#Yknow what’s worse than having the love of your life move on from you?

[sincerelyourswhistledown]

OKAY POLIN STANS THINK ABOUT THIS.

AU where Colin never realises he loves Penelope and just keeps on travelling. Penelope eventually tries to move on and gets in a relationship with Benedict. They eventually get engaged. The wedding happens, Benedict and Penelope are officially married.

Then the reception happens, instead of a Father-Daughter dance they decided on Penelope dancing with the Bridgerton brothers since they were the closest positive male figures in her life. The order goes from Gregory, Anthony, Colin and then to the groom.

Now what’s the song? WHAT’S THE MFING SONG THE BRIDGERTONS BROTHERS ARE DANCING WITH PENELOPE? WELL IT’S ONLY JON MCLAUGHLIN ‘SO CLOSE’.

(Chosen because Penelope and Benedict unanimously decided that if their story was a Disney story then it would be ‘Enchanted’.)

Fast forward to Colin’s turn of the dance, as they dance Colin starts to slowly realise why he was dreading the wedding. As he gazes into Penelope’s glowing face, takes into detail the twinkle in her eyes and the flush in her cheeks, he starts to understand why the news of their engagement felt like a hard blow to his stomach. In a span of a minute memories of her laughter, her smile, her everything, Penelope, Penelope, Pen, floods in his mind. It was as if the goddess Aphrodite had decided to dump all of these feelings of affection, of devotion, of love into one sweeping moment, leaving Colin breathless and in absolute awe.

Under the light, Penelope absolutely glows and Colin finally realises he is in love.

They dance and the music goes up and up and Colin feels like he’s dancing on cloud 9. With Penelope in his arms it was as if he could do anything and for the first time in Colin’s life he lets out a genuine laugh. His heart grows even more as Penelope returns his laughter with her own, twirling and swaying in his arms.

And then the final verse comes, another hand appears for Penelope and she takes it. Just like that Colin’s heart drops and breaks into millions of pieces as he remembers that Penelope was not his. It was not him she’d married, it had been his brother.

‘Oh, how could I face the faceless days

If I should lose you now

We’re so close

To reaching that famous happy ending

Almost believing this one’s not pretend

Let’s go on dreaming though we know we are

So close, so close, and still so far’

How one song could bring two people so much happiness yet bring grief to another, Colin will never know. In the end, it’s Anthony who quietly leads his younger broken brother away from the dance floor. One broken heart is enough for tonight, he did not want to make it three.

[orphicdreamers-wp]

Girl Of My Dreams — Mat Barzal

Summary: In which Mat Barzal inadvertently falls for the oldest Hughes sibling and her brothers aren’t happy.

Content Warning; Taylor swift 1989 isn’t by Tay(its by reader) Mentions of University of Alabama (reader went there) Trevor Zegras being hopelessly in love with reader. Readers social media face claim is Addison Rae bc idc she’d clear as a WAG for a athlete.

Pairing: Mat Barzal x Hughes! Reader.

Mat would be lying if he said he didn’t sneak glances at the announcers box after meeting you. You had been carrying a plate of food and two margaritas to your booth where your friends sat. Tito had made a joke about you seeming familiar then the pair heard your voice and knew, “Alright now, eat up because y’all are bumming me out.” Mat’s jaw slacked, “He’d known that the Islanders had gotten a new game announcer who was a girl but he wouldn’t have known it was you. You were effortlessly stunning, you had captivated the attention of every straight man in the bar. Mat had approached you as you sat at the bar, “I’m Mat, can I buy you a drink?”

You grinned and spoke, southern accent slipping out, “I’m Y/N, I mean Barzy after the way you played last game? You better buy me a drink. ‘Yknow how many hate comments my broadcast got?” Mat grinned as the bartender approached you, “Another Corona Light and whatever she’s having on me.” You grinned sheepishly, “I’m fucking with you. I’ve heard worse.” Mat grinned, “So now would probably be a shitty time to ask you out?” You smiled at him, “Maybe not.” Mat smiled, “If I may, your not from New York are you? Where are you from?” You grinned, “I grew up in Toronto with my 3 younger brothers and moved to Alabama for college and been in New York for a few months now.” Mat grinned, “Well welcome to New York beautiful.” That was a year and a half ago. You still hadn’t told your brothers who your boyfriend was, just that his name was Mathew. Until your album release came creeping in and you wanted to go public with Mat.

Instagram

ynhughes; my album ‘1997’ is now streaming! thank you for all your support(especially the bf, ‘slut’ and ‘suburban legends’ are 4 us)

barzal97: celebrating you is my favorite pastime. i have never met someone who people gravitate towards more than you. you are by far the most wonderfully amazing woman i know. it is a privilege to say i love you🤎 this past year or so has changed my life. you make living easy and so so much better. i can’t wait to see what the future has in store for you.

trevorzegras: alexa play that should be me💔💔

ynhughes: forever in awe of you mathew barzal. amazed a gal like me is lucky enough to be adored by you🤎

oliviarodrigo; THEY HIT THE PENTAGON!! @conangray

>conangray; told you it was them i saw at radio music hall!

ny_islanders; our roman empire is all the sweet posts for to y/n today🥹🥹

sydneyemartin: brb crying. the purest people in the world. so grateful my girls get to grow up seeing a love this pure that isn’t their parents.

>ynhughes: we adore your girls more than words can express.

_quinnhughes: my biggest inspiration is out here killing it. in awe of you everyday sissy🥹 thank you for being my best friend from day 1

ynhughes: in a puddle of tears quinny. thank you for always being on my side, even when im wrong.

sabrinacarpenter; hockey players making me ugly sob wasn’t on my 2023 bingo card

elhughes; my first babies🥹 extremely emotional over you all today

>_quinnhughes: we love you momma💕

jackhughes: 1997 reasons to love my meanie head sister, i guess her bf’s alright

ynhughes: i love you little brat, come visit me and mat!!

>jackhughes: will do, sissy🫡

trevorzegras: i can’t believe she won’t date me 😞😞

>ynhughes: buck up z, your way too young for me. perfect age for @sabrinacarpenter tho!

lukehughes: the worlds best big sister came out with the best album to date

ynhughes; really feeling the hughes love train today, i need to plan for all of us to be together soon! so y’all can meet Mat!

etnow; this just in; the Hughes brothers have brought tears to my eyes supporting their sister

barzal97: the third picture is actually the most accurate representation of your sister now

>lukehughes; always messing with those darn cats! even if they are on the side of the street.

[orphic-musings]

Hi !!!! 💓🥹 I absolutely love your Genshin fics. Especially the one with Zhongli and the adeptus reader!!! <3 I was wondering if you’d consider writing a Morax x Khaneri’ah reader ??? Or even a Morax x God/Goddess reader ???

Have a lovely day/night. Take care ~

Resurrection

Characters: Zhongli x gn! reader

Genre: Fluff, hurt/comfort

Warnings: None really :-)

Summary: You are one of the remaining Khaenri’ahns, cursed to wander the world forevermore. With no home, no identity. How can joy ever return to such a bleak existence?

Notes: Ooooooohhhh I loved this request! And thank you so much for reading my fics I’m so so glad you enjoyed them! I really hope this meets your expectations, I had fun writing this hehe. I almost made it angst but I thought yknow Zhongli needs some love. you need some love. we all need love. 🫶

You can no longer feel the wind on your face. The ever-changing skies look all the same to you, and days are a blur. As one of the sole remnants of Khaenri’ah, you are cursed with immortality. You feel more like a shadow than a person, as you drift from place to place, always going in circles. No home, no place to welcome you, no one to welcome you. It truly is a curse.

Or so you used to think.

The water softly lapped at the Liyue docks, shimmering with the glow from laterns. It was a warm evening, and the city was still very much awake. Storytellers could be heard, along with chatter and din from restaurants and merchant stands. Morax couldn’t help the smile forming. Even after all the years he’s lived, he still finds joy in seeing his nation prosper, even if it isn’t really his nation anymore. The peace and life that he fought so hard for now being enjoyed by countless people, tourists and locals alike. And he has all eternity, lest erosion take him, to revel in its tranquility.

As a god, and as a man, he enjoys the simple things in life. Things that make him look forward to each day, like mundane conversations with interesting wanderers, or a new blend of tea. Or, in this particular moment, both.

“Do you travel often, Mr. Zhongli?” You blow on the hot tea, pausing another moment for good measure, before carefully sipping.

