#Yes even in the year 2024!
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So I live in a hazy bubble and somehow managed to entirely forget there was a TV show happening but if you're just finding The Fallout Series big friendly hugs to you <3 I have thoughts and opinionsā¢ and complaints because no piece of art is objectively perfect but welcome to one of my favourite things ever! :)
#fallout#I can't watch the show because I have -1000 energy for anything NEW right now. Hope it's at least decent.#And yes most of my thoughts opinions and complaints are loathing the moral and artistic cowardice of bethesda studios' choices#but there are things to love about the bethesda entries as well. They lack the juicy substance of the original two and NV#but if you can ignore that and create your own characters and live like me in the hope that some day someone inteligent will own the IP#you can have fun with them. At least. it SOUNDS like people are managing to have fun with 76- couldn't play that one if I WANTED to#SOME OF US DON'T HAVE THE INTERNET FOR ALWAYS ONLINE GAMES TODD! AND GAMING INDUSTRY AT LARGE!#Yes even in the year 2024!#Farscape is my current new thing and I'm at an episode a week as yee olde tv watching landscape intended
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Sukunaās Loneliness Part 4 (Sukunaās Negative Rizz)
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3
Some warnings before we start.
1) This analysis deals with sexual topics.
2) I will be mainly using the TCB scans because of their accessibility.Ā Raws are from mangareader(.)to.
3) This was written as of JJK 262 266. (I'm just going to keep updating this until I stop finding things I should've noticed earlier.)
4) The raws broke me in ways you cannot possibly imagine.
(Click images for captions/citations.)
Fighting as Communication
Baki the Grappler. This is a manga where men destroy each otherās bodies as a test of strength. Itās poorly written but the art is terrifying and I love it so dearly. Between fights of extreme violence and body horror the characters eat. And thatās it. Thatās the manga.
I bring Baki up because Gege is a huge fan of Fujimoto Tatsuki, the creator of Chainsawman. Fujimoto is a fan of Gege too, but more importantly, he is a huge fan of Itagaki Keisuke, the creator of Baki. (His daughter made Beastars btw.) In a way, this means Jujutsu Kaisen has been influenced by Baki. But thatās not a surprise, a lot of manga is.
Itagakiās work is so massively influetial on Japanese media that itās kind of hard to grasp since itās not as popular overseas. When listening to interviews from various Japanese creators, Baki will often be cited as a major influence. And the thing is, you can tell when a creative has read Baki. Thereās nothing quite like it. If youāve read Baki and consume Chainsawman, you will see its bones everywhere. I feel the same about Jujutsu Kaisen.
The main antagonist in Baki is Yujiro Hanma. He is the strongest creature alive. So much so that he has no one to call a rival. Heās bored. He causes trouble. He kills his wife to motivate his son, Baki into becoming stronger. His son, Baki, who he grooms into becoming a fighter that might beat him in combat one day. Kind of sounds like Sukuna, right?
But thatās not my point here. My focus is how Baki doubles as a discussion about strength and manhood. Itās aggressively bisexual. Men love each other with their fists. Straight up the main character says having sex with women is the same thing as fighting men.
And it just doesnāt stop there. The homoerotic nature of the fights is never shyed away from. Hereās an example of my favorite.
He grabs his balls and compliments their size. Thatās pretty gay, right? Well thereās this reanimated prehistoric caveman called Pickle that fights Bakiās brother Jack. And how do they fight? They kiss.
I didnāt call it a kiss. Itagaki did. I didnāt say they melded together. Itagaki did. This mangaka overtly calls attention to the homoerotic nature of men fighting men, and how men communicate their love for each other through violence. And yes, itās sexual. Itagaki wants you to read it that way.
But sometimes he doesnāt want you to read it that way. Sometimes the fights are a dialogue, an emotional conversation. Like one between father and son.
Itagaki is a master of narrative framing. When he wants you to feel a certain way, you will feel it. He also tells his readers that thereās more to the fights than just fighting.
Those are the ideas that help me see the bones of Baki in other works. Men loving men with violence. Men communicating with men through violence. I see these ideas in Jujutsu Kaisen too.
Jujutsu Communication
Iāve gone over how Yuji commucates with other people on their own terms. And a lot of it is through fighting. A conversation without words, learning how someone works. Yuji is good at using fights as tool of communication.
But heās not the one who tells you that thereās more to the fights than just fighting. Maki does in her spar with the sumo guy.
Just like Baki. Fighting is a means of communication. Gege has told you that there can be more to the fights than fighting. It's a tool used to understand the self and others.
With that in mind, I want to reexamine a particular fight under the lens of Baki rather than Umineko.
Sukuna vs Gojo
Baki tells you that homoerotic readings of its fights are intentional. If you ask me, this probably stems from historical stances on masculinity and homosexuality in ancient Japan. Men loved men and women differently, but both were ok. Thatās how Baki can have a girlfriend and his gay fights. Peak bisexual optimization.
What does Jujutsu Kaisen have to do with this? Well it has been extremely queer friendly. We have a multidue of canonical trans characters, non-binary characters, and other flavors of queer characters not disparaged for their identities, Gojo Satoru included. It may not be stated outright, but Gojo and Geto do love each other in a gay way. The subtext is so persisent itās basically text.
In other words, Gege has already told us, yes please have queer readings of this text. Itās the same way Baki tells you, yes this is straight up convoluded gay sex. So thatās what Iām going to do. Iām going to reread the Sukuna and Gojo fight as some ridiculous mating display between two men who are fighting over can miscommunicate their intent the hardest.
Framed as Courtship
Letās start with the framing. The pre-fight set up. How does text tell you queer readings are allowed?
Kenjaku does. Itās romantic. Itās a date. This reading has been made valid explicitly. And if thereās room for doubt because of the sarcasm? Thereās still additional support for it.
