#YKNOW I DONT THINK I EVER EXPRESSED HOW MUCH I LOVED THEM IN THE MOVIE

[fleshandwires]

OUGHHH. OUGHM UFHAHDUFN UGHHSHJFISFN (dying)

[inosukeslefttoe]

g-guhh... i watched this movie the other weekend and i wanted to rewatch it again before posting anything but like.. homie i honestly dont think my heart can take that lol

so from the aspect of like,, the amount of buildup and quality of the development of relationships and characters and just overall emotional-ness of the movie compared to the anime, clearly the anime is superior... HOWEVER.... this one decided to completely bypass the part of my heart dedicated for anime feelings and just jab right into the part that made me feel genuine heartbreak. so like,, i might be projecting my own feelings n experiences onto this a bit too much but i just gotta talk about it hehe

obviously ugetsu and akihiko had some super mixed up feelings towards each other that made their relationship super toxic and i just wanna talk about the complexity of those feelings and why i think they felt how they did. 

so i think that one of the biggest reasons they stayed together in their on and off sort of thing was because they were each others first loves. i believe akihiko mentioned that he moved in with ugetsu before he got the chance to live alone or smthn like that,, and they basically started their adult lives knowing nothing but each other. they were still developing as ppl and finding their own way as adults,, but before they were allowed to fully mature, they fell in love and fell into this almost codependent relationship where it was hard to imagine themselves without each other bc at this point,, all they knew was each other. 

another reason they fell in love was because of their shared passion for music and for the violin specifically !! but i also think that this is one of the major things that caused their downfall. i think that they ended up putting too much of their relationship onto that shared passion so it was no longer like,, something individual to each of them,, it was no longer about their individual passion for their craft but something that was holding together their relationship. and sure, having something so strong connecting two people can be wonderful, but it can also be harmful if it takes something so personal and unique to each person and is suddenly forcing it to be glue holding them to each other that leaves little room for their own expression if that makes sense.

 i think this shared love of music was also causing akihiko to feel like he was living in ugetsus shadow. and honestly, when u have a partner who is just so perfect at everything they do and u cant seem to catch up to them, it becomes rlly exhausting. akihiko didnt want his partner to see him as lesser or to pity him or act condescendingly seeing him struggle to catch up to his own talents so i think that could be part of what drove akihiko away from the violin. aside from this,, i think that since akihiko fell in love with ugestu due to his epic violin skills, he started associating the violin super strongly to ugetsu and no longer felt like it was an extension of himself,, but just something to relate to his partner who he also felt was far superior to him in this subject. as long as ugetsu was in his life, the violin would only ever remind akihiko of his partner and it could never be regained as something personal and expressive of himself. 

uhhh i think thats all i wanna talk about for rn regarding why their relationship got so messed up but like,,, i would also like to be emo about ugetsu for a second lmao

i just... when he was talking to mafuyu about how he was just sitting there waiting for akihiko to come home... how it seemed like he was talking less about their apartment and more like himself... UGH IM GONNA CRY BRO THAT FEELING WHEN U THINK SOMEONE IS UR HOME AND U THINK UR THEIRS BUT UR BOTH JUST MESSED UP AND TRAPPED IN A BROKEN HOME.... and also how he was clearly not having any of his needs satisfied by akihiko and would yknow have sex w other ppl and stuff but still go back to akihiko and it was clear that nothing rlly meant anything to ugetsu without him... god my feelings pls... HHH AND THE SCENE WHERE AKIHIKO WALKED AWAY FOR GOOD.... FUCK DUDE IM GONNA CRY THINKING ABOUT IT... it just hurt so bad to see that akihiko had matured and was so easily letting go of ugetsu for the final time and yeah that was fuckin awesome for him and im rlly happy he had the strength and development to do that... BUT... u can tell that ugetsu didnt have that maturity... and u could just see the panic and heartbreak and just overwhelming emotions that he was seeing like dude i could fucking hear every voice in ugetsus head just screaming at akihiko to come back to him and hold him one more time ... but he couldnt say anything. he looked so lost. he hadnt known anything aside from akihiko ,, and his passion for music was still strongly connected to their love so i imagine that at this point he genuinely felt that he had nothing. not even himself. the entire person that he built himself up to be was always leaning on akihiko since theyd grown so much together and akihiko had always been something constant in his life to where things didnt mean much without him. and suddenly he was just,, gone. and he took every part of ugetsu with him. at this point im probably projecting more than analyzing, but  this was just my take on their feelings and that specific scene. it was very very good that the two cut contact and are working to better themselves, and i know that they both knew that, but their whole situation was just. so fucking heartbreaking. and something extremely hard to do in that sort of codependent toxic relationship...

OKAY THAT WILL BE ALL BEFORE I CRY LOL BUT I HOPE IT MADE SENSE !!

[uncertaininnit]

who wants to read an essay about my relationship with simping/an appreciation(/simping lol) post about Will+Eret and also seperately tommyinnit that was written at 4:22 am and then added to the queue because i love the queue system also fun fact i pronounced the word ‘queue’ as ‘cc-week’ for like an entire year and idk why anyways

lets just jump into it

lol

so. if somebody was to ask me who my favorite mcyt is, i would think about it for a moment and eventually answer with either Wilbur or Eret. and i think that is purely out of simping instinct or whatever the fuck. 

to start, Wilbur; the prettiest man, period. i do not take constructive criticism. he is literally gorgeous and i get so mad at him for putting himself down all the time because he doesnt deserve the shit, especially not from himself. he is 24 years old and has the lowest self-esteem out of anybody i can think of. i want to yell in his face all the time. i want to tell him simps are the same species as him, and they have REASONS to simp. if you keep seeing appreciation posts about yourself (which im sure he does) that means people APPRECIATE YOU and WANT YOU to feel APPRECIATED. 

anyway, back to simping. let’s start from the top. his goddamn hair. it is, it is, and i just took a deep breath, so pretty. maybe it isnt the hair itself, probably, but the way it is done. wavy dark brown hair all floofy in the front. and he is constantly messing with it, which is THE cutest thing. when he is excited, he moves a lot, and his hair moves with him and gets messed up and ahhhcvkvyr moving on.

his face? lets start with his eyes. they are so pretty. i think my opinion on eyes is probably weird, and allow me to explain why. i never ever notice somebodies eye color when talking to them. i just dont even look. so when i am actively paying attention to somebody’s eyes, they are that much more important to me. but idk, i kinda feel like his eyes are one of the biggest factors of his face? like, he looks really pretty whether he is smiling or not, because his face doesn’t ride on his smile.

sidetrack paragraph about george: i think george is that way. he is adorable, but he is only really adorable when he is smiling. if i look up ‘georgenotfound cute’ it will be entirely him smiling, and never any other facial expression because he genuinely looks like the fucking weirdest thing sometimes when making a serious face. back to will.

i dont pay attention to noses because who even cares dude but i’m sure his nose does a good job of supporting his looks as well so good job nose

his SMILE. he doesn’t need to smile, but dude, when he does, it’s like i always used to say (and still would say) in regards to eijiro kirishima. it’s like... sunbeams, like rays of light are in his mouth and escaping when he smiles.i wonder how he keeps a star in there. because his smile literally lights up my heart. and when he tilts his head(basically all the time luckily)? so goddamn pretty. pretty man. pretty. 

that brings us to his neck, which is- no, kidding, but i do want to talk about his vocal chords! firstly his speaking voice, which i guess as an american it hits different for me because of the accent. but- i dont think i can put it into words. but the way he puts thoughts into words-(lol) idk, his voice is just really sweet. and his SINGING VOICE, here we go.

so he sings, duh. and i- holy fuck. he just sounds good, you know? he is a good singer. i want to put my emotions simply this time. he sings well, and he sounds good. a pretty voice for a pretty man. i cant even try to elaborate.

basically the only other thing of my concern is his fucking yellow sweater? or jumper or whatever the fuck? and his beanie? on his body? damn. i am genuinely attached to that sweater. it just looks good, ok? it does. 

oh yeah, and he’s hella fucking tall. 6′5? are you kidding? you couldn’t have at least been short so we could make fun of you?

oh yeah and his laugh-

it is now 4:53 am and a bitch is tired but i have an entire fucking train of thoughts and they must be somewhere before they slip away

the next part- Eret. i adore Eret. so incredibly much. and let me start this by saying i’m going to consistantly call him a he, because he doesn’t care and so that makes it easier for me. ok? ok.

he is the opposite of Wilbur in this one regard, confidence. and self-esteem. eret loves himself. that attitude spreads. look, not only is he like the #1 bicon in the world as far as i’m concerned, but he also actively fucks gender roles any day. strawberry dress pog? strawberry dress pog.

but seriously, he rocked the strawberry dress. and the suit, though i missed that stream. he rocks his crown, his sunglasses, just anything he puts on. and don’t get me started on the BOOTS

(im started on the boots) so firstly the heel boots, the first ones he got. when i first saw clips, my only thought was something like ‘woah.’ or maybe ‘damn.’ at that point i didn’t know much about him, just that he looked STELLAR in those boots (and the betrayal and shit yknow) and the PLATFORMS DUDE

the platforms are the same but moar tall, which is incredible. oh and now back to strawberry dress- have you seen him twirl? the twirl? hello? have you seen it? you must. 

also i havent even talked about HIM yet. hove you seen that picture of him with a bird on his shoulder? he is facing the bird, i think looking at it, with a wide smile across his face. and it is so pretty. he has the prettiest smile. 

also today i was looking for flour at the store place and a clip of him was playing in my mind- he was doing like an announcer voice, like in every superhero movie trailer- and he was just coming up with something to say, and what he ened up saying was ‘in a world... where.... cookies.... are made of pringles’ and OMFG its making me laugh even now. like of absolutely anything, that was the example he made. just thinking about it is making me smile. 

speaking of, have you heard his voice? his normal voice is really really deep anyways, but he has crazy range- he can effortlessly(i originally wrote effortly and when i noticed i laughed because i am so fucking tired bfv9wuocl) go from like an elmo impression (and a good one) to a just REALLY low voice, lower than his normal low voice. 

AND HIS SINGING VOICE! he doesn’t like actually make music like wilbur but on that one stream where he did kareoke (how the fuck is it spelled) with fundy and his voice is SO LIKE its deep and its just pretty and i never want to hear normal sweater weather ever again, just him singing it.

i think this is where i’m done with eret- it is 5:18 now, and a BITCH IS TIRED but i need to finish this while i’m still feeling this wayy or i’ll never finish it, i know this from experience.

and now it’s tommy time

the og reason i decided to make this an actual post . but i had to explain the simping thing before i got into my thoughts about tommy. 

but let me start this with just saying yes, i love him. he is a big man and i want him to be happy. which is the topic for today’s discussion, AHEM. 

so tommyinnit, right? he is 16, which is why i do NOT simp.i dont care that im also a minor, i wouldn’t do anything to make him feel uncomfortable, ever. in any world. never. because look- i dont know how to put it, but tommy is SIXTEEN. still young and impressionable and all that junk. and he is a fairly fucking famous twitch streamer. he does that almost daily.

what i’m saying is i dont want him to get hurt. him, and tubbo too. they are a part of the world, part of the public, all the time. don’t you think that is stressful? do you guys remember his haircut stream? on the day of his haircut? and chat was making fun of him for it, and wilbur was making fun of him for it. that is how i express affection, with my real friends as well. playful bullying. but at some point while Will was teasing him, he says something along the lines of ‘yeah, the big man hasn’t been having too great a day’ or something like that, and dude, my heart dropped.

a. he had mentioned earlier that he didn’t want to stream the day of his haircut because hair is always weird that first day, but since he hadn’t streamed in a good bit he felt obliged to. i dont really.. idk, i dont really like that. i dont want him to have to put himself in uncomfortable situations because he feels like he needs to for us. i don’t think that is healthy.

and b. chat and wilbur were bullying him. good-naturedly, but still, when he mentioned he had been having a bad day, the chat turned around and instantly started yelling shit like ‘AHHHH SORRY BIG MAN YOUR HAIR IS FINE’ and when Wilbur kept teasing him (you fucking beautiful bully man fuck off) yelling stuff like ‘WILBUR QUIT WE ARE H U R T I N G HIM’ and ‘WILL STFU HES HAVING A BAD DAY’ so im glad we all want him to feel ok

but still, it cannot be healthy. when i first got into MCYT, i though tommy was fucking loud and annoying. and he is! he is. but that is a big part of why i like him so much. and everyone jokes about him being a child, because he is, but i choose to not say stuff like that in chat just because i want him to be happy. those jokes are fun, but i want him to be happy. and he is happier when not being called a child.

im not attacking you, do whatever the fuck you want. i dont know why i feel the need to protect him or whatever, if he read this he would probably think i was hella creepy. i just- listen, i just want him to be happy. i just want him to smile and laugh. i sound SO GODDAMN CREEPY but- as ive said- i just want him to be happy. 

is this literally just what having a comfort streamer is? am i not crazy? does everyone experience this? and can we talk about tommy’s playlist it’s literally so sweet and bubbly compared to his personality and i love that. and the song he always plays at the start of stream and always like buzzes along to? that moment in time is my very favorite.

it is 5:44-

[hollyhomburg]

Yknow sometimes I think about that one clip on the boat where hobi is just complimenting and talking about yoongi and yoongi gets so flustered he just goes to the edge and s c r e a m s and,,,,, imagine with his s/o

okay but for some reason i just had a total poly au jump out at me based off of this, Ah so this is the exact opposite of my usual aesthetic- dont know if you wanted hard nsfw but!!!! sorry!!!! this is also not edited like at all please dont judge me for my kinks this is way out of my usual zone. 

Back to You (BTS x Reader)

W/C: 2.4k (oh lord)

Tags: Sub! reader, Sub! Yoongi, Dom! Bts, Poly, Gangbang, Established relationship, praise kink, degradation, Oral fixation, cumplay, dom/sub shit, voyeurism, exhibitionism, semi-public sex, snowballing but with slick?, masturbation, 

Song Rec: Everytime ~ Ariana Grande 

as Yoongi’s significant other, you indulge in his praise kink fairly often. sometimes it���s in the soft way too where he just gets overwhelmed and flushed and stuttery and screams “stop making me soft!” while it’s muffled in her chest because yoongi just gets so shy he hides from the weight of so much sweetness. 

but also, he has a praise kink in much more of an nsfw way.

“oh my god you fill me up so well Yoongi, I feel like im gonna go crazy,”

and him above you “am i fucking you so good you can’t even speak anymore baby?”

his growl of “no one could fuck you as good as i can, say it- admit it darling” i lowkey feel like people forget that dom’s can have praise kinks too, but ANYWAY

after a little while with dating Yoongi- you start to realize that the others totally know about his praise kink, the way than Namjoon will squeeze his shoulders after they’re done producing, saying “you did such a good job hyung” will bring a blush to his cheeks,

hoseok is always the first one to complement yoongi over dinner, and the maknaes are straight up relentless with their manhandling of your boyfriend, slapping his thighs in his jeans at the weirdest times and telling him how pretty they look.

and maybe you’d have a problem with how obviously flustered it makes him if they didn’t do the same thing to you,

Seokjin often curls his hand around your hair, and compliments you on the style,

or the demeaning but lovely curve of a smirk on hoseok’s lips of “wow that shade of lipstick looks great on you, makes you look like such a good slut” and then the tilt of his head, the opaque insensarity and boiling lust in his expression as he shrugs and says “no offense of course, yoongi’s told me how good you are for him,”

and holy hell if it didn’t make both of you absolutely squirm in your seat, yoongi too next to you too, whining in the back of his throat at hoseok’s words. 

Jungkook gets particularly bratty with you as well, a little objectifying, even if you try to deny how turned on it makes you when he possessive tugs you into his lap saying “how come hyung gets all the pretty toys? He’s so spoiled.”

There are other things too- other moments that show just how much the boys care for you and yoongi, other non-sexual dominance moments, 

like namjoon fiddling with your clothes and complimenting how pretty you look in that skirt, making you blush when he cups your cheeks,

or the way that seokjin takes care of you and yoongi when you both get the flu “i know the medicine tastes bad baby but it would make me so happy if you had it,” and yoongi’s whine as he demands a kiss from seokjin after taking a spoonful of the medcin, hazy with fever. and then your pout, and seokjin’s shy smile as he is only too happy to give you one too. 

the way that jungkook and jimin demand cuddles from the two of you every single movie night, each one of them spooning you as you sit curled against yoongi’s chest, their hands playing laced in between you two. 

Hoseok’s insistence that the three of you get matching balenciaga shoes, no matter how much you protest, hoseok will just grab both of your hands in his, press a kiss to the back of each and say “come on just let me spoil both of you,” 

Things get a little heavier, one night when you’re all drinking, yoongi’s head tipped against your neck to suck at the skin there hidden after most of the others have gone to dance and you were happier just to sit with yoongi, 

Taehyung fisting a hand in the back of his hair pulling him away from your skin and making your boyfriend groan at the delicious pain pleasure that runs down his spine.

“don’t be rude Hyung, there are so many people watching and you know how much we hate when people see what’s ours,” and they’re right- there are alot of people watching the two of you curled to the side, both of you wrecked in the booth.

