#Yachiru? Never heard of her

[yeowangies]

mutual understanding

Chapter I | Chapter II: Time for a little truth | III | IV | V

PAIRING: Kenpachi/AFAB!Reader CONTENTS: AU - Fantasy, Medieval, Royalty, Arranged Marriage, Misunderstandings, Miscommunication, Pining, Explicit Sexual Content in later chapters. WARNING FOR THIS CHAPTER: Mentions of mild blood and minor violence. WORDCOUNT: 3404

Summary:

Despite your first hand experience, it was getting difficult to admit to yourself that Kenpachi wasn’t actually as bad as he initially seemed. He was violent and obsessed with fighting, that was obvious and even more so when you started living there, but he had never treated you roughly. Not even a single word out of place towards you, less alone one threatening action. 

Notes:

I struggle writing this chapter a bit, confrontations are hard lmao but they are always necessary and i'm glad we can move on to sexier parts now!

Let me know if you wanna be tagged!

header by me, divider by @/saradika

taglist: @actuallysaiyan @lol-ktr @vrgelivvvv

The night was beautiful. It had been raining days prior, and you couldn’t wait to go for a walk in the garden that night. It was the only alone time you had, with no maids trailing behind your every move, not when they didn’t notice you sneaking off.

You rarely went past the trees signaling the limit of the palace. The forest was on the other side, and people rarely went too deep into it, knowing what kind of magical creatures existed was enough to ward anyone off. 

You only wanted to explore a little, not enter the woods completely, but as soon as you took two steps into it, something felt off. 

The first thing you heard was a distant howl, before a gust of air threw you down onto the ground. Your vision got blurry, heat covering your body as claws tightly held onto your arm, digging into your flesh. You couldn’t even scream, completely confused as to what was even happening, and who or what was even attacking you. Blood trickled down your arm, and that was when you could finally let out a shaky cry. 

Whatever was holding you suddenly dropped you, and you fell with your back against the dirt, breathing heavily as the world stopped spinning rapidly enough so you could open your eyes and focus. 

You gasped loudly at the sight above you; an enormous man with an eyepatch and a scar across his face standing in front of you, holding a sword. Half his face covered in blood, making your body shiver in fear.

You barely crawled away before feeling too weak to keep moving, heart beating fast inside your ribcage, and you kept your eyes on the man in front of you, holding onto what was left of your consciousness as you heard far away voices resonating around you.

“Captain Zaraki just saved a girl!”

“Was that a werewolf?!”

“That’s the princess!”

“We need to get her back to the castle!”

You woke up, feeling hot and sweaty under the blankets, gasping for air at the flashback you had for a dream. 

That was the day Kenpachi saved you, the day you met him for the first time. It was embarrassing to even remember, as you had been more afraid of him than you had been of the actual creature that had harmed you. Albeit you hadn’t actually seen the werewolf. You only found that Kenpachi had sliced him in two once you woke up a few days later and one of the maids informed you about it.

You still didn’t know what to think of that experience, only that it made your blood run cold at times.

It has been a couple of weeks since you had moved to the castle, and the days passed by easily. You didn’t feel as tense as the first few days, when you were still testing the waters of the place.

Yachiru was actually a good company, despite her short age. She was vivacious and gave you strength and hope with her every move. You even met Ikkaku and Yumichika one night while you took a walk through the gardens, and even though they weren’t as strong as Kenpachi (not that you cared, but they let you know the fact nonetheless), they were much easier to talk to than your husband was. 

Once Kenpachi had given you permission to reorganize the garden (his exact words were ‘do whatever you want’), you focused solely on that, and as the early weeks of fall began, the weeds and overgrown grass had been removed completely. You knew it was a bad time to start planting seeds; if the cold in the first few days didn’t kill the plants, the snow might do that job once winter arrived. But you couldn’t wait; it was the only thing that kept you occupied. 

As soon as you became more familiar with the castle, you realized there wasn’t a library or a banquet hall. Why would there be any of those rooms if Kenpachi did not seem like the type to enjoy those things? Nevertheless, you wanted to fix that, but in order to do that, you had to ask your husband about it, and you felt like you might be overstepping with such an expensive and ambitious project. The garden will have to be done for now, and once that part was done, you could move on to something bigger.

Yachiru was helping you a lot in her own way, spreading the seeds across the soil of the garden (and though you specifically told her not to mix them you knew she was doing it), and once you were done for the day, you headed back into the castle. 

“Are we gonna do that again tomorrow?” She asked cheerfully, running across the entrance. 

“Tomorrow we have another task for the garden, we have to water the soil, remember?” You said, looking at her with a smile. “We have to do that everyday, and hopefully flowers will bloom by spring!”

“We’ll have flowers by spring?” Yumichika asked, walking through the entrance along with Ikkaku. 

“I am planning for that, however it does depend on the weather, and how crude these colder months are.” You replied with a soft smile. “I have faith that they will bloom!”

“Flowers never really grew in that place,” Ikkaku commented, looking at the still brand new garden through the window. “It was always full of weed, nobody really cared for it.”

“My mission is to make this place nicer! Once the garden is done, I wish to create a ballroom!”

“You want a ballroom?” Kenpachi's deep voice resonated from behind you, making you jump. “Why?”

“Well… So people can come over…” You replied quietly, turning around to face him with unsure eyes. 

“Come over for what?” His frown got deeper and it only made you more nervous.

“For socializing! Dancing and eating, mostly.” You replied, confused and slightly irritated. “Is that not to your taste?”

“We never had dances!” Yachiru replied, loud and joyful. “I bet it’s super fun!”

It was your turn to frown when you heard him sigh like he was annoyed before he spoke. 

“I will never understand women.”

An uncomfortable feeling raised inside you, more rapidly than you expected when you noticed from the corner of your eye that Ikkaku was looking at the both of you with eyes wide open, and Yumichika had covered his face with his palm. 

Embarrassed and frustrated, you couldn’t contain it even if you tried. 

“And I do not understand you.” You spat, looking up at Kenpachi as if he wasn’t twice your size. “Are you going to deny this to me? It is your right to do so, but this would not even be an issue if we were not married. You could have vehemently said no to this union, even escape from it! So I might as well enquire why exactly did you accept it? I was the one who had no choice!”

You kept your eyes on his for a moment as he stared at you, wide eyed, as if you had sprouted another head.

Not interested in listening to whatever that could have been said, you ran out of the castle towards the garden.

*

Kenpachi stood there looking at you as you got smaller the further you ran, and was only brought back to the present time by Yachiru’s voice.

“Dumb Kenny.” Yachiru commented, way too loud for Kenpachi’s taste, but he only turned to look at her, confused and annoyed. She paid him no mind and only ran up down the hall towards the kitchen. 

“What in the hell…” He grunted, unsure of what to do. Under any circumstances, he would start a fight, but even he knew that was a terrible idea. 

“Captain,” Yumichika called for him, making Kenpachi turn to him. “With all due respect, you are an idiot.”

“What?” Kenpachi practically growled, but Yumichika went on despite the threatening tone. 

“This girl is alone here, with no friends, no one she can confide in, and you just made her feel more alienated than ever. She had no choice in coming here, and she cannot leave at her own free will either. I suggest you actually tell her the truth.” 

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“You have affection for her, don’t you?” Yumichika asked softly, not really expecting an answer. “Go talk to her and tell her the truth. She will say she doesn’t want to talk, but pay it no mind. She’ll want to know.”

“How do you even know that?” Ikkaku asked, arching an eyebrow. 

“I actually have the emotional range of a human being.” Yumichika rolled his eyes. 

“Shut up.” Kenpachi grumbled, pondering on the idea of actually telling you how he was feeling for a while before deciding it was the right thing to do. “Fine, whatever.”

Walking out the entrance and towards the garden, he tried to organize his thoughts. It wasn’t like he was a complete prick; he knew what could be insulting to say, he simply didn’t care for those things. But apparently you had been uncomfortable since the moment you’ve been declared husband and wife. 

Kenpachi hadn’t actually thought about anything regarding your life and feelings, simply because he hadn’t paid too much attention to details beyond what you had shown him. He had even let you have the bedroom all for yourself because he assumed you were terrified of him; the way you looked at him the first time you met spoke volumes. And even occasionally you seemed petrified whenever he was around, even after you’ve been in the castle for weeks. 

It had pissed him off to hear you talk about him behind his back the way you had, though it probably came from a place of fear rather than arrogance, no matter that you moved around like the princess you were. That lovely bit of confidence he saw in you when you still lived in the palace diminished terribly when you moved to his castle, or at least around him it did, and he wasn’t going to keep contributing to it. 

Out in the garden, Kenpachi spotted you underneath a tree, sitting on the ground with your knees to your chest. 

It was time for a little truth. 

“I do not wish to speak to you.” You said, voice shaky, as soon as you noticed he was nearby. 

Kenpachi didn’t get any closer, but he spoke, regardless of what you said. 

“Just shut up and listen.” He sentenced, making you turn your head slightly to the side, enough so he could see your glossy eyes. Trying to pay it no mind, he went on. “I know marrying me wasn’t your choice. I was greedy. I didn’t want to refuse that opportunity so I didn’t really put up a fight when your father told me to marry you, even when you made it clear that you think I’m a barbarian. I didn’t care.”

Your frown and sniffle distracted him momentarily, especially when your eyes kept avoiding his. You had turned to face him, but you weren’t actually looking at him at all. 

“I hate how you keep looking at me, like I’m going to kill you at any given chance.” Kenpachi admitted through gritted teeth. “I didn’t really think about how this marriage would affect you so if you wish to leave and go back to the palace, I’ll make it happen.”

He spared you one last glance at you before turning away, when it was clear you wouldn’t respond to his words. You seemed even smaller, and the way you briefly looked at him before he left made you look powerless. 

*

You stared at Kenpachi as he walked away, surprised and confused, trying to focus on one of the things that he said at a time. 

He was being greedy? About what, exactly? It wasn’t like was using the dowry money to expand his fief. He didn’t even want you to expand the castle at all. His greediness did not involve money, so why did he say that?

You didn’t think it was so noticeable how afraid of him you were, even if it was a fleeting feeling at times. You couldn’t help it; he was imposing and his constant aggressive expression made it impossible for you to see him differently. It had a lot to do with that night when you first met, when he saved you. He hasn’t been the one who hurt you, but your mind just couldn’t fully dissociate what actually happened with the bloodlust he had in his eyes when he looked at you. On top of it all, he heard you calling him a ‘barbarian’ when you were trying to talk your father out of this marriage. 

