#a 12-pack of cokes will set you back almost $10
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You could get boneless, skinless chick breasts (don’t judge me) for $1.99 per pound until like…2021. Now it’s a good deal at $5.00 a pound or less.
A box of cereal is over $7????
I go to the grocery store and buy 3 bags of groceries with like 80% of the stuff half off on buy-one-get-one and it’s still over $70.
I have a very good salary (per tumblr standards), and that’s still almost half my monthly grocery budget…
It is ridiculous how much grocery prices have increased
#my salary puts me in the bottom 50% of middle class in actuality#a one-bedroom apartment would be like 40% of my take-home pay#tumblr just has extremely skewed baseline views on income#also I’m very cautious in my carefully planned budgets#so my grocery budget may seem comparatively low#prices are for metro GA#I don’t remember how much I used to pay for everything#cuz I started living on my own in 2021#green beans are the same price though….#frozen peas are not for some reason#a 12-pack of cokes will set you back almost $10#ridiculous
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Public stuffing
Standing in the mirror you start to observe your reflection packed into unbuttoned jeans when you hear the door slide open
You frantically try to suck in your recently expanding belly and you try to button your pants unsuccessfully. At that moment your partner Alice walks in seeing you in your pitiful state pants hanging open with a belly causing a divide of several inches in the gap. Your small boobs contained in a strained sports bra and nothing else to cover yourself. Alice obviously notices your embarrassment and goes in to tease
“Another outgrown pair piggy? You’re costing us a fortune...” she moved around behind you and pinched your multiplying back rolls, “why don’t we get you some food, here put on this shirt” Alice tossed you a once cute floral crop top that what certainly too tight, you feel your pussy getting wet as you refute the idea of the shirt
“This, this is tiny on me, it’s from when we first started dating” you whine
“I know fatty, that’s the point” she jiggled your gut “I’ll meet you in the car in 10, and you better be wearing exactly that” she winked and slipped away
You obediently put on the shirt and look at yourself. It came a couple inches down your gut, thankfully stretchy, but It required you to pull it down occasionally to keep it in place. The shirt was an off the shoulder cut with longer sleeves but the fabric cut into your shoulder fat and the sleeves made noticeable indents on your forearms. Looking down your pants were still unbuttoned so you grab a hair tie, wrap it around the button, and loop it through the hole and straining get it back over the button to make a makeshift close for your pants. You then grab your purse and walk out to the car
Alice is waiting in the car and you hop in, her grin widening as you approach the door, reaching its peak when you take a seat watching your belly expand.
“..This shirt is so tight on me babe..” you say as you play with the hem of the shirt which while you’re sitting was even higher up than before
“And look you can’t even see your pants are unbuttoned right now cause your gut covers it” Alice chuckled as you blush looking down at your dome shaped stomach remembering how flat and toned it once was.
In almost no time Alice pulls up to the local diner, and gets out standing in front of the car watching you struggle to get out of the seat, and then walked you inside
“Hey why don’t you sit down at a table and I’ll order” she winked and walked away as you went in the opposite direction towards the tables, feeling the stares of patrons eyes on your stomach hanging out of your shirt as you continuously get more and more turned on.
You plop your widening ass into a booth seat towards the back as you notice how close your belly is getting to touching the edge of the table when your back is all the way against the wall behind you. You sit and patiently wait for Alice to come back until you see her with a number for your food looking around for you.
You wave at her and when she catches sight of you she begins to walk back shaking her head laughing
“Oh really? A seat all the way back here? I don’t think so piggy, we’re getting front row seats for this meal, I want everyone to see you” Alice put out her hand and you take it as she try’s to help you up but your big bloated body has to heavingly scoot out of the booth. She walks you to a table in the middle of the seating area, front and center, this time a chair table so you’re visible from all angles. Alice pulls out a chair and you take it, sets the number on the counter space and takes the seat across from you
You notice a middle aged couple and their adolescent children about a table across from you, the parents eye you judgementally but keep to themselves. The only other patrons in the restaurant were a group of teenagers in a booth you spotted on your way over.
In very little time a waitress struggling under the weight of her tray was looking around for the table she was supposed to be delivering to, and kept looking at the families table until she realized you had the number and she approached confused.
“You’re #12 right?” Alice nodded for you
“Um alright,” she unloaded the tray onto your table and you turn bright red as you realize how much Alice ordered, you desperately try to thank the waitress as she leaves and she scoffs at you.
Alice not lifting a finger to grab anything to eat leans back and gives you a smug look and you realize she expects you to finish it all
You tentatively pick up a burger from the massive hoard of food in front of you and begin to eat it, slowly at first before realizing how good it is, and more importantly how hungry you are. Before you know it you’ve already eaten through 3 plates leaving your face covered in crumbs and sauces accumulating on your shirt from your reckless devouring.
Alice watching you with delight intermittently chiming in with benign small talk to fill the not so empty noise of you stuffing your face unable to control your hunger.
Licking off your fingers to get every last drop of food you go in on a club sandwhich, taking massive bites and drawing attention from the near by family, watching you in your pacified bloated body and getting judgemental glances at the already cleared plates.
You take a pause and catch your breath, wipe your hands on a napkin and notice the massive amount of food Alice bought was already dwindling, leaving a side of fries and half of a burger you didn’t completely finish from earlier as well as a coke. You grab said coke and wash down the food you’ve already eaten and let out an unintentional blelch, and quickly cover your mouth blushing bright red. Then you realize you’re breathing like a literal pig, panting from nothing but eating and Alice notices
“Well look at that, you’re out of breath from eating...” she slides her foot up against your leg dorm under the table and smiles at you clearly amused by your piggish behavior
You put your hands on your belly and realize how full you are, and the fact that your belly is now pressed against the edge of the table and Alice chimes in again “I hope you know by now we’re not leaving until you’re all finished...” seeing your depleted stuffed state.
Taking a deep breath you slowly jam the rest of the burger into your mouth leaving sauce and meat juices dripping from your mouth and take another long sip from the coke before dutifully finishing off the fries and finally leaning back in your chair exposing your entire belly to the world
“I’ll be right back, you can head on back to the car love” Alice said and once again walked away
Just then still in your leaned back position a kid no older than 10 from the table over says “Mommy she looks like the seals we saw at the zoo yesterday!” And an older sibling of the kid quietly pitches in with “nah I’d say she’s more like a pig” before snickering
“Austin! Jeremiah! That’s rude!” Their mother scolds them while their dad just laughs along with them
You decide to start on your way back to the car, and you take off your pants rubber band because it is far to tight now and heave your bloated body upwards stretching infront of the family and letting your massive gut hang out before again completely unintentionally letting out a massive burp and covering your mouth in shame as the family stares in judgement.
“You’d think you’d have a little shame good lord” the mom whispered upset her breath as she ushered her children out of the restaurant.
You’re slightly embarrassed but oh so turned on, you walk towards the door, needing to stop and take a breath, before proceeding to the car belly hanging a foot out in front of you like a bumper.
You realize your car is parked very close to someone else and realize you have to shimmy between them to get to the door.
You sigh and you press your ass against your car and your belly against the adjacent car and slide in until mortified, you realise, with your belly sandwiched right against the window, a teenager and his friends are in the car you’re pressed up against. Their shocked faces start at you until one of them rolls down a window
“Yo fatass get your stomach off my car” he said
You stumbling over your words frantically apologize, and scoot towards your door sucking in as much as possible and finally managing to open your door and painfully squeeze in and heavily seat yourself before the teenagers begin to drive off but not before yelling
“Why don’t you try to loose some weight piggy” followed by oinking noises. You sigh and lean back thankful to be done with that when you look up to see Alice holding a bag laughing, and you realize she saw that entire interaction
“Loose some weight fatty, teenagers right” Alice teased poking your bloated belly “that was a sight to see, could you really only get to the car by sliding like that? you really are getting big, I’ll have to start parking away from other cars” she smiled and started unpacking the bag she had. She pulled out a milkshake and some brownie lava cakes
“Oh no Alice look at my belly! I can’t eat that” you beg feeling your very stuffed gut like a bowling ball in your lap.
“Alright I guess I’ll just have to eat it myself then...” Alice waved the lava cake around letting you smell it, making your mouth drool thinking about the warm chocolate my goodness even though you just ate enough for a family when Alice pretending to start to take a bite before you object overwhelmed by your thoughts
“WAIT, ok ok ok nevermind I do want it, please can I have it?” You grovel before Alice leans your seat back and begins to feed you the cake interspersed with bites of milkshake until you had eaten the whole cake and half of the large shake. Alice puts the car in drive and takes you home as you lay back in the seat absolutely stuffed but still suckling on your milkshake in your food stained shirt exposing your round pale belly to the world.
“I must be the luckiest feeder in the world cause you’re an excellent pig.. I’ve been tracking your calories today and you ate 5,350 calories today, plus that shake I added body builder powder to which adds an extra 1,000 when you’re finished..” Alice chuckled as she parked the car in our driveway “Youre a perfect fatass you know?”
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little t&a (paul/gene, nc-17) (part 17 of 29)
part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6 part 7 part 8 part 9 part 10 part 11 part 12 part 13 part 14 part 15 part 16 part 17 part 18 part 19 part 20 part 21 part 22 part 23 part 24 part 25 part 26 part 27 part 28 part 29
Four weeks before KISS gets back on tour, Gene discovers that Paul’s been cursed by a groupie. For the sake of KISS’ finances, Paul’s comfort levels, and Gene’s libido, this crisis must be resolved. Sexswap fic. In this chapter: Paul makes incredibly poor decisions at CBGB.
It was faster than Paul had expected, getting noticed. A few stares as he came in to CBGB, enough to spook him. He’d never been able to shake that feeling, that insidious feeling that people only ever stared at him because something was wrong with him, because up until he was twelve or so and started growing his hair out, that had been exactly the truth. Nothing had really changed. Plenty was still wrong with him. He’d just figured out how to cover it up, was all.
He wondered if they were feeling sorry for him, walking in alone this late at night, not too long before the club closed. Figuring he was some girl who just got dumped. Or maybe they just thought he had a nice set of tits.
Whatever. He ordered a drink from Carol’s brother, just a rum and coke, and sat down at the very far corner of the bar. The crowds had thinned out extensively, the band starting to pack things up. Paul thought, briefly, that he might have screwed it all up with his timing. That he’d be driving home alone in another, what, hour, half-hour, whenever Hilly finally turned out the lights. Driving back home to Gene, if Gene had even stuck around. A hateful prospect, proving to Gene he couldn’t even get fucked on his own. But then one of the guys that’d been looking his way when he first walked in stepped up to the bar and took a seat next to him, his smile easy and warm.
“Hey there.”
“Hey.”
“You come here often?” Before Paul could do more than wince in response at the tired old line, the guy grinned and continued. “Nah, you don’t come here often. I’d have remembered.”
“Just a couple times.”
He was eying Paul’s left hand. Paul held it up wryly, exposing the lack of a wedding ring. Lack of any rings. The ones he’d been wearing last Tuesday evening had slid off by the time he’d woken up the next morning.
“You’re fine. Keep going.”
“Keep going, huh?” The guy’s lips tilted up. “That’s not exactly getting my hopes up, honey.”
Paul took a few sips of his drink, the rum and coke burning somewhere in his throat. It wasn’t working right yet. He didn’t know how to work this. No, rather, he didn’t want to work this. Batting his eyes at Carol’s brother yesterday hadn’t felt degrading, but somehow this did.
“Sorry. Maybe you’ll get somewhere.”
The guy just looked amused.
“Kind of cold, aren’t you? What’s your name?”
“Paulie.”
“Polly, that’s sweet. I’m David. What do you do, Polly?”
“I’m in a band.” Another swallow, this one feeling like lead. David wasn’t bad-looking. Dark, straight hair, about as tall as he’d been. Skinny. Paul didn’t go after men much. There wasn’t a reason to, on-tour, when the women piled into the hotel rooms without any effort on his part. He’d fucked around with Peter some, and let Ace suck him off once or twice—but guys, in general, had been one-night stands in sorry discos. They never meant anything to him but regret in the aftermath.
“No kidding? What kind of band?”
“Just a rock band.”
“A rock band, huh? That’s new. Thought girl groups went out with the Supremes.”
Paul flinched.
“We’re not a girl group.” And then, because the guy looked almost apologetic, he added, “We don’t harmonize well enough for that.”
David laughed, mood restored.
“What do you play? Don’t tell me. Let me guess.” He was scrutinizing Paul in the dim lights of the bar. Eventually, he grasped Paul’s hand, the one not holding his glass, running his fingers up and down Paul’s knuckles, sliding all the way up the back of his hand before stopping at the wrist. “Pretty long fingers. Keyboard?”
“No.”
Past his wrist now, feeling up his arm. His hand was broad, fingers thick. Not like Gene’s, no calluses. Paul shivered involuntarily. One more thing Gene had helped shield him from, feeling weak. Feeling like there was ever a situation he couldn’t walk out of. That was gone now. He’d just have to live with it.
“You’re not a drummer.” The guy laughed, tapping his fingers along Paul’s forearm. “Bass, maybe?”
“No.”
“That narrows it down,” and he smiled. His fingers were trailing again, pressing along his bare skin until they reached his shoulder, then his collarbone, inching across and up—“I guess your instrument’s right—here.”
David’s fingers barely brushed against Paul’s lips for a second. Then his mouth replaced them, hot and wet, only faintly tasting of alcohol. Paul kissed back almost mechanically. His spine felt like a steel rod, all stiffness, no give anywhere. He raised his arm, just out of muscle memory, apt to reach for the guy’s shoulder, only to stop and pull back. He broke the kiss a second later. The guy just seemed amused.
“Was I wrong?”
Paul shook his head and took another few sips of his drink. The rum and coke was more ice than anything else, already nearly gone. He pushed it aside.
“I play guitar, too. Just rhythm.”
“Just rhythm.” Still smiling. “Can I buy you another drink, Polly? What would you like?”
“I don’t—” Highballs were the only type of drinks he liked, and he barely drank them. He thought about Gene, making him stick around the club an extra hour last night, just to sober him up from half a Tom Collins. Overzealous. He swallowed thickly. “Why don’t you pick something out for me?”
David nodded and got up, heading to the bar. Paul didn’t watch him order, just looked around, heart thudding a slow, defeated cadence. His palms were wet, and he wiped them off on the skirt of his dress. Locked in now. Locked in already. He felt like it, even if it wasn’t true. That was how it went, right? Buy a girl a drink and go to bed with her. Trade a cocktail for a lay. He’d never really been on the giving or receiving end of that before. He couldn’t force a smile when the guy came back with a Brandy Alexander.
“Figured you might like chocolate.”
“Thanks.”
He stirred it, maybe unnecessarily. The first sip was predictably sweet, and he avoided the guy’s gaze at first, waiting on him to speak again.
“You’re pretty quiet, aren’t you?”
“That’s what people tell me.”
“I thought a singer would talk a little more.” David leaned in. “C’mon, tell me about yourself. I bet you’ve got some stories.”
Paul forced a weak smile.
“I don’t, really. I go right back to the hotel after shows. Off-tour I just want to be alone.”
“But you came here. Looks like you’ve got an itch to scratch.”
He had to take another swallow of the cocktail before he could summon up an answer. His tongue didn’t want to stammer out anything. He wanted to walk out, not entertain any of this shit, not like this. Talking up a guy in the bar he didn’t give a damn about. And yet for all the hollowness, for all the sick feelings creeping through him, he kept plowing through regardless, relentless in his own sabotage. Like he was scooping out his own insides while complaining about the mess.
“Yeah? You think you’re the guy for it?”
“I think you’re the girl for it. But maybe I want to make sure.” David smiled. His hand went for the side of Paul’s face. Paul stiffened up instantly, and the guy shifted his hand when he did, until it rested on the back of his neck. Paul leaned forward then, trying to relax, letting their lips meet again, letting him deepen the kiss. His tongue was deft enough, at least. He wasn’t pushy or handsy. It seemed more like the guy was waiting. For what, Paul didn’t know.
He pulled back again for a breath and another few sips of his drink. The smooth chocolate flavor on his tongue tasted better than the kisses, but that was to be expected. He didn’t want to get really drunk, just tipsy enough to shut his brain down, enough to stop feeling sick with every response he made, every returned touch. If he couldn’t approach the whole thing clinically, he’d approach it a little stoned.
“Are you sure now?”
“Might need a test drive.” He paused. “You’ve got a boyfriend, don’t you?”
“Never.”
“You’ve got a girlfriend?”
“Not lately.” Paul watched the guy’s expression with dull fascination. Watching him assume he knew the whole story just from two words. Some depressed femme trying out the straight scene. Like something out of a porno.
“Not lately, huh. What happened?”
God, the guy kept trying to get him to talk, like getting him to talk was the key. Paul’s nerves were only getting worse with every question. He wasn’t much at inventing even when he was in a better state than this. He’d never really had to. Between Bill Aucoin and Gene, that base was covered. The Brandy Alexander was getting downed just as readily as a milkshake. And all the while the guy kept his gaze right on him.
“She dumped me for another guy, that’s what happened,” Paul rattled out finally. “It was months ago. What do you want, a picture?”
“Only if she’s as pretty as you. Are you ever gonna loosen up on your own, or d’you need some more help?” The guy dug in his coat pocket, producing a bottle of pills. He unscrewed the cap, tipping a few into his hand before holding his palm out towards Paul. “It’s just ’ludes.”
He didn’t know why he reached a hand towards David’s. He didn’t know why he picked up two of the pills, staring at them in the dim light like he’d never been around that shit, looking at the manufacturer’s name and the 714 marking just below it, like he really needed confirmation. He had a bottle of them in his medicine cabinet, basically untouched since he’d gotten the prescription from Hilsen a couple years back. Half out of necessity, because the nerve pills he’d been taking at the time were wrecking his libido. Half out of curiosity, because everyone was taking Quaaludes, because they were passed out like party favors after shows and in nightclubs.
But he didn’t like how he felt on ’ludes. It wasn’t like the amphetamines he dabbled with on tour, where they’d make him feel great enough to bust through the setlist and sleep with at least two or three girls after without a rest in between. It wasn’t like marijuana, where he’d just feel too free and start rambling about whatever shit was on his mind to whoever listened. Quaaludes… Quaaludes worked too well, that was the problem. Shut his anxiety down like a steel trap snapping its jaws around a bear’s leg. He hadn’t been able to get high on them like most people. He just didn’t give a damn about anything on ’ludes, and instead of that being a relief, instead of it being a solution to all the problems he’d had since he was fifteen, it had terrified him to the point he’d left them alone.
He didn’t like how he felt on ’ludes, but he didn’t like how he felt now any better. Dragging himself through, making all the motions towards losing it to this guy without really wanting to at all. Drinking wasn’t changing his mood fast enough, but the pills would. Yeah. Yeah. He knew some people didn’t even remember what they’d done while they ’luded out. Some people, enough people, turned into sex fiends while they were on that shit. If he woke up tomorrow back to himself, blanking out the whole deal, every bit of it, then… then fine. Maybe it was even what Carol had expected out of him.
The pills were swallowed down, chased with the last gulp of that Brandy Alexander. Locking himself in, that was what he was doing. Forcing his own choice. The guy looked a little surprised, and then he took a ’lude himself, without a swig of anything to help it go down.
“You’re an odd one, aren’t you? That’s cool. I don’t—”
Paul reached over, cupping a hand around David’s chin, lifting it up as he leaned in, crushing their lips together hard, almost shoving his tongue into David’s mouth.
--
David had him up against the wall twenty minutes later. He had tried, haltingly, to get Paul to wrap both legs around him so he could fuck him right there, or attempt to, right up against a bunch of grimy open brickwork and tattered posters. Paul shook his head.
“I don’t want to do it here.”
“Are you that shy?”
He wouldn’t have even wanted to do it at Studio 54, where he could’ve gotten away with it behind closed doors. CBGB only really had some corner areas like the one they were in right now, the bathrooms, and the stage.
“We… we can go to your place.”
“I don’t think you’ll like my place.” David’s fingers were sliding down under Paul’s dress and nightie, squeezing one breast and then the other. It didn’t feel a quarter as good as it was supposed to. Wasn’t comparable to even Gene’s lone, awkward grope on the bed. The hard-on pressed against his leg, barely contained within his jeans, didn’t feel like a promise, just a dull expectation.
“I like any place.”
“But you won’t like my wife.” David’s hand shifted up, roaming his collarbone, stroking the back of his neck, mouth pressing against every spot as his fingers left it. Paul turned his head as David’s lips pushed against the right side of his neck.
“Don’t.”
“We’re past high school, Polly, I won’t give you a hickey.”
“Don’t.”
“Okay. Okay.” David drew back a few centimeters. Kissed his mouth again. “Any more requests?”
“A hotel.” Paul’s stomach was still churning. He was waiting for that cloud of anxiety to lift. Waiting until he didn’t care about anything anymore, waiting for the booze and ’ludes to really hit him. He didn’t think they had yet. He felt too much like himself for that. His balance felt a bit off, making him press himself against the wall more than he needed to, but the ’ludes hadn’t done much to shut down his brain. “Just take me to a hotel.”
“That’s a lot of trouble.”
“I’ll… I’ll pay.”
He didn’t have the money for it. A handful of quarters and a few scattered ones in his wallet. Credit cards he wouldn’t be able to max out until he hit twenty, maybe thirty grand, yet he didn’t think he could risk trying to use them, not right now. But he was hoping that David would take the bait. One hand, twitchy and oddly wobbly, rubbed and groped David’s erection through his pants, then fumbled to unzip his jeans, fingers sliding under his briefs and wandering the length of his dick. David grunted a bit, shoving up against the touch.
He thought that would help his case, somehow. Prove he was interested. Keep forcing his own hand no matter how repelled he was, until he got what he wanted out of it, those fifteen minutes he needed to get his life back. David seemed vaguely amused, and then annoyed with his feeble strokes.
“You really don’t have the time for a hotel, baby.” His hand closed over Paul’s wrist. “It was cute at first, but you’re going to have to stop putting me off soon.”
“I’m not putting you off. I just don’t want to do it here.” His hands still felt funny, tingly, like they’d fallen asleep. He tugged his hand back, somehow a monumental struggle, stepping forward. Too heavily, having to grab onto David’s shoulder to stay steady. “There’s too many people, I…”
“You try and give me a handjob and then you say there’s too many people? Christ.” The come-ons were long gone now, the ease in his demeanor, now that he was on the cusp of getting what he wanted. Paul knew that.