Taehyung closes the curtains to the booth and slowly guides you to give Yoongi a blowjob, Taehyung guiding your head up and down his length with a hand in your hair. his other hand around your throat feeling how you clench and swallow around Yoongi “that’s a good girl, take baby boy’s cock all the way, like i know you can that’s a good babygirl ” 

all while Yoongi is sat in namjoon’s lap, his thighs held apart by namjoon’s hands. Who gives him little slaps when Yoongi moves his hips, whispering straight filth into his ears “so needy, look how strung out you are, it’s so cute! are you thinking that someone could walk in and see how fucked out you look? does it make you turned on hyung?”

And Yoongi gets so worked up that he’s almost sniffling before he comes all over your face, his thighs certainly would be shaking if it weren’t for how roughly namjoon’s holding him, in the way that will surely leave bruises,

and that’s when the others get back, careful not to let anyone else look into the booth (because of course everyone knew what was going to happen- they might have planned it) and the low whistle that comes out of Jimin when he sees your cum covered face, your eyes hazy and not all there as Taehyung pets your hair and tells you how good you did, “just when I thought you couldn’t get more gorgeous baby”  

and of course, they you up on the table, clearing it of the many expensive bottles, parts your legs and holds up your skirt so that you can give the rest of them a show. Seokjin rubs gently against your clit through your underwear sliding it down before he takes it to his nose and breathes in deep. his eyelashes fluttering, just the sight of that makes you so strung out that you’re certain you’ll do anything they say. 

Hoseok holds on to one of your ankles, while jimin holds the other spread, someone took off their tie to bind yoongi’s hands behind his back and he’s completely at the mercy of seokjin, who guides yoongi’s head to your slit keeping a hand fisted in his hair, commanding “Eat her good like we taught you Yoongi- show us how good you can be to her” 

occasionally pulling him back, lifting his head back to kiss him and taste your slick on his lips, licking into his mouth messily to get all of it. jungkooks incredulous and dark look when he breaks apart makes both you and yoongi whine, lifting his own fingers to touch his lips in awe “you know i used to wonder why yoongi chose you over us and now i think i understand, you’re addicting” and of course jimin just needs to have a taste of his own, reaching forward and pumping his fingers in you roughly before he brings them to his mouth, ““Fuck, and here i though you just looked sweet baby girl.”

 “Come on hyung dont be selfish- let me have a taste” but instead of kissing seokjin with his plush lips wet with your essance, jungkook tugs on Yoongi’s hair. Putting his mouth back to your cunt and letting him lick at you for a moment lazily and fucked out before he pulls him away again, making your hips jerk in search of yoongi’s mouth.

Yoongi whimpers into jungkook’s mouth as he gets the same treatment, licking it out of his mouth as opposed to actually kissing him making him heady, and spiralling down deep into subspace at an almost alarming pace. 

So basically, Yoongi eats you out while the others jerk off and dirty talk the shit out of both of you. Hoseok cums all over your stomach, Taehyung cums on your face and Namjoon pulls down your top to cum all over your chest. 

Somehow Jimin ends up with your underwear, curling it around his fist and using it to jack off, ruining the delicate pink lace when he cums on them with a groan. Watching him and feeling the cum dry on your chest, You feel so dirty but so unbelievably satisfied. Hoseok whispers in your ear, “you just love being our dirty slut don’t you?” Jimin sets the underwhere on the table, “We should make her wear them out of here hyungs,”

Eventually you cum with Hoseok’s fingers thrusting into you and yoongi’s mouth sucking on your clit, only to shake and squirt onto the table, trembling like a leaf. And of course, they make Yoongi lick it up and clean you up again, indulging in his oral fixation which makes him cum again, grinding against the table. (honestly rip whoever has to clean it afterwards)

You’re both so hazy by the end of this but the others take care of you, cleaning you up and ushering both of you out of the back door so that no one sees how wrecked both of you are. 

and when you wake up the next morning you’re wrapped tightly in taehyung’s bed getting the life cuddled out of you, Seokjin has food already ready to go and you’re half convinced that last night was just a dirty dream until you check and yup- you have hickeys on the inside of your thighs and one on your chest that you think is from namjoon but you can’t be sure. 

eventually you get around to asking yoongi the obvious question, “so uhm, have you ever like- been with any of them before? because i dont want to say it makes me uncomfortable, but sometimes they’re a little intense with both of us” and Yoongi stutters and admits that they’ve all kind of fooled around with each other at one point or another- even though you can tell it was more than that. 

Yoongi admits that yes, he used to be their submissive, but he cut it off when he met you because he knew he loved you and wanted to be with you, no matter how much it hurt the others. because they’re all a little in love with him- even if they’d never said it yoongi knows, and yoongi also knows that they’re starting to feel the same way about you. 

And it doesn’t surprise you because your boyfriend is a switch (but prefers to dom you and only you) so it’s not surprising to you that he’d had that outlet before you got together and if you’re being honest- it doesn’t make you uncomfortable in the slightest

in fact…it’s a little hot, thinking of your boyfriend stuttering as they praise and degrade him in equal measure, and you’d be wrong if you said you didn’t want a piece of that to see it again. You tell Yoongi this, and he’s surprised but not displeased because if he was being honest part of his brain needed some of that rush of subspace that only the others could give him, even if he needed the rush of domspace just the same.

and before he has a chance to ask the boys about the possibility of a scene with you in it (the thought almost makes him weak) it reaches a fevers pitch when you go out together one night. 

You’re dressed in a skin tight velvet dress and a velvet collar and yoongi is in a silky button down shirt, and all of them decide that nope, neither of you get to go out looking like that, you’re only for their eyes to be seen by anyone other than them, 

They toy with you drawing out every minute, making both of you stand naked in the middle of the room for their viewing pleasure, “the first one of you that moves or makes a noise is going to get punished, and the other gets to watch and be spoiled” namjoon of course, is the one that designs the scene, though he sits back, stroking his length almost lazily though you can see the lust in his eyes. 

they alternate teasing both of you, hoseok tugs on your collar and you refuse to sigh or splutter as he leaves hickey after hickey along your chest. “Do you think she’d like a leash to do with this collar? be our perfect little pet? we should bring out yoongi’s and then they’d be matching” 

 Seokjin toys with yoongi’s ass as jimin sucks him off, your boyfriend sweating and looking more out of it by the minute but still unmoving. though you think you see a hint of competitiveness in his expression, like he’s daring you to move first, 

Jungkook coos when he kneels down in front of you “oh my god look how wet she’s getting! oh how cute! she’s pretending she wasn’t as turned on by this as yoongi hyung, what an adorable little whore” he tilts his head forward and before you can control it- you flinch as he swipes his tongue across your clit fast and hard. 

let’s just say they spend the whole night making you messy and sore, and so overstimulated you cry- because it just feels that good, they make yoongi eat you out (damn his oral fixation) while you’re getting pounded into by taehyung. 

And I don’t want to get two graphic beyond that, but basically, you and yoongi sub for bangtan the whole night, and you all fuck on the floor of their living room, making both of you cry (it’s okay though you have safe words and it’s more of like an overwhelmed-with-pleasure sort of cry)

at the end both you and yoongi are curled up and cleaned, cream rubbed into the bruises on both your asses, swathed in plush blankets while jimin combs his fingers through yoongi’s hair and seokjin does the same to you, namjoon rubbing soothing circles onto your very sore hips. 

curled together in a little puddle between all of them while they just cuddle you and praise you, 

“You both did so well for us”  - Jimin 

“Our pretty obedient babies,” - Hoseok definitely

“Could never find such good darlings like you, you’re both one of a kind” - Seokjin 

 “You’re perfect for us” - jungkook probably. 

“oh little ones, you took your punishments so good, im so impressed” - namjoon 

“I’m so proud of you, you make me feel so loved” - taehyung 

and the next day they invite you and yoongi into one giant poly/sub/dom relationship with rules like ‘eat at least 2 meals a day, sleep 7 hours minimum, no demeaning language at yourself outside of scenes, and alway pre-negotiation because they don’t often practice unsafe bdsm etiquette accept for last night because they kind of got carried away. 

after all yoongi did tell them what you two got up too, so they knew that you weren’t exactly opposed to that kind of dirty talk and what kind of kinks you did and if you had showed any reservations they would have stopped immediately during that scene

but going forward to feel more comfortable they want to have like- long lengthy discussions about kinks and limits and what kind of aftercare you like, cuz they already know that for yoongi he just likes to be held and touched gently 

okay thats it thats the ask thanks for coming to THE MOST HARD NSFW thing i’ve ever written gonna go wash my brain out with soap after all those visuals bye

[floralkittygambler]

Reposting for reasons

Response to Honest’s post here: Doing this to spread this awareness more as I know theres a bit of a rift in the critical community - plus I really fucking go on. Im PISSED and I do apologise however it NEEDS urgent addressing. I know people will hate me for it but Im used to hate and honestly? Hating rather than helping to solve the issue only furthers my fucking point here. So yeah this is so more people are aware (no offense to any of those involved in said rift either, but this is an important message. Thank you for understanding and if I can do anything to make all sides comfortable, then please message me and I’ll do my upmost.) “ More awareness of this is needed. Even if it’s your favourite, you can’t justify their shit but rally against another’s shit. Have people tell you you’re experiences arent real or invalid because, like Husk, people have - in real life - shipped you with someone you are far from comfortable with but you still treat them like a person. Because you have basic respect. And people force you to accept harassment, touching, stalking, advances for THEIR satisfaction. People use you for their fantasies. But you’re just a ‘tsundere’ for it. Or you have addiction issues but people think being with another addict will ‘save’ you because you’re apparently too incompetent to save yourself. Love isnt some magic fuckin cure so stop romanticising it as a fuckin saviour. It’s gross and fuckin creepy. Get stalked and have someone NEVER accept your no just because you show youre still decent enough to not treat them shitty or any different from anyone else. Try having someone way older or way younger (both in morally fucked up ways) advance on you and people encourage that. People you’re supposed to feel safe around.

People touch you when you pull away or show discomfort. Follow you home. Have pictures of you and wont accept you dont like them like that and it’s not ‘playing hard to get’ or ‘the thrill of the chase’. Fuck. OFF. In fact, Im not only disappointed in the fandom. Im disappointed in the entire team who some should know better from their OWN personal experiences - or at least the bare minimal of being a fucking adult. Im disappointed in especially females (sorry idk whether girl or woman is more appropriate here-) who statistically are more likely to have experienced something similar at some point in their lives think this is a cute gay moment. No. Angel is made out as a fucking predator - Im not saying he is, Im saying that his persistence is very fucking unwelcome like one. People like Husk dont need that fucking invasiveness. They/We need patience and someone on our level. Angel’s I know are the fuckin polar opposite - and some of them I know are very sexually harassing, including unwanted touching. It’s a shitty way to present gay people. Gays are fuckin people. Some are cunts and some arent. It’s a HUMAN thing. But considering the shit theyve been subjected to, presenting a gay as a victim only to also show them as a perpetrator is insulting! And for those Ive seen argue this about how people like AD wouldnt know how to express their love normally and whatnot? His pig. His best friend. He’s in his fucking 30s. There are literal real life criminals who get molested as kids and then go on to molest kids. Not all who grow up like that turn into nonces. Stop just fucking STOP justifying and romanticising this bullshit! I used to see the good in AD but now he makes me fucking sick. Especially with my verrrrrry fucking real traumas and connections. But fuck me, eh? Because this fictional guy matters so much more. Fuck real victims. And whilst we’re at it, fuck AD too when it suits your fetishes! Sarcasm aside, the fans and the team need to straighten up their abhorrent behaviour. Stolas. Fucking clearly having an affair, knowingly fucking up his daughter’s mental health and bribing a guy into sex who only wants the book and nothing more. He even has a fucking warning button over Stolas- Guys, how do you think any of this is cute? Even the team gross me out- I genuinely see potential and talent and it’s all gone to shit to satisfy horny teens, horny adults, and literally everyone who doesnt for the life of them understand being an adult is more than sex, drugs, violence and swears! I REALLY want to keep enjoying HB/HH but it’s getting harder and harder with such ignorant and bordering lazy creators (note: lazy as in wont do the fucking research or actually listen to real criticism and victims), such despicable fans (yeah, some HDers fuckin mocked that they triggered my ED, yet they had the fucking NERVE to support Angel’s potential ED AND laugh and blame me for me getting treated so badly for actually having the balls to call Angel and the teams hypocrisy. I got told to kill myself, that my problems arent real - oh but Angels apparently is! Which... They *are* but AD isnt real so technically only onlookers will suffer and not a drawing  - and they just excused their toxic behaviours. These people are like “aww poor angie babey!” yet fuckin INSULT sex workers. All this red in Hazbin yet it feels everyone and they mama colour blind. The issues are getting worse and fans are outright becoming EVIL, VILE, Vindictive little bullies - from kids to adults. You SHOULD be ashamed of yourself if you conduct yourself in such a manner. And you need to readjust your attitudes and behaviours because the only fuckers getting hurt are actual fucking victims. Ever been violated and been gaslit so much you STILL fucking question it’s reality? So you drown that shit out yet somehow it’s effects still hit you? Fetishise it. Make it your uwu gae couple goals, you’re no better than people believing Harley and the Joker werent toxic af. If this shit happened to you, most of you would actually SEE where we’re all coming from. Also, stop making gay a fetish - you’re like those creepy old men in the alley heckling lesbians to make out so they can wank off. Gays, no ALL the LGBT+ are fucking people too. So dont give me that bullshit then start turning everything just gay or just straight to mentally wank off to. It’s degrading and dehumanising. And yes, fiction does effect reality. You crush on a fictional character? Mourn one? Support one? Hell, fuckin jerk off to one - that’s affecting reality. Remember how in fiction all blacks were treated as villians? Look how theyre treated IRL. JAWS, great classic unfortunately their was a spike in shark killings over a fucking movie - the shark in the movie wasnt even real for the most part because they dont behave like that! (Also the animatronic was so shit they genuinely had so many issues - I think they even took to naming each one! Some fun trivia there!). Tiger sharks are more nasty than great whites as tiger sharks will hunt and eat a human. Great whites prefer seals and dislike human flesh, they just mistake us for seals. Hell, theres the toothless basking shark - theyre often SWAM WITH by divers for being so friendly. Yet Jaws made people think all sharks are bloodlusting over humans. Slenderman was created for a fucking contest and that influenced a stabbing (NOT Victor’s fault). Watch a horror movie that isnt based on a real life event and tell me that at least ONE has left you peaking over your shoulder. Stella may be a bitch - we dont know for certain - but try getting cheated on. Y’know what? Try growing up in such a broken home like Octavia. Yeah reaaaaaal fucking cute now, huh? Funny how as well y’all petition for male victims to be taken seriously then laugh when fictional males experience this abuse, further adding to stigma. You can be hit on by the hottest mf on the planet but if you arent interested, that should be respected! Also we’ve all been inspired by at least one fictional character so yeah. Yknow, since I was little Ive been fighting for sex worker and homeless rights. But HH/HB treatment of both leave a bitter taste in my mouth. I’ll still fully support sex workers and the homeless, but that’s the fucking effect this show is having. Bearing in mind I wont ever share everything Ive been through - and I shouldnt fucking have to in order to be believed and validated (obvs proof is required in a legal case but that’s a whole other topic). Why should I share MY fucking pain especially when you fuckers have belittled and triggered it more so? We have our rights to our secrets but fuck ME you lot NEED to start acting appropriately and like decent fucking humans. ‘iTs HeLl’ yeah and welcome to Earth- the team and yourselves live HERE. You obide by THESE rules. And as someone with beliefs (and a LOT of ancient fucking texts and studies on this shit) their Hell isnt even a proper Hell! It’s closer to purgatory and even then it’s not. Regardless, it’s a poorly built world with the lore consistently changing per episode and tweet, with many plot holes, and is apparently easy to get into - even via accidentally watching porn according to a stream. If youre gonna parade youre a fucking expert and research into demonology and use real believed figures, at least get THAT right. In fact, Lucifer and Lilith (and Stolas tbf) are ESPECIALLY risky as theyre a lot more complex than most easy access texts will tell you. Likewise, Stolas’s first introduction and main focus is sex. He’s one of the FEW Goetia demons that dont have some involvement in relationship issues at ALL. He’s known for astrology, crystals and herbs but hes also known to aid MONEY troubles (it’s lesser known but it’s true! HB Stolas is an insult to the Prince). Turning Vodou into something evil is vile considering it’s powerful and liberated slaves. Pentagrams are nothing to do with Satan, they’re magic based sigils. Upside down cross is the symbol of a SAINT. It’s just some edgy attempt to trick people into believing they know more than they do. Also you should NEVER dabble and doodle sigils without knowing the meanings or respecting what they behold. Vox and Val, real fuckin cute way to make them look like a stupid fucking highschool drama instead of a fucking SEX TRAFFICKER (note: real pimps often target YOUNG folks too - aka minors - and groom them into sex work. Theres different types of pimp. Viv has shown barely any understanding of ‘the game’ and its a fucking insult to injury. Yes we KNOW what a fucking pimp and prozzie are! We dont need to see it. We need REAL AWARENESS.) and a fucking scheming bastard of a CEO salesman botman. And yet even THEN lets go a step further and make some yandere wuv on boyfweind aboose! Fuck off- Now I love a good anime but these tropes are getting fucking dangerous now. And unrealistic to real love and relationships. Kids nowadays know fuck all on a healthy relationship (neither did the fuckin 50s tbf) and Im seeing more romaticism and glorifying abusive situations. Like the show ‘You’. Ok, there’s a fuckin bloke online who slaughtered innocents and kidnapped yet people commented how cute he is on his IG and that they want to be kidnapped or killed by him next. Dont believe me? Look up Peter Manfredonia Connecticut and the comments people left him and then tell me why shit like whats being presented in HH/HB ISNT fucking concerning - because it is. For a series about redemption, it’s brilliant at the opposite (Quote from the creator herself, Viv has posted that it’s influencing her bad choices. Even as a joke, proof’s in the pudding). And the overall focus on sex in the way Viv does is so immature and really creepy, and this is from an ADULTS perspective. From one adult to another, Im concerned as to why any of them think this is a normal fixation. Then again they’ve hired quite a large amount of dodgy folks and even a child. Most of this shit gets avoided with a basic background check like most companies run. I DO like Hazbin. Or the premise. I love some of the cast and spite the others. In Helluva, I just like a tiny portion of the cast. And I critique it so harshly because Viv DOES need a wakeup slap, grounding to reality, people who arent going to big her up or kiss her arse for once and shape her up to be the best she can be. The actually reach and even surpass her potential. And to reach where you need to be, there’s a lot of harsh lessons youll face. That’s life. Shes chosen one of the most HEARTLESS industries and if she blocks out critique as ‘hate’ then she’s not strong enough and wont last. It’s just another unprepped YanDev again (except I dont believe Viv to be a nonce. Even with her dodgy past and dodgy present, I think her perspective on sex and relationship with sexuality is FAR from healthy BUT I dont believe she’s a pedophile. Ive bled my fair share and so far, I just think her sex perspective isnt healthy or mature for her age. But there’s little to nothing to suggest actual noncery - dont worry about accusations there. But YanDev is totally a dirty predator. Just clearing that up). Viv NEEDS some harshness and stability if she wants to do things right. And it’ll make her fucking cry but if she loves these projects as much as she claims to, then you’ll sacrifice blood, sweat and tears for that shit. Even the strongest points are mediocre at best when properly observed. She CAN do more, but she’ll have to face the harsh music. Viv wont see this, but if she does, I dont care if it upsets her. Why? Because this is that much of an issue - something she’s cultivated - that she needs to take action and not ignore it or be secretive about it. She needs to grow up and get tougher skin. Im not saying this to cause her pain. In fact, I wouldnt waste my fucking limited time if I DIDNT care. Trust me, I have duties to be met at a certain quota every single day. I say this shit only because I give a shit and care. If we met, she’d fucking hate me. But people like me are good for shaping people up to their potential. And we arent always this ‘tough love’ either. But when someone needs that level of harshness to help themselves, we’re not afraid to lose people or cause upset if the results end up being the best for them. If she ever saw this, she needs to re fucking evaluate her message, her story, and those she’s choosing to welcome into her circle. And all Im seeing is one rookie mistake after the other. Her paid patreon discord. Just like the messages Honest has posted on her side of being harassed (not in Vivs fyi), Ive experienced shit and bullying and even stay silent on their for being attacked for a group I fuckin paid to be in and yet I feel isolated. It’s all arsekissing and ‘thank you viv’ (thats an actual channel-) and it feels like a place of borderline worship and people trying to appease her 24/7 whilst kicking others with different opinions down. There’s so many I love but I aint kissin yer fuckin arse. Ask the closest friend I have - we’re fucking raw and wont just side with each other just because. We’ll call each other out if we think they’ve fucked up and then help each other build themselves up better. Because real fuckin people who actually care wont just want to be adored by you. They’ll care enough to point out your bullshit and help you, even if they upset you at the time. They’re real and upfront with you. People like us arent always the easiest to be close to either because we arent afraid of upsetting someone if it’s in their best interest and to help them. Likewise, we dont go out looking for fights either. Most times, we’re fuckin soft bastards- All this shit listed is the fuckin surface level of the real life hell of this fandom. And unsurprisingly, those who experience little to no toxicity have always been higher on that popularity ‘food chain’ - enough admirers and shared opinions that people wanna arse kiss regardless of their OWN feelings as well as neutral perspectives. I’d say you’re the lucky fans, but you’re not. You’re sheltered, and that isnt always the best way to be sadly. As for the fans. If Ive upset you. Well... I dont care. Because many of you have actively sought me out and weaponised my traumas against me. You never cared about my feelings then. Why should I care about yours? Im not doing this out of malice. Im fed up of humans behaving so pathetically yet claiming to be high and mighty. Most of you have been arseholes to those in and out of the community. The victims and non-victims alike. Hardly any of you considered once my real suffering. You put a drawing over a life. Many lives. You had the audacity to tell me Im full of shit. Some even using my real traumas to make a mockery of me and those Im around with a very similar history. Some with traumatic histories that differ from my own. You hardly ever considered the real lives of those effected. So no, Im not sorry for having the fucking balls to this day to still stand up for our rights and give us a voice that’s long been stolen. Im not sorry for being a fucking victim. Im not sorry for saying what desperately NEEDS voicing. And Im not sorry for not conforming to you or any fandom just to belong. We deserve better than to constantly be your fuckin arse monkeys (well... the trope is butt monkey but yknow-) and to be mistreated, misrepresented and harmed by you. You’re no different to the school bullies who give speeches on anti-bullying day. And I hope every single one of you starts looking into yourselves and improving. PS: Depending on the texts you read, Lucifer is said to have been redeemed or to be redeemed. Fun fact to haunt yalls with~ “