“I’m afraid not. This land is… sentimental to me. From the harbour to the jagged mountains, I could not bear to be separated with Liyue for long.” He replies, taking a sip of his own tea. It’s a delightful blend, the light jasmine subtle, but just floral enough to give an exquisite aftertaste, and bittersweet enough to go for another sip.

“I understand, it’s hard to be away from home.”

“Do feel homesick often?”

“I do. Or I used to.” In truth, you don’t even remember what you’re homesick for. Or why you should miss it. It feels so long, that nowhere is your home, that you don’t even know how to miss home.

“You’re very interesting. I enjoy talking with you. You have an undeniable sense of knowledge and wisdom, and I would love to speak more with you.”

And so you did. Evening walks became frequent, then a habit. And soon your days were spent with him too. Part of you wanted to move on, it felt wrong to linger, like you were breaking some unspoken rule. You needed to wander, to drift in the shadows. But you didn’t want to, you didn’t need to. The though of parting with Zhongli felt even worse than staying, like you could not bear to separate with him. Like he was home.

»»————-　♡　-————««

It was a cloudy night when you first kissed. On a mountain just near the harbour, overlooking the splotched lights through the haze. The air was sweent with Qingxin, and it was cool and fresh. His lips tasted like bitter tea and sweet wine.

“In all my life I have never felt like this. I thought I had found contentness, serenity. But I did not realize all the passion and warmth I was missing. Please, indulge me more.” You were hesitant. You were immortal, and you knew this love could not last. But the fondness, the pure light in his eyes made you accept. As if to lose this love would be to lose everything all over again.


“I’ll be yours so long as you’ll have me.” You whisper, your face close to his. His arms are a security you’ve never allowed yourself to settle in, a comfort you didn’t realize you were devoid of.

“Eternity then, my dear.” And with the steel of his voice, you believe him.

»»————-　♡　-————««

Time passes that you are aware of, and each day you look forward to simply existing with your lover. Time passes and the bond between you is stronger than anything, maybe even your curse. And despite the rumours about Zhongli, and despite his sometimes too specific questions, neither of you have disclosed your identities. But time passes, and neither of you age. You are the same as the day he met you, though he swears more spirited and radiant than ever. He is the same as the day you met him, his eyes still glow, but burn even brighter.

“It’s time I discuss something with you.” He declares as he brings the fresh pot of tea to the coffee table in front of you. Fear washes over you, and you momentarily feel the urge to wander, to be a shadow, to run away. But you are not a ghost anymore, you’ve learned how to love and be loved, how to be real. So you force your eyes to meet his. And you see your fear reflected.

“I am sorry to have kept this from you so long my dear, but I had doubts and fears that you have since washed away. I am, or was, the Geo Archon, Rex Lapis, or Morax if you prefer. But I am at the same time Zhongli, just as I always have been.” Your breath was held, and it still held until you manage to process his words. His calm face betrays the gnarling sensation in his gut. Suddenly he is at war again, but he is not confident in victory. And even worse, he is afraid to lose.

He desperately tries to find any sign of hope as he looks at you, only to be let down. His heart shatters, falling apart piece by piece. Like a stone crumbled beneath the piercing of his spear. But your face softens as you think over what he says, as you understand, as you realize.

“I know that you are mortal, and that one day-“ He begins, voice strained.

“You couldn’t have made me happier, than with the words you just said.” You reply, so consumed with joy that his anxious rambling flies over your head. “I have a secret too. Not anything proud like yours, but in this moment that doesn’t matter. I am immortal too, one of the cursed remnants from Khaenri’ah. But despite your godhood, and despite my past, it feelings like a blessing.” Your voice is light, your body is light. You feel like you’re floating, though your eyes water and your heart wrenches, a bliss spreads through you.

“I love you.” His arms hold you tightly, tight like a vow. His words calm you, and you relax in his touch. Through all the wars he fought, all the destruction he wrought, he wonders how it could have led to such a wonderful thing. How sins and a curse could be a blessing. But he merely smiles to himself as he thinks, it must be the power of love.

Jaded the two of you may be, but fools in love also. And you remember what it’s like to have a home. You remember what’s it’s like to live in the light, and to be seen. And it’s more wonderful than anything you’ve experienced. All the grief and despair you lived through, only now to have a promise of love for eternity. Just as there is always a sun to chase away the night, there is always joy and love to overcome hard times.

“I love you too Morax. I love you.”

[pey-up]

Tell me about your OCs!!!

YIPPEEEEEEEEE

youre all going to regret this.

This is gonna be long so RANT UNDER CUT-

Okokok so i have multiple stories but ill spare yall and just give you the main one (or ig the most fleshed out one?)

It follows a teen girl Elora, who's a silly gal and by silly i mean autistic and would bite someone if pressed. She reallyyy likes big words, like you know those hyperspesfic words that describe super specific moments or feelings? She loves those. Being super specific is her Jam. Anyways, she's friends with two kids Edgar (has bit someone and would bite again) and Paige (would never bite someone. Allows affectionate biting.)

Theyre not vampires theyre just weird/aff

Elora's mom is named Bellaire, she's a single mom who works one job, loves her kid and never stops, we love Belle. Where is eloras dad you may be asking!? Doesnt exist. Pokemon style. (I have never played pokemon but ive seen enough delia x jesse art to know). I kinda leave the second parent up for interpretation because its fun to see what ppl come up with :3 (kinda like mrs. Afton? Literally built out of headcanons and dreams) Bellaire is a health IT worker and she loves it! It's why she moved to Pennsylvania in the first place! She kinda moved around a bit as a kid from france to italy to north carolina so good for her for staying put :3

Uh- okay so one thing about my stories is i do not care if its realistic for a Korean woman in 1987 to be working IT. The world in my stories is nicer. Doesnt mean bad stuff doesnt exist! It just means im going to pretend it can happen because she deserves for it to happen >:[

Belle and Elora are real close since theyre kinda the only family each other have, El has a tricky time expressing emotions and affection, whereas Belle is reallt outwordly affectionate so some miscommunication happens there :( boy itd be a shame if Someone were to not make it to the end of the story and theyd be unable to communicate properly (<- its not written yet.. i will be killing at least someone off though...)

Edgar and El have that "never met one of my parents" swag, Edgar in the form of my dad sucks (im not projecting youre projecting. What.) And his momma died when he was real young. His mom and Bellaire were reallll... close.

They were gay.

But yknow, she died so Ed's dad took over and cut belle out of edgars life, so poor baby ed has zero support systemUntil he meets elora on a rainy day when hes much older, about 12 or 13 id say?

Paige is significantly less traumatized, but she has the "i need to be suuper happy and a support system for everyone else because they obviously have it worse than i do" disorder :(

THERE IS A PLOT TO THIS I SWEAR!!! SORRY ITS KINDA WORD VOMIT RN-

Its more put together when i write it i swear (two chapters r in my pinned post, ill write more when school starts and i get settled in my creative writing class again :3 gimmie a week or so hehe)

Heres some doodles i did of them! The placeholder title is currently Aberrant so its tagged under that (and then specific characters of their names, Elora Carpenter, Paige Madden, Edgar, etc)

Thanks very very much for the ask!!!!!

[squarebracketsmileyface]

Another song for My Girl, My Girl, My Girl

Honestly a lot of Half.Alive songs fit really well with Sorry, It's Locked in general. Like, I have one for Birdie and Tim in Crossroads and I have this one for My Girl. I don't know what it is about their songs, but they're just so perfect for this series, especially the quieter moments, you know? They're the exact kind of nostalgic/happy-sad vibes I want a lot of the quiet moments to have, i think.

Honestly, now that I'm really thinking about it, this song feels like it fits kinda the whole series, a little bit.

I never told You never asked 'Til I got older I kept it wrapped You had me holding up my past I came to know it's what I want so bad

For My Girl i think this just feels like if Jay had actually realised he was trans, like, got a lot further down that line than he actually will. It's like him realising how much he hid and now that Tim's pointed things out to him, he can look back on his life and kinda notice all the moments from when he was younger that were evidence of him being trans, even if at the time and for a long while after he didn't think twice about them.

And Tim did sort of ask Jay if he was trans, but the second Jay denied it he backed down and let it go. Sort of. He still sets up their forced fem and general fem sex stuff in a way that he hopes will make Jay feel more comfortable actually exploring his gender. But as far as Jay's concerned, or would be concerned if he lived long enough to figure it out, Tim never asked so Jay didn't tell him he was trans until way later on. As in, had Jay lived it would have taken him close to 5-10 years before he told Tim he was trans.

