#Yeah it can be rough

[asktheheirofslytherin]

honestly i went to therapy and it sucked. dunno why ppl keep recommending it to you

People do enjoy making recommendations to me. Given my history of trauma and my pattern of behaviours that many have decided are maladaptive, they believe they are helping me.

Therapy requires vulnerability. Vulnerability is painful. I ignore my emotions, my burdens, and most especially my trauma for a reason.

Therapy is also supposed to beget emotional maturity and healthy coping mechanisms, but I believe I am beyond these things. Nearly 100 years of the same pattern is hard to break, and truthfully, this curated blend of relentlessness, perfectionism and coldness has driven me to the top. Some might find the sleepless nights, mutilation of one's physical form, and the inability to feel any emotion besides anger to be a drawback, but it works for me. I have no regrets.

[xxplastic-cubexx]

obligatory beach divorce doodling

bonus rough cover redraw of x-men #41 (1995) But Beach Divorce below cut

[viveela]

A style comic I just had to get out of my system

[napping-sapphic]

I just want to fall in love with someone who makes me feel safe like even when we’re angry or sad or upset i just want to know that both of us are still going to be okay

[nordidia]

having a very rough night so raph doodles needed to be made

when in need, mash two interests together

[yuwuta]

yuuta exhibits such previously abandoned, recently adopted dog behavior. incredibly anxious all the time, even though nobody’s out to get him or leave him behind. waits for you to return home or from school or from work excitedly, just to see you when you walk through the door. follows you around senselessly, hovering in your space just for the sake of companionship. initiates affection in prodding ways—starts off next to you, then a hand on your thigh, then deems it safe to lay all the way down, then slowly pushes his head into your lap. gets up whenever you need to get up, and resumes his position as soon as you’re ready. brings you gifts as a sign that he’s thinking of you, and maybe because he likes the affection it brings out in you, maybe because he likes the gentle affirming touches of a hand in his hair or a pinch to his cheek. rests his head on your stomach or his chin on your shoulder when he’s sleepy, stays there, immobile, and will not move unless absolutely necessary. sometimes he gets surprised when he hears you calling for him, there’s a moment of disbelief as he thinks “me? really? you need me?” but it’s very quickly overshadowed by this compulsive need to show up, to please, to do anything for you, which is why he always answers when you call. he doesn’t realize that he has puppygod eyes, especially when he’s excited or confused, but he does and it’s incredible endearing. very reluctant to share your space or attention after a while, considers that to be sacred and he won’t risk being let go or lost again, so as a safety precaution, he keeps himself right by you, waits for you always. 

[skysurfing]

unforeseen situation

[pinkeoni]

S1 and s2 (but especially s1) feel so intimate and grounded and personal. I am watching these character’s lives.

But s3 and s4 (ESPECIALLY s3) feels fake and removed. I’m watching a tv show.

[magicandmundane]

Fennec: You guys are POOR and you can’t even keep ONE KID safe idk why I got you for a job that requires COMPETENCE

Hunter:

Wrecker: Would you FUCK OFF already?!

[character-obsessed-fem]

listen. hear me out. shadow not being able to talk properly and just mispronouncing/mumbling EVERYTHING when gerald first created them. i'm talking toddler/infant speaking level despite being like. above six years old when they first came out of that tube.

the adults who didn't like shadow using this as an excuse to ignore whatever the hedgehog has to say under the pretense of 'not being able to understand them', and not listening when shadow says they're hungry or that an experiment hurts.

maria teaching shadow how to speak and pronounce things right - it takes them a while, but eventually, shadow is the most well-spoken being on that ARK.

the adults hating maria for this because now they actually have to listen to what shadow has to say now because they can longer dismiss them due to them being unintelligible. they actually have to listen when shadow says 'that hurts!' or 'i want professor robotnik.' or 'i need water.'

and if they don't - well, shadow tells everything to maria, and maria brings up every little issue regarding shadow up to gerald, the lead scientist, who does everything to make sure maria is happy - which means making sure shadow is happy.

