#i guess why not since past me made it?
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a brief summary of Mystic Messenger (OG edition) x
#mystic messenger#saeyoung choi#jumin han#jaehee kang#hyun ryu#yoosung kim#look what i found in my drafts from yesteryear#i don't have photoshop on this computer atm so unfortunately i couldn't add my take on our AS boys#but feel free to add your own#what would their overly-simplified summaries even be?#cheritz really stepped up their game in creating characters with poor coping mechanisms there#i included the template above for inquiring minds#and yes it is from zoey 101#i guess you could say this post itself.. is mysme 101#707#jumin#jaehee#zen#yoosung#mine#**#idk why i'm even posting this in the year 2024 lol#i guess why not since past me made it?#for some reason#what was going on in her head at the time when she was doing this instead of studying is beyond me#oh well#my blog became a dumping ground long ago#the last pic with us as the mc makes me think some things never change tbh
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I just shared the first bit of fiction that the main character from The Token Human appeared in with the $10+ patrons. Hard to believe that I wrote it eleven years ago! Of course I had no idea it would go anywhere, much less to a novel with a sequel in progress, and an endless series of short stories that shows no signs of stopping.
High five to my past self for scribbling down something worth playing with a bit more. And a bit more. And maybe some more...
#writer life#The Token Human#Robin Bennett#I chose the first name because I didn't know which gender I wanted to use at first#a couple story snippets in I decided 'eh why not just make her tall with a long braid like me -- that's easy to write.'#I've never intentionally made a self-insert character#on purpose#though I kiiiinda did on accident here#since it was just easier to use some of my own traits than to think up a proper new character from scratch#lol hey past self guess how that turned out#pretty well actually#oh also the last name came from two places at once: the Bennett twins from Steam Powered Giraffe and Shazzbaa Bennett the artist#both big influences at the time#a name choice I stand behind#now you know
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not canon but this sure is making me consider giving charlie more tattoos. unfortunately i think my hand would die if i had to draw all of these
#superhero oc#human oc#oc art#tattoos#punk#charlie grimms#stanley does art#um uhh ummm forgetting everything i was gonna say abt this#oh just that he technically only has four-ish tattoos and him never getting any more is like. weird#and i made up some shaky reasoning for why he wouldnt get more which was really an excuse for me to not have to draw them#ssssssssso kinda contemplating it but i also dont want it to make him harder for OTHER people to draw#since like for me i know i can just template out most of them and paste them onto him#i do really like the barbed wire one it's very punk of him and a bit western#and the mountains are fun i like the wraparound river#i guess he just. somehow. is a guy who likes tattoos that are 1. big 2. colorful 3. in awkward spots that always wrap around
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Being an introvert that everyone thinks is an extrovert is sure... something
#its tiring is what it is#at some point people seemed to take it as 'quiet person who is socially awkward' but i can be very friendly bubbly etc etc#so theyre like oh youre so extroverted!! like no. i really need to go be by myself now or im gonna freak out lmao#i always feel like no one has a clear image of me tho bc people have always thought i was super confident#bc idk ? im loud sometimes more in the past than now and idk i crack jokes ?? but like no i have horrendous body issues and bad self esteem#literally since i can remember. genuinely going back to when i was like 5 so again its just very ?? whenever people say shit to me about me#like my cousins bestie who i have known since i was like 6 said i was such a joyous happy person#and truly it made me so confused bc i am truly not but idk guess to her i am so 🤷♀️#this is why i spend so much time alone now#its not totally an act sometimes i am that happy and fun but it is sometimes a mask that i have just been doing for 20 yrs so im good at it
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the sinus headaches are already not great but Extra Shit has been added to the pile and im just sat on that right now trying to figure out what the fuck to do