He would figure it out eventually, though. He'd take a while, but eventually he'd realise that what he wanted was actually to be she and her and Lark.

You know I wanna live to fast And die too young It ain't that bad Just don't look up I found my path is that enough?

This is kind of Jay's attitude to everything in my head. Like, i don't know it just is. He definitely lives too fast, and he's going to die too young. He downplays things a lot (though, he also makes other things out to be worse than they are? He's a bit all over the place) like, I'm pretty sure he actually says the words "It wasn't that bad" or "It's not that bad" in S,IL itself at some point, when he's talking to Tim about Alex.

He's pretty sure he's not going to live very long though. That's his path, he doesn't want it to happen, he wants to survive this whole thing with Tim and go on with their lives after, but he's not fully convinced they'll get that. It's mostly just a nice thought for him.

Well I was getting used to what I thought was love It made me laugh I came undone 'Cause all I had Was not enough

Jay's understanding of If It Ain't Broken and everything that happened in that. Like, yeah yeah he knew Alex wasn't in love with him, but he did get used to their relationship and how it was, and that became what he thought all/most relationships would be in his life. And everything he had to give Alex 'wasn't enough' to make Alex love him back (or so he thought), and that did make him come undone a little bit, yknow? It fucked him up really bad, not just in the "oh poor guy he's so hurt and upset by it" way, but also in the "Oh he doesn't really understand boundaries and really needs to work on his ability to communicate what he wants properly" way.

I want you to move me I want you to move me Step into the moonlight Throw your weight in to me

Okay, so, this bit's like, lyrically it fits very well with Jay's inability to ask for what he wants and him just wanting Tim to do whatever so Jay doesn't have to deal with the embarrassment of telling Tim what he wants and why he wants it. He just wants Tim to make him do it.

On the other hand, this song is so very gently upbeat that something as serious as that feels inappropriate to connect to it. The mention of moonlight reminds me of the fic White Noise which is to be uploaded after this next chapter of My Girl. Jay and Tim go stargazing together and end up leaning against each other as they sit on the roof of one of their cars. They do this for Jay's birthday, and the gesture is incredibly moving to Jay, as it is a celebration of him still being alive that he had previously (in chapter three) assured Tim was not necessary.

I want your storms Shaking the trees I want your waves Breaking on me I want your knife To cut the seams When all the feelings Tie me up to be

This verse clearly would be a reference to Jay and Alex's past relationship, both in university and two years prior to My Girl, when they had sex for the first and last time since university. This works for both of those relationships, as both were hectic and turbulent and harmful to all involved. Storms that shake the trees often rend branches from their home trunks and can leave people with devastating injuries as well as a fear of storms that they never before held. Storm waves can do the same, dashing people upon rocks and causing clifftops to slump or crumble, dragging any hapless victims who may had been standing there to their deaths.

Knives do not typically come with storms, however often within Sorry, It's Locked Jay would make references and allusions to heartbreak by speaking about Alex holding his heart in his hands after having carved it from his chest with a knife. Alex was always insinuated to be careless with Jay's heart not only for having carved it from his chest (a bloody, gruesome and deadly action to take) but also because once he had Jay's heart in his hands he would continue to use the knife upon it. This was meant as a comment on how even after Jay had given Alex everything he had, even going so far as to allow him to claim Jay's heart as his own without giving anything in return, Alex still continued to cause harm to Jay simply because he wanted to. He had nothing more to gain from the damage he caused, he simply wanted to do it, so he did.

You know I wanna live to fast And die too young It ain't that bad Just don't look up I found my path is that enough? Well I was getting used to what I thought was love It made me laugh I came undone 'Cause all I had Was not enough

After the previous verse, the chorus takes on a new meaning, talking more about how Jay would have allowed Alex to destroy him in his entirety simply because he thought he loved him, despite how Alex hurt him and the knowledge that Alex would never love him back. He convinces himself that what is happening between them isn't 'that bad' and convinces himself that there is nothing better for him to look up and try to find. He is content to continue down this path of destruction at Alex's hands.

mutual destruction dude? Alex wasn't the only one at fault?? like, at all? he was just as hurt by their uni relationship as Jay was, probably more honestly.

My apologies.

I want you to move me I want you to move me Step into the moonlight Throw your weight in to me

Once again, the chorus takes on a new meaning when thought about in the context of Jay and Alex's university relationship. Jay and Alex's university relationship was built around mutually agreed upon power dynamics and dominance and submission, often with Alex physically moving Jay around as he pleased or 'throwing his weight into him' in order to hold him down. This was, of course, all at least mostly agreed upon by the two of them (although my understanding is that they should have spoken about it far more and far more freely than they did, as miscommunication between them did lead to situations with dubiously consensual elements)

Be my chain Where I stand Want to be my song When I can't dance Light my fire And burn the trees No, I won't get tired When I can't breathe

Okay. SO. one just generally i really like this line, like, yeah idk i just do. But like, i think it just works so well for both Jam and Jaylex, yknow? like, idk it's like all those ocean metaphores i use for Jay's relationships, with Alex being a stormy ocean that's dangerous and getting subby with him was like drowning whereas Tim was a calm, peaceful ocean and getting subby with him is like floating in a calm, warm sea.

"Be my chain where i stand" can either be "hey, you're tethering me to earth and making me feel more real and secure and safe because I can't just float away and suffocate in the vastness of space." OR it can be "You're fucking trapping me let me go, these chains are hurting me and i long for freedom. My wrists and ankles are raw from the shackles, just let me go." That last one can both be how Jay felt about Alex and that relationship back in uni, OR it can more specifically be Jay about how he can't ever seem to quite get over Alex and how his continued like, love for him is causing him pain because he knows the relationship was bad for him and he knows Alex will never love him back. well he thinks Alex will never love him back. He is wrong about that one tho lol

"Want to be my song when i can't dance" can also be both Jam and Jaylex. Like, chapter 2 of S,IL, duh, all those songs on the radio that just felt like they were making fun of Jay because of how fucked up his relationship with Alex was, and because he was daydreaming about getting to dance around the kitchen with Alex and wondering if Amy did that with him, knowing that he wasn't going to get that cute domestic stuff with Alex no matter how badly he wanted it. OR. it can be jam. it can be Jam inn chapter three of My Girl, because they are going to get to dance to the radio together like Jaylex never did and it's gonna be wonderful.

Also "When i can't dance i want you to move me" does fall a bit back to the whole Jay cant ask for what he wants thing, but I think it's probably in a softer way, yknow? Like, feeling awkward or lost in Tim's kitchen because he never got anything like this with Alex so he doesn't really know what he's doing. He's not good at romance even though he craves it, so he needs Tim to teach him the steps (both the steps to the dance and the steps to take to make their relationship work and be healthy)

"Light my fire And burn the trees No, I won't get tired When I can't breathe" again this just feels like the whole "ocean metaphores for both relationships but in different ways" thing. Alex was a distructive fire that made it hard to breath and Jay was so exhilarated by it that the adrenaline stopped him getting tired of it, even when it hurt him. Tim is like a campfire, all warm and glowing and you roast marshmallows on it with your loved ones, sure the heat still makes it hard to breath when you're close enough to it so you can roast your marshmallows (??? I think I'm using marshmallows as a metaphore for them having sex???) but it's not an all encompasing forest fire, there's more to this fire than just using the heat to roast marshmallows. You can just sit by it and swap stories, you can use it to warm up and recharge after a long, tiring day. Jay can never get tired of this fire, not because the adrenaline is keeping him awake, just because who could get tired of a campfire? they're so lovely.

I want you to move me Be my chain Where I stand Want to be my song When I can't dance I want you to move me Light my fire And burn the trees No, I won't get tired When I can't breathe Step into the moonlight Be my chain Where I stand Want to be my song When I can't dance Throw your weight in to me Light my fire And burn the trees No, I won't get tired When I can't breathe

Same

Be my chain Where I stand Would you be my song When I can't dance Light my fire And burn the trees No, I won't get tired When I can't breathe

Same

[cupidthewriter]

Confessions Pt. 1

I want to post something so for now, have this bit of pre-confession Sage and Gloxinia cuteness. This story will cover the "when her family started trying to get her to marry someone Gloxinia finally made a damn move and she left the human world for good."

