I'm bored, so take different people's reactions to Xie Lian's spiritual array password ('just recite the Ethics Sutra a thousand times'):
Quan Yizhen: No matter how many fucking times it is explained to him, he will never get it. He will sit there in utter silence for at least twenty minutes (everyone thinks he's talking to Xie Lian), until he's asked what he's talking about to Xie Lian, and he gets pissy because they interrupted his count - by this time, it becomes realised that he has fallen for it again. Extra points if it's like, a super dangerous mission and his team is in desperate need of support so they're like "Qi Ying, contact His Highness for backup now!" while they fight this massive fucken ghost and he goes utterly still, face screwing up in concentration, and just gets pummelled into the nearest wall. He ends up just using other people to talk to Xie Lian.
Lang Qianqiu: At first, he finds it funny because what a silly little joke from his former mentor, if only he was this funny when he had been teaching him all those years ago. After a while though, he starts getting slowly irritated each time he has to communicate with Xie Lian because he has to catch himself out as he starts reciting the Ethics Sutra, silently cursing himself out in his head.
Ling Wen: If she ever does need to communicate with Xie Lian, it's for official business so she has no time to think about it too much, and therefore cannot be tripped up by it. However, after a long while without sleep, she will occasionally find herself quite literally doing what the password commands, and will allow a little smile at the thought. One time when this happened, she was reported to have started manically laughing and placing her head into her hands.
Pei Ming: He finds it fucking HILARIOUS. Like, imagine Feng Xin's reaction but times ten at least, as he laughs uproariously and slaps his hand to his knee, all the while pointing at Xie Lian and going, "Your Highness, I didn't realise you were such a comedian!!" No matter how many times he communicates with Xie Lian, he will always laugh at it for a few minutes. He's like a father. I if he's talking about using the array, everyone can immediately tell who he's communicating with based on whether or not he laughs.
Shi Qingxuan: I honestly think they'd have a little laugh about it at first, and then never react to it ever again. Like, "Hahaha" and that's it. They never really get caught out by it, because their brain is going into overdrive about whatever they want to talk to Xie Lian about so they just break their way into his Array with little thought to it all. Not that they're dumb in any sense of the word, they're just so focused on their gossip that they shake at the bars of the cage without even remotely thinking too hard about it.
Shi Wudu: I know he'd probably communicate with Xie Lian through other people but, on the rare occasion that he communicates with His Highness personally, he is not at all amused. He calls it childish and silly. Well, in public, anyway. In private, he'll probably actually find himself having a little chuckle about it, shaking his head as he enters the array before pulling up his walls instantly.
Yushi Huang: Xie Lian gets really embarrassed telling her because it feels childish, and she let him borrow her spiritual device during his first ascension, so he doesn't want her to be like "can't believe I let this child use my spiritual device." When he does eventually tell her, she probably smiles and nods, but doesn't give any other reaction. Inside? Knee slaps all around for the Crown Prince.
He Xuan: Why does he have to personally communicate Xie Lian? He doesn't want to risk Hua Cheng beating him if he says something "wrong". When he hears Xie Lian's password, he stares at him with a glower that could kill if it were any other person, letting out the most empty laugh ever so he didn't get beaten, before walking away. So no, he does not care for Xie Lian's humour, and did not fall for it - he did. He did fall for it, but he has such a resting bitch face that it's hard to tell. He gets mad at himself for falling for it. He pretends not to. Hua Cheng knows though, and He Xuan knows that he knows.
Yin Yu: So, imagine you're an underpaid, overworked employee with an absolutely terrifying boss. He scares the shit out of you. He has a very lovely husband who he cares about dearly and will definitely be pissed off at you if you dare hurt his husband. His husband makes a joke and you can feel your boss' eyes glaring right into your soul from behind. This is how Yin Yu feels when he's told about Xie Lian's password. So, of course, I'm sure you can all picture the - in Yin Yu's opinion - most exaggerated falling for it ever, followed by laughter that reeks of "please, PLEASE go with this. I don't want to lose my job", until Yin Yu has to physically stop to breathe.
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RANKING TGCF CHARACTERS BY HOW LONG I THINK THEY WOULD SURVIVE IN FNAF:
12. QI RONG: dies in night 1 at 12:30 A.M because doesn't listen to Phone Guy's instructions and wanders around the pizzeria. Probably kicked an animatronic because he's bored.