#ive uh not processed it yet and it also wont really shake out for a little while now i guess but .. yeah#long story short my friends who ive been A Trio with since we were 11 might be done with each other#theres a LOT of additional factors but theyre splitting a house share so one can go live with a boyfriend#and in the process it sounds like theyve made a lot of selfish choices for some unknown reason#ngl theyve pissed me off a little bit for being so weird and reclusive since theyve had the boyfriend as well but only with us#its ... yeah i dont know what alls happened because i dont live with them#but i just cant fathom how they got to this point quibbling over the contents of their shared house of 5 years#over a boyfriend whos been around for 2 or 3 years ..... to ruin a friendship of 18 years ????#again i dont know the whole story but i trust what the friend whos still good at talking to us to not lie about them being screwed around#i just dont get it at all how to reconcile what ive been told with who ive known over half my life#theyve felt off .. or wrong for a while now tbh ... i miss them#i havent seen the other one since before may ...#the thought that mightve been the last time we all hang out is kind of killling me inside lol#and it was also pretty weird and stilted again because it was very boyfriend-centric#this always happens to me lol ive lost count of all my school friend groups who end up basically fighting over me after they fall out#its a MAJOR trauma point for me and i thought we kind of grew past that but i guess i was wrong#ive been catching myself with a weepy eye or a single sob all day#i dont know what to do i wanna know what the fuck happened and what was worth doing this for#i wanna confront everyone and ask for a fucking explanation as to why my single life solid bedrock is falling apart#i mostly wanna dig a hole and die in it ... im fine im safe but im bothered by like ...#what a total fool ill look like if i just melt down at work ... i might find the mental health first aiders list and write an email lol#im like not okay cksbdkssj fucking hell#i have some hope but its ... its hard out here#i need to go to bed fuck#id dont neeeeed thiiiiisss im gonna choke on life agaaaiiinnn#the battle to keep my shit together enough to at least not self-sabotage ??? its testing my patience#rory's ramblings
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#hhhhhh reread the flashback chapter i wrote w d/dirk and just hooh boy i love it so much ugh#im tempted to post it on its own but i want to save that bomb of a scene for the middle of the larger fic its in#just ughhhhhhh i love everything about how i wrote d#im going nuts bc i have been working on it since like december? ish? but the past couple months have been hell for me personally#fuck like i remember going thru an entire calendar of movie release dates for that historical year and found the perfect spot#to where it accounts for historical events and events in canon and has its own special date and how the release of the movie...#...effects how d managed to make it a success and just#fuck man i researched the hell out of that and only had to put one anachronism to grease a moment in it#like#this fic is so big for me and i am so scared that i wont finish it bc i have so many things planned out for it and so many ...#...annotations i keep adding to modify things i wrote earlier in it (which is why im not publishing any of it yet)#i want to share it w the world so fucking badly but i keep getting amazing ideas to weave in from an earlier point i already wrote#cries lol#ughhh this is why im so tempted to post the flashback as a standalone chapter/separate posting#but#i wrote it to match a scene from both the previous and next chapter so i dont wanna ruin that either#fucking writers block man ahhhh wish my life wasnt shit rn bc i need to finish it#tag edit: i used the wrong spelling of affects earlier lol#but yeah ughhhh so frustrated w life rn i have such bigger problems going on rn but#rereading my fave chapter kinda just made my day at least lmao#personal#vent#kinda i guess#delete later / /#maybe idk lol#ShitPost.exe#like this wip is over 33k words and its probably not even halfway done in terms of event points i want to happen in it lmao fml#all bc i wanted to make one punchline happen which happened a long time ago before i wanted to write all that backstory into the fic
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hi
#i came across his old ref and turns out the clothes i have envisioned for him here are the same as in the old ref. classic#these past days ive just been staring at that concept ref i posted earlier bc i wanna Have His Ref Drawn but i dont wanna draw his ref. eug#i also kinda funnily enough.. hm how do i explain this#im happy with how i made him meaty n stuff as a literal fur coat and id love to render/paint those parts so much#but hes more on the human part of the anthro spectrum and doesnt really.. not wear clothes usually.#best i can imagine is him wearing just bottom half clothing but i associate that with those stereotypical hyper muscular men that i hate#i guess its gonna be more of a 'he looks like this underneath. super cool eh? he just doesnt show it :)' kinda thing#since he has kind of a more serious personality.. in my mind him without clothes looks silly. wyd my guy#maybe ill ask him to crack my head open and figure out why i manage to come up with these annoying details. yes thatll do#besides the design i dont really know how to flesh him out. genuinely. no pun intended#the only things i know for certain is that he's daron's dad and he's a slasher guy. thats it#its tied to me struggling with what direction i wanna take the custom species with biology and psychology. its so complicated#wips
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been getting back into mother 3 after All That and every time i see the sunflower field im like. whoa. that's so neat. i am Not overthinking it !