“You’ve been off all day. Please tell me what's troubling you… I don’t like seeing you upset.” Gloxinia never moved, as if waiting for her to reciprocate and meet him halfway. She could tell he wanted her to. He always preferred to be close. 

Sage sighed, relenting and laying her head against his chest. “My family wants me to get married.” 

“Married?” Gloxinia tilted his head, ears twitching a bit as if confused. “What’s… marry-ing?” 

“Marriage is when two people decide they’ll be together forever by law, and they’ll be with no one else. Usually they have babies and the wife has to take care of them.”

“Oh… marriage, huh.” he seemed to be turning the term over in his mind, thinking on it more. He tensed, “They want you to marry someone? Someone from your village? But you…” the words caught in his throat, “Well, that's a life-long decision. You’re… you’re far too young!”   

Sage hummed in confirmation, not noticing his panicked expression and downturned ears. “Twenty four isn’t that young for humans to marry. My parents think it’ll straighten me out.” She looked in her lap, feeling selfish for taking refuge in his arms. “I don’t know, I think they’re hoping if they try hard enough to pretend I’m normal, I’ll be normal.” 

“You are normal,” she felt him nuzzle the top of her head, sounding frustrated on her behalf. She wondered if he’d hold her this close if he knew what this kind of contact meant for humans. 

“And even if you weren’t…” he laid his head atop hers, and she thought her heart might combust. “They should love you anyway… you’re wonderful.” 

Time passed and it was soon morning, the first rays of the sun shining in her eyes and pulling her from her dreams. Gloxinia was still asleep, looking painfully beautiful as he always did. His hair seemed to glow in the early golden rays.

It shone through his wings like stained glass, decorating them both with a kaleidoscope of dancing colors. Somehow the rays felt warmer than normal sunlight. If time allowed, Sage could’ve stared at him for hours, but felt she wasn’t owed that luxury. She’d taken advantage of his kindness enough already. 

So, instead of staring at the Fairy King, she closed her eyes and curled up against him. Gloxinia always seemed a bit offended when she moved away, and… he was admittedly very comfortable to sleep on. She tried to memorize the feeling, knowing she may never be able to rest in his arms again. 

Later, when he finally woke, Sage was still feigning sleep. He must have moved, because the lovely colors she could still see through her eyelids shifted and disappeared. She felt him kiss her forehead, and her heart burned terribly.

She wanted nothing more than to hold him there, to keep him close, steal him away and bring him home. He was so perfect she wanted to cry, but no matter how much she wanted these things, actually doing them would make her as selfish as they come. 

Sage had twisted his kindness into something else— something she wasn’t sure if he understood, and couldn’t decide which option made her feel worse. Was it better for him to know and lead her on or to be blissfully unaware of the implications of his actions? And whether or not he understood, who was she to pull a king from his kingdom? 

Soon she had to pretend to wake up, and plan for the dreaded conversation ahead. When she opened her eyes however, there was no one around. 

“What? Where did he go?”

Masterlist here where you can find descriptions of sage and allll that good stuff.

I'll probably post part two... or just repost it and add more and more lol. I just really wanted to post SOMETHING, yknow? <3

pls reblog, its what makes tumblr go round

[petorahs]

☀️ its fascinating that you say P3 has shaped your worldview because... Well not to trauma dump here but back then when I discovered the game (it was back then when p4 was already out) i was... In a REALLY bad place and wondering about unaliving myself. I wont go into much detail but kids are trash man and teens are even worse. and then this game came around. With an aesthetic I really liked. i am not a native english speaker so it was hard for me at first but somehow this game just... /spoke to me/. A game about life and death and what it means to be alive and what it means to have a REASON to live, somehow... Convinced me to go a bit longer. I mean it when I say this: Persona 3 saved my life. And no other game can ever come close to such an experience. (Even tho from a quality standpoint P5 certainly is up there)

oh dude that is so valid thank you for sharing this. seriously though, im happy that youre here! and im sure many others are too! the ☀️ brightening lives and all that :]

yea i can see why p3 just clicked with so many people since it first came out. i was always curious on why it's so beloved by fans, when p5 and even p4 are literally right there with their overall better gameplay experiences. p5 literally got the franchise mainstream to insane heights lol. im... so glad i got into persona the way i did. of course, everyone's experiences w these games are different and special to them in their own way.

i got into persona 3 as an adult and as a result the lens in which i viewed the story's themes were heightened, in a way. as a teen i just know i would have reacted more volatilely i struggle to think about it LOL but both experiences would still be pretty intense. it's just that, as an adult there's more room to digest it when im not troubled by algebra hw. i was just more equipped for it (also i played omori two summers ago LMAOO). ofc i only turned 20 a few weeks ago LOL but i get why p3 means so much to people.

because it's like... 2000s nostalgia coupled with a game that figuratively holds your hand through the uncertainty of death yknow? p3 is a friend, basically. its entire thesis is based upon companionship (exactly what i highlight in an analysis i have drafted somewhere but HHH i dont want this to get too long lmao)

in the shaping my worldviews thing... its really more like it cemented my 'philosophies' :] like i said, equipped with the stuff i learned before, p3 having the message that it did just... hit super close to home! like yeah! that's what i've been saying dude!! kindness really is enough!!

"You don't have to save the world to find meaning in life... Sometimes all you need is something simple, like someone to take care of."

LIKE YEA GIRL THATS EXACTLY IT!! its so cool! i actually admire people who grew up with p3 because man if i heard this line ages ago... well, again, idk if i would be able to grasp it fully at the time... but still! this is so good, poetry in motion. and like u said its aesthetics are gorgeous and aim to capture the essence of its themes - and it did.

im a p5 baby like bro i love p5. soft spot for it. thats the closest persona game i "grew up" with and it came at such an opportune time for me, being a teen stuck between a rock and a hard place. typical. and p5 validated my teenage angst bs so much. its so refreshing to see a game's theme being rebellion. that was me i thought. those characters are going through something that similarly happened to me. teenage rebellion is such a fun thing to explore!

so p5 validated my struggles while p3 did something deeper than that, somehow. i think it just made me .. stronger? like it made me move on from struggles. "by remembering death you learn how to live" so... i guess p3 taught me how to live as crazy as that sounds. but you get me

persona 5 overall is great -- everyone agrees, like its objectively just a better game. but persona 3 ends up more beloved because of its subjective value as a piece of art. there's a lot of heart and soul to put into it.

it's more simple when compared to p5 at first glance, but simple doesn't mean less. which is why more people experiencing it will be nice to see

[femmefaggot]

com update: shits gonna go down man idk it was a downtime session shit DIDNT happen. idr if I did this already forgive me if I did. you're getting it again. i love com.

i talked w seth abt how it wasn't his fault we killed eva

other ppl did things but I wasn't there. yan told daisy her husband died and he took her out of the town afaik everyone is leaving.

we had a picnic in neverland w pretty much everyone including roxie + mia (she and seth(😬) did the cooking) we all sat on fun themed chairs (i got a big flower)

we did downtime moves, most of us healed our secret pains tm tm tm and yan prepped for the next mission

more than this happened but basically I talked w seth abt if we'd be friends after everything was done. and he asked what I meant and I was. like.

well I kind of hope we don't have to do this forever. i hope life isn't always this goddamn hard yknow. do u think we will be friends when I'm not like... useful and he said yes and that I am not a tool.

other conversation happened. where he mentioned teaching me parkour and us all doing it together in a group and I was like haha yeah sure a group (:

we got back 2 Calvin who avoided us for a few weeks and then that avoidance became genuine business. someone (rival gang? from context clues) killed one of his (likely teenager) gang members

he got all mad n told us if we wanted 2 make up for killing eva we would kill these people

I started a whole thing like. why are you punishing us like we are five year olds who just wrote on your wall in crayon. why do you want us to kill people when you're so mad that we killed eva Even After seeing likely upwards of dozens of people's worth of bones because she Ate Them. why are you avoiding us like YOURE the petulant child you're meant to be a king grow up.

semi sarcastically apologized for killing her like sorry we did that but can we all be fucking adults here.

he ended it by being like I accept your apology (I took it as a win (: that means he couldn't argue w me anymore. even if it was just inno wanting to wrap things up) and seth in the Boldest move I've seen him make was like we Weren't apologizing and then denounced him as king 🥰 I followed bc thats my only (non fae) (hi again tink) friend

next session is starting up the End. we are more likely to die "or worse" so yayyyy

[vaelynez]

Hello! I’m so sorry for the sudden message, but I really wanted to reach out and thank you for writing and sharing BHLD, even if its an older fic

After a long night of no sleeping, I suddenly remembered the first digimon fic i read around four years ago. For some reason, I vaguely remembered the title enough to find it on ff.net. To my delight, I realized the story had been updated and finished. I knew I had to read the whole story then, and wow it was a ride.