We already know how badly in love Gojo is with Geto. The fight is on the 24th of December, the most romantic day in Japan. And in a fun little Geto parallel, who declared the start of war on this day, violence underlines this new romantic venture.
That doesnāt include Sukuna who recalls Yorozuās words about teaching love in the context of marriage.
Gojo never heard that conversation which is why the next point is absolutely insane.
The outfit Gojo initially is in resembles that of a groom at a Shinto wedding.
Shinto weddings were implemented after the Heian era. Part of the ceremony includes a priest and a shrine maiden who respectively stand to the right and left of the altar. A purification ritual will occur, lead by the priest, to cleanse the shrine before vows are exchanged. Gakuganji is the priest and Utahime is the shrine maiden. To the right and left of Gojo respectively.
The bride at a Shinto wedding wears mainly white. After the 200% Hollow Purple cleanses the area, the dark shawl is removed and Sukuna remains in mostly white.
How interesting that this battle has been framed as one between groom and bride.
The thing is, marriage in the Heian era was far more lax. There were no major ceremonies. If a man was interested in marrying a woman, he would visit her for 3 nights after receiving approval from her father. Upon the passing of their 3rd night together, the family would have an informal celebration of their union in private. Even after marriage, multiple partners were allowed and sometimes encouraged.
Yorozuās big celebration proposal to Sukuna and banning of concubines was quite improper by Heian standards. Though it is in line with modern marriages. If Sukuna did not consume any Shinto wedding literature, he probably didnāt recognize that Gojo was dressed as a groom.
But did Gojo dress this way for Sukuna intentionally? The Toji fit served an entirely different purpose. Itās the robes and pre-fight ceremony that catch my attention. So I propose the following:
1) Gojo dressed up as a groom to die and be wed with his one and only Geto in death.
2) Gojo dressed up as a groom in part as an offering to Sukuna. And because Sukuna is from the Heian era it went over his head entirely.
3) Gojo intended for both of these things at the same time and left who he would end up with to fate.
Regardless of what Gojo was going for here, itās a visual cue combined with the knowledge of it being Dec 24th that encourages the reader to perhaps consider the fight as something other than just a fight. A date perhaps? Kenjaku made the connection and neither Gojo or Sukuna really denied it. Gojo gave the weak excuse of a death anniversary confusion. But much weirder, given how hostile he was to Yorozu, Sukuna did not object to the romantic framing in any capacity.
Am I reaching? Is this reading intentional?
When I start getting this confused by how a translated work wants me to read it, I try to refer to the original language text and anyone who knows it for missing context. Sometimes localizations add things that werenāt there or push readers towards one interpretation. So for the rest of this analysis, Iām going to be focusing on the raws.
Iām going to be honest. My Japanese fudging sucks. I can barely read kanji and canāt reliably translate anything. Feel free to correct me if I got something wrong. That being said, with what little I do know, I have discovered something interesting.
In this post I talked about how weird Sukunaās manner of speech is. I focused on his you pronoun usage of ćå (Omae) for everyone else and č²“ę§ (Kisama) for Gojo since this is a strong indicator of how a character views their relationship to someone.
Here's a summary of the two points I made in that post:
1) Omae is informal and either a casual thing amongst peers or indicates the speaker's higher status. Since Sukuna is arrogant, we can reasonably assume he's talking down to people.
2) Kisama historically was a formal show of respect, but in modern times it is a hostile insult, much more rude than Omae. Since Sukuna is 1,000 years old and hates Yuji (who he uses Omae with), we can reasonably assume Sukuna was being friendly to Gojo when he used Kisama.
With that pronoun usage in mind, while examining the raws for the infamous āYou Cleared My Skiesā speech I found this:
Kisama. Sukuna is very happy and lavishing Gojo with praise. The assumption it was formal from the start seems to be correct. It's hard to read this any other way.
Though Japanese can easily be dubious in its interpretation, there are instances where context can cut off all other readings. I truly believe this one of those cases.
Now, to confirm Sukuna is still only treating Gojo this way I started looking at his you pronouns as he got excited post-Gojo death. Maki is the person he seems to admire the most.
Heās still just using Omae. What does that mean? Gojo is in his own fudging category for Sukuna and he has been there since the start of the manga. (For more on why this is significant, refer to this post.)
Wow ok. Thatās pretty intense! Weāve got Gojo dressed up as a groom on December 24th and Sukuna treating Gojo different from anyone else. I read their fight again under the lens of explicit courtship and focused in on these specific panels.
Satisfaction. Now thatās a word that can easily carry a sexual connotation. Love as well. The parallel syntax fascinated me in English. So I decided to look at the raws and see how close they are.
Pretty much the same except for "the one who will teach you love" and "the one satisfying him now". Since the one being satisfied is Gojo by Sukuna, it really seems we can assume the one being taught love is Gojo by Sukuna.
Time to learn some Japanese again!
Kanji has multiple readings. Most have at least two. The Onyomi (Chinese) reading typically used for nouns and the Kunyomi (Japanese) reading typically used for verbs. (This is not always the case but itās the basics.)
Thatās probably why ęŗ is read as ć¾ć (man) when Gojo and Geto are talking about āsatisfactionā using the On version and ćæ (mi), the Kun version, when the narrator is talking about who āsatisfiesā who.
However ęŗ on its own does not mean satisfaction. It means full. To be filled. Or fullness. č¶³ (zoku) is added as a modifier after ęŗ to be read as satisfaction ęŗč¶³ (manzoku). č¶³ usually means feet, but it can also mean to be sufficient. Manzoku therefore has a direct translation of being sufficiently full. Itās not a surprise a lot of food places in Japan use Manzoku in their names or advertising.