#i am just making this post to ramble about the sunflower thing again kjfhdg#it's almost been a whole year. i was in the middle of replaying mother 3 last june#i was at the sunflower field scene and decided to stop playing for the night#and that is the same night ''so long nerds'' was uploaded#not to be dramatic or cliche or whatever but. feels very ''on purpose'' ya know#destiny or whatever#the game was a huuuuuuge turning point for me in coping with life and death which i was. Very Bad at before!#and im sure you can tell i still am *(@&*(&*%(&^*#i havent been able to touch the game since but im getting better at it. been watching some videos n stuff about it#i still havent picked it back up tho. idk if i can sit through that cutscene again#i already kinda associated techno with sunflowers bc of the whole rising sun stuff. the staff being a sunflower#but the fact that i was in the middle of that part of mother 3 made that association so much worse#now they're just like. the death object for me. remembrance flowers. idk actual flower meanings but that's what they are to me now#idk if anyone remembers this post but like a week or two after his death my aunt tried growing a sunflower#it was unrelated to me and that whole thing. just another coincidence#she passed this week. so the sunflowers are really back on my mind rn#that's why i turned off the inbox was bc i really didnt know what to do after that#her whole side of the family died this past year#i hate to vent or whatever but i feel like if i dont mention it i'll explode so i've buried this under many other tags#congrats if you read this far i just wanted to have that out there i guess bc i've talked about her a lot#the cats are fine if you remember them. orangey has a home and my uncle is watching thomas#grief#grief cw#i dont remember what ppl tag that as#chat#i'll probably delete this later but im also gonna reblog all the cats n stuff again bc i just want ppl to see them
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much to think about.
#i had lunch w my sister today and she was talking abt our dad and abt how him being like emotionally abusive made her a huge people pleaser#and she was like yeah i think you didnt get that as much#you were always the one who stuck to your guns or just didnt talk to him#and at first i was like what bc i literally dont think anything i ever did could be rlly described as actually sticking to ones guns i alwa#felt like i was so avoidant of any conflict w him bc yk i was like. terrified of him. but i was thinking abt it and compared to her i think#like yeah actually shes right? bc i would avoid conflict w him but i did that by like fully cutting off our relationship as much as#possible and she did it by trying to please him all the time. which probably neither were that healthy obviously they were jsut like. our#instincts for how to protect ourselves yk. but the thing is for the past few months i thought i had been learning how to not be so scared#of making ppl mad and to be more assertive and stuff. but i think actually i probably have always had that strength maybe it was just.#kinda beaten down for a while since standing up for myself always made things worse. so the other option to not allow him to treat me like#that was to cut myself off from him. But i still did that yk? idk.#like i was thinking more abt it and#i was the one who left the church at 18. after i moved out but i did. and i didnt hide it after that. my sister has apparently been mentall#out for years now and nobody in our family knows but me. bc she is so scared to disappoint him. and like idk. i always was like why couldnt#i get out earlier bc i know so many ppl who just said fuck you im not going anymore at like 14 or smth and i was like why couldnt i do that#but i guess looking at it from my sisters pov our situation was just really fucking hard. and i guess im realizing i was honestly a lot#stronger and braver than i thought i was that whole time. idk.#lol its like bittersweet. bc it makes it so much more real that it was actually super fucked up. the way we grew up. like i think sometimes#the easiest thing is for me to go haha yeah my dad was kind of a dick and whooaaahhh so crazy i grew up mormon hahah! but its like no that#was fucked up. but look at how i made it through that yk. its kind of making me. idk. develop some more respect for myself i guess#idk idk#ignore me i am just journal posting . lol#exmo tag
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hah... thinking about a few years ago when "thigh gaps" came up in conversation and my mom asked "whats a thigh gap?" and my brother drunkenly said "something that (insert my name here) doesnt have" as a way of calling me fat. its stupid the amount of things that still echo in my head to this day, i have a pretty bad memory yet i have to remember this kinda stuff?