[ask-art-student-prussia]

You’re one of the only Hetalia art blogs still active that I absolutely love! Do you know any more of them?

Actually!!! I spent the past week sitting on this question, but im finally able to compile (most of) i have a bad memory and theres just so many, you see) the hetalia artists ive admired. ill write up a little blurb on each so you can know what to expect

warning, this is super long

I’m going to list my fav Prussia focused artists first:

@theknoflook is SO SO SO good at capturing the worn/rough-round-the-edges Prussia and they’re 100% the BEST at drawing the aged feel of him. They draw a lot of characters with human imperfections, it’s just such a RAW emotion I feel from each drawing.

@maplevogel I’ve admired since I was like,,, 13. You have no idea how much I want to be able to draw like them. Their watercolour illustrations are KICKASS!! They have such a sense of mystical-ness to each piece, everything is so unreal in what they draw it gives me such a sense of calm-ness. Constantly they’re using watercolour to it’s full extent, im EXTREMELY floored and always have been.

@mieudiary is another person ive admired since i was a absolute baby. Their art teeters on anime-realism and their use of lighting, shading and blending is SOOOO GOOD. They’re able to make their characters so real yet overly gorgeous lol. They’ve got the best damn detail in form/muscles (flesh) ive ever seen.

@kisamesfacioplegia is LITERALLY DRAWING RENAISSANCE PAINTINGS OKAY. Their art is always refined and carries the same aura as those huge paintings you find in museums, with extremely good storytelling and illustrations. Best historical prussia and germany on this site imo.

@carnagekiid (i dont know if they do aph anymore but their recent work is JUST AS GOOD) has the cutest modern interpretation of gil and is my fav. i personally am not a fan of like,,, the “ideal” canon prussia, and the way they draw emotion/use of colours (for all their work) with prussia has that like,,, UMMF of character, yknow what i mean??? they focus on ruspru i think but idk lol

Okay those are just the best prussia’s ive seen, heres some more general hetalia artists that focus on other characters

@payadraws is quite possibly my FAVOURITE HETALIA ARTIST???? IF NOT AT LEAST IN THE TOP 3 BC THEIR STUFF IS SO GOOD AND STYLIZED PERFECTLY. their linework is stunning, and colouring has that tone over all of it that harmonizes the whole piece. The way their utilize their style in everything is PERFECt, idk how to use words for it, just take a look. Their austria/switzerland is deadass on-the-money.

@tomato-bird Literally how does one even manage to do this. theyre professional and it fucking SHOWS. Each composition, each stroke of their pen, it shows dude. Their art has like,,, the emotions, the feeling, is really well executed and they have so much attention to detail it blows my fucking mind. like ,,, this gives of hard renaissance level mastery vibes

@paperdrawsshit is SO GOOD at using that like,,,, the form/silhouette of characters. like,, the shapes they use, the flow of each pose, the hands, ALL OF IT SCREAMS PERFECTION. Each drawing has such flow and structure at the same time, and each character has such a pretty fashion sense. Excellent use of lighting and i strive to be as good as them in drawing people

@jackce THIS ARTIST HAS LIKE.,, SUCH A CLEAN CUT ART STYLE ITS GORGEOUS. Each drawing has the smoothest lines and the characters have distinct features. Their prussia, italy and germany styles stand out so much because of the way they draw the noses, jaw, features etc. Like they look like screenshots out of a professional 2d animated feature. Seriously.

@starstray (not sure if they draw hetalia anymore but i need to tell yall about them anyway) has such gorgeous like,,, composition. like if you dug through a collection of paintings from the renaissance you’ll find a few of theirs scattered in their. The use of like,,, linework paired with the way they colour is so perfectly executed. its so balanced im shaking

@amazing-prussia has the cutest, quirkiest style with what they draw. the hair/clothes are so stylized and fluid and i love them so much!! Each drawing looks so quick and perfected, every time I see one of their pruaus doodles i fucking DIE.

@glass-soda has such gorgeous illustrative style. It’s so unique and the way they colour and draw people have this wonderful POP to it. The colours are so balanced and bright, its so SO!!!!!! LOVELY. LIKE,, IDK HOW TO KEEP FROM RAMBLING ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE THEM JUST LOOK.

@ask-risorgimento-italy (ack, dont know their main sorry) Their illustrations are so well done, you can see the thought and practice in each character!! and i love the “realistic” feel to it. I say that about characters who dont have like,,, idk “anime hair”?? but not only the hair, the clothes, the form, the ENVIRONMENT. THIS ARTIST KICKS ASS WITH THEIR ENVIRONMENT BUILDING. LOTS OF DEPTH. ABSOLUTE LEGEND.

@hetapolis !!!!! THEIR ART IS SO CLEAN AND SKETCHY AND BEAUTIFUL. OKAY. Shading/colouring is GORGEOUS. and the way they draw each character to be distinct and have unique features ITS SUPER PROFESH AND LOOKS AMAZIGN!! I admire their style so much yall got no idea

@thedisappointedidealist12 has REALLY GOOD LINEWORK/STORYTELLING. LIKE WOW. Every time i see something theyve drawn im shaking bc the pacing and execution is AMAZING. Everything about the way their art looks is super balanced and you can see the exact emotion each character is expressing.

@captainjellyroll OKAY. THIS PERSON. LEMME TELL U BOUT THIS. FIRST OF ALL. THIS IS ONE OF MY FAV ANIMATORS. THEYVE BEEN MY IDOL SINCE I WAS 11. Their work has so much energy, colour, and you can see the thought in each composition. I love them so much,,, each drawing has its own burst of energy!!! i want to be able to be like them when im older and live with like 5 cats.

@tea-artblog (they dont draw hetalia much anymore but their recent art is 100% worth looking at) OKAY. YALL. This is one of the people who’s art i looked at constantly when i first joined!! Their art is so like,,,, balanced and has just enough contrast and the colours???? EVERYTHING WORKS SO WELL. The eyes/expressions are SUPER CUTE.

@sully-s ANOTHER ARTIST WHOS STYLE IS ONE OF MY FAVS. It’s super fluid and the colours are perfect!! Each character has their own uniqueness I cant express my love of how perfect their lighting/colouring is. Their illustrations are straight out of a movie art book, its so GORGEOUS. and the environment REALLY has depth!!

@ask-victorian-austrian (dont know their main ack sorry!!), THE LINEWORK IS SO DETAILED AND CLEAN. I love the way they draw clothes/fashion, its all so detailed and gorgeous and you can feel the weight of the cloth and the lace and everything okay???? Seriously I love all their blogs, they have a bunch, and you should check out all of them!

@amoxesyoew HAS SUCH CUTE DRAWINGS!! The style in their characters’ hair is so flowy and the way they draw faces and eyes have this adorable quality to it!! the pureness of the emotions they draw are really prominent and i constantly just DIE because of it! I love love LOVE the gercan they draw too

@arschbiene THE WAY THEY DRAW FACES??? SPOT ON. The colours are SO spot on and i love the POP they give. The shading?/? SPECTACULAR. And each doodle is super cute and like,,,, when people say each drawing has a story behind it?? I FEEL THAT WITH THEIR ART OKAY. HIGHKEY.

@ekinoksin ???? HELLO??? THIS RENAISSANCE VAN GOGH MICHAELANGELO MASTERMIND OF AN ARTIST IS LIKE THE SAME AGE AS ME>????? I just foudn that out. BUT the way their art has so much depth!!!! THE BACKGROUNDS??? THE ENVIRONMENT?? ITs ALL EXTREMELY WELL DONE. And they have this texture to their art that makes it look just like historical paintings its so good!!! Im SHOOK.

@alfredtalia WORM. THeir characters all have structure and expression and everything about it has such like!!! UMFF. The way they draw certain things,, theres minor details!! and you may not notice them!! but they ADD SO MUCH!! Everything feels like it has attention to it, and it is so well balanced!!

@avlerie (again, not sure if they still draw hetalia but their art is really pretty) the way they add texture/detail to their art is SPECTACULAR. The hair???? the bodies??? It seems so structured and well drawn!! THE EYES THO. THE WAY THEY DRAW EYES ARE SO BEAUTIFUL I CANT GET ENOUGH

@elhuesoardiente DUDE IDK HOW THEY COLOUR/DO THEIR SHADING. BUT ITS SO UNIQUE AND GIVES THEIR ART THIS EXTRA LAYER OF DEPTH. The art is so gorgeous with the way they do their lighting, and everything about it has balance and harmony im just shook

@ask-2p-uk no idea how someone can even pull off art like they do. the lines/colours ARE REALLY WELL INCORPORATED to EACH DRAWING. The way they draw expressions?? is so unique??? like i love the hair too, it has this flowy-ness to it!! EVERYTHING about their style is so colourful and pretty and unique i just ghhghghg dont know how to explain it, just LOOK AT IT.

@lucerna-lunam the way their shading is,,, the “mystical”-ness of their art??? ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE. IDK How they manage to draw stuff with such like,,,, sparkle to it. But their lighting is really well done, the EYES are so gorgeous! even the way each drawing is textured!! It comes together so perfectly!!

@suckmyicelandick THE WAY THEIR HAIR IS DRAWN??? SUPER SHINY AND GORGEOUS. I love the way their draw their characters, the hands/face/hair is so stylized the second you see their art you just KNOW its drawn by them. The eyes are super detailed and its so pretty im just sobbing i love their style

@aph-lithuania OKAY one of the first hetalia artists ive ever seen when i was new. THEIR ART IS SUPER PRETTY. The colours are really smooth and THE WAY???THEY DRAW BODIES?? THE FIGURES ARE SO WELL PROPORTIONED????!!! Everything about it is so cute!!!

@ask-mr-luxembourg BRUH??? HELLO?? COLOURING, LINEWORK, PROPORTIONS, EVERYTHING IS 10/10. Seriously they way they draw hair has such texture, and the way the bodies are drawn are so good. everything about them!! and the eyes?? DEADASS KILLED ME. Their art has seriously so much detail and i just DIE every time

@ellmovy HOW DOES ONE EVEN MANAGE TO DRAW CHARACTERS AS WELL AS THEM?? Each character has distinct features and like,,, the hair is always stylized and it looks SO GOOD????!!! The amount of detail they put into drawing small things like eyebrows and freckles add so much to the overall piece like WOW

@haeko9page THIS ARTIST. HAS THE CUTEST ART EVER. Their comic strips are seriously so adorable and has really good pacing! Each time they draw comic strips, the frames are so varied and it comes together SUPER WELL. Idk how to explain this, but like,,, the “camera angles” and the way they draw expressions/character interactions go together like peanut butter and jelly!

@kyotemeru-arts (they dont draw hetalia much but i love their art so much) dude the flow?? of the poses their characters have?? the flow of the characters themselves?? SUPER WELL DONE LIKE WOW. Also the way they shade and highlight things  ?? like using more than one colour?? THAT REALLY MAKES THEIR ART POP. I LOVE THE WAY THEY CAN PERFECTLY DRAW FLUIDITY IN THEIR ART.

@frukmerunning GOLLY GEE DO I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY BOUT THEM. Just the way they draw faces, eyes and like,,,, bodies in general,, ITS ALL SO PERFECTLY BALANCED. The way they manage to make sketches look incredibly refined and capture the movement in each drawing???? LIKE IVE ADMIRED THEIR ART FOR SUCH A LONG TIME ITS BEEN 300 YEARS

@miss-ostrich-art BRUH how does one manage to draw ???? like them??? the way their characters’ forms and muscles can be seen but like not overly detailed??? they have the PERFECT amount of detail in each drawing, and the expressions!! the way they draw noses and facial structure and *italian hand gesture* PERFECT.