“I’m—” Paul stopped, gnawing on his lip. He should’ve been breathing harder than this, but even the panic was somehow shaving itself down. “I’m not… I don’t want anyone to see what’s gonna hap…”
“You’ve never even had ’ludes before.” David shook his head. “What the hell are you trying to do?”
“I just… come on, David, let me—I’ll blow you, too, if we… if we go.”
“Why would I want a lesbian trying to blow me?”
His head was starting to feel weird. Not quite that apathy that Quaaludes had given him before. It was stronger than that. He was starting to feel sick.
“’M not really,” Paul protested blearily. David rolled his eyes.
“I think that’s the one thing you didn’t lie about. Like hell you’re in a band. You’ll be passed out before we even get to a hotel. So either we do it here or—”
“No.”
“No?”
“I won’t do it here.”
David’s face contorted. Blurred. Paul shifted back until his heels were up against the wall, then moved to the side, feeling the posters crinkle against his back. Prickles of fear slithered up his spine, far slower than they should have. Nobody was around. Nobody. David jerked him by the arm, an arm he’d stroked gently not half an hour ago, forcing him to stumble forward on legs that were barely holding him up, until he was pushed up against him again, close enough Paul could smell the sweat and cologne on him, feel his hard-on, and he realized, suddenly, he’d been wrong, horribly wrong; it wasn’t always a transaction; it wasn’t always—
“Then you’re a real waste of an evening,” David snapped, dropping his hold just as suddenly as he’d made it, shoving Paul back against the wall. He almost fell, barely managing to right himself, his arms shaking as he shifted sideways across the wall, eyes on David, who was blurring up now, and he realized, he could, he could—
“Please, you’re not worth it,” David said, and before he could say more, Paul pushed himself away from the wall and fled.
--
It felt like an eternity before he made it to a door. Not the exit, just the bathroom. Just turning the knob seemed to take hours, the smell of sewage and vomit assaulting him before he’d even gotten inside. Every square inch of space of the bathroom was covered in graffiti and stickers and fliers, and the stalls didn’t even have doors. Girls were standing in front of the open stalls in a drunken bid to protect their friends’ privacy.
His head swam as he stumbled to the sink. Stupid. Stupid. The few girls inside were talking. Maybe they were talking about him, maybe they recognized him from the night before. It didn’t matter. The only important thing left was getting that shit out of his system. Shit he couldn’t even blame on someone else. He’d taken it willingly. He’d been enough of a fucking idiot to make himself a bigger target than he already was.
Gene would be disgusted with him. Gene couldn’t be half as disgusted with him as he was with himself.
Paul clasped the edge of the dingy, yellowed sink with one hand, just to keep his balance. The streaked, cracked mirror in front of him showed him everything he didn’t want to see. Ratty hair, smudged makeup, all that was nothing, all that meant nothing compared to the desperate look in his watering eyes. Scared. Fragile. He didn’t want to be any of those things. He didn’t want to depend on anyone, anyone’s kindness, anyone’s pity. He didn’t want to be vulnerable.
If he kept his bearings, he’d be okay. He closed his eyes, shoving a finger as far down his throat as he could. He started retching almost immediately, coughing, feeling that horrible burn of acid and alcohol and the milkshake and pizza and doughnuts Gene had treated him to come back up again. His eyes stung, one hand and then the other sliding against the sink as he vomited once, twice, then reached for the tap, turning it on. It wasn’t much good—the vomit still swirled and stopped up the drain—but he didn’t care. Paul panted, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. His legs felt like water underneath him. A couple more minutes. A couple more minutes and David would be gone and he’d be steady enough to get out of there. He’d—he’d get his car and drive back home. Gene might still be there, even. Ready to—ready to chide him for running out like that. He’d deserve it. He’d take it. Just to see him. Even if Gene didn’t want him. Even…
The wobbly feeling in his legs wasn’t getting any better. He shifted one hand off the sink, then had to grab the sink again, just to stay upright. The lights were too bright, all of a sudden, the voices and the pounding of someone's bass outside the bathroom overpoweringly loud.
A little longer, then. He’d give it a little longer. His forehead was wet. Turning the tap off seemed like too much effort, but he did it, just before his fingers slid from the sink, and he crumpled to his knees on the dirty floor.
He didn’t know how long he was there. He almost thought he might have fallen asleep, only he was still sitting up when he felt a hand grasp his arm. He thought, stupidly, it might have been Gene’s, but no. It was too soft, too small. He opened his eyes anyway. It was a girl, crouched at his side, a girl with cropped red hair, hazily familiar.
“Hey,” she said.
“Hey.” His voice was hoarse from vomiting.
“I saw you running. What happened? Is somebody after you?”
“I… I don’t know. I don’t…”
“Is it Gene Simmons? Did that asshole do something to you?” Her hand moved from his arm to his forehead. Her fingers were cool. Paul shook his head.
“No. No, Gene’s not here. He’d never. It…” It was hard to talk, somehow exhausting just to string sentences together. “I took some Quaaludes. But I think I… I think I threw them all up…”
“Can you stand up?”
She had seemed normal before he’d started to move. But as soon as he tried to get off his knees, she and everything else in the bathroom started blurring out in front of him, like the letters during an eye exam. Fuck. He wobbled, grabbing onto her hand as she led him out of the bathroom, walking into the main area. He felt himself half-falter, half sink into a chair.
“I can get you a taxi.”
“No, I… my car’s parked out there, it’s okay. I’ll—”
“Don’t worry about your car right now. Do you have anyone you want me to call for you? I’ll be right here, sweetie, I won’t let anybody bother you.”
She could call his house. Maybe Gene was there. Or maybe Gene had cut all his losses and given up on him. Finally gone back home.
“No.”
It was hard to think right now about anything, even anything painful. Everything had fuzzed out. Even though he’d stopped moving, the girl still looked all funny and streaked-over, and his eyes were heavy. He must not have vomited all the ’lude up.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. I just… I… I’m tired, sorry…”
“Can you stay with me? Come on. Talk to me. What’s your name? Where are you from?”
“Paul.” The second answer came slower. “Queens.”
“Pol, okay.” Her voice was soft. He was straining to hear her. Straining to hear anything. His guts were still roiling, fingers shaking. “You remember me? I met you yesterday. I’m Mary-Anne.”
He nodded.
“This scene doesn’t fit you. I could tell that right off the bat. How did you meet a guy like Gene?”
She was trying to get him to talk, too. He didn't know how to answer, what to make up. He was too tired to try to lie.
“We… we met at a friend’s house. Years and… years ago. Before we, before everything.” He could feel himself fading out again. He could feel himself not minding it, even. The concern and watchfulness on her face was just another image that was slipping in and out of his vision. “Me and Gene have been together for… almost ten years.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
Even given how fuzzy his vision was getting, he noticed she looked a little sad.
“Doesn’t he take you places?”
“Yeah. We go everywhere together. ’S not… not how you think it is, I promise.”
She shook her head.
“He shouldn’t have let you come by yourself. You don’t know how to get around.”
“He didn’t. I… I got mad at him, that’s all.”
“I bet there’s a lot to get mad at.”
Paul’s head felt like a piece of concrete, but he managed to shake it. Try to correct her. Poor Mary-Anne, who still thought he was some pitiful wannabe, or worse. Some little hometown girlfriend Gene had kept on the side while he filled photo albums with his groupies. Off and on, he wasn’t so dazed that he didn’t know that. He just didn’t care.
“No, no. He’s been real good to me this whole time.”
“Uh-huh. You sure I can’t call somebody for you?”
“’M sure. ’M just tired. I… I’ll nap a bit before I…”
His eyelids were like lead doors. He slumped forward in the chair, head sinking against his arms as he fell asleep against the table.
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Miraculous Holidays: New Beginnings
Written for @wearemiraculous
This prompt was requested by @twin-books for Adrien and Bridgette.
Days 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31:
“Is this seat taken?” Adrien gestured to the miraculously empty half of the couch hopefully.
“You’re welcome to it,” the girl sitting alone replied.
“I’m Adrien.” He offered his free hand, balancing his drink in the other as he sat down.
“Bridgette,” she smiled, shaking his hand. “I’m actually glad you came over. I was beginning to think I’d made a mistake sitting down in here.”
“I was shocked to see a free seat. Every other room in the house seems packed.”
“Yeah, the other rooms were a little much for me. This one is quiet.”
“Not a party person?” Adrien grimaced after a sip of flat beer.
“Not so much. I came with my cousin and her boyfriend but I haven’t seen them in almost an hour.” She lit up her phone to check the time. “Make that an hour and a half almost.”
“I know that feeling. I was supposed to meet my cousin here, but I’ve yet to find him. I’ll probably give it one more lap and then head out.”
“I wish I could do that. They were my ride,” she laughed. “It’s all good though. I don’t have any other New Year’s Eve plans so I may as well count down the new year here. Gotta make lemonade and all.”
“Yeah, I guess I don’t really have anything going on either.” Adrien frowned down into his cup. “This is just bad.”
“That’s why I was sticking with soda.” Bridgette picked up her cup and shook it with a smile. “I heard the big guy bringing the keg in say that he got it for cheap because it was expired.”
“Good to have inside tips,” Adrien laughed, setting his cup on the side table. “So, Bridgette, tell me your hopes and dreams for next year.”
She blushed as she giggled. “Way to put me on the spot, guy I just met five minutes ago.”
“Hey, you’re at a New Year’s Eve party. You’ve got to have that kind of information ready.” He grinned at her. “Want me to tell you mine first?”
“Sure, that’d help.”
He nodded. “My biggest goal is to get out and do something on my own. I’ve kinda worked for my dad for a while now and I just need a change. I don’t think it’s going to be very easy to break free though.”
“A lot of things worth doing aren’t easy,” Bridgette replied. “I definitely know that first hand.”
He gave her a fond smile. “And what about you?”
She tapped her chin thoughtfully. “I don’t really like making resolutions because I usually break them and feel bad about myself. I will say that I hope this year I expand my horizons and try new things. Sometimes I get stuck in a rut.”
“That seems like a pretty good resolution.”
“I think so.”
Adrien picked his cup back up and held it aloft with a flourish. “To new beginnings and keeping our resolutions.”
Bridgette tapped her cup to his with a smile. “To new beginnings,” she agreed.
“Want to do a lap with me and see if we can spot either of our cousins?”
“We would be giving up this couch. Might not be free when we get back.”
“Hmmm, that’s a very good point. We’ll give them another half hour to find us.”
Bridgette nodded approvingly. “I think that sounds like a perfect plan. So tell me more about you, Adrien. What’s your favorite color?”
“Get ready to be shocked,” he beamed. “It’s quite controversial.”
Buy me a cherry coke?
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Shop owner ends in hot water for being a crook
Cast: Me - yours truly, F - friend and coworker, B - boss, or bastard, you choose.
Some backstory (sorry for the long one, but there are things I need to make clear):
This happened 10 years ago. I was 18 and this was during the spring period of my junior year. I wanted to get money for a new mobile phone and a school trip to Austria, in order to practice on my German (my major was Math and German). My dad didn't want to give me the necessary 350 Euros for them, even though I was a 4.0 GPA student, calling me spoiled and selfish and asking me to get a job, just like all other normal teens at that time (actually none of my classmates were working, all were given the world by their parents for being in one of the most elite high schools in the city, but hey, you can't choose your family). So I got me a job at a local tobacco shop. It was right across my block of flats, so it was taking me 2 minutes to run from my flat to the shop, no big deal.
The owner of the shop (B) was a short man in his 40s, a man with good demeanor, or so I thought. He owned 4 other shops and needed workforce. We initially agreed for a payment of 15 Euros/day, I would work 4PM to 1AM, 4 days a week, including Saturdays and Sundays, so I would not miss on my schooling. He would pay me once every 2 weeks and even stated he would give me a raise after the first month.
The tobacco shop was selling not only tobacco products, but also alcohol, coffee, nuts, candy, chips, coke and its products etc. It allowed customers to get a cup of coffee which was freshly ground, as well as freshly squeezed orange or grapefruit juice.
So I started in the beginning of March. I was working with two other people, a 45-ish-year-old fat woman with a whining character, who would usually take the morning shifts from 6AM to 4PM and a 19-year-old beautiful girl (F). Also, I need to mention that, at that time, the store would share a toilet with a Courier service office, this is important for later.
There is one more thing I need to add - my country's labour codex states that employees must get a double payment during official holidays and also have at least 12 hours of rest between shifts. This is also important for later.
So initially I was doing fine - I did a couple of days of training, I learnt how to operate and clean the coffee machines, the juice machine, the cashier, the receipts (I needed to press Enter 3 times to enter the products in the system and take a receipt), this is important for later as well). It was quite easy, because I operated fast with money and calculations, and overall was quite trustworthy. I had some small incidents with minors who came asking for beer and cigarettes, but I would not sell the items to them, as it is illegal (my colleagues didn't care about that, but I was taught to uphold the law). Some of the frequent customers, who lived in the hood, would also initially be annoyed with me as well, because they were expecting from me to know the brand of cigarettes they smoke. Yes, there would be conversations like "two packs of my cigarettes - which brand? - Marlboro, you are supposed to know that - sorry, I only work here since recently - well, I come here every day, you should have remembered by now...". Eventually, this stopped, but I got the stink eye from some of them from time to time, because I am a sworn non-smoker, for me all cigarettes are poison, no matter the brand and the strength, and they didn't like that.
Overall, the job was not hard, and I had free Wi-Fi, so I would often bring my laptop to watch Youtube videos or listen to music online (at that time smartphones were expensive as hell and I had a regular mobile phone)
My first two fortnightly salaries were okay. I was supposed to get 120 Euros each, I got something like 110, but this was because I would get a random snack from the shop when I got hungry, and B would deduct all from my payment, which was okay. Also, B initially wanted me to add the tip to the cashier (the tip was the change (5, 10, 20 cents), which the customers would often not take and in the end it would add up to a few Euros), but we agreed for it to remain for me, as the other employees would also take it with them.
A month has passed. It was April, the days started to get warmer and B had permission to set a couple of coffee tables with chairs in front of the shop, so customers could drink their coffee and have a chat with a friend. I was instructed to take the tables and chairs back in the shop around 20:00, and a sign was posted on its front door.
So here started the problems.
After my first month I approached B for a raise, he said I was still a bit rusty and to wait at least 2 more weeks. He also gave me the contract to sign. I never got a copy, but, since this was my first job, I didn't know I needed one. I never got a raise as well, because I was "losing his customers". Bastard.
I had good relations with our colleagues at the courier office, but once I had a problem with them, because I took out the trash, but forgot to clean the juice machine. I threw the orange remains in the toilet, but one tiny piece of orange seemed to remain on the edge, so I was yelled by B and was fined 10 Euros.
There were two other times I was fined 10 Euros, for forgetting to turn the outside lights off and for forgetting to put the daily report in the shop log, but this was my fault. My second coworker would also report me for missing a trash bag or failing to put the items in the fridges in order, but she never took out the trash and never tidied up, so this actually went against her. I never had problems with F.
I had problems with some of the local customers, though. I live in a considerably poor neighbourhood and there are different types of scumbags who live there. There is this group of 10 people, in their late 40s and 50s, who are alcoholics and were sitting at the coffee tables until dark, as if this was the local pub. When I asked them to leave, because it went past 20:00 and I had to take the tables to the shop. I was yelled by them drunks and later by B as well, because I was "losing frequent customers for being rude and disrespectful to them", even though I almost ended up in a knife fight with one disgusting animal.
The cherry on the cake was the incident with an entitled mother, because she had sent her child to buy her beer and cigarettes and I refused to sell the items to him, because it is against the law. I then got a fine of 30 Euros by B and was pretty pissed.
In the last week of my work, in the beginning of June, B asked me to go and work in other shops, stating there was a sick employee and he needed me there. It was Friday, I ended up working from 15:00 to 22:00 in the local shop, then he took me to one of the other shops, where I worked from 23:00 to 08:00 on Saturday. Then he asked me to work from 23:00 to 11:00 on Sunday and wanted me to be at 16:00 in my local shop, but I refused, because I was exhausted. He threatened to not pay me extra, and we agreed to go to the shop at 19:00, after I got some sleep (I was supposed to get at least 12 hours between the shifts, as I mentioned above, but he didn't care).
After this exhausting time B wanted to change me to another shop, but I refused due to my schooling and also because I wanted to remain in the same shop. But he got some new workers and said I would not be working until the end of the week. Eventually I understood he had terminated my contract and also refused to pay me for the last 2 weeks, nearly 200 Euros in total with the extra shifts.
There are a few more things, which are important:
Some of my free days I spent with F. She was at work and I was in the shop with her, having a chat and being together, because she had some mild form of anxiety and didn't want to remain alone. During this time I noticed she used a different combination to enter the products in the system - enter, enter, 1, enter. I understood that this would enter the items in the system, but would not send the information to the receipt machine, and this would not get a receipt and thus the boss would not have to pay VAT for the items. I also understood later that he asked for everyone else to do it, everyone but me, because I wanted everything to be legal.
There was a new coworker, whom B liked and tried to seduce. He was overtly sexist and wanted to hire attractive girls, whom to pay more and to be more clingy towards them. I didn't like that at all. So the new coworker ended up being very crooked and actually stole around 400 Euros, which B blamed me for, and said he had camera recordings, but this was all bullshit.
So after all of this I was angry and wanted revenge. Initially I spoke to a friend, who advised me to report him to the local Labour Inspection office, which I did. It almost ended with a lawsuit and I was threatened by my boss this would cost me dearly, so I backed my claim, because I needed a clean legal certificate, because I was going to the Bulgarian Naval Academy in a year and didn't want to jeopardize my future. My dad got softer on me and paid for my phone and the trip, saying I earned them, because it wasn't my fault for why I didn't have the money, it was the moron of a boss.
Years have passed. I got discharged due to medical reasons and came back to my hometown. I got a new job and was living with my father, until I get better. The shop was still owned by this prick and he was going around town in a very expensive car, and I even saw him once to smoke Cohiba cigars, which usually go 15-20 Euros a piece. In the mean time he was still paying 15-20 Euros a day to the shop assistants, and I understood he was desperate for workforce.
So I decided to turn all of this against him. I knew some of the workers, as we grew up together, and they complained how much of a crook B was. I hated him for being so cheap on his employees and so large in personal spending. We started a rumour about how bad of a boss he was and to stay away from him. Word got out and he not only started losing assistants, but no one would want to ask him for a job.
One time police was nearby. Someone had broken one of the shop's large windows with a stone and stolen a large amount of cigarettes. The losses were for about a thousand euros, from what I understood. B also had to pay for a new window, and that would cost him more. Apparently, he had pissed off a lot of people.
I also suggested to some of his former employees, whom I knew vaguely, to file individual reports against B in the local Labour inspection office, like I did all those years ago. I explained they would definitely rattle his cage. A lot of reports went in, and I understood there was a major inspection of all shops. They could also use my information, but I asked them to take me off the case, I didn't want any recompense, only to watch him burn.
Eventually, B disappeared. What I understood, is that he ended up with a lot of problems, because he was charged with mistreatment of his personnel, violation of the Labour codex, felony tax evasion and a number of other charges.
So far I know that he is somewhere in the UK, while the business is handled by his brother and wife. His shops were cut in half due to the lack of workers, and I understood they were about to close another one as well. His business is not as successful as before, and I also understood it is frequently inspected.
Now, I know B didn't end up in jail, or at least I don't know about it. But I don't care. Sooner or later everyone gets what they deserve. I will not be the person to put him behind bars, but most of those people still greet me with smiles and give me updates on the case. They also thank me for giving them the idea of filing reports and using their rights. I guess I am the mastermind behind all of this, and, to be honest, I will be extremely happy, when he gets what he deserves from being a crook and a piece of trash. And the best part is - I don't have to do anything about it.
TLDR - I had a disgusting crook for a boss during my first job. He exploited me and other employees, I suggested to them to file reports against him, and he got into a lot of trouble for this.
(source) story by (/u/zerberos666)
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More than a machine - Connor x reader - part 13
Part 1 • Part 2 • Part 3 • Part 4 • Part 5 • Part 6 • Part 7 • Part 8 • Part 9 • Part 10 • Part 11 • Part 12
You sat with Josh and felt the painkillers, that Josh had stolen somewhere, finally hitting the spot. You had eaten the poor sandwich he found and there was only a little left of the diet coke he got from a vending machine he hacked on his way back.
“I owe you, Josh. The pain is almost gone. I can actually move my shoulder without crying now.” You said with a half-smile to the android. Josh frowned at first, but gave you a light chuckle.
“I can’t imagine how it must feel like to… feel pain. Physically that is. You were lucky that it went out on the other side. Think if we had to remove it! We would have to dive right into you flesh and…”
“Thanks Josh. I don’t want to think about that.” You interrupted him and pretended that you would be sick just by the thought. That made Josh lighten up a little and he started to joke around with the android woman on the other side of him. Finding a little light in the middle of this mess was just a miracle.
Your eyes landed on Markus as he was making his way up the stairs where the altar once stood in the large church. He had been talking with people all around the church since Connor left. You guessed that he was still trying to figure out what to do. There wasn’t really much to do other than try again and again to convince the other humans to set them free. Many androids were captured and destroyed in camps all over the city. You had to at least try to rescue them. You knew it was their fight, but all other humans had to see that human can support androids too. You would be right there next to Markus, Josh or even North. So you listened when Markus spoke up.
“Humans have decided to exterminate us. Our people are packed in camps right now, being destroyed. Time has come to make a choice. One that very well may determine the future of our people.” Some of the androids around you roared as a respond to what Markus said. Some of them yelling for blood like North had done, while others were calm and collected.
“I know…. I know you are all angry. And I know you want to fight back. But I assure you, violence is not the answer here. We are going to tell them peacefully that we want justice. If there’s any humanity in them, they will listen. And if not, others will take our place and continue this fight. Are you ready to follow me?” There was a collective roar around you and everyone that was able to, stood up to cheer.
As the cheers slowly died out and the main crew of Markus, North and Josh stood discussing the last few things before leaving, the giants male android that was with Kara and Alice, stood in front of you and reached out his hand. Luther, you recalled Kara calling him.
“Can you help us before we leave?” He said as you took his hand and stood up.