#i feel like it made me more hyper aware of my thigh area. ive always hated my thighs most of all but i never really had thought--#about specifically needing to have a thigh gap in order to not be made fun of. but i certainly did after that comment#i mean i grew up being called a whale and thunder thighs and whatever else but itd been a while since id been teased about my body#meanwhile i never really spoke about my brothers body in any way. its not my business so why is my body yours?#bad mental health day today maybe. just kinda stuck. tomorrow will be better just gotta get past today#i guess i write this to remind people that words are indeed impactful. for some ppl more than others but still. try to be nice if u can
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I have obtained a new oc and in the process I've already signed myself up for needing to make at least 3 new ocs for his story which he now has despite me initially Intending for him to be a side character for a different side character to hang out with. My townhouse has over 200 characters on it.
#rat rambles#oc posting#he doesn't have an official name yet but he is my silly billy and I love him#also take every him with an asterisk again he's like super new (I just got him today)#although several elements of his story so far have been things Ive been wanting to do for a while so thats a part of why I have so many#ideas for him already since its some stuff I've been wanting to play around with for a while#the real reason he has a chokehold on me rn is that I tripped and made him my 500 thousanth character with identity issues#I <3 characters with a fucked up relationship with their sense of self and what it even means to be themself#oh hes also a magic cat world character because thats what like 90% of my ocs are from at this point lol#and another goop related guy but this time not directly related to every other goop guy#he doesnt interact with any of them or even know most of them exist#long story short hes a robot who used to not be a robot but remembers nothing abt his life before he turned himself into a robot#all he has as reference is a mostly ruined journal his past self kept that is almost entirely unreadable due to it getting soaked in goop#he knows that this was self inflicted and his approximate age but that's abt it in terms of useful information#early story is mostly just him traveling alone trying to see if anyone nearby knows who he is but after going through like 5 or so towns he#starts to get more worried and upset about the whole situation and starts trying to look into some different missing person reports in#hopes that he can find one of himself#he runs out of the savings he had on him pretty quickly though so he had to figure out how to stay afloat while doing his research#'luckily' he meets a man while looking into one case he found who was willing to let him stick around at his place while looking into it#this guy had some investment in these dissapearances because he suspected that they related to his father and hoped to find any sort of#window in what he was up to since he hadnt seen him since he ran away at around 17#spoilers his dad is cake this is still connected to cake nonsense because everything in this world fucking does but the main boy himself#actually has no ties to cake or his activities so thats smth at least#but yeah long story short things get. real bad for my boy after the first few months of staying at this guy's place.#yknow how risa in the future was often used as a weapon of war using some unstable chemicals? yeah guess where that started.#mr daddy issue haver over here may understand that his dad is a bad person but evidently that doesnt stop him from being not much better#currently Im planning on having main boy escape eventually and get stuck in the non magic world where he meets april but that could change#it depends on if I want him to interact with the other stories going on at all or not#I probably wont but I would like to leave myself some wiggle room to let him meet more side characters#like (looks with big sad wet eyes) ginger maybe? please? please april? let me see your sister? that you havent seen in years? please?
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life update no one asked for: worked 300 hours in a month, started my junior year of college, started therapy, realized i hate my major, and i am subsequently changing my major
#made the therapy appointment before i realized i hate my major#so those arent linear but dont even worry that will be HEAVILY discussed in my therapy appointments#kinda worried i’m genuinely going through a midlife (mid college?) crisis and i’m gonna regret that tho#which i dont think i will??? bc my new major is literally my minor and i like it so mich better??? like i think it will be fine????#idk but i also havent felt an emotion that hasn’t jad to do with formula 1 since like. monday april 8th so like. dunno what thats about#like i’m not saying i haven’t felt any emotions since then. but also i’m not saying i have#like i think if i were to break it down the effects that sunday april 7th had on me may have been terminal#crazy shit considering it was stupid as fuck#anyway.#my therapist is gonna jave a grand ole time unpacking all lf my shit#gonna go in talking about all of the stuff that has happened in the past few weeks#and then be like ‘oh btw my parents are also dead and i have no family and it’s like highkey just me but that’s also why i am the way i am’#poor person’s gonna hate their life everytime they see me#intake appointment next wednesday (on my mothers birthday lol) is about to go insane#anyway. y’all actually dont need to know any of this about me but here’s some lore i guess#be back on sunday when oscar piastri wins the 2024 italian monza grand prix#lacey talks
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So I've calmed down. After today's events I find myself even more vindicated in my hatred for my family, but that's neither here nor there. I'm not trying to vent so often on this blog (feels too oversharey), so instead I'll let y'all know that my birthday is in two weeks! Specifically the 24th. So that's cool.