@maryluis THEIR EXPRESSIONS ARE SUPER DYNAMIC!!! AND THE POSES HAVE SUCH FLOW. Also did i mention the amount of detail they put into minor things?? like WOW. Seriously i think out of this list i like the way they draw expressions the best. Also this might be a weird thing to focus on, but the way theyre able to draw the interior/background/angles of things are INCREDIBLE.

@cioccolatodorima YOOOOOOO THIS IS LIKE THE FIRST ARTIST I SAW WHEN GETTING INTO THE FANDOM. ONE OF THEM AT LEAST. Their non-hetalia work is actually my fav and i want to do just what they do when im older! I love their illustrations, and their way of drawing characters/character design (ginjinka of mr.kitkat are my favs). The way their lighting looks, is SO pretty and the linework is ABSOLUTELY STUNNING. their art blog (not just hetalia) is @rainbow-taishi

@ask-badlydrawnseborga lemme tell yall about a thing. i love how funny their art is, and like,,,,, i know its “badly drawn seborga” but the way the hair flows and the proportions,, everything about it is SO nffhhklahjdj polished. LIKE IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT BC THEYRE SUCH A MEMELORD BUT I GENUINELY HAVE SO MUCH LOVE FOR THEIR SKILLL

@sabrow3 NOT ONLY IS THEIR ILLUSTRATIONS SUPER CUTE, IT HAS GREAT PROPORTIONS AND DEPTH. I love their attention to detail in clothing and historical things, and like,, the line work is AMAZING. Seriously, I want to be able to draw as well as them, its incredible how the amount of work and effort is shown in each drawing.

@buruzaitama !! The way they draw characters has like,,, this level of realism and the way they do their lighting just pushes that to the next level. I don’t know how people can pull off drawing realism yet still make it so unique that i can instantly tell that a piece is drawn by them, but this artist IS SO GOOD AT THAT. LIKE WOW

@inkodoodles Okay their “1 hour drawing challenges”? IM FLOORED ANYONE CAN DRAW THAT IN ONE HOUR. The have such detail and flow and movement in each drawing! And the lighting they have is so soft and calming, it lends itself to each piece REALLY WELL. Whatever emotion each drawing is supposed to give is conveyed to a tee

@heyheyartman BRO the style??? is so fucking UNIQUE AND ICONIC?? And the way they manage to pace comics and storytell is sO GOOD. Like,,, the way they can use shapes for each of their characters is so refined and stylized i love it. Their use of colour seriously KICKS ASS and im floored every time i see their work.

@merasgar their art is so detailed!! and the backgrounds/environments are so soft and gorgeous to look at! I have like,,,, no idea how you can pull off such beautiful hair and eyes in each drawing!! They draw a lot of rochu and like,, the features look so PERFECT for the characters ghhghghg

@yosb ALRIGHT LISTEN UP THIS ARTIST SERIOUSLY HAS ONE OF MY FAV STYLES. It’s so refined and you can see the distinct features of each character. The style isnt realism but the characters FEEL REAL. They have such a perfect way of paying attention to details and putting in proportions/facial features to each character im so amazed and love their work so much

and of course i want to include @paachubelle though theyre working on their own project ( @the-otwya-project ) now, they’re one of my like,,,, friends that i made on this blog through hetalia ask blogs and i figured id like to include them on this list. Idk how people can draw in pencil with such detail and everything but they do it EXPERTLY. The line work is always so clean and the shading is always so well done!!

of course, im very clumsy and forgetful so i know i forgot some names but i cant remember things!! Either way, these are some of my all time favourite iconic hetalia (and non-hetalia) artists!! I want to be able to draw as well as them one day!

[starryace]

my personal introduction to vav

so i have a few friends who’ve been wanting to get into vav but dunno where to start so... i’ll just do this lil thing. obviously there’s gonna be my own opinions so don’t take everything i say to heart but like... here we go

vav (very awesome voice -- pronounced vee-ay-vee but i say vav bc im lazy) debuted in 2015, but when they debuted they had a different lineup. zehan, xiao, and gyeoul all left to pursue other activities. ziu, lou, and ayno joined the group in 2017! the fandom is called vampz because of the groups original concept but we don’t talk about that

title tracks/mvs: *under the moonlight | *brotherhood | *no doubt | *here i am | venus (dance with me) | flower (you) | abc (middle of the night) | she’s mine | spotlight | gorgeous | give it to me | senorita | **so in love | **thrilla killa | **i’m sorry | give me more

* = pre-line up switch! | ** = without jacob (due to his participation in a chinese program)

more about the members under the cut!

st van (lee geumhyuk)

note: during updating i ended up having to redo this entire section bc my computer deleted it all... sigh.

everyone’s dad

kinda gives off party vibes, like a cool club dad, you know?

super duper soft :(( he laughs at everything and he loves gentle things and he may be the oldest but he’s babie

gets really embarrassed really easily and blushes and laughs it off

oh! he also laughs with like... his entire body ekhrbgj

tattoos! on his shoulder and right arm

full sleeve completed

self composed the track “im sorry” off of the thrilla killa album

he lived in china for 13+ years and can speak fluent (if not, almost fluent) chinese

he’s super good cook and he wanted to be a chef before becoming an idol

loves jacob :(( with all his heart

weird but he can drink a lot of water really quickly, that’s his special talent

got a dog with the group! her name is cash and she’s super cute

im sure there’s more but i got mad after my computer deleted everything so i’ll get back to updating this part when things dawn on me

baron (choi chunghyeop)

dancer extraordinaire! he actually used to be in a dance team before vav

smiley boy ;;;; literally he has the prettiest smile and the nicest teeth

he can play the piano and a lil guitar im p sure!

he’s honestly a lil shit but we love him anyway

he’s very mom like, and loves taking care of the members, but i spy with my lil eye someone a lil more mom-like but that comes later

he choreographed a cover of shape of you!

unfortunately, his mom passed away early this year (may she rest in peace).

his nickname is baby prince (from his mom) and it was because of his mom that he was able to become and idol

baron singing??? yes,,, yeS!! his voice is godsent istg

he loves loves loves music and dance

wont shut up about millennium dance studio

was the pizza delivery boy in minx’s why did you come to my home

has a very intensive skin care routine

he!! loves!! food!! constantly nomming

ace (jang wooyoung)

remember how i said how i thought there was someone more mom like? meet ace.

literally babies everyone

eSPECIALLY ayno + ziu (sometimes lou, when lou will let him)

sassy, diva, can also be a lil shit -- esp with baron... 92 line is just lil shit line

lil fucking tease, too--

he has an oral fixation-- licks his lips a lot no bueno for me

teal hair? god tier. senorita? also god tier. everything about him? god tier.

plays the guitar... see senorita

“you’re doing wonderful sweetie” but like... a living version of that

abs... abs for days..........

works out with jacob

dimples!! but it’s more prominent on the right cheek.

god he’s??? literally ethereal. like i can’t put into words how pretty he is

he ;;;; has the purest, most sweetest heart

they need to start letting ace have more lines bc omg his voice ;;;;;

really good with kids ;;;;; they love him

he’s a BIG flirt, it’s like when he opens his mouth the only thing he thinks to do is say “i love you” or “you’re mine” or smthn

Prince Wooyoung™

ayno (noh yoonho)

was on no.mercy -- still kinda keeps in contact with monsta x now (hims was lil babie minhyuk)

yknow how baron is dancer? so is ayno -- aYNO IS GOD TIER DANCER ok he ;;;;; ugh he’s literally so talented

he raps too! also god tier

hims a soundcloud rapper -- dropped zero coke (mixtape) and god that boy is talented

self composed their song touch you (aka one of my fave vav songs)

ace’s baby... really, he’s vav’s baby, but still

fake maknae to the max. it still baffles me that he’s older than the others ima list

hims also pretty shy, but it’s real cute ;;;;

lou has such a big fat crush on him and he’s always embarrassed by it

he zones out a lot and is very mellow & quiet until something inside him switches and then he’s like BAM loud and crackhead

ziu.... brings out... the crackhead in him lbr

former happyface ent trainee w/ ziu

puppy!

also really good with kids!! prolly bc he is a big kid himself erhbjeg

often writes his own raps for songs

jacob (zhang peng)

resting bitch face to the max

800% done with everyone’s shit

chinese member!

he was performing in a chinese show called all for one -- his team got eliminated (sad) but that means he’ll be returning to the group (happy!)

that’s why he wasn’t in so in love/thrilla killa/im sorry

hims loves his st van

he also eats... a lot.

ok but like... he works out with ace, right? boy has such chiseled and nicely defined abs, it pains me

he’s a happy lil sunshine boy

savage as fuck

his smile literally adds 5 years to your lifespan

all of the members miss him so much ;;;; its honestly super wholesome and every once in a while they’ll be like “omg cobi would love this” or “jacob....... we miss you”

but then you have shithead lou being like “i mean... its nice having the room to myself” wrehbjehg

he dance too! idk what type of dancing it is but he does it!!!

he was in the chinese movie “the dreamer on the catwalk”

BRING HIM BACK ATEAM PLS I MISS HIMS

HE HAS RETURNED AND HE’S STRONGER THAN EVER

lou (kim hosung)

my #1, my one and only, my precious sweetheart

tall as fUCK

has a deep ass motherfucking voice

grew up in georgia as a kid (can speak fluent english) and then the philippines when he was a teen!

kinda the more quiet & reserved member

but dont let that fool you......

he too is a lil shit

AND A CHAOTIC GAY -- ziu bothers him a lot but he has a big ol’ crush on ayno and he never shuts up about how pretty he is and how much he loves him

he can be a grouchy lil bitch too tho hkerbjeg

in this interview baron and st van were being cute and he’s just in the corner like “youuuu shouuuld daaaate” -- gay. in the same interview thats one instance where he wouldn’t shut up about ayno

hims a rapper too!! he often writes his own raps for songs (much like ayno)

his own mixtape (goodnight) literally is so nice i listen to it all the time

he has a vlive thing he does called lou-dio and it’s real cute

big ears = the cutest thing ever ehkrbgjeh

he collects a bunch of stuff!! like pop figures and toys, like souvenirs from everywhere they go

he was in the youtube webdrama “lemon car video” (eps 1, 3, 7, and 8)

his stage name is lou (pronounced “low” but i refuse to say that) because his voice is so low

ziu (park heejun)

chaotic. just chaotic. chaotic gay, chaotic maknae, chaotic man.

he’s the real maknae tho... doesn’t look it, huh?

manly af

literally so charismatic and funny as hell

wants kisses + love + attention from everyone

goes in for a kiss -- everyone else usually backs away but he’s always disappointed that no one gives into him

kisses kisses kisses

did i mention kisses?

he makes a lot of random ass noises all the time

screm... lots of screm. like you know opossums?? think that kinda screm.

his vocals ;;;;; his singing voice is so, so nice ;;; i adore it.

his room is dirty af i could NEVER

he does some really questionable things sometimes... see here.

like i said, i cannot express this enough... he’s so charismatic. so charming. so handsome.

also!! super hyper fluff ball. hims cute.

aegyo up the wazoo too

former happyface ent trainee with ayno

was in the fri.sat.sun teasers by dalshabet

can get p loud & annoying but that doesnt change how much we love him

idk if any of that made sense... but there you go! there’s so much more to vav and everything they do and who they are, so i hope this just kinda gets more people to look into them? it’s a stepping stone, not everything possible to learn.

+ keep in mind, a lot of this stuff comes from both kprofiles, what i’ve seen in videos, and my own personal opinions & inputs. so... yeah. don’t use what i say as truth/fact unless you see stuff to back it up (or you adopt it as your own opinion idk).

thank you for taking your time to read this!!

[frankensteindotpdf]

Jon’s TGWDLM Livestream

I offered to write out all of Jon’s answers in his q&a (not verbatim, just a summary but also it got a little long, sorry for that) so here it is! sorry if there’s typos, i wrote this at 2am lmao i put most of the qs in bold

it was hard not to kiss jeff in WDYWP, especially because his face was so close (great way to start it off)

“Sing the beginning of Moana wasnt improvised”

He loves Not Your Seed and Show Stopping Number

His favourite piece of fanart is one of the first ones with red paul blue paul (in let it out) and he had it as his homescreen for a while

he got into starkid by doing Power Prom with jeff and lauren, (as well as another show with jeff and another with quite a few of the starkids) and then they asked him if he was interested in auditioning and he sent in a video audition and tah dahhh

if he could play any other character from tgwdlm it’d be hidgens (though he says part of the reason he loves hidgens so much is because robert did such a good job fleshing him out)

“how close are you and jeff” “uhh who’s jeff?”

paul’s job was originally gonna be a movie critic (buzzfeed-esque) (and at one point in WDYWP they brought up how he was reviewing a Hamilton movie musical-which was, incidentally, his fav deleted bit) but it ended up being at a customer service center “but most of the time he fixes printers and plays on the internet”

jaime helped out with some of the lyrics to CORC/COPC because she’s a barista

his fav memory with the cast was before shows and one time when they hung out after the show at a diner

his fav line that almost made him break every time was “Latte hottay...my wife...yknow like borat, dude” (it made him break a couple of times but he was always walking off stage like right as he said it)

he really liked the line “we’ll make a jammin’ cup of java, mocha latte with the froth for you, jack, frappuccino!” he just thought the wordplay was real good

fav joke was probs the moana bit (he broke a couple of times there too)

fav song was Show Stopping Number (and he said the way the songs flow when you’re listening to it on the album is so good)

he never found it boring to go to rehearsals because James and Lauren are such good choreographers and all the actors are so good at singing and dancing he got to watch them perform all the time and he really enjoyed it (how pure)

his reaction to hearing the show’s plot was “hell yeah, this is gonna be so much fun”

when he first heard let it out he was stoked because in high school he had tried performing Confrontation from Jekyll and Hyde with just a boom box so no one could actually hear the music and it didnt go well so he felt like that song was letting him redeem himself

his fav moment from the show’s run was the first show because they were so stressed because it was the first time they went all the way through the show with tech and music and it went really well “It was magical. we were all,like, on this adrenaline endorphin high and, uh, it was awesome.”

fav character from any starkid show is either nick playing robin or nick playing obi wan from Ani (he’s seen the scene where obi wan walks into the bar “probably a million times” because he loves the timing and the dry humour) but also nick gage as sultan from Twisted

fav moment to watch in the show was the part after Not Your Seed when the aliens were trying to talk at the same time

“would i have wanted to sing more? no, because i got to sing these two awesome songs” Let It Out was really fun to do but also daunting, and in Inevitable he got to sing parts of the other songs

no real mishaps with the blood capsules, just getting fake blood all over his face and shirt (but that was fine cuz it made him look like more of a badass in the next scene, as long as he remembered not to wipe it off)

fav line that he said? “ok”

“will i ever make my own version of Love Never Dies?” he wants to be in a musical about death (more of a “silly fun romcom”) and thinks that concept has so much potential

he’s inspired by The Adventure Zone and that’s where he got the name Travis from (idk what he’s talking about being inspired about, he never really says)

if paul drank the coffee, he would have been infected

there were no pranks, but

before one of the last shows he was rehearsing outside and he “stepped in human poop” like 20 minutes before he had to go on (he threw out the shoes ofc and luckily a member of the band had extra shoes that fit)

general advice? “number 1 surround yourself with people who love and support you and that you trust and you like to have a lot of fun with 2 if you can develop a skill that you l can support yourself when you’re not working, develop that skill, its really important just so you can put food on the table and also you’ll hear a ton of advice and there are a lot of training programs about how to act and how to sing but find whatever works for you...understand the character and do whatever you can to remove tension” (that was a lot lmao but i thought it was good advice)

there were lots of little improvised bits in the show but his fav was trying to figure out what he and emma were gonna say when they were going through the alleys

before every show they’d put their arms around each other and make a one word story (i can explain the game if you dont know what it is)

paul still wants a carpet

the starkid actor he’d want to play paul (if it wasnt him) would be brosenthal or brolden

fav food is “fuh”?  im sorry im a dummy ive heard of it but i cant spell it but yeah he likes it cuz it hydrates you and it’s delicious

he doesnt know the “alexa play despacito” meme

he’d love to speak mandarin (and do a film in china, he’s never been)

paul cant hear the background music when the aliens sing

his fictional band would be named either Territorial Fashionistas, The Light Quixotic, or Immortal Bond

fav fan moment was with a fan who had just had a really bad breakup which reminded of himself and how being true to yourself is more important than staying with your partner

dark mode looks cooler on his phone so he likes it best

in songs where he got to watch others singing and dancing, he was smiling on the inside and the fact that he couldnt sing or dance for most of the musical was made up for by the songs he did get to 

MY QUESTION!! (yes, i screamed) “Why did Paul offer bill and mr.davidson a ‘nice caramel frappe, nothing better’ when he only ever ordered black coffee?” he’s gotten them for Bill before cuz it’s his favourite, and he was just saying anything to try to get away from mr.davidson

he knows the lyrics to Moana because he secretly loves musicals after having watched so many with Alice growing up, but he wont even admit it to himself “he says he likes hamilton way more than mamma mia, so, yknow. he has an opinion”

he hopes it’ll come to chicago but he doesnt know if it will

his fav musical is a tie between Chess and Little Shop of Horrors

the backstage was really nice

he was honoured to have lauren spit on him

he was, of course, sad when it was over (but he’s stoked to move to LA)

finally, in the ending he revealed what his decision was for the end with paul, but i think it’s better expressed through a gif so check out: https://showstoppinnumber.tumblr.com/post/182153650669/theguywhodidnotlikemusicals

that was so long haha sorryyy i didnt wanna leave out anything. it was fun! hope you enjoy it, @realshowstopper!! if y’all have any qs hmu

[chimcharstar]

I ASK EVERYTHING FROM ANGEL TO WOBBLY

COMING RIGHT UP

♡ cute asks ♡

angel; do you have a nickname?