However, despite your first hand experience, it was getting difficult to admit to yourself that Kenpachi wasn’t actually as bad as he initially seemed. He was violent and obsessed with fighting, that was obvious and even more so when you started living there, but he had never treated you roughly. Not even a single word out of place towards you, less alone one threatening action. 

Not to mention the fact that he adopted a small girl he found in the woods, and the undying loyalty of his men revealed a lot about what kind of person he was. And he had even let you sleep by yourself every night since you got there, knowing your discomfort. 

Maybe it was time to make amends. 

Waiting for Kenpachi that night, you paced around in your nightgown, hoping he’d come to the room after dinner. He usually did even if he didn’t spend the night, so you were ready to talk to him once he got there. 

When the door opened, you looked at him, feeling slightly intimidated. He had the same hard expression he usually wears, but it was starting to feel natural to see him that way, so you immediately relaxed. 

“I do not wish to go back to the palace.” You started promptly once the door was closed. Kenpachi remained impassive, only keeping his eyes on you once he removed the eyepatch. You gulped before going on. “I’m very comfortable here. I have to confess, you’ve treated me more like a person than anyone else might have done before, and I’m very thankful for that. And I’m… sorry, too.”

It was hard to read him at all, he only stared at you without moving a single muscle on his face, but somehow that was helpful enough to keep you talking.

“You saved my life, and I judged you horribly, without even attempting to know you. I insulted you and hurt your pride, so I must ask for your forgiveness.” 

Looking down, you bowed at a ninety degree angle, staying still for a moment before returning to an upright position. You kept your eyes on the floor, waiting for him to say something, hopefully words of encouragement that would mean he accepted your apology, and that you could stay.

“You hurt my pride, huh?” Kenpachi’s gruff voice brought your eyes back up to meet his as he made his way towards you; it surprised you that he was smirking. “Is that what you think you did?”

“I think so… Weren’t my words insulting?”

“For reasons you’re not seeing.” He paused, eying you up and down quickly as his smirk faded. “I didn’t care that I was probably offending you when I accepted your hand. Your father threatened me with my past, saying he would hand me over to another kingdom for the nobles I’ve killed when I was a mercenary.”

Your eyes opened wide at his words. You knew your father was a politician and a strategist before even being a father, but you couldn’t believe your ears. It was startling, but not unrealistic, that he had basically sold you to a murderer. 

“But I couldn’t care less about that, he could have done it and I would have managed to get away anyway.” Kenpachi went on nonchalantly, looking to the side as if he hadn’t given any of the things he was saying a lot of thought. “The reason I ended up accepting your hand, the reason I was greedy, was you.”

“I don’t understand.” 

“Your father offered you to me on a silver plate in exchange for my loyalty, and I accepted, just because I wanted to have you.”

You stared at him, bewildered. 

Kenpachi wanted you? You had seen him for the first time that night you had been attacked in the woods, and you weren’t so vain as to think of yourself so charming that one look would suffice to capture a man’s heart, especially a man like Kenpachi, who seemed so ruthless and aggressive to even care about those kind of things. Even more so when you looked terrified at that moment.

If anything, you were sure that you couldn’t actually judge him based on his expressions if he was telling you he wanted you with such a stoic look. 

His eyes were on you for a while, obviously awaiting a reaction, but as moments passed by in silence, he turned to leave, at which point you decided to speak.

“Wait!” You called for him, and Kenpachi turned to look at you. “Please stay. We’re husband and wife, we should sleep in the same bed, yes?”

“Aren’t you afraid of me?” 

“I’m not-” Kenpachi snorted in disbelief, making you jolt in surprise. You slapped yourself mentally for the slip but went on. “I mean, I was, I won’t deny it! Nevertheless, you’ve been nothing but nice and considerate since I got here.”

His eyes stayed on you to the point where you started to feel self conscious, until he finally sighed and took long steps to approach you. 

Everything about Kenpachi was intimidating; it was inevitable due to his size and expression. But after everything he had told you that day, nothing inside you made you anxious about him. If anything, you could see features that you might consider attractive (not that you didn’t notice them before, but fear and trepidation always won those battles). There was a rugged charm about him. 

“You’re asking me to share a bed with you after everything I told you?” Kenpachi asked with a smirk. “Are you doing it on purpose?”

“You can do whatever you want with me, nothing I say could stop you,” You said, staring back at him, straining your neck in the process. “But you've been attentive enough to make me trust you.”

When his hand slid up your shoulder and into the hair in the back of your neck, it surprised you but not enough to make you react. You were curious about his intentions since he made it clear he desired you for a while. 

“You have a lot of confidence for a tiny woman,” Kenpachi’s grin only grew, making you smile in return. 

“It comes with the royalty title.” You shrugged. “It won’t change anytime soon.”

“I don’t want you to change.”

With a firm grip on your hair, Kenpachi leaned down and kissed you. You made a noise in surprise; he had practically pressed his face against yours, bumping your noses and roughly crashing your lips together. You held onto him, gripping the front of his shirt tightly, when he slid his tongue past your lips and into your mouth. 

You could barely keep your legs from collapsing as he tasted every corner and every inch of your cavity. His desperation for you was palpable, and it made you all the more dizzy. It was difficult to even keep up with him, you were reduced to trembling legs and occasional gasps that left your mouth as you ran out of air. 

If it wasn’t for the arm Kenpachi had slid around your waist, you would have fallen down once he pulled away. The lack of air had made you lightheaded, and your face felt impossibly hot. 

Were kisses supposed to feel that good?

“Another.” You demanded once you’ve caught your breath, gazing at him with pleading eyes as you ran your hands up his tunic to bring him down again. “I demand another.”

With his usual cocky smirk, Kenpachi leaned down to kiss your lips once more. This time a little slower and gentler, but still just as eager. 

[gallusrostromegalus]

Ask game: 39, 39, 39, 39, oh and also 39

Blease give me more of your writing your brain weirdness is extremely satisfying to my brain weirdness in a way that few others understand or can replicate

Immediately after the battle with Aizen, in what's left of Fake Karakura:

--

Something neon pink appeared at Shinji's elbow At Speed and he startled, yelping loudly and having to fight the reflex to kick what appeared to be a small girl.

"HeyifyouseemydadIwaswiththefallbacktimethewholetimeokay?" She spoke at a speed Shinji had only ever heard from a dangerously overcaffienated Mashiro before.

"I'm not lying for you, Kusajishi." sighed Kuchiki.

"YACHIRU!" someone bellowed loud enough to make the few unbroken windows ring, and Shinji turned to the sound of Ominous Jingling to see a giant of a man with a peculiar vertical hairstyle and a captain's Haori approaching, livid.

"Shit." She muttered, turning to grin sheepishly at her father as he stomped over, expression dark and a tiny, teal-haired toddler on his hip.

"Where were you supposed to be today?" The Giant growled down at Yachiru, and Kuchiki excused himself to sit down on a nearby piece of bench-height rubble.

"...You told me to stay with the fallback team in Seireitei." She sighed.

"So why are you here?" the giant growled.

"BECAUSE YOU'VE BEEN WEIRD ALL MONTH AND IF SOMETHING HAPPENED TO YOU IN LAS NOCHES I'D NEVER FORGIVE MYSELF!" She shouted, reflexive foot-stomp blasting out a wave of enraged reiatsu.

"So, uh, who're Pinky and Punky here?" Shinji asked, limping over to sit down to watch next to Kuchiki.

"Eleventh Division Captain Zaraki Kenpachi and his daughter, Yachiru Kusajishi." Kuchiki nodded. "They're loud, but honorable and reliable."

"I'VE BEEN WEIRD ALL MONTH BECAUSE- Shit, it's- Its complicated, okay?" Kenpachi groaned.

"And the other girl?" Shinji asked.

"I believe Kurosaki said her name was 'Nel' or similar." Kuchiki nodded. "Not entirely sure why Zaraki is the one carrying her around but it's nothing to worry about. He's great with kids."

"SINCE WHEN HAS 'COMPLICATED' BEEN A REASON TO HIDE STUFF FROM ME?" Yachiru demanded, bristling at him.

"Great with kids, huh?" Shinji glanced over at Kuchiki.

"-BECAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT WAS GOING ON EITHER UNTIL ABOUT TWO HOURS AGO! WHAT IF SOMETHING HAD HAPPENED TO YOU, HUH? IT'S *MY* JOB TO WORRY ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND DAMMIT!"

"Oh, nevermind, I see what you mean." Shinji nodded and there was the barest hint of a smirk on Kuchiki's face.

Yachiru sniffled, tearing up with rage. "WHAT? I'M NOT ALLOWED TO WORRY ABOUT YOU!?"

"YOU CAN WORRY ALL YOU WANT BUT YOU CAN'T RISK YOUR HIDE FOR MY SAKE, THAT'S NOT HOW IT FUCKING WORKS-!" he roared, jabbing his finger at Yachiru.

"Can I have a juice?" the teal-haired toddler asked from Zaraki's hip.

"-In a minute Yachiru, I need to-" Kenpachi started and stopped. He blinked a few times, then slowly turned to frown at Nel, then at Yachiru, then back at Nel, pointing between the two girls and expression shifting from rage to utter confusion.

"Did you see another abandoned baby and just pick it up because it was Yachiru-shaped and Neon Colored?" Kuchiki called, teasing.

Kenpachi looked up at him, bewildered "MAYBE??" and Yachiru rolled her eyes behind him.

"That’s the most 'Raised By Birds' thing you’ve done in a while." Kuchiki laughed, getting up to peer down at Nel with curiosity.

"Raised by WHAT?" Shinji asked, jogging up after him.

Kenpachi Stood up straight, shaking his shoulders like he was ruffling feathers. "One, I’m not putting her back, two, who the fuck are these assholes?" He asked, gesturing at Shinji and the other Visored who had started to gather in the rubble to catch their breath after the battle.

"Remember how half the captains had fallen in battle or otherwise vanished before you showed up?" Byakuya asked.

"No, because I wasn’t there." Huffed Kenpachi, rifling through his Kosode and producing a Juice Box for Nel. "-but I remember Ikkaku complaining about the employee turnover."

"-AND I WAS RIGHT!" Ikkaku bellowed from his stretcher behind them, too injured to stand but not about to stop fighting, as expected of someone wearing the 11th Division's lieutenant insignia.

"YOU'RE STILL IN DEEP SHIT FOR THAT BANKAI THING, CUEBALL." Zaraki holled back at his lieutenant, who only turned his head away, sulking.