#unma rambles#ignore the tags below I was only going to mention the uni stuff and then things just kinda started rolling out and now it feels like a-#waste to delete them#I'll be heading to uni on the 22nd for orientation on the 23rd though#so that's another year in a row of depressing shit happening around my birthday#at least this time it's something somewhat good (uni) and not my dad shipping me off to a camp I insisted I didn't want to go to#to the point that he forcibly packed my things and made it so I couldn't go back home otherwise that Sunday#which I still haven't forgiven him for#(man every time I think about them I remember something that makes me hate my parents. funny how that works.#It's almost like there's nothing good to remember)#fyi the uni is a christian university that requires attending service for credits which is why I'm not happy#reminder: I'm agnostic but was raised christian in a christian family#and an acquaintance from church is also going to that uni. and attending the same course#which isn't the end of the world but I can't help but feel bummed out#because I just know someone's gonna use her to see how I'm doing since I never answer phone calls#wow I said I wouldn't vent but here I am#tbf my reaction to this is more disappointment and mild annoyance than the depressive spirals I used to deal with#so I guess that means I'm improving#or that it's not big enough of a problem for it to trigger that#oh well#all of this means I'm not exactly looking forward to my birthday but I've never looked forward to one since I was 10#so that's just typical at this point#hm come to think of it the camp thing isn't the only thing that happened near my birthday and resulted in depressive spirals huh#kinda sounds to me like my birthdays have just sucked#at best they were meh and at worst they sucked to the point I look forward to one where nothing happens at this point#that happened once#my birthday had nothing done for it because of reasons (I don't blame my parents for this they had valid reasons to do so)#and I just forgot about it#the tags of my post that was supposed to be about my birthday was not where I expected to unpack my shitty experiences with past birthdays#but here I am I guess
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21/6/24
❊✺❂✺❊
Had alot of fun drawing
Yuru camp
#happiness diary#happiness diary: june 2024#was real tired for the past few days cus i ran out of my antihistamines so i had to use the shop bought ones#and they always make me a zombie#still kinda getting over the tired cus the ones i use make me tired when i first start taking them but im more uh aware i guess now#also guess who got bad results from her biopsy and needs to get another one :)#third time my skin has tried to kill me and third time ive caught it before it can do anything#so its not as bad as it could have been#but still not great to hear yeah your skin was trying to kill you and we need to chop your arm again#also never fun to have the doctor say well talk more in the cancer appointment (cant remember what its actually called)#dunno why theyre calling it a cancer appointment thing when its precancer#like we stopped it so its not a cancer appointment#maybe i just dont like it#it was funny though cus the doctor on the phone was like have you had any other moles change#and i just was like its been only a couple weeks since you last saw me i dint think so#oh also they didn't bither trying to phone my mobile tgey went straight to the house phone#i mean i was waiting for the phonecall since the day after my appointment and i was hyper aware of every sound that could have been made#by my phone#but when the house phone rang i was just like oh thats for me#but then my parents didn't call me through or anything so i just sat in my room like ...?#then later it rang again and again i was like its for me and sure enough my mother call d me through#it always sucks whn you just know#last time i saw the postman outside delivering letters to other people and my heart just sank and I knew he had the letter with bad news#it is funny though cus my dad thought the phone call was spam and thats why they didn't tell me#he was like look at the number its probably a mobile its spam and ignored it#which is what i did cus the nhs number looks like a spam number whuch is why i have it saved in my phone now#so yeah#im not happy about it but im glad i caught it early enough again#wonder if it wouldve been in situ if the doctor i saw a year ago decided to take it off then#wonder how close it was to stage one... guess ill find out
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“𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭”
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: ex-boyfriend!geto, fuck machine with a dildo that has a knot, begging/yearning/praise/confessions/he’s a little condescending/teases you, bondage, overstimulation, squirting, lighting pussy eating, suguru’s tongue is pierced, making out, biting, light size kink, he calls you lil mama, love and beautiful, pussy drunk/love drunk suguru is a desperate sap for you in this one who really wants you back
𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧! 'I can take care of you. you won't need anyone but me' with possessive Geto, please🙏
Fey; she is finally here! I hope y'all enjoy! @ryomance I made myself tear up a little but then again I'm a cry baby, idk he’s had me with this one I would be swooning and giving him little pieces of my heart
The door slides open letting light flood into the dark sex room. You blink a few times adjusting to the dim golden light. “Suguru, please!” You’re desperately beg for his attention.