G!

awe; how old are you?

21

baby; favorite color?

purple

bloop; spirit animal?

i know what youre trying to do bug

blossom; favorite book/movie/song?

my favourite movie today is always be my maybe. do yourself a favor and watch keanu reeves act his heart out

blush; what was your stuffed animal as a child?

lucky, a little white tiger. i still have her.

breeze; most precious childhood memory?

maybe my mom making me tea or something. ow ow nostalgia

bright; mermaids or fairies?

fairies

bubbles; do you have a best friend?

YEAH

buttercup; showers or baths?

showers

butterfly; dream destination?

maybe ... the countryside, but one i havent been to before?

buttons; are you religious or spiritual?

yes, very. while feeling at war with it all the time cause of the gay angst. but lbr. i prayed for some coffee and i got some. i also pray when some real shit is happening. its just my nature. i have a very strong intuition when im not panicking. TOO BAD MY PARENTS DISHED OUT TONS OF SPIRITUAL ABUSE I CANT REALLY HEAL FROM

calm; favorite scent?

this candle that has vanilla in it. i like the smell of vanilla because it smells sweet and im like. !!!! kindness!!!

candlelight; what did you dream about last night?

i dreamed my siblings were all bickering and blaming each other endlessly and saying cruel things, and i was trying to tell them to stop but my voice was hoarse and no one could hear me. the voice part makes more sense when you consider i lost my voice talking lots at the Job and ive been Way too worried about it and its also a Passing thing

charming; have you ever been in love?

yes... overrated

cozy; eye/hair color?

red hair green eyes

cuddly; what’s your favorite time period?

the afternoon when i can take a walk with some coffee and music or, faceplant on my bed and fall asleep on the spot and then wake up feeling very well napped

cupcake; favorite flower/plant?

i really like bonsais. or ... whatever type of bonsai i keep buying. they grow fast so you can notice their progress, they can survive bad mental health weeks, and you can shape them, they kind of grow with you

cute; what did you get on your last birthday?

i .... forget a lot. i forget these kinds of things. i hope it doesnt mean it didnt matter to me. i remember being really lonely on my last birthday and pretending not to be and then crying to my diary that no one is allowed to read

cutie pie; most precious item you own?

any bonsai, any jacket, thats my soul. or my phone lol

cutsie; what makes you happy?

people saying small nice things

daisies; describe a moment when you felt free.

just the other day when i was starting to play stardew valley again and i had some tea i think... 

daydream; how do you want to be remembered?

i want to have been Known as more than just shy and polite

daylight; favorite album of all time?

idk of all time, but say you will by fleetwood mac FUCKS, i will destroy my ears on public transit with that

dear; zodiac sign?

sagittarius

delightful; concerts or museums?

?????? N/A unfortunately

dimples; have you ever written a letter?

yes, i have written all sorts of letters, not snail mail but yknow... that is my jam. i have used it for good and evil

dobby; dream job?

writer of , books or screenplays or something

doll; how do you like to dress?

behold my array of gay jackets. hoods... gay layers... with some flowers. i have some shit with flowers on it. an old man complimented me on a train once. because im amazing

dovey; any paranormal/magical experiences?

my roommates say theres a ghost dude downstairs but ive never seen him. not really actually.

dreams; do you want or have any tattoos?

no, and ive thought about a tattoo but im like... i cant imagine picking a decoration and then being satisfied with it for the rest of my life, and being so... open like that, i change my mind and worry too much...

drizzle; do you believe in aliens?

yes bitch. theres water on mars im sitting here patiently

euphoric; talk about someone you love.

the demigirl reading this

fairy; do you have a pet?

no :(

fluffy; ocean or mountain?

mountain... no ocean.. im feeling ocean

forever; where do you feel time stop?

i havent felt like that in a looong time. maybe this one place with streams, when its raining really heavily and everythings Gushing

froglet; are you a good plant owner?

i have kept... 5 bonsais alive for a while.

garden; how many languages do you know?

one. with some rocky french that makes me ACTUALLY want to learn french, and then frustratingly be on the brink of speaking french

gem; who are your favorite tumblrs?

i cant find the name right now but they make this pixel art and put sentences that are kinda so gentle and pining... i love it

giggles; what is your aesthetic of choice?

homemade coffee in a messy kitchen with some sun coming in, youre kind of sleepy

glittery; do you like anons? why/why not?

yes!!! i wanna talk!!!!!

glow; list the top 5 things you like about yourself

ok... i know how to be Respectful, im a strong person, im good with self-expression, i like my voice... AND IM CUTE

heart; silk or lace?

silk

honey; coffee or tea? how do you take it?

coffee, so much sugar and a bit of scream.

hugsy; do you enjoy people watching or bird watching more? why?

BIRD WATCHING. because watching people can get awkward real fast, and birds dont give a fuck. birds are fat little boys jumpin around. they dont worry about their jobs. i respect that. 

hunnybunch; what sounds help you sleep?

Harmonious People Noises. i dont actually listen to sounds going to sleep when maybe i should. because of how i grew up im fine listening to music or people playing instruments falling asleep, even with the light on

jewel; what’s your favorite kind of weather?

that part of autumn where its colourful and not too cold not too hot, and sun everywhere

jiggly; what do you usually like to do on weekends?

i do stuff like take walks and do a few errands and water plants... and just chill and enjoy not having pressing stuff to do. 

joy; do you laugh loudly or giggle more?

i am a serious giggler but i recently got a booming laugh, or it sounds like that to me

kinky; do you blush easily?

no. apparently not. but sometimes i feel my face heat up and then im really, really counting on it that that doesnt mean im blushing because its at the worst possible times to blush

kisses; what romantic cliché do you wish for most?

SOULMATE... SOMEONE I DONT HAVE TO SAY GOODBYE TO...

kitty; what’s your favorite time of the day?

i feel like i already answered this but ill pick a different time. evening is nice because im a night owl and i focus better and i can relax and do whatever

ladybug; what’s your favorite artist to listen to when you’re sad?

fleetwood mac and bLAST it on public transit

love; what is your favorite season and why?

autumn, because pretty, haloween

lovey; what is your favorite flavor of macaron and ice cream?

i dont know about macaron but that cookie dough ice cream is some good

magic; what are five flaws you have?

overthinking, clinging to comfort zone, procrastinating, isolating, either i dont stand up for myself or i do it too harshly

moonlight; do you prefer soft pastels, warm neutrals, or cool darks?

they all sound so lovely im feeling warm neutrals rn

munchkin; what do you look for in your significant other?

emotional labour, similar energy level

paddywack; how would you describe a perfect date?

I JUST WANT TO SPEND TIME WITH SOMEONE and there has to be food

pebbles; how do you spend free time by yourself?

doing THIS... all my free time... is basically by myself

precious; what is something valuable that you learned in your life?

you dont have to be useful to be valuable. you deserve love just because you exist, and even if you feel strongly that everything sucks, that could be your comfort zone talking. im having a mental health week

pretty; do you like to cook or bake more?

cook. id bake but then i eat stuff that doesnt make my stomach as happy

prince; how would you describe your handwriting?

oh its GORGEOUS. i have been practising my handwriting in my Diary for Months.

princess; do you play any instruments? if not, are there any you wish you could play?

yes, piano mostly... ive been feeling Urges to play guitar lately that have surprised me

prinky; how do you relieve stress?

doing something restful/mentally restoring like taking a break or talking calming things to myself

pumpkin; what is your favourite kind of fruit/vegetable?

LOVE THAT ZUCCHINI...F RY THAT BITCH WITH GARLIC AND ONION...

rainbow; what was the last line of the last book you read?

i have not read a book

roses; what is the most significant event in your life so far?

realizing im trans

smile; what is one thing that has greatly affected you?

ill think of a nice one, moving away from my parents, theres been so much healing

shine; art or music?

MUSIC

shimmer; do animals tend to like you?

yes

smitten; do you collect anything?

bonsais?? 

smoochies; how many pillows do you sleep with?

one

snuggle; what is your favourite candy?

chocolate, any,

snuggly; do you have a camera? if so, what kind?

phone camera, ithas all these cool filters and things it can do, it says my plants are food

sparkle; do you wear jewelry?

occasionally. its mostly the black tourmaline bracelet

spooky; sunrise or sunset?

sunset, that is the beautifulest

sprinkles; do you like to listen to music with headphones or no headphones?

with headphones. i just ... maybe this is a growing up thing but i cant imagine Taking Up Space playing my music out loud... then other people can judge my music choice... theyd Know things about me... 

starlight; what was your favourite show as a child?

save ums. i have this answer ready to go. that is because after five i stopped having a tv

soft; describe your favourite spot in your house.

my rooooooommmmmmmmmm my BED

soothe; digital or vinyl?

digital? what is this about?

squeezed; who do you miss right now?

my sister. she always says i never hang out but ... she doesnt seem interested in things i actually like... she tries and she cares but...

sugary; what traits do you value most in friends?

loyal, honest

sunshine; do you prefer for things to be practical or aesthetically pleasing?

practical, i just cant focus on aesthetic because then i get way too picky with eeeverything

sweet; do you find it easy to open up?

NO, unless i am on tumblr where there are no Laws. or it depends on how easy the person is to talk to.

sweetie; do you like kids? if so, do you ever want to have any?

yes, yes but NOT RIGHT NOW, i think kids are really Good, theyre simple and honest

thimble; is there somebody you look up to? who are they?

i look up to the Bosses at my work, i mean they seem like they try really hard and do a good job and they have to lead everyone else too i respect that

toot; what is something you find unique about yourself?

the emotional intelligence dial. it is maybe too far. but im realizing that isnt so common.

tootsie; what kind of friend are you?

i hope, at least the kind i would want. probably very energetic, with negative or positive stuff

treasure; what was something that made you smile today?

another person at work called me by my last name. i find this funny because 1) it sounds funny to just shout 2) why are they all so fascinated with it .... yknow its because they wanted it to see if it was ramsay. did they seriously think. bunch of cooking nerds. is this their new power move.

velvet; are you an early bird or a night owl?

niGHT OWL

whiffle; if you could have a magical power, what would it be?

shapeshifting

whimsical; do you prefer doing stuff at home or going out?

home, but i would enjoy going out with the right people i think. which has never happened.

whiskers; do you usually wear makeup?

no

wiggly; are you a messy or tidy person?

tidy

wispy; do you like the place where you grew up? do you think you will live there when you get older?

yes, and no. my heart is set on being Out in the Nature though. i dont know if i can really really go back to where i grew up. theres so many complicated and painful feelings around it, and im not really welcome. 3

wobbly; have you ever wished upon a star?

yes, i wish on all kinds of stuff all the time

[engrateful]

11/3/2017

i realized a few days i couch surf metaphorically between the comforts of different people its really stupid but i still do it lol. bad enough i feel like my home isnt my home in the same sense that it was before.

the honeymoon phase is over and i know very well he hates texting cause its so ‘empty’. doesnt stop me from consistently dropping 100 to 0 tho with some shitty depressive episode every time im home cause of it.

alabama is a strange place. now that i have this second home, i get this ‘unfair’ feeling whenever im there. i look at all these new people i know and all i can think is god they live here. this is their life every day and not some week long visitation. its jealousy. i know that. 

my boyfriend lives in a beautiful two story house, next to a literal mansion 10 acres over. its quiet, in the middle of nowhere with gorgeous roads and so many trees. you can see probably 40 miles out from the big window at their top of the staircase.

i always peep out of it when i walk by.

outside the city where my boyfriend lives, more towards the middle of the whole state, the land feels like the southern dream. the kinda shit you see in country movies, yknow. i dont think ive ever seen so many farms in one stretch of road- im very determined to get him to stop one day so i can pet a few of the cows i see every time im there. theyre so damn cute :’)

its a place that feels happy. i only have happy memories from there. im away from a stressful home, and i forget that my life still has to move on.  thats where the whiplash of coming home sets in because suddenly im alone 24/7 and i feel like ive lost every connection that i had here, back home.

ive met new people. considerably a group of people who i can call my own. two girls, 4 or 5 guys. i love them. i dont really know how much they love me though. when we’re all drunk tho they definitely express it, and i do feel a part of something when im in those moments. its a warm feeling and i feel at home in a sense thats more than just comfort. otherwise i dont dance really, nor sing loud. half the time im partying im there to just get shit faced and then probably nap mid celebration in a strangers bed. i wanna grow out of that though, i wanna be a bit more wild. i feel maybe that would make me more likable in a new way. maybe i can feel more included as someone who’s just like everyone else. who knows :-/ i feel ok with who i am somewhat. 2018 might be really good for me.

i still have time to get myself together i think.

[possibilistfanfiction]

hey jude!!! just read ur last anon abt being nb and wondered if u could talk abt ur own gender experience?

well basically i didnt grow up in a very open household, like rly Zero discussion of gender, so i know i Experienced gender entirely but i played almost exclusively with the boys in my class until probably grade 6 or 7, & at puberty, even tho i was a better athlete than most boys in my class still, i started hanging out with girls more, at recess, etc. i was always into androgyny, even if i had no idea (& i didn’t) what that was—i liked some femme things, absolutely, but i wanted nothing to do w skirts or pretty shoes. i wanted to be in adidas running sneakers 24/7 if i could help it, & i wore a uniform to school w the option of a skirt/pants, & im p sure i always wore pants. at the time this, to me, seemed more functional, & it was, but it was also, as i can understand now, something that made me feel Less like a girl, although not at all like a boy.

when i was older, 12, 13, 14, my parents wanted me to dress nicer, & i was v much into like american eagle shit, although by mid hs i was into some vintage stuff. one rly big odd style influence for me was mia wasikowksa in this weird movie called restless bc it was this v soft femme androgyny & i think for me this kind of gender expression became very important to see & understand. it wasn’t that she didn’t look like a girl, or that she wasn’t a girl, but she also sometimes looked like a boy, or wore boys clothes, but she wasn’t butch. idk this movie sent me for a loop honestly lol. 

& obviously my understanding of gender expression didn’t correlate (& doesn’t correlate!) w so many gender identities, & “passing” is extremely harmful as a notion, etc. but when i was younger my understanding of gender & sexuality was very limited & began to expand when i saw very femme but still andro ppl, even tho i couldn’t articulate it at the time. 

when i was a teenager i knew i didnt want to rly have a single thing to do w any boy, which made me sure i was a lesbian bc thats the only narrative i’d rly known abt queerness, or queer women, or even queer ppl who presented as femme. there werent any out lesbians at my school (no fucking way), & the only out queer kid at all was a white gay guy a year older than me, who was popular in the way white gay boys can be popular in high school. but i read voraciously, was fascinated by the crossdressing in shakespeare (paris in the merchant of venice was a particular fixation of mine?) & anyway. i knew i was queer, i knew i liked girls, & i knew i was outrageously uncomfortable w my body, particularly my breasts. for a long time i thought this was because i was ashamed of my sexuality, when i came to sort of understand that, but ofc now i know abt dysmorphia & dysphoria, so yknow. knowledge.

when i went to college i came out big time, & it became very important to me to both be queer & look sort of queer but not queer enough to be Queer—i wanted ppl to be like ‘maybe into girls, but maybe straight.’ as im sure many of us know, this was a lot of internalized shame abt a lot of things, so that sucks. however, i cut my hair which was like the first comfortable thing i had done for my appearance in a v long time, & also smth which my parents hated & i did anyway. i wore a Lot of rly femme stuff bc they hated it tho? so this was all v confusing for me bc my parents are v homophobic, & here i was in college starting to read queer theory & gender theory & falling in love w like. the most beautiful, brilliant girl, & also spiraling into a mixed episode after i got diagnosed w bipolar I, which sort of put everything else on the backburner for a year. 

eventually tho i sorted that out (as much as u can sort smth like that out) & i started to rly pay attention to androgyny. i went to europe & i think theres a whole bunch of nuances to fashion that exist there that certainly arent here, & i spent a winter in warsaw so there were aspects to fashion & expression there that were entirely abt functionality, which i was v attracted to. in college, as well, & especially after college, gender became smth i was v much invested in bc i was (& absolutely am) a feminist, so my place in the canon & zeitgeist was one as a queer female writer. it was so so central to who i was, & what i was writing abt. every single thing i wrote in college was in some way a balm, some sort of piece abt myself, learning abt trauma & the body. sorting through a lot of hurt. i could write a theory piece abt elizabeth bishop & reading it back now i know it was also abt me, that kinda stuff.