"Apparently the assorted missing officers weren’t dead, they just caught an artificially induced case of hollowfication from Aizen, but managed to survive and stayed out here in the living world to recover and learn to control their abilities out of sight from him." Kuchiki explained. Beside them, meaningful eye contact was exchanged between father and daughter, and he gave her a juice box as well. "Tactical." Zaraki nodded approvingly. "Also, non-zero chance The Old Man would have killed y'all on sight."

"Er. Yeah." Shinji winced, looking over his shoulder to where a surprisingly non-apocalyptic-looking Captain-General was discussing something with Unohana.

"This man specifically is is Hirako Shinji, Aizen’s former boss." Kuchiki continued, introducing them properly. "Captain Hirako, Captain Zaraki."

"Hiya!" Shinji grinned, holding out a hand for Zaraki to shake, but instead, he too was handed a juice box.

Kenpachi eyed Shinji in a not precisely hostile but still unnerving manner, as he offered Kuchiki a juice box as well and when turned down, opened it for himself and drank, studying him.

"…This explains six or seven things." Zaraki finally spoke, nodding sagely.

Shinji glared up at the giant. "Excuse me?"

Kuchiki waved a hand between Shinji and Zaraki. "I promise, it’s technically a compliment."

"Yeah, if Ken-chan didn't like you, you wouldn't have a head right now." Yachiru giggled.

"Mostly explains the two sets of teaspoons in the 5th division break room." Zaraki nodded, holding his hands out to his sides. "You're, whatsit- tiger-tiger thing?"

"Huh?" Puzzled Shinji.

"Symmetry?" Tried Kuchiki. "I do recall Captain Hirako having immense talent with mirroring and reversing text and other things."

"That's the bitch!" Zaraki grinned. "Not a bad idea though, you always have enough spoons."

"Huh. I guess so?" Shinji pondered, eyeballing Zaraki in turn. "Kenpachi, so you're captain of the 11th? If I remember correctly, Kiganjo was the tenth Kenpachi- so how many Kenpachis did we run through while I was away?"

"Just him for the last century. Only the two serious challenges to his post." Kuchiki explained, looking almost... proud? There were strange political currents swirling here, leaving Shinji feeling adrift.

"For real?" Shinji asked with genuine admiration. Outside of statistical outliers like Unohana and The Old Man, it was rare for a captain to hold their post for more than two centuries, and the average in the 11th more like 60 years.

Kenpachi waved his hand noncommitally. "One and a half. Tetsuzaimon Iba was really challenging his Mother by proxy." he corrected, head tilting with a jingle and Shinji realized the vertiginous hairstyle was there to support a dozen or so small bells, before the rest of the sentence caught up with him.

"Tetsuzaimon?" Shinji blinked. "Wasn't that what Chikane Iba was going to call her son?

"Yah." Zaraki nodded, sounding like a sleigh full of presents.

Shinji stared blankly. "But- but- She was still pregnant when I.. left? He’s an infant!

"Nah, Lieutenant Iba's a whole-ass man now." Zaraki looked over his shoulder. "Ay Iba-" he called to a robust man with sunglasses wearing the 7th Division's lieutenant's badge, currently engaged in picking up Ikkaku and moving him out of the way for the 4th division triage. "-How come you're spotless when my vice looks like someone fucked up at the abattoir?"

"Hi Captain Zaraki!" Iba waved back, , Ikkaku slung over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. "It's because he's a fucking idiot, sir!"

"FUCK YOU!" Ikkaku shrieked, flipping them off from where he hung awkwardly over his friend's shoulder.

"FUCK ME YOURSELF YOU COWARD!" Zaraki bellowed back.

Shinji watched the spectacle with wide eyes, slowly coming to an unpleasant realization, before slowly putting a hand on Kuchiki’s shoulder. "…Sojun." He sighed, using his colleauges given name with heavy morose. "I’m afraid we may be Old Men now."

Kuchiki turned and blinked at him, confused. "I’m Byakuya."

It was Shinji's turn to stare in confusion. "...Kuchiki Byakuya isn't even in the Academy yet?"

"No, I'm a captain now. Sojun, my father, died shortly after your disappearance." Apparently-Byakuya explained, arching a concerned eyebrow down at him.

"Fucking what." Shinji said flatly, feeling like he'd been drained of all color and redrawn with a sharpie by someone's off-hand.

"HAH!" Barked Zaraki. "Yer Old Fart, Tiger."

Byakuya scoffed up at Zaraki. "What’s that make you then?"

"An Ancient and Revered Relic, thank you." Kenpachi said, puffing up his chest in mock-pride.

"What's going on?" Nel asked Yachiru in a loud whisper.

"Bowlcut here is an old fart who is just now realizing that he's an old fart, but he’s younger than me, so he’s also a baby." Yachiru explained. "Either way, impressive bowel control for his age!"

"HEY!" Yelped Shinji.

"Drink ya Battle Victory juice, Tiger." Zaraki said, giving Shinji a consoling pat on the shoulder.

"...It's a bitter Juicy Juice I drink this day." Shinji sighed, disconsolately stabbing the box with the straw and drinking with despair.

[gloryhrs]

━━ ⟡ 𝓛𝐄𝐓 𝓣𝐇𝐄 𝓛𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝓘𝐍, kenpachi z.

✿.*･｡ ꒰ 𝐦. 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫, angst and fluff, soft n' sweet kenny who absolutely adorns and cares for his husband, yachi calls r. papa and kenny daddy, r. is extremely sick, pet name usage — [ sweets & darling ], sad kenny and yachi (•́︿•̀)‎, a little short + happy ending. ꒱

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Kenpachi Zaraki has never been in love before.

Just the thought of love made him sick, but that was before he met you. The light of his life, his husband. You were loved by everyone, especially Yachiru, who always dragged you along with her to participate in her daily activities.

You used to be seated under the fourth division; you loved helping people. Kenpachi knew that you had a big heart. Every time you saved a life, your heart would swell up. You always told him stories of how when the person whose life you saved said ‘thank you’ or hugged you, it made you feel good inside. But all of that was over. The day you were diagnosed with an unknown illness was the day both of your hearts were ripped out of your chest and stepped on. He remembered vividly how he held you that night and said to himself that there was a cure to your illness and it wasn’t serious.

But he was wrong.

The day you fainted on the way to your captain’s office was the day she recommended that you resign from your seat, claiming that your sickness was heavily more serious than you realized. Kenpachi raced to your side after hearing the news. Holding your hand as Unohana explained the potential negative outcomes of your illness. Which included fainting, losing your appetite, breaking out in a cold sweat, and other symptoms. When Unohana told everything to him, he felt pieces of himself shatter and break. But he remained hopeful that you will be fine. Unohana promised him that she'd come by every day to see if you were getting better or worse.

When she wasn't around, he was usually the one who looked after you. He took the role of cleaning you and changing your clothes. He would frequently carry you outside on his back, allowing you to get some fresh air because he didn't want you to be confined inside all day. He didn't care how many times you apologized and sobbed when you puked on the floor or ruined his clothes with your blood/mucus. He could never be angry with you for something you couldn't control. He wasn't there to lecture you or make you feel bad. He was there because he cared about you and wanted to help you in any way he could. After all, he was your husband; he was a tough person on the outside with others, but a softie on the inside when it came to you and Yachiru.

Kenpachi watched as you slept blissfully in his lap, your cheek against his hard yet comfortable chest. He wiped your cheeks and forehead with the cold washcloth, cleaning away the sweat. You’ve been sleeping all day and the man was currently ignoring his captain duties to visit and care for you. He didn’t care about the consequences; all he wanted was to be by your side. His thumbs stroked against your visible cheekbone; due to your condition, you had difficulty consuming anything without vomiting. Which meant you were only on a liquid diet. He drew the blanket over your shoulders, drawing you closer to him. When he heard the door open, he slowly shifted his attention to it, which was Yachiru with flowers.

After hearing of your illness, the poor girl's joyful and lively personality faded a little.

When the little girl went in, she didn't say anything but sit next to him, holding your favorite flowers. She set the plants down and moved closer, her hand going beneath the blanket to intertwine with yours. Kenpachi's eyes saddened at the sight in front of him; he had never seen Yachiru so low before. That must've meant you had made an effective impact on her life. “Did he wake up yet?” She asked, worried by your icy fingers and shallow breathing. Kenpachi shook his head, the only time you awoke was to use the restroom. Aside from that, you spent the entire day sleeping in his lap.

“Please, wake up papa. Me and Daddy miss you.” The pink-haired girl begged while she squeezed your hand. She missed playing with you and being carried on your shoulders by you. But you were now so weak that you couldn't even raise a cup. “Don’t you wanna play some more?”

Kenpachi frowned and kissed your brow, noting that this was the longest you'd ever slept. His eyes widened as he saw you stirring in your sleep, struggling to open your eyes. Kenpachi grabbed the washcloth and wiped away the bulit up crust in your eyes, thinking that was the reason you couldn’t open them. Yachiru tilted her head when she felt your cold hand squeezing hers, were you awake? “Papa?” She moved closer to get a better look at your face, her eyes widening when you hummed softly.

“Papa!” She perked up when you opened your soft e/c eyes that were still full of light. Kenpachi’s gaze relaxed when your lips formed a small smile, still looking as beautiful as ever. “Please don’t be so worried about me Yachi, I’m gonna be okay. I promise.” Your raspy voice surprised both shinigami, Kenpachi frowned, remembering that you hadn’t drink anything since last night. Considering that you would cough it up each time.

“I'll go get some water for you, Papa!” Yachiru announced, jumping to her feet to receive a cup. Once she left you returned your gaze to your husband. Who stared back at you as if were the most beautiful thing in the world. The first thing you noticed about him was his tired appearance. His hair was more messy than usual and he no longer wore his eye patch, which revealed the dark markings under his eyes. “Kenny, have you been getting any sleep?” You murmured his name as you caressed the dark bags under his eyes. Kenpachi didn't respond since he knew you'd scold him if he replied no. Instead, he smiled and kissed your forehead, leading you to laugh softly.

“I’m so glad that you’re awake. You had me so worried.” His lips brushed against yours before kiss them, the coldness caused him to slightly shiver. “I’m sorry, I hope I wasn’t distracting you from your captain duties lately.” You kissed the large scar on his face, making him lean into your touch even more. You hated when he worried about you so much, you didn’t want to feel like a burden to him.

“It’s okay, sweets. You don’t have to be sorry, it isn’t your fault. And what did I tell you? You’re more way more important than my duties as a captain. I’ll give everything up just to be with you.” He gave your forehead a kiss and squeezed your hand reassuringly. You stared into his eyes, that had nothing but love and warmth in them. “I love you, Kenny.” You smiled, feeling a stinging sensation in your eyes, you were on the verge of crying your eyes out.