As someone who suffers from a bunch of mental health issues, the story was an endearing tragedy from start to finish. I loved how you handled Takeru and Yamato by giving them flaws outside of their struggles and portrayed the slow growth in their relationship.

I just-I’m thankful I was able to revisit this fic after a couple of years and appreciate the progress I’ve made with my mental health. I was in a repressed, worse spot with my depression and the fic always stuck with me as a way to say that the emotions i had weren’t “okay” and that i truely wanted to be better (ironically Yamato’s story in adventure helped me realize i had depression).

I’m sorry for dumping this all on you after you wrapped up the fic years ago, but I wanted to let you know that your story made a great impact on someone and helped them <3 please keep writing as you have talent and an amazing handle on emotions.

Thank you again - Anon

Hi omg. This made my life you have no idea.

BHLD is kinda infamous in my head because it was a train wreck to write. I’ve got a love hate relationship with it. I started it when I was, shit 13? and in seventh grade. For context I’m in my second year of college and 19 at the end of September.

Kinda long post incoming.

That being said, the first variation wasn’t good (because I was 13). I’d actually go as far to say it was objectively bad writing, just on a craft level. But again, literal baby writer it was my second fic ever. When I revamped it, it was miles better. Looking back, I think I was 15 when I started the revamp? It ended when I was 16. Could it be better? Yes, but it could always be better.

HOWEVER, that’s just my overcritical writer brain getting hung up on the typos and passive voice and filter words. What actually matters is that there was improvement in between the two versions, and improvement to my writing now. What matters is I finished it.

Until this July, it was my only completed multi-chapter fic. Sure it took me years but it was done, that’s more than I can say for countless WIPS on my computer, (glares back at my past few posts about my recent projects…update on that coming soon) or that one fic collecting dust on my AO3 account.

On a more personal note, this fic also followed me through some rough times. A lot of the themes I write about reflect what I’m dealing with at the time. It’s both how I cope and how I hope to reach someone dealing with something similar.

I initially started it because I was struggling with my own mental health issues, which influenced the story greatly. It followed me through my recovery with self harm. I was either struggling or just getting out of an eating disorder when I finished it. I moved and switched schools three times. 13-16 is not a fun age to be for anyone. It sucks. I think I finished it my Sophomore/Junior year, which might have been one of the lowest points ever.

I look back at the open ending of the fic and remember that, besides the overarching theme reasons, I genuinely didn’t know how to write things getting better, recovery.

Which brings me to what hit me hardest about your message, I’m just glad my writing made a positive impact on you. Genuinely, it’s my ultimate dream with anything I create, I can help someone. It’s how I build the very foundation of my stories, what message do I want to send? (Aka theme, but yknow, lets be sentimental for a moment).

I’m not changing lives with my Digimon fanficion, but I can impact them. And even if I put out the worst thing I’ve ever written, if it helped someone even just a little bit, who cares? Shit, if what I write can helps someone admit they’re not okay and want to get better—and it did????—that’s actually huge. That’s such a big thing to admit to yourself, and a huge step to take.

Hugs to you, and thank you for taking the time to send this in. I’m having a bit of a month and this really cheered me up. I’m genuinely going to carry it with me all the time. I recently took a break for (physical) health reasons and your message was a reminder of why I love storytelling and art so much. It was also a bittersweet trip down memory lane.

Thank you. I’m proud of how far you’ve come. I’m so thankful and honored that I could be a part of it, no matter how small of a role that was. 💕

[sleepyivoryrose]

so, now that i've got a little bit of fanboying out of my system...for the weather report the daily diary entry.

Well...maybe the weather report isn't so far off. It's over 30 degree Celsius over here. That's a lot for someone who tends to get psychosis through the heat (not enough drinking, too much staying indoors alone, high stress factors, yadda yadda yadda) so I'm trying my best off blocking out the sun and praying for the best. And I sure do hope it cools down, because I've been living for 3 days straight (or two...my memory keeps getting worse and worse) off potatoes with tuna, and slowly but surely I do miss a little bit of variety...I do have a few cans of chickpeas lying around, maybe I can boil them with the potatoes...

Other than that, I've been enjoying a lot of Alien Stage Fandom Postings around the block (or the internet, to be precise), even though I am way too shy to properly interact with them. It's always funny, after one hour of posting on the Alien Stage of Official Twitter, the fans go rabid in the comments. Honestly, if I had the guts they have, I would join in. But for now, observing has to suffice.

I want to create my own fanart and fanfics too, but fans go MAD when they see someone mischaractecized, and I'm not dealing with that. I can understand, they have a very exact image of how the characters have to be like, and maybe it's very nice to have an accurate canon depiction of the character you like, but...headcanons exist for a reason, yknow?

Maybe I'll do some for myself. Just to get the giddy out of my system.

My creative well is still as dry as the weather over here though. It's weird, not being creative the whole time and daydreaming about stuff. It's just...empty. So the next best thing I do, is looking at other peoples fansworks, as I said.

Last days I am throughruly interested in character design. Like, different races and stuff (orcs, elves, dwarves, you name it.) Dungeon Meshi inspired me a lot in that regard. I love seeing how the mangaka works, how she creates so many different looking characters out of a single race. It's amazing, really.

There's so many crazy creations on Deviantart. I found out I really like Ancient-Egypt-Core, and that mechanical shark tails are incredibly cool looking! (I could actually fuse both of those things together into a Mad Max looking scenario...!)

I also heard that Cara is supposed to be an awesome site who doesn't use the images for AI training at all...I don't worry too much about it (I wouldn't even call myself an artist, what I create are just sketches and doodles) because seriously, no one would get my art for AI training, but...I can understand. If you put so many hours of your life into something, you just dont want people taking it away from you without your clear consent.

(Warning, a bit of a disgusting topic coming up)

I am starting to get acne again, and I don't know why. This week...and the last I think? I didn't eat much sugar at all. Maybe it's the fatty food...? I have to cut back on that food too...but what the hell do I eat as someone who may have diabetes? No sugar (of course), no fat, no pasta, a little bit of fruit but not too much, no carbohydrates...I just can eat vegetables, and I don't really like them. They aren't exactly filling either, you need a little bit of protein and fiber to feel full after all...

Man...and if I start moving more, as planned (probably around September, or else I won't survive the summer) I do need at least a little bit of nutrition too...!

GAAAH.

You know what? Fuck this. I'm going to get myself some delicious, cool water, and then I'll kill time somehow. Washing the dishes in the kitchen is necessary...

Urk.

Well, no time like the present! Let's go....gooo....goooo (That's my echo as I speed into the distance)

[stellas-starry-sillies13]

hey emi, i understand how you feel, and i think closing yourself to them to an extent is the right thing to do. If those ‘friends’ always brush away your problems then they arent truly friends. Yeah, youre a weirdo, so what? Im a weirdo, and frankly, all my friends can be considered weird or weirdos too ig, just because youre a little weird doesnt lower your worth any less. Emi, all throughout our life, people will hate. It’s inevitable. We will face people who dont like us or are generally just mean and rude. But yknow you can either deicde to take it like this and they will get exactly what they want because thats what bullies do. They bully you because you know you care. They know how it will affect you. And i know its easier said than done, but dont let it bother you. I know it may sound impossible, but when people say bad things about you, you shouldnt accept it. If someone says something bad about you, say the opposite. Confess positive things over yourself, because taking in all these things others say about you is only gonna make things worse. Again, i know its easier said than done, but things are never gonna get better for you if you continue to take everything in and let everything get to your head. Emi, you are a creation of God, and nothing that god makes is ugly or worthless or useless. Even if the world seems to hate you, you should always love yourself, even if left and right you always hear oh im stupid, im worthless, i suck at this and that. They can say what they want, and im gonna be honest, you could be not the brightest or maybe others just generally dont like how you look,(im not saying you ARE, im saying even if you were) i dont know. But God made you, you are wonderfully and fearfully made, and I knows its not easy, but i wish you didnt absorb everything everyone says about you. Youre a wonderful person. Youre funny, kind, entertaining, a good writer, and probably lots more that i just dont know. But you wanna know why you feel all of this? Its because you care. A lot. And yeah it would probably affect me to a certain extent if i went through this as well. But God says that you are beautiful. You are wonderful. And okay, so no one in your school doesnt like anime or write fanfiction. Does that mean you cant or you shouldnt? If you like anime then you like anime. If they dont then they dont. You dont need to be like them because they dont like it. Be yourself, because thats how God made you. Oh wow, you write fanfiction, you like anime, maybe youre not top of your class and all that stuff. You arent perfect. You never will be. You make mistakes and you should eventually move on from those mistakes. You arent anyone but Emi. And you never will be. You are unique and different and if they cant see that then thats on them. It doesnt have to end like this. Know why? Because there is a God in heaven that created you and he loves you more than anyone. And if you let him, he’ll help you through this. You dont have to care about what others say.