But whatās this? Why is this sentence written as ęŗććć¦ or Mi(tashite) instead of ęŗč¶³ćć¦ or Manzoku(shite)? The addition of Zoku is what transforms Man into "satisfying". Without the Zoku, itās just "fill". The means this sentence can be read as āThe one filling him up now isāā
Weāve already established that the blank is Sukuna. The new problem is that heās filling Gojo up. And boy, does that sound homoerotic to put it lightly. But perhaps I am reaching.
So I did what any sane person would do in this situation. I read hentai.
Surely if the phrase ęŗććć¦ (mitashite) can carry a sexual connotation I will find it in hentai.
...
I immediately found a yaoi doujin called Fill me with your Big Love aka ćć£ććŖęć§ęŗććć¦ (Okkina Ai de Mitashite). Honestly, I found too many doujins about creampies specifically. (You have internet access verify this yourself.) When you search Manzokushite the results are much more in line with life satisfaction than sexual satisfaction. ...So Gege decided to use the more frisky phrasing.
Manzoku is also the name of an active sex toy manufacturer (Iām not linking them use a search engine.) and a discontinued adult entertainment news company. So the satisfaction Gojo and Geto talk about, along with Geto using 妬 (ya), the jealous kanji often used between lovers, is definitely probably carrying a sexual connotation too.
So, Iām not reaching. What the fudge did Gege mean by this?
Now that we've established that I am NOT reaching. What do we do with this information?
Well, we ruminate on the fight with the knowledge that Sukuna, of his own volition, decided to get Gojo off, probably.
I have forgiven Nanami for calling Gojo a pervert. If I watched someone bust a nut after being cut in half by his sworn enemy instead of saving the country, I too would be like what the fudge.
Anyways, the typical phrase used for an orgasm in Japanese is č”ć(iku). It translates as to go. And yes it can mean to die, as in going to the other side. To die and go to heaven if you will. Which is what Gojo did with a big old smile on his face.
Thereās also the term åæ天 (tokoroten). It refers to a dish were a semi-opaque white substance is pushed through holes to create noodles. Literal translation using the kanji for heart åæ (kokoro) and the kanji for heaven 天 (ten). (Donāt ask me why them being smack together turns the Koroko into Tokoro. I donāt know.) Which in slang refers to prostate orgasms. This has nothing to do with this analysis I wanted to drop this fun fact in here. ā¦And this image of Sukuna clutching his heart while looking at someone he sent to heaven.
(This is a reach but the idea of this being an elaborate gay pun amuses me greatly.)
I have another fun slang term: č³¢č
ćæć¤ć (kenjataimu) which directly translates to sage č³¢č
(kenja) time ćæć¤ć (taimu). This refers to post-nut clarity sending someone into a meditative-like state.
Oh thatās a bit familiar. Sukuna was giving sagely advice to Kashimo and reflecting on satisfaction and love.
And whatās this? Mitashite has made a reappearance! Sukuna is saying āIāve never thought about needing another person to fill me up.ā Which 1. further supports the 'The one satisfying/filling him (Gojo) now isāSukuna.' reading and 2. suggests Sukuna is a top suggests Sukuna really doesnāt have sexual interest in people. (Since the context of this convo is relationships and love.)
By the way. Acts of eating in Japanese can be modified to carry sexual meanings. Itās a bit more suggestive than English, but it carries over pretty well I think? čé£ē³» (nikusokukei) refers to someone who aggresively pursues romantic or sexual relationships. Composed of the kanji č (niku) for meat, é£ (ta) for eating, and ē³» (kei) class. If you noticed, é£ isnāt usually read as Soku. It becomes Soku when paired with Niku for some reason. (I donāt know why someone please help me.) Side by side the kanji čé£ (nikusoku) means meat-eater.
é£ is still interesting on itās own. The é£ć¹ć (taberu) reading is normal eating. The é£ć(kuu) reading is an innuendo. It can mean to devour someone, like a cannibal, or devour someone sexually.
Sukuna has made it very clear that his eating of people is literal. Thereās no innuendo. In fact, if you read into it, heāll kill you (rip Yorozu and Kashimo).
Gojo, however, appears to be his sole exception to this rule. When Sukuna tells Kashimo not to spoil his pleasure he uses the kanji č (kyou). This of course can be directly translated as pleasure, but the Chinese reading of it can also indicate intense excitement or sexual arousal.
Sukuna is pretty good at double-entendre wordplay if his earlier stunts with the kanji for Enchain doubling as Megumi Activities if read a different way is anything to go by. He's a fan of Chinese literature. It's not a stretch to assume there's more going on here.
And if notoriously homophobic Reddit dudebros are posting things like this. Maybe there's a lot more merit to this reading than I can currently grasp.
Iām still pretty convinced Sukuna is aroace. That of course doesnāt bar him from pursuing romantic or sexual relationships. Sometimes thereās the one exception. Sometimes the desire to be with and please an allo partner allows for engagement of activities they arenāt into. Sometimes the actions are pursued without the emotional attachment because they physically feel good. Thereās also the gray-scale and demi labels to consider.
With that in mind, I want to emphasize this all points to how important Gojo is to Sukuna regardless of sexuality. He tried to engage with and understand Gojo on terms he wonāt for anyone else. And heās been pursuing this connection relentlessly since the start of manga.
Sukunaās Negative Rizz
Ok I established that reading the Sukuna vs Gojo fight as unhinged courtship is supported by the text. That doesnāt really say anything about Sukuna sucking at it.
But, my dear reader, that in of itself is proof of his negative rizz. I had to sit down. Learn about Heian era and Shinto wedding rituals, learn more Japanese, splice seemingly unrelated manga panels together, read hentai, and know that Gege is into yaoi to come to this conclusion. I had to rip every little shred of characterization and context apart and rearrange it into something comprehensible.
You know who canāt do that? Gojo.
As far as Gojo is concerned, Sukuna hates him. Kisama is an extremely hostile you pronoun in modern times. And if Gojo canāt tell Shoko (his closest friend after Geto) is stressed over him being used like a meat puppet by her visibly falling back on her addiction, heās going to default to the assumption Sukuna hates him just as much as everyone else.