Words couldn’t describe how much you loved this man. Kenpachi hummed and used his thumb to wipe away the tears now falling from your eyes. “I love you too, more than you could ever imagine.” He gave you a gentle smile before kissing your ring finger, the beautiful diamond ring sparkling in the light.

“Papa, I brought back the water!” Yachiru held the cup of refreshing liquid in her hand as you laughed at her excitement. The pink haired girl couldn’t even sit still knowing that you were awake. Kenpachi put his hand on your lower back and began to sit you up gently, letting the blanket slip off your body. Which revealed your extremely skinny body. You leaned your back against your husband’s chest as he dropped his arm around your waist.

“Thank you, Yachi. You’re such a sweetheart.”

You smiled at her and pinched her pink cheek, which resulted in her giggling and smiling brighter than usual. Kenpachi picked up the cup before pressing to your lips, the refreshing liquid running down your throat with ease. “Mhmm—I needed this.” You smiled and continued to drink the coldness, making your throat open back up.

As you continued to drink the water as Kenpachi eyed you softly—he was so glad you were up that he wanted to jump up and give you a bear hug. But he knew he had to be fragile with your delicate body. Yachiru watched you with tears gathering up in her beautiful brown eyes, she couldn’t believe her “dad” was now up and speaking after being sleep all day! As much as she tried to deny it, her mind was heading for the worst.

Yachiru wasn’t dumb, she knew you were losing hair, weight, and had a hard time eating. As much as you and Kenpachi tried to hide it from her. She still remembers vividly how she sobbed her eyes out when she eavesdropped on the news of your sickness. Which explains why she’s more clingy than usual, she wants to spend all the time with you before something bad happens.

Once you were finished with the drink you could feel the rough hands your husband—who pulled the cup away from your dry lips and placed it on the floor next to him. “Papa, your lips are so dry! Would you like to use some of my lip balm?!” Yachiru broke the silence as she pulled out the lip balm, which was decorated in monster high stickers. You and Kenpachi couldn’t help but laugh when the little girl called your lips dry and offered her lip balm to you.

“Here Yachi, give him this. This is the one he usually use.” Kenpachi smiled and handed her the lip balm, which was pink with glitter and decorated in my little pony stickers. “Yeah that’s the one—Kenny!” You laughed and lightly punched his chest as him and Yachiru burst into a fit of laughter at your reaction. “Daddy! Did you see his face?!” She giggled as she rolled on her back at the sight of your shocked and confused face. Kenpachi chuckled and wiped the imaginary tear from his eye while he tried to give you the lip balm, the genuine smile never leaving his face. This was the most happiest you’ve ever seen them since you became sick, which made your heart swell up.

And after that, you spent the rest of your day with your little family. You all went to spend time in the garden There was no way you were going to let your sickness stop you from spending quality time with your beloved husband and daughter.

© gloryhrs, 102123. — notes and reblogs are appreciated! (≧∇≦)

[normansnt]

s/c= skin color

Y/N= your name

L/N= last name

h/c= hair color

e/c= eye color

Comfortable

"Kenny! Wake up, Kenny!" Yelled the pink haired girl with slight panic in her voice."My, my, looks like Kenpachi finally got the fight he wanted" said a male voice walking towards the mountain of a man laying on the ground and the little girl sitting next to him.

Yachirus eyes lit up at seeing the s/c male."Y/N!!!, you're here! Now you can help Kenny!! You should have seen the fight, he was so happy and, and,..." the girl started to ramble to the male in the white Dr coat.

She didn't know that he was here as well, that he saw the whole thing worrying just slightly about Kenpachis safety. "Yes, I felt the fight Yachiru" said Y/N with a kind voice which was his normal voice really.

"Who ever he fought had amazing spiritual pressure, almost battling his own" smiled the h/c haired male slightly. "Are you hurt anywhere? Or is it just Patchi I need to fix up?" Asked Y/N L/N the head Dr and scientist at the soul society.

"No, no I am fine but please help Kenny he isn't answering" said the girl in sad tone. The dr's eyes softened "Do you want a hug perhaps?" Asked the e/c male.

Now, since Yachiru was raised by Kenpachi she was not that used to hugs nor that big fan of them since she rarely got them. But when Y/N got promoted to head Dr and got a lot of visits from Kenpachi due to his lack of care for his own safety they got close. And since Yachiru is hardly not by Kenpachis side she allso took a liking to the dr.Y/N hugs were totally different, they were the best. "Yes please" said the pink haired girl with a smile got up and hugged the male. After the hug Y/N got to work.

Of course he got here with his supplies, he heard about this Ichigo and all though he was confident in Kenpachis ability to fight he knew that as strong as he is he is just as reckless as well.

Yachiru sat beside him and started rambling about the fight and, anything really, what came to her mind.

That is the effect Y/N had on people, he made them feel comfortable with his kind eyes and beautiful smile, that is what Kenpachi always thought anyways. While the little girl was rambling Y/N let out "hmmm" and "aha" sounds to let the girl know he is listening.

"He always stares at you" said the girl suddenly, that caught the dr off guard "and when I tell him he should ask you to spend time with us he gets all red and mad and says he has no idea what I am talking about" Y/N could feel his cheeks lightly heat up but did his best to ignore it and focus on stitching Kenpachis wounds. "Really now?" Asks the male. "Uhu and he is even more reckless when fighting like he wants to end up wounded its actually funny" giggled the little girl. "How so?" Asked the man also smiling slightly "He likes you so much he gets hurt on purpose so he can visit you"

Y/N stopped his movements and looked at the pink haired little girl. He thought she was just observing Kenpachis behavior but he had no idea she understood what they mean. "You think so?" Asked the man obliviously. "Come on there is no way you don't see it". Its true Y/N did see it. He was a smart man after all. But since Kenpachi had a hard time opening up and connecting to people on an emotional level he wanted to give him time and not force anything on him. "Yes, well Im gonna give him space, Im sure he will get the courage eventually, or you will force him to it" laughed Y/N slightly. "Damn right I will, we need to have more tee parties together that can only happen if you are always there with us" smiled the girl happily. The male smiled at her, he really saw her as a daughter and nothing would make him happier if she, Kenpachi and him could be a family, but everything in its own time. Now he was happy to tend to his wounds and talk for hours after they were both off work, Kenpachi waited for Y/N sometimes (very often) claiming that Yachiru misses him. They never get to Yachuri, though because they start talking and end up staying well past midnight doing so. Kenpachi may be a man of few words but when with Y/N, as said before even he feels comfortable.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

OMG MY FIRST ONESHOT😱😱

I really hope its not boring and you guys like it I was watching the episode today (I know Im shockingly at the beginning) but I am SO in love with Kenpachi and there is not a lot of male!reader stuff w him😢 anyways after was watching the episode this idea popped into my mind so yeah here we are my first one shot hope you guys like it even if only one person liked it that's a job well done in my opinion so

Hope you enjoyed reading ladies gentleman and others good afternoon good evening and good night🦖

[aarcanechaoss]

I had a terribly funny Bleach thought / idea

And for the purpose of this idea we’re just gonna pretend Kaoru is my only bleach OC

We know at least in the Serireitei they have computers and of course there’s the phones and shit they use to track hollows etc.

So we’re going to assume they’ll eventually decide to keep up with human technology while still using shit they know.

Anyway yeah computers exist and now soul smart phones that’s the gist.

But I’m not done

Someone, some young soul reaper’s perhaps, even some random people they’ve met all around Soul Society heard about a fun little thing that humans do called Fanfiction… and decided to give it a go

About the Soul Reapers they know of- Captain’s Lieutenant’s etc.

Eventually others find it, some think it’s weird and others dive right in too….

Eventually the poor Captains, Lieutenants + some find out.

MENTIONS SMUT

Scene

Kaoru is sitting in Zaraki’s office with Yumichika and Ikkaku just figuring out their new phones and making sure they all know how it works (let’s be real Yumichika and Kaoru already know but they’re helping Ikkaku and Kenny out) and lets say Yachiru is off on one of her adventures.

Yumichika, the poor man, screams and goes rather pale.

“What the hell is this!” Followed by “My eyes are burning.”

“What’s gotten into you?” The Captain grunts.

“Yeah what’s wrong with you?” Follows Ikkaku.

Kaoru however pries the device from his hands to see a page called “Fanfiction Society.” She frowns and scrolls down the page.

“Oh.” Her hand covers her mouth as she reads on. “…what did you even search for find this?”

“My name.” He says dramatically.

“And you somehow found a ten-k word story about you and-”

“Don’t say it out loud.” Yumichika gags. “I’d never do such depraved things with a brute like him.”

“So you read enough to know how … oh … would that position even work with two guys?”

“What the fuck are you reading?” Ikkaku looks appalled.

“Something called Fanfiction.” She taps away at the search on her own phone while throwing Yumichika’s back- said man was still gagging. “Fanfiction… stories written about people, fictional or real some include reader inserts and others original characters… poor Yumi here just found one about you two.”

Kaoru was trying so hard to keep it together as Ikkaku’s eyes bulged.

“I would never.”

“Oh look someone wrote something cute about your friendship aw.” She says now scrolling through the site. “It’s called Cross my heart- the third and fifth seats of squad eleven have known each other a long time… but just how did they meet let’s write our own story.”

Zaraki looked both incredibly pissed off, bored and amused all at once. How? She couldn’t tell you.

“Why the hell would anyone write that?” Yumichika pouted.

“I dunno- oh hey look there’s a whole tag on the Captains…. Oh even creepazoid Mayuri has some gross.”

“Why are you still looking!” Ikkaku exclaimed.

“Curious.” She shrugs before a snort rips from her. “Damn they got me too.”

“Oh this’ll be good.” Yunichika’s gagging seemed to have stopped at least.

She scrolls further, electing to not say mention the number of threesomes she’d just scrolled by not only with Ikkaku and Yumichika but apparently whoever was writing these - howlingforakiyama was the name she saw the most- decided she needs to be sandwiched between Captain’s Kyoraku and Ukitake…. Or have her legs over Captain Kyoraku’s shoulders…and have her head between Soifon’s thighs… another with Yumichika and even more Shunsui Kyoraku x Kaoru Akiyama (she did not want to know what dual wielder sword play meant).

A moment later and she choked, dropping her phone into her lap as a snort ripped from her.

“What is it now woman?”

“It would never work.” She said between wheezes, shoulders shaking as her arms wrapped around her belly.