Also, from what ive seen maybe idk i think you have a good relationship with your parents. Even if you dont, i think you should talk to them. If its this bad then ask them to move you to a different school or homeschool you. This is really important Emi, and as your friend and a minister of the gospel I really hope you can take this into consideration. I love talking to you and reading your fics, and I truly truly dont want you to kill yourself. I love you Emi, and more importantly God loves you. Jesus loves. God bless you Emi <3333

Also. You should listen to positive music. Id recommend what he says about you by unspoken music or beloved by jordan feliz, because they are really like comforting(?) and its the truth. Its the truth and theyre telling you that you dint have to listen or care to the worlds lies.

i don't think you guys realize how much of a loser i actually am.

tw. swearing, sui mention, sh mention, self hatred mention, just... a lot of things. If you're triggered by someone with moderate depression talking about random shit, I wouldn't interact for your own comfort.

I'm constantly a target of bullying from fuckfaces at my school

I'm fucking stupid and bad at making decisions

I'm can't help but cry at everything that goes wrong like a fucking bitch

I hate myself and act like an emo bitch

I try to talk to people and make friends but I'm fucking incapable to the point where I think about jumping

I scratch and scratch and scratch my arm because I'm anxious so my friends yell at me and I feel fucking stupid and want to dig a hole

all I do is complain so my friends are getting fed up with me

I never have any confidence in myself so my friends get mad at me

I constantly ruin things for my family

I'm always called gay or some type of shit and though it may be partly true, I know they're saying it as an insult

I sometimes look in the mirror and wonder who that ugly, worthless, useless, dumb bitch is looking back at me

I have on MULTIPLE OCCASIONS had to go to the bathroom so I could cry

I'm such a fucking weirdo. Students my age in my school don't write fanfiction on Tumblr or have anything to do with anime or whatever shit and it's making me hate myself

I feel like a fucking alien

I get called a pick me

I'm not ‘popular’ which means I'm stupid and hated by almost every ‘popular’ kid

I'm compared to my peers because I don't wear makeup and don't act like a bitch like the ‘popular’ kids

I try to tell my friends about my interests but they never seem to care even though I listen to them talk so intently

I also try to tell my friends about my problems but they brush it off like it's nothing

I always change myself so I'm not called weird or treated different

I pretend to like or not like things so people don't hate me or yell at me or make fun of me

so fuck. I finally decided what I want to do. I'm just gonna shut the fuck up, stop participating in class, stop talking to my friends, just... stop. Fuck. If people still hate me after I completely close myself off maybe I will fucking do it.

[bepp-ers]

yknow what? we need more yandere obey me in here. here are some headcanons for living with the yandere brothers!! requests are always open! <3

headcanons and general thoughts for yandere! obey me! swd? part 1 - brothers. gonna do a part 2 for dateables, will link here when done

When you first arrived in the Devildom, you weren't expecting the brothers to be like this at all.

Sure, as demons, they weren't gonna act like people, but this? This was just too much.

The first to... fall for you was Mammon, obviously. He was clingy, and almost treated you like a trophy.

It was a bit cute, at first.

"Look how cute me 'n MC look! We got matching sunglasses!!" would turn into "I was MC's first, ya know - Pretty sure they value me above you!"

It was a downward spiral. But that was only a slice of your problematic pie.

This lead you to Leviathan. Oh, insecure little Levi who - if you hadn't seen it for yourself first hand - you would think couldn't harm a fly.

Apparently, he needed you more than you needed yourself. You'd thought he was sweet, with his insecurities and all that.

Nope. He was way too clingy, always wanting you by his side.

He was worse than Mammon, and between the two of them you weren't entirely sure how you were going to cope.

Still, despite the uneasiness that befell you whenever you were in his prescence, he certainly wasn't the worst.

Beel came afterwards, seemingly hungry for food and your company.

Maybe it was because you saved his twin, or that you were always there to help him, but the guy fell and he fell hard.

He had an appetite, and be it eating your cooking, working out with you filming, or napping with you sandwiched between himself and Belphie, he was never satisfied.

He needed to be around you, and he wanted to protect you at all costs.

You were only a little human compared to him, he just wanted to keep you safe. And to keep you around him at all times, if that's what it took.

Moving swiftly on, you thought of Asmo who was almost as obsessed with you as he was himself.

Actually, that might be the other way around if you thought about it.

The guy initially didn't think you'd last a single week, and now he couldn't stop pestering you to spend every moment of every day with him.

Of course, though he couldn't spend all his time with you, he could dictate a lot of your life for you.

What should have been relaxing time to yourself was now dreadful, fearful horror to avoid at all costs. So handsy... sometimes, when you closed your eyes, you could still feel those slender fingers.

It was uncomfortable at best, and sickening to think about. He can't help it though, he protests, he just loves everything about you!!

To add to the ever-growing list, Satan knew just about everything there was to know about you.

"Knowledge is power," He had told you, and apparently this guy was pretty powerful.

It was almost as though he could see into your mind, he knew what you wanted before you could even think about it. It infuriated you, to the point where you'd begun to question whether you were truly alone in the safety of your own room.

He assured that, of course, it was nothing special, he just liked gathering information.

But something about the letters he left said otherwise...

The penultimate brother was, of course, the slothful Belphie.

A small mercy, you supposed, was how forward he was with his feelings.

He expressed on numerous occasions that, if given the chance, then he'd live with you and Beel and everything would be perfect.

And when you lay there at night, dark hair tickling your neck, leathery tail pinning you closer to him, you knew exactly how bad things were.

There really was no helping it, you were his saviour after all, having freed him from that attic and reunited him with his brothers.

Oh- and he did technically kill you, so he had to make it up for you! By showing you all this love, surely you'd realise how much he loved you?

And how much he appreciated you? He sure had a weird way of showing it, though, keeping you all to himself the way he did.

Worst of all, though, had to be Lucifer. He was powerful and he knew it, with an ego that was indescribably inflated, he treated you almost as property.

You couldn't get away- his word was like law. The only demon above him was Diavolo, and well, you wouldn't be receiving help from him anytime soon.

Life here was hell, which checked out considering as this was quite literally hell.

There is no escape. There is no refuge, or help to be found anywhere. You're stuck, so make the most of it! It's all you can do.

[yongislong]

little person.

genre: yuta x reader (but you can imagine anyone in his place of it brings you comfort) angst, sad, domestic, fluff, suggestive ish, sad hours boink, self indulgent

cw/note: mentions of reader wearing makeup but gn, angsty, talks of depression, anxiety, isolation, money issues, college, heavy topics, love can't cure mental illness at all, but it's nice to be comforted yknow? inspired by pull by christian leave and little person by matt maltese, please give them a listen, not proofread...

overwhelmed is an understatement.

with college payment deadlines, chapters due, essays, campus life and being a full time server, it's not surprising how yuta noticed your burn out so quickly.

he would always nag you for working so hard, especially when you downplayed yourself so much. you were clearly burning the wick at both ends yet constantly referred to yourself in reference to being lazy and lacking. he never understood why.

you were clearly working yourself to the bone. even mark noticed when he came over to paint his nails with yuta one night, you busting through the front door with a tired smile and a promise of seeing him next time when you're not so sleepy and smell like stale bread. always waving them off like nothings wrong, while limping to the shared bathroom inside your room on the other side of the hallway. eyes sunken and face pale. makeup smeared. alongside a throwaway comment about how awful a customer had been to you.

but you really didn't think anything was wrong. i mean, you're doing what you're supposed to do. people are going through much worse than you and working a lot harder. sometimes it didn't seem fair that you thought to put yourself first.

yuta made it his mission to make you feel better.

you woke up after him. patting the empty space next to you. opening your eyes and shutting them almost as fast as the light from the blinds ajar burned the edges of your pupils, causing you to wipe along your lash line.

oh my god.

thrashing awake with heavy breaths and shaky palms you slam your hands down on your nightstand in an effort to reach your phone.