[chongoblog]

Sometimes you look at where you are and you see you just haven’t made the progress you’d like. You’re stuck in the mire and you have been for a long time.

Does that mean that you’re finished?

Not at all. It simply means you’re in a bad phase of your life where things aren’t going your way. Life comes and goes in these phases. And when this phase ends, you’re looking ahead to a great phase of your life. All you have to do is keep taking steps forward. Because that’s where the next phase is.

[ancha-aus]

RealAgeAU Drabble - Meet Up

We are so close you all! So so so close :3 @spotaus get in here friend :D

It is so nice to just uplaod the first drafts of these drabbles! :D Makes them so easy to make and finish <3

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*---------------------*

Killer runs straight home and doesn’t bother to act as if he has a normal monsters stamina. He needs to get home now and warn the others.

He is so lucky that Ellie kept him out of sight from Dream and Blue.

Because apparently those two are here now!

How did they even find them?! Especially as Ellie told him that she thinks they are looking for them.

Yeah no kidding! Killer didn’t even bother to deny it as he muttered he just needed to get home. Ellie advised him to go behind the buildings as that is mostly out of sight and should keep him hidden and out of sight.

Killer quickly set off to get home.

He is by now just running through the forest and going full speed. The LOVE in him making it easy to keep running for long times and boosting both his speed and his stamina.

He gets out of the forest in their area and rushes into the house.

Killer searches and relaxes as he sees Nightmare right in the nest where he should be. Nightmare seems to be scribbling in his little journal.

Horror walks out of the kitchen and he looks around worried himself “Crop just called.”

Killer nods as he pants “Dream and Blue are in town.”

Nightmare freezes and looks between them panicked.

Killer goes to Nightmare’s side and looks at Horror “Cross and Dust?”

Horror speaks “should be in the garden. I will get them.” and he goes outside.

Nightmare whines softly and Killer quickly pulls Nightmare close “It is okay tiny boss. No one is going to get you.” No one. Killer is going to allow anyone to touch their baby. Nightmare is their just as much as they all are Nightmare’s.

Horror returns with Cross and Dust and they all sit in the nest as they discuss what just happened.

As expected Dust immediately went around to close all the curtains and check the locks while Cross looks anxious “What if they find this place? I know we are hidden but everyone in town knows where we live. What if someone believes them and sends them our way?”

Horror shakes his skull “They won’t. Crop and Straw are going to make sure people don’t say stuff and they know not to talk about other people’s personal stuff.” Horror has yet to stop rubbing Nightmare’s tiny skull to reassure him.

Nightmare just stays plastered against Killer’s front. His souls is getting slightly squished between them but Killer doesn’t mind and it feels nice to feel Nightmare that close.

Dust nods “We stay inside. Stay quiet and lay low. Keep an eye out. We already did the big harvest and sale anyway. We can afford to hide before we need to prepare the farm for winter.”

Killer nods and grins at Nightmare “That sound okay baby? Just relax and cuddle in the nest together?”

Nightmare looks a bit unsure still but nods as she nuzzles closer to Killer and a part of Killer melts at the sight. Killer holds him close and purrs softly “That is it baby. Just let us worry about these type of things okay?”

Their phone rings in the kitchen and Dust stalks over to it before picking it up but not saying a single word. He listens for a moment before speaking “Crop.” He listens again and gives a small nod “You two can come by.” And he hangs up quickly afterwards.

They remain near each other as they talk about possible ideas on how to keep an eye out but not run the risk of being spotted. They quickly settle on that Cross can go around to check things while invisible but that he shouldn’t engage any combat. They are just discussing if Cross can keep someone else with himself invisible for long times when they hear a knock on the door.

A quick check later and they invite Straw and Crop in.

The two brothers tell them what happened with Blue and Dream in town and confirm that they are very obviously looking for them.

Straw slowly holds up a package of papers “I do think you may want to read these.”

Dust frowns and takes them to read through quickly together with Cross.

Straw nods “For what we could see. They seemed honest about it all! Even if they are rather pushy in the way they go about it.”