Suguru’s cock ache at the sight. Just knowing he had you tied up in the other room waiting for him to give you attention kept him hard for the past hour.
The machine is bullying your puffy, sore, dripping wet cunt with a fat dildo. It’s knot is too fat tugging your cunt on the way out. You jolt when the machine mercilessly stuffs it back in.
Franticly pleading, “Sug-ruuuunnn!” Writhing rubbing against the rope. Your attempts to twist your hips away from the relentless toy is pathetic. The knot spits your cunt wide open, your body jolts, pussy spasming, and thighs quiver.
You’re drooling over how Suguru’s heavy cock sways when he walks. You want to feel him so badly the toy is too much but it's not Suguru. It’s not his fat cock, you’ve missed how he fills and splits you open with his big heavy cock.
Suguru’s silence is crushing, you cheeks burn as you beg, “Please touch me!” His cock throbs from how sloppy wet your squelching cunt sounds when the dildo sinks in deep.
Your whines are so needy and pitiful. His cock aches with the need to feel you spasming, soaking and gripping his cock. It’s maddening.
His lips curl into a cold, sadistic smirk. After three years of regretful yearning it took date crashing and some flirting to get you back to his apartment where he could tie you up.
If you can't walk straight in the morning you'll have to stay and recover in his bed. Giving him some more time for round two so he can memorize how your pussy soaks and grips his cock. That’s all he needs, just a little more time hearing you cry, moan and whimper his name like your his needy slut.
His gaze warms with a hungry intense passion as he admires you. Suguru is starving and you’re tied up, legs spread serving your cunt to him. “‘S beautiful. You’re here in front of me and I miss you still. I miss the love in your eyes when you looked at me.”
Suguru could use and fuck you however he wants for tonight only and then you’re losing his number again. You just really need his thick cock filling your needy cunt up. You won't fall for his words.
Any harshness to your tone falters to a pathetic whine, “I didn't miss you that much!!!” Tilting your head back, thick tears trickle down your face. You’re cumming too hard, squirting on the toy your swollen pussy dripping, quivering, and tightly gripping the dildo you wish was Suguru’s cock instead.
Suguru stands behind you, the top of your head reaching his chest. It’s so condescending how he looks down at you insisting, “I've missed seeing you squirt, I wish it was on my cock, see its not hard to be honest with yourself.” Kissing the top of your head, “But I guess you can lie to yourself all you want.”
Leaning down, lowering his voice, “I'm curious since you didn't miss me that much why are you here?” He’s mocking you, toying with you still after he left you at the mercy of his fucking fuck machine. The thing had you begging god for mercy in between your loud sobs.
You’re so vulnerable, soft and squishy, so beautiful. The tightness of the rope highlighting the soft fat of your thighs as it pudges.
Reminding yourself, “To cum! Nnnnnothing more! We aren't talking anymore after this!” The suddenness in which he stops touching you in jarring.
Suguru twists your words against you. “You’re only here to cum? Wellll since you’ve done just that beautiful.” The machine stops with a mash of a button, “I’ll untie you, after aftercare you can leave.” Half of the dildo is splitting your swollen cunt open.
You franticly complain, “What? But I thought?!” You’re words falter into needy cries when he wheels the machines back, gliding the toy out.
Suguru groans admiring what a gapping, swollen, dripping wet mess your pussy has become. It’s taking everything within him to restraint himself from splitting your puffy pussy open.
Reiterating, “You wanted to cum, you didn't just that, you don't need me or my cock right? That’s not what you’re here for.” He grabs the rope above your head, leaning in close with a cruel smirk, “Unless you have something you want to tell me.”
Closing your eyes, “….I want you.”
It’s not enough.
Feigning dumb Suguru tilts his head to the side, furrowing his thin brows. “Want me to what? Be a good girl look me in eyes while you’re begging for me.” Looking into his warm dark brown eyes. The passion in his dark chocolate brown eyes makes your heart flutter.