“Sure. Anything.” Kara and Alice were too kind and too fragile to go into a war like this, so if you could help in any way, you would do it. Luther didn’t let go of you. He was supporting you as you walked. You were too grateful by his action, that you didn’t tell him that you didn’t really need his support, you were just limping a little. He guided you to Kara and Alice. Alice stood with her arms around Kara’s legs and looked smaller than before.
“We need to get out of here before hell breaks loose. I don’t want Alice to get hurt.” Kara said. She sounded stressed out and with good reason. People around you started to move towards Markus; ready to follow him.
“What can I help you with?” You said determined.
“We need to go to the Canadian border. We met a woman, Rose that is just like you, that helps androids. She said that it is safe for us in Canada. We need to find a way to get there.” You looked around for a moment. You didn’t know where this abandon church was, but if it was anywhere near the harbour where Jericho was, there wouldn’t be too far to the nearest bus stop.
“I have to admit I don’t know exactly where we are. But I know that the infrastructure in the city is amazing. If we are anywhere near the harbour you should be able to catch a bus from one of the main road further west. If they are still driving that is. I don’t know if the rest of the city has declared state of emergency.”
“Thank you y/n. I hope you are right with the busses.” Kara said and hugged Alice to her side.
“Please be careful out there. The police are everywhere and they might be checking everyone when they pass.”
“I will make sure they get to the border.” Luther said and you knew that he meant every word.
Right before everyone started to leave, you saw the three of them leave out of the other end of the heavily damaged church along with a few others that wanted to that the chance and get to the Canadian border. No one would blame them because what Markus was about to do had a very small survival chance. With just one action by a few hundred androids he had to turn the opinion around for the whole population of America. But you trusted Markus like everyone else around you did. So you followed along with the androids up to Woodward Avenue.
-------------------------------------------------------
It was late at night. Close to midnight you thought, by how the moon was rising on the sky. A sudden sound of propellers was around you and you flickered with the memories of the clearing of Jericho, but looking up you saw a small helicopter with a news logo on the side. It was the media that had gotten a hint and wanted to cover what was happening. No matter how this ended, it would be written about in the history books.
When you turned the corner on Woodward Avenue you gasped when you saw the police forces standing there. They were ready to greet the androids with fire. You were walking right behind Markus and were waiting for him to react, but he didn’t do anything at first.
“Surrender immediately or we will open fire!” Screamed one of the armed men and you could feel Josh walk closer to you for the next few steps. Markus stopped and then the rest of you stopped as well.
“We don’t want confrontation. We are protesting peacefully.” Markus yelled back at the soldiers.
“I repeat, surrender now or we will open fire!” The same man screamed as the ground started to shake. You looked worrisome around to see two huge tanks drive up behind you and the androids along with many armoured vehicle. They blocked the path behind you and you were now stuck in the middle.
“There is no going back now.” Markus said as much to himself as to all of you. Many of the androids looked nervously around.
“We are here to demand the immediate liberation of all androids detained in camps across the country. We are not leaving until out people are free.” Markus said loudly again, so the soldiers could hear. You limped a few stepped further up closer to Markus as the blitz from a camera came from your left. You looked passed the barricades that was places along the pavement and a dozen of journalises where standing there with cameras and microphones to get the best cover of the action.
“They have a human with them!” One of them suddenly shouted.
“Its y/n! From the first protest down town!” Yelled another. It made a lot of movement in the soldiers that were still pointing their guns at the protesting androids but looked like they were lost. They waited until someone stepped in the middle of them and barked an order that only they could hear. Afterward they all stood straight and one of them yelled the stupidest thing you had ever heard.
“Let the human go!” You were close to laughing and shook your head. You stepped forward, up next to Markus so they all could see.
“I am here by my own free will. I am here to fight for the androids rights! I am only limping because of YOU!” You pointed at the soldiers and they all looked confused again as they looked at each other.
“Let her go or we will open fire!” The commander yelled again and they threw your arms in the air in disbeliefs.
“I am here on my own!” You screamed with all you had in you. It was shrill but you wanted them all to hear.
“Fire!” was yelled before you could react. Luckily for you, one of the androids jumped to you and threw you to the ground as the first bullets flew. The pain from you shoulder was much greater than what the painkillers could keep away but your mind were somewhere else. A lot of androids got hit, but only few of them fell to the ground. You looked at those who were the unlucky once and started to tear up. The android that helped you were the WR400 you once helped. She was the second one you had taken in after Markus. She looked at you with a smile and you were glad to see that she was still alive. But when she got up to follow the rest that were still marching towards the soldiers, you could see that she had a bullet hole in her back. She had saved your life.
“Fire!” Were yelled again and more androids fell around you as they continued walking.
“Are you going to open fire at unarmed protesters?” Markus said loud but calmly to the armed men and you could hear the flicking of cameras sounded from the barricades again. The media were loving this and it was a good way to show who was right and who was clearly wrong in this.
The moment after Markus took a decision and sat down on the ground. All the other androids followed around you. You supported yourself on your good arm as you sat up along with them. The reporters were talking fast, taking pictures and filming while the helicopter was still hanging over you. You were sure that that was the reason for the commander of the soldiers to make them hold the fire.
Hurry up Connor.
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tags: @vda-writes @mundane-cup-noodles @superanonymousreader @aya-fay @dragonempress123 @talle-2002@jamiethenerdymonster @i-resent-this-hellsite @i-do-wat-i-want @syrinxgm@queerfandomtrash @missjayi @belleknows@veerniks @dylan-o-yumm @wonderlustedchild@cliche-female-protagonist @omegachizu @black-and-white-eyes
#Connor#connor x reader#connor imagine#connor army#Hi my name is Connor#detroit#detroit become human#detroit being human#detroit become connor#detroit become human fan fiction#fanfiction#fan fiction#fanfic#Connor fanfiction#rk800#connor rk800#andorid#connor the andriod sent by cyberlife#androids
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200-1 :3
200: My crush’s name is: @when-youcant-sleepat-night199: I was born in: England198: I am really: irritating197: My cellphone company is: Tesco!196: My eye color is: grey, sometimes green or sometimes blue195: My shoe size is: 8194: My ring size is: I have no idea, but I have thick fingers193: My height is: 5′9 and a half192: I am allergic to: Most bug bites191: My 1st car was: I have no idea what make it is... there’s a funny bird looking thing on the front though190: My 1st job was: Primark189: Last book you read: The Sex Lives Of Siamese Twins188: My bed is: currently lacking @when-youcant-sleepat-night187: My pet: sucks, she stalks me186: My best friend: is my girlfriend185: My favorite shampoo is: Palmer’s Organic Coconut!!184: Xbox or ps3: PS3 who do you think I am183: Piggy banks are: terrible,, my ADHD brain cannot deal182: In my pockets: are a pack of soothers 181: On my calendar: my girlfriend visiting soon180: Marriage is: definitely happening, sometime soon.. tell my girlfriend to marry me179: Spongebob can: get it178: My mom: sucks, she’s manipulative177: The last three songs I bought were? I dont buy songs! but my newest was Even If It’s A Lie by Matt Maltese176: Last YouTube video watched: Kitchen Nightmares US175: How many cousins do you have? two! They’re both under 5174: Do you have any siblings? - biologically 5, technically 3173: Are your parents divorced? - nope, but probably should be172: Are you taller than your mom? - almost!171: Do you play an instrument? - I play a few... Piano, bass, sometimes guitar170: What did you do yesterday? - College, unfortunately[ I Believe In ]169: Love at first sight: I do!168: Luck: definitely167: Fate: yup!166: Yourself: never165: Aliens: of course164: Heaven: nope163: Hell: nope! wish I did though162: God: I believe in higher power, but not one set God, perhaps many161: Horoscopes: very much so160: Soul mates: hell yeh159: Ghosts: on the fence158: Gay Marriage: you’re asking a lesbian..157: War: never, never ever156: Orbs: I have no idea what this is.. and as a witch I probably should155: Magic: of course![ This or That ]154: Hugs or Kisses: 153: Drunk or High:152: Phone or Online:151: Red heads or Black haired:150: Blondes or Brunettes:149: Hot or cold:148: Summer or winter:147: Autumn or Spring:146: Chocolate or vanilla:145: Night or Day:144: Oranges or Apples:143: Curly or Straight hair:142: McDonalds or Burger King: (I’m allergic to McDonalds though.. but I love it)141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate:140: Mac or PC:139: Flip flops or high heels: neither138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: I’m already ugly, I have nothing to lose137: Coke or Pepsi:136: Hillary or Obama:135: Burried or cremated:134: Singing or Dancing:133: Coach or Chanel:132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: ... who?131: Small town or Big city:130: Wal-Mart or Target: I’m British129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler:128: Manicure or Pedicure:127: East Coast or West Coast:126: Your Birthday or Christmas:125: Chocolate or Flowers:124: Disney or Six Flags:123: Yankees or Red Sox: ...what?[ Here’s What I Think About ]122: War: childish, unnecessary, unreasonable, avoidable121: George Bush: cunt120: Gay Marriage: bombest shit ever119: The presidential election: rigged, put a lesbian in office118: Abortion: let people do what they want117: MySpace: I’m too young for that 116: Reality TV: good for when I don’t want my brain. British reality tv is the best115: Parents: wish I had good ones114: Back stabbers: worthless, hurt people hurt people113: Ebay: 90% shitty112: Facebook: everyone middle aged mother 111: Work: makes me hate people even more110: My Neighbors: are crazy, one sweeps the pavement with a paint brush and the other practices the unicycle109: Gas Prices: ridiculous108: Designer Clothes: kinda pointless107: College: wish it didn’t exist106: Sports: sO overrated105: My family: I love my sisters104: The future: is bright[ Last time I ]103: Hugged someone: Friday102: Last time you ate: yesterday101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: no idea100: Cried in front of someone: yesterday99: Went to a movie theater: a couple months ago with my sister98: Took a vacation: start of September 97: Swam in a pool: years ago96: Changed a diaper: no idea95: Got my nails done: never94: Went to a wedding: two years ago93: Broke a bone: never92: Got a peircing: last October91: Broke the law: 3 months ago90: Texted: hour ago[ MISC ]89: Who makes you laugh the most: @when-youcant-sleepat-night88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my sister and my cat87: The last movie I saw: Pride86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: seeing my girlfriend85: The thing im not looking forward to: her leaving84: People call me: the baby83: The most difficult thing to do is: focus82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: never81: My zodiac sign is: gemini80: The first person i talked to today was: my girlfriend 79: First time you had a crush: two years ago on my best friend78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: @when-youcant-sleepat-night77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: ten minutes ago76: Right now I am talking to: my girlfriend 75: What are you going to do when you grow up: maybe die, who knows 74: I have/will get a job: ... I have a job?73: Tomorrow: I wanna sleep72: Today: I wanna cuddle my baby71: Next Summer: move out70: Next Weekend: get cuddled69: I have these pets: I have three cats!!68: The worst sound in the world: squeeky cardboard67: The person that makes me cry the most is: Liam goddam Neeson66: People that make you happy: my sister, my girlfriend, bts 65: Last time I cried: a couple hours ago64: My friends are: non existent63: My computer is: shitty,, Toshiba62: My School: makes me wanna die61: My Car: is broken60: I lose all respect for people who: cheat59: The movie I cried at was: Marley and Me58: Your hair color is: brown and ginger57: TV shows you watch: Come Dine With Me, anything with Gordon Ramsay, The Apprentice56: Favorite web site: Tumblr55: Your dream vacation: my girlfriends bed54: The worst pain I was ever in was: depression was a bitch, but I also had tonsillitis that turned septic53: How do you like your steak cooked: I don’t like steak52: My room is: small, cold
51: My favorite celebrity is: Min Yoongi or Kim Heechul50: Where would you like to be: @when-youcant-sleepat-night‘s bed49: Do you want children: I really do, atleast 148: Ever been in love: legit right now47: Who’s your best friend: @when-youcant-sleepat-night46: More guy friends or girl friends: mostly girls45: One thing that makes you feel great is: cuddles44: One person that you wish you could see right now: my girlfriend 43: Do you have a 5 year plan: I dont even have a plan for the next five minutes 42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: be happy41: Have you pre-named your children: nope, not at all40: Last person I got mad at: my mother39: I would like to move to: Wales or Ireland38: I wish I was a professional: musician[ My Favorites ]37: Candy: Kinder Bueno36: Vehicle: Jeeps35: President: Obama34: State visited: Florida33: Cellphone provider: wtf32: Athlete: I don’t know any31: Actor: Ezra Miller30: Actress: Sarah Paulson29: Singer: Park Jimin28: Band: The Smashing Pumpkins27: Clothing store: Urban Outfitter26: Grocery store: Aldi25: TV show: Come Dine With Me24: Movie: Girl Interrupted23: Website: Tumblr22: Animal: Panda21: Theme park: Thorpe Park20: Holiday: haven’t been on one I’ve liked19: Sport to watch: Hockey18: Sport to play: Trampolining17: Magazine: Kerrang16: Book: The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier15: Day of the week: Saturday14: Beach: I hate beaches :(13: Concert attended: BTS12: Thing to cook: noodles11: Food: anything cheesy10: Restaurant: Nandos9: Radio station: I don’t know any8: Yankee candle scent: cupcake7: Perfume: vanilla, Britney Spears ones are good though!6: Flower: Sunflowers5: Color: Green4: Talk show host: James Corden3: Comedian: Lee Evans2: Dog breed: Cats1: Did you answer all these truthfully? hopefully
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Break My Heart: Chapter 12 (A Solangelo Fanfiction)
The penultimate chapter of Break My Heart finally arrives. I honestly can’t believe the next chapter is the last chapter, it’s sort of crazy. Anyways, this is a lot of set up, end of the summer, making fun of Maine, zombie summoning, and first kisses. So, I hope everyone enjoys!
Read on Tumblr: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11
Read on AO3
Preview:
“I’m just saying you should throw the jacket in the lake. Or I can convince one of the satyrs to lend me the snowplow and I can accidentally take out the dock,” Cecil offered. “That way your dream can’t come true.”
“I’m not sure the nymphs would be okay with that plan,” Lou Ellen said as she took a sip of her Moxie that she had gotten in a care package from her dad. Cecil had opened his own and was taking experimental sips. Will had been stealing sips and still wasn’t entirely sure of the drink. Actually, he pretty sure that it was a Yank thing and that New Englanders were crazy.
“I don’t think I would be okay with that plan either,” Will told them with a dreamy sigh as he thought about Nico for probably the hundredth time that day, but with the leather jacket on it was such pretty picture. “I like the leather jacket.”
“You are so extra,” Lou Ellen said, sounding exasperated.
“I know,” Will added with a probably very dopey looking grin. “But I love it.”
“So I guess due to Will’s inability to resist bad boys we’re all at an impasse,” Cecil said with a shrug.
“I’m just saying you should throw the jacket in the lake. Or I can convince one of the satyrs to lend me the snowplow and I can accidentally take out the dock,” Cecil offered. “That way your dream can’t come true.”
“I’m not sure the nymphs would be okay with that plan,” Lou Ellen said as she took a sip of her Moxie that she had gotten in a care package from her dad. Cecil had opened his own and was taking experimental sips. Will had been stealing sips and still wasn’t entirely sure of the drink. Actually, he pretty sure that it was a Yank thing and that New Englanders were crazy.
“I don’t think I would be okay with that plan either,” Will told them with a dreamy sigh as he thought about Nico for probably the hundredth time that day, but with the leather jacket on it was such pretty picture. “I like the leather jacket.”
“You are so extra,” Lou Ellen said, sounding exasperated.
“I know,” Will added with a probably very dopey looking grin. “But I love it.”
“So I guess due to Will’s inability to resist bad boys we’re all at an impasse,” Cecil said with a shrug.
“Hey,” Will said with narrowed eyes before he leaned back on the blanket and stared at the sky. The sky stared back at him, a forgiving robin’s egg blue, and clouds that were white and puffy passed by. Will sighed, letting his arms flop at his side. Lou Ellen poked his stomach, making Will huff and swat her away with a chuckle. “I’m just happy to let things go as they will.”
“Really? Really?” Cecil said, sounding not so convinced. “You are fine to just go with the flow? Are you sick or something? That is the least Will Solace-like thing I think I have ever heard you say.”
“Oh shut up, I’m very chill,” Will told him as he kicked out his leg to poke Cecil, who pretended to be injured and rolled dramatically off the blanket and onto the grass. He wiggled around much like a pony who had just gotten out of the stable. “You wish you were as chill as me.”
“But really Will? You are fine to let things be as they are,” Lou Ellen asked as she leaned over him, brushing a curl behind her ear. Her green eyes were concerned and Will tried to meet her gaze with a comforting smile. As far as he could tell, it didn’t really work to alleviate Lou Ellen’s very fair concerns.
“What else can I do?” Will asked with a sigh. “Since when has messing with the fate the gods give us been a good idea? Everything will work out one way or another I think.”
“Amen to that Brother,” Cecil said as he clapped his hands together as if in prayer, returning to his spot on the blanket between the Mountain Dew and the Doritos. Will just scoffed at his friend’s ridiculousness.
“You are both impossible,” Lou Ellen said with a shake of her head before her gaze caught on something. Will sat up, following her gaze to where Jason Grace and Piper McLean were laughing and talking down by the dock. “And talking about impossible.”
“I thought you weren’t interested in girls,” Cecil asked as he propped his head up on his chin.
“I’m not all that interested in boys either, but if I was, now that’s a Big Three son that I can appreciate aesthetically if you catch my drift,” Lou Ellen said with a dramatical toss of her hair. “I wouldn’t mind putting a spell on him, that’s for sure. If I wouldn’t get in trouble with Chiron for not being responsible with the use of my magic that is.”
“He’s a relatively good-looking dude,” Cecil submitted for questioning. Lou Ellen stifled her cackles under her hand before clearing her throat of her burst of merriment.
“I wouldn’t say that in the vicinity of Ares Cabin or you might either break somebody’s heart or get a broken bone somewhere,” Lou Ellen warned him. Cecil just gave her a look before snagging a potato chip and crunching it annoyingly between his teeth.
“He’s…decent,” Will said before shrugging, “I think Piper’s way cuter though.”
“She does have the daughter of Aphrodite thing going for her,” Cecil pointed out.
“That she really does, and the dad being famous thing,” Lou Ellen said.
“My mom’s famous,” Will said as he sat up. “And I have a parent who’s a god. Do I have that going for me?”
“But your dad’s Apollo and he sided with the Trojans soooo…” Cecil said before fist bumping Lou Ellen.
“Screw you guys—also didn’t Aphrodite like basically start the Trojan War?”
“Oh, hey,” a voice cut into their conversation. All three of them looked up from their stand-off to see a rather confused Jason Grace, his hand which was raised in a wave seemingly wilted under their attention. “Were you guys busy?”
“No, hey, what’s up?” Will said, giving his friends a warning look before turning his attention to Jason. He pushed his glasses up on the bridge of his nose, and shifted on his feet. He gave them all a rather hopeful look.
“Piper pawned some sandwiches and cookies off the dryads and we were both wondering if you guys wanted any?”
“Any Reubens?” Cecil asked for hopefully.
“I think so,” Jason told him.
“I’m so there,” Cecil said as he stood up. “We got chips and cheese puffs and soda, why don’t we pull the blanket over there too?”
“Sounds good, I’ll go tell Piper,” Jason said as he went to relay the message. Will quickly folded up the blanket as Lou Ellen and Cecil packed up the snacks for transport. Jason and Piper had set up their stuff right by the dock, and Piper smiled as they spread their stuff out and joined them. Will snagged a turkey sandwich, while Piper cracked open a coke and took a swig. She immediately cringed.
“What is this?”
“Everyone needs to stop dissing my Moxie,” Lou Ellen grumbled as she took a vengeful looking gulp.
“It’s not our fault that you South-Canada folks have a wacky concept of what coke should taste like,” Will said.
“First off, don’t call Maine ‘South-Canada’, secondly it’s not even coke why do you call all soda coke?”
“I actually kind of like it. It tastes…well, if Coca Cola and Dr. Pepper had a baby or something,” Jason said as he bumped shoulders with Piper who just smiled up at him. The way that Jason smiled back at Piper like she was some kind of gift was ridiculously cute. Alright, Will sort of had to grudgingly admit Jason Grace was really cute in the way that boys were made cuter when you found out that they were utterly sweet to girlfriends, their mothers, and fluffy puppies they rescued from animal shelters.
“Thank you, Jason. Thank you,” Lou Ellen said with a huff.
“So sensitive,” Will teased and got a jab in the side for it.
“So tell me this, what are your guys’ plans for the school year?” Cecil asked curiously changing the subject to keep Lou Ellen from spitting out any curses. “You heading back to California?”
“Yeah, we’re going to be going to high school out there, living with my dad with Hedge maybe,” Piper explained. “Chiron said underaged demigods not living in the camps really should have a protector especially Big Three Kids.”
“You excited?” Lou Ellen asked.
“Very,” Jason said with a smile. “It’s all going to be a nice change, you know I’ll still be busy but I’ve never actually gone to a…you know…high school. I’m looking forward to it all, even though that probably sounds pretty lame.”
“Not lame at all,” Will promised him. “You do sort of deserve a little time off to enjoy the pleasures of being a normal high school student.”
“Better hope that the world doesn’t almost end in this upcoming year, huh?” Piper asked Jason as she tossed him a smile that would’ve melted a glacier.
“Oh Gods don’t even jinx us,” Jason told her warningly, looking up at the sky like his dad might pop down any second with some kind of awful revelations. When that didn’t happen, it seemed appropriate for all of them to burst out into well-meaning laughter. But only after, for good measure.
“Well, that’s what we’re up to for the coming school year. What about you guys? What are you doing?” Piper asked as she stretched a leg out and leaned against Jason, who put an arm over her shoulders. She leaned against him and stole his chips as if it were the most natural thing in the world, and Jason let her do it, only occasionally not giving up a chip.
“I think we’re all staying,” Will told her. There was a very noticeable glint in her eyes at that information.
“So is Nico,” Piper said with an innocent smile. “Good, I’m glad he’ll have some friendly faces around here. Make sure he socializes and eats and all that good stuff, okay?”
“Oh, and badger him to Iris message us. I know he won’t, even if I ask him too,” Jason added.