And Gojo does just that. He assumes he failed to reach Sukuna. Despite how often they did hand to hand combat and weaponized their knowledge of each other, Gojo believes they never had proper conversation through fighting. He dies not understanding Sukuna, convinced the other was not trying to communicate with him at all.
And if you recall, all of this fight occurred while Sukuna was wearing Megumiās face. That boy is pretty much Gojoās adopted child. From my experience, most single parents do not go looking for clones of their kids as partners.
If someone wore the skin of my family member I would assume they were trying to torment me. And torment Gojo Sukuna does. He draws attention to Megumiās soul being used as collateral and attacks him with the 10 Shadows. We as the audience know this is all for the sake of getting past Infinity using his Shrine. Gojo doesnāt know that. Heās fighting an evil dude who is puppeting the body of his son for god knows what reason.
Seriously, Sukuna sucks at communicating intent.
In Part 3 of my examination of Sukunaās loneliness, I said Dismantle is a tool Sukuna uses to understand. And that him upgrading it by making Gojo the center of his world was indicative of his desire to reach him. I also said his refusal to use it on Yorozu was him expressing how little interest he had in her.
Yorozu is pissed by this. She sees it as Sukuna rejecting her and I donāt think sheās wrong. Sukuna saved his special Cursed Technique (CT) for Gojo while turning Yorozu down. If weāre considering all the wedding imagery and references that started with Yorozu, Iām certainly allowed to read that as him saving himself for Gojo. (Think of how he lied to Gojo about being the first one he killed.)
Thereās also the fact that Yorozu saw their battle as an expression love and lustāthat the usage of CT is a type of foreplay under certain circumstances since it is an extension of the self. Combine that with the established premise that fighting is a type of a communication thanks to Maki vs Sumo Guy and you can start to see the courtship logic behind Sukunaās treatment of Gojo.
If we are to read āThe one who will teach you love isā¦Sukunaā thereās another adorable caveat. Yorozu uses the you pronoun ććŖć (Anata) for Sukuna.
Itās an informal you pronoun used by people learning Japanese. Native speakers try to avoid using it as it can come across as rude. But in the context of love? This is colloquially called the wife pronoun as its often used by a wife to her husband.
If you wanted to localize its usage in the way Yorozu means it, Anata might become āyou, dearā. So here we have Sukuna dressed in white, like a bride to Gojoās groom, thinking of him as Anata.
The problem is, Gojo doesnāt know that. Sukuna never bothered to open his mouth and say this was an act of love. Sure he told Kashimo in the most roundabout way possible, but Gojo was the one who needed to hear that. If a courtship is going to be this diabolically complicated, there has to be clear hints for the other party. JJK is not Umineko where thereās a witch that can revive the dead over and over until the idiot finally understands this was all for them.
Gojo also doesnāt have access to the kanji Sukuna uses to describe certain techinques or words. He hears the phonetics and runs with whatever best fits the context. This means thereās no way for him to catch the double-meaning unless heās a certain type of lingust, which he is not. His manner of speech and personal interests donāt line up with the flowery language of the Heian Era. The types of written works Gojo is into are historical war politics from the Sengoku period (known for violence more than the fine arts), Shonen manga, and physics/math.
And what's this? According to CFYOW (the canon light novels): JJK Thorny Road at Dawn, Chapter 3 Asakusabashi Elegy, Gojo doesn't even like ancient poetry. You know, the thing Sukuna enjoys and tries to communicate with.
The Kokin Wakashu Gojo off-handedly disparages is a compilation of Hiean Era poetry known as Waka. This was the primary means of communication amongst the noble class and spiritual leaders at the time. And the thing is, this poetry is supposed to be read into. Down to the quality of stroke and paper, not just the kanji written. Especially for courtship.
Itās not that Gojo is stupid. He just doesnāt specialize in the studies that would give him a more critical ear to Sukuna's words. And Sukuna doesnāt seem to understand that no one in the modern era communicates like this anymore.
If you didnāt know, this is why Japanese characters introduce themselves they often describe what kanji their name is spelled with. Take for example: Satoru. He uses the kanji ę meaning enlightenment. This kanji can be read as Go instead of Satoru. Additionally, the name Satoru can be written in kanji as č” for smart, ęŗ for wisdom, ē„ for knowledge, äŗ for understanding, å² for philosophy, č for virtuous, or ę for daybreak. Thatās 8 different kanji possible if you hear the name Satoru.
This is why Sukunaās wordplay for everything else can be easily missed by other characters. They hear the words and cannot read the kanji like us. Context decides what Sukuna means for them. And since Sukunaās context for most is violence and insults, itās very hard for them to think about his words in any other way.
And boy howdy does Gojo miss it. Sukuna straight up calls him his husband and it took me several rereads to catch it. While mocking Gojo for being unable to open his domain, Sukuna calls him "painfully ordinary". This is localized from the word å”夫 (bonpu) which can also be translated as unenlightened. (A layered insult! Sukuna is pretty much saying Gojo's sorcery is so boring he shouldn't even call himself the Honored One.)
The thing is...Bonpu is comprised of the 2 kanji å” for mediocre, and 夫 for husband. (Please note that there are many other ways to call Gojo a ditz without using the kanji for husband.) And an update from the Replies: Turns out there's layers to the gayness too.
It's come full fudging circle. Gojo came dressed as a groom for a wedding and Sukuna thinks they're already married. The miscommunication is off the rails.
But wait! There's more...
Earlier I mentioned that the kanji for Enchain doubles as Megumi Activities. Let's break that down more. (Unfortunately the Twitter account of the person I referenced may or may not be nuked so here's this screenshot I've doctored.)
So we have the translation of Enchain from å„é (Keikatsu), which might be better localized as Separation.