12:47. OH MY GOD?!

"oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, no, no, no, this is not happening, fuck..." you muttered, trying to gather your things and running to the bathroom to wash your face and grab your uniform for the night. rushing into the kitchen you see yuta, shirtless, back facing you as he seems busy with a pan in hand. swaying to the music playing from his earbuds. sweatpants low on his hips, tattoo on full display. pink gem belly ring sparkling.

"why didn't you wake me up babe?!? yuta!!!!! uhghhhg!!" you stomped over to him, pulling your hair up in a banana clip while making your way over, tapping his shoulder once you reached him. he seemed equally as confused as you are once he spun around, especially now that you're desperatly tugging your his shirt over your head to change. with a frantic look in your eyes.

"huh? babe, babe, hey.... not that i mind... but chill out, you have a free day today" he smiles softly, letting his hand travel from where he moved his headphones to grip your hips, lightly pulling you forward and pecking your cheekbone.

"what are you on about?? i have lecture today, and i'm already late, can you drive me. please? oh my god im so sorry i woke up late, oh fuck i hope i turned in my lit review last night... was it due... fuck i have to do my quiz today too, i'll get off work too late though..." you muttered under your breath in between gasps and cringes as you go back to trying to slip on your socks and shoes.

"relax, h-hey, y/n, darling, stop... i called your professors and boss last night, you need to rest. and you're going to. i'll help you do something if it's due tonight but the next two days will be spent here... with me!" he coos, a contrast from the smirk falling on his lips as you slow down your movements from where you were perched on the hardwood floor. yuta towering over your figure.

he sinks down on the ground with you, letting the wire from his headphones rest on his neck, the buds clinking subtly, as he moves to smooth his hand over your bare thigh in an effort to ground you.

"yu, what are you talking about, i- i can't, i cant. no! i-" you pressed the heels of your palms into your eyes. you were freaking out. mostly because you felt bad. and you were fine, right? i mean doesn't everybody feel this tired? you couldn't have had yuta so worried that he took it upon himself to halt you in your tracks... right? you don't even work that hard...

reaching for your wrists, he pries away your hands from your puffy face "yes. yes you are y/n. you're so clearly burnt-out! im proud that you're working hard but you're disappearing in front of me babe... you just seem... so sad..." he frowns, dipping his head low to meet where your eyes stayed glued to the floor, "i can't fathom how you don't think you work hard. you do. and you do so much. i hate it when you say its what you have to do. that you're just doing what everyone else does and that you feel you don't have a right to feel drained. you could've given up a long time ago but you haven't. why are you so hard on yourself? hmph? please don't treat me like a stranger, i want you to be able to be transparent with me. i don't judge and you know that, especially not when it comes to you. so please just forget about everything for a while. i know it's only two days but i want you to relax yes," he ends his monologue with a breathy chuckle. " and ugh, yes, maybe i'm selfish and i do want to be able to wake up next to you again," he says with an eye roll and a smile. you snicker, throwing your head back slightly. he watches you in awe.

"there's that pretty laugh" he whispers, catching your chin with his pointer finger and thumb, as you lower your head back down and uses them to angle you head to look up at him from where he pulled you onto his lap on the floor. you hadn't even noticed how close you both had gotten during his confession. but you didn't mind.

he catches your lips with his as you part them, the beginnings of a response to his words are swallowed up by his mouth as he kisses you like he hasn't seen you in months. you pull away softly, he chases your mouth, leaving two or three more soft pecks on your cupids bow before burying his face in the sliver of you neck revealed from how the collar of his old, worn, shirt lays against your shoulders.

he knows you're thankful by the way he can feel your heart beating out of your chest. the hands still holding your wrists can feel the way your pulse changed when he kissed you, and how it never slowed down, even after he stopped. he doesn't need to hear you say it.

the butter that was once melting on the stove was now long forgotten, the crackles from the gas stove and the rattling of you tiny cat's collar bell created background noise.

yuta lifted his head up from the junction in your neck, smiling drowsily, as if he had drank two bottle of soju. his long hair made purchase over his eyes he laughed giddily though his nostrils.

he stood up pulling you with him. turning off the stove and dragging you back towards your shared room. the mess you had left on the kitchen floor remained untouched. stack of pancakes yuta had made were left sitting on a hello kitty plate situated on the kitchen counter. your shared black kitten followed behind your guys' feet. stretching along the edge of the bed yuta sits you on to remove the shoes you so desperately were trying to shove on. kneeled down in front of you, he kisses your shin, grinning up at you. locking his hands around your ankles, he shifts your legs to lay under the dark velvet comforter he bought.

a comfortable silence filled the room as he shuffles next to you, pressing his face up against your chest and inhaling. pulling his face up with both of your palms on his cheeks, you look at him with a soft smile and eyes glossed over.

"i love you, thank you, you have no idea, you're kind of a genius... very sneaky, it was kinda freaky," you say lowly as you both stifle laugher over the small joke you released.

"i know, i know... i love you most"

i didn't take long after this exchange for you to lull back into slumber. even in your sleep he felt your hands instinctively wrap themselves around his neck, raking lightly through the long hairs near the base of his spine. the legs he'd slung against your hips are used to pull you impossibly closer to his front. he takes his as an opportunity to crane his neck to look up at you. hair sprawled all over the satin pillowcases. a the look of comfort and peace he hasn't seen in ages.

oh yeah, he's a genius.

closing note: omg some of the stuff i wrote reminds me of my other fic :") so apologies if it seems similar LOL also??? no one writes for yuta its insane. anyways i hope this brings somone comfort or enjoyment even if it wasnt requested! i usually dont do closing notes but the top of the post was getting so cluttered TT

[aka-indulgence]

I love the way you write robo-skiders inner thoughts 🥺 crazy robot monster breaking out of his programming and finding love, for better or for worse... could we maybe get pov of his thought process after he killed for her?? 🥺🥺

Since you asked so nicely uwu

Takes place right after the scene where you go into the vents.

ALSO kinda inspired by this fanart by black wolf spirit ‘w’

(Warning: mild gore, blood, yknow, stuff S4-N5 likes)

It'd take a while for Sans to cool down after he just barely misses you. If you were there to see, how he expresses himself through body language and scratching the walls, you'd think he was angry because of his blood thirst.

After he stands for a while, covering his eyes (after observing it from the humans), he pulls his hands down... seeing the red staining his claws.

And he...

Gets a sense of calm at seeing the traces of violence. He turns his hand, as if he was fascinated by the blood, flexing his fingers.

...

that felt good.

He doesn't have human morals. The only reason he served humans this long was because he was told to. Maybe if they treated him better he would've valued their lives, but no. That only made his coding restricting rather than help him really internalize "Helping human=good". The only human life on the ship that truly matters to him is yours.

He goes over the body of poor Mark... Sans doesn't even remember much of him. He remembers maybe that Mark once used him as a servant, telling him to grab a snack or drink from the cafeteria. Unfortunately he had to listen to him because Mark used a "it would really help me..." that made his protocols listen. Perhaps somewhat gratefully, Mark had thought Sans arriving at his door when he decided to leave his room (after Sans purposefully made it take too long) was too disturbing for him to try again. Of course... his clear desire to get Sans away from the living quarters certainly left him feeling less than pleasant.

He walks closer to Mark's body. He kicks it around, flopping him from face down to lying on his back. Sans smiles at the mangled torso, blood still fresh, body still somewhat warm... though quickly losing heat. His eyes glance to the side, at the useless gun laying on the floor.

He picks it up.

"not such a big boy after all, are you?" Sans teases, as the gun crumbles under his hands, letting it fall to the ground besides Mark. Can't let anyone else have a weapon... albeit useless against him.

Before his freedom, Sans had often wished for the crew member's untimely deaths, his rage building and building over time. Its such a release, now that he could give them just that.

He could kill them in less gruesome ways, even arguably more effective ways. Shutting of the air, using a tool in him as an impromptu gun or some other kind of long range weapon. But after the few human lives he's taken, he's found not only was he rageful enough to kill them... but he also enjoyed the action. Even now, his machines are whirring at the thought of chasing someone, and feeling their life drain from his own hands.