when i went to toronto i rly rly started being invested in looking critically at gender & my experience of it bc being read as a woman was smth that was grating on me, even tho i had identified as woman for so long, & had no desire at all to transition. i know 100% i am not a trans man, so that was confusing for a long time because i sort of knew there was a space between but it was very hard to conceptualize. eventually i sort of came to understand gender is a color wheel where cis boys are blue & cis women are pink & then theres literally a ton of other colors out there, so yknow. lots of different experiences of gender. some days i feel much more strongly like i identify w women (in mostly political situations, it matters to me to be read as “female” sometimes bc rights for ppl w vaginas AND trans women are FUCKED UP in so many places). some days i hate the idea of identifying as a woman. i also never want to identify as a man. so when i was in toronto i rly started to know a LOT of queer ppl w so many different expressions of gender. & we were all young & lovely & open & fucked up & we would get fucked up but we would also go read together in the park & wander around alleys in the snow & like. there’s a Muchness to toronto that i experienced that helped me, personally, understand these intersections between my own sexuality & gender & expression as much more than just a gay woman who isn’t butch & isn’t femme. i was rly lucky to become part of a community that identified as Queer, & so i became v much understanding of these different aspects of my own identity that fell outside of binary—my sexuality, my gender. Queerness is a vital & profound thing to me & i was rly able (& so fortunate) to have a close friend group of mostly queer ppl & then a few of the actual literally most incredible allies i’ve ever known & will ever know. 

so then from there i just rly kinda thought abt things & like i got a binder & stuff in TO but rly started to evaluate my dysmorphia & dysphoria (i had struggled really badly w an eating disorder in/post college) & was able to sort out that so much of it had to do w feeling uncomfortable in the way my body was read in the world. & that will always happen bc i LOVE makeup & i have a “feminine” voice & sometimes i love skirts & i shave my legs bc i like how it feels sometimes & i dont ever want to go on T—none of these things make anyone ANY gender, but ofc theyre coded as “female.” but i’m learning to just yknow educate where i can & take a lot of solace in the community of ppl i have fostered who support & understand my Being. i’ve also allowed myself to be invested in aesthetics & fashion & how much a role that plays bc like. yah fuck Yah i look cool shit bc my friends love it & absolutely i wanna wear the same vans maia mitchell has & i want a melodrama hoodie & i LOVE local toronto designers & their angsty patches abt sad songs & whiskey but i love fashion born out of histories that is connected to smth i can understand, like queer punk movements, or smth my friends & i share, like blundstones (which are gender neutral, which is cool). i’m fascinated in how ppl express their Selves, & we are so unfortunately Finite in our bodies in the sense that that’s rly how the world, in our day to day interactions, processes who & what we are. so i invest in the care of mine by trying to listen to it, trying to make it comfortable—& clothing is a huge thing that can do that. also its fun so anyone who thinks loving (ethical, cool) fashion is vain can eat my ass

anyway lmao now i have a p decent sense, atm at least, of what makes my body its most comfortable (even if that is v far from Comfortable at times). i love my tattoos, & i basically never rly want long hair again i’m p sure, & i love makeup, & if i could wear vans or blundstones every day for the entirety of my life at this point that would be incredible. those are easy things, & i try to allow my body, in its cultural place, to have access to them as much as possible, which is so important to me in a sense of having access to a physical space that matches my mental space of gender identity. politically sometimes i feel v v much a “woman” in terms of my lived experience, & i allow that of myself as well. sometimes when i write it’s important to me that my poetry be read as a queer person but also someone who is culturally coded as a woman, bc those are still always central concerns of my work—the trauma, the power there. but day to day i’m mostly happy spending my time obsessing over other things, like what to call this new genre of music halsey & lorde are making, or why my dog stevie is a Fanatic when it comes to ice cubes. ive come to enough terms w my gender, & my sexuality—& the expression thereof—that unless someone is talking abt gender, or someone asks me a question, it’s not smth that is constantly on my mind, which is. Nice. its so nice lol. 

also i would like to point out that i know my experience being non binary is rly rly white & western in so many ways & i get that. my cultural experience of non binary gender is also v much this like. ive felt frustrated before but never in my life have i felt scared to be non-binary while i was like out & abt in the world, bc i still pass as a cis white woman literally everywhere all the time (which has its pros & cons but like, still, a lot of privilege). so i do try to keep all of that in mind as well when i try to center myself & all that jazz

& who tf knows where all of that will take me. i feel like, bc ive learned to listen to my body & my brain so much better than i did when i was younger—even when they might hate themselves—i am so much better at filling up a space in the world that occupies smth healthy. which is not smth i take lightly, & i’m also so open to changes, as long as they feel good & beneficial & true. which is sort of new for me. who knows man ur mid twenties are a wild ride 

[zonerz]

All of the questions for the shipping thing 😈

AAAAAAAAA Im gonna d i e I hope ur happy abt this long post u dork

Talk about the first ship you ever had.Dang dude,,,,,,, makin me think,,,,,, I suppose it was Jay and Nya from Ninjago?? I thought they were cute but wasnt like SUPER into it, the other one that I was into was me shipping an “OC” with Lloyd L m a oTalk about three of the most important ships throughout your life.Three most important? Uhhhh idk abt important exactly, like idk what the whole requirements for one being more important than another would be. Though, the main one that always makes me happy, no matter the circumstance, is McHanzo. Idk what it is about it but it always makes me smile and helped cheer me up plenty of times throughout the year hahaWhat’s your current OTP?McHanzo or Sonadow tbhWhat’s your current NOTP?shi//ma//da//cestDo you have any poly ships?Yes with some of my OCs!!How do you feel about love triangles?They CAN be done right but most of the time im just over here like, ‘UGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH No one c a r e s’How do you feel about RPF?Idk what that stands for 3Have you ever shipped yourself with a character?Not myself, but my OCs. Tho I suppose my first ever OC was very similar in looks so I suppose partiallyDo you have many ships that never got together at all?Lmao yeah man, most people seem to forget that McHanzo started out as a crack ship hahaDo you ship any characters that have never met?See the previous statementTalk about your favorite first kiss.Wonderbat in the Starcrossed episode. It was gr8 man. Kissing to blend in with the crowd.Have you ever been disappointed when your ship finally got together?The Nya-Jay-Cole love triangle was forced and stupid. LETTHEMBEHAPPY–Has a ship ever broken your heart?HAVE YOU EVER READ UNDER THE WISTERIA TREE? IVE NEVER BEEN SO EMOTIONAL OVER A FIC. I SOBBED FOR A GOOD HOUR AFTERWARDS MANHow do you feel about will they/won’t they?I think it depends on the material, like Wonderbat in JL was a good one cause we still got content for it here and there but it was never ‘official’ but it wasnt relentlessly teased at teither, it wasnt a main focus nor dragged down the show. It was acceptable cuz they were also, yknow superheroes and Bruce isnt the type of character to just suddenly settle down

But otherwise I think it can get really annoying and unnecessary if done wrongHave you ever “shipped at first sight”?Yeah lolTalk about a ship you initially disliked.Im p sure I used to be p decently opposed to Sonadow at first, because at the time I was super into Sonamy (which I’ll talk abt laterrr) though I learned more of the reasoning behind it and was like ‘oh! This is p decent’ and since Ive re-entered the Snoc fandom, Ive sorta reanalyzed my ships and looked into what real chemistry co9uld be there and frankly I just think that Sonadow has a lot of working potential, it reminds me of how I felt about McHanzo at first; They have a lot of working potential and thats what I love building off of. They have the potential to work really well together because the balance each other’s personalities and senses out (Shads bringing a sense of realism and Sonic bringing a lightheartedness) and neither has to worry about the other getting into trouble/hurt/being used against them because they’re both extremely capable of handling themselves. The difference between them and a ship like Mchanzo though is that they’ve already previously worked together and interacted on multiple occasions.

Im sorry I just have a LOT to say abt the ships I love ha h a–Also Ive noticed I have a tendacy to like ships where the partners balance each other?? God im predictableTalk about a pairing you’ve stopped shipping romantically.Sonamy has sort’ve dropped off the radar for me (except in Boom and maybe in X) at least in a more serious regard. Idk how to quite get how I feel into words r i pTalk about a moment which made you question an entire ship.I was actually watching a DHT (I think thats his name idk im tired lol) Top ten abt his personal opinions on ships? Cuz I like hearing other people’s opinions and point of views!! And I mean idk his points with Sonamy were really true and while I still think Sonamy is really cute and has gotten a bit less violent in recent years, the negatives at this point are sortve outweighing the positives atm imo? So it was just kinda like ‘huh. Thats tru’Have you ever shipped something despite yourself?No..? Idk if Im exactly understanding the question but if its asking if I still shipped smth even if it was against my morals? Then a definite no, if its nasty, its nasty imoTalk about a ship you feel alone in shipping.Wonderbat fandom where r u??Is there a ship you just don’t get, but have nothing against?The only ones I can really think of are Shadilver and Sonouge?? :00 Im just curious as to like the origin or reasoning behind the ships! I love hearing people’s reasons beyond “They look nice together” yknow? HahaWhich of your ships have the best chemistry?WONDERBATWONDERBATWONDERBATWONDERBAT–Which of your ships deserve better writing?Sonamy,,,, Jaya,,, //criesDo you mostly ship canon pairings?It depends! But a lot of times I end up soHave you ever shipped a pairing before you even started watching the show/movie simply because of gifs and graphics or similar?I probably have LMAOHave you noticed a pattern in your shipping? Is there a romantic dynamic you’re more drawn to?yEAHI like the dark broody one and the lighthearted cheery one where theyre opposite but not so much that they never get along. I like ones where its like sun and moon, where they balance each other out and both bring something to the table. Where its mutual.Is there a ship you’ve shipped for most of your life?Idk man, I didnt really have ships before I was 10 so like–Does shipping come easily to you?Somewhat, I need some good and moral reasons to ship two ppl before I turn into shipping puddy–Do you need to ship something to really enjoy a movie/book/tv show/comic?No, but if there’s a rlly good ship that I enjoy in the content then it definitely boosts how much enjoyment I get out of it hahaName a couple of fandoms in which you have no ships.I can only rlly say that for rlly obscure fandoms, like Ranger’s Apprentice. There’s also the FNAF book-verseTalk about one of your favorite headcanons for a ship you love.For Sonic and Shads I read this one thing ages ago abt Sonic teaching Shadow all the meanings each flower type and color portrays so them giving each other meaningful bouquets n shit is RLLY CUTE AND I LOVE THAT KIND OF STUFF OKAY,,,,,,Share five must-read fics.UNDER THE WISTERIA TREE IS EQUAL TO FIVE MUST READS! gO READ IT! (BUT BE PREPARED FOR TEARS AND LOTS OF THEM)Name your favorite fanartist(s).uHHHH @ludwigplayingthetrombone (Their expression are so soft,,,, n sweet,,, its so fluffy n good,,,) Share your favorite fanmix for your OTP.I dont have a favorite so just go look up some Everytime we touch PMVRecommend 1-5 shipper blogs.¯\_(ツ)_/¯Do you create fanmixes/gif sets/fanart/fic/fanvids and so on for you ships?I draw,,,, every once in a blue moon,,,,Do you have a favorite trope and/or AU for your OTP?Mutual pining and dorky fluffDo you like and use ship names?Yes!!!Is there a fictional relationship you’d really want for yourself?Nah boi Im ace lolIf you could change one thing about your OTP, what would that be?More interactions,,,, pl z ,,,,(diduknow that the “Pretty handy with that bow!” vl came out on my birthday last year?? Best gift man, thanks Blizzard, love ya)

[coquuin]

really LONG CHARACTER SURVEY. RULES. repost ,   don’t  reblog  !  good  luck  !

TAGGED. i stole it from Kiki!! TAGGING. whoever wants to do it!!

BASICS.

FULL NAME: Ezekiel Axel Ruiz Rosario

NICKNAME: Zeke

AGE: (Verse dependent) anywhere from 19 to 25! most often tho, i usually make him 25.

BIRTHDAY: November 15 (self given bc he doesnt know his real birthday)

ETHNIC GROUP: Puerto Rican / Latino

NATIONALITY: British-American

LANGUAGE(S): English, Spanish, Dutch, Japanese, Latin, Romanian, some Russian, and some Chinese! he likes to study languages a lot....

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Demi-Pansexual

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: Demi-Panromantic

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Hes multiship boiiii

CLASS: Upper class, though he really doesnt have very expensive tastes or anything. Seems like he’d be lower class, but. yknow, he is a celebrity so.

HOMETOWN / AREA: London, England

CURRENT HOME: A very small and shitty apartment. Yeah, he could get a much better home bc he does have the money, but... hes weird and likes a more slightly cramped space. dont question Ezekiel, he has weird preferences.

PROFESSION: Guitarist of the rock band Rogue! also used to work at a music shop when he was like 17, but that was back in London.

PHYSICAL.

HAIR: Very curly and messy black hair! He hardly bothers to take care of it. its prolly greasy bc hes a fucking gremlin pls make him take a shower. stinky boye

EYES: BIG OL FUCKIN EYES. they’re brown! a little sunken, and has massive bags under them--rather than the bags being from lack of sleep, though, theyre actually a result of too much sleep! Ezekiel can and WILL fall asleep wherever and whenever he wants. you cant stop him. his eyes are pretty big actually, and very expressive!

NOSE: the bitch looks like its been broken like ten times. he got a weird ass nose. its a little big, but not terribly so!

FACE: scrawny as FUCK. motherfucker’s head shape looks like a fuckin crescent moon. you know that one tiktok meme with the girl who has the weird ass moon lookin head? bitch looks like that a little bit. croissant lookin ass head.

LIPS: very thin! pls get him some chapstick

COMPLEXION: bitch looks like he hasnt gone out in the sun in over 20 years! which, actually, isnt entirely wrong bc he pretty much hasn’t. pale as fuck! his skin looks gray, like a fucking corpse. he looks like a zombie, but i swear to god hes a plain ass human i think

BLEMISHES: a lot! mostly on his body tho, especially on his back.

SCARS: A  L O T!!! his back is literally covered in a shit ton of scars in the shape of upside down crosses, and he has a lot on the rest of his body as well, and several on his left wrist. yeah he, uh... he aint okay

TATTOOS: None! hes way too terrified to get one and hates the idea of one being stuck on his body for like the rest of his life rip

HEIGHT: 6′ 3″ / 190.05cm

WEIGHT: about like... 98lbs?? which is. fUCKING TERRIBLE FOR HOW TALL HE IS!!! LIKE HOLY SHIT EZEKIEL ARE YOU GOOD??? HOW ARE YOU ALIVE?!?!?! EZEKIEL?!?!?!?! FUCKING EAT SOMETHING PL EASE

BUILD: SCRAWNY AS SHIT. HE IS SO SKINNY HOLY SHIT. OH MY GOD GET THIS BOY A FUCKING BURGER OR SOMETHING BEFORE HE DIES JESUS CHRIST!!!!

ALLERGIES: Dandelions! He’ll just sneeze a lot around them

USUAL HAIRSTYLE: The bangs are kiiiinda kept to the side sorta just so its not falling in his eyes, but other than that, he doesnt really bother to like, style it or anything. its just curly and messy. although! when he was a child all the way to his teens, he did have a stupid ass bowlcut! but that wasnt his own choice, so he cant really be blamed for it :(

USUAL FACE LOOK: motherfucker has the WORST case of resting bitch face you will ever fucking see. even when hes happy he still looks angery sometimes!!! but thats literally just his fucking face!!!!

USUAL CLOTHING: a looot of slightly baggy clothing. lots of hoodies! especially wears a lot of black and red, mostly black. also wears mostly boots or sneakers, usually the ladder. he just doesnt really give two shits about fashion, as he’s more concerned with just sorta.. hiding his body. hes very insecure! save him

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEAR(S): "the devil”, getting close to anyone, performing in front of people, people in general, cats, knives & other sharp objects, the sight of his own blood

ASPIRATION(S): "to escape the Devil’s wrath,” as he phrases it. of course, the whole ‘THE DEVIL IS OUT TO KILL EVERYONE I LOVE AND THEN HE’LL KILL ME NEXT’ thing is obviously just in Ezekiel’s head, but it feels very real to him! he basically just wants to be free of the “demons” in his head. aside from that, he also really really reeaaally wants to own an orphanage someday! basically take in orphan kids and help give them a much better life than he had. but as for right now, he fully realizes he’s not ready for that at all, so he’s currently more focused on his music career and getting better mentally, though the ladder is a slow process.

POSITIVE TRAITS: Patient, simple, humble

NEGATIVE TRAITS: Rude, temperamental, paranoid

ZODIAC: Scorpio!

TEMPERAMENT: uhhhh fuck idk i just took a quiz for this and ezekiel got like a tie between phlegmatic and melancholic--but if i had to guess, i’d say melancholic!

SOUL TYPE(S): Spiritualist!

ANIMALS: i always associate Ezekiel with dogs bc. he literally just acts like a fuckin angery dog. and an angery snake or something. bUT MOSTLY DOGS. he will literally bark at people, because he’s a fucking weirdo who doesnt know how to behave like a normal fucking human being

VICE  HABIT(S): uhhh drugs and alcohol are a big thing he does!! and generally pushing everyone away so he doesnt get close to anyone! and also acting like a gotdam ANIMAL. SOMEONE PLS MAKE EZEKIEL STOP FUCKING BARKING AND HISSING AT PEOPLE!!!