This term comes from a Chinese poem about lovers who are husband and wife in The Book of Odes, Section I (Lessons from the States), Chapter 3 (The Odes of Bei), Poem 31 (Banging the Drum). (Here's a link to the full poem and context of it.)
In summary, itās about a soldier who is on the brink of death, having lost nearly everything after being abandoned by those in power, lamenting the happiest days of his life with his love are ones he can never get back. (Hey that sounds just like what Sukuna did to Yuji!)
Keikatsu specifically comes from this passage:
āOur vow is beyond death and lifeā, I and you are together I always remembered. I will hold your hand, And together we grow old.
Too pitiful we are faraway apart, The distance separates us to meet again! Too miserable this takes forever, And it does not let us fulfill our vow!
Keikatsu is used to exemplify how the physical distance between the husband and wife prevents them from fulfilling their wedding vows. And that's just what Keikatsu/Enchain does to Yuji and Megumi, it causes painful separation neither of them wanted.
Keikatsu also tells Yuji exactly how Sukuna plans to do it. å„(kei)é(katsu) can be written as ęµ(kei)ę“»(katsu). The kanji ęµ can be read as Kei or...Megumi. (It's the literal kanji used for his name.) The kanji ę“» (katsu) can mean "activities", which is how we get Enchain=Megumi Activities.
A two for one special! Sukuna mocks Yuji for being so close with Megumi while telling him exactly how he's going to destroy their relationship.
It seems this has nothing to do with Gojo until you consider the 3rd possible reading from wordplay with å„é (Keikatsu). The kanji å„ when read as Kei refers to a promise, pledge or vow. When å„ read as Chigi? It can refer to sexual intercourse, especially between husband and wife.
So we have å„é(keikatsu, separation), ęµ(kei Megumi)ę“»(katsu, activities), and å„(kei chigi, spousal sex)ę“»(katsu, activities). It's no wonder he erased Yuji's memory of it.
Keep in mind, that when Sukuna uses Keikatsu, the only vow that he has made at this point is his promise to kill Gojo. He eventually does that using Megumi's body during a fight framed between groom and bride. And for reasons beyond their control, Sukuna and Gojo have been unable to fulfill that vow through lengthy separation.
Notes from poem "Banging the Drum" Sukuna references include the following:
"And during the operation, he lost his horse, which was a desperate situation (horses in ancient time carried soldier supply and weapons, are life companion for soldiers in advance or retreat), he lost his horse, his supply, maybe his armor and weapons, and the road he was facing that we may lose his life so he may never go back. In all these mess, he started searching, and somehow at this hopeless moment he started to revisit his happiest moment, when he together vowed in marriage ceremony with his wife, and he was even afraid that he might never see his love again."
"And His last statement for his true value is his home, his love, his fulfillment of his vow is his true duty. Hero's duty is to pursue love."
In Buddhism, which JJK is heavily influenced by, horses are a pretty big deal. Horses can represent the path to enlightenment, especially since The Buddha's horse is what takes him on this journey away from his wife and children. They separate in the end though, the horse dying of a broken heart.
Remember how Sukuna called Gojo unenlightened? He sort of guided Gojo to enlightenment using Mahoraga, whose Eight-Handed title is a reference to the Eightfold Path to be followed for enlightenment. Buddhist enlightenment is centered around liberation from suffering. (Just check the wiki entry to verify this.) Infinity was the source of Gojo's suffering and Sukuna cut right through it.
Sukuna has been running around with a broken heart for a good chunk of the post-Gojo fight. And if you take that into consideration with this poem and all the other symbolism, he's somehow a Buddha, a Bodhisattva, the dying husband, the widowed wife, and the heartbroken horse all at the same time. Not unlike his wordplay taking on every possible meaning at once.
But my point here is that Sukuna mightāve seen his fight with Gojo as consummation of their marriage. (There's probably a joke in here about the husband reaching climax while leaving his wife unsatisfied.) Remember in the wise words of Itagaki Keisuke, "Fighting and sex are exactly the same!"
In Conclusion?
This is possibly one of the most bizarre and elaborate expressions of love I have lost my mind over. Sukuna gave everything Gojo ever wanted from Jujutsu violently. He did it in such an unpleasant and cruel way that the target of his affection thought there was nothing between them. Sukuna also hid his intent under social norms that no longer exist. Unless Gojo happened to be into ancient literature, there was never a scenario where he would catch onto this. Sukuna's failure is critical on multiple levels.
Itās impressive. It really is. No one knows how Sukunaās strange little brain works so heās stuck being loner without anyone that fully understands him. (Iām still thinking about how Uraume didnāt know Sukuna was a twin for over 1,000 years.) Heād have to let people in and tell him outright, but heās just like Gojo so I guess thatās never happening.
#cactus yaps#I need to have my weeaboo license revoked.#How on earth did I miss this?#GEGE WHAT DID YOU MEAN BY THIS.#Hi yes I will dress as a traditional groom on Dec 24th the most romantic day in Japan after someone else called the arrangement a date.#Is this even subtext at this point?#Why canāt these men use their got danged words instead of Umineko levels of psychological warfare.#Sukuna: ''Gojo is clearly driven by lust. How do I have s*x with him without actually having s*x?#Fighting and death are basically the same thing as s*x so Iāll do that and hopefully he sees that I love him.''#Gojo to Geto: ''Sukuna gave me the best *rgasm I've had in years. I think he hates me.''#Geto: ''Huh.''#Absolutely fascinated by girlfailures Sukuna and Geto horribly fumbling Gojo in completely different ways.#I want them to fight over him in the most passive aggressive way possible.#Gojo was meant to be a romcom harem protagonist.#Though Sukuna should be way more ok with poly given Heian rules on relationships.#But you know Geto was also ok that someone else was able to make Gojo feel good.#I like that prioritization of his pleasure. Even if it came a little too late.#Much to think about.#Consider this my Sukugo manifesto part 2.#Update 8/14/24: One of these days I'm just going to have to make a new post.#Update Cont: Sukuna calling Gojo his mid unenlightened husband wife spouse all at once using two kanji is truly insane.#Update 8/19/2024: All according to Keikatsu.#sukugo#ryomen sukuna#gojo satoru#jjk spoilers#jujutsu kaisen#lemons
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trick or treat :3
~~~ happeyyy hollerween!!!! ~~~
#my art#art#mspaint#rowens liddol guys#sent : 10-4-2023#made : 10-4-2024#yes this took a year 2 answer#exactley a yr even#i didnt do that on purpoze#also tysm 4 drawinhgn smthn 4 me even tho i didnt ansr it 4 a rllyrlly long time#i do look at everything in my asks that sends me art & i try to answer all of them eventually#rowencatfanart#people who waited a year or more to get an ask answered#response or die / trick or treat
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i really do admire how lando tries to not give a fuck (that 'whatever' really saddened me so much) but he actually does, and a lot.