It was Yumichika’s turn to glance at her phone though warily before he also burst out laughing.

“Woman.” The Captain grunted.

“Captain you’re a joy but I- hahah- I would never.” She choked the words out through her full body laughter. “I’d never sleep with you I- HahahHA.”

“The fuck does that mean?” He growled out more confused than annoyed.

“You’d fucking impale me.” She takes in a ragged breath.

The man blinks- and she thinks this is the first time she’s ever seen him look so… confusingly normal.

“Impale?” Ikkaku looks flabbergasted.

“I am five-foot-three and he is six-foot-six.” She sucks in a breath. “I’d die.”

“Oh my… there’s quite a few of you with each of us and more with Captain Kyoraku.”

She snorts again. “Please don’t click on the dual wielder sword play tag I don’t want to know what that means.”

Somewhere across the Seireitei.

Shunsui sneezes. “Man a beautiful woman must be thinking about me.” He says before scrolling his phone and thoroughly enjoying his new reads.

[kyokutsu-sama]

Hi everyone🤗

I've been received a few requests about how captains would react if they found out their s/o was pregnant or how they would they react to their birthday. Here are some headcanons to answer to all these requests and sorry for the delay by the way🙏😅

Characters: Shunsui, Kenpachi, Jushiro, shinji and Byakuya

Headcanons: Bleach characters with a pregnant reader

-----------------------------------------------

Shunsui never thought that one day he would have the opportunity to become a father, but when he found out that you were carrying his child in your belly, he felt happier than ever.

Now he has a reason to convince Nanao to let him have party and drink all night to celebrate.

Shunsui was always by your side although he had some doubts about babies and children and sometimes he asked his friend Jushiro or even Nanao for advice.

You also explained some things to him so that he would do well when his son was born.

When his son was born, his heart almost melted with that scene. It was a little boy. Shunsui took him in his arms and smiled.

"I'm proud of this boy and you Y/n. I can't wait for him to grow up a little more so he can drink sake with me"

He always had a little joke to make until Nanao came in and punched him.

This man is already a big child so you were going to have two children at home now.

He was a little confused and doubtful when you told him you were pregnant, but after the shock he smiled at you.

He was very playful with you and always hugged you.

Deep down, this was all to disguise the lack of knowledge about what he should do when the child was born.

He once tried to ask Hiyori a few things, but she, instead of answering, called him irresponsible and scolded him for not knowing anything about such a serious matter.

He chose to seek information elsewhere and this made him more aware of the situation and so he would not be so misinformed anymore.

When his son was born he almost fainted. After that little "heart attack" he sat beside you with his little boy on his hands.

"Look at him Y/n, he'll be handsome like his dad and have an army of girls chasing him"

You laughed at what you said and he laughed along with you and kissed your forehead hugging you.

He was always very focused on his work and never thought of having a child even though the two of you were together after so long.

You hesitated for a moment to tell him the news but then you lifted your head and walked over to him to told him.

He looked at you without saying a word although you were smiling slightly at him waiting for his answer.

He went to you and held your hands looking into your eyes it was in his eyes that you saw the answer you were looking for. He was happy.

"I'll be by your side, you don't need to be worried about anything Y/n"-he said hugging you

And he was. He knew more or less what to do after looking for information so that he was ready to receive his son.

He was by your side while you gave birth to the most precious girl in his life.

He held her in his arms carefully while he walked over to hug you.

"She is so beautiful Y/n. I will always be here to protect her from everything"

This man may be the most bloodthirsty and violent person that exists but one thing is for sure: he loves children.

You were sitting on the futon waiting for him to come home to tell him the news.

When he arrived and you told him you were pregnant he kept silent for a moment and then he smiled. He picked you up on his shoulder and went back into the bedroom to lay you down on the futon.

"You have to rest so that this child is born healthy to fight with me later"

Yachiru was also very happy when he heard that you were going to have Kenny's child.

Kenpachi didn't know anything about what he had to do when his son was born and so he asked Ikkaku and Yumichika to help him and they agreed.

When you were giving it to Kenpachi he was even a little scared to see you screaming and bleeding something he only used to see in his fights.

You gave birth to a girl and he had no reaction after seeing that beautiful girl who had just come into the world. He approached you and took it from your hands into his hands. She was so tiny and delicate in his hands. Ikkaku and Yumichika were peeking through the half-open door and both their hearts were melting from the cuteness.

"I will train her and make her the strongest girl in Seireitei"- he said with his typical sadistic smile

Yachiro spotted the two of you and climbed onto Kenpachi's shoulders to see his daughter. She smiled with happiness after seeing the little girl that was in Kenpachi's hands.

This man is the truly definition of the "best dad ever"

He LOVES children and just thinking that one day he could become a father made his heart soften.

One day you were sitting with him on his Ugendo and you told him that you were pregnant. He almost cried with happiness. He hugged you tight and gave you lots of kisses while expressing his happiness.

He had a lot of knowledge about what he had to do to make sure everything went well and that his son was born healthy and safe.

Sentaro and Kiyone fought every day to see who would best take care of their captain's son.

When you were giving birth, Jushiro was by your side holding your hand and never letting go. When he first saw his boy he felt a few tears run down his face. He held the boy in his hands and then hugged you kissing your forehead.

"Thank you Y/n for bringing our boy into the world. I love you and our son so much"

[animeloverskylarmoon]

Kenpachi Zaraki (Bleach) Chapter 4

Kenpachi and Yachiru's shenanigans never stopped. The pair would show up out of nowhere. At first it started in your barracks practice hall. But then it was your captain's hall, and then your room. One night you'd entered and they were just sitting in your room having tea like they owned the place.

You almost activated your bankai that night. But you restrained yourself. You didn't need to give him another reason to continue chasing.

It was exhausting enough right now.

One particular night, you'd even found yourself cooking for them.

"Do you like ramen Yachiru-chan?"

"Hai!!"

You smiled, cutting the vegetables and meat until it dawned on you.

"W-What the hell am I doing!! I should be trying to get them to leave!!"

It seems that you'd gotten so used to them being around that your body naturally started to take care of them. You sulked as you presented the meal on the table.

"Hmm? Spikey-chan why are you sad? Did you forget the meat again?"

"It's nothing." You mumbled placing your own bowl down as you began to eat.

It was a little weird. It felt like a family dinner. Yachiru swallowed her noodles briskly and a smile worked it's way on your face as you used a napkin to wipe off the excess droplets.

"You're making a mess Yachiru-chan. Eat slowly or you'll choke." You lectured.

"Gomen, your food is just really good." She praised.

"Thank you."

Your eyes shifted to Kenpachi who was just watching you. When you looked down you were shocked that he'd already finished the bowl. You hadn't even heard him take one slurp.

"I guess he is dangerous in more ways than one."

"Would you like some more Zaraki-taicho?" He closed his eyes, holding out the bowl. You chuckle, taking it to get some more.

Yachiru leaned over while you were occupied, whispering in Kenpachi's ear.

"Ken-chan, you should make her your wife. Then we could have meals like this forever."

"Tch, who needs the hassle of a wife."

"Aww come on Ken-chan, if you don't hurry someone might steal her." Kenpahi's arms were folded, and when you returned, Yachiru leaned away.

"Can I have more too!"

"Of course."

You placed his bowl down, patting her head as you took hers. His eyes moved to the hot bowl of soup.

"I guess in a weird way I'm protective of him."

That's what you said about Hanataro. He didn't get why it was on his mind lately. In a way he could relate. Yachiru was someone he valued more than his own life.

"Damn shrimp."

Kenpachi took the chopstick and stuck it into the bowl for the noodles. But the ceramic crumbled under the force and you jolted at the sound.

"O-Oi!! Don't break my stuff!"

You went on a tangent for the rest of the night and Yachiru laughed as Kenpachi used the defense that the bowl was just a weakling.

[crimsonlyinglilly]

AMOW 4. "Monster! Monster!" / Caged

Day four of AMonthOfWhump's March Trope-a-Thon.

Elijah gets a break, as I return to Bleach and Shared custody.

AU summary- Uryuu was taken by squad 12 members alongside Souken's soul on the day he was attacked.

Tensions and events in Seireitei led to Uryuu facing his past.

---

Uryuu’s hands pressed against the glass, attempting to use the cold feeling to ground him against the growing panic, he wasn’t sure how or why he had ended back here.

He had noticed the new members of the squad two that had appeared after the attack at the gate, likely to watch him in case he showed any sympathy to the ryoka.

Which itself was stupid, and a waste of manpower, after years he had spent following their rules, healing their people, the only person he would side with was father and he was too smart to risk coming for him.

Uyruu had long learned to smother the longing wish that he would come, if he did it would just lead to the last of his family dying likely in the same place he was once again trapped.

But none of that explained why he was back in the glass case that had served as his cell in the earliest months in soul society until Yachiru had found him

It was meant to be shattered, even on the times he had been forced back to the lab ‘for checkups’, it was never there. The monster had gleefully shown him his new cage if the head captain decided to return Uryuu to his care.

“Let me out.” a child’s voice pleaded suddenly cause Uryuu to jump and turn around the child that hadn’t been there.

As he stared he realised the child shouldn’t possibly be there at all as he found himself looking down at his past self. He hadn’t notice how much he had grown until he took in the fact his younger self barely reached his chest height.

Uryuu froze as the glass vanished for a moment as a hand with long black nails appeared to grasp his younger’s arm and ripped him from the case with ease.

“No, no no, let me go.” the boy screamed in panic, and Uryuu struggled to swallow around the lump of terror that climbed his throat.

“So picky and here I thought you wanted to come out.” the monster grumbled to himself ignoring the desperate movement from the boy he was dragging towards the table.

Uryuu’s breath failed as he heard the voice and his lungs hurt, begging for him to take a breath but he couldn’t, he was stuck watching as his worst nightmares was suddenly playing in front of his eyes.

A syringe appeared in the monster’s hand and with little care entered his younger self’s neck taking what little fight he could put up, Uryuu flinched, the days without Nemu was alway worst she always used a little more than necessary, giving him a little escape from the pain and horror.

He looks so small when the monster places him on the table, screams lost to quiet whimpers, useless pleas and desolate crying.

Then he notices the woman standing behind the scene isn’t Nemu, as she sees his attention she smiles at him growing taller from the lieutenant’s height to her normal towering stature.

Yudokuna.

It takes him a little longer to realise what was different from her normal appearance, Uryuu stiffened as red-gold eyes met his blue, her golden mask was missing leaving her eyes clear and the usual markings around her eyes were open, giving her eight to his two.