Crop walks out of the kitchen where he cleaned up some groceries “The others in town all agreed the two are shifty and not to be trusted.” Then a bit more amused “Heads up. They also kinda assumed that either or both of them are Nightmare’s other parent.”

Dust freezes and makes gagging noises at the very idea while Horror chuckles and pats his back.

Cross pouts as he crosses his arms and mutters about Dust being way out of their league and Killer snorts as he nuzzles Nightmare “Better for us. Makes everyone want to keep the two away from us with all the ground work we laid concerning the ‘other parent’ and how they were messed up.”

Nightmare just shrugs as he stays close with Killer.

Dust focusses back on the papers and frowns “Are they for real with this?”

Crop shrugs “We aren’t sure. They seemed honest but we can’t check the multiverse stuff easily.”

Killer frowns as he takes the paper to read through it with Nightmare as the others discuss ways to check if they really are truthful about it.

The announcement that Dream hadn’t done his job right. How Nightmare had been right. That Nightmare had never been a danger to the multiverse. How Dream had made things more complicated and how he should never have involved others into the mess.

How Dream never was a god of positivity and that he misunderstood his job. How the balance has been restored and so Dream won’t interfere with it anymore as it also is no longer his actual job.

Just lists upon lists of him going around and making sure everyone who knew about them knew the new truth.

It is so much.

Killer frowns as he sneaks a look at Nightmare. Nightmare just stares at the reports. His face blank.

Oh no.

Killer frowns and pulls him close “Nighty?”

Nightmare just stares at the reports “I told him this so many times… So long ago… why… why didn’t he believe me?” and he just looks at Killer sadly “Why did he never believe me?”

Killer frowns and holds their babybones close “I don’t know Nighty. I really don’t know.” He doesn’t have an answer. He doesn’t know what Dream was thinking or why he did what he did. All Killer knows is that their baby needs support and love and he can give that.

Dust joins their side and holds Nightmare’s hand silently. Just being there.

Cross looks at Horror “So how do we keep them away?”

Horror frowns as he clearly thinks before answering “We can’t. If they are still doing this after all this time? There is no dodging this. We will need to at least meet up to get them to stop.”

Cross looks deeply unhappy and Killer agrees.

Cross sighs and nods “How do we want to do that?”

Horror thinks before getting a small smile “I have an idea. We will also need to contact Error.”

--

Killer watches the empty road a few cities further along. He checks his phone for any new messages. It is still just the message he send the two Stars with this location and them sending back they are on their way.

Killer looks back at the street and quickly hides further behind the tree.

Dream is rushing up the road as he looks from side to side. Blue close behind him.

Killer mutters softly “They are here. You ready?”

Cross answers from wherever he is hidden “Ready.”

Killer would do the talking and Cross will be his backup in case he needs it. While they confront the Stars Dust and Horror will talk with Error about hiding this universe.

Easy does it. Blue and Dream walk by his hiding spot and Killer goes to the other side of the tree and just leans against it. His knife out. “what do you two want?”

Dream turns quickly and smiles “Killer! I am so happy to see you!” he takes a few steps but Killer holds his knife out aimed at him.

“Yeah. I can’t say I feel the same. What the fuck do you two want with us? I thought we made it clear that we didn’t want to see either of you the last time we met up?” Killer twirls his knife around as he makes sure to look unimpressed.

Dream frowns but takes a deep breath and steels himself “I want to see Nightmare. I want to see my brother. And I know if anyone knows where he is it is you four.”

Killer laughs and shakes his skull “Nah. You can go back to sniffing and shitting out good deeds. You are not going near boss.” Like hell Killer is going to allow Dream to come near Nightmare.

Dream glares at him and takes a step closer. Killer can hear Cross get his knife out somewhere near him. Dream clearly can’t see him as he glares at Killer “I know things have been rough. And I know I made mistakes. But I have been fixing those and actually making things right. I want to make things right with Nightmare. But for that I need to see him.”

Killer snorts “Just because you are selfish we should just lay over and let you get whatever you want? No.”