Will suddenly felt lightheaded. Summer was well and truly ending, yes, but in the few days after their decision to officially “go out” plans for the near-future hadn’t been discussed at all. Will hadn’t even thought that Nico would stay. But then again, what else was Nico going to do? The idea of Nico going out and attempting to live as normal of a high school life as he could was almost laughable, and Nico certainly didn’t have anywhere else to call home. But still, Nico would be there with Will and he might have time and the space to take whatever fledgling thing that was between them and make a full-blown relationship. Just the thought alone was enough to redden Will’s cheeks.
“Yeah, we will,” Will promised Jason and Piper, before they continued to eat their impromptu lunch together.
“You guys be good, okay? Antonio, don’t drive your mother crazy. Violet, good luck and let me know when your next performance is alright? Emma, if you have any issues in school you let me know, kay? We’ll try to work it out but you have to try to bring up your math grades alright? I know it sucks but you can do it.”
“Yes, Will,” his three younger siblings said as they all hugged him. Violet sniffed and Will wiped away her tears. Will also fixed the buttons on Antonio’s shirt and watched, very pleased, as he took Violet’s hand.
“Love you guys, I’ll talk to you soon okay?” Will promised them. They all promised the same before entering the bus. They all waved at him from the window until the bus pulled away and left him standing alone. Kayla and Austin having already left and gone to say good bye to their own friends.
“You staying for another winter?” Drew Tanaka asked him as she stood next to him, quirking one brow that was perfectly on fleek. She was dressed more like she was walking onto a catwalk as opposed to a school bus in a high-waisted patterned pants, high-heeled boots, and a fleece lined denim jacket but Will didn’t think he could fault her. To Drew Tanaka the whole world was a catwalk to slay.
“That would be the plan, I can’t seem to get enough of this place,” Will said with a shrug.
“And enough of one boy?” Drew asked as she walked in front of him, fingers twisted and knotted behind her back.
“Don’t be petty,” Will told her, amused by her antics rather than annoyed. She scoffed and twisted a strand of hair around her finger.
“As if. Sweetie, I wrote the textbook on petty,” Drew told him before giving a long-suffering sigh. She was following the track of the kids who were loading up to the bus with her eyes, following Percy and Annabeth as they spoke with Nico. Will wondered idly what she saw in them but as always he was way too afraid to ask. Will knew better than to get Drew going if he could help it. “I can do without Camp Half-Blood for a couple months, since this place is so dreadfully uncool. Like, it’s desert status for sensible footwear and life choices.”
“I think the place has its charms,” Will said with a scoff of his own before smiling fondly. “And we have important memories of important people here. That’s the special thing.”
“Ugh, you are so sentimental,” Drew said with a crinkle of her button nose. “You are going to make me barf, for real.”
“Your bowel functions are the least of my worries young lady,” Will told her with a roll of his eyes.
“Gods, this is why Selena liked you,” Drew told him as she crossed her arms over her chest. “You are such a mom friend.”
“And yet again you prove why Michael thought you could dish out an insult like no other,” Will told her with a smile. She gave him one in return. “Don’t get into too much trouble out there, Drew. Otherwise I’ll definitely hear about it, and I really don’t want to.”
“Me get into trouble? Ha, no. The people I go to school with? Most definitely. Gods, you should have seen who turned up to one of our school dances,” Drew said, before with a toss of her hair and a sway of her hips. She paused for a moment and looked back, seemed to twice think about it, and then she was off to torment another group of kids for the school year. Will turned only to see Clarisse waiting for him to finish up with Drew. She offered her arm, and he took it in a grip.
“We may have had our moments, and by moments I mean sometimes I couldn’t deal with your pansy-ass—”
“Clarisse, you have always had a way with words. Want me to make them rhyme?” Will asked, causing her to cackle as she met his gaze firmly.
“I’ll be with Chris in Arizona, but I’ll try to come up and visit as often as I can. You know, just to check on the kids. It was an honor to serve beside you, both in combat and at home. I’ll be counting on you. I’ve worked with Sherman to prepare him, but as you know, nothing can really match experience. I’ll leave him to you.”
“And I shall do my best, though as you know, it’s very hard to keep Ares kids alive.”
“Don’t I know it,” Clarisse said, and with one more parting nod she left.
“Will!” Katie called and suddenly he was nearly run over by a bunch of the Demeter kids but mostly Katie who seemed content to hug the stuffing out of him. This was followed by a good portion of kids who wanted to wish Will a good year and good luck.
By the time the rest of the buses finally departed Will felt like he had filled his hug quota for the next few months. As always, the day of the end of the summer camp was generally a day where Chiron let everyone have off from regular programed camp activities. With Kayla and Austin off doing their own things, Will felt like he was drifting aimlessly through camp without any specific direction. This was always his least favorite part, Will thought ruefully. He decided that going to the infirmary and moping for a while was probably his best bet, so he began dragging his feet in that direction.
“Will,” Nico’s voice cut into his wandering. Will looked over to see Nico standing by the training fields.
“Hey, what are you doing over here?” Will asked as he jogged over.
“I was waiting for you,” Nico said plainly, as if he were stating an obvious fact. Will’s cheeks suddenly grew warm, and his heart leapt into his throat at Nico’s attention. Will wasn’t sure he would ever get used to this, but he hoped he would. He didn’t think his heart would take it if it stuttered like that all of the time.
“For me?” Will asked him, not quite believing that this was real.
“Yeah,” Nico said shortly. He was running leggings and a tee-shirt, despite the cool weather was without his jacket. “I was going to train, I was wondering if you wanted to train with me.”
“Train? Like, with a sword?”
“That would be the idea?”
“With me?”
“Yes, Will. With you.”
“Why?”
“Because you are the godsdamn Pope, obviously,” Nico huffed before adding under his breath. “Are you seriously that dense?”
“I don’t know, it sort of sounds like you want to spend time with me,” Will teased as he knocked his shoulder against Nico.
“In your dreams,” Nico told him as he moved forward a few steps.
“Probably,” Will admitted. Nico didn’t turn around but the way he slightly stumbled over his feet made Will smile. When Nico threw a practice sword at him, Will caught it before putting on a familiar set of armor. Nico decided against it, per usual, but with a few badgering words Will at least got Nico to put on a chest piece.
As always Will was utterly outmatched by Nico. Nico fought more like a wild animal and less like any person that Will had ever met. He struck out hard and fast and seemingly disappeared as soon as a person attempted to get in their own blow. Nico was always just out of reach, and he always managed to disarm Will rather quickly. It also didn’t help that Will was almost laughably bad at sword play. He could hold his head up with the bow, but no matter how much he practiced he always felt clumsy and uncoordinated with a sword.
At one point, after a well- placed body slam Will ended up sprawled face up on the grass, staring up, exhausted, and with his hair sticking to his neck. He winced as he sat up, and unhooked the heavy chest-piece of his armor before tugging off his shirt with a bit of grumbling. Free and feeling much cooler, Will lay back down on the slightly wet grass and decided that maybe commiserating would get him out of another round of ass-whooping.
“I don’t think I’m helping you much,” Will commented as Nico sheathed his sword, he was still looking away from him as he did so.
“You aren’t,” Nico conceded, “but that wasn’t the point I think.”
“Then what was the point?” Will asked as he played with the beads on his necklace.
“Maybe I thought it would be nice to spend time with you.”
“When you say it like that, I might start thinking you like me,” Will told him with a grin. Nico rolled his eyes, but Will noticed the pink color in his cheeks. “If that’s how you feel I don’t mind it when you beat me up, so, feel free to do so any time.”
“Oh? Really?” Nico said as he flopped down next to Will.
“Yeah since it gives me a chance to look at your legs, which, I have to say look very nice.”
“Shut up, Solace,” Nico told him as he tugged on Will’s necklace. Will traced the line of his mouth, seeing Nico’s gaze catch his.
“Shutting up.”
Will’s heart fluttered in his chest at the sight of Nico’s expression softening. It was the way that Nico just warmed, his sharp features complimented by the sweetness. Will didn’t realize he was reaching out before his hand smoothed against Nico’s cheek.
“Hey,” Will said, feeling starstruck and forgetting what he had just even said, as well as his name, home address and phone number, and what year it was.
“Hi,” Nico said almost shyly, eyelids fluttering. “I’m glad you are feeling better, you looked so down earlier and I didn’t know what to do to make you feel better and I—”
“Nico, you’re babbling,” Will said with a laugh.
“Sorry, nervous habit,” Nico conceded.
“Am I making you nervous?” Will asked worriedly, tracing down Nico’s cheek, to his jaw, fingers trailing against his neck. Nico was cool to his touch, and Will could feel Nico’s heart thrumming in his veins just as hard as his was.
“No, not really,” Nico said as he caught Will’s hand.
“Then what—”
“Can I kiss you?” Nico asked suddenly, before Will could get another word out edgewise. As if had Nico not spoken up at that very moment, he would have lost his nerve completely. Will blinked furiously, resisting the urge to pinch himself to check if this was a dream.
“Me?” Will asked with a very undignified squeak, his voice creeping up numerous octaves to accommodate. Nico squeezed Will’s hand in his own.
“No, Austin. Yes, you, you dork,” Nico said with a scowl.
“Okay,” Will said way too quickly. “But I just want to tell you that I haven’t brushed my teeth since before breakfast and I probably still smell from the training and I—”
Nico dove down on him and Will ceased thinking all together. From the angle that Nico had descended on him their lips didn’t quite match up perfectly, but as far as he was concerned they didn’t have to. Goosebumps broke out over Will’s skin, heat crawled up his throat, and his heart pounded wetly in his ears. One second, the light pressure of Nico’s soft peck on his lips. The next second Nico was balancing back on his knees and his heels, and Will was staring at Nico completely dumbfounded.
“You were babbling,” Nico said.
“I…huh?” Will asked, feeling lightheaded. “What?”
“So was it okay?” Nico asked hopefully, his cheeks burning red and Will could see he was struggling to keep his neutral expression, but a crooked yet elated grin was attempting to tug at his lips. Kissed lips, lips that Will had just kissed. They had just kissed. Will suddenly felt as if Nico had gifted him the moon.
“I don’t know. I think we have to do it again,” Will told Nico sheepishly as he sat up. “I think I just blanked out or messed up or something.”
“You are ridiculous,” Nico told him with a huff. “It was fine, we don’t have to do it again—”
“Just fine? Our first kiss was just fine? Okay, so we totally need to have a better second kiss,” Will said eagerly resting his forehead against Nico’s, meeting his dark gaze. “Unless, you don’t want another kiss? If you don’t want another, that’s fine. But…but I’d like to kiss you this time. Otherwise it wouldn’t be fair.”
“Fair, huh?” Nico asked, eyes flitting to the side.
“You children of Hades are all about the fairness, or so I’ve gathered.”
“Are you trying to steal a kiss off me?” Nico said as he leaned forward
“It’s not stealing if you are repaying one kiss for another,” Will said back.
“You are absolutely ridiculous.”
“I am,” Will breathed before he kissed Nico again. Nico pressed against him, Will moving his lips against Nico as one kiss melted into the next, into the next. Nico’s fingers were curled in Will’s hair and brushing against the back of his neck and setting his skin on fire. Nico gave a gasp as Will curled his fingers with his, as Will immediately felt as if his stomach was twisting into knots. Will pulled away as fast as he could, taking in a deep breath.
“What’s wrong?” Nico asked suddenly, blinking furiously as if he were dazed.
“I feel really light headed,” Will said as he clapped his hands on his burning cheeks. “And I just got the feeling that if we kept kissing it’d be bad for my health.”
“Oh…oh,” Nico said dumbly.
“Thank you,” Will said as he turned away slightly gathering up his shirt, resisting the urge to trace his tingling mouth.
“Why did you just thank me?” Nico asked confused.
“For…uh…kissing me?” Will offered, and when Nico snorted he leveled a glare that felt anything but truthful as Will struggled to pull back on his shirt. Finally wrangling it on correctly, he huffed. “I don’t know, what else am I supposed to say.”
“You’re an idiot, Will Solace,” Nico said as he offered his hand.
“I am, sorry about that,” Will said with a smile as Nico helped to haul him up.
“That’s alright, it’s one of the things I like about you.”
“Gods above and below, I hate this about you. Why are you like this?” Nico demanded, arms crossed across his chest.
Will and Nico were standing at the edge of a crossfire. Will was refusing to back down on this one, even though Lou Ellen was watching from the side with Cecil like two spectators viewing a tennis match, eyes flitting between them, and Austin and Kayla had hidden behind some benches though they were peaking out every once in a while.
“I’m sorry that I’m trying to keep you from keeling over,” Will said with a huff.
They were standing slightly past the main section of the training grounds, where Lou Ellen had scrawled a huge magic circle into the ground. Nico was standing inside of it, tapping his foot impatiently. Will sighed as he faced off against him. Nico was glaring at Will, which was relatively intimidating, but if that was enough to deter Will from his purpose then he wouldn’t have gotten as far as he had in life.
“I’m fine, I don’t understand why we are doing all of this!” Nico snapped at Will. “I’ve never needed a magic circle before, and I swear it’s messing up my jumps.”
“Because first off, we’re practicing your powers to see what you can actually do, and I don’t want you to stretch yourself too thing. Secondly, I don’t want you to ooze dark energy all over the place. And thirdly, and this one here’s the kicker, because I don’t want you to die!”
“Fight me,” Nico dared, eyes sparking with the challenge.
“You keep being stubborn and I’ll go over there and make you regret saying that!”
“Do it, Solace!” Sherman called from the side not missing the opportunity to egg on a fight. Miranda smacked the back of his head.
“No, Will, that’s possibly the worst idea!” Kayla cried out.
“Fine, we’ll keep the stupid circle,” Nico huffed, his heart obviously not in the fight for real.
“Good,” Will said resolutely. “Okay. Let’s see how this goes.”
To be all honest, Will wasn’t entirely hopeful about this little experience. It wasn’t that he didn’t want Nico to succeed, just the opposite, Will wanted Nico’s powers to work for him. Will’s own powers certainly didn’t come without a price if he wasn’t being careful. Will had gained a healthy fear of second degree burns through his many trials and errors. But Will had never been afraid of his own powers, afraid that the use of them could make him disappear. Will had no idea whatsoever how that fear might translate, or even be proven true.
Nico planted his feet apart in a track start, as if he were planning to run the 100 meter dash. His eyes were trained on the thicket of trees and the darkness in the shade. Nico pushed off and sprinted past the crowd of curious onlookers. Without stopping he dove straight into shadow, which pulsed and twitched as if it were alive and then swallowed him up whole.
“Holy Hera, he’s gone,” Cecil commented from the side.
“Where do you think he’s going?” Austin asked, popping his head up from behind the bench.
As if to answer his question, there was a distant scream. Will had the strangest sensation as if his feet had been dunked in ice water. Will yelped and fell over as suddenly his shadow bulged and Nico came falling out of it. Nico skidded, hit the side of the magic circle, bounced off like a sugar high kid bounce house, and lay in a groaning heap on his back.
“Are you alright?” Will asked worriedly as he knelt by Nico. Nico slammed his heels into the ground as if he were a child, glaring up at the sky as if Zeus had personally insulted him. Which, honestly, Will was sure had probably happened at some point.
“I don’t know why I can’t do this,” Nico said, colorless eyes searching his face. Will’s heart tugged into his throat, twisting something inside of him. “This should be easy…but…”
“But?”
“But nothing,” Nico huffed sitting up. Immediately his face went white, and he lost his balance. Will caught him, and for a blissful moment Nico rested against Will’s side tucked in safely by his arm. He was cool to the touch, and as Will grasped his hand for a moment Nico felt unworldly light. As if he was grasping a shadow, Will thought in a half-panic.
“Hey Lou, break the circle please?” Will requested. “Kayla, grab me a Gatorade?”
Lou Ellen smudged out an edge with her boot and Kayla ducked into the circle fast. She quickly handed Will a bright orange Gatorade, which Nico took begrudgingly. He sipped it and leaned off of Will, and thankfully this time Will sensed his full weight. He looked more material by the time he wiped his mouth and set down the bottle.
“Feel better?” Will asked hopefully.
“Yeah, a little bit,” Nico conceded. Will held out his hand and Nico allowed Will to take his own. The darkness in his veins was more active then before, but it wasn’t at a worrying level as Will had feared. But for good measure, Will sent a pulse of his power to warm Nico’s fingertips. Will looked up to see Nico staring at Will, as if he were seeing Will for the first time. The look was so intense that Will began to blush—
“Get a room!” Ellis Wakefield called to them as he walked by.
Nico went bright red, flushed and he spluttered. Will didn’t have time to formulate a response to Ellis to explain his very pointed feelings about him and his no good rotten mouth when something reached out from the ground and stopped that line of thought where it had started.
Ellis screeched as a zombie arm grabbed at his leg.
“Oh my Gods!” Austin screamed and jumped on the bench, taking Kayla with him.
“YOU STAY AWAY FROM MY BROTHER!” Sherman shouted as his war-cry and he grabbed the closest weapon which was a gardening hoe. Brandishing it like a spear, he swung it. However he wasn’t expecting the half-emerged zombie to grab it and hold on. Sherman played tug-of-war with the zombie until he wrenched the zombie’s arm off. The sudden freedom sent the hoe out of Sherman’s hands and sailing through the air until the hit a bed of flowers.
“My marigolds!” Miranda cried. “Sherman, seriously what the Hades!”
“My brother!” Sherman pointed out.
“My flowers,” Miranda said, as if it were perfectly understandable that she should put those first. Sherman made a face as if he understood her point.
“Guys! Zombie!” Cecil pointed out as he gave said one-armed zombie a thwack with a broom while Lou Ellen was searching her bag, probably for something that would make this situation worse, and Will grabbed the both of them before the zombie grabbed them and took a bite and hauled them backwards out of the zombie’s one-armed reach.
Nico unsteadily got to his feet with little fanfare. He grabbed the arm, which was seemingly scrabbling for its body but had lost its way and was under the bench that Kayla and Austin were on top of. He gave it a terse look, and it went limp and stopped grabbing at him like it was a puppy that had gotten stuck with its nose in the food bag. He handed the arm back to the zombie who smacked it a few times with his limp arm before succeeding in gripping it. Will kind of wanted to give it a gold star for effort even though he was sweating out of fear for the looming zombie apocalypse.
“You, get.” Nico ordered, shooing it with the side of his boot.
“Uaaaaaagh,” said the zombie.
“Don’t you sass me. This is your dark prince speaking, get yourself back down into the underworld. Pronto.”
“Eurk?”
“Yes I know I summoned you. But it was an accident. No- no you do not need to devour their faces, though I appreciate the thought. Now move along, nothing to see here.”
If the zombie wasn’t a zombie and wasn’t dead, Will could’ve imagined it gave Nico a cross look before disappearing back into the earth that had coughed him up like a hairball.
“Nice going Ellis,” Sherman growled at his brother and punched his shoulder.
“But this means I can summon zombies,” Nico said, very pleased with himself, clenching and unclenching his fists as if testing the raw power that was flowing through his veins. “And that didn’t even bother me one bit.”
“What did you mean you appreciate its thoughts!” Austin said in return, dramatically testing the ground with his toe as if more zombies would come popping out like daisies. Nico just shrugged, obviously not comforting Austin in the slightest.
“Okay okay, everyone let’s break this up. Lunch is starting in a few minutes, so let’s just leave it at that,” Will said as he clapped his hands to get everyone off the slightly gruesome thoughts. He convinced his siblings to get off the table before turning back to the crowd of demigods. “That was a request, I can make it an order.”
“You aren’t the boss of me,” Ellis argued.
“Ellis, how about you don’t dig your own grave,” Cecil offered, grabbing his shoulders and steering him towards the pavilion with Lou Ellen helping to tow him away. Sherman and Miranda followed, Miranda comfortably tucked into Sherman’s side.
“Well come on then, Death Boy, time for lunch,” Will said as he motioned for Nico to tag along.
“Don’t call me that,” Nico said as he stuffed his hands into his sleeves, and then put those into his pocket. He trudged forward, but only a step or two ahead of Will, Kayla, and Austin. Kayla quickly began to chatter about music lessons, Austin pitching in with his two cents every once in awhile. Austin, who was a master at the saxophone, had recently begun challenging himself with the violin to various degrees of success.
Will wasn’t really listening to Austin, he was more concerned with the way that Nico’s curls bounced when he walked. His hair really was getting long, and Will wanted nothing more than to knot his fingers in it. Will wanted to grasp Nico’s arm, to walk in step with him, but he held himself back for Nico’s sake. He had asked that they keep everything on the DL for a while, just as he got comfortable enough to say it. Will wondered with an acute form of misery how long it would be. Will would wait for Nico as long as he needed to, that was sure. And he would never out someone without explicit permission, since Will had nightmares about that kind of thing. But he hoped beyond all hope that it would be soon. Mostly because Will didn’t think he could contain his happiness around Nico all that well if even Ellis was picking up on the vibes.
“What are you sighing for?” Nico asked, walking backwards for a second so he could face Will while they were talking and walking.
“Just tired,” Will lied with a smile. “Don’t walk backwards, you might trip—”
Will spoke the words far too soon as Nico tripped backwards over his feet on a tree root. Will yelped and reached to grab him, but Nico was too far gone and yanked Will onto the ground. Will pushed up, and at that very moment Will’s eyes met Nico’s.
Their faces were close. So close. Too close—
Nico’s face went bright red, and at the feeling of something grabbing Will’s hand, he looked down and found another zombie hand.
“Oh no,” Nico said, rather succinctly.
“I can’t believe Chiron did that,” Nico groaned as he turned over in his bed. All of the other bed-takers due to the short lived CHB zombie apocalypse had vacated the infirmary, having taken a regiment of ambrosia and nectar and having been promised by Nico that none of them would actually turn into zombies. Will was only a little worse for wear, having needed to do some spontaneous healing on poor Paolo Montes who had gotten a little gnawed on, meaning that he was nearly asleep at his seat. But worse things could happen.
“I know, it was kind of ridiculous,” Will cackled as he pulled his chair close to Nico’s bed. “Alright, give me your leg.”
“I don’t need a babysitter,” Nico grumbled as he offered his leg with a dramatic huff.
“But sitting with me and my siblings at lunch might be fun at least until you get the whole spontaneously summoning zombies thing under control,” Will said before giving Nico’s leg a teasing brush. Nico’s leg jerked back and he glared, but Will definitely saw the blush staining his cheeks. “Why? Do you hate the idea of sitting at meals with me?”