11. LANG QIANQIU: tried to be calm and serene about the situation, but gets anxious and angry and goes fight the animatronics. Leaves the security office and Foxy inmediatly kills him.
10. BEEFLEAF: if they're together they die in night 1 because sqx gets braver at hx's side and is curious, goes to explore and brings hx along. Obviously, they get killed.
9. HE XUAN: they go to the kitchen for a midnight snack at 5:00 A.M and finds Chica there. She kills them.
8. FENG XIN: survives night 1 (he didn't listen to the instructions so is a miracle), but runs out of patience in night 2 and fights the animatronics when they try to enter the office instead of closing the door. He loses.
7. SHI QINGXUAN: if they are alone, they will just panic. They talk to the animatronics and scream. Survives two nights (yeyy!!!), but the third night they're so afraid that they close the door and run out of power.
6. QUAN YIZHEN: doesn't listen to Phone Guy's instructions, falls asleep and somehow survives night 1 and 2 like that. Third night is when he can't sleep because of the noise, fights the animatronics to shut them up and ends up getting killed by the Cupcake.
5. PEI MING: so, this may seem a weird placement, but pm is actually pretty competent in his job. Plus, he makes Chica uncomfortable so he only has to fight three animatronics. But by night 4 he becomes too confident in his surviving skills and forgets to check Foxy as much as he should and dies.
4. FENGQING: they would go together, because is fengqing and they're a dynamic duo. They yell all the time, but also work great together. They die at night 4 because they're in the middle of an argument, forget about the animatronics (it's not the first time this happens) and Golden Freddy kills them because he can't deal with them yelling / making out anymore.
3. MU QING: almost survives 5 nights, but after 4 days of this he gets a bit cocky and he's killed at 5.00 A.M by Golden Freddy.
2. XIE LIAN: ok, listen. Xl is about to die every night, but somehow survives at the last minute. The animatronics are pretty confused about this. He ends the week without problem, but when he goes for his paycheck he is bitten by one of the animatronics and spends the rest of his life paying the hospital debt and dealing with ptsd, which you could argue that is worse than death.
1. LING WEN: she's lw. Job with terrible hours, with lots of multitasking where they don't pay you enough to deal with this shit? That's her territory. Survives 5 nights + the extra night + custom night 20/20 mode.
HONORABLE MENTIONS for characters that didn't make it to the ranking because they're just like that:
-HUA CHENG: he's not trapped with the animatronics, the animatronics are trapped with him. This bitch would survive the first night and come back the next day with a bat made of steel and break every animatronic. Then burns the place down. If this is after xl gets bitten, the animatronics don't survive even a day.
-HUALIAN: they fuck in the security office. The animatronics are uncomfortable and don't approach them.
-SHI WUDU: works one night, then sues the company. He's now the owner of Fazbear Enterteiment. And maybe William's next victim.
-YUSHI HUAN & PEI SU: spent one night there, don't come back because it's not worth it.
-YIN YU: is Phone Guy. He dies at night 4 but special mention anyway because Phone Guy.
-JUN WU: would be the fucking killer. Gets springlocked and makes it everyone's problem.
RANKING SVSSS
RANKING MDZS
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AFTER WORKING ON THIS FOR ALMOST A WHOLE WEEK, I HAVE FINALLY FINISHED!!!!
I know I have written a lot, so do not feel obligated to read it all, but if you want to glance through just to see what classes + subclasses I have assigned, please feel free!! Here is a taste of what you will see below the cut:
BEYOND THIS POINT, THERE WILL BE HUGE SPOILERS. READING THE MANHUA OR WATCHING THE DONGHUA WILL NOT BE ENOUGH. THIS WILL HAVE MASSIVE SPOILERS FOR MULTIPLE MAJOR VILLAINS AND SECRET TWISTS. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
This has been a huge labor of love, and I am really not expecting anybody but me and maybe one or two others to have any interest in this, so if you have read them all or even half, thank you so much!!! My intimate knowledge of every single 5e subclass finally has a use, yay!!!
If you wanna talk D&D or TGCF ever, feel free to message me. If you have differing ideas of what classes these people would be, I'm happy to talk about that!!!
Also most of all, thank you @liese1015 for inspiring me to get off my ass and participate in the fandom I love for once! 💖
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