She stepped away from the ease in loud echoing footsteps walking towards the glass he was still caged in, all three pair of her arms visible and unhidden for once  

"Monster! Monster!" The remains of the child he once was whimpered from the table and Uryuu wasn’t sure if it was still stuck in the nightmare facing the monster that had taken them, killed grandfather a second time on that table and  taken him apart, or was voicing thoughts about the appearance of the other half of his soul.

She had hidden most of her spider traits when he was younger showing them more as he grew, he had found comfort in them, spiders ate butterflies.

“Wake up. ” she whispered, as she laid hand on the glass above him, the golden tipped nails scratching the glass, the sound filling across the room and covering the whimpers from his past self.

He woke up, throwing himself up and away from his bed to take a deep breath as he took in the difference from the dark lab and his daylight lit room.

Now he remembered; he had taken a nap to prepare for the chance he’d be called to deal with any injuries caused in squad 11 after they had announced an impromptu party/brawl after Captain Ichimaru had beaten them to the gate.

It was a dream he told himself as he took deep breaths, just a dream, it was obvious now he was awake but trapped in his mind it felt so real.  

His Zanpakutō spirit materialised beside him leaning down to look at him with concern, mask lifted up to sit more like a crown over her hair but only looking at him with her normal two gold-red eyes..

Before she could speak a crack interrupted them and they looked up out of the window to see the sky above Seireitei away. He watched as the barrier broke and something passed though holding for a moment before it broke apart and started to fall to the ground in pieces. 

‘Not pieces’ he thought, ‘groups’ as he could pick out different reiatsu of seven people.

The thousand voices started hissing in his mind as he fled their rush of excitement and Yudokuna’s concerned looks was slowly overtaken by a wide smile showing off her sharp fangs, the markings around her eyes started to open again. 

He reached out to pull her mask back down to cover her face.

“Not yet.” he warned her, they had too much attention on him to do anything at the moment but even as he spoke he couldn’t help the growing uncertainty as he noticed something achingly familiar about one of now falling ryoka’s reiatsu.

It couldn’t be.

Father?

---

Tomorrow should be a return to Elijah, the soulmarks AU and a lighter fill.

[bleachanimefan1]

Bleach Shadow Redux Part 8

Squad 12's Captain, Mad Scientist Mayuri Kurotsuchi,

After saying goodbye to Yumichika, Akari headed over to Squad 1's barracks. She stopped at the large sliding doors in front of her, hesitating on whether she should go in. She wanted to talk with her father, at least try to make up with him. She can do this. She cleared her throat announcing herself.

"Um, dad. It's me. May I come in?"

"Come in." She heard her father's deep and stern voice. Akari opened the door and stepped inside his office to see her father sitting down at his desk, writing and filling out some papers. Akari slowly walked over until she stood in front of him. Yamamoto still hadn't looked at her since she came in as he continued on the paperwork.

"Hey...dad. Thought I'd drop in." Akari smiled. "Do you want to play a game of shogi, like old times?"

The head captain didn't answer her, making Akari a little angrier. She slammed her hands on the desk with a loud thud and the head captain paused for a second before continuing with what he was doing, ignoring her once more.

"Talk to me!"

"I don't have time for this-"

Then a tall older man stepped into the room, heading towards Yamamoto and Akari. He had pupil-less eyes, tan skin, short silver grey hair and a small black mustache. He wore a white jinbaori over his shihakusho that had a white turtleneck and white arm guards. On his upper left arm, he had a Lieutenant arm band. Chojiro Sasakibe. His eyes widen a little in surprise, seeing Akari. "Chojiro."

"Akari. It's wonderful to see you again."

"Thanks that's good to hear coming from you unlike someone..."

"If you have nothing important to say, you may leave." Akari clenched her fists and turned back to the head captain.

"You know what, I'm done. You're never going to change. I don't know why I think you would. I thought you would be happy and relieved to see me back, but I guess I was wrong." She stomped out and slammed the door behind her, leaving.

"She looks so much like her mother. She's definitely inherited her wild rambunctious attitude." Chojiro commented.

"That's what scares me." Yamamoto sighed. "She's reckless like her mother."

Kenpachi was walking in the Seireitei heading back to the squad 11 barracks when he heard Yachiru call out to him. "Hey Kenny!" She hopped down from the rooftop, landing on his shoulder. "You're never going to guess who stopped by!" Kenpachi continued to walk as she rode on his back.

"Is it one of those idiots?" Kenpachi asked referring to Ikkaku and Yumichika. Yachiru shook her head.

"No! It's our newest member! Did you forget her already!?" Yachiru shouted.

"That woman? What did she want?" Kenpachi wondered.

"Well, she wanted to fight you but I told her that you stepped out for a bit." Yachiru told him. "As I was coming back from Bya-Kun

"Say what now?" Kenpachi asked, surprised.

"Yeah! I saw her being dragged away by Nemmy!" He had a bad feeling about this. Kenpachi stayed silent for a moment before he continued on, walking a little faster before he flash stepped and was now running.

"Kenny, where are you going?" Yachiru asked him.

"Maybe I should stop by my secret hideout. It always helps me cool down after an argument." Akari murmured to herself as she walked. "I wonder if it's still there."

"My captain has asked to see you." A soft low monotonous voice spoke. Akari jumped, completely startled, and saw a pale woman with deep green eyes. Her dark hair was pulled back in a braided ponytail with slightly parted short bangs. She wore a short black kimono that reached to her mid thighs with puffier upper sleeves, white gloves, a white obi fastened by a red cord and a dark red choker. On her left arm there was a Lieutenant armband.

"Uh, I'm kind of busy at the moment. Maybe later." Akari told her about to leave when the woman grabbed Akari's arm, stopping her.

"My captain has asked to see you. You mustn't disappoint him." 

"Let go of me, you weirdo!" Akari shouted. Then Akari felt a sharp jab to her neck when the woman injected her with something with a needle. Akari felt her whole body slowly going numb unable to move a muscle. The woman quickly took the advantage and body slammed Akari to the ground, pinning her down. Akari's vision went black as she blacked out.

Akari groaned as she slowly opened her eyes adjusting to the lights from the many computers in the slightly dark room. She was sprawled out on a lab table and saw the woman and the creepy man from the meeting room. Akari was starting to get a little more feeling in her fingers and legs as her body fought against the poison. She remained still to look helpless, trying not to draw suspicion, hearing the two talking to each other. "Captain, I brought her just as you asked." The woman slightly bowed to the man. The 12th division captain leered down at Akari with a wide grin painted on his face, seeing that she was awake, before turning back to his assistant.

"Very good, Nemu. Maybe you aren't a good for nothing after all. You may leave." He waved for her to go, and she quietly left the room, leaving Akari alone with him.

"Who the hell are you?" Akari demanded.

"My, my such language to address to your superior officer, especially to a captain. We'll have to fix that." Mayuri chuckled. "You may know me as, Mayuri Kurotsuchi. I am the captain of the 12th division of Research and Development. You my dear, interest me. How was your body able to sustain its current form after all these years?"

"I already told you and the other captains. I was stuck in a crystal." Akari frowned, narrowing her eyes at him, watching his every movement. She had to get out of here fast!

"I am also surprised that you're able to talk at all with the paralytic poison in your body." He reached over to a table that had a tray with some surgical tools on it and picked up a saw. "I'm going to have so much fun dissecting you!"

"Wait! Stop!"

The door slammed open, revealing Kenpachi as he stormed into the lab. Yachiru was silently watching as she hung onto his shoulder.

"Hey, Mayuri, who gives you the right to go and experiment on other squads' members other than your own, especially mine!" Kenpachi growled. However, his eyes widen a little in shock to see Mayuri grasping his arm in pain as his severed limb laid on the floor and Akari standing in front of him with her sword drawn.

"You little! How dare you!-" Mayuri hissed, furiously.

"Keep your grubby hands to yourself!" Akari growled, threateningly.

"Looks like you've got yourself handled." Kenpachi smirked, making a small laugh. Mayuri quickly rushed over to a set of drawers and opened one and pulled out a syringe injecting himself with it. His groaned painfully as a newly formed arm began to grow, replacing his missing limb. He panted, glaring dangerously at Akari.

"Oh, it grows back? That's great. So, I don't have to feel bad then." Akari said, smiling.

"Zaraki! I demand punishment for this!" He shouted.

"You brought this on yourself. I have nothing to do with this." Kenpachi told him then he looked at Akari. "You. We're heading back. Come on." He turned and walked away, leaving the room with Yachiru. "Right behind you." Akari quickly followed behind him, leaving as well.

Mayuri growled as he watched the two left before he heard his computer beep. While Akari was unconscious, Mayuri had managed to draw some blood from her. He walked over to it and saw that it had finished uploading the data. His eyes scanned the screen reading the results before they went wide in shock. He let out a mad cackle before he smirked.

"Well, now, this is very interesting, indeed."

[mizumiii]

VII - An old tale

Previous part - Table of contents - Next part

Fem!Reader x Kenpachi Zaraki

This is the last part for now. I wanted to write a smut part but ran out of envy before doing it. Maybe it'll come back when the second part of the last season will be airing \o/.

You woke up in an almost familiar place. Since all the Gotei 13’s divisions were built on the same model, you easily understood that you had made it alive and back. Which was hard to believe. A lot of conflicted emotions overwhelmed you for a long time, making you unable to do anything else than stare at the ceiling while holding back your tears.

— Such incredible will, I now understand Zaraki’s interest towards you… 

— Who are…you? You  asked in vivid emotion because at the exact moment, your eyes saw her, you realised that you knew her.

— It has been a long time my gentle fox…

Soft but mendacious, tender but deadly, feminine and strong; that was the voice of your one and only. No, not yours, the fox's. 

— You must be lost, allow me to introduce myself to you,  the vessel of my lovely pet. Since there is no reason to hide it from you, for I am Yachiru Unohana, the first Kenpachi. 

At the exact moment, you heard that name, you knew that you had fucked up. Widely fucked up. 

— But that means… You? But Zaraki? Your mind was an utter mess while the fox in your mind was melting in sweetness as you had never felt any. 

A secretive smile from that woman was enough to calm you down instantly. The fox in you was yearning so hard for her recognition that you had a hard time not bowing your head to earn some caresses. 

— You are not the first one to inherit the will of my fox, however, you are the first one to be able to remain sane with it. For that, I thank you and will explain everything to you.