“You know I don’t,” Nico admitted but it also sort of sounded like he was choking on his words, as if he had gotten caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Will couldn’t help but laugh at Nico’s feeble attempt to hide how pleased he was at this turn of events. “But you also realize that to keep sitting together after I get this all sorted out we’ll have to come up with excuses.”
“Chiron won’t be that hard to convince,” Will said with a shrug.
“Why do I get the feeling he knows we’re…you know…going out?” Nico asked Will suspiciously.
“I have no idea of what you are speaking of good sir,” Will said primly as he washed Nico’s sprained ankle with his power before wrapping his foot quickly and efficiently. This was the kind of injury that Will could tend to in his sleep, and honestly with how the infirmary could sometimes get in the height of summer, Will probably had.
“What are you smiling about?” Nico asked Will as he leaned back against the headboard.
“Nothing, I’m just happy to be with you is all,” Will told Nico, realizing that he had indeed been smiling the whole time, but finding no reason to lie.
“I suppose I can live with sitting next to you at meals if I must,” Nico said dramatically with a sigh.
“You’ll well and truly suffer,” Will returned before being unable to help his yawn. He blinked out the tears that wet his eyes, and stretched his arms over his head.
“You ought to be the one laying down,” Nico observed.
“I might just do that,” Will said sleepily, feeling blurry and tired, the pool of warmth in him only a spark. Everything in him was telling him that it would be a wonderful time to sleep, stretched in the sun, deliriously comfy and warm and he was finding it hard to refuse. “Do you mind?”
“As if I would,” Nico said as he brought one leg to his chest and seemingly settled in. “Go lay down and take a nap.”
Will gave Nico a smile, before laying into the bed under the window, curling up above the sheets he fell into a deep and restful nap that could ease any mind. His dreams were unfettered by his waking worries, he had no worrying dreams, just a sleep that was as soft and sweet as autumn sunlight and sank into him.
And then he woke up.
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Lost and Found (an EXO fanfic) - ch.8
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Pairing: Xiumin x Reader
Status: Ongoing
Warnings: Language, Abuse/Violence
Summary: Marion’s life was going perfectly well before it had fell apart. She had moved out from her family’s house to New York City almost a year ago to attend her dream college. She had gotten a small job and had a great group of friends to keep her happy. Then everything went downhill the moment she found out that her father had died. What made it worse was the fact that her father’s bank account was mysteriously empty, leaving her and her family completely broke. Marion suddenly didn’t have any time to go to college anymore or even grieve her father’s death as she thrown into working multiple jobs to support her family. Her happy college days were gone, instead replaced with working at a Chicken restaurant during the day and serving people drinks at a bar by night. It wasn’t until a rather handsome man walks through the Bar doors that lightens things up in her life. He’s attractive, charming and likable-everything a girl would want in a man-until he does something that leaves her never wanting to see him again...but he still wants to see her. Sometimes you live with memories that you wish you could forget, but not always regret.
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13
Minseok yawned as he drove on the dark highway. It had been a while since he drove outside this late, especially on the highway. He glanced at the time in the car again. 11:26. They still had about an hour and half until they made it back to the city. He glanced over at Marion who looked like she was struggling to stay awake. She seemed to be intently staring at the light flurries of snow that was sprinkling the ground outside. She seemed to notice that he was looking at her and she looked back at him.
“You know it’s okay to sleep right?” He asked.
She suddenly looked wide awake, “I’m not tired,” she replied quickly.
He looked back at the road, “Mhmm,”
“What makes you think I’m tired?” she asked, her voice surprisingly calm.
He shrugged, “You look like it,”
“So do you,” she said, he could feel her looking at him.
He shrugged, “That’s because I’am,”
She looked away from him, “Thanks for driving me to hospital. I know that you didn’t have to,” she said, her voice even.
He glanced at her, “Your welcome,” he said, turning to look at the road with the slightest of slight smiles on his face.
Marion’s voice came out alert, “Why did you stop?”
Minseok pulled into a drive thru of McDonalds, “I didn’t stop. I’m just getting some food. I’m hungry,”
Marion made a face of disapproval before her stomach growled and Minseok chuckled as he looked at her, “Looks like you are too,”
Marion squinted, “Yeah, apparently,”
“What do you want?” he said, pulling down his window as the drive thru menu appeared.
“Some fries and a hamburger would be nice,” she said, smiling slightly.
He spoke to the person at the speaker, “Can I get a hamburger, 1 large fries and a 20 piece chicken nuggets. A small coke and 1 small water would be good too,”
He drove ahead and collected his meal and handed her the paper bag and placed the 2 drinks into the cup holders of his car. He opened his wallet and gave the woman his credit card. He got his card back with a receipt and drove out of the McDonalds back onto the highway.
He glanced at her as she opened the paper bag and took out her burger. She was about to bite into it until he spoke.
“Hey,” he said, and she looked up at him with wide eyes. “Shouldn’t you feed me first, considering that I’m your driver?”
She made a face, “I thought I thanked you for doing that 20 minutes ago?”
He looked back at the road, “Yeah but a simple two word thank you can’t make up for a 2 hour drive back and to New Jersey now can it?” He opened his mouth, “Some fries please,”
She blinked as she stared at him incredulously before scoffing and pulling out the fries from the paper bag. She placed a fry into his mouth and he munched on it with a satisfied smile.
“I’m never letting you take me anywhere again,” she said, the seriousness of her tone making him laugh.
Minseok sighed, running a hand through his wavy black hair. He was stuck back in the city traffic, even if it was 1:00 am it was still packed in the city. He suddenly realized that he didn’t have Marion’s address, “Where do you live? And no-I’m not asking for myself. I’m asking because I need to drop you off somewhere,”
When she didn’t reply he turned to look at her with a slight frown. He sighed slightly when he saw her form leaning completely against the seat with her eyes shut and her face smooth of any expression. She looked young and peaceful, as if there weren’t any problems in her world, even though he knew there were many. He mentally cursed at himself for not having the nerve to wake her up but he just-couldn’t. After the exhausting day she had been through what else could he expect her to be other than tired? He shook off his trench coat and threw it over her as a blanket.
Marion pried her eyes open. She froze when she realized she wasn’t in her bedroom but instead back in Minseok’s room. She blinked, furrowing her brows, trying to remember how she got here. The last thing she remembered was staring out of Minseok’s car window. She sat up and threw the blankets off of herself. She sat on the edge of the bed and ran her hands through her hair, swallowing down hard. She looked around his room, there was no one but her in it and the cleanliness of the room made her wonder if he ever even came into it. She stood up and walked to his bathroom. She stared with wide eyes at the huge hexagon shaped bathtub that stood in the middle of it. There was also a stand up shower. She noticed that there was another door at the other side of the bathroom, she assumed that it was connected to another bedroom and locked both of the doors before using the bathroom herself. She stepped out of the bathroom and back into the bedroom, feeling somewhat nervous to leave his room. She shrugged off her jitters and opened his bedroom door and stepped out.
The luxurious penthouse was just like how she had remembered it. She walked ahead into the hallway, seeing the living room with the huge glass windows. New York City seemed to have the gloomy, cloud covered weather today. She thought she was alone until she heard voices of boys talking coming from the area behind the living room. She turned to see a couple of guys in the kitchen, there seemed to be a box of pizza set out on the table and suddenly felt her mouth water.
“Hey you!” said one of the boys who had noticed her. She blinked, she recognized him as the black hair with red streaks guy-except he didn’t have red streaks anymore. He hopped out of his seat and walked up to her, a slight boyish grin on his lips, “Remember me?”
She frowned slightly, “Um-yes-sort of. You were the one with the mullet and red streaks,”
He laughed, tilting his head, “Yes-that was me. Except I don’t have a mullet or red streaks anymore. I’m surprised you remember,”
She itched the corner of her head, “It’s rare to find people with mullets in New York City,”
He smiled, a slightly embarrassed one, “Your right. Which is exactly why I got rid of it,”
She smiled slightly before asking, “Ah-Do you mind telling me how I got here?”
He smiled wider, “Sure. I’ll tell you everything but let’s eat first,”
“Eat?-” she questioned, but he didn’t give her a chance to say anything when he slipped his arm around her shoulders and walked with her to the kitchen. The boys seemed to have watching the two of them as the guy beside her patted her head and pulled out one of the chairs at the table for her to sit. She recognized Kai sitting at the table and the other 2 guy’s faces seemed familiar but it seemed as though they had dyed their hair.
“Everyone this is Mario, remember her?”
The familiar voice of Kai spoke up, correcting him, “It’s not Mario, Its Marion,”
As she slowly sat down into her seat the ex-mullet guy said, “Man! Why do you always have to ruin the joke?”
The pink haired boy sitting across from her spoke, “It wasn’t even funny,” but Marion noticed a tall guy with silver hair who was getting pizza from the kitchen counter laughing.
So did the ex-mullet guy, “Chanyeol is laughing,”
The pink haired guy replied, “He laughs at everything,”
Chanyeol immediately became defensive, “Noo!”
Kai took Chanyeol’s plate of pizza out of his hands and gave it to Marion, “Stop arguing in front of our guest!”
Marion bit the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing, “Thanks Kai,”
Chanyeol looked a bit embarrassed when he turned back around to get another plate of pizza. Ex mullet guy slipped into the seat next to Marion, “Ah-sorry. I didn’t even introduce myself. I’m Baekhyun,”
She suddenly remembered when he yelled out his name when she was going into the elevator, the last time she was here. The pink haired guy in front of her spoke, “I’m Chen,” He said, with a friendly smile. He had a very nice smile that was hard not to notice.
Then Baekhyun pointed at the tall silver haired guy who returned with a new slice of pizza, Baekhyun said, with his boyish jokey grin, “That’s Chan,”
Chan looked at Marion and shook his head, “Its Chanyeol,”
Baekhyun pointed at Kai, “That is Jongdae,”
Chen suddenly started whining, “Yah! Ah WaeEE! Can’t you just introduce us properly?”
Chanyeol and Baekhyun started laughing but then Kai said, “She already knows I’m Kai,”
Chanyeol blinked, biting into his pizza, “How?”
Kai replied, casually, “I met her at the Chicken restaurant I went to before, with Kyungsoo,”
Marion’s eyes lit up, “Is Kyungsoo here?”
Chanyeol shook his head, “Nah-he went out like 5 minutes ago,”
Baekhyun added, “Yah! He is always going somewhere every day either in the afternoon or the evening and not telling us where. One day I’m just going to follow him, I swear,”
Chanyeol shrugged, “Let him be. If you follow him he’s gonna hurt you,”
Marion chuckled slightly, seems like she wasn’t the only one who got Kyungsoo’s hard pokes. She shifted in her seat, “Where is Minseok?”
Chanyeol pointed innocently at the couch, “He’s right there,”
And there he was sleeping with one leg hanging off of the couch and laying on his stomach with his mouth slightly open as he silently slept away. His unruly black hair falling over his forehead and the blanket on him was almost falling off.
Chen spoke, “He slept there the whole night. I told him he could sleep in my room but-nooo he wants to sleep on the couch,”
Chanyeol commented, with slight wide eyes, “He must be really tired,”
Baekhyun replied, “Well yeah, he came in last night with you in his arms at like 1:30 am. Sehun, Suho and I were playing video gam-“
“And me,” Chanyeol added randomly.
Baekhyun exaggeratedly added, “And Chan Chan, of course. We were playing video games in the living room and he came in and told us not to talk before bringing you to his room. After tucking you in he came out and sat down and told us what happened with the hospital and all-“
“What’d he tell you about the hospital?” she interrupted.
Baekhyun replied, “You know-about your Mom being hurt all the way in New Jersey and he had to bring you to her since you didn’t have a ride. Then he brought you back here because you didn’t tell him your address and since you fell asleep-he didn’t want to wake you up,”
“Oh,” she said, turning to glance at Minseok again.
Chanyeol looked down at his watch, “And he’s been sleeping on the couch since then,”
Kai bit into his pizza, “Yeah, I can’t believe he’s still sleeping. He usually wakes up early for no reason,”
Chen replied, “He’s an early bird, unlike you who could sleep for days,”
Kai glanced over at Chen with a slight grin, “Ya-don’t make fun of me,”
Marion suddenly asked, “Wait-what time is it?”
“It’s 12:17 pm,” Chanyeol replied, calmly.
“What?!” she exclaimed, her eyes widening. “I have to go-“
“Go already?” Baekhyun said, sounding disappointed, “But you didn’t even eat your pizza?”
She stood up, “I have to go to work,”
“Work?” Chen asked, “I thought Bars opened late,”
“No, I work at Chicken Restaurant too. I’m late,” she said, in distress as she hastily tucked her hair behind her ears. “Do you know where my shoes are?”
Chen stood up, “Minseok probably put them on his shelf in his closet. I’ll get them,” He stood up and left.
She adjusted her jacket over her shoulders and tied up her hair as she walked to the elevator doors. She heard Baekhyun yell, “Mario! You didn’t eat your pizza!”
She smiled slightly before yelling back, “I don’t want it!”
Chen reappeared with her shoes in his hand, “These are it right?”
She nodded, taking them from his hand and setting them down on the floor as she hastily stuffed her feet into them. “Thanks,” she said.
He handed her, her purse, “Is this yours too?”
“Oh my god-thanks,” She said, with wide eyes as she took it from his hands. “If I left that then it’d be over for me,”
He chuckled, “No problem,”
Chanyeol paddled over with his long bouncy legs, holding a paper plate wrapped in foil, “Take this. We have too much pizza and you didn’t eat anything anyway,”
Marion chuckled slightly, hesitantly taking the plate from Chanyeol’s hands, “You guys are too nice,”
Chanyeol’s hand went to the back of his head, itching his silver hair as he shrugged, “You need to have something in your stomach if you’re going to work 2 jobs,”
She nodded, “You’re right. Well, thanks for everything-I’ll get going now. Bye,”
She heard Kai yell from the kitchen, “BYE!” as she walked into elevator. She turned around and saw Chanyeol staring at her with his thumbs hooked into his pockets and Chen waving goodbye with a smile on his face. Just as the doors of the elevator closed she heard Baekhyun yell, “You’re welcome to come back anytime!” She just shook her head, laughing slightly as the elevator slowly lowered.
Baekhyun peeked his head from the kitchen to see Chen and Chanyeol standing by the elevator as the elevator doors closed. Baekhyun eyebrows went up, “She left?”
Chen walked back to the kitchen, slipping into his seat and biting into his pizza, “Yep,”
Chanyeol followed Chen before hastily flopping himself back into his chair, “Man, She is so freaking pretty,”
Chen’s eyebrows went up, “I was just going to say that!”
Baekhyun grinned, wriggling his eyebrows, “The real question is how Xiumin keeps bringing her back?”
Kai choked on his pizza slice. Chanyeol reached over and gave Kai a big THUMP on his back. “Stop dying, Kaia. Stop dying,”
Kai coughed twice as hard, before choking out, “Really, Chanyeol?”
Chanyeol was doubling over in laughter while slamming his hand against his leg. Baekhyun gasped, snapping his fingers, “Next time I need dating advice you know who I’m going to?,”
Chen glanced at Baekhyun, and Baekhyun smiled as he replied, “Xiumin,”
Chen just shook his pink haired head, ignoring the scene around him as he peacefully bit into his pizza.
Marion ran into the Chicken Restaurant, swinging her jacket off and bag into the staff personal belonging area. Jasmine saw her run in, “Girl! Where were you?! It’s Thursday not Saturday,”
Marion placing on the Chirping Chicken’s hat and apron on. “I know, I know, I know,” she said, completely out of breath.
Jasmine handed her a couple of the menus and Marion stuffed them into the large pocket in her apron. Jasmine reassured her, “Calm down, Marion, Your safe-boss isn’t here today but you seriously shouldn’t be late again, okay?”
Marion nodded, about to walk to the front of attend the customers but then Jasmine said, “You just missed him, you know,”
Marion turned around with a slight frown, “Missed who?”
Jasmine tilted her head, “The guy-Your boyfriend,”
Marion raised a brow, “Kyungsoo?”
Jasmine nodded, “Yeah-he was here like 5-10 minutes ago. He was looking for you. How was the date yesterday?”
Marion shook her head, adjusting her hat, “It wasn’t a date. It was nice though-He took me out to eat some Korean food,” She made a face when she remembered how she had failed using chopsticks.
“That’s cute!” Jasmine said with a slight sly smile.
She couldn’t believe that had just happened yesterday, it felt like ages ago. So much had happened yesterday that everything before the hospital felt like a huge blur. Marion turned back around, noticing some of the customers finishing up. “I should help the customers,”
Jasmines squinted, “You just don’t want to tell me the details,”
Marion replied, “It’s not like-“but Marion interrupted herself when she sneezed. Jasmine quickly handed her a tissue. “Bless you,” Jasmine said as she watched Marion blow her nose. Marion dumped the tissue, with a slight frown on her lips.
Jasmine asked, concerned, “Do you have a cold?”
Marion shook her head, her voice slightly unsure when she replied, “No-that was just a sneeze,”
Jasmine patted her back, “Alright, now help the customers before they get too feisty,”
Marion chuckled before walking towards one of the tables.
Kyungsoo was surprised to hear the question that had been on his mind be voiced aloud just as he entered the apartment. “Where’s Marion?”
Kyungsoo turned his head to see that it was Minseok, looking like he just rolled out of bed-as he walked out his bedroom, who had asked the question. Kai replied while playing his video game, “She left,”
Kyungsoo walked over to Kai, “Marion was here?” he asked.
Kai glanced at Kyungsoo before nodding. Minseok walked over to Kai, his eyes were intent on Kai’s as he asked, “How long ago?”
Baekhyun replied, while sliding down the stairs handle, “10 minutes ago,” at the same time Kai had said, “Like 30 minutes ago,”
Kai paused his game to look at Baekhyun who was grinning like a mad man. “What?” Minseok said, sounding slightly annoyed, “Which one is it?”
Baekhyun walked over to Minseok and squeezed his shoulders. “Kai’s right,” Baekhyun said, with his normal goofy smile. “What-Did you want to say good morning to her? You should’ve woke up early if you wanted to do that, tsk-tsk,”
Minseok ignored Baekhyun’s statement as he waved Baekhyun’s hands off his shoulders, “I need to shower,” Minseok mumbled before disappearing into his room. Kyungsoo blinked, “Why was she here?”
Baekhyun turned to look at Kyungsoo dramatically, “Didn’t you know? Oh-no, you went to sleep early last night. Last night when we were all playing video games-like good boys, Minseok was being a naughty boy and brought Mario over to his bedroom,”
Kai laughed and hit Baekhyun lightly with the video game controller, “Baek!”
Baekhyun laughed, “Okay, okay. Minseok brought Marion here because he had just drove her to the hospital because Marion’s mom got injured and she didn’t have a ride. But on the way back from the hospital she fell asleep and he didn’t want to wake her up so he just brought her here,”
Kyungsoo’s eyes widened, “Is she okay?”
Baekhyun nodded, “Yeah, she seemed okay this morning. More than okay if you ask me, She looked stunning, with her black hair falling on her shoulders like a mermaid-“
Kai interrupted him, not removing his eyes off his video game, “You’re so extra,”
Baekhyun laughed, running a hand through his hair. “Okay, okay. I’ll shut up now,”
Kai replied, “Thank God!”
Baekhyun picked up a lion stuffed toy that was on the ground-probably one of the toys they picked up from one of the fansigns-and threw it at Kai’s head. Kai paused his game and spun around, clutching the stuffed toy in his hand as Baekhyun skipped up the steps while laughing. Kai whipped the stuffed toy and it hit Baekhyun’s ass. Baekhyun ran faster and tripped on the top step before yelling in pain as he clutched his foot. Kai’s eyes widened, “You okay?”
Baekhyun jumped up, “Hah-Gotcha!” and ran-while laughing obnoxiously-into his bedroom while Kai held up another pillow from the couch to throw it at him. Once they heard Baekhyun’s room door shut, Kai sighed, dropping the pillow onto the ground and returned to his video game. “Such a pain in the ass,” Kai said, while shaking his head with a slight grin.
Kyungsoo ran a hand through his hair, distracted from what was going on in the apartment as his thoughts surrounded Marion. He hoped that she was okay, he knew that no matter how calm she made herself look she was stressing inside. Her personality was pretty complex but he understood it. He wanted to be there to help her out. But he couldn’t help but wonder, How does she keep meeting Minseok?
Hey guys I know i haven’t updated in a while but that does not mean I’m not online. I’m still here and please don’t give up on meee. Sorry if this chapter was a little boring but the next chapter is definitely one that I’am looking forward to releasing and hopefully you will too *grins mischievously* good luck and stay happy <3
p.s. I still appreciate your feedback so give me as much as you can!
#exo fanfiction#exo fanfic#kpop fanfiction#kpop fanfic#exo stories#exo story#reader x exo#exo x reader#exo#exo suho#exo chen#exo chanyeol#exo d.o#exo lay#exo xiumin#exo sehun#exo baekhyun#exo kai#minseok#kyungsoo#xiumin x reader#reader x xiumin#reader x minseok#minseok x reader#kim minseok#exo xiumin fanfic#exo minseok fanfic#exo DO#exo scenarios#xiumin
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My neighbours seeing me naked all the time
1. What gives you anxiety? Having to go do something new
2. Are you the type that’s too ashamed to ask for or use directions? Are you kidding me, I fucking love google maps
3. Were you tired when you woke up this morning? I was when I woke up at 11, but not after I went back to sleep and woke up again at 2pm.
4. When you watch the news, how does it effect your mood? Depends on the news, but it generally has a negative impact. That’s why I avoid watching it.
5. Have you ever taken an online IQ test? What was the result? I actually took a real IQ test once but I was 11 and didn’t know that’s the test I was taking. I think the results came back as the high end of average. When I was in grade 5 I was almost constantly fighting with my best friend at the time, Dylan. It was stressing me out so I asked my mum if I could talk to someone at the school for help so she set me up with one of the school counsellors, I think his name was something like Mr Zagini or Mr Zagami (I remember his two nicknames being Mr zucchini and Mr salami). Anyway, it was mostly stuff I already knew but I got to skip class sometimes for our sessions. I didn’t continue sessions with him in grade 6 (I don’t know why), but he came to me one time and was like “hey I want to do this series of tests with you, are you okay with that?” and I was like “yeah sure” so I did them. Just a bunch of little lateral thinking puzzles which I was well used to doing, due to having been part of the school’s “gifted and talented” program (the instructor of which committed suicide a few years later after the cops found out he was into child porn, but that’s a story for another time I guess) since I was 6 years old. I feel like if I took an IQ test these days I would probably come back as squarely average. I don’t feel that smart since I hit adulthood.
