I believe that Levi used to be Nicole from Class of ‘09.

Now you may be saying to yourselves “But that’s not possible, those two can’t be the same person, right?”. So I ask you to listen to my argument, and by the end you will understand why I believe that these two are the same person.

Argument one, appearance

Firstly, I want you to take note of one really important thing:

The appearance. Appearance is everything you know. Arturo would be pleased to know we are currently focused on appearance.

So let’s focus on appearance.

Take a look at Nicole. Notice the following:

She has blue eyes, brown hair and is wearing blue, a cool color.

Now look at Levi and notice the following:

He has blue eyes, brown hair and is wearing purple, a cool color.

Do you see the similarities?

Now, I know what you may be thinking:

“But… they clearly have different shades of brown in their hair.”. Which is a fair argument to make, young reader, they do indeed have different shades of brown in their hair.

However, as you age there is the chance of your hair becoming lighter, and while Arturo mentioned being 18, that doesn’t inherently mean everyone else is 18 too.

So yeah, for all we know Nicole could have either dyed her hair lighter, or she could have her hair go lighter.

Furthermore, they have almost the exact same shade of blue in their eyes, perhaps from all the stuff Nicole has gone through her eyes turned more gray or she now wears contacts to disguise herself (even though she doesn’t wear glasses). They also have similar-ish shaped eyes minus the fact Nicole doesn’t have two little lashes on the bottom of hers, but who’s to say she doesn’t just grab mascara or false lashes?

So we agree that they look similar, right? Well, perhaps you’re saying “But Levi is more buff than Nicole, they can’t possibly be the same person!”

Well, from those who play Class of ‘09 would know, Nicole is a drug user. We’ve seen her take quite a lot of stuff throughout the series, so who’s to say she’s never taken steroids?

“They have different face shapes”, contour my friends. Nicole can contour up her face.

And yeah they have different genders, however who’s to say that Nicole isn’t disguising herself as a man for reasons that I will get to in a bit? And yes, I do think that Nicole is disguising herself as Levi and not vice versa, and my argument and what I believe happened will clarify this.

So appearance isn’t the problem, they have similarities in appearance and while they may be different personality wise, there’s another thing they have in common that honestly solidifies my theory that Nicole and Levi are indeed the exact same person.

Plus, we don’t know where Nicole’s originally from besides “Coastal America”. I asked the Class of ‘09 subreddit and they pointed out since she’s from Coastal America, doesn’t have a regional accent, obviously not from the west side, then the most likely state could be Connecticut.

Plus, that state is close to New York, which has a fairly high Italian population. Where the last name Fontana originates. Do you see where I’m getting at? It is very likely that Nicole’s last name is Fontana.

That’s evidence 1, they look very similar and the slight differences they do have can be explained through characters and who they are.

Argument 2: Their fault

As we know from the chapter 2 trial so far, Levi had mentioned he killed his dad. But we don’t know how he killed his dad. Technically there are many different definitions we can use here for “killed”.

And one of those definitions? Driving someone to suicide.

As long as we don’t know how his dad died, we can come to our own conclusions. While NOW we know Levi wouldn’t do that anymore because he feels a sense of duty to do “good” even if he doesn’t care about the outcome, how do we know younger Levi- the same person who killed three people (admittedly one in self defense)- would have that same principle?

He wouldn’t.

And do you know who canonically drove her dad to suicide even if we have no clue how she did it? (Not even she knows herself)

Nicole.

Even then, we can use Levi’s duty to do good as even further evidence of him and Nicole being the same person. Yeah, Nicole might not hold the same principle, but people can change as well.

We also know they both have at least one brother, and a mother, and that their families were dysfunctional and toxic. And bad influences on each other.

While yes, Levi mentioned having more than one brother, I believe he’s lying about this due to him and Nicole being the same person and very soon I’ll explain why.

We don’t know how Nicole caused her dad to kill himself, and we don’t know how Levi caused his dad to die. And would you honestly believe that Nicole wouldn’t track guys down and kill them if she got something out of it? And we know Levi NOW wouldn’t have done a lot of the stuff Nicole did… but we also don’t know about Levi's past. We know he killed people, we know he holds no remorse, but why would he care about being a good person? At some point he developed a sense of doing good for others.

What caused him to change and become the person we know him as today? Why would Hope’s Peak scout Nicole as a Personal Stylist of all things? Was Levi responsible for the destruction of the Photo Lab? What happened to the other Class of ‘09 characters?

I think it’s time for me to explain the entire story of what I think happened in order for all of us to truly understand the mystery behind Levi’s past identity.