For the next hour, you heard the tale of the first Kenpachi, how they had been alone for a very long time until she met a terrible kitsune rampaging in the Soul Society. She had succeeded in mating it, but not after a gruesome fight that had made their soul unable to part. Until the day she had been defeated by Zaraki Kenpachi. Not long after, the kitsune died too and fell into the cycle of reincarnation. However, none of those who had received its soul had  been able to withstand his crazy bloodthirst and call for revenge, falling into insanity before being shut down by the shinigami. Until you.

At the end of the story, you came to a realisation. Your cheeks flushed as you hid in your hands. Had you been taking out your anger on an innocent man (as much as Kenpachi could be called innocent)? At least now you knew what had happened and why the fox was feeling like this. But you had fallen for the story your mother had told you and you had even held the captain responsible for everything… 

After that incident, it took you a whole week before getting the confidence to confront Kenpachi about what you had learned. You finally went to the usual place to find him napping without a care in the world. The situation was unexpected, and you decided to sit down not too far since you had earned a bit more time before your execution. 

It was very odd to see him after learning the truth. You still had that burning sensation, however, the fox was no longer bloodthirsty about him, it was more like it was unhappy at his sight. So why did you feel so warm? 

— Fuck, I’m so stupid, you groaned with your face in your hands. 

— I did not bring you back to hear you lamenting, Kenpachi yawned without care. 

— What? Did you come looking for me? 

That story was getting even worse. You already felt guilty about your unjustified anger, and now you had to thank him for still being alive(dead)?!

— I could sense you getting your ass kicked even from here, he laughed hard, but I’m the only one who gets that privilege.

He had suddenly reverted to a serious tone and face at the end of his sentence. Your cheeks started to heat so hard…

— I guess I owe you thanks… And an apology…

You were choleric, aggressive and hard to befriend, however, you were honest to the core. Even if it cost you a great deal to say those few words. Nonetheless, it looked like it was even harder to hear for the captain.

— What stupid, useless nonsense are you spouting? Did you not hear me? I haven’t done it for you, but for myself!

Your mouth half-opened in front of such hypocrisy, before briefly laughing. That man was unbelievable… It was now obvious to you, now that you were no longer blinded by your anger and regrets. You were burning for him. Only you knew that it would never reach him the conventional way. You will need to do it your way, the fighting way. 

— Don’t you think I’ll go easy on you because you saved my ass once! You claimed while jumping on your feet.

— I would kill you if you tried! He smirked.

You smiled at him, before realising all the both of you would ever understand were battle and blood. He did the same, returning your smile. 

[xxj0kerxx]

he scoffed at her words and huffed through his nose. "no. this isn't a proper greeting. out of all people, you should know what it means to properly greet someone." blades crossing and blood being spilled. they were like animals. savages that weren't bound to such codes. they only understood one thing. the fight. zaraki clutched the side, digging his hand underneath his shihakusho, the wound was still tender. no amount of lousy kido would heal him quick enough to go back into battle. the adrenaline within him was dead, he could truly feel what that kid did to him. the spiritual pressure that came off of the orange-haired punk, he never saw it coming. how much reiatsu could be contained within him, hidden and tucked away till the very last second. "and so what if sosuke died?" he spoke a dead man's name so lightly. "it was because he was weak. anyone who dies is weak." the hall turned dead, the medics shocked at what they heard come spouting out of the captain's mouth, but they heard him well enough to not mistake it.

he was already having a hard time breathing, and the more he stood, the more his tall legs wobbled, unable to keep his weight up as he clutched against the wall. "all i've done ever since i got here was think... there must be a reason why you kept me alive all this time." just then, he felt yachiru's soft touch on his hand, pulling him in an attempt to stop before he truly got hurt but his stare never broke away from the 4th captain. anyone with some sense in their mind would run away in fear, but not him. unlike her, the ryoka was a softie. he saw it in his eyes. "i've only been defeated twice in my life and each time i was kept alive for some reason. it's humiliating being able to wake up. to be reminded that i lost." water swells in his eyes as his heart beats faster. "i've always wanted to get better so i can beat you one day. i crave for more power!" zaraki stares at his hand, fingers curled into themselves. "but it only feels like i've gotten weaker to the opponents that matter."

          she inhales , a deep . . . slow breath . through her nose and settling into burning lungs . she releases it with a weight . the whole of her body seeming to drag down . shoulders slouching , a deep frown coming to her lips . a tantrum , here ? right now . . . of all times ? it was cruel of her to be impatient with him , when this pathetic state of his was her fault . her own failure to match the potential of the wild beast which fell upon her all those years ago . retsu had been unable to return what he'd gifted her , a worthy fight . now even an infant storming through their home could defeat him . yet truly , he could not have chosen a worse time . ❝ captain zaraki . . . ❞ she begins in a slow , patient tone . ( this this itself is a warning ) . ❝ listen to yourself . has defeat wrecked your pride so thoroughly ― that you've been this wounded by me not stopping to greet you ? ❞

          she turns her gaze sternly forward , rolling her shoulders back as she lifts herself once more . there simply wasn't time for her to deal with this right now . . . an unruly little boy upset that she hasn't given him the attention he desired - nevermind that she wasn't even sure what it is he wished for - would need to wait . the corpse of sousuke aizen still lie waiting in her morgue . the very memory of which , unsettled her . a certain wrongness which she could not place surrounded that body . deciphering the reason for it remained her top priority . ❝ we have already lost one captain today . . . i assure you i would grieve you - as i do all our lost - so please return to your treatment . ❞

[tockzy]

Heya boys, girls and everything in-between or out-between (comedic genius I know) I'm gonna give y'all another one of those RWBY/Bleach crossover things sometime but for now please accept this little filler follow-up post to the first one while I figure some stuff out for a suggested idea. On we go!

So, today I'm just gonna place the girls of Team RWBY in squads and what position they'd be (bar Blake but I'll still talk about her.) Please note that they might end up in other squads and thus sorta ruin their team dynamic, however I'm just gonna say fuck that anyways and have them be posted on missions together all the time (again excluding Blake for now, I might talk some bit about their little story arcs further down the line.)

Ruby: So! It's been a moment since I've really looked into the different philosophies of each squad but I feel like our little punk aesthetic ball of sunshine would either end up in squad 13 or squad 5 (post Aizen with Shinji). Squad 13 is obviously because of Ukitake (or Rukia if you prefer Weiss parallels lol.) she'd fit right in with their very homely and welcoming vibe and I'd say she'd probably be 5th or 4th seat. Shinji's squad five is for an entirely different reason, that being that Shinji is a little shit with huge Uncle Qrow energy (before he kicked his alcoholism) and the pure Chaos she could bring to a squad like that would be GLORIOUS! Also she's Lieutenant material in this one don't @ me. Like Hinamori is great but after Aizen I think it'd be good to denote her to 3rd seat to ease her stress some.

Weiss: Squad 6. That's all.... What? You want a reason? Ugh, fine. Byakuya and her would get along great, and Renji... Has... Big.. Ruby energy okay I'm sensing a pattern here in me putting these two in different squads with characters similar to their partners and I PROMISE it's accidental lmao. Anyways she'd be 3rd seat because there is no way I'm demoting Renji.

Blake: now, if you saw my first post you'd know I said she'd be an arrancar, and I'm sticking to that here. However I will explain where she'd rank in Aizen's Army (with maybe a "hypothetical" shinigami squad placement.) So, she'd replace Aaroniero as espada number 9. And before you guys get upset with me placing her so low or ranking her so "weak" (she's still an above captain level fighter, just not OP like Ulquiorra and above) hear me out. She's a speed and tactics fighter like Aaroniero but her ability would be a bit more hax than just eating hollows and getting their abilities. Plus, in the show she's not a power type fighter, and putting her at number 5 or something wouldn't make sense in my mind since she'd figure out a way to outsmart the soul reapers instead. Anyways, yeah, she's an espada. Her fracciones would be Illia and Adam, though Adam would get killed at some point (most likely by Yang, with hidden assistance by Blake? Eh?) now for her squad placement it'd have to be squad 3 because of their symbol and what it represents (I don't remember off the top of my head rn because it's been so long)

Yang: oh boy, here's the one I bet you've all been waiting for. The sunny dragon is 110% in squad 11. I will hear no other suggestions (that's a lie I will) Why you ask? Her and Kenny would be unstoppable and that's that. Her rank? Lieutenant. Why? Cuz she's a bad bitch.

That's all folks! If you guys have any suggestions/opinions on where I put the girls don't be afraid to like, mass reblog or blow up my inbox or something. I'd love to actually start some discussions on this stuff. I will be posting more stuff on this concept sometime but right now I'm still working out some stuff for other posts.

[unohanadaydreams]

This is an offering to the Byakuya loving masses who I neglect like 99.9% of the time: here are some Byakuya as an uncle HCs. I don’t really have much further to say re: Byakuya as a dad rn but hopefully this will make up for it.

Your persistence in the ask box for more dad!Byakuya has finally been heard but also not answered at all.

Features: mentions of renruki, Ichika ofc, and Byakuya being an uncle.

BYAKUYA AS AN UNCLE (TO ICHIKA) HEADCANONS

For Byakuya, there’s much preparation to be done.

His mansion is old elegance, so child proofing is done quickly. Empty rooms are common. Decoration and furniture are designed to be moved with ease already. There are plenty of staff on hand to smooth down wooden corners and put up the ‘baby gates’.

The real production lies in Byakuya, himself. He invites Renji and Rukia to bring Ichika over to tea. He practices holding her correctly. He gauges their reaction when she spits up what he would deem ‘too much’ milk, but their reaction is only to laugh at the mess juxtaposed with Byakuya’s concerted non-reaction.

There’s also the supplies to consider! He invites them over so he can rub blankets against her cheek and divine which Admiral Seaweed stuffie she likes best. How soundly does she sleep with the cherry blossoms spinning overhead versus the koi fish? What style of doll does she grab with more vigor?

Discerning the preferences of a baby is tireless sport.

As she grows into a toddler, he finds himself less happy to play toys with her. He realizes it’s unfair.

But, her sudden ability to choose how the little geisha dolls will spend their pretend days clashes heavily with their schedule that he and smaller, baby Ichika made.

He compromises by opening a competing tea shop right next to the one he and Ichika had first established, with a new set of geisha dolls. They were now rivals and Byakuya was obviously running the superior shop, with more organized entertainment, but Ichika certainly thought otherwise.

And in terms of creative innovation, her haphazard strokes of bright paint in the interior gave her a modern edge. His shop sign was better, though.

She agreed on the sign and Ichika did like calligraphy. The large brush and purposeful movements caught her eye and made her reach out her arms to try. Those attempts weren’t good. But Byakuya found he couldn’t help but keep them.