It's like what some humans would say, from his days researching human culture for you... some people would never find out what their hobbies would be before it was invented. And now without his restrictions, Sans found he loved the thrill of the hunt.

... Sans sighs, closing his eyes, moving away from the body.

Of course... he also loves you.

He opens his eyes again as he crawls to the window, remembering how much time you'd spend just looking out.

He touches the window, looking at his bloodied hand again.

... for a moment, a memory flashes into him, automatically pulled from his drive. From when his hands were still clean, and the few moments where a situation gave you the chance to touch his hand. He remembers your smile... he has so many pictures of you smiling at him saved in his drive. It brought him... joy, whenever he looked at them again. Exactly the same as it was in that moment, like he really was reliving the moment.

You ran away from him. You were smart... you knew something was wrong. As soon as he took control of the ship, he had pinpointed your location on the ship and ran to you as fast as he could. He was hoping you wouldn't think anything was different, but of course you did. He would have to think you were an idiot to not suspect anything... and he would never think that of you.

Nonetheless, he had chased you. You were his directive, after all. He was desperate to have you... and he'd be lying if he said he didn't get excited while he was chasing you.

Which... he could lie, now. He's enjoying all the things he couldn't do before, but most importantly... he can truly pursue you now. He can finally tell you how he feels about you, how he wanted to be with you.

(y/n)...

i love you.

He hears a door open.

"Oh finally, I-"

A woman in a lab coat stands in the doorway. The look of relief on her face was quickly changed to alarmed when she sees Sans. He can see her eyes darting, from his face, to his hands, to- ...

Possibly smears of red on the floor, with legs sticking out from a hallway.

She turns to run.

Sans' moment of reverie quickly washes away, and a desire for violence replaces it. His eyes glow brighter, and he gives chase.

[ottiliere]

not sure if you already have been asked this but what specific music do you think dirk would listen to? I'm a firm believer that he would listen to tyler the creator and devi mccallion I feel like he would specifically try to listen to "underrated" and "unknown" songs just to get a boost of confidence from being "cool"

ok he would not like devi m. i cannot understate this he would NOT like that kind of music. at all. i adore her music personally and it's been hugely influential and she is a total genius of course this goes without saying but the way she puts her feelings forward in her work is....not something he would enjoy seeing. it isn't that he can't relate or anything it's that he doesn't even try. think of it like this ok. he's self conscious. he's self aware to ridiculous, self defeating degrees, always. he is self conscious to the point of sickness. he's not going to like hearing someone sit down and sing about the most earnest, intense feelings they've had with a waver in their voice or whatever he'd think it's stupid. he'd demean it. at most he might respect technical skill but he would think very little of any music like that, i think. could see him going to far as to harass bedroom pop / alt artists for this reason in general...he thinks it's lazy stupid and shallow to sit around and sing about your feelings that's dumb weakshit literally anyone could do. if you're satisfied doing that your work is meaningless, because your work is tantamount to public self embarrassment. you know how in kids movies there's a character archetype of like a guy who doesn't know how to express themselves and thinks its stupid and gay to have feelings. he's like that but worse. it isn't even that he's scared of "opening up" or "being honest" with himself or anyone else; it's that the concept disgusts him fundamentally and prevents him from growing or moving on or recovering or coming to terms with himself or blah blah yknow. so yeah no devi sorry bro. tyler is too normal for him too ill be honest.

he probably does listen to niche underground people and all that but i dont think it's an ego stroking thing i think he genuinely likes the shit he listens to. he does think he's better and cooler than everyone else for listening to what he does but he doesn't listen to it with intention to make himself feel this way it's just the way he feels. he'd love captain ahab, raggedy angry, etc. i think i linked uncle outrage on here once.... that type of music i think is so him, not just in terms of sound but the attitude. self loathing and self aggrandizing in the same breath...very mean, very very mean words! lots of shock value offensive type stuff. oh such mean words. yeah he'd dig it. old msi type shit. i dont want to just bind him to that type of stuff though like i think he'd listen to comical amounts of music and could see him getting into mashcore or pisscore with an almost genuine fervor! he would love piss spears...he would crawl around online digging up peoples old shit that no one cares about anymore. even if he doesn't care for what he finds i think he'd do it for sport and for inspiration. can also see him listening to renard actively at basically any point in his life. but who doesn't do that.

[usertoxicyaoi]

totally totally agree with that anon, in fact i was about to send you a similar ask but they beat me to it ahsjdkfkgjs but yes!!! feel like we can learn a Lot from you. thank you for being here and sharing yourself with us, im really SO glad i found you, yknow? anyway since im here, just wanted to ask- whats it like being a teacher, especially to kids that young? what did you study in school? how do you interact with your kids and teach them in a way they understand (i guess thats what you wouldve studied in school)? ((ofc you dont have to answer these)) sending you love as always 🥰❤️

hiiii anon!!!

chfhd9f ANON!!!! thank you!!!!!!! this means a lot!!!!

aaaaah okay!

whats it like being a teacher to kids that young? im gonna keep it real, its Hard Work. but then you remember the fact that until they dont learn how to sit still for a prolonged period of time, until they don't learn how to hold a pen, how to gradually prolong their attention span, how to get their own coat, how to ask for more, how to eat by themselves, how to express their preferences, you know, these simple but fundamental skills, they can't fully move onto the next step of their learning journey. so its Hard. and it requires soooo much repetition. a lot of patience and willpower. and it can be very mentally exhuasting bc as an adult you're like "come on, all i'm asking you to do is get your coat!", but then you see the child process what you're asking, and you realise just how much is being asked of them, at 3 or 4 years old, and how big the world is for and looks to them. and its just. you know. you realising that. oh. so i need to break this down step by step for them. they need to understand what a coat is, where it is, if its theirs or not, how to stand and get to their coat and come back with it without getting distracted etc. so yeah. it just makes you appreciate it all, when. like. in september, i Know my kids won't be able to sit for more than 2 or 3 minutes. but by november/december? they'll be able to do so for 10 minutes straight. and that's a Lot for a 3-4 year old child, but that's what we need for them to work up to. and by december, when they can do it perfectly, its so worth it. because then we can move onto. like. teaching teaching. before you even THINK about teaching, you need to get the sitting and listening and attention and communication parts checked off first.

what did i study at school? ok. so. at college (ages 16-18), i did biology, chemistry, psychology and ICT for my a-levels. then in uni, it got a bit messy. i did psychology for 6 months, then dropped out, hoping that it'd help me understand my eating disorder, it didnt. it only made it worse and sent me in a really ... urm ... yeah odd place. so i took a gap year and tried to sort my head out (and oh boy the older desi generation Do Not like gap years ... as i learnt that year, bc life's literally like a checklist for us, its about ticking things off quickly one by one, with no time to pause). then i got my undergraduate degree in food and nutritional sciences. and i had a Lot of options to choose from: i could go into sports as a sports nutritionist for athletes and sportspeople, or be a clinical dietician, or go into food innovation and new product development.

i didnt. i only studied food and nutritional sciences to help me, once again, understand my eating disorder. and it did. it helped me so so SO much. bc i got to Know about food at a microscopic, atomic level. and ive always always wanted to be chef. but i didnt quite know how to get there. and being Desi ....... has its own ... urm. barriers. you should go into science - i did. yeah but not That kinda science though, more like medical science - yeah but i dont WANT to.

and being desi means noone has a fucking clue about what an eating disorder is. so. i could only help myself. and im so glad i did.

because then i got my pgce and became a school teacher! and i can teach kids upto the age of 11 (so, primary school), but i chose to specialise in early years, so here i am!

how do i interact with my kids and teach them in a way they understand? i mean, yeah you learn the theory during your degree. but all that? goes out of the window when you're in the classroom. because yeah, you teach the kids. but they teach you how to teach them. some kids dont like learning in big groups, others like colour or puppets or visual aids, some like stories and singing and audio aids, some need sensory play and novelty whilst some can just sit and do it and learn in the traditional way. so you've gotta go with how they work best. more of it is observing and learning how they work best, and then adapting to it. praising them for the good they do, and more of showing them how to do the right thing and less of reprimanding them for doing the wrong thing. bc yeah you can tell them what they did was wrong, but thats just the half of it. its my duty to show them how to do whats right. bc they need that more. and repeating that over and over again until they can do it independently!