guy doesn't even want anything absurd, he just wants the support of his team for the last fucking 4 races but no... let's just get humiliated for one point on international tvš.
they're really stretching him thin ā and i mean it in a emotional and mental wellbeing way. he is obviously inherently selfless and quite literally does not hold self-esteem, but in the last year we've seen him trying to be more sure of himself and trying to be selfish for once. the moment he does that though, he gets accused of being the spawn of satan. and then the team does everything in the world to make it harder for him.
so i really do admire him, because i literally would PERSONALLY leave the sport after this one season.
he's so much stronger than i am.
#im not saying he's not fit for the sport#but like his very dear friend carlos#it feels like he not only keeps his heart on his sleeve#but he also gives it away so freely in a sport full of rabid dogs that want some fresh meat#and he gets really hurt in the process#i relate to him so much bc of this#im not joking when i say his 'friendship' with max is nearing the end#and the team is not even mean they just don't get that when they have championships on the line YOU UNFORTUNATELY HAVE TO PLAY FAVORITES#we got lesser teams doing it from the getgo when they have no reason toš#and suddenly mclaren doesn't know how?#is it really that hard??#landino#lando norris#brazil gp 2024#rambling#it all started from hungary btw they really set the mood there and its been... foul#it's not even oscar's fault#he is a competitive teammate#he has every right to race#does lando really have anyone atp?#and yes yes i know they're rich billionaires they get paid for this#still doesn't mean they're insensible or immune to feeling betrayed or deceived or just sad bc they trusted someone#and he's a scorpio too so im SHOCKED about how he handles this#ALSO HE GIVES TOO MANY FUCKS#and he rightfully doesn't even give the blame to anyone but himself most of the times when i'd argue that it almost never is#your team is supposed to be your backbone in your first actual fight for the championship... and even after all the years of constant work#and points he brought#not even when finally the car is competitive they can actually do their job and support their driver that is the top contender?
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a brief summary of Mystic Messenger (OG edition) x
#mystic messenger#saeyoung choi#jumin han#jaehee kang#hyun ryu#yoosung kim#look what i found in my drafts from yesteryear#i don't have photoshop on this computer atm so unfortunately i couldn't add my take on our AS boys#but feel free to add your own#what would their overly-simplified summaries even be?#cheritz really stepped up their game in creating characters with poor coping mechanisms there#i included the template above for inquiring minds#and yes it is from zoey 101#i guess you could say this post itself.. is mysme 101#707#jumin#jaehee#zen#yoosung#mine#**#idk why i'm even posting this in the year 2024 lol#i guess why not since past me made it?#for some reason#what was going on in her head at the time when she was doing this instead of studying is beyond me#oh well#my blog became a dumping ground long ago#the last pic with us as the mc makes me think some things never change tbh
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Cesare being "handsome" and "cute" and all is nice, but what about like,,,, Cesare who's as gross as inhumanely possible? I want a Cesare who smells like he's rotting all the time, but especially when its hot out, so he hangs those little scent trees from the roof of the Zomburger truck hoping no one will notice. Give me a Cesare who has to stuff his guts back in and manually sew/staple the wound on his abdomen closed whenever he fights too hard or turns the wrong way in his sleep or stretches his arms too quickly over his head. Give me Cesare who's rail thin but who's stomach has a swell because of how full of maggots it is. Give me a Cesare who's teeth and fingernails and clumps of hair fall out all over the place and who has to cover for himself in a panic and try to get them back if anyone finds them. Give me a Cesare who blacks out when he's low on energy, only to wake up somewhere in the woods covered in grave dirt and cold viscera, hastily jumping in a creek somewhere in order to clean up jn order to be presentable for work on time. Cesare being pretty and fishy is cute or whatever butā¦. Gross Cesare is MY thing! That's what *I* want!
#bigtop burger#btb cesare#Can you be a Babygirl and a Nasty Boy at the same time?#I say YES!#A resounding yes!#Let Cesare Be Gross 2024#I have made it my new years resolution (even though February is half over) to make gross Cesare happen#ITS GOING TO HAPPEN
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What is with the practically psychotic hate for Lance Stroll? I'm not even his fan- more indifferent- but the hate he gets is sickening. Like just see the recent 'Never have I ever' vid- so many top comments on youtube, instagram etc. are just spouting shit about him (attacking his looks, calling him window licker wtf etc.) based off the 'Never have I ever stood up someone question' (and of course they conveniently ignore all the other drivers that also said they have because it's trendy to hate on Stroll).
Of course, standing up someone sucks but first of all we have no context at all, and more importantly, it's clear the commenters don't actl give a shit about that because they're only hating on Stroll. This is literally just one instance of the way these F1 'fans' are so quick to seize any opportunity to put down Lance. Honestly, it's so off-putting, pathetic and sad.