Suguru croons, “Tell me lil mama what you need.” His gaze softens, cupping your cheek. Slowly dragging his large thumb across your cheek, whilst leaning in close. You can’t look anywhere but Suguru’s beautiful face.
Your bound body flushes with heat. “Fuck me! Please I need you! I’ve missed your stupidly fat cock.” His in soft lips curling in a gentle playful smile.
It’s still not enough. Your pretty, gentle pleas aren’t enough, he needs to hear you scream it whilst he’s fucking you.
He steps back and your face drops with disappointment as you plea, “Please! Fuck me, please Suguru!” Your brows pinch with frustration and your beautiful eyes glisten with tearful desperation.
Walking to his dresser of toys, he pulls a draw open and shifts through its contents. You can’t look away, his beautiful broad shoulders, slim waist, and a bubbly ass are captivating
Suguru encourages you whilst looking through part of his collection. “You can beg better than that, don’t tell me you forgot what I fucked into your beautiful head three years ago.” You can hear the coy smirk in his soft voice that barely conceals his anger.
“I don’t want a toy, I want you to untie me so I can run my fingers through your hair, scratch your back and feel you up while you fuck me.” Suguru turns around, caught in his gaze the last words slip off your tongue like honey. “I miss…how it feels to cum on your cock.”
Suguru croons, “Aww that can’t be the only thing you miss about me?” Walking over to untie you. There are too many thing about him you’ve spent countless nights missing.
You glaring up at him, “Why should I miss someone who shoved me away and emotionally shut down when he was with me?” This is messy, but you’re willing to argue and fuck with your too hot for your own good ex.
Suguru carefully unties you, rubbing his thumb over where the rope left marks. “I was a self sabotaging asshole, let me show you how I’ve changed.” Your legs wobble when they touch the floor, whilst your stiff shoulders ache.
Suguru sweeps you off feet cradling you to his chest. You hate how safe and warm it feels when he holds you. Even more than you hate how you want to kiss his chest.
Reminding yourself by grumbling aloud, “Was? You’re definitely still out here sabotaging people’s dates.”
Proudly smiling, “And I would do it again, he couldn’t make you smile, laugh and cum like I can. I can take care of you,” Suguru carries you out of the room and down the hallway towards a cracked open dark wooden door.
Suguru nudges the door open with his foot showing you his bedroom lit by an arrangement of various long and short thin white candles. With rose petals scattered along his light gray sheets, his dark bedspread folded neatly at the bottom of the oversized bed.
You can't give it to him so remark, “Rose petals? Candles? It’s almost romantic.” You hate how it’s working, how your heart flutters at the sight. Quickly you try to sour it. “Seems you have this on hand for just any women you bring home.”
He carefully sets you on the bed, the rose petals soft like his bedsheets. It smell like body wash, you briefly think of all the nights he’s laid in bed after a shower. His naked body stretched out on the sheets your laying on.
Suguru’s cheeks flush pink as he admits, “Nope I use the rose petals and candles for my baths still. It reminded me of you so I didn’t stop when we broke up.” He’s slowly looking you up and down, like he’s trying to memorize the sight of you in his bed.
He stands up admiring you on his bed, the smirk on his face softens to a gentle wishful smile. The passionate yearning in his dark chocolate eyes crushes your resolve for this to be the last time you see him.
In the flickering candle light Suguru is careful balance of romantically beautiful and rugged handsome in the the flickering candle light. His arms flex when he fixes his hair in a bun, and your cunt clenches at the sight
You can’t stop yourself from spitting in residual hurt. “I stopped cause it reminded me too much of you. And I miss you, you’re an asshole, I hate that I miss you.” He climbs onto the bed spreading your legs apart and dipping his head between your legs.
You have to use both hands to keep his long thick hair back. He groans dragging his soft tongue between your legs. The hard warm metal ball of his tongue piercing when it presses against your clit makes you writhe in intense pleasure.
“Ohhhhh fuck that feels nnnn!” Tilting your head back, loudly moaning his name.