The story on how Nicole became Levi

So back in High School for Nicole, after her dad killed herself, we know Nicole started doing drugs as I mentioned earlier. At some point however, Nicole messed up. Perhaps this was after breaking Megan and Hunter up, or this was revenge from Mr. Lorre after Nicole and Emily ratted him out. In any case, they sent guys after Nicole and in the process the guys killed Jecka, Nicole’s best friend. When they went after Nicole to attack her, she killed the leader in self defense and then went after the other guys several days later as revenge for killing Jecka. Before Nicole could go to jail however, Emily used her connections with drug dealers to get Hope’s Peak to scout her as the Ultimate Personal Stylist, as she knew Nicole looked good and everyone agreed Nicole was beautiful and pretty fashionable.

And so, Hope’s Peak agreed, and they wiped out Nicole’s past. Nicole realized she probably wouldn’t get bugged by men if she disguised herself as a man and thus she did so. She changed her first name to Levi but kept his last name in order to hold some memory of the past. He cut his hair, dyed it, and started contouring his face so he wouldn’t look like his old self. From the depression of losing Jecka, he stopped caring for good, and he started taking steroids which now give him the muscular appearance. It worked, and Levi started to try and do good things for the sake of Jecka and for her memory. And that’s how we got the Levi we know and love. But was it all worth it in the end?

In conclusion, the story behind Levi and Nicole is a tragic tale, and I do hope this essay proved to you why I think these two are the same person due to being brunettes with ASPD. Thanks for reading the truth. Wait, what do you mean not every brunette with ASPD is the same person and this was a waste of time, what?

[idontplaytrack]

I didn't know you take character X character fics! I have this Rejanis idea, where the gang goes swimming, and Janis sees a very nervous (because of her scar) Regina in a bathing suit for the first time, but Janis is just going absolutely feral. (idc if its smutty or not, but if feel like it powerbottom!Janis lmao!) (un-established relationship btw)

Don't feel pressured yo write this! I live your fics and u are amazing!

✧ Bruises

Janis ‘Imi’ike x Regina George

Warnings: mentions of Regina’s bus accident, scars, coarse language, fluff, smutty ending

“Metaphorically though, you could flip me inside out and they would show black, purple and green.”

— Bruises, Reneé Rapp

Janis and Regina didn’t get to spend much time together. Not just at school, or at each other’s houses. Anywhere. The pair started dating almost four months ago, and no one knew. Not even their parents— so when Regina’s Mom went on a vacation off in the Gold Coast, the first thing Regina did was ask Janis to come over. She was dying to spend some time alone with Janis.

“Hi, baby.” Regina opens the front door, stepping aside to let her enter.

“Hi.” Janis grins, standing on her toes to press a kiss to Regina’s lips. Janis steps inside, Regina shuts the door and locked it back.

Once they broke away, Janis couldn’t help but notice what Regina was wearing— that swim suit. Ever since her accident, she’s never worn anything but a one-piece. But today, she was wearing what she would usually wear. Pre-bus accident. A two-piece swim suit. Janis was enamoured, gaze focused on every little part of her. “Why’re you looking at me like that?” Regina asks softly.

“Just admiring you. You’re beautiful.”

Regina cringes, “Ugh, no. C’mon, let’s get into the pool. It’s so freaking warm today.” Janis drops the subject, following behind the blonde. Janis sat at the edge of the pool, legs dipped inside while Regina immediately went into the water. Janis figured she was trying to hide, and judging by the way Regina was avoiding eye contact, Janis’d be correct.

“G.” Janis exhales, “Look at me.”

Regina grumbles quietly, still looking away from her girlfriend. “Regina.” Janis repeated. The other girl still didn’t budge. “Alright, you don’t have to look at me, but you gotta listen.”

Janis continues, “I know you don’t like those scars. But, they’ve never bothered me— I don’t care how many you have, I don’t care how many pimples you may get, I don’t care how messy your hair may look. All I know is, I love you and all of those things don’t make you any less beautiful. You’re you— that blonde hair, your blue eyes, that cheeky ass smile or smirk you give me all the time. You care about me, you take care of me. That’s all I ever wanted. Someone who loves me for who I am, and care about me. We’ve been through hell, but we’re still here. You’re still here. And I’m so glad you’re still here. I’m so glad we made up and are where we are today, Regina.”

As a result of getting hit by the bus, she’s had a scar on her back, but that wasn’t the end of it. She also has a couple of scars on her abdomen from other injuries from the accident. Janis knew them, Janis saw them, Janis couldn’t care less about them. All that mattered to her was that Regina was alive. That she still had Regina in her life.

“I get how you feel to a certain extent…feeling insecure and all. You know how I always wore swim shorts? With a one-piece?”

Regina finally made eye contact with Janis, flashing her a very tiny smile but her expression soon turned solemn, focusing on Janis who was about to continue speaking. Regina nods.