#he's not even one of my faves but the hate in the f1 fanbase for this 25 year old is crazy#don't give me the 'his daddy bought the team!! he's so shitty!!'#he may not be the best driver but he's still a good driver#he got a podium in his rookie year for goodness sake#also one of the youngest polesitter#yes he was blessed with a rich family but god forbid a father loves his child and would do anything for him#he's usually good in the wet/mixed conditions too#but if you listened to ppl on social media you would think lance can't even walk in a straight line#im so done lol the f1 fanbase is so toxic#esp those on twitter/insta#honestly I doubt those type of 'fans' actl watch the races#they just do monkey see monkey do#and hate on a fucking mid-20s dude š#their lives must be incredibly sad to waste time spreading hate like that#lance stroll#f1 2024#honestly this isn't even about the never have I ever vid#it's more about the general and practically fervent hate ppl have for lance#which is so overboard#lance puts in the effort everyday but these ppl will have you believe he sits arnd throwing moneg everyday#this is the man who drove despite his hand injury last year for goodness' sake#the way some ppl talk about him will have you thinking he murdered their family#also he's just thr to drive??? idk why ppl go all up in arms to hate on everything he does from his looks to how he talks...#and in general the hate various drivers get is so weird#*money#<- too lazy to edit my tags lol
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western massachusetts sacred harp convention, 2023 vs 2024
#photo credits: @/loreleierisis (2023) and @/caroclamanda (2024). both on instagram#i feel like you can really see the difference a year made in my confidence w leading!#last year i stood next to my friend while he essentially led the song for me#this year i not only did it āØļøall by myselfāØļø but i even was able to do bonus stuff like turn and make eyecontact w ppl :)#(also yes i masked this year too; i took it off while leading so ppl could see my mouth but its in my hand + i put it back on after)#dave's face#sacred harp#shapenote
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By the way as soon as I knew it would be āØrainingāØ the whole weekend I knew Max would win this.
#yes the FIA tried their hardest to stop him#yes i believed he could do it even after qualifying#but boy the way he did it was just#like GP said: WOW#hell i even rooted FOR him in his direct battle with Charles#which was the sexiest thing to happen yesterday#anyways#MAX VERSTAPPEN 2024 WDC#with this drive he showed everyone why he will be a 4 time wdc by the end of the year#max verstappen#f1#formula 1
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congratulations to Mme. Pascale Leclerc, who has surely just experienced both the funniest and most unhinged weekend a mother could ever have. Dear fucking christ, I hope your middlest son brought you a bottle of champagne for yourself, ma'am.
#kazoo noises#charles leclerc#cl16#monaco gp 2024#zoomies posting#sports posting#like man. where to begin. one of your racecar children is back in town for the weekend. he has yet to have a truly good work#weekend it seems in town. now this year. we're feeling ourselves a bit. we're feeling optimistic even. and then ur son becomes talk of town#because he keeps doing fucking bits on twitter about adopting his coworker who is friends with your youngest son. this goes on long enough#for actual reporters to comment on it. no one is willing to blink first so by friday night we've yes-anded ourselves to a grandson#(congratulations mme leclerc)#things go well. and then at qualifying they go DAMN WELL#BETTER THAN EVER REALLY! but man. im superstitious. i dont trust shit until its over and the dust has cleared#(the adoption jokes have continued by the way) and MEANWHILE everyone is eyeing that starting grid. were humming. we're making vague hand#gestures when commenting. we're all thinking. Maybe? (the streets can hear u tho. keep it down)#race starts. lap one CHAOS. so many fucking crashes. i'd faint if i had a child even in karting honestly.#(every parent in this sport deserves a prescription for laudanum)#but he's not in it. hes at the front. and he. well. he just Stays There. Through It All. and the laps tick down. until the race is run. and#there he is. your middlest son. cross the line and into the books. first place. home town. what curse indeed. thats your boy!!!!!!!! THERE!#they play the radio of him winning and the audio is peaked because he screams out so loudly. you can hear the water in the laughter.#later theres gonna be videos and photos taken of him pushing his boss into the harbor and diving right in after the man. those photos are#gonna be fucking studied in photography classes one day. and STILL! everyone involved with that goofy joke about him adopting his coworker#(who. despite all the silliness of the race stayed second place and got a podium) is still carrying the bit like a baton relay. Do you have#him over for family dinner? might as well add a plate i guess! people are joking about your youngest son having two nephews? a dog born#maybe a month ago and a man born about... what twenty three years and about a month ago? fuck it! family dinner#sorry this bit got away from me but as someone who loves my homecity and my mom so much it might actually be like.#a visible growth inside my body if they do an autopsy on me at time of death or like. my love will eat me alive. sometimes the charratives#gets to me#anyway cheers mme leclerc i hope you party so fucking hard this week
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The yearly phenomenon where u get the first rays of sunshine and ppl (me included) act like itās summer even tho itās still just +1 degrees out; all I can think abt is making an icey coffee treat and I saw a person casually walking outside in shorts
#also im corny so my favorite āājokeāā is that āhmm what a weird light phenomenom weāve got outside have u seen this shit??ā#itās not even slightly funny bc overused to death#I think Iām going to make an iced americano and go for a walk and listen to hozier bc oh duuude thatās the best#and wear the leather jacket !! and sunglasses!!! (im abt to feel the coolest Iāve felt in months; winter clothes make me feel like#iām abt 12-years-old for some reason)#I should study yes but walk first now that thereās sun that will never not help with things#march 2024#2024
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in other news greece officially legalised same sex marriage and adoption a bit earlier tonight š
#iāve been crying for half an hour now and i donāt even plan on getting married#but a win for the gays is always a win šššš#yes. even in the year 2024 š„²#this is emma speaking
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but the world as she knows no longer exists. digimon survive week 2024 day 1: a new world thoughts under cut. spoilers alert. if you haven't completed the game, proceed at your own risk. you have been warned.