Suguru swipes his tongue over your clit two more times then gives her a sloppy loud kiss. “I hate me too for it,” Grabbing his fat cock and nudging your soft lips. “But I can’t change the past, what I can do is spend the rest of my life showing you how in love with you I’ve always been if you let me.” It’s dangerous to be caught in his intense loving gaze. Who are you kidding it was dangerous to get up and leave with him, the moment you stood up from that dinner table your fate was sealed.
He leans down, and you swipe his hair to one side, it fall next to your face. Spreading your fingers on his chest, fondling his thick hard pecs, fuck he’s so handsome with his broad muscular chest.
You whine “Fuck me! Suguru!” Slowly dragging his cock up along your wet slit to rub your soft wet clit with his cock head. He so observant, memorizing the way your thighs tremble as you grind your clit on his fat head.
Softly nudging your lips apart with a gentle thrust, gliding his fat head in. Suguru leans back watching as the soft lip of his cock head slips inside you. He loves how it tugs on your tight cunt gently before slipping out. “No matter how much time I get with you it will never be enough by away for so long has made me so greedy for your attention. I need you all to myself.”
He groans, furrowing his thin brown. “Fuuck! I was so stupid to waste the past three years of my life away from you.” Slowly pushing his fat cock in stretching out your dripping wet little hole. “I could have spent of showing you every day how you mean the world to me my love.” Suguru admires how beautiful the color of your pussy’s lips is against his pale cock.
Suguru confesses, “I was so lost and scared but amongst all of that you were trying so hard to reach me out to me and I stupidly walked away. I’m sorry I hurt you.” Swiping his long thick hair to one side and grabs your hands holding them above you head.
He leans down repeating, “I'm sorry isn't enough to make up for it.” Pouring his intense, passion yearning into a slow and deepening kiss that as you parting your lips for his tongue. It’s familiar to follow his lead, it feels so good to kiss and hold him whilst he’s balls deep in you.
Suguru pulls enough to tell you, his voice breathy from the sweet pleasure of your soaking wet cunt clenching his cock. “It took me wanting to become the kind of man who can give you what you want and deserve to help myself become a better man.” He groans, picking up his pace, you can feel his yearning each thrust. Even though you’re here beneath him Suguru fucks you like he misses you still.
He hunches over burying his face into your neck, biting down as he lets your hands go to gently grab your hips. Squishing your soft pudgy fat crease your hips make when your legs fold.
His pace momentarily falters when you scratch his muscular back side. Digging your nails into his shoulders as he fucks you harder, fucking you into a dumb cock hungry slut.
Softly cupping your face whilst gently sliding his large soft hand over your hip and up your side. Slowly dragging his hand back down crasassing your body, stopping at the bend of your knee Suguru wraps your leg around his waist.
Leaning down letting some of his body weight pin you in place, you could squirm and writhe but not enough to run away from his merciless thrust. An intense contrast to how softly he’s touching you and his gentleness in his voice.
Kissing your forehead, keeping his rough harsh pace steady. Suguru is reaching so feel you could feel him underneath your belly button. As your body jolts from the intense pleasure of his cock head bruising your cervix. “There wasn’t a day that passed I didn’t think about you.”
Suguru desperately begs. “Please love don’t let this be our last night together. I need to be yours’, I don’t want to go back to how we used to be but start something better and create a loving, cozy home.”
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#jjk smut#jjk#jjk x reader#jjk x y/n#jjk x you#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x y/n#jujutsu kaisen x you#geto smut#geto x reader#geto suguru smut#suguru geto smut#geto x you#suguru geto x reader#geto suguru x reader#jjk geto
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#I don't hold idols on a pedestal like I use to when I was a teen#Growing up watching 2nd gen idols I've seen this joke played out so many times I've become numb to it which is so messed up#I honestly don't understand how it can still be made in 2023#I'm disappointed since the boys are huge role models and have SEEN when fans get upset over colorist remarks but to still be making them is#so disappointing#I know colorism is bad in EAST ASIA but I honestly thought they learned to not poke fun at having darker skin and making distasteful jokes#It feels like something that would be said back in 2011 but wow to think they left it in the video during the editing#Which I can only guess they did since MINHO had such a strong reaction to it that he swings at KEY#I hope they respond and at least say I'm sorry and will educate themselves on why this is not right#But apart of me thinks they do know it's wrong I mean so many other idols have been called out for poking fun at other members#why can't we move forward and learn from past mistakes#They need to do better#SHINee
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