6. Have you ever had anything expensive stolen from you? There was that one time someone broke into my house and stole my potatoes.
7. Can you hear anything right now? A group of drunk people from the bars downstairs
8. Have you ever been to a wedding? A few family weddings, yeah. Next year I will be a groomsman for my friend/old flatmate.
9. What is your favourite kind of pasta? I prefer rice noodles tbh
10. Are you proud of who you are? Sometimes
11. Would you prefer an ice cream sundae or an ice cream cone? Sundae.
12. What time is it? 12:03am
13. Are you good at giving directions? If I have a map, or know where I am, yeah
14. Do you own any Sims games? Which ones? Sims 3, plus pets and supernatural expansions.
15. What is your favourite kind of fruit juice? Probably orange
16. Have you worn a necklace today? I haven’t worn a necklace in years
17. Do your parents smoke cigarettes? Unusually, neither of my parents ever got into smoking
18. What is the color of the curtains in the room you’re in right now? No curtains. I just deal with my neighbours seeing me naked all the time
19. How many instruments do you own/have you owned? Now I just have one guitar but over the years I’ve had 2 acoustic guitars, 2 electric guitars, 2 ukuleles, a bass guitar, a glockenspiel, a full size electric piano, an electric drum kit and an acoustic drum kit.
20. What does one of your T-shirts have written on it? "Netflix”
21. Name a pet you definitely wouldn’t want. Tarantula.
22. Who’s the fifth contact in your phonebook? My aunt
23. If you had to text them something now what would you say? I would say that I’m probably coming back to australia in january and that we should have a family gathering
24. Should you be in bed right now? I haven’t had a bedtime since I was like 13
25. Do you know anyone that has the same birthday? A sort-of-friend’s boyfriend who is also the ex of the girlfriend of one of my best friends. But he’s a year or two younger than me.
26. Would you prefer your partner smaller or taller? I’ve tried both and established that my preference is definitely taller.
27. Do you acknowledge your feelings or ignore them? Depends on the feeling but generally suppress, bottle and ignore.
28. When was the last time someone saw you naked? Back in panama. God, it’s been slow since I’ve been home
29. How would you describe your current mood? Is tipsy a mood?
30. When was the last time you did something you were embarrassed by? Whenever I last got very drunk probably
31. What was the last thing you lied about? I generally don’t like lying so the last time was probably when I was telling my travel group in central america that I had never slept with the tour guide.
32. Where is your favorite place to have sex? Uhh a bed I guess. Although that one time I fooled around in the back of a car was pretty fun too.
33. Do you ever drink or get high alone? I tried getting high alone once and that was no fun. Drunk, yes, like once a week.
34. What type of a drunk are you? Happy and fun
35. When was the last time you revealed your feelings for someone? Were they accepted or rejected? I generally don’t tell guys that I like them. Although tbh I generally don’t develop actual feeling for them so...
36. What was the reason behind your last visit to the hospital? I think that was when a friend had his appendix out and a group of us went to see him. The time before that was a fair bit more distressing though.
36. What is the “worst” drug you’ve done? Are there any you will never try, or any you want to try? The worst is probably coke. I will never ever ever try meth or heroin. Those are just a baaaaad idea. Nothing that I specifically want to try.
37. When was the last time you were up all night and why? Up the whole night would have been my last night shift in australia. Although there’s been several times since then that I’ve been up until 3am or even sunrise on a night out.
38. Who was the last person to yell at you? Did you yell back? I have absolutely no idea
39. Where did your last injury come from? Uhhh I think my last “injury” was about a month ago when I cut my thumb on a beer can. Hardly an injury though.
40. Where do you like to be kissed? Tbh I quite like being kissed on the neck
41. You have 5 minutes - grab 3 snacks from the grocery store. What are they? A bunch of mandarins, a pack of chips and a block of chocolate probably
42. Dancing, acting, and singing - which two are you best at? None of the above
43. Deep fried Oreos & deep fried pickles - would you try either? I’d try either at least once
44. Funny, charming, cute, romantic, smart - choose only 2 for a potential partner. Funny and cute I think.
45. Snow or sand? Soda or juice? Cake or cookies? Royalty or immortality? Snow, soda, cake, immortality.
46. Which is more important to you: make-up or hair? Hair.
47. What is one tradition that you and your family have? Do you enjoy it? Generally my brother and I spend christmas morning at mum’s house and have breakfast with her and then head to dad’s for the afternoon/evening and have his big full roast christmas dinner with him and sometimes a couple of his friends.
48. You can go back in time & change something in your Mom’s past - what is it? I think I would somehow try to give her more self esteem as a teenager. Or maybe I’d have stopped that one boyfriend from breaking up with her to move to sydney, after which she cried for at least a week. Idk I think I’d have tried to make her see that he was kind of a douche and not worth her time because she only deserves the absolute best.
49. Money doesn’t matter - choose a vacation destination and pick your party: If money is no issue then I would travel from alaska all the way down to the southern-most tip of argentina with whoever wants to join for a section. IRL I kinda plan on travelling mexico to argentina in a year or so anyway.
50. Been on any websites today you wouldn’t want your parents to see? No. I mean, they’d probably be mildly confused as to why I was researching when the shower was invented but it’s not like they’d care.
51. Flip your arm over - can you see your veins? No because I’m wearing a jumper and can’t see my skin through the sleeve obvs.
52. Pick a movie at least 5 years old that you absolutely love: Love and Other Drugs
53. Do you ever buy snacks at the movie theater? What do you get? Sometimes I did in australia but I never do here. I always have dinner beforehand and then just buy a bottle of water from the grocery store next door to take into the theatre.
54. When was the last time you had to jump? Jump? Uhhhh ... I didn’t have to but I jumped off the front of the boat into the ocean while I was in the San Blas Islands off Panama a couple of months ago.
55. At what time does it start getting dark where you live? Currently it gets dark around 5:30pm
56. Which is worse: dusting or mopping? I’m not sure I’ve ever dusted in my life.
57. Peanut butter VS. Caramel - which side are you on? Depends on context but probably usually caramel.
58. Have you ever complained to a manager about anything? What was it? I argued with some bond cleaners a bit over a year ago. I didn’t ask to, but I spoke to the manager and I ended up winning the argument.
59. Any idea where the shirt you’re wearing was made? Take a guess. I don’t know, China? Actually, none of the labels seem to specify where it was made.
60. Would you marry somebody who was intensely religious? No because our lifestyles wouldn’t match up.
61. Are you “with” the very last person you kissed? No
62. Ever dated/kissed a someone with the name Casey, Tyler, Ryan, Jordan, Colton, Rebecca, Samantha, Lauren, Taylor, or Ashley? That’s so specific. I think I’ve kissed a rebecca.
63. Was your last kiss, standing up, sitting down, or lying down? Standing up, saying goodbye at the hotel room door.
64. Are you happy with the choices you’ve made? In general, yeah
65. Are you excited for anything? Well, I’m going to Paris next week.
66. Do you hate the last person you kissed? No.
67. You’re stuck in an elevator with one of your worst enemies, what do you do? Scroll through facebook/instagram/whatever on my phone.
68. Will this weekend be a good one? The weekend is over.
69. Do you like to listen to the radio in the car? Nah, I listen to my iPod in the car and the radio at work. I mean, y’know, when I had a car and a job.
70. Do you sleep with a fan on? I literally don’t even have a fan
71. How is your hair right now? In need of a cut.
72. Have you ever broken up with someone for someone else? No.
73. How many windows are open on your computer? 1 window, 4 tabs.
74. How tall are you? ~5′3″ but I slouch
75. Have you ever taken a shower with anyone before? Yeah but tbh I don’t really understand the appeal unless you plan on fucking in the shower which sounds slippery and dangerous.
76. Is your hair clean? Almost always
77. What are you drinking right now? Nothing.
78. Do you wear your seatbelt in the car? Yes, unless I’m in a bus or sometimes I don’t when I’m in a country where the law doesn’t make you wear one. Eg in some countries cabs will have sheets covering the back seats so even if you want to put on the seatbelt you can’t because the clip thing is covered up and you can’t access it.
79. Does someone have feelings for you? Doubt it
80. Have you ever been cheated on? Pretty sure, yeah
81. Are you hard to please? Not at all
82. What are you craving right now? TRAVEL
83. How are you feeling right now? A bit cold
84. What color shirt are you wearing? Tshirt is orange and white. Jumper over it is grey with white stripes.
85. Who is the last person you got a message from? @aturinfortheworse
86. Are you excited for winter? Only if I get to go somewhere with snow (unlikely). I love the cold when I’m actually out and about and doing things but when I’m just sitting at home doing nothing and my feet are so cold they’re in physical pain then I don’t enjoy it so much. This is only a thing I’ve realised recently.
87. When are you at your happiest? When I’m travelling and having adventures.
88. Do you live alone? Yep
89. What do you do to pass time? Netflix, video games, tumblr 90. Do you go clubbing on weekends? When I live in the same city as my friends, sometimes
91. Twin bed, or other? Maybe a couch? What is this even asking? I have a king size bed currently 92. What are three things, that are not hygiene related you do every single day? Eat, check facebook, charge my phone 93. Are you addicted to anything drug like? No. 94. Did you pull a senior prank? They weren’t allowed at my school, but I don’t think I’d have cared enough anyway 95. Did you graduate? Highschool, yes. Uni, no.
96. Any goals? Live comfortably (with a job) in a country other than Australia, preferably a spanish speaking country.
97. Do you miss being a kid? In some ways yes, like not having responsibilities. In other ways no, like not getting laid... I mean, not that I’m getting laid now either...
98. Have you ever been unfaithful in a serious realfionship? Never had a serious relationship. 99. Do you have any tattoos? No. 100. Regrets? Nah. No point regretting things. Just learn and move on.
#Other potential titles:#suppress bottle and ignore#Is tipsy a mood?#researching when the shower was invented
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How a Busy CrossFit Pro Makes Time for Daily Healthy Living
This post features a real-life Paleo expert who stays fit and healthy in the midst of a chaotic schedule. Learn more about how living Paleo can adapt to your lifestyle by following Max through a typical day in his life.
Max Shippee, our resident CrossFit expert and creator of PaleoFit, is also currently appearing on The Young and the Restless as Graham Bloodworth over on CBS. Even with his grueling daily schedule, he makes time for wellness, health, and eating clean and simple foods.
Morning
5:05am: Get up
Rising in concert with your circadian rhythm is a great way to start your day—especially if you have a family. It’s nice to start your day by yourself without all the other people of the house hollering “Daddy!” at you. I’m not saying that getting up at 5 in the morning is easy—not at all! But it does feel great to start the day before the world starts making demands on you.
I’ve also found that I usually wake up a little before my alarm, anywhere from five to twenty minutes before. I’ve found that if I get up when I naturally open my eyes in the early morning, I feel much more even with my energy throughout the day, and don’t experience that grogginess that can follow you around all morning.
5:15am: Cold shower
If you saw my other post about cold showers, then you know that starting your day with a little jolt of cold can have some really sweet effects for your body, not the least of which is fixing your bed-head.
Almost every morning, the first thing I do before I can think about it is to turn on the cold water of the shower and step in. The cold shower in the morning isn’t necessarily one that I use to get clean, it’s more of a rinse to wake myself up. Let me tell you: it works.
I don’t usually eat breakfast, or anything for that matter, until about noon. I dig the intermittent fasting thing, although it’s not for everyone.
5:30am: Hydrate and look out
Before I just get into my car and go, I stack my backpack and phone by the front door, then I go to my sink and get a big glass of water and down the whole thing immediately. I then fill another glass, and step towards our picture window. I stand there for a minute or two and make myself find a thing or two to be grateful for. It’s really easy, in this day and age, to just start your day full throttle, without any thought that it’s really amazing that we’re here at all. I try to get my mind right before heading out the door.
5:35am: Drive to gym
On my drive to the gym, to coach my 6am class, I alternate between being in silence or listening to a bit of a health-related podcast to share with the class I’m about to coach. While traditional morning radio shows are nice, I find that starting my day with the bombardment of advertising gets me way more worked up than I need to be. So, I’ll throw on that podcast to catch up on a thing or two. Sometimes I’ll also let my mind drift a bit, while trying to take note of the things I hope to accomplish during the day. Often, I’ll be reviewing lines for work later that day or the week.
6:00am: Coach class
The first class at my gym is at 6am. I’ve got a great crew of 6-10 people that show up on a regular basis. These are the first people I see everyday besides my family, and I love that it’s a group of people that quite literally puts their health first every day. I’ll guide this glass through a warm-up, technique work, workout, and stretch/cool down, all inside an hour. It’s wonderfully fun and brutal.
Working out in the morning helps you to pull from your stored glycogen, since you haven’t eaten yet, and may even cause a little uptick in your fat-burning. Often, I just work out first thing just so it gets done. The best part of a workout is having it done!
7:15am: Gym office work
After all the people have cleared out from the 6am class, I’ll take some time to work in my office. Whether we like it or not, for many of us, we rely on screens to get our work done. When I am spending time in front of a screen, at least at the gym, I do so while standing. There’s a litany of research around how sitting is going to be seen as “the new smoking” since the list of adverse health effect of long periods of sitting becomes longer and longer. I usually have a couple hours in the morning to get my “desk work” done, and that’s usually done from a standing position.
9:00am: Head home
Some days I coach another class at 9am, but others I have a different coach cover that class so I can be on set. My drive home takes a little longer due to morning traffic, but I’m feeling good since I’m headed home and already have my workout plus about two hours of work under my belt. I feel like I’m ahead of the game!
9:30am: Second shower
After getting home and connecting with my kids and wife for a bit (no breakfast though!), I’ll rinse off my morning workout with another cold shower, this time with soap. It feels great to get the sweat off and blunt any inflammation that I may have caused from the workout.
After my shower, I’ll typically use some Paleo-friendly products to help myself be presentable.
Deodorant: I use one that’s pretty much just essential oils from Tom’s of Maine. Face: I’ll put just a bit of coconut oil on my face to make sure that my skin is hydrated and try to offset this aging thing… Hair: I throw on a little organic Badger Pomade in the hair to keep me rocking the do! Living like a caveman doesn’t mean I have to look and smell like one!
10:00am: Commute
On this day, I’m fortunate that I don’t have to be on set until noon, but I decide I’m going to head in early. I hate the idea of ever being late, and I can always get work done, (like this blog post) on my laptop in my dressing room. After my shower and getting dressed, I’ll kiss all the kids and the wife, and head out the door. Once again, I’ll throw on a podcast on the way up, or review my lines at the stop lights.
Afternoon
11:15am: Arrive CBS
Depending on the time of day, it usually takes me about forty five minutes to an hour and fifteen minutes to get from my house to CBS Television City in Los Angeles. I head through security, park, go to my dressing room, and set up camp. It’s great to be in a spot where there is stuff going on around me, but I have my own space. Some of my most productive work is done in the dressing room at CBS.
11:45am: Lunch
I actually don’t have to start prepping with the hair and makeup people until about noon, so I head to the commissary and grab my lunch. This will be my first meal of the day, and it’s Paleo! It’s a nice big salad. About 1.7 pounds of:
Lettuce
Carrots
Cabbage
Celery
Cucumbers
Chicken
I top it with the balsamic dressing they have there at the commissary. Honestly, I’m not sure of the ingredients, but most commercial dressing uses canola oil and/or some kind of thickener, like guar gum or carrageenan. Both the canola oil and the thickeners aren’t Paleo in the strict sense. I luckily don’t have a sensitivity to these ingredients, so while it may not be Paleo, it doesn’t wreck my stomach. It’s always best, of course, to stick as close to Paleo as possible, but sometimes in the real world you have to make adjustments here and there!
12:15pm: Hair and Makeup
I finish up my lunch and head up to hair and makeup. As far as I know, there aren’t any super Paleo professional makeup and hair products, but if you’re not prepping for TV, there are definitely some cleaner skincare options out there for you.
12:45pm: Meditate
After hair and makeup, I review my lines for a bit. Then I take 15 minutes to sit and meditate. I try to get a meditation in everyday because it really helps me to be centered throughout the day. I see meditation as “Paleo” since I see it as being similar to how our ancestors would spend periods of time simply lost in their own thoughts. Without screens, a to-do list, or even books, our ancestors had time to let their minds relax.
1:30pm: Shoot my scenes
They call me to set and I head to Stage 43 to get mic’ed up and touched up for my scenes. We set blocking, do a rehearsal, and shoot. The process gets repeated a few times over the next couple of hours for all the scenes we need to shoot for my part in the story line. Luckily, today I have a short day and I’ll only be on set for about six hours. Some days can be as long as fourteen! Of course, any day I get to be on set with The Young and The Restless as Graham Bloodworth is a great day!
3:30pm: Done shooting
I finish up my part of the shooting day, and head back to my dressing room to get out of my wardrobe. I pack up, and head upstairs to sign my paperwork for the day. I take the stairs up and back down in lieu of the elevator. It’s only a few flights, but a little opportunity for movement before I sit back in my car for my commute.
4:00pm: Commute home
I jump back in the car, and throw on a bit more of an entertaining podcast. For better or worse, I got released from set just in time to be headed into the beginning of evening traffic. It takes me about an hour and a half to get home. I drink plenty of water on the way home, but am feeling pretty hungry when I finally pull in the drive.
5:30pm: Arrive home, quick bite
I get home to get a quick bite of potato chips before heading back out to pick up one or more of my kids from extracurricular activities, camps, etc. I have a weakness for potato chips because they are salty goodness. And they’re not really too bad since they’re just potatoes, oil, and salt (all Paleo, depending on the type of oil!). Is it a perfect snack? Maybe not. But I figure it’s better than Oreos dipped in Coke. I also love a good snack of REALLY dark chocolate.
6:00pm: Pick up kid
I run out of the house after my snack and pick up kid #1 from art camp. It’s only a 10 minute drive there and back, and this is dad stuff that I’m happy to do.
Evening
6:30pm: Dinner
When I’m finally done with transportation, I make some eggs and veggies. This is usually my standard first meal but since I was on set, I didn’t get to it yet. I have five eggs and about a pound of broccoli, cauliflower, or green beans. It’s the fastest way to get a good dose of protein, as well as a decent dose of fiber, and few carbs to keep my insulin in check. We also had some leftover kielbasa, so I throw a little of that in for some flavor. I’m not shy about adding some grass-fed Kerrygold butter either!
8:00pm: Start bedtime routine
After dinner is done and the clean up is over (seriously: how many dishes do we have, people!?), it’s time to start the bedtime routine. As any parent knows, something that should take four and half minutes somehow stretches into almost half an hour. Since I had a pretty good day, and am well fed, I help the kids along with teeth brushing mirror silliness. I’m not sure if it makes it go faster, but it sure keeps them from fighting.
8:30pm: Kids in bed for snuggle time
I know a lot of parents who work weird hours. Some nights I have to either be shooting or at the gym until later in the evening, too. Tonight, I get to be home, so I snuggle down with the kids for a story, and a little conversation before turning out the light, and letting them fall asleep on me. We’re one of those crazy co-sleeping houses where it’s a case of musical beds some nights! Once I feel that the two littler ones are asleep, I slide out and head upstairs to my lovely wife.
9:00pm: Watch Netflix with the wife
One of my wife’s favorite things to do is to chill at night in front of the television. She convinces me way too often to stay up too late watching “just one more episode.” I suppose in days gone by, people would sit and stare at the fire into the night, or up at the stars. For us, it’s the stars on screen.
10:30pm: Bed
We finally head to bed somewhere in the 10:30-11 range. My wife is a night owl, and if it was up to her, we’d be up until 3am every night. I have to coach early in the morning though, so I need at least six hours, and hopefully more. This night, I was up WAY past the sun going down, and not even close to the circadian rhythm. Sometimes things happen!
5 Ways to Make Paleo Habits Fit Your Life
Some of the changes that I’ve made to my day are things that are quite simple to implement. Here’s a few ideas for things for you to try.
1. Cold shower
We’ve only had hot water for about 150 years. The cold water won’t hurt you, and it may even have some sweet health benefits.
2. Hydrate in the morning
Start your day with a big glass of water. You’ve had nothing in your system for the past 6-9 hours, so it’s a great time to give your body the fluids it needs to help flush out all the residual effects from fasting overnight. As a side note, if you fill your belly with some H2O first thing, it’ll make it easier to push breakfast off a bit and have you do a smaller version of the intermittent fasting by pushing breakfast back a little for you.
3. Take a minute
So many of us rush into our day at full tilt. We don’t take a minute in the morning to marvel at the fact that any of this works at ALL. Taking a moment here and there throughout the day can help us stay connected not just to ourselves, but also to our family, friends, and the work that we need to get done.
4. Meditate
The great thing about meditation is that you really don’t have to do anything. All that needs to happen is to sit for a second, and slow your day down. Even if it’s three minutes, you’ll be surprised what you can accomplish by simply being present for a few minutes a day.
5. Walk a few extra steps
For me, that involves taking the stairs when I’m on set. Believe it or not, when I head to the gym, I park in one of the furthest spots. This extra little 50 meters may not make a huge difference, but over the course of a year, I’m walking an extra 15 miles a year. Funny how just a little bit of something can add up to a lot!
Bottom Line
So there you have it, a day in the life of someone who’s trying to juggle busyness and the Paleo lifestyle. I think I do a decent job, but I know that there are places that I could do a little better.
For this example day, my calories were a little low, and also needed more water. Even though I got spend time with the kids and wife, I feel like I set myself up for a tired day tomorrow. My food was relatively on point, with only a few things that were on edge, like the chips and the salad dressing.
I hope that this glimpse into the life of your PaleoPlan bloggers helps you to stay focused and keep moving forward with your own health. If we can do it, so can you!