i feel so much for miyuki. the girl who got lost and forgotten. even the best possible ending offered in the game leaves many questions as open possibilities. how is she going to live her life now? how will she deal with living in a new world where it's nothing like the one she used to live in? pretty sure nearly all of the people she knew are no longer alive. her younger brother is now an elderly. this is why digimon survive deserves a sequel. i need to know all that lol. here is my personal headcanon / wish, though: exploring how miyuki, at the core, struggles with everything, including accepting the current reality she is in. despite starting to get used to living in the modern world, she can never, for one, imagine her younger brother dying before her. haru, her only family whom she likely can't even communicate properly with in public without people turning heads and wondering why the old man calls the young girl "big sis". that's probably when something can happen involving takuma co. as they themselves try/struggle to integrate their kemonogami partners into daily life, where it could ultimately end with miyuki getting to "catch up" or get turned into the age and appearance she is supposed to be (i'm delusional) if someone already explored and/or wrote a fic about it, please link it to me... if you who are reading this plans to write about it, please tag me when you finish it... i'm more desperate than i look haha š
#digimon survive#miyuki minase#survive week#survive week 2024#full disclosure i am behind with posts despite having planned to finish everything before the week starts lfjaslfjd#so i cannot promise to post for every day but i most definitely will try. wish me luck#also yes i gave miyuki a new dress. it's actually the same dress i drew her with for last year's day 7 (have fun scrolling back lol)#i swear drawing her reminds me she is like alice of alice in wonderland with lowkey tragic ending if you think about it#elements of her story also reminds me of my oc and the story i have been planning even before survive is a thing...#but uhh that's a story for another time#i probably can make it a tradition to make day 1 post of every survive week guaranteed angst atp#png
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Niklas Behrens - U23 Men's Road World Champion 2024 š
#hello and welcome to my propaganda#niklas behrens#won the world championships U23 race yesterday#i'm usually not very patriotic but was so happy to see him win#the name didn't even ring a bell but i was like#wait i remember seeing you before#and yes! on the podium of the german nationals this year#and if you see what i see... there's a certain resemblance with a dutch rider iynwim#niklas won or podiumed a couple impressive races this year e.g. euro champs#he's u23 german national champ#please stay in u23 for another year so you get to show off the beautiful rainbows! š#to end this on a total random note:#boy went on a cruise in 2022 and i (a cruise lover) always wondered if pros would ever do this sort of vacation#thanks for answering this burning question niklas šš#world championships 2024#cycling
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last poems of 2023, both holiday gifts meant for the same friend.
#spilled ink#poetry#poets on tumblr#poem#writeblr#2023#i'm quite. quite drunk. but#looking back on 2023...actually the past few years have all been quite extreme emotionally speaking#but i am so glad. so glad. it killed neither my compulsion for writing#nor my love for my friends#my love in generaly rlly#so so so glad.#may 2024 treat me kindly. may it fan my love and only my love with no new griefs. may i be full of sap. may i write and write with ease.#i want to play more with language and form...yes even more than i have been throughout 22/23...more more more always more#and i especially want to go back to erasures this year i miss erasures so much. and found elements in general ahh#anyway. i'll. stop rambling ahhghj see you all tomorrow whn i'm sober and i've edited tonite's midnight drafts to smth that's presentable#love n grace x
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the carmilla webseries (particularly s3) makes some really interesting points about amatonormativity that i think are probably accidental but still fascinate me.
like there's this intended theme of like, being so devoted to one person that you put them above everyone else, and the harms that can cause. and that theme is primarily explored through laura and carmilla's relationship, especially as a foil to the dean and her beloved. but also with lafontaine and how they kinda subvert that.
(i could write essays analyzing this, tbh)
anyway. the show primarily explores the themes of putting one person above everyone else through the lens of romantic relationships, because that's just kind of the genre they're operating under. but that (again, probably unintentionally) brings up a theme of amatonormativity. because amatonormativity expects you to have one romantic partner and to put them above everyone else, to unquestionably value them more than any of your friends.
anyway, with that background out of the way, what i'm really thinking about currently is danny in s3
there's that scene early on in the season, when danny's all evil vampire mode. and laura says that her and carmilla are "just friends". and danny threatens laura in front of carmilla and is like "surely you wouldn't mind me hurting her/would be willing to let her die to keep the talisman, if you two really are just friends"
and like, while danny is correct in her observation that laura and carmilla's feelings about each kther are clearly not platonic, her logic is absolute garbage. me and the friend i was rewatching it with were both like "??? no i absolutely WOULD still mind if someone threatened my purely platonic friend like that, you'd be a pretty garbage friend to not care". like, danny's logic in that scene is peak amatonormative nonsense.
but then. at the end of the season. it's danny's *platonic* love for kirsch that ends up connecting her back to her humanity. it's kirsch that she finally breaks free of the dean's influence to protect. kirsch that she's willing to risk it all for.
it wasn't laura, the girl she had a crush on. it was kirsch, who she had a whole thing about in the previous season about how she explicitly did NOT have any romantic towards him and 100% solely saw him as a platonic friend. it was her "just a friend" who ultimately ended up meaning everything for her.
#eliot posts#amatonormativity#carmilla#carmilla webseries#danny lawrence#wilson kirsch#i love this sapphic and her pet himbo#that 'yes!!! i am in the friend zone! we're friends!!!' scene in s2 is eternally Delightful to me#also there's so much potential in like#taking the ''golden retriever'' character archetype (as in someone exciteable and friendly)#and making them be loyal and obedient to one person possibly even to the point of self destruction. just like a dog#like this show generally played that aspect of him as a joke. but the potential of that being used in a different story...#this fandom is dead as hell in the year 2024 and yet. my brain has decided to fixate on this silly webseries from when i was 15#also i feel like this is generally not a piece of media that ppl would write meta about. but that does not stop me.
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