FAITH: Christian! his religion is very important to him too!

GHOSTS?: Yes!

AFTERLIFE?: Yes!

REINCARNATION?: He isn’t really sure about reincarnation, but wants to believe it exists.

ALIENS?: Yes.

POLITICAL ALIGNMENT: fuck if he knows. ezekiel could not give less of a shit about politics and hardly knows anything about it bc he really doesnt keep up with anything.

SOCIO POLITICAL POSITION: he doesnt give a fuck

EDUCATION LEVEL: None. he never even went to school, fun fact!

FAMILY.

FATHER: Dead!

MOTHER: Dead!

SIBLINGS: None!

EXTENDED FAMILY: None!

NAME MEANING(S): Ezekiel means “God will strengthen”! I have no idea what Rosario means sadly bc i cant find anything good on it on google :(

HISTORICAL CONNECTION?: None that he knows of.

FAVORITES.

BOOK: He couldn’t possibly pick a single favorite book--he loves a lot! but he loves mostly romance genres! which is so fucking ironic considering he’s fucking terrified of getting into relationships. and even more ironically? he doesnt read any horror genres bc it scares him too much!

MOVIE: he doesn’t know.

5 SONGS: While My Guitar Gently Weeps - the Beatles; Brick in the Wall - Pink Floyd; Stairway to Heaven - Led Zeppelin; Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen; Don’t Fear the Reaper - Blue Oyster Cult.

DEITY: God, Jesus

HOLIDAY: Christmas! everyone expects Ezekiel to be like the grinch or something and hate Christmas, but nope! He surprisingly loves it!

MONTH: March

SEASON: Fall

PLACE: His bed

WEATHER: Preferably a little cold, but not too much, bc he just cant stand being hot--and completely dark outside!

SOUND: Gentle guitar strums.

SCENT(S): Ivory

TASTE(S): Anything thats like. Meat. hes very picky tho

FEEL(S): Skin. As in, like, being affectionate with someone else! He’s just very touch starved rip

ANIMAL(S): Yknow, oddly enough, despite acting like a fuckin wild animal a lot, he doesnt like animals much. but definitely dogs are his favorite!

NUMBER: 20

COLORS: Red and black--though he likes blue as well, especially dark blue.

EXTRA.

TALENTS: Music--especially with guitar! And painting, writing, literature.

BAD AT: Anything to do with math or science and stuff like that; anything that requires physical work. hes p much bad at like.. most things tbh.

TURN ONS: Just like.. be soft and gentle with him... also probably has a lowkey praise kink--if you could call it much of a kink i guess? hes pretty vanilla tbh. hes just soft.....

TURN OFFS: If you go rough on him at all he WILL cry. Also anything that, like, restricts him like ropes or some shit will literally make him panic so fucking bad. basically hes just vanilla as fuck, just be gentle with him pls

HOBBIES: Writing / playing music, writing in general, painting, watching random ass movies on TV until he falls asleep, sleeping, avoiding his problems like the fuckin wind

TROPES: man fuck if i know

AESTHETIC TAGS: literally all of Aurelio Voltaire’s songs; shit you’d see in Halloween (which is funny bc Ezekiel fucking hates Halloween); vampires; satanic symbolism. which is all ironic, bc Ezekiel doesnt actually like spooky shit! but it all sure does give big Ezekiel vibes anyway

GPOY  QUOTES: huh

FC INFO.

MAIN  FC(S): Jack the ripper from, well, Oyasumi Jack the Ripper!

ALT FC(S): None!

OLDER FC(S): None!

YOUNGER  FC(S): None rip

VOICE CLAIM(S): Murdoc Niccals from Gorillaz

GENDERBENT FC(S): iiiiii dont really do genderbends pretty much so none

MUN QUESTIONS.

Q1: IF YOU COULD WRITE YOUR CHARACTER YOUR WAY IN THEIR OWN MOVIE, WHAT WOULD IT BE CALLED, WHAT STYLE WOULD IT BE FILMED IN, AND WHAT WOULD IT BE ABOUT?:

Honestly probably something like the movie Sybil??? like basically just delving deep into his whole psychology and mindset and whatnot and why he acts the way he acts. those are always like my FAVORITE type of movies, and Ezekiel would honestly be fucking perfect for something like that bc literally every single aspect of his entire personality has been molded in some way shape or form by some event in his life, especially to do with the cult he was raised in, and it hONESTLY IS SO INTERESTING TO JUST LIKE.. STUDY WHAT EZEKIELS BRAIN IS LIKE BASICALLY. AT LEAST FOR ME ANYWAY BC I AM HIS MUN AND ALL BUT.

Q2: WHAT WOULD THEIR SOUNDTRACK / SCORE SOUND LIKE?:

for some reason i always kinda associate him with like edgy violin and piano music?? i mean hey rock stars can be classy too fuck u

Q3: WHY DID YOU START WRITING THIS CHARACTER?:

WELL ORIGINALLY WHEN I FIRST CREATED HIM HE WAS JUST BASED OFF MURDOC NICCALS BC, YALL ALREADY KNOW DAMN WELL IM OBSESSED WITH THAT PICKLE MAN, BUT. Now, however, he’s WAAAAAAAAY different and i just love writing him so much bc like. basically like what i said in the movie question!! he is SO fucking interesting to delve into psychology wise. like, yeah he has an edgy ass tragic backstory, but whats neat about that is you can absolutely see how said edgy backstory ties into his mindset and individual habits and how the memories of it still affects his everyday life despite the fact that he’s escaped it a long time ago now. even in the small things he does, chances are is that every single thing that he does is either something he does to soothe and comfort himself for his own safety, or something that has just been fucking drilled into his mind by the cult members and whatnot, if any of that makes sense? LIKE YALL DONT UNDERSTAND I HAVE LITERALLY WATCHED LIKE HOURS LONG DOCUMENTARIES ON ORPHANAGES AND SATANIC CULTS AND PSYCHOLOGY AND HOW TRAUMA LIKE WHAT EZEKIEL EXPERIENCED CAN FUCK SOMEONE UP, JUST FOR THE SAKE OF WRITING HIM CORRECTLY AND REALISTICALLY. LIKE HE STARTED OFF AS SOME MURDOC NICCALS REJECT WHEN I MADE HIM IN LIKE?? 2015 MAYBE??? BUT NOW, MY MAIN INTEREST IN HIM IS LIKE, HOW FASCINATING HIS FUCKING MIND IS IN A WAY. idk im a big psychology nerd but.

Q4: WHAT FIRST ATTRACTED YOU TO THIS CHARACTER?:

Murdoc

Q5: DESCRIBE THE BIGGEST THING YOU DISLIKE ABOUT YOUR MUSE:

him pushing everyone away! like its one thing to have a self-defense mechanism like where you just generally act kinda mean to drive people off, but Ezekiel can really take it to a whole new level and he really can be like.. a hUGE ASSHOLE BC OF IT. its mostly when he realizes that he may be starting to become close with anyone that it really gets to a bad point and he becomes all the more self-destructive. THIS IS GONNA BE VERY UNSANITARY SO WARNING BUT hes literally told someone in an rp once like “YOURE GOING TO FORCE ME TO EAT YOUR SHIT OR DRINK YOUR FUCKING URINE JUST LIKE THOSE FUCKING PEOPLE IN THE ORPHANAGE DID, ARENT YOU???? IS THAT WHAT YOU FUCKING WANT FROM ME?? TO USE ME, HURT ME, CUT ME, WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT??? WE ARE NEVER GOING TO BE FUCKING FRIENDS YOU GODDAMN IDIOT!!! WHAT THE HELL MADE YOU THINK WE HAD ANYTHING IN COMMON??” AND ITS JUST KINDA.. YIKES SCOOB! but basically hes willing to say just about anything to push people away so he can avoid getting close to anyone

Q6: WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN COMMON WITH YOUR MUSE?:

WE BOTH FEAR AND AVOID ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS LIKE THE FUCKIN WIND. also when i was younger i definitely had a tendency to try and make people hate me just to push people away like Ezekiel does but im not like that anymore thankfully!!

Q7: HOW DOES YOUR MUSE FEEL ABOUT YOU?:

oh hed probably try to fucking kill me lol

Q8: WHAT CHARACTERS DOES YOUR MUSE HAVE INTERESTING INTERACTIONS WITH?

HONESTLY LIKE.. P MUCH EVERY INTERACTION EZEKIEL HAS IS SO GOOD. Ezekiel is one of those characters where its very hard to have a boring rp bc he just does so much shit, so like no matter who i rp him with, its bound to be amazing. ALTHOUGH I DO NEED TO MAKE HIM INTERACT WITH MORE PEOPLE TBH!!! the only problem i have when writing him sometimes is actually making him talk to new people, bc of his extreme shut-in attitude and whatnot, so he literally just never starts conversations with anyone he barely knows.

Q9: WHAT GIVES YOU INSPIRATION TO WRITE YOUR MUSE?:

listening to any music that reminds me of him! but otherwise, it usually just comes pretty naturally to me tbh. just some days ill be in the mood for him all day--same with a lot of my characters actually.

Q10: HOW LONG DID THIS TAKE YOU TO COMPLETE?:

A LONG ASS TIME

[lovlettres-moved]

AGWBWW that soundtrack is so good it tugs at my heart im so glad u shared it w/ me! I really am reliving all of this again I feel like I ran a marathon,, one of my fav ost is called “frustration”!! “evolution” & “supernatural haste” r really good too// ohmygod that scene where oikawa falls trying to chase that ball ahshhh same I always cry at that part ;; seijoh is just a Wholesome team!where it’s not centered around one player only and the trust they have for each other! i totally get u,,, 1/3

god the whole scene were he says talent is something u bloom!! bleasee (this worthless pride of mine!)now that I’m a lil older and having rewatched it, i feel like I understand and (admire??)oikawa way more,,he really is so so hardworking and then u think about how they never went to nationals :’)) I too sometimes think that this is all fictional and im getting way too emotional,but! im having fun and enjoying my time so I should give myself a break and just watch what makes me happy yknow! 2/3

scenes!! let’s see every time oikawa serves and the crowd goes goooo!! I get chills havwhgwhw also the whole match w/ johzenji is soo so fun to watch!! I lov how they’re not afraid to try something new even if it costed them the whole set?? Idk i just remember having a good time watching them play,,,,aaand i loved the scene where daichi got injured and they showed just how important he is even tho he doesn’t have any flashy moves or whatnot!! i have a soft spot for these kind of characters…3/3

oh wow this is getting too long I hope I’m not annoying you w/ my ramblings!! youre so fun to talk to, thank you friend youre too sweet😔💫 enjoy s3 too!! also whats your fav opening and ending out of all of them? for me, i lov the second op in s2, the s3 op and the second ending in s1!!

IT is, i rlly rlly love it and it always makes me cry,,,, when the whole music slows down and the violins just play slowly,,, it’s beautiful i used to play the whole playlist after school on the bus everyday and sleep listening to it lol, the whole thing is supposed to hype you up but somehow it calmed me and i slept, i want to gjke go back :( when we used to get excited over the episodes coming out, every week,, fun times interesting,,,, those osts !!!!! i love them the violins most of them have violins and makes me cry all the time,,,, frustration is so good ahh!!!! so are the latter ones,,, i cant wait to listen to the whole osts again :p i cannot for the life of me believe they put violins n pianos in such a hyper anime jvfknvdkjd it makes everything so much more,,,,, worth watching yknow 

yknow the scene when oikawa turns around to say i believe in all of you but they all say “we believe in you captain” ,,,, have u ever seen a Team where every single one of them trust the other so b i g ,,,, its wholesome,,, heartbreaking, amazing, i rlly love that scene, the whole 5/6 episodes with seijoh really did end me entirely 

mvkdsgjns bls pal, this is the most weird n embarrassing gmrjdkgdn thing im putting out on the internet but my 16 yr old self got through her junior year because of that phrase “talent is something you make bloom, instinct is something you polish” , i used to watch haikyuu before the start of njfkesn junior year, damn those times really were good ones, i used to look up to the way oikawa worked so hard, so damn much, n now that i am rewatching it ,,, i get you i totally get you, i Just seem to get everything 2 years later huh, 

GOd dont remind me jeivsj have u seen the movie, i actually havent but heres this clip on youtube of seijoh after the match,, its very …. sad (but hopeful in a way at the same time) so thats a little warning ( x ) i dont think i cried this bad even during the match…. hhh

ah i have been thinking about, the emotional investment i really put into these fictional characters, but i guess when you’re enjoying something and learning something from it, it really doesnt matter, as long as it makes you happy you can put all energy into it, doesnt really matter much heh!!! 

ah the match with johzenji is my second favoruite, the seijoh one is intense and powerful, and the johzenji one is just so fun to watch, they were all so fun to watch, pulling tricks out of nowehere, how impulsive they are n they just ?? pull off everything so perfectly, it was a fun game to watch, ah but the end, again it broke me,,, terushimas expression when he realized, ah youre right about having soft spot for these type of characters, i love them really!!! they build the base of the whole thing yknow hhhh 

oh no you’re not annoying me at all, i love talking to you pal…. its been a long time since i watched it n i love talking about anything n everything jfegksnd i always have so much to say :p (i just hope my answers arent too big n overwhelming hhh) okay hmm favourite uh i love the s2 opening both of them, n for the ending the first s2 ending (the lighter mellowish one) n the funky s3 ending heh, okay question, who’s your favourite character? (i’ll start with mine i actually officially decided after thinking for so long oikawa (i think its very obvious) / sugawara / kuroo / futakuchi / makki / mattsun / iwaizumi / kenma heh

[missandrogyny]

I completely agree. I personally LOVED the movie and I know part of it is because WWII history fascinates me and I knew nothing about this story. And because my grandfather fought in the war. I was super close to him and he passed away a few years ago. This made me think about him again and contemplate what he must have gone through. But other people could think it was the worst movie ever made. We don't all have the same tastes and that's perfectly okay. Unfortunately Tumblr makes it seem like

we are sinning if we don't LOVE everything the boys do. Which is ridiculous. That's not how the world works, and it's not how it should work. Anyway rant over haha

aww love, i’m sorry about your grandfather. :( so much love for him and i’m glad that the movie made you remember him ❤️

but yes, hahaha i agree. we should be critical consumers of everything that’s presented in front of us. or at least, we should at least be able to express our like/dislike for something without people saying our opinion is wrong. like, i personally don’t interpret a lot of things in this fandom the same way as other people, but i would never go up to them and tell them that what they think is wrong, yknow? it’s an opinion. let them do them. and if other people enjoyed the film as some sort of cinematography genius (which it was) and didn’t really want to discuss the actors/the characters that’s fine to you know? i just dont like that there are people advocating that we have to have a hive mind to support the boys 

[astriduribe53-blog]

first time anal mature - 5 Unheard Of Ways To Achieve Greater Mature With Younger