Dream glares at Killer “Really? What if Nightmare actually wants to see me? What if he actually also wants to talk about what happened? He wanted before. I am late and I know I was blind and acting stupid. But I want to listen. I want to hear what he has to say.” Dream takes a deep breath to calm down again as he keeps looking determined “I need to see him.”

Killer glares and hisses out his answer “No. You are not going near him.”

Dream glares right back “Like it or not but we are brothers. We are twins. We are both gods. We are always going to be connected in some way. Keeping us separate may just cause more trouble.”

Killer glares as he holds out his knife “Are you seriously trying to threaten me?”

Dream shakes his skull “No! I am not trying to do that! I just…” he holds hugs himself close “Don’t you sometimes wish you got a second chance? To make up for what you did wrong? For the pain you caused?”

Killer feels himself freeze. He has no doubt that Cross isn’t doing much better.

Dream just keeps talking “I know I messed up. I messed up badly. I just… I just want a chance to make things right. And I have done that for the multiverse… but I haven’t apologised yet to Nightmare. That is all I want Killer. I just want to see my brother and tell him I am sorry. That I am sorry for everything.” He looks desperate “please… You guys have to understand that feeling.”

Killer doesn’t like this. This still seems like such a bad idea… Cross holds his hand and squeezes it. Full trust in his decision.

Killer groans as he looks to the side “We can discuss stuff… See if he even wants to see you or prefers to just keep you as a thing of the past.”

Dream smiles and moves closer “Thank you! thank you so much-”

“I am not promising anything.” Killer glares “I will ask everyone. However. If he says no. If he says he prefers to keep you as a thing of the past. We will respect that. And you will have to respect that as well.”

Dream looks pained and shakes his skull “But… But I want…”

Killer glares “I don’t give a flying fuck about what you want or how you feel. You abandoned him. You betrayed him. You hurt him. You never listened to him. Just because you now finally got your head out of your own ass doesn’t mean he owns you anything. Least of all a second chance.” Killer keeps glaring at the god. “Am. I. Clear?”

Dream looks pained but he nods.

Killer nods himself “Good. Now leave. You are causing more problems for this universe than you are worth.” He turns and starts to walk away “When we made a decision I know how to contact you.”

A moment of silence until “At least tell him I am sorry… please… I need him to know that I am sorry and I want to do better…”

Killer stops but nods “Fine.” And he keeps walking.

This meeting could have gone better… Now to get home and let Nightmare decide what he wants.

*---------------------*

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[yellowvixen]

some sketches!! go read iron oxide rn

[pnfc]

somethin about doof respecting/prioritizing perry's eminent masculinity when he makes him a servant vs doof himself by his admission/preference being more of a feminine maid type with the aprons and the whathaveyou. uh its cute

[ffredmujkic]

Currently thinking abt how edyn probably thinks her brother is dead, since he’s gone to the black sea

[mitamicah]

Day 4 of @kaarija-inktober took a turn: the prompt is screaming

Inspired by Menestynyt Yksilö and Kintsugi (putting together broken pottery with gold glue)

So ... welcome to the ranty part of the post.

I have felt like I have been stuck recently. It is not as bad as it was pre-Käärijä where I couldn't sleep due to existential dread and had almost stopped caring about myself and my well being since I was constantly feeling inadequate.

That said my energy (physical and mental both) is fluctuating a lot where I sometime feel like all I can do is as little as possible (which results in me trying to nap and end up more miserable or going to bed way earlier than I actually want just to get the day over with). Artistically while I have some days where I'm hit with the inspirational dogde ball and can create artwork after artwork no problem, most of the time I feel like I am on the verge of an artblock. My gender dysphoria has been a rollercoaster as well going from days I feel like I've never felt better in my skin to days where I haven't felt worse. These emotional peaks are draining me and so when I sat down to draw this prompt and just couldn't get a good sketch going I gave in and decided to make this into a vent artwork. (Sorry to vintage Kä and especially MY for always seeming to get back to them when needing to vent).

So yeah - things are odd rn and not in a good way. I really hope things will turn around soon (maybe I have just reached that part of second teenage hood, who knows?)