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From Developer to CTO - Tech Leadership Training Bootcamp by Codemotion - Day 1
Today I was pleased to attend to the "From Developer to CTO" Bootcamp, the final phase of the Tech Leadership Training Course: an online program promoted by Facebook Developer Circles in partnership with Codemotion and designed to help developers in their journey to become Chief Technical Officers by combining strong interpersonal, influential and technical skills. Here's a quick breakdown of the previous modules: Module 1: Defining the CTO Role, focused on defining the role of CTOs by touching their main responsibilities and challenges. Module 2: AI/Machine Learning, dedicated to some strategic approaches to use this technology to create real innovation for a startup or company, and also focused on giving suggestions to the CTO to correctly introduce a new technology in a company. Module 3: Software Architecture/DevOps, based upon the concept of scaling and the analysis / review of the DevOps methodology, a modern and versatile full-stack approach that can be used to effectively deal with such problems. The bootcamp, being the final phase of the course, is meant to be a unique opportunity to summarize and empower the knowledge about the topics covered in the previous three modules by gaining valuable insights from a highly experienced group of Codemotion and Facebook experts.
The place
The bootcamp is a 2-days event hosted by Codemotion by the LUISS EnLabs & LVenture Group venues in Rome, Italy.
LUISS EnLabs, also known as "The Startup Factory", is one of the leading startup accelerators in Europe. It was established in 2013 as a joint venture between LVenture Group - a venture capital operator listed on the Stock Exchange - and LUISS Guido Carli University, and in just a few years it has accelerated over 60 startups. Twice a year LUISS EnLabs selects them for its Acceleration Programs and also organizes Open Innovation Programs to bring corporates into the world of innovation. Overall, the startups have collected 44 million euros, 11 from LVenture Group and the remaining from other international venture capital funds and Business Angels. Thanks to the support of its network of investors, corporates and institutions - including LUISS University - and its partners Wind Tre, BNL Gruppo BNP Paribas, Accenture and Sara Assicurazioni, LUISS EnLabs has grown into a real point of reference for innovation in Italy.
The Program - First Day
8:20: check in opening 9:00: Opening by Facebook 9:10: Opening by Codemotion 9:15: Talk by Codemotion: Data-Driven Decision especially in the CTO perspective, Andrea Saltarello, CTO @Managed Designs 10:30-10:40: Small Break 10:40: Talk by Codemotion: Business / financial management, Andrea Saltarello, CTO @Managed Designs 12:15: Talk by Codemotion: Tech Team Management (pt.1), Antony Mistretta, Founder @Inglorious Coderz 13:15-14:00: Lunch break 14.00-16.30: Talk by Codemotion: Tech Team Management (pt. 2), Antony Mistretta, Founder @Inglorious Coderz All the talks have been held in english language.
Openings
The Bootcamp started with a brief talk of Mara Marzocchi, co-founder and Codemotion and operating as Chief Content Officer since 2011. She briefly reviewed the daily program and explained the attendees a series of info related to the overall course and the Codemotion roadmap for the upcoming months - which will eventually lead to Codemotion Milan 2019, the largest italian Tech Conference (October 24-25, 2019).
It was then the turn of Willie Elamien, Facebook Product Partnership Program Manager, which explained what Facebook Developer Circles actually is: a brand-new Facebook project aiming to create an international community made from local developer groups in the various parts of the globe and connect them with startups and companies looking for developers, tech leaders and CTOs.
The main idea of Developer Circles revolves consists in helping their members to collaborate, learn, and code in the following ways: Connect with other developers: Access an exclusive local Facebook Group community and attend meetups near you. Engage with local experts: Each community is organized and run by local developer Leads. Learn about new tech: Learn about Bots, AI, IoT, React and other tools. Build with other developers: Collaborate with developers of all types using the local communities and meetups. For additional info, you can visit the Facebook Developer Circles Presentation Video or just take a look to the official program page.
Data-Driven Decisions from the CTO perspective
The third talk was hosted by Andrea Saltarello, CTO at Managed Designs, Microsoft Regional Directors member and successful IT enterpreneur. During his long (~ 3 hours) attendance, he did a great job by bringing a lot of very interesting topics to the table. He started defining the main aspects that helps defining a good CTO: relying to data-driven decision instead of gut feeling; acting as a translation layer between business expectations and technicians, people vs strict way of thinking; being able to calculate how much amount you can afford to invest in knowledge in order to avoid the potential losses coming from innovations and breaking changes you might miss otherwise; being able to communicate with colleagues and employees and also enforce communication between layers; countinuosly sharing feedbacks, as opposed as keeping everyone in the dark.
He clearly explained how all these concepts, if properly embodied by a competent CTO, could help him in to match what company needs with what the employees - and the customers - like the most. He also introduced us to feenpal, a web-based e-invoicing SaaS he's currently working with, to make real-life examples of the decision-making tasks that a CEO has to perform when he's in charge of defining the launch of a new IT product. He explained how to rely with the other executive partners - the CEO, the CIO, the marketing manager and so on: once again, communication and knowledge sharing was the ultime key to success. He emphasized this concept a lot, and I think he pretty much nailed it: despite being obvious, most companies and startups just don't have it in their DNA, thus being unable to properly design and/or succesfully launch a new project.
It definitely was a great session, with a lot of valuable concepts to learn. I really liked the fact that most of the info transmitted by Andrea perfectly applies to any scenario - including the PMI-based Italian one - since most of these talks tend to give advices that are only fit for international companies.
Business & Financial Management
After a small coffee break, Andrea got the microphone back to talk about Business & Financial Management from a CTO perspective, consisting in a rather versatile and heterogeneous set of skills such as: planning the activities ahead, thus avoiding task switching; being able to handle the various aspects of the business plan, such as: anaging assets, evaluating the budget, being able to assess and prevent the risks, considering the change management costs and evaluate the gains & losses of present and future activities; being able to properly calculate the TCO (Total Cost of Ownership) using timesheets, GANTT and all the available data.
Again, the data-driven decision approach was granted a major role here.
Tech Team Management
Right after Andrea came the turn of Matteo Anthony Mistretta, the founder of Inglorious Coderz, who hosted a two-parts talk (before and after the lunch break) about Tech Team Management. I have to say that I literally loved his talk: during my 15 years of life spent as a lead developer, I can say I have experienced first-hand most - if not all - the scenarios, and samples that Matteo mentioned during his speech... and, most importantly, I approached them in the same way and reached the same conclusions - and, luckily enough, mostly achieved the same goals. That talk was almost a deja vu to me - to the point that I think I could also be an inglorious coder myself!
Jokes aside, Matteo made a terrific job explaining what being a Tech Team Manager actually means by making use of an enticing example-driven storytelling that encompassed the latest 20 years - roughly from the 2000s to the current days. Practical technical leading; the importance of communicating with the management - by properly "translating" the technical terms - and to push developers to do that as well; being a a leader, not a boss; the irreplaceable role of the metrics: pertinence, customizability, innovation, freshness and application, for the technologies; architertural skills, PM skills and trasversal skills, for developers; satisfaction and happiness, for the stakeholders; speed, cost, coverage and quality, for the actual development phase. Marco introduced and explained all of these concepts with an unique, passionate approach that could only come from the heart of someone who actually did that for a good part of his life, and the audience immediately got that.
The bootcamp lunch box: two big sandwitches, an Oreo pack and free water & coke! In the second part of the talk, he switched to Agile topics and introduced some key concepts of eXtreme Programming (XP), a development methodology that emphasizes software quality and code responsiveness by making and extensive use of some proven good coding practices, such as: measurable, understandable Values; Test-Driven Development; Pair Programming; steady develoment speed; frequent iterations; constant refactoring (to keep the complexity constantly low while adding new features); and so on. He then explained his views regarding how to be a good Project Manager: planning, coordinating activities (and assigning them properly), keeping track of what goes on (with timesheet and gantt), adapting to changes, driving communication, and - yet again - feedbacks. He then did the same with the key functions of a good Team Leader: assign responsibilities, making people grow, empowering people, leading by example, motivating.
Last, but not least, he talked about licensing management, first from the "buyer" and then from the "seller" point of view. He did his best to explain the differences between open-source and closed-source software, full packaged products (FPP), original equipment manufacturer (OEM), commercial use vs proprietary use, volume licensing, and so on. Truth to be told, this was perhaps the least intere spot of the whole talk - mostly because the previous topics were a blaze!
Conclusion
This was definitely a great bootcamp: the speakers did their best to give invualuable insights. I can only imagine how beneficial such "summary" would be for a young developer: I really wish I had these kind of stuff available when I started coding myself :) Can't wait for the next part! Read the full article
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Day 35. My alarm went off at 3:30am and I just had to give myself another 10 minutes before I could even begin to drag my butt out of that camper trailer. The good part is that by sleeping in the trailer I was already packed up and ready to go, I literally just had to put on my shoes and pickup my pack. I went to the garage and Dixie was the only person left in the room because all of the others had already packed up and left even earlier! So after a I've coffee in a can we set off from Hikertown. We had to leave that early because this is a very hot flat section of trail with basically no cover, no shade to escape under... that's why some many people just do this 24-mile section all at once over night. I liked the idea of breaking it up and not completely flipping my whole schedule to third shift. Right after we headed out there were kangaroo mice everywhere... these guys are fearless because they are faster than lightning, they would hop right up to you and get under your feet. I've always wanted to see these animals and was happy to see them up close be in person finally. After that we walked along the open part of the system be just as the sun was rising we turned left and started walking on and along the giant pipeline. We kept running into Sketch and eventually turned to walk down the concrete, covered portion of the aqueduct. We had LTE so we listened to a some music and I introduced her "our town" by iris dement. It was getting hot early... by 7:45am it was already getting warm wound that we both busted out our umbrellas be it felt more like 11-12. We were just talking about how great it would be to have some trail magic and that ice cold apples were some of the best magic you can get and within a short time we rolled up to a cooler under a shrub out in the mile of nowhere with ice and cold green tea drinks and wouldn't you know... apples! We signed the cooler with the supplied sharpie and kept going. Finally, after 17 miles and it starting to really be hot for the last hour or so until we made it to the bridge. This was the only real shade for us to retreat to for this whole section. Once we got here, we had planned to sleep all day in the shade and head out again once it got cooler. By the time we arrived, Beef Burger & Miffalin, Colin, and mixed bag were all there napping. Almost as soon as we got there and unpacked, a guy rolled up and said he had some trail magic! He had hiked the PCT previously and wanted to do some trail magic on this particularly hot and perilous stretch and he knew this was a common spot for hikers to take a break through the hottest part of the day. He asked for some help and me and another guy worked together to get the cooler down to the shade under the bridge. It was full of sodas and beer on ice and we were told to help ourselves. I was happy for the coke, all the sugar and caffeine are welcomed out here and I usually take it over beer when given a choice. The trail angel said that he also had some extra special trail magic for those who would be willing to participate in a quick video interview that he wanted to include in a YouTube video about trail magic. We unanimously agreed and were each given an pretty amazing chocolate chip cookie ice cream sandwich. He asked us all different questions about the trail and then asked us all what trail magic was to us. I'd like to see the video when he is done. I helped him get the cooler back to his truck and he left. Satisfied, we all took naps and had to periodically move our things as the sun moved in the sky and the shade shifted. After a good rest most of the hikers there ate dinner and packed up. We planned to hike from about 7pm on into the night as far as we could before getting tired enough to need to camp. Dixie and I headed out a little after 7 and started into the wind farm just before the sun went down. It was a pretty large but graded and steady climb most of the way. It was after dark when we passed the last wind turbine and turned back to look out at the wind farm from atop the peak of the hill... for some reason it felt nostalgic, everything seemed reminiscent of those warm summer nights as a teenager running around some place after dark where you shouldn't be, like running around a golf course or night swimming in a pool that isn't yours, the night just took me back to some of these memories and the young energy and excitement that had galvanized them in my mind yet I haven't haven't recalled them in so long. I was happy to be on the trail, wandering through the night with this kind of an atmosphere. Apparently, there was a black horse also wandering through this wind farm all night that groups ahead and behind us both saw but we somehow did not, kind of peculiar. Eventually we made it to a creek, a precious water source for this stretch, but at the ridge line just before descending to creek we could hear a rare sound for the desert... frogs chirping and croaking. The sound like kind of took us off guard and seemed out of place. We were tired and although we wanted to cover more ground that night it was getting late and we decided to cowboy camp there for the night. I went upstream until I found a soft level sandy patch of dry creek bed and rolled out my tyvek, sleeping pad, and sleeping bag. I changed into my sleeping clothes and was sleep in no time under the bright moon.
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34 Best Survival Hacks You Should Learn Right Now
Survival hacks are solutions that break the rules. The best survivalists don’t just blindly follow rulebooks, so we hack when necessary. Sure, there are hundreds of survival guides we learn from but you’re at a huge disadvantage when you rely too heavily on any one resource.
Real survival is a creative endeavor that requires fast thinking and an open mind. Sometimes you have to improvise, adapt, and make it up as you go along. You have to make split-second decisions. You have to work with what you have got.
You have to think like McGyver by survival hacking your way to safety.
Some of the following survival hacks are my own personal tricks, others I have learned from different survivalists, but together they are very useful and applicable in most any survival scenario.
But remember: you can always “make up” a new survival hack on the fly. All you need is a goal and a handful of random materials. There’s always more than one way to solve any problem.
The following list of survival hacks is not comprehensive. In fact, these 34 survival hacks are just a small drop in a much larger bucket. But this list will inspire you in a creative survival sort of way.
The Survival Hacks (We’ll Start Simple)
1 – Dorito Fire Starters
If you need to get a fire started ASAP, but don’t have paper or lighter fluid, use Doritos (any corn chip will work well). These chips are flammable and will ignite quickly. They are a perfect makeshift tinder to get a small quick flame. Time to survival hack your way into building a much larger fire.
They are a perfect makeshift tinder to get a small quick flame. Use Doritos to survival hack your way to build a much larger fire.
2 – Alcohol Swabs as Fire Starters
Similarly to Doritos, alcohol swabs are incendiary. The alcohol makes them flammable enough to catch quickly and the cotton holds a flame long enough to establish a lasting fire.
3 – Battery as Fire Starter
Another great survival hack to generate flame is to use a battery and a couple small pieces of tin foil (or wire). By placing one tin foil strip on each end of the battery, you can get the foil to heat up and burst into flame.
Any battery will do, and the flame generated should be big enough to set fire to paper, thin bark, alcohol swabs or even Dorito chips.
4 – Pencil + Jumper Cables + Battery = Fire
Simply attach the cables to your car battery like you are giving someone a jump. But connect the other ends to a pencil.
The graphite core of the writing utensil will conduct electricity, heating up and causing the pencil to burst into flames.
5 – Crisco Candles
Often times, in survival situations, people lose electricity to power their lights. But fear not! As in times of old, you can use candles to generate light. But what can you do if you are fresh out of wax candles?
Crisco makes a good candle “wax” substitute. Just run a makeshift wick through a big glop of it and you’ll be good to go.
6 – Crayon Candles
Crayons are more than just art supplies for kids. They can be stood up on end, lite on fire, and viola you have a makeshift candle. Each crayon candle will only last about 15 minutes but you can get a box of 96 crayons. That equates to 24 hours of emergency light.
7 – Terra Cotta Heaters
Here’s a survival hack for when there is no electric heat, and you need to warm up a small room. Well, without a fireplace, starting a fire in the living room is out of the question. But there is another way: terra cotta conducts heat very well and radiates the warmth that it collects.
By placing a few candles beneath an upside down terra cotta pot (which can easily be bought at any hardware or garden store) you can create a mini-heater that will pump out a surprising amount of heat.
Set up a few of these makeshift heaters and your home will be nice and toasty in no time!
8 – Coke Can Alcohol Jet Stove
Cut the top of the coke can off about 2-3 inches from the bottom of can, and turn it upside down. Drill or poke holes in the bottom of the can so that air can flow through the ��stove’. Place a gel fuel tin (or something similar) under the upside down coke can and light it.
You may have to adjust the size of your holes and the airflow somewhat, but once you get it, you should have a working jet stove.
9 – Wild Plants For Insect Repellant
Smoke of any kind works as a general insect repellant, but a few wild plants work as well.
The video below is proof that the right wild plants will keep these dangerous pests at bay.
10 – Super Glue Stitches
Super glue is small, easy to carry, and when there is an open wound that needs closing there really isn’t anything (short of actual stitches) that is better suited for the job.
Just make sure to pinch the laceration closed until the glue dries.
11 – Makeshift Slings
Slings are one of those things you don’t need until you really need one. Luckily, they are pretty simple and really easy to improvise: bandanas, t-shirts, hoodies, blankets and tarps can all work.
If it is too big, cut it, if it is too small, tie a few together.
12 – Hunting Broad Heads From Keys
With the right kind of tools and a file, a key can be shaped into a makeshift hunting broadhead.
13 – Duct Tape Fletching
If you are making your own arrows, you will undoubtedly need a form of fletching. Fletching is the feather (or foam, or plastic) “rudder” at the end of your arrow. It stabilizes the shaft during flight and increases accuracy by a great measure.
In a pinch, when you do not have the time to craft fine fletching on each arrow, duct tape can provide the necessary stiffness to balance the flight of your projectile.
14 – Can Top Fishing Hooks
Fishing is one of the best ways to gather food in wilderness surviving. But finding the right materials is not easy. Luckily, one very common item makes for an almost perfect fishing hook: pop tops!
The fun little tags on top of your beer and soda cans are a great shape to make a fishing hook out of. All you have to do is remove one segment of the top and file it to a point. And there it is: you’ve got yourself a functional fishing hook.
15 – Gorge Fishing Hook
Gorge fishing is one of the oldest methods for fishing. Human beings have been using this technique for thousands of years to catch fish, and it is pretty simple: sharpen both ends of a small twig or stick, and carve out a notch in the center of it.
Wrap line around the carved notch and stick your bait on one sharp end. Drop the gorge hook in the water, and when a fish swallows it, pull the line hard and the twig will turn sideways inside the fish, lodging in its throat and securing your dinner for the night.
16 – Fish Trap from 2-liter Bottle
Take the cap off of the top and cut that end of the bottle right just where it reaches full thickness. Flip the smaller piece and insert it back into the bottle, in reverse. You may have to make a few cuts in the cap end so that it fits snugly inside the bottle’s body. Tie (or otherwise secure) the inverted cap end inside with wire or string.
The basic idea of this trap is the same as any commercial crabbing trap: for fish to swim inside, where they will not be able to swim back out.
Of course, don’t expect to catch any monster fish with this, but it is a good way to secure a few mouthful of minnows.
17 – Yucca Sewing Kit
This is one of my favorites, but it is also only viable in certain geographic areas of the United States.
Yucca is a sharp, agave-like plant with big fat leaves that end in sharp barbed points. Cut one of the leaves off the plant, and start shaving off the edges, until you are left with a long thin, single strip of Yucca with the barb at one end.
Now, cut that thin strip in half and twist the two strands together like a small rope. This will increase the tensile strength of the twine and leaves you with a sharp needle and a thread with which to sew your torn garments.
18 – Water Bottle Ceiling Lights
Need a ceiling light, but don’t have electricity? We got you covered. Just fill a transparent water bottle with water and cut a hole in the roof of your shelter (this probably will not fly in the house).
Jam the bottle up in the hole, and there it is! The light will travel through the water and disperse (hooray for physics), creating a source of light to brighten up your darkest days.
19 – Desk Lamp Water Jug
Gallon jugs of water can work as lamps too! Just fill them up, and wrap a headlamp around them. The light from the headlamp will turn that gallon jug into a bright desk or table lamp.
20 – Improvised Compass
This is one of the oldest and most useful survival hacks in the “book”.
Get a cup or puddle of water (it does not matter as long as it is still and not flowing), lay a leaf in the center of it and gently place a sewing needle or piece of wire on top, so it floats. The magnetic fields of the Earth will naturally orient the needle to point North/South.
This trick has saved thousands of humans over the centuries and is a hack every survivalist should know well.
21 – Rain Collection from A Tarp
All you need is a large tarp and a 5-gallon bucket to collect a significant amount of water when the skies open up. Even in a light drizzle, you can collect a decent amount of drinkable water with this simple survival hack.
22 – Signaling Whistle from Bullet Casing
Maybe might have noticed that larger spent bullet cartridges look a lot like whistles. This similarity was not lost on us, and with a few precise cuts, you can make a very loud, very shrill whistle, perfect for signaling distress.
23 – Folgers Toilet Paper Protector
What is worse than going to the bathroom only to discover you have no toilet paper? Going to the bathroom and discovering that the toilet paper you did bring is soaking wet… I only had to make this mistake once before I changed my ways forever.
Now, I use a coffee can to house my toilet paper, keeping it forever dry! Zip lock bags work well too and pack easily.
24 – Condom Canteen
Yeah, you read that right. Those trusty rubbers are good for more than just baby-prevention, they can also save you from dying of thirst.
Fill one up with water, and carry it with you if there are not any other viable options for transporting the water. Just make sure the condom is not used, or flavored, or lubed.
25 – Improvised Reflective Signals
These can be fashioned from any number of reflective materials; rear-view mirrors, CD’s, polished metal and even jewelry can work.
Of course, some are easier to work with than others. But as long as it shimmers in the sunlight, you should be good to use it as a distress signal.
26 – Tarp Shelters
Survival shelters are hard to come by in many situations. Especially a waterproof shelter. But with a
But with a large survival tarp, you can make sure that you stay dry and protected from the elements.
Tarps do not insulate very well, though, so while it is possible to just hang one up and pass out underneath it, you won’t be staying warm for long. So, the best way to remedy this it to build a small stick frame (like that of a tent) and lay the tarp over it.
Then, pile dirt and moss and leaves up against the sides of the tarp, this will act as insulation and keep your heat from dissipating too quickly.
Snow can be substituted for the dirt in winter (like an igloo).
Here’s where you can get an Aqua Defender King Camo Tarp like the one in this video.
Complex Survival Hacks
27 – Hunting Bow from a Bike Tire
There are a few slightly different methods to accomplish this, but the general idea is the same. First cut the frame of a bike wheel in half, clean out the spokes and sand down the sharp edges.
Then create a guidance system for your string with a couple of well-placed eyelets along the cut rim of the wheel.
The video below goes into much greater detail. It takes time, and it requires a number of supplies to accomplish successfully, but this is the kind of thing that could be used for hunting or self-defense in a pinch.
28 – Makeshift Raft
If I learned anything from the movie Jaws, it’s that empty plastic containers float pretty well. That simple fact applies to smaller containers too; like drinking water bottles and gallon jugs.
By fastening a bunch of empty plastic containers together – either with string or by wrapping them all together in a tarp – you can create a pretty big flotation device capable of carrying at least one person.
29 – Coffee Can Wood Burning Stove
Coffee cans are useful for a lot of purposes. But perhaps my favorite (and one I learned years ago, back in cub scouts), is the wood burning rocket stove.