Clara and I had been friends for years. She was one of my first friends when I entered high school and we remained close pretty much throughout. Wed talked about dating a few times, but one or the other of us was always in a relationship. Senior year came around and her life really split apart, her dad kicked her out suddenly, her boyfriend had cheated on her and shed had a major falling out with the majority of our friends since her boyfriend was pretty well networked amongst them. She really needed a break and my family decided to provide her one. She had always been a good friend to the entire family, so it wasnt even a conversation when she needed a place to stay, my parents accepted her with open arms. She came with a duffle bag of things and moved into my little sisters room. She kept insisting shed only stay a week at most, but my parents let her know that she could stay as long as she needed to! At that time, I worked most evenings, getting home a little after 10pm, just in time to catch a late night talk show, chat a moment with my parents and then play something on PlayStation before I went to bed myself. The first night she was staying, I didnt even know it was happening! She had asked my mother, who had established all of the plans. So I came home after a long day to find Clara sitting on the couch with my parents watching the tail end of the news. I greeted her with a smile and got a snack while Jay Leno started up. We sat up and all chatted during Jay Leno. Once his opening monologue was over, my parents packed up and headed to bed. "Youre staying the night?" I finally inquired once my parents were upstairs. Wed all talked about it a little bit, but I wanted to hear from her myself. "Yeah. Your mom was too nice about it," she smiled, curled up under a blanked, wearing some flannel pajama pants and a tanktop with a black bra. I sat down next to her with a tortilla I had just nuked. "Mm, that smells good," she smiled. "Want it?" I asked, offering her the untouched snack. She politely accepted and I got up to make another. "So how long will you be here?" I inquired, waiting for the microwave. "Ill find a place before next week," she insisted, mouth half full of tortilla. What felt absurd about that was the fact that it was already Thursday, not leaving her nearly long enough to find a place. "Im sure its fine if you need to stay longer," I assured her, taking the tortilla out and rolling it up before heading back to the couch to sit down. "Your family is very sweet," she smiled. "Bah, stop it!" I played back. We continued to shoot the shit, chatting about my day at work and making stupid jokes that high schoolers do. By a little after midnight, we werent really talking about anything. We were really just... well, at the time, I wasnt sure! In hindsight, I think we both knew what we wanted to do, but were too afraid to take the next step. Our conversation circled about in empty ways, rehashing stupid jokes and mocking one another lightly. I think we were definitely flirting. But, 2am rolled by and we decided to head off to bed without so much as a kiss. I think we were both thinking it though. I certainly went to bed with the curiosity on my mind. The next morning broke and I headed downstairs for breakfast. I had apparently slept in quite considerably! I awoke to an empty house, everyone having gone out for things, my mother and sister out for groceries, my older brother out to work and my younger brother out to the gym with his friends to play basketball. I searched the whole house and nobody was home. Unless. I headed back upstairs and headed to my sisters room to find Clara curled up, still fast asleep. She had her tanktop on, but had taken off her pants and was just in panties, also, it appeared she had taken off her bra, her nipples lightly shone as the sunlight hit her chest. I walked to the bed slowly, looking at her lengthy legs, toned from running, but smooth and perfect. She was nearly 6 foot for sure, which was good since I am quite a tall fellow. I sat down on the bed and touched her arm. "Hey Clara, want some breakfast?" She rolled over slowly and opened her eyes. She stretched her arms over her head, her breasts puffing outward. She relaxed and looked up at me with a quiet smile. "Yeah. What time is it?" She yawned, sitting up. "Almost noon. I guess we could have lunch," she chuckled as she grabbed some jeans from her bag and slipped them up, shimmying into them, the waistband hugging her as on the way up. "Well, either way, lets eat!" She demanded, "Im starving!" Over brunch we discussed her recent break up and the subsequent fallout with a lot of "friends". She expressed feeling really hurt for many reasons, but also realizing that she was growing from this and that she didnt want such shallow relationships anyhow. "I like knowing someone is truly my friend, yknow? Like you!" I laughed. "I do what I can!" She insisted that I was doing exploited mature women way more than that, but I reminded her that it was mostly my mom who was being hospitable. "Speaking of which, where is your mom?" She looked around, seemingly realizing what I had: that we were alone. Completely. "I think shes at the store with Liz," I started putting away the food, my body stuffed from the little meal wed shared. She nodded quietly. "Oh hey! Let me show you something!" She darted up from the table and grabbed my hand, leading me upstairs to her temporary room. She rummaged through her baggage, finally settling on a small sketchbook. She tossed it in my lap and sat beside me. I held my hand close to hers, quite delighted by the contact! She was an artist and she loved sharing her work with me. I let my hand slide closer still to hers as we browsed her work. She walked me through each piece, skipping past pages of work she didnt like or prefer. I also noticed that she was using her other hand to point things out and flip the page. I looked down to see the sides of our hands touching, not anything new for us. Wed often gone to movies together in the theater, letting our arms rest close, even getting to the point that she rested her head on my shoulder. That said, it was all the more exhilarating in this context, wondering what a touch could lead to. That wonder quickly disappeared though as the garage door opened. "We probably should go downstairs," I insisted and she nodded, seeming a little disheartened. Perhaps she was wanting the same thing as I did. We headed downstairs and helped pull in groceries just in time for me to get ready for work. I couldnt help but wonder what would have happened if wed had more time. That and hope that wed have another chance this evening. So naturally, work dragged on hard. It was only 6 hours, but by 2 hours in I was almost completely over it! I went to lunch and texted Clara to complain about work. We exchanged pleasantries for 30 minutes and then I headed back to the. Longest. Day. Ever. By the time 10 rolled around I was exhausted from sexual tension, entirely self inflicted by endless fantasies. Id imagined her in her panties and her tank top, imagining running my hands through her dark, wavy hair. I imagined the touch of her skin and the look of her body. I got home to the usual scene: parents on the couch, wrapping up watching the news and Clara there, nestled in a book with a pair of red shorts on and a black tank top. I put a tortilla in the microwave and sat at the dining room table, leafing through a fashion catalog absentmindedly. As I stood up to retrieve my tortilla, Clara stood in the kitchen, looking at me. "How was work?" She asked, maneuvering past me to take a seat at the table. I sat down, mouth full of food. "Long... Boring and long. How were things here?" We yammered back and forth, my parents coming into the dining room about 30 minutes later to say good night. We cordially replied and then went back to our discussion. Or, tried to. I felt like the entire energy had changed in that moment. We were really really alone quite suddenly. She finally broke the silence, reminding me where I was in the midst of a story. Again, we just shot the shit, chatting about nothing, but sitting really close. I didnt want to let tonight go to waste without seeing what could possibly happen. I devised a plan. "Man, wanna go sit on the floor? Im exhausted and the floor looks comfortable," hella smooth! "Oh yeah?" She smirked, shaking her head. "What?" I followed as she headed to the carpeted floor, sitting down on a pillow. "Oh no, you were right this is SO much cozier," she teased. I didnt know how to reply, she seemed to be calling me out for something (and rightfully so) but also didnt seem upset about it. Id love to say that I had some quick get back, but I froze up and just changed the subject. Not as smooth as I wish I was. We just continued on lazing about the floor, our bodies and faces drifting closer and closer together. We sat less than a foot apart as she watched me, my words empty and her ears deaf. She kept glancing down at my lips and Im positive I returned the gesture. I would say nothing and she would reply with a snarky affirmation, her eyes becoming impatient, knowing full-well my intent, but my courage still too small to overcome the unscalable distance between us! She would even tilt her head to accommodate a very simple trajectory to a kiss. I dont remember many details from the conversation, just that she leaned even closer to me and said something along the lines of "oh yeah professor. And what else do you have planned?" And something in those words was enough to bridge the gap between us. Enough for ME to bridge the gap between us. I leaned in, grabbing the side of her neck and kissed her gently, her lips inviting and soft. Her whole body eased to me as we finally made contact. And this wasnt the feeling of making contact after two hours of conversation, this was the feeling of making contact after nearly 4 years of knowing what we wanted. And I felt that need reciprocated in her kiss. She put a hand up and held my neck, holding me against the kiss. She laid back, forcing me to lean over her, our clad chests meeting. This already felt more intimate than any other kiss I had engaged in before, our bodies touching as we held into the kiss. She wrapped her arms around behind my head as I stroked her cheek, barely coming up for air when we needed it. So, we lay there and made out breathlessly in the front room of my house, completely lost to the world for a brief moment. I slowly came to though and realized that we were quite compromised here. Both the front door and the stairwell were within eyeshot of where we lay. My brother was still out and about and could come home at any time and if we made too much noise, we might wake up my parents and could easily see us from the top of the stairs. "Want to move to the couch in the living room?" I looked back at a startled Clara, who seemed to think I was leaving. If you cherished this article and you would like to get much more data with regards to milf squirt compilation kindly visit our web-site. She looked to the stairwell and nodded. "Gotcha. Yeah!" She said. I went to get up, but she pulled me by the collar and kissed me again, almost causing us to be unable to stop once more. I insisted, pulling away and leading her to the couch. She tugged me back, pulling at the buttons on my button down. "Take this off," she demanded. Before she could finish unbuttoning it, I slipped the top off over my head and moved to the couch. She sat atop my lap as I reached for the remote. "Probably best to leave the TV on just in case." As I leafed through the channels, she kissed my neck, distracting me from my task. "C-careful," I pleaded, not wanting her to leave a mark on my neck, but she didnt much care, nor would she at any point. This became one of her favorite games: distract me while Im trying to do something by touching me. I was trying to find something reasonable for us to be "watching" should my brother get home, but every time I started to process what was on the screen, I could feel her hips gently sway against my crotch, the fabric between us barely masking the shape of her vulva, so soft and rounded. She would also kiss my neck and nibble my ear, but, despite the challenge, I found a station and proceeded to push her away from my neck, leaning in again to kiss her. She sighed and it felt as though her whole body just melted. She dropped her chest to mine and ran her hands through my hair. I let a hand rest on her hip, her tank top having slid up slightly. Shock filled my system as I felt her skin against my ring finger. Perhaps it seems silly, but this was the first foray into such sensuous territory! The idea of what this contact could open to, the fact that all of her skin was connected to this simple point, it dawned on me, in that moment, as tremendously salient. But I didnt dare move my hand. Although Clara was warming up to everything, anything more than kissing was untempered waters for me. I really didnt want to blow it! Clara pulled away from the kiss, a smile opened on her face as she rested her arms on my shoulder. "Do you know how long Ive waited for that?! Why did it take you sooo long?!" She teased. "To be fair we have both been occupied with others on and off. Not a lack of wanting to," I reassured her. "How long have you wanted to?" She inquired, climbing off my lap and leaning into the corner of the sectional. "Pretty much ever since we met!" I leaned over to kiss her again and she obliged, holding my face near. "4 years is too damn long," she smiled. "Well, then Im glad we didnt wait any longer." She rested a hand against my thigh as we continued to make out, my hand resting on her side. She had grown quite warm from our little tryst, her lips almost hot against mine. She let her tongue play along the edge of my lips, but she would recoil whenever I would try to reciprocate, a smile eventually growing on her lips. She would let her lips linger near mine, glancing my lips gently with her tongue. If I was patient, she would come closer, letting her tongue venture further into my mouth. But the first sign of movement she got and she would pull away, eventually getting to the point that she would actually laugh. All the while, her hand stayed on my thigh and it hardly "stayed". As she teased me with her little kisses and such, her hand kept moving inward, but then retracting. Every time she would teasingly kiss me, her hand would inch between my legs, but she would always stop and pull her hand back. Eventually she just started in a rubbing motion, her lips intoxicatingly close, her breathing almost intentionally hot. I had had enough. I quickly grabbed her neck and let all the tension rapidly catalyze into passion as I pressed a kiss to her. She let out a slight moan and her hand gripped at my thigh. She kissed me back, tongues dancing with heat. She actually pushed back against me now, like a magnet attracted too forcibly! Im not sure she even realized how quickly her hand slid forward as we made out again. She continued in the rubbing motion, very quickly finding her palm against the bulge in my pants. I let out a sigh as she quietly moaned. Already, this felt incredible and dangerous. I had never even received a handjob at this point in my life. Being a young Christian boy, I was against anything other than kissing... but, this. This was too good to pass up! She rubbed along the length of it, open palmed, investigating the real shape of it with her fingers. She pushed my face away and took a passionate taste of my neck, sending one single jolt down my spine. I shook slightly as the bolt dispersed through my system. As my pleasure suddenly spiked, I could feel myself reaching close to orgasm. "C-careful," I pleaded again, holding her wrist. She slowed, but then pouted. "Am I too much for you?" She smirked. "Just at the moment, gimme a sec- She cut off my sentence, starting to rub me again. She would stop whenever I would place a touch to her wrist, sometimes only slowing. I felt like I had a fucking fever, my temperature spiking with each tease. I even started swaying my hips, now wanting desperately to cum! But she wouldnt let me. She breathed heavily in my ear and she nibbled the lobe, her palm moving slower and more carefully against me, my hips swaying almost embarrassingly desperately! She suddenly pulled her hand away and smiled at me. "I think you might need a breather," she headed to the bathroom and I laid back on the couch, quite tempted to just finish myself off. But there was more to be done tonight and I didnt want to ruin that. I let my blood pressure settle with my body temperature, trying desperately to calm down! Staring at the ceiling, I could feel my erection decreasing, my body cooling off. My breathing was normal and I could think straight again. I looked over at my phone, curious to the time. Sitting up, I picked it up and flipped it open. 2 messages. Both from my brother. STAYING AT DYLANS TONIGHT. LET MOM KNOW. BE HOME TOMORROW AFTERNOON Clara, freshened up, laid down on the long section of the couch, smirking deviously. It only dawned on me the reason for her smirks, when I saw a bra in her hands. Blood flooded from my brain, but not enough that I completely lost sense. I was working out the math and realizing where the night was going to go if I didnt put a stop to it now. The Protestant guilt warred with the primal part of me. I knew without a doubt what I wanted... but I was concerned now with what I should want. Clara laid back, her tank top climbing up and revealing her stomach, just above her belly button. Without thinking, I climbed over to her, my crotch pressing warmly to hers as my body dropped. She smiled and welcomed me with a small peck and I returned the favor. I reasoned that if I didnt tell her about my brother, then things wouldnt get out of hand. We could make out for a bit and then go to bed, no sin involved (beyond perhaps that which I had already engaged in). My hips started to sway against hers as we resumed. Her legs wrapped around me, but gave me room to maneuver. Her hands extended down my back, slipping inside my pants and beneath my boxers to cup my ass. She let out a contented sigh, provoking my hips to move. Her hips raised as she spread her legs further. She leaned up to my ear. "My bra isnt the only thing I took off," she whispered. I thrust again, this time imagining how it must have felt to have one fewer layer between us, seeing if I could feel how much closer we were not. Admittedly, it didn’t really feel any different, but it still drove me wild with excitement and I think she could tell. She tried to refrain from moaning as I ground up against her, her hands still pulling me in for more.. She tilted her head to the side allowing me access to her neck, which I took advantage of. I kissed her right at her jawline, unleashing my teeth against her skin softly. Arms growing tired, I rolled over to the side, her hands sliding out of my pants. I let my hand move between her legs fearlessly and started to rub her. I knew nothing about what I was doing, but for what I had seen in porn. It seemed like rubbing her up and down or in circles would be the best way to go about it. Whatever I was doing though, it was right, because she covered her mouth, her hips raising to meet my touch. Her face was totally flushed from our dirty activities, the fabric of her shorts soaked. At that moment in time, I didn’t realize that this was a sign of arousal, at least slightly. I just thought vaginas were always this soaked… As we lay there, I continued to kiss her, her hand traveling back to the front of my pants, gripping me more furiously this time! I sighed out loudly against the kiss, my pleasure no longer close to peak, but my desire to cum almost completely overwhelming! Her rubbing became more and more furious, our passionate kissing raising our body temperatures. I just remember laying there, sweating quite intensely as the hours passed on, this erotic adventure quite exhilirating already, my mind and body open to see what other mysteries it had in store for me. Just then I heard the sound of the zipper on my pants. I looked down to see that Clara had already unbuttoned my pants without me knowing and was just now reaching the bottom of my zipper. She looked up at me, eyes wide and lustful. She maneuvered into my boxers. I moaned as her hand touched my throbbing, rigid cock. She pulled my cock through the hole in the front of my boxers and looked down. She sighed "That’s a relief," she smiled at me, biting her lip. "What?" "I was REALLY hoping you had a big dick!" she sighed out, as if she had heard it in a porno recently or something... I just smiled back, too intrigued with what was happening to care about her awkward compliment. Perhaps she knew what she was doing, giving me more credit that I was due in order to further seduce me. It wasn’t too long before she had crawled down to my member, licking the precum off the top. I couldn’t stop her as she took the head into her mouth, sucking lightly. My head spun and I was consumed with pleasure. I was pretty sure that I was going to cum immediately, but she constantly kept stopping, seemingly knowing the pleasure that she was bringing to me! Her head gently bobbed back down, deeper each time, her tongue circling my cock with each recoil. I swear at this point I must have been running a dangerous fever, my whole body just wanting the release of orgasm, my every inch so sensitive to her masterful touch. I held my hand over my mouth, laying back, sweat pouring from my brow. She could fit about half the length before it was too much for her, but that was certainly enough for me. It was incredible to me to be sharing all of this with her, especially after all this time. I just remember a sort of sexual resonance at that point, a warmth inside my body. I was enjoying feeling sexual and I kind of didnt ever want to cum. Too late. I warned her with another quiet "c-careful," but she made a decision and that was to let me cum in her mouth. My body gave into orgasm, hot cum splashing into her soft mouth. I felt her suck up and swallow every last drop. She moved back up to me and kissed my cheek. "Good?" She asked. I could only manage to nod. "I should return the favor," I remarked. She smirked but shook her head. "I dont think I could stay quiet," she laughed. "We could use a pillow, you could moan into it," I wasnt going to give up that easily. But she shook her head. "Another time maybe," she gave a half-hearted smile at me as she planted a kiss on my lips. And in that moment I had two choices: let the evening fizzle out from there and go to bed to see what daylight brought for us or tell her about the vacancy in the basement and leave everything up to chance... At that point how could I turn back? If we went downstairs, I was essentially agreeing to sex. "Well… actually…" I really considered what I was about to say as I looked to her. "Andrew texted me," I explained, her face rather close to mine. She nodded and laughed. "Well, congrats," she teased, giving me a quizzical look. "He’s staying at Dylan’s tonight…" I watched her eyes, but the meaning of my words didn’t seem to sink in, "Meaning that he won’t be home tonight…" she still gave no indication that any of this was making sense to her. I sighed, she was really going to make me come out and say it explicitly. Her face dwelled close to mine, her eyes locked on my gaze. "What are you trying to say?" she inquired. "The basement is free tonight… so we could use it for… uhm, activities" she offered me a hesitant smile. No, the smile wasn’t hesitant, but she was indicating hesitance through the smile. "You don’t think your parents might hear us anyways?" she inquired. I frowned and shrugged, unsure if they would or not. The risk was certainly a factor, but it was also part of the appeal. "I’m sorry, I just don’t think I could keep quiet." And, just like last night, the evening fizzled out. We made out for another half hour or so, but it was not meant to be. Getting off at the end of the night, I actually somehow felt good about how things wrapped up. We had some fun, but nobody compromised their "purity". But oh man! If I had known what was going to happen soon, I may not have felt so easy about it. /u/dreddito