Sometimes he catches his staff remarking on the similarities of Yachiru versus Ichika, but Byakuya thinks those are superficial at best. Yes, they are both young girls with a vigor for life and candy. That describes a lot of children, though.

If someone asked Ichika to run the Woman’s Association, she could not. She would be frustrated at the responsibility and feel uneasy at her lack of knowledge and hold back tears when scolded in a work setting.

As she grew older and more confident and more eager to be all the things her mother and father and uncle were—a shinigami—he thought his point of view stood just the same. Yachiru would never care to learn from Ikkaku. She never cared to learn anything from anyone.

Ichika loves to learn even when she hides it behind a bravado that insists she’s mastered it all. Byakuya enjoys letting her pick and choose all the teachings and instructors his clan has at their disposal. He realizes that he enjoys how free she can be without the title of Heir looming overhead—enjoys even more the exploitation of Kuchiki resources solely for her entertainment.

[bleachbleachbleach]

The Soul Society Rowing Regatta

The Gotei 13 has a crew team. Actually, it has 13 crew teams. This post came out of some perfectly reasonable discussion about how the Central 46 built their power base and took a series of very stupid turns to get here. 

Given the skill level of the Gotei at their first regatta and the variable relationship between shinigami physiology and physical strength, it’s unclear how much coxswain size actually matters. But there were several shinigami who heard that there was a sport that had an entire position that was all about being small and ordering people around at volume, and got very interested. For Soul Society’s first-ever rowing regatta, Teams Kuchiki (R), Hitsugaya, Hinamori, and Soi Fon emerge as early favorites.

- 6th Division: Early on, Rukia and Renji determine that the only real competition is between each other, and so the 13th and 6th go at it. Byakuya, for his part, is reticent about the idea of watercraft and finds the entire outing rather farcical, especially the part where Renji has taken it upon overlarge self to serve as “coxswain,” with the seeming expectation that Byakuya would oblige orders shouted at him from the back of a boat. The measure of respect Byakuya has for his Vice-Captain does not reach nearly this far. 

- 13th Division: Unfortunately, 13th’s competitiveness is undercut even more because Ukitake does row, but also keeps forgetting to row, and then stops to wave at everyone as they pass by.

- 12th Division: The 12th brings a submarine to this boatfight and is not seen for the duration of the competition. Apparently the lake is very deep, and possibly a Klein bottle.

- 10th and 11th Division: The 10th likely would have fared better if the 11th hadn’t veered wildly off-course and rammed them in the side, causing them to capsize. The race stewards are unsure if this altercation was a result of Yachiru’s inability to steer or just the 11th being the 11th. They did, however, determine that this was not against the rules. There are no rules.

- 9th Division: The 9th never makes it off the beach. It’s unclear why, and Hisagi refuses to say.

- 8th Division: The 8th’s boat is a gondola, much to Nanao’s great frustration.

- 7th Division: Komamura can’t fit in the boat :( Out of solidarity the rest of 7th refuses to compete, and they all hang out with the 9th on the beach, grilling hot dogs. (Iba has a crisis about this. Komamura just likes hot dogs.)

- 4th Division: Hanatarou is the coxswain for 4th. Of his many talents, this role is not one, though Isane is convinced their poor performance is her fault, due to the mathematics of her stroke length vs. that of others. Given how many shinigami end up overboard, and how many shinigami cannot swim (it is not a compulsory skill at the Academy), Unohana suggests that perhaps they would better serve the competition as lifeguards.

- 3rd Division: The 3rd spends most of the competition day on boat design. Ichimaru’s vision is a Viking-style ship with Kira as its figurehead. Whether Kira is meant to give the impression of a dragon, a mermaid, or a dove is unclear.

- 1st Division: 1st spends their time on the lake doing SUP.

- 5th Division: Realizing that Rukia and Hitsugaya have been eliminated from real competition, Hinamori and Soi Fon turn their sights on each other. Hinamori shouts something about teamwork and fighting spirit and Soi Fon something about “actual training.”

- 2nd Division: It’s not the training that lead’s Team Soi Fon to victory, though; at least, not entirely. Soi Fon’s boat puts the craft in watercraft. Soi Fon’s boat is a stealth ship, built with 100% reishi fiberglass.  And in the game of ninjas vs. pirates it turns out Soi Fon’s got some pirate in her. (How do you think the Shihouin ended up with all those treasures? tribute from their vassals!) Zheng Yi Sao is Soi Fon’s hero, if she had to choose a human one. Most shinigami serve a junior deployment/walkabout in the living realm, but Soi Fon took the path less traveled and served hers on Rukongai’s Southern Seas, which are significantly less well-mapped by Soul Society. Soul Society acting like it had just ~discovered boats but Soi Fon’s been waiting for this moment. She was born for this. 

This is all to say that the 5th was entirely unprepared for the level of swashbuckle involved in this aquatic undoukai. I’m not saying that Aizen’s betrayal was partially motivated by his desire to upstage the shock value of Soi Fon’s complete and utter dominance at the 1st Very-Not-Annual Soul Society Rowing Regatta, but it was.

[magical-girl-coral]

​Why you should always check your calendar before assuming it's the end of the world

Also known as the time Gin send everyone into a frenzy without so much as lifting a finger.

Kenpachi let out another annoyed gruff as the old man went on another speech. Today's captain's meeting was dragging more than usual and all because of the captain of the third and the ever-growing paranoia of the Seireitei.

If you were to ask Kenpachi, nothing seemed out of the ordinary with Ichimaru. In his eyes, the third captain was just a little happier than usual, which should be a good thing since he's been in a depressed cloud ever since he came back. But so many people are up in arms because he just happened to wave happily in greeting or hum something under his breath. If they act this crazy when he's happy, god forbid they should see him be joyful.

And Kenpachi wasn't even kidding with how everyone around him started acting like nutjobs. Just today, Kuchiki Senbonzakura'ed his bushes because he heard a bunny rustling in there (with the bunny coming out fine), Soi Fon almost released her Bankai when her office looked slightly different than usual (Omaeda spilled coffee there and tried to cover his tracks), and even Komamura was sniffing everything around him in case he smelled something funny (and several of his officers were tied to him because of that). The only captains who weren't affected by this were Unohana (she found this whole thing "entertaining") and Kenpachi himself, who was never bothered with Ichimaru's pranks (he even helped with a few).

Finally, after half a day full of stupid decision-making from almost every division, captain, lieutenant, and seated officer, the head captain issued an emergency captain's meeting to understand what the actual fuck was going on... on paper. The truth is, they were an hour in, and no one didn't have the guts to bring up why they were all really here. And thanks to Ichimaru's "I'm literally sending sparkles everywhere with my smile like a goddamn manga panel effect" level good mood, he didn't seem to notice any of the tension.

Kenpachi let out one last annoyed rough sound before cutting the old captain off. "Since I'm going to be the only one with balls here, I’m gonna ask what's on everyone's mind: Ichimaru, what the fuck is wrong with you?"

Ichimaru turned to him with a confused head tilt, his smile still intact. "Huh? What do ya mean by that?"

"You've been acting like a weirdo this entire day, even by my standards," Kenpachi continued, "You're happy go lucky day is freaking everyone out. You've been fucking humming, man. Just spit out why the hell you're acting like Yachiru when she finds someone new to toy with and get this whole shitshow over with."

Ichimaru turned and fucking beamed at him. "It's my persimmon trees! One of my officers gave me some special soil from the human world, and they've been bearing double their usual! I'll probably have enough dried persimmon to last for an entire year! Can you believe my luck?"

Kenpachi was using every single one of his muscles to hold in his laughter. Dried fucking persimmons. This whole thing happened because of dried fucking persimmons. He could tell every captain was thinking the same thing based on their defeated expressions. All except for Unohana, who looked as if she's struggling to hold in her laughter like him with shaking shoulders.

"... I see," The old head captain said after some awkward silence, "If that's the case, why don't you leave this meeting early and take the rest of the day off to prepare your treats? The rest of the divisions are always happy when you give them away."

Ichimaru smiled so brightly that all the captains around him had to shield their eyes. "For real?! I take everything I said behind your back. You're the best head commander the Gotei 13 could ever have!"

Kenpachi waited for Ichimaru to Shunpo away before bursting out laughing, making the room shake with him. Unohana let out a few chuckles, using Kenpachi's howling to hide her own amusement.

Soi Fon gapped at them . "You both knew, and you didn't think to tell us?!"

"Oh, I didn't know shit," Kenpachi said with a wide grin, "This whole thing is just fucking hilarious. The little shit can pull some amazing pranks without even trying."

Unohana wiped a small tear of mirth from her eye, nodding her head in agreement with Kenpachi. "And I simply checked the month and noticed it was already September. After all, Captain Ichimaru acted the same way before, after becoming captain for the first time when his trees bore fruit in his new garden. Which reminds me; the next time all of you decide to act like fools, please take this as a reminder to why you should always check your calendar before assuming it's the end of the world."

Kenpachi let out another howl at Unohana's last remark.

[kenpxchi]

@xuryu​​ - death drabble

Running around and finding these Ryōka is getting fucking boring. Yachiru led him down the wrong paths again and again, and he knows she just wants to run around and have fun, but he’s been aching for battle since he got word from Ikkaku. Ignoring her directions earns him an angry tirade of chirps, but he manages to find one of the group. A lanky guy with dark hair and glasses. Yachiru quickly hops off his shoulder to watch, still pouting a little.

He’s never really heard of a Quincy before. The guy’s reserved, quiet, never giving away more than he needs to. When he asks where Ichigo Kurosaki is, there’s no answer, just a flurry of arrows streaming down from above. Even though Kenpachi hates fighting against ranged attacks, he still makes a game out of it. At the very least, the arrows can pierce his skin, the tips sharpened by the archer’s resolve.

It’s when he catches one of them in his teeth that he sees terror start to take over his foe.

He snaps the projectile in half, feeling the tip scrape against the roof of his mouth before it vanishes entirely. The tide of battle turns rapidly; Kenpachi knocks up clouds of rubble from his swings, obfuscating the area around him as he approaches rapidly, powerful leg muscles carrying him through the air and into melee range. The fight’s gotten him excited, eager to see what these invaders can do, but it’s also made him overzealous. One good swing is enough to carve the Quincy’s torso in half, from his left shoulder to the bottom of his ribcage. The pieces of him land with sickening cracks on the floor.

Dammit. That’s the thing he forgets about ranged fighters: they’re not as durable as he hopes. Oh well. At the very least, if he brings this up to Ichigo when he finds the kid, maybe he’ll get mad enough to be a good fight.