“Well, I for the life of me didn’t want you to see those stretch marks on my thighs, on my butt, on my hips.” Janis reveals, “You figured that out too, so quickly. So, I get it. But little by little, you made me feel more comfortable with being myself and not having to hide parts of myself from you feels so damn good because it’s so freeing. I don’t have to worry about anything with you, and I don’t want you to have to worry about anything while you’re with me. You’re perfect the way you are. This body is yours, and you should be proud of it. It’s been with you through a lot, but it’s still here— fighting, thriving even.”

“Thanks, Jay.” Regina’s smile widened, “I love you, so so very much.”

Janis smiles back, going into the pool now as well but stays at the side. Regina swims over, staying beside her. “It feels very nice when we’re in the pool, this weather.” Janis remarks.

“Absolutely.” Regina agrees, tilting her chin to press a lingering kiss to her lips. Janis chuckles, “What ya doing, G?”

“What do you want me to do, Janis?” Regina plays along.

“Right here? Bold.” Janis laughs some more, lips tugging into a grin.

“You’re the most fucking beautiful person I have ever seen in my life.” Regina mutters into the kiss.

“Oh, yeah. I am loving this.” Janis deepens the kiss, “Keep going, you freaking goddess.”

“Well, damn.” Regina breaks away slightly, out of breath. Janis hurriedly reconnects their lips again, wanting more. Obviously, wanting more.

“Shit,” Janis mutters, “Should we just—”

“If you want, otherwise we can go back insi—”

“Y’know what? Fuck it, let them hear us for all I care. We’re still in your house.”

“We’re outside.” Regina nearly snorted, Janis pulls away exhaling harshly and sulking. “You wanna say that again?” Janis raised a brow, asking.

“Hell no.” Regina bites back a grin, “Kiss me, idiot.”

“Fine, idiot.” Janis obliges, but not before giving Regina’s ass a good squeeze, “Pull that shit again and I’ll make you regret.”

“Try me, Jay.” Regina says back, barely audible. “I highly doubt I’ll regret anything we’re about to do.”

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@ashecampos @auliisflower @cheesysoup-arlo @frogs00 @reneeswif3 @ludoesartnstuffs @pda128

💭A/N: I apologise for how short this fic is, but I didn’t want to add on more to it otherwise it’ll just end up being too draggy bc the rest of it wasn’t good in my head so I didn’t put it in

[adobe-outdesign]

a while back I mentioned The Muppets Sex and Violence pilot and seeing as most people haven't seen it I wanted to bullet point out some of the insanity in it for everyone

This was the second pilot produced, with The Muppets Valentine Show being the first

The entire thing USED to be freely available on YouTube but Disney decided a pilot from 1975 that you can't watch on Disney+ anyway was losing them money so I had to cobble these notes together via memory and YouTube clips

The setup is a bit different from the actual show. There's no guest star (this idea was instead used for the aforementioned first pilot), there's very little backstage story and more focus on unconnected skits

There's no background music throughout most of it and pacing is sluggish at best, leaving periods of silence behind. about halfway through you WILL start to wonder if you're in Muppet Purgatory

Instead of Kermit the host is a guy named Nigel. I'll probably make a separate post on him later but for right now all you need to know is that he has the personality of wet cardboard and looks like he wants to lie down and take a nap 24/7 which like. same

For some reason the main three characters are Nigel, Sam the Eagle, and Floyd(???). Kermit shows up for like 30 seconds

Crazy Harry is in. the ceiling??

Animal is there but he's literally so feral he's kept locked in a dungeon that they have in the conference room (as you do)

Janice has a line and sounds absolutely nothing like herself (as Fran Brill is her performer here instead of Richard Hunt)

There's a wiseman in the backstage area and nothing about him is ever explained. they're just like "oh and that's our wiseman"

The seven deadly sins are there. that sounds like a joke but it's not

Their version of Lust is a Muppet made entirely of tongues that flirts with the female secretary then proceeds to say "love you, sweetheart" to Nigel after giving him a full-body look-over. To date this is unironically the best depiction of Lust I have ever seen

Actually a few of the sins have cool abstract designs. for example, Vanity is a literal vanity desk and Avarice is a cash register

Their proposal for an eight deadly sin is "wearing funny pants to a funeral"

at least one of the female Muppets that Kermit briefly dances with looks like This

There's a sketch just called "Aggression" that's done entirely in gibberish and about halfway through I wondered if I was having a stroke

There's also a sketch involving living pencils and puns

The Electric Mayhem perform a song and it's just straight up 90% innuendo

Statler and Waldorf have a few scenes but they're just sitting in a room instead of heckling and come across like they're Literally Dying

at one point the grandfather clock in the background stops ticking and Statler just says "either that clock is stopped or we've just died" and that's the last we see of them

The Swedish Chef segment has Chinese subtitles under it and honestly that kind of makes it funnier

also at the end of the segment the Chef takes out a blunderbuss and shoots a sandwich with it

During the credits the camera pulls back to reveal all the Muppet performs running around. Disney would NEVER

Sloth shows up fifteen minutes late with Starbucks