Turn the metal coffee can (plastic won’t work, sorry) upside down on the ground, and punch a couple of ventilation holes in (what is now) the top of the can. You can also cut a small circle of the flat part for increased airflow.
Cut a square out of the side of the can where you can feed the fire inside. Now all you have to do is collect wood, and keep the inferno inside your coffee can burning.
These stoves work great for cooking outdoors when you don’t have a gas stove or don’t want to cook over an open fire. They also generate a lot of heat and can act like a small heater on chilly nights.
30 – Blanket Chair
Just because you don’t have access to your favorite Lazy Boy recliner, doesn’t mean you have to forsake comfort entirely.
By building a tripod A-frame out of 4 or more solid branches, and tying a blanket or a tarp to it, you can make a very comfortable, single person camp chair, perfect for keeping your bum off the cold ground.
31 – Homemade Penicillin
If you are not familiar with the revolutionary excellence of penicillin as an antibiotic, you need to get educated. This awesome little mold was one of the first ever discovered antibiotics used to fight bacterial infections.
And in the wilderness, or in a survival situation, having an antibiotic to fight an infection will absolutely save your life.
Before antibiotics were discovered, people regularly died because of small cuts that got infected. And you will too, without antibiotics. But you need to be careful, making sure to follow every step in the process as closely as possible.
And I wouldn’t wait around until you have an infection to start growing penicillin – because that is already too late. This is one that needs to be planned ahead by growing your own or with survival antibiotics…
32 – Ping Pong Ball Smoke Bomb
Have you ever tried lighting a Ping-Pong ball on fire? If so, you know that they are incredibly incendiary. They light up like the 4th of July.
By wrapping tin foil around the ping pong ball, and leaving a funnel for air at one end, you can create a fairly effective smoke bomb.
Put a flame to the bottom of the tin foil wrapped ball until the plastic inside ignites. And BOOM! Smoke will start billowing out the funnel.
33 – Grass Tire Pressure
If you get a flat tire and do not have an air pump, a spare, a patching kit, cell service to call for help, or any other viable option, you can fill a burst tire with grass and other foliage to provide just enough support to drive on it.
Simply cut a few holes on the inside of the tire and start stuffing! Obviously, you will not be able to use that tire ever again – it will need to be replaced – so don’t do this unless you have no other options.
34 – Improvised Perimeter Alarms
Security is important and becomes more important in survival situations. Air horns, firecrackers, or any triggering device can be rigged with string to go off when someone trips the wire.
A well-planned perimeter alarm system can help you get a good nights sleep when you’re concerned about trespassers.
You can pick up some Sentry Alarm Mines that work with .22 rounds. When tripped, these will fire off the .22 round and make one hell of a bang.
The Final Word
There is no “right way” to survive. Each individual is going to have his or her own survival style, tricks, and hacks. I highly encourage everyone to develop your own…
No website, survival book, or teacher will ever capture every possible survival hack. Quite simply because there’s always new ones being developed by clever survivalists. Anyone with a handful of materials, a goal, and the will to survive, will rig together things in order to stay alive.
So share your own survival hacks with us today in the comments below!
– Will Brendza
http://www.skilledsurvival.com/survival-hacks/
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Art Supplies and Paper: Chapter 10
Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7 (AO3 link cause it somehow got deleted from tumblr), Chapter 8, Chapter 9
Pam walked out of the building and spotted Jim sitting on a bench in the park across the street. She sat next to him, “Your note really helped me get through that. So thanks.”
“No problem. Let’s head to the car.”
“Okay.”
About 10 minutes into the care ride Jim asked, “ So, I have been wondering how a very talented young artist, who was able to get into Pratt, got stuck as an employee at a midsized art supply store?”
“That’s a long story.”
“We have a 2.5 hour car ride, fill me in.”
“First you have to tell me about your most recent relationship.” She said hoping it would buy her some time.
“Other than a few unreciprocated flirtations from my co-worker, Karen, my last somewhat serious relationship was this handbag sales girl named Katie.”
That wasn't quite as much as she thought but, oh well.
“Okay, I think I have mentioned this once, but I was engaged for nearly 3 years to my high school sweetheart. And lets just say he is not the ambitious type. We both went to Scranton Community College while living at home for a year, then he proposed and we moved in together. We finished school and I got a job at the art supply store and he found work as a warehouse worker. We had been dating for almost 6 years at this point. Over the 3 years that we were engaged, I mentioned going to Pratt or some sort of art school a few times, his response was always something to the tune of ‘why bother you’ll just be my little housewife anyway?’ The last time I mentioned it, we had set a date, and it was two days away. I asked him again, because now that we are married financial aid would actually be better, and it would give him an excuse to visit New York City more often, and plus there was a 12 week break between sessions. He exploded, and I will never forget what he said to me, ‘Jesus Christ Pammy, would you just drop this hole art school program thing, and just be my damn wife? I need you to cook and clean. What kind of job an even get with that degree? You just end up at home with the kids anyway.’ I didn’t even say anything back, I just pulled the ring of my finger and slammed it on the counter, went to our room and packed a bag and left. That was 6 months ago.”
“Wow. Sounds like a total asshole, who didn’t deserve you at all. We are about halfway, pull into the next gas station and we’ll switch places.”
“I’ll fill, you run in and get some drinks.”
Jim jogged into the am/pm and found a grape soda and a coke, made his purchase and jogged back to the car.
Pam was still pumping the gas when he came back, so he stood with her.
She had taken note of the jogging and carefully flicked the top and sides of the can and opened it slowly.
Jim on the other hand just went for it. He cracked the lid, and there was grape soda everywhere.
“What the hell happened?”
“I don’t know” He looked at her with a grin
“You are such an idiot.”
She looked at him covered in grape soda, and thought, Kelly was right, I’m so smitten with him.
“ Hey come here, you know that note and you being able to handle what I just dumped on you, and that you still want to be friends with me..”
“Who wouldn’t want to be friends with you?” Jim asked as he inched closer.
"Lot's of people, but here's the thing, I want more than that with you."
"I do too."
#the office#the office fandom#the office fanfic#the office fan fiction#jim halpert#jim x pam#Pam Beesly#jam#pb&j
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A Bike Ride Across America
[NOTE: 2020 is the tenth year of my blog at Semi-Rad.com, and since I started it, I’ve been fortunate to get to do some pretty wonderful adventures. Throughout this year, I’ll be writing about 12 favorite adventures I’ve had since I started writing about the outdoors, one per month. This is the second in the series. The other stories in the series are here.]
As we looked over our menus, we began to sense that the Waffle House staff was nearing a complete meltdown. It was evening, Day 39 of our 49-day bicycle ride across America, March 15, 2010, and Tony and I had finished our day of riding, pushed our bikes and trailers into a hotel room a block away, showered, and walked to the nearest restaurant, which was a Waffle House. Tony and I were tired and ready to eat. Almost six weeks into our trip, our bodies had basically turned into machines that pedaled fully-loaded bicycles all day, burning 4,000 to 8,000 calories every day. We had taken only three rest days so far, and we would only take one more the rest of the 3,000-mile trip, so our average mileage for a day of riding was 66.67 miles. The day we arrived in Bayou La Batre, we had pedaled 105 miles, from Rogers Lake, Mississippi. It was my first-ever century ride, and although Waffle House might not be many people’s first choice after a ride like that, I was more than fine with it.
My back was to the open kitchen, so I could only eavesdrop, but Tony could see everything. From what we gathered, a rather large carryout order had come in, and the cook had basically totally fucked it up, causing delays in not only the large carryout order, but all the orders for customers sitting in the dining area as well. Not to mention the the staff, arguing amongst themselves in full view, enough to convince even the most die-hard Waffle House fan to eat elsewhere that night. Despite pleas from the waitstaff to call a manager in to help, the cook adamantly refused, making things awkward for literally everyone within earshot, which is to say the entire restaurant. It was the kind of thing that nowadays someone would record on a smartphone and post to Twitter in hopes that it would go viral. Since I couldn’t see, Tony narrated for me, as we tried to calculate how much food to order to replace 105 miles’ worth of calories:
“This is total mayhem.”
“The cook just threw something.”
“Okay, now the younger waitress is in the back crying.”
Were we not touring cyclists, we might have just decided to leave. But: It was evening, and we just wanted to eat and go to bed so we could get up early and pedal 60-some miles the next day, and our dining options in a small town were pretty limited, and further limited by the fact that if we wanted to go to a different restaurant, we’d have to walk to get to wherever it was. And, you know, you sort of have to ask yourself: If I want to go see America, is America things like the Statue of Liberty, the Grand Canyon, and the Hollywood sign? Or is it a Waffle House in a small town, hoping that the staff doesn’t mutiny, so we can get some hash browns? That’s a rhetorical question, but I’d argue for the Waffle House, open 24 hours, 365 days a year, a completely different scene at 2 a.m. than at 7:30 a.m., affordable to anyone who can scrounge up five bucks and thus open to people of all income levels but mostly patronized by those of us not in the 1 percent, potential for brief moments of public theater, but mostly just chugging along, making eggs and waffles. I mean, I love the Grand Canyon, but I think you can learn more about America at a diner.
We eventually were able to place our order, our food eventually came to the table, we eventually ate everything, and the Waffle House was still standing the next morning when we returned for breakfast, like nothing happened. We ate pretty much the same thing as the night before, and a local sitting at the counter chatted us up, reminding us that part of Forrest Gump was set here, in Bayou La Batre, Benjamin Buford “Bubba” Blue’s hometown, and where Forrest buys a boat to start the Bubba Gump shrimp company.
Tony and I went to high school in a town not much bigger than Bayou La Batre, and we spent many Friday and Saturday nights working together in a restaurant, washing dishes and busing tables. Tony shot up to 6 feet, 10 inches tall mid-high school, and everyone expected him to play basketball, but he had other ideas. He topped out at 7 feet tall, went to college, became a chiropractor in Chicago, and an entrepreneur.
When he asked me in 2009 if I’d like to bicycle across the country with him the next year, I said of course I would. He said he’d pay for it, which was an ideal situation for me, since I was making $26,000 a year working at a nonprofit. I had been riding my steel road bike to and from work daily in Denver for three and a half years, while trying to become an “adventure writer” in my spare time. In Chicago, Tony had been getting into triathlons and road rides. The last time we’d ridden our bikes any distance together was the last time I did RAGBRAI, the bike ride across Iowa, in 2000, and that was more of a party than a bike tour for us, if I’m honest.
Having not spent much time together in the past eight years, but hoping we could make it across the country on bikes and remain friends, we dipped our tires in the Pacific at Ocean Beach in San Diego on February 5, 2010, pushed them to the pavement, and started pedaling. Our final intended destination was St. Augustine, Florida, the opposite end of the Adventure Cycling Association’s Southern Tier Route, the flattest, shortest route across the country. Our first day, we climbed out of San Diego, managing 34.5 miles to Alpine, California.
Before I left for the trip, my wise friend Mick gave me two pieces of advice about long bike tours: 1) “You’re going to have some high highs and some low lows out there,” and 2) “Don’t try to muscle through anything—just keep spinning.” And my friend Maynard half-joked: “I hope you like riding eight miles per hour into a headwind.” All those things would ring true in the span of about 24 hours, much later in the trip.
I didn’t have any grand ideas about the trip, besides maybe being able to write about it, a magazine article, maybe even a book? I knew bicycling across America wasn’t the most unique thing, but maybe something would happen that would sustain a narrative. I bought a url and put up a blog to keep our friends and families up to date on our progress, and to help raise money for the nonprofit I worked for. I packed a $250 Asus laptop to try to keep the blog updated, and added wifi service to my Verizon plan, so I could turn my flip phone into a hotspot when we weren’t staying in a hotel with wifi.
I updated the blog every day, downloading photos from our digital cameras, writing a few sentences about our progress, sometimes a quote from a conversation with a stranger. Most days, though, in the “no shit, there I was …” sense of adventure writing, nothing really happened. What did happen is we plugged away, every day. We got up, ate as much food as we could stomach, got dressed, filled our water bottles, wheeled our bikes out to the road, swung a leg over the saddle, and started pedaling. We’d ride together for a few minutes, and Tony would get warmed up, and start to pull away, riding a half-mile, or a mile, or two miles ahead of me the entire day, stopping every couple hours to check in, or to stop at a cafe to eat lunch, or to pop into a convenience store to buy cans of Coke, Snickers bars, and whatever other calories looked good. Somewhere between 40 and 105 miles, we’d stop, find a hotel, shower, and eat at a restaurant somewhere. Tony wasn’t that excited to camp, although we’d brought camping gear (including a tent that could fit a 7-foot-tall person). I protested at first, saying I thought it would be “more legit” if we camped more. Tony said, “Riding your bike across America is legit,” and I could not argue with that point.
We rode across the bottom of California, occasionally looking to the U.S.-Mexico border fence to our right. We rode into Phoenix from the northwest, and out the southeast side, almost 60 miles of pedaling to get across the entire urban spread, and pedaled through the desert, away from angry dogs (I eventually developed a technique of explosively yelling at them, which stopped them in their tracks, surprised—except for the rottweilers) and into New Mexico, where we hit the highest elevation of the trip, 8,228-foot Emory Pass, on Day 15. We started to meet other cyclists on the same route, either headed the same direction or the opposite way, and realized there was really no “typical” cross-country rider: some were pedaling 50 or more miles a day, unsupported and stealth camping, others were riding solo 20 or 30 miles a day with a friend driving a minivan somewhere behind them, some had a schedule, some were taking their time.
On Day 20, we adjusted our route to take a less hilly path, avoiding the Davis Mountains in west Texas and heading to the town of Marfa on US 90. My memory of the day is the flattest, straightest road I’ve ever ridden on, with a few barely noticeable adjustments to the left, a slight uphill grade the entire way, and wide-open ranch land along both sides of the road. In the morning, we caught up with a couple named Bruce and Dana, a pair of retired teachers from Tacoma, and rode with them a good part of the day. The chipseal road was so rough that we tried to keep our wheels on the painted white line on the side of the road because it was that much smoother. Tony said he watched his bike computer slow from 12-14 mph to 9 mph several times when he rolled off the white line. In 75 miles of riding, the only town we’d go through on our map was Valentine, Texas, population 184, with no businesses to speak of besides the post office. A few miles before Valentine, however, is the art installation Prada Marfa, a fake Prada store in the middle of nowhere. I was riding with Bruce and Dana, and Tony was ahead of us somewhere. We stopped, took some photos, and pedaled on, catching Tony in Valentine a few miles later. He hadn’t stopped at the Prada store, because he hadn’t even noticed it on the side of the road as he rolled past—which is either almost unbelievable because the ride was so straight-ahead monotonous, or completely expected because the ride was so straight-ahead monotonous.
A few days later, I got the high highs and low lows Mick had promised. I did a lot of things to pass the time out there, pedaling six to eight hours a day, all the time in my own head while Tony rode a ways ahead. Tony had a little speaker on his bike to play music while he rode—I didn’t want to listen to music because I thought it would ruin my favorite music for me, spending all day listening to the same playlists, for 300+ hours total by the end of the trip. So I chose silence, talking to cows as I passed, making up lyrics to songs, sometimes talking to myself a bit. I didn’t have a bike computer or smartphone map, so I just pedaled, watching the horizon for signs of the next town. It was fantastically boring, and a decade later, when I spend all my waking hours checking my phone every few minutes, I look back on it with incredible nostalgia. I suppose we always look at the past as “a simpler time,” no matter what, because we remember the images in our minds and the general tone of a memory, but forget all the other things we were thinking about at the time. But it really did seem simple: wake up, eat, pedal, eat, pedal, eat, go to sleep. Repeat until you hit an ocean.
On Day 23, a few miles outside of Langtry, Texas, unincorporated, population 12, home to a museum and almost nothing else, I was pedaling by myself as the wind picked up, right in my face. I had read somewhere on the internet that you could camp in Langtry, but if you didn’t arrive by 5 p.m., the water was shut off. So I was a little anxious to get there as the wind started pushing into my face, then getting worried, because I had almost no water to drink, let alone to cook our food with when we camped that night. Then I got a flat tire. And the wind picked up. Then I got another flat tire. I got very frustrated, and then just kind of lost it for a few seconds. I screamed at the top of my lungs, while pedaling by myself, into the wind, alone on a highway, for a couple minutes, cranking my metaphorical steam valve wide open, and then, catching my breath, closed it again. Low low, check.
When I arrived in Langtry, the rumor about water turned out to be false, and I bought and ate a couple ice cream sandwiches at the corner store. We set up the tent, ate dinner, crashed, and during the night, the wind picked up to a steady 30 mph, coming from the east. The next morning, we headed out, with a handful of candy bars from the museum store to sustain us to Del Rio, 55 miles away. We pedaled, looking like two cartoon characters leaning into the wind, granny gear on the uphills, and granny gear on the downhills too. I just laughed, and kept spinning. The wind wouldn’t let up, or even change direction. If we had more food with us, we might have stopped for the night, but we didn’t, so our only hope was to reach Del Rio. We pedaled for 11 hours, stopping once at a small bar to grab a couple bags of potato chips and a few candy bars. We averaged 5 miles per hour the entire way, the wind never relenting until our last five miles into Del Rio, in the dark. Pedaling 8 miles per hour into a headwind, as Maynard had said, would have been a dream.
We rolled our bikes into a hotel room in Del Rio, ordered three large pizzas from Domino’s, ate them, and went to bed. Later that year, Tony would finish his first Ironman Triathlon, and when I texted him to congratulate him, he texted back that it wasn’t nearly as bad as “that day in Texas with the headwind.”
One of the things I believe many people will tell you about a long trip, whether it’s thru-hiking a long-distance trail, backpacking a hostel circuit for a month and a half, or pedaling a bicycle for weeks at a time, is that it’s as much about the people you meet as it is about the places you see. You meet people on a bike tour because you are on a bike, and the bicycle is a conversation starter. People see you as somewhere between a little crazy and complete idiots because you choose to travel by bicycle in the 21st century, but also because of the bicycle probably harmless enough that you won’t mind a little chit chat. If they see you and your fully-loaded bicycle outside a restaurant, convenience store, or hotel somewhere, they will ask you some, if not all, of these four questions:
Where are you headed?
Where did you start?
How many miles do you ride every day?
What do you eat?
At some point in the conversation, you will get a chance to ask them, “Are you from around here?” or something similar, and in that way, you get to meet a few people. Which is something that happens way less when you’re traveling inside a gas-powered, climate-controlled vehicle, in my experience. On my bike, I had brief conversations with Wal-Mart greeters, waitstaff, ferry employees, convenience store clerks, and fellow restaurant patrons, and it helped new, strange places feel welcoming, wherever we were.
The thing I started to feel as we racked up the miles, and that we both agreed on years later, is that we were going a little too fast, and that maybe it would have been nice to take a little more time and do a little more exploring, and talking to people. At the time, though, Tony’s business was young, and he was definitely motivated to get back to work instead of trying to keep things moving forward from the road with spotty cell service. And I was really just grateful to have two months off work (even unpaid), something that hasn’t happened since and may not happen again in my life. As we made our way across Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, and finally, Florida, we ran into more and more people bicycling the Southern Tier, and even one lady, Robin, riding the Southern Tier as just one leg of a giant rectangle around the perimeter of the United States, ensuring she’d still be pedaling her bike after I’d been back in the office for six months.
We had friends join us for sections, including our pal Nick, from high school, who rode the last 210 miles with us from Tallahassee to St. Augustine, slipping in as seamlessly as if he’d ridden the previous 2800 miles with us. As we got closer to the final miles, I started to think about what we’d done, and how I framed it in my life. I couldn’t really nail it down. It felt like a big adventure, but in the Yvon Chouinard “when everything goes wrong, that’s when adventure starts” sense, well, we made it through pretty unscathed and according to plan, aside from a bunch of flat tires and a couple of worn-out bike chains. It went really well—basically the opposite of a book like Into Thin Air, when everything did go wrong, to the point where it became a disaster and a bunch of people died. In 49 days together, we didn’t even have enough disagreements to fill half of an episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey.
In the ten years since Tony and I started pedaling east from San Diego, I’ve been lucky to spend lots of time in the outdoors, doing a bunch of different things that fall under the idea of “adventure.” Whether it’s backpacking, rock climbing, mountaineering, backcountry skiing, trail running, kayaking, whitewater rafting, or bikepacking, I think about all of it as travel, and trying to understand something through a mode of travel. Because whether it’s a boulder problem or a 2,200-mile thru-hike, you define it by traveling from one place to another by human-powered means, crimping through a 12-foot tall V11 or walking at 3 mph for 250 miles, starting line to finish line or put-in to take-out. On our bike ride across America, I realized that traveling by bicycle is just about my favorite way to see a place: slow enough to take in scenery, but with the ability to coast, carrying everything I need with me, but not on my back, and burning enough calories to eat a large pizza every evening if I want to.
I’ve since become friends with a couple of people who also bicycled across the U.S., but aren’t from here, one Chinese and the other English. I sometimes wonder how different their trips were from mine, and how different their perspective was on it. And if any of us, or anyone really, can say they’ve actually “seen America,” because America is a story, or an idea, and it’s much different now than when I pedaled across it in 2010. I guess all I know is that if you want to put in the effort and you want to feel like you’ve seen it, I don’t know a better way than on a two-wheeled machine that runs on Snickers bars and diner coffee. I can’t say exactly where you should go to look for America; I can just say I’d look somewhere besides the internet.
I never did try to write a book about our trip. I did manage a couple magazine articles, and a few blogs about bike touring, and I left our blog up on the internet for a decade before I finally made it private. But as the 10-year mark approached, I wanted to do something to thank Tony for the trip. So I started copying and pasting all the text from all those blogs, and tracking down all the photos, cringing at some of my writing (and fashion choices) at the time.
I spent probably 25 or 30 hours formatting them into a hardcover book. I printed a total of three copies—one for Tony, one for me, and one for my parents (my Dad had printed off and kept all the blog posts in a file this whole time). The photography isn’t amazing, and I’m not particularly proud of the writing, but it’s a book.
I finally finished it and had it ready to ship to Tony a few days late for the 10th anniversary of the start of our trip, and wrote a few sentences on a card to stick in the package. Now I can’t remember the exact words I wrote, except for two things: “Thanks,” and “still one of the biggest and best adventures of my life.”
—Brendan
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